#my motivation is such a fragile fucking thing istg

[mettywiththenotes]

I've gotten to the stage where I've been thinking drawing would be so much easier than writing

Which... is kinda dumb of me to think. Because I know art isn't easier, and I know I don't have the motivation nor the patience to keep practicing, but at least it would mean the images in my head are put down onto paper without having to think of sentences that go together and worry if they sound good or make sense

[annarendellsa]

my heathers headcanons

it's the way i see them and draw them, you don't have to agree! this is based on both the musical and the movie

CW: mention of suic*de and e*ting disorders (bulimia) as well as various mental illnesses

Heather Duke

• heather duke is aromantic and yes its because she wears green, have you seen her socks in the off broadway musical? /hj

• more seriously, she IS aromantic but it took some time for her to figure out. she is allo but she doesn't label her sexuality, and she was always confused and frustrated to experience sexual attraction but never romantic attraction; she had a hard time accepting this part of herself.

• post heathers: maybe she discovers about non binary identities and asks her girlfriends to test out they/them pronouns on her? idk? aro-agender duke?

• she also struggles with empathy as she is naturally apathic

• and she's putting this image of a cold mean girl because she believes she can only be that given she's aro and ND

• post musical: she had no idea mcnamara actually tried to commit suic*de and when veronica tells her she breaks down in tears and spend a few days writing an apology letter to mcnamara

• post musical: mcnamara helps her to develop her compassion, knowing it's not her fault she's incapable of empathy. she didn't have to forgive her, but they did, and it really motivates duke to become a better person and be as nice as her

• post musical: she sees a doctor! she eventually recovers from her bulimia. veronica and mac are 100% supportive of her recovery, and very proud

• she gets bigger as part of her recovery and learns to embrace it

• duke is very pale with really dark and thick hair and eyebrows, soft features and quite a lot of body hair

• you know the bootleg where duke has blonde hair? when she's on the tv she speaks german and i vibe with german duke now

• duke Cannot say fuck and if someone is prude/innocent/idk it's her. the why are you pulling my dick was just to fluster veronica i think

Heather McNamara

• they use she/they pronouns!! just because. she still identifies as a girl though

• mac is autistic of course, it's like semi canon in the musical

• since she's very tall (movie) she stims while standing like being on the tip of her toes or rocking back and forth and the others can be quite annoyed because she moves a lot but they never snap at her

• post musical: veronica finds her stimming endearing and they know it's safe to stim around her, especially since veronica stims herself

• post musical: mac hums as a stim too and you can often find macnamawyer snuggling on the floor while humming in harmonies together

• she used to mask a LOT and it played a big part in her depression. she knows they had to stop themselves from stimming when she was a heather, she had been the weird kid in middle school but now that chandler took her under her wing, she has to pretend to be NT in order to stay in the lifeboat (😭)

• she's a lesbian!! of course she is

• she knows it since she is in middle school and has been """gal pals"""" with chandler since them but she still struggles with it she has comphet yk, but still less than chandler

• chanamara definitely practiced kissing together "to be ready when we'll have to kiss boys" 👀👀👀

• chandler always had a soft spot for mac and tried to hide it by being cruel to duke

• post musical: it took mac some time to understand that duke had nothing against her personally. she was chill with them until chandler died. from that moment she had to prove herself as the new queen bee and mac was a collateral victim

• duke definetely gave her trauma though and mac is in the process of trusting her again

• mac themselves is not a cinnamon roll just yet and she still has to make up for what they've done to others

• mcnamara has nicknames like mcNcheese or macaroni (veronica came up with those)

• they're also a vegetarian and she loves yellow food

• like she ever only eats yellow food actually (autistic thing). that girl is deficient! part of why she looks that fragile and thin

• also i see mcnamara as mixed race with golden/light brown skin and they have this type of curly curly hair but she straightens it all the time so it's only just wavy (once again, to blend in with the heathers)

• her natural hair colour is actually a dark strawberry blonde? her dad is irish and he's a redhead that's why (stole this from @cam-eats-candles hehe) but she dyes it so it's lighter

• post musical: she starts wearing her natural hair!! and goes with her mom to the afro hairdresser to start to get her curls done right (cornrows mac!!)

• their parents divorced (movie) and it's for the best. mac has daddy issues and only goes to her dad to get cute jewellery for their girlfriends 💖 (he doesn't just sell engagement rings. a lot of regular expensive rings, really)

• she's not a baby, she's not weak nor completely innocent and pure!! the girl is a head cheerleader, she's strong and flexible as hell.

Heather Chandler

• heather chandler is Also a lesbian BUT she is on the ace spectrum like demisexual? so yeah she's double disgusted when she "sleeps" with men

• as a queen bee she's also convinced that the only way to exist is through male validation :(

• chandler is taller than duke and veronica but shorter than mac

• chandler's skin is like rosy and it freckles very easily. i see her with the same cloudylike hair she has in the movie, dark blonde, with the red scrunchie only holding back some of her hair

• she is Buff and is genuinely into sports (lesbian jock like regina george)

• she has a sharp hourglass shape her shoulders are broad and her legs long and strong. she could lift veronica against a wall easily. and she did

Veronica Sawyer

• ADHD!! she's been diagnosed for a while but only became medicated post musical

• bisexual!! so bisexual!! without a preference. she's always been open and proud about it and her parents are supportive

• for me veronica is brown, with thick and dark hair and dark brown eyes, midsize, average height

Martha Dunnstock

• that's canon i know, but she's fat, and not the socially acceptable-hourglass kind of fat. big arms! big tummy! double chin! (i see fanart of her just being chubby quite often and it's ANNOYING like that's a big part of her character)

• she's perfectly healthy like this as are many fat people :))

• i also like the hc that her attempt at sewer slide made her permanently disabled and that she keeps using a wheelchair! because it happens, it's important to show it, and it gives me a lot of ideas for cute kindergarten girlfriends prompts 💓💓

• of course realistically being fat AND physically disabled in the 80's was and is not an easy thing to go through but it's in my head so

• she's also a tiny bit taller than veronica

• i don't hate the outfit she wears in the off broadway show, but I like her west end outfit better!! it's a lot more 80's inspired and i totally see her in kidcore/clowncore etc, even if pastels are cool too

• in the current west end version, martha is played by a black woman and she looks amazing! however I've been drawing and imagining martha as east/south east asian, for no reason really?? also idk kinda rubs me the wrong way that in the more official versions of heathers it's always duke that is black, or martha? not the others? hmm

• i'm not comfortable with hcs that exclusively babyfy her or patronise her like a bunny rabbit just bc she's a fat outcast who likes unicorns!! she's not just cute and giggly! martha can and does swear and she Fucks, like mcnamara

• big round glasses + big nose + long brown hair

• taking inspiration from the princess bride line but she's a huge movie nerd. yes she loves happy endings but she also loves horror movies, as long as they have a happy ending

• she never gets a makeover omg y'all just hate people with glasses and a childish aesthetic istg

• she takes this aesthetic further though and

• post musical and high school: she doesn't just wear baggy clothes anymore as she only did that to prevent more bullying. she develops an unique style with a lot of pink and glitter and she's awesome

------

ok this is getting long ill probably do more!! tell me what you think <3

[hematomes]

you have to imagine the identity crisis i had when i got a post notif that just went "YOU DON'T LIKE SOUP???"

(very sad to hear people, in fact, do not like soup. but to those i say, Child. Only Once The Weight Of The Years Start To Weigh You Down Will You Be Enlightened; The Human Soul Is A Thing Fragile And Cold Like A Sculpture Of Ice. Soup Is The Remedy To The Soul's Self-inflicted Ailments)

anyways guess what. classes got canceled today so not only are those tests postponed, but i also have time to write that essay. i honestly believe your good vibes blessed my entire week

ok but h o w do you know my forehead looks smoochable hmm?🤨 do i have to check for cameras

omg xiao is an aries... tbh i just realized I've never looked up any of the character's charts which is pretty weird lol (but i mean. morax is pretty dom-able. not as much as xiao tho)

fake studying idjsjf what a mood. im glad you had fun yesterday it's good to hear you took the time to rest<3

i didn't get sick but i didn't get anything done anyways bc i felt Weird hfjsjf my arm hurts but otherwise im good✌🏽

hhh stop what if i fantasize about a romantic encounter with you at the grocery store, ced. what then.

also this time im really tempted to show you The Fit but im too nervous to dm you (plus i like our little letter-like situation) SO what if i sent an ask off anon and you could reply on this one (that's so fucking roundabout im sorry😭)

ZKDKZKZ 1st reason why i defend soup now is bc of you tbh 🙄🙄 no homo tho (full homo)

(ALSO DAMN THAT'S BEAUTIFUL... and also true, now istg nothing tastes as good as soup in the middle of fucking finals, gives me the warmth i need to not off myself)

WOOO WHAT GOOD FUCKING NEWS hope you took time to rest? my class today sure as hell wasn't canceled but i skipped bc i couldn't get out of bed im cool like that

i just know it in my heart and soul, don't even try me it's a gut feeling

TBH I WAS once motivated to try and hc characters' big three but i gave up essentially bc im too lazy (fair enough,ngl.)

ZKDKZ how's your arm rn? i can kiss it better <3 (ced stop being gay on main challenge)

then fantasize abt it and maybe one day the gods will grant our mutual wish duh

1st off this is adorable, once again very smoochable

then if you're too uncomfy/shy, you can send me links!!!! i received some pics that way so 👀 and if you want you send me one ask with the pic linked, then another to which i can respond, that way ill be the only one seeing The Fit 🙄 (wdym i wanna be privileged? smh)

[huenjin]

2020 year end greetings.

disclaimer: this is going to be very long ( ˶ ❛ ꁞ ❛ ˶ ), but that's how much gratitude i have and so much more of love.

2020. ah, this year was a very emotional journey for me and how i wish i could sing jessi's gucci all throughout. however, that was not the case. tumblr helped me run away from all those irl miseries. these people made me feel at home.

this skz writing blog has been existing from the last few days of september and it came to life when i was losing motivation to write on my main (which i closed down because stray kids made me like writing back again) and it's stayed since then. you guys have stayed since then. grateful, a one hundred times and more.

so, this is rue, getting sappy and so much more thankful for everything i have and recieved with this blog. this is rue, asking you to accompany me for a little more and to listen to the stories i have to share. the is rue with heart full of nothing but love for each one of you.

to each one of my mutuals, for whom i pray to the stars to shower you with nothing but fortune —

@sinisterlyhan ♡ eiko, best thing i ever did was hit you up. how are you always so calm? or at least that's the tone i have in my head when i read your texts. it's so pleasant to talk to you. ily. and let me get started on your writing — you've heard this from me like every day but ma'am, you make magic. you lace stars together to form such a beautiful constellation of a writing and i fall in love a little more. thank you for inspiring me to always do better!

the hyunsung demon!au (whew!) — 01. 02. 03.

this hyunjin bad boy!au

@mochinnie ♡ isa, how i wish you handled yourself with a little more care. you're so fragile and delicate and i just want to protect you ?? so much ??? you're precious and one of the most beautiful people i have met. your characterisation is just perfect and god, i wish i could once write headcanons like you do. thank you for being my friend and for fangirling to me and for loving me. it means the world. psst, ily.

this seungmin fic

querencia | hh

@sparklemin ♡ nara!!!! big brain nara! god i love how your asks make my whole day and how you bring up different minho agendas in my head. you have my whole heart and i'm in love with you bye

girlfriend | bcn

hidden confession | bcn

@bearseungmin ♡ dawnie babie thank you for being such an enthusiast all the time while talking. you're so cheerful and happy and thank you for being this nice <33

beat it to the door | bcn

could listen to you read the dictionary | lfl

@chogiout ♡ yah, kira! sometimes i want to whack the back of your head like i whack my sister's, okay? it's the same kinda sibling love with you. fuck, not ever going to let you leave me. after all, my parents taught me to take responsibility of the stuff i rid innocence of. (lmao, sorry, bitch ily!!)

memoir | jyh

this youth of craziness | csn

@mikoto-ica-fics ♡ mi, bb! thank you for being so supportive. istg, if it weren't for you reblogging that one fic of mine, my fics would have never seen light to this day. it's easy to get lost in the tags hehe. and then i happen to text you and omg, aren't you the nicest ever? i love your story ideas, the way you write, the way you interact with people and thank you for talking to me. you make me want to be better.

entangled | lmh, hjs

power grab | hjs

@toffee-hwa ♡ ana! anaaaa~ you're so enthusiastic and supportive and fuck, i looooove ranting and fangirling to you! and the minute i know you're watching the same kdrama as i am, i just go like wheeeeeee— HAN SEOJUN!!! lmao, but thank you so much for talking to me, for listening and for caring! my romanian queen, you pretty human, you're the best!

yet, pt.i

yet, pt.ii

@chandisiacs ♡ yah, pav! must i drag you back to tumblr from twt? must i? i miss you. i really do and i can't wait to have your arse back here. thank you for being such a lively person to talk and hang out with, eee! and not at how you succeeded nano! inspirational! thank you x

thread of all your legendary aus

starboy | bcn

@unsaidhj ♡ you're so soft. and god i love you? and your aesthetics. it's a thing, ma'am. i existed to see your aesthetics lmao. and then i text you and you're so kind omg. i could never hate you so please, ma'am, stop telling me that in panic? huihui, ily and i hope you stay healthy. place yourself first, bb.

knife under my pillow | hhj

scammer, scammed | bcn

@sleepylixie ♡ yo, neighbor! you reminded me how small the world can actual get! love love talking to you about irl stuff because you can understand how messed up it is! and you're so kind, ah!!

in umbra

passion's abyss | lmh

@dreamyhan ♡ one of the few people i see on my dash and go like — hazeeeeeeeeel! you're just so nice, god. like if cotton candy was a person, it would be you, alright? and then there's your writing ability that skyrocket off the roofs because it is that good. thank you for being so supportive and nice to me! x

next time | bcn

in his arms | hjs

@itsapapisongo ♡ boy, my main man, javi!! your work was once my most favorite thing to listen to. loved how the mall worked and everything. and then there's how supportive you are like omg. if only i could explain the courage you give me. it's infinite. you make me feel infinite. also, #hardhours, right?

george of the jungle

swimming fool

@kabira ♡ typing the url down was even more romantic, manx. don't ever change this. love how strong and bold you are. love your opinions and love your writings even more. you're one of those few people who write like they mean every word from their heartstrings. thank you for providing us with stories to tell for eons. x (psst, ily so much!)

backstreet driving | hhj (that's the first skz fic i read because it was from you and not because it was skz and aren't i glad?)

sic semper tyrannis | lty

@dalknow ♡ the only other person on tumblr that i text religiously on discord. i love talking to you, bb. love getting personal with you. love how i can share absolutely anything. thank you for trusting me. thank you for listening to me. thank you for loving me. can't wait for you to put your stories back up on this acc. you're undefeatable and i know you'll have that known.

to each one of my anons, for whom i pray that you stay safe and healthy and most importantly, happy —

🧸 :: put you on the anon list because in my head you are that anon — my very first one and the one that lit up my whole world. it's kind of a very proud moment when someone wants to talk to you. you made me feel that. you made feel loved. and to see how well your blog is doing now, god, i feel like a proud mother.

🐠 :: my greek princess. the fact that i learnt more about breads from you than from my school makes me laugh hehe. you really did light up my world with every ask you sent me and had me unknowingly hope that you are happy in every minute. and now that i know who you are, i'm even more content because you're a mutual too now!

🍧 :: god, you have a special place in my heart, ice cream anon! maybe because you liked me more than my fic and followed me here even though you were an anon from my bts blog. fuck, if that didn't make my heart flutter, nothing ever will! (hush, your relationship is something i am still rooting for!!)

🦊 |🌹| 🥀 | 🛸 :: the way you guys keep checks if i'm staying hydrated and healthy. i am. and even when i wasn't, your asks made me go drink a cup of water ha! thank you for loving me x

tiktok anon :: ♡♡♡♡♡♡ yes idk what else to say to you but that i would give you a piece of my heart. your tiktok asks make my whole day. it's something i look forward too! thank you for always making my day!

and to my other anons, tagged or untagged :: thank you for sending me an ask. every single one, either telling me to stay happy or hydrated, or that my fic was great or that you're feeling extra horny that day (we've all been there!) i appreciate it and thank you for making me smile! x

to all the mutuals that i admire, look upto and wish we talked waaaay more, let's do it soon please! and to some mutuals that i just miss talking to! —

@nightshade-minho (ily! x nicest bean ever!!) :: @satanssmuts :: @lovebini :: @seraplantery :: @xiaojunssmile :: @chan-skz :: @chanluster :: @decembermoonskz :: @bangtantaegi (queen!!) :: @yunhozone (i miss you!!) :: @inkigayeo :: @vocalyunho

i hope each one of you stay happy, content and loved. my memory is pea sized and so i do pray that i haven't forgotten any! thank you for being my mutuals, for sharing laughter and talks with me for these months i've been here! i’m sorry if i missed anyone, but i seriously do appreciate everyone that i’ve ever talked to on here though! i hope to see you all next year and let's be happy together !!

with much love, x rue!

[spacegaywritings]

Warming Paws and Melting Hearts (7/8) “Spider Threat”

 General

Summary: Remy is suddenly startled by a bigass spider but Virgil is ready to launch himself onto it and eat it within seconds. Remy snuggles his saviour, still petrified but oddly proud and somewhat impressed

Tags: spider, eating (living spiders), cat Virgil being a predator, Virgil being a protector, Remy screeching like a scared bapey, fluff, snuggles, cuddles, soft, mentions of previous intoxication, lapses in memory, hangover, twist, Emile, oopsie daisy~, also weird descriptions of violence, but it is all fluffy, dramatic eating of a living spider, uhh being mean to spiders, food, eating, headaches, Remy does not get painless rights istg

Ao3: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 // all.

Tumblr:  1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7(you are here) / 8 (next week!!).

My KoFi  - Support me ♥ or Commission me

Story under the cut! (Wordcount ~1,3k)

 It was the usual weekend, just an average morning. Remy cuddled up on the couch and got ready to enjoy his hangover in front of the TV. Yes, it was the perfect day to stay inside and never go out again.

His limbs were hurting, the sun was shining and warming up the air enough for him to despise the outside even more than he usually would. It was unclear to him as to why he was on the couch instead of his bed but like many other instances about last night, his memory remained unhelpful. He might not remember but he probably stumbled over the couch and passed out because he missed Virgil or was worried about locking them out of his bedroom.

 Knowing his drunk self, it was probably one of those things. He was pretty silly, especially when drunk.

 Remy gently hugged a nearby pillow and put on his favourite comfort show. Last night had been good and bad in the weirdest ways. His memory was hazy, blurry at best. He did not dare touch his phone. No, it was time to bury himself under his fluffy blanket and eat chocolate until his headache was drown out by the pure power that was a fucking sugar shock. Some part of him hoped to push away the reality if he just failed to acknowledge it for a little while longer.

 On the other hand, he was motivated by a weird desire to consume sugar. He longed for the sugar high that came with ignoring his body’s limits ever so idiotically. His body was loosely covered in a wide, white shirt with black letters spelling out “Sleep”. Pants? Yeah, he kinda wore boxers with lemons on it because they were sour like him. His sunglasses were perched up on his ruffled bed hair instead of his sassy nose.

His trademark leather jacket was missing, in its pace was the the purple and blue blanket he had made himself. The product of hours of crocheting was curled around his shoulders. He pulled an additional store-bought blanket over his legs (the universe, dark blue cave blanket!) and bundled himself up like a little burrito. Hey, he was tasty and deserved to give himself a treat and look like one.

If he had the sense to order food, he would order the greasiest shit ever but he did not want any kind of social interactions when he felt and looked like absolutely pale and tired trash.

 “Time to be a fucking bitch~”, he hummed to himself, a slight sing-song rhythm to his pronunciation of the words.

 He switched to the episode of his choice per remote and wiggled his eyebrows at the great drama show he had selected. Drama was perfect for comfort. Feeling less shitty about himself by looking at more miserable people was his primary coping mechanism. Still sleepy, he leaned over to the table where he had put a few snacks on, knowing his kitty wouldn’t stoop so low and interfere with his mortal food. The Queen was too extra for this. Also, he had little drawers in the table that stored his secret stash of snacks. He knew his migraine attacks and lock of motivation to get food. He was prepared.

 The TV started blaring and he flinched at the painfully loud sensation while he put his hands around a bowl as if to scoop it up like the fragile piece of porcelain it was. He was about to pick it up and let it rest in his lap when a big fat blackness appeared in his peripheral vision, distracting him from his deed. His fingers were on the remote, muting the show but he dropped it when the colour surprised him.

 A lightning-fast crawly crawl surfaced from under his couch and ran below his table.

 “WAHHHHH!!!!”

 The naked spider elicited a loud scream from his throat, making his booming head groan and press even harder down on his brain. It felt as if he was about to explode and it did not feel comfortable. Although the pain was tiring, he was screeching and jumping away - as far away from the spider as possible. His best friend, fear, was freezing his pain response just for long enough for him to move to another place without passing out from dizzy spells. Adrenaline washed his pain sensitivity away while the sudden shock just overrode it.

 In some kind of gross fascination, he watched the spider approach a table leg with rapid speed. Absolute disgust shook him as the creature got closer and closer to his table. There was his food!

 “No, don’t touch my food, I’m too sick for this shit, I swear to fucking god. I will burn you down to death, you dummy. My fooooood-”

 He moved to get up, held back by his blanket burrito-ing him! Unexpectedly, another blurry blob of charcoal burst into his vision and threw itself onto the intruder.

 Virgil!

 They jumped onto the spider, gargantuan paws falling onto the little crawler like a guillotine’s heavy blade. These warm, loving, furry and fluffy cuddle hands were suddenly tainted with the death shrieks of a spider that nobody could hear. It moved, struggled and trembled as Virgil leaped their tongue over the creature and bit into the spot.

The paws Remy knew to be promising and friendly were nothing like their usual nature anymore.

 They were claws of vengeance.

 “Wh- what the fuck-”

 The endless black hole that was the void was too big for Remy to see any more than this. Virgil was blocking his view on the little victim while they seemed to soundlessly cough out the little spider legs. Remy knew the cat was eating but the sudden, rigid movements reminded him of a slow and heavy slaughter.

 “Virgil..-”

 Amidst the brutality, Virgil finished up and purred. The cat looked at him, licking their muzzle and opening their mouth as if to yawn.

The owner blinked. Virgil blinked.

 The Killer Queen jumped onto the couch, just by his feet and slowly started liking their paws.

 “Aw, little riot.. did you protect me? You are some fucking savage of a dark and stormy knight, are you not?”

 The cat looked at him, blinking before resuming to lick their paws clean. They barely acknowledged the touched bitch on the side of the couch. No, they were busy. This was a serious Queen.

They sat up comfortably, their tail wrapped around their paws which dug into the couch’s softness. It looked like a black whip, ready to strike rather than the furry extension of a kitty it used to be to Remy before this incident.

 A weird feeling rumbled in his chest and he forgot the sickness and ache torturing him as he gently reached out for the little beast.

 “Hey, hey. Cuddle with me, little monster.”

 He giggled.

 Something within him could not unsee Virgil ripping apart a little, struggling spider while genuinely enjoying the taste of dying prey on their tongue. Another part of him felt warm and safe with that ferocious little void on his lap. They licked over Remy’s finger before curling up and further licking their paws clean.

 His show was running in the background, still muted. However, he barely heard footsteps approach his living-room.

If only he had been prepared for what was to come next. No drama show was capable of balancing out the blow that was coming for him, personally.

 “Good morning - Hey, Remy, can I take a shower?”

 Before him, a half-naked Emile was smiling tiredly at him. Face slightly pale, drained of blood and energy, Remy could smell their hangover with accurate horror.

 Why was his boss in his living-room?

 Oh, fuck-

 “Meow!”