#might as well be ebony darkness dementia raven way

[fadewalking]

I dont understand the appeal of Shadowheart.

[incorrect-riordanverse]

finally reading tsats here are my live thoughts (spoilers, obviously):

i’m so excited because some pages are darkly decorated and its so cool. still don’t vibe with the title though (the sun IS a star and its peeving me)

why are we talking about dating darth vader 😟 where are we rn (anakin is a yes, but DARTH VADER???)

maybe i’m too old but the jokes are not funny 😭

“this whole place feels like my soul. empty and dark. dark as the pit of the underworld.” <- i don’t care if he’s joking nico would never say thissss 🙏😭 we’re only 10 pages in but please stop butchering my fav character he’s not himselffff i am cringing so bad

i know i’m being dramatic but if they do nico dirty in this book i’m going to end it all

oh my god i don’t think i’ve thought about the words “significant annoyance” in so long. bringing back good memories for sure.

i can tell which parts were written by riordan and which parts were written by oshiro. i don’t think their voices are blending very well together…

also, maybe it’s because it’s the start of the book and they’re trying to familiarise new readers quickly with the characters but it feels like they’re making nico the caricature of ‘emo and shadow and ebony darkness dementia raven way 🥀⛓️🖤’ and will the caricature of ‘happy and sunshine and blonde and flower gleam and glow ☀️🌈🫧’ and i usually like this dynamic when it’s not blatantly pointed out every other page. i have faith they’ll show more complexity than this later on though. future yan will let me know by the end. (future yan here, im not at the end but the characterisation def does get more complex thank gods)

oh ok so it is bob the titan

since when was nico’s actual name niccolo??? how did i forget this detail??

“you have to listen if not you’ll share my fate.” “ominous much?” <- ok he’s finally himself again guys it’s all good

the one-sided beef nico has with percy will never not be funny

“cookie monster appeared over the mouth of the jar, reached inside and gobbled up nico like the chocolate-chip cookie he was.” <- nevermind i’ve gone back to hating this book again

“what was one straight boy when you spent your whole life longing for the impossible?” <- i’m reminded of that time a few years back where everyone made ‘having an unrequited crush on percy’ nico’s whole fanon personality, so i’m glad they addressed this somewhat. this boy has been through so much and people really thought crushing on percy was the biggest thing to focus on about ‘nico angst.’

“we made a mistake. you have to fix it.” <- call me a red flag but if i was nico i would do anything and everything to not go. i would medicate myself so highly on sleeping pills that i can’t dream (doctor bf can go kick rocks). i would track percy and annabeth down and haul their asses into tartarus instead to do it. and if i had to go i would only go in to kill bob myself for sending me those traumatic ass nightmares. no thx. bro willingly jumped in himself and now wants me to save him. nuh uh.

not cupid being will 😭 its like his aphrodite 😭 i am not well.

they always have a really good and emotionally moving scene and they ruin it with a dumb joke. let it be heavy 👏👏

something’s really fishy and i have a feeling that it might not be bob calling for him

if this whole “grumpy ball of darkness” thing continues i will actually lose it

you can’t tell me the percabeth pep talk was actually needed. i will forgive it because i miss them though

im sensing tension in the gap between nico’s connection to the underworld and his relationship with will and i’m here for ittttt. give me the dramaaa

who is the gorgyra girl and why is she in their business sm?

oh shit a will solace pov??? christmas came early 🙏

nevermind that whole nightmare sequence was so fucked up 😭😭

somebody HELP HIM i never thought we would get will angst (nico angst fs, but will???)

DONT JUMP IN THE STYX PLEASE

SOMEBODY TELL HIM HE’S HELPFUL OMG

nico strangling epiales in his sleep is so fucking cool he’s literally HIM he’s literally THAT GUY

[delta-lethonomia]

Tav’s name was originally Avery.

(Some thoughts below about developing a backstory for Tav from For All the Wrong Reasons, and how taking a joke to its logical conclusion can lead to some sad places + some thoughts on Dorsey, Tav's mum. No spoilers if you're caught up.)

I was reading a bunch of fanfic at the time (early August) and found all the different names for the same “role” confusing and annoying. All these fics with "Elizabeth/Anna/Tavella/Taviron/Tammytav/etctav" were either short enough that their names didn't matter, functioning as a mere annoying placeholder, or confusing, because I couldn't tell if this was the player insert "Tav", "The Dark Urge", or another character entirely. So instead, I figured I'd just stick with Tav for my "one-shot." (Hah!)

“Tav” is kind of a difficult nickname to work with (unless your name is Gustav lol), but all the vaguely elven/fantasy vibes names people came up with seemed even more unwieldy, but I certainly couldn’t come up with anything better. So I got to thinking - why not go full ridiculous, and make up something so awful everyone immediately understands why she goes by Tav instead? Easier on me, easier on the readers, let's never speak her full name again.

I looked up a bunch of dnd elf names + common suffixes => Tavortheylinith. It’s so bad! Who would name a half elf something like that? Alright, the elf must not be involved, so probably a human mother. But the name’s still stupid - surely if you know an elf well enough to get pregnant with them, you might know some basic naming conventions? Ok, a one-night stand, and a mother who doesn't know any elves, yet wants her child to have such a long elf-inspired name? That's a lot of hope to place on a kid. Hope to reconnect with the father? Why care so much about a one-night stand who left her knocked up, but she presumably didn't catch their name, as otherwise why not just do a female version of the father's name instead? Or stick with a name from her own culture, an honor name for a relative, anything?

...The mother's a teenager. A young teenager - young enough that making up a name from whatever elven names she's heard of seems like a good idea, the tragic equivalent of the cursed Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way of My Immortal fame. Thirteen, Fourteen? No parents, or at least not involved ones to stop this tragedy from happening. Elves are long-lived, and it's a bit of a trope to give them few children as a result; I assume any elven teens aren't shacking up with their fellow human fourteen-year-olds, at least not here, where young Dorsey doesn't even catch her paramours' name. So - older elf. An adult.

Why is young Dorsey, parentless, having a child with an adult Elf she doesn't know? She's not mad at him, she hasn't been raped - she makes up a name for her special baby, in honor of her other side, her special, half-elf daughter, with a Mary Sue worthy name. She places all her hopes on this baby, and there are so very many: she's nothing but a child herself, and has already given up on her own future.

Dorsey's a child prostitute. Maybe she's too poor to afford contraceptives, maybe she was arrogant enough to think she didn't need them, or skipping a day was fine, or maybe lonely Dorsey wanted a cute baby, a family, something to have that could be only hers; and a break from working on her back, even if other jobs don't pay as well. Later, she tells Tav that her father left without paying, or perhaps that he stole the money back the morning after, because it absolves her of having made a mistake, of being the wrong type of role model to follow.

Little Tavortheylinith is going to grow up better. She'll go to school and have a roof over her head, and it'll be her and Dorsey against the world, together. She'll never kick her out like her parents did to her. (She does.) Tav won't have to sell herself like she did. (Tav volunteers instead.) Elves are naturally good at magic - maybe she'll grow up to be a wizard, a rich one, and everything will be great. (She won't.)

(Tav grows up to become just like her mother.)

[coraxaviary]

If you had to choose an actress to portray June, who would you choose if any?

Okay, so like. I've been thinking about this all weekend and I still don't have an answer so I figured I might as well be honest because I'm not too knowledgeable about actors!

This kind of reminds me about my initial thoughts on adding character descriptions in the fic, because other similar OC fics I'd read had them. Problem was, I couldn't get any descriptions I added to *not* sound like Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way so I sorta gave up. She's got dark brown hair and is about 5' 4" but anything beyond that I gladly leave up to the imagination of the reader.

Okay, back from the aside:

I don't have anyone in mind who looks like June, but I will say Evan Rachel Wood in Westworld played one of the most compelling protagonists I've seen, and her range would be great for the role. I also think Lauren Cohan (Maggie, TWD) really does the tough-girl-fighting-through-trauma thing well... uh, yeah oooof... which is what I'd be looking for especially for the post-Normandy portion of SiA. Florence Pugh really convinced me during her grieving fits in Midsommar, so maybe she's on the shortlist too? Jennifer Lawrence was really great as a sad soldier type character in the latter half of The Hunger Games -- not that I particularly like her, but I kinda love Katniss.

If I think any harder about the movies I've seen in my life, I think I'll probably combust so that's it for now. I can't come up with actress names for the life of me

[thequietmanno1]

Thelreads, MHA 265, Replies Part 1

1) “HEEEEY- IT`S FAT AND AMAJIKI, AND MY BOI CROWBOI. THE GANG`S ALL HERE, ALL ACCORDING TO KEIKAKU*”- I swear, for a hot minute I thought they were calling out for Koichi before I noticed the translation. Though, his name being so similar does make sense, since his usual go-to strategy is to hold the line until a hero comes around to sort the problem out. 2) “Oh right, we`re in the middle of the Overlook raid, and all the baddies are left underground, to suffocate and slowly cannibalize each other, or dare to go upstairs and be murdered.”- Well, they’re only trapped in there as long as it takes somebody to figure out a way to give the doomsday knockoff an order he can interpret as coming from Tomura. It’d be almost hilarious if the situation wasn’t so perilous, a being of possibly All Might-like power and endurance contained in the basement and held back from attacking the heroes by the flimsiest of tethers, and they have no idea about him. Gran Torino got a glimpse of his power back when arresting Kurogiri, but none of the heroes at the lodge have any inkling of what he can do when he gets going. He’s a walking ‘Uno Reverse’ card waiting to strike, and the only hope the heroes have is that only a certain player in the game can put him into action… 3) “And apparently we`ll have to wait a bit longer until we can have some closure on all that shit going on with Hawks, now we`re back to murdering low-level criminals outside.”- There’s a lot of orbiting plotlines going on in this operation simultaneously, sometimes running into each other or overlapping if a big enough event occurs. Personally, overall I feel it’s doing a good job of keeping the chaotic flow going, focusing on the major points whilst leaving a lot of room for expansion in some lesser fight scenes as needed. 4) “OH, AND RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE MY EMO KID IS GOING TO SHINE, TIME FOR BOCCHI`S GRANDKID TO SHOW WHY HE`S A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH���- None are prepared for the majesty of the fruit centaur. 5) “OH JESUS CHRIST AMAJIKI

ARE THOSE PINEAPPLES AND DURIANS AT THE END OF YOUR WHIPS?

JESUS THAT IS ABSOLUTELY BRUTAL. NEXT THING YOU`LL PUT THEM ON A PIZZA, THEN I`LL KNOW THAT YOU`RE NOT HERE TO BE MERCIFUL”- I think those are actually Durians. You know, the type of fruit that smalls like raw sewage washed with refined fertiliser once you crack open the hard-outer shells. Any poor bastard who got hit with one of those in the face would soon be wishing they were dead if the spiky flail burst open. 6) “Now let your goth brother do his thing, Tokoyami is gonna invoke the nightmare of ebony darkness dementia raven way and obliterate the whole hotel.”- If not for the sunlight angle for the above-ground sections, Tokoyami’s power level when using Ragnarok is easily capable actually doing that. Boy went for a line-backer tackle against MHA’s version of the Hulk and actually won out, even if on a technicality. 7) “Alright, that one goes to the impressive displays of powers, that`s for sure, but unfortunately the big boss is here to block your way

well, I mean, your mission was to block this way, but he`s gonna block you from blocking- you got the idea, let`s see the forces of Darkness and the forces of Evil clashing, alright?”- Avian darkness vs Abs of rage. Bird wins, K.O.

8) “JESUS CHRIST KID HOW FUCKING STRONG DID YOU GOT WHEN I WASN`T LOOKING? REDESTRO WAS EVEN AT FULL STRESS POWER! SURE, YOU CAN ARGUE THAT HE ONLY MANAGED TO PUSH HIM BACK BECAUSE HIS PROSTHETIC SNAPPED, BUT EVEN SO, FOR THAT TO HAPPEN TOKOYAMI HAD TO PRESS HIM ENOUGH TO BREAK THE LEG, OTHERWISE REDESTRO WOULD`VE KEPT AN ANGLE THAT WOULDN`T FORCE IT THAT MUCH”- Ragnarok draws power from the darkness itself and doesn’t seem to take any physical strain out of Tokoyami himself when using it- the main issue was that it becomes more strong-willed and free-minded in dark areas, and so is at risk on turning on the heroes as well. Pointing it straight down at a room full of villains in pitch darkness was like firing a massive cannon at them- done properly, the recoil on the shooter was minimal, whilst the projectile only gains speed and force the further it goes. And it says a lot about Machia’s power level that even in this state, Ragnarok just Nope’d out of there rather than risk aggravating him or making him retaliate.

9) ““NEARLY STOOD UP” YEAH TOKOYAMI, THAT`S A BIT OF UNDERSTATEMENT, EVEN IF HADN`T PROSTHETICS I THINK THAT REDESTRO WOULDN`T STAND A CHANCE AGAINST ALL THAT POWER”-Redestro might have been able to better block Ragnarok’s charge or perhaps even deflect it away if he’d been better able to endure the pressure, but steel replacements simply can’t compare to his lifetime of training his body and mind to withstand immense stress.

10) “OH MY FUCKING GOD IS THAT FATGUM TRANSPORTING TOKOYAMI LIKE A GODDAMN KANGAROO? AM I SEEING THIS RIGHT?”- Behold: The Fataxi! Comes with inbuilt airbags to ensure safe passage of occupants from location to location.

11) “TOKOYAMI PLEASE I CAN`T TAKE ANY OF THIS CONVERSATION SERIOUSLY WHILE YOU`RE LIKE THIS”- It’s nice that the heroes, whilst still having kids on the frontlines, are still going the extra mile to make sure they’re not too involved with the potentially dangerous stuff up-close. Tokoyami and Kaminari’s presence was mainly being uses as a long-range shield and attack option, and it’s the pro heroes who are tackling the villains first and foremost whilst the younger kids play clean-up swiftly behind them. Now that his role is dome, Fatgum’s next job is being a safe escort for Tokoyami out of the danger zone before turning his attention towards capturing any villains. The heroes might have needed all the aid they could get, but they’re still not going to place the kids in excessive danger intentionally.

12) “And boy this is going exactly as badly as I`d expect, Twice duplicates at a frightening speed, but he`s not able to keep up. Hawks is too fast with his feathers, and he just needs a single hit to cut one of the clones. Twice is not at the right mental state to be able to overpower him in numbers, this is not going to end well. I`m starting to get afraid that eventually Hawks will aim at the wrong target and hit the real one instead of a clone.”- If the issue with Twice’s duplication is ‘numbers’ then countering that with swifter ‘speed’ before said numbers exceed a certain threshold is the only option, not unlike space invaders. Since the heroes don’t have somebody like All Might who can combine massive force with equal speed, ambushing Twice and intentionally preventing him from gathering enough clones/momentum behind him is the only relaisitc option to neutralising him, either non-lethally, or permanently. If Hawks hits the real Twice in this fight, it will not have been an accident, but nothing less will stop this man powered by friendship anymore. @thelreads

[franki-lew-yo]

Edward Scissorhands-splaining

Edward Scissorhands is, first and foremost, a modern retelling of Frankenstein.

The twist is that the public loves the wretch and exploits him in the name of love but turns on him when he’s corrupted by their own doing. It shows you, through this, how the monster BECAME a monster.

Edward is usually seen as this completely innocent passive cinnamon role. He IS passive, that’s the point and the appeal of his character, but he’s NOT innocent by the end. He’s only as innocent as what he’s told and wants of people, which is some kind of companionship. He doesn’t think for himself because he isn’t taught to. His adopted family expect him to know what they haven't taught him, as demonstrated by the scene at the dinner table when Peg asks Edward what to do if he found a bag of money.

The one thing Edward wants is something he’s constantly talked out of- changing his hands. Really I’d argue the depth of Edward’s character isn’t so much a “be yourself” kind of thing as it is body dysphoria. One of the saddest moments is when Edward is on a talk show and asks if he can somehow see a doctor who might be able to help him, only for a woman in the crowd (and the audience) to basically talk over him. The moment is sad because you know what is to come and it's an ugly premonition for the second half of the film.

Everyone treats ES like it’s a tragedy on account of what everyone else did to Edward and not what he became because of their influence - which is a murderer. And if you know the inside scoop on Burton's personal feelings towards his movies, you know that this is actually a problem he takes with Edward Scissorhands. To him the movie is a social commentary first a foremost and he thinks Edward killing Jim ruins the story. I used to agree with him...and now I kind of don’t.

I think Edward Scissorhands is like if The Elephant Man had a happy ending. In that film the exploited freak gets his chance to know what it’s like to be human, and in the end decides to die cause he decides he doesn’t want to be part of society.

Here - the freak is pushed to the limit. He knows through Kim that he has lived and loved and may never have hands like he wants, but is happy just to have known what it’s like as he lives in isolation where no one can hurt him and he can’t hurt anyone else ... but he'll always give them the gift of snow.

---

I think if you go in knowing this is a self-contained gothic Frankentale first and foremost and not some incredibly insightful look into society, you'll appreciate Edward Scissorhands more. I don't think Tim can really do a true beatdown deconstruction of society as much as he can deliver some very on-spot disses of the society he knows, which is uppermiddle class white suburbia. In a sense, monster stories like ES tell us a lot about society on their own and I think that the neighbor characters in this film are really interesting. It's basically a character study of a sea of Karens and it's really well acted in the end when they all think Edward's dead. They kind of wordlessly realize "oh...we're kind of the bad guys here aren't we?" and I love that bit.

If I could do one bit of script doctor on this movie the changes I'd make would be:

make Jim more interesting like the rest of the neighbors. I could care less if Edward kills him or not, but he's basically the 1 dimensional prep to Edward's Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way --which I THINK is what Burton's real problem with this character was.

have it that the religious nut who's always hated Edward and whom the town rallies behind in the end show her true colors and be all "YES WE DID IT WE BEAT SATAN THE WRETCH IS DEAD" while the other neighbors look on in horror like 'oh wow we really were following her for a sec there crap now she has an alibi'.

[thornescratch]

Dog days of off-season question inspired by your Star Wars posts: would you like a lightsaber? (Assuming you could also chose to have the skills to use it. Or not, that would also be funny.) And if yes, what colour?

Well of course I would want a lightsaber even if I didn’t have the skills to use it. (Probably especially then. It’s a deadly laser sword, sign me the fuck up.) As for color... So I grew up on the OT trilogies, and only bothered with a very specific subset of Legends material, and skipped right over the Clone Wars and Rebels cartoons until I had to learn about them for more recent shows. So, basically the lightsaber colors I knew were blue, green, and red, and red was pretty obviously meant to be evil, even before we learned about Sith and kybers and bleeding them and so forth. I didn’t know anything about the color significance; I think that mostly came later. So while it was cool to see new colors in the Prequel trilogy and and the cartoons, in some ways it just never hit the mark with me. (Mara Jade’s magenta one made me guffaw unkindly; her whole deal still feels very Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.)

I like red as a color, but, you know, evil, and the idea of torturing a sentient rock to turn it that color for the ~aesthetics~ is a bit beyond my moral code. Though it would be pretty baller.

I always rather liked yellow and might easily lean that way, except one friend said to me, “But then you’d have a Pittsburgh Penguins lightsaber,” and I paused and then said, “GODDAMN YOU,” and now I can never get that out of the back of my head and yellow got ruined. (But I still like it, and eventually I’ll shake that association.)

So, it’d probably end up green. Because Luke’s my favorite, and I like emeralds (birthstone!) and the color in general, and it still looks pleasantly dramatic when lighting up in a dark area. And, I mean, I’m not kidding myself I’m going to end up with something super special or unique. So, yeah.

I do not want the Darksaber. As cool as it (is supposed to look, they haven’t managed it well so far) looks, I already hate being in charge of shit at work; having to be the Mand’alor is high on my “do not want” list.

[hellspawnsparks]

I am intrigued by your flutter shy can you tell me more about your design choices such as why is she all cool and dark and glowy thank you sir

the short answer is because i like fluttershy and i like things that are goffik might as well rename myself ebony darkness dementia raven way

 the long answer is that i realized fluttershy has some interesting aspects of her character where like she does some weird shit you dont expect her to all of a sudden. she hypnotizes animals with her eyeballs and she has this sudden freaky knowledge of sewing [in green isnt your color i think] and shes so incredibly shy she literally doesnt say a full coherent sentence to twilight when she meets her first episode?? that shit is prime territory for giving her some weird freaky eyeball thing that she may or may not be embarrassed about since i still feel like just being a weak flier is kind of a shitty excuse to get bullied all the goddamn time. do you see unicorns gettin shit because they cant lift three bears without breaking a sweat? nah son but we see pegasi who seem genuinely content just chillin away from cloud city and lando calhorsean all the damn time and they dont need that kind of pressure youre not bound to do flying as a core part of your special whatever just because you got wings. ive got legs but im not all “look at my legs im gonna be the fastest runner in all of humanquestria im gonna be so good im gonna impress the people who run professionally and youre a hopeless motherfucker cuz you cant run” speaking of which. what the fuck even are the wonderbolts are they the horse airforce [airhorse?] or are they just some fancy dudes who fly around and get medals and shit ive never understood this

[fantroll-purgatory]

@boisonbapple

Hey its me again with another fantroll, and here we have a wonderful heiress

Alternia or Beforus or some type of AU?

Alternia, during the time of after Trizza and before Feferi

Name (preferably include how you came up with it and why):

Peptoe Bizmal, she was named as a joke, her name came before her design, me and a friend were joking on how Peptoe Bizmal was a valid troll name so we used it, also Peptoe is fuchsia and pepto is pink.

OKAY, this name is very funny, naturally, but it’s also like… kinda random. So we have a few options here. 

1) We can either change her name to something themeatic like… Evnesc Turnen (a reference to Evanescence and the former lead singer of Nightwish, Tarja Turunen). Or like… Jkilla Ebonee (a reference to Jay Killa from Vampires Everywhere! and, of course, Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way). 

2) We can KEEP Peptoe Bizmal, but we have to make it fit her theme somehow. Sooo… Pepto-Bismol, otherwise known as Bismuth subsalicylate, is a medicine that is used to help people obvs, but that is also Kinda Toxic. As with all medicines, repeated use is bad. So maybe we can throw it into her themeing personality…wise? Like maybe she’s a great person to be around occasionally (teaberry-flavored personality and all) but if you spend too long with her she can turn toxic on ya real fast. Scene kid DRAMA, y’know. I think if the name Peptoe Bizmal is kept, you’ve GOTTA pull in more Bubblegum Pink, though. When you go Bismol you go full Bismol. 

Age:

8 sweeps, or 16 years old.

Strife Specibus:

2x3dentkind, like all fuchsias

Fetch Modus:

Hoodie pocket, item goes into a Hoodie pocket (and it will never fall out) and the user has to wear a sweatshirt with the items in the pocket

See now that’s not a Fetch Modus, that’s just wearing a magic jacket. We need a LITTLE more inconvenience than that. 

So you know how like… Scene kid buttons were(/are) a big thing? 

Maybe her items get stored as Pins With Edgy Phrases. She has to reach into a Pin Bag and try to sus out which one relates to the item she’s LOOKING for. 

Blood color:

Fuchsia.

Symbol and meaning:

Pilo (Prospit + Heart).

Sign of the Spirited.

I like me some hidden signs, they’re on her shoes

Trolltag + Grype:

Kinda lost on this one

Well my first and most obvious joke is sleepingSiren, as a reference to sleeping with sirens LOL. bumblegumBass could be another fun one. bactericidalRomance? panickedFischo? eatedCookie? Okay now I’m having too much fun, but any of those should work.  

Quirk:

Lik hOw a sCeNe girl tAlks??? o.O

oh teh noes O_o

Well obviously you gotta be sure to ALWAYS turn “the” to “teh”, use as many x’s and z’s as possible, and use *asterisks for action*. such as when Peptoe *epically glomps her bffzzz >XD* 

Special Abilities (if any):

She’s a seadweller and that’s it

Lusus:

Big ol glubglub

Personality:

She’s the highest up so she’s a bit snobby, but is just genuinely friendly most of the time, but she can get snippy and rude if something gets her to be offensive, she kinda sees herself as the best due to being a fuchsia, but she tries to ignore the fact that when she reaches adulthood, she’ll lose the battle against condy, she also tries to act “random” and “quirky” matching that persona she gave herself.

Oh super convincing for a Scene Themed Character. Like I said above maybe she could be a liiil on the toxic side. Like, scene-kid era impulsive lying to be more impressive. Myspace Drama Causing Fool. If you hang out with her for a little while she can be great if kinda… awkward, but her deeper internal feelings of superiority and also general natural can just kinda make you either nauseous or just frustrated after too long 2gether. Best taken in small doses. 

I also like the idea that she’s nervous about the Condy thing. Is that why she built this persona? Is she just trying to live it up while she still can? Is it REBELLION against the system but she’s fuchsia so she doesn’t Actually know how to rebel against the system so she does it with eccentric fashion? That’s a great idea. You can expand a lot on that conceit. A character who feels trapped in a situation w/ no way to fight against it can often try to exert control in odd ways.

Interests:

She likes what is considered weird, creepy, and unusual, as well as horrifying cute items too, she likes east alternian animation since not everyone likes it and it’s considered quirky for her to like it as well as she likes emo bands like troll mcr, p!atd, and fob, she finds it fun to go find abandoned places and just hang out there, she likes collecting plushies of not cute things.

This is fun. I wonder if she might be interested in lowblood culture in general then? Or at least interested in co-opting its image a little bit. I mean, if she’s into creepy things and acting Super Quirky and Edgy, she might actually be really into the like, rustblood scene of Ghost Seein’. A lot of younger scene kids during the Scene Boom were really into that habit of pretending they had psychic powers and were really into ghosts. That’s something you could play around with, the idea of her Pretending she TOTALLY has psychic powers like a rust, for sure!!! Yeah she can SUPER talk to the dead. If she likes breaking into abandoned places, she could like hunting for ghosts, too.

Title:

Thief Of Heart

Honestly I miiight chalk her down as a Knight of Heart? She’s got a Whole lotta soul, a whole lotta identity, a whole lotta personhood and doesn’t really know what to do with it or how to utilize her Own self. Instead she relies on redistributing facades and putting up masks. Gotta learn to tune into her REAL feelings instead of hiding them. 

Land:

Land of Reflection and Overgrowth.

Overgrowth definitely feels a lil too Lifey for my liking. If I had to pick kind of just aesthetically/themeatically, I might say the Land of Bismuth and Parades. Bismuth is another callback to Pepto-Bismol, and Parades is, OF COURSE, a reference to Welcome to the Black Parade. 

Dream Planet:

Prospit

Design time!:

I obvs can’t replicate your really great style in sprite form, but here I go. From the top down: 

Hair: The bleached blonde aesthetic just doesn’t work on trolls, so I went with what I kind of assume is similar to a bleached strip in troll culture? Blood Colored Fluff at the back of her hair. I kept the red stripes, but I added the classic Scene Kid Raccoon Pattern. 

Face: Since she already had so much color going on, I brought the eye makeup back to that classic Scene Kid Dark Smokey Eye With The Heavy Shadow Under. She also got a Duck Face style lip and both gold snakebites and a gold nose bridge piercing. I added a plug earring on her right fin, because plugs are def associated w/ the scene look that this era Draws From. 

Outfit: I brought the shirt down to dark grey just to keep that color balance you were going for. Her belt got gold studs instead of silver and you may notice that she has a raccoon tail pinned to her belt, as was (and maybe still is) common for Scene Kids. Except hers is like. An actual lusus tail. Like she actually took it from another person’s lusus. Don’t worry about it. I brought her skirt to a Rustblood Red to emulate that idea I was talking about, of her ripping off and exploiting lowblood aesthetics. 

Shoes/socks: I wanted to keep the sock colors neutral here esp because there’s so little space to work with, so she gets mismatched stripes and checkers in black and white. And her converse have become Pepto-Bismol Pink. 

Tiktok Badapp is up next

But she’s my latest fantroll who I’m really happy about

She’s real great! Thank you for sharing!

-CD

[syntaxeme]

@bucketofchum replied to your post: I went to college…to learn to do the creative...

“I’m July Morgan. I have jet black hair and skin almost as dark. My breasts are humble but perky and nicely separated. My waist is narrow, but since I also have slim shoulders, I think they are fairly proportional. My hips are a bit too wide for my liking - the long dresses that I often wear tend to ride up, revealing more skin than I am comfortable with. My lips are full and luscious. I was always bullied because of them when I was younger so I am self conscious of that.”

1) I really thought you were about to pull a “my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way” on me and I was going to SCREAM because July does not deserve that. Nytep maybe but not July

2) Sadly, owing to the need to display everyone’s thought processes all at once, I’ve been forced to write this book in third-person--in fact, I’m not even sure I know how to write first-person well anymore. I’ve gotten too used to using my own voice as the narrator. >_>

3) July is entoirely too modest to mention anything about her breasts being perky or her lips being luscious... 

4) ...that being said, I might actually use some of these descriptors so thank you. ^^

[droo216]

Hey Drew, do you think you could go into detail and explain your feelings on the recent Harry Potter debacles (The Cursed Child and also what Pottermore has become)? Your opinions usually mirror mine but I'm having a hard time putting it all together. Cheers! Hope you're doing alright (I think you live in Florida?) watch out for that nasty, nasty weather.

Hey there! Let me see here. I’ll try to express my feelings, I’ll be eager to hear from you to see if you agree!

So basically the current expansion of J. K. Rowling’s wizarding world breaks down into three categories: Pottermore, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, and the Fantastic Beasts series. I’ll take them one at a time.

Pottermore started out as this amazing addition to the Potter fandom. We were all so excited to be officially Sorted into our houses, learn what kind of wands we might receive, and delve deeper into the world of Harry Potter. Pottermore was excellent at the start when we were learning more about Jo’s writing process and fun facts. Why were Hufflepuff’s colors yellow and black, for example. Even the character biographies we got at the start were thoughtful and creative and felt like an extension of the universe that was already there. Pottermore has deteriorated as we’ve moved further and further away from what Jo already had written down and we’ve gone deeper and deeper into material invented for Pottermore. Ilvermorny is obviously the biggest example here. The American copy-and-paste version of Hogwarts is so clearly an afterthought developed for a quick name-drop in the Fantastic Beasts movie. It truly makes no sense as an actual American school for reasons that plenty of people smarter than me have expanded on – the trivialization of Native American culture, the absurdity that one school would suffice for the entire United States, the dismissal of the canonically established Salem Institute. The inclusion of “houses” is particularly frustrating for me. I’m sure we have private schools in the States that have houses but in general it’s an extremely British concept that doesn’t translate here. More importantly, the Hogwarts house system is so incredible. The house mascots and colors, the association with the four elements, and the values prescribed to each category all come together in a truly beautiful way. Our generation in particular has come to adopt the Hogwarts houses as core elements to our personality. It’s our way of discussing our values – the morality of ambition, the importance of loyalty, the discussion of mind versus heart or knowledge versus instinct. The Ilvermorny houses belittle the brilliance of the Hogwarts houses and it honestly infuriates me.

As a tangent to this, I think Jo also insults her own system by continuing to sort the “good guys” into Gryffindor and the “bad guys” into Slytherin. Celestina Warbeck would have been a great good-Slytherin but Jo says she’s a Gryffindor. Dolores Umbridge would have been a fascinating bad-Hufflepuff but Jo says she’s a Slytherin. Remember that meta about how Hagrid’s house is never identified in the books and how it makes way more sense for him to be a Slytherin than a Gryffindor? The houses have so much depth to them, Jo even talks about how Hufflepuff is her favorite house, but she treats them in such a superficial way.

My frustration with the Fantastic Beasts series is not dissimilar to my frustration with Pottermore. Mostly my feeling with Fantastic Beasts so far is a lot like my feelings for Pandora – The World of Avatar at Disney’s Animal Kingdom: it’s beautiful, it’s amazing, but who cares? I don’t care about Newt Scamander and I don’t care about Gellert Grindelwald, especially if we’re going to continue to avoid Albus Dumbledore’s sexuality in telling this story. I wouldn’t mind all of this extra history if I had the history I want. I want Marauders! I want Founders! We know more about the founding of Ilvermorny than the founding of the school we actually care about! If we already had the stories that we’re all deeply fascinated by, I think we’d be more invested in these additional stories. Instead, the Fantastic Beasts series feels like a distraction so that Jo doesn’t have to tell the Marauders and Founders stories. Plus, including the abuser Johnny Depp in the cast is disgusting and infuriating.

Now we come to the ultimate insult to the Potter fandom: Cursed Child. I almost don’t know where to begin with this one. It is unfathomable to me that Jo, who cares so much about her characters, signed off on this and said it can be considered canon. There is just so much wrong here. The characterization of our existing characters, particular the Golden Trio, is so off. Hermione is a shadow of her former self; Ron seems to be based on the film interpretation rather than the book; and while portraying Harry as a misguided father is certainly an interesting choice and could be argued as a plausibility given the fact that he grew up without James and with Vernon, it is certainly the sadder choice, especially considering the wonderful father figures he’s had in Lupin, Sirius, Hagrid, Arthur, and even Dumbledore. It seems like this character choice is only there to serve up drama with Albus.

Next up, perhaps the most absurd piece of the Cursed Child puzzle, is Delphini Diggory. She might as well be named Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. Delphi is the worst part of the entire Harry Potter universe. Her very existence makes no sense - not only would Voldemort have absolutely no need or want for a child and no need or want to have sex with Bellatrix, it also doesn’t fit into the timeline as far as I know. On top of that, she is so illogical as a character, underdeveloped in every way and uncompelling as a villain.

The story itself is aggravating because it seems to be entirely manufactured as fan service while simultaneously letting the fans down. The time turner storyline is clearly all about allowing the play to show us scenes and characters from the original books, yet the scenes we go to are the Triwizard challenges where very little actually happens to advance the Potter story. It’s such an odd choice. And so much centers around the Diggory family, who we hardly know anything about and it’s not like we really learn any new information about them except that apparently if Cedric hadn’t died he would have become a Death Eater, which is so absolutely ridiculous. They clearly just wanted to show us some of the old characters and that’s where this story came from. Even in the present story we see how fan service affected the writing - Jo has said the McGonagall wouldn’t be headmistress by the time Albus got there, and yet here she is. I haven’t even touched on the concept of returning to the night James and Lily died and forcing Harry to watch this trauma or the various stupidities of the alternate timelines like Ron and Hermione’s loveless fates if they aren’t married to one another. 

Also, I have to mention that Jo establishes some very clear laws of magic that this story just decides do not apply. If we all just believe hard enough, we can make Harry look like Voldemort! I know there were other cases of this, but it’s been a while since I’ve read the play so I can’t quite remember them off the top of my head. I could say though that this is probably the aspect that makes the whole thing feel so much like fanfiction (along with Delphi). The Potter world has rules and Jo sticks to them very carefully. The play’s disregard for these rules is sloppy.

The final issue I have to discuss regarding Cursed Child is, obviously, the relationship between Scorpius and Albus. It's been discussed to death, I know, but any criticism of the play is incomplete without mentioning it. These two boys are great characters on their own. Albus living in his father's shadow is compelling. Scorpius in particular is a wonderful character. I also have to applaud the choice to sort these two protagonists into Slytherin, finally breaking the mold I talked about earlier. But the queer baiting in this play is blatant and painful. Honestly, it wouldn't be so bad if we hadn't forced Scorpius into asking out Rose at the end of the play. I get it, fourteen-year-olds don't always understand their sexuality, and maybe you could even say attaching Rose to Scorpius is part of that, but the play certainly doesn't imply it that way at all. It's particularly hurtful because Jo is amazingly progressive in her politics and actively talks about LGBT rights, feminism, Black Lives Matter, and so on, but she does not demonstrate all of these powerful values in her books, especially when it comes to LGBT characters. The only character she has identified as anything other than straight is Dumbledore, and even that is never mentioned in the literature, and if you know it's there it's still  only implied as a tragic barely-there subplot. The wizarding world struggles with diversity across the board. Jo's made steps. Casting black actresses as Hermione and Rose is absolutely incredible. We're starting to see characters of color appear in the Fantastic Beasts series, although way too slowly in my opinion. But despite all of her politics, Jo is dragging her feet when it comes to LGBT representation, and denying us even an implied future relationship between Albus and Scorpius is just... frustrating. I could go on and on about the details of their relationship throughout the play and how the writing clearly indicates feelings between them, but others who know the text more thoroughly have already been there and done that.

Basically it all boils down to this: Jo is giving us an overload of information that we either don’t want or don’t care about and denying us the stuff that we do. Maybe she should have quit while she was ahead. Goodness knows the Potter fans have enough creativity to fill in their own blanks. I can only hope that as Pottermore and the Fantastic Beasts series continue to grow, maybe she can do better. 

[arsenicolada]

I have seen that 'story' go around a lot and I still don't know what it is. WHAT is My Immortal??

Ok buddy get yourself comfortable cause this is gonna be a long one:

Let’s go all the way back to 2006, when the internet was just becoming a thing to young people. Back when a majority of the websites we know today were either just starting out or just starting to pick up in popularity, including fanfiction.net. A lot of fanfictions had already filled the archives, both bad and good, but one fanfiction in particular caught people’s attention almost immediately. And it was ‘My Immortal’ by “Tara Gilesbie”, or ‘XXXbloodyrists666XXX’ as was her username on the website. Supposedly taking place in the world of Harry Potter, this particular fanfic gets to a point where, had it not been for the actual characters’ names being present, you can’t really tell what it’s supposed to be referencing as it has very little acknowledgement of the source material’s canon. The story’s main focus is “Tara’s” self-insert OC, Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way. Also known as Enoby, Egogy, Evony, Ibony, or just Tara. To anyone who has only heard of ‘My Immortal’, it just sounds like your typical run of the mill “mary sue” fanfiction. But what made ‘My Immortal’ stand above the rest were three things: the butchered grammar, the author’s seemingly obsession with the gothic subculture, and the mary sue herself.

The grammar is terrible, there is just no other way to put it. “Tara” had a very distinct way of writing, which was better exemplified in her ‘author’s notes’, her little thoughts that she always puts at the very beginning of each chapter or sometimes at the end. And other times in the middle of her story, to either talk back to the ‘flamerz’, go on about how much she loves a band she mentioned, or point out a pun she made. And it all greatly resembles someone sending a text message:

“AN: STOP flaming! if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr! Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx! PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!”

That kind of style is present throughout the whole story. Granted the actual chapters have better spelling, but the way it’s put together is all the same. And it actually worsens the further it goes to the near point of illegibility. In fact, legend has it that the story’s grammar was apparently so bad that fanfiction.net deleted it due to the sudden drop of intelligence on the site. No one knows if that’s true, most likely not as that seems like quite a stretch. However, it was actually deleted, perhaps by Tara herself, though she later reposted it.

But the real kicker is exactly how the fanfic interprets the source material. Hogwarts is no longer a school of wizardry divided by bestowed houses, but is now a more high school-based setting where everyone is divided by cliques, though only three are present. Goths, preps, and posers:

•Goths are the good kids. They’re the only ones who understand this dark and depressing world better than anyone else, and shows their individuality by shopping at Hot Topic together and listening to the same exact bands. They’re also half vampires for some reason. And they’re all part of Slytherin even if they’re originally from another house in the actual story.

•Preps are the mean kids. They just like, totally don’t understand goths so they’re like so mean to them and call them scary and stuff. They’re all just bitchy and are like totally jealous of the goths and only shop at stores like American Eagle and only listen to crappy music like Hilary Duff. And all those stupid preps are in Gryffindor.

•Posers are just goth wannabes who listen to Avril Lavigne and probably don’t even know who Good Charlotte is. What houses are they even in, no one knows and no one gives a shit. They’re mostly there just to show the reader what being goth is really all about.

And above them all is the only true goth, the queen of Mary Sues herself, Ebony. Now the definition of what makes a “mary sue” has been drastically skewed over the years, and probably shouldn’t even be relevant anymore, but if you at the very least want a true-to-heart example, Ebony is the way to go. Tara’s obsession with being goth is greatly reflected in this character. She loves bands like My Chemical Romance, Good Charlotte, Simple Plan, and Evanescence (who wrote the song ‘My Immortal’ which this fanfic is named after). She shops at Hot Topic and wears the type of clothing that any 13 year old goth wishes they could. In fact, Ebony’s outfits are always described in great detail and takes up to almost paragraphs in every chapter:

“For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.”

And trust me when I say they only get longer. It isn’t just the outfit descriptions though, the whole entire story is written in Ebony’s favor. Like a Hot Topic being in Hogsmede despite it being a nonmagical store (not to mention being an american chain) and a club where Ebony’s favorite bands just happen to be playing concerts in despite being muggle bands. And how cutting, underage drinking, and smoking is glamorized as being “dark” and “beautiful” and has no repercussions whatsoever. And how there’s no uniforms so Ebony can show off her over the top wardrobe.

Since Ebony is the main character and this is a fanfiction, all of Tara’s favorite characters from the Harry Potter world are Ebony’s gothic friends and accompany her in Slytherin, even if they’re canonly in other houses as I’ve mentioned previously. And all of Tara’s hated characters are Ebony’s enemies, and are depicted as either nasty preps or a bunch of posers that belong in Gryffindor. It doesn’t stop there though, as all the male characters have a thing for Ebony because she is just so sexy and looks exactly like Amy Lee. But Ebony only focuses on her two main love interests, Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter, who now goes by Vampire Potter because he likes the taste of human blood.

This is all just the very basics of the fanfiction, there are plenty of more absurdities you’ll stumble upon the further you read. Like Voldemort and the Death Eaters disguising themselves as My Chemical Romance, Snape video taping Ebony taking a bath, characters from different sources making cameos like Marty Mcfly, the list goes on.

But what truly, TRULY made ‘My Immortal’ such a phenomenon is that no one knew if it was legit. There were two sides to how people felt about it, those who thought it was a real story and Tara at the time was another young angsty teen who had just been introduced to the internet (which would explain the terrible grammar and botched sex scenes), and those who thought the story was one big joke written by a genius troll who made Tara up as a persona, which was extremely plausible since everything about the story was so wrong and completely blown out of proportion that there was no possible way someone could’ve come up with it and been completely serious. But people on the other side have argued that they’d have a very, VERY dedicated troll.

One of the biggest factors to their argument was Tara’s friend Raven, who not only had her own OC named Willow that was featured in the story, but also had a helping hand in writing it. She even had her own fanfiction.net account called ‘bloodytearz666’. Raven was Tara’s creative filter, as she was in charge of spelling and grammar and came up with some plot points in the story. At least until chapter 16 when the two apparently had a falling out and Tara killed off Willow, but later brought Willow back as an apology. So this troll would’ve had to not only make Tara, but also make Raven as a means to support their persona, unless Raven was created by a second troll. But both of those trolls would’ve had to write other stories pre and post ‘My Immortal’, as well as manage several social media accounts, which is a whole lot of effort just for the sake of making a joke.

Since the story was made, many people have come forward claiming they are the mysterious Tara, with promises of more material and continuations of the infamous story. So no one knew for sure who Tara is or her whereabouts. Until now.

After years and years of shrouded mystery, “Tara” has finally logged back into her more than decade old account and revealed herself to be Rose Christo. As it turns out, she co-wrote ‘My Immortal’ with Raven, who was actually a real person and her friend, during a very hard time in her life. And it wasn’t for a reason most might have thought. She revealed that she purposely made it as bad as possible so she could gain enough publicity to find her younger brother that she had been separated from.

She even wrote a memoir about it that is set to be published in 2018, which you can read about here.

You can also read the fanfiction itself if you’re interested here. Even if it did turn out to be a fake, it’s still a very humorous read, and very interesting since we now know its backstory.

EDIT: So as it turns out the whole thing with Rose was a hoax and the real Tara is still out there. Waiting, longing, in a dark alley with her hand stretched out so that I may one day shake it.

[creativewritingfinalportfolio]

Short Story

The sun's warm rays spread over Northern California, illuminating the suburban town of Trabajando's grandiose houses and well kept lawns. Cycling back home after a long night working on the Bernie campaign in one of the city's many bike lanes was our hero Maple Lacroix. Maple parked her bike in the shed next to her modest but well kept house and glanced across the street. She noticed that the "for sale" sign across the street had been replaced with one declaring the property had been sold. She briefly wondered who could have possibly bought the least energy efficient house in all of Trabajando, but set aside her musings for a time when she wasn't half asleep. The next day Maple set off to work on her bike. She enjoyed the work she did for her paid internship at an up and coming law firm, but what truly made the position perfect for her was the flexible hours. She was immediately swarmed by a group of her coworkers upon entering the stout brick building. "Maple! Thank goodness you're here!" exclaimed Aspen, her coworker. "We're absolutely swamped! TPD has already received five complaints this morning about the Cringé family!" Maple's other coworker Chia clarified. "Who?" Maple questioned. "The Cringé family- they're new in town, just moved in across the street from you," Aspen said. "While everyone in this town prides themselves on being open minded, people just can't excuse wastefulness or toxic masculinity!" After careful examination of the evidence, Maple attended a one o'clock briefing on the situation. A man in a suit was giving a presentation at the front of the room. "As you can see," he said, "the Cringé family poses no serious threat to Trabajando." The room burst into chatter. Lawyers and other interns frantically scrambled to record the information. Maple, being familiar with the facts of the case, jumped at the chance to correct him. "You've got that wrong!" Maple's clear voice rang out. The room fell silent. "The Cringé family is the most serious threat to Trabajando we've seen in a long time. But not to worry. I have a plan." "Wait a second, you're just an intern!" The man in the suit cried. "I may be an intern," she glanced around the room, "but this is a really good idea, I swear!"

Maple marched through the doors of the Bernie campaign's main office with a stately air of purpose. The room looked the same as always- star spangled posters, a cardboard cutout of the senator himself, a few local high school students lounging around, sitting on top of the desks they were supposed to be working behind. Maple had grown relatively close to the politically active bunch, and decided they would be of great value in helping her with the mission. "Alright guys, I need your help," she declared. "Lit! Everyone in this town's already voting for Bernie, so we've been doing nothing for the past two hours," one of the teenagers said. Maple turned off the lights for dramatic effect. "A darkness has come to this land and we are Trabajando's last hope of defeating it. Without us, their ignorance and misinformation will only spread. We must fight... the Cringé family!" Her rallying cry echoed throughout the room. A girl in the corner turned the lights back on. "The what?" "I've mapped it all out for you," Maple pulled out a scroll from her messenger bag and unfurled it. "The Cringé family has four children. The eldest, according to our information, is stereotypical thirty one year old brony. The youngest is sixteen. I've dubbed her 'Gravity Falls Kintypes' due to careful examination of the before you follow requirements in her tumblr bio." Maple clicked to the next slide on the PowerPoint that suddenly appeared behind her. Teal words on a lavender background read "do not follow if you ID as Dipper or Mabel. I am literally both of them". A collective shudder spread throughout the room. "It gets worse," Maple warned. "Upward of twenty self diagnosed mental illnesses, plus neopronouns. The middle children are also threats. I've located the twenty year old's true crime blog, where she keeps a record of her adventures in shoplifting and serial killer fanfiction. But the fedora tipping seventeen year old... he might be the worst of them all." "We've never defeated a fedora tipper before!" cried a girl with her hair tied up in Sailor Moon buns. "I know," Maple conceded, "but nothing about this is anything like what we've seen before. What we need is a team of not just social justice warriors, but social justice heroes. That's why I've come to you four." "I want a superhero name!" the girl with the Sailor Moon buns announced. "What's wrong with Stacy Jeanette Webster? Your initials are already S-J-W," a scrub in the back of the room pointed out. "It's lame! I want to be Pilot Sun, get it? Like Sailor Moon?" "Unfortunately," an edgy looking girl with pastel pink hair and a nose ring groaned. "You reblog Sailor Moon stuff all the time, you aesthetic hoe!" The edgy girl flipped her hair. "Yeah, but only when it's my aesthetic." "Your superhero name would be Pastel Goth. You know, like in your blog description!" Stacy suggested enthusiastically. "Guys, we're not superheroes! If anything, we're admittedly less than stellar heroes seeing as you four have been sitting around here doing nothing all day when there's a real threat to our city outside!" Maple exclaimed suddenly. "Wow, saucy. You know, you're a real crunchy granola type but you can get pretty upsetti sometimes. Have some vegan spaghetti," commented a guy in a hoodie. "Come on, guys, Maple's right! We have to save the city!" Stacy urged.

After a few hours of careful strategizing, our heroes had a plan in place. Direct confrontation was decidedly the best attack method. They found the various member of the Cringé family doing exactly what they had predicted. Gravity Falls Kintypes was verbally assaulting the elderly bus driver for assuming her pronouns. With the power of recommending a therapist to help her work through her attention seeking issues, Gravity Falls Kintypes, now known by her birth name, Emily, was saved from a life of cringe. The brony was found harassing women at a local coffee shop. After a lecture on respect, the heroes decided to let him keep doing his thing watching children's cartoons. "As long as he's not hurting anyone, it's his life," Pastel Goth reasoned. A basic economics lesson was enough to get True Crime to stop her shoplifting habit. In fact, after learning how harshly workers were treated under American capitalism, she started working on the Bernie campaign. Her mass murderers blog slowly faded as her interests shifted from killing sprees to social justice. The final challenge was the fedora tipping neckbeard. Maple's blue Honda Fit pulled up outside the public library. "I'm scared. What if we fail?" Pilot Sun's voice quivered. "Failure is simply not an option. Besides, we have all the resources we need. We have MySpace Edgelord to bond with him over their shared edginess." The emo teen flipped her emo hair. "Science Side is an IT millennial- he knows every science!" The scientist zipped his hoodie. "We'd better get in there," he said. "The library's closing soon." Fedora Tipper was found on the third floor of the library reading manga left to right. The team hid behind a bookshelf. "Pilot Sun, go act like a clueless idiot," Maple instructed. "Roger that!" The weeb left their hiding place. She made her way towards another bookshelf. "I wonder if there's anything here my feeble female mind can comprehend," she mumbled thoughtfully. She reached for an old Blue Exorcist. "Oh absolutely not," the fedora tipper materialized behind her. "He's in position! Move in!" Maple commanded. Pastel Goth jumped into action. "Excuse me, were you in need of some help?" "I was just telling this female about the intricacies of dimensions and exorcisms. You know, basic stuff," the fedora tipper sniffed self righteously. "Dimensions, eh?" Science Side thrust himself into the conversation. "Ricky Kremer taught me all about those. (Smart science statement)?" A look of worry crossed Fedora Tipper's face. He didn't know any actual science. "Um, I- I was speaking in metaphor, you know, about the black hole of my soul." Maple's Cheshire grin spread wider as she watched the scene play out from behind the bookcase. "So he's trying to use edginess to walk back his pseudoscience, eh? Well, no one out-edges our secret weapon." MySpace Edgelord emerged from the shadows to join the fight. "Hey." She flipped her hair. "Want to listen to MCR unironically and cry about what an under appreciated character Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way is?" Fedora Tipper recoiled. Victory was in sight for our heroes. However, at the last second, the 4chan user broke out of the semicircle they had created around him and dashed towards the stairs. Maple knew there was only one thing left to do. She sprinted after him. "Aaaahjrfbueh!" she cried as she tackled him. They rolled down the stairs, still wrestling. "Maple!" the vegan's loyal team chorused. They peered over the balcony. "It's okay! I'm okay!" Maple assured them. She had pinned Fedora Tipper to the ground. After the team used their superpowers of logic and reason to convince Fedora Tipper to be a decent human being, they left the library. The sky was a vibrant shade of pink as they piled into Maple's blue Honda Fit. The warm California day had faded into a cool and breezy evening. "Hey Maple, how'd you manage to catch him so fast?" Pastel Goth asked. Maple shrugged. "Lots of cycling." "I'm starving!" Pilot Sun yawned. "I need to update my blog," Pastel Goth said, frantically pulling out her phone. "I love science!" Science Side exclaimed. MySpace Edgelord cried. Maple smiled. Her team of heroes had saved the day.