#most people are fine but there was someone who got. . . a little guilt trippy with the whole 'draw for a guaranteed slot' but i'm just | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mostly-sentence-starters · 3 years

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Advice seeking anon here! I wanted to thank you! It was sort of about the technical side of rping and more on tips on how to deal with....the emotional side of things? But not like reactions/stuff going on in the threads I do have. But like...the disappointment of expectation.(Example that made me ask in the first place: Though unrelated but important to start off this with is that...I have friends who are mutuals but we don't write together. We do interact. Liking and commenting on posts and building a friendship that way. I am hecka anxious and I'm working on it. Like ya know, believing that mutuals DO wanna get asks from me and memes. But it's still disheartening when you send in memes they post, make starters, but they go unanswered with the other person later making posts about wanting more threads and being bored. I've had plenty of reasons myself as to why I can't answer certain threads. Ranging from time, RL errands or demands, or just the muse. I feel guilty they're not having fun but I don't feel like trying cos it's clear they're not waiting to hear from ME and so...I dunno, looking for tips on how as learn to calm my anxiety over not being the fix other people are looking for...but now that I've written this out, I'm guessing no one doing hobbies for free will be able to tell me much beyond...it's out of my control. And I guess to focus on what I can do.....I feel like being a kid again. Being in the same class with someone, even the same table and working together and being genuinely friendly but like...they still have their group of friend they hope to get hand written notes from.)

Hey there again Nonnie! There’s a lot to unpack here so most of it will be under the readmore! I totally get what you’re saying though and I have been mutuals with people similar to those you are describing. Of course every situation is quite different though, so keep that in mind.

First and foremost, of course it is important for people to remember RP IS a hobby. However, it is a collaborative hobby which means there is some mutual respect and decency required and communication is a must.

Of course real life / mental health / how much muse someone has / etc is a factor in how active a mun is. That makes sense and is valid.

From what I’ve noticed from my time RPing is that not everyone wants the same thing out of RP. A good chunk of people are more focused toward short on-dash treads/crack interactions, asks, writing headcanons, and plotting OOC. But not so much doing actual threads.

This version of RP quite frankly not for me, and it sounds like it's not what you’re looking for either. My primary concern is, and always will be the writing part of roleplay. This may just not be what this other person’s priority is, which may just mean you aren’t compatible. This doesn’t mean they can’t or shouldn’t RP this way--it just means it doesn’t mesh well for how you RP.

It sounds like you are putting forth an effort to extend an olive branch to them to RP. And that’s good! I do think it’s important to give people chances--to an extent.

But how you are describing what’s happening sounds very similar to some experiences I’ve had with RPers that have and issue with attention pandering/passive-aggressive behavior(x) on dash, which is very much not okay. If you have tried several times to extend a branch to them through memes/starters/etc. and the other person NEVER answers but is constantly or often harping OOC about how they want interactions but never send anything to other people and never answer asks you sent them yet still say they want attention/asks/etc?

That’s very guilt-trippy and acting like others exist to be at their beck and call whenever they want attention. And to piggyback on this post (x) you don’t owe anything to people who are not treating you with equal respect.

If this was a case where the mun had sporadic activity due to IRL/mental heath/etc. and thus can’t send in many memes to other people because of it, but do when they can but are just overall slow and sporadic with their activity? That’s fine (though it may not be compatible with all other RPers) it is fine and acceptable behavior to have a busy life and not be tied to your computer. But you should not be made to feel guilty for not showering someone with attention and keeping them happy 24/7.

I get very stressed out by seeing posts like “I’m bored! Come bother my muse! / Send me asks! / I want more threads! / I want more ships!” as well. Of course, in the end it’s up to you. Me however, I usually find myself unfollowing and dropping partners who do this because of the distress it causes me. RP shouldn’t be something that stresses you out to those levels or makes you cater to someone else’s every whim.

Honestly Anon, you may just have to let these people go. In my opinion, only from what I’ve heard it doesn’t sound like they are extending the same respect to you despite your attempts to make things work.

There are however, many people in the RPC who don’t do this type of thing that you will be far more compatible with and less stressed out by interacting with them. I personally recommend seeking those people out instead of giving chance after chance to people it sounds like it just won’t work out with.

But that’s only my experience, from what I can understand from your situation from this one ask. Maybe it is worth it to you to stick it out a little bit longer and see if you can make things work Perhaps filter/blacklist the mun’s OOC tag to stop you from seeing their posts asking for memes to be sent in and etc. and see if that helps.

But if RPing with these people bring you more distress than joy it may be time to let them go and look for some new muns to RP with. RPing got much better for me after I decided that interacting with people like that wasn’t for me.

I hope that helped a bit! If you have more questions feel free to ask (just may take me a bit! to get to)

- Mod Mudkip

#Anonymous #answered #not a meme #long post #modpost

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dkquills · 4 years

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The Warden Chronicles - Chapter 1

On a threadbare mattress strewn on the floor of a derelict apartment, a young mage slept… Or at least he was trying to.

“Blue, wake up. I need your help with something.”

Durden groaned and swatted his friend away, burying his head in his pillow.

“C’mon, man. Please?”

Begrudgingly, Durden removed the pillow and opened his eyes. His friend crouched next to him, freckled face pleading like a stray puppy. “Speck, what the… What time is it?”

“Bout eight in the morning.”

Durden ran his fingers through his matted azure hair and sat up. “Fuck, I just got to sleep like… two hours ago. Gimme a sec.”

“Tagging all night again?”

“Yeah.” He yawned, noticing that he’d missed washing some paint in the creases of his knuckles. “Down on Gallows Ave.”

“The grime tunnel? That place is gross. Nobody goes down there unless you want dry tongued head from a tweaker or a knife in your ribs.”

“No blowjobs or stabbings for me, thank you very much. It was actually empty. Shocking.” Durden rubbed the barely formed crusts out of his eyes as his stomach growled at him. When was the last time he ate? “Well, it’ll be a little less grimy until the city finds it and sand blast it away. Then it can go back to looking like mold and piss stains. Urban improvement at its best.”

“What’d you paint this time? Another political toon? Pin-up girl?”

“Nah, nothing like that. I actually did a mural of a raccoon and a crow sharing a huge mushroom as an umbrella.”

Speck tilted his head questionably. “Sounds trippy. You been using your own product?”

“Course not… Well, just weed. You know I don’t touch the hard shit.” He stretched, earning few satisfying pops from his spine.

Durden and Speck had been peddling drugs for Auntie’s Gang for the better part of a decade. Her shop was down the road in a part of the slums that was perpetually under construction. ‘Auntie’s Sweets Coming Soon!’ was written on the front window in cloyingly sweet colors. A front, of course, that the local guards wisely chose to ignore.

In the back was the room where they got shipments of drugs and where they cut up the harder stuff. Amberbliss was one of her top items on the streets these days. An amphetamine that was the highest of highs, but came at a steep price to one’s money, health, and sanity. It was said that Auntie’s baked goods were the best.

Auntie – nobody knew her real name- though sweet in name and her middle aged, librarian-esqu appearance, was well known for her ruthless grip on those who owed her money, or worse, those who stole her product.

They still hadn’t found the last guy who stole from her, but her pet pigeons had been looking exceptionally well fed lately.

Nobody crossed her. Ever.

“Don’t ask me why I chose to paint it… I thought some of the bums down there would want something nice to look at. Raccoons and crows are scavengers just like them.” Just like us, he thought. “The grime tunnel is their umbrella, after all.”

“Whatever you say.” Speck didn’t look impressed.

Durden rolled his eyes. “What did you wake me up for again?”

Speck sat back on the floor and swatted a roach away. “Auntie wants me to run a package out to the East Pith and I don’t want to go alone.”

Fumbling for his pants, Durden scanned the room for his shirt. “You go out there all the time. What do you need my help for?”

Speck put his hands together and got on his knees, pouting his lip out and making his eyes as big as they could possibly go. “Pleeeeaassssee?”

“Oh my gods, stop it.”

After pulling his shoes on, Durden found his pack and rolled himself a cigarette with the last pinch of his weed in it. He lit it, taking a deep drag. He’d have to remember to buy more once he was paid. He’d spent most of his money on paint last night. “Fine. I’ll help, but I want three things from you.”

Speck nodded.

“One, quit calling me ‘Blue’. I hate that shit. Two, we’re getting breakfast on the way. I’m starved. And three, I want half the cut since you woke my ass up so early. Just let me brush my teeth before we go.”

“Oh my gods, Blu- Durden. Thank you! But… I don’t have any money for food. Not till we make the drop.”

Durden smirked and blew smoke out of his nostrils. “When has that ever stopped us?”

The tent market of Malus Pith was a hodgepodge to say the least. Generally pop-up or rolled carts clogged up the main thoroughfare. Most of it was good people trying to make a buck despite the shady neighborhood. So long as people kept their wallets close and their head down, one wouldn’t expect much trouble. Already it was bustling with people eager to get the best picks of the day in produce and other goods. The scent of spiced meats, nuts, and hot cider wafted from the food carts, making Durden’s stomach growl. He double checked his pockets and found only the scant change he had left over from buying his paint and smokes the previous evening.

Thankfully, apples were plentiful and cheap this time of year.

Making his way over to a produce stand he eyed the flat of chicken and duck eggs for sale before turning to the variety of apples. He selected two big golden ones, noticing the vendor eyeing him suspiciously, her hand resting on the hatchet on her hip as a silent warning. Her expression changed when he actually produced a bill from his pocket. She turned her back to him for an instant to make change and handed it back to him with a thanks.

He tossed Speck an apple as the two of them made their way down the busy street. “I thought you didn’t have any money for breakfast?” said Speck, taking a big crisp bite.

“I only had enough for the fruit. These however-” Durden produced two eggs out of his coat pockets.

“You sneaky bastard. Can I have one?”

“No. Mine.”

Once they rounded a corner Durden tucked behind a delivery truck and held one of the eggs between his hands and blew hot breath on it. Slowly the egg grew warm, then hot to the touch. Durden continued this until he almost burned his palms. Placing the first egg on a ledge, he repeated the act with the second one.

Speck scanned the crowd behind him to make sure nobody was watching. “Aren’t you worried someone is going to see you doing that?”

Durden scoffed and cracked the egg against the brick wall before peeling it. Steam wafted from it in the cold morning air. “Shouldn’t you be more concerned about the drugs in your pocket?” he whispered.

To that, Speck didn’t say anything. He just kept an eye on the passing city guards across the street while Durden ate. Speck was the only person that knew Durden was a mage, and honestly, he should have given him more credit for keeping his secret.

“You manage to save up enough money for that train ticket yet?” Durden asked between bites to pass the time.

Speck sighed. “For the ticket, yes. Funds for when I get out, no. It’s why I’m covering Beth’s customers.” He turned toward Durden. “I still think you should come with me. See what else is beyond the walls and explore Loralli. Maybe find a place more tolerant of someone with your… talents.”

Durden looked from his friend up to the fifty-foot stone wall that made up Malus’ outer protection ring. Its top was stringed with sharp spikes that crested the ridge like a dragons back and glittered in the morning sun, protecting them from the bandits and wildlife that called the outside world home.

He shook his head.

While the walls were initially erected to keep the dangers of the Waste out, Durden always felt like it was a prison. Even if he started saving money like Speck had there was no way he’d earn enough to start a life elsewhere. Besides, he knew very little about even the closest cities like Hyperion, Helios, and the Port of Jebrahl. They might be even less tolerant to mages than Malus was. At least here he knew he could hide it pretty well.

Speck, on the other hand, just wanted to better himself. He’d been studying small engine repair and was getting pretty good at it too. He wanted to find honest work. Maybe see a little bit of the world while he was at it.

Feeling a pang of guilt for withholding much needed calories from his friend, Durden tossed Speck his uneaten apple.

After he had eaten most of it, Durden asked, “Tell me the truth. East Pith is bad and all but you’ve worked that territory loads before. What gives?”

Speck swallowed guiltily, wiping juice from his lips. “It’s Tanner’s place.”

Durden furrowed his brow. “Tanner… why do I know that name?”

“He’s John Carpelarosi’s nephew. Beth’s his usual dealer, but Tanner and his boys assaulted her last week. She’s still recovering.”

Durden’s shoulders tensed. Oh… That Tanner. “You’d think being in a mob family he would have his own supply for drugs.” Durden offered. The Carpelarosi family run the whole East Pith in Malus and some of the South too. A family that powerful normally had their own inner drug empire. Durden suspected Tanner must have done something nasty to have been cut off from the family, but apparently still had enough sway not to incur Auntie’s wrath after hurting one of her dealers.

There was something more to this, and Durden didn’t like it one bit.

Tanner lived in a second story apartment in what was arguably one of the worst parts of the Pith district. The façade of the brothel across the street was falling apart, the electrical cables that hung overhead thrummed angrily, and the gutters were so choked with garbage the streets were still wet from the rain the previous night. The feted stench of rotten food and human waste wafted through the cold air as a distant siren sounded blocks away.

Durden and Speck stepped over a man sleeping on the stoop and hit the buzzer on the front door. It took a few seconds before a gruff voice came over the other end. “Who is it?”

Speck cleared his throat. “Auntie’s Baked Goods.”

The door buzzed, unlocking to let them in.

Once they were standing in front of the apartment door Speck lifted his hand to knock, but the door swung inward before he could. A thin woman wearing only an oversized stained t-shirt stood there, staring through them with a haunted look. At first Durden thought they were at the wrong apartment, but a gravelly voice called from behind her, “Get out of the way!” She staggered to the side.

Durden felt a pang of guilt for the waif. She had a nasty bruise on the side of her face and if her behavior alone was any indicator, he’d say she was going through the beginnings of withdrawals.

“Bout time.”

Durden turned toward the voice and his eyes widened. Now he saw why Speck wanted backup. Durden had heard of Tanner, but had never seen him in person. The man stood nearly two heads taller than Durden and was over double his weight. He had a mean tattoo of a spider web that stretched across the back of his bald head and someone long ago had taken a chunk out of his left ear.

Speck produced a bag from his pocket and held it out for him to inspect. Tanner took it and held it up to the light, catching the amber crystals of amberbliss within like tiny prisms. The thin woman chewed her nails to the cuticle as she bore a hole in it with her eyes. Seeming satisfied enough, Tanner wordlessly pulled a wad of bills out of his pocket and tossed them at Speck before turning to the coffee table to lay out a line.

Picking up the bills from the floor, Speck counted them. “Ummm… Sir…” Tanner ignored them as he scraped the crystals across a small mirror in his hand. The thin woman fidgeted. Speck counted the bills again and a lump formed in Durden’s throat. “Tanner… you only gave me half the-”

“Fuck off,” Tanner spat. “We’re done. Out.”

Now what? They could stay and try and get the rest of the funds from this Sasquatch, or they could go back shorthanded and face Auntie’s wrath. Durden wasn’t sure which was worse.

He opted to step forward. Clearing his throat, he tried his best to look semi-authoritative. “Sir, I know you’re aware we can’t go back to Auntie without the funds. It’s business. I’m sure you underst-”

“I said, fuck off.”

Apparently, the waif had run out of patience, because when Tanner yelled ‘off’ she chose that moment to lean in to get her fix, but tripped, accidentally knocking the whole mirror out of his hand in the process. Durden watched in slow motion as the amber crystals tumbled down and heavily seasoned the filthy shag carpet below.

The woman froze. Durden and Speck froze. Tanner just looked up at the woman with rage in his eyes before winding up and punching her square in the face. Durden heard bone crack as she was lifted off her feet by the blow and collapsed over the coffee table. Blood gushed from her nose.

She moaned weekly and rolled over in the sparking bed of tempered glass.

Rubbing his knuckles, Tanner bent down and tried to salvage some of the crystals before they vanished further into the fabric sea, but between the mess and the rug fibers it was futile. He stood up and turned towards them. “Give me another bag.”

Speck was white as a sheet. “I… I don’t have any more.”

It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room. Durden’s heart dropped down somewhere into his guts.

Tanner stepped forward and spoke slowly. “Give. Me. Another. Bag.”

“I don’t…”

Durden’s back hit the doorknob before he even realized he’d been shoved. He wasn’t sure how Tanner had moved so fast for his size, but he had Speck lifted off his feet against the wall like he weighed nothing, strangling him. His friend’s eyes were impossibly wide and already bloodshot.

“I know you have more.” Tanner’s voice was hot gravel.

Speck thrashed his legs, but the kicks to Tanners midsection didn’t seem to faze him in the slightest nor did the clawing at his monstrous hands.

Durden scrambled to his friend’s aid, trying his best to push Tanner away, but he didn’t budge. Climbing behind him he jumped up and tried to get him into a choke hold, but before he could even wrap his arm around Tanners neck, the drugged out giant bit down on Durden’s forearm. Durden could feel the bite pressure in his bones.

Now stuck between trying to save his friend and his own limb, Durden wound up as hard as he could and punched Tanner square in his damaged ear.

It didn’t seem to dissuade the choking, but it did cause Tanner to open his mouth. Falling back, blood already began to run down Durden’s wrist and saturate his sleeve. Speck’s thrashing slowed, but the giant showed no intention of letting go.

Durden could probably run at this point. The door wasn’t locked after all and there was the fire escape. But what about Speck? He would be dead for sure.

Looking around for something anything to separate the two, his eyes finally landed on an oversized glass ashtray on the floor next to the shattered coffee table. Picking it up he heaved it at Tanner with all his strength. It made solid contact with the addict’s forehead, splitting his eyebrow open. Blood squirted forth, splattering Durden’s shirt and the carpet beneath him.

Speck dropped to the ground like a ragdoll. His attacker paused for a moment and stumbled, more surprised than in pain. After an instant of confused stupor, Tanner turned his rage to Durden. Instead of getting choked-out, Durden was picked up by the collar of his jacket and the next thing he knew he was airborne. Glass sliced the back of his neck and cheek as he passed through the window and landed on the fire escape beyond with a painful clang. The railing bent with the impact before he fell to the rusted slats below.

Blood was soaking through the arm of his sweatshirt now, cold and sticky against his skin while another trickle slid down his cheek, mixing with the tears he never realized had started flowing.

Glancing through blurred vision and the shattered window, Durden could see Speck lying there. Still as a corpse.

Something bubbled up inside Durden that he couldn’t quite explain. At first it felt like he was going to be sick, but the feeling expanded up through his chest and down his arms. It morphed and shifted into a tingle then a purr of energy that he felt at his very core.

The world spun on its axis. A thrum of electricity and sparks from the damaged power lines lit up Durden’s blurred vision like fireworks as Tanner tried to fit his thick frame through the broken window.

He beheld Tanner with a mix of fear and hate so corrosive he felt it would melt him alive.

All it would take was one more push and Durden would be cast to the pavement below. Tanner got his shoulder through the window, cutting his own flesh as he did. Though he didn’t seem to notice. Pure, drug addled rage was all that was behind those eyes, and Durden was certain it would be the last thing he ever saw.

In that moment the smell of ozone and static filled his nostrils as his hair began to stand up on end. Ropes of electricity arced from the nearby power lines. The transformer growled and popped angrily. Lifting his hand toward Tanner there was an instant of fear in the addict’s expression before the damaged transformer exploded. Electricity ripped through Durden like a conduit and exited through the tips of his fingers.

So, this was what it feels like to be hit by lightning.

Spots flashed before Durden’s vision. He distantly felt his body collapse on the metal fire escape and could smell burnt flesh as the welcoming veil of unconsciousness enveloped him.

#The Warden Chronicles #TWC #Chapter 1 #writing #DKQuills

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kierongillen · 5 years

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Writer Notes: The Wicked + the Divine 41

Spoilers, obv.

After last issue's formalism, this one just accelerates. And, as everything in this arc, everything is a big beat. If everything is a big beat, how do you choose what to spend your space on? What beats really matter? How do you pace it? What can be a grace note and what's a scene? That's what this issue, and the rest of the arc, tends to be about.

This issue has gone down very well. I'll admit that while I absolutely gasped when I got paged in, I suspect it's going to be least favourite of the whole arc. That more says how much I enjoy the rest of the arc. Also, as a friend put it to me, I may be allergic to making people happy.

Let’s get on with this.

Jamie and Matt's cover:

There is, to some degree, a "Who hasn't had a headshot cover?" to this arc. As such, Mimir finally gets his. This is a glorious one – the pinks and blues, work really well, and the circuitboards frame it well. Obviously, Mimir plays a big role in this issue, so it is thematic. As is…

Paulina's cover

I just love Paulina's covers, as her being the regular alt-cover artist on Thunderbolt should imply. This made me want to immediately pitch a kick-ass pop D&D bard comic to someone, Xena Warrior Princess as produced by Xenomania. The names of the swords are the chef-kiss, but there's so much to love. The expression is everything.

Page 1

One page scene, with a modified nine panel grid. The one page scene is something that happens a lot this arc. I did a two-page version, but with the right seven panels, we're sorted. Yes, this is all we see of the de facto antagonists of the series this issue – when last issue was all about them, it doesn't worry me too much.

Page 2

Standard music journalist concept. That the second album tends to be worst than the first. Hard to prove, though my old friend Peter's note that "you have your whole life preparing for your first album and have a year to do your second" does seem to imply an easy explanation.

Page 3-4-5

Stealth mission! It's Metal Gear WicDiv!

We actually forgot to add the flashes to the first panel until the very last minute. Monthly Comics is a hell of a time sometimes, stress the “hell.”

I love the determination of Laura in the second panel of 3. That's great eyes.

Looking at this now, that "I can't do much now" is in a panel smaller than 1/9th of the page says a lot about the scale she's working on. The background was Matt in full trippy mode – I had a friend note that this scene is a little akin to Kohl in Rue Britannia 5 (The difference being Kohl is using nostalgia for a performance, while Laura is just doing a performance) but the moving squiggle does remind me the use of optical illusions in Phonogram 3. Bugs in the optic nerve are our friend.

Panel 3 on 4 is obviously Clayton living large and conquering. When you ask for something like "Can you sample the background and use as a speech balloon" you have no idea if it's going to work.

We could have divided the middle panel into two, but I suspect it'd have been less effective. We've seen the trick before. Now we see the same trick, but different. Mix it up. We're performers.

Hmm. I realise the Norns string of balloons is something I'm doing more often now – it's not something I've always done. I'm normally a one-panel-one-emotion, which strings of dialogue rarely allow (as, if there’s any change of emotion inside the string, the image is rendered ludicrous). In a middle shot, and a strong emotional throughline with the dialogue and I'm more okay with it.

While this whole three pages is an action sequence, it's also exposition for Laura's current state. The best exposition is demonstration, I guess.

I mean, the last panel of page 5? That's how cut to the bone we are. Problem? Solve it. Problem? Solve it. We don't need to fuck around anymore.

Page 6-7-8

And after six whole trades, the reunion between Lucifer and Laura. I suspect a different writer would have played this bigger and more melodramatic, but when the reader knows this, a splash feels overkill, especially with the taut pacing of the rest of the issue. However... there are five panels here. That's a page's worth of content, and enough to give an emotional throughline.

Sometimes when writing it's all about trying to find an honest response which is also unexpected. Like, in life, you think you'll feel sad or happy at certain times, but when you live through it, you don't. Or you don't entirely. What other stuff is happening? That's what rings true to me.

Anyway – that's where Laura's Guilt comes from. Laura at her most Dionysus.

And then Lucifer shatters all that self pity with the wink. Did you miss me? Of course, you did.

Page 7, panel 4 is one of those "a comic panel is not a moment in time" bits of magic McLeod always talks about. As in, as we read across the panel time progresses. The Mimir/Cass conversation is getting on for... 10 seconds, maybe? The teleport signatures do not take that long to appear. It's only with Laura's interruption that panel kicks into high gear.

As Multiversity noted you can easily imagine another draft of this with a bigger fight scene. And it's true – but also lying around was a version which cuts it even shorter. Do we need to really give a whole page to Cass breaking out? I felt so. Without the big beat, it feels flat. And it's good to see Cass let rip.

The slight angle on Jamie's external shot with a Norns black/white plus golden thread from Matt is really interesting. We don't often see the Norns as combatants in WicDiv, so this is a rare chance to give Cass a "Hello, I am a bad ass too, in case you've forgotten."

Page 9-10-11-12

Cripes. Going this and making notes I can't believe how tightly we're winding this and (more so) getting away from it. We did all this in four pages?

Two panels to the escape – the right image and a handful of taut captions to hold you between scenes. The first is doing a lot of work, but the second is just elegant. What do you need but the broken doors? Great stuff by Jamie here.

(Laura's captions do a lot of work here in setting up the themes, and the return of Sakhmet's memory to the story)

If you're wondering "How on earth could we get the escape be quicker, it's to take the first two panels on page 8 and move to the previous page. That makes it a five panel page, which is entirely do-able. That's a cost, but it would have bought slightly more space in this scene. As it is, I preferred to cut mid-page and end with Lucifer's first spoken lines in ages.

Once more, a big reveal in a small panel. Chrissy's note on the script was basically hearts for Luci at this point. Like, the second she cuts to the chase and tell s people what to do...

...and then the page turn, and she just goes full Lucifer. I know you lot have missed her, but I have too.

Getting back to Inanna was also easy, the sweetheart... but it all leads back to Sakhmet. That Mothering Invention was as tight as it was didn't leave much room for Laura to think about Sakhmet, or mourn at all... or, most of all, make it clear the story (and Laura) considers her loss important and real. It's an awful sad panel at the end of the page.

Inanna's voice was easy to find again. He's such a sweetheart. Tara is a little harder, just as I wrote her less, but I've been fascinated by this arc in terms of writing her as an actual character. I think one of the ironies of issue 13 was that it put Tara on a pedestal, and the pedestal is an objectifying as any other cage. Getting her back as a character is wonderful, and she gets to be as messy and flawed as everyone else.

Inanna not knowing ANY of this is hard. That's the problem with most of this arc – there is so much information flying around, and secrets some (but not all) are aware of. Who gets to respond to what and when? What to remind people of? What to let slide? Inanna not knowing about Baal is so huge it had to be hit and hit hard.

And then... the bodies.

When plotting this and trying to work out how I could get the cast – oh god, this is not a deliberate pun, but it's also clearly a pun - back on their feet, I was thinking of the Morrigan Gambit. Three heads, three bodies. Perfect. Then I remembered Mimir, and swore. I started to think about how that would be a tense, dramatic situation and how the personal politics could play out and I realised that Tara would just turn it down. I then realised that's exactly how the scene would work too.

(In a "tightness" thing, I suspect in another world, this scene would have been two pages. The "and Tara then just butts in" is the key thing, but you could get the timing a little more intricate to sell the moment more – still, even in this page, I could have extended it more, but seeing Tara's elaboration and everyone else's response to it was just key work for them all.)

In passing – Mimir's glowing in the dark in the penultimate panel just wonderful. Nice work Jamie and Matt.

Page 13

From the Sisters of Mercy's song, Marian.

Page 14-15-16-17

Here's where you talk about spending space. What's important here? You need the scale to show what Baph has been doing – and Jamie turns it into something astoundingly gothic. The use of blacks, the use of light and shade. Just the right level of suggestive. It’s one of my favourite bits of composition in the issue.

As the pantheon are getting back together, this leads to an increase in crowd scenes, which are the eternal artist killer. As such, I'm looking for solutions which only involve the absolute minimum of the cast in a scene.

Thee was an awful moment earlier in the issue when I went – wait! Do I have too many heads to carry? Then I realised I was fine. That said, finding places to put them down so we can have chat scenes was also somewhat tricky. The shelf turning up on page 15 is an example. Clealry Baph planned to (er) have a place to keep heads.

Well, I say, Baph, but it's clearly Nergal now. The road from early Nick Cave to late Nick Cave has been a long way. It's a great shot.

To go back to the space, why spend it on this? We’re reintroducing Nergal and Morrigan, and we’re also showing the scale of them in the plot, and the actions of Nergal. Where we go with the bodies is such a big beat, it needs to come from something similarly large. That’s also the reason why so much (relative in the issue) space is spent on the Morrigan/Nergal scenes. Of course, it’s also a key scene for this subplot, so demands space for that. It’s rarely just one reason. Probably a useful time for my usual “these notes are only ever a selection of thoughts.”

This is also a serious pose panel by Jamie.

The “I could bring her back.” He’s an underworld god too. If she could do it, he could. This is something which I suspect some people thought implicit in the old scene, but the final manipulation of Morrigan is unpacked at length in the nine panel grids.

Nine panel grids are a natural rhythm for this – when I was planning the later bit the triple-goddess of it made obvious sense, so it expanded to the whole scene. Also, the cropped image reduces the possibility of a Jamie crowd scene.

I always thought that, given the amount of time the various characters get on film, Ladyhawke could more accurately be called Blokeywolf. I digress.

Page 18-19-20

As said earlier, the triple-goddess to nine panel grid is one of those natural ways to give a stress to each of the elements. You’ll notice the clicks are left then right then centre. I’d originally written it as left to right, before – after Chrissy’s Editorial urging – rewrote to end with the Macha section to go last. Gentle Annie may have been the kinder part of Morrigan, but Macha was the part he mostly dated.

Then, in a moment of weirdness, Jamie actually drew it in the original order, despite never having seen that script. Morrigan has powers, as does the logical necessity of a left to right panelling order. As a nine panel grid, just moving panels around to fix it is easy. Hail grids!

Like most of the big acts of magic, it’s all about emotional sense than anything else. Hence, it is inevitable as Nergal actually does this, the bleak temple he’s constructed starts to crumble. And, in perhaps the most ludicrous bit of me in the comic, The Temple Of Love Is Falling Down. Too much is the bare minimum.

Jamie’s triple-portrait of the Morrigan is pretty startling. I have no idea if Jamie will miss drawing Badb’s hair, but I’ll miss seeing it.

Re-reading this now I’m struck by how low-key it is. That was always part of WicDiv’s magic – the finger click, and then things happening. The Morrigan transformation was usually drawn to be instantaneous – one panel Macha, the next Badb and so on. This kind of keeps to that.

And then… the reveal. That the new bodies isn’t a splash page says everything about this issue, but it still gets the punching the air moment. We had to have one of those eventually. Lucifer in a black suit is one of the things I’ve been waiting as long to see as Nergal in his. I giggled with glee at seeing this. Jamie’s worked in elements of the Morrigan into each of the gods – Lucifer’s red hair is the most obvious one, but Gentle Annie in Inanna and Macha in Mimir also have their notes. Inanna’s netting top is the main one – and note the shapes on Mimir’s armour changing to mimic Macha’s.

Yes, writing Lucifer remains fun and easy. I recommend it to everyone.

Page 21-22

In terms of seeing chat, people responding to the small details in the issue is one of the bigger joys. That Jamie got the Inanna/Nergal hug in the background of this exchange between Laura/Lucifer/Cass is absolutely wonderful. Laura and Cass have come a long way.

This is arguably a small cliffhanger – the smallest of this arc, at least. However, it sits on the weight of the rest of the run. We’re promising a solution to one of the larger mysteries in the run, and I suspect we get by on that. Note how space is used – this is a dense panel layout, but we go to a thired of a page for Laura’s “I know how to end this” (so giving it weight” and then going to three panel page for the conclusion (which adds weight to each of these beats.) Jamie takes the framing to tight on Cass for the beat as well to sell it. Note Matt with the Norn-colouring creeping in – and how it goes from the fires in the first panel to this is just a joy.

Page 23

Interstitial, and obvious reference to the Jay-Z record, but everyone is just excitedly clapping over the adding stuff to the godwheel. Sergio outdid himself here. It’s certainly an example of how you can have storytelling and even hero-shot audience-cheers beats out of things entirely unlike a traditional comics panel. After all these issue,s we get to see something added to the godwheel. Of course people cheer. That said, as I said to a friend, “Of all the things I’ve found to torture the WicDiv readership, hope is the cruelest of all.”

EDIT: Actually, I messed up here - Jamie did the tweaks. Nice work Jamie!

And that’s it. Next up – 42, wherein questions are answered. In passing – the letters we’ve been getting are amazing. I’m going to try and cram as many as I can in the issues to come, but issue 44 will be our last one with a letters page. So that’s a timelimit if you wanna try and get in. It’s [email protected].

Thanks for reading.

#WicDiv #the wicked and the divine #writer notes

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caemthe-a · 5 years

Text

Rules Reminder!

For personal blogs ( and for everyone really ) !

- Don’t reblog my headcanons! Or any of the stuff I write here ( you know like threads you’re not included in, OOC posts, jokes / crack posts, etc., but especially not my headcanons! ). I didn’t mention it before because: a ) Never really thought anyone would want to reblog my rants; and, b ) I thought it was basic stuff for rp blogs. But, much to my surprise, it’s happening and I don’t like it. I don’t mean this in an ill-spirited manner because it’s very flattering to see others agree with the bullshit I throw here at 2am but... the reason why I don’t like it when others reblog my headcanons is that: a ) It messes up my notifications, that I use to keep track of threads and other stuff here. This is very important to me because this is an rp blog! b ) It brings me unwanted attention because not everyone that reads my headcanons are gonna like or agree with them ( which is fine! ). And sometimes some of them can be pretty mean when expressing their distaste or ask for proofs, evidence, sources, etc. to back up the stuff I’ve written and, honestly... ( I’m too old for that stuff ) I’m not here to make a statement or start debates, I just want to mind my own business, roleplay and have fun!

I don’t want to block anybody if possible so I would be really grateful if personal blogs stopped reblogging my headcanons ;0c

For other rp blogs!

- Don’t use me as a source for memes / musings / aesthetic ( please? ) I usually don’t mind it but it’s been happening so much lately that it’s become hard to ignore. Especially when it’s a day after day thing. It doesn’t take much time or effort to reblog something from the source. And, let’s be honest, no one likes it when another blog uses you as an aesthetic, memes, whatever source. Especially not when the other person has little to no interest to rp with you.

- If you want to turn an ask into a thread, do it on a new post! More than the #aesthetic, I don’t like it when threads stay on an ask because it becomes too confusing for me ( please understand that I’ve one brain cell! ) and it can turn very long. I’m sorry but I won’t reply to threads that are continued on the same ask.

- Don’t spam me! For spam, I mean doing things like replying IC in all of the IC and OOC things I post here, constantly sending me reminders or sending IC posts about the same thing over and over again. It feels very guilt-trippy for me and instead of making me want to rp with you more or reply faster to a thread I’m owning, it just causes the opposite. Please don’t do that.

Other important stuff!

- I headcanon my muse as TRANS ( FTM ). Alright, so this isn’t exactly a rule(?), but it’s an important part of my portrayal. And it’s nothing new. It’s a headcanon that I’ve had since I first got into fate ( so don’t ask me to change it??? I don’t know why I’m asked that... ) and it’s been written at the top of my rules page since day one ( 1 ). ‘Why do you headcanon Proto Cú as trans?’ So I already mentioned here that I believe that Cú Chulainn was highly trans-coded in his myth due to how he’s described and how different events in his life happened. BUT I would love it if people stopped asking me for my arguments on this matter because it feels really odd to be asked for 'valid evidence’ for that headcanon ( n.n’ ) I mean... I never see anyone asking for the same stuff to muns of cisgender muses or cisswapped muses so I can’t help it but feel a bit weirded out when I’m asked for these ‘proofs’.

* BTW, if you didn’t know until now that I headcanon Proto Cú as trans, I would prefer it if you don’t act surprised nor reply to this post with things like ‘I didn’t know!!!′ because like I’ve written in the paragraph above, it’s been written in my rules page since day one ( 1 ). So if you’re only aware of it now, it will most likely mean that you didn’t read my rules page, which is kind of not cool dude... And as someone who always reads other rp blogs rules + about page before pressing that +follow button... I don’t know, it feels bad man.

- Please don’t send me very insensitive jokes / asks / etc. !*** I don’t mind it when other muses are huge assholes to mine, I actually think it’s really fun and love it! And I love writing Cú getting feisty or coming up with a witty remark! But I think that the line between having your muse act like a disrespectful little shit and the kind of comments that would get you punched in the face if you ever were to say stuff like that out loud is very defined. This is not a rule and I’m not saying your muse can’t throw the problematicTM stuff at mine. But just wanted to let others know that, one, my muse will act accordingly, two, I’ve got no intention of holding him back, but, three, those types of asks / replies get tiring and boring real fast so it’s unlikely I’ll reply to them.

Thank you for reading!

#[ ooc: did I say I love protopupper? ]#/ important!#/ i wanted to keep this post simple but it got pretty long in the end :0c #/ sorry at everyone writing at me rn! my activity timeline is a mess and i'm trying to organize things over here a little >.< !

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lesbian-janai · 5 years

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I in no way mean in this in any sort of mean spirited way, people are allowed to like and dislike whatever characters they want but I’m just genuinely curious... why don’t you like tony stark? And what makes him a bad parental figure to peter? I agree with you on the aunt May thing, it kinda gets on my nerves when people are like peter is TONYS SON like he doesn’t already have parental figures. But I still think he’s a good character and just wondering about your opinion I guess.

Alright this is gonna be long and it’s full of negativity so if anyone sees this and you don’t want to see negativity about t*ny st*rk please scroll past this (i will also be censoring his name to keep it out of the search) I also want to make it clear that this is all my own opinion. If you like t*ny, that’s great! I’m not gonna try to change your views or anything. I’m just going to explain why I personally don’t like him. Also, if anyone sees this and gets mad or defensive or anything, please don’t try to start an argument. This is all just my personal opinion. (p.s. Some endgame spoilers ahead)

Now that that’s all out of the way, I’m going to split this into two parts: why I don’t like t*ny in general (i’m basically going to go through each movie and pointing out things he’s done that make me dislike him) and why I think he’s a bad father figure/mentor to peter. I’m gonna be using a lot of strong language, since that’s just how i am when i talk about things i feel strongly about, so just be warned for some cussing and yelling and stuff like that

Why i don’t like T*ny in general. First of all, I really like t*ny in the first avengers movie and in the i.m. trilogy. It’s only from a.o.u. And beyond that i really dislike him. A big factor that goes into this is the fact that he gets too much attention and seems to take the spotlight from other characters in every movie he’s in. I know people love ir*n m*n, but there’s a point when you start to get tired of the same character taking the front of a movie that’s supposed to be shared between multiple characters. He had 3 whole movies to set up his character and go through several arcs, yet he still gets a huge part in every avengers movie while other characters like nat and clint are shoved to the side. I wouldn’t mind him having large roles in the avengers movies as much if the character screen times split evenly amongst the main avengers, but the avengers movies never really felt like avengers movies. They always felt like “t*ny st*rk and some other superheroes you might know” movies. even outside of the avengers movies he gets more screen time than necessary. Ca:cw for instance. He got half the screen time, and had more speaking lines than the title character. Ca:cw was supposed to be a captain america movie, not an avengers movie, and because t*ny was shoved in that movie, steve had a less satisfying character arc in his final movie. This is all marvel’s fault, of course, i mean it’s not like t*ny can control what movies he’s in, but when you always see the same character be the forefront of every single movie while all of your favorite characters get shoved to the side, you start to dislike that character.

Now on to the movies! I disliked him in a.o.u., but i’m not gonna talk about a.o.u. all that much since i honestly don’t remember that much from it and a lot of things i disliked about him in that movie are brought up in other movies. I’m gonna start off with civil war, since that’s the movie that pretty much solidified my dislike for him. So now i’m gonna point out some things in civil war that t*ny did that made me dislike him. I’m not going to go through every little thing he did, just the major ones.

1. That whole guilt-trippy speech he did to get the other avengers to sign the accords. He used a kid that died during the ultron attack to guilt the other avengers when it was all t*ny’s fault in the first place, he’s the one who built ultron, therefore he’s the one responsible for any death or damage that ultron caused, not any of the other avengers who were just trying to clean up t*ny’s mess. He also acted like none of the other avengers cared about the people who died in sokovia, including wanda, who freaking lived there and probably knew a lot of people who died there, not to mention her own fucking twin brother died in ultron’s attack and you have the gall to act like she doesn’t care???? what the fuck t*ny!!!!! Guilt tripping on its own is a horrible thing to do, but to use your own mistake as a tool to guilt trip other people when they were just trying to clean up your mess is just disgusting.

2. Shooting sam point blank in the chest after he tried to save rhodey. Every time i think about this scene it makes my blood boil. Sam was chasing after rhodey, and then t*ny told vision to shoot sam, but sam ducked out of the way, causing vision to hit rhodey instead and destroy his suit. Rhodey started falling to the ground, and sam dived down to try in rescue him, but he didn’t reach rhodey in time. T*ny goes over to rhodey, who is unconscious and injured, and sam comes up next to him and says, “i’m sorry.” you wanna know what t*ny does next? He fucking shoots sam in the chest!!!!! So hard that he freaking flips back and passes out!!!!! The man just tried to save your best friend and you fucking shoot him????? What the fuck!!!!! Sam deserved so much better than that. It’s just… such a horrible thing to do. To just shoot someone in the chest after they tried to save your friend. What the fuck.

3. trying to kill bucky. I do understand that he was extremely upset after finding out that the winter soldier killed his parents and he was kind of mentally unstable, but bucky was a brainwashed prisoner of war who had no choice in what he did. t*ny knew that bucky was brainwashed and had no choice of his own, but he still tried to kill him!!! Like… i understand why t*ny tried to kill him, but that doesn’t make it any less okay to try to kill an innocent man. this is more me having a problem with the writing than with t*ny himself, since i truly don’t believe t*ny would try to murder an innocent man after finding out he was brainwashed into killing his parents. t*ny’s a smart guy and he should’ve been able to realize that bucky wasn’t the one who killed his parents, hydra was, but regardless, the writers made him try to kill bucky and i don’t like it.

I think that’s all with civil war, now onto infinity war! (i’m skipping sm:hc because i’ll talk about that movie in the why t*ny is a bad mentor segment): there’s much less I have a problem with here since most of my dislike for t*ny comes from civil war. This movie didn’t really make me dislike him any more than i already did, but it didn’t make me like him either. The main problem i have here is how he refused to call steve after bruce told him about thanos. Like, the world is ending dude. There’s a man coming to destroy the world and you need all the help you can get, yet you refuse to call steve because of a personal problem? Like… i do understand his hesitance, but if you can’t call steve maybe give the phone to bruce or dr. strange so they can call steve instead. Stopping thanos is more important than your personal problems with steve.

Alright now on to endgame (spoilers ahead beware) this is sort of the same with infinity war, in which it didn’t make me dislike t*ny any more than i already did but it didn’t make me like him either. I also have more of a problem with the writing than anything that t*ny does himself. (except for the part where he’s like “you weren’t there when i needed you, steve!” like… you’re the one who refused to call him… it’s not steve’s fault you didn’t call him…) The main thing i have a problem with is the fact that he’s the one who got to kill thanos instead of nebula. Nebula has been through hell because of thanos, he abused her, tortured her, tore her apart, nobody deserved to kill thanos more than her. And yet… because t*ny is so much more important than anyone else apparently, he’s the one who killed thanos, taking away what could’ve been a great character moment for nebula and giving it to t*ny who really didn’t need it. I would’ve been fine if t*ny still got to be the one who stopped thanos’ army and still got his sacrificing moment if nebula still got to kill thanos instead of him, but nope! That’s not what happened! Also the fact that t*ny got this big emotional funeral while nat got nothing, you can just tell that marvel cares more about their male superheroes than their female superheroes. Again, i don’t really have a problem with anything t*ny himself did (except for what he said to steve at the beginning) just the fact that marvel cares more about him than any other superhero makes me really dislike him. (also, kind of unrelated but it makes me really uncomfortable when people call t*ny nebula’s dad/nebula t*ny’s daughter. It just seems infantilizing to me. She’s a grown ass woman, she doesn’t need a dad.)

So basically the reason why i dislike t*ny st*rk in general is because marvel focuses way too much on him to the point where i’m just tired of seeing him. They give him the spotlight even though they could shine some light on some underdeveloped characters instead. They care more about him than any of the other superheroes, especially the female superheroes. Then there’s the way he acts in civil war, the way he tries to guilt trip the avengers using his own mistake, the way he shoots sam in the chest for no reason, the way he tries to kill bucky, an innocent man who was brainwashed into doing terrible things and t*ny knew that. And the characterization that i dislike about him in cw makes its way into other movies, furthering my dislike of him. Basically just… erase civil war t*ny out of existence and maybe i’ll like him. In fact, erase all of civil war out of existence. Give steve the cap 3 movie he deserves.

Alright, now onto why i think t*ny is a horrible mentor/father figure! Let’s start with civil war. First of all, it’s kind of questionable how t*ny decided to bring a 14/15 year old to germany, illegally, and have him fight, illegally, against a bunch of superpowered people who are way more skilled and better trained than he is. There’s also the fact that he basically manipulated him (steve: you don’t know what’s going on. Peter: st*rk told me you’d say that. Steve: what else did he tell you? Peter: that you’re wrong, and you think you’re right. And that makes you dangerous. That’s manipulation, folks!) so basically, t*ny manipulated a 14/15 year old into coming to germany and having him fight in a battle he knew nothing about, all of which was illegal. (the reason i’m so adamant about the illegal part is because in ca:cw t*ny was all about following the law, which makes him seem like a hypocrite when he breaks the law)There’s also the fact that he made fun of peter’s home-made suit, which is a pretty dick move (more on that later). This is not a good start to their relationship

Now onto sm:hc, which doesn’t do t*ny any favors. So basically, t*ny has been ignoring peter for weeks, more dick moves, and when peter warns him about possible danger, t*ny brushes him off. When peter goes out to deal with the problem himself, because the responsible adult he contacted brushed him off, t*ny gets mad at him and says “who do you think sent the fbi?” as if peter had any way of knowing he was gonna take care of it. t*ny then takes away the suit he made for him, which brings me back to my point in ca:cw about how shitty it was of him to make fun of peter’s suit. (peter: i’m spiderman. t*ny: not in that onesie you’re not. Peter, later: i’m nothing without this suit! t*ny: if you’re nothing without this suit then you don’t deserve to wear it) you can’t make fun of a kid’s homemade suit and think it amounts to anything. t*ny made peter dependent on the suit because t*ny himself said “you’re not spiderman with the suit you made yourself” and then you take it away and act like he doesn’t deserve the suit???? What the fuck!!!! There’s also the creepy way he talks about aunt may. Joking or not, you should ever say inappropriate things about a kid’s aunt right in front of him.

So basically the reason i think t*ny is a bad mentor/father figure towards peter is because he manipulated him into fighting for him illegally, ignores peter, brushes off his concerns, made fun of his homemade suit, and then took the “better” suit away from him after one mistake, which happened due to the aforementioned ignoring and brushing off of his concerns. I do admit their relationship gets better in a:iw and a:e, but it’s not enough to make me change my mind about him being a bad mentor/father figure

Alright i think that’s it. I didn’t mention everything, juse the major things. Anyways, that’s why i don’t like t*ny st*rk and why i think he’s a bad mentor/father figure towards peter. Thank you for asking! I know this is long, but i hope you can read it or at least get the gist of it.

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grumpygayming · 6 years

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So obviously you should do those questions for matt and wren bc you wnt to so once you get time you should do it

You & I are on the same page lmao, I was gonna answer these whether asked or not tbh. SO thank you for sending this & giving me an excuse to post them 😂🤗Are they physically affectionate? Matt: Very much so, he loves little contact like hand holding or brushing their arms together while they’re out. And when his boyfriend drives he always puts his hand on his thigh, just because.Wren: The clingiest lil shit alive. He’s always hugging his partner from behind while they’re doing stuff and he whines about not getting enough attention if they’re in his general vicinity & not hugging him or anything (if they’re not busy of course).

🎶Do they have a type? Matt: Tall, long hair, some visible facial hair, & brown skin... Clearly he dates outside of that but in his ideal world if their personality aligned with his... that is who he’d be with.Wren: Anyone he deems cute and able to cuddle him, that’s his type.

😡What are their deal breakers? Matt: Dislikes kids, has no ambition, can’t communicate properly. It’s why he dates so little, he’s found at least everyone has one of these qualities and he has to work with them on it or just walk away.Wren: Non commitment (refusing to label things or admit to feelings), not being upfront. He’s had enough of it and if there’s even the slightest hint at either of those things he’s out.

↕️Are they sub, dom or switch? Matt: Definitely a switch.Wren: The subbiest sub to ever sub.

⏰How long do their relationships tend to last? Matt: A year+, his shortest relationship was 3 mos and that only ended because of extenuating circumstances, otherwise they probably would have went for the long haul and gotten married.Wren: Not long at all, Wren is a fan of flings and living in the moment so short term relationships are his game while he’s young.

💍Would they ever get married? Matt: Yes, he wants that so badly not only for himself but for his son too. He wants his conventional family, with a picket fence, and a dog more than anything. It represents stability to him which he hasn’t had much of his entire adult life and he needs for his son to see what a stable, healthy family structure looks like.Wren: He can’t see it right now but he would love to get married before thirty if the opportunity arose. Otherwise he’s perfectly happy dating for the time being.

🏷️Do they give their partners cute nicknames? Matt: Yes!!! Silas has many, Matty’s favorites for him are Snugglebutt & Flapjack. In secret he calls him Dummy though, affectionately about 90% of the time.Wren: He’s pretty basic and sticks to babe/baby. He doesn’t stick around long enough for personalized nicknames most of the time.

💋Are they more sensual or sexual? Matt: More sensual, for sure. Wren: Sexual, completely.

📖What is their favorite outside of the bedroom activity to do with their partner?Matt: When the weather permits or they’re visiting his home town in Hawaii, walks on the beach. He’s also a fan of dates to coffee shops they haven’t been to before and ordering drinks specific to the shop. Wren: He’s super simple and loves watching reality TV with his partners, especially if they’re into it too. And after each episode He likes to critique everyone over wine and takeout.

🛏What is their favorite bedroom activity to do with their partner? Matt: He really loves getting lingerie and showing it off, what follows after is fine and dandy but he really enjoys the process of getting dressed up and then seeing his boyfriend’s reaction.Wren: [Redacted bc Wren is gross]

💚Are they prone to jealousy? Matt: Not really, if he feels the emotion he’ll acknowledge it, try to figure out what the root of it is and move on. Wren: Yes, very much so. He’ll try to push it aside but he hates feeling like he’s coming in 2nd to his partner(s). [He will eventually grow out of this but he’s currently learning how to deal with it.]

😘Does their demeanor change when in a relationship? Matt:Outwardly he seems a lot grumpier... which isn’t entirely wrong. When he’s still getting used to a new partner it throws him a bit off of his usual balance and it irritates him. He also hates sharing personal details... like the fact that he is even dating someone so when the time comes to be public he seems irritated and angry for quite awhile. Wren: He is giddy as hell and everything is a ray of sunshine when he has a partner. He loves romantic love and wants everyone else to have it and love it too. This lasts for basically as long as he’s with his partner too.

👫Do they display affection in public? What about in private? Matt: Hand holding but he gets flustered about anything more than that or maybe kisses on the cheek in public. Whereas in private he’ll gladly sit on his boyfriends lap and give him all the kisses he could want.Wren: He loves pda, so much. All of the kisses in public and hand holding, all of it, he wants everyone to know he’s taken and in love. In private.... he’s even more intense about this.

💕Are they open to threesomes or a polyamorous relationship? Matt: He’s not really open to causal threesomes, however, if the circumstances for a polyamorous relationship arose and he approved of the third party he would be willing to give it an honest shot.Wren: He loves the thought of threesomes and poly relationships. He’s not sure how he’d actually fare with multiple partners who were also involved with each other but the idea of having different types of love with different people and caring for them in his own way is so appealing to him.

💔Do they have a certain type of person they will not enter into a relationship with? Matt: 85% of the human population. He’s really particular and needs to get to know a person before even considering them as a potential partner. If he couldn’t befriend them, he wouldn’t date them. So, anyone who is guilt trippy, cannot be held accountable for their actions, dodges adult conversations, etc. could not be someone he would date. Wren: Not really, he’s fairly open, so long as they like animals and can deal with him yelling at the TV during movies they’ve got a chance.

💝How long until they feel secure and comfortable in a relationship? Matt: This is bad but...... Never? He’ll always have this slight sense of uncertainty and be prepared to have to detach and leave. It’s a side effect of the relationship that he got his son out of. He may be comfortable with his partner but security isn’t something he’s been accustomed to and it’ll take a long time for that to be the case.Wren: He doesn’t stay long enough for security but comfort comes easy for him. So long as they don’t seem violent he can be comfortable int he span of a couple weeks.

🤐Would they ever confess their feelings first? Matt: He’s usually the one to do so. Once he’s sure he wants to act on them he’ll let the other person know how he feels and let them know exactly why.Wren: He will but he much prefers the other person making him feel wanted and confessing their feelings first.

❌Would they ever cheat on their partner?Matt: Never, ever, ever. He would sooner break things off than cheat and ruin their sense of trust in any relationships after theirs.Wren: He would say no but if he were stuck in what felt like a loveless relationship he would be the first to step outside of it for some from of happiness/a simulation of true love & affection.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦Do they want children? Matt: He’s already got a son but he wants more later on. Kids are a rough topic for him at the moment since he miscarried in September and he’s still recovering from it. Wren: He needs at least one daughter so that he can honor Maxine Shaw and name his child after her. So, yes, he wants kids.

🐶Are they a cuddler?Matt: Very much so, not necessarily for the sake of cuddling but because he’s cold all the time, he leeches body heat off of his partner.Wren: Yes! He loves the contact and being held brings him such comfort.

🔮Do they believe in soul mates? Matt: Not necessarily. He thinks people can be compatible for each other and work well together but the concept of one singular soul mate or “the one” is absolutely ridiculous to him.Wren: Yes, however, he believes you can have multiple soul mates depending on the time and space you’re in. Your soul mate may change, hence why he’s not in any rush to settle down.

⚔️ Are they protective of their partner? Matt: Super protective. He’s ready to fight over anyone disrespecting his boyfriend or hurting his feelings. He’s not afraid to actually stand up for him and get involved either. (Though, online stuff is different. If on the twittersphere someone is being a dick his go to response is: “Baby, they aren’t important. Ignore them.”)Wren: Extremely. If someone even looks at his partner wrong he’s ready to take his earrings off and beat their ass.

🚀 How far are they willing to go for the person they love? Matt: All they way to Canada. Any further and they can fuck right off. Jokes aside, so long as it won’t negatively impact his son or his own mental health he will move mountains for his partner.Wren: It truly depends on how long they’ve been together and how committed they are.

❤️ Do they fall in love easily? Matt: Not even close, he’s so guarded that he’ll even second guess his feelings when they start getting more intense.Wren: Yes, too easily for his own good.

📺 Do they share information about their relationships freely with friends and family? Matt: Not even. His parents and childhood best friend get details & information but with newer friends (even of years) he will give them the bare minimum. Even then it’s a stretch, he waited a whole month to even tell his friends his ex-boyfriend’s name.Wren: Yep, as said before... he loves love. He feels like sharing all the cute little details of his relationships may inspire his friends/family to get out there themselves.

♦️Are they concerned with the social status of their partner? Matt: Nope, so long as they are doing things with their life and self improving he doesn’t care about their social status at all. Wren: Ashamedly so, if they don’t have some kind of impressive title or a reputation in their field chances are he’s not going to get very far into a relationship with them. Though, they could become a regular on his hook-up list.

💭 Do they tend to sleep better when in bed with their partner?Matt: No, he’s gotten so used to sleeping alone that now sharing a bed with his boyfriend is a major adjustment. He does enjoy cuddling but he finds it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep now.Wren: Yep, he loves the contact and having someone else there makes it much easier for him to relax and fall asleep.

#I'll add pictures later maybe.#char stuff #A read more too. it's 3am so.... this is how its stayin rn #simshodo

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yamlog · 3 years

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before february comes

ok so like, it is one thing to know about smth hurtful when it has just happened but it is A COMPLETELY OTHER THING ALTOGETHER to be asked about it by someone who for some reason, thought that you knew all along all these months WHEN YOU DIDN’T. and why would i? did i not say many many times that i am NOT going to keep up? i am actively avoiding, i am keeping my feed clean and free from distractions, i NEVER look at my explore page except to follow very specific hashtags. i have been PROTECTING my peace of mind and sanity with all my energy and effort for like, what, 1.5 years. for good reason. and then to be asked (borderline informed) something so PREPOSTEROUS. do you know how sick i felt when i heard? i was trying to work and it became impossible because my brain was so confused i started feeling nauseas. i had to skip dinner and immediately take action instead of letting that horrible feeling burrow deeper into my chest. i didn’t even have to see anything in person. people sent me screenshots, telling me that they will look at it on my behalf and i shouldn’t go and see. and that’s not even the worst thing. the worst thing is all the consolation messages that came from SO MANY DIFFERENT PEOPLE later on, coming out and confessing and saying they knew and they suspected but they didn’t want to tell me because they knew i’d be shocked and disgusted and upset and they wanted to protect me from the news because i was trying to pass practicum. and i love them for that, i really do. my friends really just do want the best for me and they are not willing to start a war or actively do anything, but they do care enough to message me in private to share their thoughts on the matter. i got so many ‘i saw her story and i was so surprised,” “it’s such a shady thing to do,” and “what is she trying to prove.” then of course there were people who were very critical of the presentation and how it seems deliberately designed to mislead. and when i clarified, it just made everyone even more confused. ‘huh, if not dating then why she post as if they were’ ‘need to tag meh’ ‘she tag for who to see’ ‘is she trying to show off got a guy wait for her to end work and take many pictures of her on their dates? and then must tag the guy so everyone can see who it is even though he’s not inside?’ ‘how come her username is like a copy of your tinycl0ud’ (lmao i wish i knew the answer to this one but at this point is anyone surprised? no.) ‘is it she want his dick’ ‘dating or not dating it’s very obvious she has interest’ etc etc

so here are MY thoughts, after having talked to practically everyone in my life about it. my thoughts reflect most of what others think. i am trying to be conscious of the fact that i’m still too emotional to really formulate my own opinion, and so of course it is easier to mirror and receive the opinions of those around me. but i think until i can finish processing, i am okay with received feelings.

number one: indignation. because Yes, why the fuck even do this? sg is so fucking big and full of other men. if you want a bf or new friends it’s so easy to find. must go after your ex-friend’s ex-partner? the rest of the sg don’t have men isit? you won’t be happy unless you get to experience that which you have always envied in me isit? you tag, knowing full well that people in MY life still follow and EVERYONE knows what he looks like and who he is. so what is the fucking intention? to show that someone finds you attractive enough to take photos of you? you know, quite a few people have pointed out to me the fact that i used to be the frequent subject of his phone camera (i am grateful but i have also thankfully moved on), and that maybe you have always envied it, and now that it’s your turn you’re revelling. ppl take picture of you like you always wanted, ok good for you, but must tag to make sure everyone knows exactly who did it? so everyone knows you hang out? or maybe date? because who else would wait for you to end your shift and buy you drinks but someone you’re romantically involved with. and you tag so everyone knows it’s a guy, and it’s THAT particular guy. gross and pathetic. which brings me to the next point.

number two: disdain and disgust. why hanker after someone’s ex?? i really don’t get it. was it because on my private twitter i said that i enjoyed myself and he treated me well, so now she has it in her head that she wants the same treatment? a normal human being doesn’t do that. in fact, i have read her tweets about how much she enjoyed having sex with the guy from tinder she had a fling with, with very lengthy descriptions of his dick size and texture, and not once did i feel the need to go and experience it for myself. because there’s this thing called girl code, on top of basic human decency. normal people DON’T hanker after their friends’ exes, even after friendship ends. MORE THAN ONE EX TOO. normal people also don’t tweet stupid shit like ‘every time julian took public transport and waited outside studio i felt so envious because ___ never did that for me, even though he had a motorcycle and could go anywhere, which makes me wonder if i’m not worth being loved.’ LIKE UM OK HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME FEEL, reading something so MANIPULATIVE AND GUILT-TRIPPY ON TWITTER DOT COM. julian wasn’t a great ex (or even a great person) but he did occasionally do nice things, and you romanticise the ONE thing to the point of comparing it with your own lacking relationship?? red flag. and then when i have another ex, you hanker after what he represents once again, which is good treatment. well idk what to say but people i date generally treat me well sometimes. and the common factor here is obviously me. so even if you date the same guys i date it doesn’t mean?? u will be treated the same way?????? just a thought. it is truly extremely pathetic to hang onto hope that this Perfect Idealised Boyfriend On A Pedestal could someday be yours if you just wait long enough. you waited 2 years for your RC ex and he still dumped you for a virginal year 1. i hate him on your behalf, and never in a million years would i consider wanting him, no matter how attractive or charismatic he is. simply because, even though i hate you, i will NOT touch your exes that I KNOW FULL WELL have hurt you.

number three: anger. i don’t hate people. not really. like i don’t think i’ve ever hated anyone enough to wish they’d die a horrible and gruesome death. but the past two days i have felt anger so big it felt like my entire chest was on fire and if i screamed it would come out like a blowtorch. i wanted to take my new ceramic knife and saw off her fingers one by one and then grate her stupid ugly nose off. that was for a moment, and the moment has passed. but i don’t think the hatred will. i can very confidently say that, at least for the next two weeks or so, i will hate her enough to risk damnation. because she IS fucking despicable. and now i guess everyone knows it too.

there was a moment when i wondered why i was so stricken. i spoke to a friend to try to figure it out. i asked her, why am i so bothered. is it because if he dates her after dumping me it means that she’s better than me and that’s what i can’t stand? or is it because he actively makes time to meet her but not me, so on some level he actually does prefer her to me? then my friend said that she doesn’t think that’s the case, and that he probably can meet her PRECISELY because he doesn’t have romantic feelings and he won’t get entangled. additionally, she also reminded me that just because one man, even my ex that i loved deeper than anyone else, chooses her over me, it doesn’t mean his opinion is god’s opinion (or even a wise/informed one) and therefore it is fallacious to jump to the conclusion that he is right and that she IS better or that she has ‘won’. i added to that and said that yes, people are not prizes to begin with anyway. and yes, one man’s judgment does not determine my worth. another friend just said, very bluntly, that his initial thought was ‘let the trash take the trash out’. im still not okay with someone i still love being called trash because like, hello my feelings, but i understand his sentiments lah.

no matter how i rationalise it, i guess it does hurt that he’d spend time with her but not once try to spend time with me. i’d make all the time, i honestly would. and i have endless reserves of care and attention and i feel like over time my capacity just increases, even with the new job and the new charges. but i also know that i never had any power in this relationship. i can’t make the first move, i can’t ask for anything, i will never call the shots because it’s imbalanced from the beginning. so if he doesn’t care to meet me but cares enough about HER to meet HER then what can i do? nothing. just accept it like a horrible itchy clothing tag giving you a rash but u can’t exactly strip down bc ur in public. maybe over time he will start to think that she is right for him, she can make him happy, she is his soulmate. she will have won, my friends’ predictions will be right, i will have been wrong about his character, and once again there will be nothing i can do.

maybe it’s better that he cares so little for me he doesn’t even want to see me at all. because i don’t think my feelings have gone away. it’s magnetic. like an orbital pull. and i know that if i get a little bit i will just want all of it. it was hard enough to pull away the last time and pretend i had to go and pretend i was fine. so if he doesn’t want me in his orbit, maybe it’s actually god’s blessing in disguise and god is trying to tell me that it’s better to be untethered in space than it is to be attached to someone who doesn’t even love me. better to be unhappy on my own than believe i’m happy with someone who doesn’t want me right???

serenity prayer: grant me the serenity to accept that which i cannot change, the courage to change that which i can, and the wisdom to tell the difference.

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darby-drabbles · 7 years

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Yesterday on twitter I asked for questions from this post,,, specifically for Andre just because, I wanted to talk about him? Feel free to ask me Even More!!! For Andre or other ocs from his story or anyone, I don’t mind. I feel like it’s been a while since I’ve done oc talk so it was good to get back into it. A few questions asked by both @duck-n-clover and @agentchimendez Thank you so much!

4. Has your character ever witnessed experienced something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?

(“witnessed” seemed different from “experience” and I just couldn’t think of a witness thing for some reason so I CHanged it to have an actual answer.. IT Is more serious tho now so.. LETs see.)

In general,, he always felt second best compared to his sister and that shaped SO MUCH of what he’s done. Whether it was trying so hard to succeed, overworking and feeling horrible when he failed,, or when he started his intense Rebellious Phase in protest. Sibling favoritism shaped him to crave attention no matter how he got it. And YEAh, people know. He definitely talks about/complains/has breakdowns about not feeling good enough or his family often enough so all his friends know that that’s why he’s Like This sometimes. It only really comes up with his family in the form of snappy angery comments so they get kind of brushed off as Andre being moody AGaiN.

“Adopting” the droid changes him, for the better! (eventually..) He’s reluctant to care for her at first,, he’s a bit, impatient and short-tempered with her? and kinda in general, actually. And since he doess end up messing her up/can’t fix the glitches she had, he feels guilty and like a bit of a failure again. But he also eventually gets more patient, starts to open up more, and meets/becomes closer to people because of her! He’s happier.. Delilah is a very good droid daughter whom he loves and owes a lot to. He might not specifically talk about it too often,, but,,, I think people can tell he’s doing better now because of her.

To get even more serious now, sorry, TW for sexual abuse. I’ve talked about it before so I’m not gonna get too into it, (just the next paragraph, the rest are his reactions to it) you could read more of the details here. (the last question) Skip or read as much as you feel comfortable with, I don’t talk abt anything else until the next question.

He met an older man through his sister and saw him at the bar once. The guy started talking to Andre because he was familiar~ (he also knew Andre snuck in and wasn’t 21 yet and probably had drugs on him 🙃 He holds that against him later.) They go back to this guys place, blow each other. It was an okay little fling at first,, Andre wouldn’t have found the guy memorable. They lay in bed a while until Andre says he wants to go home,,, guy says he still wants to fuck or at least get another bj. Andre refuses but he pins him down and basically did a whole guilt trippy “who are people gonna believe?? you’re a druggy delinquent sneaking into bars to get blowjobs” speech. This guy definitely has a Good Guy image with a lot of people INCluding Andre’s sister Zahra, so Andre figured he was right. They’d believe this guy first, and wouldn’t be on Andre’s side because he’s Always Like This. Acting out and sleeping around and not being in the best situations. “This is all you’re good for.” 🙃 And Andre ‘low self-esteem’ *last name* UH. Totally believes that and feels pretty worthless, unfortunately, and blows him so he can just go home. He was pretty rough with him, which Andre normally likes, so he felt pretty, weird, about that for a while. Andd so he gets it over with and just, tries to go home. The man still teases him a bit trying to get him to stay but he’s very much over this guy and is ready to sleep and shower already.

~~ It makes him angry and defensive for a while and his drug use spikes, he feels used and worthless and gets Even More Self Destructive and a bit destructive in general. He says it wasn’t a big deal, it didn’t affect him he’s fine,, because he wants to avoid it, but it clearly obviously affects him for a while. He’s mad that it happened to him. He does eventually get help for that which in turn helps with stopping the drug use for coping and, that’s goood. He still sometimes insists it wasn’t a big deal it could’ve been worse, but he’ll get upset over it too.

He wouldn’t tell a lot of people, Evelyn and Kriss would know. Avery and Nicki might.. But Evelyn was the only one who knew him at the time, she was one of his few friends, and they’re really close. He goes to her really upset about it soon after it happened. He doesn’t explicitly tell her what happened but it’s sort of implied and she understands. He does tell her later, after the whole thing has calmed down and the memory and trauma isn’t as fresh,, she was a good friend through it and he wanted her to know what was wrong.

He’d tell his more serious partners which would really only be Kriss? (plus maybe some mix n match in that ship/au Perhaps) It happened before dating Nicki, but I don’t think* he would’ve told her just because he still hadn’t really dealt with those emotions himself yet? And their relationship was pretty quick and intense already. Like they’re friends again now but I don’t think they get tooo deep into emotional stuff often anymore. I think he’d want to explain and apologize for some of his actions including the drug use, so he’d find a way to tip toe around the topic a bit?? But probably wouldn’t tell her details. Avery is another of his closer friends and I feel like they vent to each other sometimes, it’s possible that he told them something about it.

*I mentioned in the other post that Nicki might know,, but I’m leaning more to her not knowing now, so, updated info I Guess.

His sister knows he slept with the man but Andre wanted to drop that conversation REal Quick.

5. On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?

Whats! In! His! Bag!

There’s the obvious, phone wallet and keys,, spare change. Maybe a pack of gum or a peppermint or someth. A band aid, jic. He’ll bring earbuds if he knows he’ll be alooone and get to listen to music. (I couldn’t find it by itself but the very first vine in this video Is Andre walking down the street. .. Bouncin’ around..) Occasionally, a pocket knife,, maybe a lighter. He doesn’t smoke often anymore but still nice to have. Uhh that’s all I can think of. Pretty Simple. (in baby au he has a bag so he can carry So Much Junk and snacks and toys and just. Anything.)

6. Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?

He kinda rarely has memorable dreams, and I don’t think there’s a ton of recurring themes in them? Maybeb a few Anxiety dream thoughts but they’re probably different from each other,, or at least not repeated often enough to notice. ‘OH my teeth fell out This TIme,, last time I just showed up to class naked. That’s fine I guess.’

I think he gets that *feels like you’re falling so you jerk awake really suddenly* feeling kinda often though.

8. Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?

I haven’t thought about this?? But no I donn’t thiink so, he’s not a gun guy. If anything he only would’ve been practicing shooting at targets or cans, something like that.

10. Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?

More often than not,, less clothing. 👀 To an extent. But, probably when he was younger it would be more clothing bc he was hiding things and felt guarded and comfortable in layers of clothe. How could someone suspect ur on drugs and bruisey from fights and not eating enough if they can’t see your body at all, hmm??? Check, Mate

16. Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?

HMm this is a tough one. I mean I wanna say happiness but he doesn’t actually seek that out for himself for A While, and for a long time he kind of struggles with the need to prove himself and show that he’s good enough and not a failure. Sometimes he’s trying to succeed in something that would make his family happy and other times it’s trying to prove it to himself. So when he’s younger I’ll say success, but currently, happiness.

45. What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?

One of his grandmother’s died when he was prettyy young and so death was explained in a very,, kid friendly way and + his lil imagination, I think that stuck with him?? They weren’t a particularly spiritual family, they probably said something like, she won’t come back but she’ll always be with you,,, like,,, in your thoughts and in ur heart but he was an imaginative easily spooked kid and kinda took that to mean Ghost. OBVIously…. But that’s not what they meant… That kinda freaked him out as a kid, he didn’t want A Ghost followin him???? Not even a nice gramma-ghost, no way. That’s a haunting! SPooky???? His parents eventually had to explain that no she’s not a ghost she’s just,,, not here any more. But I think he was already pretty set on these thoughts and the thought of not existing anymore At All seemed even scarier tbh? But he did get more comfortable with,, if there was a gramma-ghost,, then she would be nice like gramma.

But he still kinda, believes in ghosts and spirits in some way more than anything,, like your spirit or energy might stick around somewhere familiar or someone you love perhaps. He’s never really had a ghostly experience to back up these thoughts, though, and he sometimes doubts if that’s really what will happen. Maybe reincarnation, maybe u just blink out of existence, he doesn’t know. His afterlife beliefs don’t scare him per say, but I don’t think he’s really comforted by it, either. Death in general scares him a little, so he Tries Not To Think About It.

#q'd bc I got a headache and didn't end up coming back to finish this until Really Late #also i know i'll be having a busy day today so i didn't really wanna hope for gettin this up in the morning jic i couldn't #but yeah thanks again for asking!#androids #original characters #OC facts #OC Headcanons #ask meme #i'll probably actually reblog this sometime soon actually..#but i'm busy today.. booo #long post #sorry i didn't put it under a read more i forgot and now im on mobile

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