#mostly just bc I really wanna know what the thought process was

[rubberbandballqueen]

i just think that as a chemistry major i shouldn't be forced to take biology classes that expect me to memorize the everything to pass. i need some kind of "biology for chemistry majors" where they emphasize the techniques a living thing has at its disposal to remain at homeostasis and then look at how all these parts come together to form a complex living organism undergoing constant holistic processes to remain at equilibrium. i don't need to know what a golgi apparatus is called i just need to know how it serves its function in the complex process of transforming A into B

[chuuyasheaven]

RAAAAAAAAH idk if this counts as an ask but this specific scenario has been marinating in my mind for WEEKS and i think you might enjoy it :3c

to put it shortly ive been thinking of hot-headed reader who has trouble containing their temper (im not projecting whar do you mean) x chuuya (established relationship) that goes from angst to smut…. teehee

basically chuuya and reader begin arguing bc i hc that EVEN THOUGH CHUUYA IS EXTREMELY LOYAL AND DOTING TO THE ONES HE CARES ABOUT…. his temper often gets the best of him. Recently, chuuya had been very busy, and reader knew that, and continuously made an effort to help him in whatever ways they could, be it making dinner/lunch for him, offering to help with paperwork, etc. BUT thing is.. chuuya isn't really noticing this and treats them like a nuisance. He hasn't said anything outright insulting or upsetting, but he treats reader so differently, like he's silently blaming reader for his own temper and mood. He doesn't even call them by their nickname/petname anymore, everything feels so distant now.

So in an attempt to yk, NOT give up on their relationship, reader decides to confront chuuya about this in a calm manner, but he blindly lashes out and reader is NOT having ANY of it… cue a petty back and forth between him and reader, and reader gets out of the house to cool off and meanwhile chuuya finally comes to his senses. He tries to reason with reader when they come back, but they end up doing exactly what chuuya did to them, dismissing him and not accepting any form of half-assed apology. and so,,,,,, chuuya tries to make it up to reader,,,, if ikwym :3c

cue chuuya eating out reader like his life depends on it /jjj ((THIS IS SO LONG LMAO IM LITERALLY SOSORRY))

"You're not getting tired of me, are you?" // C. Nakahara

Summary. Recently, Chuuya has been kinda distant lately, mostly due to his work. This also resulted into you mostly overthinking— what if he isn't at the office all the time just like says? With this thought at the back of your mind, you tried to make an effort to be nice and caring as possible, only for Chuuya to decline the food you make him, denying any help you offer and barely spending time, which made the thoughts even more scary. When you can't take it anymore, you snap, at first he didn't get what your problem was until he thought about your earlier attempts. Now driven with guilt, Chuuya wants to assure you're the most important thing to him and makes up for his actions in the process.

Tags. Chuuya N. / afab! Reader, the summary pretty much already tells the story, angst to smut to fluff maybe, miscommunication, Reader prolly has anxiety, swearing, ooc! Chuuya, suspicions of cheating, Chuuya didn't notice at first but it's okay he'll make it up by licking pussy ^_^, might be cringe, short too idk, Reader might be KINDAAA based off me, petnames (baby, doll, darlin', sweetheart), oral sex (afab! receiving), praising, overstimulation? , p in v, who knows maybe i fucked up the ask and wrote smth else, for the first time ever porn WITH plot, might have a rushed end, might contain grammar errors, etc.

"Hey, Chuuya, wanna eat? I made your favorite!", you said with a nervous tone painted in your voice, which Chuuya didn't really notice. "No, baby, I can't. Sorry, maybe next time?", he answered without even exchanging looks with you, just doing his paperwork as if it was more important to him. It's been like this for several days already and you did nothing but trying to help Chuuya to make things easier, but he didn't budge. You slowly started to get annoyed and just walked away to eat by yourself, silently.

With all kind of negative thoughts which caused you to overthink. These "thoughts" didn't leave you alone since he's become more distant. What if he's losing interest? What if he's not always late in the office? Am I annoying him and a burden? After you finished eating, you just put his plate into the fridge and sat alone in your living room. Some while later, Chuuya came to see you for a few minutes before returning to work. He tired hugging you but you rejected it. Confused, he looks at you before asking. "What's wrong, doll?", did he seriously just ask you that? After pushing away for the— what? The millionth time for his work? At this innocent question you snapped, well, not really but you were beyond pissed.

When Chuuya told you that he was probably busy for the next days, you understood, at first. Knowing Chuuya, he could make some time for you in between, right? He was your really loyal, sweet and loving boyfriend, caring was he too, of course Chuuya should be able to make atleast a little time. And to his credit, he did, at first. He took breaks in which he spent time with you, cooking your food with you, and also other activities you guys normally do. But with time, Chuuya got more and more work and spent less and less time with you. You also understood at first, and trying to be a good girlfriend, you tried to take some work off his back by doing some paperwork with him, only to deny you. Don't get Chuuya wrong, he appreciated it, but he'd rather do it himself. You understood, leaving him be, but then he started to work late, staying behind in the office. That's when you started to overthink a little. You really didn't want to let you thoughts get to you, Chuuya is loyal and so loving he would never, right? Why was he even staying so late in the first place? Was it because you constantly asked him to help to the point he wanted to work in the office at work? These thoughts would slowly consume you later on, and instead of speaking with Chuuya about it, you kept it to yourself, you didn't want to annoy him anyways. It's been 3 days later and he didn't even say a single word to you, just work, work, work. Were you even Chuuya's top priority at this point? You just let him distance himself, in hope of him noticing your presence. All this did was make the situation worse, to the point where you cried yourself to sleep at night feeling unwanted. Did Chuuya finally notice? No, his head is still drowned in paperwork. "Chuuya, do you have time right now?" — "No. Go do something else, doll, I still have work left." His tone had some harshness to it, a hint of annoyance too. But maybe it was because of the stress because of work. "I could help him maybe.", you told yourself, you don't want him to overwork himself, has he even eaten today? "Well, maybe I could help with the paper—" — "You can't, so please go. I still have a lot left." — "But I could—" — "Just go, I'm busy. I can't really talk with you 'cause you're gonna distract me." What a reason, but you can't let him push you away now, can you? "Chuuya, please, I just wanna help you—" — "Just leave me the hell alone and do something else. Look, I love you for trying, I don't need your help the only this you're doing right now is distracting me." "If you say so." Was all you said before leaving his home office without saying another word.

That was the last time you talked to him during these days, but today, was the day you finally snapped at him for pushing you away all these days. And for what did he push you away? For trying to be nice and take some shit off his back? "What's wrong?! What's wrong is that you pushed me away for— what? A week and a half?!", you explained with anger behind your voice, which Chuuya wasn't familiar with. "Doll, I didn't push you away—", before he could speak you went on. "Stop with the bullshit. Whenever I tried helping with anything you always denied me! I can't do this anymore.", you said with a crack in your voice, now Chuuya slowly got pissed too, was it his fault for having an asshole of a boss?

"Do you think I want to do this? Who in the hell would participate in such work as a fucking joke?!", he said rather louder than you. "Your damn work seems to be more important that me, when was the last time you looked me in my face?", you stood up from the couch. "You wouldn't even know what to do!", "I could've if you took some fucking time to explain!", you shouted back, this is where Chuuya might have lost his temper. "Why the hell should I? You won't even understand when I tell you to leave! I'm sorry if the world doesn't fucking revolve around you, some people have other priorities?!", his voice got angrier and louder.

"Appearently I'm not your first priority, which is what I'm supposed to be?! I just wanted to spend time with you, but if I'm so fucking 'distracting' then I'll leave!", "Oh, so now you can take a damn hint?", he called after you tried to walk away. "What?", you stopped and turned around to face him. "Fuck you, then. I'm done, go do your work which is more important to me! All I was doing was to try—", "I don't give a fuck if you were "trying" shit! Just fucking don't because it won't matter anyway all you're being is annoying and desperate.", Chuuya shouted at you.

"So I'm annoying you now?", you said, your voice going quieter. "Yeah, with the way you were constantly up in my shit. You're not the most important thing right now, just stop trying to stress me more than you already are.", when he said that, you were facing the floor, fighting back the angry tears that were building up. "Alright, go do your work. I'll leave you to it.", you muttered, walking towards your door to take a walk. Chuuya just tsk'ed and went back to his room. It was quiet in the apartment, Chuuya was working on some papers left when he thought about your earlier argument. Wondering why you started it, he thought about what you said and slowly realized that what you said was true. He has gotten more distant, he was a little rude to you about leaving him alone and barely paid you and your attempts to help attention.

Knowing he probably fucked up in those past days, hurting your feelings and calling you 'annoying and desperate' probably caused the biggest guilt he ever experienced. Chuuya tried calling you but you hung up instantly. Okay, reasonable. The second time he called you took you're time to pick up. "Hey, baby—", "What do you want?", you asked coldly. "I thought you wanted to be left alone.", Chuuya could hear the pain in your voice. "Look, darling, you know I didn't mean what I said. It was the stress—", you really didn't wanna hear him right now, especially his excuses. "Sorry, Chuuya but I don't really wanna talk right now, since I'm annoying you anyways, talk to you later.", before getting another word out, you hung up. Chuuya just took deep sigh and thought of ways to apologize and make it up to you.

You first left at 6pm but returned at 8pm, you were a little tired after walking a lot so you looked forward to lay in your shared bed, alone again probably. You changed into Chuuya's shirt just like you have been these last several days for some missing closure, not forgetting your shorts before you sat on the bed to be on your phone. Not even five minutes later, the door creaked open, revealing Chuuya with a guilt driven face. "What?, you asked him once again. "Can we talk, please?", you just stared at him before nodding. He sat down on the bed, patting the space next to him, you moved to the edge of the bed to sit down next to him.

"I'm sorry,", Chuuya started. "I'm sorry for neglecting you these past days, didn't mean to make you feel like a burden.", "So you finally got the hint?", you ask sarcastically. "Baby, I mean it. I shouldn't have priotized my work over you and pushed you away during it. I never wanted to feel unimportant.", he held your hand now, gently caressing it. "The stress made me act this way probably and i shouldn't have lashed out at you. You forgive me?", your gaze was still as cold. Chuuya just pulled you close to him, finally after a week, this made you realize that you missed him more than you thought.

Chuuya stroked your back, kissing your forehead first, then your cheeks, and lastly, your lips— those lips he hasn't kissed for something which felt like an eternity. He just wanted to make it up to you one way or another. "Lay down, dollface, wanna make you feel good.", Chuuya said to you while he was holding your chin. "I haven't fully forgiven you yet, y'know that, right?", looking away while you said this, Chuuya just had to chuckle. "You're gonna when I'm done with you, trust me.", you rolled your eyes and just laid back like he wanted. Chuuya moved himself between your legs, removing the shorts and panties blocking his path and letting your legs hang over his shoulders.

"No need to tense up, pretty, jus' relax,", he whispered, pressing kisses to your thighs, never breaking eye contact. Those kisses started to get closer and closer to your cunt, which was waiting for his tongue. Once his mouth got to it's destination, Chuuya started his work. He ate you out like his life depended on it, but he made sure he won't make a big mess. You where quietly moaning, trying to not be heard by him. "Why so quiet, sweetheart?", he lightly teased, you just looked away again. "C'mon, look at me. I wanna make you feel good, remember that?", you looked back at him, your cheeks were slightly flushed and lust was filled in your eyes. Chuuya dived back in and kept his eye contact with you, looking at you while you try to bite down your moans. This only made him suck on your clit, which also broke your silence.

It didn't take long for you to finish with Chuuya looking at you while pleasuring you. As you came on his tongue, still breathing unsteady, Chuuya got up between your legs. "You're so perfect like this, darlin'.", he whispered before kissing you, you could loosely taste yourself on his tongue. While he was kissing you, he freed his cock out of his pants. Chuuya stopped kissing you for a second to insert his dick inside you. He stroked your folds with his tip to catch some slick and entered almost easily, as if your cunt was sucking him in. "Fuck, I forgot how good you felt around me. Forgive me for neglecting this perfect— oh, fuck!", he cut himself off by starting to thrust.

If you weren't loud earlier, you definitely were now. Chuuya was kissing you while being inside you, thrusting while his lips were on yours, whispering "I love you"s and apologies to you. "You're so good for me, fuck— I love you so much.", his thrusts got sloppier, meaning he was close. Your arms were thrown around his neck as you threw your head back, you could feel your upcoming orgasm. "Chuuya— shit, 'm so close, please don't stop!", "Wasn't planning on it, you feel way too good for that, baby.", as your cunt clenched down around him, he surprisingly moaned, instantly cumming inside you. He thrusted once more and that's when you came undone a second time.

"So. . did you change your mind, doll?"

@moth-of-mythos // @pretendtobesick04 // @alastors-deerest // @shi-nakano // @samutoru // @munnaitorei // @sjsnsidream // @shuwyyx // @skelitea // @xaviawinter // @cvidy // @cherrytreegrove // @skk-lover // @pe4rl-diver // @walking-simp

Sorry if ur tag didn't work 😕 also sorry if I fucked the storyline up

[silkscream]

smut idea if you wanted options idk i live to serve (my liege) but stress fuck with peter bc uni is killing him and he’s on the streets every night and happy won’t get off his ass so when you crawl into his bed in just a t shirt and underwear he quite literally goes insane

18+ mdni!!!!!!!!!!!

god peter is so fucking pathetic. he barely has time to himself. barely has time to fucking breathe. yet, when he's alone -- when he knows that he'll at least be alone for the night -- he occupies his time by palming his cock at the thought of you. he thinks of your plump, pink mouth, how it circles his cock. how it sucks heart-shaped bruises on his neck and his broad chest.

and there's a night that he's free -- he means it loosely because he has to wake up the next morning to immediately volunteer. then, his schedule is packed with exam moderation, which he also volunteered for. he's busy as hell, and you'd gotten so used to it that you decided to occupy yourself without him. when you don't text back within five hours, he feels crushed.

but you don't leave him waiting for long. it's his night off, after all. you're excited to have him around in general. the two of you indulge in a marathon of your favorite tv show (you're mostly rewatching because peter had been too absent to watch the season with you, though you don't tell him this) and cooking dinner together. fulfilling his domestic fantasy, ravishing you in sweet kisses.

but peter also craves you in a way he can't say out loud. well, he can -- he's a big boy, he can tell his girlfriend that he wants to fuck her. but it's been a while, and the way you make your sleepytime tea and do your skincare routine discourages him from trying anything.

but then he watches you crawl into your bed with just a t-shirt -- his t-shirt -- and panties. he joins you, spooning you, though he's weary of the growing length that's probably prodding the back of your legs right now.

"want something, peter?" you tease.

he groans in frustration. he doesn't have the energy to play this game with you -- dancing around what he really wants. so he grasps you tightly, hands exploring your hips as he hovers over you. you're pliable underneath him, so soft and sweet.

peter wishes he had all the time in the world just so he could eat you out for hours. but he's been denying himself of you for weeks. he hasn't been able to be next to you in such a close capacity for weeks, either.

so he fucks you easily. there's no resistance -- you were wet by the time his bare cock was even prodding in between your folds. he still feels bad that he wasn't able to prep you (he really fucking wanted to eat you out), but you're still wet enough for him. the way you want him is enough.

peter has to pace himself, knowing that he might finish too quickly or hurt you in the process with his super strength. he drinks in your moans with his mouth, caressing your face with his calloused hands.

his hands have known blood and deep gashes. punches that would send his opponent across a parking lot. but now, his hands are gentle, just for you. he uses them to explore the softness of your body. he uses them to worship.

"love you, baby," he rasps weakly.

"love you, too," you coo. "cum inside me, please. wanna feel it."

and he does. he always does -- loves to listen to you and give you what you want. peter will cherish this moment until the next time he gets to be inside of you, even if the mission tomorrow is quick to finish. even if the mission tomorrow occupies him for days.

he'll come back crawling home to you. always.

[urhoneycombwitch]

U just haaaaad to go and make another eddie for me to be feral over didn’t you? I need to know everything about roommate eddie pls 🤲🏻

IM IN LOVE W HIM TOO. thank you for giving me the opportunity to speak on it bc I have an origin story for roommate!Eddie with nowhere to go… until now 😈 here’s my other blurb of him btw linking in case others wanna see!! 🫶

so in this nebulous roommates!au, I’m imagining you’re besties with Robin. Eddie is besties with Steve. and of course since Robin and Steve are Ultimate Besties (in every world. in every universe.) they plot to get their respective Others together somehow. like, you’re offbeat and fun and so is Eddie!! should work out great right?

wrong. u and Eddie just don’t hit it off. you think he’s too loud and brash and godforbid he gets more than one beer in him ���cuz he’ll be pulling you to the dance floor or making his own and embarrassing the everloving shit out of you. and he thinks you need to loosen up and get out of your head, which he decides is his new job that he takes VERY seriously.

eventually Steve and Robin stop trying to force it and yours and Eddie’s relationship just turns into casual frenemies. (a la Harry Met Sally) like, ah yes, You Again. the best friend of my best friend’s best friend 😒 you’ll hang out casually at various house parties and bars but always with a buffer, otherwise you’ll be at each other’s necks with (mostly) playful arguments and hot debates.

and it seems CRAZY at first that you’re gonna live in the same space but holy shit rent is so expensive in the Big City where you all moved to and it mind as well be with someone you know. you’re really worried about the set up but Eddie turns out to be real responsible with monthly payments and has a general respect for shared spaces (his own room is a black hole and it baffles you that he manages to have so many successful one night stands in that hell pit but you’re never in there so who cares.) plus it helps to have a man around fr, to spook the landlord into doing his job 👹 and also to fix things! and to give you lifts to work! and share snack duty! you find a rhythm and it’s great.

the night that he falls for you tho? you’re at group karaoke 3-shots deep and pick a cheesy Beatles song just to piss him off. simpering over your shoulder while you croon into the microphone, giving him a one-man-show that you hope triggers an earworm and irritates for days to come 💖 but actually he’s gripping his beer for dear life on the nearby barstool getting hit with the sickening realization of being in love. like oh fuck, this is bad. I cannot be falling for my pal’s pal. whom I also live with. what a fucking mess.

the night you fall for him? a second date goes sideways and you have no one else to call but Eddie. he fully leaves the solo gig he was about to play because you sounded so upset over the phone (doesn’t tell u that, tho!) and he could be a total asshole about it when he picks you up on the street corner but he absolutely isn’t. chews out your date, tho, with a viciousness that both delights and scares you. makes you a proper meal at home and wraps a strong arm around you on the couch and watches your favorite romcom and laughs at all the parts you laugh at. and you’re pressed up all close, wheels spinning in ur brain, unknowingly going through the exact same thought process Eddie had about a month earlier. Oh No. He’s My Bestie. Whom I Live With. This Cannot Possibly End Well.

aaaaand that about brings us up to canon speed, thus far! you and Eddie date around and have sex in your shared apartment but NOT with each other and if sometimes you get off to the sounds he makes when he’s fucking someone else and if sometimes he gets off to the noises of you in the shower well … no one’s business 🙂‍↔️

like why are u even asking about something soooo personal. like Robin you don’t get it it’s not like that I just wanna be near him all the time. that’s normal and what friends do. no, Steve, you’re not listening, we look at each other’s nudes as buddies. sorry you don’t understand how friendships work 🙄

(Robin and Steve have to set up weekly debriefs to compare notes and make sure they’re not going fucking crazy)

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Can I request Glitchy red being followed around by a Child NPC with Ice types who he defeated..and at that moment they gained sentience/snapped outta the NPC behavior and now..travels and follows him around bc they’re like “WOAHHH YOUR SO COOL!! :00 :3” and like chats up a storm and and see him as they’re idol and as a big brother figure and wants to be friends with him headcanons? He isn’t lonely anymore! :3

Awe yeah wholesome times <3

........

"I guess that's one way to break the ice!"

Although it may have been humorous to the player, Glitchy Red wasn't laughing at your post-battle line at all.

Nor did he feel any sort of victory in defeating you, one of the only NPCs with a functional Pokémon battle.

You did have some high-leveled ice types for such a young trainer class, but that just reminded him of how broken this game is...and how you really weren't any different from the others.

You were merely puppeteered by scripted dialogue, standing in the same place forever as you handed him his prize: a thousand pokedollars.

Yet he didn't wanna take them. He had millions in his inventory already, but it was all useless to him.

So he tries returning them to you, insisting that you deserved it more.

But you don't even react, instead repeating that same phrase over and over again.

"Take the damn money, kid. You need it more than me."

"I guess that's one way to break the ice!"

"I swear if you say that one more time..."

"I guess that's one way to-!"

"Shut up." In a small fit of frustration, Glitchy Red takes your hand and puts the money into your palm himself, fingers curling around it as he stares intensely at you with glowing eyes.

Yet his anger quickly subsides..and he wonders why tf he thought anything would be different with you.

He's just so lonely here and wishes somebody would wake up.

But after seeing you glitch, he steps back and thinks you're gonna disappear into oblivion thanks to him.

He turns away, not wanting to see it.

However he barely takes a few steps forward before he feels something grab the back of your shirt.

And it's...your hand????

"Red, it's you!! The champion!! Oh my gosh...what happened to this place? Why is everything so weird?"

He's stunned into complete silence, taking a moment to process the fact that someone must've heard him.....because you broke free of your programming!

He doesn't know how you did it or how he could've done it, but he's shocked as he watches you heal your Pokémon, bringing out the Cloyster, Dewgong, and Lapras he just defeated.

"Everyone! This is Red, and he's the coolest!! Can you believe we had a chance to fight him???" You whisper excitedly to your team, completely aware of the tall menacing glitchy man standing next to you.

Ever since then, you've been following him around the map, but mostly in Glitch City where you saw the same anomalies as him.

Yet you weren't have a total freakout or a crisis over it like he did....as you're too busy chatting about everything you admired about him.

And even though you have sentience now, you still retained your habit of using ice-related puns

He's certain you're mistaking his achievements for the actual Red's...or the version of himself in Gold that got casted as a "final boss" NPC.

However, you didn't seem aware of that. So who was he to crush your dreams?

Especially the dreams of the only other character in this cursed world that liked him and could talk to him?

Besides, being deemed a failure by his creators and basically left to rot took a toll on him....he never thought himself worthy of praise or positive attention.

Not even the words from NPCs helped, because he knew they were all scripted lines written into the game. They were empty.

But he believes yours 100% because you're alive and truly do mean them.

You wonder why he looked so angry all the time...and when he finally tells you the reason, he's afraid you're gonna run off scared.

Yet you hug him and promise to never leave his side.

That also makes him absolutely TERRIFIED of you possibly despawning/getting corrupted from touching him...

But nothing bad happens at all.

He may have shed a few tears after hugging you back, only to hide his face with his hat after letting you go....completely denying the fact he was crying.

Although he doesn't show it, he's genuinely happy not to be alone anymore and finds living here a little more bearable.

[princessbrunette]

line cook turned baby daddy jj who definitely cried his heart out when he held his newly born daughter to his bare chest for the first time. just sobs his heart out. he’s an empath guys. he’s got his backwards cap on and is still wearing his apron when he shows up, wide eyed and sweating after getting the call you’d went into labour. and you know he doesn’t leave your side basically at all, completely ignoring his manager blowing up his phone cause there’s way more important things going on (aka the birth of his c h i l d). he basically gets his hand broken and he won’t complain but it hurt like a bitch, but that all goes out the window when this slightly cone-headed screaming wriggly little babe is put on his chest and he’s just an absolute mess. you’d think he had the baby at that point.

- 🧸

this kills me bc yes :((((

you couldn’t call, in too much pain — but you shot him a text just hoping and praying he’d see it. it read a simple ‘in labour come asap’, and luckily for you — jj did see it, but unluckily for him he saw it not only mid shift, but mid lecture from his manager about being responsible.

“the way you act, represents us as a company jj and—”

his eyes are glancing down at his phone when it dinged with a notification, practically falling out of his head as he reads what it says. he’s suddenly moving without thought, yanking his apron off and throwing it aside, nodding quickly as if he gave a shit about what he was being told.

“uh-huh, yeah for sure and i really understand but i gotta go, i really gotta go—” hes already headed for the exit.

“excuse me?”

“my girls having her baby!” he hollers as he leaves, a faint “woohoo!” heard from the restaurant as he sprints off. of course, john b had received the same text, nearly knocking JJ off his feet when the twinkie swung round the corner with the gang inside, barely slowing down for him to jump in.

he gets there in time of course to hold your hand through the screaming and the refusal and the fear and the crying (mostly your own, but you were squeezing his hand pretty tight.) until before he knows it the room is hit with calm, a babies cry ringing out through the air.

he’s so focused on you he almost forgets the acknowledge the baby at first, making sure you look okay and healthy, cupping your face breathlessly like he was the one screaming as he presses millions of kisses to your cheeks, laughing gleefully. “you did so good baby, so good holy shit. you’re a fuckin’ weapon.”

the baby gets brought for you to hold on your chest and he goes real quiet, the reality of the situation settling in as he stares at the life the two of you created there in your arms. it had been such a long nine months, and today had moved so fast he hadn’t had time to process the fact that the baby was finally going to be here for real.

his ears are still ringing, and he can’t hear what you’re saying as you talk to the baby, holding her on your chest. he’s just staring, looking at all the babies features. a sweet baby girl, still clammy and bloody but beautiful none the less, the spitting image of you already, he can tell, and wouldn’t have it any other way. he’s still stroking your head, fingers twisting the hair at your sweaty scalp almost nervously as he just stares in shock.

exhausted, you look up at him. he recalls you looking as beautiful as the day you met him. “you wanna take her jayj?”

the nurse helps the pass-over and he sits in the chair beside the bed, this clammy warm baby tucked into his chest, so real, moving and whimpering. you’re smiling, tiredly but encouragingly in his direction, your first ever look at JJ as a dad. he looks back at you, lips slightly agape, eyes wide, then back at the baby, then back at you, then back at the baby and he just crumbles, bursting into tears.

“oh jayj.” you whisper hoarsely in awe, tears filling your own eyes at the sight.

“shes so beautiful man, i swear— i swear to you right now, no one is ever gonna hurt you okay? not as long as daddies around.” he rambles to the baby, lifting her to kiss her damp head, careful not to let his salty tears drip on her perfect skin. “my baby girl.” he adds in a whisper, rocking her before letting out an embarrassed laugh, looking back at you. “dude i’m a wreck, i feel like i just gave birth.” he comments, which gets a laugh out of the nurses.

after the baby gets checked by the midwives you’re allowed visitors, JJ handing the baby back to you so he can go and tearfully retrieve the group to bring them in. he walks into the waiting room and of course they all stand up instantly, waiting for him to say something. “y’all wanna meet my daughter or what?”

[mikhailoism]

okay i need outsider pov fics on bathena so badly ,really any time but specific in the beginning of their relationship. like i want the team and grant/carter family initial and growing throughts on their relationship.

like first with the team. they're still kinda getting to know bobby after he's finally told them about his past and is being more open with them, so seeing bobby in a relationship is a whole new side of him (and it being athena just adds to it) they get to see bobby open and vulnerable and happy in a completely different way then they're used, a way they probably never thought they'd see. ( maybe they're something about the relationship that helps bobby be even more open around the team faster and easier than before) I think in the beginning they'd be surprised by the physical affection they have for each other bc both are usually quite guarded, and in Bobby's case keeps his distance but now they have them together always touching in some way greeting each other with kisses and calling each pet names ( like the reaction to hearing bobby call athena baby the first time would be hilarious, I don't think they'd have expected it from bobby)

another pov i badly need is beatrice. i want her thoughts and feelings on the relationship how it progresses. im a little shocked that i haven't found a single fic about bobby calling her in athena begins (unless there is one hidden in the depths and im just stupid pls tell me what it is) I wanna know how that phone call went and more about how it did change his and beatrice's relationship. I think about the Florida arc a lot and the part where bobby defends athena and beatrice gets upset and later he tried to apologize but she simply refutes, like I wanna know more about that. mostly I wanna know how she's sees athena in all this and yes I do kinda want comparisons to emmett and michael, not in any sort of extremely negative way but some sort of feelings on these important relationships in athena's life and how different or similar they are and also how they've impacted athena's life. another moment I think about is beatrice's first ep where one of the things she says to athena she worries the next time her life falls apart that athena won't be able to put it back together, a lot implications and i personally wondered if this partially a vague (not perfect) reference to emmett's death and how athena shut down after and i want more thoughts on it , like we know so little about her life after his death and i want to know more and partially through beatrice would be so interesting ( and to continue it and see michael and the kids and then bobby etc)

the next obvious povs are may and harry like I want to know their thoughts and feelings on first meeting bobby and him becoming part of their lives. i want to see them notice how different and happier athena is, and the small differences between this relationship and the before with michael (preferably not really negative we do love michael) i wanna know how they adjust to a new person in their house after they get married and then learning bobby's quirks ( like what did they think the first time bobby had a huge stress baking session) I wanna know more about their thoughts on athena's job, about her attack, more about may's decision to work at dispatch and the thought process behind it and how she told her parents, more about the events of mayday, more about harry post kidnapping and how he's recovering and how it affects his relationships with athena and michael, i want more first responder responsibility discussions between bobby and may and then for her to also reach to hen and get that bonding moment

soooo yeah outside pov fics you'll always be loved by me

[faglaios]

id love to hear your denji thoughts

I HAVE SO MANYYYY HE MAKES ME SO SAD. Warnings for sexual assault talk

particularly just how tragic he is and framed as comedy (meant to be realized is tragic, but csm fans tend to have no reading comprehension💔) like ermmm when his FAMILY IS BEING HELD HOSTAGE? and he desperately offers sexual favors to ensure their safety like people seeing that and going “haha woah what!!” or “denji gay moments!” or whatever like yes I think he is bisexual but that is literally not a moment for evidence for that, he is desperate and willing to do anything to help his family and we KNOW his relationship with sexuality.

Denji is 16 at the start, he’s going through puberty, he’s horny. That’s not a bad thing and is actually really fun to explore! It’s a central part of his character that he just wanted to touch boobs and have sex and a girlfriend, but what ISNT silly is how that is directly what causes him to get groomed and assaulted over and over (groomed I use mostly just for makima, himeno is on the fence for it I think she just took advantage of him and then. Sexually assaulted him like twice) Denji’s had no family for the vast majority of his life and has had little contact with other people in a normal way, he’s had no way to process or experience desire whether it be sexual or romantic or just desire for things in general. He struggles (and I believe he’s not even conscious of it) to differentiate between these types of feelings because the only time he’s done that was with pochita! And it makes sense he wouldn’t wanna fuck his dog like. Duh.

But he’s so continuously taken advantage of and manipulated that even in recent chapters when he’s sorted through some things and has visibly REALIZED he needs to be treated better and with respect, you can see him revert back to those traumatic habits and responses because he’s desperate! And you can see he’s not fucking happy when these examples of reversion occur! He feels bad, but because characters are laughing at him or what he says “feels” (“feels” because tbh like it’s realistic when you think about it!) out of pocket and surprises the audience, it’s viewed as funny!

Literally my friend, when the chapter of him offering to tongue yoshida’s ass for a week to keep his family safe, was laughing! And that’s like ok initially I guess bc yeah it’s vulgar and sudden but it’s so sad! Chainsaw man has a funny name so “it’s a comedy,” or someone literally just tried telling me it’s a “tragic romcom” like!!! Csm is not a sad romantic comedy!! Denji is groomed, sexually assaulted, manipulated, taken advantage of, the list goes on!! None of his romantic encounters are ever (save for asa) just Kind Of Sad. Csm is the story of a victim over and over again and it’s explicit about that!! The comedy comes from silly moments that are semi frequent, but overall it’s a tragedy, like ohhhh my god denji makes me so fucking upset

[creepling]

🎓 for an education-themed headcanon for any of the family members, I’m super curious abt ur headcanons for whether any of them went to school / college or anything like that!! oooh and what type of clique they’d have been in if u wanna!’ <3

idk if this will be controversial to say, but my headcanon is that most of the family is illiterate. this mostly applies to the cook, bubba and nubbins. my thought process is that they have basic literary skills, but they were pulled out of school early to work in the slaughterhouse and bring more money into the home. they never went past high school and grandpa sure as hell wasn't encouraging learning in the house, just kill kill kill!! bubba had a hard time at school so he was pulled out earlier, since they gave up on him before giving him a chance due to their attitudes of disabilities at the time. hence why he is still non vocal.

johnny and sissy had a slightly better chance at education. nancy forbidded johnny attending dances/homecomings bc it "involved girls". sissy really hated school and did everything to avoid it, pretending she was heading off but spending the whole day wandering around a field. sissy, however, was the best performing out of all the members despite her horrible attendence. she got good grades in english from her neat handwriting and storytelling, but her grammar and spelling brought her down to an average grade. johnny never played in team sports, but his best subject was gym, and the coach tried to get him to join the track team. johnny never signed up because he thought stuff like that was for "try hards". i also headcanon johnny and sissy were dropouts and never graduated; to the rest of the town, they just fell from the face of the earth.

discregarding all that for a moment i wanna do cliques bc it's fun!!!

young!cook: teacher's pet. not a genius but he loves maths and desperately tried to emulate the popular kids and their 'polished' looks. spoke highly of teachers and students alike, but people thought he was a suck-up and a bit annoying.

nubbins: artsy kid. spends lunch time in the art classroom and makes sculptures. he's also a little bit of a drifter, he's had a hand at every group but gave up when he became a laughing stock to most of them. desperately wants to be a class clown but he just weirds people out.

young!nancy: overachiever/popular. done a lot of masking and covert narcissism so people could like her. wanted to be the smartest, prettiest, funniest, kindest person in the room. and it worked, but resulted in her only 'peaking' in high school.

bubba: the 'invisible' kid. eats lunch with the teachers, no one knows his name or talks to him. also the bully target until they discovered he had the strength of a bull, so they don't mess with him now. spends most of his time by himself, people watching.

sissy: mix of stoner/loner. not open to making friends and avoids socialising as much as possible because no one 'gets her'. considered an 'ugly duckling' in high school. hippie is obvious but i think this is something she grew into when she dropped-out and started hitchiking.

johnny: greaser/bully. a total slacker and hard-head. picks on the little man and speaks ill of the popular kids, everyone is his worst enemy. got attention from girls if they were into the 'bad boy', and he took advantage of it. always getting detention, failing his classes, counting the days when he can leave.

[suffarustuffaru]

Out of all the fanfiction you've ever written which one is your favorite

ooh good question anon :o mwuahaha probably self-l - *gets shot*

but anyway jokes aside i thinkkk my favorite fic out of the ones ive written probably changes to be like. the most recent one usually, just bc thats like what i wrote in the present and i usually try to really look over my writing before i post HAH.

but i do like a good number of my fics in different ways - im super fond of every collab ive ever done, they were super fun and i love working with pals, i also think ashes ashes (that one pride if subaru fic i made about his first 82 ish loops) was an important milestone for me bc it was the first time i wrote That much and really tried to extrapolate stuff from rezero canon so it's a big accomplishment for me!! kite academy also took a looot of work and juggling different stuff and it May be only one ch1 finished but its a really great piecee of work - and genuinely fics like self love i spent a looot of time on doing research and trying to figure out how to write. Everything. in it for my parts of it (you dont wanna know the heinous things i researched while writing that LMFAO). also genuinely people tell me they still like a lot of my older stuff too which always warms my heart.

i think my current top favorite would probably be Natsuki Subaru and the Tale of the Lost Names though :> it is like. 32k words of pure chaos with one of my favorite richard siken poems in it as like an excerpt and it was really Really hard to write for a variety of reasons and bc there was so many different things to tackle and handle with actual nuance but the end result i feel is pretty complex with a lot to look into!! i heard a lot of feedback on that fic bc i turned it in for a fic contest so a bunch of different people gave their thoughts on it so!! i thiiiink it got the intended effect i wanted :3 i remember rereading it a few weeks ago with a fresh mind bc i havent looked at it in so long and i was like GODDAMN HOW THE HELL DID I DO ALL OF THAT - bc its superrr funny to me most of my writing process was the messiest notes ever paired with me writing about 10k or so words in a whole week while high on dr. pepper specifically <3

also ig shoutout to hot potatoes. its my most popular fic still (i totally get it, its an rbd reveal fic HAH) but also like it's spread through my friends in this fandom like a virus. same with self love. except self love was like mostly my fault but like one of the funniest things thats happened to me in this fandom was definitely MULTIPLE MUTUALS QUOTING MY OWN FICS BACK AT ME...... this is like the stop posting about amogus rezero meme video all over again (i say this with love). but other than that i do appreciate how much people seem to like hot potatoes and a lot of my other fics!! and i definitely really enjoy the art my cowriters have made with our collabs <3

and shoutout to satellite. one of my proudest achievements (writing emilia content that i Like <3).

thanks for the ask anon hope you didnt mind my yapping :3

[jinxiaobao]

Artists and designers self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five works in any medium that you've created, then pass it on to at least five other creators. Let’s spread the self-love 💛

aw thank you for thinking of me, cat! apologies for being so late to do this 💛💛💛

💜 icon: pete saengtham set - this set was a BEAST to make (the first gif alone took me two days to get the way i wanted it kdfshfj), but i love the way it turned out! i set out to really let loose with typography and animation and transitions, and i think i pulled it off.

🧡 only friends + iphones set - when @cal-kestis shared her template for her incredible iphone sets, i had to give it try! coming up with different color combos and thinking about what the characters would prioritize on their phones was a lot of fun.

💖 emotions: love + uncertainty (sand x ray, only friends) set - this set reinvented itself a few times bc i wanted it to express what was happening between sand and ray at the time it was being posted. i'm often inspired by music, and when 'do i wanna know' by arctic monkeys played in one of my mixes, i knew that had to be the basis. that sand mentions liking arctic monkeys in the show only helped fuel that. i was inspired by this set, esp by the second to last gif, and i wanted a similar effect for my set. it took FOREVER to get it (mostly) the way i wanted it, because i had to just. figure it out? it's not as seamless as it is in the inspiration set, but i think i did okay?

💛 sand x ray, only friends (inspired by this beautiful set by @seamayweed) aka the kintsugi set - i fell in love with sea's kintsugi set and when the prompt of 'inspiration' was announced for the userdramas event, i immediately thought of it. the timing coincided with eps 8 & 9 of only friends, and i was thinking about how ray has these 'cracks' and sand is the gold lovingly piecing them back together to help make something even more beautiful......that was corny as hell but that was the thought process. honestly? i think it turned out beautifully and i'm really proud of it.

❤️ halsey - finally // beautiful stranger (sand x ray, only friends) (tw cracked glass effect and flickering neon) - this was a birthday gift for my beloved @henwilsons, who loves sandray as well. she also likes halsey, so i combed thru some songs and finally (heh) decided to work with 'finally // beautiful stranger'. i feel like the mood and lyrics of the song mirror sand's feelings for ray: this beautiful stranger bulldozes his way into his life and he wants to believe they can just be friends, that sex between them won't change anything ('and i say i'm only playing'). but whoops he fucked around and fell in love. and he's been hurt but he can't help but want this man. (god these bozos mean so much to me.) i wanted the set to have a 'last call at the bar' kind of vibe, so i used deep blue and red and then paired that with neon lighting. the cracked glass effect to convey being terrified and hurt just made sense to me. i think it turned out nice, and mia really liked it, and that was the most important thing!

💚 put that blorbo under a microscope!: ray pakorn - she's new but i love her! like most a lot of my sets, i didn't have a solid idea in my head about what i wanted to do. i knew that i wanted to gif ray (he's such a dumpling), that the scene of ray and sand in the hallway of the rehab center with the green floral art behind them made me want to use green, and it evolved from there. infinite thanks go to @deokmis who patiently listened to me ramble about this and gave me valuable suggestions and feedback that made it so much better! i love this set and i'm obsessed with green now.

so there you go. yeah, i know. i did six sets. i couldn't choose and also i don't know how to shut up. don't be like me. be normal.

[partiallypearl]

hi hi hiiii just wanna let you know i've been listening to the btr fanmixes a lot since you posted them, especially the lucy stone one (i guess cuz it aligns the most with my music taste atm). what's your thought process when putting together a fanmix? i noticed genre is consistent within each playlist. do you consider lyrics, specific plots in canon etc? would love to hear ur thoughts ! :)

omg!!!!

thank u for the question! i usually have a general idea when i come up with fanmixes, like the lucy one was based on the idea of songs that she could hypothetically have put on her album in canonverse. i also try to stick to time periods as much as possible.

like my songs btr could have sang in the show fanmix (which i will link here) has songs from the late 90s & early 2000s & early 2010s since that’s the music showverse btr would have grown up w and would be interested in.

i had to really fight w myself to not put songs that didn’t fit that time period and i only have one song that doesn’t fit that, which is in the night by fly by midnight, which i put on the playlist bc the chorus gives me kendall vibes lol!

i sometimes consider plot points in canon, my lucy playlist is mostly pop rock/pop punk breakup songs bc she’s dealing with heartbreak as she writes this album, while my jo playlist has a mix of boy band songs and general pop songs + a few country songs bc she’s originally from north carolina, and most likely would have grown up listening to it!

(fun fact) hair salon by megan moroney is the song that inspired my jo playlist! the lyric, my blonde was gettin' brassy, my roots were comin' in, was the one that made me go oh i need to make a jo playlist and everything kind of built itself around that!

my camille playlist is a mix of songs about self confidence and sensuality bc that’s pretty much her in a nutshell

i consider lyrics, general vibe of the fanmix and in the case of like my ocs and stuff, the plot points that are specific to them!

thank you for the ask, and for enjoying my fanmixes hahaha

[crguang]

I want to let you know that I actually squealed when I saw that there was a new part of wasted w longing, so that was embarrassing. I giggled so much, love me some domestic fluff, I also gasped so hard at the ending that I started choking. can't believe you updated while I was in class so didn't see it until later.

kafka is so smug I hate her, I want to kiss her on the mouth so bad she's such a weirdo, but at the same time, I'm mad at her, I'll forgive her if she comes home early on my pulls tho, and also some kafka groveling, very excited to see that. also the writing is so good, like at the end I was questing everything about r's encounter's w kafka. and you said replying to someone else's ask that kafka cares atp. wdym atp? istg I love angst but I can't handle angsty endings being w out kafka also you said himeko is going to show up again, and I know that'll be funny. the cliffhangers are killing me, but I'm really excited for the next part, the plot is plotting. also the way at the beginning I literally said out loud, "oh she just got shot, it's okay."

the wanted poster is so funny, like whoever wrote it down must've seen footage of her shooting people as she breaks into somewhere and thought, damn, she is hot as fuck, and tbh that was my thought process when I watched kafka's trailer the first time.

hope your first day at uni was good! if you made me loose my 50/50 I'll---

-🌠

not the squealinggg thats so cute im flattered. it’s funny whenever yall say i post when yall are busy because it’s always 4 to 6 am here i have a horrible sleep schedule 😭 i loved writing the more domestic part cause that’s the first time they actually spend time together without sleeping together and it was kinda cuteee, if you ignore the getting shot part.

“i hate her i wanna kiss her on the mouth shes such a weirdo” is exactly how i feel about kafka im so glad im not alone… also, i meant that at this point of the story kafka already knows that she likes R; she goes out of her way to look out for them, she stares a lot, wants to help them through their dilemma and other stuff that’ll come later. in her mind shes not in love with them but she does like them. i think due to her closed off nature, a lot of the little hints of how she feels are in the way she looks at R and since this is written from R’s (sometimes unreliable) perspective, i mentioned how they can’t read her eyes yet so to them there’s no reciprocation right now. and now that they’re mad at her everything she does will feel disingenuous when it might not be. it’s tricky to write bc as readers i want people to be able to tell that kafka cares even when she’s being a little shit while also staying true to how R sees things. i do think it’ll become much more obvious starting from the next chapter tho cause there will be some grovelling involved lmfaoo.

also this was literally her at the end:

r: i will call the police on you.

kafka: i am so attracted to you right now

its funny, R is always making themself available for her and has been doing that from the beginning so kafka’s very used to this behavior and its the reason why she’s so fucking smug. but now she’s seeing a new side to them that she really likes. they’re standing up for themself and i think it’s a quality that she’d find really attractive in a person. but yeah it’s fun i love this series mainly because the idea mostly came from anons so i love hearing what yall think about it.

my first day at uni was nice!! im looking to getting my shit together honestly, i feel like an actual adult now so hopefully it helps with my mood as well and makes it easier for me to be productive cause i dont write fast at all. if you lose the 50/50 bc of me i’ll write whatever you want as consolation prize

[blackorechan]

CHAPTER REVIEW: JULY 2023

i'm gonna try something new out: chapter reviews! mostly because oh my god i really wanna talk about this chapter. it's about poppy playtime legally distinct survival horror let's plays!

for your reading convenience, i have TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY edited in english dialogue and some misc text

let's fuckin GO.... !!!!!!! wait goddamnit this means i was too late to write that twitch streamer black au

so, before anything else, i really need to bring something up. like, it's not even relevant to the chapter i just kinda need to

black channel acknowledging and deliberately paying homage to garten of banban is going to fucking kill me. do you understand. this chapter's about poppy playtime but there are pages referencing banban too. the general theme for this issue BC-wise was "foreign horror games"

ok actual review time for this chapter

we start off seeing that satoshi is getting into horror game let's plays! he's too scared to play the games himself, so he just watches commentary channels play them.

now, why the fuck satoshi would still be scared of indie horror games right after he watched black grow twice the size of the earth and crush an alien military squadron with his bare hands and also get shot with a pistol, kinda like what happened literally the chapter before this, i don't know but, eh, hey, he's ten and i barely processed all that myself

black proposes they make a video so satoshi can learn to be just like the let's players he watches play those survival horror games! then he could be a famous youtuber, so he says

satoshi hesitates, but with some Encouragement from camera-chan, they set off

so, here we reach the part of the chapter where they are literally just playing poppy playtime basically.

this chapter's writing really shines through with a really fun detail though..

throughout this chapter, we can see the viewers on black's livestream send chat messages! they tend to be really rude about satoshi being scared shitless, making fun of him, generally behaving as a livestream chat does

i obviously am well versed in twitch, and though i think this is intended to be youtube livestreams for obvious reasons, it does feel a lot like watching an actual livestream to see the little comments heckling satoshi as he goes. it's just a fun detail!

it's pretty clear the complexity of the previous arc had an impact on the style kisaichi wants to pursue for this series. the shading especially stands out much more now, and there seems to be a better balance between comedic beats and the scary ones!

black's "asshole older brother and younger sibling he torments" dynamic with satoshi also has plenty of wiggle room this chapter! it's the reason they're doing it in the first place (and camera-chan's Encouragement), and black does not miss an opportunity to fuck with his stream co-host.

i'm having fun with the stream chat could you tell

but, we can only have so much for fun and games with our trio. there's something big, an elephant in the room...

or a cat, a cat works too.

this is "nyan-nyan", our not-huggy wuggy who is not so subtly also a nod towards banban. nyan-nyan does the exact same thing huggy wuggy and banban do in the game. it chases you!

it's at this point in the game, satoshi gets stuck. every time he tries to get past nyan-nyan, it kills him. but it's just a video game so he's fine, he respawns. it's fine. it's probably fine.

the story beats really resemble poppy playtime from this point forward, right down to "poor" huggy wuggy-sorry, nyan-nyan's fate, which by the way takes the cake for one of the most gruesome things i've seen in this series so far, but i'd rather just wrap up with this and give my final thoughts on this whole chapter!

VERDICT: REALLY GOOD!

"aren't you an indie horror nut, like, especially for the bad ones-" yes and that's why i reviewed this chapter! thank you for noticing how biased i am in this chapter's favor (especially after whatever the FUCK happened last month)

i'll be honest. this chapter is better than both the games it's paying homage to, because i actually did get startled when i swiped to the next page a couple times, which is not something i can say either poppy playtime or garten of banban themselves got out of me

the previous arc was dragging on so long i'd almost forgotten the horror aspects of the series. almost. not quite, not quite.

so, that's my two cents on the poppy playtime / garten of banban parody chapter! little early for halloween, but appreciated nonetheless.

besides, who wouldn't love that face? the answer is my boyfriend who got jumpscared multiple times in our dms when i showed him this panel

[missbaphomet]

hi i've been drinking and i'm gonna rtant about astarion <3

i'm so fucking tired of bad takes about astarion and i've been meaning to so a character analysis for a while and i figured why not while i'm a lil tpsy for comedic effect.

so. asatarion. he's often mis represented as either a tiny smol uwu bean vistim or a irredeemable bad guy and tyhe truth is he's neither. He's traumatized and well written and a complex character and i don't tink enough of you have the media literacy to appreciate yhat tbh

this is already less coherent than I expected (didn't eat before drinking but i'm gonna roll with it) but this is meant mostly as funny hahas and not as a 100% serious deeps dive character analysis. also idk if it's alcohol in general or just tequila but i'm already starting to feel sober shich is annoying so i'm gonna drink more and then continues this postw

i've had another drink now so I'm back!!! anywya this is not going well BUT he's been traumatized for over 200 years sexually phyiscally and emotionally and he's had to adapt for the better and the worse. everything astarion does (at least in act 1 if u romance him) is for hs own protection and preservation. he acts this way because there's nothing more dangerous than letting someone truly know him bc that's just another avenue to be exploited and he doesn't want that!!!!!! he is scared shitless and thew fast he fgell in love with u while trying to seduce him is probably super goddamn scary tp him bc he hasnt had that in 200 YEARS!!!

PERSONALLY AT HIS CORE i DON'T THI NK HE'S A BAD guy he\s just scared and confused and hurting and he doesn't wanna let his guard down and that makes him more scared bc no one has bothered to know him in 200 years. my man is scared of being percieved.

AND DESPITE ALL OF THAT HE TRIED HIS BETS TO BE A GOOD PERSON IF THAT S WHAT YOU ENCOURAGE HIM TO DO!!!!!! He\s selfish and doesn't like to help others bc no one helped him bt that does not make him uncaring or cruel. he is not a good person but he's trying his best ok and it's hard but he does really well all things considered.

i fuckin forgot where I was goin with this and I'll b sure to write a coherent character analysis when I'm sober but fuck man. I love him so fucking much. my own trauma is super similar and i probably project on hi m a little too much bc of that but man he's my fuckin blorbo and I have so many thoughts and feelings that my lil heary cannot process when i'm tipsy. i love him so much. I give up trying to make a coherent point rn byt he\s my poor sping wet lil meow meow and i love him so so sos sos o much aaaaaaa

[totally-sapphic-posts]

I'm sorry maybe this isn't gonna be entertaining. Can I have an advice? I met this person online, we chat sometimes mostly in groups but this time I adventure to chat one on one a little more. Days goes by and we talk a little more, nothing serious, just two strangers sharing thoughts. one day she had a problem and said I was the only one talking with her and she needed to let that out,we talked, she calmed down, we were fine. Since then we started talking a little more and more, about our day, jobs, family, share videos, say gm and gn. She had all my attention and I think I had hers. Until one day I said gm and there were no answer until hours later, strange, I ask later if she was busy and her answer was no. Days go by and we talked less, hours went by without answer, no gm texts, nothing about her day, after a couple weeks I ask her if something happened, I feel her distance, she said no, it's that sometimes she needs attention and sometimes she fixated in other thing but that I don't have nothing to worry about. But nothing changed, more weeks and more distance, a little worse, I noticed she wasnt sharing anything with me anymore, not her day, thoughs, plans, videos, pictures, we talked everyday but much less and hours apart when it used to be minutes, it was like she forgets my message or she didn't wanna answer me, bc I knew she talk on the group and with others but not me. I approached again and ask if she wanted this, if she didn't want to talk to me I would understand but please tell me. She said yes and no, yes because she felt a connection with me and no bc she wasn't good mentally and didn't want to connect emotionally and she knew she wasn't a good friend rn. I said she hasn't to be perfect but I needed to know that she still care for us, she said yes. I wanted to talk about a way that she felt okay not talking with me if she doesn't want to but letting me know she was okay or at least think about me, she said later. We talked two more days with the same answer after hours, you could tell it was when she didn't have anything else to do or talk with. And then.. we didn't talk for three weeks. We were chatting and I did a comment about something, I answered and she never replied, she didn't even open the chat, until weeks later. This group where we met, I keep my distance from, I don't talk there anymore for various reasons, but she's still there and talk with everyone at any time, actually it appears she had a gf there now. I don't know if I love her like more than a friend, I care deeply for her. I don't know if I'm overreacting or shouldn't feel like trash. I've been months crying waiting for her, wondering what I did wrong. I don't know what to do anymore . I'm sorry this is too long, can someone advise or k*ll me. .?

I’m so sorry this happened to you. If she’s moved on, just know it isn’t your fault. And just because she wasn’t in a good mental space doesn’t mean you can’t be upset about how all of this has made you feel. You didn’t do anything wrong and it sounds like she just didn’t have the capacity at that moment to maintain anything. I can’t say much about her since I don’t know her, but I can say that you don’t need to blame yourself for how things went.

Allow yourself to be sad. Process everything that has happened and how you’re feeling about everything. It’s really important that you process your feelings and allow yourself to feel. Be kind to yourself as you heal, and when you’re ready, move on from her. Because, while she may be struggling mentally, you don’t need to allow her to make you feel bad.

Wishing you the best ❤️