#yes I calorie count
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Fingers are super crossed that my doctors appointment goes well this week 🤞🏻
Really hoping for an Ozempic/Wegovy prescription (whichever my insurance will approve) and to upgrade to a Freestyle Libre 3 prescription 🤞🏻
I’m truly just so defeated with my health & my body at this point.
#it’s been such a rough year and a half#my body is literally a mess#and if you know me you know I exercise almost daily#and I eat pretty dang well#I just can’t get this under control#I just want to be healthy again#yes I’m low ish carb#yes I focus on protein#yes I walk just about daily#yes I calorie count#I’ve lost a lot of weight before and it was NEVER like this#me#girls with red hair#girls#chest tattoo
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wine: breakfast of champions
#it’s 2pm but whatever lol that could still count as like a brunch#but not drinking alone this time; am out with my parents (yes the social life’s booming)#so it’s fine actually#I did allude to having eaten beforehand but like didnt#bc we’ll go eat dinner also so like those are some big calories there#this too should stay as a draft but alas send post
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Hey Mx. H, question:
What’s your favourite part of the human body to eat? I’m very curious :p
(Also OOC- you’re cool have this 🫴🏻🌹)
IT DEPENDS...
FOR ACTUAL FOOD, FOR MEANINGFUL NUTRITIONAL QUALITY... I FIND THE THIGHS, UPPER ARMS, OR ORGANS (ESPECIALLY THE LIVER OR LUNGS) TO BE BEST...
HOWEVER, I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS A ROMANTIC...
SO I READILY ADMIT THAT MY FAVORITE PART FOR A... PERSONAL DINING EXPERIENCE IS PROBABLY THE HEART.
IT CAN BE SO BEAUTIFULLY CARVED OUT TOO... WHERE YOU CAN KEEP THEM ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO WATCH THEM REALIZE WHAT YOUR GOAL IS... YOU CAN FEEL THEIR PULSE SPEED UP AS YOU GET CLOSER TO REMOVING IT FROM ITS CAGE...
IT'S INTOXICATING.
[ REGARDS, HABIT ]
(( gwahhh- thank you for saying you think I'm cool!!!! :'DDD I'm really not, I'm just a goober. And thank you for the digital rose!!! *I left a rose. /ref* sorry btw if this ask is really triggering in any ways to anyone... cannibalism is bad but so fascinating to hear about. :']] I'm weird so I know a lot about it. ))
#HABIT speaks 🐇 ☠️#habit emh ask blog#habit rp blog#answered asks#ask response#( ooc > )#cw caps#cw cannibalism#cw gore#cw murder#cw blood#cw death#not me having to actually recall my knowledge of cannibalism-#i know too much aboht the calorie and nutritional value of various parts of the human body#i was a very abnormal and curious kid#i memorize a lot of facts and most of them would be considered “dark”#i hold onto the “dark” stuff the most...#i know too much stuff#for all legal reasons ALL PURPLE TEXT IS IN CHARACTER.#why do i know so much about cannibalism? simple. i had no safety restrictions and was overly curious#i could get answers to whatever weird dark little questions popped into my mind#and i memorized most of them.#so... yes. all of that is true. the liver is the most nutrious part of the body#the thighs shins and upper arms have the best caloric counts#lungs also have high caloric counts. i am unsure of nutritional value#also ooooh mx??? I've never been referrednto with mx!! i like it! but also use mr! i only don't use ms.#also... ah yes... my first cannibalism ask. 💜
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“what i eat in a week”. i don’t care. as long as you were happy with it.
#youtube thumbnails#be like#‘what i eat in a week’ over a photo of a bowl with so little food it can barely feed a bird#yeah sure ok whatever#im so sick of diet culture and counting calories#like yes to moderation but you can’t live weighing your food till the rest of your days#sometimes you gotta live and by sometimes i mean all of the times#food mention#food#eating habits
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the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person
#the amount of times ive heard my skinny friends call themselves fat and disgusting to my face without considering the implications#i saw some tweet that just like. had a fat person in the video and ALL of the responses were men making fun of her#like. yes i realize my life would be so much better if i was born with a faster metabolism. thank you for reminding me#yes i realize i am not treated seriously because i am fat#that sort of incredulous look skinny people give you when you have the audacity to sit near them on the bus or ask for directions#like they're shocked you weren't some round thing that was in their sights for 2 seconds to make fun but disappeared#i am trying very hard not to let it get to me but when so many people seem to think the same thing it feels stupid#likei know i dont see people the way allosexuals do but are fat people really so disgusting that they feel like they can say shit like that#its so so frustrating#if i am going to die alone because of my own failings i can learn to accept that#but if i die alone because i can't find anybody that doesn't think fat people are worthless then what is the fucking point lmao#''people irl dont actually think that'' i cant count on 1 hand the amount of skinny people who have lamented about their weight to my face#someone brings in cookies to work and as im eating one someone skinny says ''well. i really don't need the extra calories so ill pass''#someone skinny checking out diet/exercise books because they ''REALLY have to lose some weight''#no they aren't talking about me/to me but how detached from your surroundings do you have to be to shit on yourself for your weight#like. even if i was skinny they're still talking about how gross and ugly they are around kids#''love your body and your self!!!1!!1'' okay then stop calling yourself disgusting regardless of how much you weigh.#you can think if if you want but god that 12 year old girl in line behind you is going to remember that forever#she is going to internalize ''oh okay. thats what a disgusting body looks like''#andthen she'll grow up and hate herself and continue the fucking cycle#just stop. stop talking about your weight around kids. i dont need 60 yo women telling me they're gross when they weigh maybe 150 lbs#i know this is super unhealthy but i literally cannot wait until i can move out and isolate myself from society#because every second i try to engage with it is literal torture#yall are so mean for no reason#i dont really have much to live for#but it would be helpful if skinny people didn't constantly reiterate that there's no point to living if you aren't skinny#im so tired#vent
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My little sister just asked me how to loose waight. MY 10 YEAR OLD SISTER. Is worried she's fat.
Everybody fuck off, I'm about to start dropping bodies.
#no.#no we are not doing that.#when I find out who THE FUCK made her feel that way Im serving time#NO#I dont think Ive ever felt so much rage in my life#bek rambles about crap#bode image#tw body image#yes. I have to count calories#I have to watch my waight#BECAUSE IM TRAINING TO BE A PROFETIONAL DANCER#because I have to behave like Im in an olympic sport to stay healthy enough to keep up#never. NEVER. would I expect someone to do the same.#certenly not a baby sister#its aporent#I sat down with her and tryed to explain that#but she just seemed sad :(#Im gonna cry.
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the way people who are supposedly on a 'healthy diet' talk about food sounds like mental illness. 'i would replace this little bit of mayo with yoghurt to save on calories so that I can eat more later' do you f*cking hear yourself. it's like those math problems we used to solve in math class at school, how can you live like that
#it's all counting calories like it's their job. I don't have this kind of time#then they brag 'oh i ate SO MUCH bread I'm sick of it' and it was like. pizza crust one bun and two slices of rye bread during 3 days#yes I'm vagueposting but this person isn't here
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there are two wolves inside of me. one wants to be fat and hairy. the other wants to be muscular for the sake of physically capability and hairy. they both occupy the 110lb hairless and malnourished chihuahua that is my vessel.
#specifying that yes i do find muscles attractive but i go to the gym for strength and mobility purposes#but i literally cannot win because i rarely manage to meet my recommended calorie count and am too depressed to maintain a meal plan
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You would think as a person who recovered from an ED I would learn NOT to weigh myself, like, ever, but of course I keep doing it because curiosity and it only causes distress.
#tw for the tags since it talks about weight#and tw for calories too#mainly because like this should be the lowest point for cycle and hormonal based weight#but somehow I’m up 1.2 lbs from last week#logical me is like yes you had a high salt day yesterday#but then I see the scales BIA basically pegged it all as fat gain#and then I see the whole plot since I’ve had the scale and it says my water weight % hasn’t changed in a range of 20 lbs#I’m trying a little bit to just feel better and wear clothes I feel comfortable in and stuff before school#I thought yeah if I work at it I can be down a little before rural clinic and more before white coat ceremony#but instead compared to 4 weeks ago I’m not even down a pound#I actually did try meticulous counting and weighing for the last two weeks#granted I still refuse to say no to social foods that I can’t be so meticulous about#but I really struggle to see how at my lean mass with how I’ve been eating vast majority of the time HOW even a day could mess it up#like when I’m eating ~1450 calories a day in average with 100g protein how is my weight not changing#especially when I’m lifting 2-4 hours a week and doing cardio for 2-3 hours too#keep in mind I am large rn and I do have decent lean body mass#like if I were to drop to 20% body fat but keep all my lean mass I would still be classified as overweight#so yeah it’s just frustrating#its not so much that I can’t accept my body as it is but that I know I’m being constantly judged on it and I don’t want to deal with that#anyway gonna go cry and consider making breakfast but bring too frustrated to actually cook
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CICO doesn’t work for me apparently because of my severe PCOS unless I restrict down to almost nothing, so I’m constantly hangry now lol
#wishing I could eat dinner but I don’t wanna gain 5 lbs#yes I literally gain 5 lbs in one day by eating dinner it’s insane#yes I fucking calorie-count and log all my food. it doesn’t help. all it does is make me lose my goddamn mind
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Minor health notes on my husband
#help hes counting the calories of single pistachios#he is eating yes but not enough to be healthy#im grateful that for the most part when i have him count calories it is to incentivize him reaching a semi average calorie level#and to show that he does feel better on days that he has closer/more than 2000 calories#at a certain point it feels less like he understands but more just dose what i say it’s concerning#but if it prevents him from hurting himself im ok with giving direction#y&zr1drfl.txt
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i’m not eating anything why does my breath smell bad. there is a disgusting taste in my mouth even after i’ve brushed my teeth.
me 🫱🏼🫲🏻 sugar free gum
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not saying you're wrong or that the point isn't appreciated but lactating wizard is definitely a possibility
Yeah I know I know throwing the fantasy option in there makes a realism complaint less of a thing (I was mostly thinking about historical fiction) but consider this, anon: if I didn't throw joke bait into my informative post, far fewer people would be spreading it around
#my soapbox rant can have gandalf big naturals in the notes. as a treat#but anyway re: other stuff on that post. yes yes the goat's milk yes theoretically inducing lactation whatever#my point still stands that this was a HUGE issue for the majority of human history#still is in some places I believe#and while there are some exceptions of things working out#you couldn't/can't COUNT on those#and handwaving it away just comes off as out of touch and immersion breaking to me#(and potentially a little sexist there I said it)#esp when it's usually like. not that hard to just make the baby a little older or something#and yeah I was oversimplifying for dramatic effect. anyway point is even if baby is getting calories from something#the malnourishment + weakened immune system is going to make them way more likely to die from literally anything#And don't even get me started on#You Can't Just Separate the Baby from the Nursing Mom for a Substantial Period of Time#even if she's still alive#bc she will literally stop lactating and we're back at square one#I mean not always that clear cut but#they should at least be worried about it!#anyway I'll shut up
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crazy thing about dating someone your height and at ur ugw is that i get a front row look of what i have to do to stay that weight
#my bfs metabolism is fucked tho bc he eats a little under 1200 on avg and doesnt lose or put on weight#yes i calorie count for him. no i dont tell him. im horrible but internally
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i googled "how to get rid of brain fog" and it gave me a bunch of shit that was like "eat a mediterranean diet" and "dont drink alcohol or do drugs" so i guess im stuck with brain fog forever. thank you
#sam.txt#i hate it when i look up some shit and its like 'eat healthy' go fuck yourself#yes yes balanced meals are healthy and i do try to eat well#but i am not fucking with 'mediterranean diets' or anything adjacent#fast track to calorie counting and disordered eating#plus i was restrained from eating a lot of stuff when i was young so now i dont stop myseld#and i try to listen to my body and eat better instead of following some instructions
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Day Five ✅
16/6
sliced watermelon (60cal)
skimmed milk with sliced banana (87.5cal)
Diet bread with Hummus (88cal)
6 spoons of rice (130cal)
Chicken breast (150cal)
Two spoons of yogurt (25cal)
Diet coke (0cal)
0.5L of water
total calories = 540.5 calories
#this day was terrifying to me#its the first day i eat this much this week and i just spent it being stressed that i ate too much#then it was relieving when i sat down and counted the calories i ate yes i did crossed the limit by 40cal but i hope it doesn't make a diffe#at this point im just glad that tmw is just 200cal and i dont have to worry abt eating a lot
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