#my fucking KINGDOM for a full recording of this song

[kaijudyke]

[raytorosaurus]

hi!! i’m so lost about these new leaks. could you please give some insight about what the paper kingdom is at all?? i’d really appreciate it

oooh okay my wifi's p bad rn so just off the top of my head: mcr had planned and partially recorded a new album before they broke up that was never released. it was called the paper kingdom and it had a dark fairytale concept: apparently it was about a group of people meeting at a support group for parents who had lost their children, and they came together and imagined a fantasy world (the paper kingdom) where their children were still alive and fighting dragons and witches instead of illness etc as a coping mechanism. so like. really fucking dark. they actually got pretty far with it (they were in the studio full time writing for at least a couple of months. dewees said they had 26 songs more or less done or at least demod, and friends of the band listened to at least four complete ones), but their progress just kind of...stalled. they invited dewees to be an official member of the band and he signed a contract after seven years of touring with them, and he and frank stayed together in a kind of seedy hotel and ended up writing a lot of death spells there while the mcr sessions weren't going great. according to dewees gerard in particular just didn't have his heart in it and was really struggling for inspiration and drive. i think gerard mentioned in the kevin smith podcast that he was more invested in the visual aesthetics and set designs for the hypothetical tour than he was the music at that point. apparently frank and ray also started to argue some about the music for the first time in the band's history, and with two of the band members having young kids and ray's first baby on the way the album's depressing concept was uh not helping their mental states to say the least. the writing stalled and frank went back home to nj and everyone in the band was having a bad time and knew the breakup was coming (including frank, which he's said multiple times - the "frank heard at the same time as us" rumour was just about the timing and content of the breakup post itself). personally i think it was a combination of all those things and the fact that mcr activated their fifth member curse by inviting dewees to be an official member after swearing for years that it could only be the four special boys lolll ✌️

anyway. if those recordings are real (which i'm inclined to believe they are, since there are definitely recordings somewhere out there) they're definitely not representative of the better, happier mcr of today who are active for the right reasons and not just because they feel they need to be. they were never meant to be heard by us. like not to validate a shitty leaker but i'll probably listen if i get the chance because i'm desperately curious but if you do please keep that context in mind - the album was scrapped for a reason!

[em-writes-stuff]

sickness

day two of @whumpcember

734 words

warnings: talking about dying

~

Recording of a letter found for Prince Robert, folded in a book on the Old Kings. Writer is not known, but the name starts with an E. From the little writing on the Prince, my guess is Edward “Echo” Song, the child of a baker, who’s suspected of helping Robert’s brother, Timothy, escape an execution. If it’s not Edward, I don’t know who it would be. 

The letter appears to be 240-250 years old, given the events written about, and the wear on the paper, and is in pristine condition, considering. Some splotches smear the ink, but it’s still readable. 

Let’s get started: 

Robbie, 

   I doubt you thought you’d ever hear from me again. I figure it’s safe enough, with the news of the ban being lifted and your sister taking over the kingdom. Sorry to hear of the king’s death, I know it’s not how you wanted it to happen. 

   I’ve been thinking of writing you this letter for a while, but I’ve been writing others and gotten a case of nostalgia, so I figured it was time. I’m dying. Not using magic the first half of my life drained a lot of my life from me, and I’m getting weaker by the day. Hopefully I’m able to make it through the winter so I can harvest the garlic I planted earlier. If not, it’ll be stuck in the ground.

   I don’t want you to try and track this, not that you would want to, but the only way you’d be getting this is if I died, so I guess that’s happened now. If you did track it, you’d find that I lived a full life, well, as full as it could have been given my circumstances, with two partners I picked up along the way. They’ve done all they can for me and now it’s time I do what’s best for them. So please don’t find them, they’re hurting enough. 

   I have arranged for some mutual friends of ours to make it to the ball together, they should make it the night of and leave two mornings after. I know their presence will cause quite a stir, but I’ve had them vow not to try anything with the riches of your kingdom, bla, bla, bla. Don’t try anything with them, they’re married now. Anyway, I hope you all have fun, eat some desserts for me.  

   I heard about the wife, congratulations. It’s a big deal, I never thought you’d find someone to put up with you. Jokes aside, I’m happy for you. I’ll drink to your happiness next time I get a chance. 

   Spence is safe, I just talked with him a few weeks ago. He lives in a small cottage in a tightly-knit community with a big dog and the other friend who left Terilace with us. She’s not there often, taking more to the travellers life than anything. But, she has a place to hang her gloves when needed, and she’s grateful to it. 

   As always, I wish you the best with the rest of your life, and hope you don’t get too caught up in the nostalgia of our time together. It would be best for you to throw this letter out, reputations and all. But, if you want to keep it tucked away in something, go ahead. 

   With all the love in the world, 

     E

~

Well. 

I can only assume the “mutual friends” referenced are infamous raiders, Kaya Bloostone and Archibald Blair. If I’m right, it seems Prince Robert was tangled up in a lot more than I’ve read about. 

Just as I said, this is most likely written by Edward, I might check with Ezran, seen as he’s the only person still alive to have met him. Damn immortals. They just love to have too much knowledge and hog the head fucking librarian position. 

The letter will go into a new book, tucked in Prince Robert’s section, under the “mysteries of his time” section, and the recording will will be saved, again, according to Ezran’s stupid fucking system. 

Whatever. 

There will likely be more to read on Edward, especially due to the familiarity in the letter, I can only hope it’s more like this, and not anything I’ll have to hide from the entire fucking kingdom. I don’t want to do another one of those. Too much paperwork that’ll never see the light of day. 

Signing off.

[stealingyourbones]

@currently-haunted thanks for tagging me :3

Rule: shuffle your repeat playlist 10 times and post the songs that come up!

Coming up first we got some good ol Harvey Danger. It’s one of those songs that I just jam in the car listening to and has the added bonus of childhood nostalgia making me like it even more.

Second is this fucking banger. The best way to describe this song is that it’s crunchy. It just scratches your brain in the perfect way I love it so much.

Third: The entire instrumental everything about this gives me dopamine.

Fourth: It’s so twangy and the riffs are so gOOD!!! It’s one of those songs that you go “it slaps so hard and yet the lyrics are silly as hell”

Fifth: A classic. Guitar? Beautiful. Lyrics? Incredible. Upbeat and full of fun riffs.

Sixth: Ah yes the Toadies. My father, who knew the Toadies when they were just a garage band, told me that this song was the perspective of a serial killer from Possum Kingdom lake and the lyrics are recordings of him talking to his victims. Never looked up if that’s accurate or not but this is one of my favorite songs of all time.

Seventh: crunchy and good guitar. Fun lyrics to yell in the car. Never heard of Natalie Portman but I enjoy the song

Eighth: You can fight me on this. “You wired me awake and hit me with a hand of broken nails” is the most metal opener lyric of all time.

Ninth: this band holds a truly special place in my heart. Good song. Their funky unsynced rhythm style just scratches the brain.

Tenth: this is the same album as the iconic “Ocean Man” song. This song is fucking incredible and you’d be surprised at how funky this song is. Give it a listen and be pleasantly shocked by how much it positively slaps.

I’ll tag uhhhh @bonebrokebuddy , @tourettesdog , @gilbirda , @hidden-under-lock-and-key , @aryaokayfriend , @ashoutinthedarkness , and honestly anyone that wants to reply to this go for it cause I’d love some interesting song recs :)

[mclennonlgbt]

Walls and Bridges is a pretty fruity album, if you think about it

According to Wikipedia: "Walls and Bridges is the fifth studio album by English musician John Lennon. It was issued by Apple Records on 26 September 1974 in the United States and on 4 October in the United Kingdom". We also learn that the album was being recorded between July and September, 1974.

Let's look at the circumstances under which Walls and Bridges was created. It was during the "Lost Weekend". John left Yoko/she kicked him out for 18 months and he was living with May Pang in Los Angeles. He was drinking too much (which his buddy Harry Nilsson urged him to do), he was missing his wife, BUT the "Lost Weekend" also had a lot of positives.

Let's see:

John, at May's suggestion, finally renewed his relationship with Julian. The latter remembers this period as the best time he had ever spent with his father.

Lennon and Elton John became huge friends (Elton called this relationship as a "whirlwind romance"), they recorded a song together ("Whatever gets you thru the night") and made a performance at Madison Square Garden.

John finally could meet Paul quite at ease, not being controlled by Yoko (and also encouraged by May). On March 28, Lennon and McCartney jammed together at the club in LA, the first and last time since the Beatles break-up. In addition, one day the four of them (John, Paul, Linda and May) met. Linda asked: "Don't you miss London?", and Lennon replied: "Frankly, I miss Paris" (we all know what Paris means to McLennon theory).

Let's sum it up: Lennon spent a lot of time with Elton, gay (at the time he was 28, and he realized his sexual orientation at about 23 yo), and a musician connected to the glam rock scene (and glam rock is inherently queer). I guess that Elton knew or at least suspected what John feels towards Paul. And let's remember that at that time Lennon was coming to terms with his bisexuality which he already signaled in 1972. In 1974 John interviewed himself for Andy Warhol's Interview Magazine to promote Walls and Bridges. Here comes the question: "Have you ever fucked a guy?". The response: "Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it". Further dialogue: "Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually 'keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL… A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..". The interview is full of queer references, for example the "journalist" asks John if he likes glitter.

John must have thought a lot about Paul at that period, and not in a purely platonic way. Announcing "I saw her standing there" at his and Elton's concert, he said: "And we thought we do another number of an old enstraged fiancee of mine, called Paul". Tony King stated that Lennon often referred to McCartney that way.

And now look at the songs.

Bless You: “In a way, it’s about Yoko and I, and in a way it’s about a lot of couples or all of us who go through that, whatever it’s called, love experience".

Steel and Glass has How do you sleep? melody. IMO it's another Paul reference.

Beef Jerky repeats Let me roll it riff.

Whatever gets you thru the night is a clear allusion to tolerating others, including LGBT people. "Whatever gets you through the night, it's all right, it's all right" - it reminds me of John's rhyme for the Gay Liberation Book (1972): "Why make it sad to be gay? Doing your thing is okay. Our bodies our own so leave us alone and play with yourself - today".

Here are my thoughts. What is your opinion? Cheers :3

[groovesnjams]

19 / 50

"The Light of the Anglerfish 提灯鮟鱇" by Yikii

DV:

Sometimes a title is just a key word or phrase from a song, but this year, more than most, I found myself latching onto songs where the title was a skeleton key, an essential contextualization, a window through which to view the song rather than a part of the song itself. In this niche category, Yikii easily has the most threatening - the most evocative - song name. And the rollercoaster of a song it describes couldn't have a better one. But as the title suggests, this is actually a nightmare. "The Light of the Anglerfish" sounds like it's operating on dream logic, the closest thing to a chorus landing at the very beginning and end of the song, the middle drawing you in and terrifying you and then soothing you and then eating you whole. The greatest marvel might be how coherent it all sounds: like a dream where you're lost in a house, and then you're looking for someone you know, and then you're being chased down a hallway, and then you're on the roof and about to fall off, there's a throughline, a thread, a hook that Yikii keeps lodged just so. "The Light of the Anglerfish" is conceptual horror pop, a prog rock celebration of the deep sea world that doesn't belong to us.

MG:

Not to bring this up again, but sometimes on Ancient Aliens one of the Ancient Astronaut Theorists will refer to Antarctica as, like, the last unexplored piece of the globe and I can’t help but think “the ocean is RIGHT there, man!” The ocean is full of so much fucked up shit, we don’t even know about most of what’s going on in there. We’ve identified 300 different species of octopus and that’s just so far. I mean, do they even originate on this planet? I haven’t committed my mind to a single answer but I can say that “The Light of the Anglerfish” is the perfect soundtrack to consider the array of horrors that exists beneath that black expanse of water. Also, can you believe that we humans are actually threatening the oceans with our gluttonous, polluted existence and we really think that a tsunami or whatever is the worst we’ll face in response? I am certain that hurricanes are just the beginning of whatever the nether kingdom has in store. Like me, “The Light of the Anglerfish” refuses to name the atrocity specifically, but it suggests all manner of doom and fright. Little creeps attack from unseen corners and some terrifying force disturbs the magnetic frequencies of the recording device, resulting in a lot of [FOOTAGE MISSING] and wavy static. Every time you feel confident you’ve confronted the last beast made entirely of mis-shapen, prehistoric teeth another lurches out of a cloud of wet debris.

[daggerzine]

THROWBACK THURSDAY #42!- Mark Eitzel – Songs of Love Live (Demon)

Right as Eitzel’s band American Music Club (one of my all-time faves) were really taking off (well, I guess it depends on how you define taking off…for me they sure were) vocalist Mark Eitzel had a chance to a do a gig in London. This happened on 1/17/91 at a club called The Borderline (I’ve read that the last two songs on here were recorded in the Demon Records offices).

It’s just Eitzel and an acoustic guitar (and that uncanny, sharp wit) to, I’m guessing, an audience full of AMC lovers.

He plays a bunch of gorgeous versions of songs that had been on the previous albums Engine, California and United Kingdom (and even one or two from Everclear which had not been released quite yet).Oh and let’s not forget “Room Above the Club” from their debut, The Restless Stranger. 

Classics like opener “Firefly” (where in the middle of the song Eitzel quips “I’m always fucking this part up” with a chuckle), plus the moving “Outside This Bar,” the lovely “Western Sky,”  the haunting “Kathleen,” “the goofy “Crabwalk,”  the hilarious “Gary’s Song” and plenty more.

I played this obsessively when it came out and even now, thirty plus years later, it still gets plenty of play in my home. If you want to hear one of the finest songwriters of the 20th/21’s century then pick up a copy of this and listen to the beauty within.

Side note from back of cd: “Guitars loaned by Sean O’Hagan, Nick Haeffner and Harvey Williams”

www.markeitzel1.bandcamp.com

www.demonmusicgroup.co.uk

[wrenmustdie]

Full list of public!Frank Iero music endeavors, listed chronologically

On Spotify:

Pencey Prep

Heartbreak in Stereo

My Chemical Romance(1)

I Brought You My Bullets,You Brought Me Your Love (Iero’s guitar playing is only in two tracks off this album, listed below, however he provides backing vocals for several songs throughout. Most notably: Skylines and Turnstiles.)

Honey This Mirror Isn’t Big Enough for the Two of Us

Early Sunsets Over Monroeville

Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge

Life on the Murder Scene

The Black Parade

The Black Parade; The B-Sides

The Black Parade / Living With Ghosts

Reggie And The Full Effect(1)

Last Stop: Crappy Town

Leathermouth

XO

My Chemical Romance(2)

Conventional Weapons

Danger Days: The True Lives of the Fabulous Killjoys

Every Snowflake is Different (Just Like You)

Reggie And The Full Effect(2)

No Country For Old Musicians

Solo(1)

Compilation Album “Friends”; Fadeaway Records

2.5mg Just Ain’t Enough for Me

My Chemical Romance(3)

Fake Your Death

Frnkiero and the Cellabration

Stomachaches

Low Road

Kingdoms Crumble (Featured on 1 song.)

Three Storms

Death Spells

Nothing Above, Nothing Below

Frank Iero and the Patience(1)

Parachutes

Solo(2)

Compilation Album “Music for Everyone”; Collective Confusion Records, Sub City Records

Getting Into Heaven Can Be Hell

Frank Iero and the Patience(2)

Keep the Coffins Coming

Frank Iero and the Future Violents

Barriers

Heaven is a Place, This is a Place

Joe Bob Briggs and the Lone Stars

Monster Mash

My Chemical Romance(4)

The Foundations of Decay

Not on Spotify, Not Listed Chronologically:

Pencey Prep

Long Walk to Forever EP

Cotton Candy

Home

Heroine Slow

The Secret Goldfish (Acoustic)

Death of the Lionheart

Fat and Alone

Leathermouth

Myself (Bonus Track from XO)

Bloodnun

(Self-Titled)

Solo

Kerrang! Does Green Day’s American Idiot

Extraordinary Grrl

Frankenweenie Unreleased

This Song is a Curse

For Jamia

XMAS SUX

Sector 12

Everything Falls Apart

I Am A Graveyard

Attention Reader

The Homeless Gospel Choir (ft. Frank Iero)

Crazy

Frnkiero and the Cellabration

give me liberty, but give me depth

Frank Iero and the Patience

Helter Skelter

Two Minutes To Late Night(?)

This Charming Man

The Lovecats

Hybrid

Steve Weil and the Disco Kings

American Nightmare

My Chemical Romance (Not all of these may actually have Frank Iero guitar/vocals but I’m including them anyway)

Dreams of Stabbing and/or Being Stabbed

Like Phantoms, Forever EP

The Mad Gear and the Missile Kid EP

We Don’t Need Another Song About California

The Drugs

Sister to Sleep

Someone Out There Loves You

Zero Percent

Na Na Na (Simlish)

Not including mcr covers bc fuck trying to find all of those and figure out who’s doing what

[sparklymuses]

TAG NINE PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER !

favorite color (s) : orange!! it used to be red, but orange just kinda felt a lot more pleasant when i got older. so i just warmed up to it - no pun intended.

favorite genre (s) : for movies, i do enjoy some horror elements along with action. for video games, action again with some first person shooters here and there. though i wouldn’t call them my absolute favorite ?? though def fun.

favorite music : definitely rock is somewhere up there, i have found a lot more interest in more electronic music ?? i’m not sure that’s the right word for it but uh, we’ll just say that.

favorite movie : currently, shin godzilla. i just love godzilla in general so i would also slap down final wars next to it. i also really really liked dragonball super: broly, def my favorite anime movie.

favorite series : game wise, definitely kingdom hearts. i know the lore is a complicated fuckfest - but i love it to death regardless, people rag on it too much. anime series, probably my hero academia currently ??

last song : not really the full song but, this video featuring two time by jack stauber. it’s super fuckin’ good and gets me motivated to draw.

last series : record of lodoss war !! wanted to try the game but i decided to watch the OG series first cuz the elf girl was really cute. before that was gundam iron orphan and ... mercury witch? tbh, did not like mercury witch. felt more like a highschool melodrama more than a gundam series.

last movie : puss in boots: the last wish !! i honestly forgot it was a fucking shrek spin-off for a good chunk of the last one, it was so good. dreamworks coming back with a bang so big we can forgive them for boss baby and trolls.

currently reading : nothing tbh - i’m not really a reading guy ?? i just kinda don’t have the patience for it nor can i really find a book i really enjoy.

currently watching : my hero academia s6 and uh ... that’s the main one so far ??

currently working on : a ryukyu picture !! i’ve made a shite ton of progress on it and it’s my first time using my big huion tablet with clip studio paint. it’s going great tbh and i’m proud of it!

tagged by : both @dcviated & @boomermania !! tagging : @knightshonour , @celestiialnotes , @truexman , @truethes , @stovthearted​ , @ofdetonation , @ofgravitation , @electricea and @corrchoigilt !!

[wordssometimesfail]

@skinks​ tagged me in a music meme, and the only thing I like more than getting music recommendations is giving them, so here I go! My top 10 most recent repeated songs (I think it’s supposed to be of all time or something but recent is definitely more fun):

Petey - DON’T TELL THE BOYS Was I exposed to this one because of a McElroy podcast? Yes. Am I embarrassed by this? No, fuck you. This is the musical equivalent of lying on your back in the grass on a sunny summer’s day with your feet in a body of water and your Very Close Friend beside you, and your heart is full of Love (platonic or romantic, either works for this song). Reddiecore, for the IT girlies, but also just a fucking gorgeous song.

San Fermin - Jackrabbit I saw this beautiful art post where the artist said they were inspired by this song, so I naturally looked it up immediately, and immediately was obsessed. It’s melancholy and thrilling and broke me in half. Also, coincidentally, very much an Eddie Kaspbrak song. I’m not doing this on purpose, I promise.

Gowan - (You’re A) Strange Animal I was at this massive, cavernous thrift store with my family and this song came on over the speakers, so I typed part of the chorus out on my phone so I could find it later. Delightfully 80s, it was made for me. It also just so happens to be the theme song for a totally real 90s sitcom that definitely didn’t end badly for all involved!

LeBrock - Runaway This was a totally random discovery too, I found it on a big retrowave playlist in search for more tracks and artists. It’s just so glittery and dramatic, and it’s become a very fun addition to my Daydreaming About My OCs rotation.

Heathers: The Musical (World Premiere Cast Recording) - Candy Store It slaps. Next question.

The Midnight - Days of Thunder Recently discovered The Midnight because of @thetrickyowl​ and it’s become one of my new favourite things! Magical, deeply nostalgic tracks that just make you feel like neon reflected in wet pavement in the middle of the night. The sax in this one feels like it’s right out of The Lost Boys, and part of the tune is wonderfully reminiscent of “The Boys of Summer”.

Loveless - Running Up That Hill (A Deal With God) Just a great cover of a fantastic song, honestly.

Ninja Sex Party - 6969 A nearly 9 minute epic about going to the year 6969 and saving the world from the tyranny of the evil Dick Elders with the power of horniness. It’s like if Tenacious D was really into synths and sci-fi/fantasy, and it shreds.

Starbomb - The Hero of Rhyme ... This one is just because I was really excited for Tears of the Kingdom. I regret nothing.

The Midnight - America Online See above re: the band, but this song in particular is just so ethereal and spacey, it fucking transports you to an analog dreamscape and I love it.

Tagging @greymichaela, @aleatoryw, @glassblossomsthunderstorm, @bebeocho, the aforementioned @thetrickyowl, and anyone else who wants to do it!

[doomedandstoned]

Phoenix Doomers MOSARA Reveal “Zion’s Eyes”

~Doomed & Stoned Debuts~

By Billy Goate

I've been wondering lately whether sludge metal just might one day overtake all other subgenres as the authentic sound of the common, everyday Joe and Jane. Of course, it would take a big, sinking dip even further into dystopia before that would happen. In our lifetimes, we've witnessed the medium ooze from the heavy underground and into mainstream consciousness with bands like Crowbar, Eyehategod, and Melvins. A generation later, we've got bands like Gurt, Weedeater, and Lord Mantis taking sludge in their own direction, expanding its mucky presence even further in the Kingdom of Metal.

There's another notable band I want to bring to your attention: Phoenix four-piece MOSARA. They're not new exactly, more retooled from an earlier iteration dating back to the 2000s. Founding member and frontman Tony Gallegos remains the constant. Joining him on guitar (and occasionally singing) is Nikos Mixas. Bassist Christopher Burns and drummer John Quin round out the rhythm section. This wealth of talent spills over into adjacent bands like Twingiant, Beira, Authority Zero, and Secrets of Lost Empires.

Last year, Mosara made a powerful entrance on Transylvanian Recordings with their massive self-titled full-length debut. Now they've constructed a four-song juggernaut similarly nested in doom, with caustic, sludgey undertones.

The first track on 'Only The Dead Know Our Secrets' (2022) is a turbulent one. "Mágissa" is ancient Greek for a witch known to practice the dark arts (mageuó). The song begins with a whirling riff that oscillates like a restless moth, soon to be joined by the horde. You really need to be listening with headphones to experience this tempest of low-tuned notes and battering drums. The guitar breaks out briefly into a Cantrellesque solo, then we find ourselves in the eye of the storm, watching chaos unfold. Winds dense with debris encircle us. If you're looking for a point of comparison, Conan's dirt 'n' bones ethos comes to mind. However, you'd have to go back to "Head Creeps" from that frowzy 1995 Alice in Chains LP to find a song this thick with weather.

The one you're all here for today, of course, is "Zion's Eyes." It begins with gentle acoustic picking that seems a touch sorrowful. An ancient-sounding theme is given electricity and the first time it's pronounced with a tone that sounds sharp, abrasive, even primitive. The full band pounds away at the riff, as crusty vocals share what only Zion's Eyes have seen. Imagine a marriage between Monolord and Kylesa that's disrupted at the altar. An extended meditative section has us marching 'cross the desert, journey bound to the Promised Land.

I touch the sun I kiss the sky I feel the Zephyr's kisses in my eyes I kill the sun She burn the sky She ride this caravan through Zion's Eyes

I asked Mosara to shed some light on the record's underlying themes, and Nikos had this to share:

The song "Zion's Eyes" was penned by Tony around 2005, during the first incarnation of Mosara. The lyrical themes for this song and Mosara in general have to do with mysticism, history, and mythology. 'Only The Dead Know Our Secrets' has an ancient Greek concept to it. We used a Greek bouzouki at the beginning of "The Permanence of Isolation" and at the end of "Mágissa" there is a spoken word part in Greek from the poem 'Theogony' written by Hesiod, an ancient Greek poet.

Indeed, traditional instruments beckon us to the third track, "The Permanence of Isolation." This tune is dark, man. One track on a similar level of dankness is Electric Wizard's "Flower of Evil aka Malifore" -- and this is arguably even darker. I imagined torrential rains pummeling the rocky cliffs along the Pacific Coast Highway. After several hearty rounds of fuck you! the song's heartbeat quickens with adrenaline, transforming into something monstrous before our very ears.

The album concludes with its title track, a 10-minute doomer. The presentation of the opening riff seems to scratch some kind of itch for me, especially that low-end. Vocals are raspy and fierce, not unlike legendary NOLA crooner Kurt Windstein. The mood overall is downcast and afflicted, in some ways a truer form of funeral doom owing to its raw emotion. Almost imperceptibly, the song veers off into an extended trance, with guitar feedback cycling hypnotically around meandering bass and drums. A distant guitar improvises on the original theme's remains.

And now, get ready for the single version of "Zion's Eyes" by Mosara. Anticipate the release of Only The Dead Know Our Secrets on July 22nd, available on streaming platforms everywhere.

Give ear...

Zion's Eyes (Single Stream Edit) by Mosara

SOME BUZZ

The latest offering from the doom quartet delivers fuzz laden groove rhythms, dynamic riffs, and a progressive twist. Shrouded in an all encompassing gloomy atmosphere, Only The Dead Know Our Secrets is a smorgasbord of delicious distortion and heavy genre fusion.

Mosara is a Phoenix, Arizona based doom band that was originally formed and active during the early 2000s. In late 2018, founding vocalist/guitarist, Tony Gallegos (Enirva/Twingiant) reformed the band. The new members included guitarist Nikos Mixas (Twingiant), bassist Kristoffer Reynolds (Beira) and drummer John Quin (Authority Zero/Secrets of the Lost Empires). Mosara’s sound is a doom foundation that melds several different genres of heavy music to include stoner metal, classic/prog metal and atmospheric sludge.

Mosara by Mosara

In the fall of 2020, Mosara started recording their first full-length, self-titled album. Mosara was recorded and mixed sans any recording software. The release was raw, authentic, and heartfelt. Mosara was released in May of 2021 via Transylvanian Recordings and was well received among several heavy music blogs and websites. The band’s brand of “atavistic doom” was what set MOSARA apart from all the other bands in its subgenre.

In 2021, bassist Kristoffer Reynolds left Mosara and was replaced by Christopher Burns (Hex Volt/Bright Sunshine). The band immediately began writing material for their sophomore effort. Tracking commenced in March of 2022 and the new album, 'Only The Dead Know Our Secrets,' is expected to be self-released in the summer. The album will be released on both vinyl and digital formats with the vinyl edition featuring a secret track.

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[balillee]

my unpopular dsmp opinions, some of which genuinely should be popular

c!dream has crossed the moral event horizon and is irredeemable. once you cross that threshold, you're no longer a 'morally grey' character.

pre-recorded, heavily produced lore killed the lore. it was cool, sure, but you completely misunderstand the magic that the smp had when people watched it initially. the story is improv and that's how we like it. we can tell the cc's have lost interest in it, you can admit that to us, we'll understand, just stop lying to me.

c!dream's pov isn't necessary to understand his character or his motivations. if you've watched literally any c!primeboys stream he's basically spelled it out for you.

i don't understand how fans can dislike l'manberg or have claimed to be against it since the beginning. i honestly don't get it. what's so bad about wanting your own spot where you make your own rules and skirt accountability that has been used to technically oppress you before - and, before someone who never saw the earlier streams tries to disagree with this, the og l'manberg crew were imprisoned for shit that everyone else on the server was practically encouraged to do. also, what do you have against fun and happiness?

i think some of you forget that 'hybrids' aren't a thing, discounting c!ranboo. there's no piglin hybrids, c!techno is just a pig. there's no avian hybrids, c!phil is just a man with wings. there's no creeper hybrids, c!sam is just a creeper who's indecently exposed from the hips down. canonically there's no hybrids, and therefore no hybrid discrimination. people ran with that concept too much.

the loss and the fanon rewriting of the early lore up until pogtopia has ruined fandom perception of c!dream and the og l'manberg boys. c!tommy is more morally white than you think he is, and c!dream has always been a villain - he massacres and he kills and he destroys and he schemes and he always has broken his own rules. no wonder the boys wanted their own space after how they were treated.

i think ranboo oftentimes forgets his own lore. he brings stuff up that c!ranboo may have done, such as exploding the community house to frame c!tommy, holding onto Cat, and it goes absolutely nowhere. we've gotten all of these developments in his story but they have never been expanded on, and we're nowhere closer to figuring out his relationship to c!dream and what his other side is and honestly i see no hope that we'll be any closer to knowing even by the end of the year.

your characters don't all have to be morally grey for the story itself to be morally grey. this is fiction - some people can be nothing but evil and others can be nothing but good. being purely good or evil doesn't mean that you're one dimensional, either.

c!dream apologists have ruined c!dream for me. he's not a good person. how about you let me enjoy a villain for who he actually is, rather for than your percieved woobified ragdoll you pass off as c!dream.

the story was better when there was a central writer. it was brilliant back when wilbur wrote it to be that the environment drives the characters and the story, and it was really good in early s2 up until techno's execution day when it was more character driven. since then, the amount of autonomy people have over their characters without any central 'director', as it were, has been a detriment to the story overall. there needs to still be one overarching figure or director or writer.

not everyone is a main character. just because they have a pov, doesn't mean they're a main character. some characters have such little impact on the overall plot and describing everyone as a main character oversaturates the story and makes some characters seem more important than they are.

the egg lore had so much potential up until it didn't. all that built up threat that we were expecting and we still don't even know what the egg wants really other than just controlling people. does it hatch?

genuinely, if there's no major plot developments by the end of the year (and let's be honest, it's a very big possibility at this point), a few of the more prominent members of the server should do a podcast style stream talking about where the story would have gone, because at least then we would have gotten somewhat closer to a conclusion.

c!techno is a villain and an asshole and a bad person. he stops caring for people once their interests don't align with his or if they look at him funny. he makes meta-jokes about his own tyrannical and oppressive nature. stop taking that away from him. he's a bad person. cc!techno does a fabulous job portraying that in a comedic manner and the balancing of him being a deeply flawed person with deeply flawed morals and ideas with his comedically-portrayed stubbornness and lack of willingness to hear out opposing viewpoints is incredible. i want to like characters who are arseholes for the sake of being arseholes, and who refuse to take into account the hurt they've caused either out of self-righteousness or because they don't care, so let me. he's the anti-peacemaker, LET ME HIM ENJOY HIM FOR THAT!!!!

i think tommy and wilbur's way of doing lore is my favourite. relies heavily on improv, voice acting, sprite acting and facial expressions. really shows off the acting props and they pull off the emotional moments well for the insanity of the creative medium.

i'm not a fan of fan-music. i find songs about media i'm into difficult to listen to. coincidentally i'm also not a fan of shit like slam poetry or live music/musicals/pantomimes.

the death of l'manberg killed people's motivation to go on the server casually. i've talked about it more in depth before, but destroying what was a central, driving environment for the story killed momentum and motivation. imagine in an episode of she-ra, the princess alliance just nuke the freight zone and all of the members of the horde just have to deal with it. that would be shit.

until season 3 has some momentum, i'm counting the end of the smp as january 20th. that had a conclusion. season 3 has... whores, technoblade and tommyinnit. that's about it.

i wasn't a fan of the development of c!tubbo joining las nevadas. i preferred snowchester and the walled city conflict. give c!tubbo some backbone and some badassery. also tubbo where's the fucking nuke bro if you're shelving that plotline just tell us on like an alt stream what the plan was i beg

add like 2 or 3 new people to the server so that michael mcchill has someone to talk to and so that there's something always happening on the server. it gives the og's more motivation to return if things are happening in and out of canon and it'll help with momentum, and who knows? maybe they can write their own story/stories.

i really think that c!sam is an underrated character. he's multilayered, extremely interesting, and the dichotomy of his loyalty to his job and how far down the rabbithole that's taken him versus the genuine love he has for his friends that drives him to do what he does out of wanting to do right by them is brilliant. i don't talk about c!sam enough.

STOP HAVING FUCKING VILLAIN ARCS!!! I'M FUCKIN SICK OF IT!!!! i want to see more characters who see everyone else being absolute selfish, abhorrent cunts and go 'if nobody else is going to be a good person, i fucking will'. GIVE ME SOME MORAL WHITENESS!!! IT'S INTERESTING AND MORALLY GOOD CHARACTERS ARE FUN!!!

let tommyinnit build cobblestone towers. everyone bullied him too much for how ugly they were and the one he built outside of the prison looked genuinely really nice. it gives the boy something to do.

i'm a fan of the revive book and the canon lives system. don't ask me why, but i think it might just be the morbidity of it. it adds to c!dream's god complex persona, and i think the fragility of death itself is a really fun concept. not enough fan cc's have made connections with that and c!mumza, and it could make for cool fanfic.

ranboo your house is fucking ugly. it's an eyesore

c!niki, and to some extent now c!jack and c!fundy, are boring me and ruining my mood. i think c!jack is the closest to being an actually interesting sympathetic villain, mainly because nobody else seems to realise that c!niki is a villain. not a good one imo, but she's a villain. c!jack just has the problem of starting a new project over and over and over and over again and because of the slow in momentum for the primary cast, there hasn't been a lot of recent development for him.

not really a dream smp opinion, but if philza went full geordie accent, i would love it. i want him to, in canon, say shit like 'me n ye' instead of 'me and you' and use geordie dialect. i want him to be physically unintelligible because it's funny.

i don't really know what's up with c!foolish but i think he's a dumbass. he had a while to think about c!q's proposal and then changed his mind about joining the guy to admitted to letting him die just because. moron

i wish there was more c!eret lore. i wish he was an actual king with an actual kingdom and actual subjects and royal advisors. c!eret is far too fucking cool to be the king of nothing and nobody. fatten up the kingdom and the castle with people who work with c!eret, and don't just make it tyrannical and dictator-y to prove the point of the server's 'anarchists'. make it a healthy working environment, please - if you want moral greyness, have 'anarchists' who claim to care about the welfare of the server oppose a kingdom of happy people under a fair and just ruler because their ideologies clash.

the server needs more characters who oppose anarchy in more peaceful ways, or passively wish for systems to be a part of. i think a chaos vs order conflict ending only in mutual understanding where everyone understands that they should just leave each other alone would slot nicely into the story that's been created so far.

you need to have watched all of the previous arcs to understand the story. i've seen people argue that they don't need to know about earlier lore to understand the prison, but that's the equivalent of only watching the final season of pretty little liars and expecting to understand the context of what's going on.

some characters aren't that morally grey. some characters, take c!tommy for example, are definitely on the whiter side for the morality scale, he's just an asshole. he's abrasive and rude and a dickhead but he also doesn't agree with terrorism, he's patriotic, he strives for a better world, he's apologetic, but he's also a fucking BITCH.

you can add onto this if you want, but not if you're a c!dream apologist. nobody likes your opinions

[little-smartass]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT COVER ALBUM - the legendary Vampire Lestat is back and bigger and badder than ever, this time bringing a whole album of song covers ranging from classic bangers to newer fresh takes on chart hits! get your copy now, complete with a transcript of the artist's commentary on each song!

(songs I think Lestat would cover and release as an album in an attempt to re-kickstart his career and/or make some sort of dramatic statement to Louis. tracklist and "artist commentary" under the cut)

Survival - Muse

“And I’ll reveal my strength, to the whole human race, yes I am prepared, to stay alive, and I won’t forgive, and vengeance is mine, and I won’t give in, because I choose to thrive! Yeah I’m gonna win!”

Oh, I wish this song had been around back on that opening night at the Cow Palace - how apt that would have been! What a fucking anthem! They would have been rioting all night. I mean, they already were, but, like, because of the music. Not because vampires were being immolated in the middle of the crowd. Different kind of riot.

The Bitch Is Back - Elton John

“I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch, oh the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact, I can bitch, I can bitch, ‘cause I’m better than you, it’s the way that I move, the things that I do!”

One day I want to have this play as I walk into Night Island. I’ll time it perfectly so that I throw off my coat - my denim jacket, or- oh, no, a fur! Maximum drama! - just as the chorus starts. Armand will know that I’m coming of course, but I think that’ll just make it even better. And I have good memories to this song... [muffled question] Sorry, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, bébé. [laughter]

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

"Oh my, feels just like I don’t try, look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me, head down, swaying to my own sound, flashes in my face now, all I know is everybody loves me”

Look, do I even need to explain this one? Didn’t think so.

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

"I don't give a damn ‘bout my reputation, I've never been afraid of any deviation, and I don't really care if you think I'm strange, I ain't gonna change - and I'm never gonna care bout my bad reputation"

This one's fairly self-explanatory again. It could have been my personal anthem when I was mortal quite honestly. And it's an awful lot of fun to jump about and headbang to, don't you think? That's a new thing I've found out about, headbanging. People have been hopping about to music looking like fools for centuries but now there's a name for it. Fantastic.

bad guy - Billie Eilish

"I’m that bad type, make your mama sad time, make your girlfriend mad type, might seduce your dad time… I’m the bad guy. Duh.”

Creepy? Check. Sexy? Check. Tongue-in-cheek? Check check. This song was great and a lot of fun to cover.

Lover to Lover - Florence + the Machine

“I believe there’s no salvation for me now, no space among the clouds, and I feel I’m heading down, but that’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright”

I don’t know, this one just felt very relevant. Also the piano was great to do. You might have noticed that I’ve picked a lot of songs with piano, and that’s because I bullied the studio into getting me a goooooorgeous grand piano for the recording space and I wanted to use it as much as possible!

Feeling Good - Muse

“Stars when you shine, you know how I feel, scent of the pine, you know how I feel, oh freedom is mine, and I know how I feel”

I just really like this song - I’ve done a cover of an excellent cover! Can- can you put emojis in this? Do people still use emojis? Well imagine I’ve put the shrug one. Wait, isn’t there- Daniel, Daniel, come here, isn’t there a shrug emoji made up of keyboard- [muffled words] yes! The shrug one! Yes, put that in the transcription. [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] I just like this song.

The Man - The Killers

“I got gas in the tank, I got money in the bank, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man, I got skin in the game, I got a household name, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man”

I feel like this one speaks for itself too. Can you put that shrug emoji thing in here again? [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] Yes!

J'ai Pas Envie - MIKA

J'ai pas envie, de faire comme si, comme les maris, qui disent oui, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie d'te faire plaisir, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, si tu m'aimes viens me le dire"

Look, I'm not going to translate the whole song for you, because it has all this clever wordplay you just totally lose in english… but the gist of it is that these two lovers are… at odds a lot. It's… it's maybe a little spiteful [laughter] but in a fun way! It's a fun song! Louis won't even be mad about it, it's MIKA.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

"When I'm not with you, think of you always (I miss those long hot summer nights), when I'm not with you, think of me always, always"

[Long pause] God, I miss Freddie.

Let 'Em Talk - Kesha

Ah, full disclosure - I put this song in purely because of the expression Louis made when I played it in the car and it got to the line “can suck my dick” and she did that popping noise… it was incredible, and I just knew I had to cover it so I could see his expression when I said that. I can’t wait to play it to him. [laughter]

So What - P!nk

"So so what, I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you, and guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, (and you're a tool, so)"

I'm actually a big fan of nineties and noughties female stars - all that grrrrrrrl power, it's great fun, you know? I'd say this one is fairly self-explanatory, because I am still a rockstar! This is my new album! Fuck you EMP and your sniffy little article calling me "washed up"!

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

"But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

This one could be self-deprecating, but it's also very vindictively angry at the same time, and that's a combination I definitely get. Like, oh, it's my fault, isn't it? It's my fucking fault again, what a surprise. Perhaps "learn from your mother or you'll spend your days biting your own neck" is a little on the nose… [muffled words] you've read my books, right? [muffled words] Good, good.

Missy - The Airbourne Toxic Event

"But I swear there's still some good in me, I think if you'd stuck around you'd see, all the botched attempts at integrity I once had"

Oh, I was feeling philosophical when I picked this one. No, philosophical isn't the right word… melancholy? Do people still use that word? "I swear I swear I swear I'll never get sad" is both furiously defiant and yet so self-defeatingly ironic. [Exasperated noise] Enough of that. Next!

Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk

"I don't know if I can yell any louder, how many times have I kicked you out of here, or said something insulting? I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of nearly anything, when my heart is broken… (please, please don't leave me)"

Oh, we’re… we’re getting to this section now. [clearing throat] Well, I have to make up for that sucking dick line, don’t I? Get a bit vulnerable. Oh God, why did I decide to do this bit? [muffled words] [bad chicago accent] But why buy the cow? Because you love him, you really do. [sigh, laughter]

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons

"Oh, I always let you down, shattered on the ground, still I find you there, next to me, and oh, the stupid things I do, I'm far from good it's true, still I find you, next to me"

Why did I- I don’t remember putting so many of these ones in.

Run To You - Pentatonix

"I've been settling scores, I've been fighting so long, but I've lost your war, and our kingdom is gone... how shall I win back your heart which was mine? I have broken bones and tattered clothes, I've run out of time"

[Sigh] [clears throat] Yeah. I think we can move onto the next one.

Love of My Life - Queen

“Love of my life, don't leave me, you've stolen my love, you now desert me, love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me, because you don't know, what it means to me”

I play this one sometimes on my baby grand when we've had a fight, and it's impossible for him to stay angry. He's a sucker for this sort of… formality in romance. God, I wish I'd realised that earlier. If I'd written him a letter in fancy copperplate script with scented paper and enclosed rose petals politely requesting him to bend me over his desk back in the day, it might not have taken two centuries of mutual blue balls for us to figure our shit out. Ah well, live and learn… as it were. [muffled words] Look, I did a whole bunch of vulnerable songs! Now I get to make sex jokes! [laughter] oh fuck off.

[bondsmagii]

so a while back I was talking about extensive blacklists and somebody messaged to see if I wanted screenshots of a very impressive blacklist from an old Discord server they were in. of course, I did. here are the aforementioned screenshots as promised -- naturally the person wishes to remain anonymous, but here’s what they said:

hello, t'was i who was your Long Blacklist anon. here's what i have, or at least what i have scraped from the sides of my massive screenshots folder

to note: in the first image, in the section "TSS specific", the Remus mentioned is one of the characters in the show that the server is about,  whether he's secondary or main is up for debate. like. a WHOLE CHARACTER

some of these are understandable honestly, i don't mind a lot of this, but i had forgotten "y'all" was on here and. i'm sure that was probably said about 500 times in there because. how do you. IT'S Y'ALL

I gotta admit that I was not expecting this to be so wild. I had no idea an entire regional accent would be on here; nor could I have anticipated the fact that the whole of Ohio State University would be a banned topic, but there you go.

full transcription under the cut, for which you owe me, because this is long.

USER SPECIFIC

Recording <@!412026064970186753>’s voice without permission

Pet names directed at @‘beat drop’ A Jumbo Jellyfish

Referring to @rrationality in the feminine, “kiddo” directed at by anyone but Patton

“Tinker bell” or the phrase “I just want you to succeed” directed at @Groundhog badger

Deleting messages from @JEYKSHK without informing first

“Kitten” directed at @jelly 

“Know-it-all” directed at @The Rat God Summons Thee, asking to roleplay, people fighting in earshot, interacting while under the influence of any substances

Patronising and/or directing “cute” nicknames (smol, baby, dear, etc.) at @arson, overly aggressive conpliments (heart spamming, etc.)

“Princess”/“Champ”/“Sweetheart”/“Buddy” directed at @Silverquill (She/Her)

“Sweetie”/“honey”/“babe” and other pet names directed at @let airam see fuck without permission

“Hun”/“love” directed at @Ren 

“you’re acting like ___” and “very nice” directed at @probably activism, venting privately without warning/asking

“Dumb”/“stupid”/“idiot”, etc. directed at @blurryeyesinbewilderment 

“Selfish”/“worthless” directed at @Safira 

Calling attention to/making fun of the typos of @one of the best ppl here tbh

Referring to @It ya boy idk in the feminine, mocking

Referring to @I’m gonna shine like the sun as a hypochondriac

Referring to @Currently Committing Tax Fraud as argumentative

TSS SPECIFIC [translator’s note: this is an abbreviation for The S*nders Sides-- the fandom the server is about. I censor this because I do not care for him and do not wish to type his accursed name.]

Any discussion (including mentions), images, gifs and links involving Remus, and ships where he is included

The phrase “have you ever thought about killing your brother?” [translator’s note: this entire phrase was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Unsympathetic portrayals of the Sides (being villainous, abusive, (passive) aggressive, restrictive, etc.)

Ships involving the Sides and Sleep

Romantic Prinxiety

Intruality

Romantic logicality 

Snitties (tumblr post)

CenThomas (tumblr post)

TOPICS

Tangerines

Depersonalisation and depersonification

Divorce

Being controlled/your actions not being your own (including mind control)

Bullying (in a non-joking context)

Burning buildings and house fires

Belittling serious issues

Zombies

Existential issues (such as questioning reality)

Claustrophobic (small) spaces

Being patronised

Puppets

Bad parental relationships

Narcissistic people

Ohio State University

Annesia/mind-wiping

Bernie Sanders (US Politician)

Hell (discussion of)

Anesthesia

Fasting (for religious reasons or otherwise)

Unhappy endings

Power outages

Directing “stupid” at another person

Southern or Texan accents

Cringe culture

Spiders

Heights

The concept of pure nothingness

POC being stereotypes as promiscuous

Conflating age regression with age play [translator’s note: ‘age play’ was blacked out behind censor bars.]

Condiments (ketchup, mustard, etc.)

Malevolent of morbid supernatural entities

Food dicourse

Roanoke (the historical colony)

Self-depreciation

Heated discussions

Major character death

Hanahaki disease

Ants (the insect)

Eye lip eye (sequence of emojis)

Realistic-looking teeth on non-human things

Teeth in any place but a mouth

Human trafficking

Worms

OTHER MEDIA

The son “Sing me to sleep” by Alan Walker

Creepypasta (all forms)

The song “Hide and seek” by SeeU

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared (webseries)

The song “Last christmas” by Wham!

Heathers (movie and musical)

The song “Empty” by boyinaband

The song “You should see me in a Crown” by Billie Eilish

The Momo challenge

Stephen King’s It (book and movies)

The song “Bury a friend” by Billie Eilish

Undertale and Delta Rune (video games)

The song “Wish you were gay” by Billie Eilish

The song “Ocean eyes” by Billie Eilish

Sora from Kingdom Hearts (video games)

Scooby Doo on Zombie Island (movie)

Onward (movie)

WORDS/NAMES/PHRASES

The word “senpai”

The name “Cryptid”

“I see the light”/“I’m going into the light”/“Light at the end of the tunnel”

“A beautiful mind”

“Babe” in a romantic context

“Baby” and “sweetiepie” as pet names

The name “Tristan”

The name “Ana”

The name “Jamie”

The name “William/Will”

“Make yourself useful”

“Y’all”

“Agere” (as a shortform of age regression)

SOUNDS AND VISUALS

Fife music (fife and drum corps)

Loud noises

Spiders and insects

Trypophobic images

“Distant shore” and “It’s all over isn’t it” from Steven Universe

Homestuck (all forms)

Crying while laughing

High saturation/bright images/eyes strain

[asphalt-cocktail]

Finding my way back

Summary: Nearly a decade after you and John break up you manage to find your way back to him.

A/N: Hello my dears! So I wrote this for Beatle and Queen secret santa exchange! Apologies it’s not heavily Christmas/holiday themed; it does take place during winter so I hope that counts for something. I hope you enjoy your fic as much as i enjoyed writing it @sweetrosetta-martin​! I wrote this after I heard the song Green Papaya by Lianne La Havas which makes me feel some type of way. Also shout out to @casafrass​ and @moodysunflowergirl​ for putting this together! Thank you for all your hard work and organization for this! 

Pairing: John Lennon x Female!Reader

Warnings: Okay friends, we’ve got a bit of everything in here! It’s got some mild illusions to smut and steamy smooches, some angst, some fluff, pinning, longing, break ups, cigarettes, alcohol (I think), swearing, we’ve got Teddy boy!John and 70s!John. But no actual smut. 

Word Count: 5.4k

Your heart ached in your chest as you sat in front of John, “What do you mean we can’t see each other anymore?” Your voice cracked with emotion.

John watched your watery eyes from behind his glasses and let out a deep sigh, “I’m going to be touring a lot and Brian wants us to move to London, so I just…” His own voice cracked with emotion, “So I just don’t think we should keep seeing each other.” He looked away unable to maintain eye contact with you.

“But we survived Germany!” You protested back, “It will be okay, I can visit you when you have shows nearby,” You wanted this to work, being with John felt like home. You sniffed, “You know like wait backstage with flowers and everything.” You said and began to rub your stinging eyes.

You were right, the two of you had survived Germany, but it was only because it lasted a few short months and your relationship was open out of respect for the two of you; John didn’t know how long this Beatles thing was going to last and from the looks of it, it was going to last quite a while. John rubbed the tears from behind his glasses, smudging his finger along the lenses and clouding the vision of your perfect face. He squeezed your hand tightly in his own, “It’ll be fine I promise,” He said pausing to kiss your knuckles, “I love you [Y/N] I really do, and if it’s meant to be we will be together again.” He gave you one last chaste kiss; your faces were wet from tear and it was sad and short lived. You embraced him tightly inhaling the scent of cigarettes, mint gun, and a smell that was so distinctly John before finally letting him go to part ways.

The two of you exchanged letters for the first few months of his first tour, but at this point it has been so long that you didn’t remember who stopped writing who and honestly, why did it matter? John was constantly an aching thought in the back of your mind, and you had constant reminders of him from posters to news articles, to full size cardboard cut outs that sat in record stores. It seemed everywhere you turned you saw him which only increased the yearning.

It took several months but you finally found yourself back in a routine that didn’t include John, it was almost like when he went to Germany except this time he wasn’t coming back for good. You finished up school, found a job working in marketing, and had several shitty boyfriends before you found yourself in New York city working in the marketing division of a fashion brand and met Noah. He was nice, but he wasn’t John.

He didn’t smoke cigarettes, or wear glasses, and couldn’t understand art. But he was here, and the sex was pretty okay.

Noah was nice and he made you a pot of coffee every morning he slept over and didn’t try to pry too far into your personal life. All around you didn’t have any qualms with him; it just didn’t feel complete.

The scent of freshly roasted coffee drifted through your home as you woke up with your alarm clock blaring in your ears. You sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and rolled out of bed. Noah was busying himself in the kitchen, you should just ask him to move in at this point. “Did you get the paper?” You asked sitting down at the table.

“On the counter, love.” He answered before grabbing it and sliding it across the table towards you. Much to your surprise in big bold letters on the front page “PAUL SPLITS THE BEATLES” were plastered across it. Naturally a picture of the doe-eyed man you once called a friend accompanied it as well as a smaller picture of the group.

“Fucking Christ.” You mumbled to yourself and turned the page, hoping to find something else to read, some couple getting married or some advice column, but no, your eyes continued to draw themselves back to the fab four and specifically John. He looked wildly different now; long hair, glasses, eccentric wardrobe all made him look almost unfamiliar

You finally gave in and read the article; from what you observed in the news and on television tensions were high between the four and it seemed as though fame had gotten the best of them, “Crazy, right?” Noah asked handing you a cup of coffee, “Who would have thought? It looked like they were going to be together forever. But get your riches and split I guess, yeah?”

A sour feeling filled your belly, John and Paul cared more about the Beatles than Noah could ever know. The idea of get rich and dip was ridiculous, wasn’t it? “I don’t think that is the case.” You mumbled before abruptly getting up to get ready for work, forgetting your morning coffee.

It had been almost a decade since you had last seen John, and a lot could have changed. He was no longer the tough teddy boy you had grown to love. His hair had grown out and he was with Yoko Ono now, from the looks of if they were essentially attached at the hip. A part of you hoped you and Noah would never achieve that level of need in your relationship.

Unfortunately, as months passed there seemed to be no other way to progress your and Noah’s relationship and one day he slept over and never left. You no longer had your own space to escape to or much alone time aside from when Noah came home an hour after you from work. You felt throttled and frankly didn’t like it, nor did you like Noah much anymore. It seemed like the right step though, after three years of dating; you could tell Noah craved monogamy.  

Your day at work was long and exhausting. All you could think of was your hour of peace and quiet before Noah came home and talked about his boring life at work. If you had to use a color to describe your life it would be grey, dull, boring, no vibrancy or excitement.

New York was full of bright vibrant colors and never slept; it was much livelier that than the cloudy northern United Kingdom city you once called home, but in the small apartment that you lived in there was constant monotony. Waking up, making coffee, going to work, coming home, reading and making dinner, going to sleep; only to repeat that for five days in a row and then sit around the house during the weekend, or leave to get groceries if you were lucky. If you were unlucky, Noah’s accountant friends would come over and talk your ear off about their corporate work life you just couldn’t wrap your head around.

Your mind was swimming with thoughts, mostly about your stagnant life as you navigated your way off the subway once you reached your stop and walked off. It was loud and cramped as everyone flooded off; you kept your head low and pushed your way through the crowd. A firm, but boney shoulder pushed into you causing your thoughts to flee and your brows furrowed as you looked up, “Watch it, asshole.” You mumbled under your breath and looked up before you froze.

Your eyes locked with a pair of eyes that were all too familiar and all the breath in your body seemed to leave, “[Y/N]?” John asked you, seemingly just as shocked as you were.

Despite being in the subway station the world around you stopped. A few sputtering words came out to form an incoherent sentence as you were consumed with shock. Your body became ridged and you sharply exhaled before turning and continuing your short jaunt home.

That night you laid on your side and your mind was consumed with so many thoughts, mostly John if you were being honest. You’d thought you had long since blocked the ghost from your memory, but it appeared that seeing him caused a number of memories to rouse from the depths of your consciousness. You hated it. John Lennon was once again living in your head rent free.

Noah gripped your side and kissed along your shoulders and neck while his hand rubbed your hips and slowly began to wander upwards towards your breasts. The sudden touch caused you to jump, “Not tonight,” You mumbled trying to sound tired.

Noah let out a soft sigh before giving your shoulder one last kiss, “Sorry, you had a long day, love.” He said pulling you close against him and resting his head on your shoulder. As you pretended to sleep you laid in your bed and stared at the wall of darkness in your room.

When the hell did John come to New York?

Did he live nearby?

Was Yoko with him?

Questions swirled around in your mind; questions that would not get answered unless you actively sought out an answer.

As sleep consumed you, you dreamt of John.

The Reeperbahn had a smell you would never forget. You didn’t know cities could have distinct smells until you traveled to Germany to visit John for the first time since he had left Liverpool. It was a combination of pollution, beer, and a smell you had hoped to never figure out what caused it. From his letters this place seemed larger than life, and when you took your first steps off the train you saw it was.

John tackled you with a warm hug, he smelled like sweat, beer, and cigarettes, “You stink.” You grinned and laughed as he kissed your face all over.

“Our options are kind of limited, love.” He grinned and wrapped his arm around your waist keeping you close to him as the two of you walked down the busy street.

He took you to a restaurant, you honestly hadn’t expected him to take you on a date especially with where you were and how little money he had. “Come on, I’ve got a show in two hours,” He grinned, excited to have you watch him play.

“And then we met this group of Germans, they’ll be at the show tonight. I know you’ll love them.” His eyes crinkled as he smiled at you, “Stu is going with one of them, Astrid. She’s great too, her ma lets us shower at her place and makes us dinner sometimes.” You soaked in all the stories John had to share.

His life seemed so exciting here in Germany, but you could see how exhausted he was beginning to get, “You’ve got to hear how we sound now, Pete’s still shit, but Paul, George and I are really getting better.” He shifted in his seat and poked at his food, “I don’t know if Stu is going to stick with us much longer though; he’s been talking about going back to art school.”

That night you and John slept cramped together in his little bunk bed in the back room. You woke up to him rubbing your arm with the tips of his calloused fingers and he kissed your shoulder.

Rolling over you captured his lips in a soft kiss, he tasted of beer and cigarettes and he clung to you, holding you so close it almost hurt. Breaking the kiss, he began to pepper soft kisses along your jaw and neck, “I love you so much,” He said between heavy breaths.

“I love you too John.” You responded letting out a soft whimper as his fingers began to rub you through the cloth short wore to sleep.

With a gasp you shot up in bed, coated in a layer of sweat and looked around the still dark room, wide eyed. Noah rubbed his sleepy eyes as he woke up, “What’s wrong, hun?” He asked.

You gained control of your breathing once more and laid back down, still uncomfortably sweaty; “Nothing, just a nightmare.” You answered and swallowed thickly.

---

For weeks, John plagued your mind and you were starting to convince yourself that you hadn’t truly seen him and that you were just going crazy. Your sleep was becoming more and more restless as time went on. It got so noticeable that even Noah questioned it.

“Take some time off, hun, you work too much.” He said.

So that was what you did. You finally had a week off after what felt like ages.

It was nice, but you were barely half a day into your vacation, and you began to feel restless. What could you possibly do to fill your time?

Your mind began to wander and drift off to thoughts of John; a wave of nausea immediately washed over you. “I need to leave.” You abruptly said and grabbed your purse and house keys before leaving your flat.

You soon found yourself at Central Park. Despite it being autumn, the weather was nice, the kind of nice where you look outside, and it seems warmer than it is. The breeze was soft but brisk you walked through the park enjoying the breath of fresh air. As you walked through the running paths you admired the changing leaves and the crunching sound they made under your feet.

You eyed a bench that overlooked The Lake, so cleverly named, and brushed the fallen leaves that covered it before you sat down. For once you felt like your mind was free from worry and the anxieties that had been consuming you the last several weeks.

That was until you got up and saw a familiar figure walking down the path that would directly cause yours. A shot of adrenaline shot through you and your heart began to race. It was as though your fight or flight responses had kicked in and they were telling you to get the fuck out of there. You frantically looked around and it felt like a lose-lose situation with whatever option you chose. So, you stayed; how bad was it going to be? Maybe he wouldn’t even notice?

John walked past your little out cove and glanced at you and then looked again, “Fucking hell.” He mumbled stopping in his tracks.

The two of you stood frozen, staring at each other for what seemed like a lifetime before John finally broke the silence, “I thought I saw you at the subway station.” He said bluntly, his familiar voice causing a warm feeling to erupt in your belly and spread to the tips of your fingers.

You opened your mouth and closed it, trying to think of something to say, “You did.” Was what you finally spoke.

“Right,” He sighed, looking down in defeat.

You stuffed your hands in your pockets and shifted the weight on your feet, “Do you want to sit?” You asked abruptly.

John looked at you through his round lenses and nodded, “Sure, I could sit for a while.” He answered.

The two of you sat across from each other on your respective benches, “So, how long have you lived here for?” John asked watching you nervously pick at your fingers.

You looked up from your hands, “About 6 years now.” You leaned back, now feeling confident enough to study his features. His face was thinner, age lines had begun to map themselves out on his face, and his hair was messily layered and framed the sides of his face nicely. He was still as handsome as ever, “How long have you lived here for?”

John cleared his throat and pulled out his cigarettes, placing one in his mouth, “About two years now,” the conversation was weird, like the two of you didn’t know what to talk about. You watched as John’s long fingers light his cigarette, the spicy smell filling the space between the two of you and the smoke delicately curling up towards the sky, “So do you work near by or something?” He asked casually crossing his legs and resting his arm on the back of the bench.

You shook your head, “No, I don’t I just needed to get out of the house.” You said, staring at the reason you felt urged to leave your home in the first place, “I only live about six blocks away. It’s a nice walk.” You added, your stomach suddenly feeling sour as you remembered Noah.

John hummed, inhaling deeply on the cigarette the ember burning a bright red before dimming ever so slightly, “Do you work at all?” His tone came off ruder than expected, but you knew he didn’t intend for it to.

“Marketing.” You answered simply. Your brain swam with question you had for your former lover, “Do you live nearby?” You asked returning the question back to him.

John nodded behind him, “The Dakotas.” He mimicked your shortness. You looked and could see the large building peaking out from the tops of the trees.

You hummed, “Must be nice.” You said flashing him a closed mouth smile.

“It is.” He added and stood up, taking one last deep inhale before stubbing out his half-smoked cigarette in the snow and putting it in his pocket, “You look good, you know.” He said, his eyes studying your seated form before settling on your face.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious and very aware of your existence you crossed pulled your winter coat tighter around you, “So do you John.” You responded, “You’ll have to show me your place sometime.” You boldly suggested.

John flashed you a crooked smile before fishing around in his pocket, “Call me and I’ll see if I can fit you into my schedule.” He said before handing you a business card. Of course, he had business cards.

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes as you took the thick and expensive paper and pocketed it, “I’ll have my people call your people.” You allowed a smile to break your nervous features.

That night your mind saw no peace. You sat in the bathroom staring at the business card in your hand. It was nearly 3 am and the delicate gold letters reflected in the shitty florescent lights that made your eyes ache as you repeatedly read the phone number and name.

The rest of your vacation it seemed as though you were not going to get the mental break you so desperately craved. You watched as Noah left for work and felt a pang of guilt rising in your chest; a pice of you felt greedy for wanting to see John again. So, you figured it would be best to tuck it away in the back of your mind to the place where your other thoughts of John lived and put the card away in a shoe box and tried to forget.

---

Forgetting about your interaction with John seemed to work well, that is until you and Noah broke up.

He stood in the doorway with the boxes of his things. You could tell he didn’t feel great, and neither did you. But a piece of you felt thankful that he was finally moving out. After seeing John your body craved the spontaneity that he used to give you, and the spontaneity that Noah had lacked.

Once the last of his things were moved from your apartment you felt as though a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You felt good, like a breath of fresh air. You busied yourself by rearranging your home and filling the empty spaces that Noah left after he and his belongings vacated your space.

As you moved your shoe boxes and rearranged your closet a business card slipped from the tear in one of them. It was the one that John had given you only a few months ago.

Your breath hitched in your throat as you stared at the intricate gold letters you familiarized yourself with that night that seemed so long ago. You looked at the clock, it was only 4 PM and you had hoped he wasn’t busy.

You curled up on your couch and held the phone receiver against your ear listening to it ring as you absentmindedly played with the stiff card in your hand.

“Hello?” You instantly recognized John’s voice.

“John?” You responded back, “It’s, um, it’s [Y/N]” You felt a surge of nerves pulse through you.

“You know, I expected you to call sooner.” John skipped the formal greetings.

You couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh, “Yeah, sorry about that. I suppose nerves got the best of me.” It wasn’t a whole truth, but a half truth, “Do you think you’d be interested in showing me your place sometime?” you asked remembering back to the conversation the two of you had several months prior.

John hummed and you could hear the soft rustle of paper in the background before he cleared his throat, “Yeah, I suppose I could fit you in. Did you want to stay for dinner?”

Your heart thudded in your chest, “Dinner?” You question out loud and let out a puff of air, “Yeah, I suppose I could.”

“Right, so 6 o’clock sound good?” John asked, “I can send a car for you.”

“A car?” You asked, not accustom to the luxuries of being a Beatle, “I can walk it’ll be fine.”

John let out a sigh, “It’s freezing outside and nearly pitch black. You aren’t walking.” He said firmly.

“Fine.” You answered in defeat and gave him your address to send the car.

“Right, be ready by 5:30.” He said  

“Shit, okay.” You said before bidding him farewell and scrambling to get ready. The sleek black car arrived and drove you to the Dakotas. It was nice, far nicer than any building you had ever been in before. The driver walked you up to John’s apartment and let you in.

The room was decorated in a hodgepodge of John’s interests, from music to art to antiques; with everything tastefully on display. John walked out, dressed casually in a shirt, jeans, and no shoes and drank in your figure as you stripped off your jacket. You shifted nervously under his intense gaze, “So, you wanted a tour, yeah?” John asked.

You nodded and watched as he crossed his arms over his chest, admiring how his biceps flexed and bulged when his hands rested in position, “Yeah, a tour.” You said secretly hoping this would amount to much more than a tour.

John stretched his arms out, “Well welcome to my humble home.” He greeted in a grandiose manor.

Humble, right.

John’s home was more extravagant than you could have imagined. It was much better than the apartment he lived in with Stu or the back room they had in Hamburg and even better than when he lived with Mimi. He had several cats that roamed around his home; it made you smile and remember the time he brought a stray home and convinced Mimi to keep him. It seemed as though old habits died hard when it came to John.

The two of you made your way back to his living room and he sat down on his couch, “Come on, sit.” He said patting the spot next to him.

“Oh,” You abruptly said, not noticing you had been standing in the middle of the room studying the various things on the wall, “Right.” You quickly sat on the couch uncomfortably stiff, “So… dinner?” You asked.

John nodded his head, not having forgotten the food and pulled out a box of take out menus, “Do you want to order something, I haven’t gotten much for groceries this week.” He admitted sheepishly.

You rifled through the various menus in his collection, “So,” You started, “Where is Yoko?” You asked honestly wondering where his other half was.

“We’re separated right now.” He said sounding uncomfortable.

You glanced over at John and noted his somber expression, this was obviously a topic he didn’t want to talk about. “Sorry to pry.” You said before sliding him the menu of one of your favorite Chinese restaurants in the area.

“It’s a valid question.” He stated, now intently focused on the menu, “What about you?” He asked, peaking up to glance at you before quickly looking away.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, your love life and what not.” He followed up quickly.

You shifted uncomfortably, “Oh, well my ex just moved out today.”

John arched one of his thick brows, “Hm,” He grunted, “Nice lad?” He questioned.

You shrugged, “Yeah, I suppose. Just boring.” You answered thinking back to the stale and stagnant version of your life that was your reality only a week ago.

John watched you frown in distain before he got up to place your orders, “What did you want again?” He asked.

“The number 23 dinner special with an eggroll.” You had your order memorized.

As John placed the order on his telephone, you listened to the sound of his muffled voice and leaned back on the couch. It was interesting how despite not seeing each other for nearly a decade, you still found your way back to him. One of his cats climbed their way on your lap and purred as you scratched behind its ears.

“She likes you.” John said as he walked back into the room, “Food should be here in 45 minutes.” He said plopping back down. The black cat nuzzled its head into your head and let out a soft meow.

“What’s her name?” You asked enjoying the attention your newfound friend was giving you.

“Salt.” He said, a smile cracking his features.

“Salt?” You asked letting out a small huff of laughter.

“Her sister, Pepper is somewhere around here.” He said reaching over and petting Salt, scratching her behind the ears.

Your 45 minutes with John was spent chatting and catching up, he talked about Mimi and told you that she asked about you often and he never knew how to respond, and you talked to him about how you finished college and began your marketing job.

It was interesting how the two of you were able to smooth over the awkwardness of your conversation in just a few short hours, unlike your previous run ins. The familiar warm feeling you would get every time you’d talk to him quickly returned. When your food arrived the doorman from the front of the building brought it up and the two of you laid out your spread on the coffee table.

John walked over to a shelf of movies and pulled one out. He turned towards you, flashing you the box. It didn’t surprise you when he showed you Clockwork Orange. It was a very John movie, “Want to watch it?” He asked smiling softly.

You nodded your head, “Pop it in.” You said waving your hand towards his television.

The movie played in the background as the two of you continued to talk and eat your takeaway, “How are you doing?” You asked.

“I’m fine, how are you?” He responded a confused expression plastered on his face.

You shook your head, “No, John I really mean it; how are you?” You said giving him a sympathetic expression.

Putting his chopsticks down, John sighed, “I don’t know.” He pursed his lips deep in thought, “I mean I suppose I’ve been better.” He answered honestly, “I mean, my wife left me, my friends I’ve known for the last two decades don’t really want much to do with me.” John shrugged his should and looked away from you.

You nodded your head reaching over and grabbing his hand, rubbing it with your thumb before you patted it lightly and pulled it away. John chased your hand with his own and laced his fingers with yours. The rough underside of his palm brushed against your soft ones. The contrasting touch made you shiver, “I missed you.” He said and squeezed your hand.

John brought your hand to the side of his face and pressed your palm to his cheek, leaning into the warmth of your hand, “I missed you too.” You said as you thumb stroked his cheek bone. He turned his face and kissed your skin.

Your breath hitched in the back of your throat and the feeling of John’s lips burned into your palm. You watched him, his eyes closed and a calm expression taking over his tense body. Slowly you slid closer to him, closing what little space was between the two of you, “John,” You said breaking the soft silence that had settled between the two of you. He hummed and looked up at you urging you to continue, “You know what you told me when we broke up?”

John looked down, you could tell that the topic hurt him as much as it hurt you, “If it’s meant to be, we’ll find each other.” He said softly now looking at your fingers as he played with them.

In this moment he just looked like John, you’re John you had last seen nearly a decade ago. You pulled your fingers away from him and cupped his face, forcing him to look at you. Hesitantly you moved closer to him, feeling the warmth of John’s body radiating off him. Your heart thumped loudly in your ears as your noses touched, lightly brushing against each other.

A soft whimper manifested itself in the back of your throat and trickled out when you felt John press his lips against yours. He pulled your close against his chest and held you against him tightly craving your warmth and body. Your mouths moved with a familiar synchronicity, so familiar it caused your stomach to ache as you frantically clung to John. Your hand managed to fall from his face and tangle itself in his shirt as you tried to pull him closer.

The way your nose bumped against his glasses reminded you of when you were 18 and sneaking into Mimi’s house, giggling as he told you to quiet down while the two of you kissed. You couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

John pulled away and left open mouth kisses on your chin and jaw and finally on your kiss. He immediately went to his favorite spot placing a wet open-mouthed kiss on it. You gasped at the feeling and craned your neck urging him for more.

Which he gladly gave you, pulling more sweet sounds from your mouth. He pulled back and studied your face through hooded eyes. John’s hand came up and he stroked the side of your face with the back of his hand. His touch was light and the back of his hand soft. You let out a sigh and leaned into his touch before looking back at him.

You laid back and pulled John against your chest. He responded by wrapping his arms around you and nuzzling his head into you, “I’m sorry for what’s happened John,” You said and admired the weight of his body against yours.

John rubbed his face into your chest and didn’t look at you, “Stay the night, please.” He pleaded with you.

You rubbed his back as he clung to you, your heart ached hearing the loneliness in his voice, “Of course.” You said and kissed the top of his hair. John hummed with content feeling your fingers tracing patterns against his back.

The following morning you woke up next to John, his arm firmly wrapped around you and hair buried in the back of your neck. You turned around and wrapped your free arm him while your other remained pinned on your side. John let out a soft sigh and pulled you close against his chest and kissed the top of your head. You’d forgotten how much you missed and craved affection. You moved to leave, and John pulled you back, “Don’t leave me,” He said softly.

“I have to use the bathroom.” You said smiling and turning towards John.

He let out a playful groan, “Fine.” He said rolling over and sprawling out on his bed like a starfish.

When you returned John was still in the same position, you’d left him in. As you crawled back into the bed John’s arms slithered around you like a snake and pulled you into his chest. You inhaled deeply, missing his smell and smiled against the thin shirt he wore to bed.

In just a short amount of time the life that had once felt so grey and strange was now beginning to once again feel like home.

[feysandfeels]

Which TS songs remind you of the different couples in SJM’s books???

Boy do I ??

You are a blessed soul for asking me this, and know that I adore you. 

There is now a part II to this.

Feysand:

Begin Again: “I've been spending the last eight months Thinking all love ever does Is break and burn, and end But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again” Baby Feyre finding that love is not toxic, that love is supportive, that love can be wonderful. “You said you never met one girl who had As many James Taylor records as you But I do” but think of is as “he said he never met a girl who wasn’t afraid of his power, but i do”. Also also “Walked in expecting you'd be late But you got here early and you stand and wave I walk to you” because Feyre’s used to T*mlin’s mediocre ass but Rhys surprised her by being a decent human and treating her with respect, which makes her realize that she was starved for respect and that T*mlin was not giving her what every decent human being should get from the get go from their partner.

Ivy: Feyre slowly falling in love with Rhys, thinking about Rhys in the Spring Court between Night Court visits Also throughout ACOMAF how she battles with her ever growing feelings for the Lord of the Night, while feeling guilty about T*mlin, because they *just broke up*: “Oh, goddamn My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand Taking mine, but it's been promised to another Oh, I can't Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered in you” and “I wish to know The fatal flaw that makes you long to be Magnificently cursed He's in the room Your opal eyes are all I wish to see He wants what's only yours”.

End game: I can practically see Rhys singing this in the shower thinking about Feyre, when she decided to work with him and him thinking like “YES THIS HAS TO BE A SIGN”. His reputation precedes him and in rumours he’s knee deep, him and Feyre would be a big conversation, he has enemies, he has heard about her and she has heard about him. He thinks “she’s so dope that he might overdose”. She’s been calling his bluff on all his usual tricks so here’s the truth from his red lips!!!!!

Dress: “Even in my worst times, you could see the best in me Flashback to my mistakes My rebounds, my earthquakes Even in my worst lies, you saw the truth in me And I woke up just in time Now I wake up by your side My one and only, my lifeline”. Need I say more? I think not your honor. 

Call it what you want: “I said you don’t need to save me, but would you run away with me?” That’s Feyre’s whole arc, I rest my case.

Nessian: the happiness I feel about the fact that these two are together is just enough to make me smile on a Monday

False God - The song literally opens up saying “We were crazy to think Crazy to think that this could work Remember how I said I'd die for you” HELLOOOO?? NESTA THINKING ABOUT THAT SCENE IN ACOWAR?? but also feeling that she’s unworthy of Cassian and that there is no way in hell that he will love her with all that she is.

Don’t Blame Me - The power of this song lies in the I unapologetic- powerful-full on I give myself to you and I will do it over and over again energy it has. And this is the energy that Nesta has for Cassian (even when homegirl really tries to pretend otherwise lol boo you tried). The “through your love I found salvation” religious aspect of Don’t blame me is Nesta, because through Cassian’s love and presence she found the perspective she needed on herself. Also this book was a religious experience for me. Jesus fuck.

Sparks Fly: From Cassian to Nesta, with love. First of all Cassian would be a diehard swiftie (all of the bat boys for that matter, merch a the concert, what will we do if we get invited to the rep room?? fans. Az woud be like the quiet yet “no, speak one ill word of Taylor and that’s your end, she did nothing wrong she was framed and I have evidence”). Second of all “The way you move is like a full on rainstorm And I'm a house of cards You're the kind of reckless that should send me running But I kinda know that I won't get far” That’s him alright, that’s him knowing that Nesta is a force to be reckoned with and he wants nothing nothing but to be in that storm and live within the force of nature that she is. Thirdly “My mind forgets to remind me, your a bad idea You touch me once and it's really something You find I'm even better than you, imagined I would be I'm on my guard for the rest of the world But with you I know its no good And I could wait patiently But I really wish you would” 

Elucien: This is an Elucien blog. 

Lover - In all honesty wanted to give this song to Feysand, because they are my main otp and this song is the highest of the high from Taylor, but I can’t deny the fact that this song screams Elucien. “With every guitar string scar on my hand” I think is a beautiful parallel for Elain and gardening, “My heart’s been borrowed, and yours has been blue” this speaks of Gr*yson and Jesminda, “I loved you three summers now but I want them all” that’s Lucien speaking ma’am. “Have I known you 20 seconds or 20 years?”, both of them about the bond. “And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me and at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover” we all know Lucien has a mind for dirty jokes and sass and Elain would always save him the sit next to her because he is the one who truly saw her and, in his distance, was the presence she needed while she figured it all out. Finally, The fact that the song has very clear wedding tones I think fits the headcanon, that more than a mating ceremony, Elucien would have a wedding, because it feels like something Elain would feel more comfortable with. 

Treacherous -“I can't decide if it's a choice Getting swept away I hear the sound of my own voice Asking you to stay”..... mmmmmm is this or isn’t it Elain getting closer to Lucien, but still wondering if it’s the bond or her, yet nonetheless surrendering to the fact that she wants him to stay. “This slope is treacherous This path is reckless This slope is treacherous And I, I, I like it” Elain doesn’t want an easy love, to simple do as the bond suggests she wants something that has twigs and branches and where she needs to question herself and truly ask what she wants out of life and this relationship. Also the softness of the melody juxtaposed with the vulnerability, brings a soft rawness that is Elain. 

King of my heart: Neither of them expected to feel like they could love with all the hope and unapologetic free falling feel characteristic of first loves, yet here we are. They rule their kingdom inside the room because they are discovering their feelings for each other away from prying eyes and people that have expectations on how they should work with the mating bond and all that. “Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury” Again, with the love away from everyone, feeling their world shift around what they are starting to feel for one another. “Is the end of all the endings? My broken bones are mending With all these nights we're spending” did we say healing arc through love and support an “not expecting anything to come off this, but I just want to see you well” à la sjm?? I THINK WE DID.

Emorie: I’m working with crumbs here, delicious crumbs that will make a delicious emorie cake, but crumbs nonetheless.. I need more and I need it now.

I think he knows - My girl Emerie crushing hard hard haaaaaaaaard on Mor.

Cruel Summer - “I don't wanna keep secrets just to keep you And I snuck in through the garden gate Every night that summer just to seal my fate (oh) And I screamed for whatever it's worth "I love you, " ain't that the worst thing you ever heard” this is prime PRIME PRIME ANGST, we will get from these two.  

Gwynriel: this is an edit because I'm not a hoe for these two (yet...trust me once I see Az heal this is the tag where you will find me) and I did not know which songs might fit them and then when I posted it I was like WAIT WAIT I KNOW.

Gold rush - Gwyn talking herself out of her crush on Az after finding out about the whole necklace and being like “I don’t want a gold rush”.

Daylight - Az is a Taylor hoe first, spymaster second. She just makes him feel things. But in all seriousness “Like daylight It's golden like daylight You gotta step into the daylight and let it go Just let it go, let it goI wanna be defined by the things that I love Not the things I hate Not the things that I'm afraid of, I'm afraid of Not the things that haunt me in the middle of the night I, I just think that You are what you love” this is Az healing and being in better place where he can reflect on how he used to relate to love and romantic relationships, he now understands that love is not black and white but golden. He stepped into this notion of love and through it he found a beautiful relationship with Gwyn, he wants to be defined by the love he feels for her and the love he feels for his family, not by the things that haunted him, not by his mistakes, not by his trauma. He is golden, he is daylight, shadows and all he is daylight. 

Az + Elain: As a romantic end game they are not my ship, but I do stand by my pre-acosf position that these two would be really good friends

Out of the woods -  Where we stand after acosf I say that it is not far fetched that they might hook up and then realize that it’s not for them and that experience helps them access a new part of their healing: “They lost each other, but they found themselves”. The anxiety that this song mirrors is the anxiety of them knowing something doesn’t quite *fit* right, that they are both in turbulent times emotionally and this relationship is not giving them the peace they thought it would. They are paper airplanes, because they know that it’s not the right call for where they are in their own journeys if they want to heal properly and that neither will get what they truly want from the other one. The monsters who turned out to be trees, they are in the woods in this relationship, they were built to fall apart.. are all images that speak of the dynamic we could see of them, they try it doesn’t work and then after, when they are in better places mentally they will look back and be like “we dodge a bullet there didn’t we”.

Bonus: His necklace hanging around her neck, the image is clear there and so is the commentary. 

Az + Mor: formerly known as Moriel, the ship that used to reign my heart

Breath - This song is entirely from Az’s perspective once he and Mor talk about, well, everything. This is not how he had planned it, this is not how he wanted this to go, but “people are people and sometimes it doesn’t work out, but it’s killing me to see you go after all this time” referencing letting go of the romantic feelings he had for her. They were a crutch for him and now he has to face life and the things that torment him about it, without the protection and comfort his crush on her offered him. “And we know it's never simple, Never easy Never a clean break, no one here to save me You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,” regardless of what you all want to think, they do love and know each other but shift in their dynamic will mean an adjustment for both of them... it’s not a clean break. “Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve”, also Idc about what you all think, Az never never never wanted to hurt Mor, if he knew his behavior was in someway affecting her he would have done something, and I think from the aftermath of him going after Eris on ACOWAR we can see that... also this might allude to him actually knowing that Mor is a lesbian and he has tried to make sure she feels safe around him and knows that he has her back agains the whole world if need be, regardless of her lack of romantic feelings for him. 

Feyl*n: honestly who knew there would be so many songs that would fit these two. Such bops for a crappy dude like T*mlin.

Exile - “I never learned to read your mind (never learned to read my mind) I couldn't turn things around (you never turned things around) 'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)” He never even tried to learn to read her mind, he never turned things around and she gave so so many signs. The way he looks at Rhys like he’s his understudy, but no sugar he’s the principal actor and you got fired.

Getaway car - and I oop. Because that is essentially what they were both to each other. Feyre needed someone to give her security and financial stability, T*mlin needed someone to break the curse: “It was the best of times the worst of crimes”.

Bad blood - LOOOOOL. They used to be mad love and now they have bad blood.

Tell me why -  Imma just leave a collection of quotes here that well allude to them through the first act of ACOMAF: “I took a chance, I took a shot And you might think I'm bulletproof but I'm not You took a swing, I took it hard And down here from the ground, I see who you are” Feyre seeing T*mlin for the abusive person that he is, from the ground.. where his behavior put her. Also “I'm sick and tired of your reasons I got no one to believe in You tell me that you want me, then push me around And I need you like a heartbeat But you know you got a mean streak Makes me run for cover when you're around Here's to you and your temper Yes, I remember what you said last night And I know that you see what you're doing to me Tell me why” The if he loved me, why did he do it and the “it’s not a question of if he loved you but how” conversation she has with Rhys.

I could go on and on forever placing all T-Swift songs around acotar characters, but I think this is getting longer than we all anticipated.. or did we? we all know I am not ✨concise✨. Anywho, thanks for sticking around.

Besos!!

BOOOONUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSS:

Obviously, Invisible String is for all my mated/soon to be mated boos, and I think Peace is a song that can apply to both Feysand and Nessian from Rhys’ and Nesta’s perspectives respectively.