#merrily merrily we cry

[mysticalsoot]

he said he'd cure your ills (but he didn't and he never maybe will)

A/N: this one didn't end as sad as I intended. this was supposed to be entirely angst but I got distracted. i also can't stand to villianize Wilbur for too long before wanting to cry so yeah. it's not entirely angst, but still majorly angsty! if anyone wants a seperate one to continue this vers or the other, just lmk! I will happily write it.

TW// cheating mentions, swearing, mild manipulation, Wilbur is an asshole and honestly you shouldn't forgive someone who cheats BUT this is fiction and I am a sucker for Wilbur so that's a fault of me, mostly entirely angst, bittersweet ending, heights ummm I think that's it??

Words: 2.7k

Pairings: Cc!Wilbur x Reader

Pronouns: not mentioned, a few uses of y/n

Inspired by;  The Smiths – This Night Has Opened My Eyes

Fluff version here

masterlist

"Wilbur," You begin, voice trembling and caked in uncertainty, "Don't go. You can't."

"Why can't I? I have free will," Wilbur's tone is sharp like claws that slowly pick at the flesh around your heart, begging to rip it from your chest. And you're sure it will. His arms are flayed out, stretched out on either side of him. The same way they always are when he's angry. "Who's to stop me from leaving your pathetic excuse of a person?"

"You don't mean that.." Your voice gives out at the end, and you back up from him and into the wall. You want to run.

You want to scream.

You want to call him names.

Yell at him the way he's been doing to you.

Threaten him in the same ways, only worse and more tortuous than he could ever come up with.

But he's right.

You're pathetic, and so you curl up inside yourself, you freeze, and you die inside. You're rotting from the outside in. You're rotting, and isn't it his fault?

"I mean every word." His words come out slowly, it's calculated, the way he says it. It's like he really does mean to hurt you, that every word is a swing of the sword he's wielded for months. Slowly getting duller as each swing cuts deeper.

First, it was the distance; he stopped being as affectionate in public or at home. He no longer asked for it either, he just let you initiate it as if it was a chore he'd rather forget about for months on end. But you let it go, he was probably just tired!

And then it was the phone calls; his phone would ring and he would leave the room. He always said it was "work" stuff, but you knew the people he worked with and you were even friends with his manager, let alone his bandmates. But you let that slide too. Who knows, maybe it was a secret project! It's not that concerning..

The last straw was your friends. They were his as well, but they were just as much yours as they were his.

They were the ones that caught him. Up until this point you had been willingly oblivious, always pushing the gut feelings and the second thoughts as far away from you as possible and burying them six feet in the ground.

Wilbur was out during the day, he had gone to the beach that day (although he told you he went to the studio), to meet up with them. James was walking past the boardwalk that afternoon and he saw the tall man over by the water, out of the corner of his eye. He thought it was odd given the fact that Wil almost never went to the beach without you. So, he moved to a closer spot and hid far enough away that he wouldn't be noticed by his friend but close enough he could still see. It was deceptive and over the top, yes, but James was always one for theatrics.

He watched as Wilbur had gotten closer to the person he was with, holding their face the same way he watched him hold yours. He smiled at them the same way he smiled at you. But this person, they were the complete opposite of you and it made James' blood boil. He knew that you had no knowledge of this person because if you had known, he would have known. And he was in the dark, so you must be too.

And unfortunately, he was right. He went to the others first, the band, Alex, Tommy, Niki.. He covered all the bases for your closest friends and gathered them all together for dinner and game night at his place. And so, James told them everything, everything he saw or heard; the fact you probably didn't know.

They hatched a plan that night, after discussing all of the details, and their own suspicions. The plan was simple, they would stage an intervention. When worded like that, it sounds as if they pushed you into it. They didn't, the words they used were this; we found something out and we think you should know, but we have to tell you in person; and don't bring Wilbur.

It caught you off guard for sure and it filled your body with buzzing worry and nausea. But it subsided when you had gotten to the agreed apartment (Niki's), only to build again when you saw the expressions on their faces. Ones of grief, guilt, and pain.

They told you everything.

And then you went home (after plenty of comforting until you were semi-stable again), and you told Wilbur. You knew. There was no getting past you anymore. The secret was out.

And now you're here. He's making it out to be your fault and you so desperately want to believe it's not, but his arguments are more compelling and convincing than you thought.

"You, Y/N, have always been a nuisance. You're clingy, and possessive, you talk too much and you never know when to stop. It's always Wilbur this and Wilbur that. You never give me a break. You're overbearing, you're controlling. And I hate every fucking bit of your shit existence!" It hurts so bad to hear every word he says and know that he means it. The ache in your chest feels like a throbbing and if you didn't know better you would've assumed your heart had been ripped out and shredded over and over and over again, the hole in your chest then gushing blood from the half-assed job of heart surgery. All done by the sharpness of Wilbur's words.

God, you wished this was just a dream.

"If I'm such a nuisance, why have you stayed?" You ask, tears burning the skin of your red cheeks. The bags under your eyes are more prominent now than ever, it's the exhaustion from life combined with the stress of...this.

"Because I pitied you," He pauses, eyes narrowing before stepping forward, closer to you, "I never loved you."

You wish this was a dream, it has to be. He's not this cruel, it can't be him.

"What about the promises you made? Did those mean nothing to you?" You're begging him to spare your heart now, to not rip into it in the same way he ripped it from your chest. Your tone simply begs; please spare me, Wilbur, please.

"I never meant a word." He’s stern in the way he speaks, sure to lace his words with venomous hatred. "How do you not understand? I don't like you, nobody likes you. You are nothing to me." The words slice right through you, clean and quick which doesn't help the pain of his words any. It merely worsens it, how can someone who's told you he loves you, be so cruel? What did you do to deserve this?

"How can you not understand how your actions affect people, huh? What? Did you skip basic etiquette in school? Or are you just that much of an asshole?" You spit back, your anger now overruling any anxiety you hold in your body, the grief is now anger, and its an out of control flame.

“Well, I'm fucking sorry for trying to spare your emotions!"

"Oh wow, you care so much about me. Fuck you, William." He's stepped back and you can tell he's eyeing the door, planning his escape from the burning words that leave your lips. "You, are a poor excuse for a man..and a friend."

"If you can't take what you dish, leave." You let all emotion drain from your voice, and you stand tall. His mouth opens, anticipating to speak but nothing happens. He simply groans and walks out the front door.

And then he's gone.

----

You had spent the next year wishing you would eventually wake from the nightmare you lived. It never happened, you split off from Wilbur and hadn't heard from him since. And to help, you moved away from Brighton to London, and made sure to avoid any of his band's gigs. You still kept in contact with your friends, they always checked in and they would visit whenever they were in town. James stayed the closest, it seemed he had the most sympathy for you. They all did, but his extended further than the rest. You couldn't understand why.

He would stay at yours for a few days at a time, instead of the hour visits the rest would do. You enjoyed his company, and his kindness never failed to make you smile. It was nice to know someone had your back, even if your life prior to your move became so turbulent.

You never found out who the other person was, you didn't really care either. I mean for the most part you were perfectly okay with just not knowing, but you are human so a part of you was just a little bit curious. But you didn't waste your time looking, you simply let the theories run wild in your mind, never seeking the truth. It spared your heart, never looking.

You had run through the possibilities of how you could find out, but you really did not expect to find out when you went back to Brighton to visit family. You didn't want to go back by any means, it hurt too much, made your chest ache where his words had clawed out the flesh and your heart in one go. But you went, it hurt, but you went.

You were window shopping for the day, passing by the shops near the beach, and then you saw the spot James told you he found them. It was by the old tattered pier, by one of the poles.

You stopped there, and stared. It wasn't the most polite, sure, but you couldn't help yourself. Who cared if you clogged walking traffic for a moment or two?

You wondered what she had that you didn't, was it her looks? Was she smarter than you? Did she annoy him less, pay more attention to him? You couldn't quite figure it out, all you knew was thinking of the two of them shamelessly gush over each other in public, turned your stomach round and round like a carousel. You wanted to puke.

This is what hell is, isn't it? Your own mind torturing yourself with what ifs and ideas of what could have been. Or what you did wrong.

You went to walk away, move on with your life yet again, and you did but you quickly ran into another person.

“Sorry, sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going.” The words slur together into a single string of sound, and you quickly walk past them and down the sidewalk before even catching a glimpse of them.

-----

Unfortunately that isn't the last you saw of Wilbur and his new partner. This time there was a more personal interaction. Tommy had invited you out for a vlog he was filming, you hadn't been a guest in his vlogs lately and he “missed your humor”. What he forgot to mention was that Wilbur was invited too, although Tommy apologized profusely and told you he forgot he even asked his brother in the first place. You didn't mind it much, I mean it wasn't like you would get up and leave Tommy's vlog over something as petty as being around your ex. Even despite how shitty Wilbur was in the end.

For the most part you were able to avoid the man quite well. He was an hour late to Phil's place before leaving. Thankfully Phil let you take shotgun and once you four arrived at the agreed theme park you could easily hide away next to Phil as the two boys annoyed the shit out of each other. Tommy humming an able sisters song was involved. He got hit in the head. Phil did a lot of scolding during the drive.

Your plan worked out decently until it came down to the last ride, Tommy begged you to ride it with him and Wilbur-- he knew you had gone on it before and that you didn't find it very scary so you riding it with a terrified Wilbur seemed pretty comedic to Tom. You sitting there with a blank face while Wilbur and Tommy most likely screamed their heads off did seem quite entertaining to the kid.

You went in line first, ahead of the boys. Phil stayed behind holding everyones stuff that they couldn't take with them but Tommy managed to keep his camera to film. He was going between you and Wilbur and sticking it in either of you guys’ faces, trying to get the funny angles he loved to throw in.

“Tommy, what is it with you and putting cameras in your friends’ faces?” You cross your arms, a mischievous smile paintined on your features. The line ahead is a good amount of people long so you had plenty of time to goof around.

“It's funny!” Tommy lets out his usual wheeze like laugh and puts his camera away for now.

“You just like annoying us,” Wilbur adds, playfully rolling his eyes while he, himself smiles.

“Maybe!” Tommy stretches out the word and scoots to stand in front of you in the line, the people in front of you still not yet moving.

It took a good twenty minutes before the three of you were able to finally get through the line and into the ride, and once you did, you could see the anxiety fill both Tommy and Wilbur simply by how their faces went pale.

“You two okay?” Your gaze switches from Wilbur to Tommy and back to Tommy again.

“I’m fine.” Wilbur states, his voice wavering in an unsure manner you hadn't heard from him in ages.

“Tommy?”

“Also okay! As fine as ever!” Tommy’s back stiffens and he pulls out his camera to take some shots before the ride starts.

He doesn't get more than a few words in before the coaster car speeds up the incline ahead.

Both boys nervously laugh just before coaster speeds down, and they scream. You simply laugh in amusement as their faces churn into a fearful expression.

The pattern repeats throughout the rest of the ride, Wilbur and Tommy laughing and then screaming while you watch the two lose their minds. The boys' screams would get louder and more terrified whenever a twist would go upside down, or when the incline went straight down.

"Soo, how was it boys?" You tease the two of them, nudging both of them in the sides.

Wilbur's eyes go wide and he looks down to meet your eyes, "I never feared heights more." He earns a laugh from you and something twists in his gut, it's not a bad feeling, but he can't pinpoint what feeling it is.

You look to Tommy, "I can't believe this was my idea." A shiver runs down his spine and he shakes, and then runs to Phil the moment he comes into view. There Phil stands, bags and cameras, water bottles and candy in hand, holding his kids' stuff in true dad fashion.

Phil then hands out everyone's stuff to each respective person and he too asks how it was.

"Meh." is your answer.

"Terrifying." is Wilbur's answer.

"I've never regretted something more." is Tommy's answer.

Phil just laughs at everyone's answer, patting his son's on the back, before ruffling up your hair. His signs of affection.

"Hey, Wilbur- Y/n?" Phil's voice breaks his string of laughter, his smile still evident.

You both hum in response, both looking to him like little kids awaiting instructions.

"Can you two go take this extra stuff to the car while Tommy and I get stuff set up for the arcade?" The request is simple, and he doesn't mean any harm. But both you and Wil are anxious about this, surely silence will fill the air when the two of you are alone, but there's a voice in the back of your head that says it won't be as quiet.

Yet, the two of you agree and various bags and candy is stuffed in you guys' arms. Phil hands the keys to you, and Wilbur whines to him about how he's the most responsible one but Phil just laughs and shrugs it off.

You're a few feet away from the other two, "So, how's your year been?" Your question shatters the silence like a glass plate on concrete. It's abrupt, and it spooks Wilbur for a moment.

"Kinda shit, I guess." He shrugs and his voice is low and unsure and his eyes are fixated on the stone pathway beneath you.

"How's that girlfriend of yours?" You spare a glance back at him, since he's fallen behind you a bit. He sucks in a breath, body tensing.

"I'm not with her anymore." Wilbur's eyes gaze downwards, refusing to look at you. A part of you is sad for him, but another part of you is..happy? The feelings and thoughts are confusing, the conflicting ideas being entirely new to you.

"Oh." You don't say much more, instead you just let the silence take over for the rest of the walk.

It's only a few minutes before you're scrambling to unlock the car, and you haphazardly open the trunk, doing your best to not drop anything while you open it with your left hand.

"I'm sorry." Wilbur mumbles to you as he puts the last bag he was holding in the trunk.

"You are?" You ask, leaning up against the back of the car after you shut it closed. Your head tilts to the side as you look at him and you cross your arms over your chest. He doesn't look to you.

"Yeah," He nods, and then he swallows nervously.

"What you did wasn't right. You should've communicated with me, Wil." You stand up straight, arms falling to either side of you and you take a couple steps towards him.

He doesn't look up, "Man, do I know that."

You reach up to hold his face, to bring his gaze to meet yours. "You should have told me what was wrong, whatever was wrong. You still haven't told me."

"There was..a lot. I don't think you'd want to hear it all right now. In a fucking theme park parking lot at that." A small laugh leaves his chest and you smile slightly at the action.

"Maybe not today, but someday?"

"Yeah, yeah, someday."

The two of you leave it at that, and head back to meet Phil and Tommy. The four of you spend the rest of your day without cameras or arguments, you simply hang out and eat stupid amounts of candy and play every game in the arcade with the only goal of beating the high scores until you started to get tired. You were sitting at a nearby table, next to Wilbur with your head against his shoulder.

"Could we ever make up?" He cautiously lets an arm rest over your shoulders, you graciously take the touch, reaching your left hand up to intertwine your fingers with his.

"Maybe." You yawn, "Just maybe."

So you nuzzle further into him, and he sighs. He's happy, you're happy, even if the day was bittersweet, there's still hope.

He wasn't a bad person, just a person who did a really shit thing.

tags; @at0micc0la (since you reblogged the first vers lmao)

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

Now that I've watched it more than once, Merrily We Roll Along might be one of the saddest musicals I've seen that doesn't also have a character death

[alexjcrowley]

Listen here. Brocedes movie inspired by The Social Network? Excellent. But I raise you: Brocedes musical inspired by Merrily We Roll Along.

For those who don't know, Merrily We Roll Along is a musical about a tight-knit, years-old friendship between two guys and a girl and how it went to shit and tragedy mainly due to one of the guys, Frank, who was obsessed with success in the movie business.

It's really heartbreaking to watch a friendship deteriorate in front of your eyes per se, but here comes the stroke of genius that really stabs you through the chest.

The entire story is told backwards. You start with Frank, rich and famous, hosting a party at his house, surrounded by hoards of vips and celebrities. At that party we first find out that Frank used to be friend with a guy named Charles, who just won a Pulitzer, and then the woman who was the third member of Frank's trio (Frank, Charles and Mary) humiliates Frank in front of everybody, saying she despises everything he has become.

And then you go back. You see Frank, Charles and Mary just a little before that, with tensions who is just about to explode, everybody's angry and pissed, bit nothing's final. And then we go back again, and again, and again, until you end up at the end of the musical, which is the beginning of Frank's, Charles's and Mary's friendship, and they're all so happy and so close and would do anything for eachothers and they sing about how every road is open for them in life and you want to tear your heart from your chest because you just spend the whole show knowing they've already picked their roads and they all lead to heartbreak and they can never go back.

Now that you get the context, indulge my vision: first thing we see is Hamilton's news of signing with Ferrari and everybody being absolutely shocked and journalists asking Nico for his opinion. It's not specified who Nico is to Lewis. Then we go a little back, Nico's positive commentary on Lewis's races and Lewis flat out not reacting/avoiding him in the paddock. And then a little back, and a little back, and we go through all of the pivotal moments of Brocedes lore, we see "a better driver, and teammate", Nico's win+retirement, we see Spanish GP 2016 (plus Max's namedrop), we see Lewis and Nico as teammate for the first time, Lewis's first championship, Nico in Williams, the holidays in Greece, and then the show ends with young Lewis Hamilton and Nico Rosberg meeting eachothers at karting competition and singing about finally having found a friend, the hope that they'll meet again, the dream of becoming f1 drivers and the promise to stay friends throughout it.

Now I made myself sad.

[noys-boise]

do you ever think about how much it must've hurt Mary to find out not only is Frank cheating on Beth (who was her friend at one point and who she did warn to be careful leaving him alone) but he cheated on her with someone other than Mary. like can you imagine being so in love with your best friend and repeatedly having to tell yourself "he's married now you can't have him" and then you find out he would just do that. he's not only not interested in you, he's not interested in you

[thelaurenshippen]

literally where is my next to normal movie. it's been fifteen years. who is keeping this from me.

[sad-bitch-hrs]

Having fomo

[bumblingest-bee]

WAIT FUCK IT’S MERRILY CLOSING NIGHT. this is a day of national mourning yall.

[transboypatrickmurray]

i just realised that merrily is closing in a week

[sondheim-girly]

Listening to musicals in class is a struggle because god I just wanna scream along or dance or cry, but I have to keep a straight face and pretend everything’s normal

[loving-jack-kelly]

musicals that are fully and truly about normal people making normal mistakes living normal lives that for some reason resonate so hard that I can't stop thinking about them:

R&H Allegro (but specifically the reimagining that my college did that was so good I seriously considered taking a bootleg of it to watch over and over again)

Merrily We Roll Along

[itsactuallycorrine]

Apparently they’re filming the Merrily revival performance today (I think they filmed yesterday too), and the rumor is it’ll be available on AppleTV 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[henrytheduck36q]

He's so pretty it's ridiculous 😂

[storyofmychoices]

I forgot how much I love Jonathan Groff.

That's it. That's the post.

[septemberpdf]

just saw merrily we roll along on broadway (w jonathan groff and daniel radcliffe) oh my god. profoundly oh my god

[noys-boise]

i thought about Mary Flynn again i need to be put down

[teaandspite]

The Great Goodreads Diss List (Part 1)

Context: For many years now, I have been collecting funny lines from Goodreads reviews to share with my coworkers. (I do collection development, reader's advisory, and weeding at a public library, so I read a LOT of reviews)

Are some of these, perhaps, rather mean? Yes, but they are also very funny, and come from a place of honest frustration. In the tradition of Bargepole threads and lists everywhere, names and titles have been censored.

"First, I want to say that I understand how hard it is to write a book and how amazing it is when it is actually published. Congrats to the author for that accomplishment. That said--"

"Warning: This review will be lengthy due to pure hatred."

"I found myself feeling really, really annoyed with the world that this book is allowed to exist. We live in a universe where the passenger pigeon is extinct but this book goes along merrily being read by unsuspecting lovers of words and ideas and stories? It just seems like too much, you know?"

"Don't do it. Don't spring the cash for the hardcover. Instead, eat an entire bag of Twizzlers, spend some money you don't have at a high-end department store, look up on Facebook the shady college boyfriend that made you cry, research the current value of your home or 401K and then read all about how the big hedge fund managers are faring during the economic crisis. You'll feel about the same stomach pain if you waste your time reading this book."

"This wretched novel begins with the mugging of an old lady and it appears I may be in the process of repeating that loathsome crime as [author] was 78 when she wrote it. It is not nice to put the boot into such a poor defenseless old creature lying there with only a damehood, a Booker Prize and a few million quid. It’s a nasty job but somebody has to do it."

"I think this is the way dead people would write, if they could."

"I am considering setting up SPABB: Society for the Protection of Accurate Book Blurb. This blurb appears to have been written by someone from the publishers who met [the author] the night before, got very drunk, lost his notes and then constructed something in a fug of hangover the next morning."

"I congratulate [the author] on the early half of his book, which was thoroughly fun and made me laugh and think. I congratulate [the author] on the second half of his book, for finishing it. It reads like that was difficult."

"…a woman whose taste in contemporary literature has roughly the same batting average as a pitcher in the National League."

"The author is a pompous windbag."

"Recommends it for: No one. Recommended to me by: A friend who apparently wished to cause me great suffering."

"Makes me wonder: is it possible to obtain similes at a volume discount?"

"The repeated phrases made me want to mail a thesaurus to the author."

"I'm disappointed in myself for finishing this book."

"if the author described [character's] eyes as "obsidian" one more time I was tempted to write her and ask if her thesaurus broke."

"They say that an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite number of typewriters would, if given infinite time, eventually produce the complete works of William Shakespeare. [This book], on the other hand, would probably take the average monkey just under two hours."

"I can't imagine what the author had to do to get this nadir of Western literature printed on innocent trees, but he does seem to know a LOT about being well-connected in New York."

"This book is so bad it is almost worth reading just to make you appreciate the other books you are reading."

"Reads like it was written by a brilliant author, the night before it was due."

"raises interesting questions, like: can a book be so bad as to constitute an act of terrorism"

"has this author ever spoken to a human woman"

"This acorn has fallen so far from the tree that it can’t even see the forest."

"I’m guessing they are touted as ‘beach reads’ because no one will care if they get dropped into the ocean."

"This book begins with all the energy of a hand vacuum near the end of its battery life, and the pace doesn't quicken much from there."

"At least everybody’s eyes stayed the same color this time around.”

Part 2