#more on chuuya and control: he is UNABLE to admit to himself that he had little agency in joining the Mafia

[videogamelover99]

what would chuuya and dazais "greatest fears" be ? i was thinking about it just because, and i can't really seem to come up with a clear picture

Oooh I like this question anon.

Let's see.

Dazai's greatest fear is pretty explicitly stated. "Everything I ever want to keep, I lose." He's scared of attachment, so apathy is his go-to strategy.

You could also argue his greatest fear is the loss of control. Current Dazai's biggest flaw isn't even his use of cruelty or violence, or his lack of empathy, it's his inability to give control to others at the expense of his own. He fails countless times to tell other ADA members what exactly his plan is, in favor of them doing what he needs them to do in order for his plan to work. He doesn't trust Atsushi, Akutagawa, Ango or even Kunikida to work with him, instead he manipulates circumstances so that they would act in a way he can predict. He lies to people's faces so that whatever he decides needs to happen, happens. It's because of this tendency that I think Dazai is scared of losing control, because when he can't control a situation, he might lose something important to him. Like, yes, his current goals are saving people and pursuing justice, but a lot of people fail to see that to do so he actively has to work against his worst tendencies. He can't be emotionless and purely rational like Mori. All of his decisions, at the end of the day, are hinged on personal attachment. Mori leads the Port Mafia for the sake of the city. He abused Yosano and her power for the sake of the country. Dazai doesn't do anything for the "greater good", not really. He does it because he wants to find the desire to live. Because it was important to Oda. Because there are people he doesn't want to lose. And ironically enough, he lies to those same people for the sake of their long-term safety, for the sake of what is "best" for them.

Onto Chuuya!

Chuuya's mirror Dazai's in a very interesting way. He cares so much about people close to him, and there is also a sense for "the greater good" (saving the city) instilled in him that leads him to pledge his loyalty to Mori back in Fifteen. He keeps losing friends, over and over, to the point where the pattern becomes ridiculous. But Chuuya's not afraid of attachment, and while I'd also argue he's afraid of failure and losing control (specifically the agency to make his own decisions), I'd say his biggest fear is Dazai.

Heh, lemme explain. Stormbringer let us know that deep down, Chuuya is afraid his existence is meaningless, that he shouldn't have been born, and associates this fear very heavily with Dazai. "I shouldn't have been born? There's no way I'd think like that, like that bastard Dazai!" Chuuya is scared of becoming apathetic and nihilistic, because I think for him it is a very real possibility he has to fight against. He points out that he could have easily become Verlaine, a person who hates humanity and his own existence, who pursues indiscriminatory violence because of that, a person who finds Dazai relatable. But he had friends, people who could assure them, with their presence, that he matters in some way, be it because he's protecting them (the Sheep), or because he matters to them (the Flags, Adam). BUT he thinks becoming like Verlaine was a real possibility for him, and that speaks volumes in and of itself. (In the Beast Movie (spoilers), he arguably had). Chuuya doesn't just hate Dazai because he's selfish and manipulative and cruel (yada yada yada), he hates him because he looks at Dazai's apathy towards life and personal attachments and sees his own worst fears realized in another person. He doesn't want to fall into the same pit as Dazai, but he's terrified that at some point he will, and that's...damn. It's also why Chuuya shows very little sympathy toward Dazai. He can't let himself properly empathize because he's terrified of thinking like that! He's struggling to not fall into the same pit, he doesn't wanna get near it, there's no way he's gonna try and pull Dazai out.

[allbuthuman]

BSD and loneliness

Loneliness and what it does to a person, as well as how far the attempts to counteract it can go, what they can and can't do, is an overarching theme in Asagiri's writing, and many of the stories portrayed can basically boil down to "this person is suffering because they are really, really lonely", which I love. Here I want to focus more on loneliness of the "existential" type, the one that's almost intrinsic to someone and stems from who they are rather than whom they do or don't have around them, because, in my mind, it makes for great tragic stories.

Dazai

He is the most obvious example, and probably one of the loneliest characters I've ever come across. Able to comprehend everything, yet unable and from a point onward unwilling to be comprehended, no one can understand his mind, and even those "like him" who might, like Fyodor, won't understand his emotions. First of all, of course, he controls them too well. Secondly, although I do think there are moments he shows a need for connection, he does that from the safety of his usual persona (for example, hiding behind his usual teasing), so that, in the mind of others, there is no clear distinction between the two. Thirdly, the awareness he has of his own emotions is probably very low, since he's learned that the only way to survive and make sense of himself and the world is to rationalise. There are meagre chances for Dazai the human being with emotions to be less lonely, until he chooses to let himself be seen and be vulnerable, and, at this point, it would probably be extremely hard for him to actually practice that, even if he did make the decision.

Dazai does understand that it's better for people to be with one another rather than alone. It's clear even in Stormbringer, when his mental health is arguably at its lowest. It's clear in Dark Era, when he says that if everyone around him died, it would be a form of suicide (I'm using these examples even though there are clearer ones because these are probably the times he was doing the worst). But he doesn't believe that he can have true companionship, and is also being taught to believe that attachment is a weakness, that loneliness is where he belongs.

And then there's Oda, who, while admittedly unable to understand his mind, comprehended exactly this loneliness of his. He and Ango both did, and, as per the light novel, they could not manage to interfere, but were by him as he experienced it. And yet he barely knew that was the case, until Oda made it clear, and then the one person who he now knew could see him died.

But what people rarely comment on is how much capacity to care for someone Dazai had. There was one person, the first person who saw beyond the unpredictable Demon Prodigy, the first person who acknowledged his loneliness - didn't even manage to break through it, just acknowledged it and treated him with care, and that was enough for Dazai to care about him as much as he did, and that is heartbreaking in itself.

Lastly, but perhaps the most telling point of all is Asagiri himself admitting that he never knows what Dazai is thinking. I don't want to get too into meta, but being the creation of someone, and still not being understood by your own creator is possibly the loneliest position I can think of.

Verlaine

My second favourite example, because here we have someone who was loved, and he knew that he was loved, but it wasn't enough to change things.

Verlaine's loneliness is objective, in the sense that he really is fundamentally different than those around him, he really is not biologically human. That loneliness of his, combined with the hatred that it fostered, was what led him to seek Chuuya - he thought that the only person who could understand him was one who shared that nature, and incorrectly believed that Chuuya would think so as well. He needed Chuuya, and thought that Chuuya would need him in he same way. He was, however, wrong, because Chuuya, being uncertain of his humanity instead of certain of his inhumanity, put great effort into being among other people instead of discarding them.

Rimbaud knew Verlaine's nature since the beginning. He accepted it, he cared for him and loved him regardless. He knew that it made him suffer and was there for him, and he did try to empathise with him, while knowing that it was impossible, because the gap was not one that could be mended. In Verlaine's case, no love could be enough to change his nature, a nature that made him look at the world with hate, including the person who loved him. To a person who feels like they should never have been born, even the sincerest "I'm glad you were born" would only cause pain, until it was too late.

Of course, that's not to say that he actually hated Rimbaud - it's very apparent from the ending of Stormbringer that he cared about him, and that he did appreciate all the efforts he made for him. I don't know if you want to call it love, but it's the closest thing he had the capacity for. But, at the end of the day, nothing that Rimbaud would do could change the fact that Verlaine perceived the gap between himself and the world as unbridgeable. Yet still, he was affected. Nothing could really change, but Rimbaud reached him somehow, although the ending couldn't have been different.

Shibusawa

Here we have an example of someone who shared a similar kind of loneliness, but never had anything to counteract it. He's portrayed as comparable to Dazai and Fyodor: smarter than everyone around him, detached and bored. But, in contrary to Dazai, he isn't shown having any meaningful relationship that could challenge that. This difference is recognised by Dazai, who tells him to his face that he wouldn't think like that if he had any friends. This is a "playful" way to put it, but in reality Dazai simultaneously empathises with his point of view and discards it, because he now knows better than to view people the way Shibusawa does.

I haven't read the light novel, I'm just basing this on the movie, so I can't say much more, but I think his character works as a good point of contrast between people who still try to find "meaning" and those like him, who have decided it's not worth it.

Curious to see where Fyodor, the other so-called superhuman, will fall in regards to this loneliness, but I think we don't know enough about him and how he actually feels in order not to grasp in the dark.

(part 2 about the less existential type of loneliness if i gather enough coherent thoughts)

[fabricated-misslieness]

pairing: chūya nakahara x lazy male reader

req: yes | wc: 1.87k | cw: nsfw, size difference, praise kink, biting, blood, dirty talk, belly bulging | minors dni

anon: Hi! I was hoping I could get a smut for chuuya if you could make it kinda of a part two from the other chuuya fic u have and if u can could u add a size kink and a praise kink if so thank you so much!

a/n: you thought the demon was a himbo, ha!

"You know these don't tend to last long." You send the man pushing you against the wall a wink, making sure he knows you're still top. Chūya chuckles in response.

"I'm prepared for that." Chūya gives you a smirk. You don't know it, but he doesn't mean it. He hopes it is only your sheer amount of power that attracts him to you, but he knows it's not true. He really isn't that keen on having this be a one time thing. He rather it be a long, loving relationship, keep it lasting for as long as he can; if he has to teach you commitment, he will.

You raise an eyebrow for a minute, judging his composure. "Mkay.. good. You need me to lift you, though? You're quite a way down."

Chūya huffs and rolls his eyes. With you, he's heard something along those lines about a million times. He can't control his height and he certainly can't control yours. Jeez, it's as if you were a giant. If you and him stood next to each other, he'd look like a child, not that he was that much taller than a child anyway.

"Oh shut up with that… but yes." As much as he didn't want to admit it, even though it was very clear, he couldn't kiss you from 'all the way down there'.

"Thought so." It's the shit eating grin on your face that makes him regret this. "Hold on to the horns will ya? You'll need the support."

"Doesn't bother ya?" Chūya asks, doing so anyway. They feel rather tough, like how he imagined crocodile scales to feel. Your wings, on the other hand, weren't as he'd imagined them to be. They felt like leather, despite the fact they looked like rubber. He couldn't fathom how hot they'd be in summer.

You shake your head, in turn moving his arms. "Nah. Anyway, what do you think about the fangs?" You momentarily open your mouth wider to show him. "Would you rather I don't bite you or I do?" They're not as sharp as say, a vampire or a werewolf, but they could definitely puncture.

"Maybe test them first?" You know, what he meant was that you bite his finger, or something, not his neck. It definitely stung, but it hadn't punctured. He was sure if you hadn't controlled your strength, he'd bleed. He hissed at the pain. Though it was nothing he couldn't handle, you'd taken him by surprise.

"My bad, precious." That was a new nickname. "What do you think? Did you like it? No judge if you're into it." The mention of a biting link made him think of some past lover with said kink. It sort of made him jealous.

"What if I find your sweet spot? Would that persuade you?" You bite his neck, finding the spot that made him moan. "Knew it. They're usually there." He hated the way you rubbed your past lovers in his face. In time, he'd make you forget. He was sure of that.

"Well?"

"Okay.."

"Would you look at that?" Chūya couldn't focus on anything right now, the pleasure, and pain, was too much. You would pester him for how long he took to adjust for sure. "I'm balls deep in you and I can actually see it." He hadn't registered that first part until now.

He looked down to see his stomach clearly bulging. He laughed at the sight of it. You were really a giant, in more ways than one. It was kind of.. hot though. The size difference was already turning him on, at this point it was a lot.

"Sexy." You remark, licking your lips. If it weren't for your dick, he would want that tongue in him.. again. "Can you even talk right now?"

Chūya chuckles, fixing you with a playful look before pulling you down by the horns. "Of course I can." He whispers in your ear.

"Good." You move the slightest bit, though to him it felt more than that, which urges a moan from his throat. "Although I'd like to see you try when I fuck you with no mercy."

Chūya is flustered to no end, but as the competitive guy he is, he can't just back down, even with your dick inside of him. "Is that what you say to everybody? 'Fuck you with no mercy'? How about 'fuck you 'till you're begging for hell?'"

You smirk, shaking your head to mess with his arms. His hands were surely indented with the pattern of your horns by now. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Are you ready now?" You were going to nag him about the time, just like he'd predicted. "You've been sitting on it for so long you could call it cockwarming. But maybe you're into that, haven't discussed the deets just yet."

"What can I do?" You laugh. "Your dick is big, you said so yourself."

"Then the details. What do you like?"

"P-Praise." He's a little nervous to admit it, what with the fact he acts like a tough cookie. He had to build up some courage for this moment.

You shift a bit as you think about it. All of a sudden, you start moving slowly. It's still quite a bit painful for Chūya, but your praise makes up for it. "You're doing good, baby." Your rough voice along with the way you grip his hips with your claws sends chills down his spine. "Just a bit more."

You chuckle, toying with the idea in your mind. You thrust a bit more, barely even containing yourself with how horny you are, before stopping to ask. "Like that?"

He had bitten his lips to keep his moans from coming out; he'd nearly drawn blood "Yeah, yeah, just like that." If his eyes weren't shut so tightly he'd be so much more flustered by the look you're giving him.

"Think you're ready yet?" The impatience was clear in your voice.

"Mm, yeah."

Your thrusts are slow at first, as a precaution. It was a wonder how you hadn't started going fast, though. You'd been in him for so long without moving that the impatience and anticipation were building up.

"You can go faster now." You smile, but you don't speed up, which confuses him. He was sure you wanted more, so why didn't you give him more?

"How much faster?" It's only now that he realizes it's a cheeky grin. 

Your sultry eyes seem to enchant him, making him unable to think properly; well, that and the thrusting. "I don't know."

"My terms, then." He doesn't like the sound of that. Luckily, you catch onto his uneasy look in time to reassure him, but your words don't do much. "Don't worry, you'll be just fine."

There's no warning after that. Your thrusts are quick and hard, just how you like them though only a little less than normal. After all, you'd gotten from, say, a 1 to a 7. Since when did you start calling your thrusts like a vibrator?

"You're doing good, baby!" He didn't know why, he did but he didn't know now, but he thought you'd sound more sarcastic.

His grip on your horns loosen and his arms feel weak. Just how vulnerable did you make him feel? He couldn't hold back from letting out a loud, high-pitched moan. It caused you to laugh, which he hated since he knew you were about to tease him. "High-pitched, just for me?"

He rolled his eyes at you, maybe a little bit because of pleasure, responding just as quick. "I mean you– oh! Holy shit!" He was interrupted by his own moans.

"What was that you were going to say?"

"Straying from– ah shit! Shit shit shit!" He repeated. That chuckle of yours made him realize you'd been hitting him hard on purpose to tease him. "Straying far from," He stops himself from moaning by biting his lips momentarily. "p-praise here."

You almost pout when he finishes his sentence, but you nod. "Right, sorry, precious~" You basically purr. “You’re taking my cock so well. Are you ready for more?”

“What?” You’d only just changed pace, so why would you- “Ah! Fuck me..” You hadn’t even given him time to answer, and you didn’t mean to either. This pace was the fastest, and roughest, Chūya had ever felt before, and god, did he love it. He could barely even form words, apart from curse words that were oh so familiar. The only thing that left his mouth were moans and he couldn’t even bite his lips.

“Mm, can’t talk anymore?” You weren’t really good at praise, were you? Well, it was new to you, since most of your lovers turned masochists at the sight of you. You didn’t make them, they just did. smug hoe

His arms, tired and a little sore, fall from your horns and grip your wings, which are wrapped around him. It causes you to hiss, but it’s a mere feeling in the back of your head from all the pleasure you’re getting. “Careful with those, darl.” You say with a chuckle. “You can’t break them in your state right now, but they still hurt.”

“S-Sorry.” He manages to say, continuing with moans afterward. They’re high pitched, most of them, as much as he tries to at least make them a little lower. 

“Oh? A word?” Your smirk is as much a nightmare as it is a dream. He wants to punch it off your face but also kiss it off your lips. “Right, right, praise. You take me in so well~” Chūya just barely manages a laugh.

“Ah, fuck!” Chūya shouts. He can feel himself getting closer and closer.

You smirk, moving to his neck, kissing and nipping. Your fangs sting his neck everytime you bite down, but you make sure to control yourself. Though sooner or later you’ll bite him and draw blood, it’s only inevitable.

“Go on, baby. Come loose for me, let me feel your seed on my abs.” You move to his ear, whispering and licking the lobe. 

Your words are what sends him over the edge of bliss. His seed spills all over the both of you, which is a turn on for sure; it moves with his constantly bulging belly. 

You close your eyes when you feel yourself coming closer. Instinctively, you move to his neck, giving him a harsh bite, which makes Chūya groan. You couldn’t control yourself from not biting him, even when his neck is already littered with other marks. Blood drips from the wound, two small holes.

It’s only when you go over the edge that you apologize. You move off of him, pulling him on top of you instead. He snuggles into your body, hissing in pain. “Sorry.” You move your wings to wipe the blood away.

“It’s fine… well, not really, but eh.”

You chuckle, keeping one wing on the wound and the other over the top of you. “I’ll make it up to you later.”

The promise of another time is reassuring, whether it be sexual or not, though he rather it be a date. He likes to know he has a little bit of a chance.

[spacegirlapollo]

Can’t Be Friends [Dazai x Reader Smut]

Dazai x Reader Smutty One shot 

4,000+ words

Summary: After the death of his beloved friend, Dazai can’t trust love. But then you come bumbling into the picture and he can’t resist falling for you. 

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dazai had always been fascinated by magnets, that somewhere written deep in the earth's rules, it had been decided that two objects would eternally be bound together if fate allows them to. On the other hand they could push the other away, with the same ease. 

He’s lived his life like a magnet, especially after Oda’s death. He couldn’t help it, although he desperately tried to not care about others it was simply impossible. To fulfill Oda’s dying wishes , he had to care about the people around him. He dared not admit it but he cared. He cared about Kunikida and the others at the agency. He especially cared about Atsushi and thought quite often of Chuuya and Akutagawa and how they were faring. To many souls to think about. So he cared, drawing them all in like magnets, connecting and then turning away pushing back against them when they got to close. 

And at the center of it all was you. You were the crowning jewel in his grand hall of people he cared about, thought and worried and languished about. You reminded him of Oda sometimes. And if he squinted at you maybe he could see Oda’s piercing eyes and not so easy smile.

He was in love with you, that much was sure, and it was a secret, to everyone but him. He was much too smart to not understand his longing for you, the way his heart rate picked up at your closeness and he often found himself longing to hear your voice. 

He didn’t think it would happen to him of all people. Sure he loved Oda, and he wasn’t sure if it was just as friends either, but this was different. 

He’d met you almost immediately after his return to society, now on the side of the “good guys”. You were Fukizawa’s niece and a fixture at the agency. He wondered often how long his stay at the agency would have been had it not been for you. 

In the beginning, Dazai couldn’t help himself, he had absolutely no self control over his magnets and the two of you connected, making quick friends. Wherever you went he would gladly follow. 

Then you’d been attacked, remnants of Dazai’s past life finally rearing consequences upon you. You’d nearly died, even though you were a force to recon with in battle. Fukizawa had been the one to save you in the end. It was salt over Dazai’s wound that you were hurt because of him, and he hadn’t been there to save you. 

It was a hard way to learn a lesson. To be smacked in the face with his universal truth. Everyone he gets close to will die, and it’ll be his fault. 

You weren’t so easy to push away though, ripping you from his life was taking a piece of his soul slowly, and besides he’d promised to be good and the Agency was the best place for that. So he stayed, but your friendship suffered in its wake. You got the message eventually, not bothering to call upon him at midnight anymore and late night trips for food had stopped. 

You’d never let on how it made you feel, and that somehow was worse for Dazai. 

He’d thought you’d replace him, he was mentally prepared to see you and Kunikida laughing At the lunch table. But it was more often that you’d head to lunch alone, or leave work alone. 

With newcomer Atsushi, things changed a little. You’d taken a strong liking to the boy, and he could tell you’d adopted Atsushi, as If you were his mother or aunt or something. Fretting and worrying. Dazai could see that the two of you were co-parenting in a way. 

Then Kyouka came and you and Atsushi’s time spent together became less, and you ate alone once again. 

Dazai observed this all as if he was peering into a fish bowl. Observing the lives of others and indirectly interacting with them but never jumping into the water. He thought himself clever. No one would know how much he loved you. That was until simple, observant Atsushi said something. 

“Dazai-San?” 

“Yeah?” 

They were both sitting in the open floor plan area of the agency, paperwork stacking high between the two of them. On his part Atsushi was trying to conquer the work while Dazai was listening in to your conversation with Kunikida from across the room. You were laughing, and Dazai thought maybe this was it, you were finally replacing him. Good. 

“Uh…” 

Dazai lifted his eyes from you and his partner to rest upon Atsushi, whose voice was uncertain. Dazai had learned from day two, that he should listen to Atsushi, who occasionally sculpted diamonds from words. 

Atsushi tensed with Dazai’s eyes upon him. 

“I was just .... “ he sighed and swallowed his voice coming out low and a whisper. 

“Are you and Y/N dating?” 

Dazai blinked. Not responding, although that might give away more than he would have liked. 

“It’s just that.” Atsushi seemed even more unnerved by Dazai’s non answer, seeing as the brown hair boy loved to talk. 

“You always look up when she enters a room, like you know she’s there. You always stare at each other when you think the other isn’t looking.” Atsushi’s voice faded off. “Stuff- stuff like that.” 

Dazai was half stuck thinking that he’d made a good choice of Atsushi for the Agency, and the other half was thinking about what he’d said. - staring at each other.- 

You looked at him too? 

“S-sorry.” Atsushi said, fearing he’d said too much. He had but that was fine. 

“Am I really that easy to read?” Dazai asked his eyes back on you and Kunikida. Kunikida was blushing as you walked away, his eyes firmly on your lower back side. Dazai felt a feeling stirring in him. But he shoved it down harsly. There was no place for those feelings to show. 

Atsushi shook his head. “No, you're quite hard to read. Dazai-San. Y/N is much easier to read, once I understood why she looks at you like that I realized you were looking at her the same way.”

Diamonds. Dazai thought , Atsushi was capable of making diamonds. 

————-

It was the fall time, the leaves had departed from their family tree or changed colors and the roads of Yokahama were cold and filled with that feeling you only got during the coming of winter. 

Dazai had to work late, once Kunikida found out just how behind he was on his work, Dazai had been essentially chained to his desk. He could tell there were a few people left in the office as some lights were still on. Signing the last page he sighed standing up immediately, Kunikida would be satisfied with his progress and he could pick it up again on Monday, although he was secretary hoping for a case to come and push the paperwork to the side. 

He tucked his hands in his pocket and made his way outside. It was a moment later that he realized that it was raining. The door to the cafe closed behind him and he stood under the awning, thinking with dread about walking through the rain to the subway station.

“No umbrella ?” You asked, and Dazai wasn’t sure how you’d been standing there that whole time and he did not notice. He turned to you his heart thudding rhythmically in his chest. You were as beautiful as ever, and you looked warm, swathed in faux fur jackets. He thought about how wonderful it would feel to lay in your lap and feel your fingers through his hair. 

You turned away from him breaking his guilty illusion and rummaged around in your bag. You pulled out an umbrella, identical to the one you were already holding. You extended it out to him with a smile playing on your lips. 

“You never carry an umbrella, Dazai.” 

His name on your lips was joy, he realized as his lips parted in surprise. You knew him entirely too well and Atsushi was starting to as well. How had he failed so spectacularly in pushing people away. 

He took the umbrella, unable to stop the smile on his face. 

“Why would I ,Y/N when I always have you to have an extra for me?” He teased. He couldn’t help it, months of pushing you away and he was cracking like an egg from a simple gesture. 

Your eyes met and he saw the faintest blush upon your cheeks. He wanted to kiss you. Badly. He blinked and looked away. This wouldn’t do, he needed to get home and fast. 

He would let his mind slip for one night, maybe have a drink or two and stroke himself, your name hanging off his lips like smoke to a cigarette. That’s what he would do. He just needed to get to the station now. 

“Dazai?” 

Your words were soft but firm. The way you sounded when you’d gathered up all tour couraged and readied yourself for a fight. 

He turned back to you, and your eyes shone with determination. 

“Let’s go get dinner together.” 

————-

Dinner, was located in a small corner of Yokohama, that only the locals seemed to know about. You either lived there or crashed there by accident. The restaurant was a hole in the wall, quite literally. It was an interesting place, made of stone and brick, with no real windows or doors, just, holes in the stone. It reminded Dazai of an old century oven, it had a large awning covering to keep the rain from the tables out front. Strings of light were laced around the stone building illuminating it in the darkness of the Yokahama streets. 

It was a place that the both of you were familiar with, having spent many nights here, sipping hot tea and talking. Upon seeing it for the first time in months, Dazai saw just how romantic the place really was and was regretting his decision to follow you here. 

Now seated you picked up the menu and started to scan it. 

“You already know what you want. Y/N” Dazai said amused. “You always order the same thing.” 

His smile grew as you put down the menu and glared at his teasing. “What if I wanted something different this time.” 

“Hell would freeze over Y/N. And the flying pigs would be out as soon as the rain stopped.” 

You scoffed cutely. “just for that I’m ordering something different.” 

“I wouldn’t.” Dazai said, “ you remember the last time you were adventurous.” 

Your eyes were wide with embarrassment. 

“You swore you would never bring it up!” 

“To anyone else.” Dazai corrected. He thought back on the time you’d ordered something new, and were so sick he’d brought you home, and had to hold your hair as you puked over the toilet. Obviously embarrassing for you but a fondly domestic memory for Dazai. 

The waitress interrupted whatever you were going to say next and further Dazai’s amusement you ordered your regular. 

“Dazai” you said after the waitress had collected your orders and it had been quiet for a while. Dazai’s heart started to thump again, the real reason you’d asked him to come to dinner was coming. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. 

You had that look again, that stored up courage look. “ Let’s be friends again.”

He wasn’t sure if this was on his list of things he expected you to say. Some irrational part of his thought this would be your announcement of your engagement to Kunikida which he would have congratulated you on and then left to get very very drunk. 

Your fists were clenched in your lap as you forced yourself to look at him.

“I’m sorry… if I did something wrong, and that’s why you stopped wanting to be around me. If I was - annoying or something I can-“

“Y/N” you blinked almost jerking at Dazai’s sudden harsh tone. He was angry, suddenly, 

“You could never annoy me.” 

The statement hung heavy in the air like cement. 

“And you don’t have anything to apologize for.” He tried to soften his voice as he wasn’t angry at you. He was more angry at himself. That’s why you thought he’d pushed you away? 

“Then why-“

“We can’t be friends.. Y/N” better to cut this off now. A few drinks was sounding better by the second. He dared a glance at your face and regretted it. You looked shattered, then confused, then angry. He hadn’t really seen you angry. It was beautiful in a way. 

A hot tear pressed down your cheek and you angrily wiped it away. 

“Why.” You asked now a wobble in your otherwise hard tone. 

“It’s better to remain professional in the workplace.” Dazai offered up, it was weak but his mind was spinning so his normal snake charming words were not coming to him. 

“Bullshit.” You said leaning forward. “You're not that way with anyone else in the agency. Hell you're not professional at all.” 

Dazai smiled at this, despite how heavy he was feeling.

“That’s fair.” He said softly. 

“Stop fucking with me Dazai.” You said anger still dripping over your tone although you were trying to keep it down since others were around. 

“One night were drunk together and up till 4am telling each other everything and the next week you stopped talking to me.” 

Your voice broke at the end of that. Another angry tear wipe. You pointed at him now.

“You let me in, you let me see you, and now you're going to pretend like we weren’t something?”

“Yes.” Dazai said with an edge . “ yes I am going to pretend.” 

“Why!” Your voice went a little higher than a regular speaking voice drawing a few more eyes but neither of you cared. There was only the person sitting in front of the other. 

“Because Y/N. I don’t want to be just friends.” Dazai felt like a popped balloon, that air just coming out of him rapidly. Years of holding that very phrase in and here he was whisper- shouting it at you in his favorite hole in the wall. That was only his favorite because of his memories with you. 

He kept going now, no sense in stopping now. “ I want to hold your hand, to kiss you, to be the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning. I want to hold you when you're sad, and tease you when you do something embarrassing. I want you to fill up my life with your light” it was a mouthful, and Dazai sighed, looking up at you now, your face in shock. 

You smiled suddenly, another tear falling but you didn’t make a move to wipe it away.

“I don’t want to be just friends either Dazai.” You said and he felt his heart starting its kathunk kathunk in his chest again. 

“I thought maybe you didn’t feel the same way as I did. But I wanted to be near you. And things were so great when we were friends. And then we stopped and I thought at least I could still be around you. But I don’t want that it’s not enough. Just being around you, just being your friend isn’t enough. I want to be with you. Dazai.”

Dazai swallowed hard, if Atsushi’s words were diamonds you were like the rain. Cleansing away the unsightly parts of himself that he hated, he picked at. Soothing the old wounds that he’d left open as punishment to himself. 

“We can’t… I can’t….” Dazai couldn’t finish. He looked up to you. “Every Time I love someone they die.” He shook his head slightly. “and I won’t lose you too.” 

He thought then of Oda. He still couldn’t decide how he’d loved the man, there was a seed there, growing, and if he’d had more time, Dazai thinks he could have figured it out. Did he love Oda the way he loved Atshushi or Kunikida or did he love Oda the way he’d loved you?

But for Oda to be alive, and Dazai to have an answer to that question, Dazai needed to have removed himself from Oda’s life.

 Dazai’s thoughts of Oda evaporated as he felt the warm touch of your hand to his. He looked up at you then, your eyes a calm steady sea to his stormy brooding ones.

He wanted to steal you away from the others eyes, take you somewhere safe where only he could gaze upon you. Strange feelings from someone who spent so much effort in not caring. 

“You're a good person, Dazai.” You said. “I’ve seen it, I’ve seen your soul. Death is not the punishment for love. Life takes who she wants when she wants regardless of who we love and what we want. I’d rather die, having known your love than live forever without it.” 

He kissed you then, over the tea that had gone cold, besides the people who were pretending not to listen to your conversation. The only thing he could hear was the sounds of rain dancing on the canopy above your heads. 

———

Somehow the both of you knew that going home alone wasn’t an option. As the hole in the wall was closest to your place, it was decided without speaking that that is where you would go. You walked there holding hands. 

Dazai’s mind was spinning with thoughts of your kiss, thoughts of you he’d tried to keep down but it wasn’t working and his pants were stiffening. 

You’d looked at him, one look, that set him on fire. And as you crossed into your apartment threshold, he couldn’t seem to grab enough of you. The umbrella he’d borrowed from you was on the floor, along with your  pretty coat, leaving wet stains on the floor. You were pressed between him in the wall, your hands deep into his tresses as he kissed you, his hands gripping almost painfully at your sides. 

He pressed his lower body up against you unable to control the moan that came from his mouth at the contact of his hardened self against you.

“I need you.” He breathed out sounding so impossibly vulnerable.

“You have me.” You said between kisses, and so he did, his wide palms sliding below your waist end scooping you into the air, your legs wrapped around his lanky figure. 

He carried you to your room, my memory as you had yet to stop kissing him, and he couldn’t see. 

When he was there you fell into the bed, soft covers swallowing you up. He had thoughts to tease you, to take things slow, and feel every single moment of this. But as his fingers seperated your pants buttons and found their way to your core he couldn’t stop himself from pleasuring you. 

Your moans were honey, as he slid down your clothing and his mouth latched to your clit. One of your hands had traveled to his hair and the other was gripping his arm which was around your waist keeping your hips down to the bed. 

He wanted more from you working his tongue and fingers at a devastating pace. His cock painful in his pants at your honey dripped moans. His hand pressed down hard against your waist as you bucked against his face, sweat beading on your chest, it felt terribly good. 

“Daz-“ you choked out as you reached your end, your hand pulling at the base of his roots causing him to moan into your pussy. 

You couldn’t hold back your moan as you came, hard and fast, cheeks hot as he kept going riding you through your orgasm. 

Dazai felt your body go limp after you came, and he stood up reaching to unbutton his shirt but then your hands over lapped his and you began to remove his shirt. His lips were on your again as your removed his clothes. 

Dazai let out a small noise of surprise when you turned and pushed him towards the bed. He went willingly though his eyes half lidded in lust as you crawled over to him straddling his waist. He was taking you in, and fuck if he couldn’t come now just looking at you. 

You leaned forward ticking a finger under his chin and guiding his lips back to yours. Dazai felt his control slipping but he didn’t mind. He wanted to be yours, all yours. You could do whatever you wanted to him.

“Let me make you feel good.”’you whispered 

He hissed as you sank slowly down onto him your warmth wrapping around him like a vice. Damnit.

You moved again rising up your hips and bringing them back down at an agonizingly slow pace. This whole time he’d thought to tease you and it was you teasing him. 

Almost as if you were reading his mind you smirked dipping slower to kiss his neck. Dazai jerked, another moan on his lips as you kissed at his newly discovered sensitive spot. 

You’d hip were starting to pick up the pace a bit, sucking hard against his neck. Your pace and attack on his neck was torture, the best kind. 

His hands gripped your ass tightly now as you rode him, biting deeply against his neck. With each slap of skin you moved faster, Dazai felt like he could explode, and maybe he would. 

He couldn’t help himself, his hips snapping up into you suddenly causing you to throw your head back and moan. Oh yes he wanted more of that. 

Your hands fell to his chest as he fucked you, his dick pressing up against that spot that was making you unravel. 

In one swift motion he’d switched the flow and you were on your back again, and he was in between you. Your hands flew around his neck as he re-entered you. 

“Mhfph” you choked out as he pressed deep into you, moaning your name sweetly into your ear. 

He was one with you, as close as his magnet could reach, and though the fear of losing you still loomed in his mind, Dazai was in true bliss. 

You were close, that feeling of knitting in your stomach, his strong deep strokes had left you gasping. 

“Osamu” you crooned, and he looked down at you now. 

“Say that again.” He breathed out. 

Dazai felt like he was going to unravel, right as you’d said his name, the way it slipped from your mouth had his heart racing. 

He thrusted faster , kissing along your neck now. 

“Say it, say it again.” He moaned out.

“Mmm Osamu, “ you repeated his name over and over again like a holy chant. “Please.” 

His strokes were coming uneven, as he leaned down to take your sweet lips with his again, fucking hell he was going to come now, in the woman he’d loved for years. 

“Come with me.” He breathed out and you nodded rapidly, he pressed his forehead to yours as you felt yourself come apart at the edges. Sweeping in nothing but pleasure you both came.

“Osamu!” You cried out eyes shut in ecstasy. 

———-

Neither of you could be bothered to leave the bed. Dazai was holding you to his chest, your face in the crook of his neck, your heartbeats matching each other’s. 

“You know it’s too late for you now right?” You whispered, his fingers playing with your hair. 

Dazai smiled. “It was too late for me since the moment we met.” 

You chuckled softly, “that’s so cheesy.” 

Dazai chuckled back, placing a kiss on your forehead. 

“Yeah to bad you’ve got to deal with it from now on.”

“I love you, Osamu” Dazai heard you say, and even if he maybe thought he knew you did, it was different to hear you say it. He felt like he could break into a million pieces. Some stone cold bastard he was, he was absolute putty in your hands. 

“I love you to, Y/N” 

[nameless-shrimp]

"Happy birthday Shrimp. Make sure to have a nice glass of wine and relax." - Chuuya HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHRIMP!! Wishing you the bestest day!

Dazai woke up in one of his many safe houses alone. (This one is an actual house, unlike some of his others.) The detective doesn't know when, but at some point within the last two years, he started to hate waking up alone. However, he didn't completely hate it today. Today is his girlfriend's birthday. Had he woken up with Shrimp, he wouldn't be able to set up a surprise for her. So, instead of laying in bed for a while, Dazai got up right away and started to get ready for the days events.

First, Dazai set up the living room with extra blankets and pillows. Then he made sure the gaming consoles were ready and controllers charged. Next, he made sure he had all of their favorite games. Finally, Dazai took a shower. Once he was dried off, dressed in clean bandages and clothes, Dazai set off for his girlfriend's home. Although, he made a stop to make and get her favorite flowers first.

Arriving at Shrimp's apartment, he found his lover had already opened the door for him. She must have been waiting for him. The brunette couldn't help but smile; his heart full of love. He never thought he would meet someone like Shrimp, yet here he is. Celebrating her 23rd birthday with her. Dazai was certain, this is the best day in the entire year. The day his true love was born.

"Good morning, Belladonna." Dazai said as he give his love her flowers. "Happy birthday my love."

"Thank you Dazai." Shrimp smiled up at him taking the flowers. She couldn't help but smile seeing her favorites. Her cheeks dusted pink.

"Why don't you put those in a vase, and then we will be on our way?"

Shrimp agreed, doing as her lover said. Making sure the flowers were also in sunlight before leaving.

The couple set off for the beginning of their day. Dazai had everything planned out. Going to the amusement park to start the day off. Going on the bigger rides before lunch so that neither them (more specifically himself) doesn't lose it. The smaller rides after. And lastly, the Ferris wheel. Dazai, being the romantic that he is, made sure to wish Shrimp a happy birthday again before kissing his love at the very top. Her sweet soft lips against his always felt right. It was an addicting feeling. And he found himself unable to stop kissing Shrimp until the ride started to move again. He felt happy that his love didn't seem to mind as she just kissed him back. Though her cheeks now dusted red. Dazai would never admit it, but the flustered look was adorable on his Shrimp.

Finally, the end of the day comes. Dazai had treated Shrimp too well, a shrimp dinner. He knows how much she loves the food. They didn't have dessert at the restaurant though. instead, they picked up a cake, donuts, and any other sweets Shrimp wanted. And so they ended the day off with the preparations Dazai started his day with. Video games and sweets in the comfort of Dazai's safe house. With a pillow fort built into the couch and blankets encasing the two.

Dazai only hoped that Shrimp had as good of a day as he did.

SKY, THE THINGS YOU DO TO MY HEART 💖

this is so wonderful. it made me smile so wide on my birthday, i just couldn't respond due to me being busy, but now here i am, rereading it over and over. first off, the flowers? already striking my heart on that one 🥰 and the amusement park as well? OH MY GOSH, and the ferris wheel kiss, omg 🤧😊 my heart is just melting.

A SHRIMP DINNER, HAHAHA, i just wanna eat all of the seafood with him because it sounds so nice, along with the sweets and the video games. of course i had a wonderful day with dazai, i always will - usually, hehe. this made me so happy, what a beautiful gift from you 😭💘 you always know how to make me smile.

and tell chuuya that i drank sake instead of wine for him, but it was very delicious, and i did get drunk. many thank yous to chuuya for the birthday wishes as well, i hope he wasn't too drunk himself. 🤭

thank you my dear sky, this warmed up my heart so much. i absolutely love this with all of my heart. you're so wonderful and it was amazing, i love you!!!

[smoochi-dazai]

Hello there, can you do headcanons on how Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida and Chuuya would react if they found out their fem s/o could sing opera? Like she’s not a professional, but she is self taught and has a powerful soprano voice and she sings Carmen’s Habanera like an angel basically? And they find out through her singing in the shower, through karaoke, etc. If you want to do this imagine thank you! 🙏💕🌹🍷✨

✿ “  Love is a rebellious bird ” ✿

—> Bungo Stray Dogs, Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida, Chūya + PM Dazai | Reader

—> Sweet | hcs

—> Description | Atsushi, Dazai, Kunikida and Chūya react to a s/o who’s a talented, self taught opera singer. 

+ I’m not sure how this turned out, sorry for taking so long <3 This is my first time writing for Atsushi, Kunikida and Chuya so i was super worried. TwT

Nakajima Atsushi 

✿ Atsushi along with his s/o lived together, similar to Kyōka - Dazai suddenly roomed these two together with some kind of scheme. Using a cover up of keeping her safe, even though the s/o was plenty able to protect herself.

✿ The least Dazai expected was for these two not to start dating. It had been a couple months time before they even developed some feelings, but the love was intoxicating the air. 

✿ Eventually becoming more affectionate publicly, small kisses on the cheek, hand holding- it was all some cute puppy love. Forming into something more genuine.

✿ While his s/o were roomed together with him, it wasn't uncommon for Atsushi to be out of the house at work. Or the other way around while his s/o still searched for a job.

✿  Thankfully Atsushi recommended to be an assistant at the ADA, if his s/o had no interest in all the violence and fighting as a proper member. 

✿ The day Atsushi was first introduced to his s/o’s powerful voice for singing was while she was in the shower.

✿ He had towels for s/o and a spare change of fresh new clothes, but the poor boy didn’t want to interrupt their singing. opening the door ever so slightly, he put the clothes inside then shut the door again. No intension on invading his s/o’s privacy.

✿ Atsushi would mostly likely sit outside the door to listen to his s/o’s singing. It captured his heart honestly, poor boy was speechless. 

✿ Never had he heard such a strong voice, he saw you as such a beautiful singer, let alone someone who slept right next to him ?! he couldn’t believe his ears.

✿ Poor boy ends up being hit by the door when his s/o came out of the bathroom, now changed in light clothes and a towel over their shoulders that had been partially dampened..

✿ Atsushi stared at his s/o in awe. Unable to say a word he just stares at s/o for an uncomfortable amount of time. 

✿ Once Atsushi snaps out of it, he’s complimenting his s/o all day. 

✿ When I say all day, I mean all day.

✿ Atsushi had no idea you were capable of something so, amazing. He knew you were talented, but never grasped the fact you could control your voice for opera?!

✿ He wont force you to sing for him or anything, but every once in a while he may ask. 

✿ Overall, Atsushi was in love with the singing. He wouldn't question much, he’d be too busy complimenting it all. 

Dazai Osamu

✿ These two first met at the cafe beneath the ADA’s head office. 

✿ While the others were screaming at each other over work, Dazai left for some peace and quiet. The least he was expecting was a new waitress coming to his table with the cutest little smile.

✿ Dazai would do his typical flirts, asking to commit a lovers suicide.

✿ Each time he was declined, for obvious reasons haha.

✿ Visit upon visit, Dazai would show up much more frequently then the rest of his friends in the ada.

✿ They started to be on a first name basis which was a surprise, because even the ADA members call him by his surname.

✿ The day Dazai visited and found the cafe trashed up because of a group of thugs? he was beyond upset. s/o was knocked out cold on the ground, while the head of the cafe was clenching onto his hand that bled. 

✿ After the ada caught the ones behind the attack and taught them a lesson, Dazai offered to take care of s/o at his place. She meekly accepted his offer.

✿ Being around someone more casual was refreshing and new, the rest of the people he knew were always work busy and overall just rude to him. Stick in the muds as he’d put it. 

✿ S/o was gentle with him, always worried if he got injured- it was odd. 

✿ At first he began rejecting her, but she’d still come to his place with groceries and cook for him.

✿ Falling her her more and more, Dazai joked less about his suicidal tendencies. Becoming more serious with his issues, he’d vent to s/o for relief. Even when she didn’t say anything in return, it was still comforting. 

✿ Eventually these two started dating, Dazais flirtatious habits died off and he was always focused on his s/o. Some may say he was a bit obsessive, but Dazai was just afraid he’d lose what made him want to live.

✿ Their first date was simple, going out to town and just walking together hand in hand. They ate together, shopped a little- that was until he felt his s/o insist on pulling his arm, pointing at a building across the street. 

✿ Dazai thought his s/o was pointing in the direction of a pathway leading to a river.

✿ “ You want to commit a lovers suicide in the river? “ I never said he completely got rid of the jokes- even if they hold a little truth. 

✿ “ No moron! Karaoke is tonight !! “

✿  “ oh. “

✿    Pouting, his s/o dragged him to the building. Not minding that they were alone, she just wanted an excuse to sing for her lover. 

✿ Thats the night she first sung for Dazai- he wasn’t aware of her talent in singing before-hand so this man was in pure awe.

✿ Dazai leaned back in his chair, eyes never once leaving his s/o’s form when she sung to him. A smile formed on his features uncontrollably, the singing wasn’t any singing of a casual for fun. It was Opera- 

✿ He constantly wanted to speak up and say how amazing his s/o was, but stayed respectful. keeping his mouth quiet.

✿  Afterwards, Dazai showers his s/o in love. Kisses, words- you name it. 

✿ “ Your voice was so powerful, ah~ I could die! “

✿ Dazai claims that if it were to continue he may faint from the beauty, saying his s/o was an angel sent from above to take care of him.

✿ His s/o better be prepared- because the next day she goes to work. all the ada detectives were sitting down like usual, but that's when Dazai takes it upon himself to drag s/o onto his lap and start bragging about her. 

✿ Dazai tries to make her sing again, but the poor girl is embarrassed looking down at her lap.

✿ Overall this boy is all over his s/o, bragging to the world that she is talented as hell. Will often tease her for blushing when he asks her to sing for him. 

Kunikida Doppo

✿ This man didn’t plan on meeting the woman of his dreams for another 3-5 years as he stated many times, which would then lead to marriage. 

✿ But when you became an assistant at the ADA he couldn't keep his eyes off you, always coming with excuses as to why he’d stare.

✿ Dazai constantly teased him over this-

✿ “ Is it true? Kunikida has the hots for our new assistant?~ “ Dazai teases, only to be tossed away. 

✿ “ I am only keeping an eye for her for the safety of our office, plus she may need guidance around the office. “

✿ “ Sureee.. “

✿ He never planned on becoming super close to the new assistant, but the way she smiled at him always kept his heart fluttering. The determination held in her eyes whenever he gave advise, it was something he appreciated. 

✿ Unlike Dazai, she wasn't always on her ass. The potential love of his life was always on her feet, keeping her work a priority. 

✿ It got to the point, she was kunikidas go-to person for assistance. Need coffee? she’d get it for him, need to shut up Dazai? he is already out the window. She’d never failed to meet his expectations, a true blessing. Even helping his with paperwork became a regular whenever he was fatigued. 

✿ He never involved himself with romance, especially around work. But he couldn’t help but fall for you as time went by, dazai pointing it out made it more obvious to himself. he was changing because of his s/o.

✿ It takes a couple years to actually get together, this man is always busy with his work and ideals. So even though it takes so long, id say its worth it. He deeply cares for his s/o even if he isnt always fun and romantic- 

✿ The first time he hears his s/o sing was when they were off work for once, just resting at home on the couch. However, kunikida still insisted on working from home. 

✿ His s/o had to convince him to leave.

✿ “ Can you at least listen to me sing? I’ve been practicing... i thought you’d want to listen. “ 

✿ Sing? this was the first time he heard of his s/o singing. He never wrote that down, time to add it to the list of talents he figures out his s/o has.

✿ He was convinced to listen to one song, thankfully. So his s/o dragged him to the living room, siting him down as she sat in front of him. 

✿ At the start, he never once put his notebook down. Writing random jots in there about she could only assume- it was about her. 

✿ So while singing, she carefully takes the book from his hand, catching Kunikidas attention. 

✿ After the singing, Kunikida was almost in tears- nowhere in his notebook did it say his girlfriend would be this talented. 

✿ He’d grab her shoulders, staring eye to eye with her. It was an intense stare only to be glossy, tearing up. Explaining how that was so beautiful. 

✿ Overall, Kunikida is gushing over the beauty. There will be a lot of explaining as to how his s/o is perfect in his eyes. 

Chūya Nakahara 

✿ Chuya first met his s/o through the Mafia, s/o weren’t all that special. Just another person beneath him in terms of rank, he didn’t know much about them honestly.

✿ It wasn’t til he ran into his future s/o during a meeting with fellow executives and their leader, Mori. 

✿ S/O was playing with Elise on the opposite side of the room, Chuya was much more focused on Mori for obvious reasons at first. But then his ears pick up on s/o braiding Elise hair and humming for her. 

✿ Honestly it was pretty sweet, s/o was a beauty he’d admit. 

✿ Suddenly, Mori called s/o over. Advising her to follow Chuya on a mission to retrieve information from a colleague in question. 

✿ At first Chuya would question why she of all people would be sent with him, but that look in her eyes gave it away. S/O wasn’t any normal mafia member, her dull eyes still held a sparkle. Serious about their mission.

✿ Something about it was intimidating? 

✿ Its never right to judge a book by its cover, Chuya knew that. But he still couldnt grasp that someone as motherly as the s/o was capable of hurting even a fly.

✿ S/o was there to keep him under control, Mori was all too aware of Chuyas hot-headed approach to issues. But Chuya still was trustworthy enough.

✿ It became a regular for s/o to join Chuya on jobs.

✿ Turns out she was born without any kind of agility. She was the most human you could get, but that didn’t stop him from admiring her. She seemed like a mystery at first.

✿ S/O was capable of high levels of martial arts, even rivalling him. Though Chuya still would have the upper hand, just from having a little more experience in the mafia. 

✿ s/o would lure people in with her singing, then he’d deal with them.

✿ S/O gained the nickname ‘ Siren ‘ for her beautiful vocals, while deadly even without Chuya at her side.

✿ After almost a year working together, Chuya gained feelings for the women at his side. the feelings were mutual, s/o and Chuya were just too caught up in work to confess. 

✿ He would compliment s/o for a job well done, her singing was truthfully very alluring. 

✿ It was only recently where he found her on an empty bridge in Yokohama. 

✿ She seemed to be preparing to sing on her own, maybe practicing for future missions. If she sung on the streets she’d probably make more money then the mafia gave her. 

✿ Chuya kept himself hidden away in the shadows of night, watching his s/o who was doing small exercises for her vocals.

✿ S/O began to sing opera, which was new to him. Shutting his eyes, Chuya couldnt help but smile. He never saw himself dating such a talented young women. Someone to call his own. 

✿ Even when he’d murder someone before her eyes, she never once seemed disgusted. Never found herself question his motives, not even tease him for his outbursts. 

✿ He adored his s/o through in through. 

✿ When his s/o finishes singing, he’d finally reveal himself. out of the blue, his s/o would be pulled into a hug.

✿ “ That was beautiful, who knew i’d date someone so damn talented. Holy shit. “

✿ Chuya wouldn't bombard his s/o in compliments like others, it would be more shown through actions. A kiss on the head with his arms wrapped around her waist. 

✿ Chuya would be happy, alone on the bridge with s/o.

✿ Overall this man would get a little distracted on missions because of that beautiful voice, may have to snap him out of it during serious times. Be prepared for hugs, and many pecks on the lips. 

Bonus !! Port Mafia Dazai 

✿ Dazai first met his S/O in Lupins bar, one night where he went to meet with  Odasaku for a couple drinks. He heard a women in the opposite corner of the bar humming to herself. 

✿ Having nothing to do with her, the smaller hums were relaxing to just think during before he made his leave.

✿ Frequent visits later- Dazai found himself showing up for her, more then the drinks. Often alone, he’d just come to listen to the women hum, or even sing sometimes. 

✿ She rarely properly sung in order to leave the peace at the bar serene. Having no interest in making someone uncomfortable.

✿ One day he visited and finally spoke to her, even praising her just for a mere tune that created a beautiful atmosphere in a normally gloom bar.

✿ Days on end, Dazai would insist on her singing for him. Free time? he’d be spending that time at the bar. He was often curious as to why the talented women was stuck at a cheap bar like Lupins. Yet, she never seemed to answer his question. So he left it be. 

✿ That’s how they end up getting closer and started dating. Visiting almost everyday to see one another- The women never questioned his often dull expression as days pass by. 

✿ Who knew she had been the single thing keeping him to hold some faith in humanity, or even himself. 

✿ As the visits became daily and they started dating, she often would leave the bar and sing for Dazai outdoors. It allowed her to use all her vocals, no matter how loud she may be. 

✿ Hums, small tunes, singing then- Opera. Something she always found interest in. Feeling confident to sing for Dazai after really knowing each other.

✿ The first time his S/O grabs his hand before he even sat himself down, he knew something was up. Rather it was good or bad had been the real question.

✿ “ I wanted to try something new for you “

✿ Dazai had no idea what he was instore for, but accepted it anyways. Sitting himself on the ground crisscross. 

✿ That was the first time she had sung an Opera for him. It was purely her voice, no instruments in the background or some music video online. It was live, right in front of his eyes. 

✿ Boy was this mafia executive in Awe. His S/O was beautiful, and not just that. She was talented !! 

✿ Dazai being in the mafia hasn’t any experience in the world of singing, yes he often would hum random tunes through boredom. But her voice was so strong, and held control throughout the whole performance. 

✿ Once his S/O finished singing, Dazai was speechless. Eyes sparkling like a child as he stands up and grasps her hands. There was hardly space in between them, but he pays no attention towards that. 

✿ “ That was outstanding !! How’d you do that ?? “

✿ Honestly he didn’t give her time to answer his question, before asking a million more. Dazai was just in love with her voice, even more than before. It was stronger then any person he’s fought against. How could someone be so talented and it not be an ability or something?

✿  Overall this boy is in shock, he’s absolutely in love with the singing and insists on his s/o doing it more for him on the days off work.

[adarlingsnightmare]

Chuuya Nakahara Yandere Alphabet

Anonymous said:

Sounds good! How about the alphabet for chuuya? :3c 

accidentally posted this to my main blog after writing a huge apology for my lack of posting :/ i keep doing that unfortunately. anyways, ive had a full week exams which is why i havent been posting. im extremely tired and stressed but i will try to get more requests done this week, though i have another week of exams. i do apologise, but itll be over soon. i hope you enjoy anon, this short bastard is one of my favs. <3

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Chuuya would gladly smother you in endless kisses and cuddles, but if you tell him to back off, he'll stick to just having an arm around you (because god forbid he isn't touching you in one way or another). You'll often hear him whispering how much he absolutely adores you when he thinks you're asleep, and when you're visibly awake he'll be showering you in compliments.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Oh, Chuuya will undoubtedly do whatever it takes to keep you safe, even if that results in bloody murder. He's in the mafia after all, what's a little blood on his hands, especially in the name of love?

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Chuuya would only mock you if you consistently failed to escape or were getting punished by him. Otherwise, he is generally loving and as romantic as possible. He will always make sure you're eating and sleeping properly, snapping at you if you refuse to eat as he gets awfully worried about you sometimes.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling's will?

No, not really. The only instances where something's against his darlings will is when he's punishing them. Other than that, it's mainly abduction and the lack of freedom to talk to people.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Chuuya confides in his darling, and will show a side of himself that no one else ever sees. He'll ask for advice on work matters and will constantly seek love and reassurance from his darling. While outwardly he may still appear tough and cocky, he's really soft for you.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

He would be pretty irritated and though he'd never admit it, quite hurt. Why can't you just love him, goddamnit?! He'll try not to hurt you too much, but if you're not backing down he will use force to get you to stop.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

Chuuya doesn't enjoy it in the slightest. His love for you isn't some 'game' and seeing you try to escape both infuriates and saddens him. All he truly wants is to be a happy, normal couple so your refusal to love him is not something he enjoys.

Hell: What would be their darling's worst experience with them?

Chuuya isn't always fully aware of how strong he actually is, especially when he uses Corruption and becomes out of control. This can lead to a terrifying situation where you're worried for your life as a monster in your boyfriend's body goes on a rampage and destroys everything around him. It rarely happens, as Chuuya really doesn't want to hurt you, but when it does it's a living nightmare.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Honestly, Chuuya doesn't really know what kind of future he wants for him and his darling, but ideally you two would move to some beautiful island — somewhere in the Caribbean, maybe? — get married, possibly start a family and live out the rest of your days in bliss.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Luckily, Chuuya isn't insanely possessive and doesn't lash out just because you looked at someone else, but he is paranoid. He has to keep you away from other people because, what if they attempt to hurt you? The only instance where he would genuinely become jealous is if Dazai was involved. This is when you'll see his full yandere side come out and it will be extreme: locking you up in highly secure room, restraining you, putting tracking devices in everything you own, anything to ensure your safety. If you were to show an interest in Dazai, whether platonic or even worse, romantic, his paranoia and jealousy would spike up tenfold — essentially guaranteeing you'll never see the light of day again.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Chuuya is generally really loving and calm towards his darling, still messing with them and lovingly calling them an idiot, but always so soft when speaking. However, if you were to be a brat, his rougher, more 'mafia' side would make an appearance— any soft words of reassurance thrown out the window.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

The 'traditional' way: flirting with you, taking you out on fancy dates and gifting you jewellery and flowers. He may seem smooth but he usually has to ask people (Kouyou) or the internet for advice on how to win someone's affections. He's also very observant to what you're interested in, so if you mention preferring movies to fancy dinners, that's where your next date will be.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Yes, but in a good way. Instead of being his 'tough executive' persona, when he's around you, he'll reveal a much sweeter and softer side of himself. He's also surprisingly affectionate, taking every opportunity to be as close to you as possible.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Chuuya doesn't generally plan out punishment, he tends to go into a fit of rage and attack you with whatever is nearest. Usually it results in you being choked, slammed repeatedly against the floor or him almost breaking your ribs with his foot. Once he's calmed down is when he will decide on a proper punishment, such as keeping you restrained to the bed, taking away certain privileges or maybe if you've really done something bad... a more permanent solution will be used.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

As long as his darling was relatively compliant, Chuuya's only real restriction would be the ability to go outside alone without the safety of his watchful eye. Of course, if you betrayed his trust, any hint of freedom you had previously would be stripped away.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Chuuya tries to be patient, he really does, but he's just so hotheaded that he often ends up snapping at his darling whenever they act up in the slightest.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

To put it simply: no. No one else can make Chuuya feel this way, and without his wonderful darling, he feels distanced from the world. It is likely he would continue working for the Port Mafia (unless they were involved in your escape/death), a mere shell of his former self only existing to serve the mafia rather than actually living.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Chuuya would feel a small amount of guilt if he had to kidnap you, but his belief that it's necessary for your protection would overrule the guilt. He would absolutely never let you go, you're like the anchor that keeps him human; he cannot lose you.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Like Dazai, Chuuya feels almost inhuman, like he is a foreigner in someone else's body, yet when he brushed hands with you, he felt something real. This is what drives him to get to know you: the desperation to be human. The more he spends time with you, the more this feeling increases — leading him to be unable to just allow you to leave him. Ironically, he becomes less human the more time he devotes to you.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Chuuya really doesn't like seeing you upset, and it hurts his heart having to punish you when you're so upset, but some things are just a necessary evil. If you've done something he considers to be really bad, he will be apathetic to your tears, believing you deserve whatever you're suffering.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Unlike a lot of yanderes, Chuuya does respect your boundaries to a degree, and won't force you to do anything you really protest against (aside from letting you go, of course).

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Chuuya has to leave for work nearly everyday, so if you're smart and able to break locks, you have a fairly good chance of escaping. However, even if you do escape, Chuuya will find you again, and he won't take the betrayal lightly.

Wit's end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Chuuya has a pretty short temper, especially when it comes to the safety of his darling, so if you persistently tried to escape or "put yourself in danger" (interacting with Dazai, refusing food), he may snap. As stated previously, he doesn't enjoy your pain, but sometimes it's necessary to get you to listen.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Despite his sometimes arrogant nature, Chuuya sees his darling as on an entirely separate level to himself. He practically worships you, though he doesn't always like to show it (he's got to keep up his tough guy persona after all) and would gladly do anything you asked. His loyalty to you is even able to override his loyalty to the Port Mafia.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Chuuya would make an effort to woo you, buying you flowers and taking you out on fancy dinners, hoping that you'll end up wanting to be in a relationship with him. He'll vehemently deny being so desperate to be with you, but it's pretty obvious he's hopelessly in love. If you were to continuously reject his advances, he may eventually end up kidnapping you, but only if he thought you were in danger (or that another person was making a move on you).

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

If he did end up breaking you, it wouldn't be intentional. All Chuuya wants is your unconditional love and affection, but he can get desperate if you're not showing it and will make you say how much you love him, even if you have to be put through hell to achieve it.

[fifteenleads]

Chuuya had worn pink ribbons in his hair on one of Dazai's past birthdays.

It had been the result of losing a bet, as always. The cunning bastard had an extra trick up his sleeve and reversed all of Chuuya's hard-earned points in UNO. He'd become the laughingstock of the entire Black Lizard force that day, and because of that, he couldn't say no to Dazai this time.

"Be my birthday gift," had been the exact order. Yet another variation of Dazai's "be my dog (for all eternity)" spiels, to which Chuuya had either merely ignored or responded to with any and all degrees of violence possible— none of which worked on Dazai, of course.

Having caught wind of the affair, Ane-san had been so kind as to style his messy hair into an intricate double-braid that went across his crown, then twisted and tied together with pins and pink ribbons made of real silk. It was, for all purposes, technically fulfilling his end of the bargain; Dazai would never deny a "gift" just because it didn't have large ribbons wrapped around it.

Considering how much Dazai had relished the challenge of undoing the braids and pins one by one with that smarmy mouth of his, Chuuya had let himself feel proud just a bit— even if it guaranteed that the same thing would only happen next year, and the year after that.

The next year had never happened, however. As well as the year after that.

Chuuya still kept those pink ribbons in his dresser, in a sealed box, never to be opened until— whenever that would be.

Maybe when he was finally ready to forgive.

He was loathe to admit it, but deep down, he missed Dazai a lot, insufferable mackerel that he was. The years have taught him to ignore that growing Dazai-shaped hole in his chest, but one day it will no longer be enough. He knew that much, and was prepared to live with it.

It was merely a consequence of certain events, the Boss had dismissed, and Chuuya had slowly begun to believe it until his mind went numb.

A knock on the door interrupts Chuuya's thoughts. He hadn't been expecting anyone for the day, given that it's his annual birthday leave. "Parcel for Nakahara-san," goes the voice over the intercom, a professional lilt with a hint of delight.

Normally Chuuya would pretend to not be at home until the other person gets tired and leaves; there's no way of telling what sort of person is lying in wait— a standard precaution of sorts for the line of work he's in. The knocking and ringing of his doorbell persists for a whole five minutes, however, and Chuuya's patience finally reaches its breaking point.

"Take a fucking hint, damn you!" he bellows into the intercom, glaring into the peephole to see which bastard dares ruin his—

In an instant, Chuuya's years of training and self-control fail spectacularly as he practically short-circuits, instantly breaking the door and tackling his visitor into the ground.

"YOU—!" he growls with a feral vengeance, "How dare you show up now after disappearing for two whole years!"

"Now, now, that's no way to treat your birthday gift," Dazai tuts back, totally unfazed. "Is this the welcome I get after so long? I thought you missed me more than that."

Sandy brown trench coat, black vest over a blue shirt, beige slacks, and bandages peeking out from all parts of his body. For all those months Chuuya had never seen Dazai, he would never, ever forget how much he hated that cunning smirk and those knowing eyes that have seen it all.

Yet, despite that— despite everything, Chuuya missed Dazai so much.

He responds to that feeling with his strongest punch to Dazai's face.

"I did," Chuuya answers after that, not bothering to wipe his bloody knuckles. "And you'd better believe I'm gonna yell at you so much, your ears will bleed after."

Dazai laughs weakly in response, a stream of blood from his nose flowing down his upper lip and into his mouth. With a sigh, Chuuya finally gets off Dazai's torso and helps him up. He probably has enough antiseptic and spare bandages in the medicine cabinet, even that shitty mackerel will thank him for it later.

"I swear to the gods, you have a lot of explaining to do," Chuuya mutters under his breath, Dazai's arm slung over his shoulder as they enter his apartment. "You're paying for the door."

"But I'm broke, Chuuya," Dazai languidly protests, his other arm lazily snaking around Chuuya's torso like it was a thin beanpole. "I live on three cup noodles a day, you know."

"I'll drop you," Chuuya threatens with a low voice. He doesn't resist the way Dazai clings to him, though, the extra body heat filling him with a warmth he has missed for so long now. Dazai definitely knows this, and may just be intentionally pushing his buttons, but Chuuya lets him be for now.

They have all afternoon to catch up, after all.

.

"Hey, Chuuya," Dazai calls out in a singsong voice, "Where'd you keep the ribbons from my birthday before? We should play dress-up!"

Chuuya, at least, has half a mind to not hurl the bottle of iodine at Dazai. Damn that shitty, insufferable mackerel, just after he made such a huge scene out front. (Chuuya knows that that one is his fault; he's just being petty, and he knows it.)

It doesn't stop him from playing right into Dazai's hands, though. (He knows that, too.)

"I threw them out," Chuuya deadpans as he gathers up the medical supplies to put them back. Dazai probably already knows where he kept those hideous things; the bastard has already stayed over for days on several occasions, after all. He mentally prepares himself for an embarrassing death by humiliation later, should Dazai succeed in retrieving those ribbons and do unspeakable things with them, knowing how he is.

To Chuuya's (greatest) surprise, Dazai hasn't moved an inch by the time he gets back. He hasn't wiped off that irritating, expectant smirk from his face, however. "Well?"

"I already told you, they're gone," Chuuya repeats, not bothering to hide the annoyance in his voice, since Dazai probably knows he is lying anyway. They both know that keeping up this charade is useless, but Chuuya has Many Things he wants to tell Dazai, short of kicking his ass and pinning him to the ground. And so he allows himself this much pettiness, at least— an injured man deserves at least this much kindness.

"... Fine, if you don't want to tell," Dazai relents after a few moments, letting himself plow down onto Chuuya's bed. "Is it just me, or are these sheets softer than I remember?" Twisting his body to bury his head into the pillow there, he lets out an exaggerated, satisfied moan, as if only to prove his point.

"Get the hell off!" Chuuya quickly clambers up to the bed to forcibly remove Dazai, who holds on tight to the pillow with a childish pout. "These are imported, dammit!"

"No waaay!" Dazai rolls back and forth, evading Chuuya's attempts to grab him by his clothes. "Aww, the little kid can't reach with his little arms and legs! What to do~?"

Chuuya has had enough.

He quickly extends his right leg to the other side of the bed and kneels, effectively trapping Dazai's squirming torso between his thighs, before leaning in and grabbing a fistful of hair. "I don't know what the hell you came here for, but my patience is wearing thin," Chuuya growls into Dazai's ear. "You've always had your way for so long, it fucking gets on my nerves, you know.

"I hate you, shitty Dazai. I hate you so much I want to kill you right now." Chuuya's vision begins to cloud, and the rest of his senses dullen until the only thing he can appreciate is his rapid heartbeat and angry pulse. He thinks he is losing control, as reckless and wrathful as the god that dwells in him.

How pathetic must he look before Dazai before he is satisfied?

How low must he go before Dazai before he is finally seen?

"Oh, Chuuya," comes an airy whisper, before cold hands cup his cheeks and a ghost of a kiss touches his lips.

The spell immediately breaks, and Chuuya's strength immediately leaves his body. Dazai lets him lie on his torso, the thick comforter separating their bodies. "Must you always be so difficult," Dazai mumbles wearily, one arm circling Chuuya's waist and the other gently combing through his hair. "Then again, that's just like you."

"... Shut up..." Chuuya mouths, unable to muster the strength to use his voice. "... Ribbons... in safe..."

"I know," Dazai confirms, his hands unceasing with their gentle minstrations. "They're in my pocket."

"... Damn you..." Chuuya says again, without any malice. He feels himself gradually drifting off. He knows this is how it would end, but... "... Won't... forgive you..."

"I know..." Dazai, too, starts to drift off slowly, and the next line, spoken in remorse, breaks Chuuya's heart: "I'm sorry."

Pink ribbons stained with tears fill his dreams that night, and the next morning, Dazai is gone, a check for a measly ten thousand yen left on the nightstand.

The sealed box in his safe remains untouched.

Chuuya buries his head into his pillow, inhales Dazai's scent, and lets himself cry.

.

For Eloise. (4/4)

... I have no excuse. (hides)

Happy birthday, my friend!

[chuuyas--wine-bottle]

No Longer Human and what more

Allow me to throw some theories again from the chapter 70. Tons of spoilers so please proceed at your own risk. 

If you are reading this I am assuming you already know the spoilers from chapter 70. So the things I am gonna mention are;

What is “Dazai Osamu” actually? 

Possible back story of Dazai + Ango’s ability 

Please feel free to rb and add more or ask me shits. 

What is “Dazai Osamu” Actually? 

The book itself is Dazai Osamu: I find this thought amusing and petrifying at the same time; that he can be the book. The reason why he wears bandages are that the words are carved on his skin. His suicide is just a facade and the reason he fails to succeed at his attempts are due to him manipulating his heart beats. However in 2016; Nov with an interview with Pixiv, Harukawa sensei mentions that Dazai has an extreme lust for suicide and self harming and this is why he is wrapped all over bandages. If this is taken as a cannon and official fact, then Dazai can’t be the book himself. As well as, then the BEAST novel doesn’t make any sense, if he is the book why did he destroy himself? 

The literal “No Longer Human”: It’s possible that Dazai is, in fact not human but rather has been experimented; like his partner. As mentioned in latest chapter, he had been trained to control his heart beat for communication purposes. He could be trained by the government or Mori. Or simply he is not a human but the book itself in human form. He can be mutated as a book (as weird as it can get, its really possible). Like Chuuya’s ability, the final form of No Longer Human is to turn himself into the book. This can be possible since Natsume sensei’s ability is turning into cat. Meaning Dazai is anything but an actual living human. Or simply No Longer Human is an extremely powerful ability that manipulates it’s owner without them realizing (possible since Dazai is seen miscalculating a lot of the issues in cannabolism arc + makes sense since Dazai’s ability is always on even if it’s an nullifying ability; thus he can not control his ability) 

Dazai is dead and everything is being played from his memories: Thats it. Thats the simplest thought. 

Possible backstory for Dazai + Ango’s ability

Dazai is an experiment Subject like his partner: It’s possible that Dazai had been experiemented at an early age or Mori was the one who had performed various types of experiments on him to see what he can or can not do. Like Chuuya’s ability, its possible that No Longer Human is also an artificial ability or the fruit of the experiment that had gone wrong but turned out to be rather interesting. 

Dazai/Chuuya’s past + Ango’s ability: If you remember, in Dead Apple, Chuuya had strangled Ango; he held onto his wrist while Ango tried to free himself from Chuuya’s grip. It is revealed that Ango’s ability is touch based ability like Chuuya, Dazai and Fyodor. Ango is able to collect information and their memories of past by touching a person. When Ango had touched Chuuya in Dead Apple, he was able to collect Chuuya’s memory and his information (of the birth of Double Black + Arahabaki). This is possible since the 15 light novel itself is a report written by Ango, and he of course has an upper hand since he is working for the government. Now 15 LN is known as Soukoku’s backstory but it mostly revolves around Chuuya than Dazai. So it is possible that due to No Longer Human cancelling Ango’s ability, he is unable to collect Dazai’s past or memories, or Ango is the only one who knows about Dazai’s past but he decided to erase them like how he had admitted to erase Dazai’s sin from the mafia to fullfill Odasaku’s wish and give Dazai the freedom he never had. Basically Dazai’s backstory is “Error 404 try again.” 

[chuuyaaf]

Living to Die - Part 11.5

[Beginning]

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_____, you haven't spoken a word to me since that fight and it's been days.

Can you at least come home? Where have you even been staying?

It heightened your ego to see those texts from Dazai. You had purposely been avoiding him out of sheer irritation. You even rented a couple hotels to stay at, cycling through them and messing with the security cameras to avoid him. You knew he knew your pattern and he'd catch on eventually, which is why it irked you even more that he hasn't bothered to look for you yet.

At the most recent executive meeting, Dazai had left a seat open for you, which you promptly took the chair and sat down on it across the table, refusing to acknowledge Dazai's presence. This alerted nearly everyone in the room of your awkward situation.

Now, it was the night of the dance. You were sitting in a limousine with Chuuya and you had on a dress that you knew would drive your lover insane. It was bright red, stopped right below your ass, and showed off your curves a little too perfectly.

"You know, if this little plan of ours fails and you just end up embarrassing yourself, this was entirely your plan and not mine."

You rolled your eyes. "Just shut up and hold my hand." You pushed the door open on Chuuya's side and he stepped out, extending his gloved hand for you to hold onto as you stepped out of the limo.

Your eyes immediately scanned the vicinity. Ozaki was giving you a strange look in which you just smiled at waved before mouthing "I'll explain later". Various members of the Port Mafia were mingling with the guests and then you spotted him.

Dazai Osamu was chatting up one of the guests. Although you regularly saw him dressed up, the sight of him still made your heart throb. You wanted nothing more than to just run into his arms, let yourself melt into his chest and pretend that none of this ever happened.

That is...until you saw the petite woman clinging onto his arm. Your heart now throbbed in pain and you scowled in jealousy, forcing yourself to look away, now filled with determination. You wrapped your arm around Chuuya's and began to walk forward, smirking when you noticed Dazai look over from the sidelines. 

From what little you gathered from glancing at him, he was not expecting you to retaliate in this manner. But he immediately caught onto what you were trying to do and gave you a smirk before pulling that girl closer, causing you to fume up even more.

"You know, you really should have expected this. It is Dazai, after all. No matter how much you try, he always seems to one-up you..." Chuuya was speaking from past experience.

You grabbed a drink and spoke through a fake smile. "I don't even know why I came here." You sipped on your drink. "I'm sorry for the trouble."

Chuuya waved his hand. "It's fine - you were pretty drunk and adamant about it."

"If you knew that I was drunk then why'd you agree to it?!"

"Because you wouldn't shut up about it~" Chuuya teased you, fully prepared when you attempted to smack him on the head.

"Well...You agreed to it, so now you can't complain about it."

"What kind of fucked up logic is that?!"

You chuckled at him, temporarily forgetting your annoying situation.

After all, although Dazai was your lover, Chuuya was your best friend.

Dazai had glanced over to you from time to time now that you were fully engaged in a conversation with Chuuya. This was the first time he saw you two interacting, although he knew that you regularly went drinking with him. He'd never admit it, but those same exact feelings of jealousy that took over you was also stirring up in him. 

"Dazai-sama?" The woman clinging onto his arm tugged a little, irritated by his lack of attention.

He looked over at her and began to speak, but found himself unable to find words. Or rather, it was like his heart wasn't letting him. He couldn't get your image out of his head. In fact, he even felt disgusted with himself for even having another girl on his arm.

Dazai Osamu was not one to be particular about things like that. If it gets the job done, then it's worth doing. But although this girl could be the key to opening up a lot of opportunities for the Port Mafia, he couldn't set aside his feelings for you. The lack of control drove him up the walls. He withdrew his arm and cleared his throat.

"Excuse me, I have something I need to do."

5...4...3...2...1... 

Zero.

"And down the drain the mafia goes~ Along with them will go our woes~ Come out resentment in the form of excitement and blow my enemies away~!"

You were now thoroughly enjoying yourself at the party, not even noticing Dazai abandoning his date and walking towards you. 

But before he could even get to you, there was a giant flash of light and all the lights within the building turned off.

"What the...?" you got up and looked around.

"Someone dares to attack the Mafia at our most important gathering?" Chuuya's scowl matched yours.

"Only the executives and Boss are here."

"There's a chance that it could just be a power outage, but..."

"I doubt it." You and Chuuya finished that sentence at the same time. You began to scan the area for intruders using your abilities, but as soon as you started to, the enemy showed themselves.

"I'd suggest you all get down~ This party's about to get fun!"

Gunshots rang in from the windows outside. They were expertly placed so that anyone that was hit wasn't immediately killed. Not wanting to reveal yourself as one of the executives, you knelt down and covered your head like the casual guests.

The enemy has some nerve attacking the top Port Mafia members...He has to have a trump card...I just need to figure out what that is...

He jumped down to the floor and pulled out a trigger.

A bomb?! As long as I can locate it, I can send an electromagnetic signal to disable-

"I know I know, you're probably all thinking: 'a bomb? We're the infamous and scary Port Mafia, we're not afraid of bombs!!!' But you're wrong," he chuckled darkly. "Ability: Seventh Sense"

He looks familiar...

"My ability allows me to detect the usage of abilities, including defensive ones. So if one of you decides to use it to attack me or dismantle the bomb, I'll push the trigger and we'll all go boom~"

If it was just you that was threatened, you wouldn't care. You could simply redirect the heat and impact from the explosion away from you. But there was a certain bandaged executive that your abilities couldn't protect because he nullifies abilities. Knowing him, he'd probably find a way to escape, but you couldn't risk it. If he got hurt because of your mistake, you'd never forgive yourself no matter how irritated you were at him at the moment. You had to be smart about this.

You sighed and then reached under your dress where you kept a pistol and a dagger for situations like this. When the moment came where the perpetrator looked slightly away from you, you immediately stood up and pulled the trigger, the bullet flying only a mere inch away from his head.

"That was a warning shot," you spoke.

He looked over at you, his eyes full of excitement, as if he just found the lost treasure on a deserted island.

"You..."

You grew increasingly uncomfortable with this situation. You figured that Mori or Dazai already called for backup, but any wrong move and the bomb would go off and you'd all be goners. "What do you want?" you asked. "What would make you so intent on destroying us that you'd stupidly barge into a room full of Port Mafia executives with a plan you have no way of surviving in?"

He started laughing at your question. "I know you...It's you!!!! I know what they call you...The Succubus of the Port Mafia."

"HAH?!" you yelled out in surprise. "When the hell did I get that nickname?!"

Honestly, I seduce someone for an assassination twice and I end up with that nickname...

"You killed him."

"?"

"My name is Takahashi Nao."

Takahashi...

You realized. He shared the same surname as your target from your last mission before you were promoted to an executive.

"Takahashi Eito was my father. And you killed him."

"..."

"Everyone told me that it was a suicide. But I knew. It took me months, but I finally tracked you down and now? You're all gonna die. Whether it be by this bomb or by the gunmen I have stationed outside, you will die. I don't care if I die with you as long as I take you down with me!"

You truly understood the boy in front of you. For so many years, revenge was the only thing on your mind. But now that the Port Mafia was your family, you couldn't let him have his way.

"The inability to look at things objectively equals the inability to be a leader," you spoke. "If you force your subordinates to go on a path to defeat purely for your emotional satisfaction, then you've failed as a leader. You're wrong. It's not us that's going to die. It's you. And that's purely because you failed as a leader. You're willing to sacrifice yourself and your subordinates in a poorly thought-out plan that even a child would have recognized as defeat-"

A gun shot out.

And soon after, the gunshots from outside resumed.

You were tackled to the floor as Takahashi Nao shot his gun at you as you were taunting him. The gunshots that were ringing outside were due to the Port Mafia reinforcements fighting against the armed men that Nao recruited.

You were disoriented from falling to the ground so suddenly, but when you saw the person that tackled you, your breath hitched.

"Dazai..."

The bandaged executive had his hands on either side of your head to hold himself up. "I want us to be official."

"?!?!?! What?!"

"I'm tired of running around and hiding, _____. I want everyone to know and I want you on my arm and-"

"THIS REALLY ISN'T THE BEST TIME TO BE DISCUSSING THIS, DAZAI!"

Although you were frustrated with him, you still pulled him down into a kiss. "But I'd love that," you whispered. "Now...Let's kick this asshole out of here."

Both of you smirked as you looked around at the chaos around you.

Both of you opened your mouths to speak.

"I love you."

"I love you."

[allbuthuman]

I've seen a lot of analysis of Chuuya's character focusing on being used or controlled, and I think I see it a bit differenly than most of what I've read, so here's some of my thoughts.

Control and lack thereof is, of course, a major theme in his arc. He was made how he is against his will, had his past taken away from him, and was being used for his strength by the Sheep, before getting blackmailed to join the mafia. However, in present time, and, in my opinion, from Stormbringer and onwards, Chuuya is essentially only being controlled by his own self (excluding the vampirism, of course). Let me explain.

Chuuya, likely because of his need to cling onto his humanity, has always been people-oriented. He knows that he holds more power than most, and is therefore obligated to protect others with it. Shirase and the Sheep don't need to tell him that, even though they do. He knows and believes it himself regardless. We can see that because he acts the same even around people who don't rely on him (the Flags).

Before Stormbringer, he might have acted this way because it was instilled into him by others. Through the events of Stormbringer, Chuuya becomes more confident in his own nature. He understands Verlaine and how he ended up the way that he is, and decides that's not gonna be him. He sees Dazai trying to discard his humanity, and decides that's not gonna be him. He is gonna be his own person, and his own person is someone who puts others before himself. He describes this process himself to Verlaine, saying that even if he wanted to kill N, which he probably did, he can't do that, because he is obligated to find the truth for the sake of his dead friends. That's a decision that's focused on others, but he is the one making it, and it's important to him that he is the one making it.

From that point on, he continues to make similar choices. First of all at the end of Stormbringer, when he immediately decides on saving Yokohama from destruction instead of learning the truth about himself, and the fact that he is the one making the choice is emphasised. Dazai gives him another choice, and he doesn't even need two minutes to consider it, because, by that point, he's only staying true to who he is. The same is true for Dead Apple, when he doesn't hesitate to use corruption without knowing if Dazai is alive.

I think that if we were to pinpoint a specific point in time where this solidified in his mind, it would be right after he was tortured by N. His hallucinations fed him his own doubts and fears, and, by the point he snapped out of them and decided to fight Verlaine instead of N, he knew that, human or not, he is his own person with his own emotions and he will stay true to that. It's likely that he didn't exactly put all of this into words in his mind, but it becomes very clear when he says that Verlaine "is just an ordinary human. He gets mad, he worries... That doesn't seem to be enough for him, though". He's confused when Adam implies so, but what his words mean is that it is, in fact, enough for Chuuya.

My point is that yes, Chuuya has always used his power way more often for the sake of others than himself, but the reason he does so, the reason he allows it, is simply the fact that he is Chuuya. If he's unable to stop acting that way, which he admits that he is, it's not because others are controlling him. It's because he is who he is. Whether or not that means he is free or not is beyond the point of this post, because it's sort of a circular process, where his own will is to act for the sake of others. But I do think, for example, that he wouldn't see himself the way a good chunk of the fandom sees him.

(also this is kind of a continuation of this post, or at least related to it, so check here for more chuuya ponderings)