#mimin talks

[gopher-jade]

What endlessly frustrates me about the writing in the moon arc is that it is so focused on technobabble and philosophical arguments that it completely neglects what even made honkai such a good story in the first place - the masterful portrayal of the characters' emotions, struggles and growth.

We love Kiana because we saw and heard how she was a bratty kid, and then became depressed, and then slowly climbed out of that hellhole. Props to the translaters, the scriptwriters, the voice actors, the staff behind the CGs. Mei's arc was heart-rending also because we saw how crushed she was by Kiana's struggles. Seele in CG slamming her fist on the ground and crying to herself, "Move, you coward!" will always haunt me. Veliona seeming like a psychopath and being pit against Saule and then eventually reconciling was the best thing ever, because the team really did such a good job of making it really seem like Veliona might harm Seele, and then later of conveying just how much Veliona actually loved her.

What do we get of that kind of character-building in this arc? Basically nothing. The characters are so busy talking about the technicalities of Project Stigma that we don't really know how they feel about the whole thing apart from (stock action movie hero voice) "that is so despicable and we will stop you!"

Senti is thankfully an exception, because she doesn't bother engaging with conversation unless it directly affects her. And she's got the right idea!

imo, when it comes to storytelling, the worldbuilding only needs to be as coherent as is necessary for the emotional stakes to make sense. The writers have spent so much time trying to explain the tech to us that they completely forgot about establishing the emotional stakes. Anyone who's stuck around with Honkai this long knows that the worldbuilding doesn't really make sense. Things gets retconned all the time. Anything that doesn't make sense gets blamed on Fenghuang Down. The writers really don't need to spend so much time convincing us that the worldbuilding make sense. We already know, it doesn't, and we loved you anyway. Why did you stop doing what you were good at?

Another thing that takes time away from actually establishing the emotional stakes is the philosophising. Okay, so most of the world is going to die and be reborn as a new entity that isn't really them. But the characters we love are mostly spared from that fate, so why should we care? I know this might make me sound heartless, but I only care about these fictional nameless people because the characters I love care about them. These nameless masses are fictional. I don't care. I can't even tell if the protags even care about these masses outside of an abstract "killing people bad" ideology. I don't know if it's because I haven't cleared the chapter yet (the writing is just that boring; the trio just met Kevin). But after hours of gameplay, the trio have never displayed any emotion outside of mere disapproval. The kind I might have when I go "wow that person has such a shit take on things, but I'll just live and let live". What are they even fighting for?

Granted, I do think the philosophical arguments are interesting and I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any in Honkai at all. But I can only enjoy it to a certain point, and it's not even done well here. We don't get to see any of the protagonists actually engaging with the philosophical argument. From what I can tell, it's just "Project Stigma is the only way some semblance of humanity can live past Finality" "Okay but CE isn't as driven into the corner as PE, can you let us try our things first before you effectively kill all of us?"

That's not a conversation. There's literally no emotional grappling with the fear that maybe, maybe Kevin is right and they will really fail, and that if they miss this chance then all of humanity really will be doomed.

Not to mention that we already covered this philosophical argument with the Kolosten arc. "Do a small group of elite, powerful people have the right to decide the fates of the masses, even when they've arguably already made it a good deal for them?" The answer is no, not when the timeline and form in which they existed would no longer exist, and when they didn't even consent to it. We got it! We had to go through that long arc to reach the moon arc! We got it! Can we move on to the character arcs now?

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

it's the way you never know what exactly himmel was thinking, but you know without a shadow of doubt that he was so in love with frieren....... when his feelings get conveyed in silent moments and no words at all. when no words are needed for you to understand them but also, because no words were used, there will always be a gap in your understanding of them

[phosphophylight-of-my-life]

finally, some happiness in these chapters. so happy for you queen

[teshes-brainrot]

writing the genderbend AU is kind of funny because tesilina does all kinds of crazy shit simply bc she's not in the right mind. she's never in the right mind and in fact when she's left to her own devices she just gets worse.

no one can tell what she's going to do or feel, not even herself. she'll tell ailett "hey this is my plan" and she'll actually have something else in mind. that's fine though, that's all according to her plan. except she'll tell HERSELF that she's doing something for x reason and then a couple of weeks later she does the complete opposite because turns out that even she can't admit to herself how she actually feels. and it's because she's experiencing a bajillion conflicting feelings all at once. and also any plan she makes just makes everything worse and intesifies all the terrible things she's feeling inside.

[eggonog]

Rabbit (Yandere rich! oldtimy!OC x gn! reader)

My 3rd post!

Tw: Abuse, violence, abusive parents, murder, typical yandere stuff, sad boi :( ect.

Unedited

Version 1

~~~~~~~

William was so tired of this. The children looking at him as their parents whisper in their ear and point at him. Their stupid smiles as they walked up to him, waving. Trying to earn his favor. He hated it.

He walked out of the main hall, and down a hallway. But his rhythmic steps faltered when he saw you. Sitting alone in the corner eating a biscuit. He watched as you cracked it in half to give to your stuffed bunny. He almost laughed.

"What are you doing?"

You jumped and made a little squeak.

"...me?"

You pointed to yourself.

He nodded, and you stared at him with eyes as big as his shiny silver dinner plates.

"Who else would I be talking to?"

"Uh- Mimin...?"

He smirked. You were amusing.

"Is that what you named that thing?"

He pointed at your soft, yellow bunny.

"Yes, it is. And we are eating."

He scoffed.

"It can't eat, it's just a cotton ball wrapped in fabric."

You looked at him, horrified.

"How can you say that!?" You covered Mimins ears.

"He's sensitive!"

He chuckled. Very amusing.

He boldly walked over and plopped himself down next to you.

"I want the biscuit." He held out his hand, expectantly.

"Go get your own! This one belongs to Mimin."

You held your bunny close to your chest, turning away and protecting your precious friend.

He frowned, slightly upset. His hand lowered a little.

"Well, it's my party, so it's mine."

"No! We're the gusts, and you always have to treat guests with respect!"

His frown deepened.

His hand fell to his side, and he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Don't you want to be nice to me?"

"Why would I,"

You puffed out your cheeks, tears at the corner of your eyes.

"You were mean to Mimin!"

He had a confused frown now.

"It's just a bunny..."

"And you're just a boy!"

"a- "

He looked at you for a second, a surprised noise coming out. And then he started laughing.

"I like you. Would you wish to be my acquaintance?"

You blinked.

"What?"

Your posture relaxed, and you faced him again, your precious Mimin resting in your lap.

"I want to see you again after this, rabbit."

Your head whipped directly at him.

"I am not a rabbit!"

"Would you prefer bunny?"

"No! Call me by my name!"

Your cheeks puffed out.

He smiled.

"Hmm... no, I don't think I will."

You sputtered for a few seconds, looking at him offended.

"W- well- then I'm gonna call you..."

You looked down in concentration, trying to think.

He smirked and looked at you from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah?"

"W- what's... what's your... name?"

He smiled mischievously, jumping up and striking a pose, putting one hand on his chest, and the other one out in the air, closing his eyes, and dramatically stating;

"I am the second born of the Renali family and beloved heir to my father's business- William CogsWorth Renali! Pleased to make your acquaintance."

He bowed with just as much vigor, waiting for your response.

"Well then, I'm going to call you Coggy!"

His posture grew slack for a moment, and he looked at you as if asking if you were serious.

When you gave him a determined and mischievous look.

He stood up straight, snapping into place.

"That's not fair! You should call me William! It's what's proper!"

"Hmm, no, I don't think I will!"

He was exasperated.

You really were amusing.

~~~~~~~

You were sitting below a large, thick tree reading a book on a summer afternoon facing away from your mansion, when suddenly Will was beside you, hanging upside-down by his knees on a tree branch.

"Guess what I did today?"

"AH-!" You startled, flinching and dropping your book.

"Cog? Geeze, you startled me..."

He giggled, and let himself fall to the ground, now sitting to your right.

You straightened yourself out, brushing the wrinkles from your clothing and fixing your posture.

"Anyway, what did you want to tell me?"

"I passed my test~" He folded his arms behind him, crossing his legs and stretching out.

"What? First try?" You put your book in the grass to your left.

"Yep," He popped the p. "I'm a pro-fess-ional swordsman now. Please, hold the applause-"

"No one's clapping." You said playfully, tilting your head and bringing your left knee to your chest.

"Wa- but I'm the first-ever 15-year-old to become a knight-!"

He pulled his arms from behind his head and leaned forward, looking at you like a kicked puppy.

"They said i could be a tyrant when I grow up! They said I could over throw kingdoms- that I was more talented than most adults!"

"yeah, yeah, no- good job."

He pouted.

"You're being sarcastic!"

"No I'm nottttttt"

You picked your book up from the grass and started reading.

"What, do you want me to be smart like you? I can learn everything! Be smarter than you!"

You smirked and raised an eyebrow, nose still in your book.

"I highly doubt that, Cog."

He furrowed his eyebrows.

"What will it take? How can I impress you?"

"I dunno..."

"Commonnnnnn pleaseeee????"

"What are you please-ing for?" There was a smile in your voice "I just said I don't know."

He rolled his eyes.

"I swear, I could rule the whole world and you would still rather read than humor me."

He slumped against the tree.

"What are you reading anyway?"

"Nothing- HEY DONT LOOK-!"

You threw your book behind you as he tried to snatch it.

He had you pinned to the ground, a hand on either side of you. He glared down at you, playfully.

His normally perfect hair was falling down his face slightly, the golden tastels from his overcoat barely missing brushing your chest. His red tie was slightly loose, and he was looking at you with that... awful smirk that made your heart flutter.

"It's not that dirty stuff again- is it?"

Your face flushed- less from him and more from embarrassment now.

"No! It's not!"

While you were distracted trying to come up with an excuse, he reached over you and grabbed it.

"COG!"

You lunged forward and wrapped your body around it, keeping it away from him.

"Okay, okay! What do you want?"

He looked at you, laying on your back in the grass, face hot.

"I-"

He looked over you, slightly sprawled and breathing heavily. You were beautiful.

"I want- you..."

"...yeah? What do you want me to do?"

"...huh?"

"What do you want me to do..? You never finished your sentence."

"OH. Uh- I want... you to..."

"William!"

He froze.

The two of you scrambled up, and you threw your book to the side, where he couldn't see it.

"William! Where are you!?"

You could see the fear in his eyes.

"You weren't supposed to come see me, were you?"

"I... wasn't, no. No I was not."

He was panicking, you could tell. He had only gotten caught once before, and his father didn't come to get him... so why was he here? It would make more sense to send a servant to get him.

His father came storming around the tree, quickly slapping Will across the face.

"What have you done with your mother!?"

You gasped and took a step back. He grabbed onto his son's hair, shaking him.

"You horrible child!- where is she!?"

You couldn't do anything but watch, as your best friend got berated and beaten by his father in front of you.

"I don't know! I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"She's not in the mansion! She's not with her friends! She's gone! She always loved you more than me, what did you do to her!? WHERE IS SHE!?"

He threw his son against the tree and glared down at him. William started crying, and you took a step forward, instincts wanting to comfort your friend.

This caught his father's attention.

"YOU." He pointed at you, and you flinched. "You must know, what did he do with my wife!?"

"I- I'm sorry sir I do not know."

"Useless... Both of you!"

He kicked Will, and then angrily stormed off, leaving him to whimper and sniffle, curled in on himself.

The second he was out of sight, you ran to the base of the tree, sitting in front of him.

"Will..? Are you... allright?"

He sniffed, grabbing onto his hair, and biting his lip to stop from crying.

"I'm... okay."

He was shaking.

You slowly sat next to him and hugged him. Holding his head to your chest like a child.

He let out no noise, and that made you sadder.

"Hey, Cog? What did he mean about your mother being missing?"

Your clothes were wet with tears.

"I don't know..."

You sat in silence for about 40 minutes. He had long stopped crying, but you didn't let go.

You sat there, watching the sunset, occasionally singing a song. A few stray leaves fell down on the wind, softly falling to the ground. You stayed there all night, using his coat as a blanket. He fell asleep on your chest, with your songs in his ears.

~~~~~~~

He had asked to meet with you. It had been a while, a few months. You only saw him last at your birthday banquet. He bought you a thin gold necklace, with a small, intricate gold rose. In the rose, there was an itty-bitty clock. It dumbfounded everyone at the party how it could be as small as it was. Though it was a bit garish, you found it charming.

You were both adults now, and he owned his father's business. Your childhood friend had become more stern and lost his playfulness. An adorable teen had become a charismatic and flirtatious man.

You often wished you could go back to how it was before his mother ran out on them. It felt weird to see him acting serious and cold.

He acted different around you though, he had a soft spot for you. And you knew it. The way his normally perfect smile would droop to the left of his face, the genuine lop-sided grin he would show to only you.

He asked to meet under your tree.

Alone.

So here you were, walking up to it. You took a deep breath and walked around it.

You had matured, not enough to stop calling him by his middle name, but enough to drop the nickname. At this point, it would feel unnatural to call him by his first name.

"CogsWorth?"

Your hand subconsciously touched the trunk of the tree as you walked around.

"You asked to meet me?"

He was standing, looking into the distance, presumably thinking.

"Rabbit, you're here..." His fist clenched, but he didn't turn around.

"Yeah, it's been a while."

He nodded.

"so what did you want to meet me here for?" Your hand came off the tree, and you fiddled with one of the fingers of your glove.

"Do you remember the time my father came here?"

You frowned.

"Yes, I do. I was surprised when you wanted to come back here afterward..."

He shifted slightly. Was he nervous?

"How could I not come back? I wouldn't have been able to see you otherwise... It's not like I could not see you again."

You smiled. He changed, but he was still sappy at heart.

"I wouldn't have survived without you."

A frown found its way back onto your face. You could hear the last two words, even if he didn't say them. And you knew it was true. With his Mother leaving him and his father the way he was, he likely would be dead by now without hope. By his father's hand, or his own.

"oh, Cog..." Maybe you weren't mature enough to not use nicknames. It's not like anyone would call you on it.

"I can't survive without you..."

Your heart melted at that, but there was also... something bad forming in your gut.

"Did something... happen?"

He stiffened slightly.

"I can't get anything past you, can I?"

"cog... what..."

"What did I do? What's wrong with me?"

You were confused and taken aback,

"what happened. Cogswoth, that's what I was going to say."

He turned around and looked at you, he had tears in his eyes. But you couldn't tell what expression was behind them.

"I... did something."

You reached out and put a gloved hand on his shoulder.

"Cog..?"

"It was a bad thing... but... it didn't make me feel bad."

You were oafishly worried.

You looked at him, trying to read him.

He looked back into your eyes.

It was getting more difficult to read him, as he was being conditioned to keep his expression natural. But he softened up a little around you.

Still, you couldn't tell. But you didn't think he could either.

"My father, he's dead. I'm the man of the house now."

You didn't know what to think. But you knew exactly what he did.

"You think I'm a monster don't you?"

"What? Why would I? You've gone to war... you were even a general."

He grabbed both your hands in one of his own.

"But he was my flesh and blood..."

"CogsWorth, he was horrible. You of all people should know that."

He stared at you.

You stared back.

He slowly brought his hand up to your face, stroking your cheek. You leaned into it, and put your hand on top of his own.

"He said I couldn't marry you..."

"...what?"

"That's why..."

He stroked your hair.

"I don't understand...? Why...?"

He pulled out a ring, with a small blood splatter on it. He quickly put it on your finger and whipped the blood off his thumb.

"Will you marry me, little rabbit?"

~~~~

Back story for one of my ocs! since I just started my blog I will be slowly introducing my various oc's unless someone requests a certain thing. An alphabet for Will/CogsWorth might be coming soon, probably.

[tadc-funfair-au]

🌊{FUNFAIR AU FANKIDS}🌊

Here are the Close-ups of Mimine and pomnee's fankids in the order of the first child to the latest baby :

Katarina :♀️

15 years old

The teenage crisis in full swing

165cm

Always angry, have no patience with her siblings.

Want to find her charming prince and prefer to hang with friends instead of the caravan members

Have little respect for her parents.

She will eventually love her family

Blandine :♀️

11 years old.

The calm mothery like sister.

155 cm.

Is always there to help her mother.

Doesn't really like to go out.

Has a very soft and shy personality.

Leopold :♂️

8 years old.

The nerd brother who likes boring poesy.

Isn't always a fan of Pomnee's method.s

A loner and a book lover.

145 cm.

Is born in a triplet team with sven and agnabelle.

Agnabelle :♀️

8 years old.

The sulky sister who is never happy.

147cm.

Is quite chubby but no one minds shes cute. Maus she is too greedy.

Is rather down to earth.

Omnivorous.

Sven :♂️

8 years old.

The annoying prankster of the family.

148 cm.

Eats exclusively what Pomnee bring on the table.

Pretends to be brave but hes a total coward.

Nordin :⚧️

6 years old.

Is the crybaby of the group .

Is 139cm.

Insectivorous.

Prefers eating green caterpillars.

Isn't sure how to feel about their gender.

Likes to sing and watch birds flying.

Esmey :♂️

2 years old.

Not really talkative prefer to communicate with whines.

Not weaned, he's only nourished only with milk or soups.

110cm.

Was Procreate with the monster version of Pomnee so the baby is bigger. and will be exclusively Carnivorous when grown up.

[laylalatter]

You'll be regretful

IM FEELING ANGSTY, HAVE MIMIN ANGST. based on shuhua's prediction on Minnie's love life !!!

"I love youuu~!" Miyeon's voice echoed throughout the room.

"Miyeon.."

"Yes?" Minnie sighed, causing Miyeon to tense up and get nervous. "You know I love your blonde hair, right?" Miyeon sighed in relief, "You scared me! But yes, you talk about it too much, you really love me hmm?"

Minnie giggled, she loved seeing her girlfriend get nervous. "Let's make a bet."

"And that would be..?"

"When the impossible happens, when we break up. Let's dye our hair only when we've finally moved on from each other! Your hair would be blonde fore-"

"Minnie."

Miyeon cuts off Minnie, a severe and stern tone dripping from her words.

"Sure but-"

"But what?" Minnie tilts her head slightly, Miyeon takes a deep breath, holding both of Minnie's hands, then looks directly at her eyes.

"Let's not think of it as forever, it'll hurt more if we say that. Mistakes can still occur, and regrets can still be made. I feel the happiest with you, honest! But, we can't just promise each other. Logically, It isn't possible, and all it'll do is hurt more when the impossible happens. Minnie, I love you and don't want you to go through the pain of forgetting me, alright?"

Tears were already running down Minnie's eyes, she loved Miyeon so much, It's insane. Miyeon cares for her future heartbreak, she wants to stay by her side forever, and as Miyeon said, It's impossible.

~~~~~~~~

Minnie's figure can be found in the comfort of her own bed and home, unfortunately, it wasn't comfortable. The end of forever came faster than she had expected, not fast, but it felt as if their break up came so suddenly even if it was months ago. She's holding back tears, dwelling on a news article she had just read. 'Cho Miyeon and Jung Jihyun rumored to be back together!?'

Fuck, she really shouldn't think about it, she lost her right to be jealous. Worst of it all, she knows the truth, and the truth is, the two are actually back together. She just wishes death upon this feeling, she hates it, but she can't rid of it.

He has everything she used to have, being able to be seen by the public with Miyeon, having Miyeon in his arms, happily laughing with her.. he has Miyeon now.

To get her mind distracted from the emotional hurt, she clicked on one of their old series, "Up to (G)I-DLE" She watched till she got to an episode with shuhua reading the tarot cards, she's still impressed with Shuhua's new-found ability of predicting.

"Read mine!"

"Okay- what do you wanna know?"

"I wanna know about my love life!"

"Sure! Pick a card then give it to me"

"Here" "Hmmmm~"

"?"

"You'll be regretful"

It made sense now, and she didn't like it. Stupid fucking tarot cards.

[otomtalk]

Berasa kuntet mimin “ browse feed & follow @otomtalk for

Videos: Berasa kuntet mimin “ browse feed & follow @otomtalk for more “ Browse berita / cerita / Tips Otomotif sesuai hashtags >> otomtalk berita lucu motor Silakan cek berita dan update terbaru di menu HARI INI , link ada diatas atau browse instagram @Otomtalk dibawah ini: View this post on Instagram A post shared by OTOMotif TALK (@otomtalk) Kunjungi Sponsor kami Vespark Dealer Resmi…

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

i wuv hestio.....

[phosphophylight-of-my-life]

ok i recognise antarc and cairn, but who is that third gem. i almost couldn't recognise cairn too, please ichikawa ma'am the anime hair colours are what keep the entire artform from having casts that can't be recognised, i can't do this

[hermavvan-blog]

• CONGRATULATIONS • Your photo was chosen for us to repost ------------------------------------------ The best photo from IG @indrayede • • • • • • Selopuro, Jawa Timur, Indonesia what a beautiful sunrise do you remember when we talked about moments, light, colored and speed... i miss you Nik #cameraindonesia #geonusantara #instanusantara #serikat_fi #insanindonesia #indonesia_photography #indonesiajuara #wonderfullindonesia #lingkarindonesia #photooftheday #humanportrait #humaninterest #hi_photography #humaninterestindonesia #hi_idindonesia #_humaninterest�� #kings_third_age #people_infinity_  #turklikeben_people #sight_people #ig_masterpiece #instagram #selopuro #thebest_capture #worldbestshot #vsco #hipaae #icu_indonesia #jelajahblitar ------------------------------------------ Jangan lupa follow dan tag @_humaninterest di foto / video yang kamu upload. Gunakan hastag #_humaninterest Bila ada kritik atau saran silahkan tulis di kolom komentar atau DM mimin ------------------------------------------ https://www.instagram.com/p/CoHxglZSa7F/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[nazuna-tunnel-vision]

not to be rude but why on earth would anyone share links to fan TLs on the official server. you know, the one with the staff members who cracked down on the wiki?? who still have the power to say "hey we see yall posting these stories in full on xxx other sites so please take all of them down! :)" ???

[tadc-funfair-au]

{🌌MIMINE REF SHEET🌌}

{Basic Information}

Age: 21 years old

Gender: Feminine

Pronouns: She/Her/It

Romantic Orientation: Lesbian

Style: Gothic victorian

Role: Mime

Specie: Bat

Type: AI NPC

Primary Ability: Change game parameters by stealing the files

{Hobbies}

Gardening

Poetry

Stealing valuables

Taking risks

Singing

{Phobias}

Thanatophobia (Fear of death)

Phobia of horror

{Habits}

Prefers solitude during activities

{Habitat}

The Digital Lake Tower

{Relationship}

Don't Get Along With: The Sun, Jax, Ragatha Zooble, Gangle, and Caine

Get Along With: The Moon, Pomni (close bond), and formerly Kaufmo

Parents (Adoptive): Caine

Parents (official): Fabel and the moon

Other family : oggy (cousin) sun (aunt)

{Personality}

Insolent

Devious

Melancholic

Fearless

Cunning

Flirtatious

Empathetic

{Where Does She Come From ?}

Mimine was originally sent by an alternative circus with the mission to destroy Caine's work. She appeared in the digital world when it was still an empty field in the making process. Though initially lost and disturbed, she was taken in and cared for by Caine, who treated her like a daughter.

{What's Her Role ?}

Mimine's primary role is to be a mime originally but talkative as she is, she quite failed this role, She searches for herself in her identity. But she got some abilities to change game parameters by stealing files. This makes her a potentially disruptive force within the digital world.

{How She Acts ?}

Mimine have morbid and vampiric tendencies, she's is known for her daring and thrill-seeking behavior. Her relationship with others is complicated; she forms strong bonds selectively, notably with Pomni, and has a tumultuous history with other characters like Ragatha, whom she once bit, leading to her banishment from the circus tent.

[daphnedauphinoise]

Do you have a muse or an inspiration you look up to ?

Magdalena Frackowiak

So many models have come and gone but very few are like Magdelena. She was the og bad bitch, crystal girl, business woman and a Victoria’s secret model. A cool diva that repeatedly stood up for herself. Everything I want to achieve, she has done it. I have grown up around Polish people all my life and she all the qualities I love about my neighbours. She is truly hardworking, she shares, she is kind but she has that inital coldness that a lot of Eastern Europeans girls emit, which I love. Everything about her is so magnetic. Her sharp look, her bright personality and her slight husky drawl that comes out when she speaks in English, switching from her native Polish. 

She has the look. I don’t know what it is but I just want to continously look at her. Despite her strong features, she has that thing other  Eastern European girls have that makes her look delicate and ‘feminine’. I love her features because she reminds me of me. We both have the wide set high cheekbones and I had never really cared for them until her. She always stuck to a miminal makeup look and she wore black.. a lot. Guess who now wears minimal makeup and wear black !!  I found it the most fascinating that at the time of sharpie eyebrows and dark-brown contour sticks, she was sticking to what she liked and what she suited. She didn’t give in to fit in with the current trends and she didn’t let pressure get to her. She always wore the most beautiful black dresses and loevly pieces of jewellery that she desgined. Her signature black choker was always present in her looks as well. She kept the feminine look and looked dainty but still had that sharpness. She was very much a no bull-shit perosnality and I think that is why she came out so strong. She was a diva and she owned it. She knew who she was and she was solid. 

She was an amazing model. Few models do commercial well and even fewer can do high fashion but she did both flawlessly. It is quite hard to be able to do high fashion runway, magazines and VS. She was a Victoria Sceret Angel and she fully deserved the title and the acollade. Her end poses were some of my favourites of all time. A lot of other VS models would look constipated or they would look like how a child would look pretending to be sexy. You could tell that Magdelena didn’t struggle with that because she lived as a ‘Bad Bitch’, seduction was her natural state, and that put her above a lot of other VS models. I remember when the internet went wild because of her reponse to the question ‘What are you going to eat after the VS show’. Her response was perfect. She didn’t freeze up or say something awkward, she put her foot down firmly and called the reporter out for asking her a stupid question.

She has now deleted her instagram but back in the day she would have this ‘bad bitch hours’ where she would give you pep talks and tons of advice on absolutely everything. She would cuss, she would shout and she would absolutely make sure that you got it in your thick skull about the importance of self-love, self-care and self-respect. She would talk for 20 mins straight on her stories about setting boundaries and not letting people step on you.  At 14, 15 I learned a lot from her and I am always thankful for her advice that I continue to use for the rest of my life. She was transparent before models being candid was a thing. She spoke out about being hwp before it was a thing, she would tell women her seduction secrets, her secret diets- what she did for her fellow women was admirable. I don’t think she had ever even heard of the word gatekeeping. She was all about Leave No Women Behind and she backed that up all the time. 

I am so sad that she has now left the public eye but I will always be here rooting for her. I love her so so much but I don’t think I can ever quite express the love I have for her. She shaped my teenage years and because of her I didn’t fall prey to the usual insecurities that a girl in her teen years would go through. Wherever she is, I wish immense happiness and love for her.

Much love from her true fan,

Daphne xoxo

[a-vild-bluemyrtle]

On how to find your way home | Seth x OC | Post breaking Dawn | Fifth Chapter

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_______ Masterpost - find all the chapters: here

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Second Chapter - TWO: tumblr post - FF.net - AO3 - Wattpad

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Fourth Chapter - FOUR: - tumblr post - FF.net - AO3 - Wattpad

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FIVE

“If I choose you, you are going to be rotten tomorrow evening when I need you. But if I choose you” – I say picking up the second of the only three avocados in the store – “you’re going to be unripe tomorrow, so useless.” I sigh, curling my lips and then biting my bottom lip while thinking about which of them to choose.

“Don’t make me start with you, sir”, I keep going, talking to the third avocado.

I hear a slight cough next to me.

“Do you always speak to your vegetables or you’re just going insane?” Seth asks, looking at me with curiosity and then laughing out loud.

“Upsie”, I can feel my cheeks becoming hotter for the embarrassment. “I swear, it only happens with avocados, they tend to destroy my meal plans every time I buy them!” I try to justify myself, grinning at him and rolling my eyes.

“It happened with the lemons too, though”, he mockingly replies.

It has been an hour since Seth took me to this giant grocery shop just outside Forks, and the only things I have in my shopping basket are almond milk, greek yoghurt and lemons indeed. He is patiently following me through the aisles and listening to me talking to myself or the food and laughing from time to time because of what I say.

I wasn’t expecting to find him on my front porch this morning. I don’t know why but a part of me was happy to see him and be with him, and another part was almost relieved; and then, when he offered to take me to the grocery shop, both parts of me were enthusiastic.

“I think I am going to stick with the unripe one”, I say, picking the avocado up and then immediately put it again in his place. “Or maybe not…”, I continue picking up the first one, again.

“Oh, damn, choose one Cordelia”, I finally say picking again the unripe avocado.

Seth shakes his head, chuckling and then follows me while I start walking through the aisles one more time.

“How can you spend so much time here? Don’t you get bored or something? I usually hate it.”

He says, helping me picking some packages of pasta from the top shelf, obviously too high for me.

At those words, I freeze, thinking that maybe he showed up to my house just to ask me something quickly and go straight away. Guilty feelings start taking control of my stomach and without any logical reason, I kind of feel bad because of his words. Am I bothering him? Or worse, annoying him?

“I am-I am sorry. You could have said it. I…”, it is just a whisper, said while lowering my head, but I think he heard it because I see him freezing too, his arm still up with the packages of pasta in his hands. He looks at me, frowning his eyebrows, and then he realizes. His eyes widen and he opens his mouth to speak but he can’t say anything at the beginning.

“Wait… NO! That’s not what I meant. I am not… Take all the time you need; I don’t hate it!” He says vehemently, never looking away; his eyes stuck in mine, dark brown into caramel.

I see him blushing, or at least I think so, it’s slightly hard to say considering his russet skin, a bit darker than mine. Anyway, he looks so cute.

“No, but seriously. If you have to go, don’t worry. I can call Jake or Rachel, or even Paul to pick me up”.

“I took you here, Cordelia, and I am the one who’s going to bring you home.” He says as we start walking again. “It’s that…”, he rolls his eyes, a little embarrassed, “every time I come with mom or Leah or they send me here alone, I can never pick the junk food I want. I have to buy all this healthy stuff they’re obsessed with…” he finishes the sentence jokingly miming a repelled expression.

I sigh, shaking my head and grinning.

“Yeah but… today, you’re here with me…” I say, signalling him to follow me with my free hand, and I guide him to the junk food aisle.

“And you can pick whatever you want. Really…anything”, I continue, stopping him at the beginning of the aisle and moving my free arm gesturing a grand entrance.

He looks at me, confusion in those big eyes. I huff, moving ahead and stopping near the chips’ shelves. Then, with a single movement of my arm, I make a lot of random chips bags fall from the shelf directly into the basket. I look at him again with a knowing smile. He finally realizes what I mean.

“No. No, come on. I can’t take advantage of you”, he immediately replies, earning an angry look from me. I cluck my tongue in disapproval and then I huff again.

“Please. It’s the least I can do after this. You’re wasting your time here with me even though you don’t like it!”

“It’s… I didn’t mean that”.

“Whatever you meant; I don’t care. Chose anything you want. And If you feel guilty about taking these things home with you, we could always eat them together at my place”. I say naively, smiling at him.

Talking to Seth in this way is so easy, as it is to be around him. It almost feels like we have known each other since always and not just three days ago.

I see a smirk appearing on his face.

“In this case, I think I am headed to the ice cream aisle”, he replies, raising his eyebrows slyly.

“Coming right away with ya! I need to reload my stock of peanut butter and salted caramel Häagen-Dazs”.

We both laugh as we start walking again. I swear I have never been so light-hearted as I am right now next to him. I have not stopped smiling since he showed up and I am glad he did. These last few days have been so difficult and lonely, and I needed to get out of the house for some fresh air and good company. And Seth’s company is the best I can get right now. If only I could freeze this moment forever and keep smiling like this, with him, for the days to come. If only I could avoid seeing what my eyes are seeing right now. If only one day of my life could be easy and completely happy.

Did I believe for a second that my life could be this good? Did I really believe that my past would have stayed in the past? That it wouldn’t hurt anymore?

What a fool. I never learn.

At that view, my legs stop moving and I feel my heart pounding in my chest like a hammer. My father is here, in this same shop, at this same hour, in this same aisle. And he is not alone. A boy around Seth’s age is with him, laughing at his words, choosing with him what ice cream to pick.

“Hey, Embry! Mr Call!”

And it seems that Seth knows them. Seth knows my father. Seth knows my father and apparently, he is friend with his son.

What I would give to run away in this exact moment, to go back to New York, hug my mother and cry like a baby. The idea to move here seems so stupid right now. I knew one day I had to meet him; it would have been impossible not to meet each other in this little town but I wasn’t expecting to see him so soon.

And I wasn’t expecting to see him happy with his son, either.

Jealousy. It’s all I can feel. He abandoned me, he called me a mistake, but he decided to raise the son born from an adulterous affair and marry the woman with whom he cheated on my mom. He chose to abandon me to raise another human being.

I see Seth getting near them and talk to them like it is nothing, like he does not know what happened.

Because he really doesn’t. Remember, just a few people know actually.

I keep staring at them, my mouth half opened and my eyes watery. I cannot afford to cry here, right now, not in front of him. I will never give him the satisfaction to see me hurt or in pain.

I am furious, so much that I start shaking a bit.

“Sue is making you do the grocery shop, kiddo?” Archibald Call says, patting one of Seth’s big and muscled shoulders. The latter smiles bashfully and starts scratching the back of his neck with one hand.

“Actually, I am here with Co…” He looks next to himself and does not find me.

I quickly lower my head towards the refrigerator compartment pretending to look at the food.

“Oh, there she is! Cordelia, come here!” He shouts at me.

I pretend again to be a little disoriented, looking around to search for Seth. But I know exactly where he is.

All three of them are now staring at me, waiting for me to move or say something. Smiling, I reach Seth’s side and look at my father right in his eyes. The tension among us is so thick that it could be cut with a knife. The same knife I would use to cut off that sarcastic and repellant smile from my father’s face. I have never understood why he keeps treating me like this, like I am not good enough to live on this Earth.

I get closer to Seth until our elbows touch, hoping that this little physical contact can help me not having a mental breakdown in the ice cream aisle.

“Cordelia Black”. The way he pronounces my name makes me shiver in disgust. The only revenge I have had in the past was changing my surname. Years ago, I didn’t like the idea to have the surname of a person who hated me, who verbally abused me, who asked my mother to abort before it was too late; so, I decided to change it with my mother’s one. If on my birth certificate it is said that I do not have a father, why keeping his stupid surname? I wanted to cut off every legal and emotional connection I had with him. I was born a Black and I will stay a Black until death. Instead of revenge though, I did him a favour. He was patiently waiting for that moment to finally express what he really felt about me: I wasn’t his daughter; I have never been, and I will never be. I remember every second of that conversation in court and I also remember the exact moment in which my heart broke in so many pieces that it is still impossible to assemble them again, even after so many years. Uncle Billy almost hit him in his face after what he said, and my mother was so furious that Rachel had to block her to not let her run towards Archibald and kill him.

How could someone say something like that to his daughter? To his own flesh and blood?

It took me hundreds of hours sitting in my therapist’s studio to get over it, and sometimes his cruel words still haunt my dreams and echo in my mind.

“Do you already know each other?” Seth asks visibly surprised, looking suspiciously at Archibald’s son.

“Yes, Seth. I already know who Mr Call is”, I reply tenderly smiling at him and gently putting my hand on his elbow.

“But I think you have never met my son, Embry”, Archibald provocatively says to me. Sometimes I just think he is the teenage between us and I am the responsible adult. I immediately look at Embry, who seems similar to Seth: kind of same height, same strong native traits, even though Seth has wider shoulders and he is more gangly than Embry. There is no comparison at all, though, Seth wins the match and the entire game.

“It’s nice to meet you… finally”. It’s all I have to say to him. I try to keep my smile while saying those words even though all I want now is to become invisible and run away as far as my legs can take me.

“Nice to meet you too”. He mumbles without looking at me, not even for a second.

I cannot express in words how much it hurts to finally meet someone who stole my family and my childhood. For many years I thought it was all his fault. If he hadn’t been born maybe I would have had a real father, maybe Archibald would have loved me… maybe I could have stayed in La Push and not move. But in the end, after nights spent crying and days spent under my sheets or in my therapist’s office, I understood that his absence wouldn’t have changed anything. Archibald Call did not want another child at that time, he did not want me, he specifically did not want a child with my mother even if he was married to her. I was a mistake; I knew it when I was only a child and I still know it now. How am I supposed to forget it if it’s the first thing I remember about my childhood?

I gulp, starting to get uncomfortable but never stop smiling. I will never let him win this. In the most natural and tender way, Seth protectively puts his arm around my waist, never touching me. I get slightly stiff and turn my head in his direction. What I see are deep and sweet dark brown eyes that reassuringly look at me, and what I feel is an overwhelming calming sensation: Seth is the best person I could have at my side in a situation like this.

“I think we should go back to our shopping, Coco”, he says still looking and smiling at me. I am a little surprised about that nickname. I have never allowed anyone to use a nickname with me, I love my first name too much to let someone ruin it. However, there is something in the sweet and tender tone he has used that makes me want to listen to him calling me like that over and over again. The way he has marked the first “c” and the ease with which he has used the name makes me almost like it. At these thoughts, I blush again, and I try to lower my face to hide it, but I cannot stop a little smirk to appear on my face.

Seth turns his head back to Archibald and Embry.

“Always a pleasure to meet you Mr Call”, he greets. “See you at Emily’s, Em!”

I am not the only one to notice that his tone changes when he addresses his friend. It’s not as much friendly as before, but not cold either.

“The pleasure is mine. Goodbye Seth. Goodbye Miss Black”. Archibald replies, gesturing Embry to follow him while he starts walking.

“Goodbye Mr Call”, I say before he gets too far.

Embry does not answer, he just lowers his head and follows his father.

I hear Seth sighing and taking a deep breath, his arm still around my waist.

“Thank you” I breathe, looking at him with an int of shame in my eyes. I don’t know if he has understood what just happened. He is worried, I can see it all over his face, but he is trying to cover it. Too late, Seth.

What I didn’t know moments before and what I will learn in the years to come is that Seth Clearwater has the ability to make the light shine even in the darkest place on earth. He can make you smile even in your darkest days, without asking nothing in return. And I will never thank him enough for this.

He shakes his head and one of the brightest smiles I have ever seen appears on his adorable face.

“Let’s hurry, we have plans for this afternoon”.

We start walking again through the aisles, his arm never leaving my waist, his eyes never leaving my figure. He keeps talking to me like nothing ever happened, he is trying his best to make me smile and laugh again and it is working, because in just ten minutes all those negative thoughts and emotions disappear from my mind. Seth can handle and cure my traumas much more than my therapist can.

It’s still raining when we get out of the grocery shop and go back to my grandparents’ house, full of food. Seth stops his car in my driveway and comes to open my door before going to the back and take all the bags, under the pouring rain.

I immediately get off the car and open the umbrella, hurrying to the back of the car to cover him.

“Let me help you, these are too many for one person!” I say, while he still manages to close the hood of the car despite all the paper bags.

“Nah, no worries”, he replies as we head towards the front porch. I quickly close my umbrella, leaving it outside, open the door and let him enter first.

“Kitchen is down the hallway”, I inform him, guiding him there.

He places all the bags on the dining table and only at this moment I realize that maybe I bought too many things. “I can feed the entire tribe for a month at least.”

Seth laughs, taking off his jacket and so do I. “Can I take it?” I ask. He nods and gives it to me. I go back to the entrance and hang both jackets in a little small closet, then I rapidly come back to the kitchen where I find him taking out all the groceries from the bags.

“Stop there! You have already done too much today!” I tell him, gently blocking his hands with mine. A sudden dizzy feeling makes my stomach turn, hundreds of butterflies flying around when our eyes meet. I haven’t realized that I am too close to him and our faces are an inch away from each other’s’.

I can sense a strange heat coming from his body, which does nothing but increasing the heat my body is generating for the proximity of our faces. Despite the embarrassment and the visible pinkish colour my cheeks are taking on, I can’t take my eyes off him, like the first night we met. And it seems that the same thing is happening to him.

Then he coughs and looks away, shyly. How can a guy so tall, muscled and a bit hunky be so shy and have such doe puppy eyes? I wonder.

“Mh… What about a movie while we binge-eat all this junk food?”, I ask a little embarrassed. Only now I am realizing that I practically invited him to spend time with me, alone, in my own house.

Is this an indirect date? Oh no.

Seth nods at my question.

“Out in the hallway, on the right, there is a room with a yellow armchair. I have every subscription ever on the tv, just pick whatever you like”, I continue, encouraging him.

“Sure you want me to choose?” he replies grinning. “I am really into splatter things”. He continues, talking more to himself than to me as he heads to the library room.

“WOAH”, he shouts out loud. “Never seen so many books in the same place!”

“It’s called a library. Never seen one?” I joke, replying from the kitchen while hurrying to put the groceries in the fridge and in the kitchen cabinets.

“Of course, I know what a library is, Coco!” He replies annoyed and sighs loudly, “I meant…Never seen so many books in the same room!”

“Never went to a bookstore before?” I try not to laugh, and I stick out my tongue a little bit.

I hear Seth huffing again, this time exasperated.

“Not funny, and you have a problem with all these books”, is his only reply. Then, he turns on the tv and starts zapping through the streaming platforms.

In the meantime, I am preparing our healthy meal: peanut butter ice cream with meringues and a little bit of melted chocolate for me, lemon and cream ice cream with shortbread chunks for Seth, flaming’ hot Cheetos, spicy sweet chilli Doritos and so many other things that I cannot even tell. Just looking at this stuff is making me gain 20 pounds.

When I am ready, I reach Seth in the library room and put all the stuff on the coffee table in front of the tv, which hangs on the fireplace. He looks at them in a childish enthusiastic way.

“Oh, I am in heaven!” He exclaims before grabbing his bowl. “Thank you”, he slurs, while chomping on a huge spoon of ice cream.

I laugh seeing him eating it so ferociously. “Did you choose anything?” I take my bowl too and start eating my ice cream, in a normal and human way.

He nods again, never looking away from his food.

“How much do you like Star Wars?” He asks me while taking another huge spoon of ice cream.

“Never seen it”, I reply with absolute naturalness. He almost chokes.

“I am sorry, what did you say?” he looks at me like I’m some sort of alien or something.

“That I have never seen Star Wars…?” My tone is suspicious. I can’t even finish my sentence that he throws me a look of disappointment. He then shakes his head in disapproval and points a finger at me.

“We have to fix this, right now”, he says while putting on a movie. “You are going to love it, trust me”, he continues, pressing the play button on Star Wars Episode IV – A New Hope.

I look at him while I keep eating my ice cream, a little bit surprised but delighted to see him so excited about a movie. I cannot help but smile while looking at him talking so animatedly and enthusiastic about the plot and the characters. I don’t hear a single word, though, too busy observing how bright his eyes are when he speaks about something he likes, how passionate he is about it and how he is comfortably leaning on my couch like he is used to it, like he has done this many times before.

Again, I have this strange feeling about him, to have known him since always. The butterflies in my stomach are hitting hard now, and I let myself be overwhelmed by that dizziness, enchanted by the sight of that gangly boy talking so fervently about a stupid movie while eating ice cream.

[otomtalk]

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