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ingravinoveritas · 5 years

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Title: Reprobation Author: Me Rating: Hard R Pairing: Jonny Lee Miller/Ewan McGregor/Jude Law Warning: Contains sexual content, language, and British boys in their 20s generally being British boys in their 20s. Disclaimer: Not real, never happened (god, I wish), no defamation of character intended. Please don’t sue. Thanks. Summary: Jonny is a Spice Girls fan. Ewan and Jude catch him being one and decide there’s going to be hell to pay. Takes place in the ‘90s when JLM, EM, and JL were roommates in London. Author’s Note: For @memadcow, who is entirely to blame for this, and inspired by one of Jonny’s recent Insta stories. [Also available on AO3.]

“Fuck...”

Jonny frowned at his image in the mirror, pulling off a third tie and throwing it onto the bed. The audition was in two hours, and he still couldn’t decide what to wear. It was for a period piece--not one he found terribly interesting, but options were scarce and so was money--and he’d take anything if it meant keeping the lights on for another month.

A fourth tie flopped its way out of the closet then, and Jonny’s face flushed as he remembered the last time he’d worn it: Not around his neck, but around his wrists, which had been bound behind him.

Happy memories...

He put it on, pleased at the idea of wearing it while spouting some poncy, ridiculous dialogue to a couple of stiffs in suits.

Jonny was surprised to feel his stomach still flutter with nerves, even after all this time, and he rolled his neck, groaning with relief as it cracked.

“Got to calm down...” Music. That always worked.

He went to the dresser to dig through a pile of CDs, quickly finding the one he wanted. He slid the disc into the stereo and skipped to the second track, only to stop the music before it started.

Jonny paused, popping his head into the hallway to make certain that no one else was home. Ewan and Jude had gone to lunch earlier and usually had no qualms about making their presence known, but still. One could never be too careful.

Satisfied that he was alone, Jonny pressed Play and cranked up the volume.

♫ I’m giving you everything / All that joy can bring / This I swear... ♫

Jonny loved the Spice Girls. He’d hidden this fact from the others in their conversations, readily commenting on the hotness of each girl and mumbling agreement on the shite quality of their music. But it wasn’t really shite, he’d decided early on, even if his mates thought it was. It was catchy, happy, fucking fun...and just what he needed right then.

The tension immediately released from his body, shoulders relaxing. He began to dance--small, tenuous motions--and turned away from the mirror, not wanting to watch himself in it. The song kicked into high gear and so did Jonny, raising his arms above his head and swaying his hips from side to side.

Ewan and Jude never walked in quietly to anywhere, both chattering away as they shut the front door behind them. They heard the music and fell silent, and Ewan was sure they had the wrong flat, but the familiar surroundings soon convinced him otherwise.

He and Jude looked at each other, both snickering as they realized at the same time what the song was and where it was coming from.

“What the absolute fuck...” Ewan fought to keep from bursting out laughing. Jude pressed a finger to his lips, nodding his head in the direction of Jonny’s room.

“Come on...” his voice was low, and Ewan followed, both he and Jude shrugging off their jackets along the way.

They tiptoed quietly down the hall, the music growing louder with each step. It was obvious Jonny hadn’t expected them to be home, which somehow made it all the more perfect. His door was wide open, giving the two men a perfect view of Jonny thrusting his pelvis in time to the beat.

Ewan couldn’t resist, placing two fingers in his mouth and letting out a loud whistle. “SHAKE THAT ARSE! GO ON!”

Jonny spun around to face his two best friends laughing uproariously in the doorway. He slammed the Stop button on the stereo with comical force, knocking over the stack of CDs on top of it. His cheeks burned red as he fought to stammer out an explanation.

“Got an audition this afternoon, I was just...yeah. What--thought you were both having lunch. What the fuck?” He glared accusingly at Ewan and Jude, neither one of them buying it.

“Oh, that is so fucking good. Had no idea you were a Spicey fan. That’s probably the best thing I’ve ever seen!” Ewan leaned against the door frame, still laughing, wiping a tear from one eye.

“I think we’re going to need an encore performance, actually. Jude, wouldn’t you agree?”

The blond man had moved past Ewan and bent down to pick up a few of Jonny’s CDs, setting them back on the dresser. Jude kept his eyes on Jonny as he stood, grinning the wicked grin Jonny had seen too many times before.

“Oh, definitely, we are.”

Ewan rubbed his hands together. “That settles it, then. You have to strip off to the Spiceys for us. Tomorrow night.”

“What?! Oh, fuck off,” Jonny scoffed. He was fine with them taking the piss, but public humiliation was a bridge too far.

“Nope, sorry.” Ewan was a pain in the ass when his mind was made up. He glanced at Jude. “Hey, maybe we should invite Sean and Rhys. Sadie, too. I’m sure they’d love a bit of quality entertainment on a Thursday evening.”

Jonny half-laughed, unable to keep the nervous edge out of his voice. “Please, man, no. Don’t. I’m serious.”

“The two of us, then. It’s your choice.” Jude crossed his arms in front of him, smirking as Jonny visibly squirmed.

Oh, now suddenly I have a choice? Right...

“Christ. Fine! I’ll do it. Only if it’s just the two of you.”

The corners of Ewan’s eyes crinkled as he smiled, victorious. Jonny was far too easy.

“Brilliant. Tomorrow night, then!” He clapped a hand on Jonny’s shoulder and disappeared into their apartment.

Jude chuckled softly, reaching out to grasp Jonny’s tie, which had gone askew as a result of his dancing. He pulled it straight, noting with mild satisfaction the heat of Jonny’s skin beneath his collar, and stepped back to admire his work.

Neither of them spoke. Jude went to leave and stopped with one foot out the door. He turned back to Jonny.

“Nice moves, mate. Really.”

The air where Jude had been felt heavy in his absence. Jonny breathed deeply as he sat on the edge of the bed, burying his head in his hands. A hundred different thoughts all laced with profanity ran through his mind, and were soon overpowered by a single, dominating one:

...What the fuck am I gonna do?

-----

The audition came and went without incident, though Jonny found he was almost too preoccupied to concentrate on his lines. That night passed similarly, intermittent bouts of sleeplessness overtaking him as he imagined the evening ahead, convinced he was about to look like a complete tosser in front of his friends.

Jonny threw on a t-shirt and stumbled blearily into the kitchen a few hours later, desperate for a strong, hot cup of tea. A very wide awake Scot bounded in soon after, much to his annoyance.

“Look who’s finally up!”

“M’ not really in the mood for a chat,” Jonny didn’t make eye contact, sighing as the first gulp of tea slid down his throat.

Ewan pulled a chair out from the small table. He drew a fag from the pack in his pocket and lit it, several locks of hair falling over his eyes as he sat down and lowered his head to meet Jonny’s gaze.

“So don’t talk, then. Just listen.”

He’d laid in bed half the night fantasizing more than he wanted to admit about Jonny’s dancing, both the day before and the night to come. Ewan basked in the discomfort emanating from the other man, the way it curled around him like smoke. He didn’t really want his friend to be tense, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

“Got you a wee present, actually. For tonight.”

Ewan produced a small white box with a well-tied satin bow on top and placed it in front of him. Jonny warily eyed the alleged gift, hesitantly setting aside his tea to open it.

Inside was a small wad of tissue paper, and resting on top, a metallic red thong.

“Oh my god...”

Jonny’s gobsmacked expression was everything Ewan could have hoped for. He clasped his cigarette between two fingers and threw his head back, a throaty laugh escaping his lips.

“Wear it.”

“You are properly out of your fucking mind if you think that’s happening.”

Ewan smiled beatifically, the sort of smile Jonny hated for how it weakened his already flaccid resolve.

“Ah, come on. You’ve got to have a big finish! Besides, Jude’ll love it.”

Jonny stiffened at the mention of their roommate. He could still feel Jude tightening his tie, the touch of the blond man’s hands setting off a pool of heat in the pit of his stomach. He glanced down at the box--where did Ewan even get this damned thing?--and bit his lower lip, contemplating the possibilities.

That little pause confirmed what Ewan already suspected. He stood up, trying not to look entirely self-satisfied, and stubbed the cigarette out in a nearby ashtray.

“Knew you’d come round. I’m off. See you tonight, Spice Boy!”

He leaned over to plant a kiss on the top of Jonny’s head, giggling as the seated man shoved him away. Ewan dashed out of the kitchen, the sound of loud singing wafting down the hall until the front door slammed shut behind him.

The cup of tea had gone cold, and Jonny wanted to be more irritated than he was.

Bastard. How the hell did he know?

Of course he knew. Ewan always bloody knew everything.

It wasn’t that he cared what Jude thought--no, certainly not--but Jude had always been the pretty one, the one who made all the girls (and a good number of the boys) weak at the knees. The thought of out-seducing the seducer and being the one to get to him for a change was too tempting to resist.

Jonny picked up the thong. He studied the ridiculous shiny red fabric for a few moments, a small smile turning up the corner of his mouth.

Fuck it...

If they wanted a show, he’d give them a show.

-----

Jude and Ewan plowed through the take-away they’d ordered for dinner in record time. Jonny was already dressed in the ensemble he’d chosen for the act. He ate slowly, cocking an eyebrow as he watched the two of them watch him take each bite. He casually brought his dish to the sink, smirking to himself before turning to face them.

“Showtime, yeah?”

The boys nearly fell over themselves getting to the living room, grabbing a few bottles of beer from the fridge for good measure. Jude and Ewan got comfortable, taking up residence on either end of the old leather couch. Jonny placed the CD in the stereo, straightening his tie and blazer and smoothing his hair in place.

Now or never...

“Ready?”

It seemed a bit silly to ask, but there was little else left to say.

“Aye, fuckin’ right, we are!” Ewan shouted, taking a swig from his bottle.

The first few seconds of the song came on and Ewan reached over to elbow Jude in the arm.

“This is going to be hilarious.”

Jonny swallowed hard, trying to remember what girls had done in the clubs they’d gone to, what qualified as being ‘sexy’ and what didn’t, and oh, bugger it--

♫ I’m giving you everything / All that joy can bring / This I swear... ♫

He dropped his hips on the first beat, swinging them from side to side as he undid his blazer and shrugged it off of one shoulder.

Ewan and Jude gasped, then hooted and cheered with approval.

“Oh, shit! YES!”

“Do it! Do it!”

Spurred on by their reactions, Jonny slid the blazer off, giving it a twirl over his head before tossing it aside. The tie was next, loosened from around his neck and dispatched in short order.

♫ But any fool can see they're falling / I gotta make you understand... ♫

He took his time with the buttons on his shirt, teasing the two men with a gradual reveal of naked skin, the edge of the Scorpio tattoo on his stomach just visible with the last few buttons still done up, waiting...

The chorus came on again and Jonny ripped the shirt off, grinning coquettishly at Jude and Ewan and curling out the tip of his long tongue invitingly.

Christ, this is actually fun, he thought as they further lost their minds, screaming excitedly and making lewd gestures in his direction.

Jonny let the shirt slide off and reached for his belt, a faint blush pinking his cheeks. The room felt significantly warmer than it had moments ago, which didn’t seem possible given his newfound lack of clothing, yet the increase in temperature was palpable.

He moved closer to the couch, one hand lazily unbuttoning the front of his trousers, his gaze flickering between them before settling on Jude. This time it was the blond man who swallowed hard, and Jonny could swear he was holding his breath. He maintained eye contact with Jude, the heat on his skin heightening further as Jude’s focus burned into him.

♫ There is no need to say you love me / It would be better left unsaid... ♫

Jonny winked, and in a single motion pulled the belt the rest of the way off, grabbing it between two hands and cracking it in midair.

“Oh, someone’s a kinky bastard, eh?” Ewan said almost too loudly, as if to remind them he was still there. He dug his fists into the couch, pushing himself up and craning his neck toward Jonny like an eager cat following the scent of meat.

...Jealous, are we?

Jonny was amused at how obvious Ewan could be, even for him. He looked over and Ewan had stopped moving, his legs splayed open as pale blue eyes stared into him.

“Come on! Give us a lap dance.”

Challenge accepted...

Jonny stood in front of Ewan, breathing deeply as he knelt over him, placing a leg on either side of his hips. He took one end of the belt in each hand and looped it around Ewan’s neck, pulling him close.

“Fuck’s sake...” Ewan’s laugh quickly became a soft gasp as Jonny ground his hips into his crotch. He was suddenly keenly aware of Jonny’s weight on him, and the warm, bare chest pressed against his body.

He slid his hands down to cup Jonny’s ass, and it was Jonny’s turn to gasp as Ewan squeezed, digging his nails into the cloth-covered flesh. Ewan closed his eyes, inhaling deeply the scent of Jonny that now seemed to be everywhere.

“Mmh...”

Jonny heard a murmur from beside them and turned to look at Jude, who was leaning an arm against the back of the couch. He rested his head in his hand as he watched them intently, entranced. Jonny began to wonder what Jude’s lap felt like, drifting off as he imagined Jude’s strong hands supporting his weight.

“Oi!”

Ewan demanded attention, indignantly bucking his hips up into Jonny, nearly sending him off balance. He opened his mouth to protest but stopped as he felt an unmistakable hardness forming in Ewan’s jeans.

Oh...

Jonny didn’t have time to wonder if he was the cause as the instrumental break in the song ended, bringing him back to his senses long enough to remember the task at hand. He climbed off of Ewan, tossed the belt aside, and stood in front of them, hooking two fingers into his waistband.

Jonny’s torso was covered in a sheen of sweat, heart pounding as he realized what he was about to do, embarrassment and arousal running together through his veins, blood rising in his face and other parts of his anatomy that soon would be on display.

He resumed dancing, slowly, achingly, thrusting his hips and pushing the waistband of his black trousers down, grey eyes never leaving Ewan and Jude, desperate to take in every second of their reactions.

Here goes something... Jonny thought, sending a quick prayer to whatever was out there.

He shoved the trousers down completely, kicking them off, revealing the pièce de résistance of the night.

“YES!”

Ewan was thoroughly pleased, his shirt pushed up and one hand tweaking his already taut nipple. The hardness from earlier had grown, filling the front of his jeans, and he kept his legs open, not bothering to hide.

“Oh my god!”

Jonny was afraid to look, convinced Jude was about to start laughing. Yet what he saw was Jude’s mouth quite literally hanging open at the sight of his best friend wearing a metallic red thong. Of greater significance, Jonny noted, was Jude cupping a hand over his own hard-on, stroking one thumb across it as he stared at him.

Feeling triumphant, Jonny lifted his arms above his head, still dancing, his breathing reduced to a series of panting gasps. He was determined to make the most out of the last few seconds of the song, turning to give Ewan and Jude a full view of his hips and ass. He spun back around as the music was dying down, the tail end drowned out by their cheers and applause as he took a bow.

Jonny collapsed into a chair perpendicular to the couch, breathless, cheeks flushed and chest hair damp with sweat. None of them moved or said anything for what seemed like an eternity, a zzzzip! sound finally breaking the silence.

Ewan had undone his jeans, his erection now on full display, one hand wrapped around it as he gazed at Jonny while stroking himself.

“Sorry, mate. You’ve got me all hot and bothered and I cannae wait.”

That Ewan was a complete exhibitionist came as no surprise to Jonny, but the rustling of fabric from Jude’s direction did. Jude had pushed his trousers down, revealing a very prominent bulge in his blue Y-fronts.

Jonny’s pulse throbbed in his ears, the rush of adrenaline from everything he’d just done coursing through him, his cock harder than he could remember it being in a long while, or at least a week. His roommates--his two best friends, for god’s sake--were equally turned on by him. Because of him.

If there was any way he anticipated the night’s events unfolding, it was surely not this.

Jude had the front of his shirt undone, a hand caressing his chest, and had started wanking himself. The shiny red thong stretched obscenely over Jonny’s own erection, and he followed suit, pushing the fabric aside.

The room was silent for several minutes, save for a few quiet groans and the sound of flesh on flesh. Jonny felt keenly aware of two sets of eyes trained on him, and slid his free hand under his scrotum. He played with his balls, moaning shamelessly, his cock twitching and hardening more knowing they were both watching.

Ewan was wanton in his pleasure, incoherent sounds soon giving way to semicoherent, stream-of-consciousness babbling, his accent growing thicker and rougher with arousal.

“So fuckin’ hot, Jonny. I kent you’d be. Want you so bad, yeah. Driving me absolutely mad. Want tae touch you, want tae feel you. Christ...”

Jonny let his head fall against the back of the chair. He closed his eyes and tightened his grip on his cock, moving his thumb over the slit, where a few drops of precum had already formed.

Flashes of images flooded his mind, of Ewan tying him up, Ewan giving him a handjob, wrapping his lips around Ewan’s cock, Ewan kissing Jude in front of him, sucking Jude while he watched, unable to touch, Jude threading a hand in Jonny’s hair and pulling roughly, biting and clawing his bare throat, Jude kissing him, Jude, Jude...

Louder moans filled the room, and Jonny realized they were coming from him. His balls tightened and raised, and he knew his climax was approaching fast. He opened his eyes and looked over at Jude, his erection curved against his tanned stomach, green eyes darkened with lust, and it took everything in Jonny not to come right then and there.

“Gonna fuckin’ come, boys. So close...so close...” Ewan hissed, skin twitching as he drank in the sight of Jonny slumped back in the chair. Jonny’s lips were parted, letting out the most irresistible high-pitched mewling noises as he jerked off feverishly.

“Fuck...FUCK!”

Ewan’s hips bucked up hard, a long, loud groan spilling out of him as he came, streaks of cum landing on his chest, shoulder, and cheek. He lowered his eyes to Jonny, darting his tongue out to lick away a few droplets, and Jonny’s stomach clenched at the deliciously filthy sight.

“Jesus Christ...” Jonny’s voice was barely above a hoarse whisper.

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard the sultry call of his own name from Jude.

“Jon...” Jude panted, long lashes falling over his eyes.

“I can’t...oh, fuck...fucking hell...”

Visions of Jonny raced through his mind, lovely and writhing beneath him, surrounding him like hot velvet, and he thrashed from side to side as he came. Jude’s hand stilled on his cock, his mouth falling open in an ‘O’ as spurt after spurt shot out onto the flat plane of his stomach.

Whatever tiny shred of self-control Jonny had vanished, and he threw his head back as his orgasm overtook him.

“Ungh...UNGH! Ahh!“

The heat of his climax was searing, brighter than anything he could remember feeling before, tingling in his toes and rushing like lightning up his spine. Jonny’s back arched, hips nearly raised off the chair as cum coated his hand, his stomach, and all over the shiny, red fabric.

That’s gonna be a bitch to clean out... he thought for no apparent reason, laughing to himself before slumping back into the chair, trying to regain feeling in his feet and hands.

The sound of shallow breaths lessened as they all came down, Ewan being the first to return to normal.

“Well, I’m havin’ a shower. You two sticky wankers can wait your turn.”

He got up and peeled his shirt and kecks fully off, tossing them on the couch as he stretched.

“Mind the cushions, yeah?!” Jonny chided him. It was going to be difficult enough getting the red thong cleaned, let alone the ridiculous idea of hauling a whole sofa down to the launderette.

Ewan laughed at Jonny’s petulance, grabbing his clothes and nearly skipping over to him, one arm pressed against the back of the chair as he leaned close to Jonny’s face.

“Cheers for the show. You were brilliant. In no small part due to my incredibly thoughtful last minute gift, of course.”

Jonny rolled his eyes and scoffed, any rebuttal he’d formulated abruptly silenced by Ewan covering Jonny’s mouth with his own in an appreciative kiss. He pressed his forehead to Jonny’s.

“Mmh. More later, yeah?” Ewan whispered, caressing a thumb over the seated man’s lips. Jonny nodded.

Ewan stood back up, turning to grin at Jude, slapping him on the leg.

“That better have been me you were thinking about shagging!”

“You bloody wish,” Jude shouted after Ewan, who’d already disappeared down the hall into the loo.

Jude shook his head and laughed, then looked over at Jonny. Neither man said anything for a moment, enjoying the warm silence.

“Ah, I’d better get sorted then, too.” He pushed himself up by his arms, grunting as the muscles in his lower back came to life.

Jude removed his shirt, slinging it over one arm. He strode over to Jonny and knelt down slightly, circling a hand around the back of Jonny’s head and pulling him close.

Jonny watched Jude’s mouth, lips so close he could taste them, not wanting to speak for fear of breaking the spell. Jude kissed him then, and Jonny opened his mouth eagerly, sighing as Jude’s tongue massaged his own.

Jude reluctantly ended the kiss a few moments later, both men fighting for air. He glanced down at Jonny’s softening cock and the mess in his lap, the red thong now looking a bit worse for the wear.

“I hope you’re gonna keep that thing around, it’s too good not to,” Jude breathed against Jonny’s lips.

Jonny smiled, wanting nothing more than to kiss Jude again.

“Oh, I will, I will. All for you, Jude. Always.”

Jude reached out a hand to pinch Jonny’s nipple, then withdrew, winking at Jonny before sauntering out of the room.

Exhaustion finally set in, and Jonny forced himself to get out of the chair, knowing full well that if he fell asleep that way, Ewan and Jude would take pictures and scatter them around the flat at their next party.

He shoved the red thong down, not at all fazed by the fact that he was standing stark naked in their living room--which twenty-four hours earlier seemed unfathomable--and wiped himself off with it, tossing it on top of his other clothes.

Turns out a little public humiliation is good for the soul.

Jonny stalked off to the kitchen for a snack, thinking of all the ways he could get Ewan to scrub cum stains out of leather upholstery.

#jonny lee miller #ewan mcgregor #jude law #elementary #sherlock holmes #ink broadway #spice girls #brainy british thirst trap #fanfic #RPF #writing #these men are going to kill me

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