#my dog got sick in the middle of translating

[pikahlua]

MHA Chapter 418 spoilers translations

This week’s initial tentative super rough/literal translations under the cut.

1-2 みんな嫌いだ みんなきらいだ minna kirai da "I hate everyone."

tagline 1 デクが見つけたものそれはーー… デクがみつけたものそれはーー… DEKU ga mitsuketa mono sore wa--... As for what Deku found--...

tagline 2 No.418　小さな心　堀越耕平 ナンバー418　ちいさなこころ　ほりこしこうへい NANBAA 418  chiisana kokoro  Horikoshi Kouhei No. 418 A Small Heart Kouhei Horikoshi

3 群訝で感じたのと同じーーーーー… ぐんがでかんじたのとおなじーーーーー… gunga de kanjita no to onaji-----... It's the same as what I felt at Gunga-----...

tagline 3 コミック40巻4月4日（木）発売‼︎GETしてね！ コミック40かん4がつ4か（木）はつばい‼︎ゲットしてね！ KOMIKKU 40kan 4gatsu 4ka (moku) hatsubai!! GETTO shite ne! Comic volume 40 release on Thursday, April 4th!! Get it!

4 しがっ Shiga "Shiga-"

1 モンちゃん？ MON-chan? "Mon-chan?"

2-3 ここで初めて「崩壊」が発現したんだ ここではじめて「ほうかい」がはつげんしたんだ koko de hajimete 「houkai」 ga hatsugen shitanda This is where the first Decay manifested.

4 転弧ー てんこー Tenko- "Tenko-"

5 あのね…… ano ne...... "You know what......"

6 あのね…… ano ne...... "You know what......"

7 そんな……そういう事か…！ そんな……そういうことか…！ sonna......sou iu koto ka...! No way......So it was something like that...!

8 この後起きる事… このあとおきること… kono ato okiru koto... What happens after this...

9 ハッ HA "Hah" (Note: This is the sound of Tenko hyperventilating, which repeats all through the rest of the page.)

10 ここが核心 ここがかくしん koko ga kakushin This place is the core [of it all].

11 やああ yaaa "YAAA!!"

1 ここで決着をつける！ ここでけっちゃくをつける！ koko de kecchaku wo tsukeru! I'll settle this here!

2 記憶が具象化する世界…！ きおくがぐしょうかするせかい…！ kioku ga gushouka suru sekai...! [In this] world materialized by memories...!

3 イメージしろ！ IMEEJI shiro! Visualize!

4 離すな‼︎ はなすな‼︎ hanasuna!! Don't let go!!

5 思い出し続けろ"手"を‼︎ おもいだしつづけろ"て"を‼︎ omoidashi tsudzukero "te" wo!! Keep recalling* [my] hands!! (Note: This word for "recall" also means "remember." I used "recall" because I thought it made for a good pun.)

6 & 8-9 OFAは全部ぶつけた！ ワン・フォー・オールはぜんぶぶつけた！ WAN FOO OORU wa zenbu butsuketa! I struck with all of One For All!

7 なんで…！ nande...! "Why...!"

1 僕自身をぶつけろ！ ぼくじしんをぶつけろ！ boku jishin wo butsukero! Strike with myself! (Note: I think Izuku is saying that he used all of the OFA vestiges to strike at Tenko, so now he's using himself to strike at Tenko too.)

2 だって datte "Because"

3 泣いてる ないてる naiteru "you're crying."

4 違うよ… ちがうよ… chigau yo... "You're wrong..."

5 僕は… ぼくは… boku wa... "I..."

6 僕が… ぼくが… boku ga... "[It was] I [who]..."

7 選んだんだ えらんだんだ erandanda "chose [this]."

8 転弧の感情が…なだれ込んでくる！ てんこのかんじょうが…なだれこんでくる！ Tenko no kanjou ga...nadarekonde kuru! Tenko's emotions...are surging [at me]!

9 僕の意志で…この家を…家族を壊したんだ… ぼくのいしで…このいえを…かぞくをこわしたんだ… boku no ishi de...kono ie wo...kazoku wo kowashitanda... "By my will...I destroyed this house...my family..."

10 じゃなきゃ ja nakya "Otherwise,"

11 この手はなんなんだ このてはなんなんだ kono te wa nannanda "what are these hands for?"

1 僕がこうして生まれた事を ぼくがこうしてうまれたことを boku ga koushite umareta koto wo "That I was born like this,"

2 誰が肯定できる⁉︎ だれがこうていできる⁉︎ dare ga koutei dekiru!? "who can confirm it!?"

3 最も繊細で柔らかいところ もっともせんさいでやわらかいところ motto mo sensai de yawarakai tokoro It is the most delicate, soft place.

4 弾かれる…‼︎だめだ離すなーーーー！ はじかれる…‼︎だめだはなすなーーーー！ hajikareru...!! dame da hansuna----! [He's] repelling [me]...!! No, don't let go----!

5 強い憎しみとカタルシス…… つよいにくしみとカタルシス…… tsuyoi nikushimi to KATARUSHISU...... Powerful hatred and catharsis......

6 そして同時に そしてどうじに soshite douji ni and at the same time,

7 悲しみと困惑…！ かなしみとこんわく…！ kanashimi to konwaku...! sadness and confusion...!

8 この時まだ転弧は揺れていた…！ このときまだてんこはゆれていた…！ kono toki mada Tenko wa yurete ita...! At this time, Tenko was still oscillating...!

1-2 手を離せ…！ てをはなせ…！ te wo hanase...! "Let go of my hands...!"

3 殺して止める以外方法がないかもしれない ころしてとめるいがいほうほうがないかもしれない koroshite tomeru igai houhou ga nai kamoshirenai There may be no other way than to kill and stop him.

4 具体的にどうすればいいのかもわからないけれどーーーー… ぐたいてきにどうすればいいのかもわからないけれどーーーー… gutaiteki ni dou sureba ii no kamo wakaranai keredo----... I don't know exactly what I should do, but----...

5 僕は手を ぼくはてを boku wa te wo "For me, [my] hand..."

6 流れ込んでくる ながれこんでくる nagarekonde kuru It's flowing [into me].

7 憎しみが……！ にくしみが……！ nikushimi ga......! His hatred......!

8 壊れる…！こんな…！ こわれる…！こんな…！ kowareru...! konna...! I'll break...! Like this...!

9 手を掴んでもらって てをつかんでもらって te wo tsukande moratte "when someone held my hand"

10 安心したから あんしんしたから anshin shita kara "I felt relieved, that's why."

1 だから……来たっ だから……きたっ dakara......kita "That's why......I am here*." (*Note: Literally this means "I came/arrived," but it's the same word All Might uses that always gets translated as "I am here.")

1 みっくん Mikkun Mikkun.

2 ともちゃん… Tomo-chan... Tomo-chan...

3 じゃあ転ちゃんがオールマイトね！ じゃあてんちゃんがオールマイトね！ jaa Ten-chan ga OORU MAITO ne! "So then, Ten-chan is All Might!"

4 ううん uun "No."

1 僕は敵だ ぼくはヴィランだ boku wa VIRAN da "I am a villain."

2 悪意を持って あくいをもって akui wo motte "I carry malice,"

3 壊す こわす kowasu "and I destroy."

4 たとえ憎しみを…打ち砕かれようと たとえにくしみを…うちくだかれようと tatoe nikushimi wo...uchikudakareyou to "Even if my hatred...is smashed,"

5 からっぽになろうと karappo ni narou to "even if I become empty,"

1-2 敵のヒーローにならなきゃ あいつらのヒーローにならなきゃ aitsura (kanji: VIRAN) no HIIROO ni naranakya "I have to become their (read as: the villains') hero."

3 …やっちまえ ...yacchimae "...Just do it."

4 こんな世の中 こんなよのなか konna yo no naka "A world like this,"

5 ブッ潰せ ブッつぶせ BUttsubuse "crush it."

6 壊してくれよ こわしてくれよ kowashite kure yo "Destroy it [for me]."

7 トムラシガラキ TOMURA SHIGARAKI "Tomura Shigaraki." (Note: This is spoken as though in a language like English where one's given name comes before their family name.)

8 指が崩れていくぞ…‼︎ ゆびがくずれていくぞ…‼︎ yubi ga kuzurete iku zo...!! "The fingers are going to collapse...!!"

9 中は…緑谷は一体ーー なかは…みどりやはいったいーー naka wa...Midoriya wa ittai-- "Inside...Midoriya, just what is--"

1 志村さん しむらさん Shimura-san "Mr. Shimura."

2 ああ！ aa! "Ah!"

3 甲賀建設の！ こうがけんせつの！ kouga kensetsu no! "[You're the one] from Kouga Construction!"

4 腰痛ですか ようつうですか youtsuu desu ka "Lower back pain, is it?"

5 なんだ？ nanda? What's this?

6 年々酷くなって参りますよ ねんねんひどくなってまいりますよ nennen hidoku natte mairimasu yo "Every year it's getting worse."

7 良い医者紹介しましょうか？ いいいしゃしょうかいしましょうか？ ii isha shoukai shimashou ka? "Shall I introduce you to a good doctor?"

8 いやあそこまでしてもらうXでは iyaa soko made shite morau X de wa "Oh no, for you to go that far for me..." (Note: The last kanji/furigana in this speech bubble is illegible, but I think the gist of this line is pretty clear.)

1 なんだこの記憶 なんだこのきおく nanda kono kioku What is this memory?

2 そうですね手は掛かりますが… そうですねてはかかりますが… sou desu ne te wa kakarimasu ga... "That's right, he's a bit of a handful, but..."

3 "個性"はもう？ "こせい"はもう？ "kosei" wa mou? "Still no quirk?"

4 それがまだ… sore ga mada... "Not yet..."

5 知らない しらない shiranai I don't know it.

6 …転弧のじゃない… …てんこのじゃない… ...Tenko no ja nai... ...This isn't Tenko's...

7 なんだ nanda Who

8 こいつは koitsu wa is this guy?

1 ああ…愚かな器…！ ああ…おろかなうつわ…！ aa...orokana utsuwa...! "Ahh...foolish vessel...!"

2 何者でも無い少年に心をねじ伏せられるとは なにものでもないしょうねんにこころをねじふせられるとは nanimono demo nai shounen ni kokoro wo nejifuserareru to wa "To have your heart made to yield by some nobody boy."

3 弱いまま強くあろうなどああ愚かな志村転弧 よわいままつよくあろうなどああおろかなしむらてんこ yowai mama tsuyoku arou nado aa orokana Shimura Tenko "Though you've become strong, you remain weak. Ahh, foolish Tenko Shimura."

4 おまえは今まで おまえはいままで omae wa ima made "Even though until now, you"

5 何一つ選んでなどいないのに なにひとつえらんでなどいないのに nani hitotsu erande nado inai noni "haven't chosen a single thing."

tagline 出づるAFO！死柄木、デクはーー… いづるオール・フォー・ワン！しがらき、デクはーー… idzuru OORU FOO WAN! Shigaraki, DEKU wa--... All For One emerges! As for Shigaraki and Deku--...

[hyper-fixated-delusions]

Singin’ in the rain.

Wanda Maximoff x fem!reader

A/N: This fluffy goodness was inspired by Muse’s cover of “Can’t Take My Eyes off You.” (Mainly the second half of the song) I hope you enjoy! :) also there’s another A/N at the bottom, please check it out!

Translations: “Por favor, amor mio.” Please, my love.

“Yo también te amo mucho.” I love you so much too.

“Bebé.” Baby.

Word count: 896.

Masterlist.

It was the middle of the evening, on a cold, rainy day, Wanda was peacefully reading a book in her warm and cozy home when her girlfriend Y/N, sheepishly approaches the couch she's half laying on.

"Hey baby," you begin, waiting for Wanda's eyes to tear away from the pages.

"Hello detka," Wanda responds, her tone amused as she sees you standing in front of her, slightly rocking back and forth on your heels, hands behind your back as if you were a scolded child.

"It's raining," you reply, a dopey smile on your lips that causes Wanda laughter.

"Yes, it is indeed," she says teasingly.

"I was wondering, do you wanna go outside?" You say slowly, gauging your girlfriend's reaction.

"Wait, what?" Wanda chuckles, bewildered by your question.

"Yeah, do you wanna go outside with me?" You repeat again.

"Y/N/N, no, it's cold and it's raining," Wanda responds with a slight head shake.

"Please baby," you whine, "I want to dance with you in the rain," you pout, giving her your best puppy dog eyes.

Wanda sighs at the look on your face, "no, don't look at me like that, I am not going out in the rain," she says, turning her head to look elsewhere.

"Come on Max, please," you beg now, kneeling beside her, taking both her hands into yours as you try to get her to meet your eyes.

"Y/N no, what if we get sick," Wanda says softly, resolve slowly breaking as she looks at your bright eyes.

"If we get sick then we can just take care of each other," you shrug, as if it's no big deal.

"Baby..." Wanda sighs.

"Por favor, amor mio, just this once, I've always wanted to dance in the rain with someone, and seeing as you're a hopeless romantic," you say, with a teasing smirk, "I thought you'd join me without hesitation, please," you beg again, staring at Wanda with a small smile, knowing she loves when you speak Spanish, as you can definitely see her resolve breaking.

"But there won't be any music," Wanda adds as a weak excuse.

"Uh, hello, I think you forget that I am a professional shower singer, I got this babe," you say with mock offense, a hand on your chest as if you've been truly wounded by her words.

Wanda giggles softly, then releases a sigh as she stares at you, knowing that she won't say no, "okay, fine, you win, let's do this," she says, standing up from the couch and pulling you towards the door. "But if I get sick, I'm blaming you! Stupid cute puppy dog eyes and dumb Spanish," she mutters to herself as the cold air hits her and you laugh. "Okay, pop star, we're here, sing," Wanda says, rubbing her arms in attempts to keep herself warm.

You laugh at her frowning face as you pull her into you by the waist, her arms automatically going around your neck, "You're just too good to be true, can't keep my eyes off of you. You feel like Heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much, at long last, love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive, you're just too good to be true, can't take my eyes off you," you sing softly into her ear, knowing how much Wanda truly loves your singing, as she places her head on your shoulder as you both sway in the rain slowly.

But as the song progresses, you pull away and sing the next parts loudly, dancing wildly, going the whole nine yards as if you're a rockstar. "I love you baby, and if it's quite all right, I need you baby to warm the lonely nights. I love you baby, trust in me when I say," Wanda laughs at your antics, joining in immediately, head banging as she jumps in her spot as you sing, her hands doing the rock on symbol.

"Oh pretty baby, don't bring me down I pray. Oh pretty baby, now that I've found you stay and let me love you, baby. Let me love you." You sing, holding the note as you go down on your knees, your eyes closed and hands together as if you were praying.

As soon as you finish the song, Wanda pulls you up by your hands, a laugh escaping her as she presses her lips against yours, slippery and full of laughter, which causes you both to pull away.

"I love you so much," she whispers as she looks up to you, a wide smile on her face, eyes twinkling with happiness in the moonlight.

"Yo también te amo mucho," you whisper back, kissing Wanda a few times, "but what do you say we go back inside now, I know you're cold and soaking from this rain and I truly don't want you getting sick."

Wanda nods thankfully, "yes please, it's freezing," she shivers, grabbing your hand and immediately pulling you as she walks ahead.

But you pull her to a stop and pull her into you so you can pick her up bridal style and carry her into your home, "I know and I'm sorry, but thank you so much for indulging me bebé, you've made a girl's dream come true," you say and your girlfriend laughs in your arms as you walk into your home.

A/N #2: Thank you so much for reading! I’m still getting the hang of this so if there’s anything wrong, please let me know! I know I don’t post the way other writers do, like including a summary, word count, warnings, etc. cause I can’t think of much else. But if people are okay that way then so am I, if not I can start doing that, it’s just easier for me the way I’m posting at the moment. Also if anything were to ever get like too heavy or something I will definitely post warnings and stuff! Thanks!

[babybadger]

How about Carlos Sainz being glued to your side at one the sponsor parties because he’s slightly sick but too stubborn to admit defeat even though you told him to just call in sick and let Charles handle the event. With him being all cuddly and needy of affection and later at home he’s just falling asleep all wrapped around you.

Just an Idea hahaha ❤️❤️😂

Ahhhh this is too too cute! I used badly translated french and spanish so any speakers feel free to correct me!!

Thanks for the request my lovely, hope you like it xx

Sickeningly Sweet

Carlos always had the tough man agenda turned on when he walked out the front door. But put that man in a room with just you and he was the softest, most puppy loving man on earth. It was one of the things you loved the most about him. You knew you were both truly in love when he dropped the tough guy persona and was like a big baby with you. And when he was sick, oh was he the biggest baby.

Cut to now and you and Carlos are getting ready for a shell sponsorship event. Out the corner of your eye you can see him muffling his cough into the elbow of his suit. It was very clear from the moment Carlos got home from the factory and took a nap, that he was sick. Your boyfriend never napped and he slept for 3 hours when he got home. You rolled your eyes at his stubbornness and leaned in the en suite doorway. “You know it will take me two seconds to shoot Charlotte a text and let her know for them to just drive straight there alone mon cher. “No no no Charles would never leave me to the dogs like that so neither will I.”

“We’ll helllooo gorgeous” you shriek at Charlotte as you and Carlos get into Charles car. After all Charlotte was the reason you met Carlos so hanging out the four of you was always fun. The best fun however was when you all spoke french and Carlos had no idea what you were all saying. “Carlos est malade et prétend qu'il ne l'est pas alors ignorez-le s'il commence à gémir” (Carlos is sick and pretending he isn’t so ignore him if he starts moaning) you tell the two other french speakers in the car. They laugh as Carlos turned from staring out the window to look at you. Usually in this situation you would turn to him and translate whatever you said. He was good at languages but was unable to tame the French tongue yet. Instead of translating, you look at his pale face and place a gentle hand on his cheek. Whispering quietly so the couple in the front could not hear you, you tell him “We would be at home right now in bed, warm and comfy.” Carlos, smirked slightly but you could tell he was still exhausted. His smirk fell fast and he looked back out the window, hand intertwined with yours across the middle seat.

“Are you wanting a drink mi amor?”he asks you when he finally stops talking to an older man in a ferrari branded suit and slick back grey hair. “No no I’m okay lovely, how you feeling baby?” you ask him quietly. Once again you hand frames his cheek and he looks at you with a fake smile. “Ready to impress one more sponsor before we go” he tells you as his eyes drift to someone behind you. He gives you a gentle kiss on the forehead, all to aware that he is probably infectious as hell right now and doesn’t want to kiss you on the lips.

“Hahahaha that’s what I said to him but you know men they always know best” Charlotte laughs sarcastically in reply as you tell other floating girlfriends and wives the stories about the summer you four had spent together. As you continue to laugh you feel two hands slip up to your waist. Knowing his hold anywhere, you lean your head back on his shoulder and look up at him. The girls smile in your direction and Charlotte carries on the story without you.

“You okay mi amor?” he asks, his head resting in between your neck and shoulder. “I am big baby, you finally ready to leave?” you ask in return. Turning around you see a half awake Carlos nodding his head. Smiling back at Charlotte and giving her a little wave is all that’s needed. The girl aware that you are needed elsewhere a lot more. “Have you told everyone you are going home?” you ask as you shuffle your way through all the people, hands intertwined once more. “Charles knows and so does Mattia, feel like I’m falling over my own two feet babe” he replies with a light chuckle leaving his lips.

“Come here big baby boy, awwww your just a big cuddle bugggg” You laugh at Carlos as he practically falls on top of you on the bed. Minutes prior you had forced him to take medication despite his “I’m an athlete my body is strong enough to fight it” pleas that went on and on and on. Carlos’ head rests right onto of your boobs and he shakes his head in them giving you a laugh. “Comfiest bed ever my love” he smiles, his arms tightening around you even more.

Ten minutes of silence later and you are both on the verge of sleep. “baby” he whispers hoping you’re still awake. “Yes Carlos” you reply bluntly, half annoyed he stopped you right before you could fall asleep. “Will you play with my hair? Mama used to play with my hair when I was sick.” The sheer softness of his voice told you he was begging for you to not make fun of him. He was at his most vulnerable right now and seeking comfort in your hold and attention. “ofcourse mi amor, now try sleep this off okay baby.” His head gently nods on your chest and you feel his body go limp as your fingers gently ran through his soft thick hair. Boy were you in love with this big baby of a man.

[iamunabletothinkofablogname]

Oo maybe 6? For the ask game :O :D

i treid sleeping i swear- anyways--

Uh this triggered something long, SHIT , you don't have to read it lol sorry QWQ MY DREAMS ARE MOVIES ATP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA alr well it was a little weird but bassically: me and my fam [even my dad for some reason but not my lil'est sis] were in a barn, and there were a lot of people there also sick, my dad was really sick [to the point where he was laying down, unable to open his eyes], the most sick. He was on one of the hays in the corner, the only one without doctors around him for some reason I was at the entrance of the barn area so I walked forward a bit and I saw a pig/white dog [can't remember], and I walked up to it cause why not. There were 2 men also next to the animal, 1 of them was js there so i dont remember him well, but the other one looked like litterally straight out of the 1890's, he had a tophat and a walking stick for some reason lol. I looked at the animal and made some kind of remark [i forgor, sorry, my memory is shit and i'm writing this at night, probably will continue in the morning], the man laughed and [im going to translate it but it might not make sense, since it was in arabic, which is something i rarely dream in?] said "remember that people and animals are the same [/neg, as in, animalistic], don't view them any different". I just nodded and then walked away, exploring the rest of the place. [although i believed the info] It was mainly just me like looking at the sick peeps and i saw the pig/dog running/jumping around from area to area, also looking at the sick people, pretty quickly, but they still never went to my dads area. [idk why but that was an important detail in the dream lol]. So after i finish inspecting and stuff, my mum tells me we need to go somewhere and we needed to go get stuff [she wasn't specific, and again, it makes more sense in arabic]. So we go, leaving the middle sibling as she became sick and a little tired as well, and the dream then skips to when me and my mum come back, my mum is holding a plastic bag filled with stuff i didnt know and im js holding chocolate [granted, i ate chocolate before bed so that may have affected it lol], but when we came back the place was mostly empty, only my dad in the corner [it was very far away and barely noticable but he was there, it was a really big place, more than 100m fs], and my sister in the middle-ish front of the place, next to a doctor in the barn and yk the docters stand in hospitals that they wheel around? with a screen? yeah she was next to that. My mum was mad at the doctor cause she was like 'oh as soon as we left, she got sick, it's the doctors fault, blah blah blah', and she started being angry at the doctor. After hearing my mum yap for a bit i js went up to my sister and she was very tired and she looked very sick, i bassically chilled with her, and we were talking as i ate my choc bar. I thought she was going to die in the dream but at the end she didn't, so yippee! Then another time skip happened and we were now all sitting at the side area of the barn and sitting on hay [btw i've never actually lived in a barn? or been to one that looked like that lol], and the doctors came up to us and were like "Oh yeah your husband [they were talking to my mum], died". and my mum deadass turned away from him and then the vibe suddenly was off [anxiety, it got like a scarier feeling for some reason], and she said "But his soul is still alive". I looked at her, then at his place, where his body was still there, but the body was dead, and a bad vibe hit me [idk how else to explain feelings help] and i said "His body is dead but his soul is still alive, he's alive" And then the dream fucking ended MY DAD ISN'T DEAD AS FAR AS I KNOW???

[troglobite]

i'm bored & in a permanent Stand By Mode bc of Life Situations, so for absolutely nobody but me, a comprehensive ranking and review of all villagers who have lived on my very first ever acnh island, illyria

ranked from worst to best for those currently on my island, i've also included their current catchphrases.

29. huck

-500000000/10. he was the worst. his face and nasty grey and yellow design made me nauseous. he was obnoxious and irritating. his house was ugly. i was forced to take him as my first smug villager. i resented him every single day. i even tried to give him a chance, and i just hated him all the more bc he kept saying and "translating" specifically spanish words incorrectly. i hated his guts. i hit him with nets, locked him inside his house and in random spots around the island whenever i saw him. i ran inside when he'd try to talk to me. and this was all before i even knew how many cool and adorable villagers were out there. that is how much i hate huck.

28. joey

0/10 i didn't interact with him at all. he was an autofill that happened purely by accident. tammy moved out and i fucked up time traveling and he moved in. i was DEVASTATED. however i got SO LUCKY. i jumped ahead two weeks to kickstart the moveout process and instead i got blanche in my campsite. i spent a few hours getting her to kick joey out. anyway, i didn't have time to develop a personal hatred of joey, but his appearance Upsets me. what's w the eyebrows and the dead eyes? no shade, but the diaper looks WEIRD when no other villagers really wear bottoms except for the superhero looking ones. what's your deal, dude?

27. rhonda

2/10 initially she was fine, but she ended up getting in fights with katt and vivian and flora all the time, so i grew to dislike her. initially i was like "oh cool, i like her white and purple design" but eventually she just got weird to look at. her catchphrase is bigfoot and that was. idk man it got weird after a while. i didn't really get along w her. i let her leave p much as soon as she asked, iirc.

26. benedict

3/10 he was a cutie. his cheeks looked silly. he was mostly sad all the time? and talked abt bugs too much. i know that's what the lazy villagers do, but truly he was OBSESSED. like i had sasha later on--benedict was OBSESSED, okay? and truly he mostly cried and was hurt and sad by the other residents of the island. it just didn't work out.

25. pinky

4/10 i went into the villager hunt without really any idea who i was looking for. this was quite early on. she's so forgettable i literally got to position 18 on the list before i realized i hadn't ranked her yet. whoops. she also had the MOST annoying habit of sitting EXACTLY WHERE I WAS TERRAFORMING. EVERY TIME!!!!! fucking maddening. she's also the only villager i've had that was significantly taller than my character, and i didn't really like it. she had her cute moments, though.

24. wolfgang

5/10 he was fine. i found him on a nmt island. i had no complaints. he was okay. his house was nice. but he was quite boring. i took him bc i didn't feel like continuing to hunt or look for anyone on nookazon (or whoever i wanted simply wasn't available on nookazon). truly just straight down the middle unremarkable. he was mainly a proof of concept that i could have a cranky villager as long as it was a wolf, bc the voice combo for them doesn't make me feel sick (butch the dog's voice makes me feel so nauseous). he was also the cranky to teach me all the reactions.

23. rosie

6/10 listen it's going to be increasingly difficult to rank all the villagers i've really liked. rosie was fine. she was in the campsite, i took her bc she was fun and interesting and purple (fight me) and i was bored. i believe she kicked out agnes? anyway, she was fun. i liked her. she didn't really offer anything unique and eventually her face kinda freaked me out. but she was fun.

22. lopez

7/10 beautiful eyes, look, hair, horns, everything darling. what a gorgeous lad. i'm not fond of orange so there's that. he was the first smug i allowed to stick around long enough to teach me all the reactions. he was fun while he lasted, but eventually it was just that his vibe didn't mesh with illyria's vibe. such is life. but he was a fun get from the campsite. i went through a brief campsite phase, i guess. lol

21. audie

8/10 fun and silly w a cool backstory and house but as you can see from the above, i'm not fond of orange. i eventually got sick of her design. she was also kind of aloof for some reason? it was odd. idk we never got THAT close. i found her on an island and took her bc i was like "oh she's named after that grandma!" so that was fun.

20. shino

8/10 once again v cute and fun. the novelty of her design was v cool. i was v excited to have found her on an island. i was looking for dobie but i figured i'd take her bc she'd sell for a lot on nookazon which would help me either buy or find dobie. she was really fun to have around while i had her! i also got to redesign her house which was nice. she was also kind of aloof, but i think i got her picture p quickly. so y'know, fun times.

19. whitney

8/10 just pretend all these 8/10 villagers are separated by .1 every time. lol whitney has a v pretty design and a lovely purple home interior. she was surprisingly sweet for a snooty villager and she gave me her photo quickly, too. she was chill but loved hanging out. i really enjoyed her. i almost took her a second time recently but meh. lol i think i had her at the same time as wolfgang briefly? not sure. but the trio of wolves, if it happened, was surely fun. she and vivian at least really got along which was cute.

18. ione

8/10 love her design (apart from her silly hair lol) and her eyes when she got shocked or excited were so cute. i amiibo'd her in to replace aurora. she also gave me the idea for the area around her house which ended up being really pretty. the redesign of her house was like, kind of meh. but it worked. anyway, i had her a good long while. she was cute and fun to have around.

17. sasha

9/10 he took SO LONG to ask me for a catchphrase, a greeting, and a nickname! SO LONG! i did find him on an island though which was special. and his eyes were literally so fucking cute that i hemmed and hawed abt letting him go for AGES. his dialogue got stale quickly, but he definitely didn't talk abt bugs as much as benedict did. he was more about the food which was significantly cuter to me. i also built him an entire sweets and plushies shop in front of his house. all v fun and cute. allowed me to explore my saccharine sweet side.

16. tammy

9/10 what a DELIGHT of a cub villager. she looks sassy and silly and yet So Fucking Chill. dream blunt rotation, y'know what i mean? i don't like yellow but i loved her. she never got in fights with other villagers. she and cat got along. she even got along w vivian. her house was really cute--i loved that we had some of the same furniture. i just loved having her around. i don't even remember how she came to move to the island, but it might've been an autofill or a really quick villager hunt. she's not someone i would've taken had i known the breadth of villagers available, but i'm so glad i had her on the island. i love her.

15. claudia

9/10 one of the first villagers i found on a nmt island after i was forced to take huck. i had so much trouble letting claudia go--i convinced a friend to take her bc she's a tiger and therefore technically a cat and fit her entirely cat island aspiration. lol i LOVE her purple and pink design. child me would've wanted as much merch of her as possible bc of the pink and purple shit. lol she was fun and kind and funny and i liked her house and her music. she and vivian were friendly. lol

14. kiki

9/10 maybe i just haven't built up a relationship with her yet, but she's the lowest scoring current resident of illyria. she just keeps saying/doing shit where i'm like ??? okay? excuse me? initially she was PRECIOUS. she was a campsite move in and i used her to kick out ione (i have like 5 ione amiibos, it's fine lol). i love her design for the most part but i DO regret giving her hats in the hopes they would be cute on her--they are not. why do only the beanies cover up cats' ears and NO OTHER HATS? it looks so stupid! anyway she's fun, she's cute, i like her. but really i mostly knocked it out of the park with her HOUSE. i redesigned the fuck out of that hideous monstrosity and it's SO CUTE, especially the outside. she hasn't asked me for a catchphrase yet and instead just took goldie's which is RIDICULOUS. it's woof!

13. blanche

9/10 MY BIRTHDAY TWIN! MY SAVIOR WHO KICKED OUT JOEY! i love her. she was so wonderful to have. i love her design, she's gorgeous. she and vivian were great friends. she got along with everyone. celebrating our birthdays together was so cool. her house was cute, too, esp in a time before we could redesign them. i was v grateful to have her and i was sad to let her leave. but i think i made sure she went to someone's island instead of getting voided. it's been a long time so idr. lol

12. agnes

9/10 the only pig whomst i love. what a fun gorgeous design. the sickeningly fashionable black/pink color combo? her cool af house and interior? her sassy vibes and how much she loved me and hanging out w me? impeccable, unstoppable, amazing. there's nothing to say except i loved having her around. found her on an island, and am so glad that i took her.

11. aurora

9/10 my darling sweetie pie, siblings w roald, cutie darling who was so round and sweet and cute. i got her off of nookazon to match roald so they could be siblings and i moved them nextdoor to each other briefly and their interactions were ADORABLE. eventually life on the island got a little stale so i wanted to shake things up. i had (have) 4 normal/sweet villagers, and i'd given aurora a vacation home and just felt that anything i built her was going to be. eh, idk, weird or not fit on the island. but luckily someone on nookazon who DESPERATELY wanted aurora, the way i had, took her from me. they loved what aurora was wearing and we celebrated happily that she went to a great loving home ☺️

10. roald

9/10 one of my two original starters. round meme boi who loved exercise and is round af. i love him. he's silly and sweet and stupid. he looks SO GOOD in the outfits i give him. it's adorable. i redesigned his house a few times to make it acceptable for a penguin who loves exercise. lol he's been getting a little boring lately, like he doesn't quite fit, but he's literally been on the island SINCE ITS INCEPTION. some of the very first screenshots/pictures i have from acnh in march 2020 include him!!! if i decide to let him go, he HAS to go to someone specifically. i can't void my perfect blue round boi. his catchphrase has been the same for years, as well: gaymerz.

9. flora

10/10 i was SO SAD to let her go, but for whatever reason, i decided to. luckily, she autofilled on a friend's island so i was able to visit her later on!!! she recognized me and we chatted and i about cried bc she's so fucking sweet. something abt her is just unbearably endearing. yes she talked abt popstar stuff, but more often she just talked abt fashion and friends. she was SO CUTE. she loved giving me nicknames and asking for catchphrases. her house was so cute. and her favorite song became MY favorite song for a while! kk condor. it's so fucking good. anyway, i love flora, i love my darling. i hope she had a nice time on the island of lesbos. if she's still there, i hope she's having a good time. if she left, i hope she got delivered or voided somewhere else nice. 💜

THIS IS WHERE THINGS BECOME NEARLY IMPOSSIBLE

8. poppy

10/10 her design is so unbearably cute. her little tail. her ears. the color red she is. her little FACE. her tiny little v mouth! her autumn-themed home! how adorable she looks in all the outfits i give her! she's been v sweet to me. i wanted her VERY badly back in 2020. a (former) friend of mine found her on a villager hunt and took her just for me. before they reset their island, they made it so poppy was ready to move out so i could take her. i've had her ever since. she's just so dang cute. she became part of my normal/sweet triad with goldie and maple. her catchphrase is peanut!

6. a two-way tie between maddie and shep

11/10 shep is the newest resident on illyria. i found him on a 238 ticket hunt where i was actually looking for punchy or purrl (both of whom i have previously passed on....😬 Regret lol). he was a back-up, but i met him and he was immediately so sweet and so cute and i just LOVED him. maddie i also found on a villager hunt--i was actually specifically looking for her! i'm a sucker for the dogs and a sucker for a lot of the peppys, so i REALLY wanted her. a friend of mine had her and i was like "holy shit, if you ever want her to move out, i'll take her" and then instead i found her on a villager hunt myself. lol they're tied because maddie's been here a lot longer, so the novelty is wearing off. i need to revitalize her living arrangement. but she's still ranked super high bc of just how fucking cute and sweet she is. how much she loves everything i do, how many times she's asked to come over or for me to come over. she's a DELIGHT and her design is SO FUCKING CUTE!!!! and shep is new so we don't have that unbreakable bond, yet! but oh my god he's adorable. he's SO FUN to dress up. i've given him so many hats and glasses which is the funniest possible thing. he loves the color blue and yet always wears a brown argyle sweater i gave him. he's so hilarious and sweet. unlike previous smug villagers i've had (mainly the first one, he who shan't be named), shep ALWAYS gets his languages CORRECT. and rather than being egotistical, he's concerned w aesthetic and FRIENDSHIP. he's delightfully sweet and fun. together, they're two of my three beloved dog villagers, and i love them. maddie's catchphrase is lesbi-chic, and shep hasn't asked for one, yet. he just took dobie's, which is palone-omi (which is polari for lesbian).

5. vivian

11/10 another one of my OG villagers. i think she was 7th to the island overall. she just...idk what it is about her vibe, but i can't get over her. delicate, elegant, silly, untouchable, kind of 80s/90s but in a classic way. i love her design, and i love how much she loves me. lol not all snooties get THAT close/sweet. i love her for it. she also rarely asks to leave, which i appreciate. lol i've been struggling to complete her house area bc of inspiration and practical difficulties wrt having inventory space and doing terraforming--esp since i now wanna redo a lot of stuff anyway. but she does currently have domain over a sushi restaurant next to the beachfront fish market. lol anyway, i love her. her catchphrase has been the same for years, too: sapph-chic.

4. goldie

12/10 the villager who replaced he who shan't be named! my FIRST EVER time actually hunting for a villager! i agonized and stressed and panicked. at the time it was EARLY days, so friends bought and donated nmts to the cause! lol (bought w nook miles, not irl $). found her on ticket 27 which i still remember to this day. she's such a cuteipie. i gave her a bakery/restaurant with all of the pompompurrin furniture. she also wears the clothes from that set. you cannot comprehend how cute she is, i stg. even though her face design is a little strange, i simply can't let her go. i love her. her original catchphrase was so cute i've refused to change it. right now it's "woof woof" though. lol

AND NOW THE TOP THREE

3. maple

12/10 in terms of character design, she is, objectively, The Cutest Villager Of All Time. she's so simple and classic and perfect like that. she was the SECOND villager i went specifically looking for after goldie, and i got her on ticket 6. there was no way i was passing her up. someone i knew on figure skating twitter had her and let her go bc she was "boring" and i was like BLASPHEMY! luckily i found her myself not long after. lol anyway, i've redesigned her house, i've given her so many clothes, i just celebrated her birthday recently! it's june 15th and i'm back on june 17th in-game bc of how i've been playing. lol anyway, i love her. her dialogue refreshes and gets interesting again every once in a while, and i have a video of her dancing on a festivale stage--fucking ADORABLE. lol her catchphrase is honeybun. lol

2. dobie

15/10 best old man grandpa what a wonderful design what incredible vibes. i gave him an antique shop to run! i've got pictures of him sweeping in it. literal perfection. his dialogue is always so funny or sweet. he's always cooking. he's just so goddamn endearing and fun to have around. i gave him one of my spare mom's sweaters and bro he looks adorable in it. i redid his house, too, bc i was like THIS MAN HAS NOWHERE TO SIT OR LAY DOWN!!! so i gave him a bed and a couch as well bc i'm like !!! HIS OLD BONES!!! THEY GOTTA REST! HE MUST HAVE PLACES TO NAP!!!! he simply deserves the best and that's all he gets. i found him about 70 tickets into a hunt specifically for him? it was raining and i loved him. success! once again, his catchphrase is palone-omi.

katt

50000/10 my first my best my darling. my everything!!! what a perfectly adorable strange unique cute design. i LOVE her. she is my wife in the game. we're married. she runs the farm and i run the farmer's market for her. i redesigned her house to give her a ~cool vibe~ to match her history of playing in/loving various bands. i'm thinking of redesigning it again to make it more homey for her! but she is the litmus test that all new villagers must pass. if they get along w katt, they're good in my book. not getting along w katt has been the death knell for a few (rhonda in particular). vivian and katt have had disagreements, but not in a LONG time, and they get along v well now. katt's design is perfect and adorable. perfect line between real/believable colors (an unofficial metric for my favorite villager designs) and cartoony cuteness. her white paws? so cute. the white tip on her striped tail? stop, adorable. HER LITTLE TEEFS?! SHE HAS SHARP POINTY TEEFS!!!! SO CUTE!!!! i can't stand it, i love her. katt is forever the best most important wonderful darling sweetiepie ever. she is my first acnh villager and the best. i want an amiibo of her just to frame it somewhere. i want an amiibo of her to use in all future animal crossing games if she doesn't show up of her own accord. katt is also the perfect soft butch lesbian. i give her cool clothes, which she loves, all in red and black for the most part. she loves being butch and cozy. her catchphrase has been and always will be some variation of "gay purride", the first wonderful catchphrase gay pun i ever came up with. i've stuck with it ever since. katt is perfect in every way and i simply will not hear a bad word against her. i love her so much. if i could have a girlfriend p much exactly like katt irl, i'd be happy. what a name! katt! what a vibe! sweet and mischievous but so heartfelt and sincere! what a lil cutie w such fun taste! she loves gardening and experimenting w recipes! she loves naps and staying up late! her favorite song is kk disco, and objectively fun song! she loves singing and dancing all around the island! i love katt so much. ☺️💜

[jacks-tracks]

Covid March 2024

Covid? Really? After dodging this disease since it began through 4 countries , I got it on a mexican plane. Only one on the plane wearing a mask, which proves the conspiracy theory.. Masks give you Covid.

I had no symptoms until arriving in Corozal, then accelerating from a dry cough to sneezing, low fever, lethargy. Hard to tell lethargy from laziness, but the fever was the tell tale. Tested positive(hot red lines instantly 2 days in a row), rats. So, self isolate for 10 days from 1st symptoms, which may be more than needed, but folks here are mostly not vaccinated, so best be safe.

Luckily I'm staying in a little house, with hot plate, tiny fridge, and choice of fan or AC. Comfy bed, airy porch with Adirondack chairs, hot shower. Air B&B, and the landlady lives in the big house, so she checked on me daily. She runs a dog rescue center here, currently 6 dogs as well as her own fat German shepard and even fatter Staffordshire. These are all friendly dogs and I'm one of the pack, giving neck rubs and pets equally. like all tropical dogs, they sleep most of the day, saving up for the nightly barkfest, when all the dogs in the neighbourhood(and everybody has at least one dog) bark out the news, scaring imaginary thieves, making a racket and generally having dog fun. Earplugs.

Being sick away from home is boring. There,s nothing to do except watch old movies and veg out. I do have a food delivery service, ordering on Whats app and getting stuff dropped off by motorcycle courier. Small fee, and way easier than shopping my self in a series of tiny stores. I can get lots of fruit, especially citrus for vitamin C, and chicken fully frozen. All commercial chickens in Belize are factory produced and frozen. Sanitary I hope. Potatoes, onions, peppers, all are here. There is a tiny fruit stand one half mile down the road who had one of the best papayas I,ve ever tasted. So, eat, doze, internet. Sounds like a winter at home except it's 32 degrees.

Bloody hot,pretty humid, with a strong trade wind to stir the air. Days a re 12 hours long, with happy mosquitoes at night (screens) which means no sitting out in the tropical evenings. That's a travel agent myth. Everyplace I,ve been has mosquitoes, from Bali to Hanoi, Costa Rica to Mexico. That's how Dengue spreads as well as Malaria. Never had malaria despite so much tropical traveling, and never want it!

Corozal is flat, hot and boring. there are no beaches, just muck, and no scenic attractions. There are some tiny ruins, but having climbed most of the pyramids in CA, so what. Seems like a place where weary travelers crossed the Mexican border and stalled. Mostly blacks with some chinese, and an increasing population of Mexicans and central americans,. Supposedly an English speaking country, lots speak only Spanish, and the locals have an accent that needs google translate. Friendly enough, but crime is rife, and there,s no safe nightlife. A typical 3rd world mix of very poor and very rich with a thin layer of rising middle class. The traditional wooden homes raised up on pilings are being replaced by the more durable, bug proof cement block shacks. These vary from simple cubicles to 3 story palaces, depending on the owners wealth. The handyman here tells about earlier times when he had a Dory(rowboat) on the New river which divides Belize from mexico and had a thriving trade, moving bales of grass into Mexico and illegal immigrants into Belize. Boats would anchor offshore to drop off goods. Were there police? Yes, he said, but only 3 of them, and they wanted no trouble. Then came cocaine, big money, gangs, and cartels.Guns and gang wars. He quit in time, but now there are shoot outs, contract killings, and , trouble. Parts of the highway are no go zones at night, and chopped up bodies get dumped into the cane fields to be burned beyond recognition. Ugh!

I recall 20 years ago meeting a nice local guy in Placencia who had built some beautiful hardwood cabins for rent. Financed by bale fishing. What's that i asked? Drug runners chased by coast guard boats would dump their sealed bales of pot(50 pounds each), and locals would recover some for resale. my friend found 3, and sold the first one to the dealers for $5000. Second time they told him 2500,and when he brought the 3rd one they flourished guns and said he had to work for them. He said take this one for free and I no longer have a boat, goodbye.. Made enough cash to build his resort and retire. While we were chatting a gorgeous woman came bleary eyed out of the cabin, Miss Belize 3 years before. She was there with her boyfriend, shaved headed and wild eyed. Just out of Belize prison, one of the worst in the world. He did 4 years for manslaughter. Hey, my friend asked, how's Jimmy doing in there? Oh said Mr convict. He got the chop! What? Yah mon, we standing side by side in the morning count line when somebody behind him reach around and cut his throat. Nobody say nothing. Literally: Hey mon, how Jeemy do dere? Oh, heem. He done got da chop.Say wha? Yah mon, we all standin in da mawnin count line and some foker dey reach about and slash him troat. Nobody say nuttin, yo knaow?

I do meet interesting people! Makes covid sound like fun!

[brendaaaa]

Dumb Russian (Boris Pavlikovsky x fem!Reader)

You stormed into the apartment building, furious with Boris. After three months, three whole fabulous months of dating, you had strong reason to believe he was cheating on you. With none other than your very best friend Theo Decker. You were practically seething as you threw open his bedroom door. “BORIS!”

He looked at you with a thoughtful expression. He was strewn across his unmade bed in just a pair of ratty jeans. A cigarette teetered between his middle and forefingers. “Woah there, принцесса (princess). What is wrong?” “Everything. Everything is wrong Boris! You stupid fucking idiot!” You kicked his bed frame. He looked at you, slightly disturbed. “What did I do?” “Oh! Play dumb, sure you asshole! You know what you did,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes. It was a painful truth you had seen written in a notebook in your boyfriend’s untidy scrawl a few days ago. Wish I had Potter instead of my любимая девушка, he’s so good В постели. (Girlfriend, In bed.) It took you three days to translate. Three goddamn days struggling through your English-Russian dictionary, three days poring over the notebook, desperately wishing for it to mean anything else. Anything but the unbearable truth. That Boris was indeed cheating with “Potter”, his stupid nickname for Theo. You spent all night crying, sobbing into your pillow. Tossing and turning and deciding whether or not to confront him. After the few restless hours that you were able to sleep, you woke up angry. And all you wanted was to know why your boyfriend “wished he had Potter.” “Oh god Boris, don’t even give me that innocent face bullSHIT,” you escalated, throwing your arms up in the air. Boris didn’t move a muscle except to take a puff on his smoke. “If it was bullshit, as you say, then why do I not know what you are talking about?” He said calmly. “You idiot!” You screamed, a tear escaping your eye. “You cheated on me!” You choked back a sob. “How could you?!”

Boris still looked confused, but there was a twinge of annoyance in his voice as he said, “Pot calling the kettle black, Y/n?” Your eyes widened in disbelief, as you sniffed, wiping a tear off your cheek. “What did you say?” Boris sat up, discarding his cigarette, “You say...I’m a cheater. But you aren’t one to talk. I know what you do.” You bitterly laughed, “I don’t know if this is some sick game of yours, trying to avoid telling me the truth, but it’s absolute bullshit. Be a fucking man, Boris. Own up to what you did.” “Own up to what? I never slept with anyone else. You are галлюцинации. Псих” (Hallucinating, crazy). “I’m what? Speak english, asshole!” He rolled his eyes to the high heavens. “Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t fucking matter. YOU are a cheater, y/n. I saw you leave his house.” You brushed him off, “No, no, no. I’m not falling for your stupid trick! Just tell me why you did it! Was I not good enough?” You said, emotion spilling out of your words. “Why don’t you tell me, сука?” (bitch) “I saw you. I wasn’t going to tell you I saw. I didn’t think it worth confrontation. But, here you are, being a Псих сука.” (crazy bitch) “So why, y/n, WHY DID YOU DO IT?” He got up, raising his voice and pointing a finger in your face. “I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING!” You yelled back. “WHY DID YOU BORIS? WHY DID YOU?” You cried, tears now dripping down your face. “I...did NOTHING,” he spat. “You,” you sobbed. “You hurt me. You HURT ME!” You screamed, backing away from him. “YOU ARE CRAZY! OUT OF YOUR MIND! I DIDN’T CHEAT ON YOU, YOU CHEATED ON ME!” Boris shot back. “NO, BORIS, NO! IT’S THE OTHER FUCKING WAY AROUND! I SAW WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT YOU AND THEO!”

Boris froze, and you thought miserably, ha, got him. But instead he tilted his head to the side, “Y/n, are you stupid? You know Theo and I used to hook up. Before you. It was probably old. Show me. What did I write?” You glared icily at him through tears, because even if he didn’t actually cheat, he had still accused you of it. Which made no sense at all, as you would never dream of seeing anyone else. But nevertheless, you reached for your backpack and pulled at the notebook, throwing at him.

He managed to catch it before it dropped to the ground after hitting him squarely in the chest, and opened it to the dog-eared page. He scanned it for a moment, then snorted, tossing it on the bed.

“Girlfriend. You thought that was you?”

You nodded, very confused.

“No. Kotku, my ex girlfriend. A real сука,” Boris sucked in his teeth and continued, “I cheated on her. Yes, with Theo. But Theo doesn’t want to be with me. I don’t want to be with him. I’ve been faithful the whole time we are together. You,” he shook his head. “You have not been.”

“Lies,” you wiped your face with your sleeve. “I never ever would’ve cheated on you, Boris. Not in a million years. I don’t know what you saw. But I promise.”

He sneered at you, shaking your head, “Like I’ll believe you. I saw you leave Theo’s house. You probably staged this to try and cover up what you did. Didn’t you?”

“But-Boris, what?” you sputtered, trying to understand. “You friggin’ saw me leave Theo’s house? Well, OKAY! He’s my best friend, I didn’t know hanging out with friends was incriminating evidence all of the sudden,” you said, exasperated.

Boris glared, crossing his arms.

“Dumb russian,” you added for good measure.

“Uh, guys? What’s going on?” A voice asked, and you spun around to see Theo, holding his coat and looking perplexed.

“Oh, thank god!” You exclaimed. “Theo, tell Boris we never slept together!”

Theo made a face, “Excuse me? Boris, what the hell? Why would I sleep with your girlfriend?”

Boris didn’t respond, he actually seemed kind of embarrassed that he was wrong, so you filled Theo in on the fierce argument you just had.

When you were done explaining, he only shook his head, a slight smile on his face.

“What?” you asked, rather defensively.

“Only you two,” he grinned. “Well, go on.”

“What?” Boris raised an eyebrow.

“Apologize to each other, dammit!” Theo exclaimed, and you begrudgingly stuck out your hand.

“Boris, I’m really sorry for assuming the worst. Forgive me?”

He shook it, saying, “I forgive, принцесса” (princess)

“I’m sorry too.” he said. “Want a beer?” He pointed towards the kitchen.

You grinned, “yeah,” and just like that, things were back to the way they always were.

“Come on,” Theo complained. “I came here to hang out, not to babysit you two.”

“Then don’t,” you said sassily.

“Get wasted with us,” Boris suggested.

Theo swore under his breath, then grabbed a bottle.

“Fine. But only a little.”

You and Boris turned, made eye contact, and laughed, knowing that Theo would get plenty drunk in no time. You kissed his cheek, so relieved that you had screwed up, and Boris still loved you.

As if reading your mind, he muttered, “I love you, принцесса,” under his breath, so that you and only you could hear.

Word Count: 1120

[dizzydennis]

Sonic & Vector - Sonic Channel Cover Story [English Translation]

Translator note: Please understand that I am not fluent. I am doing this to get some language practice and to bring this fun story to other Sonic fans. Constructive criticism is fine, but please don’t be rude or overly criticize my translation efforts.

“Oh, Sonic! I see you’re active as usual, Mr. Lady-Killer!”

One afternoon, the clear blue sky washed over the chalk-white building of Apotos.

In the middle of the town plaza, Sonic was sitting on a pile of wreckage. This wreckage being Eggman’s robots. He was overwhelmed when he heard that voice shout at him. That strong voice belonged to the giant crocodile who was also an incredible private detective... Vector the Crocodile.

The town and the people within it had not yet calmed down from the trouble caused by Eggman’s robot attack. Sonic replied with a sigh while looking towards Vector.

“Lady-Killer, heh. That’s right. But I’m more hungry than attractive right now. The chilidog shop hasn’t reopened yet.”

“Hahaha, seems about right. I rushed over here as soon as I heard trouble going down, but it seems like things settled down without my help.”

As dusk came, a red hue covered the white city. After the chaos subsided, Sonic and Vector consulted with the townspeople who had gathered around. They were told that Apotos has been attacked by Eggman’s robots every couple days for the past few months, but nobody knew why.

Vector danced to Sonic’s side with a big smile. His passion was bubbling up inside too as he said “Now things are getting pretty interesting!”

“If you need somebody to solve this mystery, just leave it to Vector! Let’s just make this clear. The reward for solving this will be food and drinks! Everybody knows of my talents. Ain’t that right, Sonic?”

Since Sonic was brought up, the townspeople became struck with interest as they looked at the Blue Blur.

“What!? Well...uh... I guess he’s the best detective I know...”

Vector burst out in such a good mood that he didn’t notice Sonic mumbling,

“Although I don’t know of any other detectives...”

“Yeah! I’m the leader of the Chaotix Detective Agency and there’s no mystery that good ol’ Vector can’t solve!”

Sonic shrugged and chuckled bitterly. Anyway, the investigation into the Apotos attacks would soon begin.

Vector was in a good mood as he surveyed his surroundings in the morning.

While listening to Sonic, who followed with a blank expression, Vector grinned as he traced footprints left on the road by some mischievous robots.

After spending about half the day following these footprints, they ended up in front of a general store. Vector gave a mysterious look as he began to connect the dots.

“This shop smells funny ...the robots gross footprints cross right in front of this shop... Moreover, we heard that the attacks only occurred on clear days... and all the robots seemed like they were breaking at the seams... I got it!”

Vector’s eyes opened wide as he shouted,

“The chilidogs in this shop are so delicious that the robots can’t resist them!”

“WHAT!? How’d you come to that conclusion!?”

"It is a well-known fact among the locals that this here store, "Seagulls of the Waves," is secretly a chili dog store! On a clear day, customers even line up. Even a robot that could fall apart at any moment would be lured in by the smell and they’d stand here in this soil just to get a bite!"

“Robots don’t even eat. Did you forget that?”

“That’s exactly what Eggman wants you to think!”

Vector slipped past Sonic and threw his momentum into the door, swinging it open. He was greeted by the elderly shopkeeper.

“Ah, so it’s just a general store. Daily necessities, souvenirs, stones, antiques, and... look what we have here! A chili dog!”

Vector walked around the store, letting his mouth run to the flabbergasted shopkeeper. He suddenly noticed a dark stone by the window. He closed his eyes for a moment and while reaching for it, he grabbed the chilidog and started scarfing it down!

“What’a know! This ain’t half bad! So, the real culprit is you, Old Man!”

As expected, the elderly man got pretty angry and kicked Vector out of his shop. Vector dashed out into the town!

“Don’t try that nonsense again!”

“Oh, but my deductions...”

Nevertheless, Sonic was getting sick of Vector’s messy investigation skills, but then he something stuck out to him.

“Was it... just a ploy for him to steal it...”

The streets of Apotos shined blue beneath the moonlight. On a small hill overlooking the town, there was the faint figure of Vector with a delightfully devilish smile. It seemed like something was shining in his right hand.

Eggman’s robots began to show up. They were older models, broken and moving awkwardly, but they had their eyes et on Vector; he was seen as an enemy.

“Is it because of this little guy?”

In Vector’s hand was the stone he “borrowed” from the general store. Vector let out a strong cough and then belted out in a loud voice,

“Our story begins with the old man at the general store picking up this little fella! Sometimes, this little stone shimmers with pure energy with seven colors. It definitely seems like those robots are attracted to this thing.”

Dozens of robots made a circle around Vector and started to close in on him.

“I wonder if the signal this thing was sending out was attracting these old junkbots. On a clear day like today, perhaps they were able to detect it from far off? The real criminal of this case... is this... CHAOS EMERALD!?”

Vector raised the Chaos Emerald to the night sky with his right hand.

As if one cue, the robots moved in to attack Vector from every direction, but they were all wiped out in an instant cause in the wake of a blue afterimage.

Vector smiled as the robots were lifted up and exploded into nothingness. After a brief moment, Sonic appeared there without making a sound.

“After all that, the great Sonic appears! Seems you heard me then!”

“I’m just relieved that the stupid voice I heard wasn’t just some guy giving a soliloquy, but it was you, Vector!”

Sonic had quickly realized that Vector had “borrowed” the Chaos Emerald from the general store and, on his own, was following the detective crocodile. However, there were still things that Sonic didn’t understand.

“Why’d you just run off without explaining anything?”

“Well, if everybody in the town knew the source of these attacks, it’d cause a lot of trouble for that nice shopkeeper, right? My rewards were already decided, so what’s a little bit of shame on top of that. You know?”

“Phew,” Sonic whistled as he was impressed. Throughout it all, Vector was focused on solving the case.

“Now I get it,” Sonic muttered as he looked around and then said,

“But Vector... the people of this town are kind and understanding. Right, everyone?”

Sonic then gave a signal as he turned around to show the townspeople coming to the two heroes; the elderly shopkeeper too.

“The stone I had grabbed caused so much trouble to everyone...”

The townspeople replied, “Nobody in Apotos blames you for this!” “That’s right.” “We all think so too!”

There was so much compassion for the old man. However, Vector wanted to know the whole story,

“Why are all the townsfolk here!?”

Sonic quickly replied, “Sorry! The truth is... since you stole the Chaos Emerald from the general store, I told the nice man that I’d catch you and I brought them here.”

“Hey, hey! What kind of sick joke is this!?”

“Can’t you see this is how it happened? Well, just by chance, everything sort of worked out in front of everybody. So it’s all good!”

“Urgggh! (Give me a break. You told everybody about what I did.)”

Sonic was thinking about Vector’s future with the people of this town.

That’s right. Sonic was making sure that Vector was being taken care of. Even when faced with such a cool hero, Vector gave way to a bitter smile.

After all, Sonic would take care of the Chaos Emerald. Now the people of Apotos didn’t need to worry about being attacked by robots. They seemed overjoyed with his revelation.

That night, a feast was held to celebrate solving the case and to celebrate the heroes’ success. Sonic was very happy with his pile of chili dogs.

It turns out that for the first few minutes, Sonic was reluctant to be quiet, but after having reading the room, he could see Vector was being called "Detective" by everybody. It put the crocodile in a very good mood!

Involuntarily, the Vector’s overly excited tone popped out.

"Oh, my beloved fans! I am Vector, the leader of the Chaotix Detective Agency, and there’s no mystery that I can't solve!"

Sonic responded with a thumbs-up.

"You got it... Mr. Lady-Killer!"

[chrisevansluv]

Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

The 30-year-old Bud Light-chugging, Beantown-bred star of The Avengers is widely perceived as the ultimate guy's guy. But beneath the bro persona lies a serious student of Buddhism, an unrepentant song-and-dance man, and a guy who talks to his mom about sex. And farts.

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

We're at Evans' apartment, an expansive but not overly tricked-out bachelor-pad-ish loft in a semi-industrial nowheresville part of Boston, hard by Chinatown, near an area sometimes called the Combat Zone. Evans has a fuzzy, floppy, slept-in-his-clothes aspect that'd be nearly unrecognizable if you knew him only by the upright, spit-polished bearing of the onscreen hero. His dog, East, a sweet and slobbery American bulldog, is spread out on a couch in front of the TV. The shelves of his fridge are neatly stacked with much of the world's supply of Bud Light in cans and little else.

On the counter sit a few buckets of muscle-making whey-protein powder that belong to Evans' roommate, Zach Jarvis, an old pal who sometimes tags along on set as a paid "assistant" and a personal trainer who bulked Evans up for his role as the super-ripped patriot in last summer's blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger. A giant clock on the exposed-brick wall says it's early evening, but Evans operates on his own sense of time. Between gigs, his schedule's all his, which usually translates into long stretches of alone time during the day and longer social nights for the 30-year-old.

"I could just make this . . . disappear," says Josh Peck, another old pal and occasional on-set assistant, in a deadpan mumble, poking at the voice recorder I'd left on the table while I was in the bathroom.

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

But not saying things isn't in the Evans DNA. They're an infectiously gregarious clan. Irish-Italians, proud Bostoners, close-knit, and innately theatrical. "We all act, we sing," Evans says. "It was like the fucking von Trapps." Mom was a dancer and now runs a children's theater. First-born Carly directed the family puppet shows and studied theater at NYU. Younger brother Scott has parts on One Life to Live and Law & Order under his belt and lives in Los Angeles full-time—something Evans stopped doing several years back. Rounding out the circle are baby sister Shanna and a pair of "strays" the family brought into their Sudbury, Massachusetts, home: Josh, who went from mowing the lawn to moving in when his folks relocated during his senior year in high school; and Demery, who was Evans' roommate until recently.

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Growing up, they had a special floor put in the basement where all the kids practiced tap-dancing. The party-ready rec room also had a Ping-Pong table and a separate entrance. This was the house kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang at, and this was the kind of family you wanted to be adopted by. Spend an afternoon listening to them dish old dirt and talk over each other and it's easy to see why. Now they're worried they've said too much, laid bare the tender soul of the actor behind the star-spangled superhero outfit, so there's talk of offing the interviewer. I can hear all this from the bathroom, which, of course, is the point of a good stage whisper.

To be sure, no one's said too much, and the more you're brought into the embrace of this boisterous, funny, shit-slinging, demonstrably loving extended family, the more likable and enviable the whole dynamic is.

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

We're operating under a no-names rule, so I'm not asking if it's Jessica Biel who made this memorable first impression. She and Evans were serious for a couple of years. But I don't want to picture lovely Jessica Biel getting sick at Auntie Pam's or in the car or, really, anywhere.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

"That dog is the love of his life," Mrs. Evans says. "Which tells me he'll be an unbelievable parent, but I don't want him to get married right now." She turns to Chris. "The way you are, I just don't think you're ready."

Some other things I learn about Evans from his mom: He hates going to the gym; he was so wound-up as a kid she'd let him stand during dinner, his legs shaking like caged greyhounds; he suffered weekly "Sunday-night meltdowns" over schoolwork and the angst of the sensitive middle-schooler; after she and his father split and he was making money from acting, he bought her the Sudbury family homestead rather than let her leave it.

Eventually his mom and Josh depart, and Evans and I go to work depleting his stash of Bud Light. It feels like we drink Bud Light and talk for days, because we basically do. I arrived early Friday evening; it's Saturday night now and it'll be sunup Sunday before I sleeplessly make my way to catch a train back to New York City. Somewhere in between we slip free of the gravitational pull of the bachelor pad and there's bottle service at a club and a long walk with entourage in tow back to Evans' apartment, where there is some earnest-yet-surreal group singing, piano playing, and chitchat. Evans is fun to talk to, partly because he's an open, self-mocking guy with an explosive laugh and no apparent need to sleep, and partly because when you cut just below the surface, it's clear he's not quite the dude's dude he sometimes plays onscreen and in TV appearances.

From a distance, Chris Evans the movie star seems a predictable, nearly inevitable piece of successful Hollywood packaging come to market. There's his major-release debut as the dorkily unaware jock Jake in the guilty pleasure Not Another Teen Movie (in one memorable scene, Evans has whipped cream on his chest and a banana up his ass). The female-friendly hunk appeal—his character in The Nanny Diaries is named simply Harvard Hottie—is balanced by a kind of casual-Friday, I'm-from-Boston regular-dudeness. Following the siren song of comic-book cash, he was the Human Torch in two Fantastic Four films. As with scrawny Steve Rogers, the Captain America suit beefed up his stature as a formidable screen presence, a bankable leading man, all of which leads us to The Avengers, this season's megabudget, megawatt ensemble in which he stars alongside Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Hemsworth.

It all feels inevitable—and yet it nearly didn't happen. Evans repeatedly turned down the Captain America role, fearing he'd be locked into what was originally a nine-picture deal. He was shooting Puncture, about a drug-addicted lawyer, at the time. Most actors doing small-budget legal dramas would jump at the chance to play the lead in a Marvel franchise, but Evans saw a decade of his life flash before his eyes.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

By "the woods," he doesn't mean a quiet life away from the spotlight, some general metaphorical life escape route. He means the actual woods. "For a long time all I wanted for Christmas were books about outdoor survival," he says. "I was convinced that I was going to move to the woods. I camped a lot, I took classes. At 18, I told myself if I don't live in the woods by the time I'm 25, I have failed."

Evans has described his hesitation at signing on for Captain America. Usually he talks about the time commitment, the loss of what remained of his relative anonymity. On the junkets for the movie, he was open about needing therapy after the studio reduced the deal to six movies and he took the leap. What he doesn't usually mention is that he was racked with anxiety before the job came up.

"I get very nervous," Evans explains. "I shit the bed if I have to present something on stage or if I'm doing press. Because it's just you." He's been known to walk out of press conferences, to freeze up and go silent during the kind of relaxed-yet-high-stakes meetings an actor of his stature is expected to attend: "Do you know how badly I audition? Fifty percent of the time I have to walk out of the room. I'm naturally very pale, so I turn red and sweat. And I have to literally walk out. Sometimes mid-audition. You start having these conversations in your brain. 'Chris, don't do this. Chris, take it easy. You're just sitting in a room with a person saying some words, this isn't life. And you're letting this affect you? Shame on you.'"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

Okay, there was one on-set panic attack—while Evans was shooting Puncture. "We were getting ready to do a court scene in front of a bunch of people, and I don't know what happened," he says. "It's just your brain playing games with you. 'Hey, you know how we sometimes freak out? What if we did it right now?'"

One of the people who advised Evans to take the Captain America role was his eventual Avengers costar Robert Downey Jr. "I'd seen him around," Downey says. "We share an agent. I like to spend a lot of my free time talking to my agent about his other clients—I just had a feeling about him."

What he told Evans was: This puppy is going to be big, and when it is you're going to get to make the movies you want to make. "In the marathon obstacle course of a career," Downey says, "it's just good to have all the stats on paper for why you're not only a team player but also why it makes sense to support you in the projects you want to do—because you've made so much damned money for the studio."

There's also the fact that Evans had a chance to sign on for something likely to be a kind of watershed moment in the comic-book fascination of our time. "I do think The Avengers is the crescendo of this superhero phase in entertainment—except of course for Iron Man 3," Downey says. "It'll take a lot of innovation to keep it alive after this."

Captain America is the only person left who was truly close to Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man), which meant that Evans' and Downey's story lines are closely linked, and in the course of doing a lot of scenes together, they got to be pals. Downey diagnoses his friend with what he terms "low-grade red-carpet anxiety disorder."

"He just hates the game-show aspect of doing PR," Downey says. "Obviously there's pressure for anyone in this transition he's in. But he will easily triple that pressure to make sure he's not being lazy. That's why I respect the guy. I wouldn't necessarily want to be in his skin. But his motives are pure. He just needs to drink some red-carpet chamomile."

"The majority of the world is empty space," Chris Evans says, watching me as if my brain might explode on hearing this news—or like he might have to fight me if I try to contradict him. We're back at his apartment after a cigarette run through the Combat Zone.

"Empty space!" he says again, slapping the table and sort of yelling. Then, in a slow, breathy whisper, he repeats: "Empty space, empty space. All that we see in the world, the life, the animals, plants, people, it's all empty space. That's amazing!" He slaps the table again. "You want another beer? Gotta be Bud Light. Get dirty—you're in Boston. Okay, organize your thoughts. I gotta take a piss . . ."

My thoughts are this: That this guy who is hugging his dog and talking to me about space and mortality and the trouble with Boston girls who believe crazy gossip about him—this is not the guy I expected to meet. I figured he'd be a meatball. Though, truthfully, I'd never called anyone a meatball until Evans turned me on to the put-down. As in: "My sister Shanna dates meatballs." And, more to the point: "When I do interviews, I'd rather just be the beer-drinking dude from Boston and not get into the complex shit, because I don't want every meatball saying, 'So hey, whaddyathink about Buddhism?'"

At 17, Evans came across a copy of Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and began his spiritual questing. It's a path of study and struggle that, he says, defines his true purpose in life. "I love acting. It's my playground, it lets me explore. But my happiness in this world, my level of peace, is never going to be dictated by acting," he says. "My goal in life is to detach from the egoic mind. Do you know anything about Eastern philosophy?"

I sip some Bud Light and shake my head sheepishly. "They talk about the egoic mind, the part of you that's self-aware, the watcher, the person you think is driving this machine," he says. "And that separation from self and mind is the root of suffering. There are ways of retraining the way you think. This isn't really supported in Western society, which is focused on 'Go get it, earn it, win it, marry it.'"

Scarlett Johansson says that one of the things she appreciates about Evans is how he steers clear of industry chat when they see each other. "Basically every actor," she says, "including myself, when we finish a job we're like, 'Well, that's it for me. Had a good run. Put me out to pasture.' But Chris doesn't strike me as someone who frets about the next job." The two met on the set of The Perfect Score when they were teenagers and have stayed close; The Avengers is their third movie together. "He has this obviously masculine presence—a dude's dude—and we're used to seeing him play heroic characters," Johansson says, "but he's also surprisingly sensitive. He has close female friends, and you can talk to him about anything. Plus there's that secret song-and-dance, jazz-hands side of Chris. I feel like he grew up with the Partridge Family. He'd be just as happy doing Guys and Dolls as he would Captain America 2."

East needs to do his business, so Evans and I take him up to the roof deck. Evans bought this apartment in 2010 when living in L.A. full-time no longer appealed to him. He came back to stay close to his extended family and the intimate circle of Boston pals he's maintained since high school. The move also seems like a pretty clear keep-it-real hedge against the manic ego-stroking distractions of Hollywood.

"I think my daytime person is different than my nighttime person," Evans says. "With my high-school buddies, we drink beer and talk sports and it's great. The kids in my Buddhism class in L.A., they're wildly intelligent, and I love being around them, but they're not talking about the Celtics. And that's part of me. It's a strange dichotomy. I don't mind being a certain way with some people and having this other piece of me that's just for me."

I asked Downey about Evans' outward regular-Joe persona. "It's complete horseshit," Downey says. "There's an inherent street-smart intelligence there. I don't think he tries to hide it. But he's much more evolved and much more culturally aware than he lets on."

Perhaps the meatball and the meditation can coexist. We argue about our egoic brains and the tao of Boston girls. "I love wet hair and sweatpants," he says in their defense. "I like sneakers and ponytails. I like girls who aren't so la-di-da. L.A. is so la-di-da. I like Boston girls who shit on me. Not literally. Girls who give me a hard time, bust my chops a little."

The chief buster of Evans' chops is, of course, Evans himself. "The problem is, the brain I'm using to dissect this world is a brain formed by it," he says. "We're born into confusion, and we get the blessing of letting go of it." Then he adds: "I think this shit by day. And then night comes and it's like, 'Fuck it, let's drink.'"

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

We talk about his dog and camping with his dog and why he loves being alone more than almost anything except maybe not being alone. "I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic," he says. "I sing, I dance. I do crazy shit."

Evans' unflagging, all-encompassing enthusiasm is impressive, itself a kind of social intelligence. "If you want to have a good conversation with him, don't talk about the fact that he's famous" was the advice I got from Mark Kassen, who codirected Puncture. "He's a blast, a guy who can hang. For quite a long time. Many hours in a row."

I've stopped looking at the clock. We've stopped talking philosophy and moved into more emotional territory. He asks questions about my 9-month-old son, and then Captain America gets teary when I talk about the wonder of his birth. "I weep at everything," he says. "I emote. I love things so much—I just never want to dilute that."

He talks about how close he feels to his family, how open they all are with each other. About everything. All the time. "The first time I had sex," he says, "I raced home and was like, 'Mom, I just had sex! Where's the clit?'"

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

Here is the 2012 Detail Magazine interview with chris evans:

The Avengers' Chris Evans: Just Your Average Beer-Swilling, Babe-Loving Buddhist

The 30-year-old Bud Light-chugging, Beantown-bred star of The Avengers is widely perceived as the ultimate guy's guy. But beneath the bro persona lies a serious student of Buddhism, an unrepentant song-and-dance man, and a guy who talks to his mom about sex. And farts.

By Adam Sachs,

Photographs by Norman Jean Roy

May 2012 Issue

"Should we just kill him and bury his body?" Chris Evans is stage whispering into the impassive blinking light of my digital recorder.

"Chris!" shouts his mother, her tone a familiar-to-anyone-with-a-mother mix of coddling and concern. "Don't say that! What if something happened?"

We're at Evans' apartment, an expansive but not overly tricked-out bachelor-pad-ish loft in a semi-industrial nowheresville part of Boston, hard by Chinatown, near an area sometimes called the Combat Zone. Evans has a fuzzy, floppy, slept-in-his-clothes aspect that'd be nearly unrecognizable if you knew him only by the upright, spit-polished bearing of the onscreen hero. His dog, East, a sweet and slobbery American bulldog, is spread out on a couch in front of the TV. The shelves of his fridge are neatly stacked with much of the world's supply of Bud Light in cans and little else.

On the counter sit a few buckets of muscle-making whey-protein powder that belong to Evans' roommate, Zach Jarvis, an old pal who sometimes tags along on set as a paid "assistant" and a personal trainer who bulked Evans up for his role as the super-ripped patriot in last summer's blockbuster Captain America: The First Avenger. A giant clock on the exposed-brick wall says it's early evening, but Evans operates on his own sense of time. Between gigs, his schedule's all his, which usually translates into long stretches of alone time during the day and longer social nights for the 30-year-old.

"I could just make this . . . disappear," says Josh Peck, another old pal and occasional on-set assistant, in a deadpan mumble, poking at the voice recorder I'd left on the table while I was in the bathroom.

Evans' mom, Lisa, now speaks directly into the microphone: "Don't listen to them—I'm trying to get them not to say these things!"

But not saying things isn't in the Evans DNA. They're an infectiously gregarious clan. Irish-Italians, proud Bostoners, close-knit, and innately theatrical. "We all act, we sing," Evans says. "It was like the fucking von Trapps." Mom was a dancer and now runs a children's theater. First-born Carly directed the family puppet shows and studied theater at NYU. Younger brother Scott has parts on One Life to Live and Law & Order under his belt and lives in Los Angeles full-time—something Evans stopped doing several years back. Rounding out the circle are baby sister Shanna and a pair of "strays" the family brought into their Sudbury, Massachusetts, home: Josh, who went from mowing the lawn to moving in when his folks relocated during his senior year in high school; and Demery, who was Evans' roommate until recently.

"Our house was like a hotel," Evans says. "It was a loony-tunes household. If you got arrested in high school, everyone knew: 'Call Mrs. Evans, she'll bail you out.'"

Growing up, they had a special floor put in the basement where all the kids practiced tap-dancing. The party-ready rec room also had a Ping-Pong table and a separate entrance. This was the house kids in the neighborhood wanted to hang at, and this was the kind of family you wanted to be adopted by. Spend an afternoon listening to them dish old dirt and talk over each other and it's easy to see why. Now they're worried they've said too much, laid bare the tender soul of the actor behind the star-spangled superhero outfit, so there's talk of offing the interviewer. I can hear all this from the bathroom, which, of course, is the point of a good stage whisper.

To be sure, no one's said too much, and the more you're brought into the embrace of this boisterous, funny, shit-slinging, demonstrably loving extended family, the more likable and enviable the whole dynamic is.

Sample exchange from today's lunch of baked ziti at a family-style Italian restaurant:

Mom: When he was a kid, he asked me, 'Mom, will I ever think farting isn't funny?'

Chris: You're throwing me under the bus, Ma! Thank you.

Mom: Well, if a dog farts you still find it funny.

Then, back at the apartment, where Mrs. Evans tries to give me good-natured dirt on her son without freaking him out:

Mom: You always tell me when you think a girl is attractive. You'll call me up so excited. Is that okay to say?

Chris: Nothing wrong with that.

Mom: And can I say all the girls you've brought to the house have been very sweet and wonderful? Of course, those are the ones that make it to the house. It's been a long time, hasn't it?

Chris: Looooong time.

Mom: The last one at our house? Was it six years ago?

Chris: No names, Ma!

Mom: But she knocked it out of the park.

Chris: She got drunk and puked at Auntie Pam's house! And she puked on the way home and she puked at our place.

Mom: And that's when I fell in love with her. Because she was real.

We're operating under a no-names rule, so I'm not asking if it's Jessica Biel who made this memorable first impression. She and Evans were serious for a couple of years. But I don't want to picture lovely Jessica Biel getting sick at Auntie Pam's or in the car or, really, anywhere.

East the bulldog ambles over to the table, begging for food.

"That dog is the love of his life," Mrs. Evans says. "Which tells me he'll be an unbelievable parent, but I don't want him to get married right now." She turns to Chris. "The way you are, I just don't think you're ready."

Some other things I learn about Evans from his mom: He hates going to the gym; he was so wound-up as a kid she'd let him stand during dinner, his legs shaking like caged greyhounds; he suffered weekly "Sunday-night meltdowns" over schoolwork and the angst of the sensitive middle-schooler; after she and his father split and he was making money from acting, he bought her the Sudbury family homestead rather than let her leave it.

Eventually his mom and Josh depart, and Evans and I go to work depleting his stash of Bud Light. It feels like we drink Bud Light and talk for days, because we basically do. I arrived early Friday evening; it's Saturday night now and it'll be sunup Sunday before I sleeplessly make my way to catch a train back to New York City. Somewhere in between we slip free of the gravitational pull of the bachelor pad and there's bottle service at a club and a long walk with entourage in tow back to Evans' apartment, where there is some earnest-yet-surreal group singing, piano playing, and chitchat. Evans is fun to talk to, partly because he's an open, self-mocking guy with an explosive laugh and no apparent need to sleep, and partly because when you cut just below the surface, it's clear he's not quite the dude's dude he sometimes plays onscreen and in TV appearances.

From a distance, Chris Evans the movie star seems a predictable, nearly inevitable piece of successful Hollywood packaging come to market. There's his major-release debut as the dorkily unaware jock Jake in the guilty pleasure Not Another Teen Movie (in one memorable scene, Evans has whipped cream on his chest and a banana up his ass). The female-friendly hunk appeal—his character in The Nanny Diaries is named simply Harvard Hottie—is balanced by a kind of casual-Friday, I'm-from-Boston regular-dudeness. Following the siren song of comic-book cash, he was the Human Torch in two Fantastic Four films. As with scrawny Steve Rogers, the Captain America suit beefed up his stature as a formidable screen presence, a bankable leading man, all of which leads us to The Avengers, this season's megabudget, megawatt ensemble in which he stars alongside Scarlett Johansson, Mark Ruffalo, Robert Downey Jr., and Chris Hemsworth.

It all feels inevitable—and yet it nearly didn't happen. Evans repeatedly turned down the Captain America role, fearing he'd be locked into what was originally a nine-picture deal. He was shooting Puncture, about a drug-addicted lawyer, at the time. Most actors doing small-budget legal dramas would jump at the chance to play the lead in a Marvel franchise, but Evans saw a decade of his life flash before his eyes.

What he remembers thinking is this: "What if the movie comes out and it's a success and I just reject all of this? What if I want to move to the fucking woods?"

By "the woods," he doesn't mean a quiet life away from the spotlight, some general metaphorical life escape route. He means the actual woods. "For a long time all I wanted for Christmas were books about outdoor survival," he says. "I was convinced that I was going to move to the woods. I camped a lot, I took classes. At 18, I told myself if I don't live in the woods by the time I'm 25, I have failed."

Evans has described his hesitation at signing on for Captain America. Usually he talks about the time commitment, the loss of what remained of his relative anonymity. On the junkets for the movie, he was open about needing therapy after the studio reduced the deal to six movies and he took the leap. What he doesn't usually mention is that he was racked with anxiety before the job came up.

"I get very nervous," Evans explains. "I shit the bed if I have to present something on stage or if I'm doing press. Because it's just you." He's been known to walk out of press conferences, to freeze up and go silent during the kind of relaxed-yet-high-stakes meetings an actor of his stature is expected to attend: "Do you know how badly I audition? Fifty percent of the time I have to walk out of the room. I'm naturally very pale, so I turn red and sweat. And I have to literally walk out. Sometimes mid-audition. You start having these conversations in your brain. 'Chris, don't do this. Chris, take it easy. You're just sitting in a room with a person saying some words, this isn't life. And you're letting this affect you? Shame on you.'"

Shades of "Sunday-night meltdowns." Luckily the nerves never follow him to the set. "You do your neuroses beforehand, so when they yell 'Action' you can be present," he says.

Okay, there was one on-set panic attack—while Evans was shooting Puncture. "We were getting ready to do a court scene in front of a bunch of people, and I don't know what happened," he says. "It's just your brain playing games with you. 'Hey, you know how we sometimes freak out? What if we did it right now?'"

One of the people who advised Evans to take the Captain America role was his eventual Avengers costar Robert Downey Jr. "I'd seen him around," Downey says. "We share an agent. I like to spend a lot of my free time talking to my agent about his other clients—I just had a feeling about him."

What he told Evans was: This puppy is going to be big, and when it is you're going to get to make the movies you want to make. "In the marathon obstacle course of a career," Downey says, "it's just good to have all the stats on paper for why you're not only a team player but also why it makes sense to support you in the projects you want to do—because you've made so much damned money for the studio."

There's also the fact that Evans had a chance to sign on for something likely to be a kind of watershed moment in the comic-book fascination of our time. "I do think The Avengers is the crescendo of this superhero phase in entertainment—except of course for Iron Man 3," Downey says. "It'll take a lot of innovation to keep it alive after this."

Captain America is the only person left who was truly close to Howard Stark, father of Tony Stark (a.k.a. Iron Man), which meant that Evans' and Downey's story lines are closely linked, and in the course of doing a lot of scenes together, they got to be pals. Downey diagnoses his friend with what he terms "low-grade red-carpet anxiety disorder."

"He just hates the game-show aspect of doing PR," Downey says. "Obviously there's pressure for anyone in this transition he's in. But he will easily triple that pressure to make sure he's not being lazy. That's why I respect the guy. I wouldn't necessarily want to be in his skin. But his motives are pure. He just needs to drink some red-carpet chamomile."

"The majority of the world is empty space," Chris Evans says, watching me as if my brain might explode on hearing this news—or like he might have to fight me if I try to contradict him. We're back at his apartment after a cigarette run through the Combat Zone.

"Empty space!" he says again, slapping the table and sort of yelling. Then, in a slow, breathy whisper, he repeats: "Empty space, empty space. All that we see in the world, the life, the animals, plants, people, it's all empty space. That's amazing!" He slaps the table again. "You want another beer? Gotta be Bud Light. Get dirty—you're in Boston. Okay, organize your thoughts. I gotta take a piss . . ."

My thoughts are this: That this guy who is hugging his dog and talking to me about space and mortality and the trouble with Boston girls who believe crazy gossip about him—this is not the guy I expected to meet. I figured he'd be a meatball. Though, truthfully, I'd never called anyone a meatball until Evans turned me on to the put-down. As in: "My sister Shanna dates meatballs." And, more to the point: "When I do interviews, I'd rather just be the beer-drinking dude from Boston and not get into the complex shit, because I don't want every meatball saying, 'So hey, whaddyathink about Buddhism?'"

At 17, Evans came across a copy of Hermann Hesse's Siddhartha and began his spiritual questing. It's a path of study and struggle that, he says, defines his true purpose in life. "I love acting. It's my playground, it lets me explore. But my happiness in this world, my level of peace, is never going to be dictated by acting," he says. "My goal in life is to detach from the egoic mind. Do you know anything about Eastern philosophy?"

I sip some Bud Light and shake my head sheepishly. "They talk about the egoic mind, the part of you that's self-aware, the watcher, the person you think is driving this machine," he says. "And that separation from self and mind is the root of suffering. There are ways of retraining the way you think. This isn't really supported in Western society, which is focused on 'Go get it, earn it, win it, marry it.'"

Scarlett Johansson says that one of the things she appreciates about Evans is how he steers clear of industry chat when they see each other. "Basically every actor," she says, "including myself, when we finish a job we're like, 'Well, that's it for me. Had a good run. Put me out to pasture.' But Chris doesn't strike me as someone who frets about the next job." The two met on the set of The Perfect Score when they were teenagers and have stayed close; The Avengers is their third movie together. "He has this obviously masculine presence—a dude's dude—and we're used to seeing him play heroic characters," Johansson says, "but he's also surprisingly sensitive. He has close female friends, and you can talk to him about anything. Plus there's that secret song-and-dance, jazz-hands side of Chris. I feel like he grew up with the Partridge Family. He'd be just as happy doing Guys and Dolls as he would Captain America 2."

East needs to do his business, so Evans and I take him up to the roof deck. Evans bought this apartment in 2010 when living in L.A. full-time no longer appealed to him. He came back to stay close to his extended family and the intimate circle of Boston pals he's maintained since high school. The move also seems like a pretty clear keep-it-real hedge against the manic ego-stroking distractions of Hollywood.

"I think my daytime person is different than my nighttime person," Evans says. "With my high-school buddies, we drink beer and talk sports and it's great. The kids in my Buddhism class in L.A., they're wildly intelligent, and I love being around them, but they're not talking about the Celtics. And that's part of me. It's a strange dichotomy. I don't mind being a certain way with some people and having this other piece of me that's just for me."

I asked Downey about Evans' outward regular-Joe persona. "It's complete horseshit," Downey says. "There's an inherent street-smart intelligence there. I don't think he tries to hide it. But he's much more evolved and much more culturally aware than he lets on."

Perhaps the meatball and the meditation can coexist. We argue about our egoic brains and the tao of Boston girls. "I love wet hair and sweatpants," he says in their defense. "I like sneakers and ponytails. I like girls who aren't so la-di-da. L.A. is so la-di-da. I like Boston girls who shit on me. Not literally. Girls who give me a hard time, bust my chops a little."

The chief buster of Evans' chops is, of course, Evans himself. "The problem is, the brain I'm using to dissect this world is a brain formed by it," he says. "We're born into confusion, and we get the blessing of letting go of it." Then he adds: "I think this shit by day. And then night comes and it's like, 'Fuck it, let's drink.'"

And so we do. It's getting late. Again. We should have eaten dinner, but Evans sometimes forgets to eat: "If I could just take a pill to make me full forever, I wouldn't think twice."

We talk about his dog and camping with his dog and why he loves being alone more than almost anything except maybe not being alone. "I swear to God, if you saw me when I am by myself in the woods, I'm a lunatic," he says. "I sing, I dance. I do crazy shit."

Evans' unflagging, all-encompassing enthusiasm is impressive, itself a kind of social intelligence. "If you want to have a good conversation with him, don't talk about the fact that he's famous" was the advice I got from Mark Kassen, who codirected Puncture. "He's a blast, a guy who can hang. For quite a long time. Many hours in a row."

I've stopped looking at the clock. We've stopped talking philosophy and moved into more emotional territory. He asks questions about my 9-month-old son, and then Captain America gets teary when I talk about the wonder of his birth. "I weep at everything," he says. "I emote. I love things so much—I just never want to dilute that."

He talks about how close he feels to his family, how open they all are with each other. About everything. All the time. "The first time I had sex," he says, "I raced home and was like, 'Mom, I just had sex! Where's the clit?'"

Wait, I ask—did she ever tell you?

"Still don't know where it is, man," he says, then breaks into a smile composed of equal parts shit-eating grin and inner peace. "I just don't know. Make some movies, you don't have to know…"

If someone doesn't want to check the link, the anon sent the full interview!

[montrealmadison]

t'étais réel parce qu'il t'aimait

or, “you were real because he loved you”

i work at a place that accepts children’s book donations, so when “the velveteen rabbit” came across my desk the other day, the beginnings of this popped into my head. then the lovely lau at @weneedtotalkaboutfic​ posted this and also this about ftm!bitty and my brain just took off! enjoy <3

“Has her fever gone down?”

Bitty blows out a long breath and twists around to look at the clock, on the off chance that it’ll give him a better answer than the truth—but all it tells him is that it’s 8:07, and he’s exhausted.

“No.” He pins the phone between his cheek and his shoulder so he can dry his hands. “Hasn’t budged all day.”

On the other end, his mama hums sympathetically. “It will, baby. Y’all are doin’ everything right.”

“Thanks,” he sighs, folding the dishtowel over the oven handle. “It’s just—I hate that she’s so uncomfortable.”

Bitty used to think that he’d made his peace with chaos. He’s moved schools, changed sports, reinvented himself half a hundred times. He’s come out on national television and transitioned publicly on the Internet. He’s written a book, is in the process of drafting another. He’s married to one of the most prominent NHL players in the league, for crying out loud.

But sick toddlers, Bitty is learning, are a whole other hockey game.

read more below or on ao3

Thankfully, at least the kitchen routine is muscle memory at this point: pots dried, dishwasher started, dog fed and watered for the night. The mess in here isn’t too bad, all things considered. He checks the lock on the back door and then lets himself sag against the counter, just a little. It’s been a day. A week, really. He's barely slept for the stress of it all.

“Dicky, honey, you sound like you need a break.” He can picture the frown on his mama’s face when she says it. Funny how her voice still feels like a hug from seven states away. “How’s Jack? Is he alright?”

“Mhm,” he says. “Upstairs puttin’ Ellie to bed, bless him.”

“Good. Well, listen, y’all call anytime if you need us, alright? Your daddy and I will be up, we’re goin’ to the Callahans’.”

“Ooh. Save the good gossip for me?”

“You know I will,” Mama promises with a laugh. “Now go on and sit down for me. I love you.”

“Yes, ma’am. Love you too,” Bitty says, almost absently, and flops onto the couch as the line clicks into silence.

He tries to relax—promise, he really does—but he only makes it about five minutes before the worry wins out and he has to get up again. He just can’t sit still today, especially when he hasn’t heard anything from upstairs in so long. He climbs the stairs and starts down the hall towards Giselle’s room, but pauses and peeks around the doorframe at the soft sound of Jack’s voice.

In the dim light, he can just make out Jack’s giant form carefully folded to fit into Ellie’s bed, one foot planted firmly on the floor to keep him balanced. Bitty presses a hand over his mouth, trying to resist the sudden urge to laugh at the sight of his husband trying to fit in a bed made for a toddler. Thankfully, it works, because neither Jack nor Giselle notice him—their daughter’s curled up next to her papa, tired and sleep-soft, with her flushed little face on Jack’s chest and her slow-blinking eyes fixed on the book in his hands.

The dog’s on the floor in here, too, tail thumping away against the carpet. He huffs, looks up at Bitty with big, understanding eyes as if to say: We got it in here.

Which is clearly the case—they’re already in the middle of a story. Jack is reading in soft, measured tones: “And when the Boy dropped off to sleep, the Rabbit would snuggle down close under his little warm chin and dream, with the Boy's hands clasped close round him all night long.”

It's the French translation, but Bitty feels himself melt almost immediately. He’d recognize The Velveteen Rabbit anywhere. It’d been his favorite as a baby, part of the reason his mama had come home one day with Señor Bun, and—well, the rest is Bittle family history. He leans in the doorway, closes his eyes and drifts while Jack reads.

He’s had a lot of time, now, to learn the differences between French Jack and English Jack, and why each language is important to him—especially where teaching his children is concerned. In French, his voice is softer, lilting, expressive in a way that transfixes Giselle and Bitty alike. Bitty himself has fallen asleep to the sound of that voice many times, and is mostly impressed that Ellie can still fight her own exhaustion just to listen a little longer.

Jack turns the page, and Bitty watches as his face and his voice soften with emotion at the next line: “And then, one day, the Boy was ill.”

Oh. Bitty remembers this part well, too—remembers the feeling of his own mama curled around him when he was sick as a kid. Remembers Coach’s shadow in the doorway, his quieter concern, his gentle hand on Bitty’s shoulder. Jack goes on: “But the Rabbit snuggled down patiently, and looked forward to the time when the Boy should be well again, and they would go out in the garden amongst the flowers and the butterflies and play splendid games in the raspberry thicket like they used to.”

Bitty remembers Señor Bun, equally patient, snuggled up under his chin, and has an idea. He backs quietly out of the room and retreats down the hall to their bedroom, where the bunny himself is propped on the pillows, waiting for them to come to bed. Bittly inhales the familiar scent of the fabric, looks into his bright embroidered eyes. He swears they look understanding somehow.

“You ready to work your magic, buddy?” he asks. “Let’s go.”

Jack does notice him this time, eyes crinkling in acknowledgment when he sees Bitty in the doorway. His voice is getting softer now, the words slowing in time with Giselle’s blinks, and Bitty crosses the room to lay Señor Bun in their daughter’s arms.

Neither of them move until they’re sure that Giselle is asleep at last; even then, Jack extracts himself from the bed as quietly as possible, smoothes the covers over her with a feather-light touch. When they meet in the hallway, Jack presses his face into Bitty’s neck. They stand there in the quiet, breathing together, for a long time.

“How is she?” Bitty finally asks.

“Hot,” Jack says, frowning. “I gave her another Tylenol.”

Bitty sighs deep, presses his forehead into Jack’s chest. “Mm, okay. Let’s hope she kicks this soon.”

“She will,” says Jack. “She’s our kid, that’s gotta count for something, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” Despite himself, Bitty finds that a smile comes easily enough. It always does with Jack’s reassurance. “Gotta be tough in this family.”

Jack laughs lightly. “Yeah.”

They retreat to their bedroom, turning off lights as they go. Their nighttime routine, too, is as comfortable as breathing now. When Bitty comes back from brushing his teeth, he finds Jack in bed, reading glasses on, still flipping through The Velveteen Rabbit.

“I’m glad you picked that one for her,” says Bitty slowly. “That was my favorite book as a kid.”

Jack turns it over in his hands, looks up at Bitty with warmth in his eyes. “This one?” he asks, smiling. “That explains Señor Bun, eh?”

“Yeah.” Bitty has to swallow around a sudden lump in his throat, and almost immediately finds himself blinking back hot tears. He bites his lip. “Well, and I, um—no, it’s stupid.”

“Bits?” says Jack, concerned. He closes the book and sits up. “Hey, no it’s not. Why else was it important?”

Bitty looks down. “I used to want to be Real,” he says, all in a rush. “Just like the Rabbit. Used to wish there’d be a fairy that would see how unhappy I was, and come and—oh, Lord—”

It’s like a switch flips in his brain; all of a sudden he’s crying in earnest, days of pent-up stress and fear rushing past the floodgates at once. Jack makes a soft sound and holds Bitty close, letting him cry it out, rocking him just a little. His hands are big and warm on Bitty’s back.

“Shh, bud, hey,” he says. “That’s not stupid at all.”

Bitty sniffles and scrubs at his eyes, lets out a burst of slightly hysterical laughter. “I—God. I don’t know what it is, I was looking at you and Ellie and—I don't know, I just wish the person I was when I first read it could see me now. I wish that little kid hadn’t had to go through all the shit I did to get here.”

Jack doesn’t say anything at first, just pulls back a little. Bitty looks up, confused—but Jack’s just reaching behind him to grab the book off his nightstand, flipping through it until he finds the page he wants. Then he puts an arm back around Bitty’s shoulders and pulls him close, kisses his temple.

“Generally,” he reads, in English this time, “by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

He fixes Bitty with those bottomless blue eyes. "I hope you'll let me keep telling you," he says slowly, "that it all meant something, bud. You made yourself real. You gave us our daughter."

Bitty laughs, watery. "I did."

"You did." Jack kisses him again, soft and full of meaning. "And I promise I'll never stop trying to understand."

[nanami-says]

Part V (2/3): chapters 58~60

Chapter 58

[About Sukuna’s fingers resonating with one another]

"The ones that possess an immense presence. The ones that are hiding. The ones that are already taken in by cursed spirits."

⇒ "1) The ones with too big presences. 2) The ones holding their breath. 3) The ones already absorbed by cursed spirits."

I added the numbers for explanation purposes, see below. 

"One of Sukuna's fingers was hidden by a cursed spirit. When Itadori consumed the finger in June, it released its cursed energy"

⇒ "The Sukuna fingers that had been absorbed were holding back their power [while] inside cursed spirits. Then they unleashed their cursed energy with Itadori's incarnation [of Sukuna] in June serving as a trigger."

Whelp. On top of extremely simplifying the explanation, they mixed up the kind of Sukuna finger involved here - it was very explicitly stated in the text that it was number 3) "absorbed" (assimilated) fingers, and not 2) "hiding" fingers. 

I guess saying that Itadori consumed the finger isn't wrong plot wise but it's actually referred to (here and many times more in the manga) as "incarnation"! The same word also gets used for the death painting brothers.

[Megumi remembering a conversation with Gojou] 

"I was surprised you asked me to train you"

⇒ "It's rare for you to ask me for a practice, Megumi"

"To train you" wasn't wrong but Gojou saying "it's rare" here points to it either happening occasionally or having happened in the past and I'm not sure "I was surprised" quite conveys that. 

"Are you feeling pressure because of Yuji's growth?"

⇒ "Did you get impatient after getting surpassed by Yuuji?"

Gojou actually says that Yuuji has surpassed Megumi here! Quite a different nuance from just "Yuji's growth".

"Megumi, your skill and potential are probably higher than Yuji's. All that’s left is the mental aspect"

⇒ “You know, Megumi, I think that both your real ability and potential are in no way inferior to Yuuji's. (...)"

Emphasis mine because pray tell, how does one reach the conclusion that "don't lose out to"/"aren't inferior to" equals to "are probably higher". “Skill” was fine btw but I’d probably go with “mindset” for the last line, personally.

[Gojou explaining why he thinks Megumi doesn’t know how to make a serious effort giving the baseball game as an example]

“Why did you bunt? You sacrificed yourself so that Nobara could advance. Well, good for you"

⇒ "Why did you make a sacrifice bunt? Did you want to advance Nobara to the next base even if it meant you'd be out yourself? That's commendable"

The nuance for the last line was just different - the word used there usually is just used as praise, either genuine or ironic but imo “good for you” has a different meaning. Also he says “out”  but it’s written as “death” (although that is sometimes the case in baseball as well.)

“But no matter how many allies you have around you, you'll always die alone"

⇒ “(...) when you die, you’re alone”

I tried to phrase it a bit closer to the original because I feel like the nuance may just be different for this line but can’t quite put a finger on the how.

[Gojou to Megumi]

"To die and then win, and dying victoriously are two completely different things, Megumi"

⇒ "To win by dying and to win even if you die are completely different, Megumi"

Emphasis by Gege. Ngl, I had no clue what the English was trying to say here… This is most likely what the line actually meant.

[Megumi regaining his consciousness after he blacked out from getting hit] 

 "How long was I out? Was my divine dog destroyed? No, my technique's finished"

Actually "my technique got undone". Putting it as "has finished" is imo both unclear and misleading. Similar situation as in ch. 1 (refer to part I).

[Lead-up to Megumi using a domain expansion for the first time]

"A jujutsu sorcerer's growth never comes easy"

⇒ "The growth curve of a sorcerer isn’t always gentle"

Mostly, the line was more intricate in the original but also the grammatical construction used here that they mistranslated as "never" actually means "not always [necessarily]” instead.

"Here we go!!"

Not really incorrect but it's kinda generic and I guess something like "I'm gonna do it!" is closer nuance wise. 

"With a firm base, skill and imagination, a person can change thanks to the slightest of events"

⇒ "A firm foundation, a handful of sense, and imagination. Then, [even] with a most insignificant opportunity, a person will change"

A pity they simplified "a handful of sense" into just "skill" here. Overall not really incorrect but I wanted to propose something that imo better conveys the original wording and vibe.

“Area expansion”

…”area”? What? Obviously this is actually “domain expansion”. I just don’t have words.

“Think bigger! My technique’s interpretation!”

First sentence actually referred to the second one, so it’s actually something like “Expand it!! The technique’s interpretation!!”

[Megumi to the cursed spirit after his shikigami deals it a finishing blow]

"Divine dog's claws even hurt it...You were no match!"

"(...) So something like piercing through you when you're not even paying attention was easy"

Less excitement, more dismissiveness, I’d say? Also, for the divine dog it’s actually specified that it’s “divine dog (totality)” and not just simply “divine dog”. The term appeared before in ch. 47.

Chapter 59

[Megumi talking about what he considers the basic rule for human interactions in a flashback to his middle school years]

"Basically, you shouldn't cross any line that violates another person's dignity. You should acknowledge each other's mutual existence. That's the rule. You ignored it and fed your stupid ego"

⇒ "In short, it's drawing a line in order not to jeopardise one another's dignity; [it’s] a process through which both parties can coexist. That's what the "rule" is”. You broke it, throwing your weight around and forcing everyone to walk on eggshells around you”

For the first sentence, Megumi says “it’s drawing a line”, so the nuance here was probably closer to “creating boundaries” rather than “crossing boundaries” like in the official English release. For the second sentence, the original literally says “the process through which one another’s existence is achieved”, so rather than acknowledging each other’s existence the sentiment is probably closer to live and let live? For the last sentence, they once again simplified it to the barest bones.

"I'll definitely tell Ikezawa and everyone today that we're not their lapdogs"

“You got this, Aida!”

"But we might be the next punching bags, so don't go overboard!"

Should be “Ikezawa and others'' and definitely “that I’m not their errand boy” for the smallest boy’s first line. If all of them were already being treated as errand boys like the way using the plural form here implies, the other student’s reply wouldn’t make sense.

[After Tsumiki sees Megumi has beaten up delinquents once again]

“You said you wouldn’t pick fights anymore”

“You’re not my mom”

⇒ (...) “Don’t act like you’re my guardian”

Imo the distinction is significant because there’s a possibility that Tsumiki as the older of the two probably did feel responsible for Megumi to an extent and acted accordingly, as if she was his guardian. 

Also, he doesn’t actually say “mom” - this is not the first time where the official English release opts for a gendered phrase where the original uses a neutral form. (Like making Yuuji say his grandpa was like a dad to him when he actually said parent all the way back in ch. 2.) 

[Megumi’s thoughts from back in the middle school]

"I hate bad guys with no brains and zero emotional capability. Walking around feeling proud. Disgusting."

⇒ "I hate bad people. The way they act like they’re superior, with their complete lack of imagination or sensitivity. Disgusting”

I guess I really dislike the way they worded it here, especially the “no brains” part since Megumi wasn’t really talking about intellect or smarts here but about imagination (and sensitivity), which he literally describes as being akin to "vacant lot", "empty lot", "raw land”, which is much more evocative.

"I hate goody-goodies forgiving bad people, justifying mercy. Makes me wanna puke"

⇒ "I hate good people. The way they forgive such bad people and perceive that act of forgiveness as something noble. They make me sick"

Mhm, way to just simplify the heck out of the whole line. I’m extra bothered by their use of “goody-goodies” here since this is yet another appearance of a rather formal word for “good person” (善人/zennin) in the original and which I’ve observed to be a very important part of the world-building in jjk. I discuss it at length in various previous installments, with notable examples including: ch. 9 (Megumi about Yuuji and about the kind of people he wants to save - part I), ch. 31 (Nanami and Yuuji’s conversation in the aftermath of the Junpei incident - part III 2/2), ch. 36 (Panda about Yuuji - part IV 2/5).

“Tsumiki, you’re a perfect example of a good person.”

See, the word he uses here to describe Tsumiki is the same as in the line above (善人) but because back then it got translated as “goody-goodies”, you’d never guess it since the vibes are just that different.

[Megumi reminiscing about meeting Gojou for the first time]

"In the first grade, my dad and Tsumiki's mom got married and separated just as quickly"

⇒ "When I was in the first grade of elementary school my father and Tsumiki’s mother, our respective single parents, got together and disappeared into thin air"

The original doesn’t mention marriage OR separation. Heck, especially for the second one, it doesn’t even come close to mentioning it?? I have no clue where they got this from. 

What I put as “got together” can also be translated as “to have a liaison with (a man or a woman)” (among others). Since Tsumiki’s surname is also “Fushiguro” in middle school, it’s possible that they were actually married and many Japanese fans seem to think that as well but it’s not explicitly stated, at least not here, so those are most likely speculations. 

As for mysterious “separation”, the word used here actually means "disappearance (of people intentionally concealing their whereabouts); unexplained disappearance", so imo the whole section means their parents got together and at some point both disappeared. As we learn at one point in the manga Touji first and Tsumiki’s mum sometime later. 

(Btw, one fan scanlation used “evaporation” here instead and while this is another possible translation of the word in question, imo from the context it’s clear that the intended meaning was the “unexplained disappearance” instead.)

Lastly, Megumi uses kind of formal expressions when referring to both his own dad and Tsumiki’s mum, which imo is indicative of the emotional distance.

[Tiny Megumi about teenager Gojou]

"A weirdo with white hair said"

⇒ "A suspicious man with white hair"

Needless to say, he doesn't actually call Gojou a weirdo.

[Gojou about Touji] 

"But he's a loser that just works for me. He left the family and had you."

⇒ "He's enough of a good-for-nothing to take aback even me. Basically, he left home and then had you."

Emphasis mine. Again, I literally have no clue where they got the translation they went with for this. “Works for me” - just what?? (Btw, one of the fan scans available for this had the latter part of this line mistakenly imply that Gojou had Megumi leave his house. The bit definitely referred to Touji leaving the Zen’in family.)

"You're something your dad used against the Zen'in family. His trump card"

⇒ “You’re something your father kept as his strongest card against the Zen’in family”

A bit of a different nuance than “your dad used” suggests.

"The divorce money makes sense now. I was sold to this Zen'in family"

⇒ "The mystery behind the funds for their disappearance got solved. Apparently, I was sold to this Zen’in family or something"

Again, the word for “divorce” doesn’t make an appearance ANYWHERE in this chapter, least of all this page. ...How. 

Once again - fan scans had this as money that also evaporated but neither it nor the official English release make sense, considering the line is followed up by “I was sold” as the explanation. So yeah, imo the first sentence definitely referred to the money Megumi considered necessary for Touji (and co’s) disappearance.

[Gojou referring to Touji basically selling Megumi off]

"Sucks, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it's annoying. Especially your attitude."

⇒ “It pisses you off, doesn’t it”

“Yeah, it does piss me off. Especially that lack of delicacy of yours”

I mentioned it multiple times but imo repetition in the original text tends to be done on purpose and as a device and imo this was another example where this was the case. Megumi borrows Gojou’s words here. (Which mean “to be irritated, “to be angry” and not “it sucks”.)

[Megumi continuing about Gojou]

"But that annoying guy wrote off the situation with the Zen'in family. He made a promise that we would work as sorcerers in the future. We would be collateral and receive financial support from Jujutsu High in exchange."

⇒"This man pisses me off, but it was him who cancelled the deal with the Zen'in family, and made it so we would receive financial support from the technical college with me working as a sorcerer in the future [serving] as collateral for it”

I don’t know why they’d translate it as “we would work” here since who the “we” would be supposed to even entail other than Megumi himself? Surely not Tsumiki. Or Gojou. Also, putting the next bit as “we would be collateral” makes it sound kind of dehumanising to me, ngl, whereas Megumi was talking about his labour here.

Also, the same phrase for “pisses off” as above got used once again, which makes it three times in a row, so imo that was definitely a deliberate stylistic choice on Gege’s part.

“Jujutsu sorcerers. How stupid.

⇒ "Sorcerers, what even. How nonsensical"

Just proposing an alternate wording.

[Megumi about the curse Tsumiki got hit by]

"All we knew was that we didn't know anything. Tsumiki still sleeps."

The word used to describe Tsumiki’s state literally means “became bedridden”, which imo heavily implies she fell into a coma. “Still sleeps” is most likely a misunderstanding on the translator’s part since the word sounds like it’d mean that (but it doesn’t.)

[Megumi about Tsumiki]

"Always smiling and saying nice things"

⇒ “Always smiling and spouting lip service”

Another case where the translator seems to have translated the word based on the way it’s written as opposed to checking the actual meaning. (The “nice things” phrase.)

"It's not a bad thing to not forgive people. Megumi, that's your way of showing kindness."

⇒ “Not being able to forgive people isn’t a bad thing. That’s your kindness, Megumi”

It wasn’t just “not to forgive” but “not being able to forgive”! Which imo would imply the next line’s nuance was something similar to Tsumiki considering Megumi’s inability to forgive people to be something that stems from his kindness (e.g. because he can’t stand seeing injustice).

"Even spinning my short-comings in a positive light."

⇒ “She would affirm even my nature"

Imo this line was more of Tsumiki accepting Megumi as he is or at least that’s what the line says - makes sense with what I proposed for the line above too. Translating it the way they did in the official release kind of feels like overinterpreting.

"But even she would get upset when I hurt somebody. I was annoyed by the hypocrisy"

⇒ "But even such Tsumiki would get genuinely angry (...). I would get annoyed thinking she was a stickler to the rules and a hypocrite"

Emphasis mine. The phrase that the translators seem to have skipped here and I translated as "stickler to the rules" literally means "to play it safe", "to avoid trouble at all cost". 

"Yeah, I know. I was immature. I'm sorry so please wake up already"

“I’m sorry, I was a brat. I’ll apologise so just wake up already, stupid older sister”

Just a different nuance and tone for the whole line.

"All I did was get rid of the Yasohachi bridge curse. My sister's sleeping curse is a separate matter."

⇒ "This Yasohachi bridge curse was probably only overlapping with it, and the curse that caused Tsumiki to fall into a coma probably hasn't been lifted"

The official English release makes it sound like sleeping (or more correctly, the coma) was the nature of the curse that Tsumiki was put under, whereas imo the original indicates it just as its effect, which is an important distinction.

“As for the finger and Itadori…”

⇒ “What should I tell Itadori about the finger...”

The “tell”, “say” is only implied here but it’s pretty clear from the context that was the meaning. Also, he explicitly says “to Itadori” here.

[After the Yasohachi bridge curse got defeated by Megumi who then retrieved the Sukuna finger from it] 

"All of sudden I feel a presence. Did the finger get out of the barrier? Whoever took out the finger bearer is quite formidable."

⇒ “The huge presence that appeared all of sudden... Did Sukuna's finger get out of the barrier? If it was a sorcerer that exorcised the finger's host, they must be quite good......."

Emphasis mine on bits that got cut out in the official release. Because Esou was facing off Nobara, he probably assumed it’s likely there may be other sorcerers present and imo that’s what this line also suggests.

"Even so... The finger... Even if they fought against a special-grade and won, They more than likely didn't come out of it unscathed. I hope they're okay."

Just to clarify that the word used for “they” in the original indicates the speaker knows the people in question, so those were Nobara’s thoughts here.

 Chapter 60

[Esou to Yuuji and Nobara after he activates his wing king technique]

“Start running and turn your backs to me”

“Run. With your backs turned to me” would fit better nuance and mood wise. (Esou didn’t want to show his back to anyone so now he’s’ forcing them to show theirs.)

[Nobara to Yuuji after he scooped her up because she couldn’t run as fast as he could]

“I got your back”

“Okay”

“Okay” isn’t incorrect per se but the word has the nuance of “I’m counting on you”.

[Nobara to Yuuji after he speeded through the forest while carrying her, allowing them to escape from Esou's technique]

"Well done, you deserve some praise"

“Yeah, yeah”

“Just kidding. Thanks!”

⇒ "You have my praise." (...)

Actually a set phrase! Spoken from a rather elevated/superior POV, which is why Nobara later reiterates that she’s genuinely thankful. Also, I probably would just go with a period for “Thanks”, imo nuance wise it didn’t require an exclamation mark and it’s not there in the original either.

[Esou after Yuuji gets splashed with Kechizu’s blood]

"There's no need to worry. My younger brother's blood isn't the same quality as mine"

Actually "doesn't have the same properties like mine”.

"You wouldn't even die from mine unless you were drowned in it."

Much closer to something like "unless you were to bathe your whole body in it".

"But it does hurt like hell"

⇒ "But it does hurt to death"

Not really wrong meaning wise but in the original it was “to death” instead of “like hell”, which combined with a previous line was probably a wordplay. "You won't die but it does hurt to death"

[Esou explaining how his and Kechizu’s shared technique works]

"If you take in one of our brother's blood and if one brother activates a technique"

Idk if it's clear here but it most likely doesn't matter which brother does which (could even be the same one). Also, definitely should’ve been “the” or “this” for technique, since Esou has just stated on the same page he’s now going to start laying out how a specific technique of he and his brother’s functions.  

[Esou replying to Yuuji]

"Yes, the result is essentially poison. Our technique is 'decomposition'"

Should be “but what our technique is, is actually ‘decomposition’” nuance wise.

"It's activated now. In reality they'll be dead faster than that”

⇒ “Done with technique disclosure, so in reality (...)”

Emphasis mine. You know, the rule in jujutsu where if you explain your technique to your opponent, it gets a buff? “Activation” is just wrong here. 

While it’s not phrased as such, the phenomenon is first explained in ch. 20 during Nanami’s explanation to Yuuji (refer to part II 2/2). It also gets mentioned by name later in the manga but oftentimes the official release would either skip it or word it completely differently so it’s hard to tell, like in ch. 51, when Hanami realises Toudou has lied to him (part IV 5/5). 

[The history of how cursed wombs came to be]

"[In the beginning of the Meiji era] there was a girl with special genetic makeup who bore a cursed-spirit child"

Actually “with an idiosyncrasy that allowed her to get pregnant with the child of a cursed spirit”! Imo an important distinction since it’s not certain whether her first child that gets discussed here was born prematurely or not and the following pregnancies were all aborted.

"A child born of mixed blood - both cursed spirit and human.”

Skipped “grotesque child” at the end.

“It was a mysterious pregnancy. She would be ostracized by family and friends.”

⇒ "Starting from a pregnancy she had no recollection of, [followed by] the oppression from her kith and kin, it made her go insane"

This latter part of this section is filled to the brim with complicated language so I’m not entirely sure but I think this might’ve been the intended meaning of the line. The official translators were probably struggling with the vocabulary too, so they cut out some stuff entirely, to be precise - the go insane part. It’s the bit I’m not certain about myself but I scoured Japanese dictionaries and that’s the meaning that seemed to be the best fit among the options.  

Anyway, to reiterate - the bit about the pregnancy actually says that the girl herself didn’t even know (couldn’t remember) how it came to be. The part about the relatives doesn’t mention friends, it’s actually a set phrase that means “one's relatives by blood and marriage (in blood and law); one's kith and kin” - I went here with the latter since it’s shorter and fits the overall vibe of the line.

“She would hold the corpse of the child and flee to a temple in the mountains. The temple was run by jujutsu sorcerers. However, her luck had run out."

⇒ “(...) However, this was when her luck run out”

Other than the nuance in the last line, this isn’t mistranslated but the whole section just flowed differently in the original and felt less disjointed.

Also! One of the scanlations I’ve seen had it misspelled as “Noshitori” but the evil sorcerer’s name is actually “Kamo Noritoshi” (and yes, it’s the same as the young Kamo but the “toshi” is written with different characters).

"The child born from a cursed spirit and human would become a prisoner of intellectual curiosity"

⇒ "His [Kamo Noritoshi's] intellectual curiosity would be taken captive by children born between a cursed spirit and a human"

Very much the other way around. It's very clear in the original that the subject of the sentence was Kamo's intellectual curiosity and not the child.

"Death painting wombs: numbers 1-3. Cursed objects worthy of special grade."

Closer to "cursed objects powerful enough to be classified as special grade"

"Did cursed energy originate from a mother's hatred? No..."

It's specified here as "did their cursed energy" instead (emphasis mine), and the question is actually left unanswered......................................................... So yeah, congrats on getting rid of this very intended ambiguity. It's something like "or was it maybe--"

[About cursed wombs]

"For 150 years, with only the notion of one another's existence, they would survive, sealed away"

⇒ "For 150 years, they endured the seal, relying only on one another's existence"

"The notion" just doesn't capture the sentiment of the line at all, which imo is most likely the follow-up to the narrator's musings about the origin of the death painting's immense cursed energy. (See above.)

"We're siding with that cursed spirit."

Actually "siding with them", read as "them" but written as "the cursed spirits" - probably plural as the original literally says "the side of the cursed spirits", so it possibly means cursed spirits as a whole as well, aside of Mahito and co specifically. Remember, the brothers are actually half-humans too. I explain in depth the “written as but read as” device in part IV 4/5 (ch. 48, Toudou’s “my friend” phenomenon).

"The future that the cursed spirits have painted is more suited for us. But that's it. Forget about what we owe for our freedom"

Not incorrect per se but Chousou actually says “forget the debt we owe them of our incarnation”, which would make it yet another instance where the official English release has cut out the term entirely. (Emphasis mine.)

[Nobara after stating that a technique that assures a win as long as it hits an opponent is indeed powerful]

"I'm a bad match for you!!"

Actually “the worst match [possible]” - more confidence in the line! 

[Nobara to the death painting brothers after using Resonance on herself thus redirecting their attack back at them]

"Let's play a game of chicken, shall we?"

The actual wording is “contest of endurance”, I’m not entirely sure if the two have the same connotation.

[part v (3/3)]

[earlgreytea68]

Tagged by @setting-in-a-honeymoon​!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

An even 200!

2. What’s your total AO3 wordcount?

Um. 3,328,002

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Six:

Inception in the lead with 67 fics

Sherlock with 56

Fall Out Boy with 36

Doctor Who with 14 (this number is incorrect, I have written waaaaay more than that, they just live on LJ and DW)

and then one each for Sports Night and The Office (UK)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Nature and Nurture

Saving Sherlock Holmes

Working on the Edges

The Radovljica Apicultural Museum

John Watson’s Twelve Days of Christmas

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! Sometimes I get busy or depressed or sick, etc., and I fall behind, but I try to respond, for a number of reasons - they give me so much joy that I want to acknowledge that they have brought my joy; it is so wonderful to see what people to respond to and love and laugh at and cry over, it definitely makes me a better writer, and so I want to acknowledge that, too; and comments when I’m in the middle of posting a fic are especially helpful to me because they often result in me tweaking what’s coming next in response to questions I see people have that indicate I’m not being clear enough, or maybe I’m not hitting the tone I want, etc. And so I like to respond to be like, “Thank you! You have no idea how important and wonderful this is to me!”

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, wow. While I actually think I can write good angst, when I do it I try to have it in the middle of the fic, so that it gets properly resolved to give you a nice, happy ending. I’m sure someone’s going to be like, YOU ARE FORGETTING THIS HEART-WRENCHING THING YOU WROTE, but all I’m coming up with right now is that, in my long Doctor Who ‘verse I wrote, I did a fic in which their family dog died. That was pretty angsty. (omg I just scrolled down to see how I ended this story and OH MY GOD ahahah I forgot that I wrote this after I’d broken up with the Tenth Doctor and so it ends with Brem being like, “Plus, my father is useless so I have to hold the entire family together all the time” hahahaha what an extra-angsty ending, Brem, my love lol)

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do sometimes! I feel like most of my crossovers make some amount of sense. Like, okay, maybe you wouldn’t think to cross Inception with Fall Out Boy (this was a special request) but I think the premise of the fic makes total sense. And I once crossed Oliver with Brem, but those were my first two beloved precocious fic songs, so that made some sense, too. And I still think Inception and Sherlock crossed together made SO much more sense than actual seasons of Sherlock lol. So I guess if I had to choose the craziest I would go with the Doctor Who/Gossip Girl crossover I wrote lol. But wait, that one actually also made sense as I wrote it, I think, so I’ll go with the Sherlock/Fall Out Boy crossover because that was just bonkers.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes. I wrote a fic that was really horrible to Mary in “Sherlock.” I hate Mary. I feel like I can say that now. I haaaaaated Mary. But in those days “Sherlock” was an incredibly tense fandom to be part of and if you didn’t say that you loved Mary all the time forever and always then people were like !7@((!*(@(!& at you. I have a million massive warnings in all caps all over the fic, like, DON’T READ THIS IF YOU LIKE MARY, and people still would leave rude comments on it lololol. And then we wonder why I left that fandom lol. (I mean, many people in the fandom were wonderful, and I don’t always have REASONS why I leave fandoms, it’s not like anything is that logical or rational. But it wasn’t a very fun time to be in Sherlock fandom. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I do. My smut almost always has to be advancing some kind of emotional beat in the characters’ relationship. I’m never super-explicit because usually the whole point of the scene to me is what the characters are thinking and feeling, not really what they’re *doing.*

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Sometimes my fics show up somewhere without my knowledge. People are really good about letting me know when that happens.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yup!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes!

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

This is like asking who my all-time favorite child is.

14. What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have this high school Peterick AU that I started at the beginning of the pandemic. For some reason, when schools shut down, all I could think about was all these bands that wouldn’t get formed because the kids couldn’t go to each other’s houses, like Pete Wentz couldn’t just show up at Patrick Stump’s to hear him play. So I started this story where Pete and Patrick meet right before the pandemic hits, and then everything locks down and they’re stuck Facetiming each other and coming to the realization that their soulmate is on the other side of the screen.

Anyway, I actually think this fic is super-hot?? And I never think I write hot things, but it’s got a hot phone sex scene and I’m really happy with it and I would love to finish the story...except that the pandemic turned out to be...this. And in my head, Idk, I thought there’d be this triumphant moment where everyone would be like, “Yay! We can see each other now!” and Pete and Patrick would reunite, and instead everything petered out into, “Can we see each other now........????? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “ and I didn’t know what to do with that in my fic, it made it not as neat as I was wanting it to be.

But I hate to lose that hot phone sex scene hahaha. And also after the hot phone sex scene Patrick adds “Hotline Bling” to his and Pete’s shared Spotify playlist they’ve been working on and I’M SORRY, I FOUND THAT SO CHARMING, PATRICK STOLE MY HEART WITH THAT MOVE, anyway, as you can see, I love so much about the fic and I really want to find a way to make it work and maybe someday I will the end.

15. What are your writing strengths?

My dialogue.

Also I think I write the same story over and over (person realizes that they’re deserving of being loved for exactly who they are), but I think I’m REALLY GOOD at that one story lol

Also I like to think that I write family relationship stuff fairly well, like, Idk, I love doing that stuff, whether found family or biological.

Oh, and I think I usually get the ratio of angst::happy ending pretty good (in my view for my personal preference lol).

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

I don’t think I’m especially good at smut. I’m terrible at paying attention to things like setting, what the characters are wearing, what the characters even look like, etc. As mentioned above, I tell the same story over and over and over, and I’m okay with that, but yeah, I’d be bad at telling a story where people aren’t, like, nice people who you’re rooting for.

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I think I couldn’t do it, because I don’t speak any other language, but I’m always happy when people translate my fics!

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Doctor Who. Although maybe, like, New Kids on the Block self-insert stuff counts from junior high??? But Doctor Who was first published.

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Please see above re: favorite child lol

I tag every writer who wants to do this and I hope every writer does this because I always think these are fascinating!!

[mochiiwrites]

🍁✨Autumn Troupe Headcanons!✨🍁

Hooray for more uncensored swearing! Sorry, this took so long! It’s hard to think of things for the Autumn Troupe since I don’t know them super well!

🍁🧡Banri Settsu🧡🍁

Whenever it's time for practice, Banri begins by smacking the back of Juza's head! (Not super hard, but enough for it to piss him off)

Diluc main, that is all. Before he got Diluc he was an Amber main, and somehow was good. Still uses her every once in a while!

Slightly intimidated by languages sometimes, I dunno how to explain it, so hopefully the dialogue does!

“Banri, come here for a second.”

“Hell no, I’m in the middle of a match right now.”

“Banri.”

“Sit your ass down and wait, Chikage! I’m busy!”

"Halika dito! Huwag kang humintay na papatayin kita at iwanan kitang dumugo sa lansangan! Inumin ng mga aso ang iyong dugo at kukunin ng mga uwak ang iyong laman. Gusto mo yan?!" ("Come here! Don't wait for me to kill you and leave you bleeding in the street! Dogs will drink your blood and crows will take your flesh. Do you want that ?!" ) I'm unsure of the translation, since the filipino was from Irumaaaaa_saaaaamaaaaa's comment on my Ao3! I just put it into google translate

“Damn! Fine, fine, I’m comin! Chill out!”

His older sister gave him a leopard plushie when he was a kid, which is why he’s fucking obsessed with animal prints!

Plays drums and almost broke the coffee table because he “jammed too hard” on it!

Constantly messing up Taichi’s hair, or he’s drumming to songs on his head.

*boom boom bap boom boom bap*

“Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise, playing in the street, gonna be a big man someday! You got mud on your face, you big disgrace! Kicking your can all over the place, singin'-”

“We will, we will rock you!”

“Haha! Hell yeah!”

🍁💜Juza Hyodo💜🍁

Likes carrying Muku or Kumon on his shoulders! Sometimes they still parade around!

“Are you sure about this, Ju-chan?”

“Yeah, you’re real light, y’know.”

“What the hell are you doing, Hyodo? Practice is soon.”

Chews on things a lot when he’s nervous! He always has gum or a lollipop to avoid chewing on his shirt, his nails and other inedible things!

Uses shorter Mankai members as an armrest, but only the ones who are okay with it! He’s polite like that.

On nights where he just can’t sleep, he’ll go on walks or drive around on his motorcycle!

Terrible with eye contact and looking like he’s paying attention. Sakyo has to snap his fingers at him to make sure he’s listening!

Y’know the awkward sibling hug from Gravity Falls, he and Kumon have done that...a lot. It’s not actually awkward though, they just liked the show!

“Awkward sibling hug?”

“...Awkward sibling hug.”

*embrace*

“...pat, pat.”

....

“Hyodos, what the hell?”

🍁💖Taichi Nanao💖🍁

Cried twice when he got his piercings, the first time was because he was very, very afraid, the second time was because he was so happy that he looked good with them!

Has Heelys! One time, he tried to 'heely' into the rehearsal room, but he immediately fell over!

Plays the ukulele! He wanted to play guitar because he saw someone serenading their partner with it at school! He borrowed Masumi's guitar but bar chords suck and his hands are kinda small, so he settled for the uke!

"Aghhh! How do you play that! That hurts my fingies!"

"I have bigger hands and more experience."

"But you're only like an inch taller than me!"

"Height doesn’t really have anything to do with this."

Has a Tiktok! He doesn't post often, it's more for looking at memes or sick outfits. (He does the dances though! He's pretty good at them but they're all in his drafts since he's not super confident in them!)

Y’know how kids crawl up the stairs really fast. He does that. Constantly. Kazunari joins in, sometimes. It pisses Sakyo off a lot, but he gave up on trying to get them to stop.

"Taicchan, what are you doing?"

"Kazu-kun! I got the zoomies!"

"Nice! Can I join ya?"

"For sure!"

*Rapid thumping up the stairs*

"Aren't you gonna stop them, Sakyo?"

"...If I had that ability, they would've stopped a long time ago. Those idiots don't listen."

He LOVES Sk8 The Infinity! Langa's his favourite character! He's also probably a Reki kinnie!

🍁💙Omi Fushimi💙🍁

(It's blue like his regular shirt and Tumblr doesn't have any other colours ;-;)

Despite being tone-deaf, he hums a lot when he cooks! No one seems to mind it!

Enjoys scrapbooking! He kind of prefers scrapbooks to albums, since scrapbooks have a more homemade vibe, you know?

Gives the best hugs, and tends to hold hands with the younger members when they cross the street!

Regularly has this conversation!

“Banri, have you eaten?”

“I dunno Omi, have YOU eaten?”

“...I have. But that's not what I’m concerned about.”

“...I had a granola bar like, an hour ago.”

“...I’m making you something.”

When he first joined the company, he took notes on what everyone liked and didn't like to eat, plus if they had allergies! He still has it, he just doesn't need to use it anymore!

I feel like something like this has happened once!

“Ah, Omi! Can you help me grab something?”

“Oh, sure. What do you need, Sakuya?”

“Homare asked me to get some of that tea, but I can’t rea-”

*lifts Sakuya like Simba*

“Ah! Omi, haha! What are you doing?”

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it! Do you want me to stop?”

“Oh, no, it’s fine! It’s kinda fun actually.”

🍁💛Sakyo Furuichi💛🍁

Absolutely blind without his glasses, like it’s really bad. He walked into a doorframe without his glasses. Thankfully, no one noticed (he thinks).

He has a bit of bubble-wrap in his a pocket all the time and sometimes he uses it as a threat! (Hopefully that made sense...)

“Settsu, move over.”

“I literally can’t! Your fat ass is taking too much space!”

*pop*

“Just scoot your lazy ass over.”

*pop*

“I can’t I already-”

*pop*

“...Alright, I get it! I’ll shut up! Jeez, how is that so threatening...”

“...Asshole.”

*pop*

“...Sorry.”

Definitely told Azami that Santa wasn’t real when he was like 6.

Sakoda got him a mug that said #1 Dad but he crossed it out and replaced ‘Dad’ with ‘Aniki’! Sakyo still drinks out of it, sometimes!

Azami also made him a friendship bracelet when he was a lot younger. Sakyo doesn’t wear it (because it doesn’t fit him anymore) but he still has it! He likes rubbing the beads between his fingers.

Good at trivia! Like, really good. He somewhat enjoys Trivia Murder Party. (I just watched a play through and skipped to a random question, I have no idea if it’s actually hard lol.)

“Which body of water connects the Mediterranean Sea to the Atlantic Ocean?”

“Wh- How are we supposed to know that?!”

*Sakyo answers ‘The Strait of Gibraltar’ and is the only one who answers correctly*

“Fuck, my thumb slipped.”

“That shouldn’t be allowed. Sakyo’s shitty and old, he shouldn’t be able to know and remember things.”

“Oi, brat. I’m not that old. You’re not the one who got the answer right.”

“You’re not the one who literally never learned this!”

🍁❤️Azami Izumida❤️🍁

Has smacked too many cans/cups out of Itaru and Tsuzuru’s hands!

“Wh-”

“Drink actual water. And jeez, go take a nap or something. Your skin is even worse than I thought it could get. Aren’t you supposed to be the responsible one in the Spring Troupe?”

“Ah... I guess, you are right. Thanks for looking out for me.”

“W-well! W-we can’t have you on stage looking like a raisin! S-so!”

Often criticizes Izumi’s eyeliner and ends up just doing it for her. N-not that he minds or anything!

Played Love Nikki at some point, I do not take that much criticism.

Because I think the troupe/play themes are canon, he definitely helped with Shake the Shape and wrote some of RESPAWN!

Always has extra hair ties on him, even though most of the others don’t really need them. Most of the time, the hair ties end up being used for...other purposes.

“Ready.”

“What?”

“Aim.”

“Azami, I swear to whatever god is listening, if you fire that elasti-”

“Fire.”

“...You shitty brat-”

“Oh shi-”

Part of the ‘wears nail polish’ squad! He hates stickers. (Most of the time they somehow fall off) His go-to is an alternating pattern of black and red.

[yesttoheaven]

I SEE YOU – chapter IV

pairing – arthur fleck x female!reader

wc – 2.3k

warnings – idk... misty being a b*tch with arthur?

a/n – hi everyone! I hope you are well because I'm brazilian and I cannot say the same lol the president is a piece of shit and he can't rule the country in the middle of a pandemic (not even without the pandemic, in fact)

anyway enjoy the chapter!

English is not my first language. I am getting help from google translator and he is not always a good ally, so I apologize for any typos or grammar errors.

Y/N – your name

chapter one. chapter two.

chapter three. chapter four.

"What are you doing here, Misty?" The surprise was notable in Y/N's words.

Many people could walk through that door, but Misty was definitely not one of them.

"I should ask you the same question..." The woman came over and put her hands on the actress' shoulders, smiling amiably. "But we don't have time for that right now. You have a dinner to go! And it is not right to keep a man like Charles waiting."

"Charles?" Arthur asked, trying to find a way to join the conversation. "Is he also an actor?"

After these simple words, the redhead burst out laughing and Arthur didn't understand what he had done wrong this time. He was just curious and a little interested to know who was the man who had a date with Y/N that night.

"Actor? God, have you never heard of Charles Lewis Tiffany?" Misty questioned how if the fact that Arthur didn’t know the man was an offense to humanity and Arthur just shook his head, too embarrassed to say anything else.

Who the hell was this man? The Pope? And why did Y/N have a dinner with Pope?

"It's okay, Arthur." Always so graceful, the actress reassured him and left Misty's side to be close to him. "Charles owns Tiffany & Co., the one that appears in the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's... Have you watched this movie before?"

"Oh, oftentimes!"

"Me either! And now Charles wants me to be the face of his new collection! I'm so excited, he came to Gotham just to follow it up in person!" The happiness shining in her eyes was contagious, but Misty didn’t like seeing Y/N squeeze the man’s arm gently.

"I hate to have to do this... the conversation is so pleasant, but we have to go, mon cher." With a smile, Y/N's manager adjusted the bag on her shoulder. She wanted to take the actress away from this freak as soon as possible.

"You cannot go without the VHS tape." Arthur objected, receiving a death glare from Misty, but the only thing that mattered to him was Y/N. "I'll get this for you." After these words, the man left the living room with a reason to make her stay a little longer in his apartment.

"Well, I think we're going to have to wait." Y/N shrugged, but inside she was beaming.

Feeling her mouth dry, she picked up the glass of water on the table, but that was her worst mistake.

"What are you doing? Don't drink this! That dirty glass is full of germs!" The glass was snatched from her hand and Y/N looked at Misty in disbelief.

"That glass is not dirty, Misty."

"How can you be sure of that? I heard that the Narrows sewer is one of the worst in Gotham!"

"Thanks for the lesson, but that didn’t come from the Narrows sewer. This water is from the kitchen tap."

"Oh my God..." The actress could have sworn that the woman's face turned green and she would vomit at any moment. "Why did you drink this? You'll be sick!"

Before Y/N had a chance to respond to these insanities, someone called her. She ran over to the bag and took out her cell phone. It was Charles.

"Hey, Charles! It's good to talk to you." On the other side, all she received were strange noises. The man's voice was being cut off and it was difficult to understand. "The connection is awful..."

"Why am I not surprised? Narrows is the end of the world!" Misty commented, rolling her eyes.

Without time for this discussion, Y/N said:

"Maybe in the corridor I will get a better signal."

"Be careful, you don't know what kind of neighbors there are in this place." She warned, listening to the door open and close, but Y/N said nothing.

Alone in the living room, Misty had the same disgusted look as when she arrived. For her this apartment is small even for an ant and this wallpaper is ridiculous, but in the midst of so much poverty, something on the couch attracted her attention.

"What do we have right here? I don't believe he has a diary..." The woman whispers to herself, laughing, after picking up Arthur's journal. She knew it was wrong, but she was bored.

The first few pages were OK, he had a shitty life like any other unfortunate person, but what came next scared the hell out of her. Misty knew there was something wrong with this man. The instant she saw him, she knew, but that... those words... were from a sick person. Arthur was a disgusting pervert. The redhead needed a moment to breathe and then she saw the magazines on the table and an scissors...

Oh no. He intends to include Y/N in this depravity show!

"I finally found." With bright eyes, Arthur looked for Y/N in the living room, but all he found was Misty... and his journal. "W-What... What are you d-doing?"

"Stay away from me!" She exclaimed, backing away for fear that he would do something against her. "I swear, if you get close I'll scream so loud and when Y/N comes through that door, I will tell her your little secret. She will be so disappointed, but she will finally find out who you really are... A perv!"

"N-No, please... You got it wrong." He tried, his voice taking on a desperate tone. Arthur didn't want to lose the actress's friendship. She was too important for him. "I c-can explain."

"Oh, can you explain? You will glue Y/N's head to a cat's body and then you will sit on that old sofa and touch yourself? You should be in Arkham! You're a sick person! I can't believe Y/N was alone with you..."

Arthur felt his stomach churning.

"You're wrong... I have a lot of respect for her. Y/N is special to me and I would never do something like that."

"I don't want to hear your excuses!" The woman threw the journal at him and Arthur cringed like a frightened dog. After hitting him on the back, the journal fell to the floor and when he saw those collages, he felt ashamed of himself. "Listen to me... I will say this only once: Stay away from her. It doesn’t matter what kind of fantasies you’ve created in your sick head, Y/N will not be a part of that. If I know that after today you keep talking to her, I'll call the police and when they find out you're a fucking perv, you will spend the rest of your days in Arkham." She warned with all the letters and threats, now it was up to him to choose to cooperate or not. This man is too old to play being a teenager. These images of naked women, these cats and those sad quotes in his journal prove just one thing. Maybe he's a sexual predator, but Misty wouldn't be here to find that out either. "Enjoy your pornography and leave Y/N alone. I hope I never see you again."

Arthur saw his world fall apart as soon as the redhead left his apartment with the worst assumptions about him. He was not a perverted monster. He would never touch Y/N without her consent and would never endanger her life. Never ever. Y/N was the only good thing about Gotham; she was a light at the end of the tunnel. So angelic and peaceful. Whenever she smiles, butterflies appear in his stomach and Arthur knows what these famous butterflies mean, but he doesn't know what those collages mean... If Y/N knew, she would probably be afraid of him.

In the corridor, the actress was trapped in a bubble, talking animatedly with Charles. The call had no specific reason, the man just wanted to make sure everything was fine for dinner that night.

"Okay... This is one of Gotham's best restaurants. Trust me, you will love the place!" She assured him, intending to make a good impression. It wasn't every day that she got a chance to dine with the genius behind Tiffany & Co. and represent that brand. This was an important step in her career. "Now I need to go, Charles. See you soon, bye!" Y/N hummed the ending, watching Misty approach where she was. "Why are you here?"

"It's just your friend's mom. She's not feeling very well..."

"Isn't Penny okay?" Concern crossed Y/N's face and she tried to get back to apartment 8J, but Misty took her arm, lying again:

"Y/N, don't be indiscreet. This is a family problem and Arthur is taking care of it." With those words, she guided the actress to the elevator, but Y/N kept looking at the door to Arthur's apartment. "You need to prepare for dinner... I chose a beautiful dress for you."

...

THREE DAYS LATER

"Put red on her lips... Don't forget the mascara... and on the cheeks use this blush... Not this one! The peach blush!"

It was possible to say that Charles Lewis Tiffany was taking the place of the makeup artist. The woman was losing patience, Y/N realized this, but he wanted to participate in every second of it. When she finished, Charles smiled, admiring Y/N's beauty through the mirror.

"You see? You're genuinely beautiful... I think I finally found my muse." The actress was flattered by the compliments and that reflected in her smile when Charles took a blue box, but this was not a simple blue box. This is the famous Tiffany Blue Box. "I want you to meet my new creation..." He opened the box, stealing Y/N's breath instantly. "Dramatically plunging down the decolletage, an incredible emerald-cut bicolor zoisite that shifts from violet-blue to purplish-red, depending on the angle. The pendant is over 48 carats and it's wrapped in a halo of baguette diamonds and suspended from a diamond rondelle chain of over 37 total carats."

"Oh Charles, this is absolutely beautiful. I'm speechless..." She confessed, watching him take the necklace and offer to put it around her neck. Y/N accepted immediately and when the pendant touched the white fabric of the dress, she smiled at the mirror.

"Diamonds are a girl's best friend" Charles whispered, eliciting a giggle from her. "Now I need to speak to the photographer, but take a few minutes to prepare yourself." The man smiled one last time and Y/N walked to the door, opening it for him. She took the opportunity to spy on what was happening on the other side and it was possible to say that there was a little sadness in her eyes.

"What are you looking for?" Misty's voice echoed and she closed the door quickly.

"Huh... nothing!"

The woman was checking the contract – something about image authorization – and when she took her eyes off the papers, she found Y/N with a half-hearted smile.

"Go ahead... Spill the tea."

Brian was probably smoking, so Misty was her only option.

"Arthur was busy these days, but he called me this morning... He looked nervous and said he would like to talk to me, so I invited him to accompany the photoshoot, but..."

"You did what?!" Misty left the chair, interrupting her. Not wanting to start a scene, the redhead looked at Dariela, the makeup artist, and said: "Get out." The woman immediately stopped organizing her makeup and ran out of the dressing room.

"Was that necessary?" Y/N asked, crossing her arms.

"And was it necessary to invite that maniac to come here too?"

"Jesus, Misty!" She walked to the other side of the dressing room. "Manic? Really?"

"I'm just telling the truth."

"Based on what? His bank account?"

"Based on his journal." Misty replied and the actress looked in her direction with a frown. Shaking her head, the redhead let out a bitter laugh before confessing: "He doesn't use it just to write jokes... I found a lot of pornography on those pages."

Y/N felt a little uncomfortable with that. Certain things do not need to be exposed... She didn't need to know about that part of Arthur's life and Misty just invaded his privacy.

"Well... many men consume pornography daily."

"Y/N, pornography is not the point here. He makes some weird collages... women with cat heads... skulls... one of these women was tied up in a compromising position... Can you see how problematic this is?" Misty was trying to open her eyes and consequently was scaring the actress, but that was not all. "I saw the magazines. That man will probably do the same to you... your face on the body of these naked women or on a cat's body! You have always been uncomfortable with the way men see you only as a sex symbol... and now Arthur is using you as a sex toy!"

"Stop! Just stop, okay?" Y/N demanded, using an edgy tone of voice. That was too much for her to assimilate. "You're saying this because you do not accept the idea of ​​Arthur being my friend! All that matters to you is status, but it doesn't matter to me! When are you going to let me live my own life?"

"This is not about social classes, this man is a pervert! I'm trying to protect you!"

"Enough, Misty!" That was enough to make the redhead shut up and Y/N found her way back to the mirror.

To complete the look, inside the blue box was a beautiful diamond ring and a pair of shiny round diamond earrings, just waiting for her. Putting on the ring was an easy task, but she couldn’t say the same about earrings; her hands were shaking and this is all the fault of the stress.

"Let me help you." The manager approached and at first Y/N refused her help, but after another failed attempt, she handed the earrings to the woman. "I know I can be a bitch sometimes..."

"Sometimes?"

Misty just sighed, shaking her head.

~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~▪~~~~~~~~~~

a/n – likes and reblogs are appreciated but honestly I’d love to know what you all think of this one. really hope you enjoy it and thank you soooo much for reading ♡

[hypo-critic-al]

Korean Frankenstein musical is quite good!

(MY SUBJECTIVE REVIEW)

After two musical adaptations, which are Frankenstein: a new musical and Frankenstein metal opera, I have discovered, not a secret of life as Victor did, but another very nice adaptation of Frankenstein! It’s name is "프랑켄슈타인 뮤지컬" or simply "Frankenstein musical".

I was watching Frankenstein a new musical stuff on YouTube when I stumbled across a Korean Frankenstein video with English subtitles. Maybe I can give it a watch, I thought...

And oh dear, I wanted more!

I don’t understand a single word of Korean but thanks to a few subtitled songs and Google Translate on my side I got to understand some parts of a plot.

Before I explain the plot I have to say that this is a very interesting and fresh take on the book. If you want to know my thoughts on it and what it is about, then you can read further.

(SPOILERS)

(warning! This story talks about murder, abuse of all kind, suicide intention, incest marriage, and other topics that may be triggering and unpleasant for you. You are free to scroll past this post if you want to avoid reading about these. Thank you.)

(The photos used in this post are from various sources, productions, actors etc. They are used to illustrate and show how the musical looks like. I don’t profit from using them.)

THE SCRIPT: Overture plays and we see a man in a lab leaning over a body on a table. Voice of a man and woman try to stop the said man from doing anything further but then a lightning struck outside of a lab and a body on a table sits up.

The whole story begins here:

It’s 1815, Napoleonic Wars are coming to their end, we meet one Henry Dupré: soldier surgeon and body grafter. He values the life of the others, it’s so precious to him that he doesn’t heal only soldiers from his side, but also his enemies. For this, a crime of espionage, he is to be executed and shot.

However, at the last minute, a soldier from higher ranks stops this. It is no one else than Victor Frankenstein. Victor takes Henry to his lab where he presents him his research and a reason he saved Henry: to create a strong, perfect, possibly immortal human soldiers from dead bodies.

Henry is sceptical at first, he doesn’t want to play God, but later agrees and joins this experiment.

The war has ended, the lab is closed before they could finish their project, so both of them are coming to Victor’s hometown: Geneva. People are celebrating the end of the war at the castle of their Mayor Stephen, Victor’s uncle. People are dancing and chatting and soon they start to spread rumours about Victor. Victor’s older sister Ellen and her cousin who also is Victor’s fiancee Julia are trying to prove rumours wrong but it’s too late. Victor leaves the event and goes to Frankenstein’s mansion.

Meanwhile, Julia is sad at the fact that Victor is cold and ignores her, but she still has hope that he will love her like he did before the war.

Henry and Victor continue their experiment in the old Frankenstein’s mansion, but Henry sees that people of Geneva don’t like Victor and hate the name of Frankenstein, so he asks Victor’s sister Ellen about it.

She then tells him a story of their family:

When they were children there was an epidemic. Their mother got ill and their father, a doctor, was unable to cure this sickness. He was so desperate that he started to believe in alchemy and the medical practise of the Middle Ages. Their mother died and young Victor, full of grief and denial, dug up his mother’s body and secretly tried to bring her back to life. Superstitious people, seeing that Frankenstein’s father used strange medieval remedies and seeing the grave of his wife empty, start to think that Frankensteins are witches. They burned down their castle and while escaping, Victor’s father sacrifices his life to save Victor.

Ellen and Victor go to live with their uncle Stephen and their cousin Julia and since then Victor is obsessed with life-creating. Once, he tried his theories and reanimated dead Julia’s dog, who became savage and feral afterwards.

Uncle Stephen doesn’t like Victor and decides to send him to study abroad. He then became a soldier and we know the rest of the story.

Victor is unable to reanimate a body, it seems that the brain cannot withstand the electric current and he needs to find a fresh brain. While drinking at a bar with Henry, Victor’s butler Runge, who was helping them with their experiment, tells them, that he has promised money to a mortician if he provides them recently dead body. However, it seems that a money-blinded mortician killed a young boy whom Victor knew and now wants more money in exchange for the boy’s brain. Victor lost his temper, killed the man and escaped. Henry takes the blame and is soon to be executed.

Runge, Julia and Ellen know the truth about his experiment and Victor’s crime but they doesn’t want to lose him. He tries to tell the court that he is a killer, but Stephen denies it, saying Victor is insane and ill after the war, so the court dismisses his testimony and Henry is sentenced to die under a guillotine.

Victor asks Henry in jail why he sacrificed himself and Henry says that Victor must live to fulfil his dream and that he must finish his experiment in a memory of him.

After his death, Victor takes Henry’s head and uses it as a last part of the Creature whom he brings to life. Runge and Ellen are amazed to see the reanimated Creature but Victor is crazy, he believes that he resurrected Henry.

However, they see the Creature move around weirdly, trying to come closer to his creator. This freaks Runge out and he attacks him, thinking the Creature wants to strangle Victor. Monster tried to defend himself, bit the butler’s neck and Runge died.

Frustrated Victor, seeing that this isn’t his Henry but feral Creature, wants to shot him but the Creature escapes the lab.

Three years later, Victor and Julia are celebrating their wedding. He is still anxious and thinks about Creature. Mayor’s servants then rush to him, announce him that his uncle, Mayor Stephen, has disappeared.

Victor distances himself from guests and that’s when the Creature appears before him.

Monster, who read Victor’s diary, which was in coat which Creature have grabbed before his escape, blames Victor for Henry’s death, he argues that he didn’t want to be created, left alone and later almost killed. Then he tells his story to scared Victor:

The Creature was running from Victor and after some time he found a village. He couldn’t overcome his hunger and decided to eat a dog. Turns out that the dog was of Eva, the wealthy owner of a fighting field and she sends her arena warriors to capture the Creature.

(This is where Google Translator began to fail, so I had to deduce things. When there is something I couldn’t understand, I put a question mark after it.)

The Creature sees Catherine, a servant in said fighting field, being attacked by a bear(?). He kills it and Eva, seeing Creature’s amazing strength, doesn’t punish him, instead she enlists him to her fighting arena as one of the gladiators.

Creature’s whole purpose is to fight with other fighters. Eva and Jacques, Eva’s husband, are constantly punishing and verbally abusing him.

The only person that shows sympathy for Creature is Catherine, who is also abused by her masters, fighters and other people from the arena, to which she was sold at a young age. She cleanses his wounds and she dreams of escaping away, to the North Pole, where there are no people to abuse her. Creature is fascinated by her story and wants to run away, too.

One day Fernando, creditor of the arena, promises that he will free them out of debt if the Creature wins against his fighter. He then approaches Catherine, promising her freedom if she adds strange medicine to Creature’s water. She is blinded by a promised freedom and does so.

The Creature is defeated in a fight, but Fernando’s plan is revealed and Jacques announces that the next day Catherine will die in the arena.

Monster is left alone, miserable, angry, longing for love and thirsty for vengeance and revenge upon his creator, he sets the arena on fire and finds Victor in Geneva.

Creature here ends his story and announces that this is the beginning of his revenge and escapes. Victor learns soon after that his uncle was killed and the court blamed his sister Ellen for murder. He arrives too late, Ellen is already hanged.

He then takes her body with intention of reanimating it, his lab is however destroyed by a Creature. Victor pleads Creature to kill him, but the Creature laughs, telling him that revenge is not over yet.

Day, when Victor feels the Creature would come he gathers people with guns in front of his house to kill Monster as soon as he appears. Suddenly, they hear Julia’s scream inside the house. Victor knows who to blame, and cries, asking why the Creature killed her and not him. Creature, who is standing near Victor tells that if he wants to avenge his dearest ones, he can find him in the North Pole.

While running there, Creature is regretthing his sins and while looking back at his life he finds a young boy lost in the woods. He calms the crying boy by telling him a story of a man who fought against God by creating life. The boy is curious and says that the Monster in the story is the Creature telling him this tale. The creature is annoyed by further questions, pushes the child into the water and continues his path to the Arctic.

Victor, from the last strength, reaches the Creature and fights with him. Creature stabs Victor’s leg with a knife and Victor shoots the Creature. Creature then says that because of a leg injury Victor won’t leave the Arctic and by following him to the Arctic he basically just punished himself.

The Creature dies, saying that justice was done and calls his creator "my friend". Victor sees that he is the one responsible for his tragedy, he was successful in revenge but at the expense of losing everything, and calls his creation, the last thing that somehow cared for Victor Frankenstein, his friend. He then slowly dies with his Creature in his arms.

—————————

Whew! This took me longer than I wanted to. First my draft got deleted, then again...

This musical wasn‘t directly sticking to the source material, but it is referencing it pretty often. For example, character of Henry Dupré was inspired by Henry Clerval, Julia=Elizabeth, Ellen is falsely acussed of murder as Justine was, instead of burning down a cottage of DeLacys, Creature burns down a fighting field etc. And is Runge a parallel for an Igor? I think he is.

Victor and Creature stay pretty similar to the book. Victor’s actions are affected by his pride, he doesn’t care about morality, God, etc. His actions may come from love of those he lost (his mother, Henry...) but he is careless and revenge blinds him that he slowly destroys himself. He may fight against God, but he faills to take responsibility.

Also, how could he think he would revive Henry by stitching his head to a creature’s neck? That’s dumb! Victor, I know you want your boyfriend back, but that is awful.

The Creature wants to be loved but instead he is hated everywhere he goes. He reads Victor’s diary and is mad at him, he doesn’t see that although Victor tries to make strong corpse soldier but he doesn’t know the thought process behind it and a fact that Victor tried to revive Henry by making the Creature.

So the Creature shows him a simple revenge plan: Runge attempted to kill me – I killed him. You are resposible for Henry’s death – I kill your uncle. You are responsible for my creation – Ellen dies. You tried to kill me and abadoned me – I kill Julia. Now if you wanna take this further and destroy yourself even more, come to Arctic.

And Victor does. And monster uses the same logic later, too. They both thought of stopping this chase to Arctic stuff but they were blindly following their rage for one another which resulted in their death.

I can’t judge things further because I didn’t watched full show.

But the music is pretty much fantastic! Just epic. I don’t care very much for flaws If a musical has great music.

Also if you look at actors, singing, dancing, costumes... I feel like a lot of money went into this musical. And a lot of money have returned from tickets. I think I read somewhere that this is considered the best original Korean musical in Korea. Because other musicals that are this popular are Broadway musical productions.

This may be a clichè for someone but I truly enjoy smart double acting roles. Not the ones like: okay, we don’t have enough actors, let’s make this one play another role. No, not like that. I like those meaningful ones. Kinda what Hamilton did. Here it is too. You see, it is obvious that the actor playing Henry plays later the Creature. A person whom once Victor adored is now a person whom he hated the most. And actor of Victor plays role of Jacques in second act. Isn‘t this cool? A person who rejected him is now a person abusing him. Every named character plays another role similar to the one in first act. I think Eva is played by actress of Ellen, Ellen stands by Victor’s side and agrees with everything he says. That’s also Eve’s relationship with her husband Jacques, played by actor of Victor. Soft, loving Julia is Catherine here. Actor of Runge plays the role of Jacques’ servant. Etc., etc.

One thing I didn’t like much was a difficult story. I know that Korean audience may have different taste, but to me, a Western listener, it was a bit confusing plot. They added unnecessary stuff to it, changed some things and sometimes it’s really confusing. (Hey! That’s what Jekyll & Hyde did! They left only key things from the book and changed everything. And this musical is comparable to J&H then. It’s not Frankenstein: a new musical that is similar to J&H, it’s this! This is a Frankenstein adaptation that follows the story path of J&H. That’s interesting.)

And I didn‘t mind this, but couldn’t they left the names unchanged? Why couldn’t Victor’s fianceé have a name Elizabeth? And why you have Jacques and Eva? You could have one character, only Eva for example. Jacques is just here, slapping the Creature (the only reason for having them both is their double acting roles, which I understand). And there is Ernest erasure as always. And no Robert Walton, too! They cut this character. The more I look into it, the more I feel that this musical was made by someone who liked Jekyll & Hyde.

(END OF SPOILERS)

To sum up, this musical appears to me as a nice, original take on the original book. It has interesting parallels to the book, references it throughout this show, and takes inspiration from Frankenstein movies. It feels like a blow of fresh air.

The music is very likeable. If you like Wildhorn-ish kind of stuff like I do, then this is, I don’t know, it feels more complex and confident than what I am used to. Maybe you won’t like it, maybe it becomes your favourite musical, this is just my opinion.

And don’t get me started on singing, acting, costume design, sets, choreography... it’s beyond perfect and I think that the West musicals should take notes.

I have talked about some stuff a bit more in a spoiler section but I have to say it here too, this musical has a very interesting take on Victor/Henry relationship that later affects Victor’s actions and his relationship with the Creature. It’s very heartwarming and creepy at the same time.

I think my sole obsession for countless days (I haven’t listened to anything else than these since last March) that are Frankenstein: a new musical, and Jekyll & Hyde musical have a new opponent. New March, new me (It’s still just Frankenstein tho).

So, pros and cons:

PROS:

-good music

-good acting

-good singing

-referencing the source material

-nice take on Victor/Henry relationship

-I like reasonable double acting roles

-simply it’s good

CONS:

-name change of main characters

-no Robert and Ernest (I know, but not even Walton is here!)

-tiring and long story

-unnecessary/bland female characters

-foreign language

I rate this musical 8,25/10. I still haven‘t seen it whole, so I can’t really judge it objectively.

I assume there is no full recording and I can’t find a script either. If anyone has an English or Korean script/bootleg, please, let me know : )

Here is a recording of a few songs performed at a musical press conference, you can set an English subtitles if you want to know the words:

Here is a link to the full Korean album, not all songs were recorded on the album:

And here is an animatic that makes me cry ;-;:

I apologise for bad grammar, stupid reasoning and other things.

I hope you didn’t mind me sharing this musical with you, I like this show and I haven’t seen any people talk about it in Frankenstein (book/musical/etc.) fandom, so I made this post to share it with you.

Have a nice day : D

[thatmultifandomhoe]

Knitting You a Home - 9

Pairing: Wolf Hybrid Namjoon and Human Reader

Word Count: 2,557

Genre/Rating: Hybrid AU - Established Relationship - Angst - Fluff - Smut - Rated PG-13

Overview: Things have changed for you and Namjoon. It’s been a year since the two of you got together, and despite a rocky start, it was impossible to deny the bond and love you shared for each other. But ever since Hoseok had been separated from his Mate, Namjoon has been withdrawing himself from you and doesn’t come home until late at night.

With questions far larger than either of you imagined, you can’t help but wonder if he’s let his past and old fears come back to haunt him. You had shown him that it was possible to have a home and be loved once before, but will you be able to do it again?

Warning: A brief implication of drugs - shit’s about to go down in this part - sorry - not sorry.

Music Playlist:

Main Master List:

Knitting You a Home Master List:

Mated Love is Never Easy Series Master List:

Sneak Peak - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14 - Part 15 - ?

©thatmultifandomhoe 2021. Do not repost, translate, or use my stories without permission.

Namjoon’s chest was heaving as he got off the stage, the strobe lights swirling around the room as the bounced up and down. Whoever decided that having the Underground under a night club was perhaps the smartest person alive.

“Now that’s what I’m talking about!” Jackson shouted, handing Namjoon a towel to wipe away the sweat. “You have them eating out of your hands man.”

Letting himself be led to the lounge area, Namjoon laughed as Jackson continued praising him. His ears felt warm as he ducked his head, taking a moment to focus on drying off and collecting his thoughts, a habit he engaged in since the first time he went up on stage.

The Underground lasted until dawn every night. After that first encounter with Jackson, Namjoon found himself coming to Lotus after work on the nights they had rap battles, and this was his fourth time rapping against someone. Apparently after he told Jackson about wanting to be on stage, the jacked up blond man had self-appointed himself as his own personal manager and by the next night when Namjoon came by, he had a clipboard tossed in his face. Written in black pen was his name on a sign-up sheet. Fourth spot.

There was a part of him that felt guilty for not telling you about this. He was still playing it off as late nights at work, which was partially true. Yoongi and him were still at odds with the artist, the unspeakable song was now a thorn in their sides along with the unwanted girlfriend. She was coming to all the meetings now. Her perfume tainted their workspace to the point that Namjoon had to ask Yoongi if they could share studios for a bit.

But now instead of catching the bus or a ride with Yoongi to go home, he found himself going to Lotus, a flame within burning to get up on the stage again. He had years of material and with it memorized, it was only the nerves he had to shove away before walking up those short steps.

No one had cheered for him when he was announced that first night. The other contender had been new as well, but by the end of their round, the crowd was cheering for Rap Monster even after Jackson led him away for some air.

“Hey man, you feeling okay?” Jackson suddenly asked, the door creaking as he led Namjoon out a side door.

Namjoon lifted his head, breathing in a lungful of the warm summer air. “Yeah,” he said, leaning against the brick wall when the door shut. The loud music was muffled then, giving him the peace that he needed for that moment. The high he got from being up there was, out of this world, but the last thing he wanted was for it to get to his head.

What he wanted, was for you to be there.

To be cheering him on and being the one for him to hug after each round. To breathe in your scent and go on a mental trip to fall where there were crisp apples and nutmeg, all while standing out in the middle of a summer night. You were the one who grounded him, the most important person in the world, all while reminding him that he was living out his dreams.

“Just catching my breath,” Namjoon reassured.

Jackson pointed a finger at him and joined his side against the wall. “Man, I knew I had a good feeling about you since that first night.”

“Are you sure you don’t have any dog DNA in you?” Namjoon asked, still amazed with how much energy Jackson possessed.

The blond just laughed though. “Yeah, I’m sure. There’s just something I don’t get though.” He handed over a water bottle, not without stealing a sip first.

“And what’s that?”

“Why the hell don’t you have an album out if you work for a recording company?” Jackson frowned as he looked at Namjoon. The question had been bothering Jackson since he first learned about where he worked.

However, Namjoon just shrugged, gulping down some of the lukewarm water. “It wasn’t a priority when I first started working there,” he explained, passing the bottle back to Jackson. “Yes, I wrote songs and after I met Angel, the dream of putting out an album finally came back, but I wasn’t ready for anyone to hear it.”

Jackson nodded in understanding, but came to a pause as he thought over something that confused him. “Wait, you saw an Angel? Man, do I need to know something? Maybe start carrying a little something in-case things go sideways?”

Grateful to not have taken a drink, Namjoon grinned. Although, when you entered his life, he swore that angels were suddenly real and walked among everyone on Earth, they were just well hidden. Only revealing themselves to a special few. He knew that considering his life and the things that he’s done, he didn’t deserve you, but he was a selfish bastard and he didn’t want to let you go.

“No, no. You’re fine. Angel is just a nickname for my…”

His voice softened, torn between saying the truth, and what he so longed to say. His wife. That word alone managed to free and strangle him at the same time, because as true as it was, it wasn’t a legal binding marriage. Not for humans at least.

“Your Mate?” Jackson said, figuring that was what he meant.

“Yeah,” he said. “My Mate.”

Pointing at the door, Jackson smiled. “Is she here? What the hell man, why’d you let me take you outside if she’s inside? Shit, I feel bad, we ditched her without a second thought. Look I know a girl who works at this florist shop, she does some amazing work and I can get you a discount if your girl’s upset –”

“Angel’s not here,” Namjoon interrupted, waving his hands to catch his attention. It truly was shocking that the guy wasn’t a hybrid.

Jackson’s eyes widened as his mouth dropped open, the snap-back that he wore sliding down until he shoved it around backwards. “Oh shit, is she sick?”

“No, she just…”

How does he say that you had no idea that he was even here? That if he was being honest, you were probably certain that he was still at work and because you trusted him, hadn’t thought to call Yoongi and ask where he was. Namjoon knew that you listened to rap on occasion, so it wasn’t as if you would outright hate the music.

It was just…no one knew who he was here.

Sure, he was quickly becoming friends with Jackson, but Jackson never knew him before their first meeting. No one knew about his past, or the hybrid that he had been forced to be to survive. They only knew what he told them, and the songs he wrote and performed.

The idea of you not approving, or worse, being disappointed in him, made the hard decision only slightly easier. It was better that you didn’t know. He was already unable to do the one thing he knew you longed for, why add another to that list?

The side door opened, strobe lights brightening the darkness as a group of girls walked outside, their high-pitched laughter hitting Namjoon’s ears in a way that had them flattening against his skull. They served as the distraction that he needed though. One glance at Jackson revealed that his new friend was already grinning, even finger waving, at one of the brunettes.

Namjoon raised an eyebrow, fighting back a smile as he clapped Jackson’s shoulder. “Alright Romeo, I’m calling it a night.”

“Yeah,” Jackson murmured, glancing back at Namjoon. “I’ll see you for the next battle?”

“I’ll be here. Night man.”

“Night.”

Walking around his friend, Namjoon opened the door and glanced backwards, chuckling as Jackson nodded for the girl to join him. Not wanting to get in the way of his friend perhaps meeting the one, he let the door close behind him and headed his way towards the hallway that would lead out of the Underground and the Lotus.

There was certainly a benefit to knowing that for every Hybrid, each one had their own Mate, destined to be their one and only for eternity. There was too much uncertainty with humans, always the possibility that they didn’t love you as much as you loved them. Granted, finding your Mate was never always an easy thing to do, but even on the coldest night when the entire world appeared in black and white, it had been a comforting thought to know that someone was out there waiting for him.

He never would have thought he’d end up with an angel though.

Leaving the swarm of club goers behind him, he deeply inhaled, double patting his back pocket to guarantee that his notebook was still there – which it was thankfully – and began the long walk home. The last bus running had stopped hours ago. Even Jerry was starting to ask where he went now that he was getting off at a new stop. Every time he asked, the concern and worry rolled off of him like freshly baked bread, and the lies came too easily.

I’m meeting up with Angel for a late night out.

It had worked for the first couple times, but Namjoon knew it wouldn’t last forever. There were only so many places that the someone could go to this late at night.

His ears flattened against the curve of his skull, his tail coming to a halt as he walked. When did it become easier to lie to you than tell the truth? This wasn’t a life that you deserved, but as much as he hated to admit it, there was no ending in sight for him. He…he couldn’t give up the rap battles. Not when he was getting so much attention, when so many people were enjoying and listening to what he had to say.

He finally found a place where he felt like he belonged.

Deep within, his heart ached in confusion and longing. After so long, he was getting the recognition and acknowledgement that his dreams had a possibility of being a reality. On the other side however, he knew he wasn’t supposed to be doing this alone. There was an empty place that could only be filled by one person and one person only, and you were sleeping in bed.

Carefully shutting the front door behind him, Namjoon yawned as he removed his ear buds with one hand, pausing the music on his phone with the other, all while carefully kicking his shoes off and on to the rack in the hallway.

It was well after three in the morning, and limbs heavy from the long walk, all he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep with you before returning back to work in a few hours. If it weren’t for the fact that he knew he couldn’t sleep without you anymore, he would have gladly passed out on the couch that was only a handful of steps away.

His exhaustion dulled his senses and as a result, he didn’t pick up on the way that your scent was stronger than it usually was. Granted, this was your home and you spent a majority of your time here, but the living room and kitchen were bathing in nutmeg. He hummed at the way it tickled his memories, vaguely recalling the last time it had been this strong so late at night.

A bang in the kitchen revived him from his daze, frowning as he hurried his way to the kitchen, only then noticing how all the lights in the living room and kitchen were on. He stopped short though, only reaching the kitchen table which was currently hidden underneath the many plates of baked goods that covered it.

You were standing at oven with you back to him, the screen of your phone lit up as your fingers quickly tapped on it before removing a cookie sheet off the stove top and on to a cooling rack. It was a pie. A deep breath on his part and not only was he smelling you, or the apple pie that you baked at three in the morning, but the saltiness of tears being shed.

“Angel?”

Stepping around the table, Namjoon suddenly felt wide awake knowing that you were in pain. His instincts screamed at him to go to you, to hold and comfort you until you were able to tell him what was wrong. To protect you from whatever was hurting you.

At the sound of his voice, you whirled around to face him, the tears turning your eyes into mini oceans when you met his gaze. But you held a palm up and shook your head. His heart came to sudden halt. You didn’t want him to come to you.

“I…I can’t do this,” you said. Your voice was cracking, your free hand curling into a fist by your side.

He felt your pain coming off of you in waves, every emotion seeming to hit Namjoon from every angle but when he tried to go to you once again, a choked cry escaped your lips as you shook your head again.

“Sweetheart,” he whined, his ears now completely flat as he reached out for the back of the chair. You never turned away his hugs and touch before. Usually, you told him how much his presence was more than enough to comfort you. “What’s wrong? What happened Angel?”

A quick glance away from you revealed that even on the counters there were more baked goods. The last time you had done this…Sue had taken Hoseok away from Sarah. He bit down on the inside of his mouth, trying to push that memory away. No. You were his Mate. You had promised that what happened to them would never happen to the two of you.

He watched your tongue dart out to wet your lips, your shaky breaths loud as your tried to collect yourself without his help, his own tears slipping out when you covered your face with your hands for a moment.

“Who is she?” Your voice was muffled by your hands, but you lifted your head to repeat yourself. “Who is she?”

“Who’s who?” He asked, not understanding who you were talking about.

That must have been the wrong thing to say however, because your face scrunched up as another sob left your shoulders shaking and bent you forward. Despite not wanting him near, he couldn’t let you collapse in on yourself. Catching you, he gently guided you to one of the chairs, crouching down on the floor in front of you to be able to look up at you.

“Please, sweetheart. What’s going on? Please tell me.”

“Who is she?” You asked, staring at him with all the pain laid out in your eyes for him to see, sending his own heart cracking at the agony you had been hiding from him. He didn’t think anything could be more painful than seeing you hurting so much. His entire being and purpose felt like it was shattering to a million pieces.

“Who’s the woman that you’re having an affair with Namjoon? Who is she?”