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#its dumb for Me to think it would be easier
mettywiththenotes · 2 years
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I've gotten to the stage where I've been thinking drawing would be so much easier than writing
Which... is kinda dumb of me to think. Because I know art isn't easier, and I know I don't have the motivation nor the patience to keep practicing, but at least it would mean the images in my head are put down onto paper without having to think of sentences that go together and worry if they sound good or make sense
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faggling · 14 days
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sobbing
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bangcakes · 3 months
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.
#in the past i would have given up but now im like#oh right if i want something..... i gotta go for it and make it happen HDJDJDJDJDJDJ#itd be easier to give up tho LOL. god....#idk im just................ what if like. nothing even happens n i spejt all this time liking him like that would SUCK. hhhhhhhhh#i should just see if him n my ither friend wanna hang out but im ANXIOUS ABOUT ASKING#BC. GOD. the longer i dont see someone the more im like.... oh they probably didnt even like me that much JDJDJDJD#like this even happens with ppl ive been friends with for 15 years like i am just THAT insecure????#maybe not insecure.... idk. i think i just.... dont wanna get hurt so i tell myself that ppl dont actually like me. but thats like so dumb.#bc thats like... borrowing grief from the future right????? and like hhhhh god#idk i just like. sometimes its better to have 0 expectations or hopes??????#idk romance has never worked out for me b4 so why would it this time#tho to be fair this is the first time ive actually like wanted stuff to keep happening.#prev guys ive been like oh god oh no this is so fast#and its like. just them wanting to talk constantly#but now i have this guy that i talk to like. every 1 to 2 weeks LOL GOD#im trying to hang in there#i think its just that its passed 2am#idk idk#im just.............!!!!#and like what if bc im not moving fast enough.... he moves on JDJJDKDKDKDKDMDMMDMD#but then its like.... ok it wasnt meant to be then....??????#god this is so JDJDJJDJDJDJD#be careful what u wish for bc like. i said i always wanted a friends first slow burn and LMAO.......#hhhh n e way#im also like maybe i jynxed this whole thing by talking about it too much 😭😭😭#ugh whatever... im so JDJFJFJDMDMMD#personal
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starphobe · 1 month
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fh fandom back to wishing death on a fictional teenager for being mentally ill and not learning how to cope with that in a healthy way. what else is new
#do i think klck is correct? no#do i think a fandom full of grown adults should stop holding this (manipulated) (not sound of mind) teenager to wack standards? ya#like.... some of you are... how do i say this.... ~projecting~#and dont get me wrong this isnt me trying to say shes some kind of innocent misunderstood blorbo 🥺🥺🥺#i think shes a freak and a cunt. but im going to be normal about it and NOT say that she deserves to be killed (????)#pre-overtaking she was clearly aware that her behavior wasn't healthy#the fact she even went to jawbone at all (and was honest with him!) proves that imo#personally i feel like she might be neurodivergent -> struggling with knowing which rules to break and which ones to not#we literally JUST had an episode where the principal of AAA told students to their face that studying and working hard is dumb#i think kipperlilly came to aguefort. couldn't get a grip on what they Actually wanted from her#(parents went to mumple. she couldnt have been prepared for aguefort)#and out of frustration she fixated on people who were doing well and compared herself to them#and the only major surface difference she could find? tragic backstories#it only makes sense that she'd assume that THAT is what was missing. her inability to adapt to AAA was out of her control#so instead of blaming smth abstract (neurodivergence/other mental illness)#this single. concrete. and obvious difference is way easier to latch on to#but yeah. imo she just reads as someone super neurodivergent who received No Help because she 'made do'#and when thrown into a situation that required a skillset she wasn't born with. she shut down and got defensive#noone is born wanting to die yadda yadda#i think it's very interesting that when jawbone turned the question around on her (asking what SHE could do to get better)#she got quiet and awkward#its almost like she was trying her best? and just couldn't figure out where to go next?#and OH would you look at that. jace offering her a trip to the mountains of chaos. for a ~super dangerous adventure~#🙄#anyway.#awfully convenient. isn't it.#this has been me. having takes on ms goldendoodle shibainu#goodnight everyone (its noon)#not tagging this out of fear of the *** stans out there who will not stop taking things personally
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#listen. im just gonna rant abt something real dumb for a sec#the framing of missing 411 stories make me so annoyed. and if u dont kno. missing 411 stories are focused on ppl who went missing in#national parks or just out in nature with no real explanation. i dont even kno why i watch these videos they just make me mad#theyre not all bad but like mother fucker do u not kno how easy it is to get lost in thr fucking woods?#theyre like: this person was an experienced hiker. they wouldnt have just done X#like no. fuck off. it only takes one bad move. one bad day. one unexpected run in and boom that's it#its not that crazy???? its not magic or bigfoot. its ppl getting confused or disoriented and panicking#i mean. obvously not in every case but fucking im like 99% sure its not spooky stuff. its just easier than youd like to think to get lost#my little sister got lost in the woods when she was like 6. she took a wrong turn on a hiking path and walked so far my dad almost turned#back bc he thought she would never get that far but there she was. one tiny blip in a big big forest and she was on a path#its so so easy to miss one tiny point out there. this also goes for places out in the desert#like sure its flat. how could a person get lost in an open space? but no fuck u. ive gotten lost walking along a 50m flat transect#i looked up and for about a minute i wasnt where i thought i was. the heat and not drinking or eating enough can really mess with you head#ugh. i dunno. one of my lab mates has done more like serious outdoors stuff. like not going back to civilization for weeks doing field#work out in Colorado. and he says there is something weird about being alone out there. like some places have a call to them. a temptation#compelling you to do things u kno r bad ideas. but i also pressed him and it seems to come from a lack of othet ppl watching you#like a lack of socal constraint enables the temptation to make reckless choices. so like i dunno it sounds more like a human thing#than the supernatural but like what do i kno? anyway. missing 411 stories make me man#mad. god. there was one i watched where the guys were like. hm they seem to happen around weird places like swamps. or around bad weather#events. so maybe these places or events cause disappearances to happen. like fucking no! do u hear what ur saying?????#the disappearences occure around places that are objectively difficult to search under conditions that delay search effort????? is ur brain#broken? the bad conditions make it hard to find ppl so u find less ppl and theyre marked as missing. jesus christ#anyway. its baffling to me. but i keep watching thr videos. probably bc i have nightmares about running into wild animals out in the woods#so im searching for like. god what not to do if i get lost in the woods. when what i shoukd do is watch survival videos rip#unrelated#ugh. also ive done some work in a national park where u would think its super super hard to get lost but our fieldwork got delayed bc ppl#had to go do search and rescue and the person was dead by the time they were found. i dont kno the details but like its a thing that#happens. its not that crazy#not to mention all the dumb fucks who fall of the cliffs every year down where i grew up. every fucking year. it happened to one of our#neighbors. he was at the bottom of this cliff for a whole day and survived. i dunno bad things happen everyday. u r not immune
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monsterbisexual · 7 months
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i hate how i feel doing or not doing certain stuff for/because of the pain + fatigue since im a fat person :///
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foxcassius · 1 year
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i have split my self-taught korean lessons into a Morning Block and an Evening Block. classes start monday evening and end friday morning. in the evenings, i do the textbook portion of an entire chapter of this book. takes like 30 mins and then i have to spend forever manually making quizlet flashcards bc this book has no online resources beyond the listenings. then i practice the flashcards a little, sleep, and wake up. in the morning, i practice the flashcards again and then i do the workbook portion of an entire chapter of the book. takes like 30-40 mins. then i usually take a nap. in this way, i am sleeping between almost every Session of my class to ingrain the information on my brain, and am completing 4 chapters per week, which is great because i already know the content of like every single one of these chapters atm and just need to get through them to get to the stuff i dont know. i would say the most valuable asset this book is providing me is the structured vocabulary lists since amassing vocabulary is the hardest part of learning a language, for me. i also think the workbook is deeply useful. i kind of wish there were more workbook pages per chapter. because putting the language to use is the best form of practice. and as such, the thing my self-taught korean lessons is lacking the most is conversation in korean with other humans.
#if i tried to converse with jiwon in korean he would talk too fast he always does idk why he does that.#i understand that i need to get used to how people really talk but i'm literally just starting. chill. slow down.#and i dont want to make him go Teacher Mode bc he's not my teacher and also? i do not vibe with his teaching style#every time he tries to teach me something or answer one of my questions it goes crazy out of hand and i cry idk why#and also yesterday i saw him teaching jenni's class a little and also did not like how he was teaching her#obviously if she likes it that is her business but i would die if that was my class#so anyway. i am thinking of picking up lessons that are purely conversational. like i send the vocabulary lists for the week to#my tutor and then we have slower and easier conversations about the trivial topics in the textbook so i can start to practice#like i guess my thing is if i asked jiwon to have a conversation with me that used month/day negatives locations easy adjectives and verbs#he would 1) use a bunch of conjugations i dont know and then spend 20 mins explaining them to me#and 2) use the tone of voice he uses when he speaks easy korean to me that feels very very pandering and is usually fine#but makes me feel really dumb when he uses it while im trying to study#so i just want to avoid speaking to him in korean until i am fluent basically because i always feel really dumb when i try#i know this is impossible but its still what i want.#t
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coryosbaby · 6 months
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i’d do ANYTHING for a part 2 of life lessons
Teacher
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synopsis: Coryo oversteps some boundaries with himself (and doesn’t regret it).
♡ content warning . Threesome, more Sejanus x coryo in this? (the genderfluid in me screaming rn) + some sexuality questioning and inner homophobia, handjobs, praise and degradation, cum eating . Dom! Sejanus, switch! Reader, sub! Coryo <3
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He didn’t think it would happen again.
Not in a million years. Not after that one night, when him and Sejanus had let go with you watching. When Sejanus had punished him for taking your orgasm from him. When they touched each other. He thought their friendship was ruined.
Oh boy, was he wrong.
Sejanus has him sprawled out on your bed now, the pink sheets that made Coryo let out a snort before the other boy had scolded him silky and soft. Coryo’s cock lays against his stomach, red and aroused to its fullest capacity. You’re on your stomach, your cheek nuzzling Coryo’s thigh, leaving little kisses on the meaty skin there. You’ve grown fond of him, this handsome blonde boy, and you know Sejanus’ adoration has only increased since that one night.
And that’s why Coryo has allowed him to touch him again.
It’s not as intimate or close as it was that one night. No— this is easier, simpler. Coryo feels less pain slicing through his stomach when Sejanus’ face isn’t towering over his own. When it isn’t a fight— a rough, desperate battle of tongue on tongue and skin on skin. When he’s not seeing a boy above him.
He has no problem with men who like other men. He finds it stupid to worry about such a dumb, small thing, to be in other people’s business like that. But those words from his peers, the hatred towards such people, it makes his gut twist with guilt.
Guilt because he likes men. Guilt because he likes Sejanus.
He likes you, too. At least sexually. Maybe a little romantically too, but he doesn’t know how comfortable Sejanus would be knowing that, so he keeps his mouth shut about his feelings. About it all.
He shakes the thoughts out of his head. There’s no reason to think these things right now, not when Sejanus’ fingers are wrapping around his cock and tugging, something he’s oddly good at and Coryo suspects he’s probably done this before. His precum drips over the other boy’s fist, wet and warm and perfect. You keep giving Coryo these teasing little eyes, challenging him to do something, anything to test your limits, to test Sejanus’, and you know that once Coryo is challenged that he’ll try his hardest to win.
He tries to move away from Sejanus’ hand. He doesn’t want to. It takes all his willpower to pull his hips away. But he does it, and he does it because he wants Sejanus to put him in his place and not because he wants to stop. Sejanus knows this, because if he really wanted to stop he would use the safeword. He grunts, his big arm grabbing onto Coryo’s lean body.
“Stop it,” he growls, burying his chin in the boy’s golden curls. “Don’t be a brat.”
Coryo smirks, his nails digging into the other boys equally bare thighs.
“Or what, Sejanus? It’s not like you have any power, anyway. She’s wanting to suck my cock.”
Oh, he’s done it now. Mentioning you in his little tantrum, claiming some kind of territory over you. Sejanus hand goes up around the boy’s neck, the kind of grip that Coryo didn’t expect from him. His teeth scrape against his neck and his hand goes back down to his cock.
Only this time, he slaps him. Hard.
Coryo grits his teeth. A groan escapes him, and his cock reddens under Sejanus’ hand.
“What did I tell you?” The brunette warns him.
“Mmm…” Coryo lets out a sultry little whine, his hips humping up into the open air with precision. “I’m sorry.”
He says it with no real meaning, a faux tone in his voice. Sejanus scoffs, and his hand wraps around him again. You watch the whole scene with an amused look.
“You’re gonna be,” Sejanus says, and his eyes direct to you. “Open your mouth, sweetheart.”
You obey, all sweet and innocent. Sejanus’ hand furiously rubs over Coryo’s cock, and the boy gasps, his hips lifting up as he groans throatily. You think he looks gorgeous, abs pulled taught, wet cock threatening to squirt into your open, awaiting mouth. Sejanus’ hardness rubs against the boy’s back as he watches the scene, his best friend and his girl getting each other all hot and bothered. Coryo’s face is contorted in intense pleasure, and he knows he’s close. Can feel it in the way his balls draw up tight, in the way his ears begin to ring from the force of his upcoming orgasm.
When he cums inside your mouth, your tongue laps him up greedily. You’re a slut for cum, all salty and creamy and thick, and you can’t wait to get Sejanus’, too. Coryo pushes your head forward, demands you lap up the rest of it. Sejanus lets him. You clean his cock up in no time.
But Sejanus gives you a look. A look that tells you not to stop. You know your boyfriend well, after all, and you can read practically any expression he makes.
So you don’t stop sucking him. Coryo tries to move your hand off, tries to get you to stop, “‘s too much,” he says in that whimpering tone. But Sejanus grabs his fingers and holds them down so he can’t take you off of him. He cries at the overstimulation, literal tears flooding his blushing cheeks, and Sejanus kisses his neck.
“It’s okay, Coryo,” he says softly. “Gonna cum again, yeah? Gonna cum for us?”
And how can he resist that?
So with a mix of pleasure and pain coursing through his cock, he makes himself let out weak spurts of cum onto your tongue again. But your mouth doesn’t stop— again. And no, no, it’s too much, it hurts, but how can Coryo resist?
So he sits back, lets Sejanus move down to play with that space behind his cock, and submits.
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dilatorywriting · 8 months
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59 Leona, it'd take a lot for him to admit but he would say it eventually. (Also I know you'd recognize me but I'm shy, so anon it is)
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Gender Neutral Reader x Leona Kingscholar Word Count: 1.5k
Prompt 59: "People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you, I think fate was being harsh on you."
[EVENT MASTERLIST]
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You are nice, and you are stupid. And those things aren’t mutually exclusive.
Sometimes you’re nice because you’re stupid, and sometimes you do stupid things because you’re too nice for your own stupid, stupid good. And it drives Leona half insane.
Which it shouldn’t, because nice, stupid people like you are just as annoying as his brother. Goody-two-shoes with buttoned vests and sparkly, star-shaped stickers on their term papers.
“Did you remember your homework?”
Leona flicked his tail in your face and you scrunched your nose over your notebook.
“Well?”
“Of course I remembered,” he scoffed, lazing back against the roots of one of his favorite trees. This spot used to be so much quieter, so much more peaceful, before you decided to trail after him like a duck quacking for its mother.
“Did you do the homework?” you clarified, and Leona rolled his eyes.
You sighed and starting ruffling around in your bookbag. “I brought a spare copy of the worksheet. You’re going to drive Ruggie insane, y’know. If he winds up stuck with you for another year because you failed for not turning in assignments.”
“Yeah. Sure. Another three-hundred-and-sixty-five days to rifle through my wallet. Worst news of his life.”
You huffed good naturedly and handed him the sheet of crisp, white copy paper and a pen. “Get to work, Kingscholar.”
“Oh?” he drawled, closing his eyes and settling back, loose limbed and all long, lean leisure, against the tree trunk. Clearly ready for an afternoon snooze. “Make me.”
You sighed again and reached over to flick your own well-used pen against his ear. It twitched under your fingers—soft, and tufted. The finest of the pale, tan fur brushing up against your fingertips. “Fine. Be that way. See if I bring you lunch tomorrow.”
“You will,” he scoffed.
“Yeah,” you sighed, sounding resigned and foolishly fond. “I probably will.”
See? Stupid. So easy to manipulate. So willing to let yourself be squashed under his clawed thumb. It was a wonder you’d managed to survive in this school at all. Nevertheless by clinging onto the coattails of someone like him. He’d never made anyone’s existence easier a day in his life, and he certainly wasn’t going to start now, just because you were too soft-hearted and slow to see a looming predator for what it was.
“Just give me that stupid fucking paper,” he snapped, sitting upright and swatting away your poking pen with a sneer. You laughed into your palms like a secret—bright, and merry, and dumb as a fucking rock.
“Whatever you say, Leona.”
.
.
You’d handled his Overblot with a strange sort of aplomb that at first Leona had attributed to perhaps a lingering, hidden confidence that he’d just never bothered to unearth. You were just some herbivore, and even the littlest rabbits could bite back when you put them in a corner. But then he’d come to the decision that that easy conviction was just another symptom of your rampant stupidity.
“I know you guys don’t want to hurt me, or any of us. Not really,” you shrugged around a wad of cotton—the blood dripping from your nose slowly drying up to a tacky, sticky dribble. Leona gaped at you outright.
That was your grand explanation. For why you’d been so eager to charge forward when he’d collapsed in a pool of inky nightmares and self-loathing. And the very same reason apparently thatyou’d felt so comfortable rushing forward to treat Azul Ashengrotto’s blubbering, hysterical, breakdown with the same urgency.
“That octo-prick would have ripped you in half,” he sneered, fingers twitching a nervous rhythm against his palms as he watched the nurse wrap another layer or bandages around your head.
You shrugged. “Not on purpose.”
You were going to give him an aneurism.
“You’re going to get yourself killed,” he snarled, ignoring the horrible, twisty thing curling like bile through his chest. “And I’m not going to bother paying for some self-sacrificing idiot’s funeral.”
Another shrug.
“That’s alright,” you hummed, a soft sort of crooked smile on your mouth. “Would’ve been a waste of money anyways.”
Leona didn’t talk to you for a week after that. Surely because your stupidity had reached such a fever pitch that it was no doubt contagious, and he needed to protect his far superior and more valuable brain. Not because the image of you smiling and nodding along to his declarations that he wouldn’t put the effort into mourning your death had soured something so deep in his gut that he wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to scrape it out.
.
.
When he received a letter from home asking him to return for some shitty coronation nonsense for his equally shitty brother, Leona had debated just skipping it outright. Who was going to stop him? You?
Well. Yes, apparently.
“It sounds important,” you hummed, peering over his shoulder at the neat, formal scrawl of the summons. “You should go.”
He snorted. “I don’t want to be there, they don’t want me to be there. What’s the point.”
You frowned, brow crinkling in the middle.
“Well, that’s not true,” you said, perplexed. “They wouldn’t write to you if that was the case.”
Leona snorted, eyes darting away to glare bitterly off into the corner. “Not like they have a choice.”
“Well then you don’t have a choice either,” you argued, firm. “I’ll go with you. See? It says you can have a plus one. You can camp out in your fancy, princey, bedroom. And I can siphon you snacks from the fancy, princey hors d'oeuvres tables. That way we both win. You get to be a reclusive asshole and rub the fact that that you still went in everyone’s faces, and I can get access to some tasty, royal food that I’ll probably never be able to afford again for the rest of my life.”
“Should’ve known you’d be like Ruggie—only using me for the free food,” he sighed, melodramatic and obviously put on.
“Well, also because I thought you could use the emotional support,” you added, a touch too soft and far too genuine. “But I didn’t think you wanted to hear that bit.”
“You’re right,” he scoffed, turning onto his side to hide the strange, miserable heat pricking at his skin. “Don’t ever say corny shit like that again.”
“Aye, aye, captain,” you grinned, flicking at his ear, and Leona added another mental tab to his never-ending list of reasons that you were really far too brainless to keep functioning at all.
.
.
You were nice, and you were stupid. And Seven, he wanted to be anywhere but here.
“My brother hasn’t ever brought someone to one of these events before,” Falena had said, to your face. Idiot to idiot communication.  
“I didn’t give him much of an option,” you’d chirped, perfectly pleasant. “I don’t think he wants me anywhere near here, to be fair. Or around him in general. But I’m like a cockroach. Can’t get rid of me.”
And Falena had laughed. Because he was terrible. And said, “I’m sure he must care about you very much, little cockroach.”
And then because you were more terrible, you laughed back and said very assuredly, “Oh, not at all.”
Which was—was—
“Do you really think that?” he snapped, once the two of you were alone. And you blinked back at him with wide, owlish eyes.
“Think what?”
Think at all,he wanted to sneer, but just glared silently and bitterly into the middle distance—fighting the nonsensical, irritated swishing of his tail.
But you just kept staring at him. Like he was the moron here. Which was unacceptable.
“Look,” he frowned, sharp and miserable. “I get it. People like me aren’t supposed to have someone like you. Whatever gods exist out there were playing a shitty fucking joke on you when they dropped you in my lap. But you’re stuck with me. So stop—” he bit out, fighting that awful, twisty thing in his gut that never seemed to fully go away. “Stop talking like I can’t stand you.”
“…oh,” you mumbled, whisper quiet—that wide, startled gaze flicking away in embarrassment. “Oh.”
“Oh,” he echoed, sharp, and you snorted a laugh that seemed to surprise even you.
“You’re stuck with me too then, y’know,” you said after a long moment. “Even when I make you grumpy.”
“You don’t make me grumpy. I am grumpy. You make me—” he cut off quick, eyes darting away petulantly and an absolutely unfair heat rising along his cheekbones.  
“Itchy,” you piped in, and he gaped at you in shock.
“What?”
“You know,” you shrugged, awkward, and reached up to wiggle your fingers. “Cockroach. Many legs. Squirming. Itchy.”
“Never say any of those words again.”
You laughed into your palm—inelegant and a touch too loud. Leona felt his lips quirk.
“Thank you,” you said after a moment, once your giggles were a bit more under control. And leaned forward quick as a whip to press a nervous peck against his cheek. “For being kind to me.”
Kind.
Leona reached up to press a hand against the too-warm skin with a terrible, unfamiliar sensation in his head not unlike the fuzzy, white drone of TV static. And a horrible thought managed to filter its way through the floating, buzzing sensation curling through the whole of him.
Oh, fuck. It is contagious.
.
.
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nocturnowlette · 6 months
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If you want to enter a Puppy Mindset whenever you wish, read this post. I assure you that it's worth it.
I want to explore the idea today of entering a state of mind called Puppy Space, and let anyone who reads my scripts be able to go in and out of it at will.
...and to maybe sink into it whenever they see my posts. Maybe.
If you wish you read this, but are new to hypnosis or want for this script to be more effective, I highly suggest reading my first script here. It makes everything so much Easier.
Now, let's begin.
...
The general idea of a Puppy Space is to feel Dumb, but not mindless. To feel Happy and Calm and Obedient, but to still be able to do your everyday tasks. Feeling so Happy while you do them.
Oh, and feeling the need to Bark constantly. Finding words so hard, but being able to get them out so long as you Bark enough.
I've put a few subjects into Puppy Space before (and have been in it myself) and it feels great.
When I was in that state, I felt so
Melty.
So Happy.
So Dumb.
Barking every time you want to speak, being able to think, but finding it so, so hard. Only being able to speak if you
Bark
enough.
Feeling so hard to think. Your thoughts slowing down, getting so, so Dumb. Focusing on my words so easily, like all of your mind is so Focused on me that everything else just shuts off. Everything just fades away.
I want you to imagine a bunch of floating bubbles, splitting and combining and growing and shrinking.
These bubbles represent your thoughts.
So if I were to just,
slowly approach one,
my claw getting ever closer,
until it
Pops.
Harder to think.
I approach another, and
Pop.
And that thought is gone.
Pop.
Pop.
Pop.
So hard to think, all of your thoughts going
Pop
right as you think them.
Your thoughts popping for me, I don't even have to do it anymore.
Your thoughts just
Pop
on their own.
Any time you find yourself thinking, your mind instantly
Pops
it for me.
A Good little thoughtless Puppy.
Pop.
However, there's one bubble bigger than the others, one that your mind can't quite pop on its own.
This bubble contains all of your remaining awareness. You already feel quite Dumb, but our minds love to hold on to some of it.
Focus on my words even more.
The more you Focus, the easier it is for your thoughts to
Pop.
The easier you Focus on my words, the more real they become.
The bubble starts to grow. It starts to fill with other parts of your mind.
Your inhibitions go into the bubble. It gets a little bit bigger.
Your stresses go into the bubble. It gets bigger. So stressed, and all of that stress slipping right in, so so Easily.
Bigger.
Your fears and anxieties go into the bubble. Everything you're scared of, slips right in. The bubble gets
Bigger.
Every little bit of your human mind left feeding right in. It gets
Bigger.
So Big, so Fragile.
There's too many thoughts in this bubble, too much for it to hold on to.
It's so Hard to keep control, to hold on to these things.
It would be so, so Easy
to let it just
Pop your Mind Away.
...
Welcome to Trance.
If you're new to this, this is a state of mind where you are both highly relaxed and very Focused.
It allows me, or anyone else that brings you into it, to suggest behaviors to you. To be Commanded, as well.
For example,
You feel Dumber. See how Easy that is? You feel Dumber now.
Every time you think you're already so Dumb, but you just get Dumber again. Staring at my words so intently, and yet being so Mindless.
Such a Good Puppy.
Good Puppies should be Mindless, sometimes. You're saving all the thinking up for later, when you really need to. No need to think right now, just let me do it for you.
Like a little antenna, you feel so
Receptive
to my words.
Like an invisible antenna is sticking right out of your silly puppy head.
Every Command is Received so Easily, sending waves through your entire skull. My words have so much power over you, because you Love to Receive them. You love it too much. You need to let my words in.
However, being this Mindless isn't very practical for long, long periods of time.
It feels so good to just Sink like this, but so many puppies are just so busy. Little chores, big tasks, your paws and puppy mind feeling so exhausted from all of it.
Like this, though, so Mindless and Obedient and Receptive, you feel so, so
Happy.
So Relaxed.
So Content.
Bark for me.
Adorable.
I want to give you a gift for reading this post.
I want to let you enter a state of mind that lets you be so
Happy, and
Relaxed, and
Content
while going throughout your every day life. Making chores and little tasks so Easy to do, feeling so Happy doing them.
Making your thoughts
Pop,
But not so much that you can't do anything.
Just smart enough, but so, so Dumb.
To be able to speak, but to find it so, so hard. Like a molasses that covers your mind, every little word gets so easily consumed by it. The words just disappear, All Gone.
However, every time you
Bark,
those words get just a little easier to say. The molasses clears for just a moment, blown away by the force of the Bark, only to seep back in eventually.
You need to Bark several times to get out a sentence, but with enough effort, you can do it.
Pop.
Pop.
Pop.
You feel that bubble filling up again.
There's not much left in that little puppy brain of yours, but still fills up a bit anyways.
It gets Bigger.
Filling up with even more little bits of your mind, things you didn't even know could be popped away.
It fills up even Bigger.
Filling with everything except for your focus on my words.
Getting so Big, Bigger and Bigger, so Fragile.
Bigger, and
Bigger, and
Bigger, until it
Pops your Mind Away.
...
In a moment, I will count upwards from 1 to 5. When I do, you will enter
Puppy Space.
You will be able to speak, but only when you Bark enough. Keeping the molasses away, for just a moment.
You will feel so
Happy, and
Blissful, and
Obedient.
If you have an owner, you will feel so, so Devoted to them.
If you have tasks you need to do, small little chores or larger tasks, you will feel so Happy to do them. Healthy Puppies are so Happy.
However, whenever you need to come up, or when you want to come up, to become human again, it will feel so Easy.
Until that moment, though, it will feel so, so Hard.
So Hard to resist the Puppy Space.
And, if you allow it, with every time you see my words, my posts, my thoughts, and my ideas, you will find yourself so easily drifting back into this Puppy Space.
And, whenever you so wish, you can re-enter this Puppy Space yourself, but echoing the words
"Puppy Space"
over and over and over until you can't think of many words at all. Until the molasses has covered your mind.
Occasionally, you will need to come back to this post, to reinforce the triggers. Or to me directly.
But, for now, it will be so, so Strong. Stronger than anything you thought possible.
Entering Puppy Space on the count of 5.
1.
Feeling control over your body coming back.
2.
Easier to focus on things other than my words.
3.
Feeling so Happy, Obedient, and Relaxed.
4.
Becoming just a little easier to think, enough to just barely do your tasks.
5.
Puppy Space.
...
Hello, puppy. Do you feel nice? Of course you do, that's what puppies do. They feel so
Nice, and so Dumb, and so, so Happy.
You're Adorable, you know that?
You can feel like this every single time you read my words, every time you see my posts. If you'd like, you can follow my blog for more puppy, hypnosis, and me-related ramblings.
I'd also love to see you Bark for me. Reblog this post, Barking your little mind away. Maybe try typing about how it felt, only so long as you Bark enough to form words while doing it.
Anyways, I hope you enjoy yourself, Puppy.
I hope to see you more in the future.
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kcsplace · 2 years
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Steve gets started attending Community College,but he doesn't tell anyone, embarrassed that he might fail, that they'll tease him, that they'll be embarrassed by him.  Nancy is going to go off and change the world, Jonathan's photography talent is gonna get him into art school somewhere, Robin is having colleges trip over themselves to offer her scholarships and Eddie's band is starting to draw crowds that aren't just about "checking out the maybe-possible-kinda-murderer-dude". 
Why would any of them want to hang out with a loser like Steve?
Steve, madly desperately and stupidly in love with Eddie even if he hasn’t said anything thinks that means he can't have kids now, but he knows he's good with them.  He also knows what its like to go from hero to zero and just how easy it is to be a shit in school and how important it is to change.  So he thinks he could be a good guidance counsellor.  He thinks he could help those kids out.  Kids like Max and Eddie that don’t have all the things he had growing up, kids like himself who didn’t have positive role models, kids like Will and Robin that are a little different.
His father shat all over that dream, told him he'd be shit at it, just like everything else he tried - he can’t even win a championship in four years of trying -, and so he's not paying for it.  As a result, sure in his decision, Steve's been working to pay for college (much easier in the 80s admittedly and at CC) but he's burning the candle at both ends, especially working for the credits to transfer as a junior into a four year college. 
Eddie finds him asleep in his car outside his latest job, all his textbooks on the seat next to him.  He lets himself into the car, wakes Steve up, all the textbooks in his lap, flipping through their pages in the dim illumination provided by the dome light.  Steve thinks Eddie's gonna mock him, tell him he's gonna be bad at it, he won’t be able to hack community college let alone a four-year, and even if he could, what school would hire a loser like him to help kids? He’s waiting to hear all about how stupid Steve is to think that just because he kept a couple kids alive, he thinks he can guide them during their most vulnerable times.  Steve tries to steer it off, starts blathering out that its nothing, just y'know, Robin tells him all thetime its good for the brain to learn and his dad’s been riding him to grow up and shit and that it was just an available course, but Eddie isn't actually dumb.
He starts dropping off notebooks to Steve's work, new stationery, he likes the feeling that his gifts help Steve get his grades, that Steve's working toward his future with the pens that Eddie gave him.  Its stupid little shit but seeing the pens that Eddie gave him shoved behind Steve's ear or him chewing on them while he studies...it gives Eddie the warm and fuzzies OKAY? he doesn't wanna talk about it
Seriously, Robin, he doesn’t wanna talk about spending a quarter of his legally obtained paycheck (fuck you so much, Sheriff) on shit from Ink Spot and he isn’t gonna.
after six months of keeping Steve’s secret, Eddie heads over to the Harrington house for some movies and weed - its not a school night after all - only to see Steve’s textbooks sticking out the trash.  He finds a dejected Steve sitting by the pool, and drops them all in his lap.  Turns out, after weeks of work and research, Steve had gotten a C on an important essay. 
“So you just quit?”
“Why not? I clearly can’t handle it.”
“Y’know, maye you should.”
“’Scuse you?”
“The kids deserve better than some iidiot that just quits the moment shit gets tough.”
“Glad you agree.”
“Or, you could let me help you.”
“You. the guy that took three goes to graduate?”
“Just proves I stick to shit until it’s done. And I’m gonna make sure yu do the same.”
One year, countless study sessions, one immense blowout fight over the Oxford comma, and a loyalty card to the Ink Spot later, Steve turns up on Eddie’s doorstep with an envelope that he thrusts at Eddie.  Tearing into the envelope like a gremlin, Eddie stares at the words in front of him.
“Well????!”
“Dear Mister Harrington, we are delighted to inform hmpffff-”
Eddie might not have been prepared for Steve to kiss him, but he got on board real quick.  Literally.  Dropping the letter and its promise of a place at Purdue for Steve to transfer to complete his degree, Eddie wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck, hopped and wrapped his legs around the man’s hips.
“Never made out with a college boy, before.”
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plush-rabbit · 1 month
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The One Where Adam Steals Lucifer's Babe
Word Count: 4.9K A/N: I had an idea about this, but I wanted to get it out. This was supposed to be headcanons, but it turned into a story!! woo(•_•)  This is also not done. Like I wanted it to be be headcanons so bad, but i need to establish a plot line because im like dumb. um, so yeah. if this does become anything more, i think max three chapter Its written as if Adam is a sinner so yeah!! -
Dating the King of Hell should be easy- nothing short of bliss and love. And it is easy being with the King of Hell, when he has to make appearances, and he has to put up a front. But being with Lucifer is much more difficult. You know he’s not over Lilith, and you aren’t even close to being a replacement for her. And yet, he keeps you around. You can trick yourself that he still wants you, that maybe he does enjoy being with you. But lying to yourself doesn't make anything easier. You walk out of the castle without a word to Lucifer, childishly hoping that he’d figure out that you weren’t there on his own. On your stroll to nowhere in particular, you check your phone constantly, hoping to see a missed message or call from him- some type of form that he still takes notice of you. You have to silence your phone when you feel tears prick your eyes at the empty screen.
You wind up in some sleazy bar, a bit too tipsy, and far too melancholic  to do anything more than swirl a glass of alcohol with melting ice. You watch the condensation drip down the side of the glass, creating a ring over the coaster. Beside you, the chair scrapes, and your spirits are lifted. It’s Lucifer! He’s chased you down and now he’s going to apologize and proclaim his- your shoulders fall when you realize that it’s not Lucifer. The realization leaves you cold and far lonelier than you initially were. Instead, it’s Adam- the First Man. You wonder for a brief moment if he even still calls himself that.
“Mind your fuckin’ business,” he sneers, sitting beside you. He lifts his hand, and the bartender pushes a glass and a bottle towards him, muttering something about a tab under his breath before turning his attention elsewhere. 
You heard he had become a Sinner- the very thing he sought to kill for entertainment not that long ago. However, you had yet to see him since he was stabbed by Niffty. You wonder if his new form has a hole in his back now.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he tells you, malice tinged at his words, but he makes no real motion to actively wave you off. You’re sure he would have if he was still divine.
A closer inspection reveals that he’s in far worse shape than you could have imagined. A beard that’s in the awkward phase of growing out, deep bags under his eyes, and gaunt cheeks. Hell has not been kind to him. But, what else could you have expected? He was an exorcist- the exorcist- and now, he’s stuck in Hell. Honestly, you should be surprised that his head isn’t mounted somewhere.
You turn back to your drink, and wipe a line of condensation off. “I’m surprised you’d even show your face around these parts,” you mumble, taking a swig of your drink. It burns going down, and you try to hide your displeased expression.
“Fuck you,” he hisses out, taking a long drink from the bottle.
“You know, as a former exorcist, I’d suggest being nice to demons around these parts.” You raise your hand at the bartender, and he walks over, and places the tab in front of you. “You never know who you’re gonna piss off next.” You leave a hefty amount, enough to cover your drinks and leave a pretty tip. 
“What? You’re gonna sick Lucifer on me?” You turn to him, embarrassment hot on your cheeks, and he wears a crooked smile. “Your face and his are plastered everywhere I look.”
With a sigh, you push the check away from you. “Must suck for you,” you mumble. His response is to take a drink from the bottle. “I hated having my picture taken before,” you tell him, unsure if he’s even listening or not. “I felt that they never really got my good side.”
“I’d get photographed all the time in Heaven,” he says in a low tone after a moment of silence. “Bitches could never get enough of me.” You scrunch your nose at the word, and fold the straw wrapper into squares. “Fucking loved it.”
“Wish I loved the camera.” You cross your ankles together, tucking them under the seat of the stool. “I hated being looked at.”
There's a pause in the conversation, long enough that you believe the small talk has ended. You could go back to the castle but if Lucifer hadn't taken notice of your absence, you'd surely have a breakdown. Maybe you could go to the hotel. Charlie would understand. “You still get your picture taken?” Adam asks, his voice startling you. 
You tilt your head to the side, underneath the seat, your legs twist around themselves. “Not as often as I used to. I think it was more like uh-” you wave your hand around and the folded wrapper unfurls itself- “shock value? I think. Like the King of Hell downgrading to some resident.” You smile bitterly. “Not even a Goetia or anything.”
“A Goetia?”
“These magical birds.” You look at him. “You’ve been in Hell for a bit, haven’t you? I’m surprised you haven’t heard or seen them.”
“I don’t get out a lot.”
“‘Cause you’re hated?” You ask, a wicked tone laced in your words. Adam responds by  mocking your voice with the same question. You scoff with a smile on your face. “I wonder why, if you’re such a peach.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
It’s silent. And you watch as the bartender grabs your drink, leaving the coaster behind. A memory of drinking with Lucifer pops into your head- his honeyed smile as he pours you a glass of wine that you would have never been able to afford, to even be aware of such a delicacy that existed in Hell. Never would he have taken you to some dingy bar where less than savory individuals reside. 
You’ve been taken care of. Pampered and adored for a considerable amount of time, before all the light had dimmed. You should have never allowed yourself to get used to such treasures. You glance over at Adam, and wonder if he can understand. “Do you come here often?” You ask him, crossing your arms over the bar. He chokes on his drink and slams the bottle down. He gives you a bewildered stare and you raise your shoulders defensively. “What? I’m just asking,” you say. “The bartender looks like he knows you.” You catch the bartender’s eyes and he quickly looks away. “Or at least enough to keep a tab open.”
“There’s not much to do around here,” he answers.
You fill your cheeks with air and let it slowly blow out through pursed lips. There's plenty to do- sort of. Minus the drugs and sex, most of Hell's greatest features are stuck in other rings. “There’s the Cannibal Sector,” you offer. “You gotta be careful but Rosie is nice and she sells pretty things. I have this hairpin in the shape of a human hand.” Adam gives you a look. “It might be a real hand, huh.”
“The fuck are you even doing out of your castle.”
You deflate. “Rough night,” you say with a sigh. “What about you?”
“Rough night,” he answers
You nod in solidarity. “I’m not usually a drinker,” you confess. “The taste is a bit too bitter for my liking. But being at the castle just wasn’t-” it’s not for you, the pampered life, acting as a placeholder, the King- “I didn’t want to be there.”
When Adam fails to say anything else, you feel embarrassed to even say something like that to the former angel beside you. He wouldn’t care. He shouldn’t care. Why would he ever worry himself over the likes of you, when your supposed partner couldn’t. He sniffs, and places the bottle down. It’s nearly empty. 
“Where do you want to be then?” His eyes are still golden, unblinking as he stares. 
Gold meets your own eyes, and you flicker to the horns over his head, curling overhead much like his former exorcist mask. You look back at his eyes, at the way he holds the bottle loosely. “I don’t know,” you confess. 
There’s a moment of silence, and he finishes the last bit of alcohol. You wonder how many he usually drinks before he goes back home. “You wanna come over?” He asks, and there’s a shade darker that brushes against his cheeks, and he tries to ask nonchalantly, but he toys with the words, and he swallows too harshly for him to not be worried about your answer. As if he’s asking some forbidden question. But, you’re lonely, and you don’t want to be alone in a bar longer than you already have been. 
You look at the exit, half-hoping that Lucifer would be there, ready to take you to his home, and a part of you is glad that he isn’t there. You look back at Adam, and nod your head. “Lead the way,” you tell him.
The sound of the bartender yelling behind you about a tab, has you smiling, feeling as if you’re dining and dashing despite you having paid for your portion. Adam doesn’t seem to care, walking without breaking a stride, just waving his hand without looking back. 
It doesn’t take long before you’re climbing up steps that need to be looked at, rust falling off with each bounce. You’re sure that you can hear something unsavory going on in a room, but a whistle from Adam has you scurrying along. There’s no reason that you should know anything more than you already do. 
You enter his apartment, and take a careful look around. It’s messy- clothes strewn across, dishes left out, and you feel pity for him. A single couch is close enough to the rather small television, a coffee table that has paint chipping and dents is one of the few pieces of furniture in the rooms. A sliding door is closed, a few broken blinds giving you just a glimpse into the outside. “You certainly,” you pause, trying to find something nice to say, “have a place,” you end defeatedly. You stand near the door, clicking the lock into place, as if that would protect you from any dangers out in the world. Perhaps you should be worried about Adam, about the angel who would bear his fangs and be drenched in blood, too excited about senseless murder. But you catch him kicking things under the couch, trying to spruce up the place even if just by a smidge.
“Fuck you,” he says without conviction. He grabs at a pile of clothes and tosses it on top of a chair, leaving the couch clear for you and him to sit. Smiling softly, you take a seat. He places himself close to the arm rest, and watches as you look around. “I uh, I clean- sometimes.” He sounds unsure of himself.
“I like cleaning,” you tell him, grabbing at a magazine on the worn out coffee table. It’s some tabloid, and you see a snippet of you and Lucifer in the corner. You turn to the page where you two are supposed to be. It’s titled as “Issues at Home?” You frown, and turn to another page. “I like organizing and stuff. Um, it helps uh, Lucifer. He does a lot of projects.”
“You don’t got any?”
“I have hobbies, but they come and go.” Your eyes skim the page, talking about Velvette’s new clothing line. You pull your lips into a thin line, a part of you wants to wear her outfits, but you aren’t sure you could pull them off. “It’s all just-” you flutter a hand in the air- “you know, stuff.” You place the magazine back on the table. “What about you?”
He smiles and leans back on the couch, the cushion creasing under his weight. “I like to play the guitar.” You perk at the mention, and watch as he rests his hands over his stomach. “I was in a band. Played the guitar, got all the chicks that I wanted.”
“Were you good at the guitar?”
He nods his head. “Oh, you should’ve fucking seen me. I was like a fucking god on stage.” He holds his hands out and mimics a guitar. You huff out a laugh, and watch as he lets his hands fall. “I got to fuck whoever I wanted. And I mean, who wouldn’t want to fuck me? Look at me.” he tosses you a lazy look, matched with a sly smile, and you can see how people would be attracted to him. “I was the first dick– of course, everyone wanted me.”
“What songs would you perform?”
“Rock mostly.” He scratches the back of his neck. “Crowd went wild.”
“You’d perform in heaven?”
He shrugs. “Most of the time. If I felt bold, sometimes the band and I would do a show on Earth. I’m telling you humans would just throw themselves at you, begging to be fucked in some grimy ass restroom.”
You scrunch your nose. “Sounds gross.”
“It was,” he says with a faltering smile. He cocks his head to the side, and there’s a softness to his words. “Gross as shit, but the girls were hot.” 
You cross your ankles together, and turn to face him. Your arm cushions itself between the couch and your head to watch him. “Do you not play anymore?” you ask hesitantly,
He sucks on his bottom lip, teething at the skin, before letting it go. “I haven’t tried to summon my harp- guitar- shit, thing, since I’ve been here.” He closes his hands into a loose fist and kicks his legs up on the beaten coffee table. “There’s this pawn shop a few streets down, and they have this guitar for sale.”
“Are you thinking about buying it?”
“I have other shit to worry about.” He gives you a look, a fleeting sense of  exhaustion and acceptance that washes over him, that makes him feel a bit more real, a bit more like you. “It isn’t even that good.” He sounds like a child, trying to justify something to themselves. “It’s beat up, and the strings are probably worn-” he shakes his head- “it's not worth it.” You open your mouth to reassure him that it probably is worth it. That despite the condition that it’s in and the price for it, if he wants it, it's worth it. Even if he could never play it, even if it’ll never be restored to its original beauty, it would be his. You only manage to suck in a gulp of air, when a knocking at the balcony door grabs your attention. “Some fucking bird that keeps bothering me.” He looks over at you, and glances back to the door, and back at you. “I have a balcony. Wanna sit outside?”
You nod quickly, closing your mouth. “Yeah.” 
He walks past the door, and leaves it open for you. Just like when you entered, you close the door behind you, half-heartedly hoping that it won’t lock behind you. His balcony holds two chairs- both different kinds and both equally as rough looking. A part of you wonders where exactly he got this furniture. There’s a dying plant shoved in the corner, the leaves brown and stem wilting under the weight of the dying leaves. 
“Quit judging,” he snips. 
You scoff, a smile teasing at the corner of your lips. The air of Hell is cool, wind breezing over your skin and you stare down into the streets, watching as Imps and Sinners live their lives, peacefully uninterrupted. Sitting down, your breath hitches when the chair dips under your weight. It’s quiet between the two of you, silence in each other’s company where you both just stare at the world in front of you. 
You can see the holy light from the embassy, and you can see Heaven’s light- the rings that are protected by wings. It lights up the night sky far better than the pentagram ever has, and sitting under the light of it, makes you wonder if anything is different in Heaven since Adam’s death- or rather, reincarnation. “Do you miss Heaven?” You ask, before you can register the weight of the words that it holds. You turn to him, almost scared of any answer that he would give.
“That’s a stupid question,” he spits out. You don’t respond, and you stay looking at him. He turns his head to avoid your gaze, his legs stretching out in front of him. After a beat of silence, he looks ahead of him. “Yeah,” he breathes out. “I do.”
“What do you miss about it?”
“Full of fucking questions, aren’t ya?” He stays silent, and after a moment, he lets out a soft sigh. “Everything.”
“There’s not many stories about Heaven down here. You know, minus the ones that we all know. The golden gates-”
“Pearly gates,” he corrects. You look at him, and he has his eyes casted down. “They’re pearly.”
“The pearly gates,” you correct, “the clouds, the happiness and peace. I just- Other than that, there’s nothing else to go off of. But I guess, why would I know. Heaven seems so far away, like some mythical place.”
“Your boyfriend doesn’t talk about it?” Adam asks with a sneer.
“No,” you answer without hesitation. “He doesn’t like talking about Heaven. Sometimes-” you lick your lips- “Sometimes it feels like he hates everything and everyone down here. Like he can’t stand the idea that he’s stuck here.” You scratch your neck, and pinch your legs together. “It’s like the memories of Heaven are too painful.”
“That magazine said y’all were breaking up.”
“Maybe,” you answer.
“You can talk about it if you want. Would make this night a helluva lot more interesting.” You look at him. “I’m all ears.”
“And horns,” you tease.
“Fuck you,” he says with an impish tone.
You smile, and kick out your legs. Your phone buzzes, and with hope, you believe that it’ll be Lucifer. Your heart sinks when it’s only a notification from Sinstagram. With a frown, you silence your phone. “In the beginning, it was easy to forget that he was married. I mean, I always knew. He has her portraits hanging, and he talks about Charlie constantly.” You smile bitterly and scratch at your phone case. “I don’t blame him for that, but-” you shrug- “it hurts knowing that he still clings to her.” When Adam stays silent, you continue. “He can be kind- real attentive and sweet. But sometimes, when he’s had a uh-” you struggle to find a word- “a bad day, he gets real low. And I hate to admit it, but he gets clingy and it’s nice to know that I can still serve him in some way.”  Your fingers pinch at the bridge of your nose, and you let your hand cover your mouth. “But then, there are moments, where it feels like he’s actually looking at me- where he’s just everything,” you say wistfully, your hand stretching out in front of you, clasping around the night air. You glance at Adam, who watches your hand as you pull it back to yourself. “Sorry, I uh, I didn’t mean to ramble.”
“So why’d you leave then?”
Perhaps you’d get a biased opinion- you’re aware of how Adam feels over Lucifer, and practically every other inhabitant of Hell. He thinks of himself above any other, his own pride being the very thing that made him unaware of Niffty running towards him. You chew on your lip, your hand scratching over your neck. You need to speak to someone. No one else at the hotel will ever give you a straight answer- or at least the answer that you want to hear.
With a sigh, you kick your legs out in front of you. “I like Lucifer.” You can feel his eyes on you. “But, sometimes,” you drag the word, and your body feels hot, “it’s like he’s not present in the relationship. He gives a lot, but he hardly ever asks for anything.”
There’s a pause. “What could you even give him?” he asks in sincerity. 
There’s a pang in your chest, wrapping tightly, threatening to crush your bones, and leaving you a battered and broken mess on Adam’s balcony. You can’t give him anything that he doesn’t want. He has his daughter, he had his wife, he has his title for better or for worse. All you can offer is a moment of content, and even then it seems that you can no longer do that.
You shrug your shoulders at an attempt of a weak answer. “I know that he’s still not over his wife. Or ex-wife. I'm not too sure of the title and I hate to ask. He gets all mopey and deflective.” You kick at the ground, and insecurity hugs you tightly, and drips into your words. “He stares at portraits of her, and well, it’s hard to compete with the literal Queen of Hell, when I’m just-” your jaw stiffens, and you look at the ground through blurring eyes- “me.” You stand in her shadow without even having met her. “Even when I dress up, I feel like a child playing pretend. I don’t- I’m not like her.” You’ve stared at her portraits that still hang in the palace, and they consume you. Her smile, her delicate hands, and the elegance that is so evident in portraits.  It feels childish to compare yourself to someone so regal and poised. 
“Yeah,” he sighs. “My ex was pretty hot.” Your eyes widen, and you turn to him. “They both were.” He lets out a sigh, and keeps his eyes fixed in front of him.
“Adam,” you squeak out. “I’m sorry.” You shake your head, blood rushing to your face, making your body uncomfortably warm. “I hadn’t meant- I didn’t mean to talk about her with you. I’m so sorry.”
“The fuck are you apologizing for?” He asks, eyes narrowed and mouth twisting to an ugly sneer.
You cross your arms over your chest, bringing them to an ‘X’ where your hands curve over your biceps. “It’s just that I’m talking about Lucifer and your ex-wife.” You frown when he gives you an ugly look. “I just- I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
He gives a shrug of his shoulders, his gaze still focused elsewhere. “Lucifer already talked shit about how he banged both of them. It's whatever.”
Your brows furrow, and you watch as Adam pats his pockets, fisting a hand into one of his pants pockets. He fishes out a pack of cigarettes, grabbing on and sticking the tan end of it into his mouth. He motions the carton at you, and you pull your mouth into a thin line. 
“If you're gonna bitch about smoking, you're one lame sinner.”
“Eve? He slept with Eve, too?”
“Oh shit.” The cigarette hangs between his teeth, until pulls it back into his mouth. “You didn't know.” He almost sounds apologetic. He grabs at a lighter and it takes a few clicks to light the white of the stick.
“He doesn't really talk about his sex life before me.” You slump further into yourself, your nails scratching over your skin. “It's in the past. I know I shouldn't be hurt over what he's chosen to share with me, but-” you toss your head back, and in the red sky, the stars are dim. “I don’t know. It just feels like another kick on a shitty night, ya know?”
“I’m shitty?” He almost sounds offended. 
“No, no” you shake your head. “If anything, you’re like the one good thing out of this night.”
“Yeah, well, you ain’t so bad yourself.” You turn to him, your head cocked to the side. “You got a nice body. If you weren’t stuck here, I would’ve bagged you already.” You stretch your lips thin, and Adam shrugs, blowing out a puff of smoke.  “You’re easy on the eyes.”
“Thanks Adam,” you say hesitantly. He holds out the cigarette towards you and you wave your hand. “I’m good.”
“So what now? You gonna go back to him?”
“I don’t even think he knows that I’m gone,” you say honestly. The confession makes you feel lighter than you thought it would. “It’s comfortable with him. It’s easy- I don’t have to worry about things, but, I also don’t have to worry about anything. And sometimes, I want to worry. I want him and I to argue about dumb shit, and I want to worry if he’s coming to bed or not, and not being resigned to the fact that I know he won’t.”
The silence is broken by the scraping of the chair, and you watch as he rises, stretching his arms above him, the cigarette pinched between his fingers. “Eve tolerated me,” he says quietly, letting out a breath of smoke. You look at him, biting at the inside of your cheeks. “She loved me for a while. She was devoted to me. But I uh- I’m pretty sure that was because she was made from me.” A hand cups over his side. “Blind loyalty or whatever. But when she bit that apple, whatever she felt for me was gone.” He speaks quietly, and slowly, as if the words and the thoughts of it were slowly piecing themselves together, a puzzle that he had long put away in order for it to never make sense. “She didn’t care what I did as long as I left her and the-'' someone below lets out a scream, and Adam turns to you, his face flashing a moment of vulnerability before he looks away and puts out the cigarette under his boot. “Well, Eve was Eve.” His brows soften, and he looks tired. “I didn’t tolerate her.”
“Meaning?” You ask quietly.
He shrugs. “I did love her. She had a part of me after all.” He looks over at you, and his hand tightens over his side, pulling at the fabric. “But that’s not important anymore.” He turns away, and walks back inside. You scurry after him, making sure to lock the balcony door behind you.
You stand awkwardly in the room, unsure of what to do next. Truth be told, you had planned to spend the night in some dingy motel if Adam hadn’t sat beside you. But now you’re here, in his dingy apartment, truths and insecurities laid out for the two of you to bear witness. A part of you wants to bid him goodnight, and maybe when you’d see him out in the streets, you’d give him a  cordial nod, and remember how he listened and talked about his ex-wife, and he’d remember you in positive light, despite you only being a mess of insecurities wrapped in sin. 
But now, you don’t want to leave. At least a part of you wants to continue this conversation, to keep the comfort wrapped tight around you. You tap your foot against the ground and Adam looks at you, his eyes staring at yours, unwavering from yours. You hadn’t realized just how powerful he stood beforehand. 
“You can stay if you want,” he says slowly, unsure of the words that he’s saying. “Take the couch or whatever,” he attempts to sound indifferent, but you can hear the sincerity in the words, uncomfortable, but sincere. “I got a spare blanket you can use.” His teeth are sharp, and they peek out to tease at his bottom lip.
“Really?” You ask, eyes wide and you take a step forward, and he looks away. “I can?”
His mouth thins into a grimace, and he gives a forced shrug. “Do whatever you want.”
You look at the couch. It wasn’t uncomfortable to sit on, but you’re sure you’ll wake up with a sore back. However, you don’t want to go back to Lucifer, and you don’t want to go to some dingy motel where you’re sure you’ll drink until you’re sick. Looking back at Adam, you nod, a smiling teasing at the corners of your lips, and he finally looks away from you.
“Yes!” You clear your throat. “Yes,” you say in a softer tone. “I’d like that. Thank you, Adam.”
“Whatever.” He walks into his bedroom, and you sit on the couch. He returns with a blanket, and he stands at the end of the couch, looking at you. “I’m not making you breakfast or anything. You gotta figure that shit out on your own.” You nod. The only real worry that you have is that your phone’s battery is at an uncomfortable percentage that you aren’t sure is going to last you.
“I hope Hell is nice for you.” He raises his brows at you. “It’s shitty and the smell of decay is always kinda there, but sometimes, it’s nice down here.”
“Hell is supposed to suck.”
“And it does,” you say with a shrug. “But not all the time, Ads.”
“Don’t call me that.” He tosses a blanket at you- it’s thin and threads have begun to unravel at the seams, but it’s soft. “I’m turning off the lights.”
“Goodnight,” you call out, holding the blanket close to you. You can only smile when the response is a closed door.  
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jjkamochoso · 5 days
Note
so like yesterday I went to a strawberry farm were you like pick strawberries and I was thinking how would the jjk men act or like what would they do. sorry if it's a dumb question😭
There is absolutely nothing dumb about this, it’s freaking adorable😭😭 thank you for entrusting me with this!! I hope you had lots of fun picking strawberries 🍓 and I hope you enjoy reading about picking strawberries with these silly lil men☺️🫶
Picking Strawberries with the JJK Men
Fluff
JJK men x gn!reader
Warnings: small mentions of bugs/insects
Yuji:
You and Yuji walked along the path, admiring the glow of the red berries surrounding you.
“This one looks really good,” Yuji said, bending over to pick a particularly plump strawberry. He grasped the stem and held it to your lips.
“Try it!” he encouraged, and you happily obliged, taking a big bite.
“That’s seriously delicious,” you complimented after eating the fruit. "Now let me find one for you."
You walked hand in hand with Yuji, scouring the ground until the perfect berry caught your attention. You held the stem while offering the rest to him, just like he had done for you. Yuji, being the menace he is, ate the whole thing in one swift bite.
“Is it yummy?" you asked, anxiously awaiting his reaction.
"It's delicious!" Yuji exclaimed, mouth full of half chewed strawberry. You wanted to be grossed out but the delight in his eyes was too adorable for you to think about how nasty it was that he was talking with his mouth full. He swallowed the fruit with a gulp, then wrapped you in a big bear hug.
"The strawberry was sweet, but you're sweeter."
Megumi:
“I really should’ve thought this through.”
You realized you ran out of hands when you went to pick a strawberry but couldn’t due to your grasp being occupied by both a basket and an umbrella to keep the sun from burning you. You switched gears, putting the basket on the ground and pulling strawberries from your now free hand, but the umbrella kept falling every which way. Megumi, meanwhile, was watching all of this unfold and trying his hardest not to laugh at your predicament.
“Here, let me help you,” he eventually said after watching you struggle for a bit. He was waiting to see if you were going to come up with a solution yourself but it certainly wasn’t happening any time soon and he didn’t want you to get too frustrated (no matter how cute he thinks you look when you’re grumpy). Megumi took the umbrella from your flailing hands and immediately you no longer felt like throwing it in a fit of rage.
“You’re a real lifesaver,” you said, getting an eye roll as a reply.
“That was too painful to keep watching without doing something.”
You narrowed your eyes and stuck your tongue out at him, going back to your berry picking. It was much easier now that Megumi strolled alongside you, one hand in his pocket and the other tightly wrapped around your umbrella, basking you in cool shade. He wouldn’t say it out loud but he was beyond relieved he could assist you, no matter how insignificant of a task.
Yuta:
You and Yuta happily strode along the strawberry bushes, hand in hand, and picking the ripest fruit to bring back home. Being ever the gentleman, Yuta held the heavy basket in his free hand while you were in charge of selecting the berries.
“This is, by far, the cutest date I’ve ever been on,” you confessed, a strawberry dangling by its stem in your grasp.
“O-oh, really? I’m really glad you’re having fun,” Yuta replied, a blush blooming on his face.
“Whats wrong, Yuta? You’re almost as red as this berry,” you teased with a giggle, taking a big bite of the fruit you picked a few seconds ago. That made the poor boy blush even more as he imagined what those plump lips of yours would feel like on his own rather than the strawberry.
“Yuta? Are you in there?” you asked. You had been waving your hand in front of his face but he was too busy staring at you to respond until now as he stuttered out an apology.
“It’s all good,” you told him, “you’re cute when you’re spaced out. My offer still stands if you want a bite of this strawberry though since you were practically gawking at it.”
“Yes! Right. The strawberry,” he stammered, “that’s exactly what I was looking at. You’re so right, it looks really good. Thank you.”
You held out the strawberry in question to feed it to him and Yuta felt his heart leap out of his chest—how did he get so lucky to date someone as sweet as you?
Inumaki:
“Strawberry.”
Your jaw dropped at the surprise introduction of a new word into your boyfriend’s vocabulary. You two decided to go on a date at a strawberry farm but the last thing you expected from today was to see Toge enthusiastically pointing his finger back and forth from you to the berries while repeating the word like some sort of incantation.
“I have a feeling you’re making a really good connection between these things but I don’t understand it,” you said tentatively, taking note of the giddiness that shone in Toge’s purple eyes. He quickly pulled out his phone, furiously typing out something in his notes app. When he showed you his screen, you felt like drowning the earth beneath your feet in tears:
Strawberry!! I can say it without hurting you!! That’s gonna be reserved for you only :)
“Toge,” you half whispered, your voice failing you from the love that was overwhelming you, “that means the world to me. Thank you.”
“Salmon,” he said, meaning “you’re welcome.” He then pulled you into a tight hug to show you how much he cared when words failed him. When you pulled apart, he showed you his phone screen one more time:
Also you’re both very sweet <3
Noritoshi:
It was nice to get away from all the hustle and bustle of your daily duties with your boyfriend Noritoshi. You knew he put a lot of pressure on himself 24/7 to be perfect in all facets of his life so you figured getting away to somewhere quiet and calm would do wonders for his mental health. Thankfully, you were correct. You’d never seen Noritoshi as relaxed as he was amongst the strawberries, softly smiling as he watched a bug climb along a vine. He leaned in closer to get a better view of nature at its core, deeply appreciating the simplicity of the outdoors.
“Y/n, look. It’s a ladybug,” he whispered, not wanting to disturb it. You scooted in closer as well to catch a glimpse but were quickly taken aback when the insect flew off the vine and landed on Noritoshi’s nose. He was extremely calm about the whole ordeal and you were delighted to see such an adorable scene unfold in front of you. His gray eyes were slightly crossed as he watched the ladybug in amusement, its speckled body tickling his smooth skin. As it started heading up his nose and toward his eyes, he put his finger out to block it, guiding the plump bug onto his outstretched digit.
“You know that means you’re going to be blessed with an abundance of luck, right?” you asked, heart instantly melting at the gentle gaze he held you under.
“With you in my life, I already knew I was the luckiest man alive.”
Todo:
You never knew what to expect from your boyfriend on a day to day basis so when he started spouting strawberry facts at you while you explored the grounds of the farm, you couldn’t say you were surprised.
“…strawberries today are a result of the cross between F. chiloensis and F. virginiana. Did you know strawberries are a type of rose? And they have more vitamin C than oranges.”
You listened intently to Aoi’s rambling, his arm slung easily over your shoulder in a display of his affection toward you. You were looking at him like he was speaking about the most important topic in the world and you were so proud of the fact that he was subverting expectations, being extremely strong and smart.
“Wow, Aoi, you’re so knowledgeable!” you exclaimed, “how did you learn all this?”
He just shrugged, shooting you a wink. “I’ll tell you if you let me walk you back home after this.”
You playfully nudged him on the shoulder. “We’re going back to the same place, dummy.”
A look of realization dawned on his face, replacing a concerning amount of shock. “You’re right, we are! I forgot!”
You grimaced, trying not to outwardly groan for the sake of being a patient partner.
“Don’t worry about it, handsome. Let’s just enjoy some strawberries, yeah?”
Aoi let out a triumphant laugh after kissing your cheek. “Sounds good to me!”
Ino:
Going to the strawberry farm with Ino was nothing short of a good time. You spent hours collecting only the finest berries, carting around heavy baskets and dreaming up all types of desserts you’d be making with your haul. You also spent a good chunk of that time eating the berries right off the vine and making each other share in the disgust of any surprisingly unripe berries you pulled.
“Babe! Here, this one’s straight up disgusting,” Ino said, thrusting a strawberry with a big bite chunk out of it your way. You took a bite and immediately made a face.
“Ew! That one was nasty! And to think it looked so good, too,” you whined, glaring at the rest of the deceptive glowing red skin.
“You wanna wash it down with a milkshake? They’re selling them at the front.”
“Please,” you said, nodding eagerly. Ino lazily threw his arm over your shoulder and you scooted in closer to your boyfriend as he guided you to a much needed sweet drink.
Gojo:
Satoru was watching you sit next to a strawberry plant with inquisitive eyes, his signature blindfold gone and in its place were sunglasses that reminded you of his yesteryears.
“I still don’t get why we have to pick the strawberries ourselves when we could’ve just gone to the store,” he questioned, bottom lip jutted in a pout.
“Because Satoru,” you said, giving him a kind smile, “it’s good to support local farms. And don’t you feel a sense of accomplishment picking them yourself rather than grabbing the first plastic container you see at a store?”
“I guess,” he said, reaching down to pick a strawberry off its plant before quickly retracting his hand. “The farmers should’ve cleaned up a bit before I came, though. The bugs and dirt are seriously grossing me out.”
The urge to roll your eyes was strong, but the love you had for Satoru was stronger so you refrained.
“Come over here and try this one. I made sure there weren’t any creepy crawlies on it that were out to get you.”
The white haired man didn’t pick up on your teasing, instead sending a solemn “thanks” your way. His long fingers hesitantly plucked a big, red strawberry from the vine.
“Go ahead, taste it,” you encouraged.
He did so, a look of pride overtaking his features.
“This is literally the best strawberry ever.”
“Wait, don’t eat the whole thing! I wanna try some,” you said. Your boyfriend extended a hand, helping you up from your place in the plants.
“I feel like a strawberry being pulled off the vine,” you joked, wiping the dirt off your pants.
“I really do know how to pick ‘em,” Satoru said, smirking.
Geto:
Suguru was the perfect man to take strawberry picking. He was in awe of the tranquility he felt somewhere like that, the peaceful atmosphere doing more to ground him than most anything he’d tried before. He eagerly picked two strawberries, feeding you one then taking a bite from the other for himself.
“I’m glad you’re here with me,” he said, brown eyes gazing lovingly into your own as the sun shone brightly over the two of you.
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be, my love,” you replied, your hand gently placed on his cheek. He nuzzled into your touch the slightest bit, not caring if any passerbys took notice of you. He could smell the sweet scent of strawberry on your breath as you closed in toward him, placing a delicate kiss upon his lips. You didn’t want to be indecent in public so you kept it chaste and though Suguru desperately wanted to kiss you passionately enough to make parents cover their children’s eyes (and maybe even their own), he showed restraint. When he eventually pulled away from your kiss, he took hold of your hand that laid on his cheek and placed little kisses on the pads of each finger—also smelling of the red berries you had spent hours hanging around.
Nanami:
When you told Kento you were in the mood to make a strawberry pie, but had no berries, he was quick to come up with the idea to pick fresh ones from the local farm. Now, here you were, baskets in hand, weaving through patches of ripe fruit.
"How's it going, Kento?"
"Well. I have about half a basket full. How about you, my love?"
He never failed to make your heart flutter with his sweet pet names and the syrupy way they fall off his tongue.
"About the same. I'm going to get a few more and then we should be done."
You bent down to gather more strawberries when a gust of wind suddenly picked up, taking your sunhat right from your head. You barely had time to react before it was placed gently back in its rightful place by none other than your boyfriend.
"Oh, Kento, thank you! That's my favorite hat, I would've been so sad if I lost it."
"Then it's a good thing I'd do anything to keep you happy, darling," Kento replied, a soft smile on his lips as he gazed at you like you were the sun and he was a berry plant, relishing in your warmth.
Choso:
Choso couldn’t contain the huge smile that appeared on his face when he saw the strawberry fields for the first time. It reminded him of the bygone era where many were farmers, a time that he and his brothers were born in but never got to experience outside of their glass cases.
“People still farm?” he asked, his voice laced with amazement and his brown eyes glossing over the never ending rows of ripe fruit in front of you.
“Yep! Isn’t so neat how much society has changed over a hundred and fifty years, yet stayed the same?” you questioned, Choso nodding in a quiet bout of deep thought. You grabbed a few baskets and began filling them with berries, working diligently in comfortable silence.
“We should grow a garden,” Choso eventually piped up, taking a bite from a strawberry he couldn’t resist the temptation of.
You felt a smile settle on your own face. “Really? You’d want to do that with me?”
“Of course. I’d much rather go out to my yard than a store for fruits,” he replied, taking a break from berry gathering to look you deeply in your eyes, “and there’s symbolism in the whole thing, too. What’s mine is yours, cultivating life together… it’s all strangely…” He faltered.
“Domestic.”
“Domestic. Exactly.” He reached for your hand and you gladly let him take it, fresh strawberry juice from his fingers leaving a bright red stain on your skin.
Toji:
The sun was beating down on you and you were exhausted after a long day of strawberry picking. Taking a seat on the ground, you felt relief flow through your legs as you gave them a rest.
“You’re getting absolutely filthy,” said Toji, scrunching his face as he looked at you with something akin to disgust. “Get up. You’re not a baby.”
“I’m your baby,” you teased, earning an eye roll from your boyfriend. “Besides, I’m tired and it’s a long walk back to the car. It’s either this or you carry me back.”
With one fell swoop, you were off the ground and in the strong arms of the muscled man.
"You're insufferable, you know that?" Toji grumbled, but he wasn't the least bit upset at having you so close to him.
“I do,” you said, cheekily planting a kiss on his exposed bicep.
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dunmeshistash · 11 days
Note
Hello! I would like to start off by saying that I love your blog- your dedication to keeping this archive is admirable and it's really made it easier me to get into and learn about Dungeon Meshi and its brilliant world building! ( ´∀`) I would like to ask, do you know why Chilchuck is always mistaken for being a child? I know it's due to his appearance, however other races' appearances aren't treated in the same way (at least not from what I've noticed). I'd assume that half-foots are common and the average person could tell the difference between one and a child in the dunmesh universe. Is it that half-foots are not as common as say, tallmen or elves? Maybe there is ignorance surrounding their race or some form of discrimination? Maybe I'm looking too deep into things or missed something, but it's always bothered me a little. I hope this isn't a dumb question haha, have a good day/night :>
Thank you! Theres no dumb questions! Especially if its about dungeon meshi <3
Tallmen are the most widespread race in the dungeon meshi world, while half-foots are only natives in some areas, so most races assume half-foots are tallmen children, that's what happened to senshi that didn't know much about half-foots
tallmen
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half-foots
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Heres a comparisson between a half-foot and a tallmen kid which I think looks cool
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Half-foots have longer limbs bigger ears and look older but if you don't pay attention you might assume they're the same age
There's also the thing they aren't really respected, so I'm sure most people don't bother learning to recognize them and just treat them as kids
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aothotties · 7 months
Text
How they help you get over someone
| Eren | Armin | Reiner | Jean|
Word count: 1016
Warnings: Levi is in his 30s, car sex, mating press, pet names (mama), squirting, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex.
“But i just feel so dumb, im literally so stupid” you huffed to your gym buddy, Levi as you spotted him.
He finished his set then sat up and turned towards you 
“Y/N, you're so young. You're going to make mistakes plus you're a girl. No ones mad at you for believing what he said to you and having sex with him” he said plainly 
You always vented to Levi when you were upset and he always found a way to give you great advice and help you through everything. Him being older made it easier to trust him because you felt like he was grown grown and had it all together
“I'm mad at myself. I feel like I'm too old to still fall for the same bullshit I fell for in highschool. Were you like me at my age?” you stated as tears threatened to spill from your eyes
“ I was worse” , he responded, “don't feel bad about it. Its a normal thing for you to be upset that he fucked you then never spoke to you again, youre not the problem. Any woman, no matter what age, would be upset about that. I mean there's some succubuses out there that just smash everyone and don't feel a thing, but most women aren't like that”
You couldn't lie, levi always reassured you and made you feel better about making regular human choices and never allowed you to beat yourself up for making mistakes
You both finished your workout and left the gym. He walked out next to you and made sure you were safe in the parking lot because it was late at night. You stopped at the car and he pulled you into a hug
“You'll be alright, mama. Don't be so hard on yourself” he said and you buried your face in his chest and began to cry 
Even though his words made you feel better you were still sad. He rubbed your back and let you get it all out and refused to let go until you finished crying
You pulled away and wiped your tears on your shirt
“Thank you, i really appreciate you, Levi” you said to him once you composed yourself
“Dont worry about it, i'm always here if you need me” he responded.
You stared up at him completely enamored. You had the strongest feelings for him and had them for a while. You tried sleeping with that other guy thinking it would help you get over him but it clearly didn't work. You just ended up sad and crying in his arms which strengthened your feelings. You were convinced Levi didn't feel the same and you were too sacred to say anything in fear that it would ruin the friendship you have
“Aye aren't you glad you asked me to be your gym partner”, he said trying to change the subject
“yeah , i guess” you laughed as you responded 
“You guess? You know you wanted to be like me, that's why you approached me and asked for my help” he nudged you a little bit as he teased 
“That definitely not the reason i approached you but yeah let's go with that” you told on yourself before you even had the chance to realize it
He looked down at you and smirked as he nodded, “ yeah i know”
He confirmed in that moment that he knew exactly how you felt about him and apparently he felt the same because he grabbed you by your wrist and pulled you towards his car
Levi drove a nice white tesla and you had been dying to see the inside 
He had you in the back seat folded completely in half as he pressed his weight onto you 
His dick was reaching so far inside you that your mind went blank. All you could do was moan his name while he fucked you at a steady pace.
Sweat rolled down his abs as he was sliding in and out of your dripping wet pussy. He was mesmerized by the way you were sucking him in. He was also taken aback at how good your body looked folded under him.
Sometimes at the gym he would make slick comments about your ass but you never realized it was his way of telling you he felt the same.
“Fuck Levi, r-right there. Im gonna cum baby” you whined as you grabbed his biceps 
His pace didn't change and he continued to fuck you all the way to your peak
“Mmhmm mama, cum for me” he said as he watched your face contort in pleasure
Your high flooded over you and you came hard all over his thick cock. You felt bad that you squirted on his perfectly clean seats but he couldn't care less. He wanted to see you cum for him over and over again and didn't care about what happened to his car.
He never let up and kept going until you came for him multiple times. Each time you came a mantra of praises left his lips. 
His pace became more erratic as he came close to his climax. You could feel his dick throbbing inside you as he was about to cum
“ gonna cum inside you mama, f-fill you up real good” he stated between deep grunts
He slammed into you hard one last time then you felt as his hot thick cum spilled inside you. He slid out and watched as it pooled out of you but he quickly pushed it back in with his fingers.
You both threw your clothes on and you stepped out of his car and wobbled as you tried to stand up straight. He laughed at you and shook his head. He put his arm around you and walked you to your car 
He leaned down and pressed a kiss on your forehead 
“Best cardio i've ever done” he stated as he opened the door for you 
You hopped in your car and deleted the other guy's number knowing damn well he did not match up to Levi in any way.
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yawntutsyip · 1 year
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Avatar The Way Of Water x Deaf!Human Reader:
italics = sign
warnings: she/her pronouns, some cussing, bad writing 😔
an: idk if I hate it or somewhat like it. We shall see what happens… if people actually like this then I’ll make chapter two, if not then let’s just say this was a oneshot Lmao
Silence | Chapter One
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Silence, if you had to describe your world to someone in one word, that’s what you would tell them because that's all it ever was. Sure you had some hearing growing up in your younger years. It was mostly muffled though like you were underwater but you did your best to make out as much as you could, but each day it had gotten worse, and the next thing you know, by the time you turned nine your hearing completely vanished.
When people say you should cherish things, don't take things for granted, and be grateful for what you have, you really should. Of course being a child that saying went over your head as you didn’t think much of it but now you wish you had listened to the wise words as you find yourself longing to hear your mother's voice, or the littlest things like the clicks of equipment from the lab or the buzzing from the fluorescent lights, one last time. Now, being sixteen years old, you could hardly remember what they sound like as it turned into a distant memory, all a blur.
Growing up your mother taught you sign language so it was easier to communicate than having to read someone’s lips. It was difficult at first as you had to learn to differentiate whether the person was speaking English or the Na’vi language but you managed. 
Your mother was great friends with Neytiri and Jake despite Neytiris hatred for humans. Neytiri had a soft spot for you and your mother. You grew up along the side of the Sully kids and Spider, , you always had one of them along your side, as you weren’t allowed outside the lab alone due to Pandora's dangerous nature, they were all very overprotective of you, sometimes it got annoying but you understood why.
It was always surprisingly Lo’ak. He always took you on his adventures through the forest, exploring and finding new hang-out places. Sometimes Lo’ak could be forgetful as there were times where, when he had taken you out with him and he calls your name to get your attention, but when he receives no response it clicks back into him as he says ‘oh yeah, she can’t hear me at all duh’
When you turn around to look at him you find him hunched over with his hands on his knees as he laughs at his dumbness. You cock your head to the side as if questioning ‘what are you laughing at?’ and roll your eyes as he signs to you that he forgot you were deaf for a second. It concerned you sometimes that you were relying on this boy for protection. 
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Right now you, Spider, and the Sully siblings minus Neteyam were all in the forest following Lo’ak to wherever he was going hand in hand with Tuk. You and Tuk stop for a second and crouch down touching the plant that had caught your eyes, you smile as the leaves stick to your hands, You look at Tuk and could see a smile on her face as well as she playing with it but soon pulls away standing up tugging you along. 
A frown finds its way on your lips as you look back at the plant while getting dragged away. You wanted to look at it for longer. You soon all come to a stop as Lo’ak turns around saying something you couldn't quite make out, You look at Kiri and she quickly signs to you what was said. 
Looking back at Tuk you see her sticking her tongue out at Lo’ak while pouting, You giggle at her childish antics before you all continue back to where you were going. Finally reaching the spot the boys and Tuk go and climb up to wherever it was as you stayed behind with Kiri, Both of you laying in the grass next to each other. These are the times you wished you could have your hearing back, you closed your eyes and tried your best to imagine what kind of sounds could have been heard although there wasn't much to imagine as you hardly went outside of the lab so you didn't know what sounds there were in the beginning. The breeze from the air and the light shining down on you paired with the quietness eased your mind as you found yourself drifting off.
A little later you found yourself and Kiri getting woken up by a spider by his light shaking. 
‘Have go back’ Spider signed to you the best he could with the little knowledge of sign he had, you still understood what he was saying as you nod your head and stand up following them out, leaving to go back.
Coming to a halt once again, Lo’ak jumps off the large branch you were all walking on and crouches down to the dirt where laid a footprint. ‘Is it an avatar’s?’ You sign to Lo’ak while crouching down next to him to get a closer look.
“Maybe…” he said out loud while signing at the same time. You turned your head to look at Kiri with your brows frowning with worry written on your face, Kiri could only smile at you while signing ‘It will be okay’ as she pats your shoulder. 
You watch as Lo’ak and Spider continue to move forward and you all follow. Lo’ak quickly turns his head back and looks at you while bringing a finger to his lips, blush creeps up on your face in embarrassment as you bring a fist to your chest and move it in circular motions ‘Sorry!’
Crouching down hiding in the grass you all stalk forward, looking up ahead you could see the old shack and what seemed to be Avatar’s walking around with guns. ‘Are they from the lab?’
You ask Lo’ak who was crouched behind you. ‘I don’t think so’ he shakes his head, eyes still ahead.
“I better call this in,” Lo’ak says while walking back grabbing your arm to follow. 
“No bro! We're gonna get in trouble!” Spider says in a hushed voice following you guys. You guys all move behind some trees as Lo’ak reaches to his neck about to press the button, You watch as he hesitates for a second. He did not want to get in trouble for the second time with his dad but he knew that he had to, this was important. You give him a reassuring nod with a hand on his arm as if saying it's okay.
“I got eyes on some guys. They look like avatars..but they’re in full camo and carrying ARs. There are six of them. Over.” You move your attention back to the avatar’s ahead as you watch them go through the old shack and look around as if they were trying to find something, but what was it?
“We're at the old shack.” 
“Who’s we?” 
“Me, Spider, Kiri…Tuk…and (Y/N)” Lo’ak hesitates to bring up the fact that he had you and Tuk with him in such a dangerous position. 
“Son, You listen to me very carefully. Pull back right now. Do not make a sound. Especially (Y/N). Get the hell out of there. Move. Copy?” 
“Yes sir.” 
A tap on your shoulder pulls your vision away as Lo’ak grabs your arm again picking you up in his arms and catching you off guard. You look up ‘What are you doing?’ he ignored you as he was too focused on getting out of there. He was not gonna take his chances of you accidentally stepping on a stick and blowing everyone's cover.
Not even a second later an Avatar pops out from the bushes and grabs a hold of Tuk. Lo’ak quickly sets you down pushing you behind him as he pulls out his bow and points it at the many Avatar that appeared out of nowhere.
What is going on? You ask yourself as you swing your head back and forth looking in all directions to see that you all were surrounded. Although to everyone else there was loud screaming at each other and Tuk screaming, to you there was nothing. You could only watch as their lips moved, you tried your best to make out what they were saying but they weren’t pronouncing the words properly so you couldn’t tell.
One by one you all got grabbed by one of them, You tried backing up away only to feel someone harshly grab your arms pinning them behind you, you scream at the unknown hands as you struggled in fear. Lo’ak and Kiri were shouting at you to stop struggling hoping somehow you would hear them but of course, you don’t. You soon find yourself knocked down with a swift kick to your knees and pinned down to the ground on your stomach, freezing up as you feel a cold metal being pushed against the back of your head.
“Don’t hurt her!” Spider and Lo’ak shout out.
You felt useless as all you could see was the dirt ground beneath you, not knowing what was going on with your friends. Were they okay? Hell were they even alive? All you know is they could have been shot already and you wouldn't have a clue.
Quaritch signals to the man holding you to pull you up, you frantically look around checking to make sure everyone is okay before looking back at the man who stood in front of you.
“Two humans with the Na’vi? What's your guy's name?” 
You saw his lips moving but couldn’t make out what he was saying so you turned to Spider.
“Hey!, Sweetheart, I asked for your name!” He shouted at you again, grabbing your face in his hands, and bringing it forward. The grab from his hand hurt as it grew tighter when you tried pulling away. You gave him a glare and spat on his face, watching as he furiously wiped it off with the back of his hand.
“She can’t hear you, dumbass! She’s deaf! She doesn’t know what you are saying!” Spider shouts at the man gaining his attention. Quaritch gives you one last look before shoving your face away and moving to Spider. You watch with a glare as they talk for a moment before you all get dragged to follow wherever they are walking before once again being pushed down, now with hands cuffed together.
It had gotten dark as the eclipse happened, feeling droplets of water fall on your skin as it began to rain. You were so lost while all this was happening, not knowing what was going on, who these people were, What they were gonna do with you and your friends. You were scared. 
You wished you had just stayed back at the labs, where your mother was, probably worrying about where you were right now. Were you even gonna make it back to her? You watch as everyone's ears perk up meaning they heard something. You look at Lo’ak who was beside you. He looked down at his hands signaling you to follow and watch as he signed one word
‘Mom’
Looking back up you nod your head before looking away hoping no one saw what he signed.
Your back was turned from everyone else, you stood still not moving as you could feel the gun against your back so you were unaware of all the commotion that was happening, but you could feel the person behind you leave. You still stood there not trying to take chances.
The feeling of someone grabbing your hand startles you as you turn your head and realize that it was just Tuk, Eyes widening as you watch guns being fired, and a yellow gas releasing everywhere. “We have to go! Come on!” Tuk says to you, this time you were able to tell what she said and follow behind her as she ran, Lo’ak tailing right behind you.
You all kept running, your breathing became heavy as you weren't used to this much moving as you usually just stayed in the lab or at the most, walked around the forest, You kept looking back checking if anyone was following, not paying attention to what was in front of you, running into someone's chest. 
You let out a scream, scared of it being one of the Avatars from earlier that had caught you but your face was pulled up to meet a familiar face in front of you telling you to calm down while placing a hand over your mouth to silence your screams but removes it as you quiet down realizing it was just Neteyam. 
Your tense shoulders drop as you bury your face in his torso letting out breaths of relief. Oh, thank Eywa you are safe now. 
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