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thatsonemorbidcorvid · 4 years

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“

At 11 years old we were ushered into an empty classroom for "The Talk". Girls went into one room and boys into another, emphasising the secret nature of the things to be discussed. For about an hour, the nurse they had called in told us about the female reproductive system, periods and how it all worked. At the end there was a Q&A and the brave few who raised their hands were given practical, shame-free answers. We all left with a “goodie-bag” containing a packet of tampons, a handful of sanitary towels and a booklet on how our bodies worked. Whilst the science was no secret and we had sex education lessons all together in our class, the idea that periods were “woman things” and not to be discussed with the boys was cemented in our minds.

At 14, I read Carrie by Stephen King. From the brutal beginning (a girl gets her first period in a high-school changing room and believes herself to be dying), to the final blood-soaked climax, the whole book is a testament to the primal nature of menstruation and the negative associations. For Carrie, her blood inspires cruelty in other girls, religious insanity in her mother and, ultimately, her death as she leaves the book the way she entered it – blood-soaked and publicly humiliated. The book was written in 1974 but banned from American school libraries in 1992 due to the swearing, anti-religious themes and references to puberty.

It is now 2020. Earlier this month, a Tampax advert was removed from Irish television following complaints from 84 viewers. The ad, which took the form of a fake talk show advising women that they should not be able to feel their Tampons and had to “get ‘em up there”, was removed because of the “sexual innuendo” and “excessive detail”.

This week, Bodyform introduced their newest ad campaign alongside the hashtag #wombstories. The advert itself shows darkly humorous cartoon images of a womb-in-action, alongside footage of women experiencing infertility, miscarriage and other less traumatic yet embarrassing “delights” provided by our wombs on a monthly basis.

The initial public response has been positive, with people of all ages sharing their own womb stories and calling to normalise the discussion.

But as always, there is a coterie of nay-sayers determined to shame and bully women for discussing their experiences. The last 24 hours have seen men suggesting Bodyform “check their ad focus” as they don’t believe it should be promoted on the timelines of “50-year-old blokes”, alongside the usual comedians suggesting Bodyform include some “hot chicks” to make more men take notice. One early male commenter posted that discussing wombs was “immodest” and was immediately reminded by numerous users that he came from a womb. Jean Hatchet, who lives with (and raises money for) ovarian cancer was one such respondent, only to have her cancer proclaimed “fake” and details of her workplace posted publicly on Twitter in retaliation.

The idea that women’s bodies are merely decorative and should be viewed through a sexual lens without any of that nasty, real stuff getting in the way is dated and dangerous. The lack of real education combined with the pornographic ideals of what female bodies should look like (hairless, pneumatic, shiny and scented) create a false impression which can have real life consequences for many young girls.

The charity Samaritans was founded in 1953 by a vicar who had held a funeral for a 14-year-old parishioner who had killed herself following her first period (lacking real knowledge she assumed she had an STD, despite being a virgin). Today we like to think that such things can no longer happen, yet girls in Rwanda are forced to skip school during their periods due to social stigma and women elsewhere are dying because their pain and concerns are dismissed as “women’s problems”. It is no longer acceptable to think of female reproductive issues as “women’s things”: they are human things and should be taught as such.

If I wish to discuss these things privately, in the company of other women, then I should be able to do so. Likewise, if I feel they need to be given a public audience to help raise awareness and reduce stigma then that should be equally acceptable.

For men to attempt to police our factual discussions of our bodies, whilst being perfectly happy to indulge in conversations where those same bodies are objectified, is ludicrous. If men are able to openly discuss women as a series of idealised body parts, they should be prepared to understand the biological processes which underpin the bodies they are idealising. Likewise we should be teaching our daughters about their own bodies and how to speak out when something is not right. Our health and wellbeing depends on it. “

#radfems do interact #radfem #terfs do interact #terfs please interact #radfems please interact #terf safe #radical feminism #womb stories

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tadie1234 · 4 years

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This was an ask from @daisy-like-a-cow

It was for hidden injury, fainting, and I think infected, tumblr ate your ask and it won’t pop up.

First of thank you!! Second I’m so sorry for this taking so long ❤️❤️

Ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25815538

“Good job Parker good job, can’t even go one lousy patrol without getting stabbed.” Peter muttered to himself as he attempted to swing back to the apartment while trying to keep the knife from jostling. He remembered from his field training with Natasha that you aren’t supposed to remove a the weapon from a wound without getting proper medical attention, but he wasn’t going to bother Mr. Stark. He had gotten stabbed enough times to know he could do this by himself. It was also barely a stab, it was more like a really deep cut, a scratch if you will, at least that’s what he kept trying to tell himself. So when he finally had gotten back to his apartment he had a plan. First he had to somehow sneak into May’s room without waking her up to grab a needle and thread. Then he would go to the bathroom and carefully take out the knife and clean it with rubbing alcohol. And finally he would use his very little knowledge of stitching to stitch himself up. The plan commenced.

Instead of going into the apartment from his own window, he decided just going into May’s would be easier. So he slowly eased her window open and crawled inside.

“Peter what are you-“ May sleepily asked from her bed.

“Uh-Nothing! You’re dreaming, this is just a dream, go back to sleep.” Peter whisper shouted, as he rummaged through May’s sewing box until he finally found what he was looking for. He grabbed the needle and thread and quietly left her room and went into the bathroom. He quickly took out the knife and placed it on the counter, next he grabbed the bottle of rubbing alcohol and poured a little on the wound. Then Peter took the needle and thread and quickly pushed the needle through the skin and began to stitch. It took around 20 minutes and he almost passed out but he did it. It was around three am and he still had school the next day, so he climbed into bed and instantly fell asleep.

—-/—/—-/

When he woke up, the first thing he noticed was that his side was itching like crazy. He lifted up his shirt to look at the wound and gasped in surprise. The area around the stitches were red and inflamed and there a watery pus that had started to come from the wound. “Well shit.” Peter thought to himself, he decided the best thing to do was to remove the stitches, so he snipped them and some how doing that the wound looked worse than it did before. But he had to get to school, so quickly got dressed and ran into the kitchen hoping that May had already left. But like most things in his life recently, it wasn’t really going the way he hoped.

“Hey sweetie, how did you sleep? I had the strangest dream last night and-“

“Hey May, love you, gotta go bye” Peter said as he rushed towards the door, snagging a banana on his way out.

Peter ran to the subway station and made it to school. Barely. He almost passed out on the subway because he got so dizzy just from standing. But if he didn’t do anything too strenuous it would be fine right?

Wrong. Peter was so very wrong. Getting through first period was practically torture, his side burning and twinging with every movement. And next he had gym. He changed his clothes in the bathroom instead of out with everyone else because he hadn’t wrapped the it and didn’t want anyone to think he got stabbed or something. Which of course he had but that wasn’t the point. But at least today, all they were doing was the rope climbing test. He could do that. All he had to do was just climb to the top of the rope and ring the bell. He’s climbed higher on patrol, this was going to be no problem at all. Except it turned into a slight problem. When Peter reaches midway on the rope, he got really dizzy all of the sudden and black spots filled his vision as he let go of the rope and passed out.

“Peter!” He heard a voice call out. He let out a loud groan and slowly opened his eyes.

“Wha- happened?” Peter asked as he slowly sat up.

“You took quite the tumble there Parker, I’m sending you to the nurse to go home for the day.” Coach Wilson said as he helped the boy sit up.

“Uh- thank you sir.” Peter said as he stumbled out of the gym to the nurses office.

When he arrived to the nurses office the nurse had him lay down on the cot as she called his emergency contacts.

“I can’t seem to get a hold of your aunt let me try this other number.” The nurse said as she bustled around her small office. Peter zoned out after that knowing Tony would be absolutely livid if he found out why Peter passed out.

—-/—-/-

Peter just have fallen asleep waiting for Tony to arrive because he woke up to someone softly shaking his shoulder.

“Hey buddy, time to go.” Peter stood up slowly and needed to lean on Tony the whole way to his car.

“What’s going on with you bud?” Tony said as he buckled Peter in.

“Nothing I just- it’s nothing Tony.” Peter mumbled as he let his eyes fall shut.

“Wanna try that again? Your lying skills are somehow getting worse and worse every time you open your mouth.” Tony said, running his fingers through Peter’s hair. “Are you sick? Not sleeping good? Are you not eating what’s wrong bud? Just talk to me. Tony said softly. Peter saw his life line and took it.

“I’ve just been not sleeping well recently, it’s nothing, I’m fine.” Peter said, trying to sound as believable as possible.

“Pete, you need to come with me with this kind of stuff, I can help you, I’ve dealt with all of this, I know all the little tricks and tips. I’m going to bring you back to the tower and we are going to have a little slumber party.” Tony said taking his hand from Peter’s hair and starting the car. Peter let out a snort at the slumber party part.

“Seriously Mr. Stark? Slumber Party?” Peter asked with a smirk.

“Yeah kiddo that’s what we’re doing. Seriously Pete, I can help you, you need to tell me when you’re not feeling good or can’t sleep or anything.”

“Yeah okay.” Peter said, feeling oh so guilty. They were quiet for the rest of the ride to the Tower.

—-/—-/-

“Okay bud, here’s the plan, movie first and if that doesn’t work I’ll have to pull out my secret sleeping tactics.” Tony said, leading the boy over to the couch. Peter sat down on the couch and waited as Tony gathered some blankets and pillows. He then put a pillow on his lap and made Peter lay down while he covered both of them in a big fluffy comforter. And to make it even more sleep inducing he put on a nature documentary about jellyfish. He waited until they were about 15 minutes into it before he pulled out his real weapon. He started to slowly run his fingers through Peter’s curly locks. And it almost worked. But Peter’s side was really starting to hurt now and he just couldn’t get comfortable, so he stood up to get a new position when Tony stopped him.

“Is that blood on your shirt?” Tony asked peering at him in the darkness.

“What!? No, no it’s uh- wait, yes actually. Mr. Stark, I am uh- on my period, I’m menstruating? I’m on my menstruation.” Peter said trying to remember what he learned from sex ed.

“Peter.” Mr. Stark said unamused. “Lift up your shirt.”

“No, I uh- can’t, I-.” Peter said backing away from the man.

“Peter, come over here and let me see, I won’t get mad.” Tony said lifting his hands up as a gesture of peace. Peter slowly walked over and lifted up his shirt and Tony gasped. The area around the wound was turning purple and it was leaking pus and blood.

“Friday tell Bruce we need him.” Tony yelled as he took Peter by the arm and helped him to the Medbay.

—-/—-/—

“Septic shock!?” Tony called out as he paced in front of Peter. “Do you know why what you did was so incredibly stupid?”

“Yes Mr. Stark, it won’t happen again. Peter said, looking down at the floor. When they had gotten to the Medbay, Bruce told them that Peter was in the beginning stages of septic shock and it was good that they caught it so early. They got him hooked up to an IV with antibiotics and fluids, and Bruce also cleaned and stitched up his wound. But Tony was still freaked out about the whole thing and finally stopped pacing and sat down next to Peter.

“Don’t ever do that again bud.” Tony said softly grabbing Peter’s hand. “You could’ve died, you know that? Next time please tell me these things, I can help you, I promise I won’t be mad.”

“Yes sir.” Peter said, his eyes full of tears.

“C’mere kid.” Tony said, and Peter curled up into his arms as Tony rocked him back and forth to calm him down.

“I- I didn’t mean- I didn’t think-“ Peter said between sobs.

“Hey, it’s fine buddy, at least we got it under control, next time talk to me, I can’t help you.” Tony said softly running his fingers through Peter’s hair.

“Thank you” Peter whispered into his chest.

“Of course bud.” Tony replied, holding him tighter.

And that’s how Pepper found them the next morning, curled up in each others arms.

#fic prompt #irondad #spiderman #avengers endgame #iron man #irondadfic #sick fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 link #ao3fic #hurt/ comfort

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krshush · 2 months

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././.

heeheehoo period finally came back todayyy and the bleeding was like I'm used to for most of it which was nice except now tonight the bleeding's getting heavierrr before I sleeeeeepppp so NOW it's TIME to start again on my leftover birth control pills that routinely make me feel FUCKING HOOOOORRIBLEEEEE EMOTIONALLYYY THREE WEEKS IN <3 THIS IS FIIIIIINE <3 DESERVED PUNISHMENT FOR FAILING TO MOVE ON WITH MY LIFE AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF MY AUTONOMY AND BODY! AND THE SHAME INHERENT TO THAT BURDEN! TEEHEE !!!

#I'll be fine! but also every thing I suffer is because I deserve it of course so I should feel said suffering <3 #no seriously shut up #menstruation talk for ts

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parentsnevertoldus · 4 years

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Period Poops

Do you notice a change in your bathroom habits during menstruation? Because you’re not alone. Period poops are a normal part of menstruation that no one seems to talk about!

Causes

According to the Cleveland Clinic, many people have digestive distress during menstruation. However, some abdominal symptoms during this time are not related to your digestive system at all. Hormones like prostaglandins cause inflammation, bloating, and cramping in the uterus (though it may feel like it’s in your stomach).

Diarrhea

As menstruation begins and the thickened uterine lining is shed, prostaglandins relax the smooth muscle tissues which make up most involuntary muscles in the body--including the intestines. This can cause diarrhea (aka period sh*ts).

These prostaglandins can also make you more gassy and bloated, especially if your period cravings are especially processed. Since you’re likely eating more (again, because of prostaglandins) and pooping less (thanks, progesterone), there’s a buildup of food in your digestive tract that is not typically there.

Many think that period poop smells different than usual--blame PMS eating habits and the drop in progesterone, as well as the odor of menstrual blood adding a lil spice to the mix.

Constipation

Progesterone, the hormone responsible for the thickening of the uterine wall peaks right before ovulation. This buildup can cause constipation around ovulation and the days following it. Other theories posit that rising estrogen levels are the cause of difficult passage of stools and slow colonic movement.

Other underlying and chronic conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome and endometriosis can make you more prone to menstrual constipation. It is also more likely if you tend to have very painful periods.

All of these changes are common and very normal. As long as no other concerning symptoms are being experienced (like blood in your poop or extreme pain), there is no cause for worry.

How to Deal

Dr. Jen Gunter an OB/GYN suggests taking a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug (NSAID) like ibuprofen shortly before the start of menstruation. This class of medications blocks prostaglandin production, which can reduce period cramps and period diarrhea. Oral birth controls containing estrogen can also help reduce cramps and diarrhea. If you are already on a contraceptive regimen, you can skip periods by skipping the week of placebos.

Constipation can be helped with the introduction of a high-fiber diet--plenty of fruits, vegetables, and leafy greens. If that does not work, gentle stool softeners can help with relief.

#periods #menstruation #queer sex ed #queer sex education #period poops #queeriods #parentsnevertoldus #pntu #queer #contraception

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wlwkiryuu · 6 years

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nanami is a closeted lesbian

this was a theory of mine i used to have just minor evidence for, but after i tried to search up that evidence to compile i realized i actually have a LOT more than i bargained for! so heres ALL the evidence i have so far under the cut :’)

(also please note that i am adding my own personal experiences as a lesbian to this to derive this headcanon, so as they say: your mileage may vary! this is just for fun although i certainly wouldn’t put it past ikuhara + the producers of the show to hint that nanami isn’t straight.)

OK first off nanami seems to have a crush on miki waaayyy back in the sunlit garden prelude, when he's first introduced. but then she gets jealous when it turns out he’s too busy crushing on anthy.

she then decides to do everything she can in that one episode (snails. garter snake. octopus. you know the one) to get anthy out of the picture,

but then eventually it turns into her getting obsessed with utena and anthy themselves rather than getting them out of the way between her and miki.

compare nanami trying to humiliate anthy in front of miki vs her trying to ardently spy on utena and anthy to the point where she knows their schedules in order to sneak that curry into their class. it’s because of her own personal vendetta against them at this point. and THEN compare THAT to nanami trying to warn utena about akio in season 3 near the series finale even though there was literally nothing that required her to do that.

what's even more interesting is that nanami’s repeatedly been said to be one who never gets her own hands dirty when she’s up to no good; and yet in regards to utena and anthy?

she’s DEFINITELY more than willing to get her hands dirty. these two are just that special enough for her to be worthy of her attention.

(and even after touga is out of the picture—that is, once he’s basically revealed himself as the manipulative asshole that he was towards his sister all along—utena’s still deemed worthy of attention by nanami, who goes so far as to warn her about akio, which is...hmm! interesting!)

and what's even more worth mentioning on top of this is that whenever nanami humiliates someone? she usually succeeds in it! a prime example would be keiko in her black rose episode. even at the end, she just comes crawling back to nanami. but utena and anthy...they really end up testing nanami to the bone. and of course, that’s what makes their dynamics with nanami so interesting!

but more on that later. the main point here is that this is one of the first (if not the first) times nanami’s bullying has ended up hurting her rather than her victims. and it consequently opens up nanami’s eyes. she begins to regard these girls in a whole other way, on her own footing. which is kind of a major step in her making tensions with her brother reach a peak, until the season 3 arc comes crashing down on her. this makes her eventually realize she will never be able to see touga in/be with touga in the same way ever again, causing her to resolve to cut ties with one of the only men she has a eminent relationship with.

buuut back to the miki episode. notice nanami’s word choice when she praises miki! pride of the school. almost like she's inclined to like/settle for miki because of this, because she considers herself a pride of the school as well. she focuses more on his status and supposed superiority than anything; that’s the kind of thing nanami’s after/the kind of status she thinks makes her better than others as well. and you know who else she/the rest of the student body considers a pride of the school...?

yep! this asshole! and obviously she can't fulfill being loved that way with her brother bc a) she’s explicitly screamed and shoved him away when he tried to make an advance on her because she knows that kind of relationship is not right and b) her devotion to him to the point where she completely ignores other guys is a product of her idealization of men + compulsory heterosexuality.

(for clarification: touga is saying the top half after nanami pushes him away when he tries to advance on her, and nanami is saying the bottom half).

and here we have obvious proof that nanami does NOT want him as a partner and NEVER wanted him like that all along. so what am i trying to get at here? that she KNOWS touga kiryuu is unattainable. a significant aspect of compulsory heterosexuality is getting crushes on/idolizing guys who are idealized/unattainable. you can't get the guy anyways, so it's both “proof” that you're straight, and no one can say you never acted on that “crush” because getting that guy is impossible anyways.

this matches the theme in revolutionary girl utena surrounding the generalization/idealization of men by women forced into compulsory hetereosexuality perfectly (i mean miki’s literally called a “prince” because he has all these “ideal” noble qualities: rich, kind, good-looking, honest, talented, good grades/prodigy) and honestly provides a great parallel to utena and her “prince” (i say “prince” and not simply akio because touga toys with this idea as well in order to make utena lose her duel with him in episode 11!)

you know that scene where anthy’s wearing the dress nanami gave her and she watches it get wet and tear away at anthy’s clothes? you know, the classic introductory oh shit, nanami’s actually a huge asshole moment?

yeah, so upon rewatching that scene i realized the entire scene PLUS the part where utena rescues anthy and starts dancing with her is cut in between in various places by nanami’s commentary:

so its safe to say this whole scene is from nanami’s point of view.

...yeah. NANAMI’S point of view. and its ALSO worth mentioning that this is the first time nanami’s ever seen or heard of utena at all. thus begins our closeted disaster femme icon’s first taste of lesbianism.

oh and of course, the iconic scene from nanami’s egg where this happens.

ok WOW lots of good stuff here. yes, on the surface level, of course, the specific moment in context is where nanami confuses preferring to have a girl as a child to preferring girls romantically. but then again, it’s not like nanami actually laid an egg. revolutionary girl utena’s metaphor soup! there’s more to things than just face value.

what i’ve seen as the most universally accepted interpretation of this episode is that it’s about puberty, and specifically, the taboos involving menstruation. and of course, this completely makes sense! egg motif? check. tsuwabuki literally mentioning that nanami has to attend a health class? check. the episode starting out with a dream where nanami is a child, then paralleled throughout the rest of the episode with current, teenager nanami? check. touga talking about “eggs” disparagingly? check. the episode is about puberty, maturation of feelings, and adolescence, meaning that discussing sexuality is really not too far of a stretch in an episode that pretty much covers puberty in general! it totally matches the whole “coming of age” theme in both this episode AND the series (albeit it’s done in more serious undertones in the non-nanami bits of the show).

and you know what’s even more interesting? when touga hints that nanami liking girls is wrong, she doesn’t immediately jump to the fact that she likes guys as her defense. rather, she jumps to her specifically loving touga as her defense. and as i pointed out earlier, she knows she doesn’t want touga romantically. miki whom?

not to mention this gem:

...yeah. nanami’s first time seeing the “eggs” in question being put to use is by guys, and she’s visibly disgusted/horrified by it. not subtle at ALL, ikuhara.

and what’s MORE that i realized just from this one iconic episode? the alien motif.

ah, nanami’s incredibly absurd imagine spots. gotta love those! and they all fit a particular theme: alienation. and it’s honestly really odd to think about how nanami has this constant fear of alienation throughout this episode (and arguably throughout the series); she’s rich, popular, and consequently has the whole student body in the palm of her hand. and yet she STILL believes she’s not normal. really kind of parallels being closeted/”hiding something,” doesn’t it? and it’s cleverly referred to again upon nanami’s big arc in season 3, when her entire world comes crashing down as she believes her and touga aren’t actually siblings.

(the scene in question is right when keiko slaps nanami because she tells touga that “he shouldn’t go out with a girl like her [keiko].”)

ostracism/fear of ostracism seems to be a popular theme for nanami throughout the series.

so in this episode, nanami soon transitions from imagining being alienated to being behind her peers instead.

it’s constantly established that nanami only has eyes for her brother; the “only one she loves” is him. she’s never shown interest for any other guy, which is paralleled especially well in keiko’s black rose episode; nanami’s vicious attitude towards keiko manifests because keiko turns out to have eyes for the only one nanami has eyes for.

keiko’s the one acting “normally”; nanami’s the one seen as overtly possessive.

and, of course, knowing the nature of nanami’s character, her idolization of her brother is painted to such absurd extremes that she essentially shows she absolutely refuses to find another relationship. she’s in a “fairy-tale world”; she refuses to grow up, which even her brother admits at times.

another common aspect among closeted lesbians is the feeling that we’re “late bloomers” for failing to find any sort of interest in men. and so, thus, the line mentioned earlier that describes nanami’s fear, “being late compared to most people,” could very easily fit into this context.

and regarding tsuwabuki? yeah, this just sums it up perfectly.

miki’s so brutal in this episode, i love him. brutal but accurate!

and then, of course, we get that sweet, sweet confirmation again:

immediately followed by miki spitting out the truth yet again.

oh and interestingly enough, even with tsuwabuki, where she blatantly treats him like her personal servant, she still doesn’t want to let him go; particularly, she doesn’t want to let him go to other girls.

even with a (give or take) 10/11 year old child, nanami refuses to acknowledge him interacting with another girl. simply because he’s a guy.

an extremely common and integral part of nanami’s character is her constant desire for acceptance (lots of episodes showcase this! namely nanami’s egg and cowbell of happiness). she’s a “late bloomer” who shows no romantic desire for men whatsoever; therefore, she fulfills this criteria for “normalcy” by having literally every other relationship with guys except for romantic, as shown with touga, tsuwabuki, and even saionji and miki to some extent. but for the most part —it’s shown with touga and tsuwabuki, simply because they’re the most obvious examples of non-romantic relationships: siblings and a literal elementary schooler. it’s kind of funny, almost; it’s like nanami thinks “having relationships with guys” is just one of many things she’s obligated to cross off on her checklist for societal acceptance, and literally goes in the most roundabout way to achieve it without realizing what it even means (i.e., romantic relationships with a guy, not just a relationship in general), and completely failing.

and all of this leads me, of course, to the final aspect to analyze: nanami’s relationship with utena.

yeah, it’s pretty safe to say they don’t get along on the best of terms at first. nanami even tried to kill utena during their first duel!

so it’s incredibly interesting to see their relationship evolve after the events of that skirmish.

regarding their first duel in particular, the duel lyrics have a LOT in them to unpack.

My eternal self The eternal stranger Two relations Two births Scales of mystery Human constellation

“my eternal self” versus “the eternal stranger” brings up some interesting parallels. touga seems to be the eternal stranger, with whom nanami believes she is closer to than anyone else, and yet she seems completely unable to figure out his inner workings and who he really is as a person. no matter what she’d like to or not like to admit, touga is and always has been a complete mystery to her. this “human constellation” can thus never be truly connected. but you know who else is a mystery to nanami?

yep! the boy-girl of ohtori herself. you have to consider this isn’t only a duel provoked by touga; it’s a duel with utena. a duel between nanami and utena. their relationship is bound to be mentioned in the song as well. which is exactly why i believe nanami says this right after utena technically “wins” the duel by slicing nanami’s rose off.

nanami’s essentially setting herself up for a long, long rivalry spanning the rest of the series with those five words. it seems like nanami’s more interested in seeing what makes utena tick than her own brother, whom she claims to be the “only one she loves.” simply challenging utena isn’t enough; she has to understand her in order to defeat her. and this ideology is called back to later in nanami’s second duel with utena!

nanami ends up giving one hell of a fight the second time around. despite only fighting her once prior, she ends up knowing all of utena’s moves beforehand and dodging them. that’s how well she knows utena’s fighting techniques.

now lets look at the nature of the duel itself. what exactly makes nanami want to challenge utena a second time?

individuality! distinction! that’s what nanami wants. she dreads the thought of being “one more fly in the swarm.” now that she’s discovered her relationship with touga’s been lying on top of a foundation of lies the whole time, her world comes crashing down. she doesn’t want to adore her brother anymore. she wants to surpass him, and so, essentially, escape her problems. and so, in a sort of roundabout way since utena was the reason behind nanami’s meddling and tensions with her brother, she believes defeating utena will be the key to defeating all of her problems.

and, spoiler alert: it isn’t. the fact that nanami isn’t able to win this duel is especially important. even after she’s able to jump the hurdle of her brother, she fails to jump the hurdle of utena. she wants to “surpass everything,” that is, leave the old her behind. and at first it seems like she’s succeeding to leave everything behind...except for utena.

touga serves as the last link nanami has towards any sort of affection towards a guy. and in this duel, she straight up BREAKS it by admitting there was nothing between them at all.

and THEN utena asks if nanami feels better. even though she, like...literally just lost the duel. given utena’s character it’s probably just her naivete showing through, but given the underlying messages this series is ridden with, it probably refers to how nanami “defeating” touga was FAR more important than her actually defeating utena—that is, she never needed to defeat utena in the first place to feel better.

so, what we get from this is: a) nanami succeeds in breaking her bond towards touga, but b) fails to break that bond with utena.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

and of course the lyrics here in this dueling song as well:

You, me, our nature Our nature, our nature Free will and existence

who’s it about? the nature of the kiryuu siblings? the nature of nanami and utena as they act as foils? the ambiguity of the song is what really makes it interesting. not to mention—free will and existence. nanami wants out of this oppressive system. and she believes utena is the key to it (and, well, she’s not wrong!). take of that what you will symbolically, metaphorically, ikuharaesquely, etc.

and that free will and existence line just leads me to believe that nanami’s a foil to anthy in regards to utena, since free will and existence is essentially what utena fights for anthy to achieve in the end, and what anthy desperately desires: autonomy. and, so, given that these two are foils in regards to utena...well, we all know what anthy is in regards to utena.

...yeah. exactly. imagery/parallelism they didn’t absolutely HAVE to do, but did regardless.

and, so, by the end, even nanami’s seemed to have caught that inescapable sense of fondness for utena. she comes entirely out of good will on her own accord to warn utena of akio, and doesn’t even consider giving up when utena brushes her advice aside.

she’s insistent on drilling into utena’s head that she should get out of that house—even though doing so wouldn’t benefit nanami at all. utena promptly points out how uncharacteristic of nanami this is:

to which nanami immediately snaps back with:

nanami’s essentially admitting that utena’s the one who’s permanently altered her character and made her much less of a selfish brat (although she still has a loooonnggg way to go, obviously) than she was prior to the series canon. utena’s the cause for everything, direct or indirect: clashing with touga, getting over her brief crush on miki, developing a sense of empathy while transitioning from a desire for social acceptance to a desire for social independence...it’s all been catalyzed by utena at some point.

so, in brief?

utena revolutionized nanami’s world (see, i can’t even look at that sentence without thinking about how gay it sounds).

OKAY, so first off: thank you so so much for reading this far! i want to get into my last point of contention now, which is a super subtle conversation between utena and nanami near the end of the series but speaks VOLUMES, but before i do, i just wanna show two marginally interesting screencaps that fit this theory suspiciously well because i really want to save the best part for last.

exhibit a:

nanami + physical contact’s only ever been shown in regards to her brother. and yet the second utena comes into the mix...well, despite how trivial this scene is, the reaction is pretty satisfying.

exhibit b: nanami’s reaction to juri in the video game.

just tattoo i love women onto your forehead next time, nanami.

now on to what is possibly my favorite exchange in the entire series—that’s how much i love the underlying subtleties in this scene. utena brings up having “blood type-B” when talking to nanami in said scene. why? because just a few episodes earlier...

nanami finds out touga’s blood type never correlated genetically with her family’s.

which, later on in the episode, she ends up telling utena (and the fact that at this point she’s trusting utena enough to even marginally tell her what this whole mess is about is gratifying in itself).

so basically, the importance of this conversation?

(for clarification: utena’s saying the first half, and nanami’s saying the dialogue on the bottom-most screencap).

it shows the COMPLETE 180 nanami and utena’s relationship has gone through. misunderstandings and petty arguments and hostilities into something that’s blossomed through adversity to a relationship of mutual understanding. and, it feels like, for the first time in either of their lives, they’re actually in the loop on something, rather than being hopelessly confused in a maze of the bells and whistles of student council, the mystery behind the eternity duelists seek at the arena, the end of the world, the complete enigma that is touga kiryuu, and can finally just interact in this sort of liberating way that shows both of them at their best with one another.

and what i love about this is that nanami doesn’t get mad at utena. she doesn’t snap about how she spoke too soon about the whole incident. it’s questionable if she even cares about the whole incident now, considering the ties she broke off with touga at the climax of her second duel. rather, she knows what utena’s jokingly pointing at, and the two are in a mutual understanding of how much they’ve been through together in the hellscape that is ohtori academy.

but, the BEST part of this entire exchange? the part that shows probably the first time nanami’s ever gotten actual happiness from someone, something that shows that she’s finally past the superficial happiness from her unwitting adoration of touga that’s essentially been crumbled to dust by the end of her character arc, allowing her to finally set aside pleasing others and end up potentially discovering herself, far from when she first met utena?

nanami’s final reaction to her.

#revolutionary girl utena #nanami kiryuu #utena #rgu #let nanami...........have a gf..........2k17 to forever...........#meta #my meta

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