#my life woulda been miserable

[dearno-0ne]

imagine letting your mum control your whole life… including your love life 😭

[kindacreepy-kindaugly]

So. Turns out he hates me (in part) cause I'm the reason he's here

[integra1127grimmreaper]

Don't Sound Like You (Joel Miller)

Joel Miller Masterlist

Series Masterlist

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Warning: lots of feelings and some swearing

Summary: Pt6 of Should Probably Leave. You find yourself turning to the person that had always been your source of comfort. Inspired by - Lee Brice's - That Don't Sound Like You.

Joel was doing his best to distract himself from the heartache of losing you by throwing himself deep into work and with being a good parent to Sarah, and to the outside world it seemed to be working but truth was he was failing miserably. You were never far from his mind, especially when he was around your family. He had tried his best to distance himself from them, but your father wasn't having any of it. If Joel didn't know any better, it seemed as though he was aware of the situation and was attempting to push Joel into going after you. Always bringing you up in a discussion and making sure to clearly state his dislike for your fiancé. Joel always did his best to keep his feeling intact during it, but when your father had recently mentioned that your calls home had become less and less these past four months; round about the time you had moved in with Tom, now that, that didn't seem right with him. That just wasn't like you at all.

You knew this was a bad idea, but it was nothing compared to having agreed to marry Tom.

He was always the person you could go to whenever in need, and you desperately needed someone to talk with.

"Hello?" a voice answers the phone on the overside.

"Joel..."

"Y/N...?" he responds a bit confused at your tone of voice.

You remain silent for a moment, finally speaking, "yes, it's me..."

"Didn't recognized ya voice for a sec there..." Joel remarks in response, "and ya callin' from a landline?"

"Oh... I'm calling from work..." you stammer out, silently praying that he doesn't pick up on anything.

"K... what can I do for ya?" Joel enquires, sensing something must be amiss for you to be calling him of all people.

"Just thought I would call to hear how everyone was doing" you stammer in response, "h-how's Sarah?"

"Um, she's good..." Joel cautiously answers, something didn't seem right with how well your words were compose. Deciding then to just straight out address it, "graduating soon. Then again, ya woulda known by speaking with ya folks."

"Yeah- mom spoke about it during conversation last week..."

Girl, I'm glad you called, first heard you talk Took me a second 'cause I couldn't hear your drawl And that don't sound like you No, that don't sound like you

I know it's been a while, I don't mean to pry But when I asked you if you're happy I didn't hear a smile And that don't sound like you No, that ain't the girl I knew, you always sounded like

Truck tires on a gravel road Laughing at the world, blasting my radio Cannonballs splashing in the water Doing whatever whenever you wanted What did he do? 'Cause you don't sound like you any more

*

Joel lets out a disappointed breath, "Sweetheart... be honest."

"I-I don't know what you mean..."

"Y/N, I know ya ain't spoken to ya folks in a while. What's goin' on?"

"Joel..." you finally sigh in defeat, "I don't know what to do."

"'Bout what? Ya know ya can always talk to me 'bout what's buggin' ya."

"That was before..." you stammer, "you're with Tess now, Joel and I'm with Tom. We shouldn't even be talking. I shouldn't have-"

"Tess and I ain't together no more" Joel hastily confesses.

"What...?" your drops as you nearly drop the phone in shock.

"We broke up not long after Sarah's party" Joel explains.

"W-Why?"

"'Cause we came to the realization that I was still deeply in love you."

"Joel..."

"No, let me finish" Joel cuts you off, "if I don't say this now, I'll regret it for the rest of my life."

"Ok" you breathe out heavily.

"I love you, Y/N, always have... you've always been the love of my life."

Tears began forming in your eyes at his words, "then why did you make me go away from home?"

"Thought I was doin' what was best for ya..." Joel sighs in response, "you were still so young, had ya whole life ahead of ya. I didn't want to hold ya back from enjoying life."

"You fuckin' idiot..." you whimper out through the tears, "you and Sarah were my life. I only left 'cause I thought you didn't want and then got involved with Tom, 'cause you were with Tess."

"I was a damn fool, I know" Joel agrees, "was gonna tell ya at ya parent's anniversary party, then I chickened out. Finally, was gonna come clean at Thanksgiving, then I walked in on ya celebrating ya engagement."

"Joel, if only you had told me..."

"Don't do it! Don't marry him!" Joel pleads with you then.

"Joel..."

"Just answer truthfully, do you love him?" Joel puts forth.

"I..." you find yourself unable to answer.

"Are you even happy, Sweetheart?" Joel continues to press and again, you find yourself at lost for words.

"K, then just answer this last one, do you love me?"

"Yes" the word easily passes through your lips.

"That's all that matters then" Joel states matter-of-factly.

"I-I need some time to process all of this..." you sigh, conflicted by everything that has come to light.

"That's fair enough" Joel agrees, "take ya time, Sweetheart. Just remember, I'll be here waitin' for ya and if ya need me in anyway; I'll come for ya..."

That town, that job, that guy You can leave them behind, girl, you know you're better than that If you want to come back, you can come back Baby, come back to

Truck tires on a gravel road Laughing at the world, blasting my radio Cannonballs splashing in the water Doing whatever whenever you wanted What did he do? 'Cause you don't sound like you Give me the girl I knew 'Cause you don't sound like you any more Mm, any more 

NXT

[tideswept]

THROWING TOMATOS AT YOU FOR THAT CHAPTER /positive

OK, OK, WAIT. WAIT. STOP. THOSE TOMATOES ARE GOOD FOR SAUCE! MAKE SAUCE, NOT WAR.

a-and in my defense, that chapter was going to be... really, really, REALLY different, originally. Like, completely new fic levels of different. Y'all woulda murdered me in cold blood if I'd done it...

(Some revelations are still relevant to the fic as a whole, so I'll put it under a cut to avoid spoilers.)

The original was going to be angsty, y'all. But, you know, still with a happy ending. Just. Kind of rough.

Obi-Wan and Anakin's scene was going to go into Anakin confessing that he's known they were mates since he hit puberty, and was therefore aware that he'd be an omega. But then Obi-Wan avoided him (them) and left, and he kept waiting, hoping, subconsciously pushing off his presentation until he couldn't suppress it anymore.

And still, Obi-Wan didn't give him the time of the day.

Obi-Wan is not pleased by this being dumped on him. He doesn't believe in mates, and he's definitely not freaking out that apparently Anakin has spent more than half a decade waiting for him, no sir. Absolutely not.

Which leads him to decide that the best option here is to leave. Anakin will figure out he was wrong, things will go on as they're supposed to. And he doth verily fuck off for years, doing Jedi Things anywhere but Coruscant.

Until the Force is like, "Hey. You might want to go back. Just a suggestion." in its usual cryptic way of 👏SOMETHING. 👏 IS. 👏HAPPENING 🚨🚨🚨

Which he ignores after checking with the Council that everything is good, everything's great. Anakin's even succeeded at his trials and will be knighted soon. Obi-Wan's plan to remove himself from the situation is working out great.

It's just so great. He doesn't feel miserable and cowardly at all. He's getting SO much sleep at night, you guys.

The Force: 😒 fuck it, I tried. You're on your own, Kenobi.

and what scares him the most is that suddenly everything stops. The bad dreams, the worry, the sense that something is wrong. Just a constant blaring in the back of his mind and then silence.

So he returns to Coruscant, to confirm that everything is a-ok. Only to run into Qui-Gon who is like "Oh. Well. This is... some awkward timing."

And it's awkward because, as he finds out, Anakin decided that being an omega is actually really shitty if he's just going to have a bull's eye painted on his back for the rest of his life (and hey, his mate rejected him, so like... fuck it). Having no secondary gender at all is much more practical as a Jedi Knight.

And it's not that Obi-Wan arrives in time to have mixed feelings about this and weigh whether he has the right to say anything to Anakin about this decision. Oh no; it's already done by the time he arrives back in Coruscant. Anakin's no longer an omega.

And now Obi-Wan has to deal with that.

(and THAT would have been the cliffhanger of ch4)

[greenvertumna]

Look you can say I’m a Vace fan just bc I think he’s hot and I won’t even straight up deny it bc he kinda looks like a space jason todd (tho…my feelings towards jason todd aren’t really straightforward attraction either they’re like…self-insert/i relate with this guy even though my life is very different from his so…idk) but frankly I just have a very protective feeling over him. Like I’m not old enough to be a mentor but like…an older sibling figure?

Like…if I did a self-insert character in the verse I’d choose to be to Vace what Kom was to Nem. Like I woulda been his friend but older and wiser and I would’ve CALLED fucking…helio CPS on his parents and maybe he wouldn’t have had such a lonely miserable time growing up. And then I would have tragically died when the helio crashed.

…No fuck that, I would be unconscious for about a year and then Sol would get to meet me when I healed up. And I would be in a wheelchair for the rest of the game bc this game needs more disability representation but I’d be super interested in Vertumna and ask for stories from all the expeditions peeps. And idk maybe fall in love with Utopia but I’d be ace kinda like nomi. Maybe I’d be friends with her too though a little more aligned with the garrison and…oops i made an oc post over

[kierancampire]

I dunno if this is right wing of me, maybe

Preemptively I wanna say, obviously I was homeless twice and had nothing, so I had to ask people for support, I tried avoiding asking for money directly and instead asked for spare clothes, dishes, cutlery and such. But I get being in a desperate situation of need. Also, I know not working due to mental/physical health, I technically in a sense do rely on others charity through government funding supported by taxes, it is one of many things I hate about this life. I am no where near financially stable, hell, I keep going over each month, things are still scary, I feel they always will be, life for me isn't fun, carefree, or easy, I'm constantly stressed about money and my future due to the life I have lived, I have no more safety nets now, I'm fucked if I fall again

I just am kinda sick of seeing people ask for support financially though. If it is one time, I totally get it, people have times of need, shit goes wrong in life, life is a challenge and unfair, it isn't nice and feels awful, but it's understandable when people need to ask for aid sometimes. However. My issue is when people do it on a literally monthly basis, especially when they don't ask for a little bit, but want money in the multiple hundreds

I just saw a post that, to me, was even worse, as not only was it from someone who I have seen repeatedly ask for money, but she made it all about her kids and it being money needed to feed/clothe her kids. Which not only to me is kinda manipulative, but if you are so broke that you constantly need to ask for 200-600 a month, every month, to feed and clothe your children. You shouldn't have had kids. It is not fair on your kids, it is not fair on the people's charity you consistently rely on, and it isn't fair on you, to be in such a poor financial situation yet have kids. I was fucking miserable not having pets, but I only get them when I could finally afford them, as it wasn't fair on any of us to get pets when I was in such a bad situation, and yes, I still sorta struggle now, but it woulda been impossible before

If you have to constantly ask for money in the multiple 100's, consistently. You need to look at what changes you can make in your life and about your situation. It is not fair or right to constantly beg people for so much money. A large amount of your "income" and means of survival shouldn't be hoping and relying on donations from others. Especially when life is shit for everyone currently

Like I said, I know this is probably right wing of me. But I get so fucking sick of seeing people in my life share these posts, especially when they are from the same few people over and over. But also, coming from a poor, neglected, and abused child? I feel fucking awful for the children involved, and plainly feel the parents shouldn't have had them if they were in such a shit situation. It is not fair on the kids

[laloward]

brooo when i went to my dentist and got x rays of my wisdom teeth they were like um well theyre coming in straight but we just dont know yet if we need to get them out so come back in like a year. and i was like ok. but then they gradually started coming in and i was getting fucking headaches nearly every day and i could FEEL the tension coming from my teeth so "waiting and seeing" was making me fucking miserable. after months of having a near constant headache we went to some guy who i think does way more complicated jaw surgery all the time and he looked at my xrays and was like oh yeah lol i can get those teeth out easy. and then i got my wisdom teeth out (babys first surgery in their life actually). and its been a few days and the teeth holes have been hurting in recovery but im noticing a drastic reduction in headaches... who woulda fuckin thought huh

[princess-pill-enjoyer]

life's been okay. nothing special. days just keep on going. ive had a job for bout 2 weeks. ig thats not really an achievement tbh.

before this, that work from home place i was barely working, prolly 5-10 hours a week. and i'd slither out of those where possible anyway. this one week i worked a whopping 2 hours within 2 weeks. I was planning on killing myself and occasionally tried to all throughout having those jobs so i wasn't really worried about the consequences

before that the only other in person job i had was for my ex best friend. she worked there so i applied and got a job o work with her. only for her to quit 2 weeks after i got in whiich lead me to quit prolly a week n a half later cause i finally got fed up with the manager.

so now, even tho it ain't the longest ive held down a place, its the first that i really cared to put in effort to hold a job.

im semi celebrating but im honestly miserable. my feet hurt so fucking bad so it literally doesnt matter how good my hours are i never want to leave my bed. the people up there are so cliquey and on my 2nd day out of training one of my coworkers went off on me for going too slow and "not putting in my part". theyre starting to give me longer and longer shifts. i went from working 3-4 8 hour shifts per week to working 3 doubles just like that. they sooo generously give an hour and a half break in between the 6:30-3 and 4:30-8 shift but.. who in their right mind is even leaving atp? i live too far for that. i'd be home for at most an hour. waste of gas.

and to me what's worse, this whole situation is exactly what i've been avoiding. i knew it'd come down to this someday. but what alternative do i have?

HA. you know as a kid, i never understood addiction. I never thought I'd have to deal with it. By the time I was 8 I knew I'd kill myself someday. if i ever felt bad, that'd be what i'd do. no need to force myself to do something i didnt really wanna do. but now it seems so easy. i don't know what i wanna do from here. i hate my job. i hate my home life. i dont like to talk to my friends anymore. im bored of games. im bored of music. bored of tv.

whisking the days away doing what i have to would be a lot easier if i didnt have to be fully present for all of this. just something to pass the time until i have a better handle on what's the next move. right now, the only thing i can do is save up money. i have shit to pay off if i wanna keep a good credit score and i have things i need to buy. what's me hating every second gonna change?

though i know it's a slippery slope. abusing shit aint gon work out as smooth as I wish it would. I'll get addicted and then I'll get used to feeling that way so it'll take more for me not to get annoyed. then it'll turn back to me immediately running back to it for every minor situation. and honestly with the job i got i'd just have to hope i would be able to push through it without it being noticeable

i'm not happy i stopped. i feel like had i still been on dph i would've known for a fact how to make myself look normal. i could be gone out my mind but long as i get the shit right i could just daze through the days. but ya know. now. i ratted myself out

and now im stuck.

nothing more for me to do. nothing else i could be doing. nothing else i should be worried about other than making money

I never understood why adults always told me i'd miss being a kid since i was always struggling so bad. all they ever said is that my problems then were gonna feel like nothing once i was an adult. but they were wrong. i guess for now. but all i wish now is that i used all that freetime back when nooo one woulda suspected anything if i was away for a lil while. back when i wasnt ful grown and it'd prolly take a whooole lot less to finish the job

but here we are. forced to keep going and doing what i can to suppress what i really wanna do

ah speaking of which... i got pissed the other day and i tossed one of my drawers and broke it. then broke my bottle for my vitamins by throwing it to the ground. then i accidentally knocked over this container of beads and instead of just sweeping it back into the thing and reducing the mess, i just kicked it as hard as i could and tore the container apart. there's still beads everywhere

that is something i can't force myself to contain anymore. everything else i've been dealing with fine but when im pissed im pissed. i gotta get that under control too

[tododeku-or-bust]

I have a question about the mafia au! How is it gonna be different from what you've originally had in mind?

🤣 I appreciate you for entertaining my corny ass, I really do.

Well! At first I approached it from a Godfather sort of deal, but like modern-esque. I've been studying movies involving organized crime to see how I felt about certain ideas, and by far that is my favorite influence. But then I just. Idk I didn't find myself liking my story idea, at least not in a "this will have a happy ending" way, bc that's kind of the joy of the Godfather series- witnessing the tragic rise and fall of Michael Corleone. And so if I wanted this story to end sadly, that woulda been a great parallel (Patroclus leaving bc he's gone too far vs Michael's wife leaving him? The third movie where hes trying to fix it all and his daughter is murdered right in front of him vs Achilles losing Phi, the one spot of innocence in his life? Chef's kiss, 1 of 1). But I don't think folks want that, and more importantly that's not necessarily how I wanted it to end.

I wanted this to be a bit more... lighthearted? Kind of a "dark AU" but instead of it being miserable and brooding and/or dubcon fic type dark AU it's more "yay we're morally dubious and don't care" kind of deal. The fantasy of spending dirty money and spilling blood without the "you're going to jail" aspect.

So then, once my partner suggested we watch John Wick, I got kind of excited about the concept of the Hotel Management, as I'd had a similar idea. The "this place is neutral ground, all murder occurs outside". Because that's cool right? I found myself leaning towards more action, less mafia. But that was also...not necessarily fun to write. JW does not have a big brain plot lmao, but there are aspects of angst I certainly pulled ideas from.

That lead me towards the idea of a Casino AU. A casino has elements of all of these things. The dirty money, the gambling, the organized crime, the action, and the one simple location for it all to occur. Now, the thing is, I'm not good at math. I am not great at card games. At all. So it's gonna require some studying to figure out how to do that.

(I also have a real world certificate to study for starting September so I now have less time to commit to studying for this lmao)

In summary, it's going to be more of a Casino AU than it is a serious, slower, singular mafia family business centered au, mainly bc i find myself drawn to this new idea more. I feel like I write very serious things often, and while I do enjoy that, perhaps I would like to indulge in a little bit of disbelief suspension myself while still delivering a short story (and trust me, the hurt/comfort will be there).

[kingwolfie08]

ae

so i somehow (actually i know how my art is saved, afterall i tend to use discord a lot, and i show a lot of my art on there in one of my friends servers.) have some of my older artwork save, and i feel like showing some of my good drawings here, or drawings i made, that i just like in general.

anyways the first drawing:

so this ones actually pretty old, because of the artstyle and because i still used my full username, instead of the kw that i use today. also this oc is named anti, and its just a version of a different oc i came up with afew years ago. anyways, the artstyle in this drawing was actually mainly inspired by gooseworx artstyle, and i didn't really want to draw this, but i did. i also have a lot more drawings that were made in this artstyle, but they aren't as decent as this one. plus i did change it after awhile, to i think an artstyle inspired by vivzipop, but i dont really remeber.

anyways next drawing:

this is actually a somewhat kinda more reasont drawing, and its also just a redraw of an older drawing i did of this oc. also if your wondering, there name is lowfoxxo (low-fox-o) and i dont exactly remeber how i came up with the oc's design. also a lot of people mistaken there tail as a sythe, so instead of being mad at them for making that mistake, i actually gave them a sythe (well, not in this drawing, but i might draw them with a sythe someday.) theres also a shaded version of this drawing, but i just prefer this version over the other.

anyways next drawing:

this is honestly just a random beta wobbledog sketch, that i liked a lot. and then i gave it a piece of weat and named it wambus, because i fought it would make it more perfect. and it did.

anyways last drawing:

this is actually the first drawing of an axolotl ive ever done, so im happy it turned out well.

and those are all the drawings i feel like showing rn. i woulda honestly shown more, if this stupid website would stop randomly removing the drawings ive been adding. but because tumblr is tumblr, it has to make my life miserable (thats a joke, tumblr is a fine app/website.).

[cry-of-the-winged]

Since I doubt anybody who actually knows my ass is keeping tabs on this thin' n ain't fer a while, I'ma just write shit here. Cuz fuck it, I'm drunk, I'm tired, n I'm sick a just bitchin' ta some stupid phone note app tryna pretend like that'll make everythin' okay. This is a fuckin' blog n dammit I'ma scream ta the void if it kills me. Feels a lil like all I got left anyway; a goddamn void.

Damn suicidal ideation. They don't really explain that one, in my experience. Ideations ta mean ideas, right? So ur brain's just havin' the idea bout killin' urself. Well fuck, that ain't that hard ta have, right? Lotta people get that either as a relic from their high school days or from readin' jokes on the internet or just as a passin' idea that ain't meanin' shit. Sounds pretty fuckin' mundane n the way I've seen professionals respond ta it in the past? I'd think they'd agree.

But idk when it's serious. Like, yeh, my head jumps ta dyin' if I think bout how trapped I feel in the day ta day life n how dead-end everythin' feels. Fuck, just the phrase "dead-end" feels like it implies death right there, but I get it, it's a stretch. Figure a speech, whatev. But it does, it's all dead-end, or least shit-end. N when I look at how every domino placed day by day goes, it feels like I'm lined up ta suffer. Some a those lil shits I put there myself too. Like I'm revvin' up ta end up like my parents; miserable, hatin' each other, n stuck. Already 2/3rds the way there n I'm terrified a the day I get the last third.

Cuz wtf do I got goin' here? Superficial shit I don't even give a fuck bout. Nothin' feels real, like it's all cotton n haze. I'm terrified a the future, the past gnaws on me like a parasite, n the present is a confusin' maze of tests I keep failin'. I lost a girl I loved ta what essentially feels like my damn doppelganger n I fuckin flat out held her hand helpin' her do it, knowin' full well what happens when friends r left behind cuz all I ever wanted was her safe. Cuz I thought this time it'd be different. I'd make it different. Idk who I disrespected more: my past self tryin' his damnedest or whatever sick God runs this show thinkin' I could change how the world works.

I thought I did it right. No. I just screwed myself cuz I didn't believe I could be 'nough. N would ya look at that, a pattern a problems there. I keep feelin' like I'm not 'nough n turns out ta be the case. Ig it's partly true what they say bout manifestin' the problems ta face, 'xcept it ain't so easy ta stop 'em. I wanna believe I woulda been 'nough, that my carin' fer others n whatev fake confidence I can fling together'll be 'nough ta help grow a real one but that ain't workin. The damn demons a the past don't give a shit bout my act n at this point I'm so fuckin tired I don't blame 'em.

I'm still so damn scared I handed her over ta hell. Last time my system left someone ta someone else they married someone they were miserable w/. Even after everythin', I never woulda wished that on 'em. Sure, maybe they lied ta us, who fuckin' knows n wouldn't blame 'em. But even then, even worried bout that, I feel like I woulda been worse...

... Fuck that thought, what was a sayin'? God, I don't give a damn. Whoever was hopin' the worst fer me, just know ya didn't get ur damn wish cuz I was already alive n well. I've always been my own worst damn enemy n always have been. Ya can't really ask fer much more than that. I just wish I wasn't me long enough to see a point in life cuz I can't imagine what i see's right if people everywhere ain't linin' up ta the nearest bridges fer the opportunity ta jump off.

But I've always thought too much. What ideation at this point is new anyway? Idk if there's any fixin' that, it's on me. N idk if I care how

[freakshowcowboy]

hbhbfhgfbhgfhbfdhb

[mandyjpg]

i just wanna say thank you to the man who doesn’t deserve my thanks.

[rekhte]

yo

[tirednottired]

flunking [3.16.22]

[dioko]

AN OTHERWORLDLY LIFE.

pirate! midoriya x gn! reader

Word Count -> ~2230

Genre -> oneshot, fantasy, fluff

Content -> mild violence, swearing, flirty! deku, fantasy au, pirates lol, they/them pronouns | lemme know if i missed anything!

Summary -> pirates get whatever they want, and Deku wanted you.

a/n -> ive been brainrotting over pirate! deku for the past two weeks and i finally came up with something :)) this oneshot is inspired by @/midnightmoonkiss' pirate deku content, s’gold jfc. anyways its unedited, so beware of typos... enjoy! oh, also, any parts that come up after this fic will take the form of light drabbles and headcanons :) 

“Give y/n back to us now.”

“Okay,” a broad-shouldered greenette sneered, “then give me your money. All of it.”

You watched your uncle’s face morph into several expressions. No way was he going to agree to Deku’s outrageous deal. The pirate squatted so he was eye-leveled with you, greedily taking in all of your features while you were still bound to a wooden pole. With the tip of his dagger, he tilted your face up so the two of you were mere inches apart. 

“Fuck you!” The old merchant yelled. 

The pirate shook his head and laughed, “Woulda thunk an aristocrat of all people had a cleaner tongue. Watch your language around my pretty little seabird.”

You watched your aunt convulse in horror at his words.

“C’mon, mister,” Deku rolled his eyes like he was getting bored (he was). “Y’got three seconds before this sweetie’s blood is all over my deck.”

“You little-”

“Three.”

Your uncle was blowing steam from his ears.

“Two - whoops my knife slipped!” He ran the silver across your neck, and a deep, ugly red immediately stained your clothes. It was over before you could process it. 

>>

“I can’t believe I just did that,” liquid dribbled down your collar bone as you scrambled to clean it before any more touched your shirt. “They think I’m dead,” you scoffed.

“Yeah-”

“Deku, they think I’m dead!” Finally, you could do something other than remain trapped on that boring, miserable island. It was long since that place had been your home. 

“I know,” he laughed, “and… you okay? I didn’t actually hurt you, did I?”

“No, but how am I supposed to wear this?” You gestured to the cherry-juice-stained fabric. 

“You don’t,” the man grinned.

“Gross!” you hissed, “your subordinates are right there - you’re really gonna make these jokes now, loverboy?”

“Mhm,” he brushed a drop of red off your jaw, “loverboy or not, they’re terrified of me anyways.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.” He smiled coyly, “plus, I get to do whatever I want with you now,” his gaze dropped to your lips and he licked his own, “can’t believe I ‘murdered’ royal offspring.”

“Ex-royal. Actually, m’not even royal-”

“Captain.”

“What do you want?” Deku stiffened. 

“Tenya and Shouto - they want to know where we’re going next.”

“Oh. I’ll be right there, wait up,” the pirate turned to you, “make yourself at home - or do anything, really. My cabin’s the one furthest back, down the hall over there. It’s… the soundproofed one,” he winked at you.

“Go yell at your crewmates,” You grumbled, turning around so he wouldn’t notice how agitated you suddenly looked.

“Whatever you say, boss,” he pecked your nape and pointed at your stained shirt, “when we stop again tomorrow night, I’ll steal- no, I’ll buy you as many tops as you want.”

You opened your mouth to reply, but he cut you off.

“Of course, m’not sure why you’d want more tops when you have me.”

Perverted bastard, you thought, marching down the deck. But, being with an infamous criminal was better than meaninglessly hanging out in a dark room for the rest of your life. At least here, you’d get to do something. 

Deku was right, his sleeping quarters were big, so much so that there was still a couple of meters distance from his bed to his desk. Where there were corners, there were intricately carved designs of figures you didn’t quite recognize, but beautiful nonetheless. A large, cowhide rug lay underneath the bed that sat against a wall filled with weapons, most of which, you assumed, were merely for decoration. 

Then, you turned to the desk. 

The messiest part was, without a doubt, the map on his wall, littered in pins and ink marks, filled with what was presumably all the places he’d visited and more that he was going to visit. If you hadn’t slowed your steps or tried to avoid the sharp, evening sun, you would have never noticed the dirty notebook that lay half-covered by random trinkets on his desk. 

Huh, you pursed your lips, I shouldn’t touch that, which is why you picked the book up and began to flip through it. 

04/02/xx. 

I got stuck in ice on the back of a tiny island. Winter will always be the bane of my existence. They look wealthy, though. If i get caught now, im not getting out of this alive. 

06/02/xx

Theres someone in that obnoxiously rich house. Pretty little birdie never seems to leave that spot. 

10/03/xx

i caught their attention! I don’t understand why im excited, though. Maybe im confusing this excitement with the fact that the ice is finally thawing. I can finally get out of here.

12/03/xx

y/n said i had nice hands today. I’ve always hated them, grimy and blemished, but i dont think i do, anymore. i’ll try to sketch something today. 

02/04/xx

I can finally leave here, but theres someone ive got to take with me. Ive gotten to know y/n really well over the months ive been stuck here, and i think they’ll want to come with me! Theyre smart and hardheaded and absolutely beautiful; they’ll do well aboard Yuuei. 

06/04/xx 

The plans for tonight are making me nervous. I cant let anyone know that, though, y/ns freedoms on me. I think. Anyways, ive gotten confident enough with my drawings to try this:

And then the page was blank. To try and draw what? You looked around the room, trying to find some evidence of his art. 

“Enjoying yourself?”

“Deku!” He’d caught you in the middle of snooping around his room. 

“Good evening, little seabird,” he bowed obnoxiously; you couldn’t help but notice the pink that tinted his ears, though. “Did y’like my book?”

“Sorry,” you put it back down on his desk.

“How much did you see?”

“... enough.”

“Well,” he shrugged, “it is what it is. Let’s go outside,” he took your hand. 

“You’re not gonna, like, punish me?”

Deku quirked an eyebrow at you, lips twitching into a half-smile, “Do you want me to?”

“Sheesh, never mind,” you backed away, “should’ve known you’d say something like that.”

“Hey, you asked and I answered.”

“I asked and you asked back, actually.”

“Same difference. Oh!” He stopped halfway on the main deck, “there’s something I wanna give you - a welcome gift, y’know?”

“Deku, you’ve handed me a bunch of stuff since the day you snuck onto my porch,” you chuckled, “I’m not gonna disappear if you stop giving me things.”

“One last gift?”

“Deku.”

“I didn’t maim a man for it, I swear!”

“Fine,” you agreed reluctantly. 

“You ready?” His voice was high pitched - it was rare to see a pirate so excited. 

“... yes?”

“Okay, gimme your hands, and open your eyes when I tell you to.” Palms up, you reached out to him; something sandy and thin tickled you. “Okay, open ‘em.”

It was a torn sheet of paper - the missing page from his notebook. Familiar ink marks were littered around its rough edges, and a drawing of a person sat in the center.

A drawing of you. 

You gaped at it for a moment, trying to digest every feature he’d sculpted into the paper. 

“Thank you,” you breathed. 

“Y’like it?”

“I love it.”

“I’m glad.”

“S’this really how you see me? I look… great.”

“You always do. You always look beautiful.”

“I do not,” you laughed. 

“You do to me.”

Deku didn’t laugh with you, this time. To be frank, there didn’t seem to be any glint of mischief in his lively eyes, for once. All he did was watch you, admiring how you looked in the evening light. The freckled pirate opened his mouth like there was more he wanted to say. 

“What is it?” You encouraged. 

Like he snapped out of a trance, the greenette’s back straightened again, and his chest puffed out the way it did when he tried to hide his fear, “never mind. It was nothing.”

It was a lie, was what it was, but you didn’t point that out to him. 

“Okay,” you twiddled your thumbs. “I’m tired,” it was probably best to change the topic.

“Oh, right. I did kill you today,” Deku smiled softly, “go back to my cabin. I’ve got the softest bed - fit for a former sovereign.”

“Whatever,” you batted his shoulder. 

“Plus,” he licked his lips, “the creaking can be passed off as turbulence-”

“Deku!”

>>

The day went by quicker than you’d thought it would. Tsuyu was a crewmate who’d been kind enough to help you navigate each part of the ship, and if it wasn’t for her, you’d have fallen behind the rest of the crew. 

The ship slowed as evening arrived again, and in the distance of shallow fog, you could see dim lights slowly growing bigger. 

“How much is a shirt, nowadays?” Deku murmured to himself, “will a bag be enough?”

“A bag could buy me an entire wardrobe,” you leaned against his door frame. 

“Then a bag of coins it is,” he grinned.

You pursed your lips. “You shouldn’t spend money so recklessly, I have a feeling it doesn’t exactly come consistently to you and your friends.”

“I’m offended,” he scoffed, “but it’s not reckless when it’s you.”

Not even you could deny the flush of heat that pooled onto your cheeks and ears. 

“C’mon, birdie, it’ll be fine. Plus, buying you whatever you want’ll help me stay a little soberer.”

“Let’s go, we get to hide on abandoned docks, which means there’s a long way to walk before we reach the towns. Perks of a small ship, I guess.”

You walked with him up a crooked path, and by the time it was dark, you’d gotten close enough that you could hear the lively music and laughter. 

It was beautiful. 

Stands were set up wherever there was a blank wall, and people were everywhere - it wasn’t like the half-dead island where you’d come from. 

“How d’ya like your shirts?” Deku lead you down the street.

“De-”

“I’m Izuku here, got it?” He smiled slyly, “wouldn’t want ‘em to know they’re mingling with one of Poseidon’s bastard sons.”

“Izuku,” you recalled when he'd first told you his birth name, months ago, “that’s a nice name.”

“Thank you, birdie, I got it for my birthday.”

“I-”

“Now back to the main focus: you! Whaddya want?” He jingled the bag of coins in the air, grinning at anyone that noticed his abundance of cash.

“A shirt. One shirt,” you specified. 

“Right!” He turned to the woman at the stand, “I’ll buy everything you’ve got.”

“D- Izuku, what the f-”

“Shh, language, if I don’t spend it here, I’ll be hiccuping back to our cabin,” he shrugged, as he swiped a jug of beer from the neighboring stand. 

“You - you just stole!” You whisper-yelled at the man, who had a drink in one arm and a chain of clothing in the other. 

“Pretty bird, with all due respect, I’m a pirate.” Izuku licked the drink off his lips, “your sheltered-since-birth naivety is really beginning to show.”

“Well, that’s mean of you to say.”

“Sorry, sorry,” he chuckled, “I guess it’s my job to corrupt that, huh?”

You grimaced. “Why did you buy all of that?”

“So you could wear pretty clothing.”

“No, you misunderstand. I mean, why did you buy all of that?”

“You’re right,” Izuku pondered, “with my devilish looks and charm, that pretty lady wouldn’t have noticed if I stole that expensive necklace right off her.”

“You did not.”

“Ta-da,” he pulled out the blue jewel with a toothy grin, “bet it’ll look great with this blouse here.”

“What - Izuku, you’re going to rob this place dry!”

“That’s the goal, baby.”

You froze at the new name. Deku had never called you that before. Why now?

“What?” He half-laughed, “Is that - is it too much?”

“Thief!” Someone, the woman from before, pointed at your pirate, and the two of you - an aristocrat and a lowlife - exchanged a knowing glance. 

RUN.

You bolted down the yellow-lit streets with him, feeling like you’d never run out of breath. Never in your life had you been allowed to run this quickly - this freely.

“Here, here, here!” He ushered you into a little crack between two buildings, and then squeezed himself in with you. You watched in awe as the police sprinted right past your hiding place. 

“They’re gone,” you mumbled. 

“Not yet,” he replied. That was when you finally noticed how closely the two of you had pressed up against one another - when you finally felt the adrenaline leave your brain, and the sanity come back. 

“‘Zuku,” you gasped for air. 

“I love you,” he blurted. 

“What?”

“I. Love. You.” 

It was safe to say your entire world had come to a screeching halt. A pirate, one who had ravaged land, and stolen money and broken hearts loved you.

“Me too,” you finally sighed at him, “I love you, too.” 

“Thank god,” he sounded genuinely relieved. 

Your stomach did backflips when you finally mustered up the courage to look at him. He was watching you - hungrily, selfishly eating up the way you looked with wild, loving eyes. Part of his bangs covered the freckles that dappled his face, and his chest heaved up and down with every desperate gasp for air. Suddenly, you felt warm, like you’d fought and planned and earned something you’d longed for since you were young. 

It was an otherworldly life, unpredictable, dangerous, and irrevocably yours.