Tumgik
#my friend say be that artist so LETS GO!!!
mini-mews · 1 day
Text
Tumblr media
to the beat of your heart
enhypen lee heeseung x gn!reader
wc: 1.1k
summary: heeseung meets you outside after avoiding you at a house party, when you just happen to call him the wrong name that throws your whole relationship into question.
warnings: non-idol au, alcohol/drugs mention, heeseung is toxic, kinda situationship vibes- reader and heeseung's relationship is unclear, no happy ending
a/n: First off thank you so much to my lovely @inkchwe for beta reading and helping me edit. I want to turn this into a sort of series of toxic enhypen so please look forward to that!!
toxic love series masterlist ✰ heeseung ✰ jay ✰ jake ✰ sunghoon ✰ sunoo ✰ jungwon ✰ ni-ki
THIS DOES NOT REFLECT THE ARTIST'S BEHAVIOUR OR ACTIONS - THIS IS A WORK OF FICTION
✰࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✧࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✰
Loud music reverbs through your body as you try to stabilize your breathing. Tapping your foot against the patio, you wait for Heeseung to join you outside. It's been 10 minutes since you texted him, seeing him read and not respond feeding into your anxieties. A million thoughts a second come and go too soon, building onto an already nauseous feeling. Music seems to match your rapidly beating heart as it bleeds out from the house.
It was only after you saw him coming through the door, a girl wrapped around his arm that really made your heart sink. Heeseung turned back and gave her a sweet smile, saying something that you couldn’t quite make out before she lets go of him. She leans up to whisper in his ear, biting back a smile as he nods. 
He finally turns to you standing a few feet away, not before allowing his eyes to follow the girl swaying her hips as she walks back inside. You clench  your jaw as he walks up to you, a lazy smile playing on his lips, “What’s up sweetheart?” 
“Where have you been? I’ve been texting you for the past 10 minutes trying to find you. And I saw you leaving me on read…” Attempting to keep your voice stable, you meet his eyes. Heeseung gives a little shrug before pulling out his phone, “Oh yeah sorry, was catching up with some old friends, must not have heard it buzz.” Quickly dismissing you, he opens a chat and replying to someone else.
“It’s fine I guess, Hee. Can we get going? It’s already getting late and I have early classes tomorrow.” Suddenly his fingers stop typing, seemingly frozen as he stares at his phone. 
“Hee? Are you okay?” Stepping closer till your chests are almost pressed together, his eyes snap back to meet yours. 
“What did you call me?” 
Heeseung’s eyes are now boring into yours. His stare feels so intense you unconsciously sink into yourself a bit. “Uh I- I said your name?”
“You didn’t. You said something else. What did you say?” Heeseung’s voice comes out short and blunt.
He closes the distance, almost glaring down at you with how cold his eyes had become. The height difference had always been noticeable between you two but now it felt like he was towering over you, completely isolating you both from the rest of the world. The music buzzes into the background as your heart drums in your ears. 
“Hee? What’s wrong with you, I don’t unders—" "That's what's wrong, why are you calling me that?” 
The silence is deafening, suffocating. 
“What are you talking about? It’s your name! Am I suddenly not allowed to say your name? Seriously, I don’t know what's up with you, but I just want to leave, so can we—” 
“We?” Heeseung stares down his nose at you, eyebrows furrowed, “Listen you can go home if ya want, but I ain’t leavin’ yet. I got some friends waitin’ for me.” 
It must be the alcohol, that’s the only logical reason you can think of. Or maybe he took something? Heeseung was never known for his drug use, but maybe something happened tonight when you two got separated. “What’s going on with you? Did you take something?” Heeseung just stares down at you, eyebrows still furrowed. “What’s going on with you?” That question makes you stiffen up, his tone was ice cold as he looked through you. You had never felt so small in front of him. 
The few months you’ve gotten closer to Heeseung, he’s never been so cold with you. Always making an effort to be gentle towards you. It was one of the first things that drew your attention, Heeseung’s famously known ‘bambi eyes’. Eyes that held such comfort, now holding you down in place under his gaze. 
“Hee?” It was barely a whisper but something glazed over his eyes. “What makes you think you can call me that?” It feels like something snaps in you. Nothing's made sense this entire night. “I don’t understand what you mean! ‘Hee’ is your name!” Your chest aches as your throat constricts, emotions overwhelming your body.
Everything is whirling around too quickly, nothing is making sense. 
“I never said you could call me that. Why are you acting like you’re allowed to?” A cool breeze blows through you, the music from inside still pumps through your veins. “Are you being serious right now Heeseung?” 
His eyes widened for a second seemingly taken aback by your reaction. “I told you why are you—” “Told me what?! That I’m nothing to you!” Tears flood your eyes but you refuse to let them fall. It’s a misunderstanding.
“So all our time together was nothing? Everything we’ve said, done for each other, nothing. You can’t possibly be saying that.” Your breathing gets labored as he cuts you off. 
“I told you at the beginning of us that I don’t want anything serious, yet you were the one who didn’t listen. How is that on me?” 
It feels like a bucket of ice water was just dumped on your head. Goosebumps rise across your arms. Looking up at him trying to meet his eyes, Heeseung looks past you.
How could he say that so casually?
A choked sob escapes you as tears streak down your face, chest squeezing all the air out of your lungs. It sets a sense of emptiness in you. Nothing. You were nothing to him. All the time spent together, the quiet whispers of romantic feelings, intimate nights together. 
Nothing. 
Everything you gave for him, crumbling before you. 
He feels too awkward to look at you, drumming his fingers on his jeans waiting for something to happen, for you to say something. But it never comes. Heeseung never expected this reaction from you, he told you that he didn’t want anything serious, it's really not his fault if you caught feelings. 
Looking up as Heeseung stood stiffly in front of you, refusing to acknowledge you. 
Your chest rises and drops quickly, trying to calm your breathing. You will yourself to not let him see you cry over him. Whispering out, one last plea to him.  “Heeseung look at me, please” 
Heeseung looks down meeting your eyes, those soft bambi eyes looking back at you. Those eyes you fell so in love with, now causing the burn of regret and hatred within you. “You’re heartless Lee.” Your blunt tone catches him off-guard as you push past him, making your shoulders bump as you return to the party. You allow yourself to get lost in the drunk bodies dancing to the heartbeat of the booming music. Eyes slide shut as bodies surround you, the air heavy of smoke as the music drums on, leading your heart beat.
✰࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✧࿒ ჻࿒ ჻✰
i hope you enjoyed, please consider leaving a like/comment/reblog as any interaction is greatly appreciated and motivating! ©mini-mews
tags: @sweetvenomnet @inkchwe
71 notes · View notes
the-way-astray · 2 days
Note
What's your favorite cannon thing you truly like about Keefe Sencen
I DARE you 😈
i've been dared . . .
definitely my favorite thing is the fact that in flashback/legacy he was 100% not only supportive of sophie and fitz's relationship despite having a crush on sophie, but also actively tries to keep sophie from doing something that could even be interpreted as implicative. there was a poll a while ago about whether people thought sophie and keefe were (even unintentionally) emotionally cheating on fitz, and i answered a hard no. and the main reason for that was because of keefe. he does so much to try to keep sophitz together during that time, including telling sophie to confide in fitz, telling her to tell him about the matchmaking thing, shutting ro down (or at least doing his best to), and generally speaking, he did not have to do all that. like, yeah, any decent person would be supportive and not actively try to break their two friends in a relationship up, but keefe goes way beyond that and actively tells sophie exactly what to do in order to keep her relationship with fitz intact. every time fitz "catches" him with sophie it's lowkey painful to think about what keefe must be feeling because he spends so much time trying to prevent that exact thing from happening. there's even a line in legacy where sophie admits this herself. one of the only times he uses his empathy not dubiously is at the end of legacy, where sophie "tells" him (i use the term loosely) that she and fitz broke up. and he immediately says "i'm sorry", expressing out loud his sympathy for their relationship's end.
(one thing i've heard people misinterpret a lot in anti keefe things is the "blond hottie" line, which they say is an inappropriate thing to say about someone in a relationship. that was not said by keefe. that was said by ro. she says that when she's trying to convince sophie that bronte can't be her bio dad, to which keefe then says "unless she gets that from her mom". that's all he says. sophie then wonders whether that meant he agreed with the blond hottie assessment, but that doesn't come from anything he actually says.)
it surprises me that i haven't seen keefe lovers talk more about the fact that fitz literally commissioned him to draw him and sophie in a very romantic pose in a very romantic spot and keefe did it. so i'm going to talk about it. once again, this is not just baseline "my crush is in a relationship, oh well, guess i won't interfere" stuff. this is going above and beyond to keep sophie and fitz together. again, keefe has a crush on sophie. i'm not an artist, but obviously art doesn't just pop up out of thin air. he spent some time making that drawing. and all that time is yet another reminder that his crush is in a relationship. he could've told fitz no, made up some excuse as to why he couldn't do it, and that would've been well within his right. but he didn't. so that's a thing worth mentioning. (i'm going to just say i don't like the argument that fitz knew what he was doing when he asked keefe for the drawing, though. i think fitz just thought "sophie likes keefe's drawings! let me get her one of those" which is sweet in and of itself.)
in unlocked, keefe thinks something like "he definitely should not be happy that two people close to him were going through a rough patch. but, if he was being honest, he wasn't really sad" or something to that effect. and i like that. he has a crush on sophie, so of course part of him will be happy she's now single again. it's realistic. i've definitely talked about this before, but jealousy isn't a character flaw to me. it's only the actions that a character does because of their jealousy that defines whether or not it's a bad thing. but the thing with keefe is that he never allows the fact that he likes sophie to outwardly affect sophie and fitz's relationship in any negative way when they're tentatively dating. sophie and fitz fell apart for a lot of reasons, but the reasons were entirely on sophie and fitz, and had nothing to do with keefe himself. in fact, you could argue they only lasted as long as they did because of keefe.
i complained a lot about how much he doesn't shut up about his hair in my rant. but that was mostly at his humor style and the fact that he literally talks about it at the weirdest times (in his registry file . . . ) more so than the fact itself. and truthfully, he doesn't even talk about it that much. but i think it makes a lot of sense that he takes pride in it. it's the physical manifestation of rebellion against his parents who have controlled every other aspect of his life. he's also an artist, and i think it's a pretty neat thing that that extends to the way he styles his hair. also it looks good. i will die on this hill. just don't look at the laura art. jason chan is my king and keefe's hair is very cool and- *gunshot*
there's also a handful of moments where keefe uses his humor appropriately, to ease tension. best example i can think of is the one katie brought up in this post which is the moment in flashback right before the celestial festival (climax). magnate leto gives them all these sparkler things to light if they're in danger, and keefe sets off a couple prematurely "just to make sure they work" *wink wink nudge nudge* and sophie specifically says the "bit of levity" helped tame the "monster" she's been battling the whole book. when he's able to use his humor appropriately, and not at weird times about weird things, he can be a valuable source of comfort. these moments are unfortunately few and far between, but they do exist.
keefe is also good at calming sophie down when she's panicking, when he's not using his empathy to force her to tell him her feelings. i personally like it more when he's comforting her using his words than his emotional breezes, because that speaks more to his personality than it does to his ability to use his emotional breezes to calm her down. another example katie discusses in the post above is when he's talking to her about the bronte-is-her-bio-dad theory. sophie was panicking because she was thinking about the implications of it (prentice, him acting horrible to her, etc.) and keefe brings her back down to earth with his reassurances that this doesn't change anything about her. when she says bronte can't know she knows, he immediately gets her to reconsider in a gentle way, because like. that's the entire point of her search for her bio parents. he does all this using his words (actually i just checked and he does use his emotional breezes a couple of times but his words do have an impact on their own so we're disregarding that), which does prove that he's very good at knowing what to say to keep her calm.
(also the fact that he was even helping her search for her bio parents is another example of him going above and beyond to keep her relationship to fitz intact. he didn't have to do that at all.)
and lastly, i think i mentioned this in my rant and maybe a couple other places, but i think keefe's jealousy when it comes to family is written very realistically. in neverseen, he's jealous of fitz, biana, sophie, and dex when they hug their parents, and there's a line where he specifically says "i hate watching it. them and della" (them referring to fitz and biana). in unlocked, he's again jealous of dex's family and wishes he'd been born into a family like his. and i think that's written really well. it's pretty subtle and not really shoved in your face, too. i'm pretty sure there's a total of three times it gets brought up: the "them and della" line, one line at the end of neverseen where sophie and dex are hugging edaline and kesler, and then the line in unlocked. very blink and you miss it but i like that. it's one of the few things the narrative doesn't dump a truckload of pity on keefe for, and it makes the few times it is brought up even sadder.
oh, and also i think he's handsome. sue me.
26 notes · View notes
lottins-only · 23 hours
Text
I love you, it's ruining my life | Part V
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: Kylian x black!fem!Reader
word count: 4.5k
part one, part two, part three, part four
V. May 2024
She’d gotten the invitation in the mail a few weeks ago, a creamy white envelope announcing the upcoming wedding of Julien, a childhood friend from Bondy, to his fiancee of several years. Seeing his name on the paper had brought a smile to her face; it had been years since she’d seen him.
She’d be in Paris to visit her parents anyway, it would be a crime not to go.
She’d quickly written to him to say congratulations, and Julien had texted back a thank you. Moments later, he’d texted her something she’d expected. 
Not sure if you’re still in touch with Kylian, but if you can let him know about the wedding, that’d be great. We haven’t seen each other in ages!
Unsurprisingly, the response she’d gotten from Kylian was a firm and resounding no. 
“Why not?” She’d asked over the phone.
“Because of a lot of things, Y/N” There was a lot of chatter from Kylian’s end, she had caught him just as he’d entered the locker room after a grueling match. 
“Well, what are those things?” She’d asked. 
“I can’t just go to a wedding” He’d grumbled. “Haven’t been able to do that in years, in fact. I  have to think about bringing security and all that stuff”
She’d expected he’d say that, so her response was quick. “So bring your bodyguard. I’m sure Julien and his fiance won’t mind”
“And let someone leak a story to the press about how I’m a stuck up asshole who brings a hundred people with him everywhere he goes?” He’d snorted. “No thanks”
She’d rolled her eyes. “I don’t think anyone we grew up with would do that, Kylian”
“How would I know? I haven’t spoken to those people in years” 
“I haven’t either.”
“Exactly” He’d said. “Let’s just not go. It’s Ousmane’s birthday party that weekend  anyway. Actually, he said to tell you that you should come”
She’d frowned. “So you’d rather go to a party than to your childhood friend’s wedding?”
“It’s just a wedding Y/N” He’d said, his tone weary. “People get married all the time”
She couldn’t believe how mean and dismissive he was being.
“And get divorced all the time” He’d continued, letting out a humorless chuckle. “The stats on that are crazy, actually. Someone should let Julien know”
“What? Kylian, that’s so harsh. Why are you talking like that?” She was starting to get angry now.
“I’m not being harsh. Just honest” He’d said “Look, the last thing I need right now is to go to a public event, okay? I’m sick of people asking me about where I’ll be next year, and I’m sure as hell sick of having a hundred cameras pointed at me”
“Ok, then.” She said, her irritation evident in her voice. “You have fun at the party. I’ll go to the wedding.”
“But–”
“Tell Ousmane happy birthday for me”
He’d paused before responding with a resigned “Fine”
They hung up after that, goodbyes curt. She didn’t know what was going on with him, but he’d been very tired and irritable lately. He called less and less, and took longer to text back whenever she reached out.  She suspected it had to do with his contract with PSG, which she knew was nearing its end, but they didn’t speak about things like that. If he had news, he’d tell her. So far he hadn’t said anything, which meant things were probably still up in the air and it was troubling him. She’d chalked it up to that, and was therefore able to quickly move on from the conversation. 
Tumblr media
The day of the wedding arrived, and Y/N found herself at the crowded venue of the wedding reception, wearing a silky blue dress she’d bought a long time ago but had saved for an occasion like this. She was seated next to Manon, a girl who used to live two doors down from her, and Anna, who she knew was Kylian’s first kiss and who she’d consequently been very envious of as a pre-teen. It was great catching up with the two and reminiscing about the old days. It turned out Manon worked in marketing while Anna was a tattoo artist. 
“So, are you and Kylian still friends?” Anna asked, taking a sip from her drink. The toasts had been made, and dinner had been eaten. They were now watching the bride and groom take the floor for their first dance. 
“Yeah” She said. “We’re still friends”
“Well, wave him over then. He looks like he’s lost” Anna nodded towards something behind her. 
Y/N whirled in her seat. Sure enough there was Kylian, his head down, weaving his way through the tables. People looked up to stare with hushed gasps as he passed by them. Y/N raised her arms to wave, and thankfully his bodyguard noticed and started guiding Kylian towards their table. 
“Hi” Kylian said, smiling tightly as he pulled a chair and took a seat.
“Hi” She said. “I thought you weren’t coming”
He shrugged. “You were mad at me”
“And I was right to be” She said, smiling despite herself. He looked handsome, she could tell he’d gotten a fresh cut. 
“Sure” He rolled his eyes before turning to their tablemates. Anna and Manon were briefly starstruck as he greeted them, as if they forgot they’d grown up with him. The initial awkwardness wore off quickly though, and before long they were all chatting animatedly. 
“Remember when you two–” Manon chuckled,  gesturing between Kylian and Anna.
“Ah, yes. When we dated for a whopping two days in the seventh grade” Anna laughed. “I do remember that” 
Kylian laughed along with her, shaking his head in embarrassment. 
Y/N couldn’t help but snicker. “Two days? What happened?”
Kylian opened his mouth to respond but Anna beat him to it. “We kissed one day, and then the next day was valentine's day. I found out he gave you a card, while I got nothing. So I dumped him”
Y/N gasped, elbowing Kylian. “Oh my god, I remember that. Those anonymous valentine’s cards we did in class. That was the first year someone sent me one, I was dying to find out who it was. I didn’t know it was you”
“Oh, we all knew” Manon said while Anna nodded in agreement. 
“Everyone knew he had a crush on you”  Anna said. “At least everyone except for me. I found out after the whole card thing”
Kylian said nothing, keeping his eyes trained on the bride and groom as they swayed. 
“Okay, so what happened after that?” Y/N pressed. She was flushed. If only her twelve year old self had that information. “Did you two ever talk again?”
Kylian finally turned to her, a hint of a smile on his lips. “Not really. I acted like it never happened” He grimaced at Anna. “Sorry about that, by the way”
Anna laughed. “You were the ultimate heartbreaker, Kylian!”
He chuckled, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes that made Y/N’s heart skip. “Yeah, well, I got my karma back, don't worry.”
“What do you mean?” Anna asked curiously. 
He hesitated before answering. “I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaks, is all”
Y/N looked down at her lap, idly fiddling with her jewelry. The cynic within her had convinced her that Kylian didn’t care for her in that way. She’d allowed herself to believe he wanted her only for her body, just another fleeting fling in a long line of them. But his behavior over the past couple of months had made it clear that her own insecurities had clouded her judgment. She had the person she cherished most right in front of her—the boy she had loved since she was twelve—and yet she had pushed him away.
As she watched the bride and groom twirl, doubt grew inside of her. Was that kind of love even possible for her? Could she ever meet someone she cared for as deeply as she did for Kylian? The thought felt almost laughable. In her heart of hearts she knew that there would never be anyone else who could fill that space in her life.
Suddenly, the DJ switched to an upbeat song and people started to flock to the dance floor, eager to join the bride and groom. Manon and Anna went off as well, leaving just the two of them at the table. 
Y/N nudged Kylian gently.“Dance with me?”
He looked at her with an apologetic look, wordlessly shaking his head no. He looked tense, evidently very aware of being in public. 
Y/N visibly deflated. She wanted to be in on all the fun, but Kylian clearly wasn’t up for it. Oh, well. He did come here for me. I don’t need to make him even more uncomfortable, she thought. 
She smiled tightly at him, hoping he couldn’t see her disappointment. But of course he did. 
He hesitated before grabbing her hand and standing up, pulling her out of her chair. “Let’s go”
She grinned, her heart fluttering as  they made their way to the dance floor. Sometimes, when he did things like this purely to make her happy, the walls she’d built around her feelings for him would break down, sending her heart into a joyful spin.
They got to dancing, laughter bubbling between them as she playfully teased him about his abysmal dancing skills. 
“You just want me to be publicly humiliated huh?” He grumbled, a mock pout on his face. 
Just then, the song changed to a slow ballad. They froze, exchanging uncertain glances. It was only couples around them now, slowly moving to the romantic song playing. 
“What now?” Kylian asked, his voice low.
She stepped closer, wordlessly wrapping her hands around his neck. Her breath hitched when she felt his hands land on her hips.  They swayed to the song,  shifting their eyes  away from each other whenever their eye contact got too intense. His fingertips on her hips felt like they weighed tons. She wondered if he wanted to kiss her; she knew she’d let him if he tried. She’d fantasized about it more times than she could count.
Suddenly, she bumped into someone’s back. They’d been so focused on each other they’d completely lost track of their surroundings, it seemed. She turned around, ready to apologize, but froze when she saw who it was.
“Lucas?” She said incredulously. 
He had a different haircut than the last time she saw him, but it was definitely him.
Kylian's grip on her tightened slightly. “You’ve got to be kidding me” He muttered under his breath.
Lucas’ eyes lit up in recognition. “Y/N, wow. How are you?”
“I’m good” She said, forcing a smile.“ Crazy running into you here”
He smiled a fake smile, pointing to his dance partner, who she hadn’t noticed until then. “My girlfriend is co-workers with the bride”
She greeted his girlfriend, who was nice enough. 
“So you two finally got together, huh?” Lucas said. Y/N could tell he’d had a little bit too much to drink by the way he was swaying on his feet.  He leaned closer to Kylian, making it known the next part was just for him. “Better have her on a tight leash,  or she’ll start emotionally cheating on you”
Kylian recoiled at his words. “That’s not a bigger red flag than breaking up with a person over the phone, or thinking of women as animals you put a leash on” He gave a pointed look to Lucas’ partner. “He’s in the habit of doing that, by the way”
Poor girl looked like she wanted to disappear. 
Y/N felt disgusted. “Can we not do this here?” she said to Lucas. “It’s a wedding.”
Lucas shrugged, unfazed. “Just looking out for the guy. He should know what he’s getting into.”
Kylian stepped closer, a protective stance forming. “She can speak for herself, Lucas. And right now, she’s not interested in your opinion.”
Y/N suddenly noticed that some of the wedding guests had their eyes on them, clearly having noticed Kylian on the dance floor. They had their phones out, no doubt ready to send social media ablaze with pictures of Kylian and a ‘mystery woman’. Without thinking, she stepped away from Kylian and his hands fell away from her hips. 
He gave her a hurt look, confusion etched on his face.  “Y/N…”
“There you go!” Lucas laughed. “She doesn’t even want you to touch her”
Kylian gave Lucas the dirtiest look she’d ever seen him give to someone. “Fuck you” 
He turned on his heel and strode away without waiting for a response, his bodyguard trailing closely behind him adding a dramatic effect.
She made to follow him, but he disappeared into the crowd quickly. She turned to Lucas angrily. 
“You’re disgusting, you know”
He opened his mouth to say something, but she stormed off. 
Tumblr media
She found him taking pictures with a group of people, dimples and charisma on full display. Someone even pulled out a jersey—though she couldn’t quite fathom why someone would bring that to a wedding. Still, he signed it with a gracious smile, effortlessly charming everyone around him.
“Kylian” She said as she stepped closer. “Can we talk?”
“Sure” He said, his smile fading slightly as he excused himself from the group. 
“Look, I’m really sorry” She said. “It’s not that I don't want to be seen with you or anything. It’s just –”
“No, it’s fine” He said unconvincingly. 
“It’s not fine” She said earnestly. “That was really inconsiderate of me. Especially since you were standing up to that asshole for me. Thank you for that, by the way”
He shrugged. “That’s what he deserved” 
My sweet Kylian, she thought.
She enveloped him in a hug, taking in the smell of his cologne. He hugged her back, albeit somewhat hesitantly. She could tell something was still bothering him.
“Kylian, are you okay?” She asked, pulling away. “You’ve seemed off for a while now”
“I’m okay” He said, looking at the ground. “Just a bit stressed is all”
She looked at him empathetically. “Tell me”
“Well, for starters, I shouldn’t be in public right now”
She frowned, feeling guilty. “I know, it’s a lot–”
“No, it’s not just that. That I can prepare myself for.” He said. “It’s because there’s a video announcing my departure from PSG that’s going to be released–” He paused to look at his watch. “-- In about 20 minutes, so…”
She stared incredulously. “What?”
“I said there’s a video–”
“You’re leaving PSG?” She said in a hushed yet raised tone.
“Yes” He affirmed.
“And it’s going to be announced in 20 minutes?” 
“Yes” He repeated. 
“And you’re in a packed wedding full of proud Parisians” She stated the obvious. “One week after crashing out of the Champions League”
He nodded, then yelped when she smacked his arm. 
“Kylian, why the hell did you come?” 
“Because I wanted to make you happy” He said simply, rubbing his arm.
She didn’t know whether to smack him again or kiss his beautiful lips. She decided on neither.
“Let’s get out of here then” She said, already dragging him to the exit. “Before the video is released and all hell breaks loose”
“But we haven’t even talked to Julien!”
“You’ll send him an expensive gift” She said, sounding determined. 
He chuckled, letting her lead the way.
Tumblr media
They were in his car, his driver speeding away from the wedding venue. She watched him look out the window, the city lights casting a yellow glow over his skin. He looked less stressed, but she still thought there was something going on with him.
“So, where are you going?” 
“Hmm?” He pulled his eyes away from the window, seemingly jolted out of his thoughts. 
“Where are you going to play next?” She asked.
“Take a guess”
“Uh, let’s see, Leeds United?” She teased. 
He rolled his eyes. “You know where”
She squealed, launching herself across the backseat to give him yet another hug. “Real Madrid? Oh my god! Congratulations, Ky”
“Thanks” He giggled, hugging her back tightly. “I’m really excited”
“You should be! This is your childhood dream” She pulled back to look at him, her eyes wide with excitement. “Remember that winter you abandoned me to go visit them?”
“Well you’re getting back at me for that now” He said with a sad smile.
“Hm?”
“You’re moving back here” He clarified. “While I’m going there. You’re the one doing the abandoning this time”
“Oh” She said, understanding. “About that, I, uh–I’m not moving anymore”
He froze. “What?”
 “ I mean, I was going to, but… things changed. I got a promotion at my job, and the pay raise means I actually get more than what I’d earn at the new job here, so I told them I’m not gonna go for it”
He lets out a strange laugh. It’s near hysterical, but it stops as abruptly as it starts. “So you’re not moving back? You’re staying in Madrid?”
“Yes” She said slowly. “I’m staying in Madrid”
“Cool” He fidgets in his seat, his fingers tapping lightly against the armrest “Great”
He looked out the window again, then turned back to her, his face breaking into a huge grin.
“What?” She giggled. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m just really happy you’re staying” 
“Why?” She knew why, she just wanted to hear him say it.
“I wanted better for Luna” He exhaled loudly, as if this was a concerning issue he’d thought long and hard about. “ I hear the cat food here sucks”
She burst out laughing. She didn’t know what, but she could tell something just shifted between them. 
“You know, I haven’t been back in a while” He said. “To Bondy”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah” He said thoughtfully. “You just reminded me, when you mentioned that time I went to visit Madrid”
“Why don’t we stop by?” She said, her eyes lighting up. 
He paused for a moment, contemplating. 
“I don’t have anywhere else to be. Let’s do it” He said finally. 
He told his driver, and they went on their way. They sat in silence for most of the drive to the suburbs, both lost in their own thoughts.
“Oh!” Kylian’s eyes lit up suddenly. He pulled something from the console. “I forgot to give you this”
“What is it?”
“Belated graduation gift” He said as he handed her a small gift bag. She’d graduated from her masters program a couple weeks ago.
She beamed,  pulling out a jewelry box from the bag. “You didn’t have to” She cooed.
“Liar”
“You’re right, I love gifts” She grinned.
Her eyes widened when she revealed the pair of earrings. “ Kylian, wow” 
She looked at him in disbelief as she held up the jewelry delicately. “They’re so beautiful”
“I got them from Cameroon, when I visited last year” He explained. 
There was a card nestled amongst the wrapping of the earrings, small enough that she almost missed it. 
“Oh, there’s a card” She said as she picked it up.
Kylian’s eyes widened, reaching out to take it from her hand. “Wait, no—”
She leaned away from him to avoid his grasp, her smile almost fading as she read what was written:
“Y/N,
I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but right now I’m in Cameroon, and I’m heartbroken. 
Maman thinks I should call you. Tchaga and all the others think I’m annoying because all I do is sulk.
We visited a traditional market today. I saw these earrings, and I thought of you immediately. They’re made by female artisans, which I think you’ll like.
 I love you, I think it’s ruining my life.
–K”
She looked up, the last sentence reverberating in her head, almost drowned out by the pounding of her heart. 
She didn’t know what to say, just looked at Kylian, who was avoiding her gaze.
“I forgot that was there” He said quietly. 
The car came to a halt just then, and Kylian’s driver let them know that they’d arrived at their destination.
They found themselves at the park they frequented as children, where they spent countless afternoons and evenings. They took a seat on a bench, facing a gaggle of children playing football. The park was otherwise empty save for a couple other wanderers, which was unusual for a summer’s evening. Y/N wasn’t  complaining though; fewer people meant less chances of Kylian being spotted.
They seemed out of place in their formal clothes; her in her silk maxi dress, and him in his suit.  She stole glances of his side profile as they watched the kids’ game, marveling at his beauty: his big brown eyes, the strong nose he’d inherited from his mother, and those pink, pouty lips. More than 10 years of knowing him and yet he still managed to take her breath away.
He turned to her suddenly. “What’s on your mind?”
She decided to be honest. “I was thinking about how pretty you are”
“Pretty?” He chuckled.
“Yeah. Pretty” 
“Don’t think anyone’s used that word to describe me before” He said.
“Well I have” She said. “Many times before – in my head”
“Me too,” He admitted, his gaze warm. “I’ve called you pretty. Also many times —in my head.”
She grinned at him. It was impossible not to. “Speaking of pretty, I want to try those earrings!”
She pulled them from their box, quickly removing the ones she was already wearing and carefully putting on the new pair. Kylian took an exaggerated double take, his eyes widening. “Qué hermosa!” 
She snorted. “ Working on your Spanish, I see”
“I’m already fluent, cherie” He winked at her as he pulled out his phone and quickly snapped a picture of her. 
A loud cheer erupted from the kids; someone had just scored a goal. Y/N and Kylian briefly turned their attention back to the game, smiling at the infectious joy of the kids as they rushed to one another for a group hug. The celebrations gradually faded, and the children returned to their positions to continue the game.
She swallowed hard. “Did you mean that?”
“Mean what?” Kylian dragged his eyes away from the game. It didn’t matter if it was being played by a bunch of 10 year olds, football was still his favorite thing. It was quite endearing, actually. 
“What you wrote on the card” She said quietly. 
“Yes” He met her eyes. “I do”
“What did you mean– what do you mean when you said it’s ruining your life?” She asked.
He took a deep breath before answering. He had a pained look on his face. “It’s just – I don’t know, it feels like torture sometimes, not having you. First it was the whole time you were with Lucas when I was pining after you, and then it felt like I had you, but you ran away. Let me tell you, those couple months after that when we weren’t speaking were the worst of my life.” He took a shaky breath. “And whatever we are now, just friends, it’s never going to be enough”
“Kylian..”
“And I was speaking to Papa” He continued, ignoring her. He scooted closer to her, eyes so intense. “He told me to take a leap of faith. To cut out all the bullshit and tell you I love you.  So here I am, I guess. I want you to tell me what you truly want. Not what you think you should want, or what other people want for you. What you really, really want. Because if it’s me? I’m all in, Y/N” 
He took her hand, gently opening up her palm. “Because you’ve had my heart here” He traced his index finger over her palm. “Ever since I met you at my birthday party all those years ago. It’s always been you for me. There will never be anyone else”
Y/N didn’t respond immediately,  lifting his hand that was on hers to her lips and kissing his trembling fingers. “Just so you know, I’ve wanted you as long as I’ve known you. And you’re right, maybe all of the excuses I was telling you and myself were lies. Because I was scared. I thought if we did this and it didn’t work out, I’d end up losing you forever. I didn’t want that, Ky. But how would we know if we don’t try? We have to try, right?” She paused. “I really want to try”
Kylian let out a relieved laugh at her words. They were so close to each other, their faces mere inches apart. He cupped her face with his hands, caressing her cheeks in a way only he could. She closed her eyes, basking in his touch. She felt gentle kisses on each of her eyelids.
“Yes” She heard him murmur. “I want to try”
They closed what little distance was between their lips, kissing passionately. All the tension, all the unspoken feelings that had been brewing for ages seemed to dissolve in that moment. It felt like releasing air after holding her breath for a long time. It felt like relief.
“Wait, there’s someone taking pictures” Kylian muttered as he pulled away.
“I don’t care” She said, chasing his lips with hers.
To her annoyance, he pulled away again. “But you–”
“I said I don’t care” She mumbled, kissing him again. She felt him smile against her lips.
They left the park after the game ended, satisfied and at peace. Hands intertwined, lips swollen from kissing. She thought about the kids that they used to be, the ones who used to run to the very same park everyday after school. Oh how they’ve grown,  how they’ve changed. 
Inside the car, she turned to him, her heart steadying after a long while of drumming loudly. “So, what now?”
His gaze was unwavering. “ No more running away.”
"No more running away" She repeated softly, leaning her head against his shoulder and closing her eyes.
Tumblr media
A/N: Aaand thats it folks. hope you like this last part <3 i'm working on an epilogue though so stay tuned for that. as always lmk what you think in the comments or in my inbox. thank you for reading!
tags: @kyliansonlygf @ynkfreeastheocean @scottishthistle @user6373738 @lucysantos6-blog @tuliptopiasstuff @kennasutopia @cinderellawithashoe @akiracim @kymb-10 @germanapples @ariesmai @edgyficuselastica
36 notes · View notes
ariinurl · 2 years
Text
MKYK ART DUMP!!! from 2021-2022 They're so real your honor
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
196 notes · View notes
reel-fear · 4 months
Text
Genuinely so curious who Mike thinks is gonna be buying The Cage or the new DCTL GN bc with the way he tweets as far as he's concerned, it's not gonna be:
The queer people he has actively admitted he will never show any representation of in the games.
Tumblr media
2. The POC he has actively fought against representing in his franchise. [Who he also mocked for thinking they would be represented in his franchise]
3. The Bendy fandom which has always been concerned with topics of diversity esp in the sense of queer people since its creation. Who he has responded to really poorly esp in regards to the GN.
4. The fans who critique him. [He blocked me for doing so lol]
Tumblr media
5. His fans in general who he tweets about like this currently. [He's being vague about why people were mad at him or sent him 'nasty messages' because if you actually looked into why you'd see he was in the wrong. Either way, a very hateful way to speak abt ur own fanbase.]
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Reminder while Mike is trash talking his fans he has always treated them rather poorly. The fans who won the fanart contest for Chapter 5 never got their posters actually in game due to it being rushed. Not only was chapter 5 a big slap to the face story wise, but it was literally so rushed he couldn't be bothered to add in the art his fans gave him for his game FOR FREE. [Meatly blames this on a crazy timeline, reminder him and Mike are the literal ceos of this company. The proposal of future updates here is also pretty cruel considering Mike nowadays happily admits he corrupted Chapter 5's source code and therefore literally can't update it At All currently. Because he is a moron]
At least they got to be in Boris and the dark survival, and by that I mean that was the Only game they got to be in so far, isn't that just treating your fans like you love them? Shoving their hard work into a spin off game almost nobody has played or addresses much. [Hell, who knows if with the Lone Wolf rebrand they'll even stay there. In which case they'll be in None of the games, only in the credits of BATIM]
6. The Bendy fans who just generally disagree with him on stuff. Like the new ink demon design where there is literally a public poll showing people generally prefer the old one.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
7. The Bendy fans who can see he is actively lying to them. To their fucking faces.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
He says this has always been the case, but screenshots and links to tweets regarding the books being canon prove it was not. Does he really think bendy fans are stupid or something? [Unless he's admitting here he lied to Kress when he told her the books were canon which sounds worse!]
8. Anyone who doesn't like the idea of giving money to a guy who laid off tons of employees then afterwards thought it was a great idea to express his anti-union views! Also brag about how good of an employer he was, according to his employees, he was not!
Tumblr media
So in summary; Mike is an awful person who has not learned anything from the awful things he did. I will not be purchasing The Cage because, combined with this and his absolute refusal to take any kind of critique or see any differing interpretation of his franchise, I have no reason to think my problems with the franchise will ever be addressed or fixed. I probably will pirate The Cage along with any future Bendy Products [Including the movie] and will do my best to avoid giving it any kind of monetary support. Unless this changes any time soon, I can't see myself making anymore positive Bendy posts soon.
Mike has just managed to make it so hard to speak positively or optimistically of this franchise when he's so willing to broadcast how little he cares about it or its fans. I'm at the point where I refuse to pull any of my punches with my problems with it. What's the point of trying to play nice with my critique when either way the people creating it don't care?
So with this post, I want to invite anyone who feels similarly about the franchise to tell me, make a post or send an ask talking about how all of this makes you feel. It may not change how things are, but genuinely seeing other people share my feelings of anger makes me feel better. It feels nice to see when other people share our same concerns and worries. I'd also love to know if anyone else thinks they'll be avoiding purchasing Bendy products over this.
I'm not forcing anyone to participate in it nor trying to say anyone who doesn't supports mike but genuinely maybe if we can collectively decide to boycott things like the movie, graphic novel and The Cage... It might at least make the bendy devs acknowledge how much they have destroyed their own fandom's faith and trust in them.
The way Mike tweets about his actions like he had no control over why people were mad at him at least proves to me he takes NONE of it back nor regrets it. If you didn't know about his actions and only went off his tweets, you would be led to believe Mike has been needlessly picked apart by fans over things he couldn't control [or in his own words, had his words twisted and taken out of context]. That is not how you speak about your actions if you have actually learned better from them.
anyway, that has been my bendy dev callout post. This is an open invitation to anyone feeling similarly upset about the way the franchise is going to talk about it. It's genuinely nice to see how people feel about this and the more we talk about the more it's likely the bendy devs are forced to address our concerns. I don't think they will but hey, that's why I'm not gonna support them with my money anymore nor am I gonna be nice to them in any content I make critiquing Bendy. I mean I'm also basically making this post just in case anyone asks me Why I feel this way towards to bendy devs/as a way to respond to anyone who thinks I am too harsh in my critique in the future.
As always, it seems the best part of Bendy isn't actually anything about canon but about what the fan's are creating with the ideas Bendy failed to do anything interesting with.
Also the books, the books slap.
#batim#batdr#bendy and the ink machine#bendy and the dark revival#ramblez#bendy and the silent city#bendy the cage#for the record another reason Im making this post is bc some of the only good resources to learn abt why the bendy devs suck are some old#very longer videos and this is a very long post but I thought it was important to document the recent shit theyve been doing alongside some#of the worst past things theyve done bc Mike has been trying to misinform people on what happened but those videos are still great resource#if you want more info n such#long post#mike D#for anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt him since he doesnt go by mood anymore#sorry if this is rambley or emotional Im just so sick of these guys fr dskjhgskdfjghskdjhgkjhsd#I miss when I didnt spend my days stressed about the awful shit mike is gonna say next and how I would have to disprove it in a post later#or explain why its bad to have a cast of nothing but cishet white guys n constantly fight back against any push for diversity in said cast#genuinely its just tiring esp when u see other bendy fans give ignorant or very silly defenses/takes on those things#n then u lose a lot of respect for them bc they are speaking on stuff they dont know much abt so confidently and therefore misinforming#people or even encouraging very bad views on stuff like diversity n its importance#Im not saying people like that are bad people but it is stressful n upsetting when u see someone u thought knew better do that sort of thin#it makes it hard to trust them again on other issues bc u now dont trust they know what they r talking abt!!#like please think twice before telling young artists making norman white was a tough and complicated decision it was fucking not the bendy#devs just think all their humans are white by default and dont wanna change that its been proven time n time again thats all it is#and defending them just bc u like a franchise they made is very very bad!! They are not ur friends!! they suck and we seriously need to#stop pretending they dont!! toxic positivity is only gonna make the fandom an absolute nightmare its not gonna make ANYTHING better#it just means people will be forced to PRETEND they never have negative thoughts abt the franchise n therefore make them burned out#just look at other similar fandoms please lets not make those same mistakes!!#sorry can u tell Ive been having just. A time recently#anyways back to making my queer ass bendy fan game full of so much diversity mike will prolly shit when he sees it DKFJGHKSDJHGKJHSD
71 notes · View notes
s0fter-sin · 5 months
Text
last thing i’ll say; people aren’t owed free content but creatives aren’t owed financial compensation either
69 notes · View notes
longagoitwastuesday · 1 month
Text
Every day I am haunted by the fact JJK could be amazing but it will be just idk Bleach or something
#I've seen a lot of people complaining about the fact that it's impossible to fit the ending of every unfinished arc#in the five chapters that remain for the manga to end for good#And it all just... legitimises my fear and apprehension haha#And it's a pity! It's a pity! The dynamics were so good! And yet nothing! Sukuna was so good! And yet nothing!#It was so nice how he seemed to play with the idea of transcending human categories and values but even the values of curses so to speak#Well beyond everything. Well beyond positive/creative nihilism even! He was not like Mahito#I wonder if Mahito is more a negative nihilism with a funny edge or a positive nihilism. For now it seems positive#with how he seems to have said something like 'nothing matters so we can do whatever we want and create what matters'#But Sukuna transcends all that! It could have been interesting to see how that developed in a way that wasn't just childish edginess#But no. And then there's all the idea of curses and sorcerers not being all that different#and so not really entirely possible to say one side is good and the other bad#There was the idea of the very source of powers with fear and love playing a role here in such a juicy way#And then there's the entire thing happening with Gojo as a concept and the very concepts he plays with which I could eat like an apple#but also I would let those very concepts eat at my heart as a worm inside an apple#Full of holes and rotting inside out and yet delighting at the sweetness#It could all be so good! And yet! Most of the manga is a few sketched dynamics and concepts and a very long fight with Sukuna#promising half finished arcs#WHY it could have been so good. And I don't think criticism is a matter of 'fans being spoiled! Go write your story!' or something#It's not a matter of things not going as fans would want them to be. It's a matter of not writing well#or cohesively things established by the author themselves. And I think that's a fair criticism#If we are to take manga as an art‚ which I wholeheartedly support‚#then we can subject mangas to artistic or literary or whatever you want to call it analysis. There are works that are better constructed#than others‚ and there are works that have good ideas but poor execution. And it's always a pity#In the case of JJK it's truly breaking my heart and the comments I see around about these five last chapters are not helping xD#God it could be so good. So good. And I'm not talking about in specific to me‚ which yes that too given the topics‚#but just so good in general. It could be so good. It could have been so good#And yet it's starting to look more and more like any other shonen. It truly breaks my heart haha#I talk too much#Jujutsu Kaisen#I used Bleach because I think that's one of the mangas that has been the most a let down to the friends I have who like shonen
12 notes · View notes
schemelin · 19 days
Text
i can't for the life of me watch a movie that isn't animated, but i sure will watch the same 3-hours-long youtube documentary on ben drowned lore for the 5th time this month
14 notes · View notes
kindahoping4forever · 9 months
Note
my ultimate wish for this next era is they finally let Ryan go like they did Andy. I'm so sick of not getting the content we deserve. All the gatekeeping of tour diaries and now the crumbs of concert footage in that "documentary" yesterday. he was working for months on that? that's why we didn't get tour diaries? all that footage just goes in his vault now? Please.
Hello! I'm sorry to hear you felt disappointed by yesterday's special. However, I feel compelled to comment on a few objective points in your ask.
- "Live & Backstage in Amsterdam" was directed by James Tonkin, the same director (and production team, Hangman) they worked with on "The Feeling of Falling Upwards" (and the unreleased "Live in Brixton" special). Ryan was credited as director of the documentary footage and as a contributing editor (1 of 3) but the live footage and overall final program was not his work.
- Regardless of the particular creatives involved here (or in any given project for that matter), the fact remains that any directors, producers, photographers, etc are all hired hands operating with full input and specific direction from the band. The band chose to make this a hybrid concert film/documentary. The band chose to condense the setlist the way they did. The band chose this format over the traditional tour diaries. What happens to the unused footage will be determined by the band. Ryan is a friend but he is first and foremost an employee and the band owns that footage. (Likewise, the MYT diaries are not sitting on Andy Deluca's hard drive because he's "gatekeeping" or too lazy to edit it. If the band wanted them released, they'd be released.) All this to say, of course you don't have to agree with the decisions but it's important to clarify who your complaint is with.
- This concept of the band or their collaborators "gatekeeping" and fans not getting what we "deserve" is, to be blunt, entitled and immature. Being a fan does not make an artist indebted to you. They make music, if you feel so inclined, you listen. That's it. That's the extent of the contract. Anything beyond that is optional for both parties. Any content an artist chooses to release is not out of obligation or generosity, it's part business strategy, part artistic vision. Artists do not owe you anything. This band does not owe you anything.
#apologies for the long answer but clearly i had a lot to say (still do tbh)#i didn't link it bc it hit a lot of the same points but i answered an ask with similar sentiments last year about the CM promo era aesthetic#bottom line is at the end of the day these dudes are not our friends shit posting they are professional artists#artists trying to fulfill not just a creative vision but also business obligations#the people they work with are tools in the toolbox hired to help accomplish those goals#they don't get raw footage and do whatever they want with it - the band will always get final say#the hate their collaborators get is always so bizarre to me-whether it be their signature style or the manner in which they deliver content#the band hired these people for a reason 🤷🏻‍♀️#also just bc I have the time: Andy was not 'let go'#thru their work with 5sos andy & sarah have become quite prolific mv directors both individually and as a team#as well as continuing to be in demand live music photographers - andy literally shot depeche mode last week#ryan has also had a number of high profile ad campaigns he's shot this year#what I'm saying is they don't need 5sos lol#the band likes their work and is lucky to have access to collaborators that make them feel understood#i just... can't reconcile this 'we deserve' bit#this was the third concert special in as many years... we only had to pay for one... bc it was a global livestream#it's ok to be disappointed if it wasn't what you expected and i don't mean to invalidate that#but this concept of 'deserving' is a different thing especially in the context of this fandom where entitlement is an ongoing issue#so that's where this long ass answer is coming from lol#anyways that's my rant for the year - just in under the wire!#ask#anon
25 notes · View notes
bloobydabloob · 5 months
Note
Yo this is super random I know so don’t feel pressured to answer or anything. But I used to be active in the homestuck community and now I’m sort of getting back into it but I don’t really have any friends in the community anymore and tbh u seem cool so I wanted to ask if you have like a discord server or something? I know it’s stupid to do this anonymously but my tumblr is associated with homestuck content and I don’t want people to see that? Just if you were to post this Originally I wanted to msg you on Twitter but I somehow can’t
Jesus I seem like a creep I swear I’m not but yeah I’m rambling and now that I think about it I could have send you a private message but In my head that would be even creepier? Idk mb I swear I’m not weird
All chill man, haha. There’s no need to feel nervous I seriously don’t give a shit as a guy who is also a relentless rambler.
No I don’t have a server or anything (I’m a pretty small account (I think)) unless you count the one with like… 5 people on it who are all my close friends. I am on Borzoi’s DirkJake server but I’m only active quite sporadically.
I opened up my DMs on Twitter (didn’t realise they were closed. Whoops) if you are interested in hitting me up there for conversation about Homestuck or something. I warn you though I am 100% awful at DMs and everyone can attest to this.
9 notes · View notes
philosophicallie · 4 months
Text
ok time to try to blame someone else instead of me
#being dramatic but idk im also trying to think abt why i am this way#in part to the fact that i inherently view myself as a burden and always have since a child since i could like. comprehend the things my mom#was going through for my life & moving the america etc etc#but like yeah i was basically as independent as couldve been in the PH bc i had multiple ppl who could take me places and take care of me#but in the US it was just my parents and our family and our X amnt of cars#idk i just keep thinking about how much i miss doing anything in my life and how i used to be a dancer a martial artist a potter like#there was so much to me and now because i refuse to learn to drive and get a car i just. am locked out of everything#bc my aspirations cant work out on 1 vehicle in sparse & spread ohio#like idk maybe its the fact that i always was just like im not allowed to have friends im not allowed to go out in the summer#im not allowed to visit friends or extra places or events#never really been independent until i basically ran away and even now im just#only partially independent bc sure i have money and i have my own space but. im dependent on a driver and other ppls schedules and it just#idk i cant not see myself as a burden all i can think of is that im not a good enough woman let alone wife and thats something no one wants#like i barely know how to cook i barely eat i dont clean i barely wash i barely provide like. yeah idk also ever since i had a breakdown#i feel fundamentally just. changed especially about food. and idk i have been asking for others to cook for me more but i still am waiting 4#the next time someone says you can make it yourself and i starve for the next 24 hours#idk dude i literally cannot see myself as not a work of labor. its all mama ever ranted at me about. very verbally very constantly up until#i stopped being difficult with her being the head of the family of like 12#whatever. whatever#im done blaming someone else im gonna eat my words with regret and shame :/
3 notes · View notes
seonghwasblr-moved · 1 year
Text
Sometimes I get sad and annoyed about things that literally don't matter at all lol
#maja talks#(me reading 5 month old tweets saying the copenhagen crowd for ateez was dead)#like no it wasn't and also it's been 5 months why am I sad about those tweets now LMAO#it does make me wonder what the criteria of a “dead” crowd is tho#like someone wrote it was so dead that they could hear the members speaking clearly on their videos#but to me that is just manners? Like it's manners to me that you don't scream when the members are speaking#other people say a crowd is dead when people sit down too much but you can literally be so hyped while sitting down too#other people said the crowd wasn't as loud as other places but i'm pretty sure it one of the smallest crowds of the tour#so what do you expect#people were literally screaming their lungs out when it mattered and sang the songs and stomped(?) on the floor#I guess I just don't understand some people's definitions of a dead crowd#(try going to a concert in Korea then you will meet a dead crowd lol)#again this literally doesn't matter I just got annoyed reading the tweets lmao#again it's been 5 months and the only reason I saw those tweets is because I'm going through a trying to relive the concert phase lol#the members seemed like they had fun (wooyoung even mentioned the concert as one of his faves in an article if I remember correctly)#I had fun with my friends and that's honestly the most important#everybody are inclined to their own opinions#and again this is old news so it really does not matter LMAO#(I still don't think a crowd is dead just cause they let an artist speak and be heard at a concert)
7 notes · View notes
steviescrystals · 2 months
Text
i’m fr gonna lose my mind :)
#been a minute since i’ve ranted in the tags on here hi hello#so i have this friend who is driving me absolutely insane#we’ve been friends for about a year or so and when we first met we clicked right away and got super close and hung out all the time#we met at work but neither of us works there anymore and it feels like our whole friendship is falling apart now that we don’t#i literally have not seen her in person once since the last time we worked together (march)#and even before that we didn’t hang out outside of work since december of last year#and i have grown very used to having friends that just do not put the same amount of effort as me into our friendships and it’s sucks#so i was starting to make my peace with the fact that we just weren’t really friends anymore#but then a few months ago she started texting me asking me to hang out all the time and she seemed way more like her old self#and immediately i got sucked back in and was all excited to see her again and have her back in my life fully#but she completely flaked on me three times in a row (not even cancelling our plans but waiting until the next day to give me an excuse)#which like i said i’m unfortunately used to but she literally was the one who invited ME to hang out every time#like why are you initiating plans with me and then ignoring my calls and texts when it comes time to actually hang out#then a few weeks ago she texted me again saying we should go to a concert together bc we hadn’t in a long time#and there happens to be a concert i’ve been wanting to go to on the 31st but had no one to go with#she said she was totally in and really excited and i bought the tickets a couple days later and texted her to tell her i had#got zero response for almost a week and then she texted me yesterday saying we should hang out this week#so i said yeah let’s do it but also this concert is literally in 2 days are you still coming with me#and no response! again! so now i have 2 days to try and find someone else who can go last minute bc it seems unlikely that she will#and i’m just so fucking confused bc why do YOU keep reaching out to ME just to flake out at the last minute every single time#like at this point it feels like she’s doing it on purpose just to see if i’ll keep tolerating her bullshit#and part of me wants to just cut her off bc she’s been a terrible friend to me for months at this point#but i can’t bring myself to do it bc i miss her so much anyway and when our friendship was good it was really fucking good#like i considered this girl one of my best friends and now it feels like she’s just playing games with me bc she’s bored#which sucks extra bc last year she was there for me when literally none of my long time friends were#like it’s bad enough that it seems like our friendship was conditional on us being coworkers#but it hurts more and more every time she reappears in my life just to ghost me again like genuinely why would you do that#so i’m really upset and pissed off rn and i have no idea wtf to do about the concert bc idk anyone else who likes the artist enough to go#vent#lj.txt
1 note · View note
pissfizz · 1 year
Text
I’ve never really considered my tremors a disability but holy shit it is isn’t it
5 notes · View notes
clulessmess · 3 months
Text
No reason i just wanna die?
Wanna kill myself?
Cease to exist?
0 notes
kowabungadoodles · 1 year
Text
How to spot a (heart wrenching sad cat) Charity Scam
So I've been get a lot of requests for money in my askbox lately, from users I have never seen before! Usually sad cats, sometimes gender affirming medical bills, a queer person being made homeless etc etc... and guess what? None of them are real! It's scammers who have learned how to work tumblr's userbase and prey on our general sense of community and charity.
Tumblr media
Here it is, so sad! So tragic! But let's note a few things:
It's generic. They don't know me, I don't know them. it's addressed to 'friend', no use of nicknames or usernames.
Even the cat and the problem are generic 'little kitty' who has 'urgent needs'. This is not how real people talk, this is because this scam is being used over and over with different accounts a different 'cats'.
Praying (uh huh.)
Asking you to reply privately- This is so people don't spot the scam and point it out the mark and because if too many people posted replies to the same message it would beome really obvious that this is a scam. If they're looking for 'boosts' so badly, then why do they need you to reply privately?
Now that I'm suspicious, let's investigate.
Tumblr media
Sent me an ask and then followed me! Sounds like they're just hitting up anyone and everyone, but even more likely they have a list they're working from.
(I get so many, I'm probably on a mail-out list a mile long, just being hit up for cash. Likely I fell for one of these once and got my name added to every scam list for miles, but oh well.)
So let's see if they're a bot or a real person!
Tumblr media
The blog looks genuine enough, they've got a bio, a fandom etc. And it says they're an artist!
And of course there's that sad cat post, pinned right to the top, so I don't have to look any further through the blog for verification... Looks super legit, pics of the cat, pics of the bill... of course anyone can print out a bill and take a picture of it...
As I do scroll futher, it's full of reblogs making this look like an active user. So how can I tell it's not genuine?
Well, if they're an artist they probably post right? Doodles? Pictures? Let's have a look at their origional posts.
The fastest way to do this is by using an outside tool like Original Post Finder.
Tumblr media
just type in the suspicious username and go...
Tumblr media
Voila! As suspected, the only post this bot account has ever made is Sad Cat Post.
Confirmed: Scam. Do not give your money to these guys, it looks so real but they're just here to make you feel like a bad person for not handing over everything you can. Charity is wonderful, supporting friends is wonderful, but tbh save it for people you actually know irl/ mutuals you have an actual relationship with. Don't believe any rando who comes knocking!
Love and kisses, stay safe out there.
14K notes · View notes