#mom I’m crying over fictional men again

[inupibaldspot]

JJK MANGA SPOILER

I think it finally REALLY hit me that Gojo is actually gone—like gone gone.

And the fact that Yuuta is now using his body, made me come to terms lose hope and now I’m crying (I had 2 hr of sleep for the past 3 days and shit ton of coffee too)

[ikuzeminna]

In my previous post I talked about the women of Gundam Wing not being treated as awards or reasons for man pain for the guys and I’m actually a little surprised that no one so far called me out on Meilan because at first glance, she falls right into that category. Because her death is specifically there to motivate Wufei and do nothing else. No one else knows about her, her death doesn’t affect anyone or anything else.

Except for her grandma who is apparently still so grief-stricken she blows up her entire colony. Thanks for more trauma, Master Long.

But I guess I’m gonna call myself out here then and derail this into a meta about Meilan’s portrayal actually being male-coded. Apparently I’m also gonna make up words while doing so lol

What do I mean? Let’s first clear up what I meant when I said the Wing women aren’t used for man pain. Man pain is quite an umbrella term that’s supposed to describe any instance of the narrative portraying a male’s emotional pain be of a higher magnitude than anyone else’s within his story. Especially women’s.

In my post I was referring to the very specific case where a woman’s suffering is stripped from her narratively and made exclusively a guy’s problem, to the point it only exists if it’s in relation to him. Think Gwen Stacy’s death affecting Spiderman or 2009‘s Spock’s mom dying or Aang burning Katara and then moping about never firebending again, necessitating her comforting him about his (accidental) assault on her. messed up doesn’t even begin to cover that last one The girl with the puppy is actually an example of this in Wing because her death only exists to make Heero feel bad. She isn't even given a name. The most classic example really is a guy’s mom dying though and him being forever sad about it. It’s the easy way for the writer to give his manly man something to cry over without making him a wimp. Otherwise Kira from Gundam Seed would be more popular.

But when we get asked to name a famous fictional death, I think most people will pick Mufasa, the prime example ever of a death affecting the audience. And it makes sense. Because not only was Mufasa a good parent, who sacrificed his life to save his son, Simba’s entire hero’s journey is basically living up to his father’s example. It's what drives the story.

And that’s the difference between men and women dying in fiction, especially parents. If a mother dies, it’s something to be sad over (i.e. Spock). If a father dies, it’s a legacy to uphold (i.e. Kirk). Simba is never worried about living up to Sarabi’s expectations. Hiccup spends three movies trying not to shame his father. Katniss won’t shut up about what a great person her dad was even though her mom is right there, being the medic for her entire district, but never being worth emulating in any way.

The same goes if it’s just a friend. A female friend’s death is a devastating event, a male friend’s death is a call to not let his sacrifice be in vain.

Which brings us back to Meilan. Meilan may have been written as just a device to give Wufei a tragic backstory, which lands her squarely in man pain territory, but narratively she is the same category as Mufasa, influencing Wufei to the degree he changes his entire way of life to live up to her memory and hold himself accountable during the series when he fails to do so, which yanks her right out of it again.

Besides, Wufei never goes around openly mourning her death. It’s hidden in aggressiveness and weird sexism towards Noin and his odd reverence of his Gundam. I love that it was supposed to be a secret that would have been revealed at the middle of the series, just like everyone else’s backstories, had the schedule not been crazy, giving us the recap episodes instead. Alas...

But this is one of the reasons I love Gundam Wing so much. The colony leader Heero Yuy and the late King Peacecraft may be revered figures within its universe, but by the end of the series, and definitely by EW, the person the entire galaxy admires is Relena. A girl. Which is completely deserved for all the things she manages to pull off, mind you.

I love most that Heero admiring Relena also has a very personal aspect to it. He knows her. He knows how bullheaded she can be. She’s not an abstract to him, he’s intimately familiar with that Gundanium backbone of hers. That scene on Libra where they keep throwing compliments at each other is great. Relena tries to transfer her accomplishments to Heero, playing into narrative tradition of gender roles here where the guy always gets all the glory, no matter how competent the girl may have been (glaring at you here, Hiccup and Astrid >_>) and Heero, the show’s male protagonist, bounces it right back, telling her he is nothing compared to her, landing a sweet blow to narrative sexism.

Gundam Wing is a weird little show where I don’t know if one could call it feminist considering how every woman is assigned to a man, with Treize and Zechs and Duo and Wufei standing above their female counterparts due to their strength or lineage or because they’re the series’ Char clone, but within the roles it assigned to everyone, it does a wonderful job of not being sexist about them. Une is portrayed as more competent than Treize, who is more of an opportunist. Zechs outright says Noin is better than him. Wufei won’t shut up about Nataku and what a failure he is. It's like the show apologizes for being Gundam and made in the 90s, explaining why the pilots and big bads all have to be male, but they'll make the female characters as cool as they can to make up for it. Here, have some Sally and Noin being a badass duo or Relena and Dorothy carrying the philosophical debate during the Cinq arc.

....Except Hilde. I got nothing here because her and Duo are classic gender roles to a T, haha. But at least Duo is not being a jerk about it, which is more than can be said about most fictional guys trying to dictate a female’s actions. Duo lets Hilde make her own decisions.

[notstilinski]

Smosh Playing Dread Starters !

Taken from the Smosh Games' series, Smosh vs. Jenga! Some of these have already been edited. You can change them however you see fit! 

“God dies.”

“Get ready for a lot of incorrect 2000s references.”

“When you’re in water polo, you don’t kick your legs at all. It’s all arms.”

“Yeah, I’m picturing it. It’s… Awful.”

“Okay, so there’s some residue uh-oh tension from being bored.”

“I get the shits from Dairy Queen.”

“I’m crying, I’ve been here for fifteen minutes.”

“Even your spoiled asses can appreciate some, you know, a little bit of that freshness that you can’t get.”

“Gotta keep this ass fat, am I right?”

“I wonder who’s gonna die first.”

“(Name) is really mean when they’re hungry so I’m gonna get this.”

“You’re at your bravest in water.”

“Your pants are soaked in piss.”

“Barney, my pebbles!”

“I’m here. I went all this way.”

“I’m working on being more open about my feelings and, you know, I’m scared.”

“That’s the only idea I’ve heard and I’m down.”

“Is anybody a Taurus in this car? I feel like this a sign.”

“You’re right, you’re right. It’s because of me. I’m sorry.”

“Whoever gets the most stars gets to sleep with me at the end of the night.”

“Yeah. My father pays the commissioner so let’s call him!”

“All right, your cosmic wrong goes unpunished.”

“We don’t know he’s dead!”

“Before we get out, has anyone ever seen a dead body?”

“Where… Are you guys, are you guys with the military?”

“Do you need assistance? What happened?”

“Why are they bombing us? Why are they bombing us?!”

“Uh, we need to get the fuck out of here, (Name).”

“Not really an executive decision when we all agree.”

“Is this what mono is? I’ve only heard of mono.”

“It’s my emotional support bat.”

“Don’t feel bad, (Name). They were sick and disgusting.”

“It’s either ‘Halo’ or the return of Christ. It’s only one of those two things.”

“You’re gonna die from misogyny.”

“Ew! You’re old!”

“I may be a dickhead, but at least I’m not a misogynist, like (Name).”

“It’s not the apocalypse, this is just Seattle.”

“Those are some question that somebody whose about to rob you asks.”

“If you don’t want anyone else to get hurt, you shut the fuck up!”

“They drown in water, but thrive in blood!”

“I grab bag. I always grab bag.”

“If anything goes wrong, I’ll die.”

“Don’t look! Do you want me to come over and get you?”

“Okay, bitch, then do it now!”

“Yeah, we put glue on one of these just to fuck with ya’ll.”

“All right, once again, unpunished from your actions.”

“And I took that personally. And I’m really mad at it.”

“Okay, but you have to stop saying fucked up shit.”

“Were you sleeping with (Name)‘s dad?”

“I’m kind of mad at you guys. So, kind of, screw you guys!”

“It’s right next to the dick sucking factory. Your mom just clocked in.”

“Men are what destroyed this planet.”

“Am I bleeding? Is it that bad?”

“Run for your life, bitch.”

“But, you know, our hands are technically pretty clean here, you know what I mean? It’s an accident.”

“When you stare at the stars and pray to your God, ask them why."

“If we’re going to die, I want to blaze.”

“Would a heroic sacrifice be sick as fuck?”

“If I don’t have my looks then what the fuck am I going to do?”

“I am your God. I am an angel.”

“Okay, bitches, get in that shuttle. We’re taking it for ourselves.”

“Shoot me like Pulp Fiction style!”

“Leave it to me to save your asses one more time.”

[queenofbaws]

hello my friends, and congrats on making it to yet another wednesday. oh how the time simply flies, huh?

a quick status update over here: things are still pretty nuts with family stuff, so as i said over the weekend, if you've sent me a flash fiction prompt i haven't gotten to yet, i promise i haven't forgotten! <3 most of my energy's been going elsewhere lately, what can you do.

my big goals for the near future are still (1) to finish the tale(s) of the champion, (2) to finish of mummy men & bathtub soup, and (3) to get another chapter of like wringing blood from a stone out, but i've learned my lesson and will not be making guesses as to timeframes there, hehehehe. if you're looking for a sneak peek or two to tide you over in the meantime, i'm including snippets from tales, wringing, and a SECRET MYSTERY PROJECT under the cut.

as always, hope you're hanging in there, and hope you're taking care of yourself as best you can, whatever that looks like for you <333

the tale(s) of the champion

“I’m not proud of my time in Kirkwall, Inquisitor,” Cullen said sharply, an answer to an accusation she hadn’t raised. “All I did then, I did to fulfill the duty expected of me, but even so there are things I said, things I did, things…” The muscles of his jaw clenched and unclenched over his working throat. “…things allowed to happen under my watch, which I regret so thoroughly as to know they will follow me well into my grave. But the actions I’ve taken against Hawke and her cohort—ordered or otherwise? No.” A brisk shake of his head. “Those I do not regret in the slightest.”

It was times like these, times where the tension crackled like ozone before a storm, that made her worry for the whole of the Inquisition. For Thedas, really. There she was, meant to be their benevolent leader, even-tempered and understanding, and instead of backing away with arms raised to allow the situation to defuse, she ground her boot that much harder into the softer bits offered up to her, hoping to wring out as much blood as she could before the wound scabbed over.

It was times like these that she worried the Chantry was right, that she’d never be accepted as the voice of the people, as a protector and guide; maybe she’d always be who she’d been before the Conclave…no matter how brightly her armor shone.

“You make her sound like a monster.”

Cullen scoffed. “A criminal.”

“Is there a difference?”

like wringing blood from a stone

A branch snapped behind him.

And something let out a deep, growling breath.

Bobby didn’t whip himself around. Everybody else could say and think what they wanted, but he wasn’t any fucking moron—you didn’t make sudden moves when you were being tracked. Hunted. He knew that same as he knew his own name.

What he did instead was jam as much of his weight as he could against the door, grimacing with effort when his shoulder made contact. Inside, he heard Mom scream.

“Don’t you let him in here, Jed!”

“No one’s gettin’ in.”

“DON’T YOU LET HIM IN THIS GODDAMN HO—”

He didn’t wait to hear her finish the sentence. Nah, he hauled back and kicked the door with every ounce of force he could muster. But even though he did it the same way he’d seen Uncle Jack do a million times before, it didn’t budge.

Mom just screamed again.

The sound made his skin stand up, not like goosebumps or shivers, more like the hot, stinging welts you got from snapping a rubber band or touching poison oak. It was a sickish feeling, making his palms sweat and his vision double. He didn’t know if he wanted to puke, scream, dig his fingers into his own skin…or maybe just curl up there on the porch and cry until he couldn’t anymore. In the end, he split the difference.

SUPER SECRET MYSTERY PROJECT WOOoOoOoOoOO

Her breath hitched as she saw a sliver of moonlight ahead. Emily pushed away the horrible, impossible, image of Beth’s rotting face and surged forward the last few meters to the doors. She slid between them before slamming them shut, her hands chapping in the cold even as she yanked the latching bar down into place. The doors rocked under her palms, and the thing she’d locked inside shrieked in fury as obvious as it was alien. She could feel it beat against the doors with fists the size of her head, felt it fight to get to her, but no matter how the doors shook on their hinges, the latch held.

Her body slumped as her exhaustion caught up with her. A breath tore out of her in a shaking, ragged sob…or maybe it was a laugh. From where she stood, it was impossible to tell.

And then something grabbed her.

Too tired to fight, too tired to run, too tired to do so much as gasp in surprise, Emily found herself yanked away from the doors and around a bend, her point of view torn suddenly from the mine’s processing facility to the trees. That wasn’t the most worrying part, though.

That was the hand.

It came to her in pieces-parts, her panic growing with each revelation. First was the hand on her face, clutching her so tightly it hurt; it covered her mouth, it squished her nose, leaving her only one nostril to breathe from—not nearly enough for her to catch her breath. There was another hand too, its heel pressed hard to the spot below her ribs where her stomach began, the fingers gripping so hard she could feel them through her jacket. Her leather jacket. And the body…the body she registered last, solid and sinewy and pressed flush to her back. She could feel the rise and fall of the chest at her shoulder blades. There was hot breath displacing her hair.

When finally her brain put it all together, her hands snapped up to beat at the one covering her face, pulling and scratching—anything to get even a little more air into her lungs.  

It was the wrong thing to do. The hand only gripped her harder, tightening until the soft, fleshy insides of her cheeks ground into her teeth.

[kurtcobainsgreencardigan]

pauuuuuuuuu i’ve got a question. i understand that you enjoy supernatural, so could you explain to me the whole destial thing? i’m like, fairly close to caving and committing myself to 15 fucking seasons of them and dean from gilmore girls (who i fucking hate(the character not the actor)) so like, i wanna know what i’m getting myself into, cause the only stuff i know is the meme that’s always going around, and that everyone and their mother is obsessed with dean winchester

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD @weeping-in-the-willows WE'VE DONE IT!!!

okay andi here we go its gonna be LONG (thats what she said?)

Destiel is a ship between two main characters, Dean Winchester, who is a monster hunter, and Castiel, who is an angel of the lord. Although Cas does not appear until season 4(?), when he does it's clear there's something going on between the two men (boys?), and, whether or not it's intentional, there's a LOT of gay subtext. I think they suffer a lot but it's worth it for the very few moments they get to enjoy, and you value them so much more which makes it so enjoyable.

As for Sam Winchester (Dean Forester), he's a young man with daddy issues who never met his mom and decided that instead of having that horrible monster hunter life he wanted to go to Stanford and study law and have a great academically successful life (Sam and Rory Gilmore would be best friends). He's a sweet, kind, smart, driven, ambitious (and hot) 22(!) year-old who would never voluntarily hurt a fly. Obviously life had other plans for him but what happens to him is up to you. Now, I will say that I'm not the biggest mid-series seasons Sam fan, but I think early Sam was one of my first fictional crushes and I still think of him fondly. His favorite singer is secretly Celine Dion.

Dean Winchester also has daddy issues but as in yes-dad-I'll-do-everything-you-say-so-that-you-love me-while-his-dad-still-loves-sam-more daddy issues (which I know all too well not not the time nor place), whereas Sam was more like "No dad, this is YOUR dream". Dean is like that jackass who thinks he's this huge deal and he think he's really hot and smart and always right, which is infuriating because it's true. But really imagine a giant teddy bear with a flannel. that's Dean Winchester. It's a bit funny but for him the most important thing ever is his family and he will fight with all his might to save it, blood or found, he will die for them over and over again with no regrets, except that one where his daug we don't talk about that. He's also incredibly funny, he likes Frozen and dad rock and pie.

Cas is an angel who very often forgets that. Funny thing about this guy is that they first portray him as like this scary creature, he's the most powerful thing they've ever faced and he's so intimidating but once they get to know him he's really just like if an alien saw a hot guy and went "that one". He talks to cats sometimes.

About the show itself, the firsts seasons they think they're like this moody, serious show, but as it goes on it quickly turns into a comedy. They meet Scooby-Doo once. There's a musical. Doctor Sexy wears cowboy boots. Dracula. Ghostfacers!

Now, I wouldn't go as far as "recommending" it to someone, but if i could start clean and had the choice to watch it again for the first time, I'd tell them put me back in it, and I would cry and curse and suffer, but I'd go through it again.

And that is all, unless Willow wants to add something?

Also I would avoid the last episode, I would not watch it if I were you, I wish I never saw it and I pretend it doesn't exist, it is not canon if I say it is not and I refuse to recognize it as such. Thank you.

[kitwilsonsass]

it’s been eight years since mom tonight.

eight

that number feels absurd to me. probably in part because as much as things changed over the years, and as much as i’ve done and accomplished in that time, a lot is kind of the same right now as it was then. i’m in this house. i’m not currently working. dad’s dad. it’s fucking christmas, again.

in a way it still feels like yesterday. i still remember the taste of bad diner chicken wings and chocolate shake i knew would probably make me sick on the way home and how wrong it felt to just be *getting food.* i still have a picture of her in the bed i feel guilty for taking. i still wish i had one of my brother all the same.

and yet time has passed.

i still have dreams of her more often this time of year, where things seem normal but i’m always aware that it’s not. i always know i’m dreaming. and more often than not at some point it’s acknowledged that she’s somehow on borrowed time. it’s not sad, it’s just there. and i wake up, and i still remember her face, but i honestly don’t think i really remember her voice.

all you can really do is sit around and pretend that everyone else having a normal happy holiday season aren’t the biggest inconvenience to you in the world, because you don’t matter. not in a depressing ‘oh the grand scheme’ kind of way. just that the world didn’t stop for the pain then and it certainly doesn’t stop now. and you don’t want to make anyone feel bad for enjoying themselves and the time they have with people, because they deserve that. but it hurts and it sucks and i don’t think i’ll ever stop hating this time of year. or feeling more and more broken for still giving a damn as if grief and a boatload of ptsd isn’t a load of horseshit that just magically ceases to exist. as if it didn’t completely change my emotional response to everything all of the time.

it gets easier to ignore. but eventually it always catches up. the lights in the years, the inescapable music. the cards you don’t get as many of each year because you stopped sending them yourself - and you’re sure people think it’s shitty, or that old family acquaintances wonder if you’re even still around, but you don’t feel bad about it.

i don’t know where this is going.

i’m out of shit to wax poetically about.

other than i hope she wouldn’t be too disappointed in me for where i am right now. or for still crying over fictional men more than real ones, heh. at least her son no one ever thought would end up with anyone finally did, i guess.

anyway, i still have... this. and i’m gonna leave it here. in case i ever decide to burn it or something. but for now it sits on a shelf and probably still will for awhile.

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝐵𝑒𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑆𝑜𝑓𝑡 𝐹𝑜𝑟 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝐴𝑛𝑑 𝑌𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝐶ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑

Warning: Just one brief mention of kidnapping and being held hostage. Other than that, it's safe to proceed.

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

It felt like an eternity before someone opened the door and walked in.

Hongjoong took one look at you before widening his eyes. He looked back at one of men behind him and sighed.

"You had one job Hangyul and you couldn't even do it right?! This isn't the right person!"

Said Hangyul bowed his head and apologized profusely.

Hongjoong rubbed his temples in annoyance. He looked back at you and examined you closely. Even with your puffy hair, tear strained cheeks and messy hair, he thought you looked beautiful. The longer he looked at you, the more some weird feeling in his chest started to grow.

"What's your name?" He asked you.

You struggled to find your voice, but managed to utter out your name in a soft whisper.

It was almost like music to his ears.

"Well Y/N.....it seems we accidentally mistook you for someone else.....Ooops."

He really didn't know what to say to you. He felt bad that you were now standing before him, scared, trembling and no doubt hurt. Part of him told him to release you from your restraints, and hold you tenderly. Then one of his men reminded him:

"Hongjoong sir? Since we can't release a witness for security reasons, do you want us to get rid of her?"

Your head snapped up at the comment and you began desperately trying to break free.

"No please don't! I'm begging you! Have some mercy on me! Let me go and I swear I won't say anything to anybody!"

Hongjoong hesitated for a brief moment until your crying got louder and you said:

"I have a son! He's only 3 years old! I'm the only one he has! So please......." You begged, all the little strength you had left in your body began to slowly drain as you realized you might never see your son again.

That's all it took for Hongjoong to break.

"Release her."

The men looked shocked. "But sir-"

"I said release her. Now!" He commanded.

Instantly, all the ropes were cut and you were free. You tried to stand up, but you were so shaken up your legs gave out. Luckily, Hongjoong caught you in his arms and carried you away from there.

"I'm really sorry about this."

He ordered for his car and personally saw that you made it home safely. Even days afterwards, he still kept an eye on you and your son, whom he couldn't help but find adorable.

You noticed that someone was watching you when you suddenly started to receive strange packages that sometimes contained groceries, clothes or even toys. You wondered who could be sending these things.

Your question was answered when you took your son to the park. Hongjoong tried his best to stay hidden but you quickly found him. He stood there looking awkwardly at you.

"It was you wasn't it?" You asked him.

"Yeah....." He replied shyly. Seriously, he was one of the top mafia bosses. Why was a single mom like you making him nervous like a schoolboy?

"Mommy!" Your son ran up to you.

You picked him up and your son just stared at Hongjoong. He leaned into your ear and asked you who he was.

You smiled at him. "Oh him? He's just an old friend."

Your son looked back at Hongjoong, somewhat afraid of him. But Hongjoong just gave him the warmest smile he could.

"Hey there little buddy. You don't have to be scared of me."

Hongjoong knew it would take time, but he also knew that in the end, he'd be part of your life and of your son's.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪 ﾟ･:*✿

You don't know whether you were grateful or you regretted ever accepting to work at the bar Seonghwa owned. You couldn't complain about the pay, it was more than good and although you knew Seonghwa was sketchy af, you never felt unsafe as he always made sure you were protected and no one harassed you.

However you knew Seonghwa had the hots for you, everyone knew it actually. At first, they thought he just wanted to get in your pants, that's what he usually did with any hot female that worked for him. But time passed and everyone now knew that he was head over heels for you. Boy was like a love sick puppy for you. It was quite entertaining to watch actually.

No one resented you for it or even tried to bother you. You were constantly turning him down and keeping a strictly professional relationship with your boss. If he offered you any gifts, you rejected them. If he offered the schedule everyone fought for, you turned it down and accepted the shittiest shift. Seonghwa never gave up though. He wanted you and he'd get you no matter what.

"You've gone soft." His best friend, Hongjoong told him one day.

"No I haven't." Seonghwa refuted that statement.

Right then, the phone rang. Hongjoong picked it up.

"Hello? Oh hi...... Oh really? Ok. I'll let him know. Don't worry. Hope you feel better. Bye."

Hongjoong hung up and continued his task of polishing his gun.

"Well?" Seonghwa asked rather annoyed.

"Oh it's nothing. Just Y/N calling in sick. She won't be coming." Hongjoong stated as if it was the most normal of in the world.

Seonghwa, however, was panicking.

"Y/N?! Sick?! What do you mean sick?! She's never sick! She never calls in! What if something happened to her?! I need to see her!"

Grabbing his jacket, he ran out the room, leaving Hongjoong dumbfounded.

"Ok. But you're not soft huh?"

Seonghwa sped over to your house, bag full of medicines and other things he deemed necessary in his arms. He frantically knocked on what he hoped really was your door, he had never been to your house.

"What?!" You shouted when you swung the door open.

"I came cause Hongjoong said- Wait! You look fine." Seonghwa noticed you didn't look unwell as he scanned your body.

"If this is another stupid attempt to hit on me, I will slam my door on your hand. I don't care if one of your men end up cutting off one of my fingers." You warned him.

"You said you were sick!" Seonghwa exclaimed.

"No. I called in a sick leave because-"

You were interrupted by a soft 'Mommy' from behind you. You turned to see your 2 year old daughter standing there, blanket wrapped around her tiny and frail body.

"Sweetie. I told you not to get out of bed. Your cold will get worse."

You completely forgot about Seonghwa and proceeded to attend your daughter, who was the reason why you called in sick. Seonghwa was shocked at finding out you had a kid. But it wasn't a bad surprise. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He didn't even realize that he ended up walking into your apartment and watched as you tucked your daughter in the couch, helping her blow her nose.

If people thought he was whipped before, now he was fucking wrapped around your finger. He adored kids, and this revelation just made you even more perfect in his eyes. Now he was more than determined to make you his.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

With Yunho, you actually didn't take long to start dating. He was so caring and attentive to you. You remember when you told him on a date that you had a child. You felt it was necessary to let him know before your relationship got more serious.

"A kid?" He repeated.

"Yes..... I have a son..." Your voice trailed off.

Your head already started imagining the worst and most common scenario: he'd be all sweet but say he's not ready for that responsibility and dump you like all the others. It happened every single time. It didn't turn out to be the case though.

"Really? How old is he? Do you have a picture? When can I meet him? Does he know about me?"

Yunho was ecstatic to find this out and he was very interested in anything that had to do with you. Besides........ you weren't the only one keeping secrets. He hadn't exactly told you what his job really was. Just like you, he was afraid of you leaving him when you found out his connections to the criminal world. Which is why he kept it hidden for a long time.

But he did tell you one day. He came clean about it.

"I know I should have told you earlier, especially now that I'm a part of your and your son's life.... but I was scared...... I love you but I understand if you'd rather not see me anymore."

Maybe you were crazy, maybe you were too much in love, but you assured him you wouldn't leave him. You only voiced concern about your son's safety. You didn't want anything to happen to him.

"I swear on my life, nothing will ever happen to him or to you. I promise to keep you both safe."

It was a promise he always kept. He became a constant in your life, and he was always making sure to spend time with your son, spoiling him to no end. You remember when he threw a birthday party for him at his mansion. It was small and not a lot of people could come because he couldn't risk having strangers over, but you all had a great time.

That's where you met his other friends, who were very curious to meet the woman and the kid who made Yunho into a hyperactive puppy.

"I'm serious, I've never in my life seen him be like this." Mingi pointed out as they watched Yunho play with your son.

"Really? Since I met him, he's always been like that." You were surprised to find out from his friends what he used to be like.

"Then you must really be a special lady. Congratulations. You turned a criminal into a total dad."

You blushed at Seonghwa's comment.

"He's not a dad...." You cleared your throat.

Seonghwa turned to you and smirked.

"Not yet.....but trust me. Very soon it might be official."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰 ﾟ･:*✿

Yeosang and you didn't have the greatest of start in the relationship. Both of your parents were mafia bosses and so you were both forced into a contractual marriage that neither of you wanted.

"Look. How about we just carry on our lives as if nothing happened?" You suggested.

"Agreed." Yeosang nodded.

Years passed and eventually Yeosang took over the family business, working alongside your brother Wooyoung, who took over for your father. Because Yeosang spent so much time with your brother, you ended up spending so much time togethers.

Soon you both stopped avoiding each other company and actually became close friends. Or you thought you would just be friends, until one day Yeosang couldn't help himself and just kissed you.

"What was that for?" You try not to look too happy about it though.

"What? Is it a crime for me to kiss my wife?" He winked at you.

Gradually, you fell in love and completely forgot that this was a contractual marriage. It became a real marriage for you both. Yeosang doted on you and was such a devoted husband. And he was so ecstatic when he found himself you were pregnant with your first child. He immediately made preparations and began decorating one of the rooms, choosing gender neutral colors like green and yellow.

He was over the moon when you gave birth. He cried so much when he held your precious bundle of joy in his arms for the first time. He was so overwhelmed with emotions. Leaning down, he kisses your forehead tenderly. He was so grateful to have you and your daughter.

You two became his whole world, and his friends teased him to no end about it. After all, how did the cold mafia Prince turned into such a warm family man?

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷 ﾟ･:*✿

Your relationship with San was very blissful and passionate. It definitely started with a lot of passion. You two met at a club and randomly hooked up. You thought he'd be just a one night stand, not that you cared. You weren't particularly looking for a relationship. But he was hooked on you and so he sought you out, properly asking you out on a date.

You quickly found out that he wasn't just the kinky lover in the sheets. He was a total cutie and a cuddle bug. That ended up sealing the deal for you and you completely fell in love with him.

Things definitely moved fast in the relationship. 4 months in and he asked you to move in with him. You thought it was strange, but were so in love with him that you agreed. You didn't know it was because he wanted to make sure you were safe in case any rivals tried to hurt you. And he made sure not to let you find out what and who he really was.

After a year, you two welcomed a baby boy into your lives. You spent the first months like all new parents: full of happiness and joy over your new baby. San was already making plans for his boy, imagining him taking taekwondo just like he did and excelling at all things that had physical involvement. Everything seemed to be going fine......

Until one day you found out who he really was. Your heart shattered at this new piece of information.

Had he lied to me? Is all of this a lie?

One thing was for sure, you panicked when you thought about your son and his safety. Without thinking, you began packing a suitcase, taking only the necessary things for him and you. You didn't know where you'd go, but your mind told you to leave.

"Baby? What-what are you doing?"

You turned to see San standing at the door, confused as to why you were packing.

"I know. I know everything."

His heart dropped at your words. So you finally found out. It clicked to him what you were up to.

"And so you're leaving me?" He couldn't believe it.

"I have to! How could I stay with you knowing our son could be in danger because of you?!"

San marched up to you and pulled you against him, holding onto you for dear life.

"Baby please listen to me! I lied to you, I know and I'm sorry! But I honestly do love you, I love you and our son so much, you two are my everything! You can't leave me! Please don't walk away from me and don't take him away from me! I'm sorry! But I promise I'll take care of you both."

He sanked down to his knees and held you by your waist, his tears staining your shirt. When it came to you and your son, he was no longer the strong confident mafia boss. You were his ultimate weakness.

"Please don't go..... please say you still love me...."

Your heart clenched. Even though finding this out tore you apart, you still loved him. You'd never stop loving him.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲 ﾟ･:*✿

At the beginning, you didn't want to be with him. You knew who he was and what he was capable of. You were practically forced to date him, scared shitless thinking about what he'd do to you if you refused him. He really did try to show you that he wasn't the ruthless and violent mafia boss the media played him out to be.

"Why do you look so uncomfortable? Don't you like the food?" He asked you.

"The food is great, it's just you know, not every girl wants to have a dozen men in suits standing around with guns in their pockets while on a first date." There was a hint of bitterness and sarcasm in your tone.

Mingi pouted. "It's for protection purposes."

If someone had told you the most feared mafia boss in all of Seoul was actually a clumsy, soft baby, you would never have believed them. But indeed, that's the side of Mingi you ended up uncovering. Sure it still terrified you when his rage was released, but never was it directed to you.

Finally after years of asking and asking, you accepted his marriage proposal and he was the happiest man alive. No happiness could compare. That's what he thought until the day you gifted him with a precious angel. She instantly became daddy's girl and nothing could change that. It was quite funny actually.

Like one time when he was having a meeting with his other mafia friends. Things got very heated and Mingi was about to blow up. Until a tiny head peeked in.

"Daddy!" Your daughter ran over to him, while you failed to try and catch her.

Mingi completely forgot what they were talking about and he picked her up.

"Hi princess! How are you? Did you miss your daddy?" He cooed at her.

Snickers were heard from his friends.

"Who would have thought?" "The Song Mingi has been tamed" "And by a child nonetheless"

Mingi threw a glare over at his friends.

"I can still order your heads on a platter you know." He threatened them.

"Mingi." You warned him, gesturing to your daughter.

"Sorry." He mouthed, remembering not to say such things in front of your daughter.

That's when his friends totally lost it.

"I told you San! Y/N is the one who really wears the pants in the relationship."

✿*:･ﾟ𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰ﾟ･:*✿

Were you furious that your father practically sold you into a marriage with his mafia friend's son? Yes. Was Wooyoung pissed off at having a wife thrown at him? Nope, not at all. He fell in love with you at first sight.

"Hi! I'm Jung Wooyoung, your soon to be husband and I can tell we're going to be really happy together!" He was practically beaming with joy.

"Hi, I'm L/N Y/N, the girl that's going to be caged to you for life......or death. Whichever comes first." You responded.

Wooyoung actually laughed at that, but you were serious. What if one day his mafia ass gets tired of you and he just decides to put a bullet in your head? You secretly hoped he did that before you were bound to him for life.

But 5 years later and you're still married. He's just as much in love with you as the first day he met you. You learned to love him, or as you often said to tease him: you learned to put up with him.

"Deny it all you want, but I know you love me just as much as I love you."

When he found out you were pregnant, he became even more clingy with you. Always making sure you were ok, going to everyone of the doctor's appointments, and constantly talking to your growing baby bump. The baby wasn't due for another 4 months and he was already wrapped around their finger.

"I can eat by myself Wooyoung." You reminded him as you tried to take the bowl from him.

"Let me baby you, ok!? I want my queen to be treated like one and I want to make sure my little princess will be ok." He stated.

You chuckled at how he kept insisting it was a girl.

"What if it turns out to be a boy?" You cocked your head to the side.

"It's a girl! She will be a precious bundle of pink glittery joy that I will love and cherish for as long as I live!" He really wanted a girl.

You rolled your eyes every time and you were desperately hoping that the ultrasound you were scheduled to get would reveal it was a boy. You really wanted to wipe the grin off his face. That and you wanted a mommy's boy yourself.

"So tell us doctor. It's definitely a girl right?" Wooyoung asked as he held your hand tightly.

"Actually......you're carrying a very healthy baby boy. Congratulations."

Wooyoung's hand dropped yours and he stood there stunned. You couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. For goodness sakes, he had already had the nursery painted pink.

"Ok, now that you've been proven wrong, hand me that catalog. I'm deciding how we're decorating my son's nursery." You told him when you got back home.

"Uh.... it's our son! If I remember correctly, it takes 2 to make a baby. And please no sport related decorations! Get something more original! Ooh! I saw some really cute marine animals design that..."

You just smirked at him as he turned the pages of the magazine. He was still whipped.

✿*:･ﾟ𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸 ﾟ･:*✿

When you applied for the secretary job, you didn't think anything was sketchy about it. But you were wrong and instantly you were dragged into Jongho's mafia world. And you knew that now there was no way out. You knew too much and the only way you would ever walk out of there would be in a coffin.

That's what you thought, but honestly, Jongho liked you so much that if you wanted to, he'd dismiss you if you wanted it. But he didn't want you to go. He was too hooked on you to let you go. He liked how different you were from other women. You were so mature, and he liked your 'I don't give a fuck' attitude you exuded at times. He also loved to play around with you, even if he was the one doing most of the pulling while you were doing a lot of pushing.

"Sooner or later you will be mine doll." He often told you.

"Go find some other girl to play around with Jongho. I'm a little too old to be anyone's toy." You always responded with things that if it were anyone else, it'd get their head blown off.

You tried to keep your personal life as secret as possible from him. Your deepest fear was of Jongho finding out about your daughter, your only joy in life. You were afraid he'd use her against you........... that's what you tried to tell yourself. But really, you were afraid that if he found out, he'd lose interest in you. You couldn't deny he was attractive. But what kind of man would involve himself with a woman that already had a kid? Especially someone as young and powerful like Jongho?

But one day, you had no choice but to bring her along to work with you, since no babysitter was available. You thought you'd be all right. Jongho wasn't supposed to be there and you only had to pick up some papers. Luck wasn't on your side that day though. While you were rummaging around your desk, the devil himself walked into the office.

"Ah Y/N. Good thing I caught you. I need you to see if I got- who and what is that?"

He immediately pointed at your daughter, who was currently holding onto your leg, her other hand holding her bunny plushie. The color drained from your face, but you took a deep breath and gathered your courage.

"Jongho, this is my daughter, [insert name here]. Sweetheart, this is Jongho. He's the man I work for." You smiled down at her.

You didn't even want to look back at Jongho, afraid to see his expression. You were startled though when he came closer to you and bent down so he was eye level with your daughter.

"Hi there princess. What you got there? Do you like bunnies?"

Your daughter took an instant liking to him as she began explaining in her 2 year old language who her plushie was. And Jongho only played along, completely enchanted by such a cute and innocent baby.

"Ok that's enough sweetheart. I'm sure Jongho has some other things to attend to and we have to go."

Picking her up, you bid goodbye to Jongho, who held the door open for you. He grabbed your free arm though and whispered in your ear before you left:

"If you think this changes anything doll, you're completely wrong. I still want you and I still stand my ground that you'll be mine......."

He pulled back and smiled at you.

"Your daughter is very charming as well. You should bring her over more often."

He winked at you as you made your way out.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[dangerousstrawberryshark]

I Can Do Anything I Want

Requested from no one.

Tom Holland x Male Reader

(Tom be looking sexy)

Warning: Violence, kidnapping, psychotic Tom, mention of nudity, all character are above the age of 18

Background: March 21st, 2030, 7:00 PM, you were getting ready to bunker down with your mom and dad. You hoped that nothing would happen tonight but someone decided to come in and give you a visit.

Tom is 20 and you are 18

M/n: Male name.

L/n: Last name.

F/n: Friend's name

Word count: 2900

I hope you enjoy it!! Sorry if it is bad! And there are probably many mistakes and grammar errors. 

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DISCLAIMER: I MEAN NO OFFENSE, DISRESPECT, OR HARM TO ANY OF THESE CELEBRITIES! THIS IS JUST FICTION.

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MINORS DNI. FEMALE READERS… I’LL ALLOW YOU TO READ MY FICS BUT DO NOT FETISHIZE ANY OF MY STORIES

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You were sitting on the couch with your mom sitting on the left side, and your father on your right side. You were waiting for the announcement to come on. ‘It's almost 7:00 PM…” you thought to yourself. The holiday you hated the most was about to begin.

Just then the emergency broadcast came on with that ear-shattering sound. And the screen on the TV turns blue with the symbol of the NFFA in the background.

“This is not a test.”

“This is your emergency broadcast system announcing the commencement of the Annual Purge sanctioned by the U.S. Government.”

“Weapons of class 4 and lower have been authorized for use during the Purge. All other weapons are restricted.”

“Government officials of ranking 10 have been granted immunity from the Purge and shall not be harmed.”

“Commencing at the siren, any and all crime, including murder, will be legal for 12 continuous hours.”

“Police, fire, and emergency medical services will be unavailable until tomorrow morning at 7 AM when the Purge concludes.”

“Blessed be our New Founding Fathers and America, a nation reborn.”

"May God be with you all.”

Then the air horn sirens blared meaning the Purge officially began. Your family has already set up defenses. You, of course, never participate. Your family put out blue flowers to show that they don’t want to participate but they support the purge.

You know your parents, they didn’t support this “holiday” at all. Come on now, 12 hours without any laws. Your parents spoke out against it.

Some (well most) Americans find the Purge to be successful. Unemployment rates plummeted down to 1 percent, crime rates decreased, and the economy was revived.

If you are wondering how this came into reality, it all started back in 2014.

(little history of how the Purge became a tradition in American society.)

In 2014, the United States was facing economic collapse, rising social unrest, and multiple wars. The economic collapse was worse than the Mortgage Crisis of 2008. Neighborhoods across the country were destroyed by an opioid epidemic.

Then a party was founded as a substitute for the Republicans and Democrats, they called themselves the New Founding Fathers of America or NFFA.

In 2016, the first experimental Purge took place and it proved to be successful. Then in 2017, the second experimental Purge began this time it was Nationwide.

Not long after that, the 28th amendment to the US constitution was ratified meaning that Purging is now an American right.

The Purge starts on March 21st at 7:00 PM and it ends at sunrise, March 22nd, 7:00 AM. all crime is legal for 12 hours, no killing high government officials, and don’t use explosives or bioweapons. Those who don’t follow the rules will be hanged.

This resulted in crime and unemployment rates dropping down 1 percent, government spending down 37 percent, and the GDP soared to 37.21 trillion dollars.

Still, many people disagreed with this because it was believed that the Purge was used as means of population control, and to decrease the poor population but they couldn’t do anything about it.

(little history lesson over. I just wanna include that part for those who have never seen the purge.)

We got off the couch and went to go do our own things. “Sweetie do wanna eat dinner?” my mom said, I smiled. “Yes please.” she smiled at me and went to go cook dinner. You went upstairs to chill in your room. Your window was boarded up but you could easily remove it when things go down.

————————————————————————————

Time skip (8:00 PM)

————————————————————————————

It's been one hour since commencement. You were up in your room just watching YouTube videos. Your mother was downstairs cooking Lasagna (or whatever your favorite dish is) your father was downstairs watching the news.

The news would keep up with things happening tonight. Were watching a live stream showing what was happening on the outside. Building on fire, people killing each other, and parties. All of this was caught on drones.

You would hear the occasional screams and gunfire in the area but you and your family were secure.

Then you heard banging on the front door. The door and windows were boarded up with wood planks. ‘Who is that?’ you thought, you were worried it was one of your bullies who decided tonight was the night they get to get rid of you.

You went downstairs to see your parents. They had fear in their eyes, then the door busted one. Three men wearing tuxedos with masks on walked in. then they pulled out their guns, that’s when you dashed and went up into your room.

Your parents tried to run but they were quickly gunned down. You could hear gunshots go off and their screams filled the house.

You locked your bedroom door and ran to the window to remove the wood plank blocking it. You could hear the footsteps coming up the stairs. One of them called out to you, “M/n⁓ where are you⁓? Come out from hiding… are you in your room?”

You recognized that deep British accent, it was Tom! Tom Holland from your class! ‘What did I do to him? I never did anything wrong to him!’ but that didn’t stop you from removing the plank. You jumped out the window and ran for it.

Tom busted through your door to see that you have escaped. He gritted his teeth and went downstairs to see his twin brothers sitting down on the couch with their masks off.

“So he got away?” the older twin said. “Yeah, he did. We’ll find him though. He isn’t stupid enough to go downtown. He’ll probably head to his friend's house.” Tom said a little anger that his precious lover had gone away.

“We already took care of his friends. But we couldn’t get to one of them.” The younger twin said, Tom nodded and went out to go find you.

(Btw Tom's parents live in the UK and they don’t know what he is doing. Tom’s brothers are just helping him catch you)

————————————————————————————

Time skip (9:00 PM)

————————————————————————————

You were running to your friend's house hoping they would help you. You had to be careful while running through the streets, there were purgers everywhere. The city of Los Angeles was crawling with them, especially in the downtown area.

Thankfully you took your phone with you to see what time it was. ‘9:00 PM.’ you turned off your but you made sure it was on silent mode so it wouldn't bring attention to you.

You had a little encounter with Purgers but they were quickly gunned down by a machine gun attached to the back of a car. You saw vehicles on fire, dead bodies, and an old lady just watching a body burn.

‘This is all crazy!’ you thought as you ran faster just to get off the streets but what you didn’t was that someone was following you.

After running for 30 minutes you finally arrived at one of your friend’s houses. You didn’t realize that their barricades were broken until you twisted the knob on the door.

You walked in to see the whole place trashed. You walked through the rooms to see F/N parents dead, lying on the floor. Their eyes were open, you see nothing in them. “Please don’t be dead…” you said putting your hand over your mouth as you tried not to cry out loud.

You slowly walked up the stairs and approached F/N’s room. There you saw it, F/N lying on the floor dead as well. You burst out crying but that ended when you heard a car pull up.

“Find him!” you knew who that was immediate. You couldn’t run anywhere because they were downstairs, and the window had steel as a barricade. So, you hid in F/n’s closet.

You knew they had a pile of clothing in the corner, so you buried yourself in their clothes. You heard their footsteps walking up the stairs, and them breaking down the door. Then you heard them in the room.

You could see a figure walking through a small hole in the clothing pile. You covered your mouth so you wouldn’t breathe too hard. “CLEAR!” the figure yelled and went back downstairs. You heard their conversation from downstairs because of how the walls were thin.

“I thought he would be here!” Tom yelled, and out of anger shots one of his own men. The twins and the other weren’t fazed by this. They knew Tom had a few screws loose.

Then you heard them leave but you didn’t believe they actually left so you decided to stay where you were for the 2 to 3 hours.

————————————————————————————

Time skip (3:00 AM)

————————————————————————————

While waiting you accidentally fell asleep (why? because of plot purposes and I'm the author)and you realized that it was 3:00 AM, 4 hours till the Purge ends. You thought you could stay here but then you smelt something burning.

You got out of the pile to see the room was on fire. ‘What?! How?’ you quickly got and ran before the roof caved in on you. The backdoor was barricaded but due to the fire, it melted the steel allowing you to escape. (is that possible?)

You were on the run again but before you left, you noticed a group of people watching the house burn. ‘Are those my teachers?’ The group was your teachers from different classes. You knew they didn’t like F/N at all.

‘What has this country become?’ if this keeps happening, if more innocent people keep dying, then the nation will become the “Nation of Murders.” you decided to ignore them and run.

But one of them saw you, “M/n? Is that you?” one of them yelled. You froze, ‘how did they--?’ you turned around to see them walking towards you. “Hey don't worry we ain’t kill you. You are our favorite student!”

You looked at them shocked. “Why are you out here? Aren’t you supposed to be with your parents?” you looked down and began to cry. They noticed and said they didn’t need to know.

“Do you wanna come with us? There’s a neighborhood block party.” you nodded and decided to go with them. ‘So I guess they kill the kids they hate.’ they then took you to one of the nearby parties.

But one of Tom’s men noticed and decided to alert the big boss.

(just to be clear, in the Purge series there isn’t a legal purge. Meaning that you can kill someone who is 18 or younger. Now that’s fucked up.)

You and the teachers arrived at the block party. You see everyone partying, some had creepy masks, and others were naked grinding against each other. You lost your teachers in the crowd so you decided to just hideout.

————————————————————————————

Time skip (6:00 AM, one hour till the Purge ends.)

————————————————————————————

(if you are wondering why Tom didn’t show up early, it's because he was busy doing something else….. Or maybe its because I was too lazy to put anything during that time skip)

You checked your phone and noticed it was 6:00 AM. ‘One more hour!’ you smiled as the night was finally coming to an end. The sun was rising in the distance but people were still partying. ‘I survived the night.’

You even began to party yourself in celebration of surviving. You had a couple of drinks but not enough to be completely drunk. You danced with some people. Overall you were having a good time

But that happiness was short-lived when the gunfire began to go off. People were screaming and tripping over each other as they tried to run away. You already knew who it was. Tom fucking Holland and his group arrived

He noticed you in the crowd and smirked as he can finally have you before the Purge ended. You ran away from the crowd to one of those large garbage containers. You hid behind them hoping Tom won’t find you.

You could still hear the screams of people and more gunfire further down the street. You creeped out from your hiding place and walked back to the street.

You were horrified by what you were seeing. Dead bodies everywhere, your teacher’s dead bodies, and some people you were dancing with. All dead.

Then you heard footsteps behind you, you turned around to see Tom there smiling sadistically at you. You admit he was kind of hot but that doesn’t matter right now. “Why are you doing this? I never did anything to you! And did you find me?! ”

(6:55 AM)

“Why’m I doing this? Well, it's because of M/n…… I love you M/n! You never did anything wrong. And how did I find you? Well, remember there's an app where you can track down certain people’s phones? Well, that’s how I found you, that and one of my men told me.” Tom sounded proud of what he just said.

(6:57 AM)

“I thought I could use this Purge night as a way to finally have you to myself! I hope you share the same feeling like me.” you couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Tom…. look, you’re a cute guy, hell I would probably have dated if you just came up to me like a normal person would. But no, you went ahead and killed everyone. You killed my family and friends, and you think I share the same feeling like you! No!” you yelled the tension was thick and Tom was angry.

(6:59 AM)

“I loved you! And they were getting in the way!--” Tom took a pause, “If I can’t have then no one will!” Tom charged at you with his knife. ‘What happened to his gun?’

But you quickly snapped out when he charged at you. You dodged his attack but he stabbed you in the arm. He was about to finish when…

(7:00 AM)

*INSERT SIREN NOISE*

The siren went off meaning the Purge had come to an end. Tom was still going to attack but was stopped when a voice came on, “Stop what you are doing! I repeat stop what you are doing! The Purge has concluded. If anyone does a crime, you will face the consequences.”

Tom stopped what he was doing and looked at you, “Next Purge, I’m going to get you.” Tom then got into his car and drove off.

You felt like you were going to faint from blood loss but then someone drove up to you. “Hey, okay?! Oh my God, we need to get you to the hospital!” they picked you up and carried you into the backseat, and drove you to the nearest hospital.

The radio was on and began to report on tonight’s events. “Just after 7:00 AM, March 22nd Pacific Standard, the Annual Purge was concluded. Reports are coming from all over the nation that this was the most participated Purge yet….

364 days until the next Purge...

THE GOOD ENDING

Bad Ending.

Time skip (6:00 AM, one hour till the Purge ends.)

You checked your phone and noticed it was 6:00 AM. ‘One more hour!’ you smiled as the night was finally coming to an end. The sun was rising in the distance but people were still partying. ‘I survived the night.’

You even began to party yourself in celebration of surviving. Yo had a couple of drinks but not enough to be completely drunk. You danced with some people. Overall you were having a good time

But that happiness was short-lived when the gunfire began to go off. People were screaming and tripping over each other as they tried to run away. You already knew who it was. Tom fucking Holland and his group arrived

He noticed you in the crowd and smirked as he can finally have you before the Purge ended. You ran away from the crowd to one of those large garbage containers. You hid behind them hoping Tom won’t find you.

You could still hear the screams of people and more gunfire further down the street. You creeped out from your hiding place and walked back to the street.

You were horrified by what you were seeing. Dead bodies everywhere, your teacher’s dead bodies, and some people you were dancing with. All dead.

Just then you felt something being injected into your neck. You passed out but before you completely passed out, you got a glimpse of who it was…. It was Tom.

“You're finally mine M/n. I’ll keep you forever…. No one will take us apart….”

PART TWO CAN BE FOUND HERE

[justvibewith]

Surprise Visit

Summary: You are a nursing student who just survive a hell week and you missed your husband, Wonwoo who is a doctor at a hospital in another state. Why not surprise him with a visit? Definitely a surprise visit that contains a whole drama.

Genre: fluff, a bit of suggestive (?), angst (more like a verbal fight tho)

Characters: Doctor Wonwoo x Female OC

Word Count: 3052

A/N: Hi! I’m a new writer and I only write for Seventeen atm. The name is Angel or you can call me Ella. English is my second language, so hopefully explain why writing is so bad. I used to write before but I had a writing block for over 3-4 years. Recently, I’m trying to train myself to write again. So I hope that all of you could give me some feedback or might challenge me to write some stories~ All of things happen on the story are fiction and some are real life experience. Enjoy!

"Finally, the hell week is over '' Hana lay her head down on the table. It was called hell week for a reason since the students had to take their final exam while also completing their practicals at the hospital. This is the week where a lot of students stay up, cry and stress together. Hana was also one of the students that pulled an all-nighter. To make it worse, she was not feeling herself. For a positive ball of energy like her, it’s unusual for that to happen.`I'm craving drinks, man. I wanna get drunk.." Siyeon said as she sat next to Hana with her iced americano. "Should we? Hana, you wanna go out tonight?" Jinjoo looked excited as she poked Hana. "I'm tired.." Hana mumbled from her arm. "That is why we should go out.." Jinjoo pouted as she tried to persuade her best friend. Hana sits up and drinks her iced tea in a daze. "Earth down to you, Hana. Are you good?" Jinjoo squeezed her friend's hand. "It must be about your husband, is it?" Siyeon guessed correctly which made Hana pouted. She looked at her sparkling wedding band on her ring finger. Jeon Wonwoo is Hana's husband and also a neurosurgeon at Seoul University Hospital. But currently, both of them are in a long-distance relationship since they are working and studying in different states. "How did you know?" Hana questioned, making Siyeon snicker. "It is so obvious, woman.." Hana pouted as she twirls the ring on her finger. Jinjoo looked at her best friend with a beaming smile. "How about you go and visit him? You know, give him a cute surprise~" Immediately, Hana's eyes lit up at the idea. “I mean, we already started our break. It doesn’t hurt for you to spend your time with your husband,” Siyeon encouraged her friend with a smile.

Hana was preparing her luggage when her phone rang. It is Wonwoo, who face-timed her. Hana scrambled, panicked before jumping on the bed to make it look like she did nothing. "Hi, baby. How are you?" Wonwoo's deep and gentle voice soothes Hana. She could make out that Wonwoo was also having a busy day judging by the tired smile on his face. Not only that, he was still wearing his white coat and his black thin-rimmed glasses subtly covered his dark eye bags. "Survived hell week. How are you? I missed you so much.." Hana beamed at the screen. "Miss you too, honey. Well, I had a few surgeries and I am also on call tonight, which is not fun. Have you eaten yet?" Hana nodded. "I did.. Take a quick nap okay? you look so tired, babe. Take care of your health too, if you are sick, how are you gonna take care of your patient?" Hana nagged her husband. "Yes, I understand, Mrs Jeon." He giggled. "I missed you so much.." Hana spoke softly. "Come here then.." Wonwoo grinned as he stretched. "Oh, I will. Just wait~" He laughed at her cute face scrunched.

"Who did you call?" Wonwoo turned to look at his fellow surgeon, Kwon Soon Young who pushed the door open. He came in with a cup of ramen with Jihoon, tagging along behind him. "My wife.." Wonwoo stood up and took a seat near the men as Jihoon put his ramen on the table. "You are married?" Sooyoung shouted. He was so shocked. He can’t believe this cold and stoic-looking man is already married. Soonyoung’s mind is revving to spill the tea about Wonwoo’s secret marriage to Seungkwan and Seokmin, the friendly nurses that he is close with. "It's obvious. He didn’t even hide that he is married. He even has his wife's picture in his locker and on his phone lock screen.Oh, I've met her once too," Jihoon said as he slurped the noodles. "Wait, am I the only person who didn't know? Can I meet her? Please?" Wonwoo sighed at his friend's persistence.

Wonwoo was finishing his round when he approached the nurses and doctors that he’s close with. "The infamous Jeon Wonwoo. Come and join us.." Yoon Jeonghan, the pediatric doctor called him. "We are talking about going out for dinner together tonight. I know your shift is gonna end today, so join us." Another pediatric doctor, Mingyu, excitedly urged him. "Mrs Jung, do you seriously agree with these nasty boys?" Wonwoo turned and asked the oldest nurse who is like his mom in the hospital, Mrs Jung. "I can't decline if someone is gonna buy me food and drinks. Doctor Min Ah Ra and Nurse Han Seo Jin are also going, so at least there are more women added to the party." She smiled. "I mean Doctor Min Ji seems very interested in you~You both would suit each other very much" Nurse Han Seo Jin wriggled her eyebrow at Wonwoo. Wonwoo looked very uncomfortable at the mention. Doctor Ah Ra is known for her straightforwardness in work and her love life. She always goes all out. Yesterday, she even bought him and Jihoon coffee and cakes. Even before that, she would always buy him food and sit near him. It’s not like he didn’t drop hints that he is not interested but in fact, he always declined and avoided her. Somehow, she didn't get it or she was just being persistent. "Should I be upfront and tell her that I'm married?" He thought. Sensing his discomfort, Mrs Jung said "I don't think that Doctor wonwoo think Doctor Ah Ra that way." Jeonghan also jumped to save him, "I guess it's true that Wonwoo is not interested in anyone.Oh, great news!  Soonyoung and Jihoon said that they are going to join us too. This is going to be more merrier!" 

Hana was very happy when she arrived at his apartment. When she entered the house, she smiled. The house was very clean despite being a bit dusty. "He must be very busy.." Hana cleaned his house and even stocked his fridge with food. She can't wait for him to come back home. After doing all the chores,she texted him to ask when he is available so she could call him, in order for her to  know when he is going to go home. "Sorry babe, I'm going out to eat with the team. Might be home around midnight though." He spoke softly. "Well, I miss you.." He chuckled. "If you want me to call you around midnight, sure~" Hana laughed as she snuggled in his bed. "Well, it's okay. We can talk tomorrow.." He sighed when he heard his name "sorry babe, duty calls.." She smiled. "Take care babe, love you.." He whispered. "Love you too darling". After the phone call, Hana pouted, thinking what she should do to kill some time. " Well, I should go shopping and eat great food.." She grinned as she searched for the restaurants that are popular in that area.

Not only SoonYoung and Jihoon follow them but the nurses, Seokmin and Seungkwan also joined the team. They were having bbq and enjoying the meat. "You know, I'm glad my children are older now. I can enjoy going out with you youngsters without stress." Mrs Jung laughed happily as she ate a piece of meat. "This is so good!" Seokmin sighed happily. Wonwoo nodded as he munched on his food. Doctor Ah Ra, like always, would stick near him. "Here a wrap. Says ahh..'' she tries to feed him a wrap. Wonwoo put his hand in front of him "it's okay. You should eat it.." Jeonghan and Jihoon looked at each other and sipped at their shots, at the awkward drama. Before nurse seojin can try to be a wing woman, Mrs Jung speaks out. "I guess we should play a game.. I really wanna see all of you youngsters play the game truth or dare without dare.. I'm too old for dare.." All of them laughed at her joke.

Hana grinned happily as she walked into the BBQ shop. "Hi, can I have a seat for a person.." The waitress nodded and brought her to a seat. "I'm sorry to inform you that the set comes for 2 people," she smiled at the waitress. "It's okay.., '' she grinned at the waitress. The waitress nodded at her before sitting her down at an empty table. Hana was looking around the BBQ restaurants when a group of people caught her eyes. They were laughing at one of the women's jokes. "I should invite Siyeon and Jinjoo here.." She pouted as she looked at her phone. However, the guy who sits at the edge of the table looked very familiar which made her double take. She looked up again to see the man,clearly. Lo and behold, it's her husband. She quickly ducks her head, hiding her face. "Oh no! I'm going to be caught."

"Which department doctor do you hate so much?" Jihoon asked the oldest nurse. "We all know Mr Kang Ho Jun from the cardiology department. That man is annoying!" Mr Jung huffed. All of them laugh. "Yup I can't deny it."  Jeonghan sighed, taking a shot. "So now let us turn the bottle.." It landed on Doctor Ah Ra. "Who is your ideal type amongst the doctors and why?" Nurse Seojin asked her. "My ideal type is doctor wonwoo. He is tall, handsome, and great at his work..." Everyone just wooed at her responses. Wonwoo wants to focus on the game despite his annoyance but the lady at the table in front of him caught his eyes. She was ducking her head awkwardly with a menu in her hands. He narrowed his eyes at the ring on her ring finger that looked awfully familiar. Then, he saw one of the waitresses come to her table. That is when she dropped the menu to talk with the waitress. She looked very hurried."Wonwoo it's your turn." He looked at them. "Huh?" Nurse Seojin goes again. "What nickname would you give to doctor Ji A?" Wonwoo's eyes travelled back to the familiar woman at the table in front and when the waitress moved, both of him and her eyes met. "Baby!" 

"Baby!" When Hana's eyes met Wonwoo, she knew she was busted. She waves awkwardly. Wonwoo spoke briefly at them before standing up and walked towards her. Before she said anything, he immediately hugged her. "Umm... Surprised..?" She giggled." When did you arrive?" He looked at her, grinning happily. "This afternoon..." He barked a laugh, "so when you called me earlier.." Hana grinned "I was on your bed.." Wonwoo shakes his head at her and leads her to his table. She looked at the people nervously. Not even wonwoo's hand behind her could soothe her nerves."Guys, this is my wife, Hana. Hana, this is my friend and colleague." She bowed to them "hello, I'm Hana, wonwoo's wife. Thank you for taking care of him while he is working at the hospital." Jeonghan waves "we met again, Hana..." Jihoon also put his hand's up, saying hi to her as they met before.

Hana sat next to Wonwoo. The woman next to him look at her with unreadable expression. "I never know you were married!" Seungkwan bellowed. "I thought everybody knows.. Mrs Jung knows too.. " wonwoo said as his hand wandered behind Hana's back. "How was your internship?" Jeonghan smiled at her. "It was great. I learned a lot at the hospital.." Hana mused. "No wonder wonwoo hides her. She is so pretty..." Soonyoung's word makes Hana hides her face to his side. “You are studying nurse, right? I hope I can work with you in the future,” Mrs Jung smiled fondly at her. “ I hope she can do her job very well then,” the woman next to her rudely. All of the people at the table looked uncomfortable at her statement. “ Oh! Since you never met us formally, this is Nurse Han Seo Jin and Doctor Ah Ra. Both of them worked in neurosurgery too,” Hana nodded in understanding and turned to Doctor Ah Ra. “It’s nice to meet you,”  Doctor Ah Ra rolled her eyes and just nodded as she drinks her soju.

Doctor Ah Ra keeps drinking her soju which makes all the people at the table become very nervous. The thing about doctor Ah Ra is, she is very outspoken but she can be much worse when she’s drunk. “ How did you guys meet?” Hana looked at Doctor Ah Ra.  “Oh, we were in the same school,” Doctor Ah Ra hummed. “So, you become a nurse because he is a doctor?” before Hana could retort her reason to be a nurse. “Are you stupid? You think that you can date while working if you do that?” Doctor Ah Ra snickered. Hana frowned. She doesn’t understand why this woman is attacking her. “I did not become a nurse because my husband is a doctor. I don’t get why you insinuate things, Doctor Ah Ra.” Doctor Ah Ra laughed bitterly. “I don’t get it. Why does he like you? Because you are cute? We all know cute girls are the most foxy ones. You are not even that pretty.” The others were rendered speechless by Doctor Ah Ra’s words. Hana could sense Wonwoo is heated with Doctor Ah Ra’s statement. “ Doctor Ah Ra, I think you should get home now. You drank too much..” His voice is low and serious. “ I don’t get it. Why don’t you like me back? I don’t care if you are married, you should be with me,” Hana was heated with Ah Ra’s childish words. “Are you even hearing what comes out of your mouth?” Doctor Ah Ra laughed. “Look, a lot of guys left their wife for me. It’s not my fault that they want me. Jeon Wonwoo, I don’t understand what is so attractive about her. Her look is just basic, and I doubt she is that intelligent-” The sudden bang shocked everyone. “ I don’t mind if you insult me but don’t insult my wife. You have crossed the line, Doctor Ah Ra. Excuse us, it is better for both of us to retire for the night. I’m sorry everyone,” Wonwoo stood up and gathered their things. Hana looked at the others, feeling bad for ruining their dinner. “I’m sorry for this Doctor Jeon,” Mrs. Jung looked at him, feeling guilty. He shook his head, “ No, It’s not your fault, Mrs.Jung. See you guys tomorrow,” 

“Are you okay,Wonwoo?” Hana sat down next to Wonwoo on the couch. “ I can’t believe Doctor Ah Ra has the nerve to say all of that. I thought that I didn’t drop hints that I was married and uninterested in her. It seems like she was ignoring those hints all along,” Wonwoo sighed. He used to feel so guilty when Doctor Ah Ra made moves on him, even though he, with the help of his other friends, did drop hints to her that he was uninterested and married. “It’s not your fault. It’s not like you give her false hope or anything. Some people choose to ignore things for their own happiness,” “Are you not mad or anything?” “ Why would I be angry about something that you can’t control? It’s not your fault that she falls for you. To be honest, I couldn’t get angry at her for falling for you but I am angry at her for not understanding boundaries,” Wonwoo hummed in understanding. “Anyway-” Hana quickly jumped on him, covering his face and neck with kisses. Wonwoo hauled in laughter. “You really miss me huh?” Hana kissed on the tip of his nose before answering. “ Of course. Who wouldn’t miss their husband, especially someone as hot as you?” Wonwoo grinned before flipping her on the couch. “Well, I guess I should give you all those loving that I missed during our last meeting,” 

“ Someone’s glowing,” Mrs. Jung grinned when she spotted Wonwoo walking to their circle. “I guess you have a good night,” Jeonghan lifted his eyebrow, teasing Wonwoo, making the man groan. “ Did he fu-” before the words leave Soonyoung’s mouth, Jihoon shoved the rice cakes into his mouth. “ Have some rice cakes, I brought when I was out of town for conference meeting,” Doctor Seungcheol from cardiology department pat Wonwoo’s back. “I heard about yesterday’s tea. I hope you will be fine today,” he smiled to assure Wonwoo. Before Wonwoo could say anything, Doctor Ah Ra made way for him. “ Doctor Jeon, can I talk to you for a minute?”. Wonwoo nodded before making her way to her office. “Have a seat,” She offered when they got into her office. “I’m fine. What is it?” He spoke coldly. Doctor Ah Ra sighed before apologizing. “ I apologize for yesterday. I guess I’m not good at handling things,” Wonwoo nodded without saying anything. “ I also hope to apologize to your wife directly. It was low on me for blowing my anger at her,” Wonwoo nodded before opening his mouth. “ I accept your apology. I hope we can work like before without any personal feeling attached,” . Hana was surprised when Doctor Ah Ra apologized to her directly when she was having lunch with Wonwoo. “ It is fine. I accept your apology,” she smiled softly at the woman. “ What I did was very wrong, so I am very sorry once again,” said Doctor Ah Ra before she dismissed herself. “ Did she really apologize?” Jeonghan ran and sat near the couple. “Yeah, why?” Wonwoo spoke as he finished chewing his food. “ Very surprised because she has a reputation,” Hana nodded, “ What reputation?” Wonwoo immediately cut, “ No need to worry baby,” Jihoon and Soonyoung came and sat at their table. “ Baby? Gross,” Jihoon snorted as he took a sip of his coke. Soonyoung grinned at Hana “ Hi, we meet again. I have a lot of questions to ask you,” Hana laughed at the man. “ Yeah, ask away” Soonyoung giggled when he got the approval before typing in his Tiger cased phone. “ Does Wonwoo love skinship?” Hana giggled before grinning deviously. “ He does look cold but he loves skinship. He is a very romantic guy despite his looks,” All of the boys wooed at the shy man who’s gaze was straight on his food. “ Ewww, tell me more!” Jihoon giggled. 

[nishisun]

suna rintaro is NOT a genius.

summary: you loved the idea of soulmates. suna rintaro didn’t. it isn’t that hard to put two and two together to realize that maybe people with different opinions on things don’t belong together.

part 2

a/n: this was literally supposed to be a series, i gave up on it because i just didn’t like the way it turned out. it used to be called “out of my league” and this was the intro. i also renamed it. just emptying drafts!! please don’t get confused with the random timeskip, once again, this was a part of a series i never ended up posting😭

WARNING!!: suggestive themes, mentions of death, idk kinda angsty but tell me if i missed anything

Soulmates. Whatever the hell that means. The idea of soulmates is something I truly don’t understand. It’s bullshit, honestly. It’s all-pervasive.

My mother always told me I'd eventually find "the one.” I used to believe that when I was younger of course. But in my opinion? It’s all cliches. It's unhelpful, and it's certainly not true. Destiny is an excuse for the weak. Why do you think most marriages end in divorce? It's 'cause people who believe they are “destined to be" assume everything will fall into place without any effort. I don't appreciate people pontificating bullshit like that just to make me feel better, especially if they haven't found their "soulmate" themselves. My sister once told me, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up and encounter more difficulty in their relationship, which will lead them to give up on one another eventually.”

I sure do believe that.

My mother is a prime example. Fumeiko Suna, my dear mother. Well, she clearly hasn’t found hers. I found out when I came home after a tedious day of school in 5th grade and found my dear mother on the floor crying, with bruises all over her face and a busted lip.

Initially, I thought a burglar had broken into our home once again, but if that were the case then there would’ve been missing furniture. But there wasn’t.

In fact, the place seemed cleaner than usual. When I ran up to her and asked her what had happened, there he was. The devil himself. My father. He reeked of alcohol, and I could detect his shadow towering over me. It’s funny how that I think of it. I used to fear that son of a bitch. Now, I’m way taller than him, and hate his guts. I turned around to see a faux-sympathetic smile plastered on his face.

He explained how my mother was being “clumsy” and had fell and busted her lip on one of the corners of the kitchen table and when I turned back around to face my mother, she smiled gently and nodded in agreement. She didn’t say anything after that.

It was then I realized my father had beat my mother to a pulp.

Long story short, when I found it was my father, sure, I was frightened. In fact, I remember going into my siblings’ rooms to inform them, they shrugged it off and told me that dad had been doing it for a while now.

Over time, when my dad had found out that I was aware, he didn't mind beating the absolute shit out of my mother in front of all three of us. This was when my burning hatred for that man started. Nobody in the house even attempted to stop him. I did a few times, though. He took all his anger out on me. At least my mom had a break for the day.

I almost pitied my mother. Almost. Maybe if she was strong enough to leave him, then yeah, I’d feel bad. But she still decides to stay with his sorry ass. It’s pathetic. It’s unrequited love or whatever you call it. How could she still love that asshole?

I mean, I’m not even going to lie, I’m an asshole too, but I’m definitely not my dad. I would never want to be him. He’s not someone I looked up to, he doesn’t do anything inspirational. He’s a businessman. He travels the majority of the time, and I’m pretty sure my mom invites men over when he’s gone. I don’t care enough to find out. But if I ever hear some guy rearranging my mom’s guts, I’ll kill him. I don’t even blame my mother. What she’s doing is wrong, she knows it and so do both of my older siblings. But they don't seem to care so why should I?

Who knows why she just won’t leave him. Maybe it’s cause they don’t want to ruin how people view our “picture perfect” family. I wonder what they’d say. “I thought the Suna’s were the ideal family? I guess not.”

My dad would probably lose it if he heard that.

Both my mother and my father are the cause of this broken family of mine. They never fed me or any of my siblings the love we always desired when we were younger. They never came to any of my volleyball games when I was younger. They never applauded me for the little recitals we’d have in class in primary school. They were never even here for most of my childhood. They always put money first and left us with the housekeepers. Hell, the housekeepers probably know me better than my own parents.They failed as parents. I despise them for it. They’re most likely the reason I am the way I am, but to be honest?

I don’t give a fuck.

In fact, I should thank them! Because of how they “raised” me, i’m extremely blunt, which is why people respect me. I use the hatred I have for my family and take it out on people and no, I’m not proud of that. I may be a heartless asshole, but I like that people fear me. The hell? Does that make me a sadist? Either way, people know to never fuck with me cause I’d fuck their shit up. I’ve overheard many people say it’s ‘cause of my privilege. It probably is. Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure can buy you many other things.

If my parents were broke, I’d probably be expelled from school by now. Abuse of alcohol and drugs are forbidden on school property. I don’t even take them at school, I somewhat care about my education and health, but sometimes I just need to blow some steam. Even if I did, nobody’s gonna say shit since my dad is the head of Japan’s board of education. How did his ass even get there?

Call me lonely or cynical. Maybe I am. But how is that a bad thing? Why do people need a significant other to rely on? What, a soulmate is just going to turn my life upside down then suddenly bring me happiness? Pfft, I’m gonna need actual proof that shit like that still happens. I’ve only seen shit like that in fairy tale movies. It’s whatever, though. I can live with being alone. I’ve basically been alone my whole life and it isn’t as bad as people make it.

You loved the idea of having a soulmate. The thought of meeting someone who just understood you, accepted you for who you were, and most importantly, loved you excited you. You couldn’t wait to meet your soulmate.

But recently, you weren’t sure soulmates existed.

When your older sister, Akira, came into your room and burst into tears, it frightened you. Your older sister, the one who’d always provide you advice on relationships and how to keep one was in your room sobbing hysterically because hers hadn’t worked out.

“I just can't believe it,” she sobbed.

You couldn’t believe it either. Your sister had recently gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 9 years. They started dating at the age of 15 and managed to make things work out even after high school, and out of all those years of dating, they never broke up. Not even once.

They’d go on romantic dates on Saturdays and they’d always write love letters to one another every day, just to remind one another of how grateful they were to have each other in their lives. On Halloween, they’d dress up as fictional characters from TV shows and books and take cute selfies and bake a bunch of sweets. They’d invite you to come bake with them, but you would politely deny. You knew they were only offering so you wouldn’t feel left out, which you appreciated.

Of course, they’d argue every now and then, but at the end of the day, they always managed to talk things out. Oh to have a relationship like theirs. They were everything you wanted to have in a relationship and more.

“I really thought he was the one for me, y’know?” No, you don’t know. But that doesn't matter. What mattered was cheering your sister up.

“Maybe he wasn’t ‘the one’ Akira, and that’s okay! People come and go all the time, soulmates come and go all the time as well-”

“You still believe soulmates are real, huh?” she let out a humorless laugh and sniffed her nose, “What If I missed my one shot at love, Y/N? What if I lost my soulmate?”

That’s some deep shit.

Now that you think about it, were soulmates real? Soulmates come and go, yes, you’re aware of that, but even though they leave, it’s always temporary. Soulmates always find a way back to their other half, the piece that completes them.

Your dad never made it back to your mother.

He died in a car crash 5 years ago. Your mother and father had been arguing because she claimed your father was cheating on her since he wouldn’t let her check his phone.

You were 13 at the time. Your sister Akira was accompanying you in your room, listening to them arguing back and forth with one another. There was furniture flying across the room, glass breaking, and both of them throwing curses at each other. You were scared. They never argued in front of you and your sister. They'd bicker sometimes, but it was never anything too deep.

Eventually, your father had enough of your mother’s false accusations, and out of anger, he packed his things and left home. For weeks. It wasn’t until one of your uncles called your mother and broke the news. She didn’t take it very well.

Late 2012-early 2013.

Not many people came to your father’s funeral, his family didn’t like the fact that he and your mother were together, they said your mother was trouble, but your dad still stayed with her, even if that meant it would completely destroy the bond he had with his family. Now that’s true love, you had thought. Only your mother, Akira, the Sunas, your uncle, and you, of course, attended the funeral.

It hurt a lot. It hurt when your mother informed both your grandparents on your mother and father’s side and all they could do is put the blame on her. It hurt how they had claimed you, Akira and your mother were a hindrance to your dear father’s well-being. How could they be so cruel at a time like this?

That was the first time you ever questioned if soulmates were real. Maybe they fell in love at the wrong time? Who knows.

After your father’s passing, Fumiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, was there to help your family out financially. Your mother couldn’t even find the motivating to go to work. Your mother and Fumiko have been best friends since junior high, they’ve literally been inseparable ever since. In fact, after they both got married, they decided to live right next to each other.

Your mom didn’t cope with your father’s death very well; none of you did. But your mom had it the worst.

She would cope with alcohol and clubbing which would always result in her bringing different men home almost every night. You didn’t say much about it, you thought it would be selfish to since that’s what seemed to make your mother feel better about herself, but your sister hated it. She was already 19 and in college at the time, but when she visited and found out that your mother had basically been neglecting you, she was furious.

“Seriously, mom? This is what you’re gonna do while your 13-year-old daughter is in her room having a literal mental breakdown because of your childish behavior?” Your sister had barged into your mother’s room when she thought you were asleep, she was screaming loud.

“You’re interrupting something important, Akira. You know better than to-”

“Oh, shut the hell up mom. You’re the last person on earth to be saying shit like that.”

“Well, if you’re done, you can leave my room now. You’re being disrespectful, and this behavior is not tolerated!” Your mother was screaming now. The man in the bed covering his body under the covers and looking back and forth between Akira and your mother.

“Sakiya, maybe you should hear your daughter out-”

“Not now.” your mother scarcely interrupted the man, eye contact never leaving Akira. “Y/N has never complained about this when you were in college. She knows this is my way of coping, why can’t you understand that too!”

Akira scoffed. “So what, getting fucked by random strangers you find on the filthy streets is your way of coping? Getting wasted every damn night to the point where Y/N has to drag you up to bed is okay with you? Do you even know how much this is affecting Y/N? Did you even bother asking her how she felt? I hate breaking it to you mom, but you need serious help.”

“You selfish child!” Your mother screamed, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around her body, getting up from the bed. “How dare you say that to your own mother?”

“I’m only telling the truth! If you’re the mother, then it’s your job to be taking care of Y/N, not neglecting her. When’s the last time you’ve engross in an actual conversation with her when you were fully sober?”

Your mother was silent. She quickly walked up to Akira and grabbed her by the hair and slammed her headfirst against the wall.

“You’ve got a big mouth! Maybe I should wash it with soap like I did back in the day, hm?” Akira was attempting to push her mother away, but she wouldn’t let go of her grip. The man that was still on your mother’s bed was in panic, yelling her name, which didn’t have any effect. He might as well stop.

"Look," Akira mumbled, struggling to get away from your mother's grip, "I know it's been hard ever since dad left-"

“Mom! Let go of her!” You cried from the door of her room.

All 3 adults froze and looked at your glassy eyes, mouths wide open.

“Hey, kiddo, I thought you were asleep?” Akira playfully said, your mother let go of Akira and crossed her arms then looked away from you.

“Well, I can't really go to sleep when there’s a bunch of adults yelling about my well-being,” you muttered incoherently. You quickly wiped the uncontrollable tears off your face and sighed.

“Honey,” your mom started, she walked slowly to you, carefully examined your face, and attempted to hug you, but you didn’t accept the offer which made your mother frown. She stopped walking until she was almost face to face with you and placed a hand on your shoulder gently. “Baby, your sister told me that you weren’t happy. Is this true?”

You looked away from her and stared dully at the floor, subtly shifting your feet, then you softly shook your head “no.”

“See Akira, Y/N is happy. So please stop stressing her out.” Your mother said through gritted teeth, then faced you once again. “Y/N honey, how about I go tuck you into bed, hm? I’m so sorry for the excessive noise that was caused.”

“Mom, how clueless can you be? Y/N looks miserable! It’s unhealthy for Y/N to be living-“

Slap.

Your mother just slapped Akira on the face.

“I know what’s best for my daughter! I am her mother! You are not the one who should be telling me how to take care of my own kid!”

“That’s enough, Sakiya.” a familiar voice said from the door.

“Fumeiko-“

“It’s fine. Sakiya, we need to talk.” It was Fumeiko Suna, your mother’s best friend, also known as your next door neighbor. She had been standing in the hallways the whole time, you didn’t even know she was there. Akira was the one who called her over.

That night your mother agreed to get help for her drinking problem. She was gone for 6 months. During those 6 months, the Suna’s took you in since Akira would be in college and you couldn’t have been more grateful.

You and Rintaro were the only kids in the house, being that you both were the same age and the others were in college. It was okay, they were all very polite, dinners were awkward, you could feel some sort of tension between the family but you didn’t pay any attention to it.

When your mom finally came back, it was awkward at first. She still seemed the same, loving and caring, just sober and free of alcohol. It was nice. You two spent the weekends bonding at the mall, watching a movie, or even getting your nails done. Eventually, she gained your trust back, and you couldn’t have been happier.

January 2017.

“Akira, don’t say that. You may not believe me now, but you are such an amazing person, don’t ever think you’ll never find love again. It’s all about having a positive mindset!” you said, thoughtfully stroking her hair as her head laid on your chest.

“I told you that.”

“You did,” you chuckled, “you should take your own advice.

“Oh, shut up!” you both laughed, and Akira let out a shaky sigh. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“Of course, you don't need to thank me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

— so this is one of the writings that i wrote in January 😭 it’s been in my drafts and i re-read it once and instantly hated it right after. if there’s any typos please tell me!!

— also i wanna apologize again for putting gmds on hiatus,, i feel so bad 😭 i wanna make it up to you guys but idk how so if you have suggestions pls tell me

[say-the-name-sebongie]

Princely Problems

Synopsis: Where a princess-love-story-unbeliever meets a prince-like gentleman named Joshua

Pairing: Joshua x fem!reader

Genre: tiny bit angst, fluff somewhere at the end

Warnings: drinking, harassment, violence

Word Count: 3k words

Fairytales were fictional. _____ had already had that down. Princes that saved princesses from abnormally high towers or mad dragons didn’t exist and love stories weren’t what Disney had made them to be. Those fictional movies just made little girls hope for something that could never exist: a perfect love story

Out of all the relationships she had been in, not one of them proved to have a Disney-like fairytale happy ending. In fact, none of them had happy endings. Men only pretended to be princes that would swoop in to save you when you needed it. But even that façade only lasted so long. Men only wanted you for a night, a month, or not at all.

This was why _____ wasn’t fazed (or as fazed as she would like to admit) when the epitome of gentle princely men knelt down beside her, asking if she was okay after her fall on the sidewalk from running too fast to catch a cab to work. He didn’t seem to care that some strands of his perfectly styled hair had fallen down over his eyes as he looked over her for any injuries.

“I’m fine, seriously.” She said as she got up while holding onto the lamppost beside her and pretending not to notice that the guy had held out his hand to help her, taking note that her left ankle was definitely sprained. The boy’s doe-like eyes looked into hers and it took all of _____’s willpower not to nervously swallow under his stare.

“My name’s Joshua and I don’t think you’re okay.” The boy— Joshua— said as he slipped an arm behind her and led her to one of the houses nearby.

“What the heck! Where are you taking me?” _____ panicked. Joshua just laughed, the sun shining on his glorious face as he threw his head back. “This is my house and no, I’m not going to do anything to you. I’ll leave the door unlocked and open if that makes you feel safer but that sprained leg needs to be iced.”

Needless to say, the boy made this “prince” thing look very natural.

Over the next few days, Joshua continued to keep up his princely façade. It was like he was actually born from royalty. The amount of grace and politeness that exuded from his form made _____ gag. He was almost too perfect. Everything he did was considered kind. Helping old ladies cross the street, holding the door open to let the pregnant lady into the shop, carrying groceries for that old man that lived at the end of the street, and basically any action kind and princely. He was just mortifyingly nice.

Not only that but he was mortifyingly nice even to _____ who turned down his many attempts to be of service to her. She didn’t let him open the door for her when they coincidentally went to the same café, grabbing the door handle along with him to open it herself. Nor did she let him help her change her car tire. _____ was fooled once, okay maybe more than once but she wasn’t going to be fooled again. Not by a guy who pretended to be nice. Not by some kind boy who lived a few houses over and made her heart do parkour routines in her chest every time they met. Not by Joshua, and that was final.

So far, Joshua hadn’t gotten tired of her refusals. He was still as nice as he was when they had first met. _____ pitied the girl who would fall for him. There weren’t a lot of people who wouldn’t believe that Joshua was just pretending.

“Joshua sure is one good actor,” she mumbled to herself as she walked.

“You should wear a jacket if you’re going out today.” Speak of the devil. _____ turned around and saw the embodiment of princely behavior graciously standing with a leaf blower in his hands, yard nearly rid of any leaves that had recently started falling. “It's autumn now so the nights are gonna be colder.”

She didn’t miss the way his eyes drifted to her legs, exposed by the short dress she was wearing, before coming back up to rest on her face. Typical men. They just can’t help themselves can they, _____ thought scoffed. The neighborhood prince’s face was contorted with worry as if he was afraid that she’d get cold. _____ gave a laugh in response. “I can take care of myself.” She told him before going her way.

-----

Getting drunk was part of the plan. _____ had agreed to go out with her friends from work to get her mind off the angelic creature that had been reaching out and offering his help bothering and pestering her all week. The bar was full of people, music, and alcohol. No princes and no Joshua. Just what she needed tonight.

Her friends immediately went to the dance floor, their eyes wide open and hunting for someone to take home for the night. _____ sat at the bar and watched them as she took shot after shot, drowning any thoughts of Joshua. One shot. Princes didn't exist. Another shot. His real personality would show itself sooner or later. Shot glasses gathered up in front of her as she drank alcohol as if it was water.

"That's enough alcohol for you sweetheart. Why don't I take you outside for some fresh air?" An unfamiliar man's voice said. _____ turned to her right and saw a man reaching for her thigh, his oily hair slicked back and his wild eyes peering over her form. Even in her dunked stupor she noticed that he wasn't looking at her face but at her chest and thighs.

Disgusted, she pushed him away and stumbled to the dance floor in search of her friends. The man followed her closely, his invasive eyes never leaving her body. People bumped and pushed against her, making it hard to make an escape from the man. Soon enough _____ found herself stuck in the middle of the dance floor with the man pressing his pelvis against her back.

"Go away! " she tried to shout at him, but the loud music and chatter drowned out her cry. The man smiled behind her as his hands went lower towards the hem of her dress. _____ pushed hard against him and bolted out of the bar.

She ran out of the exit and was met with the ice-cold air of the night. That apparently was not enough to make the man stop pursuing her because he was still hot on her trail. Desperate to get away from the man, _____ managed to stumble to the main road when suddenly her heel got caught on a stone and she twisted her ankle rather painfully. The girl let out a loud cry of pain.

"Get up, hurry." a new male's voice came as the speaker's warm hands softly gripped her forearms, pulling her up. In the light of the moon, _____ looked up at Joshua’s face. His usually warm eyes were now boiling with anger as he stared at something behind her.

"Josh, my ankle," _____ whined, the alcohol hitting her again and momentarily forgetting that she didn’t want anything to do with Joshua tonight. Light and shadow blended together. The boy sighed and removed his jacket, wrapping it around her legs before positioning his arms around and under her to lift her up.

This was the first time that she had seen Joshua up close. Of course, every time he tried to come near her, she just pushed him away. Her eyes focused on the lines of his face as if it were a camera. He was so annoyingly nice and attractive that her heart started beating faster.

"Come in girlie, let's have some fun at my place." the man said as he came running towards _____. Joshua stood up protectively in front of her. If a fight broke out between him and the man, it was obvious Joshua would win. But the man was too blinded by his desire for pleasure to think straight. He barreled towards _____, reaching down to touch her when Joshua grabbed his arm, pulled him to eye level, and stared him down.

"Leave. Her. Alone." he threw the man to the ground and kicked him for good measure. It was surprising to see this side of Joshua. The warm man who seemed like he couldn't even hurt a fly was now inflamed with anger and beating up a stranger. The fire in his eyes didn’t subside even as he kicked the man over and over.

"Joshua, stop," _____ said as she reached up to tug on his shirt, letting out a yelp as she accidentally moved her ankle. Joshua looked back at her, his wide, warm, worrying eyes meeting hers as he came to her aid. "Don't beat him up, it's not worth it."

"Sorry, it's just that guys like him disgust me," he said as he scooped _____ up and headed off. She heard a car beep before he laid her in the passenger seat of his car. He then went to the driver's seat and started the car.

"You followed me?" _____ asked him, earning a smile from the man beside her. "I figured something would happen to you, especially in that dress." his warm, gentle voice washed over her. He looked up at her and winked. The girl rolled her eyes and looked out the window. Joshua was too attractive for her own good. _____ really had to get him out of her head or she might end up falling for a prince again.

-----

_____ woke up with the worst headache she had ever had in her life. She was still in the dress from last night, her foot bandaged and Joshua's jacket draped over her.

Joshua's jacket?

That woke her up. Clearly, she was in her house and sitting on her couch which meant that Joshua had come into her house but had the decency not to go into her room. The fact that she was still in her clothes from last night meant he hadn't tried to undress her.

Why did he have to be such a natural gentleman?

Getting up off the couch, _____ made her way to the kitchen where she found a post-it note sticking on the refrigerator door.

I put some of the hangover soup my mom made in here. Heat it up and eat that when you wake up. Call me if you need anything. - Shua

Below the last sentence was a series of numbers. _____ smiled and saved the number into her contacts. As much as she didn’t want to have anything to do with Joshua anymore, she would have to thank him sooner or later. She had to admit, he was really thoughtful to have done all this. The familiar warm bubbling in her chest from last night came back. _____ shook her head.

It's not real, _____. Don’t start falling for him now.

A knock on her door shook her out of her thoughts. The face of the prince greeted her when she opened it. His kind eyes immediately looked down at her injured foot before the scolding started.

"Why are you already walking around? You're injured, for goodness' sake." He demanded, grabbing her arms and pushing her back into the house.

"Joshua I- Wait-"

He dragged her inside and sat her back down on the couch. Joshua placed down the paper bag he was holding and went straight to the kitchen and brought out the hangover soup. _____ felt like her chest was about to burst. She knew this feeling and this was something she promised herself never to feel again.

He’s not a prince. He’s not a prince. He’s not a prince. He’s not a prince.

"Aren't you tired of pretending to be nice Joshua?" _____ huffed as she crossed her arms over her chest. The girl couldn't wait for Joshua to snap, to prove her wrong so she could go back to believing that Disney stories were plain fiction. With that, she would have enough reason to not like him and go back to her normal life.

"What do you mean pretending? This is how I always am though?" Joshua said, his head peeking out of the kitchen. When he saw that _____ wasn't convinced, he walked over to her and looked her in the eyes.

"Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?”

Feeling guilty, _____ looked down at the floor. To be perfectly honest, there was nothing Joshua had done that would ever even make her question his kindness. He has been nothing but kind to her and to everyone around him. However, her belief still stands.

“You should probably stop being so nice and princely to me. I don’t believe in those Disney movies that say men will sweep you off your feet and carry you to happily ever after. I’ve been through enough to know what men are truly like. I know you’re not Prince Charming and you can’t make me think otherwise.” _____ hissed before pulling him to the door.

“Thank you for bringing me home last night and for bringing me the soup but I’m not going to fall for another nice guy like you, Joshua.” And with that, she closed the door leaving a stunned Joshua staring at her peephole.

For the next few days, Joshua left _____ alone. No greeting when they passed each other on the street. Heck, it was like they didn’t even know each other. The boy continued to be of help and service to the other people in their neighborhood but he had cut all contact with _____.

The change made _____ happy. Her feelings for Joshua had faded away and she was able to go about her life without that fake prince tempting her with his sweet words and actions. Or so she would like to think.

After kicking Joshua out of her house, he invaded every second of her time. She couldn’t think of anything but him. _____ couldn’t admit it, but she missed having someone greet her in the morning on the way to work. She missed him coming over to her house once in a while to give her some mashed potatoes because he had made too much. The girl lay in bed at night haunted by the warmth of a person she had pushed out of her life. Though _____ wouldn’t admit it to anyone, she missed Joshua.

Christmas time came around and the snow had started piling up in her yard. Shoveling snow was the only thing she could do without thinking of the boy that lived a few houses over so she did it every time she could. _____ shoved piles of ice out of her yard banning all thoughts of princes and boys. It was just her, the shovel, and the ice. Right now, nothing matters, she thought to herself. Her shovel got stuck on a rather large chunk of ice. She pushed with all her might but the ice stubbornly stood its ground.

The sound of footsteps on the snow made her look up to see the very face she had been avoiding to see. Joshua was standing at the edge of her yard with a shovel in his hands. “Do you need help?”

His offer took _____ aback. This was the same guy she kicked out of her house a few weeks ago, right? The guy who she had called a fake. And here he was, offering his help to the girl who had done all that to him.

“It’s fine. I don’t want to bother you.” She gave a forced smile and hoped he would leave her alone after that.

I don’t want to have to kick you out of my life again.

The boy shrugged his shoulders. “You could never bother me _____. If it makes you feel better, you can help me shovel my yard too.”

Seeing that he was adamant about helping her, _____ gave in. The two worked side by side in silence. After finishing Joshua’s yard, he offered her some hot chocolate to which _____ only agreed to because her teeth were already chattering.

As she sat in his living room, looking around at the Christmas decorations already put up. A fire was roaring in the fireplace. She could hear the tinkling of the teaspoon hitting the mugs as Joshua mixed the hot chocolate.

“Don’t you hate me, Joshua?” _____ asked him, nervously fiddling with her hands on her lap.

The boy’s laugh rang in her ears, making her cheeks turn red. Weeks of trying to forget him went to waste as her feeling came back to the surface. “Why would I hate you?”

“Didn’t you get offended that I kicked you out of my house after you were only trying to be nice to me?”

“Of course, not. You had a perfectly good reason to be suspicious of me and I figured that you just needed time to sort your feelings out.” He handed _____ a glass of hot chocolate.

“Feelings?” Did she accidentally tell him something? _____ didn’t remember ever telling anyone, even her own friends, about how she felt for Joshua.

“You probably don’t remember but you’re kinda talkative when you’re drunk. Plus, you called me a prince that one time so it was safe to assume that you probably saw me that way.” _____ turned to the side to hide her blush. Curse the drinking habit she had to have.

“And for your information, I like you too,” he said, turning her head towards him and forcing _____ to meet his glittering eyes as the girl nervously swallowed. There was no turning back now, their feelings were out in the open. All that was needed was their decision on what to do with them.

“Give me a chance to prove you wrong, princess.”

[wh6res]

“𝑰’𝑴 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑳𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻, 𝒀𝑶𝑼𝑹 𝑶𝑵𝑳𝒀 𝑺𝑨𝑽𝑰𝑶𝑼𝑹.”

part of the 21 ways to kill your lover collab hosted by the lovely miss solange @du0tine

pairing. entity! xdj & f! reader | word count. 5.4k

synopsis. he wasn’t a god, he wasn’t a devil, and fuck, he’s surely not an angel, but he will be your saviour and your light ‘till kingdome come.

warnings. tread with caution. yandere/possesive themes, religious themes, violence, mentions of gore, swearing, mentions of ptsd, mentions of physical abuse, a lot of character deaths, manipulation, stalking, and implications of suicide

disclaimer. i do not condone whatever tf i wrote in this nor does it reflect my beliefs or values or morals and such. it is all pure fiction and i also dont think xiaojun from wayv would act like this in real life.

a soul’s vulnerability gives him strength. he has scourged far and wide and has yet to encounter a soul as interesting as yours. he never thought a heart filled with hatred and a fragile mentality can be such a sweet combination. xiaojun would be stupid not to latch his greedy talons onto you.

he hides in the darkest corners of your room at night, unseen and unheard, just watching over you like a predator to his poor unsuspecting gazelle before diving into the anticipated chase. 

he moves in with you into the cheap apartment you got for yourself here in the big city—which he thinks is an awful move because of how lonely it’ll be. but hey, it wasn’t anyone’s fault that you got chased out of your own home by your stepdad, your very own biological mom too scared to say a peep of defense to your name. 

your downfalls became xiaojun’s highlights. 

he would’ve felt sorry for you after finding out about that abusive old man. ugh, he scowls. your stepdad makes the entity’s blood boil and he doesn’t even have blood to begin with. the same man who holds the bible in his left hand when he preaches sermons for the people, is the same hand he uses to hit you across the face. 

the same hand he uses to pull at your hair. the same hand he uses to punch your gut. the same hand he uses to shove your mom down when she tries interfering. 

xiaojun may hate men of god but above all, he absolutely detests the kind your old man is—a faker, who thinks he can get away with the shit mess he’s making. xiaojun would never take that preacher’s murky soul even if he offered it to the entity voluntarily. fake. fake. fake. fake. fake. xiaojun should’ve killed him. xiaojun should’ve slit his throat. xiaojun should’ve torn his eyes out—

ah, ah, ah.

he can’t afford to make you any less vulnerable than you already are, now, can he? after all, he can be anything you want but he’s no angel. 

so he watched from the sidelines. 

watched you cry. watched you bleed. watched your scars form. watched the hate and resentment you have for your own family fester in your heart until it grew to a size you can’t hide within yourself anymore. 

and then you left home. 

xiaojun has to admit, for a second, maybe leaving home will make your soul unworthy, will break the mold he’s already had of you and will completely spoil his well-thought out plans.

so really, he can only scoff when he watches you walk around the apartment wearing that pretty dress on a sunday morning, darting around with calculated steps to shove everything inside your bag to go to church. the dress hangs nicely against your skin but he’d rather you stay and wear nothing. 

maybe you’d finally find contentment and happiness in this place, in this city, on your own. soaring high without a cage, without someone to hold you back—these things fill his thoughts like a plague until you come barging back into the door 30 minutes later. 

he’s been watching you long enough to know church service wouldn’t end for another 30 minutes or so. xiaojun’s eyebrows quirk up. why would his fragile little gazelle come back oh so early? but his question is immediately answered when he detects your shaky breaths and the unshed tears in your glistening eyes

you’re suffering the post-traumatic effects your shit stepdad has caused. seeing another preacher must’ve been a trigger, he thinks, eyeing you with a look on his face. xiaojun felt a little stupid. of course, swimming to the surface will be tough with all that trauma anchoring you down.

it’ll be tough, indeed… so why not sink you even deeper?

it didn’t take much energy for him to start manipulating your dreams. every nap, every deep sleep, he’d replay all the horrible things your stepdad has done to you and he realizes how dreams depicted from his perspective took a larger toll on you versus the ones from your own point of view—witnessing for yourself how weak and helpless you had been seemed to chip away bigger parts of you, he notices. your terrified screams when waking up in cold sweat getting louder and louder with every passing nightmare.

he pushed, and pushed, and pushed until you were standing right at the edge of sanity. until you start questioning your own self-worth and judgment, the invisible chains of the trauma too strong to break. until your radiant skin looked deathly, with gaunt cheeks and white lips. until you developed a fear of sleeping because no, you don’t want to witness those horrors again. no. no. no. no, please don’t hit me—

xiaojun can’t help but admire his handiwork but no, he doesn’t have time for that! 

the next time you fell asleep you had been desperately holding onto your 5th bottle of gatorade like it was a torch breaking through the darkness. you’ve intake so much of the energy drink that your body has grown used to it. you would’ve switched to caffeine, but from how much you drank it prior to the energy drinks, your blood is practically coffee at this point. 

“you’re living in my house now, young lady! i’d like to see some respect from your or i’ll fucking beat it into you!”

“stop! please. hit me instead, hit me!” 

“this is all your fault, bitch! how can you raise one daughter wrong? no wonder your husband left you!”

murky and black, you can’t even see the bottom at this point. it keeps pulling you down, and down, and down, until you couldn’t breathe. until your head feels light. until your heart beats erratically within your ribcage as you fought to the surface. 

with all the negative emotions surging through you in thunderous waves, it’s a wonder how no other lonesome, starving entity has latched onto you like xiaojun. although realistically, he was here first, as if he’ll let any other being like him go near you.

it took a greater amount of energy to twist and manipulate the plotline of certain events in a dream. if xiaojun hadn’t grown strong from all your negativity, he’d never be able to do it. 

he can never forget the day he first appeared to you in a dream. to have you cling onto him as you willingly took his hand—not that he was caught by surprise, anyway. every second of every hour of every day xiaojun spent plotting your demise has led to this fruitful day of “meeting” you for the first time. 

“i’m right here,” he said, shaking fingers tracing over your cheeks. a soft caress you have never experienced. 

the man in your dreams is someone you’ve never met before—you’re positive that you haven’t because you’d never forget a face as handsome as his. he appears like an angel casted over divine light, with a soft smile that can cure the plague as he offers his hands for you to take. it was beautiful, how your nightmares turned into dreams the moment the mysterious man arrived. 

how’d you ever know, that the hand you grabbed is the wolf in sheep’s clothing?

it’s sad really, how you’ve only managed to escape one horror only to jump into the next but xiaojun can’t find it in himself to feel bad. well, maybe a little, it’s a fleeting thought. something that disappeared as quickly as it had passed by.

it was only after a few weeks of constantly appearing in your dreams did his plan start to backfire. the change in your behavior isn’t subtle, either, and it angered him all the more. he didn’t see this coming, not even from lightyears away.

simple to say you’ve grown a little more… how can xiaojun put this into words? well, a little more outgoing. adventurous. meeting new people and going to new places and experiencing new things. he can see everything as clear as day—you were healing from your past, leaving the dark chapters in your life to write newer and brighter ones that revolved on having actual healthy relationships for once. 

his seething anger of his failed plans had made all the windows in your apartment burst into thousand little pieces. if you had fine china dishes displayed on your kitchen cabinets he would’ve broken those too. how can you go against him like this? look at you all happy and smiley even as the room turned ice cold because of xiaojun’s suffocating presence. you never even thought once about it—how naive. 

tormenting you through dreams isn’t working anymore. xiaojun has to up his game if he wants to break you down and revert you back to that paranoid, sensitive, and frail self that couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, and couldn’t talk to any other human being without feeling the ghost of your abusive step-father’s hands against your skin. 

who says he can only control you through mind games alone? after he’s done what needs to be done, grief and self-pity will go hand in hand. a combination so cruel and heavy on your shoulders that xiaojun can already savor the metallic tangy taste of victory. 

“no! yeji—!”

xiaojun watches unblinking when he makes one of your new friends walk out the sidewalk and right into an overspeeding car. 

tires skidding across the pavement, the breaks not working, glass shattering, bones cracking against the force of the hit—dead, right on the fucking spot.

he’s never heard you scream that loud and he shudders in pleasure as the vibrations of your shrill voice courses through his veins. 

he missed this, your complete and utter misery. 

but he wasn’t done yet. 

“don’t you think it’s a ‘lil chilly in here?” ryujin asks, looking over to your side before drinking the hot chocolate she prepared for both of you. 

grieving together with a friend can be good, hence why you’re now in her apartment a month later after yeji’s funeral. 

you answer after taking a sip. “no, not really.” 

xiaojun grins, giddy and a skip in his step while making his way towards you as he side-eyes your friend, who religiously drank her hot chocolate all the while bundling up next to you so you both can watch the movie together playing on the laptop. 

this one, well, he particularly doesn’t like this one. 

if your other friend was meant to be a casualty, a death borne from not one smidge of personal vendetta, this one, this ryujin is different. heck, he even remembers her fucking name.

no, no, no. xiaojun can feel his skin crawl as ryujin cuddles intimately closer as she stares at you from her peripheral, feeling out whether you’d react or not as she sneaks an arm around your waist. his anger turns a fever pitch, seeing you with someone else driving him up the wall. you were meant to be his sad and hopeless little gazelle and his alone.

xiaojun hoped the poison travels fast or so help him he’ll fucking rip her off of you—and he would’ve, when he saw you and ryujin slowly leaning into one another, head angled and obviously going in for a kiss. he would’ve, when one of ryujin’s hands come up to cup your face. he would’ve… until the poison reached its destination in her body, right when your lips were about to touch. 

ryujin’s lungs seized, breathing becoming an agent to her demise as the oxygen from her lungs disappear into nothingness. the last thing she saw is your horrified face, tears streaming. she swore you were shouting something, probably her name, but it’s overpowered by the incessant ring in her ears.

when her mouth foamed and she laid limp on the couch right next to you, you knew ryujin would never wake again to give you that kiss. 

xiaojun steps back to admire the havoc he wreaked. two of your friends dead, that should be enough to incapacitate you—whether it be permanent or not, he just wants to see you drown in misery. 

and as he slowly dissipates into the void, there’s a little smile on his face as he stares you down, burning the image of your histeria in his head, the echoes of your woeful cries music to his ears. 

you never dared step foot out of your apartment. 

groceries were delivered to your door, trash is slowly but surely building up, and the place was a whole mess. the entity haunting you has never seen you this… shattered, even when you left home. it was like your brain has stopped working and your body turned into nothing more but a cusp of who you used to be. 

it’s scary looking in the mirror and not recognizing the reflection—so, you painted all of them black. it was an in the heat of a moment kind of thing that took place the moment you came home from the police station, on the exact day she passed away before your eyes. 

xiaojun just has to “misplace” a few pints of paint you had used from when you renovated the apartment in the past, putting the cans where you can easily see them and think that the idea belonged to you when in reality, it’s the entity that put the idea in your head. 

there was a blanket over your shoulder when you came back from the station. it wasn’t yours, they gave it to you while you sat opposite to a stoic detective in a cold interrogation room, yet you made no move to shrug it off even after arriving at your apartment, fingers clutching the fabric like a lifeline and refusing to believe whatever that had transpired in ryujin’s apartment. 

eyes unseeing, stumbling with your steps, back hunched with the curse of the universe weighing down on your back—xiaojun couldn’t’ve been more proud of what he had done.

you were spiraling out of control. a self-destructive cycle you cannot seem to fight your way out of as your nightmares came back to haunt you. the tall waves of anxiety and paranoia drowning and pushing you under the surface. 

for once you don’t fight the current, you just let it pull you under. 

every time you close your eyes, you can hear the deafening screech of rubber tires against concrete before the car hits yeji. can vividly see the foams of the poison coming out of ryujin’s mouth as if it was caught on tape and is now playing on loop. 

your other friends have donned you as bad luck, cursed to have a fucked up life and will fuck up other people’s lives too if they get even as close as an arm length to you. too scared to lose any more people, you decided to completely push everyone away and had completely shut yourself out from the world beyond the four corners of your apartment. 

it’s like your trauma from before has come crawling back to you, only now, he brings himself a little friend called guilt. 

what are the odds that your two friends died after the other when the person they’ve each last spent time with was you? even the police found it too much a coincidence. if it wasn’t for the cctv cams in the corners of ryujin’s apartment, you’d be facing trial for a murder you didn’t commit. 

you eye the usb stuck in one of your laptop’s ports. it’s black, with an srj poisoning case written in red ink on the small patch of masking tape pasted onto the back of the plastic. 

after being stuck in an interrogation room for the last two hours, you had sneakily swiped it out of the detective's desk on your way out of the station. you remembered it was the usb with a copy of ryujin’s cctv cams, some underling busting into the interrogation room while in the middle of your questioning, holding the tiny usb between his fingers. 

your stomach churned when the detective looked at you spitefully, as if he couldn’t fucking care less of the evidence presented to him in a silver platter and would thoroughly take pleasure in throwing you in jail himself, guilty or not. the last look he shot you still sends shivers down your spine, the sharpness in his gaze as he regarded you. “you killed them. i know you did.”

a week of self-induced isolation later and you start to believe in it yourself. 

in the middle of screaming your lungs out and cursing the gods above for your sorry excuse of a life, you had thrown the usb somewhere in the apartment. not that you bothered to look for it right after, you were too busy wallowing in self pity before passing out on the living room floor. when you wake up, you’ve forgotten all about it. 

so it was interesting, seeing the usb again after days and days of wallowing in grief. you had fallen off the couch while in the middle of a slumber and you spotted the small piece of tech lying underneath it with the other empty coke cans. 

eyeing the laptop on the coffee table, you remember you haven’t taken a look at the evidence yourself—the detective had given you the stink eye when you tried shuffling closer to peep a look. carelessly, you shove all other objects off the table to pull the laptop closer. you plant yourself on the ground cross-legged, not batting an eyelash even when you feel the crumbs of chips against your skin. 

you boot the laptop on, thankful you’ve yet to forget its password, and plugged the usb in again. it was simple to navigate, to say the least, the folder popping up in a matter of seconds. you thought it stored a whole collection of her cctv footages but alas, it didn’t, saving you the time and energy scourging through unwanted boring files. 

hands shaking, you clicked on the video. 

and it was as if you’re thrown back into that event in your life that has now become a distant memory. the hug ryujin gave you when she opened the door, her words of comfort when you opened up about your deteriorating mental health after your friend passed away, and finally, the warm feel of the mug against the palm of your hand. 

wait a minute. 

you perk up from your seat, groaning aloud when your knee hits the underside of the coffee table at your haste, fingers darting around to press the back 10 seconds button. the sweat starts forming in your forehead and palms, making your hand feel clammy and disgusting but it was the last of your worries. 

did you see that correctly?

the quality is a bit low and the camera angle isn’t optimal. you can only see ryujin’s side profile but her glassy eyes are unmistakable and her actions look robotic at best. 

this is after she made your hot cocoa and had delivered it to your shivering, sniffling form on the couch, all bundled up snug and cozy in the blanket she provided. you remember ryujin winking as she walked back towards her kitchen after you thanked her. 

the way she poured poison in her own mug ruled her case as suicice. the evidence is right there in your face but the unease still sits heavy on your stomach and confusion clouds your brain like cannabis. 

this doesn’t make any sense. 

you knew her, ryujin. she’s never one to succumb to her negative emotions, always facing her problems with head held high. her overall mindset, in general, made her the last person you’d think would ever commit suicide. you’ve replayed the video a thousand times by now, still unable to wrap your head around the fact that she killed herself. 

having the sudden urge for another bottle of gatorade, you pressed the pause button as you try hauling yourself up with your arms. 

you pause. pushing your face closer to the laptop screen, rubbing at your eyes incredulously as you eye the corner of her kitchen. 

ryujin’s apartment isn’t that luxurious, nor is it too rundown, but there can be little exceptions here and there. 

like the cheap LED bulbs attached rather messily onto her ceiling, one of the six sources of light flickering on and off. you remember how many times you’ve told her to get it fixed yet she never really paid you any heed.

with shaking fingers, you replayed it one more time, hoping on everything you believe in that it wasn’t what it looks like. this can’t be it—how is that possible—

it’s him, the man who has appeared like an angel in your dream to sweep you away from evil. but standing in the corner, under the flickering lights of your friend’s kitchen, he looked anything but an angelic. 

your mind is going haywire, your body shook in confusion, and sweat started dribbling down your neck. you would’ve thought you made a mistake because how is this even possible? the angelic man in your dreams isn’t real—he can’t be real, he can’t appear like this when you aren’t even sleeping because he’s not real!

he can’t… right?

he doesn’t look too harmless, what with his hands crossed and leisurely leaning against the wall. but one look at his eyes and you know you’re wrong. even through the shit quality of the cctv footage you can still feel the fury and the absolute hate his eyes held as he stared her down menacingly, unblinking.

stared her down as she made her own cocoa, as she hunches down to open the sink cabinets to get that pesky rat poison, as she poured it on her mug, as she swirls the spoon around to mix the deadly concoction all together in a hauntingly robotic way that looked too much like ryujin was being told what to do.

and as you let the video play the rest of its content and felt like the tragedy was unfolding right before your very eyes again—you couldn’t breathe, panic gripping onto you like a vice, the sharp talons of fear sinking deep under your skin. 

you don’t register the coffee table toppling over in your haste to stand up. desperately putting a distance between you and the laptop as you turned and stumbled towards the hallway leading to your bedroom. 

you stop, pathetically landing on your knees before the open archway. if you hadn’t been shaking in fear before, then you surely were now. 

he’s here—can you even call it a he?

the man stands at the end of the hallway. in that similar, non-threatening stature with his arms crossed and body leaning against the wall. 

but the mischief in his eyes is enough of a warning. 

he’s come for you. 

he’s come to finish the job. 

“finally figured it out?”

you screamed, throwing the closest thing you can at him as you shuffle someplace else in your apartment. his laugh sounded pleasant in the ear when you were off in dreamland, but now? it sounded like nails grating against a chalkboard. 

your legs eventually led you to the front door. appearances be damned. you weren’t even wearing a bra and you haven’t showered for days but fuck no you’re not going to stay here with that—that—that monster!

“baby, don’t leave! the fun hasn’t even started yet!”

you grab the doorknob and twist, practically throwing yourself out into the hallway, eyes frantic as you stumble and land face first against—

sticky. the floor’s sticky and there was a smell you can’t seem to pinpoint. it’s tangy, metallic, and you can almost taste the scent yourself in your tongue and when you look down—you want to throw up. 

lying next to each other in pools of their own blood, lies yeji and ryujin side by side, faces towards each other. their eyes hauntingly empty and unseeing as they stared up at you. 

you shrieked, voice scratching against your dry throat as you threw yourself back into your apartment, the door slamming shut in itself. you didn’t care if there’s now a huge mess of blood staining the carpets on the foyer. you curl in on yourself, hair sticking to your face as you covered your ears and shut your eyes. 

“oh, my love…”

you felt his presence before you can hear him. 

a flashback plays in your head—hot chocolate, soft blankets, and a friend who you loved with all your heart. “don’t you think it’s a little chilly in here?"

you answered. “no, not really?”

the tears start streaming like waterfalls, mixing with the blood and sweat already caked in your face. ryujin knew, she felt it back at her apartment yet you disregarded her completely.

“it’s not your fault,” the entity’s hands are ice cold when he gently pulls at your wrist. “everything is as it should be. now, open your eyes. there’s nothing to be afraid of. i’m not going to hurt you.”

stubbornly, you shook your head as you squeezed your lids even tighter, refusing to look at the monster dead in the eye.

“don’t be like that, my love. if i wanted to hurt you, i would’ve done it a long time ago.”

you don’t listen, hunching and curling your knees even more against your torso as you try to block out his voice. it’s unfair how gentle it sounded but your blood ran cold when you realize this is how he got ryujin to poison herself, this is how he got yeji to walk in front of a speeding car—

“hail mary, full—full of grace,” you pray under your breath, shaking like a leaf. “the lord… the lord is with thee. blessed art thou among women…”

“you’re praying?” there’s an underlying mocking to e in his voice. “this is fucking hilarious!”

your incessant mumbling partnered with how you rocked your body back and forth, made something snap within xiaojun. he already stated he won’t hurt you! did he break you so much that now you’re unable to hear stuff properly, too?

“holy mary, mo—mother of god, pray for us sinners, now and—and at the hour of our death, amen. hail mary, full of grace…”

“stop.” his body twitches, having the sudden urge to pull all his hair out and burn this fucking building to the ground.

yet you continue. “the lord is with thee, blessed art thou among—among women and blessed is the… the fruit of thy womb, jesus…”

“i said stop, [name]. don’t fucking test me.”

“holy mary, mother of god—pray—pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our—”

you screeched in pain as your forehead comes in contact with a mirror, the sound of it shattering is deafening to the ears. his icy fingers let go of your nape, letting you fall hard to the ground. your ears perk up at the sound of streaming water. 

you weren’t in the foyer anymore, you feel cold tiles instead of the rough texture of the dirty carpet underneath you. eyes fluttering, you slowly pry them open, and the first thing you see is the faulty pipes found underneath your bathroom’s sink. patches of your clothes start getting wet. 

“you think a prayer of all things can stop me? i’m insulted!” you hiss when he grabs your face, hands so cold that it feels like you’re skin is burning off. “i was going to play nice.”

he pulls you towards him, hand encased around your throat. he shoves the open hair dryer into the half-filled bath tub as you feel him vibrate against you. “you don’t know how long i waited, how much energy i needed to appear to you like this.”

it’s with dread you realize that he’s actually giggling.

you whine, eyes feeling like it’ll pop out of their sockets when he squeezed your neck tighter. with a sudden rush of adrenaline, you anchor your wrists against his arm but it proves to be useless when he’s too strong. 

“please,” you wheezed. “i did… i did nothing wrong. let go—please.”

in the corner of your eyes, you stare at him from the mirror, stomach twisting in discomfort when you see him throwing his head back, eyes rolling up after taking a long whiff of your hair. “this—this fear you have, my love, only makes me stronger.”

“nothing… i did nothing wrong—please! please… let, let me go…” you’re starting to feel lightheaded, black spots floating around your vision. 

“nothing? are you sure about that?” 

you cringe when he licks up the tears in your face, toes curling at the sheer disgust you feel. but the words he spews next is far worse than the hand he’s wrapped around your throat. 

“didn’t you left your mom alone with that abusive asshole? didn’t you make yeji walk into that incoming car? didn’t you make ryujin drink that poison?”

he whispers them so softly, so gently that you almost mistook them as proclamations of love. 

“no…” your voice breaks. 

“yes. yes, you did,” he knew you like the back of his hand, knew what to say and how to say them for you to break in his arms. “you killed them, my love. you’re a murderer. you don’t even deserve to be alive after all of the things you’ve done.”

it’s almost pathetic how you shake your head, eyes closed, refusing to acknowledge the truth. 

“that’s… that’s not true…”

“you’re a curse to the people you love, the embodiment of they're suffering. don’t you see it?”

“stop lying!—”

“am i?” he retorts, maneuvering you around to face the mirror. you swore you covered the whole thing with black paint. “just look at yourself.”

oh, how badly he wants to shove your face against the mirror but he mustn't get ahead of himself. 

“did any of your friends even visit you to see how you’re doing?” no, they never did. he smiles like he knows what you’re thinking. “the answer is all before you now, my love. you need to see through the haze and accept it for what it really is. no one loves you. even the god you’re praying to didn’t answer. there’s nothing, no one, left.”

and for the first time since he has you in his tight hold, you stopped fighting. sobs wracking through your body as your shoulders slump and accept defeat. 

xiaojun automatically lets you go, cooing like a lover in your ear as he tucks you into his embrace. “you want this all to stop, don’t you? someone to save you?”

you nodded, unable to look at him as his hand came up to wipe away your tears. no one has ever done that for you in months ever since yeji and ryujin died.

“i’m here,” xiaojun says, running fingers through your hair comfortingly. “i’m your light, your only saviour. you want that, right, my love?” choice is a mere illusion but he likes keeping up with formalities. 

you fail to notice the steps he took towards the now overflowing bathtub, too lost in the new highs and lows of emotions you feel. 

“yes.”

it only took seconds to push you into the tub. its water buzzing with a live electric current brought by the hair dryer he dropped only minutes ago.

the effect is instantaneous. he watches your muscle spasm, your skin growing darker as the live water fries your body alive. quickly, xiaojun reaches down to lift your head out the water, not wanting to ruin your pretty face.

the last thing you feel is xiaojun’s cold lips pressing against your own, the gentle caress as he wiped your tears away… and the electricity finally passing through your heart. 

when the entity pulls away from your dead body, he only whispers three things—“mine, at last.”

[princeescaluswords]

Why does the fairly well adjusted, kindhearted teenager with no training in using lethal force not use lethal force? Hmmm? Got you there, Scott fans!!!!!

Interesting observation.  It’s like you watched the show!

Someone was talking to me, last night in fact, that they believe there’s a reason many fans don’t like Scott.  They said that many parts of the fandom resent that the show, in its lead, rejected “their preferred narrative of worshiping inherited power and/or power attained through violence.”  I can’t really argue with it.  I tend to focus on the racial aspect of fandom dislike, yet I think that they’re interrelated.  It’s not just that Scott rejects the possibility of succeeding through lethal violence, it’s that he rejects it when doing so is not offered to white characters.

There are white male characters in the show who not only possess the capacity for lethal violence, they employ it as often as they can, yet it’s never shown as a victory.  Peter murders ten people, even criminals in police custody, even innocent people, even allies, even family members, and it’s never portrayed as triumphant.  Even his executions of Jennifer and the Mute are portrayed as signs of incipient madness and bloody horror.  Derek fails miserably at trying to kill people other than his own family member which brings him nothing put pain, and loses his replacement pack in the process.  Matt is more successful, but his motivations are shown as rather pathetic deficiencies in his personality.   Gerard keeps getting screwed by his own strategies.  Stiles is almost destroyed by the lethal violence he grasps for in desperation.  

To these parts of the audience, that’s not how it’s supposed to be.   Think about other examples of supernatural shows on television: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, True Blood, The Vampire Diaries, the Originals, etc.  Violence -- especially death in judgement -- is the prerogative of protagonists.  In fact, one of the ways they mark the protagonist in these shows is the casualness of how they approach lethal violence.  How many times did Buffy casually kill vampire extras like an afterthought? Don’t get me wrong, I love BTVS, but Buffy’s execution of vampires is ultimately reduced to something banal, like brushing her teeth.

Connected to this is a number of tropes that they love, especially that of aristocratic  or superior white men -- deprived of their rightful place or recognition in the world -- conquering those who oppress them and punishing them, even killing them, and thus they reassert justice in the world.  It’s literally written into the genetics of fiction that the hero kills the villain.

Yet, the audience has trouble remembering that the biggest victim -- though not the only victim -- of Season 1 is Scott McCall.  He had a life -- not a great one, but not a bad one either -- he had hopes and dreams.  He didn’t want to sit on the sidelines anymore, he wanted to play first line and he worked for it.  His father was neglectful, but he had a great mom and a fantastic best friend.  

When Peter chooses him to become his murder assistant, it all goes downhill from there.  He lies to his mother.  He stalks Stiles in the locker room  and disappoints him repeatedly due to his lycanthropy.  It threatens his relationship with Allison.   Derek manipulates him and uses him to hunt and kill the alpha.  Peter violates him and threatens his loved ones.  The Argent parents’ whole purpose in life is to kill him.   This injustice can’t be solved through lethal violence; this injustice is caused by lethal violence.  

And yet, the audience gets confused when he tells Deucalion “I’m not like you. I don’t have to kill people.”   It just doesn’t occur to them (the villains or parts of the fandom) that Scott simply doesn’t want to be forced to do to others what was done to him.  People complain that he’s a hypocrite because he makes first line due to his werewolf abilities while disliking being a werewolf, as if he’s supposed to stop playing and focus on being the Hale Family’s newest servant in gratitude.   Yeah, he gets power, but the cost is constantly too high, such as when Stiles compliments Erica’s appearance in Season 2, and Scott says “How good do you think she's gonna look with a wolfsbane bullet in her head?”  Scott’s breaking the established script the audience expected, where he learns to relish his power over others.   When Derek manipulates Scott into believing that he has to kill the alpha to be human again, Scott’s determination to do it is not presented as Scott’s decision to serve justice but as Scott’s desperation to make the nightmare end.  

Yet it doesn’t end, does it?  Do we ever see Scott have a season enjoying first line at all?  Do you think he loved being a werewolf when he held Allison’s dead body in his arms or watched Kira join the Skin-walkers?  When he used his supernatural hearing to listen to his mother cry or Dr. Geyer struggle to save her life?  When he watched Derek fall from the ledge in the mall and think it was his fault?  He rejected the capacity to do lethal violence to others as a way of reasserting justice in the world because he never saw the use of violence successfully restore anything.   Peter’s defeat in Season 1 and 4 ended a nightmare -- it didn’t erase the monumental changes to his and his friend’s lives, the horror they lived through.  Matt died miserably; Gerard died miserably; Jennifer died miserably; Derek gathered more pain into himself.  No one lived happily ever after because they could kill the people who hurt them -- they just continued the cycle.  

Scott’s development as a protagonist -- and, not coincidentally, his subversiveness as a character in an action-adventure show -- hinges on his increasing capability to employ lethal violence as a corrective, while constantly repudiating it as anything but an unfortunate and painful necessity.  Do you notice that he never talks about or takes pride in the defeat of his enemies?  Not Peter, not Derek, not Gerard, not Jennifer, not the Nogitsune, not Kate or Theo or The Beast or Douglas or the Anuk Ite.  He defeats them and then he’s done.  There’s no celebration of the defeat of the enemies, like Ewoks dancing while burning stormtrooper helmets at the end of Return of the Jedi.  He employs violence when he has to, he regrets the necessity, but he doesn’t dwell on what they did to him. Instead, he has hope for Peter and Deucalion and Theo.   

Why?  Because the motivation to reassert justice in the world by punishing enemies - the privilege of other heroes - is what ruined his life in the first place.  Lethal violence invaded his life and changed it, down to his very nature.  He’s never going to treasure it.  He’s never going to turn to it first.  Why should he?  

[hecksee]

Stained Flowers

Hi this is angsty af but im struggling right now so imma project onto fictional characters

Sorry @lumosinlove I like making Leo suffer

this is my entry for the @hpbrokenhearts ​ contest, i started out writing this when i was struggling, and tbh i still am, but it’s gotten a lot better. 

Much thanks to the wonderful @iswearimnotanaestheticgirl for editing this monstrosity. You wrecked carnage on it, but it helped so much and I love this end result so much. 

Thank you so much to @peggyrose19 and @marauderss-hp for looking this over and giving me suggestions! 

This is probably inaccurate but I don’t know anything about hockey, and this is fanfic so who cares about the accuracy. 

THIS COULD DEFINITELY BE TRIGGERING, PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

TW suicidal thoughts, suicide attempt, its got a TINY bit of spice sprinkled in (i would rate this teen probably, mature if i was being extra safe), major character death, stress, homophobia, one sided pining, hanakhai, vomiting, something thats sort of like a suicide note, and a shit load of angst

Read on A03 here

Leo knew he was screwed the moment he saw Finn O'Hara on the screen for the first time. He knew he was gonna fall hard. It didn't matter that they had never met or that Leo’s attraction was purely physical. He knew that he would want everything with Finn.

But then Leo started to fall deeper and deeper over time, time that was spent mostly spent obsessing over Finn. Only a few weeks after Leo saw Finn for the first time, it started.

Everybody knew about hanahaki. When someone felt unrequited love, a seed sprouted in their lungs. Nobody knew how or why the seed appeared but it was inevitable. 

The victim would start coughing up flower petals, and if their feelings grew, the flowers would grow larger until the victim couldn’t breath because their lungs were filled with nothing but blossoms.

There were only three things someone with hanahaki could do. The main solution was to surgically remove the flowers but have all feelings of love vanish. And some said it was impossible to ever love another person.

So Leo knew exactly what was going on when he started coughing up small yellow petals a few weeks after he first saw Finn on screen. 

But, over the next few months he learned to recognize the signs. The tingling in the back of his throat before he started coughing up the silky yellow petals. The itch in his left lung when people mentioned Finn O'Hara. The stabbing pain toward the left of his chest when his teammates threw around homophobic slurs and comments like beads at Marti Gras is nothing new, but now it's accompanied with a burning sensation in his lungs and bloody daffodils.

The daffodils. The fucking daffodils. He decided to look the meaning of the cheery flowers up one day. Unrequited love. After that Leo laughed humorlessly, and decided that hanahaki had a fucked up sense of humor.

Somehow, Leo made it through a full year while coughing up a mixture of blood and petals. He learned how to hide it, how to excuse himself from a situation, and how to choke the petals back down while playing. He made sure that nothing would impact his career, no matter how much longer he had left.

Leo feared that his time was almost up some days. On those days, he wondered Why was he alive? Why did only the left lung sting? Wouldn't it just be better to end it than to live through the constant pain?

He almost made it through a year keeping his hanahaki a secret. 

Well, almost. His mom walked in on him cleaning the daffodils smeared with red off the floor, and he had promptly broken down in tears.

He had ended up telling her everything, how he was gay, how he hated himself for it, how he sometimes thought it would be better to just end it all instead, who he loved and why.

His mom had made him tell his coach, insisting it was for the best. There had been a major fight between the coach and him. Leo was yelling and crying but standing his ground about how he needed to play. How playing was the only thing he was living for, damn it. Leo had ended up winning, so he kept playing. And just like before, he kept the hanahaki a secret from everyone, especially his team.

But then, he found out why only his left lung stung. Logan Tremblay. The latest player that was drafted to the Lions. He was newly minted, fresh from Harvard university. Short, broad, brunet, green eyed rookie Tremz. 

As soon as Logan stepped out onto the ice for the first time Leo felt that telltale sting. But it was on the right side of his chest for the first time. Fuck, I'm not having unrequited love from one person, but from two?! 

His right lung had irises. Royalty, the Fleur-De-Lis, France. Leo didn’t know how those things related to Logan but he could take a guess. Logan was French Canadian born and raised, that had to mean something. 

Leo’s life went on. Now he had double the work of fighting the flowers down. Two names instead of one. Leo could tell there was something between Fish and Logan. The intense stares they gave each other across the rink meant something. The tension between them one day had just disappeared. Leo saw something as Logan's hot temper reared up whenever Harzy got into a fight or got hurt. 

The signs grew. Rainbow tape on their sticks, posting LGBTQ+ supporting messages on the team Instagram; small things you’d need to look out for, or know exactly what they meant to know the significance. 

The real confirmation was when the official Lions Instagram posted the picture of Logan and Finn kissing at a pride parade, smudged bi flags painted on both of their cheeks. 

The caption read “We are aware of the homophobia in the league, however, two of our players aren’t willing to hide their relationship from the public anymore. Both Tremz and Harzy have our full support.” 

The moment he saw it, the feeling of petals started to itch in the back of Leo’s throat, but he gagged them back as he scrolled through the comments. They were filled with the expected bigotry and homophobia with the occasional biphobic comment. Yet scattered in were the kind comments, full of support, rays of sunshine on a raining day.

Leo started typing out a comment of his own, telling the happy couple how happy he was for them. But the lie was rancid in his head. The flowers Leo had been choking back came up in a wave of blood. 

Before Leo got hanahaki, the few dreams he had were filled with a faceless man. One that would kiss him and fuck him, but now, now there were two men. And they had faces. 

Finn O'Hara and Logan Tremblay haunted Leo's dreams in the best way possible, more nights than not. Sweet soft kisses, hands tangled in auburn or brown hair, gently worshiping the hard planes and angles that came from a lifelong dedication to hockey were commonplace in Leo's dreams. 

In stark contrast, some nights were filled with sloppy, urgent kisses, nails scratching on backs, and a pure need for release. But the dreams would always end, and Leo was left with the burning pain of self loathing building up in his throat before the flowers would make themselves known.

During this dream, Leo had been on fire all night, and it was thanks to him that the team had been led to victory. So here he was with his boyfriends, celebrating. 

Leo leaned up to give Finn a soft kiss before turning onto his side and beginning to kiss Logan's neck. Finn had started to ruin Leo and didn't stop until Leo had hit the peak of his pleasure.

However, the aftermath of Leo's pleasure was slowly but surely turning into pain. Suddenly the metallic tang of blood was clogging his throat and the familiar smooth petals were filling his mouth. 

The flowers and blood were dripping out of his mouth, and seeping into the white bed sheets. Even worse was that Finn and Logan seemed unsurprised.  no, they were almost happy. Their gentle murmurings of praise turned into cold raucous laughter. In between the harsh laughter they told him how stupid he was, how he was a nobody, how they would never love him.

As the flowers only got worse, coming up in waves and mingled with the tears that were rolling down his face, Finn and Logan vanished. Then he was falling, falling, falling. 

He woke with a start, his heart pounding in his chest, lungs gasping for air in between choking sobs; lying in a combination of petals and blood. His face was sticky with tears and warm, wet blood, and a few stray yellow and white-ish purple petals stuck to his skin. The only indicator that Leo's dream wasn't all bad was the stickiness in his underwear. But the worst part was that he was alone, stuck with only fantasies, once again.

The next day, Leo knew that practice would be bad. Even though yesterday his team was idolizing the Lions, they sure as hell wouldn’t be idolizing them right now. Practice was full of his teammates throwing around a myriad of slurs. The locker-room was even worse, where the coach wasn’t there to monitor their comments. 

Leo fidgeted with his bracelet, uncomfortable with the comments that were flying around, with the flowers edging up his throat. He didn’t remember what happened next. 

One minute Leo’s fidgeting with his bracelet, the next he’s yelling. Yelling about how people aren’t judged by their sexuality, how hell, maybe there even was a gay person in the room! To that he was obviously asked if he was the gay one, to which, he responded yes. Leo stormed out of the room to a soundtrack, suppressing the flowers fighting their way up his throat as soundtrack of cruel laughter and biting words rang around the room, just like the ones in his dream. 

The next day he dreaded going to practice. He knows he won’t be welcome on the team anymore, so what’s the point of going?

Leo ended up just texting his old coach that he was resigning. His team broadcasted the fact that he’s gay on their Instagram. Now Leo’s the target of the myriad of hate that Finn and Leo faced. It made him sick to his stomach. Seconds later, he was puking into the toilet. No flowers this time, but still unpleasant. 

He still walked with dragging steps to the rink and practiced, of course. He didn’t want to lose his skills when he attempts to go pro. Trying to ignore the fact that he knows no one will take him now. 

Out of the blue, three days after Leo outed himself, his phone rings shrilly. Marlene McKinnon. The Lions announcer. Why was she calling him?

Marlene asked him to play for the Lions because he had great potential. Leo hesitated. Did she not know that he was gay? He pensively inquired about his sexuality, how would that impact his place on the team? 

To his surprise, Marlene told him it wouldn’t influence anything. Leo was shocked, but in the happy way. Then she asked if he had any health conditions. Just like the thing about his sexuality, Leo hesitated. Eventually he nodded and said yes. 

It’s hanahaki, he told her in a slow voice, but it doesn’t impact my playing.

Fucking lie. 

Marlene was silent for a moment but then put him on hold with some shaky words. 5 minutes later, she agrees to let him play, on the condition that his hanahaki doesn’t get worse, and if it does, he needs to have them removed. Leo agreed, and suddenly, Leo was going professional. 

Sure, Leo was worried about becoming a Lion; his subjects of affection were there and they were in a happy relationship. But over time, and many, many practices filled with words thrown at O’Hara and Tremblay, he had learned to choke back the petals. 

After a few months, the day came where Leo was leaving. With many tears, and a lot of goodbyes, Leo left for Gryffindor. After a couple long flights, and a short taxi ride, Leo stepped out of the car to Hogwarts. 

Inside the rink, he was greeted with the signature smell of a hockey arena, he couldn’t quite describe it, but it was pleasant, and reminded Leo of home. 

In a blink, he was bombarded with maroon and gold, hugs and welcoming words. When he turned his head from the excitement, he saw them. Finn and Logan, standing back with Pascal Dumais, who he was going to move in with. 

After meeting everyone and flipping out while Finn and Logan give him a hug while swallowing down the familiar liquid and petals that up, Leo was informed that he won’t be living with the Dumais’ after all. 

“You’ll be living with Finn and Logan, I hope that’s alright?”

Leo quickly excuses himself to the bathroom to let the mixture of flowers, blood, and bile out. 

But Leo ended up moving in with Fish and Tremz. However over the weeks, he formed a close bond with both Finn and Logan. Of course, he became closer with the rest of the team, Loops especially. Hell, Leo has a feeling that Loops knows what it feels like to love someone who will never love him back. 

But after Sirius and Loops get together, Leo knew that he’s the only one who will never get the privilege of having requited love. 

Leo was glad that he had managed to keep it a secret from the team. Well, there were some people he had to tell. After all, Remus was the team medic. Remus was keeping it a secret from the team and the public. But Remus didn’t know who was triggering Leo’s love. The only people who knew were Leo and his mother. 

Each practice where the two of them do anything lovey dovey, Leo needs to be excused while he chokes back the flowers that are bringing themselves up his throat. But his goalie face hadn't been developed over happy things, so he shoved his feelings back and forced himself to remain calm, pretending to support their relationship; which he did, of course he did, but Leo wished more than anything that he was there with them. Leo wishes he was there in between them, wishes he was the one holding hands with them, and sharing sweet soft kisses with them. 

Hell, more than once in the time when Leo was with the Lions he considered ending it all. The thoughts weren’t new, no, he’d been struggling with them since he had realized he was gay. But now, with the objects of Leo’s affection so close yet so far, he didn’t know if it would be worth living.

But then one day, about three years after the hanahaki had started, Leo woke up with agonizing pain in his chest, like someone was squeezing a palm around his heart. He thought back. The aching had worsened every time he interacted Finn and Logan. Now the flowers were coming up almost every hour of every day. The tingling feeling is now always at the back of his mind. As soon as Leo thought about Finn and Logan he felt flowers coming up. 

The flowers are accompanied with a burning pain instead of a small stab. All of the flowers are full blossoms, a few with stems and leaves. They’d be perfect and prim, beautiful, if they weren’t coated in enough blood to look like a murder scene. 

This was it; this was one of his last days, if not his last. 

With slow robotic steps, Leo stands up, taking some deep breaths. He fished a pen and a notebook from his cabinet, and started to write four letters.

The words to his family tell them how sorry he was at how bad he was at hiding his worsening hanahaki, how much he loves them, and how he wishes he could have said goodbye in person. 

“I’m sorry for causing you pain.”

In the letter towards the team he apologized for hiding his disease and explained how thankful he was to be a part of his dream team. He told them how different the Lions were to his old teams, how they were a family and how they loved each other no matter what, regardless of their differences.

“Thank you for being like a family to me.” 

In the one addressed to Logan and Finn, Leo explained how they were the subjects of his attraction, how much they influenced his life coming out by choice, consequences be damned. Through blood, sweat, tears and flowers, he found himself rattling on and on about how much he loved them, how he fell in love with them, and how much he valued the friendship they had; even if it was just friendship. Leo’s hand lingered as he thought about it. Would this letter cause the two of them to blame themselves? Should he really write it? 

No. He had to. Leo added a note telling them not to. It wasn’t their fault, it was his choice. 

He brushed away the crimson mess. With droplets of blood staining his fingers, Leo starts on the final and most formal letter. 

Leo wrote vaguely in this letter. He told that he did have hanahaki, and how he had dealt with it for years before he joined the Lions. He publicly commends the Lions for being so accepting of him, even though he had hanahaki and he was gay. Finally, he thanked his fans for staying with him through it all. 

Then, with all the letters finished, Leo sealed them in envelopes and wrote to whom they are addressed to. Gingerly, Leo placed them on his nightstand and prepared for his final practice. 

During practice Leo told everyone how much he appreciates them, which wasn’t too unusual, so nobody took much notice. Otherwise, practice was uneventful. Leo blocked some passes as they prepped for their game with Hufflepuff next week. 

Leo was coughing almost nonstop during practice but he chokes back the blood, bile, and flowers. He allowed himself to think that this is the last time he’d have to push it down. The aching pain in his chest doesn’t subside, if anything it only grew worse the longer practice goes on. 

Leo walked into the locker-room, preparing to take a shower and stretch before heading home when the aching in his chest grew. He could hear the blood pumping in his ears and the world around him blurred. He swayed, unsteady on his feet, trying not to cry or scream. His breaths were labored, he was becoming lightheaded and his heart was pounding in his chest. The pain became too much to bear and Leo’s legs failed on him.

The team rushes over with concerned expressions on their faces. On his knees, the flowers, stems, and leaves start to come up, splattering all over the cold ground, no matter what Leo does to try and keep them back. The team became frenzied, calling for Remus. 

It was too late. Leo knew that this was his end. 

Once, when Leo was little, he asked his grandmother why people didn't just get the flowers removed. She smiled at him sadly and told him that, there might be a person you loved so much you couldn't bear the idea of not loving them. Even if you died for it. 

At the time, he brushed it off as stupid but now, now as tears sqeezed through his blurry vision and the feeling of the cold tile floor disappears, he understands exactly what she meant. 

The last thought that went through his mind, before the petals, flowers, and blood came up for the last time, was of his two loves. In an instant, all of his fantasies of Finn and Logan melted into the reality of their friendship and flew past his eyes. With one last satisfied smile, Leo closed his eyes. His grandma was right. 

Some love really was worth dying for.

Just a quick reminder, this is my entry for @hpbrokenhearts so if you liked this fic or it made you cry/broke your heart, please put a broken heart in the comments, either in emoji form or not! Thank you so much for reading!!!

[latte-fairytaekwoon]

𝑀𝑎𝑓𝑖𝑎! 𝐴𝑡𝑒𝑒𝑧: 𝑆𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑜𝑛𝑒 𝐵𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑠 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝐻𝑜𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑊𝑖𝑡ℎ 𝑇ℎ𝑒𝑖𝑟 𝑃𝑟𝑒𝑔𝑛𝑎𝑛𝑡 𝑊𝑖𝑓𝑒 𝐼𝑛𝑠𝑖𝑑𝑒

Disclaimer: In no way am I condoning, supporting, justifying or encouraging mafia activities or lifestyle. This is all fictional and not meant to represent real life scenarios.

°• ✾ •°𝓚𝓲𝓶 𝓗𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓳𝓸𝓸𝓷𝓰°• ✾ •°

You were currently locked inside a secret room in your mansion. Hongjoong specifically had it made for situations like this. Even though the possibilities of someone finding you were slim to none, you were still frightened. You just wanted Hongjoong to get there as fast as he could and comfort you.

As if on cue, the door opened and Hongjoong appeared. You immediately got up and held onto him as if your life depended on it, the tears you've been holding in now finally pouring out.

"Shhh calm down honey, it's ok. I'm here now, don't cry." Hongjoong ran his fingers through your hair in an effort to comfort you, get you to calm down.

"I was so scared. I kept thinking they'd find me and maybe harm me or our.."

You couldn't finish the last part, but Hongjoong knew what you meant when you placed a hand protectively around your baby bump. He smiled at you softly and put one of his hands on top of yours.

"I promised that I'd take care of you both and I'm not breaking that promise. Don't be scared anymore, I won't let anyone hurt either one of you."

°• ✾ •°𝓟𝓪𝓻𝓴 𝓢𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝔀𝓪°• ✾ •°

Seonghwa was currently trying to discuss a possible merge with another gang. Things seemed to be going pretty well, both sides satisfied with what the other had to offer. They were finishing up details on the contract when one of Seonghwa's men burst in, interrupting the meeting.

"Sir! Your wife just called! Some enemy broke into your house!" The man exclaimed, trying hard to catch his breath.

Seonghwa completely forgot about the meeting. Not wanting to waste another second, he ordered his car to be ready as he ran out of the room, some protests and groaning heard from the other people in the room.

But Seonghwa didn't care. You and the child you were carrying were his top priority. That's how he went well above the speed limit so he could reach the house in time to save you. Once making sure you were both all right, he started packing a few things.

"I'm taking you to stay somewhere else. I'm not risking anything again."

°• ✾ •°𝓙𝓮𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓾𝓷𝓱𝓸°• ✾ •°

At first, Yunho wasn't going to take the call, but when they told him it was you, he immediately took it, knowing you wouldn't interrupt a meeting if it wasn't an emergency.

"Baby? What's wrong? Is everything ok? Oh my god! Please don't tell me the baby is already on the way!" He kept rambling on.

"No, not that. However ..... we have a little problem..." You stated.

"What kind of problem?" Yunho asked.

"Well, I heard glass shattering in the living room, so I went to look-"

"You went to look?! What if it was someone breaking in?!" Yunho scolded you.

"Well you hit the nail on the head, it was someone breaking in." You sighed.

"What?! I'm on my way! Stay calm! I'll bring back up just in case." Yunho was already grabbing his car keys.

"Can you also bring one of the medical staff?" You asked kinda sheepishly.

"Why?! Are you hurt?! Is our baby hurt?!" Yunho felt like he was getting a heart attack.

"No....but the guy who broke in is. You see, I was in the kitchen, so before I went to check, I was holding a frying pan.... and I may or may not have hit him really hard on the head with it and....well he ain't moving." You confessed rather awkwardly.

Yunho stood silent on the other line, trying to process all of this. He didn't know whether to laugh or get mad or just continue freaking out.

"Well I guess it's good to know you can still defend yourself. I'm on my way."

He shook his head as he hung up.

"That girl is gonna be the death of me."

°• ✾ •°𝓚𝓪𝓷𝓰 𝓨𝓮𝓸𝓼𝓪𝓷𝓰°• ✾ •°

Yeosang kept fidgeting his finger on the armrest of his chair. He couldn't concentrate anymore on what was being said at the meeting. His mind was thinking about you, worrying about you and your baby's safety. He knew he could trust the men he sent to go help you out, but he was still worried about you. Perhaps he should have gone himself, he kept thinking that.

One of his men quietly came up to him and whispered.

"Your wife is safe. We found the intruder and we have locked him up. You have nothing else to worry about."

Yeosang released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. He thanked the man before excusing himself from the meeting. He neglected you for too long. Upon seeing you, he ran to you and hugged you tightly.

"Thank God you're both all right!"

You could tell he was becoming emotional so you smiled to ease his worry.

"Yes, we're fine. Nothing happened." You assured him.

He took your hands in his and looked down.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there myself..."

You leaned up and kissed his cheek.

"I trust you Yeosang, you know that. I know that even if it's not you personally, you'll still protect us no matter what. That's why I'm never scared." You confessed.

Yeosang felt immensely happy when you said that. He kissed your forehead and held your growing belly.

"Thank you for never doubting me or my love for you both."

°• ✾ •°𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓢𝓪𝓷°• ✾ •°

San burst into the house, not caring that he literally busted his own front door down. He signaled for his men to quietly search around, not wanting you to be more frightened than what you probably already were. He searched in your bedroom.

"Y/N?" He called out to you.

Slowly, you peeked out from underneath the bed.

"San?" You asked.

"Y/N! What the-"

He walked over and pulled you out.

"Out of all the places, you choose to hide underneath the bed? You could hurt yourself or our baby!" He began fussing around as he gently rubbed your barely visible bump.

"Oh relax. I'm not that far along yet, and leave me alone! I panicked and that's the nearest place I could think of." You pouted and crossed your arms.

San chuckled at how cute you were and cupped your cheeks.

"You're so adorable." He pecked your lips.

One of his men interrupted you two.

"Sir, perimeter is clear, no sign of any intruder anymore."

San's smile disappeared and was replaced by a scowl.

"Fine. Search for any clues that could give out their identity. Report back to me when you find something." He ordered.

"Right away sir."

San turned back to you, who was standing with a smirk.

"What?" He asked.

"Your duality seriously is no joke." You teased him.

San giggled and pulled you into a hug, kissing your cheek repeatedly.

"I'm just really soft for you and our little jelly bean."

°• ✾ •°𝓢𝓸𝓷𝓰 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓲°• ✾ •°

"Mingi! I think someone broke into the house!"

Your voice echoed through the entire room, as Mingi had put you on speaker.

"What?! What do you mean?!" He asked.

"There's a mess all over the living room and kitchen! The couch is ripped up and several furniture is turnt over!" You were shouting now.

"Oh my god! I just heard some shuffling..." Your voice suddenly went quiet.

"Baby....just stay down and we'll be there." Him and the other members were already getting their guns ready.

"I see something moving in the corner! It's still here! It's it's-"

"Just lock yourself in the safe room!" Mingi interrupted.

"It's a dog?" You suddenly said.

"What?" They all asked in unison.

"Yeah. It's a dog." You repeated.

"What kind of dog?! Does it have a collar?!" Yunho asked happily.

"I think it's a golden retriever, let me get closer."

"No! Don't get close to it! It could have rabies!" Mingi warned you.

Suddenly the sound of something falling was heard.

"Y/N! What happened?! Do I need to call animal control and put the dog down?!" Mingi asked frantically.

"No! Don't put it down!" Wooyoung begged.

Your giggles were heard, making everyone confused.

"It's licking my face! And he's so cute! Can we keep him?!" You squealed.

"If you say yes, can we help name it?!" San asked.

Mingi pinched the bridge of his forehead, trying to calm down.

"Well this was certainly a very entertaining meeting." Seonghwa laughed.

°• ✾ •°𝓙𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓦𝓸𝓸𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓰°• ✾ •°

"So uh... don't freak out Wooyoung..." You started off.

"Oh no. Every time you tell me not to freak out, it's cause it's something worth freaking out about. So what is it?" He asked.

You sighed. "Ok. So while I was sleeping, someone broke into the house."

"What?! How?! Do you know who it was?!" He began asking, already gathering some people to go with him.

"No, I was sleeping." You calmly said.

"How could you have been sleeping?!" He exclaimed.

"Hey! Being pregnant makes me tired and when I'm asleep, I'm practically dead!" You defended yourself.

"Ok fine! But are you sure you didn't hear anything?" He asked.

You face palmed on the other end.

"Wooyoung... I told you! I was asleep! I didn't see or hear anything! I only know that someone broke in because the front door knob is broken." You responded.

"Ok that's it. I'm installing better security and hiring someone to watch you while you're sleeping since clearly, anyone can just come in then hurt you and you won't even notice till you're dead." He said, his voice raising 2 octaves.

"No! I won't be able to sleep if I know someone is watching me." You cringed.

"Fine. I'll watch over you and our baby then." He said decidedly.

"That's even worse!" You shouted.

"It's called making sure you're alive! Goddamit woman, stop being so difficult." He screamed back.

°• ✾ •°𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓲 𝓙𝓸𝓷𝓰𝓱𝓸°• ✾ •°

Jongho looked back and forth at you and the man currently tied up to a chair in front of you both.

"Run that by me again?" He asked, unable to believe your story.

"It's simple. I heard someone looking through some documents in the office, so I went to go check-"

"That was already a pretty stupid decision." Jongho cut you off.

You glared at him.

"I took a weapon with me!" You exclaimed.

"Yeah! The expensive vase that my mom gave to us on our anniversary!" Jongho gestured to the broken pieces of porcelain scattered around the floor.

"Well it was the closest thing I had in hand! Besides it worked! Knocked him out long enough for me to tie him up and wait for you to get here." You were actually proud of yourself for being able to handle the situation like you did. Jongho always said you were tiny and couldn't protect yourself, that's why you needed him.

Jongho sighed and looked back at the guy next to them.

"I mean.....I'd asked you to confirm her story, but I think you tied up basically sums it up."

The guy only nodded.

"Are you going to torture me now?" The man asked.

"Listen my man, you got knocked out by a tiny and pregnant woman, you a grown man. I think you've suffered enough humiliation for one day." Jongho snorted, but he was also proud of you for protecting yourself and your child.

Gifs not mine, credit goes to their respective owners.

[buckyjustbelikethat]

The Fiction of Fairytales: Chapter One

Title: The Fiction of Fairytales: Chapter One 

Characters: Stucky x Reader

Summary: (a/b/o au that is non-cannon compliant) After being captured and forced to live as Brock Rumlow’s mate for years you are kidnapped by the Avengers. They plan to interrogate you for information on Hydra and Rumlow, but after Steve and Bucky realize they are your true mates, they realize that their kidnapping was more of an unexpected rescue.

Warnings: Mentions of assault, kidnapping, death, and abuse, and strong language.

Word Count: approx. 3000

A/N: Hello lovelies! 💕 I’m so sorry for the late update. Life has been really crazy both personally and globally. I hope the longer chapter makes up for the wait. Let me know if you want to be tagged or if you have any suggestions or comments!

Previous Chapter

You followed his instructions until they reached the tower. As you were driving you had the urge to cry passing by the buildings and civilization you had been kept from for so long. But the freedom was a placebo, a momentary feeling that reality is plotting to destroy. You knew you were trading one cage for another. One where you were trapped with a murderer and one when you are considered one. Tony Stark fought for good, and he proved that Brock had turned you into something only recognizable as bad.

They arrived at the tower and the moment you placed the car in park your hands were put into high tech handcuffs. Stark’s hand firmly gripped your arm, and though it was not soft, you breathed a sigh of relief when it felt nothing like the force of Brock’s hands. Stark led you to an elevator that seemed detached from the main part of the building. You hoped he didn’t feel the slight tremble of your body. You were used to the danger of being a captive of Brock, but here, you didn’t know what to expect. The floor you arrived at looked like a police station. There were containment rooms and what looked like interrogation rooms. There weren’t many others on the floor, but the guards scattered throughout looked at you in disgust as you entered. You knew that you did not participate in any of the violence hydra had committed, but being looked at as if you did made you feel dirty.

Stark led you into one of the interrogation rooms, and sat you down on an uncomfortable metal chair. He sat opposite of you and placed his feet on the table between you.

“So, are you also a mass murderer or do you just have a fetish for murders in cults?”

His question reminded you once again that he did not save you, you were considered his enemy. You didn’t know the use in arguing with him, you were unsure if they would ever really believe you, and whether the reality of the circumstance would really save you, or if you were considered damned.

“I’ve never killed anyone.” You stated with as much confidence in your voice as you could muster.  

“A girl like you bonded with an evil person like that has to get her hands dirty a little once and awhile.”

You met his statement with silence. Staring at the metal table and wishing all of this would be over. When he realized you were not going to respond to his previous statement he placed photos down in front of you.

“Do you recognize any of these men?”

Your body involuntarily shivered as you had looked at the faces of men who had taken part in your torture. You recognized Pierce first, and other Hydra members that had brought you so much trauma.

“Yes.”

“Are they all still alive?”

“I don’t know.” It was your honest answer but it made you feel hopeless. Stark wasn’t going to trust you if you couldn’t tell him anything useful. You hadn’t seen a lot of them in a while, but you would never be informed of those kinds of details.

“So you’re telling me you recognize all these men and we are supposed to believe that you know nothing about hydra?” You didn’t have to look at his face to recognize the skepticism in his words.

As Steve and Bucky were walking into the interrogation room they were hit both with the most intoxicating smell, it smelled like warmth, like vanilla and caramel, and it reminded them of the cookies Steve’s mom used to make them when they were younger. Underneath the overwhelming scent was the unmistakable wave of distress. At first they didn’t understand where the scent could be coming from, or who. It didn’t take long for them to narrow down the fact that there was likely no one else nearby besides the Hydra member, who was also Brock’s omega, that Tony just brought in. They glanced at each other in apprehension before entering. They knew that whatever they were walking into it was not the happy meeting of their omega they had dreamed of, but their instincts were screaming at them to open the door.

Steve couldn’t ignore the protectiveness he was feeling towards Bucky in the moment. Whoever this omega was, they were somehow involved with the same people that had hurt Bucky. He was ignoring the protectiveness he felt towards the omega he had not even met yet, as far as he was concerned they did not deserve his protection, Bucky was his priority right now.

“Stark, Captain America and Sergeant Barnes request access to the room to aid interrogation.”

“Let them in, Friday.” Stark responds with a sigh, obviously frustrated he got nowhere on his own.

As the two men entered the room your heart stopped. Their scents felt like home. The dark haired man smelled like freshly brewed coffee, and the blonde haired man smelled like ginger and licorice. You knew without a question these two beautiful men in front of you were your alphas, your true mates. After your mind cleared from the fog that their presence brought you immediately diverted your eyes, cursing yourself for forgetting your position, if Brock was here he would have punished you for looking at an alpha, even if they are his enemy.

Bucky felt consumed by you. You were more beautiful than he ever could have pictured. He was hyper analyzing every frown, every tremor that your body was making, the way that you diverted your eyes from them. The distress and feeling of hopelessness that surrounded you suffocated him. He just hoped your emotions were not fueled by you missing your mate. Though he didn’t like the alternative. He could not win in this situation, and underneath his calculated demeanor, Steve could also feel the feeling of hopelessness Bucky tried to bury, he could not hide his emotions from his mate.

“We have reason to believe they are trying to capture and reactivate the winter soldier, what are their plans?” Stark spoke completely unaware of what was going on.

“The winter soldier?” You were thankful to be snapped back to the reality of the moment, but his questions once again made you feel useless.

“Me.” The dark haired man replied, or Sergeant Barnes as the AI called him.

Your face fell. Though you didn’t know whether to trust your true mates or not, you knew you had very little chance of gaining their love. Not only did you bond with someone else, but they were someone that obviously hurt one of them, and might be actively planning to do so again. You would be pissed if fate gave you you as well.It seemed fate cursed them and is turned your life into a farce.

“I don’t know.” You sounded like a broken record, and you knew with each repetition there will be dire consequences.

“How convenient, it seems you know nothing.”

“I’m sorry, I promise I’m telling the truth.”

Steve’s composure fell, he no longer could quiet his rage.

“Bullshit! What kind of sick joke is this? We are mated to an omega not only bonded with hydra, but obviously she has blatant allegiance to them as well.”

“Mate?” Stark questioned in shock.

“Steve...” Bucky interjected, still not as convinced as his mate was that you were lying and trying to get him to relax.

“No Buck! You deserve so much better than her, than this. And not only does she not have the decency to wait for her true mates, but she mates with a member of Hydra, and is actively covering for an evil organization.” Steve said, looking into Bucky’s eyes while ignoring Stark’s question.

“She’s your true mate?” Tony tried again.

“No.” Steve said, though the message behind his words was heard loud and clear by everyone in the room. He was rejecting her.

You felt like you couldn’t breath. You knew what was going to happen, but God, you didn’t know how you could live with it. You knew his words were the truth, he didn’t even know the full extent of how broken you were and he could already tell you would never measure up.

“I’m sorry.” You tried to show your honesty behind your words, but your voice was weak. You did not understand why you were mated either, but you knew they were good people, they were alpha’s sure, and there are parts of that that scare you, but you know that if you had met them before ever meeting Brock, they would be everything you had ever dreamed of. Your eyes remained diverted, but you could tell just from his voice, his love for Bucky. You felt like it was ripping you in two, all you had ever wanted was a fraction of that love, but the universe deemed you unworthy, adding validity to all of Brock’s claims.

While Steve was filled with protectiveness, Bucky wasn’t so sure of what to make of everything. The ways your eyes never met their own, the pain and fear he could detect though you tried to hide it, and the apology only filled him with questions. Your behavior reminded him of his own when he first got out of Hydra, part of him hoped this wasn’t the case. He would rather be mated to evil, than to be mated to someone that had to withstand the kind of pain he had to.

“What is it exactly you are sorry for?” Bucky asks, his voice still cool, but not laced with the anger Steve’s words were entangled with.

“For being mated with someone else…” you cut yourself off there, not sure if you should list all the reasons why you were sorry you ended up their mate. “And for not being able to help you all with the information you want.”

“Not being able to and not willing to are two different things.” He replied.

“I.. I know. I promise you if I knew I would help you. I understand you don’t like me or trust me. I would feel the same considering who Brock is, but please believe that more than anyone, I don’t want him to be able to hurt anyone ever again.”

“Then how the hell can you justify being with him? For not waiting for your true mates, for him?” Steve almost yells as he tries to keep his cool. He was hurt but he was masking it with anger. Bucky reaches out his hand and lays it on Steve’s shoulder, he gives him a look that pleads for his silence.

Bucky could see the tears pooling in your eyes as you fought them away, and his fear that his suspicions might be true was nagging at his mind.

“How long have you been with Brock?”

This was something that you had fought over the years to know the answer to. You weren’t sure of time when he first took you, the days blended together, but once he started giving you more freedom you decided to keep track of how long it had been.

“Eight years.” you said.

“Okay.” Bucky said, his voice calming. “We have no records of you before Hydra, so can you tell us how old you are?”

“25.” Your voice was still breathy and quiet, unsure his intentions behind his questions.

The fear nagging at Bucky became more pronounced when he learned that you weren’t even of age when you got together.

“How did you meet?”

He watched you as your body froze, panic entered your eyes and your breath became shorter. As you shrunk into your chair you winced at the metal pushing against your bruised body.

Steve started to sense the reasoning behind Bucky’s questions, especially when he saw your reaction. Things started to make sense to Tony too, especially when knowing how little you went out, and the way you looked for the cameras. He suspected you feared him and tried to find safety in knowing that Brock could see you in the surveillance footage, but now he was starting to think your fear was more of the cameras than him.

You didn’t know what to do, he asked about one of the worst days of your life, and you feared they would be disgusted by you if he understood. You saw Bucky move closer to you in an attempt to calm you down, his alpha instincts telling him to soothe the anxiety of his omega. But the closer he got to you the more you shrunk away from him. Trying to hide within the cold metal of your chair, as your pain became more pronounced.

“Hey, it’s okay, we want to help you, but we can’t do that if you don’t talk to us.”

His words calmed you and you cursed that he was able to have an effect on you. He knelt down beside your chair, trying to get a better view of your eyes, despite you doing everything in your power to hide your face behind your hair. You decided to rip the bandaid off, maybe if they understood then they would realize you were no use to them, and then maybe you could let you die on your own terms. You knew there was no other alternative. Brock would always find you, and you had no way of defending yourself, and you would not let yourself become a burden to them as an unwanted mate. You wouldn’t force them to deal with that, it would be wrong of you.

“He killed my parents and he was supposed to kill me too, but he took me as his mate instead.”

“He forced you to bond with him?” He was trying to suppress the rage overwhelming his body, he did not want to scare you away. Steve was still at a distance, now battling his own guilt from what he said to you.

“Yes, I promise, I meant nothing to him, I was just a body, everyone in Hydra viewed me the same. I promise they never discussed any information with me around, and if they did I would tell you, please believe me.” You spoke through your own tears.

“We believe you.” Tony spoke, laced with the same guilt Steve feels.

“Thank you... But they will find me, and what they will do to me is worse than death, I can’t go back, and I won’t be a burden to you, you both deserve to find an omega who is good enough. So please, I’m begging you to kill me.”

Steve and Bucky both started to growl. Unhappy with the words they are hearing from their omega.

“No!” Steve and Bucky both blurted out.

Your whole body was shaking, and it got worse knowing they wouldn’t allow you the kindness of a quick death. “Please, I know you don’t owe me anything but please. I can’t go back. Please.”

Bucky’s hand reached out to calm you, but he immediately realized it was a bad idea when you flinched away. Your face contorted in pain once again and Steve and Bucky wished more than anything that they could fix everything for you right then and there, no matter the cost. Bucky resigned his hand to himself, but Steve came up and knelt beside Bucky.

“No one is going to hurt you again. I promise you. We will protect you sweetheart. I’m so sorry we thought you were Hydra.” Steve spoke to you. His voice soft, and laced with pain for his mate.

“We are your Alpha’s and we will protect you.” Bucky said firmly, assuring you that they weren’t going anywhere despite what Steve had said earlier.

You calmed yourself enough to reply to their assertions.

“You don’t have to protect me,” you wiped your tears from your face with your still handcuffed hands. “I’ll be fine. Please, like you said earlier, you deserve better, and I understand that.”

“No, no. That is not true.” Steve said distressed at what his omega was saying to him.

“Honey, I was a captive of Hydra for years, they made me do horrible things, I understand what they are capable of, but that is not a reflection on you. Did you want to be there?”

“No.” You sniffled.

“Do you agree with the horrible things that they do?”

“No!” You stated, trying to convince them.

“Then there is nothing that could change our mind.”

You still felt unconvinced but Steve didn’t give you much time to reject what Bucky said.

“Are you hurt?” Steve asked, assessing as much of your body as he could.

You nodded. “I’ll be fine though, Brock wasn’t happy with me this morning.”

You could see Bucky and Steve’s body both tense up at your words.

“What happened?”

“It was my fault, I looked up at him.”

Both men started growling again, even Tony joined in already becoming protective over his teammates and friends’ omega.

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” Bucky spoke to you.

“But I’m an omega.. and I shouldn’t have done that.”

Bucky wished he reached out and guided your chin up so you could look him in his eyes, but he was afraid of scaring you even more.

“Doesn’t matter if you are an omega, doll. You are not lesser than other people, especially not him.” Bucky said his voice caring.

“Can we take you to the medical wing to get you checked out?” Steve asked.

“S-sure.” You replied, still not knowing if you could trust them and their words, but the fantasy of their words of love was too enticing. You decided that even if this didn’t last, it was worth it to escape, even for just a moment, in fiction.

Next Chapter

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