#my goal was to get all of the adult monster high costumes

[scarah-screeeaaammss]

oh yes bitch I got the draculaura costume too now I have all 3 >:)

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Agitation 3.6 Live Reactions

(This is me, writing reactions as I read, because why the fuck not. They're not complete, mature thoughts taken after I sit back and evaluate what I've read. Consider them as such)

“Think of it as a game,” Lisa said, “A high stakes variant of cops and robbers.”

Ooh this bit. I've seen it referenced a lot in the fandom discussions, but never seen the conversation reproduced or redone in fic (probably because if it happens in the AU, it happens so close to the canon version there's no need to rewrite it or anything)

“I think,” I ventured, “That it’s a little closer to real cops and robbers than the schoolyard game.” “No, no.  Hear me out.  Grown adults running around in costume?  Making up code names for themselves?  It’s ridiculous, and we know it’s ridiculous, even if we don’t admit it out loud.

ehhhhhhh, I mean... she's not wrong exactly, but it's also not ridiculous because real people are really dying. In RL, if someone went around in a costume with codenames trying to fight crime, then yeah, absolutely, that's ridiculous, even if they made actual progress somehow.

But if that same costumed weirdo could fly, or fart fire or w/e, then it's a lot harder to not take seriously.

Maybe we have some agenda or goals, but at the end of the day, we’re getting our thrills, blowing off steam and living a second life. 

yeah, Lisa, no. That's... no.

Then there’s the crazies.  The people who are fucked up in the head, maybe dangerous if there’s not something or someone to help keep them in line.  The people who take it all too seriously, or those guys you wouldn’t want to get on the wrong side of, even if they didn’t have powers.  Lung, Oni Lee, Heartbreaker,” she paused.  “Bitch.”

Way to add this as an afterthought. Also, like most of the Empire 88 (if not all of it) falls into this category too. I get they've barely been mentioned yet, but Kaisar and Co are definitely crazy and taking it too seriously.

Lisa paused, “Right.  But you have to understand, ninety percent of what goes on when you’re in costume?  It’s the first group.  Adults in costumes playing full contact cops and robbers with fun-as-fuck superpowers and toys. 

And people dying, having their property destroyed (and ruining their livelihoods), being crippled or physiologically scarred for life...

Yeah. It's all fun silliness 90% of the time.

(I get that Lisa is selling this to Taylor to convince her that this is all cool, but still, does she actually believe this on some level? I get that her power probably makes her cynical but my god, Tattle-bitch, fuck off)

But what good is having a team if there’s no competition?” “Which is where we come in,” I figured out where she was going. “Exactly.  At the end of the day?  We’re not doing much harm.  Property damage, theft.  A few civilians get hurt if they don’t move out of the way fast enough.

Yeah, totally, that's the only way civilians get hurt.

I mean, if all the villains were as nice and soft as the Undersiders, or at least most of them, sure. I don't think Lisa's wrong to an extent, but the Undersiders are very much the minority, and you guys still have the ability to really fucking hurt people.

Are there readers that actually buy this? I buy Taylor buying this to an extent, given her mindset and so forth, rn, though I doubt she 100% buys it, but equally, it sometimes feels like some of the fans actually buy this mindset.

“Compared to the psychos and the monsters out there, it’s almost in the city’s interests to keep us in circulation.  Far as I see it, we’re not that much better or worse than the so called good guys.  We face more risk at the end of the day, with the possibility of jail time and physical danger, but we get a better payoff.  We just took the path that was higher risk, higher reward.”

You are better than most of the alternatives, sure, but while it's true that the heroes would have a lot lower profile without the villains (and if there were no villains the heroes might not stay heroes what with all that conflict urging or w/e of the Shards) but as far as Lisa knows, the heroes could just... you know, use their powers constructively if there weren't villains eating up their time.

So yeah, no.

“I’m not sure,” I said, carefully, “That I buy all that.”

Smart girl

“No? Then why don’t they send people like Über straight to the Birdcage after his trial, like they are with Lung?

That is a stupid question, Lisa. The Birdcage isn't just a catch all for every supervillain. It's a nightmare blackbox you shove the worst (or the alleged worst, anyway) into. It's a "Break Glass In Case of Scion" Box. It's certainly not a place you shove Uber and Leet into unless they cross lines. We don't put people into maximum security prisons just for assault and theft, usually (Which, AFAIK, is all Uber and Leet have done largely - AFAIK, they haven't killed anyone)

Sure, there’s the three strike rule, and he’ll get sent to the Birdcage eventually, but the people in charge have to maintain some plausible deniability.”

Because the US government totally wants villains running around this much for the... merchandising money? Like, there's not trusting the police, the government, etc, and there's... this.

Again, I suspect Lisa doesn't quite believe this, but still.

“But the real evidence to my ‘cops and robbers’ theory,” Lisa continued, “Is the reaction you see when someone crosses the line.  You’ve heard about it happening.  Someone finds out another cape’s secret identity, goes after the cape’s family.  Or a cape wins a fight and decides his downed opponent isn’t in a state to say no if he’s feeling lusty?  Word gets around, and the cape community goes after the fucker.  Protecting the status quo, keeping the game afloat.  Bitter enemies call a truce, everyone bands together, favors get called in and everyone does their damndest to put the asshole down.”

Or, you know, it could be that some people have standards? I mean, I get what you're saying, about protecting the game, the unwritten rules, etc, but equally, like... no? Yeah, when someone crosses a line everyone goes after them because that's like... the whole point of lines.

“Like we do with the Endbringers,” I said.  I sheathed my knife. “Holy fuck,” Lisa said, slapping the sides of the steering wheel with her hands.  I think if the van had been moving, she would have hit the brakes for emphasis.  Traffic was starting to move, though, so she started up the car and put it into gear, “Twice, you bring up the Endbringers in as many minutes.  You’re being morbid.  What’s going on?”

Because they're the giant fucking elephants in the room for the setting.

It was hard to talk to Lisa, as much as I liked her as a person. 

You barely know her, christ Taylor, I know you're affection starved and shit but man you dove headfirst into this.

  If I said something, would that give her the puzzle piece she needed to figure me out?

heheheheh, too late.

I was counting on this ruse continuing, whether it was because I enjoyed the temporary companionship of Brian, Lisa and Alec, or because I wanted to get Grue, Tattletale, Regent and Bitch carted off to jail and prove Armsmaster wrong.  I was aware how paradoxical those two interests were.

Sooner or later, something will have to give.

She went on, “See, I know you.  Believe it or not, I like you.  Did from the time I saw you on that roof, opposite Lung.  You know how we fear the unknown?  Well, I know stuff, that’s my whole thing, and that motherfucker is one of the very few people who can spook me.  You, Taylor, stood up to him.”

Taylor "Nah, I'd Win" Hebert

(Does she actually say that in the story, or is that just a fan thing?)

“So this guy or this girl that’s got you down in the dumps?  I say fuck them.  They don’t know you.  They don’t know what you’re capable of.”

This is true. How much does Lisa know about this? God, Lisa's power is gonna suck to work with come fic writing time, balancing what she knows and what she doesn't.

“Who uses words like doldrums, anymore?” 

Fair point :rofl:

“In twenty minutes or so, we’re going to be leaving there, tens of thousands of dollars richer, the adrenaline rush of victory pumping through our veins,” Lisa’s voice was barely above a whisper, “Now tell me.  Can you visualize that?”

"What this country needs is a short, victorious war to stem the tide of revolution."

-Vyacheslav von Plehve, Russia’s Minister of the Interior, before starting the Russo-Japanese War of 1904-1905

(I'm not sure if this quote is apocryphal or not, I first stumbled upon it as an epigrah in a sci-fi novel, but it makes the point)

“Liar,” she said.  Then she winked at me, “It’s okay.  An hour from now, you’ll be rolling in money and laughing about how pessimistic you were.  Promise.”

Nice to know Tattletale can be so hilariously wrong.

As I opened the car door and hopped out into the pouring rain, I managed to say the words without choking on them, “Let’s go rob a bank.”

Crime Machine Go BRRR!

[raccoonwarlock]

Are there any horror anime that you enjoy watching around Halloween?

Full stop I'm fucking behind on a lot of stuff but I can safely say no there is not! Not because there is a shortage of horror anime (most of which I haven't seen yet), but because Halloween. Isn't really a thing in Japan?

Halloween in general wasn't seen as a thing until Disney opened Tokyo Disneyland & held a typical Halloween celebration in the early 2000s. Nowadays it's mostly celebrated by younger adults wanting to cosplay & drink. (There is no trick-or-treating & that makes me sad)

In terms of horror anime you can watch just in general (based soley on what I've seen):

Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun: "After a wish gone wrong, middle-schooler Nene Yashiro is bound to & must work for the ghost haunting the school bathroom, helping him stop other ghosts from harming students." The tone of this show is mostly lighthearted slice-of-life but has some intense moments, especially surrounding the main antagonist Tsukasa. It only has one season & is good if you want some light scares.

Demon Slayer: "Vowing to return his sister Nezuko's humanity following a demon attack that claimed his family, Tanjiro Kamado joins a nationwide force that fights to destroy all demons." Yes, this is an extremely popular show, with good reason. However, it is considered a horror series & I don't entirely agree with that as it's more action-heavy than scare-heavy (I read the entire manga in 2 days after seeing the movie). If you like a lot of action & tragedy in your horror, then this is a show for you.

The Promised Neverland season 1 (with spoilers): "A group of well-educated orphans plan to escape from their orphanage when they realize they are being sold off as livestock for monsters." This show is intense. The mistrust & paranoia layering the story's foundation are what drive the suspense as a group of kids have to not get murdered by the woman who raised them, Isabella, & the payoff is very good... in the first season. Despite the manga finishing before the second season began airing, the second season ignores that by cutting half of the total story, making up a new plot, & butchering the original ending. My other main criticism is the character of Sister Krone. Sister Krone is a muscular black woman called in to help Isabella keep the children under control. She does fall into the racist trope of "aggressive black woman", but has some depth to her character ie. wanting Isabella's place as a caretaker & scheming with the kids to achieve that goal. & then gets killed off soon after her arrival. Her character is a mess & she deserves better.

Death Note: "When a spirit of death gets bored in the afterlife, he decides to visit the world of the living. Watch what happens as he gives the power over death itself to the self-righteous teen son of a cop." Yes everyone likes to meme on this one & the questionable English dub/fanmade subtitles. & its dramatic concept. Despite that, it's still a damn good psychological thriller of a holier-than-thou teenager going mad with power. Granted I'm basing all of this on the manga that I read about halfway through while awaiting Covid test results.

High-rise Invasion: "Teen girl Yuri Honjo awakens to a world of skyscrapers & suspension bridges, with no safe path to reach the ground. Making allies along the way, she must face costumed killers & greedy survivors if she hopes to reach her older brother in this new landscape." I need to finish the last 3 episodes but this one is interesting to me personally with its expressions of autonomy & morality (the former admittedly not being the main focus). The manga is more explicit about it, but main character Yuri & the secondary lead Mayuko Nise do express romantic interest in each other. So not gay princesses, but we're getting there!

[dgennk]

Undertale: Saving Dreemurrs - Halloween

NOTICE: [I just wanted to write something and post it, to get back into writing. I’m working on an AU for Undertale, cause that’s captured my heart since January, and I just wanted to get my toe wet on something silly. Why Halloween? Cause I had some white Reese’s when I was thinking this up. Maybe I’ll rewrite it for Halloween this year? Anyway, thank you for reading, any constructive criticism would be helpful.]  Friday October 31st, Halloween. 

Within the Underground, this date held no special worth, just another day to live for the next. On the surface however, this date marked a special occasion. As the sun would set, children and adults alike would leave their homes, adorned in costumes for one goal. 

Sugar rush inducing, cavity spawning, sweet candy. 

Sour, bitter, tooth-rotting sweet. Candies and confections were prepared and bought for costumed humans of the night.

Today this tradition held strong, especially with the inclusion of monsters that once called the Underground their home.

This could be merrily seen within the Dreemurr abode, as its children returned from hours of trick-or-treating. Four children scrambled into HOME with pillow cases filled to bursting with sugary delights.

“Your outerwear, children!” their trailing guardian, Toriel, reminds as she shuts the door behind her. 

“Yes mom!” “Got it!” and “Yes, Ms. Toriel!” choired the children, closely followed with the shuffle of clothing. Scarves and jackets, tossed at the basket beside the second entryway, the act hardly slowed their rush.

With a skip into the foyer, Frisk kicks off his final boot and breaks for the right hall. “Last in trades free!”

“Huh?” Asriel gasps while MK lets out an indignant ‘Dood!’ Only for them to be left behind by the other human child.

Chara cackles, their foam forked tail wiping as they turned the corner.

The two boys scramble to give chase, neither willing to part with their treasured trove.

Toriel hummed as she hung her snaily shawl a step from the door. A light thud had her eyes flutter but the bleat that proceeded drew a knowing smile. “Perhaps,” she muses, “I should unveil it a tad earlier.” Her smile grew. 

“That wasn’t fair,” mumbled Asriel, sitting at the center circle mat, sack of candy buried in his lap. He rubbed his snout, slightly bruised from his fumble.

“Come on dude, don’t be sore,” Mk laughed beside him, his candy sack untied from his chest.  “Your mom’s dress was just too long!”

“I needed it for my costume!” proclaimed the prince fervently. He threw his arms around his bag and dug his face deep. It worked in tandem with his wide-brim green hat to obscure his downcast look. “And, it’s a robe, not a dress.” 

“But like,” MK began, a brow risen with a perplexed twist of the snout. “Could have made it shorter.”

“That,” chimed Chara with a playful smile, reclined on the far right bed. “Wouldn’t be authentic.”

A groan escaped the hidden boss monster. “Chara, please stop teasing.”

The jester’s smile grew. “Okay, Az.” Bells jingled with their chuckle. 

Frisk tapped his painted chin in thought, face turned up for the starry-blue ceiling. He hummed and nodded then headed for the down prince. “I change my mind,” he leans down, while reaching a blue hand into his right pocket.

“Hm? Frisk?” The prince peered up.

“Here,” The child placed a treat on Asriel’s bag. A blackish ball, about the size of a doughnut hole, with ovid sprinkles topped on its shell. It was inside a clear twist wrapper, no labels to be seen.

“Where did we get those?” Chara mumbled aloud, with a lean to peer over.

A small smile came over Asriel’s mostly shaded visage as he accepted the gift. “Thanks Frisk.” He opened the wrapping, it was hard and didn’t smell much like anything. He still appreciated it all the same. He slipped it between his teeth and took a small crunch to it.

His reaction was a bit of a surprise to the others watching. 

Chara paused to stare, wide-eyed. Their brother had taken to the candy well. No, that was an understatement. The boss monster moaned in delight, holding his cheeks as whatever piece of confectionery in his mouth seemed to overload his senses. She couldn’t help but twist her head at Frisk, only to stare, numb from his expression. His eyes gleamed scarlet in the shadow of his hair, a telling smile etched onto his face. “... Frisk?”

“Azz, dood,” MK calls, “WHAT is that?”

The boss monster only groaned before turning his head with a bob. “Oh,” he muttered lightly, his voice muffled somewhat. “It's greht, like moh’s pie, but,” he pauses to savor the taste on his tongue. “It's tahfy!”

“Eh?”

“Hey Asriel!” the rubber-clad Dreemurr smiled wider. “You can have more if you want!!” 

“Critical hit!” Chara grunted.

“You ghot more?!” Asriel bursts to his feet, his own candy forgotten to the floor. 

Hook. The thin smile on Frisk’s face had blossomed into a face-splitting grin. “Yeah, a dozen if you wanna trade!”

“Oh,” pauses Asriel, “Righht! Uhm… Do you have sohmethhing in mihnd?”

Line! “Well…” he draws it out before clicking his teeth. “How many of those big Reese's do you have?!”

DEVIL! Chara screams internally.

“Oh, those,” Asriel smiles brightly. “Papyrus and Undyne were giving out the really big stuff, they gave me 5. I think they were… jumbo?” he trailed, unsure and flustered. He hadn’t really read the packages at the time. He perked quick though, beaming. “You can have them! If you want?”

“Yes! Yeah!!” Frisk chirps while pulling a white bag from his candy sack. With palpable eagerness he presents it forward to the prince, only for both to stumble. A blur swooped between and snatched it, leaving the two at a loss!

Chara’s glower twinkled, standing high on the bed parallel to the other. “You sneak!” she accuses. “No one gave us these on our route! Where did you get them?”

Frisk’s brows pulled down with his angry expression. “You can’t take my trade candy! Give it back!”

“You had these since the start, didn’t you!?” Chara ignored Frisk’s demand and instead placed the bag behind their back, their other hand pointed at the miffed blue munchkin.

“N-No I didn’t!” protested Frisk.

“You’re a bad liar!” She giggled angrily in retort.

“Come on guys!” MK yawned at them. “Let’s just start eating candy already!”

Frisk whips his hand out to point at Chara, squinted eyes burning red hot, “Not until Chara lets me get my Jumbo Recess!”

“Your Jumbo Recess?!” Chara repeated with a haughty laugh. “You knew I was going to trade for them! I always trade with Asriel!”

Now the youngest Dreemur pulls back, arms crossed over their chestplate. “I didn’t forget! I got something for you too!” he ends in a huff.

“Wait, what?” blinked Chara.

“I was gonna trade for your Rice Krispie Treats with this!” he finds and reaches into his candy-sack. After a shuffle he takes a deeper reach inside and withdraws an oval shaped treat, just a few inches shorter than his face, covered in a clear wrinkled wrapping.

Chara was speechless, arms falling slack.

“Where did you get that giant egg! Is that chocolate?!” Mk was right by it, looking over the super-sized egg thing.

“I got it from the store,” Frisk started with a matter-of-fact tone. “It was pretty hollow but mom helped me put cream inside, so it’s like those egg things you get from dad.”

“Cadbury... Eggs.” Chara slowly corrects. Realization struck her brain. Frisk and mom had made this for them. 

Her heart swelled in the chest, rosy cheeks now venetian despite the grey paint. “Hey…” She couldn’t look Frisk in the eyes. “Sorry.”

“Trade this for your Rice Krispies and we good!” the boy gave a thumbs up.

“Sheesh,” Chara smiled, and reached for the bag she dropped. “I get it, I get it.” She didn’t meet a paper bag, instead her hands landed upon something fuzzy. She blinked and looked down.

Asriel was draped over his bed. Where the bag once was, his head was now. His green hat now on the floor, forgotten. He was chewing groggily, half-lidded eyes gazing at nothing in particular while a large mass of stringy, sticky taffy laid within his maw. Wrappers with nothing inside laid all over the bed. The bag was on the floor now, torn open.  

Frisk grinned.

MK laughed.

Chara groans.

“...Uh?” Asriel tried to speak, however, the tough candy made it embarrassingly difficult.

“Hey dude!” Mk, popped in front of Frisk excitingly. “You got something big you can trade me?!”

“Fufufu!” The child laughs in the manner of a hero. He turned to Chara and handed them the monster of a creme egg. Then, he turned around and walked to his sack, shrouding it from prying eyes.

MK waited with a held breath as the human slowly rose, his arms held before him but close to hide what laid in his hands. 

“Are you ready for this?” Frisk asked anonymously. He didn’t need to look back, he could feel the intensity of MK’s nods. He could hear the whisper of their draft. “Then get ready…

For the dragon!!”

“YOOOOOO!” Frisk had unveiled a stupidly thick gummy in the crude shape of a dragon head, about the size of, again, Frisk’s face.

“Where did you get these?” Chara balked.

Frisk closed eyes glinted and presented the gummy head with one hand and pointed at the star-struck monster. “For your ring pops, I’ll give you this! Deal?”

MK had like 8 of those. 

“Deal!”

With the transaction concluded, Frisk happily handed the massive wyrm head to the monster who lifted it with his maw alone.

“Fris-” Before Chara could repeat her question, a knock came at the door, drawing all the children’s attention.

A laugh came as the door knob was turned. “I’m sorry to interrupt in on the fun-oh!” Toriel paused, seeing the state of the four. “I can see you’ve already begun trading. Well, I have to ask you to finish your candy for the time being.”

“Uh?” MK whines, gummy the size of a fist in his mouth. “Ow cooh?”

She couldn’t help her excitement. “Well, It was for the party later this evening, but I had so many ingredients I made a second chocolate pumpkin and snail pie!” she clapped. “I thought we could share that between ourselves before the rest arrive.” 

The looks on Chara and Asriel’s faces would always confuse Frisk. Pumpkin and chocolate sounded good but they had a feeling there would be more snail out of the three.

“Hael?” MK questioned. 

Asriel was first on his feet this time, a blur of rainbow met everyone in the room as he dashed out first.

“H-Hey! Wait Asriel!” Chara leapt after them. And MK soon followed after, though with far less enthusiasm than before. This left Toriel and Frisk.

The Boss Monster could only be amused by her child’s expression. She reaches out her hand. “Do not worry,” she gave a wink. “I had made a slice with no snails for yourself.”

And with that Frisk beams, racing for their mother and gripping her hand tight. They were all-but dragging her out now, a toothy smile on their face.

Toriel laughed, “my, my.” And closed the door behind them, to go enjoy a treat with her children.

[terraforged]

Tfw you make the mistake of talking about gay af Hallow’s End stuff with @/holyforged and then you gotta write it :^(

Fair warning this is, uh, long. Also pretty gay and self gratuitous yikes I’m sorry.

---

Soft thud of wings near soundless as he carried them through Exodar, an endeavour he found frivolous when the walk was not truly a long one-- admittedly it was perhaps a confusing one, the twisting passages of the Exodar a baffling thing even though he had ventured here on occasion. Anduin, however, had asked so very sweetly with a flutter of eyes Wrathion knows to be deliberate yet had fallen for anyway. His king’s amusement to that fact was not lost on Wrathion either, though he would be more inclined to say his reasonings were elsewise.

Autumn was well on its way to claiming the land, a fact even bastion of molten earth was aware of as chilly caress bit at thick scales as metal and crystal finally gave way to inky dark above. With autumn came cold, the bone aching sort which crept in and made its nest quietly, painfully, in places of old hurts. The High King hid it well. Wrathion does not think another mortal might even notice barring the worst of days where stiffness rages through Anduin terribly, but Wrathion is not mortal, is instead top of all food chains within these lands. Any predator knows weakness where they find it; can see the lameness of a sickly deer, the way weight is not carried properly even as they try to hide it.

Anduin was no deer of course, is no meek prey, but Wrathion sees none the less and so he had agreed and allowed elder upon his back. Bore still unfamiliar weight onto himself as gloved hands slide against onyx neck, a wandering caress Wrathion thinks nothing of until he feels tap for his attention.

“There,” Anduin says, voice whipped away from him by winds but heard nonetheless as crimson eyes find illuminated settlement in questions, wings folding into a graceful dip until taloned feet met earth once more with ripple of muscle a ways from the settlement.

Wordlessly he felt Anduin shift upon him as if to dismount, a goal quickly dashed as Wrathion eased into long strides which closed meager distance between they and Azure Watch. It earns him a laugh, one that has wings shuffling where they rest tucked against him.

“Are you looking to replace Reverence?” Words come with light amusement, breath curling in puff of condensation like smoke before the king’s face. A sham of an illusion, but a charming one Wrathion thinks regardless as Anduin prattles on with his nonsense. “He enjoys our morning rides when I have the time! He’ll be really quite upset if you try and take that from him, and he’s already not entirely fond of you~”

For all draconian features did not easily wear emotions flatness still prevailed on his features. “Your human stories that talk of dragons whisking away princesses. They’re very inaccurate. You humans talk far too much to be worth kidnapping.” 

“Are you calling me a princess? Really? Now, that is rich from you. My, what was it you were complaining about just this morning? Other than everything, obviously, as you seem to have a never ending list of complaints--” It was a tangent cut short by deliberate bounce of step, jarring a soft ‘oof’ from Anduin before the fires of Azure Watch cast them in their glow.

On most days there would be shrieks of upset at a black dragon making an appearance, weapons raised in fear, in contempt. Usually Wrathion would scarcely dare allow himself to be caught by so many mortals in true form, and yet tonight such was apparently… acceptable. Hallow’s End was, in his opinion, a rather baffling affair. One that could turn fear into a childish awe as they perhaps simply did not deem him real, did not think it was anything other than a clever illusion. It was a farce, he thought, but as he looked about at garishly costumed children fleeting about with unabashed glee he didn't suppose it mattered. If happiness could still be found even in the midst of such a pointless war then who was he to begrudge it?

Soft gasps rang out as children pointed to Anduin, High King an unexpected sight for seldom did he have time to leave Stormwind say for battle these days, a fact Wrathion thought must weigh heavy upon that soft heart of his. That they were here now, seemingly without cause, without dire urgency spurring Anduin into action, was evidently fascinating to young draenei and visiting humans alike. Even adults murmured as Wrathion finally drew to a stop beside roaring fire, front end dipping until chest hit ground and rear followed, limbs tucking beneath himself much like an overgrown feline which had taken to soaking up warmth.

Feeling tell tale shifting once more Wrathion cranes head around, lifting wing for elder to brace hand upon and steady self as he slid down shoulder to ground. “You’re causing quite the stir! Though, I suppose that should hardly be considered a shock, hm? With how rarely your guard dog lets you--”

“Wrathion,” comes an exasperated sigh from Anduin, cutting Wrathion off from an old argument they have had on several occasions. They would have it on many more if Wrathion were to get his way, though it seemed Anduin was ill inclined to allow today to be such an occasion as he swatted at Wrathion’s snouth earning indignant huff of coiling smoke.

“Very well.” Concession came from the drake as he shifted once more, scaled body heaving to free a foreleg from beneath himself, talons curling into soft dirt as Anduin pulled a well worn leather pack from his back. 

Bold children wander toward king, curiosity dancing in their young eyes as they whisper conspiratorially to one another, emboldened by the soft smile which graced Anduin’s face. The heat of raging fire at Wrathion’s opposing side was, suddenly, almost chilly against the radiant warmth of such an expression, chest constricting sharply, painfully, as Wrathion deftly ignored such a notion as Anduin sat upon extended leg and tucked himself into comfortable crook between neck, shoulder, and once more folded wing.

“You all look very fierce! I do wonder what I might have to appease such scary monsters.” Children drew closer as Anduin dug fingers into pack, withdrawing with a handful of colourful candies which drew delighted squeals of excitement from the gathered children; even a few adults, the elder draenei especially, seemed somehow equal parts amused and baffled by the odd turn of events. The affair earnt yet another gossamer laugh from Anduin, offering the sweets to all-- regardless of age-- who came.

Wrathion had little interest in such things, less so even as Anduin began to regale a story Wrathion thinks he might have heard thrice this week already within Stormwind itself, but one the king tells with just as much enthusiasm as he had every time before. Soon children and adults alike are seated before him, enthralled by the tale Anduin offers to them as yet more confectionary is handed out liberally as Anduin’s voice became a soft drone to Wrathion, a gently lulling thing of sounds more than words.

It was a revere eventually broken by the sound of shuffling, a nervous little cough that finally drew Wrathion’s attention from Anduin and crowd alike to find a young draenei girl dressed as what seemed to be a shaggy owlbear, though one free of mask as she clutched it in little hands to gaze up. A look he met, lazy blinks as third eyelid swept across glowing ruby and gold, her own stare never faltering. 

“People tell lots of scary stories on these cold nights,” she says, shuffling closer ever so in a display that had him arching head back and away in equal measure to recoil ever so and hold her in his gaze. “They tell bad ones about black dragons, sometimes. You don’t seem scary though, not if King Anduin likes you.”

It is a statement that earns a throaty laugh, one that covers the sickly feeling child’s words inspire. “Well, of course I am not trying to be scary! But if I were to then you would certainly be terrified.”

Words seemed to give her pause for beat, eyes dipping as fingers shifted on her mask. The draenei were a terribly thoughtful race Wrathion pondered, philosophical and not as prone to the harsh judgments of other races. Even so, he does not quite expect what she says next.

“You have pretty horns. I’ve never seen a dragon before, though there are many stories written about them.” And he can hear it, that childish curiosity barely hidden at all with a wonder in her eyes he does not think he has ever been confronted with before. It is not the fear he is used to, the distrust that is brandished at him day in, day out. Perhaps that is why he barely reacts as she continues on with a soft, daring; “I thought dragons would be bigger.”

On another day, to another person, such bold insult might have earnt ire from him, but today he merely eyes her silently for a moment before finally, finally dipping head once more until tip of snout is nosing gently into her soft hair, brushing her own little nubs of horns. “Much like yours mine are still growing, but in several years more perhaps we should meet once more so that you might show me how much more magnificent your own become.”

Shallow huff ruffled her hair as she giggled, reaching to touch at scales before he took to nudging her toward rest of crowd. “But for now enjoy the stories. His are far better than tales about dragons, though I’d be very glad if you were to keep that between us. We wouldn’t want our king to get an oversized head from an abundance of compliments, hm? Our secret.” One that was no secret at all really, spoken both too publically and far too loudly to be as much, a fact proven by the amused titters that sound as she joins the other children as one story closes and another begins.

Such sagas span on throughout the rest of the eve as Wrathion settled head upon ground, content to doze as Anduin talked on, drawing to a close only when sweets are exhausted and children begin sagging as sleep sought to claim them, adults retrieving them one by one to tuck them into warm beds for the night. 

Then, and only then, did Anduin dare brush fingers against neck once more to rouse his companion, drawing a clicking huff as breath caught in great chest before Wrathion turned to greet him with a yawn full of vicious teeth.

“Charming,” was Anduin’s amused retort. “Though between the two of us I don’t think my ego is the one we should be worried about, Wrathion.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my dear king! My ego is perfectly suited to my capabilities.” A terrible unkingly snort was his only reply, Wrathion meeting it with a lazy puff of smoke in his face before Anduin reached, curling fingers against scaled cheek as ever tumultuous blue eyes sought out draconian red.

The expression he wears is not one Wrathion thinks he has seen before, not entirely. Those vivid eyes were filled with something he does not recognise; thoughtful as fingers scratched idly against him, brows furrowed ever so though not quite in consternance. There is an ever present warmth to it of course, kindly as ever as corners of mouth cling yet to a smile that has not left Anduin’s face since their arrival. Anduin is considering, but entirely what Wrathion cannot say. It is a frustrating position to he who prided himself on the knowledge he could hoard, though thankfully he was saved the embarrassment of attempting to needle it from Anduin by an armour clad vindicar. 

“Your majesty,” the hulking figure began, respectful dip offered before continuing on. “We have prepared drinks and food at the Exodar in your honour. The Prophet Velen has requested your presences.”

It sounded terribly tedious to Wrathion, though if nothing else it would be a learning experience, one he likely could not avoid as Anduin moved to stand as Wrathion followed suit.

“Of course, we’d be glad to. Please, tell him we shall attend imminently.” Dipping his head the draenei returned the gesture, turning back toward Exodar and making to send word. It is then they are cast into a brief reprieve as others about them attend their business, adults gathering with children now gone to begin what Wrathion assumed to be their own merriment.

Forelimbs extended as chest dipped once more as Wrathion stretched, wings shuffling before he righted self with a shake of his head and click of jaws. “Please, tell him we shall attend imminently.” Came his childish imitation, one that earnt him a firm shove to his shoulder and sudden bright laugh that cut through the darkness.

“Oh, shut up.”

[runicmagitek]

Yet Another Belated Writing Progress

I'm just on a roll with not posting these on time. I blame my health and spending my downtime on shit that makes me happy (mostly playing a lot of Monster Hunter World with my boyfriend, because it was finally on a good enough sale for us to get two copies and play on our PCs together), but anywho, here we are.

February's just been a weird, awful month in general, let alone for writing. Work's been overly stressful, my health has been bleh, and things just aren't lining up how I'd want them to. I'm still on track for GYWO, but it's frustrating to make a goal for February and watch myself be behind since the second day. I've had spurts of good days, but now I need to write 2.1k until the end of February if I want to make my monthly goal... and I'm not sure if that's going to happen. And I have a bunch of appointments this week on top of hopefully getting around to some adulting bullshit with my boyfriend that we've been putting off due to health, then the holidays, then health again, and then sheer exhaustion and stress (this involves setting up a new bed and switching our office and bedroom respectively). So yeah. Fuck all of this. Whatever.

I forgot to mention several weeks ago, but one highlight of my life was finding out my friends and I weren't going to go to Costume Con in March. I was super excited about going, but I haven't even thought about cosplay since November. I'm kind of burned out in that regard. Not to mention my medical bills make the thought of spending money on anything frivolous breakdown inducing. One of my friends reached out to me one day (which is hilarious, because I was planning on doing the same thing with her that week) to ask if I still wanted to go, because she wasn't feeling it due to her health. And I was like SAME. So that's a relief. Don't have to worry about last minute, half-assed cosplay.

But you know what that also means? I have like an entire week off in anticipation for that con that I'm no longer going to and I plan on enjoying the fuck out of that me time to relax and get some writing done I am so excited. Granted, that's not until late March and I still have PAX East to go to (both cons were back-to-back weekends, hence all the time off I requested a literally year ago), but it's still something to look forward to.

In actual writing news, my Chocolate Box fics went over well! I wrote... a lot of gen fic somehow lol I'm so happy the recipients enjoyed them - I always love writing them! I still have two treats that I haven't posted yet due to how long they've become why am I like this. I'm saving them for March for posting, if not even April. Not sure. We'll see how that goes.

...shit, I still need to crosspost my published Chocolate Box fics to FFN and tumblr... siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh....

I also had some random, smutty oneshot ideas pop into my head over the weekend. You know, right when Femslash February is almost over. Go me.

In preparation for the new month, I'm hoping my slate will be clean so I can jump back into my Pharmercy high school AU. I miss it so much. It was great to have a break, but I'm itching to lose myself to some massive project. I like to think it will be good for me. We'll see!

[shirlleycoyle]

These Are the People Making Porn Out of Your Favorite Childhood Memories

This article appears in VICE Magazine's Stupid Issue, which is dedicated to the entertaining, goofy, and just plain dumb. It features stories celebrating ridiculous ideas, trends, and products; pieces arguing that unabashed stupidity can be a great part of life; and articles calling out the bad side of stupidity. Click HERE to subscribe to the print edition.

Missy Martinez is painted hot pink in places it doesn’t seem possible to get paint: edged up to almost the inside of her vulva, across her anus, and certainly everywhere that her scene partner Brenna Sparks has put her face so far. Right now, Martinez’s anime costume, which includes a soft mound the size of a large squash glued to the top of her head, is getting between her and Sparks’ clitoris. Her six-inch foam headpiece is slipping. But she perseveres.

Martinez is retired from porn now. She set aside her 10-year career in May 2019, one year after her debut as Vagin Buu, the pornified version of Dragon Ball Z’s Majin Buu.

“You can only do the sexy stepmom or babysitter—these contrived roles that are cookie-cutter—so much,” she said. “To not take porn so literally and seriously… Sex is supposed to be fun. If you’re not laughing while you’re having sex you’re doing it wrong.”

It looked like something someone might only do on a lost bet, but ultimately, Martinez asked for this. In fact, when Lee Roy Myers, the cofounder of the porn production studio WoodRocket, asked her to star in one of his freak-show-esque parodies, she leapt at the chance.

As a die-hard DBZ fan, she considered this a dream role, pink paint and all.

“When they were airbrushing my genitals, I was like, ‘Ohhh, no…,’” she said.

Martinez is not alone; everyone I spoke to who’s been subjected to a WoodRocket costume treatment or roped into Myers’ madness said they have that moment she described—the point of no return.

There’s a controversial theory among historians that parody porn brought about the French Revolution. Robert Darnton’s “pornographic interpretation” of the events of late 18th century France suggests that smutty literature depicting the monarchy in pornographic cartoons—as just as base and sex-crazed as the subjects they thumbed their noses at—emboldened the people to revolt.

“Sex is democratic,” the sex historian (and VICE contributor) Hallie Lieberman told me. “There’s a reason why we have the saying the emperor has no clothes: It reduces him to the same status as everyone else.”

But porn-as-parody goes back hundreds of years before the 18th century. An anonymous author in 16th century Italy published Ficheide, an erotic parody of Homer’s Illiad. Another erotic text of the Italian Renaissance, La Cazzaria, featured disembodied genitals satirizing political figures, and its relative virality (or as viral as something could be in the 1500s) sent its author, Antonio Vignali, running into exile. The 1748 novel Fanny Hill, regarded as the first example of English-prose pornography, is political parody. The Pearl, a monthly pornographic magazine published in London in the late 1800s, featured parodies and was itself a parody of a family magazine. The British authorities shut the magazine down after two years, citing obscenity laws.

In the early 20th century, small porno pamphlets called “Tijuana Bibles,” which peaked in popularity during the Great Depression, contained raunchy parodies of pop culture icons like Popeye, Superman, Lois Lane, and Wonder Woman getting into all sorts of hijinks. Fast-forward to the 90s and early 2000s, and everything in the porn world exploded with the advent of the VHS tape (and porn viewing from the comfort of one’s home), including parody films like Forrest Hump and Everybody Does Raymond.

“Class and sexuality are closely associated in our society, so things we deem respectable inherently have some kind of discretion when it comes to sex,” said Laura Helen Marks, a porn scholar and professor of English at Tulane University. “It can feel exciting and fun to watch the ‘low’ genre of pornography expose the perversions and hypocrisies of mainstream media… It feels like a momentary and satisfying leveling.”

Today, we have WoodRocket. The Vegas-based studio has made a name for itself in the last eight years in part by being pseudonymous with parody porn. If you hear about a new video featuring SpongeBob SquarePants or life-size Lego figurines fucking, you can bet it’s WoodRocket’s doing.

People have been using parody, satire, and sexuality to punch up at the systems and institutions that surround them for hundreds of years. Today, things are no different. Only now, we’re punching backward, at our own nostalgia.

In the late 90s, Myers was working in a video store. He’s worked a lot of jobs since then, from camera equipment guy to executive for a pay-per-view company. But he points back to that place and time in the video store as the earliest inspiration for his current work.

“I was in the store, and I was watching Edward Penishands, and he has these horrifying giant dildo arms, and it’s so ridiculous… It’s so gross, and weird, and funny, and I don’t know what parts were supposed to be intentionally funny or not,” Myers said of the film, directed by Paul Norman. “But it always stuck in my mind like, Oh, if I could do this, that would be amazing.”

For years, Myers worked roles he can only describe as “a job.” He’s never felt suited for the nine-to-five grind. But during programming and production gigs, he was making a lot of friends and connections in the adult industry. One of them was Scott Taylor, founder of a porn studio called New Sensations, who in 2008 was looking to take the studio in a comedic direction—and tasked Myers with making an erotic parody of the same nine-to-five grind he felt trapped in. Myers came up with The Office: An XXX Parody, the first of eight pop-culture television parodies he’d churn out for New Sensations that year.

“Fuck yeah, man, that sounds fucking ludicrous”

Things snowballed from there. By 2012, Myers had a front-row seat to the adult industry’s seismic shift from VHS tapes to DVDs and then to something else entirely. The internet was changing everything, and suddenly fewer and fewer people were willing to shell out money for smut. They could get it for free, on any number of tube sites filled with stolen clips and full films.

Instead of fighting against this unstoppable sea change, Myers and his industry partners started thinking of new ways to ride the wave of free internet content while still making enough profit to keep paying for cast, crew, and the lights. After years of hustling out dozens of porn parodies for other studios, Myers founded WoodRocket in 2012, with the goal of bringing comedic, silly porno to the mainstream—for free.

Myers is Canadian, and defines his directing style as “scary public access television,” with shows like The Hilarious House of Frightenstein influencing his low-budget, single-room sets and makeup that looks like it’s been applied by an overly enthusiastic high school theater student. WoodRocket launched its first film, SpongeKnob SquareNuts, in January 2013, with a press release complete with a “safe for work” trailer and a link to the full, X-rated film on WoodRocket.com.

From top to bottom: Aladdick, Dragon Boob Z, Mr. Rimjob's Neighborwood, The Loin King, Red Dead Erection.

This included a theme song that would toe the line of parody homage without crossing into copyright infringement. For that task, and most WoodRocket musical scores and lyrics, Myers has entrusted the Brooklyn-based sound designer David DeCeglie.

When Myers approached him to write the parody version of the iconic SpongeBob theme song, DeCiglie still remembers his response: “Fuck yeah, man, that sounds fucking ludicrous.”

And it was. Within an hour of the film’s release, the newly launched WoodRocket website crashed under the server load of people clicking to watch it.

The runaway success of the studio’s first original parody was doubly shocking, because Squarenuts was the “most fucked-up thing to date, at the time,” that Myers and his crew had made. The construction of the giant square costume was the work of Tom Devlin, who’s been involved with WoodRocket since the beginning. The directive from Myers, Devlin told me, was to make it look kind of like Pizza the Hutt from Spaceballs. In other words, like an actor is trapped inside a repulsive homemade costume that swallowed him whole. The result was a poly-foam fabrication glued onto a box.

“It was just… creepy.” Devlin said. “It was really hard for him to move around, and really hard for him to perform. But it just adds to the weirdness and uncomfortability of the parody.”

“He looked like a monster,” Myers said, of SpongeKnob. “And, you know, it was funny—or at least, we found it funny—and people either loved it or hated it. But they watched it.”

Devlin and Myers share a similar ethos: Don’t think too much about how the performers will perform. Just make the costumes and see what they do in them.

“Sometimes it’s not about whether or not the actors can be comfortable. It’s about what is the silliest thing we can put out there,” Devlin said. And at this point in the studio’s reputation, a performer signing up for a WoodRocket shoot knows what they’re getting into.

Rizzo Ford’s role as “Dikachu” in Strokémon XXX is unforgettable. She looks like one of Dr. Seuss’ cartoon mice if it ran into traffic. Her head hangs a little. She hunches forward. The mass of foam latex and thick yellow and black paint molded to her head and nose is forcing her to breathe through her mouth and keep her eyes partially shut.

“Dikachu! Dikachu, Dikachu,” she squawks. She and “Fisty,” whose pubic hair is shaved and dyed into a neon orange landing strip to match her anime-orange hair, are together going down on “Gash,” played by Tyler Nixon. As I watch the video online, I’m legitimately concerned about her ability to come up for air.

“I feel like comedy and porn should go hand in hand,” Ford told me. “Sex is silly. We make silly noises with our mouths and bodies. I think that by having comedic porn it normalizes things that might make us embarrassed if they were to happen with a new sexual partner.”

Ford not only survived this shoot, but would do it again “in a heartbeat” even after taking multiple showers and soaking in a tub to get all that makeup off.

“He’s not going to stop being Super Mario because his flying raccoon dick is out"

There’s really no preparing oneself for the process of a WoodRocket costume and makeup session.

Just ask Will Tile, who answered a casting call to be a WoodRocket extra in 2018, for Red Dead Erection. Just a few months prior, he was a virgin in the adult industry, looking for a new way to make a living. He’s since played a cop in Dick Hard (the Die Hard parody) and a lip-syncing genie in Aladdick, released May 2019.

When he got to the set of Aladdick, Myers told him to head to makeup. “I’m thinking they’re just gonna like, spruce me up,” he recalled. Instead, he spent half an hour getting spray-painted bright blue from the waist up.

Tile thought he could get into porn and be “one of those big scary black male performers,” nondescript beyond a stereotypical male performer, virtually anonymous at his level. But after Aladdick, things changed. “That’s when everything went to hell. That’s when everything went straight to shit,” he said.

Now he can’t walk onto most sets without someone pointing out that he was the genie. Or a cop. Or Simba. Or a reptilian creature from Ten-Inch Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Tile’s mom has even seen him painted blue and half-naked in a porno.

Tile is an ex-Marine, a former wildland firefighter, and an EMT-in-training, so his family is accustomed to worrying about him. Now they can rest easy knowing he’s perfectly healthy and happy, playing a cop with a glued-on mustache or a raunchy blue genie.

“For two years they had to worry about me coming home in a box, if I came home at all. And then when I took the wildland job, it was like, ‘Is he gonna get burnt up, or fall off a cliff and die?’” he said. “Now they’re like, ‘Oh, porn? Yeah, that’s fine.’”

Tommy Pistol’s erect penis juts out from a green spandex bodysuit. He’s moaning from inside a fully enclosed alien mask, while April O’Neil and Lauren Phillips—two glittery trespassers who look like they’ve wandered out of a Burning Man camp onto Area 51—caress each other and his body, laid flat on a surgical table. He waggles the long, floppy fingertips of his bodysuit in pleasure.

Pistol’s been friends with Myers since 2010, when they met during production of a Sex and the City parody for New Sensations. He’s played a variety of roles for the company since then, and somehow keeps ending up playing characters that involve poking his boner through the most unsexy full-body costumes.

Having convincingly good sex for the camera is a feat of athleticism even on a normal set. Having sex while in character as a childhood memory is a whole other thing.

“If you came to see Super Mario fucking the princess then you’re going to see Super Mario fucking the princess,” Pistol said. “He’s not going to stop being Super Mario because his flying raccoon dick is out.”

Lance Hart, who played “Mr. Rogers” in the studio’s most recent film, Mr. Rimjob’s Neighborwood, said that even this mindfuck of a role was easier than wearing a heavy BDSM mask or leather apron, as he’s had to do in other movies.

“It’s definitely a little weird when something felt really good and I needed to moan but also pretend to be Mister Rogers, but I’m kind of into it,” Hart said.

Adding to the ego-death exercise of wearing a glued-on mustache and painting one’s butthole neon, WoodRocket’s studio is in Las Vegas, where to film, they have to cut off the noisy air conditioning. Full body paint, elaborate costumes, and hours of rigorous sex when it’s over a hundred degrees has made for some interesting moments.

“With this job, it can’t just all be buttholes and elbows. You can actually get to do the good stuff"

“I’m pumping away, and I can feel myself about to pass out,” Tile said, recalling his role as Simba in The Loin King, where he and Kira Noir wore thick, fuzzy lion hats and gloves during their sex scene. “I’m like, I’m about to pass out on set. This is how I go out.” He didn’t, and made it through to the cut, and said he would still do it all again.

Holly Myers recently started stepping in to direct films for WoodRocket. With Holly behind the camera, the movies are no less hilarious, and she still takes a lot of care to make performers comfortable and safe.

“Generally, I try to keep the mood on set light and positive,” she said. “We are already asking them to put themselves in front of a camera to have sex—already a brave step—then going beyond and asking them to do it in a potentially uncomfortable costume, while staying in character.”

During Martinez’s headpiece-impaired performance of Vajin Buu, they stopped and reshot new takes at least five times when the paint and glue started slipping. She said, “It’s like, ‘Cut, OK, same intensity, aaand go!’ when I was in the middle of an orgasm or leading right up to it.” It’s challenging, not just physically, but mentally.

“We always know it’s not going to be easy, no matter how much you adjust things,” Myers said. [Porn] is not like real sex, it’s opening up and making sure the camera and lights get in there… I’ve heard it described as fucking around a corner.”

But it might also just take a special kind of performer to work through the giggles, and the discomfort, and the sweaty paint. Pistol said he feels like sex in these costumes comes “weirdly natural” to him. “It honestly keeps me sane after doing this for so many years,” he said. “Laughter is my therapy… I understand jerking off at home while laughing out loud isn’t for everyone. But comedy porn breaks down barriers.”

At this point (or likely, a lot earlier), you may be wondering who gets off to this stuff? Is there an audience craving a sexualized Mister Rogers? Are there people out there who are horny for a grotesque Pikachu, or a nightmare simulacrum of SpongeBob with a hard-on?

That question is flawed from the start. First of all, yes, undoubtedly, there are people who seek out WoodRocket because they’ve always had a Lego fetish or the like. But humor has always been a part of porn. Sex is fun and, often, funny.

“Humor and porn share a lot of similarities,” Lieberman, the porn historian, said. “The end goal of both is an involuntary physical reaction: an orgasm or a laugh. We watch comedy and we watch porn to experience pleasure.”

To laugh along with the people in porn can be a subversive act, said Marks, the porn scholar. “Within the context of a sex-negative, censorious society, pornographic material is politically antagonistic—unavoidably so and regardless of intention—and this frequently means poking fun.”

For the performers themselves, doing a parody shoot can be a release they don’t get in other studios. For Tile, having WoodRocket as his first studio experience showed him a different way of performing—one that most people don’t associate with porn. “With this job, it can’t just all be buttholes and elbows,” he said. “You can actually get to do the good stuff.”

I’ve seen a lot of the buttholes and elbows and painted labia that WoodRocket has put into the world, but there’s still one work of theirs that I haven’t been able to bring myself to watch. Mr. Rimjob’s Neighborwood opens with Hart lip-syncing, “Welcome to my neighborhood, where we’ll ruin your childhood,” and I fear it would be true. I loved Mister Rogers as a kid.

There was a moment during production of Mr. Rimjob, Myers told me, when he did hesitate. The man has likely ruined hundreds of childhoods with his releases, and this was the one that gave him pause.

“As we started getting closer to making it, it was the first one where I started to feel a little regret,” he said. “I grew up watching Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood. I was a PBS kid in the late 70s and early 80s… but, I thought I could do it in a way that it’s not really him, it’s spoofing the genre as much as it’s spoofing the ‘land of make believe…’ I don't think it’s insensitive to him being who he was as a person.”

It turns out there are only three things Myers said he’ll never touch in future WoodRocket productions: anything that’s intentionally punching down, anything where the characters doing the fucking aren’t clearly over 18, and any more Donald Trump stuff. He’s “so tired of that,” he said. Everything else is fair game.

“We have to find a balance,” Myers said. “Actually, I don’t know if there is a balance. But we had to find a balance between porn and whatever that was. And so we, in the process, created our own balance, and it’s something different to everybody.

“So some people will love it. Some people hate it. Some will be disgusted by it. But I think everybody can agree that we’ve ruined everyone’s childhood.”

These Are the People Making Porn Out of Your Favorite Childhood Memories syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[gossipnetwork-blog]

Stranger Things Officially Renewed for Season 3

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/stranger-things-officially-renewed-for-season-3/

Stranger Things Officially Renewed for Season 3

Get ready to go back to Hawkins!

With plenty of unfinished business lingering as Stranger Things 2 came to a close, Netflix has announced that the Duffer brothers’ highly-popular ’80s homage will officially return for a third season in 2018. The streaming giant made the announcement via Twitter on Friday, Dec. 1, first opening things up with a poll of its followers, asking, “Should we make another season of Stranger Things?” 

They followed that up with an answer to their own question: “FOR THE LOVE OF STEVE, DUH! So hold tight baby darts — season 3 is officially happening.”

FOR THE LOVE OF STEVE, DUH! So hold tight baby darts ? season 3 is officially happening.

— Netflix US (@netflix) December 1, 2017

When season two premiered, creators Matt and Ross Duffer told E! News that they were only two days into writing the new season, but they were able to confirm one major detail about the new set of episodes. “There will be a time jump for sure,” they told us. For more of what we know about the new season (so far), read on!

Netflix

Halfway There?

The Duffer Brothers are still waffling on exactly how long the series will go, but four seasons seems to be the idea so far.

“I think, you know, four to five seasons is likely where we’ll end up, but who knows?” Ross Duffer told us at the premiere. “I mean, none of this official, and we know where we want to go. We’re trying to figure out still how long it’ll take to get there, so we’ll see.”

Matt Duffer added, “It’s hard, like four seems short, five seems long. So I don’t know what to do.” 

Netflix

Another Time-Jump

There will be a time jump for sure, the Duffer Brothers confirmed to us.

“We don’t know how long, but the kids are growing up,” Matt said. “But it’s good, it makes the story evolve.” Translation: expect about another year time-jump.

  Netflix

Welcome to High School!

Get ready for high school, nerds. Yep, the kids will be entering high school in season three, as Matt confirmed on Beyond Stranger Things. (“We will be needing new teachers!” director Shawn Levy said.)

And fans can look to the final scene, set at the Snow Ball, for clues as to what’s ahead for our group of kids, according to the show’s costume designer, Kim Wilcox, who said their outfits are signs of  who they “might be becoming” in future seasons. 

“It’s a bunch of kids who are just on the cusp of becoming adults, it’s their first time at a lot of these things,” she told us. “There’s a little bit of awkwardness, but it was really fun to see where each boy’s personality might take us in the fitting, see what was right for them.”

Netflix

Wanted: Eleven

Though she eventually saved the day, Eleven’s big hero moment in the finale may come back to haunt her…as she seriously pissed off that monster.

 “This thing is very aware of Eleven,” Ross said during Beyond Stranger Things. “I would be worried about Eleven. You slammed the door on him.” Millie Bobby Brown simply exclaimed, “I’m screwed!”

Aside from dealing with monsters and closing gates, Eleven will also be facing—gulp!—being a teenage girl. “It’s a little bit of a complicated dilemma with everyone wanting her to live a somewhat regular life,” Matt said. “She’s becoming a teenager with increasingly intense powers. I could see a lot of things going not so well.”

Netflix

The Shadow Monster’s Goal

The Duffer Brothers are still keeping the big bad’s ultimate goal a secret, but Matt did tell Vulture, “It’s implied that it wants to take over Hawkins, and continue to spread beyond that. In that way, it’s very much like a virus that could take over the whole planet.”

Netflix

More Numbers!

After meeting Kali (aka Eight), fans can expect to meet more of the children that were experimented on in future seasons. “I can’t imagine that the world will only ever know Eleven and Eight,” Levy told us at the premiere. “I think we’ve clearly implied there are other numbers.”

Netflix

More Billy!

Dacre Montgomery stole many scenes as Billy, Hawkins’ new resident bad boy and the show’s human villain. But he was actually supposed to have a “bigger role” in season two.

“We ended up having so many characters it ended up, in a way, more teed up for season three than anything,” Matt revealed to Vulture. “There was a whole teen supernatural story line that just got booted because it was just too cluttered, you know? A lot of that’s just getting kicked into season three.”

As for that now-iconic cookie moment with Mrs. Wheeler? Everyone is hoping for a hook-up in season three. “I feel like the word needs that,” Levy said during Beyond Stranger Things.

“I think it’d be hot…Ted is not satisfying her,” Matt said, with Ross adding, “She’s lonely, if you notice she always has a glass of wine!”

Netflix

More Erica!

Speaking of scene-stealers, let’s all take a moment to bow down to Erica, Lucas’ sassy little sister, played to perfection by Priah Ferguson. Originally, she was only supposed to appear in one scene, but after filming it, the Duffers kept finding ways to add Erica. 

“There is no version of season three where Erica doesn’t have a majorly expanded role!” Matt told Vulture. “She’s got to. She’s too good.”

Netflix

Jopper FTW?

Is that Joyce and Hopper’s ‘ship name? Anyway, their chemistry will continue to be on display in future seasons, after Bob’s (Sean Astin) death. “There’s definitely something there. Part of it is that they’re comfortable with each other and they’ve known each other for a long time,” Ross told Vulture. “In my mind, Hopper still has some growing to do before that can happen. But [the chemistry] is definitely there.”

And Jopper’s No. 1 stan is Hopper himself, with Matt saying, “David [Harbour] is really into the idea of a Joyce-Hopper relationship.”

Netflix

Love Triangle Continues

By the end of season two, Nancy seems to have chosen Jonathan over Steve, who became the world’s favorite babysitter. But judging from the lingering look Steve gives Nancy in the finale, the complicated romance situation between the three seems far from over.

“I don’t think it’s the end of the story,” Joe Kerry told us. “But I do think that the second season was a lot about him growing up and learning how to put people before him a little bit more. I don’t think it’s over… I think how they leave it is realistic.”

Stranger Things stars Winona Ryder,David Harbour, Finn Wolfhard, Noah Schnapp, Millie Bobby Brown, Caleb McLaughlin, Gaten Matarazzo, Cara Buono, Natalia Dyer, Charlie Heaton, Joe Keery, Dacre Montgomery, and Sadie Sink.

What are you hoping to see in Stranger Things season three? Sound off in the comments below!

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[samiraahmeduk]

Intellectual and art school, champion of medieval art, but it was John Ruskin’s alleged horror of female pubic hair that was the ground breaking revelation I first heard as an undergraduate.Emma Thompson’s film Effie Gray appeared to add that he was an oppressed mummy’s boy, too. However this programme grew out of an invitation to address Speech Day at Queenswood School in Hertfordshire 2 years ago which suddenly opened up a new way of seeing him.

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The school had been named in reference to Of Queens’ Gardens, Ruskin’s famous speech and subsequently published essay about raising girls like flowers, to be educated and freed from the narrowest constraints of traditional feminine upbringing. Archivist Wendy Bird showed me photos, letters and a mini mock up of the infamous “purple horror” floaty Liberty-designed dresses that early pupils would wear for special occasions. There was a white wafting gown, too, really very Isadora Duncan, to dance like flowers. I was fascinated by the unashamedly aesthetic glamour. There were photos of the Queen Mother who came to a display back in the 1950s.

Sutton High School chemistry lab designed by teacher Annette Hunt (far right) photo taken between 1895 and 1928 (photo SHS archives)

I thought of my own memories of attending a private girls’ school, founded in 1880 and of the many like it. Their photographs of Edwardian ladies in chemistry laboratories or lined up as hockey players in long skirts and piecrust collared blouses. How did girls’ education come so rapidly to include the same ambitions of sporting and scientific prowess as boys? Did Ruskin, even before the female suffrage movement, help set that off?

I enlisted Simon and Thomas Guerrier, my regular Sunday Feature producers from HG and the H Bomb and The Fundamentalist Queen, to help me explore John Ruskin’s Victorian vision of female liberation.

Ruskin wanted to educate women only as far as they would make superior wives and companions for their empire building husbands, and raise healthy children. Toby Haydoke does a wonderful job bringing him to life for us, while Dr Matthew Sweet, author of Inventing the Victorians, gives an insight into his huge intellectual celebrity. But it wasn’t a simple revisionist thesis, to reclaim Ruskin the medievalist as a feminist. There was a prejudicial disgust at inferior races. The V&A’s excellent Lockwood Kipling exhibition catalogue on the sculptor and art and design teacher points out that Ruskin dismissed the richness of Indian art because of his insistence they were savages.

Drill at Darley St School (copyright Leeds Library and Museum)

Yet there were clearly so many revolutionary ideas brewing in his theories. At a time when reading novels was considered dangerous for female minds he promoted the idea that girls should have a wide education in science and art (though not theology) and that a “noble girl” should be given free rein in books as she would choose wisely and not be harmed. Asa Briggs’ Victorian Things quotes his advice, in a letter to a girl correspondent, about using a magnifying glass to look at crystals: “I send you one for yourself, such as every girl should keep in her waistcoat pocket always hand.”

Talking fit bodies with Dr Fern Riddell

At the British Museum Dr Fern Riddell, author of A Victorian Guide To Sex discussed Ruskin and Charles Kingsley’s fascination with the muscular bodies of the Greeks in their loose robes. The idea that healthy bodies made healthy minds would have had a political power in Victorian England, where childbirth was so dangerous and malnutrition, poverty and child labour stunted growth. But Riddell warned against giving too much credit to Ruskin and his friends, when women doctors and health campaigners were at the forefront of female education programmes around sexual health. Still isn’t there a fascinating modern legacy in women, whether homemakers or career women, obsessed with both success and strength, having abs as honed as those of Jessica Ennis Hill?

With Dr Debbie Challis and Dr Amara Thornton. 3 career women discussing Ruskin & mummies around the kitchen table

Dr Debbie Challis from the Petrie Museum of Egyptian Archaeology, UCL and Dr Amara Thornton from the Institute of Archaeology, UCL offered insight into the world of adult education opening up for women who whether as archaeological explorers themselves, or night school enthusiasts, signed up to study the growing knowledge about the Egyptian and classical worlds.

At Angels Costumes with Louise Scholz-Conway

Ruskin’s focus was on middle class women as the angels of the hearth. To get an insight into what physical liberation meant to them, Simon insisted I needed to try on corsets at Angels Costumiers. The experience challenged another of my lazy assumptions – that women hated corsets. To liberate oneself from the feeling of protection and support it gave at a time when women were considered physically weaker, required a significant leap of faith.

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The dancing that schools like Queenswood promoted represented both a very Ruskinian idea of the intrinsic beauty of the feminine and a delightfully female-focussed physicality. The school staged elaborate classical and mythological based plays and masques. The development of Delacroze Eurythmics formalized aesthetic ideals amid the more traditional wholesomeness of outdoor games.

Queenswood register (Queenswood archives)

One of the most moving moments of making the programme was when Dr Wendy Bird showed me through the registers of Queenswood School. Reading the entries of when girls joined and when and why they left was an insight into changing times: In the early years many were returning home to nurse invalid relatives or to early marriage. But surprisingly fast, they are going to be teachers and increasingly to university as female colleges began to flourish.

Old Queenswood girls Diane Maclean (L) Annette Haynes (centre) Dr Jean Horton (seated)

For our programme Queenswood brought together old girls Annette Haynes, Dr Jean Horton, Diane Maclean, from the 1940s and 50s who remembered the eurythmic dancing lessons and the unexpected paths their lives took after. Some had become wives of empire, joining husbands working for Western corporations in Africa and the Far East. But many, like Dr Horton, a renowned anaesthetist in Hong Kong, never married, defying the goal Ruskin had in mind for his flower girls.

Queenswood girls today: Check out those badges

It was fun to read Ruskin’s words to Isobel Beynon, Aoife Morgan Jones and Natasha Rajan current sixth formers, and hear their opinion. Their blazers were festooned with shields and badges celebrating team success. Exactly the kind of ambition Ruskin thought so unladylike. The Victorian ladies’ schools that still thrive today, and there are many of them, have long defied the idea of producing humble helpmeets. Girls from all over the old Empire come to get a British girls’ school education. Would Ruskin flinch in horror, Effie Gray-style at the monster he’d created? Does it matter? Now more than ever a young woman finds herself entering a garden of delights thanks to the possibilities of a good well rounded education.

With gratitude to all our interviewees, but especially the staff and pupils of Queenswood School.

John Ruskin’s Eurythmic Girls is on Radio 3 on Sunday February 26th 2017 at 630pm and iplayer after

  The making of John Ruskin’s Eurythmic Girls Intellectual and art school, champion of medieval art, but it was John Ruskin’s alleged horror of female pubic hair that was the ground breaking revelation I first heard as an undergraduate.Emma Thompson’s film Effie Gray appeared to add that he was an oppressed mummy’s boy, too.

[toomanysurveys9]

some answers from the last survey are from last night, by the way.

What do you want for your birthday? i will be happy to spend it with those i love.

What’s your favorite flavor of tea? i don’t drink tea. it upsets my stomach.

What’s your favorite fall drink? i guess hot chocolate, although you can drink that anytime. 

What’re you going to be for Halloween? i have no idea. however, we do have wyatt’s costume even though he’s not yet born. he’s gonna be a cute little monster. XD and i’m not crazy. my mom bought it cos it was cute and super cheap since halloween was over.

Do you think you’ve learned a lot and grown a lot in the past year? yes, i guess so.

Are you satisfied with how you’ve spent your year? some of it, yes. i feel like a wasted quite a bit of it too though.

What’s something you’ve learned lately? at my last appointment, my doctor told me a little about a way he recommends for women to breastfeed to make it a little easier on them, and more likely to continue.

Do you have a lot of friends? i have one.. maybe two.. but no more than that.

Do you own a yellow scarf? i do not..

Do you own brown shoes? i have tan shoes, so yes.

Do you own anything leopard print? not since i was a lot younger. i used to love leopard print.

Will you buy a cake for your next birthday? i probably won’t buy it myself..

Are you counting down the days until your birthday right now? i am not. i’m not all that excited for it in september, really.

Are you excited for something currently? baby shower end of february. baby boy is due in March. that’‘s about it i think.

If you could change just one thing about your life right now, what would it be? finances..

What’s your favorite color? black and blue mostly. sometimes i like purples.

Have you ever been to a school dance? i went to two of them in high school. homecoming (which you didn’t have to dress up) and then our senior prom.

Do you make a list of goals at the beginning of each week? i do not. it’d probably just depress me more when none of my goals were reached. lol.

Are you artistic? i am not.

When was that last time you drew a picture in a sketchbook? high school art class. either junior or senior year..

Is there a tree right outside your bedroom window? yeah.

Is it windy right now where you are? it’s blowing, but nothing too crazy.

Is it raining? not currently.

What’s something about you that makes you different from everyone else? i can’t think of anything right now..

Do you dress the same way as your peers? some i guess?

Do you talk the same way as your peers? some i guess..

Do you have the same life goals as your friends? yes and no. i guess i do have some similar ones, but we also have quite a few different ones..

Are you having a good day? my day just started not too long ago.

Is your hair red? nope. brown.

Do you like brownies? if i’m in the mood for them, yes.

Have you ever dressed up as a witch on Halloween? when i was a kid, sure.

What’s one color that you never wear because it doesn’t look good on you? i don’t wear many bright colors.. i kind of wear a lot of gray, black, and blues..

Have you ever been to a masquerade? i have not.

Do you eat vegetables? occasionally.

Do you wear leggings? not often.

Is there anybody you think is hot over the age of 40? yeah..

Who is the most innappropriate person you know? tito or chad. probably chad more than tito.

What year in your life do you think you were the least attractive? every year. lol. just keeps getting worse.

Did anything bad happen to you in August? not that i can think of.

Who in your phone has a heart after their name? jacob.

What was the last movie you watched? With who? a bug’s life by myself.

Anything you’re avoiding? putting laundry away. i hate doing it all by myself.

If you could have one thing right now what would it be? better finances!

If your parents searched your room, would they be angry at what they’d find? no.. that’d be stupid for them to do though since i’m an adult.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? yeah. i know at least one person does.

Have you given somebody more second chances than you can count? yeah. lots of people.

After breaking up, what’s the worst? i don’t know. i had one breakup and it wasn’t hard on me at all.

Do you think your last ex deserves to die? of course not.

Do any girls like the last guy you kissed? it’s possible, but it doesn’t matter because he is mine.

Are you happier now than you were three months ago? not really. i’ve been stuck at home for the last few weeks during the week, finances are sort of crazy right now, and we have a little over seven weeks before baby is due..

Honestly, are things going the way you planned? not so much. i thought i’d be working a job i actually enjoy..

Have you done anything sexual today? not today, no.

Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t or won’t? yeah. there is.

Do you have a second mom? i have my mother-in-law..

Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? never in a million years could i hate him.