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enkisstories · 5 years ago

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Just like them (part 6)

Park Avenue 1554 November 17, 2038 1:14 am

They say the android rights movement was kicked off when the painter Carl Manfred returned home from a party and found the light switched on in his workshop.

Daniel Phillips-no-longer had just returned home from a coffee shop at Capitol Park and found the door to the terrace ajar. It was everyone’s guess what would start from that point… The real question was, had someone come in, and was still sneaking around the apartment, or had the burglar already left?

Now normally Daniel would have taken out his phone to make a call, to prove a point. But in this situation time was of essence, so he started dialing the DPD in his head. However, the signal didn’t get through. None of his thought-commands left the android brain, Daniel realized. He couldn’t make a call, browse the internet, or connect to the various household electronics. Something was jamming his signals, effectively putting the android into flight mode.

There was a shadow, then an incoming signal, that the deviant rebuked, and then something heavy impacted on his head. The last thought that crossed Daniel’s mind before temporarily shutting down was that Tina Chen had been right: He really wouldn’t have needed to worry about the missing apartment key. The still not repaired door alone had been an invitation to a burglar.

And the first thought upon waking up again, sometime after sunrise, was that said burglar must have been an android, because their first impulse had been to wirelessly shut down Daniel before they had went for the baseball bat.

“Kin-betraying swine!” Daniel hissed. “Just you wait, I’m going to unleash Connor on your sorry ass!”

The apartment’s new inhabitant took a few minutes to take inventory of what was missing. He was in luck, because most of the irreplaceable stuff in the flat was of low monetary value and therefore hadn’t been of interest to the burglar. All the family photos and little mementos were still there and what had gotten taken wasn’t really needed, especially not when you didn’t eat and were able to watch TV in your own head.

Daniel fed the fishes and the pet rat, a half-starved white-and-black patterned fellow that he had taken in after his owners had fled Detroit in a hurry. Then he left the apartment again to personally report the incident to the police. The deviant also didn’t like the hum behind his forehead that had grown quieter, but wouldn’t subside altogether. He decided to swing by an Android Zone for a checkup later, just to be on the safe side.

Entering the precinct Daniel realized that it was his third visit in as many days.

That’s three times more than in my whole life before the revolution! Am I living here now or what?!

The reception was manned, once again, by an ST300 android, no longer Tina Chen acting as a substitute. Only now the ST300’s nameplate read “Rika” and the LED on the android’s temple was missing. Rika smiled at the arrival, but before so much as a greeting could get exchanged, Detective Reed stormed out of the restricted area, drawing everyone’s attention. The man was muttering under his breath - lots of “fuck”s, but Daniel also recognized a short phrase: “team building measure my ass”.

“This is the detective you will want to talk to, Mr. Daniel”, Rika told Daniel after he had explained what had happened to him earlier. “Mr. Reed of the android related crime section.”

Gavin turned around sharply.

“Unless it wants to turn itself in, whatever it has to say won’t fall into my responsibility.”

“But it does!” Daniel insisted. “I was attacked by an android tonight!”

The statement was met with a gleeful grin: “You tin cans are duking it out amongst each other now? Works for me! Well, it was nice having known you, “Mister” Daniel. Now vamoose!”

The detective proceeded to grab a package from the counter, growling “Your locomotion software bugged or what? This is the last time I’m coming out here to fetch something!”, to what Rika replied in her usual friendly voice that she’d make sure to send the parcel to his desk via UPS next time and put it on Mr. Reed’s expense report. Daniel was certain that the human hadn’t really listened to the reply, because if he had, he’d exploded into violence.

When Gavin strode back towards the barrier, Daniel stepped into his way.

“There was a crime committed by an android. Against a person. That sounds like the textbook description of what your section is about!”

“And I fucking told you just now that it isn’t my job to investigate this shit!”

“Is, too!”

“Is not!”

“That your last word?”

“Yes. Now piss off or I’m going to have you removed by force!”

Daniel shook his head.

“Damn, Mr. Reed”, he said, “I wish we’d met earlier! Like by the swimming pool on our terrace, in a starry summer night in August…”

The detective contorted his face into what might pass as a smile. It had to be a smile, because it was… truth be told, it was endearing.

“Yeah”, Gavin nodded. “I’m sorry Captain Allen shot you off that roof.”

He took a step closer towards the PL600 and then suddenly slung his arm around the machine. Daniel didn’t understand what had caused the change. Just a moment ago they had been shouting at each other, but now Gavin was almost hugging Daniel. It was astonishing! Sympathy? From a human?

Gavin drew the android closer.

“Cuzz if he hadn’t done that” he hissed, “you wouldn’t have dozed through the Recall in our archive, but went straight to the Recycling Center where you belong!”

He pushed Daniel away, laughed out loud and was still laughing when the android left the police station.

After getting turned down at the DPD, Daniel sought out the other 50% of the android related crime section at their home: Hank Anderson.

“…and thus Reed refused to even create a case file”, he finished his recounting of the encounter.

A genuine smile crossed Hank’s face, but Daniel had once again learned to not trust those. And indeed Hank said: “Sweet! Maybe we can put him on probation now!”

“Isn’t anybody going to do something about my attacker?!”

“Yes, yes, I’m getting to that”, the detective grumbled. “Just let me grab a bite before we drive back. I’m not exactly running on happy thoughts and sunshine here.”

“Who is, these days…”

Together they went to the kitchen, from where weird noises had emanated all through their discussion already. Now Daniel saw what had caused those: Connor was standing at the stove, making war against scrambled eggs and the butchered remains of something green.

After watching the RK800 for a while, Daniel spoke up:

“You know what’s even more pathetic than me, Connor?”

“Yes: Gavin!”

“Take another guess.”

Connor was now stabbing the eggs, probably taking inspiration from something he had seen at a crime scene. Gooey particles escaped the carnage left and right. Daniel almost couldn’t bear watching the sight, and when Connor reached for the salt dispenser, he grabbed the RK800 by its wrist.

“Don’t, Connor! In the name of all the good that may be left in the world, don’t do it!”

Confused the deviant hunter replied that he had forgotten to add the salt before, to which Daniel replied that substituting it with sugar now wouldn’t help.

Connor put down the presumed salt dispenser and started rummaging for the real one in the cupboards.

“Can’t the lieutenant just eat something at the police station?” Daniel pressed. It wasn’t just that he was in a hurry. At this point even the contents of a random evidence bag ought to be less of a health risk than the RK800’s kitchen experiments.

“What’s your gripe? Hank likes my food!”

“I highly doubt that. Eating your “food” is like playing Russian Roulette.”

“Hank… used to like that, too. - And besides, you could lend me a hand here!”

“Sorry, dude, can’t help you. My cooking app got corrupted when someone shot at me.”

It was a lie, but not a too obvious one. A few of Daniel’s apps had indeed suffered from the deviant getting shot, others had stopped working due to deviance in itself and for others yet again the subscription had run out. Daniel was able to live in the apartment Caroline was still paying rent for, unaware of who was using it at the moment, but he didn’t have disposable money to renew those subs. However, out of all the skills the android used to have access to there were two and a half that Daniel considered his “native” skills, related to activities that contributed too much to his identity for him to ever lose his expertise: Cooking, Parenting and a little Driving. In these areas the deviant had amassed actual experience of the kind not even a full reset could ever clear completely.

Eventually Connor served Hank the sugar-free, but almost sufficiently salted, scrambled eggs on toast. The human in turn produced a slim package from his jacket’s inside pocket that he held out towards the guest.

“Bubble gum? No? Cigarette, then?”

“We’re androids, lieutenant. We don’t…”

Daniel didn’t finish the sentence, because Lt. Anderson was grinning at him like a man who knew more about a subject than that smug teen across from him. And hadn’t he seen another PL600 chew bubble gum just the day before?

“There… seems to be a lot I… don’t know about deviance?” Daniel tried and Hank’s expression changed to one indicating something close to respect.

“I don’t think I’m ready yet to try any munchies, Lieutenant. But even so – thank you!”

(to be continued)

#dbh #detroit become human #dbh daniel #dbh gavin #dbh connor #dbh hank #dbh st300 #danielgavinnewstory #dbhtextpost

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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MST3K Season 13: All The Movies, Details, and Release Date

https://ift.tt/3xvGq46

Mystery Science Theater 3000’s Turkey Day isn’t just an annual marathon of classic episodes to sit back and watch on Thanksgiving. Depending on the timing, fans watch it hoping to see some kind of news. In this era when MST3K’s always in flux, viewers have their fingers crossed that we’re going to see some kind of look into the future of the franchise. Luckily, Turkey Day 2021 gave us plenty to sink our teeth into.

To get us back up to speed, after years of being off TV, a Kickstarter campaign started up in 2015 and successfully brought MST3K back for an eleventh season on Netflix for 2017. It ran for fourteen episodes and while the new cast needed some time to figure themselves out, it had plenty of high notes. Then things seemed to wither before it had a chance to soar.

The twelfth season hit in 2018 with a mere six episodes, each cut shorter than your usual MST3K episode. Netflix quietly cancelled the show, with part of the agreement being that creator Joel Hodgson had to wait at least three years before finding a new home for the show. A series of live tours helped keep the brand active, but COVID threw a bit of a wrench into that.

Thankfully, another successful Kickstarter will bring us another season and a new home for the show. This time, we’re getting thirteen episodes on Gizmoplex, an upcoming streaming service for checking out MST3K stuff with a little RiffTrax material thrown in for good measure. While some episodes will feature Jonah Heston (Jonah Ray) with his versions of Crow and Tom Servo (Hampton Yount and Baron Vaughn), other episodes will feature the live tour’s Emily Connor (Emily Marsh) and her versions of Crow and Tom Servo (Nate Begle and Conor McGiffin).

What Movies Will be on MST3K Season 13?

Throughout Turkey Day 2021, short 30-second trailers were scattered, revealing all thirteen movies.

Experiment 1301: Santo in the Treasure of Dracula (1969)

MST3K has been sadly light on luchador superhero movies. We hadn’t seen any of these babies since TV’s Frank left back in the sixth season with Samson and the Vampire Women. Much like that classic, this stars legendary Mexican wrestler El Santo as himself, albeit a more fantastic version. Like in the sense that he had built a time machine that allows people to experience past lives. The woman who he uses for this experiment is the reincarnation of one of Dracula’s victims and this leads to the luchador and the King of Vampires throwing down.

Experiment 1302: Robot Wars (1993)

Advertised as a thematic sequel to Robot Jox, Robot Wars brings a similar style of post-apocalyptic robot-fighting action. This Full Moon Entertainment release features giant robots battling it out with stop motion that somehow makes it look incredibly rad and incredibly cheesy at the same time. At least it looks better than whatever was going on in Atlantic Rim.

Experiment 1303: Beyond Atlantis (1973)

In what was supposed to be a pure exploitation film until the studio decided to make it more family-friendly in hopes of a wider audience (ie. have the women wear tops), Beyond Atlantis has a pretty simple setup. A group of adventurers, including one played by Sid Haig, are out to rob an island of some hidden treasure. They bite off more than they can chew once they discover that the natives are half-fish! And not in the usual mermaid way, but in the sense that they all have weird piranha eyes. It’s creepy.

Experiment 1304: Munchie (1992)

Munchie is actually the second part of a trilogy, sandwiched in-between Munchies and Munchie Strikes Back. Born out of the attempts to capitalize on the success of Gremlins, we somehow end up with this terrible family comedy starring a greaser rodent puppet with the voice of Dom DeLuise. Munchie tries to use his magic powers to help a loser kid get revenge on his bullies and catch the attention of a very young Jennifer Love Hewitt in her film debut.

Months back, I interviewed Joel Hodgson and he mentioned how season 13 will feature the “new Manos.” I have to imagine he’s talking about Munchie. Word from those who wrote the episode is that it nearly broke them.

Experiment 1305: Doctor Mordrid (1992)

We have another Full Moon release and this one is sort of awesome on its own. Granted, the MST3K treatment is welcome, but you can totally watch this on your own and enjoy it. As the story goes, Full Moon was going to make a Doctor Strange movie, but due to some complications, they lost the license. Hence, B-movie royalty Jeffrey Combs plays Dr. Anton Mordrid, the ORIGINAL CHARACTER DO NOT STEAL of the Mystic Arts.

Experiment 1306: Demon Squad (2019)

Once again, the record for most recent movie on an episode of MST3K is broken. Demon Squad is about a “paranormal investigator” who is trying to solve a crime while dealing with all sorts of otherworldly folk. It sort of comes off as an inexperienced filmmaker’s attempt to make a noir mystery with the cast of Nightbreed and a ten dollar budget. It looks rough, but seems to have some heart in its attempt.

Experiment 1307: Gamera vs. Jiger (1970)

Back in the Joel era, MST3K cut through the original Gamera movies like a knife through butter. A couple of the movies never got the treatment, so here we are. As Japan puts together Expo ’70, they accidentally unleash a new kaiju threat in Jiger. Gamera not only gets his ass kicked by the beast, but he’s also infected by Jiger’s offspring. The only thing that can save the world now is the children and their love for Gamera. That’s usually how these things work.

Movies

MST3K: A Guide to the Giant Monster Movies of Mystery Science Theater 3000

By Gavin Jasper

Movies

MST3K Turkey Day: The Long History of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Thanksgiving

By Gavin Jasper

Experiment 1308: The Batwoman (1968)

What happens when you take an El Santo movie and replace him with a woman who just bought a Sexy Adam West Halloween costume at Party City? This very, very unauthorized mess from Italy. The Batwoman (no, not that one) is a scantily-clad professional wrestler who lives the high life and has to stop a mad scientist and his ridiculous lobster monster from taking over the world. Said mad scientist owns a boat called “Reptilicus,” so I’m looking forward to the callback jokes there.

Experiment 1309: The Million Eyes of Sumuru (1967)

Ah, so this is interesting. The Million Eyes of Sumuru has not only been featured on RiffTrax (along with its sequel The Girl From Rio), but it was also part of the KTMA-TV “season 0” of MST3K. The movie deals with Sumuru, a terrorist leader of a sect of ass-kicking supermodel assassins. Their plan is to have women conquer the world, a plot that can only be stopped by one Frankie Avalon. I can’t believe it took them thirty years before revisiting this gem.

Experiment 1310: HG Wells’ The Shape of Things to Come (1979)

Despite its title, this movie has very, very, VERY little to do with the book of the same name. Instead, it’s Jack Palance starring in a movie trying to capitalize on the success of Star Wars, only succeeding in giving us a sci-fi mess. There is some effort mixed in there, but the whole thing is just a dreadful attempt to ape a popular brand. At least the robots are sort of cool, if clunky.

Experiment 1311: The Mask 3D (1961)

No, it’s not about the wacky green vigilante or the ugly redhead. Instead, The Mask 3D is about a psychiatrist who tries on a mystical tribal mask and trips out on it. He becomes addicted to wearing it and his surreal visions, even though it turns him into a violent psychopath. Huh, maybe it’s not too far from the comic character after all. Anyway, this will be the first Halloween-based episode of MST3K and the only black-and-white entry for this season.

Experiment 1312: The Bubble (1966)

Feeling like a full-length Twilight Zone episode, a married couple’s vacation goes awry when they end up in a village full of people acting strangely. Soon they realize that not only is there a glass dome around the village, but aliens appear to have taken over. Yeah, that twist is a lot more obvious in the retitled version called Fantastic Invasion of Planet Earth. Though that version of the movie is nearly two hours long, so maybe it’s better that we just get The Bubble instead.

Experiment 1313: The Christmas Dragon (2014)

Father Christmas is dying because something something magic and the only ones who can save him and save Christmas itself are a ragtag team of medieval orphans and their newly-discovered pet dragon. Like many pieces of modern crap you’d see riffed, this movie uses a LOT of digital effects, high quality masks, and an excessive amount of scenes shot in the forest. Apparently, this episode will feature Jonah, Emily, AND Joel riffing together.

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MST3K Season 13 Release Date

As revealed at the very end of the 12 hour+ Turkey Day marathon, MST3K’s thirteenth season will begin on March 4, 2022. Considering the last episode announced is a Christmas-themed one, it’s likely that all thirteen episodes will pop up over the course of 2022, but Joel has let it be known that they aren’t doing one big binge-ready dump. The episodes will arrive when they’re ready.

In addition to the thirteen episodes, there will also be monthly live events on Gizmoplex. No real details on what those will entail. We’ll also get twelve shorts! Man, I missed those.

Check out some quick trailers for each movie as well as information on Gizmoplex here.

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