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#my body is literally a mess
hi-its-meg · 2 years
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Fingers are super crossed that my doctors appointment goes well this week 🤞🏻
Really hoping for an Ozempic/Wegovy prescription (whichever my insurance will approve) and to upgrade to a Freestyle Libre 3 prescription 🤞🏻
I’m truly just so defeated with my health & my body at this point.
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shepscapades · 2 months
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Your highness… I don’t feel so good
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opikiquu · 3 months
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my life a movie (PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR)
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"77.kra" just hits different
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whirlybirbs · 24 days
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me, after a full day spent in the mountains: why can i not be moss on a log being misted by fallen rain
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oneluckydragon · 2 months
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"What do you remember of being human, Echo?" The question is out of the blue and unexpected. But Sora offers a patient smile and tilts her head in curiosity, just enough that one of her ears flops over. It's endearing, if anything.
But Echo wishes she hadn't asked.
"Not much. Distinct memories are cloudy." A tired tone says softly, a pained recollection in her eyes and an acrid haze in her soul that endures, endures, and endures, "But I remember the discomfort more than anything. My body always did feel wrong back then. Misshapen. Condensed. Like it was too small for everything buried underneath, and that ache went so deeply some days that it would make my skin crawl. I hated that part the most."
At that, Sora's expression falls. She looks inexplicably sad, as if she'd hoped for a different response, a gentler one despite knowing the harsh truth about the dark future and the struggles Echo must have suffered. "But you had Grovyle, right? I'm sure he took care of you."
"He did, Sora, of course he did." A sigh, a flick of an ear and claws clenched tightly into the churned earth pressed under her paws. "I doubt I deserved his attention, though. I was too busy being angry at the world to give any care back."
In my lore, Echo does not look fully human during their time in the dark future. Since they were Darkrai before becoming human, and as a result of Palkia's reckless shattering of the Dimensional Portal which distorted both time and space, Echo's transformation was broken and accidental. They ended up looking pretty messed up and definitely (not) human. A lot of their characteristics as Darkrai carried over but rather morphed into something else.
And Grovyle, growing up in a world where humans have been extinct for longer than any living pokémon has been alive, has no concept of what a "true" human looks like. The only thing he knows is descriptions of humans from glyphs and texts in old ruins. Thus, he mistakes Echo for an actual human. And Echo, not knowing what a human looks like themselves due to amnesia, accepts this identification with nothing better to use.
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teakoodrawz · 4 months
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" I'm a Psycho, loving it~ "
#[album]#ask to tag#cw#Music Shot#S-2#also i just wanna mess with its expressions and poses cuz it's fun#he can turn the black face into a screenface. changing any shapes and expressions as it pleases#horror. realistic eyes. tv static. etc but he prefers the original triangle smiles more#also i'm planning to redesign S-2 right now#S-2 focuses only on killing / violence to gain LV and he's stuck that way and called it a purpose to wipe out population#He got so focus on gaining LV because it made him feel so powerful and wanted more feeling like it's the only thing that made him feel aliv#i'm okay to spoil his story and all. He's made out of human determination in Mark's body and became a split personality to him#that's why S-2 and Mark are both corrupted because they're still not compatible to each other in one body#instead of being unstable in physical form. his mind is. because Gaster used a different formula but failed again#Gaster was trying to cure Mark because he was really ill and about to die#I only took the references/theories from the original undertale amalgamation obviously#S-2 was formed from Mark's own negative emotions and personalities then it became its own character#which causes the two (or Mark or S-2 themselves) to self-loathe with each other#it's literally like looking in a window as a mirror talking shit to each other#The real good Mark in this au is Mark himself. he just needs to be set free from this misery (and need to get rid of S-2 if possible)#that's why in my old Mark death posts. S-2 was gone from self-forgiveness meaning Mark forgives himself and deserves to be happy#(because everyone don't deserve to hate themselves)#i'm gonna keep the left eye joke not being available when doing the horror screenface cuz still wanna make it a Mark thing to him#cw horror#cw eye contact
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cream-and-tea · 6 months
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LAY ME DOWN. chapter seven excerpt. unedited. featuring: agnes’s attempt to understand a new and troubling situation through understanding a new and troubling person. light body horror. self-harm adjacent behaviour. general freaky magic stuff.
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[transcript under the cut]
oh brother. these guys again.
TAGLIST (ask to be +/-). @vellichor-virgo @transmasc-wizard​ @houndmouthed @muddshadow @just-wublrful @corkywantstowrite @shrunkupthejams @andromedaexists @caninemotiff @lungs-and-gills @lychniscitrus @phantomnations @onomatopiya @deer-in-headlights-stare @arctic-oceans @redbloodprose @definitelynotclayface @cannivalisms @atthenian
“Show me then,” the words are out of her mouth before she has time to think. Animal instinct. Too distracted to remember to bite her tongue.
Pallas blinks at her once, slowly. “What?”
She can walk it back, that would be safest, the nothing already crouched expectantly in the back of her throat. Instead she uncrosses her legs and swings them over the edge of the bed to better face them. Having feet on the ground makes her feel more solid, more certain.
“I want you to show me. Vita. I want to see it.”
Pallas raises an eyebrow. “Show you?”
She scoots forward slightly and nods, made a bit braver by the fact that they don’t seem to be angry or condescending, just confused. Probably really confused because Agnes is awful at telling what people feel by their faces and even she can see it clear as day.
“You’ve already seen it,” Pallas says, setting down the pen and shrugging back into their jacket. “You know what it does.”
And that’s true isn’t it? In the Haithwood and in the library. Pallas winding every bit of her body around their fingers and holding her frozen to the ground, Pallas making Calliopes nose break and bleed in a burst of icy rage, Judge reaching under her skin to pull her injured flesh back into shape. Vita. Blood and flesh and living bone. Honestly she’s seen enough for a lifetime. There’s still that sick feeling in her gut whenever she thinks about any of it.
So maybe it has less to do with the magic and more to do with Pallas, who’s spent every hour of every day since she got here pushing her to reach for the dead in a way she never has before. Pallas has had everything to do with her ghosts and her gravespeaking but every time they’ve used their power she’s had absolutely nothing to do with it, a bystander at best and a victim at worst. It's not that she’s upset, or ungrateful, just that she wants to see them the same way they’ve seen her. That isn’t so much to ask? Right?
“Yeah.” Agnes moves to rest her chin in her hands. “But I haven’t seen you use it when you’re not…”
Scaring me? Attacking people?
“...y’know,” she finishes lamely.
Pallas has gone still in the chair and she can’t help but feel the same hot embarrassment as before at the expression on their face, nakedly baffled in a way that feels too intimate for her to be seeing. It’s like something about what she’s asking has managed to fully shock the danger out of them, leaving just a person who doesn’t understand what’s happening. Agnes hadn’t thought that was even possible to do, and the revelation that it is fills her with a kind of mad, giddy joy. You’re just like me. You don’t know what’s going on right now.
All this time she’s been tiptoeing around Pallas, but now she’s knocked them off balance and hasn’t been reduced to a pile of blood and guts. So there are some things she can do. She is not totally helpless and they are human after all and they are being awkward! Being awkward in front of her!
“I don’t exactly have a broad scope,” Pallas says dryly. “I doubt you’ll like anything I have to share.”
Agnes doubts it as well, but that’s not really the point. And nothing they said just now was no.
“Maybe it’ll be nice. Maybe I’ll think it’s nice.”
Pallas stares at her like a chicken confronted with a bicycle. Then they look away. Then they let out a long, quiet breath and close their eyes before shifting to face her properly, both feet on the ground as well.
“Sit back,” it’s closer to their normal voice but with a faintness to it. Not quite trembling, but definitely not steady either. Agnes straightens up and tilts back onto her palms as Pallas shifts forward. It feels like too long before they open their eyes, which are just as grey and bad as ever.
“I won’t do anything to you,” Pallas says, as if that’s an option they were considering. Agnes can’t help but feel a twist of relief, the memories of that first meeting in the woods are never far from her mind and no matter how much she wants this, any chance to avoid something like that happening again is a welcome one.
“Right.” She nods.
“If you start screaming, or vomit, or pass out, I will cease interacting with you alltogether. That is a promise.”
“I’ll be okay.”
Pallas’s brows furrow with what could be concentration or could be concern. Their mouth opens, floundering for half a second, like they were about to say something else before closing back into a tightly pressed line. They hold their left hand out in front of them, like they’re waiting for a high five, and somehow Agnes knows that, whatever it is, it’s about to start and her anxiety feels like victory in the face of that.
At first it is nothing much, just a thin red line slicing down their middle finger. So straight and clean it could’ve been made with a scalpel. Not even that much blood. Then, simultaneously, the line begins to creep down their palm and out to each of their other fingers, dripping beads of crimson down the clammy pale of their skin. Somehow it doesn’t seem real, like Agnes is looking at a diagram in a book that’s mysteriously been animated in front of her. If Pallas feels any pain at all they don’t show it, face unchanged as the skin starts to peel back from their hand.
That does make Agnes draw in a sharp breath, even though she’s been very good at staying quiet and still up until now, fearful like she was in the classroom with Judge that any sudden action will throw the magic off-balance. But she doesn’t look away, because she asked for this, and Pallas doesn’t pause in their unfurling even if their brows furrow slightly at the sound. It happens in one smooth motion, practiced, effortless, performed with all the ceremony of taking off a glove. Agnes does not start screaming, or vomit, or pass out. She’s dressed animals before and, apart from how Pallas is not dead and the effect is contained to just the one hand, this isn’t really different. There's the careful separation of skin from muscle, the delicate definition that separates the parts underneath, the red and pinkness of it all.
Of course it’s not really the same either, because the parts of Pallas being stripped away are not set aside for later use; instead they stay floating in the air around the hand, held frozen in the same way her body had been back in the forest when they first met. Warm, wet flaps of skin, fresh as the blackgreen bark stripped from trees back home, hover drowsily like something pickled in a jar. It is also not separated, not really, everything still intertwined and beating with red and alive, muscle and artery and nerve working together, just lifted up and away. Agnes never paid her own hands much mind beyond the work they could do and how cold they got in the winter, but now she imagines her skin split apart and away the way Pallas’s is, wonders if all of that really exists inside her too. It feels wrong somehow, what’s in front of her now is just meat. A person should be made up of more than that. There are so many small parts to a hand, parts she cannot name but Pallas probably can or else they would not be able to do any of this. They don’t stop until the muddy white of their fingerbones begin to show, then the entire thing spasms with an uneven spurt of blood, a pulse that Agnes feels in her own chest, and goes totally still.
In the silence she can’t help but lean forward, marvelling at the web of flesh in front of her, and even as her scalp prickles and her stomach turns over and the air around her seems to hum with the urge to run a part of her itches to reach out a finger and touch. That really would just be the same as fiddling around with the guts of an animal, but also it would be different. Somehow she knows it would be different. Different in a way she’ll never be able to understand unless she does it. Which she won’t. Because Pallas is terrifying and this has only proved that a hundred times over.
Though maybe not as terrifying as she thought before. They did listen to her, or humour her, or whatever this is. It’s something for sure. Agnes can always make do with something. It’s how she stays alive.
Her breath ghosts across the bloody strand of a muscle, and that is what breaks the spell, that or Pallas is just done or some other condition she doesn’t know has been met. The coming back together seems to take a good deal longer than the taking apart, sweat glueing dark strands of hair to Pallas’s cheeks and the grinding of their teeth made audible despite the damp, slithering sounds of their hand seaming itself back together until the only trace of what just happened is a rusty crusting of blood packed around their nails and in their palm lines.
They pull the hand away while Agnes can’t help but keep watching, transfixed as they flex it in and out of a fist with a disinterested glare, impatient while a few stray cracks and pops fill the newfound silence. Once that’s done they hold it out one more time, as if proving to Agnes just how inconsequential vivisecting a part of them in front of her really was.
“There. Happy?” Pallas slumps slightly, tipping their head back enough that she can see their pulse fluttering frantically just beneath the skin of their neck. Again she resists the urge to touch it. She likes all of her flesh right where it is. Thank you very much.
Palla shifts to look at her and Agnes remembers that she’s been staring, not answering them, and internally kicks herself for being such an idiot.
“I am,” She breathes out, makes the monumental effort to meet their eyes. “I actually really am.”
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possamble · 3 months
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Do you have any plan to make some kind of bonus chapter or oneshot about marcille's perspective in little creature? It's not like I'm asking you for it ofc!! it's just that i think it'll be interesting to read, and especially since you had those tags about marcille after her fight/outburst with falin and how you couldn't add it to the fic because the fic is from falin's perspective
Probably not about anything that happens during a little creature, but maybe something before or after? Sometimes I do like to do "the other character thinking back to events while doing stuff in a sequel" oneshot type thing, but we'll see how it shakes out!
#asks#a little creature#i will say#Marcille was firmly in denial and just Not Thinking About Her Feelings#the dinner scene was the first crack in her self delusion but it was still there#then the last chapter was it finally shattering as she saw Falin kissing someone else and experienced Elf Shrimp Emotions#just insane intensity furor and jealousy#she was about to fucking blow up#and then the confrontation happens and shes literally in shambles#cant think everything hurts#just barely scraping enough braincells to thank kiki inbetween enormous hiccups and sobs that shake her entire body#sees laios. slaps him. collapses into his arms sobbing and apologizing again#he cant actually understand what shes saying through the blubbering but hes doing his best to comfort her#to be perfectly honest im not 100% she even has the space to process 'i have feelings for falin' in full clarity#the 'why did seeing her kissing someone else make me feel like i wanted to die or kill someone' doesnt like... click#not until she gets over the mess of 'how could she say that to me didnt i do enough'#'didnt i love her enough does she care so little for me that she cant even bother to think about how i feel'#'does she care so little for me that she doesnt know that i would die for her i HAVE died for her and killed for her'#'how could she not know that she was nothing less than my whole reason for living for so long'#... i guess thats what shes blubbering at laios but it just comes out as like#'howcouldnbwhebwsbebwbendoesbdhemotbbwkowbblblbllvlbl'#snotting into laios's shirt#its ok. she'll be ok. like laios has to carry her back to her room because she latched on and didn't let go until she literally like#cried herself to exhaustion and passed out.#but she'll be okay. after maybe another day of moping she finally has her White Woman Moment of looking at herself in the mirror#and admitting that she's in love with falin and has been for a while
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rouge-the-bat · 9 months
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im fucking laughing. for christmas they just doused my wife in glitter
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tennis-kittens · 2 years
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Rafa having Casper sit next to him for emotional support because he knew that whatever would come out of Roger's mouth would wreck him 😭🤧💔
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jaynovz · 2 years
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Luke Arnold did not put his entire psyche and pussy into John Silver to the detriment of his own health for yall to say Silver is a mastermind liar and not a fucking repressed bisexual MESS
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moeblob · 10 months
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sorry for ocs two days in a row have some babies from an adult's life time ago (aka 2005 I believe? is when I made them?)
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ratsketches · 2 years
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Literally haven’t stopped thinking about that scene where Belos possesses an unfinished Grimwalker
The visuals man, they really kick you in the gut ;; just hope the grimwalker wasn’t conscious for it 
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asmodeusamaryllis · 3 months
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Man idk the argument about hvy being a Chinese company and so they're restricted on having characters with dark skin tones when dislyte is ALSO a Chinese company and they typically are really good at representing the culture they take from for their characters makes it somewhat mute
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skunkes · 10 months
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ANYWAY i am looking thru my vbros art book right now because i love the style and need to look for inspiration for drawing and what im fully realizing is theres a weird disconnect in my brain when drawing full bodies. Like.
Im looking at a full body character drawing in the book. Right. And i see its a Human. And it looks very Normal and Good and Nicely Drawn and Stylized. I want to be able to do this. I tell my brain "ok, now imagine YOU drew this" and immediately my brain is like. Body WAY too long. Legs too long. Head small. i would resize and overwork every single one of these details until it looked horrible if i drew this.
And its literally not True of the drawing, its just how bodies are. This will happen with any drawing of any full body by any artist i enjoy. So its an issue with Me for sure. Idk why my brain is like dis or how to overcome it LOL
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