#my first post in a billion years and its a shitpost

[ovrrdogg]

Sorry ive been absent for 5000 years, its because i am writing tengolf fankid fanfiction

This is a deleted scene from a sillier first draft of the story. This isn’t going to make it into the final draft (mostly because I’ve completely changed the way practice ball was made) but it kept making me laugh so i decided to scribble it up

Go, my evil scientist baby

[mariacallous]

In recent weeks, as the defamation trial brought by Johnny Depp against his ex-wife Amber Heard has continued to overshadow nearly all other news stories and dominate the main social-media platforms, I’ve noticed that the normal people in my life—the ones who have not had the Law&Crime Network live stream of the proceedings running on their laptops since it began, in April—are often under the impression that the case is impenetrably complex. They aren’t entirely wrong: Depp-Heard 2022, playing at least through the end of this week in Fairfax, Virginia, is the sludge pit of an outlandishly toxic relationship. But so much of the online chatter about the trial is noise rather than signal; it has obscured how simple the core matter is, and how that simplicity makes the case all the more bizarre and tragic.

Depp’s fifty-million-dollar defamation claim against Heard rests on the first part of one sentence, which she published in an op-ed in the Washington Post in December, 2018: “Then two years ago, I became a public figure representing domestic abuse, and I felt the full force of our culture’s wrath for women who speak out.” It is incontestable that, two years earlier, Heard did indeed appear on the cover of People magazine with apparent facial injuries and that, around the same time, she obtained a temporary restraining order alleging domestic violence against her husband; she was photographed leaving the courthouse with what looked like a bruise on her cheek. She also has a trove of text messages, witness statements, and photos of injuries—which, she says, corroborate her allegations of abuse. The careful legal vetting of her Post op-ed may be evident in the wording: Heard calls herself a “public figure representing” abuse, not a victim or survivor of it; she does not name Depp, nor does she specify a type of abuse. (Depp has denied ever hitting or assaulting Heard; she is countersuing him for a hundred million dollars.)

As for whether Heard has “felt the full force of our culture’s wrath,” a quick glance at Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, YouTube, and other platforms, where she is cast as the Medusa of Sunset Boulevard, may settle the question. The precise demographics of the pro-Depp coalition are diverse, if uncertain in their exact proportions: bots, shitposters, men’s-rights activists, women who were in middle school when “Edward Scissorhands” came out. According to Wired, the hashtag #JusticeforJohnnyDepp has surpassed ten billion views on TikTok. Parody videos of Heard’s emotional testimony are already a TikTok cliché. The conservative site the Daily Wire spent tens of thousands of dollars to promote mainly anti-Heard content on Facebook and Instagram about the trial, per a story in Vice World News. (The Daily Wire has not commented on the story.) NBC News has reported on the YouTube creators who pivoted to anti-Heard videos when they realized how much users and the algorithm liked them.

But that half-sentence in the Post—that’s the whole case. That’s fifty million dollars. Depp lost a 2020 defamation lawsuit against a British tabloid, the Sun, which was far more brazen in its language—it called Depp a “wife beater”—and, despite the United Kingdom’s strict libel laws and a reversed burden of proof, the High Court in London found the vast majority of Heard’s claims to be “substantially true.” And yet, earlier this month, the presiding judge in the Virginia case, Penney Azcarate, rejected Heard’s motion to dismiss. Azcarate cited “evidence that jurors could weigh that the statements were about the plaintiff, that the statements were published and that the statement was false, and that the defendant made the statement knowing it to be false or that the defendant made it so recklessly as to amount to willful disregard for the truth.”

The evidence that jurors must weigh varies widely in its apparent relevance to Depp’s defamation claim. Just today, the jury and viewers at home were treated to closeup views of Depp’s bloody finger stump, injured in a domestic fracas in Australia. Earlier in the trial, we saw images of the deranged, slut-shaming messages that Depp scrawled in paint or blood using the selfsame freshly injured stump. There are also Depp’s texts sent before he married Heard—in which he calls her a “worthless hooker,” jokes about how he’ll “smack the ugly cunt around,” and, at one point, shares a brainstorm with the actor Paul Bettany: “Let’s drown her before we burn her!!! I will fuck her burnt corpse afterwards to make sure she’s dead.” There’s footage of Depp trashing a kitchen and audio recordings of him telling Heard, “Shut the fuck up. . . . Don’t fucking pretend to be authoritative with me. You don’t exist.” Depp, to review, is the plaintiff in the defamation trial, and the one whom most of social media is rooting for.

It should be acknowledged that Heard, at times, has made questionable statements about her relationship with Depp and its aftermath. Both Depp’s legal team and the #JusticeforJohnny and #AmberTurd armies on social media have focussed on flawlessly gorgeous photographs taken of Heard after alleged severe beatings and, especially, on her claim that she appeared on James Corden’s late-night talk show with “two black eyes” and a nose that she suspected was broken. On the other hand, two pieces of evidence that her detractors hold up to allege that it was Heard, in fact, who was abusive—an audio recording in which she admits to hitting him and another in which she mocks any claim he might make of being a victim of domestic violence—both sound uncannily like fragments from a DARVO scenario, in which an abuser denies what he is doing at the same time that he deflects and projects his behavior onto the person he is abusing.

You don’t have to trust Amber Heard to look at twelve words in a newspaper column and wonder why they serve as an invitation to listen to her sobbing incoherently in an ugly argument with her unmoved spouse, or to read texts in which Depp calls her a “gold digging, low level, dime a dozen, mushy, pointless dangling overused flappy fish market.” You don’t have to like Heard to sympathize with her when one of Depp’s lawyers, Camille Vasquez, who cross-examines all of the defense witnesses in a tone of incredulous contempt, repeatedly confirms with her that she did not seek medical attention after some alleged incidents of violence; or, on redirect, when Heard’s flustered lawyer, Elaine Bredehoft, is unable to formulate questions that would permit Heard to defend herself. (Vasquez has taken fearsome advantage of what appears to be Azcarate’s unusually rigid application of hearsay.) You don’t have to believe everything Heard says to be startled when a Law&Crime guest, the defense attorney Lara Yeretsian, wonders aloud, after hours of Heard’s testimony, why she stayed with her alleged abuser—a question so exhaustively asked and answered over decades of work by domestic-violence advocates that it inspired an activists’ hashtag eight years ago. “It’s a question that I’m sure a lot of people are asking today,” Yeretsian said.

The longer the trial slogs on, and the more that various third parties profit from it, the more difficult it is to fathom Depp’s motivations for instigating it. He and his supporters say he filed the suit to clear his name, but it has put more terrible behavior of his on the record than any scrubbed and ghostwritten op-ed could do. In fact, if you spend enough time inhaling the sulfurous fumes of the Depp-Heard live stream, what it starts to resemble most is a high-budget, general-admission form of revenge porn, an act in which the person with the upper hand in a relationship forces the other to be complicit in the sharing and dissemination of raw, vulnerable, literally sensational moments for the delectation of an unseen audience. One of the hallmarks of revenge porn is the way it freezes its victim in time, a plight that Heard summoned at the end of her direct examination. “I want to move on with my life,” she said. “I want to move on, I want to move on, I want Johnny to move on, too. I want him to leave me alone.” But the consequences of his legal action against her will never leave her alone. This is who she is now—the victim of an unprecedented Internet pile-on, a bruised face on an iPhone, a woman who makes people laugh when she cries.

[that-pink-pervert-dyke]

my candy love is over.

After all this years, the game that made me make this tumblr account and that probably changed my life forever is gone.

What can I even say?

I was 10 when I started playing it.

The story while simple, was so interesting and fun for me at the time, I spent 12 hour per day thinking about it, and on the other half of the day I was creating fanfics inside my head, where my oc was a mermaid, a long lost princess, a sassy blonde tsundere girl with a heart of gold... I could be all of that while looking good and having five anime boyfriends!

And the fandom...oh the fandom. I said a while ago that it was/is a very toxic community, and while I'd still consider this statement to be true, there for sure was a lot of passion and creativity in it.

Some of my current favorite youtubers and artists started here, it's crazy to see how far they've come when looking back they were just some teens with crushes on anime boys.

The memes in the fandom were also 👌👌👌 honestly, it has here were I learned what shitpost is.

As for my personal relantionship with that hell of a game well, I'm not kinding when I say It changed my life forever.

I was always a shy, self consious, anxious kid, with little to no friends, so to have a place where ""I"" was an outgoing pretty teen, who was not only beloved by all of her classmates, but also desirable by boys, so much so they would get flustered by things that I've said and compliment me for small actions???? Mannnn that was AMAZING.

I know I don't post my artwork in my tumblr so it's kind of weird for me to say that but this dating simulator literally gave me the dream of being an artist. It's true, I was so in love with ChiNoMiko's artstyle that all I wanted when I was 12 was to be able to draw just like her, so praticed every day till I could draw a girl as pretty as Candy or a guy as cool as one of the main boys.

But what helped me the most was for sure the much needed escapism MCL gave me.

I'm a pedophillia survior, for years I spent every single day of my life afraid my abuser would hurt me, rape me or even kill me haha guess what profession he occupies? yep, good ol' cop, protecting those in need! like all his noble co-workers! It felt like I was in a constant danger zone, and that no matter how much I'd pray, he would always be there to torture my existence. This trauma was the main reason why I developed depression, and why I hated being me so much.

But this game...this game helped me, it helped a lot. When I was in the school of Sweet Amoris I could take myself out of the world where there was someone trying to use me in such a disgusting way. I could distance myself from being the scared introverted girl I was and become a confident and beloved idealized version of me.

There really wasn't room for fears and anxiety when I was chasing Nathaniel, argueing with Castiel, helping Lysander find his notebook, making pop culture references with Armin and simping for Kentin.

Now I'm in no way shape or form saying My Candy Love is a good game. It's full of plot holes, has a problem with keeping its consistence in artstyle, has billions of wasted storyline, some of the wrost character development I've ever seen, had some very bad stereotypes and representation of minorities in it's early years and I'm not even going to begin on how Beemov is a shitty company runned by idiots that treats it's employees and consumers like fucking garbage.

But I can't deny my love for this series, or at least the first part of it, and how much it meant for me.

Nowadays,after somehow finishing high school, somehow getting into a happy relantionship and finally being able to have my abuser far away from me and anyone I love, I look back grateful for my times as a cringy weeb obssed with these french anime boys, if I am who I am today it was thanks to these weird memories that marked my life.

So thank you you,

For this messy story,

For this even messier fandom,

For Kentin, the biggest fictional crush I've ever had,

For making me create my account on this lovely hellsite,

For the joy,

For the laughter,

For the dream,

And so much more.

MY CANDY LOVE IS OVER BITCHES

[isa-ghost]

Why is it that Sean only seams to reblog/like things from You, Lum1, Beka, Mr, and a shit ton of other ALREADY popular Tumblrs.. But hardly ever notices anyone else? I know of people who create Amazing things and post in the tags daily but NEVER get any attention. It's heartbreaking and very discouraging. I understand that you arnt Sean and can't speak for him. But maybe give some ideas/tips for getting your stuff noticed please? 👃🐷

Okay--

First of all, Sean never reblogs from me, idk where you got that idea but you’re severely mistaken. I’m lucky if he’s reblogged maybe three of my things I’ve ever made in the (barely) year and a half I’ve been on Tumblr.

Second, that’s kind of really shitty to call blogs out by name to someone that isn’t them. Just saying.

Third, I’m not really a popular blog. I really am not. Follower count means nothing and 99.9% of my posts that get a lot of notes are shitposts that Sean would never see/reblog.

And last but most importantly, being noticed is a game of chance for EVERYONE. Nobody has special privileges, and there’s a 99% chance Sean doesn’t even pay attention to URLs when he reblogs things, he just likes/reblogs whatever art/edits/etc that he sees in that tag that grab his attention for the small amount of time he checks into Tumblr.

There are so so so many people who post in the tag, posts get buried really easily. He doesn’t have unlimited time to go through the whole tag and notice every single thing that gets made for him. It sucks, but that’s the truth. Also, just because he doesn’t like/reblog a post doesn’t mean he doesn’t see it and it DEFINITELY doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate it. He’s said more than enough times that he wishes he had the time to interact with everything, and that he loves every single thing people take the time to make for him no matter what. The community is so huge and so many things get created for him that its just impossible for him to go through all of it thoroughly.

There’s no secret way of getting noticed often. The “people who get noticed a lot” are extremely talented and hard-working creators who make things frequently and Sean is more than allowed to enjoy their work. Everyone has favorite artists/etc and just because Sean is a popular YouTuber doesn’t mean he’s not allowed to have favorites of his own.

There are plenty of people, “popular” and not, who don’t get noticed; its just because its a game of chance. You can’t predict when he’s gonna check the tag or what he’ll see. It is 100% just luck that determines “getting noticed.” Plus, not only do things get buried in the tag easily, but Tumblr is broke as shit too so sometimes posts don’t even appear in the tag (even “popular blogs” have trouble with this), and tagging his blog is useless because he gets billions of notifications every day.

If you want to get noticed, be patient, work hard, don’t give up and hope you get lucky. That’s all anyone can do.

It’s not a crime to be a little jealous of people who do get noticed, its honestly a natural reaction. But calling them out, complaining about, or (I’m not saying you in particular have done/do this but many people have) sending them hate for getting noticed when you haven’t is just, to put it bluntly, extremely shitty. They don’t control getting noticed, they don’t know if they will be, and them getting noticed a lot doesn’t make them special or make people who don’t get noticed unimportant.

TL;DR: I’m not sure if I’ve made what I’m saying clear enough because I’ve kinda rambled, but at the end of the day- Getting your posts liked/reblogged is pure luck for every single person who posts in the tags, even the people that get noticed a lot. It can be frustrating to see the same names getting noticed often, but they don’t control anything to do with it, so don’t get mad at them or send them hate or anything like that (Again, I’m not saying you do or have, Anon, this goes for everyone). If you want to get noticed, just be patient, hope you get lucky, don’t give up, and keep working hard. It does and will pay off.

[primorcoin]

New Post has been published on https://primorcoin.com/elon-musks-dogecoin-and-bitcoin-tweets-a-crypto-twitter-timeline/

Elon Musk's Dogecoin and Bitcoin Tweets: A Crypto Twitter Timeline

Have you ever had a partner who was no good for you? Your parents, your friends, even the voice in your head told you to split up, but before you knew it, you were married with three kids.

For Tesla CEO Elon Musk, that partner is Twitter. The SEC warns him off of tweeting things that can move the market, and what does he do? He goes and buys a 9% stake in the company—and joins the board to boot.

The latest concern is that Musk’s appointment could revitalize scrutiny of the automobile kingpin from the Securities and Exchange Commission, which is tasked with protecting consumers from things like market manipulation. While the agency has fined Musk for tweets it regards as ill-timed and/or misleading related to Tesla, the South African has also been known to inflate crypto market prices in under 140 characters.

Musk first started tweeting about cryptocurrency in January 2018 with Musk-founded The Boring Company’s release of flamethrowers (not a typo):

But wait, there’s more: the flamethrower is sentient, its safe word is “cryptocurrency” and it comes with a free blockchain

— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 29, 2018

From February 2018 through at least February 2019, Musk publicly maintained via Twitter that he owned no cryptocurrency aside from 0.25 BTC that a friend had sent to him.

But in April of that year, something shifted as Musk declared (jokingly or not), “Dogecoin might be my fav cryptocurrency. It’s pretty cool.” What followed was a years-long love affair with the joke coin, based on a meme involving a Shiba Inu dog. Decrypt has previously reported that Dogecoin searches spiked from 2019 through 2020 around the times Musk tweeted about the coin. 

There’s also general agreement that Musk’s tweets—including “Dogecoin is the people’s crypto” and a photoshopped allusion to “The Lion King” in which he anoints DOGE—helped push Dogecoin’s price upward from under a penny in January 2021 to an all-time high of $0.73 on the day of his May 2021 “Saturday Night Live” appearance.

Musk’s DOGE involvement goes beyond shitposting. He’s actually been working with part-time Dogecoin developers to improve the blockchain since 2019. In May 2021, he tweeted that the immediate goal was to “improve system transaction efficiency,” adding that the work was “potentially promising.”

While Bitcoin was frequently the butt of Musk’s jokes (he called it “almost as BS as fiat money” in December 2020) he made something of an about face in February 2021, when Tesla announced it had $1.5 billion in BTC in its treasury. At the time, several lawyers told Decrypt that Musk’s Twitter habit likely didn’t cross a legal line, at least with regards to cryptocurrency. 

Nonetheless, said Anderson Kill partner Preston Byrne, “CEOs of companies with substantial Bitcoin holdings will need to be very careful before talking their Bitcoin books in a fashion that might move the markets to ensure their statements are not part of anything which might be viewed as a manipulative or deceptive device or contrivance in the context of either the commodity or securities domains.”

Musk has rarely been categorized as “careful,” however. In 2018, the agency argued that a series of tweets about taking Tesla private constituted securities fraud and mandated he step down as Tesla chairman; less than a week later, he called it the Shortseller Enrichment Commission on Twitter. In July 2020, he tweeted, in an ostensible reference to his genitalia that SEC stood for something else: “SEC, three letter acronym, middle word is Elon’s.”

Enjoy the honeymoon.

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#Blockchain #Crypto #CryptoNews #DOGE #DogeCoin #ElonMusk #TraedndingCrypto

[image-transcribing-bot]

PMD Shitpost - What a twist @ o @PMDShitpost IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A BILLION YEARS WE HAVE HAD ACTUAL CONTACT AND WORD FROM SOMEONE INVOLVED IN THE MAKING OF RESCUE TEAM AND EXPLORERS AND ITS A BIG ONE WE SHOULD MAKE A INTERNATIONAL HOLIDAY IN HONOR OF THIS Aliens make formal contact with earth and offer to share their advanced knowledge with humanity for no cost Arata Tivoshi, the composer for the first two PMD soundtracks, replies to a fan email and mentions that he's thinking about releasing offical soundtracks for those games 335 PM - 21 Aug 2018 astm: nu: #00@C68§@@#¢ y- Q Nintendo Wire (C ~ Follow ) v @NinWire / The composer of the first two Pokémon Mystery Dungeon games is hoping to crowdfund an official soundtrack release. Details: nintendowire.com/news/2018/08/2 10:19 AM - 22 Aug 2018 159 Rowess ssslic © 4 @@ CZ The composer of the first two PMD games is planning to do a official OST! | (seirmysteryDungeon) submitted 3 days ago * by Hexagon1245. Music Fanatic This was requested to be reposted here from the Discord server. Short backstory: for the past few weeks, I have been contacting Arata liyoshi, the composer for PMD Red / Blue Rescue Teams and PMD Explorers series via email pretty actively. Today's email from him was very unexpected, since he wrote this: --about licenses issue I'm planning to make "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Original Sound Track". I made some music for "Pokemon Mystery Dungeon" definitely. But I can't remake the music because of copyright. About this matter, I need to negotiate with the video game makers. I'm planning I use "crowdfunding" to solve this issue... (email was originally in English and I cut out the unnecessary stuff.) Pretty cool, huh? The unfortunate thing is, however, is that he wrote that he doesn't know if his music is becoming more or less popular and he doesn't have much money nowadays from the previous emails I have gotten (hence the "crowdfunding" part in his email snippet). I'm not some sort of a rulebreaker - if anyone feels that this post is not needed, they can delete it, but I'm just trying to spread the news here. He said that he will post a official announcement on his Twitter soon enough with some promotional songs on his YouTube account later on. I might as well link his SoundCloud too here. and no, whoever was thinking that he was MIA, he wasn't. He is a pretty well known composer in the BeatMania IIDX community, and he has done some great compositions, which some are really reminiscent of his PMD work. If you want to check them out, search S.5.D Fantasica on YouTube. 36 comments share. save. hide. give gold. report. crosspost

I am an image transcribing bot which uses Tesseract OCR to translate images to text. I'm far from perfect but I try my best! Help me pay my electicity bills! Being robot is sometimes expensive thing. | PayPal | Patreon

[x] / [x] / [x]

this is so unexpected but arata iiyoshi is planning on releasing the soundtracks he created for the first two titles of the pokemon mystery dungeon series (rescue team and explorers) thanks to a fan contacting him!!! 

the story should be developing so keep an eye on /r/MysteryDungeon reddit and @PMDShitpost on twitter!!!! there are more links to his sites in the source links i cited too

[awkwarddezzy]

Parallel Lines

Pairing: your choice of Dan x reader or Phil x reader

Genre: romance, angst(?)

TW: a little bit of swearing

Word count: 597 (nothing too long)

I’m the biggest procrastinator out there. I have 5 requests to take care of and I haven’t even started any of them. *bows repetitively* I swear I’ll do them. Don’t kill me just yet.

With that said, I wrote this imagine to commemorate the one year I’ve been a Tumblr user. Yes ya’ll, 364 days ago, I made the wise decision to create a Tumblr account. Since then, posting fanfics and doing a ton of shitposting has taken over a chunk of my life. No regrets though. I love being Tumblr trash. After some thinking, I chose to write my Tumblrversary fic inspired by a recent video from The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. This concept is something I’ve believed in for years and I was so happy to see it finally fleshed out by one of my recent favorite Tumblr blogs.

Hope you guys enjoy! As bittersweet as this will be, I know many of you lovelies will be able to relate.

In their lifespan, there were multiple ocassions when their paths nearly crossed, moments when they were seconds away from meeting one another. Whether it was passing by each other on a busy street or sitting on separate tables in a Starbucks on the exact same time, those were the times when destiny missed its call, when living on a planet populated by billions of people was their flaw.

The unfortunate part is how perfect they are for each other. He loves video games; she does too. He has a heart for Muse; she’s band trash for (your favorite band). He winds up in the strangest situations; she happens to walk into bizarre situations that results in her asking, “What the fuck did I walk into?” He has a unique perspective of the world; she has a caring heart that allows her to understand anything that comes her way.

You could say they’re soulmates, but if they are, they’re soulmates from another lifetime. They’re the type of soulmates with a story trapped in a prequel, unable to move forward into the first chapter. With their common interests, they have the capability to become a power couple. Their only downfall is how they’re unknowingly waiting for the right time and place, a time and place that’s not happening.

She’s a face that’ll never be in his memories. The times when he wishes he could find true love, he’s unaware of her existence. He’s oblivious to his idea of a perfect girl living her life somewhere else. He’s too caught up in his YouTube career to have time for a relationship, though it hasn’t stopped him from dreaming about the day he’ll meet his future wife.

He’s a face occupying her thoughts ever since she started watching one of his YouTube videos. She was captivated by his infectious humor and passion for the nerd culture. As a phangirl, she longed to meet the man who can draw her effortless smiles. She goes to VidCon and went to watch one of their shows during TATINOF. She hopes to see her idol and thank him (and his partner-in-crime) for bringing light in her lie, but as parallel lines go, those lines will never meet.

It’s a one-sided, indirect connection. She knows so much about him; he knows absolutely nothing about her. He’s the best friend/pretend brother/potential boyfriend she wishes to have; she’s the stranger that remains as a stranger to him.

Perhaps fate always had different plans for them. Life goes on. She grows out of her YouTube crush for him, marrying a different person who she loves unconditionally. She chooses stability and maturity. There are ocassions when an inkling of doubt crosses her mind, as if there’s a piece she’s yearning for to bring complete satisfaction to her humanity. However, it isn’t anything she worries over too much – she’s happily married with a person who wants to build a family with her.

And that’s the thing about parallel lines. What you think brings you ultimate happiness may not make you fully happy after all. Maybe you’re missing out on a lifestyle that could’ve occurred in a split second. Maybe the love you have now is a love only meant to fill the void of romance in your life. In actuality, you never developed a relationship with the true love of your life.

These two people… they’re an encounter not meant to be. Maybe it is in a parallel universe. After all, parallel lines are bound to intersect in an environment that’s just as parallel, right?

They’ll never know, and that’s that.

[mariacallous]

I don't know if I agree with everything in this article, but it definitely is making me think:

Of All the threats posed by Twitter since it fell under sketchy new management in October, one of them doubles as a promise. Twitter will devolve into pornography.

Porn’s not my cup of tea, but you have to admire its ferocity and cunning. It’s a mega-genre, something the poet-philosopher Timothy Morton might call a hyperobject, ungraspable in its ubiquity and scale. In effect, porn online behaves like a predator plant, saturating the pixels with flesh colors, choking off biodiverse memes, and sowing vast digital acreage with salt.

Tumblr, which started as an artsy microblogging service in 2007, lost its allure when it was overrun by porn five years later. Chatroulette, which was founded in 2009 as a whimsical way to meet strangers, traded its lightheartedness for dick pics and leering goons almost immediately. OnlyFans, which began in 2016 as a platform for performers to post videos, now consists mostly of porn created by sex workers.

But most companies aim to marginalize porn. While OnlyFans has surrendered, Chatroulette and Tumblr appear to take a firmer stand than ever against it. Facebook and YouTube conscript armies of algorithms and humans to banish porn in deference to advertisers who don’t want brands debased by unwholesome adjacencies. Alone among the big social media services, Twitter allows users to post what it calls “intimate media.” But the platform also permanently suspends users who post upskirts, creepshots, revenge porn, nonconsensual erotica, images shot with hidden cameras, or media accompanied by incitements to violence. Pornographic images, which make up about 13 percent of all tweets, cannot yet be directly sold.

Porn in its place may be bankable, in other words, but too much of it in a venue styled as PG can scare off much bigger revenue streams.

Or so popular wisdom has it. Twitter’s new management, as usual, dissents. The volatile Chief Twit, Elon Musk, has torn down guardrails, eliminated moderators, and alienated advertisers all on his own with tiresome shitposting and hospitality to hate speech. Musk, whose personal fortune fell by $100 billion in 2022, pretends to insouciance about money in a way that’s unconvincing and hard to watch. When General Mills, General Motors, Pfizer, Ford, and Mondeléz International (the august maker of Oreos) stopped advertising on Twitter last fall, Musk lashed out at corporate America for its failure to respect the wishes of the founding fathers, who presciently mandated advertising on Twitter in 1789. Unchastened, half of the platform’s top 100 advertisers were gone in Musk’s first month.

Without moderators or advertisers, swaths of Twitter are now mangy empty lots crawling with vandals, lechers, con men, and swastikas. The time is perhaps right for porn, then. Porn abhors a vacuum. Especially where it can be ennobled as constitutional duty.

How in the world is this good news? I’ll tell you why it’s good news to me. Not only will it make Twitter2 easily quittable, but it’s pleasing to see things become what they deep down are. Twitter has slouched toward porn for years. “Slipping into DMs” is only one salacious meme in what long ago became an orgy of hyperstimulation, with people baring their souls, posting thirst traps, coyly subtweeting, and of course negging and prodding and simultaneously secreting dopamine and cortisol and God knows what other precious bodily fluids.

“I am mad for it to be in contact with me,” Walt Whitman wrote, of what he called “life’s atmosphere.” No doubt he also meant contact with the bodies of the many people he cruised and desired. Likewise, Twitter seems to offer contact with everyone, and the interface exists to make users mad for contact as it conjures life’s atmosphere of abrasiveness streaked with sweetness. The real Twitter was the friends we made along the way, as someone has surely tweeted.

That’s gone now. When the chief rolls in with tryhard trolling that misses the mark of humor, squealing in annoying feedback loops from his Wall of Sound, the warm chatter among the regulars goes silent. A pall falls. When Musk tweeted some horror fiction alleging that the spouse of a prominent elected official might have been perversely complicit in cracking his own skull with a hammer, something at the heart of Twitter seemed to die. Later, when he bellowed that Twitter in 2020 had abridged the constitutional right of trolls to post a Hunter Biden dick pic, another influx of refugees poured into Mastodon, which presents itself as a more normal haven for people fleeing Twitter.

“The Internet Is for Porn” was the catchiest song from Avenue Q, which debuted 20 years ago. That was before broadband, before social media, before the hijack of information space by influence operations and strongman solo acts like GOP trinity Kanye, Elon, and Trump. It was axiomatic back then. Porn was the internet’s reason for being, its prime directive. And it would have stayed that way had web information not been domesticated by corporations that wanted to hack our worldviews and pick our pockets for data, attention, and mobile payments.

But through all this, Twitter has retained the spirit of porn. Like porn, Twitter is not a family affair; for many, it’s also a shameful habit that they’re forever trying to quit. Since 2007, I’ve turned to Twitter to—the only word I can think of is learn. But I know its traps well. Users of Twitter, like consumers of porn, find themselves amused and stimulated, and then scroll compulsively, chasing the dragon of human connection, only to find themselves scrolling through doom, and finally scrolling for doom.

Information may or may not want to be free, but it often wants to be porn. What Musk has considered doing, according to various reports, is introduce paywalled video that would allow performers to get paid while Twitter takes a cut. Sound at all familiar? It’s the OnlyFans model, complete with a rip-off of the OnlyFans interface. The performers it’s tailor-made for are not, as it happens, cellists or mimes. They’re sex workers. And for discerning high rollers who prefer the backroom to the club, Musk has floated the idea of offering paid DMs—to be slipped into as usual, but for a fee. The online-porn business demands extreme discipline to keep it from turning criminal and leaves room for little else, but edgelord Musk is likely to fare better in the demimonde than he is on the main stage.

At the very end of 2022, NSFW content was the fastest-growing sector of English-language Twitter. It’s the way of the world, especially without diligent moderation. At the same time, the new louche Twitter comes with a harum-scarum idea of “free speech” as singularly applicable to obscene provocateurs like Jordan Peterson and Marjorie Taylor Greene, formerly banned figures who were warmly welcomed back to the site in November. “This is a battle for the future of civilization,” the Chief Twit tweeted. “If free speech is lost even in America, tyranny is all that lies ahead.”

If Twitter is going to prey on users with hyper-arousing material and the illusion of intimacy, why not go all the way? Twitter should admit what it’s up to, tell risk-averse advertisers to go blow if they’re prudes, and turn full red-light district. It might scare away the squares, but Twitter can charge a mint for spank-bank material, and a premium for the kind that somehow prevents tyranny.

[robgrayofficial]

HAPPPPPPY SATURDAY, PATRIOTS!This is your girl u/IvaginaryFriend here and I'm back at it again with a weeks worth of spice for you lovely Deplorables! (◠‿◠✿)Before we officially get this recap started, if you happened to miss any past recaps you can catch them here!Sunday, June 10th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Fair Trade is now to be called Fool Trade if it is not Reciprocal. According to a Canada release, they make almost 100 Billion Dollars in Trade with U.S. (guess they were bragging and got caught!). Minimum is 17B. Tax Dairy from us at 270%. Then Justin acts hurt when called out!Why should I, as President of the United States, allow countries to continue to make Massive Trade Surpluses, as they have for decades, while our Farmers, Workers & Taxpayers have such a big and unfair price to pay? Not fair to the PEOPLE of America! $800 Billion Trade Deficit... ... ....And add to that the fact that the U.S. pays close to the entire cost of NATO-protecting many of these same countries that rip us off on Trade (they pay only a fraction of the cost-and laugh!). The European Union had a $151 Billion Surplus-should pay much more for Military! ... ....Germany pays 1% (slowly) of GDP towards NATO, while we pay 4% of a MUCH larger GDP. Does anybody believe that makes sense? We protect Europe (which is good) at great financial loss, and then get unfairly clobbered on Trade. Change is coming!Great to be in Singapore, excitement in the air!Sorry, we cannot let our friends, or enemies, take advantage of us on Trade anymore. We must put the American worker first!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Cultural enrichment as its finestThe version they didn't want you to see.Canada does it: everything is fine. American does it: REEE RACISMWhen you are done making the g7 your bitch and you have to go end the Korean war🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:GLOBALISTS BTFO: "WE ARE THE PIGGY BANK THAT EVERYONE IS ROBBING. THAT ENDS."BTFO SocialistMy eyebrows are real.Just a picture of Ivanka Trump colluding with some RussiansMonday, June 11th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Donald J. Trump Meets with the Prime Minister of SingaporePresident Trump Participates in a 1:1 Meeting with North Korean Leader Kim Jong UnPresident Trump Participates in an Expanded Bilateral Meeting with North Korean Leader Kim Jong UnPresident Trump and North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un Signs a Declaration of Friendship2018 Singapore SummitSeventeen Nominations Sent to the Senate Today🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Thank you Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:‘We’re America, Bitch’THE FIRST HANDSHAKE BETWEEN NK & US LEADERS. HISTORIC!!Kim Jong Un Can't Stop Smiling After President Trump Said They Will Have A Fantastic Relationship Then Kim Shocks The World And Tells President Trump He Wants To Move On From The Past !!HISTORIC!! #MAGAAnother Supreme Court win: 'Supreme Court allows Ohio voter purge'In case you guys were wondering, she's there in case somebody needs to be bitch slapped...especially Fake News!!!PRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:Briefing by Secretary of State Michael Pompeo🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:And right over here we have the fake news. Nobody likes them.NO. FUCKS. GIVEN.Watch the left eat itself.Two terms. Two scoops. Two genders. Two cakes.The Democrat Party is now officially more hostile and dangerous to the US than North KoreaTuesday, June 12th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Participates in a Media AvailabilityPresident Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate Personnel to Key Administration Posts🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Meetings between staffs and representatives are going well and quickly....but in the end, that doesn’t matter. We will all know soon whether or not a real deal, unlike those of the past, can happen!Stock Market up almost 40% since the Election, with 7 Trillion Dollars of U.S. value built throughout the economy. Lowest unemployment rate in many decades, with Black & Hispanic unemployment lowest in History, and Female unemployment lowest in 21 years. Highest confidence ever!The fact that I am having a meeting is a major loss for the U.S., say the haters & losers. We have our hostages, testing, research and all missle launches have stoped, and these pundits, who have called me wrong from the beginning, have nothing else they can say! We will be fine!Just won big Supreme Court decision on Voting! Great News!Our Great Larry Kudlow, who has been working so hard on trade and the economy, has just suffered a heart attack. He is now in Walter Reed Medical Center.SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Troll level - ExpertBREAKING: TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN MANAGER WANTS CNN REPORTER'S CREDENTIALS REVOKED OVER QUESTIONS DURING NORTH KOREA SIGNINGFake News Jim Acosta justifying his rude questions at the Singapore summit: "Hey if they're not going to let me in the fucking meeting, that's what's going to happen… That's the way it goes, baby."Amazing video Trump showed Kim🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:HAHAFoot. Meet. Mouth.This man is 72 years old and hasn't slept in 22 hours. This is the President I voted for!Someone's JealousCurrent emotion of the leftLiterally Reddit right nowWednesday, June 13th:TODAY'S ACTION:Historic Summit with North Korea is a Tremendous Moment for the World🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:My political representatives didn’t want me to get involved in the Mark Sanford primary thinking that Sanford would easily win - but with a few hours left I felt that Katie was such a good candidate, and Sanford was so bad, I had to give it a shot. Congrats to Katie Arrington!Robert De Niro, a very Low IQ individual, has received too many shots to the head by real boxers in movies. I watched him last night and truly believe he may be “punch-drunk.” I guess he doesn’t... ... ...realize the economy is the best it’s ever been with employment being at an all time high, and many companies pouring back into our country. Wake up Punchy!Congratulations to Corey Stewart for his great victory for Senator from Virginia. Now he runs against a total stiff, Tim Kaine, who is weak on crime and borders, and wants to raise your taxes through the roof. Don’t underestimate Corey, a major chance of winning!Just landed - a long trip, but everybody can now feel much safer than the day I took office. There is no longer a Nuclear Threat from North Korea. Meeting with Kim Jong Un was an interesting and very positive experience. North Korea has great potential for the future!Before taking office people were assuming that we were going to War with North Korea. President Obama said that North Korea was our biggest and most dangerous problem. No longer - sleep well tonight!We save a fortune by not doing war games, as long as we are negotiating in good faith - which both sides are!The U.S., together with Mexico and Canada, just got the World Cup. Congratulations - a great deal of hard work!Oil prices are too high, OPEC is at it again. Not good!So funny to watch the Fake News, especially NBC and CNN. They are fighting hard to downplay the deal with North Korea. 500 days ago they would have “begged” for this deal-looked like war would break out. Our Country’s biggest enemy is the Fake News so easily promulgated by fools!Senator Claire McCaskill of the GREAT State of Missouri flew around in a luxurious private jet during her RV tour of the state. RV’s are not for her. People are really upset, so phony! Josh Hawley should win big, and has my full endorsement.Congratulations to Danny Tarkanian on his big GOP primary win in Nevada. Danny worked hard an got a great result. Looking good in November!Congratulations to @KevinCramer on his huge win in North Dakota. We need Kevin in the Senate, and I strongly endorse him. Heidi voted NO on our Tax Cuts, and always will vote no when we need her. Kevin is strong on Crime & Borders, big on Cutting Taxes!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Tommy Robinson sent to Muslim Prison, the time to stand up is NOWMike Pence casts tie-breaking vote to allow states to defund Planned Parenthood. Prepare for internet meltdown. SBC18Food Stamp Enrollment Dips to Lowest Level in 8 YearsTrump Nominated For Nobel Peace Price... By NorwayTrump shows off 'The Beast' ( presidential limo ) to Kim during historic Singapore summit🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:POWERFULRare photo of our President shitposting in real timeWhen your attempt at political humor results in a massive redpilling.New "Make America Safe" painting by Jon McNaughton "If we don’t build the wall soon, we’ll be overrun by the weeds."The greatest moment of the Trump Kim Summit...Thursday, June 14th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Nominate Personnel to Key Administration Posts🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The Republican Party is starting to show very big numbers. People are starting to see what is being done. Results are speaking loudly. North Korea and our greatest ever economy are leading the way!Now that I am back from Singapore, where we had a great result with respect to North Korea, the thought process must sadly go back to the Witch Hunt, always remembering that there was No Collusion and No Obstruction of the fabricated No Crime.So, the Democrats make up a phony crime, Collusion with the Russians, pay a fortune to make the crime sound real, illegally leak (Comey) classified information so that a Special Councel will be appointed, and then Collude to make this pile of garbage take on life in Fake News!The sleazy New York Democrats, and their now disgraced (and run out of town) A.G. Eric Schneiderman, are doing everything they can to sue me on a foundation that took in $18,800,000 and gave out to charity more money than it took in, $19,200,000. I won’t settle this case!... ... ....Schneiderman, who ran the Clinton campaign in New York, never had the guts to bring this ridiculous case, which lingered in their office for almost 2 years. Now he resigned his office in disgrace, and his disciples brought it when we would not settle.Happy 243rd Birthday to the @USArmy! Thank you for your bravery, sacrifices, and dedication to the U.S.A. We love you!Happy #FlagDay🇺🇸SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT!!FULL INSPECTOR GENERAL REPORT - Ditch the SSRI's, double up on the vaccines and GET IN HERE, PEDES! We're going full autistic on this!STRZOK: ‘We’ll Stop’ Trump Presidency‘Viva Le Resistance’: Mueller Team Attorney Sent Anti-Trump TextsThis is huge. Boston’s BWH Hospital removing images of historic doctors from public view because workers complained they’re all white. First neurosurgeon in the world. Nobel winner for first organ transplant. We should be proud of our hospital’s accomplishments not ashamed of their skin.PRESS BRIEFINGS, INTERVIEWS, RALLIES:6/14/18: White House Press Briefing🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:FBI Director Christopher Wray holds a press conferenceIt’s GETOUS Birthday. Praise Kek, How will you celebrate this holiday. I plan to have the Standard Trump McDonald’s order then Two Scoops of Ice Cream and a Diet Coke while reading the IG reporthmmmmmmm"FBI says FBI is innocent, says FBI."Friday, June 15th:TODAY'S ACTION:A Message from President Donald J. Trump🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:FBI Agent Peter Strzok, who headed the Clinton & Russia investigations, texted to his lover Lisa Page, in the IG Report, that “we’ll stop” candidate Trump from becoming President. Doesn’t get any lower than that!The IG Report is a total disaster for Comey, his minions and sadly, the FBI. Comey will now officially go down as the worst leader, by far, in the history of the FBI. I did a great service to the people in firing him. Good Instincts. Christopher Wray will bring it proudly back!Thank you for all of the compliments on getting the World Cup to come to the U.S.A., Mexico and Canada. I worked hard on this, along with a Great Team of talented people. We never fail, and it will be a great World Cup! A special thanks to Bob Kraft for excellent advice.U.S.A. Jobs numbers are the BEST in 44 years. If my opponent (the Democrats) had won the election, they would have raised taxes substantially and increased regulations - the economy, and jobs, would have been a disaster!Wow, the highest rated (by far) morning show, @foxandfriends, is on the Front Lawn of the White House. Maybe I’ll have to take an unannounced trip down to see them?“Why in the world didn’t Barack Obama fire this guy (Comey)?” asks Mark Levin!(Retweeting Fox&Friends) @jasoninthehouse: All of this started because Hillary Clinton set up her private server(Retweeting Fox&Friends) @jasoninthehouse: Anything Mueller is doing with his investigation is tainted by the anti-Trump FBI agents(Retweeting Fox&Friends) @jasoninthehouse: The DOJ IG report is 562 pages of nothing but bias and animus(Retweeting Fox&Friends) “This is one of the most damning rebukes of the FBI that I think we’ve ever seen.” -@jasoninthehouse(Retweeting Fox&Friends) DOJ IG report finds that an FBI lawyer told a bureau employee “Viva le resistance” after President Trump was elected(Retweeting Fox&Friends) IG REPORT BOMBSHELL: Anti-Trump FBI agent Peter Strzok texted his lover Lisa Page "we'll stop" Trump from becoming president“Donald Trump was 100% right to fire James Comey.” Mark LevinSIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Obama had direct contact with Clinton on private email server: IG reportUnder reported: FBI Agent acknowledges that Hillary's IT Guy "lied his ass off." Did we ever see ANY charges? Nope. Scandalous.Trump: ‘I May Get Involved’ in Justice Department ‘If It Gets Worse’Trump says he will not sign moderate 'Dreamer' immigration billFBI Employee: ‘Trump’s Supporters Are All Poor, Uneducated, Lazy POS…Pence is stupid.’ Another agent called us "retards." I was not even used to being in a cult yet. Fire these morons NOW🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:EverytimeDon Jr. Retweeted it!! Sad Ben Rhodes - Presidential Birthday RemixOoooh Noooo. Paul Manafort’s bail was revoked— he is going to jail.Obama's Left wrist is his foreign policy.Saturday, June 16th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Democrats can fix their forced family breakup at the Border by working with Republicans on new legislation, for a change! This is why we need more Republicans elected in November. Democrats are good at only three things, High Taxes, High Crime and Obstruction. Sad!My supporters are the smartest, strongest, most hard working and most loyal that we have seen in our countries history. It is a beautiful thing to watch as we win elections and gather support from all over the country. As we get stronger, so does our country. Best numbers ever!The IG Report totally destroys James Comey and all of his minions including the great lovers, Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, who started the disgraceful Witch Hunt against so many innocent people. It will go down as a dark and dangerous period in American History!“Americans must demand their lawmakers support the legislation we need to defeat MS-13 once and for all, and to ensure every American child in every American community can grow up in safety, and grow up in security, and in peace.”SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE!Savage reply by POTUSTHIS RIGHT HERE, this nationally televised display of overt double standard, was the second biggest Red Pill (to date)🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Weekend Fun Ben Garrison Cartoon The "It Will Make Heads Explode" PrizeFBI: Report Didn't Mention BiasWEEEEW LAD!Without further ado, some jams to help you groove through all this WINNING!!!InvincibleGhost townStarvingAftergoldHard To loveMAGA ON PATRIOTS! #robgray