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volkswagonblues · 4 years

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a lil guide to the Fire Nation for the ATLA fic writers out there

(aka. a no means exhaustive primer on east asia by an asian person)

This is a guide for fic writers want to write a canon-era story set in the Fire Nation, or featuring Fire Nation characters. A quick little primer on the tiny details of everyday life that you might not think about, but certainly stuff that would make me, an asian person, wince if I were to encounter it. BRUSHES, not quills. CHOPSTICKS, not forks.

(note #1: this was partly inspired by a chat with @elilim)

(note: #2: I originally intended it for zukka fic writers before realizing that other writers might find it useful. so apologies for a slight Zuko-bias for that reason)

(note #3: this is all stuff i was thinking about when writing firebender’s guide, in case anyone was wondering)

1. CLOTHING

Okay, I think the most straightforward way to describe what everyone’s wearing most of the time is “tunic”. They’re all just...tunics of different colours and varieties. Later when Zuko’s the Fire Lord he wears robes. The show provides a better visual guide than I could, here are a few notes to keep in mind:

a) Japanese people wear their collars LEFT crossed over RIGHT

I don’t think this would come up in writing as much as it would in art, but it’s considered bad luck to do it the wrong way because that’s only for dead people. Let my boy Zuko demonstrate:

b) There are no buttons

This is picky, but Wikipedia says “Functional buttons with buttonholes for fastening or closing clothes appeared first in Germany in the 13th century.[6] They soon became widespread with the rise of snug-fitting garments in 13th- and 14th-century Europe.” I kinda believe it. If you look closely, characters’ clothes are always tied together or wrapped in some way with a belt. If there are fasteners, they’re braided frog closures that go into a little loop, like the qipao-style dresses women wear in Ba Sing Se, or Zuko’s casual prince’s clothes in the topmost image. Anyways, I don’t think Zuko or Azula or the Gaang would technically button or unbutton anything when they’re changing clothes. Clothing is designed to be tied, not buttoned.

[so much more under cut]

c) This isn’t a real rule, but there’s something called koromogae, or the seasonal changing of clothing in Japan.

This is something I learned when I was writing firebender’s guide, and I just liked the fun detail about there being a strict calendar for when to wear something. I liked the idea of someone like Zuko, who actually spent most of his formative years outside of the Fire Nation, coming home and just suffering mutely through the summer heat because upper class etiquette says no changing into cooler clothes until August 15.

From My Asakusa:

And this website:

Generally, people change from thick, heavy, dark-coloured clothes for winter to thin, lighter, bright-coloured clothes for spring and summer. In traditional Japanese culture, particularly in formal settings such as tea ceremony, it is important to acknowledge the changes of seasons—in such circumstances, not only the patterns and colours of the kimono that are worn but also the utensils and furniture that are used are required to change. By changing their clothing, people notice and appreciate the change of seasons. [Japan Foundation]

Here are some visual guides from the official creators for clothes: (notice how it’s pretty much always left over right)

2.FOOD AND EATING

a) Traditional cuisine

It seems like the most common foods in canon are Fire Flakes and meat, to the point where poor Aang had to eat lettuce out of the garbage at some point.

HOWEVER, the Fire Nation seems to basically a big subtropical archipelago, so I would guess that seafood and rice are common. If you want to write about characters eating, a. quick google for “traditional japanese cuisine” would help you come up with a menu really quickly.

Wikipedia says:

The traditional cuisine of Japan, washoku (和食), lit. "Japanese eating" (or kappō (ja:割烹)), is based on rice with miso soup and other dishes; there is an emphasis on seasonal ingredients. Side dishes often consist of fish, pickled vegetables, and vegetables cooked in broth. Seafood is common, often grilled, but also served raw as sashimi or in sushi.

But before we get too serious, at one point the Gaang eats a “smoked sea slug” (Sokka’s Master)

Oh ATLA, never stop being you.

b) Utensils

One thing to keep in mind is chopstick etiquette. Someone like Zuko or Toph, for instance, would have completely internalized all of these.

Another thing is that there are no glasses. Cups and bowls are made of ceramic or clay. Let the Gaang show you:

And another note: characters won’t eat “bread” in the European sense, ie. a baked lump of dough. Steamed buns, yes. Fried pancakes made from batter, yes. Flatbreads, okay I’ll give it a pass. Rice or noodles should be the most common carbs of choice.

3.ETIQUETTE

“In the homeland, we bow to our elders” - angry schoolmistress in The Headband.

Japan Guide has a list of etiquette rules for visiting Japan, which is interesting but not too necessary to read. In general, based on what The Headband tells us, Fire Nation characters would have been raised with a strong nationalist curriculum that values communal contribution over individualist expression. Even someone like Zuko, who openly rebels against that, probably couldn’t help but be affected by it. In general the Fire Nation seems to have an East Asian-ish set of values. It’s patriarchal, all the positions of authority are filled by men; there seems to be a strong emphasis on patriotism; there’s a sense of diffidence and respect towards one’s elders; and finally, there’s an emphasis on “knowing” one’s place in society and fitting into what’s expected of oneself.

I don’t really know how to describe it, but in China and Japan I sometimes feel like there’s rules for everything, and even people born and raised there acknowledge it could be stifling at times. You could go down a rabbit hole researching points of etiquette (for instance, rules on who has to sit where in group dinners...), but to me the most important thing is acknowledging that Fire Nation has a rigid system of etiquette, and also, they’re an imperialist power who’s pretty prejudiced against foreigners. Poor Aang/Kuzon gets called “mannerless colony slob” just for being slow on the bowing action (!!!)

(in firebender’s guide I had a lot of fun imagining the stupid microaggressions Ambassador Sokka has to face in the Fire Nation, so obviously I’m just biased)

4.WRITING AND DESKS

Characters would probably write on paper, with a calligraphy brush. Not quills or pens -- a brush. Technically, old Japanese and Chinese texts should be written top to bottom, right to left, but the show itself doesn’t do this, so I think you’re fine.

One fun thing about traditional calligraphy is that you don’t use bottled ink. You have something called an ink stone, and then you grind your ink yourself by rubbing the ink stone in a special little dish with a bit of water. In my (very few) encounters with this stuff in the calligraphy lessons of my youth, the ink stones can be plain or have beautiful designs on the side. It looks something like this:

ATLA is an East Asian-ish universe, so characters are likely to be kneeling at a table, not sitting. To demonstrate, here’s my boy Sokka doing his famous rainbow at Piandao’s:

and here’s the war chamber meeting when Zuko speaks out against a general’s plans to sacrifice some soldiers:

THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS: This is Zuko’s cute little setup when he’s writing his goodbye letter to Mai. In this case he’s writing in a chair and table. It’s possible that some furniture items, like a sitting desk and a bed in a bedframe (not a bedroll or futon) are special royal palace features. Normally in a private setting we see characters sitting on the ground or on a slightly elevated platform with a low table. Maybe Caldera is just different? Or rich people are just different: the Bei Fongs also have a sit-down dining table + chair setup.

(That little rectangular box is his ink dish!!)

5.A NOTE ON GENERAL CULTURE

It’s worth talking about a few general points of East Asian culture. I can’t claim to speak for ALL of Asia, and I don’t think I should. But I do think ATLA fic writers who want to set something in the Fire Nation should take a few moments to at least skim the wiki pages for filial piety and Nihonjinron (literally, "theories/discussions about the Japanese"). There’s a certain...vibe to...asianness... that I’m not sure I can explain without like, a doctorate degree in sociology.

It’s a bit like gender, I guess. There’s no definitive checklist to what is a woman and what is a man, and we can argue that gender is performative, that it’s a construct, but at the end of the day gender is still (tragically) real in the sense that it still shapes people and affects how we walk and talk and dress and think. Nationality is the same. Obviously, the Fire Nation is a made up place in a made up show, but out of respect to the cultures that inspired it, I do think it’s worth familiarizing yourself with some of these cultures’ codes and values.

Also, ahem, if I can direct you to war crimes in the Japan’s colonial empire. Again, worth remembering that the Fire Nation was an imperalist colonizer too.

I might do a continuation of this post and talk through my more abstract takes about Fire Nation culture - Is Zuko an example of filial piety gone right or filial piety gone wrong? Why I think Zuko’s flashbacks are like, at least part teenage melodrama bullshit (the reason is son preference), how someone like Sokka might be treated once he’s openly Water Tribe in the Fire Nation (probably with racism...), specific aspects of asian homophobia and racism, etc. We’ll see.

This is not a definitive guide. Comments and critique welcome.

If you think there’s a factual mistake, PLEASE hop in my asks and let me know. I also think there’s a huge blind spot in ATLA for South and Southeast Asian representation, so I acknowledge that I can’t speak for all Asians, and there is no such thing as a “pan-asian” identity.

If there’s something else you’re curious about, I’m not a historian or anything, but I like research. Ask me and I’ll try to answer the best I can.

And oh, one last thing, this is how I do research when I wrote firebender’s guide, in case anyone’s interested in learning more (LINK)

#Avatar The Last Airbender #zukka #atla fic #my fic #fire nation

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missinghan · 4 years

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falling for the first time ⤖ bang chan

❖ genre : hogwarts au; fluff

❖ word count : 2,1k.

❖ warning : explicit language

❖ summary : your plan of putting all effort into avoiding bang chan as much as possible has been going smoothly for almost seven years until he asks you for a dance at the Yule Ball. or alternatively, your families hate each other but wait...has he always had those golden flecks in his eyes?

❖ author’s note : here’s the song they’re dancing to 🖤

one.

The once cold ballroom has waited for eons it seems, for a real heart to beat a new rhythm into the matter that made it.

Meanwhile, you too have been waiting (for two-ish hours) in the corner with your cup of root beer abandoned at a table for your dance partner. You’re currently half-clutching your dress and half-panicking because Chan wouldn’t miss an event as extravagant as the Yule Ball. He’s not the type to be sour over little things either just because he didn’t win the Triwizard Tournament. Or perhaps someone else just happened to ask him?

A blood-curdling shriek bursts your eardrums.

Jeongin gives you a nudge with his elbow from behind. “Grilled scream-cheese?” he asks with a mouthful of gluten and carbs, a plate of a sandwich with a (literally) screaming slice of cheese slapped in the middle.

“No, my appetite is ruined,” you say, pushing it away slightly and heaving an audible sigh.

The Ravenclaw boy makes an alarming noise—something similar to ‘uh-oh’ and swallows the big bite from before as fast as he can. “Where’s Chan?”

You only shrug, “Don’t know. Don’t care.” If only you could do that with the train of thoughts that have been going in and out of your ears for the past a hundred and twenty minutes.

“Y/N, you look troubled,” he purses his lips, frowning at you.

“I’m not,” you voice in denial, trying your best not to come off as snappy. No, you will not give up your facade that easily. You won’t leave Chan’s ego nor Jeongin to rest without a fight by saying that you actually want to dance with the heathen!

“Yeah right, let me-“

“Don’t. What if he’s already asked someone else?” You momentarily shudder at how sad you sound. The root beer shouldn’t have hit you this hard. “I mean look at him, he’s Bang Chan. I’m pretty sure those girls from Beauxbatons have been eyeing him up and down since the Tournament.”

Jeongin lets out a huff of laughter in disbelief. “Are you even hearing yourself right now?”

“One of you guys could have asked me. Or I should have paid Jisung to be my partner yesterday. I just, I don’t know, what am I saying? I’m confused.”

Your friend is officially done with your bullshit so he decides for himself that he will now set down his food to make your first and last Yule Ball arguably unforgettable. “Honestly? I can lie and say I would dance with you if you weren’t so full of pride. But truth is, none of us asked you to dance because we all know how badly Chan wants this opportunity. Wake the fuck up! He’s been planning this since forever. I’ll go look for him, wait here,” he points a finger at you before running off, leaving your heartbeat pause awkwardly like a broken record.

The ballroom feels significantly colder now.

“Miss Y/N?”

Ah, perfect timing. What’s another way to phrase ‘being an absolute idiot at a ball’? Oh right, it’s ‘talking to your professor five minutes before the first dance while your friends are socializing left and right’.

“Yes, Headmistress McGonagall?”

Your professor peers around when she realizes that you’re all alone. “Are you and Mister Bang ready?”

“R-ready?” Suddenly, you feel out of place.

“Well, of course. It’s only traditional that the three champions start the first dance!”

“Oh.”

two.

Only the celestial bodies above can know how melancholy you are. But you’re met with a sky without stars tonight.

With your head on your elbows, lips pressed into a straight line, your gaze falls from the endless canvas of darkness to the hustle and bustle of students leaving the Great Hall to head back to their designated dormitories. A sigh. You definitely don’t need to know what they’re going to do for the after-party. Ryujin used to show you an article on this peculiar machine called ‘a laptop’ that the more you sigh, the faster you age. If Chan keeps doing shit like this to you, you’re gonna be all old and wrinkly by the time he comes here.

If he is going to show up at all that is.

The moment you peel your eyes away from the overcrowded main gate, a broad figure is shuffling himself through his drunk Quidditch teammates, sloppy couples, and burnt out professors. He dashes through the empty hallways to reach the spiral staircase, skipping three steps at a time, risking the chances of falling on his face just to get to you.

Pulling himself to a halt at the last step, Chan sees you all curled up against the balcony railings and feels a pang of guilt wash over his innards like a wave. You’re pulling your legs toward your chest, defeated eyes gazing into the space ahead while your hair falls to your face messily. Like you’ve gone through the depths of the Fourth Dimension, struggling through dark matters and a rite of divinity at the end of the line. All for him.

You’re beautiful.

And the amount of affection that’s piling upon his rib cage? Astronomical.

Your gaze is averted away; even with a slight scowl, sloppy clothes and messed up hair, you still flare radiance. He thinks that if a meteor shower is happening right now, you can still outshine it. “You came,” you mention.

For once, Chan finds himself at a loss for words. “Y-Yeah,” he manages to swallow. Yeah? What the fuck, Chan? Is that all you’ve got to say?

“I-I’m sorry, Y/N. Yeji accidentally mistook one of Minho’s potions for her allergy medicine so I gotta take care of that before coming,” he scratches his forearm awkwardly, head hung low with guilt. “I didn’t know it would take that long…”

“Oh.” Wow, jealous stinks. This isn’t pre-school, you’d better snap out of it. “Let’s head back. I wanna check on her before passing out.”

“She’s fine now, sleeps like death. Chaeryeong is there too, you know, just in case.” Chan feels perplexed as he tries to coax anything but the ‘head back’ option from you.

You tilt your head. “And...?”

“I’m afraid you owe me something?” A slow smile begins to outstretch upon his facial muscles, deepening the dimples on either side of his cheeks that you adore the most. “A dance, I believe,” he makes a thinking face while striding toward you.

Coldly, you stand up to dust your dress. “I don’t want to.” You’re not having it, he can tell. But does Bang Chan ever give up?

“A bet is a bet, Y/N.”

Chan’s hand fishes inside the pocket of his trench coat to take out his wand. His hand delicately gives it a swift flick; once, and twice followed by a low mumble from his lips. Immediately, light pulses from the tip of the wand before shooting upward, disintegrating into a million bits as though a starry night is embracing the both of you. He does the same action again to cast a different spell. Music laces through every fiber of air without effort, like honey being poured into your ears.

“It’s just one bet,” he pouts with a hand fully extended toward you.

You should have realized how good Chan looks tonight. A black dress shirt that’s buttoned below appropriate, matching trench coat, silver accessories lining his fingers and ears with naturally tousled hair from running here. He looks so gorgeous that it almost suffocates you, that it almost makes you want to hiss ‘fucking unfair’ out loud.

Enchanted by his poise and grace, your body reacts without the consent of your mind. You seize up when you unknowingly place your hand on top of his, the touch sending electricity down your spine. A simple response has become all too complicated for your brain to process.

You grow breathless the moment he grabs you by the waist and pulls you flush against him. “Yeah, a bet so you’ll leave me alone,” you remark sarcastically to ease your nerves.

“Look, it’s not my fault that the Goblet of Fire chose me to participate in the Tournament,” Chan chuckles lowly, eyes crinkling into crescent moon shapes while he sways you to the soft melody. Dots of light continue to float around weightlessly, reflecting the golden flecks in his eyes. He’s ethereal in the worst way—the way that isn’t healthy for your heart.

But you soon slap on another scowl when you realize he just reminded you of why you’re even here in the first place. If only you weren’t so salty about Slytherin winning your team over at the final Quidditch match before the holiday occurs. Let’s just say you weren’t exactly in the best mind state after getting your ass kicked in your favorite sport.

And Chan wasted no time to slip in between the line of comical humor and your ultimate torment. Which results in—if you get to attend the Triwizard Tournament, he will leave you alone for the rest of your life; but if he is the chosen one, he gets a dance with you at the Yule Ball.

It’s really not all that bad if you think twice about it. Dancing with Bang Chan, the Slytherin’s Quidditch team captain, the student with perfect academics and conduct for six years straight, and now one of the Triwizard Tournament champions this year.

Music threads through the atmosphere and lifts away gravity. You can’t count how many times you have stepped on his toes due to nervousness because you’re too much of a coward to look him in the eye. But he’s the only thing you can seem to focus on right now.

“Besides, don’t you think this is a good opportunity to get rid of the tension between us?” Chan asks honestly, and this causes you to perk up.

“What?”

Lights are twinkling with every step as Chan spins you around gently, your dress billowing out prettily as your heels click against the cold concrete. After that, he swiftly pulls you back into his arms and you exhale in relief like you were meant to be there all this time.

“Don’t act dumb, you’re terrible at it. I know the only reason why you’ve been avoiding me since first year was because of our families’ stupid grudge. ”

Your eyes are cast downward, sadness glinting in your round pupils. “Either way, my parents wouldn’t like to see me talking to you. And look at what we’re doing. It’s going to be catastrophic if they find out.”

“Well, they can’t just magically appear now, can they?” Chan leans a little closer to lock his eyes with yours.

And you break it seconds later because you’re an absolute coward for a Gryffindor. “We’re attending a magic school. Anything is possible.”

“Did they even tell you what the actual problem was in the first place?” he huffs out in faint annoyance.

You shake your head. “I don’t think they’d even remember.”

“Then would you stop giving me that look as if I just shooed your owl way every time I said ‘hi’ on my way to class? Have you ever thought about my feelings? About us being civil for once? Like friends? Or even more so?”

“I-“

“We’re not our parents, Y/N.”

Your heart becomes all erratic at his words. It’s nothing like those fully-fledged, tear-jerking nor cheesyass confessions that you’ve gawked at one too many times, but it makes your heart flutter and stirs up those cliché butterflies inside your stomach. This can’t be compared to the Yule Ball—it’s even better than that. Because it feels as though you and Chan are the only presences that graze the surface of this land. There’s no one to judge, no fingers to point, no gossip spreading like wildfire.

It’s perfect. Almost.

“Us...it’s not- it can’t happen. It’s not supposed to happen. It’s not possible, Chan.”

Wordlessly, he stops, moves both of your hands to his shoulders, and wraps his arms around your torso. The sound of your heartbeat against his is so in sync they just drown out the music completely. Time is frozen in place, leaving you to hang on the edge with him, hanging onto this single moment as thin as the red string of fate. You’re waiting for him to do something, say something.

Just then, Chan cracks a wry smile and pulls you closer by the nape of your neck, resting his forehead comfortably on yours. “We’re attending a magic school. Anything is possible.”

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omg-im-such-a-masochist · 4 years

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THE CHOICE

Prompt: When Finn starts to act weird,Y/N has her suspicions as to why he’s acting like that. But the reason behind his acts might surprise her.

Word count: Long-ish

Pairing: Finn Bálor(Fergal Devitt) x Reader

Warnings: Angst, jealously, smut(implied), fluff

Notes: I love me some jealous/clingy/needy Finn 🥰 Y’all know the drill loves,sorry for misspellings,english isn’t my first language (bla bla bla),check out my other stories if you’d like to(it would make your girl here very happy 😊) and if you’re comfortable with it,please let me know what you think? Some feedback is always welcomed and appreciated ❤️You can check out my other stories typing ‘masochist writes’ on the search bar on my page and my newest story as a fixed post.Okay,now let’s get to the fun part,shall we? Hope you’ll enjoy 😉

I rolled my eyes for the 5th time, as I heard him knocking on my home office door AGAIN, for the 8th time, in a 10 MINUTES break! I swear to God, I’m gonna loose my fucking mind if this keeps happening every 2 minutes!

“Come on in” I slight angrily said

“Hey again love, I know I’m bothering ya,but I really need your help with something!” He sheepishly smiles

“What is it now Finn?”

“I was thinking about ordering some pizza for dinner what do you think? Also I wanted to bake some cake for us, but I don’t know where ya keep the measuring cups”

“You? Pizza?” I ask in disbelief and he just nods with a sweet smile on his face

“And a cake? For us? You don’t even eat sweets!”

“I don’t need sweets, I got ya” he gives me a cheesy smile

“You’re so corny” I laughed “I thought you followed ‘a strict diet that excluded sugar and carbs’ so you could ‘keep your abs in shape for the girls’ “ I said imitating the words he used to say to me,to make me jealous,so I would agree to go out with him on a date.

“Fine, those were poor choice of words from my part, but on my defense I was trying to impress ya”

“Impress me, by making me jealous?”

“Reverse psychology love. I had to make ya think that ya didn’t want me so ya could really want me and accept my dinner invitation” He proudly said

“What? That makes zero sense!”

“But it worked didn’t? Here we are, 4 years later!” He gave me that devilish smirk

“Whatever!” I responded holding my laugh

“My answer is yes for the pizza. And the measuring cups are at the top shelf,where I keep the wine glasses” I turned to my desk so I could continue to work.

“Do ya want to help me?” He asks, with an innocent voice

“Finn, I’m working babe... I have to finish this report ‘til 3 p.m.”

“Oh” he says with an upset voice “Is John coming over to get it?” His voice changed from upset to slightly angry

“Yes, he’s coming over by 2 p.m.” And I regretted those words as soon as they left my mouth.

“Why is he coming by at 2 p.m. if you don’t have to deliver it until 3?” I turned around to face him and oh boy, my Irish man was not happy at all! It took a lot to take Finn out of his smiley happy mood but one thing that it sure did the job perfectly was John, my ex-boyfriend!

The company that I worked for was used to make some freelance contracts with certified translators, and by the irony of fate John was a very high requested certified translator. So it was no surprise to me when I found out that the big boss wanted to sign a contract with him, but what I didn’t saw it coming was that I would be the one designated to work with him. As much as I would like to decline it, I have bills and I need them to be paid, so I suck it up and accept the very bad taste joke fate has put it in my way.

But Finn on the other hand was not having it! He was recovering from an injury, so he was home 24/7 not being able to do what he loves, but now he also has to deal with John coming over,always showing up earlier and leaving way later than he was supposed to, while in the mean time tried to flirt with me...4 times a week!

I wasn’t very fondly of it either but like I said, this is my job! I can’t just say fuck off to the big boss, I need to pay my rent damn it!

To be honest Finn was acting pretty weird ever since John reappeared from the ashes... I expected some sort of jealousy attack or something but he just.. I don’t know.... He wasn’t following his diet(which was very weird considering he took that very seriously even when he was injured)started to act all needy and clingy, like a little boy. He followed me around EVERY WHERE, always needing to be comforted, wanted to be kissed and touched as often as possible and kept interrupting me every 2 minutes to draw my attention from work to him. I’m not gonna lie, I was getting slightly annoyed. I just want to get this damn job done, so I can stop looking at my stupid ex boyfriend’s face 4 days of the week, but Lord give me strength, cause Finn wasn’t helping me,not even one bit!

“Finny...”

“Don’t Finny me and just answer my question please”

“I don’t know why is he coming by at 2, my sunshine” I tried to remain as calm as I could

“Did you asked him to come by earlier?”

I turned to face him with a very annoyed look of disbelief on my face

“Are you seriously asking me this? Oh boy, I just hope that this is one of your bad taste jokes...”

“I am serious! Did you or did you not asked him to come by earlier? It’s a simple question!”

“You know what Fergal? I’ll just pretend I never heard that, because the last person I want to fight or lash out is you” I said as I turned to my desk again.

“Oh great, so you’re choosing him huh?”

“What?” I looked at him in shock

“If you want him back, then fine, go with him!”

“What the actual fuck are you talking about?”

“John! That’s what I’m talking about! I know you want him back! If you want to choose him and be with him go for it! I don’t care!” He screamed and turned away closing the door so forcefully I thought it was gonna break in half.

“Where the hell you think you’re going Fergal?”

He did not just accused me of wanting that asshole back plus started a fight and walked away! Well he should’ve known better, because now I was ferociously angry as I followed him to our bedroom ready to punch someone in the face!

“Fergal, don’t you even dare to lock that do-“

The motherfucker just closed the door in my face! And lock it!

“Finn, open the door!”

“Go away Y/N”

“Fergal don’t be so ridiculous!”

“I don’t wanna talk to ya”

“Finn open the door damn it!”

“It’s 12:30 ya should go and get ready for ya boyfriend”

“YOU are my boyfriend”

“I know ya don’t want me, ya want him, no need to lie! So don’t make this worst for me and just leave please...”

His voice sounded so sincerely hurt that all of my anger washed away

“Finn...baby, what is this all about? Why are you acting like this?”

He didn’t answer

“Finn?”

Still no answer

“C’mon Finny, don’t be so childish,love”

When I was left speaking alone for the third time I went to the bathroom down the hall and grabbed the spear key to the bedroom that I kept it in the drawer of the bathroom cabinet.

I opened the door to find Finn lying on the bed with his back facing the door.

“Finn” I tried to get him to talk, when it didn’t happen I walked to the bed and laid down beside him.

Solid 20 minutes had passed and he still didn’t said a word, so I gave up, got up from the bed and when I was about to go out the door he whispered

“Are you gonna choose him?”

I turned around and made my way back to my original spot.

“Can you at least look at me so I can answer you properly?”

He turned around and I had never seen such a broken look on those beautiful ocean eyes of his

“It’s ok if ya want him back, I understand it...”

“Finny, where did you get all these from baby?”

He shrugged his shoulders

“Finn look at me, I would never EVER in a million years leave you for John baby! What makes you think that?”

“I don’t know...he’s better than me in everything. He’s taller, prettier, more successful, more educated...I mean he match with ya perfectly...”

“Finny why are you saying such bad things about yourself? John’s got nothing on you babe! You’re my sunshine, my everything, the only man that I want, the only man that I need!” I cupped his bearded cheek and suddenly something hit me

“That’s why you were doing those things? The baking, the junk food, the being extra needy and extra clingy?... Is this your way to show me that you’re jealous?”

“Not really....this was my way to make ya choose me instead of him... I wanted to be the perfect man for ya.. so ya wouldn’t leave me...”

My heart broke with those words and my eyes filled with tears.

“Baby no...” Was all I could say before I pulled him towards my chest and let his head rest on my breasts.

“You ARE and ALWAYS will be the perfect man for me! I love you for who you are! You don’t need you to change anything, you were and will always be my perfect gift from the universe. My ray of sunshine”

He looked up and I couldn’t help but kiss him passionately.

“You promise?”

“How can you even ask that?” I smiled

“I’m sorry for the things I said before... I was angry and jealous..I was just so scared to lose ya..” He hugged me tighter and pecked my lips

“You’re stuck with me Devitt!” I chuckled

“I wouldn’t want it any other way love” he sweetly smiled at me

“So my baby boy is a jealous one huh? Getting all clingy and needy...” I teased him

“Ya have that effect on me babe” he laughed

“He needs constant proof that he is loved” I started to kiss his neck

“And wanted” my hands roamed his chest and abs

“And needed” my hands stopped at his crotch

“Hmmmm what are ya doing love?”

“Maybe” I straddle his hips “I should show you how much I love you” I started to hump him “Need you” I lowered my lips to his ears “And just how much you turn me on”

“That would be nice ya know?” He said with a low voice and placed his hands on my hips to establish a rhythm to our now dry humping.

“Yeah? Would you like that baby?”

“Mmhhmmm..that would be a great confidence boost for sure love” He started to kiss my neck

“And how could I help you with that?”

“Oh I’ve got a few ideas...”

“So tell me”

And my eyes closed to enjoy every dirty thing that beautiful Irish man wanted me to do with him.

And boy I was more than eager to!

#finn balor imagine #finn balor smut #finn balor x reader #finn balor one shot #finn balor fanfiction #finn balor #fergal devitt #wwe imagine #wwe one shot #wwe fanfiction #masochist writes

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hey-hamlet · 4 years

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BNHA AU Ideas: True Might

Also on AO3!

TL;DR: Powers don't make the hero - passion does. Luckily for Izuku and Toshinori, this is something the quirkless have in droves.

AKA: All Might is a quirkless vigilante, One for All isn't a quirk that exists and 1A gets a whole 3-week buffer before villain's start kicking their face in as opposed to the 3 days of canon.

Basically: Quirkless!Vigilante!All Might and Quirkless!Successor!(gen ed) UA Student!Midoriya. It’s a riot.

Yagi is stupid strong, his only form in this AU is basically Muscle Form from canon, but he’s a little less ridiculously cut. Not quite chubby, but huggable. This is mostly because he A, isn’t a celebrity that needs to have a marketable image and B, he really likes carbs.

He’s not exactly a vigilante by choice, in his day and age quirkless kids weren’t permitted to apply to UA, either gen ed or heroics. When Nezu got the job, that all changed, but it was a solid decade too late for Yagi.

He’s admittedly a little bitter about it, but he refuses to do anything but his best. He might be a little snippier with Pros than he really needs to be but oh well.

Katsuki and Izuku are utterly enamoured with this crazy vigilante that just doesn’t lose, refuses to back down from a fight even when he’s outmatched, and somehow coming out victorious anyway, rescuing everyone. They have a tense relationship, but often find time to get together and just ramble about how cool All Might is, share theories and dissect his fights. It’s not uncommon for Katsuki to have been hurling abuse at Izuku during class, only to show up at his house after school with a backpack full of snacks and a notebook full of questions.

Izuku knows most of what Katsuki does is to keep his status in the school. If he showed pity to a dumb quirkless runt he’d be painted with the same brush. This doesn’t make what Katsuki has done right! Only Izuku doesn’t blame him because he’s way too forgiving.

Izuku is the smartest person Katsuki knows and vice versa – they are each other’s measuring stick. Katsuki shows Izuku bravery, Izuku shows Katsuki determination.

Episode 1 goes as it does but you see a real flash of regret when Katsuki tells Izuku to jump off a roof because they are kinda-sorta friends. Izuku looks so betrayed. We meet the slime villain like before, All Might saves Izuku and 100% doesn’t expect the kid to fanboy about him and ask for two autographs – one made out to a “Kacchan”.

“Can someone quirkless be a hero?” “The whole world will be against you. Most places won't even give you a shot – no matter how good you are. You’re better off picking something else.”

Izuku is crushed but he does understand. All Might leaves and Izuku trails off kinda hopelessly. He follows the sounds of explosions without meaning to.

It’s Katsuki! He’s dying! Like usual at this point lmao. Izuku rushes in much like canon, All Might shows up, pulls Katsuki free and slams a dumpster on the slime villains head before making a speedy getaway. The police rip into Izuku but Katsuki actually defends him. “You were doing fuck all while I fucking died – don’t knock the only asshole who tried.” Izuku quietly slips him the autograph before running off the scene. Katsuki cries because Izuku got that for him even after he was such a fucking bastard that day? He can’t bring himself to be a dick to Izuku again, even only for show.

All Might finds Izuku and he's like “Sorry I was an ass I was being a dick because I had low self-esteem – I’m quirkless. If you’ll have me I’ll make you into the best hero the world had ever seen

Izuku, obviously, says yes please!

Also, hypermobile Izuku with joint braces as support gear because just let me project please my arms are killing me ( I wrote this a while ago and yes. My arms are still killing me - yes even now). He gets them after All Might sees him miss a dodge because his ankles rolled beneath him. They support his joints beyond the normal range of strength, letting him do some crazy pivots and handsprings, making it easy to support all his weight on a single-arm with very little strain. They can also lock in place, lessening muscle fatigue if he needs to hold onto something for ages and preventing injury if he’s pushing against something. Produced by David and Melissa Shield and imported through Nighteye Heroics.

Is support gear illegal for civilians to own? Yes! But medical equipment isn’t so if you can just convince people its medical not support you can get away with a lot.

Yagi has no weapons himself, other than the random shit he picks up and swings at people, and has little support gear other than a communicator, panic button, and a whole lot of zip-ties.

Izuku should probably have weapons but I’m struggling to think of anything other than war fans because how cool would that look? Because Shonen they would also have the ability to create powerful downdrafts that would give a boost to a jump or dodge.

Probably doesn’t get them until later and needs to train with them.

In this AU, One for All isn’t a quirk. Rather, it’s a role, passed from quirkless person to quirkless person, the only people who can’t be hard countered by All for One. They tend to be vigilantes, crime lords or hero managers, doing their part to foil as much of All for One’s plans as they can, through whatever means necessary.

It’s a role with a pretty high fatality rate.

No one knows All Might is quirkless other than those close to him, they instead think he has a strength quirk. He’s the most prolific vigilante in Japan and is almost as much of a household name as canon All Might. More divisive though, with most people decrying his vigilante status when he could ‘easily make a respectable hero’. He’s also pretty brutal with his takedowns of some villains, leading a lot of people to call him an unregulated brute. Still more call him a villain which, legally he would be - were he using a quirk.

Nighteye is his contact in the heroics industry, gives him loads of inside info that’s typically not something he should be passing on. He’s still close with David Shield. Nighteye imports any costume parts he needs from David and leaves them at various pickup points for Yagi.

He went to college with David in America after Nana died; America having a quirk blind admission process helped - but he’d have gotten shit talked a lot if people didn’t just assume he had a strength quirk. Dude was and is crazy big.

David was one of the only people that knew he was quirkless

OH FOR FUN; Nighteye was also going to this American college and that’s where he met All Might. The three of them became the world’s strangest group of friends and may have lowkey done some slightly illegal vigilante work around the campus and surrounding town. They had a reputation for getting no sleep ever and being the most mismatched set of people

Secretly Smart Jock, Business Man with a Touch of E-boy, Science Hipster. They all tumbled into class together with varying levels of alive-ness. Nighteye and David were very much not morning people.

UA! It’s a ride. Izuku fails the practical but he’s not shocked – he was prepared for this.

He actually got like 30 hero points? But they refused to admit him on hero points alone due to his ‘deficiencies’. They don’t exactly tell Izuku this but Aizawa was there and he was furious.

Gets into 1C with Shinsou, Shinsou fuckin hates him on sight for reasons best known to him (It’s bc he was so god damned cheerful he just – assumed Izuku had a quirk. I love Shinsou but he’s more than a little judgemental). Izuku is like smiling through the pain because he just wanted to make a friend his age – Katsuki barely counts.

He sits with him at lunch and makes friends-ish with the hero kids who dragged Katsuki along, meets Ochaco again. She’s upset he didn’t get in – especially after he tells her he apparently got 30 points. The whole table gets mad on his behalf and hes embarrassed and happy.

Like day 2 he’s leaving gym and someone is like “Oh LMAO it’s Deku – he was in the year below me at Aldera. Only fuckin quirkless kid in the whole school; can’t believe he got into UA.” He turns to Izuku. “Who’s dick did you suck to get in you - ?” And Shinsou just decks him. He grabs Izuku – who is super confused fyi – and s p r i n t s. They have to stop after a while because hes having a panic attack and Shinsou doesn’t know what the fuck to do and he’s mad and upset and the sunshine boy is sobbing –

Aizawa shows up, having seen the (end of the) altercation and is ready to expel some gen ed kids he can’t legally expel – until he sees the two kids from the entrance exam he was interested in – including the quirkless kid who should have gotten in. Well he’s much more willing to hear them out.

100% requests expulsion on those 2 2E kids because that’s Discrimination and they should know better as second years. Nezu grants it because those 2 were di ck s

No USJ because no All Might – stuff like that will come,,, later : )

Sports Fest! Izuku and Shinsou kick ass, Aizawa is Watching. All Might may have gotten in as a crowd member with Nighteye and a visiting David and Melissa and they are cheering on their sun son. Also, Nighteye is going to go cheer on Mirio so he just got a pass to attend all 3 days of the sports festival. He’s just buying snacks on the second day because he’s never talked to one of the second years in his life.

Shinsou and Izuku make it to the tournament. Izuku has been training pretty seriously with All Might for a while now and hes a very good fighty boy. Makes it to the 3rd round of the tournament where he loses to Iida. Shinsou makes it second where he loses to Katsuki. Izuku is like “Iida might you be Ingenium’s brother or something?” “Yes, I am!” “OH MY GOD I LOVE INGENIUM ISN’T HE THE COOLEST” “YES MY BROTHER IS AMAZING” Shinsou is just watching while faintly amused.

#bnha au #true might au #bnha #All Might #yagi toshinori #shinsou hitoshi #midoriya izuku #aizawa shouta

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therealapps · 4 years

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Learning how to eat healthy with The Real Apps!

The past two days I have been googling my life away to come up with a diet of healthy foods that may work for me. Let’s not start off there though. Let’s start with what triggered my decision to attempt to change my lifestyle. I recently had an injury to my lower back. The doctors were blunt with me and laid out the two roads I could take to recovering from/managing this injury. Physical therapy and lifestyle change, or back surgery and God (or the universe) only knows what will happen from there. I decided to make the best choice I thought that was for me, and take this long, frustrating road of attempting to switch up my complete lifestyle. You see, I realized here recently what many of you probably already knew. (Hey, don’t hate that I figured it out late!) I am just the beginning of my long road to a healthier lifestyle and yet it has made me realize that I do in fact, believe in “generational curses”. Okay, yeah, so they may not be actual curses. Still, they are taught behaviors that we learn at young ages and carry with us throughout our lives. If we were taught that it’s absolutely fine to eat unhealthy foods as children, and we are allowed to have a poor diet, then we grow up to be adults who make excuses for our horrible diets and eating the junk! Add in the fact that as children we only went to the doctor when something was obviously wrong and even dental hygiene wasn’t taught to us as children. I didn’t get to a dentist until I was 27 years old. Talk about overcoming some serious lifestyle battles, y’all! So, I switched my diet. I went from drinking diet soda to no soda at all! I can’t give up my coffee completely, but I have cut back the amount of coffee I consume in a day and the only other thing I drink is water. I have google making cucumber and citrus water. Seems like a good way to get some extra antioxidants into your diet. I would love to get some feed back on other healthy drinks you guys may have in mind. Years ago, I went to the doctor due to another injury. This doctor, after learning my family medical history (diabetes and heart disease galore!), put me on a diet and it actually worked. All natural foods, no processed foods, low carbs, no dairy and avoid starchy foods. I was down 25 lbs. What happened? Me! A cheat meal, turned into a cheat day. That turned into a cheat week. That weak turned into a month, and so on. You know the story. Let’s fast-forward years later. here I am. 35 years old. My body definitely doesn’t process things the same way anymore. When I started this journey I was probably somewhere between 292-300 pounds. I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and weighted 292 pounds, but I had already been dieting for a couple of weeks. I just did my best to avoid scales and didn’t want to know. Now I am going up and down between 282-286-ish. I felt a little defeated because I know I can do this. I don’t want to do weight loss surgery, No offense to those who chose to have one. I just decided to try the natural route first. Still, I’m at a stand still. I was at my wits end. Here I am trying to make myself eat salads and fruits all the time and nothing is changing! If I have to eat one more salad, I might lose my mind! Then I start really thinking. What other foods can I eat besides salads that are healthy for me? Yes fruits are natural sugars, but what fruits should I avoid that are high in sugar? It was at this point I decided to hit google and find out what kind of foods are really on the healthy side or on the big bad no-no list. So, what did I learn? Lots. And I expected to. I have a list of foods to avoid, from starchy foods like potatoes to fruits high in sugar like pineapples and bananas. Fruits like berries, kiwi and apples are better choices. Legumes and Lentils! Why didn’t I think of that?! I love some good beans. Protein and “good carbs”? Did I read that right? I have learned so much just by putting in the work on my own. I have a rather big shopping list with things like turmeric, ginger, and herbs on it. Things I would have never thought to buy and naturally season my foods with, while cutting out those salty food seasonings. Cauliflower rice? Here I am thinking the food Gods hate me. There’s a whole world of healthy foods out there I never thought to explore, to be honest. I can’t wait to try some of my ideas out when it comes to making these “new to me” foods with these “new to me” flavors! Learning what I have put my energy into discovering for myself the past two nights, is giving me hope that I can really live a better lifestyle. I am finally discharged from physical therapy, as of this past Friday. I have learned stretches to do that help me manage my back pain. I avoid activities that would compromise my healing. I started exercising again for the first time today. Starting off slowly with twenty minutes of cardio on my exercise bike and some exercises working out various parts of the body. Hoping to gradually add more exercises into the mix when my body is stronger. If you happen read this blog and have any advice on some of these things, lets talk about it. I look forward to interacting with others and learning more ways to help myself achieve my goal of becoming a healthier me. Take care, Apps <3

#weightloss #lifestylechange #weightlossmotivation

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elusivexo · 5 years

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NYR 2020

i never forget to make new year’s resolutions because i just love making lists and disappointing myself when i don’t actually get around to them :p jk i really do love the prospect of starting anew, and i’m excited for what 2020 will bring :)

review of last year’s:

a photo a day project - nailed it ;) i mean, it is pretty much my substitute for blogging @_@

homecooked food album + cook something new 1x/month - surprisingly i was still able to cook something new once a week! except for when i went to japan :p i cooked nothing that entire month LOL but then cooked like 5 new dishes in thailand the next week so uh does that cancel out?

opt for low-carb/vegetarian/healthy weekday lunches - hmmm i think i actually did pretty well on this! :)

go to the gym 1x/week - this had a rocky start, but i did start working out in earnest in late june and i’ve actually been working out pretty much every day since then. :D

donate clothes - UGH WHY ... sticking it on again for next year

read 30 books this year - 42! :)

finish foodtography school - nope LOL but maybe next year :x

review of fourth year resolutions:

read, read, read - yep, but not enough :(

make macarons - yep!

yelp - got elite for 2019 :)

explore sushi - hmm yes? i did have more sushi, but this is an expensive hobby :p

use my torch for savory dishes - nooo i didn’t

host themed cheese nights - yes!

host themed potlucks - started doing this in searcy :D

host dinners - mostly here in arkansas

home improvement - did quite a bit though this is moot now that i no longer live there haha

this year’s resolutions will be more health-focused (both physical and emotional), since i’ll be turning 30!

drink more water - i bought myself a water bottle with time markings! i definitely don’t drink enough water :(

skincare - my mom’s skin is better than mine LOL. i’m going to start putting on sunscreen when i’m outside and try to do a face mask at least once a month, and put on lotion more regularly.

continue working out/eating healthy-ish weekday meals - i’ve gotten into a pretty good routine, so i think i should be good :)

cook a new veggie q2 weeks - inspired by alex! not like an ENTIRELY new veggie, but just 26 different veggies throughout the year, hopefully seasonal.

marie kondo my room at home - i’ll be living at home from july to october, so hopefully i will spend a good amount of time paring down.

budget more seriously - i’ve never really had to budget before, but i will absolutely have to if i want to live in a nice place but stay within my means. (aka eating out way less and being more mindful of grocery/travel expenses).

take up ceramics or dance - idk if i’d be able to actually afford a new hobby LOL but i would love to focus on something else with all the time i will have as a single person :)

snack less & drink less juice - i’m going to cut out snacks (especially chips) and juice for january and february entirely (well, not the week that i’m in LA). i don’t like depriving myself of something completely, so hopefully weaning myself off of them will help me be healthier the rest of the year.

observe lent - i think i’m going to do vegetarian weekday meals; i succumb really easily to my carnal desires, and i think this will be a good reminder to really turn to God and remind myself of how much He’s sacrificed for me.

finish foodtography school - for real, i do really want to be better at food photography.

#new year's resolutions #2020

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basilpizzeria-blog · 4 years

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Best Pizza Place in Oakland

No matter where you live, everyone loves pizza. The artwork of pizza-making calls for that a variety of factors works collectively in tandem — ingredients, dough-making skills, oven temperature — and I'm glad to mention the East Bay has its truthful proportion of amazing pizzaiolos.

You can locate all variations of pizza, from Little Caesar's to the prize-triumphing Neapolitan variety, throughout the East Bay. There is a variety of best pizza in Oakland ca.

v Marley G's Pizzeria

A relatively new child at the block having opened in the past due 2018, this cosy, own circle of relatives pleasant Park Street pizzeria is introduced to you through the proprietors of Scolari's Good Eats.

You'll locate pizza through the slice at affordable prices, also, to complete pizzas to move which can be huge. The classics like cheese and pepperoni are sparkling and delicious; however, they provide different specific factor combos, particularly the Swedish-stimulated banana chook curry pie — yes, you study that right. Bonus: they do provide a cauliflower crust choice for his or her pizzas in case you're searching out a healthier, low-carb choice: excellent service, pleasant staff, substantial menu with something for everyone. The simplest drawback I can call is they do now no longer do transport.

v Zachary's Chicago Pizza

It's a touch tricky at this factor even to understand what to mention approximately Zachary's that hasn't already been said. It is virtually a Bay Area institution. With the authentic College Avenue area having opened 30+ years ago, Zachary's now has five places throughout the East Bay. This overview makes a speciality of their Berkeley area on Solano Avenue. Quirky Zachary's themed artwork embellishes the partitions right here, nearly paying homage to the numerous creative posters that beautify the inner of the Fillmore.

Although typically regarded for his or her Chicago-fashion filled pies, the bulk of pizzas from the unique menu may be made as a crispy, semi-skinny crust as well. Weekly specials are always converting and provide flavorful combinations. Delivery is likewise to be had via third-celebration transport sites. You can't name yourself a resident of the East Bay in case you haven't long past to Zachary's, so get on it!

v Cheeseboard Collective

#The vital Gourmet Ghetto bakery and pizza save is globally well-known and decidedly merits all of the reward heaped on it. This worker-owned collective has been open due to the fact 1971, and additionally stimulated the hole of Arismendi Bakery, any other cooperative bakery.

Cheeseboard gives a one-of-a-kind vegetarian pizza each day, with vegan and gluten loose options — however, the toppings are what they're. You can grasp a slice, 1/2 of a pie or an entire pie (simplest one length to be had), and there's quite a whole lot assured to be a line right here, however its movements highly quickly. There's now no longer a ton of seating inner, however lots outside. And don't neglect about to attempt a number of their signature creamy, inexperienced dipping sauce!

v Seniore's Pizza

It is reasonably priced pizza; they provide relatively rapid transport, and the first-class element is they're open till three a.m. (ish) on weeknights and nearly four a.m. on weekends! This is the sort of rarity withinside the Bay Area, and I sense that that is deserving of a slot in this list. The menu has a quite excellent selection; however, I tend to choose the fundamentals from this place. A conventional cheese or pepperoni pizza after a past due night time out is usually simply what the health practitioner ordered. The majority in their places are in SF and the South Bay, however, their Berkeley area gives transport to a respectable East Bay radius. Their Durant Avenue area is small and simple, with a counter with some chairs. It's exquisite for a fast slice; however now no longer for a sit-down dinner.

#best pizza downtown oakland #basil pizzeria menu

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kaoarika · 6 years

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Late night (early morning) vent-talk again~

It’s the... 4th month of the di*et (my next appointment is on the 16th). Miraculously, and because of my own strict behavior about it, I am around 70-ish kgs as we speak. Last month was hard, though... as I found out the hard way that I cannot stand/process some food anymore :’D

I don’t know how to explain this? It’s probably me - I have a very high memory of flavors. Maybe that’s why I often crave certain food I haven’t tasted in a while (especially sweets), so... the medicine is definitely doing something to me, as it has also decreasing my appetite... and I’m constantly not wanting to eat much.

So, the memory activates as I start eating... but I become nauseous. Also could be because routine and because i’m abhorrent to keep eating the same over and over... but even so, we did eat in a routine before all of this, but I never became so abhorrent of it or nauseous.

It all started with grinded meat. And because I am not able to eat other vegetables that are not green atm (so not grinded meat with potatoes and carrots), nor burgers (because buns and ketchup)... the taste becomes... awful in my mind. One day, I literally couldn’t anymore and... well, it went as well as you can imagine that.

My mom stopped buying grinded meat, btw, because I just couldn’t eat it anymore.

And then... pretty much recently...

Cabbage soup, some chicken in a certain way it’s prepared... and much more lately... I don’t feel hungry. Well... more like I don’t have that much appetite anymore. I’m probably eating not well, either... I just end up eating a hardboiled egg, or tuna, or strawberries/blueberries (and letting a low-carb cookie). I cannot feel “enjoyment” eating other veggies. Or ham or sausages (and my trick with the later is that I have to put it some mustard and ketchup to make it feel like I’m eating a hotdog).

Sure, this goes without saying - I have been cheating the diet too. I just simply cannot NOT eat carbs nor sugar - my system is pledging for that. AND YES, I’m conscious that once I receive the maintenance diet I will eat that again in a measured way. Last month I ate some tacos... tamales (and so I did last week); we ate pizza two weeks ago (and it was just two pieces of a “big” size) AND then there was the ice cream...

Like I have previously detailed, it’s not like we eat these frequently. Probably... it’s a 3-4 month thing with each.

I still lost 3-4 kilos before last appointment, even if I was genuinely worried I wouldn’t do that. But the doctor wanted me to lost another 8 kgs. Even though I genuinely don’t want to go through this anymore. She genuinely asked me if I wanted to keep going... for another two months (let’s say my last appointment for this is on November) but couldn’t say no. Ugh, what the hell, me.

Ah, to think this diet was going to be 6 months long... suddenly cut to 3... and then extended to two months more.

I think the thing that is worrying me the most is the fact I’m not really eating the way I should do. It’s supposed to be healthy... yes... but I’m really not eating much. And I feel nauseous at times when I shouldn’t be doing that.

“It’s the medicine”, Okay, I accept that. “The medicine knows when you are eating carbs”. YES, I know... but I had a stomachache that would take time to pass. Not genuinely making me feel sick when I am ABOUT to eat. Or when I’m EATING something. And heck, I sometimes “sneak” a cookie because my body NEEDS some carbs, it shouldn’t be like THAT.

I mentioned this during the last appointment and it was brushed aside with no further solution or comment :’D

Fortunately, my blood analysis says that I’m all good. But my other studies say “okay, you still have this x amount of fat in your body... and, for some reason your muscle is a bit lower than you are supposed to have” And, okay, that’s understandable... “you should exercise more annd probably walk more... there’s this alternative you can buy to stretch your arms and the like”.

She also mentioned that since I’m still young, and I have been losing almost 30 kgs in four months, the skin I have left from my fat-self (I do still feel chubby... not saying that as a bad thing, however) can still be “pulled back” w/o surgery (it’s not much, tbh). I don’t know if she was... shaming me in a way? (would be? w/o bad intentions, probably?) Especially since it’s making me very selfconscious of stuff that I shouldn’t be so conscious around. UGH. Maybe it’s a thing of my arms... and my thighs mostly... so I will be using sashes soon or later.

(I like her “enthusiasm” of saying “these things are so cheap!” “500-ish pesos cheap” it’s 26 USD more or less... still not so cheap in my mind).

Other “minimal issues” I’m having, and excuse my sense of tmi. My period process apparently was never okay and I was never informed of that before (the more specific word I search is “taught of this before”. Since I have been “normalizing” my own hormones and the like... it’s like having my first period again of sorts *lays down*. Like... it was never a very regular thing, it could arrive early or late... and then all of sudden when I start becoming “okay”, I have some blood coming out a week or two before the period even starts. “IS this even okay? Is this what “ovulating” really means? Cleaning the tubes?” and it’s somehow embarrassing to confess. Summer was also like hell here.

In unrelated news, but offtopic, because this was a thing that crossed my mind recently- I was kinda proud I was already reaching Suba’s “old” weight of 72 kgs... and then he confirmed on Friday he is 90 kgs and it looks he is still gradually figthing to return to that weight sooner or later? Or he looks somewhat fitter because he is doing smth else???, :’)))

*Kao cries because she is kinda proud of being at least something lighter than her bias now...*

*also, mindful reminder that I really don’t have any problem with how he looks right now... in fact, and ngl, he looks somewhat “fitter” than he did last year. I also like he looks squishy sometimes /)////(\

#kao's nonsenses #you know the drill about these writ*ïngs

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artificialqueens · 7 years

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Something Near Perfect - Part Eight (Shalaska) - Lost Imp

A/N Hi again! This part features a happy(ish) Lasky, for now at least. Also, I think it goes without saying that I love Gia and Alyssa, and anything nasty I write about them in this part of in the next few parts is merely fiction. As always, any feedback/prompts are welcome! Thanks for reading. - Lost Imp

The following morning, Alaska was looking a bit better and had successfully eaten dinner the night before. She had also slept most of the night. The same could not be said for Sharon, who had stayed in bed with Alaska until she was sure her girlfriend was asleep and then went back out into the living room to spend hours researching different tips and guidelines on helping someone who relapses with an eating disorder. She had fallen asleep on the couch somewhere around three in the morning and was still asleep when Alaska moped out to the living room wrapped in a blanket. Her head was still full of scary thoughts and she felt almost as vulnerable as she had in Courtney’s house two days ago.

Alaska tried to make her way to the kitchen as quietly as possible to make herself a cup of coffee, but unfortunately, she didn’t account for the large train of blanket dragging behind her that caught on small wooden stool they used for holding candles. The candles all went crashing to the ground as the stool rolled onto its side.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Alaska cursed loudly.

Sharon jumped up from the couch, worried Alaska had hurt herself. Upon realizing that the only thing that was injured was a candle, she chuckled and put the stool back upright.

Alaska didn’t find the situation quite as amusing, fed up with herself that she couldn’t even walk to the kitchen without making a mistake.

“I’m sorry Sharon” Alaska said sadly, “I can’t do anything right” she muttered under her breath hoping her girlfriend wouldn’t hear. She did.

“Alaska, please don’t. It’s ok, I’d rather be up to have breakfast with you anyway” Sharon said, opening her arms invitingly.

Alaska gratefully accepted the hug, standing for a moment just enjoying the still calmness that came with being wrapped in her girlfriend’s arms.

Sharon went to the kitchen to make food, assuring Alaska that she was fine to handle breakfast alone and that she should go have a shower while she was making the fruit salad with eggs and toast. Healthy enough that Alaska would eat it, but enough to include carbs, protein and nutrients.

After Alaska had showered and put on some comfy leggings and one of Sharon’s old ripped hoodies, she was able to eat breakfast somewhat more comfortably than she had the previous day in hospital. After a half hour of slow progress though, she had only eaten half of her meal.

“Babe, how’s your head?” Sharon asked, noting the low food intake.

“Ok…..No, it’s bad. But I’m eating. It’s just slow” Alaska answered determinedly.

“Take your time, doll” Sharon smiled, squeezing her girlfriends hand. She then continued to talk about a new piece of art she wanted to work on. Sure enough, within the hour, Alaska had eaten most of her food, but ended up taking mild painkillers for her head. They were both still quite tired. “Hey Shar?” Alaska asked, carrying plates over to the sink.

“Yes babe?”

“Can we watch some Golden Girls?”

“Whatever you want Lasky”. Sharon was glad her girlfriend wanted to relax and leave her schoolwork for a bit. During breakfast she had mentioned an essay due for Wednesday that she needed to work on. Thankfully she seemed to have forgotten that notion, for now at least.

Alaska made a cup of coffee for Sharon and a mint tea for herself, setting them down on the table in the living room, while her girlfriend put on one of the many Golden Girls box-sets Alaska owned and piled blankets onto the couch. Curling up in their usual position, Sharon’s hand immediately moved to stroke her girlfriend’s hair. It was another one of those nearly perfect moments that made Alaska want to keep fighting and Sharon want to keep living.

Many hours later, Sharon woke up to a much quieter room then she had earlier that morning. It took her about thirty seconds to realise why the room was so quiet. No Alaska.

“Lasky?” she called, hundreds of anxiety-inducing scenarios running through her head. She checked the bedroom and the bathroom, returning quickly to the kitchen.

A loud knock on the door pulled her from her thoughts. She opened the door, hoping to see Alaska standing there after a short walk. Instead she was met with two other blonde girls.

“Oh. Hi” Sharon said, looking behind them hoping to see a third, taller girl, but she had no such luck.

“Hi Needles, is Alaska asleep?” Willam asked, stepping inside.

“We need to talk to you” Courtney added seriously.

“I was hoping she was with you. I just woke up and she’s not here.” Sharon said, becoming increasingly more worried.

“What?” Courtney said, scared.

“Calm down.” Willam said dryly. “Look, here” she said, handing Sharon a note that was sitting on the kitchen table.

Shar,

Gone for a short walk to clear my head.

Be back soon.

Love you!

“Thanks” Sharon said to Willam, letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“So, can we talk?” Courtney asked, still clearly worried about whatever it was she had to say.

“Yeah, sure, but I should probably go find Alaska first. Do you want to wait here? There’s coffee and stuff…” Sharon said.

“No, we can’t tell Alaska” Courtney rushed to interrupt.

“What, why?”

“Also, maybe you should let her clear her head. She probably needs to. And I think she’s too in love with you to do any serious damage to herself” Willam said reassuringly. Despite her usually biting sense of humour and I don’t give a fuck attitude, Willam was intelligent and helpful when she needed to be.

“Yeah. Ok. Thanks. Do you want some coffee?” Sharon asked again.

“We need to talk to you, Sharon, it’s important”, Courtney repeated, becoming impatient.

Willam grabbed her hand and squeezed it, effectively calming her down.

“Sorry Courtney, I’m listening. We can sit down.” Sharon said, sitting down at the kitchen table. Both of the other girls sat down opposite her.

“It’s about Alyssa” Courtney began.

“Fuck. I still haven’t decided what to do about her. I think burning her alive would be too painless.”

Willam laughed, but Courtney just glared at the two of them, trying to understand why Sharon couldn’t understand how important this was.

“She’s going to hurt Alaska.” Courtney almost yelled.

“She’s what?” Sharon said, alarmed, finally focusing all her attention on what Courtney had to say.

“Well, when we were at the game yesterday, we were getting ready to go out on the field, and Alyssa came to me and Bill, asking where Alaska was. We told her that she was really sick, obviously not giving details.” Courtney assured.

“Devil bitch was not happy, and neither were her mini devil crony bitches. They were saying that they were going to kick her off the team. We tried to argue with them, but we were called to go out on the pitch.” Willam continued.

“When we came back to the changing rooms after the game, we were last to get into the showers, so we were two of the last to leave. We overheard Alyssa and Gia talking about hurting someone. A tall bitch that had it coming. It sounded bad Sharon. They said… they said…”

“They said what, Courtney?”

“I…”

“They said that if the anorexic bitch hadn’t killed herself by Monday, that they knew exactly how to help her along the way.” Willam said, point blank, never one to sugar coat an issue.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck!” Sharon yelled, “I swear to God, I will kill them. The low-life manipulative bitchy fucking cunts” Sharon swore, feeling more anger than she had ever felt towards anyone in her life.

It was exactly this moment that the three girls heard the key turn in the door. Alaska slipped in quietly, only to be met with the sight of her girlfriend and best friends sitting at her kitchen table. Sharon looked angry, and Alaska immediately felt bad, figuring she had worried her girlfriend by disappearing. She ran over to her quickly.

“I’m so sorry, Shar, I didn’t mean to make you angry, I just thought it would be nice to go for a walk. I didn’t think I was gone that long, I had to come back because it was so cold. I’m so sorry.”

“Hey babe, baby, calm down. I’m not angry. You’re fine” Sharon said pulling her shivering girlfriend into her lap, kissing her temple. She had softened her facial expression, adamant she wouldn’t let Alaska know why she had looked so angry.

“Are you sure?” she asked, curling her limbs in around her and cuddling into her girlfriend.

“Absolutely” Sharon said, kissing her temple again.

This seemed to keep Alaska happy enough.

“So, what are you two doing here?” she asked, smiling at Willam and Courtney.

“We wanted to stop in and say hi!” Courtney replied, happy to see her best friend so content being back at home. “Oh, and I found some new fruity tea when I was shopping this morning and I got it for you to try!” she added cheerfully, pulling a box from her large purse.

“Thanks Court!” Alaska said, “I’ll make some. I’m still frozen. It’s really cold out there”

Courtney’s smile fell a bit at this statement. It reminded her that Alaska was still very much unhealthy and unwell. It was actually a particularly warm day. Fortunately, Alaska still hadn’t noticed Courtney’s sad eyes, Willam’s angry eyes, and Sharon’s eyes filled with a mixture of concern, fear and anger.

“Does anyone else want tea or coffee?” Alaska said, masking the fact that she knew she would have to eat something with her tea. Sharon knew this too, but wasn’t saying anything yet.

“I’ll have more coffee please, doll” Sharon said, knowing it would be easier for her girlfriend to eat if she had company doing so.

“Me too, Lask” Willam said.

“I’ll help you with the tea, Lasky” Courtney offered, walking over and filling the kettle with water.

Alaska and Sharon’s house had always been one of Courtney’s favourite places. It was by no means big, but it had enough space to be comfortable, it was cosy, and it had so many little touches of personality. The kettle with the ghosts on it, the bright blankets everywhere, no doubt added by Alaska and pictures of the two girls scattered around every room.

Courtney and Alaska fell easily into conversation about the type of cat Alaska wanted to get for Sharon for Christmas from the local rescue center. However, at the kitchen table Willam and Sharon talked quietly about how they could go about dealing with Alyssa and protecting Alaska.

“Alaska, can we go sit in the living room. It’s so cosy.” Courtney whined.

“You want me to lift my weary bones?” Willam groaned.

“I’ll be back in a minute, I’m just going outside.” Sharon said, grabbing a pack of cigarettes from her jacket and walking out the door. Willam followed her.

Alaska quietly took note. She knew her girlfriend was stressed. Stress and anxiety was why she picked up her bad habit of smoking in the first place. She reminded herself to check in with Sharon later.

Alaska stood staring at the packet of cookies in one of the presses for a minute, mentally forcing herself to put them on a plate and bring them over to the living room. She knew that doing this meant she would have to eat one, that she would have to make herself eat one.

Outside Sharon produced two cigarettes, one for herself and one for Willam, who promptly lit both.

Sharon took a long drag, relaxing herself with the comfort of the smoky exhale.

“So, what’s the plan, Needles?” Willam asked, taking a drag from her own cigarette. She was partial to weed, but never turned down the offer of a good smoke.

“I want to hurt her, Willam, badly. And I know people who would help me. But if Alaska ever found out, that I hurt people for her, even Alyssa and Gia, I don’t know what she would do. You know what she’s like. Too kind for her own good.”

“You know I want nothing more than for that bitch to die. Even if it were quick and fairly painless. But I’m far too pretty for prison.” Willam replied, tying to lighten the mood.

Back inside, Courtney and Alaska were wrapped up beside each other sipping tea, chatting intermittently while watching an episode of Golden Girls that Courtney had no doubt her friend had seen ten or more times. It didn’t bother Alaska at all, partially because she could never watch too much Golden Girls and partially because her mind was more focused on the plate of cookies in front of her.

Sharon and Willam came back in, grabbing their coffee from the kitchen, Willam sitting down in a small armchair by the tv, and Sharon sliding in on the other side of Alaska on the couch.

Sharon noticed her girlfriend’s eyes glued to the plate of cookies in front of her. She picked one up herself and began eating it, offering the plate first to Courtney and Willam, then finally to Alaska. She leaned in closely to her girlfriend and whispered, “We’ll eat it together. No big deal. Right?”

Alaska calmly nodded, picking up a cookie and nibbling along the sides.

Sharon simply squeezed her girlfriend’s hand and focused her gaze on Dorothy and Rose.

Courtney and Willam’s quick morning visit turned into a three-hour event of coffee and talking and Golden Girls. Even if it were just for a short while, Alaska was happy. Truly content with being at home, with her girlfriend and her best friends watching her favourite tv show. She felt loved, and safe, and she didn’t feel embarrassed by it for the first time over the last few days. As Courtney pressed play on their tenth episode of the Golden Girls, Alaska’s mind began to wander to the following day. Monday. School.

“More tea, Lasky?” Courtney suddenly asked from her girlfriend’s lap, where she had moved a few episodes ago.

“I’m ok. We should get lunch or something though. It’s after two” Alaska responded.

Sharon turned her head to stare, slightly shocked, at her girlfriend.

Noticing Sharon’s reaction, Courtney stepped in quickly.

“We can go. You know, for lunch? Willam and I can go back to mine.” She said, worried having more people in her home while eating a meal would upset Alaska. “It’s just that we’ve been here for a while.” She added quickly.

Sharon smiled gratefully at Courtney, but Alaska was adamant that she would fall back into normal eating habits. She knew everyone was skirting around the issue of eating with her.

“I think we should order a pizza or something. You know, from that nice vegetarian place that’s a few blocks over?” Alaska asked, ignoring Courtney’s offer to leave.

“Are you sure?” Sharon asked quietly.

“I’ll be fine. I promise.” Alaska said, pecking her girlfriend on her lips.

“Sounds good to me” Willam said.

“Me too” Courtney answered happily.

“I’ll go call” Sharon said, going to grab her phone from the kitchen.

Alaska smiled at Courtney before returning her gaze to the tv, hoping that if she pretended for long enough that she was happy to eat and in control of her feelings toward food, that those pretenses might just manifest themselves into reality.

When the pizza’s arrived, Alaska had to fight her head. It took a lot of effort and talking to herself, and she only managed a slice and a half of her vegetable pizza. She felt tired, and fed up, and embarrassed, her previously sunny mood evidently gone, so she merely curled herself into a ball and lay her head in Sharon’s lap. Sharon didn’t mind one bit, understanding how hard eating must be for her girlfriend right now, especially when they weren’t alone. As usual, Sharon’s hand automatically resumed stroking her girlfriend’s hair as she fell asleep.

About a half hour later, Willam and Courtney decided they would go home, on one hand to give Alaska some space when she woke up, and on the other to make-out, seeing as they hadn’t been on top of each other for almost five hours. Before leaving, Courtney kissed Alaska’s cheek softly, and Willam promised Sharon that they would follow through with their plan Monday evening. Sharon solemnly nodded in response.

Once the other two were gone, Sharon switched off the tv and allowed herself to fall asleep for the third time that day, wrapped up on the couch with her girlfriend.

#lost imp #shalaska #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #something near perfect #tw eating disorder #high school au #hurt/comfort #courtney act #willam belli #witney #rpdr fanfiction #lesbian au

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im-reylo-trash-and-i-dont-care · 7 years

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*SQUEEE!!* thank you for tagging me!!! ❤️❤️ @andiwillnotbethelastnerd

a - age: 22

b - birthplace: Fort Belvoir, Virginia (yep, BOTH my parents were in the Army)

c - current time: 12:59 pm

d - drink you last had: water..?

e - easiest person/people to talk to: pretty much everybody haha. My top people though are my boyfriend, my parents, my brother, and my friends, and my fellow tumblr people 😁You know. The core group.

f - favorite song: Umm... umm... wait I got it...

“I feel like a millionaire”

“Turn the lights down low”

“Life’s been good so far”

g - grossest memory: um, this time at work that I had to pick up and dispose of a dead, half rotted toad. It had maggots all over it and in it. I held my breath the whole time. (Personal record for breath holding)

(I work at a gardening center and I’m the only person there that doesn’t get heebie-geebies over picking up animals, dead or alive. I’ve picked up snakes (so the boss wouldn’t kill them) I’ve caught and released frogs and toads (they’re so cute!) (and my manager is deathly afraid of them) I’ve cleaned up dead animals from the front of the store, that the cat leaves for us.) (it takes a lot to gross me out, but the maggoty toad was the worst.) (topping a half-digested mouse)

h - horror yes or horror no: Nope. Nope nope nopity nopity no.

i - in love?: Who isn’t? We’re all in love with something or someone. A book. A character. A job, a thing, or a person. Currently though, my boyfriend haha

j - jealous of people?: Who has time for that kind of negative feeling? Good vibes all around!

l - love at first sight or should I walk by again?: a combo of both. I met my man at work actually haha (Yes! We broke the scandalous taboo that you should never date your coworker.) it started out as a mutual attraction, followed by denial (because no, you can’t date your coworker) and then we started flirting. And by flirting, I mean we were cracking puns left and right. I joke with him that we’re Pun-sexual. Sexually attracted to people that make puns and don’t say “shut up.” When you crack a reaaally good pun. That, and I kept checking him out at work, and then he’d catch me, and I’d look away like I wasn’t. Yeah. We’re dorks. Haha!

m - middle name: Elizabeth. (Like the Queen, but of no relation.)

n - number siblings: 1, my little brother who is in high school, and likes the girls that are taken already, but are in bad relationships. I told him to hold out until college, because then they’ll get smart and realize how awesome he is (because he’s gone out to get me pads, and he got me the right ones because we share a bathroom. He’s not grossed out by periods. He cooks! (He makes a better grilled cheese than I do) and he listens, and he’s an Eagle Scout.)

o - one wish: for people to let go of negativity, and embrace positivity in life. Let’s all get along, and be happy.

p - person you called last: my mom.

q - question you are always asked: Were you in (such and such a class) or (work here)

I look quite generic haha. My best friend’s boyfriend actually mixed us up once. Funny story. I was gonna meet him for the first time (this was high school) and she said she was looking for him, so I was out wandering too. Suddenly, someone comes up behind me and grabs a HANDFUL OF MY ASS. Not a little *boop* or a grope. A handful. So I drop my bag and turn on him “you wanna try that again?!” And he’s all appologetic and scampers off. Then she texts me to meet her in front of a class because she’s got him. I come up and lo and behold... it’s him. The ass grabber. I shout “YOU!!” And she’s goes, “What?” And he turns to her “Babe it was an honest mistake and I’m so sorry” we laughed it off, but for months afterward, he’d come up behind her and make sure that it was her first.

r - reason to smile: All the reasons. It’s a nice day out. The sun is shining, or the rain sounds pleasant. That asshole that cut me off in traffic got pulled over.. you name it.

s - song you sang last: i listen to a lot of songs 🤣

t - time you woke up: 8:30 ish in the morning.

u - underwear colour: nunya. As in, nunya business .

v - vacation destination: Somewhere sunny and 75.

w - worst habit: procrastination. But I like to think that I work well under pressure.

x - x-rays: One that I can remember, from when I had a persistent cough and they needed to X-ray my chest. The one other time, I fell on a table when I was a baby and my mom was worried I broke my brow bone (the bone that goes around your eyeball. You know, push against your eyebrow. That bone.) (I didn’t break it though)

y - your favourite food: carbs. All of the carbs. And bacon.

z - zodiac sign: cancer.

“Oh I have a condition alright! It’s called CARING TOO MUCH. AND ITS INCURABLE!!”

I tag anyone that wants to participate (I apologize if I forget anyone) (I love you all!!)

And @spacewolfqueen @abandoned-as-mustard @macamars @reylobitch @annanymuss

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guitarpanda8 · 5 years

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Eating Keto on the Go

Hey Everyone,

As you know—or, as I hope is pretty obvious—something I try to use my blog for is helping people see how simple low carb and ketogenic diets can be. When we stick with basic principles and get out of our own way, these ways of eating are very straightforward and uncomplicated. There’s not a whole lot of weighing, measuring, tracking, and rules involved. Yes, you can fall down all those rabbit holes and make yourself as fully neurotic as your heart desires, but for those of us who have bigger concerns in our lives than how many grams of omega-6 fat a chicken leg contains, the beauty of low carb and keto is their simplicity.

Awhile back, I offered some suggestions for dining out while adhering to a reduced carb way of eating. Today, let’s take that a step further and talk about how to stay keto while you’re on the road or on the go. What if you’re in the car for a few hours, or maybe even just a short trip, and the hunger monster attacks?

One approach is to think of it as an opportunity to skip a meal or two. I don’t consider skipping meals to be “fasting,” but if thinking of it as intermittent fasting makes you feel like you have special superpowers, then go right ahead. Going longer between meals is a nice way to keep insulin low and “eat” your own stored body fat more than you might if you immediately chowed down on something as soon as a few mild hunger pangs hit.

However, if you’re having a “hangry” moment—and let’s face it, folks, sometimes these still happen even when you’re a “fat burning beast” and are fat- or keto-adapted—then maybe you’re better off pulling into the nearest gas station or convenience store and foraging for some low-carb provisions. (What, you don’t feel hangry on keto? Like, ever? Okay, maybe it’s just me.)

Here are my suggestions for low carb and keto-friendly foods you can grab in a hurry from gas stations and convenience stores. (We’ll get to supermarkets in a bit, since there are more choices there.) These apply to North America…I’m not sure if convenience stores like this exist on other continents, but I’m guessing you have something similar in other parts of the world. I’ll also tack on suggestions for things to keep in your desk or cubicle if you have an office job and have a place nearby to stash non-perishables.

Food purists, avert your eyes. If you can’t imagine letting anything past your lips that isn’t grass-fed, organic, pastured, small-batch, or biodynamic, this post isn’t for you. (In fact, my entire blog probably isn’t for you, but you’re welcome to stick around anyway.) We’re talking about foods to grab in a pinch, when the highest quality and ethically unassailable stuff might not be available. I’m totally okay with that. If you’re not, that’s fine; I still like ya!

Gas Stations or Convenience Stores

Pork rinds (plain might be best, but if you’re not a purist, hot & spicy or salt & vinegar flavors are fine; they typically contain little to no sugar but might be seasoned with MSG, yeast extract, maltodextrin, etc. Even so, the carb count is usually 0g per serving.)

Beef jerky or meat sticks (stick to original or peppered flavors; teriyaki and BBQ are typically higher in sugar)

String cheese; cheese sticks

Salami or pepperoni slices or sticks

Hard boiled eggs

Nuts (avoid honey-roasted and nut mixes that include dried fruit)

Dark chocolate (the higher the cocoa percentage, the lower the sugar content, usually)

Beverages: water, diet sodas, hot or iced tea (unsweetened or diet with artificial sweetener), coffee (hot or iced, unsweetened or diet with artificial sweetener—be careful with pre-made iced coffee; it’s usually sweetened with sugar). Pretty much anything that’s sugar-free. This isn’t rocket science, people!

Supermarket

If you have time to go up an aisle or two in a supermarket, you’ll have a wider selection to choose from. Here are some great go-tos from a supermarket run on the road:

Pork rinds (with or without sour cream dip or guacamole)

Beef jerky

Sliced pepperoni, salami, or dry sausage sticks

Nuts or nut butter

Pre-cooked bacon (yes, this is a thing!)

Deli meats and/or cheese: roast beef, corned beef, and pastrami are probably the lowest in sugar, but baked or roasted turkey is fine; avoid or go easy on “honey baked” or “brown sugar” ham or turkey. Salami, prosciutto, mortadella, and other cured meats are great.

Pre-made egg salad or tuna salad from the deli (ask about ingredients and sugar content)

Rotisserie chicken

Canned tuna, salmon, sardines, or mackerel – be sure to buy ones with a pop-top unless you have a can opener handy

Hard boiled eggs

Bagged salad greens

Raspberries or strawberries (and maybe a small container of sour cream or plain yogurt for dipping)

Salad bar, olive or antipasto bar – many supermarkets now have salad or antipasto bars stocked with fabulous low-carb fare: olives, cheese, artichoke hearts, bell peppers, marinated mushrooms, sliced or chopped hard boiled egg, turkey, grilled chicken, sunflower seeds, sliced almonds, lettuce, spinach, cucumbers, radishes, etc.

If you like to live on the edge and are not afraid of eating unwashed produce, you can hit up the produce section and get low-carb vegetables like a cucumber, green bell pepper, radishes, button mushrooms, celery, etc., and just eat them raw. There is zero wrong with this!

Desk Drawer or Cubicle

Lots of flexibility here! You can practically have a supermarket of nonperishables at your fingertips if you have room to store a few things. Keep in mind, however, that if you’re prone to snacking when food is in your immediate vicinity even if you’re not hungry, you might be better off not keeping a keto stash handy. Do what’s right for you.

For those of you who want to have a keto cache at your disposal during the workday, consider the following:

Pork rinds

Beef jerky

Pepperoni or any other cured meats that don’t require refrigeration until opened

Nuts and/or nut butters (careful here if these are trigger foods for you)

Jar of coconut, olive, or avocado oil

Canned tuna, salmon, sardines, mackerel

Dessicated/dried coconut flakes or chips (unsweetened)

Your favorite vinegars (can be combined with the oils to make a vinaigrette for a lunch salad)

Hot sauce (doesn’t need to be refrigerated, since it’s vinegar-based)

Dark chocolate

Depending on your level of “keto purity,” consider keeping Quest bars, Adapt bars, or other low and low-ish carb products on hand.

Pro Tips

If you’re a salesperson, company rep, parent, or someone else who spends a lot of time in the car, consider keeping a supply of the following essentials in your trunk. (Also good to keep at the office.) It does no good to buy some of the foods above to eat on the go if you have no way of eating them without making a mess. Tuck a small box in the trunk and stock it with:

Can opener

Plastic or metal utensils

Napkins or paper towels

Paper plates or bowls (or use plastic containers, wash them at home or in your hotel room, and reuse)

Did I miss anything you consider a staple for when you’re on the go? (Besides, of course, a container of homemade food or leftovers! To be honest, this is really the best way to go if you're a cook. Always make enough to have some left over to spare for another meal or snack. [Tips on that here.])

Disclaimer: Amy Berger, MS, CNS, NTP, is not a physician and Tuit Nutrition, LLC, is not a medical practice. The information contained on this site is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical condition and is not to be used as a substitute for the care and guidance of a physician. Links in this post and all others may direct you to amazon.com, where I will receive a small amount of the purchase price of any items you buy through my affiliate links.

Source: http://www.tuitnutrition.com/2018/10/keto-on-the-go.html

#read more #see more #check it out #interesting #learn more

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captainlenfan · 5 years

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New Post has been published on http://websiteshop.network/episode-436-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-29/

Episode 436 – Q&A with Robb and Nicki #29

http://robbwolf.com/2019/07/19/episode-436-qa-with-robb-and-nicki-29/

We’re here with Episode 436, Q&A #29!

Submit your own questions for the podcast at: https://robbwolf.com/contact/submit-a-question-for-the-podcast/

If you want to see the video for this podcast, be sure to check out our YouTube channel.

Show Notes:

1. Endurance Fueling For A Keto Athlete [2:00]

Cassandra says:

Dear Robb + Nicki,

First off…thanks for the great job you two do in making complicated nutrition and fitness information easy to access and understand (even for uneducated gym rats like myself). I’ve been listening to the podcast for years, reading the blog and the books (just got Wired to Eat) and I still find myself learning something new almost weekly.

Bottom line up front – how do you guys recommend tackling post-workout nutrition for endurance / high-intensity sports while on the keto train?

I’m 35, 5’8”, 155 lbs with a fairly muscular build. I’ve been doing the Crossfit + weightlifting thing for 5-6 years now (4-6 times a week). I’ve got 10 strict pull ups, a 250 lb 1 RM back squat, a 285 1RM DL and can hold an L-sit for a minute….so I think I’m pretty strong(?) – in some aspects anyway … Strict bedtimes at 8:30 every night with 8 hours of sleep, no injuries, no severe reactions to any type of food (except tequila) – BUT I perform and look a lot better when I’m strict about paleo. I’ve been eating that way and it has been keeping me fueled really well in the aforementioned training situations.

Due to the nature of my job – active duty Marine, I am required to run a 5k every year for time…so I do incorporate running into my weekly routine – usually no more than 15-20 miles a week…long-ish runs mixed with hill sprints or pushing sleds so I don’t die of cardio boredom.

Within the past year – – due to losing a bet or being shamed into them (I can’t quite remember), I’ve also been running a few half marathons and one marathon. I plan do to one more full later this year, the Rock n Roll in Las Vegas – mostly because its an excuse to travel to Vegas with some girlfriends of mine. The low-carb/paleo diet has been awesome for my health on the weightlifting/crossfit/sprinting side of things… but I’m struggling with the endurace side of my fitness.

For my runs more than 90 minutes, I’ve been fueling with some organic stinger chewies/gels near the end of my run and then other, whole-food-type carbs at the end….bananas, berries, coconut water…sometimes gatorade, (an occasional beer :)), etc. My recovery has been OK…not awesome though (and when I take out the mid-run or end carbs, my energy tanks and my joints hurt for days)….. it takes me about me 1-2 days to get through my soreness for half marathons and almost 5 days for a run more than 22 miles WITH the intra and post-carbs.

I’ve recently jumped on the keto train in January…did your masterclass, read Mark Sisson’s book, started listening to a lot of low-carb / keto based podcasts (Shawn Baker, Fat Burning Man, etc) and just started Wired to Eat. I’ve been trying to do my own homework and listen to my body…so far this keto thing has been great! I’ve dropped about 10 lbs since the beginning of the year, have been sleeping a lot better and have seen gains in my strength. But the race season starts up in May (the LV Marathon is in November but I have smaller races and training runs scheduled throughout the summer) and I want to be prepared.

I *think* I’m generally fat-adapted…but I panic after 8 or 9 miles sometimes (the old advice of “carb loading” always creeps back in) and will suck down a terrible gel or gatorade because I’ve made the mistake of running these distances underfueled before and it was a painful, painful lesson. I have heeded your electrolyte advice. I constantly track my sodium, magnesium and potassium levels and take the recommended supplements almost every day (normally on days with a taxing WOD or a workout lasting more than 90 mins).

So what can I eat/drink to keep on the keto train that will help me recover and keep me going on some of these endurance events? Nut butters? Whey protein and water? I want to be armed when I take on Vegas this year and not completely derail my eating habits. And I’d like to start experimenting with these foods now, while I still have time to adjust.

Sorry for writing the novel! If I can find this info in a podcast or in one of the chapters of your books, please feel free to point me in that direction! I appreciate any insight you guys have. Thanks in advance,

Cassandra

2. Should I Add Fat To My Whey Protein Shake? [10:40]

Ben says:

Hi!

Love the podcast (I am one of the six listeners)! Here is my question:

I am wondering if the insulin-spike from a post-workout whey shake can stall my weight loss. Should I add fat like heavy cream or coconut milk to the shake to blunt the insulin response (if yes how much) or am I unable to burn that fat because of the spiked insulin storing it as body fat instead.

Thank you so much and best wishes from Munich, Germany

Ben

3. Portal Circulation and Leaky Gut [14:36]

James says:

Hi Robb,

Thanks for your detailed answer to my question about sun exposure in Q&A #7. You provided a clear and concise answer which is hard to come by these days!

Following your book recommendations in Q&A #6 I hungrily delved into the Lecture notes on Human Metabolism (Thanks Nikki!) and within the first chapter encountered some information that gave me reason to pause.

The portal circulation, I’m certain that you can provide a more accurate and concise explanation of this system to your listeners than I can in this question, so I’ll leave that to you if that’s okay!

My question is: given that all blood (and therefore solutes) from the intestines are drained through the portal vein and through the liver – filtering out excess substrates and removing toxins such as ammonia from the blood before it enters ‘general circulation’, how can leaky gut have such a damaging effect on the body? It seems to me that the liver is a vital backstop in this process which is never mentioned when functional medicine practitioners talk about leaky gut – they give the impression that blood drains from the intestines straight into cardiovascular circulation and these fuel substrates are clanking around in our arteries causing inflammation which seems not to be the case!

Also how does this impact the gut hypothesis of heart disease (highly simplified here) where endotoxin is said to pass through the mucosal membrane into circulation, binding with LDL cholesterol, being attacked and immobilized by immune cells and ultimately ending up being sequestered into an arterial plaque because the immune system cannot destroy cholesterol or unbind the endotoxin from it.

Would the portal circulation not remove this endotoxin from the blood before it enters cardiovascular circulation and meets LDL particles? Is this disease process driven not only by a compromised intestinal lining but also by inefficient liver function?

Thank you for your time again guys, really appreciate your input

Kind Regards

James

4. Do I Have To Sprout My Nuts & Seeds? [20:10]

Joseph says:

Is phytic acid harmful or of benefit? Is it really necessary to jump thru the hoops of soaking & sprouting before consuming nuts & seeds? thank you

5. Caloric Estimate for Young Children? [25:10]

Rory says:

Is there an estimate for calories/pound when it comes to feeding my almost 3 year old (or any child for that matter, say 2-12? The teen years of course marking the onset of self-consciousness and peer pressure, thus thwarting any biological hard-wiring toward survival.)

Or is she still young enough to be biologically incapable of starving herself, at which point I should just trust that she has normally functioning satiety signals?

I ask specifically about my daughter because, as is par for the course in ‘Murica, she received antibiotics immediately after being born, so it’s not a stretch for me to imagine that she could have some kind of gut imbalance that could cause hormone dysregulation with her leptin/ghrelin.

Where you can find us:

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Transcript:

Download a copy of the transcript here (PDF)

Nicki: Don’t. Stop. Stop. We’re rolling.

Robb: We are rolling. What’s up wife?

Nicki: You know, just kind of riding the wave of chaos.

Robb: Indeed. Indeed. So, we’re in the throws of packing, getting ready to move.

Nicki: We had a nice visit from your friend, Steve yesterday.

Robb: Good friend of mine, Steve who… A 20 year military veteran flying a B1 Bomber and I got to hang out with him and we related many stories that we-

Nicki: I only met him once before, him and his wife once before, when Robb and I first met and let’s just say in the few hours that we spent together yesterday, I learned a lot about what you did as a teenager.

Robb: Yeah and most of it was probably incarceration worthy.

Nicki: There were lots of laughs.

Robb: We turned out okay.

Nicki: You guys survived.

Robb: Yep.

Nicki: Somehow.

Robb: Yep. We did. We did.

Nicki: What are you drinking?

Robb: I’m drinking a Salty Palmer, which is a black tea, Lipton ice tea specifically, with a-

Nicki: LMNT Citrus Salt.

Robb: … LMNT Citrus Salt in it and it’s pretty darn good.

Nicki: Really good. Okay.

Robb: Do you want to jump in on this thing?

Nicki: Sure. Let’s jump in. Our first question this week is from Cassandra and Cassandra wrote a very, very lengthy question and I’m just going to read-

Robb: Great detail, but it’s-

Nicki: Really wonderful detail, but I’m just going to read some sections of it. But the main gist of her question is, how do you recommend tackling post workout nutrition for endurance and high intensity sports while on keto? So let’s see here.

Nicki: Okay, so she says, “I think I’m generally fat adapted, but I panic after eight or nine miles sometimes because the old advice of carb bloating always creeps back in and I will suck down a terrible gel or Gatorade because I’ve made the mistake of running these distances under fuel before and it was a painful, painful lesson. I’ve heated your electrolyte advice and I constantly track my sodium, magnesium and potassium levels and take the recommended supplements almost every day. Normally on days with a taxing wad or a workout lasting more than 90 minutes. So what can I eat or drink to keep on the keto train that will help me recover and keep me going on some of these endurance events? Nut butters, whey protein and water. I want to be armed when I take on Vegas this year and not completely derail my eating habits and I’d like to start experimenting with these foods now while I still have time to adjust. Sorry for writing a novel.”

Nicki: So just to fill in some of the details, she has done several half marathons and a marathon and she’s wanting to do another full marathon later this year. The Rock and Roll in Las Vegas

Robb: Mm-hmm (affirmative). Mm-hmm (affirmative) and lots of great detail, so if you guys check out the show notes-

Nicki: We’ll post the full question, yeah.

Robb: … you can kind of dig into that stuff. So what one thing up front, I’m definitely not an endurance coach. We’ve dabbled in that area when we ran the gym, it wasn’t really my area of interests nor expertise. So I’m going to give some general guidelines, but I’m not an endurance coach. That said, one thing that I would recommend is following all the work from Zach Bitter. He has set multiple, I think national and world champion distances, 100 mile races, largely keto fueled, keto carnivore fueled. He drops in some carbs though. He has kind of a strategy around what he does with that. Part of what she related is she feels soreness and difficulty recovering after her hard sessions, in particular when she’s using carbs, interestingly.

Robb: This is one of the interesting things that folks that are in that keto, carnivore space seem to report they just seem to bounce back from workouts better. They don’t seem to get the delayed onset muscle soreness and all that stuff. It’s kind of funny, before we were recording this I was kind of noodling in the shower about how low carb in the context of a higher protein, like keto gain style, ketogenic diet or carnivore diet or even some of the old, original Loren Cordain protein recommendations. Even though it’s low carb technically, because you’re not eating carbohydrate as part of the diet, it’s not necessarily low glycogen.

Robb: The keto scene has gotten all freaked out about gluconeogenesis and being kicked out of ketosis, but this is all still super context driven stuff. For an individual that needs really, legit levels of ketones for say, like neurological condition or for cancer, co-treatment or something like that, then there’s a compelling reason to kind of limit protein.

Robb: But what’s interesting is that, and again I’m going to bounce around like there’s a zillion things I’m thinking about, but Charles Poliquin recommended for people who were not particularly carb sensitive, but doing high intensity training, a pretty high protein, low carb diet and then, supplemental glutamine post-workout because the glutamine was kind of a slow release way of topping off glycogen levels, both in the liver and the muscles. But that didn’t have some of the other side effects potentially of carbs and I know people are going to freak out. It’s like, “Oh, carbs aren’t the devil.” Yeah, they’re not, except when they are.

Robb: For some people like me, who still have some sort of GI problems or what have you, type one diabetics or people that are just tinkering with this stuff, there are other ways of getting reasonably good glycogen repletion, while also still staying in more of that kind of fat adapted world.

Robb: So one thing about this, we have to break this stuff into kind of training nutrition, event nutrition, post recovery nutrition. So during the event, this is definitely where she made the point that she needs to experiment with this stuff and see what’s what’s working. Again, I would kind of pun to what Zach Bitter does, as just kind of a beginning baseline.

Robb: I think that in general, if he’s doing something that’s more in that 100 mile pace, he stays pretty much fat and protein because he’s going to be going at such a gentle pace comparatively because he’s going to run for basically, like two days straight and so he just not going to get glycolytic. So, in that context then, there doesn’t necessarily need to be additional carbs or not much additional carbs to the degree that there might be a lot of elevation change or something like that. Therefore, going anaerobic, getting some glycolysis going on, then we might drop in some type of carb.

Robb: Again, you just have to play around with that stuff to see what sits well with gastric emptying and all that type of stuff. I feel like I’m just kind of bouncing around here, but it’s interesting. So, she also mentions that in the past, she was kind of worried at some point and this is where I think doing some training runs that are on the longer side and to establish like, how do you do? So she said that she panics after eight or nine miles sometimes. So there should probably be some like 12 or 15 mile runs consistently within the training block where you pressure test. It’s like, how do you feel at mile 10 through 15 with a particular type of training without necessarily doing a goo or something like that?

Robb: Even that said, there are a lot of people in the low carb space that, over the course of a day of activity like this, they may consume two or 300 grams of carbs on that day, which is still quite a bit less than what most other people are doing. But this is where there’s just a massive amount of individual variation. Again, I’m just not the most knowledgeable person on that side of things.

Robb: So, the takeaways, we don’t necessarily need to just cater towards ketosis. Don’t think about it being ketosis. Think about it being performance fueling. It may be on the lower carb side, it may be on the higher carb side. Even if it’s on the lower carb side, if our protein intake is higher, it doesn’t necessarily mean low glycogen for the body. So that can have all kinds of ramifications for recovery and nutrient intake.

Nicki: She definitely needs to make sure she’s not skimping on the protein.

Robb: Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. The one caveat with that and this is where it gets really detailed, in event training, you may be, particularly if water may be a little bit limited or what have you, higher protein intake requires more water to deal with the ammonia load that’s coming out of that. But you don’t necessarily want to go super low protein because you will burn through all your branched-chain amino acids and then, tryptophan levels raise. The person will be running along and they get sleepy and they’ll literally, fall asleep and it happens a lot on a bicycle, mid run or at a minimum you lose some of that kind of motivation because you’re getting sleepy.

Robb: So this is some of the stuff again, that folks just have to play with. Like what protein level keeps you mentally alert? Because you don’t have enough branched-chain amino acids in the mix. Some people use of branched-chain amino acids as part of their training mix and stuff like that. But this is again where, it’s just super outside of my-

Nicki: Wheelhouse.

Robb: … Yeah, my wheelhouse. But those are some kind of big, broad brush strokes to consider when you’re doing this stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see here. Next question is from Ben. Should I add fat to my whey protein shake? Ben says, “Hi, I love the podcast. I’m one of the six listeners. Here is my question. I’m wondering if the insulin spike from a post workout whey shake can stall my weight loss? Should I add fat, like heavy cream or coconut milk to the shake to blunt the insulin response? And if yes, how much or am I unable to burn that fat because of the spike insulin storing it as body fat instead? Thank you so much and best wishes from Munich, Germany.”

Robb: Man. So, whenever I see someone who’s… So clearly, I would read between the lines here, that the goal is fat loss, right? If you’re in a fat loss mode, you don’t need a shake. You just don’t. You need to chew food. Three meals a day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, possibly a snack. I rarely have a snack. I eat two, sometimes three meals a day. It just kind of depends, but you don’t need a snack and you really don’t need the shake as a baseline.

Robb: That’s not really answering the question, but we noticed this within our gym based practice and I kind of felt like… And I would have all kinds of people, like Spencer Nadolsky, who are like, “Oh, shakes aren’t the devil and everything.” But I just saw people spin out and they would go from eating pretty well and then, do liquid food. Then they were hungry and then, they would end up overeating pretty consistently.

Robb: Then I started hanging out with Tyler and Luis and really watched the way that they handled things within the keto gains group and man, they could’ve made a mint linking wagons with some protein company and recommending that. Just their ethics are so sound that, what they noticed was that people who are really legitimately struggling with weight loss don’t do well with liquid food, don’t do well with shakes. They need to eat unprocessed food for the most part.

Robb: So Ben, I would one… It kind of becomes a nonissue. If we get people eating whole and processed food, it’s not really going to be a problem. That said, in the context of eating beef or whey protein and the subsequent insulin response from that, it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, whether or not that’s going to influence fat loss overall. That’s still going to be driven by total caloric load, ultimately.

Robb: Some of the things mixed into that, if we get… Like in some people, and this is where some people will tolerate more or fewer carbs. If we get a disproportionate insulin response to carbohydrates and we get a low blood sugar environment, then people are going to tend to want to eat more food. We tend to not see this when the insulin response is from protein.

Robb: And this is another piece that’s kind of interesting when people talk about bodybuilding or recovery. Proteins do release insulin and so, you’re not necessarily always in a completely low insulin environment, even though you’re eating low carb. This gets born out, when you see the flip side of the crazy keto scene, where people are limiting protein intake because they’re freaked out about the insulin response to this whole thing.

Robb: So I know that’s kind of all over the place. But Ben, I would definitely ditch the shake and once you get to a level of leanness that is fantastic and you’re training like absolute crazy, such that three meals a day don’t work then…

Nicki: Then have the shake.

Robb: … dump a shake in. I wish that shakes did as well as real food but they just don’t. It’s another one of these things where we’ve really never recommended shakes. Here and there-

Nicki: Specific situations.

Robb: Yes. Specific situations. Yeah, so I think I beat that one to death.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is from James on portal circulation and leaky gut. “Hi Robb. Thanks for your detailed answer to my question about sun exposure in QA number seven. Following your book recommendations in QA number six, I hungrily delved into the lecture notes on human metabolism. Thanks Nicki. And within the first chapter, I encountered some information that gave me reason to pause. The portal circulation, I’m certain that you can provide a more accurate and concise explanation of the system to your listeners than I can in this question, so I’ll leave that to you if that’s okay.

Nicki: My question is, given that all blood and therefore, solutes from the intestines are drained through the portal vein and through the liver, filtering out excess substrates and removing toxins, such as ammonia from the blood before it enters general circulation, how can leaky gut have such a damaging effect on the body? It seems to me that the liver is a vital backstop in this process, which was never mentioned, when functional medicine practitioners talk about leaky gut. They give the impression that blood drains from the intestines straight into the cardiovascular circulation and these fuel substrates are clinking around in our arteries causing inflammation, which seems not to be the case.

Nicki: Also, how does this impact the gut hypothesis of heart disease? Highly simplified here, where endotoxins is said to pass through the mucosal membrane into circulation, binding with LDL cholesterol, being attacked and immobilized by immune cells and ultimately, ending up being sequestered into an arterial plaque because the immune system cannot destroy cholesterol or unbind the endotoxin from it. With the portal circulation not removed, this endotoxin from the blood before it enters cardiovascular circulation and meets LDL particles. Is this disease process driven not only by a compromised intestinal lining but also by inefficient liver function? Thank you for your time. Really appreciate your input.”

Robb: That’s a great question and this is kind of, definitely before, oh, one question. This is kind of-

Nicki: Super advanced.

Robb: … Chris Masterjohn area. Usually, he’s the one that delves into stuff like this, but it’s a fantastic question. So for people that aren’t familiar with this, the portal circulation is the kind of circulatory loop that drains the gut and goes, as what James said, largely to liver and we do get it… This is where chylomicrons, the packages of lipids are unstitched and reshuffled and put into triglycerides and into lipoproteins. Proteins are kind of sorted and shuffle. Carbohydrates are stored at least, in part, in the liver. Then also throughout the rest of the body and that’s actually, a great example of this LPS story that James is alluding to.

Robb: What he’s asking here is a great question. In this leaky gut story, there’s this discussion around lipopolysaccharide, which is kind of the cellular identification matrix around bacteria and this stuff is incredibly inflammatory in all vertebrates. It sends the vertebrate immune system into kind of an overdrive response. But James, if we just subbed out LPS for carbohydrate, this pretty much answers the story.

Robb: So although dietary carbohydrate fills some, potentially all of the liver glycogen, there’s virtually always more that goes to the rest of the body. So although it removes some, it does not remove all. In the case of this LPS story in general, the liver should be effective. The liver in conjunction with the lipoproteins, the lipoproteins like LDL lipoproteins, LDL cholesterol, HDL cholesterol, these things bond to LPS and it tends to help in the detoxification of this substance. But if we have more LPS than what we’re really able to deal with-

Nicki: The liver handles some and the rest-

Robb: The liver handles some and then, we get the the spillover and that’s one piece of the story. Another piece of the story is that a lot of the lipid containing substances don’t go directly into the portal system. It goes into the lymphatic system and the lymphatic system then dumps in right around the aorta.

Robb: So it does make it into general circulation without going through the liver first. So that one year of medical school anatomy actually pays off every once in a while. So, this is a great question though. There are kind of two directions that the LPS story gets around the liver.

Robb: The first one is that there may just be more occurring than what the liver can reasonably detoxifying. Then the other part is the lipid constituents that end up in the lymphatic system, also end up dumped into general circulation, do ultimately make it into the liver, but that’s another spot where this stuff ends up.

Robb: Yeah, but a really good question. Lecture Notes on Human Metabolism is just an outstanding book. Really, really good. It was oriented for individuals heading towards medical school. So it was kind of, an end of their senior year. Like how to pull all the biochemistry, cellular biology, vertebrate physiology all together and make some sense of it. The MD-PhD who put that book together, he oriented a bunch of pharmaceuticals into it. He talked about statins, he talked about blood pressure mentally. It’s really an outstanding book, yeah.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our next question is on phytic acid from Joseph. “Is phytic acid harmful or of benefit? Is it really necessary to jump through the hoops of soaking and sprouting before consuming nuts and seeds?”

Robb: What do you think on this wife? What’s your gut sense?

Nicki: A lot of people do find benefit when they soak and sprout.

Robb: For sure and I would throw this under the, it depends category. So phytates and even… Gosh, there’s this stuff out of rice, I want to say. Ip-6, which is kind of one of these bonding chemicals, kind of a culation type chemicals. They can be beneficial in some circumstances and they can be a bastard in other circumstances. Georgia Ede who is a psychiatrist and really incredibly knowledgeable on this stuff, has some great studies where individuals would eat something like oysters, which are very high in zinc, and you would quantify the amount of zinc in the oysters. Then the person would consume it and they would actually do some plasma zinc analysis. So they can show, “Okay, the before oyster, plasma zinc was here and post-oyster plasma…” So it’s showing that you’re absorbing it or it’s magically appearing in your bloodstream, one or the other.

Robb: Then she showed eating the same oyster meal, but with either say, fruit or corn tortillas. The fruit does not have phytates in it. The corn tortillas have quite a lot and the corn tortillas, plus the zinc source, basically made the zinc absorption zero. I mean, it just gutted it.

Robb: So this is one of these things that’s really interesting and in looking at a lot of the Weston A. Price stuff, traditional cultures bent over backwards to soak and sprout and ferment and process grains, legumes and even dairy, for the most part. So, I think that there was some really good wisdom to all that. It kind of dovetails around on another piece around this kind of emerging story around the carnivore concept and whatnot and I could make a case that… How do I want to say this?

Robb: The amount of plant material that we eat is allowable only up to the point that it displaces animal products. At some point the overconsumption of plant material could potentially cause nutrient depletion. I know this is going to be a super controversial topic, but when you look at, let’s say just things like spinach, they may contain different nutrients that may be valuable and they may look like they’re in a large amount, particularly from a nutrient density standpoint, like a percentage of folate per calorie. But the thing is, the plant based materials are not that absorbable and oftentimes have constituents in them, like phytates that are antagonistic towards their absorption.

Robb: These things can also interfere with… They’re basically protease inhibitors, so they inhibit the ability to break down protein, both plant and animal protein. So again, how important is it? I think it boils down a little bit to individual situations. But I think to the degree that people can get away with not doing this, is reflective of all the other right stuff they’re doing. Also, I think that you’re just kind of beating your system a little bit. Like there’s some pressure testing that’s occurring there.

Robb: So, if you’re going to do bread, I would do something like Ezekiel bread that’s been soaked and sprouted and all that type of stuff. A lot of people are finding these ancient grains, like the Einhorn wheat and then soaking, sprouting, doing the sourdough mix that that helps to break down the gluten and all that stuff. Although there’s some great literature indicating that not a lot of celiacs still react to the Einhorn wheat, even after it’s gone through all of that stuff.

Robb: I’ll be completely honest, even though the Weston A. Price stuff is pretty cool, I think that this is still why a lot of people are pretty fucked up in that scene. Because they’re just logistically dogmatic about having these foods and they don’t realize that even some pastured dairy may be problematic for some people. Yeah. Yeah.

Robb: So, it’s super context driven, and this is again, where if somebody has general problems or they’re just wanting to ask a question, if they may be grain, dairy or legume reactive, pull them out for 30 days, reintroduce and see how you do. But I would say that to the degree, that you process these things with these traditional methods. It’s definitely going to improve the nutrient value of those foods and it’s going to decrease the likelihood of damaging the nutrient value of other foods.

Nicki: Okay. Let’s see. Our final question this week is from Rory. He wants to know about a caloric estimate for young children. Rory says, “Is there an estimate for calories per pound when it comes to feeding my almost three year old or any child for that matter, say from two to 12? The teen years of course, make marking the onset of self-consciousness and peer pressure, thus thwarting any biological hard-wiring towards survival or is she still young enough to be biologically incapable of starving herself? At which point, I should just trust that she has a normally functioning, satiety signals? I ask specifically, about my daughter because as is par for the course in America, she received antibiotics immediately after being born. So it’s not a stretch for me to imagine that she could have some kind of gut imbalance that could cause hormone dysregulation with her leptin and ghrelin.”

Robb: Good question, but my gut sense is, Rory’s probably being a little too worried about this. Also, I don’t know how early… How old did she say?

Nicki: Three.

Robb: She said she’s three.

Nicki: Almost three.

Robb: Okay. I mean, I know there are some benchmarks out there. I think it’s something like 16 or 18 calories per pound or maybe it’s 20 calories per pound. I forget off the top of my head, but it’s a lot of calories generally. But even if you know this, then it’s like you’re going to weigh and measure their food and then, you need to weigh and measure what they didn’t eat and you need to separate out the protein, carbs, fat.

Nicki: That’s a lot of work.

Robb: It’s a lot of fucking work. The risk-reward deal, I just don’t see. Yeah.

Nicki: I think you feed them and they eat until they’re-

Robb: Full.

Nicki: … full. Especially if you’re feeding him unprocessed, real foods, they’re not going to overeat.

Robb: Right and they will generally not under eat and also, kids tend to cycle.

Nicki: They do cycle, yeah.

Robb: Zoe and Sagan, it’s funny. We don’t have a pool, but our friend has a pool and we’ve been taking them swimming. On the days when they swim, they don’t really eat that much and you’re like, “Man, they should be really hungry.” But then I tell you what, the next day, they eat everything that’s not nailed down. They just don’t want to get out of the water. So they might have an Epic bar or something like that and just kind of a little snack here and there. But they’re so excited to swim that they won’t get out and they might do a half decent dinner. But then oftentimes, they are so smoked by the end of the day of swimming. I mean, like six hours of swimming. There in the sun and all the rest of that. They don’t even really eat that much. They’re almost passing out at the table.

Robb: But then, the next day they get up and they eat everything. Which I think is a really… that’s a great… In general, kids tend to do a really good job with that. I think that this is something that, over the course of time because of my kind of power lifting background, for ages, I just kind of over ate because I felt like I needed to eat more. I finally, at almost 50, have gotten to a spot where it’s like, if I just kind of sit on my duff all day, I don’t need that much food. Then on the day where I’m real active, I may lift weights and do two hours of Jujitsu, I eat a lot of food that day and then, maybe even the following day I’m like, “Man, I’m pretty hungry.” So I end up eating more.

Robb: If we’re not eating odd foods, I think that the appetite control mechanisms are very well in place and I wouldn’t worry about a round of antibiotics displacing that stuff. It’s a great question to ask, but I wouldn’t be overly concerned about that. Anything else as a mom to cap that off?

Nicki: I don’t think so. I think it is cyclic. I mean, I think that’s fairly normal, where one day they might eat a ton and the next day it tapers off a bit. She’s not going to starve herself.

Robb: Nope. Nope. The thing that we do, we kind of make it a speed bump method. We really kind of hold the kid’s feet to the fire. It’s like, you got eat your protein and then, if you want some more of this other stuff, then we kind of open it up and that works. That works fine.

Robb: We have noticed, even within the two kids, if Sagan in particular, who seems to kind of take after me a little bit more, at least in some ways, if she doesn’t get enough protein, that kid gets cranky, real cranky. It’s just like a switch just flips and then, she’ll eat and she’s good. I think she ends up potentially, getting a little bit of these kind of blood sugar changes, if she’s not getting enough protein. So, you’ll notice a little bit of variability on that.

Robb: Whereas, I think Zoe is a little bit more like you and just a little more even keel, with regards to… She’ll eat a lot of protein, but even if she doesn’t, it doesn’t seem to affect her quite the same way. But Sagan’s also going through growth spurt, so I don’t know how much of that’s going on.

Nicki: She’s sleeping like 15 hours at night.

Robb: Yeah. Yeah and she’s just been sprouting. So that’s a whole other crazy thing to this and it’s been funny all the way along. Now that the girls are basically seven and five, the changes aren’t quite as dramatic. Maybe up to about three years old, maybe four years old, it feels like every time you kind of get dialed in on one sequence, then they change and you’ve got to rejigger things. But they still change over time and for sure right now, Sagan is growing a lot, sleeping a lot and we noticed that if she doesn’t eat well, she will get some cranky McCrankerkins going on. Yeah.

Nicki: Yeah. I think that’s a wrap for this week.

Robb: Yep. Yep. Thank you guys for the awesome questions. Enjoyed doing this, as always. Most of my activity, at least for a while, is still over at Instagram @dasrobbwolf. This episode brought to you by…

Nicki: Drink LMNT, LMNT Recharge and hope you guys are all having a great and safe summer.

Robb: We’ll talk to you guys soon. Take care.

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maychorian · 8 years

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Alphabet Game

tagged by @butteredonions and @rangergirl3 so I guess I should do it, haha.

A - age: 33. The age both Jesus and Alexander the Great died. But I’m doing fine!

b - either centipedes or failure: I’m okay with centipedes. I’m the girl who can kill spiders with a flip-flop while all the other girls are yelling and running. One time a spider fell on the open Bible in my lap in church (from the high, high ceiling above, no idea how it got there), and I just brushed off on the floor. If it had landed on one of the girls on either side of me there would have been screaming in the middle of the sermon.

c - current time: 8:13 pm.

d - drink I last had: Orange Zevia

e - every day starts with: Open my eyes, check my email for comments on AO3. Yes, I am pathetic.

f - favorite song: uhhhhh. It changes often. Don’t really have one right now. Most recent favorite song that I listened to over and over and over was Glitter and Gold by Barns Courtney.

g - ghosts. Are they real?: I believe in the spirit and the soul. Don’t necessarily believe that they hang around on Earth.

h - hometown: Small town in Amish country.

i - in love with: Lance “Sharpshooter” Blue Lion. Yes, that’s his full name.

j - jealous of: Nothing, really. My life is good. Maybe lottery winners. I would just stay home and write all day.

k - killed someone: Do spiders count? Not a person, but I’ve definitely caused death in the animal kingdom.

l - last time I cried: From something that wasn’t a TV show, movie, or fic? Someone sent me a very sincere, heartfelt message about how the Boom Crash series encouraged them to fight their depression and get the therapy they needed. That is just...beyond amazing. I’m so blessed to be able to have that effect on people.

m - middle name: Beth. Same middle name as my mom and maternal grandma. Right now it doesn’t look like kids are in the cards for me, though, so the tradition is probably gonna stop here.

n - number of siblings: Seven, all younger! I love ‘em to death.

o - one wish: For people to listen to each other and escape the daily propaganda.

p - person you last called/texted: My younger brother, asking him to pick up sugar-free chocolate bars for me at Trader Joe’s. There’s no Trader Joe’s in my city, but there is one where he lives, so I asked him to stop for me next time he came home to visit. He’s home now. :)

q - questions you’re always asked: It’s surprising how often people ask me how much weight I’ve lost.

r - reasons to smile: NEW VOLTRON CONTENT COMING SOON. NEW SEASON IN SEPTEMBER. BURGER KING IS GONNA HAVE A CROSS-PROMOTION SO I’LL PROBABLY BE ABLE TO GET SOME TOYS.

s - song last sang: I usually come in the door singing whatever was on the radio on my drive home. I forget what it was this time.

t - time I woke up: It’s Saturday, so nine-ish.

u - underwear color: Gray today.

v - vacation destination: Can’t think of one. I like to stay at home and play around. I want to go back to Washington DC though and visit all the Smithsonians, since the one time I went I only time for the Air and Space Musuem. (Which was amazing, btw, highly recommend. I spent a lot of time thinking about Shiro though.)

w - worst habit: I’m thirty-three and I still bite my fingernails.

x - x-rays you’ve had: When I was a teenager I started having a sharp pain in my ribcage that we thought might be a gallbladder problem, since several relatives had theirs out. I did the thing where I drank a solution to let them trace things in my body and they took an x-ray. It was a bruised rib from my brother throwing an apple at me.

y - your favorite food: I love love LOVE stuffing jalapenos with cream cheese, cheddar and a little hot sauce, then putting a par-cooked piece of bacon on top and baking them in the oven. Low carb jalapeno poppers without breading or deep frying. I have some jalapenos in the fridge right now. I make it at least once a week.

z - zodiac sign: Cancer.

Not tagging anyone, but feel free if you want to!

#tag meme #life #personal

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aikainkauna · 8 years

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Five things meme thing

Christ, I’m bored and probably suicidally stupid to post ANYTHING personal on this website but fuckit. Too bored. Here you go.

Five things in my bag:

This would be a rucksack.

-A red folder with all kinds of medical texts from my various illnesses, so I have them on hand if a doctor/nurse/disabled services social worker wants to look. They often do.

-Ginger candy (I prefer the Indonesian Ting Ting Jahe brand, the ones with the checquered ends on the wrappers). I'm not a candy person and extremely intolerant to carbs, but they're for nausea and one has only 3 g of carbs. Nausea happens often with my medications and also saves me from passing out if I have to have a blood test taken--I have a neurological glitch where I'm hypersensitive to touch and feel pain approximately 1392579515893 times more intensely than most people and I can go unconscious from pain with blood tests, gyn visits etc. so that stuff comes in handy. The touch sensitivity is only useful during sex...

-A packet of Amma's Rose incense sticks. As much as I want to support her charities, the incenses from her ashram aren't that great. They're not bad-smelling or anything, but not what I want from incense either; I've had better (usually prefer good old Auroshikha). The scent is pleasant when not burned, so I keep a packet in my rucksack for the fragrance.

-Splenda tablets, imported from the UK. You can't get sucralose here as tabletop sweetener for some reason (even if it can't be banned since I have seen it listed as a sweetener in squash etc.), and I way prefer it to the metallic-tasting Hermesetas that's usually the only available non-carby sweetener in cafes and restaurants. Or worse, fucking stevia (yeah, I really like that sickening aftertaste that lasts TWO DAYS from just one cup of coffee). Splenda is basically the only sweetener that doesn't taste awful to my mouth.

-Painkillers and benzos for emergencies.

Five things in my bedroom

-8 framed pictures/posters/prints of Conrad Veidt. Mostly Jaffar, but there's one Torsten, one Baroudi and that goddamn lounging-seductively-onna-sofa sex panther postcard. I still look at Jaffar's eyes every day and cry out "HOW?!?" and the Jaffar/Pwinzezz onna ship poster facing my bed is great for looking at during a fap if I have trouble focusing on the visuals of my fantasy.

-An old spice rack, probably Russian because it's too pretty to be Finnish, that now serves as a cabinet for my essential oils and attars. The rack has little colourful tealights and pictures of Shiva, the triple Devi, Krishna hugged by Yasoda, Kali's yantra blessed by Amma, and Ganesha on it (my proper altar is in the living room, but I like to keep my homies close) and a little red lantern dangling from it. Peacock feathers also dangle from it.

-Aromatherapy lamp/diffuser thing on my windowsill with more tealights and my most-used essential oil bottles (camphor, rosemary, patchouli, rose, jasmine, ylang ylang, eucalyptus, star anise) beside it because fuck getting them from the cabinet several times a day.

-Many pillows and cushions on the bed. I only sleep with one, but I use the rest for supporting my bent left leg when I'm wanking. Feels way better when I can keep at least one of my legs up-ish to add pressure/muscle tone to/tighten my vag. It's not that I'm loose down there (smaller than average, actually, which gives my gyn and my sex toy reviewing contact woman problems when we have to figure out how to and what can reach the deepest/best spots down there), but bloody hell, the pillow lift feels different. You wouldn't think it made much of a difference, but whenever I have to fap in a bed without support for at least one leg (or am being done by a guy!), I definitely notice it. ("What are you doing, building a pillow fort?" "Feels better for both of us if I get just one more cushion... hang on...")

-Noki's urn on my bedside table. It has a little holder for a tealight on the top, and I light a candle there for her every day. When I light the candle, I kiss the urn and say "Hello, Floofen." It's the phrase @versaphile always used whenever she saw Noki during our video chats, and when I first showed her the urn and was crying my eyes out (funnily enough, I am crying now), she just exclaimed "Hello, Floofen!" and it was just so warm and wonderful--and exactly what I needed to hear, then. So now I say it every time. And when the candle goes out, I say to myself and/or Dolores: "Noki's gone to sleep." (And Doli has just showed up. Sadly, I don't think she's one of those cats who picks up on human emotions and comes to comfort us when we're sad, though. She probably just wants noms or entertainment, as usual, but it's a nice coincidence anyway.)

Five things I've always wanted to do

Christ, thinking of these makes me depressed because these always involve... people and things that can go wrong. So I try not to have dreams about things, because it's nigh impossible for anything to feel perfect for me. And then I get deeply upset. My brain's just not wired for that kind of thing. But let's try.

-If not find a good male lover, at least afford a really fucking good daddy dom escort who can give me a proper hard thrashing and fucking. A really good, hard seeing-to from time to time. But to be perfect or even satisfying, he (and anyone else/everyone else sleeping with me) would have to be fucking psychic, so no can do. Jaffar's always going to be better. It's always Jaffar.

-Speaking of which, go visit Connie's urn again.

-...no, really, I just keep getting depressed. Therapy taught me not to do goals because of this kind of thing. I will keep my bar low so as not to slit my wrists. Like, I feel that even if I said "I want to have a nice cuppa in a minute," I'd break the mug and burn my legs from scalding tea. So let's move on.

Five things that make me happy

-Wanking. The fantasy worlds, when I really get going, are immensely complex and detailed and emotionally deeply satisfying and spiritual and wonderful. If I don't get to wank, I will lose all love, all happiness, all creativity. So that has to be the number one essential thing for not only my happiness but my sanity. And this is why I hate the (male-centric, body-centric) idea that wanking is just some pathetic rub to release pressure, or that sex=the physical act, with another person. When it's everything but that for women (biologically, not gender-essentialistily speaking) since our arousal is always dependant on the mental/emotional (which is why women read/write erotica rather than just watch porn because we want to be and need to be in the *mental* state of the characters, and that's only possible via text/imagination--and why it's fanfic in particular: we already have an emotional response to the characters. So this weird, deeply misguided trend to call that part of sexuality that’s between the ears, and all kinds of perfectly normal female sexuality "asexuality" is utter misogynist blasphemy for me--to call the *essence* of sex itself a lack of sex, just because nobody fucking asked how *women* processed sex, just some guy to whom it was all about dick in pussy! Jesus, the mental aspect is how vaginas *work!* And of course I prefer fic and wanking to “real” sex because the culture of masculinity tries to eradicate from men the very thing women need--emotional stimuli, sensitivity and empathy! How about we call the culture of defining sex through rub of flesh on flesh only not real sexuality at all because it omits emotion and humanity? How about that?)

So, yeah, wanking. It most definitely is the greatest mental, spiritual, creative pleasure for me. That's the life force, creation, poetry for me--there would not be fic, passion, fangirling for me. Take it away and I have nothing, and you will not have me.

-The whole wanking thing is so entwined with my writing that I feel like I shouldn’t mention writing separately? It’s the same creative process of the erotic. But I have so few things that make me happy that I guess I should say something like “being in full flow when the text just comes out and I’m swimming in happy OTP/unf/aaaahthespiritualinsights” feelings.

-Conrad Veidt. And his stupid fucking panther face. And his stupid fucking lady hips of infinite slink. And his eyes of vertignious skies. Etc. But that’s not separate from the above either.

-When people actually come and talk to me in my fic comments on Ao3. Honestly. Getting to have a good chat with someone who enjoyed my story basically makes my entire day. I might have woken up being completely miserable physically and/or mentally, but then checked my email and--A PERSON! ANOTHER HUMAN BEING! SOMEONE I HAVE TOUCHED THROUGH MY FIC! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! That sense of human connection (especially to someone who has no local friends and never gets out of the house) is wonderful. Especially when it’s through, well, the best and deepest and most essential part of myself--the creative/erotic/history-nerdy/spiritual/pervert/geek part. The outer world sees the frumpy gothy cat lady and doesn’t bother, but you’re talking straight to my soul there, meine sveet. So, yes, it is very happymaking indeed, and more than that. It tells me that I have indeed done something to make the world less shitty a place.

-Honestly, there are so few things... IDK, the satisfaction of having sorted various RL things out, having Adulted successfully. Having enough money to get my prescriptions out, having a fridge full of food and having fed the cat and not being in too much pain, and being able to do something creative. If all those things happen during one day, it’s a supermega-rare day of awesomeness.

Five things I'm currently into

-Conrad Veidt

-Sleeping

Five things on my to-do list

-Have to nip down to the shops on my own today. In fact, it’s exactly why I am memeing--I am at once trying to wake up but also being avoidant. Aaaarrrgh. But it’s an emergency because I am running out of caffeinated beverages.

-Must send a list of synopses of all my programme items at Redemption ‘17 to Big Dave. No, I have not forgotten. Just been fucking knackered and avoidant and the con stress is crushing me. I really don’t envy those of you on the committee who are doing the REALLY hard work.

-Actually prep those programme items properly. A taste of what’s to come and why you all should come to the convention because it’s awesome:

Talk: Queering Up Het because of course you need the guy in a dress and with a strap-on up his arse while the chick goes down on another chick, talk: Villains as Liberators in fanfic, het romance in particular and what they can give to fangirls/the heroines because they’re the Other and as such, less patriarchally shitty, history item: reading out shittons of OLD PORN FROM HISTORY with @coolserpentina (she’s doing Aretino; I’m doing Abu Nuwas), panels: some swashbuckling/Old Hollywood stuff where Big Dave and I and hopefully @filmforfancy talk about OH as a slash fucking goldmine and also Basil Rathbone’s horsecock fencing skillz, and some other stuff which I’ve forgotten and my head’s exploding already.

-Remember to buy basil today. I am out of basil. I have to just, like, draw a huge conk on a piece of paper to remind me. I fucking know I’m going to forget the basil.

-Ring the damn Social Insurance Institute to find out what the fuck’s up with my disabled housing allowance. I think they’re closed down for today. And I’ll be asleep during office hours for the rest of the week. Fuck.

Five things people may not know about me

-I actually keep a list somewhere to answer THIS EXACT QUESTION on all these memes, because whenever I’m asked these, I always struggle to come up with weird random facts. And then I remember several when I’m not memeing. And guess what? I’ve lost the sodding note. *face in hands, groaning*

1. I own an oversized dildo called Ainley and used to own a big German vibrator called Heinrich (Strasser), but he died. I also have a buttplug called Claude Rains. He's very small but very powerful and leaves you gasping and very satisfied after his performances. But I think you might already know this about me.

2. Well, most of you on here probably won’t know what the fuck about my various illnesses, but Non-24 is one of the three most debilitating ones. You go to sleep one hour later each night and wake up one hour later (most people have the form where your day is a 25-hour one instead of 24 hours) and you basically cycle through an entire day in a month’s time (at the beginning of the month you woke up at 4 AM, then 5 AM, 6 AM etc. and once a month’s passed, you’re waking up at 4 AM again). There’s no way of fixing the ever-sliding sleeping rhythm, not even with the strongest of knockout pills they gave to psychosis sufferers and believe you me, N24 sufferers have *tried everything*. And you’re always in a state of extreme exhaustion and jet lag, comparable to the level of fatigue narcolepsy sufferers have. So it’s a major pain in the arse whenever I try to schedule anything, whether it’s doctors’ appointments or chats with friends, because I literally don’t know when I will be awake on Thursday next week (because forced awakenings to go out and do stuff combined with poor quality of sleep, sometimes only getting 3 hours of sleep a night, complicate the rhythm even further). And whenever it’s one of those miraculous days on which I’ve slept enough to process fic, I *will* be ficcing, lest I go fucking nuts, so I will most definitely not be sacrificing my rare chances to be happy and fulfilled to anything else. (Even Important Adult RL stuff, if it can be put off, because my sanity’s more important.) I might also actually have narcolepsy on top of that, but they haven’t prodded me enough to find out yet. So. Yeah. I’m always fucking knackered and that’s why my sense of humour and sex drive are what they are--they’re all linked in that one part of the frontal lobe, so you get a person who’s constantly fucking exhausted AND constantly getting cracky ideas brought on by sleep deprivation AND who’s constantly horny. Basically, I should have married an anaesthetist.

3. ...I think that this year, I will have been writing fanfic for 20 years (if calculated from the time I encountered actual fanficcing culture and started to take part in it). And I feel ancient. And still slip into fucking badfic. OTOH, I’ve only written longfic since 2012 or so. Thanks to that dead German arsehole.

4. I own only two pairs of what you could vaguely call trousers. One pair is made of leather and one is just a pair of slacks. Whenever I wear them, I feel like I'm in drag. I'm way more comfortable in big flouncy skirts because they don't bind my hips/thighs/legs or ride up my crotch. And several layers of skirts are much, much warmer in the winter than several layers of tights/leggings/jeans or something. And with my chronic pelvic/back pain and limited mobility, ease of movement is essential. Fuck trousers, basically.

5. There should probably be something more interesting here, but I do have to go to the shops and I’ll just leave you with this: I’m hypermobile, which makes me able to scratch my ear with my toes, but also means I sprain everything all the time, adding to all the other funky pains I’ve got all over anyway. I can tie myself into a knot even without regular yoga exercise (this is another superpower of suck that’s only useful during sex), but it also means motherfucking sciatica every time I leave the house. I sometimes even count the amount of steps I manage to take outside the house before something in my back goes *crunch* and the sciatic nerve gets trapped and each step on whatever foot’s side it happened on will be one lancing lash of pain. Yay!

So, you know. This is why I don’t meme often and publicly because it just becomes a list of my illnesses. And I find that annoying because often it just gets in the way of what people know about me--they just see the sick woman. So I’d much rather focus on what’s on the inside--the porning and the poetry and all the creative, *pleasant* stuff. I’ve got a lot to escape from, so that’s why I escape and fucking hard. So I hope that escapism in the form of fics and pics and godawful tags will help others escape as well. I know how you feel and all that.

And now I’ve got to go and buy that horseco--I mean basil.

#meme #personal #about me #sorry for a lack of pictures the shops close in an hour and i've got to dash

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