#my fever has gotten worse lol

[kaysdenofchaos]

Battle Scars AU: New Year's

New Year's after the invasion. (Hurt/Comfort)

ooo this is a long one, but suffer my incoherent ramble if you wish.

holiday season isn't a good time for me. 2020 was an awful year, and it ended just as badly as it started- covid sickness, abuse, trauma, the whole shebang. it was hard, and i hoped that the next year would be better- it wasn't.

time stopped functioning for me then. it's been hard to heal, and wo proper support it only got worse, to the point that 16 felt like a fever dream.

but here i am. 18, halfway through college, hell, got like three jobs lol. none of it feels real, nor do i feel like i should even be here. but to my luck, the world keeps turning, and gravity has yet to leave me behind.

ig im still tackling existence. figuring out my place in the world. but yk what? despite everything, im glad we made it. maybe it wasnt the best, but im glad for what i did gain this year. im glad for the experiences ive had. im glad for all the friends and people i've gotten to know, and im glad to have been able to share my thoughts and ideas with you all.

so cheers. may the world bring you joy- or may the world burn. idc either way, as long as i get to spend it w you <3

[lethalchiralium]

Dramatic | Simon “Ghost” Riley x Wife!Reader

a/n: ghost is a baby when he’s sick. no, you can’t change my mind. i may or may not be the exact same kind of sick right now. and i may or may not have had my mom do the same exact nyquil thing to me my entire teenager years. (also i’m so happy that so many of you love this series. i seriously did not think it was gonna do this well lol)

warnings: sickness, simon’s a big baby about medicine, you’re taking care of him but you’re at your wits end, MENTIONS OF AMERICAN!READER

summary: Simon’s been sick for three days and has refused any medication, claiming the cold medicine you brought from your home in America is poison and he’s rather die. You are convinced that the British medicine does nothing. Only one will win.

PREVIOUS << | >> NEXT | SERIES MASTERLIST

“Let me die.”

“Simon, just open your mouth.”

“No. Let me die.”

You were nice enough to pull out your last bottle of NyQuil you brought from your last trip home, knowing that it would kick Simon’s cold faster than any medicine at a pharmacy in town. You sat right next to him on his side of the bed, holding the little plastic cap full of the red liquid medicine. He had been fighting off the flu for a couple of days, Soap was kind enough to take the girls until he got better - knowing that little kids could have it worse than Simon.

You were almost at your limit. All your husband wanted to do was sweat it out, convinced that the medicine you’d give him wouldn’t do a thing. It’s been three days and he hasn’t gotten any better, only worse. “Simon. I mean it. This is the last time I’m asking nicely.”

His brown eyes narrowed, glaring at you as he coughed, covering his mouth with his elbow. “No.”

You placed the cap full of NyQuil down on his nightstand, putting the bottle beside it. You moved onto the bed, straddling your husband’s hips and keeping him pinned against the bed. You leaned close to him, still a foot away from his face before you gripped his chin, forcing him to look at you. “Simon Riley. I will stop taking care of you if you don’t take this medicine right now.”

He scrunched his nose, a trait both of your daughters inherited from him. “Your American medicine will poison me.”

“I’m not getting you your shitty British medicine. It won’t work as well as my poison.” You glared at him, fingers digging into his pale skin. He looked like his callsign, a ghost - coughing, barely able to breathe, vomiting and a fever that just won’t break. You were ready to do what your mom had to with you and your little brothers when they were sick as teenagers and stubborn as hell - pry open their jaw, pour the dose in and hold their nose closed. If they wanted to breathe, they had to swallow the medicine. Yes, it was harsh, but you and your brothers were almost as stubborn as your husband; whining and crying about being sick yet doing nothing to help yourselves. “You’re on thin ice. You’re going to take this medicine or I’m not going to take care of you while you’re sick ever again.”

“You wouldn’t.” He called your bluff, sniffled, and wheezed.

You glared are him. “I can do this my way or I can do this my mom’s way.”

“Your mum’s way is probably-“

He was not prepared for you to wrench open his jaw, sliding your fingers in between his teeth - you knew he would never hurt you - and grabbed the cap of medicine on the nightstand. His hands were too slow to stop you from pouring the medicine down his throat, your other hand pinched his already stuffed nose and you pulled your fingers from his teeth, covering his mouth. His eyes were blown wide in shock and disgust of the liquid before he swallowed, and you released your hands from his face.

He coughed and gagged, trying to take in breaths as you triumphantly sat back on his thighs, hand rubbing his chest. Simon glared at you as his coughs finally paused, snapping, “Fuckin’ Hell! What is wrong with you?!”

You gave him a sweet little smile. “I can almost guarantee you that you’ll be fine in a day or two.”

“You could’ve killed me!”

“Really? Weren’t you the one begging to die five minutes ago?”

He scoffed and coughed again, his lungs rattled as you kept rubbing his chest. As soon as he could breathe again, he asked, “Do I have to be worried that you’ll smother me in my sleep?”

“No.” You gently patted his chest, going to slide off of him to put away the medicine, but his hands clamped on your hips. You glared back at him, frowning. “You’re gonna get me sick and I will be very upset.”

“Well, if I let you go, you’ll sleep on the couch again when you could be sleepin’ wit me.” He whined. A big baby.

You considered it. It was freezing in the living room and you couldn’t turn up the thermostat because your husband would boil alive, so you just rubbed his chest. “I’mll sleep up here. I’ll take a shot of cold medicine for good measure, if,” You patted his chest, rubbing circles into his sternum. “you keep up with my medicine. None of your British crap.”

He thought on it for just a moment before squeezing your hips. “Fine.”

“Good boy.” You swung your leg off of him and you stood, tugging the blankets up to his throat. He stared at you, scrunching his nose before sniffling. You opened your NyQuil bottle, pouring only half a dose before taking it like a shot. It didn’t phase you since you’ve taken it for years, you then placed it back on his nightstand.

You were careful to get under the covers on your side of the bed as to not bother your husband, but he had other plans - as soon as you were settled, his arms and legs were around you, caging you to him. He was sweltering, a furnace and you were so tired of his sick antics that you almost pushed him away. He pressed a kiss your hair, sniffling as he said, “Thank you for poisoning me.”

You laughed a little. “Go to sleep, baby.”

“M’kay.”

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taglist (ignore that tagging hates me): @sigynxlokiwifelover @lumpypoll @multitargaryen @chloeforde @blueoorchid @vir-tual @lolis-pikt @theverycelestialgemini @simpingforleoandnico @prodyng @royalty-purple

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Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

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[chrisevansonly]

Sick Baby Duck (Little Duck AU🐥💛)

Pairing: Chris Evans x Wife Reader (Momma E) x Arlie Mae

Summary: After waiting it out for the day to see if Arlie would get better, but when she doesn’t it’s time for a trip to the hospital so your little duck

Warnings: a bit of angst, mentions of hospitals and sickness, sad Arlie, worried momma and Chris

a/n: happy Monday everyone, I hope to get to fics out today since it’s my one day off from classes, so stay tuned for that! Things are very weird for me right now and I kind of feel like ass but it’s fine! I also feel like this sucks and my writing it bad again LOL 

Word Count: 1,416

 Arlie’s been sick a handful of times so you and Chris are no stranger to the common cold or flu that would spread throughout your household, but this was something you had yet to experience as parents. Arlie had been coughing all day but as time went on it turned into something very nasty and unmanageable, she was running a high fever, and if she wasn’t sleeping, she was in the worst discomfort and pain you’d ever seen her in. She was down for a nap once again after taking some more medicine, both you and Chris sat in the living room trying to figure out your next plan and what to do with your little sick baby

“I think we should go to the hospital, she’s not getting better and it’s really worrying me”

You nodded

“I think that’s smart, I’ll pack a bag with a few things, and we can go”

“No, you’re not coming”

The urge to smack Chris was strong when he decided to say that, but you crossed your arms and sent a glare his way

“Excuse me?”

“You’re pregnant, heavily might I add, and going into a building with lot of sick people is not a good idea”

You shook your head 

“I love you Chris, but I am not staying here while you leave and take our daughter to the emergency room. Not a fucking chance. So, I’m gonna go pack the bag, and bring a few masks with me, and that’s final.” 

Getting up from the couch you heard the sigh he let out, knowing he wouldn’t argue with you too much, you decided to pack a few things and change into a comfier outfit than what you had on. Chris was only looking out for you, and you knew that, but there was no way in hell you were going to sit at home and wait around while Arlie was headed to the emergency room.

-

Despite getting to go to the hospital, Chris made you wait in the car which caused another argument but in the end you decided to give up and wait for them there, he was supposed to call you when they were being seen by a doctor so you could come in, but he sent you photos of him and Arlie cuddled up in the waiting room with a fuzzy blanket over the two of them. Arlie’s eyes were red and puffy from crying. It was only about 45 minutes until Chris called you, putting two masks on you quickly exited the car and found your way through the waiting room and over to the nurse standing with Chris and Arlie

“m-momma hold pwease”

You frowned at the sadness in her voice before reaching out to take her into your arms 

“I’ve got you baby, we’ll get you feeling better”

The sounds of her coughs and the stuffiness in her nose made your heart break, little whimpers escaping her ever few minutes. You were so thankful it didn’t take long to get in to see a doctor, and it ended up being Arlie’s regular paediatrician Dr.Charlie

“Well, this is a surprise, hi guys, what’s going on?”

Chris looked at you before sitting up straighter in his chair 

“Arlie’s been getting sick the past few days, and today it’s gotten worse, she has a pretty nasty sounding cough, and I’ve noticed her struggling to breathe sometimes, that with a fever that will not go away, the only time I feel like she isn’t uncomfortable is when she’s asleep”

Dr. Charlie frowned nodding her head as she looked at Arlie who was resting against your shoulder, making a few notes before grabbing her stethoscope 

“Alright, well that does worry be so what I am going to do is listen to her chest and her lungs to see if I can figure out the reason behind what’s got her feeling so icky”

You nodded and sat Arlie up which she wasn’t too happy about, a pout on her face 

“Hi Arlie, can I listen to your chest sweet girl?”

She nodded and Dr. Charlie began to take a listen, getting Arlie to take deep breaths if she could, listening intently before going through a routine check-up, a few coughing fits had her doctor frowning 

“Alright, well her fever is certainly high but luckily enough I can administer some medication to bring that down a bit, I’d recommend giving her a lukewarm bath when you get home, I know it’s late, but it will help.”

You nodded, Chris placing his hand on your knee, squeezing it for some comfort

“I think she has an upper respiratory infection mixed with a sinus infection, so I am going to send you home with some pretty heavy medication for her because I don’t want this to get any worse, it’s pretty severe as it is now, but I also don’t think we need to keep her here overnight”

“Okay, thank you do much Dr. Charlie, we really appreciate it”

She sent you a small smile 

“Of course, now I will say with you being far along with your pregnancy, and your due date coming up soon, you shouldn’t be as involved when she’s this sick, we just can’t risk anything with the baby”

Even though you knew she was going to suggest that it still broke your heart, and you couldn’t help the tears that lined the bottom of your eyes 

“I understand...”

Dr. Charlie sent you a sad smile before Chris got up to take Arlie from you, pulling his mask down for a moment to press a quick kiss to your forehead. You collected the medication from Arlie’s doctor before taking a few more notes from her and leaving the hospital, it wasn’t the most amazing news in the world, but you were more than happy to have a solution to get your baby feeling better. 

-

Chris could tell you were in a bad mood once he put Arlie down to bed after her bath and a few doses of her new medicine, you were all pouty in bed rubbing some oil on your very large belly, a nightly routine that Chris often loved to watch you complete 

“Baby?”

You looked up at him 

“Hmm?” 

“I know you’re upset with the news from the doctor, but I hope you know it’s only to keep you safe and keep the little man healthy…I hate seeing you so down”

You shrugged moving to get your cream, but Chris beat you to it before applying it to your legs, massaging the tensions out of your calves and then down to your feet, even if you were frustrated you couldn’t help the happy sighs that left your lips as his knuckles pushed into your heel 

“I just feel helpless, I know she’ll be okay because she has you to take care of her, but I have never sat out like this…”

He hummed in response 

“I know, but my mom and your mom are coming over in the morning to help out and you can still be around her baby, you just need to wear a mask to keep you and the monkey safe, okay?” 

“Okay”

Chris leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips, a goofy smile on his face when you both pulled back 

“How about you lay on your side, and I’ll give you a back massage to make you feel better honey?”

You pretended to think about it for a second 

“I mean I can’t say no to that…”

His laugh filled the room for a few seconds before you got comfy, and he started to work on all the sore spots that littered your upper and lower back. The news from tonight wasn’t the news any parents would love to receive but you knew Arlie had the best dad in the world and Chris would be the best nurse for her, not to mention the loving support of both your mother-in-law and your own mother. You couldn’t help but feel a little helpless at the fact that you were told to stay away from your baby girl so you wouldn’t get sick, but you knew deep down with the due date of your baby boy coming up, you and Chris didn’t want to risk a thing. So, if you had to settle for watching Arlie get better at a bit of a distance, you’d do just that, no matter how hard it would be. 

[allylikethecat]

Just read your reply to an ask about a fix of matty singing them to sleep and the suggestion/idea of fictional Matty singing fictional George or vice versa to sleep has me wanting to eat my hand and sob (in a good way) 😭

The best way to deal with your self imposed stress of not finishing a fic by your self dictated deadline is obviously to work on a different one 😂 I felt really bad that I wasn't able to fill that one prompt request for that anon looking for a matty x reader blurb where he sung the reader to sleep (I don't see myself ever writing x reader fic i'm sorry!! there are so many wonderful talented people who do though! that's just not my writing niche unfortunately) ... but like was totally down to write one of him singing fictional!George to sleep, and then I saw that YOU lovely anon had sent this in in response to that ask, so obviously I had to jump it to the top of my massive list of prompt fill requests that I really do promise I will finish in 2024 lol

So, alas, here it is, Fictional!Matty sining Fictional!George to sleep. I hope you like it, if not let me know and I will attempt a take two! Thank you so much for sending this in though, and for reading, and being so lovely and supportive! I hope you have a very happy new year and a great rest of your week!

❤️Ally

Singing to sleep

George was sick, and George never got sick. Matty was at his wits end, he was the one with the shit immune system. He was the one who didn’t take care of himself and allowed his body to get run down, seeming to constantly be coming down with a perpetual case of the sniffles. George did yoga. George remembered to eat, and drank water, and got the recommended eight hours of sleep each night. He wasn’t supposed to be congested and running a fever, a trail of used tissues laid out like bread crumbs as if he would lose his way back to the bedroom without them. 

George wasn’t supposed to be arguing with Matty that he wasn’t sick when he clearly was. Shaking his head, his voice rough and nasally, insisting that he was fine even as he had to halt his argument every few minutes to cough. George was not supposed to be sick, and with a sinking realization, Matty was learning that George was an even worse patient than he was. 

“Please,” Matty begged, he knew he looked ridiculous wearing the frilly apron his Mum had gotten him as a joke when they had bought the new house and Matty had shown her the high end kitchen as if he was going to actually use it. The joke was on her, he was wearing the apron and currently trying to use the kitchen. “Please just go lay back down.” 

“I’m fine,” George rasped again before breaking off into another coughing fit, his arms wrapped around himself as he shivered. Matty glanced at the clock on the stove, it was still too soon for him to take another dose of paracetamol. 

“You are not fine!” Matty snapped, turning away from the stove and the soup that he hoped was simmering and not boiling, he wasn’t entirely sure of the difference. He waved his wooden spoon at George for dramatic effect. “You need to go lay down and get some fucking rest so you can get better!” 

George opened his mouth and Matty waved the spoon more aggressively, flicking his wrist at George. “No, no arguments, upstairs, now please, let’s go.” Matty said, nudging George’s shoulder so that he could guide him towards the staircase. 

George sighed, breaking off into another coughing fit, his shoulders shaking before doing as Matty said. He padded barefoot towards the stairs, Matty hot on his heels to make sure he actually got into bed instead of trying to snag his work laptop out of the office. The soup would be okay for a few minutes without him, Matty thought as they climbed the stairs. He wasn’t entirely sure what he was supposed to be watching for anyway, or what he was even supposed to do if it did do something. 

Realizing he was still holding the spoon, Matty sheepishly sat it down on the dresser, brushing past George to fluff up his pillows and blankets.

“Get in the bed,” he said, holding his arms out as if he was a briefcase girl on a game show.  

“You trying to take advantage of me?” George rasped, batting his eyelashes teasingly, the effect was lost though by the glassy sheen of his eyes and his dry red nose. 

“Always,” Matty deadpanned and George sighed, climbing back into bed and allowing Matty to rearrange the blankets around him while he pouted like a child.

“Now get some rest,” Matty said, leaning down one last time to press a kiss to George’s forehead, frowning when he realized just how hot it was. He turned away, planning on heading into the bathroom to get George a damp wash rag to try and cool him down some before returning to his soup when George caught his wrist. 

“Wait,” said George looking up at Matty, looking extra pathetic with his pale skin, red nose and shiny eyes. 

“I’ll be right back,” Matty assured him, his heart squeezing. “I’m just going to get you a cold rag.” 

“I’m fine,” George said again, his voice convincing absolutely no one. “But will you,” George flushed, and Matty wasn’t sure if it was from fever or embarrassment. George swallowed hard, his sore throat bobbing painfully. “Will you sing to me?”

Matty blinked, in confusion, not expecting the request. “What?” he asked dumbly and George’s blush deepened, embarrassment it is then, Matty thought fondly, his heart flipping at the request. 

“Will you sing me something?” George asked again, his eyes wide and earnest. “Please.” 

Matty exhaled slowly, he wanted to get George a cold wash rag for his forehead, and he needed to go check on his soup. But who was he to refuse George a song when he was poorly. 

“Yeah,” said Matty softly, feeling like his insides had turned to goo with just how much he loved George. “Yeah, I can sing you something.” 

His Gibson Hummingbird was leaning against a decorative chair where he had left it two days prior, and he winced, knowing he should have put it away properly but thankful for his laziness as he scooped it up, feeling silly as he quickly tuned it and sat down on the edge of the bed. 

He played the opening chord and George smiled, instantly recognizing the song. 

Tell me what you thought about

When you were gone and so alone

The worst is over

You can have the best of me

We got older but we're still young

We never grew out of this feeling that we won't give up

George was asleep, snoring softly, before Matty even finished the song. 

[catboyidia]

sorry if you're getting SPAMMED with omega Genesis asks, BUT. your baby fever post got me thinking.

what would Genesis be like while pregnant. how would Angeal/Seph be around him (I imagine when Angeal found out he was just absolutely weeping while Sephiroth stood there processing with this face: 😀)

lots of love!! ♥️♥️♥️

ah no don’t worry! i’m not minding it all! if anything i’m actually kinda surprised my interpretation of it is liked enough that i have gotten multiple asks about it :) if anything i’m just more worried i won’t be able to answer the way people want lol <3

as for my thoughts on how genesis is during the pregnancy:

- definitely the ultra emotional type, he will cry over everything whether it be happy, sad, or angry

- more clingy than usual, and he needs near constant love and support from angeal and sephiroth

- all of his insecurities and anxieties kick into total overdrive, especially the further into the pregnancy he gets, furthering his need for support from angeal and sephiroth, which also makes him feel worse because he hates the feeling of bothering them by always needing reassurance

- closer to the end of his pregnancy he’s not able to be as independent as he would like, and he absolutely hates it, not because he dislikes having angeal and sephiroth’s help, but because he hates needing to be so dependent on them, and at times he feels almost guilty for it

- but sometimes he is also just so fed up with being pregnant, or angeal or sephiroth will do something he doesn’t like, and he will make angeal or sephiroth do things for him with the excuse of “you’re the ones who did this to me, its the least you can do” just to be petty

- he gets ridiculous cravings, except half the time it’s for inedible things

- he gets ultra protective over his unborn baby and does everything in his power to keep it as safe as possible, and is constantly worried about the babys wellbeing

and as for angeal and sephiroth:

- finding out genesis was pregnant, i also definitely think angeal was super emotional, like the most emotional any of them have ever seen angeal, and it’s the best moment of his life

- angeal immediately goes into full dad mode though, and he is the dream “will do absolutely anything for genesis and their unborn baby” husband kind of guy

- sephiroth definitely takes a little longer to process it, and he definitely has much more he needs to learn about pregnancy and whatnot, but he’s just as happy as angeal (even though he doesn’t show it like angeal)

- sephiroth definitely tries to be as supportive as he can possibly be for genesis though, even if he’s unsure how exactly he’s supposed to go about it

- while angeal obviously does a lot for genesis, i feel like the things sephiroth does to try to help genesis are a lot more subtle, just small things that in the long run make life easier for genesis

- angeal is just as protective over the unborn baby as genesis is, to the point he refuses to let genesis do a lot of things in worry something might go wrong and it’ll hurt genesis or the baby

- angeal and sephiroth try their best to keep genesis comfortable, which gets harder the longer the pregnancy goes on, but neither of them mind doing whatever it takes, even if it inconveniences them

- neither of them ever complains about needing to do things for genesis, or needing to comfort genesis, even if sometimes they do get a little tired of it

- i think surprisingly, not only does genesis get super clingy, but angeal and sephiroth do too, the three become more inseparable than usual

- they both commonly cuddled genesis while subconsciously resting their hands on genesis’ stomach, which also meant eventually they would feel the baby kicking, and the first time sephiroth felt it i think he probably looked like a confused kid at first, wondering if it was supposed to do that, but after having it explained to him they got to see a rare sephiroth smile! and when angeal first felt it, i think he immediately got super giddy about it (and i’m entirely convinced angeal is the type to kiss genesis’ stomach and try to talk to the baby)

[mickmundy]

hiii (again lol) just wanted to elaborate a little, but there is so much in the way you write particularly Sniper and his struggles with shame, loneliness, that hunger (in all its forms) and complex parental relationships that just resonates so deeply. Reading (and rereading) through the series and the evocative way you describe everything and break down/talk through it within and in bonus posts has really helped me put words to some of own feelings and motivated me to work towards improvement!

(i hope its okay that i combined both of your asks, i didn’t want to risk mixing up my thoughts or leaving anything about either one unanswered! ;-; <3) FIRST OF ALL…… i’m ltierally so speechless ;;; thank you SO much for sending me this, it really means the entire universe to me… like i genuinely adore that something that i wrote from such a personal part of me is emotionally impacting people who read it… like it fills me with so much love knowing that there are people out there who can relate to….. sniper’s…….. yes… of course…. sniper’s……… journey with falling in love, internalized homophobia, sexual repression, rental trauma etc… sometimes being a human feels So Much and i really don’t know how else to describe it LOL but it’s… A Lot. in good and bad ways. and sometimes i’m just overwhelmed with emotion and i don’t know how to feel or what to feel or what i’m even feeling, i just know i’m feeling a LOT! and i’ve always felt like a total freak for how i process emotions and how i see love and so it just brings me so much comfort and joy to know that not only do people understand and appreciate sniper’s journey, but they also relate to it too ;;; i am holding all of our delicate hearts so close to my chest!! ;u; <3333

and YESSS ;;;; i love both of these things too, they were Big Deals to me to write. i cried when i wrote the first two chapters of fever over a year ago and back then i didn’t have anywhere near the amount of engagement (on here, twt, ao3, anywhere really) and so i was so scared that when i Would post this fic, i’d get laughed at or misunderstood (couldn’t decide which was worse lol) and so it’s really… like.. idk how to describe it… but it feels like a heavy hand on my shoulder in a really good way.. like the reception it’s gotten, i’m genuinely blown away… ;___; and i really appreciate people being comfortable enough to be Vulnerable with me like i feel like i’m being Vulnerable with you by posting my fics.., ;; i’ve cried a lot of tears as i’ve been writing these fics and they really are a massive part of Me (and my gf + our relationship heh) and i’m just so happy that people enjoy them…

the tenderness hurting more than pain..,., like idk how else to describe it lsdkfjsdjf. being told your whole life that you can’t let your emotions dominate you, you can’t let your feelings get in the way of What Really Matters (which as it turns out.. is… nothing really at all lol. or nothing that can’t be Enhanced With Feelings…!) and realizing later in life like oh my god. i’ve wasted so much time being This Person and now it’s not working anymore… and you cling to That Person because they’re all you’ve known how to be… and the idea of putting yourself out there as Who You Are and not Who You Were Told To Be… god it’s horrific. and so scary. and it sucks. but for the sake of love… you want to try… but how do you even try… well… with a lot of attempts! and after a while it starts to get a little more natural.. and a little more natural…. <3 hehe.. and the feeling of rejection from your parents (who you are desperate to please) for things that you can’t help or don’t even understand yourself… it feels really bleak. and sniper’s only been taught to just “power through it” but it’s like… that can’t work forever.. sometimes you need to turn around and Face what you feel… and shoving through it only works for so long…!

i’m so happy to hear that you’ve been inspired to improve yourself too, i’m right there with you!! being in a place emotionally where you find the ability to like. Look Within Yourself and at least Try to improve,, it’s really hard!! and sniper and medic doing it in their own unique ways (and the slow crawl that they do it at!) and seeing them be… not so great at it but they’re getting better! i think that’s a really human trait… like it’s okay that things don’t magically fall into place all at once Conveniently, you know what i mean? and i think with tf2 characters especially it’s like… they’re all immature, they’re far from perfect, but they’re also so capable of love… in their own ways hehe!! but i think that’s fun. i like that we can all have a little emotional vulnerability… together! :’)

thank you SO much again for this wonderful message, i sincerely adore talking with you about my writing and i am always so glad to hear that you enjoy it!! ;_; <333 ILYYYYYY MY DEAR FRIEND ;_____; <3333333

[cyclaes]

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#5

fic scrap: katarina spills a secret

Set directly after Season 2, Episode 4 in the anime/Ch. 34 in the manga; Katarina has just been ‘rescued’ from her kidnapping, Sora/Rufus was just taken away, and Geordo has grabbed her for a big kiss to lay his claim on her. I’ve chosen to go more with the manga version, so Ian and Selena are present at this scene. 

---

After her first kiss with her fiancé, Katarina was so shocked that she accidentally said one of her Truths - not one of the little truths, the truths that were nice and normal and which she shared carelessly and easily - no, she actually said one of the big, death-won Truths that had shaped the course of her life, the ones she kept locked behind a Council-shaped mental construct to keep from ever triggering her own dooms. 

“But - you’re only keeping the engagement to me to ward off other girls,” she told Geordo, aloud, in a bewildered tone that everyone heard quite clearly.

This, in itself, was bad enough. His rivals were already planning how to utilize this information about how Katarina saw the world - even Alan and Nicol, although they were more focused on how to improve Katarina’s low self-esteem than actually doing anything against Geordo.

It was about to get worse.

Now, the curious thing was that if Geordo was less intelligent than he was, things would not have turned out so terribly. If his fine mind did not work as quickly and as thoroughly as it did - if, like a person of more average mental processes, he simply gaped and gasped and said “What?!” or “No!” or even gurgled in wordless surprise, he would have gotten off more easily. 

But, instead, what happened was this - Geordo, realizing that what Katarina was saying was precisely what his foolish and unhappy eight-year-old self had first thought when handed an engagement on a silver platter, (an event he regularly thanked the gods for on his knees), had immediately recalled and reviewed every single time that he had ever expressed such sentiments aloud, and cross-referenced it to any times Katarina might have heard it. 

Even as a child Geordo had known to keep his mouth shut, and he had never been so gauche as to tell anyone about his plans. There had been only one time that could possibly account for Katarina’s knowledge - a time when he had begrudgingly and awkwardly visited a little girl’s bedside as she lay unconscious, wracked with fever and delirium - a time when his attendants and hers had left them diplomatically alone. 

He had looked at her sleeping face and remembered her clinging to him in the palace garden, and had said, in a tone of resignation, “Well, I suppose marrying one stupid girl, even if it is you, will be better than having to fend off all the stupid girls all the time. And Duke Claes is neutral, so that’s good.” 

Even then he’d said it in a low tone.

But he had said it, and it was the only time that fit, and in fact it fit very well because she had changed so much after she’d fallen and hit her head...

So, what he said in reply to his fiancée's statement was, fatally: “You were awake?!”

***

AN: I’ve had this scene in my head for a while but am not sure where to take it. I do have vague ideas of having Selena think she’s connecting the dots regarding Katarina’s advice of making sure of what Ian feels directly; since, to Selena, it now appears that Geordo directly told Katarina he is just using her. And her now feeling even more frightened of being married to a prince and Ian freaking out as his very new, very delicate understanding with Selena falls apart because of his little brother’s amazing blunder. But how to get to that point....and what about all the others....

28 notes - Posted August 26, 2022

#4

Heroes of Another Story

Per a comment thread on my fic: I do think the king and queen, Geordo and Alan’s parents, must be a super badass and cool couple, with the hints of backstory we get about them. Basically they are the 'made it through great trials and tribulation' main characters of an epic medieval fantasy story, and Hamefura is the cuter, fluffier (with hints of great darkness) next-gen sequel of their kids. Dan Ascart is the best friend with the B-plot romance, and Luigi Claes is the cool side-character/ally who is unexpectedly popular in the king and queen's story for the amount of content he gets.

30 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#3

what if the hamefura cast turned into big cats

My very first fanfic idea for this fandom.

Geordo: Golden lion, quite handsome. Too obvious.

Alan: Silver lion.

Katarina: Leopard, which is the best climber out of the big cats. Was considering making her a lioness. Geordo would have gloated.

Keith: Leopard. To match with Katarina. I had originally considered making him a mountain lion but I decided I liked the idea of Katarina and Keith matching, as the other sibling pairs do.

Nicol: Black panther, sleek. Smallest of the males. Along with Geordo, this is the other too-obvious choice. There’s even a scene where he fantasizes being a black cat in the series!

Sophia: Albino panther, white-furred and red-eyed. Smallest of the group.

Mary: Tiger, coat very orange - largest of the group. Inspired by her orange dress and flower, and then when I realized the tiger is the rival of the lion...this has to happen.

Maria: lynx. Originally was planning to make her a strawberry leopard, playing up her rarity, but wanted to make her slightly different from the others to reflect her being the only light-user/commoner in a group of elemental/nobles. So she’s an Iberian lynx - the most endangered cat species in the world. Pale yellow coat with dark spots, a luxuriant ruff and tufted ears.

Scrap of fic below the cut.

The annoying thing, everyone agreed later, was how quickly Geordo adapted. While everyone else was wobbling about on new legs and getting startled by new tails, yowling in disbelief and then yowling again because of the sound of the yowls, Geordo was already fully settled into his new shape, as if he had always been able to shift between being a golden prince and a golden lion. He was laying down - most regally - paws crossed decorously in front of him. His white-tipped tail swished lazily behind him as he watched the others wobble and yowl and leap around the room.

It really was most annoying. Everyone suddenly felt a surge of empathy for Alan, who was currently shaking out each of his limbs in an attempt to get used to his new body. Alan was a lion, like his brother, but silver where Geordo was golden - rangier than his brother, with thicker fur and a more unruly mane.

Keith and Katarina now looked, ironically, like twins, more alike than Geordo and Alan had ever been. The Claes heirs were now black-and-gold leopards, the only difference between them being Keith’s greater size and weight. Even the patterning of the dark rosettes on their golden fur seemed oddly similar.

Mary was eyeing Geordo judgingly - and, as her eye was currently that of an enormous tigress, there was a good deal of implied threat in that. Mary was delighted to find that as a tiger, she was larger than Geordo - she was, in fact, now the largest member of their group, and all of that size was muscle and bone.

Nicol was snuffling worriedly at Sophia, who did not in the least need it, as she was delightedly examining the tip of her own tail.

- Katarina reciting ‘Tiger tiger’ to Mary, who is delighted. - When Geordo pouts, she recites something about lions

Sophia, pouting herself, asks for something but Katarina says, “Sorry but I guess we leopards just aren’t as poetic as lions and tigers.” Nicol pauses. “We leopards?” “Oh yeah! I read it somewhere - black panthers - and white ones, too, I guess! - are really leopards, or jaguars, with different coats. See - “ she said, nudging Nicol and then Sophia in the side. “You have spots like me and Keith! Just harder to see,” she chirped. “We leopards,” Nicol repeated, pleased. “Does this make us a pride?” Sophia squealed. “That’s lions,” Geordo pointed out. “And as Katarina is my fiancée, she is a member of my pride....”

***

It was because I read an anthology scanlation where Katarina imagined them all as dogs, LOL. I...ran out of ideas where to take this so this is far down on the list of my WIPs to work on, if ever I do, but I thought since I had done work on it I’d post it anyway. 

31 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

#2

fic fragment - title undecided for now

Summary: Selena Burke has a bad reaction to hearing about Prince Geordo’s new engagement, and Prince Ian is having none of that. Inspired by this post and the rumors of LN12 involving a new fiancée for Prince Geordo.

The engagement between the third prince and the daughter of Duke Claes has always been a topic of much discussion among the people of Sorciere. All four princes and their fiancées are much-discussed, of course - but unlike Mary Hunt and Susanna Randall, too competent to attack, or Selena Burke, weak but disgustingly proper, more boring than hateful - the eccentric and magically-weak Katarina Claes is always good for a sneer and a gossip session.

And, unlike Alan and Geoffrey, their blond brothers are subject to unceasing speculation as to whether their engagements are...open to negotiation. It has died down some since the incident with the kidnapping, at least for Ian and Selena - but now it is raging at full force for Geordo and Katarina. 

(Quietly, with the secrecy of men aiming for a previously-unthinkable goal, there are those who gossip about the rumored break - but about Katarina Claes's availability, not Prince Geordo's)

"...what can you expect, with a prince that capable and the Claes girl being like..." sniggers one nobleman to another in the halls outside the public throne-room. 

Prince Ian, with his fiancée on his arm, are nearby - close enough to catch the unkind remark, far enough for the nobles not to notice them. Selena, more resolute than people think she is, controls her reaction to a small flinch. But Ian notices it. 

*** 

"...I won't!" Geordo is insisting to their father when Ian walks in. For a rarity, all the male members of the royal family are now gathered in one room at the same time - the king behind his desk, weary; Geoffrey leaning against the wall and watching, his face uncharacteristically somber; Alan standing near his twin, his expression complicated. 

All conversation cuts off as Ian strides to their father's desk and upends a portmanteau, covering the teakwood surface with papers and envelopes.

"Ian!" King Owen says in surprise. "What are you..."

"This talk of new engagements for Geordo is stupid," Ian says bluntly. "So I went ahead and got the rescindments from everyone who sent in their application. There. That should fix it."

"...what?" comes the same reply from four different voices at once. 

"Everyone who's sent in an application has now sent in a formal renouncement of their offer in writing," Ian explains, slowly, in a tone that indicates his opinion of his family's intelligence is dropping rapidly. "There they are."

King Owen picks up a particularly creamy-looking envelope and studies it. "This - this is from Duke Richaud of Quid. We don't even have an application from him."

"Oh, his application must not have gotten here yet." Ian shrugs. "Well, whatever. It doesn't matter. We can keep this on file for when it does show up." 

Geordo is staring at him with the shocked look of a drowning man who has unexpectedly been hit in the head by a life-preserver dropping out of the sky. "Ian...Ian-nii..." He swallows hard and stands up straight, shoulders relaxing from a tension that has been stiffening them for days. "Th-thank you!"

Ian slants a cool blue gaze at his younger brother. "I didn't do it for you," he informs Geordo. "Next time - better let a few months pass first, a half-year if we can - just let her be the one to break it. Don't let her name be dragged in the mud further than it has been already just because she's had the terrible luck to be engaged to you."

Geordo staggers backwards as if Ian has struck him in the face. "What?"

Ian ignores Geordo and turns to his staring father. "And then, adopt the girl as a ward of our family. We don't, legally speaking, need to have precedent, but Grandmother Calla's link to the Adeths and your own time as a ward of Duke Lucan Claes will serve as justification. That way it'll be clear that it was us seeking a tie with House Claes, and not the other way around, and people will stop running their mouths about a girl who deserves better at our hands."

"Duke Claes is still alive, though," Geoffrey points out. "As her legal guardian and actual father..."

"But she's not his heir, and as a ward of House Stuart we can make her one," Ian replies. "The estate I was given from mother's side, Atholl..."

"What are you talking about?" Geordo demands, grabbing Ian's shoulder. 

"She doesn't need to marry you to be my younger sister," Ian states baldly. "And at Atholl she'll be closer to me and Selena..."

"She's not yours!" Geordo screams. 

"And she's certainly not yours, nor do you deserve her," Ian says coolly. Alan flinches, but Geordo just stares with eyes aflame. Ian stares back, water-magic as potent as Geordo's fire-magic backing the coldness of his gaze. If Geordo's eyes flare with inferno, Ian's has all the dark, hidden depths of a northern sea.  

(Ian thinks back to his visit with Selena to Katarina at her Claes household; the staff staring with anger at the royal sigil on Ian's clothes. They are well-trained and the pick of the wealthy and expansive Claes holdings; still they cannot help but show it. They, too, have heard the unflattering rumours about the prince casting off their young mistress. 

But Katarina Claes herself does not look the slightest bit unhappy or flustered as she welcomes them to tea with the grace only actual happiness at a guest's arrival can give. 

"Oh no," she laughs, waving her hand airily, when Selena - anxious, sad, seeing herself all too easily in the younger girl's place - brings the topic up with much fear. "I always knew Geordo would end up with someone better than me." 

There is a moment of silence.

See the full post

34 notes - Posted October 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

random hamefura concepts

1) The reason why we don’t see Katarina interact with her mother’s powerful family is because Luigi Claes dislikes and fears them and tries to keep his family away from them. Because when Milidiana almost divorced him, they were encouraging her - saying she could come home, they’d help her, they would take her and her daughter in. Which they were doing out of genuine love and concern for their sister/daughter and the (they thought) loveless marriage she had found herself trapped in. 

2) OG Katarina really WAS lazy magically; that is, if she had trained the way Hamefura Katarina trained she’d be way more powerful. In short - Katarina’s bump on the head didn’t only reawaken her past-life memories; it affected her short-term memory, ability to self-regulate, and her access to her magic. 

3) The Claes family servants adore Katarina. She notices the maids falling for Keith but doesn’t notice all the young men and some of the young women crushing on her hopelessly. Her friends make sure she doesn’t notice. 

4) The guy who named Sora is another reincarnator from Japan, like Katarina. That’s why he named Sora a Japanese name when I don’t think we’ve seen any other Japanese names. I can’t remember correctly but doesn’t Katarina go “Oh yeah, the sky, that matches” but no one else knows that’s what Sora’s name means? And Sora describes him as being weird - LIKE KATARINA IS. As if maybe he doesn’t quite understand all the norms of this world? Or if he has another set of memories in his head? (Also what if the illness he gets is related to being a reincarnated person? What if Katarina starts getting ill too when she gets older?)

5) OG Katarina is a fandom favorite back on Earth, which is why she gets a bigger, badder role in FL2 - a rival on all routes, with a dark magic upgrade and a wolf familiar. She became the Draco Malfoy of Fortune Lover. 

35 notes - Posted April 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[catastrothy]

here is a little chronicle of my sickness journey btw. bc i feel like i need to write this down because its been hilariously awful lol

warning 4 gross stuff, oversharing, and me bitching, unsurprisingly

back in early august i got sick with what i thought was a cold. basic symptoms, fever, achiness, runny nose, etc. things are relatively normal at first, i've gotten sick dozens of times because i'm particularly prone to sinus and ear infections so i brushed it off

And Then The Hives Began.

all over my limbs and very rarely on my torso and neck. even had one on my face. at one point my throat got very itchy and i had a panic attack thinking i would get anaphylaxis for the first time in my life. thankfully i took a shitton of claritin + pepcid + benedryl and it kicked in fast enough that i was okay

i go to the local urgent care. the doctor is amazing and gives a shit and prescribes me some steroids + recommends i keep taking what i've been taking. tells me to follow up with my primary doctor and to come back if things get worse.

Things Continue To Get Worse.

i go to my primary doctor. she is not very helpful. i've been thinking of switching providers anyway because i'm moving and this has kind of solidified this decision because i'm told "well that's weird! just uhh. keep taking your antihistamines and don't go out in public. good luck :)" the only thing is its been a hot minute since i switched providers and i dont really remember what the process is like and i will inevitably get social anxiety about it.

this continues for a while. i'm managing, i feel like shit. but i am managing. now here comes the really gross part. this morning (9/15/23) i am chilling on my computer. i go to scratch my stomach, only to find... there is crust. around my belly button. why is my belly button so crusty? what? it turns out there is discharge of some sort coming from there. why? who knows! it's not too painful but between the fact my fever is now higher than it's ever been (although still a low grade one) and i have this unexplained discharge it throws me into one of the worst panic attacks i've had in a while. all the worst case scenarios (sepsis, my second greatest phobia besides anaphylaxis) are running through my head but i remind myself every time i've thought shit was mega fucked it turned out okay. mira also helps comfort me and im able to collect myself and go to the urgent care (again). also on top of this i have like 3 cold sores and my period going at the same time so i am extra suffering!!!!!!!!!!

the doctor there is again really understanding and wonderful. i love this woman. she tests me for flu, covid, strep, and mono. she says she tests for mono specifically because a lot of other doctors miss it and make patients suffer for no reason. all tests come back negative thankfully (or maybe unthankfully... because we still dont know what the fuck i got). she puts me on like 5 new different meds (antiviral, antibiotic, steroid, nausea meds, and an antifungal to help if i get a yeast infection while on the antibiotic). at this point i am genuinely wishing i could make this lady my primary doctor but alas, 'tis not to be.

i am now given 1 shot each of antibiotic and steroid. one in each butt cheek. my ass hurts so badly. sitting is vaguely uncomfortable.

i am given some gauze and also told to buy dial soap for the belly button infection. i go home and lay on the couch. and thus this is where we are now

also my electric company charged me like $200 for electricity which we do not have atm so thats a cool cherry on top

anyway moral of the story is that my immune system is garbage and i wish it attacked the virus instead of me <3

[almxndrekitou]

hmhm

since this is my little garden filled with plants made of my vents and random thoughts i will talk now

ahem ahem

life has never been like this

life has never felt so distant and so close

i cant smudge off a certain watermelon flavored kiss and some sweaty handholding

i certainly can’t smudge off the pain of knowing there is possibly no security to my future

i cant erase the look on his face as he spoke to me about it all

it never felt like this

i feel so alive and so whimsically numb at the same time

my mind has started feeling like the entirety of the universe

i want to hold him close to my heart,

i miss him. i don’t know how much more i can take.

i wish i could i could do a job, earn money, feel good about myself, feel like im a valuable piece to this capitalist world 

it all still feels like a fever dream, it feels like im in a deep sleep, perhaps im near the end of my existence and my delusions only have gotten worse since

because, how could any of this ever be happening?

it cant be true

it shouldnt be the reality of the situation no

maybe my denial only increases the intensity of it 

and when im feeling like this i normally imagine his hand caressing my skin, it used to be so selfish before but now.

now it feels like his heart only beats for me and it sounds so narcissistic i hate it

but youd believe me if youd hear how fast his heart ran when i kissed his palm

i feel so overwhelmed

and all i can do is push myself to go forward and never look back because yesterday’s locked in yesterday and i have only today, i want to make the most of it

hold onto every moment

selfishly try to contain it all like sand in my palms

its so... weird

i dont know

im too young i think

i have experienced nothing

especially my childhood, i want the sweet days back 

but where do i find them?

i feel horribly lost 

and unstable

i promise ill get therapy as soon as this all gets better

and

i dont know

but

i like him a lot

and its him i like, not his company or hand or his warmth

i like him

way too much

why does he have to be so considerate all the time?

like jesus im not even that great why do you even want me

and he said to me that he doesnt care about any of that, he said that he wants my chaos

i wonder why

i wonder what he really likes in me

maybe my persistence

i keep coming back and i keep asking things that barely bother me

and maybe he likes some part of it

i cant even look him in the eyes sometimes, i feel all of my thoughts when i do

its kinda insane yeah

and 

i feel so cosmic when i touch his scars and his bandages

suddenly all i feel is love and i want to hug him all the time

but thats not possible so im hugging a giant bear plushie

which is practically the same thing except i miss his yapping that i kinda like a lot

but seriously though, i have no one to talk to about stuff like this, mainly because everyone would reply with some sort of emotion that ill end up correlating it to the topic which i dont like doing but it happens subconsciously and ewwdhwdd

anyways so i was saying

sometimes or most of the time i like going on and on and on about things i like and no one listens, everyone reciprocates

he doesnt though

he just giggles with me and listens so well, he just stares at me and listens to me going on and on and on for hours about something

he cares for some reason

why does he do that

i hate him

fucking loser

i wanna kiss him on the mouth lol

[osp-originals]

Master list

Scroll down for my more recent work lol

Mark, the Angel

Jamie hurt (hypothermia & blood loss), Cindy & Mark caretakers

It’s Just Nerves

Jamie sick (some illness idk, fever & fainting), rest of The Swashbucklers caretakers

It’s Just Nerves, Patrick’s Version

Patrick sick (panic attack w/ emeto), Yvonne caretaker

Stomach bug

Victor sick (stomach bug w/ fever & emeto) Taylor caretaker

Couldn’t Make It

Ash sick (migraine w/ aura & emeto), random stranger(?) caretaker

Overdramatic

Flynn sick (emeto & fainting), Ash & Iris caretakers

Something Didn’t Agree with xer

Jamie sick (emeto), Mark is there but he doesn’t really do anything

This thing lol

Lucas sick (migraine, emeto & fainting), Vio & Penelope caretakers

The Ocean at Night

Sergio drowning, Min, Penelope & Tomas caretaker

That Time Lucas Broke his Ass and Passed Out

Lucas breaks his tailbone and faints (duh), Penelope & Olivia caretakers (other characters are also present)

[warmbeebosoftbeebo]

As an older fan, I frequent your blog to get some perspective. I have the same feeling wondering if everyone is okay with all of the hostility. Reminiscing is fine. That whole summer in 2008 where no one wore real shoes or that time in Milwaukee Brendon was so shnockered he stripped to his boxers were great. But people evolve and at least the music exists and we have new things. Thank you for the sanity. I’ll keep coming back. And you’re right, Vices era was pretty fucking great.

Bless you for reminding me of B stripping at Summerfest 😉

Glad you like the new (old?) perspective *ba dum tish*

Fandom has gotten so toxic over the last couple years, it's awful. To the point that it's mostly hatedom (B really lives rent free in these obsessive haters heads lol. Imagine creating a subculture dedicated to a person/band thats built around hating them? Around taking things out of context, inventing things, getting super pissed at largely small things that most, esp men, are guilty of? As if their brothers, dads, even themselves... aren't "guilty" of the same and/or similar things, aren't just as cancelable. What is their lives? It's extraordinary that that is who, what hatedoms are built around, and not, oh, serial abusers like R Kelly, Manson, Weinstein... I think it's because that would actually be difficult to deal with, is serious. "microaggressions" are a lot easier to deal with, and are seen as, if anything, worse, as more a target for outrage because of that fact. Also a heavy aspect of performance (like, are they seriously that upset or just pretending they are?), conformity to the in crowd, etc.)

I actually wasn't in fandom post split till around the end of 2016, and even in 06-09 when I was in wasn't in that deep, like LJ & YT level deep. (And I was more into Ryan and didn't know what to make of B lol, but still thought of him as the baby of the group kwim? Like silly, puppyish, hyper, a little bit of a dumb dumb, a horny toad & kind of annoying at times, easily picked on...)

Considering Vices is overall my fave era, in hindsight, I wish I had been in it then! Damn, did I miss out.

Not sure where VLV will wind up in my rankings, we shall see. (Pray for the Wicked is prob my second fave BTS era eg B all chubby cheeked, sweet, happy & being a big goober but like 4-5 fave album. I think TWTL as an album is holding up better over time than PFTW for me. And I am still "oh, no, baby" at some of his fashion choices TWTL era, esp that buzzed at the sides haircut lol. And I think that was his thinnest, and often want to feed TWTL!B & get some meat on his bones, even in the GGB vid. "let me care for you & make you some soup, pasta, salads, chili... while you're being almost awkwardly sexy bc you're too thin bb."* And this reminds me of never did reviews for Fever, Bachelor but meant to!)

*it's ridiculous how sexually attracted I am to that boy, but he also brings out this protective/mothering instinct in me too a lot, what can I say 😍

(also feel free to tell me about your experiences in fandom, how you got into them, fave eras, etc)

[housemarcellus]

☆~°♡ u w u ♡°~☆

[bereft-of-frogs]

extra flower and thunderstorm did not bode well for vaccine side effects, I feel like shit XD

but it’s also like yeah you go you little funky immune system, you make those antibodies. I’m just going to lie horizontal for the whole day and I wish you’d do it a little quieter, but ok

on the plus side, used my sick day to finally watch Arrival, that was a good movie

[mypoisonedvine]

Side Effects | Bruce Banner x reader

summary: you never know what might be in the beakers at another chemist's station. you never know which of your colleagues might come along just in the knick of time to become the only antidote to your affliction.

word count: 3.6k

warnings: smut! (dub con due to sex pollen), semi-public sex (because technically someone could have walked by but unlikely), guilt/hesitance, kinda pining??, fingering, creampie,

a/n: yes, this is an accurate depiction of emergency shower protocol in a chemical lab and yes it is every lab technician's worst nightmare. thankfully the other stuff is not an accurate depiction of any known chemical, lol.

You wiped your forehead with a tired sigh, staring down at the calculations in front of you before using your pen to scribble over them before tearing out the page and throwing it away.

“You still do that by hand?” Bruce interjected, making you look up at where he was leaning in the doorway to the lab, watching you work.

“Oh, Dr. Banner!” you greeted with a smile, wondering if it was too ecstatic. You weren’t so good at the ‘playing it cool’ thing like he seemed to be.

“We have all those fancy screens and digital whiteboards, you know,” he explained as he stepped in and looked around at your work. “Not to mention the computer can do that stuff for you.”

“I know,” you scoffed, “but I always feel better doing it myself, on real paper. Not that I’m having any luck at the moment…”

"Here, I'll give them a quick look while you take a break," he offered, glancing at the numbers from over your shoulder. "You just get up and stretch your legs for a minute, doc."

You always thought it was sort of silly for him to call you that when he was a doctor as well, but you didn't complain.

Regardless, you were about to tell him that it was fine and you didn't need a break, but he was leaning in closer to take your seat and the proximity was so intimidating that you hopped up and went along with it anyways. He sat down and pondered your calculations while you circled the lab, taking a moment to appreciate how nice it felt to stand up and move around after sitting for so long.

"Your handwriting is…" Bruce trailed off, adjusting his glasses.

"Feminine and graceful?" you finished sarcastically.

"Sure," he chuckled.

"Yeah, just like me—" you started to quip, but mid-sentence you (ironically) stumbled and tripped, using a nearby table to catch yourself— but you accidentally grabbed onto a beaker, which tipped over and smashed onto the ground. The liquid inside spilled onto the floor just before you did, and you winced as you fell into the puddle of the unknown substance.

“Shit!” you hissed as you scrambled to get up, looking down at your clothes and seeing they were covered in the fluid, which was beginning to evaporate, or steam, or something. Remembering lab safety protocols, you instantly began to strip, closing your eyes and wishing Bruce hadn’t come in just before this. As you shirked your lab coat, shirt, and skirt, you walked to the emergency shower, pulling the lever and gasping when the chilly stream of water poured down on you. Bruce looked at you with wide eyes before being kind enough to turn around as you shivered and removed your bra and underwear, now completely naked and weakly scrubbing yourself with your hands in hopes that none of the chemical had gotten onto your skin.

“What is it?” he asked nervously, turning his head back enough that you could hear him over the flow of water, but hopefully not so much that he could see anything important.

“I don’t know,” you answered, “it’s not mine. It’s something Dr. Sutherland was working on…”

“Is it… are you in pain at all?” he asked, even more concerned, and you tried to decide if you could feel any effects.

“N-no…” you answered hesitantly. You felt hot, and strange, and you were covered in rolling chills, but you figured that was just the situation you were in— naked in a tepid shower in front of your coworker who just so happened to be incredibly sexy.

“I should call poison control,” Bruce offered as he reached for his cell phone.

“No, I’m fine,” you denied as the water flow slowed down and you wiped your face, confident that you looked like a complete mess— but at least you saved yourself from whatever was in that beaker, right?

“Here,” Bruce offered an emergency blanket to you after pulling it off a nearby shelf, and it was not at all absorbent but it helped with the draft as you stepped away from the shower which was still leaking the last few drops of water onto the drain on the floor.

“Thank you,” you nodded nervously, shivering and dripping and looking back at him with no idea what to say at all.

“Do you feel alright? I should check you for burns,” he suggested. “I— I won’t look…”

“Please,” you sighed, pulling the blanket a bit to expose your chest and stomach. He brushed his hand over the skin there, making you instantly whine as heat burned just under your skin, clouding your mind and making you crave even more.

"Did that hurt?" he asked anxiously, pulling away, but you stepped closer.

"No it's… it's good, it's so good."

He furrowed his brow as he looked down at you, putting the back of his hand to your forehead. "You're burning up, doc, you must be running a fever of 105."

"Touch me more, please," you whimpered. It was like you were in a dream, everything foggy and distant, and the only time that anything made sense was when he touched you. Or maybe it was that his touch sent you further into delirium; you couldn't be sure.

He gasped when he looked at your quivering legs only to find slick arousal running down the inside of them, threatening to drip onto the floor.

"Oh," he sighed.

"Please," you begged mindlessly, "Dr. Banner, I n-need you…"

"No, you need medical attention."

You whined and grabbed as his shirt, humming at the feeling of his warm skin just beneath. If the forearms that he often left exposed in rolled-up sleeves were anything to go buy, his chest was probably toned and tanned, lightly dusted with dark hair… you were all but drooling at the thought. "Please, Bruce… just help me," you pleaded, looking up into his eyes which were swirling with conflict.

"I can't," he shook his head. "I'd be taking advantage."

He must have seen the heartbreak of rejection make you wince, because he tried to soothe you with his hands resting on your arms— even just that contact making you suppress a moan.

"I've wanted this for so long," he explained, "and you— you haven't. You're unwell, you need to go to a hospital."

You sobbed a little at the idea of being taken away from him and examined by strangers, when you knew the solution was right in front of you. "No, no Bruce they'll touch me! Nobody can touch me but you, I only want you."

He scoffed, but you heard the weakness in it and you needed him to give in soon before you melted from your own hear. "You're deranged— delirious," he reiterated.

"It'll feel so good, please Bruce, I'll be so good for you— anything you want, I'll do it, I'm yours."

"Stop talking like that," he winced. "I can't… I can't."

"I need to feel you inside me, Dr. Banner, I need it more than anything. It's just gonna get worse… please, help me. I want you. I trust you."

"You'll hate me in the morning," he asserted. "God, this is so wrong…"

But much to your relief, he reached down and hesitantly slid his thick middle finger through your folds, gasping gently as he felt how wet you were. "I should t-take you somewhere private."

"No, need you now— right here," you pleaded, trying to chase his touch with your hips.

"But if someone came by—" he began to fret, glancing at the door; but his attention was turned back to you by your hands weaving into his hair.

"Nobody else stays this late, god, Bruce please I just need you so bad—"

He cut you off with a sudden kiss, which was enough on its own to make warmth bloom in your gut, but then he started to move his finger again and you shuddered with a moan that was muffled by his lips.

"Maybe I can make you come like this," he offered as he pulled back just enough to whisper to you, "would that help you? It'll take the edge off."

You bucked and moaned against his fingers, just those subtle touches driving you wild. "N-no, it has to be inside! You have to fuck me, I need your cock."

He breathed through his teeth, like he was almost considering it, but then looked away. "I can't," he shook his head.

"Can't or won't?"

He frowned. "Won't. I'll get you off with my fingers, otherwise it would be… too selfish."

"Bruce, I'm literally begging you for it," you sighed, the irritated tone that you'd intended lost in the moans he elicited by rubbing your swollen clit.

"I know," he winced, "I know and it's killing me that I can't give you what you're asking for… I swear if it wasn't like this…" he trailed off as you looked up at him with your bottom lip between your teeth.

"What would it be like?" you asked lowly. "Tell me how you would fuck me."

For all his shyness before, there was a brief switch in his demeanor as he leaned in, breath hot against your neck as he whispered, two fingers sliding into your channel at the exact moment that he spoke.

"So fucking hard."

You whimpered, knees wobbling a bit as you tried to ride his fingers— but he wasn't pushing back, wasn't giving you enough force to balance against when you sought more friction. "P-please, Bruce— I know you want to, please, please baby I need it so bad…"

"I know," he breathed, free hand cradling your face as his thumb stroked your cheek, and it was so needlessly compassionate, so effortlessly soothing that your heart had no choice but to clench at his tenderness. Other parts of you clenched as well, in much more literal ways, but the heart thing was more important.

You gingerly reached forward and palmed his cock through his pants, moaning when you felt how hard it was. "You're desperate, too," you informed him with a little smile. "It hurts, doesn't it? It aches."

"Yes," he answered tensely.

"I'm hurting too. I'm aching, for you. Please, Bruce, help me."

As he pulled back and examined your face, he chewed his lip and contemplated. He couldn't stand to see you in pain, but he couldn't comprehend what he had to do to help you. Well, okay, that's not totally accurate because he had actually "comprehended" the idea of making love to you plenty of times. But that was just a fantasy, a very misguided one that he only indulged in in his weakest moments. And in those fantasies, shockingly enough, you were always completed lucid and of sound mind and body. He sadly could not say that for you at the moment, and of course he couldn't because of course when you were sober and healthy, you didn't see him that way.

Bruce prided himself on his logic, his integrity, his patience. Suddenly, those qualities were falling prey to a much deeper, carnal instinct that saw this not as a predicament but as an opportunity. Logic states, after all, that it would be wasteful to have everything he wanted thrown into his lap and to let it go to waste.

"Fuck," he groaned as he kissed you again, fucking you faster with his fingers. You moaned and went for his belt, barely managing to open it with your hands shaking so much; part of you had considered just trying to rip the leather off of him, and with the force of your need it seemed almost plausible.

Finally getting his trousers opened just enough to reach inside, you purred as you reached in and navigated past his boxers to wrap your fingers around his hard cock. It was so thick and smooth and hot and you almost wanted to drop to your knees and take it in your throat right then, but you had better plans.

He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, grinning against you at the way you whined, before wrapping his arms around you and quickly instructing you to jump.

It was infuriating, how easily he caught you when you wrapped your body around him. Infuriating and so painfully sexy.

He never broke the kiss as he walked the two of you to your lab table, sliding the papers aside and onto the floor to set you on it. You started on his aggravatingly-small shirt buttons while he pushed his trousers and boxers down the rest of the way, and god his cock was right there between your legs, so close but very much too far away for your liking.

You didn't have the time or energy to get his shirt off, settling for just running your hands over the exposed skin instead. He grinned and watched the path your hands made, hissing slightly when they wrapped around his shaft— for a second you swore you could feel it throb.

"Don't make me wait anymore," you whispered your plea, sighing a little when he nodded.

"Okay baby," he agreed.

"Been waiting so long," you whined.

"Me too," he nodded, and with a little push, his cock slid all the way into you and filles you to the brim. Even when you were completely drenched, the girth of him was so wide that it stung, that it tore you open, but you loved it. Your head fell back and just from him being inside you, you came. The substance had you so needy and sensitive that that was all it took. It wasn't enough yet, of course. You knew you needed more. But God, he felt so good you could hardly breathe.

"Baby," you heard Bruce gasp, his fingers digging into your hips. Your chest twisted when he laughed a little, breathless and just teetering on the line between complimentary and mocking. "Did you just come?"

You considered playing dumb, but nodded instead.

His smile was apparent when he pressed his lips just below your ear to suck on the delicate skin there, his teeth trailing up to nibble your earlobe lightly. You hoped he would leave a mark, you hoped he would leave lots of marks that you could remember this by for weeks to come.

"Couldn't help yourself, huh?" he asked breathlessly, whispering so quietly you could barely hear it over the beating of your own pulse which echoed in your ears.

"You feel so good," you justified, "so fucking good, Bruce."

"You too," he sighed as he finally pulled back and slid into you again, the friction making your back arch instantly. "Even better than I imagined."

You smiled and wrapped your legs around his hips, forcing him to push deeper with each thrust. When he pushed you to your limits it felt like you might just fall apart right there, but it was so worth it.

As if that wasn't enough, he reached down and circled a thumb over your overstimulated clit, grinning down at you at the sight of you writhing and bucking wildly in his arms.

"Fuck!" you cried as you tightened your hands on his shoulders into fists hard enough to risk tearing through his shirt.

"Too much?"

"More," you pleaded instead, crying out when he gave you exactly what you wanted with fast, rough thrusts into your drenched walls. "Yes," you sobbed, "yes, fuck— m'gonna come, Bruce, gonna come again."

"Go ahead," he encouraged, voice so much rougher than normal, "show me how good it feels, baby."

It felt like his words were the thin that pushed you over the edge, as if your body somehow both understood and obeyed his command. You could feel a renewed wave of slick leak out from you, enough that you could hear the wetness in each slap of his hips against yours. His name was somewhere in the litany of curses and praises that spilled from your lips, your mind too clouded with hazy pleasure to keep track of what you were actually saying.

"Just like that," he groaned, "doing so good, fuck, say my name just like that every time I make you come."

An easy enough stricture to follow, especially when it seemed like he was all you could think about. He looked so different with his clothes half-shorn and his eyes dark with lust. He hadn't taken his glasses or labcoat off and you weren't sure which of those you were happier about.

His lips and hands were all over you; you couldn't even keep track of everywhere he was touching you, that's how overwhelming it was. "God, you're so fucking perfect," he groaned against your skin, finding a hardened nipple as his tongue explored you and wrapping his lips around it. "You are so goddamn sexy, you know that? I love seeing you with your legs spread for me like a needy little whore. I love hearing you moan and knowing I'm the one making you feel this good."

He took a moment to look at you and soak in your shocked reaction to his words before leaning in to continue.

"I love feeling you come for me," he purred in your ear.

"Then you're gonna really like what I'm about to do," you shivered.

"Yeah? You can gimme another one already?" he smiled. "Such a good girl…"

You really couldn't help it, it felt like everything he did only enhanced your pleasure— his words, his hands all over you, not to even mention his cock inside you. As much as the hedonistic corner of your brain was happy to let this go on forever, the ramifications of constant orgasms were finally catching up with you as you wondered how much more of this you could take.

"F-fuck, are you close?" you asked weakly. "Want you to come for me, Bruce, please."

"I-I'll pull out," he suggested, although the way he looked down at his length sinking into you and pulling back out, covered in your abundant arousal, didn't exactly indicate that he was willing and able to actually make good on his offer.

"No!" you yelped, pulling him closer by his unbuttoned shirt. "It needs to be inside, Bruce, please come inside me."

"Fuck," he hissed through his teeth.

"Please, Bruce, please, promise you'll come inside."

"I will," he sighed, "fuck, I will baby, I promise I'm gonna fill you up so good, you're gonna have my come so fucking deep inside you…"

"Yes!" you moaned, completely unabashed as the unknown substance had apparently absolved you of any shame whatsoever. "Yes, I want it, Bruce, I want your come."

The moment you felt his seed start to paint your walls, you felt relief begin to wash over you. Your mind and body relaxed, the overwhelming heat under your skin subsiding into a comforting warmth, the desperation that had burned in your gut satiated at last.

And that left you staring up at him in realization of what you had done, just as he looked back at you with the same.

"God, I'm so sorry—" he shuddered, moving to pull away. Instinctively your legs wrapped around his hips again, holding him close.

"N-no, wait," you groaned, "it's okay. Don't go."

"You don't hate me," he said, the exhaustion in his tone making it hard to tell if it was a question or a statement.

"Never," you sighed with a weak smile, sitting up to clutch his face and kiss him again. "God, Bruce, now I'm just wondering what took us so long."

"Our lab safety is just too good, clearly," he smiled as he kissed you again, pulling back a little too soon to examine your face where he held it in his hands. "Are you okay? You should still probably go to a doctor…"

"I'm already with a doctor," you smirked, "and his treatment was very effective."

"Yeah, that was…" he trailed off, wide eyes as if he were reminiscing about what had only just transpired.

"Sorry for being so… desperate," you cringed. "I didn't mean to… um… impose…"

He just laughed and kissed your forehead, making you feel your cheeks warm a bit; ironic that with everything that had just happened, this was what made you blush. "A beautiful, amazing woman that I've been dreaming about for months begs me to take her in the laboratory… really inconvenient."

"I mean, cleaning up these papers and the broken glass is gonna be pretty tedious, along with the incident report," you frowned.

"I'll help you with it," he offered.

"Tomorrow," you decided. "Right now, I'm taking you to my place."

"Is that so?" he asked with a bemused smirk.

"Yep. We both are in serious need of a shower, and then I wanna go again," you grinned wickedly.

"I thought you said you weren't feeling the effects of the chemical anymore," he recalled, voice tinted with concern.

"I'm not," you reassured, "I'm just feeling the effects of you."

[wall-maria-fritz]

I would love to hear more about your zeke yeager fanfic idea!! <3

Bear With Me While I Drabble On About That Zeke Jaeger Fic I'm Itching to Write

omg I can't believe ya'll are actually interested in my little Zeke fantasy eeep. But truly, he IS ruining my life smh.

I just have to say, that Indulgence will definitely be written but rn, I'm currently in the middle of four other oneshots from my askbox, (Two Levi ones, a Reiner one, and an Erwin x Marie) so there'll be just a little bit of waiting! On top of that, I'm also feeling a little under the weather so I'm still monitoring if my sore throat and generally woozy feeling balloons to a full on fever and if, God forbid, I have to get myself checked. The 'Vid has gotten worse in my country lately, and I'm honestly really fucking scared.

But, to answer your question, I'm really still trying to flesh out the whole breadth and flow of the fic, as well as how complicated I want the thing to be lol.

Unlike Levi, Zeke Jaeger strikes me as a truly impenetrable man. When I first fell in love with Levi's character, sure I thought he was a cold, dangerous man in his own right, but Levi's charm lies in despite the untouchable façade, you can feel in your bones that he's a softie at heart. Something about him still tells you he cares. Levi's blunt vulgarity tells you he's a genuine-- albeit asshole-y-- no-nonsense man, while Zeke's charisma tells you he's aware of his own charm which he can use to manipulate people. I mean, the man's an excellent politician-- his ability to be goof around and pay lip service to his superiors he plots against all while gaining those same superiors' respect is proof that with Zeke Jaeger, you can never be too sure.

I suppose that's why he's such a wonderful villain.

But. Think about a man like that falling in love with you.

Zeke's life has been a masque since the day his father tried indoctrinating the Restorationists' beliefs on him. Zeke has built and burnt worlds in his mind; always moving, scheming, and acting in accordance to an agenda, an endgame. It must be tiring, and well...

Zeke must not recognize his own self anymore from all the playacting he's done throughout his life.

But for a man where everything-- every handshake, every signed document, every good-humored joke, every carefully mapped strategy-- is a means to a grand end, having Commander Magath's quick witted, occasionally snarky, but spirited daughter as his new aide-de-camp just might be the thing that throws War Chief Jaeger off his axis.

This new aide-de-camp has certainly heard of the mercurial War Chief's different shades-- some say he's an easygoing, laidback guy, some say he's a ruthless tactician, without a care for compassion nor mercy for his adversaries; a man who makes and breaks his own rules. And upon meeting him, you certainly understand why people say what they say.

Zeke is a man who takes up space in a room; not very many can ignore his presence, including you. And you'd by lying if you said it didn't intimidate you even just a little bit. But Zeke supposes, neither can he ignore you. You were like a breath of fresh air, how could he not notice you? And Zeke Jaeger would be lying if he didn't feel his insides do a little skip in glee at the realization that you would be his new aide.

Here comes a woman who was a lover of life, with what Zeke calls, "the cutest fucking giggle ever," becoming the most unlikely woman Zeke goes to if not for a friend, then for a moment of respite. Here comes the one woman who Zeke allows to be privy to his most vulnerable, most intimate moments. And perhaps, here comes the one woman he'll fall in love with.

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