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#mn. i like fell asleep for the last... probably 2 hours? idk man
pizzapizzadickz
ยท
2 years
Text
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#man i want doritos
#you just gotta suck it up
#diary
#personal
#mn. i like fell asleep for the last... probably 2 hours? idk man
#and i feel a bit better by now. but like. i really would prefer to not leave my room today.
#like. im just sorta worried shit will get worse again and ill feel like utter and complete shit.
#idk. like im not having a breakdown rn. but i just. am worried itll come back at the drop of a hat.
#like im fine alone with my noise cancelling headphones in a dark room
#but besides that? idfk.
#this is sorta why id rather be high or something. cuz now i gotta worry about after affects or other shit.
#idk. its been a while since its been this bad and tbh im just really tired. i wanna sleep.
#oh! funny fact. i had doritos and fritos stuck in my head during like. the last few hours.
#but i was sorta preoccupied so i didnt realize it??? so i was just thinking XD
#...i still do. man would it be too much to go get some? i rly wanna
#*sigh* i should probably like. go out. and do some work.
#but thats been sorta whats been worsening things (plus the heat). so like. im concerned?
#idk thats not fully the reason why. but it did not help. idk. i just know my mom will say something like
#or maybe not. its like a 50/50. sometimes shes sympathetic others shes not.
#idfk. like. im the type that if someone tells me i should be fine i will just. push through anything.
#like *yeah* i may be hitting myself but i got the work done like you asked? so whats the problem here?
#self harm
#idk. thats how i functioned in high school. punish myself to work ig. or to just take out the anguish.
#but *apperently* ur not *supposed* to do that either. so that just leaves me curling up in a ball somewhere.
#often times my closet? but my closet is full with random crap so i gotta clean it out ugh
#im not rly sure what the final straw was fully. i woke up at 5ish. and took off my headphones. and then within like 15 mins i was down.
#idk. i think maybe it was my fridge. but i was also super uncomfy for sleep. so who knows rly.
#haaah. i still have to do shit today and tomorrow. i dont wanna.
#haaaaaaaah wtf how do i figure out what i need to do. ffs.
#whats worse is if i talk to my mom or someone to help me figure it out ill probably snap at them
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