#my heart started to sink when they lost best director and drama

[jugeullae]

Empathy is what real power looks like.

MOVING 무빙 (2023) | Park In-je 60th Baeksang Arts Award Grand Prize for Television (Daesang)

[djarinbarnes]

Nothing Personal - Dave York (2/2)

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summary: after finding out data from the CIA’s security sector has been stolen, the Director finds you to be the perfect fit to find out who the mole inside the office is.

pairings: Dave York x female reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: 18+ smut, minor spoilers from The Equalizer 2, mentions of blood, character death, 

a/n: here’s part two!!!! let me know how you liked this! It was so fun to write, and I really appreciate the feedback on the first part!

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part one

The next few months passes in a blur between stolen glances and frequent hookups at your apartment during the twilight of the night. There had been no useful leads in the case, and one of the only things keeping you in the affair with York, was the director.

“Something is leading me to believe that it is him. Y/N give him one more month. If there’s no more useful leads, you’re free to end whatever the two of you are doing. Remember to keep your heart out of this. We don’t need unnecessary drama here.”

All of a sudden, brief talks with the director were the new normal for you. One more thing that was the new normal was Dave getting more handsy with you than you would have liked him to be. Yet you found yourself enjoying it. A lot.

By the end of said month, there was something comfortable about the reassurance his persona gave you, and you found yourself slowly falling for the man, even though your orders were clearer than day. Keep your heart out of it.

Slowly, you found yourself unable to do just that. With all the flowers he’d been giving you, the gifts, his time. And the pleasure. Sweet, sinful pleasure. You had no idea that a man was able to fuck like that.

You quickly realized that you were giving Dave everything his wife wasn’t. You found yourself getting lost within the pleasure he was supplying, easily giving into him and letting him do whatever he wanted with you.

You found out what he liked and how he liked it, his favorite positions and his wettest dreams. Whatever deems necessary. You found yourself indulged in things you’d never imagined; positions you didn’t even know existed and unsuccessfully trying your best to tire out the libido of a starved man.

And tiring out the libido of Dave York was a challenge. He was insatiable. You’d both agreed that you wouldn’t dare fuck in the office, but the parking garage during lunch break was apparently an exception.

The pressure on your clit was jarring, the thrusts of his hips raucous in the small confinements of the backseat of his car. Your whimpers and moans were muffled by your hand, your teeth digging into the soft flesh just under your thumb to further silence yourself. The parking garage was only that private.

“Just need to fucking have you, at all times…” his voice was strained, his hands gripping your hips tightly, his thrusts increasing in pace. The groans spilled from his lips as you arched your back further, making his cock hit at just the right angle inside of you.

“Fuck, baby, get on top,” He groans as he pulls out of you, sitting down on the seat he was previously kneeling on. You shift and swing your knee over his thighs, straddling his hips before sinking back down onto his cock. “That’s it...”

You moan out when he’s fully sheathed inside of you, his hands gripping and pulling your cheeks apart slightly as you start to move on top of him. You quiver in his arms, your climax building rapidly in your belly. He scoots his hips just a little bit further out on the seat, and it gives you a much better angle to ride him.

“God damn it.” He shudders underneath you, and you relish in the sound of his groans and the squelching noises coming from where the two of you are connected. Your whimpers are triggered by the rapid snap of his hips combined with the movement of your hips.

“Fuck, Dave,” you moan out as he keeps the pace, along with keeping the movement of your hips going. A string of fuck leaves your lips as you feel yourself nearing your tipping point before you’re falling over the edge, your cunt violently convulsing around his length.

“Fuck, that’s it baby…” he groans into your collarbone, only slightly bared by the dress shirt he’s managed to pull off your shoulder. You dig your nails into his shoulders as he keeps moving you, dragging out your orgasm further, making you see stars.

“Fuck, where do you want it?” It’s merely a whisper, his hand pulling your head to his, foreheads resting against one another while he’s trying his best to keep his orgasm at bay. You found out the second time you were together that he absolutely despised condoms, and since you were both clean and you were on the pill, you both didn’t seem to bother anymore.

“Fuck, inside, give it to me!” you throw your head back and his lips attach themselves to the underside of your chin as he comes, his breaths ragged against your skin, his hands tightening on the plump cheek of your ass.

You both come down reluctantly, not wanting to give up the moment you both found yourself in. His fingers tipped your head down, his lips attaching themselves to yours, his tongue slowly sliding over your bottom lip, emitting a giggle from you.

Belgium.

It had been just a few days since you had arrived, and what a few days it had been. Between the suspected murder-suicide of one of the agencies’ affiliates and his wife and the murder of one of your colleagues, you finally had reason to believe York had something to do with it.

Even though you had been in bed with him and attached to his hip for most of the week you had been in Brussels investigating, everything slowly started adding up. Although it just didn’t sit right with you.

You had seen so much in your time, but the stab wound between Susan’s ribs was so expertly placed you knew it had to be someone with expertise and knowledge. And also, the fact that she had been killed while Dave was out to bring you lunch and the Belgian chocolate that he had promised you.

Now you just needed the information from the bug. And it came shortly after your return to the United States. From the director herself, in a direct distress call to your phone.

He’s here. He’s come alone. He’s figured me out.

Your heart was pounding as you sped towards her mansion, hands shaking so bad you were afraid you were going to swivel off the road. You had never been in a situation like this, and you found yourself slightly panicking over everything that could go wrong.

He could know it’s me. He’ll shoot me upon entry. He’s already killed the director.

You turned your car off a few yards away from her house, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to yourself. You relished in the happiness of him coming alone to the directors’, so you wouldn’t have to take down more men than necessary.

You kicked your shoes off in the grass of her garden and slowly approached the door she had left open for you for an easy and stealthy access to her house. You made your way into the quiet house, the lights dimmed way more than you would’ve liked.

You had your gun in your hand, the security on the Glock cocked off. You raised the gun when you heard a slight commotion, before strained voices made their way to your ears. You stealthily moved between the shadows of her furniture.

The director was sitting again the wall of her living room, hands tied in front of her, with the lifeless body of her husband beside her. You were thankful she had marbled floors that didn’t creak as you stepped over the stones barefoot.

“You see director, you’re the only one in my way as of this moment.” You recognized his voice immediately. You could recognize it anywhere by now, since you’d gotten so used to it. It had been so many months since you first had him in your bed.

“Susan would have figured out the motive of that double murder within days. So, naturally, I had to get rid of her.” A few minutes passed in silence as you awaited his next move.

“I figured out what game you’re playing.” You heard the director whimper, making your heart beat faster in your chest. “Trying to distract me while you investigate?” You heard the sound of Velcro, which made you furrow your brows as you stood in the darkness of her house. Her muffled voice reached your ears.

“Who’s your acquaintance?!” you heard him raise his voice before the sound of skin slamming against skin echoed through the halls. He ripped the duct tape off her lips, making her cry out. You flinch slightly when you hear her strained voice, insisting that she didn’t know what he was talking about.

You leaned forward just a bit, finally getting a glimpse of him. He was in all black, crouched in front of the director, her lip now split and a visible bruise showing up on her cheekbone. You noticed the gun with the silencer on lying beside him as he twisted his hands together, trying to get the director to talk.

You stepped out of the shadows, making your presence known to the director. You watched as she visibly relaxed yet keeping your arrival a secret. You make your way toward them slowly, keeping your ears perked for anything that could give you away and for what he was saying to the director.

“Is it her? Huh?” you watched as the director’s eyes widened, his hand coming up to strike her across the face again. “That agent, the one you convinced to fuck me for information?” The back of his hand makes contact with her cheek and she cries out a no.

“So you’re trying to tell me a young, attractive agent with her morals in check from one day to the other is suddenly interested in me? Interested in fucking me? Willing to screw over my family?!” He hits her again and you scrunch up your face at the sound, cringing at the assault you’re witnessing.

“Screwing over your family over was your own doing.” The director spit out a mouthful of blood, challenging him even further to keep him oblivious to your presence. “She’s a tough girl. Admires you. She might even love you.”

The sound of his laughter filled your ears, but it wasn’t like the laughter you were used to. This one was harsh. Mocking, almost. “Love?” He snorted, his head falling slightly before he brought it up again. “If she loves me, I feel bad for her. She doesn’t deserve it.”

Did you? Did you love him? Yeah. You did. Even though it was hard to determine at this point. It was hard to keep your feelings in check, no matter what your mission had been. You watched as he repositioned himself, picking the gun off the floor and pointing it to the director’s forehead.

“You know director… I’ve liked working for you. Especially the time before you turned into a stuck-up bitch.” You watch as he tilts his head before rising to his feet. The aim of your gun follows him as he straightens his back. You raise your aim slightly.

“Ellen…” you hear Dave speak again, watching as he weighs the gun in her hand, towering over her. He takes the aim, and you step closer to him. There aren’t more than a few feet between the two of you. “This is nothing personal.”

“No.” You finally speak up, watching as his shoulders visibly tense up, before he turns to you. You watch as the color drains from his face as you make eye contact over the cocked gun. “It’s not.”

The shot echoes through the living room, along with the heavy thud sounding as his lifeless body falls to the floor. A few moments pass before you step over him and free the director, gently brushing your fingers over the bruise on her cheek, helping her to her feet. You lean down to feel her husband’s neck, finding a faint pulse before giving the director a nod.

There’s a pool of blood spreading on the white marble of the director’s floor, and you wince at the sight of him. “I’m sorry it had to end like this.” You crouch in front of Dave’s body, pressing a kiss to your fingers before laying them against his parted ones. “I really did love you.”

With a heavy sigh and tears burning in your eyes, you walk up to the director and grasp her face in your hands. You brush your thumbs over her teary cheeks, her eyes clearly startled by the situation she was just in.

“Come on. Let’s get you cleaned up.”

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[ladyc0312]

A Jikook Guide to RunBTS: 66-80

Things in this batch start out a little slow, KM-wise, but seriously pick up around the Toronto episodes. It features the episodes where both RM and Jin ask if JK and JM are a couple, so it includes the giggly hand-push game that helped make me a jikook believer! 

As usual, let me know if I’ve missed anything or should take another look at something. :)

Ep 66 "BTS in a Comic Book Cafe Part 1" (Ep: 2 / KM: 1)

The one that I can’t help but feel would be more fun if I was more familiar with the comics involved, but the guys make it cute anyway

3:08 - This is a little hard to see because they use weird angles and cuts, but JK sings a piece of a theme song and JM catches his eye and sings with him.

9:23 - JK leans in over JM's shoulder to see how many people are on the comic book page

10:18 - JM does the same when it's JK's turn

BEHIND 10:29 - JM jokes around with JK and does the playful chest tap thing

Ep 67 "BTS in a Comic Book Cafe Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 1)

None

BEHIND 7:28 - JM asks JK if there's a comic book he wants and says he'll buy it for him if so

Ep 68 "Heart Pang" (Ep: 1 / KM: 0)

The one where I can't for the life of me understand the board game they are playing

None. 

Ep 69 "BTS in Toronto Part 1" (Ep: 4 / KM: 5)

The Toronto one where Jikook wear matching denim shirts while going to Niagara Falls, getting lunch, and playing games

2:36 - RM says there are certain people who will struggle with the wake up challenge. JK and JM readily seem to admit it's them. 

6:29 - JM hangs back (to walk with JK?) when the rest of the group starts heading for the Falls.

8:06 - There's a "teleporting" moment where Jin is in between JM and JK, then the camera cuts away, then it comes back and jikook are next to each other. They stay next to each other as they walk on.

9:52 - You can see jikook interacting in the background.

12:25 - JM takes a photo of JK and gets him to giggle, then they huddle to look at the pic.

13:56 - JM puts his arm around JK and takes a selca in the background, causing RM to ask "what, are you a couple or something? Both wearing denim shirts?" He says it fairly seriously for a line that seems like it's supposed to be a joke and they don't laugh or say anything in response - it looks like JM looks away and flips his hair while JK shifts and awkwardly rubs his forehead. You can also see a quiet exchange after between RM and JM where RM says no to something, then nods at JK. Unclear if it's related, but including it just in case. 

15:25 - JK doesnn't try to distract JM while he did the staring contest like he did with Hobi. When Jimin passes, JK is the only one to clap. 

18:04 - Quick moment where you can see JK start to rub the arm of JM's shirt before the camera cuts away.

18:50 - JM laughs and touches JK's chest after JK loses the rocks paper scissor game, too.

19:53 - When the other five walk away and JK is doing something with his mic, we don't see where JM is.

22:02 - JK appears to help JM with something with his camera in the foreground.

BEHIND 4:12 - After JHope scolds JK for letting Suga pour everyone's water, JK goes to pour JM some water, then puts the pitcher down. JM seemingly tries to help him out by saying it's a new trend for the oldest to pour water. 

Ep 70 "BTS in Toronto Part 2" (Ep: 3 / KM: 5)

The Toronto one where the guys go shopping, pick beds, and play games

1:15 - JK slows down to walk side by side with JM.

2:00 - When JK messes up the game he was confident he'd win, JK laughs and playfully shoves at his chest.

7:23 - When JK loses a game and has to buy the others hoodies, JM sneaks a hat into the pile while JK has his back turned. RM rats him out.

8:01 - JM quietly puts the hat back in the pile, then walks over and hugs JK.

8:40 - JK walks over to Jimin to show him something (sunglasses he wanted?).

20:30 - When they're all joking around about whether they can fit four people on a bed, JK moves JM into an L-shape and then lays down nested with him.

BEHIND 0:09 - JK calls out "Jimin-ssi!" and tosses JM that hat he bought him.

4:49 - When the guys are all stretching and JM is in an inconvenient place, JK calls him "Jimin-ssi" again, essentially feels up his calf, and then pushes his upper thigh, all purportedly to get him to move over.

5:28 - JK kneels down behind JM, who's on all fours, and holds his hips to correct his position (I am literally just describing what happens in the clip, but I kind of feel like I'm writing porn, here...). JK then picks Jimin up to move him over a bit. Both giggle as JK starts to stand up and then the camera cuts away.  I can't even begin to think what exercising looks like for these two when there aren't cameras on them...

6:55 - JK reads out the words on the Jimin shirt they're all wearing, which happen to be, "BTS Park Jimin, I love you! I root for you! I'm ARMY!" with a huge grin on his face. Jimin laughs - no one else does - and then jokes that they should wear the shirts back to Korea, prompting JK to tell him "bye!" and wave while giggling. 

7:37 - Jimin shows the parts of the shirt design he would change by poking JK's chest, and then JK and JM share a fairly steamy look until RM interrupts. 

7:52 - JK folds up the shirt so JM's face looks weird and Jimin points to him doing it and laughs. No one else does.  Man, these two were really in their own world this whole Toronto trip, weren't they?

8:02 - JM tries to give JK some advice on the game he's about to play. Before starting, JK starts what seems like it's going to be a silly pose, but ends up being him dragging his fingers down his face, neck, and chest. Sadly for JK, JM wasn't looking. Happily for us, we can look as much as we want. 

8:18 - When JM wins a game, JK claps for him. You can probably guess by now that he's the only one who does. 

10:09 - JM steals a piece of steak, then JK does some cross-cut teleporting to come over and sink down into a chair next to him. JM overdoes making his eyes look big and innocent (perhaps hoping to get caught and scolded?).

10:35 - JM makes Jin move when he takes JM's seat next to JK I feel like just the Behind for this episode needs it's own jikook rating! And most of it is watching JK lead the guys in a workout. If you're going to watch just one Run Behind, consider making it this one!

Ep 71 "BTS in Toronto Part 3" (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

The Toronto one where the guys have dinner, have breakfast, and play games

14:28 - Maybe nothing, but just to note it - in this and the next shot, you can see JM heading towards where JK is lying back on the couch after losing a game, then there's an abrupt cut and everyone is in a totally different position. 

29:20 - JK tells JM the "super-pancake" he made is for him since he has to do the penalties. 

BEHIND 6:59 - JM says that he thinks JK will want to eat and calls out for him.

Ep 72 "BTS and Mafia" (Ep: 3 / KM: 2)

The one in which we learn that BTS is so terrible at the Mafia game that it almost comes back around to being impressive 

3:10 - When Jin says JK is suspicious because he isn't talking, JM defends him, saying "you know he doesn't talk much." 

8:34 - JM seems to direct his appeal to be spared to JK.

18:16 - JK compliments how well Jimin is doing at the game.

20:13 - After Jimin says he's ARMY, JK asks, "do you like me that much?" Then there's a quick cut and Jin is doing a Jim Halpert face at the camera.

28:03 - Confusing maybe-moment - let me know if it's clearer to anyone else! - but after JH is sending finger heart guns, JM points gun fingers directly at JK for no apparent reason. 

BEHIND 2:39 - Before they start playing, JK predicts that JM and Jin will be good at the game.

Eps 73-76 “Run BTS Drama Parts 1-4″ (n/a)

The ones where BTS spend four episodes making a “comedic” skit

01:09 - After JK explains that he had a wisdom tooth taken out, Jimin adds the info that they had to take out the whole root.  09:10 - Even though V is the "director" of Jimin's scene, JK speaks up and takes over the role, saying that directors use informal language and repeating twice in informal language "Jimin, let's go!" He continues speaking informally when Jimin messes up and JK scolds him.  11:40 - When it's JK's turn to deliver a line and he gets nervous about remembering it, JM reads it out loud for him. He also says as soon as JK delivers the line that he did the best job and adds to Hobi, "he doesn't get embarassed, I told you."  16:26 - It's a little hard to see for sure, but it looks like Jimin votes for JK when it's time to choose who should be the skit's director. I'm going to be totally honest with you guys - I didn't rewatch these episodes past this. I first saw it months ago and remember being disappointed and fairly bored through most of it past the first half of the first episode - I don't find the skit funny and the behind-the-scenes stuff isn't amusing enough to make a four-part episode about. I’m sure there are others who completely disagree with me and no judgment if you don't share my opinion! But I'm doing this guide for fun and I don't want to spend two hours rewatching them. 

I don't recall a ton of jikook beyond the above - I think there's a moment in part 3 where JK is getting tired and Jimin offers to take over slating for him. So, anyone who is a fan and knows / finds more jikook moments, please let me know and I will update this guide to reflect that. Otherwise, let's happily move along. :)

Ep 77 “Food Guest Part 1″ (Ep: 4 / KM: 5)

The weirdly-named ones that are prob better translated as "food connoisseurs" but the specifics of the foods theme don't really matter because JIKOOK  

07:41 - When Jin says JK and JM will be competing in a palm-push game, JM says he's already lost (because JK is strong).

07:55 - I'm fairly certain that, if you're a jikook-er, you've seen this moment. It's so unabashedly flirty a description can't really do it justice.   JK and JM are supposed to be playing a game where they put their palms together and shove to see who can make the other lose their balance. JM shoves lightly at JK's chest before they even start the game, then both start giggling. Still giggly, JM asks if JK's ready and JK says he is. JM pushes at JK's palms and JK just swings his arms back as they look at each other and smile. Jin interrupts to ask, "are you a dating couple?" (that's the most direct translation - V app translation is "are you two together?"). JK and JM both laugh, the latter so hard that he spins around, thus losing the game. 

17:08 - JK is staring so intently at Jimin on his knees with a blow-pen in his mouth that he completely misses RM trying to give him a high five. Jin has to call for JK to please respond to RM before JK looks away and returns the high five, laughing and apologizing. He looks back immediately after. 

BEHIND 0:58 - JK gives JM a shoulder massage while holding his chest as JM makes satisfied noises. I've seen this clip in compilations before, but hadn't realized it was also from  this episode. It's really the gift that keeps on giving! 

4:29 - Just prior to the above palm-push game, JM reaches out to do something to JK's sleeve (I think?). The camera cuts before we see clearly.  

4:31 - Slightly different angle of JM and JK giggling at the start of the palm-push game.

7:11 - Reveals that RM actually tried to high five JK and was ignored TWICE before Jin called JK's attention away from JM on his knees with a blow-pen in his mouth. 

Ep 78 “Food Guest Part 2″ (Ep: 3 / KM: 3)

15:00 - JK jokingly asks what the answer is and Jimin giggles at him as the on-screen text says, "how adorable." Unsurprisingly, the others are less enamored. (JK's biggest fans = 1. Jimin  2. Run BTS on-screen text writers)

BEHIND 9:56 - JK watches JM dance playfully, then wiggles his own hips, seeming to want JM's attention. Jimin smiles and starts to say something that gets cut off. 

10:03 - JK films JM as JM dances and smiles while looking into the camera. Jimin is doing silly dance, but JK zooms in on his joyful face. He quickly licks his lips as he watches. 

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

*SHORT SERIES

Member: JUYEON

Genre: romantic smut or whatever you call a romantic version of having sex + drama with chaebol/lawyer juyeon

A/N: *IMPORTANT* i wrote this chapter whilst communicating with a part of my history that has caused both physical and emotional trauma to me. right now, i’m a safe mixture of upset/depressed/on the verge of a break down and it’s definitely going to show in my work, so i apologise if it doesn’t turn out well/uncomfortable. 

Links to other parts:

I Never Wanna See You Again

Frustrated (light smut)

Love Somebody (light smut)

Play With Fire (smut)

Stigma

Bourbon

~

“you want to run from being a chaebol? that’s fine.” 

“but know that you can’t run from me.”

“do you have any suites available?” juyeon holds you behind him, and it takes you awhile to understand what was happening. your fingers were tightly interlocked with his, and you could feel something burning in your abdomen.

maybe it was the realisation that there was nothing that could tear you away from him, and the way he fueled your assurance gave you a sense of security you don’t think you’ve ever felt before.

he’s defended you in the face of his mother, chose you over an engagement with another chaebol, and gave you the love you never received from your mother.

you wonder if he was only doing it because he knew you were a chaebol.

but he didn’t. 

not until an hour ago.

“yes, sir, we have the king, deluxe and premium suite. the premium suite comes with a city view and it’s on the top floor.”

he’s definitely going for that last one.

“the premium suite please,” he pulls out his wallet and takes out a black and silver card. the receptionist takes it with such grace, and you remember the last time you touched a black and silver card. 

you hurled it back at your parents and ran out the door the night they gave it to you.

keeping that stupid card meant accepting your chaebol role, and that was not going to happen. 

juyeon gets the door open, and he closes it by gently pushing you against it, lips connecting with yours without hesitation. your hands find the lining of the blazer and you begin pushing it off his shoulder, but he gets the deed done even before you realise it. 

he pulls away and lowers his head into your neck, but you stop him abruptly, and he looks up at you with worried eyes, the lust and need disappearing in an instant.

“oh, nothing’s wrong baby,” you chuckle softly, pecking him on the lips. “your... little marks haven’t healed in two days and i had to put concealer to hide them. i wouldn’t want you to eat up that shit,” you push against his chest and help yourself into the bathroom. 

it wasn’t as pretty as his bathroom, and you suddenly can’t remember seeing any other bathroom that’s as impressive as his. 

juyeon pouts a little, picking up his blazer from the ground and hanging it somewhere, a tad bit annoyed that you broke off the momentum just because you didn’t want him to ingest concealer. 

by the time you clean the concealer off, the collar rim of your dress was already wet and you’ve lost all the need to get it on with juyeon. you couldn’t help but to laugh while you watch him sit idly on the single seater chair, scrolling through his phone. 

“i’m sorry for ruining the moment,” you stroll over, gathering your gown material high enough for you to lift your leg over him and straddle his lap. 

“i’d be pissed, but i can’t if you were just worried about me swallowing your concealer, can i?” he grins, tracing the circumference of your waist with his arms. you expect him to kiss you and pick up the pace from there, but instead, he presses his head on your chest, ear against your cleavage. 

he’s never hugged you like this before, but the warmth his hold provides you naturally cues you to wrap your arms around his neck. you twirl his hair around your fingers, leaning your chin on the crown of his head. 

“can i tell you something, but you gotta swear not to tell anybody else?” you hear him say, the movement of his jaw pressing against your chest. 

you laugh, leaning backwards and brushing his fringe out of his forehead. “what, you killed someone?”

he scoffs, eyes halving into little crescents as he reaches up and tucks your hair behind your ear. 

“i told your mother that you were my fiance not because i wanted to hide the fact that your mother was the director, but because i wanted her approval.”

you feel the smile disappear off your lips, desperately trying to search his face for any hint of mischief that he was messing with you.

“...huh?” your mind was completely blank while your supposed law-abled brain feels like it’s being dragged across a minefield. juyeon’s eyes never leave yours, his hands now trailing along the edges of your ear and your jaw.

there was no hint of lust or need, and if you could see love, that was what you were looking at right now. 

“stay with me forever,” his hands leave your jaw and find your hands. “i know it’s been like two days since i asked you to be my girlfriend, but...”

he plants a kiss on the back of your hand. 

“i can’t pretend you’re not the best thing that’s happened to me.”

it’s another one of his speeches.

“just last friday, you saw through me, and the entire time after that prior to today, i simply saw you as a capable lawyer, and someone i needed to protect and keep close... but after finding out you are a chaebol...”

oh, no.

“i now know you are more of a person than i ever was. you had the guts and determination to run away from a life that most people would want, and you treat everything you see with care and caution. not to mention my house staff who consistently made fun of me the weekend for bringing home such a nice girl, as compared to my ‘cold’ complexity.”

the smile returns to your lips and you feel your heart melt into a puddle of goop. 

“you are the person i need in my life, and i don’t think i’ll be able to reach the version of myself i want without your help.”

you inhale sharply, hands reaching for his cheek and his hands follow yours. 

“can i tell you something too, but you promise not to tell anybody else?” you cock your head to the side, noticing him tilting his head into your palm and nodding. 

“you talk too much.”

a chuckle escapes his lips and it warms you to see him smile. he finds your lips and kisses you so slowly, so sensuously, that you don’t recognise it. 

“i love you.”

you feel tears collect in the corners of your eyes, and the words naturally roll off your tongue in response to his confession.

“i love you too.”

you feel him smile into the kiss, your heads tilted the opposite direction while he picks you up and walks over to the bed. your back hits the soft mattress, and he leans over you, arms supporting himself as the mattress around your head sinks. 

he starts kissing you again as his hand pulls up the gown, trying to find your skin. your fingers start fiddling with the buttons on his dress shirt, and you start undoing them slowly. 

his touch was so gentle and careful compared to the session in his bathroom, and you feel the love and affection he has for you ooze out through his fingertips and over your skin, the sensation causing your skin to crawl all over your body. 

you arch your back when his hands try to go under you in attempt to find the zipper of your dress, and he dips his nose into your collarbones and the remnants of his marks. 

you feel the wrap around your torso loosening, and he pushes it off your skin, exposing all the fading bruises that he left on you. 

he takes a second to admire his fading artwork, as if contemplating if he should make more. 

you finally get his dress shirt undone, and he lets you pull it off, exposing his arms and the veins that lined his skin. 

“you’re too hot for my own good, lee juyeon.”

his lips find the skin of your cleavage, sucking on a spot that wasn’t already painted. with one hand still supporting himself, his free hand gets rid of your gown and he tosses it aside, leaving you only in your lingerie. 

the sight of your bare skin and the marks on your chest and neck sends him over an edge, and he roughly lifts you from the mattress by the waist. you feel your head land on a pillow and he fits his hips between your knees, hands reaching to your back and undoing your bra. 

“also,” your words leave your lips sounding like a moan as he gets your bra off and begins sucking on your tip. “please don’t make me beg like the previous time. i haven’t really--” you arch your back at the sensation of his tongue around your sensitive tip while his left hand fondles with your other breast. 

“restored my pride yet--” 

you begin to mewl and whine under him, and your hands recklessly find his belt, mindlessly yanking on it just to get it loose.

“i liked it when you beg though, especially now that i know your last name is technically worth more than mine... there’s a kick to that,” he breathes against your skin before pulling backwards and sitting on his heels, undoing his belt between your knees. the angle gives you a perfect view of his toned body, and your feasted your eyes on the way his pants hugged his thighs while he leaned back. 

oh, good god, what a sight.

“so what if my last name is worth more than yours? i’m pretty sure you’ve earned more money for your family than i have anyway,” you wrap your arm over your chest, watching him get his pants off. the view of the contours of his hips dipping under his boxers creates butterflies in your stomach, and you wanted nothing more than for him to prove his love for you. 

“you really have no clue how that works,” he gives you a low chuckle, crawling back towards you and resting some of his body weight on your pelvis. his growing manhood was pressing against your inner thigh as he hungrily but gently tastes you, hands caressing your waist and fingers slipping under the only piece of clothing you had on. 

he leaves light kisses on your collarbone, chest and stomach, trailing his way south as his fingers drag your underwear off your hips. you feel the cold air hit your already wet core, and juyeon doesn’t bother to say anything to rile you up.

your voice comes out strained and it probably sounded like you were in pain when he presses his tongue flat against your heat. digging your fingers into the sheets, you feel his hands press down on your thighs to keep your legs apart. 

he fits a finger into you, then two, with his tongue circling around your sensitive nub. the sensation rids your head of any coherent thought, and you find yourself arching your back and your hips shivering against the mattress. 

he pulls away, sticking his fingers into his mouth and makes you watch. the sight doesn’t do much besides make you want him even more. your eyes find the tent on his groin, and it cues you to start tugging on the rim on his pelvis, desperately trying to get rid of the material.

he senses your urgency, and does it for you, giving you the perfect view of his length. you realise you haven’t actually seen it because the first time you slept with him, he fucked you from the back on his couch. the second time he was already buried inside you before he completely ruined you in his bathroom. 

seeing it for yourself with a clear mind ironically makes you lose all sense of thought. 

“that’s what you’re staring at... after you let me ruin you two times over?” his low voice rumbles into your neck, and his hands find yours to interlock your fingers. 

“i’d spend all my free time staring at you if i could,” a moan runs out of your throat when you feel him right at the entrance of your core. you feel his weight pressing into your palms on the mattress on either side of your head. 

“gladly,” he smiles into your skin. he looks up back at you with soft eyes, and the lack of lust surprises you. 

he’s not going to ruin you today.

he was going to show you that he loved you.

you feel him push into you, and your voice disappears as you look up at the ceiling. he finds your lips and starts making out with you like high school lovers, hands on your hips and fingers digging into your skin as he thrusts into you. 

they weren’t harsh like you remembered them to be, and the thought of him making love to you created butterflies in your stomach. the heat inside you intensifies with each gentle thrust, and you hear his breathing start to become irregular by your ear. 

you eyes were closed, mouth held open as he keeps your hands pinned to the bed, and your legs wrapped around his waist, trying to push him deeper and deeper inside you. 

the room starts to fill with louder and harder breaths, every now and then a moan escapes from your lips that he seals with a kiss. 

you hear his breathing halt for a split second just as he thrusts into you, and you feel something inside start to snap as well.

“juyeon, i’m gonna--”

“me too--” he groans into your ear, his pace picking up as the both of you mindlessly chase your high. “can i--”

“do it.”

he lifts himself to look at you in the eye for a moment, his hips not showing any signs of slowing down. 

“do it, juyeon.”

your approval gives him one last push, and you feel him all over your walls inside you. your wetness mixed with his as you huff and pant, your vision turned white while your body goes into a spasm. 

his grunts and growls help you ride out your high, his thrusts losing power and pace as he rides out his. 

finding your lips, he releases his hold on your hands and dig his fingers into your hair behind your ear. he holds your face as he lets himself finish inside you, and you could feel the load slowly seeping out of you and around his length. 

he presses his forehead on you, your pants hitting each other in your faces and a smile appears on his lips. 

“how’s that for a no-begging session?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

your eyes flutter open as the sleepy realisation that you didn’t jerk awake enters your mind. light was shining into the room, but it was raining outside and the soft pitter-patter of the rain drops encourage you not to freak out and wonder about the time.

it shouldn’t have mattered, but the rain does affect your decision. 

the blanket was pulled all the way up to your collarbone, and you feel your breasts against the soft material. you subtly shift your leg, and you realise you were only in your underwear. 

juyeon had helped you clean up and you spent nearly an hour with him in the bathtub, doing nothing but eat each other’s faces without having anymore sex. 

three times in five days was a little excessive. 

the only clothes the both of you had were your formal wear from the night before, so it wasn’t a curious case why the both of you were nearly fully naked and pressed against each other. 

you notice the weight of his arm on your waist over the blanket, so you turn carefully, trying not to wake him. 

your eyes trail along his forearm, up to his biceps and his shoulder. his chest disappears under the blanket, and you couldn’t resist the urge to brush your thumb over his cheekbone. 

the thought of his mother knowing how often her son was having sex with someone he wasn’t even married to tickles a funny bone in you, and there was nothing that could stop you from feeling the pride and glory when you remember you were, by blood, a chaebol of a higher rank than him.

even if this love wasn’t real, you could’ve ordered him to be your fiance and they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.

but because this is real, you didn’t want your relationship with him to be decided based on your family backgrounds. 

you could only picture how confused she would be if the two of you got married before she found out you were a chaebol. 

maybe then she’d believe your feelings for juyeon were true. 

she’d find some excuse and say she was worried you were some ‘normal’ girl digging for his wealth. she’d probably apologise, even. but the thought of it sickens you. 

why should it matter if you were a chaebol or not? it’s not like you identified as one. in fact, you were so good at hiding who you really were, even juyeon didn’t know until you told him. 

your thoughts come to screeching stop when you notice juyeon’s eyes shift under his lids. he sucks in a deep breath, smacking his lips and turning his head a little. 

his eyes finally open and meet yours, his hand going under the blanket and snaking around your bare waist to pull you in. 

“good morning, my love.”

Part 8: I Like Me Better

[ohmyjinsus]

kissing by the book

yeo one (changgu) x female! reader 

high school! au (non idol) || 8.8k (I went a little crazy whoops) 

super fluffy + some suggestive themes I guess (basically changgu in something rotten has ruined my life and I felt the need to write about it) (like,,, look at him!!) 

summary: you’ve been happily crushing on changgu from a distance for the past year, but when you get cast as romeo and juliet in your school’s spring play, it suddenly hits you how much you actually like him - oh, and you have to kiss him multiple times, so that’s fun too 

You can’t stop staring at the clock. The cast list is being released today, but you have no idea when. You checked outside the drama room as soon as you got to school, then again at lunch, but there was nothing. Now you’re dying for the bell to ring so you can check again. 

Finally, you’re free to leave your stupid last period chemistry class. You grab your bag, and run out of the room without saying bye to your friends. It takes less than 2 minutes to run across the parking lot to the other building. When you get there, no one else is around. Thank god. 

You hold your breath as you walk up to the drama room door. Your name better be at the top or else you’ll start a riot. You’ve spent the last 3 years playing supporting roles (some of them being male roles as well). This is your senior year, and if you’re not the female lead after all of this, you’ll be absolutely crushed. 

The list is there. You immediately scan it for your name, ignoring everyone else. You find yourself on the second row, cast as Juliet. All your friends’ names are there too, cast as side characters. When you finally look at the first row, your heart almost stops. 

Romeo........................... Yeo Changgu 

===

You met Changgu at some point last year, when your school did Twelfth Night. Technically, you knew him before, as you’re the same age, and he’s been in some of your classes, but you’d never actually spoken to him. He’d never taken a drama class, and he’d never been to a drama club meeting, so it seemed odd that he’d been cast as Sebastian.  

After a few weeks of rehearsal, you understood why. In addition to being a great actor, he was extremely friendly. He worked insanely hard to memorize his lines and was off book earlier than everyone else. Like you, he showed up to rehearsal 10 minutes early whenever possible. 

When you realized this, you started showing up later so you could avoid him. Although he was nice, he made you incredibly nervous. At first you thought it was because he was popular, but you soon came to realize it was because your idiotic self had a crush on him. Every interaction involved you forgetting how to speak. It’s like you lost all your brain cells every time you were in his presence. To be fair, you didn’t have many to begin with. 

Plus, everyone knows you should never date a cast mate. Not that you’d date him. Because he’d never be into you, right? 

===

“Wait, y/n, does that mean you have to kiss him?” 

“Oh my god, please stop.” You’re in your room, on FaceTime with your best friend. You haven’t even thought about that. You’re too concerned about having to speak to Changgu, never mind touching him- that’s too much for you to handle. 

“I’m just saying,” your friend takes a sip of her bubble tea, “remember the play y’all did 2 years ago where there was a kiss?” You were shocked the two students playing the leads agreed to actually do it, but then again, you’ve never kissed anyone, so what do you know? 

“I’m sure there are ways to fake it, or we can avoid it somehow.” You prop your phone up on your desk so you can go find your copy of Romeo and Juliet and look for any potential make out scenes.

“...... do you want to avoid it?” 

“No,” you say without thinking. 

“I knew you still had a crush on him. I should have joined drama club so I could see this all play out.” You roll your eyes and grab the book off your shelf. “I see the way you look at him.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” 

You friend puts her hand under her chin and stares off into the distance, imitating you. “Oh Changgu-”

“I’m gonna hang up on you,” you tell her, picking up your phone again. 

“Wait no!” You end the call, but text her right away, saying your mum called you down for dinner. It’s a lie, but a believable one. You just need a minute to yourself to think about this. 

It’s really not a big deal. A kiss is just a kiss. There’s a possibility Changgu might not even want to kiss you in the first place. You wouldn’t blame him. There’s no point in getting worked up about it just yet. 

But still, you flip through your copy of the play, flagging down all the potential kiss scenes. When you’re about halfway through, your phone lights up. You’ve got a new email from your director. 

Your first script reading is at the end of this week, which is good with you. That gives you enough time to read the play again and start thinking about your character. 

Then your phone lights up again. It’s another email from your director, but it’s only addressed to two people. 

Hey y/n and Changgu, 

Congrats on being cast as our leads this semester! I have no doubt you’ll both do amazing. 

As you probably already know, there are some kiss scenes in the play. I thought it might be a good idea for the three of us to meet before the script reading to talk about how that will play out. 

Ultimately, it’s up to the two of you, so discuss amongst yourselves and then tell me what you think on Friday. 

===

Your goal for the next 24 hours is to avoid Changgu and Changgu-related thoughts. You’re not going to look for him to initiate any kind of kissing conversation. He can come to you whenever he wants. 

Which happens to be as soon as you get to school the next day. You didn’t expect to see him so early in the morning. The only class you have together is chem so you assumed he would talk to you then, if at all. 

“Hey y/n,” he calls from down the hall. You try to smile like a normal person, not someone who was thinking about making out with him all night. 

“Hey,” you say awkwardly. You try to focus on stuffing your textbooks into your backpack so you don’t have to make eye contact. “What’s up?” 

“Oh,” he smiles, “I just wanted to talk to you about the play.” It might just be your imagination, but he seems as nervous as you. 

“Right, congrats on getting the lead role,” you say. “You deserve it.” 

“Same to you,” he replies. “It’s about time you were recognized for your talent.” Your brain goes blank for a second. You can’t believe he’s complimenting you. You shake the thought out of your head but you’re pretty sure you’re blushing. 

“I appreciate that.” 

“So.....” You let him trail off, praying he’ll bring it up so you don’t have to. “About the email we got yesterday....” He looks so stressed out. You bite the bullet and say it yourself. 

“The potential kissing thing.” 

“Yes!” You frown at him. He seemed way too enthusiastic about that. “I mean, yes, the kiss thing, what are your thoughts on it?” 

You take a second to think about it, because you don’t want to seem too eager. But god, for some reason he chooses this exact moment to run a hand through his hair and your poor fragile heart can’t handle that. 

“Yes.” It’s his turn to frown. He looks so adorable when he’s confused. He looks adorable all the time. You’re crushing on him way too hard. 

“Yes as in....?” 

“Yes, I’ll kiss you.” 

“Oh.” He seems shocked. 

“I mean, unless you don’t want to kiss me, which is totally valid, I completely understand, I won’t be offended.” 

He just smiles. “I’m cool with kissing you too.” 

“Right, okay, cool, awesome, great.” Your awkwardness makes him laugh, which makes you feel a little bit better. 

“Do you want me to reply to that email?” He asks. You nod. 

“I’m not good at forming coherent sentences, so I think that’s probably a good idea.” You pick up your backpack. “Good talk.” 

“Are you headed to north?” He asks. “I’ve got English over there, I can walk with you.” 

“Oh.” You try to act like you’re not internally screaming. “Yeah, sure, of course.” You start to walk towards the stairs, and he follows you. 

“You don’t have to be so nervous around me, y/n, it’s not like I’m about to make out with you right now.” You almost trip. “I’m just messing with you,” he says immediately, reaching out a hand to steady you. 

“You better be,” you tell him, but you’re smiling. 

“This is gonna be a fun semester,” is all he says in return. 

===

The meeting with your director only lasts 10 minutes. Changgu’s email was pretty clear, so the two of you don’t have much to say. Your director’s quite shocked you both agreed to kiss for real. 

“We talked about it a couple days ago, so we’re all good.” You nod, agreeing with Changgu. You’re glad he’s taken the lead in this conversation.

“Are you sure?” Your director asks. “Last year one of my students said no because she didn’t want her first kiss to be a stage kiss. If that’s how you feel, you can totally say no.” 

You know she’s talking to both of you, but she’s only looking at you. You wish you could sink into the floor. 

“If either of us change our mind, we’ll talk about it and let you know,” Changgu replies. If you were on your own right now, you’d probably cry out of embarrassment. 

But thanks to Changgu, everything is fine. As far as you’re concerned, he doesn’t know you’re a 17 year old loser who hasn’t had her first kiss yet. That’s a win in your books. 

“Alright,” is all she says. The two of you are dismissed and you immediately run out into the hallway. Changgu’s close behind.

“You good?” 

“Yeah,” you lie. 

Thankfully, he changes the subject. You talk about your chemistry class for a while, as you have a test coming up. There’s a practice question he got stuck on, so he asks for your opinion. The two of you sit outside the drama room comparing notes until everyone else shows up. 

The next 3 weeks are all about blocking and memorizing lines. Midterms are soon, so everyone is just struggling to get by. Your director doesn’t mention anything about your solo scenes with Changgu. You assume she knows you two are her best actors so she’s not worried. Hopefully she’ll leave it till the last minute so you don’t have to think about it. 

As for your relationship with Changgu, you’re much more comfortable around him. The first time you do the party scene and have to waltz with him, you’re incredibly anxious. It turns out Changgu has never waltzed before, so you have to walk him through the steps. Your nervousness fades as you both focus on getting the dance right. When you finally do, he’s so happy, it’s adorable. 

After that, you start talking to him more. Because you’re the leads, you’re closer with him than anyone else on the cast. You would call him your friend, but you still have that stupid crush on him. You try to forget about it, but the two of you are spending so much time together. If you’re not acting, you’re helping with other drama related things, like painting sets and finding props. 

On one of these days, you’re talking to Changgu about prom. It’s all anyone in your grade is talking about right now. Neither of you have decided if you’re going, even though all your friends are. You’re talking about how expensive the tickets are, when you notice one of your cast mates watching you from a distance. You keep talking to Changgu for a while, before heading off to check your phone. 

She walks over to you while you’re texting your mum. 

“I saw you and Changgu talking.....” she says awkwardly. You look up and smile. You have no idea where she’s going with this. “Are you two a thing?” 

You frown. “Um no, why do you ask?” 

“It just seems like you’re really close,” she says. You put your phone away and grab your water bottle. She follows you as you walk back over to Changgu. He’s getting paint to work on one of the backdrops. 

“We’re just friends,” you tell her. You know you probably don’t have a chance when it comes to Changgu. If someone else wants to go after him, you won’t stop them. He’s not yours. 

“Who’s just friends?” He asks when he sees the two of you walking over. You freeze for a second.

“You and y/n,” your cast mate says. You watch Changgu’s face to see if he’ll have any kind of reaction. He doesn’t.

“Oh, I thought that was common knowledge.” You smirk. 

“I was just wondering,” your cast mate shrugs. “You two have chemistry.” 

“Fifth period,” you respond awkwardly. She gives you a blank stare but Changgu laughs. You’re thankful he understands your stupid sense of humour. 

“Right, I’m gonna go help with props.” Once she’s gone, you take a few sips of your water, not sure what to say now that you and Changgu are alone. 

“Do people actually think we’re a couple now?” You keep drinking. “I guess we’re just really good actors.” 

“Haha, yeah.” You put your water bottle down and reach for one of the paints. He hands it to you and your hands brush for a second. You jump a little but he just smiles. It’s so annoying he has this effect on you. You’re probably going to forget all your lines after he kisses you. The entire play’s going to fall apart because you’re lowkey falling in love with him. 

“I meant to ask you,” Changgu says, breaking your thoughts. “We should run lines together.” 

“Don’t we?” During chem sometimes, you’ll sit in the back with him, helping him memorize some of them. It’s easier for him than doing it alone. That’s what he says, anyway. 

“I mean we should focus on the scenes between just me and you.” That shocks you. “We don’t have to, I just thought it might be a good idea since we’ll have to start blocking those soon.” He has a point. So far, your director’s only worked on group scenes.

“Yeah, sure,” you tell him. “That makes sense.” It’s just like rehearsal, you tell yourself. It’ll just be you two. Alone. 

“Are you free tomorrow? You have 4th period lunch, right?” You nod. “I can meet you outside north and we can sit on the bleachers. It should be quieter out there.” 

“Sure, that’s fine.” You don’t really know what to say. It’s just lunch with Changgu. It’s not a date or anything. It’s purely business, nothing else. That’s what you keep telling yourself. 

You really wish it was something else though. 

===

Changgu: I’m going to run to McDonald’s before we meet up

Changgu: can I get you anything? 😃

You try to discreetly reply to him under your desk. You’re not supposed to be on your phone during data management, but when you saw it light up you had to check. 

y/n: if you could get me an iced coffee, I’ll love you forever 🥺

The second after you send it, you realize what you’ve said. Hopefully he won’t think anything of it. You put your phone down and try to focus on your textbook, but it buzzes again. 

Changgu: anything for my juliet 😌

Changgu: do you want any food? 

This boy is going to ruin your life. You’re sure you’re blushing now, but no one’s paying attention to you, thank god. 

y/n: I’m good but I appreciate your kind offer 

Changgu: if you say so 

Changgu: you can always have some of my fries if you change your mind 

“Aw,” you say out loud. Your best friend, sitting next to you, gives you a weird look, but you ignore her. 

Changgu: I’ll see you in like half an hour 

You send him a thumbs up emoji and put your phone face down on your desk. No Changgu thoughts for the rest of this period. 

When class is over, your best friend asks if you’ll have lunch with her. You lie and say you have some English homework to work on in the library. Thankfully she doesn’t question you. You’ll tell her about what happens with Changgu afterwards anyway. You don’t want to make a big deal of it just yet. 

When you get to the bleachers, Changgu’s already there, script in hand. He’s got two iced coffees next to him. He hands you one when you sit down.

“Thank you,” you chug about half of it. “I needed that.” 

“Clearly.” He takes a sip of his own drink. “How was your morning?” He offers you some fries, so you take a handful. 

“It was okay,” you tell him. You’re confused as to why he’s making conversation with you. Your lunch break is only 45 minutes long. You figured he’d just want to rehearse for a while and leave. You won’t complain if he wants to spend all his time with you, you’re just shocked. “How about you?” 

“Not too bad.” He hands his script to you. “I think I finally have the last monologue memorized.” 

“Let’s hear it then.” You grab a pen out of your backpack. 

“Are you gonna take notes?” You nod. 

“Don’t you want feedback?” 

“Of course,” he says. “You’re just making me nervous.” You laugh at the irony. 

“You’ll be fine,” you reassure him. “Go on.” 

He runs a hand through his hair and you temporarily lose your focus. When he starts talking, you’re snapped back to reality. 

You underline some parts where he should slow down, and star some areas where he needs to work on facial expressions. About halfway through, you put your pen down and just listen to him. 

When he notices, he stops. “What happened? Was I that bad?” You shake your head. 

“You’re doing great,” you say. “I just like watching you.” He blushes at that. 

You read him the last line he did, and he keeps going. He really is a good actor. You already knew that, but sitting here, just the two of you, makes you appreciate his talent even more. 

When he gets to the end, he picks up his iced coffee, pretending it’s poison. “Here’s to my love,” he says, taking a sip. You can’t help but laugh. He breaks character and laughs with you. “What are your thoughts?” 

“That last bit was amazing, please do that during the real thing.” You glance down at the script and your notes. As you scan the page, you realize he left out the last two lines. Thus with a kiss I die is where your eyes land. 

“y/n?” You look back up at him and smile. 

“Sorry.” You go through all your comments, making sure to praise him at certain parts too. When his eyes light up, you start to feel nervous again. That monologue was just a reminder that you’ll have to kiss him soon, and that thought alone gives you so much anxiety. 

“Your turn,” he says, taking the script from you. “Wait, where’s your copy?” 

“Lemme get it.” You open your bag but you can’t stop thinking about the kiss. Once you get the script, you sit back up and face him. He reaches for it but you don’t hand it to him. 

“What?” You hesitate for a second. You could just keep running lines with him and try to forget about it. Or you could tell him what’s on your mind so you don’t have to keep worrying about what he’s going to say. “y/n, what’s wrong?” 

“Can I tell you something?” 

“Anything.” You look into his eyes and he looks so genuinely concerned. Up until now you thought this was just a crush, but in this moment, you’re convinced you’re going to fall in love with him. 

You take a deep breath and close your eyes. 

“I’ve never kissed anyone before.” You’re scared to look at him. He probably thinks you’re a complete loser. When you open your eyes, he doesn’t look disgusted, which is a good start. 

“Okay.” You frown. “What’s wrong with that?” If he was anyone else, you would think they’re teasing you, but you can tell he genuinely doesn’t mind. 

“I just thought it might be weird.” 

“It’s not weird.” He finishes his iced coffee and puts the empty cup next to his backpack. “I’m just surprised you’re cool with me being your first kiss.” 

“Are you joking?” You say without thinking. He looks confused now. Surely he knows you have a crush on him. “You’re so nice, and talented, and thoughtful, and cute, and I’m just really glad to have you as a....“ You hesitate for a second, not sure if you should call him your friend. He doesn’t wait for you to finish your sentence. 

“You think I’m cute?” He’s smiling at you. 

“Shut up.” You go to hit him with your script, but he grabs your hand before you can.

“I have an idea.” 

“I’m sorry, what?” It’s your turn to be confused now. 

“Do you want your first kiss to be a stage kiss?” He asks. 

“I already told you, I don’t really mind.” 

“No,” he says. “I mean, do you want it to be us in front of the entire cast kissing for the first time during rehearsal?” 

“What other option is there?” 

“I could kiss you now.” You pull your hand away from him. “I’m being serious y/n.” You take a sip of your iced coffee so you can think for a second. “You said you want your first kiss to be me, right?” 

“Want isn’t the word I would use but yes, okay.” He smiles at that. 

“And we’re going to have to kiss each other quite a lot, yes?” 

“Probably.” You’re blushing at this point. You suddenly become aware of how little space there is between the two of you. It would be so easy for him to just lean in- 

“So why not get the first time over with?” You gasp, which makes him laugh. “I just mean.....” he trails off. 

“You just mean what, Changgu?” You know he’s being considerate and genuine, but there’s still a small part of you that thinks he might be messing with you. 

“Can I kiss you?” 

You swear your heart almost stops, but you nod anyway, leaning into him. He meets you halfway, and you close your eyes. You’re expecting a split second peck, but he gently presses his lips to yours. It’s clear he doesn’t want to push your boundaries. When you part your lips slightly, he deepens the kiss. That catches you off guard. He must sense it, because he pulls away. 

“Was that okay?” He whispers. You can’t stop yourself from grinning. You wish you could kiss him again, right now. 

“It was more than okay.” He laughs and kisses your cheek. That surprises you. 

“Sorry,” he says. “You’re just really cute.” 

“What?” Your eyes go wide. He’s definitely blushing now. This boy just kissed you, on the bleachers, in broad daylight, without second thought. But he’s blushing because he said you’re cute. 

He ignores you and glances at his phone. “We have 5 minutes before chem, should we head over?” 

“What is happening?” You say quietly. He smirks and puts his script back into his bag. You just sit and watch in shock. 

He thinks you’re cute. Yeo Changgu thinks you’re cute. And he kissed you. What the hell? 

“Let’s go.” He hands you your pen from earlier. 

“Right.” You take it from him and throw it in your bag. You don’t know how you manage to stand up and follow him to class, but somehow, you do. 

When you get to your class, he sits with his friends and you find yours. They ask how your lunch break was and where you got off to. You tell them the same lie from earlier. 

You can’t stop thinking about Changgu for the rest of the day. You were into him to begin with, but now you’ve definitely fallen. You really hope it’s the same for him. 

===

“He kissed you?” You were afraid your best friend would be mad at you for not telling her about your lunch date earlier, but she’s just as confused as you. You called her the second you got home so you two could figure out what the hell Changgu’s thinking. 

“Twice.” 

“Oh my god y/n, he definitely likes you.” 

“What?” You suspect it too, but it’s nice to know she has the same idea. 

“He literally asked if he could kiss you, obviously he wanted to.” 

“Perhaps you have a point...” You avoid looking at her. “He sent me a text a little while ago.” 

“What does it say?” 

“I’ll send you a screenshot.” You put the call on hold for a second so you can go to your messages. Your response was kind of lame, and you know she’ll call you out on it, but you send her the picture anyway. 

“y/n,” your friend says as soon as you resume the call. “Let me know when you want to rehearse our scenes again, smiley face.” 

“He’s just being nice.” 

“No he’s not, he’s looking for an excuse to be alone with you again.” 

“You honestly think he likes me?” You ask quietly. 

“I do.” She looks at the screenshot again. “He was clearly flirting with you earlier as well, anything for my juliet, I get why you’re so into him.” 

You roll your eyes. “I really, really like him,” you tell her. “I don’t want to mess this up.” 

“Keep doing whatever you’re doing, cause it seems like he’s into it,“ she says. “But you have to make a move at some point.” 

“Easier said than done.” 

“Don’t be such a wimp.” She says. “You’ve liked him for how long? And we’re graduating soon anyway, if he rejects you, you don’t have to see him again.” 

“True,” you say, “but I’m not asking him out anytime soon.” 

“Let me know how that works out for you.” You roll your eyes, but you’re grateful she’s willing to give you advice. If you didn’t have her you’d be googling things like how to get someone to fall in love with you, which would just be sad. 

You can do this, you tell yourself. Changgu obviously likes you to some extent, all you have to do is make him fall for you and then you’ll be set. You’ve got this. 

===

It’s 2 weeks until opening night, and you and Changgu are doing amazing. Since your kiss on the bleachers, you’ve stopped avoiding him all the time. In fact, you’d say you initiate about half of your conversations with him now.

He seems down in rehearsal one day, so you text him when you get home, to make sure everything is okay. He admits he’s not totally confident in his acting skills, especially compared to you. That surprises you, but you tell him that you sometimes feel the same way, but it’s not something to be too worried about. You remind him you’re in this together, which makes him feel significantly better. Before you know it, it’s 3am and you’re both still talking to each other. This becomes your new normal.  

You’re seeing Changgu in chem and during rehearsal, but you spend your time coming home thinking about what you could say to him next. Normally by the time you think of something, you already have a message from him. He understands your sense of humour, and before you know it, the two of you have tons of inside jokes. Even if you can’t think of something to say, you’re able to find the perfect meme to send him instead. Your crush on him has grown exponentially in the month and a half you’ve been in this play together. You feel like it might be the same for him. 

It seems like other people are picking up on it too. The first time Changgu kisses you in front of everyone, they’re shocked with how comfortable you are with each other. Someone jokes that this probably isn’t the first time you’ve kissed but you both laugh awkwardly and change the subject. 

Originally, your director had quite a few kissing scenes, but she decides it’s overkill after a couple of run throughs. 

“This is too steamy for Shakespeare,” she tells you one day. 

“We’re not making out,” you say, trying not to blush. You and Changgu have probably kissed onstage over 100 times, but it still makes you feel a certain way if you think about it for too long. 

“I can feel the passion between the two of you, you may as well be.” You make a shocked face at Changgu, who’s standing a couple metres away, also listening to this conversation. That makes him laugh. 

“If you say so.” 

She changes some of the scenes to Changgu kissing your hand, or you holding his, just to make it less affectionate. She’s constantly reminding you Romeo and Juliet were children, which makes you both cringe. 

You thought your favourite scene would be the one where Romeo and Juliet first meet, but it’s not. You prefer the second act, where Romeo monologues and you sit outside on the balcony. It gives you the wonderful opportunity to sit and listen to Changgu speak. Even if he is acting, you feel like there’s some sort of truth in his words. You got so distracted during the first full run through that you forgot your lines. Someone offstage had to prompt you, which was insanely embarrassing. Thankfully Changgu wasn’t phased, he just went back and started his monologue again. You made an active effort to focus this time, and you were okay after that. 

Although Changgu has his lines down perfectly, he still asks you to run them with him during chemistry since the two of you are always done your coursework so early. You’re starting to think your best friend might be right, and that he does just want to spend time with you. After rehearsal one day, you decide to shoot your shot. 

“Changgu,” you say, walking over to where he’s putting some props away backstage. “Do you wanna maybe meet up tomorrow and we can like, work on lines or blocking or waltzing or all of the above or something.” It all comes out in a jumbled mess because you’re speaking so fast. You should’ve texted him and asked instead of doing it in person. 

“I’m gonna need you to say that again,” he says, with a smile on his face. You take a deep breath. 

“I was asking if you want to run lines again tomorrow,” you look into his eyes. “Just me and you.” 

You might be imagining it, but it seems like he’s flustered. “Oh, yeah, sure.” 

“We don’t have to-”

“No, I want to.” Your heart rate’s definitely gone up now. “Bleachers?” 

You shake your head. “Come here,” you gesture around you. “It’ll be empty at lunch.” 

“Sure,” he says, glancing at his phone. His smile fades. “I’m so sorry, I gotta go, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” 

“For sure,” you say. “See you then.” 

===

You get to the theatre before Changgu the next day, which makes you panic for a second. He’s not the kind of guy who would ditch you like that, but you’re still scared. Until you check your phone and see a message saying he’s running a little late. 

You take the opportunity to practice some of your monologues alone. You know your lines and you can do them fine when you’re with the rest of the cast, but for some reason, when you’re on your own, your flow gets so messed up. You pace around the stage, saying your lines to yourself, practicing your intonation. Your hand’s moving up and down as you figure out the rise and fall of each sentence. 

You’re so caught up in yourself that you’re startled when you notice Changgu sitting in the front row, eating candy. 

“Jesus Christ,” you say, jumping off the stage. “How long have you been here?” 

“Only a couple of minutes,” he reaches into his bag and pulls out a box of Smarties. You take it from him. 

“Let’s go,” you say, after you pop a couple in your mouth. You keep eating them as you walk up the stairs to the stage. 

Once you’re both onstage, you run through your major scenes together. You skip over the monologues because you only have about 20 minutes before chemistry. 

When Changgu goes in for the kiss during the party scene, you turn your head so he winds up kissing your cheek instead. 

“What was that for?” He asks, breaking character. You point at the clock on the wall. 

“5 minutes till class.” You head over to the stairs at the side of the stage so you can get your backpack, but Changgu grabs your hand.

“Wait.” You turn around and hold his gaze. “Skip chem and stay here.” You’ve held his hand so many times over the past month, you interlock your fingers without second thought. It’s just a habit at this point. 

“What?” You’re surprised he’s willing to skip class just to stay with you a little longer. You’re more than happy to, but you just need a moment for this to sink in. 

“We don’t have a test, we aren’t going to miss anything important,” he says. “Even if we do, we’re the smartest people in that class, we’ll be fine.” 

“You’re not wrong.” 

“So stay with me a little bit longer.” You nod, because you don’t trust yourself to form a coherent sentence right now. 

You follow him to the centre of the stage, where he just sits down on the floor. You don’t question it and sit down next to him, facing the empty auditorium. You can’t believe this is your last time performing on this stage. 

“What are you thinking about?” Changgu asks. He’s still holding your hand, and he kisses the back of it. You’re so thrown off by how affectionate he’s being right now. But you aren’t complaining. “You seem like you’re deep in thought.” 

“I just can’t believe this is my last show here,” you reply. “I’ve spent four years on this stage, it feels weird having to leave.” 

“You’re going out on a good note,” he says. You nod in agreement. 

“I’m excited,” you tell him. “Opening night is always fun.” 

“Is it?” He doesn’t seem too sure. “I find it more nerve wracking than anything.” 

You gasp. “Don’t tell me Yeo Changgu gets stage fright.” 

“I don’t,” he says immediately. “I just don’t want to disappoint anyone, you know?” 

“You don’t, and you won’t.” You bump your shoulder against his. “Everyone loves you.” 

“Do you love me?” You can’t tell if he’s joking. You decide to answer honestly. 

“I definitely like you, if that counts for anything.” 

“It counts for a lot.” He pulls his hand away from yours and you let out a small gasp, sad he’s moving away. He laughs at that but turns around. When Changgu lies down with his head in your lap, you’re even more caught off guard. You don’t know what he’s playing at anymore, but this almost feels natural for the two of you. You’re not uncomfortable, just surprised. 

“Is this okay?” He asks. When you say yes, he smiles. “So tell me more y/n, what’s this about liking me?” 

You roll your eyes. “I wish I never said anything.” 

“No, you don’t.” You look down at him. You’re about 80% sure he likes you back. All the late night texts, and inside jokes, and the way he’s looking at you right now makes it seem like he does anyway. 

“No, I don’t.” 

“Good.” 

“Is it?” You frown. 

“Yeah,” he says. “Cause I like you too.” 

“Don’t play with me.” 

“I’m not!” He says right away. “I swear I’m being serious.” He seems genuinely concerned that you don’t believe him, which is incredibly cute. 

“Tell me more then, when did you know?” 

“Second rehearsal, I think. I mean I’ve kind of liked you since Twelfth Night, but recently I’ve been like really crushing on you.” You’re surprised at how quickly he answers. “Right before second rehearsal, you were just outside here, running lines like you were earlier today.” 

“What’s so special about that?” You absentmindedly start playing with his hair, which makes him jump. You move your hand away as quickly as possible. 

“No, it’s okay,” he says quietly. You run your fingers through his hair again, slowly this time. The sigh he lets out has your mind wandering to dangerous places. 

“Anyway,” he breaks your thoughts. “You know that thing you do with your hand, while you’re speaking, to try and get the flow of your speech right?” 

“Uh, yeah.” You don’t know where he’s going with this. 

“You kind of look like you’re conducting an orchestra or something.” You still don’t understand what about that makes him like you. When you look down and make eye contact with him again, he’s smiling up at you in such a cute way that you have to look away immediately. You’re scared you might do something dumb, like kiss him. Which wouldn’t really work in this scenario anyway since you’d have to bend down weirdly, it’s just not worth it. You keep playing with his hair instead. “And when you get a line wrong, you don’t get flustered the way I do. You just laugh and move on.” 

“Well, yeah,” you shrug, “what’s the point in getting upset?” 

“I wish I had that sort of mindset. Do you know how great you are, y/n?” You can’t help blushing at that. “And you’re ridiculously cute.” 

“Says you,” you mutter. He sits up and turns around so he can face you. “What are you doing?” He’s so close to you, it makes you slightly anxious. 

“I just want to look at you,” he says. His eyes are completely focused on yours but you’re not scared. You just don’t know what to say. So naturally you wind up saying something stupid. 

“Shut up.” He doesn’t even blink.

“Make me.” 

You know he wants to kiss you, and you definitely want to kiss him, but you’re still hesitant. You lean into him slightly, letting him make the next move. He gives you a quick kiss and then pulls away. But then he does it again, and again. You keep waiting for him to kiss you properly, but he won’t stop teasing you. 

“Changgu,” you whine after he pulls away for the 5th time. 

“What?” He laughs. You grab the collar of his shirt and pull him closer to you. He’s surprised at first, but then his arm’s around you and you melt into his touch. 

You give him a light kiss, and finally, he gives you want you want. His other hand makes its way into your hair to hold you in place as he deepens the kiss. Your heart is pounding out of your chest as he places kisses along your jaw and down your neck. You can’t help but let out a small moan. He pulls back for a second, looking shocked. 

“Sorry,” you say awkwardly. He smirks. 

“Don’t be sorry,” he whispers. When he kisses you again, you smile. 

You have no idea how much time has gone by when you two finally separate. He rests his forehead against yours, while you try to slow your heart rate down. This boy’s going to be the death of you. 

“Was that okay?” He asks, quietly. He sounds a little scared, like he doesn’t want to push you too far. You appreciate that more than he could know. 

“So good,” you murmur, opening your eyes. You give him another quick kiss before you sit back, putting some space between the two of you. Otherwise, you won’t let go of him. He doesn’t seem to care, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer the second you move away. 

“Thank god,” he says. You take his hand and place it flat against your chest so he can feel how fast your heart is beating. 

“You’re not good for my health,” you tell him. He just smiles and moves your hand to his chest. His heart’s beating just as fast as yours. 

“The feeling’s mutual.” You laugh at that. 

“You have to be careful though,” you tell him, “you can’t start kissing me like that onstage. I’ll forget all my lines.” 

He smirks. “Don’t worry, I’ll save it for when we’re alone.” Your jaw drops. “Do I really make you that flustered?” You nod, as his hand finds it’s way into your hair again. 

“It’s not my fault,” you reply, avoiding eye contact, “you’re the one who doesn’t kiss by the book, Romeo.” 

“I’m not Romeo right now,” he says, quietly, turning your head to look at him. “I’m Changgu, and I’m absolutely crazy about you.” 

“I feel like this is fever dream.” He laughs at that. 

“Why?” 

“I like you so, so, so much,” you tell him. “I have for a long time.” 

“Sorry it took me so long to clue in.” 

“Damn right, you should be sorry.” You both laugh at that. 

Suddenly, the bell rings and you jump away from each other. When you glance at the clock, you notice it’s only 5 more minutes until rehearsal starts. 

“We need to get ourselves together,” you say, getting up. You pull Changgu up with you and head towards your backpacks. 

“Don’t you think you should let go of my hand?” He asks. You let go of him immediately, not sure what that means. “I just don’t want to be awkward in front of other people.” He says, running a hand through his hair. You just nod because he kind of has a point. You can’t think about it too much right now, you need to focus on the play. 

While you’re getting your script out and fixing your hair, everyone else shows up. You all go through the play start to finish one time, and it’s close to perfect. When you’re finished, everyone sits in a circle onstage. You wind up next to Changgu, of course. 

Your director gives out notes while you try to forget you were making out with him in the same spot just a while ago. You nervously fidget with your hair, which winds up in you accidentally touching your neck, and then you start thinking about Changgu’s lips there-

“y/n,” his voice says from next to you. Your eyes snap open, you hadn’t even realized you closed them. 

“What?” You give him a dirty look. Does he know you got distracted because of him? 

“Did you hear that?” He points to your director, who’s looking at you expectantly, just like everyone else in your cast. You try hard not to blush. 

“Sorry, could you repeat that?” You punch Changgu in the arm, which just makes him roll his eyes. Your director notices, but she doesn’t say anything. 

Once you’re done with that, the entire cast gets lectured on how the next week’s going to go down. All of you are insanely tired already, you’re scared as to what you’ll be like in a couple of days. 

When you glance beside you, you notice Changgu yawning. He was taking notes but it seems like he’s given up at this point, throwing his pen and script to the side. You move closer to him, and take them both so you can keep up with everything your director’s saying. You don’t want either of you to miss anything. 

He smiles and mouths “thanks” when he notices. You’re writing down final reminders when Changgu’s head winds up on your shoulder. You and your cast mate across the room make eye contact. He frowns at you and you immediately look away, trying to ignore how close Changgu is to you right now.

When you put the pen down, Changgu immediately takes your hand. You don’t fight him, but it makes you smile. You’re definitely going to tease him about this later. 

When you’re finally done, Changgu gets up and takes his script back from you. He promises to send you pictures of it later. You’re okay with that because it gives him a reason to keep talking to you. 

That night, you’re lying in bed, trying to go to sleep when it hits that you have no idea where you stand with him. Are you a couple now? Are you still friends? You’ve never dated anyone before so you don’t know how this works. 

You think about it some more, but you don’t want to get distracted so soon before opening night. You tell yourself you’ll confront him about it after the show’s over. You don’t want to make things complicated now. 

===

Opening night is so much better than you could have imagined. The entire cast was perfect, everyone’s performance was amazing, you had so much fun. When the play was over, your family gave you the biggest hugs. They complimented Changgu on his performance too, which made him blush. 

The rest of the shows are also great. As much as you enjoy being onstage, the rush of getting ready beforehand is even better. You take it upon yourself to do Changgu’s makeup, which winds up in him flirting with you and you kissing him when no one’s looking just to shut him up. 

Your last night is the best night. All of you put so much work into this show, and it truly pays off. When you do your curtain call next to Changgu, neither of you can stop smiling. There’s no way you could’ve done the show without him. 

When the curtains close, he pulls you in for a hug. The fact that you’re ending high school with a bang, and you’re in the arms of the boy you’ve had a crush on for so long makes you think you’ve never been so happy in your life. 

Once the entire cast has changed back into their day clothes, you pile into your friends’ cars to drive to Pizza Hut. Your director promised to buy you all dinner when you were finally finished the production. 

You and Changgu split up and go in different cars. On the way, all your friends ask if you two are dating. You tell them no of course not, but they don’t believe you. It feels nice to have a kind of boyfriend. You still need to figure that out. But for now, you just want to enjoy the night with your friends. 

When you get to the restaurant, you all sit down at the biggest table they have. It’s almost 9:30, so it’s pretty empty, thankfully. 

The group orders tons of pizza and drinks, and you all reminisce while eating. It’s bittersweet for you. A lot of the younger cast mates tell you how much they’ll miss you and what an awesome job you did. You’d probably cry if you weren’t still wearing your stage makeup. 

After you eat, everyone argues over what to get for dessert. You’re sitting back, laughing, when Changgu makes eye contact with you from across the table. He smiles and gestures to his phone. You take yours out of your bag and there’s a text from him. 

Changgu: come outside with me 

You look back up at him but he’s already standing up and walking towards the door. You tell your friend you’ll be back and follow him. 

The air outside is a little cool but it’s a nice feeling after being cramped inside with so many people. 

You look to your left and Changgu’s sitting on a bench there. You sit down cross legged, facing him. 

“Why did you ask me to come out here?” 

“I wanted to be alone with you for a minute.” He absentmindedly takes your hand. 

“Well, we’re alone.” You’re starting to get scared now. What if he tells you he doesn’t want a relationship and everything that happened between you two was just for the play? You don’t know what you’ll do if that happens. A chill rushes through you and you shudder. 

“Are you cold?” Changgu asks, right away, moving closer to you. You shake your head, but he takes off his jacket and wraps it around your shoulders anyway. 

“Why are you being so romantic right now?” You stick your arms through the sleeves. The jacket smells like him, which makes you feel some type of way. You wish you could keep it forever. “You can drop the act, Romeo.” 

“I just want everyone inside to know you’re mine.” That takes a second for your brain to process. 

“Yours?” 

“I mean,” he looks nervous. “If you want to be.” 

“Are you dumb?” He looks really scared now, which makes you smile. “Of course I do.” 

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him in for a kiss. You’ve kissed tons of times, but this feels different. Good different. When he pulls away, he kisses your forehead. You can’t stop smiling. 

“Wait,” you say, leaning back a little. Your arms are still wrapped around him. He frowns. “Are you my boyfriend now?” 

“Um, yes?” 

“Oh my god,” you say to yourself. “I can’t believe it.” That makes him laugh. 

“My girlfriend’s so cute.” Hearing him say that feels almost euphoric. 

“You’re such a dork.” 

“I,” he kisses you. “Yeo Changgu,” he kisses you again. “Am all,” another kiss. “Yours.” 

You genuinely can’t stop smiling, you don’t even have words. You just look at him in awe. 

“Wait,” he says, wiping the side of your mouth with his thumb. “I messed up your lipstick, I’m so sorry.” 

“It’s fine,” you tell him. “It won’t be the last time.” It’s his turn to blush. You pick up your phone to check your reflection. You look fine, thankfully. 

“We should go back inside, shouldn’t we?” He asks. 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Me neither.” That makes you laugh, but you get up anyway. 

He takes your hand as you both walk back into the restaurant. No one’s noticed you left, and no one notices when you two sit down beside each other. 

You all eat dessert, and then your director makes a nice little speech about how well you all did and how proud she is of you. 

She’s sitting down, when you stand up. You don’t even know why. Everyone seems kind of surprised. 

“Sorry,” you say. “I wanted to say something too.” You glance at Changgu, who’s smiling at you. He takes your hand, which gives you some courage. 

“Go ahead, y/n.” 

“As you all know, this is my last show with you. It’s been so exciting, and I can’t think of a better way to end my high school career. Theatre has connected me with so many amazing people,” Changgu squeezes your hand, which flusters you a little bit. “I’m just really grateful to have met you all and I’m going to miss you like hell.” 

Everyone claps and raises their glasses for you, which makes you roll your eyes a bit, but you appreciate it anyway. You’re about to sit down when you suddenly remember. 

“Wait!” Everyone looks at you again. “One more thing.” 

You sit down next to Changgu and pull him in for a kiss in front of everyone. There are some gasps, lots of people saying they knew it, some people clap for the two of you. Changgu kisses your cheek before the two of you let go of each other. 

“We saw you making out outside earlier,” someone next to you says. You and Changgu both make shocked faces at each other. 

“We all knew it would happen,” says someone else. 

“I’m so confused,” one of the freshman at the other end of the table says. “Changgu and y/n? That makes no sense.” 

His friend sitting next to him smacks him, which makes you all laugh. 

All in all, everyone’s insanely happy for you, and you’re incredibly thankful. 

Although you’re sad your last high school play has come to an end, it’s okay. You made the most of your time, and things ended on an amazing note. 

As for Changgu, you know you have so much more to do with him. You’ll go to prom, graduate, spend the entire summer together, go on cute dates, and kiss him again and again and again. 

But for now, holding his hand under the table, surrounded by some of your closest friends, laughing and having fun - that’s more than enough for you. 

[letterboxd]

Life Detained.

The Mauritanian director Kevin Macdonald talks with Jack Moulton about researching Guantanamo Bay’s top secrets, Tahar Rahim’s method-acting techniques, the ingenuity of humanity during the pandemic, and his favorite Scottish films.

“You’ve got to understand that for a Muslim man like Tahar, this role has a much greater significance than it does for you or me.” —Kevin Macdonald

It’s not uncommon for a director to release two films in one year, but Academy-Award winning—for his 1999 documentary One Day in September—director Kevin Macdonald is guilty of this achievement multiple times. Ten years ago, he released his first crowd-sourced documentary Life in a Day and the period epic The Eagle within months of each other. A decade on, he’s done it again.

The Scottish director (and grandson of legendary filmmaker Emeric Pressburger) released both his Life in a Day follow-up and the legal drama The Mauritanian this month. The latter tells the story of Guantanamo Bay detainee Mohamedou Ould Slahi (sometimes written as Salahi), who was held and tortured in the notorious US detention center for fourteen years without a charge. The film, adapted from Slahi’s 2015 memoir Guantánamo Diary, features Jodie Foster and Shailene Woodley as his defense attorneys Nancy Hollander and Teri Duncan, with Benedict Cumberbatch, who also signed on as the film’s producer, playing prosecutor Lt. Stuart Couch.

Benedict Cumberbatch as prosecutor Lt. Stuart Couch in ‘The Mauritanian’.

The Mauritanian also introduces French star Tahar Rahim to a global audience, in the role of Slahi. “The ensemble is excellent across the board,” writes Zach Gilbert, “while Tahar Rahim is best in show overall, bringing honorable heart and humanity to his role [of] the titular mistreated prisoner.”

Much of the story is filmed as an office-based legal thriller involving thick files, intense conversations, and Jodie Foster’s very bright lipstick. Macdonald expertly employs aspect ratio to signify narrative shifts into scenes recreating Slahi’s vivid recollections of torture and his achingly brief conversations with unseen fellow detainees.

Qualifying for this year’s awards season due to extended deadlines, The Mauritanian has already earned Golden Globe nominations for Best Actor and Best Supporting Actress for Rahim and Foster respectively. Slahi remains unable to travel due to no-fly lists, but he was a valuable resource to the production, providing an accurate and rare depiction of a sympathetic Muslim character in an American film.

It was the eve of Life in a Day 2020’s Sundance Film Festival premiere when we Zoomed with Macdonald. Behind him, we spied a full set of the Italian posters for Michelangelo Antonioni’s classic Blow-Up. As it turns out, he’s not a fan of the film—only the posters—so we got him talking about his desert-island top ten after a few questions about his new film.

The attention to detail on Guantanamo Bay in The Mauritanian is impressive. There are procedures depicted that you rarely see on-screen. How did you conduct your research? Obviously Guantanamo Bay is a place which the American government spends a great deal of effort keeping secret. It was important to Mohamedou and me that we depicted the reality of the procedures as accurately as we possibly could. That research came primarily from Mohamedou who has an incredible memory. He drew sketches and made videos of himself lying down in spaces and showing how he could stretch half his arm out [in his cell]. There are a lot of photographs on the internet of Guantanamo Bay which are [fake] and others are from a later period because the place developed a lot over the years since it started in 2002 and Mohamedou was able to [identify] which photos were rooms, courtyards and medical centers he had been in.

Director Kevin Macdonald on set with Jodie Foster.

How did you approach creating an honest representation of the graphic torture scenes, without putting the audience through it as well? Whenever films about this period are [made] they’re always from the point of view of the Americans and this time we’re with Mohamedou. You can’t underestimate the fact that there have really been no mainstream American cinematic portrayals of Muslims at all, so in portraying a sympathetic Muslim character who’s also accused of terrorism, you’re pushing some hot buttons with people. It was important that those people who are uncomfortable with him understand why he confessed to what he confessed.

Everything you see in the film is what happened; the only difference is that they weren’t wearing masks of cats and Shrek-like creatures, they wore Star Wars masks of Yoda and Luke Skywalker in this very perverse fucked-up version of American pop culture. Obviously, we couldn’t get the rights to those. Actually, I don’t feel that it is graphic. There is more violence in your average Marvel movie. It’s psychologically disturbing because you’re experiencing this disorientating lighting, the [heavy-metal] music, and he’s being told his mother’s going to be raped and he’s flashing back to his childhood. To be empathizing with this character and then to see them to be so cruelly treated is so deeply disturbing.

How did you prepare Tahar Rahim for his convincing portrayal of such intense pain and suffering? Tahar went through a great deal of discomfort in order to achieve it. He felt that to give a performance that had any chance of being truthful, he needed to experience a little bit of what Mohamedou had suffered, so throughout the movie he would insist on wearing real shackles which made his leg bleed and give him blisters. I would plead with him to put on rubber ones and he would say “no, I have to do this so I’m not just play-acting”.

He starved himself for about three weeks leading up to a torture sequence—he had lost an awful amount of weight and he was really unsteady on his legs. I was very worried about it and I got him nutritionists and doctors but he was determined to stick with that. You’ve got to understand that for a Muslim man like Tahar, this role has a much greater significance than it does for you or me. He felt a great weight of responsibility to do this correctly, not just for Mohamedou, but he was speaking for the whole Muslim world in a way.

Jodie Foster and Shailene Woodley as defense attorneys in ‘The Mauritanian’.

What compels you to study this period in time? Mohamedou was released a couple of weeks before Trump came to power in 2016, so the story is still ongoing for him. He’s still being harassed by the American government and he’s not allowed to travel because he’s on these no-fly lists. I didn’t want to make a movie that was saying “George W. Bush is terrible”. We’ve been there, we’ve done that. This is looking back with a little bit of distance and saying “here’s the principles that we can learn from when you sidestep the rule of law”—what it takes to stand up like Lt. Stuart Couch did when everyone else around you is going along with something that’s really terrible.

You see that around Trump with the choices within the Republican Party to stand up and say they’re going to sacrifice their careers to do the right thing. It is a hard thing when there’s this mass hysteria in the air. The basic principles that the lawyer [characters] are representing is not about analyzing and replaying what happened after 9/11, they’re directly related in a bigger way to the world we all inhabit.

Did anything surprise you in how your subjects for Life in a Day 2020 addressed the pandemic? One of the most affecting characters in the film is an American who lost his home and business because of the pandemic, so he’s living in his car. He seems very depressed when you meet him for the first time, then later he’s telling us there’s something that’s giving him joy in his life. He brings out all these drones with these cameras on them and puts on this VR headset and loses himself by flying through the trees. I thought that was such a great metaphor for the way that human ingenuity has enabled us to survive and thrive during the pandemic.

I get the feeling of resilience from [the film]. This is a more thoughtful film than the original one. I see this as a movie of [us] being beware of our susceptibility to disease and ultimately to death and mortality, [and] how we’ve found these consolations as human beings. To me, it’s a really profound thing. It also speaks to the main theme of the film which is how we’re all so similar, same as The Mauritanian. It’s confronting you with all these people and saying we fundamentally all share the basic things that underpin our lives and the differences between us are much less important than the things we have in common.

Let’s go from Life in a Day to your life in film. What’s a Scottish film that you love but you feel is very overlooked or underrated? That’s really hard because there aren’t many Scottish films and there aren’t many good ones. Gregory’s Girl is the greatest Scottish film ever made—it’s the bible for life for me. That’s very well-known, so I would have to say Bill Forsyth’s previous film That Sinking Feeling, which was self-funded and made on 16mm black-and-white. It has some of the same actors and characters as Gregory’s Girl in it. Or my grandfather Emeric Pressberger’s film I Know Where I’m Going! which is a rare romantic comedy set in Scotland.

John Gordon Sinclair and Dee Hepburn in Bill Forsyth’s ‘Gregory’s Girl’ (1980).

Which film made you want to become a filmmaker? I think it was Errol Morris’s The Thin Blue Line, which is one of the top five documentaries ever made and in my top ten desert-island movies.

What else is in your desert-island top ten? Oh god, don’t! I knew you were going to ask me that. I’ll give a few. I would say there would have to be something by Preston Sturges—maybe The Lady Eve or The Palm Beach Story. There would have to be a film written by my grandfather, so probably The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp, which is the best British film ever made. There would have to be Singin’ in the Rain, which is the most purely joyful film I’ve ever seen. There would probably be The Battle of Algiers, which I rewatched recently and was an inspiration on The Mauritanian. Citizen Kane I also rewatched in anticipation of watching Mank, of which I was very disappointed. I thought it completely missed the point and was kind of boring.

Which was the best film released in 2020 for you? I thought the Russian film Dear Comrades! was really stunning. It was made by a director [Andrei Konchalovsky] in his 80s who first worked with Andrei Tarkovsky back in the late 1950s. He co-scripted Ivan’s Childhood. I would love to make my masterpiece when I’m 86 too!

Related content

Films with Muslim characters

Movies that pass the Riz test

Scottish Cinema—a regularly updated list

Follow Jack on Letterboxd

‘The Mauritanian’ is in select US cinemas and virtual theaters now, and on SVOD from March 2. ‘Life in a Day 2020’ is available to stream free on YouTube, as is the original.

[starlightsearches]

Office Romance: Ch 20 Inspection

General Hux and Kylo Ren have found themselves competing for the affection of a lieutenant aboard the Finalizer.

Series Warnings: Language, some violence, near-death experiences.

Masterlist

AN: Haha, I finally did it! Thank you all so much for your support while I figured out where this story goes, and where it ends. I received so many kind messages and so much love. Warnings for this chapter: angst, canon-typical violence (force choking), discussions of abuse, kind of?

You wake up with bleary eyes and a pounding headache. For a moment, you're able to forget why you feel so terrible—not just physically, but deep in your bones—and you sit and wait until it hits you.

You had cried late into the night—cried until you couldn’t anymore—but as soon as the memories resurface, so do the tears, stinging your tired eyes. It's only just started, but you're sure that it will take a miracle for you to get through the day.

You force yourself out of bed and to the sink, drinking straight from the faucet, and then you down a rehydration canister as well, for good measure. (Technically, they're for medical use only but they're a godsend for hangovers.) The taste is questionable, and you'll have to piss like a bantha later, but it'll be worth it if it gets you feeling like a human again.

You rinse off in the sani-steam and put on your uniform, already feeling better. The positivity is immediately lost when you see Ren's helmet sitting on your desk. The memory is blurry even now that you're fully awake—stumbling through the halls on the way back to your room, the weight of his helmet sitting heavy in your hands, and the words running through your head on repeat just in case you ran in to him: you left this, you left this, you left this.

What would you say to him now? You obviously have to talk about it, but . . .  how? There's a slight unease settling in your stomach as you think about what had happened between you and Ren. Had you liked it, the kiss? It's hard to separate the event from everything that had happened after, which you definitely had not liked.

After a moment of debating, you decide to take the helmet with you, tucking it under your arm and hoping that the bulk of your greatcoat would hide it from view.

You walk in the direction of the bridge, doing your best to appear normal as you try to sense Ren's location through the force. It's not something you've tried before, and not something that he had tried to teach you yet. It's more difficult than you anticipated; everytime you open yourself up to the force you become overwhelmed by the feeling of all the lives on the ship, and you're unable to distinguish between any of them, let alone pick out Ren's unique signature from the group.

You pull yourself from your search just before you collide with someone—a harried-looking maintenance tech busy staring at her data pad. She doesn't notice you, and you catch her by the shoulder just before impact, stopping her momentum. She lets out a small oof, the data pad threatening to tumble from her hands before she gets a hold of it.

"I'm so sorry, Lieutenant General," she says, saluting once she recognises you, "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"It's alright, I wasn't either." You give her a small smile, hoping to put her at ease, to show that you're not angry, but it doesn't take long for you to realize that you're not what's making her nervous.

"Busy day today?" you ask, scoping out the surface of her thoughts searching for the origin of her woes. Please don't let it be Ren, please don't let it be Ren . . . 

"Uh, yeah, actually," she replies with a little trepidation, "we've got like, seven different emergency repairs and they're all- "

" Code 4120?" you finish for her, and she looks back, surprised. You don't know all the repair codes, but that one you've memorized. Lightsaber damage.

"Uh, yeah, actually," she replies with a nervous laugh, "I don't know what got into the commander but I hope it doesn't happen again." She blushes—embarrassed to talk this way about a commanding officer in front of another commanding officer—and walks off quickly, leaving you to dwell on the information alone.

You continue on your way to the bridge, but decide to stop at the officer's dining area first, hoping to grab a cup of caff before officially starting your shift. As soon as you enter, though, you'd like to walk back out, because the first thing you see is Ren's shiny new black eye, uncovered and set in a fiery glare towards Hux's normal seat, which is currently unoccupied. There are others in the dining area, though, full of sick curiosity as they shovel their rations into their mouths, glancing at Ren every few seconds, desperate to know what happened. You have to be careful. These next few moments could be explosive if you weren't.

"Your helmet, sir. You left it in the training room after our sparring session," you say to Ren, dropping it on the table in front of him. Everyone perks up when you address him, hoping to be clued in on the drama, but Ren doesn't even look at you, which suits your plans just fine, for now.

You lean in just a little closer, trying to sell the lie as you whisper, loud enough for the people closest to hear, "and I'm very sorry about your eye, sir."

"Wait, you gave him that?" Someone takes the bait, and you hold in your sigh of relief as you turn to address them. It's Kaimill Wate, the one you picked to be your replacement for Phasma after your promotion.

"Yes, Lieutenant. It was an accident, my hand slipped." Ren continues to ignore you, but the rest of the officers buy into your lie anyway. Thank the gods for that.

The only one who still seems suspicious is Mitaka, and his eyes follow you around the room, his mouth formed into a slight frown. You grab your caff and flash him a look, hoping he'll get the message, and he does, standing from his seat immediately and tossing out the rest of his breakfast before following you out the door.

"What is going on with you?" he asks, as soon you're alone, his whispers tight and angry as he checks to make sure that no one around you is listening.

"Oh, fuck," the words fall out completely unbidden, and the panic slips back in to its home in your chest. Would you have to feel this way forever? Constantly on edge, waiting for this to explode into the light and ruin you? It's no way to live; you don't think you can bear it.

"Hey," Mitaka speaks again, pulling you to a stop, "tell me what's going on." His voice and touch are gentle and it breaks your heart all over again that you've spent so much time lying to someone who cares for you so deeply. 

"I will tell you what's going on, Doe, I promise. Just not right now." He seems distrustful, and you don't blame him after everything that's happened, but he nods in agreement, and you feel a little more at ease.

"Are you ready for the inspection?" Mitaka asks to change the subject, and your eyes widen with surprise.

"What inspection?" Normally the Directorate gave ships a week's notice before any official visits. Had you somehow managed to forget in all the chaos?

"The general sent out an alert early this morning. It was a surprise for him, too, I think," Mitaka responds, just as you enter the bridge. Hux is there at the view ports, looking no worse for wear, despite his injury.There’s a maintenance worker with him, probably updating him on the progress for the repairs, but it doesn't seem like he's truly listening, and after a moment, they walk off.

"Who is performing the inspection?" you whisper to Mitaka, hoping to avoid the general's attention for as long as possible. You’re still not sure what you want from him. And you don’t know how he’ll react when he sees you again, or if he’ll react at all.

"Hello, Lieutenant General," the voice behind you answers your question before Mitaka can, and when you recognise it, you can feel the cup of caff begin to slip from your fingers. No, not him. Not here.

"General Pryde, welcome to the Finalizer," Hux has arrived, and Mitaka takes his place on the bridge, leaving you alone with the two men as they greet each other with a slight nod and hate in their eyes. You have to hope that you're still asleep, because this is a nightmare. You try to wake up; nothing changes.

"Shall we begin?" Pryde asks, and both of them turn to look at you. Even with some kind of miracle, you're not sure you'll survive this.

You try your best to remain focused, but there's little hope for that when you think you sense Ren around every corner, when you're simultaneously trying to catch the general's eye and stay invisible to him, when you have to watch every word that exits your lips to make sure that Pryde will not sense even the slightest trace of the deep and abiding hatred lurking just below the surface of your skin.

No, You're not focused, not in the slightest, but you know the general would rather chew on mouthfuls of glass than look like a fool in front of a superior officer and he makes up for your lack, leading you and Pryde from place to place, careful to avoid the parts of the ship that Ren had left in disrepair. The whole thing goes fairly well, as far as you can tell, and you breathe a sigh of relief once you return to the bridge, finally finished with your looping tour.

"Thank you for your time, General," Pryde says dismissively, and you tune back into the conversation, nervous about the change you can sense in his mood. He turns his attention to you, and although he has the same stony demeanor as always, you know what he's feeling, and you know what he's about to say, "I'd like to speak to your lieutenant for a moment. Could you spare her?"

General Hux looks at you for the first time since the last time he looked at you, since you watched him walk away. You're afraid to look back, but you do anyway, ready to see the loathing you deserve reflected back at you, but his gaze is absent of any emotion at all, and somehow that’s worse.

He's waiting for permission. It takes you a moment to realize that this extended eye contact is not some kind of a punishment that the general is hoping to inflict, but an offer of protection from Pryde. He's willing to say no for you.

You give him the slightest nod you can manage, and only then does he speak, "of course, Allegiant General." He walks off without a word, and you watch him go without a chance to thank him.

Pryde clears his throat, and you follow him from the bridge, down to the hangar where his ship waits for him. Something about the moment makes you feel like a little girl again, like he's about to yell at you for running through the house or breaking a lamp, and the same sickness comes right back, the same fear, the same sight that you saw so often in the plane between waking and sleeping: Pryde, blaster in hand, pointing the barrel of the weapon directly between your eyes.

It's a ridiculous notion, a silly thought. You're not a child anymore. You're a soldier. A force-wielder. You can defend yourself. But could you defend yourself?

As soon as Pryde finds an empty corridor, he acts, pulling you into some abandoned meeting room. You breathe deeply through your nose and think calm thoughts. He just wants to talk to you in private.

"Well?" He's already angry, which means you'll have to be careful, have to hit every mark and deliver each line with perfect inflection to keep his anger at bay. Even without an audience he still demands the doting daughter routine. Lucky for you though, it's a role you have had a lifetime to perfect.

"It's good to see you, father," you say, pressing a soft kiss to his papery check, trying very hard to keep thoughts of your last kiss out of your mind. This was a critical performance; you could not afford any distractions.

He relaxes only slightly, but you refuse to let your guard down until you know what he wants. It seems that he is ready to join in on your act, putting on the guise of a concerned father. He must want something.

"You seem tired," he begins—less convincing in his role than you manage to be, which is understandable. He's under less pressure. "Is everything alright?"

"I didn't get much sleep," you offer, " I've been kept busy since my promotion." He looks skeptical, but you're not sure why, especially since it's the truth, or part of it, at least.

"Is General Hux giving you too much of his work? I would recommend you for a transfer to the Supremacy. I'm sure that General-"

'I don't want to leave the Finalizer, father," you interrupt, and the look in his eyes makes the regret appear instantaneously. "It's just one night without sleep; it won't kill me. I appreciate the concern."

"Your mother sends her regards." He seems mollified enough, and then he changes the subject, which doesn't surprise you in the slightest. He doesn't care how you are. He's just searching for weakness.

"Tell her I miss her," you respond on instinct, and then after a beat, "and you, as well, father." Gods, You want this conversation to be over. You're tired of walking on glass and hoping it won't splinter beneath your feet.

"We've been talking recently," he says, falsely casual, "she thinks you should come home. We both do." It's off-script, and the surprise throws you out of your act and directly into a spiraling panic.

"What?" You genuinely think you might faint. Even after the news you received last night, this somehow manages to come as a bigger shock. Maybe you should have seen it coming. You thought you were safe from him here, but maybe that was all an act too.

"We don't feel comfortable having you work in such a dangerous environment, and after the assassination attempt, can you blame us? Your mother was a wreck for days after the event, hardly sleeping, unable to eat. I thought the stress would kill her."

He's trying to guilt you into giving in, and you might have been more receptive of it, if it had been anyone else. You wish the stress would kill her. Wish it would kill them both.

"Please, come home. We'll take care of you again. We'll keep you safe." He rests a hand on your shoulder, the loving father, the one you always deserved, and you hate yourself for it, but you almost buy into it. Because you want to believe, damn you, want to believe that someone else would care for you. You want to unload, give away the reins and let someone else make the tough decisions again. Because you're so damn tired. Because you're not strong enough to do it yourself.

Hot, fat tears roll down your cheeks and you bow your head in defeat. The woman, the fortune teller from Irrade, she was right. It's not always an or the other. You can choose not to decide. You can give up.

Pryde lifts your gaze to his, wipes the tears from your cheeks, pulls you in for an embrace. You don't find home in his arms, but maybe someday you could.

"You'll be safe now," he whispers and you will yourself to believe it, "I'll take care of everything." It's not until he runs a hand through your hair, an approximation of a soothing gesture, that you notice it. For some reason, that's the contact that tunes you into his thoughts—thoughts that he must have had the whole time but kept hidden, and you were too distracted to see them.

"You know," you say, pulling yourself from his grasp, "about my training. About Ren." How could you have been so blind? He didn't want to save you, he wanted to save himself. Every part of you hums with rage, and you let the anger flow through you, too tired to stop it.

“You lied to me!” You’ve never yelled at him before, but the words burst out of you, “you don’t want me back, you want me away from him!”

"Now, wait, see here-" he blanches, trying to cover his tracks, but you don't need to see any more to know that it's a kindness for you to only block his windpipe. You're being merciful. You should snap his neck. Force choking is another skill Ren never taught you, but this one is easy and so very satisfying as you bring Pryde to his knees.

"No, general, you see here," you say, getting in his face, looming over him, "I'm not going anywhere. And you are going to stay. the. fuck. away from me. And then maybe I'll let you live." You storm out of the room, not bothering to glance back, not caring to check if you had killed him or not.

You march through the corridors with no destination in mind, desperate to escape the rage that wells up inside, and you finally understand Ren. It would feel good to destroy something right now, but walking would have to suffice.

You end up on the bridge without realizing it. Still, you've never felt more in control. The anger has left your body and you find strength has replaced it. You're not going to run from this. You're going to make a choice.

AN: Okay, that’s it for this chapter! I’m not going to give an ETA for the next one, because I think I’m going to be doing something a little different. I also will probably put requests on hold for the moment until I finish this story up; I’m assuming it will only be three or four more chapters. Let me know what you think!

Tags: @acunningstargazer​, @itsa-pseudonym, @ddaeing, @dark-night-sky-99, @i-jus-wanna-writehappy​, @fresa-luna, @leiadelreyy, @averillian, @sunbanna (let me know if you’d like to be added or removed!)

[life-greatest-treasures]

Erasermight Fic Rec

Hello, I have decided to do this recommendation to keep track of some of the fics that I read and am still trying to read. Might update more when I found some more. I have read a lot and some are not here yet. Still trying to put it in. Enjoy.

The Yokai Series

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14485440/chapters/33461889

Summary: Aizawa Shouta has a chance encounter with an urban legend, one who might hold the key to finding his sister. Hopefully, he can solve this missing person's case, before his vile mother's impending deadline.

Verdict: Let me tell you how much I adore this fic. One of the few very well written A/B/O verse fic that I have read from all fandom (including the one from One Piece) Aizawa is an alpha here (which is really rare since most fic written him as omega). He encountered a very interesting urban legend surrounding an omega. Coupled with the drama of saving his sister, he has to go undercover to uncover a human trafficking ring. Second series is up but its not done. Waiting for the update. 10/10

The Cycle of the Lotus Series

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1275368

Summary: Like the lotus, Yagi Toshinori rose above the waters of the world in pristine glory, only to sink back into the muck. But also like the lotus, Yagi will rise again, as amazing as he was before.After the events of Kamino Ward, Toshinori is trying to deal with the fact that his old life is over and the new life he's building may be perilously short. But when he finds more and more reason to wish to live instead of accept the dire prophecy that had trailed him since his injury at the hands of All For One, he finds that life is happy to offer more and more things to want.Yagi will be down in the mud like the lotus, but when he fights to rise, he won't be the same man he was before, but he'll still be reaching for the light all the same.

Verdict: Oof, this is a really lovely series if you really like All Might. It is a slowburn Erasermight and you wont see them getting together that fast which I actually enjoyed. It has enough of heart string pulling at some point. There is a total of 13 stories which is really long. I enjoyed All Might characterization here and Aizawa as well. You see another side of him which is as close to the canon as possible. It is manga compliant so it might be a bit spoilery for those who didn't read it. Lot of sexual tension. XD 10/10

One Petal, Two

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15763839/chapters/36665901

Summary: Eighth hasn't been well enough to pilot in months, not since Seventh and her substitute Stamen died in battle. Meanwhile, FRANXX Stamen 042 has disobeyed orders for the last time and has been sent back to the Garden like a common De-Select for proper treatment.The new director of the Garden facility has other plans for them. (A Darling in the FRANXX erasermight AU)

Verdict: Lol, if you know about Darling in the FRANXX and you like Erasermight, you can give it a try. Hot steamy alien sex? With alien sexual organ? Oh yeah!

NewsFlash: All Might, Eraserhead Team Up!    

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12723888/chapters/29016324

Summary: Five times the #1 headliner All Might and underground scrub Eraserhead teamed up, and one time they didn't. Unfortunately, the first time they meet, both heroes are already high on weaponized ecstasy – or Dust, as it's known on the street. Let the good times roll.

Verdict: Porn with awesome plot? Yea, that is what I like about it I guess. Hahaha. What happen when you are practically hit with a super airborne aphrodisiac that makes you want to f*ck the first person you see after being hit. And its not only once, but multiple times got its hard to get the drug flush out of your systems. You can imagine how All Might may be embarrassed about it. You can see lots of flustered All Might. Shy All Might is best boi. XD Yea, I am weak for buff All Might being all shy and shit. But the fic was well written and they really stays in character. 8.9/10

Bandages and Bravado

https://archiveofourown.org/series/814395

Summary: All Might – Toshinori – fakes it. All the time, every time, because he has to. Aizawa thinks lying and liars are the most exhausting things in life, so of course he didn't expect to fall in love, but here they are.

Verdict: There is a lot of stories in this. It is practically Toshi and Shouta dealings with feelings and what they want and Toshi getting his first hand experience in voyeurism. Lots of cute moments and hot ones as well. Not done reading this fic yet.

How to be Whole Again    

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18195038/chapters/43040030

Summary: All Might is hit with a de-aging quirk. Losing his memory but gaining back his old body and One for All. Aizawa has to deal with the fallout.Slight Manga Spoilers.

Verdict: It is really interesting take on what happen if All Might revert back to his old body with One For All in tact and forgot that he was married to Shouta. Well, lots of angst and it is really sad. As a fan of All Might, we know that one day, he will be gone. This fic really makes you feel it. He is alive but as a person who lost most of his memory of his subsequent life. Years lost and stuffs.

Me Neither

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193635/

Summary: Officer Aizawa is given the assignment everyone, but him wants: protecting the newly retired All Might. Between the prospect of having to be near his least favorite public figure 24/7 and dealing with the media Shota is ready to tear his hair out, that is until he realizes he's not protecting All Might; he's protecting Yagi Toshinori.

Verdict: This is an interesting take on if Aizawa end up being a cop instead of a teacher and then given the job to guard All Might which he detested. It is interesting to see their relationship grow. 8/10

I Sing The Body Electric (Especially When My Power's Out)    

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12854802

Summary: Body swapping isn't as uncommon as it used to be in this world of amazing Quirks.

Doesn't make it any less of a hassle though.

Verdict: What happened when you switch body and you have to adapt to the pain of that body, well Aizawa’s respect for All Might just might gone up a few notch. 7.5/10

No Take Backs

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16787179/chapters/39397468

Summary:  An undercover fake-married fic.

The Persistence Sunflower

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17569865

Summary: As one of the top reigning tattoo artists of his city, Toshinori Yagi prides himself on creating wholly unique pieces for every client that strolls in through his door. But when his dark and intriguing new neighbor -- a sullen florist named Shouta Aizawa -- unexpectedly books a tattoo where Yagi is charged with making all the final decisions, he has to delve deep into figuring out the man who does everything in his power to hide himself and his heart from the world.

The Tutor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16038482

Summary: Yagi Toshinori is a bit of an idiot. He knows that. But the problem is… he’s actually really smart.

Don't Know What You've Got 'Til It's Gone (And Sometimes Not Even Then)    

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14956058

Summary: Basically Aizawa gets transported into an alternate universe, and its just the start.

Sunflowers and Dandelions    

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12353748/chapters/28100334

Summary: Aizawa owned a flower shop and Yagi visited it.

Erasermight Quirkless AU   (COMIC)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13060254/chapters/29873379

Summary: Aizawa is a high school literature teacher and also a novelist, Hizashi is a musician (They're roommates)

Toshinori was a police officer and he worked with Tsukauchi as partners but Toshi is retired.

[timeoutforthee]

Like It or Not-Chapter 11

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @michealawithana, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @unlikelynightmareconnoisseur, @idkaurl

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings: denial, unsupportive people, invalidating feelings

Read it on AO3!

“Roman! A word?”

Roman turns away from the door and walks back to his teacher, Mr. Hurley. “Yes?”

“I noticed you weren’t at auditions yesterday,” he starts and Roman takes a deep breath. Yesterday, while all his friends were singing their heart out, he was in therapy with Dr. Picani. And during therapy, he had made a decision. One his drama teacher-slash-director would not appreciate.

“Yeah, about that....,” his teacher raises an eyebrow, “I’m not doing Beauty and the Beast.”

“...what?”

“You know, I’ve been having all sorts of health issues lately, and I think it would be best if I stepped back for a while,” Roman recites, perfectly, just as he and his therapist practiced.

“You look fine to me!” his teacher says, which is one of the responses they had planned for.

“Not all illnesses are visible.”

Mr. Hurley sighs and rubs his temples.

“What am I supposed to do for the Beast?”

Roman winces. He knows his director doesn’t mean anything by it, that it might even be a compliment, considering it was the lead. But having someone in his life immediately assume he would be a beastly, ugly monster is not doing wonders for his self esteem.

If it was up to him, he’d be Lumiere. But lately, no one seemed to ask what he wanted.

“I...don’t know?”

“Do you know how many men are in the theater department?”

“Six-”

“Six!” his teacher cries at the same time. “We already had to make the narrator a female role. That leaves seven male roles, and now I only have five actors?”

And there it is. The crushing guilt he was trying to avoid.

“I’m sorry,” Roman’s voice is surprisingly soft, “I just...I can’t.”

No matter what he wants, how badly he wants this, he can’t have all those people staring at him. He can’t make himself dress up as a terrifying, ugly beast. He can’t have people wait the whole play for a dashing prince and then just be...himself.

“You know, this could have been a big role for you. It would look great on a college application.”

Roman shakes his head, his voice failing. His teacher sighs.

“Fine.”

^

When Roman walks in, fifteen minutes late, he looks every bit as princely as he likes to pretend to be, except for the red around his eyes.

The other three exchange glances. Thomas smiles.

“Glad you could make it, Roman.”

“Ah, well, you know, you can never predict traffic!”

“Nice try,” Thomas’s smile never falters, “But try again.”

“Why, what do you mean?” He can see Virgil raising his eyebrows out of the corner of his eyes. Patton is looking at him in concern, and Logan is staring at him like he can see right through him.

“You know, part of group therapy is being open with each other, being vulnerable, even with emotions we find uncomfortable.”

“I, uh,” Roman sits down, “It’s just been a rough day.”

“We thought so, considering you didn’t show up for lunch,” Virgil says. Roman shoots him a glare. He couldn’t have, like, five minutes?

“What happened?” Thomas asks.

“I decided not to do the winter musical, which the theater department had some strong opinions about. And my dad and I got into a fight. It’s really not a big deal, I’m just being my overdramatic self,” Roman tries to brush it off.

“Roman, I think you may have trouble with invalidating your feelings.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you tend to brush off your feelings by saying you’re being over dramatic, or that they’re not important. But any feelings you experience are very important to you.”

“Well, sure, I guess, but that doesn’t mean they should be...right?”

“Let me ask you this,” Thomas continues, “Why do you think they’re unimportant?”

“I was crying in a bathroom for ten minutes over not being in a play, doc, I think in the grand scheme of things, it’s not going to matter.”

“I think that’s a little unfair,” Patton speaks up, “I mean, depending on how big of a picture we’re looking at, we could argue everything is meaningless. But that doesn’t mean it truly is. Our feelings in the moment matter in the moment.”

“Also,” Virgil says, “I haven’t known you long, but even I can see how much Theater means to you. You’re giving up that passion, that escape from the real world. It’s a good step for you, and you have to do it, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you want to. Of course you’re upset.”

“That’s true,” Thomas says, “And plus, you said earlier that it wasn’t just that, it was the negative backlash from your director, and also a fight with your father-”

“Did I say that?”

“You did,” his therapist responds, “What was that about?”

“My dad was hoping that without theater, I could try and take up sports again,” Roman says, “And I couldn’t tell him the real reason why I couldn’t, so I just told him I couldn’t, but that wasn’t good enough for him and it just…” and, oh God, he’s getting choked up again, so he just cuts himself off, with a “today has just not been my day.”

“I think that’s a bit of an understatement,” Logan says.

“And that brings us back to undermining our feelings,” Thomas says.

“Okay, I get it,” Roman rubs at his eyes, a little harder than necessary.

“Why do you feel like you couldn’t tell him the real reason?” Thomas asks, a little gentler this time.

Roman laughs. “He wouldn’t believe me.”

“Wouldn’t believe what?”

“That I have an eating disorder. I eat so many fruits and vegetables, and I work out so much, my strength was the only thing that made him proud-” Roman’s mouth snaps shut before he starts sobbing again. This is ridiculous.

“Do any of you have a similar experience?” Thomas asks, “Patton, you mentioned before that your mom caught you, so she knows about your eating disorder. What about you two?”

“My parents do not know,” Logan says and Roman looks over at him, “My mom...actually asks me for diet tips.”

Thomas doesn’t even try to hide that he’s writing that down. That is concerning. “And your dad?”

“My dad has this ridiculous notion that psychology and mental illnesses aren’t ‘real,’ that it’s a new phenomenon instead of a legitimate medical field. I haven’t told him the specifics of why I need to come here, and he’s never asked,” Logan’s hands go to his glasses, like they usually do when he’s nervous, “And I intend to keep it that way.”

“What about you, Virgil?”

Virgil sighs, “I don’t know what Violet knows. She just...sent me to a therapist one day. I tried to tell her I didn’t need it, but she wouldn’t listen, and eventually I came here. She brought up my eating habits during our family session, so I guess that’s why. She makes me eat something at dinner, usually an apple, so I guess she knows. But we don’t talk about it.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, I don’t necessarily want to talk to her.”

“Why?” Thomas keeps pressing.

“I don’t really want to talk to anyone.”

“You say that, and yet you’re here.”

“Not for long if you keep questioning me.”

Thomas holds up his hands. “Okay. If you’re done sharing, that’s fine. Originally, today I wanted to talk to you guys about what’s holding you back from recovery. We talked about what was motivating you all to move forward, but we need to look at any toxicity in life and see if we’re able to cut it off. Does that make sense?”

They all nod.

“So would you say your environments are contributing more to your recovery or your disorder?”

They all go silent for moment, thinking.

“I mean, I think it’s fair to say my environment is great. My mom has been nothing but supportive,” Patton says. And she has. She’s been great, group therapy has been great, his doctors have been great, the only problem is him and this constant empty feeling in his chest. He almost feels bad. Apparently, Virgil picks up on it, because he jumps in.

“Violet’s trying her best, I guess,” he says, “She’s taking me to these appointments and she took me in, which is already more than a lot of people would do.” It’s just me.

“And that doesn’t invalidate your experiences,” Thomas reassures them, “It just means we have to look somewhere else to find your triggers.”

“My family is not triggering,” Roman rushes to say, but he’s a little too late and a little too unsure.

“Roman, let’s jump back a bit. You said you felt your emotions were unimportant. Have your parents ever said they were unimportant?”

“No,” he says immediately, then, “Maybe?”

“Which isn’t ideal. I don’t think it’s just you invalidating your feelings, I think it’s your whole family. And I’m afraid, and Emile’s afraid, that it might make you feel like you’re unimportant.”

Roman isn’t sure what to do. He knows he should straighten his back and flick his hands up and smile and reassure him that he doesn’t have to worry about that. He should defend his family, because they’ve done so much for him. They only wants what’s best for him.

But he’s stuck. The words aren’t coming up and he can’t raise his head to actually look at his therapist.

Thomas gives it a minute to sink in, then turns to Logan.

“And the fact that your parents don’t understand, that they consider your habits healthy even, is very concerning. It’s hard to step back and recognize that what you’re doing is unhealthy when everyone around you is saying it’s fine.”

Logan nods, thinking. If he had never met with the doctor, if he had never met with Thomas, where would he be now? Still delusional, not even recognizing the signs?

“This is such an important topic, and one you guys need to be aware of. I’m going to put a little star next to it, so you can continue talking about it with Dr. Picani,” Dr. Sanders says, “But we’re out of time for today. Until next time, guys.”

^

Roman tries to subtly speed walk down the hallway, but the other three catch up to him, anyway.

“So?” Virgil asks.

“So what?” Maybe acting clueless will work.

“So why did you skip lunch today?”

“And where were you during gym?” Logan asks.

“My director caught me right before I went to lunch,” Roman says, defeated, “Our talk wasn’t the greatest, and I just...couldn’t eat right then.”

“But you are coming back tomorrow?” Patton asks. After all, he’s never stopped his behaviors, why should he expect Roman to quit immediately? And really, they all know that. They’ve all had a good streak of eating decent meals for two weeks, but it was only a matter of time before someone had a bad day.

“Yeah,” Roman says, straightening up and looking Patton in the eyes, “I will.” And he means it. He doesn’t want to. But he will.

[rkroyalsurvival-blog]

Time until the finale winds down ever quicker, minute after minute disappearing into thin air, until the tension of the production staff becomes a very physical thing felt by all. Worst of all, is the cloud of oppressive stress emanating from the Royal CEO, the man all growls and caffeine-loaded as he enters into the Seocho theatre venue like a thunderstorm. Something is off, worrisome-- yet not even the head producer dares to question it as So Jisub drags out his chair from under the table and sinks down onto it.

“Is Yejin here yet?” Jisub snaps out coolly, and the producer jumps in place, paling.

“Getting her makeup on now--”

“Baekhyun? Kangjoon?”

“Also getting ready.” A usually composed man, the producer’s hand is visibly trembling as he lays down the script for the day’s filming in front of Jisub, the latter who looks at it without another word. Taking this as a signal to continue, the producer rattles off the schedule for the day: assessing the performances one by one with the introductions done by the MCs, the elimination and finally the sorting of the two final groups--

“That’s fine.” Jisub cuts the man off with a sharp movement of his hand. He sips at the cooling coffee he holds in his hand and nods towards the figure of Han Yejin, who approaches the table with a polite smile. Thanking the producer for his time, the CEO switches his attention to his talent, who greets him with the familiar warmth of long-time colleagues. “You ready for today?” he questions pointedly.

Yejin smiles brightly, her brown eyes sparkling with the charm she’s known for by all. “You bet.”

Episode start.

“For your next challenge, you will be individually acting out scenes to test your chemistry and performance on camera. As idols, releasing MVs for every comeback is a must and more than one of you will be asked to act in scenes that lend credibility to the song’s story.”

Scenes from the last episode serve to refresh a viewer’s mind of the penultimate challenge; after this there is just one performance left that decides the fate of the final ten girls. The expressions of the contestants as they learn the news is a mixture of dismay and also of relief-- relief that it’s almost over, and dismay that this will be the true ending. Some will have to return back to the companies they’ve taken flight from, and others still will have to linger in the hallways of Royal, their envious eyes tracking the progress of those who have defeated them to take the coveted positions of Luxe’s girl group.

It’s enough pressure to cope with that even So Jisub feels grateful he doesn’t have to endure it himself. Imagine, an elimination show for CEOs. He smiles in amusement, chuckling quietly at the thought even as the camera’s attention focuses elsewhere: specifically, on the well-dressed trio standing to the far left of the stage’s floor. Lights shine down upon them, flattering the handsome faces of Seo Kangjoon and Byun Baekhyun as they stand to either side of the beautiful Royal senior, Han Yejin.

“Welcome to Royal Survival!” she greets the camera with professional flair, all smiles and glancing at both of her co-hosts with acted warmth. “I’m your host, Han Yejin, and I’m joined by--” The boys introduce themselves one by one and So Jisub’s smiles fondly as he looks proudly at these three. Jewels, all of them; one already polished and the other two with so much potential. 

“Without further ado,” Kangjoon begins, “We will introduce the first two contestants!” He and Han Yejin do so, announcing that Ahn Hyojin and Jegal Seoyoung are the first to come to the stage to receive their individual feedback. A second, central camera hones in on the two girls and the director speaks through the earpiece in Jisub’s ear to signal him to begin.

“First of all, I must congratulate you two -- and all of you -- for your professional behavior on the set,” Jisub starts off. “Based on my supervision and also after speaking with Noh Jihoon personally, who had nothing to say but kind things regarding your work ethic, I’m proud of what I’ve seen out of all of you so far. It’s exactly the kind of behavior I expect of future professionals in this industry. Now, with that being said...” The CEO gestures towards the large screen set up behind the girls, where a clip from Elly’s filming appears, ready to be played. “... Let’s see how you did.”

The chosen scene for Elly is the breakup one, in which the audience sees Noh Jihoon partnered up with her, his expression full of confused dismay as the couple begins to yell and fight. The music of “One Spring Day” complements the edited clip but all eyes are on Elly as she bursts into tears after an explosive confrontation and falls to the floor, huddled and sobbing.  The emotions come through clearly and everyone is quiet as Jisub resumes control of attention. “Elly, truthfully… anyone on set could see that particular scene affected you greatly,” he says gently. “I don’t know what personal experience leads to a breakdown like that but, to be called truly acting, it’s better if you are able to separate yourself from the character instead of roleplaying as yourself, as Elly, up there on screen. Still…” He smiles warmly. “I am pleased with this performance. You did well to convey the heartbreak and we all felt it, I’m sure.”

Jegal Seoyoung is up next and Jisub watches critically as the scene unfolds of her gentle moments along with Jihoon as couple. Hugging him, fluttering her eyelashes eyes at him-- all are expressions designed to make the heart flutter, so long as they aren’t perceived as artificial. “Pretty,” Jisub concedes to her. He taps the end of his pen thoughtfully against the surface of the table. “However, Seoyoung, the problem with being too expressive is… funnily, being too expressive. When you were looking at Jihoon and it went to a close-up, your expression went unfocused on him-- which makes one wonder if you were thinking of someone else at the time. Substitution acting is fine but, even with that style, being present in that scene with your fellow actor is beyond important. Chemistry will certainly fade if you’re not connecting with your partner behind the camera. Keep that in mind.”

Jisub dismisses both and leaves it up to Yejin and Baekhyun to introduce the next pair as Jo Eunae and Jung Soojung. The two girls come on stage and the same pattern unfolds as before: watching the scenes before critique is given to each individually. For Eunae’s breakup scene with Jihoon, the CEO’s expression isn’t entirely pleased as the scene concludes on the large screen. He takes a moment to collect his thoughts before saying simply, “Don’t take it too hard, Eunae, since acting is not an easy talent for everyone. For most people, honestly. You did your best and that’s all anyone can ask for.”

For Soojung, the CEO’s mood doesn’t improve in the least. He watches the Soojung on screen’s passive face as she packs her clothes in the suitcase and finds his heart not moving at all to it in reaction. It’s discouraging and he sighs deeply in response. “Soojung…” Jisub calls out, not unkindly, “Like Eunae, this doesn’t seem to be natural ability for you. Truthfully, I wasn’t expecting prodigy-level acting out of any of you but to lack such presence even on camera… is worrisome.” He leaves it at that, leaning back in his seat and dismissing both girls back to their lines before signaling to the MCs to move on.

“A tough run so far, but will there be a winner among the flowers?” Baekhyun asks brightly as he introduces the next pair as Kim Seolhyun and Lee Jihyun. The favoritism of the Royal crew is perceivable as Kangjoon joins in with his own scripted lines, “I think we’re about to see some strong contenders here, Baekhyun! Let’s watch and see.”

If anything, Jisub’s stern expression stays that way as Seolhyun’s scenes are brought up on screen. For his own company trainees, the judgment is a lot tougher, as their acting abilities reflect on Royal’s training capabilities. Elly and Seoyoung had done fine enough, but these two, Seolhyun and Jihyun, had even more to prove to the audience. Seolhyun is up first and Jisub watches impassively as she endures the pain of the breakup scene. Her charisma is as strong as ever but, for the first time, the CEO finds himself disappointed. “It’d be better if you’d actually cried there,” he points out wryly, at the end of the scene. “Overall, not bad, but nobody's gonna believe you lost the love of your life there if you don’t put any real emotions behind it. Look at Elly back there. She lost someone or something and even if it wasn’t Jihoon, we could all see that.”

Jihyun is up next and Jisub finds himself immersed in the breakup scene she portrays on the screen. Her eyes fill up with tears and the CEO feels his own chest getting tight as he watches her mouth the words ‘Please don’t go.’ “Ah, Jihyun, you’re a tough one,” he muses quietly, afterwards. “It’s easy to forget I’m watching an idol on screen when I watch you up there -- the real definition of acting. You did well and I’m content with this. Excellent.”

Yejin uplifts the mood with a smile and a solo introduction of the next two, her favoritism also clear for Royal’s loyal family. Soohyun is shown to her strengths with the cheerful couple scene and Jisub finds himself smiling naturally as he perceives her youthful excitement. She is a pro at acting like herself and it’s a refreshing change from the heavy emotional drama of all the scenes before. “Scenes like this suit you, Soohyun,” he compliments her honestly. “I didn’t think the same of the breakup scene when I was watching you perform on set but… if we were to take this scene alone, I’d say you did a very fine job. I’m pleased.”

Next up is Manoban Lisa and the CEO watches, with growing pleasure, to see her interpretation of the couple scene with Noh Jihoon. There’s visible happiness in her eyes, and a realness of chemistry with Jihoon that had been noticeably lacking in the previous couple scenes. His nod of approval is genuine as the clip concludes. “Well done, Lisa. The best so far. You have some experience in acting already, I take it?” Facts he already knows, of course, but for the benefit of the watching audience, he capitalizes on her strengths. “You’re making my choice very difficult these days… the true wildcard of the bunch.” He smiles at her and that signals to Kangjoon to pick up his cue to continue.

“Now, everyone, we’re almost there!” Kangjoon says enthusiastically. Yejin joins him with an enthusiastic cheer and Baekhyun, too, as all three of them pick one last name to say aloud. Yejin chooses to announce Nam Dawon, Kangjoon chooses Park Chaeyoung, and finally Baekhyun calls for Yang Jiwon to join the others on the stage.

Dawon’s clip is shown first and all watch her on the large screen as she does her best to muster up an emotional performance for the breakup scene. But, like Seoyoung, even as the intent for sincerity is given, it does not translate into a perfect execution. Dawon being one of Jisub’s favorites, he is nevertheless disappointed, albeit not surprised to see this. “As I said before, I didn’t expect any of you to be prodigies at acting right off the bat. Especially when you’re paired up with someone who is a true professional.” Jisub offers up Dawon a compassionate smile. “This isn’t your strength, Dawon, but there’s always things to improve on. It was a good try.”

Rose and Jiwon are the final scenes to be shown to him and Jisub watches both breakup scenes with a typical discerning gaze for critique. What he sees in these scenes, however, takes him aback more than he expects. Rather than acting ability, it’s sincerity that’s portrayed in these scenes and steals his breath away. What could the girls have been thinking about when they huddle down like that and cry so desperately hard? He isn’t one to take a vested interest in his trainees’ personal lives but this has the CEO momentarily concerned, enough for him to make a mental note to have his staff check in on them after the show. If he’s noticed the details in their performances, it’s more than possible the audience will have caught onto it as well. Something he does not want to see talked about on netizen main pages.

 “I can say this has been quite the rollercoaster,” he says aloud, at last. The approving smile on his face says it all as he looks at Jiwon and Rose in turn. “Both of you did extremely well with this. A bit unpolished, the two of you, but we all were expecting that. Still, I’m impressed with you -- and the rest of you -- who didn’t hold back personally with this challenge. Had I suggested this early on, I can only wonder how many of you would have been too shy to show me some real displays of emotion. In the end, many of you gave yourselves to this challenge admirably and it shows. Job well done.”

“Now, I have made my decision.” He had been thinking of eliminations long and hard during the feedback sessions, the thought formulating in his mind and honed down only by the girls’ performances that he’d been witness to before and after this one’s performance. “I’ve said it plenty before and I’ll say it again: You all have done so well to make it this far and I’m proud of each and every one of you. However, now that we are so close to the finale, I must become even more exacting about what I’m looking for in the members of Luxe. This elimination tonight was not solely based on this challenge alone but about things overall--- the group dynamic, your participation in challenges, your relationships with the other girls… all of this mattered.” When the girls are gathered and all lined up on stage, So Jisub locks eyes with Jung Soojung. “Soojung, you will be the one to leave tonight. Thank you for being such a strong competitor all this time. I look forward to seeing how you grow under Baek Jiyoung’s wings again.”

The MCs take over once again, smoothing over the eruption of feelings on stage that result over the elimination result as Yejin speaks up calmly. “There’s just one episode left, right, sajangnim?” she asks brightly and So Jisub nods in acknowledgement. She continues, “What can we expect from it?”

“The girls who are left standing on stage with you will have one more chance to prove themselves to me,” he announces for everyone to hear. The camera focuses directly on his expressionless face as Jisub goes on to explain: “I will now split you into two groups but the catch is -- no one here is in Major or Minor any longer. In my opinion, all of you have ascended to the Major category and all of you have an equal chance to debut in the Luxe I envision. I have divided you now based on who I believe you match up with best and these will be the groups I will consider in the finale as the final Luxe. Of course, a plot twist can always be expected,” he adds on with an amused smile. “Someone truly outstanding may make it into the group no matter which team they’re on now.”

“Your groups are as follows,” Jisub continues. “Group A will be Yang Jiwon, Jo Eunae, Lee Jihyun, Manoban Lalisa, and Lee Soohyun, while Group B will be Park Chaeyoung, Jegal Seoyoung, Kim Seolhyun, Ahn Hyojin, and Nam Dawon.”

End of episode.

EPISODE 7 and 8, Writing Prompt:

Congratulations on reaching the finale episode! It’s been a long, emotional ride and we’ve almost reached the conclusion, thank goodness! You will only have one writing prompt as a result of Episode 7, as Episode 8 will be a reflection of these performances, a recap of everything that’s happened over the show so far and, finally, the best of all -- the results for who will get to debut in Royal’s new girl group, Luxe!

So Jisub has separated the girls into two groups and each group is now expected to perform one group song individually, as well as all ten contestants participating in a full-group ensemble performance to surprise the audience in the last episode. The requirements are as follows:

Group A: Yang Jiwon, Jo Eunae, Lee Jihyun, Manoban Lalisa, Lee Soohyun will be performing to Minx’s “Why Did You Come to My House?”

Group B: Park Chaeyoung, Jegal Seoyoung, Kim Seolhyun, Ahn Hyojin, Nam Dawon. will be performing to Playback’s “Want You to Say”

* As a full ten-member group, you will perform to Nine Muse’s Wild.

In the individual group performances, you may decide as a group on your wardrobe and part distribution with the sole exception of the main rappers. Elly and Eunae must take on the full rap verses provided in the songs. Choreography for all three songs will be provided to you by Yoo Jaekyung and you will be allowed to organize with her the schedule for group rehearsals during the week. Remember, you will only have ONE week to do this. For the full ensemble “Wild” performance, the girls will be asked to wear the original costumes seen in the reference video. Part distribution for the ensemble will be at your discretion but, it should go without saying, play to your strengths!

For this episode’s writing opportunities:

Required: write a 300+ word performance solo about your individual group performance only.

Optional: write a 300+ word preparation solo about preparing for the group performances, whether individual or the ensemble performance. Costume fittings, rehearsals, etc.

Optional: write a 300+ interview solo about your muse reflecting on the entirety of the show so far. You will schedule a time with a producer to oversee this, in which they will provide your muse with a hand-held camera and one hour of film time to talk about whatever you’d like to for the finale. You may choose any location that you wish for this interview - feel free to be creative!

The reward for writing the required solo is +5 SKILL POINTS TO BE DISTRIBUTED AS YOU WISH, +10 CHARISMA POINTS, and +5 DEBUT points, as well earning +1 week of a related PERFORMANCE achievement. Additionally, all girls will automatically receive +1 week VARIETY achievement for being present during Episode 7. Point forms will always be due the Wednesday after a deadline passes; this means for Episode 7, verification forms should be submitted after the Activity Check post on Wednesday, December 6th. These form dates have been added to the writing schedule, so refer to it periodically to make sure everything is being submitted on time!

ROYAL SURVIVAL EPISODE 7 (for the Dec 6th form)

[ x ]  *one 300+ word performance solo

+5 ____ POINTS

+10 CHARISMA POINTS

+ 5 DEBUT POINTS

+1 WK PERFORMANCE ACHIEVEMENT (CURRENT LEVEL + NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN)

+1 WK VARIETY ACHIEVEMENT (CURRENT LEVEL + NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN)

+ NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:

The deadline for all solos is midnight EST at the end of December 3rd, and please tag each solo with #royalsurvival7. If you have any questions, feel free to send them to the Royal Survival inbox!

For the Royal MCs, Byun Baekhyun and Seo Kangjoon, you may use this episode as the proof post of your participation in this event. Please provide this verification form along with your usual workshop forms for the December 6th activity check.

ROYAL SURVIVAL EPISODE 7 (for the Dec 6th form)

[ x ]  * link to this post

+10 CHARISMA POINTS

+ 2 DEBUT POINTS

+1 WK RADIO/TV HOSTING (CURRENT LEVEL + NUMBER OF TIMES TAKEN)

+ NEW DEBUT POINTS TOTAL:

[aion-rsa]

Japan Sinks: 2020 Review (Spoiler-Free)

https://ift.tt/3227Voi

This review is based on all ten half-hour episodes of Japan Sinks: 2020’s first season and contains no spoilers.

“Fingers crossed.”

Oddly enough, people seem to love the idea of the end of the world. Perhaps there’s comfort to be found in the escape to some alternate apocalypse scenario when the real world feels like it’s spinning off its axis. There’s been a growing trend in apocalypse stories where plucky survivors have to band together, form a family, and survive, whether it’s in movies, anime, or video games. Japan Sinks: 2020 strives to be different by its use of shifting perspectives and the amount of ground that it covers.

Japan Sinks: 2020 comes courtesy of the brilliant Masaaki Yuasa, who is easily one of the most exciting names in animation right now. Yuasa consistently reinvents genres and what animation can handle, so him heading into a mature apocalypse drama is incredibly exciting and broaches new territory, both thematically and in a narrative sense for the visionary director. The result is one of the most thought-provoking and accomplished anime of the year.

Based on the novel by Sakyo Komatsu, Japan Sinks: 2020 paints a vivid picture of a nation in danger as the very ground it stands on begins to give out. The series brilliantly takes its time to slowly show how the first signs of this disaster uniquely affect people all over Japan. It’s a comfortable, leisurely pace that’s allowed due to the fact that this is a series and not a film. It’s easy to see why Yuasa was interested in this project for the medium of television. There’s genuine tension that grows out of everyone’s initial naivety to the disaster and how the grim reality of their situation gradually sinks in and infects everyone like a virus.

It’s also genuinely scary once people begin to finally feel the devastation of this incident. Yuasa’s told some fantastical stories in the past, but part of what makes Japan Sinks: 2020 so powerful is that it doesn’t feel that much removed from our reality. The concept hits eerily close to home and is one of the more successful and emotional disaster stories as a result. It almost feels like a work of Stephen King in terms of its scope and large cast. Japan Sinks: 2020 proves that there’s no monster more frightening than Earth itself and no force more powerful than the human spirit.

Japan Sinks: 2020 looks at this disaster on global level, but it narrows in on the Mutoh family, which consists of teenager Ayumu, her younger brother, and her mom and dad. There’s a moment early on in the series, but it becomes a recurring motif, where the Mutoh family wants to take a picture of themselves after the earthquakes begin to hit. The idea of commemorating this occasion is pointed out to be ludicrous, but it doesn’t matter to them since they’re all in it together. The framing of the photo only allows the perfection of the Mutoh family to get in and the terrible reality of the world is confined to beyond the frame. 

At the same time, it’s fascinating to see stress fester within the Mutoh family and wear down on the members in contrasting ways as their group goes through various changes. The most beautiful episode of the whole series slows things down and allows Ayumu and her brother, Go, to really connect as siblings and reminisce over simpler times after everything that they’ve experienced. It’s brutal to see these bonds get frayed, but they’re all moments that are deeply honest and show the pains of grief. The series definitely speaks to the idea that beauty can be born from out of destruction. 

Japan Sinks: 2020 ricochets between optimistic and traumatic, but also highlights how thin the line is between these two extremes. The series feels incredibly appropriate for these current times, even if it does have to wade through some depressing and heart-wrenching material to reach the brighter moments. In addition to the core family dynamic, the Mutohs pick up a roving number of people in their party as they continue to move across the broken country. These guests that come and go add both variety and suspense to the mix as the Mutoh family are put in difficult positions.

Japan Sinks: 2020 builds towards powerful emotional set pieces that rival some of the best moments from Yuasa’s previous works. The depth that he’s able to capture in a television series like this hopefully means that he’ll be able to do another Netflix collaboration soon to complete the “trilogy” that he started with this and Devilman Crybaby. Yuasa’s animation style typically skews more towards the extreme, but in Japan Sinks: 2020 he captures a stunning realism with the locations in Japan that he focuses on here. There are plenty of sequences that take the time to appreciate gorgeous sunrises and sunsets that take place over the world, pre- and post-disaster. 

Yuasa is known for breaking convention and embracing the surreal, but it’s really effective to see these areas depicted in stunning glory before they’re then ruined through devastation. It helps the audience appreciate what gets lost on a level that’s deeper than purely the story beats and the sensational premise. While Japan Sinks: 2020 is definitely one of Yuasa’s more restrained works in terms of the art style, there are still tiny bursts of flair where it’s appropriate, like how the story occasionally gains the aesthetic of a video game when Go’s imagination gets the better of him.

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Japan Sinks: 2020 doesn’t forget that it’s a disaster series. There are many moments that feel like they’re from straight out of a horror series as the threats begin to grow and become more intense. It’s like a domino effect of disasters or some kind of Biblical curse. Right after everyone is grateful to survive a disaster, the environmental causal effects of it will trigger another accident that they then need to endure. It truly speaks to how terrifying it is that the planet is so fragile in many ways. 

There’s a surprising turn that’s taken in the second episode that literally took my breath away and shows that this series isn’t messing around. These gut punch surprises soon become regular experiences in each episode. Much like how disasters can strike randomly and without warning in real life, Japan Sinks: 2020 hits hard and when it’s least expected, which gives the series a terrifying bite. There are times when humanity plummets and embraces its darker instincts, which are just as scary as the natural disaster at hand. Japan is sinking, but maybe it deserves to be. 

Japan Sinks: 2020 is a thoroughly enjoyable journey that’s’ satisfying in the way that the best disaster stories are, but also features so many creative examples of connection and family. It finds ways to use things like freestyle rap or Morse code as cathartic tools and it arrives at an ending that it’s hard to not be moved by. Japan Sinks: 2020 is not Yuasa’s best work, but it feels like an incredibly appropriate project to come out at the moment. It’s full of heart and innovation, plus it tackles many questions that are on the public’s mind right now. 

Japan Sinks: 2020 is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Japan Sinks: 2020 Review (Spoiler-Free) appeared first on Den of Geek.

from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/3edCLwz

[mrmichaelchadler]

Home Entertainment Consumer Guide: January 24, 2018

4 New to Netflix

"Abducted in Plain Sight" "American Gangster" "The Fighter" "Solo: A Star Wars Story"

6 New to Blu-ray/DVD

"4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days" (Criterion)

Criterion has taken some deserved flak over the last few years for its catalog's heavy focus on Western European and American filmmakers. They've endeavored to expand their vision over the last couple years with more directors from countries other than France and the United States. I'm particularly happy to see them embracing the work of Romanian Cristian Mungiu, whose "Graduation" and "Beyond the Hills" were recently inducted into the most elite Blu-ray/DVD club in the world. Now they get to his breakthrough (and still best) film, the 2007 winner of the Palme d'Or. With new interviews and a new transfer, the time is right to reappraise one of the most acclaimed works of the '00s.

Buy it here 

Special Features New 4K digital restoration, supervised and approved by director Cristian Mungiu, with 5.1 surround DTS-HD Master Audio soundtrack on the Blu-ray New interview with Mungiu New interview with film critic Jay Weissberg on the New Romanian Cinema The Romanian Tour, a short documentary from 2007 on the film’s reception in Romania Press conference from the 2007 Cannes Film Festival, featuring Mungiu; director of photography Oleg Mutu; and actors Laura Vasiliu, Vlad Ivanov, and Alexandru Potocean Alternate and deleted scenes Trailer New English subtitle translation PLUS: An essay by critic Ella Taylor

"First Man"

Way back in September 2018, it seemed almost certain that we would get a repeat of the 2016 race for major awards wit "La La Land" and "Moonlight." The directors of both films were returning with their anticipated follow-ups and audiences in places like Venice and Toronto were going crazy for both "If Beale Street Could Talk" and "First Man." Five months later, neither director nor picture landed Oscar nods, although it almost feels like a positive for both. Now history will fully regard "First Man" as an underrated drama, a movie that deftly conveys the true danger and heroism of the space race with amazing technical elements and tight, confident direction. The film looks incredible at home, and sounds even better. A decade or so, people will be surprised it didn't win multiple Oscars, much less get nominated. 

Buy it here 

Special Features Deleted Scenes Shooting for the Moon – Take an intimate look at the production of First Man and the collaborative relationship between Director Damien Chazelle and Ryan Gosling. Preparing to Launch – It's difficult to believe that First Man is the first major feature film to tell the journey to Apollo 11. Hear from Director Damien Chazelle and his cast why now is the time to tell the story of this historic event. Giant Leap in One Small Step – A heroic character study, First Man sheds light on all the hard working individuals that got us to the moon and back. Mission Gone Wrong – Watch as Ryan Gosling reenacts a test piloting sequence gone terribly wrong. Go behind the scenes to see how he trained to nail the landing, performing the majority of his own stunts. Putting You In the Seat – Through the use of innovative technology, most of First Man was shot in-camera. Take an in-depth look behind the lens of this epic film. Recreating the Moon Landing – Filmed in IMAX to show the vastness of the moon, find out all that it took to recreate the most famous moment in NASA history. Shooting at NASA – Hear from Ryan Gosling and Director Damien Chazelle on how shooting at NASA brought unparalleled authenticity to First Man. Astronaut Training – Go behind the scenes of the three day boot camp each of the actors underwent prior to filming First Man. Feature Commentary with Director Damien Chazelle, Screenwriter Josh Singer and Editor Tom Cross

"Halloween"

I'll never forget the buzz in the room at the World Premiere of "Halloween" back in September. I'll also never forget that sinking feeling in my stomach, relatively early, when I realized the film just doesn't work. Yes, I'm in the minority here, and I love that people are taking to the story of Michael Myers again (also Jamie Lee Curtis rules) but this is a case of hype and marketing leading viewers to see something that just isn't there. Actually it's more the power of nostalgia, like when you hear a new album from a band you loved when you were a kid, refusing to realize that they've lost a beat and don't write songs like they used to. Again, I'm happy "Halloween" was a hit. I just wish it was a better movie. 

Buy it here 

Special Features Deleted/Extended Scenes Back in Haddonfield: Making Halloween The Original Scream Queen The Sound of Fear Journey of the Mask The Legacy of Halloween

"The Hate U Give"

George Tillman Jr.'s adaptation of the hit novel works because of how much the director trusts his cast, particularly Amandla Stenberg and Russell Hornsby, to overcome the inherent cliches in the narrative. Tillman is careful to make his film both incredibly timely and yet also embedded with themes of inequity and protest that reflect the history of injustice and the civil rights movement. And yet, most of all, this is a story about people. Tillman recognizes that if we come to believe in and care for the characters than the messages will come from them, organically and far more powerfully. This is a movie that should have made more money and received more critical attention. It certainly will on DVD.

Buy it here 

Special Features Extended scenes: Maverick and Seven Protecting Their Home Uprising Seven's Graduation Featurettes: Starting a Conversation The Talk Code Switching The Heart of Georgia Thank U Georgia Starr: Shine Your Light Audio Commentary by George Tillman, Jr., Amandla Stenberg, Russell Hornsby, Angie Thomas and Craig Hayes

"Notorious" (Criterion)

The Criterion choices from the historic career of Alfred Hitchcock are always interesting. Probably at least in part due to ownership, Criterion hasn't been releasing the "hits" like "Vertigo," "Psycho," or "The Birds," bringing home some of what could be called the less-popular Hitch films like "The 39 Steps," "The Lady Vanishes," and this gorgeous 4K restoration of the incredible "Notorious." Don't get me wrong. "Notorious" has its diehard fans, but it's just not on cable as much as, say, "Rear Window." And so it's nice to see what could be called underrated Hitch being given the lavish, Criterion treatment. Like so much Hitchcock, "Notorious" is a film that gets better with each viewing. 

Buy it here 

Special Features New 4K digital restoration, with uncompressed monaural soundtrack on the Blu-ray Audio commentaries from 1990 and 2001 featuring film historian Rudy Behlmer and Alfred Hitchcock scholar Marian Keane New interview with Hitchcock biographer Donald Spoto New program about the film’s visual style with cinematographer John Bailey New scene analysis by film scholar David Bordwell Once Upon a Time . . . “Notorious,” a 2009 documentary about the film featuring actor Isabella Rossellini; filmmakers Peter Bogdanovich, Claude Chabrol, and Stephen Frears; and others New program about Hitchcock’s storyboarding and previsualization process by filmmaker Daniel Raim Newsreel footage from 1948 of actor Ingrid Bergman and Hitchcock Lux Radio Theatre adaptation of Notorious from 1948, starring Bergman and Joseph Cotten Trailers and teasers PLUS: An essay by critic Angelica Jade Bastién

"Once Upon a Deadpool"

Well, this is a weird one. So much of the success of "Deadpool" and "Deadpool 2" has been built around the fact that it is the only major R-rated superhero franchise. So what does Fox do? Release a PG-13 version! At least you have to give them some points for creativity, as they didn't just release a censored version but shot some new footage with Fred Savage that spoofs "The Princess Bride." Still, the foul mouth and disturbing references are part of the charm of Wade Wilson, and so a PG-13 version of him feels inherently flawed. It's the kind of thing that may have made for fun special feature on a Special Edition, but you have to be a diehard Deadpool fan to add this one to your collection. 

But it here 

Special Features None...but the movie is kind of a special feature itself

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[writemarcus]

MEET THE CAST: “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU” EXCLUSIVE!

Nearly 80 years after it took The Great White Way by storm, You Can’t Take It With You—the timeless comedic three-act play by George S. Kaufman and Moss Hart—will start previews on August 26 at the Longacre Theatre. Passport reporter Marcus Scott sat down with members of the cast and creative team of the now-iconic stage play during a one-hour photo call prior to rehearsal to talk about the play, its messages, family, race relations and the legacy of the celebrated show.

“This is play is that is very insulated,” Crystal A. Dickinson (who plays Rheba) proclaimed. “So everything takes place within this house and it seems to me that family has found a way to live in love and joy and in peace in the midst of whatever is going on outside the door. It’s a very interesting play because you don’t even get a sense of what’s going on outside of the door. Maybe that’s why won the Pulitzer.”

You Can’t Take It with You received the Pulitzer Prize for Drama in 1937. Actor-director Ellis Rabb resuscitated the play on Broadway in 1983 with a multiple award-winning all-star cast that included George Rose, Jason Robards, Elizabeth Wilson and “The Queen of Off-Broadway,” Colleen Dewhurst. The Kaufman and Hart effort was to be revived in 2010 with producer Elizabeth I. McCann at the helm and a supposedly scheduled pre-Broadway run at the Huntington Theater Company in Boston. (It’s rumored that the original producers couldn’t raise the funds and either lost or relinquished the rights to the show). Directed by six-time Tony nominee Scott Ellis, this will be the first time in over three decades that Kaufman-Hart kitchen sink epic will get the green light on Broadway.

Two-time Tony Award winner James Earl Jones, who plays the role of Grandpa Vanderhof—the snake-raising, income tax-evading patriarch of the eccentric New York City-based Sycamore family—returns to the Broadway stage after garnishing praise in Alfred Uhry’s Driving Miss Daisy opposite Vanessa Redgrave and Boyd Gaines at the Golden Theatre, and gaining another Tony nomination for his part as President Art Hockstader in the 2012 Broadway revival of Gore Vidal’s The Best Man.

Inquiring minds wanted to know if the spry 83-year-old thespian had anything to say to Australian actress Rose Byrne, who will be making her Broadway debut this fall. Jones, however, feels he has very little wisdom to give.

“They know more than I do. I can’t give them advice because I’ll get in the way of their light, their creativity. A director can, but a fellow actor can’t,” Jones explained. “I sometimes go, “You know, what? I didn’t know that was in your character! I didn’t know that’s what that line meant!”

“Rose is going to be wonderful,” Jones expressed. Byrne, known mostly for her TV and film appearances in Damages, Insidious and Bridesmaids, joins a plethora of movie stars making a splash on The Great White Way.

“It’s such an honor to sit around the table and discuss the text with these actors,” the two-time Golden Globe and Emmy nominated actress explained. “It’s so nice to be a part of a show that’s really about love, you know? I’ve been doing rambunctious comedies and dramas like Damages, so it’s lovely to do this. I have so much respect for Broadway actors and what they do.”

Some actors are adjusting not only between mediums, but also between eras.

“You know, I’ve had a lovely transition from the world of present-day London and living as a feisty factory girl in Kinky Bootsand then I got to go to L.A. to shoot the second season of Masters Of Sex [which takes place in 1960], where I’ve been playing Betty, the sassy-salty former hooker. And now I’m going back another 30 years to 1936 to play a beautiful, child-like role of Essie—the blissfully ignorant bad ballet dancer,” said Tony-nominated actress Annaleigh Ashford. “She thinks she’s amazing but she sucks a little.”

“I am a dancer, but it’s actually harder to dance bad than it is to dance good, so I’ve been trying to get in shape for that,” she confessed. Ashford was once a LES club scene regular and entourage for nightlife personality Lady Starlight. “I will absolutely use my days as a disco performance artist go-go dancer in my bad dancing. It all comes together.”

Tony-nominated comedienne Kristine Nielsen, who wowed audiences in Christopher Durang’s Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike last year, noted that jumping ship from that production to this one wasn’t has hard as many believe. Nielsen, who channeled Maggie Smith in her last Broadway show, say she’s channeling her mother in this one. “I grew up in the sixties in D.C, and an African American man came to paint our house and he was going through trouble and mom was like, “Oh sit down…” He lived with us for 35 years, never paid anything, he went to all of our events and in a time when that was…” she searched to find the words. “You know what I mean? It taught me to open my heart up to new experiences and people… I don’t know anybody doing that now.”

Amen, sister.

You Can’t Take It With You Longacre Theatre 220 West 48th Street Previews begin August 26.

Marcus Scott, an MFA graduate of NYU Tisch, is a playwright, musical theater writer and journalist whose work has appeared in Elle, Out, Essence, Uptown, Trace, Giant, Hello Beautiful and EDGE Media Network.