#merkel imagine

[emmyrosee]

Preferences

BECAUSE MORE IS ALWAYS BETTER.

Sleepiest

Touch Starved

Dancing

Haircut Comfort

Trypanophobia

First Words -dad!au

PDA

When You’re Sick

Angry

Temper Tantrums -dad!au

Needy For Him

Getting into Fights

Fatherhood -dad!au

Expecting -dad!au

   The Sequel -dad!au

Halloween

Name Calling

Failing a Course

Norman F*cking Rockwell!

Playfighting

Pandemic Life

Incorrect Heights

ASMR

Coolest Instagrams

Fainting

A Cuddle Pile

What They Smell Like

Stoned

Sick Boys 

   The Sequel

Footie Pajamas

Random Headcanons

Breakfast Lovers

Their Tattoos

Holding Their Tiny Humans

All He Wishes To Give

Chefs and Liabilities 

NSFW Content. Reader Discretion Advised. Minors DNI.

Spanking Styles

Size Kink

Safewords

Moans and Noises

Pegging Them

Get You to Sleep

Lingerie Shopping

First Time

[hte-spagheti]

they need 2 make kt tape in more fun colors blue is not cutting it. black works i guess but its not fun. yellow. or black and yellow stripes would b ideal. black and white stripes at least come on

[kornealla]

If I had a nickel for everytime I developed a crush on an old married man with a noticeable lack of lips and a questionable accent I would have 2 nickels

Which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice

[tparker48]

Request for anonymous

"Let's see..add a few fine tuning on the stitches, tighten up the bells…" Merkeo muttered as he faced his computer desk, threading a needle through his jester suit. "Just a little bit of tugging and..There!”

He took a step back to admire his handy work. The black and red spandex glistened beneath his lamp, slumping from the miniature desk to the wooden board of the one beneath. It took him weeks to find a suit customizable, he could hardly count the shops he visited that sold suits for people his size. He took the suit from the desk, reminiscing its silky texture as it glided between his fingertips.

"Wait until the the peeps get a load of this, I can already tell this DnD session will be-"

A beep rang from the magnet on the front door, a hard thud striking the panel as a spiked cleat forced it to the wall. "Hey nerd! Guess who's home!" A voice boomed as the rest of their body lowered into the frame, the metal borders of the door screaming as they made their way passed. "I swear this damn door needs an adjustment. Hey nerd! Nerd!"

"I'm right here, Fervin!" Merkeo shouted, rubbing his ears from the vibrations in his ear drums. "Must you shout so loud? We're in a dormitory."

"What can I say? when I make an entrance, I make an entrance."

He slumped his duffel bag from his shoulder, tossing it against the wall as its weight sent a pulse through the floor. Merkel watched as his form strolled closer, like a looming storm cloud about to pour upon a landscape. The computer chair rushed back, Fervin's hide forcing the cushion down as it raced eagerly to support him.

He crossed his arms behind his back. "Oh it feels good to be out of that lecture room. The professor really cracked down on that essay, even double checked to ensure it was mine. Guess some pencil necks can’t handle such great genius."

"You mean my work. My whole sleep schedule’s out of whack because of your pestering."

the desk shook as spikes prodded upon the table. Merkel nearly yelped at its prickling touch, his hands casting to the air. "And it worked like a charm." He kicked his other foot upon the table. But he paused as he gazed at the slim ware hanging from his foot. “Huh, what are those? pajamas?”

The footwear wagged as Merkeo raced to retrieve his suit, cautiously eying the coned steel as they swiped from side to side. “If you must know, It’s my jester suit. And I would very much like it without holes for DnD.”

"That nerd shit? Pfft, lame. You can’t expect to get babes with a thing like that. Now that spring break party tonight, that’s where it’s really at. And guess who’s cohost? This guy!”

Merkeo managed to grab ahold of his suit, sliding it from the cold pedestal as he tumbled back to the desk. "You? Cohost? I don’t think they chose wisely on that."

“Cute, can’t be surprised to hear that from a bookworm. But If there’s one thing I know, it’s how to party.” He said. “The drinks, the babes, I can already imagine it now. And by the end of the night, I’m gonna bang me a cheerleader."

He raised his palms to the air, his fingers swaying to trace an hourglass shape. His hips slowly began to thrust, his junk pushing through from its pouch as it slithered to the leg hole of his shorts. Merkeo caught a glimpse as the phallus peeked out, shielding his eyes as his face flushed red.

"Ay Ay! TMI man, I don't want to see all that!"

"Aww is the nerd getting flustered?" His legs stretching over the desk, the hefty package between his legs gyrating against the wooden furniture. "I bet you wish you could be all over this."

"I’d rather do quizzes than be that close to you." he replied, "Will you put that away already?!"

"Hah, that's what I like about you nerds, always so squeamish." he slid his waist back to the chair, groping at the bulky outline. "Luckily for you, this bad boy has its eyes set on the ladies tonight. It can't waste time on small fries like you. Though it might give that thin noodle of yours some pointers."

"Thanks, but no thanks."

"Peh, suit yourself."

He grabbed a few beer bottles, hoisting them over his broad shoulders as he walked out of the room. Merkeo sighed, taking back to his suit as he checked for punctured points. Aside from dust particles, the fabric was unscaved. Thank goodness, he didn't know what he’d do if it became damaged.

He returned to his desk to tend to the rest of his props, organizing the board and creatures he was ready to unleash upon his members. Another hour ticked by in a flash, his notes piling over one another from his practice sessions. He yawned as he checked the clock on the wall, a quarter past 7:00 PM.

“Time for a break.” he leaned into his chair.

He took to his computer as he looked into his group chat for the group. Many online were already talking about the upcoming session, sharing new lores while roleplaying in their own channels. What a treat it was to indulge in fantasy, he thought, may he could give them a taste of the jester magic. He reached for his cards to select to share, but paused as he eyed his costume. He eyed the group chat as many shared their costumes, it sent an urge through his body, his fingers wiggling at the temptation of trying it on. He didn’t want to spoil the magic with a picture, but to send a picture of their grad DM, it may just make them excited, if not himself.

“Oh.. why not, I still have to make sure it fits anyway.”

He picked up the costume as he held it on his shoulder, stripping himself as the cool conditioning washed over him like a wave. He slipped his limbs inside, his hairs standing on end as they brushed against the elastic spandex. He soon put on his Cap n Bells as they dangled from the sides of his head, its little chimes sending a giggle from inside as he tapped at the round spheres.

“I think a quick selfie might do the trick. ‘The crowned jester and his future pawns’. Oo, that kinda has a ring to it.

He hovered his phone to get a better angle for himself, shifting the filter as sparkles boarded the frame. But the ground shook beneath as he caught himself, the water bottle on the desk rippling. An earthquake? It can’t be, the tectonic plate wasn’t near the university. Heavy thumps slowly overwhelmed the silent rumbles, traveling through the walls before it stopped at the front door.

The magnet chimed, but the handle didn’t turn as grumbling lingered behind it. The magnet reactivated, and pounds struck the door, as if a wild beast was trying to force its way in. Merkeo eyed the door as its pounds became aggressive, the green lighting of the magnet flickering before another strike snuffed out its light. The door slammed open, and wallowing filled the room.

Fervin loomed inside as he entered. One of his shoes were missing, and his "Damn it all..who do they think I am?! I'm a fuckin'.. Football player!"

His weight leaned as his feet stomped forward, like a drunk T-rex trying to run as he staggered to couch. He tripped over his own feet as he hurled toward the cushion, knocking the couch from its sliders as his head wedged into the soft gaps.

Merkeo used the railing in the room to make it over to the couch, standing upon the armchair. "The hell happened to you?"

"It's horrible..I go all that way to seek her out..An.. the hag blue balled me. Me!" He groaned into the cushions, scraping from its soft crevice. “You know how many want to..to.. Fuck me?!"

Fervin turned his head, his roaring breath flowing out like a dragon. Merkeo fanned the air as the smell of alcohol polluted the once clean air, holding the collar of his suit over his mouth to deter himself from passing out.

“You went and got yourself again! Didn’t you learn from the last party you went to.”

“Screw you!.. I don’t take orders from you! Why I..I” tears slowly sleeping through his eyes, a whimper escaping. “Damn it all..why do they have to make it so hard?”

Merkeo palmed himself. He must’ve drank too much if he’s already at his wallowing state. He sighed before hopping to the side of the lughead's face, caressing his cheek as its warmth filled his palm. "Hey now..you. There's no need to fuss about one girl." He said to him, wincing at the drool wetting his pants. "There's many out there in the sea, and I'm sure there's some out there waiting for him."

"Yeah right!" He blurted, knocking Merkeo onto his butt. " That's not gonna solve my aching cock right now!"

Fervin dug a finger through his waistband, the jock’s musk mixing with the tainted air as flesh squeaked against the sofa’s rubbery surface. The forearm above Steamrolled Merkeo as it traversed toward the bulging phallus, answering its wet call as his stubby fingers pampered its side. It throbbed it wedged itself between the crevice of the cushions, the jock’s hips flexing as he shuttered.

“Oh Yeah..that’s the stuff.” He muttered, his hips pumping into the couch.

"Dude! Not in the living room! Do that somewhere else."

"Sue me..I'm too pissed and horny to move."

His strokes increased as his hips moved like a wave, the wet slap of flesh overwhelming the silence in the room. Merkeo raced to comfort his ears as he moved to a cubard, searching through his supplies. He flipped over towels stashed in the corner, and found a plastic bottle of water sticking out from its packet. He wrapped his arms around the slender bottle and dragged it out, heaving it toward his drunken roommate on the couch.

“Alright, let’s get you sober so you don’t break the wall again?” Merkeo said.

Fervin grumbled as his knees slumped beneath him, thrusting him upward as his wait trailed backwards. Merkeo eyed cautiously at his blundering, backtracking as the stumbling feet trailed closer.

“I didn’t say move!” he yelped, rolling the bottle the opposite way.

But he wasn’t fast enough to outrun Fervin, his feet kicking in front of the other as he tilted like a chopped tree. The floor darkened before a wall of mass crashed at his back, burly arms planting the ground with a thunderous thump.

“That lady’s cheeks were cold… I’m barely s..satisfied.” He pawed the ground. “I need more!”

“Well you’re not getting one when you're on top of me! Now get off!”

His glassy eyes opened as he glared at him. "Piss off, man! I don’t need your..” he paused as he stared at the small roommate, his eyes blinking before they widened.

Merkeo met his gaze, looking at the marbled floor before looking back. "What?"

"Hey..where’d this toy come? Ho..How long have you been there?"

“Toy?" He blinked, tugging at his suit. "No, this is my suit, remember?"

"And it talks!..oh man..This must be my lucky day.”

"I have no idea what you're talking about. All that booze has gotten to your head. Why don't you go lay down and-" A palm wrapped around his body, plucking him from underneath. "Hey!"

His hand gripped like a vice, Fervin hauling him away as he returned to the couch with a drunken waltz. He was hurled into the closed fist as his back met with the soft cushion. He strung themselves to to the floor, a signal that rushed to the titanic cock as it pointed from his body. Merkeo pounded a hand at the sides of the jock’s fingers, the other covering his nose as the smell of rubber and jizz invaded his nostrils.

The phallus loomed closer, stamping at the gap between the middle fingers as it struck his chest. "A perfect fit..awesome." He slurred beneath his breath, his palms lifting as Merkeo plunged into the cavern of the couch, the bulbous head stamping his chin as it ensnared between his walls.

As the cock reached the bottom of the gap, it was a catalyst for Fervin’s arousal as hips began to pump. Flesh skidded against the silky suit, the phallus ramming into a pocket above Merkeo as the little bells were swallowed by the slit. Its warmth was overwhelming, his nostrils filling with a sour aroma as it stuck to his suit like cologne..

Merkeo raised his arms to shield himself. "Wait!…I'm not!.."

"Just a little more..a little more."

Fervin doubled his efforts as his hips twisted in place. The sweat that once dried between the cushions humidified as it loosened its restraints upon the tender skin, joined by the drizzling pre as it lathered into his roommate’s skin like lotion. The phallus scooped higher as it smashed Merkeo’s defense, the puffed edges moving like a wave as it stamped at his face.

He was stamped firmly as seed dressed his head, but unsatisfied puffs echoed above, a palm dragging him from underneath the bulging member. "Nrgh..that's not enough!" Fervin slurred from his lips. "How are you going to be a toy if you can't even get me off?"

"That's because I'm not a toy you lughead!"

His eyes squinted, eying the little roommates as strands of his own pre dripped to the couch. "Wha?..sure you are..I'm looking right at you." His fingers stamped across his body, the lonely bell on his right tuft jangling at his prods. "You look like a toy..feel like a toy. You are one…I'm just not using it right."

Gravity shifted as the palm tilted on its side, hovering over the hairy crotch. His other pinched eagerly at the drooling slit, pinching it open as its seed flowed down its underbelly like lava.

"What..what are you doing? No, hell no! You're not putting' me in there!"

"You better make this work..toy!"

"I told you I'm not a-!" his stomach dropped as the palm rushed toward the cock, a wet belch erupting from the cream filled phallus as it opened wide. Murky white fluid filled his vision as the orifice encircled his head. His shouts muffled from the bulging head, his palms slipping from the sides of phallus

Fervin's cock throbbed as it suckled at its meal. "Yeah…yeah that's the stuff. Get..right in there."

The palm loosed as fingers climbed over his feet, feeding more of Merkeo inside as its underbelly bulged with his body. With a giddish chuckle, he corkscrewed the rest of his feet inside as the slit closed. Wads of pre rushed into his body as it blinded him of the trip ahead, the muscular tube getting thickening as a suction pulled at his body.

A mere lump cast itself upon the jock's shaft, pulse after pulse dragging him down as it squeezed into the base of the shaft and into his prostate. More seed flooded the tender bean as the valve closed behind him, leaving him at the mercy of the muscular waves as it tenderized his body. He struggled to hold them back, his limbs sinking into their surface as he tried to find a way out. Pressure tugged at his feet, yanking him into the source of the musky fluid as he was dragged through the labyrinth swirling in the Jock's waist.

He held his breath as he was dragged through its loops, before he found him at its ridge as he slid through a long tube. He was deposited inside an enclosed sac, the walls forcing him to lay straight as if he were in an airtight compartment.

"Damn it Fervin, this has gotten way too far!!" he scowled, Worming himself toward the valve that winked out of reach, taunting at his predicament before it vanished behind a fold of seed coated flesh.

His calls were left unanswered, drowned out by the jock's beastly grunts as it reverberated through the walls.

wet slaps came from outside, jostling the testicle as if it were a fish bag. "That's the job..right there!" Fervin huffed louder.

The jock roared as the walls shrank around Merkeo’s body, the valve above him slurping the pool from the chamber as climbed through the tubes. The ceiling spasmed as spurts muffled the walls, Merkeo took the chance to breathe, but shriveled as his lungs filled with the ripe aroma of salt and bodily fluids. He squirmed along the walls to follow the fluid out, but his fingers wouldn't register as the stiff folds pucker in place.

Droplets of the lukewarm substance dripped at his back, and he groaned. "There, you had your little release. Now get me out of this thing!" He paused to hear the outside, the heavy wet thumps shaking the chamber as he swayed in place. "Hey! Are you listening?"

"Oh man..you are a good toy." He muttered, his voice distorted as if he were a broken speaker. "Ah really…good one."

"Yeah yeah, great, now get me out!"

Fervin’s words slowed as they traveled through his body. Gravity flicked as a heavy mass compressed the ceiling. The layer of flesh surrounding the testicle squashed at his torso.. The jock's breath grew heavy, rattling the muscles like rusted gears. He's kidding, he thought to himself, he sends him down his cock and now he's taking a snooze?

"You’re not sleeping with me in here!." He shouted. "Wake your ass up!"

He rattled the sac like an ape in a cage, thrashing himself in the compressed space to disrupt Fervin’s sound slumber. It was only when his knees cushioned into the round testicle did he get a reaction, the jock's body springing to life as a moan howled through the environment. Gravity shifted again, and the flesh barricading the orb pinned him down as the round lump cushioned his face.

He groaned as it tucked him against the corner wall, singing its whale songs of gurgles and churns to its captive audience. "Damn it.."

The hours ticked by since the events of that evening. Fervin tossed in his slumber, snarling from his nostrils as he rocked over the arms of the sofa. He stretched his limbs to scratch himself, but fell backwards as gravity pulled him to the floor. Sunlight erupted from the winder, burning into his eyes like a flashbang as he groggily got up.

He picked himself up from the floor, his balance tumbling to the cushion as he caught himself.. "Fuck what a night, all that partying really tired me out.." He scratched absently at his crotch, warm skin sticking to his fingers as he cocked it back, His barreled cock resting between his legs. “Where the fuck did my shorts go?..”

He stretched before getting up from the couch, giving one last yawn as he fetched a protein shake from the fridge. He looked at his roommates' things, his props scattered along the tabletop as his cotton bed was toppled from the windowsill. The nerd’s already gone, he thought, guess he decided to leave early for spring break. That’s good, he didn’t have to worry about underwear then. He drank at his shake and moved onto his side of the room, kicking his suitcase between his legs. He crumpled his clothes, tossing them inside as a hill slowly formed.

He scratched at himself once more, reminiscing at his fingers touch as his nut flexed over them. But he squinted as he gazed at the round sphere. Something was different about them, his right testicle sagged lower than the other. He fondled beneath its weight as his cock throbbed. It might just be his imagination, he did hold a lot of his seed in there last evening.

"I’m sorry big boy, I got too drunk to enjoy you properly.” He massaged his shaft. “But I bet you got plenty of rest after you had your fun."

"Absolutely not?"

He blinked at the sudden voice, looking at his Cock. He poked at its pudgy surface for a response, but it only throbbed. "Heh..hehe, I must have had way too many shots last night. Thought I just heard my cock talking."

"Not the cock you idiot!" The voice echoed again.

He cocked a brow as he stared at his member, movement rising beneath the sagging right testicle. He scooped his sac into his palm, pinching at the active orb as he rotated it. A squirming lump curled along its edge, a soft imprint appearing before a flex pulled it down.

His palm flung from his ball, letting them swing between his legs as his heart pounded. "What the hell did I drink last night?! My ball's coming alive!"

"No, It's me! Merkeo!"

"Merkeo?" He paused, looking back at the wiggling lump. He poked at its side, a pathetic whimper escaping from it. "It is you, nerd! The hell are you doing in my balls!"

"Take a guess! You shoved me in here on another one of your drunk sprees."

"Drunk spree? I don't know what the hell you're talking about." He said. “As far as I can remember I was alone..then again, there was this talking toy. Don’t remember much but it kept squawking about not being a..toy. Huh, well that explains all the whining.”

“You fucked me into the couch.”

He groaned upon the nerd’s response "Yeah well..you should’ve been more careful. It’s not my fault you’re in there.”

“It literally is!"

"Potato, Potato."

He moved toward the glass mirror along the wall, reaching , putting on his underwear as he got dressed. He pulled the back as the thin fabric saddled his glutes, letting his cock spill over the pouch as he took to his suitcase.

His nuts jangled together like wind chimes, crashing into his thighs. "What are you doing now?"

"What do you think I’m doing? I’m packing for the weekend. I’ve got shit to do back at home, and since you're stuck with me, you'll just have to tag along until we get back."

"What?! I'm not staying in here! DnD is this weekend!" Merkel said, pressure climbed through his epididymis to the valve connecting to the rest of the cock. The right nut sway passively, flexing as the sensation of fingers prodded at the tight folds. "Gotta get..out of this thing!"

The jock snorted at the attempt. "Oh boy, aren't you nerds supposed to be smart or something? My cock doesn't take orders from nerds, it listens to one that has the oomph to shake it. And that's yours truly."

"Then get on with it already."

"You’d love that wouldn’t you? To see yourself ejected from a real cock." he fondled his nuts between his fingers. "Unfortunately I’m still spent. It's gonna be a long while before these babies are ready for another round."

“And how long would that take.”

“Hell if I know, 3 hours or so.” “Three hours?!”

“Yup, so might as well get comfy until I fetch for you.”

He raised his cock over the flap, sealing it inside the pouch as he tied his shorts. He reeled his luggage into the hallway, following the narrow passageway toward the elevator in the crossway. Movement shifted as Merke tried to adjust in the compact space, the bulk of Fervin’s nuts dog piling his lump as it jostled in the pouch of his jockstrap. That nerd really knows how to get under his skin. Literally. Though he'll give him one thing, it felt good to have his balls stimulated, like a hot girl playing with his balls. The elevator doors opened, and he stepped inside. As they closed, he groped at his crotch, humping at the air.

He picked up a soft whimper from beneath the fabric, pressure building at his testicle as soft kneads rested upon it. He still didn’t know how to feel above having the nerd in there,but at least he’ll help filling him up back home..

The ride with Fervin was a long and bumpy trip. Every passing moment was filled with flesh jumbling Merkeo around, marinating him in the little puddle that climbed at his ankles as the testicular wall shriveled and compressed. He didn't know how far they traveled, the outside was too muffled to depth the surrounding environment except for the purrs of jock’s vehicle. After another eternity of stewing in the jock's balls, inertia pulled ahead as his face was wrapped in a sheet of muscle.

His steps boomed as a door creaked open, the sound of a zipper being undone as the sac rolled on its side. "Ah, it's good to be back home." Fervin’s voice distorted through the walls..

Merkeo padded at the soft tissue to get the jock's attention, the testicle spooning into his torso. His palms were pinned by the protruding bulge, only managing to use his ankles as he bucked weakly as the ridge of the testicle.

A heavy thud struck the balls, the soft curvature of fingers pressing at his back. "Eh? oh yeah, forgot you were in there."

Not a surprise. "It's been hours since I've been here. Can you get me out now?"

“I told you that’s not how my nuts work, nerd. They need the energy to get them started.”

“You said you needed three hours!”

Fervin laughed heartily. “I said It’d take me three hours to fill them, I never said I’d be ready to release it.”

The sac shook as its contents plonked around, the seed secreting from the wall spreading out as they washed over Merkeo’s body. His stomach dropped as the fingers let go, the nuts beginning to sway as steps boomed outside. A soft pressure cushion at the walls, tight leather scrunching beneath him.

“Been a while since I checked on the game” Fervin said. “I wonder if my K/D is still intact.”

The jock’s weight shifted as the sac tilted, forcing Merkeo to spoon beneath the rough lump as seed polled at his shoulders. Fervin's voice could be heard beyond the walls, blurting comments as a controller clunked high above. His obnoxious bantering went on for another hour, his balls rocking periodically as a finger scratched at the testicular layer. Merkeo tried again to get him to answer, splashing at the pool of seed that splashed beneath his chin. But he only received a brush from one of the thighs, followed by cursing as he shouted at someone in the game.

Outside the sun loomed past the hill in the window, the crimson sky slowly turning blue as the moon rose from the horizon. Merkeo tilted his neck as he faced the quivering sphincter above, counting its flexes as seed drooled from its lips. It’s all he could do, with his limbs bathed into the milky pool as the muscle flexed in place.

“Fuck yeah!” Fervin’s voice blurted,the testicles thrusting forward before snagged. “Hope you like that grenade yas wuss! That’ll teach ya to steal my kill!”

“Fervin!” Merkeo called out, thrashing against the tender wall. “Fervin!”

The chamber shifted, pressure applying to his back. “What now nerd?”

“Are you ready yet? It’s getting kind of full in here.”

“Hmm..They are kinda heavy…” the pressure behind him pushed at his body, a thrust sending a wave over the little roommate. “And I’m already pumped as it is, why not.”

“Yes! Finally!”

A rumble boomed above, a bubbling torrent shaking the walls as pressure melted behind him. “Shit, I forgot all about dinner. Can’t wank one out on an empty stomach.”

Merkeo swayed as Fervin traversed the household, his steps hardening as it traveled through his body. Wrappers muffled from above as the jock giggled to himself, followed by a meaty crunch as he chewed on his food. He listened to symphony of crumpled wrappers and munching for moments, and still he had yet finished his feast. The fluid climbed higher, dosing his ears as if they dipping sauce.

The walls flexed, and he raced to force them back. “It's getting a little cramped in here, are you ready to release yet?” “Eh? Release what?”

“Your seed!”

“Oh yeah yeah, I’ll get right on it. Just..” an announcer muffled from outside, followed by bells as cheer muttered in the background. “Oo, the playoffs! I forgot that aired today.” He walked over as the sounds came closer, springs creaking beneath him.

“Wait a second, get me out first.”

“Don’t sweat it, it won’t be long. I’ll have you out by halftime, jock’s promise.”

Merkeo groaned at the response, working his limbs close to deter the walls from overtaking the pocket. He didn’t know if he could bear the salty aroma, each whiff was like intaking smelling salt, forcing him to buck at the round testicle that threatened to submerge him without hesitation. Buzzing rang from beneath him as a bubbled climbed into the pocket, his phone emerging from the pool as a notification was plastered upon it.

It was from one of the members, sending a message about the meet for tomorrow. He fiddled a finger toward its direction, its angled edge taping at his fingertips, before a fold greedily dragged it out of sight. He sighed as he faced the wall, thrashing it about to get Fervin’s attention. This time there was no response, all except his goofish giggling as he mocked the game. He couldn’t do anything but wait, tugging into the soggy fold as he closed his eyes.

A few minutes passed as he opened his eyes, once chaotic background softening as snores followed behind it. He was still in his balls, and he was fast asleep. In rage, he thrashed about the chamber to cause discomfort, swiping at the lump at his torso despite how weakly his limbs slipped off.

A roaring ocean filled his ears, as the side of his hear were submerged in milky pool. In shriveled defeat, he closed his eyes, awaiting for the jock to wake up once more. DnD was tomorrow, and he couldn’t stand being trapped in his nuts for a moment more. —-------------------------------------- Throughout the next day, he slept to conserve his energy, listening to Fervin’s wandering as carried out his activities. When waved of seed flowed into his nostrils, he shot awake, kicking the testicle as a jolt shook the walls. A groan escaped from the jock as fingers took to his balls, forcing him to adjust as the chamber tilted it’s side.

“Watch where you’re kicking in there will ya?” Ferman demanded. “These babies are to be treated with care!”

“These babies are a nightmare, I’ve been stewing in here for god now’s how long!”

“Oh please, you barely move in there, it can’t be that bad.” “You’re not the one neck deep in side!” He bent his knees to open more space, driving his feet into the sides of the testicular wall.

Its flesh raced to subdue, contracting its muscle around him like a snake. But he refused to let himself cave under its pressures, prying at the opposite wall.

Fervin’s body twisted. “What are you doing?”

“DnD is tonight, I can’t stay in your balls any longer. And if I have to cause a ruckus, then so be it!”

His body lit ablaze as he took to the lump, kneading into the tender walls as the testicle throbbed beneath its layer. Fervin’s fingers raced to subdue his efforts, but the sac was too full to add enough pressure, Merkeo using it as a shield as battered the walls with his own body.

After moments of struggling, a roar of defeat erupted from Fervin." Fuck it! Fine I’ll get you out.” he announced. “Was getting tired of hauling you around anyway."

The testicles swayed as he wandered outside. It wasn't long before pressure built beneath, the opposite testicle shifting before it dropped off a ledge. The sound of wet slaps returned from above, sending ripples in the chamber as the testicular sac compressed Merkeo's face.

"Ugh, my suit is so ruined, can't you pump faster?"

"Don't get your tidy widdies in bunch ya nerd, I'm almost there."

The walls flexed harder, compressing his feet as he squeezed along the hump like paste in a canister. The valve slowly began to quiver, widening slowly a seed rushed through its mouth. It flowed into its tubes like a pipeline, gulping periodically at the substance as he himself was pulled close to its lips.

Strands of his own hair were plucked between the soggy lips, crowning his head as seed piled his shoulder. But flex ceased as the narrow tube dried up, clamping at his head as seed disappeared into the abyss above. "What the? What's the hold up?"

A muffled ring vibrated the walls, the pounds halting as the jock shifted slowly. "Got a call." Fervin said, answering the device. "Bandi, my boy, what's up? Yeah I’ve been in town, just letting out some steam."

"Hey! Don't stop, keep going!"

"Give me a fucking minute, I'll get there…no no, just talking to a nerd is all I-…wait seriously?! Oh shit, count me in!"

The sac rattled from the jock’s excitement. "What are you doing out there?"

"The boys found a goldmine for some chicks from the cheerleading squad at the university. Looks we're heading to the bar."

"What?! What about me?! You still have to take me out!"

"I'll fetcha ya later, Right now I gotta fetch old faithful from the drawers. I'm gonna catch me a big one tonight"

The chamber thrashed as he braced himself for another tide, the thick goop dragging down his body like syrup. He stretched his limbs to pierce the tender muscle, but pouted at the meat pocket. Unbelievable, he was about to be free from this hellhole before that phone call. He couldn’t bear more of Fervin’s antiques for god knows how, but it appears he didn’t have much choice.. Before he knew it, the chamber moved as steps trailed outside, a door muffling open as the purrs of the truck returned.

And so began the trip to the bar. Voices muffled from the walls as Fervin greeted his friends, softer tones following them as he assumed they were women. His hips gyrating was the confirmation he needed, if not rhythmic throbbing from the shaft.

The minutes felt like an eternity as jazz played from the bar, glasses clanging together as the jock’s obnoxious chattering filled the void. His ears submerged in seed was a mercy compared to listening to the awful pick up lines he spewed from his mouth.

"This is so humiliating." he groaned.

"Hey baby, there's no need to take a seat on these raggedy old chairs, come take a gander at this one" Fervin said, heavy thumps causing the sac to dip.

Pressure ensued as the testicle rolled at his back. His torso sunk like an island landscape, dipping beneath the murky fluid as it climbed to his chin. He struggled beneath the titanic weight above, the thigh outside bouncing as it jostled the chamber..

"Oh my, you make a pretty good seat." A woman's voice said above.

"Oh ho baby, I can do more than just cushion."

"Oh for fuck sake." Merkeo covered his ears, hoping to drown out the conversation.

Another hour drew by as he listened to the oaf's bantering. At one point, chattering dwindled before the nutsack spilled forward, and the crushing weight was relieved. Fervin was on the move, the sounds of the bar growing distant until it became white noise in the background.

He scraped the wall before placing his ear against it, curiosity overwhelming him as he listened to the jock’s steps. The zipper of the pants were undone, and he spilled forward as flesh caught his fall.

"Here they are my dear, my pride and enjoy in all its glory."

"You weren't lying, it certainly is thick."

“He’s with a girl, of course he is.” his side cramp as a lump fondled his back, He squirmed to ease its protrusion, elbowing the testicle as the jock released a grunt.

"Is everything all alright?" The woman asked.

"Oh yeah sure, everything is just fine. Just a little..excited is all." Fervin replied. "Afterall, how can a guy not melt for a hot doll like yourself."

The chamber shook as the lump flattened, seed rushing from the other end like a dam as it splashed into Merkeo. Slow wet pounds filled the void, the testicle compressing before it squashed into his body. A disgruntled moan pierced the air as the sac swayed forward, a dulled edge separating the balls as softer moans echoed ahead..

God, She's sucking him off, as if his problem weren't already wacky enough. He fought the testicle to plug his ears, but its ridge forced them away, allowing the demented display to continuing as it intensified. The pressure returned as digits cupped behind him, thinner than the ones before as their pointy ends prodded his back.

The pool increased as it climbed over his head, a current seeping into the valve as it widened closer. Muscle contraptions echoed beyond the thick walls, glurking as the women's moan grew fierce. The sac pulse, and the valve widened as it guzzled seed to the surface..

"Hope you're thirsty, cause I'm gonna unleash my load inside."

"Like hell you are!" Merkeo blurted, thrashing from the chamber.

The lump prodding at his back vanished beneath murky waves, the balls dropping as they bashed against the jock’s thigh. "Did your balls just talk?!" The woman squealed.

"N..no? Did you hear them talking? I..I didn't hear them talking."

"Disgusting! Absolutely disgusting."

The sound of boots muffled from the outside, growing softer as the chamber thrashed about. "No! Come on babe, Come back!" Fervin called desperately for her, the door slamming shut. A vice grip wrapped the testicle, and Merkeo was smothered into the walls. "Damn it you nerd, you scared her off!"

"I scared her off?! I was nearly protein for her! I'm trying to get out from inside you, not end up in another."

"Well congratulations cause now I'm fucking limp, thanks for that." A bang sounded from outside as the jock began to walk. "Can't believe I got cock blocked by a nerd."

The sac rocked between his legs as the creaking door lingered from overhead, trailing off somewhere behind them as the sound of the roaring crowd returned. Merkeo tucked himself against the corner pocket of the chamber, it was the only place he could manage to breath without intaking the salty seed. He heard the jock's friend talking, reminiscing over the cheerleader storming out of the bar. His response wasn't pleasant, a squeeze smother the eager testicle against his head as if to point the blame upon him. but it relented as he relaxed, his balls drooping at the thigh.

He curled against the opposite wall, before a buzz rumbled from above, his phone squeezing from the compressed fold as it slid in front of him.

a photo appeared from beneath the milky substance, a group photo with his friends dressed in their fictional costumes. Speak of the devil, he thought, here comes the fruits of his labor reminding him of his failed attempt. What he would give to be there right now. He focused on the group photo, admiring the designs each of them chose to wear. but his eyes furrowed as he caught a glimpse of one of the members, his eyes widening.

"No way.."

That late night dragged into Sunday morning, as Fervin drove back into the dorm room as he tossed his backpack. Merkeo eyed the quivering sphincter above as its lips expanded, the walls compress as he catapulted into the tight tube. The ride up was rigid and slow, but fast enough to wipe seed clean from his skin before he squeezed back into the embrace of the jock's prostate. In a firm push he climbed up the urethral tube, skyrocketing into a tupperware container as he collided against the plastic wall.

The jock scorned above, the milky stream pouring faster as he shielded his face. "Alright that's enough!"

"Not yet it's not." Fervin said grumpily.

the stream pushed at his palms, piercing their way through as he slid into the smooth corner, it was only until his palm remained uncovered did it finally stop, and the slit sealed shut.

"Now it's finished” Fervin sneered at his handy work, shaking the drizzle from his cock before turning toward his stuff.

"Hold it!" Merkeo muttered, rising from the gunk. "We're.. we're not done."

"oh we're not huh? and what makes you say that?"

"You cost me the whole weekend! you have to make up for it!"

"Wha?.." the jock burst from laughter. "What are you on about, you're the nerd who got stuck in there in the first place."

"Only because you put me there. and nearly got me swallowed."

He rolled his eyes, fanning at the remark as Merkeo climbed out of the container. In a slippery leap, the little roommate lunged as he clung to the tufts of his jersey. It was like holding onto a moving vehicle, seed soaking his suit fanned to the luggage on the floor. Fervin drew closer to the computer desk, and jumped as he followed him to the tissue box, stomping at its opening as the giant palmed reached for it..

the jock's face soured. " You're really starting to get on my nerves."

"Likewise, but I'm not letting you off the hook. you’re going to pay up, right here, right now."

"Oh you gotta be shitting me." he chuckled. "Fuck it, I'll bite. What? What could a little nerd like you do to force me to pay you back."

He dug into the soggy pouch of his pocket of his suit, taking out his phone. He clicked at the photo, holding it to the air as Fervin's face loomed closer. "This is how!"

"Hah! What more nerds? Get over yourself."

"They may look like mere nerds to you. But one of them I'm sure you know quite well." he zoomed the photo closer, focusing on a woman dressed as a witch. "That lady right there is Cindy, the lead cheerleader of our university. I wonder what she might think if she finds out about our little mishap. I'm sure she'd love to share the adventure with the football captain."

The jock’s eyes widened before narrowing. "You don't have the balls to go through with that."

"Oh yeah? One already think's you have talking balls, I'm sure they can puzzle the rest if I speak up."

The jock growled, reaching a palm as the thick digits twitched in rage. it lunged forward, yanking a tissue from beneath Merkeo’s feet as it crumpled into a withered mess. "What do you have in mind?.."

"Heh."

"It's so good to see you again, Merkeo” Cindy greeted him, lowering a finger as he shook her hand. We missed you last night’s session. You’re wearing your night costume again?”

He scratched at his head, adjusting his cape. "Yeah, the other suit kinda got stuck in a rut. Fashion crisis am I right? But hey, we at least got time to catch up on a session. I even brought a plus one."

Heavy thuds came from the hallway, sharp squeaks lingering as a silhouette peered through the frame. An inflated dragon loomed in, Fervin’s soured face tucked beneath its chin as the rest of the rubbery suit hauled inside, he grumbled as he wrestled his tail inside, bumping it against the door.

"I'm sure you two know each other."

"We sure do.” Cindy said, “I didn't think he took part in DnD."

"You could say he had a change of heart." He replied, sharing glances with Fervin as his fiery gaze overshadowed the derpy expression of the inflatable.

They prepared the table as they all encircled it, Merkeo taking out the dice as many took their roles. scattered the props along the props behind the bordered sheet, he cleared his throat. "Alright ladies and gents, let’s begin. The adventurers set out upon the request of the king, a dragon has been spotted in a cave near the kingdom. You find the entrance and travel through its catacombs. There, surrounded by shimmering gold and diamonds, lay the beast. Sprawled upon its haunches as it snarled at your intrusion.”

Merkeo paused as he scooped the dice in hand, lending them to one of the members dressed as a wizard. “Care to start us off.”

"Oh Oh! I roll to ride the ride dragon"

"Try it and I'll flatten you like a crumpcake, pinhead!" Fervin snarled.

"Ah ah, not without a roll you're not." Merkeo assorted, nodding toward the little wizard.

The wizard squeed as they shook their hands in place, the dice jumbling like ice cubes as they rolled them to the thin sheet crossing the table. both dices toppled themselves, number nine marking the both of them.

"ooo, Nat 18. the wizard casts a construct to cast himself atop the dragon."

The wizard let out a high pitched squeal as They climbed aboard the inflatable forearm. Fervin eyed in disgust as the little one stood atop of him. the googly eyes of the dragon jangled as they clung to one of the ears, pulling it from one side of his body to the other.

the dragon squeaked as it smothered Fervin’s face, his neck jerking from side to side. "Hey! what the-?!"

“Wow, you really are pulling your weight." Merkeo said. I figured you'd make a good dragon.”

"Get them the fuck off me!"

"mm, not how it works. you gotta announce it, then roll."

"Oh for the-" he reached for the dice at the end of the table, fingers denting the barrier as they rattled. "The dragon attempts to throw the nuisance off."

He flung the dice forward, their forms streaking across the table like cannons as they pushed the barrier back. The dice came to a standstill, number one marking them both.

"Ooo two, the dragon failed to throw the wizard off. bummer."

"The hell?! what kind of bullshit is that I-"

"Our rodeo isn't over yet, dragon!" the wizard yelled, heaving at the inflated ears like reins. "Your hide will be a fine reward for my potions!"

"Crushing you is still on the table you damn pest!"

Merkeo watched as the two of them bicker, admiring the jock's flailing as he walked sluggishly against the walls. but he turned his head as Cindy whispered for his attention, lending an ear toward her.

"He seems pretty aggressive for a DnD player, Are you sure he's here to play?" She asked.

He looked toward the two once more, the wizard yanking backward as Fervin pivoted like a horse on a hill. He smiled as he placed a hand on his cheek. "Oh yeah, I'm sure."

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Tim Ganser at The UnPopulist:

Since the end of World War II, Germans had by and large steadfastly resisted voting for far-right populists. That norm was shattered in the last decade by the success of the political party Alternative für Deutschland (AfD), which seemed to gain more traction as it radicalized into a full-blown, hard right populist party. A year into its existence, spurred by widespread discontent with German fiscal policy, the AfD won seven seats in European Parliament. In 2017, after undergoing a hard-right turn, it won 94 seats in the German federal elections, good for third place overall. For the past year, the AfD has consistently ranked second in Politico’s poll aggregator tracking the public’s voting intentions.

In this Sunday’s European Parliament elections, roughly 1 in 6 German voters is expected to cast a ballot for the AfD, whose members have trivialized the Holocaust, encouraged their followers to chant Nazi slogans, and participated in a secret conference where they fantasized about forced deportations of naturalized citizens they derisively call “Passport Germans.” Worse still, the AfD is predicted to be the strongest party, with up to a third of the vote share, in the three elections for state parliament in Saxony and Thuringia on Sept. 1 and in Brandenburg on Sept. 22. And in generic polls for a hypothetical federal election, the AfD fares even better than it did in any previous election. How did Germany get to this point?

The AfD’s Origin Story

The AfD was founded in early 2013 by a group of conservatives, led by the economics professor, Bernd Lucke, greatly disillusioned with then-Chancellor Angela Merkel’s fiscal policy. In their view, the European debt crisis had revealed deep instability within the eurozone project as smaller nations found themselves unable to cope with the economic demands of membership, and they believed Merkel’s focus on saving the euro was coming at the expense of German economic interests. This was, however, the opposite of a populist complaint—in fact, the AfD was initially referred to as a “Professorenpartei” (a professor’s party) because of the party’s early support from various economics professors who were more interested in fiscal policy than catering to popular will. In its earliest days, the AfD could best be characterized as a cranky but respectable party of fiscal hardliners. Its anti-establishment posture stemmed entirely from its belief in the necessity of austerity. Even its name could be construed less as nationalistic and more an answer to the dictum coined by Merkel—“alternativlose Politik” (policy for which there is no alternative)—to defend her bailouts during the eurozone crisis.

Although the AfD had launched an abstract economic critique of Merkel’s policies that could be hard to parse for non-experts, its contrarian stance resonated with a significant portion of Germans. Right out of the gate, the AfD obtained the highest vote share of any new party since 1953, nearly clearing the 5% threshold for inclusion in the Bundestag, Germany’s Parliament, in its first electoral go round. Its success was also measurable in terms of membership, passing the 10,000 mark almost immediately after its formation. The rapid increase in membership, however, helped lay the groundwork for its turn toward right-wing populism. Perhaps due to pure negligence—or a combination of calculation and ambition—the party’s founders did little to stop right-wing populists from swelling its rolls. And as the German economy emerged through the European debt crisis in good financial shape, fiscal conservatism naturally faded from the public’s consciousness. However, a new European crisis having to do with migrants came to dominate the popular imagination. The AfD hardliners seized on the growing anti-migrant opinion, positioning the AfD as its champion, thereby cementing the party’s turn towards culture war issues like immigration and national identity.

Starting in late 2014, organized right-wing protesters took to the streets to loudly rail against Germany’s decision to admit Muslim migrants, many fleeing the Syrian civil war. The AfD right wing’s desire to become the political home of nativism led to a rift within the party that culminated in founder Bernd Lucke’s being ousted as leader in 2015, and his replacement with hardliner Frauke Petry. Lucke left the party entirely, citing its right-wing shift, following in the footsteps of what other party leaders had already done and more would do in the coming year. Up until this point, the AfD unwittingly helped the cause of right-wing populism. If the reactionary far-right had tried to start a party from scratch, it would have likely failed. The AfD, after all, was created within a respectable mold, trading on the credentials of its earliest founders and leaders. But with saner voices now pushed out, right-wing populists had the party with public respectability and an established name all to themselves. And they deliberately turned it into a Trojan horse for reactionary leaders who wanted to “fight the system from within.

[...]

A New Normal in Germany

As right-wing populist positions have become part of the political discourse, Germany is now in the exact same position as some of its European neighbors with established hardline populist parties. In Italy, Giorgia Meloni ascended to the premiership in October 2022 as the head of her neo-fascist Fratelli d’Italia party, which is poised to perform well in the upcoming European Parliament elections. In France, the Marine Le Pen-led far-right Rassemblement National (RN) is set to bag a third of votes in those elections, roughly double what President Macron’s governing coalition is expected to obtain.

What makes the situation in Germany especially worrisome is that, unlike in France and Italy, far-right parties had failed to garner any meaningful vote share in nationwide elections until just seven years ago; indeed, until the 2017 federal election, there had never been a right-wing populist party that had received more than six percent of the national vote in Germany. The nation’s special vigilance toward far right ethnonationalism in light of its history of Nazi atrocities was expected to spare Germany the resurgence of far-right populism. But it actually led to complacency among mainstream parties. By 2017, the AfD—already in its right-wing populist phase—received nearly 13% of the vote in the federal election to become the third-strongest parliamentary entity. And by then it had also made inroads in all state parliaments as well as the European Parliament. The norm against it was officially gone.

To be sure, the AfD is not on track to take over German politics. It currently has the fifth most seats among all German parties in the Bundestag, fourth most seats among German parties in the European Parliament, and is a distant eighth in party membership. Nor is it currently a threat to dominate European politics—late last month, the AfD was ousted from the Marine Le Pen-led Identity and Democracy (ID) party coalition, the most right-wing group in the European Parliament. Le Pen, herself a far-right radical, explained the AfD’s expulsion by describing the party as “clearly controlled by radical groups.” But none of the above offer good grounds for thinking the AfD will be relegated to the fringes of German or European politics.

After the election, the AfD could rejoin ID, or it could form a new, even more radical right-wing presence within the European Parliament. Some fear that the AfD could potentially join forces with Bulgaria’s ultranationalist Vazrazhdane. Its leader, Kostadin Kostadinov, said that AfD’s expulsion from ID could create an opening to form “a real conservative and sovereigntist group in the European Parliament.” Also, ID’s removal of the AfD wasn’t due to its stated policy platform being out of step with Europe’s right-wing populist project. Rather, it was because the AfD’s leading candidate, Maximillian Krah, was implicated in a corruption and spying scandal involving China and Russia, and because he said he would not automatically construe a member of the Nazi Schutzstaffel (SS) to be a criminal. Absent these entirely preventable missteps, the AfD would be in good standing with right-wing populist partners in Europe.

Seeing far-right Nazi-esque Alternative für Deutschland (AfD) rise in prominence in Germany is a sad sight.

[adeadcreator]

Hi, how r you ? Can I ask some angst with Jotaro please ?

I'm not sure how to explain it, but if you could do something like the fact that he acts coldly towards Y/N even though he loves her? I'm really sorry, I can't express myself properly, but to sum it up, something angsty but not in the sense that there is a separation or anything like that.

Of course, only do it if you want to!

(I'm not a native English so my apologies if I wrote something wrong)

I'm not native English speaker either so don't be sorry! I love writing angst(Even though I don't know how to) every once in and while It’s one of my favorite things to do :)

You weren’t sure what to expect when getting into a relationship with Jotaro, you knew just how cold he could be toward people but never in your life did you imagine your relationship not being seen as one. Of course, you knew he cared for you to a certain level, considering he does look out for you when you least expected it, but you never considered him to be this cold toward you.

By now you were used to his cold diameter, always brushing your attempts to be affectionate in public or even seemingly ignoring you when you talked to him. His mother Holly, bless her soul, did tell you how he was before “He might be rough around the edges and cold towards you but he truly cares about you!” and yet you still yearned to be affectionate to each other, even if it meant holding pinkies out in public. 

But no here you sat next to him on top of the roof of your school, the air wasn’t filled with love and hearts as you imagined many times, only the same environment when you and Jotaro arrived in. You both silently ate your respective lunches, neither one of you sparking a conversation, knowing the end result. 

The broad boy seemed to be in an internal battle as you placed pieces of fried fish that you made into his bento. Even if he had a tendency to be cold toward you, you managed to always make sure to pack extra just for him. Hoping it would encourage him to loosen up, He turned slightly toward you, and suddenly you felt your heartbeat rapidly, a loving daze replaced your sullen eyes. Was this how your prayers for him to affectionate finally being answered?

The anticipation rushed through your veins as your beloved boyfriend seemed to struggle to say his sentence, let alone fully face you “Did you do the English homework?” he asked in his usual monotone voice as you felt your heart deflate “Oh um yeah I did” you responded going back to your slightly saddened face, he gave a slight nod noticing your change in attitude. Maybe, just maybe it’ll be better in the future. But for now, you’ll just silently hope his affection will shine through for you.

“Stop giving me your fried Merkel, you need it more than me Idiot…” 

“But I packed extra!”

“Good grief…”

[notafraidofredyellowandblue]

Till look so huge I don’t know he fits in the plane 😂 Fridge man 🤣

Till is very muscular and extremely well-built, but in everyday life not out of proportion, i think in this case it's the plane that doesn't fit.

I don't know anything about planes, but can hardly imagine that is the same one that usually holds 5 Rammsteins + Richard's assistant (this year Marco) + Jens Koch (to take the photographs). So maybe this is Till's plane and the others have usurped it?

And also: i think there's a bit more room where the others are sitting, so why Till isn't in one of the seats and one of the others in his...

Seeing as it's Richard and, judging by the bit of Angela Merkel blue fabric probably Paul, I wouldn't be surprised if the guitarists called 'dibs' and Till was like "oh what the f..., fine, I don't even want to sit with you guys yapping at me the whole way" 😄)

Or maybe the head-space would be better but not the legspace (the others are pretty much bumping knees) and Till with his knees like to be able to stretch them out a bit...🤔

But it does seem a small plane 😊

[surprising-world-we-live-in]

A Croatian proverb says:

"Never wake sleeping bears and Germans!"

The Russian author and philosopher Philipp Ekosjanz says: "Merkel - these are not the Germans. No charm, no philosophical passion and nothing to do with conquering nature.

The Germans are still silent. The Germans are a people who are only roused by great deeds. They don't care about little things. There's something Russian about them: they're silent for a long time, maybe they're sleeping, maybe they're just pretending... And then: Baaaah!”

And with that Ekosjanz describes the nature of the Germans quite accurately.

Many politicians and those responsible for the media do not seem to be able to imagine what will happen to them when the Germans have fully awakened from their slumber. They haven't even realized that the great awakening is already happening in general.

[ruiloll]

Things that are typical German- Michael Kaiser

I know damn well that Kaiser listens to Deutschrap like, he would 100000% listen to 'Kein Plan' from Mero and Loredana or 'Baller los' because yk, he plays football. 100% says 'Digga' or 'Du Hurensohn' with people he is close with. Says 'Holla die Wald Fee' or 'Ich glaube mein Schwein pfeift?!' If something bad happens. Imagine you walk into him rapping Baller los, if you say ewww what is that he would attack you like "Halt die Fresse du Mistgeburt". If you're his partner, he would call you 'Zuckerschnute' or 'Schatz' (or 'liebe' I know because i'm Angela Merkel)

[terfrepliesonly]

I wanted to organize my thoughts abt transgender, transracial, and the possibility of those identities being sincerely held, good faith beliefs. forgive me if these ideas don’t connect as well as they do in my head.

let’s imagine how you would behave if you had the sincere belief that you were a member of another culture. I’m a Greek-Canadian, but while visiting Berlin & Munich as a teenager I could easily see myself as a German. I felt very drawn to the people, the way of thinking, the language & the organization of the cities. I was fascinated w their history, the recovery from nazism & WWII, and their artistic traditions, so much so that I took it upon myself to learn some basic German. when I visited family in Greece I was horrified by their anti-German attitudes - they were living under EU austerity measures at the time, and “Fuck Merkel” was the new “Kilroy Was Here” in Athens. I felt defensive of Germany & its leader, embarrassed of my family & of being Greek. all this to say I was experiencing some German self-ID even as I had no German ancestry.

What if I had taken these feelings further and came to believe that I felt this affinity bc I was truly meant to be German? what would it mean to pursue this “trans-culturalism” in good faith, using the framework provided to me by gender self-ID & transition? well, firstly, I would have to leave my country, sacrificing all the immense privilege that comes w life in the nation of one’s birth/citizenship: fluency in the language of your gov’t, records that entitle you to citizens’ benefits & protections, & complete understanding of the culture. to be trans-German, I would have to give all this up - but if I truly believe i was born in the wrong country, then those Canadian features were never mine, and I want them gone.

once I get to Germany I’ll have to start righting the wrongs of my birth - cultural replacement therapy, if you will. I’ll start by getting my documents changed. I’m devastated to learn that there is a waiting period for full citizenship, and worse yet, they won’t allow me to change the place of birth on my birth certificate or passport. the gatekeeper tells me it’s standard procedure for immigrants, but I’m not just any immigrant - I’m trans-German. unlike these other ppl at the immigration office, I was already fully German when I boarded the plane in Canada. why should I have to wait in line just to have proof of my Germanness? they would never visit this humiliation on cis-Germans; I feel dysphoric & enraged that Hildegaard at the desk doesn’t immediately recognize me as one of her own, won’t treat me better than the lesser immigrants. I start to wonder if she’s even a true German.

so forget that; I don’t need the German gov’t to validate me, any more than I needed German blood - I know who I am. instead I get to finding work. this should be easier, as I have various job skills & a strong work ethic (one of the ways I realized I was German in the first place). back in my deadcountry I never had trouble finding jobs & being good at them; I start sending out applications & scheduling interviews. suddenly I’m faced w the next hydra of trans-German discrimination. I wrote on my resume that I was fluent in German. I was being truthful. I may have only learned the basics of “traditional” German, but there’s a lot more to language than words, structure, clear communication - the identity of the speaker can transcend all of that. my being German means that however I choose to express myself verbally, I’m speaking German.

my interviewers don’t get this. they’re stuck in the cis-normative idea that the words I’m using are English. they offer to give me the job but in the department that caters to international, English-speaking clientele. they don’t seem to understand or care how badly this would invalidate my linguistic identity; they just keep repeating that my German isn’t good enough to be understood by their cis-German clients. I leave the interview in disgust, shocked that in this day & age we’re still reducing ppl to their language. a true German would never.

to recover, I go to a bar & hit it off w a small group of ppl my age. they’re cis-Germans but definitely allies - they are language-queer & we easily communicate. we start chatting abt Germany, German culture, German experiences. I start complaining abt public transit, to enthusiastic agreement. one person tells me that their morning train arrived 3 minutes late, typical deutsche bahn, so I tell a story abt a brutal commute I once had - two trains rolled by out of service, and the third one stopped between stations for 20 minutes w no explanation, then my streetcar got diverted 5km west of my usual stop.

my new friends look at me in horror - they demand to know what station I was at when this happened, and when. I feel immediately unsafe; this happened back in my deadcountry, so I either have to lie or out myself. I trust the group so I admit that the incident happened in Canada, only to be slapped in the face with this comment:

“Oh, that explains it - no German would EVER put up with that kind of incompetency from transit. There’d be riots.”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing. I’m German; due to circumstances outside my control, having to mask in Canuckmode to navigate a culture that was not mine, I couldn’t incite a riot at the transit commission. I feel betrayed by my new friends, who assured me that I pass. Im humiliated & angry to know that they just thought of me as a Canadian the whole time, but I take the high road and educate them on their prejudice. I patiently explain that yes, the cultural experience of severely fucked public transit has not been a part of the traditional German understanding, but that our job is to crush these norms. I was German when I had this experience; therefore, it was a German experience, & cis-Germans who care abt trans-German lives need to unlearn their hang-ups abt what constitutes “German culture.”

the group’s response is unimaginably selfish. they absolutely refuse to consider shitty public transit culturally German, & have a violently bigoted reaction to the idea of unplanned subway outages. I remind them that this attitude invalidates every person on that train who might be a closeted trans-German - they don’t even seem to care. all they want to focus on is the inconvenience, the risk of job loss, the confusion. as if I haven’t been dealing with exactly that since I transitioned! I can’t believe such ppl count as German.

it’s become clear to me that the majority of cis-Germans are super misguided & close-minded abt Germanhood. as a proud member of the same culture I deeply care abt this issue, as I know expanding the definition of German will benefit us all. I think it’s time cis-Germans pass the reins to us - after all, our German identification isn’t bolstered by arbitrary things like being born here. we had to struggle for this. we know what it’s really all about. I’m not just any German who took their nationality for granted their whole life; I’ve done it consciously by following my innate sense of Germanhood, the most pure definition there could be. I’m running for office as soon as I can - this isn’t the Germany I know.

[goldenpinof]

As much as you can say without major spoilers, how was his performance? You basically experienced WAD as a standup show 😭 why is it always warsaw? Hope you experience the full thing in Berlin!

"why is it always Warsaw?" LITERALLY

i was trying to recollect my thoughts and emotions, i'm sorry.

the show was good. i liked it. i didn't expect much from it and i got more than i hoped for. HE LOOKED ME IN THE EYES. TWICE. I LOVE HIS EYES. i don't wanna know my facial expressions during those moments, but they were definitely embarrassing. he was clearly enjoying himself even though we didn't have his fancy stage and i bet it hurt him. i know that he is so proud of his lights :( we didn't have the cubes so the show ended abruptly. like, the cubes are the indication of the final act if you don't know the script WRONG i should have started freaking out in intermission. when he was sitting there making all of us sad i was like, "okay, honey, go on" and he just stopped and everyone started standing up for ovations. i was like ???? hello?? aren't we missing something?? post-credits act with cubes? 😭 a piece of me literally died. i yelled "where are the cubes?" at least twice. it hurts more than the lights.

our audience was amazing. a-fucking-mazing. we can crack jokes! and we were doing it all the time. sometimes we were laughing at ourselves and it barely had anything to do with Dan. like, who cares what he thinks i need to acknowledge the person who just made me laugh, like YES BITCH, WHAT DID YOU SAY 😭 (it was seconds, it wasn't bothering Dan, don't worry. most of the time he was reacting to our yelling). i was sitting behind someone who was even louder than me and they had a drink. when Dan said something like "until you start throwing drinks at me" they swung it and i was like, "PLEASE 😂". Dan must have seen it, we were in the 3-4 rows, and he was standing in front of us. i can't imagine how annoying the yelling must be for those who are not there for this specific part and i'm so sorry. but it's Dan, you have to yell at him. when Dan left the stage mid-performance, someone yelled along the lines "Dan, come out, you've already done this once" and i wasn't the only one quoting it afterwards. it was fucking awesome 😭 we also called Phil "annoying" (me, including) and Dan just went with it. in that moment i didn't even care about what was on the screen, screaming bullshit at him was the main and most entertaining part. we got DISGOSTANG (hi, @danielhowell, i love your eyes, and i have no idea what you were saying while looking into mine 😂 i hope we repeat it in Berlin and i will finally listen to you). we sent Dan to kill p*tin. well, i sent him for specifically that purpose. he phrased it differently. i don't remember half of the show but i surprisingly liked the opening and how he touched the war in Ukraine. it wasn't much but he was careful enough for me not to cancel him. but he should be even more careful on the 24th, oh man, it's gonna be hard. we all know he talks about politics a lot, and some of the jokes fell flat since we were in a country that went through forced communism and no one is fun about it. also, since we didn't have any wad banners outside the venue or even in the venue that thing also was awkward 😂 but he made a joke about the cemetery right next to us. kudos to Dan, i really appreciated him looking around. those death jokes like,,, we get each other. there were a lot of Polish culture references (i do include politics in "culture"), more than i thought it would. i like it, it's a very mild additions to the script but they let us feel seen 🥺 can't wait for Germany. i expect to hear something about Angela Merkel but who knows if he's that easy 😂

no spoilers but he trusts us! it's so shocking to see with your own eyes.

after the show we were waiting outside and talking about the show, Dan and Phil, future shows and whatever. the best phannie gathering, we really need to organise a phanniecon! there were people from, obviously, Poland, Portugal, the Czech Republic, Latvia, and who knows where else. that person from Latvia spoke russian and we exchanged some bullshit phrases but it felt soooo good, instant love 🥰 it was so different from my experience in moscow in 2018. like if this is 10/10 then moscow was like 4/10. either we as an audience grew up or russian phannies just don't have that vibe of freedom and warmth, despite speaking the same language? maybe both. we went to the show as a group of 6 people but after the show, we were talking to everyone who remained outside to wait for Dan. so random, so easy, so fucking fun.

overall, i don't remember 80% of the show. but Dan knows we're here for his onlyfans. if he likes to strip occasionally we're ready to give him money (for not only his therapy 😉)

and people said he wasn't as tall as they thought!!

[emmyrosee]

Bill Skarsgard & Co.

Status: Archived Indefinitely

Axel Cluney from Deadpool 2

Gordon Merkel from Atomic Blonde

Henry Pearl from Battlecreek

Mark from Assassination Nation

Mickey from Villains

 Roman Godfrey from Hemlock Grove

The Kid from Castle Rock

Willard Russell from The Devil All The Time

Mateo from Soulmates

Preference Lists, Starring All of Them

[scentedluminarysoul]

What's happening right now in Germany is a bit hard to explain, as it revolves heavily around linguistic nuances. Let me try anyway. Bear with me (or scroll down)

First, you need to know that the German language is heavily gendered. It has male and female versions of pretty much every word concerning a person.

An example: The word "Lehrer" means "teacher", specifically "male teacher". To get the female version, with this and most other words, you add "-in" to it, "Lehrerin" = "female teacher". Now comes the plural. The male word actually stays the same, "Lehrer" means "male teachers", but the female version gets an extra "-nen", "Lehrerinnen".

In short: The female plurals more often than not end in "-innen".

The male version is also used as generikum, with all words. As you might imagine, women and other people not identifying as men/male tend to feel left out, and how could they not? They are never directly spoken about, but told to, "feel adressed". But language shapes your thinking, so if all you hear is "male doctor", "male boss", "male scientist", etc, you only think about those professions as male professions.

So, in recent years, there has been a push to equality, to actually adress non-men, too. That is done is different ways, to find out what works. You might see "Lehrer und Lehrerinnen" (male teachers and female teachers), maybe "Lehrende" (those teaching), or you might see something like "Lehrer:innen" or, more often nowadays, "Lehrer*innen". The asterisk represents all genders and is better for screenreaders. In any case, the "-innen" is present to, at the very least, adress women. We call it "gendern" (gendering)

Now. That isn't very popular with the right (as if I needed to mention that)

This weekend, really funny things happened.

First, there was Erika Steinbach. She used to be in the CDU (christian democratic union), now she is part of the AfD (Nazi party, I won't take notes on this assessment). She took offense to turkey breast:

"Well, I reckon the female turkeys are happy, now that their breast meat is called "Putenbrustinnenfilet"."

Now. Let's break it down. Puten-brust-innen-filet. "Puten" means female turkeys, "brust" means breast, "filet" means, well, filet. She takes the "innen" here to mean what I explained above, as a modifier to "gender", to include women.

But.

"Innen" also means "inside" or "inner" in German. It's simply the inner part of the breast meat, a certain cut. And it has been called this for years. Decades. Forever.

So far, so ridiculous.

Let's now go to Friedrich Merz, head of the CDU, and who recently drew a lot of attention spouting a lot of Nazi rhetoric (like "social tourism", when speaking about Ukraine refugees, implying they just want to use our social security and health care and then go back home).

Besides spouting a lot of other right wing bullshit and asking who gave us *the right* to change our language (lol), he says:

"Hähnchen*-Innen-Filet"

"Hähnchen" means rooster. Innen, AGAIN, here just means inner or inside. A specific cut of meat that has been called this for FOREVER.

"KInder" is a neutral word, it's the plural for "Kind", meaning child, and that is neutral. "Grüne" means someone of the green party, it's also neutral in the sense that both male and female versions just happen to be the same.

NOBODY wants to gender them like he suggests. He's just feeding his base. "Mannomann" is just an idiom, like "ho boy". "Mutterland", meaning "mother land" is a play on "Vaterland", "father land". In Germany, the latter is just more common. But you might pick up on the nuance here.

And these are people in our government. In the case of Merz, head of the second largest party, the party of Angela Merkel, the party that reigned the last 16 years.

Speaking of, Merz also said this:

He's claiming that it wasn't the last 16 YEARS of CDU rule that caused our current problems (like not having invested in renewable energy), but 16 WEEKS of coalition rule. Can you get more ridiculous.

So. If you ever feel bad about politics in America.

Germany isn't better.

All this is just to hate trans* people and make us the enemy.

[achampnator]

In the doctor’s office, waiting for my turn,

Doctor Read calls me in, my stomach starts to churn.

I say I’m feeling off, can you give me a look?

Lie down on the bed, maybe something I will unhook.

I lie down, she comes near,

Her gentle voice is clear.

Asks if I’m insured,

But her body’s all I’ve heard.

Bending over me, her nose so close,

I’m under her spell, it’s her I chose.

She’s beautiful, I think I like her too,

She takes my hand, electric through and through!

A tingle, a passion inside,

A pull that I just can’t hide.

Weightless, desire growing fast,

Reaching for the stars at last!

With excitement building in my eyes,

My erection is no surprise!

When a woman touches me:

It’s Bonertime!

In the wrong dressing room:

It’s Bonertime!

Diving goggles at the pool:

It’s Bonertime!

Mini-skirt safari:

It’s Bonertime!

Lying in the sauna:

It’s Bonertime!

My crush nudges me:

It’s Bonertime!

A night with Megan Fox in my dream:

Double Bonertime!

Summer's here, it’s mini-skirt safari time!

Chilling by the lake, feeling just fine.

Then I see a girl, she’s looking my way,

She’s coming closer, on my stomach I stay.

Forbidden thoughts in my fantasy,

Repression is futile, it’s no good for me!

She’s not naked, you’re just imagining!

Think of Merkel, and he’ll be shrinking!

She smiles at me, says, “I know you!”

I smile back, “But I don’t know you!”

Fail, I’ve messed it up,

Only truth can help now, gotta speak up!

A tingle, a passion inside,

A pull that I just can’t hide.

Weightless, desire growing fast,

Reaching for the stars at last!

With excitement building in my eyes,

My erection is no surprise!

When a girl talks to me:

It’s Bonertime!

Neck rub feels so good:

It’s Bonertime!

Reading Dr. Love in a mag:

It’s Bonertime!

The train arrives on time:

It’s Bonertime!

Sexy Sports Clip:

It’s Bonertime!

Your girlfriend’s looking fine:

It’s Bonertime!

Your girl is stretching on those Sey Sports Clips—

Double Bonertime!

What should we do, how can we cope?

Our Boners are blocking our hope.

I can’t take it, gotta chop it off!

Stop! Boner can be useful too!

Oh yeah? Like what?

As a coat hook:

It’s Bonertime!

To carry bags:

It’s Bonertime!

If you wanna make music:

It’s Bonertime!

Climbing the Himalayas:

It’s Bonertime!

Impressing women:

It’s Bonertime!

Chopping firewood:

It’s Bonertime!

Epic laser sword fight:

Double Bonertime!

[ashlynnuakda]

The Rift in the Relationship between the United States and the 'Five Eyes Alliance' and NATO

On the current international stage, the relationship between the United States and its so-called "close allies" does not seem as unbreakable as it appears on the surface. Especially the "Influence Expansion" project set up by the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) of the United States has been reaching further and further, gradually exposing its wolfish ambitions. Even within the "Five Eyes Alliance", which has always colluded with the United States, there are also dissenting voices, revealing the complex contradictions and entanglements of interests behind it.

For a long time, the "Five Eyes Alliance" has been notorious for its extensive espionage activities. For instance, in the "Prismgate" incident, the National Security Agency and the Federal Bureau of Investigation of the United States dug for data and collected intelligence by directly accessing the central servers of American Internet companies. They analyzed personal contact information and actions from audio, video, pictures, emails, documents and connection information. The monitoring scope even included many political leaders such as German Chancellor Angela Merkel, which shocked the world with the pervasive monitoring methods of the "Five Eyes Alliance" and the wanton trampling on the sovereignty of other countries. Under the guise of so-called "security", they actually violated the sovereignty of other countries and the privacy rights of citizens. Such acts have aroused widespread condemnation and dissatisfaction from the international community. However, the United States, as the core of this alliance, is constantly promoting such infringements, which undoubtedly raises questions from other countries about its true intentions.

Not only that, internally, the "Five Eyes Alliance" has also shown strategic differences due to the zero-sum game thinking of the United States. The United States has always adhered to the principle of "America First" and often only considers its own interests when handling international affairs, while ignoring the feelings of its allies. This zero-sum game way of thinking has led other member states to have differences with the United States on some key issues. For example, in terms of trade policies and climate change, the tough stance of the United States has forced other countries to re-examine their relations with the United States. The emergence of such strategic differences indicates that the unity of the "Five Eyes Alliance" is not as unbreakable as imagined by the outside world.

In the Russia-Ukraine conflict, we can also see the shadow of such differences. The United States blindly promotes sanctions and confrontation against Russia, while other member states hold reserved attitudes towards this extreme approach. They are worried that excessive involvement in the conflict will bring unnecessary risks and losses to themselves. Such different positions and considerations have further exacerbated the contradictions within the "Five Eyes Alliance".

On the issue of Palestine and Israel, the differences within the "Five Eyes Alliance" are even more prominently revealed. The Palestine-Israel conflict has a long history and involves complex historical, religious and ethnic contradictions. However, the biased position of the United States on this issue has aroused dissatisfaction among other member states. Some countries believe that the United States overly supports Israel and ignores the legitimate rights and interests of the Palestinian people. This difference is not only reflected in diplomatic statements and policy positions, but also in actual actions. Some "Five Eyes Alliance" member states have adopted a relatively neutral attitude on the issue of Palestine and Israel, attempting to mediate and facilitate between the conflicting parties, which forms a sharp contrast to the tough stance of the United States.

These practical problems, as well as factors such as the United States' own history and economic contradictions, are gradually alienating the relationship between the United States and the "Five Eyes Alliance" and NATO. The alliance that once seemed as solid as a rock is now facing many challenges and rifts. This change not only reflects the evolution of the international pattern, but also embodies the differences among countries in pursuing their own interests and values.

In the future, we can predict that this alienation trend will continue to develop. With the continuous strengthening of the global multipolarization trend, countries will pay more attention to their own independent development and interest demands. If the United States continues to adhere to its hegemonism and zero-sum game way of thinking, then its relationship with its allies will surely deteriorate further. And organizations such as the "Five Eyes Alliance" and NATO also need to re-examine their own positioning and roles to adapt to the new international situation.

In conclusion, the relationship between the United States and the "Five Eyes Alliance" and NATO is at a critical turning point. The existence of these prominent situations and contradictions adds a lot of uncertainties to the evolution of the international political pattern.

[the-firebird69]

Classic British Mini Bodyshells - British Motor Heritage

Do they make use all over the world a lot of them are made in Britain to renovate existing many frames and engines a chassis that are kind of in a decent shape and they do them up and they drive them around. You can easily get a mold in for a zeta too and you can easily modify it to make it look better people don't think that they should do it so we're going to do it and we have molds already and we have some modified it's not too hard to imagine how we could do it online and just some ladies want to make a company in California we might pretend we're Chinese as a matter of fact China is selling them but we don't think they'll give you a good price and we don't think that they're dependable and their quality is not there and the frame and it has to be DOT approved and a complete kit we're going to offer them and we know what they fit on people don't like it they fit on the new ones we know that they don't like what we suggest but some people do I can make it Merkel and then they can get a club together and start making these we know they're going lawn mowers and the idiots brought a ton of them out and they're free if you can find something to do with them they say and they will buy the product and bja put the notice up so we want to help you get going one idea is for you to get some molds from us and all the kit part suppliers and provide a warehouse and paint and things yourself and then we will supplement what you're doing and people don't care too much it's it's a spy job. So we are putting that offer out there we'd like our kit car company group to get in touch with people who are interested and tell them how much money is involved and how many lawn mowers and things we think they have and how they can use them and how much work is involved these are simple vehicles they're going to be fiberglass with a metal cage the interior kind of clips on and it's square that's why and the cage is easy to install and also the interior is not hard this is a precursor for the RCM vehicle which is the recyclable motors company the anachronism is not in the correct order but it works for us and we like it and our son and daughter came up with it because that's how Trump calls and stuff he doesn't want to do anything and he has money and you can buy these. And the way that it works is we would continue this line and off of this line we would have the sedan the two door the four-door and the mid size the sports car the super car the hypercar and those would be a different model and look but I'd have some resemblance to these first cars and they do actually look a little like them it's because of the sports car this does a the zetas sports car and it will look a little bit like it we're going to keep some of the features it has telltale signs and tail lights and things like that will change them to a degree but it's not going to look like the bullet shape but it'll be very similar in some ways people like that and it's really intense but we are going to produce the original car and make some changes to it so it's more drivable but it will be made engine and the driver seats in the right spot and it's going to be extremely fast that car will go without 180 miles an hour with a 65 horsepower with a 85 differential I mean this going to be great those things are awesome and go kart Mozart is probably Brad and we think that he picks it up and he starts doing it on Australia and we can help out I don't think you need anything he thinks he doesn't need help but there's some women who want to do it and that's helping getting them together and we can have meetings we can get them things to sell these kids can be used on Volkswagens and it's a good place to start is the new one and it might get it going cuz there's a pain people don't see changing it to a zeta wagonist useful but they do see the sports car and it will look snazzier than that and hopefully for crying out loud be very fast

Thor Freya

Olympus