#mensch behavior

[copperbadge]

Hey Sam - you've posted about Elf on a Shelf a few times. Have you ever heard of Mensch on a Bench? I just saw one today for the first time, and it seemed like it would appeal to you.

I don’t know if I’ve ever posted about it -- I’ve seen it in stores the last couple of years, usually on the Designated Hanukkah Endcap at Target, but I don’t think I’ve ever like, engaged with the narrative. 

Checking the website, the Mensch doesn’t seem to have the Holiday Police State bent that Elf on the Shelf (and, lately, Peep On A Perch) does, and is more about teaching good behavior than monitoring for bad. Speaking as a gentile considering conversion, that falls in line with my studies of Judaism to date. And the storybook that he comes with is all about the historic roots of Hanukkah, which is nice.

But much more importantly CHECK OUT THE MITZVAH MOOSE

HE’S GOT CHANUKIANTLERS. 

It’s interesting because I do get the sense that this is poking gentle fun at Elf on the Shelf in specific and the christianized culture’s obsession with making Hanukkah a big deal in general, but it also is clearly very in earnest about providing Jewish kids with fun educational toys that come attached to pretty positive life lessons. 

[donewithcapitalistfrayers]

If neither socialists who reject the nationalist and religious aspects of Diaspora Judaism nor Zionists who reject its universal and humanist dimensions (and often its religious aspects as well) are Jews, then the real debate is over which tradition has retained the best of their common Jewish heritage. Despite their constant chatter about Jews, I would maintain that it is Zionism that has least in common with Judaism. It is not by breaking the limbs of Palestinian youth that the Jewish sages of the past predicted our people would "become a light onto the nations". In Israel today---where "tsadik" (righteous person) and "mensch" (decent one) apply only to a few who are spat on by the great majority of the population, and "chutzpah" has come to mean the defense of the indefensible, there is little to remind us of the moral core of a once noble tradition.

When I was growing up, my Yiddish speaking mother would often try to correct some aberrant behavior on my part by warning that it was a "shandeh fur die goyim" (that I would be shaming not only me and my family but all Jews in front of the gentiles). What I want to cry out loudest in front of all the crimes of Zionism, and all those who try to defend them, is that what they are doing is a "shandeh fur die goyim". They themselves, the big cheeses and the small fry, are all a "shandeh fur die goyim". (Ma, I remember). Socialist and ex-Jew that I am, I guess I still have too much respect and love for the Jewish tradition I left behind to want the world to view it in the same way as they rightly view and condemn what the ex-Jews who call themselves Zionists are doing in its name. And if changing my status from ex-Jew (current) to non-Jew (projected) stirs even ten good people (God’s “minyan”) into action against the Zionist hijacking of the Jewish label, then this is a sacrifice I am ready to make.

To those who wonder why the resignation of an atheistic communist from the Jewish people might bother some Jews, I would just point out that the greatest sin a Jew can commit – I was taught this from all sides – is to take leave of his people (usually by converting to another faith). A family will often respond by “sitting shivah” over the offending member (treating him or her as dead). The deep shame and anger that many Jews feel when this happens is hard to explain, but it probably has something to do with the intense quality of the social bond that unites all Jews, the result originally, no doubt, of being God’s chosen but also of sharing and surviving so many centuries of oppression. While a Christian relates to God as an individual, the Jew’s relation to God has always passed through his connection to the chosen people, a people that God also holds collectively responsible for the failures of each of its members. Operating with such an incentive, Jews could never allow themselves the luxury of indifference when it came to the life choices of their co-religionists. With a little Jewish education, this inner connection becomes so ingrained that even some atheist and communist Jews may experience the defection of a Jew from the people as losing a limb from their own body. Certainly, my continuing identification as a Jew, as some kind of a Jew, while lacking any of the attributes of a believer, helps explain why I felt an overpowering need to resign when “Jew” came to mean something I could not accept (or ignore). And the same organic tie may help explain why some Jews, including those of whom I am most critical and who might be expected to rejoice at my resignation, may get so upset by the form that my criticism has taken.

[welcometomy20s]

June 30, 2021

Coco (and Lulu’s) Legacy

Coco wrote the book on how to be a Hololive member, from front to back. She plotted out how one can amass an audience, how to interact and build a worldwide fandom, how to integrate ideas of the audience to the grand narrative of the company, how to deal with tee-tee and pairings, how to cope when YouTube strikes you down in its impunity, and how to cope when Cancel Brigade comes to destroy your work, along with how to bring a more cohesive workplace, how to protect yourself from the unmooring of identity that is inherent in VTube, and finally how to leave when you are in a rollercoaster that is only going up. Coco wrote the book and now we follow.

AsaCoco was brilliant from its outset. Having a place to know the ins and outs of various members of Hololive was a great way to connect the rabbit hole. But there is a deeper reason for the brilliance. I talked before about how the major tension in VTube is one between the corporate back-end tradition of Japan colliding with the audience front-end tradition of YouTube. AsaCoco is something directly in line with that second tradition. The visual language of YouTube is different from those of movies. A jump cut in a movie denotes a different idea than a jump cut on YouTube. Movie critic complaining about jump cuts in vlogs is like a Spanish reader complaining about a sentence in English being awkward. Of course it is, it’s in a different language. Unlike movies, which come from theatre and literature, vlogs’ lineage comes from news broadcasts. Many of the early web successes were styled in a news format (rocketboom, Ze Frank, What the Buck and so on…) One does not complain about the jump cut between different presenters in a newscast, and so one does not complain when a similar thing happens in vlogs. But the point is that AsaCoco harkens to the audience-based tradition.

One might write off the ARK arc as an aberration, but I think ARK did add something constructive to Hololive and VTubers as a whole. I like to think of ARK as a training wheel for Minecraft. Minecraft is relatively challenging compared to ARK. Minecraft speedruns are mildly impressive, ARK speedrun less so. ARK is actually like the middle ground between Monster Hunter and Minecraft. You can play ARK like Monster Hunter, gather a bunch of friends to hunt monsters, or like Minecraft, build your own zoo or house or so on… And in that flexibility, one can easily learn how to tell a compelling narrative in an open-world setting. Pekora’s war criminal tendencies developed there, Miko’s ‘pon’ nature was crystalized there, and so on…

Holohouse was an underrated achievement. At first, the idea feels like the natural extension of their idol nature. Idols live together, so why not virtual idols? But having virtual idols living together comes with additional benefits that Nijisanji should note.

Stalking is an awful thing, I know since I experienced and have done something similar in my past, but stalking is also a desperate thing. And desperation tends to abate when people are more open about themselves. One of the articles talking about Coco’s graduation infamously notes the mystery of Coco’s identity, which is chucklesome since Coco’s identity might be the most open secret in all of Hololive. This was in line with Hololive’s more open policy, several of Hololive members do their own personal work on the side, while in many early companies, this was forbidden. Nijisanji’s background is less open than Hololive, perhaps due to the number and less mass attention, and that leads to stalking being a more adventurous one. One that livers have to deal with more alone, while for Hololive, it’s likely people would catch and perhaps even tar the perpetrator. More attention means more risk with less excitement.

Holohouse also protects aggressive fan behavior by introducing VTuber solidarity. With more offline collabs, the people would know each other more personally and therefore have a ground of contacts in which to alert suspicious behavior. Safety in numbers.

Holohouse also brought us KanaCoco, which was a lesser known pairing until the couple ring story, and now it has become one of three big couples of Hololive, the other two being NoeFlare and OkaKoro. The big three all have a different style of their tee tee. KanaCoco is the type of a longtime buddy. Both Kanata and Coco struggled with familial and economic circumstances, and they are both struggling under the same roof. And within that struggle comes comity and friendship. It’s not love in your typical sense, but it is a type that would lead to marriage and childrens… but the current LBGTQ+ status in Japan is pretty bad, so tee tee and hush hush it is.

In a sense, KanaCoco provides for an excellent cover. It is one of the most inspiring portrayals of woman-woman friendships in media and it would be one of the more enduring aspect of Coco’s legacy as it passes down through the generations.

[Note: This somehow became an apologia of the past week. Well, I do like to show my thinking with my behavior, perhaps to my detriment, so… just be warned.]

For the past week, I was hyping about the fact that Gura passed Kizuna Ai to become the most-subscribed VTuber. And I made the point, not through immaturity, but because I realized this coincided with Coco’s graduation. Without Coco, there wouldn’t be Hololive English, or Gawr Gura, and therefore this event would not have happened. This, therefore, was one of the last great accomplishments of Coco. An indelible mark of her foresight and perseverance. A realization of her plans. So, in a sense, this was one of my ways of celebrating Coco’s career, albeit in an admittedly twisted way.

But beyond Hololive English, there was the famous Meme Review, which has a weak lineage with the early meme review series from PewDiePie. Now for the digression, whoever ends up at the top gives us a flavor for that specific era, since one naturally assumes success means finesse and would try to emulate the style. Vlogbrother’s visual style and mannerism was largely lifted from Ze Frank. PBS Idea Channel famously emulated Ray William Johnson’s background to his own ends. And Kizuna Ai was famously inspired by PewDiePie at several points in her career. Which is why PewDiePie’s Congratulations felt right as a tribute. One of the big shared characteristics of the two was the lonely years at the top. PewDiePie is probably going to be longest reigning ‘King’ of YouTube for a while (of course, depends on if Cocomelon catches T-Series in due time) and at the time his reign was abnormally long. Most people hold onto the top spot for a year or two, so it felt odd that PewDiePie was untouchable for so long. Similar things must have been raised for Kizuna Ai as well. Many people must have felt that Kizuna Ai just did not represent VTubers at the current time.

So, when competition showed up, of course people were excited. It felt like it was time. I believe PewDiePie’s Congratulations was not a simple diss track, although it’s formatted like one, just due to the culture at the time. So the hypothetical Kizuna Ai version would be extremely light-hearted. The ‘diss’ would be your typical “she’s short”, “she’s hydrodynamic” and so on… it would be clear there is no actual bad blood, and the song would be welcoming of the new era. Era, as I said before, brought on by Coco.

Back to the Meme Review, meme review was great as it centered reddit as the base for the fandom, rather than twitter, which is a horrible platform to bring a sense of communal welcomeness. Reddit is probably the best functional place for stuff like this, even though we all know it has its host of problems that needs to be resolved.

What is the most important stream in Hololive? Well, some people would point to Aqua and Coco’s The Raft stream, which is a poignant encapsulation of a stream. The dramatic counterweight to the other greatest stream in Hololive, Korone’s all-english Mario stream. Aqua and Coco are always the odd pairing, but it could have worked, and it might have been beneficial. Aqua is one of the most shy people in Hololive, and Mio is already busy with Ayame and Subaru, so the best person might have been Coco.

But China. There were two big beneficiaries from China in Hololive, one was Fubuki and the other was Aqua. While Fubuki, in Coco’s last months, famously went out of her way to intertwine herself with Coco to directly redirect her audience, like the mensch she is, Aqua always struggled with her audience retention, therefore played shy with Coco.

Edit: Well, my initial final impression was… what a wonderful finish. The interview portion was well-meant, but honestly a little formal. When the 4th Gen went together, is when the stream turned into something special for me, and the final performance was actually really well-done. Coco went out like an idol, which makes sense. For whatever provocation Coco perpetuated, Coco only did them out of love. And ultimately Cover knew that. Coco’s final month was a warning and a reminder.

Can I talk about all the different tributes lately? In some sense, Usaken Summer Festival is part of this… for an organization that is immensely popular, I just adore how Cover and their talent always has this drive to throw everything and see if it works. I noticed this during Golden Week. Golden Week in Hololive was jam packed. There were great events, Mio’s morning stream was astounding, leading to one of biggest growth spurt for Mio. Miko’s drawing collab was absolutely hilarious, for such a simple and seemingly hastily put idea. One of the people in a forum commented on this and affixed something that left my mind… what did Nijisanji during the same week? Even I was surprised by how little Nijisanji did that Golden week. They barely did anything!

The innovative spirit does give them trouble, more than it is worth, but Cover never really stopped its momentum, even when most other companies would have stopped a long time ago! This is the greatest thing about Hololive and Cover, the most redeeming feature. One that would serve them well. Coco wrote the playing book, let us pray that Cover sticks to them, because the fall of Cover comes the moment they stray.

The Pre-Coco era was about a company struggling to get their idea through. The Coco era was about writing the playing book. So the Post-Coco era will be about remembrance, it’ll be a struggle to keep the memory of what the playing book is. It’ll be about them being Hololive as they become part of the global zeitgeist.

[aktivistaverein]

AktivistA 2021 - die Konferenz-Rückschau, Teil 2

Literatur-Vorgeschmack

Nach der Essenspause gab es einen kleinen literarischen Teil. Ich stellte kurz ein Projekt von DasTenna und mir vor. Für die Ace Week Ende Oktober ist eine Sammlung Kurzgeschichten als E-Buch und Print geplant. „Beweisstück A. Eine a_sexuelle Anthologie“ soll das Buch heißen. Die Erlöse gehen an 100 % Mensch. Warum ausgerechnet die? Holger Edmaier und sein Team hatten Asexualität schon auf dem Schirm, als wir noch gar nicht wussten, dass es diese Organisation gibt.

Danach wurde es intersektional: Aus Göttingen war Jessica von Bi+ Göttingen angereist.

Von Bi+enchen und Eulchen/Asexu-Owls im Queeren Beet: A- & Bisexuelle Spektren im Visier

Zunächst fand eine Begriffsklärung statt. Was bedeutet Bisexualität?

Hier zitierte Jessica Robyn Ochs: „I call myself bisexual because I acknowledge that I have in myself the potential to be attracted – romantically and/or sexually – to people of more than one gender, not necessarily at the same time, not necessarily in the same way, and not necessarily to the same degree.“ – Ich beschreibe mich als bisexuell, weil ich anerkenne, dass ich in mir das Potential habe, romantisch und/oder sexuell zu Menschen mehr als eines Geschlechts hingezogen zu sein. Dies muss nicht notwendigerweise zur gleichen Zeit, nicht notwendigerweise auf die gleiche Art und nicht notwendigerweise zum gleichen Grad stattfinden.“ (Übersetzung von Carmilla.)

Und was macht dann das Pluszeichen hinter dem Bi?

Neben „Bisexualität“ sind einige andere Begriffe im Umlauf, die von der Gender-Binarität wegführen, die das Wort „Bisexuell“ seit seiner Erfindung mit herumschleppt.

Pansexuell meint Anziehung unabhängig vom Geschlecht.

Omnisexuell meint Anziehung zu allen Geschlechtern.

Polysexuell meint Anziehung zu mehreren, aber nicht allen Geschlechtern.

Das AIB-Modell

Manchmal benutzen Menschen eine Selbstbeschreibung, die nicht vollständig zu ihrem gerade sichtbaren Verhalten passt. So ist eine bisexuelle Frau, die mit einem Mann in einer monogamen Beziehung lebt, immer noch bisexuell. Oder es gibt Menschen, die gelegentlich mit Menschen Sex haben, die nicht zu ihrer Selbstbeschreibung als homo- oder heterosexuell passen, die sich aber nicht als bisexuell beschreiben würden. Oder Aroaces, die in einer von außen als romantisch gelesenen Partnerschaft leben. Und so weiter.

Nach dem AIB-Modell werden drei Aspekte betrachtet: A (Attraction, Anziehung) – I (Identity, Identität) – B (Behavior, Verhalten).

Somit lässt eine Selbstbeschreibung (Identität) niemals Rückschlüsse auf exakte Anziehungen oder auf das Verhalten zu. Natürlich verpflichtet auch eine Selbstbeschreibung nicht zu einem gewissen Verhalten. Und ein bestimmtes Verhalten lässt weder Rückschlüsse auf eine Selbstbeschreibung zu, noch verpflichtet es zu einer vorgeblich besser passenden Selbstbeschreibung.

Vorurteile und Ursachen?

Es folgte ein kleines Quiz. Wir bekamen ein Blatt mit acht Vorurteilen und sollten raten, ob die eher zum bi+ oder zum asexuellen Spektrum gehörten. Das Ganze war natürlich eine Falle, denn alle genannten Einwände waren sowohl in bi+ als auch in ace Bullshit-Bingos zu finden.

Woran liegt es, dass uns als vermeintliche „sexuelle Gegenteile“ so viel gleiche Sprüche treffen?

Zum einen ist weder das bi+ noch das ace Spektrum eindeutig mit einem Bild zu symbolisieren. Wir können nicht einfach zwei dieser typischen Toilettenschild-Schattenrisse mit oder ohne Rock nebeneinander montieren, um auf unser Paarbildungsverhalten hinzuweisen.

Jessica vermutet, dass „Spektren“ auch insgesamt mit „schlecht entscheidungsfähig“ gleichgesetzt werden. Der deutsche Drang zu eindeutigen Kategorien scheint uns außerdem noch zusätzliche Steine in den Weg zu legen, die beispielsweise in den USA seltener wahrgenommen werden.

Eine „Weigerung, sich (für eine Schublade) zu entscheiden“ lässt sich zu „labil, schlechter Charakter, unfertig“ steigern. Eine solche Person gilt dann auch als beziehungsunfähig.

Gerade auch Menschen im bi+ Spektrum werden zudem als unersättlich oder übersexualisiert wahrgenommen. (Ich verweise auf Mc Innis und Hodson, 2012. Nach dieser Studie werden bi- und asexuelle Menschen tendenziell eher dehumanisiert als hetero- und homosexuelle Menschen.)

„Unfertigkeit“ ist natürlich ein Vorurteil, das auch Betroffene verinnerlichen, sodass sich sowohl ace als auch bi+ Menschen sehr häufig selbst hinterfragen.

Zuletzt werden beide Spektren innerhalb der lesbischen und schwulen Communities oft als „nicht queer (genug)“ wahrgenommen. Bi+ Menschen und Aces könnten als „straight“/hetero durchgehen und hätten deshalb weniger Schwierigkeiten.

Somit haben das B und das A sowohl von innerhalb als auch von außerhalb der queeren Buchstabensuppe ähnliche Vorurteile auszuhalten. Permanent werden Zweifel an sie herangetragen.

Verbündete suchen

Gegen diese Wucht von Schwierigkeiten hilft nur, sich zusammenzuschließen. Zum einen natürlich innerhalb der eigenen „Buchstaben“. Der Austausch untereinander fördert das Selbstbewusstsein und die Gewissheit, dass die Zweifel System haben. „Ihr seid nicht allein“ ist hier die wichtigste Botschaft.

Zum anderen können sich Gruppen unterschiedlicher Buchstaben miteinander vernetzen. Wir können uns gegenseitig als Allys unterstützen. Wie mit diesem Vortrag geschehen und in Stuttgart dank einer Anfrage von StuBi 2017 schon länger praktiziert.

Bi+ Göttingen bietet übrigens auch einen Vortrag zum Thema „Allyship“ (Verbündetenschaft) an. Ihr findet die Gruppe unter anderem auf Facebook und bei Instagram.

Ausklang ...

Am Samstag haben es einige Menschen bis 23 Uhr ausgehalten, und auch am Sonntag wurde der Raum zum Gespräch rege genutzt.

[introvertguide]

The Apartment (1960); AFI #80

The next film on the list that we reviewed was the one of the last black and white films to win best picture, The Apartment (1960). The film actually held the title of last B&W Best Picture winner for 50 years until The Artist came along in in 2011. Along with Best Picture, the film was nominated for 10 Oscars and won Best Director, Best Screenplay, Best Art Direction, and Best Editing. The film also won Best Picture from the Golden Globes, the BAFTAs, the Director’s Guild Awards, and the Critic’s Circle Awards. Truly a great synthesis of acting, directing, cinematography, music, and story, this movie is one of the lesser known greatest films of all time. I have more to say about this film, but I want to go over the story in all of its excellence. But first...

SPOILER ALERT!!! THIS COMEDY HAS LEGITIMATE SURPRISES AND SUBJECT MATTER THAT WOULDN’T FLY TODAY!!! TRULY A GREAT FILM THAT NEEDS TO BE SEEN!!! I STRONGLY SUGGEST WATCHING IT INSTEAD OF JUST READING THE STORY LINE!!!

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An opening run of establishing shots with a voice over by the main character lets the audience know that he is a drone accountant at a giant firm with little chance to move up in the world. C.C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon) is a lonely office drudge at a national insurance corporation in New York City. He has lucked out and found a way to leverage his home in order to climb the corporate ladder. Baxter allows four company managers to take turns borrowing his Upper West Side apartment for their extramarital liaisons, which he manages with a detailed schedule. Baxter has not seen any movement, but he is constantly offered the promise of a promotion since he is a “team player.” 

One of the serious down sides of this ploy is that his apartment is in constant use and the bosses are making a mess and drinking all his liquor. C.C. has no place to go some nights so he stays and works late. Because C.C. is constantly going in and out and people can hear women in his apartment, he is starting to develop a different kind of reputation with the other tenants. While unable to enter his own apartment when it is in use, his neighbors assume that their neighbor is a playboy bringing home a different woman every night.

C.C. is able to get glowing performance reports from his four managers and he is able to submit them to the personnel director, Jeff D. Sheldrake (Fred MacMurray), in hope of a promotion. Sheldrake promises to promote him, but demands that he also receive use of the apartment for his own affairs, beginning that night. As compensation for such short notice, he gives Baxter two theater tickets to The Music Man. After work, C.C. asks Fran Kubelik (Shirley MacLaine), an elevator operator in the office building, to go to the musical with him. She agrees but goes first to meet with a "former fling," who turns out to be Sheldrake, and let him know there will be no more meetings. When Sheldrake dissuades her from breaking up with him and promising to divorce his wife for her, they go to the apartment as poor Baxter waits forlornly outside the theater.

Later, at the company's raucous Christmas party (there is dancing on the tables and the lamest strip tease of all time), Fran is told by Miss Olsen (Edie Adams), Sheldrake's secretary, that Sheldrake has also had affairs with her and other women employees. Later at Baxter’s apartment, Fran confronts Sheldrake with his lies. Sheldrake maintains that he genuinely loves her, but that he has no intention of splitting up with his wife. He then leaves to return to his suburban family as usual and Fran is so depressed that she finds sleeping pills in the apartment bathroom and attempts suicide.

Baxter learns through finding a dropped hand mirror that Fran is the woman Sheldrake has been taking to his apartment, so he goes to a bar and lets himself be picked up by a married woman. When they arrive at his apartment, he is shocked to find Fran in his bed, seemingly dead. He sends his pick-up away and enlists the help of his neighbor, Dr. Dreyfuss (Jack Krushen), to revive Fran without notifying the authorities. I should not laugh, but it is pretty funny that the doctor goes straight to slapping Fran in the face to wake her up. The actors did not hold back; he is slapping her in the face really hard, so much so that you can tell her cheeks are reddening even in black and white. Baxter makes Dreyfuss believe that he was the cause of the incident and, scolding his neighbor for his apparent philandering, Dreyfuss advises him to "be a mensch, a human being."

As Fran spends two days recuperating in the apartment, C.C. takes care of her, and a bond develops between them, especially after he confesses to having attempted suicide himself over unrequited feelings for a woman who now sends him a fruitcake every Christmas. While they play a game of gin rummy, Fran reveals that she has always suffered bad luck in her love life. As Baxter prepares a romantic dinner, one of the managers arrives with a woman. Although Baxter persuades them to leave, the manager recognizes Fran and informs his colleagues. Later confronted by Fran's brother-in-law, Karl Matuschka, who is looking for her, the managers direct Karl to the apartment out of jealousy. At the apartment, Karl's anger at Fran for her behavior is deflected by Baxter, who again takes responsibility. Karl punches C.C. (and interviews with Lemmon revealed that the punch did land), but when Fran kisses him for protecting her, he just smiles and says it "didn't hurt a bit."

Sheldrake learns that Miss Olsen told Fran about his affairs, so he makes the poor choice of firing the woman who knows of all his dealings, and she retaliates by meeting with Sheldrake's wife, who promptly throws her husband out. Sheldrake believes that this situation just makes it easier to pursue his affair with Fran. Having promoted C.C. to an even higher position, which also gives him a key to the executive washroom, Sheldrake expects Baxter to loan out his apartment yet again. Baxter gives him back the washroom key instead, proclaiming that he has decided to become a mensch, and quits the firm.

That night at a New Year's Eve party, Sheldrake indignantly tells Fran what happened. Realizing she is in love with Baxter, Fran abandons Sheldrake and runs to the apartment. At the door, she hears what sounds like a gunshot. Fearing that Baxter has attempted suicide again, she frantically pounds on the door. Baxter answers, holding a bottle of champagne whose cork he had just popped in celebration of his plan to start anew. As the two settle down to resume their gin rummy game, Fran tells C.C. that she is now free too. When he asks about Sheldrake, she replies, "We'll send him a fruitcake every Christmas." He declares his love for her, and she replies, "Shut up and deal."

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This film is one of the most praised movies of all time, but it is not one of the most generally well known. This is probably due to the subject matter, although It’s A Wonderful Life also deals with suicide and is one of the America’s most popular family films. The problem is most likely that extra marital affairs by big company management as a normal thing was highly frowned upon. With the whole #MeToo movement, it seems that this kind of philandering culture might very well have been a known problem for decades. A movie based around the premise that office managers need a nice place to have sex with secretaries and elevator girls would not have been acceptable under the Hays Code. This is also the second film on the AFI list where Fred MacMurray plays a bad guy before being the understanding patriarch on My Three Sons and the first person honored as a Disney Legend in 1987. Fun fact, MacMurray was an uncredited extra in a film called Girls Gone Wild in 1929.

Billy Wilder knew that this was going to be a divisive film due to content, but he also had the confidence that everything would work out following the massive success of his previous film, Some Like It Hot. Wilder had considered a film based on adultery back in the 1940s but was unable to get funding at the time due to the Hays Code. The film was also based on a real life Hollywood drama in which an agent was shot by a producer over an affair (in which a low level employee apartment was used) as well as a friend of a co-writer who returned home to a dead ex-girlfriend following a break-up. 

It is amazing to think that this film is described as a comedy. There are office politics in which mid-level managers use local celeb status to take advantage of their subordinates. There are half a dozen cheating husbands that string along their affairs. There are characters so hurt that they would rather die than deal with what is done with them. There are raging parties at work where everyone gets massively drunk and dance on the desks. Women are treated like objects that either need to be protected with violence or thrown away. And yet the film is legitimately fun with characters that are worth rooting for.

Some of the success rides on the fabulous acting of Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine and the witty dialogue written by I.A.L. Diamond. In fact, the dialogue and limited characters feels a lot like a stage play, which come to fruition in the form of Promises, Promises on Broadway by Burt Bacharach, Hal David, and Neil Simon. Dealing with real sets and locations, however, resulted in some colds and sickness since the actors were really out in the New York snow. Some other realism in the film came from both lead actors taking blows for the film: Shirley MacLaine got proper slapped by the doctor and Jack Lemmon was really punched by the brother-in-law.

A stand out aspect for me in this film which I talk up quite a bit is the cinematography. I have used many screen grabs from the film and used them as my avatar. I identify with the feeling of being used for something which made a mid manager look good while allowing them to do bad things. In fact, I am sure that everyone has felt like a Baxter at some point, and it is great to see him stand up for himself. Here are a couple of screen grabs (besides the top photo above) that I have used:

That lonely man in the middle of countless empty desks, that look of frustration when others are using your things to live a better life than you, and that time that love makes utility become fun and gadgets seem pretentious. It is very easy for me to get lost in how much I love this film. It has been far and away my favorite find from the AFI Top 100 between when I first saw the film in 2014 and now.

So, should the film be on the top 100 list? It has the awards and the history along with being a fantastic film. Of course it belongs on the list. Would I recommend it? Yes. This film is the type that makes people like me want to go through lists like this. I had never heard of the film in 2014 and it floored me how good it was. Each time I watch I appreciate it more, and the whole film project becomes well worth my time and effort. This film is so good, it affirms my life choices. I invite and implore you to check it out for yourself.

[babbushka]

For the f/o flower ask can I get iris, and peony? Hope you're having a wonderful Wednesday sleepover Mrs. Z!💞

Thank you so much for asking! I hope you're having a wonderful evening too! :)

iris: compliment Flip, and share a compliment that they have given to you.

My compliment to Flip is that he's such a dependable person, like ugh what a mensch!! If you need Flip to do something, he will do it. If you need him to be somewhere, he will be there. He's one of those people who will never let you down, no matter what. If it's in his scope of ability, he's going to come through.

Flip often compliments my strong moral compass. I'm the kind of person that speaks up when something's not right, and I'm loud about it. I hold very firm convictions and I don't budge on them. Helping people, doing what's right, fighting and working for justice drive me every day, and for Flip, who is such an introspective, reserved kind of guy, finds that very impressive lol.

peony: tell us about a moment where you or Flip were very embarrassed.

Oof well one time my Mr Zimmerman and I were caught engaging in xxx rated behavior by his mother. That was a uhhhhh really uncomfortable and embarrassing moment, especially because she pulled me aside the next day and asked how it was!!

[esperwatchesfilms]

The Apartment (1960)

I love the fact that this movie from 1960 effectively tells the audience, “People are using this dude’s apartment for sexual encounters.” Without you seeing any sexual encounters taking place. The concept is already interesting as heck.

This man seriously needs to learn how to say no to folks, though.

“Good luck! And wipe your nose.”

Why is this guy such a freak? “I know everything about you! I SNOOPED THROUGH YOUR FILE AND FOUND OUT EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU, AREN’T I CHARMING?” And why does she find it charming!? Ew!

And who the hell gives a shit what this guy likes?!

Imagine missing The Music Man because some married idiot wants to take you to some dude’s apartment to have sex with you. Come on, Fran. THE MUSIC MAN. 

J.D. Sheldrake: Ya know, you see a girl a couple of times a week, just for laughs, and right away they think you're gonna divorce your wife. Now I ask you, is that fair? C.C. Baxter: No, sir, it's very unfair... Especially to your wife.

“Just because I wear a uniform doesn't make me a girl scout.”

Poor Fran. Sheldrake’s a twat. I hate him.

“Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.”

Oh, god. That line was... oof. TOO REAL, FRAN!

Me every single day. Oh my god.

This man literally breaks this girl’s heart and then says, “Here, have $100. Buy yourself something nice.”

OHP! Trigger warning, folks. This one has a suicide attempt in it! 1960, wow!

“The worst part is I still love him.”

Poor Fran. I want to hug the hell out of her.

Fran Kubelik: Would you mind opening the window? C.C. Baxter: Now don't go getting any ideas, Miss Kubelik. Fran Kubelik: I just want some fresh air. C.C. Baxter: It's only one story down. The best you can do is break a leg. Fran Kubelik: So they'll shoot me - like a horse. C.C. Baxter: Please, Miss Kubelik, you got to promise me you won't do anything foolish. Fran Kubelik: Who'd care? C.C. Baxter: I would. Fran Kubelik: Why can't I ever fall in love with someone nice like you?

This guy seriously left this girl alone in his apartment after this whole mess?! TO TALK ON THE PHONE WITH THE REASON SHE TRIED TO KILL HERSELF!?

OH, AND WAY TO TELL HER SHE’S CHILDISH FOR TRYING TO KILL HERSELF! I HATE YOU, SHELDRAKE. I HOPE YOU GET MURDERED.

“Some people take, some people get took. And they know they're getting took and there's nothing they can do about it.”

One should always cook with a tennis racket as a strainer. Makes sense.

“Ya know, I used to live like Robinson Crusoe; I mean, shipwrecked among 8 million people. And then one day I saw a footprint in the sand, and there you were.”

YOU ONLY WANT HER BECAUSE YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU!? SHELDRAKE, YOU’RE THE WORST PIECE OF GARBAGE!

She thought he shot himself in the knee again. That’s adorable. She’s adorable.

C.C. Baxter: You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you. Fran Kubelik: Shut up and deal...

ESE: 95/100

50 +2 for “wobbly dentures” +5 for young Shirley MacLaine +10 for Fran telling someone off for sexually harassing her -15 for this weird stalker behavior of looking up everything about this person he has a crush on and then telling her he knows everything about her, like her SSN and that she had her appendix out. +10 for honesty +15 for excellent writing -5 for mishandling vinyl +5 for “Be a mensch!” +3 for the $100 in the envelope -10 for Sheldrake +5 for calling Baxter “Nurse” +5 for forehead-kissing the fool +10 for ditching Sheldrake

[mate1959]

2021-08-20

Fussball. Ich habe vor ein paar Tagen versprochen, darauf zurückzukommen. Eine Geschichte für sich. Schon drei Tage nach der ersten Chemotherapie war ich wieder im Stadion. Ich war zwar nachher total fertig, aber gewonnen ist gewonnen. Nun findet morgen das Zürcher Derby gegen die Grasshoppers statt. Ich bin froh, dass meine Ärztin in den Ferien ist und so die zweite Chemo auf nächsten Montag verschoben wurde. So kann ich das Derbyfieber ausleben, bevor es wieder ernst wird.

Was ist es denn eigentlich mit dem Fussball? Vernünftige, kritische und intelligente Menschen jubeln Jünglingen zu, manche davon richtige Schnösel, deren Ziel im Leben es zu sein scheint, möglichst viel Kohle zu machen, teure Schlitten zu fahren und Models zu heiraten. Sie tun dies zusammen mit zahlreichen Menschen, die in vielen Bereichen ein sehr grenzwertiges Verhalten, geprägt von Xenophobie, Sexismus und sinnloser Gewaltbereitschaft, an den Tag legen. Das ist wirklich schwierig zu vermitteln. Nick Hornby, ein sehr gescheiter Mensch, akademisch gebildet und sozial engagiert, beschreibt es sehr schön in seinem Buch "Fever Pitch".

"Seine Bücher sind geprägt von einer Auseinandersetzung mit dem Alltag, mitunter auch unter Bezug auf seine eigene Biographie, und oftmals den Auswirkungen extremen Fantums. Bereits sein Debütroman Fever Pitch setzte sich mit seinen Erfahrungen als Anhänger des FC Arsenal und deren Einfluss auf sein Leben auseinander. In seinem zweiten Roman High Fidelity steht seine Vorliebe für die Musik im Vordergrund, später werden Behinderungen (wie die seines Sohnes) und Depressionen als Themen in seine Werke aufgenommen. Sein Werk A Long Way Down stellt den Versuch dar, Depressionen und insbesondere den Suizid unter einem ernsthaften, aber humorvollen Blickwinkel zu betrachten." (Quelle Wikipedia)

Fan zu sein kann ein genetisches Erbe sein. Mein Vater nahm mich schon im zarten Alter von 6 Jahren mit ins Stadion. Schon er war ein glühender Fan des FC Zürich und ein erklärter Gegner der Grasshoppers, geprägt von Hochfinanz und Antisemitismus wie er es ausdrückte. Jeder Sieg gegen die Hoppers war süsser als Honig, jede Niederlage war ein tiefer Stachel im Fleisch. Auch wenn ich mich in jugendlichen Jahren etwas vom Fantum entfernte, so kam es irgendwann wieder wie eine Krankheit zurück und ist geblieben.

Seit ein paar Jahren ist nun noch die "Liebe" zu Union Berlin dazugekommen. Dazu bin ich gekommen wie die Jungfrau zum Kind. Über einen Bekannten aus Berlin, der Fan von Union ist und mir davon vorschwärmte. Ich habe danach die Entwicklung von Union immer nachverfolgt. Als dann der ehemalige Spieler und Trainer vom FCZ, Urs Fischer, für Zürcher ein Fussballgott, Union als Coach übernahm, begann ich zu Spielen von Union in Deutschland zu reisen. Dort hat Fussball und die Verbundenheit zum Verein nochmals eine ganz andere Dimension. Union Berlin und seine Fans sind mittlerweile Kult. Es ist der einzige Club aus der ehemaligen DDR, der in der Bundesliga spielt. Dieses Erbe ist auch heute noch sehr gut zu spüren und wird auch intensiv gepflegt.

Diese Liebe nimmt man mit ins Grab. Morgen beim Derby werden wir uns von Heinz verabschieden. Er ist vor kurzem gestorben. Wir verloren einen guten Freund. Manche Bierdose floss durch unsere Kehlen. Manches Stadion machten wir unsicher.

Sein Leben wurde von einem Tag auf den anderen auf den Kopf gestellt. Er brach bei der Arbeit zusammen und kam ins Spital. Dort wurde ein bösartiger Krebs diagnostiziert und eine Notoperation vorgenommen. Er lebte von Anfang an mit der Gewissheit, dass es zu Ende geht. Und hat die folgenden zwei Jahre mit grosser Tapferkeit und Gelassenheit seinen Weg akzeptiert. Heinz hinterlässt seine Frau Darija und die beiden Söhne Robin und Lennie. Wir werden morgen im Stadion ein Transparent zu seinem Gedenken aufhängen. Und ihn nicht vergessen.

Football. I promised to come back to this a few days ago. A story in itself. Just three days after the first chemotherapy session, I was back in the stadium. I was totally exhausted afterwards, but a win is a win. Now the Zurich derby against Grasshoppers is tomorrow. I am glad that my doctor is on vacation and so the second chemo was postponed to next Monday. So I can live out the derby fever before it gets serious again.

What is it actually with football? Reasonable, critical and intelligent people cheer on youngsters, some of them real toffs, whose goal in life seems to be to make as much dough as possible, drive expensive sleds and marry models. We do this together with numerous people who display very borderline behavior in many areas, characterized by xenophobia, sexism and senseless violence. That's really difficult to convey. Nick Hornby, a very bright person, academically educated and socially engaged, describes it beautifully in his book "Fever Pitch".

"His books are characterized by an examination of everyday life, sometimes with reference to his own biography, and often the effects of extreme fandom. His debut novel, Fever Pitch, already dealt with his experiences as an Arsenal FC supporter and their impact on his life. His second novel, High Fidelity, focuses on his fondness for music, and later includes disability (such as that of his son) and depression as themes in his works. His work A Long Way Down represents an attempt to look at depression, and suicide in particular, from a serious but humorous point of view." (Source Wikipedia)

Being a fan can be a genetic legacy. My father took me to the stadium at the tender age of 6. He was already an ardent fan of FC Zurich and an avowed opponent of the Grasshoppers, influenced by high finance and anti-Semitism as he put it. Every victory against the Hoppers was sweeter than honey, every defeat was a deep thorn in the flesh. Even if I moved away from fanship in my youth, it came back like a disease and has remained.

For a few years now, the "love" for Union Berlin has been added. I came to it like the virgin to the child. About an acquaintance from Berlin, who is a fan of Union and raved to me about it. After that, I always followed the development of Union. Then, when the former FCZ player and coach Urs Fischer, a football god for Zurichers, took over Union as coach, I started traveling to Union games in Germany. There, football and the bond with the club has a completely different dimension again. Union Berlin and its fans have become a cult. It is the only club from the former GDR to play in the Bundesliga. This heritage can still be felt very well today and is also intensively cultivated.

You take this love with you to the grave. Tomorrow at the derby we will say goodbye to Heinz. He passed away recently. We lost a good friend. Many a beer can flowed down our throats. Many a stadium we made unsafe.

His life was turned upside down from one day to the next. He collapsed at work and was hospitalized. There he was diagnosed with a malignant cancer and underwent emergency surgery. He lived from the beginning with the certainty that it would end. And accepted his way with great bravery and serenity for the following two years. Heinz is survived by his wife Darija and two sons Robin and Lennie. We will hang a banner in his memory in the stadium tomorrow. And we will not forget him.

El fútbol. Prometí volver sobre esto hace unos días. Una historia en sí misma. Sólo tres días después de la primera quimioterapia, estaba de vuelta en el estadio. Después estaba totalmente agotado, pero una victoria es una victoria. Ahora el derbi de Zúrich contra el Grasshoppers es mañana. Me alegro de que mi médico esté de vacaciones, así que la segunda quimioterapia se ha pospuesto hasta el próximo lunes. Así podré vivir la fiebre del derby antes de que se ponga seria de nuevo.

¿Qué pasa con el fútbol? Personas razonables, críticas e inteligentes vitorean a jóvenes, algunos de ellos auténticos pijos, cuyo objetivo en la vida parece ser ganar toda la pasta posible, conducir trineos caros y casarse con modelos. Lo hacemos junto a numerosas personas que muestran un comportamiento muy límite en muchos ámbitos, caracterizado por la xenofobia, el sexismo y la violencia sin sentido. Eso es realmente difícil de transmitir. Nick Hornby, una persona muy inteligente, educada académicamente y comprometida socialmente, lo describe muy bien en su libro "Fever Pitch".

"Sus libros se caracterizan por examinar la vida cotidiana, a veces con referencia a su propia biografía, y a menudo los efectos del fandom extremo. Su primera novela, Fever Pitch, ya trataba de sus experiencias como hincha del Arsenal FC y su influencia en su vida. Su segunda novela, High Fidelity, se centra en su afición a la música, y más tarde incluye la discapacidad (como la de su hijo) y la depresión como temas en sus obras. Su obra A Long Way Down representa un intento de abordar la depresión, y el suicidio en particular, desde un ángulo serio pero humorístico". (Fuente: Wikipedia)

Ser fanático puede ser una herencia genética. Mi padre me llevó al estadio a la tierna edad de 6 años. Ya era un ferviente seguidor del FC Zúrich y un opositor declarado del Grasshoppers, influenciado por las altas finanzas y el antisemitismo, como él mismo decía. Cada victoria contra los Hoppers era más dulce que la miel, cada derrota era una profunda espina en la carne. Aunque me alejé de la afición en mi juventud, en algún momento volvió como una enfermedad y se ha quedado.

Desde hace unos años, también tengo un "amor" por Union Berlin. Llegué a ella como la virgen al niño. A través de un conocido de Berlín que es un fanático de la Unión y me lo contó todo. Después de eso, siempre he seguido el desarrollo de la Unión. Cuando el ex jugador y entrenador del FCZ, Urs Fischer, un dios del fútbol para los zuriqueses, se hizo cargo del Union como entrenador, empecé a viajar a los partidos del Union en Alemania. Allí, el fútbol y el vínculo con el club tienen una dimensión completamente diferente. Union Berlin y sus fans se han convertido en un culto. Es el único club de la antigua RDA que juega en la Bundesliga. Este patrimonio sigue estando muy presente hoy en día y también se cultiva intensamente.

Te llevas este amor a la tumba. Mañana en el derbi nos despediremos de Heinz. Murió recientemente. Hemos perdido a un buen amigo. Muchas latas de cerveza fluyeron por nuestras gargantas. Hicimos muchos estadios inseguros.

Su vida dio un vuelco de un día para otro. Se desmayó en el trabajo y fue trasladado al hospital. Allí se le diagnosticó un cáncer maligno y fue operado de urgencia. Desde el principio, vivió con la certeza de que se acabaría. Y durante los dos años siguientes, aceptó su camino con gran valentía y compostura. A Heinz le sobreviven su esposa Darija y sus dos hijos Robin y Lennie. Mañana colgaremos una pancarta en su memoria en el estadio. Y no lo olvidaremos.

[johnrossbowie]

LEAVING TWITTER

I wrote this earlier in the fall, before the election, after dissolving my Twitter account. I wasn’t sure where to put it (“try up your ass!” – someone, I’m sure) and then I remembered I have a tumblr I never use. Anyway, here tis.

How do you shame someone who thinks Trumps’ half-baked policies and quarter-baked messaging put him in the pantheon of great Presidents? How do you shame someone so lacking in introspection that they will call Obama arrogant while praising Trump’s decisiveness and yet at the same time vehemently deny that they’re racist? How do you shame someone for whom that racism is endearing and maybe long overdue?

You don’t. It’s silly to think otherwise.

Twitter is an addiction of mine, and true to form, my dependence on it grew more serious after I quit drinking in 2010. At first it was a chance to mouth off, make jokes both stupid and erudite and occasionally stick my foot in my mouth (I owe New Yorker writer Tad Friend an apology. He knows why, or (God willing) he’s forgotten. Either way. Sorry.) I blew off steam, steam that was accumulating without booze to dampen the flames. Not always constructive venting, but I also met new friends, and connected with people whose work I’ve admired for literal decades and ended up seeing plays with Lin-Manuel Miranda and hanging backstage with Jane Wiedlin after a Go-Go’s show and exchanging sober thoughts with Mike Doughty. When my mom passed in 2018, a lot of people reached out to tell me they were thinking of me. This was nice. For a while, Twitter was a huge help when I needed it.

I used to hate going to parties and really hated dancing and mingling, but a couple of drinks would fix that. Point is, for a while, booze was a huge help, too.

But my engagement with Twitter changed, and I started calling people my ‘friends’ even though I’d never once met them or even heard their voices. These weren’t even penpals, these were people whose jokes or stances I enjoyed, so with Arthurian benevolence I clicked on a little heart icon, liked their tweet, and assumed therefore that we had signed some sort of blood oath.

We had not. I got glib, and cheap, and a little lazy. And then to make matters much worse, Trump came along and extended his reach with the medium.

There was a while there where I thought I could be a sort of voice for the voiceless, and I thought I was doing that. I tried very hard to only contribute things that I felt were not being said – It wasn’t accomplishing anything to notice “Haha Trump looks like he’s bullshitting his way through an oral report” – such things were self-evident. I tried to point out very specific inconsistencies in his policies, like the Muslim ban meant to curb terrorism that still favored the country that brought forth 13 of the 9/11 hijackers. Like his full-throated cries against media bias performed while he suckled at Roger Ailes’ wrinkly teat.  Like his fondness for evangelical votes that coincided with a scriptural knowledge that lagged far behind mine, even though I’m a lapsed Episcopalian, and there is no one less religiously observant than a lapsed Episcopalian. But that eventually gave way to unleashing ad hominem attacks against his higher profile supporters, who I felt weren’t being questioned enough, who I felt were in turn being fawned over by theirdim supporters. If you’re one of these guys, and you think I’m talking about you, you’re probably right, but don’t mistake this for an apology. You suck, and you support someone who sucks, and your idolatry is hurting our country and its standing in the world. Fuck you entirely, but that’s not the point. The point is that me screaming into the toilet of Twitter helps no one – it doesn’t help a family stuck at the border because they’re trying to secure a better life for their kids. It doesn’t help a poor teenager who can’t get an abortion because the party of ‘small government’ has squeezed their tiny jurisdiction into her uterus. It doesn’t help the coal miner who’s staking all his hopes on a dying industry and a President’s empty promises to resurrect it. I was born in New York City, and I currently live in Los Angeles. Those are the only two places I’ve ever lived, if you don’t count the 4 years I spent in Ithaca[1]. So, yes, I live in a liberal bubble, and while I’ve driven across the country a couple of times and did a few weeks in a touring band and am as crushed as any heartlander about the demise of Waffle House, you have me dead to rights if you call me a coastal elitist. And with that in mind, I offer few surprises. A guy who grew up in the theater district and was vehemently opposed to same-sex marriage or felt you should own an AR-15? THAT would be newsworthy. I am not newsworthy. I can preach to the choir, I can confirm people’s biases, but I will likely not sway anyone who is eager to dismiss a Native New Yorker who lives in Hollywood. I grew up in the New York of the 1970s, and that part of my identity did shape my politics. My mom’s boss was gay and the Son of Sam posed a realistic threat. As such, gays are job creators[2] and guns are used for homicide much more often than they are used for self-defense[3]. I have found this to be generally true over the years, and there’s even data to back it up.

“But Mr. Bowie,” you might say, though I insist you call me John - “those studies are conducted by elitist institutions and those institutions suck!” And again, I am not going to reason with people who will dismiss anything that doesn’t fit their limited world view as elitist or, God Help Us, fake news. But the studies above are peer-reviewed, convincing, and there are more where those came from.

“But John,” you might say, and I am soothed that we’re one a first name basis - “Can’t you just stay on Twitter for the jokes?” Ugh. A) apparently not and B) the jokes are few and far between, and I am 100% part of that problem.

I have stuff to offer, but Twitter is not the place from which to offer it.

After years of academically understanding that Twitter is not the real world, Super Tuesday 2020 made the abstract pretty fucking concrete. If you had looked at my feed on the Monday beforehand – my feed which is admittedly curated towards the left, but not monolithic (Hi, Rich Lowry!) – you’d have felt that a solid Bernie surge was imminent, but also that your candidate was going surprise her more vocal critics. When the Biden sweep swept, when Bernie was diminished and when Warren was defeated, I realized that Twitter is not only not the real world, it’s almost some sort of Phillip K. Dickian alternate timeline, untethered to anything we’re actually experiencing in our day to day life. This is both good news and bad news – one, we’re not heading towards a utopia of single payer health care and the eradication of American medical debt any time soon, but two, we’re also not being increasingly governed by diaper-clad jungen like Charlie Kirk. Clouds and their linings. Leaving Twitter may look like ceding ground to the assclowns but get this – the ground. Is not. There.

It’s just air.

There are tangible things I can do with my time - volunteer with a local organization called Food On Foot, who provide food and job training for people experiencing homelessness here in my adopted Los Angeles. I can give money to candidates and causes I support, and I can occasionally even drop by social media to boost a project or an issue and then vanish, like a sort of Caucasian Zorro who doesn’t read his mentions. I can also model good behavior for my kids (ages 10 and 13) who don’t need to see their father glued to his phone, arguing about Trumps incompetence with Constitutional scholars who have a misspelled Bible verse in their bio (three s’ in Ecclesiastes, folks).

So farewell Twitter. I’ll miss a lot of you. Perhaps not as badly as I miss Simon Maloy and Roger Ebert and Harris Wittels and others whose deaths created an unfillable void on the platform. But I won’t miss the yelling, and the lionization of poor grammar, and anonymous trolls telling my Jewish friends that they were gonna leave the country “via chimney.” I will not miss people who think Trump is a stable genius calling me a “fucktard.” I will not miss transphobia or cancelling but I will miss hashtag games, particularly my stellar work during #mypunkmusical (Probably should have quit after that surge, I was on fire that night, real blaze of glory stuff I mean, Christ, Sunday in the Park with the Germs? Husker Du I Hear A Waltz? Fiddler on the Roof (keeping an eye out for the cops)? These are Pulitzer contenders.). Twitter makes me feel lousy, even when I’m right, and I’m often right. There’s just no point in barking bumperstickers at each other, and there are people who are speaking truth to power and doing a cleaner job of it – Aaron Rupar, Steven Pasquale, Louise Mensch, Imani Gandy and Ijeoma Oluo to name five solid mostly politically based accounts (Yes, Pasquale is a Broadway tenor. He’s also a tenacious lefty with good points and research and a dreamy voice. You think you’re straight and then you hear him sing anything from Bridges of Madison County and you want him to spoon you.). You’re probably already following those mentioned, but on the off chance you’re not, get to it. You’ll thank me, but you won’t be able to unless you actually have my email.

_______

[1] And Jesus, that’s worse – Ithaca is such a lefty enclave that they had an actual socialist mayor FOR WHOM I VOTED while I was there. And not socialist the way some people think all Democrats are socialist – I mean Ben Nichols actually ran on the socialist ticket and was re-elected twice for a total of six years.

[2] The National Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, “America’s LGBT Economy” Jan 20th, 2017

[3] The Violence Policy Institute, Firearm Justifiable Homicides and Non-Fatal Self Defense Gun Use, July 2019.

[1000sassa1000]

My first step after many years in art! ‚Der befreite Mensch - UN/TRAGBAR‘ ‚The liberated human UN/WEARABLE‘ A course I will do at Universität für angewandte Kunst Wien, Ortsbezogene Kunst; 4th to 9th of May 2020 We are at a turning point in many ways, gender and clothings are important factors for exemption from traditional behavior pattern and norms. Diversity as a new livelihood. The old only corresponds to our now and tomorrow in a new interpretation. Individuality and representation of one‘s own personality to the outside are elementary and should be set consciously. The traditional order male/female no longer exists. Let‘s do the experience of a free world without borders an censors! The wooden construction I‘m wearing is build in cooperation with Nunzio Verdinero luthier. Photos by Chris Reist 

GEROLD BRENNER

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Pluralistic: 16 Mar 2020 (Trump wants a US-only vaccine, Covid at Home, tips for laid-off techies, Tiktok's secret moderation guidelines, Corona Bar Mitzvah, Shmoocon 2020 videos)

Today's links

Covid At Home: A guide for isolation, illness and recovery

Trump wants a US-only vaccine: Reality has a well-known globalist/collectivist bias.

Folding@Home to beat covid: 23 distcomp projects to give your CPU to.

Italian hospitals fix their ventilators with 3D printed parts: Fablabs to the rescue.

How to prepare for coming layoffs: A guide for techies junior, senior and prickly.

Leaked Tiktok moderation guidelines are a censoring mess: No poors or ugly people welcome.

Canceled Bar Mitzvah is still a mitzvah: Today I am a mensch.

Shmoocon 2020 videos online: Hours of entertainment and infosec funnies.

This day in history:

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

Covid At Home (permalink)

Dutch hacker and XS4ALL cofounder Rop Gonggrijp and artist Vera Wilde have produced Covid At Home, an open-access guide to staying healthy, treating illness, and general pandemic preparedness.

https://covid-at-home.info/ It's an excellent, sober, accessible guide, produced with help from medical professionals.

They're seeking help to translate it into other languages as well. German edition coming next.

Trump wants a US-only vaccine (permalink)

The Trump administration has offered "large sums" to a German manufacturer for US-only access to a potential covid-19 vaccine

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/mar/15/trump-offers-large-sums-for-exclusive-access-to-coronavirus-vaccine

According to Die Welt, Curevac has made progress on the vaccine, and the Trump admin is seeking access "but for the US only."

The company's recently departed CEO, Daniel Menichella, is a US citizen who recently visited the White House.

The Trump administration's failure to understand our shared collective microbial destiny is emblematic. Trump epitomizes the neoliberal sociopathy of "enlightened self-interest" and "meritocracy" and the belief that "there is no such thing as society." It's a pathology as dangerous as any virus, and could yet kill us all. Immunizing America against coronavirus only works if

The vaccine is perfect (they never are) and

The US blocks all entry into the country by unvaccinated people (which it cannot do).

Instead of figuring out how to orient 100% of US capacity to producing enough vaccine to eliminate the virus worldwide, Trump is engaged in isolationist, superstitious fantasies.

https://twitter.com/doctorow/status/1238180609899429889

Within hours, Curvac had told Trump to go fuck himself and announced that any vaccine they produce will be available worldwide.

https://twitter.com/SWRAktuellBW/status/1239225432739844097

Folding@Home to beat covid (permalink)

Since the year 2000 (!), Folding@Home has been harnessing the power of idle personal computers to do scientific work on protein folding, using donated cycles to improve science. Now they're running 23 (!!) projects to help improve our scientific understanding of covid-19.

"We're simulating the dynamics of COVID-19 proteins to hunt for new therapeutic opportunities."

They've already used this to locate sites in the Ebola protein that can be targeted by therapeutics.

https://foldingathome.org/2020/03/15/coronavirus-what-were-doing-and-how-you-can-help-in-simple-terms/

Download your Folding@Home client here (Mac/Win/Lin)

https://foldingathome.org/start-folding/

Then choose your simulation from here. Be prepared to wait for your computer to be given work – they're overwhelmed with cycles at the moment.

https://apps.foldingathome.org/psummary

Italian hospitals fix their ventilators with 3D printed parts (permalink)

A Brescia hospital urgenty needed valves for their ventilators. A journalist contacted the local Fablab, who contacted a local 3D printing expert who came to the hospital, redesigned the part, and printed a replacement on the spot.

https://www.3dprintingmedia.network/covid-19-3d-printed-valve-for-reanimation-device/

Within a day, 10 patients were breathing with respirators incorporating 3D printed parts.

How to prepare for coming layoffs (permalink)

It's not outlandish to prepare for a recession (and hence layoffs) as a result of Covid-19. And while techies have a robust labor-market relative to other sectors, tech-workers are not immune from mass layoffs when their employers contract sharply or shut down altogether.

Jacob Kaplan-Moss has been here before and has some tips for techies to prepare for unemployment. He points out that the highest layoff risk comes to juniors (unprotected and easy to jettison), seniors (highest paid), and prickly people (politically easier to lay off) and underperformers (obvs).

https://jacobian.org/2020/mar/13/layoffs-are-coming/

How do you prep for layoffs? First, try to have 1 year's savings in the bank (advice from the 2000 dotcom crash). You probably can't do this, but start saving now. Cancel all nonessential expenses.

Next, update your resume. When layoffs start cascading, being ready to start applying for jobs can give you a head-start over your competition.

Kaplan-Moss suggests setting aside an hour every quarter to update your CV – this is good advice generally, as you never know when someone will ask for your resume (periodically I have to produce one for a visa or a grant, for example).

Practice interviews, using online resources, like this one:

https://eng-hiring.18f.gov/

In addition, contact your "professional network" and start feeling them out;Tb and brush up on your tech skills.

Leaked Tiktok moderation guidelines are a censoring mess (permalink)

There's a lot going on in The Intercept's deep dive into two leaked set of moderation guidelines from Bytedance, parent company of Tiktok, ably reported (as ever) by Sam Biddle.

https://theintercept.com/2020/03/16/tiktok-app-moderators-users-discrimination/

First is a confirmaton of Tiktok's policy of telling moderators to downrank videos from unattractive, fat, old or poor people, and signs of poverty. Homes need to have "no obvious slummy charactor" (sic), without a "crack on the wall" or "old and disreputable decorations."

The reasoning is clear "This kind of environment is not that suitable for new users for being less fancy and appealing" (overweight, poor, old or unattractive users lower the tone). Tiktok spox Josh Gartner said these were to prevent bullying, (but they don't mention bullying).

The leaks are pretty frank about their ableism and lookism, banning "low quality" traits including "abnormal body shape," "ugly facial looks," dwarfism, "obvious beer belly," "too many wrinkles," and "eye disorders."

They also ban "slums, rural fields" and "dilapidated housing."

The flipside of this is that Tiktok mods secretly contacting influencers to clue them in on secret moderation criteria that might get them downranked or banned, creating a group of insiders who are protected from the arbitrary, shadow regulation regime other Tiktokers never see.

That shadow regime is documented in a second set of leaks, which details the subjects and views that can get you kicked, suspended or downranked from the platform. Anything that embarrasses or upsets China is obviously out, like Falun Gong or Tiananmen.

Beyond that, livestreams of encounters with cops, videos that criticize the military, or criticism Tiktok itself are all lifetime bannable offenses – while racism and hate speech get you a one-month suspension.

Also revealed: Tiktok has a bunch of fake accounts maintained by its own staff, who gank influencer videos from Instagram that look classy and fun, as a way of shifting the content mix on the platform.

But even as these accounts were focusing on tags like "#BeachGirl," actual Tiktok users who posted pictures of themselves in swimwear faced temporary or permanent bans.

(You can get a permanent ban for wearing a garment that reveals "outline of female nipples").

There's also a "voice vulgarity" category of guidelines, including bans for "Singing or playing music pornography contents, sexual cues, etc," or "discussing the topic of sexual reproduction." You can also get banned for flipping the bird – but only if you do it more than twice.

Tiktok's appeal is that they use secret sauce to elevate accounts with few followers and share them with millions of viewers. The legend is that this is a way to rocket the humble but meretricious to fame, but the leaks reveal that no olds, fats, or poors need apply.

Canceled Bar Mitzvah is still a mitzvah (permalink)

A heartwarming story of "Covered Dish" behavior in the time of coronavirus! "Friends canceled their son's Bar Mitzvah this weekend but decided to keep the contract with their caterer, a tiny Hmong-owned business. They delivered the food to friends in quarantine & sent pans home with others."

https://twitter.com/mrotzie/status/1239249970458484736

(Image: Eli, CC BY)

Shmoocon 2020 videos online (permalink)

It's been years since I last attended a Shmoocon, but holy moly, is it ever a great annual infosec con. They've just put the 2020 videos online, which affords you plenty of viewing for your lockdown pleasure.

You might have already heard about Samantha Mosely's presentation about how she and her teen friends defeat Instagram's privacy invasions:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTCBEimhXMM

Here's some gnarly stuff: securing satellites and space-base comms, presented by three researchers styling themselves Yakko, Wakko and Dot (swoon!).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WR_H9_pnyDc

Feed your inner technothriller writer with this one, on "anti-forensics" ("the practice of modifying or removing data so that others cannot find it later during an investigation").

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eSmsiSvvAQs

How NGOs – and you at home – can use "open source intelligence" to help support human rights and survivors of human rights abuses.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRzGiR4DS7w

A Choose-Your-Own-Adventure guide to surviving ransomware attacks, using data gleaned from real attacks and recoveries.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkNFUQrg_GA

Analyzing the effects of 200 data-breaches on public companies' share prices (shareholder capitalism won't save us from overcollection, overretention and bad security).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PdxiwpACwYc

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago Apple steals iTunes customers' paid-for rights to stream https://web.archive.org/web/20050405225837/http://www.theinquirer.net/?article=21866

#15yrago My talk from ETECH: All Complex Ecosystems Have Parasites https://craphound.com/complexecosystems.txt

#15yrsago ETECH Notes: Folksonomy, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Mess (Schachter, Wales, Shirky and Butterfield) https://craphound.com/etech2005-folksonomy.txt

#15yrsago ETECH Notes: Feral Robotics and Some Other Quacking, Shaking, Bubbling Robots (Natalie Jeremijenko) https://craphound.com/etech05-feral.txt

#10yrsago Downloadable 3D cover for MAKERS is now also an article of commerce https://www.shapeways.com/product/Z55YYHW5P/cory-doctorow-makers-cover-3d-print

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: Geoff MacDougall (https://twitter.com/taliesan), Bleeping Computer (https://www.bleepingcomputer.com), Javier Candiera (https://twitter.com/candeira), Four Short Links (https://www.oreilly.com/feed/four-short-links), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/).

Currently writing: I've just finished rewrites on a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I've also just completed "Baby Twitter," a piece of design fiction also set in The Lost Cause's prehistory, for a British think-tank. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel next.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last month, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs"; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: When Sysadmins Ruled the Earth https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/03/13/when-sysadmins-ruled-the-earth-2/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020. https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250757531

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a new introduction by Edward Snowden: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250774583

[miraphoenix]

Tired and sad, because someone I really used to respect and think of as a mentor came out of the clear-ass blue with some transmisogynistic and transphobic views, and when I approached him to ask what he meant, reacted only with defensiveness and expected change to be mutual. As in, expecting my trans ass to change my behavior, my lived experience, to play nice with people who wish myself and my community harm.

And not going to lie, I’m heartbroken? This guy was like the cool Jewish grandfather that I’d never gotten to have, who grew roses and raised homing pigeons. And all that’s just. Shattered in my hands.

You can’t be a mensch and a transphobe.

[cummunication]

What is “Rape Culture?”

You’ve probably heard of the term “rape culture” or have seen it used on social media. Particularly prevalent with the “me too” movement, “rape culture” was especially brought into the light around 2016 when the Netflix documentary “The Hunting Ground” made its appearance. So what exactly is rape culture and why should you care? “Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture. Rape culture is perpetuated through the use of misogynistic language, the objectification of women’s bodies, and the glamorization of sexual violence, thereby creating a society that disregards women’s rights and safety. Rape Culture affects every woman. The rape of one woman is a degradation, terror, and limitation to all women. Most women and girls limit their behavior because of the existence of rape. Most women and girls live in fear of rape. Men, in general, do not. That’s how rape functions as a powerful means by which the whole female population is held in a subordinate position to the whole male population, even though many men don’t rape, and many women are never victims of rape.  This cycle of fear is the legacy of Rape Culture.” I’ve heard the term used in both a positive and negative light however; some feminists fight against the use of the term and do not appreciate what they deem it being “improperly used”. Unfortunately nowadays, it appears sexual assault is more of a norm rather than out of the ordinary. “Is 1 in 5 American women surviving rape or attempted rape considered a cultural norm? Is 1 in 6 men being abused before the age of 18 a cultural norm? These statistics are not just shocking, they represent real people. Yet, these millions of survivors and allies don’t raise their collective voices to educate America about our culture of rape because of fear. Rape culture is a real and serious, and we need to talk about it. Simply put, feminists want equality for everyone and that begins with physical safety.” From the outside looking in, this can seem it were solely a “women's issue”. I’d like to argue it is a global issue. Neither geared at men nor women as both are impacted by this epidemic and hold power & responsibility in sharing our stories. The job of advocating for both victims and survivors of sexual assault need not fall on the shoulders of women but we also shouldn’t blame men. It’s more about educating individuals and providing those impacted with the proper resources and support. It’s about letting people know how their choices affect others and what everybody can do to play their part (a.k.a bystander prevention). `.If you are a man, you are part of rape culture. I know … that sounds rough. You’re not a rapist, necessarily. But you do perpetuate the attitudes and behaviors commonly referred to as rape culture. But just imagine moving through the world, always afraid you could be raped. That’s even worse! Rape culture sucks for everyone involved. But don’t get hung up on the terminology. Don’t concentrate on the words that offend you and ignore what they’re pointing to — the words “rape culture” aren’t the problem. The reality they describe is the problem. Men are the primary agents and sustainers of rape culture. Rape isn’t exclusively committed by men. Women aren’t the only victims — men rape men, women rape men — but what makes rape a men’s problem, our problem, is the fact that men commit 99% of reported rapes. Women spend most of their social lives with ever-present, unavoidable feelings of vulnerability. Stop and think about that. Imagine always feeling like you could be at risk, like you were living with glass skin. As modern men we must seek out danger. We choose adventures and extreme sports in order to feel like we’re in jeopardy. We make games of our vulnerability. That’s how differently men see the world from women. A woman must consider where she is going, what time of day it is, what time she will arrive at her destination and what time she will leave her destination, what day of the week is it, if she will be left alone at any point … the considerations go on and on because they are far more numerous than you or I can imagine. Honestly, I can’t conceive of having to think that much about what I need to do to protect myself at any given moment in my life. I relish the freedom of getting up and going, day or night, rain or shine, Westside or downtown. As men we can enjoy this particular extreme luxury of movement and freedom of choice. In order to understand rape culture, remember this is a freedom that at least half the population doesn’t enjoy. You may think it’s unfair that we have to counteract and adjust ourselves for the ill behavior of other men. You know what? You’re right. It is unfair. Is that the fault of women? Or is it the fault of the men who act abysmally and make the rest of us look bad? If issues of fairness bother you, get mad at the men who make you and your actions appear questionable. Because when it comes to assessing a man, whatever one man is capable of, a woman must presume you are capable of.  The completely reasonable and understandable fear of men is your responsibility. You didn’t create it. But you also didn’t build the freeways either. Some of the things you inherit from society are cool and some of them are rape culture. Since no woman can accurately judge you or your intentions on sight, you are assumed to be like all other men. 73% of the time a woman knows her rapist. Now, if she can’t trust and accurately assess the intentions of men she knows, how can you expect her to ever feel that she can accurately assess you, a complete stranger? Rape prevention is not just about women teaching women how not to get raped — it’s about men not committing rape. Rape prevention is about the fact that a man must understand that saying “no” doesn’t mean “yes,” that when a woman is too drunk/drugged to respond that doesn’t mean “yes,” that being in a relationship doesn’t mean “yes.” Rather than focus on how women can avoid rape, or how rape culture makes an innocent man feel suspect, our focus should be: how do we, as men, stop rapes from occurring?  You’ll quickly find that rape culture plays a central role in all the social dynamics of our time. It’s at the heart of all our personal interactions. It’s part of all our social, societal and environmental struggles. Rape culture is not just about sex. It is the product of a generalized attitude of male supremacy. Sexual violence is one expression of that attitude. Again, don’t let the terminology spook you. Don’t get hung up on the term “male supremacy.” The term isn’t the problem. The problem is that rape culture hurts everyone involved. Antiquated patriarchal notions of society make it difficult for men to come forward as rape victims just as much as they foster a desire for a man to be seen as powerful and sexually aggressive. Men shouldn’t feel threatened or attacked when women point out rape culture — they’re telling us about our common enemy. We ought to listen. Now that you know what it is, what can you do about rape culture? · Avoid using language that objectifies or degrades women. Speak out if you hear someone else making an offensive joke or trivializing rape · If a friend says she has been raped, take her seriously and be supportive · Think critically about the media’s messages about women, men, relationships, and violence · Be respectful of others’ physical space even in casual situations · Always communicate with sexual partners and do not assume consent · Define your own manhood or womanhood. Do not let stereotypes shape your actions. Don’t limit yourself to being a man. Be a mensch. Be a human being. All we need to do is listen, and reflect, and let their words change our perspective. Our job is to ask ourselves how we can do better.”

[papatonyinsandiego]

The Law of the Jungle, vs. Kindness, Wisdom and Courtesy

Something that has occurred to me a few times now that might strike a chord with you.  

- In wanting to be a protective, nurturing top (even as a sadist, or perhaps especially as a sadist) and see to my boys' well-being, 

- In wanting to inspire the submission and service of others,

- In wanting to be a better man which is at the core of all this, to be worthy.... it seems a bit like aspiring to knighthood.

That makes perfect sense to me.  The first leathermen's group that I created (nineteen years ago) was called the San Diego League of Gentlemen.  That group’s name was meant to evoke the knights of old, and chivalry.  This baffled a lot of folks at the time.

It always confused the Olde Guarde types who didn't like what I was doing.  They only wanted to boast about what they knew, and always in a tone of being superior to others.  It was like we were endlessly scoring points in the Competitive Kink Games.

I was the ONLY one talking to the new faces among us, and it was always about being a Mensch.  Sure, we’d host classes that taught kinky techniques.  But I made sure that we taught a lot more.

It’s Not Enough To TALK About Hard Skills

“Technique” is another way of describing “Hard Skills” in the kinky scene.  The typical, logical construction of a kinky class doesn’t tell the entire story: 

Such a class (or millions of Youtube videos) is dry, it’s analytical, and it’s inadequate.  

In my long experience, “soft skills” (interpersonal courtesies, life-wisdom and social dynamics) are not as highly regarded in most cities.  I suspect that this is because there are so few folks who have a wealth of knowledge AND the drive to share what is known.

I am glad to see that the San Francisco Leathermen’s Discussion Group has finally added a few “soft skills” classes over the course of decades.  Good for them!  

I wish that they would record and POST the discussions online, as I did with some of the FetishMenSanDiego Men’s Discussions. Those are intensely popular worldwide.  Folks consume them like popcorn.

Soft Skills Are Crucial

In the last few months, I have posted over 300 articles, videos and audio recordings.  I have plenty of hard skills to impart.  Yet, I always make sure that I explain the context, and WHY it’s a good idea to do something.  

“Soft Skills” and wise advice have to do with being a valuable contributor to our culture, through social graces.  My teachings are always about being a GOOD Dom Top, above all else… Admirable, lovable, respectable and honorable.

My Flogging For Beginners instructional video has been posted in multiple places on the Internet.  According to Google Analytics, it has been viewed 337,022 times as of today.  I still get fan-mail every day, years after I created it.

What folks tell me is that I make the topic seem fun, light, playful and worth doing. Watching the video makes them feel like THEY can take it on, and succeed.  Based upon what I hear from those same folks later on, they DO succeed.  That was always my goal, and it is a delightful legacy.

This is because only around fifteen percent of the video has to do with dry technique.  The other 85% is everything.  I take the mystery out of flogging, and share it with pleasure.  I loved the men that I was teaching, and I wanted that same love to show up in the video for everyone else.

Like all of what I send out, that flogging video is my gift of love to the world.  

I have a fire in my belly that drives me ever onward.

I do the work that I have been doing because the Law of the Jungle is NO way to build a kind, genteel culture.  I have spent decades teaching the newest folks acceptable behavior through positive reinforcement.  The payoff is loving brotherhood and sisterhood, and in large quantities.

I do this because I was there in the midst of the greatest times in the history of the world for kinky gay leathermen.  We were a solid Tribe and we had everything that we wanted.  The future was SO very bright, and we were on an upward trajectory.

Then, AIDS killed off so many of the best of us.  I have been spending the remainder of my life, bringing that loving community back.  I have never taken a day off.

And I'm so glad you're sharing it.  You speak very much to what I feel in my heart, the things I truly want, my ideals.   In service and submission to my SIR, my heart is progressively more fully into it, knowing that he is a good and worthy man, not just a "hot top".   

And, I feel more comfortable in pursuing dominance with my own boys being *me* - a loving, affectionate man - rather than trying to be some cartoon porn caricature of a Top.  It's getting easier for me to "be" one or the other and feel I'm being my genuine self in both cases.

[geopolicraticus]

“He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

An Inverse Correlate of a Nietzschean Observation

I have noticed that in several of Jordan Peterson’s talks he has cited (or paraphrased) the line from Nietzsche that goes, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” This is from Twilight of the idols, or How to philosophize with a hammer (Götzen-Dämmerung, oder, Wie man mit dem Hammer philosophiert). The original German is this:

Hat man sein warum? des Lebens, so verträgt man sich fast mit jedem wie?

To which Nietzsche added the intentionally insulting flourish:

Der Mensch strebt nicht nach Glück; nur der Engländer thut das.

Or,

Man does not strive for pleasure; only the Englishman does.

For Nietzsche, England represented utilitarianism and moral calculation, and so flies in the face of the point he wished to make: that human beings would bear up under almost unspeakable horrors if there was a reason to bear up, and this is not pleasure-seeking behavior, but its antithesis. At least as often as we seek pleasures, we place hardships before ourselves.

Peterson often combines this Nietzschean observation with the further observation of how tough individuals can be when they need to be tough, and clearly this is what Nietzsche wanted to communicate to his readers.

The inverse corollary of Nietzsche’s observation is that he who has no why to live for cannot bear almost any how. The full implementation of this inverse corollary is, of course suicide. If you cannot bear any of the ordinary business of life whatsoever, then you excuse yourself from life.

A partial implementation of the inverse correlate spans a spectrum from possessing a very weak why, and so being able to tolerate a little of the how of life, to possessing a pretty robust why, but not an exhaustive why, and being able to bear up under pretty severe circumstances, but still having a breaking point.

Lacking a why is a form of nihilism -- it is the ultimate form of nihilism that reaches into the depths of the individual, the raison d'être that I have identified as the foundation of an inverted hierarchy of needs. What do we ultimately need? Purpose and meaning. There are, of course, any number of other needs, but the foundation of human needs is the need for a why.

Before the advent of cognition upset the natural order of things, before human beings were human, the will to live was a sufficient raison d'être for all purposes, and for all animal life. Human beings, however, interpolated cognition between will and action, thereby greatly expanding the scope and complexity of the human condition, but also forcing a dilemma upon us every time we act: to what end? Why bother? What is the purpose of it all?

Without adequate answers to these questions, we fall into anomie and alienation. But we have gotten quite good at producing reasons for ourselves, albeit with varying success. When our efforts fall short, we find ourselves on the continuum between a weak why and a robust why, and where we fall on this continuum determines the burdens we are capable of bearing. 

[themumblrexchange]

Today being dec 1... elf on a shelf (or being 1dt day of hannukah mensch on a bench i saw too lol) anyone doing that? Yay or nay?? My kid is only 22mo but i just... dont want to. I see so many parents edo moms going already "I NEED A ELF FOR TMRW IM SO STRESSED" "any ideas???" "I forgot to move my elf my kids are throwing tantrums!!!" Or having kids on good behaviour bc of the elf reporting to santa. Then what jan 1? Idk. Maybe i don't get it fully.

That’s a HARD NO for me. Never ever. Committing to elf of the shelf is committing to like at least 5 years of bullshit and stress and strife. Not worth the potential “good behavior” the kids will show because the elf is watching. ⚡️