#my dumb brain just gives me the happy chemicals for dumb stupid fluff

[thefoolsbullshit]

Domestic fluff is the one thing that makes me just start kicking my feet like yes give me a story about two screwed up people that have childhood trauma living together and getting through rough things together, give me the morning cuddles and holding someone close as they cook breakfast in the morning. By Zeus give me f*cking soft kisses all over their partners face until they become flustered. Give me a story about two people who love each other and just do sweet things with each other.

Give me:

Soft gentle kisses during nights where neither one can sleep

Cuddling on the couch together with coffee and some dumb movie/show playing

Playfully teasing kisses and tackle hugging

Sweet little moments where speaking just doesn't need to happen

The softest words being spoke in a sweet whisper in their ear

Holding each other close and just letting it be how they stay together for a few moments

Kisses in the rain and sweet words in between soft kisses

Two lovers just holding hands as they walk around

Comfort cuddles

Helping with chores around the house/apartment

Playing with their hair

Stroking their hair

Forehead kisses

Letting them cry as they hold them

I want to see sweet gentle love, and I just love seeing it and I love trying to write it.

[koushisatori]

Surprise

kuroo x f!reader

genre: birthday fluff

warnings: none

word count: 2.3k

note: I made it !! Happy Birthday to you, Kuroo ! <3 - Also I’ll beta it later when i’m home from university, bc it’s 3 am here, oops x.x

Kuroo wasn’t jealous, really because logically there was no reason to be

You were his girlfriend and you did not mind sudden Hollywood blockbuster worthy kisses when he got a spurt of…possessiveness towards you

He is in no way overbearing or anything, both of you share the opinion that even though you’re a couple you don’t have to be together all the time, spend afternoons with your friends

Then again, you two spend quite a lot of time together, with you being the  Volleyball Clubs manager, always staying behind with your team when they practiced way past the official clubs' training's hours

But sometimes he woke up and felt the need to have you all to himself

On those days a slightly lingering gaze by other would irk him enough to    permanently glue himself to your side or back

Because of the rareness of that situation, you generally give into that specific mood and take him either with you if you had plans or adapt to whatever your handsome boyfriend seemed fit

(usually, it consists of getting snacks from the store to make watching movies more fun after you both finished your homework. And also cuddles. Lots and lots and lots of cuddling and kisses.)

Anyway, normally he’s a super laid back, relaxed, and ‘’the best boyfriend in the world, right, baby?’’

Kuroo was happy with being ‘’a bit (big times) nerdy’’ as kenma liked to remark, liked that things had their reasons and were logically intelligible

Well…he quickly realized that, while emotions were chemically explainable this also was as far as logic was helpful with them

Sooo…there was no reasonable excuse for him to feel that ugly burning in his chest watching you ruffle through Lev’s hair and giggle so cutely

But it was his birthday, and you should be all over HIM because HE was YOUR boyfriend and in general, maybe he had one of those not so great days bc not only did he get stuck in his bedsheets and face planted to the ground first thing in the morning but his breakfast toast also landed with its face on the kitchen floor just after he put away all the things he used

You were…not avoiding him but kind of distant with your thoughts

At lunch, he was telling you something you’d usually find at least funny if not hilarious because your humor was so fantastically similar to his, but all you did was smile lightly

You even whispered with Yaku instead of talking to him !! how dare you

Rest in peace, Kuroo (you will survive one day with a bit less attention of your s/o)

He wasn’t jealous of Lev or thought that you suddenly developed feelings for the younger boy

He was jealous because that tall child hoarded all of your attention, while you had looked at him maybe twice, three times tops, in the last hour

‘’Kuroo.’’ To the untrained ear the small setters voice as passive as usual. Kuroo though is able to easily distinguish the various different layers of Kozume Kenma’s very real, emotional bandwidth. The captain did hear Kenma and his questioning as well as slightly worried tone, he simply chooses to not react in favor of shooting (barely) decently hidden death glares at the to-tall-for-his-own-good-boy. 

‘’Kuroo.’’ The slight change in his childhood friend's voice was enough for the black-haired player to grudgingly turn away from you and Lev to look at Kenma.

‘’Yes.’’ Tetsurou huffs out, giving his best to not sound like a petulant child. ‘’You’re so dumb.’’ Kenma said dryly, definitely analyzing him. The questioning sound leaving Kuroo was close to embarrassing, a quick cough and back straightening later, he adds ‘’You wound me. Right here.’’ While pressing his hand flat against his chest. ‘’Where’s my understanding childhood friend to put balm on my hurting heart by sharing emotionally charged, empathic words with me?’’

Instead of offering the desired words, the smaller boy rolls his eyes before he averts them to his hand-held gaming console. ’’Can you put that thing away, we’re at practice Kenma.’’ Kuroo all but unintentionally whined. 

Everything was stressing him out today. Usually, his childhood friend at least stuck to the general rule of not using it outside the breaks. But obviously, there was a plot against him going on with the goal to annoy him more than usual because, of course, why not doing it on his damn birthday. Nice friends and their nice presents.

Just like Kuroo did mere minutes before, Kenma decided to simply…ignore his request half voiced as some kind of instruction. Well…things didn’t work like they were supposed to, he didn’t feel like arguing with his friend so he let him be for now. Rather than that, he turned back to you and Lev, who – for once – seemed eager to train his digging and passing game because you threw the volleyball for him to dive after.

‘’Where in freaking hell is Yaku…’’ Kuroo muttered grumpily, before repeating louder ‘’Yaku! Why am I the only third…Noboyuki!’’These definitely aren’t my friends, he thought while finally giving in to his deepest desire of ripping you away from the grey-haired future wannabe ace. 

‘’You truly are dense when it comes to (Y/N),’’ Kenma says, moving away towards the benches, before swerving around them to leave for the clubroom. ‘’The definition of tunnel vision.’’

The thing is, Kuroo heard Kenma say it, but his brain refused to acknowledge them, too focused on finally being in the spotlight of your focus.

 Meanwhile, you were watching your dark-haired boyfriend closer than he realized. You carried the whole plan. Or rather your ability to make him lose focus on anything that isn’t you, with just the right amount of addressing the slight possessive side of his and deprivation of your attention.

Even though all of this was just so the others could fulfill their part of the plan, you hate how it led him to mope around the whole day. It was so hard to not laugh about his stupid science joke at lunch and overall, not tell him all day how glad you were that he was born. This is his special day, why wouldn’t you tell him how much you loved his presence and his annoyingly attractive smirk? If not for the others and them begging and bribing you, you would smooch his kissable cheeks, nose, forehead, and lips all day long to honor this special date.

You are an amazing and emphatic girlfriend, so…of course, you realize that his mood in general is rather on the bad side today. He wants you close and to himself, and you did the complete opposite! Tetsurou would absolutely give you an ear full later when he finally understood the whole plan.

Nonetheless, it is kind of cute how he tried to hide that he was sulking. Your big baby of a boyfriend was currently trying to kill poor Lev with his gaze alone, staring holes into the back of his head all the while directing puppy dog eyes at you to relent and come over.

Usually, your Tetsurou was the perfect team captain. Attentive, clever, strategical, and just the right amount of authoritarian and approachable. But with his mind stuck on questioning why you were being weird to him on his birthday, he had yet to realize that through the whole time of today’s practice all of his teammates inexplicably went missing for about 15 minutes before they either sneaked back in (the first years and some of the second years) or openly announced a little too detailed information on how, for example, the bathroom visit has been absolutely necessary and could not be postponed.

The only problem: Lev wasn’t allowed to know of the plan until a second beforehand to not accidentally spoil the surprise out of pure excitement to surprise his Kuroo-senpai.

When you see your better half starting to approach the two of you, yelling for his vice-captain and the libero simultaneously, you whisper ‘’Lev, when I say now, you have to start running okay and call for Yaku. Ask him to practice your receives as loud as you can, and take off over to the clubroom as fast as possible, alright? Also, please don’t fall, we don’t need a bloody and broken nose, Tetsu is pissed enough already. Please do it for me, okay?’’ It was a bit unfair of you to look at him hopefully like that, but as the team manager, you posessed a certain power none of the other third years had over the younger players.

Just a moment before Kuroo got the chance to grab the clueless middle blockers shirt collar, you voice out a hushed ‘’Now!’’. You immediately look up innocently to your boyfriend and finally put the warm smile on your lips that wanted to sit there since your eyes fell on him the first time this morning. ‘’Tetsu...is everything okay?’’ - ‘’Yaku-senpai, please help me with my receives!’’

‘’Lev never asks for receiving practice...’’ is…not the thing you wanted your boyfriend to say. Panicking that he might find out now, still a bit too early, you do the only thing that you know WILL take his mind off of it. You cup his cheek with your hands and pull him down to press your lips against his. 

His reaction was immediate, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you so close to him that not even a feather would fit between the two of you. Getting into the spontaneous moment, you happily loop your arms around his neck, smiling softly into the kiss. 

Yeah...you definitely had missed that.

When you break apart, he pecks your lips a few additional times for good measure before he bends down even more to bury his face in your neck, enjoying how your fingers softly stroke through and play with his hair, in all the right ways, helping him to relax for the first time in hours. ‘’Baby,…’’ he murmurs against your skin ‘’…no one is training the way they should, let’s just ditch practice. We get a cake from the bakery down the street and eat it in bed, okay?’’

For the second time today, you feel bad. Your boyfriend's voice sounds tired and that was not how a birthday boy was supposed to sound. With his face in your neck, you were able though to watch the entrance. They should come in any second now. You feel tempted to give into Tetsurou’s wishes.

Can they hurry up?! 

The thought desperately shoots through your head, because even though he was currently not paying attention to anything but recharging and breathing you in, Kuroo is way too perceptive to not get behind the ruckus going on in the gym the whole afternoon.

‘’We can cuddle later, Tetsu, I promise my whole afternoon is all for you. If you want I can even sleep over.’’ Your soothing words made his invisible cat ears prick up and listen interested. You knew that, from the moment you both enter the comfort of his home, he would drape himself over you for permanent, never-ending cuddles. The only reason for him to let go of you - unwillingly so - will be you whining about having to use the bathroom. For everything else, you would have to carry a (nearly) dead weight of the size and weight of your boyfriend everywhere.

‘’I haven’t heard Tora for a while now….’’ The raven-haired middle blocker mumbles, and your heart picks up some speed again.

Looking for words you stammer some intangible syllables, which lead Kuroo to look up, suspicion swirling in his hazel eyes. ‘’Baby…what’s wrong?’’ he asks, cocking his head to the side, watching you like a cat its prey. Quickly waving your hands in front of you, you hastily answer a ‘’Nothing.’’ And try to smile away the panic.

Before he got the chance to repeat his question and pry it out of you, the gym darkens, and you breathe out a sigh of relief. Just on time. With the door opening a little source of light illuminates his teammate's faces with his closest friends at the front. Yaku holding a cake stabbed with 18 sparklers, and Nobuyuki holding an unholy amount of the ugliest birthday ballons you had ever seen. All of them together slaughtering the happy birthday song in such a passionate manner, that you could see yourself being able to forgive them the torture they put you through in the near future. 

‘’Come one, birthday boy.’’ You say with a loving smile, and grab his hand to pull him to the rest of the group.

The moment the lights flicker back on and everyone is cheering out loud one last time. You realize belated that Kuroo (intended) and you (unintended) were besieged with confetti and glitter. (You, until this day, suspect Yamamoto who looked a bit too innocent for your taste.)

‘’All of that…for me?’’ Kuroo questions, his gorgeous eyes shining tell telling in the remaining light of the sparkles. Following his words, Kenma takes a small step forward quickly handing over a small book – filled with birthday wishes, pictures that were taken with each and all of them, inside jokes and doodles - just to move out of the spotlight again as quickly as he jumped into it. ‘’Surprise, Tetsu.’’ You say with a sweet smile, that makes him move closer to you to gift himself a taste of your lips.

Before things get to turn mushy and emotional, a chant of Cake! Cake! Cake! – started by Lev and Tora, joined by everyone, disrupts the moment the two of you had.

‘’Okay, okay! I hear the will of the people, I’ll submit to it!’’ Kuroo gives in laughing. ‘’But…’’ a theatrical moment of silence ‘’I want to cut the cake with (Y/N) together!’’ Your boyfriend proudly announces, and, to his delight, you blush furiously. Yakus laughing remark of ‘’Oi, Kuroo, this is not your wedding, you know!’’ was followed by various joking wolf whistles and some hollering. You didn’t know how you ended up being in the center of attention together with him, but when Tetsuro easily replies ’’Well, I need to perfect this skill it for the real ceremony after party one day.’’ You knew that you wouldn’t want to be somewhere else.

[splendidlyimperfect]

It’s been thirteen years since Natsu and Gray met in a program for troubled youth - since they both fell apart and helped put each other back together. Now they’re married and happy, loving each other and the shared family they found. But the past doesn’t always stay past, and when the things that broke them come back into their lives, Natsu and Gray have difficult decisions to make - ones that could change their lives forever.

Chapter Summary: Natsu and Gray deal with the aftermath of their fight.

Chapters (9/?): 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Rogue Cheney/Sting Eucliffe, Laxus Dreyar/Freed Justine, Cana Alberona/Lucy Heartfilia, Chelia Blendy/Wendy Marvell Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Rogue Cheney, Sting Eucliffe, Freed Justine, Laxus Dreyar, Wendy Marvell, Chelia Blendy, Ultear Milkovich, Lyon Vastia, Lucy Heartfilia, Cana Alberona Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aged-Up Character(s), Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Married Couple, Established Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Drug Addiction, Mental Health Issues, Foster Care, Family Issues, Tumblr: FTLGBTales, Grief/Mourning, Childhood Trauma, Bipolar Disorder, Adoption, Families of Choice, Nonbinary Character, Trans Character, Genderfluid Character, Forgiveness, Absent Parents, they're really in love but are sometimes dumb, Natsu is a stubborn shit Series: Part 14 of the only hope for me is you, Part 3 of if you jump i'll break your fall

**TW for brief mention of suicide attempt and child abuse

-----

Gray woke up alone. A thin ray of morning sunlight spilled through the window, and Happy was curled up next to him, purring contentedly. It took Gray a second to realize that he was still dressed in yesterday’s clothes.

“Hey, you,” he said to Happy, voice hoarse as he pushed himself up and ran his fingers through his hair. His eyes were swollen from crying, and when he rubbed his face, his skin felt tight and uncomfortable.

A clattering sound from the kitchen filled Gray with a sense of relief – Natsu was still here. Gray stretched, then stood up and took a deep breath before heading out into the living room.

Natsu stood in the kitchen, staring dully at a spot on the counter. The only sound in the apartment was the soft hiss of the coffee machine and the quiet hum of the washing machine from down the hallway.

“Hey,” Gray said, moving closer to Natsu and reaching out for him hesitantly. Natsu looked up at Gray with red eyes, giving him a soft smile before pulling him into an embrace. The tension in Gray’s body slowly melted away as he let himself relax in Natsu’s arms.

“You hungry?” Natsu asked, nodding at the fridge. “I can make pancakes.”  

Gray shook his head. “My stomach hurts,” he mumbled into Natsu’s shoulder.

“Mine too,” Natsu said, kissing Gray’s temple. “C’mon, let’s go sit down.”

Continue reading on AO3

Gray grabbed both cups of coffee and followed Natsu into the living room where they both curled up on the couch. Natsu yawned, rubbing his face and then pulling his sleeves down over his hands.

“That’s my sweater,” Gray said, sipping his coffee.

“Mm.” Natsu picked at a loose thread in the blanket. “I just...”

Guilt welled up in Gray’s chest and he set his coffee down on the table, then took Natsu’s hand. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I didn’t mean them.”

“You did,” Natsu said, shaking his head. “It’s okay,” Natsu reassured Gray quickly, squeezing his hand. “I was the one who was an ass. I shouldn’t have lied to you about my dad; I don’t know what the hell I was thinking.” He swallowed, keeping his gaze on their joined hands. “I didn’t plan on talking to him, I wasn’t lying about that, I promise.”

Gray shifted closer, pushing the blanket out of the way and wrapping his arm around Natsu. Natsu sighed, tipping his head against Gray’s and running his thumb over Gray’s knuckles.

“I just kept thinking about him. And you kept saying he could be dangerous, and it just... it made me feel stupid. I know you’re just looking out for me – I know that, but sometimes I just feel like this—like all I do is make mistakes, and hold you back, and you’re stuck taking care of me.”

“Natsu,” Gray said gently, pulling him closer.

“And you saying that it’s true, that I am too much sometimes—”

“That’s not—”

“Sorry, no, that’s not what I meant.” Natsu shook his head. “I just mean... you’re allowed to be overwhelmed, that’s not your fault.”

“It’s not your fault either.”

“I know that. But it’s still a lot for you. I just... I’m so, so scared that one day you’re gonna get sick of dealing with me. That everyone is. Like everyone has this invisible counter and I use up chances with them every time I fuck up, and when that counter runs out, they’re going to leave.”

“I’m never going to leave you,” Gray insisted.

Natsu swallowed, squeezing Gray’s hand. “Please don’t take this the wrong way,” he said softly, “but I don’t know if I’ll ever really be able to believe that.”

A pang of hurt twisted in Gray’s chest. “Natsu, I—”

“It’s not you,” Natsu said quickly. “But so many people have left me. Not just my dad, but everyone who was supposed to be there for me. And every time I got moved or sent somewhere else, they told me I was too much. Too much work, too much trouble, too much to deal with.”

“Oh, sweetheart,” Gray murmured, kissing the top of Natsu’s head.

“It’s why I stayed with Don,” Natsu said, running his fingers across the ring of circular scars across his right wrist. A flash of anger sparked through Gray as he recalled Natsu talking to his old social worker, telling her about how his foster father had held his arm down and burned him with the end of his cigarette as punishment for coming home late. “I was just tired of moving,” Natsu said softly. “I was tired of being too much. And then…” His gaze moved to his left arm, where the scars from the fire covered the one that had remained after he’d tried to take his life.

“I know,” Gray said, trying not to think of that terrifying day. “And I’m so sorry I brought that up – it wasn’t fair.”

“No, it’s okay,” Natsu said. “I think about it sometimes. How scared you must have been, finding me like that, and then you just… you took me in, let me stay, and you loved me, and…” His voice wavered and he touched his wedding band. “I’d never felt like that before. Being loved like that, I mean. You were the first person to tell me that you loved me since my dad.”

Gray wrapped both arms around Natsu and held him as tight as possible, fighting against the tears that were threatening to resurface again. “I do love you,” he whispered. “So, so much, and I’m never going to stop. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but there’s nothing you could do to drive me away. You’re the most important person in my life and I would be so lost without you.” 

~

Natsu sniffed, turning in Gray’s arms and pressing his face to Gray’s shoulder. He always felt safe here, felt loved and needed. The doubt only surfaced when they were apart; when Natsu was alone with his thoughts and his brain kept whispering: nobody needs you, nobody loves you, they’re all just tolerating you, one day they’re all going to leave.

“You saved my life, too,” Gray said, kissing Natsu’s forehead. The tiny gesture flooded through Natsu and he squeezed his eyes shut against the tears that welled up inside him. “All the good things I have are because of you, and I wouldn’t trade that for anything.”

Natsu took a shaky breath. “Really?”

“Really,” Gray said, running a hand up and down his arm. “I don’t think you’re broken, mon couer. You’re not damaged, or too much, and I wouldn’t love you more if you weren’t bipolar.”

Natsu couldn’t help the choked sob that broke out of him as relief started to push away the doubt. Gray made a soft, soothing sound and ran his fingers through Natsu’s hair, resting his cheek on the top of Natsu’s head.  

“It’s not your fault,” Gray said again, “and I’m sorry I made you feel that way.”

Natsu curled closer against Gray, rubbing at his face with his hoodie sleeve. The skin around his eyes ached from yesterday’s tears.

“I do feel overwhelmed sometimes,” Gray said. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m doing the right thing, or if I could be… better, or more supportive. It’s scary and frustrating to see you hurting, but I know you can’t change it. And I didn’t mean to keep any of that from you, I just felt like… you didn’t need to deal with that on top of how you were feeling. I know you’re scared I’m going to leave, and I didn’t want to make that worse.”

Shame and regret crept into Natsu’s cheeks as he thought about the angry words he’d shouted the night before. “I feel so stupid,” he said. “I hate being sick. I hate not knowing if my feelings are real, or just dumb chemicals in my brain not working the way they should. I hate that you get scared, I hate that I feel so fucking out of control sometimes.”

“I know,” Gray murmured. “And I’m sure me asking about your meds doesn’t help.”

Natsu thought about the pill container next to the stove, about the tiny pang of shame that ran through him some days when he swallowed them down. “It doesn’t,” he admitted, “but I get why you ask. I have been taking them, I promise, but… I dunno, maybe I need to see my psychiatrist again.” He groaned in frustration.

“That might not be a bad idea,” Gray said gently. “But I think this is more than just meds. The stuff with your dad, I mean.”

Natsu sighed. “Yeah,” he said. Then he reached down and pulled his phone from the pocket of his sweatpants, turning it on and opening the conversation with Neelan. The last message sat there like an accusation.

Do you want to meet?

He scrolled up until he found the picture he was looking for, then passed the phone to Gray. “That’s my mom,” he said quietly. “I’d never seen a picture of her before.”

Gray stared at the photo for a moment as he ran his thumb across Natsu’s shoulder. “She looks just like you,” he said eventually. “Can I look at the rest of them?”

Natsu nodded, watching as Gray slowly flipped through the other photos. He paused on the one of Neelan holding Natsu in the hospital.

“He loved me,” Natsu said softly as he stared at the picture. “And he seems so… normal. He keeps apologizing for leaving, but he still hasn’t said why, and I don’t know how to ask.”

Gray made a sympathetic noise, closing the photos and scrolling up through the messages. “Do you want to meet him?” he asked.

“I think so,” Natsu said. He braced himself for Gray to disagree, but Gray didn’t say anything. “Is that… okay?”

Gray set the phone down on the couch and moved to face Natsu, taking both of his hands and squeezing them. “It’s not my decision,” he said. “I don’t want to tell you what to do. I’m scared of what might happen, and you’re right, that’s on me and my trauma. I just want to be a part whatever you do. If you want to meet him, I’ll be here for you, okay?”

“Okay,” Natsu said, cheeks burning with shame. “I’m so sorry I lied to you.”

“I forgive you,” Gray said, bringing Natsu’s hands up and kissing them. “And I’m sorry for making you feel like I didn’t trust you.”

Natsu leaned in and pressed his forehead to Gray’s. “You’d think we’d know better after thirteen years,” he said, and was relieved when a small smile crept across Gray’s face.

“It’s because we’re both stubborn assholes,” Gray said. “I hate fighting.”

“Me too.” Natsu let go of one of Gray’s hands and touched his cheek, then leaned in slowly, sighing in relief when Gray tentatively kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Natsu kissed Gray again, then pulled back and brushed a few stray hairs out of his face. “Do you want to talk about Lyon?” he asked. Guilt still rested heavily in his chest at the thought of Gray, curled up against their bedroom wall and crying harder than he had in a long, long time.

“Not right now.” Gray picked at a hole in his sweatpants. “Can we shower? I feel gross.”

“Same,” Natsu said, pushing himself up off the couch and helping Gray up too. “Why don’t I text Sting and see if I can take the afternoon off; I don’t have any big jobs right now. Maybe we can go down to the beach, or go have lunch with Sylvie?”

Gray nodded, stepping forward and pulling Natsu into a tight hug. “That sounds nice.” He pressed his forehead to Natsu’s shoulder and yawned. “Can we take a nap first? I’m so tired.”

“Of course,” Natsu said, kissing Gray’s cheek and holding him close. “Whatever you need.” 

~

“I can’t believe you didn’t tell him.”

Sting’s voice was quiet, but Natsu could hear the frustration in it, even over the phone.

“I know,” Natsu said softly, glancing back at the bedroom where Gray was still sleeping. “I feel really shitty and stupid. We spent all morning talking about it, and we’re both exhausted.”

Sting made a quiet sound of sympathy. “It’s not busy here, don’t worry about coming in. Just...” He sighed. “You lied to me, too.”

Natsu groaned and slumped back against the couch. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“We all do dumb shit,” Sting said, voice softening. “I’m glad you talked to him, though. He’s just worried about you – that’s what husbands are supposed to do. Ryos drives me crazy when he gets on my case about my meds, too. But he’s not doing it because he doesn’t trust me, he’s doing it because the last time I had a seizure, I ended up with sixteen stitches and scared the shit out of Noah.”

Natsu nodded, remembering Sting falling from the ladder at work and the awful cracking sound when his head had hit the concrete floor of the shop.

“You’re right,” he said.

“Of course I am,” Sting said, and Natsu was relieved to hear the disappointment in his voice turning to gentle teasing. “Now go do something nice with your husband and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

~

Gray didn’t talk about Lyon until later that evening, when they were sitting on the beach near the pier and watching the sunset. Soft, pink light spilled across the waves, rippling as the tide washed through the sand and dragged it back out to sea.

“I miss him, sometimes,” Gray said. He was sitting between Natsu’s legs, back against his chest with Natsu’s arms wrapped around him.

“Lyon?”

“Mm.” Gray kicked off his flip-flops and dug his feet into the sand. “When Ultear said he was having this hearing, the first thing I felt was scared. But...” He trailed off, looking down at the bracelet around his wrist. Lyon had given it to him years ago, before their mom had died. “I don’t know if I’m angry or relieved,” Gray admitted after a minute. “Or both.”

“Would you want to see him? If he gets out on parole?”

Gray looked back out at the ocean and sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe? Is that weird?”

“I don’t think so. He’s your brother.”

“But he hurt me,” Gray said quietly. He reached up and touched his shoulder where the skin was white and scarred. “Why would I want to see him?”

“Because he loves you,” Natsu said. “And I know you love him.” Natsu kissed the top of Gray’s head, then took both hands in his, slipping their fingers together. “Your relationship with him is more than just the bad shit that happened. You have years of good memories with him before that, right?”

Gray shrugged. “I guess. I just... there was some part of me that thought he was gone forever, y’know? And I know parole is a thing, and he’s been there for a long time already, I had just kind of resigned myself to never seeing him again.”

“I know.”

The sun finally dipped below the horizon, leaving them in a soft darkness. Gray closed his eyes, tipping his head back against Natsu’s shoulder and cuddling closer to him.

“Ultear said I could write a Victim Impact Statement,” he said after a while. “For the hearing.” Natsu nodded. He had written one for Don’s trial, but his social worker, Richelle, had been the one to read it in court. “I did the first time,” Gray added. “When Lyon was sentenced. I didn’t go, Ultear read it for me. I don’t even remember what it said.” He sighed, keeping his eyes closed. “I just feel a whole bunch of different things and I hate all of them.”

Natsu pulled Gray closer and squeezed his hands. “You said you have an appointment with Victim Services on Friday?” he asked. Gray nodded. “What about going to see your therapist?”

Gray groaned. “I don’t want to,” he grumbled. “I hate therapy.”

“I know, Snowflake.” Natsu kissed his cheek. “Actually, I was thinking... what if we went to therapy together?” Gray opened his eyes and frowned at Natsu. “Don’t pout,” Natsu teased.

“’m not pouting,” Gray insisted. Natsu laughed and kissed his nose.

“You are a bit.”

Gray huffed, shuffling further back against Natsu.

“Freed and Laxus go to therapy together,” Natsu said after a minute. Gray raised an eyebrow. “Laxus was telling me about it the last time we were over there. Just ‘cause of all the shit with his dad, and stress and stuff. And Sting and Ryos go too, with Noah and without him. It’s not a bad thing.”

“I know,” Gray said, wishing that the idea of talking about his feelings with a stranger didn’t make him feel like throwing up. “You’re probably right.”

“You know I am.” Natsu shifted in the sand and moved his arms down around Gray’s waist. “I wish everything were easier,” he said, resting his chin on Gray’s shoulder. “I feel like a mess.”

“You are a mess,” Gray teased. “That’s why I love you. We’re both disasters and we always have been.”

Natsu laughed, nipping playfully at Gray’s ear. Gray elbowed him half-heartedly and he made an exaggerated sound of protest before kissing behind Gray’s ear instead. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” he asked, breath tickling Gray’s neck.

“Yeah,” Gray said, tipping his head to the side and catching Natsu’s lips in a soft kiss. “We’ll be okay. I promise.”

[sellingmysoulforbts]

You're having second thoughts about your career choice. BTS x Reader Reaction

Genre: mild angst, fluff. College AU. Gender neutral.

Warnings: strong language, self degradation.

as requested by @erraticsoul

A/N: I just wanna say that it is okay to change your career path. You're really young when you are forced to choose what you want to do for the rest of your life and we sometimes make mistakes. The most important thing is that you are happy.

Kim Seokjin

He was there for you, every single time you needed that extra support. This madness began when you started having trouble with some of the subjects that you had to take in college. Thoughts like 'how can I become a professional if I can't solve this simple exercise?' clouded your brain. Jin came on time only to find you crying over your homework.

"Tell me, how am I supposed to do this my entire life?"

"By giving your best, like I know you do, and if that's not enough then it's probably not what you should be doing" he would answer.

Then he proceeded to tell you one of his terrible jokes about the subject your having trouble with. Like if you weren't having it with chemistry he'd go "hey, are you made of copper and tellurium? 'Cause you're CuTe" and if that didn't work, he'd always come to you with a new plate he's made in class because he definitely a culinary arts major.

Min Yoongi

He was confused, like he didn't get how you felt at all. Since he was really young he new what his goals were and started working really hard to achieve them. You, on the other hand, have thought about every single career path, none of them seemed to completely fulfill you. Like you went from wanting to be a model to a rocket scientist in the span of two months, so you knew as soon as you filled that application form to enter college, with whatever career you had landed eyes on at the moment you weren't going to stick to it. Yoongi would try so hard to help you find something you like and would like doing for the rest of your life, just like he did.

"Okay, how about being a teacher?" He suggested one time.

"But I'll have to know the subject first, so what can I teach?"

"Never mind" he said.

He would just enroll you in a bunch of classes that have nothing to do with your current major, just to see if you'd like any of it.

Wanting to become a producer was his lifelong dream, the feeling he got every time he got a step closer was something Yoongi wanted you to experience as well, so he'd never give up on you.

Jung Hoseok

He would be the one to notice and call you out on it. Hobi was a dance major, so he had practice almost every day and you'd come, even if it was late or skip classes to see him. At first he didn't think much about it, and he appreciated the effort you were putting into the relationship, but then you stopped coming like once a week or just skipping a class to have lunch together and began coming like three times a week, and he would see you around campus with friends when he knew you had class.

"Hey, I saw you today walking out of campus" he said one day, after he was done with practice and you were still there.

"Oh, really? I didn't see you, I'd have said hi. At what time did you see me?"

"While you were supposed to be in class" he answered, trying not to sound mad.

"Yeah, the professor cancelled it last minute, so I didn't really have time to tell you" you genuinely thought he was jealous because you were hanging out with boys, but he wasn't. You'd you really be here so late if you were cheating on him? No, and he knew you would never, but he was concerned.

"And has he cancelled classes all week, and last one?" He inquired.

His tone gave away he was implying that you had been skipping class for the whole month.

"No" you answered softly.

"Is everything okay?"

"No" you answered again. He took your hands as a way to show you his support. "Why?" "I just don't feel happy anymore, like when I first got in I was so sure this was what I wanted and now I find it hard and I'm really stressed. I've been looking for other career options and I might change majors so I guess I lost interest and just stopped making an effort to pass" you shrugged, he kissed your hands.

"It's okay. We're still very young and I want you to do something that makes you happy"

Kim Namjoon

You. Felt. Dumb. You were having such a hard time in some classes, and not understanding anything your teacher said. At first you just worked a little harder and visited your professor to ask some questions, but seeing your classmates getting good grades or putting a minimum effort to understand, made you feel out of place and dumb, like actually stupid. Namjoon was an extremely intelligent human being, and that's no secret. He was an English major, and an outstanding student.

He was going to surprise you, you had been busy all week with schoolwork and he knew how hard you worked so he gave you your space, but it was Friday and he missed you like crazy. He didn't expect, when he walked into your apartment, to see you crying over your homework. Like actually balling your eyes out. Your brain was so chemically imbalanced at the moment that you barely felt arms wrapping around your sobbing form.

He managed to calm you down a little bit, and finally asked what's wrong.

"I can't do it Namjoon, I actually am incapable of doing it. I'm just a stupid piece of shit who can't even solve her homework. Why am I even trying at this point? I'm going to fail because my brain does not have the capacity to understand this subject" you basically yelled out and broke down crying again. He was so pained to see you like that and hearing that horrible things from your mouth broke his heart.

"Shh, don't say that baby, you are not dumb" "of course you'd say that, mister my IQ is 148, I only get As with minimum effort. I've being working on this thing for a week. A WEEK, and I can't do it. My teacher is sick of me for going every single day to ask him something." You were getting angry at this point, not with him but with yourself. Maybe throw in your parents as well for making you this way, but not at him, never at him, even though your words proved otherwise.

"Baby, look at me." He said. You shook your head embarrassed at your attitude.

He squatted right in front of you and took your face in his hands, dried your tears and smiled.

"You are not dumb, not because you have to work a little harder does it mean you're less capable of doing something. Besides, you're so far from stupid. When I look at you I see a wonderful human being, smart and kind, and that's what I love about you. Your perspective on the world, and your unique way of understanding things." He told with a sincere voice and that made you smile a little. "Also, I do put effort into my work but I like what I do so much that I doesn't feel like it, now tell me, do you like what you're doing?" He asked. " I don't know anymore" "okay how about this? Let's take a break right now, we go grab something to eat, we get back, cuddle, watch a movie. Just relax and not think about college for a while. And we can discuss this in the morning with a fresh mind."

Park Jimin

He was mostly sad, you didn't choose this for yourself, it was your parents dream. He would just try and comfort you, by hugging you and whispering words of encouragement. You were sad, angry and scared. You couldn't do what you wanted because your parents didn't support you but you also didn't want to disappoint them.

"I'm so sick of this Jimin, I don't think I can keep doing this." You said one day, you had to study for your upcoming tests but finding motivation was hard.

He couldn't fully comprehend your dilemma, his parents were super supportive.

"I know baby, but the semester is almost over."

"And then comes the next, and one after that, and on and on, not to mention the years ahead of me of working in this" you wanted to cry, just let out your frustration.

"Hey, how about, you start taking classes for what you really want, until you build up the courage to talk to them." He suggested. "I don't know I'm so scared." Your voice broke a little. His caring instincts kicking in immediately, so he hugged you. "It okay, I'm sure what they want is for you to be happy and have a safe future financially, that's why you're here, but you can prove to them that you'll succeed doing whatever you want, and I'm here to support you every step of the way. I believe in you, and besides I'm quite thankful to your parents for picking that for you or we might have never met."

"You're right" and with him by your side you had the motivation you needed.  

Kim Taehyung

It was hard, Tae, your boyfriend, always seemed to have more free time, and enjoy his college experience way more than you did. He was one of the few things you were grateful for, during your time in college. The little study dates you had were like the only way to get you to open a book, and they were a 2x1 deal for him. Taehyung was an art history student and it required to read a lot so he could do his school work and spend time with you. You weren't irresponsible or anything but you started to wonder if you chose your career right, because the lack of motivation was really dragging you down. You were in the coffee shop you usually went with Taehyung to study just contemplating how you wanted your life to look in ten years, when he came.

"Hey" he said. "Hi" you answered still a little distraught. "Did you order?" You nodded in response. "Is everything o-" he started but you soon interrupted him "how did you know what you wanted to study?" "well my school took us to a museum for a school trip once, and I was fascinated by the art, but also intrigued as to what led the painters to do such masterpieces and I guess I got hooked on that. Why?" "I'm just not sure with what I'm doing,I never had a revelation moment so I just went with what sounded the least unpleasant at the moment" "Well how about we finish here and we can go find some counselling for you?" "You think I should change majors?" "Baby, when was the last time you felt happy and satisfied with your work and what you learned?" He asked and you grew quiet at that. "Exactly. What you do for the rest of your life has to be something that you enjoy and you're clearly not enjoying this." So you did just that, found help to discover what makes you happy.

Jeon Jungkook

I mean he would be kinda disappointed that you didn't told him first thing and that he had to discover it for himself. You were thinking and rethinking if you had made the right choice, so you turned yourself into a little help from the internet, trying thing from quizzes all the way to astrological birth charts, of course when he wasn't around.

As you were spending the weekend together doing homework and watching movies, he stumbled upon a word he didn't quite know the meaning of. He was studying animation, and taking classes for film production, but he was trying to do some homework for an English class.

"Babe, can I use your phone real quick? Mine ran out of battery" he asked. "Sure, what for?" "I just want to Google this word" he said and have you that bunny smile, you handed him the phone unblocked, not worrying in the slightest. He got it,and quickly clicked on the  navigator, as he was about to type he peeked at your search history, things like 'how to choose your major', 'how do I know if I made the right decision','best careers based on your zodiac sign' that last one made him chuckle but he was generally preoccupied, because something was definitely wrong. He made a mental note to talk to you about it. Jungkook quickly made the research and completed his task. He then approached you, to give it back to you. You were just in the couch reading something, as he handed you the phone with a smile you sensed something off. "So, what's the best career for a virgo?" He wondered. It took a minute for it to click. "Kook…" you trailed of, not sure as to what to say. He sat down next to you. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" "I just- I was.. am so confused. I believe I chose what I did for a reason but now I'm not so sure and it been going on for a while. I guess I didn't want to bother you with stupid problems like that." You told him. He just shook his head. "That's why I am your boyfriend, so you can come to me with whatever is bothering you and we can fix it together cause we're a team, and it works the other way around too." "You're right, sorry" "It's okay, but promise me you will from now on" " I will, I promise" you smiled at him and he answered back "now that that's out of the way, let's find your perfect major" and with a kiss on your cheek, you then proceed to go through a lot of lists and quizzes a lot of websites suggested, together.

~~

a/n: I’m so sorry this took so long but the scenario really hit home and I got distracted, anyways i hope you enjoy it and like it. 

gifs not mine

[hungry4apples]

Just a Chemical Reaction

Is there any truth to Rick’s scathing words? A peek into Rick’s past life with Beth’s mother. (fluff/angst; mostly pre-canon)

Ch 2: You

I thought of you. I haven’t for years. Or maybe I have, drowning any memory of you with the click of a beer can tab. Always at the back of my mind. Stupid, arrogant, stick-up-your-ass, cold-hearted bitch, you.

 FF.net / Ao3

Words: ~1K

Rating; T+

I had long-since relinquished any romantic notions of a prison cell, a clichéd hum of a harmonica, a tally chart engraved into the walls, a shiv made of a sharpened spoon. Instead of orange I wore green, instead of a cell I’d been graced with an agonizing lack of circulation in my limbs from being strapped to the wall, like an action figure in a box. They woke me at odd hours for their interrogation sessions, stabbing their probes into my brain, getting freaky with my hippocampus.

Memories flickered by. Old ones that lay dormant for years—and should’ve stayed that way—coming back to life only now in this space-age torture chamber, sober and suffering from withdrawal symptoms. The old house, generic and humourless, standing there at the curb of the cul-de-sac and reminding me too much of the place I grew up in. Running past the car decorated in streamers, cans on strings and JUST MARRIED spray paint and climbing into the UFO parked next to it instead. The past became closer, almost tangible, while the present stretched far into the distance.

I thought of you.

I haven’t for years. Or maybe I have, drowning any memory of you with the click of a beer can tab. Always at the back of my mind.

Stupid, arrogant, stick-up-your-ass, cold-hearted bitch, you.

In the end, you and I barely spoke. If at all, it was through Beth.

By the counter, you’d dip your teabag into your mug with a precise tedium that had become a nuisance to me. The mind-boggling exactitude of everything you did, your words, your movements. Once exciting when we were teenagers, ping-ponging come-backs as we played hooky, had evolved into a minefield, one misstep away from divorce at any moment. 

‘Beth’s mathletes tournament is today,’ you said by the sink without moving your gaze from the driveway.

It was breakfast, for me at least, lunch for you. I shuffled around to get my cereal. Wordlessly, you moved to get out of my way, but I could still feel the weight in the air, the expectation of an answer. I opened the fridge, sniffed the orange juice carton and grimaced.

‘This’s gone bad.’  

‘She’s worked really hard for this, you know.’ Your grip tightened around the mug.

‘Mmmhmm.’ I slurped on my spoonfuls of Cherrios, singling out the ones that haven’t gone soggy yet.

Your mug slammed against the countertop tile. The door shut. You left me alone with my cereal.

I never relished being Beth’s idol as much as you thought I did. The pressure, frankly, I could’ve done without.

Beth never asked me to attend her mathletes game, her soccer games, her dumb kiddy theatre productions when all she did was stand at the back with a crayon tree taped over her shoulders. And the thing about me is: if you never ask, I never answer. Simple. People should know better.

These days it was rare that we ever crossed paths before she left for school. One day she did, sporting a Walkman at her hip, obnoxiously neon spongy headphones wrapped around her hair. If she did this every morning, I’d have no idea. I knew, though, that this was the kind of thing that would normally trigger a lecture in you, but when you saw Beth, you were silent. So, this was normal.

‘You have drool on your lip,’ was all she greeted me with as she passed me by for her Pop Tart. Meanwhile, you stood off to the side, leaning against the counter in your work clothes, cradling a coffee mug. Looking down at me from afar.

You had turned her against me. That’s the mantra of every divorced-father-to-be, isn’t it? Though if I’m being honest, I don’t know who turned who against who. I watched as Beth sat across from me, looking like she’d rather be anywhere else, not talking to either of us. I remembered how she used to run into my arms at every chance she got, the sight of me so rare and precious to her. Here, over a decade later, she picked at her Pop Tart, reluctantly eating it crumb by crumb. Every now and then she’d steal a glance up at me, a distant look in her eyes as she took me in. Her father, she probably thought. What a bizarre loser he was. Her father who would soon abandon her twice more than he already had. She looked away.

I cleared my throat. ‘H-hey Beth.’ She didn’t look up. ‘Wanna hear a j-o-oke?’

She stayed silent, unmoving, but I took the fact that she didn’t make to get up or leave as encouragement. ‘When you go to the bathroom, you’re American. When you leave the bathroom, you’re American.’ She didn’t say anything but seemed attentive. ‘What are you when you’re in the bathroom?’

‘What?’ I ignored the bored scepticism in her voice.

‘EUROPEAN!’

Beth frowned but after a moment, as if mulling it over in her head, let out a loud, clumsy guffaw. Her gangly adolescent limbs moved about as she laughed, putting a hand to her mouth as she tried to cover the mess of crumbs.

Maybe it was just nervous laughter, releasing some pent-up tension, maybe she was humouring me. Faking it. It wasn’t my best, really. I’d heard it from some robot on G-87, left the bar thinking it was hilarious, but it was probably meagre at best to sober ears. But I’d made Beth happy. For whatever reason, she was happy again. I didn’t want overthink it, so I didn’t and I went on, ‘Y’see because, you’re peeing… and European…’ 

‘Yeah, yeah,’ said Beth still chuckling, but slowly catching her breath.

‘Yeah, it’s-it’s a play on words, see—’

‘Yes, Dad. I got it.’

 You did your best to stand still, stay quiet but when I dared sneak a glance in your direction, I noticed your lips curled, small wrinkles formed around your eyes. I had almost forgotten your smile. But it had vanished as soon as it came. You looked down at your watch. Laughter had ground to a halt. Weighed down by silence. Beth swallowed, then looked down at her wrist, picking at some scab I’d never noticed. The memories returned, the ones that reminded us why this was, why it didn’t happen anymore. 

‘Beth, we should get going,’ you said ushering our daughter away from me like I was a wild zoo animal. Beth, for her part, acknowledged me even less, replacing the headphones to her ears and pressing the volume button until I could faintly hear the Smashing Pumpkins from where I still sat with my sunny side ups. The two of you walked out the door, off to school, to work. I was left alone again.

Our little trio, each sequestered to their own heads.

 It was the middle of the night for you, early evening for me. I’d come to a decision. 

This was as lucid as I’d felt in years and yet I could already feel you deriding me for being tipsy. Funny how I was preparing for an argument, though if my plan were to follow through, there wouldn’t be one. 

‘Watcha doing?’ Your tone was deceptively chipper. Your silhouette in the doorway made me jump, though I was quick to hide it. I must not have been quiet enough, haphazardly stuffing the UFO to the brim, the clanks of metal on metal echoing up to your bedroom where you practised a conventional circadian rhythm.  

‘Was just about to head out for some ice cream.’ I couldn’t tell whether my unoriginality was a deliberate irony; an inside joke so pretentious even the insiders didn’t understand, or a sincere ineptitude when it came to lying to you. 

You cocked your head, ‘It’s a little late for that, isn’t it?’ I shrugged. The ruse was pointless. ‘I have something else in mind.’ I acquiesced to trail behind you, still planning to carry on once you’d fallen asleep.

You were quiet as you led me to our rooftop, decorated with two lawn chairs and a cooler. This isn’t what I’d expected. With Beth off to camp, I knew this would’ve been the perfect occasion to get it out of your system, a few scathing remarks there, a scream here, but you were calm, in a way that almost felt genuine were it not tinged with weariness. 

The setting was more romantic than either of us had dared to venture since high school. The cooler full of beer was a surprise, you’d long-since stopped drinking with me when it became obvious I couldn’t hold my liquor. As we sat down on those ungodly uncomfortable chairs, I felt a wave of nostalgia for when we first moved here. Sipping on Coke on the lawn, running through the sprinklers, getting kicked out of the theatre because our sarcasm was too loud, when you’d still humour an escapade through intergalactic customs, when we still joked about whether Gear Heads called them doctors or engineers. Life was lighter then.

You leaned into the cooler to fetch two beers, offering one to me. Facing the moon, you pulled the tab and tipped the can to your lips. You swallowed. We sat as the cicadas chirped, until finally you spoke.

‘We aren’t enough for you.’ “We” was you and Beth, I remember when it was you and me. You left no room for disagreement, you didn’t need to. It wasn’t like you to shatter the bubble of illusion we’d created, tended to lovingly like a second child. Not even a trace of performative anger. Just resignation. Sadness. I could only stare, unopened can in my hands. You turned to me with a pained look. ‘Why?’

You were uncharacteristically candid, and so I returned the favour. ‘I dunno.’

‘What’s out there that you won’t give up on, too?’

‘I don’t know.’ I said it a little quicker, impatient. Irritated that my motives were so transparent to you. But you were right.

We stayed there for hours, enjoying the novelty of getting drunk together again, though we both knew it was also the last time. And for a while, I didn’t think of returning to the garage.

When next we spoke, it wasn’t so light-hearted. Tension thickened the air. I looked up to find you standing a good few feet away from me, at arms’ length. Your devil-may-care smirk, your annoyed “Oh what’s Rick done this time” sigh of frustration were gone. Brows furrowed, pupils small as pins, you were holding your breath, scared. I sat there and wondered, if for once, I should take something seriously. But there was no point.

We were strangers. You’d found out one thing too many about what I did without you. You had morals and I didn’t. You were good and I wasn’t.

It was only a few million. A civilisation so far from here most humans didn’t have a concept of what they looked like. Not like you knew them personally enough to mourn. Your lips tightened. You looked like you wanted to run away from me and I turned my back to you. It wasn’t about what we did say anymore, all about what we didn’t. 

Screw that shit.

The second time, I told myself, I’d be quiet. But it didn’t matter. You weren’t home to hear me back out of the driveway. I’d awoken one afternoon to an empty house. A vindictive part of me wanted to wait, wanted to see the hesitation in your posture. Wanted the chance to hear you call after me.

But you’d made your decision, and I mine.