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#missing mom
renee-writer · 3 months
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Harry and River; Baby years:
Leia:
*Mentions of death and grieving plus it's really sad and emotional too*
I woke up today with a slight chill on my skin. I glazed over my phone screen to see the date of today that brought a variety of memories. The picture on my dresser said it all as I looked into the eyes I'll never see alive again. Those sea salt, turquoise eyes that once belonged to my soulmate....Leia. River's mother...the best mother.
The way her gentle songbird voice would sing to River when he had a bad night, the way she would have a beautiful meal prepared when i returned from work and how River would be sitting his bassinet chewing on the rubber ring toy I picked up for him to gnaw on instead of the dirt and pebbles nearby.
And the way Leia would passionately kiss my cheek if I painted a beautiful picture to hang in the house somewhere. The flowers she planted are still in front of the house catching the eyes of a few strangers lucky enough to pass our block. The rain yellow, pink, blue and purple of different types that all stand proudly on the kelly green stem that sways back and forth on those windy summer days.
Her presence almost reign in the flowers and the winds that blow them.
But now...she's gone. Her bedside, the left side is still flat. I've changed the sheets and the bed since then, but I still expect her to join me in bed once evening befalls and I need someone to talk to about the rough day I had at work and she listens patiently without judgement and just swishes my hair back and forth while my head lies in her lap.
I'm not used to the closet being my own, and the lipstick stains that are non present on any coffee cup I wash. Even the sweet lipstick marks that pronounced themselves on River's chubby cheeks that was almost like a trail marker that informed me Leia had already been there. She was a girly girl and tomboy mix. Her collection of flannels overridden the drawers, and the fancy date night party dresses took up enough closet space already.
Oh why'd she'd have to smoke at 22?
Cries snapped me out of my nostalgic melancholy thoughts as I raced to River's room and scooped the baby into my arms gently rocking him back and forth gently shushing him. "It's okay, daddy's here, he's not going anywhere." I said mostly reassuring myself.
I peppered soft kisses to his head before setting River down in his changing table. "I'm gonna change your diapie wipie sweetie." Afterwards, I took him downstairs for breakfast. "So rivie, I was thinking maybe we could go to the mall today and just shop around, maybe pick you up some new toys and clothes?"
I set River down in his high chair and whipped up some mashed peaches for him. Deep down I knew I was trying to beat around the bush to get away from me and Leia's anniversary. But I couldn't face it right now. It was too painful, it's only been a year since Leia died and I wasn't completely healed yet...but I was being strong for River and that's what I focused on the most.
"You like those peaches right?" I said in a baby voice to River. "I know, they're so good. Daddy likes peaches too."
I put River in baby blue overalls and a lavender shirt with red sneakers. We headed to the mall where the fountain in the front always captured River's attention. I took him inside in his baby stroller, trying not to look at all the mothers with their babies. Feeding them, changing them, playing with them..I felt as if I failed River access to a mother.
I continued on and went inside the BabiesRus that was anchored as a mall store. I let River pick out any toy he wanted which happened to be the oversized rhino that he wouldn't put down for anything. The stuffie costed me almost 50 dollars, but it put a smile on River's face so it was worth every dime.
"Excuse me." I turned to see a mother with her baby girl in the basket as she was trying to squeeze past me. "Oh pardon." I said moving out of her way. I couldn't help but notice the way she playfully engaged with her baby. To compensate almost, I smiled and picked up River from his stroller and played with him a little while holding him close to me.
We spent the rest of our time at the park where River was at his favorite kiddie swing, and the rumination of me just pushing him while in deep thought committed me. Almost like an elephant chained by his ankle to the cage he's staying in. It wasn't until my watch struck twelve that motioned for me to take River home for lunch and a nap.
River had already fell asleep in the car so I figured I would feed him after his nap. I carefully laid him in his crib and tucked rexie next to him. I kissed his cheek softly and wished him sweet dreams before going to leaving the room quietly.
I entertained myself with a good book until River's nap was over. That's when I got the strange feeling to look inside an old box of Leia's things just for a moment relive. I went into the attic and found Leia's old wedding dress and my tuxedo and the matching corsages we both wore. I remember it like yesterday, our theme was blue with laces of sliver.
Then I found an old photo of Leia holding a newborn River. He was so tiny, and Leia had on a typical hospital gown while I wore green surgical scrubs. Leia was so nervous that something would go wrong or that she wouldn't bond with River but none of those things happened. I pulled back her strands of her light brown hair and kissed her cheek. "It'll be okay babe." I said. And it was.
She still kept River's hospital bracelet and receiving blanket and hat from that day. But what really entranced me was Leia's old poem book. She would write in it everyday and I couldn't even count the endless amount of poems she wrote about River. And me of course.
She wrote about the first time we met. It was at a art school where they taught different classes. Leia was practicing pottery and I remember she made the prettiest vase that was painted blue with pink roses on it. She ended up giving it to me as a present on our second date. She was such an empath, and sweet and intelligent and funny too.
I looked at the last poem she wrote while she was in the hospital...well hospice I should say. It was about River.
"My dear River, while I know I don't have much time left, I want you to remember me by the presence I carry with you. On a cold windy day when you're alone and astray, I'll be like a warm fuzzy blanket that you can cuddle in and play.
On a hot summer night, I'm a light that shines with the fireflies. And when your heart needs a shelter after too many falls, let me heal it, to you I give you my all. With every touch and kiss, with every bloom and bliss, you are my River that streams along the fields, with every wind, I am your shield. To my River when you feel oh so blue, always remember me and your father will always love you."
Tears formed in my eyes thinking about the woman Leia was. Oh I missed her than what words could describe.
It wasn't until later that evening, when I had let it slip my mind that I didn't put Leia's box back and it was out and about on my bed. I had set River down on the bed not even noticing the box until I saw his hand reach in and pull out a picture.
"Hey buddy whatcha got the-" River showed me a picture of Leia holding a rose in her hand. My perplexed expression turned to a somber one.
Her light brown hair glowed in the sunlight and the floral print dress she had on matched perfectly with her peachy skin. The room fell silent. "I....I see you found a pretty picture haven't you?"
I carefully took the picture from him before taking a deep breath. "Here rivie, daddy wants to show you something." I put the picture back in the box and picked up River. I picked up the box with my free hand and carried on outside while it was still light out.
I set River down in front of the flowers Leia had planted and showed him everything inside the box. "You're mom planted all these flowers in the backyard by the fence. She loved gardening. But her favorite thing was taking you outside and picking flowers for you and she would show you butterflies and different plants. She adored rivie." I rubbed my face against River's head.
I showed River the poem she wrote for him. "This is the last one she wrote before...well she passed. It's beautiful River." Tears formed before full on cried choked themselves out. "Now we can miss her together."
I held River tightly as the wind blew in the breeze sweeping petals across the sunsetting view of the sun. Leia was still alive....in our hearts she was at least. And I'll always make sure River knows that.
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aristocraticvision · 1 year
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Chapter 317: Welcome to Cairo
Stephanie and Theresa were surprised to find a car waiting for them when they stepped off the royal jet.
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“Your highness?” a man said, stepping forward. “Mrs. Vanderhall?”
“Yes,” Stephanie replied. “And you are?”
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“Faisal Hassan, ma’am,” the man said, “Deputy Secretary of the Egyptian Foreign Ministry. Your father requested assistance from us during your stay in our country.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Hassan,” Stephanie said.
Hassan turned as another man stepped forward.
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“Oh, and this is Inspector Valsan of the Egyptian State Police,” he said, as the other man gave a nod.
“Have you made any progress in the search for my mother?” Theresa asked.
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“I’m afraid not, Countess,” the inspector replied. “But we should be prepared to provide a briefing first thing in the morning.”
“Why not tonight?” Theresa asked.
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“Come on, Ter – it’s very late,” Stephanie said, before Hassan could respond. “Let’s get to our hotel and settle in for the night. I think we’ll all think more clearly after a good night’s sleep.”
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“Please, ma’am,” Hassan said. “It’s very likely we’ll have more information to share in the morning, so it’s in your best interest to wait for now. I promise to collect you as early as possible tomorrow, and I’ll be at your disposal throughout your stay.”
Theresa sighed.
“Very well, then,” she said, crestfallen.
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“I promise we’ll find your mother, ma’am,” Inspector Valsan said, sympathetically. “Please don’t worry.”
“Easier said than done,” Theresa replied.
Stephanie gently laid a hand on her best friend’s shoulder.
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“I know, Ter,” she said. “But I promise I won’t leave your side until we find her.”
“Thanks, Steph,” Theresa said. “I don’t know if I could do this without you.”
CHAPTER 1 | BEGINNING OF PART 4 | PREV | NEXT
Continent of Oceana | History of Weston | History of Corwyn | History of Torenth | History of Allycia
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anxiousangerball · 11 months
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I don't know who needs to hear this, but
YOU DO NOT NEED TO START A NEW HOBBY!
STEP AWAY FROM THE TEXTILES!
YOU DON'T NEED MORE YARN!
THAT FABRIC IS NOT CALLING TO YOU! LEAVE IT ALONE!
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theobviousparadox · 2 months
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Reread Project: Greenwild by Pari Thomson
Reread Project: Greenwild: The World Behind the Door One of my favorite books last year was Greenwild by Pari Thomson. I got completely swept away in the lush fantasy setting packed with magic, powerful plants, charming characters, and an unforgettable cat. This summer, the series continues with Greenwild: The World Beyond the Sea, which I’m eagerly anticipating. It’s one of the books I’m most…
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pinkandisworld · 2 months
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solarockk · 4 months
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thinking again about secret life and the clockers..
part 2
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Michael Afton let his FNAF trauma slip again…
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imagine ur garthy o’brien, just trying to fuck this hot ranger you met at your brothel that you own, except her teenage kids/wards/bosses keep knocking on the door to your bedroom and interrupting you guys and THEN you learn that she’s actually in a committed relationship but didn’t tell you, so THAT sucks but THEN one of the teens comes and finds you in the middle of the night yelling about how his friend is gone and they can’t find him and he might be in danger, so you help him teleport to his friend, and then when they all get back, looking extremely upset and dejected, you apologize to the ranger’s daughter for making her feel uncomfortable by fucking her mother and in the process SHE reveals to you that her mom’s boyfriend is actually this really cool werewolf guy that you KNOW and have fucked on multiple occasions
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pangur-and-grim · 8 months
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I was thinking about how long it takes to build a relationship with an animal.
like when I first got Tallgeese, she'd run in fear if I tried to approach her. and now three years later it's hard to walk through the backyard, because she's following me about like a puppy and placing herself directly beneath my descending feet.
meanwhile Grim was standoffish for the first few years of me having her, and would act all offended if I tried to scritch her ears. and now, in year eleven, she keeps me up at night by forcing herself under my arm and purring like a jet engine.
it makes me emotional. like here are my little guys, we've spent years figuring out how to love eachother, no big deal or anything.
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newriverartist · 1 year
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Missing her so much
Fall on the New River Original soft pastel painting SOLD Wall Art Prints and Prints on other items available with the below link https://kendall-kessler.pixels.com/featured/fall-on-the-new-river-kendall-kessler.html My mother was 96 when she passed away. How many people can say that their parents lived to be that old? Every day I see obituaries of people younger than me passing on. This is…
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renee-writer · 1 year
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come rest your bones next to me ; satoru gojo, suguru geto
synopsis; satoru shares the first snowfall of the year with the two people he loves most. 
word count; 4.6k
contents; satoru gojo/reader/suguru geto (poly relationship!!), gn!reader, you're all whipped, reader referred to as spouse, fluff fluff fluff!!, sickeningly domestic, just comfy vibes all around, mostly from satoru’s pov, suguru has a favorite (its you) (but also not really he just likes bullying toru <3), satoru gojo may or may not have unresolved mommy issues
a/n; happy satosugu holidays to those who celebrate <33 geto died today isnt that crazy. dont u think its fucked up how love figuratively and literally killed him. anyway! help urself to two very whipped husbands <33
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”holy shit!”
the raspy tilt of satoru’s voice echoes throughout the bedroom, stirring you from your comfortable slumber. a soft groan spills from suguru’s lips, deep and husky, as he pulls you closer into his embrace — smoothing a warm palm down the back of your head. trying to soothe you back to sleep, muttering under his breath.
”satoru, it’s too early for this...”
”it’s snowing!” said man continues, unperturbed. unmistakably giddy. he’s standing by the window, hands pressed flush against the cold glass; entirely entranced by the sight in front of his cerulean eyes. 
your eyelids begin to flutter. a tiny tug of your subconscious, a pang of something excited flowing through your veins, an alert to your sleepy brain.
(snowing.)
with groggy movements, you wriggle out of suguru’s grasp — a displeased grumble leaves his throat, almost a whine — allowing you to scramble out of bed. ”really?” you chirp, rubbing the sleep from beneath your eyes. a raspy, meek little voice spilling into the air.
satoru grins, watching you move closer, watching as a tiny gasp pushes past your lips. watching as your droopy eyes widen — brightening, glittering, starlight and snowflakes painted on the interior of your iris. a breathtaking sight, he thinks. 
maybe even more breathtaking than the winter wonderland reflected in it; beyond the pure opaque frosting of the window’s glass, out into your backyard, buried beneath a thick layer of snow. soft and fluffy, covering the city, suguru’s long-frozen tulip garden, the bare branches of your apricot tree. every roof in sight. all of it dyed a pure white, glittering in the light of a morning sun yet to fully rise, tiny snowflakes descending down to earth. 
it’s beautiful. 
satoru loves winter. he always has, he thinks. it comes to him as a memory — blurred at the edges, gleaming even still, the first time he saw those snowflakes up close. someone held him in their arms, he recalls. a warmth long faded. 
all he can properly remember is that sight. one that knocked the breath from out his tiny lungs, all glitter and something almost other-worldly, something frightening in its majesty. like it broke through a rift in the stratosphere. 
the first snow of the year.
and he’s loved it ever since; the soft crunch of snow beneath his feet, an air heavy with the scent of cinnamon and candied apples, bouts of laughter to be heard from faraway apartments. red and green glimmers of artificial light, sweet frosting on the christmas cake he would always gobble up alone in his room. the cold wind, nipping at his bare fingers — a reminder of his capacity for ache.
there are lots of things to love. lots of memories to cherish. and every single year, he gets the chance to make more.
like this; the light in your eyes, the smile on your face, the excitement in how hurriedly you turn to meet his giddy gaze. a nostalgic kind of joy simmering in the space between you.
and before either of you know it, satoru’s pulling you towards the hallway, intent on dragging you outside to see it all up close. almost tripping over his agumon plush, lying unassumingly on the floor, kicked off the bed once again. 
(probably by satoru himself, though he’ll always insist it was suguru’s doing. overcome by his jealousy, surely, unable to stand the sight of his cute husband cuddling up to a plushie instead of him. satoru understands, he does — he feels the same when he sees you hug that 3’0 cat plushie of yours.
and, sure, maybe once or twice he’s been lucid enough to register the subconscious kick of his leg and agumon’s subsequent fall to the floor — but he’ll still blame suguru in the morning. if only to see the way said man rolls his eyes, clicks his tongue, maybe flicks his forehead if he’s really lucky.)
high on the spirit of christmas, spurred on by childlike elation and sleep-deprivation, you stumble towards the door. satoru pulls one of his jackets over your shoulders, delighting in the way your hands don’t fully reach through the sleeves. wrapping you up in a cozy scarf when suguru shouts at you both to dress warmly, barely awake and already tired of your antics.
and the moment you step through the door, satoru is engulfed by it. that mystical, mystical feeling. 
a little lonely, a little too satisfying to pass up. a cold breeze that nips at his fingertips, snowflakes that brush against his cheeks and stick to his white lashes. a warm hand in his, as you cling to his side, shuddering — but smiling, as you look up at the sky, putting a hand out just to feel the snowflakes melt against the skin of your palm.
he feels you let go of him, but doesn’t mention it. a little too mesmerized to tug you back. dipping his toes into the bittersweet nostalgia of it all, staring at the flurry of white all around you, the skeletal branches of your apricot tree. suguru’s poor tulips. humming a jolly tune, subconsciously. a little delighted.
— until something cold and wet hits the exposed skin of his neck.
satoru twitches, a chilling shudder trickling down his spine. the snowball just thrown at him begins to melt, droplets sticking to his nape, and he turns to you with a raise of his brow. a devilish grin on his lips, when he hears your muffled laughter, sees the crinkle of your eyes.
(you’re cute, he thinks. but you need to be humbled.)
”oh, so that’s how you wanna play?” he drawls, eyes gleaming with amusement. taking a step forward, reaching down to gather some snow in his palm. a wide grin on his glossy lips. ”fine by me.” 
he's fast, but you act quickly, running towards the apricot tree with laughter in your throat. feeling the pitter patter of your heartbeat resound in your ears, as the snowball misses its mark by just a hair — and you waste no time in making your own.
it’s a hard-fought duel. snowfall blocking your vision, nerves beginning to numb, red cheeks and runny noses as you chase each other with giddy breaths. unfortunately for you, satoru’s arms are unfairly long, fingers unfairly nimble, and his stamina never even seems to falter.
so before long, your energy begins to dwindle. chest heaving, hands too cold to form a proper snowball, while your husband seems like he hasn’t even broken a sweat. they just keep on coming, snowball after snowball colliding with the fabric of your jacket, and when one of them hits your collarbone you squeal — falling backwards, right into a fresh pile of snow.
satoru moves forward, a triumphant smirk on his handsome face. you’re out of breath, and your hands are red, and he’s fairly certain you’re gonna catch a cold. suguru’s going to scold him, but right now all he can think of is you. the frown you’re wearing, the little huff that slips from your lips.
”ready to admit defeat, sweetheart?” he practically purrs, standing above you with his hands on his hips. smug. and you grin right back.
”never.”
a hum. something glimmers in his eyes, a devious little glint, and you come to regret your decision when satoru gathers a heap of snow with his overgrown arms; only to drop it all on top of you. too tired to fight back, all you can do is shield your face, silently accepting your fate.
a shiver wracks through your body, and satoru almost feels bad. just a tiny bit. but then you finally relent, murmuring bitterly under your breath. ”fine, fine…” a soft pout forms on your lips. ”you win.”
and satoru smiles. crouching down to meet you at eye level, on his knees in front of you. there’s a teasing mirth in his eyes, when he reaches out to cup the fat of your cheek. ”that’s all i wanted to hear, sweet pea,” he drawls, trying not to giggle when you exaggeratedly roll your eyes.
his voice curls down an octave when he continues, leaning forward to brush his nose against yours. hot breath against your chilled skin. ”now, for my prize…”
his lips meet yours, sweet and chaste — a little cheeky. you scoff into the kiss, but satoru’s smile only grows. honeyed, a little bit adoring. his tongue flits out to lick at your cold bottom lip.
he lingers, for a bit. like he’s trying to savour the way you taste, faded strawberry chapstick sticking to his lips, smudged against your own. and you sigh, softly, melting a little, comforted by the fleeting warmth that blossoms on your face. 
when he's finally satisfied, having dragged his prize out to its completion, satoru helps you up. brushing snowflakes off your jacket, cradling your ice-cold hands in his. they’re not faring much better, but a worried tug of his heartstrings compels him to warm you up. bringing them to his lips, hot breath fanning over your skin, tender little kisses against the knots of your knuckles.
you can’t help but blush, and a raspy chuckle flows from out his lips. 
hazy morning sunshine licks at the branches of the apricot tree behind you, illuminating the contours of your face, the shine of his eyes. a blue smudge on a canvas painted white and gray. the air smells of pine cones and something smokey, crisp. it courses through his burning lungs when he inhales, exhales, a breath of vapour that scatters up into the sky.
satoru loves winter. always has. but now, he’s certain he loves it even more.
because now, he has two people to share it with. two people to drag out into the snow, two people whose hands he can tenderly warm up, two people who’ll laugh and sigh at his antics and still indulge him. two people to pelt with snowballs. 
what more could a man want?
”hey, idiots!” 
the voice that echoes throughout the air is exasperated, a little teasing. yet fond. suguru’s got his hair tied into a messy half done bun, black turtleneck sweater enunciating his broad chest and the curve of his waist. there’s a fatigue in his eyes, the creases of his face, but a lazy smile is playing at his lips.
”i’m making breakfast,” he shouts, voice deep and smokey and soft even still. ”come in and warm up before you catch a cold.”
”is that any way to speak to your husband and spouse?” satoru chimes back, a melodic lilt to his sugarsweet voice. something satisfied. pleased.
suguru shoots him an unimpressed look, but his eyes soften. melting a little, at the words that spill from satoru’s lips, as if they were always meant to be there. 
(husband. spouse. suguru wills himself not to smile.)
with matching grins on your faces, the two of you stumble back towards the door. snow crunching beneath your feet, a happy noise pushing past your lips when you collide with the warmth of your husband’s chest.
”look, suguru. isn’t it pretty?” you chirp, smiling brightly. an expression he mirrors — brushing some snow from the top of your head, warm palms caressing your cold skin, setting a mental reminder to scold satoru later. sparing a brief glance at the snowy veil over reality.
then he exhales. a fond hum. ”it is.”
satoru joins you both by the door, stretching out his lanky limbs. tousled hair, wet strands sticking to his skin, reddened cheeks and a signature pout. ”suguru, my hands are cold,” he whines. ”warm ’em up for me?”
a click of his tongue. ”should’ve put some gloves on, satoru.”
a hum buzzes in your throat, and you put your hands out. itchy, a little dry. a sad frown tugs at your lips when you speak. ”my hands are also cold.”
and, like clockwork, suguru’s eyes soften. a coo tiptoeing on his tongue, engulfing your hands in his larger ones. ”aw, c’mere, my love…” his breath fans over your frozen fingertips. ”let’s get you warmed up, hm?”
satoru gasps, a hand on his chest, and you stifle a giggle. he’s acting, you both know, being a little drama queen. he knows you’re just exaggerating suguru’s double standard as a bit, that your husband would probably set himself on fire to warm either of you up.
despite that, his voice comes out thoroughly offended. ”oh, i see how it is,” he huffs, walking past the both of you. pouting deeply. ”you hate me. you hate me, and you want me to die. i understand.”
”satoru,” you coo. he hmphs, but stills, waiting for you to wrap your arms around him. and you do — a little too eager to appease your giant baby of a husband.
”we’re just joking around,” you assure him, holding back a humorous chuckle. squeezing his waist with palpable fondness. ”love you sooo much. you know that.”
satoru stays silent. but he cranes his neck, to meet suguru’s gaze, standing just behind him. narrowing his cobalt eyes — a meaningful look.
suguru sighs.
”yes, yes. we love you oh so much.” he takes a step forward, ruffling the white head of hair by the door. a lazy smile on his lips. ”now behave and go change out of your pyjamas. they’re soaked.”
his voice is teasing. exasperated, more than a little condescending. but it’s suguru, so satoru accepts it — following you both into the warmth of your home. the scent of cinnamon and vanilla hangs heavy in the air, a hint of espresso and firewood, lulling him into a sweet state of tranquility. rich with comfort, safety.
he changes out of his wet clothes, pulling a black hoodie over his head before waltzing into the kitchen. and you do the same, emerging from your bedroom in one of suguru’s cozy sweaters, knitted and smelling of bergamot. 
when suguru notices, his gaze shifts into something fond. palpable. a look satoru always finds in the scope of those warm eyes, amber and cedar bleeding into something sweet, only ever directed at the two of you. a look said man assumes goes unnoticed. he’s not as slick as he thinks.
the kitchen simmers with hazy sunlight and gentle movements, something sleepy and kind. satoru is a little bit enamored with it; from bowls of cat food by the corner, to camellias by the windowsill, cookie jars and dried lemon slices, the fading scent of baked goods and wishlists stuck to the fridge.
(yours and satoru’s are filled with scribbles, new ideas popping up daily, while suguru’s is almost entirely blank; mostly necessities, one or two things he’d like for himself.
and then, of course, the same thing he writes at the top of his wishlist every year; some peace and quiet.)
suguru shuffles around the kitchen, long strands of black hair cascading down his back, swaying with his movements. he sends you both an affectionate glance when you step in, already in the process of making satoru his cup of hot chocolate — topped with marshmallows and whipped cream, colorful sprinkles in the shape of tiny stars, a touch of cinnamon. satoru licks his lips.
when it's finished, the cup is promptly handed to him, paired with a tender kiss to his forehead. and suguru starts the meticulous brewing of your coffee, steady hands, finely chosen coffee beans, the low purring of the espresso machine. soothing.
that’s when you attach yourself to his back. wrapping your arms around his waist, a sleepy yawn muffled into the fabric of his turtleneck. he places a big palm on your hand, thumb smoothing over your knuckle, and you nuzzle into him silently. suguru smiles.
”still sleepy, baby?” he questions, a coo on the tip of his tongue. his voice is soft, palpably so, buzzing with warmth and safety and something that makes you want to stay cuddled up to him forever.
satoru senses an opportunity to insert himself into the conversation, and forces out a yawn of his own. stretching his limbs like a big cat, blinking drowsily, eyelashes fluttering. hoping it’ll come off as endearing. ”mhm.” 
but suguru shoots him an unimpressed look. ”not you,” he tuts, patting your arm, ”this baby. i wasn’t asking you.”
a pout. ”why are you so mean to me?” he whines, shooting you a doe-eyed look. bottom lip jutting out slightly, a feigned glassiness to his eyes. ”sweetie, tell your husband to stop being so mean to me.”
you smile. indulgent, as always. ”don't be so mean to him, suguru. you know he’s sensitive.”
a sigh. deep, tinged with exhaustion. satoru shares an amused look with you — stifling a shared chuckle at suguru’s exasperation.
and suddenly, he feels something warm flutter in his ribcage. a sunkissed butterfly, wings brushing against his ribs, coaxing his lips into curling up. unmistakable fondness, almost too much to bear. the need to reach out and touch you creeps up on him, a hunger he can’t deny, but he holds back; you look comfy like that, curled up against suguru’s spine. so he only inches closer, without a word. 
his husband casts him a glance, but satoru stays silent. lips pursed, waiting for something. patient.
and suguru relents. he reaches a hand out, to tuck a stray strand of white hair behind his ear — an excuse to touch him. a silent apology. 
(i'm sorry, you big baby.)
satoru grins.
you shift from foot to foot, leaning over to see what suguru is doing, pressing buttons and taking two ceramic cups out from a wall cabinet. your eyes zero in on a particular shelf, narrowing in suspicion, before flitting over to meet your husband’s gaze.
”satoru, did you use up all my peppermint sweeteners again?”
he stiffens. just a tad, before swallowing a gulp — followed by a silly chuckle, sheepish and performative, eager to wiggle his way out of your cold gaze. ”… which sweeteners do you mean, honey?”
”don’t pull the ’honey’ card.”
”and don’t play dumb, either.”
a pout crosses his lips. betrayed. ”suguru, who’s side are you even on?”
said man gives him a look. that one look, characteristically suguru, the same one he always sends satoru’s way. one so thoroughly unimpressed it makes him feel like the world’s biggest clown. 
and satoru plays along. your dutiful, beloved clown, his posture wilting like a sad flower. suguru exhales through his nose.
”don’t steal their sweeteners.” he smooths a thumb over your knuckle, absentminded, meeting the cold metal of the ring on your finger. smiling a little at the sensation. ”buy your own.”
satoru huffs, drawn out and childish. crossing his arms, leaning against the kitchen counter. ”ah, i see how it is. leaving your sweet husband to buy his own sweeteners?” he clicks his tongue. ”chivalry is dead.”
you bite back a little chuckle — satoru recognizes the cute noise you make when you do — and suguru rolls his eyes. fondly, always. ”remind me next time i go to the store and i’ll consider it.”
”hmph.”
suguru is smiling. it’s small, but genuine, worth a thousand words. and you are, too, the vague crinkle of your eyes giving you away. even as you bury your face in the curve of suguru’s back.
and ah, satoru thinks. there it is again. 
that sickeningly sweet sense of deja vu; the sensation of a certain something flourishing deep inside his chest. warming him up, trickling through his frost-bitten veins. that one little itch he never manages to satisfy, that never goes away, something that took root inside his heart years ago — watered by the sweet looks on your faces.
this everyday slice of heaven, right in front of him, that he’s been greedily partaking in ever since he moved in with you. since he married you.
(married.)
sometimes he still can’t believe it. 
”it’ll be done in a minute,” suguru hums, and satoru blinks. broken out of his syrupy stupor. ”you two go wait by the kotatsu, okay? must be cold, poor babies.” 
and, as always, his voice is a little teasing. a tiny bit condescending, if you really strain your ears, in typical suguru fashion. but it’s laced with a touch of sweetness; one that would be too much for either of you to stomach, if it were to drip out of his lips with nothing to water it down. so satoru accepts it. welcomes it, even.
and you follow his suggestion. making your way towards the living room, satoru trailing behind you, continuously enamored by every little thing he sees. every little piece of the home you’ve built for yourselves.
your living room is cozy. several potted plants seated here and there, a thick quilt to cover the kotatsu, a bowl of satsumas on top of it. a sleepy cat on your couch, golden sunshine ruffling her fur. a santa hat lies beside her, and satoru snags it without much thought. pulling it over his head.
his gaze shifts to the christmas tree over in the corner, eyes filling with a childlike kind of wonder. it’s decorated to completion, weighed down by colourful ornaments and lights, a star at the very top. suguru cut it himself, bringing the biggest and prettiest one he could find back home.
(satoru had gone with him. partially to help carry it back, mostly to get a glimpse of suguru's biceps flexing with the swing of the axe. he’s a simple man.)
and beneath it, presents are already beginning to pile up. carefully wrapped, in bows and silken paper, growing more each day. shattering suguru’s hopes of maybe having a more lowkey christmas this year — but satoru couldn’t be more relieved. this is the only time of year you let him get away with pampering you both to his heart’s content.
a smile blooms on his lips. he plops down on the floor, crossing his legs, right as suguru walks in with a coffee pot in hand. their gazes overlapping.
and something mischievous begins to brew within the blue of his eyes, something that makes suguru narrow his own. satoru pats his thigh, twice, a coo on the tip of his tongue. santa hat sitting pointedly on top of his head, fluffing up his hair.
”c’mere, suguru! sit on santa’s lap.”
”— you’re disgusting.”
the words are playful, but a pout still slips into the curve of satoru’s lips, and he huffs out a displeased little breath. his husband pretends not to hear it, so satoru turns to you — sitting so prettily to his right, already anticipating his next move. puppy dog eyes on full display, he gives you a soft tilt of his head, snowy tufts of hair falling over his eyes.
and you sigh, in what he knows is resignation. his faux pout turning into a satisfied grin.
you curl up in satoru’s lap without much of a fuss, letting him circle his arms around you. an indulgent smile rests on your lips, but he knows you love this; his broad chest against your back, the heat of the kotatsu warming your feet. breathing in the fading scent of your shampoo, he leaves a peck on the sensitive spot right behind your ear, and you try not to shudder.
then satoru smiles. squeezing you, lightly, sweetly, eyes rich with honeyed affection. voice dripping with playful endearment. ”there we go,” he coos. ”what does my angel want for christmas, hm?” 
”i want you to stop stealing my peppermint sweeteners,” comes your answer. instantaneous.
silence fills the room. a moment passes. outside your frosted windows, a bird takes flight from the branches of your apricot tree. and satoru clicks his tongue.
”… santa can only do so much, baby.”
two deep scoffs fill the air, heavy and bemused. one from you, one from suguru. satoru only giggles.
”just kidding!” he chirps, planting a kiss on the top of your head. ”don’t you worry. santa’ll give you all the peppermint sweeteners you could ever want.” 
you raise a brow, exhaling amusedly. craning your head to meet his gaze. ”and he won’t end up using them all himself?”
”of course not! blasphemy.” 
a moment passes.
”… maybe one or two. as a treat.”
a string of protests slips from your lips, and satoru tries not to burst into a fit of giggles. suguru just watches, silently, smiling lightly as he pours hot coffee into two ceramic cups. steam wafting up to the ceiling, a cat jumping down from the couch to curl up in his lap. he places one in front of you, not taking a single sip of his own until he hears you hum blissfully at the taste — pink lips against white ceramic. a bitter taste on his tongue, sweetened by your approval.
then he starts peeling three satsumas, absentmindedly, and satoru swallows down the love-ridden honey choking up the back of his throat. pretending the domesticity of such a simple action doesn’t melt his heart down to the marrow. 
he turns his attention towards the window. frost sticking to the glass like spider-woven webs, soon to be melted by the glow of the mellow winter sunrays. flitting in through the curtains, cascading over the room, splattering across the floorboards. framing the hue of your hair, the smile on suguru’s lips.
and a memory comes to him. sudden, hazy, faded at the edges. ghosting his subconscious.
he remembers the frost, the biting wind, the frightening majesty of the snow that fell that day. breaking into his world through a rift in the stratosphere. he remembers the contrasting warmth of the person who held him, who cradled him close; the soft lull of a woman’s voice. 
for a moment, satoru thinks he can almost, almost see it before him. hear those gentle words, see her tired smile. why was she always so tired?
(look, satoru. isn’t it pretty?)
— he can’t recall how it sounded. if it was melodic and soft, or raspy and broken, happy or sad. but he does recall that it made him feel safe. safe enough to find comfort in a sight so other-worldly, so very foreign.
it should’ve been frightening, but it wasn’t. the first snowfall satoru ever saw knocked the breath from out his lungs, stole his heart with cold hands, left him with a suffocating nostalgia. but the memory is precious.
and now, he feels that sense of other-worldliness in this; a kotatsu for three, a warm house, peeled satsumas and promises of a christmas cake soon to be baked. one lovely spouse in his lap, the other gazing at him with that fond look he always assumes goes unnoticed. a cocoon of safety — a ghost he doesn’t need to chase anymore.
warmth. enough warmth to make up for the snow and frost outside your home, all the experiences he missed out on as a child. warmth, warmth, warmth. funny, how that happens to be satoru’s favorite thing about winter. 
he looks at the two of you, hoping you won’t pay any mind to his silence. for once, he hopes you’ll stay wrapped up in your awful, awful coffee, so bitter that just looking at it makes his throat feel dry. just so he can get away with admiring you for a little longer. from the contours of suguru’s face, to the skin of your collarbone, to the rings on your fingers. ones he put there himself. 
and ah, satoru thinks, there it is again. again and again, as always, forever. that warm, warm feeling flourishing in the depths of his chest. 
he hopes it never goes away.
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bob-mirum · 1 year
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WELP, many have been waiting for the third part of the cursed pictures, so why not? Enjoy :D First part Second part My pinterest board with original pictures
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smuby · 9 months
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miss pauling likes hot moms pass it on
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theobviousparadox · 1 year
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Review: Greenwild: The World Behind the Door by Pari Thomson
Greenwild: The World Behind the DoorPari ThomsonFarrar, Straus, and GirouxPublished June 6, 2023 Amazon | Bookshop | Goodreads About Greenwild: The World Behind the Door Open the door to a spellbinding world where the wilderness is alive and a deep magic rises from the earth itself . . . Eleven-year-old Daisy Thistledown is on the run. Her mother has been keeping big, glittering secrets, and…
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