#mostly over or next to his moles

[luxeberries]

i actually really really want to write an actual steddie fic for this. is that considered crack taken seriously? im taking it so seriously

[yandere-kokeshi]

NSFW Alphabet Of Yandere John “Captain” Price

Warnings: Pure filth – MINORS DNI!

A/N: Like the last post, Price won! Feel free to participate in the next poll for these guys! <3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

— It’s natural for him to care for you afterward, deeming it his second-favorite part. John’s hands are grasping at you, his warm voice praising you as he kisses your cheeks. He lovingly drags his thumb and fingers over your moles, scars, and many marks, before playfully rubbing his beard into your neck, chuckling at your squealing expression. It only lasts a few minutes before he swiftly gets up, the bed creaking from his weight, and looking over at you with a smile. 

John effortlessly enjoys sharing non-sexual bath time after a few sessions. He loves starting it, the bath filling up the tub, warming up and bathing with you, dragging the soaked rag around your stiffen areas, such as your shoulders and back. It relaxes him in some way. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

— For himself, he’s most proud of his physique – mostly his shoulders and hands. They’re both rough in many aspects, having prominent veins, and a different variety of scars. Even though they’ve done bad things, he uses them to pleasure you in many ways; digging the knots out of your back, or throwing your legs over his shoulders and making you cum with his hands. It’s useful in many aspects, no?

As for you, it’s a mixture of your hips and ass. Both of them are squeezed so often, that it’s sure he’s obsessed. But he never denies it when asked. They’re constantly being harassed by his hands by grasping, pinching, stroking, kissing, and biting them. Would happily spend all day on and in them if he could. He smirks like a mad man if you’re on the chubbier side, feeling the plump flesh escape between his fingers. It’s like heaven towards him. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

— Jonathon has a lot of it stored, which means he enjoys doing it in all of your holes. He prefers being inside of you when he cums, but when he can’t, he leaves your others overflowing with his thick cum, including your mouth, and expects you to swallow. His favorite thing to do is to scoop it up, slowly fuck it back into you with his thick fingers to ensure you know his rules. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

— When he knows you two are going to be separated for a long period of time, somehow a pair of your boxers makes it into his pocket as he does the washing. 

When he’s in his office, alone, all pent-up from the day, and needs something relieving, he finds your sweet smell the most intoxicating. He can finish in minutes with your scent of you pressed against his nose. And whilst it isn’t as good with him buried between your legs or having you on top of his lap, he enjoys cumming and dampening the fabric; satisfying his need, at least for now. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

— More experienced than he’d like to be. It’s no surprise he’s a proud man who likes to take his time meeting someone – which means night stands are off the table. In the past, John has had a few partners, men and women, nor is he afraid of saying it when questioned. Which means he knows a handful of tricks up his sleeves. 

So, when it comes down to you, he takes time with you. He loves getting to know your body, what makes you squirm, zip up, or make you the loudest. He’s a fast learner, and once he gets the hang of things, he gets the hang of it. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

— He prefers the good ol’ missionary and table-top. Jonathan enjoys seeing your face, watching how your nose scrunches in pleasure or the loud shrieks you give out. However, he really doesn’t mind other positions too; it just depends on the mood, pace, and place. 

However, having sex at his office and on his desk? Definitely makes him wild. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious at the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

— John isn’t all serious, but he’s certainly not telling jokes in bed either. He likes hearing your pleasure giggles, or gentle smiles whilst being intimate. He can’t help but smile in response, but undoubtedly zips you up, making your toes curl when he hits that sweet spot early. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

— John is hairy, deemed a ‘chunky bear’. He has dark-brown curls that are obnoxiously long, as well having a hairy chest and stomach that could be said, ‘out of control’. However, with how much care he takes with his mutton chops, he keeps everything downstairs equal; not too long nor too short, just the right length for you. 

As for you, he couldn’t care less. If you decide to shave, he’ll enjoy the smooth skin and suggest things on how not to cut yourself. And if you don’t? He’ll enjoy it just as much and make sure to have you screaming, and your eyes rolled by the end of it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

— It depends on the context, but he’s always a natural gentleman with a capitalized G. Always paying you extra attention during foreplay, and not rushing through. Being visibly romantic for special occasions like holidays, anniversaries, or birthday’s. He loves pampering you every time he can, words and soft touches included; slower, sensual moments, pressing his forehead to yours part way through the session. Holding you tight during sex, and squishes your hips as he cums, keeping the closeness into his aftercare. 

But, if he’s been away from you – it’s rough, desperate, and too possessive to the point you can’t even leave the bedroom after cumming a few times. His arms are gluing you to him. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

— He rather ignores his needs, as much as he’d rather deny it. He doesn’t use porn to satisfy himself; rather, restraining his needs till he can see you. Which, funnily enough, makes him more desperate as he tries to keep his obvious erection down as he works in his office. But, it only resorts to nagging him more, causing him to be frustrated and snappy – but, he can always rely on you, his beloved darling, right? A phone call won’t hurt.  

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks — named 4)

Breeding: Regardless of your gender, he loves filling you up where it overflows. But it’s more in a possessive strike, wanting you to be tied to him forever. Regardless, it feels filthy, filling, and extremely warm to stay in. And John enjoys every part of it like a nasty man he is. 

Cockwarming: After a hard day, whether at work or simply socializing when he doesn’t want to, he enjoys spending the rest of the few hours balls deep in you. It doesn’t lead to sex all the time. He enjoys feeling your warmth, your own head buried in his neck to muffle the pleasured sounds, and your body soon-quivering makes his pride swarm inside. 

Hair pulling: He mostly likes it on him. Jonathan enjoys feeling your fingers dig through his locks, stump nails scratching at his scalp before yanking his hair in pleasure. To him, it shows he’s doing a damn good job. But he also likes the spike of slight pain.

Teasing: It sides with edging. John adores making you beg for him, lingering touches that disappear too fast or too slow. A kiss that’s too addicting and you need more. Yet, he chuckles and makes you work for it. 

L = Location (favorite places to have intercourse)

— He prefers somewhere private, an atmosphere that’s comfortable and familiar. He likes it behind closed doors, taking his beloved with respect. So naturally, the bedroom and the house are his go-to; the kitchen being his second-favorite. 

However, he really enjoys doing it in his quarters, in his office, and in his chair.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

— It’s two things: you and his sensitive nipples. He gets turned on easily, the way your face lights up when you see him, how you react in such a natural, obedient way that has his cock tightening in his boxers. But, his nipples are just as reactive. Even a slight glide over his teats has John have an aching issue that needs to be solved now.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)

— Anything involving physically harming you, degradation, or blood. He’s also hesitant to bring his own work to bed, the word Captain, specifically. He’s fine with a little breath play, or small spanking, but anything beyond, ‘the beyond’, is an immediate no. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

— Likes them both equally; perfect balance. They both make him happy. 

As for you, John is more appealing to giving you oral than the reverse. He could spend hours between your legs, holding your hips down and taking his time on making you cum. Or bringing you to the edge, again and again, but denying you when you’ve been bad. His favorite way to reward you is to bend you over the table or push your chest to the bed, perfectly presenting your ass to him. His fingers spread you open, and his tongue will go everywhere. 

For him, he adores you sucking his cock. He’d never deny an offer when given the chance. John likes the way your lips look around him, watching you take him whole. Feeling your tongue against his length. Fucking your face when he’s near his own orgasm, grinding and bucking his hips in desperation when you decide to tease him. It makes him rowdy and demanding. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

— It varies, depending on both of your moods and the time when he comes home. But one thing is that it’s never one pace. It either starts with him being incredibly hot, heavy, and rough; giving you many hickeys over your body and being a sly man for edging then slowing down over time. The deep, hard strokes and thrusts that leave you breathless and responding in moans. 

Or being really slow and sensual, savoring every moment that he touches you and builds up to a heavy pace. His hands finding your hips, grinding his pelvic bone against yours and chuckling at your gasped state. His balls slapping against your body as he huffs at the 2nd round. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

— Not a fan. He prefers the real deal, wanting to feel and touch you before making you cum a few times; practically savoring you. But, you will never catch him denying a chance to fuck you. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

— He’s open to whatever idea you want to express. As long as they don’t go along his ‘no’s’, he’s all going for it. 

As for risks, they’re a big part of his life. However, getting caught doing anything sexual, especially by one of his trusted men or god forbid Laswell, could ruin his career and let alone his mental state. Though, he does think – maybe even could persuade you – into being forced to be quiet, especially in an area where you wouldn’t necessarily want to be in, is kind of arousing. The adrenaline, the completely unaware people around the base, your attempts to remain quiet makes his pleasure spike. He would love to try it, wouldn’t you like too? 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

— Whilst he may not be the same 20-year-old he once was, he can still last a few. John can manage two rounds, three on a perfect day, but pushing it has him cranky. And he’s usually able to last a bit, but that depends on how you feel. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

— He’s not a fan of them, seeing that he, himself, can pleasure you in ways that are better than some silicone. However, if you’ve been bad, the yes. Expect some toys — and anal — to come into play until you can start acting right.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

— A big tease. Drags things out so agonizing that it leaves you on the bridge of crying. He’ll slick himself along your entrance, thrust in a pace he knows you love, praising and grunting dirty words in your ear until you’re right there–…! Only for Jonathon to smirk, commanding you to stay put until he says you can move. His fingers play with your nipples, gently pulling as he finally pushes you over the edge and makes you cum too many to count as make-up. 

John will also send you messages, some risky photos or rather promises of what’s to come later that night and what he’s going to do to you once you two are home. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

— He’s loud in aspects of talking. Praises, dirty talk that turn into long muffled groans. Shuffles between low growls, grunts, and moans – a definite habit of more subtle sounds and signs of pleasure. A throaty low growl when he enters you, voice going up in pitch before he cums, and noses your neck, fingers squeezing your skin when he gets territorial. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

— He really enjoys breakfast in bed. His fake meal is a large plate with 3 sunny-side-up eggs, waffles with extra butter, and crispy bacon. But, he wants you for breakfast each morning when he can. It’s his favorite, especially waking you up with slurred moans.  

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes ;))

— John is around 6.5 inches, extremely thick, heavy in a sense he bounces whenever he takes off his boxers, and stretches most holes; it takes a lot of prepping. Circumcised, his foreskin doesn’t cover all the way, just enough for his tip to peak through. Has some prominent veins, thick and fat, where you can feel it. He has a full rug trail.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

— It’s not through the roof, but it isn’t low either; in-the-between. He can control himself if needed. When he’s home, you guys have sex a few times a week. Much more if he’s stressed or annoyed. But one thing is sure, you’ll know it’s at its peak for him.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterward)

— Contrary to popular belief, he doesn’t get up and smoke a fat cigar. Instead, he stays with you – huddled beneath you in the warm sheets, your head laying on top of his chest and his own arm hanging over you. He hums in appreciation when you wrap your arms around it, cuddling it closer to you. 

Likely, he falls asleep first, but can you blame him? He’s a busy man, with a busy life, and a hell of a token that he calls you. Though, don’t think of sneaking away – his hold on you is very tight for a reason. 

—

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© yandere-kokeshi 2024 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[starshideurfics]

Thirsty Thursday - Throat

steddie, getting together, aob, neck kink

Like, he gets it. Eddie knows that it’s borderline prude behavior to think this way. Steve was on the swim team for chrissakes, so it isn’t like he’s shy about his body.

But his neck is ALWAYS on display. Showing off those pretty moles, the hard lines of his ligaments, the prominence of his adam’s apple, the slight swell of his mating gland peeking over his shirt collar.

Eddie can’t help staring, but he tries his best to hide his glances.

Even on the days Steve wears collared shirts—and he mostly does, what with all the polos—it’s like he’s trying to draw attention to the parts of his neck that remain uncovered.

It especially doesn’t help that they’ve been dancing around each other for months, flirting openly.

Eddie only does when they’re with other people, an excuse to pass it off as a joke.

A way to protect his heart by convincing himself Steve is kidding, too. 

At least until he goes home, and in the darkness of his own room he lets his mind wander to the beauty of Steve’s throat.

He holds the sleep tee Steve borrowed the last time he crashed at the trailer because he was too faded to drive home, the earthy smell of weed mixing with his cherrywood scent and going right to Eddie’s head.

It takes less than a minute for him to come in his fist, the image of Steve presenting his throat for Eddie’s teeth spurring him on and filling his knot.

His face burns with shame as he reaches for tissues to clean the mess, then he drifts to sleep and dreams of traded bites.

Dreams of sweeter words whispered at his ear as Steve welcomes him into the hot clutch of his body.

He wakes up hard or sticky or both most days.

But now they’re hanging out, just the two of them since Robin finally got her shit together and has a date. He and Steve spent an hour reassuring her that everything would be fine and giving her tips. She just left to meet Chrissy at the Hawk for the movie portion of their date.

Steve is leaning back in his chair, staring up at Eddie with the softest hint of a smile. “Whatcha thinking ‘bout?” he asks, never taking his eyes off the alpha.

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut and shakes his head. “Nothing, um, not a thing.”

“Liar.”

He sputters, dropping into the chair next to Steve’s as he chokes. “I’m not. Steve-”

“Eddie.” Steve’s eyes are hard. Serious as he sits up and sensually drags his fingers across his collarbone. “I know you’ve been looking at me.” He shrugs out of his jacket.

Angles his chin to draw his eye along the line of his throat. “But I don’t think you know how I’ve been looking at you.”

Eddie chokes again, manages to squeak, “What?” as Steve gets to his feet. He’s sure his scent has gone bitter in his confusion.

“When you put your hair up,” Steve murmurs, deft fingers gathering Eddie’s brushed out curls to hold at the back of his head. “Then I get to look too, can smell you better.”

Swallowing hard, Eddie feels his throat bob, the motion drawing Steve’s dark eyes.

“Looking at you makes my teeth hurt,” Eddie whispers, breathing through his mouth and showing off his descended fangs. “You’re so fucking perfe—”

Everything moves so fast then: Steve drops into his lap, nose nuzzling his neck as he breathes deep. Moans, “Eddie, please.”

His mouth finds its way to Steve’s neck, sucks a hickey below his ear before their lips ever meet.

—

After that, Steve keeps his neck more covered. At least his mating gland for sure is hidden by his shirt collar.

It’s just for his alpha now.

[bangchanisinmymind]

dating habits

pairing; bangchan x reader; fluff-suggestive

Hugs : we all know his opinion on hugs and I genuinely believe he would hug you with the tiniest chance he have. Like when you stay with him at the studio he'll just make you sit on his lap and wrap his arms around you while you both listen to the new melody he made through the speakers (not really loud the whole situation is soft now <3). Or when you're both home and you're cooking or looking through the window he'll definitely hug you from behind putting his chin on your shoulder and you slid your arm down to his.

Kisses : I firmly believe he would kiss your moles. Since he found out you have those tiny dots all over your body he kissed whichever was closer to him. When he lays his head on your shoulder he kisses the one on your collarbones, when he kisses your lips he never misses the one on your chin, while he's going down on you he kisses the one between your breasts, on your ribs and tummy.

Taking care of you : he knows you skip dinner most of the time because of you being tired returning home so he always has a sandwich for you in the fridge and makes sure you ate it when he comes home. Also he wants to make sure you dress well so he gets you clothes from other countries when he's on tour he believes you'll like and sometimes when he returns home and you're asleep he picks out an outfit for you to wear in the morning <3

Sleeping : he always cuddle you to sleep ALWAYS. He absolutely adores when you use his body as a pillow, he likes it the most when you bury your face in his chest because he gets to smell and play with your hair (let's you hug his pillow when he's late :')n. Other than that he always makes sure you have set your alarm for the next day and brings a glass of water so if you need it throughout the night you won't have to go to the kitchen <3

Touching in general : when he drives he will put his hand on your thigh (FOR SURE). Always finds a way to touch you no matter who is watching, he doesn't mind being teased after you leave the room by his members or his family for telling you to sit on his lap when y'all are in the living room ( especially when there is not that much space or he thinks you might be uncomfortable).

Together stuff : he tries to match your showering schedule so you can "save water" together, it's not usually that hot, it's more like soft and sweet and taking care of each other :'). Lives for sleepover nights with the members because he can show all his love and affection for everyone (but mostly you ofc) and definitely feels like a proud dad having his loved ones all together spending time. Talking is everything for him, can talk with you all day about every single thing without getting bored but only loving you more every time

18+ : HEAR ME OUT. MAN LOVES YOU SITTING ON HIS FACE that's all I have to say. He loves to please you and see that fucked out look on your face after <3. One of his biggest kinks is being called daddy as known so he'll absolutely love it when you call him like that or refer to yourself as babygirl or something like "daddy's little girl" he might cum the moment he hears you. Loves seeing you in lingerie 🙈 he won't be very vocal about it but you can tell by the look of his eyes.

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[gojoidyll]

Thinking of Wriothesley wrongly accusing you in the Fortress of Meropide.

You were a new recruit within the garde and your first assignment just so happened to be keeping the order in the Fortress of Meropide. Your Boss? The infamous Wriothesley.

When you first met him, you couldn't help but to die on the inside. Despite being a garde and finishing at the top of your class, you were quite the meek individual and absolutely hated confrontation.

However, even as you stuttered over your words in a small greeting to the man, you couldn't deny his good looks. Your bleeding heart couldn't help but to swoon.

And as time passed, you would find yourself admiring his Grace from a distance. A giddy smile on your lips as you made it your secret mission to see him at least once a day. Do you ever plan on ever going up to talk to him, however? Never. Your introverted heart wouldn't be able to take it.

Well, until that all changed when you were forcefully dragged out of your bed in the gardes' dorms. Your eyes still bleary with sleep as you looked at your surroundings. What was your bed was now the office of the Duke of the Fortress of Meropide.

Finally realizing your situation, you tried to stand up but were forced back to your knees by the gardes holding your shoulders.

"Y- your Grace, w- what is going-?"

"Enough. You thought I wouldn't notice, right? Well, I'm done playing games. I'm going to get the answers I want put of you ome way or another." He knelt down and was about to grab your face between his fingers, but luckily - he was interrupted.

"STOP!!!"

Everyone seemed to look at the newcomer, "that's- that's not the spy!"

Wriothesley stood back up, a frown on his features.

"This garde fits the description, no?"

You looked in the newcomer's eyes, "well, they do have (color) hair and (color) eyes. Along with (color) skin but they don't have a scar on their neck or a mole beneath their right eye. You got the wrong garde..," the newcomer stressed.

And almost immediately at the declaration were you let go. Your arms, shoulders, and knees suddenly sore as you released the breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Everyone out for a moment. Except you."

You knew he was looking down at you without having to look up, and when everyone exited his office he finally held out his hand to you.

"Ahh, this is kind of awkward now and I know a simple apology won't do. So if you want to be transferred out of the Fortress I won't stop you."

You gently took his hand, form still shaking.

"I'm .. ok .. it was an honest mistake. Though, if you were to, I don't know, pay for my breakfast then I would mostly like forget this ever happened."

Yeah, you were still shaken up from this whole thing. But ... food was now on your mind now that the danger of being interrogated for a crime you didn't commit was out of the way.

Wriothesley smiled lightly, "what about I treat you to dinner later too?"

"Sounds like a deal."

Little did you know, however, was that one breakfast and dinner turned into lunch the next day. Then turned into a date up on the surface. Then turned into you sleeping in his bed.

[ladykailitha]

Across a Crowded Room Part 3

Oops! This has five chapters not four. So I might double up next week depending on how far in the other stories I get.

This is a long boy. Longer than I usually make parts, but there was no place to break it without slowly down the plot.

Also heads up, if you're familiar with me at all, you know that I tend to write a nuanced, but mostly unfavorable Nancy. I like the character, (I know it doesn't seem like it) but she's isn't a good person. So when I write her, she isn't a good person especially if I'm writing post canon (ish, Eddie lives) but she is brave, she is strong, and she is tenacious.

So you are a fan of Nancy and don't like the way I write her in this story, please hit the back button, not the comment section. Please?

Eddie and Robin don't come out great in this chapter, either, but at least they're trying.

And sexy times ahead.

Part 1 Part 2

****

Eddie shook his head as he watched Steve go. His little plan about moving out to Cali to be with Eddie made him so happy. That Steve wanted to be with him even if that meant being further away from Robin. And wasn’t that the be all, end all.

Steve was out in no time at all, tight jeans and grey Henley. Eddie wanted nothing more to rip them off of him and toss him into bed to ravish him.

Steve caught his heated glance and winked at him.

“We’ve got plenty of time for that, rockstar,” he said, voice low and dangerous, “you’re here all week.”

The fire in Eddie’s gut didn’t quench, it ignited. “Same goes for the apartment hunt, honey.” He pulled Steve in close, wrapping one arm around his waist. “I could please you in that bed of yours or even on the sofa if you’re eager enough.”

Steve felt a shiver down his spine and his eyelids drooped. “Yeah, and just how would you please me, Eds?” He placed both arms around his neck.

“I’d start with these two little moles,” Eddie purred, licking the spot he had just described.

Steve let out a low moan. “And then?”

“Then I would get my hands on that glorious ass,” Eddie continued. He went back to licking and kissing that part on Steve’s neck, but his hands cupped his ass and brought Steve flush against him.

“Eddie...” Steve whined. He was so hard.

“You like that?” Eddie cooed. “Then after bringing you close, I would let my hands roam. In your hair, under your shirt; your back, your stomach.”

Steve legs started to shake as Eddie did just that.

“Hmm...” he purred into Steve’s ear, “looks like we’re gonna need to lie you down, sweetness. What’s it going to be, the bedroom or the sofa?”

Steve’s hands slid down Eddie’s arms, rubbing them up and down as he thought about it. “Bedroom. Definitely the bedroom.”

Eddie grinned and spun Steve around. “Lead the way, babe.”

Steve scrambled to the bedroom, Eddie hot on his heels. Eddie slammed the door behind them as Steve sat on the edge of the bed. Eddie prowled his way to his boy, who smirked up at him.

Eddie licked his lips. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous. I can’t want to take you apart.”

“Come get me.”

Eddie proceeded to just that. Clothes were quickly dispatched and Steve lay on the bed looking up at Eddie with wide-eye wonder.

Eddie crawled over top of him and kissed him deeply. Hands roamed again, mapping out every freckle, every mole, every scar, every line. He kissed the spots he found he couldn’t get enough of.

Steve moaned and whined in pleasure as Eddie made his way down his body.

“You got condoms, big boy?” Eddie asked, face directly above Steve’s cock.

Steve pulled out a box and tossed it at him.

“Keep these under your pillow, Stevie?” Eddie admonished playfully. “Such a dirty boy.”

Steve’s cock twitched in response and Eddie grinned. He quickly sheathed both of their cocks and then went to town, licking and sucking Steve off.

Steve’s hands buried themselves into Eddie’s hair, trying not buck into those perfect lips.

Eddie reached underneath Steve’s balls and pressed a finger in. Steve nearly jackknifed off the bed.

“Drawer!” he panted. “Lube in drawer.” His hand flailed at his nightstand and Eddie grinned.

“I should have asked if you had any, baby,” Eddie said. “Let’s make this really easy for you.”

He grabbed the lube and looked at the bottle. “Strawberry passion fruit?” He raised an eyebrow.

“I like the flavor,” Steve grunted.

Eddie shrugged and coated his fingers with the stuff. He lowered himself back onto Steve’s cock and then slow pressed one finger to Steve’s entrance.

Steve moaned as Eddie pressed past the rim and into his ass. It was all he could do to not just come down Eddie’s throat in a heartbeat. Not that he could do that with the condom in the way. But that’s what it felt like. The second finger joined the first and Steve was a goner. His back arched as he emptied his load straight into Eddie’s hot mouth.

Eddie pulled off with a slick pop and stared down at the very debauched Steve Harrington. He removed Steve’s condom and tossed it away after tying it off.

“Shit, sweetheart,” he murmured. “That was the hottest thing ever.”

Steve blushed and the blush went all the way to his nipples to Eddie’s enjoyment and Steve’s chagrin.

“Just you wait, Stevie,” Eddie purred, placing a kiss on Steve’s overheated stomach. “There’s more good coming for you.”

“Eds...”

Eddie kissed his inner thigh and began working Steve open again. Once he was satisfied that Steve would be able to take him without discomfort, he pulled his fingers out.

“Please...” Steve begged.

Eddie rubbed his hands soothingly on Steve’s thighs as he lined himself up to his ass. “I’ve got you, honey. I promise to make you feel good.”

“I trust you.”

And if that wasn’t the kicker, Eddie didn’t know what was.

He went in slow until his hips were flush against Steve’s beautiful ass and then he immediately picked up the pace.

Steve moans became cries and Eddie could tell that it felt good from the way gripped the sheets.

“I’m not going to last long, you feel to good.”

“I wanna see,” Steve murmured breathlessly. “I wanna see you come, Eds.”

One, two...

And then he stilled, filling the condom with his load. Steve was nearly sobbing from the intense pleasure.

Eddie pulled out and disposed of his condom. Steve collapsed on the mattress, sated at last.

Eddie laid down next to him and they cuddled together as they came down from the high of really good sex.

“Holy shit,” Steve said once his brain came back online. “What was that?”

Eddie chuckled, nuzzling Steve’s neck. “I call it a suck and fuck.”

Steve threw back his head and laughed. “Because of course you do.”

“It’s good to see you so happy, Stevie,” Eddie murmured. “You know, when I first arrived at the bar and saw you with your friends, I thought ‘he’s happier without me’, but now that I see you now, and how much happier you are now. There’s no contest. I make you happy. I make you happy. I make you happy. And there is nothing better in the world than that.”

Steve kissed him. “Is that why Robin was pissed when you said the plan was for you to move to Chicago, because you thought I didn’t need you?”

Eddie nodded. “She made me see reason.”

“I’m glad.”

They cuddled for a bit longer before they hopped into the shower to get cleaned up and to spend more time in each other’s arms before facing the world yet again.

****

Steve was starting to get a migraine. Well, okay not really. But that’s what apartment hunting was starting to feel like.

Their first day had been a complete bust. Too high of a down payment. Shitty landlords. Beautiful pictures, horrible reality. Bad neighborhoods.

So they decided to go to dinner with Robin to blow off some steam after such a crappy afternoon.

“I’m just grateful to be sleeping on Nancy’s couch until I can find a place,” Robin said in sympathy.

“How is Nancy and Jonathan?” Eddie asked.

Steve took a drink to hide his grimace. It bothered him that his two best friends were still in contact with his ex and the guy she cheated on him with, but he couldn’t tell them why it bothered him without completely blowing up Robin’s living arrangement. So he kept his mouth shut.

“They’re taking a break,” Robin said with a wince of her own. “She’s pissed at his lack of ambition and he’s pissed she cost him a high paying photography gig by shooting off her mouth to the wrong person at the wrong time.”

Steve ducked his head because the was no glass big enough in the world that he could lift to hide his gleeful expression. He fiddled with his napkin for something to do with his hands.

“That’s rough,” Eddie was saying. “I was rooting for them, you know?”

Robin nodded. “They were cute together.”

Just then Steve was spared the mortification of shouting out that she cheated on him by the waiter coming up to take their drink and appetizer order.

“I’ll drive,” Robin said. “You order whatever you like.”

Steve ordered a strawberry daiquiri and Eddie snorted into his water glass. Robin rolled her eyes.

“Of course you did,” she huffed. “I’m just surprised you two made it out of the apartment at all, if I’m honest.”

“Just a whiskey for me,” Eddie told the waiter to get out of this suddenly very awkward conversation.

“I’ll take a cherry Coke, please.”

Once the waiter had gone, Steve went back to playing with his napkin.

Their drinks arrived and then their appetizer. They ordered their main as they happily munched on their nachos.

About half way through dinner Robin rolled. “Come on, Steve. It’s not like you can avoid talking about her forever. You two broke up before you even met Eddie and me.”

Steve just shrugged, twisting his napkin further. He was sure it was going to be in pieces before this meal was over.

Eddie looked between them in confusion. “Who, what now?”

“Nancy,” Robin said. “He always gets super quiet and broody when I bring her up.”

Eddie frowned. “Hey, man–”

“Don’t call me ‘man’, we fucked!” Steve spat. He got up quickly from the table and stormed out of the restaurant.

Once he was out onto the pavement he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. A minute later, Eddie was lighting one up next to him.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart,” Eddie muttered. “Going back to calling you ‘man’ after all the sweet nicknames I had been calling you all day was wrong.”

Steve’s hand shook as he let out an exhale of smoke. “I guess I just don’t get why you two are friends with her.”

Eddie sighed. This is the one sticking point he had with Steve. Nancy Wheeler. “I know she was your ex, but you two seemed to put it past at the gang get togethers, so I thought you were okay. But obviously not and I don’t why.”

Steve looked up at him with tears glittering on his eyelashes. “Isn’t it enough for me to say that she hurt me as the reason?”

Eddie sighed and pulled Steve in close. Steve went, a little reluctantly, but he went. He finished his cigarette, tucked under his arm.

Robin came out just as they were finishing their cigarettes. She handed Eddie his credit card and sack that held the remains of their dinner in to go containers.

“Let’s go home.”

She led the way to the car and slipped into the driver’s seat.

Eddie paused when Steve got in the back. He shared a panicked look with Robin, before he got in on the side behind her. He slid all the way to the middle to wrap his arms around Steve.

Robin looked at them in the rearview mirror and sighed.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” she said softly. “I know bringing her up upsets you and I do it anyway. First relationships are complicated and yours more then most.”

“Baby?” Eddie asked. “Why did you invite Jonathan and Nancy if being around them upset you this much?”

Steve was quiet for a moment. “Joyce told me I was being rude inviting Will and Mike, but not their older siblings and if I continued to snub them, she would stop Will from coming. And if Will didn’t come...”

“Mike wouldn’t come,” Eddie finished. “And if Mike didn’t come, neither would El, starting this chain reaction where it would be maybe the Sinclairs if they didn’t side with the others. Shit, baby, I had no idea.”

Steve shrugged.

“Uh uh,” Eddie said fiercely. “This is something that has been hurting you for years and we just ignored it. You have a right to be upset.”

“He’s right, Steve,” Robin said. “We made you feel like you couldn’t come to us with what you were feeling and I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t have a lot of friends that were girls at the time and I felt like if I brought it up it would really splinter the group.”

Eddie kissed the top of his head.

The car lapsed into silence the rest of the way home. Robin pulled into their covered parking and turned off the ignition.

“What do you want me to do, dingus?” she asked softly. “If you don’t want me to bunk with her I won’t. You are more important to me than she is.”

“But what will you do until you find a place?” Steve asked in dismay.

“I’ll figure it out,” she said. “I can talk to my boss and see about getting temporary housing or if she knows a good cheap motel.”

Steve let out a shuddering breath and decided to tell them the truth that had been weighing on him all these years.

“She told me she never loved me,” he whispered, “and that everything we had was bullshit.”

Robin whipped around in the front seat to stare at him in shock.

“She said what?!”

Eddie was twisting in his seat too. “Stevie...”

“I thought it was just a fight,” he continued. “But apparently she thought she was clear that we were through and slept with Jonathan like literally the next day.”

The silence in the car was deafening and Steve was starting to panic. “I shouldn’t have said anything.” He undid his seatbelt and struggled to get out of the car, but Eddie was still wrapped around him.

“No, baby,” Eddie murmured. “You really should have. You’ve been holding onto this pain, with the people you care about the most telling you to get over it.”

“This is so messed up,” Robin whispered in anguish. “Do you know what she says happened between you?”

Steve stopped struggling and shook his head.

“That you were just weren’t right for each other and went your separate ways,” Eddie said quietly.

Steve snorted. “That’s the most watered down, polite version of that she could have possibly said.”

“It also removes her from all responsibility from her actions,” Robin hissed. “I’m so angry right now!” She hit the steering wheel. “Fuck! I told Kendra I would be sleeping over there tonight, but all I want to do is call Nancy and bitch her out. Jesus fuck!”

Steve got out of the car and hurried to the driver’s side. He opened the door and pulled her out into a hug. “I appreciate you. I love you for being angry on my behalf. But go. Talk to Kendra, rant about it. But don’t call or text Nancy until tomorrow, okay? Not even drunk. Promise me?”

Robin sank into his arms and sighed. “I promise. But the fact that she kept lying about it and telling me that you were just bitter that she found someone else so soon just makes me so angry.”

Eddie got out and closed the door behind him. He walked around to the side of the car that they were standing on and leaned against the hood of the car with his arms and legs crossed.

“I feel like such a bad friend that we took what she said at face value,” he muttered darkly.

“Guys, no!” Steve protested. “I should have told you but I was so ashamed by the whole thing. We were together for two years and I didn’t know she didn’t love me? Like were there signs I missed, thinking everything was perfect? I just felt so stupid.”

“Do you need me to stay?” Robin asked. “Because I will. I’ll call Kendra right now and sleep over tomorrow.”

Steve shook his head. “I think I just need a tub of cookie dough ice cream, The Lizzy Bennett Diaries, and a bottle of wine tonight.”

She kissed his cheek fiercely. “I love you, dingus. Never forget that. Even when I’m in New York. Okay?”

He nodded and she squeezed him tightly before letting him go. She handed him back his keys and made her way up to their apartment.

“Do you want me to stay or go, babe?” Eddie asked, his voice cracking with emotion.

“You have that expensive hotel you’re paying for, Eds,” Steve said with a chuckle. “You should use it.”

Eddie deflated and nodded, looking away.

Steve walked up to him and kissed him deeply. “I forgive you both. I’m not mad, I’m just upset, and we are not through. You’ve got me for life, but I just need a night to myself, okay?”

Eddie let out a shuddering breath. “Yeah, okay, Stevie. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry tonight went down the way it did. That comment about rooting for Nancy and Jonathan was out of line even without the stuff you told us tonight. You deserve better than that.” He took Steve face in his hands. “And this is my promise: I will always strive to be your port in the storm, that now matter what comes your way, you can always depend on me to take your side.”

Eddie kissed him deeply. They said goodbye and Eddie was driving off when Robin came down the stairs with her overnight bag.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” she said tenderly.

Steve nodded. “Like I told Eddie, I forgive you guys, I just need time to sort out my feelings about everything. It’s been a crazy twenty four hours and I need to figure out what I want.”

Robin kissed his cheek and then said goodbye.

Steve watched her drive off with a sense of relief. Not because they were gone, but because the truth was out and he felt lighter for it.

****

Part 4 Part 5

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

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@useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95

[toxic3mmy]

I’m having a bad case of baby fever since I’m ovulating hard and I need fic of quackity with gf who’s ovulating like crazy and who’s begging for a baby

ooo baby fever!!! the only person in the world that i would ever want a baby w is alex😞😞 but yes, i got u my lovely <33 thx for the request

[also it cane out a bit diff than what u asked for im sorryyyy!! dont hate me bbg💔💔]

prompt: alex dealing with a baby fever filled gf

no smut but mentions of it ofc!!

everywhere you look, there’s babies. on tv commercials, at your job, even at the grocery store there’s always a baby who won’t stop smiling and cooing your way.

and who would make a cute baby? alex, your boyfriend, that’s who!

he has sparkling honey brown eyes with dark lashes framing them perfectly. his fair skin that has freckles and beautiful face moles. and his hair! he has a full head of hair that would look absolutely perfect on a sweet little baby.

lately, on your free time, you were indulging in this want and need and desire for a baby of your own. you were sneakily watching mommy and baby vlogs. you loved seeing their belly grow and their journey through their pregnancy. you even subscribed yourself to a baby magazine and it was what you looked forward to every time you checked your mail.

but you hid all of this from alex. you knew he probably wouldn’t understand. just how most men don’t understand why women obsessed over weddings and wedding planning. it also didn’t help that you were definitely ovulating.

and right now, you were sat listening to your boyfriend going on about his day. well, not really listening. more like admiring him and imagining him as a father and wow did that turn you on.

“what about you? how was your day?” alex asked suddenly

“oh, you know, i mostly just did my online coursework and cleaned the house a bit. i’ve been bored since you went out..” you said, trying to be inconspicuous

“trust me, i missed you too. now let’s eat. the food you made smells amazing” alex said, getting up to serve himself a plate

he served two plates of food, one for you and one for him. the two of you ate in mostly silence, with casual conversation here and there. once you finished eating, alex offered to wash the dishes since you did the cooking.

you sneakily pulled out your phone and scrolled through your pinterest. of course, you had baby related posts all over your feed and you loved it.

“babe.. this sponge sucks. where are the new ones we got the other day?” your boyfriend asked

“should be in the drawer next to the stove” you absentmindedly responded, eyes glued to your phone

alex opened the drawer and found your stash of baby magazines. he wasn’t blind, he knew what you had been obsessing over lately. this was the perfect time to bring it up. so he grabbed a sponge and washed the dishes. after drying his hands, he turned to face you.

“so… you’ve only been studying all day huh?” alex smirked, holding up one of your prized magazines

your eyes widened. you were at a loss for words.

“i-i uh… my sister is pregnant and um she sent me those to help her pick stuff out and—”

“hmm, addressed to our home to ms. y/n” alex interrupted

“do you think i don’t know by now? i see the way you’ve been looking at anything baby related online. i know you always volunteer to do the grocery shopping just for the chance of running into some mother with a baby… my question here is, why hide it?”

“i didn’t think you’d understand… i know how guys get when their girlfriends start talking about babies and i don’t know. i didn’t want to upset you. i didn’t want to make things weird between us..” you explained softly, expecting alex to get upset

he walked closer to where you were sitting and tucked your hair behind your ear gently.

“i could never be upset with you princesa. you don’t have to hide things like this from me. you know i love kids just as much as you do” he reassured you

you nodded sadly, still feeling a sense of guilt.

“why don’t we start trying?”

your eyes lit up and a huge grin was etched onto your face.

“you really mean it?” you asked and alex nodded with a smile on his face

“i would just adore having a little munchkin running around here. i think you’d be a spectacular mother y/n. i can just imagine them having your big ‘ol eyes and your pretty lips” he caressed your face sweetly

“and your gorgeous freckles… oh my god alex! we would have the most adorable baby in the whole wide world! do you actually want to start trying?”

“yes i do, princesa. we’re in a good place financially and also in a healthy place in our relationship. i wouldn’t want to have a baby with anyone else but you” he smiled

“you’re going to be such an amazing dad. you don’t know how much i’ve daydreamed about you holding our baby in your strong sexy arms. the way you would be super protective over them. i just know you’d have our baby on your chest at all times. you’re so innocent and precious and so so good with kids alex. you are definitely daddy material” you stood from your seat and reached out to hold his hand

“also.. i may or may not pay attention to your ovulation period…” he said seductively

“what?! why? you’re a weirdo!” you teased him

“no! i mean i pay attention to when you write those notes on our calendar! you freak” alex was red in the face and you couldn’t help but laugh at his flustered expression

while you were too busy laughing, he suddenly stood up and pushed you against the wall nearby, trapping you there.

“you’re probably really sensitive right now, aren’t you?” his voice came out in a darker tone

“m-maybe…”

“let me make love to you, princesa. quiero impregnarte ahora mismo. quiero que me sientes y que sientes que te hago la mama de mis hijos chula…” he said, making sure to kiss your neck while he spoke

all you could do was nod. his words alone made you so wet and needy for him already.

“i’ll make sure that after tonight, you’ll definitely become a mother” he smirked, dragging you to your shared bedroom

[astermath]

my muse.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: a short oneshot of steve's girlfriend painting him, and him being able to see his own beauty through your eyes.

word count: 1.1K

notes: got this cute idea out of nowhere, thought maybe steve would like to know how beautiful others think he is.

let me know if you'd like to be added to the tag list for further steve harrington related content!

“Is it done yet?”

Steve sits on a stool in front of the window in your atelier. The slowly dimming light of the sun setting illuminates him from the back, the lamp you have set up besides you letting you see him from the front.

“Almost Stevie, be patient.”

He’s been sitting perfectly still for over an hour. An admirable feat, to be honest. He’s not usually one for sitting idly at all, always fidgeting one way or another or wanting to move about.

But he’s been doing quite well. He wants to do well. For you. So you can do your thing.

He’s been secretly wanting to do this ever since he’s seen your paintings. You’re incredibly talented, something between a Monet and a Renoir. An incredible eye for colour and composition, but most of all, you like to paint people.

You do a hell of a job at capturing someone’s likeness, even through the lens of an impressionistic art style. Steve is sure you’ll make it big with your art one day. You told him most painters only get famous after they die, and that didn’t exactly sit well with him. He'd rather have you alive and famous, but mostly the first part.

You’d been going through a bit of an art block, and so you’ve went through your old sketchbooks. You realised there is a surprising, almost embarrassing, amount of drawings of your boyfriend in there. Like… Pages, upon pages. You’ve always thought he has this effortless, beautiful air about him that just made every pose look like it should be captured onto paper forever.

When you asked him if he wanted to model for your next painting, Steve's heart nearly leapt out of his chest. He's always adored your art, supporting you and your passion every step of the way, so to be immortalised on one of your canvases is a huge honour to him.

He was a bit nervous though. He knows you think he's the prettiest boy alive, and though he does think he's serviceable, he's not sure if he's painting worthy.

Still, who is he to deny his sweet girl of using him as a reference?

At first, it was hard. How in god's name do you capture someone as beautiful and complex as Steve Harrington onto something as simple as a blank canvas? You want it to be perfect. You want it to reflect the type of person he is. You want the adoring glint in those gorgeous brown eyes to come through, the dimple in his cheek when he smiles, the constellations of freckles and moles gracing his skin. In a sense, it has to be your best piece yet.

"Alright," you lean back for what feels like the hundredth time already, getting a good look at your work. You take a moment, deciding not to let your nerves get the best of you and not overthink it. The urge is there, but you'd feel awful about letting your boyfriend sit there for yet another hour.

"I think... I think I'm done." you put down your brush, clasping your paint clad hands together in your lap.

Steve perks up in that adorable way he tends to do when he's curious. "Really? Can I come see?"

You bite your lip, unsure once again if the painting truly reflects the beauty of its subject. You sigh, knowing nothing probably ever will. You nod, lifting your hand so you can beckon him over.

He can barely contain his excitement, breaking into a little jog as he makes his way over to you. His arm drapes over your shoulders as he positions himself besides you.

"Woah..." His eyes widen as he takes it all in. The entire artwork exudes warmth. A mix of yellows, oranges and pinks surround him in the way a beautiful sunset would, and his smile looks as if it could cure anything. The brush strokes are a bit experimental, but not messy. Nothing is accidental, every placement and detail has a reason. A purpose.

You nibble on the back of your finger, anxiously awaiting his approval. You find that the longer you look at your art, the more flaws you notice. Now you're conflicted. You just want to do Steve's pretty face justice.

"D'you like it?" You look at him, all nervous.

But Steve looks like he has stars in his eyes. And tears. Yeah, he's definitely about to cry.

"Stevie? You okay?"

He blinks a few times, a stray tear rolling over his cheek as he clears his throat. "Yeah, I, uhm-- wow, it's-- it's beautiful." He looks at you, those pretty eyes he loves, all confused at him.

"Are you sure?" you smile a little sheepishly.

"Peach..." He leans in and presses a kiss to your head. "I love it. It's beautiful. It's just, I... I'm amazed you think I'm so beautiful too."

"I just painted what I saw. 'N what you make me feel."

Steve feels like he's going to melt, your words fulfilling every bit of his loving fantasies. You don't even mean to, and yet you know exactly what to say to pull on his heartstrings.

"Makes me feel so appreciated. Thank you baby, I love it." He grins, all boyish excitement.

"Yeah, I love it too... I think this one's my favourite, actually." You look up and capture Steve's lips in yours in a chaste kiss. "Might have to frame it, hm?"

"I have a better idea."

"I'm listenin'."

"Could you paint the two of us? Like on that polaroid in my wallet?"

He's referring to the polaroid you took when you first met. It was a party, and you were both fairly inebriated. Somehow, you'd started talking, and you hadn't left each other's side all night, leaving the dancing to the others and instead opting to entertain each other. Robin captured the moment the two of you were stuck in a laughing fit together, and Steve has kept it in his wallet ever since. It warms your heart to know he's kept you with him even far before you two got together.

"Yeah, I can do that. What do I get in return?" You smile, faces so close your noses are still rubbing together.

"One million kisses."

"Hmm..."

"Two million kisses."

"You drive a hard bargain, Harrington."

"Three?"

"Sold."

"Sold."

"Good." you peck his lips, "better start that down payment now."

tag list ₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚

@inkluvs @palmtreesx3

[docwritesshit]

Hello dear Author how about the reader and the character swapped bodies

characters : Ao lie ,Macaque,Tang,Wukong

The same lover Ao lie

Ooooooooo this will be a fun one!

Anyways!

Ao Lie!

This was... New to him.

He wouldn't ever try and peek, no no no.

But he is curious, so I inspects your arms and legs to see if you had hidden anything.

He makes more of what he sees, and brings it up to you the first chance he gets.

He backs up if you don't want to talk about it,

But you do answer some of his questions, like if you have eczema that you hide or stretch marks you got

If you have a period during this, oh good luck to him.

After this whole situation, he brings you whatever meal you want on your period as well as all the cuddles you ask for!

Macaque!

oh he is so damn tempted

But after you explicitly stated that he can't he doesn't

Though he likes to raid your closet and and try on all the outfits you've hidden away

That dress you like but only wear around the house cause you're not sure when you can wear it? He living in it

That suit you were on formal occasions? He teases you with it, wearing it as much as he can

He takes notice of the more hidden parts of your body, a freckle on your hand you usually wear a ring over, a mole on your back

He eats it all up. He wants to see all your little quirks

But he contains himslef

And bro takes the period pain like a champ, but does take extra care after to not do anything to make you uncomfortable during said perios

Tang!

This mfer is freaking out.

He may be a flirt, but this isn't how he wanted to see your body.

Every time he needs to change, he closes his eyes and lets you do it

He is so scared to see an inch you don't want him to see

This man is all about that consent

He exclusively wears your hoodies and sweat pants like they will be gone the next minute

And periods?

Oh this guy is the wimp.

After, he brings you all the chocolate you desire and any takeout you want

Wukong!

Oh this boy took a peek already

You know this little shit did, just a peek down the shirt before you smacked him upside the head.

He does inspect your body as well, smiling as he notices things he never noticed before

He looovveesss wearing your pj's, they are so soft

And tank tops. He gets warm easily in your body so tank tops and shorts help a lot

And he tired to teach you how to use his body with his powers but you mostly... Cabt so you just walked around normally

And periods? Oh those hurt him

He now gives you all the cuddles and love you need while one those

[gemini-sensei]

How Keene!Reader and Hawk get together:

CW: Robby's Twin!Reader; slight smut, angst, and hurt/comfort. Nothing graphic.

✨️ all their flirting turned into a fwb relationship (and if Hawk is bad at a fwb thing, Keene!Reader is worse). They fuck when her dad isn't home, they fuck in his car, they fuck anywhere they can. They kiss and makeout, whisper to each other about how hot and sexy they think the other is.

✨️ it's a few weeks in and in the middle of fucking, Hawk blurts out "I love you" and Reader fucking comes.

✨️ when they're done, she cries out of embarrassment and mortification. She can't believe she just did that. Hawk has to assure her that it's okay and it isn't just that that has made her upset. She's never had a good relationship, never stable. She's scared to love Hawk even though she's been falling for him for a while now.

✨️ he holds her and let's her cry it out. When she finishes crying, she tells him she's sorry.

He lifts her chin so she'll look at him while he speaks. "It's okay, Reader. It's nothing to be sorry for."

She has such deep seeded problems stemming from her parentage and that's a lot to unpack. He knew that before jumping in bed with her. But he's unafraid to face it with her. Just not now.

Right now, he assures her. "I did t say it because of the heat the moment."

"You didn't?"

"No, I do love you."

She feels better to tell him. "I love you too. And I'm not just saying thay because you said it... I am glad you said it first though."

Him saying it first makes her feel safe and secure. As she lay in his arms, sharing little kisses and sweet nothings, she feels like she can finally let her guard down around somebody.

✨️ they don't tell anyone this is how it went down. To their friends and families, they kind of just got together unceremoniously. Like one day they were flirty friends and the next they were dating, kissing and holding hands.

✨️ he calls her babe in front of her dad and he physically grimaces. Johnny cannot stand it. Hit has nothing to do with his daughter growing up and everything to do with him having taught Hawk "how to get babes" and firmly stands on the hill that his daughter isn't a babe. Hawk will die on his own hill, the mole hill that he turns into a mountain everytime he addresses Reader as babe. It touches a nerve in Johnny and they're bound to fight over it someday.

✨️Robby and Demetri going on double dates with Hawk and Reader, usually movie and milkshake dates. Robby and Reader agree to see whatever superhero or sci-fi movie their boyfriends are jazzed about, but sometimes Robby and Demetri try to get a concrete answer out of them on when they started dating. They ask questions like "what was your guys' first date like?" and "how long have you two actually been together?" They get no real answers, partly because Hawk and Reader know they don't wanna know and mostly because the two enjoy messing with them. So they get a jumble of answers, usually wrong or flat out absurd.

[genshin-squabbles-and-wobbles]

Genshin bois favorite place to kiss? Zhongli, Alhathem, cyno, and xiao

Yes I can madam, if only someone can kiss me and end my suffering. Cries and dies

Zhongli: Back kisses ═══════════.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.════════════

He loves kisses your back, and behind your neck. It feels more intimate to him.

In a battle field you can't turn your back onto people, it shows weakness so you showing your back to him and feeling safe to do so, makes me feel like you trust him greatly.

Especially during intimacy and intercourse, he would kiss your back as foreplay and during the mainplay. He would whispers sweet nothings to your back.

His hands will be on your back at all times, one or two, to hold you near or pull you into a hug.

He loves closing his eyes and kissing your back, while his hands explore the front of you, or go under your shirt to feel your warmth.

Back kisses his just something he enjoys giving to you, his eyes are always on your back, having urges to take your shirt off and plant kisses on your bare back. Even better if he fully undresses you to get that need to be satisfied.

Alhaitham: Forehead kisses ═════════.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.═════════

Forehead kisses is one thing he enjoys because it communicates so many things without him saying anything. ( And you know him, the less work the better )

He would kiss your forehead, as a good job, a goodbye, a good morning, as an apology, as relief and even mostly importantly, as a greeting.

He would kiss your forehead when you are near him, when you are scared, when you are sad, when you are happy, no matter the situations, the act of him bending down and placing a kiss on your forehead communicates so many things for him.

It even works as a best comforting mechanism, hug you and kiss your forehead, wrap his arm around you and kiss your forehead.

He actually grew to have a weakness for it as well, as it became a habitual routine for him.

Days where you are fully gone, he would get a little angsty as he has the itching need to pull you aside or into bed with him and meet that need.

He would do it in the beginning of intercourse while asking for consent, and he will do it after intercourse, as a good job and that he was happy with the close moment you two had.

Cyno: Shoulder Kisses ═══════════.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.══════════

He would hug and move your shirt to press a kiss on your bare shoulders.

He would do it while hugging, and hugging you from behind.

He would do it while he is next to you, and reading documents of his next assignment.

Something about the curvature of your shoulder from your neck, makes me feel like he years to plant kisses there, the disciplined curved nature of your shoulders.

He would rest his forehead on your shoulder to rest, and plant kisses.

He would kiss your neck as well, and make the journey down to your shoulders.

He would kiss your shoulders as a goodbye or a hello, he would do it while you two talk about something deep.

When he kisses your shoulders he feels as if he is taking care of you and he is reminding himself that he is capable of protecting you. He loves kissing your shoulders, and placing his hand on the other one. It makes your eyes go on him and focus on him, that is what he wants.

During intercourse, he would nibble and bite your shoulders, and move while keep his lips on your shoulders. He would pull you close to him and adjust his head into your shoulders. Sometimes the world in there is better than world out there.

Xiao: Hand kisses ════════════.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.═════════════

Xiao shows his dedication and loyalty to you by kissing your hand.

He would take your hands and kiss the palm, and wrist. He would kiss your fingers and the top of your hands. All moles, birthmarks and scars that were to plague it.

He kisses your hand before fighting demons to show he would protect you.

He would kiss your hands, as a way to help you sleep, as a goodnight and that he would watch over you.

As you lace your fingers with his, he would bring it up, and kiss the back of your hand and give you a gentle smile.

You are his special person, who had been patient with him and known him for his difficulties, it's only makes sense that you would receive this affection from him.

He would kiss your hands, during intercourse, as he would stop, bring your hand already laced hand onto his, up to his lips and kiss it then continue.

He would do it when you are in distress or injured. Kiss all your wounds, then kiss your hands.

He is always telling you that you are capable with these things of yours. That he appreciates how much you are capable of.

[yunszn]

INVISIBLE STRING

p boyfs brother!sjy x fem!reader s where an invisible string leads you from dating your longtime crush to being in love with his twin brother... w kissing , cursing cringe , very fast-paced wc 4.1k g fluff 〰 bookshelf

"He's bringing me over to his house today!" you say exitedly, clinging closely to your best friend Yujin.

Of course, you were talking about your new boyfriend, Chase Sim. Being with Chase felt like a dream. You've been head over heels in love with him since 5th grade, and now he's your boyfriend!

It's hard to express the overwhelming happiness you felt when he confessed that he liked you too. Yujin, who used to feel sick at the mere mention of him, was relieved to see you two finally got together.

"I'm so happy for you, Yn. You two are really made for each other," she replies before you part ways after school.

You rushed towards Chase, who was waiting by his car and hugged him tightly. He hugged you back and even placed a small kiss on your lips before getting into the car. The drive was silent except for the sound of your leg tapping anxiously.

Chase tries to ease your mind with small talk about your day as you arrive at a big white home.

As you both enter the room, you take a moment to survey your surroundings, noticing every detail. You can see the spacious living room and the white, sparkling kitchen. At the last minute, your eyes catch sight of a dog bowl. You didn't know that he had a dog, but you also can't seem to see one around.

Chase guides you up to his bedroom, which is mostly empty with little to no decor. You can't help but think it seems kind of depressing.

"Just stay here, I'll go get us some snacks and we can watch a movie, okay?" he says, already halfway out the door.

You simply nod and take a seat on his bed, thinking about how his room desperately needs a makeover.

15 minutes pass by, and Chase is nowhere to be seen. You've explored every part of his bedroom by now and are getting frustrated.

Reluctantly, you decide to go downstairs to look for him. You step quietly down the wooden stairs, peeking into the kitchen.

There he is. You come up behind him, tapping his shoulder. "Chase, where have you been? I've been waiting for 15 minutes."

He turns around, looking at you confusedly. "Chase? I'm Jake."

Oh. You totally forgot Chase had a twin brother. This was embarrassing.

You notice that, unlike Chase, Jake doesn't have a mole on his cheek. That's a good way to tell them apart, you think.

"Yn, I guess you've met my brother." Chase's raspy voice comes from behind you. He walks over, putting an arm over your shoulder, making Jake roll his eyes.

"It was nice meeting you, Yn. I'll leave you to my brother now," Jake sighs, making his way upstairs, a cute dog following behind him. So there's the dog.

You wanted to pet it so badly, but Chase dragged you back to his room before you were able to say anything.

Over the next week, you visited a few times. It soon became a regular routine for you to hang out after school, even if you had to wait for Chase to return from his football practice. He provided you with the location of the spare key, allowing you to wait comfortably until he arrived home.

Today was one of those days. You sat on the couch scrolling on your phone, yawning in boredom. It's been about 10 minutes since you arrived, and Chase still wasn't home.

You felt kind of weird, being in his home when no one was there. Not even Layla was around to keep you company today.

You suddenly feel thirsty and decide to get a glass of water from the kitchen. However, you struggle to reach a glass from one of the cabinets. You wonder why the glasses were placed so high up.

As you hear faint footsteps approaching you and feel a hand snaking up your bare waist. You turn back in confusion to find Jake instead of Chase, who was still not home.

"Here you go," he says innocently with a smile as he hands you a glass. His hand is no longer resting where it was before, causing a shiver to run down your spine as you recall the memory of his gentle touch.

"Thanks," you reply.

As the door creaks open, you see Chase standing there, his face glistening with sweat. He takes note of the proximity between the two of you but doesn't seem to pay much attention, choosing to ignore it instead.

"Hey babe, sorry I'm a bit late. Coach held us back for some reason." Chase explains, planting a kiss on your cheek.

Jake stares awkwardly at his affections before disappearing somewhere in the house.

Why was he doing this? Why did he feel this way? It's like every time he notices your presence, he's drawn to you, making bold moves he wouldn't usually do.

No, he couldn't. You were his brother's girlfriend.

After that incident, Jake stayed in his room when you were over to avoid any awkward moments like that one. Gosh, you must've thought he was so weird.

What he didn't know is that you were also thinking about it. The electricity of his touch kept replaying in your mind, even when you were with Chase.

Despite your efforts to remain composed, you found yourself increasingly drawn to Jake, and the more time you spent at his house, the more frequently you ran into him. You couldn't help but steal glances at him whenever he was near, and when he touched you, it felt as if fireworks were going off inside of you.

Chase &lt;;3: Movie tonight?

You: I'll be there in 5 :)

Hurriedly, you drove to the familiar white house for a movie night with your boyfriend. Chase greeted you with a hug and some kisses, and you noticed the blankets and snacks he had prepared for you both.

You snuggle up on the couch, fluffy pillows and blankets, keeping you warm in his embrace.

A few minutes into the movie, your peace and quiet is cut short by Jake and Layla walking in. Your eyes meet unexpectedly, and you look away as fast as possible.

His dark hair is messy, hanging over his forehead lazily. He's wearing a simple zip-up hoodie with the hoodie hung over his head.

"I love this movie," he exclaims, his eyes facing the illuminated screen, "Would you guys mind if I joined you?"

Chase glances at you, anticipating an answer. You sigh, "Yeah, sure."

Jake practically jumps in excitement, settling on a spot next to you, while Layla goes over to Chase. The movie continues, your heartbeat getting faster at the small distance between you and Jake.

His hand keeps meeting yours in the bowl of popcorn, so you ultimately decide not to eat anymore. Instead, you rest it on the couch under the blanket, trying to focus on the movie.

Jake admits, he did the popcorn thing on purpose. It was so wrong, but why did it feel so right?

His little 'crush' has done nothing but grow over time. You spent so much time at their house that it made it almost impossible to avoid you.

You feel another hand next to yours, grazing your finger lightly. Was he doing this on purpose? It felt like you were stuck in a trap where there was no getting out.

Jake's hand reaches out and gently places his thumb on the back of your hand. You notice a hint of relief wash over him as you remain calm and composed, not flinching or moving away.

With a slow and deliberate movement, your hand gradually moves towards your thigh, and you notice Jake's hand following suit in perfect unison. As you feel your pulse quicken, you can't help but wonder why being around him makes you so nervous.

This didn't go unnoticed by your boyfriend who sat next to you. Sensing the tension, he pulled you closer, causing your and Jake's hands to part ways.

The night continues smoothly, a few stolen glances exchanged with you and Jake. You weren't focused on the movie in front of you, but instead on the increasing need you have to be close to Jake.

How could this be happening? You had your dream boyfriend. So why did his brother make your eyes light up whenever he walked in?

"You have to go!" Yujin is convincing you to go hang out with some friends, including Jake and Chase. "Come on, you're Chase's girlfriend now,"

To be honest, the only thing holding you back was the fact that Jake was going to be there. You've been having all these awkward moments, and being in his presence will definitely make you anxious.

You agree to go anyway to please Yujin, and when the time comes, you regret that decision deeply.

You can feel Jake's burning gaze on you from across the table, and it makes you uncomfortable. You try to ignore him and focus on the conversation, but his stare never seems to waver.

Finally, he gets up and joins a group of people playing pool. You breathe a sigh of relief, but that doesn't last long. Your boyfriend is among them, and he insists that you come join them too. You reluctantly follow him, feeling a mixture of annoyance and apprehension.

You insist on watching Chase from the sidelines, to which he frowns.

When he excuses himself to the bathroom, one of your friends, Danielle, invites you to come play.

"Sorry, I don't know how to." You laugh, but she persuades you to try.

You pick up the cue stick and aim at a purple ball on the pool table. Danielle gives you pointers, but you still struggle with holding it correctly.

As you sigh in defeat, a familiar figure approaches you from behind. Jake leans against your back and guides your hands to position them correctly. You feel his warm breath next to your ear, and suddenly, you forget what you were doing in the first place.

He moves away slowly, his hands lingering. The whole room is staring at you two now, including Chase, who returned.

You see him walk out of the room, his face a canvas of obvious disappointment. As you observe, you realize that you have no other option but to chase after him.

"What the fuck, Yn?" he yells when he notices you outside with him.

"Chase, what's wrong?" You try and act oblivious, but it doesn't fool him.

"You're what's wrong!" he says, "You're my girlfriend. But for some reason, you seem to be eye-fucking my brother every time he's around? What the hell is that about?"

As you gazed at his face, a sudden surge of tears welled up in your eyes. You had never anticipated that things would take such an unfortunate turn. The very thought of Jake with his stupid smile made you feel foolish and regretful.

"Chase. Nothing is going on with me and Jake!" you reply in your defense, trying to get a hold of his hand.

"I don't want to talk to you right now." Chase says, brushing you off. He leaves quickly, leaving you in tears on the side of the road.

Yujin rushes out, holding you close in her embrace as you cry. You don't say anything. Instead, you just let her take you home.

You rub your eyes open in the morning, sunlight flowing in through your windows. The sound of your doorbell ringing forces you to get out of bed.

Behind the fogged glass door you can make out a figure that could be two people. Jake stands on your doorstep, biting his lip in anxiety.

"You left this at our place," he says, handing you a charger which you had been looking for the night before.

"Uh, yeah, come in," you stutter, still feeling half alive. He obliges reluctantly, and you pour both of you some coffee. When Jake finally breaks the silence, you hear the door open again.

"Yn, are you here? I've been calling you all morning" Oh no. It's Chases voice echoing though the hallway.

As soon as he walks into the kitchen and sees Jake, the smile fades from his face. He had brought flowers to apologize, but he realizes it's too late.

Now the bouquet of daisies he brought is on the floor, his expression a mix of disappointment and knowing. You don't get a chance to explain before he is out the door, Jake following closely behind.

Why does everything in your life keep going wrong? You simply sigh and return to your cozy bed, you need a break from all this.

When you wake up, the memories flood back to you. You glance at your phone, many notifications filling your screen, but a few messages stand out.

Jake: I'm so sorry for everything, Yn. Please reply to me.

Chase &lt;3: We need to talk.

You click on Chase's one, ignoring the other.

You: Let's meet at the park?

Chase &lt;3: 20 min sound good?

You: Yeah see you there

You shuffle out of bed, making yourself look decent enough to go outside. This was it. You were breaking up with Chase Sim. Your 5th-grade self would probably beat you up if she saw this.

His figure is easily noticed as he looms over his phone on a nearby bench. "Hey," you say, grabbing his attention.

"I think we should break up," you say simultaneously, earning a small chuckle from him.

"What gave it away?" You laugh.

"Hm, everything," he says sarcastically. You spend a few more minutes talking until you finally part ways as lovers but enter a new path as good friends.

You're not sure how easily he forgave you for everything, but you weren't going to rub even more salt in the wound.

Yujin ♡: You alive?

You: I broke up with Chase.

Yujin ♡: WOAH WHAT HAPPENED??

You: I'll explain tomorrow.

The next day, you confide in your best friend, revealing a secret that has been weighing on you for some time. Despite being in a committed relationship with your boyfriend, you find yourself constantly preoccupied with thoughts of his brother. It's a confusing and complicated situation, and you don't know what to do or how to move forward.

"What does Jake think about all this?" she asks, taking a sip of her latte.

"Wouldn't know, I haven't spoken to him at all." you sigh, "He's been blowing up my phone,"

Even with everything that happened, you missed his warm presence a lot. You found yourself aching for the moments you shared.

"So..." she starts slowly, "Do you like him?"

"Jake? I'm not sure," you respond. You know that he makes you feel a certain way, but is it just physical attraction? Plus, even if you both have feelings for each other, what would people say if you suddenly started dating your ex's brother?

"We should totally go to Giselle's party tonight to lift your mood, Yn. But Chase might be there," Yujin suggests with a smile.

"Okay, lets go. Me and Chase are good... I think" you say, to which she squeals in excitement. Yujin sure loves a good party.

A few hours later, you and Yujin are pushing through the people at Giselle's house. You get invited over to a game of 7 minutes in heaven, which you kindly decline, but a wasted Yujin drags you over anyways.

She probably isn't aware that two of the people playing are in fact Chase and Jake. You awkwardly sit down and wait for the bottle to be spun.

First spin. Chase.

Please just not you, this is so weird.

Another spin of the plastic bottle and it lands on... you.

This is going to be interesting.

As you step into the nearby closet, following Chase's lead, you can feel Jake's eyes locked onto yours. His gaze is intense and unwavering, like he's trying to read your thoughts. You can't help but wonder what's going through his mind now.

You sigh, sitting down on the floor as Chase follows.

"I-" you both start at the same time. This seems to be a reoccurring theme.

"You go first," he says.

"Look I'm so sorry about everything with Jake and I really hope you don't hate me and that we can stay friends after this..." you confess, fidgeting with your hands. "Your turn."

"First of all, thank you. I think youre great and I definitely want to stay friends, but I have to confess I've seen the sparks between you and Jake from before that night." Chase replies, earning a confused look from you. You hadn't noticed it until the movie night, but even then you kept brushing it off.

"If you decide to make any moves, you have my full support. You might think it's weird or something, but our relationship was so short that I don't think it is," You're surprised by his words, but nod gratefully and smile.

"Are you done?" a recognizable voice says from outside, "It's been 8 minutes,"

The voice then opens the door, revealing the other players eagerly waiting for you to come out. It's Jake, holding the door tightly. Before you know it, he's dragging you by the hand into the backyard.

"What are you doing?" you shout when you're finally out. The pool lights illuminate his face with a blue glow while he keeps a firm grip on your wrist.

"What did Chase say to you? Are you okay?" he says worriedly.

"He didn't say anything! You need to stop caring so much about me Jake, it only makes things worse. People already think I'm some kind of whore that changes guys every day, and I don't need that on top of everything else. Please, just stay away from me." you explain, leaving Jake standing alone in the moonlight.

As the next week unfolded, you found yourself in a blur of emotions, trying your best to avoid Jake at all costs, even at school. Your heart raced at the mere thought of running into him, and every time you saw someone who looked remotely like him, you couldn't help but glance over your shoulder to make sure it wasn't him.

Finally, the weather was getting warmer, and as you took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, you felt a sense of relief wash over you. It was time to relax and unwind after what seemed like an eternity of stress and anxiety.

Today was supposed to be an exciting day. Yujin had planned for a group of close friends to go to the amusement park, and you couldn't wait to experience the thrill of the rides and games. The anticipation was palpable as you waited for her to arrive at your doorstep to pick you up.

When the time came, and you were walking through the big lit-up entrance of the amusement park, you felt exhilarated. The girls with you also seemed to think the same, running off to play games, leaving only you, Yujin, and Danielle.

Danielle kept pleading for both of you to join her on the rollercoaster, but you were hesitant due to your fear of the ride. After a bit of teasing, you finally agree, and Danielle excitedly rushes off to the queue.

As you get ready for the inevitable sickness that is bound to come, you notice that the rows in front of you have seats meant for two people. Without any hesitation, you offer to sit in the seat in front to avoid any awkwardness.

You buckle up in the plastic seat, your friends doing the same behind you. But when you go to ask them something, you finally realize the person sitting next to you. What the hell is he doing here?

Jake glanced at you in surprise. He obviously hadn't noticed this predicament either.

"So... How have you been?" he asks, trying to ease the situation.

"Good, but I still don't want to talk to you," you reply sternly. Everything had been going okay, with you seeing Jake less and less. But with him in front of you now, the feelings you have for him start to come back.

As the ride starts, especially when it shakes, you instinctively hold his hand. But your thoughts are cut short by the wind blowing in your hair and your stomach jumping to your throat.

As the rollercoaster went through a loop, you held onto the seat guard tightly. Jake, who was sitting next to you, was equally scared and clung to you for dear life. Even though you also felt scared, you couldn't just push him away, so you held onto him as well, at least for the time being.

Just for the time being, you convince yourself.

When it's stopped and everyone is stepping out, you and Jake still sit there eyeing each other intensely. You let go slowly, brushing yourself off.

"Guess I'll see you around then," he says before you run off. He sighs, dragging himself back to his group.

"Was that Jake!?" Danielle exclaims, to which you cover her mouth.

A few days later, you're walking home in the burning heat. You couldn't wait to get to your nice and cool bed after a long school day.

Just as you approach it, a familiar bark fills your ears. Turning your head, you spot Layla and Jake nearing you.

Not him again. Quickly, you turn around in the other direction, hoping to avoid any interaction.

Jake chased after you with Layla following closely behind. Finally reaching you, he turned your shoulder to face him.

"You're stalking me now?" you say sarcastically. His chuckle makes you forget why you wanted to avoid him. Layla sits by your legs, nudging you to pet her.

Jake pleads with desperation, "Yn, I can't keep going like this. Not talking to you is tearing me apart. You're one of my closest friends and I miss you so much."

"I'm sorry Jake, but my decision stands. As much as I miss you too." You walked away, leaving Jake to look after you once again.

At last, your high school years are ending. Partying at prom with your friends was the best way to close this chapter. You were set on having fun, dancing, and definitely not thinking about Jake. (Even though you just did)

Walking up to the venue, music is heard blasting from inside. Danielle is ranting about how it's so much better to go with your friends instead of a date. Unintentionally, this makes you think of how much fun it would be to go to prom with Jake.

The interior is decorated even better than you imagined. Balloons floated everywhere, glittering dresses all around, and a disco ball hung on the ceiling to finish it off.

Everyone looked amazing, and you were surprised some people came. The night was still young, though, so it's time to have a blast.

After two hours of non-stop dancing, the energy in the room had reached its peak. The DJ had expertly curated the playlist, each song flowing seamlessly into the next, creating a hypnotic rhythm that had everyone moving in sync. The bass reverberated through the walls, causing the floor to vibrate beneath your feet. You closed your eyes, losing yourself in the music as you swayed to the beat with your friends. Despite the sweat on your forehead and the ache in your feet, you couldn't help but feel euphoric - this was the kind of night you'd remember for years to come.

You were lost in the moment and it took you a while to realize that Jake was approaching you. He looked so perfect that you couldn't help but feel intimidated by his beauty. His brown hair was slicked back and his tie was loosely hanging on his suit.

Jake stands too close, his lips move but the music drowns his words. He pulls you off the dance floor. He grips your hand softly as you both shuffle out of the venue. You look at him with confusion, waiting for an answer to why he brought you here.

"I love you, Yn," he shouts, and you're taken aback, "Morning, day and night, I love you. And I'm sick and tired of having to be away from you because it feels like a piece of me is missing. I feel like there's some invisible string constantly pulling me towards you."

Standing frozen in disbelief, you are overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. The words that just came out of Jake Sim's mouth feel almost surreal. You struggle to process the implications of what he just said. Could it be true? Was the man standing before you actually declaring his love for you?

"Please, say something," he pleads, his eyes full of tears. He didn't pour his heart out easily, but he would do anything for you.

It was undeniable that you loved him too, but you had pushed him away. Now, you were determined to bring him closer.

You take control and firmly grab Jake's tie, pulling him towards you to kiss him passionately. As you break away, his intense gaze remains fixed on you, unable to resist your assertive charm.

"I love you too." You mutter before he pulls you back for another kiss.

from z — sorry this is so bad i ran out of motivation tbhh

५ tags — @hoonzsn (send ask or msg to be added)

© yunszn on tumblr 2024

[stealanity]

“ THAT ONE RAINY DAY. ” ft. yang jungwon

genre : a little bit of angst but mostly fluffy fluff, high school au, best friends to lovers

summary : when your rainy days are a bust, all you need is a special sweatshirt and your best friend's heartbeat.

word count : 1.2k>

request : from my little @justalildumpling — "your heart is beating so fast right now." & "you're welcome to stay, if you want." FOR JUNGWON PLS

« can i come in? » you say in a small voice, droplets of rain running down your face. in front of you, jungwon's troubled and astonished face, nodded positively as he stepped away from the door to let you inside.

it wasn't common for you to end up at his place in the middle of the night without telling him — but today it was necessary. biting your lower lip, hoping he wouldn't notice the tears mingling with the drops of water on your face, jungwon moved closer to you to place his warm hand on your shoulder. « come with me, i'll give you something to dry off and change. »

closely following his every step, climbing the stairs to his bathroom, you waited a few seconds before he handed you a towel. « you can take a hot shower if you like, i'll leave some clothes by the door for you to wear. » — he said with a smile, as he finally left you alone in the room. locking the door behind him, you looked around you carefully, sniffing before throwing off your rain-drenched clothes. you take the time to properly warm up your body under the hot shower water, trying not to think about what had happened at your place earlier in the evening. furiously rubbing your eyes to keep from crying, you gasped as you heard a few knocks against the door, « i'm going out to get something to eat, make yourself at home when you're done. »

not bothering to answer, you hurried off to finish your shower : you didn't want to overdo it either, not wanting to abuse his hospitality. cautiously opening the bathroom door, you quickly grabbed jungwon's clothes and changed as he wished. a smile graced your lips as you noticed that the sweater he'd lent you was the one he was wearing the day you two met. it was a rainy day like today — you bumped into each other trying to find shelter in a grocery store, and when your eyes fell on his sweet face, you could swear you'd never felt your heart beat so fast.

putting on the sweatshirt, you took the initiative and went downstairs to settle on the sofa in the living room. after a few minutes, the front door opened again, revealing a drenched jungwon, his arms laden with white plastic bags. « i'm home. » he said mechanically, as you hurried towards him, relieving him of his shopping, « what an idiot.. » you whispered, drawing his attention back to you.

« says you, tsk. » your smile mimicked his, and before you could say anything, he slipped off upstairs to change. taking your ease, you opened the noodle tins on the living room table, patiently waiting for jungwon to join you to eat. dropping his body next to yours, you watched him out of the corner of your eye, admiring the way his wet hair fell over his face. jungwon was handsome — you couldn't deny that — especially not when your eyes scrutinized the curve of his jaw decorated with his moles.

« you're welcome to stay, if you want, » he said without taking his eyes off his cup of noodles, carefully mixing them, « as much as you like. » — nodding in thanks, you did exactly as he did and began to eat. that's what you liked about jungwon, you didn't need to speak for him to understand how you felt, and best of all, he wasn't pushy and didn't force you to explain anything. he offered you a meal and a roof to protect you from the rain, and you swear you never felt more at home than you do now. the thought alone made you want to cry, and the desperate sigh that escaped your lips drew his attention. without saying a word, he placed his free hand on yours, silently telling you that he was there for you.

innocently intertwining your fingers with his, you finished your meal in a soothing silence, the warmth of his skin burning yours.

after cleaning the table, jungwon turned on the bedside light and settled on the sofa, opening his arms to you, « do you need this? » nodding timidly, you approached him and snuggled into his arms. your arms hooked around his waist, hiding your face in the hollow of his neck — he was warm, reassuring, comforting. your chest pressed against his, leaving not an ounce of distance between your two bodies, gave you all the comfort you needed. your best friend was really all you needed during your rainy days.

« your heart is beating so fast right now. » he whispered in your ear, his fingers dancing up and down your spine like the most hypnotic of ballets. you could swear the shiver you felt had spread to his fingertips, there was no way he hadn't felt it. so without any remorse, without any trembling in your voice, without any hesitation, you uttered the few words that made jungwon's heart skip a beat, « it's because i'm with you. »

raising your head slowly as you feel his fingers gently move up to your cheek, your eyes drowned in his. every time you had a problem, suffered or were hurt by something, he was there, always there. he was always there to mend the pieces of your broken heart, always there to dry your tears and give you all the support you need, without ever forcing you to speak. the warmth of his heart, the gentleness of his words, the sincerity of his smile — all this made your heart beat faster and faster.

his fingers passed over your cheekbones, chasing away the salty tears that had escaped from your eyes. you hadn't even realized you'd been crying, until then. jungwon leaning in gently, placing two tender kisses on your eyelids, « even if you're the prettiest when you cry, you're even prettier when you smile. »

« stop that, » you say suddenly, resting your forehead against his cheek, « or i'm going to fall in love with you. »

« would that be so bad? » he declared in a barely audible voice, forcing you to straighten your head and look into his eyes. once again, his pupils were full of sincerity, but with a little extra detail : they were full of love.

shaking your head negatively, your eyes darted between his cat-like eyes and his rosy lips. obviously, you'd already wondered what it would be like to kiss your best friend — and your every thought was the same, that it should be as sweet as cotton and as fruity as red fruits. he was like an angel fallen from heaven, and you categorically refused to believe that he was a bad kisser. and on this rainy night, you were about to prove your thoughts right, when he closed the distance between your faces to place his lips delicately against yours.

it was just as you expected : warm, soft, and with a cherry taste (probably because of the lip balm he used). his hand on your cheek tilted your face slightly so he could kiss you more deeply, lovingly, pressing his lips to yours as if he'd been waiting for this for years. your body moved slightly to find itself even closer to his — as if that were possible.

and you were finally able to confirm that he was definitely not a bad kisser.

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[distortionbobble]

the stars between

one | two | three 

pairing: anakin skywalker x fem!poc!reader

summary: when senator padme needs protection on naboo, both you and anakin are assigned. you love him and he loves you, but you can never be together and both of you know it. complications ensue. (mostly adjacent to attack of the clones canon but i took some artistic liberties at the end). 

warnings: minors dni. angst. there is angst in this. religious imagery, p in v (unprotected, wrap before you tap always), fingering, some sensory play, power dynamics in sexual contexts, marking up

word count: 8.8k

a/n: this is the song i listened to while writing this fic and i love it so much. also after rewatching attack of the clones for the 20th time for this series i have realized that anidala went real fuckin fast like . whoa! okay then. also the obi wan Kenobi final made me so emotional

He feels you when he wakes up. 

Anakin opens his eyes to an empty bed, where he can still see the indent that your body has left next to his. It can’t have been too long since you’ve been gone, because he feels the traces of warmth from you when he runs his hand over the sheets. 

Then he laughs in disbelief, because you’re his. Last night told him that much. You’ve always been beautiful. Always. But he’s never gotten the chance to count the moles and battle scars on your body, never been able to mark you as his, never seen you look at him with that much adoration in your eyes. You’re his, and you love him. 

He’ll never let you go now. It would break him, shatter him, he thinks, if he had to draw even a single breath without you. Is this the emotion that the Jedi warned against? Anakin can’t fathom you being a weakness to him, even as he rises from the bed to follow your force signature without even being aware of his movement, too lost in the need to find you. 

You’re consuming his mind, and he adores you for it. 

~~~

“So soon, padawan?” Obi-Wan breaks his silence to ask you, running his hand over his beard thoughtfully. He gets up from his position on the floor to meet your eyes, a hidden sadness reflecting in them. And it hurts more than you thought it would, now that you’re face-to-face with the man who raised you, loved you, healed your wounds. Your throat constricts as emotion swells from its hiding place deep within, and you can only nod as you fight back the burning teardrops collecting in your eyes. 

He looks down at his hands, breathing deeply as he deliberates over the correct course of action. You understand, of course. It’s a time of war, and you leaving creates a hole in the fabric of the security blanket designed to protect the peace of the universe. And over your inner frustrations and betrayal to the Jedi Code, you have a responsibility to protect that peace. The oath you swore as a youngling does nothing to stop the acidity at eating your throat from the anxiety of the unknown. 

“I’ll bring it up to the Council, but I must insist that you stay here with Anakin and I to protect Senator Padme. The Senator’s safety is crucial to the fate of the Republic, and we must do everything in our power to keep her safe. Young one, you are brilliant and will undoubtedly make change no matter where you go, but I fear the consequences if we do not act carefully will be rather severe.” 

You know he’s right. At least now you know what to expect and you prepare yourself for it mentally. But are you strong enough to let go of Anakin?

“Y/n, I didn’t realize the toll that last night’s fight took on you. Do take some rest, padawan.” 

“Huh?” You’re unsure what he means by that. The only real injury you have, aside from minor scratches, is the blast wound that’s hidden by your robes. 

“On your neck,” he gestures. “There’s some bruising on your skin.” Fuck. Memories of Anakin’s mouth marking your skin flash before your eyes, and a wave of heat runs down your skin.

Obi-Wan gives you a strange glance as your thoughts burst indecipherably, then settles back down on the floor. 

“Everything will be alright,” your master assures you, eyes closed. “Do join me in meditation, padawan. Fear is a powerful tool that can lead you astray.” 

You sit facing him, and allow your thoughts to dissolve, mind embracing the blankness. And there is no Anakin, no Jedi Consular, nothing save the peace that Obi-Wan has taught you to find over the years. But then the hiss of the doors opening jolts you back to the world, and you open your eyes to Anakin settling down next to you. 

He turns to you briefly, with just the barest hint of a sweet secret smile. Guilt settles in the pit of your stomach, heavy and unforgiving, because you know that he’s absolutely clueless. Anakin Skywalker is your best friend, and yet you want to leave him without a word. You force a weak smile back at him. 

Anakin reaches out to you, Obi-Wan’s eyes still closed, and allows his pinky to rest just brushing against yours. You are connected to him, and just from the slight touch of his hand you can almost feel every cell in his body moving in perfect synchrony, every little bit of the essence of Anakin Skywalker. And Maker, you never want to let go. 

But you look at Obi-Wan, and your deceit turns the warmth of his finger against yours into a burning flame. You quickly shift your hand, pretending not to notice the flash of hurt that crosses Anakin’s face. 

No, it’s better this way, you think. This way, you’re both safe. Anakin will save the Force, bring it into that dazzling light of his, and you can fade into the background. Maybe he’ll still care for you, deep down. Maybe he’ll hear your name in passing, twenty years from now, and his heart will skip a beat. And he’ll remember you, the warmth of your skin and the softness of your lips and his hand will brush against his lips like he can still feel them. 

Or maybe he won’t care about you at all. Maybe he won’t recognize your name, walk undeterred as he fulfills his destiny. And you won’t be anything but a distant someone he used to know. 

~~~

“Troubling, this is,” Master Yoda hums thoughtfully. You force yourself to remain stiff under your robes, trying not to bring too much attention before the Council. Their commanding presences make the chamber almost suffocating, and Anakin turns his head to you imperceptibly as you attempt to reel in your anxieties. The gesture soothes you anyways. He knew how nervous the Council made you, even from a young age. Next to Anakin, your abilities paled, and you knew they expected little of you. Still, there remained that innate desire to get their validation, for them to see you as just as bright as Anakin. 

Composure. You need to maintain composure. 

“We lost the bounty hunter,” You interject quietly. Master Windu nods at you in understanding, and you feel just marginally more at peace. You’ve always felt that Master Windu has the most respect and understanding for you, and you can breathe just a little easier. 

“Track down the bounty hunter, you must, Obi-Wan,” Master Yoda responds. This close to him, you can see the lines on his face. You wonder briefly if he ever gets tired of loneliness, of the burden he has to carry. How many Jedi has he outlived? How many has he taken in as younglings, only to watch them fade in time? There’s so many lifetimes packed into his soul, each one undoubtedly extracting a heavier toll than the last as the universe settles itself in a nest of chaos. 

“Most importantly, find out who sent him,” Master Windu adds. 

You find yourself blanking as the Masters continue to discuss, only snapping back sharply to reality when Anakin speaks, saying your name with a reverence you’re sure you imagined. Only then do you realize that you’ve been roped into more of this, more of being consumed by your biggest temptation. There is no easy escape now. The attempt on Senator Amidala’s life and your actions following the attack have left you vulnerable and weak, and now you have to assist Anakin in escorting and guarding her in Naboo. 

“While Anakin speaks with Chancellor Palpatine, I shall speak with the Senator and convey the gravity of the matter. I hope that she will not only go, but will remain compliant with our advice as we continue to guide her,” you add after Master Windu’s instructions. He spares you the slightest smile before the three of you bow to the Council and walk out of the chamber. Your eyes are trained on the hem of Anakin’s robes as it sweeps against the ground. Once you’re outside, you find yourself rushing your pace until your footsteps are matched with his, still shadowing Obi-Wan. 

“I don’t like this, Ani,” you murmur to him, turning to study his reaction from his side. The nickname slips out of your lips. You can’t stop your eyes from drifting across the defined, sloping lines of his face before settling on the soft pink of his lips. You want to kiss him again, the way you kissed him last night, but you force yourself to look at Obi-Wan instead of allowing yourself to dwell in the forbidden. 

“Why?” He questions back, slipping your hand into his as you walk quickly. It’s hidden by the sleeves of your robes, and you don’t have the strength in you to pull away. You hold your love for him in your hand, a secret in the sanctuary of truth. 

“There’s something unsettling about the Chancellor, Ani. Just please be careful about what you say to him, and be wary about what he says to you. I know you consider him a friend, but for my sake—” 

“For your sake?” He interrupts, voice raising slightly. Obi-Wan looks back at the two of you in warning before turning to continue forwards to the transporter. You squeeze his hand in warning lightly. He murmurs your name to get your attention again. “You haven’t even looked at me today. All you’ve done is shut me out. And now suddenly it’s for you?” Anakin hisses out of frustration. 

“Ani, I know I hurt you today, and I promise that wasn’t my intention,” you whisper back. Your voice threatens to break as you swallow your betrayal to him, because you wanted to leave him all alone and if this hurts him now, it would’ve broken him if you had left entirely. And you wish you could take his pain away, absorb every bit of hurt seeping out of his beautiful flaws. You’ve already given and taken too much, though, so you allow yourself only the momentary comfort of his hand. No more. 

He sighs and squeezes your hand in reassurance, leaning down to kiss the top of your head swiftly before releasing your hand and stepping away. “I’ll be careful,” he promises.

~~~

“The Council wants me to leave?” Padme exclaims. 

“M’Lady—-”

“No,” she interrupts. “Do they understand how important it is that the Military Creation Act is brought down? The fate of the galaxy is in question right now, and I am to hide? Like a coward?” 

“Hiding does not make you a coward, Milady,” you refute, but she turns to face the window and inhales sharply through her nose, clearly frustrated by your words. You kneel before her and take her hands in yours, forcing her to look at you. “Hiding does not make you a coward,” you repeat. 

She holds you in that perceptive stare of hers, unmoved and held firm by her resolution. Frankly, you expected no less from her, and her stubbornness makes you smile. She’s similar to you, you think, like a slightly older version of you.

“I understand your determination to see this through,” you continue, “but as a Senator, you’re far too valuable to put at risk for this single act. I admire you greatly, Milady, and I and many others feel that you are bound to create far more positive change in the future. Please, don’t let your fight for good end here. I know Anakin mentioned it to you last night and you didn’t like hiding then either, but… all the Jedi ask for here is time. Once Obi-Wan tracks down the bounty hunter and whoever is behind this, you’ll be back working in the Senate.” 

“Oh, you’re right. It’s just, I feel this anxiousness inside me. Like if I’m not there to ensure the destruction of the act, everything will fall apart.” Padme looks at her hands, rubbing the joint of one of her fingers with her thumb. She cares about the Republic and its people just as much as you do, and you understand her fears. 

“Milady,” you begin softly, but Padme shakes her head before you can finish. 

“Padme.” 

“Padme.” You smile back at her, full of admiration for this incredible woman. “You’ve put in all the work and preparation for this to go smoothly. This battle is almost won, so now it’s time to put your trust in democracy, trust the others in the Republic and keep yourself safe. Chancellor Palpatine will put the rest into motion, so please, don’t worry about anything other than staying safe.” 

She nods quietly at your persuasion and squeezes your hands softly. 

“Well, I’d better go pack then.”

“Would you like my assistance, Padme?”

~~~

Anakin can sense that something’s different between you and Padme, now that he’s back from the Chancellor. A bond wavers faintly between the two of you, one that relies on the foundations of mutual respect. It’s not quite friendship, but any of the coldness that Anakin had sensed before is dissipated. You’ve folded the last of her clothes and head to your room before Anakin gathers the courage to speak to Padme. 

“So? Did you tell her how you feel?” Padme whispers to him, voice hushed like she doesn’t want you to know. It’s a gesture of kindness on her part, sparing both you and Anakin the humiliation of publicly straying from the Jedi Code. 

“Yes,” Anakin breathes out, and his heart soars just thinking of you. Padme smiles at the lovestruck expression on his face and sits on her bed, patting the space next to her. Anakin sits next to her, and Padme places her head softly on his shoulder. “I don’t know what will happen now, though,” he admits to Padme. 

“Aren’t Jedi forbidden to love, Anakin?” 

“Well, I—” 

He’s interrupted by the sight of you standing in the doorway, the shyest hint of a frown marring your face as you take in the position of him and Padme, together. He wonders how much of their conversation you heard. 

“To some extent, yes, milady,” you respond. He can feel the chill in your voice again, and he wonders if it’s jealousy. He can’t imagine why you’d be jealous. He loves you like he could no other, so much so that in your presence he can only feel you. Padme stiffens next to him and lifts her head off of his shoulder, staring directly into your eyes.

“Isn’t that just awful, though?” Padme asks. You smile but it doesn’t quite meet your eyes, and Anakin can feel that you’re absolutely furious with him. 

“Not necessarily, milady. Love is destructive. Makes us lie, fosters hate. It forces even the kindest people to do the most horrible acts. The Jedi Code recognizes that. Those who wield the Force have a responsibility to sacrifice love to truly embrace the Light side.” 

“Isn’t our principle of acting with compassion rooted in love, though? Are we not required to love to act as enforcers of the light?” Anakin asks desperately, because he sees your message clearly and he doesn’t like it. 

“Romantic love is different, Ani,” you sigh, and Anakin notices the nickname that slips from your lips before your mouth tightens in annoyance. He calls your name softly and stands up, paying no heed to the watchful eyes of the Senator by his side. 

“Can I speak to you outside? About some of the details of the transport. I want to run them by you, make sure everything is correct.” You nod but keep your eyes fixed on the Senator. 

“Milady, shall I instruct Captain Typho and Dorme to assist you with your bags?” 

“There’s no need. I’ll call them up and tell them myself. You just worry about figuring out your… transport situation.” You bow at Padme’s dismissal and follow Anakin out the metal doors. He whirls around and pushes you by your shoulders against the circular fame of the doors when they hiss shut. 

“Why were you talking about love with Padme? Maker, Anakin, have you no respect for the Jedi Code, flirting with the very person we’re on this mission to protect?” You fight to keep your voice hushed, but you can’t keep the accusation out of it. 

“I wasn’t flirting with Padme. We’re just friends.” Anakin crosses his arms, and you can tell he’s irked, but you couldn’t care less. 

“Yeah. Right. Because the last time we started talking about love, it’s not like we fucked or anything right?” 

“It’s different with you,” he growls. “And don’t say we fucked. What we did was making love. I love you. I don’t love Padme. That, y/n, is the difference.” 

“Well, you shouldn’t love me. We shouldn’t love each other. This is wrong, Anakin! Do you know how furious Master Obi-Wan would be if he found out about this?” You ask, furiously gesturing between the two of you. “This was a mistake.”

“Don’t you dare call it a mistake,” Anakin snarls. “Don’t you dare, not when I love you like this.” Your breath catches in your throat and all you can do is stare helplessly at him, almost overwhelmed by the strength of his love. And the way he looks at you makes you feel so wanted, so needed that it does feel right. Too right. Which is what snaps you back into reality, where your fate depends on the trajectory of this relationship. 

“Why? That’s all we are, Ani. That’s what this is. A fucking mistake. And if we don’t end this now, we could be led to the Dark Side.” Your voice is sharp, cutting, but it doesn’t seem to impact Anakin as he paces in front of you. 

“Then we’ll leave! Forget the Order. Forget all of this. One word, and we’ll leave this all behind. No Dark Side. No Light Side. Just us, and the future we could have together.” His proposal makes you scoff. 

“And you don’t see the danger in your thoughts? Our love already drives you to the Dark side, to the path of selfishness. You’re the Chosen One, Anakin. You have a responsibility to the galaxy to protect it.” 

“I never asked to be the Chosen One! I never wanted this! And you know that!” Anakin bursts out. And just briefly you put yourself in his shoes, understanding the burden that lies on his shoulders every day. Pressure from Obi-Wan to live up to Qui-Gonn’s expectations of what he truly could become, pressure from the Council to bring the Jedi Order into a new age. In fact, when you think about it, you’re sure that the only time that Anakin doesn’t feel pressure about his determined identity as the chosen one is when he’s with you. And now you’ve gone and ruined his safety, turning into the very thing you were unknowingly shielding him from. It feels like a blow to the stomach, nausea making your blood pump faster. Your vision gets almost dizzy as regret overtakes you, but then you remember Anakin’s ambition and realize you don’t need to be his safety right now, you need to be the reason he becomes the Jedi he was meant to be. 

“Oh, but it works so well for you, doesn’t it? You’re addicted to power, Anakin. You’ll talk about this all you want but you could never give it up. You love this life far too much, but if you want to earn being a Council Member and a Master, finally earn Obi-Wan’s respect, make Anakin Skywalker a name that’s just as strong as Yoda’s, then this? This is fruitless.” Your knees buckle at your final word, because now Anakin knows now that you have no place in his life. You know him too well to expect him to choose you, but for just one heartbeat you wish everything was different. 

Anakin’s thumb swipes across your cheek and you realize you’re crying, gasping for air desperately. 

“I love you,” you whisper. “But it’s not enough. It’s not worth you throwing away the security of the galaxy for me. I can’t let you do that, Anakin. I won’t let you do that.” Anakin doesn’t answer you, just bringing you into his embrace as you try to regain your composure. 

“I’ll show you that we can love each other fully without the universe burning around us. I promise.”

“Please just love me less,” you say. Your voice is dry and scratchy but you put strength into it while shoving him off of you. “I don’t want to lose you, or have either of us lose our status as Jedi. Please. Don’t touch me, Anakin.” 

“I see,” he murmurs and steps back, sparing you a lingering glance full of silent longing, desperate for you to change your mind before he turns and walks away from you. 

~~~

“This is your first solo mission. I trust you’ll be careful and remember your training to stay calm and please, don’t do anything without first consulting me or the Council,” Obi-Wan warns. Then he says your name. “Keep an eye on Anakin,” he instructs you quietly.

“Of course, Master,” you bow your head in deference to him, and step off with Padme by your side. You’re not used to the bulky garb you wear now, matching Padme in the style of dress, minus the headpiece, to pass better as peasants, and your walk is awkward with it as you make your way onto the transporter. 

“Anakin, a word?” Obi-Wan calls out, and Anakin turns back to him, nearly hitting him with the oversized poncho that he wears instead of his usual robes. 

“Sorry, Master,” he chuckles, but Obi-Wan does not return Anakin’s nonchalance. 

“Don’t get overconfident in your abilities, Padawan. This is your first mission without me, and I want you to take this seriously. It’s an honor to serve the Senator, but you must always keep your responsibilities as a Jedi in mind.” Obi-Wan pauses. “And please, take care of one another.” 

“Yes, Master.” Anakin watches you walk to the transporter that will take you to Naboo, body stiff in that way that he knows is because of your discomfort. All he wants is to pick you up and spin you until you’re dizzy and laughing and happy, but he knows he can’t do that anymore. Or he’d break his own heart over and over again, obsessed with the sound of your joy.

After he bows to Master Obi-Wan, he walks over to you, unable to look away. The breeze pushes aside a lock of your hair and as he nears, he can see the bruising details of his love evident on your skin. 

It makes something inside of him snap.

He wants to see you like this always, marked up by him, marked so that everyone knows you’re his and he is yours. He wants to be yours. He wants to make love to you every night and love you so hard you forget your name, forget the Force, forget the Jedi Council.

But then you turn to him and smile, and it’s reserved from him in a way he’s never seen from you before, and he remembers the promise he made to you. To love you less, to limit his boundless adoration and confine it until it bursts. He’s promised the impossible. But to see you smile at him normally, he’d do anything. 

Even this. 

~~~

You’ve never been able to tolerate the transition into hyperdrive. Something about it made you nauseous. Even now, your skin was flushed and palms clammy as you sat before the Senator, tightly gripping Anakin’s hands. 

“Is she okay?” Padme asks Anakin. You can hear them only faintly, like you’ve been submerged underwater, but the gentle pressure of Anakin’s hand in your own reminds you to breathe. He’s your oxygen, and you only regret your reliance on him that much more because you love him, and that only becomes more and more permanent every time his skin touches yours. 

Anakin says your name softly, and it brings you from the muffled sounds of your detachment to the brutishly loud sounds of reality. It feels wrong, but when Anakin says your name again, everything feels okay again. You look into his eyes and the world falls away and it’s just the two of you, the way it should be.  

“It’s almost over,” he whispers to you. You don’t know why him saying this makes you want to cry. He sees the water pooling up in your eyes, and rests his forehead against your own like it’ll shield you from everything. “We’ll get through this,” he promises. “You and me, the way it always has been.”

“And always will be,” you sniffle, not bothering to hold back the weak smile that spreads across your face when he uses the Force to wrap an invisible blanket of light, warm pressure around you. He’s holding you, in front of everyone, but still respecting your wishes and not making a spectacle of the both of you. You’re sure nothing escapes Padme’s eyes, but you’re grateful to have Anakin by your side. You always are. 

Once the ship completes its jump to lightspeed, Padme quickly falls asleep in her seat, slumping onto your lap as you lean your head on Anakin’s shoulder. 

“Thanks for calming me down,” you murmur, quiet as to not awaken the Senator. 

“What are best friends for?” He jokes, kissing the top of your head before resting his own head on top of yours again. 

The two of you sit in silence, and you watch the cyclic rise and fall of his chest with each breath he takes. 

“Sometimes I wish the Order hadn’t taken me when I was a kid,” you confess to Anakin. He nods in understanding and you feel seen, despite the shame that burrows in you at your admission. “It’s been worse than usual recently. I’ve been getting just these flashes of memory, where there was once nothing, and I was loved, Anakin.” Your voice breaks ever so slightly and you cough to cover it, but it doesn’t escape your best friend. He knows you too well for that. 

“You’re still loved.” He says it so quietly you almost think you imagined it, but you know better. 

“I know.” You can’t say anything in response to him other than this. It’s far too dangerous, for the both of you. Because you love him more than you should and it sits between you, puts the two of you in your own little space while putting miles between you both, even when you’re sitting so closely that you can hear his heartbeat. 

“I think we’re close,” you say, sitting up suddenly. It’s too much, being this close to him. Anakin scoffs from beside you and you know he knows the truth behind your action, the pretense of time rendered useless because your thoughts betray you. 

He leans away from you. You wish that hurt you less. 

~~~

Lake Country is beautiful. It hadn’t taken you long to get here, after your short but mortifyingly awkward meeting with the government of Naboo. When the attendants at the palace unload the luggage and Padme has walked out of earshot, you tug on Anakin’s sleeve. 

“You mustn’t be so arrogant, Anakin,” you hiss at him. He rolls his eyes, but you continue. “She was right, you know. We’re still padawans. There was no need to argue like that, it just makes us look unprofessional.” 

“But I was right too! We’re in charge of her security. She should’ve told us that she wanted to come here and why so that we could make sure it was safe. If anything happens to her, it’s on us, so you’ll have to forgive me for actually wanting her to be safe.” 

“Oh, don’t give me that. You got arrogant and jumped in when you shouldn’t have. Yes, she should’ve told us her plans, but you need to control your temper and have some humility.”

“Fine!” Anakin stomps off towards Padme, leaving you alone in the boat. You sigh and follow slowly, admiring the beauty of your surroundings. This, too, was love. The purest form of it, you’d argue. You’re there, in the moment, a witness to the beauty that nature holds. Not wanting to change any of it, knowing that change is inevitable and the version that exists now will remain true in your heart forever. This is what the Jedi rely on, and want to protect. 

You blink, and the magic ends. The beauty remains, but the swell of your heart in response to it has subsided. You continue up the stairs only to find Anakin stroking the Senator’s back.

It’s a disaster you can’t look away from. Padme falls to the intimacy of Anakin’s touch, turning her head towards him to capture his lips with her own. He’s kissing her, and in your mind you see him kissing you, and it’s too much and too little all at once. 

Anger, jealousy, and envy burst inside you, and you can feel your hands shaking in rage. You’re furious. Furious at him, for kissing Padme because you said he couldn’t love you. Furious at Padme, even though it is no fault of hers for kissing what you view as yours. But most of all, you’re furious at yourself. You’ve given Anakin Skywalker far too much power over you and because of your love, your conscious strays from the Light side into the Dark. You’ve never felt such jealousy, and because of it, the Force thrums harder within you. The power your anger fuels you with is seductive, but you fight to destroy it before it destroys you. 

“Senator Amidala,” you bite out sharply, and she steps back from Anakin with a gasp. “I’d appreciate it if you could show us to our chambers. Do keep in mind that we need to be close to you, in case of emergency. If you have any rooms connected to your own, that is best.” 

“Yes, of course,” she says, flustered. You don’t spare Anakin even a single glance as you follow her through the palace. 

~~~ 

You spent the rest of the day in meditation, trying desperately to suppress the feelings that Anakin had elicited in you. The day had come to rest as you futilely attempted to regain your sense of control. The room is bathed in the golden glow of the sunset reflected off of the lake and you almost feel a sense of warmth inside you, but the knocks on the door startle you from your calm. 

“It’s time for dinner, y/n,” Anakin says. His voice is muffled through the door, but you can’t stop the sadness that fills you at his voice. 

“I’ll take my dinner in here,” you respond. When you hear his footsteps head away from the door, you prop your knees upwards and draw them in towards you, encircling them in your arms before resting your forehead on your knees. You feel like you can breathe now, saturated in your sadness but shielded from the world. 

You wish you hadn’t kissed him. It changed everything. Now that you knew there was an undercurrent of desire running between the two of you, every interaction became charged with undeniable tension. You found yourself unable to stop yourself from looking at his lips, staring at him for a little too long. And you pushed him right into Padme’s arms because that was the only place he’d known to put his love before you. As long as he didn’t fall in love with her, you were powerless to say anything, and he could flirt with her as much as he wanted right in front of you. 

You light candles in the room as the daylight fades and you return to your meditation, ignoring the pang of hunger because you’re just not ready to face Anakin yet. You know you’ll have to when he comes for bed, but all the meditation in the world couldn’t prepare you enough to see him without shattering. 

The wood of the doors creaks when Anakin opens and enters, carrying a plate of sliced fruits. The candlelight makes his shadow grow when he walks, making him seem larger than life. Commanding. The flicker of the light makes his shadows shift and run across the room dows dance before he comes to rest in front of you, leaning down to put the fruits down and sitting cross legged. 

“Should you have left the Senator alone?” you ask, studying his face quietly. 

“I’ve programmed R2 to be able to detect any motion that isn’t the Senator or our’s. By now, the servants are in their bed chambers, so if there’s anything, even something small like in Coruscant.” 

“Sometimes I forget how smart you are,” you sigh, and reach forward for the plate. You’re famished, and even though the situation between you and Anakin is tense, it warms you inside to know that he cares for you enough to make sure you eat dinner. 

“I’m sorry I kissed Padme,” Anakin admits to you. You pause, still chewing on the fruit inside your mouth, before swallowing harshly. 

“Why?” You whisper. You’re glad he regrets it, the possessive side of you rearing its ugly head, but you wish you didn’t want to know why. You wish you could leave it as mere regret at falling prey to his desires, but it’s more than that. 

“Because I don’t want to kiss her, I want to kiss you.” 

“Can I ask you why you did it then?” You ask. Thinking about it only rubs salt into your wounds, but you can’t let it go. You need to understand why he kissed her. 

“It’s not like how it is with you. I kissed you and thought of you. I kissed her and thought of you. I wanted to get over you with her, love you less by deflecting it to her, but I see now that it doesn’t work like that. The pain of loving you is easier than the pain of hurting you.” 

“It didn’t hurt me. I’m fine,” you bite out. It’s a lie that you can both see through, but you turn your head to the side and feign interest in the glow of the candles. 

“No, you’re not. You’re jealous. And Jedi can never be jealous, can they?” Anakin asks, standing up. He sweeps his hand across the room, and one by one, the candles you’d so meticulously lit earlier in the evening go out, until there remains just one providing its feeble light to the chamber. 

“Has the Dark side corrupted you, my love?” He asks. His face glows in the dim light, heavy with the weight of your love, and he moves until he’s standing before you. His thumb sweeps against the skin of your cheek, and you find yourself leaning your face further into his hand. He smirks and withdraws his hand, and you have to fight back the desperate noise that bubbles up in the back of your throat. A light pressure pushes you up from your seated position on the floor until you’re kneeling before him, staring up at him as he slides his thumb into your mouth. 

Say my name. You hear him in your head but he’s silent, fingers still pressed into your jaw and imprinting themselves on your lips. He increases the force of his thumb on your lip at your silence. “Anakin,” you breathe out. Quiet. A prayer on your lips. 

“No,” he whispers. “How could my name on your lips ever be anything but Light?” He waves his hand and your outermost robes slide off of you, and you’re left only in your tunic. You hold his stare, unwavering, despite the vulnerability you feel. There’s something that makes you feel heady and light at the sight of him fully clothed, despite your near nudity. You look up at him through your lashes and you can see in his eyes that he wants you just as badly as you want him. 

He moves his hand again and the last candle goes out, its smoke dancing upwards in the pale moonlight of your chambers. 

You can’t see him, but you can feel him. He circles you once, twice, claiming every part of you with his eyes. 

“Give me just this night,” he whispers suddenly in your ear. His nose presses into your jawline as he kisses the skin at the top of your neck, tilting your head to better access the pulse point on your neck. His tongue trails along the marks he left last night, like he’s renewing his claim on you. 

You nod weakly, but he wants more. “Use your words,” he says, tugging on your earlobe with his teeth. 

“Only tonight,” you murmur, leaning your head back onto his shoulder as he continues to make his way down your neck. His big warm hands come to rest on your waist before bunching the fabric of your tunic and tugging it off of you. You gasp when the cold air hits your skin, replaced by the sensation of his fingers trailing up your skin. He palms roughly at your breasts, and you gasp quietly. 

Anakin spreads your knees with his hands, resting you against him so that you can feel the front of his robes press into your bare skin. He knows just how to weaken you, his hands hovering above your inner thighs and skimming up their length until they meet at the apex between your thighs.

And then Anakin pauses. You can feel his eyes on your naked form, observing every faint tremor running through your body as your arousal grows. It’s getting harder to breathe. He flips you quickly, spinning you around so you’re facing him and lowering your back until it meets the floor. His lips meet yours in quiet moonlight, your desperate whines swallowed into his mouth and meeting his hungry moans. The force of his lips against yours is tidal, unlike the sweet gentleness of yesterday— Anakin knows he’s going to lose you now, and he’s taking in as much of you as he can with every movement against your lips. He pulls away just slightly, panting against your open mouth as his hand snakes down to cup your slick cunt and grinding his palm against it. 

“So needy, my love,” he murmurs quietly. You can feel the calluses on his palm brushing against your slit. 

“Want you, Ani,” you gasp. He slides two slim digits into you, never breaking his gaze on your face as his fingers work in and out of you. You feel exposed, vulnerable, but hold no shame as the brazen desire in Anakin’s eyes grows. He leans forward to kiss your face softly, avoiding only your lips as you subdue your moans. 

You’re stretched out around Anakin’s fingers, and every pulse into you pushes the pads of his fingertips against your velvet walls. The way he’s looking at you, touching you, feels like worship. He brings his thumb to circle your clit, with just enough pressure to make you desperate for more without giving you more. 

“Do you see the madness you drive me to?” He asks, nuzzling your jaw. You can’t help but whimper, part of you wishing that you’d never been together in the first place, the other part addicted to Anakin. The duality is dizzying. 

Anakin unravels you underneath him. He looks deep into your dark eyes, into your tired soul, and sees the vulnerabilities in your strength. He sees how to draw the truth out from you, and the rush of power he gets from it makes his head swim. But he loves and respects you far too much to play mind games with you. 

“Submit to me, my love,” Anakin says. You bow your head as he withdraws his fingers from you and begins to undress himself, allowing yourself to catch your breath again. 

“I don’t know how to love you in moderation,” you say when his tip pushes just into you, resting just slightly past your muscles as your cunt clenches around his girth. Your confession hangs in the air before it is lost by the thrust of Anakin’s hips that makes his hip bones meet your pelvis. His hands grab at your hips roughly, suspending your lower body in the air as he begins to rock into you. At each thrust into you, a flame sparks into life from candles scattered through the room. They follow your building tension as Anakin pushes you up the slope of pleasure. 

He believes in the sanctity of skin. The bareness of your tangled forms as you make love allows him to see the Light of the Force truly, a revelation of holiness found within you. Anakin doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this, enough of you pressed so tightly against him that where he ends, you begin. You’re his beginnings. You’re his future. 

Anakin’s movements are slow, planned, withdrawing his length until he’s just teasing your opening before slamming back into you with such force that you can almost feel the energy of your bodies’ motions intertwining with the Force flowing around you. He pushes deeper still, using his thumb to trace circles onto your clit as he pounds into you. Your moans threaten to crescendo, and you bring your hand to your mouth to attempt to muffle the sounds, but Anakin’s fingers tug at your wrist to draw your hand away. 

“Afraid the Senator will hear you, my love?” He asks, snapping his hips into yours and driving his cock further and more forcefully than he had before. You cry out, unashamed, clenching around his length as he continues to fuck you ceaselessly. Here, sprawled out on the floor, there is nothing for you to grab on to, and you blindly throw your arms upwards to him and dig your nails into his shoulder, torso, leaving red claw marks against his body. Mine. You’re mine. 

As your orgasm draws nearer, your body unconsciously directs the energy Anakin fucks into you by harnessing the Force, and you only vaguely register your hands clenching and lit candles inching into the air. 

Drip. 

A bead of melted wax drips off of the candle and hits the floor in unison with the slap of Anakin’s skin meeting yours. 

Drip. 

You reach up and tug his blond braid, cradling his face with your hand. Your skin looks pretty, you think, contrasted just perfectly against his paler tones. 

Drip. 

You submit completely to him. Your legs lock around his waist and draw him in deeper to you, any cautions abandoned as you choose to seek pleasure in your love. Damn the hurt. 

“I love you,” he says breathlessly. Promising.

“I love you too.” Surrendering. 

Anakin leans down and kisses you softly, bringing you to the edge as his own climax nears. The both of you finish simultaneously, stars bursting behind your eyelids as your cunt convulses around his own throbbing length. Then you feel something in your stomach drop as your body registers the disturbance in the Force before your mind does. Anakin falls forwards into your embrace and time is frozen as you both soak in the last moments of skin against skin, but it’s tainted by the wrongness that staccatos through the Force.  

He feels it too, because Anakin’s body tenses up in your arms. Anakin’s always been more Force sensitive than you, and whenever there’s a disturbance in the Force, it always affects him more than it does you. Oftentimes, it’s a storm you simply have to wait out, usually the result of a Jedi who’s passed away on a mission, one who you usually aren’t too familiar with. There’s a rhythm the two of you fall into in times like this, intricate and intimate and the result of only a friendship spanning over a decade.

You harness the Force to lightly pull him away from your body and float him over to the bed, where he lays nude, shivering. You’re quick to dress him, kissing his forehead as he’s rendered frozen by the sheer impact of the disturbance, and you begin to grow worried when he curls up into himself. You run your fingers down his braid as an attempt to soothe him, which usually works, but he’s unresponsive to that too. So you simply dress him and yourself before extracting a bit of your own Light to wrap him in, hoping to help Anakin as he braves through it all. 

“You’re not alone,” you say quietly, kissing his temple as he lays still. Your honesty is temporary, because you’d only promised one night. One night was all you could afford before it would jeopardize your future, but more importantly, jeopardize Anakin’s progress as the Chosen One. You needed to protect him for everyone else’s sake. 

But Anakin only grows worse as the minutes pass. The unease builds in your stomach, both at Anakin’s persisting state and the increasing disturbance in the Force. This isn’t something far removed, this is personal. But you’re not advanced enough to determine what it is and Anakin’s too delirious in his state to be able to tell you, so all you can do is hold him close to you and whisper reassurances in his ears. 

The roar of a ship and the bright flashes of its jets permeate through the windows from the outside, and you let go of Anakin, startled, and the disturbance you feel bursts sharply before quieting down. You realize dimly that it’s Obi-Wan and you’ve let go of Anakin before you realize it, running through the castle with fear nipping at your heels. Outside, rain begins to fall, heavy and foreboding and echoing loudly through the castle as it hits the windows. Obi-Wan pounds at the doors of the palace, slowly but forcefully and you all but run right into the doors in your haste to let him in. 

“Obi-Wan!” You gasp when he falls through the doors at your feet, tunic and robes stained with the faint maroon of blood. 

“Padawan,” he grunts, attempting to push himself upwards when you force him back down to the floor with a single hand. 

“Obi-Wan, you’re hurt,” you cry out, quickly stripping him of the robes to inspect the source of his wounds. A single blast wound reveals itself when you tug his tunic upwards, the smell of burnt skin making bile rise up in your throat as the wound’s singed edges continue to force Obi-Wan into further agony. 

“What happened?” you ask, frenzied, hands moving erratically over Obi-Wan’s wounds as you try desperately to calm yourself down enough to heal him. 

“I sent a distress signal around an hour or two ago. I was trying to track down the bounty hunter when things went sideways on Kamino, and I requested backup from one of you to come, but I’m afraid the signal went unreceived.” Obi-Wan’s words send a bolt of regret through your spine when you realize that the reason that his signal went unreceived was because of your love for Anakin allowing you to neglect all parts of your responsibilities as a Jedi. Obi-Wan’s injury and the pain he was undergoing was because of you. It was yours and Anakin’s fault, and that realization forces tears into your eyes and presses into your nose as guilt permeates every part of your body. 

“I’m sorry, Master,” you sniffle, allowing the tears to fall from your eyes as your hands remain over his wound, quickly patching up and rewiring the injury that Obi-Wan had sustained thanks to your negligence. 

Your love for Anakin had caused this. Your love for Anakin had caused destruction and pain. There was no Light to be found here, only pain. Only hurt. 

Obi-Wan’s wounds are almost healed when Anakin comes stumbling in the darkness towards you, clumsy footsteps loud in the halls of the palace. He doesn’t even see Obi-Wan as he seeks you out, drawing you upwards into his embrace as Obi-Wan watched it unfold. 

“My love, I think the disturbance is gone,” he says, turning your face to him and pressing a kiss on your lips as you freeze. Obi-Wan clears his throat loudly from behind you, and only then does Anakin realize that the two of you are not alone. He breaks apart from you and stands still before the scrutiny of the older Jedi. Your Master’s eyes flit between the two of you and all he does is sigh, with a disappointment you never thought you’d feel directed towards you. You know instantly that he understands exactly the poisoned love that’s taken root between you and Anakin, because how could he not?

“I trusted you,” Obi-Wan says sadly. And that’s all he needs to say to break your heart, because you fall to your knees wordlessly as his faith in you crumbles. 

“I’m sorry, Master,” Anakin says, but you don’t really hear him. You’re sure he understands by now that your combined selfishness had put Obi-Wan in harm's way, and soured your relationship by turning it into the one thing he swore it would never become.   

You’re clutching at Obi-Wan’s robes as he stares deep into your soul, because you’ve betrayed your master. Time and time again, Obi-Wan has made it clear how important it is that Anakin stays on the path of the Light, because Anakin is the Chosen One. Not you, nor him. And it was supposed to be your duty to stop him from straying. Instead, you became the reason he strayed, the reason he adopted possessiveness over the purity of the Jedi Faith. 

You’ve corrupted Anakin Skywalker. Weakened him. You’ve jeopardized the fate of the universe thanks to your selfishness. 

But the worst part is that Obi-Wan looks at you differently now. Blankly, untrusting, walls up. Like he hadn’t raised you from your childhood, bandaged your wounds and guided you through countless missions. And you realize you’ve lost him, lost Anakin, lost the chance to truly belong as a Jedi. Because it’s different for you than it is for Anakin, which is something you’ve always known, even if only vaguely.

You’re not as important.

And it’s not fair, but you’re left with no choice, your last act of sacrifice before you are forced to abandon the Jedi path entirely to let go of Anakin and allow him to be the good that you can never be. 

“Anakin, go to your quarters. I must discuss something with my padawan.” Anakin steps backwards, still facing you, unable to look away from your form because he doesn’t want to remember you like this, broken down and weary, but he’s never going to see you again, and nothing will change that. This is the last time he’ll see you, and a part of him is lost forever knowing this. Obi-Wan knows. Anakin doesn’t have the power to change your outcome and all he can do is watch as you lose everything right before his eyes. 

Obi-Wan turns away from you and it takes everything in your power to not fall to his feet and beg for forgiveness. You’d do it in a heartbeat if you thought it would change a thing, but the only result would be Obi-Wan losing even more of his respect for you. He says your name softly before getting up, looking at you one last time with pity. 

“You are to take the ship I used to get here to Coruscant, to the Jedi Temple, where Master Windu will be waiting for you to turn in your lightsaber. From then, he will assist you in settling into a life outside of the Jedi Order.” You cry out at his words, and Obi-Wan fights back his own tears as he restrains from clutching your hands and comforting you the way he’s done a thousand times before. Then he lifts your limp body from the floor, wracked with sobs, before placing you gently on the cold ground outside the palace and closing the doors quietly. 

“Don’t leave me,” you beg, quietly at first, but as the desperate mantra falls over and over again from your lips, it turns into screams of pain. You bring your fists to the door, banging over and over again, but to no avail. Your cries are silenced as the rain sticks your hair to your skin and you stumble over your feet as you try to make your way to the ship, collapsing just at the base of the ship as your loss finds its home in your bones. 

And you are left with nothing but the weight of your grief.

[natriae]

chapter 6

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2k words

It's been a week and you still haven't messaged Ushijima. What would you say anyway; 'sorry for ditching you. That was your son btw<3'. Deciding not to worry about that you moved on with your day.

Today you were getting ready to go meet Sakusa at a small restaurant that just opened in Tokyo. It had Miya in the name. Not a good sign. But he swore it was good, and it was the man's first branch of the restaurant. What you didn't realize though was that Sakusa lived in Osaka and took a 3 hour bullet train to meet you just for lunch. He definitely thinks this is a date…You weren't looking for a relationship right now. You were content with your life. Just you and Isa… and maybe a cat in the near future. You left the apartment and began walking the busy streets to Onigiri Miya.

Walking into the restaurant you immediately scolded him for not telling you till after he was already on the train about how far he lived. He laughed and said, "did you think Tokyo had two volleyball teams," his smirk seemed a bit condescending, but when you looked away embarrassed he returned to his resting face. "Okay but seriously I'm here to see my cousin. He's here for a bit so I thought I'd visit him," His usual cold demeanor had a lighter tone to it when talking about his cousin. Cute.

Once the two of you sat down you finally took in the restaurant. It was very cozy and it seems that Sakusa took the only Kotatsu (heated table) in the restaurant. There were cute red and black cushions the two of you sat on and it seemed like there were no real chair spots in the restaurant. It was cozy like the countryside you were used to. It reminds you of home. Reminds you of sitting in Waka's lap after practice to get some hayashi rice- stop thinking about him. You gently hit your head again and Sakusa scrunched his eyebrows looking at you. 

"Sorry, habit," you said. Smiling lightly at the man. He was much more handsome when there weren't tears in your eyes. He was pale, and his hair looked quite soft. Much different from Ushijima. Ushijima was always tanned from being outside, either playing volleyball or gardening. He always looked so handsome in the summer when his tan would finally set. He'd really be glowing, but his hair was always cut short so it wasn't that soft. He also washed it everyday because of sweat, ew.

"Do you like Onigiri?" Sakusa asked.

"huh," you said. What's with you daydreaming more about Ushijima, he doesn't mean anything to you anymore. 

"I asked if you liked Onigiri," Sakusa said. He leaned a bit closer to you and he had the cutest pout on his face. Yeah you could get used to this.

Leaning in a bit more you finally responded, "of course I do. It's Isamu's favorite food. I'll have to take him here someday," you said looking around the mostly wooden interior. 

"has he lived in Tokyo his whole life?" Sakusa's eyebrow lifted up at that question pushing his two perfect moles together. 

"Yeah, never gone back to Miyagi, but we like it here," You said, but Sakusa could tell it was like you were trying to convince yourself of the fact. There was something about the way you said it that screamed 'I wish I never had to leave home'. 

He looked your face up and down seeing that you got lost in your thoughts again. He turned over to see Osamu making his way over to their table. Perfect timing. You looked up to see an Atsumu look alike. Oh right, their twins. Osamu looks much different. He probably changed the most out of anyone. His arms looked softer in his fitted black shirt, but it was obvious he still was strong. He had a bit of a belly now, but you're glad to see he was eating well. "Is there anything I can get started for ya?" The now black haired Miya asked you. 

"I'll take the chef's special," you said.

"good choice because i'm the chef!" You couldn't deny that the Miya twins still had their cute charms. He seems to be genuinely enjoying his job. You remember he always looked depressed during games, and now there was a huge smile gracing his face. "What about ya omi?" 

"My usual please," Sakusa said, like he couldn't believe Osamu was even asking him. He must have visited the one in Osaka a lot for him to already know his order. With that Osamu left and returned to the kitchen. You took the time to admire how straightforward Sakusa was, yet he still had manners. Like a better Wakatoshi. You really need to stop comparing everyone to him. Sighing you snuggling into the Kotatsu, and turn towards Sakusa. "What are you thinking about," Sakusa asked. 

"nothing-"

" Ushijima? I saw your son talking to him at the game. Don't worry, I think he's to stupid to realize that's his son," Sakusa said, as if he was reading your mind. Nevermind, you don't like the straightforwardness. He had no reason to be in your business right now. 

"hey don't talk about him like that," you responded genuinely angry, "but yeah I am. How do you know Isamu is his kid anyway," You asked, as much as you don't want Sakusa in your business you were curious. 

"well, i'm not dumb like everyone else," he started but immediately switched up after seeing you agitated face, "after you left Ushijima asked everyone if they knew where you were, i stalked you for a bit, and one of your friend's posted Isa for his 1st birthday and i thought wow that kid's a mini Ushijima, and then I did the math and realized… that was a mini Ushijima. I never told him that I knew where you were," He said finishing his story, but it didn't seem like the whole truth. Trying to comprehend everything just said you couldn't help, but stay stuck on the 'he asked everyone if they knew where you were'. 

Trying to muster up the courage you asked, "he was looking for me," don't cry y/n now isn't the time. 

"Yeah, but I think he gave up pretty fast," at which Sakusa looked away from you for the first time and he shrugged his shoulders. A part of you found it hard to believe that Ushijima gave up so fast. When he had a goal he would see it though, but then the other half of you said that you could never trust him. You weren't his number one priority. Why would he try so hard? 

At this Osamu came out of the kitchen holding two large plates. Definitely more than you ordered. 

"Here ya go! Made some extra fer the little one," He quickly left after placing the plates down. 

Snapping your head quickly to Sakusa you immediately questioned him, " did you tell him I had a son?" You were pissed. Why would he do that? He's really getting on your last nerve, maybe he isn't as nice as you thought he was. 

" I didn't," he responded just as quickly, "maybe you should think about his idiotic brother that talked to your son at the game," You hate that he was right. He scoffed and continued, "not everyone is out to hurt you, y/n,". He was right. Not everyone is, but you have just been so on edge ever since leaving. The more time that passes the worse the consequences will get. You know, but it's too late now. Biting into you Onigiri you couldn't help but let out a sigh of happiness. You could cry over the Onigiri. It was perfect. Osamu must be magic because there is no reason for it to be this good. "It's good, right?" He asked, smiling a bit with his mouth full of food. You couldn't help but nod enthusiastically. Way more than good. You cannot wait to bring Isa here. 

After the two of you enjoyed your meal you began to walk aimlessly down the street. There were so many shops and restaurants on this side of town. You wish you had more spending cash, so you and Isamu could go on more adventures like this. One's where you could get him more things that he wants, not just the necessities. You feel out of place. You can't afford any of this stuff. In your peripherals you could see Sakusa glancing at you every once in a while. He kept walking closer to you and his hand would brush yours. Eventually his right pinky hooked to the front of your left hand, but before he could move any further you heard someone yell your name.  You knew it could be from no other than a fiery redhead. Before you could turn around someone was launching themselves at you back and latched on. A deep voice followed soon after telling the redhead to get off of you.

"y/n!" he shouted again. Completely ignoring Sakusa like he was a fly he just needed to swat away. 

"Satori! omg your hair. Where did it go," He giggled at your reaction. 

Putting a hand to his buzzed hair he said "ita kinda fell off," a small smirk present on his face.

"I thought you said you buzzed it?" Ushijima asked, clearly not understanding the joke.

Sakusa pushed Satori a bit and said, "hey, i'm still here," Satori had made a face at his intrusion, and Sakusa continued when he saw Ushijima standing there. He bowed and said, "ushijima," his voice got deeper when he said his name. 

Ushijima did the same and the two six foot men glared at each other between you and Satori. "oh tennssionnn," Satori said, rolling his eyes and sucking in a breath between his teeth. Pushing Sakusa out of the way much harder than Sakusa did him he walked closer to you and explained how much he missed you. "Miracle boy and I spent years looking for you, why did you leave," Ushijima clearly hadn't told him the full story of your relationship.

"oh, Sakusa told me Ushijima gave up pretty quickly," Oh how wrong you were. You could tell by Ushijima scrunching his nose and the front of his eyebrows pointing down in anger. Satori too side eye'd Sakusa in anger. Grabbing your left shoulder, Satori lightly led you to start walking with him. "You know men, and all their lying, can't ever get a full story from them, huh. That's why I'm here. I knew there was a reason I needed to return from Paris," Satori said, looking off into the sky. Like he was much wiser than he actually was.

"you moved to Pari-" before you could finish, Satori shushed you and looked back up at the sky. 

" Ushijima and I trekked a long way, metaphorically of course, after you left Ushijima spent every waking day morning you. He'd sleep at your parents house, and at one point he got on his knees to beg them to tell him where you were," Satori continued his dramatic story. If you were alone you wouldn't be able to tell if he was serious or if it was for effects, but you can see Ushijima watching the ground embarrassed and Sakusa rolling his eyes waiting for any moment to jump in. "Eventually I forced him to continue practicing to get his mind off things, and if he ran into you. You guys were destined…Now we must go. I've said too much" He grabbed Ushijima's forearm and dragged him away waving aggressively at the two of you. Sakusa's hands were now in his pockets, and he looked ready to cuss out Satori at any moment. Looking back in front of you you pulled out your phone to check the time and see if you had any messages. Not mentally prepared to indulge in all the information you were just given.

"you kno-" Sakusa had started. 

"shit I need to pick up Isamu," You said, eyes widened at how little time you still have until his school ends. "bye Sakusa," you said while running the other direction.

tags: @mineta-phobic @rukia-uchiha-98 @ssc7514 @megumuro

thoughts? ALSL TWO CHAPTERS IN ONE DAY IM ON A ROLL (i actually wanna get to the fluff so badly)

[callmearcturus]

Stumbles in covered in dust to pass you a note that says "Arc please your analysis of the strange priesthood (your words)/odd mysticism (mine) of the IMF in Dead Reckoning, I need it urgently"

(It is such an integral part of the movie and its just one hell of a lore drop and I also have Thoughts about it and how it makes So much sense for Ethan's MILF era but you first you first)

bless you and all your endeavours

SPOILERS FOR THE ENTIRE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE FRANCHISE

I want to talk about the evolution of the IMF. Because one of the things that always kind of confused me about it was what it actually was. Is it another three-letter agency or is it a task force inside the CIA or... is it something else entirely?

IMO the answer changes over the course of the movies. In MI1, there is a concrete institution, the mainframe for the IMF is inside Langley, thus it seems to be part of the CIA. And it's kind of the villain of the movie honestly; the IMF mole hunt gets Ethan's team killed and almost gets him killed because he can't turn to the very agency/group/force that he's supposed to be working for to get assistance.

This idea of a group that is very rigid is continued/heightened in MI2 and MI3. The IMF misleads and lies to Ethan. They are still be bad guys. In MI2, Swanbeck uses Ethan to manipulate Nyah without cluing him in and is upset that Ethan didn't bring back the deadly super-virus for them to have. In MI3, the entire IMF just feels like the FBI in structure, all the visual signifiers casting it as a discount FBI. And that's echoed in the way the IMF handles its agents, the rigidity of the structure, the oversight, the centrality of the headquarters-- it all points to the IMF being a weird 9 to 5 govt job until someone goes on a mission.

There is a hierarchy, there is a director and assistant director and mission handler and tech team and all this shit, right.

Then we reach the McQuarrie Trilogy-cum-Quadrilogy, and things begin to change.

In Ghost Protocol, there is a feeling that the agency (if that's what the IMF even is) is more... amorphous. It's made clear there are safehouses and caches just shoved in various corners of the world. There are mentions of a headquarters (specifically, that it doesn't exist anymore) but when its time to get a new mission, Ethan hands them out from fuckign Seattle, and then walks off into the smoke to his next one. After Benji and Carter have their disastrous mission that sets off the plot, they don't circle up at HQ in the same way that happens in MI3, they are just directed to go grab Ethan, and clearly they find a place to grab some gear beforehand. The IMF is decentralized.

Then oh fucking boy, Rogue Nation. The CIA absorbs the IMF's assets and all we see is the CIA's HQ, not any central location of the IMF itself. Even in the intro when Brandt is monitoring the team going after the package on the plane, he's clearly in some shipping containers-turned-monitoring office. And Ethan going rogue survives by picking over the abandoned remnants of older safehouses.

Another interesting pivot happens in RN. Ethan is explicitly the functional leader of the IMF by example. There is no new secretary to give orders and hasn't been for years, there is no director, the closest thing we get to a hierarchy is Brandt who could allegedly "authorize" things but the agents just.... dodge him by not looping him in.

The idea of a structured organization is fully jettisoned in favor of the modern IMF, which mostly seems to be a lot of people under the radar working together to share information and execute missions.

Emotionally, Ethan is the leader of this new type of IMF, and we are in the movie that truly sets off on the idea that Ethan's ethos is that... he can't handle casualties. It's the blunt object used to hurt him, the way Lane murders the IMF plant in front of him, and his expression of haunted shock is vivid and clear.

All the way back in MI1, Ethan stopped Krieger from killing a bystander, telling him they didn't leave a body count. And by RN, that's become the bedrock of the IMF, the idea that the lives of the many are never more important than the few, and the IMF agents will destroy themselves in the name of getting everyone out alive. There are no acceptable losses.

This is bad, frankly. It is a very bad weakness for a super secret spy to have. But it is TEXTUALLY the entire point of Fallout, that Ethan can't let Luther die. In RN, he couldn't let Benji die. He couldn't let that random French cop die. Over and over, Ethan is given a choice between "save a ton of people" and "save one person" and keeps picking both, and it hurts him every time. It is unreasonable and demands so much from him.

And I have been wondering what that was building to, and Dead Reckoning lays it out.

The IMF as a formal institution doesn't exist anymore. There is no director, there's no hierarchy. What we see of a possible HQ is not the IMF, its everyone else in the intelligence community. As Kittridge explains, the IMF is a mail drop where they "leave word" and hope someone inside the group gets it and takes care of it. There is no oversight because each agent is basically a self-contained satellite.

AKA the way Ethan has found he works best. For every. single. fucking. movie. the IMF has been a hindrance at best and The Bad Guy at worst.

When we meet Ethan in Dead Reckoning, he is a man standing in an old building with sturdy walls and high ceilings. He initiates a new member and tells them they made the right Choice. It is the reassurance of an elder member to a novice.

Because I think... Ethan has essentially guided the IMF to this. How the fuck does anyone survive when there is no hierarchy, there is this creed of Save Everyone Yes Everyone, how do they do that?

Well. Everyone in the IMF lives by simple rules. Any IMF agent looks to another and says "your life will always mean more to me than my own." And the details don't matter. There is no exception to this.

The reason Ethan is alive is because his life means that much to his team, and their lives mean that much to him, so they survive by prioritizing each other in a way that borders on irrational.

This is where I think we get into the weird priesthood/odd mysticism of the IMF. They are a self-selecting group of people fanatically devoted to the preservation of everyone, and are skilled enough to back it up. There is a level of altruistic devotion there that's absent from the other agencies. Hell, Kittridge is back and when we catch up with him, he's fucking trying to buy the key to the fuckign Entity! Once again the CIA is evil, shock of shocks.

In a franchise where the CIA is always evil and the IMF As An Organization isn't better, the only moral choice seems to be to opt-into caring radically about everyone. It's the only counterpoint possible.

I think its significant that in Dead Reckoning, with this new evolution of the IMF, we only see Ethan and the team in old buildings. They are fading remnants. They can't pass on the responsibility to family, so they keep watch for others who have what it takes. They are a small, dwindling group, and they are the only people that can destroy the Entity.

Punct and I have talked about how Ethan defeated the Syndicate by infecting them with humanity basically; through Ethan's influence, Lane becomes vicious and petty in a way he'd like to deny, but he is motivated by his connection to Ethan more than his ideals. Similarly, I think Ethan and his ilk have infected the IMF with this strange solemn duty, and act as guiding stewards. It's an ideal that will die, but until it does, they will keep saving everyone they can, because no one else will.