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caramujotan · 4 years

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disco elysium text-form #thots:

i finished my first run last friday because i went stupid and played the game for nearly 24h straight. i could literally not drop it. i called it a 10/10 when i was about 2h away from finishing it, finished it and kept that score. it’s a real good game and you can stop here with my endorsement but if you want some more in-depth spoiler-free thoughts on it you can read the rest of this post. it’s big.

due to the content of the game, i talk about mental health topics, suicide, drug use and - obviously - cops 🐷

in a way calling this by numbers feels reductive (scalding hot review take, i know). a 10/10 score doesn’t reflect the awe i felt when gilding through the end-game. it doesn’t say a thing about how viscerally my body reacted to a few pixels and lines of text. it can’t tell you that i spent 2h in bed trying to sleep but couldn’t keep my brain off of it and got up at 8AM to finish it; or how much i’ve been replaying the game in my head, curious about how certain quests or events would have gone if i’d tried a different approach or character build.

i have this funky little medical condition that goes with my autism that makes it difficult for me to identify and process most emotions that i feel. but i can tell you how my body reacted. this game went into my gut. it felt like a leaded fist burrowed through my throat into the pit of my stomach and shredded my insides. it got me fucked up, is what i’m saying.

obviously i can’t go into what caused me to react like that without spoiling the shit out of this game, and since i wish i could gently lobotomize myself in order to experience it again for the first time, i heavily recommend you go through it knowing as little as possible. what i can do, however, is talk about the technical elements of it.

the art is beautiful. the art direction is top-notch and it was definitely of the things that drew me to this game first. the oil painting aesthetic is sublime - gritty and ethereal in equal parts whenever each purpose is called for. finding out that the art team was spearheaded by painting majors from russian fine-art schools made perfect sense - it shows, and the game made peak use of it. the philosophy behind their visual approach is woven into the fabric of the game itself - it’s a perfect compliment to the writing and storytelling, and i’d struggle to imagine this game without it. it permeates and elevates every environment, every interaction, every character build choice - from the character portraits, to the UI, to certain skills and game events. real art cop hours all my homies kin the art cop.

the music by british sea power is subsided and haunting and gives the game that british/european post-industrial melancholic flavor. i’m no music critic sadly. it fits the mood and it stands out beautifully in a few key scenes, but that’s as much as i can say.

the biggest turn off for me was in the voice acting. if you’re interested in playing this game i’m going to assume with 75% certainty you’re in your early 20s to 30s and are politically located to the left side of liberal at a minimum - so i’ll just come out and say it plainly: every second NPC (especially in the late game) is voiced by a leftist podcaster. i’m sure this is a plus for some, and it’s not the kind of thing you’d immediately notice anyway unless you’re a quote unquote dirtbag leftist with terminal irony poisoning twitter brainrot. most of them do competent work, but the sound mixing and general performance is weaker in comparison to the NPCs voiced by actual voice actors.

it’s not that bad, but it’s there - and the fact that this is probably my biggest complaint about the game should say enough of my opinion on it. either way i was cringing with recognition every time it happened and it took me out on more than one occasion because i kept hearing felix chapotraphouse in one of the game’s big tense climatic scenes.

‘but caramujo!’ you say ‘this doesn’t tell me what this game is about’. hold on, i’m about to blow the ‘i can’t do literary analysis unless things are explained to me in clear cut absolute terms’ gang out of a career and spell the themes of this game out for you in detail:

it’s about loss, and renewal - both personal and interpersonal. it’s about rising from the ruins of something that’s been in motion long before you were even thought of, having little power over it, and soldiering on. it’s about heartbreak and the end of a relationship and how that can warp your mind and infect everything around you. and you won’t get better right away - the end game doesn’t wrap everything up with a little bow and lets you cause systematic upheaval. you can’t revolutionize your way out of this one. shit will, for the time being, continue to suck.

it’s about waking up in a body that’s fucked up with a heart that aches in a world that’s been torn apart - and still making the decision to try to make it better - because you’re alive, and your heart beats, and there’s other beings in the world that are tethered to you and we all owe it to ourselves to make it better. communism hasn’t worked, baby - but so hasn’t love - and we’re not gonna give up on that. that’s what it’s all about.

it should be pretty clear right now that i did my first run as a bisexual/questioning communist feminist hobo who kinned karl marx. but i can assure you there’s other ways to play this game, and there’s more to it than that because of it.

the quests (both side quests and a main story) are varied and had me laughing and dropping into existential despair on different occasions. other than trying to be the biggest communism builder, this game is also about:

- having a heart attack because a chair is too uncomfortable, but it’s OK because your buddy cop holds you in his arms like in the buddy cop movies.

- doing copious amounts of drugs and turning on, tuning in and dropping out, maaaaan.

- going on an x-files monster of the week episode to track down a curse that’s dooming the local businesses.

- shilling for the free market to come fix it all with its beatific invisible hand while standing in a town so fucked over by economic embargoes and poverty that the local union leader is a corrupt toad with a plan to revitalize the region by gathering the work force into a nationalized worker owned drug enterprise of the legal and illegal varieties - and it still comes off as one of the more levelheaded economic decisions one could make in that situation.

- trying not to fucking kill yourself even though you have to live with that thought every single day.

- winning the trust of a 12 year old crackhead with a deadbeat dad by becoming a positive masculine role model.

- turning into a fascist you so can get buffs from drinking alcohol, and therefore becoming a raging alcoholic and having to walk up to important story events carrying half a liquor store in your inventory so you don’t have a mental breakdown or kill yourself from lack of morale whenever someone calls you out on your ethnonationalist bullshit.

it’s also - and i cannot stress this enough - about making sure you can find a tape to sing karaoke and make kim kitsuragi smile. it slaps. it’s real good writing.

i don’t know what else can say. pretty sure the game is on sale on steam now. anyway please play this absolute masterpiece and stan studio za/um for clear skin. ACAB.

#disco elysium #.txt #not sure if this is done yet i might add more thots later specifically about the world building

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creacherkeeper · 4 years

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Hays Code

community fic annie & abed friendship. pre relationship trobed hurt/comfort, angst with a happy ending cw for discussion of historical homophobia and non graphic discussion of past suicidal thoughts 3600 words

on ao3

To be frank, Annie wasn’t in the mood. Not in the mood for what, exactly? Anything. Everything. Talking or not talking, eating, sleeping, breathing—just living, really, was going to push her over the edge. It was one of those days where all she craved was a good scream and maybe to fling her arms around a bit, but that wasn’t appropriate and honestly, you’re an adult now and is this how you get your way? So, she’d politely excused herself and walked just a tad extra fast all the way home. She just wanted to be alone.

Honestly, who gave an 89% on an essay? The only feedback she’d gotten was: “These words taste like radish in my mouth. I hate radishes.”

She slammed the door more forcefully than she should. The frame wasn’t very good, and Troy always said one day she was going to knock it down. There was a teacher at Greendale that knocked a door down that same way—slammed it a little too hard day in and day out, until not only the door, but the whole frame keeled right over. That teacher was doing it on purpose, though. Took him six years to prove some inexplicable point.

Maybe Annie should do that. Knock out a whole frame just so people stop pushing her.

Her backpack was flung to the ground, and, for just a moment, she let out a strangled wail. It wasn’t as satisfying as she wanted it to be, but there were neighbors and their creepy landlord, and, no matter how riled up she was, she didn’t want to cause any trouble.

She made her way to the kitchen, because if she couldn’t be happy, then at the very least she could have chocolate. It didn’t make things better, it didn’t really help, but … it felt like a little rebellion, every time. Troy and Abed had done a good job loosening her up (within reason), but it still felt like she’d won a little victory when she skipped dinner and just went straight for dessert.

Her hand was on the cabinet when she heard the shuffle from the other room. Her heart thudded. Her grip tightened. Troy and Abed were supposed to be in class (she was supposed to be in class), and if either of them were home, so to would be the sounds of dialogue, or music, or a video game track. The apartment was never just … quiet. Not unless she was by herself.

Her hand crept back to her side. It flexed like it might grip the handle of a gun, but she reminded herself she’d given it up when she moved into the apartment. She understood that it was different for her to have one than Troy and Abed, she really understood that, but her nerves got the better of her sometimes. Sometimes she missed it.

She slid the knife off the counter as quietly as she could.

She crept into the living room.

“Are you going to knife me?” Abed asked, face neutral.

Her heart and legs floundered. “Jesus Christ, Abed! You’re supposed to be in class.”

She could practically see Shirley’s disapproval of her choice of swear, but, okay, look, it wasn’t even really, technically, his name—if you went by the Hebrew, the more accurate—okay, no. No. She was getting off track.

Abed’s eyes followed the knife as she gestured towards him and then the blank TV.

“Why are you just sitting here in the dark? You scared me half to death!”

“Sorry.”

“Are you doing a scene where the character is thinking of something, and they’re silent, but going on this whole internal journey, and then, at the end, they jump up and run off camera to go do something dramatic?”

“No,” he admitted.

“Oh.” The knife dropped a bit. “Then what are you doing?”

“Thinking.”

They stared for a moment, Annie at his face, and Abed at the knife. It finally fell limp to her side as her eyebrows scrunched and mouth pursed in confusion.

“Oh. Okay.”

Her fingers twisted and curled around the handle. Abed went back to staring towards the TV—unusually and ominously blank.

She cleared her throat and quickly dropped the knife back in the kitchen, then tiptoed her way towards him.

“Is there … something bothering you?”

His head tilted back and forth almost imperceptibly as he decided how to respond.

“Just thinking about tropes.”

Her shoulders relaxed. That sounded more like him. She was almost worried that Abed had been abducted and replaced by a doppelganger, or that he’d gone into the dreamatorium alone and had gotten too stuck in a character. But he was just thinking about tropes. That was fine, that was Abed. The familiarity gave her enough confidence to approach fully and perch on the coffee table in front of his chair.

“I’m sorry I yelled,” she said, doing that little half-smile nose scrunch that always worked on Jeff. She wasn’t sure Abed even saw it, the way he was looking over her shoulder instead of at her, but the apology felt good to say. “Is there a trope you’re thinking about in particular?”

He hummed and gave a short nod. She waited for him to continue, but he just stared in that way that he did and rubbed his thumb over his fingers in a quick, anxious pattern.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, realizing her mistake. She’d asked a yes or no question and he’d answered it. “What trope are you thinking of?”

“Hays Code,” he shot off, a drum beat in the air.

The name sounded familiar. But sometimes the things Abed told her about were like a pipette drip in the tumultuous ocean of her brain. It didn’t mean she wasn’t listening, but it was drown out by the raging storm, the cutting rocks, the moon and the tides and the break on the shore—oh and sharks, maybe-

She shook her head.

“Would you mind explaining what that is?”

His finger rose in a point like he was going to begin, but it was an awkward, faltering second before the words actually began to spill from his mouth.

“Hays Code, or the Motion Picture Production Code, adopted and enforced in 1934. A set of morality-based guidelines that stifled American filmmaking with self-censorship rules until 1968. Among the guidelines were bans on sacrilegious profanity—like your little outburst just there—violence, drugs, sexual content, among other things.” His eyes flickered, only briefly. “Though not explicitly stated, the Code affected media portrayal of homosexuality, to the effect that it could not be portrayed without sufficiently condemning it as immoral, or …” His fingers continued their nervous dance. “-ending their story in tragedy. While the Hays Code was abandoned in 1968, its effects were deep-seated. That particular unspoken rule became what we now would refer to as ‘bury your gays’. The Code was abandoned, but the trope was too well established to die with it.”

She blinked. Her mouth felt dry. Her fingers wrung much like his from where they were held in her lap.

“Abed?” she asked.

“Yeah?”

“Can I sit with you?”

She’d never really asked before. Usually it was an unspoken assumption—that was Abed’s seat, and the other was Troy’s. She didn’t have one, so she sat with Abed. She’d never minded. It was nice. There weren’t many people she felt comfortable being that close to, but Abed was just the right amount of warm, and holding his hand felt like a star through cloud-cover, like a lighthouse on a familiar shore, a point of contact that kept her grounded and real and there.

But, she asks. This time, she had to ask.

Abed’s eyes glanced at her shoulder, at her hands, at her chin, back down.

“Yeah.”

He scooted over as she moved towards him, and instead of settling on the arm of the chair, she let her weight fall next to his, both of them crammed sharply together in the too small seat. He was trembling, just a little. She wondered if he’d eaten.

His hand slipped into hers.

Though her breath stuttered, she hoped it wasn’t enough that he’d notice.

“Abed, are you gay?”

For all that he could ramble, shroud his meaning in metaphor and obscure reference, Abed didn’t like when other people beat around the bush. He appreciated directness and honesty. So, though it felt to Annie like some dam had been broken, like all her soft guts would come spilling out at any moment, she asked the question as simply as she could.

The silence rang too long, though it couldn’t have been more than a moment.

“Maybe,” he said. His fingers wriggled, testing against hers. “I have liked the girls I’ve dated. Though it’s hard to tell if it’s more aesthetic appreciation, or- or if I just enjoy their company. Most of the ways people describe feelings are alien to me, so sometimes it’s hard for me to tell.”

“And with guys it feels the same?”

He shook his head, just a little. “Different. It … It feels different.”

Annie took as even a breath as she could, trying not to let her palm sweat against his own, though she didn’t, in the end, have much power over that.

“And thinking about the Hays Code has you worried that … that what you’re feeling is bad?”

He shook his head again, but it was a few seconds before he spoke.

“I’ve been trying to figure out my arc for a while,” he admitted. “Creating … contrived little schemes to nudge it this way or that. I’m not sure I can fight this one though. I don’t know if I can change how it ends.” He swallowed, throat bobbing. “The trope is well established for a reason.”

Annie’s hand squeezed his, not to comfort him, but out of reflex. She tried to relax it, blinking quickly against a sting in her eyes.

“And … the ending you’re worried you’re going to get …”

She let the sentence hang, because, frankly, she couldn’t find it within herself to finish. There was a knot in her throat she couldn’t swallow past.

Still, he took her meaning.

“Have you seen Dead Poet’s Society?” he asked.

Her stomach twisted. She nodded. She was glad he wasn’t looking at her, just staring towards the TV, because she wasn’t sure what her face would betray.

“Yeah.” His head jolted a bit. It was only slightly different from his thinking head tilt, but she recognized it as a sign of his nerves nonetheless. “It wasn’t a one to one metaphor, but it was about as blatant as it could be at the time. It still hit home for a lot of people.”

She cleared her throat, but it didn’t get rid of the choking feeling. “Have you thought about this before?” She wasn’t sure if he would gather her meaning—not the Code or the movie but … she couldn’t bring herself to even think it.

His lips pulled. He looked down at their conjoined hands, at Annie’s white knuckled grip.

“Not recently.”

Her grip relaxed, if only a little.

“But in the past?”

His shoulder shrugged against hers, and he let his thumb swipe back and forth over her knuckles.

“Kids are mean. Life is hard. You know how it is.”

She coughed out a little breath, nodding just a touch too quickly. “I get it. I do.”

Suddenly his brows furrowed, and his head swiveled towards her.

“Sorry,” he said, eyes darting back and forth over her expression. “I didn’t mean to make you worry about your own ending.”

Her eyebrows drew to mirror his.

“My …? Why would I be worried about my- Abed, you don’t think I’m gay, do you?”

His lips twitched at the side. He blinked.

“Sorry,” he said again. “Sometimes I misread people. I’m just very good at patterns, is all, and I’m a lot more observant than people think—”

“I’m not- You shouldn’t—” Her heart thudded like the crack of hooves at a horse race, and her eyes burned, and her stomach twisted. He couldn’t just- She never said- But he was watching her with that open, knowing stare, and she thought, if she couldn’t tell him right there, right then—if she couldn’t tell Abed, who had just put his heart on the table before her—when would she ever say it?

Her next words escaped as a croak.

“You can’t tell anyone.”

The understanding was quick to light his eyes. He nodded.

“I’m not ready to- I could never really—” She took a wet, shaky breath. “How long have you known?”

He looked as if he was weighing his answer. He was still staring at her with that intensity only Abed had.

“A while,” he told her eventually.

“Have you told any—”

“No.”

“Not even—”

“No.”

She let out a breath. “Okay.” She swallowed, squeezing his hand. “Okay.”

He settled back down next to her, head tilting softly downward. “I didn’t mean to make you worry.”

“I’m not worried about tropes, Abed.”

“But you’ve thought about it, too.”

Her eyes darted away, around their living room. “About the Hays Code? No, I—”

“Annie.”

She froze. When Abed used her name like that, short, soft, she knew he was serious.

Her breath rattled through her nose. She pulled on his hand until their conjoined fingers were resting against her, arms wrapped around her in something like a hug.

“Kids are mean,” she repeated hoarsely. “Life is hard. You know how it is.”

He shifted a little closer. He nodded.

“I always felt like … like I had to be perfect. Like any little mistake, any slip up, any error, and … everything would come crashing down. I’d lose it all. Even as a kid, I knew my parents’ love was conditional.” Her swallow was harsh, tears dripping down her cheeks. “And so I took every advantage I could, because I thought … I thought I was just playing the game. I did everything I could to be at the top, because I thought being number one would keep me from losing.” She let out a laugh, breathy and bitter. “It didn’t. I just fell harder.”

She could feel Abed looking at her, but her gaze was fixed firmly on her lap. If it were someone else, Troy or Jeff, maybe Britta even, she’d want them to comfort her, to hold her, to tell her it was okay and that her fall from grace hadn’t been as bad as she thought. Abed didn’t, and she liked that. She liked that he just listened.

“I lost everything. My school, my scholarship, my friends … my family. I’d been thrown in the proverbial gutter and I just thought …” Her face pinched as she tried to get out the words. She shrugged. “Well, I’ll never be able to climb out of this one. There’s no point in …” She sighed. “If I hadn’t had been in the clinic, I don’t know. They watch for that sort of thing and, I don’t know, even in there I was so worried about being good. The day I got out, I enrolled in Greendale. It wasn’t what I thought my future was going to be, but it saved my life.”

There were a few beats of silence as her sentence hung, as her lips wavered and her eyes wept.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t mean to make this about me.”

“It’s okay,” Abed responded, quiet, and she knew that he meant it.

“I’m sorry you’ve ever felt the same way.”

“Me too,” he said. “But—for you, though.”

A tiny laugh escaped her, and she shifted to rest her cheek on his shoulder. She lifted her free arm to wipe the wetness from her face.

“Abed … I know we’ve said this before, but … tropes are good for movies. Movies have arcs, narrative, structure. But real life isn’t that way. Our stories aren’t bound by convention and rules. Just because it happens in the movies, doesn’t mean that’s how your life is going to go.”

“Yeah.” His fingers moved in pattern between her own. “Movies make sense, though. Life doesn’t. Life is chaotic and messy and confusing. You never know what someone’s going to say next. You can guess, and I have, but you can’t know. You can’t keep the ending in mind when you’re watching. A good ending is logical—it’s the only correct solution to a puzzle you didn’t think to solve. There’s foreshadowing. There’s staging. Characters have motivations, and they’re not always clear—but if you don’t understand you can watch it again, and again, and again, until you get it. If you don’t like it, you can’t change what happens, but there’s a comfort in it always staying the same. You can laugh, you can cry, but barring that, you can just … be there. You can be affected as much as you’ll be affected and the movie doesn’t care one way or another. It just exists, and you do too. And in a way, that’s its own kind of peace.”

Annie let that explanation wash over her, a display of emotion in its own logical kind of way. It made sense in the way that Abed frequently made sense if people just cared to listen. And for the moment, she didn’t feel like she had to respond, just sit there with him, listening in the way that he had listened to her, just existing with him like he obviously craved.

After a minute had passed of feeling his hand squeeze and loosen, watching his toes wiggle in his socks, she asked, “Abed, did something prompt all this? You seemed fine yesterday.”

He swallowed, fingers and toes stilling. Finally, she pulled away from him.

His eyes darted towards the open door of the dreamatorium, and hers followed.

Oh.

On the floor were strewn chocolates, different kinds in little wrappers, looking like they’d been thrown and fallen in their places. Only the corner of it was visible, but through the doorway she could see the rounded corner of a pink carton.

Valentine’s was coming up.

“You got those for someone,” she said, not really a question.

He hummed.

“You got those for Troy.”

This, too, was a statement. It was one she felt as sure of as anything else.

He hummed again.

“Were you worried he’d say no?” she asked, turning back to face him.

His eyes lingered on the abandoned chocolates.

“No,” she corrected herself. “That wasn’t it.”

“I’m not sure what my arc is,” he said slowly. “I can contrive it all I want—I don’t know what my ending’s gonna be. I can ponder, I can analyze, but … I don’t really know. And that scares me. It scares me as much as it scares anyone, I think. But Troy is … he’s not set in stone. I have my guesses. I know what I hope. But what if by asking him I seal his fate? What if I take him off the path of the prom king and star athlete and I- I railroad him into decades of unspoken rules and tragedy? I- I can’t do that to him, I- I can’t—”

“Abed.”

His mouth clamped shut.

She pulled his hand a little closer.

“Those are worries that I think, while maybe phrased in a different way, anyone would have. Life is hard and full of uncertainties, and … you and I both know it’s not any easier for us. It’s exponentially harder, in ways that most people wouldn’t even think of. Not because of movie rules or media tropes, but because … well … it’s just that much more uncertain. But, in spite of all that, I have one question for you.”

It was a very movie drama thing to say, and she knew it would draw his interest. His eyes slid to her, not meeting her own, but hovering around her nose, her mouth, her chin.

“Despite the uncertain ending,” she said, “despite the tropes, would it not be worth it if, along the way, he was happy?”

His head darted, just a little.

“Because, for whatever my opinion’s worth, I think if you asked him, he would be really, really happy.”

His eyes fell, down to the collar of her shirt, and she knew from his stillness that he was thinking.

Finally, he spoke.

“Your opinion’s worth a lot. More than most, at least. For the record.”

She huffed a laugh and leaned against him, letting her cheek rest against his shoulder once again.

“I know I’m a complete and utter hypocrite,” she said, “but sometimes I think you have to stop worrying about how it’ll all turn out and just embrace a moment for the moment that it is.”

“Wow,” he said flatly. “I don’t think I’ve seen you once practice that philosophy.”

“Oh, shut up,” she laughed.

He rocked their hands, leaning into her as well. “No, I get it, though. I do.”

“So …” She pulled back to look at him. “What’s the homage gonna be when you ask? What script are you working off?”

After a moment, he looked at her, face painted with an awkward little smile.

“I think maybe I’ll just wing it,” he said. “Speak from the cold, mechanical heart, and all that.”

A breath escaped her nose. She smiled at him. “Yeah. Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.”

For a few moments, there was quiet.

“Hey, Annie?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He nodded, shy, and looked away again. The heat between their palms and their pressed-against sides was starting to become uncomfortable, but Annie didn’t want to leave. This was Abed, her Abed, her boys, and, if push came to shove, she could have stayed like that forever.

#community #annie edison #abed nadir #annie & abed #YES IM ON A COMMUNITY KICK IM SORRY #ANNIE! IS! GAY!#ABED! IS! GAY!#i had to get this out of my system

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gcnnerpaxton · 4 years

Text

THE CHARACTER STATISTICS

FULL NAME — gunner brick paxton

NICKNAME — little paxton/lp by a few ppl tho he hates it KLSHDGLKHSDLGS bt thts pretty much it.............

D.O.B. — july 31st, 1998

LINK TO THEIR PINTEREST BOARD OR TAG ON YOUR BLOG — board | tag

STAR SIGN / MOON & RISING — leo sun, scorpio moon, gemini rising

MBTI — istj - the logistician

MORAL ALIGNMENT — lawful neutral

MARITAL STATUS & SEXUALITY — single & demisexual

LANGUAGES — english

TALENTS / HOBBIES — film making, piano, guitar, producing music (kinda he tries to make his own music fr the films he does bt is never rly satisfied w it bt they’re not actually Bad), unicycling (very proud he taught himself how to during the summer), magic tricks (loser), etc. jst a very long list of rly random hobbies

TOP 5 MUSICIANS — ac/dc, hozier, janis joplin, guns & roses, new order, heart, the cure..... i kno this is more than 5 bt i hv a hard time narrowing down his fav artists >_>

FAVOURITE BOOK — kane and abel

FAVOURITE FILM & TV SHOW — likes a lot of modern psychological horror...... get out, hereditary, the lighthouse, etc. / watches more youtube play throughs than tv shows but it’s always sunny in philadelphia is his fav show hes rewatched it sm when he goes thru a Depressive Slump

FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME — red dead redemption

WHAT DID THEY DO THIS PAST SUMMER? — they went to nyc to do a film internship!!!

WHERE HAVE THEY TRAVELLED? — uh........ new york, connecticut, wyoming....... pretty much those places only in the states n thts it

DO THEY TAKE ANY PRESCRIPTIONS? — lexapro and zoloft for depression/anxiety, halcion to help with sleep, oxy’s for when his brittle broken body/brain starts acting up due to a fkin bajillion accidents as a kid............ jst a walking pharmacy rly he has so many meds at all times SHDGLKSDHGHLSKDG (i am not a doctor i tried to google if these can all b taken at the same time bt its jst wht . i imagine he’d have bt i kno nothing about anything)

DO THEY HAVE ANY DIAGNOSIS’S? — anxiety, major depressive disorder, underlying trauma n ptsd from events growing up....... looks away dramatically

FICTIONAL CHARACTER THEY ARE MOST LIKE? — ben wyatt (parks and rec), creed (the office), connell (normal people), pope (outer banks), charlie (perks of being a wallflower)

ARE THEY EMPLOYED? WHERE DO THEY WORK? — yes they work at the library on campus

WERE THEY POPULAR IN HIGH SCHOOL? — this man had maybe one good friend in high school

DO THEY DO DRUGS? — yes more so now than ever rly

DRINK? — yes

SMOKE CIGARETTES? — he ‘quit’ bt still does a lot when hes drinking at parties n stuff

SMOKE WEED? — yes

WHERE WERE THEY BORN? WHERE DID THEY GROW UP? — born and raised in laramie, wyoming before coming to radcliffe

DO THEY PLAN TO GO TO GRAD SCHOOL? — yes

WHAT ARE THEIR PLANS POST-GRADUATION? — he wants to move to nyc and just make as many films as he possibly can, kinda wants to be a screenwriter and a director but he leans more towards the writing aspect

PARENTS NAMES — john and jessica i think......... just something basic.

DO THEY HAVE SIBLINGS? NAMES & AGES? — elias (26), wyatt (12 when he went missing/presumed dead)

DO THEY HAVE PETS? TYPES & NAMES? — ya he has a tabby cat named bucket that he loves a lot :’) philly gave her to him from off the streets basically fr his bday so when she had a litter he gave philly one of the kittens n she named it pail its all very adorable.

ARE THEY RELIGIOUS? WHAT IS THEIR RELIGION IF SO? — grew up pretty catholic cuz their parents were heavily involved in the community but doesn’t rly believe in all that/doesn’t practice at the very least

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE THEY SLEPT WITH? — like 11.......... 12 ig

WHAT VEHICLE DO THEY DRIVE? IF THEY DON’T DRIVE, HOW DO THEY TRAVEL AROUND TOWN? — he does not hv a license........... elias n most friends r pretty good abt giving him rides but usually he jst walks/takes the bus if need be

DESCRIBE THEIR FASHION — eugh. just......... the worst. has no taste at all............ 90% of his pants r way too big for him cuz they’re jst hand me downs or thrift store finds, too lazy to check if they were his right size, uses shoelaces as a belt to keep them up, ratty sneakers that he’s shoved tissues into to make them fit, lots of 80′s styled wind breakers, mostly thrift store stuff that is either rly funny or jst a bit sad to look at, has been known to wear two different shoes at the same time if he cba looking fr both, has some nice knit sweaters w fun designs bt thts abt it

DO THEY PREFER TO BE BEHIND THE CAMERA OR IN FRONT OF IT? — behind

DO THEY BELIEVE ANY OF THE STORIES ABOUT RADCLIFFE? WHICH ONES? — ya a bit......... hes pretty into ghost stories like tht

DO THEY THINK THE MOTHMAN IS HOT? — yes absolutely.

A QUOTE THAT DESCRIBES THEM — “I felt like crying but nothing came out. It was just a sort of sad sickness, sick sad, when you can’t feel any worse. I think you know it. I think everybody knows it now and then. But I think I have known it pretty often, too often.”

A SONG THAT THEY WOULD RELATE TO — one foot in the grave - andie

#ruhqtask #ruhqtask001 #death tw #trauma tw #depression tw #im jst gna toss those triggers up there in case bc >_> some of this is a lot so.

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you-can-write-this · 4 years

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Character Creation Tip: Archetypes of Interest

If you’re having trouble formulating your cast of personalities, or your characters are feeling nebulous, then try this: begin with an archetype, and then complicate it or subvert it.

Arguably, the most efficient strategy is to begin with your character’s interests, and/or their chosen subculture. (This list is not exhaustive, and it spans a variety of styles and genres. Ignore the concepts which are too exaggerated or too bland for your reality.)

These are just a few ideas to get you inspired! Have fun, and be sure to absolutely ruin the archetypes you select-- don’t play them straight! In other words, these are all stereotypes, and it’s up to you to shift away from these stereotypes!

Rock - A passionate musician who feels more than they think. They list band names just to show off, and they hold extremely strong opinions on obscure controversies (e.g. slap-bass is best thumb-down). They can be talented or terrible. Stereotypically, they are slackers in almost every subject: they refuse to try in school and prefer unemployment to hard work. However, when they are passionate, they don’t recognize that they’re working. With their instrument, they are persistent, and may even become skilled. If they like the idea of pulling up in a flashy car, they’ll learn how to drive, and they’ll do it well enough. But if driving is a chore, they’ll be homebound or hitching rides.

Related interests: Even if they are characterized by their interest in rock, they are likely to have similar feelings about other, lesser interests. Common examples are comic books, D&D, and other nerdy media. They’re likely fond of tv & movies from the 80s and 90s. They may have an appreciation for some other genres, such as hip-hop, but will select genres to hate in order to establish an out-group (commonly classical, country, or radio pop). Stereotypically, they have an aversion to mainstream media and intellectualism; both make them feel inferior.

Dark counterculture - Goth, emo, and all those unlabelled. They are angry about something, but don’t know what to do with those feelings, so they choose society or authority figures as the target of their anger; they might seem very justified, or they might seem completely silly. Some brandish weapons, such as aesthetically pleasing knives, as a symbol of rebellion, but (usually) not as a tool for malice. Similarly, they gravitate towards dark iconography, which to them reads as “truth”-- satanic and violent imagery seem to call attention to the actual darkness they perceive in the world, a darkness often hidden away (although they do not believe in the devil, and do not necessarily advocate violence; if they do, it’s probably all hypotheticals, and never actions). Despite all this, most have personable, friendly, and often cheerfully childlike mannerisms by default, at least when socializing within the in-group.

Related interests: They probably have personal idols who they latch onto. Musicians are most common, but any celebrity is fine, as long as they can classify as a personal symbol of rebellion. A superstitious attitude has taught them to trust tarot, to believe in ghosts, and maybe even to practice casual witchcraft. They cope with internal pain through their vices, primarily drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. Particularly among girls/women (according to stereotype), they also may have a strong liking for childlike or “pretty” media-- Disney movies and children’s shows, for example, although older/nostalgic media for teens & adults may also make the cut. They are averse to mainstream media by virtue of it being mainstream, but older mainstream media, particularly from the 80s and 90s, can appear left behind and forgotten, and regardless of gender, the character may seek to protect this forgotten & broken toy, thereby developing a great fondness.

The idea of America - This trope only applies to Americans, as it describes American nationalists. They love symbols of America, including the flag, the eagle, the army, the police, and sometimes the fire department. In appearance, they have a high level of self-confidence, showing off their toughness and their perceived moral integrity. They are probably politically conservative, if not libertarian or independent. This type is proud to be loyal-- they are proud of how they stand by their family, or their clique, or even how they stand by their own self-- as a result, they resist changing social groups on principle (breakups are especially hard), and they may be willing to make great sacrifices in order to prove their loyalty (e.g. putting themself in danger). Personal sacrifice, to them, demonstrates their heroic nature. They are similarly loyal to America. Country music probably appeals to them, and so does mainstream media, such as pop music and action/superhero movies. In some areas towards the south, these characters are popular jocks, and may have brains as well as brawn; their futures may be promising, and they are well-liked. If younger, they may party, and if older, they are a parent, beloved by other parents in the area, possibly coaching a little league or joined to a PTA. In some areas towards the north, these characters are rebellious and countercultural. In this case, expect spiteful & defensive behaviors, paired with a distrust in authority; they will still have mainstream tastes, but they might be wary of the charming and well-liked. They may find themself stuck, on a loop, talking about leaving town or starting a business, but they mistake their own dreams for goals; it will never happen. In contexts that frame them as rebellious, others may describe them as annoying, childish, or aggressive.

Regarding gender: Not all of them are men. Within this archetype, many pride themselves as “tough ladies,” but be wary that they are not feminists. The men will be loyal to their families, and the women will be loyal to their husbands. Both men and women will place great importance on their gender role as a symbol of tradition, a loyalty to their upbringing and to each other. Women of this type may be proud gun owners, or may be athletic in the realm of “feminine” sports, such as tennis or softball; almost never football or basketball. If these women/girls are countercultural & rebellious in their context, expect them to spite well-liked women for being vapid, superficial, or boring.

Regarding moving: Someone who has grown up in the south well-liked for these qualities will still be confident & sociable in other cultural contexts. In the case of a countercultural rebel, it may depend.

Broader queer community - Not all queer people integrate their queer identity into their lifestyle-- but some do. Without an enormous subversion, this trope is better off written by queer writers. (This admin is queer in many respects.) Social politics engage them, invigorate them, and infuriate them. They’re a leftist if not center-left, and they have probably gained a lot of their knowledge & wisdom from social media, to varying degrees of accuracy; they’ve spent long hours scrolling through socio-political facts and opinions, lighting a fire in their stomach. According to stereotype, legitimate distress has left them spiteful at a young age, and they are quick to anger, quick to correct others. Friendships within the queer community bring them a sense of comfort. When comfortable, they are energetic and indulge in childlike behaviors; speaking too loudly, bursting into song, offering inappropriate emotional responses, etc. They are openly affectionate and may even enjoy cuddling with friends or openly cuddling with a partner(s). After previously feeling limited at a younger age, they are now desperate to express themself through any medium, and therefore gravitate towards wacky/colorful clothing, talk constantly about their queerness, and may decorate their houses/rooms with bizarre, sometimes queer, paraphernalia.

Related interests: If they’re invested in a tv show, podcast, movie series, book series, or other piece of media, they are probably very deeply and passionately invested. This media will usually be current, and will usually be just outside of the social norm-- for example, serious-toned animated shows, but not quite children’s television; if it’s live-action, then it’s science fiction or fantasy with a distinctive lore. Their chosen media falls into three categories: A. media with canonical lesbian relationships, B. media in which two or more men have a warm, positive relationship (which doesn’t always have to be interpreted as romantic by fans), C. it’s a YA story in which a vibrant cast of characters come together as a team or clique. They spend significant time talking about, thinking about, or writing about their favorite media.

Female celebrities - They have a vast knowledge of their favorite female celebrities, and keep closely up to date through social media. They are fiercely loyal to these celebrities, and take any spite towards these celebrities as an ethical offense. Unconsciously, they’ve developed a very strong sense of importance towards the gender binary, and for their own reasons, believe in supporting (certain) women, and distrusting men. Unconsciously, they imitate their favorite celebrities, and learn how to behave from them-- because of this, their world has a high bar for fashion and presentability. Their clothes are a perfect fit, style, and shape, and if they’re a woman/girl, their makeup is a wonder; in this way, they, too feel a little bit more like the women they admire. Stereotypically, if they’re a gay man, they probably imitate their favorite female celebrities consciously more than unconsciously, dancing along to the choreographed dances and attributing these imitations of femininity to their own homosexuality. In any form of imitation, their obsession with celebrities informs their norms, and informs their sense of self. Because they learn to view themself externally, comparing their own behaviors and presentation to that of celebrities, they will become experts in their own presentation, and as a result, become very well-liked, with many friends. Their lingo is very much up-to-date. They’re a fan of male celebrities as well, but they do not make it a hobby; it holds much lesser importance.

Related interests: In general, their tastes sway mainstream. They like watching celebrities because they like people, and so socializing and partying are their primary pastimes. With their heightened empathetic skills, they could relate to those in the out-group, but have trained themself not to, in order to feel most comfortable in their in-group. So they spend time with people similar to themself, and avoid or even act cruelly towards those they don’t immediately understand.

Classical music (for characters below 30 or so) - Their classical tastes span infinite times and locations. However, they take separate interest in European (or Ancient Grecian/Roman) history, and in this regard, they are probably fixated on a particular country during a specific period: for example, the Italian Renaissance, Soviet Russia, or Classical Greece. They’ve read a lot of classic literature from and outside of this setting. They feel disconnected from contemporary society and mainstream media, although their complaints may be diverse. They do extremely well in school, and heel to all authority figures. They relish in their ability to follow the instructions of teachers, bosses, and elders, and when they lack ability to fulfill commands, they become anxious and panicked.

Related interests: When they connect to contemporary culture in their own way, however, their hearts swell with pride-- maybe they make memes about classical art, and tote this as a character trait. Humor is a common way to show off that they don’t take their obsessions “too seriously,” and it often becomes central to their self-expression. Otherwise, they may have any number of interests, but it’s common for contemporary media to be handled with humor and irony.

School - Bookish, quiet, and unhappy. Stereotypically, this archetype is guided first and foremost by authority figures. They feel pressured to do better than anyone, and have either limited or failed to incite their social life. Since success in social relationships remains unquantifiable, friendship always ends up on the back-burner, even long after they’ve realized their mistake, and long after it’s too late. They get straight As most of the time, and feel proud of their ability to do better than anyone else. But they can’t write essays because they struggle to form their own opinions; if they get better at writing through shear hard work and perseverance, they will still struggle when an upper-level English teacher tells them to “cultivate your own unique voice,” because as far as they can see, they don’t have any voice of their own. They don’t know themself and are not sure how to learn about themself. Their actions follow the instructions of others. If they’re a college student, they’re having trouble picking a major, or have picked a major for pragmatic (not emotional) reasons.

Related interests: Poetry is a likely interest, whether it’s Instagram poetry, printed poetry, or the act of writing poetry. Even if they never seem to know who they are, if they write poetry, those poems seem to write themselves. They may also have nerdy interests, such as kpop, children’s tv shows, or anime. They aren’t explicitly averse to mainstream culture, either. Because they study so often, they’ve probably tried, at one point or another, studying with music on, so they have developed music tastes. They probably know their musical niche very well, whatever it may be (and no genre is necessarily off limits).

Academia - Perhaps a professor, or just as likely, a wannabe. They have some knowledge in many fields, and specialized knowledge in one field or a few. However, they will proudly bare their broad, shallow knowledge on the subjects they’re less familiar with. They form strong opinions on hardly familiar subject matter, and become domineering in conversation. They probably think that psychology is a nonsense field made up of unprovable, and therefore irrelevant, theories. Others will constantly be Googling the obscure words they speak. Lateness and disorganization illustrate the disconnect between their deep thought and a pragmatic reality. However, in their private life, they may exhibit extraordinarily silly or childlike mannerisms, in their own adult way. Such mannerisms appear to be a disclaimer to their personalities-- that they are not serious all the time, which makes them feel a little cooler, or at least, a little less cold, insociable, or nerdy. But in fact, they are indignant about any silliness which contaminates art or academia, and thus, they section off maturity (thoughtful, logical, serious, rigorous) and childishness (pointless, for entertainment value only, not strictly beautiful or strictly grotesquely beautiful). They are serious about serious matters and silly among silly matters. Contrast to the young fan of classical music, who approaches the mature, academic, or artistic as a form of entertainment worth joking about. According to stereotype, both the young classical listener and the academia enthusiast use humor to disarm their perilously serious interests, but the academic is much more cautious to distract from beauty or knowledge.

Related interests: They have a strong appreciation for the arts & culture. Classical music is the highest form of music to them, and hip hop is “not real music.” They are deeply moved by literature, sculpture, and painting; the older it is, the more they like it.

Skateboarding - Relaxed and sociable, this character can be seen skating from class to class on an outdoor college campus, or trying tricks with other skaters in back of the public library. They are fascinated by appearances, and are very careful about their presentation in regards to fashion (probably includes a beanie), their language, and the tastes they share with other people (in movies, television, etc.). Therefore, they may slip into superficial behaviors, judging others by first impressions or even just their appearances or their social status. They are aware of how others perceive them, and are both conscientious and self-conscious. The skateboard itself is an aesthetic flare taken very far, reflecting their strong sense of nostalgia. Their nostalgia shows up in their other interests as well: they watch television & movies from the 80s and 90s, they started playing D&D after “Stranger Things” came out, and they genuinely enjoyed reading The Catcher in the Rye. Their tastes and tendencies may be nerdy and subversive, but because they are conscientious about how others perceive them, they are great at forming good relationships with others. They are sociable and know how to be likable. Sometimes they try to simplify themself for the easier consumption of others, and they definitely hide some of their stranger interests & ideas.

Related interests: Music is important to them, but that could take the form of hip hop, rock (likely punk), radio pop, or the generally alternative & obscure. Whether they’re smart or they’re stupid, they probably have at least one significant academic interest, such as literature or history, and they don’t care if other people know.

Musicals - Loud, eccentric, melodramatic. The theater kid is so boisterous that even they can’t deny it, and with full self-awareness, they break from social norms. They usually have trouble taking things seriously. They don’t take rules or laws seriously, and will stand on tables while authority figures demand that they get down. They first and foremost chase their bliss, against odds, threats, and authority. If a loved one passes away, they will become somber and cannot contain their pain, sobbing every waking moment, and they will cry suddenly at birthday parties, (understandably) calling attention to their latest thoughts and feelings for all to hear. However, if an unimportant or disliked acquaintance passes away, they may be stealing away with a friend to the corner of the funeral home, whispering jokes about something else and laughing inappropriately. They will speak sexually explicitly in church and laugh as they catch the glares of a passerby. They are not themself without friends, because they need someone to be in on the fun, on the joke. However, unlike most of the archetypes on this list, they primarily target people within the in-group. Like their friends, they are feeling, and highly sensitive. But like their friends, they are not conscientious of other people’s boundaries, and they don’t like to be told what to do. They make enemies of other theater kids, and can be genuinely aggressive, scheming, and villainous. They feel no shame when they talk behind people’s backs, which is one of their pastimes. But most importantly, you can always expect them to burst into song at the absolutely wrong time. Expect very intensive knowledge about their favorite musicals, but probably not their inner workings-- they can recite scenes from memory, and they know the names of all the original performers, but they are less likely to know names of writers, and they tend to care less for trivia. They may know some music theory and how to play piano, but otherwise, they will remain in their lane, focusing on performance aspects.

Related interests: If they are of high school age or younger, they can party without any drink or drugs; otherwise, they modestly drink alcohol and then trick themself into thinking they’re completely hammered. Assume they first tried alcohol at a young age. Despite how loudly they talk about sex & drugs, they may be inexperienced & naive about drugs. If they do drugs frequently, though, they do party drugs at parties, or try out drugs at other social gatherings to feel hip & cool.

Furries - No, they don’t want to fuck real animals. They want to fuck cartoon animals, but more importantly, they want to be cartoon animals. Like the theater kid archetype, they are bombastic, emotional, and sociable, but unlike the theater kid archetype, they lack any social awareness at all, and they are strictly countercultural. Theater kids read the room and don’t care what they see; furries can’t read the room at all. Amongst the in-group, they are childlike: loud, offering inappropriate emotional reactions, and constantly crossing other people’s boundaries. They can be very inappropriate (sexually & otherwise), regardless of the setting, and regardless of other people’s reactions. But more importantly, they are fiercely affectionate. They hug strangers of the in-group, and otherwise actively pursue physical contact. When a loved one gets attention, they are quick to become jealous, and they pursue their loved one’s attention overtly or covertly; they become angry and demand attention, or they show off their sadness and hope their loved one will notice. Amongst the out-group, they expect others to limit their true self. They are either quiet, or they become overtly rebellious, treating the out-group as the enemy who will stifle them. When rebellious, they try their best to be obscene: they curse & insult haphazardly, they feel proud when authority figures come down on them, and they gravitate towards obscene gestures and lewd implications. They are either proud of their sexual experiences, or shame others for their sexual experiences. Self-expression is extremely important to them, so they wear edgy, suggestive, or brightly colored clothing. However, they only care about bringing the inside to the outside, and they’re not very aware of the gaze of others, so they may not take care of their hair very much, and they don’t wear makeup; these are superficial matters, not matters of the heart. They are attracted to the cute and to the dark, sometimes simultaneously, so it’s common for them to flirt while using childlike language (and perhaps to use childlike language in general). Stereotypically, they have an aversion to "basic” types and to intellectualism; both make them feel inferior. But from the “basic” types-- in other words, people who are well-liked with socially acceptable interests-- they are mostly averse reflexively. They may insult others for being vapid, prudish, and mean (even without cause), but they expect such people to look down on them, and become defensive in preparation for cruelty.

Related interests: They party. They lost their virginity at a young age, have tried every drug, and may cope with their problems through drinking and smoking. They talk a lot about the demons they’ve struggled with (usually mental illness, trauma, or feeling like an outsider), and they blame their bad behavior and these demons. Whether these demons are lesser or greater, they feel unequipped to deal with these problems; their demons haunt them incessantly and, usually with full awareness, run away from their problems through drugs, tobacco, and alcohol. They are also deeply involved with rave culture. Although they get high while they rave, they do not rave in order to cope, but in order to express themself. Being a furry is not the only thing they want to express about themself, though, and they probably have many, many labels they very closely identify with. These labels may include any of the following: leftist, nazi, communist, emo, e-girl/e-boy/e-they, gay, bisexual, pansexual, nonbinary, trans, punk, clinically depressed, clinically anxious, etc. The more controversial the personal attribute they have, the more closely they identify with it, and the more they seek to express it within and outside of furry culture.

Eastern philosophy - Woke, but not really, this archetype is attracted to obscurity. This trope applies to outsiders of the relevant cultures; they are unlikely to be East Asian in ethnicity or nationality. In casual conversation, they make quick and awkward connections, hopping spontaneously from topic to topic. Somehow your political opinions on big business have lead them to go on about chakras. But that lasts only a moment-- now they’re talking about Nietzsche and Kant, and now they’re connecting it back to chakras. You don’t see the connection. They’re well-read and they very much know it; otherwise, they skim books and talk constantly about the couple pages they’ve read. They’re always looking for something deep and meaningful that can bring them realizations about the world around them, but the packaging of information can make or break wisdom. The more distant from their world this wisdom comes, the more likely they are to trust it-- new superstitions from within their country are deceptive, ignorant, and nonsensical playtoys. However, methods of divination from Africa, China, Japan, India, and Indigenous America pique their interest. They find these methods fascinating, beautiful, and artistic. They are either convinced that foreign superstitions are accurate, or they perceive it aesthetically first and foremost, maintaining a respectable distance, and taking pictures for social media. Ancientness, acclaim, and foreignness may all be factors in whether or not they respect a source or a piece of media. They frequently throw out names in European philosophy, but in Eastern philosophy, they have formed a blind trust, and they live their life assuming truth of the third eye, of chi, of chakras, etc. Whatever their preferences and beliefs were in youth, they have moved on. They’re on a constant hunt for novelty, and the familiar is too comfortable, too convenient, to be true. They probably have good ideals-- love, community, globalism-- but they exhibit some egocentric behaviors. To them, the modern is inauthentic (it is plastic, monetary, commodified), and the ancient or foreign is authentic by virtue of it being obscure. In their constant hunt for authenticity, they speak honestly to a fault. They cannot filter their thoughts, and others will become frustrated or disturbed by some of their harsh criticisms. They may also become socially isolated due to their tangents, their rants, their overconfidence, and their delusions of grandeur. For this reason, they socialize with others of their kind, and those with other shared interests.

Related interests: They are guaranteed to have some typical nerdy or mainstream tastes, despite dwelling on extremely unaccessible media. They’ve experimented with various drugs, but they are not the partying type. They listen to experimental music which to most other people sounds only like sound.

Drag - This stereotype primarily refers to drag queens, who dress up in flamboyant exaggerations of women’s clothing. This archetype is very conscious of their appearance-- their sense of self is deeply connected to their physical traits, and as a result, they discuss and amplify the physical traits they closely identify with. This applies out of drag just as much as it applies in drag. If they are visibly non-white, they may very closely identify with their ethnicity, and engage in (probably harmless) self-stereotyping, or otherwise significantly engage with their heritage (e.g. cooking, dressing, speaking the language/wanting to learn the language and never getting around to it). If they are especially skinny, they will dress to emphasize it, and they will carry themself with the confidence of a skinny person who wants to be skinny. If they are especially overweight, they care deeply about body positivity, or in some cases, will purposefully make themself the butt of the joke, and tell fat jokes about themself all the time. A blond/blonde will take extra care to coif their hair, a curvy person will move to emphasize the shape of their body, etc. Other facets of their personality and background may also become the subject of some verbal self-stereotyping (usually of the purposeful, joking kind)-- they may talk about how southern they are, or how “poor” they are, or how communist they are, etc. They may have a (flexible, ever-changing) list of attributes they ascribe to themself, and go out of their way to express these traits, while holding a complex, passive-aggressive relationship with their undesired traits. If they are a drag queen who generally lives as a man, then he wears distinctly male clothing most of the time, but his look is distinctive-- not necessarily fashionable, and unlikely to be flashy, but most certainly distinctive. In this case, he might wear something which represents a surprising, subversive hint of femininity amidst a masculine look: for example, a pair of earrings, or carefully done eyebrows, or a quiet hint of lipstick, or beneath a men’s shirt, a corset. They may not necessarily be extroverted, but they certainly will be sociable and conscious of the feelings of others. If they are rude and obnoxious, then they may be consciously ignoring the needs of others. They have some slight, superficial social justice tendencies, but in being an ally to other groups, they end up with a foot in their mouth. They are not angry for the sake of any minority group; they are merely an advocate, and they are proud to advocate, and when they do put their foot in their mouth, they expose a hidden chink in their advanced social skills. Sooner or later, they will drastically misunderstand the needs of others, because they are quick to project their experiences and ways of thinking and feelings onto others, and in trying to make others happy, they may be seeking out the happiness of an imagined other self; it’s empathy, if a bit misguided.

Related interests: They love pop music, and have had their fair share of drinking and clubbing. Their tastes swing mainstream and they have had strange, adventurous experiences. They are more likely than most people to be superstitious, because they like it when things are simple, stereotypical, and easy to explain; they believe in predictions of the future, and they latch onto astrological stereotypes of other people.

Live laugh love - They have an addiction to inspirational quotes, and it’s beginning to effect their personal relationships. They post inspirational quotes on Facebook. They decorate kitchens with little signs and chalkboards and potholders, inspirational quotes adorning them each. And yes, above all, they worship those three words: live, laugh, love. They are probably a mother in their 40s or above. If not, they have a great and loving relationship with their mother; they openly share interests and hobbies with their mother, and treat their mother the same as a friend. Either way, they live a privileged life. They are financially safe, and they are guaranteed food, housing, and comfort every day, possibly for their entire life. They may live comfortably in suburbia, or they might be filthy rich. If they work, it is not too intensive, and they have a lot of time for their many hobbies and interests. They’re caring and giving with a lot of patience, and they’re quite extroverted, with a lot of friends they meet regularly. However, while they pretend to be adventurous, they are not adventurous; they are aspirational, while remaining comfortable. Their magnetism to inspirational quotes comes from a comfortability with self-love and self-care, which comes from a privilege to take time for oneself, and the privilege of a healthy upbringing.

Related interests: Pets. They’re a cat-lover or a dog-lover. Caring for another creature is an important hobby for them. They love aesthetics, particularly simple interior design, conventional makeup, and plain yet expensive clothing. They probably have an interest in a specific country or region, and cultural inspiration may or may not be respectful. They may be on social media. If they’re young, they’re on Instagram. If they’re on the older side, they’re all about Facebook.

Some primary interests which fit less cleanly into archetypes, or which I otherwise will not be describing on this list: discovering the culture of parents or ancestors, a specific culture unrelated to oneself, being religious (should be specific to religion and sect), true crime/serial killers

Keep an eye out for a second post about secondary interests, and the difference between primary and secondary interests.

#prompts #writeblr #character concept #writing inspiration #inspo

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beinglibertarian · 6 years

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Rolling Stone Gathers Moss

“Why bother with newspapers, if this is all they offer? Agnew was right. The press is a gang of cruel faggots. Journalism is not a profession or a trade. It is a cheap catch-all for fuckoffs and misfits – a false doorway to the backside of life, a filthy piss-ridden little hole nailed off by the building inspector, but just deep enough for a wino to curl up from the sidewalk and masturbate like a chimp in a zoo-cage.”

– Hunter S. Thompson

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas by “Raoul Duke” first appeared in Rolling Stone magazine in November 1971. The preceding quote from that publication sums up the environment that led to the rise and, eventually, the fall of the great Rolling Stone itself; the shift away from the counterculture that it once represented and the pathological deterioration of principled liberalism.

If these words were to be circulated on the campuses of U.C. Berkley today the same way they were in 1971, you could expect firebombs launched through windows, police cruisers overturned, and any poor fool in a red hat to be viciously assaulted with a bike lock. University students today surmise that musings this offensive, have been manufactured by the primitive IBM computer that once spat out numbers used to help exterminate Jews in the Nazi death camps; a right-wing hate machine. Or maybe Milo Yiannapolous wrote it?

The suffocating media bias of the 1960s was difficult to escape. A lethargic gray specter of middle-class America was distributed with cunning sterility through the generic, bogus smiles of cable news networks and traditional print. Despite the election and assassination of Kennedy and the signing of the Civil Rights Act, if you had turned on a T.V. this was still Eisenhower’s America: regimented, religious, conservative. And the cultural vacuum created by the Eisenhower years had began to suck even harder with Lyndon Banes Johnson at the helm.

American media was out of touch with this new generation. Elitist authoritarians were preaching their moral superiority stamped with stars and stripes to a generation of cynics. These kids didn’t have a fucking clue what they wanted, but they wanted no part of what they were being given. So rose Rolling Stone, a counterculture bible for babyboomers, co-founded by Jann Wenner.

The adjective “cruel,” meaning to willfully cause pain or suffering to others and feeling no concern about it, paired with the noun “faggot,” the antiquated pejorative used to define a homosexual man, is Thompson’s description of the media community of the day. A description evidently endorsed through publication by Jann Wenner in 1971. Because according to Thompson: “…there is no such thing as objective journalism. The phrase itself is a pompous contradiction in terms.”

Wenner today lives with his common law partner Matt Nye in, I’m guessing, New York City. He gives big money to Democrat candidates and makes millions off fabricated stories about the gang-rape epidemic at the University of Virginia. Then loses that money and gives more money to Democrat candidates. Wenner’s closet homosexuality in 1971 didn’t have him take any offence to Thompson’s comments, or at least not enough to hinder publishing the “hate speech.” Maybe it was the dollar signs flashing in his eyes, knowing that something as wild as Thompson’s Vegas adventure was a viable revenue stream. Or maybe liberals back then had more important things to bitch about.

Things were different in the 1960s. The anti-war movement and the civil rights movement were a just cause. The catalyst for a just movement of equal rights for women and gays and minorities was free speech, of which Jann Wenner was a huge proponent. When students at U.C. Berkley marched in the streets in the 1960s, it was an attack on the elitist, authoritarians and an establishment hellbent on keeping opposing viewpoints and the ideas of personal liberty stifled. The gang of “cruel faggots” kept the official narrative running but no one under 30 was listening.

The whole goddamn world had had enough of the travesty of war in Southeast Asia. There was no ignoring the ineptitude of American politics. The only reasonable thing to do in 1969 was to drive out to Altamont for the weekend, load up on heinous chemicals, hunker down and rethink your approach to the political process.

Thompson, the then-young, liberal anti-hero, could often be found gobbling LSD and firing his guns (he was a lifetime member of the NRA) at propane bottles for a crowd of jeering burnouts or Bay area bikers at his fortified compound, Owl Farm, in Woody Creek Colorado.

It was Jann Wenner’s idea to put Hunter, with all of his fear and loathing, on to the campaign trail in 1972. Why not get the guy who wrote Hell’s Angels? Hunter was someone with a penchant for dealing with vicious thugs and sick freaks gone crazy on power, someone who could draw a parallel between Richard Nixon and Sonny Barger.

Thompson’s openly-biased, subjective and wild account of the 1972 presidential election was the red Chevy convertible of campaign coverage. ‘Sympathy for the Devil’ on repeat and at full volume, barrelling across the country at 110 miles an hour or so and in search of an honest politician. In Hunter’s eyes, the only one that even came close was George McGovern, the senator from South Dakota.

McGovern’s non-interventionist platform focused on a complete withdrawal from Vietnam, amnesty for draft evaders and a Milton Freidman inspired, negative income-tax meant to replace the bureaucratic burden of social welfare programs and a complicated tax code. Thompson’s version of events is the story of an idealistic underdog fighting against the odds only to be crushed by postmodern Americanism and the establishment incumbent, “Tricky Dick Nixon.” McGovern might have owed a White House win, in part, to Thompson’s and Rolling Stone’s relentless support had he not owed his White House loss to the mental distress of his vice-presidential pick, Thomas Eagleton.

There’s no way to properly explain how great Rolling Stone was in those early years. How well the magazine represented the anti-establishment culture, individual liberty and equality for everyone. It can’t be compared to anything else because there was nothing else, only the traditional mainstream garbage and Rolling Stone.

In the four decades that followed, the magazine continually fell behind market trends in the music industry, clinging nostalgically to some bygone era. They were late to the party covering punk in the 70’s. While they tried to figure out what had happened in 1991 Seattle they had totally dropped the ball on hip-hop. All of a sudden it was three years later, Kurt Cobain was already dead and they had lost so much ground in the L.A. scene that the black community had given up on them.

Wenner had pompously brushed off having any type of internet media strategy until around 2009, when he appointed one of his sons in charge of the “digital media” division. The type of position acquired only by a millionaire trust-fund brat of a rich liberal.

For years, Rolling Stone was unable to get a handle on what was happening in music or technology. Incompetence was a bad rash that spread through the entire organization. Getting caught with the University of Virginia gang-rape lies was an obvious black eye on the magazine. Wenner’s ability to make sound decisions was in question. His son should have been sent to North Dakota to learn how to weld. Despite all of that, the magazine was still making money, selling something like 1.5 million copies monthly. Not that anyone would admit to reading it or spending money on it.

On February 20, 2005 Hunter Thompson blew his own brains out in the kitchen of Owl Farm. His chronic alcohol and drug abuse had rendered his writing profitless and that was of no use to Rolling Stone. He had survived the last 10 years by republishing old articles and collections of his work from different outlets. He had already lost faith in the American political process. After Bill Clinton failed to appease his concerns over firearms, marijuana legalization and the American constitution, Hunter simply lost interest and poured himself a stiff drink.

One of the core tenets of Thompson’s “Gonzo journalism” was: total subjectivity; blatant, outright bias. An approach emulated by current Rolling Stone top shelf contributor, Matt Taibbi; a pliable, milquetoast impressionist with a learned sense of Thompson’s wit and scorn. The trick, which Taibbi understands as did Thompson, is that good journalism has a subjective theme, of course, but doesn’t blur the lines that keep public servants accountable. Taibbi likens journalists cozying up to politicians to the separation of church and state. Lacking objectivity, a good journalist should still keep an arms length from politicians and be critical of all of them, especially ones entrenched for decades in unashamed cronyism, a disregard for human life and vicious foreign policy.

“Reporters are supposed to be unpleasant, grumpy people who instantly deface the posters of the powerful whenever they get the chance”

– Matt Taibbi

In 2008, Taibbi had the opportunity to join other journalists on one of Obama’s campaign flights. He liked Obama, but when he noticed all the pictures that lined the walls, pictures of Obama and all the different journalists, all with their arms around then candidate Obama and smiling, he admits that he felt a little dirty.

The real downfall of the magazine was that Jann Wenner had hitched the Rolling Stone wagon to a political party instead of a political principal.

Obama graced the cover of Rolling Stone annually through his presidency. Jann Wenner and him had carved out their friendship and put it on display. Few presidents have had the opportunity to sustain 8 full years of foreign bloodshed without any outrage from Wenner and co.

Now that Obama was out, there was a constant theme in the election for his replacement and the primaries leading up to it. Americans were sick of the status quo. They were sick of being fed lies from mainstream media and “fake news.” People were waiting to revolt in the wake of establishment politics. Just give them a guy who’s going to shit on everything and see what happens.

American media today is out of touch and not only with this new generation. Outlets like Rolling Stone keep the official narrative going, but no one under 30 is listening.

When Rolling Stone endorsed Hillary Clinton for president, that was it. The joke was over. Jann Wenner had finally come out of the closet as an elitist authoritarian and a cruel faggot.

* Darcy Gerow is a family man and tradesman. He is a national board member for the Libertarian Party of Canada and the co-founder of @TheHardTruthsBookClub, an organization committed to causing greatness in working age me through brotherhood and literature.

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burstbombbitch · 7 years

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really ridiculously detailed character stats.

FULL NAME: Bonbon Rosalia Charbonneau NICKNAME(S): Bunny, Bon, Rosie, Xiuying (mother only). AGE: 19 - 21, verse dependent. MYERS-BRIGGS TYPE: ENTJ BIRTH DATE: December 5th. ETHNICITY: While Ethnicity is a messy case ( having stolen it from humans past, of course ), Bonbon would be essentially Chinese, with an unknown other half ( he has claimed French as his own for quite some time ) on the part of her father. Her mother hails from there, and the nation she was born in was a fragment of the now destroyed human country, China. The French aspect, adopted by her father, is all she knows. PLACE OF BIRTH: While her father insists she was born in Inkopolis, she was technically born on their returning trip back from a neighboring Inkling country --- Wūhanzéi. GENDER IDENTITY: Cisgender female. PREFERRED PRONOUN(S): She/Her. SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual. RELIGION: Believes in the Great Fax Machine. OCCUPATION: The lead pop-star of a musical light show performance, Inkaesthesia. FACE CLAIM: I draw her! But for another verse, I use Allura from Voltron.

Relationships

PARENTS: She’s definitely daddy’s little girl. Her relationship with her mother, albeit improved over time, is still mostly on a seldom basis --- when she feels kind enough to reach out. Despite Celeste’s best efforts, Bon still seems to hold a ( misguided ) grudge. SIBLINGS: None. SIGNIFICANT OTHER(S): She’s gentle and doting, as she is with anyone else. A needy attention whore, to say the very least --- you’ll know damn well when she’s feeling affectionate, considering she ( quite literally ) sticks to you. CHILDREN: None, presently. LEVEL OF SEXUAL EXPERIENCE: She’s not a master at it, but she’s had sex before. At this point, she’s not particularly adventurous, but she’s no qualms ( granted you won’t catch me roleplaying it anymore ha ha fml ). STORY OF FIRST KISS: Does it count if she grabbed them by the collar, yanked them down to her height, and held their lips there for the longest time? Movies made it seem so romantic --- she couldn’t help but do the same. A shame that their back probably hurt after the fact. A SOCIAL PERSON? From time to time. There are other moments where she’d rather be on her own, reading a good book in the peaceful solitude of her own home. HOW DO THEY THINK OTHERS PERCEIVE THEM? She’s come to grow into a sense of greater self-esteem. Knowing that she is an idol, and thus a role-model to many, she places upon her persona a better outlook for those to look up to. As a result, she thinks she is within good graces with the community ( at least, those who she has not wronged in the past ). HOW DO OTHERS ACTUALLY PERCEIVE THEM? As a result, she is indeed treated with returned kindness. It is not without fault, however --- those who have yet to forgive her make their perpetual disdain known. It is with grace that she accepts it --- provided it never interferes with her day-to-day life. She isn’t above sabotage, even though her more brutish ways are long gone.

Physical Traits

EYE COLOR(S): Lilac. Her pupils are stars. HAIR COLOR(S): Pastel pink ink, gradient to lilac. HEIGHT: 4′0″ at her ( unfortunate ) max height. WEIGHT: 69 lbs. ;^) BODY BUILD: A very bottom-heavy pear. Thick, toned legs. Her arms boast some muscle, but most of it belongs to her legs. GLASSES? CONTACTS? She wears them purely for aesthetic ( and reading small text ). STYLE OF DRESS/TYPICAL OUTFITS: You’ll often find her in flowy attire, things that trail behind her, or poof outwards --- lolita-style, so to speak. She has an air of grace around the things she wears, loving to be fashionably jarring from time to time. One day, she’ll wear pretty pastels, fluffed out dresses, all lavish with ribbons and bows. The next, she’ll wear a slim-fitting tuxedo, tails flapping behind her ( and those days are, of course, the worst for those who find themselves enthralled by plump lower halves ). Most commonly, she’ll wear things that accent her growing collection of bio-luminescent freckles. JEWELRY? TATTOOS? PIERCINGS? There isn’t much fondness for things that rest on her skin, so despite being the type to be ridiculously fancy, she wears little jewelry. Tattoos are also by and far pointless for her --- considering her body naturally grows a “type” of their own. Piercings, however, mostly extend to a simple earring on her right ear, one that makes a jingle as she turns her head. ATHLETIC? Very. Despite having others to guard her, Bon’s activity has not ebbed. She still practices Capoeira --- both on her performing stage and in her spare time --- and strengthens her lower body. Her arms are toned, but by comparison, the power remains honed in her legs. The Dapple Dualies, too, are a method of exercise, for the power of jet propulsion must be assisted by body as well. HOW DO THEY WALK: Contrary to popular belief, the way she walks is merely an imitation. She once saw a girl’s sashay, the way she rhythmically crossed her legs, strutting in heels... and mimicked it for her own. Her hips push from side to side, her tentacles swaying like a pendulum behind her. Her heels dance around one another as her careful catwalk cuts her a path. Despite the air of debonair and confidence, she still finds herself to be sheepish when it comes to attracting the attention of others unintentionally. HOW DO THEY SMELL LIKE: Roses. Honey. Cinnamon. Tea. All things she loves to consume --- the roses included. Not the healthiest diet, but she definitely leaves a wonderful wafting scent about the room. WHAT’S THEIR POSTURE LIKE? She holds herself high, straight, but no longer stiff. Her hands, either resting upon her thighs or ensnared behind her back, are bound solely to keep them from flying wildly as she gestures. It’s frequent that you’ll find her swaying, ( unfortunately ) shaking wide hips from side to side. In reality, while she attempts to pose herself like a goddess, she is a bouncy mother fucker. In private, she slouches, throwing her legs up and kicking back. You can easily find her in an array of confusing poses, like the cat she truly is. It purely depends on her closeness with you as a friend to determine which you’ll get.

Phobias and Diseases

PHOBIA(S): Thalassophobia, monophobia, athazagoraphobia, and sedatephobia. MENTAL DISEASE(S): Synaesthesia, Autism, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. PHYSICAL DISEASE(S): None. WHEN WAS THIS DIAGNOSED? The unfamiliar strain of the former was discovered at birth, while the latter two are unknown. Through healthier methods and lifestyles, it matters less than it did in her childhood.

Intellect

LEVEL OF EDUCATION: College graduate. LEVEL OF SELF-ESTEEM: Knowing that she is a role-model and favorite to many, she has created a persona that holds itself with extreme dignity and pride. In reality, she is a self-critical and fidgety being. Ultimately, it balances out --- she is of high self-esteem more often than not --- but she is not immune to moments of weakness. GIFTS/TALENTS: Song, dance, and a literal Killer Wail for a voice. She’s also harboring a brain that can recollect numbers and advanced vocabulary with ease. SHORTCOMINGS: Socially inept, occasionally unable to decipher communicative cues, morally grey. STYLE OF SPEECH: As a result of witnessing the carnage she can cause with a raised voice, Bonbon becomes very soft-spoken. Her voice is like a lilt, a harmonious meld of crescendos and intentional pauses. She treats speaking like a song intentionally --- when bored, or disinterested, the monotony she holds is ridiculously noticeable. This way, she can keep herself entertained throughout the conversation, without the need of it being something she’s intrigued by. “LEFT BRAIN” OR “RIGHT BRAIN” THINKER: Right brain, for sure. ARTISTIC? Very! She writes her own songs and designs her own dances. MATHEMATICAL? She’s definitely got a penchant for numbers. MAKES DECISIONS BASED MOSTLY ON EMOTIONS, OR ON LOGIC? Emotions. She likes to pretend to be logical, but she’s all about following her heart, now. MOST SENSITIVE ABOUT/VULNERABLE TO: Her ears. Her voice. OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST? Optimist! EXTROVERT OR INTROVERT? Ambivert! It really depends on how she’s feeling and/or who she’s with. You’ll find that she’s ( somehow ) more extroverted, though.

Details/Quirks

NIGHT OWL OR EARLY BIRD? Night owl. LIGHT OR HEAVY SLEEPER? Heavy sleeper. FAVORITE FOOD: Soft things! Chewy things! She loves the sensation. LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: Yogurt and eggs. The latter much more than the former. COFFEE OR TEA? CATCH HER DRINKING TEA LIKE LIFE FUEL. CRUNCHY OR SMOOTH PEANUT BUTTER? Smooth! She loves to lick the spoon. LEFTY OR RIGHTY? Righty! FAVORITE COLOR? Pastels of any kind! CUSSER? HAHAHA--no. SMOKER? DRINKER? DRUG USER? Nope, na uh, zero. PETS? Her fiance keeps trying to avoid getting one. :c

tagged by: @sturmazing blows kisses at u tagging: hey. do it

#✧.° ⦙ ɪ ʟɪᴋᴇ ʜɪɢʜ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇs ᴛʜᴀᴛ ɪ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ʟᴏsᴇ. — ❪ & dash games. ❫#✧.° ⦙ ғʟᴏᴡɪɴɢ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛɪᴍᴇ; ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀᴛʜ ɪs ʏᴏᴜʀs ᴛᴏ ᴄʟɪᴍʙ. — ❪ & hcs. ❫#hey take it cause i need to clear me drafts a tad #long post

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maryisis · 5 years

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A “coming out” post...

I am choosing to participate in a global “coming out” movement called “Thank you Plant Medicine”(TYPM)- (from the website: This movement was born as a response to the stigma in society about the use of psychoactive plants and therapy-assisted psychedelics.We dream of a world where these substances are free from stigma and discrimination, for personal and collective healing.We are organizing a global wave of gratitude for February 20, 2020, calling on people to “come out” with their stories of healing and transformation on that day, using the hashtag #ThankYouPlantMedicine. www.thankyouplantmedicine.com

I would first like to preface by saying that the use of psychoactive/consciousness altering plants or fungi is NOT for everyone and by sharing my perspective I mean in no way to persuade or promote it. Okay? Okay.

At the young and seemingly fearless age of fourteen I learned through reading some books and magazines about how a person could consume specific kinds of mushrooms and totally alter and explore their consciousness, and perhaps other dimensions of reality (this was before internet use was widespread). I was utterly fascinated and being the curious and hungry-for-the-meaning-of-life young teen that I was I decided to seek out these magical fungi. It didn’t take me long to find them, with the help of a more experienced person who knew how to find them in the cow pasture.....(Panaeolus cyanescens). I had only read about effects from various books and articles but I really was not prepared at all for what I was about to experience. After consuming who knows how many mushrooms (not very smart...) about 20 minutes later I began to feel my senses becoming highly elevated and intensified. The intensity only grew stronger and stronger, to the point of becoming totally overwhelming with surging feelings and emotions and then also altered perception to the point of only being able to see vibrant pulsating rainbow dripping rootlike formations filling my vision. I had no idea how to navigate this unknown realm of feeling and perception, yet I rode it out meeting the experience with utter awe. Then, I started to feel some background trepidation at how I was supposed to return home in such a state, with it being a school night and all...long story short I made it home safely with my tripper “boyfriend” at the time and he informed my parents what we had done, much to their dismay at seeing their daughter in such a state. I somehow floated up to my room where I spent the remainder of the experience laying in a bed that I felt I was continuously sinking into, watching the trees dance outside my window. I had deep insights that night into the personal truth of my being and regard the experience as a sort of “rite of passage” out of my childhood self. That was 25 years ago. Now in retrospect- had I known how the brain develops, I probably would not have done such a thing...I think there’s something to be said for the importance of having your brain fully developed before altering the brain chemistry ...yet I’m pretty sure I ended up alright and I can’t say I regret any of my use of mind altering substances (ok-except maybe a couple of times....lol). As I said before- I was a very curious soul, and it didn’t take me long to realize that the “Just Say No” propaganda campaign that I grew up with was more than just a war on drugs- it was a war on consciousness. How we got to this point of “mind control” is something to ponder.

My relationship with psychedelic plants/fungi has changed a lot over the years and I would say that the major shift happened about 19 years ago when I participated in my first plant medicine ceremony. Finally- I got a taste of what my soul has been thirsting for- Ceremony and experiencing the sacred and divine aspects of existence. Rewind-I lived most of my life in a community and area where Cannabis was freely and frequently used recreationally. I also began using cannabis in my teens- in a non-intentional way- not to say that I didn’t have meaningful experiences in that non-intentional context- However I have learned that intention, ritual and/or ceremony can greatly enhance the benefit in the communing with these “entheogens”- a term I like to use which translates literally as “becoming god within.” When I realized the extent as to which the society in I lived tries to govern our lives- to the point of having laws that make NATURE ILLEGAL- I felt very passionate about RECLAIMING MY BASIC HUMAN RIGHT- to explore my consciousness. When I saw peaceful and kind people I knew facing jail time and/or having their houses taken away because of growing cannabis, it deeply disturbed me. And so my motivation in “coming out” comes from this place within, that believes that it is morally WRONG that plants and fungi that have awesome potential healing value are illegal. Anyone who does their studies of scientific research as well as historical/cultural studies will learn how much value the plant of Cannabis, for example, has for healing. The endo-cannabinoid system of the human body is proof that humans have evolved, in close relationship with this plant. And of course HEMP, which is the non-psychoactive cannabis species has a plethora of amazing uses which would greatly help our society and environment if it were more widely embraced and cultivated.

Thankfully “the times are a changin!’” More and more studies are being allowed and funded, the laws of the land are starting to change in many places and more and more people are beginning to learn about and honor the deep inherent value of these natural plant medicines. These are exciting times and yet we still have a long way to go! And it is my perspective that we need these plant medicines now more than ever so as to help with the healing of humanity on a spiritual level- to awaken us out of the materialist mindset trance of scarcity, unworthiness, fear and disconnection from nature. The fascinating scientific studies are showing us how the chemicals in these plants and fungi work on the brain, in beneficial ways to help people heal with ailments such as depression, PTSD and anxiety. The healing potential of these plants and fungi have been known for thousands of years to various indigenous cultures, who have kept such wisdom alive throughout the millennia through their initiated healer lineages. It is very important to honor the traditions and lineages from which the traditional ceremonial use of these plant medicines originate from because it is these people that have the deeply developed relationship with these plants and understand them in intimate ways which most western psyche’s do not and I dare say cannot (unless immersed in the studies and apprenticing with these traditional plant medicine healers.) And so while these are hopeful times with potential healing that these plant medicines present our deeply troubled and sick society, we must be mindful that our own egoistic tendencies don’t get the best of us. I have been working with powerful plant medicines for over 20 years now and I am still most definitely a humble student on the path of healing...still learning the delicate process of surrender to the inexplicable healing powers of these plant teachers and the wisdom teachings and deeply meaningful insights they bestow.

Personally, most meaningful and valuable to my own life, of which I have received from my relationship with plant medicine teachers, namely Ayahuasca and Psilocybin mushrooms, has been my feeling of CONNECTION- Connection to Nature, to Spirit, to everything! In my expanded states I can see clearly how my thoughts and actions affect those around me and the whole. In working with these plants/fungi I naturally gravitated towards living a more healthier lifestyle- being careful of what I choose to consume physically or mentally. Unhealthy habits steadily and easily fell away. A significant healing aspect of these plant medicines is how they have the capacity to disrupt our conditioned thought patterning- which is a very good thing because much of our behavior and thought processes are governed by our habitual patterning- which keeps us very limited in our perception and what we are capable of experiencing. This can lead in turn to depression, addiction, frustration, and other mental and physical ailments. As we are learning with the exciting field of neuroscience, our thoughts, emotions and perceptions are closely linked and work in a cyclical way. This leads me to honor the ways that these plants have helped me to develop my visionary abilities. One of the most powerful visionary perceptions I have had to date through Grandmother medicine was the experience of perceiving the ALL, underlying state of UNITY- it was an ineffable experience- impossible to put into words- but made a very deep impression on my life and perception of reality. I felt completely liberated from all fear and filled with AWE, totally absorbed in the interconnected matrix of all creation. One more thing. Being a singer and musician- it has been a profound gift and one of my greatest joys to sing my prayers and songs while in communion with plant medicine, in ceremony. I am so deeply grateful for all the plant teachers in my life- they are so dear to my heart and my relationship with each continues to evolve in mysterious and miraculous ways. Deep bows of reverence and respect.

One of the main ways I have integrated the visions and insights that I have received from these plants/fungi is through music. I have always been a musical person, since before I could even talk I was already singing. In my life today, Music is a central aspect and purpose of my incarnation. I feel inspired to add here that the wisdom of the Yogic path has also played an equally important role in my evolution- I was introduced to the path of Yoga also at 14, which has helped me immensely on my journey with its ancient and very relevant wisdom teachings of self realization. I have also always had an interest in the healing plants and started studying herbal healing in depth in my late teens. I have many healing plant allies that I work with on a daily basis.

Above photo with a Chacruna plant, the pair to the Ayahuasca vine, which contains DMT- the potent visionary molecule, belonging to the “Tryptamines,” indolealkylamine molecules, which evoke release of Seratonin and Dopamine. DMT is present naturally in the human body, especially in the gut. But only when paired with a MAOI (Monoamine oxidase inhibitor), which is found in Ayahuasca vine, can this molecule actually have its effects. The MAOI that are in the vine are classified as Beta-carbolines. These very special molecules are Harmine and Harmaline. Below is a photo of Ayahuasca vine Banisteriopsis caapi. Interestingly, when the molecule of harmine was first discovered in the vine, it was called “telepathine,” because “of the reported effects of Ayahuasca among the indigenous users, including: collective contact with and/or visions of jaguars, snakes, and jeweled birds, and ancestral spirits; the ability to see future events; and as the name suggests, telepathic communication among tribal members.”(from wikipedia)

Harmine can also be found in Syrian Rue seeds (Peganum harmala) as well as in Passionflower leaf (much lower amounts.) My experiences with Syrian Rue seed (extract) have been very significant actually, while it isn’t really psychedelic all on its own, I highly value the medicine that it is for calming the mind, increasing serotonin and inducing flow states of consciousness. It also creates energetic sensitivity and increased psychic(”telepathine”) ability. It ALSO is a powerful anti-parasitic- amazingly and much to my shock it rid my body of parasites! Thankfully it is NOT ILLEGAL(except in Australia where its controlled). The studies on Harmine and Harmaline are very promising and are shown to have significant healing properties, such as anti-inflammatory and anti-cancer actions. I’m very enthusiastic for the healing potential of Syrian Rue and Ayahuasca vine!

One last thing before I close this share and it has to do with integrity and sustainability. The way I see it is that these plants are coming into prominence in our society right now because they are very much needed for our healing. We are facing various levels of existential crises, and I see these medicines acting like the white blood cells of this earth, to help us humans heal our sickness and reconnect to our sense of purpose and belonging to this world (not the world belonging to us, for our use/abuse). However, we cannot continue to take and take without giving back- that sort of behavior is how we’ve gotten ourselves into this imbalance within ourselves and the planet. It is my prayer and vision that those who are called to plant medicine path, do so with the intention of healing themselves so that they may be of service to the healing of the WHOLE. (There’s a lot more that could be said here about safety, the ceremonial container and the facilitator/shaman/medicine healer that creates the ceremonial container.I would recommend this article for this specific topic). Each person has their own unique calling and purpose in which they can serve the whole and that is for each soul to discover within. We start by healing ourselves...that is the key- because our individual healing ripples out. The healing light and love that we cultivate within shines out to inspire and awaken light and love in others. Our own inner harmony will reflect to the outer world. When we live our lives from a balanced place of “right relationship” and reciprocity, as a result we cultivate more integrity and mutual respect. We must integrate the wisdom we gain into daily practices that anchor more loving kindness and compassion because that is what is needed on this planet.

Thanks for reading!!

#thankyouplantmedicine #plantmedicine #healingplants #visionaryplants #decriminalizenature

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kootenaygoon · 5 years

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So,

I’d never read anything like it.

It was copy-editing time at the Star in early January 2016, and I was picking my way through a tedious stack of community pages when I came to the cover story: a sports feature about Sean Dooley, son of the former mayor. He was one of the assistant coaches for the Nelson Leafs, and he was promoting a new mental health awareness initiative.

But this story went way beyond that. It was thoughtful, radical, empathetic, revolutionary even. I was feeling more and more hyperbolic, the further I got into this multi-page opus. Our new sports reporter had somehow dredged up a harrowing story of abuse, addiction and attempted suicide, then tracked Sean’s recovery, redemption and pivot to mental health advocate. This wasn’t the sort of thing you typically read in a newspaper.

This shit sung.

I turned to Greg. “This Dooley piece is epic. I can’t believe he went on record with half of this. I mean, this is a sports story but it reads like a Tolstoy novel.”

He glanced away from his screen for a moment and smirked. “Perhaps you’re not the only one around here with literary ambitions.”

“This is better than any of his stuff I read online. This shit is next level.”

He nodded. “What’s most remarkable is that he obviously cultivated enough trust with Sean to make him comfortable to share like that. Sean’s never done anything like that previously, to my knowledge.”

“I thought Kai was wasting his time, doing that second interview, but obviously it was worth it. No wonder this took him like a week to get down. I feel like he was transcribing for days, right?”

Kai had turned out to be the perfect hire at the perfect time. He brought his big city sensibilities and instantly proved himself by expertly capturing the small town drama surrounding the departure of the Nelson Leafs’ head coach. He was ultra-friendly, with an unusually loud radio announcer voice and an easy rapport with everyone around him. Office morale ascended. I looked at him and thought so that’s what a professional looks like. He took himself seriously, and sometimes that came off as pretentious, but he had the skills necessary to walk his talk. Having him around made everyone in the newsroom up their game, almost reflexively, to prove that we were up to snuff.

“This totally changes the way I look at Sean Dooley,” I said. “I mean, this is like going out on Baker Street and stripteasing. And he’s lived here his whole life.”

“That’s one way to put it.”

One of the things I appreciated most about Kai’s piece was that it finally touched on the electric undercurrent of Nelson’s culture: drugs. The opioid crisis was in full swing, people were dying of fentanyl overdoses daily, but still nobody was acknowledging what was happening right in front of our faces. I had been reading Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari, a book about the War on Drugs, and I wanted to explore through journalism the way that addiction was misunderstood in our communities—which was exactly what Kai was doing. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous.

Meanwhile I was having my own flirtations with drug culture. The winter of 2015 had been a little easier than the year before, weather-wise, but I’d been going blacker and blacker places in my mind. Over the Christmas break Paisley and I had gone to parties that were way out of our depth, drug-wise, and I’d missed a few days of work recovering at the beginning of January. Staying at home meant having lengthy fights, neglecting our dogs, and sleeping through brain-fogged afternoons. We were making poor choices, but so was everybody else. I decided I needed a project, something special for Paisley, that would convince her that all our drama didn’t mean anything. We were going to come out the other side of this, we were going to survive Nelson, and we were going to be together forever.

Eventually I settled on the idea of a striptease, but a more literal one than Dooley’s. There was an upcoming burlesque show, and I got myself a performance slot. I just needed to find a way to get Paisley onstage while I stripped from my full lumberjack outfit right down to my Joe Boxers. I was always doing over-the-top romantic gestures, but this was definitely the most public one yet. I settled on “Can’t Feel My Face” by The Weeknd as the soundtrack, noting that by the end of the music video he’s literally on fire. I brought all my ideas to Charlotte Coco Orchid then performed for her, in a tiny garage down in Fairview.

She hooted in excitement as I rehearsed, then gave me notes.

“The key is to take your time. You’ve got multiple minutes to fill, but only so many articles of clothing,” Charlotte said. “So when you’re taking off your boot, don’t just take off your boot. Make a show of taking off your boot. Make it the sexiest thing that’s ever happened.”

“How do you make taking off a boot sexy?”

Charlotte laughed, then jutted out her leg. She gyrated around it, reaching down to grab ahold of her cowboy boot, then coyly flipped her hair as she slipped it sensuously off the end of her toes.

“I don’t know if I can do that.”

“You don’t have to do it that way, but make your movements intentional. Make the most of each element. You don’t want to blow your whole load in the first thirty seconds, right? You have to think about the long game, because once you’re naked, you’re naked.”

After the rehearsal I smoked a joint with Charlotte in the backyard. I knew she wouldn’t be scandalized by the things I was telling her, because she wasn’t scandalized by anything. She had two grown children and had experienced a string of less than ideal men. I told her about some of the things Paisley and I were fighting about, the things that had led to this striptease idea, and she nodded knowingly.

“We all make mistakes, honey. All you can do is be better today. You’re going to be great.”

The Kootenay Goon

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deepestcowboytragedy · 7 years

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Black Mirror | Memento

Assignment 2 | Part 1

In “The Entire History of You,” all privacy is destroyed. When you go to the airport, they don’t check your passport--they scan your memories. It is the most extreme example of “you shouldn’t be worried if you don’t have anything to hide.” There is no mention of social networks, but we can probably assume that they are integrated completely into the “grain” itself, allowing people to directly share their memories, rather than photos or videos. The stigma of not having a grain is akin to not having a facebook--you are looked on with shock, horror, and occasionally a bit of begrudging respect. But mostly there’s shock and horror. How can you go through life without the social network? How do you stay connected with friends? How do you even make friends?

Technologies like this change communication, social structures, and how people interact. They change the entire notion of what it is to be human. Being human is no longer meeting up to play baseball--it’s logging on to play an MMORPG. It’s not doing homework in the library, but setting up a Google Hangout. It’s not getting together to go to the movie theatre, but watching something on Netflix and texting about it the next day. In Black Mirror’s world, even physical interactions are supplanted by the internal screen of the “grain.” When Liam and his wife have sex, they aren’t even experiencing it in the presence--they are watching memories of previous encounters from their memory banks.

We are living in a world where there are fewer and fewer real-world interactions. Instead, we interact over a system of screens, allowing ourselves to manipulate our presentation and our presence. Photos, videos, words--everything is edited and mediated. At the same time, we are freer to interact with more people than ever before. We can reach millions of people with a single click. How does this transform what we present? And are we more focussed on what we present to others, or to ourselves?

Assignment 2 | Part 2

Black Mirror’s “The Entire History of You” and the film Memento give two extreme examples of memory: in one, humans are able to recall and replay every experience in minute detail, and in the other, a man live only a few minutes at a time, remembering only what he manages to write down and then decipher from his previous notes. Both make the viewer consider the importance of memory and trust in the construction of our identites and our consciousness. How much are we living in the moment versus the past? How much do we trust our memories, or even our understanding of the present? In Memento, the main character, Leonard, has no memory to rely on, and so must create a system of “facts” that he writes down for himself and even tattoos on his body. This seems extreme, and frankly dangerous--how can he be sure that he will understand the meaning behind his short messages? He claims to have a good intuition after working as an insurance investigator, but we slowly see his mistakes as the movie goes on. He is easily manipulated, both by others and by himself. Even when another character, Natalie, flat out tells him she is going to take advantage of him, he cannot maintain composure long enough to write down this new “fact,” and it is lost to him.

Meanwhile, in Black Mirror, we see the opposite. Every tiny detail of life is recorded and available to be re-watched through a futuristic technology called the “grain.” In fact, details that one couldn’t possibly notice when living through a moment are able to be zoomed in upon and explored. The main character, Liam, is able to replay his meeting at work and zoom in on the facial expressions and notes of the three managers interviewing him--something that he couldn’t possibly have kept track of consciously. Soon, we see him focussing on moments with his wife and her ex-boyfriend Jonas, finding proof of her infidelity. The white lies she told him at the beginning of their relationship have unfolded into a full on affair, and the “grain” gives him the ability to experience it in painful detail. He attacks Jonas, forcing him to delete his memories, and then forces his wife to play back her own memories of the affair. The idea of a private memory, or a misremembered event doesn’t exist in this world. Everything is considered accurate and ready for analysis.

We live in an odd conflagration of the two worlds. Our use of social media means we have a short-term memory, like Leonard. We even manipulate it just like he does, only making notes about what is important to us and our desires. However, our posts are never truly forgotten like his are. In that sense, our presence is far more grain-like. Everything we do online is recorded somewhere, compressed and archived.

FILM STUDY WORKSHEET | Memento (2000), dir. Christopher Nolan

1. Write a brief summary of the main plot, describing the event or events that are the focus of the film and stating where and when they take place.

Memento follows the journey of former insurance investigator Leonard as he searches for his wife’s rapist and alleged killer. This is complicated by the fact that in the attack, he suffered brain damage resulting in short-term memory loss: he cannot make new memories, and relies on a series of polaroid pictures, hand-written notes, and tattoos that cover his body in order to remember facts about his daily life and the man he is chasing. The movie moves backwards, revealing past events as the story progresses, and showing the audience just how crippled Leonard is by his system of notes. Despite his multiple statements of confidence in his ability to read people, we see his weaknesses when it comes to interacting with others highlighted more and more as the movie goes on.

2. Name and describe the protagonist and the antagonist in this story.

Leonard is the protagonist in this story, and acts a sort of anti-hero. He is motivated by vengeance, and lives his life simply in order to find the man that attacked his wife. Due to his memory condition, he is unfortunately easily manipulated by other characters in the story. There is not really one true antagonist in this film. Rather, the other characters shift from friend to foe or just moral ambiguity as we learn more about them. Since we see everything as scenes in Leonard’s short term memory, it takes a build up of several interactions to get a true read on whether the other characters are there to help or take advantage. Natalie and Teddy both appear to be helpful to Leonard at first, if rather suspiciously altruistic, but as we see more we discover their motivations.

Teddy is one of the cops that worked on the Leonard’s wife’s case, and is actually helpful at first, but ends up taking advantage of Leonard’s memory loss to his own ends. Natalie uses Leonard to get back at Teddy for killing her drug dealer boyfriend, and makes it quite clear that she has no qualms about doing so. She mocks his condition and the death of his wife.

3. In the story told by the film, what is the main conflict and how is it resolved?

Leonard is on the hunt for the rapist and murderer of his wife. Towards the end of the film we find out from Teddy that they have already found the man responsible almost a year earlier, and that Leonard killed him. Leonard simply has no memory, and so has continued to search for “John G.” We also discover through Teddy that Leonard’s wife was not murdered--she survived the attack, but living with Leonard and dealing with his memory loss took a tremendous toll on her. Teddy suggests that the story of Sammy Jankis was simply Leonard’s made-up attempt to explain away his guilt at her death. Sammy Jankis wasn’t married--it was Leonard’s wife that had diabetes, and who overdosed on insulin and entered a coma. Leonard refuses to believe this and is disgusted that Teddy has been using him, deciding that Teddy, whose real name is John Edward Gammel, will be his “John G.”

4. Identify and describe two literary elements or devices that are evident in the movie other than conflict, antagonist, protagonist and imagery. Other literary elements or devices may include: prologue, expository phase, voice, symbol, foreshadowing, flashback, irony, foil, opposition, archetype, motif, characterization, climax, and denouement. For each literary device that you identify, describe the role that it plays in presenting the story told by the film.

One literary device that the movie Memento includes is a series of flashbacks. Leonard flashes back to his wife and their life before the attack, and he also flashes back to the night of the attack and his injury. In the film, this device reinforces his issues with memory--his ability to retain and focus on old memories, and his inability to create new memories based on new information. Towards the end of the movie, we discover that even his old memories, his memories from before the accident, may not be correct--Teddy tells Leonard that it is his wife, and not Sammy Jankis’, that has diabetes. Suddenly, his flashback switches between pinching her on the leg and giving her an insulin shot on the leg. He cannot tell what is real.

Another literary device used in the movie is the climax. However, Memento uses it in a rather unorthodox way--it opens with the climactic scene of Leonard shooting a man in the head. But it still takes the rest of the movie to build up all the motivation for the scene, and when we finally reach it again in the narrative, it is just as climactic even though we don’t see him shoot again.

5. Music and lighting are part of the way that the moviemakers communicate their message. Go deeper than that. Give two specific examples of how other elements of the cinematic art, such as shot framing, camera angles, camera movement, color, editing choice, or length of take were used by the filmmakers to get their point across.

In Memento, the order of the narrative plays a major role in the way the filmmakers communicate their message. The movie is edited such that we see scenes in reverse order-- a scene will play out, and then the next scene will end where the previous began. If a straightforward narrative goes from A to B to C to D, this movie instead moves from point C to D, then B to C, then A to B. This emphasizes the short term memory loss that Leonard experiences--we begin by experiencing the most recent moment in time. However, the audience is privileged in that we eventually move backwards and learn more about what has happened to him and brought him to the final point (which was actually the starting point for this movie.

Another filmic element in Memento is the use of flashback. Leonard cannot make new memories, but he does retain knowledge of his old life, before his accident. He remembers his wife, and the audience is privy to flashes of her and their life together. The filmmakers use extreme close-ups, fast cuts, and dark lighting in portraying his fading or conflicting memories.

6. List three fictional scientific advances that play an important role in the story and for each: (a) describe the technological advance; (b) describe where the technology is now; (c) estimate how long, if ever, it will take civilization to reach that level of technology; (d) describe the effect that the technology had on the society described in the story; and (e) state whether you think the story was realistic in its portrayal of the effects of the new technology and give your reasons.

Memento does not include scientific advances in its story. Anterograde amnesia (inability to create new memories) is a real condition that has been documented and explored in the scientific community (Clive Wearing is perhaps the most famous patient) as well as in art (“H.M.” by Kerry Tribe).

7. Describe a lesson from this film that viewers can apply to their own lives: (1) to help them decide on a position to support on a public issue or (2) in their relations with family and friends. Detail the events that relate to this lesson.

Memento is a film that purports to be about memory, but it also very much about trust. Leonard must decide how much he trusts himself, how much he trusts others, how much he trusts his instinct, and how must he trusts his “facts.” He is forced to trust the “facts” that he has previously decided on, because there simply is no other recourse--he cannot check on information, he cannot question what has been written, he cannot ever really know where the information comes from. He says that facts are more trustworthy than memories, but his facts are a de-facto stand in for his memories, and they are just as easily manipulated. Indeed, at the end of the movie, we discover that he manipulates himself on purpose when he decides to record Teddy’s license plate number as John G.’s.

Viewers can apply these realizations to their own lives in the understanding that everything we observe can be manipulated. Facts and memories can all be skewed to someone else’s purpose or to our own. We must figure out what drives us and move forward as best we can.

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