#my boss was like: how do u feel abt starting next week and i was like: cool cool cool sounds like a plan 😎

[kisses4reid]

protect | ·˚ ༘ spencer reid ,,

summary - you get badly injured on a case, and the hospital visit ruins your surprise.

genre - fem!bau!reader x spencer, hurt/comfort, little bit of angst and arguing, fluff, happy ending!! reader can bear children (has female anatomy)

warnings - pregnancy, major injuries, mentions of gross hospital things, r uses she/her pronouns, usual criminal minds violences

w/c - 2.2k

a/n - thank u for the request! loved the idea immediately and this is the first time i’m writing abt pregnancy and stuff so pls do not quote me on anything!!! also this writing isn’t my best, sorry abt that. okay bye have fun reading

request - (@ursuu-la) hihihi idk if you're taking requests, but what if u write something where Spencer and a fem reader are dating and she's pregnant, but she's kinda scared(? or nervous to tell Spencer. And maybe she could tell it to one of the girls of the team to find a way of approaching Reid, but then she gets hurt or something happens to her in a case.

“Oh. My. God.”

You turned your attention from the open manila folder to Garcia’s multiple screens, searching each one for something important, “What?”

“Y/n M/n Reid. You’re pregnant?” Garcia spun in her chair with an angry expression while pointing a ringed finger at the main computer screen. It was your medical history - which you allowed her to search so she could experiment with a new hacking technique - but you had forgotten about your recent discovery.

Your hand was clamped over your mouth as you stared in shock and started rambling through your fingers, “Garcia. I swear, nobody knows - I wasn’t keeping this from just you,” you placed your hands on her shoulders when she stood up in disappointment, sending her office chair to collide with the desk, “Spencer doesn’t even know, please Garcia. Don’t tell anyone.”

Your eyes searched hers for a promise or compromise, but instead you got welling tears.

“Garcia?”

“Y/n, your pregnant with a little Reid! This is amazing- How come you haven’t told him? I’ll have a new little nephew or niece! Y/n!” She squealed and took your hands to spin you in a circle in her small office. You immediately felt nauseous and slowed the excited girl, her hair accessories threatening to fall off in her happiness. You held your stomach and whispered,

“No spinning, I’ll throw up.”

She glanced to her computer screens and shut them down immediately, sitting back down and taking a deep breath. “This is great! Right? Please tell me this is great, you’re already 6 weeks pregnant.”

You bit your lip and nodded, “I mean, I think it’s great but..” You lost yourself in thought.

Last year when you and Spencer got married, you had talked about starting a family many times. But every time you both agreed to wait a few more years in order to save up more money and maybe move into a bigger apartment or even a house. This was not what you planned.

Spencer liked having a plan, it was one thing you grew to love. He was organised and, due to his amazing memory, remembered everything, especially everything about you. And though you two had grown so close you were basically one person, this was the only time you had no idea how Spencer would react if he found out your secret.

“I don’t know how to tell Spencer.”

Garcia grinned, but it was quickly wiped away when she noticed a certain figure in the doorway. You spun on your heel, heart attacking your ribs. Luckily, it was not your husband, but your boss. He stood sternly and started, “We’ve got a case, wheels up in 30.”

You nodded and turned back to Garcia, all she did was wave and whisper, “I’ll text you.”

In the plane, you sat next to Spencer in the aisle seat, stomach feeling queasy and phone vibrating non-stop in your back pocket. You pinched the bone between your eyebrows and squinted at the case files that Hotch had quickly gone over. Morgan was spilling some theories, Prentiss backing him up, when Spencer lowered his head and whispered in your ear, “Are you okay? You seem tired.”

You put on a small smile and nodded, the fact that Spencer had noticed something wrong meant that the rest of the team would notice soon too. You raised yourself and squeezed Spencer’s hand that had been in your lap. You murmured a small excuse me to Hotch and excused yourself to the plane’s toilet.

Spencer began to get worried for your health. The past week and a half, you’d been eating less and then more, and then you’d say you felt sick, and then you were full of energy. You cancelled plans, you slept more, and you had started avoiding Spencer. You were getting sick, and distant, and he hated how you wouldn’t let him help you whenever he asked. He furrowed his eyebrows and shook his head slightly, attempting to focus on the profile.

Sat on the toilet, ready to double over into the bathroom sink, you pulled out your phone and scrolled through Garcias texts.

What about a baby onesie with Daddy’s favourite child on it?

What about a candle lit dinner?

What about donuts that spell out ‘I’m Pregnant!’

I’ve seen people purposefully burn bread and wait until their husbands understand, maybe that?

Maybe. But right now, that was not what you wanted to think about. On top of the case and the whole pregnancy situation, your symptoms were becoming harder to conceal.

A whole day of analysis, interrogating, leads and dead ends led you to a one story run down house with broken windows and an overgrown yard. You threw the FBI bullet vest over your shoulders as Spencer approached you with a tight smile. His hair was shorter these days, after he finally let you start cutting it, but nothing could change his attractiveness. His cologne wafted into your senses as he went behind you, tightening your vest and patting your back and waist down to make sure you were at optimal safety.

You could almost imagine he knew you were pregnant.

“Remember, if he’s in there, keep your distance. He’s a big guy but silent, and not all there.” He furrowed his eyebrows as he did a last check over of your vest, belt, and the position of your gun. You smiled and nodded,

“I know, Spence. I’ve been here too.”

He sighed and nodded, placing a small kiss on your cheek as a good luck.

You were married, but there was no guarantee you’d both make it out of any case. Every movement could be your last, and every interaction could be your last together.

Morgan slipped through the door after a man picked the front doors lock, Prentiss behind him and you behind her. After you, followed Hotch and Spencer.

“Clear!” Morgan called from the kitchen. You turned right down a hallway, Prentiss disappearing into a small room on the right and yelling,

“Clear!”

You entered the small bedroom, gun high and steps careful. It was an adults bedroom, maybe a teenager. There was posters of horror movies, a thin mattress on the floor and shelves of books and wooden cupboard holding what you believed to be clothes.

“Clea-“

The wind got knocked out of you, your shoulder colliding with the wall to your left and a sharp handle being jabbed into your side, as you plummeted against the floor and hearing a loud thump and shattering glass beside you. Miniscule, rainbow, dots clouded your vision, the adrenaline and the concussion you were sure you had numbing the pain coursing through your veins. You screamed in pain, Hotch entering almost immediately.

You lifted your right arm to point out the window, the glass shattered from where the unsub had escaped.

Spencer entered the room in a rush, eyes running over the fallen cupboard that would've been taller than the both of you, and then your small body in the corner. You held out your arm for him, and he placed his hands under your armpits, jolting back when you screeched in pain. "Y/n, your..." His eyes widened in shock and fear at the sight of your dislocated shoulder. Your right hand clutched to your left side - no doubt trying to comfort a massive bruise or worse.

He gulped, helping you up and throwing your good arm around his shoulders. The sudden movements blanked your vision for a few moments, a small lump forming on the front left side of your temple, and your legs trembled in the sudden need to hold yourself up. "Y/n, we just need to get you to the ambulance, alright?" Spencer told you reassuringly. He didn't know how much you could understand, your eyes were cloudy and your movements spaghetti-like, but he continued to reassure you anyways.

The paramedics set into action as soon as they saw your near limp body strung across Spencer's taller build. You were placed in the ambulance on a bed and before you knew it, there was a heavy clamp on your finger and two paramedics touching you and saying unexplainable things to each other. A short one with a beard came close to your vision, obvious aware it was still slightly blurred, "Agent Y/n. We need to take your shirt off in order to fix your shoulder okay? We need to pop it back in as quick as we can."

All you could do is nod, Spencer making most of the choices for you as your husband - he wouldn't put you through something he knew you would disagree with. They asked him questions, and while the voices came in and out of focus, the adrenaline was wearing off and suddenly your senses heightened. "Is she pregnant?"

The question rolled off the paramedics tongue like a rehearsed poem, and Spencer shook his head like there was no possible way you were. But as you saw needles being prepared, your heart started pounding so fast it got the attention of the professionals. "Y/n, are you still with us?"

To Spencer, you looked like you had just woken up to a bad dream, but there was something deeper - you were not unconcious, if anything you looked alert.

"I'm pregnant." The paramedics glanced at each other and Spencer's eyes widened. The one with the needle placed it down carefully on a table, and before you knew it, you were being pushed through hallways and into a awfully bright room.

You passed out, fear and exaustion catching up to you. But Spencer couldn't sleep. On top of the fact that his wife had just gotten her shoulder dislocated and then fixed, and a slight rib fracture, she was also pregnant.

Spencer doubted for the first half hour of waiting for you to wake up that you actually were. You were saying nonsense, you were injured and the adrenaline... usually causes people to tell the truth. He paced and went over everything that had been happening. The change in your behaviour, the tiredness, the sickness. It was all coming together like a puzzle, and he wondered why he didn't realise sooner.

"Spence?" A small voice called out, and he approached the hospital bed almost immediately.

"Y/n." Spencer smiled in relief, overjoyed that you were alright and breathing. He knew you'd be fine, but anything can be unpredictable. Anyone can be unpredictable. "I'm so glad you're okay."

"What happened?" You tried to sit up but Spencers soft hands encouraged you to stay laying down.

"The unsub pushed a cabinet at you. You collided with the wall and dislocated your shoulder." He explained softly, the doctors told him that the specific pain killers they gave you may cause some loopiness. "Oh." You whispered, eyes searching his face like you had never seen it before, and you smiled. You were here, and he was here, and you needed nothing more. Other than more pain killers.

Spencer bit his lip, and sighed, not sure if it was the right time to bring the blindside up at that moment.

"Y/n, darling, are you... pregnant?"

The small grin wiped off your face and you took some deep breaths, nodding and avoiding his gaze in fear of rejection. Spencer sighed, and pushed his hair away from his face, a smile rising onto his cheeks. Tears welled in his eyes from happiness. "This is great, this is... wow Y/n, I can't believe.." He gulped, "I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner."

Confusing his disbelief for anger, tears started dropping down your cheeks as you sat in silence. Spencer started to worry, "Do you... not want to have a baby with me? Or at all? Do you think I won't be a good father? I know that I've had my problems in the past but I promise I can be a good father-"

"Spencer." You called his name in shock, heart aching over his insecure questions. "I do want a baby, especially one with you. And I don't think you'll be a good father, I know you'll be a great one. I just," you wiped your cheeks and he sat down in a chair beside your bed, taking your hand in his. "I'm scared. I thought that you wouldn't want to have one right now because of our... plan. This is really early and we didn't get to save- and- I thought you'd be mad-" You had started blubbering now, the heart monitor becoming a ticking time bomb for a full on breakdown, before Spencer took your face in his hands and smashed your lips onto his.

He pulled back, smile wide, eyes full of adoration and sorrowfullness.

"Y/n, I don't care about that plan anymore. And I'm not mad." He searched your eyes with his, "I just wished you told me earlier. Maybe you wouldn't have been injured, because god knows I wouldn't have let you go out into the field."

"Spencer, I'm so sorry." You sniffled, placing your other hand on top of his.

"Oh, darling. You don't have to be sorry. I've made my injured and pregnant wife cry, I should be sorry."

You giggled, and leant forward to kiss him on the nose. "So it's really okay?"

"Of course. You just have to heal quickly, and I'll do all the rest."

taglist (open!!) - @jeffswh0re @reap3erslov3 @candyd1es @0108s22m

[homonculos]

sorry to longpost complain. aita at my workplace (i kno im not im j mad)

my boss is so fucking annoying.... i had an informal performance review with him yesterday and here's how it went:

boss: how do you think youre doing?

me: um ok i think? im still getting my feet under me but im enjoying it so far [been abt 2 months since i started]

boss: yea youre doing a great job. so uh what happened w the car break in? [company property was stolen in the process]

[i explain the story; expressly indicate that i want to make it right, including fulfilling a clause in the equipment policy that says the $ to buy new equipment can be taken out of my next paycheck. boss is incredulous; says that is likely not necessary. im relieved.]

boss: so it seems like youre having trouble with [z], so i sent you some ideas.

me: i saw that email, looks great. ill take a look at those in the coming weeks. also, here's a long list of ideas that i got from a different meeting this morning.

boss: oh, looks great. ok. any other questions for me?

me: um not really. i guess i'd ask, do you want me to focus more on X or Y? [the long list of ideas i brought to meeting are all X-related]

boss: uh well i guess both when you can. we haven't had much X lately since i started running this operation, so that's welcome. feel free to work on things i cover as well [his stuff is mostly Y].

me: ok, ill start looking into Y and X things as they come around. another question, is 3 projects/week still an ok productivity level for you?

boss: uh i dont know where you got that idea. 5/week is what we all aim for. that shouldnt be a problem for you since you did 3 projects/day at your last job.

me: oh ok, ill start doing more.

boss: yea i dont know where you got that idea. i help out where i can [meaning he writes a couple 6 sentence paragraphs/week and calls those complete projects] but everyone does 5/week. that shouldnt be a problem for you.

me: its not a problem! i just didnt know. ill start aiming for that.

EPILOGUE

i turned in a project later that afternoon. the project in question follows a very contentious, months-long event that has disrupted the community our org works with and resulted in two major leadership changes. no response from boss when i notify him.

at 7pm boss replies to me:

[paraphrasing] "i appreciate you researching this and handing in a complete project, but it could have just been a 6 sentence paragraph." [end paraphrase]"

8:45 am this morning, unprompted: (direct quote, excluding brackets for privacy)

"not sure where you heard 3 [projects] a week. Even [colleague 1] does that many and he edits 2 days a week. He sometimes does 5. [colleague 2] and [colleague 3] both do 5-10 [projects] a week. Anyway, since you did 3 [projects] a day at your last job I don't think that should be a problem for you. It's really easy to do a project in 8 hours. In fact most [projects] we do should take half that time. Even long and complicated [projects] shouldn't take longer than 2-3 days."

is it just me or was this not a problem until I BROUGHT IT UP.... like u have every right to be mad at me if i wasnt doing something u wanted me to do. but you have to TELL ME TO DO IT FIRST!!!!

also we already talked about this in person??? why are you repeating yourself and chastising me???

fucking boomers man. this guy retires at the end of the year fortunately but its really annoying to deal with him. it's been problems ever since the beginning too.

and as an addendum, i have a friend who is fighting for their dreams to get into grad school right now, and im so proud and so so so jealous. and they love their job right now too! its renewing their interest in our shared field! im so happy for them but im so bitter that i made a life-changing choice a year ago and its turning out like this. i should journal! i need to journal ack

[sluttystucky]

𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 | 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬.

𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲 : the weather is bad and your dad, whose been picking you up after late shifts, is out of town so he’s sent his best friend bucky to take his little girl home. who is bucky to refuse? read on ao3

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 : dad’s best friend!bucky barnes x f!reader 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 : 4,215 words 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 :  (  MINOR’S DO NOT INTERACT! 18+  )  teasing, age gap (bucky is late 30s, reader is 22-23?), undefined relationship, praise kink, thigh riding, fingering, oral (female receiving, male receiving mentioned), dirty talk, pet names (sweets/sweetheart, honey, baby/doll), unprotected sex  ( don’t risk it, wrap ya biscuit! ), creampie, cumplay.

𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 :  i really said to myself “hey why don’t u write something small abt this au!bucky” and then it took two days and made my brain melt out through my bad ear. anyway, please don’t reupload, repost or translate my work. i only post on tumblr and ao3, so if you see this elsewhere know that it isn’t me. once again, i ask that MINOR’S DO NOT INTERACT! 18+

“You better be careful, what with this weather” Your boss, Tom, calls as you pull on your jacket, having so graciously offered to finish closing up on his own so you could get a head start to try and beat the worst of the wind and rain. You’re babbling your thanks to him once again when the bell above the diner door gives a jingle, your ride home entering. Your boss is about to shoo him away, telling him that they’re closed but you cut in, “Don’t worry, this is just Bucky. My dad asked him to pick me up, cause he’s outta town”.

“Y’ready, doll?” Bucky calls out with his familiar drawl, opening the door back up and letting a large gust of wind and rain into the diner. You make a point to dart straight out, shouting your good nights and final thank you to Tom as you rush to Bucky’s car, earning a chuckle from the pair. The parking around the diner isn’t that expansive, but it’s dark and you find yourself halting as you look out for it, only for Bucky’s hand to find the small of your back and guide you instead.

You feel your cheeks growing warm, biting at your bottom lip as you make a point to stay in his space even when you spot his familiar car. He even makes it a point to walk you to the passenger side of the car, opening and closing the car door for you before hastily making his retreat to the drivers’ side. Ever the gentlemen, you find yourself thinking as you let go of the breath you didn’t realise you were holding, his touch still hot on your back despite the loss.

When he does get into the car, he offers you a crooked grin (one you’ve come to find endearing and familiar in recent months) before starting it up and beginning to drive. The ride is quiet, the radio crackling in-and-out as it loses connection, not that either of you mind. Given he was slightly handsy as you’d left, you didn’t know how to act all alone in the car with Bucky.

He’s the first one to break the silence as the car pulls up to a stop at a red light, the rain coming down a little harder on the windows than it had earlier. “How come you got your dad driving you, Honey?” Your face burns at the name, turning to face him while there’s time. “My car broke down two weeks ago, can’t afford to fix it until next month maybe. I was fine, but he likes picking me up when it’s closing shifts.” Bucky nods as you explain, his left arm settling on top of your thigh. You bite back a sharp breath, pathetically feeling a thrill go up your spine at more contact before. You make it a point to straighten up before continuing, hoping you come across as unaffected, “I said I was fine while he was away, but he saw the weather report and freaked, I guess.”

Murmuring an agreement, Bucky’s thumb begins to rub small circles on your clothed thigh. “Wanted me to make sure his little girl was safe. Pick ‘er up, take her home, you know.” And with that the light changes to green and once again his touch leaves yours, a pitiful whine falling from your lips before you can stop it.

So this is what’s happening, you find yourself thinking as you clench your thighs together in an attempt to alleviate some pressure. It wasn’t the first time he’s teased you like that, not the first time his hand - far larger than your own - had made its way onto your thigh and roamed. You hardly think your dad would have even entertained the thought of asking Bucky to pick you up so late, to “take her home” as Bucky had said, if he knew how the pair of you had been fucking like bunnies since you’d graduated college and returned home last summer.

But dear god had it been good, truly having hit the jackpot with Bucky and his talented… Everything. You’d developed a small crush on him when you’d come home for the first time after beginning your sophomore year of college and come face to face with him. To say he was everything you weren’t expecting when your dad had been talking about a new friend of his would be beyond an understatement (part of you wanting to march over to your dad right then and there and berate him for not informing you that his friend was so hot). 

He’d been so kind, introducing himself so politely and acting like a gentleman but you’d heard him run his dirty mouth the few times your mom had sent you to pick up your dad from the bar at the weekends. Since then, Bucky had been a permanent fixture in your late night fantasies as you imagined your fingers were his, bringing yourself over the edge with his name on your lips, or as you ruthlessly fucked yourself stupid with a dildo and coming messily as you imagined it was his thick cock filling you.

Truthfully, your fantasies had been fantastic but you couldn’t help but think the real thing was far better the first time you sank to your knees and messily slurped your shared come off of his cock and balls after he’d fucked you rough and hard against the bathroom sink during the 4th of July neighbourhood bbq right before your college graduation, making you watch in the mirror and bite down on his first as he fucked you so deep.

You’d thought it was a one time thing after that first time, fully expecting awkward tension the next time you’d see him. You couldn’t even prepare yourself for the mortification that would come if he confessed to your father, but the next time you’d seen Bucky he’d been so casual, smug. It was like he could see your mind racing, eyes falling every so often to his crotch like a cockslut, making him bold. 

You weren’t sure how but it was like every available opportunity you both had alone, you both ended up coming together. Over six months of memories where you had watery eyes, mouth stuffed full of his cum and cock, pulling off and spitting his seed into your hand as you continued to stroke him. 

You’d been bent over the back of the sofa, summer dress thrown over your back and panties pushed to the side while he ate you out like a man starved - Your friends and family on the other side of the house were completely unaware how your body thrashed as be brought you over the edge with such an impact you’d had to take your time returning to the party. (He’d had a smug grin on his face then, too, as he watched you walk back on wobbly legs, trying to pretend like you weren’t still catching your breath).

And, of course, he’d fucked you good and deep on many occasions - stuffing you so full of his cum before making you pull your panties back on and walk back out like his cum wasn’t staining them. He’d let you walk around in them before coming back later on, fucking you sweetly as you choked out his name and taking the panties home with him before you’d even noticed (asshole).

It wasn’t just sex, at least you’d hoped. You’d see moments in your encounters that made you think there could be more to it, like when he’d let you stay the night after you’d fucked you stupid into the mattress only for you to wake up in the morning to the smell of pancakes in the kitchen and his warm smile as he pulls you to the breakfast nook. Neither of you had spoken about the type of relationship you had, if it was just sex or the potential for something more and you’d been okay with that. 

His hand comes back down against your thigh, sliding under the uniform this time but he makes no attempt at going where you need him most. He resumes the pattern of small circles against the exposed flesh as he continues to navigate the roads. 

A moment later his hand stills, pausing the teasing. “You want this, Sweetheart?” And you know if you said no, his hand would immediately draw away, and instead he’d take you straight home with no issue. Your hand takes his, biting down on your lip as he checks for any sign of hesitance. 

“I want this, James. I want you, please” and with that he resumes, your body igniting once more. He’s got this proud look in his eye, sneaking quick glances while he drives and murmuring a good girl that stutters your racing heart.

How the hell can he focus when he’s teasing me like this? You can’t help but think to yourself as you spread your legs open further, giving him more access that he simply ignores. 

“Buck’ c’mon, please” You break, lip caught between your teeth as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on, core hot and slick pooling in your panties. “You’re okay” He says instead, shushing you as he begins his slow descent up your thigh. You count that as a win, the flesh of your thigh burning where he touches. “You’re doing so good, Sweetheart. So patient” He tells you, though you feel strung out as he says it - focusing on the heavy rainfall hitting the roof of the car in an effort to take your mind off his teasing. So much for acting unaffected, you curse yourself.

You come back to just as his wrist brushes against your hip bone, a loud whine falling from your lips before you can try and stop it. Not that you think he’s bothered about the sounds you’re making, not when he’d complain so often about having to keep quiet when you’d secretly have your ways with each other during events. 

Your experience showed Bucky preferred when he had you at your apartment or his house, where you could make as much noise as he liked. You were inclined to agree, the sounds of his grunts and moaning like music to your ears.

“Please” You try again, sucking in a sharp breath when his fingers toy with the lace covering your cunt. You turn to him, unable to stop yourself as your hips twitch. He continues to skirt around where he needs you most, thighs spread wide and trembling. You’re desperately trying to rock your hips against the seat, the vibrations of the care providing minor relief as Bucky continues his teasing.

He briefly brings his hand back down and soothes the area, gently rubbing and kneading at it while you whine and whimper. You weren’t sure you’d ever been so turned on by, essentially, next to nothing but here you were, dripping against his leather seats while he nonchalantly plays with you.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he said softly, massaging your inner thighs, you feel his fingers snake up and pull your panties to the side finally earning a sharp intake of breath from you. For a brief second he draws his eyes away from yours, a smile etched on his lips before turning back to focus on the road. “You’re doing so good, takin’ what I do and don’t give you like a good girl, aren’t you?” His fingers are so close as you breathe a sigh of relief, happy to finally have his touch. He’s so close to running his fingers through your folds, sinking them deep into your cunt when suddenly he pulls away, turning the car’s ignition off.

You’re sure the disappointment is all over your face as you pathetically sigh, head rolling to the side to look out the window. It takes you a second, the main lights turned off and the room dim, but you realise he’s pulled up into his garage without you even noticing. 

Almost like he can see the confusion in your face, Bucky shrugs. “He did say to take you home” before opening the drivers’ side door and getting out. 

Your legs are shaky as you get out, Bucky once again opening the door for you and crowding into your space as you rest against the body of the car (which is the only thing holding you up right now, you thought).

“You wanna come home with me baby?” He asks, lips meeting the column of your neck and leaving wet kisses on the skin. “You want me to take care of you like you want, gonna make you feel good, Sweetheart.” He murmurs against the hollow of your throat as he sucks and drags his teeth at the skin there, making you whine and desperately try to rock your hips against his clothed thigh to much avail. You feel slick against your thighs, dripping and desperate for something to take the edge off.

Still needy, you can’t help but pull him down into an open-mouthed kiss that feels like he’s consuming you and wrap your arms around his neck in an attempt to pull him that much closer. Now you’ve got your hands on him (his touch roaming as he moans into the kiss) it’s taking everything in you to not tear your clothes off right there in the open garage for his whole neighbourhood to see.

You whine against him once more, the scratch of Bucky’s stubble making you hiss as he continues his work of marking up your neck while you continue to try and ride his thigh. He tsks, pulling away from you and shaking his head.

“Can’t wait anymore, not even to walk across to the other side of this door?” He teases, pointing to the door connecting his garage to the inside of the house. He pulls his keys from his jean pocket, pressing a button and the garage door starts to close.

Your face burns because no, you really couldn’t wait but then he presses a soft kiss to your forehead and gently pushes against the small of your back, hand falling back to where he’d placed it before as he guided you into the house. You make yourself useful, fingers pulling at the buttons on your uniform and shucking it off, your bra hastily following as he closes the door before pawing at Bucky’s shirt while he locks the door with a chuckle.

With a final check of the door handle and making sure it’s locked, he turns and kisses you deeply, pulling you into his space as he makes it a point to finally start touching you like you’d near begged him to in the car. You’re pressed against his wall before you even realise what’s happening.  

“Baby, I need it. I need you really bad” You manage to get out in between his kisses, feeling the hand cradling your face fall to your breast and begin to pinch at the nipple that pebbles. 

Pulling away from your mouth with a line of spit connecting his lips to your red and swollen ones, he bends to take the nipple he’s toying with into his mouth, sucking and biting at it with a smile. “You know ‘m gonna take care of you,” He pulls the hand from the nipple he’s worrying with his teeth and starts teasing the other as your head rolls back. “You trust me, don’t you, Honey?” He looks up at you and watches as you hurry to nod, stammering out your answer as your hand makes its way into his hair.

“Then keep it up, I got you. Gonna make you cum, get you nice and stuffed full of my cum before bed.” He murmurs into your skin, hot wet kisses trailing down from the valley of your breasts to your naval as he falls to his knees at your feet.  “Get you nice and warmed up first though, take care of your pretty pussy now, yeah?” He asks, pressing a kiss into your hip bone earning a strung out whine from you.

Eyes still fixed on you above him, Bucky lifts your leg up and over his shoulder in a familiar movement as he kisses the inside of your thighs. A shiver runs through you as you feel his hands pawing at either side of your hips, pulling your panties down and exposing your sopping cunt to the air.

“Fuck, look at you.” Bucky says, almost to himself as he kisses your inner thighs once more, catching you off guard when he draws his fingers to rub at your bare pussy, quickly making work of rubbing circular motions at your clit. 

“So wet, Sweetheart, all for me? Y’ gonna let me take care of you?” His mouth moves to your clit then as he looks up at you once more, alternating between sucking at the bundle of nerves and gently licking at it. 

His fingers trail down through your folds before they make their way to your core. You hiss as he starts to finally fuck his thick fingers inside of you, gaining a steady rhythm as they curl inside of you. 

“Should’a done this in the car” he grunts out before lapping at your folds, “but you just looked so pretty for me, moaning and dripping on my seats”

His stubble is scratching at the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and lips, making you keen away as he fingers you. He sucks at your clit before gently soothing over it with his tongue, warning you before he adds another finger to the mix.

His name is tumbling from your lips like a chant as you feel his fingers drag against your walls, clenching down on them. “Fuck, sweetheart. You’re killing me” His voice sounds from your cunt, vibrating against it as he curls his fingers in a come hither motion. It knocks you slightly off balance, held up by Bucky’s arm curling under your thigh to keep your raised leg steady. 

Your hand, still grasping at his hair, tugs him away from your pussy with a sigh. His beard is glistening in the low light of the streetlamps shining through the window with the remnants of your juices and you can’t deny it’s a good look. You pull his head back to look up at you, his fingers still fucking you though more slowly. 

“Bucky, baby, I’m ready.” You pout, huffing a breath out. “Need your cock. ‘Promised you’d fill me up, Buck. Need you to fill me up, need you to--” You babble, only stopping when he pulls his fingers out of you and rises to pull you into a bruising kiss. You don’t even bother to whine about how empty you feel, instead moaning at the taste of yourself on his tongue. Your hands fall to his jeans and tug at the waist band, making work of pulling his cock out. Bucky takes the opportunity to shuck off his jeans and underwear too.

“Look at this, Honey. So hard, all for you” Bucky spits into his hand, still slick with your juices before running his fist over his cock. Your own tries to get at it, but he quickly grabs your wrists and pushes them up and above your head. “Don’t think I’ll last if you get a hand on me now, Babydoll.” He’s quick to explain, “Wanna come ‘nside of you tonight, missed getting you to myself”

Wrists still pinned above your head, he continues to fist at his cock to bring some relief (desperate not to cum too soon, God, he wanted to make it good for you) before he licks into your mouth. He gives himself one last stroke before stilling, “Right, c’mon, up” is all he has to say before he’s lifting you up as you wrap your legs around him, your arms falling to wrap around his neck.

He pushes his cock inside at a pace you can only describe as torturous, making you feel every detail of his cock like you’d be quizzed on it later. The veins on the underside, dragging against your walls due to his pace. Eyes pleading with him as your hands are drawn to your own head, tugging at the strands of your damp hair in frustration,  “Bucky, please. Quit playing me around and just fuck me.” you moan out.

He’s close to as far gone as you are, so he hurries his motions up rather than tease you more, his eyes flutter, closing when he’s finally bottomed out. He pulls you into a desperate kiss and starts to steadily fuck into you, making you drag your nails down his exposed back. You feel a slight burn against your own back as your skin drags against the wall - both of you filling in the empty space of his hallway with the sounds of your slapping skin and moaning.

“Honey, you’re so fucking tight. Every. Fuckin’. Time” He accentuates with his thrusts, causing you to bury your head in his shoulder and pant against his sweat-slick skin. The familiar ache he caused from the car ride is blossoming into bliss, your stomach tightening as he continues his thrusts and resumes his work on your clit.

It’s making your eyes roll to the back of your head as your whole body feels like it’s lit on fire.

“Baby, ‘m close. Jus’ like that, yeah!” You keen, the sounds of Bucky’s grunts as he thrusts spurring you on. He’s not sure if it’s from the rain from earlier or sweat but your hair is sticking to your face and Bucky can’t stop himself from brushing it out of your eyes gently with his fingers. He mutters praise as he goes, cradling your face with one hand while the other holds up your position.

He changes the angle of his hips, driving into you deeper and hitting you just where you need him to over and over again. You can feel how wet you are, can hear it in the thrusting of Bucky’s hips and yet, you can still feel more seeping out of your pussy with each slam of his cock.

“Y’close, Sweets? Gotta be, you’re milking my cock” Bucky calls out, hands gripping your ass and no doubt leaving bruises to bloom in the morning. You nod furiously, feeling your orgasm build as he continues to drive into you and brings the hand at your face back down to your clit once more.

He’s rubbing his fingers against your clit, tracing tight circles against the nerves as he continues to slam his cock right against your g-spot and make you wail.

“M’m gonna cum, yeah. Fill you up, Honey, get you all stuffed with my cum until it’s leaking down your thighs. Gonna fuck more into you in the morning, you like that” You can feel his balls slapping against you, heavy as he fucks you. 

“Wanna cum too, s’close jus— Yeah, jus— That—!” Your head falls back as you cry out, feeling the coil snap and your orgasm wash through you as Bucky fucks you through it mumbling ‘Atta girl’ into your skin for cumming down his cock. His own release is close, drawn closer by your twitching walls and velvet heat drawing him deep. He feels his balls draw up and tighten before he’s spilling into you and making you whine, head burrowing in the crook of your neck once more as he grunts.

You both stay for a few minutes catching your breath, your legs barely locked around Bucky’s waist anymore and it’s truly a testament to him that you’re both still in an upright position. Hot breaths on your collarbone turn to a small kiss and a teasing bite, a look of regret painting Bucky’s face - confusing you for a moment - before he lifts you slightly to pull out and settle.

He’s quick to put his knee between your legs in an effort to keep you up, pressing his torso against yours as he lazily kisses you. You feel well and truly fucked out, smiling into the kiss when you felt the corner’s of Bucky’s own lips turn up. His hand trailed back to your sensitive pussy, thankfully avoiding your sensitive bud and instead gathering the cum that had started to drip out as you took your time.

“How about we get you into bed, Sweetheart” He murmurs, kissing and biting along your neck still. He brings his fingers back out from your cunt, pressing the digits against your bottom lip and waiting for you to open. Almost immediately they’re sucked into your mouth, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you clean his fingers. 

“Lemme take you to bed, my sweet girl. You did so good, jus’ wanna hold you tonight, wake up to you in the mornin’ while I’ve still got the chance, yeah?”

Fucked out, you nod pulling his fingers from your mouth spit slick and allowing him to scoop you up and finally take you further into the house and then, his bed.

Bucky makes sure to send a text to your dad when he’s got you sleeping on his bed, wearing one of his old shirts. She’s home safe, it reads.

[closetedotaku01]

thank u for taking my request!!! it is: so where i work (a front desk job) guys come in who are rlly flirty n shit, usually its harmless, like last week some guy just walked by & gave me a note w his number & i havent stopped thinking abt how akaashi would react to that happening to his gf o_o but sometimes it gets...rlly creepy...i jus wanna read abt akaashi w a gf who gets hit on a lot & how he’d react/comfort her 😔 cuz i wish i had him to make me feel better when men are creepy to me 😔

I’m just happy you trust me to write your request, Em. I’m more than happy to take it on <3. I hope it lives up to what you expect. And I’m very sorry you have to deal with what you’re dealing with it’s... disgusting. But I admire your strength for powering through it every day. And Akaashi would too. He’d be so mad at the situation, but so proud of you.

~~~~~~

Fem!Reader x Akaashi

-When it’s harmless flirting, Akaashi usually brushes it off.

-He’s not fond of the situation, but he understands that beautiful girls often get flirted with, and that you can’t really help being so gorgeous, and having such a beautiful smile. Even when the smile is feigned solely for the purpose of doing your job.

-But he trusts you completely. Akaashi wouldn’t even be in a relationship with someone he didn’t fully trust, so it’s never too much of an issue.

-At most he’ll feign a little jealousy so he can tease you and you can tease him back. He loves the cute little batner when you try to reassure him.

-You came home one night, and while you were taking off your shoes Akaashi came up behind you and gave you a hug. He had really needed you that day. Needed to be near you more than anything. And as he whispered a greeting in your ear, his hands slipped into the pockets of your hoodie as he held you. They went in with the intention of holding your hands which were tucked in the pockets to shield them from the cold, but instead he found a note. With some guy’s phone number. He smiled deviously, before having his face fall back to its usual expression.

-He started walking away and reading the guy’s name out slowly, “Really?”

-You laugh, “Oh. That was just some guy at work, Keiji. He was really sweet.”

-“Sweet?”

-“Yeah, he just slid it over on the desk when he was checking out,” you say, following him as he goes to sit on the couch, still examining the paper like it’s an important document that needs to be reread.

-When you’re in front of him he takes your wrist, and tugs gently, pulling you onto the sofa next to him. “Sweeter than me?” Akaashi teases, kissing your hand gently before lifting it over and around his head so your arm is slung around his neck. You lean against his body looking at the creased piece of paper, an uneven heart next to the nine digits written on it.

-You purse your lips to the side, eyes going to the corner of the ceiling, “Well…”

-His arm is suddenly thrown around your waist, and pulls you close to his chest so you’re almost lying on top of him, “Come on, kitten, you can’t just say that!” His voice is slightly whiny before he leans in and kisses the crown of your head, hand cupping your cheek gently and then slipping below your chin and guiding your face to look up at his.

-“Okay fine, Keiji. You win. You’re sweeter,” you huff, annoyed at the effect he has on you. The way his eyes are so peaceful and full of love just for you that you can never resist him.

-He kisses your nose lightly. “Good,” his voice is deep and intense. You lift your head and kiss his lips, before tucking your face into his neck.

-Akaashi loves knowing that he’s the one who gets your kisses and your eyerolls. Your soft touches and your playful hits. Your love and your teasing. You are his, and he will never understand how he got so lucky.

-However when things go too far… his reaction changes.

~~~~

You come home late. Later than normal. Later than the nights when your shitty boss makes you take on extra shifts. Later than ever before. No texts. No calls. No warning. And the second Akaashi hears the keys, he’s at the door. He’s been pacing the length of the apartment the whole night, waiting for you to get home. Needing you to come home and be with him so he could be certain you were okay.

He just wants to pull you in close and hold you, hold on tight to you, and fall asleep easily.

But when he sees you, he hesitates. Your hair is a mess, your makeup completely gone, your eyes rimmed red, your body closed off to him, your lips swollen.

“Kitten?” he asks softly, approaching you slowly and cautiously like approaching a wounded animal, “Is everything okay?”

You shake your head. You can feel all of it still. The disgust and grime all over you. There’s nothing clean. Nothing safe.

Akaashi knows you too well, “Want me to run a bath for you?” You nod and he gets straight to it, setting up candles and a bath bomb quickly and warming the water to your perfect comfort level. He lets you be alone while you bathe, letting the warm water melt away the day. Melt away the touch of that man’s hand on yours when he took the key to his room. Letting the steam and scented candles fog your mind, separating you from your thoughts, hazing the memory of his sleazy grin and crude remarks. You let your eyes flutter closed, and let it all disappear.

It doesn’t.

You get out of the tub, and squeeze your hair out, just enough so it’s not dripping. Akaashi sitting on the sofa in the living room. His head is leaned back over the back rest, eyes closed in thought. He’s playing with his fingers the way he always does, bending them back slightly and rubbing them up and down before moving to the next one.

You know it’s killing him. He needs to fix it. Wishes he could know what’s wrong and solve it the way he always does, clear the problem and move on. But you’re not ready to talk about it. And there’s no way to really fix it anyway. You spent hours of your shift, and beyond your shift talking to HR. It was the whole reason you were out so late. And they’d only reminded you of precautions you were meant to take. Because there was nothing they could do. Nothing anyone could do. Especially not to undo the damage that had already been done.

You walk around the sofa and he sits up straight, eyes flashing up to you. You know he needs it, and the world always feels a bit safer with Akaashi, so you take one of his hands in yours. You let your eyes meet his and you can see him analyzing you.

It used to bother you. Used to get on your nerves that he didn’t just talk to you. But in moments like this, in the moments when the words seemed impossible, you were grateful he knew you this well. He scoots over slightly, giving you an easy way in, and you take it. You curl up next to him. Your head rests on his shoulder, your hand cupped gently in his as he plays with your fingers now. He sees the way you relax at his gentle touch, and it brings him some peace knowing he’s at least being helpful.

The increasingly late hour makes everything feel oddly calm. Like the events that happened…. didn’t. Like your mind falsified the event, like in a few hours you’d be able to chalk it all up to a dream or being wasted. Of course, every time you think about it, it hits you, all of what he said, what he did, and the terrible realization of what he must have been thinking.

You speak with calculated words, like the story isn’t yours, “It was bad today, Keiji.”

There was no prompting, but Akaashi acts like your words didn’t just come out of nowhere, “Do you want to tell me about it?”

“I don’t know what I want.”

He nods, lightly bobbing his head, “That’s okay. We can just stay like this. Or I can put on music, or a movie to distract you. But if you want to talk… I want to hear it.”

“Okay,” you say, finally turning your head to face him. He puts on a slight faked smile for you. You know he’s waiting. And you know it’s better to talk about it, to vent, then to let it keep consuming you. Get it out of your head, and then it’ll stop taking up every corner of your mind.

“There was … a really creepy guy at my work today. He …,” with being so mentally distant from the situation, and having already told the woman at work your situation, you thought it’d be easy to say. There was something about telling Akaashi that makes the whole thing real. It makes you realize how sickening it was. Forces you to take in the fact that that man had made a decision. A conscious decision proving that, to him, you and your comfort and boundaries, were not worth respecting. That you were something he believed he had a right to have access to. And the thought makes your mind open, finally accepting what happened, and you can’t go on. Your voice is caught under the lump in your throat, you can feel your eyes welling up.

Your lips press into a line, an attempt to hold in the whimpers threatening to fall out.

Akaashi’s eyes are patient and concerned, but once he realizes there won’t be more he doesn’t know what to do. You take the first motion, needing him closer as you cry into him, and Akaashi scoops you up into him, pulling you as close as the world will allow two people to be. “I’m so sorry.” He lets his large hands care for you, one rubbing up and down your back, pressing your slightly farther into him, the other scratching the back of your head gently.

You nod as you let the tears fall, gripping tight onto his shirt, letting yourself take him in. The smooth, gentle, welcomed feel of his skin as his body surrounds you. The clean, calming smell of him. The faint memory of cologne stuck to his shirt. His body wash, cologne, and detergent, filling your mind with pleasant memories. The warmth radiating off his body into yours. He feels warmer than the bath. You can feel the steadying control he has over his body.

“I’ve got you, Kitten. I’m right here,” he pushes you back only slightly so he can take your hands and loosens your grip on his shirt, instead letting his fingers intertwine with yours, “I’m not going anywhere.” He releases your hands, and his to your back, pressing you into him gently.

You bring your hands up, looping them around his neck and playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck. You let yourself fall apart, let yourself tumble down and crack and weep, let fractured sentences slip out between sobs, unconcerned that you always leave them unfinished, because you know, no matter how far you break, Akaashi is there holding you together.

He never wavers. His breathing, his heartbeat, the calming strokes of his hands, all of it is steady. And he stays like this until your tears stop flowing, and your hiccups and sobs cease.

“Do you want to tell me the rest or do you want a distraction?”

“Distraction,” you barely manage to get out.

“A movie? A song? Do you want to hear about my day? Or have me tell you a story? Or---?”

“Just wanna hear your voice, Keiji.”

His heart doesn’t know what to do. You hear the way it thrums in his chest. Caught between melting apart at the sweet way you love him, at the knowledge that he can ease you, and breaking apart at how broken you sound.

“Alright, kitten. Let’s see… once upon a time, in a far off kingdom, there was….”

Akaashi continues to tell this little story. It’s mostly nonsense, but you love how his mind works. How he can spin beautiful stories for you whenever you need them.

When you hear him lose his thought, you chime in with a quick detail, your voice soft and raspy. It’s nothing like the stories he writes. These stories are far more special. He usually tells them to you when you’re having trouble sleeping, and you love the calm way he speaks, and the slight voices he does. You’re especially fond of the gentle way he pauses, waiting for you to name every character, or to say which creature the protagonists run into on their quest.

Tonight’s story was about a beautiful princess who, as always, shared your name or some variation of it. The story isn’t one you pay too much attention to, instead focusing on his heartbeat and the way his voice sounds deeper and garbled as it reverberates through his chest. Focusing on the way his body is wrapped around yours, and how safe it feels.

And after a little while, after a few twists and turns in the story, Akaashi manages to lull you to a peaceful sleep in his arms.

[firekyoshi]

i can't believe yall havent thought of a sambucky the handmaiden au LIKE GUYS LOOK AT THE POTENTIAL

okay if u haven't seen the handmaiden (2016) PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS ONE OF MY FAV MOVIES AND AS A BISEXUAL WOMAN ITS ONE OF MY FAVORITE MOVIES FEATURING SAPPHIC CHARACTERS

anyways here's a very self-indulgent sambucky the handmaiden! au that i wrote at midnight literally 7 hours before my exam

tw // mentions of suicide

- sam is sook-hee and bucky is hideko obvs

- sam is a criminal working for the power broker aka sharon while bucky or in this case, the winter soldier, was a test experiment for HYDRA / is now an assassin + bodyguard for their leader, alexander pierce

- sharon is conducting business w hydra to obtain some weapons and idk black market stuff which forces her to go to siberia, but obviously the ultimate weapon she wants to take home is the infamous winter soldier

- she asks sam to pretend to be her butler/bodyguard but is actually hiring him to get information on the winter soldier program and obtain the code words needed to control them

- they end up staying in pierce's mansion in like a really remote place in siberia

- sam gets acquainted w the other butlers and housekeepers, they tell him that the area is haunted because they would always hear a man screaming just before daybreak followed by complete silence. they also tell him that the forest is haunted by the spirit of a man who killed himself there

- just like the housekeepers said, sam wakes around 3-4 in the morning to the sound of a man screaming followed by complete silence

- anyways the next morning he accompanies sharon to her first meeting w hydra officials, and that's where he encounters bucky

- after the meeting, sharon is all like, "change of plans. we're going to steal the winter soldier." sam's like "and who's that?", "the person u were standing next to earlier,"

- afterwards, sam starts to spy on bucky. he doesn't talk much, sam notices, actually scratch that this man does not talk period

- they were standing by the door a few feet away from where their bosses were talking. "so uh, what do i call you?" sam asks one day, but bucky is like a statue, his response being a mere blink

- sharon and pierce always have their business meetings in the morning, but they also have spend time at night, usually supper or dinner, that's more casual. sam notices that pierce's bodyguard is less stiff and more human during the later hours of the day

- sam and bucky are again standing by the door. "what do i call you?" bucky asks quietly, almost like a whisper. "uh sam, you can call me sam. and you?"

- he freezes for a while before replying, "james barnes"

- another thing that sam notices is that bucky is NEVER alone. either he's with pierce or he's escorted by other bodyguards (who look like they couldn't even take him down altogether)

- one morning, after the usual distant screams, sam decides to figure out where the screams were actually coming from. he goes to the main house, pretending to bring tea for sharon (there's a small camera hidden in the tray)

- he sees the usual group of bodyguards escorting a half-naked and disheveled bucky from the stairs to the basement. when they see him, the group looks like a pack of deers in headlights, one of them reaches for their gun, "i'm bringing tea for ms. carter," he quickly says.

- "go ahead," the leader, rumlow, says, "but next time use the main hallway will you?"

- "right, she just said it was faster this way, and she's really peculiar about the temperature of her tea."

- he shows the video to sharon and she's like "i need u to find out wtf is going on in that basement."

- one night, sharon and pierce are having dinner tgt "since we're on the topic of legends and fairytales, i have to ask about something," sharon says,

- "go, on," pierce replies

- "the winter soldier program, does it really exist?"

- the hydra leader chuckles, "i was wondering when you would ask that," then points toward bucky, "my dear, you're looking at the winter soldier."

- sam listens in on the conversation. the winter soldier program was a program created by hydra in the 1940s with the first successful test subject being an american ww2 soldier named steve rogers. apparently he was given this serum that made him super strong and for 10 years, while the other test subjects were cryogenically frozen, hydra worked to find ways to control him but failed and they had to keep him restrained most of the time.

- one night, rogers broke out of the facility, stole all the remaining formulas, and threw them away before blowing his brains out in the nearby forest

- after rogers' suicide, hydra brought out its second test subject, bucky barnes, and used the remaining serum on him. afterwards hydra froze him again while they worked on something to keep his mind under control.

- around the 1960s they created the trigger words and since then they've been using bucky to do their dirty work for them. "this, my dear, is our greatest creation." pierce says as he approaches a stand displaying a red book. "his trigger words. say them and he will do anything you want. if you need some errands taken care of, i'd be happy to lend him to you. we can talk about the costs later."

- "i don't have anything i can't take care of myself at the moment, but i'll keep that offer in mind." sharon replies

- now sharon's like "okay we HAVE to steal him and the codes." she figured out that all of the mansion's surveillance turns off for an hour to reboot from 1 AM to 2, and tells sam to basically go to the basement and manipulate bucky when he's not under hydra's control. "make him trust you, that way we won't have much of a fuss taking him to madripoor."

- that night, after the clock strikes 1, sam sneaks into the basement and finds a cell with bucky inside. there's a bed, well, more like a mattress, but bucky's not sleeping on it. instead he's sitting in a corner, head against the wall, knees tucked in his chest, hyperventilating and,,,crying???

- "hey," sam whispers, "you okay?"

- the winter soldier stares at him with red rimmed eyes and a tear stricken face. "you're sam, you're her bodyguard."

- "yeah and you're the winter soldier, or do you prefer james?"

- "bucky. it's bucky"

- yeah basically sam visits bucky's cell every night for exactly 45 minutes before he has to sneak back out. he tries to gain bucky's trust and manipulate him but guess what they fall in love surprise surprise

- bucky tells sam his true story. how he and steve used to be ww2 soldiers that were experimented on by hydra. he remembers being frozen and the first thing he sees when they woke him up was steve's dead body. "they told me he shot his head in the forest." the first thing he felt was pain as they injected the serum into his veins then tried to erase his memories. he remembers going into cryo and being woken up over and over again to kill someone or destroy something.

- he also tells sam about the one night he broke out, ran as fast as he could, and jumped off a cliff, only for him to survive. he lost an arm, but hydra replaced it with another weapon. "i thought i would end there, but i just became more of a weapon"

- so sam starts to feel unsure about stealing the winter soldier bc goddamnit bucky's a person and he doesnt deserve any of this.

- also the more time he spends with bucky the more he realises that the actual james bucky barnes is a fucking piece of shit that still uses 40s slang and petnames and makes outdated jokes and is actually a big fucking flirt.

- and sam's heart breaks every time he looks at bucky's crestfallen face when he realises that their 45 minutes are over

- of all the people he could fall in love with, it just had to be a brainwashed assassin

- sharon tells him that in a few days, she and pierce will leave for a week to actually get the business transaction done. basically she tells sam that he should break bucky out of the mansion while they're away, take the trigger word book, and meet with torres so he can take them both to madripoor.

- while sharon and pierce leave, sam continues visiting bucky during the night. also he doesn't see bucky during the day bc they have no reason to bring him out of the cell, and he kinda misses him aw

- one night, he wakes up to noise, lots of it. everyone in the house is running. in the midst of all the chaos, sam hears, "find the soldier!"

- the first place sam goes to is the forest, and there he finds bucky kneeling by a frozen lake, with a gun in his hands. sam tackles him and throws the gun away

- "what the fuck were you thinking huh?!" sam shouts, tightly holding the front of bucky's shirt, and he can't help but cry at the thought of bucky's dead body. and all of a sudden he feels like shit. for manipulating bucky and taking advantage of his trauma for his own gain. so he gathers bucky in his arms and tells him everything. about what he and sharon were actually planning, what his true motivations were when he first went inside the basement, and how he actually grew to care for bucky

- bucky just laughs and says, "i know,” he reveals that sharon's plan all along was to take bucky and the trigger words for herself, and frame sam as the mastermind behind everything. she'll then fake bucky’s death and offer sam as another test subject for the winter soldier program as compensation for stealing (and “killing”) bucky

- "how do you know all this?"

- "she visited me the first night you arrived and we talked. she told me she'll take me away and all i had to do was manipulate you into breaking me out." bucky confesses, "i didn't realise you were a sweetheart, that made everything so complicated."

- anyways sam knocks bucky unconscious and basically helps hydra guards put him back in his cell. "just saying, maybe we shouldn't tell pierce abt this yknow" and the hydra guards r like yeah no totally cause if he knew we're all fucked

- anyways bucky and sam come up with a plan to escape together. sam contacts a friend known as baron helmut zemo, who's basically sharon's biggest enemy, but more importantly, owes sam a big ass debt and asks him to give the two of them safe passage to sokovia

- they plan to escape two nights before sharon and pierce return to siberia. on that night, sam wakes up at exactly 1 AM like he always does, and kills everyone in the house. he puts a bullet in every hydra guard, every housekeeper, everyone. he disables all the techs in the house, steals the trigger word book and breaks bucky out of his cell.

- "wait. there's something i have to show you." bucky says. he takes sam to the facility. the place where they tortured him and experimented on him. the place where every other test subjects were kept frozen.

- (if you've watched the handmaiden, yes this is a reference to the library scene) sam can't contain the anger he feels when he looks at the room. "is this where they tortured you? is this where the screams come from every night?"

- bucky nods. he points at a chair in the centre of the room, surrounded by machines and computers. "every morning they would drag me out of my cell, put me on that chair, and-" he swallows a choked sob, "and read the trigger words,"

- sam can't control it anymore. he grabs a metal rod and starts destroying the place. he breaks every machine, tearing them apart until they are nothing more than wires and buttons. he kills all the frozen test subjects, because they deserve better than this. he rips apart the pages of the winter soldier's mission reports, and gathers them into a pile.

- from afar, bucky watches as sam lights up the pile and everything in front of him starts to burn. when sam turns to look at him, he can't help but think about how magnificent he looks as the fire roars behind him. his hero. his guardian angel. his sam.

- sam approaches bucky and pulls him in for a hungry kiss. something he feels he should've done earlier. "no one will ever control you again." he says, and for once its a promise that bucky believes in.

- sam reaches in his bag and pulls out the red book. bucky starts to cry bc no one, not even before hydra, had ever loved him like this. "i mean it. no one." sam says. bucky throws the book in the fire and watches and both paper and leather melt into ash

- the end they escape using zemo's private jet and live happily ever after haha

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

so i’d really like to finish my guardian takedown lore analysis, but honestly the game isn’t really fun to play at the moment anymore (even with the health debuffs they added) so I think im going to be taking a break for now because I’m just not having fun anymore.

this game has a lotta mechanical problems i think need to be addressed so im gonna summarize it as bullet points below. I’ll play the new dlc when it drops, but idk if i’ll be on more than that (grinding, end-game stuff) until they make some serious changes. I’ve been playing (near) daily since launch, followed the patch/hotfix notes every single week, and my patience has finally, FINALLY run dry, especially with that really disappointing Phase 1 Patch and then the hotfix this week not adding anything else. What is the balancing team doing??? 😩

tl;dr: FIX THE VAULT HUNTERS!!!!

anyway. That’s all I needed to get outta my system. I might log on to this blog every now and again to post some random shit that pops into my head (probably with regards to my AU), but I’m not going to be actively playing and posting for the time being. Goodbye (for now), and here’s hoping the new DLC is good!! 

guardian takedown only problems:

there’s a lot of waiting around, and sometimes it’s not explicitly stated that you’re waiting for something, so you’ll be lost on what to do next (not sure if that’s a dialogue glitch or not)

the crystal charge insta-death is bull. just. what the hell. at least make it so you just have to start over. killing ur players for failing a “puzzle” that they then have to fight all the way back to is so infuriating.

dying because you fell off a platforming puzzle is also bull. 

i remember playing the first DMC on my playstation in middle school and having a conniption over the part in the observatory(? it’s been a hot minute since I played DMC 1) with the disappearing/invisible platforms. I h a t e jumping puzzles. why are they in a section of the game where death is semi-permanent and a detriment to your teammates. i tried the takedown 2x with friends and both times one friend didn’t make the first big jump to the temple and had to wait for our inevitable deaths. that’s so unfair to them.

there’s absolutely no reason for a boss to have 12 fuckin immunity phases. 4 per health bar with 3 health bars? Who the fuck designed this? *pumps shotgun* i just wanna talk. 

i appreciate a tasteful immunity phase every now and again (the ones in the Valkyrie fight are actually p reasonable), but christ. that is overkill. I don’t mind the main boss fight, since u can end those early through certain actions, but jesus. the mid-boss fight is annoying as hell. you spend more time running from the immunity phases and finding the damn boss than u do actually shooting it.

drop rates are crap, which I guess should be expected given what happened with the Maliwan Takedown and the handful of months it took for them to fix that, but also you think they’d have learned.

in the maliwan takedown there’s a sense of progression thru the facility after you kill each area’s batch of enemies, but in this one it’s... dampened by the crystal charging sequences. you kill all the enemies in an area, press a button, and now you have to kill 3x that number of enemies in the same area, expect you’re just standing there motionless. It’s not fun.

the crystal charging stuff is just not fun in general. standing in a square is not entertaining. it’s worse that it was clearly designed for 3+ players when a majority of people play/grind solo

i gotta admit the boss fights just aren’t as fun as the Maliwan Takedown fights overall. I felt like a real badass fighting Wotan for the first time, but the main boss for this Takedown is kind of a bitch. Wotan’s fight is chaos, there’s so much shit happening at once and you don’t really have time to process everything and I love it. This one is p meh...

This would be fine and I’d 100% not care that much if there weren’t all these OTHER problems

General Issues with the Game

There’s no endgame stuff to play outside of the takedowns. 

I assume they’re working on the first raid given some stuff I found in the Guardian Takedown files, but I really wish they’d keep the seasonal events/areas. They give us the option to disable/enable them while they’re ‘active’, just give us the ability to do it whenever we want.

when i hop on i either run through Athenas (my favorite map), or farm a boss or two. I have all the loot i really need from the maliwan takedown/elsewhere, and the guardian takedown just... isn’t fun atm, so i have nothing to do.

I’ve reset my playthru multiple times to play the main story at m10, but u can only play it (and the dlc) so many times

Mayhem levels and modifiers are a hot m e s s

a majority of the modifiers just aren’t fun to play with

they incorporated like 2-3 fun modifiers (from the community), then added a bunch that straight-up aren’t. I’m fine with the game being more difficult, but at least give us modifiers that make it more entertaining to play at a higher level instead of more annoying. I like the ones that have trade-offs or add new ‘enemies’, but I hate the ones that just straight up reduce your damage output.

a majority of the weapons with the mayhem 10 anointment (scaling) do not work on mayhem 10 (we’ll go more in-depth with this later)

Player Characters (Vault Hunters!!!) are also a hot mess and a lot of problems plaguing them haven’t been fixed SINCE LAUNCH

theyre literally the basis of the game and its balance. why havent you guys fixed them yet. stop adding new content until they’re fixed. no new skill trees until the base 3 trees work ON EVERY CHARACTER.

seriously. Why is amara p much limited to using Phasegrasp. Why does Iron Bear not matter to Moze except to proc anointments. MAKE ALL ACTION SKILLS EQUAL AND HAVE HEFT.

i wrote an essay here about it bc i feel that strongly about this

SERIOUSLY FIXING UR VAULT HUNTERS WILL MAKE BALANCING SO MUCH EASIER PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU THEY ARE THE BASE OF UR BALANCING WOES

ZANE IS STILL UNUSABLE WITHOUT THE SEEIN’ DEAD CLASS MOD!!!!!!!!!!!

MOZE IS SCREWED BC HER DAMAGE IS TOO RELIANT ON ASE ANOINTMENTS!!

AMARA DOESN’T HAVE A FUCKING MELEE BUILD AS THE ADVERTISED MELEE CHARACTER???

FL4K’S HEADCOUNT SKILL IS S T I L L BROKEN EVER SINCE THE RELEASE OF THE MALIWAN TAKEDOWN

ARE YOU GUYS LISTENING TO THE COMMUNITY *PLEASEEEEEEE*

BUFF AND FIX THE GODDAMN VAULT HUNTERS

Anointments were a mistake. Damage end-game is wayyyy too reliant on them

anoints should have a maximum of, like, a 20% damage bonus. the damage necessary to kill enemies *should be coming from the VHs themselves*. i don’t care if you have to revamp every single Vault Hunter’s skill trees and buff them all by 9000%. THEY DESERVE IT AT THIS POINT

at the moment in m10 there really isn’t much build diversity *even between Vault Hunters*. We’re all using the same 5 guns (OPQ System. Kaoson. idk. fuckin brainstormer? is that still a thing? jesus fuck) with the same 3 anointments (100% on ASE, cryo while SNTL, and 300% while 90%).

you want to diversify builds like you said during the gameplay reveal???? you want our choice in Vault Hunter to actually fuckin matter???? FIX THEM!!!! THEY SHOULD BE ABLE TO DEAL DAMAGE WITHOUT STUPID POWERFUL LEGENDARIES AND ANOINTMENTS!!!

Anoints also shouldn’t be common. At all. They should be, like, Pearl rarity. To let that happen, their damage needs to be tuned way the fuck down (again, 20ish % bonus MAX) and ALL ANOINTS NEED TO BE USEFUL IN SOME WAY

NOBODY IS GOING TO USE THE AIRBORNE OR SLIDING ANOINTMENTS JUST REMOVE THEM ALREADY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

obviously these changes can’t happen because they fucked up and buckled down with everything being anointed in m10, but still

imagine a world where the VHs actually did damage on their own without anointments and the damage buff from them was just an incentive to grind for the 100% perfect weapon and NOT A REQUIREMENT TO DEAL DAMAGE

>:(

A majority of gear is borderline worthless at M10

I’m fine with the difficulty of M10, i should let it be known. The enemy health isn’t really the problem IF ALL GUNS ACTED THE SAME AS THE OPQ SYSTEM

ffs.

you know, if you fixed ur vault hunters so they all did damage with just purple weapons (abt the same damage as legendaries w/o special effects) and removed the anointment requirement from late-game play, balancing your guns would be sooo much easier. you know. just saying.

right now only 10% (im being generous) of guns in the game are viable. 90% are worthless. We need AT LEAST 60-70% viable at M10. WHERE IS MY BUILD DIVERSITY. WHY ARE ALL LEGENDARIES NOW JUST “HEY THIS GUN IS STRONGER THAN THE LAST 4 WE RELEASED. HAVE FUN”

how to fix this problem? do as above: BUFF YOUR PLAYER CHARACTERS. MAKE ANOINTMENTS LESS STRONG.

then, at least the 10% already strong weapons would be stupid strong and OP as fuck, BUT AT LEAST WE COULD HAVE BUILD VARIETY!!! I don’t care if other people are dummy strong one-shotting everything in sight. I don’t! so long as they don’t play with me, I couldn’t care less!!! I want to be able to play with the unique, interesting legendaries. instead of the OPQ System. which, by the way, I dislike compared to the normal Q-System. let me use the frozen heart shield and the infiltrator mod. I don’t wanna be chained to the Seein’ Dead anymore :(

honestly at this point im starting to think removing slag was a mistake bc then at least we could use guns that aren’t solely damage-based guns. you know how fucked up you’ve got me that im thinking maybe slag wouldn’t be so bad this time around??? YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP B A D.

FIX THE GAME

IM TAKING A BREAK

MAYBE I’LL BE LESS UPSET WHEN I COME BACK FOR THE DLC BUT HOT. DIGGITY. SHIT.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[justkpopjokes]

Nice to Meet You, Angel. || Demon!Joshua

Ft. Joshua/Jisoo(s Chri—actually no, the complete opposite)

Anon: Demon Joshua😏

A/N: This AU has gone through 4 whole plot rewrites rip. kinda inspired by Good Omens!! (also 2 aus in a week?? whaaaaaat)

!! This is a gender neutral!reader fluff with 1945 words~ !!

Before we begin the plot, lemme quickly go through the basics of the universe

yayy lin’s doing world building again

there are angels and demons in the universe, simply just the optional jobs of people’s souls once they die

if they choose this job, they don't remember much of their life on Earth, but they do remember events they associate w/strong emotions bc it helps them

for ex. an angel could remember how sad a death made them feel so they know to prevent it

and a demon can remember how angry a bully made them felt so they can make people that level angry

both angels & demons take the form of their bodies when they were alive and roam on Earth

they can also return to Heaven/Hell and observe Earth from their respective realms

also yes demons can be summoned, but lmao you can also just give em a phone call via incantation

the angel equivalent to this phone call is praying

demons can pretty much do anything as long as it relates somehow to the Seven Deadly Sins (pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, sloth)

angel powers are more holy/good, and they can grant things in prayers if they choose, etc

Anyway, YOU KNOW THIS BOI??

THiS bOi sHUa

he's chill af for a demon ok

one of the first demons so like no one really knows how he’s a demon bc he’s so polite

there’s some speculation that he was one of the first to fall but like

what the hell did he do???

But also some say he became a demon out of spite bc he saw a demon commit a “sin” that actually helped someone

so he became a demon just to help people in a more… unholy way

and then he was upset angels hated him just because he was a demon

like wow spirit discrimination

NOW YOU—

you are an angel (literally)

you’re the angel that protects like. atheists/"non-believers" bc c'mon just because they don’t believe in God/gods doesn’t mean they shouldn't have access to that protection service

(yes hello you’re calling APS, the Angel Protection Service sponsored by God, how may I help you?)

so yeah you’re pretty chill yourself since you have to constantly deal with people who don't believe in you lol

One fine day, you were listening to a prayer from a sick college student

ok it wasn't really a prayer but they were like "oh please, my god, let me get some sleep tonight"

you gladly put them to sleep and they slept soundly at night

when you checked on them the next morning, you noticed—

A dEmON?!?

…lying right next to the student (but above the covers, he has boundaries), who isn't stirring at all

if the leather jacket and ripped jeans didn't tip you off, he had some horns on his head to confirm ur suspicions

You: "Hey what in the world are you doing here?!"

???: "What? If they get up rn they won't be able to pay attention in class. I'm letting them rest first"

You: "Wha—who—okay, okay okay… who are you?"

"I’m Joshua, nice to meet you, angel"

Shua knows he has the name of an angel so afterwards he's like. Don't get it confused bish.

you ask him what he's doing, and basically, he's using the sin sloth on this sicko student so they stay in bed and recover instead of going to class

Even tho you feel iffy abt letting a demon affect a human right in front of you, an angel, you are a bit intrigued

you haven't seen a demon use their powers for good before…

who is this guy??

anyway he disappears, presumably to Hell, once the student needs to wake up

which is when u miracle them some bread to get

But don't worry, you're destined to meet again~

which you did, on several occasions

and ok maybe you were glad to talk to someone who was actually interesting

so, yknow,,, if another angel was like "hey y/n uhh there's a demon… bothering? someone? idk but it's a non-believer, that's ur jurisdiction right"

you had a guess on who this demon was…

…and you were right

Joshua: "Oh hey angel"

You: "Ew, you make it sound like a pet name"

JS: "Well I don't know your name, do I?"

You: "Oh. Right. It's Y/N."

he still calls you angel tho, smh that flirt

y'all just bicker and/or chat for a bit whenever u go help the same person

Like one time when he insisted that you let him use gluttony on a teen so they'd eat a lot of ice cream that day

they had just been through a bad break up so u let it slide

Or another time he used wrath on a timid kid so they could stand up to a bully

all of these ended w/you two bickering while walking away

There was this little girl you were watching from heaven who was writing a letter to "Whoever Can Do This"

little girl started listing a bunch of things, which you assumed were toys

but then you realized it was actually stuff like food, friends, a puppy, a loving dad who will go out to the park with her—

so u go down there to check on this lil child

…and that's when you see a familiar leather jacket watching over her and suggesting other things to write

you can’t see him from heaven so ur like gosh darn it I should’ve known

"Joshua?? I should've known it was—"

*cue both shua and the child turning around*

JS: "Oh hey, nice to see you, angel"

Lil' Nugget: *GASP* "Mr. Josh is this ur s/o???"

JS: "Hm? Oh, I mean, no, but um…"

You: "Josh what have u been putting into this one's head…"

Shua's all like "greed! Her dad's been ignoring her since her mom died so we're writing a list of things she wants"

then the smol girl smiles so wide and is like "Mr. Josh is helping me! He's my new friend!!"

ur like awww dangit ok I'll let it slide if u let me help

Once she finishes it, Josh hands the girl's list over to you

he explains quietly he wants you to miracle her dad to pay attention+love his daughter again so they can have/do all the other things on the list

you read it over again and do just that

The little girl gives the list to her father, your miracle allowing them to have a fun afternoon eating ice cream and playing with her toys

And you and Josh have a nice time too~

once y'all left that girl's room, he invited you for some soda

"Coke? I hope you mean Coca Cola"

"Yeah, uh, there's a place with a vending machine not too far from here. We can walk"

You don't spend time on Earth often, but you learn as you walk w/Josh that he "prefers the air up here"

mainly bc he doesn't fit in with the other demons, but he also just likes spending time with humans

(obviously tho he needs to go down to hell occasionally for like conferences and such)

you don't remember if you've ever been on a date before lol

Josh doesn't either, but he does remember how jumbled up ur emotions get, which he is not ready for

then again of course he has, I mean look at that charm

however, you can't remember if the feeling you get when going on ur little date with Shua is love :/

it isn’t really, but just bc this is ur first “date,” so it makes sense

But Josh makes sure to take you out again… for dinner!!!

you were investigating the use of lust and pride at the same time

of course, it was just Josh helping a guy find someone to hook up with

you were kinda disgusted and wanted to leave, so shua gladly took your arm and pulled you away to a restaurant!

y’all had a nice dinner, paying with some money Josh had collected

and then you went to walk together and chat some more

he’s breathtaking, and he actually wants to spend time with you despite y’all being on opposite sides of an inevitable war

You don’t care, going on more dates just to talk and not have to care about ur jobs and other stuff

Shua hears you yell “what the hell” at some point and he’s like woAH you can say that???

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not really polite, but I can. Can you say ‘Thank God?’”

“‘Thank God?’ Well look at that, I can. Good point”

you love him because he’s so chill and doesn’t give a f*** abt anything

except you and humans, apparently

like he could’ve burned or smth by saying “Thank God” or be confined to the basement of Hell for helping people/talking with you, but he doesn’t care lmao

However, no one really knows you’ve been talking with a demon tho so uhhh

when they do you get in a little bit of trouble w/the archangels

ur boss was essentially like “y/n what the HECK are you doing?!? you’re on thin ice rn”

you get mad at him, trying to defend Joshua

and you’re right in doing so, since he just wants to help people with a different set of powers

ur archangel boss sends you back down to Earth, saying you can’t return to Heaven until they work smth out

(they probably want to burn you with Hell fire)

You warn Josh, knowing they might burn you

he’s adamant on keeping you with him, so y’all try to hide or smth

which won’t work of course, but you can try, right?

right?

Shua and you sit together on a bench, with you leaning on his shoulder

“Joshua… I’m scared, I don’t want to be burned!”

“Don’t worry y/n, it’ll be okay. I love you, angel, nothing bad will happen”

and just like that, you remember what it feels like to love

“You’re right. I love you too. Help the non-believers for me if I go, alright?”

“I’ll help them just for you.”

Your archangel boss is smart, knowing the worst punishment for you is to be reincarnated without memories

you wouldn’t remember Joshua at all

and when he drags u back up to Heaven, you want to cry

do angels cry holy water? anyway

you’re sent back to Earth as a baby that can’t fend for itself

You remember nothing.

You’ve recently graduated from college and are out looking for a job

you’ve gotten rejected and fired so many times

for ex. just now, after you were arguing with someone who spoke another language that you didn’t know and there was no translator available

the customer wasn’t willing to cooperate either, ignoring your attempts to use an online translator smh

it’s late and you’re tired, so you leave, angry, and start coughing frantically when you inhale too much smoke coming from the alley next to you

naturally, you’re like “What the hell?! Dude, you’re not supposed to be smoking this close to an entrance!”

“Why do you care? You don’t work here anymore”

you take a better look at the stranger once he steps into the light of a nearby lamppost

it’s a dude in a leather jacket and ripped jeans who drops his cigarette

“Need help getting a job, y/n?”

“how do you—what—who are you?”

he extends a hand out to you, which you shake reluctantly

“I’m Joshua. Nice to meet you, angel.”

[yeunbins]

Hii!! Do u take in request which has a makeout session? If you don't, it's okay. Can I request a scenario where Yoonbin and Y/n is having a lazy day and they started making out?

Could u write something spicy abt yoonbin with number 27? ps. Love your writing 💖💖😭

27. “Kiss me.”

genre: spicy 👀

pairing: yoonbin x reader

a/n: btw i combined two requests so its not redundant and i hope it gets the best of both worlds soo yee yee + i’m feeling lazy to write a full on scenario so here’s a bulleted version ++ this was made literally in the middle of the night and i’m sleepy so zoinks

song rec w this: woo ah – crush + i’m not sorry – dean ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

joshua, pass me the holy water

ok so hello

its the week before christmas

and our treasure bois are given a week off

since christmas is time to spend with family :D

but our homeboi here had the time to spend it a day earlier with drum roll pls...

y o u!!

he pulls up nothing but sweats and a big ass hoodie

“hey baby” he greets, putting the snacks he bought on ur kitchen counter

he spots u on the couch watching reruns of victorious

so he plops down right next to you

almost like it was programmed, he automatically wraps his arms around u

“so...” - u start

“wheres my christmas present” - u finish

yoonbin was taken a back since he didnt really feel the need to buy u anything since

u can buy whatever u want???

or he just doesn’t know what to get and he’s vvv busy

cut him sum slack bois

“i’m ur present” he smiles at you

“what a shit present then” - u joke

and he THREW A FIT

“wOW so this is what i get after working my ass off and my girl won’t even find time to literally give me the love i deserve i’m gonna cry i cant believ–“ he rambles

“just shut up and kiss me douchebag” - u smack his chest

“ o h ??” - yoonbin

and since he couldnt take the damn hint

u pressed ur lips on his

netflix n chill ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) lmao im sorry

kissing him was literally everything for u

so,,,, he holds your face

andddd his hands start to go down 👇🏻

TO YOUR HIPS

he moves to his lap where he could,,,

hold u more securely??

yeah

he breaks a part, looking at ur flushed face

before attacking ur neck

with small butterfly kisses

and he finally finds ur sweet spot

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

and he sucks on it

yall know how it is

ur hands fly to his floofy hair

tugging on it

and now u hold HIS face

so ur the naega boss now uwu

idk man im sleepy

ok so u take the lead

next thing u know ur leaning on the couch arm rest

and ur man, yoonbin hovering above you

you two finally break apart

and just stare at each other

before bursting out laughing

“i love youu~” u blushed, covering your face

“i can’t believe we just made out on your couch, IN FRONT OF NETFLIX” he says dramatically

and u kissed him to shut him up

the end

oH MY GOD THIS WAS A PAIN IN THE ASS TOWNRITE DJISIFIDJMSOFKDNAJ GOODNIGHT FELLAS

[fancybois]

So a few weeks ago Sophie ( @buzzfeedworthit​) and I came up with this AU based off of the In Control With Kelsey Worth It episodes and she complied it. It’s not a fleshed out fic at all but the idea is there and it would be a dope long length fic 

Vampire!andrew’s outfit from the sims

He’s a vampire gang boss (?) who runs an underground gambling ring/casino behind a restaurant

Casino is v fabulous and opulent

Steven is a rookie detective who is trying to take down the upper crusts

Upper crusts are an organization involved in bribery/financial corruption in local politics posing as a food club

Steven asks around and is referred to andrew

Steven goes to the underground casino trying not to reek of cop to meet andrew

He is v intimidated but andrew is such a character who loves cats and immediately takes to steven “yeah i do crime but what r u gonna do abt it if u need my help” dynamic

Steven begrudgingly moves forward w getting andrew’s help and andrew makes him part of the crew so he can go undercover

TENSION everyone else can feel too

Andrew’s underlings just roll their eyes every time andrew tries to flirt w steven but steven just thinks that is how andrew is

He gets flustered anyway

Underlings @ andrew: ur getting awful close to him, boss… whats ur game here

Andrew wants to drinks stevens blood too but in a sexy way

Eventually they infiltrate upper crusts

Steven starts a thing w sophia to get close to the mom (leader) for info

Andrew is salty

Steven confronts andrew about why he is so pissy and tension keeps mission from really making any progress bc of petty things andrew does bc he is jealous

Steven: andrew, this is my case i gotta do this tf

Andrew sabotages every interaction w sophia

Jealous? Logical next step? Kill the competition (andrew considers)

Conveniently, andrew finds out sophias treachery and that she has found out abt steven and andrew’s true intentions w upper crusts and esp her mother

S and A find out theyve been compromised and andrew offers to “take care of her”

Steven is like wtf no?!

Steven: ANDREW NO

Andrew: ANDREW YES

Andrew: trust me

But steven is adamant that andrew cant kill her so he turns her which forces her to switch allegiance to s and a and join A’s coven

So steven sees vampire!andrew in action and THATS how he finds out A is a vampire and  is like i didnt sign up for this shit

Andrew is like im pretty sure u approached me sweetie

Turning someone into a vampire looks to be a sensual thing w sharing blood

With loyalty from sophia they get the info they need on her mom but it also makes steven jealous that she is now in andrew’s coven (involves doing vampire rituals together and just more time spent together doing vampire shit)

Prompts steven to reevaluate his feelings and deal w shock of finding out andrews… condition (and realises that andrew spending time w sophia bothers him but not because he is into sophia….hmmm)

Im jealous of my ex fake gf???

Eventually comes to terms w it but is convinced andrew is not into him bc he has read all their interactions as andrew being flirty w everyone is just his personality

Also how could be possibly be w a vampire--one who already has a lady vampire conveniently in his coven

Steven decides he needs distance

Ignores andrew

Angst ensues

Decides he has enough info and it is time to get the boss of upper crusts and take her down

Problem is andrew is his only ally but steven is not thinking clearly and goes after her by himself

Gets into dangerous situation

PLOT TWIST: dangerous situation is that clara has control over bernard and she commands Bernard to possess steven

Compels steven (bernard as steven) to do bad shit

Then he is made out to be bad guy after getting caught doing crime

Gets arrested and cops think he has been feeding info to baddies or is even a baddie boss himself (of upper crusts which effectively stops cops being interested in them bc they think they caught the boss)

Ryan and shane are cops and they have to arrest steven even tho theyre friends and it is sad “how could u steven”

Andrew knows something is wrong, this isnt steven and he confronts clara willing to do anything to get bernard out of steven

He confronts clara in mysterious and tense and elegant meeting at jazz bar

Andrew: cut the shit clara what did u do

Clara sippin that martini “shame about your lover but bernard is so enjoying himself”

Andrew is like wtf so hes possessed???

Clara: u have something of mine

Andrew: ur daughter isnt a possession?? (andrew and sophia have bonded and are homies by this time)

Becomes apparent clara doesnt give a shit abt her daughter and just thinks it would be beneficial to have a vampire for upper crusts’ dynamic

Andrew goes to sophia and tells her what happened

Sophia knows he loves steven so she agrees saying it will be ok and a good chance to re-infiltrate

Bernard leaves steven and then she waits til the right moment and BLEEDS HER MOM DRY

Clara: go get ur man, andrew

Steven is locked up and andrew seeks out ryan and shane and tells them everything

But hes a criminal and as a consequence of approaching the PD he gets taken in

Steven is disoriented when bernard leaves his body (violent exit, body wracking, vomiting) and he is suddenly like What am i doing here what is happening??

Andrew has explained but nobody believes possession (cops r like yeah wow that was quite the stomach flu steven had)

So andrew is like: fine… and bc he needs to redeem steven he owns up to everything and says he was controlling steven

So steven gets let out as andrew is booked

They tell steven he was being “controlled” but the term means different things to the police and to steven (bc he knows he was at least blacked out)

Leaving steven heartbroken that he was manipulated (the tale andrew told to save steven)

Steven goes to confront andrew

Why, if any of their tension was real

Andrew responds by speaking in code that yes it was real and that he lied to get steve out so that he can finish the mission (and bc he loves steven)

Steven is confused but goes to sophia who tells him what the code means and helps plan to break andrew out

Steven is ready to do illegal shit and break laws to get andrew out bc love

Steven could confess to his undercover work and tell everyone that andrew was helping

What andrew was booked for no longer valid bc govt sanctioned task to help them bring down actual culprits

Andrew knows that steven doing illegal shit would change steven and he doesnt want steven to do that and convinces him otherwise and do do (above) rather than jailbreak and run away together

Suddenly Steven and andrew told theyre good to go and steven is like how? (he was in middle of planning how to explain but doesnt have means to prove it bc it was super under cover and involves supernatural)

Suddenly rie (police boss) comes out as the one who assigned steven the task and backs him up (thus why they were let free)

Upper crusts taken down w info provided by sophia- paper trail bc clara is gone leaving everyone in gang in disarray

Someone had tried to step up and strongman it by ordering a hit on another group to strengthen their position but it goes awry bc they suck at crime and leadership

BUT dun dun hit is on andrew and steven

Could one of them die???

Upper crusts set up a hit and then sophia tells S and A bc she had stayed on and so they set up a trap

BUT audience doesn’t know that sophia has told them and helped them so threat of ch death hangs

Lets hit go thru and then it is explained that they knew and baddie is like WTF man

Sophia had to let it go until last minute in order to catch rest of crusts and involve PD

Case ends and epilogue is S and A in hawaii (classic) one brings the other a drink and they kiss before being like u ready?? And steven is like u bet babe (bc they’re actually there for a mission as crime fighting duo)

THE END <3

[mingyaus]

most h8td

pairing lucas x reader

summary Sincerity. Honesty. When is it too much? You contemplate whether you’ve crossed a line with your soft mans bf lucass. 

genre fluff and only real angst if u think abt it too much

word count 1.2k

“Wait why do you always talk so trash about him?”

“Him? Your boyfriend? Wait, I mean your ex-boyfriend? I told you it would never last.”

“Shut up. At least I was the one who stopped it.” Jihyo rolls her eyes and glares at you for bringing up the topic of her latest failed relationship. “But back to what I was saying! Your boyfriend. I don’t even know if I should call him your boyfriend though with all the bad things you say about him. Do you like him at all?”

“Lucas?” You raise an eyebrow.

“Who else are you dating? I swear to God, you don’t deserve this boy. If you knew all the hard work he puts into everything he does for you. You know that surprise party for your birthday? Yeah, he called me up multiple times trying to get all the details right. Once he did it during his like dumb two minute lunch break, like what type of boss gives a 2 minute lunch break? But he puts so much effort into your relationship and you just talk trash about him all the time!” She’s rambling, talking fast. It’s like she’s using your relationship to cope with the loss of hers. But you don’t blame her for being concerned. You really do trash talk Lucas at any opportunity you get, though she doesn’t know how you’re like when it’s just you and Lucas (which actually ends up with you two trash talking her ex or trash talking your exes).

“He talks bad about me too!” You try to think of a time, but huff. “Wait, nevermind. He’s too sweet.”

“Yeah, see. Treat him better before he leaves you.”

And that warning Jihyo gave stayed in your head for like two weeks when you finally decided to do something about the guilt that was building up in your stomach. That guilt ended up manifesting itself into cramps during the first day of your period. This day also happened to be one of the few days both you and Lucas were able to pull time out of your busy schedules to hang out together. Though your aching stomach and his deadline induced headache forced you two to stay cooped up in Mark’s (who last minute had to fly out to Vancouver for something he didn’t have enough time to explain to you, but he did have enough time to give you his keys and ask you to house/catsit) apartment.

“I’m sorry we have to stay here. Your place is nicer.”

“I know, it’s really nice.” He’s not being modest, but he deserves to brag because with all his hard work and networking skills he was able to be the first among your friends to get his own place. No roommates, no loans. He smiles taking a seat on the loveseat facing the coffee table with Mark’s 15-inch laptop serving as a TV screen. “At least, he stayed logged into his Netflix account for us.”

“I don’t think that was for us, but I don’t mind messing with Mark’s queue for our entertainment purposes.” You plop down sitting close to Lucas as he leans forward to create a guest account.

“I’m not that mean. That’s why I’m making this separate account.” He grins back at you as he searches for something to watch. You don’t argue like you usually would. It’s that guilt kicking in. And that guilt stops you from making a comment when Lucas finally chooses something, leans back, and starts grabbing your thigh in that freaky strangely non-sexual way he does with everyone.

The next time you say something aside from “Bathroom break!” is when your one of your legs has fallen asleep, and it’s all tangled up around his body because you two get so wrapped up when cuddling. On the tip of your tongue is “Get up, loser, I need to stretch my legs.” But you’re not going to say that because the guilt Jihyo planted in you, so instead you make up this other dumb excuse.

“Hey, can you just stand up, and can I just hug you?” You ask in the nicest tone you can conjure up right now. He shuffles trying to look into your face, and now some part of his body is rubbing against your dead leg and just making everything worse than it should be.

“Uh, but we’re laying down so comfortably.”

“But you’re just so tall and nice to hug.”

“Yeah, but I feel so comfortable with you like this.” Somehow, he gets his long arms around your torso and squeezes you tight.

“But I need a hug.”

“I’m hugging you right now.”

“It’s not the same.” You pout, and simultaneously try to shake your leg, but you can’t. “Please, just stand up.”

You two go back and forth whining at each other like this for a few more minutes until something that Jihyo would probably scold you for slips out of your mouth.

“You should just stand up and hug me because that’s what good boyfriends do.” You curse. You’ve broken this unsaid promise you made to yourself to be nice to Lucas for at least one night. He’s still looking at you and can clearly see your true frustrated expression.

“Are you okay, Y/N?” He looks concerned, those sweet puppy eyes looking into yours.

“I—no.” You sigh, looking down avoiding his prodding gaze.

“What’s wrong?” And you explain to him the whole conversation about how verbally abusive you can be, and how the guilt has been affecting you, and how you’re starting to think you don’t deserve Lucas. He’s laughing a little by the time you're done explaining everything. “I’m not that good of a boyfriend.”

“Eh, I mean you are. You write me daily notes and when you can’t give me them physically you hoard them until you can fill an envelope to the max with them and mail them to me. Like who does that? Like who wants to pay for stamps?”

“Okayyy. I guess I am a good boyfriend.” You finally have the courage to look at him again and see his face smiling and bright as ever, obviously still overjoyed about the praise.

“Don’t let that get to your head.” You snap, but kiss him on the cheek showing the praise still stands.

“Okay, see.” He raises his eyebrows at you and pulls away so you can see. “You know your limits. You aren’t abusive, you’re just honest. I know you love me.”

You smile, and spend like a few minutes kissing him before feeling some tingling in your leg reminding you it’s asleep. “Wait, okay, I actually need to get up. My leg fell asleep, though I would still appreciate that hug.”

He shakes his head.

“But, Lucas! You’re supposed to be a good boyfriend.” You whine.

“I am, you just told me. Don’t tell me you were lying!” Lucas is mocking shock.

“You’re great, but I love your hugs.” He pulls you into a sitting hug, and you pull away, though no one can escape his long arms. “Your standing hugs.”

He pouts, looking at you sadly. Then he lets out a yawn, his breath hitting your face. As you’re cringing he gets up and you hear the bathroom door close. You get up, upset that he would get up without giving you that hug you’re now craving for real.

“Lucas! What the heck?”

“I guess I’m just a bad boyfriend.” You can hear the smirk in his mouth from his muffled voice behind the bathroom door.

author’s note yeah, it’s kinda named after that jay park song, but i’ve never read its lyrics so idk if it has anything to do w it *shrug* :)

masterlist

[holydepths-blog]

✩ watergate :3

this took too fucking long

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? i feel like emma cos she’s more angry dramatic and he’s more emo dramatic but i was also gonna say he probably should to accomodate for his heightWho threatens to leave but never actually does? neither of them, they’ve both left one another repeatedly. Who actually keeps their word and leaves? both of them, see above. Who trashes the house? i don’t think either of them … i can’t see him ever doing it but if he did she would kick his ass things need to be NEAT Do either of them get physical? basement gate tease ! but no … it’s soft ….  that’s been erased from my memory … they’re emo not violent  How often do they argue/disagree? all the time but about #dumb shit nowadays … used to be more serious but now? you like chocolate ice cream better? … idiot  Who is the first to apologise? if they had a penny for every time mickey has apologised to her both of them could quit their low salary jobs and move to france 

Sex:

Who is on top? bold of u to assume they aren’t both switches Who is on the bottom? ^Who has the strangest desires? Any kinks? mind ur fucking business … snuggling is a kink Who’s dominant in bed? i don’t think dominant has ever been in either of their vocabulary where’s the john mulaney gif abt soup in the lap … regaurdless … probably he has to be she’s babyIs head ever in the equation? she suck the dick for free and mickey is a good boy, he knows how to go down on a womf If so, who is better at performing it? i don’t know how sex works is it easier to eat thrussy or suck a dick … they both try the only thing that matters is that once he said she was better at sex than [ redacted ] Ever had sex in public? private public … like not dressing room public but like, romantic lookout in a car public … hope no coppers come 2 shine their flashlight Who moans the most? idk if this is my sexism or my lesbian but women should, legally, be required to moan more than menWho leaves the most marks? he better swallow his masculinity and get used to concealer but i feel like that wld not be an issue for him, king ! he can’t borrow hers though it won’t match Who screams the loudest? WHO YELLSWho is the more experienced of the two? mickey. fucking duh. Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they make love :3Rough or soft? soft … unlike his penis How long do they usually last? haha 8 seconds joe goldberg tease? idk how long sex even lasts in general …. solidly average is my guess Is protection used? he better wrap it before he taps it my girl cannot afford plan b . so yesDoes it ever get boring? not …. boring but ….. consistent. when emma gets too drunk she asks odette for sex advice bc she doesn’t want to bore ickey Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? nowhere is strange if ur brave enough.

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? …. yes ….If so, how many children do your muses want/have? she wants 27 children actually but literally anything from 1-30 will suffice …. they need a lot of help on his inevitable farm Who is the favorite parent? mickey is the fun parent so u already know who it is Who is the authoritative parent? REMEMBER the clip i sent u from the marky mark movie … she’s always the bad guy until he gets #fedup and he has to remind her that she’s not doing it this time AJSDKF Who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? honeslty both of them unless emma hoards all the candy … selfish  Who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? both of them they make fucking SIGNS …. its a little league game u dont need to paint the football stripes on ur faceWho goes to parent teacher interviews? they both go but mickey is better at them because emma always goes into teacher mode and tries to talk about Who changes the diapers? mickey does he’s a NURSE he is not grossed out , she is . baby poop is rank Who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? where tf is that gifset from prison break when u need it … she does but only because she hates diapers and it’s only fair to pop a tiddie out every night for ur kid in exchangeWho spends the most time with the children? ummmm FAMILY FUN NIGHT x Who packs their lunch boxes?Who gives their children ‘the talk’? mickey he is obligated as a medical professional she don’t teach sex ed …. Who cleans up after the kids? emma but only because she’s a neat freak Who worries the most? both of them try to pretend they’re VERY cool and nonchalant and this is actually very easy until one of them cracks (probably her) and they both worry together constantly . solidarity babey ! ….. moreso her tho u cannot change my mind Who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? auntie odette change my mind we said FUCK watergate lives , emdette rise 

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both of them …. constntly …. disgusting Who is the little spoon? [ jake peralta vc ] everyone likes to be the little spoon, it makes them feel safe ! LOOK HERE buddy …. he is and i dont take questions , even when he was 10 ft Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? can he fucking keep his hands AWF …. thats coming from me not emma she appreciates it Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? both of them …. its CONSTANT … hand on the shoulder , touching someone’s back as u walk past …. SOFT ! n then the one gif  u sent from superstore where amy slaps jonah’s ass that’s emma How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable?  they actually fall asleep cuddling and wake up complaining abt falling asleep in a uncomfortable position… shut up abt ur back pain ur not 80 Who gives the most kisses? KISS kisses …. he. but know �� she’s always kissing him on the cheek What is their favourite non-sexual activity? this is gonna sound g*y as hell but stay with me here ………. just being in the same place , even when they’re doing diff stuff . TOGETHERNESS …. vomit time Where is their favourite place to cuddle? the couch , i retract my statement about them not being 80 they actually fall asleep watching tv Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? casually ? she … to actually initiate eye emoji ? he How often do they get time to themselves? all the time , they know 2 other people 

Sleeping:

Who snores? he does im hcing this for ur own character If both do, who snores the loudest? she doesn’t SNORE she’s a lady Do they share a bed or sleep separately? they’ve been in 200 different stages of relationship ……. OTHER than depending on that , she sleeps better w him there :3If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start far apart cos she’s a blanket hog but she always ends up next 2 him Who talks in their sleep? she mumbles sometimes ….. its nothing coherent What do they wear to bed? she owns 47 different stupid size xxxxxxxl shirts that were 2 bucks  from walmart and wears only that . i bet mickey owns a bathrobe, bourgeois pig … Are either of your muses insomniacs? idk she reads a chapter of whatever dumb shit she’s reading and has tea or wine and conks out ….. idk his business Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? idk abt taking them and ik its not the point but shes anal retentive abt keeping medicine in the medicine cabinet so THERE BETTER NOT BE Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? AS I SAID … they start out on opposite sides of the beg and end up more tangled than tangled (20whatever) Who wakes up with bed hair? his hair is floofy ,,,, Who wakes up first? i feel like that depends on his shifts …. she wakes up at the same damn time every week day …. weekends though she sleeps in for 10 yrs so him Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? emma tries and he has to leave bed anyway because the fire alarm goes off  What is their favourite sleeping position? she prefers it when she has all the blankets Who hogs the sheets? she does Do they set an alarm each night? they have JOBS does she look like pippa to u Can a television be found in their bedroom? yes so she can cry over dumb rom coms over somewhere other than the couch …… he’s invested in them , change my mind Who has nightmares? i already know ur about to say he does so im calling the cops on u end of story Who has ridiculous dreams? all of emma’s dreams are indistinguishable from bad acid trips Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? she sleeps in the fetal position he seems like a sprawler …..Who makes the bed? emma …. its gotta be CLEAN and if he ever says “why make it we’re just gonna sleep there again” its on SIGHT What time is bed time? whenever she passes out , always before midnight , considering they’re 72Any routines/rituals before bed? i bet they brush their teeth at the same time to see who can do it faster like they’re five year olds …. or that gifset from new girl where he’s like “ u read my walking dead fanfic ? ”Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? emma takes three cups of coffee to be able to be her CHIPPER self …. 

Work:

Who is the busiest? she has like a 6 hour work day so he for sure Who rakes in the highest income? i just googled nurses versus preschool teachers and he makes twice what she does …. laughs nervously …. glad she’s going back 2 school but elementary teachers STILL make less …. mr talbot got COIN ! Are any of your muses unemployed? no , freeloading is ILLEGAL Who takes the most sick days? i feel like the two worst jobs to go into sick are a literal hospital with immunocompromised people and a preschool with toddlers who dont wash their hands …. equal maybe Who is more likely to turn up late to work? despite her original beef with odette in the apocalypse verse emma is NEVER late to work Who sucks up to their boss? she cooks dinner , a nice LASAGNA for whoever to heat up and mickey has to break it to her that making whoever her superior is eat what tastes like glue will in fact , damage their relationship What are their jobs? hes a nursey  boy …. shes a teacher Who stresses the most? about life in general? her. about work? probably him. he’s dealing with LIVES she’s got the alphabet Do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they better they aren’t getting paid enough to hate it Are your muses financially stable? they’re not rich but they’re not dying and that’s what matters 

Home:

Who does the washing? emma because it relaxes her Who takes out the trash? he better , she does not like to  LOOK at things once they are thrown out … its smelly Who does the ironing? neither of them have ironed anything in their lives Who does the cooking? HE HAS TO IDC if he isn’t fuckign gordon ramsay she’ll kill them Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? emma Who is messier? if he leaves a single sock on the floor he is automatically messier than her Who leaves the toilet roll empty? that’s satanic neither of them Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? he does …. its just not REALISTIC that she does Who forgets to flush the toilet? that’s gross ……hopefully neither ….. DISGOSTEING.mp4Who is the prankster around the house? anything STUPID is hers and hers alone but i feel like he’d do something relatively innocent and it would go HORRIBLY wrong like , hey emma come get y’all juice ….Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? despite being organized in every other aspect of her life emma has never kept track of keys in her life its a disease Who mows the lawn? he does , he shld do it shirtless so she can objectify him Who answers the telephone? mickey, she truly stares at it hoping it’ll go away Who does the vacuuming? emmaWho does the groceries? she would make HORRIBLE decisions ,,, he shld make the list and she shld get it Who takes the longest to shower? no sexism but she’s a girl Who spends the most time in the bathroom? see above 

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? yES like … they can afford groceries , make rent , but for literally every american except jeff bezos money is a problem in some area . this isn’t a hc just a capitalist hellscape How many cars do they own? two …. neither of them are very nice cars Do they own their home or do they rent? rent unless/until he gets the farm of his dreams Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? countryside thats where FARMS are … but like rn , coast cos there’s the ocean in town Do they live in the city or in the country? see above bbgDo they enjoy their surroundings? the goats of the future and the noisy neighbors of the current and past eras both leave something to be desired , but in general yes What’s their song? not to go all modern au but remember when stereo hearts was on their 2011 mixtape AJSKDF …. issa bop and its arguably the most cutesy singable on the playlist What do they do when they’re away from each other? bitch idk ? exist as human beings ?Where did they first meet? idk she probably met him for coffee or sum before moving in together to make sure he wasn’t a serial killer How did they first meet? they were roommates … oh my god they were roommates …. she prolly put an ad in the paper very lucky she did not get murdered x Who spends the most money when out shopping? i feel like neither of them are big spenders but her sticker and colored pen budget is larger than it should be Who’s more likely to flash their assets? i thought this was talking about tits for a second but im assuming mone ? they keep it humble Who finds it amusing when the other trips over? they both do , bullying one another is a bonding experience Any mental issues? more than you know my guy Who’s terrified of bugs? if she sees a SPIDER she floors it , but she releases most other bugs …. he better kill anything w 8 legs tho Who kills the spiders around the house? mickey , as described above wow im psychic Their favourite place? they can make any place work together … gay but true , just like me Who pays the bills? she has a special binder just for taxes Do they have any fears for their future? all the fears actually Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? she cannot cook but she has 10/10 ordered takeout , put it on plates and been like :the happy version of the pensive emoji yk the one: i cooked it while the reciept is still on the counter Who uses up all of the hot water? thats very selfish she wld never but she also showers first bc she doesn’t trust him not to ….. Who’s the tallest? they , in american , are the SAME HEIGHT ,,, fuck centimeters Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other?Who wanders around in their underwear? clothes are oppressive let them both do it coward Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? it probably turns into a competition until they’re both singing at the top of their lungs …. omg watergate you’re gonna burst a vocal cord oh my god they can’t hear us they have airpods in What do they tease each other about? literally everything …. one of them BREAHTES wrong and the other is like “ ah didnt realise the asthma express was in town “ Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? mickey literally dresses like the fresh prince so u already answered that for me Do they have mutual friends? can the real jack detler please stand up Who crushed first? she ……. did not immediately fall in love with him let me tell u , it took her some solid MONTHS to realise she was in deep for his bitch ass Any alcohol or substance related problems? i wld hope not , #stubie twWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? them , together , for getting kicked out of the bar for singing Who swears the most? neither ? 

[couldhavebeenqueen]

it’s 3:18 am and I’m lying in bed next to my snoring boy****** friggen holding his hand n shit and also reading the news cause I’m nervous abt alberta’s election. u know?

im wearing gold eyeliner. im wired. called my roommate to come get us cause this was a party way the fuck out of town and I wasn’t doing the walk again. 

I told b at the ranch that we weren’t dating. and I didnt want to date him, unless he figured out how to talk abt his feelings somehow somewhere someway. or nothing - which frankly I’m okay with. the last time we were at a party here his boss walked in on us making out in the bathroom. i mightve been topless. that was also the first time we had the ‘what is this’ convo- it didnt go easy. this time the second we started talking serious, he took my hand and led me outside round the corner so we could be alone. he listened. he’s not bad u know.

toby came when/ cause I asked and he’s an actual angel. I consoled a mormon girl in the bathroom for ages and once she left did a couple lines. lol. capell just bought a truck which is perfect for summer road trips. at the party becca took a picture “I feel like this is The Crew” and it was her me bren, capell, jeff n calum. crew enough. sure we got rowdy. I was better at beer pong than I’ve been in years. capell told me I was a great dancer and he wasn’t wrong n also he should know. becca’s tatt looks amazing and ive had a couple more requests; i don’t mind. 

i’m leaving next week. b’s leaving couple of days after that. we’ll see whats up when we get back.

it’s 3:34. okay.

[identitycris1s]

im back

hi just thought id pop in with a status update! maybe i’ll break this down into categories. feel like im doing an email update (ew!) but this rly is probs the best way to structure this post...

work / school (?)

work has been....aite. idk what to say. idk if i have unrealistic expectations of what work is supposed to be, but the idealist in me thinks its wrong to not even try and find something that seems meaningful / is deeply fulfilling. i think im mature enough to get that work isnt supposed to be fun / exciting every single day but bro this daily grind / sense of dread / utter disinterest / feeling of futility / frustration / disenchantment surely isnt the correct state of affairs.....at least let me try and find something that is a better fit, thats more stimulating, that feels more NATURAL to me? i just dont think im cut out to be a lawyer. sure i sometimes like arguing and making my point and i like that everyone i work with is smart and interesting and generally kind and reasonable and i like the prestige of the job and feeling like ppl respect me and i like the decent pay and the humane hours but.....i feel unmotivated to be a good lawyer. i think i find it difficult / disingenuous to always 100% get behind my client and advocate for their best interests. i tend to see things from a zoomed out perspective, like WHY are we fighting, WHY cant we just settle, WHY are the claimants pursuing this absolutely crap and unmeritorious claim and WHY do we have to defend it when its stupid and bound to fail (cos access2justice i guess but still, WHY), WHY cant we just hash things out in a meeting instead of sending emails here and there and wasting time, WHY do we have to answer stupid questions, WHY WHY WHY

and i think public policy is sort of an answer to that....i think theres more questioning of why we do things and why a policy will or will not work, in a macro sense - what is good for society at large. whereas in law (at least in litigation) its how can we just move this case forward and help the client, which is often not the most productive thing to do in a macro sense - very much a zero sum game. i get that shitty / unmeritorious claims still need to be defended against and someone has to do it and I GET IT but i just dont think i want to be that person defending these claims...or bringing them for that matter.....ultimately i cant fully / sincerely separate the overarching sense of futility from the duty to do a good job.

sigh. well at least ive kind of figured out this isnt for me. which is scary cos being a lawyer in this firm is pretty much a career for life - truly an iron rice bowl, i could probably make partner in maybe 4 or 5 years and live a comfortable upper middle class life...but i cant bring myself to do that. i cant bring myself to not give myself a shot at doing something i actually find interesting, stimulating and that i care about deeply. call me crazy! we’ll see where this brings me in 5 years’ time....:) 

anyway most ppl at work (at least in my team) know that im most likely gonna leave soon. i rly only told 2 ppl (my boss cos he had to sign off on my testimonial and G cos she was quitting anyway)...but somehow ppl found out one way or another. i dont rly mind and ppl have been taking it pretty well and have been kind and encouraging (i guess why would they not take it well, im hardly indispensable) but i get a bit antsy thinking - what if i dont get in...then what? do i just put my head down and continue here (BUT IM SO SAD) or do i just quit without any prospects and try to find a policy-ish job??

idk. will have faith that God will put me where I need to be. he is in control of it all and I BELIEVE THIS !!! I am just a bit scared that his plan is different from what i  think i want....but this is just my human instinct and i know in my head that there is no reason to be scared cos his plan is always the better one. head knowledge just needs to translate to heart understanding and real trust / faith.

ermmm relationships...???

i started using...cmb...idk why i find this so cringey. i guess about a year ago i couldnt imagine doing this and i kept thinking EW what if ppl i know see me and they think im a desperate saddo who cant find a bf irl and has to resort to an app EW shes so lame and ugly and gross. and i realised that is so stupid no one actually thinks that way and its very backward and dumb and insecure of me to be thinking that. and anyway as i get older i rly dont quite give a shit what ppl think of me (at least i tell myself that....)

i suppose i was also inspired by csm who has been quite actively using apps and meeting ppl and taking real..strides..(LOL) in her dating life. i used to tell myself hey God will provide u with a mans if he wants u to be with a mans. but also God can use an app to do that...and if i dont step out in faith that he will do something and i dont take any action at all, how is God gonna work?? should i sit at home and expect a man to fall into my lap??

for some ppl it has been way easier, e.g. my parents meeting in uni and falling i love. i always wanted that - the organic relationship, the meet-cute, the friends to lovers thing. (i guess i tried that last one before and it didnt work...) but i think theres no point in romanticising relationships anymore. thats a very modern thing to do and its not necessarily a good thing? like who’s to say a relationship that had organic beginnings is intrinsically better than one that started from an app?

anyway i havent had much luck haha i think its hard to find genuine GCBs (or maybe theyre just not attracted to me....) although recently ive been talking to this one guy B for a week or two and its been...ok i guess. hes rly nice and seemed cool at first - we talked about travelling and hamilton and the office, which was a good start. he is thoughtful and kind and doesnt seem to be put off by my very slow replies (he replies so fast......its stressful a bit) and he does the whole good morning text thing (which i frankly find a bit bizarre, we barely know each other..?? and ive never even met him irl.. but its sweet i guess :))

but DUDE his english seems to be not great - at least thats the impression i get from texting him. which is an issue for me. i dont want it to be BUT IT IS...first red flag was when he said some weird thing about not wanting to wear a mask at work (not a literal mask - like he didnt know if he could be his ‘true self’) and the wording was very strange. then he said “the weekends are almost here” ?? the weekend is not a plural though? then he used the wrong tense a few times and his apostrophe usage was wrong (”Gods’ love” - bro there is one God). he also uses way too many commas which irks me.

i mean i get that text is supposed to be an informal medium - come on look at this post, there r hardly any capital letters and plenty of short forms and hardly any apostrophes but u see its CONSISTENT and its obviously cos of laziness / convenience - but i think his problem is a bit different...u can sort of tell if someone doesnt have a 100% strong grasp of english. those r basic grammar mistakes man...i get that i sound petty and stupid and this isnt a huge deal but i feel like im settling by even talking to him cos this is not something i wld normally tolerate but hey maybe im getting desperate with age :(:(:( urgh 

on the other hand maybe i just need to be more generous with ppl and l have an irrationally high standard for english cos i am a lawyer and my friends all speak well / text well?? maybe im just being too nitpicky?? honestly hes very nice  and communicative and straightforward and seems mature and very God-fearing and idk why hes still talking to me cos ive been a bit cold and slow to respond. hes very patient which i dont rly deserve.....i myself have a million flaws that are probably way worse and egregious (ahem PRIDE...ahem ego....ie the source of this dilemma in the first place...) so maybe i should just close one eye abt the bad grammar.

i also realised how fked up i am - confirmed my suspicion that i am naturally attracted to emotionally unavailable ppl / ppl that just seem distant / out of reach (thats my avoidant attachment style right there). i think there was one day he didnt text me at all and omg...i couldnt stop thinking what i did wrong...like did i piss him off by being too cold for too long...did he get scared off cos i said i wanted to do a masters (idk this seemed like an irrational leap but i was being irrational)..then i started being nicer to him and replied more promptly hahaha turns out he was just rly bz at work that day. omg this pattern is real i think i did this with xj also - was eager to speak when he was in japan but after meeting irll i was just over it... (i am drawn to distance like a moth to a flame and i am repelled by availability like....a fire by a fire extinguisher (??)). yucks i rly hate myself sometimes but yknow what at least im self aware and im trying to fix this...kind of.. gonna hash this avoidant thing out with my therapist at the next sesh.

on the topic of xj i got a bit nostalgic and wondered why we stopped speaking (surprise surprise it was my fault, didnt reply then felt it had been left to long to pick it up again...) went back to look at our texts and aw we rly got along so well, i do miss him as a friend and im sorry about how poorly i treated him especially in dec 2018 / jan 2019 sigh.....i was a real bitch....

anyway im just gonna see how things go with B... if he asks me out i prob will go... just to give it a shot. update if / when that happens!

EDIT - he asked me out lol we shall see how it goes. 

[activatingaggro]

SIPARA NZINGA | 8.3 sweeps / 18 years old

off the western coast of hamavet, the farthest continent

(6,161 words)

There's bubbles still in your flaps when the gate opens, and you can finally step out.

The first hall that Wilcox leads you down is surreal! It's not so much a building, as it is a dome: the walls are curved high above you, high enough that her horns aren't even scraping the ceiling, and they're glass all the way through. You can see the water outside, sloshing against the glass, and the fish trudging through it. (Floating? Swimming?) There's goosebumps pricking on your skin from the air down here, but when you place your hand against the glass, it's even colder.

"Come along now, miss," Wilcox says, and you startle, turn on your heel to follow.

When ID had told you that he had a proposition for you, you hadn't quite trusted him! You and him.. well, you're complicated, right now, that's the problem. He lied to you. He lied to you, and abandoned you, and he didn't care enough to fix it, not for an entire half-sweep. And what's an apology to fucking that? You'd cried over him, for fuck's sake, and you'd made Pheres deal with it, for perigees and perigees.

.. but a half-sweep isn't too long, when the two of you'll live for at least three dozen of 'em. That's what he keeps reminding you, each time you start to snarl. And how're you supposed to stay mad, when he gives you opportunities like this? Proposition, he said, but this's a fucking favour, more like. "There's a fuschia looking for geneticists, my little hellion," he'd told you, all coy over the husktop, just this side of cloying, "and she's under the Queenpin's thumb, so I could get you in. It's research, ashmote, and more technology than you've ever seen in one place. Isn't this the sort of thing you do?"

You'd been a little suspicious, but how were you supposed to say no to that? Research! Actual research, in a field where they needed you, and where you could work with people for the first time - properly, without having to hide what you know, or how you learned it. You don't know much about ID's boss, but you know plenty about his business. And what's one gray-eyed pupa's education source, when everyone here was probably illegal as fuck?

Illegal, or fuschia.

He hadn't mentioned Wilcox was so tall, though. Or that she was quite this fuschia.

"This is the main lab," she tells you now, peering back over her shoulder. You don't like looking at her, much! ID loves seadwellers, but you've always been with Pheres: there's something about the way their skin moves that makes your skin crawl. It's too dull in spots where it ought to be bright! The fat's too thick, in all the places it shouldn't be at all. And when she smiles at you, it wrinkles her cheeks, and right under her eyes, and nowhere else.

Her pink eyes.

"I think you'll like it. I enjoyed the work that, ah, monseiur Comedy sent our way. You work on helminths?"

She's really, really tall.

"I read your papers," she prompts.

"Yeah -" There's an octopus on the wall, watching you through the glass as you walk through the next hall. There's seadwellers everywhere, clustered together at the tables, and.. there's only ten or so, scattered throughout the room, but this is more than you've ever seen in one place before. You draw your arms in closer, and if you're half-cuddling your bag, fuck anyone that'd look twice. "Um. Wait, nah, girl, soz. I work with, like, ectoparasites! Annelids, mostly. My base stock was, like, nereididae, originally, but I bred 'em to be calcified, and ---"

BT: <))) I told Wilcox I don't need help > So she sent you anyway <

BT: <))) Charming > She's wasting everyone's time <

AA: loool.

AA: mb you don't need help, bb. mb you need   G U I D A N C E. >;}

BT: <))) HA >

BT: <))) Of course > Why wouldn't I need help from a hemoanon <

BT: <))) Sweeps of education > But all of that blunts in the face of .

BT: <))) What > Bootleg schoolfeeds? <

AA: bb, pls.

AA: it's stolen orn fucking bust.

BT: <))) Of course > What was I thinking? <

BT: <))) Empress fucking forbid it's not illegal <

BT: <))) Because the rest of this isn't bad enough <

BT: <))) I'm in the lab > If you fuck up my prototype <

BT: <))) I'm feeding you to it >

"And who," she drawls, peering at you over her nose, "are you?"

Rostik Taalik is a lot of things. She's the only other landdweller here, for starters, even with the fins behind her ears. She's the only person your size, with barely four inches on you. She's one of the only folks your age, and she’s got the longest eyelashes you’ve ever seen on a troll.

And all of that means she's your designated lab partner for the night, as you decided when you walked in. Unfortunately, as it turns out, she's also a huge bulge munch.

"Fuuhao," you drawl right back, spite so thick that it feels like it ought to catch on your tongue. Your eyes are gray and your horns are capped for the night, the blunted edges of the round-end chafing at your skull each time you move, but you're not a lowblood, right now, and you're not going to let some upstart indigo start acting like she's got anything above you. "We spoke online, nookmunch. Now, scoot over, I'm sitting down here."

"Wilcox said you're working on pupation. And I'm supposed to help out." The device she's been staring at is big enough that it takes up a whole corner of the room. It looks sort of like a recuperacoon, if someone made a coon out of sopor: it's ridged like one, with the gentle fall and rise of any healthy device, but the sides are slick with slime that seeps out of it with every passing second, sliding towards the vents on the ground with the careless viscosity of pudding.

When you touch it, the slime clings in strings to your palm when you tug it away.

"Brilliant," Taalik says from behind you, dry. "Should I wait while you lick it?"

"Nah, dude, hard pass on that shit." You wipe off your hand on your pants, then turn to face her.

She's got purple all the way through her eyes already, and more jewelry in her face than you'd see in a tongue. She's playing with the ring in her lip as she watches you, eyes half-lidded, and thank god she's one of those folks who can't hide shit: her ears are round, her face is finned, but she's low enough that she doesn't make your skin crawl, like the fish, and her contempt's clear.

You might be in gray, but you know that look. She's already making up her mind on what caste you are, and how she feels about that.

Well, fuck her. She wants to make decisions? So are you.

"So, like, lemme see if I've got this straight. You want to, like -" You wish you had gum to chew! But your fangs are too sharp for that shit: the last time you'd stolen a pack from Laledy and tried it, you'd half slit your tongue. So you settle for shoving your thumbs into your pants, horns down just to show her how much you don't fucking care. "Start a second pupation, yeah? Crack us open, scrape out the bits, and start it over. But slight problem there, dude. You gonna breed up new new imaginal discs? 'cause we're kinda all out."

"And if you don't have those -"

She clicks her tongue at you, then flips her braids over her shoulder. "Congratulations. You've read a book.” She curls her lip at you, all contempt, and.. you should be focusing on that, but her lipliner’s tighter than you’ve ever managed. You’re not sure if you’re impressed, or if you hate it. “But obviously not enough, because you're still behind. We can insert that shit with viral carriers, dumbass. Set it up however they want. Venomsacks, broader shoulders, a bigger rack, different chrome - it's all in the research notes. Or did Wilcox not share that?"

"I've read the book, dude." You should pop her, honestly! Establish dominance the old-fashioned way: flip the laptop, that coffee, and the table right onto her lap, and see if she's still going to sass you after that. But you don't want to start a fight in the middle of the lab on your third night here. "But never mind all of the spy shit."

(The spy shit. You can't believe you're in coon with a bunch of seadweller fucking rebels.. and this girl.)

"What about the disks for the rest of you? How the fuck are you gonna keep the bits that you want coming back properly?"

"Never mind. Did Wilcox send you to waste my time?" She looks like a land-dweller, but when she blinks at you, languid, it's like watching one of the fish. The way she does it is all fucking wrong. "Because," she says, flat, turning her attention back to her husktop, "that's shit we've already got covered. When you enter the cocoon, it'll pick up on your pre-coded disks."

"You mean the ones that melted in the second instar?" you mock, flipping your ears forward, and she looks back up.

AA: tweet tweet, mothernfuckern.

AA: do i gotta lay out, like, birndseed to get you to come out? bc if so: n/n/n, soz, am not doing it.

AA: you get shitty old brneadcrnumbs like evernyone else, and you will fucking like it.

LB: how could I refuse with that kind of an offering

LB: what’s going on?

AA: ty, ty. i knew you'd fucking love it.

AA: i'm tlking to ppl who arne kind of yrn ppl. i mean, not rnly, they'rne all fucking fish? but they'rne   Y RN   P E O P L E   kind of ppl.

AA: so i was wonderning if you can gimme any deets?

AA: and i'll give you deets back, ofc. >:}

LB: you’ll have to give deets to get deets tbh

LB: my kind of fish people doesn’t give me a lot to work with

AA: jfc, dude.

AA: 'kay, bettern way of putting it. >:}

AA: have you hearnd anything abt a nearn-tyrnian doing, like, rnesearnch? igenetics rnesearnch?

LB: hmm

LB: I think I know who you’re talking about

LB: been tapping up pre-ascension scientists for something or other right?

AA: lol, y.

LB: what do you need on her?

AA: uhhh. idk, dude, yrn the infotrnoll.

AA: how about..

AA: how likely is she gonna trny to shove me in a cocoon? >:}

AA: is that a thing that, like, ppl arne sayin'?

LB: she’s tapping you?

AA; lmfao, n.

AA: she tapped me like, a week ago.

LB:

LB: and you’re asking me this now

AA: looool.

AA: yeah, well, bettern now than nevern, rnight?

AA: she's a fish, i ain't exactly, like, supern wornrnied, herne. so chillll. i've filleted bettern folks than hern. >:}

AA: and i got info forn you in exchange, so, like, don't  F U S S.

AA: how would you feel if you could just totes change yrn face?

LB: ok well I haven’t heard of anyone getting ganked and so far everyone I know of has responded to quads

LB: but also no one has left

LB: does Hadean even know where you are

AA: 'kay, cool.

AA: that's abt all i need to know, lmao. like, i'm prnetty surne nobodies bailed, bc this is fucking wicked?

AA: but y, wanted to check. >:}

AA: and ofc he doesssssss.

AA: wtf kinda q is that?

LB: idk he seems like he’d be a little freaked out about you doing shit on a seadweller’s turf

LB: it’s a little different than taking a fish down in the ring

LB: do you have an escape plan?

AA: loool.

AA: he prnobs is, lbrn.

AA: but w/e, he trnusts me to handle my shit, and i trnust him to handle his.

LB: what will you do if things go bad?

AA: dude, i'm yrn doctorn, yrn not mine. dnw abt it, 'kay?

AA: but fwiw, i totes have a rnoute alrneady planned.

AA: and if anything goes 2spoopy4me, i will pop down a vent, get out into the shipbay, and follow the sewage outlet all the way back up top.

AA: nbddd. evernyone else herne is like, fucking six footerns, and it's a squeeze forn   M E.

LB: i might not be your doctor but this isn't medical. you did say that she was more my people

LB: and maybe delete your actual plan. are you sure things are encrypted on your end of things

AA: y, y. i'm just sayin' i know what i'm doing, losern. >:}

AA: and ofccccc.

AA: this entirne convo's deleting off my end aftern this shuts, dnw.

LB: what sort of stuff is she working on anyway?

AA: evernybody herne's into genetics. and fixing shit.

AA: like, she gave us a full hourn long goddamn lecturne on abt how grn8 it would be if we could just F I X ppl, instead of culling them.

LB: is there one big project you're working on or a bunch of smaller ones

AA: bunch of tiny ones. but they all feed into one big one.

AA: even tho idk if ppl arne rnealising that yet, lmao.

AA: wtfevernnn, waderns arne fucking dumb. >:}

LB: is everyone else there a seadweller?

LB: also do you know what the big project is yet

AA: y, me and m arne the only airnsacks.

AA: and y. loool.

AA:

AA: how would you feel if you could just totes change yrn face?

AA: it's that. >:}

LB: oh huh

LB: definitely useful

LB: literally no way the empire would like that

LB: also whose m

AA: the othern airnsack herne, brnah.

AA: so therne's yrn info. tyvm forn yrns, yrn aid has been apprneciated.

AA: we cool?

LB: yeah sure

LB: be safe

AA: loool. you too.

AA: don't get locked in any morne basements, bb.

You’ll give props where props are due. When you hit Taalik, she barely flinches. She just pauses, rubbing her jaw like she’s more shocked than anything else, and watches you.

It takes a moment to swallow the snarl trying to rip all the way out of your throat. But you manage to keep it down to nothing more than a rattle. “I’d, like, say now you apologise,” you sniff, “but obvs your lusus didn’t raise you properly, so what-the-fuck-ever.”

“And what,” she says, her fingers still resting on the pale spot on her jaw, “am I apologising for?”

If you’d had more time, you should've gone for her nose.

(But it’s a cute nose. You don’t want to break it, mostly, not until she starts talking.)

“We’ll just pay off the lowbloods,” you mock, “and get them to test it. Like - are you for real? You’re just going to pluck some poor kids off the street, and turn them into - like - fucking labrats?”

“Would you rather we didn’t pay them?” She finally lets go of her jaw, and part of you wants to bolt back when she steps in. She’s indigo. Even if she wasn’t high enough to make your skin crawl, there’s something uncanny about her, and the way she moves. The way she smiles, on the rare occasions you’ve wrestled one out of her.

(Dry, mean, at everyone else’s expense - but still a smile.)

Taalik’s the best out of everyone in this lab. She’s the only other landdweller, and when you’re surrounded by gills.. well, that’s worth more than just chrome, isn’t it? But you’ve watched when her sleeves slide up, taken in the tight coils of her arms when she’s getting annoyed enough to start snatching things.  She might be the only one you want to deal with..

But that doesn’t mean you want her in your space. She’s still indigo, and you’re pretty sure she could make a fair try at ripping you in two.

.. but that doesn’t mean you’ll flinch, either, as she steps in close. “No, I want you to be decent,” you snap, tossing your curls, and you let your shoulder clip her as you stride past. There’s a whuff of something that might be a laugh behind you, but you’re going to fucking ignore that. “C’mon. If we’re gonna start planning for test subjects, anyway, dude, we ought to do it right. Pay some olives - if we want this to work on everyone, we might as well start with the median, anyway..”

AA: pheeeeeern.

AA: wtf do you do when someone's rneally, rneally cute.

AA: but also, like, yrn prnetty surne they'rne legit 100% chaotic evil.

RS: / mmm / my assumption / personally / has always been to pile them /

RS: / but i think hadean might have some objections to that /

AA: hey!

AA: fuck off, i'm chaotic neutrnal at best, tyvm.

At the end of the second week, everything goes to fucking hell.

Pulling an all-day work session had been kind of dumb. If Hadean was here, he would've hauled you forcibly to your 'coon after the first six hours - but he isn't here, and you've got to take advantage of that. When Taalik had drifted off to sleep, you'd kept working with half a mind of impressing her.

Or, no - not impressing her. Proving her right! She's been leaning on you more and more over the last two weeks, and last night, she'd asked you if you knew how to set up a time-released enzyme package.

By the time you'd found out you didn't, it was too late to ask for help, and the only thing that mattered was fucking doing it. If the sun was up by the time you managed, who cared? You'd done it.

And now you were going to haul back coffee and waffles before she woke up, so you could hold it over her in the best kind of way.

Or, at least, that was the plan. There's voices drifting out of the cafeteria when you come up near, which's unusual enough to make you pause.

"I still think this is unneccessary," Wilcox says, and there's something strange enough about her voice that you stop mid-step. The hall's empty, but the door to the cafeteria's open, as always. And it doesn't sound like it's full. "You're not really allowed to be in here, you know?"

There ought to be the clank of forks and plates by this point. Or at least the rip of the nasty protein bars that half of the fish down here eat. Instead, when you flip your ears forward..

Under the whispers, someone's crying.

"Don't worry!" someone else says, and it's a new voice that you haven't heard before. Temasekian, part of your pan pings, helpful, but that's strange: everyone here's further north than that, and you're the last person that Wilcox hauled in. The gates, as she told the lot of you, had closed, and her party had been assembled. Every project had a team. All you had to do now was make them work. "Warrants procured, lah. Nothing illegal here!" A beat. "Hope there's nothing illegal," they - she - teases, and there's amusement soaking her words like salt. "Right, yeah?"

"I don't think you'll believe me if I say no."

"Probably not~!" There's a thump. You should turn and bolt. You should be burrowing deep into the vents now, and heading straight for the dockyard. You should be doing a lot of things, but it feels like your feet are lead.

Not quite lead. You can take a step forward, silent as a mouse, and when you do, around the doorframe, Wilcox comes into view. There's a girl standing in front of her, her hair shining as bright as bone in the dim of the room. Her horns are long enough that they're framing Wilcox's neck, for all that her head's ducked down. If she moved too suddenly, or turned her head, they could slice right into the skin, easy as butter.

Maybe that's why Wilcox has her fins pinned back, for the first time you've seen her. "There's really no need for that," Wilcox tries again, brisk, as the girl steps away. The lighting in the cafeteria is poor, as always: it's been a joke for longer than you've been here that it ought to be replaced, but half of the seadwellers were born in the depths, and they'd objected. (You don't know why you're thinking of this now. You don't know why you're still standing here.)

The lighting is poor, but when Wilcox shifts, it hits her wrists, and the cuffs shine red.

Farther out of sight, there's a shuffle of feet. Then a thud, and a shriek.

The girl pivots to look. You sink into the shadows, your pumpbiscuit racing, but her eyes slide right past you, off into a distance you can't see. "Hey!" she says, and at the same time, Wilcox surges forward, fins flaring out.

Then someone wails. You recognise her voice: Hoshio, you think, the one with the fins shaped like the summer sun. "Wrong answer," someone else says, light. Their voice's deeper than the white-haired girls. "Sorry, sweetheart! Want to try again?"

"Hdijah!" the girl snaps. "Be nice! Royalty!"

You turn on your heel, and bolt.

Taalik's awake when you slide the door open. (Slide, not slam: if everyone's in the cafeteria, well, the two of you've been overlooked. No point in drawing attention in, now.) She's half-sprawled over your desk, shoulders slouched, her braids half-out of the twist she'd pulled them into.

"What's going on?" she asks, barely looking up. She's got such a long neck! Every time you look at it, you think she ought to have gills there, but the skin's smooth as the skin of her hands.

"Imps."

"Really. Did Falric finally succeed in summoning demons? Or did you just get into the mind honey?" She drags her finger across the screen. The video scrolls forward. The girl is saying something peppily about mascara, and eyeliner, and the best way to repel an auspistice with both --

So you slap your palm down in the center of it, and Taalik jerks her head up so quickly, you think she's going to bite you. If it was anyone else, she'd have hissed at you. As is, she just stares, eyelashes fanning over her eyes, like she thinks that makes her look unimpressed. "I should break your hand for that," she says, but she doesn't so much as move. "What, Fuuhao?"

"Imperials," you say, slowly, "are in the facility, and they arrested Wilcox, and they snapped Hoshio's arm. Like, she doesn't fucking have one, anymore. So what d'you think they're gonna do to me and you?"

She considers you for a moment. Then she sighs, pushes back her chair in a scrape of metal on metal. "Well. You better go, then. Like hell they'll do anything to me." She's so brisk. "But you?" Side-long, she looks at you. "No point in hanging around."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've got dirt in your veins, dumbass. Are we really going to argue about that?" She's bustling along, even as you're sidling back towards the bathroom. There's a vent you'd scoped out there, the first night. It's just big enough for you to fit into, if you duck your horns, and you'd spent an hour each night since then tracking it to the shipyard, and counting how many steps it takes. You hadn't had the opportunity to try it, yet, but. It can't be too hard. You know you'll fit.

It just won't be pleasant, but when you think of going back into the hallway -

You won't. Better the vents.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm leaving," you say instead, cracking the door.

She's shoving things into the bag, but she looks up. The look isn’t quite a smile! It’s more.. a curl of her lips, all dry and brittle, like that’s the only way she knows how to. "Try not to die."

That's about as friendly as you're going to get, you think.

The scramble through the vents is about as cramped as you expect. But if you keep your horns down, at least, they don't scrape, and there's enough clunks and sighs of machinery that no one thinks to look up.

AA: ico.

AA: are you here?

AA: because i kind of

AA: aw, shit.

AA: everything’s kind of fucked up right now, and i really, really could use some help.

You’re halfway across the shipbay when the door crashes open, and the girl saunters in.

(Not the girl. Nanako Bonjou, ID had told you, words rattling across the front of your screen so quickly that you’d barely had time to read them. Twelve sweeps, oliveblood with strong telekinesis, IPC --

Where’s the rest of her battery, sweetheart? Because fuck her, you’re going to have to worry about the rest of that, and at least some of them ought to be sick --)

“Où es-tu?” Nanako calls out. “Où es-tu, ma petit souris? Montre-toi! Montre-toi, où que tu sois!”

The ground is dry under foot, and you’ve had sweeps of practice. The first thing you’d done, back in the room, was strip off your boots: now you’re down to socks, and when you launch yourself across the pavement, it’s as silent as you can manage. Her ears are flat, inflexible little things! She can’t hear you, if you try hard enough.

If you can keep your pumpbiscuit from giving you away. It’s pounding like a drum, so loud that you can barely here her off in the distance. All you want to do is get to the sewage outlet, but that’s out in the open, right where she can see it. Right now, she doesn’t know you’re here.

So you dive underneath one of the ships, instead, wriggling and kicking. The metal scrapes at your skin, and you have to slow down so that it doesn’t tear. What if they spot the blood, and try to catalogue it? What if your name comes up? You’ve never paid that much attention to science. You don’t know what they could do with a piece of hair, or a scrape of skin, or blood --

Fear is hard. You’ve never been one to be afraid of anything, not really, and if you hadn’t spent so much time calming Pheres down, you’re not sure you’d recognise the way your hands are going clammy, or the tightness in your chest. But this girl could kill you.

This girl will kill you, if she can. Taalik’s an indigo. The rest of the scientists are all violets -

- and her partner had still snapped Hoshio’s arm like it was so much tinder.

What’s a neck, compared to that?

“Sounis,” Nanako sings, and you can see her boots as they step by. You don’t breathe. Your phone is on silent, but you don’t dare to check it: ID’s advice had been for you to get the fuck out, and not wait for him to do something to help you.

(”You’ve gone and buried yourself under a ton of saltwater, darling,” he’d said, distressed: “I’m going to try, but I just don’t know what you want me to do, here!”)

(Like he hadn’t been the one to tell you about this.)

(It’s not fair to cling to his coat-tails: you’re not seven anymore, and he’s not your quadrant. But part of you’s resentful all the same.)

THat’s fine, though. You’ll make it be fine. You haven’t relied on ID in a half-sweep: you don’t need him now, not when it’s just you and a single girl in the bay. You’ll fight her yourself, if you need to, and with that thought, you slink out from under the ship enough to look.

When you peer out, she’s standing in front of the sewer outlet, just waiting.

That’s fine.

You don’t know much about ships. But you know enough to recognise a HMS Starbruiser when you see it, after all the nights Riccin spent trying to explain them to you. “They’re the fucking best,” she’d told you, practically curling in on herself from enthusiasm, “and they’re pure magnesium, girl, that’s the best part about it. Pure fucking - you can’t get better than that, in terms of weight, in terms of goddamn quality.” They were so expensive that the two of you’d barely been able to understand the price, back when she’d finally gone and found a listing online. And then, barely a perigee later, they’d all been recalled.

Except this one, apparently. There’s a fuel line, right above your head, brushing against your ears. When you sidle back and give it a yank, just hard enough for your prosthetic to stir, the line gives.

Another yank, and it gives.

The spray of gas hitting the ground sounds like thunder in the silence of the hall. She must hear it. She has to. So you’re sidling back before it’s even hit the ground, and as soon as you’re back on your feet, you lean forward and give the back of the ship a shove. The fangs of your prosthetic biting in stings, more than it should after two weeks of healing. You can almost feel the siphon of blood as it pulls in -

- but it’s worth it, because a moment later, when you shove the ship again, the brake snaps somewhere underneath it. It lurches forward, uneasily at first, but with the minor slope of the ground rapidly giving it momentum. You’ve only got a second to fumble your lighter out of your pocket. A flick of the switch, then you toss it over your shoulder, hands shaking.

You don’t stay to watch. You’re already bolting when there’s a sizzle behind you, and then, a scarce second later, you feel the heat as the fuel line catches fire.

It’s when the ship’s hull catches fire that you hear it, though: the crackle of metal catching flame, and the shriek of the bolts, already beginning to protest under the new heat. Ducking behind a new ship, there’s a shriek and crumple of metal behind you, loud enough that it makes your soundflaps pin.

But you have to keep moving. There’s another ship that you give a shove, hard enough that it leaves you shaking, but it’s sliding right towards the flaming mess in the center. The air’s full of smoke already, black and billowing up at your feet, not at all deterred by the shriek of the sprinklers above flicking on. The smoke tickles at your lungs. It burns at your throat, and pulling your shirt over your nose doesn’t do anything to stop it. Pulling up the hood of your jacket helps a little, but not much.

It’s fine, you remind yourself. You’re not going to be here long, and the fish inside the labs -

- well, if they’re still alive, you hope you didn’t just blow up their ship.

(You hope Taalik’ll be fine. “Try not to die,” she’d told you, and you didn’t even think to say anything back.)

There’s crates along the side of the shipbay. You duck into those, and now.. all you have to do is wait. So you count to sixty, hidden neatly behind the cargo, and try to breathe in through your mouth. The girl will have bolted for the ships. IPC agent, ID had said, and an expensive model like a Starbruiser - well, it’s got to have been hers, doesn’t it?

And even if it isn’t, there’s six tons of water above you, and more below. A single crack in the frame of this place will drown the lot of you, from the fuschia on down. She’s a telekinetic. She’s probably securing a net over the flames even right now, siphoning out the oxygen and snuffing them before anything can blow.

It’s been sixty seconds. She has to. And in the meanwhile, the smoke’s burning all the way through your lungs, and you know the sort of damage that does. The sort of shit you’re probably breathing in.

(You didn’t get away from the explosion as quickly as you should’ve, you think. Your flaps hurt. Your bulbs hurt. Your body hurts, in a way you can’t tell if it’s from blood loss, or the explosion, and that’s doing nothing to stop the frantic patter of your heart.)

She’s going to be at the ship, and you have to go, you have to go now. So you take a shaky breath, you duck out of your hiding place, and you make for the sewage outlet.

She’s not there. It’s clear, and there’s a weight off your shoulders. The air is full of smoke, and your body aches, and she’s going to kill you if she finds you, but - she didn’t. She isn’t going to. And you’re half-way into the pipe when something snatches you by the back of the neck, and hauls you out.

There’s a burn on her cheek, shining a sickly green in the light. Her eyes are red, red as the cuffs around Wilcox’s wrist, and you’re twisting to swing a fist right in her face before you’ve even processed who you’re looking at.

It’s like punching a wall. You shriek, pulling away from her, curling your arm in on yourself, and she just sighs, shaking her head. There’s a thousand warning notes flashing in front of your eyes, wailing about damage, and the fangs of your prosthetic are sinking in, tighter and tighter, to try and fix it.

“Merci, ma sounis,” she scolds you. There’s soot on her nose. The edges of her hairs are burned black, frayed in the dark. “Hadn’t run, wouldn’t have chased, yeah? But you ran! And you broke things. Friend built ship! What supposed to say? Rebel blew it up? Shame on you.”

You want to say something witty. All that comes out is a snarl, instead, but all of your thrashing isn’t doing anything to free you: it’s like being held by iron, and the only result you get is an exasperated cluck. “Aah. How old you? Seven? Wilcox all wrong, wrong, wrong, shouldn’t be done. Should’ve known better. Bad enough, pulling guppies in.”

“Can no do nothing about guppies. But mice?” She shakes her head, sending the white locks flying. “Sorry,” she says, and maybe it’s even real. You don’t care. There’s brown crowding your eyes, blocked only by the way you keep blinking, and you - you don’t even know why you’re bothering, honestly. She’s going to cull you, and you don’t know what you’re going to do, and you didn’t tell Hadean, and you didn’t tell Pheres, and -

"Sorry,” she says again, and draws her hand back again. This time, you can’t exactly stop her, not with your prosthetic shattered. All you can do is thrash, but a heel to the gut doesn’t do anything - your leg bounces off of her psi like armor, and her grip is iron. Your hood falls back. All you can do is pin your ears back, and hiss.

(You’re going to die, and nobody is ever going to know.)

But when your hood falls, her face blanches. “Poivre?” she breathes, and then she takes a step back. A moment later, she seems to realise you’re still in her hand: she drops your collar, as quick as she’d snatched you up, and when you land on your feet, already staggering back, she doesn’t try to follow you.Her face’s as pale as her hair.  Only for a moment, though, and then there’s green flooding her cheeks, all at once. Her hand falls. Your pumpbiscuit is pounding like a drum, too loud for you to make out more than the shapes of the words that she’s saying.But there’s a hand on her mouth, and when your hiss fades into a cough, wet and raspy even past the thump of your blood, just like that, something in her crumples.She doesn’t turn away from you. She just takes a step back, and then another, her eyes taking you in like she’s seeing you for the first time.You’re missing something, here. You should figure it out - but all you can think about is the outlet, right behind her. When you take a shaky step towards it, one hand on your throat, she doesn’t move. And even the second doesn’t illict a reaction.So you dive into the pipe, instead, and run.

[markhycks]

markhyuck au where

mark is a real estate agent trying to sell a house that has been unoccupied for years but donghyuck (the ghost who haunts it) won’t let him. warning: very long post / aged up!markhyuck 

—- i wrote this bc i had to get this out of my system - yall can keep scrolling if u dont like markhyuck !! ALSO i have z e r o clue how the real estate industry works so this is probably super inaccurate

ok so:

no one wants to buy this property bc its apparently haunted by a ghost

mark thinks thats just stupid

hes just trying his very best n rly wants a promotion !!

so his boss (obviously taeil bc we love a moon taeil managing a real estate business) offers to give a raise n promotion to anyone that can sell the house bc the last dude that tried to got so close but the couple pulled out last min after hearing abt the rumours

mark thinks he is aBSOLUTELY FULLY CAPABLE of selling this house so he tells his boss he wants to give it a shot

taeils like r u sure you’ve only been working here for 6 months

n mark lee’s all hell yea i got this thats why rumours around the world are saying mark is abs-

so boss man’s like aight ill leave this task to you 

everyone else in the office is all :000000

sicheng the cute intern is all ARE YOU SURE ABT THIS MARK in his broken chinese n he’s all cute and worried and its the first time the others have heard him speak this much

jaehyun his bff in the office is like good luck man bc he once tried selling it too but whimped out after encountering so called ghost

so anyways mark has to go inspect the property the next day

he gets given the keys yadda yadda

when he turns up to the house (which, mind you, is a very nice house located on the outskirts of town by a little lake) and opens the door he hears a loud “WHO GOES THERE”

and mARK FREAKS TF OUT

like he legit jumps n he’s pretty sure he almost peed himself n hes sso oso scared but then he remembers his mission and that he’s not going to turn out like the rest and he w I L L sell this house 

so he loosens his tie with a d e t er m i n e d face and enters the home

“whos there!! show yourself!” 

he thinks he sounds pretty fierce but it actually came out a quiet squeak

anyways it’s silent for a bit and mark’s like super wary as he closes the door behind him

“LEAVE THIS HOUSE IMMEDIATELY!!!” and suddenly theres a picture frame thrown at the wall

mark panics again and he’s so close to running out but he stays determined!!! bc!! fully capable mark!!

“no i have to sell this house and i won’t leave until i do so!!”

and it just goes silent again until the voice speaks up again

“who are you”

“i, um. mark?”

“you sound unsure”

“well. i mean, would you kill me for being a little nervous? jheesh”

he looks around. where is the voice even coming from? it projects through the entire house like its on speaker

mark’s not sure where he got this sudden confidence from but he feels a lot less scared than before so he just loosens his tie and walks around the house with his clipboard, doing his lil inspection

the ghost? spirit? whatever it is doesn’t say anything and mark just shrugs and carries on with his business and before he knows it an hour has already passed

“hey spirit” he calls out

and it’s like silent for ages

so he just shrugs and he’s about to leave when

“you can’t sell this house. it’s mine”

and mark just stops at the door and he can’t help but feel a lil sad at the spirit’s sad tone bc it probably has like so many memories in the house and it probably hasn’t crossed over or whatever (he’s not sure how the whole supernatural thing works but he’s watched ghost whisperer before)

the last thing mark says before he leaves is “i’ll be back tomorrow and you better be gone”

he thinks he hears the spirit scoff but maybe its just his ears

honestly mark has a hard time believing all of this and he goes to bed that night wondering h o w he’s going to deal with this situation

anyway mark turns up the next day and this time the spirit doesn’t seem as hostile 

that being said it continues to threaten mark and starts moving objects around

but honestly mark (and his newfound confidence) only rolls his eyes as makes a list of the repairs that need to be done (bc deep down he doesnt believe any of this is actually happening)

so they fall into a routine

mark keeps coming back and the spirit keeps threatening him

sometimes it tries to sabotage his work by moving things around 

mark’s gotten so used to it that he literally just sighs like “give it back”

the spirit actually listens to him and does

eventually they start talking more 

mark’s found out the spirit’s name is donghyuck but that’s all the information he knows 

he thinks it’d be inappropriate to ask stuff like “oh so how did u die” so they just end up having the most random conversations

“make sure you paint the hallway walls blue. the mustard yellow is so outdated”

“you’ll leave and let me sell the house if i paint them blue?”

“i never said that”

and mark ends up spending more time at the house than necessary

so one day jaehyun pulls him aside at work n he’s all “dude??? are u ok? you’re hardly in the office these days”

and mark’s like “yeah man u know its just the repairs for the house they’re taking ages”

jaehyun is suspicious but shrugs it off and tells him to be careful

taeil asks how the task is going and mark suddenly gets all nervous for no reason bc HOW IS THE TASK GOING??? he doesnt even know


he just gives another casual response n says the house should be ready soon for him to start bringing in clients

taeil just pats his back and wishes him good luck

when mark finishes work that evening he literally feels so down bc he literally had one j o b but here he is being all chummy with a ghost that haunts this house and its all just so messed up in his head

he doesnt know what makes him do it but that evening he ends up going to the house

“someone’s working the night shift”

mark just blinks in confusion at the words because what the heck. he’s meant to be here for work and this isn’t work so w h y is he here at 7pm on a friday???

instead he just takes a seat on the floor by the wall in the empty living area and sighs like a sad puppy

“what’s the matter?” donghyuck asks and his voice sounds genuinely concerned??? if anything it scares mark a bit

“who - no. what are you?” he finally asks

and then there’s silence

it’s literally like that for almost an hour before mark asks again

“are you like some kind of ghost? spirit? do you need help crossing over? i just. i really need you to leave and you’re not making my job any easier and i’m so confused and half of me doesn’t even believe any of this is real”

silence

it almost convinces mark that he really is going mad because there’s no such thing as ghosts and he’s just talking to an empty house

until a quiet voice says

“i’m neither of those”

mark feels so, so confused and he just ruffles his hair in frustration

“then what are you?”

“what’s your favorite color?”

he’s taken aback by the question 

nonetheless, he responds with a quiet “green”

“green is disgusting. red is better”

“red is literally the color of the devil i’m guessing thats what you are”

he’s expecting an angry remark but instead he’s met with soft laughter and all mark can do is smile in return

he ends up spending the night at the house talking to donghyuck all night

it’s a saturday the next day and mark is so co n f u s  e d when he wakes up to the smell of pancakes?

he follows the smell and finds a plate of pancakes sitting at the table with a note “i’m assuming you never ate dinner last night. eat up - D”

mark thinks he’s living in a dream bc did a ghost just?? COOK for him??

reality at this point has become so warped in his mind that he doesn’t care anymore and he starts eating

he hears laughter 

“calm down youre eating as if its your last day on earth” 

he sticks up a middle finger at no one in particular, hoping donghyuck will see it from wherever he is, and he’s only met with more laughter

when he’s finished eating and rinses his plate (which he has no idea where it came from) he’s thinking about what donghyuck said to him last night about not being a ghost

“donghyuck”

“mark”

for a brief moment he’s startled. it’s the first time donghyuck’s said his name and he’s not sure how he feels about it. if anything, the tips of his ears growing red must indicate a positive sign 

“what ar- i mean. how do yo- no. what do you look like?”

silence

he runs a hand through his hair with a frustrated sigh before leaving the house again

he doesn’t return for another week

when mark comes back, he’s with a client

mr johnny seo and his boyfriend chittaphon seem extremely keen in the property and want to move in despite hearing rumors about a ghost

mark doesn’t know whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing

johnny and chittaphon are into that buzzfeed unsolved kind of shit and run their own vlog series on youtube and theyre just e c s t a t i c that they might be moving into a haunted house

mark thinks theyre weird as shit but he wants that promo

donghyuck probably doesn’t mind sharing anyway

when he thinks back to donghyuck he feels a pang in his chest and dare he say it, he misses them? 

anyways

mark takes the couple back to the house and he feels weird

he can’t pinpoint what’s wrong but he just feels strange inside his chest

there are two things he’s learnt about johnny and chittapon:

one, they cant keep their hands off each other

and two, they can’t stop filming every waking moment of their lives

so when they’re following him to the house with their giant ass camera and chittaphon’s giggles, mark can only roll his eyes as he inserts the key 

but the door won’t open

mark’s confused - he hadn’t come back to change the locks so why won’t the key fit?

he feels slightly flustered in the presence of the couple and their camera and he laughs nervously

they must feel pretty bad for him because they laugh nervously too

mark tries again but to no avail and sighs in frustration when it hits him: donghyuck - this was clearly his doing 

mark clears his throat awkwardly before turning back to the couple “i’m sor-”

“LEAVE AT ONCE”

johnny and chittaphon jump back, eyes wider than saucers while mark has to c o n t a i n himself from rolling his eyes at donghyuck’s ~scary voice~

he half expects the couple to run away but instead johnny only begins to roll the camera once again and there’s a look of nervous excitement on chittaphon’s face

mark turns to the door once again and hisses “donghyuck open the door”

he hopes the couple haven’t heard him but judging by the looks on their faces, they have

“LEAVE MY HOME AT ONCE BEFORE I CURSE YOU AND YOUR FAMILIES”

and mark can only snort

johnny looks absolutely f a s c i nat e d by this point and mark groans internally before beginning to knock on the door

“donghyuck not cool just open the damn d o o r before i break it down”

there’s silence and mark takes it as his cue to try unlocking the door with his set of keys again 

it works and he allows the couple to enter

donghyuck attempts to scare the trio a few times during mark’s tour of the house by moving things around - causing johnny to drop his camera at one point and chittaphon to curse at him for bringing it because its probably broken now

anyway the tour goes t e rr i b ly 

mark is pissed

he’s not sure what johnny and chittaphon are feeling

when he sees the couple off he just shuts the door angrily and donghyuck just g i g g le s 

“what the fuck man did u have to do that?”

“i told you to leave”

“and i told you to leave. what is even your problem???” 

at this point mark’s just yelling and donghyuck doesnt seem to care tbh

there are a few more clients he tries to bring that week and the week after

they all go awfully thanks to donghyuck and by the end of the fourth week mark is on the verge of giving up

donghyuck on the other hand seems to be having way too much fun 

“can you just like, stop?” mark sighs 

he’s very very tired at this point and he’s considering giving the keys back to taeil and telling him he can’t do it

he’s picks up his blazer that he’d taken off earlier and is about to leave when he hears a 

“where are you going?”

mark just releases the loudest snort before turning to the empty walls of the house and raising a brow at nothing in particular

“are you kidding me? i’m done. congrats donghyuck you get to keep your damn house”

donghyuck doesn’t say anything 

- when mark shakes his head and turns to open the front door 

it won’t open

“very funny, donghyuck. open it so i can leave”

he’s met with silence a g a i n so he pulls the keys out of his pocket 

“wait!”

he whips his head around in confusion bc its the first time he’s heard donghyuck speak in such a desperate tone

he feels his ears growing red again

“uh.. yes?”

there’s a couple seconds of silence before donghyuck speaks in a quiet voice

“you asked me what i was right?”

mark just scoffs bc why is he even having this conversation at this point

he decides to answer anyway 

“like every day but sure”

“go to the loft” 

mark spends a few seconds contemplating whether he really should or not

he follows his gut instinct and makes his way to the loft

he’s only actually been up to the loft once just because it takes forever to get up there 

when he climbs up the ladder and looks around at the empty space he shrugs

“well?”

“go up to the bookshelf on the far left”

mark feels like a child being directed right now but he follows the instructions anyway

he feels slightly nervous and a part of him wants to escape

its congested up here and he can feel the back of his neck grow sweaty like he’s been waiting for this moment for ages!!!

a part of him wants to run out of the house as quick as possible he’s not even sure what hes expecting

“now um.. move that red book on the end”

mark’s hand is s h a k i ng at this point and he slowly does what hes been told

suddenly????? the bookshelf starts moving 

and then it hits mark

its a fake bookshelf thats actually meant to be a revolving door

mark is literally about to collapse bc he doesnt know whats waiting for him on the other side 

when the door finally reaches the other side all he can do is stare

he feels like he’s in a different world, standing in the loft which resembles an open space apartment, with a tiny window and a mini kitchen on the side, a door which leads to what he assumes is a bathroom and a small bed

but that’s not what catches mark’s attention

standing in front of him is the most b e a u t i f u l boy he’s ever seen in his entire life

he doesn’t look much younger than mark himself, slightly shorter with dark red hair, golden skin and the biggest chocolate brown eyes he’s seen on a person

mark doesn’t know how to react 

his mouth goes dry and the boy looks so frightened standing there in his own vicinity that mark’s afraid he’ll disappear if he touches him

“donghyuck?”

clearing his throat in an all too familiar voice, the boy speaks

“that would be me”

mark passes out

when he wakes up a while later, he’s on an unfamiliar bed and he looks around with narrowed eyes - realising that it wasn’t a dream and donghyuck is in fact a human living in a loft

mark looks around at the place and his jaw drops when he sees the wall opposite the bed is fULL of screens capturing cctv like images of almost every corner of the house

there are about three computer screens at the desk and mark is baffled

it looks like the bedroom of a teenage hacker 

“oh good you’re up. i thought you were dead” donghyuck says, walking over to him from the kitchen with a plate of food

mark sits up slowly, his head is aching and hearing donghyuck’s voice like this, so clear, so close to him, so soft - he thinks he’ll pass out again

he feels himself growing warm when donghyuck takes a seat beside him on the bed, putting the plate on his lap before getting up

before he can, mark grabs his wrist “wait”

“you probably have a lot of questions” donghyuck speaks over him

“well, yeah”

“eat up we’ve got all night” donghyuck says

mark hasn’t even made eye contact with the other boy yet because he can’t bring himself to

donghyuck is intimidatingly beautiful 

“i- what time is it?”

“9. you were out for hours”

“it’s been a long day” mark shrugs, taking a bite of the surprisingly good food donghyuck managed to cook up

so it turns out donghyuck’s family were the owners of the house but he’d been left an orphan as a teenager

in order to avoid being taken into social care, he made his own living space up in the loft so no one would find him - once he’d turned 18 they stopped looking for him and using his intelligent brain, he’d conjured up all the right devices to make it seem like the home was haunted by the ghosts of his family members

mark is baffled by the end of the explanation

“but the things moving around the house..”

“ever heard of remote controlled toys and simple physics?”

mark nods slowly and donghyuck just shrugs casually 

later on donghyuck shows mark how he’d managed to keep up this strange lifestyle of his

he also finds out that donghyuck is not much younger than himself like he’d predicted - there are only a few months separating them

mark ends up spending the weekend at donghyuck’s place

when it’s sunday night and mark’s getting ready to leave, donghyuck actually walks him up the front door

it feels weird to say the least - hearing donghyuck’s voice like this and not projecting through the speakers he had hidden behind the walls

he doesn’t want to admit it to himself, but donghyuck’s voice is sweeter than honey and he feels like melting every time the younger speaks to him in a quieter tone

“hey donghyuck” he says, once he reaches the door and turns to the younger

“hm?”

“you ever thought about just.. buying the house?”

donghyuck lets out a laugh

mark finds it condescending

“do you think i have the money to do that?”

“well since you’ve managed to maintain it so well - yeah” it turns out donghyuck does weird internet jobs from home where he gets paid a shit ton of cash through his online services - mark thinks its illegal but doesn’t want to say anything

donghyuck shoots him an amused smile and shakes his head 

just as mark pulls the handle of the door, there’s a warm hand on his and all he can do is gulp as he meets donghyuck’s nervous eyes

“you won’t still try to sell it.. right?”

mark remembers his outburst a few days ago and he sends the younger a sympathetic smile, shaking his head slowly “i won’t”

“thanks” and then donghyuck’s hand is gone

mark lowkey feels sad at the loss of warmth but it returns when donghyuck asks him in the most v u l ne r a b l e voice

“will you be back?”

“i don’t know”

mark tries to ignore the heartbroken expression on donghyuck’s face while he’s driving home that night

the next morning at work mark feels miserable 

mainly because it’s a monday but also bc of donghyuck

he’s just so conflicted and he doesnt know what to do

when he’s on his break and passes by taeil’s office, he hears taeil talking to one of his co-workers nakamoto yuta, a guy who transferred to the company a few months before mark joined

they’re talking about the house and most importantly they’re talking about mark

“boss just give me the house i’ll do it - i’ve already got a couple people i know who would be willing it purchase it despite the current situation”

“yuta you very well know this is mark’s-”

“boss it’s been over a month now and he’s scared off all his clients. please?”

there’s a pause before he hears a “alright. i’ll talk to mark tomorrow”

mark just p a n i c s because all he can think about is donghyuck

that night mark drives back to donghyuck’s place and the door is already open for him

“you came back” donghyuck sounds breathless - like he just ran down from the loft 

- mark sees sparkles in his eyes and his stomach does a backflip

“i came back” he repeats, the smile on his face growing

when he’s later sat down on donghyuck’s bed, eating the leftovers from the dinner donghyuck’s just made, mark explains his work situation to him

the younger boy nods, trying desperately not to let the sadness show on his face but fails

“hey” mark says, bringing a hand to the younger’s cheek

it’s weird but neither of them say anything

donghyuck thinks mark has the softest!! hands

“i won’t let them sell it” he says in the s o f t e s t voice and donghyuck wants to melt

instead he just scoffs and shrugs mark’s hand away

“if anything, i won’t let them sell it” he says and mark laughs

deep down they both know it’s not selling the house that’s the issue at hand; it’s mark not having an excuse to keep coming back

the atmosphere is weird and tense when mark leaves that evening

donghyuck walks him down to the door again and mark has the urge to hold has hand and tell him it’ll b ok 

just as mark’s about to get into his car donghyuck calls for him 

when mark turns around donghyuck is suddenly !! in his arms!! and wow! soft and warm donghyuck!! 

about a hundred alarm bells go off in mark’s head and his heart is POUNDING but all he does is bring his arms around the younger boy and tighten the hug

when mark arrives at his own place he thinks that donghyuck doesn’t just sound like honey, but smells sweet like it too

he decides honey is his favorite smell

the next day at work mark isn’t surprised when yuta greets him enthusiastically in the morning

he also isn’t surprised when both he and yuta are called into taeil’s office

mark has to act fast - he can’t let yuta take this from him

he’s been up all night thinking about this, thinking about donghyuck

so when taeil’s about to speak up, mark cuts him off:

“boss i want to purchase the property for myself”

both taeil and yuta’s jaws drop and he’s pretty sure he hears jaehyun gasp from outside the door - the office wasn’t exactly a large place

 “you want to do what”

“yes. i’ve thought this through and yeah. as a customer, i want to buy it. i’ve already spent so much time at it it practically already feels like home” donghyuck feels like home

“i’ve already thought about selling my place for a while now anyway - and i don’t think anyone else would be more willing to buy this house more than i am”

taeil and yuta stay silent 

eventually taeil agrees but hands over the property to yuta to sell to mark

when they all come to a deal or whatever mark is dragged aside by jaehyun

“is this why you spent so long there? you wanted it for yourself?” poor bb he is so confused 

mark just smiles and nods “yeah, guess i did”

mark doesn’t return to the house for another few days - he’s gotta tell his parents about his abrupt decision to sell his place and purchase a new one

since he lives in a different town from his parents, they offer to come with his younger brother jisung to help with the move out - he tells them its ok and that he has lots of helping hands here and he’ll call them over when he’s settled in

mark heads to the house towards the end of the week, the contract behind his back as he unlocks the door with his keys

“hey spirit - come out wherever you are!” he calls out playfully

to his surprise donghyuck’s already on his way down - trying not to smile at the sight of the man in front of him

“mark lee”

“donghyuck” he says, unable to contain his excitement as he holds up the paper in front of the younger 

donghyuck squints at it, confused for a moment before his eyes widen

“YOU DID WHAT?????////”

“i bought this house!” 

donghyuck doesn’t know whether he should laugh or cry

“what the hell you just bought my house?!”

mark’s slightly confused bc he thought donghyuck would be happy

donghyuck looks like he’s abt to burst into tears and mark the awkward turtle starts panicking again

“i - i thought it would be better than a random person buying it??” 

“nO because a random person would never buy this house for as long as im alive and now yOU just came out of nowhere and TOOK POSSESSION OF IT??!?!?” 

donghyuck’s a lil mad bc he feels like the house is all he’s got and now its gone and he’s mad at himself for letting his guard down in front of mark and getting so attached to mark and falling for mark and he doesn’t even realise he’s saying this all aloud until mark stares at him with wide eyes

“you what?”

silence

“you do realise not saying anything won’t work anymore since i can actually see you now, right?” 

silence

“donghyuck”

there’s a quiet mumble “sowhatifilikeyou”

mark feels like he’s about to comBUST

donghyuck’s face is literally the color of a tomato and he just shrinks and he’s so cute mark wants to kiss him

so he does

donghyuck’s lips taste like the warmth of the summer, the confused and nervousness of their feelings, but most importantly they taste sweet - just like honey, just like donghyuck

when mark parts from the kiss first, donghyuck’s fingers curl softly into the material of his shirt, he presses his forehead against the younger’s 

“i’m sorry i did this all without telling you - i just. i did what i felt was right. this feels right, donghyuck. being with you feels right.” mark’s just so nERVOUS and half of what he says comes out so shaky until donghyuck responds quietly

“i want to be with you”

mark wants to pass out

this time however, he doesn’t

anyways~~

time skip a couple of weeks 

donghyuck moves out from the loft and they settle into the house properly

after much insistence donghyuck removes the cameras from around the house except for the exterior and they turn one of the spare bedrooms into a little study for donghyuck where he can do his “illegal business” 

mark suggests him getting out a bit more and donghyuck reluctantly agrees 

mark takes donghyuck out on dates to the movie theatre and out for breakfast

donghyuck is so nervous in public and is practically glued to mark’s side the whole time it’s adorable

they’re both living so d om e s t i ca l ly its sickening

at mark’s housewarming he tells his family and friends that he met donghyuck through tinder

jaehyun doesn’t believe him bc donghyuck’s voice sounds so familiar but he doesn’t know where from - he chooses to drop it though bc the couple in front of him look so happy so he goes to bother sicheng

~~ 

“hey loser” donghyuck walks out from his study room one sunday afternoon when mark’s on the couch watching tv

“yeah??” mark lowers the volume

“cough up your rent for the month - we gotta pay the water bill cause your fatass won’t stop showering every two minutes”

mark almost chokes on his spit

“me?” 

donghyuck nods, flopping down to take a seat beside him

“idk if you’ve noticed but im the owner of this house if anything you should be coughing up rent”

donghyuck snorts “owner in name. we all know who this house rly belongs to”

mark gives him the stink eye “listen you little shi-mph”

before he can begin his string of insults donghyuck’s already climbed onto his lap and his lips are on mark’s

and they live happily ever after !!!!