#minor geralt/eskel

[thedemonofcat]

To put it nicely, It’s widely known that the Pankratz family are very open about who they love. To put it bluntly, they're a family of slut’s

Soon, it’s discovered that every member of Kear Morhen has, at one point been in a relationship with a Pankratz.

Vessimir was in one with Jaskier's Grandmother, apparently even when Jaskier’s father was born. They're looking into that.

Eskel had a minor fling with Jaskier's sister one summer.

Lamber and Aiden were in a threesome with one of Jaskier's uncles

Coen at a one-night stand with Jaskier's brother

Not even Yennefer, who had a brief encounter with Jaskier's cousin.

Currently, Ciri has not been at any meeting with the Pankratz family. Which is probably a good thing since her Jaskier happens to be a distant cousins.

And there, Geralt and Jaskier

[inexplicifics]

@pherryt very kindly tagged me in a meme!

So, wanted to get some hiatus rec lists going and encourage some self promo in my friends so how about sharing your top fics no matter how big or small - give us the links to your wonderful words with the Most hits/Most kudos/Most comments/Most bookmarks /Most words/Least words

Most hits: With a Conquering Air, the first of my Accidental Warlord AU; of the non-Warlord fics, it’s Must Brave the Thorns, my M’Laiden romance novel AU-of-an-AU.

Most kudos: With a Conquering Air again, followed by many of the other Accidental Warlord fics; of the non-Warlord fics, it’s Stop One Heart From Breaking, a Jaskier/Geralt/Eskel/Lambert A/B/O AU.

Most comments: Must Brave the Thorns again, followed by With Tenderness and Nobleness, the most recent Accidental Warlord fic and then several other of that series; of the non-Warlord fics, it’s The Minor Fall, the Major Lift, a canon-divergence AU in which Jaskier finds Aiden after the Mountain and they go to Kaer Morhen together.

Most bookmarks: With a Conquering Air again, followed by Must Brave the Thorns and Stop One Heart From Breaking; the first one that hasn’t been mentioned thus far is Homo Homini Lupus Est (Man Is Wolf To Man), in which Geralt has a wolf’s mind, and only Jaskier can save him.

Most words: Must Brave the Thorns is longest, followed by With Tenderness and Nobleness; the first fic that hasn’t been mentioned already is Out of the Night That Covers Me, a Lambert/Aiden modern AU.

Least words: The shortest work on my AO3 page is Sunlit Lover, a poem from Jaskier to Eskel; the shortest actual fic is Winter’s Peace, a 550-word exploration of a possible way Geralt and Eskel’s relationship could look.

Let me see...tagging @heronfem, @ruffboijuliaburnsides, @heathenalchemist, and anyone else who would like to play!

[on-a-lucky-tide]

I love the cuteagens! Maybe cuteagens staring Eskel and Letho?

The fire crackled between them, the discarded skin of the trout they had consumed half an hour before curling in the flames, and Letho tasted the air. He wasn't sure what possessed him in the moment. Around others, he masked his impulses carefully, because they provided too much of an insight into his relative strengths and potential weaknesses. But with Eskel sitting opposite, illuminated in the flickering amber of the firelight, his body a little dirty, a little travelled, with pheromones and sweat lingering in the linen of his open-necked shirt, Letho found it difficult to control himself.

His tongue lacked tastebuds or scent receptors, but it did collect chemicals from the air for him to press against the roof of his mouth, and it was here that his brain could process the taste of the world around him. Earthy salt from the remains of the fish and the damp soil, the rich tang of mineral oils Eskel was using to coat his steel blade after their successful arachas hunt, and a unique, spicy perfume that was uniquely Eskel. He tasted different to Geralt; Geralt was horse hair, arenaria and bitter on the tongue; Eskel was treated leather, deep, musky, something to be savoured. It was that aroma that had drawn Letho's eye in the tavern where they'd met that morning, and now it made his serpentine eyes flicker closed for a fraction of a second, so he could--

"Everythin' a'right?" asked Eskel in his usual, laidback drawl.

Letho opened his eyes slowly. "Nothin' amiss."

"Just... you licked the air."

"Salt on my lips."

"N'aww," Eskel said, his scarred lips quirking up at the corner. Couldn't get much past this sharp-eyed blood hound. "You licked the air. Seen you do it a few times before, now I come to think of it. Thought I was just seeing things."

Hmm. Letho had not been as discreet as he'd first thought. He considered his options. A continued lie wouldn't earn much more than a dismissive snort from the wolf, further confirming Eskel's belief that Letho hid more than he shared, which meant he was untrustworthy, or he could share this one little tidbit. A tiny sliver of trust in a witcher that had walked the Path as long as he had. Eskel had his own code based on honour, neutrality and avoidance of conflict. The threat was relatively minor and, Letho reasoned, if Eskel knew, then he could taste Eskel more often. Even if only on the air around him.

"I smell things that way."

"Huh." Eskel appeared to consider the information. It would go one of two ways. He would either judge it not sufficiently interesting and continue tending to the sword across his lap or, more likely, he would want to investigate. That was one thing Eskel and Geralt had in common, by Letho's evaluation. Curiosity. But whereas Geralt's extended to politics and people, Eskel's was purely based in the natural world. Couldn't show him an odd looking mushroom without him snaffling it off for a little analysis. If pressed, Letho would admit it to be somewhat endearing. "How's that work then?"

Those deep amber eyes, so much richer in colour than Letho's own, widened a little, trained on Letho's mouth. Letho let his tongue poke out again, topping up the taste of Eskel against the roof of his mouth. "There's a vomeronasal organ in the roof of my mouth. Works through chemoreception, which is--"

"I know what chemoreception is," Eskel huffed, putting his sword aside to roll onto his knees. "Same way basilisks and slyzards smell. Never considered you'd've been given mutagens from those sources. Makes sense though, biggest vipers outside the ones in the grass, although I always figured you'd have had more wyvern, an'--" Eskel was shuffling over but hesitated when Letho raised an eyebrow. Eskel's propriety caught up with him, and he sat back on his heels with a quiet rumble, a chastened hound whose nose had wandered too close to the dinner plate, "can I look?"

Eskel looking meant he got closer, and now that Letho had conceded a little, he wanted to concede more, just to see where it led. It was a slippery slope, and he could hear Ivar's lecture about the duplicitous nature of other schools droning in the back of his head. They were a distraction from the mission, blind to the real purpose of the order. Letho packaged him away in the recesses of his memory and focused on the broadness of Eskel's face.

Hillfolk, Letho recalled. The witch had said as much during one of her many pontifications. As much of a pain in his arse as she had been, Yennefer had provided lots of intelligence on the nature of the wolf school. Letho traced Eskel's wide brow and nose with his eyes; his fingers itched to follow their path, but he kept them resolutely on his thighs as his mouth dropped open for Eskel's inspection.

"Minor warping of the palate, but not much," Eskel murmured, leaning in closer. Letho couldn't hide his body's reaction. His skin crackled like it had been touched by lightning, and the smell of Eskel's made his head light. His palm left his thigh and cupped beneath Eskel's chin to pull him away, but only far enough to meet his eyes. The deepest gold Letho had ever seen, richer than Toussaintese honey. Eskel grimaced, "Got somethin' to say?" Eskel's fingers tightened around Letho's wrist in mild warning.

It was then that Letho realised what he'd done. Lifted a wolf's head to expose his throat. But Eskel hadn't bitten back, hadn't shoved him away; his pupils were blown wide, two black suns highlighted in liquid amber. Letho tilted his own head, tongue darting briefly between his lips. Arousal. And not just his own. Eskel had intended this to happen. "You're playing a dangerous game," Letho said.

"Only play games when the odds are in my favour," Eskel replied, keeping his gaze steady. Letho tested, slipping his hand a little lower to the hinge of Eskel's jaw. He saw the flicker of appreciation even if Eskel tried to keep his gaze level. Eskel pushed against Letho's palm. "Your move."

Letho considered his options, measured the disadvantages of revealing this little crack in his facade, and pulled Eskel towards him. Letho made the wolf arch, stretching him off balance to keep the game in his favour, and brought their lips together. Eskel tasted just as Letho expected; like the divine come to earth. The scent of him washed through Letho's body like a tide, consuming his every sense, leaving quivering eagerness in its wake.

When the wolf let out a little whine, a trill of pleasure followed by a slump on his posture, Letho crowded him to the ground. He slipped a hand into that awful fucking haircut to force Eskel's head back, and licked a long stripe up his exposed throat. Eskel arched against him, strong hands gripping hard at Letho's shoulders. "If I'd known you were so eager to show me your belly, dog," Letho growled. "I'd'a offered sooner."

"Shut up and fuck me," Eskel snarled, or tried, his voice broke around the moan Letho forced from him with a sucking bite at the hinge of his jaw.

Letho smirked, teeth somehow sharper in the dying firelight. "Gladly."

[flowercrown-bard]

if you're still taking witcher prompts how about a theme of sentimentality and/or nostalgia? <3

ohhh i love that prompt! It brought back my love for old!Jaskier

word count: 1344

"I know I have it somewhere," Geralt said, as he got up from the bench behind their cottage, where soon they would plant a garden.He pressed a gentle kiss on the silver crown of Jaskier's head. "Might take me a while to find it, though. I think it should be with the other books. Maybe with my old bestiaries."

"I would say I'd wait for you until I'm old and grey, but… you know." Jaskier grinned up at him and a wamrth that had long since grown familiar, spread through Geralt's chest. Jaskier's smile was still the same, though the lines around his mouth had gotten deeper with the years.

"You're ridiculous," Geralt said fondly. 

"And you love me." 

"Yeah. I really do."

"Oh stop it." Jaskier swatted at him playfully and his eyes were soft and warm. "I can see right through you. You just want to flatter me so I'll agree to let you fill more than your half of the garden with herbs."

Geralt raised his hands in surrender. 

"You caught me," he lied. 

"What do I get as a reward?" Jaskier made to tilt his head back a little more, but halted the movement with a grimace, when it strained his neck too much. Worry shot through Geralt, but he remained quiet. he had learned through trial and error that Jaskier didn't appreciate it when Geralt fussed over "every minor inconvenience" he experienced. More than once, they had laughed over the irony of how their roles had gotten reversed over the decades. 

Instead of answering, Geralt leaned down and gave Jaskier a kiss. 

"I'll be right back," he said again. He hurried to get inside their home, lest he let Jaskier distract him even more. 

The cottage wasn't big, just a kitchen, a cozy living space, a small bathroom and their bedroom. It was more than Geralt had ever thought, he'd get to have and it was all they needed. One would think that it couldn't be too hard finding an old book about herbs in this modest space, but that didn't account for all the knickknacks they had collected over the years. The bookshelves were stuffed with old notebooks and Jaskier's publications. Little trinkets stood on the mantlepiece. Sea shells, woodcarvings, and all sorts of small reminders of their years of travelling together. 

Geralt let his eyes roam over all of it, until finally, they landed on one of the wooden boxes Eskel had brought him a couple of months ago and that he still hadn't gotten around to sort through. Life at the coast, though nothing compared to the stressful life they had lead before, wasn't quite as calm as Geralt had feared. There was always something to do and so the box had started to collect dust. 

Geralt knelt down beside it and brushed the dust away, before opening the lid. Yellowed letters, empty bottles and rusty knives greeted him. He carefully took them out of the box and set them aside. Useless trinkets they may be, but they had decorated his room at Kaer Morgen for decades. Though he would never admit to it openly, he was a sentimental man and the thought of throwing away his first knife or the letters his brothers had sent him on the path didn't sit right with him. Geralt put the last of the letters aside and paused. 

There, grinning up at him, was Jaskier. 

Or rather, a painting of him. Geralt's heart jumped and as careful as if he were handling glass, Geralt lifted the framed painting out of the box. With his fingers, he traced Jaskier's smile, the crinkle of his eyes. In the painting, he was younger, much younger than now and he had his arm flung across Geralt's shoulder. 

"Geralt?“ The door creaked, as Jaskier entered, his steps accompanied by the rhythmic clonk clonk of his cane. "I know I said I'd wait, but you've been gone for a while and I - oh." Jaskier broke off, coming to stand right beside Geralt. He placed one hand on Geralt's shoulder tonsteady himself and gave it a light squeeze. "I didn't know you still had that." 

"Me neither." Geralt glanced up from the painting. "I think we put it away so the sun wouldn't damage it."

"It still aged."

"Yeah. It did." Geralt let go of the painting with one hand to put it over Jaskier's hand on his shoulder, intertwining their fingers. "Do you remember when we commissioned it?" 

"Ah…not exactly." Jaskier fiddled with his cane and let out a little laugh. "I remember being really drunk though."

"You were." Geralt grinned. "The artist kept complaining that you couldn't sit still for a minute."

"Oh?" Jaskier gave him a unimpressed look, but his eyes were dancing with mirth. "Actually, come to think of it, I do remember one thing. The artist was also annoyed with you because first you insist on looking all stoic, but then you keep looking at me like-" he gestured to the painting, and the unmistakably fond look in that younger Geralt's eyes, "- like that."

"Hmm. Couldn't help it, even back then." 

For a while they both kept looking at the painting, each one getting lost in their own memories. Then, eventually, it burst out of Jaskier: "It looks garish." 

Geralt choked on a laugh. "What?" 

"That brooch!" Jaskier pointed an accusatory finger at a huge floral brooch hos younger self was wearing. "And that shade of green! Really, why didn't you tell me it looked bad?" 

"I'm pretty sure I did," Geralt snorted. "You said i just didn't understand high fashion."

"Oh. Well yes. Sounds about right." 

"It didn't look that bad," Geralt offered and it was only half of a lie. If you ignored the terrible outfit Jaskier wore, he did look as handsome as ever, even though he had dark bags under his eyes. He had waited through half the night for Geralt to return from his contract and when he finally had come back, Jaskier had insisted on keeping him company while he came down from his potions. 

Geralt himself didn't look much better. The scratched and bruises on his face (-not all of them courtesy of the contract. At lest two of the bruises camr from Geralt walking into a doorframe because he had been unable to take his eyes off Jaskier -) weren't the worst of it. No, that questionable honour fell on the beard covering the lower half of Geralt's face. He had lost a bet with Lambert, so he had to shave it into a terrible style. The only good thing about it had been that Jaskier had liked to scratch it like a cat's chin. Hmm, maybe Geralt should grow out hos beard again. 

Jaskier's overly dramatic gasp shook Geralt out of his reminiscing. 

"'Not that bad' isn't great considering it's memorialised for all eternity in that painting." Towards the end of the sentence, Jaskier stopped being able controlling his composure and burst into giggles. 

"We both look terrible," Geralt agreed. He turned his head to place a kiss on Jaskier's hand. 

"We do. And I love it." Jaskier looked down at him softly. "Should we maybe commission another painting? So we have something to laugh at in another thirty year's time?" 

A pang went through Geralt's chest and his breath caught in his throat. Thirty years. 

He ran his thumb over the leathery skin on the back of Jaskier's hand, crinkled and speckled with age spots. 

"Yeah," he said, his voice thicker than before. "I'd love to have another painting."

He doubted, he would look at it and laugh, but he could hope, that he would be able to look back at the reminder of his time with Jaskier and remember the way his beloved's laugh sounded. And maybe that memory was more precious than anything else Geralt could ask for. 

One by one, he put his trinkets back into the box and closed the lid again. Only the painting was kept outside of it, aged and ugly and so so beautiful.

[goldenfoxxxe]

INFO

I'm 20

He/Him/Fire pronouns

I'm poc

minors and ageless blogs DNI

I'll write mostly anything unless it involves kids lmfao

i write x male, female, and gn so feel free to request for any!!

here's who I write for (and also my masterlist):

The Witcher:

Eskel

Geralt

Jaskier

Call of Duty:

Simon Riley

John MacTavish

John Price

Kyle Garrick

One Piece:

Roronoa Zoro

Monkey D. Luffy

Sanji Vinsmoke

Usopp

Dracule Mihawk

Red-haired Shanks

Overwatch:

Reinhardt

Hanzo

Cassidy

Baptiste

Lifeweaver

Mauga

DC:

Dick Grayson

Jason Todd

Mortal Kombat:

Johnny Cage

Syzoth

Invincible:

Mark Grayson

[loki-is-my-kink-awakening]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers! Spread the self-love 💞

Picking my firsts since my brain is unable to decide which fics are my fave. Thanks for the ask.

1. Petals In A Storm

First completed multi-chapter.

Jaskier/Sam the Baker/Eskel, E, 52k (angst, smut, kidnapping, injury, canon torture, getting together, established relationship)

Since the mountain, Jaskier has been grieving Geralt and funnelling all his emotions into sleeping around, unable to believe the love he has within his grasp with Sam the Baker. It takes being plucked out of his life and meeting another witcher, Eskel, to realise that maybe his views on love have been misguided.

A love quadrangle between Jaskier, Geralt, Sam, and Eskel, with a Saskier and Jaskel end game.

2. Fighting To Get To You

First fic with an action sequence.

Geralt/Jaskier/Yennefer, T, 1.9k (kidnapping, rescue)

Geralt and Yennefer fight tooth and nail to rescue Jaskier, held against his will in a castle on top of a perilous peak.

3. Inevitable

First published drabble.

Steve/Eddie, M, 100 words (kissing, getting together, minor frottage)

Steve kisses Eddie for the first time

4. Afterwards

First fic with they/them pronouns for a character.

Loki/Mobius, T, <1k (emotional hurt/comfort)

Loki spirals after getting together with Mobius, their mind screaming hateful things at them. They run, because they always do, but Mobius finds them.

5. One Special Night

First fic with a trans character.

Elihal/Jaskier, E, 1.5k (smut, soft and sweet)

Dandelion knew the earrings would look perfect on Elihal.

Tagging @insert-witty-user-name-here as requested

[stromuprisahat]

Slightly incoherent The Witcher S02 rant

(Finished and posted two years later with no Starbucks involved...)

They’re trying so hard to be The Next Game of Thrones, they’re erasing everything that makes The Witcher special. Things are changed unnecessarily, *new* *original* storylines added- much simpler and inferior to source material.

There’s a lack of ~variety~ of dangers. Different kinds, different degrees... It’s all life-threatening, fatal. The writers forgot some things can be dangerous only thanks to specific circumstances. Leshy in the woods can be just that- monster living in witchers’ keep’s backyard, not some weird parasite trying to murder or transform all the witchers.

Another trend I've noticed is "No rest for the heroes.". Characters aren't allowed to have a place and/or time to develop without preasure. The most peaceful part of Ciri's story got turned into parade of incompetent, inconsiderate idiots. It’s the same issue I had with first season of Shadow and Bone, where MC's studies and integration into new enviroment got struck out. Both were lacking "action". Both got cut short and re-written to be more "eventful". In both cases the story AND characters suffered. Characters aren’t developed, they become changed. Netflix seems to have a pattern, and- considering second season of S&B- doesn’t learn from its previous terrible results.

Another huge issue is pacing. The whole season feels like it happened in a week, when Blood of Elves took more than a season of the year.

“I know someone...” As it turned out, we all do.

When we’re at things I hate, there’s the trend of connecting EVERYTHING. You have a minor part to fill? Give it to one of already existing characters to make their path more eventful and memorable. What happened to random soldier, corpse no. 54 or anonymous inkeeper in shithole MC’s just passing through? You don't constantly cross ways with the same three people! Make the world real by houndreds of faces you'll never see again! It’s like the creators didn’t notice this is a TV show, not a video game, where you have to animate every different feature, so more NPC with the same faces are to be expected.

I also dislike the trend of giving some storylines to one-off side characters or making new things up just to make them important enough to keep them around (Istredd, Dara, Stregobor). Why can't you accept some people appear, fuck up your life and you never see them again? Are they pushed to keep some actors around?

The books are mostly following Geralt’s and Ciri’s story, but not exclusively. Show offers a chance to add more background politics, wider picture. Instead they bait us with well-known, already beloved characters that get reduced to something they’re not. I’ve made a separate post about Francesca Findababair, but they didn’t treat Philippa any better. Instead of a badass, crucial for the plot, the intelligence behind Redanian Intelligence, she’s just an owl. Dijkstra’s messanger to keep in touch with some sad little elf kid.

Voleth Mier disaster

There isn’t more genric evil creature in fantasy than “demon”. Then they call it “Mother of Evil”? She’s feeding on fear? I’m starting to suspect someone in the writing room has some serious mommy issues. ... and no imagination.

Apparently Blood of Elves without a final boss fight is too boring to adapt faithfully. There’s no time to increase the stakes gradually. Every season needs to end with a BANG!

Shared dreams? Why is there the need to connect everything even more to make it MORE important and SPECIAL and INTERESTING?

Vesemir and the rest of Kaer Morons

Why the fuck is Coën Wolf, not Griffin? Remember how I talked about unnecessary changes? Why bother keeping names, when everything else is different?

Eskel didn’t deserve this shit. The writers are counting on our pre-existing knowledge of his relationship with Geralt, so his death has at least some impact. Zero effort on their part, merely one (1) flashback. The Wolf funeral is plain stupid, while supposed to look "cool". a.) There isn't many witchers, they tend to die on the Path. b.) I'm sure the mutations just make the witchers tastier. No side effects. c.) Eskel was a fucking tree. Did the wolves just use him as a fancy chewing toy?

Lambs is a dick, but a dick, who loves his family. Not a bully picking on young traumatized girls.

Vesemir’s probably the second worst, considering the whole mischaracterization mess. They’ve changed friendly grandpa into "Let us use Ciri to make more witchers". Not OOC at all.

The writers also kinda missed the whole point of only four witchers living in the gigantic keep, but never mind that...

Why do they bother looking for new stories, when they just grind it into homogenic crap corresponding with The Pattern™?

Since when are witchers training in temples? (So much for neutrality...) And where's the chubby Slavic panímáma? Melitele's tample was about healing and herbs, not magic, that's Yennefer's storyline. Yes, it matters. It completely changes the perspective.

Since there’s no emotional build-up for anything, creators went for low-haging fruit. But Roach had to die for more reasons. Aside from the obvious (Horses aren’t immortal and we can’t kill the bard.), it’s the perfect way to get Geralt on gorgeous black Friesian. Y'no, because other horses are never so cool. And the Hero™ can't ride just some chestnut these days... Don't get me wrong, I love Friesians since I was a child, but this trend is beyond annoying.

Why change 14th of the hill? That’s Triss’ storyline and passing it on Yennefer served absolutely nothing.

Then we have Rience, who is for some reason super powerful- not only he doesn't have a problem drawing from fire, he can teleport to witcher's keep? Place full of magic, the very same one that's hard to find and he's never been to? Compare with game!plot, where Lambert’s dimetrium bombs messed with Yennefer’s magic enough for her not to be able to call someone.

There should be a list of banned words, or words and phrases that are often overused: power, protect, save, curse(d), fault, ~ needs you. ~I~ need you., Together. *meaningful pause*, You can fight this., glowy eyes = evil, suicidal self-sacrifice, not perfect but real, family, I beliiiiieve in you., force, darkness...

Sorry, but using a quote from one of the strongest moments of Blood of Elves in completely different situation will NOT give you extra points. Quite contrary. This is how you ruin one of he best parts of the books- by holding a sword to your SO's (who's been through some serious shit) neck.

Honorable mention of Emhyr var AnotherDumbVillain, for publicly proclaiming Ciri’s his daughter ...now the whole Nilfgaard knows what he wants. Stupid and the easiest way to let his enemies’ spies know just HOW much is she valuable.

Things I liked about this season: Tris and Ciri's meeting, Vereena, Yenneskíer chemistry

If there’s one thing second season of The Witcher taught me, it’s “Keep your expectations low, you’re gonna be let down anyway.”.

[beth--b]

Fall

“One last contract Jask, we need the coin,” Jaskier muttered to himself as he walked beside Roach. Jaskier looks at Geralt’s unconscious form slung over the mare’s saddle and shakes his head. “For fucks sake what am I meant to do with you now? At least you have some sense about you Roach, I know you will get us to the keep but really it would be much easier if Geralt was conscious.”

It was late Fall and time to head to the keep for the long cold winter ahead. Geralt getting hurt and being out of commission for the trek up the mountain was not part of the plan.

He continues to chatter at the mare and berate the Witcher as he makes his way up the trail. It was going to be a long trip to Kaer Morhen with Geralt unable to lead them. He had made the trip a few times now, and Roach knew the way but it was not an easy journey under the best of circumstances and these were certainly not those.

If he kept talking though he could pretend that everything was alright, that Geralt was just being his usual silent broody self and he was riding Roach. Not that he was out cold and would be for who knows how long. He had taken a contract at the last town near the base of the blue mountains, it was unusual for any monster activity there with the number of Witcher’s that passed through, but a manticore had been spotted nearby and the people wanted it dealt with before Winter set in and no more Witcher’s would be there to deal with it until the Spring.

Geralt had been able to kill the beast but he had taken too many hits himself, along with a dose of venom in doing so. He was low on potions so Jaskier couldn’t just give him Swallow or Kiss to help speed up the healing process and he had nothing to counteract the venom. 

read it on ao3 here

Jaskier had seen this happen before, or at least something similar. Geralt’s body had basically shut down to aid in healing and to let him work the venom out of system, without proper treatment or potions it could take some days for him to regain consciousness. In the meantime Jaskier would need to try to get them to Kaer Morhen. Vesemir would be able to help Geralt once they were there. He only hoped that they made it before the snow set in.

After several hours of trekking up the path Jaskier gave up talking to himself in favour of focusing on his surroundings. He knew that there were many things in these mountains that could kill a man, the path was dangerous on its own the further one travelled, without worrying about wolves or wargs or forktails.

If he was lucky he might come across Lambert or Eskel on the journey but he wasn’t holding his breath.

When it began to get dark Jaskier finally spotted the small cave the Witcher’s used as a place to stop the first night on the trail to the keep. Jaskier sighed in relief and led Roach over the cave. The bard removed the saddle bags and set up their bedrolls before heaving Geralt over his shoulder and laying him out on his bedroll. He got a small fire going near the mouth of the cave and then checked Geralt’s wounds. Satisfied that the deep gouges in his chest were not infected and the stitches were holding well he moved to the head wound that Jaskier had at first thought had killed his Witcher from the sheer amount of blood.

Again, the stitches along Geralt’s hairline looked good. He then checked the more minor wounds and once done, he set about removing Roach’s tack and scrounging up some food for himself. 

With nothing left to do but sleep he lay beside Geralt and carefully lay his head on the Witcher’s shoulder. He fell asleep listening to the slow but steady breathing of his love.

Jaskier woke at dawn and after checking Geralt’s wounds once more and changing his bandages he saddled Roach and tried to wake Geralt enough to help get him back on the mare. He wasn’t confident it would work but finally he got enough of a response from Geralt that with Roach kneeling he was able to get him into the saddle again. 

After breaking camp and packing away the last of their belongings they set out again for another long day.

If Jaskier could keep up the same pace he would be able to reach the next stop over point by nightfall and then tomorrow they would reach the Keep and Vesemir.

“You can do this Jaskier. He would be able to get you there no problem.”

Getting himself some dried fruit and nuts from the saddle bags he set off again, Roach following behind him.

The day passed in much the same way as the last. Jaskier spent some of his time chatting to Roach, he checked Geralt a few times, tucking his cloak in around him, and finally lapsed into silence. Geralt was slightly warmer than he should be, though Jaskier was confident it was just his body fighting off the venom and nothing to be too concerned about. It was getting colder as the day wore on and the cloud cover was getting heavier. It wasn’t unheard of for an early snowfall this far North, it may only be Fall but Jaskier was growing increasingly concerned at the prospect of snow.

His fears came true as it began to lightly snow as dusk approached. They hadn’t made it as far as he had hoped and they would be travelling to the stop over point in the dark at this rate, the path ahead made more treacherous as the snow covered the ground.

“Fuck,” he growled to himself. Feeling exhaustion deep within his bones he nevertheless began moving faster, Roach keeping pace beside him. Jaskier reached out and kept one hand on her bridle as the sky darkened, hoping between them they would be able to keep steady and not slip. He only hoped he would be able to find the cave as night fell.

As they approached where Jaskier was sure the cave should be he slowed down keeping an eye out for the opening to the Witcher’s cave. He knew there were others along the way but he wasn’t sure what they may harbour in their depths so he didn’t trust using them. Most creatures tend to steer clear of the cave’s along here that smelt of witchers, not to mention that there was always firewood and a spare blanket or two and as the temperature dropped Jaskier was sure they would need all the warmth they could get. 

It was now full dark and Jaskier had lost count of how many times he had stumbled, only his grip on Roach keeping him from falling. His fur lined cloak was no longer enough to keep him warm and he was almost at breaking point. Finally he spotted the marker for the cave. Nothing obvious if you didn’t know what to look for, but Jaskier knew and he almost cried in relief at the sight.

Although small, the cave was tall enough that Roach could come inside as well and Jaskier led her in, repeating the same tasks as the night before, though the long day and cold temperatures had slowed him down making everything far more difficult that the previous evening.

Once Geralt was off Roach and covered under furs in his bedroll Jaskier build a small fire near the mouth of the cave, though with his fingers clumsy with cold it took far longer than it should have.

Once he had finished his tasks he sat in front of the fire, trying to get some warmth back into his fingers. Once the feeling had returned he dragged his own bedroll beside Geralts and covered them both in all their furs as well as the couple of musty blankets stowed in the back of the cave. 

Despite his exhaustion, sleep did not come easily and Jaskier lay awake long into the night worried about how they would make it to the Keep the next day if the snow continued through the night.

When dawn came Jaskier had already risen and broken camp. The sooner they left, the sooner they would reach Kaer Morhen.

Geralt had roused enough to drink some water and eat a little jerky before he had passed out again. Jaskier reassured himself again and again that he was alright, his body just needed rest to heal. He had lost huge amounts of blood along with the fucking manticore venom, and if he was human he’d have bled out long before Jaskier could stitch his wounds. 

Jaskier always liked to correct his lover when he said he wasn’t human, though in these circumstances Jaskier could not be more grateful for that fact.

As they made their way out of the cave Jaskier was dismayed to see the snow had continued through the night, the way before him covered in an ankle deep layer of snow. 

He pulled a blanket free from their saddlebags and wrapped it around Geralt as best he could, before pulling his own cloak around himself with a shiver. 

“Come on girl, soon you’ll be in a nice warm stable, we just need to get home. We can do this. We have to do this,” he began to make his way through the snow leading Roach along the path.

By mid morning the snow was falling in thick flurries around them and Jaskier could hardly see the path before his eyes. He was seriously worried that he may not be able to make it, and wouldn’t that be terrible to have made it so close only to fail in the last stretch. 

Shivering, he leaned into Roach’s side for a moment trying to work out what to do. He was beginning to lose feeling in his fingers and toes and he knew that hypothermia would soon become a real concern. He had never been so grateful to be shivering as he knew that meant things were not yet so dire that he couldn’t push on. He briefly checked Geralt and found that the Witcher was cool but not too cold to be worried about. At least that was one thing to be thankful for.

Finally pulling away from the mare he set forth once more. He kept his head down and just focused on putting one foot in front of the other. After what felt like years but was in reality several hours, Jaskier became aware of the fact that he was no longer as cold. A part of him knew that there was something deeply wrong here as the snow was still falling and he was now walking in snow up to his knees. He couldn’t feel his toes, could hardly feel his legs for that matter.

He was so tired.

Maybe he should stop.

Roach nickered, nudging his cheek with her nose. Jaskier looked at the mare and remembered why he couldn’t stop. He needed to get Geralt home.

One foot in front of the other. 

He kept going until he reached a wall. He wasn’t sure why there was a wall in the path, why would someone put a wall there?

But then the wall was moving and there was someone speaking with him.

“Eskel?” he asked, voice cracking.

“Jaskier come on, we need to get you inside. What the fuck happened?”

“Geralt, he needs help. Manticore venom, no potions,” Jaskier ground out, he felt like he was going to fall but he needed to tell Eskel, Geralt needed help.

There was muffled shouting nearby and then a flurry of motion as someone lifted Geralt down from Roach’s back and someone else led Roach to the stable. Jaskier was dimly aware of Eskel wrapping his own cloak around him and leading him towards the keep but before he could make it inside Jaskier lost the battle with keeping himself on his feet, numb legs giving out beneath him.

Eskel managed to catch Jaskier around the waist and lifted him into his arms, the bard turning his head into his warmth and going limp in his arms.

***

When Jaskier is next aware of his surroundings he is warm, almost painfully so and his toes and fingers burn causing him to moan.

“Jaskier?” Eskel asks, leaning over the bard.

“Eskel? What happened? Is Geralt alright?”

Eskel helps him to sit up and wraps a blanket around his shoulders. Jaskier looks around the room relieved to see the familiar walls of the room he and Geralt share in the keep.

“Hey Jaskier, Geralt’s fine, or he will be soon. Vesemir had checked him over and given him an antivenom and a dose of Swallow. How are you feeling?”

Jaskier took a moment to feel relieved that Geralt would be ok before thinking about answering Eskel.

“Ah tired I guess and rather sore. But I’m alright, at least I think so.”

Eskel nodded as though that was the answer he expected.

“You’ll feel some pain as you warm up, much longer out there and you would have been lucky if you hadn’t lost your fingers and toes, or your life for that matter. You’ve been out for a few hours. Next year maybe try for a slightly less dramatic entrance, hmm?”

Jaskier smiled and nodded. “Of course dear Eskel. When Geralt’s feeling better I’ll be sure to tell him no contracts at the bottom of the fucking mountain again shall I?”

“You and me both,” Eskel agreed. “Now you should get some more rest but before you do, are you hungry?”

“A little, something warm would be wonderful.”

“Alright I’ll be back shortly.” Eskel stood up from the chair beside Jaskier’s bed and headed out the door to get some food.

Jaskier lay back down while he waited, he wanted nothing more than to go to Geralt but he knew he’d never make it in this state. He would eat, sleep some more and then go to his Witcher.

Jaskier wasn’t aware he had dozed off until Eskel woke him with a gentle shake of his shoulder.

“Oh sorry Eskel, didn’t mean to fall asleep,” he said, yawning into his hand.

“It’s fine Jaskier. Here eat up while it’s warm.” Eskel passed over a bowl of warm stew and sat down beside the bed again, staying nearby until Jaskier finished before taking the bowl and standing again.

“Call out if you need anything.”

“Thank you,” Jaskier replied, already half asleep once more.

***

The next time Jaskier woke he was hot. 

While it was preferable to being cold he couldn’t quite understand why he was so warm.

When he finally blinked his eyes open he saw the source of the heat and decided he didn’t mind being a little over warm after all.

Geralt had obviously woken while Jaskier slept and joined him in their bed. With the fire banked high and the extra blankets plus a Witcher in the bed it was no wonder Jaskier was so warm. 

He managed to push some of the blankets away, still feeling warm but no longer uncomfortably so, he settled back on the pillow beside Geralt. He softly stroked a finger along Geralt’s jaw, the stubble making his sensitive fingers almost sting, not that it would stop him from touching though. After a few moments had passed he went to pull away only to have Geralt’s hand reach up and capture his, pressing Jaskier’s palm against Geralt’s cheek.

“Hm stay,” Geralt rasped, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. 

“Not going anywhere love,” Jaskier whispered, turning his head and pressing it up against Geralt’s neck. “We made it and I’m not going anywhere.”

Geralt finally released Jaskier’s hand only to turn onto his side and wrap the bard in his arms. 

They were both safe and warm and had the whole Winter to spend together.

Jaskier was on the verge of falling asleep again before he forced himself to speak once more. 

“Before I forget Geralt, no more fucking contracts at the bottom of the path. I’m not sure Roach and I will be there to rescue again if we have a repeat of this year.”

Geralt just snorted and shook his head. “Deal. Next time we’ll send Lambert back down the mountain.”

Jaskier laughed and pushed himself up enough to lean in and kiss his Witcher before replying. “Good, though I won’t be the one to tell him that. I like my body parts exactly where they are.”

Geralt just hummed and pulled Jaskier back against his chest, breaths evening out as he fell asleep again.

Jaskier fought the pull of sleep a little longer just to revel in the feel of Geralt against him. Despite what he had said he hoped he would always be there if Geralt needed him. Just as Geralt was there for him.

[fabulousprancingtrashstallion]

while you pretty much already answered this when you said you were disappointed they completely cut shani from the show ( I agree she is one of my favorite of the more minor characters and one of the few female characters from the witcher that is not either royaly or a sorsercess) but who do you think is the most important book character that the show completely cut out?, they included some of the more unimportant mage characters in the ball and coup episodes and they are including characters like Nimue, Stribog and Assire next season, and they aren't done announcing the casting for season 4 yet so we will see if they include Angoulême earlier so she can have a big more time to be fleshed out than she does in the books

They already have Milva and Regis so I expect we'll see Angoulême. She has a great backstory, and I would love to see it in depths. (Even though Stygga Castle is really going to hurt) Just hoping they don't cut out Anna Henrietta or The Aen Elle. I think the reason they cut Shani as well as Geralt's dragon threesome/foursome? and Triss' romance out because they wanted to make his relationship with Yen more romantic. Which I get. Even though I loved Shani. (my forever girl) As for the cut out... Honestly if I had to pick, I would say Eskel. I know he was not cut out per say, but they killed him off and I thought that was a really bad choice. It didn't add anything to the show or to Geralt. It just pissed us off. I'm also curious what is going to happen since they killed Rience off early. Who is going to partner up with Leo Bonhart and Stefan Skellen? I will take a lot of flak for saying this, but despite all this I really enjoyed the show personally. I look at the show like a fun fanfiction instead of taking it as heresy. (I have been told 'drink piss wh0re' by 'fanboys' because I enjoyed the show. I get being passionate about a show, but trying to hurt real people over fiction... sad. Very sad) I feel bad for the actors that are just doing their jobs taking all that abuse.

[lucigoo]

Fear is a Sickness:Witchers are the cure

#260 - Fear is a sickness, @flashfictionfridayofficial

Pairing -Geralt/Jaskier

Warnings - Minor off screen CD, Mourining/grief, non discriptive funeral pyre

Words - 965

Summary - Cirliia is safe, Voleth Meir is gone and yet the sirving Witchers have oto send their fallen brothers off.

So much grief, so much pain, but at least these witchers have a bard to sing them farwell. Ao3 Link here

Kher Morhen was quiet. Quieter that it had been for a long time.

Geralt, Lambert, Eskel and Coen had set the funeral pyres up, ready for Vesemir to use Igni on them to set their spirits free.

Cirilla had been hiding away, terrified of herself and what she could do to those that were still standing.

Geralt knew he should go to her, that he should help her get through this. After all, it wasn’t any more her fault than it was anyone else’s.

He just didn’t know how or what to say to her. He was a lot softer now than he had been 25 years ago, before meeting Jaskier, but he didn’t believe he was soft enough for a child. A traumatised one at that.

Jaskier had just scoffed at him and said tough shit, he had one now and if he ever spoke to her the way he had Jaskier, he would find a way to kill him in his sleep.

Geralt didn’t doubt him one bit. His bard was feral when the occasion called for it.

Speaking of his bard, he looked over to see him hand a piece of paper over to Vesemir, who grunted and nodded in turn.

When he turned back around, Jaskier gave Geralt a small but sad smile. There was so much they still had to talk about, so much they had to hash out, but like Jaskier said, now was not the time. They had all winter after all and right now Geralt had brothers to see off into the abyss. Brothers to bid a last farewell to.

The 5 witchers lined up with Vesemir in the centre. “The bard is going to sing something,” he said gruffly.

“Indeed. I know witchers aren’t much for words when deeds show the measure of your heart. So allow me to thank and honour each of your brothers, your friends, for protecting us all and the world at large. I will have written a song for each of them by the time we head out on the Path again in spring, but until then, please allow me to sing them farewell. These men were brave and kind and fear of them, of you all, has made all your lives harder. It is unfair, and it is unkind, but fear is like a sickness that ravages the mind. So, to these good men, these good witchers, these good souls, I bid them adieu, to a place where fear can no longer touch them.”

Jaskier’s voice went quiet as he started to slowly strum at his lute strings, humming softly.

Vessimer stepped forward and cast Igni on their fallen family. “Sleep well, my boys,” he said tiredly, defeated.

“Sleep well,” the younger witchers chorused.

They stood there quietly until Jaskier’s melodic voice broke the silence. He sang softly, sweetly, almost like a lullaby.

It took Geralt a moment to hear the words, but when he did, he didn’t even try to stop the pain he felt from crossing his face. If the way the others were crowding one another was any indication, they felt the same.

In the shadowed corners of the world,

Where whispers weave their web of art, Fear takes root, a silent seed,

A sickness that spreads with stealthy speed.

Oh, fear, the cunning thief of light,

It steals our good sense in the dead of night,

But listen close, my witchers, and hear: Fear is a sickness if you let it steer.

It creeps like mist across the mind,

A fog that blinds, a knot that binds,

Yet courage blooms where shadows fall, Witchers are a remedy that breaks fear’s thrall.

Oh, fear, the cunning thief of light,

It steals our senses in the dead of night,

But listen close, my witchers, and hear: Fear is a sickness if you let it steer.

The cure lies not in potions or signs,

But in the fire that burns and warms, The ember of hope, the spark of might.

That banishes fear and reclaims the light.

Oh, fear, the cunning thief of light,

It steals our senses in the dead of night,

But listen close, my witchers, and hear: Fear is a sickness if you let it steer.

So sing this truth, let it resound,

In every heart where fear is found,

For courage, love, and daring cheer,

Shall heal the sickness because witchers draw near.

Jaskier let his voice fade away as the music filled the space he had previously sung into. Geralt slowly walked towards his bard and they stood side by side as the other witchers finally left the funeral pyre.

“Jaskier...” Geralt started, unsure what to say.

Jaskier slowly stopped strumming and lifted a hand to Geralt’s cheek and moved his thumb, stroking it. “Not now, dear heart. There will be time for this. But now is the time to say goodbye, to be with your brothers. We have time, Geralt.”

“Do we?” Geralt croaked out.

“We do, so much time. Go. I’ve got Cirilla for the night. Tomorrow is a new day Geralt. We don’t have to rush just because we are afraid,” Jaskier whispered into the night air.

“I am. Afraid I mean,” Geralt admitted quietly.

“I know, love. So am I. But we can’t give into the fear, we can’t let it win. After all, Witchers chase the fear away,” Jaskier said with a smile before he leant in slightly and kissed Geralt’s cheek.

“Go. Try not to be afraid, just for this night,” Jaskier said before walking away.

They had so much to sort out, so much to be afraid of and for. But Jaskier was right. Feat was a sickness, a monster with invisible claws.

And Geralt was made to destroy monsters, no matter what form they came in.

[thedemonofcat]

One of my all-time favorite movies is "The Princess Bride." Currently, I'm toying with the idea of creating a Geraskier-inspired story, but I'm not quite in the mood for it. Instead, I've been thinking about casting characters from "The Witcher" as the characters from "The Princess Bride." Here's what I've come up with so far:

- Grandfather: Vesemir

- Grandson (or granddaughter, in my version): Ciri

- Princess Buttercup: Jaskier

- Westley: Geralt

- Prince Humperdinck: Radovid

- Vizzini: Dijkstra

- Fezzik: Eskel or Lambert (either one could work)

- Inigo Montoya: Renfri

- Count Rugen: Stregobor

I'm leaving out some of the minor characters since I can't think of good matches for them at the moment.

[inexplicifics]

Hello Inex! I loved Sweet and Savory, and loved that you include Gweld in the brothers-pack dynamic (and Coen/Eskel isn't a pair I see often, but they kind of make sense). Can I ask you what bunnies are you working (or not working) are you now beside the eventual flash fic ones?

Many bunnies!

I've just finished a birthday fic for a friend which got longer than planned; By the Broken Lock That Freed Me will go up next week.

I'm working on Flung to Catch a Star, the next AW AU fic. I also need to edit New-Made Gold to Give You, a short AW AU fic set during the aftermath of the conquest of Redania.

I'm doing final edits on Out of the Night That Covers Me, a modern Laiden AU.

I need to do an editing pass on Set a Cat to Catch a Wolf, a mostly-canon-verse Laiden thing inspired by that post that goes around about "Who did this to you" being a marriage proposal.

And there's an untitled but mostly finished ficlet in the Minor Fall 'verse featuring Geralt, Lambert, and Aiden cornering Jad; that needs edits and a title.

There are a lot of other bunnies, but those are ones that are biting hardest right now!

I'm so glad you liked Sweet and Savory!

[pherryt]

Beneath the Surface of Kaer Morhen

Witcher

Ships: none Characters: Voltehre, Lambert, Vesemir, Eskel, Geralt and minor others Words: 6331 Save a Witcher Bingo - Squares filled:

Chapter 1 G3: Teammates

Chapter 2 I2: Fix it

Chapter 3 G1: Everybody Lives

Summary:

They were halfway there. The Trial of the Grasses was done, and soon those that were left would undertake the Trial of the Medallion. Voltehre was alive and so was Lambert, Remus and Aja. But the death toll had been high. There had to be a better way.

He wasn't the only Witcher to think so.

@save-a-witcher-bingo

[meepthemeeping]

Lambert's Wonderful Day! Modern AU

Lambert looked in the rearview mirror for the passage seat. He could see the client they were supposed to protect, downing more wine. She was a minor noble in need of security. She thought it was a good idea to run her mouth behind an up-and-coming goddamned gang.

"Looking sunny as ever, Lambert," Eskel hums from the passenger seat.

"Fuck you," Lambert says as he enters the parking lot. The noble wanted to meet up with some friends at a club named The Caravan.

"Hm, how ya like your new place?"

"It's a place, nothing too special." Lambert rolled his eyes.

"Ever since you moved there, you've been acting like someone shit in your mailbox," Eskel said as he readjusted the vest hidden under his shirt.

"Just an annoying neighbor," Lambert said, stepping out of the car. He wasn't sure why this Aiden guy bothered him so much. Yeah, his neighbor kicked his ass, but not on purpose.

"Hold on, I need to fix my eyeliner!" The noble slurred from the back. Lambert held in his groan as he sat right back down.

Eskel snorts and says, "An annoying neighbor? I'm not buying it. Now what is it?"

"I'm doing fucking dandy."

"Dandy people don't drink as much as you."

"Fuck-," Lambert bites his lip. It's none of his gods-damned business. He turns to the noble in the back, and she uses a credit card to stencil her eyeliner. "Are you done yet?"

"Yeah, let's fuckin' go!" She fumbles with the door handle a few times before nearly falling out of the car.

Eskel sighed. The noble had stammered into the club after she threw a fit like a toddler because a bouncer checked her ID.

The club was dim, with numerous lights flashing along to the beat of the music. Sweaty bodies pressed against each other drunkenly, grinding and dancing. The scent was a blend of expensive liquor and a mix of colognes and perfumes that attempted to cover body odor. Geralt, the lucky fuck, gets to skip out on their merry adventure since it’s his week with Ciri. It was purely at the mercy of some unfamiliar god that the girl decided to cram herself into a booth near the back. There were seven exits: one in the front, two on each side, one on the roof, and one in the back.

This place had enough people around that it was easy to blend into the crowd. Hiding among intoxicated dancers and vanishing into the shadowy back area was far too easy.

He could already feel the monster of a headache he was going to have later form on the side of his head.

If the noble was telling the truth about that gang, chances are they're tracking her. He needed to keep an eye out for some weasley fuck named Jad and his members.

He got elbowed at least five times as he went to get water for the client. It took a grand total of 20 minutes for the bartender to actually give him the water.

"It took you long enough,” Eskel said when he finally returned. Lambert fought the urge to dump the water in his lap and handed it to his brother. "I didn't notice anyone that looked like they were from the gang."

"Good. Today might not suck balls."

"Her friends haven't shown up either," Eskel says as he looks back at the noble, face down on the table.

"And I get to go home earlier, fuckin' score."

Eskel made a pitiful attempt to get water into her system. She just slurred something incomprehensible before pushing the water away. After awkwardly crawling over Eskel, she decides to fumble her way to the dance floor.

"I'mma go- hiccup- dance." She doesn't wait for a reply as she pushes past Lambert.

"Lambert, go follow her; I'll call Geralt." Eskel pulls out his phone.

"Why do I have to fucking do it?" Lambert whines, already tired of the noble's bullshit.

Eskel just makes a waving motion at him. With a groan, Lambert tracks the client as he attempts to stay a few feet away.

Amidst the neon glow and thumping bass of the club, Lambert trailed the client through the sea of dancing bodies. As if sensing his frustration, the crowd seemed to conspire against him, pushing and bumping into him at every turn.

Despite his best efforts, he struggled to keep up with her. Every time he closed the gap, someone would stumble into him, forcing him to lose precious seconds. His jaw clenched with frustration, he continued to weave through the crowd, his eyes never leaving her.

Suddenly, a particularly aggressive shove sent him stumbling. He regained his balance just in time to see the client start dancing with an equally drunk girl. Determined not to lose her, he pushed through the crowd with renewed vigor, his frustration fueling his determination.

Annoyed, he tried to look casual. All seemed fine until a man started dancing far too close to her. He assumed it was some creepy asshat, but something was off. His eyes kept shifting around as he inched closer to the girl. That was when he spotted the gun slowly being removed from the area between his jacket and back.

The tackle Lambert had to deliver was painful. They pounded the glass dance floor hard, no doubt cracking it. There was a scream, and people began clearing a circle for the fight to unfold. Lambert had managed to get the man in a headlock to hold him far away from the pistol.

"Get the fuck off." The man says this while violently head-butting Lambert.

"Oh, you motherfucker!" Lambert shrieks, grabbing his sore jaw.

The man stands quickly on his feet before running towards the exit near the back. Pissed off and now bleeding, Lambert charged forth again, crashing both himself and the attacker onto the corner of the bar. With a disgusting crack, he could register his nose turning against the firm wood. Lambert could hear his brother sprinting to the scene, pinning the dazed man.

"Fuck, Lambert!" Eskel exclaimed, holding the attacker face-down on the broken floor.

Lambert could handle pain; he did enough idiotic shit in his childhood to prove that. He could worry about his nose later; he had to call the police while his brother handled the situation.

The night ended with a shittastic array of red and blue lights as the attacker was carried off. It turns out the client's so-called friends were plotting with the people she pissed off. Outside the club, he knelt and, without grace, lifted his nose and snapped it back in its proper place. When the wave of agony spread across Lambert's face, making his eyes water, he clenched his teeth.

"Damn," Eskel hisses at the sound, his brother's pain palpable. It wasn't until now he noticed the vomit staining his shirt; he had a pretty good idea who it was from. Grabbing painkillers from a backpack, he hands them to Lambert, who grumbles. "Are you sure you don't need to sit back?"

"Fuck no, my nose looks like it's made out with a brick. Shit like this only happens because all these dipshits believe they're bulletproof. Now, you enjoy dealing with that noble's bullshit; I'm going the fuck home," Lambert spits, marching off to call a ride. He wanted to go back and finish that series and forget about the whole night. Maybe get shitfaced in the process?

"Okay, Lambert! See ya," Eskel calls.

He teeters back to his apartment, finally sensing the weariness in his bones. The shower was nothing remarkable, but it felt incredible washing over his head. After managing to get a buzz, he lies on the couch. The only sound in the apartment was the documentary and the wind outside. He should be used to the quietness by now; he should appreciate it. Even after a few weeks here, it felt more and more noticeable. It was a festering, hollow silence that never went away.

Just another fabulous day in the life of Lambert.

[gaygayaurel]

As game Lambert #1 fan 5ever the Nerflix Lambert sucks but not bcs of what people think? (I didnt read book of elves I love and respect myself sometimes )

As in game Lambert is kinda fun in that he got actually defined compared to Novels and Hexer where he did not exist ad character proper. He is deeply mean and sarcasric person, being willing to chew out his closest friends and enemies alike. He isnt as morally concerned abt stuff as geralt and when someone asks him to kill a monster he'd do it. Fuck he'd even go as far as use Axii to make two bandits die in horrific way. This is after all his lot in his shitty miserable life. He hates witchery and witchers and the very concept of this much suffering ("But you kept the table" he says furious to Vesemir as they stand above screaming Uma). His attitude is just such a complete 360° from Geralt' silent acceptance of what was done to them. It truly becomes the only voice of like hey fuck what happened to us, fuck it all to hell. Hes an utter fucking dickhead and hell provoke people for no reason (talkinf abt geralt and triss in front of phillipa for no reason) (i deadass dont think he would fuck up yens stuff on purpose tho #;#&#&)

His main core personal element is revenge. In his short appearence in w1 he proclaims desire to slaughter salamandra for killing Leo. In W3 he goes on massive revenge rampage spanning CONTINENTS for a guy we dont know (and thats pretty cool to me, implying he has adventures outside geralt, both him and eskel). He says his first action after he left Kaer Morhen was to find and kill his dad ( and him being sad he couldnt save his mother his life is all just empty revenges that will never fill the holes of people hell miss).

But also main Core element of Lambert is also love as cheesy as it sounds. He cared deeply for Leo and Aiden and even his own mom. After Triss. Got conked out by a mage guy in witcher 1 he cared for her and watched over her (they were hardcore inplying shipping which is funnt but whatever). He literally puts his life on line dor Ciri and Geralt. The thing is he is dickhead but he will do Everythinf for those few peoples he has left in his life.

The Point is games being games and larger allowed Lambert to have depth and nuance. He is imo one of the most interesting and coolest game characters. Netflix Lambert however did not have the time for variety of reasons to get that.

One is Lambert is very minor person in books. Second is that the show didnt...realy care abt witchers past vesemir maybe. So he wasnt a focus. In the end what we get is disappoitninf character not helped by the fact most witchers in netflix are cannon fodders for baba yaga.

ONE issue that I have is people saying Lambert was a dick to Ciri and thats OOC. While I cant speak from the POV of books (altho my friend who did read them say he is sexist), from POV of game thats untrue. In fact I believe game Lambert would VERY much be a fucking dick to Ciri fron a start. It doesnt even need to have sexist colouring to it. This dude HATES witchering. He hates the mutagenesis and the pain of it all, the destiny in it. I firmly believe he wouldnt be OK with a bew trainee and guess what? While he didnt live through instructors not giving fucks abt new witchers because like 1/20 live to become witchers he LIVED through it. On his skin. I firmly believe Lambert being DICKHEAD to ciri at first is nit only a whiff of the complex game!Lambert but a decent start of its own standalone character.

In witcher 1 also wheb tou tell him Leo died he laments he "was not ready". Leo. Just like ciri never got his mutagens (take this with grain of salt because leos whole character is weird tm). So him being an miserable instructor who will push you until you cry is in character ingame. This guys has ten layers of issue.

What Netflix misses is the fact we dont SEE lambert getting to his relationship Ciri where we see rhem albeit briefly in game (willing to fight to death for her). We just have this awkward jump from utter hostility to them beinf kinda pals after baba yaga fight. In the end netflix lambert is just. Boring.

Also hes not a balding fuck and i cant forgive that

[thebestworstidea]

Witcher Fic Recommendations

Presented in no particular order, some of my favorite Witcher Fics; Links are to Ao3. They are also mostly Explicit, but cute, if you get me? I tend to forget the porn when remembering them because it's about the character interactions not the fucking.

Pretty much anything @inexplicifics has written (I started hearing about the Accidental Warlord Series (E, Geralt/Jaskier, Geralt/Eskel, Geralt/Jaskier/Eskel and assorted minor ships. In which a terrified bard stops being terrified and helps reshape the world with his music and his heart.) when I started going through the Witcher tag and somehow it was even BETTER than I assumed) but in particular I am crazy about their Lambert/Aiden. Your Kind of Heaven (M, in which Lambert is smarter than Orpheus), Three Bells each with a Separate Sound (E, in which timefuckery makes for the best fuckert)and Out of the Night That Covers Me (M, in which a single good deed does multiple people a shit ton of good)are all fics I've read multiple times already.

@jackironsides is also a go to favorite writer, with Kaer Morhen Book Club (T in which fanfic changes people's perspectives, and the Kaer Morons love romance novels.)being a unclosed tab on my phone in case I need a pick me up. But honestly, any of their works are worth a read. I went through their entire library with no regrets.

@spielzeugkaiser does this amazing art to tell stories with; while it can take me most of a fic to tear up, they can do it in a handful of sketches so there's that. But there's plenty more that's cute and sweet. Love their Shifter!Jaskier and bearwitcher!Jaskier

A Beginners Guide to Exploiting the Kaedweni Tax Code For Fun and Profit by Heronfem- more Lambert/Aiden, modern-with-magic college au, it's just ... so good. (In which a demisexual, genderfluid Lambert gets accidentally married to a theatre kid and it fucking rocks.)

Cabinet of Curiosities (E) by aleatory_fox, round_robin was one of the first fics I read in the fandom and it stuck with me a great deal. (in Which Witchers are Objectified(like, pets.), and Jaskier's plots run deep.)

round_robin also wrote an Exhalation of Wolves, (E)scenes from which also pop into my head when I'm not thinking of other things. (In which Jaskier makes soap, and is beloved by the Wolves of Kaer Morhen- and loves them back just as hard)

Mating Call (E) by TAFKAmayle gets a reminder about the explicitness, because it is blatant monsterfucking. Cute somehow though. (in Which Jaskier is an adorable pervert; and Willow stares at pictures on the Witcher-Wiki and goes 'yeah, I can see that')

really enjoying the Cutagen Verse stories by artistsfuneral, if only because they agree with me that there need to be just a couple more surviving wolf Witchers. (G-M, with one E. What it says on the tin)

Beasts In Fields of Flowers by @sheepishwolfy (series M/E) has very good banter in my opinion. (in which there are both Cuteagens and Feral Jaskier so that's the appeal)

The Courting Jewlery ABO (E)series by suzukiblu has definitely done things to my brain in regard to ABO. Good things. (In which Geralt is an Omega who deserves all the nice things Jaskier can give him, and Jaskier is going to do it whether he likes it or not)

Curse of Chamomile by chamomiletea (E) by (In Which Geralt gets a very specific curse, which leads him to Jaskier, an apology, and several new experiences. Raunchy and sweet and cute in turns)

Being Roach by @senashenta a delightful crossover that I adore. And cute, not explicit, for a change. (Witcher- Heralds of Valdemar crossover)