#my classmate was telling me about when she had a c section last year and how it didn’t hurt but she could feel all the tugging and pulling

[eyecide]

Do people really get c-sections by choice that is so scary to me

[whereisten]

I Know What You Did Last Summer

Part 1 Preview | Part 1 | Part 2 Preview | Part 2

Summary: After a fun-filled graduation night, your heart is torn between your two best friends, Ten and Lucas. A fire is ignited between the three of you that isn’t as easy to calm as it was to start. And this lustful fire, just like any fire, spreads and seeks to destroy anything in its path, for there is no telling what Ten will do for you, or rather, to you.

Pairing: King!Ten x female reader (as well as Prince! Lucas)

Genre: Royalty!AU, love triangle, angst, smut, fluff

Warnings: manipulation, possessiveness, blackmail, cheating!, character death, mention of blood, alcohol use, smut!: threesome, unprotected sex, penetration (v and a), oral sex (m and f), hand job, fingering, fondling, c*eampie, biting, bdsm (paddle use, choking, rope use), orgasm denial, overstimulation, semi-public sex.

Word Count: 33.4k

Taglist: @suhweo @5shotsamericano @alreadyblondenow @khiphoptrash-0 @adorejaehyn @08skrr @ateez-babygirl

A/N: omggg it’s finally here! This fic is part of a group project organized by @neo-cult-ure . We are very excited to share this with you. It is a story set in the 19th century but based on the song “I know what you did last summer” Camilla Cabbage and Shawn Manatee. We took liberties with the time period, just a warning. We worked REALLY hard together and hope you enjoy!! Please reblog and comment, we’d love to know what you think❤️ as always, this is a work of fiction. The way we portray these idols should not be taken seriously or misconstrue anyone’s perception of them.

PART 1

[FEBRUARY 1894]

“You look wonderful, darling.” Your mother tightens your corset one final time as you hoisted yourself up on the dresser.

You look into the mirror in front of you and watch as one singular vein threatens to pop out from the center of your forehead. The thing about the “lovely” corsets you had to wear was that while they gave your body amazing curves, they gave you nothing but discomfort. But in the words of your mother, “A woman is only as worthy as she looks.” So yes, beauty is pain but beauty is also success.

“Ten would be a fool to not choose you as his wife next year.”

Oh, and that too. She wanted you to look good for Ten. She wanted all eyes to be on you at the Graduation Party you would be at later, but most importantly, she wanted you to look absolutely irresistible for the crown prince, aka the wealthiest bachelor in your country at the moment.

You and Ten had been best friends since middle school, and you admit, you’ve admired him since then. You weren’t sure if it was love, lust, or just a small crush..you knew you felt something when you looked at him.

Even so, the butterflies you felt in your chest when you saw a Ten couldn’t hold a candle to the family of birds that flew about inside when you looked at Lucas.

You met Lucas the same day that you met Ten. At the single cherry blossom tree not too far from school, that’s where you three had met a few years back.

You were sitting on the trunk of the blossoming tree, the falling petals decorating your hair and sticking to your wet cheek as you cried. A girl in school had bullied you because the boy she liked actually liked you. She made fun of your looks and even your family while your classmates just laughed.

So you ran as far away as you could. Eventually finding the lonely cherry blossom tree that stood so gloriously in the middle of a large field. You brought your knees to your chest and let your head fall onto your folded arms. It was bright and warm outside, the wind blew off of the lake behind the tree, making you feel comfortable and calm.

You raised your head slowly when you heard the laughter of two boys as they approached the tree.

“Do you think Ms. Hong will tell on me to your father?” One of them asked the other.

“Who cares..grades don’t matter when you’re of high status like us.” The other one sounded nonchalant and boastful.

You quietly sniffled and rubbed your eyes, hoping that you wouldn’t be noticed on the other side of the tree.

They continued to converse and a few minutes later you hear them gulp down something. One of them made a strange hissing sound while the other laughed.

Almost immediately, you can smell the harsh scent of alcohol. Your face scrunches, and suddenly a petal flies into your nose, making you sneeze loudly.

They both yelled out in shock when they hear you.

“WHO’S THERE?” One of their voices is raised in alarm. 

“I’m-I’m sorry..I was just..sitting here to be by myself for��a bit...” You sniffled as you stood up slowly.

The two boys stood up as well.“Why didn’t you say something? Were you just eavesdropping like a creep?” The shorter one asked with disgust.

“N-no..I’m sorry I was just-“

“Are you okay?” The taller one stepped forward. He noticed your red eyes and damp cheeks. You looked to the ground to avoid eye contact. You couldn’t see that he had already started to fall. You were so beautiful, and he wondered how he had never seen you before.

You stepped back and nodded. “I’ll be leaving now, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“No-no you don’t have to..” He turned to the shorter one and raised his eyebrows. It was as if he was silently telling Ten to be nice and invite you to their drinking party. Ten got the hint and was hesitant, but he too had a strange feeling in him when he saw you.

“Um..you don’t have to leave. Maybe talking about it will make you feel better.” Ten stepped forward and smiled.

“I’m Ten..this is Lucas, what’s your name?”

You finally looked up at the pair of dashingly handsome young men. Lucas in particular caught your attention because he was just so tall. His smile was warm, as if it was competing with the sun itself. But Ten was just as bright, his eyes crinkling at the sides as his skin dazzled.

“Come on, let’s get to know each other. Drink this and you’ll feel better, I promise.” Ten took your hand and helped you sit back down.

And that was the beginning of your friendship. The three of you did everything together through middle and high school, and had spent plenty more time at the tree.

Today, in your early twenties now, your friendship had reached its apex. You’ve all finally graduated and are able to focus on your individual royal duties. And while you couldn’t wait to be finished with tedious school work, you were nervous for what was to come. You could no longer rely on each other for company at any time in the day. Would your friendship still flourish as you became adults with families and responsibilities?

Ten held the graduation party at his castle because it was the largest one in the land and his parents would be away that night for a trip. It was basically his until he got back.

You bid your parents goodbye once they dropped you off and handed you over to Ten.

Ten stood at the door gawking over you. You always look beautiful but tonight you looked..angelic. Your hair and skin were radiant in the moonlight, and Ten swore you were untouchable, ghostly. It felt as though you were some fairytale brought to life. He had welcomed so many other graduates from your school to his palace that night, but none of them stopped time like you did. Your silver gown was cinched tightly at the waist, making the top of your breasts look especially rounded. 

“What do you think? It’s a bit much, isn’t it?” You laugh when you see him staring.

Ten gives you a large smile. But before he could speak, Lucas’ boastful voice echoes out.“Perfect..you’re perfect, y/n.” 

Lucas steps from behind Ten and closer to you. You didn’t notice Ten’s smile fade as you shift your focus from him and to the tall man beside him instead.

Lucas’ goofy smile and deep voice make you blush and you hope you didn’t possibly look as hot as your cheeks felt. Lucas takes your hand and leads you inside. Ten follows behind and closes his lips tightly.

The two men both wore their royal suits that were decorated with honorary badges and stripes. Their hair was fixed back and they both looked older, more mature. They no longer looked like those rule breaking teens you met at the tree that day in middle school.

The party was filled with every graduate. Live music played and drinks were being served in every corner of every room in the extravagant, gold-filled mansion. Lucas couldn’t help but watch you as you sipped your drink. All the girls watched him, but he couldn’t get over you.

And Ten felt the same way, however, as the host, he didn’t have much time to just stand around and talk with his friends. He had to greet everyone while Lucas spent time with you.

Out of the corner of Ten’s eye, he could see Lucas’ gaze and smile.

It made him feel...left out. But he also couldn’t ignore something else. A desire for you. A desire for Lucas. A desire for requited love. The lust he felt brought out a jealousy that ate at him. He loved you both and he wanted to be with the two of you..badly. This friendship was everything and more to him, and he’d hate to feel like he were losing it.

He finally made his way over to the main ballroom once all of the guests were accounted for.

“You guys look nice and ..comfortable,” You say as you hold your waist and let out a heavy breath.

Ten chuckles. “I’m sorry you have to wear that.”

“Yeah, yeah I’m sorry too.” You grabbed another two glasses and downed them in an effort to numb the feeling of the wires that relentlessly dig into your mid section.

Lucas smirks. “That’s my girl.” He downs another glass too as Ten watches him eye you up and down, the alcohol clearly taking effect on the both of you.

The band started to play a new song, distracting Lucas and giving Ten the perfect opportunity to get some alone time with you. Ten held his hand out quickly and looked at you through wide eyes.

“Dance with me..please.”

You nodded and took his hand, a look of surprise on your face at your best friend asking you for a dance. Usually he’d want to play a game or talk until the sun came out. A dance was very uncharacteristic of him. 

But still, you stepped closer to him. He gently took both hands in his and pulled you closer to his chest, keeping his eyes on yours.

“So this is it?” Ten says softly.

You hum and look down to his neck, his gaze too intense for you to follow as you sway back and forth slowly.

“I guess it is.” You nod.

“We..can still hang out right? You, me, Lucas.”

“I’m not sure..my parents are strict when it comes to me fulfilling my royal duties, I may not have time. I have to get used to wearing corsets and makeup like this all the time..which sucks but..”

“You look amazing.” Ten gives a small smile that makes your throat close up. You had known this boy for years yet it felt like you were dancing with a handsome stranger.

You swallow hard. “Thank you, Ten.”

“I have a feeling we’ll be together for a long time.” Ten knew he couldn’t let you go, he knew that when given the chance, he’d choose you as his wife. Your parents expected the marriage as well as himself. But what about Lucas? Surely he could keep Lucas around, but he wouldn’t be able to touch you or even to gaze at you for long because you’d officially be his.

“What makes you think that?” You ask, eyes low and tracing over his parted lips. The alcohol has made you slightly dizzy and lustful. You started to think of Ten’s lips and how they’d feel on yours

“I see the way you look at me, sort of like how you’re looking at me now.” His heart beat is on yours, slowing down to match the tempo of your rumbling chest, his steamy breath taps the crook of your neck as he leans down.

Your eyes close once you feel his soft surface of his beautiful lips graze your neck. Ten gives you a gentle kiss as you whimper quietly. He wraps an arm around your back to push your body closer to his. Your chest starts to heave and your body begins to feel weak at Ten’s touch.

“Ten..” you whisper but your whining is still loud enough for Ten to hear over the violins.

It’s just the two of you in the middle of the ballroom as Ten nibbles the skin of your neck softly.

And just as you’re about to moan his name once more, you’re startled by a tap on your shoulder. Your eyes open quickly when you recognize the fresh scent of someone other than Ten.

“Lucas?”

Ten also moves quickly to remove his lips from your neck.

“Another drink?” Lucas asks as he forces a smile. Both you and Ten can see that he is forcing it to hide a look of disappointment. He looks hurt and confused.

This felt wrong, but it also felt so right, like you had cheated on a man that you love with another man that you love.

You look at Ten who also looks sorrowful, his mouth falling open but no words seem to come out.

You shake your head. “No thank you…I feel like I can’t breathe...” You hurriedly brush past the two men and head up the large grand staircase.

You walk down the long hallway and let yourself into the room at the very end, hoping that no one will find you as you try to collect yourself.

Your hands fidget as they untie your dress in the back and slide the top half down to your hips. You then start to untie the corset, but get tired, plopping yourself onto the bed while breathing heavily.

“Damn it.” You curse to yourself quietly. How could this happen so fast?

Ten made you feel intoxicated and needy, but Lucas’ face made you feel sadness. You didn’t regret that moment, you’d been waiting to be touched by Ten and it finally happened.

You stood up again and went to untie your corset.

A few seconds pass when you’re startled by the door opening. You turn around fast, your hands covering your chest as you ask, “Who’s there?!”

“It’s me! I’m sorry..I—I’ll leave.” Lucas glances at your exposed body for a millisecond but quickly turns around to leave.

“Wait..Lucas..”

He stops, his back still facing you.

“I need help..”

Lucas turns back to you slowly. You turn your back to him and drunkenly point to the laces in the back.

“Please untie this for me so I can know what it’s like to breathe again.”

Lucas chuckles softly and it’s like music to your ears. He walks over slowly, his heavy steps on the wood floor making your heart race each time he gets closer.

He finally towers behind you, keeping eye contact with you through the huge mirror that stands in front of you.

Lucas goes to untie it, but smirks when you shiver from the light graze of his fingers against your back.

“What was that?”

“I-I don’t know.” You stumble over your words once you break eye contact and look at a painting on the wall to the right.

“Did you like it?”

You look back at Lucas through the mirror. His expression is dark, daring and that’s when you notice that he is untying your corset at an unbelievably slow rate.

“I..”

“I’m your best friend too, you have to be honest with me.” Lucas takes his middle finger and runs it down along your arm, his eyes glued to your exposed shoulders. “What did it feel like to have his lips on you?”

The low lighting in the room provided a sharp contrast to the bright aura in the ballroom you both were in before. The ballroom was decorated by enormous chandeliers. Instead, in this room, there was one single lamp in the corner of the room and the moonlight that poured in through the large window beside the bed.

The new lighting allowed for you to see the sharp features of Lucas’ gorgeous face, how his high cheekbones made him look dangerously handsome. His expression was dark as he spoke, his lips pursed.

“It felt..good.”

“I want to make you feel good too, will you let me?” Lucas’ voice is even lower than it was a few minutes ago. You breathe heavily, but having your corset a little looser than it was before makes it less painful. Your legs close tightly as Lucas’ husky voice makes you wet.

Lucas fixes your hair from one side of your neck to the other side then leans down and kisses you. A weak breath leaves your open mouth as your head instantly falls back. 

Lucas lips are plumper but just as soft as Ten’s. His delicate kisses make your heart race.

“Yes..” Your eyes close as Lucas begins to suck hard onto the warm skin on your shoulder.

His hands hold your waist as he pulls you closer, your back falling flush against his broad chest. Your hands reach behind you and find his head. Lucas moans when he feels your dainty fingers massage his scalp. He then kisses your jawline while you back into him more. He glances down to see your breasts rising up and down rapidly as you grow hotter.

His touch was everything you needed right now. Ten’s kiss made you needy and you knew you needed more.

You moan when you brush against Lucas’ pelvis and feel his hard member poke your back. You reach down and palm it through the fabric, earning a throaty groan from him.

He humps into your hand while still sucking your neck. “y/n... I need you.” His breath, coated in alcohol, hits your neck, leaving it with goosebumps once you hear his low voice.

You turn to him and look into his eyes. They search yours, quietly asking for approval as you lick your lips.

You continue to palm his member, his breathing became shallow and you knew he couldn’t take your teasing much longer.

You push the dress past your hips now and down to your knees. He holds your hands as he helps you step out of it. Your corset still on, you lead him to the bed where you push his chest lightly, making him fall onto it.

He sits at the edge and watches as you shimmy his pants off for him. He then takes his jacket off and unbuttons his shirt before tossing them both to the side where his pants and your dress also lie.

You are about to get on your knees when he holds your arm to stop you. “No..your knees will hurt..on the bed, my love.”

Hearing him speak so softly and tenderly to you while calling you his love made your heart flutter. You couldn’t help but smile widely.

He pushes himself up on the bed and towards the headboard where he sits up straight and rests his back.

“Come here.” He whispers.

You crawl over slowly and watch as his lustful eyes fall onto your breasts still accentuated and pushed forward by your corset. You only keep it on because while it did hurt, it makes you feel unbelievably sexy.

Once you are finally over his hips, you look into his eyes as you draw down the waistband of his underwear, his length sprung free, the tip red and leaking with precum already.

You lick your lips as you marvel at how big he is. You figured he’d be big based off of his towering height, but you didn’t expect this. Your womanhood trembles when you imagine what it would feel like to be filled up by him, you feel yourself leak through your own underwear at the thought.

You run a hand along his abs as he breathes heavily and watches you through wide eyes. Lucas had dreamt of nights with you for so long, he never thought it would actually happen and now he was over the moon. But deep down, he wants to make sure you are comfortable.

“Y/n..we don’t have to..”

“But I want to, I really do.” You lean down and start by kissing his tip, teasing him as you barely stick your tongue out. You look up at Lucas watching his mouth fall open as you flatten your tongue against it.

You lick the shining liquid that trickled down the sides like it was an ice cream pop while your ass stays up in the air. The sight of you like this for him makes him dizzy, he imagines himself pounding into you from behind on this very bed, hearing your moans, feeling you clench around him as you grip the sheets.

His dick twitches in response to his wild imagination and the fact that you finally take the tip into your mouth, swallowing him to hear him groan.

You move your mouth down as far as you could onto his length, but stop when you feel him hit the back of your throat. You use your hands to cover the rest.

Lucas’ head falls back while you hollow your cheeks and lick across every vein. He resists the urge to buck his hips upward and make you gag.

“y/n..God, that feels good.” His eyes close as he listens to the sloppy slurping sounds fill the cold air of the room.

You hum to send a vibration onto his dick and make him tremble, his mouth falling open as he gasps. 

You withdraw your mouth from him and pumped his member with your hands, letting spit fall onto him while looking up at his gorgeous body, the way his abs flexed as he tensed to keep himself from releasing too soon.

You were both too enraptured with each other to notice that the door had been opened.

Ten’s eyes widen at the sight of you bent over, taking Lucas into your mouth while your round ass stuck up in the air. He almost immediately feels his pants grow strained.

He felt a growing tension between the three of you, but he didn’t think that it would lead to this. He enjoyed watching Lucas be pleasured and while he wished it were him being the one to bring these throaty groans out of Lucas he also wished it were him underneath you, watching as your cute cheeks became filled with nothing but him.

He too had imagined many times what it would be like to make love to you. To have you calling out his name into the night.

He knew neither of you noticed that he was watching from the doorway, your moans growing louder as each second went by and Lucas got closer.

He would’ve pleasured himself quietly as he watched, but that jealousy he felt lit a fiery lust that needed to be put out. He had to touch you or Lucas.

He slams the door shut, startling both you and Lucas. You flip your body over beside Lucas’ legs and quickly wipe your mouth with your arm.

Ten walks over slowly, a devilish smirk on his face as he looks at your two bodies.

“Ten! It’s not what it—“ Lucas opens his mouth but struggles to form coherent sentences.

“Shhh..it’s okay, keep going.” Ten shakes his head and watches you intensely. You can’t tell if he is jealous or upset with you, it was a poker face that you just can’t read.

Both you and Lucas felt sorry for what felt like betrayal.

You look to Lucas, your eyes pleading for him to tell you what to do. When you are met with silence you then look back at Ten. 

“Ten..touch me.” You swallow hard and look up at Ten, your look of worry fading into that of lust. You liked them both, you needed them, and since Ten already caught you, why not make the best of the awkward situation?

You and Ten look back at Lucas who gives a small smile and nods. You get back on your knees and reach out for Ten who walks over to the edge of the opposite side of the bed.

Lucas strokes his member which surprisingly hadn’t fallen since Ten arrived, the idea of a threesome only made this hotter for him. He watches as you help Ten take off his jacket then unbutton his shirt with shaking hands.

You don’t know why you were nervous when it came to Ten. The alcohol is wearing off and you aren’t as brave as you were when you first started with Lucas.

Ten’s feline gaze on your body makes your face hot and his exposed chest didn’t make it any easier for you. Ten takes your shaking hands into his and pulls you closer to him. He leans down and kisses you deeply, your eyes closing as his tongue enters your mouth to embrace yours.

You turn your head and let your tongue trace over the inside of his mouth before tugging his bottom lip between your teeth. Ten enjoys the taste, thinking of how Lucas’ precum that once coated your tongue is now on his.

When he finally lets go to breathe, he opens his dark eyes and gazes at you. He leans down, his bottom lip brushing lightly against your ear lobe.

“He needs you..” He whispers lowly and tilts his head towards Lucas.

You nod and head back over to him, you’re still light headed from your passionate kiss with Ten. One that you had to admit was filled with years of sexual tension.

You retake your position over Lucas’ lap and bend down to take him into your mouth once again. Lucas licks his lips and groans.

Ten steps out of his pants and walks to the side of the bed. He begins to stroke his own member as he watches you work your mouth on Lucas while face down, ass up.

You’re beautiful with your heated skin sparkling in the moonlight, your hair pushed to the side and your pretty hands around Lucas’ member.

Lucas then holds a hand out and looks to Ten.

“She’s been a good girl..you should touch her.” Lucas tells Ten before biting his lips and reaching out for Ten’s hard and glistening cock.

Ten lets Lucas take it in his hand and stroke it for him. His mouth falling open as he watches Lucas’ large hand wrap around him, spreading the pre cum as he moves it up and down.

Ten then places his hand onto your butt cheek, circling around it before giving it a smack.

You feel your walls clench after the action and moan, the vibrations in your throat then making Lucas groan as well.

Ten traces two fingers over your covered womanhood, then draws the soaked underwear down your legs so you are exposed to the cold air. You hiss at the exposure, but it’s cut short when you feel two of Ten’s icy cold fingers on your entrance.

Ten’s heart beats wildly as he is touched by Lucas and touches you at the same time.

He feels that this as confirmation that you both love him just as he loves you and it makes his head spin.

He circles around your folds slowly, then on top to collect your juices. He teasingly slides between them with just one finger.

“Ten..please.” You withdraw your mouth from Lucas’ member and cry out. You’re yearning for some friction, anything that will calm the aching between your legs.

Ten chuckles at the site of you begging, then presses two fingers into you. You fall forward and whimper as you clench around his long fingers.

You go back to sucking Lucas as he pumps Ten harder. He bucks his hips into you because he’s close and your moans push him to the edge.

Ten’s fingers curve into you, pushing against your sweet spot over and over. You breathe heavily and close your eyes as you tremble around him.

Ten leaks all over Lucas’ hand while they both watch and listen to the lewd sounds created by your mouth and wet opening.

Ten then thinks of something else he’d like to see, so he takes his fingers away leaving you a moaning mess as you feel empty again.

He takes Lucas’ hand away from his dripping cock then goes behind you, pulling your hair so that you kneel into the bed, your back straight as Ten presses your back to his chest behind you. You lick your lips and look at Lucas.

Lucas looks puzzled as he watches Ten turn your head towards his. He kisses you passionately again, this time from behind and you can feel his member poke your ass.

Lucas was so close to cumming, and he is somewhat annoyed by Ten stopping everything completely to kiss you. You both kiss sloppily as Ten’s hand goes to your front side, tapping against your clit to gain a cry from you.

Ten lets go of your lips, his mouth still close to yours as he looks into yours eyes. “If it gets to be too much say the word ‘gold,’ or tap either one of us three times.”

His voice is softer now, he looks at you with so much care and concern.

You nod before he helps you get rid of your underwear completely. Now, you kneel over Lucas’ lap in nothing but your corset.

“Do you want to feel him inside you?” Ten whispers into your ear as you lick your lips. Lucas bites his own too as he watches you hover over him.

“Y-yes.” You let out breathily.

“Good girl..ride him.” Ten releases his grip on your waist and lets you go forward to Lucas.

Your legs are shaky as you spread them open over his member; still sturdy and up straight.

You sink down slowly. The air is filled with gasps as his cock is enraptured by your velvety walls, filling you up easily and stretching you out.

You move up and down a few times to get used to his girth while he moans. His abs flex under you, his broad shoulders and biceps tense as well. His hair is dark with sweat and still pushed back as he bites his lips and watches your pussy swallow him whole. He runs his hands up and down your thighs as you move.

Ten gently pushes you forward so you press your hands flat onto Lucas’ pecs. You bounce on him and look into his eyes. 

Ten aligns his aching cock with your ass and slowly slides it in.

You gasp at the feeling of his round tip stretching your hole out.

You let out a whimper when he holds your waist to push into you even more. It was a strange feeling, but he gave you time to breathe and adjust. He’s only about halfway in, but you are completely filled up by the two men.

“Do you want me to keep going?” Ten asks, his voice strained as he struggles to hold his desire to push all the way in.

“Yes, Ten.. don’t stop.” You want to please them both and everything was so hot already, you couldn’t imagine stopping now.

Ten pushes more and you let out another cry, this time it’s louder.

Lucas is tempted to tell Ten to stop, he’s worried for you but he swallows hard and holds your hand tightly.You look up at his face of worry and breathe heavily. You give him a reassuring nod before moaning.

Ten finally pushes all the way in as the air leaves your body, you fall onto Lucas, your head in the crook of his neck as Ten begins to move in and out of your small opening.

Ten groans. “You’re so tight, sweetheart.”

“Good girl, you’re such a good girl for us.” Lucas pushes your hair out of your face and kisses your cheek before wiping away a tear. He kisses your lips to help you through it. He can feel your heated body tremble from being so filled up, and while it is hot, he couldn’t help but be worried for you.

For a moment, you are transported to paradise when you kiss Lucas, his lips felt so good on yours, they felt like a warm hug in the winter. You mewl as you lick across his bottom lip.

Ten is jealous by the kiss because he can tell that you and Lucas are entangled with each other. Even when Ten is inside you, even when Ten holds Lucas’ hand, you both are still enraptured with just each other.

Ten holds your neck, lightly tugging you away from Lucas. Your eyes fly open as you are separated. He then runs his fingers through your hair and grips it before pushing you down into the bed. You’re face down in the bed now as Ten’s pounds into you harder, clearly upset that you were not focused on him for a moment.

He pushes faster, letting his thrust push your body forward. Your corset begins to shift downward as your breasts fall out of it from the repeated rough thrusting by Ten.

Your body is in a strange, contorted position as it is fucked into by two cocks. You can feel the two members run against each other, separated by a thin, silky wall. The friction feels amazing, for they both slide in and out of you easily. Lucas helps you by moving his hips and rubbing your back.

He holds Ten’s hand with his other hand, intertwining their fingers and locking eyes with him as they both groan and pant.

They fuck into your lifeless body, filling the room with filthy noises. Your essence runs down your thighs in a steady stream and onto them both. It’s a mixture of pain and pleasure as Lucas’ tip presses into your insides when he goes deeper and Ten continues to bury himself into you, his pelvis making a slapping noise as it hits your ass cheeks. 

You start to kiss Lucas’ neck, then suck onto it.

Lucas moans. “Fuck, I’m close.”

Ten gives you a harsh thrust, causing you to accidentally bite into Lucas’ neck.

Lucas becomes undone with the action. He attempts to slip out of you so he doesn’t cum inside, but Ten smirks, gripping your hips and pushing you back down onto Lucas. Lucas has to release into you as he sees stars and groans. You clench around him as a result, feeling every twitch and vein as he releases deep into you. 

Ten cums too from all of the vibrations he feels against his cock while inside you.

He buries himself so deep while you whimper into Lucas’ shoulder.

You cum hard, your eyes roll in the back of your head as Lucas holds your body still.

You all breathe heavily, your body relaxing into Lucas as Ten pulls out of you and falls to the side.

But Ten isn’t done. He crawls over you and flips your body over so you’re facing him.

“Put your legs on hers.” He instructs Lucas.

Lucas sits up, his back against the headboard once more as you rest in between his legs. He doesn’t question Ten, he only does as he’s told, for he too is curious to see what he has in mind for you. Lucas places his legs on yours, entangling them so he’s in charge of where they go.

You’re too tired to say anything, your chest rising and falling as you are still reeling from your climax. 

Ten gazes at your breasts and hard nipples. “You’re so beautiful, I just want to taste you..I want to taste you both.” Ten gets onto his stomach and crawls over to your opening, his breath fanning it as it leaks of cum from both you and Lucas.

You’re still sensitive so his hot breath makes you flinch, you try to close your legs but Lucas forced them to stay still.

Ten licks his lips. “Open.” He doesn’t look at you, he only looks at Lucas.

Lucas spreads your legs open by moving his longer ones, bending them at the knee so they’re further apart.

Lucas then plays with your nipple, pinching it lightly before pumping your breast. “That felt good, right? Do you want to cum again, baby girl?”

Your eyes are closed when Lucas’ faint whisper enters your ears. You can feel his abs flex against your naked back. His body is hot and comforts yours, almost distracting you from the cold air between your wavering legs.

“Yes..” You murmur before swallowing hard. You were greedy for both men, ready to do whatever they wanted you to.

Lucas’ large hands on your chest has you ready for another climax.

He nibbles onto your ear before kissing your neck again while Ten leaves a sloppy trail of kisses from the crook of your knee to the apex of your thighs.

His mouth latches onto your thigh, sucking the skin hard between his teeth. He then runs his skinny fingers in between your folds, drawing a slow circle to gather your essence as well as Lucas’.

Your mouth falls open into a lousy cry, to which Ten responds to by shoving those fingers into your mouth.

“Suck, baby, taste yourself.” Ten’s breath fans your opening, making you flinch.

You close your mouth and suck hard, licking between the two fingers as your eyes close. Ten watches everything, he enjoys the way your tongue feels on him, and the way Lucas’ large fingers continue to play with your perky nipples.

“Look at me, sweetheart.” Ten beckons your attention.

You open your eyes and look into his just as he licks a long stripe up your opening.

You whimper and try to close your legs again, but Lucas easily overpowers you. You’re more sensitive than you thought.

Ten chuckles and licks you slowly again.

You look at the dark haired man between your legs and cry out when he gives a look so wicked it makes your heart weak.

“I’ve been wanting to do this for so long, how about you, Lucas? Have you wanted to fuck our sweet princess?” Ten emphasizes the word ‘fuck’ and it sends chills up your spine.

He kisses your entrance then buries his face into the apex of your legs, licking into your opening as his perfect nose presses against your clit.

“Oh God, Ten!” You cry out and your head falls back. You’re still sensitive and you try to escape from Lucas’ grip, but you have no such luck.

“Of course, Ten.” Lucas’ warm breath hits your neck as he speaks against it. He watches his fingers flick across the hard nipples that stick out from your perfectly round breasts.

He squeezes them hard as he feels himself grow again. “I’ve always wanted fuck our beautiful friend. I can just imagine how sweet her pussy tastes.”

Ten pulls away and licks his lips. “She tastes like the most expensive meal I’ve ever had, Lucas.”

Hearing them talk dirty about you makes you clench around the tip of Ten’s tongue. The idea that they’ve fantasized about you makes that familiar knot in the base of your stomach begin to grow again.

Ten grows hard as well at the sound of your whimpers and the taste of your wet flower.

He pushes two fingers into you again, all while kissing your clit and eating you out while you were spread open for him.

Lucas takes your hand and places it onto his member. “Sweet girl, touch me.”

You begin to pump Lucas as he groans into your ear. The low tone of his voice makes you clench around Ten’s fingers. You begin to feel dizzy, Ten’s tongue drawing circles onto your clit as he finger tips curve into you and press against your G-spot repeatedly. He licks everything up before flattening his tongue against you while you jump. You moan loudly, and you’re not sure if the other attendees at the party heard you, but you realized that it got quieter. Maybe it was because they were all going home now.

Ten withdraws his fingers when he feels that you are close. He fixes himself over you and holds his cock while licking his lips.

Now that you’ve gotten a good look at it, you see that it’s not as long as Lucas’ but has a curve and girth that is sure to drive you mad.You bite your lips and look at Ten with wide eyes as he strokes it.

“That’s it, baby, you want my cock in your pussy now, isn’t that right?”

You nod, but Lucas takes your chin into his hand. “Use your words, baby girl.”

“Y-yes. Yes, fuck me, Ten.” You beg and whimper.

Ten smirks and lowers himself. He teases you more by tapping the tip of his cock onto your bud a few trikes. He then guides the tip along your folds, parting them to coat his pink tip with your essence.

“Ten..please.” Every time he touches your entrance, you feel your heart begin to race in anticipation.

He watches closely as he pushes into you hard, your body moving upwards against Lucas as the air is knocked out of your heaving chest.

You close your eyes tightly while you adjust. Ten grips your waist hard and uses it as an anchor to pull his body into yours more, pushing all the way into you so your skin slaps against his.

Ten pounds into you relentlessly from the front this time while you pump your hand up and down around Lucas. 

Ten presses your legs further apart, you feel like they might break as his hips snap into yours. You cry out his name, your eyes watering. His cock runs against your walls rapidly as he chases after his high. His hips make a slapping sound. The curve of his cock allows him to press against your sweet spot and his rapid speed makes you clench.

Your head falls back against Lucas as he grunts into your ear. “Fuck this is hot, seeing you like this..”

“We’re gonna make her cum harder than she’s ever cum before...” Ten’s hair sticks to his forehead, his mouth falling open as he gets closer.

“Choke her for me.” Ten demands as he watches your swollen lips. He wished they were wrapped around his cock, but being inside you and feeling your silky entrance tighten around him was enough for now.

Lucas wraps a hand around your throat, squeezing it gently. “Harder.” Ten demands.

You moan as he tightens it, your pussy quivering in response. You arch your back.

Ten chuckles, he grips your knees then leans down and kisses you while sliding in and out of you still. 

“Ah!  Ten!” You can feel yourself clench every time he enters your quivering body.

You’re lightheaded as he rubs circles into you, making you a trembling mess.He bites your bottom lip as he lets go, his movement stuttering. He moves his fingers onto your bud faster.

Lucas grips your throat tightly as he is about to cum as well.

“Cum for me.” Ten’s husky voice enters your ear before he leans down to Lucas. He sucks his neck hard as Lucas cums into your hand, gripping your neck even harder as he climaxes.

You cant breathe, you clench uncontrollably and moan, releasing onto Ten’s dick as he presses against your bud one final time. “Ahh..good girl.” Ten’s husky voice enters your ears.

Ten then releases into you, your convulsing pussy gripping his length into a tight hug as you orgasm. He moves sloppily, thrusting into your still body to push all of his cum deep into you.

Your breasts moving up and down as you try to collect yourself.

Ten pulls out and looks down onto your weak body. Your legs are still open and he can see his cum leak out of you and onto your thigh.

He isn’t pleased with this so he takes his fingers and swirls it around your opening, collecting the juices and pushing it back into you. He was jealous of the way Lucas came inside you, and for Ten this meant that he wanted you to be filled by him, he wants to know that he’s still inside you.

You struggle to get away from his fingers. “Ten..oh my God.” You cry out at the overstimulation.

“I’m gonna make you feel good again.”

“Lucas—“ You whimper.

Lucas distracts you from the overwhelming feeling by tilting your head towards his. He kisses you while Ten’s fingers keep you open.

Ten’s fingers easily glide inside but you’re so sensitive, tears start to fall from your eyes.

There is not more strength left in your body let alone your widespread legs.

“Lucas..you have to feel our sweet girl.” Ten takes Lucas’ hand, placing two fingers over his then pushes all four into your throbbing hole.

They stretch you out as they both pump in and out now, Lucas’ fingers are longer so they press onto your sensitive button repeatedly.

“Oh my-..” you bite your lips and watch as their fingers, coated in mixed essences, disappear into your body.

Lucas nibbles your ear in response.

Ten’s gaze is fixed on your body, so full of him, so beautiful and spread open...for him.

His eyes are low, but you can’t help but notice that it’s a wild gaze that makes you feel wanted, something you’d never seen from Ten before.

“Do you want to cum again, sweetheart?”

You nod.

Ten is weakened by your glossy, wide eyes and swollen lips. He’d give anything to see you like this again. He smirks and lowers himself to your chest and licks the hard nubs that stick out from your breasts.

“Does that feel good?” Ten bites the skin between your breasts.

“Ahh! Yes, Ten!” You cry out and grip the sheets, your head spinning as you start to see stars. Another high approaches. You start to rock your hips on your own to meet the movement of their fingers.

“Ten..touch me there.” You plead and it’s like music to Ten’s ears.

Ten takes his other hand and rubs your bud, watching as your jaw clenched and your head falls onto Lucas’ shoulder once more. All you needed was a simple movement from his fingers to proceed to lustful bliss.

Both Ten and Lucas moan when they feel you tighten around their fingers.

They withdraw their fingers and switch positions quickly, their cocks now hard again after hearing your beautiful sounds and feeling you.

Ten holds you from behind, your vision becomes blurry but you can hear him chuckle.

“Do you wanna play with her Lucas? She’s so wet and ready for you.” Ten says before putting his fingers into your mouth. You lick everything up while moaning.

Lucas smiles and licks his lips as he watches your mouth open wide for Ten’s fingers.

Lucas places both hands on your knees and presses down, he enters you in one swift movement. Your mouth falls open into a loud cry as you are stretched outagain after not recovering completely from your last climax.

“Lucas! Fuck.”

He can’t help but move fast, gliding in and out of your slippery, tight pussy because he is already close to cumming. He pushes into you so deep, your body moves up on the bed. Ten holds onto your waist so you say still.

You pull Lucas down towards you, leaving scratch marks all over his back as he ruins your insides. You wrap your legs around his waist, latching onto him like a koala.

Ten slides out from under you, kneeling beside you and tilting your head towards him by placing a finger on your jaw.

“He’s hard again because of you, sweetheart.” Lucas whispers into your neck, his long lashes grazing your jawline.

Ten strokes his cock in front of you. Your mouth opens and you let your tongue run along the underside.

“Good girl.” Ten groans and pushes forward into your mouth. You whimper as he hits the back of your throat unexpectedly, but then you immediately hollow your cheeks and groan, sending spastic vibrations onto Ten’s cock.

Ten’s head falls back, he closes his eyes and thinks about how good your plump lips feel around his aching member. His hips move steadily as he groans.

With each rough thrust Lucas gives you, you hum a high pitched tone that makes them both go crazy. 

Sweat forms on Lucas’ forehead as he looks up at your cheeks full with Ten. Lucas’ movement stutters and he releases into you once again, collapsing onto your body as he slows down.

Lucas starts to finger you so you can cum also while sucking Ten off. Ten smooths your hair back while smirking, watching as a continuous flow of tears escape your eyes, you’re so sensitive but you just won’t say the safe word because they feel..amazing.

Ten moves a few more times before releasing into your throat. You choke and gag as he pulls out, watching a string of spit and cum drop onto your chin.

Ten pinches your nipples as he recovers from climaxing while Lucas still moves his fingers in and out. Lucas kisses your jaw and down to your neck, his fingers tickling your tender sweet spot. But you just can’t take anymore, your body is weak, your head spins and soon everything turns to black.

Lucas immediately withdraws his fingers when he sees that you’ve blacked out, your body silent and falling completely limp as your arms relax to the side.

Ten also stops playing with your breasts, he only looks onto your naked body and thinks to himself, what a beautiful sight you are. Your body is wet, sweaty and full of their cum. Your hair is messy and lips swollen.

Lucas lays down beside you and loosens your corset completely, tossing it to the side and allowing you to sleep comfortably.

Ten goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet cloth, he cleans you up then hands another cloth to Lucas.

The three of you then lay together in bed, with you in between them. The boys fell asleep shortly after since they too were tired, but not without sparing each other quick glances first. They were both unsure of what would happen next in their friendship, but they both knew that above all, they wanted you.

In the middle of the night, Lucas wakes up and heads to the bathroom to get a glass of water. He brings it back to the bed and taps you gently.

“y/n..” he whispers as to not wake Ten who lays beside you on the other side of the king sized bed.

Your heavy eyes open slowly and you struggle to make out Lucas’ face in the darkness.

“Here..have some water.” He helps you sit up straight as you look around questioningly. You look around you and see a sleeping Ten then it all comes back to you, you remember what happened a few hours before.

You take the glass from Lucas and drink the water to soothe your throat which is as dry as the desert.

Lucas smiles when he takes the empty glass away. He lays down beside you and takes you into his arms, you wrap your arms around him and close your eyes before falling back asleep.

————

[Three Days Later]

“We should talk about that night..” Lucas looks out into the water as he speaks to you and Ten. The three of you are at your favorite hangout spot, the cherry blossom tree by the water.

It’s been a few days since the amazing orgy the three of you had, and while things hadn’t necessarily been awkward since then, things weren’t exactly back to normal either.

“There isn’t much to say.” Ten is quick to shoot down Lucas’ proposal. He looks at his fingernails and purses his lips.

“I agree with Ten, let’s just...move on. We were all drunk and-we had fun. We’re still best friends, let’s just make sure that it doesn’t happen again.” You look up at Lucas, hoping that he will nod and not question their relationship any more.

Ten scoffs, tilting his head towards you and lifting his lips into a smirk. “Was it that bad? I remember you crying out both our names like your life depended-“

“Ten! Stop! It was amazing, but I-I can’t see myself in a relationship like that or to be quite frank, I can’t see myself with either of you..”

Ten’s face straightens and Lucas turns to you completely, his brows furrowing.

Your eyes move rapidly to and from both curious faces.

“You guys are my best friends, you always will be..a relationship would only ruin what we already have.” You look up to them with pleading eyes.

Lucas swallows hard and turns away. “If that’s what you want, y/n.”

Ten nods, his playful smirk returning. “Okay, understood.” He takes a deep breath before continuing. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow at 1 then? Lucas will you be joining us for lunch?”

“I can’t, I already have an engagement for that time, but I will see you the next day.” Lucas smiles and says goodbye to both you and Ten.

You watch as the tall, built man leaps onto his horse. His strong arms and veiny hands gripping the straps of the holster before calling out to his steed. And you suddenly started to regret the statements you spoke so strongly just moments ago.

If only you could control your lust for him..for them.

————

Ten leads you into his house for lunch. He’s dressed casually, but still looks incredibly handsome, his dark hair is pushed back and his lips are a pretty blush color.

“How are you today, sweetheart?” Ten leans towards you.

Sweetheart.. it was a name you hadn’t heard him call you since the other night.

You ignore your thought and smile. “I’m doing well..excited to finally eat some food!”

Ten laughs, he adores your excited expressions, the way your eyes grow at the sight of food that you love and the way you dance and grin from ear to ear.

He’s happy his parents and Lucas are away so it’ll just be the two of you.

But when you step into the dining room, you’re shocked to see his dining table is empty.

This was unusual for Ten as he always had food out and ready for his guests once they were over.

Ten can’t see your knitted brows as he stands behind you. “The food won’t be out for another thirty minutes or so..what do you suggest we do?” His voice is low as he steps forward, he presses his chest onto your back before placing his hands onto your waist.

You turn around to him swiftly and gaze into his eyes.

“W-what are you doing?” Your questions comes out weakly as Ten’s intense gaze towards your lips takes your breath away.

He leans down and kisses you, but you pull away.

“Ten-“ Your expression of confusion doesn’t faze him, he only grips your waist tighter.

“I can’t stop thinking about you..”

“We..can’t do this.” You shake your head.

“Yes we can, we’re royals, you and I..we can do whatever we want. Have you stopped thinking about me? You couldn’t possibly forget my hands on your trembling thighs, my tongue reaching the sweetest places to make you scream?”

Your heart begins to race as you feel your underwear become wet at his words, you close your legs tightly and swallow hard. Your mouth falls open, you struggle to find the right words to say for you truly don’t know what you want in this moment.

Ten kisses you abruptly again, this time, exploring your mouth with his eager tongue as he pulls your body closer to his.

You let your eyes close and embrace the kiss. You couldn’t fight the feeling any longer. You had to give in..just this once.

Ten presses forward towards the table before laying you down onto it. Your lips separate from each other’s to breathe. Ten quickly drags your panties down before kneeling down. He leaves your dress on and gives you a mischievous smile.

You bite your lips as you watch him lift the dress and go under it, your knees bending as his hands hold your legs at the crook.

He starts first by kissing your thighs and licking them ever so slowly.

“Ten..” You call out his name as you grip the table cloth.

He then flicks his tongue onto your folds, making you yelp. Ten laps up your essence, his tongue moving slowly up and down and in circles, teasing your entrance while you let out cute mewls. You try to hold back your moans so the servants won’t hear. Your head falls against the cold table as you bite your lips.

His tongue plunged into your core, the tip pressing onto a sensitive spot near your bud teasingly. He takes his time covering all areas before kissing your slit, and letting out a throaty groan. He lets his tongue work wonders on your core, flattening against your flower as his nose brushes against your clit.

“Ahhh..you taste lovely, sweetheart.”He says before strengthening his tongue and pushing in even deeper.

You start to clench around him, your back arches. You want to grab his hair as you grind your hips against his face, but Ten pulls away, leaving you clenching around nothing but air.

He withdraws from under your dress and breathes heavily, licking his lips as he looks onto your hard nipples peeking out from under the thin cloth that covers them.

He pulls the fabric down, allowing one breast to escape. He takes the nipple into his mouth, sucking hard as you arch yourself into him even more. You can feel his hard cock brush against your thigh.

“Ten—“ you breathlessly utter out. “Please.”

Ten only hums as he still sucks onto your breast.

He lets go after a few seconds then kisses your lips while taking his pants down.

You wrap your legs around his waist, your dress riding up to your hips as a result.

He goes back to sucking your breast as he pushes into you carefully. You gasp and your head falls back, the veins of his cock providing the perfect stimulation to your core and he gets deeper.

You press your hands onto his butt, pushing him deeper into you with each thrust.

Your moans grow louder as does his. You both no longer care about who could hear, you only cared for satisfying that itch deep within you that was aching.

Ten looks up at you through low eyes, watching as your body tenses and your breast jumps with each push. He once again thinks to himself of how he adores every part of you. He wants to be enraptured by you all the time.

And seeing you like this in the day time, your sweaty skin sparkling and your hair shiny as the rays of sunlight that escaped the curtains fall onto you. You smell like the flowers that bloomed right outside and you taste like the best freshly baked cake.

His hips snap into yours, a strand of hair falling into his forehead, making him even more beautiful than he was before. You both hear the clinking and shaking of the glassware on the table as he fucks hard into your body on the table, but you ignore it, instead listening to each other’s staggered breaths.

“Ten..Ah! That’s it...right there.”

Your sounds are unlike anything he’s heard before. And after listening to your beautiful mewls, his movement stutters as he releases into you, coating your walls with his slick.

You cum as well, clenching around him after he hits your sweet spot with the perfect amount of force.

The two of you kiss through it all, sharing a moment of complete and ignorant bliss. You’re not worried about the past nor the future or even Lucas. You only care for the now.

Ten finally pulls away and falls onto the chair behind him. Your legs relax as you fix your dress and sit up straight.

Ten licks his lips and smirks. “Bring the food in!” He yells to his servants whom he knows are just in the room next door.

“Wait-you knew they were there?” Your eyes widened, but Ten only chuckles as he fixes his pants then helps you off the table.

“We’re royals, love. We can do whatever we want.”

Your lunch continues normally, you try not to think too much about what happened, but it is noticeably quiet at the table.

There’s a heavy energy around the two of you. One that’s filled with questions.

“I could get used to this..” Ten takes a sip of his drink but looks at you over the glass.

“What?” You ask.

“You and I..just the two of us..like this.”

You laugh and take a bite of your food. “You’re funny..you and I both know we need Lucas. Have you forgotten how much we fight when he’s not around? How close we’ve been to tearing each other apart?”

Ten laughed. “You do have a point.”

There’s a moment of silence before Ten asks his next question.

“But it’s not entirely impossible, right?”

You both knew where Ten was going with this. Within a year or two, Ten would have to pick a woman to be married to. It was customary for this to occur soon after graduation as both parties must begin to fulfill their duties together for a better society. In a few months, there would be a pairing ceremony for young graduates to meet others that could become a potential lifelong partner.

Ten was the highest ranking bachelor in your country. And fortunately, he was gorgeous, unlike anyone that walked the land. Any and every woman would kill to be at his side, but he just wanted you, the one woman that didn’t seem so eager to be by his side and attain his riches.

“I don’t know Ten, I think I like what we have already..” you sigh, you knew you needed way more time to think about marriage. “The three of us are perfect as friends. I..don’t want to lose either of you.” 

You spoke honestly, but Ten wasn’t satisfied. You always found a way to bring up Lucas and he didn’t like that. He loved Lucas deeply too, but he was willing to give him up if it meant gaining you to himself.

“Ten?”

He didn’t realize that he had held his utensil so tightly, his knuckles paled.

You reached out and placed your hand over his. 

“Oh.” He finally relaxed and smiled. “I’m sorry—I was lost in thought for a moment. Yes..whatever you wish.” He nodded and finished his food.

————

Ten’s parents returned the next day, so you didn’t expect to see him as often.

Lucas, however, paid you a visit that day.

“Shall we go to the market?” Lucas’ smile beamed when you opened the door.

You grinned and headed out with him. He helped you into his carriage before signaling for the driver to take off.

The two of you walked about the market, purchasing fruits and vegetables that you loved while talking and laughing. Many people were there, some played music on stringed instruments while some painted in the street and others observed.The smell of sizzling street food filled the air.

The two of you shared memories of school. “Remember when Ten lied to the teacher and said that you stole his notebook?”

“Yes! I slapped him so hard once we got to the tree, I’m surprised he didn’t scar.” You laughed.

Lucas bent over, clutching his stomach as he laughed. “His face was priceless, he didn’t see it coming. You would’ve kicked him too if I didn’t pull you away.”

“He was and still is such a mischievous boy.” You giggled and let Lucas take your hand as you headed back to the carriage.

You gazed into the side of Lucas’ face as you endured the bumpy ride from the market. A part of you felt like telling him about you and Ten, but a part of you also knew that you would hurt Lucas. And what good would it do to tell him the truth? It would ease your conscience but it could also ruin your friendship as you were the one to tell them that you would only continue as friends.

You went back on your own statement and now you were disappointed with yourself. You had a growing fondness for both men, but especially Lucas, and this would only end up hurting you all.

Lucas was warm and bright, his smile lit up every room he went into and he was always there to make sure that you were comfortable and happy. You fell in love with him from the first time you saw him. You felt love towards Ten too, but it wasn’t as strong as what you felt for Lucas for some reason.

“Are you trying to find something?” Lucas turned to you with raised eyebrows.

You didn’t notice that you had been staring for too long.

You laughed and looked forward. “I’m sorry I was just..”

“Just what?” Lucas pressed and looked onto your lips.He too couldn’t stop thinking about that night and how good you felt. How satisfied he was once he was finally making love to you after all these years.

“To be honest, Lucas, I was thinking about us..”

“Me, you, and Ten? We’re the greatest of friends to ever grace this land.” Lucas teased, he knew what you meant.

“No..no” you laughed and shook your head. “Me and you.”

“What about ‘me and you?’” He knows what you’re thinking but he wants to hear you say it.

“I-I’m not sure if I want us to..only be friends.” You instantly regretted telling Lucas how you felt. Sure, you felt this way, but what if he didn’t?

“Lucas..wait, I’m sorry, forget I said anyth-“

Lucas leaned forward and took your head in his hands, he placed his lips onto yours for a kiss.

You kissed him back and scooted closer to him. The kiss felt like it moved in slow motion, with each touch of your lips you felt a spark of electricity through your body. You felt your legs become weak as your tongues embraced one another playfully.

It was until a few moments later that you pulled away to breathe.

“We’re here.” You stared at Lucas’ lips as you bit your own.

Lucas quickly gets out of the carriage and opens your door to help you out.

The two of you walk to your door in an awkward silence.

Lucas brushes a hand through his hair and smiles. “I can’t forget..I can’t forget anything you say or do.”

He chuckles as he turns to leave. “What have you done to me? Are you some kind of sorceress?”

You smile. “Please..don’t leave.” You step forward.

Lucas’ lips crash onto yours once more. You stumble into your house and up the stairs. The climb is endless as your staircase is incredibly large.

“My parents... aren’t home.” You say between kisses, you can feel yourself leak in your underwear as Lucas’ large hands hold your waist. You begin to tear off your dress while Lucas shakes off his jacket.

“Perfect.” He holds your hand and stops you from going up any more stairs.

He turns you around and kneels down, taking you with him.

Your back is against his heaving chest, your head is turned towards his as you continue to kiss passionately.

Lucas drags down your dress then pulls his pants down, allowing his cock to spring free.

Your knees meet with the cold stairs during which Lucas pushes your panties to the side. He holds himself up with one hand while the other goes between your legs.

You watch his arms flex and feel like cumming just from the sight.He presses two fingers into your slit, sweeping your juices across the opening while listening to you moan loudly.

Just feeling his touch is enough to make you dizzy. His large body covers yours completely like a singular dark cloud over a small town, except he is light, he is warmth. He makes you feel safe and desired. All you want is to be filled by him, to be loved by him.

His long fingers stretch you out as you lay onto the rigid stairs. Lucas kisses your neck with his plump lips, your body flinching each time his knuckles brush against your clit.

“How do you feel? Are you ready?” He whispers softly before nibbling on your ear.

“Yes, Lucas.”

Lucas takes his fingers away and strokes his member, he taps the tip against your slit before parting your fold slowly and pushing in.

You grip the edge of the stair above you tightly and close your eyes, focusing on adjusting to his length.

He finally fills you completely and begins to move in and out while watching your mouth fall open.

Lucas feels amazing inside you, your velvety walls swallow him up like he’s the perfect fit made just for you.

He places his hand onto the lower part of your stomach, feeling his tip as he pushes into you.

“Fuck.” He curses when you clench.

He moves faster. You start to make that high pitched moan again. Lucas takes your leg and throws it over his shoulder, your body turns to the side so you can now see his face.

He holds onto your ankle tighter. Sweat gracing his forehead as his hair falls into his face.His groans combined with sounds of skin against skin fills the air.

Lucas watches his dick go deeper and deeper into your quivering hole. He takes his fingers and rubs circles into your bud.

“Lucas!” Your back begins to hurt as the edge of the stair digs into it but you can only focus on Lucas pounding into you and dominating your entire body.

“Cum for me.” He demands.

You cum onto him, your pussy pulsating around him as he thrusts into your body a few more times.

He pulls out before releasing strings of cum onto your stomach and thigh.

He pants and lets go of your leg. You lay back onto the stairs to collect yourself. Just then, Lucas takes your hand and intertwines his fingers with yours. He leans down and kisses you.

“I think I love you,” Lucas lets out.

You give a small smile. “I love you too, Lucas..but, this feels..wrong.”

“What do you mean?” His brows furrow and he lifts himself from you.

He doesn’t know that you’ve already done this with Ten, he’s not the only one. You can’t commit to him if you’ve already been unfaithful..or could you?

“We can’t..do this..I love you and I love Ten. I-“You shake your head, you’re so confused, you don’t know what to say.

“I understand.” Lucas stands up and fixes his pants.

“Lucas..wait.” You reach out for his hand but he hands you your dress instead.

“I’ll see you soon.” He states before heading out, never turning to see your teary face.

And so you thought that was the end of it, but it was far from over.

You and Lucas would go on to engage in sex for the coming months, sneaking off into hallways or into empty rooms and even the bath. You couldn’t get enough of each other. But you never told Ten, you knew he would be furious.

No one knows about you and Lucas, not your parents, and certainly not Ten. Ten had been distancing himself for some time, and neither you nor Lucas were sure why. He would rarely make time for you since that time you two had “lunch.” Did he know about you and Lucas? Did he take your answer as a no?

As far as you knew, you were secretly dating Lucas but Ten thought the three of you were still in a simple friendship. It felt wrong, but it felt right.

———

[AUGUST 1984]

You’re woken up by a hard pounding on your bedroom door.

“Yes?” You yell out.

“y/n..it’s Ten..he’s here with bad news.” Your mother states softly.

You quickly threw on a dress and headed down the stairs with your mother.

You see Ten at the door, his eyes are red, like he’s been crying for a long time.

You felt your body begin to shake. Did he find out? Did Lucas break down and tell him? You couldn’t bear to see him like this, especially if you were the reason behind his sadness.

“Ten? What’s wrong?”

“It’s my father..he’s...passed away.”

“Oh Ten..” you immediately open your arms up and hug him. “I’m so sorry.”

He holds you close for a while as you both cry.

————

[OCTOBER 1894]

You never left Ten’s side, you cried with him, made sure he ate, and even slept with him. It would start off with a kiss then lead to something else. You enjoyed the sex but you also just wanted him to feel better.

Lucas would stop by Ten’s place every now and then, but would leave after only an hour or so. You didn’t expect him to be like this especially since he was also Ten’s best friend.

The truth was that after the first two weeks, Lucas didn’t see why you had to be by Ten all the time, every hour of the day. But worst of all, he speculated that you had been sleeping with Ten as well. He had no proof but one night he stayed nearby, waiting to see if you would leave Ten to go to your home.

But you never left.

The next day, he pulled you outside to talk to you. You rubbed your neck and looked to the ground. “What’s wrong, Lucas?”

“y/n..it’s been two months, isn’t this a bit much?” He was angry, his jaw clenched and eyes narrow as they bore into yours.

“Lucas..he lost his father. You know how much he meant to him, how can you even say that?”

Lucas looked away and grit his teeth.

“Who are we to say how long one’s grieving period is?” You scoffed and looked to the side, exposing the hickeys on your neck in the process. “He was staying away from us because he knew that his father was dying, Lucas. He spent his time watching his strong father wither away to nothing, it was and still is difficult for him.”

Lucas looked back at you and spotted the marks, confirming his suspicions.

“y/n..is that bastard forcing you to have sex with him?” Lucas brows furrowed, his fists closed tightly.

“W-what?” You make a look of disgust that made Lucas realize how ridiculous his statement may have sounded.

“The love bites on your neck..did a ghost do that?”

“Lucas..don’t..” you scoff and shake your head.

Lucas looks away, licking his lips while he tries to stay calm.“You think fucking him will make him happier? You think that’ll stop him from thinking of his dead father?!”

“Lucas!” You slap him.

“He’s using you! He just wants to be close with you!” Lucas yells now, you were afraid that Ten would’ve heard him upstairs.

“What’s the matter?” A calm voice startles you from behind. You turned around, it was Ten’s mother.

She looks at you then to Lucas, her facing turning dark and grim. She looks repulsed by the sight of Lucas. She probably heard what he said about her son.

“Nothing..Lucas was just leaving.” You turn to him and shake your head.

He huffs, but turns away swiftly.

“That fool.” The queen scoffed when she realized that he didn’t bow nor bother to acknowledge her presence, a grave mistake on his part.

But you walked up to Ten’s room, holding back tears. How could Lucas be this way? He was trying to tell you that Ten was using you, but that couldn’t be true. You were his friend, you were doing what you could to ease the pain of his loss.

Lucas’ words ran through your mind even as you rode Ten that night. The swivel of your hips, the bouncing of your naked breasts, the glow of your body in the dim light of his room, it all made him weak for you. He bit his lips to hold back a loud groan. But as he got closer, he couldn’t help but notice that you were distracted.

“What’s wrong, my love?” Ten asked, his hands running up and down your thighs as he brows furrow.

“Nothing..it's nothing..I’m just a bit tired.” You place your hands onto his chest and focus on the building pleasure in your core.

Ten raises his eyebrows and shifts on the bed, stopping you by taking your wrists into his hand

“I’ll take over then.” He flips you over quickly, immediately pushing deeper into you.

A breath leaves your chest as your mouth falls open. Ten moves faster while rubbing your clit. “How do you feel now? Any better?”

“Oh, God..yes, Ten.” Your eyes shut tightly.

Based on your moans and clenched jaw, he knows he has successfully gained your complete attention and he couldn’t be more satisfied. Feeling you fall into him night by night was all that mattered. He wanted to be close to you, feel you..to love and be loved by you.

“Thank you..for everything.” Ten whispered softly into your ear, sliding his cock out of you and laying down beside you as you came down from your climax. The two of you cuddled and fell asleep shortly after.

He didn’t say anything about the conversation you and Lucas had downstairs so you assumed he hadn’t heard.

But the truth was..he watched and listened to everything. He heard what Lucas accused him of doing, and now he saw his true colors. 

———

[Two Weeks Later] 

Letters detailing a new order from the widowed queen have been issued to all sub royals in the land. The king and the queen, Ten’s parents, are the highest royals and their orders can never be overturned or challenged. Anything they say, must go because of their family name.

Their letters usually listed new laws that dealt with taxes and such, but every now and then, they detailed a new marriage to be set for a bachelor and bachelorette so that they may merge their houses and operate as one.

“y/n..we’ve received a letter from the Queen, have you heard about this?” Your mother entered your room as you got ready to go to Ten’s house.

“No..what does it say?” You took the letter from her as she gulped.

Your brows knitted at her expression. You looked at the piece of paper and read it out loud.

“‘Dear citizens, it is imperative that a marriage be conducted within the arrival of the next month. The graduation of our finest gentlemen and ladies has allowed them to move forward to becoming profound and hardworking adult citizens of this land. However, we must combine two powerful houses for maximum impact and success. Prince Lucas of the Wong family and Princess Rosé of the Park family will be the first couple to be wed. Once the wedding ceremony is complete, the newlyweds will live in the Park family estate to fulfill their duties for their own precious citizens. Congratulations, and I look forward to a grand celebration for the unification of these two houses.’”

The paper falls to the floor as your hand grows weak. “No..no no..this can’t..this can’t happen.” Your eyes start to water. Lucas, the one you loved so dearly, was now set to be married to another. How could Ten’s mother make such an abrupt order without a consultation with Lucas first?

“Honey..I know you liked him, but it was bound to happen..” Your mother places her hands on your shoulders.

“No..no this isn’t right. The pairing ceremony was postponed indefinitely..We-were supposed to meet eligible mates in a few months..How-Why would she do this?”

“It’s not our duty to question the Queen, y/n. I’m sorry, but there is nothing we can do.”

“No, there has to be something. I have to- I have to talk to Ten.” You jump up and run to your chariot without fixing your hair.

On the way there, you couldn’t calm your thoughts. You wanted to be with Lucas, you loved him. And now he would have to marry someone else and live far away.

Tears ran down your cheeks as you sobbed uncontrollably. The only way that you would be able to see Lucas is to take a train to him.

Flashes of his bright smile stained your thoughts, you only saw him as you panted.

You finally reached Ten’s place. You banged on the door and waited for the doorman to open it. Once inside, you immediately ran up to Ten’s room. But he wasn’t there.

“Ten!” You called out.

You spun around, and was shocked to find him standing there with a small smile on his face.

“What’s wrong, darling?”

“Ten! Your mother..the-the Queen, She’s sending Lucas away, she can’t do that, please don’t let her do that to us.” You choked out as more tears escaped.

Ten wasn’t sure what you meant by ‘us.’ Did you mean the three of you? Or you and Lucas.

Ten nodded and hugged you tightly. “Shhh it’s gonna be okay..I tried already y/n..I tried, but she won’t listen to me. She knows that he’s my best friend and what sending him so far away would do to me..but I couldn’t stop her.”

“Oh God, Ten.. I’m so sad.”

“I know..I am too.” Ten states. A devilish smile covering his face as you cry onto his shoulder.

———

[NOVEMBER 1894]

It’s the day after Lucas and Rosé’s wedding that you and Lucas escape to the tree for one last moment together.

You make love one final time. His back resting against the tree trunk as you kneel over his lap, your body shaking as it approaches its climax. The sun is beaming, the breeze is light and the shade under the blooming tree allows for a perfect balance of heat and coldness.

Lucas grips your thighs as you ride him, pushing up the fabric of your dress slowly. He kisses your neck while you cry.

The two of you spoke about the morning shortly before. You apologized for slapping him and he apologized for being self-centered.

“I love you..” he whispers onto your chest before pulling down the top of it for your breast to fall out.

He lets his tongue out, circling around the firm nipple. “I love you..too,” you let out through ragged breaths.

“Oh..Lucas!” You cry out and release onto him, he bucks his hips upward and into you as you tighten.

He then lifts you off of him and cums onto your thigh.

You sit beside him and rest your head onto his shoulder as you look out at the lake, taking in your final intimate moments with him.

“Please..don’t forget that I love you. I’m not far away.. and Ten..he’ll take care of you for me.”

Lucas runs his fingers along your arm while holding you close. He doubted Ten’s intentions, he had a feeling that it was he who told his mother to conjure up such an abrupt order, but he had no proof. And could his best friend really do that to him?

He could only hope that you would be safe and happy without him there.

It wasn’t customary or even “okay” for a woman to visit a man that had recently been married, but Lucas wanted to be with you..he had to be with you, and he was determined to find a way.

You send Lucas off and take different carriages. You cried but you’re also hopeful that you will see him again.

Later that evening, you have dinner with Ten. Your mind is empty, you don’t speak at all and Ten knows that it’s because you’re thinking of Lucas.

“y/n...you’ll see him again, I promise.. We will visit them as soon as they get settled.” He reaches out and places a hand on yours.

“I..just need time.” You say before taking a sip of your champagne.

“You’ve made me the happiest man, y/n..” Ten gives your hand a light squeeze. “And..the Queen must overturn her power to me, the upcoming King, for she is not fit to rule. But she can’t do that until I am married.”

“There are many Princesses competing for your hand, Ten. I see them practically tear each other’s heads apart once you’re mentioned.”

“I know, but there’s only one that I want.” Ten smiles and it makes your heart race. All you could think about was Lucas but you couldn’t deny the fact that a part of you loved Ten too, you didn’t want to hurt him.

“Ten..” You looked away.

“Marry me..I promise to make you as happy as you’ve made me for the rest of your life.”

“I-now’s not the time.” You pulled your hand away.

“Why not? I want you and you want me, right? Just say yes and all this could be yours, you can see Lucas whenever you want because you’d be the Queen.”

“Ten..I know..I know that, but I’m not sure-“

“What do you mean you’re not sure?” Ten stood up from his chair. “Who else is gonna love you like I do? Who else is gonna give you everything you ask for and more?”

“Ten..it’s not that..” you say back in your chair and stare at the table, your already meek  appetite fleeting even further.

“You’re not sure? That’s not what you said when I was fucking your brains out just last week!”

“Ten!” You jumped up from your chair. “If you think I’ll marry you when you talk about me like that in front of your servants, you’re crazy! The answer is no!”

You left his house hurriedly, heading to your carriage and signaling for the driver’s attention.

Ten ran after you. “y/n..I’m sorry, I was upset. Please just..listen to me.”

You shut the door before wiping the tears from your eyes. 

———

[DECEMBER 1984]

You hadn’t been back to Ten’s house since that night. You spent your time alone, caring for yourself and reading books about the land. You had to be prepared to be a good princess and leader. You had to know the laws.

Your mother would also help you when she had time.

“Did any mail come for me?” You ask every day at the same time, hoping for a letter from Lucas.

Your mother sighs. “No, dear”

She sits on the edge of the bed. “You know..if you want to talk to him..you should just visit. I hear the Park Family will be taking a tour of the villages tomorrow. Lucas won’t be present though as he must train more.”

“H-how did you know?”

“I know love when I see it, dear. From the way the two of you looked at each other during the wedding ceremony..I knew.”

You sighed. “Ten proposed to me..but I said..”

“No. I know you did, because deep down, you feel that your heart belongs to someone else. But my dear, the most difficult part of being a princess or queen, is emptying your heart of all love that it has just to make someone else happy, even if that someone else is not the one that owns your heart.”

You sighed. Your mother’s words were filled with the truth, and even though it hurt, you needed to hear it.

“Ten loves you, that much I know. Lucas loves you too, but that door has closed. And now, another one is open..you shouldn’t waste your precious time banging on the closed door.”

You nodded.

“With that being said..there’s a train that leaves the day after tomorrow. You should see Lucas one more time and say goodbye, for your sanity, you must cut all ties with him and let him go.” 

————

[Two Days Later] 

You gave the door a light knock and waited for an answer.

“Ahhh. Princess y/n..fancy seeing you here!” The doorman’s eyes widened. “It was quite a ride, wasn’t it?”

You smiled. “Hello. Yes, I’m very tired. But I’m thankful to be safe. Is Lucas here?”

He nodded. “Yes. I believe he is reading by that tree over there.”

You walked slowly towards Lucas, his long legs lay on the grass below the tremendous tree.

“Do you hang out by trees because you’re tall like one?” You asked as you got closer.

Lucas laughed out and put his book down, he turned towards you and smiled so brightly you thought he would outshine the sun itself.

“y/n!” He jumped up and ran towards you, his large arms pulling you into his bear hug.

“I’m so happy to see you.. how have you been?” Lucas searches your eyes.

“I’ve been..okay.” You weren’t doing great without him.

“Me too..” Lucas leans down to your face. He wants to kiss you deeply, without end. But he knows the workers around have wandering eyes, he knows they will tell not only Rosé, but her parents as well.

“What’s going on Lucas, why are you here and not closer to your own hometown?”

“Come..sit, we need to talk.” Lucas sits back down and pats the space on the ground beside him.

His expression turns serious as he turns to you.

“I..am stuck in this marriage, y/n. I know you want us to be together, but we can’t. If I leave Rosé, I will be forced to live as a beggar.” Lucas swallows hard.

Your brows are knitted but you then laugh out. “You can’t be serious.. you’re royalty! Leaving her would never turn you into a beggar!”

Lucas shakes his head. “That’s not it, y/n.”

You look to the ground, puzzled as to what he meant.

“I was told that my father, King Wong, was killed in battle when I was 8 years old. The King, Ten’s father, retrieved me and decided to raise me in his kingdom as a gift to my deceased father. The king thought it would be best for me to join him and receive a great education and train to become a royal commanding officer for his kingdom. My mother, however, had to stay while I was taken care of by a caretaker.”

“Your mother is still alive?” You looked up at him and gasped, shocked that he had lied to you.

“Yes.. I’m sorry I lied to you for all this time, but I had to, that is what the King told me to do to ensure my mother's safety. He told me to tell everyone that both of my parents died and that the Wong estate is thousands of miles away when in reality, it doesn’t even exist. He said that if I told everyone this he would take care of me and my mother, so I did.”

“Why—why would he do that?” You shook your head.

“Well, y/n..my mother wrote me a letter once I got here. She received news of my marriage and was disappointed that she could not attend the ceremony, but she sent me this letter through a private courier so that I could now know the truth.”

Lucas flipped through the book and opened the page to the spot where he hid the letter. He handed it to you.

“My mother is a commoner that was loved by the king himself. The king would travel to fulfill his duties while the queen stayed home and raised Ten. And during his travels, he met my mother and fell in love. She became pregnant with me. My real father..is the king.”

Your eyes widened as you looked at the note you held.

“You and Ten are—half brothers?”

“Shhh..no one can know, okay?”

You nodded quickly.

“The king sent my mother money every month with a courier to ensure that we would be well off and keep our mouths shut. We couldn’t tell anyone and even if we did, no one would believe us anyway so my mother agreed. When the king retrieved me, he already knew that he had an incurable illness, that’s why he felt it best for me to live with him. He knew that I could take care of my mother if I received royal status before he passed away. My mother married someone else and has another son, YangYang, that she takes care of. But y/n...”

“Y-yes..” you lean forward on both knees.

“The queen sent me away because she feared that my mother would come forward with the truth, thus keeping Ten from becoming King. And now that the King has died, the Queen has also stopped the courier and my mother no longer receives monthly allowances, she’s poor y/n. I cannot help her or my brother, for Rosé will notice and question everything.”

“I will help you, I will do everything I can Lucas.”

“No-no this isn’t your problem. I have to find a way to appease the Queen.”

“Lucas, you know how stubborn she is. She won’t help you.” It all made sense now, why the Queen despised Lucas. She knows that he’s a product of her husband's infidelity.

“I’ll get you the money..you just have to give me time, okay?” You weren’t sure how you were going to do that, but you had an idea. You love Lucas and as bizarre as this all sounded, you trust him and know that you have to help.

—————

[Two Days Later]

You knock on Ten’s door, anxiously awaiting for his doorman to open the door.

But it’s Ten that answers. He looks tired, his eyes are red, but he still looks handsome in his suit and pushed back hair

“Ten..we need to talk.” You step forward.

“y/n..sweetheart..it’s about time.” He smiles from ear to ear, his breath reeking of alcohol.

You push your way inside and shut the door.

“It’s urgent, I need your help.”

“You need MY help?” Ten plops down in his study as you sit beside him on the loveseat.

“I went to see Lucas and-“

“Ahh..yes I know..I know you went to see him, but I’ll keep it a secret. You just couldn’t wait for Rosé to leave so you could fuck him. What happened to ‘let’s remain friends’?”

“Ten, you’re an asshole. He’s my best friend too. How dare you talk to me like I’m some slut or something!”

“I went to him because he sent for me, he asked for my help.” You lied, but you just wanted Ten to listen to you, because you really needed him. You had thought about using your own family money but you knew that your mother would find out the truth and tell the kingdom.

So Ten was your only option.

“Here..drink some water.” You poured him a glass of water from the sink in the corner of the room.

He gulped it down and watched your figure as you sat on the seat across from him now. He wished you would sit beside him again, he wished he could touch you.

“Lucas is your half brother, Ten.”

Ten gulps down the water, his eyes widen and his grip on the glass weakens.

“You’re messing with me, is this your revenge?” He places the glass on a coffee table.

“No..I’m not.” 

You go on to tell him everything Lucas tells you, explaining how his very own father impregnated a commoner when he was two and a half years old.

Ten was devastated by the news, becoming shocked and disgusted that he experienced such sexual intimacy with someone he was related to by blood.

“Now, his family needs monetary help.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Ten looks at his nails.

“Ten! How could you ask that? Lucas is your best friend too, you wouldn’t want his family to suffer just because your father lied and cheated and your mother is self-centered and jealous?”

Ten’s eyes flickered up to you, giving you a dark expression that made you swallow hard. “Be careful, darling”

“I’m sorry...I’m just worried.” You looked to the side and rocked forward and backward as a million thoughts ran through your mind.

“Well, it seems there is something that you want that I have, and there is something that I want that you have..what should we do?” Ten smirks.

You shake your head as you realize what he is implying. “I...”

“I’ll take care of his mother and brother, y/n..but only if you promise to marry me next month. What do you say?”

“Ten—“ You start but your mother's words danced in your head.

“Yes or no, sweetheart. Don’t waste my time.” He stands up and walks towards you. He takes your face in his hands and tilts it upward so you have to look up at him. “It would be so sad if Lucas loses yet another parent this year..”

You bit your lips.

Ten traces the side of your face with his thumb, sending chills down your spine.

“So..y/n?”

You look up at him through your lashes and nod. “I’ll do it, I’ll marry you.”

————

[JANUARY 1895]

The news of your marriage to King Ten spread like wildfire across the Kingdom of Hearts. Many townspeople were not surprised at this development for your family was one of the closest allies to the Lee family. Also, Ten never made it a secret how much he was drawn to you. It was only a matter of when and where you would get married. Your parents were thrilled at the match as your family’s status would be elevated even more in the kingdom. You were happy in the sense that your family would be provided for but you were even more thankful for Ten’s promise to provide for Lucas’ family.

The Queen, Ten’s mother, was less than thrilled at the match. It seems as though she was aware that you also had feelings for Lucas. She never discussed it with you but what else could explain her animosity towards you when you were Ten’s best friend for all of these years? Queen Lee swallowed her pride and, for the sake of her son, begrudgingly blessed the marriage.

You had an entire team of ladies’ maids at your beck and call preparing you for the ceremony. Your A-line white gown was made of the finest fabrics the continent had to offer. The train of the dress was laced with some diamonds and pearls. Your fitted bodice was also laced with jewels so that the shape of a butterfly ran down to your waist. The Lee family spared no expense to make this the wedding of the millennium. It was definitely one for the books. Your dress was just the tip of the iceberg.

Your mother was on the verge of tears as she helped you fit your cathedral-length veil. The veil ran all the way down to the train of your dress. You gulped, worried that you would trip and humiliate yourself in front of the entire palace.

“My dear daughter, I am so happy for you,” she said as she kissed your cheek and fixed a couple of loose strands of hair from your face.

Part of you was a bit resentful to hear these words from your mother. No one had ever bothered to ask if this was what you truly wanted. What made you change your mind so quickly when you were adamant of your refusal to marry Ten when he first asked. Why would they? It would be ludicrous for you not to marry the most powerful man on the planet. He was gorgeous and ethereal. He was your best friend. He was destined to be in your life forever. You wouldn’t be surprised if your bond remained in the after life, if it existed.

But you and Ten knew the truth. You came to an agreement: you wanted to protect Lucas and Ten wanted you.

Your ladies’ maids led you to the entrance of the cathedral where Ten and the most elite of the kingdom awaited your entrance. You stood in front of the grand double-doors. You were to walk alone down the imposing aisle to meet your fate.

The doors opened and all eyes were on you. A few people gasped. You were a sight to behold and everyone knew it.

And for a moment, you let yourself imagine that Lucas was waiting for you at the end of the aisle. Looking the most lethal he ever has in a tuxedo with his hair slicked back. His smile beaming bright and his eyes crinkling like they always did when he was with you.

Your heart ached, thinking of what could’ve been. It was a good thing Lucas and Princess Rosé couldn’t attend the wedding or else you weren’t sure you could make yourself walk down that aisle.

You looked down the aisle towards Ten whose smile was bigger than you’d ever seen it. He was radiant in this three-piece suit, looking so impeccable and dashing. He had never been so happy than he was at this moment. His biggest dream was finally coming true. You would be all his. His eyes never left you.

You moved gracefully as the string quartet played you in. You kept your eyes straight and concentrated on maintaining your posture. You felt the whispers and gasps as you passed. You could even feel the daggers your future mother-in-law’s eyes shot at you. You pushed it all out of your mind.  You couldn’t afford to fall.

You didn’t want to humiliate yourself. And your family wouldn’t be able to stomach it either. The last person you wanted to give that satisfaction to was Queen Lee. You hoped the marriage and your new title would force her to grant you some respect.

Once you reached the end of the aisle, Ten whispered in your ear. “You are the most stunning creature, my darling.”

You looked Ten dead in the eye, truly looking at him for the first time today. Your heart ached for how you were feeling. You loved Ten. It wasn’t like it would be a loveless marriage. He was your best friend. He was elegant and gorgeous. He would always be there for you. So even if Lucas lingered in your thoughts, you had to let him go and open your heart to Ten.

“Th-Thank you, Your Majesty. You look incredible,” you replied.

He chuckled at hearing you address him so formally. He always insisted you just call him Ten even after his coronation. You broke a deal when you told him you would address him informally behind closed doors. He accepted because he wanted to spend a lot of time with you behind closed doors.

“All eyes are on you, my sweet,” he moved closer to your ear. “You smell intoxicating. This ceremony better move quickly because my patience is wearing thin. And you know what happens when my patience runs thin.”

The minister opened his scripture and began. “Dearly beloved of the Kingdom of Hearts, we are gathered here today to join this king and this princess in holy matrimony.”

He continued. “Now we will begin the exchange of vows. Your Majesty, you may go first.”

Ten sighed dreamily as he looked at you. “Princess y/n, I’ve loved you for such a long time. When we first met, I thought you were spying on me outside of the schoolyard. I had no idea we would reach this moment years later.”

The crowd cooed and laughed at his tale. Your heart almost stopped at his lack of mentioning Lucas for he was a crucial part of the story. Did he have to write Lucas out of the narrative like that? You couldn’t let your frustration show on your face. This was a happy occasion, you reminded yourself for the umpteenth time.

“Sweetheart, you have been my confidante and my best friend in the world. You have given me so much joy and motivation to be the best man I can be and now the best leader I can be to this country. I’m honored to have you as my queen. I adore you. I will love you for all of my days and be loyal to you. Only. You.”

The minister said, “Thank you, Your Majesty. Your Highness, you may begin.”

You nodded, knowing you could not falter with your speech. You were thankful to Ten for his kind words. He truly loved you. You began. “Your Majesty, you have always felt like home to me. You and Lucas…”

You didn’t realize your slip of the tongue and to refer to Lucas so casually...That wasn’t good. Ten’s dazzling smile faltered for a moment but he didn’t let it slip completely.

You took a quick pause and continued. “You and our dearest friends have made my life so much more wonderful. I have never felt alone because of you. You have been my partner in crime and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else but you. I love you so much, darling. I will be devoted to you until my last breath.”

A tear escaped your eye. You were a mix of emotions. Joy at marrying your best friend and sadness over the absence of Lucas.

Ten reached over and wiped your tear away. “My darling y/n…”

“Thank you, Princess y/n,” the minister continued. “Your Majesty, do you take Princess y/n to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

Ten smiled fondly at you. “I do.”

“And do you, Your Highness, take King Ten to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?”

You forced yourself to give the brightest smile you could muster. “I do.”

“I now pronounce you King and Queen of Hearts. You may kiss the bride.”

The crowd rejoiced as Ten moved closer to you, held your face with both of his hands, and pulled you in for a tender kiss. As you leaned back, your veil almost fell over. You returned his kiss, recalling all of the euphoric moments you and Ten have spent together. You pushed Lucas to the back of your mind for both his and your sake. So Ten wouldn’t grow suspicious. You didn’t want to spoil this day. This moment. Ten was doing you a huge favor. And you needed to play your role to perfection: as a loving and devoted Queen to her King.

————

On the eve of your honeymoon, You and Ten arrive at his vacation home at the beach where you will spend a week with him. You were in a simpler yellow sundress that went down to your knees. The sight of your legs nearly sent Ten in a frenzy. He was in casual clothes as well, his shirt unbuttoned three buttons down. A flame ignited inside of you at the sight of him so relaxed.

Oh, dearest Ten, you loved him so much, you reminded yourself. And he loved you with a depth you could never fathom.

Ten sent the servants away for the evening so that you two could be alone at the estate. He carried you up the staircase and you giggled.

“You finally relaxed,” Ten said, his voice light and free.

“You better not drop me.” You laughed. “Or did you not train enough with the royal commanding army?”

Ten faked shock. “How dare you defy your king, Your Majesty?”

You could not believe your ears at what he just called you. It was a reminder of the choice you’ve made. That you could never go back on. You pushed that thought away. “I think your queen can take some liberties, can’t she?”

Ten reached the top of the staircase and ran into your chambers. It had the finest fabrics and pieces of furniture that were merely there for decoration. The ceilings ran high. The open windows brought in the ocean breeze and the crashing of the waves. You ran out to the balcony and looked out to the beach. The moon hung low in the sky, a bright yellow that matched your dress. You haven’t been to the beach in years because of school, etiquette classes, balls, and more. The last time you escaped to the beach was when you, Ten, and Lucas ran away from home and had your own little celebration after classes ended the year you three met.

Ten wrapped his arms around you from behind. “I get to spend the rest of my life with the most enchanting woman in the world.”

Your face heats up at his words. He was being incredibly gentle and caring.

“How will I restrain myself now?” He says quietly into your ear, making your legs weak.

Or so you thought.

“Ten-”

His fingers crept down to your heat as he kissed your neck. “I hope you’re ready, y/n, because I don’t intend to let you go.”

He spun you around and kissed you, causing your back to bend and lean against the balcony. If you and Ten weren’t careful, you both could fall over. You returned his kiss and pushed him back into the bedroom.

“What?” He laughed. “You thought I would let you fall? How little faith you have in me, wife.”

You embraced him and abruptly rubbed your hand against his bulge. He hissed as he pulled his pants down. His cock sprung up. You bent down to the floor.

Ten stopped you. “Get up, darling. You will kneel on the bed. A queen does not kneel on the floor. Especially not mine.”

He helped you up from the plush carpet and brought you onto the bed. He stood up on the bed, waiting for you to please him.

You decided to be playful. “You’re so considerate, dear. I should prepare you a plate of your favorite cake. I’ll be right back.” You made a show of walking out of the room.

“Hey!” Ten started.

You giggled. Standing right outside the door of the bedchamber, you counted to ten.

“y/n, get back here this instant!” Ten whined, sounding needier and needier each second that passed.

Once you reached the number ten, you ran back in and jumped on the bed, pouncing on Ten and crashing into the soft pillows. You held Ten’s face. “I’m sorry...Was that mean?”

He pouted like a petulant schoolboy. “You will pay.” Swiftly, he pulled your skirt up and reached inside of your undergarments. His fingers tip tapped against your entrance.

“You’re soaked, sweetheart,” he said as you stood still. Ten’s touch always sent you through the roof. When he removed his fingers from your apex, you whined.

“Don’t pout. You brought this on yourself,” he said as he moved on top of you and kissed you again. He squeezed your nipples that poked against your dress. You groaned at the pleasant sensation.

Your hands grabbed his cock and started working it. Drops of precum slipped down to your fingers. You worked harder as Ten grunted against your mouth.

“I don’t know about you, y/n but I’m wide awake,” Ten said as you both finished.

You laid your head against his broad chest and felt the steady beat of his heart. “Are you now?”

Ten laughed and you could feel the rumble coming from his chest. “Do you want something to eat?”

His sweetness didn’t stop at his tender loving, you thought. But then he interrupted your thoughts.

He said, “I need you to have the stamina for the night I have planned for you.”

You got up from his chest and saw a wicked smile on his face. Knowing Ten, he was capable of going at it with you all hours of the night and the evening had only just begun.

————

[FEBRUARY 1895]

Upon returning from your honeymoon, you and Ten returned well-rested and well-fucked. Ten began his duties as King, including tying up some loose ends that his father left to him to complete and draw up revisions for the laws of the kingdom. You were to attend to visiting the townspeople and participating in social events that would elevate the kingdom’s status in the continent. As promised, Ten was providing financial support to Lucas’ family. Lucas sent you a letter of gratitude to your family’s house. You didn’t have to analyze the letter without Ten getting suspicious. He was with you a lot of the time those first few weeks.

Ten’s mother still grieved for the loss of her husband and upon seeing you, she would be cold and condescending. Regardless of the crown on your head, you were still a social-climbing wannabe to her. She still didn’t approve and you simply swallowed it. You didn’t want to drive a wedge between Ten and his mother so you silently took it.

Ten was sweeter to you than he’d ever been. Now that Lucas was out of the picture, he didn’t feel any sort of threat that would take you away from him. He could relax. He could rule his kingdom, honor his father’s legacy, and begin a perfect life with you.

For the first weeks, you and Ten made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms. You laughed and bickered like an old married couple at some points. Ten let his guard down with you, letting you know of his worries over the kingdom and whether or not he was doing a good job in his father’s stead. You gave him affirmation that he was bringing even more honor to his family and to his people.

As Ten got busier and busier with his duties, you began to see him less, which allowed you time to think of Lucas. Your heart ached. Now you both were married and your chances of ever being together have vanished. Tears fell down to the skirt of your dress.

You decided to visit your family one day. Your mother prepared your favorite tomato soup. It was a family recipe. Your mother always made it for you when you felt troubled.

“You haven’t forgotten him, y/n,” your mother said calmly as she poured herself a glass of water. You knew who she referred to.

You sighed. “How can I? I loved him, mother. I still-”

Your mother shushed you. “You’re queen now, y/n. All eyes and ears are on you. I don’t want you to land in hot water because of one thing you said on impulse. Now...how is your dear husband these days?”

You caught up with your mother about the status of the kingdom and how kind Ten had been to you these days. You had some time to explore your old chambers in your childhood estate. Your desk sat right by the large window where you could look up at the stars. You decided to write a letter to Lucas. You hadn’t heard from him since he sent the letter confirming that his family was being taken care of. You made sure the letter was addressed from your childhood home so it couldn’t get traced back to the kingdom.

Dear Lucas,

How are you? How are things in the Park Estate these days? It’s getting colder here. The first snowfall is happening any day now. I’m pretty excited. The palace finally starts preparing the hot chocolate you love so much. I wish you could be here...Anyways...Being queen hasn’t been that bad. I haven’t been suspended from my duties as of now so I’d say there is still hope for me yet. I wish you well and hope you can respond to me soon.

                                                                                Yours,                                                                                     y/n

You asked your mother to send the letter to Lucas on your behalf. She gave you a look but gave in. You thanked her, had dinner with your parents, and returned to the palace.

A week later, your mother asked you to come over so you can help her redecorate the common room. It turned out to be a cover. “A letter came for you today. From Prince Lucas,” she said as she handed the letter to you. She sat down on the couch by the lit fireplace.

Your heart soared at this news and you ran up the stairs like an excited school girl. You locked yourself in your old bedroom, sat down at your desk, and opened the letter.

Dear y/n,

I miss you so much. You have no idea. Things for me...Well, I cannot complain. My mother, her husband, and my half-brother Yangyang are living in a lap of luxury in their small town. Yangyang will be able to train in the Royal Commanding Army soon. He’s thrilled beyond belief, saying he owes it all to me...When in reality, we owe it all to you. Thank you so much for convincing Ten to help my family out. I know what you did for me. I will always be thankful. Just as I will always love you. I wish we could be together during the first snowfall. We could’ve made my caretaker take the night off and I would’ve had my way with you at my old estate. If things had been different, huh? I’ll think of you during the first snowfall here, y/n. Please stay safe. I’m so glad to hear things are going well for you. I hope you can write to me again soon. Your words mean everything and more to me.

                                                                           Yours always,                                                                                       Lucas

Your tears fell at his declaration of his eternal love for you. How you wished things had been different. You decided to keep this letter hidden in your old home so that Ten could never chance himself at finding it. God knows what he would do if he did.

————

[MARCH 1895]

A month passed since you received Lucas’ letter. You two had gone back and forth several times since then. You were overjoyed that Lucas would be attending the kingdom’s upcoming Take Over the Moon Ball to celebrate the lunar eclipse. Princess Rosé would be joining him and while that made you ache with jealousy, you remembered once again that you also were spoken for. In the most permanent manner.

The festivities of the palace extended to the rest of the kingdom. There were firecrackers being launched to the sky. Children played on the streets with life-sized papier-mache dragons. Vendors were making a killing with food, costumes, and spirits. Everyone was ecstatic to witness the lunar eclipse. You were ecstatic to see Lucas again and Ten knew it. There was a spring in your step as you kissed Ten good morning the day of the ball. You two lied in bed together. He hugged your naked body from behind as his cock was nestled inside your rear.  

“You’re in a good mood,” Ten said in a teasing manner.

“I love this time of the year,” you admitted. It was part of the truth.

“I know you do. I expect to find you passed out on the dance floor before the night is over. Just like last year.” He smirked.

You laughed. “And you? You’re bound to take your shirt off and wave it like a flag at the balcony, greeting the townspeople once again. You’ll be sure to give some people a thrill.”

“y/n, I’m king now. I’m not going to-“

“Sure, sure...Keep on believing that a title change means that you won’t get drunk out of your wits, darling,” you joked.

Ten pulled himself out of you and turned you around. The look in his eyes was so familiar to you. He hungered for you. The carnal longing for you never ceased. Your heart raced and the heat between your legs increased. He nibbled at your neck and gave you a silent nod. You knew he was about to make love to you again. At least once before you two had to get dressed for your daytime Eclipse activities.

Someone knocked at the door. Ten frowned at the interruption but today was a day packed with activities for the royals. They couldn’t shirk their duties no matter how much they wanted to indulge in their private affairs.

Ten sighed and kissed your forehead. “Tonight. When the ball ends and we send off the last guest, you’re mine.”

Hours passed and you were about to be announced into the ball. The ballroom’s floor-to-ceiling windows brought in images of the starry night and the fireworks in the sky. The skylight gave the party a good view of the moon so you could dance the night away as the eclipse occurred.

Ten stood beside you. He was dressed in his navy blue winter attire with red accents. His golden crown was at the top of his perfectly coiffed hair. You stood beside him in a satin red ball gown. Your golden crown was accented with rubies. You two matched in the kingdom’s official color: red.

“Announcing His Royal Majesty and Her Royal Majesty, King Ten and Queen y/n,” the announcer announced to the guests in the ballroom.

You and Ten stood on top of the grand staircase. He offered his arm to you and you took it. You both walked down with poise and confidence. You would always be the envy of all of the women in the kingdom. You tried not to let the glares get to you. Ten was beaming with pride and victory, presenting you as his woman, his queen, his wife. The whole world needed to know that you belonged to him and no one else.

Meanwhile, you couldn’t help but scan the room for Lucas and met his warm brown eyes that already found yours. He looked at you in fascination, his mouth agape. Right by his side was his wife, Princess Rosé. She smiled at you out of sheer politeness, never having met you before but knowing you and Lucas were once close.

You couldn’t read her well but knew enough not to focus on them for too long or else others (and Ten) would get suspicious. All eyes were always on you after all..and part of you dreaded it, especially now.

Lucas was spellbound at the sight of you. Your hair was tied up into an elegant bun. Your crown suited you, he thought. You were meant to be queen. How much it hurt him that he couldn’t be the one beside you.

When you reached the bottom of the steps, Ten led you to the center of the dancefloor to begin the first dance of the night. Ten was an excellent dancer so those in attendance were in for a treat. Ten took you into his arms and spun you around to a joyful tune as the live band played. You fancied yourself a good dancer but even you struggled to keep up with Ten’s precision at times. Your nerves caused you to step on his foot. You gasped and felt a collective hush from the crowd as they watched.

You put your hands over your mouth as you pulled away from Ten. “Your Majesty, I am so-”

Ten laughed. “It’s alright, y/n.” He laughed and looked around at the crowd who watched.  He took your hands and pulled you closer to his chest. He smiled brightly at the spectators as he whispered to you, “I’ll make you pay for it tonight,” he whispered.

You gulped and nearly stumbled once more but Ten had a steady grip on you. Lucas watched the two of you. He couldn’t be visibly upset. That would cause people to ask questions. It was no secret that he was a close friend of the happy couple but no one knew of his and Ten’s falling out. No one ever would.

Beside him, Princess Rosé said, “What a beautiful couple.”

Lucas forced his voice to sound even. “Yes, they are, Your Highness.”

She wrapped her arms around his left forearm and snuggled her head against his shoulder. “We’ll take over the Park estate soon enough and throw our own lavish party. Then, we will be front and center, my love.”

Lucas replied as kindly as he could, “I anticipate it, my dear princess.”

You knew Lucas was watching. From your peripheral vision, you could feel him watching you. You couldn’t make eye contact or else Ten would’ve noticed.

The dancing continued. You and Ten switched partners from time to time. You took a respite and drank a glass of wine. Ten was in host mode, talking to the most influential leaders in the continent, including Rosé’s father, King Park.

You were tapped on the shoulder. You turned around and Lucas smiled. “Your Majesty.” He gave a playful bow.

You snorted. Very unladylike, you noted but didn’t care. Lucas caught you drooling in your sleep when you took naps under the cherry blossom tree all of these years so he knew who you really were. A title couldn’t change a person so easily.

“Your Highness,” you said as you curtsied.

He chuckled. “This is strange.”

You laughed. “You’re telling me.”

He offered his hand to you, not wasting any time. “May I have this dance?”

The song that was playing was slow. You took Lucas’ hand and walked awkwardly past Ten’s mother. She unapologetically glared at you and was definitely looking for her son to get his reaction. She would be the first to tattle on you like you just got detention and Ten was your parent. Anything to get you kicked to the curb and shunned.

You chose to ignore it and followed Lucas to the dance floor. He held you by the waist. His large hands easily enveloped you. Making physical contact with him after months of separation nearly drove you up a wall. You had to catch your breath. You moved slowly around the dance floor. No one questioned your dance partner as it was no secret you were friends. But Ten knew better. As his colleagues discussed politics and cranked open another bottle of scotch, he watched you and Lucas like a hawk.

You two looked awfully chummy. It killed him not to know what you two were whispering about. It killed him to see you smile at Lucas the way you smiled at him. It was the same look of adoration you gave him...Except he knew it was a more intense adoration. Ten knew that if he looked deeply into your eyes that he would find something more. He knew a part of you still loved Lucas.

What did he expect? For you to completely forget Lucas? Ten would’ve been a fool to believe that to be true. But these kinds of occasions where the Park family was invited were inevitable so he had to come to terms with that fact that you and Lucas would meet again.

It’s not like Lucas could do anything now, Ten reassured himself. You were his queen now. You would never betray him. Ten relaxed himself and laughed at one of King Park’s jokes.

Lucas spun you and pulled you close, “I missed you.”

You replied quietly, “I missed you.”

Lucas sighed. “You’re beautiful.”

Your face grew hotter. “So are you.”

Lucas chuckled. “I’m happy we can have this moment. No matter how brief it is.”

“Me, too. I wish the Park Estate wasn’t so far away.”

“It’s not that far,” Lucas mused.

You tilted your head in confusion. “Really?”

“I timed my last train ride. It’s about five hours away if the conductor has had a full night’s rest.”

“Five hours, huh? Just like that?”

He winked. “Just like that.”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re still a pain, I see.”

“And you’re still killing me,” he said, his voice huskier.

Your face had inched closer to his as the song continued. You shook yourself out of your bubble. “How angry does Ten look?” You panicked, forcing yourself to look. You were shocked to find him laughing and having as good of a time as anyone else at the ball. You eased up and exhaled.

“He looks plenty merry to me,” Lucas replied and realized. “What about Princess Rosé?” To your shock, Rosé was dancing with her ex-boyfriend Chanyeol. Everyone thought she would marry Lord Chanyeol but she broke it off when he admitted that he wanted to become a man of the cloth.

You and Lucas looked at each other and laughed.

“Why are we so worried?” You wondered aloud. “Everyone is having a great time and so should we.”

Lucas nodded. “Absolutely.”

You and Lucas retreat from the dance floor and eat together. He tells you about his new life at the Park Estate. He is in training to become their next king. He drank considerably as the night went on. Lucas wasn’t trained to be a diplomat or a lawmaker so it was a huge adjustment for him. His passions were in weaponry and hunting. When Lucas still lived in the kingdom, he trained to be a commander in the royal army. Now, he was preoccupied with reading and attended meetings with King Park. Whenever he wasn’t doing either of those things, he would accompany Rosé on trips and parties.

“It’s a lot different from training to be a commander, I have to say,” Lucas said as he frowned. “I’m glad I was able to bring Hazel with me, though.”

Hazel was Lucas’ trusty steed. You were happy that Ten’s mother hadn’t taken that away from him at least. Lucas treasured horseback riding. It gave him a sense of freedom and exhilaration. It was a piece of home he could always keep with him.

“I miss her. Would it be okay if I came to visit sometime? I would love to visit her,” you said as you took a bite of chocolate cake. You and Lucas had many adventures. You and Lucas would take Hazel on trips to the fields and to the waterfalls in the spring. Hazel trusted no other human besides Lucas and you.

“Just her, huh?” He gave you a knowing look.

You laughed as you sipped your glass of water. “I might as well catch up with the future King of the Park Estate. I can give you some pointers. Ten tells me a lot about the goings on in the kingdom.”

Lucas’ tone shifted abruptly. “I’m sure he does…” He’d hoped you wouldn’t mention him again. You’d certainly done a good job to omit Ten from your letters to him, Lucas thought. Why bring Ten up now?

You cleared your throat. “We don’t have to talk about Ten...I’m sorry.” You could see the distant look on Lucas’ face at the mention of Ten’s name. You didn’t want to hurt him even more.

Lucas smiled sadly as he raised your chin. “Chin up, y/n, you’re allowed to talk about your husband.”

The abrupt physical contact startled you. You looked around to see if anyone noticed. A couple of people did. Your eyes scanned the area for Ten’s mother, your biggest supporter.

“Lucas…” You started.

Lucas averted his eyes. “I’m sorry...I believe my liquid courage may have gotten the best of me, my dearest y/n.”

You sighed. “You can’t just touch me whenever you feel like it..You could get in trouble.” You didn’t mind the physical contact, actually. In fact, you craved it. But too many eyes were on you and you didn’t want any trouble. Ten’s mother would certainly give you an earful at your next obligatory tea time.

Your heart was moving a mile a minute, though. You thought you did enough to keep it from showing on your face. But Lucas made it so difficult.

Lucas took your hand from under the table. “Now no one can see. Is this okay?”

As much as you wanted to go back into a bubble with Lucas, you resisted. You felt him squeeze your hand. Your first instinct was to pull away but Lucas wouldn’t let go. “Please let go. We can’t.”

“Why not?” Lucas demanded. “We are childhood friends. There is nothing wrong with this. Why should we have to hide our bond?”

You quickly swiped your hand away. “You know damn well why. Get a cup of sobering tea. Your character is unbecoming of a prince.” You walked away from Lucas.

He got up and grabbed your arm. “y/n…”

“I believe my wife is correct, Prince Lucas.”

You and Lucas froze in your tracks.

Ten’s voice sounded so neutral. It was deceiving. Any man who touched his wife was in for a beating. No matter the title he held. He walked up to you two and pulled Lucas’ hand away, which went limp against his side.

“Your Majesty, my sincerest apologies, I-“ Lucas began.

Ten replied with the same smile he gave to his other friends and peers. “Go tend to your wife. I will take care of mine.”

Lucas’ fear definitely sobered him up. He bowed as a sign of respect and scurried off to find Princess Rosé.

“Ten, I-“

“I don’t want to hear it,” he said with the same smile on his face. He returned to his group and acted like nothing was wrong. But you knew better.

You knew that this was bad. Astronomically bad.

————

[APRIL 1895]

Days pass and Ten has not returned to your bedchamber that you shared with him. He never gave you the chance to explain. To explain that nothing happened and that Lucas was the one who held your hand. You worried that Ten would deem you unfaithful. You pined for Lucas and you would tell him you loved him in your letters but that was for no one else to know. The act of infidelity was not for you. No matter how much you longed for Lucas. You couldn’t betray Ten. He was upset but according to everyone else, he immersed himself into his duties.

Lucas sent you a letter a day in the past week. You scanned them quickly. They were full of apologies and sweet nothings. Part of you was furious at Lucas for being so unabashedly stupid and reckless. Part of you yearned for him even more. However, because you were already in hot water with Ten, you left Lucas’ letters unanswered.

When you saw Ten at public events in which you two appeared as a couple, he kept that same cold friendly smile on his face when he was around you. He would hold your hand and kiss your cheek. At first, you were stiff and confused as to how he was acting but soon, to save face, you also followed his lead of insincerity. You two would leave in separate carriages as he had other engagements to attend to.

After a week, you two finished dinner with the head commander and his wife. For the first time since the incident, you both rode home together. On the carriage ride back to the palace, you rode in silence.

“Ten,” you started meekly.

Ten did not reply as he stared out the window.

“Ten,” you snapped.

He whipped his head towards you with that same condescending smile. “Yes, dearest?”

You rolled your eyes. ��Don’t give me that. We’re alone now. What the hell is wrong with you?”

Ten chuckled. “That’s rich, coming from you. Asking me what’s wrong like you have any right to be upset.”

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “Ten, I told you that Lucas and I-”

He moved closer to you and grabbed you by the arm. “Don’t you dare bring up that bastard’s name. The next time you let that name slip from your lips-”

“What, then?” You demanded. “Tell me.”

Ten’s smile faded. “You don’t want to go there, y/n. You seem to have forgotten every single thing I’ve done for you since the minute you said yes to me. You’ve become ungrateful and insolent…”

You tried pulling away but Ten wouldn’t budge. He kissed you, forcibly entering your mouth with his tongue. Between kisses, he said, “You. Are. Mine.”

You pulled away with all of the strength you had and looked him in the eyes. “Ten, nothing happened. I swear to you. I love you. Only you.” You were willing to say anything for him to soften his grasp, soften his expression. He couldn’t kiss you or touch you when he was like this. In the bedroom, he was scary enough when he wasn’t mad at you.

Tears ran down your cheeks and something inside Ten made him relax. He realized he may have taken things too far with you. Lucas was to blame for all of this. Ten’s mother should’ve married him off to a princess in another continent so you two would never see each other again.

Ten sighed. “What happened at the ball, y/n?” He let you go quickly and helped you flatten your dress.

You began, “We danced. We ate and caught up with each other. He was acting like nothing had changed. He’s always been very affectionate. You know this more than anyone.”

Ten glared at the floor of the carriage. “Sure.”

“He held my hand,” you said. “That was all. He wanted to act like nothing changed between us.”

Ten raised his eyebrows. “And what do you mean by ‘nothing changed between you two’?”

He was baiting you. He suspected the worst of you: that you would cheat on him in marriage. After the vow you swore to one another?

You sighed. “Our friendship. I’m queen and he can’t exactly give me bear hugs like he used to.”

Still a little wary, Ten nodded.

You continued, “Things are different now. He’s married and...you and me are married,” you said as you held his hand. “I love you, Ten.”

Ten softened at hearing those three words again. The sound of his name that came off of the prettiest lips. He caressed you and embraced you. “I’m sorry, my love. I was too harsh on you.”

You cried softly. He definitely had been. You hugged him back. You were relieved that he was no longer angry. You hoped things would return to normal now.

When you returned to your chambers to retire for the night, you wanted to surprise Ten with your newest set of undergarments that came in from the country of Soleil. This was in anticipation of making up with him at some point and now you couldn’t think about anything else other than pleasing your husband. Ten returned from the restroom to find you lying against the headboard of your massive bed. Your brassiere barely held up your breasts. You may as well have not been wearing one. Your panties hugged your bottom tightly.

“My king,” you said slowly, looking at Ten from under your eyelashes.

Ten was in his wine red robe and nothing else on, which was his usual bedroom attire. He was shocked to see you so bold. Seeing you take the initiative should’ve sent his cock up.

But it laid there. Limp.

You looked down at his nether region and made the same observation. You shot Ten a look of confusion. Perhaps the week apart really threw you both off of your game. But you continued. You got off of the bed and walked slowly over to him. Ten’s mouth dropped at the sight of you. You looked so...appetizing.

His cock seemed to disagree and he started to panic, which he knew would make things worse. He tried to distract you by meeting you halfway. He wrapped his arms around you and put his hands on your ass. “You want to play with me, don’t you?”

“Well, I’ve been quite bored and lonely in this bed all by myself, Your Majesty…” You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed his collarbone.

Ten hissed as you grabbed his cock, which to your surprise was still not springing up. You looked up at Ten with big eyes, making him blush a bright red.

As you moved your hand up and down his cock, nothing happened.

Ten tried to distract you as he pleased you. He inserted two fingers into your panties and fingered around your flower. He was hoping his magical fingers could render you silly and distract you. However, you were already upset. Even worse, you weren’t soaked.

Ten picked you up bridal style and tried to spin how this night would transpire. He laid you on the bed. “Can you be a good girl for me? In fact, you still owe me for stepping on my foot at the ball,” he said as he gave you a knockout smile.

You wanted to be the one who pleased him. To have him writhe under you and make you plead for mercy. You shook your head. You knew something was wrong and he was trying to hide it.

“I wanted to be in charge tonight, Your Majesty, but I guess things just aren’t looking up,” you said as you put your own robe on and moved to your side of the bed. As Ten begged you to change your mind, you ignored him and silently cried yourself to sleep.

You couldn’t understand. The mere sound of his name off of your lips usually got him hard. Sometimes to the point that it distracted you from your daily activities together. So what went wrong? What could you have done differently? Were you at fault?

You’ve never felt so small.

————

You woke up the next day to find Ten already left for the day. He left you a glass of water with a note.

My darling y/n,

I am so sorry. I’m not quite sure what happened. I will be seeing a specialist to see if there’s any issue. Darling, this is all on me. I love you and will see you soon. Please don’t be sad. My queen deserves happiness forevermore.

                                                                            Yours Eternally,

                                                                                           Ten

You rolled your eyes at reading his note but in the back of your mind, you wondered if there could be some underlying medical condition he could’ve developed. You thought of his father and now you began to worry.

Perhaps you had been too mean.

You spent time in the library researching King Lee’s ailments that caused his early passing but could find nothing that tied to Ten’s erectile dysfunction. Then, you read up on erectile dysfunction and wondered if Ten had been dealing with too much stress. You would have the kitchen prepare him some tea to help him sleep earlier. He needed more rest. Even now, you still had no idea what emotional and mental tolls Ten’s father’s death had taken on him.

You retreated back to your quarters for lunch. As you walked past the kitchen area, you heard giggles and sighs. You caught a peek inside of the room and saw the maids sharing a smoke.

“He is the most beautiful man.” One of them laughed.

“Oh, please, His Majesty has nothing on Prince Lucas. It’s such a shame he lives so far away now…” Another maid added.

“How naive you are. I don’t think the prince has the same stamina as His Royal Majesty does,” a third maid with the most condescending tone added. She laughed mockingly at the second maid. “I mean, ask Jade.”

The maids didn’t see you and you were thankful that stealth was one of your hidden attributes. The nerve of these maids. You could’ve easily walked in and fired them all but you weren’t Ten. You were more lenient with the help. When someone didn’t fold his clothes the right way, Ten would be on the verge of dismissing them. You always had to talk him down from making that mistake. On the other hand, you tried to give the servants the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe not today, though.

Who the hell was Jade?

“Jade is a trollop who lacks the brain cells to keep her mouth shut,” the first maid said, “And I’m not just talking about spewing her secrets.”

That caused all of the maids to cackle like witches.

These maids had no idea what they were talking about. How dare they talk about Ten in such a lewd manner? And who the hell was Jade?

The name sounded familiar. You believe she worked near the stables.

“Jade should be careful. Any day now that simpleton queen will catch them in the act and there’s no telling what will happen to her,” the third maid said as she blew out a puff of smoke.

“She better hope that day isn’t today. Jade seemed pretty excited to return to the stables after lunch,” the second maid added.

You gaped at that last sentence and ran off. The maids could hear the sound of footsteps fading and their smoke break did nothing to alleviate their worries now.

You made your way to the stables with a few attendants at your side. You instructed them to wait for you outside as you wanted to greet the horses. According to them, the horse handlers and stable workers were on break.

You walked into the stable and pet the horses, feeding them carrots and sugar cubes. They reminded you of Hazel and in turn, Hazel reminded you of Lucas.

A woman’s giggle broke you out of your thoughts as you heard some noise in the back right corner of the stables. The giggle came from an empty stable as the door was left open. You moved slowly down to the end so as not to be detected. When you got closer, that was when you could hear the moans, the slapping of skin, and the sloppy kisses.

“Are you enjoying this, Your Majesty?” You heard a woman ask. Her voice is low and seductive and most of all, very irritating.

You stood there frozen in your tracks. Perhaps this woman and her partner were into using nicknames in their foreplay, you thought. Maybe you were wrong to suspect the worst. Maybe there was a visiting king? But in the stables with a mystery woman?

But then you heard his moans.

“You are serving your master well, Jade. Your family will be provided handsomely for your commendable service to your king,” he said.

It was Ten. And in the shadows, you recognized the outline of his dick. The image of his dick was embedded in your brain. How could it not be when Ten’s thirst was never satisfied?

You caught a peek of the couple and saw Ten completely naked and the maid Jade down to her undergarments. She was riding his dick like her life depended on it. Speaking of your husband’s endowment, it didn’t seem like anything was wrong now.

What a cruel joke. You laughed to yourself. Loud enough for the pair to jump.

“y/n!” Ten looked stunned for the first time in his life. He hadn’t looked this stunned since the news of his father’s passing.

“Hello, darling,” you began, “And this must be the commendable Jade.”

Jade’s satiated smile quickly vanished at the sight of you. She quickly covered herself with the first piece of fabric she could find. And it was one of Ten's robes. The nerve of this underling, you thought. How dare she grab onto your husband’s clothes as if she was entitled to them?

You had the mind to send her to the dungeon. You could finally see the appeal behind dungeons. Ten always wanted to sentence the help to the dungeons for little inconveniences and you always had to be the one to talk him down. But now...you finally had a good reason to put a servant away.

“Now’s not the time to be modest, Jade,” you said as you wrapped your arms around your chest. You walked up to her and placed your heel against her chest. She breathed heavily against your shoe. “I should thank you. And here I thought my husband was falling ill...I was so concerned. But now thanks to you, I know that he is a lecherous and treacherous fiend.”

Jade shrunk. This was so unlike the big mouthed and presumptuous slag you were expecting.

“Cat got your tongue?” You asked sweetly. “Speak up. You do enough of it that thanks to a handful of maids, I could be here with you two today.”

“y/n,” Ten begged as he grabbed your left leg. “Please-”

“Get your dirty hands off of me, husband.” You spat the last word with as much venom as you could muster. You kicked his arms away.

You got your foot off Jade's chest and turned to Ten. You put your heel very near to his nether region. You had the nerve to stomp on it and ruin his chances of producing an heir. Jade grabbed her clothes and scurried away.

“That’s right, vermin. Scurry off to your station,” you said with a fake smile and a fake lilt to your voice. When you turned back to your still naked husband, your voice turned to stone.

“So this is who you ran to when you gave me the cold shoulder the past week, huh? How insulting,” you spat. “You should’ve hid your tracks better. Far be it from me to let you two have your little midday delights.”

Ten breathed heavily from his passionate lovemaking and now because of the murderous look in your eyes. “y/n, darling...I am so sorry. I was upset…”

You raised your eyebrows. “You expect me to believe that this little affair is new? Don’t make me laugh.”

You got your foot off of his crotch and helped him up. You pushed him against the wall of the stables, stunning the rest of the horses. They neighed and jumped in their stables.

“Lucas held my hand because that’s the kind of shit close friends do but since your insecure little ass couldn’t take it, you sent him away. Right? Don’t tell me that that was all your mummy’s doing.”

Ten was about to snap back but you interrupted him, not giving him a chance to spin this on you.

“What will you do?” You asked.

Ten asked, “What-”

“What will you do when that harlot ends up pregnant with your baby? Will you make the child suffer just like your father did Lucas-”

Ten slapped you, unable to control his anger any longer. “How dare you dishonor my father and bring up that bastard…”

You clutch onto your cheek, shocked that he would ever lay a hand on you. After everything he’s done...And he wanted to spin this on you? For speaking out of turn?

A good queen would swallow her pride and forgive her husband. For they were bound together until death did them part. A reasonable woman, on the other hand, would destroy him. Unfortunately, you fell somewhere in between these two identities.

You finished as hot tears ran down your face. “How dare you do this to me? You said that I was all that you ever wanted. I guess you’ll say anything to get anyone into bed. What a fool I’ve been.” You kicked him in the shins and ran off.

“y/n!” He yelled out in physical and emotional pain.

You returned to your parents’ home and spent the rest of the day with them. You weeped near to the point of hysterics in your bed. You have never felt so humiliated. And at the hands of the man who was supposed to treasure you with each breath he took.

Ten knew you were back at your old home and didn’t come to see you. You thought it was a smart choice on his part because had he come see you, you would’ve contemplated the subject of genital mutilation.

Your mother brought you a bowl of fruit and you savored each bite. Ten was repulsed by fruit so if you ever ate it, he would know and it would irritate him greatly. Well, you did a little more than irritate him today. And you didn’t give a damn. You weren’t returning to the palace for as long as you could help it so bring on the fruit, you said.

Ten especially hated strawberries. You indulged on all of the strawberries in the bowl, enjoying it more now since Ten wasn’t around to protest. The things you had to sacrifice to be with him...The strawberries weren’t even the tip of the iceberg.

You told your parents everything. Your father had the nerve to go to the castle and give Ten a beating, royal status be damned. You told them to stand down because they didn’t deserve to get entangled in this mess. They welcomed you back home for at least a few days but insisted you would have to make amends with Ten. Your marriage was until death did you part, after all.

This marital construct was starting to sound more and more like bullshit with each passing day.

Your mother handed you a letter. “He sent you another letter. Shall I throw it away?”

You sighed. “No, it’s alright.”

Your mother gave you a warning look. You nodded, knowing what she said without hearing the words. She left you in your room.

You got up from bed and sat down at your desk. You opened the letter.

Dear y/n,

I know it’s pointless to make excuses but I want you to know that I am genuinely sorry. Under the facade of friendship, I was jealous. That man has the one thing I want. The one thing I need. The one thing I crave. And I can’t have her. I missed you so much and seeing you in that red dress, I was very near to my undoing. I love you, y/n. I always will but I know it is too late for us. I will let you go. For your sake. 

I’m in my mother’s hometown of Wanderlust for the next two weeks. Princess Rosé is away as one of her closest friends will be wed in the Western continent. If you would like to meet once more, I would like that very much.

                                                                              Yours Always,

                                                                                         Lucas

Lucas visited Wanderlust under the pretense of hunting and to take a respite in nature. The Park estate was aware of his whereabouts. They believed him to be staying with a humble host family. They assumed Lucas did it to know what it was like to be among commoners. To help gain their family a new perspective. When in reality the family of commoners were his real family.

Your anger at Lucas faded in the past few days but you couldn’t bring yourself to respond to any of his letters. Until now.

You got your travel bag prepared and told your mother you were traveling to the family cabin in Flame, a town quite close to Wanderlust. Your mother noted the shift in your mood. The restored determination in your eyes. Something in that letter made you want to go to Flame...or somewhere near it.

“Mother, if Ten comes for me, tell him I have retired to our cabin in Flame. I will return in three days.” You prayed he wouldn’t come and find you.

Lucas called to you and it was time for you to stop shoving these feelings aside. If only for a moment.

In the evening, you arrived via train to Flame and settled into your family’s cabin. The next day, you took one of the ranch hand’s horses, Mint, to arrive in the next town of Wanderlust.

You forgot how liberating it felt to ride on a horse. Lucas typically sat at the front of the saddle when you two rode on his horse Hazel. Now you rode on Mint on your own. You felt so liberated and light. The feel of the wind whipping against your face. The quick beating of your heart. The stomping of the hooves against the dirt. You envisioned yourself on an epic journey, as a heroine on her way to save an endangered village. You liked to play pretend when you were a little girl but as a teenager, it was Lucas who would entertain your imagination. He would act as your second-in-command on your horseback adventures.

He was endearing that way. You couldn’t wait to see him again. You followed Lucas’ instructions that he attached to the letter in order to find his family home.

You saw a house in the distance with a large wisteria tree. The purple and blue flowers dangled from the branches. It was a magnificent tree. Your eyes moved downward to the trunk where you found Lucas sitting with his nose in a book again

Hearing the horse coming in the distance, Lucas got up from the tree, dropping his book to the ground in shock.

You were a vision. You couldn’t possibly be here. He was dreaming. He must have fallen asleep reading the history of the Park Estate again.

You pulled the reins on Mint and you stopped a few feet before him.

“Hello there,” you said, acting like a gallant gentleman picking up his lady.

Realizing you weren’t a figment of his imagination, Lucas laughed. “You look ridiculous.” He said it so fondly. So intimately that you knew he was messing with you.

He was right, though. You reached your hand up to your hair to find it tangled from the wind. Horseback riding always looked more impressive when other people did it, you guessed. You just weren’t blessed with a wind-resistant mane.

You were about to hop down from Mint but Lucas helped you, grabbing you by the waist and turning you around to face him. You jumped into his arms and he pulled you in for a hug. He spun you around in circles.  

“You came,” he said, smiling and humming against your hair.

You nodded, shy. “I did.”

“Lucas, it’s time for lunch!” A third voice piped in.

You and Lucas nearly jumped out of your skin. He quickly put you down and you fixed your hair the best you could.

A young man appeared before you both. He eyed you and then he quickly bowed. “You must be the incomparable Queen y/n.”

You gasped. “How does he-”

“y/n, this is my younger brother, Yangyang,” Lucas said as he wrapped an arm around his brother.

“You were holding out on me, Lucas,” Yangyang addressed Lucas so casually. “She’s gorgeous. If you weren’t spoken for, Your Majesty, I would’ve stolen you from both the king and my brother.”

You laughed. “I believe that, Yangyang. You are definitely the cuter sibling.”

Lucas pouted. “You don’t mean that.”

You got up on your tiptoes and ruffled Lucas’ hair. “Maybe not.”

Yangyang rolled his eyes. “Your Majesty, would you do us the honor of joining us for lunch since my ignorant older brother has not done so already?”

You fought back a laugh as Lucas was about to protest. “I would love to.”

You joined Yangyang and Lucas inside their country home. You were happy to see that Lucas’ family lived in a nice and safe house. It was lovely and warm. There were family photos on the wall and paintings as well. There were well-tended plants all over the common room. A fire was lit at the fireplace.

Yangyang led you both into the kitchen. Lucas called out, “Mother!”

“Yes, dear?” You heard a woman call out. She was cutting some vegetables as she cooked some stew.

You entered the kitchen. Lucas continued, “I have someone I want you to meet.”

Lucas’ mother turned around and gasped. “Y-your Majesty!”

The last reaction you expected from Lucas’ mother was shock but then you remembered you were Queen. You coughed out, “H-hello, ma’am.”

Lucas’ mother was gorgeous. You can see where Lucas got his warm smile and his magnetic brown eyes. Her long black hair ran down her back and it was tied back with a baby blue ribbon. “It is an honor to meet you. We welcome you into our home. May I offer you a cup of tea?”

You nodded, smiling. “The honor is all mine. I’ve been wanting to meet you for a long time. And yes, some tea would be great.”

She grinned. “Please take a seat.” She offered you a seat at the dining room table beside the kitchen. “Had I known you were coming, I would’ve cleaned up.”

You, Lucas, and Yangyang looked around the house. It was spotless.

“Mother-” Yangyang started, about to say something sarcastic, surely.

Their mother shushed Yangyang. She turned to her much taller son. “You could’ve given me some notice, Lucas.”

“Actually, this was a surprise visit. Completely my fault. I hope I’m not disturbing,” you said, feeling bad. You didn’t realize how much of an imposition you were being to Lucas and his family. “I won’t be long-”

Lucas interrupted as he took your hand, pleading. “No, don’t go.”

Yangyang snickered and their mother laughed with her hand over her mouth. “Your Majesty, you can stay for as long as you’d like.”

“Th-thank you, ma’am...I would appreciate it if you guys called me y/n when we’re alone…”

Yangyang replied, “You’re kidding.”

You shook your head. “I am not.”

Lucas added, “She’s queen. We have to do what she says.”

You all laughed as you helped their mother prepare lunch. No one wanted you to lift a finger so you used the queen card again. You were allowed to make fresh orange juice. It’d been so long since you’ve been allowed to do something for yourself without a servant. It felt good.

Lucas stole glances from you as you worked in the kitchen. Your heart raced faster each time.

You all sat down for lunch. Lucas’ stepfather, aka Yangyang’s father, came in and greeted you and was brought up to speed on your visit. The five of you sat down for lunch. The stew was delicious. It rivaled your mother’s tomato soup. You wished you could have an endless supply of this stew…

For when you had to go back.

As crazy as it sounded, it pained for you to go back to the palace. In a matter of hours, you felt more at home in Lucas’ family home than you had at the palace.

You wondered just how different things would’ve been had you, Lucas, and Ten never been royals. The pressure would’ve been off. Ten wouldn’t have thrown his power in your face. Lucas wouldn’t have had to leave. Maybe you and Lucas would have run off and moved to a place like this.

And be happy together.

Lucas noticed that you grew silent at the table.

He offered to put his hand over yours. You nodded. He knew better than ever that consent was necessary.

Lucas’ mother and stepfather eyed each other. Yangyang blew a loose strand of hair off of his forehead. “You two couldn’t be more obvious.”

You and Lucas nearly jumped out of your seats.

Lucas’ mother asked carefully, “y/n, are you alright? Did something happen at the palace for you to come visit?”

Lucas frowned as he saw the wave of dread that fell over your face.

“Uh…” You hesitated.

“Mother, wait…” Lucas started.

Lucas’ mother apologized, “I am so sorry, Your-I mean, y/n...I spoke out of turn.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine. I would just prefer to not discuss it. As far as His Royal Majesty is concerned, he has been informed that I took a respite in my family’s cabin in Flame. Not too far from here.”

Lucas could tell something was wrong. And he knew it was Ten’s fault. That son of a bitch, he thought.

You and Lucas’ family continued eating and the mood hadn’t been destroyed. You recounted tales of Lucas’ youth to his family and they were all laughing so hard. Lucas’ mother nearly teared up a few times as she had missed so much for the sake of her son’s future. After her many protests, Lucas’ mother begrudgingly let you help clean up the table. Yangyang and his father retired to get some firewood to roast some marshmallows later. You joined Lucas in the backyard where a stream flowed.

“Hi,” you said as Lucas watched the water.

“You alright?” He asked, focused solely on you now.

You nodded. “Yeah, I feel so much better.”

He patted the grass beside him so you would join him. “I told myself I wouldn’t pry but...what happened?”

You sighed. “Well, after the ball, Ten did a little more than give me the cold shoulder for a week.”

Lucas turned right around and looked at you. “What…”

“He’s been sleeping with the help. Some harlot named Jade who works in the stables,” you said as you picked at the grass with your fingers.

Lucas shot up from his seat on the grass. “I’ll kill him. Don’t know how but I’ll kill him. Let’s go right now-”

You stood up and looked up at him, yearning for eye contact to ease his stress. “No, Lucas. I don’t want to see him. I came here to get away from him but more importantly, I wanted to see you.”

Lucas met your gaze and cupped your face in his hands. “I hate to see you in pain. You don’t deserve this. He was supposed to take care of you. Only you. That insufferable troll.”

You caressed your face against his hands, enjoying the warmth that radiated off of them. “I suppose he thought you and I…”

Lucas’ eyes widened. “It’s because of me…” He had no idea just how much of a mess he’d made.

You shook your head. Ten was blowing things out of proportions, like he always did. “He was always jealous of the connection we shared.”

Lucas let go of your face and held your hand. “I don’t blame him. Before I got married, I was jealous of every moment between you and him.”

A little embarrassed at his confession, you added, “You definitely hid it better than Ten did.”

Lucas shook his head. “There was going to be a point where the three of us wouldn’t be friends anymore. Because of our feelings for you. And now that I know the truth about my real father, it’s worse.”

You squeezed his hand. “I’m so sorry. Queen Lee was always so harsh with you, too.”

“I always wondered why that crone hated me so much. It’s nice to finally know the truth, at least.”

Lucas’ existence was a reminder to Ten’s mother that her husband had been unfaithful. She carried so much bitterness in her heart. After seeing the stunt Ten pulled, you could finally understand her more.

It didn’t mean her any less of an intolerable crone but you understood where all of the resentment came from.

And it made you wonder if Ten had committed more than one indiscretion. With more than one partner. You grew tense just thinking of what awaited you when you returned to the palace. How you wished you didn’t have to go back.  

Lucas continued, “I’m so sorry, y/n. I didn’t want to trouble you. It was the last thing I wanted.”

You sighed and smiled at him. “Ten didn’t make it any better so don’t beat yourself up over it.”

Lucas sighed. “I would talk to him but I’m the last person he wants to hear from.”

“I...You know what, I’m not going to fight you on that. I can’t mention your name or he…”

Lucas grew concerned. “Or he’ll what?”

“He didn’t tell me,” you started, “But I can imagine whatever he had in mind wouldn’t be fun.”

“He wouldn’t lay a hand on you,” Lucas challenged, He then admitted, “As for emotional manipulation? That’s fair game.” He also grew up with Ten, of course. You and Lucas knew Ten better than anyone. Ten’s dear mother only saw what Ten wanted her to see. In her eyes, he was the perfect and devoted son. Ten was an actor. You had to give him credit where it was due.

You sighed. “Well, I’m not going to take that.”

Lucas ran his hands over his hair in frustration. “You shouldn’t have to. God, why did you marry him? Well, I know why...I just...You shouldn’t have…”

You ruffled his hair. “I would do it again. I’m so happy you and your family are safe. That’s what matters to me.”

Lucas looked at you in awe. You were the most selfless and courageous woman he’d ever known. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” you said as you hugged him.

He held you tightly because as he had stated in his letter, this could be your goodbye. “I miss you. All the time. I miss you right now, even though you’re right here with me because I know it’s only a matter of time until you go back.”

You cried, “I wish things could be different but...”

Lucas wiped your endless stream of tears. “Maybe...just this once....”

You froze. His lips were so close. All you had to do was tiptoe and you could have him. So you kissed him and he quickly reciprocated. Each kiss felt as if it was your last. Your panties were soaked at just imagining Lucas on top of you again.

Lucas never wanted to let you go. You were his whole world. A beam of sunlight that he wished he could always keep with him. Even if your time together was brief, he treasured each second more than the last. After a few minutes, Lucas released you. “Do you…” He started. He wanted to make love one last time.

You wanted to say yes. You really did. But Ten’s betrayal was still fresh on your mind. You couldn’t fathom stooping as low as he did. This was not the way you wanted to reconnect with Lucas. You didn’t want your time with Lucas to include revenge sex. It wasn’t even about getting even. You wanted to be with Lucas for the sake of just being with him.

You shook your head. “Let’s just spend the next three days together. With your family.”

You didn’t have to explain. Lucas was just happy to be with you for as long as you both could manage.

For the next few days of your retreat, you checked on your family’s cabin to make sure you had no unwanted visitors. The last person you wanted to see but also expected to find was Ten. You wouldn’t put it past him to come and find you, even after you insisted you would return on your own. However, his schedule was always tightly packed. You always made a note of his upcoming schedules so even you could know where he was at all times. Ten certainly didn’t have a problem with doing the same for you. You could never be too careful.

It seemed like Ten had respected your need for space, which gave you some relief. You wondered if he was with another servant now. It could’ve easily been anyone: a noble, a royal from another continent, anyone. You weren’t sure if getting caught by you would deter him. One thing you learned about Ten was that his appetite was never fully satiated. Perhaps you weren’t enough for him. And that hurt you to the core.

You spent most of your time at Lucas’ family home. You went horseback riding with Lucas and Yangyang. You went swimming in the stream with Lucas. Yangyang and his father taught you how to maneuver a bow and arrow for the palace forbade you from learning. Lucas’ mother taught you about the medicinal herbs she worked with. She was the local physician of Wanderlust. You also baked pastries with her and talked to her about Lucas’ past.

You sat down together the night before you parted for the palace again. You sat outside with her, overlooking the large grassy field.

Lucas’ mother stirred her tea. “I’m thankful to you, y/n.”

You shook your head. “You don’t have to thank me. I wanted to help your family-”

She shook her head and laughed. “No, dear. I meant, thank you for being by his side all of these years. I couldn’t be with my son and I always wondered if he was truly happy at the palace. If he found moments of respite and joy when he wasn’t being scrutinized by his father and his wife.”

You replied, “It was Lucas who was there for me, ma’am.”

She placed her hand over yours. “Give yourself more credit. I see the way he is with you. He adores you.”

You avoided her stare, in fear of revealing too much.

“I know his marriage to the princess was not through his own volition and that his heart belongs to you, y/n. I am truly sorry that it ended up this way.”

“So am I,” you replied as you drank your tea. Your hands shook as you handled the cup.

“Perhaps in the next life, you two will find each other again,” she said as she looked out into the horizon.

“Perhaps,” you said as a tear left your eye once again.

“You are always welcome here. You have become like a daughter to me,” she said warmly.

You wiped your tear away and gave her a bright smile. “Would it be acceptable if I called you Mother?”

Lucas’ mother cried tears of joy. “Of course. Only if you let me call you daughter.”

You held her hands and embraced her. Lucas watched you two from the backdoor and smiled, tears in his eyes.

Lucas accompanied you back to your cabin on his family’s horse. You rode together side by side and stole glances. “We can do this again, right?” He asked.

You pretended to think about it. “Of course, we can!” You laughed at his eye roll.

He replied, “Then the next time I plan to return to Wanderlust, I will send you a letter.”

You smiled, biting your lip. “I would like that.”

Lucas kissed you goodbye. It pained you both but you felt relief at knowing that this wouldn’t be the last time you saw each other.

————

Upon arriving at the train station, you were shocked to find Ten waiting there for you. He was accompanied by a group of servants and guards. The passengers and visitors in the station watched him in awe and adoration.

“Your Majesty!”

“It’s Queen y/n!”

“And His Majesty has come to receive her. How sweet! What an attentive husband!”

“Long live King Lee!”

“Many blessings to the royal couple!”

“Ten…” You started.

He began, “Seulgi, grab her bag.”

You and Ten’s servant Seulgi greeted you with a nod and grabbed your bag. Ten offered his arm to you and seeing as you had an audience and an obligation to your people, you took his arm. “Welcome home, darling,” he said quietly. You walked together to the carriage that would take you to the palace.

“Your Majesty,” you replied.

“How was your time in Flame?” He asked.

“Quiet,” you began, “It was nice to get away from the chaos of the palace for a moment. It has been a stressful time. All of this,” you waved your arms around to the crowd, “is still very new to me.”

He cooed. “Darling, it is understandable. It only pleases me that you have returned home.”

He helped you up in the carriage and he sat himself down beside you. The coachman instructed the horses to move. You looked out the window now, avoiding Ten’s stare.

“y/n…” He started.

You shook your head. “Not here.”

So he waited until you returned to your shared quarters.

“y/n,” he said, more pathetically.

“What is it, husband until death do us part?” You asked bitterly as you untied your hair and sat down at the vanity beside the bed.

He hesitated and you wondered just what the look on his face was. You refused to look at him through the mirror. He was always a very prideful and defensive man, even when he was in the wrong. You imagined he was furious at your attitude. Maybe that wouldn’t be to your benefit. He wasn’t the type to grovel for forgiveness.

“I am deeply repentant for my indiscretion with that maid. It meant absolutely nothing. She is not you, y/n.” He attempted to hug you from behind.

You pulled yourself away from him. You scoffed. “Well, it’s nice to know that she can’t fuck as well as I can. That makes me feel so much better.”

Ten bit back his words. He didn’t want you to be mad at him but your insubordination was not making this easy.

You decided to drive the wedge between you further. You recited the following: “‘I will love you for all of my days and be loyal to you. Only. You’.” Ten’s marriage vows had unraveled before your very eyes.

Ten pleaded. “y/n-”

You finally turned around and faced him. “You. Hurt. Me. Betrayed me. Discarded me. If only for a moment, you discarded me like a used handkerchief. If you were going to treat me like this, you shouldn’t have married me. You didn’t need me to rule. You never needed me. You could be with any woman you want. But you wanted to marry me. Why, Ten? Why did you marry me if you were going to fuck this up so horribly?” You sobbed.

Ten’s conscience reared its ugly head and he had to take pause and consider your words. You were questioning your marriage now. You were never meant to find out about his indiscretion. This was all of his fault.

And now here you were, the love of his life: crumbling, spiteful, and broken.

You had to know that no matter who he laid with, you were always on his mind. Always in his heart. The only woman who could reign beside him. You were his everything. He worshipped you. You had to know that.

If you continued to convince yourself that this marriage couldn’t work, then you would insist on an annulment. And Ten forbade it. He would make it an official kingdom rule. Unless it was through death, a marriage was permanent.

And he intended to live a long, happy life with you and the children that you would give him.

So he would have to treat you kindly and gain your trust in any way he could. “I am so sorry, y/n. I...There is no excuse for the mistake I’ve made. The fool I was, I believed the worst of you and especially Lucas. I thought you had betrayed me so...I found comfort in another woman. A lowly servant of all people! I’ve committed an unforgivable grievance.”

You sniffled and eyed him carefully. “Ten, you were wrong about Lucas and me. You never gave me a chance to explain. You were quick to find someone else to lie with. It makes me wonder if this was the only indiscretion…”

Ten sobbed. He broke down and sobbed. You hadn’t seen him break down like this...ever. Not since his father died.

He got down on both of his knees before you. “I’ve failed you, my love. I am scum. I am unworthy of you. I should be burned at the stake. I am willing to do anything for you to forgive me. I can’t be without you. You have helped me through the darkest moments of my life. The thought of losing you...is too much for me to bear. I...can’t.”

“Ten, please…” You worried he was about to choke. “You need to calm down…”

He shook his head. “I cannot! I need you, y/n! I will not deceive you again. I swear it to you!”

You took the pitcher of water from the bedside table and poured him a glass of water. You offered it to him.

He sniffled and wiped his tears with his sleeve. “Thank you. Even when you’re angry at me, you show me kindness. My queen…”

You sighed. It was going to take a lot for you to open yourself up to Ten again. But he was remorseful beyond your wildest dreams. You had to take his word for it that he would try. It would take a long time but if Ten was in earnest, you had to accept it.

“Okay,” you said quietly.

“Darling?” His eyes widened with a rare childlike innocence.

“Okay,” you said more clearly.

His beautiful smile appeared on his face and he cried happily as he took your hand, squeezing it. “My angel. My everything.”

You didn’t squeeze his hand back but you gingerly removed your hand from his grasp. Ten’s smile faded.

“It will take some time for you to regain my complete confidence. I am your wife. And I will do all that is required of me as queen but I plead with you: do right by me. Be faithful to me and only me. That is all I ask of you,” you said, still uncertain of what the future would bring for you two.

Ten was relieved. You were giving him a second chance. He would do everything in his power and more to regain your trust and devotion.

————

[JULY 1895]

Ten has done nothing short of spoiling you rotten for the past three months. He bought you the finest jewels from the ends of the world, having the country’s best designers fix them into brooches, necklaces, bracelets, earrings, and crowns. Knowing you had the biggest sweet tooth, he had the kitchen staff working around the clock to prepare pastries from all over the world. He arranged trips to libraries and observatories all over the country for your thirst for knowledge never ceased.

As for Jade, Ten dismissed her and you hadn’t seen or heard mention of her since that fateful day.

Slowly, you opened yourself up to Ten. You began to joke with him again, acting like you used to when you were friends. You welcomed him into bed again and would sleep together. And eventually, you became one again every night.

In those three months, you and Lucas exchanged letters whenever you visited your parents. He was doing well at the kingdom. The king and queen were fond of him. Rosé was good to him. You were happy he wasn’t in a hostile environment anymore but part of you still longed for him.

Lucas was happy to hear that you were in better spirits but he was onto Ten. He always knew there was something off about his half-brother: an inexplicable thirst that never quenched. He believed that a man like him was capable of deceit and could hurt you again. However, because you sounded happier, he chose to refrain from meddling. Instead, you two constantly reminded each other that no matter the distance or the time, you two would always love each other. And that you would see each other again.

After visiting the orphanage in town, you returned to the castle earlier than anticipated. You walk past the library only to hear a strange noise.

You frowned. That was odd. The library was only open to you and Ten. It was only cleaned in the evenings when you’d both retired for your slumber.

You wondered if it had been a spirit so curiosity got the best of you. You walked quietly down the astronomy section and peaked through the shelves to find…

Your husband doing the one thing he swore he would never do to you.

Again.

Only this time, a different maid was on her knees, consuming the cum from his length. You couldn’t see her face, only her auburn tied up with a black ribbon. He had just orgasmed all over her and she sucked at his length like it was her latest chore. She was an efficient little whore.

As for your beloved husband, he pulled at her hair and grunted like the beast that he was.

Instead of letting him know you were there, you carefully walked out of the library and escaped detection. At this point, he confirmed what you should’ve kept believing: he would never change his deviant ways and if he could help it, he would continue to lie to you.

At this point, you didn’t feel the need to cry. Something inside you just turned off. The pastries that arrived in your bedroom were left uneaten. The pearls were given away to visiting royals. You would fall asleep early before Ten joined you in the bedroom. You didn’t want to confront Ten about it anymore because there was no point. Once a cheater, always a cheater, you realized. What a fool you’d been.

So what the hell were you doing? Why were you sitting here like a sorry fool waiting for him to change?

You’d received notice that Lucas was returning to Wanderlust for the first few weeks of August. Since Ten would be away on a trip to the western continent, you decided to take another respite to your family cabin. This time, your parents were going, as well.

If Ten was going to put on an act, so would you.

You laid in bed with Ten the night before he parted for the western continent.

“Darling, is there anything I can get you while I’m away? I’ve already accumulated a list but just in case…” He gave you his signature dashing smile as he pulled you closer to him.

He was an excellent actor, you had to say. But thanks to all of this time in the kingdom, you’ve also come into your own when it came to acting. “I can only think of your safe return, husband.” You kissed his lips, hating that he still had an effect on you.

You held each other for the rest of the night and you pretended, once again, that this man was faithful to you so you could sleep more peacefully. The image of seeing Lucas again helped you immensely.

————

[AUGUST 1895]

Upon your arrival to Flame, you immediately found Mint and took her to get to Wanderlust quickly. Much to the chagrin of your parents as they settled in. You didn’t tell them where you went because the less they knew, the better.

Your mother knew, though. She always did.

You could see Lucas standing by the wisteria tree, waiting for you now. You stopped Mint and Lucas already met you halfway. He got you down and before Lucas could speak, you crashed your lips into his.

Lucas was shocked at the intensity of your kiss. Three months apart drove him a little crazy but he didn’t expect this reaction from you.

“Whoa,” Lucas said as he got some air. “Where’s the fire?”

“I missed you,” you said, “I don’t plan to leave your bed for the next week.”

Lucas’ mouth almost fell to the floor. “y/n-“

“I tried, Lucas. I forgave his sorry ass and truly believed he would be faithful to me.”

“No…” He started. “He didn’t…”

“He got orally fucked in OUR library. Who knows what else this monster has been hiding?” You finally yelled out into the field, releasing all of your pent-up emotions. You really missed this field. The last time you visited, you could yell all you wanted without fear of getting judged.

Lucas clenched his fists. How he didn’t kill this man yet, he didn’t know. He took a deep breath. “Did you run away, y/n? What if he’s looking for you now?” He worried about you. Even if Ten was in the wrong, you would be punished more harshly for abandoning the king.

You shook your head. “His Majesty is on his way to the western continent to meet the King of Spades. He won’t be back for two months. A blissful two months it will be. Not to worry. I’ve already informed the palace that I have traveled to Flame with my family.”

Lucas was still concerned. You were acting out of anger. He didn’t want you to regret your actions.

“Let’s go inside and get you something to eat,” he started.

“Your parents fond of hard liquor?” You asked. “Ten never lets me drink without him. It’s annoying.”

“Maybe you should cool down first. Let’s go for a swim,” he offered.

“Is your family home?” You calmed down a little. “I hope I didn’t traumatize them with my yelling.”

Lucas shook his head. “They’ll be home in a few days. They’re visiting my stepfather’s relatives in the next town. I arrived early to surprise them.”

“Oh…” You started.

“So if you were planning on sharing a bed with me, our window is limited,” he teased.

You avoided his gaze, coming down from your anger. “Oh, no...Lucas, I’m so sorry. I came on too strong. I was so mad. I wanted to see you. I-“

Lucas kissed you and picked you up off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck. You both hummed in satisfaction.

“I missed you, too,” Lucas whispered into your ear. He put you over his back and gave you a piggyback ride into the house. You laughed as Lucas ran faster. You held him tighter, afraid you’ll lose your equilibrium and fall. It was like you weighed nothing but he held you tightly. Like you were the most precious jewel in the world.

He took you to the guest room and sat you down on the edge of the bed. This was where Lucas slept whenever he came to visit. You never slept with him in here before.

Lucas stood by the door and watched you.

You stared up at him with your eyes wide in anticipation. “Is this okay?”

Lucas nodded. “Of course, it is.”

You laid back and moved your body so that it was against the headboard. Lucas crawled over you as you moved back. It felt so carnal and wild and set your blood ablaze.

He gave you little love bites all over your breasts as you jerked him off. You then moved your lips downward and took his entire length into your mouth. You moved up and down his length and when Lucas came, you were coated in his essence. After teasing your entrance, making you cum very easily with his skillful fingers, he inserted his soaked length into your throbbing pussy. You both came together.

Lucas made sweet love to you that day. You lied in bed with each other and talked about everything and nothing. What dreams you had. What dreams changed. And you found yourself wondering…

“Do you ever think about running away?” You asked him as you kissed his hands..

”I do sometimes...You?” He pulled you closer to his naked chest.

“Yes...And now I want to more than ever,” you said.

Lucas sighed. “I would give anything to run away with you. Start a new life where no one else knows us. Where neither the Lees  or the Parks can find us.”

“That would be a dream come true,” you said.

Lucas kissed the crown of your head. “Maybe we can do it. Someday.”

You nuzzled against his shoulder. “Someday.”

For the next few days, you and Lucas made love in the stream. In the woods where he set up the perfect picnic. In the flower field a few miles up the gravel path. You had never felt more alive than you had with Lucas. He made you feel so safe and worshipped with his presence alone.

When Lucas’ family returned, you both pretended that you had just arrived so his family wouldn’t catch on to your affair. You never spent the night so as not to arouse suspicions from your parents either.

You split up your time between Lucas’ family and your own. You wished your parents could meet his family but you didn’t want to drag them deeper into your mess than you already had.

When it was time to return to the palace, you and Lucas once again parted ways, knowing that you would always have these summer memories.

Upon returning to the castle, you resumed your duties. You also kept an eye out for the maid who was in the library with Ten. The maids weren’t particularly chatty these days after word spread that you found Ten and Jade in the stables. You were still the kind “simpleton” queen but you weren’t as lenient as you used to be.

You continued your studies and addressed the needs of the townspeople. Although you weren’t particularly loved in the castle, the people of the kingdom adored you, regarding you as a breath of fresh air with the warmest heart. A recent poll was publicized that you were the best queen. And unfortunately, some of the townspeople discredited the former Queen.

Which meant she was even more hostile to you whenever you interacted.

“Don’t let a couple of commoners’ approval get to your head. You are still unworthy of your crown, child,” she said bitterly.

You came to realize that she was threatened by you and you decided to embrace it. The former queen’s words always stung but you didn’t carry them with you long after. You had more important matters to attend to.

Since Ten continued to cheat on you and you could only imagine he continued to cheat on you in another continent, you decided to have Lucas send you letters to the palace. You confided in Seulgi to always directly hand you his letters.

The months, sadly, moved too quickly. More of Lucas’ letters arrived but Ten’s return home was confirmed. The ship had departed two days ago from the western continent.

You had mentally prepared yourself for his arrival so as not to arouse suspicion from your husband. 

————

[OCTOBER 1895]

When Ten finally returned, though, your mental preparation crumbled.

“Sweetheart,” he laid a bag of scrolls down on the floor at the sight of you receiving him at the palace gates.

The time away did Ten good. His skin was tanner. He looked more vibrant than he ever had. His dark hair was sunkissed, shining a red hue in the sunlight. He probably glowed from all of the western women he slept with, you thought begrudgingly.

Ten pulled you in for a very public and very passionate kiss. In front of the guards. In front of the servants. In front of the parade of townspeople who welcomed him back. In front of his irritable mother.

“Welcome home, darling,” you croaked. He was still an incredible kisser. Your knees betrayed you, causing Ten to chuckle.

He whispered in your ear, “Prepare yourself for tonight, angel. The time apart from you has driven me mad with lust. For. You.”

You gulped. Even though you expected this. You still worried over how the night would go. What if…he could smell Lucas on you? Even if months had passed?

He was a sex fiend and with that kind of identity, he had to pick up on certain things, didn’t he?

Ten walked past you and the female servants that received him all giggled. As he kept walking, they followed him and that’s when you recognized her. Miss Oral.

She had a distinct way of tying her hair up. Her wavy auburn hair was tied up in that same black bow that was permanently painted in your mind. She walked very closely to Ten.

fYou clenched your fists, wondering if he would meet her before your “lustful” evening together. You wouldn’t be surprised if he returned to your bed and claimed he was exhausted. It wouldn’t be the first time. As king, so much was always demanded of him.

So you didn’t stay up for him. You went to sleep quickly. Ten frowned in confusion as he saw you fast asleep.

He left you for a moment. He met up with two of your most loyal servants, Seulgi and Irene, in his study. He polished one of his swords as he conversed with them.

“Any updates from Her Majesty and the bastard?” He asked.

Irene was the first to speak up. “No, Your Majesty. She has not gone to see him since August.”

He then turned to Seulgi. She replied, “They continue to exchange letters, sire. And Hendery was sent to the Park Estate per your request.” Hendery was one of Ten’s closest guards and one of his most lethal men.

Ten was beaming victoriously. “That is all. You are dismissed.”

————

Prince Lucas was summoned to the throne room to attend to a visitor from the Kingdom of Hearts. He wore his crown and a rose gold accented black suit.

He approached the gentlemen in the all-too familiar royal army’s uniform. Hendery.

“Hendery,” Lucas started, “What a pleasant surprise.”

Hendery always hated Lucas and he made Lucas know that since they first met. Lucas  was his fiercest rival when they trained together and he despised how favored Lucas was by the former king, simply because he was best friends with the crown prince. And this fool slept with the Queen behind the King’s back. It was disgraceful.

Hendery smiled arrogantly, “Can’t say the same, Your Highness. I’ve been instructed to pass this message along. From His Royal Majesty Ten Lee.”

Lucas figured this had to do with Ten if he was sending his best guard but that didn’t stun him any less. He dreaded to hear the message. “Proceed,” he said with all of the confidence he could muster.

Hendery read aloud, “Prince Lucas of the Park Estate, please refrain from writing letters to the Queen and from seeking audience with the Queen. Or I fancy setting some country homes ablaze so I can establish a new residence in Wanderlust.” Hendery had a wild look on his face at the conclusion of the message.

Lucas stood. Silent. Despondent. Concerned.

Beaming, Hendery asked, “Can I take Your Highness’s panicked look as confirmation that you accept His Majesty’s terms?”

Lucas snapped out of his panic. “Yes, but under the condition that he is true and kind to his wife. Be sure to pass that message along.”

Irritated at Lucas again, Hendery nodded. “Very well, Your Highness.”

Hendery turned to leave, but suddenly turned back, pushing his jacket back to reveal the handle of his sword.

“Oh, Lucas, and one more thing...”

—————

[DECEMBER 1895]

It’d been over two months since you sent Lucas your letter and his response was nowhere to be found. You asked Seulgi for the fifth time today if you’d received any more letters, since Ten had instructed the post office to no longer send any mail for you to your parents house.

“My apologies, Your Majesty,” she said, avoiding your gaze. She must have been worried that you would yell at her like Ten usually had.

“It’s alright. Thank you, Seulgi. You are dismissed for the evening,” you said.

Seulgi curtsied and left you. As Seulgi left, Ten entered.

“Good evening, darling. Frantic to receive a letter today?” He asked innocently.

“No, Your Majesty.”

“Your Majesty?” He laughed as he shut the door of your chambers. “We’re behind closed doors, sweetheart.”

You sat at the table beside the balcony window and watched Ten join you. His bare foot tickled yours.

“Are you feeling tired, love?” He asked softly. These days you’ve managed to find more excuses to avoid having sex with him. Especially since you’ve been quietly creeping around the castle to catch Ten in the act again. But you’ve been unsuccessful.

And actually, yes, tracking your husband for his lewd activities was exhausting.

But when he successfully seduced you, he set your progress back. Those nights when he made love to you, you nearly found yourself enamored again. Over and over and over.

But when you woke up alone the next day every time, it was just a reminder of the fact that he hid so much from you. Who he was. What he’s done. Who he’s done it with.

You replied as you laid your right foot over his prominent bulge. So he didn’t sleep with someone else right before he came to see you. How remarkable of him. “You tell me…”

Ten’s indulgent smile appeared and he got up from the table and moved to your side. He hovered over you and bent down to kiss you. You were immediately out of breath and before you could catch it again, he kissed you again. He got you up from your seat and pressed his bulge against your pelvis. Your pussy ached for his cock to greet it.

“Ride me. Right now,” Ten hissed.

You did as instructed, noticing how soaked Ten’s pants were from your essence coated with his. He wasn’t finished as he carried you to the bed and penetrated you without clothes to get in the way. You both fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Oh, Ten thought, if you always made love like this, neither of you had to think. Just be in the present with each other. No distractions. No obligations. No former best friends. Just you and him.

Meanwhile, in the back of your mind, you wondered what happened to Lucas and why he wasn’t responding to your letters.

To Be Continued in Part 2

[softestsaddestbitch]

December TC Challenge

stole this from @elder-edda (sorry for creeping! just, given the usual demographic of the tc community I was excited to find another 20-smthg)

1) what color is your tc’s hair?

He has just, simple brown hair but he’s starting to go grey which, no lie, is 100% doing it for me.

2) is your tc married?

Yes? He doesn’t wear a ring and I believe she kept her last name which makes me think it’s more of a civil partnership since they’ve been together since the early 2000s at least. But he also will refer to her as “my wife” and was telling me once that they waited until “after they got married” before moving in together.

3) if yes, do you care? would you do something with them regardless of their marriage?

I know these questions are general but I do take offense at the idea of being a homewrecker/other woman. I’ve met his wife, she’s really nice.

4) what’s your worst memory with your tc?

I put my foot in my mouth SO OFTEN. Good lord. Especially my last semester at that school? He was acting weird and I had just realized after fucking ... four years?? that I romantically liked him. So I kept bringing up my weird age fixation and other bs bc I have adhd and am possibly autistic?? and can’t read a room to save my life.

5) what’s your best memory with your tc?

One year we had a really bad snowstorm, so bad in fact that I had my first-ever snow day. The college that I used to go to has four campuses across as many cities, and C has to drive in twice a week to my (old) town from his. Now, morning classes had been canceled but afternoon classes had been given the go-ahead. C, who does not check his emails until he arrives at campus, evidently did not get this message until he was already in town and therefore didn’t have a morning class, but did have an afternoon class. On this day I had a late morning class that had been reinstated, but my prof didn’t get that memo so I also was on campus but didn’t have a class. So I went to visit his office, which I had been doing throughout the semester (I didn’t have a class with him at the time) and we just ... hung out for like 2 hours. It was so nice and one of the anecdotes he told me still haunts me lol.

sidenote: at the time, I hadn’t yet realized that I liked him, but I still went out of my way to visit him. Damn I was a dumbass.

6) does anyone in your school know how you feel?

ish? I told a classmate but in a “haha joking” kinda way. And a friend who went to that school knows. No one at my current school knows.

7) does your tc know how you feel?

I think he might? might have a lil inkling which would explain why he started acting so weird my last semester. Or at the very least was told/realized how bad it could look that he was getting so chummy w/ a student.

8) do you think there’s any chance your tc reciprocates your feelings?

He and his wife have been together for around 20 years now. No. No, I don’t think so. Maybe in an alternate universe.

9) are you getting your tc a christmas present? if so, what is it?

I have in the past! Specifically like, a tin of cookies lol. I’ve also given him an actual present when I left. I do intend to send him a Christmas card every year but not this year because ... you know ... the apocalypse.

10) have you ever flirted with your tc?

Flirtation inherently has intent. So, no. How he interpreted our interactions I don’t know.

11) how long have you had a crush on them? what began it all?

SO! TIMELINE!

I was at my old school from September 2014-April 2019, I had C for the first time in September 2015. Like I mentioned above, I did not realize I had a crush on him until literally the middle of my final exam of my class with him December 2018, so I’ve only consciously had a crush for about two years now. However, as I also mentioned, I went out of my way to stop by his office, even when I didn’t have a class with him. And my relationship with/feelings towards him are complicated so I’m not going to say I did so solely because I like him, but I would put it maybe closer to somewhere in 2017. You don’t plan your schedule around someone you don’t feel strong feelings for.

12) do you believe you’ll get over them shortly after you stop taking their class/have the chance to spend time with them?

As of today, it has been been exactly a year and a half since I last him in person. In the time since, I have cried over missing him, routinely gone back to keep up with his current research projects, and made his picture a part of my home screen. I almost exclusively listen to the playlist I made for him -  so much so my Spotify Wrapped is pretty much that playlist with a few extras.

13) what kind of grades do you get in their class?

Haaaaaa pre-supension I was failing his classes. My first semester back I got .... a mid/high 70? and I finished my last class with him with an A+ and the essay I had written for his class had the highest grade between the two classes so..

14) does your tc ever do any tiny, little things that you adore?

When he puts a hand in his pocket and leans against the wall. When he tucks his hair behind his ear because he keeps falling in his face (he has long hair, a little past his shoulders). When he can’t stop himself from googling something even if its in the middle of class. How you can ask him anything at any time. The way he would chuckle at my jokes. How his handwriting hasn’t improved in decades. How easily he brushes off toxic masculinity. His candidness and willingness to share little anecdotes. The way he used to always smile whenever he saw me. That he goes home everyday to have lunch with his wife.

15) are you their favorite student?

I was! And it was obvious to other students that we had a friendly, casual relationship too. For a time, if his other students had questions about him they would ask me, and I usually had the answer. I didn’t matter in the long run, but I was. 

16) do you two share any tastes? movies, books, music, etc.

He’s a legal historian, I’m a baby legal/political historian. We also like the same historical cooking youtube channel.

17) is your teacher religious?

I doubt he would say he’s religious, but I feel like we have a similar relationship to religion which is to say no formal association, but had profound effects on our childhoods and subsequently, presumably, how we view things as adults.

18) do you masturbate to them?

Yes.

19) do you communicate with them outside of school?

I sent him a meme once. And asked about the socialist uprising scandal he was apart of. I also almost emailed him while at a museum exhibition with my history friend. These are all through email.

20) do you have any tc songs or songs you relate to your tc? what are they?

SO my number one song this year was “You are the Reason” by Calum Scott because, you guessed it, of him. But also:

I Lost a Friend - Finneas When You’re Ready - Shawn Mendes You Are in Love - Taylor Swift Break My Heart Right - James

& given the season, especially w/ what transpired last year, Last Christmas by Wham!

21) what’s your favorite thing your tc has said/memory you have with them?

One time he kinda trailed off in the middle of lecture after stating that he thought of xyz a particular way which contrasted one of the popular schools of thought, and the way he plainly said, “well, yeah, which I guess ... is I’m arguing it” almost like he was semi-surprised with himself has always stuck with me. 

But also, in addition the memory I shared earlier, we spent an hour and a half talking about grad school and what to expect and how to get there. 

22) do you plan to continue a relationship with them after you leave school?

I trid, I really did. But he doesn’t “socialize with students part or present” so I can’t exactly see him. But I did get some academic-related from him at the beginning of the year.

23) how will you deal during the summer? will you see him/her?

He’s a hermit who used my last vacation before I moved to go on all the vacations he had to postpone because he was working on his last book. And this past summer ... Covid. This question is obviously directed at high school students, but in general, he lives in the back of head always, and when I’m in my hometown for the summer my heart aches because theres a none-zero chance I’ll see him, but I know I won’t.

24) does your tc support gay rights?

Yes. He’s never been put in a position that I know of where he had to outright condemn homophobia, but in one of his classes, he actively made the choice to make the very first reading of the semester about how women in ancient times had more agency than assumed, and also how the woman in the case study was a lesbian.

25) what class do you have with them? And what period? Do you have them every day?

History classes. I won’t get into specifics because it’s kind of an eclectic mix and I’m paranoid someone from the area could come across this. But I had him twice a week every semester that I had him. Again this kind of question is more so applicable to high school students, not so much university students.

26) have you ever drifted out during a lecture thinking about them and missed information?

No. In his classes he is too enthralling, and I’m a good student otherwise.

27) have you stalked them online? what did you find out?

In theory. He’s a fifty-year-old history professor whose reaction to a description of the big lipped/tiny face filter on snapchat was “that sounds disgusting.” The man doesn’t have social media, and if he does those privacy settings are on so students can’t find him he thinks he’s very professional. I do visit his mini-bio section on the college website fairly often tho.

28) have you ever run into them outside of schools? what happened?

I did once. He introduced me to his wife, who said “oh you’re E! C has talked about you” and it apparently he had done so positively, and blew my mind because this was back when I was failing classes and also, as a person, I don’t believe that people think about me when I’m not there. They gave me a restaurant recommendation and afterwards his wife surprised me a they were leaving the restaurant because ... we had listened to them, and they also went there for lunch that day.

29) has your tc ever spoken of teacher-student relationships? what did they say?

It had recently come out that it had been found out that another professor had been in a relationship with a student and he’s the one that brought it up before class one day (with all of us not just me). He didn’t say anything for or against it, just that it was generally discouraged, but that most schools did have policies in place to handle the situation.

30) do you regret telling anyone about your tc? if you’ve kept it a secret, why have you done so?

Absolutely not. I can’t tell my best friends because they’d do nothing but give me shit for it and it would call every time I mention him into question. But the friends that I have told ... its been so freeing, and like a weight has been lifted from my heart. One friend in particular I unloaded on her all my emotional shit pertaining to him this past summer and she was so understanding it legit since then I’ve been less distraught when thinking about him. It still hurts, but it feels less like I’m suffocating now.

[ihavethoughtsplural]

Blood and Chocolate: An Adaptation in Name Only

Previously: Section 0 - Introduction

Section 1 – The Book

Preface: The 1997 novel Blood and Chocolate is DENSE.  The paperback only spans 264 pages, but the story follows the coming of age of a dynamic and flawed female protagonist, encompasses ancient werewolf legends and laws, goes in depth into lycanthropic politics, and also features a love triangle, a teenage soap opera, a forbidden romance, and a goddamned murder mystery.

Summary: Vivian Gandillon is a 15-year-old werewolf.  A year after her father was killed in the fire that destroyed their home, Vivian is lost and grieving while her leaderless pack falls apart in the Maryland suburbs that they fled to.  Aiden, a tall, gentle human classmate attracts her attention and presents Vivian an escape from the tangled, animalistic world of werewolves.  Keeping her lycanthropy secret, Vivian begins to date Aiden, defying the laws of her people.   Vivian is pressured to break things off by her mother, her five delinquent age-mates, and the would-be leader, Gabriel. Gabriel, a 24 year-old welder, is attractive, intimidating and the object of intense romantic competition.  He, more than any other, tries to convince Vivian that her dalliance with a human is dangerous, eventually revealing that he speaks from painful personal experience. The story twists and turns, tearing Vivian and Aiden apart while pulling Vivian and Gabriel together.  In the end, through many trials, Vivian discovers that she can’t escape either her human or her animal nature, and must embrace both.  

Themes: Vivian’s central character arc finds her struggling with what she wants as opposed to what she needs.  At the opening of the novel, Vivian wants to escape the violent chaos of her pack, with its painful history and uncertain future. She finds that escape in Aiden, with his Beaver Cleaver family, his lovably quirky friends, and his sweetness and simplicity.   However, when the time comes to reveal the hidden aspects of her identity, Aiden can’t handle it.  Despite his supernatural curiosity, he cannot accept the supernatural when it presents itself to him.  His rejection sends Vivian into a tailspin of self-destruction that only ends when she accepts the love that Gabriel is offering, a love that honors all of what she is.  To ultimately find happiness, Vivian had to give up what she wanted and embrace what she needed. In addition to this, there is also a great deal of time in the novel spent contrasting the human and the animal sides of Vivian’s nature.  Her two suitors Aiden and Gabriel represent, respectively, the human and the animal. Scenes of Vivian socializing with Aiden and his human friends are juxtaposed with scenes of Vivian’s werewolf pack brutally vying for dominance.  The very title of the book is a reference to this dichotomy, Blood – representing Vivian’s animal desires, and Chocolate – representing Vivian’s human longings.   Throughout the novel, Vivian swings between these two extremes, at one point drinking herself into a heartbroken stupor over Aiden, then blacking out and waking up in her bed next to a severed hand. She tries, in her romance with Aiden, to balance her human and animal sides, but she only achieves that balance with Gabriel, a partner who also exists in the grey area between man and beast.

Highs: These are the aspects of the novel have captivated my imagination and kept this book in my collection for so long.

o   Werewolf Society:  It’s a damn shame that Klause hasn’t written more stories within this framework, because it is absolutely ripe for exploration and development.  The enormous potential here is one of the primary reasons why this book has held my fascination for so long and why I have written so much (published and unpublished) fanfiction for it.

o   Flawed Characters: No one who’s read the book will tell you that Vivian is perfect or even likeable 100% of the time, but it fits with her characterization as a grieving, lost teenager and serves to make her all the more like an actual person.  Most of the characters are like that, with their good qualities balanced or sometimes overwhelmed by their less savory sides.  It makes the fictional world feel richer and more realistic, despite the supernatural elements.

o   Consequences: The characters in this novel make real, awful mistakes, and they face lasting consequences for them.  One of Vivian’s mistakes – maiming Astrid while defending her mother, directly leads to Vivian’s ex, Rafe, getting sucked into Astrid’s revenge plot, leading to Vivian being framed for murder and the eventual executions of both Rafe and Astrid, during which Vivian is accidentally shot by Aiden.  

CONSEQUENCES!   They make the story more believable, more suspenseful, and this novel, with its cast of flawed characters, would not have worked without them.

o   Assertive Female Protagonist: Vivian is refreshingly frank about her desires, which is very noticeable in her courtship with Aiden.  Aiden assumes that he has to advance their physical relationship slowly so as to not frighten or offend Vivian, while Vivian urges him on.  She doesn’t hesitate when going after what she wants, and she’s not ashamed of her sexuality.  It’s a welcome change from the restrictions that western society places on female desire, and I’d like to see more characters like her.

Lows:  Blood and Chocolate is far from perfect, but, in my opinion, there are three glaring flaws in this book, and I would be remiss if I didn’t address them.

o   The Esme Question: The first point is one that, once seen, cannot be unseen. Vivian’s mother, Esme, is one of the women competing for Gabriel’s affections at the beginning of the novel.  It is established that they go on dates (“Saw your mother go into Tooley’s bar with Gabriel last night.” p. 18), but Klause is not explicit about how far their relationship has gone.  This ambiguity leaves open a potentially disturbing possibility:  

It is canonically possible that Gabriel had a sexual relationship with Esme and then moved on to sexually pursue her daughter, Vivian.

Personally, I can reasonably believe that Gabriel and Esme never progressed beyond idle flirting because:

a.       Vivian strikes me as the type of person who would mark her mother’s sexual partners as “off limits”.

b.       Up until just past the Ordeal scene, both Esme and Astrid are still fighting over Gabriel, implying that neither of them had really “won” him.  

c.       The possibility outlined above seems like it would be a bridge too far to be included in a YA novel, especially in the 90′s.  

Your mileage may vary.  I’ve seen reviews of the book whose negative ratings hinge on the fact that Gabriel dated Esme at all, irrespective of whether their relationship was sexual or not.  Honestly?  I can’t blame them.  If the mere existence of this possibility squicks you out, then it’s likely going to sour the ending and ruin the rest of the book for you.

o   The Age Differences: The second point is the least defensible. At the end of the novel, Vivian is 16 and Gabriel is 24.  That minor/adult 8 year age gap constitutes a “yikes” in my part of the world.  Klause skirts this by establishing that werewolf society has some stark differences with human society, namely that a 16 year old female is considered an adult by werewolf law.  This is still a rather uncomfortable detail to be included in an American YA novel, and the older I get, the more uncomfortable it becomes.

In addition to the Vivian/Gabriel age gap, there is the even wider Astrid/Rafe age gap. Rafe is Vivian’s ex and age mate, although there are reasons to assume that he is slightly older than her.  This places him somewhere in a probable 16-18 age range. He is canonically younger than 21, which makes him, according to werewolf law, not yet an adult.  Astrid has a son who is also Vivian’s age, which places Astrid somewhere in her late 30’s to mid 40’s.  In the book, Astrid and Rafe have a sexual relationship.

To be fair to Klause, this is framed in the novel as being toxic and ultimately destructive to both Astrid and Rafe.  Near the end of the story, Rafe finally realizes that Astrid has been taking advantage of him, turning Rafe, in my opinion, into a tragic victim of manipulation.  

Let me leave this segment with a PSA:

If you’re reading this and you’re underage, please don’t enter into a “relationship” with an adult.  The adults in these scenarios in the real world are predators, and they’re preying on your inexperience and naïveté.  They know that you probably won’t recognize relationship red flags and they think they can pressure you into doing unsafe and unhealthy things in the name of “love”. Stay safe, kids!

o   Sexual Harassment:   My third and final low point is one that I have very mixed feelings about.  As a result, this is the longest segment of this post, so strap in. In the novel, many of the interactions between Vivian and male characters are inappropriately sexual.  The most egregious offenders are the Five, Gabriel, and Aiden’s father. The Five, Vivian’s male werewolf peers, are crass, rude and arrogant.  Led by Rafe, they display a lot of entitlement for Vivian’s affections.  The most pointed (and gross) of these displays happens on p.41:

“You’re not Princess Wolf now,” Rafe growled behind her.  “Wait too long and we’ll take what we want.” 

That?  Yeah, that’s a direct rape threat!  Rafe also goes on to grope Vivian at her birthday party.  He’s a peach!   Gabriel’s harassment mostly takes the form of unwanted advances.  It peaks after the Ordeal, the battle royale where Vivian accidentally wins the right to be Gabriel’s mate.  In the aftermath, Gabriel corners Vivian in her kitchen, forces a non-consensual kiss on her and declares his intentions to court her.   Aiden’s father is notable in the contrast he provides.  Vivian only interacts with him once, when Aiden invites her to a family cookout. During this scene, he repeatedly leers at her, makes suggestive comments and on p. 79:

Vivian could hear the innuendo in Mr. Teague’s voice.  It made her skin crawl.

However, if you compare Mr. Teague’s harassment to Gabriel, the Five and others, you’ll find that there is a significant difference in Vivian’s reaction.  Vivian isn’t afraid to bite back at the Five’s harassment – scoring vivid revenge for Rafe’s groping when she injures his genitals.  She tries to do the same to Gabriel when he forces a kiss on her, but he relents on his own.   We see a similar dynamic when Esme snaps at Bucky, another male werewolf, who catcalls her in a bar.  This forms a pattern which suggests that forceful sexuality is a feature of werewolf culture.  Vivian confirms this the first time that she and Aiden kiss on p. 51:

“He was gentle.  She hadn’t expected that.  Kisses to her were a tight clutch, teeth, and tongue.”

And this is where my mixed feelings come in. I don’t condone the harassment that Vivian experiences, but I understand why Klause wrote it.  Any author writing inhuman characters can’t simply tell us that they are inhuman, they have to show it.  The forceful sexuality of the werewolf characters in this book is one way that Klause clearly shows that they are NOT human and serves as a contrast to the human characters.   But where does Aiden’s dad fit into this?  His harassment is milder than the Five’s or Gabriel’s, but it disgusts Vivian in a way that the other harassment didn’t.  Why?  Sexual harassment seems to be a constant feature of her pack life.  This isn’t even the only time that an older man leers at her – on p. 115, in the same scene where Esme gets catcalled:

Some of those male eyes strayed to Vivian, too, and she preened at the thought of being a threat.

That’s a far cry from the skin-crawling disgust she felt with Mr. Teague, but it’s basically the same offense.  What’s different?  We find it in a conversation with him on p. 74:

“I would think a girl like you would go out with someone older.” He winked at Vivian. Like someone your age?  Vivian thought, repelled by the man’s lack of loyalty to his son.

Vivian’s disgust stems from the fact that the man flirting with her is her boyfriend’s father.  She’s shown to welcome sexual attention from other older men, and she has no problems handling more overt harassment, but the paternal disloyalty sickens her. The overt sexual harassment is there, and if it makes it impossible for you to enjoy the book, I don’t blame you.  Your feelings are valid, and I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong.  Personally, I understand the authorial reasoning behind its inclusion, and its utility as a characterization tool, so it doesn’t prevent me from enjoying the story. Your mileage may vary.

Verdict: The 1997 novel Blood and Chocolate is flawed, but fascinating.  It sets multifaceted characters into a tantalizing world of men and monsters, where the line between good and evil is blurred into nonexistence.  It is, despite its problematic elements, my favorite book.

Next: Section 2 - Adaptation Challenges

[coffeecomicsgalore]

Unveiled Love

@smutember

Ao3

Chapter 17 – Roleplay 

Marinette paced across their living room while Adrien sat on the couch, his head clenched between his hands as his elbows rested on his knees. His head was down, his eyes darting across the floor space between his feet. Marinette was nearly silent while her bottom lip clenched between her teeth, but every so often, she would stop pacing and start mumbling as a thought crossed her mind. Adrien would look up to listen to her when she did that, but Marinette would just purse her lips and continue her pace, neglecting the somber look on his face.

The low murmur of the television was playing in the background, and the kwamis were watching the news and waiting for the gossip section to begin. Twitter had already blown up with the highlight of the year a few hours earlier, and Marinette was none the wiser while she was in the middle of attending classes for the day.

Adrien had tried to call her, even hiding in plain sight high above the rooftops while waiting for Marinette to emerge from her class. While she was blissfully unaware, a sudden Twitter ping caused a sharp scoff from one of Marinette’s freshman classmates, and as the teacher began to question the disruption, Marinette was ultimately blindsided when the sneering comments of being a gold digger flooded the room.

Marinette, of course, had been mortified of the accusations, finding any way to stop the rumors while simultaneously keeping her anxiety in check. Her teacher had allowed her to leave for the afternoon when the students chose to continue their taunting instead of listening to the lecture. Marinette quickly packed up her things and ran out of the room, trying to find a way to hide from the world.

Chat Noir had noticed his fiancé running out of the building. She was pale and frazzled, and he quickly swept her up into his arms as if an akuma was in the process of flying towards her. Hopping over to the top of a secluded rooftop a few streets away, Chat wrapped his arms around her trembling body, allowing her to cry into his shoulder until the sobbing passed.

When they finally got home, Marinette and Adrien began to think of the next steps, spending most of the afternoon handling phone calls from her distraught and angry parents, their high school friends reaching out to see if it was true, and Nathalie arriving with tablet in hand for Gabriel to give them a piece of his mind.

There was one text message they were waiting to hear from, and when it came, it was a simple three word sentence that made Marinette’s throat dry.

“Care to explain?”

Marinette wasn’t sure if the message was in anger or if Alya was frustrated and waiting to hear her side of the story, but seeing those words haunted her. She should have said something in the beginning, explaining their secret relationship to their families and friends. But here they were, frantically trying to handle the repercussions of their stupidity, and they were having to deal with this all on their own.

Having that support would have been nice at that moment, especially if the gossip column was going to make this a bigger deal than it really was.

“Hey guys?” Plagg called out their wielders, pointing to the television when the segment came on. Marinette walked to the couch to sit beside Adrien, her hands trembling again with what was to come.

There it was, a slightly blurry photo of Adrien and Marinette sitting side-by-side on a date at a cafe with the headline on a white background and thick black font: Gabriel Interim CEO in Secret Relationship with Aspiring Fashion Designer – Amazing Love Story? Or Gold Digger Climbing to the Top?

It was as if the wind was completely knocked out of her. The worst thing that could possibly happen as her business was taking off was to be labeled as a slut, sleeping her way into the fashion world without swimming through the fashion sharks that were ready to tear her down.

She could feel the fear of losing everything she worked so hard to achieve. The tears started to fall as she stared at the screen, barely making out the words the news anchor was saying about the whole situation. Adrien wrapped his arm around her shoulder, kissing her temple as he ran soothing circles on her back to calm her down.

While Adrien was a shoe in to take over his father’s company, a scandal like this would surely tank sales, leading to a third quarter fallout and making Gabriel look like a laughingstock amongst the fashion moguls. Given that Adrien’s secret relationship could do damage instead of increasing sales, Gabriel had already thrown the task of making him repair the damage as payback.

You think you can undermine me and make a mockery of what Gabriel stands for? Well, for one, I won’t be there to help you repair this damage you’ve created. Either fix it or resign; and I suggest you fix it or else your girlfriend will be blacklisted from ever making a name for herself.

Adrien seethed as he thought over the words, but a knock brought his mind back to where they were. Marinette looked up and rubbed her eyes, giving Adrien the silent confirmation that she needed to be the one to answer the door.

Letting out an anxious sigh, Marinette stood up and walked to the doorway, opening it up to see Alya and Nino standing cautiously behind it.

“Hey.” Marinette said softly.

“Hey.” Alya echoed.

“C- come in.” 

Nino and Alya slowly walked into the apartment, her fingers intertwining and clenching in nervousness. Marinette could see that she wanted to be mad - wanted to be angry - but the journalistic side of her would always ask questions first before making her decision.

The couple stood awkwardly as they noticed Adrien on the couch, and Nino cleared his throat as he decided to leave the girls alone to talk amongst themselves. He and Adrien had already talked it out on the phone after the first Twitter post was launched, so they made their way to Adrien’s bedroom to get out of their hair.

Marinette and Alya watched the boys leave the room, then both stared at the floor, unsure of where to begin.

“I’m sorry.” Marinette finally stated. A slight tremor could be heard in her voice. Alya looked up and waited to see what she was going to say.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys about us. I’m sorry that I kept this secret from you. I’m sorry that I’m an idiot and should have thought with my head instead of my libido.” Alya smirked, but looked away before she chuckled. She was technically supposed to be mad. “We couldn’t tell anyone about our relationship, or at least, we thought we shouldn’t. The last thing we wanted was to expose this to the world, where being called a gold digger would only kill my prospects into the fashion world-”

The news of the secret relationship replayed again on the television, and Marinette turned away to pretend it wasn’t there. She ran her hand through her hair, then wiped the tear streaks from her cheeks as they began to fall once again. 

“-yet here I am, being called a slut and a groveler, sleeping my way to the top of the corporate ladder, his father hates us and told Adrien that he needs to fix it or resign, and my parents are so furious that I could hear my papa crying on the other end of the phone.”

Alya watched Marinette as she curled into herself, the tears of guilt falling uncontrollably. Alya looked at her with a somber expression, knowing full well that the bluenette didn’t deserve the callous defamation she was receiving. She had always loved that boy with every fiber of her being, yet the media was disgusting in the way they were acting to help increase their views.

The brunette walked up to Marinette and wrapped her arms around her tightly, waiting until the sobs slowed down. Once it did, Alya sighed.

“Listen. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to be so angry with how you kept this from me, from Nino, and from your family. But I get it. I get how the media is. I understand how the system works. They want to take anything and make it a thousand times worse than it really is.”

Alya began to rub soothing circles up and down her arm, helping calm Marinette down a little further.

“Luckily, you have a girl who works on the inside who can help you. All we need to do is work together and we can turn this around and show the world who you truly are.”

Marinette sniffled as she looked up to her best friend, a slight smile of relief and happiness curled on her lips.

“Are you mad?”

Alya shook her head. “No. I’m not mad. Slightly salty, but not mad. I get why you did it. This is what you were afraid of. But no worries girl; you have a slew of people behind you to help get you through it.”

“Thank, Alya. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

The girls hugged each other tightly before finally pulling away from one another. 

Alya grinned. “I know how we can repair this little speedbump of our friendship.”

“And what’s that?” Marinette asked curiously, narrowing her eyes.

“Make me your maid of honor and let me see that ring!”

----

“Hey.” Adrien turned to her as they closed the door. Alya and Nino had left after hatching their plan of attack, and they were finally alone again.

“Hey, kitty.”

“You okay?”

Marinette nodded and she let out a sniffle and Adrien wrapped his arms around Marinette. He kissed the top of her head.  They stood like that for a little while before he let out a smirk as he thought of something lewd crossed his mind, then decided that maybe Marinette needed a way to get her mind off of everything that was going on.

“Do you think you’re up for a little fun, bug? Something to get your mind off of the shitastic day we’ve had?”

Marinette hummed. “Honestly... I’m kind of tired.”

Chat sighed and relented, but Marinette looked up at him and gave him a questioning look. She let out a sigh of her own before looking back at him to ask what he had up his sleeve.

“Alright, what is it?”

“Well… I was thinking of a little roleplay? Maybe a game of cat and mouse across the rooftops? It gets you away from being Marinette for a bit, while also getting a break from being Ladybug.” Adrien bent down and whispered to the shell of her ear. “And maybe if this kitty catches the mouse, he could maybe have the mouse for a snack?”

Marinette pulled back and gave him a seductive smirk.

“Then I guess Multimouse needs to make an appearance.”

[feuilly-cakes]

Twilight - review

I'm now revealing myself to be twilight trash, but let's talk about it! In this review you'll find the good, the bad, and the ugly (in list form even!) I know this story like the back of my hand, and this is a reread, so although I've only read this particular book once before, I can't be unbiased here. I am a more critical reader now than I was at 14 though, so hopefully this review counts for something. There will be a warning before the section with the spoilers if you haven't yet given in to the curiosity.

I loved it. I gave it 4*. I also found certain parts offensive. Some parts were very funny, and others just as dramatic as you'd expect from a book published for teens in 2005. The love story was, dare I say it, good. It's an enemies to friends to lovers, with a very quick progression on those last two. Both Bella and Edward acted just like regular teens around each other, and if there wasn't a vampire aspect involved it wouldn't have been criticised too heavily on the relationship front. I pretty much sped through the book, even with life getting in the way and pausing every 5 minutes to stick annotation tabs in. We are given a good amount of information about vampires, the history of the characters, and also the kinds of people these characters are. Aside from the offensive/insensitive parts, the entirety of which I will be listing below as I picked up on them, there are only a few moments of genuine real life creepiness not related to the Port Angeles scene right up until the epilogue, which made me very uncomfortable for reasons I shall be explaining. As a random note, I noticed 9 obvious instances of foreshadowing. She must have known where she was going with this series, or else that was a strange coincidence. The rest of this review will contain spoilers Let's begin with how this differs from the movie, since pretty much everyone has seen the movie. First and foremost, there are the characters - Bella and Edward specifically. Bella in this book is a typical teenager with a strong personality. As a child she had tantrums over going to Forks, saying she 'hadn't made a secret of [her] distaste for Forks.' She has a fierce temper, but she is also kind, frowning upon Jessica Stanley's judgement of Esme for adopting kids because she can't have any biologically. She's not vain but she cares about her looks, fussing over her skin being paler once she got to Forks - 'My skin could be pretty' 'I had no color here.' Sarcasm is her thing, and she despairs that none of her new classmates seem to get her sense of humour. She's friendly though an introvert, smiling and waving at everyone who greets her after a week of school while not knowing all of their names. She loves girls nights, and finds being around other girls 'invigorating'. She's independent and won't let Edward question that: "No, she did not send me here. I sent myself." However, she notices she has a very strong crush on Edward that is almost obsessive and finds it 'pitiful' and 'pathetic'. At least she's self aware. 

Bella is very funny at times, especially when referencing her clumsiness (I won't spoil this because humour should never be spoiled). Bella is very smart and resourceful, but not in the obvious way. Schoolwork is a breeze for her because she's done most of it at her old school, but she's smart in other ways. It's Bella who figures out about Edward's mind reading abilities and questions him about it, and who flirts with Jacob Black to get information about the Cullens and why they aren't allowed on the reservation. It's Bella who tells Edward that men and women should be equal or as close to equal as they can, each saving each other the same amount of times. It's also Bella who feels that Mike Newton understands her, because they both were new in Forks at one point, and both lived in sunny places and probably both experienced the chain link fences and metal detectors that Bella was shocked were not at Forks High School. (Personally that threw me for a loop too, that schools could have metal detectors.) Edward is closer to the movie characterisation, but acts more like a typical teenage boy. He's moody but charming, awkward at times but also mischievous. At one point he cuts Bella off in the school car park and then deliberately stops his car to wait for his siblings, causing a queue behind them and giving Tyler Crowley the opportunity to ask her to the dance. He does all this to anger Bella, and it was absolutely hilarious. He flip flops between cheerful and broody, and finds Bella utterly fascinating. He is constantly relearning boundaries and ways to make Bella and himself feel more comfortable. An interesting aspect of his character that was definitely unintentional and handled poorly was the way he was coded as demi-sexual. He states that he has never wanted anyone before Bella, and his adoptive mother Esme thought there was something missing in him. As this is offensive I'll be bringing it up again later. Back to some positives, he likes to sing under his breath in a very fast speed that looks like his lips are trembling, and finds the heat of Bella's hands very pleasant. I thought this was cute, and I had to tab it for future reference. A not so cute thing is how he can 'dazzle' Bella by being close to her face and breathing on her. She describes this as her mind going blank, after which we see her agree to whatever he says while she is in this state. It's a bit creepy but he doesn't take advantage of it at first after being made aware of it, he only does so towards the end, which we shall get into later. He also hears the minds of others as a background hum that he can then focus in on, which I found interesting. Now, onto actual plot things that differed, we have Bella never buying that book on Quileute legends, instead simply flirting with a 15 year old Jacob to get his information and then combining that with a google search, and coming to her conclusions that way. Next, we have the Volturi being mentioned but not by name, firstly on vampires a-z in the section: 'Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires.' and then in a scene that wasn't a part of the film at all, wherein Edward and Bella are in Carlisle's office, talking about his history, and they are brought up simply as Carlisle's artistic friends from Italy. They are named but the word Volturi is nowhere in this book. In a similar vein, several backstories are revealed in this book that we didn't really get to see until later in the series. Bella gets some meaningful interactions with Jasper, who actually sits next to her and touches her to calm her down in the hotel. It's also implied somewhere in those chapters that Alice possibly knew about Bella planning to sneak off and let her go anyway. Finally, Bella is awake after the venom gets sucked out. This is important because she tells them that the venom is gone and thanks Edward before passing out. She was awake and aware the whole time, though in incredible pain. Another difference happens but I'll be discussing that with the other creepy things. Next, I would like to discuss a few things we learn about Vampires. Did you know that despite their physical perfection, a hungry vampire looks like they are recovering from a nose job? The bruises are very prominent, and likely not pretty to look at. Did you also know that they a venomous in the true sense of the word? Alice tells Bella that the venom is to incapacitate victims with the pain, and becoming a vampire is just a side effect, not the true function of the venom. The pain is there for a reason, and that reason is to torture victims with the burning sensation so they can't get away. These vampires may sparkle, but they aren't cute. I will never get the image of snake fangs out of my mind in conjunction to twilight vampires. Am I the only one who didn't realise the inherent creepiness of that because there's no mention of it in the films? Alright, now onto the offensive/ creepy stuff. I'll be bullet pointing these with elaboration where needed. -Bella refers to herself as an albino simply because she is pale. This one just didn't sit right with me, for reasons I can't explain. Stick with me here, it gets worse. -A casual comment about suicide: 'I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose.' This one is tricky, because everyone has made jokes like that, but it made me personally uncomfortable and didn't need to be in there considering the tone of the rest of the book. -Upon Edward talking to her again after the car park incident, Bella says this: "Do you have multiple personality disorder?" This needs no elaboration. Buckle up, it gets worse. -Jacob. He tells Bella his people's legends after she flirts with him, all the while telling her he didn't believe them himself. Then he asks her: "So do you believe we're a bunch of superstitious natives or what?" As someone who is not native american, I can't give a personal perspective here, but I don't believe this is something she should have had a native character say. Stephenie Meyer is a white woman and had no place essentially calling the people she culturally appropriated a bunch of superstitious natives. It was jarring to read that line knowing that it's not her culture and she has no right to say that, only someone from the culture has the right to say that. As I said, I'm not native american and I haven't looked deeply into what exactly she stole and changed, but I know she did it, so that can of course be a pretty major offence to many people. -She compares her clumsiness to being 'almost disabled'. Gross. -The watching her while she sleeps thing. Let's talk about it. She guesses he's been spying on her when he knows where the key is after the meadow date, and he says he's been watching her sleep. It's undoubtedly creepy, but Bella isn't concerned about that. Oh no, she's concerned about what he heard while she was sleep talking. She actually seems unbothered by the stalking aspect, which is why I think these actions flew under the radar for so many people. If Bella thinks it's fine then it must be fine, right? This should have been handled differently. -The Aphobia. Edward tells Bella that Esme was 'afraid that there was something missing from [his] essential makeup'. This is really harmful, but it wasn't intentional. I have no doubt that Stephenie Meyer had no clue and perhaps still has no clue that asexuality is a thing and that she accidentally made Edward demisexual, by simple fact of him being interested in no one before Bella. Nonetheless, it needs to be warned for. -There are heavy implications of p*dophilia here, by choice of language. Regarding Bella's class, full of people her age. Edward calls them a 'class full of children' then on the next page calls Bella 'an insignificant little girl' and then a few chapters down he calls jacob a 'child' to which Bella responds that he is not much younger than she is and Edward cheerfully replies that he knows. It's beyond creepy and I wish it wasn't there, because if it had gone the opposite way of Edward making old man jokes it could have been funny and not horrifying to think about. -Lastly though not leastly, the epilogue. All throughout the book Bella has under no circumstances wanted to go to prom. She is tricked into going to prom. Alice sees the future, Edward reads minds, they knew she wouldn't want to go but bamboozled her into going anyway, and when she starts shouting and crying, Edwards tells her "Don't be difficult". This is creepy and horrifying, that they are taking away her agency and treating her like a child when she tries to refuse. Although she goes and has a goodish time, it still wasn't right to force her into that position. Thus concludes this review, and I leave you with the knowledge that if you read this you get to see the part where Charlie Swan tells Bella that Carlisle Cullen is very attractive. Good day.

[boymeetsweevil]

Another draft because FS is taking too long

Title: two wrongs don’t make a right (so what do two douchebags and a dweeb make?)

Douche/fuck boy Jimin and Jin, weirdo!OC

Jimin waits until the girl’s tiny frame disappears down the hallway in a blur of overly familiar stained sweats before turning to stare down a very sheepish looking Jin.

“You can’t tell anyone about this, got it?” He rakes a hand through his hair, mussing it and making him resemble a cockatoo.

“Dude, relax. I get it, you have a rep to maintain. Everyone ventures outside their type for a first time.”

Jin winces. He knows he’s known for being incredibly picky—only ever sleeping with 4.0 girls (the number referring to their maximum dress size and minimum GPA). Someone even did a story on it in the Hot Takes section of the school magazine. He’s still not sure if it’s a moment he should proud of.

“About that…” he trails off and tugs nervously at the throw blanket he hastily clothed himself with when Jimin burst into their shared living room only to catch him in a rather compromising position. With that girl of all people.

“What?”

“Itsnotthefirsttimeanditwontbethelast”

Jimin blinks slowly, trying to process the flurry of words and Jin’s ashamed tone. When what Jin said finally hits him, he grins darkly.

“Man, c’mon. Don’t joke like that about her, its not nice.”

“Jimin, I’m—,” Jin looks around the hallway suspiciously before dragging Jimin into the dorm and slamming the door shut. “I’m being serious, okay?” Jimin’s jaw drops and he begins to sputter.

“But…why her?”

The first time Jimin encountered you was during a particularly late night in the stacks of the library last semester. The year was starting off hard and he was getting his ass kicked in one particular introductory psych class.

At around 1 in the morning, he had one more problem to finish on his take-home exam but was desperately stuck. He remembered seeing someone who he recognized from class sitting in the economics section. He thought it was odd initially. Usually no one sat there because the smell from the librarians’ bathroom often carried over. And no one wanted to study to the smell of coffee shits.

Taking a break, he grabbed his laptop and wandered around the stacks to find the classmate. When he found you, you were in the process of packing up, struggling to get your earphones into the headphone jack of your phone while also carrying a stack of periodicals and a burger from the campus grill, which happened to be leaking ketchup onto your already dingy tracksuit. He approached you carefully.

“Hey, you’re in Professor Kang’s class, right?”

“Huh?”

His voice startled you and you lost your precarious grip on your stuff. The poorly wrapped burger fell to the floor and bled a little onto your white converse. The periodicals fluttered down around your feet.

“Shit, sorry. Lemme help you,” he offered as he put his laptop down. You gasped from your spot already crouched on the ground.

“No, please, it’s really okay. Please, I’m fine, I don’t need—“

But he already had one printout from the stack in his hand and automatically turned it over. When Jimin looks back on the memory, he thinks that this may have been the biggest mistake he’s ever made in his life.

He would later find out after a nervous google search that the paper in his hand, and probably 80 percent of the papers on the ground, were called fursonas. While a handful might have been somewhat decent, most of them were of overly buff rabbits with bubble butts raised for the viewer or tigers fisting weeping, veiny dicks over pastel backgrounds. The one he held was of a duck, or something, with a weight lifter’s body with an obscene expression on its face while tentacles swarmed it from all angles. The implications of what might be happening in the picture made Jimin’s head hurt.

“Oh my god, what the fuck. What the fuck,” he whispered. He was so stunned that he let you rip the page from his hand.

“It’s called fur-centric hentai and its art,” you hissed. The line sounded mechanical and well-practiced if you asked Jimin. He watched you gather the rest of your belongings quickly, burger included, before leaving him crouched in the economics stacks.

Jin snaps his fingers in front of Jimin’s zoned out face only to have him be brought back to reality with a look of slight disgust.

“What’s your problem, fix your face,” Jin snapped.

“I’m just trying to figure out why you chose her, of all people. You remember that story I told you about the Econ stacks. I was so scarred, I got a C on that test.”

“Pretty sure you got a C because you didn’t realize there was a second page of the homework.”

“Well, if she hadn’t thrown her weird animal dicks all over the place, I would have realized there was a back and finished the assignment”

Jin sniffs and drops the blanket he was wearing, before walking over to the kitchen to get a drink, naked as the day he was born. Jimin follows on autopilot.

“Maybe you should stop trying to yuck my yum,”Jin says over his shoulder.

“Oh my god, don’t say it like that. I’m just saying, man. She’s weird. And gross. And more importantly not.Your. Type.” He enunciates each word with a poke to Jin’s bare back while he gets them some beers.

“You think I don’t fucking know that? That’s why I keep it discrete. Why do you think I told you not to come home every Tuesday and Thursday at until after 8:30?”

“You said you had lab.”

“How the hell could I do a lab in our apartment?”

“It…It could happen.”

“I’m a poetry major,” Jin pinches the bridge of his nose at his roommate’s stupidity, “Damnit Jimin.”

Jimin purses his lips when he realizes he might be even dumber than he thought.

“Wait a second, you’ve had lab,” he makes giant air quote gestures, “for, what, 2 months now? You’ve just been fucking her this whole time?”

There’s a beat of silence as Jin takes another swig from his beer. “Yeah,” he finally says. The matter of fact air of his response makes something glitch in Jimin’s brain.

“What the hell, dude? That’s a lot of repeat service. Does she have something on you? Is that why you’re doing this? Did you break an expensive-ass vase or something?” Jimin stops to think, his mind running wild with possibilities. “Holy shit, are you being pimped out?”

“No. God, would you just shut up?” Jin sighs quietly. “I’m sleeping with her so much because she’s the best I’ve ever had.”

Jimin takes a step back at the defeated sincerity in Jin’s tone.

“How? What about that time with that other girl--what was her name?” Jimin runs a hand through his hair trying to remember any name of one of many the girls Jin has had a fling with. “Oh! Irene or something? What about her?”

“I mean, Irene was fine. She gave pretty good head. But last Thursday I thought I came harder than I’ve ever come in my entire life.”

“You ‘thought’?”

Jin looks up wistfully somewhere behind Jimin’s head at the memory. “Well then she came over the following Tuesday and rocked my shit,” he smirks. “And then that was the hardest I’ve ever come in my life.”

“So she gives good head. Who cares? There’s plenty of girls on campus who give good head and also don’t draw furry porn for a living and wash their damn sweatpants.”

“You don’t understand, dude. It’s not just the head. It’s the head, and the handjobs, and the pussy. It’s everything.”

Jimin raises his eyebrows incredulously. “The pussy is better than the handjobs?” He has to try hard not to look impressed. Meanwhile Jin is smilng, almost relieved now that the secret is out and he can talk openly about the mindblowing sex he’d been having.

“The first time she jerked me off, I passed out immediately after I came and woke up late to the class the next afternoon.”

Jimin narrows his eyes but motions with a hand for Jin to continue.

“The first time she blew me I couldn’t even walk afterward.”

“Wait...was that the day you told me you thought you had a sprained ankle? The one that healed after 24 hours?”

“Yep.”

The smug tone and the second stupid lie make Jimin want to rip his hair out. “Why do you lie so much,” he whispered, pain in his voice.

“I wasn’t lying, I really thought I had a sprained ankle.”

“From a blowjob?”

“That’s what I said.”

“What about the, uh, the pussy,” Jimin asks after realizing the FBI probably won’t come through the doors and snipe him for talking about vagina.

“The one time she let me hit it raw, I cried.,” Jin says, absolutely beaming.

“Oh, come on. You can’t be serious.”

“I am, though. I think she was gonna let me do it again today.” Jin closes his eyes and smiles softly while Jimin looks on, unamused.

“So? What happened today? She underperform or something?” There’s a hint of jealousy and a lot of curiosity in his tone, but Jimin would deny it if anyone asked him.

“No, asswipe. She got spooked because you showed up when you weren’t supposed to.”

“Well, sorry for ruining your lies,” Jimin snaps, cracking open his own beer.

“You think this is a joke?” Jin shoves Jimin in the chest roughly. “We didn’t get to finish because of you. Now I have to jerk off with my own hand. That’s pathetic”

“And what were you doing before you met her? Listen to yourself, she’s making you crazy. No one is that good in bed.”

Jin stomps over to the couch and settles down before turning and looking at Jimin over the backboard.

“You know what? You go and sleep with her 3--no--4 times. And if she doesn’t completely fry your brain, I’ll pay for any and all of your takeout for the next month. But If she does, you gotta switch mattresses with me and not come by the dorm until after 10 on Tuesdays and Thursdays from then on.”

“Dude, gross I don’t want your sex soaked mattress. It’s the same as yours anyway. Minus the ten gallons of old jizz on it.”

“No, it’s not. You have that, like, Tempurpedic thing.”

“True,” Jimin nods thoughtfully, “But don’t you think it would be weird if the roommate of the guy she was fucking started trying to get in her pants? Also, I could just lie and say she didn’t do it for me. Then you’d be forced to pay for my food and—Hold on. If she’s so good, why are you so willing to pawn her off to me?”

“Why do you ask so many stupid questions? First of all, she’s not mine just because I’m sleeping with her. I’m just telling you to go see if she’ll let you. I mean, there’s no guarantee. She barely even gave me a shot.”

“She barely gave you a shot? But you’re, like, the campus prince”, more air quotes, “How did this even happen?”

“Well, to make a long story short, we were both high at her sorority and I’d heard rumors about her from Wonho, so I went to…talk to her in her room.”

“Wonho is Wonho, though. He’d fuck anyone if the weed was good.”

“That’s where you’re mistaken, my friend. He has a diverse and sophisticated palate. He knows what he’s talking about when it comes to weed and sex. Once I took him up on his suggestion and she said yes, I never looked back,” Jin says with a dreamy voice.

Jimin watches the back of Jin’s head loll on the sofa. When a soft sigh emerges from where the older man is sitting, Jimin recoils and runs out of the kitchen, away from the couch.

“Are you jerking off right now? Dude. Not cool.”

“Get the fuck out, then. It’s Thursday, which means I’m getting off by 7:30pm and I don’t give a rat’s ass who’s here when it happens.”

“Fine,” Jimin huffs and reluctantly stuffs his feet back into his sneakers where they lie by the door. “I hope your dick chafes.”

Jin purposefully releases another, louder moan and Jimin runs out of the apartment.

“I’ll have an order of the half crispy, half spicy and a large coke. Thanks,” Jimin says to the clerk at the grill before checking his phone for the 8th time in the hour.

8:01 Jimin - Are you done yet?

             (8:10 read by Jin)

8:11 Jin - yeah but round two starts soon so

8:11 Jin - *middle finger emoji*

Jimin quickly shuts down his messenger app and opens up Flappy Bird while he sits at a table and waits for his order number to be called.

“Stupid asshole and his stupid dick, kicking me out of the stupid apartment. Fuck you, dickhead,” Jimin mutters to himself.

“What did you just say?” 

Jimin’s head whips up at the infantile voice coming from the seat across from him. Jeon Jungkook is sitting at his table, eating a veggie burger. Who the hell orders a veggie burger from a chicken place?

“Were you talking to me,” Jungkook asks again, pushing his bulky glasses up with a finger.

“Jeon, why would I be talking to you? A better question is why the hell are you talking to me?

[emma-nation]

Thinking Of You (Mona x MC Fanfiction) - Chapter 7

You said move on Where do I go? I guess second best Is all I will know

Summary: Years later, Allison has everything she wants, a brand-new internship as a doctor, a handsome boyfriend… but her first nightshift won’t go as expected…

Genre: Romance, Angst

Tag list: @zoe6111, @simsvetements, @mvrinettes, @whoinvitedalx, @scarlet-letter-a0114, @abunchofbadchoices, @kamilahmademedoit, @janurary, @talkinlikeateen, @eagle-one-1, @andreear17, @tia-bi, @monagf, @monahott, @fal-carrington, @crazzyplays, @honorablebicycle​, @teja-desai​ (let me know if you want to be tagged!)

Notes:

- English is not my first language, forgive me for any mistakes.

- Choices July Challenge starts tomorrow and I’m more than excited to share some other MonaxMC fics with you. Stay tuned!!

"I still don't like this idea," Mr. Wheeler grunted.

"Neither do I," Mona responded, scowling with arms crossed. "Do I look like I'm happy?"

"Will you two ever stop?" Allison finished placing her things inside her purse.

"I hope you're not doing this, ruining your life, because of her again."

Mona rolled her eyes.

"Look, I only accepted this damn plan because Allison tends to do some stupid things. I know she'll get in trouble."

"For the first time we agree, Mona. Though this behavior is more usual when you're around."

"Are we good to go?" Allison interrupted, trying to put an end in the discussion.

As expected, Mr. Wheeler wasn't happy. He protested, accused her of throwing her entire future away because of Mona but, in the end, he threw the towel, knowing it was useless to try to change her mind.

Mona nodded, waiting for her in front of the door.

"Before we go," Allison pulled out her cell phone, "one last thing."

She snapped a picture of Mona.

"Mona's first day of college. We need to save that moment. Your mom is going to be so proud!"

"Don't you even dare to send her that!" Mona angered. "If she knows I'm playing the bait for a serial killer, she'll kill me and your father together."

Allison laughed.

"Don't worry, but we'll show her when all of this is over. She’ll be proud anyways."

Mona sighed and shook her head.

Outside, they were about to enter her car when she stood still, staring at a luxurious car parked at the opposite side of the street. Noticing their presence, the car drove away. Mona scowled.

"Who was that?" Allison asked, curious and worried.

"No one," she answered. “No one that matters.”

Ignoring the tension in the air, Allison changed the subject.

"I can't believe we're actually doing this!" She giggled as Mona started driving. "I'm so excited."

"You're the only person I've ever met that would want to catch a serial killer to run away from your life. And I've met some weird kinds in prison."

With the mission, Mona was finally being more open around Allison. Her mood also improved, though she fought hard to hide it. She was always smiling and making jokes. The night were Allison confessed her feelings was never mentioned again, but she planned to bring that up again soon, when she was finally able to break her engagement.

Griffin had been unreachable lately. The internet signal was very poor in the area he was volunteering. Mona would often tease her, about him having a second fiancée in Africa.

They parked. Mona wouldn't leave the car.

"Let's go," Allison called.

"I suddenly feel nauseous again."

"Don't tell me Mona, who doesn't give a damn about anything, is actually nervous?"

"C-Can you blame me? Do you have any idea of how long ago was the last time I was in school? And trust me, it wasn't good."

"Okay... I'm gonna do something my dad always did, in my first school days," she kissed Mona's cheek. "A good luck kiss! See you at lunch."

Mona froze and then blushed. Allison left the car, leaving her alone. She hid herself behind a tree and observed at distance as she followed her own way.

----------

The day passed quick, but it wasn't any easy for Mona. As she entered her first class, she felt a lump on her throat.

"So this is how it feels like," she thought, remembering her past and how she was supposed to have attended to NYU or Columbia. Both of them granted her full scholarships, over a science project she developed in High School and she perfect GPA.

She picked a seat at the most hidden corner she could find in the auditorium. In that moment, Mona completely understood Mr. Wheeler’s feelings towards her. She acted so stupid, throwing everything away for a girl. Searching her name on Google, she found out she was in jail again. Drug dealing this time. And she didn't even look so pretty or cool anymore.

The classes were easier than she expected. For someone that got a GED in prison, she stood out, being the one to answer all the questions teachers asked. Of course, not without attracting some jealousy from her classmates.

Anyways, it was lunch time and she was ready to reunite with Allison.

"Any news?" Mona asked, as soon as she joined her at the table. "I can't wait to get the hell out of here."

"No, there wasn't any creepy guys selling drugs in my classroom," Allison joked. "But come on, was it so bad?"

"Bad? My classmates have started spreading rumors I was in jail for murdering some dude. The only person who actually interacted with me was this Christian girl, saying she'll help me to find redemption."

Allison couldn't help but laugh.

"What about you? How many Graysons did you meet in class?"

"Griffin. But no, there was no one like him."

"Obviously,” Mona finally grinned, ironically. “Because he's the most perfect, handsome and also, good in bed."

"No, actually it’s because most of my classmates are women."

"Oh! Any like me? I doubt it."

"Of course not! You're one in a million, Mona."

Mona suddenly stop laughing, wondering if Allison was still joking of if she really meant that. Before she could ask, her expression changed and she became serious.

"I'm breaking up with him," she told.

"Oh, my condolences."

"Can you just be serious and listen to me? I mean, I like talking to you. You don't judge or put any pressure on me."

Mona inhaled deeply, thinking of what to say, without sounding sarcastic or thrilled about the break up. She tried to remember the therapy sessions she was forced to attend in prison, where the therapist taught her to be more empathetic.

"Listen, Allison. You know I'm not the most appropriate person for heartfelt conversations or to offer comfort but..." she placed her hand on top of hers. "You gotta do what's the best for you. If you're not happy anymore, just do it. You're smart and pretty, besides having some impressive hot wiring skills and being a great driver. I’d say you still can have a lot of fun before settling down with someone."

"That was the sweetest thing I've heard in years," Allison smiled. "Thank you."

Mona didn't immediately removed her hand, Allison didn't bother moving hers either. They stayed like that for a brief moment, enjoying each other’s touch.

"But I'm worried about you," Allison spoke again, in a serious tone. "About that guy who was parked in front of home this morning. You're not in danger, are you?"

Mona sighed. She didn't like sharing, but since she was staying in Allison's house, she deserved to know the truth.

"That's my..." she cleared her throat before saying the word, "father. Though he's the ultimate douchebag, he offers no threat. I hadn't seen him since I was fifteen. I have no idea why he suddenly became obsessed with me."

She told about his famous dealership, with all the stores he had around the country and how he had been keeping her car for the last few years.

"Maybe he's trying to make it up for the lost time and bond with you?"

"No, it's something else. I just don't know what."

Allison checked her watch, concluding it was almost time to go.

"I had a really nice time chatting with you," she said before leaving. "I hope we can do this more often."

"Yeah, me too..." Mona whispered, but she was already gone.

----------

After lunch, Mona had a freshmen orientation in the library. Checking her phone, there was already multiple messages from Detective Wheeler, asking if she had gotten anything. She rolled her eyes and started to examine her surroundings.

"Remember what you're here for. This life isn't for you. You're only playing a role."

There was this young male, Brian. She had been watching him since the early hours in the morning. Mona knew his type very well. Big biceps, small brain. He was a Jock, what made her the suspect number one in her list. Discreetly, she took a picture of him, sending to the Detective.

Passing through one of the library sections, she saw a perfect opportunity to confront him, when he was pestering another freshman girl.

"Come on, gorgeous. Let me give you a tour of the campus. I'll show you the most interesting spots in this place."

"Leave me alone!" The girl ordered.

He didn't obey. Preventing her from leaving the aisle.

"At least give me your number. So we can get to know each other better."

"No!

"Come on..."

Mona decided it was the perfect moment to intervene.

"The girl said no," she calmly said. "Do you even know what 'no' means or... your muscles have overgrown your brain?"

"Get out of here, chick," he angered. "This is between me and... what's your name, gorgeous?"

Mona placed herself between them, frowning at him.

"You're crossing limits here, dude. So it's my business too."

"Do you have any idea of who you're messing with?"

"What about you? Do you have any idea of who you're messing with?"

"Oh my god!" The girl yelled in that moment. "S-She's that girl who was in jail for stabbing a man."

Brian's expression suddenly changed.

"T-Those are rumors. She's only playing the bad girl act."

"Are you willing to test me?"

"I could break you in half if I wanted," the intimidating look was back on his face. "You've been warned. Stay out of my way."

As he went way, Mona glanced back at the girl. Who looked away, avoiding to face her.

"You're welcome," she said upon her silence.

She began to walk away, when she called her back.

"Wait! I'm so sorry, I just wanted to scare him away. I don't even know if these crazy rumors are true."

"And you don't want to find out."

Mona continued her way, but she heard the girl yelling 'thank you' at distance. She didn't care, she had gotten what she wanted. One first suspect for Detective Wheeler.

At the parking lot, she waited for Allison, when Krista, the Christian girl, came to her direction, making her wince in displeasure.

“The Lord is testing me.”

"Mona!" She greeted. "How was your first day? Well, I hope."

"Fabulous," she replied with sarcasm.

"Good. Listen, I really meant it about redemption. If you prove you're willing to follow a new path, you're more than invited for our weekly Bible studies."

Mona didn't answer. She didn't want to sound disrespectful or offend her at all.

"Wow, is that your car?" She asked looking at the Halberdier EVX. "I-It isn't stolen, is it?"

"Probably," Mona sighed deeply. Kaneko had given her that car when she moved to Los Angeles, so it was very possible.

"Oh my god!" She covered her mouth with her hand. "Listen, the first step for your redemption is to get rid of these things. Things that keep you attached to your sinful past. Will you be getting a new car?"

"Maybe, when I have money."

"I could get you a job, if you want. We do charity work for people like you, that served time in prison. But first you need to prove you're willing to reborn to a new life."

"I'll think about it," Mona lied, trying to end that conversation.

As she watched Krista entering her own car, she let out a laugh. She had the most expensive car of the moment. The same model as Dr. Carlson and her father.

"Snob."

----------

Allison was never good at socializing, in school her only friends were always Darius and Riya. In college it wasn't very different. All the friends she made, she met them through Griffin. He was the popular one. But the situation demanded desperate measures. There was going to be a hot party in the weekend, to welcome the freshmen, and she needed to get invited. What place could be better to catch a drug dealer than a party?

During a break between classes, she found a group of girls reunited at the bathroom. She remained silent inside a stall, to listen to their conversation.

"Are you going to the 'Welcome Party'?"

"Sure I am! It's one of the best parties of the year!"

"Do you know where I could get tickets? I tried to buy from Aaron, but he said they're expired."

"Don't tell anyone, but I bought some extra. You know, there will be some desperate people searching for last time tickets and I really could use some extra money."

"Perfect," Allison thought.

She followed them to the corridor, her wallet in hands.

"Hey! Did you say you have tickets for the 'Welcome Party'? I need two."

"You gonna have to pay double for them, honey. I was saving for some friends."

"I have this friend, who's a freshman too. After having such a hard time in life, she could really use some fun. I'll pay the triple."

In the end of the day, she was grinning ear to ear. Mona was waiting for her, leaning against her car's hood in the parking lot. As usual, she had a scowl on her face.

"What happened?" She asked. "I have the most awesome news."

"Is it related to the investigation?" Mona asked. "Because I don’t know how longer I can’t take without telling these dickheads to screw off!"

"Whoa, someone has definitely pissed you off."

First she told her about her suspect and her encounter with him at the library, where Mona saved a girl from him. In the end, she also misjudged her, repeating the rumors for everyone around to listen.

"And then there was this Christian girl, the one who wants to save my soul. She wants me to get rid of my car, but she has that brand-new European model all the douchebags have. My father and Dr. Dickson."

"Hey, your dad is a creep, I agree. But Dr. Carlson is a good man. Have you seen all the humanitarian projects he does?"

Mona looked at her and sighed.

"Anyways," Allison changed the subject. "I have great news. Something that will help you to relax."

"Please, tell me it's my one-way ticket to New York?"

"No, you're not going away so easily. Not before we attend 'The Welcome Party'."

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ 365 Days of SasuHina || Day Two Hundred Seventy-Seven: Plastic Wrap ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Yūhi Kurenai ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: Best Years of Your Life ] [ AO3 Link ]

Another day...another shift at work.

In all actuality, Hinata doesn’t hate her job...it’s just...well, not what she expected to be doing. She had such grandiose plans of going to college, getting a degree in education, and teaching a class of little kiddos before settling down and having a few of her own with...someone. Back in high school her dreamboat was, well...sunk. So that part of her plan was a work in progress.

But then her entrance exams for her school of choice went...horribly wrong. Struck by severe anxiety, Hinata completely bombed them. Ashamed, she didn’t even bother retaking them, and instead opted to ‘take a year off’ and see where life took her.

To her honest surprise, her father let her live at home during said year to find herself. And Hinata busted her butt at the local grocery store working to save up enough for what she knew would be her eventual getting kicked out and moving someplace on her own. And just as she predicted, Hiashi got fed up with her ‘lack of direction’ after that first year, and...she was left to wing it.

By some grace, she actually managed to get a decent roommate. Her cousin’s girlfriend was looking to move off-campus while getting a degree in sports medicine, and agreed to halve the costs with Hinata to make things easier on them both. Then Neji decided to move in, and...it’s actually worked really well!

...despite...constantly feeling like a third wheel to their relationship. But Neji assures her time and time again that they enjoy her company, and want to help ensure she doesn’t have to go it alone.

...of course, that’s going to be a little questionable once they both graduate and need to move.

For now, however...Hinata’s just taking life one day at a time. Back in the deli section of the grocery store, she’s part of the team that makes...well, all the deli food. Her own speciality is the sandwiches, and she’s gotten really good at it! She can whip up just about anything in a flash, packaging it neatly in plastic wrap and filling up the displays, or even making them to order as people browse the cases. She’s gotten oddly proud of herself, being marked as a model employee.

Sometimes some of the older staff ask her about her plans, given her young age, and she just...shrugs.

“I like it here,” she tells them. “It’s not...g-glamorous, but I enjoy it. And...I’m not sure the whole ‘college’ thing is really, um...my speed.”

And after a little while, she got more than used to the locals pestering her about it, too. It helped that her old theater club instructor Kurenai (with a new family of her own) was supportive. Add in Neji and Tenten’s help, and she got over the stigma of choosing work over schooling within just a few months. Sure, every once in a while she’ll get a little...melancholy about it. Mostly whenever on social media, seeing all the posts from her friends her age doing more ‘typical’ things. Attending classes or sports games, getting significant others, and just...other milestones Hinata herself has yet to reach.

“Life isn’t a race,” Kurenai had told her once, stopping in to have lunch with her old student one day. “If anything, it’s just the opposite. It isn’t about rushing from point a, to b, all the way to z. Take time to wander, meander...you’ll find those milestones at your own pace, if you even want to. Your life is your journey. So long as you’re happy and healthy...who’s to say you’re doing your own thing wrong, hm?”

That conversation had left a spring in Hinata’s step for a good long while, and as time passed, she found a sort of...peace in her work. Not to say she’d totally given up on things changing or improving over time. But until she figured out what that would be, well...she was just fine doing things her way.

“Hinata! We need more turkey and swiss, please!”

“On it!” Collecting the proper ingredients to her work station, Hinata gets to crafting, lost in the rhythm and pattern of her work. It’s the lunch hour, so anyone making their way through the store tends to gravitate toward things ready-made, able to just pick it up and take it home to eat. The display cases are kept full, and the smells of fresh food fill the air.

Once her set is done, Hinata loads them into the cases, arranging them just so to try and make them any degree more appealing to those walking by.

“...Hinata?”

Stacking the last sandwich, Hinata straightens and looks to the inquisitive tone, blinking. And then it hits her. “...oh! Sasuke…?”

Standing on the other side of the case is indeed Sasuke Uchiha, an old classmate. Hands buried in his jacket pockets, he looks just as surprised to see her here. “Uh...yeah. I...didn’t know you were working here.”

Giving a quick, sheepish smile (and preparing for the inevitable questions), Hinata replies, “Yeah, um...I-I’ve been here over two years now!”

“...huh. Surprised I didn’t notice you earlier, then. Guess I’m just never in the right place at the right time.”

There’s a pause, and...he doesn’t press anything else. Just sort of...stands there.

A bit lurching in the quiet, Hinata eventually offers, “So, um...did you...want something?”

“Yeah, uh…” He glances over the selections. “...you don’t happen to do, like...BLTs, do you?”

That earns another blink. “Not for the regulars, but I can make you one, sure! We do custom ones, too. So it’s no trouble! Anything else you want on it…?”

“Just some mayo, I guess. With rye bread, if that’s okay.”

“Sure! Do you want it...toasted, or anything?”

“You can do that?”

“Yeah!”

“...okay, yeah - sure. Thanks.”

Humming to herself, Hinata goes about her routine, quickly arranging everything on the requested rye bread. For a moment, she even forgets who she’s making it for, absorbed in the process until the finished sandwich is finished. Quick hands get it wrapped in a jiffy, and she hands it over. “There you go.”

“...thanks. You work here every day?”

“Every day but Sunday and Monday, yeah!”

“Huh...cool. I thought about getting a Summer job this year, but nothing ever panned out.”

Hinata’s head tilts. “...well, next time let me know, and I’ll see if maybe we have any openings here! If...if you want, that is. It’s a pretty nice place to work, in m-my opinion. Everyone’s fairly friendly! There’s...well, there’s some sour grapes, but they’re easy enough to avoid.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll keep that in mind. School’s been kicking my butt, but it’d be nice to get a little spending money in the off months.”

“You’re, um...you’re going to the local uni here…?”

Sasuke nods, still holding his sandwich. “Yeah...haven’t picked a major yet, and it’s driving my dad nuts. I just dunno what I want to do yet...started out in some business courses, but it just didn’t feel right.”

“Oh...yeah, that can be t-tough. I know a lot of our classmates ended up changing their minds after this past year. Sakura gave up on dance and is going into nursing! So...you never really know what will end up c-clicking, sometimes.”

Surprise lifts his brows a bit. “Huh...didn’t hear that. I don’t really...talk to a lot of our old classmates.”

“Honestly, I don’t either...I mostly just sort of lurk,” Hinata admits, looking a little sheepish. “It’s...a bit hard to keep up with social media sometimes...you know?”

“Yeah...all you ever see is what people want you to see. It’s why I gave most of it up. It’s not as genuine as you think. That and I got tired of all the gag-me relationship drama everywhere, and pictures...it’s like people are only on there to brag, or complain. Not my scene.”

That actually gets her to perk up a bit. “E-exactly! It’s just...n-not any fun. At least...not really.”

The subject idles for a moment before Sasuke asks, “So...you like working here?”

“I do. I don’t know if it’s, um...a career, but…” Her shoulders hunch ever so slightly. “...it’s just...where I am for now.”

“Hey, whatever works, you know? No judgement here.”

“...thanks. Not everyone is so, um...understanding.”

“Yeah, all that status quo crap. The world needs deli workers just like it needs doctors and lawyers and engineers. Don’t sweat it, Hinata.”

A bit surprised, Hinata can’t help but go a bit pink, feeling rather...reassured. “...yeah, I...I guess you’re right.”

A short alarm then rings, and Sasuke pulls out his phone. “Ah, crap...I gotta go. But hey, thanks for the sandwich. I’ll have to make a habit of it.”

“O...okay! Any time!” Brightening, Hinata waves as he takes his leave, feeling oddly...giddy. It’s been quite some time since she’s talked to an old classmate, and...even longer since it went so well. Mood bolstered, she just calls out a ‘Got it!’ when her next batch is ordered.

...she’s already looking forward to seeing him again.

                                                           .oOo.

     So this is...super random cuz I was LOST with this prompt xD It's just so...random, and yet specific, so...hopefully this is still fun to read? lol      Just a little modern stuff with a...well, I guess she's not a drop-out, but...a college-less Hinata, and directionless Sasuke. He gets it. Or at least I think he would. I dunno, I'm very tired and this prompt was weird so who knows if any of this made sense, but...I tried xD      On that note though, I reallllly need some sleep, so I'll sign off - thanks for reading~

[pickalilywrites]

i read a prompt wrong and wrote the wrong fic for it so imma just toss this one out to the void i’m sorry!!! orz

Ten Years Later

EreTra. High School Reunion AU. 

1752 words. 

Buy me a ko-fi!

Eren hadn’t planned on attending his high school reunion. He still keeps up with his old high school friends, and he’s friends with his old teachers, most of them who have already retired, but he didn’t really have any desire to revisit his youth. Aside from the typical pranks and shenanigans, high school wasn’t particularly memorable to him. When he had received an invitation to the reunion party a few months ago, he had planned on just throwing it away. It was only when he stumbled upon a particular post on Facebook that he changed his mind, and he scrambled to his recycling bin to dig out the invitation. He RSVP’d immediately after that and wrote the date on his calendar. Ever since then, he counted down the days until his high school reunion, telling himself that he was eager to see his old high school and former classmates, but he was really only interested in seeing one person in particular.

He sees her first, but he doesn’t approach her. He keeps her in the corner of his eye, watching as she talks to former classmates and teachers, both new and old. He intends not to approach her at all, thinking that it might be better just to watch her from a distance, but a part of him wants her to notice him. It must be why he doesn’t stay in the corner of the gymnasium, hidden behind the crowd of people. Eventually, he finds himself drifting closer and closer to her. When they’re close enough, he pretends to be occupied with the variety of refreshments that have been set on the table, and when she finally sees him, he pretends to be surprised.

“Eren! I didn’t know you were coming!”

He turns around, feigning shock for a second, and then breaks into a wide grin. “Why wouldn’t I be here, Petra?” he asks. He stands up straighter when the short, ginger woman approaches him, towering over her. He had always been taller than her, but it seems he’s grown even taller since he had last seen her. “This is my high school reunion, after all. It makes more sense for me to be here than you.”

“I guess that’s true,” she laughs. Although they had gone to high school together, Petra was two years older than him – a senior when he was a sophomore. It was during his second year that he had met her while she was working after school as an English tutor, and he had spent far too many afternoons at the library asking her to proofread his essays. “I’m only here to chaperone. You know that I became a teacher?”

“I think I saw that on Facebook,” he says with a smile. He’s known about it ever since she had first announced it, but he only pretends as if he’s just recalling this fact. He thinks it suits her incredibly well – working with kids, preparing essay prompts, proofreading late into the night – but complimenting her would surely give him away. Instead, he asks, “At this school, right? It must be weird to teach at a school that you used to go to.”

“A little bit. I still feel weird being so casual with Pixis. He insists that I call him by his first name, but I don’t think I ever could,” Petra laughs. She glances behind her where the old history teacher was currently talking to other teachers before turning back to Eren. When she smiles, he finds that his heart still flutters the same way it did when he was a high schooler. “What about you? Did you ever become a great writer?”

“No,” Eren replies with an apologetic shrug. He looks down at the floor, shuffling his feet. “I became a police officer, actually.”

Petra raises her eyebrows in surprise. “A police officer?” she repeats, tilting her head. She studies him for a second before smiling again. “It makes sense now that I think about it. It really suits you.”

“Yeah?” Eren grins. He shoves his hands in his pockets. “I actually did do a few writing competitions in college. I won a couple too.”

“Really?” Petra asks excitedly, clasping her hands together. “I always loved your writing. It was always so passionate. I can only imagine that it’s gotten better over the years.”

Truth be told, Eren didn’t really like writing until he met her. He was never good at academics and was content with the B’s and C’s he received in his classes. The only reason he even went to tutoring in his sophomore year was because he couldn’t afford to fail his English class. When he had arrived at the library and given his half-assed essay to the cute upperclassman, he was afraid she would laugh at him. While she read his paper, eyes narrowed and a pensive frown on her face, he fidgeted in the seat across from her, waiting to hear her critiques. When she had finally placed the paper down in front of him – scribbles of light blue notes all over the margins – he was sure she would tell him that it was hopeless, but she simply pointed out sections of his writing he should highlight, even praising him for the way he used language, before giving him a few pointers on how to better organize his thoughts. By the time Petra had told Eren she was looking forward to reading his next draft, he was already planning how he would edit his essay, which was something that had never happened before. He thinks that was when he fell in love with her – when she told him she was excited to see him again.

“I still write sometimes. Not a lot, but every once in a while,” he tells her. Letters, mostly, all addressed to her, but he would never think of letting her read them even though he knows she would cherish every word. He keeps them in a shoebox under his bed where no one except for him knows about them.

“I’m glad,” she says. He loves that look on her face – that small smile, the way her amber eyes soften, and that slight tilt of her head as she looks at him – and remembers how she would wear that same expression when he had told her he had gotten an A on his paper.

This is the part where he should say goodbye before he says too much, but he doesn’t want to part ways just yet. Wistfully, he glances at the dancefloor where people are dancing to something soft and slow. He should know better than to extend his hand to her, inviting her for just one dance, but he does anyway, and he’s over the moon when she accepts.

They dance together, but Eren feels as if they’re floating. He wonders if he’s smiling too much, and he wonders if she notices. She probably doesn’t; she hadn’t noticed all those years ago, and she certainly won’t now. She doesn’t notice that he gazes at her with affection meant for more than a friend, or that he places his hand on her waist so sweetly and delicately. She doesn’t notice how he leads her across the room, careful not to step on her toes. She doesn’t notice how he looks at her, admiring her in her green and black dress – more casual than what anyone else is wearing, but he thinks she looks the most stunning out of everyone in the room. And she doesn’t notice at the rueful expression on his face when he glances at the diamond on her ring finger, wishing he had been the one to bestow the jewel on her.

They reminisce about their youth, catch up on their present, and contemplate about their futures. Hearing her stories, listening to her laugh, seeing her smile, it makes Eren regret never reaching out to her after she graduated, believing that seeing her occasional social media updates would be enough. He thinks, for a moment, that everything would have been different if he had called her at least once. Maybe she wouldn’t have been oblivious to his feelings towards her. Maybe she would have understood all those longing looks he gave her. Maybe it would be his ring sitting on her finger instead of someone else’s. But he knows that none of this is true.

The music fades, something more energetic and upbeat taking its place, but Eren’s hands fall away from her and he puts them back in his pocket, knowing that he has overstepped the boundaries he had set. They stand across from each other, a small distance between them. It’s a distance that Eren wishes he could close, but he knows he never will.

“It was great seeing you again, Petra,” he says, and he genuinely means it.

“It was nice seeing you too,” Petra smiles. She looks over his shoulder, waving at someone behind him. To Eren, she says, “My husband looks like he wants me. Isn’t he so needy? He hates places like these, but he still came anyway because he didn’t want to be at home alone.”

“You should go to him,” he tells her with a polite smile. Eren doesn’t turn around. He has no desire to see her husband. He’s already seen her wedding photos on her Facebook; she married her high school boyfriend, and she was happy. That’s all he really needs to know.

“Yeah,” she laughs. She moves past him, turning around to give him a small wave. “Have fun tonight, Eren! Maybe we can see each other later!”

He doesn’t think so. He thinks he’s going to head out early, but he doesn’t say that out loud. He simply waves at her instead before making his way out of the building. The cool night air hits his skin. He closes his eyes, breathing it in.

It’s strange. Ten years later, and he still feels his heart race when he sees her the same way it did when they were high schoolers. In the end, he never managed to confess his feelings to her, but that doesn’t really matter. He had done what he had meant to do – see her and see if she was happy. And it was nice, seeing her again. Now he could rest easy knowing that she was content with her life. He can close that chapter in his life. But he knows he never will. Not really.

[jmschrpp-blog]

Alphabet Project

A- Alphabet

I was in Kindergarten when I learned how to use the Alphabet. I was in K-A  and our classroom had the letters on the walls. In class, we were given workbooks each about different letters. We would read, write, and color in these books. After working on each section, our teacher would review the letter with us and we would take a quiz. At the time, these quizzes seemed very difficult and impossible. We were required to write the lower case, upper case, and a word with the letter.  This went on for months and months and at the end of the year it got extremely difficult. When we finished the whole alphabet, we had to take a test. Our test was we had to write our whole first and last name, to prove that we learned the whole alphabet. This is not hard now, but being a six year old and barely being able to hold up a pencil, this was not easy. Everyone in the class were shaking in their seats and we were scared. Little did we know that we had the best teacher in Kindergarten hall and she taught us everything we needed to know. After completing our test and getting good grades, our teacher awarded us with candy.

B- The Boy in  the Stripped Pajamas

I first heard about this novel when I was in fourth grade. I watched the movie and felt as if I connected with each of the characters. After creating that bond, I could not stop there. I decided to go out and rent the book from my school library. I was so excited to reconnect with the characters in the book and immediately went and found a bean bag. I cracked the book open and started reading. During middle school, we had a break between classes and I would always go read in the library. I would also go scarf down food in the cafeteria then run to the library and start reading again. This was the first book that I had ever wanted to read, because I loved the movie so much. This was also the first book that I read that I felt like the characters were telling their story, and not just the author. This book spoke to me and will forever be one of my favorite books.

C- Crucible

In tenth grade, I had to read the Crucible. Nobody in the class was excited, because we had heard from our older friends, that the book is terrible and the tests were hard. Our teacher required us to finish so many pages and then take a quiz over what we read the next day. I had no problem doing that, but I like to enjoy a book and not just read because I have a test the next day. When I am reading a book, I like to try to cope with the characters as much as possible. I am trying to learn what is going on and why is that happening. Anyway, we had to read huge chunks of this book at a time and I would always fail our quizzes. Due to many of my fellow classmates just smooping or reading spark notes. Our teacher had to make our quizzes very detailed and very difficult. This book a lone dropped my English grade down to a C and I was never able to bring it back up. I hate this book for this very reason.

D-Doctor Seuss

When I was a young boy I enjoyed my Doctor Seuss books, especially The Cat in the Hat and One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish. I would constantly run to my mom yelling "Mom, Mom, Mom, can you read me Doctor Seuss". She always knew which books I wanted to read and which ones were my favorite. She would always say "Of course honey, I will be up stairs in a minute". I would then sprint up the stairs and already have my favorite book sitting my my side. For some reason these books just never got old to me. I loved these books with a passion and even tried to read them on my own. This was not the best of ideas, I did not really understand what was going on. The only thing I understood were the pictures, I knew what was going on because my mom had read to me over and over. These were my two books that sparked my reading career and I loved these books so much as a young boy.

E- Eighth Grade

In Eighth grade, I had a terrible teacher. We read two books by the same writer. I'm sure everyone has heard of him. His name is Mark Twain. My teacher was so in love with him and his books. She would constantly show us pictures and tell us about how she went and visited his town. Everyone in the school dreaded going to her class, because we knew it would be about the same thing and about her love for him. The first book we read in the class was The Adventures of Tom Sawyer. I enjoyed reading this book, until I looked at her syllabus and saw we were started Huckleberry Finn right after. I knew what this meant, more lectures about him. When we were finally done with all the Mark Twain lectures and books, it was finally time for her exam and of course I Christmas Treed it and ran straight out of that classroom.

F-Frankenstein

During my senior year of high school, I was required to read the book Frankenstein and write a research paper on it. The book was not long and it was not boring, but of course my classmates were so lazy that they just read Sparknotes right before the quiz. My teacher soon caught onto them and decided she needed to make the quizzes extremely detailed and then that class got real. We walk into our first "real" quiz and of course my classmates go onto spark notes and start reading. As soon as the bell rang my teacher got up and started passing the quizzes out. I figured I would be fine because I liked the book and read it the night before, then I read number one. Number one asked, "When Frankenstein was peering through the window what color were his eyes". I read that question and froze, because I could not even remember. I read through the rest of the quiz and the same thought went through my head. I decided to just use my best judgement and guess on the questions. My teacher soon came around and picked up our quizzes. To my astonishment nobody around me knew the answers either. My teacher soon came around and gave us back our quizzes and the average grade was a two out of five. She then said that we should start taking notes on the reading and take her quizzes seriously. In the end, I still failed every quiz on Frankenstein for the next three weeks.

G- Grades

During my school career, I have been pretty good at English. I could do all the fundamentals, but when it came to writing I was not all that great. I always spend so much time writing and try my hardest and my papers come back looking like my teacher gave her child it to color on. I never could figure out why it was so bad or why it makes no sense when I wrote it and rewrote it one-hundred times. My teachers in high school typically made us rewrite a paper if it made under a sixty-five and I think I had to do that just about every time. I would work so hard and use my teachers tips and then get my paper back. My paper usually looked just about the same, but I made about a seventy.

H- Huckleberry Finn

I have already stated in this project that I now hate Mark Twain. I think I know every place he has been, every comet he has seen, and even the meaning behind his name. Anyway, after reading his book The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. I felt as if I could relate to his book. I grew up in the small town Marion Arkansas. I am about five minutes away from the Mississippi River and cross it about everyday. I have always hung out with my buddies Max and Layton that live just down the street from me. When I was younger, me and my friends used to take the boat out and launch it in a small river behind his house. We used to just float up and down the river all day fishing and swimming. We also used to camp out in fields around our houses on long weekends and wake up in the morning and duck hunt somewhere nearby. This is how I related to Huckleberry Finn.

I-Intelligent

I like to think of myself as an intelligent and bright guy. Through middle school and high school I typically had good grades. My teachers also always said that I was intelligent, normally when they hand me something back and said I made a bad grade and should have done better, because I was smarter than that. Anyway, the only times teachers ever complemented my brain power was when I failed, and my parents normally did the same. Whenever I do something wrong or something just flat out stupid, they hit me with the same old thing. They always like to say "You are way smarter than that" or "Why did you do that, you know better. I know you are smarter than this". I normally am shocked but just take the smart part as a complement. Anyway, thats how I know I'm intelligent.

J-Jungle Book

This was my favorite book I had to read in high school. I'm an outdoorsy guy and love animals. At the beginning of the year when I saw we were reading it, I was so excited. I knew this was going to be the book I wrote my research paper on. This was my first big essay of senior year and I was surprised at how excited I was to write it. I think it was mostly because I knew after that paper, I was halfway done with research papers in high school. The other half of me was ready to crack this book open and start reading it. I loved the movie so much and honestly loved the book even more. It was my favorite book I read in all of high school.

K- Kindergarten

Kindergarten was the year, that my academic career started. I remember sitting at my table with my new friends, and trying to read the letters on the walls. We had the whole alphabet a long the walls and shelves full of books for us to read. My favorite part of kindergarten was not the reading though, it was defiantly the parachute. Me and my buddies, were the trouble makers and probably are still considered that today. We always would wait for everyone to lift it up and then we would run to the other side and take our other friend's spot. My teachers would yell at us every time we did that and we normally went home with a yellow card every day. My other favorite thing to do, was when we used to get cans of shaving cream and cover our tables in it. Our teachers let us do this, when we were working on writing out new letters in the alphabet. We would do this about once a week, when we were moving onto a new letter in the alphabet and everyone loved doing it.

L- Let Down

During school, I defiantly had my share of ups and downs. I made good grades and I made bad grades, I made good decisions and I made bad decisions. High school for me was defiantly full of trial and error. I always felt like I was a let down, when I came home with a test and my parents see that I failed it. They always would yell at me and then tell me that I should have studied more. They would always make me study extremely hard on the next chapter test for that class, even if its a Saturday night and I don't have the test for two weeks. I also felt like a let down when I expected that I did good on a paper, then I get it back and the guy next to me made an A and I have "see me after class" across the top. Seeing that is always worse than an F, this to me usually means that you got such a low grade that the teacher wants to give you points to get a higher F.

M- Mother

Throughout school my mom has always been there to check up on my English papers. She is extremely good at writing and has actually started writing her own children book. She seems to always know what my papers are missing or what needs to be corrected, even if she has never read the book. My mom actually used to be one of my teachers and had the opportunity to teach my brother and I. This was at a very early stage in my school career, but I find that very interesting. She has always been very good with every subject, but math. She was my English tutor when I needed her most and I appreciate everything she has ever done for me.

N-New School

After my sophomore year I decided to transfer to Briarcrest. This was not for any other reason than I wanted to further my baseball career. My goal was to play college baseball and to keep playing for as long as possible. Of course this never happened. What I found when I transferred though is that I actually began to enjoy school. I made better grades and has closer friends. I found that having good teachers made my school life very enjoyable. My English teacher was by far my favorite teacher. I had the opportunity to have her for two years and I became very good friends with her. Her class was very difficult, but she understood that and took extra time out of class to help us out. She even would stay after school for two hours, so we could get help or just talk to her about any troubles we may be having. She was a great teacher, and even will shoot us a text from time to time telling us that she misses us and hopes we are enjoying college. I like to drop in from time to time and say hello to her and socialize with some of my younger friends. My English teacher was a great teacher and changed the way I viewed high school.

O-Outdoors

I have always loved being outside. I have spent many of days with my dad hunting or fishing. When I was younger, I used to always love reading books that had some form of hunting or fishing. I also used to go sit out on my back patio and read books. When I moved to Arkansas, me and my friends spent weekend after weekend working on a shed. We built this shed on the back side of my farm. It was a two story tin shed, with a deck on top. We used to hangout in the shed, grill out, and even fish off of it. This wasn't all I used this shed for though. On nice days, I loved going and sitting in a lounge chair on the deck and do my homework. Around this time, I was reading Huckleberry Finn and doing this helped me connect to the literature. I always could picture what was going on and imagine that me and my friends were doing the same things, based on stuff we did around our houses.

P-Procrastination

I have always waited till the last minute to get work done. In my head I always say that I have time, then I typically look up and boom my assignment is due in an hour. This is how my mind has always worked. I find small things to do instead of doing what is required of me. My biggest issue, is I am extremely busy now that I am in college and I also love to procrastinate. Those two things do not mix vey well. Throughout high school, procrastinating was not a big deal. This was only because the assignments were not too difficult and our teachers let us start assignments during class. Now that I am in college, getting assignments done is very difficult. I am on my own, very busy, and have lots of homework due in lots of classes. Procrastinating is something that you can not do in college and I need to teach myself not to do that.

Q-Quit

Throughout high school, I was never quitter. I would work my hardest and try to accomplish the tasks given to me. My teachers and coaches always said I am a hard worker and will go somewhere in life. This changed last year. In English we read a book just like we always do and then we finished it, took a test, then something different happened. After the test, our teacher handed each of us a paper. It said Essay on Frankenstein. It was Spring of our senior year, we were ready to get out of that class and just be free. This made every one of us mad, because we did not have that much time to finish. We graduated in a month and a half, have senior stuff almost every day, and I had baseball games every day of the week. This essay not only was the longest essay I had to write and it was the most stressful, this was because if we fail we have to keep on rewriting it till we pass. This was because without a passing grade on the essay, you do not pass the class and you do not take the exam. I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and I was nervous. All I wanted to do was quit and just be done with the essay. I was working countless hours and staying up late every night. I wrote and rewrote and looked over everything, I worked ours on this essay. A few weeks later I walked in to class, slapped that ten page essay on her desk and walked to my desk striding with confidence. About a two weeks later, I got my paper back. I got a sixty-five. I was not mad and I was not sad. I was just glad I did not have to rewrite this paper like everyone else.

R- Reading Test

Throughout middle school, me and my friends loved to read. We would got to the library every day and pick out books to read. We typically stuck to our "Magic Treehouse" and would read them almost every day. After finishing a book, we had to take an "ARP" reading test on the book. Taking these test would raise our reading grade and would allow us to read harder books, that we were typically not allowed to read. Every so often we would hit a reading check mark and would win free coupons to restaurants or we would win toys or candy. This was the biggest thing at school, because everyone knew when the library would refill the treasure chest, because we would see our librarian walking down the hall with bags of toys and candy. This always meant, when we got the chance we have to go get a book and start reading. This became a competition among the grades and we all were trying to get the highest reading score. The highest reading scorer always would get the best prizes, sometimes even including a book of his or her choice. Doing this sparked my reading flame and it is still lit today.

S-Suck at reading

Throughout high school I was not the best of reading. I tried my hardest to read books but I just could not sit down and focus. I would read each page, take notes, and try to understand what is happening. After all of that I would still sit with the book in my hand and still not know what happened. I was a decent reader in middle school and was able to read above my reading level, but that all changed in high school. The books got longer and the words got weirder. I love to read books, but the books do not like me. I try so hard to understand and read books for test, but when the teacher hands me the test its almost like I never even read the book.

T- Magic Treehouse

In middle school, I loved the Magic Treehouse series. I probably read every single book throughout sixth and seventh grade. Me and my friends loved to sit in the library and crack open the book. I loved to read these books all the time. This was my favorite series of books and I honestly might start reading them again. When we were in library class, me and my friends would always sit at the table closest to the Magic Treehouse section so we could see which books were there. We would also read the books as fast as possible, so we could trade with each other or we could go return the book and get another book. This series was the reason why I started reading and I would so read it again.

U-Misunderstood 

Throughout school, teachers never could understand what I was trying to say. I would work my hardest and try on papers. After writing the paper and getting my grade back, it would say “could not understand what you were saying”. I would read my paper over and over after seeing that. I never quite understood what they would mean by that comment. I would read my paper in my head, then take it home and read it out loud. It never made any since to me. In high school, our teachers would allow us to turn in the rough draft for a homework grade and they would put their thoughts and comments on it and return it. It never seemed to fail that they misunderstood my paper and I was back to rewording it the next day. This would always throw me for a loop, because I do not know how to reword what I am thinking to make it better known. I flat out thought that everyone would know what I am saying and it was not confusing at all. This is what made papers extremely difficult for me throughout high school. 

V-Villanelle 

Senior year of high school, graduation right around the corner. The only thing left to do is to write a Villanelle. Our teacher said she made it the last project, because it would be a fun send off for the seniors. She was so wrong. She handed us the project and immediately started showing us examples. Everyone in the class was so lost, but did not care, because they were planning beach trips and places to eat after graduation. Me on the other hand I was contemplating what to write about. About a week into the project, I decided on baseball. I started writing and just got stuck. My Villanelle just was not flowing like I imagined it. I wanted this last project to be a banger, so I decided to throw that away and start from scratch. I kept on brainstorming and settled on my favorite thing in the world, duck hunting. My project flowed, it had that rhythm and spunk I was looking for. I flew through that project and I was finally happy with the way it turned out. It was a masterpiece, something I would want to frame and put on my wall. I was jumping with joy when I saw I finished a week early and the project maybe took me an hour. This project was the worst project, because of the timing of it, but it was my favorite because I got an A

W- Writing 

I’m going to be flat out with you. Me and writing are not friends. It just does not come to me that easily and I hate doing it. I always seem to add unnecessary commas, run ons, and I can not really spell either. I always think I am doing amazing and my paper should be published, but yeah I get it back and its always a VERY low grade. If I am going to be honest my issues might be this bad, because I wait till the absolute last minute and type papers turning class. I always seem to work best under pressure, at least that is what I always thought.  My teachers always told me that my paper would have been a lot better if I did this, this, and this but then they hand it back and I always have to think “how many pens did she use to grade this”. My writing abilities are very minimal but I still give it my best and try to make my papers as best as I possibly can. 

X- X marks on papers 

My teachers were always very good at drawing X’s on my papers. They loved to strike words out and hell even sentences. I always would sit there and stare at my paper and think to myself “I’m honestly pretty sure there are more X’s on this paper than there are words”. I have had papers that teachers have graded that I felt like their five year old son got a hold of and grades because there were lines going every which direction and symbols I have never even seen before. After transferring from CBHS, my English teacher got extremely strict. She had us carry around an Easy Writer and after each rough draft we would have to write out the definition of what we did wrong, the sentence, and how to correct it. Most of the class would get it done in ten to fifteen minutes and I normally was having to take it home for homework. My teacher always picked at my essays and always would make corrections to things I never even thought existed. I always got essays back covered up in red ink, and I was never mad or sad. I just started to accept it and knew it was going to happen. 

Y-Yelled At 

I was never really “yelled” at my parents for bad grades. But they sure did like to storm in my room throwing a fit after they saw my weekly grades. I was never a bad student. I always did my home work, made decent grades on test and really did work hard. You might be asking yourself “What could they possibly be mad at” or “What do you mean, it sounds like you are a great student”. I was asking myself these same questions, but the answer is essays and writing assignments. Like I have been preaching throughout this assignment, I am absolutely terrible at writing. My parents were always mad when I got papers back because “your mother is an excellent writer” and “your father’s grandmother was an English teacher”. I had big shoes to fill and I never can fill them. Writing never came easily to me and I always struggled. I write papers and rewrite papers. I also would get my mom to read them and Hannah, the smart girl, to read my papers. I tried to make the best possible grade I would and would always come out with a C or usually and F. 

Z-Zeros 

I never once did make a zero on an assignment, that I actually did. There are plenty of assignments that I just could not bring myself to do and just accepted the zero because I didn't know what was going on. I did however make such low grades on assignments that I might as well had made a zero. These assignments were usually in math and on rough drafts. We can talk about the math another time though, because I am still not over that. On a rough draft, my grade typically ranged in the twenty-five to sixty-five range. Unless I really worked hard and worked on it all the time. I normally never did this unless I had no plans and was not playing a baseball game. In high school I had my eyes set on one goal, and that was to play college baseball. As you can tell that never did happen and that really affected my grades. It never really affected my homework, because I was able to get most of it done during school, but projects on the other hand. It really hurt my grades that were not due the next day, because I knew I had time to do them and would always just put it off till it was due. I mostly did this in English because I knew the outcome before hand and just accepted that. I made grades so low that I honestly should have just turned in a paper with my name on it. This is how my writing goes and hopefully it gets better this year, now that I have more free time on my hands. 

[kyxgrey]

storytime:

So I went to public school for three months of seventh grade. During those three months I was in band. Here's the thing I had never been in band and was a self taught percussion player who couldn't read sheet music. Well my teacher didn't know this and I refused to tell her so I taught myself to do it. Anyway not the point.

A week into school they brought in an assistant band teacher. Now I'm 13 at this time and quite frankly I wasn't as sex crazed as most of my classmates seemed to be. To put it simply I was, and always have been, a fucking nerd. Again not technically the point.

None of the class knew this was happening. So when the right side door behind the percussion section opened and a guy walks through we were pretty startled. Except I was flipping out. He was wearing a navy blue suit with darker blue stripes, a simple patterned tie, and fucking converse. It was super strange for all of us as Mrs. C always wore the same uniform we did, khaki pants and a polo shirt. That's still not what got me.

The guy had brown hair and it was styled like he ran his hands through it too much. But it wasn't just that. He looked like he couldn't pass as David Tennant's twin. So me, a avid Tennant fan, was freaking the fuck out standing behind my xylophone trying not to squeak out loud. Mrs. C explains why he's there and then tells us his name. HIS NAME WAS FREAKING DAVID C. (won't say his full last name as I am using his first name.)

Needless to say I was entirely distracted the entire time I was in band class as we didn't play that day. She wanted us to get to know him better since he was going to be there all year. So by the time he got around to us in the back of the room I was completely gone and had no self control and blurted out the one thing on my mind. "You look exactly like David Tennant and it's kind of freaking me out." He proceeded to blink at me stunned. I'm barely breathing at this point cause what the actual fuck Skylar. Then he says something that made me nearly die. "I don't have a clue who that is." HE WAS DEAD SERIOUS.

So me, being the huge nerd I am, began to me like 'oh hell no this will not stand!' This was like my new mission in life or something. "He was the 10th regeneration of the Doctor on Doctor Who." I am expecting this to clear up some confusion. But it just leads to "I've never watched it before, never got around to it I suppose." CUE ME TRYING NOT TO SCREAM WhAT THE FUCK IN MY SEVENTH GRADE BAND ROOM.

I then proceed to say with all my freaking chest "Well you should watch it cause you're his twin. Also from this point on I refer to you only as Ten or Mr. Tennant and no you can't make me change my mind." He laughs and y'all I was freaking out cause OOH and he just smiles at me and with everything in him says "So if I'm the doctor what does that make you then Skylar?" IM LIKe HE DID NOT JUST Do THAT. My heart at this point has fucking exploded cause who the fuck did this man think he was encouraging my weirdness and being happy to do it and taking it in stride. Why was he not getting upset or making fun of me or telling me to calm my imagination? So I answer "Your companion of course." with this 'and there's nothing you can do about it' tone.

Well fast forward like four days of me calling him Ten, The Doctor, and Mr. Tennant. My band teacher Mrs. C over hears me call him Doctor and she practically flies over to us in her speed and proceeds to say "How dare you address a teach by anything other than Mr. or Mrs. followed by their last name!" and I'm like 'holy fuck chill it ain't that deep.' But I've been horrified of her since day one so I'm floundering and He sees this and y'all I've like left my body at this point. He turns to her and goes " Actually it's an inside joke and I don't mind it one bit. I am this Tennant guy's twin after all." AND SHE LOOkS SO ANGRY BUT HUFFs AND WALKS OFF AND IM LIKE HOLY SHIT HE JUST DID THAT WHAT THE FUCK?

Fast forward to Four weeks of him being there. The band he teaches is performing at the highschool and he wants me to come so I can meet a few people. At this point he has learned that I am dyslexic, can't read sheet music, and the only reason the girl over the percussionist is even passing band. So I'm like sure okay and we go and after it's over he comes over to me and my mom. They talk a bit about my potential in band and how I could make it into an orchestra if I kept working at it. Then he turns to me with the most serious face and goes. "By the way you never mentioned I save the world all the time. Or that I have two hearts and that companions change a lot. Oh and you definitely didn't mention that I'm kind of a jerk sometimes." I'm confused at first and then I light up like a Christmas tree and he smiles and my mom is standing there confused. "You watched it!" he nods and I'm dying inside cause who is this man and why is he so nice to me and not annoyed at the 7th grader who thinks he looks like some actor from their favorite show. He then proceeds to tell me about how he looked it up after the first day at the school and began to watch David Tennant's seasons in his free time and wanted to know a bit more than an episodes worth of stuff before bringing it up. He then says "And if I had to choose a companion that you are it would definitely be Donna Noble, and not just because you're ginger." Which this made me cry and I was smiling and I asked if I could hug him and he said yes absolutely I could so y'all that was a thing.

Then the last day I was at school I told my drama teacher Mr. Cooper I was being pulled to homeschool again because of bullying. He said I was welcome to contact him anytime if I wanted to find any plays to be a part of. Then last class of the day was band. Which for once I was dreading. We played our music and I was trying not to cry cause despite school being a living hell and two of my teachers bullying me along with most the kids I looked forward to Drama and Band if only because I enjoyed the subjects and the teachers. Well it's the end of class and I kind of stay behind a bit cause we always have a bit before we need to hurry to the gym to wait on the buses. He asks me what's wrong cause I'm sniffling and very close to tears. So I tell him I'm going to be pulled and homeschooled cause of bullying. And without thinking I say "I don't want to go." and he hugs me and when I tell you I started crying more cause he says "Hey, the doctor doesn't actually ever leave his companions, he always keeps an eye out for them. So if you ever need me. I'm here." So yeah.

That's the story of the time I got my 7th grade assistant band teacher to watch doctor who cause he's David Tennant's twin and how he showed me that having an imagination wasn't something to be punished for. Sometimes I wonder how he's doing but then again the companion is never supposed to know what the doctor does after they leave. Oh look I'm crying again because Mr. Cooper and Mr. Tennant were the only teachers in that whole school that actually cared about their students and for some reason cared about me enough to offer their time even after I left school. THIS WAS SO LONG IM SORRY.

[emotionalsupportaudino]

literally me just complaining

I am very genuinely hurt by the treatment my school gave me in the three years I was there. This is my gentle full on vent. This is me getting out my incredible pain in a timeline.

When I went to NCC, my mental health was literally improving in strides. Two years and I walked out confident, happy, assured of my own worth. It was such a great school. I had such great friends! I was losing weight, I was running 5ks every day in the summertime, I was learning to love myself.

And then I started at Moore. My first year, my first day, my first class, I walk in at 8:30AM ready to fucking learn. I have my notebook, my flash drive, and my confident spirit. Here I was. I was at this fantastic school. All my professors at NCC were so proud of me for getting there. I was in a class studying my absolute favorite topic of my major: Character Design.

My professor walks in, six months younger than me and with a chip on her shoulder. She tells us that if we’re not pulling all nighters every project, we’re failures. She tells us we have an assignment worth 20% of our grade due the next Friday. A 4-person set of silhouettes from a fairy tale that make each character clearly defined as their characters. She gives us a rubric and only explains 80% of it. I ask about the other 20% and she responds “Oh I’m not grading on that, don’t worry.”

Anxious about this huge chunk of my grade, I skip out on a free music festival with my NCC friends and spend every night until midnight working on this project. I go through dozens of iterations of silhouettes for my characters. And then, I turn it in, and I barely pass. Because she gave me a 1/5 in the section of the rubric I asked her about. I ask her why? “These are too identifiable. They’re too obviously what they are.”

She continues this to the point where the rest of my semester is a fucking blur. I was miserable, having mental breakdowns once a week, and this lasted for about two months before I dropped the class because I was literally on the verge of killing myself.

She puts down every aspect of my personality, my very being. I worked in cut paper when I was at NCC and I did really well at it. I tell her I like working with shapes and it was my specialty at my previous school, she tells me “It doesn’t look like it.” I tell her my favorite games are Persona 3 (this is before 5 comes out) and We Know the Devil. She says the artist behind WKTD is a bad person and no one should play it, and that Persona is bad because why would any adult want to play as a teenager. She catches me listening to Love Live music and makes fun of my taste. When I had thought too hard about my project (a chimera where she literally threw an entire in-depth illustration at us the night before it was due and required us to pay fare to the zoo or she’d take 50% off our grade, WHEN I HAD LITERALLY JUST RECEIVED MY FIRST PAYCHECK and had almost nothing), and had everything about this animal planned, she asks me: “What’s the Latin name?” It was not mentioned anywhere on the sheet, it wasn’t involved at all. She docked me 5% for not knowing Latin

I seek out help, first, from my head faculty. I tell him the things she tells us. He says “oh I’ll talk to her, but that’s just how she teaches.” She comes in the next class talking about how much he praised her and how great she’s doing. She’s even worse to me. I cry in the bathroom for half the class and the head of first year classes catches me and literally lets me cry on her despite the fact I am not in any of her classes and tells me to drop. So I do.

My classmates for the rest of the semester are miserable. Everyone except for me and 3 others in my program are literally miserable for the rest of the semester. She cost kids their scholarships. One of my friends is so bad that literally the mention of this professor’s name causes her to have a panic attack. I accidentally caused one and felt awful.

This professor is the start of my Xanax dependence. And she’s never disciplined.

In the same semester they start teaching 2D animation. Except by start I mean start and finish. We are expected to know everything about 2D animation in one semester. We are never offered another class.

My second semester, two of my classes are taught by a man who DOESN’T KNOW THE PROGRAM and is teaching it to himself as we go along. He smells of alcohol, and at the end of the semester he disappears during critiques. We have to teach ourselves everything, except, SURPRISE. One of the classes is 3D modeling, teaching us the foundations of Maya.

We never learn the foundations of Maya.

Third semester, first of junior year, we find out the school has lied to us from the getgo. After saying every student got 1k for their internships, we find out students get $500. And the other $500 goes right to the school if you paid by month like I did. 

We also find out that everything we didn’t learn in our modeling class was super important. Our professor--THE HEAD OF OUR PROGRAM--gives up teaching us and kinda says to do whatever for our 3D Animation class. I ask him how to do several things specifically (2D animation on a 3D model being one of them). He does not know how. He does not bother to learn.

During that semester, my grandfather dies. I am told by my Admissions department job that if I miss more than one day of work for the funeral, I will be fired. I never got time to mourn. I still miss my grandfather. I cried about his death literally every day from October to May.

Second semester of Junior year is a blur because I am having so many panic attacks. I find an internship, but it’s outside of my typical field. That internship saves my life. And that’s barely exaggerating. I hadn’t felt happiness in a year when I started it and suddenly every day was... exciting again. I made friends, I had fun, I felt human.

First semester of Senior year is... rough. But not overly rough, mostly because I’m only taking two classes. And one of them is with one of the three (3) competent teachers I had teach me my studio classes. It’s great. I genuinely enjoy working despite thesis.

I had won a grant in the spring of my Junior year to travel abroad for two weeks at the beginning of September. My head of program swears he will present my game and get feedback. I return and he says there was no feedback. I ask my classmates--he never presented. I never got critique on my concept until three months into it because I thought everyone knew what I was doing.

Second semester of senior year was the worst four months of my life. I had never been so hurt, so ignored, and so honestly lost.

-My senior thesis class is taught by a woman who has no experience in any of the programs we are using. She has never animated in 2D or 3D. She has never programmed or designed a game before. She keeps asking for more work because she doesn’t understand that the 12 hours a week I’m putting in in coding is seriously beginning to harm my health.

-The same professor teaches the modern culture of Animation/Game Arts class. She refuses to touch on queer subjects. Repeatedly. She drops the hbomberguy stream but knows nothing about it. I wind up being the one who had to explain what it was about.

-She requires us to take a trip to New York and doesn’t get funding for us. This includes transportation there and back, subway fare, tickets to events, and meals. Had she mentioned it to ANYONE in administration, we would’ve gotten free meals. She did not. She left most of my class alone in New York City with literally no idea where to go and no instructions on how to get back. That trip cost me nearly $100 in the end. (I did get to see the original Taminella puppet at the Jim Henson exhibit at the Museum of Moving Image, and the costumes from Labyrinth, which was totally worth it and I broke down crying at it because like, Jim Henson means the world to me? I want to be like him. I just want to make the world a little brighter.)

-Oh did I mention we were never fully taught C#, and yet I was expected to code an entire game in it because for my thesis I wanted to combine 2D art and gameplay? Yup. She didn’t know that either.

-They refused to let us know anything about setup for Senior show until less than 2 weeks before hand. We had to pay for anything installed for the show and any decor. Every other major knew at least a month in advance. We had less than 14 days.

-I walked in on my one friend about to harm themself more than once. I found others saying they were on the verge of suicide. I comforted more people than I think I ever should have had to in those last 4 months. Whenever I asked for help, I was met with a door in my face.

DESPITE ALL OF THAT I have a deep love for my underclassmen. I genuinely want the fucking best for them. They’re in that hellhole and they deserve better, and I want to be as much help to them as possible. Our major has no connections in the paid art world.

Last March, due to my work in the library (AGAIN THAT INTERNSHIP SAVED MY LIFE ), I was offered a job teaching game design to kids in an underserved area. It’s good pay and great work and great people. So when they said “We need more people,” I immediately said “Let me get in contact with my school.”

The head of the program and his full time faculty both REFUSED to either answer emails or meet with me and my job leads. It’s good fucking work. I love every second of it. I’m happy doing it. And I know I have classmates who would be happy too.

And they’re refusing to meet with me.

Everyone else I came in contact with at the school was happy to see me again. The deans were happy, my old bosses were happy, my career center was happy, my old classmates were happy!

But it stings to be rejected like that after busting my ass for three years to do my best.

I just... I feel like I’m never enough for anybody. And the damage they did to my mental (and physical) health is irreversible. I got addicted to anxiety medications, I’m struggling to be confident in myself, I literally get told almost daily at work to not do the things the program drove into me.

I’m getting better and learning to be okay again, but... I’m really fucked up by this school. And I don’t know what to do.

(Oh and the school counselor apparently didn’t actually have a license to practice and often told me my anxiety was in my own head and that it was my own fault bad things were happening to me. Like deaths in the family. And the way my teachers treated me.)

[ambwimagines]

Pocket Chocolate: Chapter 3, Please See me.

(Flashback)

Boy 1: You want your glasses back little weirdo ? huh ?

Boy 2: Or do you want this stupid little notebook ?

Minhyung: Hey give that back ! (reaching for his notebook)

Boy 1: And if I dont ? (Pushes him back on the ground)

 Suddenly he looks and sees you out of his peripheral 

Minhyung: Or I’ll tell everyone how you wet the bed at his slumber party last weekend.

Everyone: Oooooohhh!!!!

Boy 1: Shut up, mommy said I had too many glasses of milk

Everyone: *Still pointing and laughing at the boy*

Boy 1: Here take your stupid book ! you loser ! (runs off crying)

Mark gets off of the ground and dusts himself off and gets up jogging to meet you half way across the school yard.

Y/N: What?.... was that?

Minhyung: Power...(throws his arm around you as you both walk into the school)

*PRESENT DAY*

Walking into the doors of the facility. A bright sunny day. People scattered all across the lawn and inside the building of the University. Serving their purpose, fulfilling their duties one way or another. You walk through the doors hastily with no time to waste. You we're 30 minutes late for your first class and did not wanna make it 31. Your friends from Accounting 101 we're waiting by the door along with a group of other kids. You ran up to them with a puzzled look on your face. "What's going on ?" You asked the congregation of people. "Apparently ,Mr. Jung is not in today." One of your classmates spoke up calling for your attention. "Why ?" You ask walking over to him. He shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Your friends from the same foreigner exchange program and class Valerie and Erin came over to you.

Erin: Yeah we don't know we just got here and saw the note on the door.

Y/N: Well do you think he's okay ?, what if he got beat up on the way home or mugged or something ?

Erin: The man is 6'4 with a permanent scowl, I don't think anyone wants to mess with that.

Y/N: Yeah, you're right (laughs) but what about our assignment?

Erin: He's not here to give it to us sooo... Not our problem

Y/N: Okay you guys can maybe afford to miss assignments but I can, this is my sixth and final year, I have to write my thesis in less than 3 months, I don't have my FFB project done and-...

Valerie: Shhhh... do you want a repeat of last semester ?

Erin:Oh yeah they took you to the in-house mental institution

Valerie: It is called the Student mental retention center its for students who are stressed out and feel like they are on the edge of a mental break.

Erin: In house...nut house.

Y/N: Guys I get it ! okay I get it. I’m not trying to make a scene I just feel like I won’t succeed and I’m just wasting money

Erin: As dedicated as you are ? You have an A in his class right now.

Y/N: An -A Erin, I have an - A . People who come out of this program and get offers from corporate giants don’t get an -A.

Valerie: You need a break, I need a break, Erin needs a break. We all need a break. Maybe it’s a good thing Mr Jung is not here today. We all just need a little reset before the end of the semester.

Y/N: Maybe you’re right...maybe I do deserve a break

Erin: Yeah you know,...or some Valium

Y/N: Sorry Erin...(Sticks your tongue out at her)

Erin: (nonchalantly flips her off)

Y/N: You know it would be good, I can catch up with my friend, I haven’t seen him in a long while.

Valerie: Friend? Him? When did you see him?

Y/N: I saw him at the convenience store last night, Minhyung.

Valerie: Wait wait. Minhyung as in Lee Minhyung as in Mark Lee ?

Y/N: Yeah that’s him

Valerie: How come you didnt tell me Mark was your best friend ?

Y/N: I didnt know, we spent like 10 years away from each other. I know he always said he wanted to write but I didn’t think it meant he wanted to write songs for a group.

Valerie: Well you know you should have told me as soon as you found out.

Y/N: Everything isn't about you Val

Erin: I tell her that and she just hits me (blocks valeries incoming hand) See ?

(All laughing in unison)

Y/N: Guys let's go have fun today. Let's go make memories.

It was settled you guys decided to enjoy the rest of the day together. Seeing everything this great city you just when to college in had to offer. Hours of goofing off, eating and laughter had passed you by and you end up on the second floor of a store. In the home section. Looking at pillows for your dorm because you brought yours from home and they were getting worn out really fast.

Y/N: What about this black and white one that says vibes and it has fringe on it.

Erin: Nah, too conventional

Y/N: okay....what about this one ? Erin: Seriously are you even trying ?...(laughs) Y/N: It says botong ( 보통) Sleepy, which is usually sleepy, which is a giant mood.

Erin: Okay well you’re botong basic as fuck (laughs)

Y/N: Erin how did we even become friends ? Erin: You got me a C average in  Mr. Jung’s class I had to repay you somehow (loudly sips her iced fruit tea)

Y/N: Ha-ha very funny (rolls her eyes) You know you actually like being around me

Erin: (pats you on the head) Yeah, keep telling yourself that kid. As Valerie snickered at the both of you this guy walked in staring at the three of you. None of you noticed him. But he noticed you guys though. He continued to stare hard as he pretended to scope out a couple of stools and coffee tables across the room. At one point you and the creep even made eye contact. You were staring at him staring right back at you and it didnt even bother him. You turn away shaking your head in disgust. You look up and see Mark walk in and you call out his real name to get his attention.

Y/N: Minhyung ! Mark: Hey Y/N hows it goin ? Y/N: It’s goin, Just lookin for some pillows. Oh these are my friends (gesturing towards the two girls) Erin and Valerie. Erin: (throws up peace sign) Sup (smiles) Valerie: Oh my god I know exactly who you are. I thought the only time I would ever get to see you would be in concert, if I was even that lucky. Mark: I take it you’re a huge fan of NCT Valerie: The biggest, I know all the songs and dance movies and for my birthday. I even got a comforter with the Pixel animation Taeyong teaser photo !!! Erin: All I got were a pack of black socks and some tin foil last year Y/N: (Holds back laughter) Mark: You have some very interesting friends Y/N: They kept me sane these past few years. Mark: I can imagine (snickers)

As you and Mark watch Erin and Valerie argue about Valerie getting her a crappy gift last year because she simply forgot. The strange man in the room went undetected and unnoticed. He got dangerously closer inching closer to your section of the room. Erin: We live together ! you said and I quote (Imitates Valeries voice) “ Hey guys if you want a gift from me just put your name under the date on this tiny pink magnetic calender I just bought, I promise I won’t forget.” Valerie: God Erin, I was busy! Erin: So busy you went to the store and got me socks and tin foil at one in the morning the day before. Valerie: In my defense I had no idea what to get you, you barely talk to anyone about the things you like. They kept on arguing and no one saw the man come on the same aisle as you four. Your back was turned to him and so was Mark’s. Erin was in mid-sentence naming off the things she liked to Valerie and that was when it happened. The man came up behind you and snatched you from the spot you were standing in. Hoisting you into the air about to take you away with him. But your friends quickly charged toward him. Grabbing the closest leg or arm of yours they could get their hand on. They pulled for their life against the abnormally strong perv. Mark grabbed the guys hands which were wrapped around your waist while you were still in the air. he pulled them apart effortlessly fumbling his grip with you. Dropping you on to Mark for him to catch you. Causing the man and your two friends to fall on the floor. Mark Gently pushes you aside walking towards the man slowly as he backs away further and further looking up at Mark. Mark grabs him yoking him up by his collar in the air and then slams him back down on to the ground. The man blunders back up to his feet and runs away.

Erin: Guys Security ! (Whisper-yelling) All four of you crouched down simultaneously behind a white shelf with vases and other decorative glassware. Crab walking and putting a finger over you guys mouths reminding the person next to you to be quiet. You all safely make your way to the other exit at the back of the store and leave. Mark walks you and your friends home walking a few steps behind you three making sure no one else tries to put their hands on you. You walked huddled between your friends in the middle of them. They both rest their heads on your shoulder. You’re holding your wrists and looking back at Mark every once in a while to make sure he’s still there. When he sees you he gives you a small reassurance smile turning up the corners of his mouth. You return a brief smile to him. You arrive at the steps of the dorms still holding hands with Erin and Valerie. They try to go ahead but you gently pull them by their hands which are in yours to get their attention.

Y/N: Guys I’m gonna talk to Minhyng for a bit is that okay ? Erin: Will you be okay ? Y/N?  Erin asks with the concern seeping from her voice. Not to be dramatic but she real life almost lost you today. Only god knows what would have happened if Mark wasn’t there and your friends couldn’t fight him off or weren’t strong enough to pull you back at least. Y/N: I’ll be fine. Promise. Erin and Valerie step down a step and hug you again before the ascend the steps and go to the shared dorm. They were so worried, something told you they were gonna be this way from now on and truth be told. They had every reason to be. You step back down a step and come face to face with Mark. He turns to face north and you both walk the other way.

Mark: Are you okay Y/N ? Y/N: I’ll be fine I’m sure...won’t really trust any other guy except you from now on but, I can live with that. Mark: You know I’ll never let anything happen to you right ? Y/N: Obviously Minhyung, with what you did back there. You know it’s kinda like...it’s kinda like that day that Jack Whitaker was picking on you and you told the entire 3rd grade class he peed on himself at Tommy’s slumber party and he ran away crying (laughing as you talk) Mark: He should have never took my notebook. Y/N: (Laughs) But seriously it’s like you were an entirely different person that day and in the store. What was it ?... Mark: You want the answer ? Y/N:(turns her head to look at Mark and nods yes) Mark: You. Y/N: (Stops walking and looks at Mark wide-eyed) Mark: Yeah that day when I was getting picked on, I was feeling defeated. Then I looked up and I saw you. The day of our 5th grade graduation I was extremely nervous. Then I looked up and I saw you. When I see you I get braver. When I see you I get more strength to carry on and do what needs to be done. And when I wake up and put my feet on the floor. I grab my phone, I go to my pictures, and I look at you. Y/N: Minhyung....That’s the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. I’m speechless and I don’t know what to say. Minhyung... you’re amazing Mark: You’re ethereal Y/N: (Hugs him tight) Mark:( Hugs her tighter)

*LATER ON THAT NIGHT*

The boys were settling in to go to bed. They were washing up brushing their teeth, and putting on pajamas. Mark is just coming in the door feeling on top of the world. The load is lightened and he felt weightless. He felt like a feather. He closed the door behind him and exhaled with the utmost glee.

Doyoung: (coming out with a towel over his shoulder brushing his teeth) Last one in is the last one to the Showers. You have like 3 or 4 people in front of you. Taeyong is one of them and he likes to take long showers. Mark: Okay Doyoung,hyung  Mark dances to his room sliding and moving his feet rhythmically. Today was a perfect day. Today was the day of all days. Unfortunate were the circumstances that brought it about but for him was an amazing day none the less. Johnny pops up out of nowhere leaning against the door post of his room.

Johnny: I haven’t seen you this happy since the first dance practice for our comeback. Mark: Ha-Ha very funny Johnny Johnny: What’s the occasion? Mark: (takes out his phone looking at a picture of you he made his lock-screen) I took the opportunity to let someone know where my strength truly comes from. Johnny: Oh...where? Mark: It’s a secret Johnny: Well you know a good magician never reveals his secrets Mark: (clicks his teeth and makes finger guns at Johnny) Johnny:( Does the same to mark)

Mark laid back in his bed and stared at the ceiling. It was something he didnt really do unless he was saddened by something. But in this case he was happy. He was ecstatic. But he came to a realization, to let someone know the power you have over them is a gift and a curse. Depending on what they do with the knowledge obtained. How they act, what they think of you, the decisions they make in light of you. It effects you. He silently says to himself while he closes his eyes his one wish, his one prayer. If god never gave him anything or did anything ever again....Just one thing. Just one Mark: I trust Y/N with my heart, please don’t let her break it.

Postscript: If it’s not too much trouble please shoot me a quick message or put a lil’ something in my inbox giving me your honest opinion on this chapter, the series so far or whatever as long as it Pertains to Pocket Chocolate only . I really want to know what I can do to make it a better series and a better reading experience for you all and I won’t know what you want unless you tell me. Some writers think they are above criticism and you should just accept whatever they put up. Not me. Let me know what you might want to be talked about in the next chapter perhaps, if anything, even my writing style. My spelling, my egregious use of slang or the Korean-Romanization of words or mis-use of Korean words. Whatever you feel just slightly keeps you from enjoying my writings the way you want to. Tell me and I’ll fix it, tweak it, whatever I need to do. As always I love you all so very much. Thank you for reading and supporting.  -Kayla

[timeoutforthee]

Like It or Not (Chapter 9)

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @michealawithana, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur, @idkaurl

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings:  Trigger warnings: self-deprecating thoughts and purging (skip last section, after "but it might be okay for a while.")

Read it on AO3!

This is almost as awkward as the first session.

The four of them sat down, with their desks pushed together to make a small, makeshift table. They were slowly realizing how little they knew about each other. What were they even supposed to talk about?

They were all very determined not to look at each other’s food, though, and commenting on it was definitely not an option, which already made this better than sitting out in the cafeteria.

Dot Spencer was still keeping a close eye on them, though, since two of them had brought in lunches that were as small as Roman’s and the third was becoming reluctant to eat anything.

“So, Virgil, you’re new this year right?” she asks, trying to fill some of the silence.

“Yep.”

“Then how do you guys know each other?”

All four heads snap up and look at each other.

“Shit,” Virgil says, “we might have to figure out that story.”

“The actual answer,” Roman says to her, “is we met at group therapy. But no one else needs to know that.”

Dot maintains her professional composure, even though she’s really tempted to squeal.

“Is that in addition to your individual therapy, Roman?”

“It is.”

“That’s fantastic!” she smiles, “And it’s really great that you all are trying to be there for each other.”

Too much, Virgil thinks, too much attention, too much positivity.

But, thankfully, after that she backs off, going to her own lunch.

“Maybe people will just assume we met the first day,” Logan says.

“Uh...that might not be as believable,” Virgil says.

“Why not?”

“Because Virgil was ready to punch someone out for Patton after what would be half a day,” Roman explains.

“He was not going to punch Cameron,” Patton says, but he notices that Virgil is now avoiding eye contact, “...you weren’t going to punch Cameron, right?”

“The important thing is that I didn’t need to punch Cameron.”

“Cameron? Cameron Burk?” Logan shakes his head, “Wait, what is going on?”

“Virgil and I went to the lunchroom, ready to retrieve our dear friend Patton-”

“Then we heard someone call him a name, I told him to back off, we had a staring contest and we all walked away.”

“Okay, first of all, rude, I was preparing to tell the tale properly with as much as theatricality as it deserved-”

“I know you were, Princey, that’s why I stepped in.”

“And second of all, you were dragged away.”

“I was not-”

Logan looked over at Patton, who was staring at his food. Logan always found it hard not to notice other people’s eating habits. It wasn’t as if he was judging them, it was just his observant nature. He tried not to do it here, because it felt like an invasion of privacy, in a way, but he still picked up on things. And it was hard not to notice that Patton was struggling to eat anything right now. Was this why?

Meanwhile, Patton was staring at the bag his lunch came in and not thinking. He was not thinking about how he had spent this past summer starving. He not thinking about how he had spent last night puking until blood came up. He was not thinking about the calories sitting on the table in front of him.

He doesn’t think about how none of it was good enough. He’s still Fatton.

Maybe it’s time to starve again. It wouldn’t-

“Patton, are you going to eat your sandwich?”

Patton jerks his head up, and automatically the smile is back on his face, “Sorry, spacing out a little there! I’m actually not that-”

“Don’t,” Logan cuts him off, “I wasn’t actually asking. I was trying to think of a polite way to say ‘you need to eat your sandwich’.”

Patton’s smile falls as Virgil and Roman turn away from their bickering to look at him.

“I don’t need to eat,” Patton practically whispers.

“Falsehood,” Logan says, “You-”

“Don’t,” Patton pushes his hands against his ears, “Just-I can’t. I’m sorry. I can’t.”

And he doesn’t look at them, because he knows he’s letting them down. They don’t need to see him acting like a child, yet here he is, like a little-

“What about half?”

Patton looks up at Logan, through the tears in his eyes, “What?”

Logan is bracing himself, “Half of it. And...I’ll eat the other half. So you don’t feel alone. If it’ll help….I don’t know how this works.”

Mrs. Spencer is chewing her food slowly, ready to step in if need be. But Patton slowly pulls his sandwich apart and passes one half over to Logan. Virgil and Roman look away so that they’re not staring as they both take a bite.

Logan’s eyes go wide and after he swallows he asks, “Is this Crofter’s?”

“Uh-yeah. You mentioned it in the session and when we went shopping, I picked some up out of curiosity. It’s really good.”

The first thing in Logan’s mind is his mom’s face when she was looking at the calories. But the second thing is the thought that Patton-or his mom, whoever made the sandwich-actually made it with enough jelly for Logan, and honestly, that was an impressive feat.

It wasn’t easy, for either of them. Patton was too aware of every bit of sweetness passing his lips as Cameron’s voice echoed in his mind. Logan’s mind was focused on numbers, sugars, calories, and carbs. But Roman and Virgil went back to talking, trying to keep a steady conversation to tune out the voices they knew their friends were hearing in their heads.

It didn’t completely work. But it was something.

“You know, my room is always open to anyone who needs it,” Mrs. Spencer speaks up as they clean up at the end of lunch, “The only rule is that you have to eat something.”

^

“What do you mean?!”

Roman is trying not to cause a scene, but honestly? He’s probably failing. His breathing is too fast and his voice is too loud. He can tell by the way his gym teacher, who everyone calls Coach, glances over his shoulder.

“Sorry, there’s nothing I can do.”

“Coach, look at me, I’m fine-”

“Roman. They gave me a doctor’s note saying you’re not allowed to participate in gym. There is nothing I can do, legally.”

“But-”

“Enough.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

“That, uh, that I don’t know,” Coach says, rubbing the back of his neck, “they’re trying to get something set up for you, but it’s not ready yet. For now, just sit in the bleachers.”

Roman wants to fight, and he might actually have to fight Picani over this, but he doesn’t want to do it in front of everyone in gym class. He could only imagine how that would go. He could imagine the rumors now, and the rumors would get back to Philip, who would tell his dad, who would demand to know what the hell he was doing and why couldn’t he do gym class anymore? Nope. Quietly sulking in the bleachers it is.

He’s starting to completely check out, going into “Daydream mode,” as he calls it, when he hears footsteps coming up to sit next to him. He jerks himself back to reality.

“Specs!”

“Salutations, Roman,” Logan says, “I didn’t know you were in this class.”

“Well, I was,” Roman says, gesturing dramatically to the bleachers, “But now I’m stuck up here. I’m guessing they sent you up here for the same reason.”

“Because of a doctor? Yes,” Logan adjusts his glasses, “Though I’m going to guess that I am much less distraught than you.”

“Probably. Because I am very, very distraught,” Roman leans back and groans.

“Tell me, is it a conscious choice to be this dramatic or does it just come naturally?”

“It comes naturally,” Roman replies, easily, “And honestly? Who am I to deny the world this magnificence?”

Logan blinks. “Wow. If I didn’t know you, that would be convincing.”

“What can I say? I’ve perfected the act.”

There’s a brief silence before Roman says, “Hey Logan?”

“Yes?”

“How exactly are we supposed to have a normal conversation?”

“Well, first we start with a topic, then the other will respond-”

“You’re a little shit, you know that?”

Logan turns to him, perfectly concealing a smirk, as he leans back, “I have no idea what you mean.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

They’re both leaning back, watching their class down below. Roman would honestly rather be running alongside them, but it might be okay up here for a while.

^

Patton wakes up at 11:52 on the dot. He always wakes up between 11:45 and 12:10, his body is so accustomed to his late night binges. He still sets an alarm on rough days, days when he knows he’s going to sneak down to the kitchen.

He knew today was going to be a rough day. The first day always was, but it was solidified the second Cameron had slid in across from him. His mom had actually offered to let him switch to homeschooling when she first found out about his disorder.

“Anything that’s going to help you, Patton, we can do.”

But Patton didn’t deserve help.

He didn’t deserve his mom’s worried looks. Sometimes he was tempted to tell her to just give up, he was never getting better. He was waiting for the day she realized she made a mistake all those years ago when they brought him to their home. They had so much kindness to give, and he was only filled with bitterness and could only offer disappointment.

I deserve nothing.

He didn’t deserve Virgil. He deserved Cameron’s words, because Cameron was the only one brave enough to say anything to his face. He knew his classmates were whispering behind his back, offering him shallow, plastic smiles to his face. Besides, anything Cameron said paled in comparison when it came to what he told himself. He could handle it. But Virgil deserved happiness, and to actually enjoy his new school. Yet he had tried to come to his rescue, and now he had made himself a target on the first day.

I’m not worth it.

He knew how hard it was for Logan to eat. He had watched him work up the courage to even offer. He shouldn’t have made him do it, he should have sucked it up and ate it himself, it wasn’t like he couldn’t make it come back up later. But Patton was selfish. He put his own needs, his pathetic need to eat ahead of what Logan needed. What if Patton just made it worse?

I am making it worse.

His friends, his family, they cared so much. For now.

They should see you now.

Patton knew it was gross. He had his forehead leaning against the rim of the toilet, and he was sweating. He forced himself to stand up and moved to the sink, grabbing his toothbrush. He had gotten rid of the evidence as soon as he could, since his mom still didn’t know he never stopped, but he could still taste on his breath.

You’re disgusting.

Tears were stinging his eyes as he scrubbed his teeth. His gums were starting to sting. He had a habit of brushing too hard at night, and he never gave his mouth a chance to properly heal. His teeth were becoming sensitive, but he never eased up.

He finally stopped, more so because he knew he had to get back to the kitchen and clean up the wrappers and get rid of any sign that he’d been down there. He rinsed his mouth out. He didn’t dare look at himself in the mirror. He knew if he did, if he saw his bloodshot eyes and bloated cheeks, he’d just start crying.

He dragged himself out into the kitchen, the words he’d whispered to himself repeating in his head. It was so clear to him, yet no one seemed to notice just how disgusting unworthy awful he was.

But one day they would, he knew it. And that day was going to hurt like hell.

[lizabethstucker]

Ex Libris: Stories of Librarians, Libraries & Lore

Edited by Paula Guran

Twenty-three tales of fantasy and science fiction that contain libraries and librarians as well as the magic of books.  An absolutely wonderful collection, only one disappointment.  And that was more about style of writing than the premise of the story itself.  4 out of 5.

 “In the House of the Seven Librarians” by Ellen Klages  

When the old Carnegie library was closed and much of its newer content moved to a brand-new library across town, seven librarians remained behind, moving into the library to stay.  Their lives are changed when a baby is left as payment for an overdue book. A suspension of disbelief leads to a strange yet satisfying read.  4.5 out of 5.

 “The Books” by Kage Baker

The Show traveled around the badly decimated U.S., providing entertainment and trade.  In one larger city, three kids explore, stumbling on a library.  All of them are determined to take books back with them, but it might not be that easy.  This was almost like a section of a longer story, one that I'd love to read. Very intense.  Baker does a marvelous job with atmosphere.  3.5 out of 5.

 “Death and the Librarian” by Esther M. Friesner

Death has come at last for Miss Louisa Foster.  Yet even Death can be surprised.  This one came close to tearing my heart out, slamming it on the floor, and stomping on it repeatedly.  5 out of 5.

 “In Libres” by Elizabeth Bear

Despite her thesis being complete, Euclavia is directed to the Library Special Collections to read another source.  Accompanied reluctantly by her centaur friend Bucephalus, they dare to visit the dangerous place.  Definitely dangerous!  There’s a chill tap-dancing along your spine, especially for those readers who have been deep in the bowels of huge, older libraries.  4 out of 5.

 “The King of the Big Night Hours” by Richard Bowes

Memories and suicides in the library.  I’m not certain how I feel about this one.  The writing is exquisite, the plot is intriguing, but the emotions invoked are not comfortable.  If that was the author’s intent, mission accomplished.  3.5 out of 5.

 “Those Who Watch” by Ruthanna Emrys

The library marks Elaine on her third day of work. Already dealing with various health and emotional issues, she must find a way to adapt or leave.  Unusual and intriguing.  Definitely deserves further exploration.  3.5 out of 5.

 “Special Collections” by Norman Partridge

He went to work at the library as suggested by his court-appointed therapist.  He started taking Library Science classes as suggested by the college archivist where he met Daphne.  But there are secrets, deadly secrets swirling around the library and the narrator. More horror than fantasy, not one of my favorites.  Despite ticking off some loved trope boxes, I struggled to finish.  3 out of 5.

 “Exchange” by Ray Bradbury

Working in the library for forty some years is getting to Miss Adams.  Too many children, too many books, too much noise.  Then a former patron arrives after hours looking for a final goodbye before shipping out.  There is no finer writer of fantasy on this planet.  Or maybe it is more accurate to call him a weaver of magic.  5 out of 5.

 “Paper Cuts Scissors” by Holly Black

Justin struggles to find a way to rescue his girlfriend Linda from the book she put herself into after they had a fight.  His best hope is Mr. Sandlin, a man who can bring characters out of books.  Thanks to another, as well as Sandlin, Justin finds answers and a possible solution.  An intriguing premise handled with a delicate touch.  Lovely.  4 out of 5.

 “Summer Reading” by Ken Liu

When mankind left Earth for the stars, the planet was turned into a museum overseen by robots.  CN-344315 was the robot docent of the library.  It had been five thousand years since he last had human visitors.  The servers are gone, but CN-344315 had a tiny room filled with his favorite treasures: a selection of books protected behind an airtight glass.  A visitor reminds CN-344315 of why books are important.  Wow!  I’ve come across Liu’s work in my SF magazines over the years and have always enjoyed his stories.  I do believe this might be one of my favorites.  Short, sweet, and wonderful.  5 out of 5.

 “Magic for Beginners” by Kelly Link

I’m not certain how to explain what this story is about.  There’s a TV series and the characters in this story watch the series yet are also an episode of the same series.  Gave me a bloody headache.  There was so much potential, but it twists around itself until I finally gave up trying to understand it as a bad deal and just slogged through.  Weird beginning, no real ending.  Just a mess.  2.8 out of 5.

 “The Inheritance of Barnabas Wilcox” by Sarah Monette

Booth is surprised to hear from Barnabas Wilcox, a former classmate and bully.  Wilcox needs someone to catalog his late uncle’s library.  Booth senses something twisted at Hollyhill, the uncle’s estate. Creepy, horror of the emotions rather than blood and guts.  In other words, my kind of horror tale.  4 out of 5.

 “The Midbury Lake Incident” by Kristine Kathryn Rusch

When the Midbury Lake Public Library burned to the ground, librarian Mary Beth Wilkins was upset, not only because of the fire, but that she wasn’t notified.  Grief would come later, once Mary Beth has left for a new life.  Very nice, just enough backstory to intrigue the reader. I do wish there had been more. 3.5 out of 5.

 “With Tales in Their Teeth, from the Mountain They Came” by A. C. Wise

After she loses her lover in the War, she goes to the Library on the Mountain, becoming an acolyte now named Alba.  She stries to find solace in the quiet, but mostly struggles. Then she meets a novice named Eleuthere who hides secrets beneath his robes.  Very magical, almost dreamlike.  4 out of 5.

 “What Books Survive” by Tansy Rayner Roberts

When the Invaders came, every electronic device died immediately, even battery-run ones.  Katie Scarlett Marsden was almost halfway through Wuthering Heights when her Kindle died.  Once the town built a barricade, she was separated from the school library.  Wanting more to read, Katie slips past the barricade one night, finding more than she expected.  A very weird dystopian story, enthralling and filled with twists.  4.5 out of 5.

 “The Librarian’s Dilemma” by E. Saxey

Jas was hired to bring libraries into the 21st Century.  Saint Simon’s librarian Moira doesn’t mind the security measures he can provide, but she isn’t interested in sharing the contents of their Special Collection outside the library’s walls.  I understand the dilemma in this story and, frankly, I’m not certain which side I would support in regards to the sharing of dangerous material.  4 out of 5.

 “The Green Book” by Amal El-Mohtar

There is little that I can tell you about the story without spoiling it, so I’ll live it with that it is a story about a mysterious green book and its contents.  I mostly liked it.  I think. Yet it felt like it was more a rough sketch than a complete story.  3 out of 5.

 “In the Stacks” by Scott Lynch

Magical student Laszlo Jazera discovers the dangers of the final assignment for Fifth Year, one he must pass to make it to Sixth Year.  It seemed simple enough, return a book to the Living Library.  The task will be more frightening and intense than he could ever have expected.  There is a tragic sadness throughout this story, but the universe created is horrifyingly compelling.  4.5 out of 5.

 “A Woman’s Best Friend” by Robert Reed

On Christmas Eve, Mary sees a stranger stumbling through the snowy streets of her town. George is confused and frightened, soaked from head to toe. Mary impulsively takes him back to her home in the library. A strange retelling of a classic Christmas film, a mixture of fantasy and science fiction. Interesting, a bit strange at the end. 3.5 out of 5.

 “If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler” by Xia Jia

A lonely librarian discovers a book of poetry that might expand his world.  There is magic about this tale that touches the reader’s soul.  I loved how the people who wanted the poetry read and appreciated on its own merits, not for the possible backstory of the author.  4 out of 5.

 “The Sigma Structure Symphony” by Gregory Benford

Ruth is one of many librarians mining for useful information in recordings from the SETI project.  After the death of a fellow librarian, Ruth is asked to take over his task, mining the Sigma Structures.  Math and music, language and love.  Are they simply human-based?  Weird. Confusing.  Engrossing at the time yet left a sour aftertaste.  3 out of 5.

 “The Fort Moxie Branch” by Jack McDevitt

Mr. Wickham, in the process of disposing of his privately published novel, is caught in a blackout. During that darkness, he sees a strange glow in a long empty house.  I love the idea of this story.  A fascinating premise from start to finish.  4 out of 5.

 “The Last Librarian” by Edoardo Albert

Books, actual physical books, have been ignored in favor of uploaded versions or neural inputs.  The librarian at the British Library finagles a way to direct traffic physically into the building.  Unfortunately, it doesn’t go well.  In today’s world, I fear this could happen.  Maybe not now, but very soon.  I was surprised that the narrator remained at the end.  4 out of 5.