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aphrodite-made-me-write-it · 4 years

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Revelations: XIV

Part Two: Steep to the Freezing

(A/N) hey hey, ho ho, im off tomorrow because of snow! anyway, I’m still working on requests. Sorry I’m slow, I think I’m just a perfectionist. I love all of you sm. and google docs is being an ass so i had to copy everything word for word here so if there’s spelling mistakes, its because i am anger. I have over 40 pages of this bitch and i legit have to just. copy them onto tumblr dot com like a savage. guess i could always make a new doc but jfc can my low attention span handle it? anyway happy sungay, please pay patronage to ur local sapphic goddess by gaying over at least one woman today. This chapter is short bc it’s kind of a filler chapter but the next one has fun, sexy fighting xoxo

♫ ♫ ♫

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Hella flashbacks this round; Graphic Depictions of Death Bro, like fr fr i’m not kidding this time; I put most of the warnings in CH1 so they’re mostly the same.

Pairing: Diana Prince / Wonder Woman x F! Reader

Chapter Word Count: 4,815

Total Word Count (so far): 15,110

Synopsis (of this chapter): Pieces of the past slowly fall into place; you’re starting to feel some real confusing emotions about Diana; you meet Diana’s Goth Himbo friend.

| I | II | III | IV | more coming soon |

ma’am who gave you the RIGHT

"She's clearly a metahuman," Bruce drawls, as if the information may as well have been exposed on a neon sign above your head. You'd think a guy so rich would be cheerful, but Bruce Wayne is anything but. The guy is practically the poster-child for brooding, despite being a fully grown man. "But she's definitely... weird."

"Gee, thanks," you gripe sarcastically.

"I'd need a DNA sample to-"

"No!" It comes out unbidden, harsher than youv'e spoken before. It makes Diana and Bruce look at you with blatant surprise. Your heart is hammering in your ears, a wardrum to the tremble in your bones. A fear so sharp, so natural, they may as well have been threatening to cut you open without anesthetic.

You aren't quite sure what caused the gut-reaction. It was so sudden, it surprised you as much as it had them. It's a feeling so intense, so immediate, it's indisputable. A repulsion that makes your entire body want to curl into itself - so tight into a coil that you turn into nothing.

Diana places a hand on your shoulder; the action is so natural, so instinctive, neither of you really register it. "That doesn't seem to be an option," she informs Bruce with a tone that leaves little room for argument.

Bruce sighs. "Well, do you at least know what the facility was called, or who ran it?"

You pause, thinking hard despite the panic that had scrambled your thoughts into incoherency just moments ago. The fear is still gripping your chest, but with Diana beside you literally expelling support, it's a little bit easier to sort through the mess. "I think... I think I saw, 'A-R-C' a few times."

"ARC?" Bruce repeats, a scowl taking place over his features.

"You've heard of them?" Diana inquires curiously.

"I have..." Bruce confirms, scratching the back of his neck nervously. "Well, they're listed as a DNA research facility, but a few tabloids-"

"I thought you hated tabloids?" Diana chuckles.

"I do, but" he clears his throat, "when tabloids talk about things like the CEO going on tangents about angels and demons being on Earth? I consider myself a little bit invested."

"And you know the CEO?"

"Not personally, no," Bruce shakes his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. "But I know his name. Doctor Phillip Richman. He's got very little documentation outside of his doctorate - a practical ghost in the system."

You think Diana asks something like, "How is that possible?" but your mind is suddenly disconnected. It's like the name has broken through something in your mind, flooding it with memories that don't quite feel like your own. As if you were watching them from afar.

- - - -

"Oh, little one," the man kneels down until he's eye-level. The October air has brought an early chill of the oncoming winter, meaning your thin clothes provide little protection against the wind-chill. Your skin is red and raw from it; cracking in some places, bleeding in others. "You're all alone out here?"

Shyly, you nod. You are alone, yes. You always have been.

"Don't you have a mommy and a daddy?" He asks, something like concern in his voice. Even this young, it sounds off; like he's trying to make himself sound empathetic, but there's something else hidden far behind his words.

There's an intensity in his eyes. Something hungry that, honestly, scares you at first, but you've never experienced such kindness from a stranger before. "No," your tiny voice is just a squeak, tightened by the chill and by the emotion that's suddenly gripped you.

The man nods, seemingly thoughtful for a moment. As a child, you can't help feeling special when a grownup talks to you - especially when you've had so few be as kind to you as this stranger is.

"My name is Doctor Richman," he introduces slowly. "I help little boys and girls like you all the time." He holds his hand out for a shake, like you're a grownup too, so you take it without hesitation.

"I'm (Y/N)."

"Well, (Y/N)," Doctor Richman stands, but doesn't release your hand. "How would you like to come be my very own assistant?"

"You're going to take me home?" It's achingly disbelieving. Eager to escape a life on the streets, this man’s every word is something to take as seriously and literally as Gospel.

“I am,” he confirms, a smile on his face once more. It’s bright, deceivingly so - as if you’d make his entire world by saying yes.

As a seven year old, such a smile is enough to make the worries evaporate. This is a stranger, yes, but he is offering you a life better than you’d ever experience like this. Your ‘yes’ is easy, but that doesn’t mean it’s not regrettable.

- - - -

Someone is calling your name. Reality finds its way to you with a harsh rush, your hand clutching Diana’s like an anchor. You’re trembling, breathing erratic.

“What happened?” Diana asks worriedly.

“I-” your throat tightens. “That was him. He- I was-” you’re struggling to speak and breathe at the same time. The emotions are so confusing, so overwhelming, that your abilities to think and speak halt entirely.

“Breathe, darling, breathe,” Diana urges, her fingers combing through your hair with one hand and the other squeezing you gently. You feel her concern as sharp as a knife.

“I was... I was just a kid when he- when-” you explain meekly, shame washing through you. How could you have been so stupid? Don’t all kids have that natural sense of stranger danger? “Oh, god- I just let him take me...”

“I assume, then,” Bruce speaks up, interrupting your spiraling and reminding you suddenly of his presence. “‘AOC’ could be ‘Age of Capture’.”

You wince, stomach turning. “I was so stupid-”

“No,” Diana interrupts sharply. “You are not stupid. You were a child. Seven years old. You could not have known better. You should never blame yourself for the trauma that was forced upon you.”

“Diana is right,” Bruce affirms, though consoling doesn’t appear to be his strongsuit. He’s trying, at least, and that you can appreciate. “And that means that if you were filed as missing, we could locate some relatives of yours.”

You look down at your hands, forcing your fingers to loosen from Diana’s just a bit. She hadn’t complained about your unusual strength, but you still felt bad for somewhat crushing them. “I don’t think so,” you say quietly. “I didn’t... I didn’t have parents. I don’t even know my last name.”

Diana’s heart breaks; you feel it through your empathic bond in a violent wave. There’s a tenderness, too, in the way she curls her fingers in your hair, that keeps you from speaking out about not needing her sympathy. You sink into the feeling of her, a moth drawn to a flame.

“I understand,” Bruce’s tone takes on a surprisingly genuine softness. “I’ll see what I can do. maybe contact Victor for this one.”

“Let me know,” Diana implores gently. Bruce nods and stands with a sigh.

“See you soon, ladies,” he nods curtly and makes for the door.

Long after he leaves, Diana fixes you with a cautious expression. “Are you alright?”

You nod numbly. Diana, naturally, does not buy it. She doesn’t even need your powers to see right through you.

“Come on,” she pulls you to the couch in her living room. You sit down reluctantly, nervous of the close proximity of her. “You’ve told me a lot about what’s happened to you,” Diana begins slowly, “but you haven’t said a word about how you feel.”

You gape at her. “I- how I-?”

“Friends hare things with each other, like feelings,” Diana explains, that smile on her lips that could honestly make you do (and admit to) anything.

You open your mouth, then shut it. You aren’t sure how you feel, to be honest. It’s impossible to articulate. If only you could just show her....

Wait. Maybe... maybe you can?

It’s one of those things that feels natural, much like flying; as if you’d done it so many times that the action is second-nature. Something as obvious as the fact that, just a day ago, you’d been dead. You reach out and offer your hand, palm facing up.

“Can I just show you?” You ask timidly.

Diana eyes your hand skeptically. “Will this be like what you feel in others?”

You shrug. “No idea. Probably.”

Diana, in that split moment, decides it’s worth a shot and takes your hand. You close your eyes as the rush of energy floods your whole being. It’s like a dam has split apart, your powers frighteningly out of your control. Rivers connecting, becoming singular. Each emotion is passed between you, slowly, purposeful. You try to convey the fear you have; that not knowing is the worst part about all of this. The way your body - and mind - seem to know things that you don’t. Your very own body is the enemy.

Diana inhales sharply, shock reverberating through the bond. This is how you see me?

You nearly jump back at the way the thought transfers to your mind. How did you do that?

You’re doing it, too. You can imagine the smile on her face, but her image in front of you is blurred by whatever it is that’s passing between the both of you. as if some switch had been flipped, each emotion is passed between you wordlessly, seamlessly, purposefully.

Diana jolts back abruptly, the lack of contact feeling like cold, bitter winter. you open your eyes to find that she’s looking away tearfully.

“I’m sorry,” you fold your hands in your lap, focusing hard on the way your fingers lock together. “I thought it would be easier to...”

“It was,” she confirms, clearing her throat and wiping at her eyes. “I apologize, I just- it was very beautiful.” Her smile is genuine, brilliant, beautiful. “Thank you for showing me.”

“But you’re crying.”

“They’re happy tears.” She explains. “That’s all.”

Do eyes have so much fluid that they simply must leak for every emotion?

- - - -

“Where will you sleep?” You frown when Diana leads you back to her bedroom. She’d meant to go shopping after Bruce had left, but you’d seemed so shaken up and honestly what you’d shown her left Diana a bit rattled herself. So, she opted for staying inside with you - at least for the rest of today.

“My couch is comfortable,” Diana assures, but you shake your head.

“I don’t want to kick you out of your own bed, Diana.”

“What do you suggest, then? Would you like to share?” It’s a bit teasing, but you immediately nod.

“Better than you hurting your back, and you obviously won’t let me sleep on the couch, so...” You cross your arms, giving her an expectant smile.

Diana tosses her hair over her shoulder with a throaty chuckle. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Great,” you uncross your arms and bounce a bit in place. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept alone before, anyway.”

“Oh, really?” The teasing edge of her voice makes you blush.

“I mean- I think... well, it was a large place... I wasn’t the only one there, clearly.” You cough awkwardly. “And... you make me feel safe.”

How could Diana possibly say no to that?

You still aren’t used to how nice her bed is. The softness of it, the warmth. You curl into it with a sigh, the blanket deliciously cozy. Diana lays on the other side of the bed, watching you with a dazed expression.

Once you’re finally settled in, and you catch onto her watching, you ask, “What?”

“Nothing,” Diana’s soft smile makes your body thrum. “Nothing at all.”

- - - -

She comes in spring, when life around the facility is flourishing. The woods surrounding the area are teeming with wildlife, all of which are perfect subjects for experimentation. You hated hurting the animals, but if you didn’t obey, they would do far worse to you.

You can tell, instantly, that she is unlike the others. Most kids they bring in have the same emptiness to them. From years on the streets, years with abusive families, mostly everyone comes here just a little broken.

Not her.

She’s a spitfire of a girl, spewing curse words you’ve never even heard before as she twists in the iron grip of the guards. Maybe it’s the dark waves of her hair or the piercing blue of her eyes that catches your attention, but the moment she has it, you know at once that she will never lose it.

Her anger rolls off of her in waves, cataclysmic. She is a walking hurricane, but you’re inevitably drawn to this disaster. You introduce yourself, that first day, but she ignores you. For days, no matter how hard you try, she doesn’t so much as spare you a glance when you’re in the mess hall or recreational rooms.

It isn’t until she returns from one of the experiments, looking shaken and lost, that she finally lets you sit beside her. She lingered on the edges of the training room, back against the wall. You told her of how you’d come here, how it might seem bad but it isn’t always terrible. She doesn’t share that opinion, of course, but your presence eases the pain, after some time; you feel happier, too, as hours bleed into days into weeks into months. Less like you’re just taking it day by day, surviving, and more like you’re actually alive.

“One day,” she promises, “we’re gonna get out of here, and I”m gonna show you the world.”

And you believe her.

- - - -

Diana wakes to your body shaking in silent, wracking sobs. You’re at the very edge of the bed, as if putting space between you and Diana would compensate for your inability to sleep or calm down. It’s obvious that you’re trying to hold back on the emotions spilling from you, but it’s equally obvious that it isn’t working.

The brunette turns over, reaches out silently before hesitating slightly. She doesn’t want to make this worse for you, doesn’t want to cross whatever boundaries lay in the empty sheets between you. Instead, the idea of reaching out with a feeling comes into her mind. Could she focus so hard one a singular emotion that it would pull you out of this? There’s no harm in trying, she supposes.

It works; her concern and patience burst through the dark waters that had taken over your mind. A hand reaching, grasping, pulling - you breach through the surface, gasping for air. You turn over to face her, eyes wide and cheeks wet with tears.

Diana doesn’t even think twice before opening her arms invitingly. The question isn’t so much asked, as it is felt, and you wiggle into them with little hesitation. You curl into her embrace, letting the spring of her presence melt away the bitter winter of your terror. She begins to rub slow, soothing circles on your back, not speaking a single word.

She won’t ask, and you know she won’t despite the curiosity burning within her.

“How can I be so sad,” you ask in a hoarse, broken voice, “over something I didn’t even know I’ve lost?”

Diana’s spirit seems to mirror the sentiment; pain reverberating off of her. “Loss is loss, I’m afraid.” She answers wisely, her own heart clenching.

“When will it stop hurting?”

“When you are able to let go.”

You bury yourself in her shoulder, hearing the distant thundering of her own heartbeat. It’s so fast - is she alright? You attempt to search for the answer, but a yawn makes you lose concentration.

“Is this okay?” You inquire sleepily.

“Of course it is,” Diana hums, sounding a bit tired herself.

You sigh, wrapping one of your own arms around Diana’s waist. She’s so pretty and soft. Why is she letting you do this? Why is she so kind? There’s something familiar about this feeling, something so, so important it almost keeps you up. Sleep conquers all, in the end, coming all too easily in the arms of this gorgeous woman who saved your life.

- - - -

Diana had left you alone in her apartment while she found you some proper clothes. “I can’t keeping calling out of work,” she’d said, “and you can’t hide in here forever. You have to experience the world!”

The idea of it is daunting, admittedly. you’ve felt somewhat cooped up in here, but not in the way you felt trapped in the Facility. That place had felt wrong, more of a prison than whatever it was meant to be. Being in Diana’s apartment, though, felt like safety. You feel nothing short of content to remain here, so long as Diana is with you.

But now that she isn’t, you feel sort of... lonely. You keep looking at the clock to see how long she’s been gone. Half an hour gone already, and she’d said it would be two hours. Piece of cake.

The city beyond the windows is a wide landscape, a vast maze ready to explore. You imagine experiencing life out there, wondering what normal people are like and how you’re going to pretend you’ve been walking among them your whole life rather than experimented on like a lab rat.

With no memories, you’re suddenly itching to make some new ones. The mindless television doesn’t help much; after she’d taught you how to use Netflix, you’ve spent too much time watching action movies where the heroes always win and the bad guys go away forever - or, at least, until the sequel.

Approaching the hour-and-a-half mark without Diana, you start to zone out. Something happens on the TV, but you aren’t exactly sure what it was. The memories crawl from the shadows, as always, when you least expect them.

- - - -

“Please, don’t do this!” You beg, struggling against your restraints. The tank surrounding your head lets out a low hum, water beginning to spill out of the tubes on either side. It rises quickly to your chin. “Please, please, please-”

“Relax, D-14. You’re one of our best. You should handle this test no problem.” The nurse assures, the water quickly rising past your lips. You try to adjust your head to avoid the inevitable, but it’s useless. “You’ve survived every other.”

It isn’t quick, and it isn’t painless. It hurts, it burns, your lungs ache. And then, there is nothing.

When you open your eyes again, it is to a dark world far from the one you’d just left. You take slow, deliberate steps down an invisible path that calls to you. Your bare feet find it without thought, the sound of water echoing around you like a cave. You see no others, but you can feel them. There is pain, and there is suffering, but there are others.

Darkness. It’s the darkness that scares you most. There are creatures there, waiting, watching. If you step off the path, they will surely devour you.

Out of nowhere, you see a woman up ahead. She wears a beautiful white gown, golden wings folded against her back. Her skin is smooth and dark, amber eyes full of mirth when they meet yours. A merciful smile pulls at her lips as she reaches for you, fingers touching your cheek with the tenderness of a mother.

“It isn’t your time,” she says, but her mouth doesn’t move. Even so, the words reverberate into the vast nothingness all around you.

“I can’t go back there,” you rasp. “Please-”

“You are more important than you know,” the woman frowns, the expression looking incredibly out of place on her delicate features. Silver hair spills over her shoulder as she tilts her head sympathetically.

How can I be important if he keeps killing me?”

“You,” her hand falls to your shoulder, squeezing it softly. “You are unlike the others. He does not know what he is toying with, what cards of fate he is pulling for himself.” She pauses. “And he does not know who you are.”

“Who am I?”

Her smile widens. “You will know, one day. But today is not your time.”

She leans forward to plant a kiss on your forehead. Once more, you’re blurring through realities - crossing boundaries that feel both familiar and foreign.

You wake up to the water draining, your lungs burning as you sputter for air. The machine is humming again, but you pay it no mind. Everything is removed slowly, piece by piece.

“Alright, D-14,” the nurse picks up a clipboard, flips it to the first empty page. “State your name, your age, and what you witnessed ADE.”

- - - -

Diana finds you curled into a ball, one of the blankets she’d left on the sofa for you wrapped tightly around your body. You look so achingly small, she nearly drops the bags to run to you. She sets them down as gently as she can manage, locking the door before slowly approaching you. She walks with cautious purpose, as if you were a wild animal on the verge of running.

You didn’t hear her enter, but your attention hones in on her presence when she lays a hesitant hand on your arm. You uncurl yourself to face her.

“What’s wrong, sweet one?” She asks softly.

You shake your head, avoiding her gaze. “Nothing.”

“You are an awful liar.” Diana notes, sitting down on the floor so that she can meet your eyes. “Come on, spit it out.”

“I died before, too,” you whisper. “A lot of times, I think.”

Diana’s fear spikes between you. “What?”

“I think... I think that’s what ARC does. It kills people... and brings them back.”

Disgust and fury radiate from Diana in a headed flame. “Why would they do that?” She demands, unable to hide the raw anger from her tone.

You shrug, but the action is sort of jerky when you’re still laying on one side. “I don’t know,” you admit quietly. “But I think it’s why I’m... y’know,” you gesture vaguely to your body. “Like this.” Powers that had seemed like a blessing, ones that you enjoyed using, suddenly feel... wrong. A great burden forced onto your shoulders.

“Do you think that’s how you died the last time?” Diana asks, hand drifting down to your own. You let her toy with your fingers, reveling in the unidentifiably tender emotion that flows from the contact.

“I don’t think so,” you say at last, shaking your head. “I don’t- I don’t think they meant for that to happen.” You sit up slowly, exhaling a shuddering breath. “I don’t think I was supposed to come back. I have to show you something, but- just- don’t, uh, freak out, okay?”

Diana frowns skeptically, moving to join you on the sofa now that you’ve given her the room to do so. You turn away from her and carefully ease down a shoulder of the gown she’d given you. You hear her soft inhale, feel a spark of something heated igniting within her not unlike the prior softness, but she quells it as you reveal your upper back.

Where your wings would join is a vicious looking scar. With a jolt, Diana realizes it’s the entry point of the one on your chest. It looks oddly like a compass, the center of it being where the bullet must have entered. Diana reaches out to it, in awe of the way it seems branded into your skin. The scarred tissue isn’t raised, as most would be of such severity. It’s smooth to the touch, shiny, as if were some kind of eternal symbol of your unintended survival.

You look over your shoulder at her, suddenly dazed by the gentleness of her touch. There’s that heated something again, an emotion that makes you want to squirm under Diana’s dark gaze. Her plump lips are pursed thoughtfully, fingertips just barely brushing the sensitive skin of your scar. You’ve felt this heat before, this... want. You just can’t remember when or where or whom, but you know this feeling.

Your lips part, your body slowly facing Diana’s once again. The scar on your chest looks like the sun, also embedded in your skin as if to forever remind you of your damnation to this world. You think her eyes dart downward, but you aren’t sure if it’s at your scar or something else.. “Diana-”

A knock at the door makes the both of you leap apart. You both wear incredibly guilty expressions, though you aren’t really sure why. You adjust the gown again before standing and taking the bags Diana had brought home while she answers the door.

“Bruce, hi!” She greets, sounding a bit strained.

“Did I... interrupt something?” Bruce inquires as you scurry to the bedroom.

You don’t hear the conversation, but you feel Bruce’s amusement and Diana’s embarrassment echo through the halls. You aren’t sure where to put the bags, so you just carefully set them down by teh door and return to the living room with flushed cheeks.

“Well, Vic pulled through. We infiltrated part of ARC’s computer systems, but a lot of it is encrypted. He’s still working on it,” Bruce explains, clearing his throat to clear the tension between him and Diana, who is glaring at him as if looks could kill.

“What did you find out?” You ask timidly, unsure of why you feel like you’re on the edge of something dangerous.

“ARC researches near death experiences,” Bruce follows you and Diana to the seating area; Diana sits close enough to you that you can reach out if you need to, and Bruce takes one of the free armchairs. “According to their data, thirty percent of those killed in controlled environments gain unique, superhuman abilities. Most of them can talk to the dead, or otherwise contact the ‘other side’ if you want to believe that.” Judging by his tone, Bruce does not. “And less than two percent of that thirty percent gain what Richman calls the ‘Seraph Gene’.”

“G-giraffe gene?” You mutter, confused. Diana hides her snort with a polite cough while Bruce groans.

“Seraph Gene. Angels.” He huffs. “Vic is working on those files now, seeing as that’s likely where your information will be, but it’s not easy.”

“So, you really are an angel?” Diana grins, trying to make light of the situation.

“I wouldn’t count on that,” Bruce hums thoughtfully. “Richman is looking for the Ideal Angel. One that’s immortal with healing capabilities. She’s got the wings, sure, but she’s not like you, Diana.”

“We don’t know that,” Diana points out. “She still doesn’t know all of her powers, and she didn’t die in a controlled environment the last time.”

Bruce rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue. “Well, I wanted to give you an update on that.” He stands, then pauses. “Oh, and another thing: they’re looking for her. They’re combing surrounding cities as we speak. Whatever she is, she’s important to them.”

The fear that tears through you is only doubled by Diana’s. Her hand finds yours, the only thing keeping you from outright spiraling, a determined scowl on her face. “Let them come. They won’t lay a finger on her.”

Bruce raises his hands in surrender. “I just wanted to warn you. If we need to get the League together for this-”

“Yes, that is a wonderful idea. We absolutely should.”

Something tells you that, by the sag in his shoulders, Bruce isn’t accustomed to working with others. He probably hates it, and that’s not surprising from your very few interactions. “Alright, I’ll keep you posted, then. Be careful, you two.” He gives Diana a meaningful look that makes her cheeks erupt in a deep blush. For some reason, this annoys you - which is very unusual, because under any other circumstances, you’d love to see Diana blush.

Bruce leaves you and Diana in aching silence. You keep looking at her like you’re expecting her to explode, but she seems lost in thought. You give her hand a squeeze, pulling her back to the present.

“Those scars...” Diana begins slowly, quietly.

“The last time I died wasn’t controlled. They didn’t think I’d come back at all.” There’s a raw edge of sadness in your voice.

“That must be why they are after you,” Diana nods, squeezing your hand tighter. “Whatever brought you back, must be what Doctor Richman is looking for.”

The thought makes you shudder. Not only from fear, but from anger. A surge of fierce protection and loyalty to whatever it was that brought you back. “They can’t have it,” you growl in a tone very much unlike your own.

“We’ll never let them.” Diana agrees solemnly.

- - - - (Next Chapter) - - - -

Tags! (almost forgot aaa) @nobody13 ❤ @fireflyglass ❤ @swords-are-cool ❤ @artapdarkstr ❤ @aznblossom

#like i think this is the shortest chapter alskdfj #just bc i needed to get some filler in skdfj #i promise the next chapter is better and more exciting #i love u my trash pandas #wonder woman imagine #diana prince imagine #diana prince x reader #wonder woman x reader #wlw imagine #gxg imagine #wonder woman #diana prince

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purrincess-chat · 3 years

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Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt.

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you.

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her.

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

#cat speaks #cat spoils #character ranking #okay fr tho dont ever ask me for anything ever again #take your complaints to your dashboard button and off my blog #idc if you dont like my ranks #theyre not for you #heck off

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