#my cousins are all chinese. my mum is the only one who married a black man. her sisters & brothers all married Chinese spouses

[narryleomessi]

have any of you ever hated a player so much that you don't want your team to win any trophies or leagues for as long as that motherfucker plays in your team???

Like you love your team so much, been supporting that club for 15+ years/since childhood because it's your dad and granddad's club, you love the other players immensely, but this one player grates on your nerves so much, like you fucking hate his guts, so now you don't want your team to win in the upcoming season because you don't want that one guy you despise to lift the trophy, get a medal, celebrate happily, or be on a winners bus parade ever.

I know this is soooooo irrational and ridiculous, i'm fully aware this is such a shitty thought, like why don't you want your childhood club and 25 other good players to win but you can't stop your brain from having this negative thought and intense hatred. The manager is stupid af too so they are going to lose on their own accord.

[doroyamz]

Love in Accra

The road looked like it was sweating.

Rain. Heavy rain. The rush hour traffic on the 37 Military Hospital Road had come to a standstill. The downpour, from nowhere, was a welcome distraction for Tony. Last night’s encounter with his wife, Alicia, still all too fresh in his mind.

Cars were barely moving along on in the ever-rising storm.

He felt a movement on his right thigh but was too preoccupied with his thoughts to give it any attention. Esi by this time was growing restless, tired of Tony’s now constant rebuffing of her advances. Last night, and for many nights in the past month, he was totally limp when she unzipped him, a far cry from the throbbing pistol that had thrilled her to no end when they first began their countless rendezvous.

In those early days, they were lust personified. Crazed and addicted to each other beyond reason. Their constant need to feel each other’s skin had a near cataclysmic pull on them and their respective worlds. Alicia got pregnant in those early days, an event Tony privately regarded as a spillover from being with his now long-standing mistress. Esi’s marriage was virtually in the gutter. She often showed up at home disheveled and night after night, retired to her marriage bed wearing a satisfying post-coital daze on her face. Her husband, would just watch her. Mute and completely emasculated.

But now her once insatiable incubus was limp to her touch. She could not understand it.

xxx

Alicia had found the video on his phone.

Tony’s entire world came to a screeching halt. His throat was so dry, he wasn’t sure if he had one anymore. He stood paralyzed; the phone screen thrust in his face. Cocked his head at an angle as if in disbelief at the two actors in the tiny screen.

The man in the screen was bald, tall and dark and looked very much like him. He stood at about 6”3 with an NBA player’s build and had the beard to match. The male actor was indubitably approaching climax and his voluptuous female understudy, on cue, fiercely gripped onto dear life – which in that moment, was her male lead.

The ochre-skinned woman in the screen was of the finest fettle. Folasade was a full-blooded Nigerian but her unapologetic curves screamed South Africa. She looked like a Marvel comic heroine brought to life.

Fola and Tony met at a seminar for West African business executives at the Kempinski Hotel, a few months after his wedding. Fola was leading a breakout panel session which Tony sat in on, intoxicated by her form and presence. The two had exchanged steamy glances all day long, making no attempt to restrain their mutual intentions for each other when the conference ended.

Tony could never get enough of Fola and in Tony, Fola had found a man who could satisfy her every whim. They could go for months on end without so much as a text message to each other. But whenever contact was made, their respective schedules were cleared until further notice. They were fully aware that their combined desire was a vast black hole with the potential to consume them, so they took conscious steps to maintain some modicum of balance in their meeting arrangements.

The night the fated video was shot, Fola was headed for a month-long business trip in Morocco. They had arranged to meet at her private office on Volta Street in the Airport Residential Area.

Fola’s suggestion to record themselves as a temporary parting memento was inexplicable to Tony. Her claim that it would be something that would hold her while she was away, seemed puzzling to him. Her feigned desperation, even more perplexing.

Tony was completely against the idea of recording their liaison. Remonstrating over and over again about how technology and affairs of love should never cross. Fola ogled him for a while, offered tiny chuckles as he groped her every now and then during his rant.

Tony became so engrossed in his personal deliberations that he missed her slip into the bathroom. When he finally took a moment to break from his monologue, he was out of breath and had worked up a sweat. The man felt he just needed to wash away all traces of that unholy proposal.

Once on the other side of the bathroom door, Tony became Pavlov’s Dog.

That was over a year ago and Fola still hadn’t returned from her trip.

His mind slowly drifted back to the screen. The soft moans and cries. The sound of skin on skin rhythmically playing from the Samsung phone speakers.

He didn’t feel shame. He didn’t feel regret. He heard Alicia’s cries, felt her pain slide across his skin. He just stood there. Numb.

xxx

“We have asked around about Tony…Alicia…for your sake, for your parents’ sake, for all our sakes…please…do not marry this man.”

One of the many admonitions Alicia fielded from her aunts and cousins after announcing Tony’s marriage proposal at her younger sister’s festive birthday party.

In the ensuing weeks after her announcement, the family matriarchs conducted an extensive background check to gather as much intel as they could on her suitor. From what Alicia’s mum told her the matriarchs searched far and wide, even unearthing some very unsavory stories about Tony’s maternal grandfather in Mampong, a township in the Ashanti region.

The women came back with a most damning report on Alicia’s debonair Asante. Alicia, however, was defiant and unmoved by their findings.

She stood up to address the mini-assembly.

“Each woman here knows how highly I value them. You have all shaped me, guided me and helped me become the woman I am today,” she said in a restrained voice.

“But with all respect, none of you know Tony like I do. You don’t know what I see in him, his potential. The depths of emotion I have felt in the time I’ve gotten to know him. None of you can know that. He’s not perfect, Lord I know he’s far from it, but I know he’s the one for me. Nothing you say or do can make me feel differently.”

She loved Tony deeply. She had never believed she was capable of loving a man, let alone marrying one, after all the damage she had seen men wreak in and around her life. And Tony had flaws, many serious ones, but he had a certain light to him and he had showed her honesty and a vulnerability she had never known men to possess.

Deep down, she believed she could change him, iron out his weaknesses and over time drive out his especially troubling womanizing habit. She knew he liked women and on countless occasions, with her own eyes, she noticed the magnetizing effect he had on them. Alicia also believed some of his troubles with women lay in the fact that he was a true empath. That he, unfortunately, had never learned to draw boundaries to his empathy which inadvertently led to his many ‘situationships.’ 

“I won’t lie Alicia. I know I have a woman problem. It’s like an addiction. The intimacy, the need to connect, the sex.” They were having lunch at the Hinlone Chinese Restaurant in Labone. The night before, as they lay in bed, Tony had told he loved her for the first time. Alicia simply smiled at his declaration, electing to play it cool although inwardly, she was beside herself with joy.

Flashes from the video.

The woman’s legs splayed. Tony’s thrusts. The glistening sheen of sweat.

“But I swear to you, most of my things with these women often start out because I pity them or I want to help them in some way…along the line, things just get muddled up and…I lose my way...”

The woman crying out in throes of pleasure.

Her mind was a broken dam. Thoughts, memories and conversations flooded her head and receded at their own leisure.

She wondered why these memories and conversations were coming up at this time. The video was still a freshly opened gash, one she had already accepted was going to be a large and permanent scar. But for the other flashbacks, she questioned their relevance to her current predicament.

He was always a monster. Why was I pretending all this time that he wasn’t? Who was I kidding?

The video was the bomb but Tony’s desensitized demeanor and harrowing forced confessions were the firestorm. She knew there was so much more he would have confessed to if she had had any more emotional stamina during her five-hour interrogation of the stranger she called her husband. She had been beyond foolish.

Time had lost its meaning. She had spent three days huddled in the corner of their bedroom tormented by her broken heart and mind.

Alicia just wanted to disappear.

xxx

One week and seventy-seven unanswered calls had passed since the explosive encounter. Tony wasn’t sure if Alicia was alive.

He was parked outside the Total House Clinic in Adabraka on a Saturday morning. Completely engrossed in his thoughts and yearning for divine intervention to offer him some guidance. Since his exposé, his mind had been in a fog that thickened with each passing day. The only silver lining were the test results from his urologist. Tony’s recent erectile issues were deemed a stress response and his dysfunction persisted due to a lack of proper rest. He needed to relax.

His wife was even more inaccessible now than she’d been during the miscarriage. For Tony, the miscarriage was a living hell made more intolerable by how suicidal Alicia had been. He was disappointed to have lost the baby especially after how hard they’d tried over the years but a small and, perhaps, darker part of him felt relieved. He didn’t think it was right to have conceived a child with his wife barely an hour after stealing sordid moments with another woman. A woman he met through his wife. In his mind, it was perhaps the universe’s way of warning him that he had gone too far this time. He would never have been able to look at that child without seeing Esi in his mind’s eye.

This time though, he had overstepped the good faith that the universe seemed to constantly extend to him. He knew his credit line with the powers-that-be was now in the red and would stay there indefinitely. His latest debt, while not his most damning by a long shot, was irredeemable. He had nowhere to hide. There were no more lies he could spin around Alicia.

But he needed her. He couldn’t lose his North Star. She was the only thing that prevented his chaotic nature from engulfing him or so he thought. Surely, after all these years she knew what she was signing on for. Why was she so surprised? That video was nothing compared to the numerous other unspeakables he’d committed over the course of their marriage. Of all the things to do him in, it had to be a twenty-minute porno. What a sick joke.

In a bloodrush, he let out a hollow scream. His mind was drowning in haphazard thoughts.

“What have I done? God what have I done?” he blurted out repeatedly at his steering wheel, as he fought to hold back tears.

“Why? Why now? Why did it happen like this?” he plaintively questioned.

No answer.

Deflated and resigned, he took out his work phone and called the only person who would always welcome him with open arms and accept him for the depraved and gluttonous animal he was.

xxx

Incense burned as Jill Scott’s ‘He Loves Me’ played softly from the soundbar. The room had been steamed to perfection.

The Executive Suite at the La Beach Hotel was their favourite love nest. Any sexual fantasy - from orgies to swing parties - either party happened to be in the mood for or could imagine, this was the room that staged its enactment.

Tonight it was just the two of them.

The toned, dark-skinned Ga woman on the bed was in her early seventies but inexplicably did not look a day past twenty. Tightly twisted Senegalese crochet braids, flowed magnificently from her scalp to her dainty waist. Her oval-shaped face remained flawless as did her soft, wrinkle-free skin. How she managed to defy time with her looks and poise was a much pondered upon mystery to all who knew her.

Dede was naked underneath a black, sparkling see-through gown. Her shea-butter glistened body glowed through the gown. A wet, willing and wanting goddess. Ready to be ravaged by her young midnight warrior. She rose to sit on her knees, directing her eyes to her nude captor’s crotch. She rendered a wry smile.

The warrior was flat-out flaccid.

“Mm,” she remarked, as she beckoned him to draw closer.

“Looks like our little man needs a little something before he comes out to play eh?” she teased in playful Ga.

He smirked as he approached her, only stopping when his groin and her face were level.

The mind-fog was still present but he closed his eyes as he begun to feel the slow and perfectly measured licking sensations in his nether region. Dede was always masterful with the things she could do with her mouth. Two lifetimes worth of experience to draw from.

Two minutes passed but Tony’s situation did not improve.

She paused to look up at Tony, “Is something the matter? You usually perk up for me with no effort. Have I done something wrong?”

“No…it’s not you love…,” he paused, longer than he’d intended.

“Just been under a lot of stress lately,” he sighed as he pulled away. He turned his back on the regal woman to look around the room for his clothes.

Dede wasn’t buying it. His tone. That pause. Something was definitely up. She had never known her beast to act or sound so tame in all the years she’d known him, not even during his grooming period.

“But you’re even more marvelous when you’re stressed…or have you forgotten Abidjan?” she asked, biting her lip.

He shrugged at her retort.

Tony was troubled by his recurring limpness.

xxx

Esi’s heart froze when she saw the Caller ID on her phone screen.

Alicia.

Why would Alicia be calling her? For what reason? Was it about Tony? Had she found out about them?

The phone was still ringing but Esi just stared at her mobile. A million worst-case scenarios flying around in her mind each time her ringtone looped over.

She decided she would not answer the call.

It’d been over eight months since they last spoke and the distance that had grown between them suited Esi, considering the increased frequency of her liaisons with Tony in those months. After years of clandestine maneuvers, she felt she was finally closing in on Alicia’s husband.

Both women had known each other from childhood. Esi even witnessed Alicia’s declaration of Tony’s marriage proposal.

The announcement was a mild shock for her at first but she remembered feeling something resembling happiness for her longtime friend. Alicia had found a man who could actually hold her attention. He had to be special. She’d seen Alicia turn down the most desirable of bachelors - a few of whom Esi herself subsequently sampled extensively - on countless occasions.

In her quiet moments, she sometimes wondered why her then soon-to-be-engaged friend seemed to routinely attract men of a higher caliber without even trying, while she often had to go above and beyond to pull a semi-decent man. She felt she was equally as - if not more - attractive than Alicia and just as accomplished professionally but somehow, she always seemed to come out second-best to her childhood friend when it mattered. These thoughts irked Esi more than she cared to admit to herself.

Alicia mirthfully introduced her old friend and soon-to-be-husband to each other a few days after her announcement.

Their eyes locked for a brief but intense moment during the exchange of pleasantries.

xxx

Nyarko Abronoma could not look at the man she called her son.

She was disgusted.

Why were the men in her family such cancers?

To the uninitiated, her family’s men were walking gods. Dazzling men who could bend the wills and desires of the staunchest hearts. They were gifted manipulators and they used their power to wreak havoc. Their preferred targets, were often women of high standing and character. They swarmed on these women like bees to honey. Once ensnared, their targets were mentally and emotionally stretched and bent beyond their limits, enduring relentless acts of gross disrespect and shame on account of these bedeviled men. And in no time, the prey merely became a shell of their former selves.

Nyarko, at the age of nine, saw her mother gradually lose her mind. A year later, a young Nyarko watched on as her mother was lowered into an unmarked grave. Both events, her father’s handiwork.

Her mother used to say that the men of Nyarko’s lineage were descendants of the fallen angels from the Book of Genesis. The Nephilim.

Even in her womb, she already knew Tony was one of them. Throughout her pregnancy, Nyarko prayed, fasted, sought the counsel of several spiritual leaders to save her unborn child. She desperately wanted her son to chart a different path than the men before him.

Tony didn’t know how to break the silence between them.

His mother had always been his trump card whenever things between him and Alicia were coming to a head. This time around though he was seeking his mother’s intervention as a Hail Mary. He knew she admired and loved Alicia. She would probably have traded her for him as her child if she had her way.

He told her what had happened, leaving out a few details.

Nyarko knew her son hadn’t told her everything.

She raised her head to observe her son. A beautiful boy with a Machiavellian heart. He was a poisoned chalice like his predecessors.

Tony looked away, uncomfortable with her soul-piercing stare.

“I can’t help you and I won’t,” she said in Twi.

He was stunned.

“I won’t let you drive that poor woman to the grave. If I help you, you are only going to repeat what your grandfather put my mother through and what my brothers did to their wives. Alicia is too much of a good woman for that. Too much. She deserves better. This time you have been exposed for all to see and we both know there are countless more lies and secrets behind those scheming eyes of yours!”

Tony’s throat tightened. He hadn’t anticipated this tirade from the old woman.

“You think I don’t know about you? The things you scurry around town doing like a possessed rat? I weep for Alicia everyday. I always pray to God to give her strength in dealing with you. You have no shame. Even during your wife’s miscarriage you had no decency, no respect for her, not an ounce of self-control. Hiding in and out of Accra with your concubines.”

Nyarko spat at her son’s feet.

“If anything should happen to Alicia, it will be on your head and I pray you pay for it.”

xxx

Three weeks and still no word from Tony.

Alicia’s call coupled with Tony’s prolonged radio silence led Esi to assume the worst.

She was driving back into Accra, via the Accra-Tema Motorway, after wrapping up a meeting in Tema's harbour area. Hawkers streamed along either side of her car, as she neared one of the highway's three toll booths.

Esi's mind was spinning. Everything seemed to be falling apart. Had she been stupid? Why couldn’t she be allowed to have her own slice of heaven? Was it a crime to want to be loved? She didn’t mean Alicia any harm but the connection between her and Tony was unavoidable.

Why was Tony all of a sudden ignoring her? Why weren’t they making love anymore? She knew  he had a harem of ‘playmates’ he could call on but he always came back to her. Was he over her? Had somebody else taken her place?

Too many questions with no answers. She wracked her brain to think of a solution, a way out through all the madness.

Dede. The Madame. The old woman would probably know something. She and Tony were close, a little too close for Esi’s liking. But Esi figured that a woman at that age didn’t have that long to live, no matter how well she kept herself or how many boys she gobbled up, so Esi was fine with their relationship. Besides she was on good terms with Dede, the three had had some raunchy episodes through the years.

Esi called Dede and inquired about Tony.

“I last saw him about a week ago but I haven’t heard from him since then,” Dede stated.

More worry for Esi. He had gone to see Dede but had not even bothered to call her for three weeks? What was going on with him? Was he over her? She knew Dede had some skills but the old witch had enough boy toys to keep her satisfied.

Dede hummed an Erykah Badu tune. Esi forgot she was still on the line.

“Thank you Dede. I’ll give him a buzz again.”

“Dear girl, hold on for a second please.”

Esi was caught off guard by The Madame’s request. Outside of their fervid love-ins, Dede was typically brisk and forthright with her.

“Have you noticed anything…strange about Tony lately?” Dede asked, an almost mischievous lilt in her slivery voice.

“Strange? What do you mean?” a puzzled Esi asked.

“His performance, has it changed in any noticeable way?” The Madame was sipping on something in the background.

“Oh Dede…,” Esi responded bashfully.

“My girl let’s not beat around the bush. Is anything different or not?”

The sudden firmness in The Madame’s voice unsettled Esi.

“W-Well…recently he doesn’t respond to my touch. You know…,” she didn’t know why she was so shy in speaking to Dede about her sexual affairs with Tony. She had seen the woman on all fours.

Static on the phone.

“He can’t get it up,” Esi muttered feebly.

“Mm..I see. Thank you Esi, that’s all I needed to know. Best of luck reaching him.”

The line cut.

Why would Dede ask that? Was she experiencing the same issues she’d been having with Tony?

The suspicion that had been floating in Esi’s mind for the past few weeks was too absurd to now consider an actual possibility. It was impossible for that to happen to Tony, he was too red-blooded, way too potent for that.

It couldn’t be.

No...no..not Tony...

Tony couldn’t be…?

No!

It isn’t possible. Tony couldn’t be impotent. The mere thought alone was utterly absurd.

But how else could she explain his sudden limpness? Plus Dede would never have asked that question if she hadn’t noti---

Esi fatally rear-ended her Nissan Qashqai into a heavy cargo truck.

xxx

Their luxury three-bedroom apartment home on Second Circular Road, Cantonments, was a stone throw away from the U.S. Embassy. It was a $600,000 property that Tony had astoundingly managed to wind down to a sale price just short of a $100,000. Alicia used to call him ‘Puppet Master T,’ for his uncanny ability to always get what he wanted.

Tony lingered outside the apartment door for nearly half an hour. He was jittery.

A flurry of deep and quick deep breaths filled his lungs as he steeled himself and turned the doorknob.

The apartment felt hostile as if it despised his presence.

His sweep around his marriage home confirmed Alicia had packed up, that much was clear. Their bedroom was half empty, with no trace of his wife left in the room. Alicia was gone and she was gone for good.

A small stack of papers was neatly arranged on the bed. Divorce papers and a small sheet with a number to call when he was done signing. That was Alicia, methodical and precise, even in the worst of circumstances.

Tony sat on the bed, staring at the divorce papers.

He wanted to call Alicia but thought better of it. She’d probably blocked him on all platforms. When his wife didn’t want to be found, she did it well.

The die was cast. There were no more moves he could play.

Something vibrated under his left thigh, briefly snapping him out of his self-pity. He shifted his weight to find the smoking gun that had ended everything.

Tony unlocked the phone to find a freeze-frame shot of a busty Fola in a most compromising position. Alicia must have watched the video countless times, trying to make sense of it all. Her soon-to-be ex-husband zoomed out of the video application to the notification center.

Ato, his closest friend and fellow degenerate, had just sent him series of confusing text messages.

The first message read: “Bro...I have been trying to reach you.” Tony checked his call log to indeed find several missed calls from his main man.

Second message: “I don’t know if you’ve heard already.”

Third: “Bro…I’m so so sorry about Esi...I can’t imagine what you’re feeling. I’m so sorry bro. Please call me if you need me. I’m here for you…”

xxx

Marijuana smoke filled the air of the love nest.

Tony’s head lay buried in Dede’s bosom. He was silent, as Dede gently stroked his head and offered hushed words of consolation.

She drew a few more puffs from her joint and moved it down to Tony’s lips but her wounded warrior declined.

They stayed silent for a lengthy period of time as Dede spaced out from the weed.

Memories of a lifetime’s worth of sexual dissipation with her favorite boy streamed across her mind. Despite her wanton admiration for his sexual prowess, she had grown to develop an affection for her former protégé over the years.

The Madame, as Dede was referred to by Accra’s high society, had known Tony since he was fourteen. Even as a sprightly teenage boy - and much to her pleasant surprise - he oozed raw potential with his savage-like lovemaking abilities. By seventeen, the boy could do things she had never known men to be capable of. He had a frightening and near bottomless appetite that bordered on the frenetic, that even her infamous grooming techniques couldn’t temper.

She shed an unseen tear for her paramour’s wasted manhood. To be completely robbed of his virility in his prime was a cruel blow from the gods.

Dede nonchalantly crushed the end of the burnt-out joint into an ashtray on the bedside table.

“It’s a pity but it seems I have no use for you anymore, my dear,” she said sofly.

Tony was still, his eyes shut. It was what he expected from his Madame.

“There’s a young French couple coming by shortly. Quite the adventurous duo. It’s a shame you wouldn’t be joining us,” she sighed airily.

“A shame,” he whispered.

She started running rings around his lips.

“You’re of course welcome to stay and watch if you please my love,” she said somewhat coyly.

Tony slowly reached for her moving hand and kissed it.

He rose from his resting place, stretched to his full height, and promptly made his way to the door without looking back.

“Tony..,” he heard Dede call out before he shut the door.

Two spirited European-looking girls gaily passed him in the lobby hallway.

As he stepped onto the elevator, the vivacious couple turned around to take in the view of the brooding stud exiting the floor.

xxx

Tony hopped over the fence that separated the La Beach Hotel premises from the beach.

It was a little past midnight and the cool and salty breeze of the sea, soothed Tony’s mood. The mind-fog was clearing up. Whether the fog’s retreat was a result of the second-hand smoke from the weed or the effect of the beach, he wasn’t sure but he was grateful.

It was a moonless, starless sky. The ocean’s waves roared gently, calling to him. He had been here before, in another life perhaps.

He took in the scene before him one last time and smiled. All was fair.

Tony took the first steps towards his death.

xxx

[mybukz]

Fiction: The Devil Wears Sarong Kebaya by Peter Soh

I loathed the sweltering heat since small, but it didn’t stop people from coming here. The street in front of my house, Jalan Tun Tan Cheng Lock, seethed with tourists almost every day.

When I was a kid, I often waved to people taking respite from the scorching sun in the goh kaki of our house. They took in the colourful English tiles on the walls and touched the intricately carved window panels. They asked my amah, the maidservant of our house, the meaning of the word inscribed on the jee hoe hung above our main door. My amah, Muijie, who looked after me 24/7, found the tourists rude peeking into our house. She shooed them away in her Cantonese accent and shut the doors.

Only a handful of tourists interacted with me. Muijie would say nothing if I wasn’t crying, but she would give a disapproving look with her sharp eyes if the unwelcomed guests stayed at the five-foot way for too long. She always told me strangers carried germs and I shouldn’t play with them.

I was too young to understand what germs was and continued to play with anyone standing on the goh kaki. After all, no one in the house played with me. Muijie was no exemption, and I figured she had no position in our house as everyone in the house, including my doting mama, called her by her name, Mui Fong. Only mummy called her Muijie and she told me to address the same to show my respect. I learnt from mummy that ‘jie’ means ‘sister’ in Cantonese.

Whenever I cried, Muijie would assume mother figure even though maidservants like her had taken the vow of celibacy to not get married for the rest of their lives. She combed her hair into a neat bun just like mama’s except that she did not stick in flower garlands nor cucuk sanggul. She simply secured her chignon with a hairnet and hairpins.

Whenever she swore at the people who made me cry, I found her dramatic gestures amusing and I would stop crying and start laughing. Her manoeuvres combined cadences and actions. She would stomp out to the goh kaki in her wooden clogs, and left hand on waist, she pointed her white handkerchief and lashed out in a concoction of Cantonese and Malay patois I could never comprehend.

Except the word ‘babi’. I knew it meant ‘pork’ because mummy always cooked babi pongteh for me. Braised pork was among the few non-spicy dishes served in the house, and I had no idea why Muijie spat the word ‘babi’ to people.

“Who else can defy mama’s order to call the ponderous servant Muijie if you give birth not to a boy?” said Aunty Sarah, my tua ee, whenever mummy was in the living room overseeing me with Muijie. Aunty Sarah was mummy’s eldest sister and I could sense she didn’t like me because she never hugged me. But she said nothing and would play with me when mama was present. I deduced that those who wore their hair up were fierce.

Although our street was named after Tun Tan Cheng Lock whose ancestral house was at House 111, mama preferred its Dutch name, Heeren Street. ‘Heeren’ means ‘gentlemen’ and mama adored the Dutch word, for it served as a reminder to us, the baba nyonya, to always be gentle, soft-spoken, and cultured.

Fond of this name, mama’s father, my kong cho, bought this house and built his family here. Mama was born here, and unlike the Chinese ladies who stayed with the husband’s family after they got married, for the baba nyonya family it is the other way around. Hence, mama, mummy and her sisters, including Aunty Sarah, all stayed under the same roof even though they were all married.

Perhaps the house could no longer accommodate more ladies in the house that a male—which was me—was born to relieve the situation.

Mama showered me with toys, a gold anklet, and a jade-and-gold talisman that bore the image of a ferocious carp for warding off evil spirits. I had never seen any of my cousins wearing the same talisman. They wore small bronze cylinders with floral motif and less elaborate craftsmanship. My bib was a colourful cross-stitch sewn by mama while my cousins’ were plain pink fabric. The fabric of my Chinese New Year clothes were bought in Arab Street in Singapore and never from the merchant who sold fabric door to door. Mama never uttered a word when Muijie had to coax me to finish my food while mama didn’t hesitate to admonish my cousins for eating too slow.

“Go to your room to learn how to stitch. If you can’t stitch, how are you going to do beading next?” mama said crossly.

Though I was very much pampered by mama, I had never seen her smile. She always pulled a serious face and never spoke much. She either cooked in the kitchen or stayed in the room to look after me. I was never allowed to join my cousins or enter their rooms. She threatened to throw my toys away if I ever went near them, especially Aunty Sarah. And I never managed to go near them even when mummy wasn’t in the house. Muijie would carry me back to my room or bring me to the front hall to look at the crowd. She tailed after me all the time and she did whatever mummy would do: cook, clean the house and look after me—except scold me.

It wasn’t long before I knew I had to move out from the ancestral house. When mama passed away one morning, papa decided to bring mum and me to the United Kingdom for good. Papa didn’t bother to explain or maybe I was too small to understand when papa broached his decision. I just knew we were leaving after mama was laid to rest and Muijie was to stay in the house to take care of the remaining family.

I was only five when I left Heeren Street, thinking that the plane would fall if fat people were on board.

*

The façade of the house looked bleak and uninviting. Patches of mildew decorated the walls instead of English tiles. The two ring-shaped copper door handles had gone rusty and the gilded window panels were replaced with metal poles. The house looked out of place compared to the many boutique hotels, museums, and restaurants that lined the street.

“Are you sure this is the house?” I asked father.

“Don’t be ridiculous. You stayed here before.” Father wasn’t impressed with my question. He took a deep breath before knocking.

No one responded. Father knocked again. This time, louder.

“Coming!”

Though faint, the voice was familiar. And before I could figure who, the door swung open.

Though wrinkles embedded themselves in her forehead and her hair had turned white, I recognised her. She was still plump and her hair remained impeccably combed. The only difference was her white hair had made her black hairnet and hairpins visible. And she walked with a slower gait.

“Muijie!” mum called out.

Muijie stood at the entrance and squinted to inspect the lady in sarong kebaya. There was a tinge of awkwardness between us.

“Oh! Siu nai nai! Oh gosh, I barely recognise you! You never put on the sarong kebaya before this! You look so pretty, adui! This sarong was bought for you by mama, right? What brings you here? You have been gone for almost 20 years!”

Before any of us could speak, Muijie glanced at us and continued her babbling.

“This must be gu yeh! You did not change at all. You are always looking dashing in your business suit. Come, give me your jacket. I wash it for you. You must sweat a lot just now. The weather is getting hotter nowadays.”

Muijie moved to pick father’s dark blue jacket on his hand but I held her hands.

“Muijie,” I said.

She looked up at me. I shook my head, to forbid her from cleaning the jacket. It seemed she couldn’t make out who I was for a few seconds if not for the presence of father and mum.

“You are…Ben. No no, I shall call you siu yeh zai,” Her hands shook.

I nodded and smiled. “Yeah, I am Ben. How are you, Muijie?”

“I almost can’t recognise you. But I have a hunch it’s you. You have grown so tall and handsome like your father. How are you doing at what is that place? England? You must be speaking like one of those ang mo now. Wait wait wait. Baba speaks good English. I think they learn more from you. Am I right, siu yeh zai?”

Muijie couldn’t stop patting my arms and conjuring her own narrative of our life in the UK. It had been 20 years since mama passed away. I couldn’t blame her for her imagination because I couldn’t even remember much of the happenings in this house, let alone imagine the lives of those people staying here.

I only remembered there were lots of ladies in the house but only mother and Muijie were close to me. Mama rarely played with me as she was busy chewing sireh or playing cherki with her friends. She would buy me sweets and treat mother to colourful sarongs from Indonesia whenever she won the mahjong-like game. My cousins were always hiding in their room doing what mama instructed—stitching.

“Who are those people? I told you not to simply open the door. Can’t you understand my language? Macam babi!” berated a lady walking towards the door.

“Siu nai nai has come back, dai siu nai! They have come back from what is that country? Eng… England!”

In a white blouse and sarong, the lady looked like mama.

It was Aunty Sarah.

*

“What happened to the family plaque? Don’t you know it is a great shame to have the jee hoe taken down? And where are the rest of the family?”

“Look at who is speaking now.” Aunty Sarah jeered. “You are not the matriarch of this family but I am. I can do whatever I want. Nampak-nampak dah kurang ajair sekarang. Remember your rank in this house and don’t be rude.”

Even though our house in the UK was far from looking like those in Heeren Street, the jee hoe formed the spirits of the baba nyonya family. Even though we didn’t have one in our UK home, I learnt its importance quickly.

“Mo kasi jee hoe jato, is it?” was one of mother’s admonition whenever I misbehaved when young. It is a rhetorical question if one would like the family plaque to fall down. The jee hoe implies the family aspirations and beliefs and one should live up to its expectations and protect the family name at all costs. It was no wonder why mother questioned the whereabouts of the family’s jee hoe as it wasn’t hung at the entrance anymore.

“I sold it,” Aunty Sarah said evenly. “We needed the money.”

“What do you mean by you needed money? We willingly left the house so that you can take over the house willed to us. We did not take a single cent distributed to us. And chau works as well. Your husband’s salary is a bonus for your monthly expenses. What do you mean by you needed money?”

“Things changed. Just like who you are. You didn’t even put on the sarong kebaya when mother was alive. What did you say that time? What–nist? Feminist?” Aunty Sarah scoffed. “You thought you could change the world after reading some magazines. How ambitious. Look at you now. Back to this house again. And putting on an archaic costume.”

“That’s none of your business, ta chi,”

“Then why are you here?”

“UK may face lockdown due to the coronavirus outbreak,” father chimed in. “And since Ben has just graduated, we thought this is a good time to come back after all these years, to take a short break.”

Aunty Sarah didn’t look at father. She looked straight into mother’s eyes. “You think this is a resort?”

“This is our ancestral home. I was born here just like you. And I gave birth to my baby in this house too! And this was my house actually! Not yours!”

Mother couldn’t contain herself. She raised from the mother-of-pearl chair and gazed at mama’s portrait on the wall. I remembered seeing this photo at mama’s funeral. Mother told me that mama liked this photo because people could see her giant kerosang thoh. The brooch used for fastening her baju panjang was indeed spectacular. I could tell it was quite heavily encrusted with stones.

But nothing was heavier than two sisters estranged from each other.

*

This was my first time stepping into Muijie’s room. It was as simple as her black-and-white attire. Besides a bed and a wardrobe, she had only a small table with a mirror, some hairpins, and a bottle of what seemed to be hair oil to me.

“Is this all you have?” I gasped.

“Yes. I don’t need so many things. The only time I am here is when I go to bed.” Muijie was folding her blouses and pants.

“Can you stop working for a while? I have so many things to ask you.”

Muijie stopped folding. She took a deep breath and turned to me.

“Take this, siu yeh zai. This room is very hot.” Muijie passed me a fan from her bed. “What do you want to ask?”

I lowered my voice. “What happened to the people in this house? And why are you still here? Where are the other maids?”

Muijie looked at me with a helpless smile. I could tell life was not easy for the past two decades. She came all the way from Canton to Malaya by herself at 16 and worked for several families before joining ours as a veteran amah. Our household was impeccably clean and she could remember each and everyone’s names, birthdays, favourite foods, medical conditions, and their foibles. Mama doted on Muijie so much that she cleared the remaining debts of Muijie’s voyage to Malaya and Muijie in return stayed working for us until her final day. And no one could call her Muijie even though she was the majordomo in the house.

That was the deal from mama. Muijie accepted it with no qualms. After all, no amah could spend her final days in her master’s house as it was deemed to bring bad luck. It was uncharacteristic for an amah to be assured a place to work and die in. Muijie surrendered herself to the deal, even though this could mean that some maids would take advantage and abdicate their responsibility, and show no respect to her. Rather than having no food, Muijie gave up her dignity.

“They have left the house. They are working for other families now,” Muijie slowly coughed out the stories.

“And where are ee teoh? And other aunties, uncles and their kids?”

“Your other aunties have moved out from the house as well.”

“Why?”

“Ever since your mama passed away, no one wanted to keep up with the traditions in this household. They sold the furniture and those precious paraphernalia to the antique collectors and moved to Singapore. Except those in the front hall. Dai siu nai said we should keep a few in case anyone visits the house. But no one visits the house. Till now. Who wants to come to a house that looks like a ghost house? I keep scrubbing the mildew off the wall but they grow back quickly! Especially when it keeps raining for days!”

“Then where is ee teoh? He should be here with tua ee, isn’t it?”

Muijie looked at me.

“Where is he?” I pressed for an explanation.

“Look at you. Still the same. No one can stop you from getting what you want.”

“Stop teasing me, Muijie. Tell me where is ee teoh? Did he die already? I don’t see an additional plaque in the ancestral hall just now.”

Muijie snatched my fan and knocked my head. “Choy choy choy. Spit before you say anything again.”

“I am sorry. I am just curious. I don’t remember seeing him when I was small.”

“Tai gu yeh is a businessman and he rarely comes back. He was here during your mama’s funeral but I guess you were too young to remember.”

“Is he coming back anytime soon?”

“I doubt it.”

“Why?”

Uneasiness welled up in Muijie’s face. I could tell there was more than just business trips.

I leaned forward and looked at her, conveying it safe to unlock any secret.

“Tai gu yeh will never come back because…” she paused. Muijie took a deep breath and rattled on. “…because he has a baby with his mistress!”

The door swung open. Aunty Sarah had let her hair down, and she looked ghastly under the kerosene. She lurched and slapped Muijie with all her might.

“You are leaving the house by tomorrow morning, do you hear me?”

“I am sorry, tai siu nai. I am sorry! I won’t tell this to anyone anymore. No, no. I mean I don’t know about this. I don’t know where is tai gu yeh. Please, please don’t chase me away. I have nowhere to go. Please, tai siu nai. Please…”

Muijie cried and knelt for forgiveness. I remained rooted to the spot and didn’t know what to do. I didn’t dare to look at Aunty Sarah, to avoid confrontation. I sweated and wished she would go back to her room.

“You want to stay here?” Aunty Sarah sneered.

“Yes. Yes. I can do all you want. Please. Don’t chase me away.” Muijie couldn’t stop sobbing. Snot dripped with her tears.

“You can stay here if I die! I don’t want to see you tomorrow! Go away!”

Aunty Sarah kicked Muijie and left the room. Muijie muffled her cries, covering her mouth. I felt bad for her.

“Muijie, she won’t chase you away. You will be here. You are the best amah in this house. She won’t kick you out.” I tried my best to comfort Muijie but deep down, I was frightened to death. Mother is going to lambaste me for my tactlessness. Why am I digging my own shit hole?

*

Just a few more hours to 6a.m. but I couldn’t sleep. I had made a huge mistake and had jeopardised Muijie’s work. No, it was her life. She had lived here for 30 years and where she could go?

I was engulfed with remorse. Father and mother still had no idea what their good-for-nothing son had done. Mother was going to chastise me for breaking the family’s jee hoe this time.

I went down to check on Muijie. I wanted to make sure she was sleeping. I wanted to let her know I would do my best to rectify the situation and she should not worry.

Muijie wasn’t in her room. Did she leave the house already?

I opened her wardrobe—her clothes were still there.

She is definitely in the house. Maybe she is in the kitchen preparing breakfast.

I went to the kitchen but there was no sign of her.

Where could she be? Ah! She must be with Aunty Sarah to beg for forgiveness.

I headed to Aunty Sarah’s room and I was right. The kerosene was not put out yet. Someone was inside.

I was puzzled at the sight.

Muijie was sitting on someone and with a sarong in hand, she covered the nose and the mouth of someone on the bed. I couldn’t hear anything but I could now see Aunty Sarah struggling to push Muijie off her.

It wasn’t long before she stopped moving. I stood horrified and I had yet to process what I had witnessed.

“Now I can stay here,” was all I could glean before running back to my room, not caring what would happen next.

*

Peter Soh is an ambitious Malaysian writer whose stories are about darkness, pain, struggles, identity searching and what it means to be a human being. He made his publishing debut with his short story, ‘The Missing Tomb’ in the ‘Emerging Malaysian Writers 2018’ anthology and has unknowingly written six features about the baba nyonya in Penang Monthly. He is currently teaching First Language English and Sociology in Kingsley International School.

[americas-new-bride-to-be]

Tagging game!

@rogerseyeliner  thanks for tagging me(you tagged me on my main blog @iidontgiveafuckuniverse ), darling!💕 :)

Rules: Tag the person who tagged you, answer the questions, tag 20 people(bold of you to assume I have 20 mutuals or even 20 irl friends xD)

1. How tall are you?: around 173-174cm or 5′7

2. What colour and style is your hair?: shoulder length sandy blonde hair naturally but I’ve dyed it every possible colour(neon pink, red, burgundy, black, white, brown, green, blue, purple etc) that now it’s a weird combo between blonde and brown xD

3. What colour are your eyes?: golden brownish colour

4. Do you wear glasses?: I should but I broke them and it’s useless to buy new ones cause I rarely wore them when I did have them

5. Do you wear braces? I did, for seven years and it was hell

6. What is your fashion style? My mum’s boyfriend jeans and shirts from the 80′s and my dad’s button-up shirts from the 80′s and 90′s...and just band shirts and lots and lots of plaid...and black

7. Full name: Anita P.(it’s Tumblr so I’m not really up to share my full name)

8. When were you born?: 1st of January 1998.

9. Where are you from and where do you live now?: I’m from Serbia a southeast European country, bordering with Hungary. Still living there but hopefully moving after UNI.

10. What school do you go to?: I’m going to UNI, studying literature.

11. What kind of student are you?: I’m doing this instead of studying for my finals in ‘Literature of the middle ages’ so that speaks volumes...

12. Do you like school?: Some parts of it, certain subjects and my friends. Let’s call it a love-hate relationship.

13. What are your favourite school subjects?: Theory of Literature and Chinese

14. Favourite TV shows: Supernatural, Riverdale, Grey’s Anatomy, War at Home, Friends, Mr Robot, Sherlock, The Big Bang Theory, Charmed(the original), Pretty Little Liars, Eastenders and American Horror Story

15. Favourite movies: The Butterfly Effect, Cruel Intentions, The Fault in Our Stars, Somewhere Only We Know, Keith, BoRhap, The Notebook, Chocolate, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, The Doors, Harry Potter franchise, Finding Neverland etc. 

16. Favourite books?: The Fault in Our Stars, The Maestro and Margarita, Faust I and II, The Sound and The Furry, How to Kill a Mockingbird, Fahrenheit 451, Ulysses, Waiting for Godot, Harry Potter, Madame Bovary, Escape From the Harem etc. 

17. Favourite pastime: Reading, listening to music, writing and procrastinating. 

18. Do you have any regrets?: No, because if I did something different I wouldn’t be the person I am today. 

19. Dream job: A political journalist, a writer or a book critic.

20. Would you like to get married someday?: Not really. I sometimes think marriage should just be illegal all across the board...I’m joking but for real, I see no significance in a piece of paper that is supposed to validate your love for someone or commitment or whatever else. To me, it’s a waste or time and money, but that’s just me. (a child of divorced parents is showing...)

21. Would you like to have kids someday?: Maybe, when I have my life somewhat sorted out. 

22: How many?: Three tops, but probably just two. I’d also like to adopt one so idk, I’m not sure yet...hell I’m only 21. 

23: Do you like shopping?: It’s stressful because I can never choose. So not really. 

24: What countries have you visited?: Michigan Washington and Chicago(US) as an exchange student, Egypt, Germany, Hungary, Croatia, Montenegro, Slovenia, Spain, France and Italy. (and this summer I’ll be going to visit my cousin in LONDON bitches)

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?: I can’t remember what the dream was but I couldn’t scream or talk which made me panic and once I realised I was dreaming I couldn’t wake up but I was dreaming that I woke up so that was fucked up. 

26. Do you have any enemies?: No, not really. I have people I dislike and people that dislike me but I wouldn’t go as far as to say we’re enemies. 

27. Do you have a s/o?: Yup, almost three and a half years. 

28. Do you believe in miracles?: I’m not sure, I haven’t figured that part of life out yet. 

I tag: @blushy-monkey @icangiveyoutheirnames @rogertayolr @imrogertaylorscar and @mymakeupmaybeflaking (I don’t have many Queen mutuals and these people I tagged, I follow you from my main blog @iidontgiveafuckuniverse xD)

[kwananntan]

Steamboat

The weekend my cousin got into the University of Edinburgh, our entire family was invited to Big Uncle and Aunt’s house for a steamboat dinner. This invitation was met with joy and excitement (on the part of my two younger twin brothers), but also dismay and dread (in the secret, but perhaps not innermost thoughts of Ma and I).

As we ascended the glass elevator that led to my uncle and aunt’s fancy apartment in the heart of Kuala Lumpur, Ma lamented the fact that she had such an incapable daughter, and warned my brothers not to follow my example, but to instead make sure that they looked up to and learned from my cousin. As usual, I pretended not to listen, while my younger brothers were too busy arguing about who had better aim and was more likely to hit a passerby on the ground with a mouthful of spit. It wasn’t that I didn’t care, but I had long learned to block my ears off from the words that spilled from Ma’s mouth like heavy rain during a period of haze. They left their oily-grey smoke trails on my skin, and I was so saturated with them I could sometimes tell what she was going to say before she said it.

Not for the first time that day, I wondered how different things would have been at these family gatherings if Ba had not abandoned us nearly ten years ago, and left Ma to bend over backwards to please her stuck-up family. We were so afraid of any shame that some of my more distant relatives did not even know that Ma was divorced—or pretended not to know. They assumed our father was always on a badly-timed business trip whenever we had to meet them. You must be so lucky to have a father that works so hard for you! They would say, while I would only grit my teeth and smile sheepishly, resenting my mother for putting us in this position. For all we knew, Ba was very well dead by now, or raising a mirror image of our family, one that was smarter and prettier and richer than ours.

‘Ah John, congratulations! We are all so proud of you. First in the family to go to university!’ Ma said, without a trace of resentment.

When my cousin opened the door, Ma handed him an ang pao and smiled sweetly, a rare event that would only occur five times across my lifetime, and directed to me only once, on the day I got married. She seemed to have conveniently forgotten the fact that I was already in a local university, having started on the January-December calendar rather than the Western one. Still, it didn’t count, since it was just a polytechnic. For many people, this didn’t seem like something to be proud of––it was a useful degree, but not as glamorous as the degrees from the exotic West. Never mind that we didn’t have the money for me to go overseas—it still somehow counted as a failing on my part.

For all his parents’ money, I was thankful that at least my cousin had some manners, and never rubbed anything in my face while we were growing up. The ang pao disappeared into his back pocket, and was tucked underneath his chequered shirt.

‘Come in, come in!’ Big Uncle boomed in Mandarin, face already red from early celebration, a sweating bottle of Tiger beer in his hand. ‘Why still standing in the doorway? No need to be polite!’

We crowded in and dutifully recited a roll call of greetings, from eldest to youngest relative. My Po Po was still in the living room catching the last few minutes of a Hokkien drama that never seemed to end. She was a small, bird-boned lady that always had her silver hair pulled back in a severe bun. Po Po also had perfect posture, regardless of whatever situation she was in––a trait that unfortunately not a single one of her children and grandchildren had. When I glanced at the screen, three characters were lost in an intense but circular argument about the identity of a child, eyes wide and earnest, as if this was the first time in the drama this had happened. Anyone who was able to maintain such dedication to their character over the course of five hundred or more episodes truly deserved an Oscar.

Po Po smiled when she saw us approach, flashing a full set of false teeth. I got a polite nod, while the twins got warmer hugs and head pats, my grandmother asking why they seemed to get thinner and thinner every time she saw them. She shook her head disappointingly at Ma, whose own lips thinned in response as she struggled to hold back a rude response to her mother.

Big Uncle and Aunt’s house had always seemed so big when I was a child. It was certainly expensive—Big Uncle was a businessman who had gotten lucky in the property development market, and was the more successful sibling on Ma’s side of the family. Their family could afford expensive trips to Europe, good international schools, and luxury cars. Meanwhile, it was a treat for our family if we occasionally got to take a road trip down to Penang or Melaka, local haunts which were more food adventures than life-changing cultural experiences. Big Aunt had once given me a small souvenir from Paris, a camera obscura with a tiny pinhole that gave me a panoramic view of the courtyards of the Louvre. That whole year, I nearly ruined my eyesight by squinting through the tiny thing to capture every detail, dreaming endlessly of walking those halls, escaping the moist heat of the tropics.  

My Big Aunt was busy in the kitchen, preparing the cooked and raw ingredients that would make up our family steamboat. Every inch of the kitchen counter was covered in dishes, and my stomach grumbled at the sight. She was the perfect stay at home mum and wife. Every time we visited, I couldn’t help but marvel at how immaculate the kitchen was, or how artfully yet another room renovation had been done. While my mother used Big Aunt’s life of leisure as the reason everything she did looked so perfectly put together all the time, I secretly thought that my Big Aunt had just never known bitterness, and so she couldn’t imagine any bitterness in the lives of others.

‘Mei-ah, how’s school?’ She asked, while arranging cloud-coloured, deveined prawns on a plate. They were so large that she was able to build them up into a small Jenga tower, black eyes spilling out of their heads. I replied that everything was fine, and nothing was too hard yet.

She turned off the bubbling pot of broth on the stove. ‘Your mother must be so happy that you’re living close by,’ she continued. ‘Xin tong ah, when I think about John going to Edinburgh. My big boy, all grown up now! I don’t know how I’m going to cope when the youngest will have to go too.’

I was handed a plate of fish bladders and beancurd to bring to the dining room, as she followed behind with four stacks of thinly cut shabu-shabu meat. In a matter of minutes, the spread was transferred from kitchen to table, with the huge steamboat pot taking the place of pride atop a portable electric hot plate.

‘Lai chi ah!’ Big Aunt called out loudly to everyone.

Steamboat is a meal that both embodies unity while promoting bitter divisiveness. The order of ingredients that go in are a hotly contested topic, and there is only as much space as the pot allows, so for hungry stomachs, it’s important that the things they like most go in first.

Meat first—for Ma and Big Uncle, who were rarely in accord on anything. Big Aunt and Po Po protested, saying that the vegetables cooked slower, and were needed to counteract the heatiness of the steamboat’s pork broth. The twins and our younger cousin tore their eyes away from their computer games and came over to add their noisy voices to the fray, calling out for meatballs stuffed with cheese and crab-sticks to be thrown in. Big Aunt lamented the fact that they didn’t have a pot with a divider in the center, so that we could have different soups and broths.

Eventually, all eyes turned to John who had already started on the side dish of fried dumplings while the adults bickered.

‘I like both meat and vegetables,’ he said. ‘But the vegetables do take longer to cook, so we should just leave them in while the broth boils. When everything is hot enough we can just dip the meat in and cook it instantly, so no one has to wait for anything.’

It was the obvious solution, but no one ever wanted to compromise in the beginning. The ingredients went in: huge leaves of Chinese cabbage that would shrink down as they were boiled, local Kai Lan that Big Aunt swore was a hundred percent organic, then some meat and fish balls to please the children. Ma and Big Uncle dipped in meat with their chopsticks directly into the boiling broth, and then into the mixture of soy sauce and chilli flakes in the smaller dishes in front of them.

We ate peacefully, as the talk turned to politics. Big Uncle laughed about another Malaysian politician’s alleged sex tape, while Big Aunt scolded him and said there were children at the table. Another corruption scandal. One of our relatives working in the government civil service had mentioned something or other to Big Uncle, ensuring that the rumours would spread further and further through the country until even primary school children had worked the words into their schoolyard games. Ma asked John about university—where was he going to live, and who was going to help him move all his things? Then to our younger cousin—would he miss his older brother? He shrugged in response, mouth full of food.

John hadn’t just gotten into a university overseas, but he was going to be the first doctor in our family. Big Uncle often boasted that if Po Po and Gong Gong had been rich enough to send him overseas, he would have been able to be a doctor too, and wouldn’t have had to start working at such a young age. I couldn’t think of a worse profession for him—with his red face and furrowed brows, staring down a patient as they tried to explain their symptoms. He was a much better businessman, with the courage to strong arm people into giving him what he wanted. John would probably be a good doctor. Luckily, he had inherited Big Aunt’s patience and thoughtful eyes, and I had never seen him frustrated or upset before.

Continue reading at Joyland

[the-netchiman]

Stolen from gf @lionel-del-rey

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

smol cousin at some family function a while back.

2. Are you outgoing or shy? Neither? 

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? My gf

4. Are you easy to get along with? Fuck no lmao

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? I have no doubt that they would try

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Funny, kind, down to earth people are cool

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I’m about to purchase a plane ticket for my gf so I severely hope we’re together by then lmao

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? ur mum

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? Only if it makes the person I’m talking to uncomfortable

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? My dad. I guess???

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “what the fuck do you want for chrimbus, you little bitch?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? Oh no I don’t know gonna pull these out my ass real quick Black Irish by The Devil Makes Three Almost Blue by Chet Baker Desperado by The Eagles Stillborn (acoustic) by Black Label Society 512 by Lamb of God

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? idk? 

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes

15. What good thing happened this summer? I got to visit a friend in Texas. Other than that, my summer went by in a big shitty blur.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Not for all the money in the world

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Ye

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nop

19. Do you like bubble baths? Ye

20. Do you like your neighbors? I don’t dislike them. I don’t speak spanish, so we haven’t talked much.

21. What are you bad habits? I stress myself out over little things too often

22. Where would you like to travel? Ireland would be cool, but I definitely could never go there. Outside of that, idk, anywhere is cool

23. Do you have trust issues? oh yes

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Eating

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? My chest or my neck

26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? I think its a fine how it is

28. Who are you most comfortable around? My friend Ari I guess

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yes

30. Do you ever want to get married? wow what an awkward question to have on something my gf is for sure going to see (yes)

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? ye

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Oh, idk

33. Spell your name with your chin. dickhead

34. Do you play sports? What sports? Not any more, but I used to play Football (American) and boxing 

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? Tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Nah. Well yeah, but they figured it out eventually lmao

37. What do you say during awkward silences? “wow this got awkward”

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Mark Ruffalo

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Nerd stores (y’know, where nerds gather to play cards and dnd and stuff, occasionally comics are also there) and music stores. I’d spend all day in guitar center if no one stopped me.

40. What do you want to do after high school? Already out, and lemme tell you I’m already not doing what I wanted to do

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Most people. A few people definitely deserve nothing less than a life time of suffering.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? Nothing, or something. I’m quiet most of the time.

43. Do you smile at strangers? I think I do but I have the resting bitch face big time so I mostly just look slightly less mad at people in public

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? The ocean would be fantastic

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Mr Socks won’t SHUT THE FUCK UP

46. What are you paranoid about? oh, y’know, most things

47. Have you ever been high? Oh yes

48. Have you ever been drunk? frequently 

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? yes, but not because i’m embarrassed, just don’t want to upset anyone

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else? Nah. Careful what you wish for, right? Don’t want to say that and then wake up to find I’m somehow an even bigger piece of shit.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? Wish I were in better shape, but I’m working on that so

53. Favourite makeup brand? Don’t wear it, so my favorite is whatever my gf asks for lmao

54. Favourite store? Guitar Center. lemme obnoxiously test pedals all day

55. Favourite blog? dunno

56. Favourite colour? Red. a certain shade of blue is pretty good too.

57. Favourite food? Anything featuring potatoes 

58. Last thing you ate? a fuckin 1/4 cup of cheese. my diet has been weird recently.

59. First thing you ate this morning? Nothing yet, but I have designs on some tacos

60. Ever won a competition? For what? ye, a few. i hate bragging so im not going to go into detail, but i used to actually be good at things.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? Yep. suspended two or three times for getting into fights, one time for accidentally bringing a knife to school. weirdly, the girl that decided to pull the thing out of my pocket got in no trouble at all.

62. Been arrested? For what? No, but boi have i come close

63. Ever been in love? i am, at this moment, very in love

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? Not really much a story? It was an awkward childhood kiss.

65. Are you hungry right now? Yes, very. waiting on me uncle tho

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? don’t really have tumblr friends

67. Facebook or Twitter? Fb

68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr for art, twitter for memes

69. Are you watching tv right now? nah

70. Names of your bestfriends? Ari, zach, mr socks

71. Craving something? What? Oh y’know things

72. What colour are your towels? Got turquoise, black, blue, purple, white. 

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Nah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Got a few plush pokemon, i guess that counts?

75. Favourite animal? Really like bears

76. What colour is your underwear? N/A

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? oh, uh, cookie dough? oreo? orange sherbet? can’t decide.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? N/A

80. What colour pants? look if the last two clothing questions didn’t tip you off, i’m naked. are you happy now?

81. Favourite tv show? oh, idk. haven’t really had the interest in shows since i got super depressed like a year ago lmao

82. Favourite movie? i guess kung pow?

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD EVER PICK 2? 

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean girls

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? that chick that made out with a hot dog that one time. big mood.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? The stoner turtle

87. First person you talked to today? My gf

88. Last person you talked to today? My uncle

89. Name a person you hate? just one? nah.

90. Name a person you love? my gf (duh) all these friends i met on the internet, and some of my family i guess

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? so, so many people. 

92. In a fight with someone? like, currently? how would i be doing this?

93. How many sweatpants do you have? don’t wear sweats

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? a couple

95. Last movie you watched? uhhhhhhhhh something shitty on netflix, probs

96. Favourite actress? oof uh, idk. 

97. Favourite actor? also dunno

98. Do you tan a lot? got them irish genes, i burn

99. Have any pets? Mr. Socks, the best cat in the world and i will fight anyone who disagrees. 

100. How are you feeling? Cold

101. Do you type fast? Nope

102. Do you regret anything from your past? Not really. If they didn’t happen, i wouldn’t be where i am now

103. Can you spell well? dubya eee ell ell. fuck you.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? kinda? define past.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? ye

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? i would hope not, but maybe

107. Have you ever been on a horse? ye

108. What should you be doing? going to the store

109. Is something irritating you right now? always

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? YES

111. Do you have trust issues? Yes

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? an ex, probably

113. What was your childhood nickname? didn’t really have a nickname

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yep

115. Do you play the Wii? I have a wiiu, but i don’t really play it much. its mostly the netflix machine now

116. Are you listening to music right now? Autumn Leaves by Chet Baker

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Fucking yes

118. do you like chinese food> YE BOI

119. Favourite book? don’t know

120. Are you afraid of the dark? Nah

121. Are you mean? I think so. others say different. its weird, man

122. Is cheating ever okay? in a relationship? no. in a video game to give your character a giant bobble head? absolutely.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? the trick is to not wear white shoes

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No lmao

125. Do you believe in true love? as opposed to fake love? i guess???

126. Are you currently bored? ye

127. What makes you happy? knowing that others are happy

128. Would you change your name? nah

129. What your zodiac sign? taurus

130. Do you like subway? not compared to my other sub options

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? i don’t know. she’s married, so like...what the fuck how 

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my dad, i guess

133. Favourite lyrics right now? I've held the hand of God and I've sang the Devil's song And when it comes my time no tears are gonna fall But some will light the fire and some will mourn the one Left longing for the ire of, of their departed son.

134. Can you count to one million? ain’t got that kinda time, fam

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I don’t really lie? I think i just say dumb shit and people take me seriously 

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed

137. How tall are you? 5′5. I’m a manlet.

138. Curly or Straight hair? no preference

139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette

140. Summer or Winter? Winter

141. Night or Day? Night

142. Favourite month? idk, december i guess because i have a mandatory week off work,

143. Are you a vegetarian? I wish, I don’t have the willpower.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Dark chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee? tea. coffee is more of a tool for me? gotta wake up, tea is just good.

146. Was today a good day? dunno yet

147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote? don’t really remember quotes

149. Do you believe in ghosts? Kinda

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“As I approached the northern cliffs where I’d find the Serpent’s Sanctum, I could see the soaring towers of Skyreach off to my right.”

[winchesters-love]

Get To Know Me!!! A Little Too Well

1. Name: Nicole 2. Nickname(s): Nik, Nikki 3. Birthday: June 21 4. That makes you: 18 5. Where were you born: Nebraska 6. Location right now: Same place 7. Shoe size: 7 8. How many piercings?: None 9. Tattoos?: None, but I'd love a few <3 10. When you wake up you're: Confused and even more tired 11. When your about to sleep you're: Wide awake 12. Zodiac sign: Cancerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr/Gemini 13. Chinese sign: Rabbit 14. Righty or Lefty: Righty 15. Innie or Outie: Innie 16. School: Out of school :P Section Two: Looks 17. Nationality: White 20. Weight: 110 lbs 21. Height: 5'6 22. Braces? No 23. Glasses? Yes Section Three: Private Life 24. Do you have a boy/girlfriend? I do! 25. If so, who? The love of my life, Nate 26. If not, do you have a crush on someone? My boyfriend 27. Who has a crush on you? No one haha 28. Ever cheated on your bf/gf? Nope 29. Who was your first kiss: Nate, he kisses pretty good 30. Who was your last kiss: Nate <3 31. Are you a virgin? Yes 32. Ever had a threesome before? No 33. NQ- Ever been swarmed by ladybugs?: Nope 34. Have you ever been in love? Yes 35. Broken any hearts? Not that I know of 36. Got your heart broken? Quite a few times 37. Ever liked a friend? Yea 38. What happened? We started dating

Section Four: Past Relationships 39. How many relationships have you been in? 1 40. How many were serious enough to count: I'm in it 41. Who were those serious ones: I've only been in 1 42. NQ- Who USED to be your best friend: Well, he's still my best friend so 43. What made them different: Nothing 44. What happened: We started dating 45. Best boy/girlfriend: The one I'm dating 46. Worst boy/girlfriend: N/A 47. Ever been kissed: Yes 48. Who do you want back: No one 49. What do you regret: Focusing too much on guys 50. Why? Because I would've done so much better in school Section Five: Favourites 51. Song: Sound of Silence 52. Movie: Zootopia 53. Food: Anything really 54. Drink: Apple Juice 55. Store: Gamestop and Hot Topic 56. Television show: Stranger Things and Mom 57. Holiday: Christmas 58. Book: Grace Lost Series 59. Ice cream: Mint Chip 60. Sweets: Chocolate 61. Crisps: Doritos Jacked 62. Type of music: Pretty much every genre 63. Artist: Singer is Luke Bryan, Painter is Bob Ross 64. Word: Loquacious, vernacular 65. Time of day: Evening/night 66. Dressing: Ranch 67. Alcoholic drink: Don't drink 68. Colour(s): Blue, Red, Black, and White 69. Piece of clothing: Beanie 70. Character: My fursona 71. Smell: Fresh rainfall 72. Shampoo: Fructis 73. Soap: Fructis 74. Smiley: >3 75. Board game: Too many tbh 76. Sport: Soccer 77. Number: 5 78. Quote: "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." Franklin D. Roosvelt 79. Animal: Wolf 80. Actor: Ryan Reynolds/Chris Pratt 82. Vegetable: Sugar snap peas 83. Fruit: Grapes 84. Place to be: In my room 85. Thing in your room: Pictures 86. Gum: 5-gum 87. Shape: Circle 88. Country: Europe 89. Mall: Any mall 90. Car: 67 Chevy Impala 91. Boy's name: Christopher 92. Girl's name: Chrissy 93. Family member: My brothers and my dad 94. Restaurant: Johnny Carinos 95. Movie place: The theater 96. Person to go to the movies with: Myself 97. Noise: Falling rain 98. Brand of Shoe: Airwalks 99. Brand of clothing: Aeropostle 100. Body part of a chicken: Thigh 101. Swear word: Asshat 102. Month: December 103. Possession: My ring 104. Team: Don't have a favorite 105. Season: Winter 106. Radio station: Pop station 107. Magazine: Don't read them 108. Favourite grade: Senior year 109. Least favourite grade: 5th grade 110. Teacher: Kindergarten 111. Least favourite teacher: Math teacher in 5th grade, he was a douche 112. Subject: Art/Choir 113. Subject to talk about: Anything and everything Section Six: Family 114. Who's your mum?: Not here 115. Who's your dad?: My role model 116. Any step-parents?: Yea, had a few 117. Any brothers?: 2 118. Any Sisters?: Nope 120. Coolest: Older brother 121. Loudest: Me 122. Best relative: My cousin 123. Worse relative: No one 124. Do you get along with your parents? My dad, yea 125. With your siblings? Mostly, we game with each other 126. Does anyone understand you? Yea 127. Do you have any pets? Nah 128. If so, what kind and name? 129. If not, what do you want as a pet? I want another dog, we had to get rid of ours Section Seven: School 131. Are you still in school? Nope 132. Did you drop out?: 2.75, I didn't pay attention freshman and sophomore year 133. Your current GPA: No thanks 134. Do you buy or bring lunch?: School bill paid for it 135. ABC's?: Know them 136. Favorite class: Choir and art 137. Play any sports at school?: Played soccer 138. Are you popular? With the outcasts 139. Favourite memory: Being the only girl good at soccer 140. Most humiliating moment: Falling in front of my close guy friends 141. Most funniest moment: Hitting someone in the face with a soccer ball 142. Most scared moment: Graduating Section Eight: What do you think of when you hear 145. Chicken: Bawk bawk 146. Dog: Soft puppy 147. Christina Aguilera: Music 148. Ricky Martin: Who? 149. 50 cent: Rapper 150. Poop: Emoji 151. Beach: Sand 152. Dessert: Cactus 153. Water: Blue 154. Osama: Bin Laden 155. Love: Life 156. Your little brother: Xbox One 157. Butt: Nice 158. Clowns: Pennywise 159. Wonder: Over Yander 16o. Brown: Pants 161. Banana: Yum 162. Sex: Rope 163. Parents: One 164. Homosexuals: Jensen and Jared 165. God: Father Section Nine: Do you believe in 166. God: Yes 167. Heaven: Yes 168. Devil: Yes 169. Hell: In a sense 170: Boogey man: No 171. Closet Monsters: Nah 172. Fortune telling: Nope 173. Magic: Nuh uh 174. Love at first sight: Depends 175. Ghosts: Nope 176. Voo-doo dolls: Nah 177. Reincarnation: Nope 178. Yourself: Ehh, not really Section Ten: Do you 179. Smoke: And kill my lungs? No thanks 180. Do drugs: Pfft, why would I? 181. Drink alcohol: Again, I'm not trying to die at a young age 182. Cuss: Yea 183. Sing in the shower: Sometimes... 184. Like school: Yea, it was the best place to be! 185. Want to get married: Mhmm, and I'm glad I found someone 186. Type with all of your fingers: Not really 187. Think you're attractive: Most days 188. Drink and drive: Fuck this 189. Snore: Sometimes 190. Sleep walk: Nope 191. Like watching sunrises and sunsets: Best place to be honestly Section Eleven: Have you ever 192. Flashed someone: On accident 193. Gotten so drunk til you threw up everywhere: I don't drink 194. Told that person how you felt: Yep 195. Been arrested: Nope 196. Gone to jail or juve: No 197. Skateboarded: Yes 198. Skinny dipped: In a bath 199. Rock climbed: Do it every summer 200. Killed someone: Nope 201. Watched porn: Nah 202. Gone on a road trip: Kinda 203. Went out of the country: Nah 204. Talked back to an adult: Yes 205. Broken a law: Nope 206. Got pulled over: Don't drive 208: Cried to get out of trouble: I don't usually do anything bad 209. Let a friend cry on your shoulder: I'm supposed to, I'm there to listen 210. Kissed a brother's or sister's friend: No 211. Kissed a friend's brother or sister: No 212. Dropped something on the floor and let someone eat it anyways: Nah, I usually eat it 213. Mooned someone: Yes, once 214. Shop-lifted: No 215. Worked at McDonald's: No thank you 216. Eaten a dog: A hot dog! 217. Give money to a homeless person: Yea, I've fed them too 218. Glued your hand to yourself: Yes 219. Kissed someone of the same sex: Playing Pocky 220. Had a one night stand: I have two right beside my bed 221. Smoked: Nope 222. Done drugs: No 223. Lose a friend because of your ex: I don't have any exes 224. Slap someone for being stupid: Yes 225. Had cyber sex: Sexted?? Kinda 226. Wish you were the opposite sex: A lot more often than I should sometimes. But for completely different reasons 227. Caught someone doing something: Yea 228. Played a game that removes clothing: Strip truth or dare ;) 229. Cried during a movie: All the damn time 230. Cried over someone: It's hard not to when you can't have an actor love you 231. Wanted to hook up with a friend: Yea, and I did 232. Hooked up with someone you barely met: Nah 233. Ran away from home: Nope 234. Cheated on a test: Once Section Twelve: Would you 235. Bungee jump: Nope 236. Sky dive: Hate heights 237. Swim with dolphins: Yes 238. Steal a friend's bf or gf: That goes against girl code 239. Try to be the opposite sex: No 240. Lie to the police: Hi officer my real name is Nicholas... Cage 241. Run from the police: No 242. Lie to your parents: Done it before 243. Backstab a friend for your own well being: That's just plain rude 244. Be an exotic dancer: Only for my boyfriend <3 245. NQ- Kill the president: Nah Section Thirteen: Are you 246. Shy: Yes, especially around new people 247. Loud: Extremely 248. Nice: I try to be 249: Outgoing: I fake being outgoing haha 250: Quiet: Yea 251. Mean: Depends, I'm mean to those I like 252. Emotional: Sad to say, but yea 253. Sensitive: Mhmm 254. Gay: I'm very happy 255. Strong: I wish, need to start working out 256. Weak: Yea 257. Caring: Yes, especially towards animals 258. Dangerous: Well, does this include caving? 259. Crazy: Uh huh 260. Spontaneous: I am the most random and spontaneous thing out there 261. Funny: I try to be, I fail at it 262. Sweet: To eat ;) 263. Sharing: With most things, but not my food 264. Responsible: Most of the time 265. Trustworthy: Definitely, if you want a secret kept come talk to me 266. Open-minded: Depends on what you mean 267. Creative: For the most part 268. Cute: Um, not even close, no matter how many of y'all say I am 269. Slick: They don't call me Nik the Slick for nothing 270. Smart: Yea 271. Dumb: I act like it 272. Evil: No 273. Ghetto: If only 274. Classy: As in sassy 275. Photogenic: Nope 276. Dependable: Only on a few select things 277. Greedy: Only with food 278. Ugly: Yes, 100 times over 279. Messy: With my life 280. Neat: With everything else 281. Perverted: You can say cookie and it'll go bad 282. Silly: Yea 283. A B****: I can be if you want me to be 284. A Good Listener: Mhmm 285. A Fighter: If you make me mad enough 286. A Party Animal: I'd rather read, thanks 287. A Game Freak: YES 288. A Computer Freak: I literally want to work on computers Section Fourteen: Future 289. Dream job: Animation 290. Dream house: Somewhere out in the country 291. Husband/Wife: My sweet redheaded boyfriend 292. Kids: 2 293. Names: Something with Ns 294. Pets: Literally so many 295. Car: Anything that gets me places 296. Age you would want to get married: I wouldn't mind getting married in the next few years 297. Best Man/Bride's Maid: My best friend Elena 298. Honeymoon: Anyplace that has a bedroom Section Fifteen: Your friends 299. Best friend: Elena, Nate, Jasmine, Kelsey 300. Known the longest: Nate 301. Craziest: Elena 302. Loudest: Elena and I 303. Shyest: Jasmine and Kelsey 304. Best hair: Kelsey 305. Best eyes: Kelsey 306. Best body: Nate 307. Most Athletic: Me 308. Hot-Tempered: Elena 309. Most impatient: Me 310. Shortest: Nate 311. Tallest: Kelsey 312. Skinniest: Me 313. Best singer: Me 314. Funniest: Literally all of us 315. Can always make you laugh: All of them 316. Wish you talked to more: Elena 317. Wish you saw more: All of them 318. Who drives you insane after a while: Elena, but in a good way 319. Who you can stay around forever and never get sick of: All of them 320. Ever lose a friend because you took it to the 'next level': Nah, I'm dating Nate 321. Whose always been there when you need them: All of them 322. Who is like your family: All of them 323. How many friends do you have?: Quite a few, and I love each and every one of them 324. How many are really close? About 10? Section Sixteen: The last 325. Thing you ate: Poptarts 326. Thing you drank: Apple juice 327. Thing you wore: My hoodie 328. Thing you did: This meme 329. Place you went: The store 330. Thing you got pierced or tattooed: Nothing 331. Person you saw: My dad 332. Person you hugged: My dad 333. Person you kissed: Nate 334. NQ- Person you beat to a juicy pulp: I wish I had done that to a couple jerks 335. Person you talked to online: Nate 336. Person you talked to on the phone: Nate 337. Song you heard: Vulnerable by Secondhand Serenade 338. Show you saw: Mom 339. Time you fought with your parents: Um... about a month or two? 340. Time you fought with a friend: Haven't for a while 341. Words you said: Fuck you is what I said Section Seventeen: Now 343. What are you eating: Poptart 344. What are you drinking: Apple juice 345. What are you thinking: About my boyfriend 346. What are you wearing: My hoodie 347. What are you doing: Writing this up 349. Hair: Down 350. Mood: Tired 351. Listening to: Spotify 352. Talking to anyone: Yea 353. Watching anything: Nah Section Eighteen: Yes or No 354. Are you a vegetarian: Mostly 355. Are you a carnivore: Nah 356. Are you heterosexual: Yes 357. Do you like penguins: Yes 358. Do you write poetry: Yes 359. Do you see stupid people: Yes 360. You + Me: No 361. Do you like the Osbournes: Yes 362. Can you see flying pigs: No 363. Do you sleep with stuffed animals on your bed: Yes 364. Are you from Afghanistan: No 365. Is Christina Aguilera ugly: No 366. Are you a zombie: No 367. Am i annoying you: Yes 368. Do you bite your nails: Yes 369. Can you cross your eyes: Yes 370. Do you make your bed in the morning: No 371. Have you touched someone's private part: Yes Section Nineteen: This or That 372. Winter or Summer: Winte 373. Spring or Autumn: Autumn 374. Shakira or Britney: Britney 375. MTV or VH1: MTV 376. Black or White: White 377. Yellow or Pink: Pink 378. Football or Basketball: Football 379. Mobile Phone or Pager: Mobile 380. Pen or Pencil: Pencil 381. Cold or Hot: Hot 382. Tattoos or Piercings: Tattoos 383. Inside or Outside: Inside 384. Weed or Alcohol: No 385. Coke or Pepsi: Pepsi 386. Tape or Glue: Tape 387. McDonald's or In-n-Out: In-Out Section Twenty: Opinions 388. What do you think about classical music: I like it 389. About boy bands: Nah 390: About suicide: Talk to someone if you're thinking about suicide. It is a very real thing and should not be joked about. I don't want to find out that any of you are no longer here because of suicide. I've lost 2 very close friends that way. 391. About people who try to force their opinions on you: They can kindly fuck off 392. About teen pregnancy: Only if they know they'll be able to take care of the baby 393. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years: With my husband in some country town 394. Who do you think you'll still be friends with in 5 years: Nate, Elena, Kelsey, Jasmine, hopefully all my friends 395. About gay men: They're human too Section Twenty-One: 396. Do you have a website: I'm working on building one 397. Current weather right now: Cold as balls 398. Current time: 7:00 399. Last thoughts: Byyyye

[heysnowflake]

Yeah I like doing these, shhhh!

1. Five ways to win your heart: 

- “I’ve never met anyone like you before” 

- Offering to share your food with me 

- Be as obsessed with Disney and Non-Disney like me

- Always be really enthusiastic with my dogs

- Laugh at me when I do something ridiculous 

2. Something you feel strongly about: 

Equality and LGBT+ rights, To quote Dan Howell, “Queer people exist. To choose to ignore them is not an option”. As a heterosexual whose best friend is bisexual, I will god damn fight for her rights to feel accepted, respected and valid in this world in any way I can. 

3. Bullet your whole day: 

- Take a business call

- Drink a cappuccino

- Do some financial work 

- Walk my boss’ dogs 

- Get home from work in the earlier afternoon

- Make another cappuccino 

- Play some Sims

- Play some Layers of Fear 2

- Tidy my room

- Make dinner

- Read a good book

- Imagine all my dream scenarios that will never happen 

- Listen to ASMR and go to sleep 

4. A book you love: Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling, I’ve read that baby 17 times and I’m debating reading it again. 

5. Things you want to say to an ex: 

... 

6. Your views on mainstream music: Whilst I’ll agree that there some valid and talented individuals in the mainstream music business. I personally just prefer to listen to other things. My main music taste ranges from 80′s movie soundtracks to Disney to Classic Rock. Anything written before 2000, basically. 

7. Five pet peeves: 

- People who leave their babies/dogs in a hot car without even a window cracked or air con on

- The phrase “I’m living/I’m dying for (insert whatever item here)” 

- People who get drunk all the time and/or buy obviously useless items, and then complain about having no money and even trying to borrow money

- Empty packets left in cupboards/fridges 

- People who complain clearly for the sake of complaining 

8. What you ate today: nothing yet actually, only had a cappuccino 

9. How important you think education is: I think education is highly important for reasons such as molding you into an intelligent adult, the lessons you learn from the hidden curriculum, and getting you into a solid career, etc. However, I do believe that there are extremely important subjects that should be taught as a compulsory in educational institutes. Such subjects include home economics, business studies, general life skills, financial management and a more advanced and inclusive sex education programe. 

10. Put your music player on shuffle and write the first ten songs that you play: 

- W.I.T.C.H (Main theme)

- Paris Holds The Key (To Your Heart)- Anastasia

- Radio Ga Ga- Queen

- Land Of 1000 Dances- Wilson Pickett

- Let Me Be Your Wings- Barry Manilow

- Welcome To The Jungle- Guns N Roses

- Sound The Bugles- Bryan Adams

- Far Away- Nickelback

- Shake Me- Cinderella 

- So Close- Jon McLaughlin

11. Your family: I have too many members oh boy, my mum Glenda, my dad Ian, 4 sisters, 3 brothers, 1 brother in law, 13 cousins, 2 aunts, 3 uncles, 2 nieces, 3 nephews, my 3 dogs and little old me (not all in one roof, fuck that) 

12. Five guys you find attractive: Hugh Jackman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Markiplier, Jacksepticeye, and Prince Cornelius (animated characters count right?) 

13. Your opinion about your body and how comfortable you are with it: As someone who used to be quite overweight when I was younger, it has taken me a long time to learn and accept my body for what it is: just mine. I spent many years comparing myself to other women’s realising that my body would never look like theirs because we’re all built different and no two people are the same in any regard. Whilst I am actually pretty comfortable with my body and who I am (as someone who used to be overweight and now isn’t), there are sure things I wouldn’t mind being changed about my body but they are things for me to change because I want them to and not because of what other people say. It was actually only just recently that I started being more comfortable having my picture taken as I’m someone who gets extremely nervous about not being in control of the picture/editing process of an image of myself. It’s been a slow journey of acceptance but I believe I’m finally at its final stages. Role models such as Carrie Hope Fletcher, Ashley Graham and Kate Winslet have been women I have looked up to during this process and inspire me to a better person every day. 

14. What you wore today: black elbow-sleeved top with a scoop neck and tied into a knot at my waist, black leggings and brown ankle boots. 

15. Your zodiac/horoscope and if you think it fits your personality: my horoscope/zodiac is Virgo (technically Virgo/Libra cusp as I was born on a cusp day) and my Chinese Zodiac is a Rat. Both are absolutely bloody spot on. 

16. Something you always think “what if” about: What if I never met my best friend? It’s a world I don’t like to think about living in but it haunts me every day and I’m thankful for every moment I have with her. 

17. Something that you’re proud of: my degree in Business management 

18. A problem that you have had: I used to have bad anger management when I was younger than 10 but made a rapid improvement when I was a little older and now can happily say that I’m one of the chillest people I know. 

19. Five items you lust after: Cornelius’ ring from Thumbelina (I have yet to find one similar), a brown grand piano, the Canon EOS 1D Mark II camera, a pair of black ugg boots (will most likely purchase soon), more Funko Pops xD 

20. Your fears: failure, lots of stairs (have an extremely minor case of Bathmaphobia), and my loved ones dying. Ooooh and also Red-Faced Demon from Insidious 

21. How you hope your future will be like: living with my best friend with a couple dogs and cats just taking one day at a time and travelling together. 

22. Your academics: GCSEs ranged from A* to Cs and Dinstinctions/Merits, A-Levels ranged from Bs to Cs and Distinctions, University I got Distinctions. 

23. Something that you miss: that hangout feeling you get when you walk into school/college/university

24. Five words/phrases that make you laugh: Nincompoop, X Gon’ Give It To Ya, “We’re the reason cousins shouldn’t marry” - Magic Sword: Quest For Camelot, “Would you like the hotel moving an inch to the left?”- Basil Fawlty, and “You should write a book: How to Offend Women in Five Syllables or Less”- The Swan Princess. 

25. Something you’re currently worrying about: the fact that I haven’t been able to see my best friend in a month

26. Things you like and dislike about yourself: 

Let’s keep it to three each shall we xD 

Like: my curly hair, my ability to think outside the box and I can curl a sick present ribbon

Dislike: my inability to be concise, my obvliousness and my arms 

27. A quote you try to live by: “Life is too short to live the same day twice”

28. Somewhere you’d like to move to or visit: NEW ZEALAND!!!

29. Five weird things that you like: Vegemite and honey on toast, watching a favourite animated movie multiple times, organising my bookshelf, eating pepperami slces in a very particular way (I eat the outside before the inside), and genuinely enjoy tickling my friend’s feet for ages. 

30. One thing you’re excited for: where me and my best friend will travel to next

[minhyyuu-blog]

…SHOULD WE KNOW US A LITTLE BETTER TAG…

tagged by @markhyuck-is-real-af​ thank you  ❤️

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 ppl… (lol you wish idk for now who to tag I’ll add sb later but 20 is impossible)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: apple and pineapple juice

2. Phone call: my brother, just a second ago haha (I’m going to visit him next week, he lives in different country)

3. Text message: to my friend, I was asking her when we can meet

4. Song you listened to: EXO-CBX - Ka-CHING!

5. Time you cried: a couple months ago when I argued with my mum (idk why I always cry when I’m angry O.o and almost never when I’m sad)

6. Dated someone twice: the same person? no (I can’t imagine dating sb twice)

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: i never regretted kissing someone fortunately

8. Been cheated on: nope

9. Lost someone special: yes, a boy who I had a crush on and also I my grandma died 10 months ago and she was the closest person for me

10. Been depressed: yes, as a young child (which is kind of wierd)

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I was drunk a few times but I have never trown up (and also I never had a hungover O.o)

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: red, pink, black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes, I started studying at a university so I met many lovely people *.* (God bless them)

16. Fallen out of love: nope

17. Laughed until you cried: of course

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no, fortunately

19. Met someone who changed you: yes (my uni friends, my teachers, many people tbh)

20. Found out who your friends are: I don’t really know what it means

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: not during the last year (oh, wait but maybe I kissed some of them on the cheek)

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 90% (I don’t know how it’s possible but I invited some Pakistani and Indian people into my friends when I was about 13 and even when I’m trying to unfollow them they keep coming back ._. like how)

23. Do you have any pets: most recently I used to have a guinea pig but he died 2 years ago

24. Do you want to change your name: my name and surname is like Jane Doe in my country so I’m seriously considering changing my name (even if I like my first name) but I’m afraid that people won’t get used to my new name and I’m also afraid of red tape (idk if I’m using the phrase right)

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I only remember eating cake with my mum

26. What time did you wake up: 10am I was so tired… because I was waking up at 4am for the last 3 days

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I fell asleep at 10pm last night when I was reading a book and I didn’t even wash off my makeup so yeah I was sleeping

28. Name something you can’t wait for: for my US history exam results (I want to live in peace at last)

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: a week ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: have more close friends who I can talk to sincerly

31. What are you listening right now: right now -> nothing. but recently I was listening to NCT 127′s Cherry Bomb album, Monsta X’s whole discography (I got into them when Beautiful came out so quite recently), WJSN’s “Happy” and Be.A’s “Magical” on repeat

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my cousin has a name which directly translates to Tom so yeah

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people who walk slowly duh

34. Most visited Website: one stupid website with memes from my country. if I visit it once more pls somebody turn off my wifi. the people here have so stupid  opinions and I still keep reading the comment’s. I’m a damn masochist.

35. Elementary: finished

36. High School: finished

37. College: (it’s university in fact) I studied sth different before and now I finished the first year of sth else

38. Haircolor: very, very dark brown (looks like black when I’m not outside)

39. Long or short hair: long? i guess

40. Do you have a crush on someone: nope

41. What do you like about yourself: my looks (lmao), that I’m good with languages and that I’m hardworking

42. Piercings: none (but I have plans to pierce my ears [not only the rugular ones ;-)])

43. Bloodtype: Brh+

44. Nickname: none?

45. Relationship status: single (I’m sad about it tbh)

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: ghost adventures (don’t judge) and documentaries about the Earth (I don’t remember the name rn)

49. Tattoos: I’m planning to get one but I’m not 100% sure (I had a wierd dream that I should get one and it seems interesting for me)

50. Right or left: right handed (?) but I can use both my hands

51. Surgery: I had sth done on my lungs when I was a child

52. Piercing: none

53. Sport: I used to train swimming

55. Vacation: ????? (my dream vacation would be Montenegro or other Balkan countries)

56. Pair of trainers: ???? what?

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: (like my favourite?) smoothies, all veggies, Chinese cuisine, spicy food, lentils, peanut butter (I albsolutely love it)

58. Drinking: coffee, green tea, water

59. I’m about to: go to sleep

61. Waiting for: Red Velvet’s comeback, my last exam’s results and to visit my brothers

62. Want: to live peacefully

63. Get married: rather not

64. Career: I’m studying to be a translator (but my second dream is to be a singer or composer or both and traslator also)

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses (I’m so awkward when sb tries to hug me *blush*)

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: it’s impossible to be shorter than me :-P

68. Older or younger: doesn’t matter as long as the difference is not bigger than 5 years

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms. what do they mean by nice stomach?

71. Sensitive or loud: loud? oh hell no, I’d die. so sensitive is better (tbh I find it very cute)

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant (I’m the troublemaker I don’t need a second one :-P)

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: nope (and I wouldn’t)

75. Drank hard liquor: I prefer hard liquor tbh

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I don’t wear glasses nor contact lenses

77. Turned someone down: for sure, even if I don’t remember anything in particular right now

78. Sex in the first date: too fast in my opinion

79. Broken someones heart: I did break sb’s heart, I’m sorry.

80. Had your heart broken: not really

81. Been arrested: nope

82. Cried when someone died: yes (how can someone not cry when their loved ones die?)

83. Fallen for a friend: yes, and I hve hurt him so bad I’ll never forgive myself for that even if it was years ago

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: most of the times but it’s like a sinusoid

85. Miracles: maybe they’re possible sometimes

86. Love at first sight: no……… I’d rather call it infatuation or fascination or lust

87. Santa Claus: no (I never believed in him even as a child O.o I always knew that my parents were the ones who gave me presents)

88. Kiss in the first date: kinda too fast

89. Angels: not really

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: I’d prefer not to say that here

91. Eyecolor: dark gray

92. Favorite movie: The Sixth Sense (from 1999 with Bruce Willis) and horror kovies in general or some moves that convey useful message

I’m tagging: anyone from my friends who wants to do it (but maybe @jinhobbit (if it’s not too personal) or @xuanyisgfriend (same here) @thesketchykoifish @penguinsoo0112 

[gaysin-space]

All 150 questions 😌😌😌

I can’t with you omg WHY DO THIS TO ME?! (jk you know I love it)

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My girlfriend aka the lil shit who sent me all these

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Both? Like depends on the situation

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Well I just booked Hamilton tickets so imma go with the whole cast, does that count?

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so? Idk

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yeah she would, she takes care of me a lot tbh

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Someone who can make me laugh and who makes me happy and who I can spend time with talking about all kinds of crap and we both enjoy it just because it’s us

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I better fucking be, what you trying to say mate?!

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My dad, I just want him to be okay

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

It can do? Like I don’t really like talking about my own sex life but other peoples I’m fine with idk

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Idk? Does my mentor count?

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“IM SOR- I’m sorry” which is funny okay

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Call on me, satisfied, burn, helpless, castle on the hill

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes omggggg so much

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Yep, you can be lucky and have good things happen to you but miracles are things that happen that you don’t expect and turn out to make situations so much better 

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got to see my girlfriend and she met her fave?

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Yes, of course, always

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

YES OMG PLEASE

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Lol no? 

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yeah I actually do omg

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Fuck no.

21. What are you bad habits?

Biting my nails and the skin around them (soz babe)

22. Where would you like to travel?

Australia is my first option always because of my baby cousin

23. Do you have trust issues?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAH yeah

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

None? I don’t really have one tbh

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My legs I guess 

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Check my phone 

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

darker

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mum? or my gf tbh

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

No? if they have i’ve forgotten 

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes omg

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yeah, i want it shorter tho

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

I mean? All of them??

33. Spell your name with your chin.

ccrd\ 

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Noooooope

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Oh boy have I

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Anything and everything

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Cheesy I know but my gf 

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Primark tbh and waterstones 

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Well im at uni rn but after that i wanna settle down and have a family

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yes but only if they make an impact on my day to day life

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

It could mean anything from me being triggered to me being in pain

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Yeah i do 

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

SPACE MOTHER FUCKERS

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

The fact that i have to?

46. What are you paranoid about?

Lol everything?

47. Have you ever been high?

God no.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Hell yes

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Nope

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Sometimes

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My negativity tbh

53. Favourite makeup brand?

NYX

54. Favourite store?

does food count? Coz costa omg

55. Favourite blog?

My whole dash is my fave so everyone omg

56. Favourite colour?

Blue

57. Favourite food? 

Cheesy chips omg

58. Last thing you ate?

Cheesy chips and chicken nuggets omg

59. First thing you ate this morning?

A wispa bar omg

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I dont think so?

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love? 

I guess so?

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Oh god, i was young omg idk i just remember his name was dylan apparently

65. Are you hungry right now?

I dont actually know omg Im in pain tho

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

I mean they are my real friends so???

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

Molly, Lily, G and Derrelle (Stop i know okay)

71. Craving something? What?

Chocolate omg

72. What colour are your towels?

White and blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

One

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

I used to

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Oh god alot omg

75. Favourite animal?

Wolf or cat

76. What colour is your underwear?

Red

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla but both tbh

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Mint choc chip

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey

80. What colour pants?

Black

81. Favourite tv show?

Voltron lets be real

82. Favourite movie?

10 things i hate about you

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls (Ive never seen the second one omg)

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

21 Jump street omg

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Janis

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

The sassy starfish

87. First person you talked to today?

My mentor

88. Last person you talked to today?

My housemate

89. Name a person you hate?

Theres a few

90. Name a person you love?

My mum

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Not really

92. In a fight with someone?

not that i know of

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

only one

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

like 10? more?

95. Last movie you watched?

Sing!

96. Favourite actress?

I dont really have one?

97. Favourite actor?

Dylan o’Brien

98. Do you tan a lot?

I can tan quickly?

99. Have any pets?

1 cat my baby

100. How are you feeling?

Meh but im just tired

101. Do you type fast?

I think so omg

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Oh yeah alot

103. Can you spell well?

i guess im okay omg

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I do sometimes im not gonna lie

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yeah

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

sadly yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

When i was a kid yeah

108. What should you be doing?

Nothing i dont think?

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Not really, i dont think so

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yep

111. Do you have trust issues?

yessssssss

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My gf i think

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Franny

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yep

115. Do you play the Wii?

I used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yeah, the Hamilton soundtrack

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

I dont think ive ever had it?

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Only when im craving it omg

119. Favourite book?

The realm of possibility 

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

I am omg

121. Are you mean?

I can be when i feel i need to be

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No, fuck no.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

No omg

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe you can be infatuated with someone when you first meet them

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yeah… It gives me hope i guess

126. Are you currently bored?

No im in pain omg

127. What makes you happy?

My boys and the people i choose to surround myself with

128. Would you change your name?

Nah too many people know it now

129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra

130. Do you like subway?

Yeah 

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Nothing because they know im gay so they know it wont happen

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

I think it was my housemate?

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

When you’re wearyAnd the road is darkAnd I’ll guide youWith the beating of my heart

134. Can you count to one million?

Nah I’d get too bored and give up

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

That i was taller than i actually am omg

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed but open at home

137. How tall are you?

5′6 i think?

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Curly

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette 

140. Summer or Winter?

Winterrrrrr

141. Night or Day?

Day

142. Favourite month?

December 

143. Are you a vegetarian?

no omg 

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk pls

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea

146. Was today a good day?

It was long but okay

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

I hate the way you’re always rightI hate it when you lieI hate it when you make me laughEven worse when you make me cry

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Yep

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“my gift to her is that she shall become uglier with everyday that passes” 

[bangtanchantan]

85 Truths Tag

I was tagged by the wonderful @jiminahkookie​ (sorry this is late)

Rules: anwser 85 statements then tag 20 people

I tag: @maknaelne​ @brieecheesee​ @taetaesbandana​ @validjimin​ @jrae7374​ @cowjimin​ @my-calico-cat​ (Soz i don’t have many people to tag; only if you want to, kinda wanna get to know y’all better ^_^)

Last...

1. Drink - Coke

2. Phone call - mum

3. Text Message - cousin

4. Song listened to - Teenager GOT7

5. Time you cried - a couple of weeks ago

Ever

6. Dated someone twice - yes

7. Kissed someone and regretted it - yes

8. Been cheated on - yes

9. Lost someone special - yes

10. Been depressed - no

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - yes

Fave colours:

12. Cherry Red

13. Khaki Green

14. Black 

In the last year have you...

15. Made new friends - yes :)

16. Fallen out of love - no

17. Laughed until you cried - yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you - yes

19. Met someone who changed you - yes

20. Found out who your true friends are - yes 

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yes

General:

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all of them

23. Do you have any pets - no

24. Do you want to change your name - no

25. What did you do for your last birthday - i was working

26. What time did you wake up today - 9am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night - playing superstar BTS

28. What is something you can’t wait for - to graduate

30. What are you listening to right now - the tv in the background

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - yes

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves - the humidity

33. Most visited website - Twitter, Tumblr, Youtube

34. Hair colour - Cherry Red Ombre 

35. Long or short hair - medium/long

36. Do you have a crush on someone - Park Jimin? Jung Hoseok?

37. What do you like about yourself - my hair

38. Want any piercings - i have a few already but i want more

39. Blood type - i have no idea

40. Nicknames - Chan Chan, pocket rocket, chatterbox, sleeping beauty

41. Relationship status - in one?

42. Zodiac - Virgo

43. Pronouns - She/her

44. Fav tv shows - too many kdramas to name

45. Tattoos - none but planning my first? maybe?

46. Right or left handed - right

47. Ever had a surgery - yes

48. Piercings - 4 (3 on the left ear, 1 on the right)

49. Sport - tennis, netball, rugby, hockey, basketball

50. Vacation - i’ve travelled to a lot of places, my next will hopefully be Korea

51. Trainers - BTS x Puma Court Stars

More general:

52. Eating - Chinese New Year snacks ( i dunno how to explain this)

53. Drinking - Chandy (pre-mixed beer and lemonade)

54. I’m about to watch - J-hope’s bday vlive with eng subs :)

55. Waiting for - BTS to come to Australia again

56. Want - a new laptop would be nice

57. Get married - in the future yes

58. Career - nurse chan

Which is better?

59. Hugs or kisses - both :)

60. Lips or eyes - lips

61. Shorter or taller - taller?

62. Older or younger - older

63. Nice arms or stomach - both or neither it doesn't matter

64. Hookup or relationship - relationship

65. Troublemaker or hesitant - troublemaker ;)

Have you ever...

66. Kissed a stranger - yes

67. Drank hard liquor - yes

68. Lost glasses - sunglasses? (i don't wear prescription glasses)

69. Turned someone down - yes

70. Sex on first date - no

71. Broken someone’s heart - hurt someone? yeh

72. Had your heart broken - yes

73. Been arrested - no

74. Cried when someone died - yes

75. Fallen for a friend - yes

Do you believe in...

76. Yourself - yes

77. Miracles - yes

78. Love at first sight - kinda

79. Santa claus - no

80. Kiss on first date - depends

81. Angels - yes

Other:

82. Best friend’s name - Nadia

83. Eye colour - dark brown

84. Fave movie - don’t have one

85. Fave actor/actress - Song Joong Ki, Nam Joo Hyuk, Lee Sung Kyung