#my mom thought i was drawing me and i think that might be the biggest compliment ever

[willthespy]

I think most forget about the fact that he was a child perceived as a villain because of his parentage

[suffarustuffaru]

Looking at your past art has me really loving your drag king Natsumi, do you have any more thoughts on them? I'd love to hear them. Also just your genderbend ideas in general. They are very interesting!

for future reference, here is where i drew some drag king natsumi + sapphic ottosuba :) i definitely plan on making more genderbend au content in the future thats for sure! :o i have another older art post on this here also (i am. too lazy to find it rn but its there somewhere!!) but i have some in depth thoughts about fembaru for sure yes :3 ty for finding my genderbend ideas interesting!! :D !! id be happy to talk about them more :o

im gonna start with outward design stuff / gender presentation first!! :D bc in my head, afab subaru probably looks almost exactly the same. in general, canon subaru’s most likely at least a little androgynous (and i think he probably is judging off of how much he passes as the opposite sex!!), and we know hes got his dad’s spiky black hair and his mom’s mean eyes and general facial shape, has a long torso, that sort of thing, so i think afab subaru would look similar :o

plus i like to treat fembaru as basically just the mirror/foil/inverse of canon amab subaru anyway, so yep natsumi schwartz is gonna be her male persona!! canon amab subaru was mistaken as a girl when he was a child, and he also went to high school (iirc it was high school but at the very least he was about the same age he is during arc 1) for three days as natsumi yes and passed for three days. iirc he would put on the girl’s uniform and wig and stuff on the way to school and out of his parents’ view and then put on the male uniform and take off the wig before he got home!! plus you know he’d generally practice makeup most likely and wig styling and all sorts of things in private.

so definitely afab subaru is doing similar stuff but in the opposite direction now—looking more masc and presenting as a boy. while amab subaru can put on and take off a wig, in my head, afab subaru would probably have to have shorter hair. so one day she just got a haircut thats short enough to where she could style it masculinely but longer enough to where it could still be kinda considered feminine enough!!

im not 100% sure how to draw her hair yet but in my earlier post and a few of my sketches it kinda looks like either a long mullet/wolfcut or a messy bob :3 i think you could probably say that her hair looks more like a wacky bob when shes more feminine and a wolfcut when shes styling it more masculinely?

(^^ my take on fem wrathbaru is here also LMAO)

i also base my fembaru design off of canon natsumi!! with the side bang (though i sometimes draw it on the wrong side akdnd)!! meanwhile fembaru’s male natsumi would have canon amab subaru’s hair :) (which you can see in my earlier post as well!!)

(i like this illustration actually <3)

i also like to hc that on top of subaru wanting to look and act more like his dad in canon, he did also kinda want to resemble his mom when hes presenting more femininely :o also for genderbend aus it depends on whether you ONLY want to genderbend subaru or if you wanna genderbend everyone along with subaru too, that sort of thing. i like to play with both possibilities :o

but in general, i like the idea of subaru either way trying to honor both her mom and dad. maybe to subaru her mom is what an ideal woman should be perhaps, and her dad is the ideal man, bc subarus parents are her biggest role models, so she tries to emulate both at different points in her life. she tries to be the perfect soft sweet girl like her mom and it doesnt work. she leans into being a bit of a delinquent and it doesnt work. then she cuts her hair and learns to present more masculinely and tries to copy her dad only to fail again. :((( then she gets isekaied……

i feel like afab subaru might get a bit more shit for getting into trouble too :(( or for being too loud. shes not very traditionally ladylike, i think!! boys will be boys and of course your daughter takes after you, kenichi, but dont you think shes a little too rough around the edges now?

anyway otherwise in general, i also like the idea that over the course of each arc in the fantasy world, subaru grows her hair out!! and once its long enough she can put it into a ponytail like her mom again :,)))

(male rem is here too <3)

also i like to give fembaru the maid dress instead of the butler outfit!!! probably not with the garter and stuff but 😭😭 its a pretty dress and fembaru should get to express herself both masculinely and femininely :3 in my head, i think subaru would be shy bc AGHH THIS DRESS IS SO REVEALING THERES NO WAY ID LOOK GOOD IN THIS IM NOT PRETTY AT ALL and rem and ram (genderbent or not) are probably like nonsense just try the dress. its your uniform to work here. and subaru does and huhhhh. maybe i dont look half bad ? :,) (bc of course subaru’s insecurities either present themselves the same or slightly different when genderbended). and of course when rem and ram warm up to subaru eventually ram can be like “you dont look as bad as i thought youd look” or something and rem can be like “subaru-kun youre very beautiful anyways!!!! <3”

and also i do think subaru would cut her hair a bit again or style it different for natsumi adventures later in arc 7 <3 just to have that symmetry again. the situation probably might go a little different but yep this is how id handle it 👍

and of course you can give subaru the canon natsumi hair bow sometimes when shes feeling fancy :3

OKAY and now im gonna talk about more character stuff!! lets talk about subarus whole thing with isekai and genre savviness and all that.

one of canon subaru’s many many Many parts making him up as a character and making up his story in general is a deconstruction of the isekai genre!! power fantasy and characters being cardboard cutouts for the male mc to triumph without a struggle—that sort of thing. but afab subaru is a female lead now, and female isekai is different.

id have to do way more research into this and watch more female isekai and shoujo and stuff (ive been Really wanting to watch im in love with the villainess…… someday i will…..). buuut from what ive noticed so far it seems like for male lead isekai the fantasy here is the Power and Prestige, but female lead isekai’s fantasy seems to be the Romance!! not that you cant have OP abilities in female lead isekais and not that every isekai is 100% the same of course. but that seems to be the common tropes from what ive seen so far? male isekai protags have girls throwing themselves at him as trophies, female lead isekais have their male romantic interests and the evil evil villainesses are defeated somehow and perfectly out of the way <3 the fantasy is that youll be loved by The One—the perfect boy(s) <3

and i think amab subaru is less likely to check out much female lead isekai but i think itd be fun if afab subaru would probably focus on female lead isekai but also a bit on male lead isekai as well!! she wants that absolute path to glory AND love. (and ahahhahahaha please ignore the gazillion ikemen anime figurines in her room hahahahahhahhahahahah AND DEFINITELY IGNORE THE SILVER HAIRED ONES. ESPECIALLY THE ONLY GIRL FIGURINE SHE HAS THATS BEEN GATHERING DUST UNDER HER BED—)

but also bc i think amab subarus more likely to go nah i wont look at girly media while maybe afab subarus like godddddddd i want instant OP abilitiessssssssssss and godddddddd i want hot girls around m—WHAT. WHAT. WHO SAID THAT WHO SAID THAT—

anyway so subaru gets isekaied and shes like SWEEETTT A NEW BEGINNING AWAY FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO MEET EXPECTATIONS HAHAHAHAHA IM THE ISEKAI PROTAG!!! THIS IS AWESOME!!! (is about to get her shit rocked). and shes like ooooh do i have any abilities (nope) and oooohhhhhh shit do i have a villainess. AM I THE VILLAINESS???? no way right. anyway lol wheres the ikemen who’ll ill marry one day. the ikemen that falls in love….. with a commoner……… like myself teehee… and they get married…… and the villainess is CONQUERED….

anyway so what im saying is. ………….fembaru is a femcel. AND a pick me. AND a disaster bisexual. you could practically imagine a vine boom after each of those.

i think the biggest most important to me with genderbend aus is keeping the humanity of the characters the same the best i can!! and fembaru is STILL subaru, of course shes fucking cringe!! of course shes got a heart of gold but its under layers of cringe!!! of course shes a nerd who doesnt have any friends at first and trips and stumbles through all the shit being thrown her way!!

also if male subaru is bi then so is fem subaru okay. we’re equal opportunity here. and also amab subaru has issues with his masculinity and uhhhh slight things with women (see: his boob comments in season 1…….. subaru i love you but cmon man). so. afab subaru i think has got a terrible case of internalized misogyny / homophobia / PROBABLY SOME COMPHET TOO LMFAO 😭😭

i think general plot beats (whether its only genderbending subaru or genderbending everyone) goes mostly the same but again, slight differences. im gonna go with only subaru being genderbent atm bc thatd have more differences i think :o

yes ok so subaru’s gonna see reinhard and go GASPPP oh my god. pretty ikemen. ohhhhhh oughhhhh hes so pretty. hes clearly main lead material… ohhhh what do i do ive never talked to people in so long and hes so PRETTY FUUUCKKKKK BUT I DONT WANNA BOTHER HIM EITHER AND PUT HIM IN DANGER. um um um um mmumimimm HE CLOSED THE DISTANCE BETWEEN US TOO???? what the hell what the fuck what the fuck shit shit um think THINK SUBARU THINK YOU HAVE CHARM RIGHT?? YOU CAN DO THIS. YOU CAN CHARM A HOT GUY. ARGGHHH— *explodes*

but also subaru sees emilia and gets that “do i wanna be her or be with her” feeling 😭😭 bc emilias so….. cute…. pretty… and NICE TOO?? WITH A FUN PERSONALITY??? SHIT SHES GOT EVERYTHING!! she went out of her way to save me 🥺🥺 and im just dragging her down 😔😔 BUT FUCKKKK I HATEEEE HOW GOOD SHE IS. and then :,)))) theyre both dying in the warehouse… and the first time subaru feels the touch of another girl in a more intimate light is her and emilia holding hands as they die…………….

SO YEAH THEN SUBARU RBDS :,,)))) so like. do you get what im saying. emisuba and remsuba and satella are subaru’s first sapphic heartbreaks and heartaches. muahahaha!!!! insert more evil laughter here!!!! bc since subarus a girl her relationships with emisuba and remsuba are definitely gonna be perceived (both by other people and rem emilia subaru) more so as friendships first and foremost.

so….. subarus getting the codependent homoerotic teenage friendship bright and early HAH. but i cannot blame her!! i too would go insane if i was put in a new unfamiliar world and i met this cute girl i was both jealous of and a little into and then we both died and the last thing i felt was searing pain and her soft fingertips!!! i too would go insane if i thought this maid was my friend but then she tortured me and—and—

but yeah you know how amab subaru has his whole weird complex bromances with reinhard and julius and otto?? now itll be like that but with emilia (the julius and reinhard…) and rem (the otto….). emilias the girl subaru’s having “do i wanna be her or be with her” weird rivalry shit with (subaru’s internalized misogyny probably also adding to this bc Obviously theyre rivals) and rem’s the girl who brutally betrays subaru personally (worlds worst homoerotic teenage friendship breakup of all time 😭😭) but then she later becomes subaru’s loyal best friend???? crazy shit.

and like emilia and rem are totaaally villainesses in subaru’s way (except emilias sweet af and misjudged by the entire world and subaru doesnt have the heart to fight rem and also shes chugging copium and trying not to think about failed loops. or about her gay feelings). toxic yuri is toxic yuri-ing. subaru doesnt wanna be explicit about it….. emilia isnt sure of her feelings other than stuff like caring a lot abt subaru… and rem is. Rem. so theyre all in gay situationship limbo HAH.

also as an afab person too rip subaru for also having periods while the whole world is ending on repeat 😭😭 LMFAOO. im sure theres medieval fantasy remedies though (and rem is 1000% spoiling subaru on her period)

also no one can tell me that echidna and rem WOULDNT still be into subaru as much as they are in canon. subaru regardless of gender fascinates echidna and her greed. subaru regardless of gender is someone rem will grow very very attached to. and if anything, rem would get way more bold with afab subaru.

bc the thing with female relationships is that i feel like theres a higher level of intimacy that you gotta go to for it to be considered more romantic or homoerotic. with guys it could be like holding hands and other people might be like WOAH THATS GAY, but if girls do the same thing its like aww youre such good friends. i think rem would take advantage of her and subaru being the same sex and she’d probably keep trying like “hey um um wanna cuddle together?? in the same bed?? and bathe together teehee?? i can help do your hair and dress you up? and make lots of cute dresses for you ? :) <3 🥰 and i can even massage your bo—I MEAN YOUR BACK. YOUR BACK!!” or it’ll be like. rem gets a little too happy that her and subaru’s periods get synced up or something 😭😭 shes Not Normal (and unfortunately subarus probably a little too into that)

also unfortunately the other time a girl touched subaru intimately was satella squeezing her heart :(((( and hahahah between that and rem and emilia and later echidna…. ohhhh poor subaru and her terrible toxic yuri 😭😭 her sapphic experiences and experiences with women have not been 1000% great.

but also of course subaru is so very not normal. you have the canon typical “lol every memory is a good one <3 even rem torturing me teehee <33” and also i just think itd be funny if you as an audience is lead to believe subarus jealous of emilia and rem’s boob sizes and no. no shes just gay. shes GAY.

and stuff like everything going on with julius and otto gets recharacterized too. bc subarus a girl and the guys are guys its probably gonna get perceived more both in and out of universe in a more. Quite Literally Straightforward light. esp bc subaru’s still gonna be into reinhard and julius lbr HAH.

i want arc 3 to still be an absolute fucking disaster with fembaru. let fembaru be flawed and ugly!!!! so in my au thoughts here itd be like. subaru feels jealous and threatened by lots of people. emilia, though its subsided a bit after becoming friends and after learning a bit more abt emilia as a person. but also i think subaru could feel so so jealous of the royal candidates!! esp crusch priscilla anastasia even though subaru will 1000% think theyre bitches at first during arc 3. bc theyre such strong determined women who seem way more confident than subaru herself is…. and also im sure there’ll be complex thoughts from her on felix too bc crossdressing… gender presentation… is a complex thing for subaru.

and subaru with julius is like. “get away from emilia!!!! shes mine!!! shes MY best friend that im homoerotically codependent on and obsessive of!!!! and also youre just trying to steal reinhard’s ikemen male lead spot huh!!!!! bastard!!!! (i hate that youre so pretty too)” and everything of course blows up in subaru’s face. im sure at some point in the story subaru might get slutshamed for having all these connections to people and romantic threads (especially since shes afab) but also its like. wow shes such a stupid girl lol causing a racket.

and uh being a man beating up a girl looks a little worse due to gender roles and stuff but lot of the knights are still gonna want to go after subaru and julius is still gonna want to save subaru. :,,)))) arc 3 emisuba breakup….. worlds worst sapphic breakup of all time…. and later rem will be the one that got away also :(((((

but yeah i think in general this subaru’s connections would be a little more. subtexty with the girls bc she’d be more hesitant to be explicit. but a bit more explicit with the guys bc itll be easily perceived as romantic in and out of universe. and of course subaru i think will be flustered in different ways between the girls vs guys—with the girls its OHH GOD I CANT BE GAY I CANT BE GAY NOOOOO I HAVE A RIVALRY!!! IM SO JEALOUS OF THEM!! BUT. BUT I LIKE THEM!! OHH GOD. with the guys its OH NO. GOOD LOOKING GUYS???? FML. FML!!!!! WHERES MY MAIN CHARACTER CHARM??? HOW DO I TALK TO GUYS???? JULIUS STOP MAKING FUNNOF ME!!! >:(((

also brief note on otto bc things are probably gonna go different here qkdnd. like i definitely am of course of the opinion that otto fell in love with subaru. in every damn arc in every damn main route otto side content hes getting unhinged over subaru in a way that i think makes a little less sense if you dont view it as otto just Not Being Normal About Subaru in a perhaps vaguely homoerotic way.

but subarus afab now!! and ottos still a guy!!! and reinhard and julius are friendly with subaru right, but at around arc 4 things they dont show explicit romantic interest. (i think arc 5-6+ julisuba and juliemisuba would be 👀👀👀 though.) but otto?? in a universe where subaru is a girl??? well now its more acceptable for him to be grow openly head over heels for subaru. but also its probably also more pathetic bc now its probably gonna be more obviously taken as otto having a crush on subaru.

and subarus had her arc 3 development right. but here its like. you wanted a male character who’d fall in love with you and be loyal to you and do Anything for you???? here you go!!! but also given otto is Like That and gets worse by arc 7-8 i think hes gonna seem a bit more sinister. not that canon otto with canon subaru isnt sinister but theres different connotations to male otto paired with female subaru. bc it sort of follows straight dark romance rules, right, with the cunning possessive male love interest and the female protagonist…

i doubt anything explicit would go on between otto and subaru in an au like this bc 1. otto and his avoidant attachment LMFAO and 2. subaru and her issues also and 3. subaru in main route is Not as into otto to the same extent or degree otto is HAH.

and fembarus probably like. i think itd be funny if she was a little disappointed otto wasnt a girl 😭😭😭 but then later hes weird about crossdressing and shes like why dont you wanna do it huh 👁👁👁👁 why are you weird about it 👁👁👁👁 im staring at your glass closet right now—

and also its like. “WHY ARE YOU THE FIRST BOY TO ACTUALLY BE IN LOVE WITH ME WHAT???” which i think is hilarious but i also think it could be fascinating in terms of playing with gender!! bc otto may want to be in control of things, but hes also so subservient to subaru anyway. otto and subaru are both androgynous; otto can pass as a girl and subaru can pass as a boy. if you wanna simplify things further you could also explain this as—otto is a man who looks like a woman who’s pledged his servitude to a woman who looks like a man. very intriguing imo!!

but of course ottosuba power dynamics are Always shifting over and over like a game of tug of war, but the most common thing is that otto will bow his head to subaru but under the surface ottos trying to be in charge. that sort of thing!! and the idea of male otto servicing female subaru is an idea rezero ao3 seems to like also but :,) lets just say its not fully to my taste haha :,,))

and otto is definitely not gonna beat up subaru’s ass so easily this time around bc itd look so bad and he’d know that lmfao 😭😭

but i think theres a lot of potential to play around with gender roles and such with all of these dynamics!! im very passionate about making my genderbend au ideas as wild and layered as possible :o !!

this is all my main ideas atm (and id love to draw stuff like more drag king natsumi or fem reinsuba :) ) but yes i hope this all makes sense :D !! thanks for reading this far and thanks for the ask!!

[sidney-latrobe]

Mirror

Summary: Eddie comes over and things get heated quickly

Warning: NSFW, SMUT, protected sex, praise kink, dominating

Word Count: 2.151

Eddie and I have been dating for a couple of weeks. It was blissful. Despite the side-remarks at school and the dirty looks we received whenever we walked hand-in-hand through town, our love was strong and growing. And even if the gossip got to one of us, we always found a way to make the other forget. 

"My mother actually screamed when she found the pills in my nightstand," I told Eddie. We were sitting in my bedroom, and he brought over some of his music to listen to. I wasn't the biggest fan of the super hardcore metal songs, but I did enjoy the slightly calmer ones. "She said I was too young to be having sex. You should have seen her face when I told her I lost my virginity at fifteen." 

"Fifteen?" he asked and popped a slice of apple, that I had cut for us earlier, into his mouth. 

"Yeah." I shrugged. "I told you about my first time."

"I didn't know you were fifteen."

"Oh, please, Eddie, you were sixteen when you lost your virginity to some girl on holiday that passed through town."

"Her name was Delores, and she was a totally hot. She knew stuff."

"Well, if Delores is so good, you can go to her." I chuckled at his annoyed eye roll. "As I was saying, she acutally took the pills away from me."

"What?"

I choked on a slice of apple when Eddie jumped up, his face ghost-pale and his doe eyes widened in fear. A smile tugged at my lips and I pushed him back down into my cushions, straddling him before I continued, "Would you stop freaking out love, and let me finish? She took the pills away from me, but I had another package in my room. Trust me, I wouldn't let your sweet cock inside this temple without protection." 

Eddie exhaled, relieved. 

I added, "Besides, we don't fuck without a condom, and no, don't even try to convince me otherwise. I don't fancy getting some sexual disease or worse, getting pregnant. Did you know that the state passed a law in 1950 that women, who actively seek out an abortion can be crimilized?" 

"Seriously? That's fucked up."

"It totally is!" 

I shook my head and leaned down to rest it against the crouch of his neck. His hands moved from my hips to my back, drawing circles and other patterns over the thin fabric of my shirt. 

"Did your mother say anything else?"

I sighed and brushed my nose against his neck. Even though he smelt like cheap cologne and sweat, I found that scent calming. 

"Not really. She reminded me that she doesn't like you and complained about my sex life to everyone at the dinner table. I think she hoped my father would say something, but he was actually pretty calm. He didn't even say anything."

"Yeah … I might have something to do with that."

Frowning, I pushed myself into a sitting position and stared at the sheepish smirk on his face. Worry nested in my chest. "What did you do?"

"Nothing! Well, alright. Do you remember when you forgot your bag at mine and I brought it to school the next day? Your dad saw it in my hand when he dropped off your younger siblings by middle school, and he questioned me about it. He, uh, well, everyone knew that we were dating. It wasn't a secret, but I guess he didn't believe the gossip. I just said that I love you and that we're taking things slow, which is a total lie as you know, and he just nodded. He said, 'You're both adults. Just respect each other.' and left."

"My dad said that?"

"Yeah, I'm still shocked, too."

"That's … wow … I don't even know what to say. I always thought my dad would be trouble, not my mom."

Eddie let out a hearty chuckle, and even though I was mashed up against his neck, I could feel every beat of his laughing on my cheek. I gave him a sly look while pressing my lips to his skin and brought my hair across to rummage through his unruly mane. It looked clean and smelled exactly like the shampoo that I had purchased for myself a few weeks ago to keep at his tailer.

"You've been using my shampoo," I chuckled and he turned his head to the side, smiling at me. 

"I like it," he shrugged. "It reminds me of you, and my hair got this weird shine every since I started using it."

"Yeah, that's called having healthy hair."

"Whatever."

Eddie brought his hands to my face, cupped my cheeks, and planted a sweet kiss on my lips. I ran my hands through his hair and stretched the skin just above his neck while Eddie let out a muffled groan. My lips curved into a smile. Taking my chance with his mouth being somewhat open, I deepened the kiss and explored his teeth with my tongue. Eddie didn't even attempt to challenge me to a fight for dominance. His hands moved all over my back and hips as he forced me up into a sitting position. Without interrupting the kiss, his skillful hands drew my shirt up to my chest and he pulled it over my head. As soon as the cloth was dropped to the floor, he slammed his lips against mine once more. 

He hummed as he planted kisses along my chin, gently moving down to my neck. "Mhm," he hummed as he did so. His nose was brushing across my sweet spot, I let out a little whimper as it happened, and he smirked against my skin and laughed out loud.

"I missed you," admitted Eddie in a low whisper. 

"We saw each other at school not more than five hourse ago."

"But it's not the same. Not like this." He pulled off my bra and cupped my breast. "We haven't been this close for days. Oh, hello you two." He spoke to my breast. "I missed you, girls. Don't worry. Daddy's home now."

It was almost impossible to hide the smile from my lips and I shook my head while Eddie kissed each of my breasts. His tongue darted over my erect nipples causing me to hum and leaned into him.  

"Please," I choked out, "stop calling my boobs your girls and referring to yourself as their daddy."

"But I am their daddy." Eddie gave me a stern look. "No else is allowed to touch 'em."

"That doesn't — That doesn't make you their daddy, you idiot. Just admit that you like calling yourself daddy."

"Maybe." He kissed the stretch marks around my chest and looked at me through his long lashes. "I'll admit it, if you admit that you like me calling myself daddy."

"You're ridiculous."

"And you're beautiful."

By the time the next track on the album played, Eddie's shirt lay next to mine and I was without shorts, keeping him close to me by crossing my bare legs over his hips. Eddie kissed and nibbled on my neck, undoubtedly leaving behind a trail of lovebites as I ran my black-painted fingernails across his bare chest and traced the outlines of his tattoos. His lips brushed just below my ear and his hot breath trickled. I chuckled at the burning sensation, "The last one's haven't even healed yet."

"Don't care. Want everyone to know that you're taken. You're mine."

His words made my stomach buzz with butterflies. 

"I'm yours, and you're mine."

Eddie moved his head to look at me. His lips were swollen, his cheeks flushed and his eyes unfocused like he was dreaming. "I'm yours," he repeated.

I immediately grabbed his head and slammed a passionate kiss on his lips, which caused him to grimace into my face before pulling me into a tight embrace. I was attempting to convey to him everything that I could not put into words and show him how much I loved him at the same time. When he pressed harder against me, I smirked because I could feel his hard cock twitch in his jeans. However, my smiling faded when he continued to grind down against my clothed clit, and I whined. 

"You like that, huh?" 

"Shut up. Just —"

"Just what, darling?"

"I want you. Fuck, I want you so bad."

"Why didn't you just say so?"

Before I could respond, his hands moved to my underwear and yanked it off. His eyes twinkled at the sight of my wetness and a smirk curved his lips as he held two fingers in front of my mouth. I leaned forward and took them in my mouth, swirling my tongue around his fingertips. He took them out of my mouth and pushed them inside me. I moaned at the feeling of his fingers stretching my warm folds. 

"Fuck, that's hot." 

He drove his fingers out and pushed them back inside at a relentless pace, watching in awe as I arched my back and tried to inch closer to his hand, moaning as he brushed against my clit with his thumb. 

"I wish you could see yourself, sweetheart. You're fucking beautiful."

"Faster, Eddie."

He obliged and fucked my wet hole, harder and faster, adding his thumb to circle his swollen clit. I closed my eyes and let out every single moan and cry that he caused as the knot at the bottom of my stomach began to tie. My climax was building; sweat dripped down from my knees and neck and stomach, and the sound of Eddie's fingers forcing themselves inside me as I cramped around them was almost louder than the music. 

"Eddie."

"You're close, huh? Come on, honey, cum for me."

If he added another finger, you wouldn't have noticed. He leaned down and bit down on my nipple having me groan out in euphoria, calling his name over and over again until the knot in my stomach exploded and I came with his finger buried deep inside me.

"Fuck, Eddie." I panted. "Oh my God."

"We ain't down yet, baby."

Before I could ask, I was dragged off the bed and shoved to the floor. Eddie towered above me and unbuckled his pants, slipping out of them. His cock was hard and pre-cum covered his tip. I tried to take it in my hand, but Eddie took my hand and kissed me. "Not tonight, darling," he said. "I have something better in mind. Turn around."

I did as he ordered and moved around, surprised to find myself sitting in front of the mirror. Eddie smirked at my reflection, stroking himself slowly as he slowly came up behind me. 

"You're gonna watch me fuck that little pussy of yours raw. You hear me? Watch. Don't close your eyes."

"Eddie —"

"Shut up."

He pushed me forward, pulled a condom on, and lined himself up, not allowing me a minute of rest as he pushed inside. I gasped and whined as his cock twitched inside me and in the mirror, I saw Eddie try to keep his moans contained, but he failed. 

"Fuck, sweetheart, you're tight."

His large hands grasped my hips and he held on, nails digging into my fat, as he drove himself in and out of me at a merciless pace. I moaned his name and tried to take his hand, desperate for more skin-to-skin contact. Eddie understood. He bent forward and grasped my chest, hurling me upwards. I needed to arch my back so that he was still able to fuck me fast and Eddie groaned, kissing my neck. 

"Touch yourself."

"It's too much."

"Did I stutter?"

Slowly, I moved my hand towards my aching clit and rubbed it in slow and controlled circles. Eddie groaned and messaged my breast, watching my hand movements like a hawk. 

"Faster," he demanded. 

Although the knot in my stomach was getting near to hurting me, I was able to speed up my pace and closed my eyes. Eddie mumbled my name, which caused shivers to run down my back, and I became tenser. 

"Open your eyes." 

My eyelashes flew open, and the image made me flinch; Eddie was sweating, and he was fucking me so hard that his balls were slapping against my ass cheeks. I massaged my clit so quickly that it had become numb. My throat was ripped apart by a sob, and Eddie yelled out my name as he too let out his sob. Tears streaked my vision as he slowly pulled himself out and slubbed back against the edge of my seat. His arms reached out and I wobbled towards him. He kissed my cheeks and wiped away the tears. 

"Did so good," he muttered, kissing my cheek. 

"That was amazing."

"I know. We should more often in front of the mirror."

"I felt like I was going to piss myself."

"Sweetheart, next time, you're gonna."

I was horny. Enjoy.

[foreverindreamlandd]

Locker Drama

Pairing: Neighbor!Steve Harrington x Plus Size!Reader

WC: 2.3k

Summary: Your locker neighbor, Tommy, can't seem to stop being an asshole to you. Even though they're technically friends, Steve draws the line when it comes to picking on someone who is apparently extremely important to him.

Warnings: Bullying, body image, fatphobia, protective Steve, does not contain spoilers for the show Stranger Things. Unedited because I am a piece of human garbage :,)

Note: Okay....so this is going to be the first fic within the Neighbor!Steve Harrington x Plus Size!Reader world. It's going to be a very loosely-structured series, friends to lovers with no real timeline (next fic could be them married with ten kids....kidding but you get the gist lol....hopefully). I hope you enjoy it! :)

*****

“All I’m saying is that when I grow up, I’m going to become Vice Principal of a school and tell any student athlete who thinks they have the right to skip finals and not do their homework to fuck off.”

You blanched at your best friend, shaking your head as you put your math books in your locker. “Robin, I’m pretty sure if you told a student to fuck off you would be fired on site.”

Robin groaned, head tilting up in frustration and leaning against the closed lockers beside yours.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll just give them the detentions they deserve rather than just letting them off the hook for being the golden children of the school. Us band kids have more brains and talent than any of those boneheads and we get diddly squat.”

“At least we can find solace in the fact that we most likely won’t peak in high school.” You grabbed your supplies for science class. “Well, you might actually, if you end up working at one, Mrs. Vice Principal.”

Your lips quirked up into a smug grin as Robin groaned again, this time turning to lean her forehead on the locker.

“Okay, new plan,” she said. “How about-”

“Can you believe Mr. Cooper gave me an F on my paper?” You fought back a groan as the whiney voice of your locker neighbor approached. “I know I got every answer right because I was copying off of that redhead’s work!”

Tommy Hagan - whom you affectionately referred to as Freckles - strolled over to the locker next to yours, head turned in the other direction at his girlfriend Carol as she pressed her body against his.

Though she was tiny, it was enough force to knock Tommy back and bump into you.

He turned to sneer at you. “Watch it, Tubby.” 

Your heartbeat quickened as both rage and shame flooded through you. At least the nickname you had given Freckles was somewhat tame. Tommy gave you one look up and down at the beginning of the school year and immediately deemed you as Tubby.

The first time he said it, you had thought you were hallucinating. It had always been your biggest insecurity, ever since you had put on weight in middle school, and kept putting it on up until this point no matter how many miles you ran and how many diet programs your mom had you try. Still, most of your peers had the courtesy of not saying anything, just letting you exist as long as you kept quiet and didn’t cause any problems.

Not Tommy, though. He just liked to push people’s buttons, and although he was dumb as rocks, he had a knack for identifying the things that hurt you the most.

The nickname stung like salt to a wound, but you knew to keep your head down and stay quiet. You saw what happened when people tried to fight back with Tommy. It only made him want to ramp it up.

He relished in the attention.

Your dearest, hot-headed best friend did not understand that, though, so when she heard his crude remark she scoffed. “Excuse you, numbnuts. But you’re the one who crashed into her.”

You narrowed your eyes at Robin, silently telling her to stop as Carol mewled. “Watch out, baby, you’re upsetting the freaks.”

“Yeah, well, I’m upset that I have to be in such close proximity as them all day!” Tommy’s voice grew louder as he opened his locker, side intentionally bumping into you once more to make a point. “All I’m saying is that it would be nice to have a locker next to someone who took up so much space! I can barely move around here.”

Carol giggled as tears started to burn your eyes. You kept your face in your locker in an attempt to hide your large frame from the world.

Maybe if I stand still for long enough I’ll just blend in and no one will notice me.

With your locker door still open, Tommy was out of view, so you only heard the slam of his door and a small yelp from Carol.

“That’s enough, Tommy,” a familiar voice declared.

Tommy scoffed. “Come on, Harrington. Just airing my grievances.” You could hear the dumb smile on his face.

“No, you’re just being a dick.”

You allowed yourself one small, almost unnoticeable smile.

“Why your panties all up in a bunch, King Steve? Am I being mean to your girlfriend or something?”

Your smile dropped.

There was a few moments of silence, and you could only imagine the type of disgusted face Steve was making then. 

“Just shove off and get to class before another teacher flunks you and you can’t be on the team anymore,” Steve responded, the fight gone from his voice, switching to the charismatic popular guy that almost everyone knew and loved.

This Steve made you sick to your stomach.

Regardless of the disappointment you felt, Steve’s shift in demeanor was enough to distract Tommy. “Ms. Pine would never flunk me, especially now that her daughter is on the cheerleading team. Gotta make sure our team makes her look as good as possible, which means I get a free ride through history.”

You heard him mumble a let’s go, baby to Carol and then the hallway immediately became less tense.

You still couldn’t move, though, still horrified by the public humiliation.

“I’ll kill that asshole,” Robin muttered, crossing her arms.

“It’s fine,” you whispered, quickly wiping your tears. 

“Hey.”

The familiar voice, now much softer and more sympathetic, was right behind you.

You closed your eyes for a second and willed the tears away before turning.

Steve Harrington stood in front of you, hands in his pockets and shoulders sagged, hair perfectly swooped to the side.

His lips were pressed into a thin line. “Sorry about that.” He shrugged. “Tommy’s an idiot.”

“He’s also a jerk, and still your best friend,” Robin cut in, glaring at Steve.

You watched him bite the inside of his cheek as his eyes flashed to Robin, running his fingers through his hair.

“It’s fine.” It seemed as if those were the only two words you were capable of saying.

“It’s not fine,” they both said at the same time, Robin with much more bite and Steve with a quiet assurance.

They both locked eyes in shock that they managed to agree on something, horror painting across their faces.

You couldn’t help but giggle at it.

Steve’s eyes went back to you, smile spreading across his face at the sound of your laugh.

“You sure you’re okay?” he asked, head tilting down a bit, making it so that his large, deep brown eyes stared into yours through his long lashes.

You fought the butterflies as they tried to swarm your stomach. 

“I’m fi- okay,” you said, switching words when Steve’s eyes narrowed.

He nodded. “I’ll deal with Tommy. Meet you after school?”

You nodded back. “Sounds good, Steve.” 

His smile grew ever so slightly when you said his name, and after making eye contact with Robin - who continued to glare at him - he walked down the hallway to his next class.

“You know I love you,” she said, shoulder leaning against the locker, “but I’ll never understand why you let that guy breathe the same air as you.”

You huffed. “It’s not like we’re besties, Robin.” Well, you used to be, but that was before Steve started high school and became an instant celebrity at Hawkins High. When Steve Harrington was just Stevie, and he was your favorite person in the entire world.

Now?

“He’s just my ride. As if I’d give up the BMW so I can ride the bus where the rest of the bullies dwell.”

She pursed her lips, still not buying it.

You sighed. “He’s a good person, Robin, I promise.”

At that, she scoffed, shaking her head and wrapped her arm around your neck to lead you to your next class.

“You’ve spent too much time in close proximity with Freckles, Y/n,” she muttered. “His idiot brain is starting to run off on you.”

*****

“How the hell do you have a B in chemistry?” Steve asked, shaking his head as you both got out of the car. “Erikson is brutal. I barely managed to get a D.”

“Hate to break it to you Steve,” you said while swinging your backpack over your shoulder, “but some studies show that doing your work and paying attention in class helps you learn enough to get a good grade.”

He whined, steps falling in line with yours as you approached the school building. “I bet it’s all a hoax. You actually suck at school and have found some new top-secret method of cheating.”

You gasped, feigning offense. “How dare you try to unveil my master plan and risk destroying my reputation as the school nerd?”

Steve laughed, opening the door for you as you walked in. “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.”

The two of you shared a small smile as you headed down the hallway. Your locker was closest to the entrance, so you prepared to break away and not see Steve until the end of school.

So it confused you when his stride continued to match yours, slowing as you both veered off to your locker.

Your eyes narrowed at him, slowly putting in your combination. “Listen Steve, I know you promised to keep things with Tommy handled, but I promise you don’t have to be my bodyguard anytime I’m at my locker.”

Steve’s head jerked back as he gave you a confused look, raising his hand to the lock of Tommy’s locker. “What do you mean? This is where all my stuff is.”

Your fingers began mindlessly turning your own lock, suddenly forgetting the combination as you stared at him wide eyed. “What…”

“I switched lockers,” he said with a casual shrug. You could see the corners of his lips twitch as he fought back a smile.

“You what?”

“What? It’s no big deal, Y/n. Tommy seemed to have such a big issue being here, whereas I think this is prime real estate.”

You bit your bottom lip, stomach turning to knots. “Steve…”

“It’s fine, Y/n. Besides, it makes sense that we’re neighbors in school and at home.” His face turned serious for a moment. “I told you I’d handle it. Now, you don’t have to worry.”

You scowled. “He’s still your friend, though. So he can come here and harass me anytime he wants-”

Steve shook his head. “Nope. Told him if he stepped foot anywhere near here that I’d have coach put him on the bench for the rest of the season.” He opened his locker, tossing his bag in and grabbing his books. His brows rose when he turned back to your still stunned expression. “Are you going to open your locker yet? Don’t want to be late for class and ruin that master plan of yours, Miss Cheaterpants.”

A bark of a laugh erupted from your chest and you lightly slapped Steve on the arm, pulling giggles from your new locker neighbor.

It brought an overwhelming sense of relief, having him by your side instead of Tommy. For months, you dreaded stopping here between classes, shielding yourself for another snide comment from Freckles.

Now, you didn’t need to worry. Steve was here, and though you weren’t the best friends you had been your whole lives, having him by your side made this spot finally feel like a safe space.

You turned your attention back to your lock, opening the door and grabbing books for your first class.

The worst part about Tommy’s complaints were that technically it was sometimes true. You did take up more space than others, meaning that your arm would inevitably wiggle around in his area as you moved.

And so, of course, the same thing would happen with Steve.

When your hip bumped against his, any sense of relief you had felt crumbled in seconds, the familiar feeling of shame the only thing left in its wake. 

Steve felt your body go rigid, and he rested a hand on your shoulder. “Hey,” he said, turning your body to face him. There was a tenderness in his face that you hadn’t seen in years. “The shit that he said yesterday, what I assume he’s been saying…it’s all bullshit, Y/n.”

You tried to shrug and force a smile, but Steve knew you better than that, and his hand squeezed your shoulder. “No, listen.” His eyes pierced yours, face leaning forward until it was inches from yours. “What he said was absolute bullshit, and he’s a complete idiot for not realizing how lucky he was to be so close to you all the time.”

His breath tickled your skin, causing you to blink a few times as you tried to identify the tone he was using as he said this. This was nothing like the Steve you grew up with, nor was it the voice of King Steve, ruler of Hawkins High.

This was something different, and it brought heat to your core.

He seemed to lose himself for a moment, leaning less than an inch closer and the movement was so overwhelming your breath hitched. That seemed to be enough to break the tension, and Steve swallowed, standing straight and grabbing his books.

“I should get going,” he murmured, using his free hand to run his fingers through his hair. He gave you a small smile. “See you next period?”

You blinked a few more times, bobbing your head up and down slowly.

Steve bit his bottom lip, staring at you for a few more seconds before closing his locker door and heading down the hallway.

Your gaze remained on the spot he had been standing at moments ago, a part of you wondering if you were dreaming.

Maybe the new locker situation wouldn’t be as easy as you thought….

*****

Thank you for reading! :)

Main Masterlist

[themirokai]

I did my at-least-annual tradition of making my family’s chicken soup recipe on Sunday, and I took process photos, so I thought I’d share. Here’s what I have written down but for all its vagueness it’s still not accurate.

I think every generation has modified some stuff about the process and tweaked it for their particular tastes.

Instead of using a whole chicken, I use a split chicken breast (2 halves) plus a pack of chicken thighs (4). I like this better because the ratio of meat to fiddly bits is better and Surfski likes CHICKEN soup (lots of chicken per bowl). You could easily use half a breast or one or two fewer thighs, but I think the mix of white and dark meat is important for flavor.

Next is something I added to the recipe after reading Salt Fat Acid Heat. I salt my raw chicken and let it sit out for at least half an hour before I put it in the water. I think this helps the chicken hold flavor through the cooking.

While the chicken is sitting (so a change from the order of the recipe) I chop a large sweet onion plus the carrots, celery, and parsnips. I think I used 5 skinny stalks of celery, 4 carrots and 5 parsnips, but especially given the size variability you’ve got to judge this based on vibes. How much of each vegetable does your heart tell you that you need in your soup? The one exception to this is if you are not familiar with parsnips and you are considering skimping on them or leaving them out. That is not your heart. That is the devil and you must resist. Trust me on this and use about as many parsnips as carrots.

The next step was added by my great aunt who was a genius in the kitchen (also very good at refurbishing antiques but that’s less relevant). You heat up some butter and olive oil and sautee your vegetables in it. Yes it makes another pan to clean but it’s completely worth it. You don’t cook it for long! Just until the carrots and celery get bright and the onion is just starting to get translucent and everything is a tiny bit soft.

Ok, set the veg aside but I highly recommend snacking on some of the parsnips at this point. Every time I make chicken soup it always makes me want to make roast parsnips and I always forget when I’m meal planning.

Next it’s chicken time! Load your chicken into a big heavy pot and cover it with water. I just barely cover it because I’m going to need room for lots of veg.

Put that on your biggest burner and boil it. It will take a while to come up to a good boil. Once it’s boiling it will start to foam. This stuff.

Ick. Skim that off and throw it away.

Now, when the foaming is done, turn down the heat and dump in your veg. Mix it all in there then put your bunch of dill on top. Make sure you take off the twist tie or anything else holding the dill together.

My mom added this next step which she got from a friend of hers. It’s this shit called Better Than Bouillon.

You can use the plain chicken variety. Roast chicken is just what my grocery store had. I’m not 100% sure what it is but it really does add gorgeous flavor to the soup. I put one big spoonful in a big pot. This is what it looks like out of the jar.

Now you let everything cook together until the chicken is cooked. How long will that take? 🤷🏻‍♀️ Depends on the size of your chicken pieces and how high you have the heat, etc. When you think it might be done, pull out your biggest piece of chicken and poke it. It should be white and firm. If it is, pull the rest of the chicken out too and turn the heat way down but leave the veg and the dill in to simmer.

Now you walk away. Go scroll tumblr. Read a chapter of a book. Draw something. But you gotta let the chicken cool down.

Why? Because you’re going to shred that with your fingers and you don’t want to burn your fingerprints off. Or maybe you do. I don’t know your life.

Anyway, this is a good spot for me to stop and hit post because I’m on mobile and I’ll run up against the 10 image limit.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this so far! The rest of the recipe and the end product will be in a reblog.

[tortillasconsal]

I thought I should share my design for Jeff the Killer since I'm done with his headcanons

Here he is

Now my thought process:

I didn't do a lot lmao

Let's start with the biggest detail: his face. My first thought when I started Jeff was that I wanted his skin to actually look like it was lit on fire, I'm tired of fair skinned paper-white Jeff, give me scars and deformity.

His hair was the most complicated thing to figure out oddly enough. I wanted to add some bald spots but I also wanted him to keep an emo hairstyle and be true to the character, but couldn't figure out how. I'm not really upset at it because I feel like he could use it to cover up his face more for when he's in public.

I also struggled a lot with how I was going to draw it (the most accurate hairstyle is the one on the full-body drawings).

I feel like his hair would be very mistreated. It would have the texture of an old wig and a matted dog's hair, quoting the comment a friend made on my WIP post of this piece.

His eyes are now brown, because he took them from his mom let's say. I tried to stick with the blue eyes but I didn't like it, I did add like a white thing on them to keep the same effect blue eyes would have and to show the fact that he's almost blind because he almost got his eyelids burnt.

Now the clothes. So I just kept the white hoodie-black pants combo because its iconic, but I did my best to decorate it because it was very boring and it looked very flat in contrast to the hands and the head. But not too much because I don't want to have a very meow-meow scene aesthetic for my AU.

I mainly went for stitches, a patch and some wholes on his clothes to kind of show off how worn they are because I didn't want to go for too many accesories because that'd take away from the seriousness.

I wanted to add dirt and dubious spots on his hoodie but I forgor 💀

I was planning on skinny black jeans, but I didn't liked how the silhouette looked so I gave him some baggy pants. I think its better for him anyway, since some skinny jeans would probably irritate his skin a lot.

I did gave him a classic belt to keep the whole emo style around because I think that could show how he's still a young man who's into sad music and whatever emos like. To show some personality. There's also a chain to add balance to the belt and add depth to the pants.

I also wanted to give him a bandana (a paliacate) because I feel like it would be more usefull and also link him to his mexican background. I didn't add it because I forgot about it, but I do want to say that he would also use a bandana.

I wanted his gloves to have fingers because carrying gloves just makes more sense in order to protect his hands with all the killing, forest environment, carrying knives and guns and his sensitive skin. They didn't look good with fingers, because I didn't feel like putting effort on the hands so it just looked like a weird black thing that fused with the pants so I had to switch it up to fingerless gloves.

It makes sense with his emo style anyway.

I gave him a rosary to link him to his mexican and catholic background, I've seen a lot of alt people use them so I though it would be a nice accesory to give depth to his black tee's.

The rosary also has a deeper meaning, but it would be too long to add in this post so I'll probably do another one purely focused on it since it also involves Liu's backstory and relationship with Jeff.

Yeah, so this is the Jeff or my AU 🤙

I was originally planning on sharing this on the Headcanons post, but it got too long so I decided to share this on a separate post. And also to have something while I work on the other requests.

I might do the same for those characters as well, though it will take me more time since uni is giving me more and more homework.

[strqyr]

I've been sooo back and forth on Summer willingly joining Salem tbh. I mean, given what Salem said to Ruby in v7 ("your mother said those words to me etc") it doesn't make a ton of sense? UNLESS Summer did go there to stop her but was defeated or tortured a bunch or Salem threatened her family, idk

Even with the v9 flashback there's still so much mystery to Summer that it could literally go either way. Raven give us answers I'm frothing at the mouth over here

i completely understand the feeling. there's definitely a bunch of arrows pointing at all kinds of directions, so what it really comes down to for me is figuring out 1. which ones are potential red herrings, and 2. would they spell out the answer before the big reveal?

it was the same with 'is this alyx?' i read a lot of theories about who might have been ascended alyx, and i could see the logic behind them all, if some more than the others... and then it turns out that alyx was just alyx, never ascending and becoming someone else.

that alone makes me lean towards the option that if summer is alive—which is looking likely, i don't think they would avoid saying she's dead for so long only for her to actually be dead—she's going to be recognizably herself. then there's also like. the way the writers do mysteries is less about drawing attention to things that need explanation and more about introducing something and leaving it to stew in the background while distracting the audience with something else.

and that gets me to the questions like 1. why does salem have two extra seats at the table? 2. who at beacon was she talking to via a seer, a method of communication we've only seen happen between two people? and 3. salem wants ruby brought to her alive (despite cinder wanting her dead, and tyrian thought she was sending him to kill her at first) and let's yang and her friends go (despite the grimm arms holding through hazel punching her!! it's one thing if the punch had caused them to disappear but that's not what happened!!) after yang identifies summer as her mom. why?

i think the biggest stumbling block people have over summer working for salem willingly is that they see it as summer being suddenly Evil™ when that's. not the point lol. i mean i wouldn't complain if it was, i love my evil ladies very much, but to me it's more about summer learning what salem's end goal actually is, making a choice for what she considers a better option, while also holding to her morals as much as she can: she has not partaken in any of the destruction directly, if she's commanding the grimm at beacon she's keeping them there instead of letting them spread to vale after the initial attack, and would have made a deal with salem that her family comes to no harm.

what you end up is a character with complexities, who has made difficult choices and stuck with them. sure, her lying and keeping secrets already covers some of that but also... it would be kind of boring if those are her biggest flaws narratively like c'mon, that's the whole cast right there, that's like the bare minimum lmao give me more to chew on.

i'm so ready for raven to gives us answers but i'm also fully prepared to spam the 'where's the rest of it' gif right after cos i bet she bailed right before summer's fate was sealed.

[cryptidwritings]

WIP Questionnaire

Snatching up the open tag from @i-can-even-burn-salad and will make this one an open tag, also. Feel free to tag me if you do it.

I really need to make a list of people who would like to be tagged in stuff...

I can only do one WIP at a time, so of course this is for Dark Water, though I might re-do this for another WIP that I have in mind.

This got long, the rest of it (and the template) are under the cut.

What was the first part of your wip that you created?

Dark Water actually started as a present day one-shot where I was exploring the idea of a whumpee held captive on a small boat (think a personal one-man sailing boat), Adair and Moss both came from that. It eventually fell flat, but I still really enjoyed the concept and the characters. Once I put them in the right time period, everything else started revealing itself.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

This song was on REPEAT when I started it. Pretty sure it made it on my Spotify Wrapped that year.

3. Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

Moss: he's been through a lot, and has plenty of reasons to be angry and to just give up but keeps going anyway. He's more stubborn than optimistic, basically of the thought that if he casts a wide enough net then hes bound to catch something. His determination usually goes too far and ends up hurting himself, and others, in the process.

Isidro: loves his mom, loves his family, but was kept away from them due to no fault of his own but earned the self-loathing through all of his choices since then.

Theodora: She's strong, logical, a hard worker and self-reliant, all good and amazing things... when balanced. Unfortunately, she lives in a world that doesn't allow her to be anything else at the threat of her own survival.

Isola: She's emotionally cold, and tenacious for personal gain. She understands her place in the world, and where most would feel pangs of guilt or even second-guess their actions, she's unapologetic and convinced she's 100% right in her brutality. She's fun to write, fun to think about, and fun to describe. (the moment where her feet are up on a table with her boots dripping blood was in my mind for ages and I WILL get that commissioned someday. I have a mighty need.)

4. What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

I... don't know :,) . I'm really bad at following current and trending stuff because I have limited time when I'm not working, and I'd rather write than do anything else.

Low hanging fruit would be Pirates of the Caribbean, if you also like the idea of Davy Jones being a human woman. That's not spoilers, that's just how I see her.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

The same struggle with every WIP... pacing. If I do a more official edit for Dark Water, that'll be what I tackle first.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Ghost - Isidro's horse, is a brown mare with white front feet. His best friend, essentially.

Theodora's horses are unnamed, also her best friends.

A dog named Crow who will come up eventually. I've had the chapter where he comes up written for a long time because I needed to get it out of my head. I posted a sentence from that chapter forever ago thinking I only had a few chapters to go before getting there... the novel had other plans.

7. How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

On foot or by horse... or unwillingly being pulled behind a horse on foot :)

8. What part of your wip are you working on rn?

The end of the second arc, ramping up to the beginning of the third. I'm on the cusp, like the moment before the rollercoaster begins going down, just sitting up there like... well this is taking forever, but the words aren't wording.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

Sad wet cat of a man, buff but sad women, PIRATES, aroace main character who has a lot of displaced anger... sword fights.

10. What are your hopes for your wip?

That people will read it and go 'hell yeah' sometimes.

... TEMPLATE ...

1 What was the first part of your wip that you created?

2 If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3 Who are your favourite characters you've made? Why?

4 What other pieces of media do you think would share a fan base for your story?

5 What has been your biggest struggle with your wip?

6 Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7 How do your characters get around? (ex: trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8 What part of your wip are you working on rn?

9 What aspects (tropes, maybe?) of your wip do you think will draw people in?

10 What are your hopes for your wip?

[potionsprefect]

Extra Support

Pairings: Ethan Ramsey x Victoria Clarke

Word Count: 1.6k

Summary: Some big news leads to Ethan making a decision

Rating: General Audiences

Category: Fluff

The early morning sun shine through the gap in the curtains, a bright streak of light warming up Jenner who was laying in his bed, snuggling against his toy.

“Jenner come here!” Victoria patted the bed in front of her.

Jenner jumped up, toy in hand and snuggled against the duvet of Ethan and Victoria’s bed.

“There’s no sunlight here. I bet he’ll jump straight back down and go back to his bed.” Ethan laughed.

A few minutes of silenced passed, Ethan and Victoria waiting to see if Jenner would leave their bed but he didn’t, too focused on the toy he had.

“Maybe our bed is just that comfy.” Victoria laughed.

“I knew that the mattress was a good idea.” Ethan said.

“It will be in months time. Especially during the night feeds.” Victoria smiled down her slightly swollen stomach.

Ethan scooted closer so that his eyes were level with Victoria’s stomach, a big dopey grin on his face. “An even better reason to then.” He pressed two kisses to Victoria’s stomach. “I can’t believe there’s two in there.”

Yesterday, Ethan and Victoria found out that they were expecting twins. Well, Victoria had. Ethan had missed the scan. But Victoria didn’t mind that much. He would’ve fainted if he had found out during the ultrasound.

“We’re going to need two of everything. Two cots, two changing tables.”

“Two lots of baby grows, nappies and toys.” Ethan laughed sitting up.

“And a buggy that carries two.” Victoria grinned.

“I thought we would have to go through this journey twice, but knowing you might only have to go through it once makes it even more exciting.” Ethan rubbed a gentle hand across Victoria’s stomach.

Victoria caressed his cheek in her hand. “You’re going to be a brilliant Dad Ethan. You have the biggest heart and our two children are going to love you to bits.”

Ethan looked down, clearly trying not to cry but Victoria noticed a small tear roll down his cheek. He leaned his forehead against Victoria’s.

When he didn’t speak, Victoria spoke. “Ethan? Are you okay?”

Ethan leaned back, a small smile on his face. “Yeah. I’m excited to become a Dad, but I’m also scared.”

“Why are you scared?” Victoria asked.

Ethan sighed. “Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to become a Dad. But what if I’m not good enough? What if I’m not the Dad they need? What if I end up like my Mom? What if they hate me? What if-“

Victoria cut him off by cupping his face in her hands. The worried look on his face hadn’t vanished but he stopped rambling. “Ethan.” She smiled softly. “You are NOTHING like your Mom. I know with everything in me that you would never do that to me, to us.” She placed his hands on her belly.

“It’s always constantly on my mind.”

“I know it is. And it’s okay to feel like that. You went through a very traumatic thing that no child should ever have to go through. It’s okay to wonder, especially at a time like this.”

“I don’t want to feel like this though. I’m happy, of course I am. But… I want to feel like that all the time, not have this feeling nagging me when I don’t need it.” Ethan replied.

“Can I suggest therapy? I think it would do you good to talk to someone about how you are feeling. It will help you understand what you went through.”

“And stop me feeling like this.” Ethan chuckled slightly.

“You’re human. It’s okay to feel lots of different things. But please remember that you are the kindest and most brilliant human I have ever met. You are going to be a fantastic Dad to our children.”

Victoria leant forward and softly pressed her lips to Ethan’s, drawing out the moment as his hands found her hair. Victoria pulled away first, resting her forehead against Ethan’s.

“You always have the right words.” Ethan said.

“As I’ve been told.” Victoria smiled.

“I’ll make an appointment with the therapist today. The sooner, the better.”

“Do you want me to come with you? I can change my meeting if needed?”

Ethan thought it over for a minute. “I think it’s best I go on my own. It’s not that I don’t want you there but this is something I need to do for me.” He took her hand, gently stroking the back with his thumb.

“That’s fine. Just let me know when it is and I’ll wait for you.” Victoria smiled.

“Thank you for always being by my side.” Ethan smiled.

“Always.” Victoria smiled back.

Victoria was heading up towards the therapists office, Ethan having bagged the lunch time slot this morning when he arrived at work.

She was proud of Ethan for deciding to take this big step. She completely understood why he felt the way he did and suggested that talking to someone would help him process why he was feeling this way.

Victoria got off the elevator and headed towards the therapists office. She took a seat in the waiting area, pulling out her phone, looking at the various photos of herself and Ethan.

She smiled as she swiped through each one, the smile on Ethan’s face in the photos widening with each photo. Being with Victoria made him happy, like a new person.

The door to one of the therapists’ office opened. Victoria saw Ethan emerge, shaking the hand of his therapist before closing the door behind him.

Victoria got up and rushed over to him, pulling him into a tight hug. She buried her head into his shoulder, savouring having him in her arms.

“Hey, woah! Slow down. I’m ok.” Ethan chuckled, wrapping his arms around Victoria.

“I know it’s just…” Victoria pulled back, cupping Ethan’s face in her hands. “I was worried about you. How was it?” Victoria took his hand as they made his way to his office.

“It was okay. I opened up, and Lucy is a very good listener.” Ethan chuckled.

“Rafael and I have gone to her and spilled all our secrets. But she is amazing. Really helped us after everything we went through.” Victoria said. “Are you allowed to talk about what you discussed?”

“She said speaking to you would help. And that it’s completely normal to feel how I am feeling. I have an appointment in a couple of weeks.” Ethan sat down on the sofa as they made their way into his office.

“I told you. Luckily an expert confirmed it.” Victoria laughed as she handed Ethan his lunch. “Don’t worry, your salad is cold, I kept it in the fridge.”

“My hero.” Ethan laughed, pressing a kiss to Victoria’s head.

“I’m really proud of you. I hope you know that.” Victoria smiled.

“I do, and it means a lot. If I can be a better person to these two then that’s the main thing.” Ethan laid a gentle hand on Victoria’s stomach.

“You already were. They’re going to love you, just like I do.” Victoria snuggled up beside him.

He held the most precious person in the world in his arms and in a few months time, he would have two more precious people in his life. He simply couldn’t wait.

Ethan left the therapists office, a spring in his step as he made his way out.

It was his first therapy session since Luke and Lily were born and his wife and children were waiting for him in the diagnostics team office.

The worry of becoming a Dad subsided with each session, he had understood why he felt the way he did and ways in which to cope with it. By the time Luke and Lily had arrived and he held them for the first time, he saw his entire world in his arms. And he would do anything for them.

Ethan reached the diagnostics team office, his smile widening when he saw Victoria.

“How did it go?” His wife tore her gaze from their twins.

“It was good. She recommended once a month now, apparently I’ve made great progress.” Ethan smiled as he sat down on the teams sofa.

“You have, you should be proud of yourself.” Victoria smiled.

“I am. I see you managed to escape the crowds.” Ethan chuckled.

“I didn’t know so many people would be so excited to see them. It’s like there was a never ending line of people queuing up.” Victoria replied. “Not that these two noticed, they slept through the entire thing.”

“As they should, they were awake most of the night, how convenient of them to be asleep the one time we need them.” Ethan laughed.

“They’re cute so they get a pass.” Victoria shrugged.

“Can’t argue with that.” Ethan laughed.

Victoria laughed as well. “Sometimes it still seems surreal that they’re still here. We’ve been waiting for so long.”

“I can’t believe I’m a father. I thought it would never happen, that’s why I felt the way I did. I didn’t know if it was possible, if I could be enough for them. Now every time I look at them, I see so much hope.” Ethan said as he watched his children sleep.

“You are more than enough. For them and for me. I’m proud of you. I know it hasn’t been easy, but you’ve done so well.” Victoria pulled Ethan into her arms.

Ethan rested his head against Victoria’s shoulder. “That means a lot. I’m so lucky to have you.”

Victoria pressed a kiss to his forehead. “As am I.”

“Have I ever told you you give the best hugs?” Ethan lifted his head off her shoulder.

“You have once or twice. But I don’t mind hearing it again.” Victoria laughed.

The couple absorbed the silence, watching their children sleep soundly in their buggy. It was at this moment that Ethan couldn’t imagine life being any better.

Whatever he faced next, he knew he would have his wife by his side, she was all he ever needed. And their two perfect children had completed his life, he had a purpose, a reason to live and breathe.

He would do anything for them.

For @choicesficwriterscreations naughty or nice event

Tagging in reblog

[hyperbolicreverie]

I read the latest chapter, and suffice to say I'm worried...

Ah, pretty sure I know what this is about. Spoilers for One Piece chapter 1063 under the cut.

So I'm assuming this is about Law because his situation is definitely the part of the last chapter I would call the most concerning. And I do have some thoughts on this frankly terribly unexpected encounter.

First off: I don't think he's going to die here. Considering the themes in the story that have been particularly strong lately of a new generation ascendant--which, admittedly, Blackbeard is generally included in--it would seem a weird choice to knock Law out of the story entirely here, especially when he's one of the primary people in the story that lens has been focused on after the Straw Hats.

But, more specifically, I think it would be a genuinely weird choice to do so after all of the focus Law has received in regards to having a new dream to pursue. He has a specific goal--what is the Will of D?--and we've seen him actively pursuing that despite how recently we comparatively learned about it. We see him talking to Robin, affirming his desire to learn about it in the basement of Onigashima, acknowledge he has to go through people like Big Mom to get the information he's looking for, and actively follow up on his leads by taking a field trip (with Robin, again) to see Wano's road poneglyph. (I just. I just really want a Robin and Law team-up so very very much).

It's just a lot of focus to put on a character you're planning on killing as soon as the current arc ends. And here's the thing: Law didn't need this new dream to get him through Wano. He still would have been there fighting. Robin could have eventually learned the information he's looking for (and almost certainly will anyway) and that could have been the way that information was revealed in story.

But we've gone out of our way to establish a D clan member with active interest in the mystery, and since Luffy doesn't care, it feels like Law at the very least needs to stick around long enough to do so, in the name of at least one of the people in question with that name actually giving a flying fuck about one of the series' greatest mysteries.

He's got multiple death flags hanging over his head, sure, and someday one of them might come due, but I don't think that's now.

That said, it doesn't mean he gets out of this unscathed.

Of note, Blackbeard doesn't say he wants Law's devil fruit, which is interesting, because he did explicitly state he wanted Boa's. So there's a good chance he's not here to rip it out of Law, no matter the Ope Ope no Mi's reputation. He wants Law's copies of the poneglyphs, because he's an opportunist.

I do think it's interesting that this is a random encounter: Blackbeard straight up says he was waiting for whichever of the Boys left Wano in this direction. And I think that Law being the unlucky one of the trio here suggests a few things:

First, it makes the most sense for it to be him. It can't be Luffy, because he's the protagonist and needs to be off keeping the main plot going, and Kid is off looking for the 'man marked by flames,' so that means he's busy. Not to mention we still need to learn about his issues with Shanks. So, unlucky draw for plot relevance, I guess.

However, this could be an excuse to reveal some information to the audience, and the two biggest contenders I can think of are the mystery of Blackbeard's weird body, and Rocky Port.

On the first, Law is the natural person to be able to figure this out, because of his abilities. He might honestly actually already know, since it's confirmed in this chapter that they've met before.

Which brings me to my second point: Rocky Port, one of the most mysterious events to have happened in the series. And if Coby is on Blackbeard's ship at this moment, that puts all three key players of the incident in the same place.

Also: Law at the end of the chapter is looking very cocky. Not that he hasn't demonstrated this kind of behavior before, but right out the gate? He's usually a little more serious than this. Which could suggest he has a plan, or knows something he's not letting on.

There is also the fact that Blackbeard likely doesn't know the full extent of Law's abilities--his awakening is broken as fuck and also a new development. Law could genuinely surprise him, and he also has the advantage of likely knowing at least the baseline of how Blackbeard's devil fruit nullification works. This being Law, I cannot imagine him not workshopping the hell out of potential counters to it if he does.

But I think the big thing here is that as much as I think the narrative support is there to keep him alive, I think he's going to lose something here, because part of this is going to be showing Blackbeard's increasing threat. Maybe he's captured (again! So many times!) or maybe his poneglyph rubbings do get stolen, or something else. Maybe someone else shows up who's enough of a threat he can get away, who knows? There are legitimately so many ways this can go.

And I'm not sure we'll even get to see it, unless there really is something the audience needs to learn here. We could not know how this fight shapes up for a really long time; the end of the current arc, even, if it gets off-screened in its entirety.

On a more meta note...this is going to be one of those situations where no matter the outcome, some of the fanbase are going to cry foul. It'll be bad writing if Law lives, it'll be bad writing if he does well, it'll be bad writing if he does poorly, it'll be bad writing if he wins. Some people seem genuinely excited for Law dying, because death seems to be the only thing they think raises stakes. Which is a sentiment I've never understood, but I'm not here to dictate how other people experience their media. I just find it deeply unrelatable.

I, personally, just kind of want him to have one good thing happen to him in canon. I don't care if he continues on being a pirate, or retires to run the world's most unassailable hospital on an island somewhere. Let the boy be happy, for fuck's sake. Maybe it's optimistic of me to want a good end for a character with so much tragedy and lingering death hanging over him, but I'll own the fact that I am a gooey-hearted sentimentalist and say that I think that'd be a better end to his character arc at this point than his death.

(And on that note, to all the people calling out the Heart Pirates for being "too weak" and that Law should have ditched them a long time ago, and that maybe if they die here Law can have a crew worth a damn: you have missed the point of the Heart Pirates, and of a huge chunk of Law's characterization, and shut up).

[darklydeliciousdesires]

Beyond the Blood Tie - Chapter Seven.

*Puts on Oprah voice* You get another chapter, and you get another chapter! Lol! Thanks to the few who are showing interest in this, I appreciate you SO much for your continued interacting. Those just offering likes, could I tempt you into commenting or reblogging? Helping me promote this story a little really would mean the world to me!

Previous Chapters - One  Two, Part One Part Two  Three  Four  Five  Six

Words - 6,109

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

Warnings - 18+ content throughout. Minors DNI!

Edie’s POV

"Edie, are you with us? We're getting dessert, you want anything?" Miley asks me, shaking me from the little trance state I’ve slipped into. I think she must have put the question to me more than once.

"Sorry, erm, yeah get me a slice of the flan I saw, thank you.” My reply is absent, Miley nodding as she gets up and heads over to the dessert bar. We're in an all you can eat for twenty-five dollars kind of restaurant, and believe me, we've eaten all we can thus far. Of course, we've saved a little room for dessert, though, that'd just be rude to refuse some lovely sweet treats.

"You've been noticeably quiet today for someone so damned chatty. Is everything okay?" Sasha inquires kindly, before the realisation hits her. "Shit, sorry I asked. I know, your mom." She reaches out with a sad smile, giving the top of my hand a little rub.  

This is why I lost my shit couple of days ago when the vampire managed to pick up on a memory of my mother. He can't have gained any knowledge on what she used to do to me, exactly, or he'd have said so, and not constantly questioned me over who she was. True, I always channel a little of the rage I have inside for how she treated me through my profession, but at this time of year I'm extra sensitive. She killed herself, finally doing me the biggest favour she ever could, thirteen years ago this coming Monday. My friends know that, but what they don't know is something I've kept from everyone, something I found next to her body when I found her, something that has never really left me.

I don't speak of it, because I don't want to draw attention to myself, and I don't want to deal with it either. I don't feel sad so much, but I remember what I found, her last words to me. That's why I'm not myself around now. I usually hold it together, but that fucking vampire had to start picking at the scab. I hate that he saw her, and I hate that he's got it firmly in his head that he's going to find out who she is, and why she drives my rage. It's none of his damn business, though. He only wants to know for his own amusement.

"Don't worry, its fine. I'm just tired from work on top of it, so feeling a little down right now. Really, don't stress. You know me, I bounce back ridiculously easily," I reassure her with, Sasha nodding understandingly.

"Well, I know you've got work on Monday, of course, but if you want some company before you head in, I can be available? After all, I do conveniently have next week off work," she offers kindly. Sasha works a job I never could. She's a financial adviser, and oh, how dull to be cooped up all day like a battery hen in a little office behind a desk. Awful.  

"Nah, I'm cool, really. I've never needed anyone to hold my hand over the fact my no-good drunk mother died, and I don't intent to start now. Thanks for the offer, though.” My air of finality is read clearly.

"You're welcome." Just then, Miley arrives back, and Sasha and I are treated to an observation from her bizarre brain. Our friend here is famed for them, the fact that she’s... well... a little odd at times. She isn’t stupid by a long shot, but the way her mind works is unique, I’ll give her that.  

“This is the flan, isn’t it? I brought this as well, just in case I was wrong.” She places down the correct plate of fruit flan, as well as a crepe. Sasha and I exchange looks.  

“That’s a crepe, babe,” she points, Miley taking her seat.

“Oh! I thought because it was flat, it might have been flan. You know, both begin with an f and an l.” More confused looks.

“I’m gonna need a harder drink and another run up to that, honey,” I tell her softly, shaking my head.  

“You know! Like a muffin, because it’s big and puffy. Muff, puff.”  

Sasha pulls her into a hug. “No, baby. That’s not how it works.”

“Isn’t it? Oh.” I love her so much. She comes out with things that honestly make you wonder about her, but then, see, she can tell you every single one of Shakespeare’s works in chronological order. Sasha and I think it’s because she’s very bright, that something else in her brain overloads from it and she ends up jumbled. Bizarreness aside, I definitely feel like she’s someone who I learn from. She actually listened in school.

She’s the one who actually encouraged me to read in order to educate myself further, using tools such as a very old book store and mini library that just opened up again in recent years after lying dormant and untouched for a hundred years. The squatters who lived in it did a nice job doing it up and applied to take over the business, and since no living heir to the original owner could be documented, they got their wish.

Miley actually works there now, which is nice when I go in and visit, trying to feed my mind a little with what it craves. I used to struggle with a lot and need a dictionary there next to me to look up words I didn't understand, but now I feel my vocabulary is much more advanced, I hardly refer to it any longer. Sometimes, an obvious word will have me stuck and then I'll remember something stupidly long and tricky like surreptitious. That's the word I'd use to describe quite a few things on my mind right now, or rather why I'm being surreptitious about them. My mother is one, and the other, and it pains me to say this, is the vampire.

I really don't know what to make of him, but whatever his intention, he's starting to lure me in a little. I can't let that happen either, whether the times he's complimentary and speaks fairly to me are genuine or not. It isn't part of the job description. Nothing would stop me from knowing him after his release, but that's not going to happen. Like I say, I don't know what to make of him. I don't usually have my emotions stirred by a detainee at all. I'm calm, cold and very professional. If each detainee had me in the kind of mental flap this vampire does, I'd have never lasted the ten years I have.

I don't want to admit it to myself, that I'm attracted to him and interested by him, because I barely know him. Then I remember I'm not attracted to vampires, and it quickly comes to me that he's probably screwing with me anyway. Further to that, I don't like it because I confess (or rather concede) that I do like the way I've caught him look at me on occasion, and then I swiftly remember he's a detainee and none of this should be going through my head.  

People warned me not to let him find a way in, and he's beginning to. This is starting to confuse me in a way I do not enjoy, but then again, who actually does enjoy being confused? I know I could sit and talk to my girlfriends here about my woes, but I'm apprehensive over what they might say. Admitting it to someone other than myself would make it more real, these things I'm beginning to feel. He stirs my curiosity so much, all he’s seen, the knowledge he must possess. I mean, that thing about the steel that the chamber was constructed from, for example. Something so small, but I was impressed by it. Most would have no clue that the chambers used to exist as vaults. He did, though.  

After lunch, we head up to the main shopping area and have a bit of a typical girl's afternoon, which entails a lot of purchasing of clothes and makeup, but by the time I'm all set to kiss my friend's goodbye, I’m sadly no closer to anything that remotely resembles feeling myself, so head home and spend two hours trying to take my mind off things by having a clear out of my closet. Even though the five skirts I bought are my usual brand of teeny tiny (I have a nice figure that I'm proud of, I like to show it off a little) I still need to allocate a little extra room for them. Allocate, that's my word of the day.

"What on earth was I thinking?" I exclaim when I pull out a pair of tie dye baggy cotton pants and laugh. My taste in clothes can be a little dire at times. I'll put those on eBay, I think, see if anyone out there is as foolish as I was in thinking I could make them work. On I go, actually finding a few items in here that I forgot I owned, such as my lovely white gypsy skirt and my jewelled strap cork wedge shoes that I've been hunting high and low for.

"Hahaha, the Liberace jacket!" I then announce with a barrage of giggles as I pull the huge, white faux fur monstrosity from its place right at the back of my closet. Ahmed came up with the name for it, when he stood pointing and laughing on his thirty fifth birthday last year before shouting 'Holy shit, Liberace lives!' at me. He had a theme for the party, which was pimps and hoes, in case you wondered, and I kinda came as a cross between the two. I was aiming for sexy pimp, so brought this jacket from Goodwill for something ridiculous like ten dollars, and then teamed it with a gorgeous silver and heavily jewelled bikini, silver knee high boots and a white top hat I added lots of glitter and white feathers to, and a cane I attacked with rhinestones and a glue gun. That was such a good night, and you should have seen the guy I went home with too. He was damned hot.

It's just as I'm raiding a few boxes of shoes and planning to give Miley first refusal on the pairs I know I'll never wear again that suddenly I stop, beginning to experience flashes of memories. Again, the memories are not mine. They, of course, belong to the vampire who is never far from my mind of late. I can see a girl screaming 'please, please don't hurt me' and then hear the voice of the vampire telling her 'I'm here to protect you, not hurt you' before the vision that is his plays through my head, seeing him surge at a group of the reanimated, tearing them to pieces.  

I then see three other vampires with him, all moving humans to safety while attacking anything that isn’t living until they are just corpses on the floor. The memory then changes again, and I see a wide stretch of open road from the vantage point of being aboard a large motorcycle, switching again, to a scene in an abandoned warehouse, where I see a gun pointed out, the person before me being shot straight between the eyes, a few flashes of random, barely dressed women, too, until suddenly everything goes black, like he's shutting his eyes.

When he opens them again, I get a huge shock, as the face smiling back at him is mine, him leaning close and kissing me softly, his hands stroking through my hair.  Now, if he truly was just fucking with me, why would he be thinking about that, about showing me affection? Shaking my head, I try and rid myself of these visions, but keep seeing my face, seeing it through his eyes, stroking my cheeks and neck, pulling me against him, his arms folding around me. I resort to physically pounding my head with my fists to make it go away, making frustrated squeaking noise, feeling freaked out and more when I clearly then hear his voice whisper my name. No. Edie does not like this, not one bit.

"No, no, no. No!" I shout with vehemence, flapping my hands as I come hurtling out of my tiny little walk-in closet (it used to be just a cupboard, until Vic converted it for me) and literally run to the kitchen to pull a bottle of Jim Beam from the fridge, hunting for a clean glass. Sigh, I loaded the dishwasher half an hour ago, all of them within being rinsed through. Ahh, fuck it. Upending the bottle, I take a few neat swigs, feeling a little calmer for it, but not by much.

Does he really want me? And if he does, why do I even care? I don't want him; he's a vampire and they do nothing for me. But then if that is truly true, why is my heart pounding at what feels like three hundred miles an hour? Why are my hands shaking so much that it looks like the whiskey in the bottle in my hand is doing a Samba all on its own? And why... why did I just imagine what it'd be like to kiss him?

"Face it, Bailey. You like him, you've gone and let your guard drop and he's got in. You've fucked up here, girl. You really have," I speak to my reflection in the glass fronted cabinet before me. What makes it worse is the fact I have no one I can talk to about this. If I tell my friends, they'll think I'm insane, if I tell my colleagues, they'll give me shit about how we can't develop feelings or attractions to detainees, and if I tell Vic, he'll probably react with a mix of the two. In times like this, I wish I had parents to turn to, people who are non-judgemental and would love me the exact same anyway, while offering some much-needed sage advice. I know Vic has been like a father to me, but he doesn't understand the way vampires are very well. He'd tell me I can resist it, he'd say he taught me better than to be anything less than the strong woman I know I otherwise am. I don't want to disappoint him in that respect.

I have to resist it, this urge, this pull I feel towards the vampire. He just wants to hurt me, and I know it. I'm his only form of entertainment down there, of course he's messing with me for his own enjoyment. He's a highly intelligent being, with a mind that's beginning to stagnate (stagnate, yesterday’s word of the day) with nothing to occupy it. We never get humans in for this long, so they never have to bother trying to cure their boredom in the same way.  

Because he's a vampire though, that is what makes him completely different. Sasha told me a long time ago that they have an allure about them that you just cannot put your finger on, and up until now, I never understood it. I understand it way too much for my liking at present. Feeling all out of sorts and pissed off, I head out into my garden where I keep my weights and bench, and after doing a warm up and twenty minutes of skipping (I love my jump rope) I hit the dumbbells.

I can't use the bar weight as I have no one to spot me, with my neighbours' son Leland being out right now. He usually hops over the fence if I call him over his music and comes to train with me, but he must be off out with his friends since their backyard is totally silent. It is a Saturday, after all. I'm usually out with my friends about now too, having a few warm up drinks at a bar before heading onto a few more, and then finishing up at a club, but I told Ahmed I wasn't in the mood when he invited me, the same with Miley and Sasha. They understood, of course.

Working out usually clears my mind, and in some cases, it even helps me think a little more clearly too. And while I am working out, I feel terrific as usual, lifting the 10kg dumbbells with much more ease than usual, hissing and wincing as my biceps positively burn. Alas, as soon as I'm done and lying in the bath, my head feels restless again, that vampire playing on my mind heavily. Cue a very big, pissed off sigh right here.  

Four weeks and two days, that's all I have left now until he'll leave and hopefully, I'll never see him again. Even though when Ahmed voiced that to me recently and I didn't like it, I now think it's going to be the best thing, going forward. I don't like how far inside my head he's got, that he feels the anger I've kept within me at what I found with my mother, her last words to me. He's on the verge of discovering it, and I don't want anyone to. That is my burden alone.

When Monday arrives, despite myself and all the feelings of hatred I have for my mother, I do allow myself a little cry. I selfishly cry more for myself than her, pathetic as I am that still, even at twenty-eight years old, I cannot quite get over having a mom who was truly the furthest thing from it. I only have one nice memory of her, just one.  

I remember running out into the garden to find her when I was about three years old, and her shouting 'don't look, baby girl, mama has a surprise!' to me, so I stood and put my hands over my eyes and I didn't peek until she came and picked me up to put me down on the new swing she'd made for me out of a bit of old timber and some rope. She sat me on it and then pulled the rope back with her and let me go, watching me sail through the air, pushing me gently as she laughed. She had such a lovely laugh, back when she was happy. 'Weeee! Look at little Edie fly!' I’m there in my mind, with the sunshine on my face, my mom’s laughter behind me, and a sense of all being serene. She started beating me not long after that, her drinking escalating to cope with the state of her marriage.

I think she resented me because I wasn't the child of the man she'd married, and when he realised that for himself, he began to beat her, the vicious cycle that led to her thus taking it all out on me. She should have taken it out on herself for going against her marriage vows and not forsaking all others as she'd promised. When I was three, I must've started really looking like the guy who was my father, because I don't remember being hit before then. That is what must've sparked it. My earliest memories are the juxtapose of my mother pushing me on that little makeshift swing she'd made, and then of her pushing me into a closet where she locked me away for five hours because I was annoying her, apparently. Deciding not to spend a minute longer feeling sorry for myself, I think of how much worse it could have been.

I could have been one of these poor kids who were sexually defiled by their parents, I could have been an orphan, or I could have been born a hundred years ago when the disaster broke and lost my entire family and even my own life to the lethal D11X virus that claimed the lives of so many. As it stands, I have a good job that pays well, lovely friends and a home of my own. Things could be so much worse. I must be thankful for what I have, the life I made for myself rather than wishing the one I left behind could have been different. Even though I refuse to feel sorry for myself, the significance of the date still continues to linger in my mind for the rest of the day, and thus is still with me when I walk into my chamber at 9pm to begin work.

"What's wrong, Sugar Ray?" the vampire asks quietly, literally as soon as I enter. I don't reply. "Who's upset you? C'mon, tell me, I can feel it in waves." Sugar Ray; he's been calling me that since last Wednesday, when I beat the shit out of the guy who had a taste for misogyny.

"No one," I mutter blankly before taking the lump hammer and deciding to smack the shit out of him with it.

"I hate to sound like a broken record, but I know you're lying. Whoever it is, I hope you gave them hell for it. The woman with the red hair, per chance?" He groans in pain when the silver hammer in my hand connects with his stomach.

"Again, I ask. Why do you even care?" Walking around to his back, I aim a welt right between the shoulder blades. He actually huffs a long sigh before he answers.

"Alright, I might as well be straight with you. Trying to mentally fuck with you doesn't work any longer, much to my annoyance, and I don't really want to either, because I've come to realise something. I actually respect you, and that's the honest truth. Also, my strength is getting weaker by the day. I don’t have it in me to be a bastard, even if I wanted to," he admits, looking at me in perhaps the sincerest way he ever has since he's been here. I just snort and smack him straight in the face with the hammer, hearing him roar in pain as his jaw breaks.

"Sorry, but I don't believe you," I state, watching him as he shuts his eyes tightly, the noises he makes fading out into more of an annoyed growl in the back of his throat. He then looks back at me, but when he does, there's no hatred in his eyes.

"It's true. I hate you when you hurt me, that much is true and perfectly understandable, but otherwise, I respect your tenacity and somehow, you've begun to grow on me a little, despite all that. I don't think I'm alone in thinking that either. I think I've grown on you as well, not that you want to admit it," he puts to me, after about ten minutes of silence while his jaw heals up again.

"You're deluded and blood weak," I reply, beating him right across one of the well-defined hips that I once complimented.

"I was fed half an hour before you arrived. Yes, I am blood weak, but much less so right now.”

"So, say I believed you, what'd be the point in that?" I ask, hardly believing I've got myself so tied up with him thus far, with a detainee. I should know better.

"Nothing, I just want you to know. Now, be true with me and tell me what I can feel. I have an effect on you just as much as you do on me." Rolling my eyes, my response is to simply whack him with the hammer again. It’s about to become a very long night.

Angel's POV

"I don't see why I should dignify you with an answer to that," Edie murmurs, after I've asked her to just come out and admit it. I'm too fucking tired for mind games, and I don't have the inkling to play them any longer. I mean it with tremendous honesty when I say I respect her, because I do. 'Exceptional humans are worthy of our attentions and interest more so than the rest' I remember Ursula once telling me. Edie is pretty exceptional, I must admit. Even though I freely admit that I tend to favour feisty women, everything about Edie is nothing I've ever been interested in before in a woman. I've never been invested in human women as a vampire beyond just sex either, and even though I'm still not one hundred percent swayed, there's something there about Edie that goes beyond that. It's like it calls to me.  

I think the reason I can't be fully swayed is because I can't make her submit to me, and I hate that about as much as I like it. She isn't a pushover, which is something that appeals greatly to vampires as much as it annoys us. We're hardened and strong because we're dead, and if we associate with humans at all, then they're not weak. We cannot stand the weak. Except for a good fear feeding, that’s kinda fun. I can feel a tiny shard of weakness within her, but I don’t find off putting, merely curious as to know why it’s there. I've been concentrating hard on her emotions of late, and I realise that it's the anger and hatred she holds within that encapsulates that weak spot.

"Because you’re hiding from it, and you shouldn’t. I know you like to cut yourself off from things you don't want to discuss. I did the same when I was a human, I blocked things out that I really should have dealt with. I can tell you're doing the same now, and you do the same every day over the woman with the red hair. In concentrating like I have been, I've seen her face again. She was really angry at you, wasn't she?” I receive a painful blow to the opposite hip for my words.

“It’s moot; there's nothing to deal with," she mutters in reply absently, trying her best to ignore me. The anger though, it's bubbling up in a way it never has before.

"Yes, there is. I think you'll feel better for admitting it, as well as the fact I interest you, that I have an effect on you. Just say it, Edie," I prompt, knowing I'm wearing her down. I just want to hear her say it. I know I said I'm through with mind games, but this isn't one. This is me being eaten alive by my own curiosity over what makes her how she is.

"Okay, you interest me. Not sexually, even though yeah, you are attractive. I wouldn't go there, though. Are you happy now?" she exclaims, practically biting each word as it leaves her mouth.

"No. Tell me about the woman with the red hair. Why does she make you so pissed off?" I ask, for what feels like the hundredth time. I'll ask her another hundred times, too, until I know the answer. I want to know what fuels such rage, and after she asks me again why it's so important, and I give her the same answer, it feels like we're going around in circles. I wouldn't usually entertain this, but curiosity has got the better of me. She still doesn't answer me when I ask again, and after I've recovered from a silver sprayed throat, I decide a wild guess is in order, to see how she reacts.

"Is she your mom?" Immediately, her eyes meet mine only to look away quickly. She gave herself away there completely, even if I hadn't heard her heart suddenly jump in her chest and felt a slight panicked wave go through her, I'd still know the red-haired woman is her mother.

"Was," she whispers, moving around behind me before spraying the entire surface of my back with the liquid silver. Imagine someone just set fire to your skin. That's what it feels like.

"She's dead?" I ask, spitting a mouthful of blood out onto the floor. My back hurts so much, I just bit both fangs into my lip to prevent myself from screaming.

"Yep.” This is all she answers me with, before coming round and giving the front half of me the same treatment as my back, rendering me unable to talk any longer, I'm in such agony. I feel relieved when I hear the voice of the woman called Aileen crackling from the walkie-talkie on Edie's belt.

“Buba, we've had time called up here, leave him be for an hour before continuing. Stay down there though, to watch how he heals.”

"Copy that, Aileen." Edie replies a little redundantly into the device, before affixing it to her belt as she walks back to her table. She sits on it in her usual cross-legged fashion, taking a cigarette from the pocket of the little grey denim waistcoat she has on and lighting up.

So, I now know who the woman with the red hair is, but what I don't know why she makes Edie so angry. I know the anger and the weak spot over her she holds within are not sadness over her death, I feel no mourning within her. What I do feel, though, concentrating hard on her emotions rather than healing, is her desperation to keep something hidden. Whatever that something is, it festers away inside of her without ever letting up. In fact, I'd go so far as to say whatever it is, it poisons her.

"What did she do that made you hate her so much before she died?" I question, in more of a croaky rasp than anything. My throat hasn't fully healed yet, of course.

"You say you respect me, and yet you're still picking away at something you know I obviously don't want to talk about. That isn't respectful, is it? That's trying to keep yourself amused at something that's very painful for me to deal with," she puts to me, exhaling smoke through her nose as she looks down at the floor and away from my gaze. She's beginning to cave, I can feel it.

"What did she do to you, Edie? What did she do to cause you the kind of pain you’re hiding from everyone, a painful secret you've never told anyone, and something you use to fuel your anger toward every single detainee who walks through the door of this chamber? It festers away within you, and it makes you unhappy. It'd be better if you got it off your chest, you know," I tell her, watching her frowning at me.

"It's none of your damn business! Keep your nose out of my fucking life, Angel!" she fumes in reply, her voice actually quivering a little.

"It is if I can help you, and I think I can. Just tell me, you know you'll feel better for it. If you don't, then I'll just get it out of you by some other means.”

I’m eyed with incredulity for that. "You're unbelievable, I mean seriously, you're absolutely unbelievable. Fucking relentless.”

"You really want to trust me, don't you? You can, you know. I don't fuck with or fuck over people I respect. You've never let yourself fully trust because of her, haven't you? Whatever she did, it's stuck in your head that trusting people only ends up in you getting hurt. Just because she fucked you over, and I guess that she did, well it doesn't mean everyone else is going to. That's no way to live, Edie.” I can feel it, that wall she has inside starting to fall down slowly, brick by brick. I then tune my senses in on her blood, and concentrate hard. Her facade is slipping, the big mental block she's put up as I said is crumbling, and without her wanting me to, I see the flashes of anger within her, and I witness it. I really see. Using every last bit of my strength, I focus, and see the memories Edie doesn't want me to.

I see a vision of a staircase, like I'm seeing the memory through Edie's eyes as she's dragged up it by her wrist, crying and screaming before she’s hurled to the floor and kicked over and over in her stomach by her mother at the top, before being thrown into a closet and locked there. I then see her mother sitting swigging from a bottle of something alcoholic, that bottle then leaving her hand and shattering above Edie's head while she screams 'get the fuck out of here, you little shit, before I beat your ass black and blue again!'  

I see nothing more after that, opening my eyes again to look at Edie and see her concentrating hard, trying to make her mind go blank. This may surprise you, but I actually feel sympathy towards her. No child deserves to be beaten and locked up by the one person who is supposed to love and protect them always. I had a fucking wonderful mother, who was gentle and kind with my brother and I, who loved and nurtured us. I have another now in Ursula, too, who loves me just as much as my birth mom did.  

"She was more interested in the drink than you, wasn't she? Don't be sad over her, Edie. Don't let an alcoholic, abusive joke of a mother who's now dead cause you pain. It was her problem she was an alcoholic, not yours," I tell her, watching her looking at me curiously as her emotions within continue to churn. This is why she's so strong, because she's had to be in order to get over what her mother inflicted upon her. She's no little weakling of a human who let this get the better of her, but yet still I know that I haven’t uncovered the full story. There's something else there.

"I'm not sad over that. She did what she did because she was just that, an abusive, alcoholic joke. I came to terms with that a long time ago," she states, her forehead creasing with a frown.  

"There's something about what happened to you that you haven't come to terms with though, that thing that's festering away inside of you, that you need to tell someone, but don't want to. Why don't you want to? Are you afraid people will think you're weak? Are you afraid of burdening them? What?" I press, determined to get an answer.

"Again, if you truly respected me, you'd leave this alone. This, this is a big wound to me, one I let heal over a long time ago. I don't pick the scab, but you're doing just that. Please, just leave it. If you really do respect me, you will," she implores, while I feel waves of sadness washing through her.  

"It healed without you getting the poison out, though. And now that poison runs through you, whatever it is extra to what I now know over what your piece of shit mother did to you, whatever extra sadness she made you feel.” She hears me, but doesn't reply, and I find myself speaking to nothing but stony silence after a while, but on I continue with my interrogation. Well, I do until Edie pulls her walkie-talkie from her belt.

"Aileen, I need someone to cover watching the vampire. I don't feel well, I have to step out for a little bit," she says into the device.

"I'll send Max down, hon. He's here with me right now having a coffee." I hear the control room manager reply.

"Are you okay?" I ask, once she's reattached the walkie-talkie to her belt.

"Thanks to you, no I'm not. There you go, there's me admitting some weakness to you. Just what you were fucking after," she spits at me with a frown.

"That's not what I was after at all, don't think that. All I want to know is what it is inside of you that makes you so strong, and what you try so hard to hide." I reply. She just shakes her head before walking to the door. I hear her leave, the one named Max asking if she’s alright before she moves away and he comes in, walking over to the table, staring at me intently when he arrives to lean against it. While he does that and Edie goes up to the roof (I can feel that's where she's heading) I switch myself off and rest. I'll need it, because I have another four hours tonight in her company and in that time, I’m determined to find out her secret.

[meganwasbored]

The Dragon Prince Thoughts Season 3 Episodes 3 and 4

Episode 3

-I’m sorry I know what Rayla’s parents did is probably a huge deal in Xadia but she had the audacity to say that she wishes her parents were dead when the boys are literally orphans now

-woah Callum that’s cultural appropriation cancelled

-“have you had a change of heart”

“No, but there’s something I want to tell you that might change your heart”

You see to me this came off as a burn but then you remember it’s Ezran and he’s probably being sincere

-Ezran being half Prince Kasef’s height is funny but also Kasef is a jerk and I want him to either go home or die because I can’t stand his attitude anymore

-who’s this dude and what’s he up to

-cuties

-I was literally smiling and giggling at my phone like a 6th grade girl because of how cute that scene was but now it’s ruined because apparently she’s a ghost???

-“Soren could’ve died!”

“That doesn’t matter!”

I’d say what I think of you but as a Christian woman I don’t even feel comfortable typing the words that are in my head right now

-we’re gonna ask Runaan? Is he not the one that is inside a coin as we speak?

-well that was sad, but I saw it coming

-we already knew Amaya had guts but dangggg

-also the fire elf lady almost looked like she felt bad that the queen is going to kill Amaya

-“he’s gone because you abandoned them” she’s a CHILD what the heck was she supposed to do that the other assassins couldn’t do

-“Claudia, did you really think I would ask him to do such a thing? Surely you know your brother is… easily confused” it’s the gaslighting for me

-he’ll really take any opportunity to insult Soren that he can get

-I swear if one more person makes Soren feel stupid

-oh this dude again

-he addressed Viren with respect and called him High Mage so obviously he’s in on all this

-“my heart goes out with this one”

“I promise I will return your heart to you”

imagine your otp

-if the literal fire elves can’t look at the light how is she supposed to

-we’re just gonna ignore the fact that it is humanly impossible for her to still be able to see at all ever again after that

-runaan’s flower isn’t all the way down which means they have to be freeing him from the coin eventually, I’m holding them to that

Episode 4

-bruh it literally just started and I already had to watch the pretty message bird die (ik it’s not actually alive but it screeched in pain when it was hit and that hurt me)

-big feelings time, that’s freaking adorable but also I’d rather die than unload my thoughts on someone else that’s what tumblr is for

-Zym: “uh oh mom and dad are fighting”

Look at his FACE

-bro literally what’s stopping you from going to war on Xadia without Katolis he never tried to stop you he just said that Katolis would not be a part of it you have three armies why would you waste valuable time and resources fighting with us

-also what does that have to do with Viren

-WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK

-there isn’t any connection I just wanted to point out that Nyx is the ancient goddess and personification of night in Greek mythology

-it’s giving “hey little girl I’m your mom’s friend just get in this car and I’ll take you to her *wink wink*”

-obviously we don’t want people to die but just as many, probably more, people will die if we do what the Prince Kasef wants but then it will be doing something that we don’t even believe in, he brought other armies into your kingdom without permission and they all want to attack you right now why can’t we just attack them now?

-I just reread that and realized it makes no sense but it’s 1 am and I can’t think of another way to word it so good luck ig

-just want to acknowledge how pretty this giant giraffe/camel is

-this poor kid is going through the biggest ethical dilemma of his life because one man with the attitude of a toddler didn’t like being told no

-literally who even is this dude and what game is he playing

-I’m probably supposed to remember what the boomerang has to do with this but I’m drawing a blank

-why can’t we just let Bait be happy

-everything here is just so pretty all the time

-#1 rayllum shipper at the moment

-so like he’s still trapped in the mirror…but not? Even if this this is like a ghost of his body and the real one is still in the mirror, if his brain or soul or whatever you want to call it can go outside of the mirror, is he really trapped at all?

-now the question is, is she making this face because she thinks they’re cute, or because she’s about to do something shifty and is glad that they’re leaving

(edit: that was sarcasm but i just realized that that isn’t clear at all over text, obviously i know she’s up to something)

-y’all stop being so ominous and tell me what you’re going to do

-UHHHHHHHH

-WHAT THE HECK DID HE DO

-ARE THEY REALLY PUTTING A CHILD IN JAIL BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT PEOPLE TO DIE

-VIREN IS JUST MAGICALLY NOT GUILTY NOW???

-IM SLOW I ACTUALLY DONT GET IT WHY ARE THEY PUTTING HIM IN JAIL

-OH GREAT NOW IM ABOUT TO GET A RAYLLUM SCENE BUT I CANT EVEN ENJOY IT BECAUSE EZRAN IS IN FREAKING PRISON FOR NO REASON???

-he really just went on a whole rant to a girl about how incredible she is and got surprised when she kissed him

-Callum you’re a freaking idiot

-you see I should be giggling at my phone like a 6th grade girl again rn but there’ll be time for that later because Ezran is in JAIL for NO REASON

-Nyx kidnapped Zym didn’t she, I feel like she’s someone who would do that

-WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME

[electromignion]

Bridgewater doodles I did at uni compilation! (+ lil headcanons about Jeremy Bradshaw having a tattoo and when he is having a cold)

As some of y’all might know I’m back at uni so I don’t have time for big drawings but I tend to doodle a lot in class! So here are a few Jeremy, Vipin and Olivia doodles! (So sorry for the checkered paper and the lessons notes but it’s my lessons 😭) (and yes this is only what was doodled this week as I started on Monday dkdjdjjdjd, I think every week I’ll do a compilation post as I post them daily on Twitter 😭)

Putting the close ups with the headcanons after the read more 🫶

I like to think that when Jeremy has a cold he comes to class with a thick cardigan 😭🫶 He would also have a big cup of hot tea with honey in it, yes, the mug would be even bigger than the usual ones his students are used to see him with, and he would only put the friendship pin Vipin gave to him on that cardigan 🥺🥺

(The t-shirt is a reference to the drawing Fox Mulder gets in “the Jersey Devil” in the X-Files)

One of my recent biggest headcanons is that during his teen rebellious phase (yes, the same one as in my young him fanart), Jeremy Bradshaw did a stick and poke tattoo himself (don’t do that) and he still has it although it’s quite faded, of course nobody knows and it’s quite a secret, as it’s a rather small sized simple triangle on his thigh he never really got any comment on it.

The triangle is the same as the Bridgewater triangle because it was a way for his young self to tell himself that he would never forget his dad and that in a way, Thomas Bradshaw would always stay here with him no matter what especially when his mom “replaces” Thomas with her boyfriend. Whom isn’t liked at all by Jeremy at the time and still isn’t liked nowadays anyways 😭

I can totally imagine Vipin and Jeremy doing some research at Jeremy’s place as his place would be much comfier if they have to look through books and everything for a long time and Vipin ends up staying cuz it’s late, Jeremy comes wearing shorts at some point:

“Wait you have a tattoo, Jeremy?”

“That’s a long story, Vipin”

And then Vipin would be extremely curious about it but would never question it again to respect Jeremy’s boundaries until the moment he would tell Vipin himself, and Vip would feel extremely honoured of that trust.

I just wanted to give Jeremy a just out of the shower vibe here 😭

Totally a ref to the X-Files to the episode “Quagmire”! I already headcanon Jeremy has having a Big Blue mug so I thought why not continuing with that? Its irl equivalent is Nessie! (So you know!)

And here’s a close up of the others 🫶

I’m quite proud of the one where he has his brown corduroy jacket and his blue shirt because I never draw him with patterns on his shirt and I love patterns on him! I think it suits him well! (Although I don’t think he often wears patterns)

And also thank you for bearing with me as I show my doodles as it’s really quick class doodles and I have absolutely no way to look at ref pics so it’s all from memory only 😭

[raptortits]

I did it! I finally finished the first chapter of my trans Morro fic! This is basically my interpretation of Morro's backstory from his POV mixed with my trans headcanon. So here you go!

-----

How I Died Twice

Chapter 1 - every story has a beginning

Not all stories with bad endings start on a dark and stormy night. Some, like mine, start in the middle of the day. I was maybe 9 years old at the time. The sun shined bright outside. It was too bright. I sat in my class next to the window in the back row. The teacher was giving a lesson but I wasn't paying attention. All I could think about was how I didn't want to go outside for recess. I hated how hot it was out that day.

       Speaking of recess, that's when the bell rang for everyone to make their way outside. I begrudgingly headed outside with the rest of my class. I went to sit under my favorite tree and draw like I did everyday. That day in particular, I was drawing a character I came up with, when this kid who always made fun of me walked over to me.

       "Hey Myra, why do you always act like a boy? No one will ever wanna be with you if you keep dressing like that, you know," He said condescendingly. Myra… I still hate that name. I wasn't always a boy, you know. I was born female, and I was made fun of for not acting like it (whatever that meant). 

       "Leave me alone, please." Was all I could manage to reply with. I hated being a girl. 

       He just kicked me in the side and walked away. I heard him mutter something about me being pathetic. I got angry. Suddenly, the biggest gust of wind I had ever seen blew him to the ground and he scraped his knee. He started crying like a baby. It was pretty funny. I just laughed and went back to drawing.

       When I was walking from school that night, I was nervous to get home. I always was. My mother had never loved me. I basically took care of myself. I would clean the whole house and still get yelled at. All she would ever do is sit on the couch and get drunk while I did everything. Still, I went back everyday, wishing that someday things would change. However, they never would. People don't change.

    I walked for miles. It was raining. I hated the rain. Well, I didn't hate the rain, just being in it. It was really windy, but that didn't bother me. The wind was nice. I trudged on to the house that couldn't be considered a home. 

           I entered the house and my mother wasn't home, which was amazing. I had time to clean before she got home. Maybe today will be okay after all. 

           I changed out of my school uniform and went to the kitchen to work. The dishes were piled high in the sink and everything was dusty. I thought I might as well get started with the dishes. I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

           The dishes took about a long time but I eventually got them done and moved on to dusting off the counters and the table. I started wondering where my mom was. Usually she would be home by now. Then I realized that she probably just went to the bar and carried on with my cleaning. 

           The nights she went to the bar were the best. She usually didn't come home until after I went to bed, which meant I got the house to myself. I could clean without being interrupted or being told to "quiet the fuck down". Needless to say, I liked the days she went to the bar.

          I finished cleaning the entire house about an hour before I had to go to bed. I decided to draw in my room until bedtime. 

           About a half hour later, I heard a knock at the door. I was hesitant to open it, but I was the only one home, so I had to. It was the police. 

           There was one female officer and one male officer. "Hello. Are you Myra?" The woman asked gently. I nodded my head. "Can I come in? It's about your mother." I nodded my head again and stepped aside so they could come in. 

           They both sat on the couch. I sat next to them with my legs crossed, anticipating what they were going to say. 

           "I'm going to put this as gently as possible. Your mother had an accident at the bar and is now at the hospital. It could be a while before she gets out," the woman says. I wasn't surprised. It was only a matter of time until something happened. She continued, "We are going to bring you to the hospital to see her. Is that okay with you?" 

           I sighed. "At least let me switch the laundry over to the dryer. I don't want the clothes to get mildewy."

          They looked surprised but let me. I quickly switched the laundry over and grabbed my sketchbook. 

           Soon enough, I was sitting in the back of a police car on my way to the Ninjago City hospital. I didn't want to go, really, but I felt like I had to. She was my mom, even if she didn't always act like it. 

           When we arrived, I was nervous. I dreaded seeing her. I just knew she was going to yell. However, when I got to her room, it was the opposite. She was quiet and fidgety. When I sat down she just glanced at me before quickly looking away. 

           After a few minutes, she spoke. "I'm sorry for everything." She looked like she was holding back tears. She didn't say anything else. She just handed me a necklace and smiled bittersweetly. 

           We sat there in silence for hours. I drew while we sat. Eventually she fell asleep. I stayed the night at the hospital, and skipped school the next day. Mom didn't talk to me the entire time. She wouldn't even look at me. She slept a lot throughout the day and through the next night. 

           On the third day, the doctor came into the room with a smile. "Good news. We found a liver donor. We have scheduled you for surgery this afternoon," The doctor told my mother. We were both excited. My mother could get off of the alcohol and we could be a normal family, or so I had thought. 

           My mother's heart had failed in the surgery. They tried to bring her back, but they couldn't. The last time I saw her, she was on a ventilator. I couldn't bring myself to see her. I put on the necklace she gave me. Before, it had just sat in my pocket.

           I walked out of the hospital. I felt I was on autopilot. I walked for miles. Before I knew it, I was in the middle of nowhere, but still I walked further. I walked into the forest. I slept up against a tree that night. I couldn't go back home. Not now.

[ducknotinarow]

[For the AU we are discussing on Discord you know the one the one with the baby ;3;]

Big Mama hummed as she stepped into her office, hand behind her back as she held a gift, a playful smile appearing on her mouth. She can hear it, the sound of little feet and stifled laughter, but there was no little turtle for her to see. Looks like her baby boy was hiding,

"Raaaaaph," She calls out his name, Big Mama walking further into her office, "Raphael, where are you?"

She keeps her smile, idly looking around, joining in with this little game of hide and seek that had begun,

"Come on out baby boy, I have a gift for youuu," She's sure that might coax him out of his hiding spot, "Who am I going to give this teddy too if I can't find my lil' Raphael~"

| Muse interaction

Raph had pretty much free reign of the building being that the owner was his mother. Meaning when it came to hide and seek he had the best places to hide.Her office! He even had a copy of the key to it, smiling proudly as he unlocked the door and quickly looked around. Most who came in this room dreaded it they shook from the moment they stepped into it. Not Raph though, of course not he's been in her all the time sometimes listening to his mom's business stuff. Not that he followed a lot of it. It was boring. But he did love it when he got his mom all to himself because it meant they got to play. Like right now as he scanned around the room deep in thought about where he was going to hide. Quick to run from the door as he dashes off when he is sure he can hear her coming this way now. Shuffling across the floor as he lowly laughs to himself. Finding himself under her desk, hand over his mouth so it be harder to hear him. Yet he kept giggling anyway. She'd clearly never find him now.

"Raaaaaph,"

Not today mom he thinks to himself as he keeps in his place, usually quick to run the moment his mother calls for him. He was going to be sneaky today, like an ahh oh like a ninja she'll never find him clearly. He settled into his place beneath her desk feeling just so confident in his hiding abilities.

"Raphael, where are you?"

"You'll never find me!" He goes on to answer, not clocking into the fact that would give him away but she seemed to play along anyway. Smilignas he tucked his legs in against his plastron he was doing so good at hiding she'll never catch him. But Big Mama? oh she knew the right words to draw her son out from hiding, "Come on out baby boy, I have a gift for youuu,"

Oh! A gift? A gift for Raph? the temptation was already far too strong as it was as he uncurled from the ball he was in slowly moving to his hands and knees as he crawled just a little out from under her desk so he could look around trying to see if she did in fact have a gift for him. When he saw it in her hands a big teddy bear. His eyes grew wide looking at the plush toy how could he resist he loved teddy bears the most of all. And this one was big! Huge the biggest bear she ever got him maybe he'd have to check, bitting on his bottom beak trying to keep to his hiding spot. Big Mama was trying to lure him out, but. She has a bear for him! This was torture for the little turtle.

"Who am I going to give this teddy too if I can't find my lil' Raphael~"

The quickest he had ever moved Raph was on his feet and booking it her way arms stretched out wide. He couldn't risk the bear being given to anyone else. As if Big Mama would give something clearly meant for him to anyone else. "Wait wait I'm here see! See!" He goes on to say in a rush and hurry slightly jumping even in case she somehow missed him. Slowly he stopped though and realized what he did

Giving a small little stomp of his foot as he went and crossed his arms over his plastron. Beak pouted out firmly to express his disappointment right now. "Aw Ma' you tricked me, again." he was quick to throw in as he quirked his beak a little. Eyes drifting to the bear though. "Is the bear for me though?" he asks eyeing it still ad he chews over the trick humming in his own little thoughts. Well, there was nothing wrong with having been tricked out of his hiding spot right? Not if it meant he could be getting a teddy? yes, he had his priorities set clearly. Moving over to grab his mother's leg happily nuzzling his cheek to her "It's okay though you win Mama!" he goes on to say before lifting his head and pleading to her from a look alone as eyes widen "sooo does that mean I can keep the bear? I already have a name for them too!"

[digdugg]

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S IN THAT MEME, BUT I NEED MAX'S LETTER TO STEVE

𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.aka me ripping out Kate’s feels. 🙃

Dear Steve,

I had a hard time writing this letter because I kept drawing a blank on what to say. We only really hang out in groups aside from a couple of instances, and as strange as I felt writing this, I also figured it was only right.

I’ll never forget the day at the Byers’ house when Billy came looking for me and Lucas. You might not have won the fight but you went out of our way to keep us safe and I can never thank you enough for that. Truly.

Sometimes I wish Mike wouldn’t give you such a hard time. I get you used to date his sister and then you guys broke up and it’s awkward, but I wish he’d give you a chance. At least to see you’re not half bad.

Also that day when everyone bailed on movie night because of other responsibilities or arrangements or some other third reason, it just meant so much that you didn’t mind me coming over anyway, even if it was just two of us. I felt so weird going to your house alone but you made me feel comfortable. At home.

When Billy died in that horrific accident? I don’t know what to call it. It was...it was a slaughter. He was slaughtered right in front of me and I couldn’t do anything except yell his name.

You were the biggest help, okay? You always saw me in the video store, just idly browsing and listening to music and you always stopped at least once to check up on me. You never stopped looking out for me, Steve, and I’ll always remember that.

The night I stayed over and all those times you held me close while I got your expensive clothes all wet with my tears and you didn’t mind in the slightest, you just wanted to be there.

I don’t normally care for scents people wear, especially if they’re really strong. You know about all the times I bitched about my mom’s perfume and how she’d put too much on when she was with Neil. God I hated that stuff. Or the gross cologne Billy used to wear.  At this point, I think it’s just called sweat.

And ugh, don’t get me started on what Neil wore. But Farrah Fawcett spray? (yeah, Dustin blurted it out one day. Don’t kill him) I always thought it smelled okay, nice even.

But after all the time I spent with you and being consoled by you, 

I honestly can’t think of a more comforting smell.

Take care and keep looking out for the others ( especially Dustin. He pokes his nose into everything, I swear.)

You’re the brother I always wanted. I lost one but gained another. I’m not good at closing letters so I’ll leave it here.

Max.