#my old roommate never officially lived there but they still were able to dump a lot of trash off there and never got hit with anything

[yoshistory]

-___- i need to find a bookshelf thats been thrown out again .. theres no good trash here .. there's GREAT trash next door and i thiiiiiink enough time has passed that i feel comfortable walking over there sometimes and scouring their dumpsters every once in awhile

[jilytho]

and they were roomates

Jily/Marauders roomate thing just for fun. Happy Jilytober!!!! 

Read below or on AO3 of FFNT

Moving in together had always been the plan. The Marauders, out in the real world. Throughout Uni they were always forced to split up into different apartments in groups of two, usually ending with Sirius and James in one apartment and Remus and Peter sharing one down the hall. Remus insisted it be that way because he insisted he wouldn’t be able to focus on schoolwork if he had to deal with his idiot of a boyfriend 24hours a day but separate apartments in no way made them spend any less time together. James swears he spent more nights on the floor of Remus and Peter’s kitchen than in his bed. Still, once they were done with school and off in the Real World having an apartment for all of them to live in was the ultimate goal. 

They set out to look for a spot that was nice enough to fit the bizarrely high standards of Sirius, while still not breaking the bank for Remus or Peter who insisted on paying their own way without any help. 

It was Remus who ended up finding their place, somewhat dodgy area of town but right down the street from his favorite Thai takeout place, three coffeeshops with adequate reading vibes within a four block radius, and a seven minute commute for Remus to get to the lab everyday. 14C was a once cute three bedroom apartment now covered in years of dust and grime and now officially theirs.

Sirius and Remus claimed the master with its very own ensuite so James could stop having to pick Sirius’s hair out of the shower. It wasn’t a perfect set up but they all found ways to mesh together and make it just right and just theirs. Peter was immediately made interior designer and found a couch and two armchairs off of craigslist so that they could stop sitting on the floor in front of the TV. James was in charge of the kitchen and bought real utensils and bowls so Sirius would stop pouring his cereal onto frisbees. Remus developed his very own homemade cleaner filled with bleach and alcohol and was likely poison in a bottle but it somehow made the beige counters white and sparkling. 

Technically James and Sirius were the only names actually on the lease, a Sirius suggestion, so that if they were ever late on rent it wouldn’t impact the credit Remus had spent so long building up. It had the added benefit of Peter and Remus not having to worry if their paycheck was being delayed and they had to pay Sirius or James a few days late because the boys were always good for it. 

Being adults in the real world never stopped any of them from still behaving like children. Sirius refused to take out the trash so James took to dumping the trash on his head while he was sleeping, and accidentally got day old noodles onto Remus’ pillow. They broke two TVs during two separate games of indoor football and Peter was a world class baker but was the worst at cleaning in the whole flat and left flour everywhere, constantly. But still, they were happy. They ate dinner together almost every night and had movie nights on Thursdays. Peter and James invested in heavy duty ear plugs within three weeks of moving in and realizing just how thin the walls were. 

After a full year of making Apartment 14C home, the lease was up they unanimously decided to resign because this was their place. But then one day they wake up to find that Pete has his bags packed and is all “I got a job across the country bye”. They want to fight him and Remus, always the logical one, brings up that they literally just signed for a whole year and are only 20 days into this new lease. And Peter, the little slimy rat, smirked and said “Not my name on the lease, not my problem” and just left. 

They learn from Facebook that he was working for some politician that stands for everything the boys do not. The kind of politician who would actively root against the happiness and togetherness of Sirius and Remus. Once they learn that, they are officially done missing him. 

At some time in the middle of the night all the pictures that Peter was in from school are mysteriously replaced with pictures of James’s cat. 

Sirius wants to keep He-Who-We-Do-Not-Talk-About’s bedroom empty and make it into a yoga studio/library combo but Remus says that it's ridiculous to pay that much extra in rent and he refuses to let Sirius pay for the room and so the roommate hunt begins. 

Everyone they met with was either too sweaty or too loud or was great on paper but had a super distinct death like scent so the room sat empty for almost a full month. James was content to let it stay that way and just keep finding reasons because it was good with just the three of them. They weren’t the same and James was sometimes a third wheel but these were his brothers, he didn’t need anyone else. 

It stays empty until one day, Remus comes home from work one day saying that he has a friend from class, a nice well mannered and smart girl who would pay her rent on time but is in urgent need of getting off of her sister and terrible brother in laws couch before she “sets it and the house on fire”. Sirius isn’t sure he wants someone willing to commit arson moving in across the hall from him but a quick look from Remus shut him up and he was suddenly all for the mystery girl coming in. Remus said she would be moving in in three hours and would James be available to help her carry in her bags? James felt slighted that he wasn’t even given a vote or a chance to meet the girl, but that was mostly because despite Peter leaving and betraying them, James is loyal to a fault and still saw the room as Pete’s room and Pete’s stool in the kitchen despite the fact that the lying bastard just took off with no warning and changed his phone number and was a traitorous little bastard. Still, he couldn’t argue the point too much or he’d look stupid so fine, let the new girl move in but “Remus I swear, make it clear that this is just temporary until she figures it out and we find someone else we can all agree on”. He decided he just wouldn’t hang out with the new girl. They’d be apartment mates but they wouldn’t be friends.

She shows up with seven boxes and three bottles of wine to her name. James’s mouth is full of pasta when she introduces herself to him and he is so startled by the green of her eyes that he swallows without chewing and starts hacking noodles up while waving hello as she watches, green eyes wide with concern and amusement, hand still held out to shake. 

The first week after she moves in, he avoids her like the plague. He mentally insists that he has no need to get to know her because this is just temporary and she is going to find a new place and it doesn't matter how green her eyes are if he just doesn’t look at them. 

By the start of the second week, it stopped mattering if he didn’t directly interact with her because she was still everywhere. The living room was transformed from a bare bones TV and couch room to completely cozy with scented candles and fuzzy blankets and fun, colorful throw pillows that James instantly became obsessed with. He couldn’t lie and say he didn’t love the lemon scented soap in the kitchen or how she always made sure there was coffee in the pot for him or how the scent of her rose body wash somehow fills the whole apartment everytime she showers and is amazing or how the whole apartment just felt warmer and better now that she was there. 

He stopped getting surprised when she found ways to just fit with them. He always thought Peter worked well with them, they were brothers of course, but now he couldn’t help feeling like Peter had been a square peg squeezing into a circle hole. He fit but it was also just a little tight or tense or unequal. Lily, on the other hand, clicked in just right. She was instantly just one of them, even before James had accepted it. On her 10th day of living with them (a celebration Sirius insisted required an ice cream cake) all reservations about her completely imploded because there was no arguing that she belonged with them and they belonged with her. When he woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, he wasn’t at all shocked to find her and Remus reviewing chemical formulas at 3am on a Tuesday. Like of course they were, why wouldn't they be. It felt even less surprising that he just walked himself over and sat on the ground in front of her and stole her flashcards so he could quiz them both. It felt only natural when he saw her and Sirius getting ready to go to spin class together, even though Sirius never brings James to spin class with him anymore because of the one time he fell off his bike and caused a ruckus. He’s barely even confused when he ends up at a sunrise yoga class with her even though he had never been awake to see sunrise a day in his life. He’s even less surprised to learn that he enjoyed it immensely and had never been so happy to be up that early. He tells himself that it's just the impact of the yoga that he is in such a good mood but knows it has a lot more to do with the laughing goddess in the downward dog next to him. 

They get glared at all through the class because he keeps whispering things to her and making her giggle and then he becomes so transfixed by her laugh that he loses his balance and falls out of his pose, almost toppling the woman next to him. She laughs so hard her face matches her hair and giggles every time she looks at him for the rest of class. 

And then it’s Sunday and Blokes Brunch easily becomes “Lily, let’s go time for brunch” and when she pops the champagne (which had always been James’s job but he couldn't’ even fight her properly for it) he sees the sparkle in her eyes so much clearer than the sparkle in the drink and he lets himself actually see her and oh my god did she look good.

It still hurts when they see a picture of Peter on facebook or in Snapchat memories but slowly their memories start to fill up with green eyes and red hair and lovely smiles. It is no surprise when just the suggestion of her moving out became criminal. It was no surprise to any of them except for James when she stopped sleeping in her room and started sleeping across the hall with James. None of it was how the Marauders expected their lives to be at all but there was also more joy and warmth and love than any of them could have ever predicted. 

[fantastic-bby]

Business Is Business - Mafia AU

Chapter 1

Word count: 5k

Warnings: Mafia involvement, murder, suicide, self harm, violence

Chap.2 || Chap.3 || Chap.4 || Chap.5 ||

Their breaths came out as fogs as they walked through the streets of Seoul. His hands were full of bags as he tried to keep up with his sister, his whines never ceasing to how she was making him carry all the bags. 

“Hyun Jae, why can’t you carry any of the bags?” He whined out. Hyun Jae turned around to him, walking backwards, and lifted the tiniest of the bags that was in her hand as well as her clutch in her other,

“My hands are full, Hongjoong. Sorry.” She snickered at him before turning back around. He let out a groan, the sound of the bags dropping to the floor making her stop her footsteps and turn around to face him. 

“Why did we buy so much shit again? It’s not like we’re going to stay in that apartment often anyway.” He grumbled as he looked at the amount of bags that were sitting on the pavement. 

“Most of it is either food or your stuff.” She shrugged, finally helping him to carry some of the bags, “Four of these bags are from the music store and only one of them is mine.” Hongjoong stretched his back, 

“God, I feel like an old man.” He let out another groan, a small crack coming from his back before peeking into the bags, “The heavier bags are the ones filled with things you bought from Typo and Miniso.” He said to her matter-of-factly. Hyun Jae stuck her tongue out at him, putting down one of the bags and picking up one of the lighter ones, 

“I was about to carry a heavy bag but now you carry all the heavy bags.” She turned on the heel of her boot and started walking. He quickly picked up the bags and jogged to keep up with her. 

“Yah! Kim Hyun Jae!” He called out with a sigh as he chased after her. 

“We’re almost at the train station so you’ll be able to rest.” She said as she pulled one of the bags from his hands, the softer side she had for her brother starting to show as they approached the entrance to the train station. 

They made their way down and into the station, stepping into the train. They were lucky there were two empty seats right as they stepped in and Hongjoong quickly sat down and dumped the bags on the floor with a sigh. Hyun Jae took a seat beside him and watched as he stretched. 

“My entire body is going to ache so bad tomorrow. Why did we go shopping a day before dance practice?” He groaned, finally relaxing in the plastic seat of the train. “I’m just glad we’re going home.” He leaned his head back against the glass as Hyun Jae pulled her phone out of her poofy winter jacket, her eyes widening and her lips parted slightly. 

“Joong,” She held her phone up in front of his face, his eyes widening at the sudden action. His wide eyes squinted as he read the message, 

“No way.” He reached into the pocket of his jacket to pull out of his own phone. He let out a laugh, quickly stifling it when he received strange looks from the other passengers. “I can’t believe he actually got caught.” He lowered his voice and continued to read the news article sent by his members, “I actually thought he would get away with it.” 

“Yeah, you did.” She snorted as she held her hand out in front of him. He rolled his eyes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a 10 thousand won note, slapping it in her hand. “Min Yu may be smart but he’s not thorough enough at hiding evidence and I had to clean it up for him once.”

“I know, I was hoping I could just win some money.” He sighed, “What did they find?” He asked as he pulled his earphones out of his pocket. 

“According to Jongho he left his beanie at the murder site. What a genius.” She rolled her eyes before locking her phone and putting it in her pocket. He plugged one of his earphones into his ears and held up the other. “New song?” She asked when she saw the earphone. She plugged it into her ear, “Tell me again how you’re going to debut as a Kpop idol and have time for the business?” She asked as he scrolled through the audio files on his phone. 

“The other guys can handle on their own if we’re busy. They can always call me if they need me.” He shrugged, pressing play on one of the songs. “We finally finished it. It’s called “Treasure.” The song was amazing, leaving Hyun Jae speechless and in awe as she listened to the song. 

Both of them had a musical passion but Hongjoong was the only one actively pursuing it by becoming a trainee at KQ Entertainment. Hyun Jae on the other hand, was more interested in psychology. She spent her time studying the human mind, emotions and body language. Her ability to read a person by just talking to them for a moment was a key benefit for their ‘side job’.

“This sounds amazing.” She said as she pulled out the earphone, “Is this the song you’re debuting with?” She asked him, her eyes sparkling with admiration for her brother. 

“Treasure and Pirate King are the title tracks for the first EP.” He nodded. He had already played Pirate King for his sister a few days back and told her he was only going to play her the rest of the EP after they officially release it. 

“I can’t wait for the release. I’m so proud of you, Joong.” She smiled at him, “I’m sure if mum and dad were still here they’d be proud too. You know how much they wanted you to become an idol.” She bumped his shoulder with hers.

“Thanks, Jae.” He smiled back, his eyes trailing to the floor of the train, “If they were still here they’d probably laugh at Min Yu too.” He snorted. They shared a look, taking a moment to silently mourn their late parents. 

“If they were still alive they would whip us so bad for the way we handle the business.” Hyun Jae spoke up with a chuckle. 

“Oh yeah, definitely.” Hongjoong laughed. “Dad would be so upset that we don’t spend all of our time at the office.” He looked at Hyun Jae, “Mum would be so pissed that I dragged you into it.” 

“I couldn’t leave you to do this alone. We haven’t been separated since we were born, what makes them think we’d part ways if one of us had to join the mafia.” She laughed, shaking her head slightly. 

“Are we ever going to part ways?” He asked after a moment. The question was sudden and it made his sister look up at him in slight shock. She didn’t know how to answer him. They were bound to part ways and the thought of it saddened both of them as they were hoping it wouldn’t happen too soon. “I meant before one of us ends up getting married. We’re not going to separate before that, right?” He looked up at her, the glint of anxiety in eyes making her understand that he was as scared as she was about losing one another. 

“I won’t leave you, Hongjoong. I promise.” She raised her pinky finger out in front of him and he smiled slightly, raising his own to lock their pinkies together. 

“Twins forever, right?”

“Of course.” She nodded. Once the train reached their stop, Hongjoong was more than ready to just get home and lay down to soothe his already aching body. They were lucky that the stop was literally right outside their apartment building which meant less walking for both of them. They made their way up the building and stepped into the apartment, the sound of bags almost violently rustling as Hongjoong struggled to make his way into the apartment. Hyun Jae was following behind him, locking the door and laughing at his effort.

“It’s not funny! I might fall and die!” He whined out when he heard her laughter. 

“Okay! Okay, sorry!” She laughed as she helped him with the bags. They dumped the bags on the carpeted floor of their living room, Hongjoong letting out a sigh at the relief of letting go of the weight on his arms. 

“Please tell me we don’t have to do another shopping spree too soon.” He groaned out as he massaged his arms. 

“I think we’re pretty set for now. We have all the food we need for what looks like the next month.” Hyun Jae answered as she looked through the bags. She went and started to restock their kitchen, letting her brother use the shower first. She carried her bags into her bedroom, looking through everything she had bought. She pulled out a vintage polaroid camera from one of the bags and placed it on her shelf among other vintage items. 

She took a step back and admired the shelf, her collection was slowly growing as the years were passing and she felt a sense of pride fill her heart. The sound of the bathroom door opening and closing made her grab her robe, heading out of her room only to be faced with Hongjoong in the living room, full moon on display and towel on the floor.

“JOONG!” She screamed as she covered her eyes, “What did I say about being naked?!” She scolded him.

“Sorry!” He quickly picked his towel back up off of the floor, “My towel dropped on the way back to my room!” She only opened her eyes when she heard his bedroom door shut. 

“Next time your towel drops just run into your room!” She yelled out, receiving a muffled ‘sorry’ from his bedroom. Being roommates with her identical twin brother meant she had to set ground rules so that he wouldn’t do dumb things out of his bedroom. 

Hyun Jae was slightly more mature than Hongjoong was when it came to family and whenever they were at home but Hongjoong was, in general, more mature than his sister was; especially when it came to business. Hongjoong was the leader of their mob. After their father had passed away a few years before, their mother had to take charge. But with a scuffle with a rival gang, Hongjoong was forced to take charge along with Hyun Jae. 

The original plan was that he would be a mob boss on his own, but knowing his tendency to trust people more easily that he should, his sister took to his side. She didn’t doubt his ability as a leader for once second but she was worried he would overstep certain details when running the mob. He wasn’t as thorough as she was. She was a perfectionist - not meticulously - and she was way more observant than he was, meaning she would be able to pinpoint a person’s behaviour before he could and was able to judge whether they could trust them or not. 

Their bond was strong. Most of the men that worked under them felt as if them working together was better than if only one of them was on their own. They had that connection only twins would have, being able to understand each other’s feelings and thoughts on a level that seemed as though their minds were one. It was almost telepathic and it seemed to scare new people. No one had been able to get between them. Attempts made by rival mobs to try and turn them on each other failed miserably and soon most mobs and gangs already knew better than to try and make tear them apart. 

Hyun Jae took a quick shower, stepping out of the bathroom in her robe. Hongjoong was stood in the kitchen with his phone pressed to his ear, 

“It’s not that fucking hard!” He yelled into the phone. Hyun Jae stood at the counter, drying her hair with a towel as she listened to the conversation once she realised he was using his work phone. “Do we have to clean his mess every time? Exactly. Tie him up, Hyun Jae and I will be there soon.” He sighed as he ended the call, squeezing the bridge of his nose with his fingers. 

“The rookie again?” Hyun Jae asked and Hongjoong nodded. 

“God, he’s actually incompetent.” He angrily put his phone on the counter, standing with his hands on his hips for a moment, “We have to go down there. We gotta get rid of him.” He sighed once again. 

“You messed up too many times, kid.” Hyun Jae said, her arms crossed over her chest as she glared at the rookie. His hands were bound behind his back and he was sitting on a chair, fear etched on his face.

“I-I’m sorry. P-Please d-d-don’t k-kill me.” He whimpered out. 

“There’s nothing else we can do. We can’t just let you off the hook that easily. You know too much already.” She looked him dead in the eye, “I already gave you a warning before this mission. It’s not that easy to fuck up that job especially with Yunho’s guidance. All you needed to do was get information and get out. How the fuck did you fuck that up?!” She exploded. He winced at the sudden change in tone of her voice. “Now the government could be on our tail and it’s your fault. Too many fuck ups and too big of one. You’re out.” She moved away from him. 

“Sorry, kid. We just can’t let you run free.” Hongjoong shrugged as he turned to one of his men, “Don’t let his body be found.” He ordered him. 

“No! Wait” The rookie cried out as two men started to pick him up. “Please! I won’t tell anyone!” He continued to cry as they dragged him out of the room. Hyun Jae massaged her temples with her fingers, 

“I told you he would fuck up. He’s a kid.” She groaned, her eyes shut as she heard Hongjoong let out a sigh from beside her, 

“I was hoping we could save him. Who else did he have?” 

“Hyung,” The voice of one of their younger members made them look up. Jongho had peeked his head into the room.

“What is it?” Hongjoong asked. 

“Yunho hyung and Yeosang hyung cleaned up the trail. It should be okay now.” He said, gesturing for them to leave the room and to follow him. The twins followed him out and into the computer room, one of the walls lined with a small row of computer monitors. They were met with the other members of the group Hongjoong was going to debut with; their most trusted members of the mob. 

“Sorry about that, Hongjoong hyung and Hyun Jae noona.” Yunho sat up from one of the desks, his face full of regret. “I shouldn’t have let him do it but I wanted him to learn. Yeosang managed to wipe our digital trail and attach it to another device offshore.” He explained. 

“I don’t blame you. I shouldn’t have let him into this in the first place.” Hongjoong sighed, giving Yunho a light pat on the back. They all nodded, lowering their heads slightly.  All eight of the members had their strengths, making their mob stronger in multiple different methods. 

Right under Hongjoong and Hyun Jae was Seonghwa, the oldest among all of them. He was the most mature out of all of them; slightly more mature as Hongjoong was. He came from a background that wasn’t exactly too wealthy but he was worth more than anyone else in the mob. He was good at theft - more specifically grand theft - and was able to steal loads of money and valuable items without being caught. He didn’t need anyone to clear his footprints, he was able to leave clean and fund the mob without much hassle. 

Yunho was in charge of stealing information physically and often worked with Yeosang. He knew how the inside of the Korean government worked and was able to provide information on how to work around their system. His ability to sneak into buildings had found them the plans for advanced weaponry, the most hunted mobs, and ways to evade the government. His ability had managed to save the mob from being slaughtered after he had found out when and where the government were going to look next. 

Yeosang was their tech guy. Years and years of gaming had led him to building a strategic mind. He knew how to break every firewall and knew how to get into the digital database of any top secret government facility. His digital knowledge combined with Yunho’s ability had allowed them to successfully complete break ins cleanly. His love for drones had also led him to pick up creating and inventing multiple devices that only needed him to work from a computer, making it easier for them to cover up their trail when he needed to complete a job. There were times where he didn’t leave the office, sending in other men with his creations to finish the job successfully. 

San was among the top three in their group. He was the best at bribery and knew every corrupt police officer in South Korea. He had the most connections in and out of Korea. He could get his hands on any information required on any government and his strength in martial arts also made it easier for him to travel around without any extra people to keep him safe. He could blend into groups and disappear from anyone that was targeting him. He and Seonghwa’s families had worked together prior to joining Hongjoong, both of them sharing their abilities to commit multiple crimes together for the benefit of their mobs. 

Mingi was the riskiest out of all of them. He was the most willing to do everything and anything and he was the best at handling weapons. His aim on a gun was the best, his knife skills were peaked and he could learn how to use any weapon within a short span of time. He was their shield, leaving misleading evidence to keep cops off of their trail and was the only one who had ever let off a C4 before. He was also their sniper. His precise aim could take out anyone from miles away and he was usually the first one to let them know whether it was safe to continue or not. 

Wooyoung was their interrogator. He knew his way around torture and kidnap, bringing back useful bodies for information. He was in charge of every interrogation and had been successful for a good majority of his torture. He seemed to have a knack for interrogation, originally wanting to join the police force but had to change his path when he had accidentally stained himself with a criminal record with a petty crime. After he met Hongjoong, his desire for being in the police force quickly changed to him growing on being on the opposite side. 

Their youngest and strongest member was Jongho. His strength could take down guards and officers almost twice his size and he knew Hongjoong and Hyun Jae even before he joined their mob due to their father’s being allies. He was feared by most gangs and even the men that worked under the twins for his strength. He was the only one among them that could fight the longest due to his stamina, typically working alongside San to make the job easier since Jongho wasn’t that good at working alone. He couldn’t disappear as well as the other members and working with San was slowly teaching him how he could blend into the crowd when needed. 

All of them were close. Their relationships with Hongjoong also bloomed a close relationship with Hyun Jae. They were able to separate their lives in the mafia from their personal lives. Business meant business and family meant family but they had created a bond together that was stronger than family. All of them willing to die for each other. Hongjoong knew they could make mistakes but he also knew that they were capable of picking themselves us and taking their own consequences, making him trust them even more. Both him and Hyun Jae knew that without them, the mob would’ve been caught long ago. 

“Hyun Jae noona, has Hongjoong hyung played you Treasure yet?” San asked as they left restaurant that was hiding their office.

“Yeah, it’s really good.” She nodded, “He played it for me just now when we were on the train. It has a great melody, good rhythm and amazing vocals.” She winked at him, a small blush creeping on his cheeks. 

“Whose voice do you think is the best?” Yunho asked, knowing that question would most likely put her on the spot. 

“If I had to choose? Mine.” She joked, earning a whine from him. “I don’t want to make anyone feel shitty, but Jongho’s vocals are always the most impressive.” She commented, sticking her hands in the pocket of her jacket as the temperature seemed to drop a bit more.

“Of course they are,” Hongjoong scoffed, “That’s why he’s our main vocalist.” He turned to Jongho who was smiling proudly, feeling himself fill with warmth at the praise he was getting from his older members. 

“ATEEZ is going to be huge. I can feel it.” Hyun Jae smiled at them, all of them flashing her smiles with their eyes full of excitement. 

“Noona, are you going to follow us on tour?” Wooyoung asked. They were all hoping she could tag along, but with having to take care of the mob, she was too worried to leave Korea with her brother. 

“I don’t think so, Wooyoungie.” She shook her head, Hongjoong quickly turning his head towards her, 

“What? Why?” He asked. He hadn’t officially asked her to follow along but he was hoping she would, not wanting to leave her on her own. 

“I don’t want to leave the mob alone. At least if I stay, I can try and keep things in line until you get back.” She explained. 

“Jae, come on, they can handle themselves. I trust Jung Hee hyung has been here since dad was, so I trust him to take care of everything.” Hongjoong put a hand on her back, “Please, Jae?” He pleaded, a small pout of his lips. 

“Okay, fine.” She nodded, looking at the happy expressions on all of the faces of her friends, “I’ll come along. It’ll be fun, right?”

“Definitely!” San nodded excitedly, “We’re gonna have so much fun. We’ll teach you how to dance!” He skipped. Hyun Jae giggled at how happy he was. 

“Are you guys going home?” Hongjoong asked when they reached the entrance of the train station. 

“Jongho and I have something we need to do.” Seonghwa shook his head, “My brother needs help.” 

“You guys gonna be alright on your own?” Hyun Jae asked. They all nodded, 

“We’ll be fine. It’s not too big of a deal, just need to beat some people up.” He shrugged in response. She nodded at him.

“If anything happens, just give any of us a call, alright?” Hongjoong gave Seonghwa a pat on the back, waving at him and Jongho as they walked the opposite direction. 

“We’re gonna head back first.” Wooyoung spoke after waving at Seonghwa, “We’re super hungry right now.” He gestured to him, San and Yeosang.

“We haven’t had dinner yet so we’re gonna grab something to eat in this area. You wanna join us?” Yeosang asked. 

“It’s fine, I’m super tired.” Hongjoong shook his head, “Jae and I just got back from shopping when Yunho called and my body hurts.” He grimaced as he thought of how much his arms and back were going to feel the next day. 

“Joong’s a baby and he had to carry heavy bags.” Hyun Jae snickered at him, earning a punch to her shoulder. She scowled at Hongjoong. 

“She didn’t help me carry the bags at all.” He crossed his arms over his chest.

“You shouldn’t make a girl carry heavy bags, hyung. Even if it’s your sister.” Mingi teased his hyung.

“Whatever, I’m going home.” Hongjoong threw his arms up and grumbled as he walked into the train station, laughter erupting from his friends. Hyun Jae gave all of them a quick wave before chasing after her brother. 

They all shared apartments with each other to ensure the safety of their group. It was too risky to let them live on their own and they all agreed on a roommate system. Jongho and Seonghwa shared an apartment nearby Mingi and Yunho’s. Wooyoung, Yeosang and San shared an apartment that was in the same area as Hyun Jae and Hongjoong which led to them being constant uninvited guests at each other’s places. 

Wooyoung was constantly at the twins’ apartment whenever Yeosang and San were out, emptying their fridge and claiming that he was too lazy to buy his own food even though there was a convenience store right beside his building. Wooyoung’s habit of eating their food was the reason Hongjoong insisted on bringing home so much food when they were shopping. He knew his fellow member would come over constantly and was sure the fridge would clear even before they were to debut in the next month. 

The ride back to the apartment was silent between the two, both of them tired and ready to head to sleep. The moment they stepped into their apartment, Hongjoong made a beeline to his room. Hyun Jae instead made her way to the cabinets and pulled out a whiskey bottle. She pulled a glass out of another cabinet and filled up the glass with alcohol before putting away the bottle.

 She went out to the balcony and made sure to close the door before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. She lifted the cigarette to her lips, taking a puff. The burning in her throat from the smoke as it filled her lungs brought a sense of peace to her mind. The added burning sensation when she drank the liquor warmed her body in the winter temperature. 

The habit of smoking was something inherited from their parents. Hongjoong stayed away from cigarettes, not wanting to stress his throat and lungs too much but Hyun Jae didn’t. She didn’t mean to pick up the habit but curiosity led to her using cigarettes occasionally. It wasn’t an addiction. She told herself that since she could go a few days without smoking before she felt like she needed to. Hongjoong wasn’t exactly bothered by it but the only rule he set down when they got the apartment was that she wasn’t allowed to smoke indoors and was only allowed to smoke on the balcony if she was home. 

She pulled her phone out of her pocket after feeling a buzz, looking at the notification. 

You reach home okay?

It was from Yeosang. 

Yea, I’m on the balcony right now.

That’s good. I’m glad you’re coming on tour. We can spend more time together.

The relationship she had with Yeosang was different and slightly complicated. There was no denying that there was chemistry between the two but for the sake of Yeosang, they had to hide their relationship. If Hongjoong was to find out that he was interested in her, he would beat him up or do worse. He was protective over his sister; especially when it came to the mob. The last member of the mob who took interest in Hyun Jae ended up being hidden in the ocean. The unspoken restrictions from Hongjoong still didn’t stop them from letting a relationship blossom between them. Yeosang would always make sure Hyun Jae would get home safe after the twins would leave the office. 

The sound of the balcony door opening made her turn around to see Hongjoong stepping out onto the balcony. Hyun Jae quickly slipped her phone in her pocket and put out the cigarette on the ashtray that sat on the metal rail. 

“What are you doing out here? I thought you were tired.” She questioned as she watched him lean against the rail. 

“Didn’t feel tired enough.” He shrugged. They looked out at the town, watching as cars and people passing by. 

“Hongjoong,” She spoke up, earning a hum from him. “Should I really go on tour with you guys?” She asked, turning to her brother who was still looking out. “I don’t know how I feel about leaving the mob alone like this.” She said. He pursed his lips before turning to face her,

“I really want you to come along, Hyun Jae.” His eyes were asking her to come. She didn’t want to say no but she was paranoid. “I know you’re worried about the mob but I seriously feel like they can handle things without us. I mean, we’re already bringing along eight of our members. Why not we bring you as well?” Her eyes were unknowingly scanning his body language as he spoke and she knew that he was worried too. But his trust in the men that had worked with their parents for years was strong enough that he could push past his worry. Maybe she could too. “If you don’t come they’re gonna bully me.” He joked. 

“They bully you either way.” She rolled her eyes with a laugh, “Just because I’m one minute older doesn’t mean I have to beat up your bullies for you.” 

“That’s what older sisters are for!” He whined. “You’re supposed to protect me!” He grabbed her shoulders and started to shake her back and forth, “Jae, come with us, pleeeeeaaaase!” He pleaded as he shook her. 

“Okay, okay, okay!” She yelled as she tried to get him to stop. He stopped once she spoke. “I’ll follow you guys, sheesh.” She moved her hair out of her face and watched as he started jumping in excitement. 

“Yay! You’re coming with us!” He looked like a child who had just gotten candy, jumping up and down before running into the apartment. Hyun Jae laughed as she watched. The paranoia in her heart quickly disappeared. The decision to follow them on tour felt like a good idea. It felt right.

[laughing-with-god]

Pandemonium X

Words: 3.2k

“We loved each other with a premature love, marked by a fierceness that so often destroys adult lives.” ~ Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita.

You have always upheld yourself to a certain code of ethics.  

Never have you considered lying to those closest to you.  

However, justice was not something that can easily be weighed out by a simple Libra scale.  Should you risk telling the truth at the major risk (not even a risk really, when you know for certain that it will happen) that utter mayhem will occur in response?  Or do you keep a secret in hopes of trading off your friends’ comfort for the trade of your -now- guilty conscious?

Should you tell her about Jungkook?

But, as you thought harder about it, you realised YOU didn’t even know what you would tell Kat.  Even if you admitted to some sort of relationship with Jungkook, what would she say if she ever caught you with the other brothers?  And if you became official in the eyes of Kat, would the whole school also have to know that you’ve entered a relationship with him? Not to mention, you were certain that the issue between Kat and Jimin was far from ever being water under the bridge.  You cringed as an image of those two meeting once again popped inside your mind’s eye. No. Just….no.

Many people have lived double lives before, why can’t you be one of them?  Besides, this was a temporary solution to the conundrum that was your student debt.  You just needed your tuition to be paid off and then you’d drop all seven of them in a blink of an eye.  And with seven grand a week, you’d be a lot closer to the departure than most other sugar babies could dream of.  

You sighed and set your phone aside.

“Who is it?”  Jungkook asked while shuffling your body a bit closer to his.  You took a deep breath and put on a facade of an unbothered persona.  If lying husbands who had affairs for years on end with illegitimate children can lie to their wives, why can’t you give it a go?

His lithe form felt hard against your much softer one as his muscular arms pulled you closer, as if you weighed nothing.  

“Nothing.”  You answered.  Jungkook ‘tssk-ed’ and pushed his face closer to yours, eyes wide and peering intensely at you with disbelief, face innocently prodding at you for answers.  You rolled your eyes at this attempted puppy face. “No one of importance, anyway. Just my roommate asking about some humus in the fridge and if it expired.”  You shrugged.

Jungkook just giggled at this utterly boring detail and got a dreamy look on his face.  “I wonder what it’s like to be roomates with you.” His musical tone purred.

“Not that great.”  You admitted, “I have constant meltdowns and she’s always on my ass for my habits.”

“Like what?”  Jungkook asked with his interest peaked.  

“I’m just messy, and I play my music too loud and I sleep in too much and I forget to lock the door and silly shit like that.”  You listed off.

“What a god awful roommate to be.”  Kook chuckled. “I should offer your roommate a deal and pay her to kick you out so you can live with me.”  

You laughed.  

“I feel like I couldn’t put up with your habits, my sweet little boy of a man.”  You cackled, picturing it so vividly in your head. Said manchild raised a brow in signal for you to clarify.  “You probably use axe spray as febreeze or use paper towels as toilet paper when you run out.”

Jungkook rolled those big brown eyes before grumbling. “I’m not that hopeless.”  

“Yeah, you probably just pay a poor little old maid to do all your bidding.”  How could you forget that this dork of a man was the heir to a wealthy business chain and probably had a whole staff waiting on him hand and foot since before he was able to even crawl?

“I have you know, that Maria is more than just a maid to me.  She’s like a mother,” Jungkook snobbishly defended. You snorted.  

“Puh-lease.  What’s her birthday?”  You interrogated.

“........why does it matter?”  Jungkook gave up at the revelation of his lack of knowledge towards the beloved ‘Maria’.  

You snickered at the poor rich kid before opening your mouth to rebuttal, however before you got the chance to say anything, you were interrupted by the waitress dumping a large amount of breakfast food onto your table.  

You pulled away from Jungkook (as much as he would allow) in order to stuff your face. And with that your brunch was continued in a comfortable silence, his toned arm never letting you pull too far away from him.  

--

Much to his dismay, Jungkook had to drop you off.  

He had wanted so badly to continue the day with you, but you had protested as you had many things to do.  

Even now, he was pouting like a child denied candy as he pulled into your dorm parking lot.  The overly expensive car groaned to a stop and thus began the awkward goodbyes.

All was silent in the vehicle as you clicked off your seatbelt.  

Jungkook was stoic in his stubborn act of silence and glaring through the windshield, all the while still pouting.  

“You act like I’m never going to see you again.”  You chuckled before leaning over the passenger seat to violate his personal space, hovering an inch by his face.  Ever so childish, the manchild refused to turn to even face you. “Baby, I’m not off to war.”

“You still could’ve hung out with me for a few more hours .”  He whined, the sound weirdly intimate to your ears and a noise that you doubt you’ve heard the last of.  

You plopped an overly loud kiss on his cheek, before leaning back and opening your door to exit.  “Still more than what your brothers got.”

You stepped out and straightened up before leaning down the opened door to say one last thing to the now attentive fuckboy.   

“By the way, let’s keep what happened last night to ourselves.  We both know your brothers will go batshit if they find out.” You winked cheekily as Jungkook stuttered, right before you slammed the door shut.  

--

“If you tell me that you didn’t get dicked down last night, I want you to turn around and exit right away.”  

These were the words that welcomed you as you stepped into your cozy and under-sized dorm.  You laughed and pulled your shoes off before joining your gloomy roommate on the sofa.

Kat shoveled in some more soggy cheerios into her mouth while glaring at you with those icy blue eyes.  

“Last night was a blur Kat.  But I swear nothing happened.”  You attempted to brush it off as you leaned back into the lumpily-cushioned couch.

“Bitch!  I call foul!  I see a picture of you kissing one of the many fuckboys at our school, you don’t return at all last night and you come in early afternoon wearing a hoodie that I know for damn sure that you don’t own.”  You laughed at how fucked you were. There was no way that you could get anything past the observant eye of Kat. But to your credit; it wasn’t like your cover-ups were that elaborate. You were still in Jungkook’s hoodie for god’s sake and you still haven’t offered an explanation to the picture that Kat saw.  It didn’t take much detective work on your roommate’s part.

“Okay fine, I had a few drinks and kissed him.  Then I went to his house and we just watched a movie and fell asleep.  I swear nothing happened and I doubt I’ll ever see him again.”

“Feel free to walk right out that door.  You seriously didn’t take up the opportunity to get some dick?!”  Kat was flabbergasted and you just laughed at her half offended and humored expression.  

“Kat, I would pull out my eyes before I let a fuckboy inside this tight ass pussy.  Shit is reserved for worthy candidates, okay?” It was Kat’s turn to laugh boisterously and you mentally patted yourself on the back for averting the questioning with humor.  You were a pro at it. “Listen, I’m going to jump in the shower real quick and try to wash off any axe spray lingering on me. Afterwards lets watch a movie or something, sound good?”  

Kat just nodded and slurped up the last of the milk in her bowl while you retreated to the bathroom to wash up.  

Before you can even strip or start the water, your phone rang with an onslaught of numerous notifications all at once.  You flipped your phone over from its’ place on the bathroom counter to see whom was harassing you. It was the group chat.  The hoes didn’t forget about their pimp.

‘......what were you doing last night, (Y/n)?’  Taehyung.

‘What’s with the creepy questions, Tae?’ Hoseok.  

‘...oh….you know…..just wondering’ Taehyung.  

‘(Y/n), did you still want to have brunch?’ Jimin.

‘It would be more of a lunch now.’  Jin.

‘I didn’t want to annoy her since she could’ve been sleeping, so I figured I’d wait till she woke up and texted to the chat.  You know….LIKE A GENTLEMAN.’ Jimin

‘And what is it that you’re doing now, exactly?’  Yoongi

‘This chat is a pain in my ass.’ Namjoon.

You giggled while reading the brothers interaction with each other.  It was humorous when you could observe it from behind the safety of your screen, immaginging Yoongi’s sarcastic voice or Namjoon’s montone and brooding voice.  

‘I second that notion, Namjoon.’  You sent.

‘Baby!  You’re up!  Let me take you out, okay?’Jimin.

‘Yeah….about that….I kinda forgot about brunch all together and already ate….?’  You feebly lied.

‘....Oh really?’  Taehyung asked.

A sinking feeling came to you.  Why is it that Taehyung could bring the most absurd reactions to you without even being there in person?  You could even picture his stupid grin. From behind a 

phone screen you still got the feeling that he knew something that you did not.  And with that stunt he pulled earlier with your mother, you learned real quick not to underestimate the fucker.  

‘Yuppers.’  You blandly answered.  

What came next to the group chat was a picture sent from Taehyung.  

It was a screenshot from someone’s snapchat story.  It was slightly blurry and you clicked on it to enlargen the image to observe it closer.  

It was of you and Jungkook, kissing behind the house where the party took place and it had the caption of ‘Lmao Kookie getting some!’  

You were fucked.  

Your phone buzzed more and more with what you were certain would be enraged texts from the others.  

‘I swear to god, I’ll kill you Jungkook.’  Yoongi.

‘Why wouldn’t you tell us that she was at a college party?!’ Jin.

‘Baby!  You shouldn’t be at parties like that!  Something bad could happen to a young thing like you!”  Jimin.

“Yeah, something like Jungkook’s fukboy tendencies….’ Yoongi.  

“Hey!  I’m not a fuckboy!”  Jungkook.

‘Lmao, (Y/n) you’re not the first innocent girl to get tongue harassed by Jungkook.  I’m SO sorry you had to experience that.’ Jin.

‘I heard his technique was sloppy.’  Taehyung.

‘Fuck you all in the ass.  For the record, (Y/n) kissed me!  And spent the night at my place AND we got brunch this morning.  Suck on that, I win.’ Jungkook.

Your jaw dropped in horror.  

Didn’t you tell him not to inform his brothers?!  He might as well have said, ‘fuck you, i’m the shit, (Y/n).’  

You were regretting the whole night with Jungkook.  You should’ve known that the testosterone would’ve gotten to his pea-sized brain.  All men really were useless.

‘Why tf would u kiss a boy when you could have a man?’ Namjoon.

Revenge reared it’s ugly head as you thought of a way to get back at the manchild who so easily went against his word after just sheer moments of you telling him NOT to tell.  

‘Idk Namjoon.  Perhaps you can take me out for dinner tonight and show me how a REAL man acts?’

‘Wait is she serious?’ Taehyung.  

‘What is that supposed to mean, baby?  Am I not man enough for you? Did our night mean nothing to you?’  Jungkook.

‘It did UNTIL YOU BETRAYED ME!  Wtf! YOU UTTER STEROID HEAD ASS I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL AND NOW ALL YOUR BROTHERS ARE GONNA BE ON OUR ASS!’

‘....Tae already found a picture tho?’  Jungkook.

‘DID HE FIND EVIDENCE THAT I SPENT THE NIGHT AT YOUR HOUSE AND HAD BRUNCH? NO!  ISTG YOU’D BE THE WORST PARTNER IN CRIME!’

‘......What time should I pick you up?’  Namjoon.

--

Intensity didn’t even begin to explain the aura that Namjoon gave off.  

Although you were a grown woman who never backed down from anyone, somehow Namjoon had the power to make you feel anxious.  A thing you rarely felt towards a person.

You had invited the older man in a burst of anger, a desire to irritate Jungkook and had thought little about what it would be like to even share a meal with the male.  But now that the time of his arrival was nearing, you just couldn’t help but have an internal panic attack at the doom of being one-one-one with him.

Brief your interacting with him may be, he never failed to leave a lasting impression.  He stood out from his brothers. Even that day when they were fighting in the conference room, he had stayed back and observed the chaos with those calculating eyes of his.  His deep baritone voice and his instant habit of calling you ‘Lolita’ when you first met. The nickname made you feel odd. Not in a bad nor a good way, just...odd. It was almost belittling you, like calling you a child.  As from the novel, the character was a child. But it was also a child whom the main character was obsessed with. Enchanted, even. Was it insulting or degrading? Or was it just a unorthodox way he showed fondness?

‘I’m outside.’  

You heart dropped and a tingling feeling dawned upon you.  

Reluctantly, you left your dorm and went to meet your own personal ‘Mr. Humbert’.  

It was rather easy to spot the Audi in the sea of crappy college student’s cars.

As you approached the car, you saw the tall and broad shouldered man get out from his side of the car.  He was dressed in a nice suit without the tie and the first three buttons of his top undone, honey skin peaking out from underneath.  His hair was still cold silver, but put together rather nicely, although a few strands were standing our freely in the front.

He smirked, one dimple making an appearance as he rounded to the other side of the luxury vehicle to open the passenger door for you.  

The smell of another fancy cologne hit your nostrils and the closer you got to him, the size difference between you two became more apparent.  You felt utterly small next to him. It wasn’t so much his size, as much as it was about his domineering vibe.

“Good evening, Nympet.”  His bottomless voice pierced your ears.  

“Listen, let’s keep this dinner short.  I may or may not have a presentation due that I haven’t even begun.”  You tried to play it off aloof, and even rude in a pathetic effort to not give him the upperhand in the power dynamic.  You just nodded at him and slipped into the car after telling him of your ‘presentation’.

“My nymphet is a brat.”  He muttered before shutting the door or giving you the chance to holler at him.

--

The restaurant was fancy and you never felt as inadequate as you did then; standing next to Namjoon in a cheap Forever 21 dress as your date of the night ordered the staff to take you two to the ‘private lounge’.  

Have you ever seen a 1920’s gangster movie?  

You know those scenes in those bars/restaurants where the booths are u-shaped and red while the lighting was dim and smoke from peoples cigars would fog up the room?

This was apparently the theme of this ‘private lounge’.  

It looked straight out of a scene from the Godfather or something.

Namjoon guided you to one of the booths, with you sitting on one side and him on the other.  

With a snap of his large fingers, Namjoon ordered the waiter to get you two the best red wine they had, his dark chocolate voice was commanding and you got the sense that even if the waiter wasn’t getting paid for this, he would still obey Namjoon’s orders.

And thus you were left alone as the waiter disappeared, leaving you in the lion’s den.  

His almond eyes were very dark and bored into yours, the intensity almost leaving you breathless.  You got the sense that he was analyzing you. You didn’t want to give him the impression that he was scaring you so you just stared right back with what bravery you could muster.  

His face was oval shaped and reminded you of those statues or carvings that you would see at museums.  His skin was olive-toned and he shared one thing in common with his brother Taehyung; they both had strong, Romanian features.    

“You know, I should punish you for attempting to lie to me.”  Namjoon purred, deep within his throat. The sound caused shivers but you quickly regained your composure and straightened up.  

“Punish?  Mr. Kim, I think we need to address your obvious control problem.”  You snarked.

“It’s natural for a guy like myself to want to control a girl like you.”  

You snorted, the noise completely breaking whatever ‘mafia-vibe’ the booth had going on.  

“What the fuck does that mean?”  

Namjoon leaned back in his seat and the waiter magically  materialized to pour wine into both of your guys’ glasses.  Namjoon licked his lip and waited for the nuisance to leave, before picking up his glass and snapping his eyes back up to meet yours.  

“Well, your obviously a submissive person.  And I’m a dominant person.” He stated very colorless, before taking a sip of his drink.

Insulted you screeched, “I’m not a submissive!  What are you on? Leave that weird BDSM stuff in the bedroom.”  

“But, my little nymphet….you know it’s true.”  His eyes bored so heavily into yours, making you unable to look away as the only thing that pierced your ears was the sound of his animalistic voice that unraveled your nerves,  “ Behind your humorous act of aggression and sheer defiance, I know that there’s a submissive side that’s just begging to be taken care of. No one puts up such a character unless they have such an opposite persona lingering unconsciously inside them.  Let me take care of you. Let me do it baby. You must be so tired of acting so headstrong all the time. With me, you’ll never have to do that again. I’ll be aggressive for you. I’ll take care of every little thing. Like a good dom does.” He paused to take another sip.  “I’m quite offended on your little BDSM comment, by the way. A sub and dom relationship is quite sacred actually. We thrive off each other. The trust you will put onto me is exhilarating and the care I will put onto you will be addicting. It’s a give and take.”

You gulped.

In no way was your time with Namjoon going to be like the time spent with Jungkook.  

 (Author’s Note; GANG GANG! IM SO SORRY IV’E BEEN DEAD FOR SO LONG WRITERS, BLOCK SUCKS.  Also thanks so much for 600 followers!  the gif choice is a bit weird but I’m a huge Clark Gable fan (Nam even reminds me a bit of him lmao) and its kinda the mood that the boys have to Y/n when Kook kissed her. Let me know what you think of this chapter and Nam’s philosophy on dom/sub dynamics.)

[alcalavicci]

(Disclaimer: if you wrote this and don’t want it up, send me an ask and I’ll take it down)

Jill and Claire:

Jill: You mentioned that Dean directed a play called "Man With Bags" at the Pilot Theater in Hollywood in 1979. I find this information invaluable. I'm going to make sure it is in our Database here on the Sassies list. If you have any other info about obscure stuff Dean has worked on, please let me know. I mean it. I don't care if no one else is taking notes. I am.

Claire: I have the playbill from "Man With Bags." Russ Tamblyn starred, along with Sally Kirkland. I will photocopy for you. If you don't mind I'll have to send via regular mail, as my scanner doesn't work. I also have a playbill from a show he did in Albuquerque. This probably was early '70s sometime. I can't remember the name of it, but I wrote to the photographer at the theater and he sent me a bunch of photos and stuff. This stuff is packed away. I will look for it tomorrow when I get time. After I get it out, I can give you more information and you can tell me what you'd like to see.

Jill: Re: George Herms, you said "I knew he was a close friend of Dean's....." Yes, he was, but how did you know that? Dean wasn't exactly talked about much in the press between 1970 and 1979. Was he being discussed in Art magazines? And were you subscribing to these magazines? George Herms is the one who painted those symbols on Dean's torso for Dunwich Horror. But I bet you already knew that. Okay, I threw that out there for others who might not know.

Claire: Regarding Mr. Herms. Remember all those old movie magazines they used to have in the '60s and '70s. I believe one was called "Photoplay," and there were some others whose names I've forgotten. Well, they used to have pen pal pages in them. One time, they listed a girl who said she was the ultimate Dean fan. Her name was Geordie James. I wrote to her. She had already made contact with Dean, and believe it or not, he was working on his autobiography at that time. He sent it to her to see what she thought about it (I kid you not). She told me she was going to start a fan club for him and asked me if I wanted to be the secretary. I said, yes, and she promptly sent me the autobiography to type--for him!! It was in this biography that so much was mentioned. "Moonstone" is the film Dean directed with George Herms as his star. It's a film about George's art. And you got me, I didn't know George had painted those symbols on him in "Dunwich." Too cool. Back to the autobiography. I typed it up and was so excited. I sent it back to Geordie without making a copy. Something I came later to regret, of course, since he apparently didn't have it published, but I retained much of what was discussed in it in my head. That's how I already knew about George Herms. Geordie James later had a house fire (she lived in Utica, NY). After that, I never was able to get back into contact with her. I never told Dean I had typed his autobiography either. For some reason, I didn't want to come off (at that time) like Miss Ultimate Fan. It was a stupid "coolness" thing.

Jill: What is 'Moonstone?' Is it a short film? An art object? And why did Herms need Dean in order to show it?

Claire: As I said above, "Moonstone" was directed by Dean, starring George Herms. As I wasn't real artsy at the time when I saw it at George's retrospective, I don't remember a whole lot about it. I just remember it revolved around a gem called a moonstone. It was definitely a short film. Real art house stuff.

Jill: You mentioned that Dean walked in with Joy. I thought she didn't come to Hollywood to see him until 1981? You mentioned that he had just started dating her at the time (so this means he finally dumped Toni Basil by 1979?). And.................Big question here........how did you know it was Joy? Did he introduce you to her? I mean, how did you know At That Time that it was Joy Marchenko, and that they had just started dating? Or is this something other people told you later on?

Claire: Now you got me. I'm not really sure that it was Joy. Later when I saw Joy's picture (after they got married), I jumped to the conclusion that that was the girl he was with at the museum because she looked very much like her. But you're telling me the dates don't jibe, so I'm probably wrong.

Jill: Did you recognize Russ Tamblyn right off? Did you already know that Russ and Dean were friends? And how did you know that? Did you already know Russ' wife's name, or did you find that out later? Is this the wife Russ separated from, right about that same time, and then he and Dean became roommates? And where did that leave Joy? Come to think of it, are you positive that was Joy that Dean was with? And are you positive that was Elizabeth with Russ?

Claire: Right, I already knew he and Russ were friends. Russ also was the star of "Man With Bags," which I had just seen two weeks earlier. I knew Elizabeth's name from reading a "Photoplay" article about Russ. She also was at the play. They could have been separated for all I know, and he was just still taking her to things. I also saw Elizabeth around 1980 at Toni Basil's show at the Fox Venice. She was not with Russ at the time; she was with her mother. I know it was her mother because I was in the restroom at the same time they were and she called her mom or mum. I also did not see Dean at Toni's show.

Jill: Another good tidbit here....."about 5 years later, when he was appearing in a dinner theater production of "Relatively Speaking." Another item for my database. So you're thinking it was about 1984? When Dean was still living in Santa Fe? And where was this dinner theater production at? I'm thinking Los Angeles, since you were living in California. Unless this was one of those dinner theater appearances he did in Las Vegas?

Claire: The dinner theater production was in San Clemente, Calif. I have the autographed playbill. I will dig out tomorrow. It had to be before he moved to Santa Fe, so I'm wrong on dates. I can get more specific when I find the playbill. Sorry I was generalizing so much on dates. I know how important it is when you're trying to keep a database.

Jill: When you saw Dean at the restaurant.........how did you know he was with his manager? Did he introduce you? Or did you assume it? Or did you know his manager?

Claire: I assumed there, too. He seemed like a manager-type person. The person was very business-like. They appeared to be discussing business before I walked up to the table. It could have been the manager of the dinner theater. 

Jill: How did you know Dennis Hopper had dubbed him "Rainbow Razorbrain?" Where did you read that? Or did someone tell you?

Claire: Can't remember where I read it, but I know it was an article I read in a movie magazine before I moved to Calif. I believe it was around the time Dennis' "The Last Movie" was released and there were some articles on them at this time. Later Dennis talks about Dean in Roddy McDowell's photo book (can't remember the title). I'm thinking he mentions calling Dean "Rainbow Razorbrain" in Roddy's book.

Claire: Okay, I've gotten the questions out of sequence, let's go back. Regarding "Man With Bags." I found all the other playbills, but this one. I will keep looking for it, because it's special since Dean directed it. Also, now that I think back, Sally Kirkland was the stage manager of the play. Russ was the only "star" I knew who was in it. There was another girl, I believe her name was Kristen Larkin, who played the lead. And Patty ?? (forgot her last name, but she was one of the sisters in "The Beguiled" with Clint Eastwood. Hope that helps until I locate the playbill. Regarding the Sally Kirkland story, I had only heard that she lost her balance during the earthquake scene and hurt her back as a result. The "Dennis stabbing her" scenario is just a little freaky, but what's new. 

Jill: For some reason, I was being cross-referenced to the film "The Beguiled" just the other day, and I think it had something to do with Dean or a co-star of Dean's. Isn't that weird? I'll have to go over to IMdB.com and try and figure out what I was looking for.

Claire: I think that was awfully synchronistic you were cross-referenced to "The Beguiled," and then I mentioned it. Uh-oh, I think I hear the "Twilight Zone" theme.

Jill: The story of Sally Kirkland and her lawsuit is in the Archives, I'm sure, and I'll see if I can dig it up.

Claire: Thanks, that will be interesting to read.

Jill: I'm not sure where Joy Marchenko came from, but I know she was a ‘Textile Designer in Morocco.' I think that's from the People Magazine interview. And that's about that, unless you know anything else?

Claire: I don't really know anything about her either. I read somewhere that they had to move from Santa Fe because of her asthma. That's too bad, 'cause that's pretty country.

Jill: You mentioned that you didn't know Dean and Joy were divorced until 2000. Well, you're already ahead of most of Dean's fans. I didn't become a fan until late 2000, and by early 2001 I was on the Internet, asking 'Where's Dean's wife, anyway?' Nobody seemed to know that they were divorced at that time. A member here, also named Joy, met Dean in Reno in Nov. 2001, and he said to her "Oh, you had to pick my ex-wife's name!" So, that was our first 'official' confirmation. But, like with just about everything else related to Dean, it wasn't written in stone. But things began to emerge. First, a member joined from France who happened to have a magazine interview from 1996 where Dean talks about separating from his wife. And, there is a lady who published a biography of Dean this year (you can buy it over the Internet - but pretty much everything in it you can find in our magazine articles here on the Sassies list - and she completely glosses over anything 'beatnik' or 'hippie' about Dean - there will be absolutely no mention of Toni Basil or George Herms in her book). Anyway, this lady briefly joined the Sassies list, and she had no idea that Dean & Joy were divorced, and pretty much denied it, by saying "Why wasn't it in the papers?" And I replied, "Why didn't any of Dean's fans know that his mother died in 1993?" (Another fact she forgot to put in her book). And then she unsubscribed. And then another (former) member on the Sassies confronted me with the fact that I have no proof that Dean and Joy were ever divorced (which I don't), and insisted that they're probably still living together, or are just separated. I'm getting pretty used to people calling me on things, and just take the facts as they are presented to me, and do with them what I can. So far, my hunches about things have been more right than wrong. 

Claire: I read a small piece on them being divorced somewhere around 2000. It shocked me pretty good. I can't imagine someone writing a bio on Dean and not mentioning the Beat/Hippie connection. This still is like the heartbeat of Dean (snap, snap).

Jill: You mentioned Toni Basil was backed by Devo in her show (and I would have loved to have seen this show! Sounds wild!). She was dating their bass player at the time. She was the one who gave Dean a tape of Devo to listen to, and then Dean gave it to Neil Young. Hmmmm............which came first.......Dean leaving Toni for Joy, or Toni leaving Dean for the bass player? LOL!

Claire:  Or Toni leaving Dean because of her enormous crush on David Bowie. That would have driven me bonkers!

Jill: Oh, and I have no proof that Toni and Dean were ever married, other than those two mentions. What do you think? My first hunch is to say No - that people (such as the musician that was quoted on the Internet) simply assumed they were married. Sort of a 'common-law' marriage, if you will. It's yet another mystery of Dean.

Claire: I kinda think they weren't married. Toni always reminded me of, how do I put this, if Dean had been a woman, he would have been Toni and if Toni would have been a man, she would have been Dean. I think they were too similar for their own good.

Claire: Regarding Dean's mentioning George, Millie, Dennis, Wallace, etc. They were mentioned only in context [in his autobiography] with the chronology of his life. There were no asides, unfortunately. Dean was still Dean back then, very secretive and protective about personal events and people in his life. He mentioned that he had married Millie and divorced. I believe he mentioned "Breakaway" and his collaboration with Toni and Bruce, but only in that context. He detailed Wallace's influence on him, and talked about directing "Moonstone," which I now know he began filming in 1963 with George. I have George's chronology of events from the book "The Prometheus Archives--A Retrospective Exhibition of the Works of George Herms," which I purchased at the show. The dates on my copy say the exhibit showed from June 2-July 22, 1979 at the Newport Harbor Art Museum. I will send the chronology to you.

[moonprincess92]

you know i want all of the AUs!!! but especially that coffeeshop AU — with sprinkles of them becoming roommates and having to fake date for some mysterious reason. :D (but i‘d be happy with just the coffeeshop AU tbh.) but you know i love all of your AUs (stories in general) and love you! ❤️

it’s no coffee shop au, but i managed to do the other two - anything for you, girl! (also on ao3) 

Jyn was literally already halfway to her parent’s house when she got themessages.

JynnjYYYNNNNNfuck my life apparently danielle is getting marriedFUCKFKJGIN MARRIEDPLS ANSWER THIS IS AN OFFICIAL CODE BLUE

She’d only glanced at them as she drove, but upon seeing the forebodingDanielle’s name she immediately pulled over to read them through properly.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

She hastily texted back,

AREU FUCKING KIDDING ME TELL ME UR KIDDING 

Only two cars whizzed on by before he replied,  

I am NOT kidding, she’s fuckingannounced it on fb????

In the next second, Jyn was furiously pulling up said Facebook, searchingfor Danielle’s profile. She was technically still friends with the woman, butonly so that she could retain the prime stalking privileges that being Facebookfriends provided. If she could, she would have blocked and deleted herMONTHS ago, but Cassian had begged her to keep her around ‘just in case, Idon’t know, so I can avoid her I guess’. It didn’t take much scrolling. Themost recent post of hers was an engagement announcement to some guy she hadliterally never even heard of, complete with professional photo spread andcurrently over a thousand likes.

Out of spite, Jyn angry-faced it.

JUSTCHECKED, MATE U WEREN”T KIDDING

OF COURSE IM NOT KIDDING

Areu drunk yet????

I’m certainly on my way

Jyn sighed, staring at her phone. She’d been planning on meeting up withher parents for dinner for months now. With her living several cities away andtheir ever-increasing schedules, it was always hard to find the time… but thisparticular crisis called for significant action. She quickly texted Cassian oncemore,

Areu at home??

I am currently on the couch of pain,yes

Don’tmove, I’ve just left work, I’ll be there soon

Before she could receive the expected ‘no, no, you go see your familylike you planned don’t worry about me’ messages, she quickly called herparents.

“Hello?”

“Mama? It’s me,” Jyn said. “Look, I know we’ve had to reschedule thisdinner like three times now, and I’m so sorry, but I won’t be able to make ittonight either.”

“What’s going on this time?” Lyra Erso sighed. 

“Cassian’s ex-fiancée has just announced that she’s engaged again.”

“Oh, shit,” Lyra said at once, any trace of disappointment instantly gone. “Seriously, Danielle?”

“You understand the gravity of the situation.”

“I thought they’d only just broken up?”                

“It was four months ago,” Jyn admitted. “But four months to get over athree year relationship, find someone else, fall in love, AND get engagedagain? Fuck her!”

“Jyn, go home, seriously,” Lyra insisted. “Make sure that boydoesn’t drown himself in the bathtub or something.”

“I think drowning in alcohol is more likely – thanks Mama,” Jyn said inrelief. “Can you explain to Papa?”

“Of course – OI, GALEN!” Lyra’s booming voice suddenly screeched down the other end of theline. “CASSIAN’S EX GOT ENGAGED AGAIN!”

“The girl who dumped him two weeksbefore the wedding? How dare she!”

“I KNOW RIGHT?”

Jyn figured to hang up then. It didn’t take long for her to hang a quicku-turn and swing back in the direction she had come from, but it was longenough to notice the ten or so new messages that had apparently been sentto her as she’d spoken to her parents.

“Don’t even start,” she said upon storming straight into theirapartment. “I was coming back no matter what you said, this is a Code Blue forsure.”

“Did I even use the right one? Which one was Code Blue again?” Cassiansaid in resignation. He didn’t even bother getting up from the sofa, where hewas currently laid splayed out with a half-empty bottle of wine sitting on thecoffee table next to him.

“Code Blue is ‘emotionally my life has gone balls up and I need you’,”Jyn reminded him. “Code Red is ‘I fucked up and need immediate assistance’. Wesave Code Black for ‘I’M DYING’.”

“I don’t know, I think this could be a Code Black as well, Jyn.”

“You’re not dying yet,” she snorted, snagging the wine as she sat downon the other end of the sofa, lifting Cassian’s legs out of the way anddropping them back into her lap. She peered at the bottle in her hand andasked, “Could you have bought a cheaper bottle of wine?”

“I wasn’t spending any more on her.”

“Fair point,” Jyn threw some back. Cassian gestured for her to pass itbetween them, but she shook her head before hastily drinking more. “No, no, Iclearly have to catch up here.”

“I’m not THAT drunk.”

“Try and get off this sofa.”

He glared at her for several moments.

“Case in point.”

Cassian groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. “Honestly, how did I endup here?” he said and Jyn felt for him, she really did. When you knew someonefor nearly 10 years, you saw a lot of heartbreaks and aches. From when they’dfirst met as awkward 18-year-old’s, to now in their late twenties and honestlyjust trying to Adult without dying, the two of them had been there throughevery single disastrous relationship they’d ever had. She’d been therebefore, during and after the Danielle fiasco, and he’d been right at her sideas she’d slashed the tyres of every ex who’d ever cheated on her (tugging onher arm and practically begging that they leave before they get caught, but he’dstill never let her do it alone). There was little that they hadn’t donetogether, or that they wouldn’t do for each other, to be honest. She rubbed hisshin where it lay over her said,

“It’s gonna be ok.”

“IS IT?” Cassian pressed his fingers hard over his eyes. “I appreciatethe support but Jyn, she’s engaged. Three years apparently wasn’t even enough time to want to marry me,but four months and she’s more than happy to say yes to some other bastard? Whothe hell even IS that guy?”

“Cassian, we’ve established that Danielle is a flighty bitch who can’tdecide what she wants and you’re better off without her,” Jyn sighed. “Do Ireally have to beat it into your head again?”

“Probably.”

She leaned over and whacked him affectionately. Thing was, the nightDanielle had called off the wedding was still a very vivid memory, even allthese months later. Literally two weeks before the day, and he had turned upoutside her door out of the blue at one am. He had only been living in his newapartment with his fiancée for three weeks at that point and her first reactionhad been to think welp, SOMEONE’Sdead. Instead, he’d looked at her with an expression that she couldn’t readand had told her simply,

“Danielle left me.”

“… fuck,” she’d said in reply.

And she really hadn’t known what else to say, because what the hell elseCOULD you say? Cassian had been so dedicated, so ready to be married, so deeplyin love that the idea that Danielle had just casually told him one night, “Hey,so I don’t really think I’m ready for marriage, sorry this didn’t work out,”seemed unfathomable.

Jyn had held out her arms and Cassian had immediately walked into them.

“Can I move back in with you?” he had sobbed into her neck.

“Of course,” she’d said back.

“ANYWAY,” she said now. “I might make more jokes and hit you some more,but I’m honestly sorry, Cassian. This sucks.”

“Yeah,” he muttered through his hands.

“You can cry, I won’t judge,” she smirked.

“Fuck you,” Cassian was already attempting to smoother the tears that wereleaking through and she damn well knew it. “Honestly, this is just mostlyembarrassing. Everyone knows that we were engaged only four months ago, and sheapparently wasn’t ready for marriage then but she’s suddenly ready NOW? WHY,JYN? FUCKING WHY.”  

“Hey, only a handful of people know that’s why she left,” Jyn pointedout. “If anything, everyone will be judging her for getting engaged again soquickly! That help at all?”

“A little. But I haven’t even told you the worst part yet.”

“Christ on a bike, there’s a worse part?”

“Brace yourself,” Cassian took a moment to apparently pull up somethingon his phone. In the next, he was handing her the device apparently showing atext conversation between himself and someone with the name ‘DO NOTENGAGE’. 

Hey, Cassian idk if you’ve seen, butI’m getting married!! I’dlove for you to be there, of course it’s a little whirlwind hahaso we haven’t had time to send out official invites but it’s onsat 5th Aug in southlake tahoe. PLS come, I’d love to see youagain!!!! Xxxalso feel totally free to bring a plus 1 ;)  

Jyn was honestly kind of in awe.

“Say the word,” she declared, staring at the offending message. “I swearto god, just say the word and I will fucking END her.”

“I’m not quite at that point, but I’ll let you know if I change mymind.”

“You’re not going. I cannot BELIEVE she had the guts to inviteyou!”

“About that…” Cassian cringed.

Oh, motherfucking shitballs.

“You already said you’d go, didn’t you?”

“Well, if I don’t go I look petty and clearly not over her!” Cassianhastily defended himself, snatching his phone back off her before she couldread his no doubt ‘omg I’d love to!!’ messages (not to mention promptly hurlinga fist into his head as well). “So I said yes out of spite, only now I thinkI’ve backed myself into a corner. I can’t go, but I can’t not go either.” 

“Christ on a bike, Cassian." 

"I know." 

“Well, if you think you’re going alone, you got another thing coming,”Jyn pointed out, grabbing the wine. Blimey, even she needed it now. “You’reshowing this bitch one way or another that she doesn’t have a hold on youanymore.”

“I appreciate your furiousness on my behalf,” Cassian said. “but believeme when I say I am in absolutely no headspace right now to go out and find adate.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I get you,” Jyn said. “Good thing this isn’t just awedding anymore, this is a fucking war. You can’t just take anyone, you need to take someone that is going tomake a statement. Someone that people will talk about for MONTHS after. Youneed to take the one person in the entire world that would piss her off themost.”

“So… you?”

She started a little.

She hadn’t actually been thinking of herself, but now that he mentionedit, it was suddenly the perfect plan. Danielle had quite famously never exactlytrusted the over-half-a-decade of friendship between her and Cassian, despiteJyn having attempted to date several other people over the last three years andCassian being the most devoted boyfriend she thought she’d ever seen. Herand Danielle had always played nice of course and there had even beenmoments when Jyn had managed to bring herself to maybe kind of like her, butthere had always been an undertone to their every interaction that just made itclear that at the end of the day, Danielle Livesay hated Jyn Erso’s guts andprobably always would.

There was no one else Cassian could possibly take that would annoy hermore.

“Yes, me,” Jyn said. “I’m serious, you take me as your date and Daniellewill flip her fucking LID, it will be perfect!”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that–”

“Good thing you’re not asking then,” Jyn declared. “I’m insisting andit’s decided. You got yourself a fake girlfriend! For the record, I’ll cuddleyou and give you a few kisses if she’s looking in our direction, but no tonguestuff ok?”  

Cassian just shook his head, trying not to laugh.

“You’re the fucking best, Jyn.”

“Of course I am. Now drink more wine, this is gonna be a longnight.” 

Of course the wedding was in fucking Lake Tahoe.

Last minute AND destination, Danielle was basically guaranteeing thatthe only people who would come were either only interested in a weekend away orwere the only ones who had no plans. Cassian’s jaw had been clenched basicallyever since they had left their apartment Friday afternoon, but steadily gotworse the closer they got to stepping inside the hotel for the ceremony.

“What do I say to her, whatdo I say–” he hissed frantically under his breath as they approached the nodoubt bloody expensive hotel. She insisted that he chill the fuck out, onlythat resulted in him shutting up and staying deathly silent instead.

"God, you’re not making this easy, mate,” she pointed out.“I think I liked it better when you were talking, I could at least tell ifyou were still alive or not.”

He just let out a strangled squeak. 

“Hey,” she said,reaching out and gripping his hand tightly, their fingers interwoven together.She brought them to her chest, holding him there and making him look at her.“Cassian, I get that this hurts but don’t make it about that. You can hurttomorrow, make tonight about revenge. Hold onto that feeling instead. We’llmake out in front of her a little, and then go and get smashed at the bar.Deal?” 

He nodded faintly. 

They were purposefully a little late to the ceremony, just to furtherprove the point that they didn’t actually give a fuck. They were quicklyushered in amidst some irritated looks from Danielle’s family. Jyn did noticethat only one of Danielle’s three sisters had apparently bothered to show up,and yet it seemed that nearly everyone from her office had taken the trip justto take advantage of the open bar later. They took up an entire row, lookingbored and passing a hip flask subtly between them.

Danielle naturally looked fucking stunning in her dress, and Jyn wassuddenly very glad that Cassian had insisted on tradition and not seeing itbefore their own wedding because turns out she was literally wearingthe exact same dress. Out of all the things to piss her off, Jyn had honestlythought it would be something more extreme, but nope. Apparently, a dress didit! That fucking dress, the one that had to be altered three times,that Jyn had helped her pick out, had reassured over manycomplimentary glasses of champagne that she looked beautiful in and thatCassian would love it, only to just turn around and use it to marry someoneelse instead… fuck her. Her husband-to-be looked kind of in shock, honestly, like hedidn’t quite know what he was doing up there in front of all these people.

Really, she knew the feeling.

Luckily, their strategic lateness meant that they had missed half theceremony, so they didn’t have to sit through too much of the gushing ‘I loveyou’s. They only caught the tail end of it, Danielle tearing up as she spokeher vows.

“Oh my god, I’m going to ruin my make-up,” she said, gaining some politelaughs. “Oh, Derek. Honestly, I don’t even know how to finish this. I thought Iknew what love was before we met, but turns out I had no idea. I am so, solucky that I found you and get to spend the rest of my life with you. I loveyou.”

Jyn glanced over at Cassian briefly as the vows wrapped up.

She had never seen the man go white before, but he was white as a sheetnow.

“I’m so glad that’s over,” he ended up grumbling through champagne onlya little while later. Thankfully, the reception was in full swing and honestly,it was almost worth all the emotional pain this weekend was so far causing justfor the sheer elaborance of it all. The dinner had been fucking amazing, and the vinyl windows had all beenrolled up to expose the ballroom to the open air and natural lakeside view.Lanterns criss-crossed the ceiling and with a DJ pounding out cheesy pop dancesongs, it was easy to get lost in a sea of alcohol and forget the whole‘getting married four months after getting dumped’ thing.

“I’m still pissed that she hasn’t even come over to talk to you yet,”Jyn pointed out. “What kind of fucking host doesn’t even talk to all theirguests? It should be easy, there’s only about thirty of them who even botheredto come!”

“Honestly, I’m fine with it.”

“Honestly, I’m not,” Jyn said. “I wanna show that bitch a piece of mymind.”

“God stop talking, stoptalking, I think she’s watching us,” Cassian suddenly panicked, spluttering onhis drink as he hastily turned around. “You’re jinxing it!”

“She’s looking?”

“From the high table, I accidentally caught her eye!”

“Perfect,” Jyn reached out and wrapped her arms around Cassian’s waist.He didn’t raise an eyebrow, however, until she started running her hands up anddown his back, clearly something she didn’t usually do when hugging him andalso obviously in Danielle’s line of sight.

“Jyn…” he sighed.

“Come on! Is this not why you brought me?”

“I’m starting to re-think the idea, to be honest, she’s going to knowit’s not real, that I’m just a hopeless loser who brought his roommate as adate to his ex’s wedding–”

“Shut up, that’s just her getting into your head,” Jyn insisted. “Workwith me, here.”

Cassian sighed… before leaning forward and pressing his nose into herneck. “That’s it,” she grinned. It wasn’t quite the statement she was goingfor, but it would work for now at least. From this angle, it would look like hewas kissing her exposed neck and shoulder, and she purposefully turned ever soslightly so that her face could be seen from the high table.

Sure enough.

“Oh my god, she’s coming over.”

“Shit–” Cassian nearlyspilled champagne down her back.

“Don’t stop kissing me!”

“I’m not kissing you, remember–”

“Well, maybe you should be, because we got about twenty seconds beforeshe’s here–”

He cut her off with a sudden kiss that was just on the side ofdesperate, but she didn’t care. Honestly, she’d had worse kisses before andwith worse people. She didn’t even have long to make a spectacle of it sincebarely a second later Danielle was upon them, calling out and forcing themapart.

“Cassian! Jyn! Shit, guys, thank you so much for coming!”

“Oh, Dani,” Jyn said, cheerfully. “It’s no problem.”

“The journey wasn’t too bad?”

“Nah, we road tripped it,” Jyn carried on talking, seeing as it seemedthat Cassian had been deemed temporarily speechless. As well as she knew herbest friend… really, she didn’t know at all what he was currently thinking.Hell, she wasn’t even sure if he was even out of love with Danielle yet. Like,properly and everything. He was clearly not over her, as anyone rightfullywould be, but the man had been in love with her for three goddamn years. Thatwasn’t something you could just turn off overnight.

(Jyn knew. She had tried once.) 

So she kept an arm slung around Cassian’s waist and chatted away aboutmostly meaningless things for a while until he could get his bearings (and histongue) back. Eventually, he managed to cut in over the conversation with arather strained and out of the blue,

“You – great! The ceremony was great!”

Danielle blinked a little, but otherwise carried on like normal. “Thanksso much,” she smiled daintily. “Hey, honestly it’s just good to see you guysagain! It’s been too long and apparently,” Jyn noticed her gaze harden just slightly around the edges. “I’vemissed a lot.”

“I s’pose there is a lot to catch up on,” Jyn noted. “Bodhi says hi, bythe way, and Kay says you can go something anatomically impossible.”

“Oh, Kay. He never gets old,” Danielle blatantly lied. “Not that I don’tLOVE your friends, but I was actually talking about you two! Like holy fuck,when did it become a thing? It’s so exciting!”

Her tone made it clear that it was not something to be excited about atall, but Jyn feigned the same enthusiasm anyway.

“Oh, it’s pretty recent,” she glanced at Cassian for help confirmingtheir made up story. They had spent their eight hour car journey here creatingit and honestly, it she had thought it worthy of an Oscar or two at one pointbefore they’d forced themselves to tone it down a bit.

“Hold up, hold up,” she had said somewhere around Yosemite NationalPark. “The key to a good lie is simplicity. The more dramatic, the more detailsyou have to remember, the less believable it becomes. You’re a decent bloke,but not even Danielle is going to buy that you surprised me with a weekend awayto Paris.”

“But I was going to photoshop us some photos and everything,” Cassianhad mock-complained.

“Maybe we save that story for when Danielle ultimately invites us to herthird baby shower,” Jyn rolled her eyes. “Let’s just go with the ‘we hooked upwhile watching a movie one night’ story.”

“But that one’s boring.”

“Are you kidding? It’s not boring at all,” she had insisted. “If anything,it’s the most romantic shit I’ve ever heard! I mean it’s two best friends andflatmates who have known each other for years taking a chance one night andhaving it pay off, like this is fucking romcom gold.”

“Ok, fine,” Cassian hadrelented.

She might have also thought of pitching the entire thing to Hollywood,but that wasn’t the point to be focusing on here. Danielle was still standingin front of her, impatiently waiting to hear some epic-worthy tale that couldpotentially rival her own and considering the expression that was currently onCassian’s face, Jyn knew that she was gonna have to be the one to tellit. She could practically see the man internally spiralling.

“So it just happened then, huh?” Danielle said through a strained smile.

“Yeah, one night we were watching a movie together,” Jyn quickly threwback. “Just something dumb, but it got us thinking and it was like… I don’tknow. A switch getting flicked somewhere. Next thing we knew, we were athing and we basically never looked back.”

She glanced up at Cassian. She was a little thrown to realise that hewas no longer staring at Danielle in utter distress, but now watching her. Shewasn’t ridiculous enough to insist that the story wasn’t a nice one to thinkabout – was there really anything more ideal than falling for someone youalready knew so well? Someone that you didn’t have to worry about annoying ormaking a good impression with, because they had already seen you at your 4amworst and didn’t care? – but imagining pretend scenarios wasn’t exactly goingto get you far in life. How bad would it be if she let herself indulge for aweekend? No matter how unhealthy it probably was, she wanted to pretend atleast for a little while that she had her life sorted.

(A part of her hoped that Cassian might be willing to pretend a bitlonger too).  

“You know, I knew it,” Danielle hastily cut in. “I don’t know how, but Ialways knew it was you two! OMG, you’re like a movie or something!”

“You know, we had that exact same conversation on our way here,” Jynsaid, pulling back to give Cassian a pointed look.

“Well then,” Danielle’s smile was definitely edging into painfulterritory now, but that was what Jyn was hoping for. “I guess I’ll, erm–”

Jyn didn’t let her answer. She reached up and threaded a hand intoCassian’s hair, ignoring Danielle completely as she hauled him into her body.Danielle’s words died off immediately as Jyn kissed him with edge, with armswrapping around his neck and with that kind of energy that suggested that theywere only minutes away from pushing each other up against the gifts table.Honestly, she forgot the wedding, the people and the ex-girlfriend for amoment. All she knew was the inside of Cassian’s mouth and the things itwas doing to her.

Danielle hovered awkwardly for the entire five minutes it took her tofinally realise that they weren’t surfacing anytime soon.

“Well, see you guys around then!” she eventually trilled.

“–oh fucking lord,” Cassian gasped, pulling away once she was out of theirline of sight. “Oh fucking LORD, we just did that. She just did that. Am Idead?”

“Not yet.”

“I thought you said no tongue?”

“I don’t bloody know, ok?” Jyn said exasperatedly. “By the time Irealised, I had already committed. Kill me all right?”

“Nah, nah, I mean,” Cassian coughed, avoiding her eye. “the tongue wasgood.”

Honestly, a part of her wanted to simply laugh back the tongue was good? but something shot through her at his words. Maybe it was theawkward way he said them, maybe it was the fact that she could still feel himagainst her mouth, but either way something choked her throat and settled inher chest. When she looked up at him she felt her face growing hot.

Blimey.

“Jesus Christ, this was an insane idea,” he added, hastily.

“Well, we can’t go back now,” Jyn said, shaking her head. “C’mon, mate.Let’s go dance.”

(An hour later, she was still ignoring whatever it was that was in herchest).

Neither of them claimed to be good dancers, but the open bar surehelped. “Honestly, the drunker we get the better,” Jyn had added at one point,seeing as every good wedding had to be ruined by at least someone who got toodrunk to function and eventually rounded off the night with throwing up into anewly gifted vase. Traditionally, the more she and Cassian drank, the more theyembarrassed themselves and the equation only got higher when you added the twoof them together.

It was the perfect combination, really.

“CAN YOU PLAY WEIRD AL’S AMISH PARADISE?” she had screamed at the DJ atone point. “THAT’S THE SONG WE FIRST HAD SEX TO!”

“IT WAS?” Cassian had yelled back.

“JUST GO WITH IT, BABE.”

And so the last hour had resulted in many, many dances to increasinglywedding-inappropriate songs that had the guests roaring with laughter andDanielle no doubt fuming at. Jyn’s memory admittedly got a little fuzzy aroundthe fifth (or maybe sixth?) champagne, but she certainly did remember wrappingherself around Cassian and sloppily making out on the dance floor to the sultrytunes of Big Sean’s ‘I don’t fuck withyou’.

Somewhere between the sixth and seventh drinks, they discovered thephoto booth in the foyer, complete with little basket of novelty props. A largecanvas was mounted on the wall next to it, currently half full with photostrips of varying wedding guests wearing miniature hats and sunglasses. ‘Please help us make our night memorable!’ a small note read above it and Cassian had gotten the idea thistime.

“I’m going to hell for this… but Jyn, would you please make out with mein the photo booth?”

“It’d be my fucking pleasure,” she had declared.

She was still laughing about it afterwards. Their photos they hadpurposefully posted right in the middle of the canvas, complete with thescrawled message of ‘thnx 4 inviting us!’. She had lost Cassian however during a trip to the bathroom, and shetried to not make it too obvious that she was staggering back into the hall,clinging onto the nearest table to stay upright. He wasn’t waiting where shehad left him, and couldn’t see him anywhere near the dance floor. For a moment,she panicked that he had somehow tracked Danielle down somewhere and was busybegging for her back, but no, Danielle was accounted for, currently making therounds and chatting to all of her guests. She caught her eye and Jyn mock wavedwith a grin, only to turn it into a curse when the woman apparently took it asher cue to come over.

“Fucking Jesus, Dani, I’m not drunk enough for this–” she whined.

Danielle stomped to a halt in front of her. The charade was gone. Allpleasantries left at the door. This was the bitch underneath the smiles and shewas apparently not humouring her anymore.

“What is your problem?” she snapped. “Why are you intent on ruining mywedding?”

“Hey, you fuckin’ invited me.”

“I invited Cassian,” she reiterated. “If I’d known he’d be bringing you, I wouldn’t havebothered.”

“Why did you bother, though?” Jyn tried very hard to keep track of theconversation. It was difficult when one could barely stand upright. “I mean,you broke his fucking heart, wasn’t that enough? Did you really have to stompall over it, too? Who the fuck even does that?”

“Oh, like you have literally ANY idea–”

“I see you didn’t answer the question–”

“I never meant to hurt him,” she suddenly bit out. “It wasn’t as if I wanted to cancel my own wedding twoweeks before! No one wants to fucking do that, but I was getting married forall the wrong reasons. Sure, it might’ve helped if I figured out howimmature and insecure I was being a bit earlier, but sorry that I’m a dumbass bitch whotook my sweet time, ok?” 

Jyn just stared at Danielle. It really wasn’t the story she had beenexpecting, but maybe it should have been. At the end of the day, Daniellewasn’t a bad person. She was certainly an annoying person, a self-centred andmanipulative person, but never bad. There was a woman in there that Cassian Andor had managed to fall inlove with after all, one that she had reluctantly called a friend. She wasstill in there.

That was good enough for her.

“Ok,” she said, simply.

Danielle nodded before taking the champagne glass out of Jyn’s hands anddraining it herself. “I am happy for you guys, by the way,” she insisted.

“You don’t have to–”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she gave a strained smile. “Honestly, maybe anotherreason I left breaking it off so late is because a part of me was secretlyhoping he would do it first.”

“Why in the hell would he have done that?”

“Because of you,” Danielle shrugged.

She found him outside.

Sat on the steps that led from the ballroom out onto the rolling lawnsof the hotel grounds, his back was only a silhouette but she knew it was him.She clung to the handrail until she could throw herself down beside him,nudging his shoulder lightly. “Hey,” she said. “you disappeared.”

He drew in a shaky, rattling breath, and it was only then she realisedthat he had been crying.

“Oh, fuck,” she said at once.

“I’m fine, Jyn.”

“No you’re not, you’re – oh,god –” She was ill-equipped to deal with emotions on her best of days! Whenshe was drunk, she may as well pat him on the head and say ‘there, there’ forall the good she could do. But still, this was Cassian so she had to try. Shewrapped both her arms around his, hugging it to her body and resting her headagainst his shoulder. Cassian sniffed loudly, rubbing a sleeve across his face,but thankfully not shoving her off. She stayed quiet until eventually, hecalmed down.

“This was supposed to be mine.”

She stayed staring off into the grounds, squeezing his arm tighter.

“All of this, Jyn. The wife, the wedding, the lifetime spent togetherforever, this was supposed to be mine. Where the hell did it all go wrong?”

“It’s not your fault,” Jyn murmured.

“Isn’t it? How did I not realise?” he said. “Honestly, there must havebeen warning signs, things that I ignored or something, because no one just dumps you twoweeks before your wedding out of the blue like that.”

 “I just spoke to her,” Jyn mentioned. “Well, I say I spoke to her,it was more like she cornered me… but she said some things. Do you want me totell you?”

He shifted a little and she knew he was glancing down at her. “Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Jyn, I need to know why she did this.”

She took a deep breath. “She said she realised she was getting marriedfor the wrong reasons. She did love you, but she mentioned the words immatureand insecure, so I’m guessing she only said yes to getting married because itwas the way to hold onto you… maybe she didn’t quite grasp the finality of itall until it hit her…”

Cassian sighed.

“She also mentioned me.”

FUCK.

She hadn’t meant to say that part. Hell, she still didn’t really knowhow to process that particular statement herself, that part was supposed to beburied and ignored for the rest of their given lives! Christ in heaven, youcouldn’t even give drunk her one job! She had no idea what to say to try anddefuse the situation (or even if anything COULD be said) and so she ended upstaying silent, her grip on his arm loosening a little.

When she tried to pull away, he grabbed her hand in the dark and pulledher back, holding it tight.

“Ah, well,” he was apparently going to laugh it off. “We always knew shedidn’t like you.”

“Dunno why,” Jyn said. “I’m a splendid bitch.”

“Look, please don’t think I blame you–”

“Nah, nah, shut up,” Jyn quickly waved past it. “Either way, are you oknow?”

“I’m far from ok,” Cassian mentioned. “but at least I think I’ll be ableto get over it. Someday.” 

“Good. Now let’s go bail early to piss her off one last time.”

“Sounds perfect.” Cassian was the first to move, heaving himself up onthe handrail before turning back to her and offering out a hand. Jyn stillwasn’t quite sure what exactly had gone down between them thisevening. More than a nothing, but less than a something… it waslike the idea of the two of them had simply been dangled teasingly infront of her nose and for the first time in her life, she was actually thinkingabout what it would be like to grab it. Jyn felt that undercurrent thatDanielle had always been so afraid of, the one that was currently thrummingbetween them, and the thoughts simultaneously terrified her and thrilled her…

(But they’d be fine. Tomorrow was a new day, and they would wakeup and this would all be fine). 

She took his hand.

“Thanks for doing this with me, by the way,” Cassian mentioned in thecar on the way home. 

“What, ruining your ex’s wedding for you?”

“Yeah, that,” he snorted. “We never mention the amount of kissing we’vedone to either Bodhi or Kay, by the way.”

“Oh, you can count on it,” Jyn said.

[flirting-with-psychology]

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? Nope

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? I don’t know, I guess in some ways yes, I expected to graduate college

Do you like someone? Yes

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? No

Are you happier now or three months ago? About equal, maybe a little happier now 

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Saw Guardians of the Galaxy Volume 2

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? Maybe like early 30s

Are you waiting for something? Yes, a boyfriend

If you could change your eye color would you? Yeah, I like green 

What was the weather like today? Warm

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I hope so

Does your ex still love/like you? Highly doubt it

Are you stubborn? Yes

Do you tend to hold a grudge? Depends 

Where were you at 9am this morning? Asleep 

How has the week been? Wild

Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in

Something you do a lot? Obsess over boys

How many states have you lived in? One

Can you commit to one person? Yes

Who was the last person to hold your hand? I think my friend Jessie

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Depends on what it is

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? I hope so

What do you miss most about your ex? Saying good morning instead of goodnight

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yes 

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He hosts band parties

Something you really want right now? A boyfriend

How long have you liked the person you like? Like a year and a half

Does any part of your body hurt right now? A little but not enough to move

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? Probably

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Currently

Are you happy with the way things are going? Ehh 

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Honestly no

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Nope! Feels good

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? Not recently

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Yes

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? No

Do you and your last ex hate each other? Not anymore

When was the last time you were sick? A couple months ago 

Are you one of those people who are always cold? I’m always hot

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Yeah

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes

When was the last time you got a haircut? Last summer?

Did you sing at all today? Yes

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? Weather, but I don’t have a car 

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? Like one 

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Typing 

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? I’d go just to see

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? Love

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? I personally don’t like them 

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Flared

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? Ballerina 

Honestly - can you say that looks don’t matter at ALL? No, they matter quite a bit

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? Stands

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? Mario 

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Yeah

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? Idk, I have multple best friends

Yes or no: Techno music? No

Yes or no: pigtails? I guess

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? No, they’re too expensive to be your best friend. Friends are free 

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Yes

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? I think so

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? No 

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? I can’t remember

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? No 

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Funny

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? Hella

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Yeah, he’s in band

How old is your oldest cousin? Idk I have all sorts of generations of cousins

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? I’d be mad

Your last relationship, who dumped who? He did

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Never officially had one

Is your home town nice? It’s pretty good

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? It would be fine probably

When/where did your last hug take place? Sometime yesterday

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? For most things

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? Yeah

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? My crush 

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? Yes

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? Yes I think so, and no they are not 

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? I would try to let him down easy

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. No, because you don’t know the person

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? No, it’s late 

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? A little

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? Yeah, there was this whole wild mix of my movie editing lab, one of my other teachers, Reign, The Amazing Race, this cute guy I met at graduation, and my roommate from Italy

[whalefairyfandom12]

Lie To Make Me Like You

Summary: 

“Phil Lester.” Dan supplied. “He’s my plus one.”

Charlie raised an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two of them suggestively. “Oh? How long have you two been together?”

Dan blanched. “Sorry, we’re not...actually--”

“A little over seven years, isn’t it Dan?” his mum piped up cheerfully. “I remember the first time you stayed over at Phil’s. You still haven’t stopped talking about him.”

“Maybe the next Howell wedding will be yours,” Mae teased, flicking the end of his tie.

Dan shot a look towards Phil, panic rising. Enough awkward socializing had made them fairly fluent in speaking through eye contact and minute gestures, and as their eyes met Phil smiled lightly as if to say ‘I’m okay with it if you are.’ Dan, being the incompetent, horribly introverted idiot he was, latched onto the idea and ran with it.“Yeah,” he said, laughing in a way that he hopes comes off more as fond and less what the fuck did I just get myself into. “Maybe.”

Notes: This was written for alittledizzy as part of Fandom Trumps Hate using the following prompt:

-Someone assuming Dan and Phil are a couple who doesn't recognize them and Dan and Phil letting them assume that and enjoying being able to act like a couple.

I had a lot of fun writing this and getting to work with you; thank you so much for bidding on my writing and I really hope you enjoy it :))

Word Count: 2302

    For the most part Dan tried to keep his personal and business lives separate. He wasn’t very close with most of his family, and enough encounters with viewers who didn’t quite grasp the concept of boundaries only served to reinforce this decision. Aside from his immediate family he rarely saw the rest of the Howell Clan, and so it was a bit of a surprise to receive an invitation to his cousin Mae and Charlie’s wedding.

    He vaguely remembered Mae--a precocious eight year old with a habit of pulling his hair, and the smiling woman on the front of the card bore a passing resemblance. To be perfectly honest he’d forgotten she existed; he didn’t think they’d spoken since they were children and he’d never heard of Charlie. His mum had wanted him to go, though, so naturally he’d forced Phil to come and suffer with him. While Phil might have had reservations about taking Dan to the Lester family gatherings, he had no such qualms about taking him to the Howells.

    His parents loved Phil, and even Adrian had a grudging respect for the man. Besides, Phil was better at tying ties, remembering general wedding etiquette, and covering Dan’s social ineptitude so there was that, too. The wedding ceremony had been quite long, but the food had more than made up for it. Dan had finished dinner feeling so full he felt a little like throwing up, but based on the heaping pile of food on Phil’s plate it didn’t look like the feeling was mutual.

   “It looks like you took half the dessert table,” he noted, taking a bite of the cake--some sort of lemon with vanilla frosting.

   Phil made a satisfied noise, popping another biscuit in his mouth. “It’s not my fault, I’m a growing boy.”

   “You’re pushing thirty.”

   He smiled sweetly. “You should keep a better eye on your cereal, then.”

   Dan noticed absently that Phil’s tie was the same shade of blue as his eyes. “I gave up a long time ago. I did try, but somebody kept stealing it.”

    Phil tried to straighten his features into the picture of casual concern, but the glimmer in his eyes betrayed him. “Hmm. Maybe you should try hiding it in a smarter place.”

    Dan rolled his eyes. “Or maybe I should find a new roommate.”

    “You wouldn’t.”

    “No, I wouldn’t,” he agreed. Someone tugged on the back of his hair, and he turned to find Mae standing behind him, beaming. It was good to know some things never changed. “Congratulations,” he said, the sentiment echoed by the rest of the people at the table. Charlie wrapped his arms around Mae’s waist, resting his chin on her shoulder. She smiled, resting a hand on his cheek.

    "I don’t think we’ve met,” Charlie said, eyes warm and brown.

    “Dan, Adrian, Donna, Steve, and…” Mae trailed, off, making a face and gesturing at Phil. “Sorry, I don’t think we’ve met either.”

    “Phil Lester.” Dan supplied. “He’s my plus one.”

    Charlie raised an eyebrow, eyes darting between the two of them suggestively. “Oh? How long have you two been together?”

    Dan blanched. “Sorry, we’re not...actually--”

    “A little over seven years, isn’t it Dan?” his mum piped up cheerfully. “I remember the first time you stayed over at Phil’s. You still haven’t stopped talking about him.”

    “Maybe the next Howell wedding will be yours,” Mae teased, flicking the end of his tie.

    Dan shot a look towards Phil, panic rising. You didn’t live together for half a decade as openly bisexual men without some rumors circulating, and that wasn’t counting the speculation online. But while he and Phil weren’t strangers to people assuming they were in a relationship, this was the first time it had been shoved unavoidably in front of them.

    Enough awkward socializing had made them fairly fluent in speaking through eye contact and minute gestures, and as their eyes met Phil smiled lightly as if to say ‘I’m okay with it if you are.’ Dan, being the incompetent, horribly introverted idiot he was, latched onto the idea and ran with it.

    “Yeah,” he said, laughing in a way that he hopes comes off more as fond and less what the fuck did I just get myself into. “Maybe.”

    He startled at Phil’s hand, the other man’s fingers curling around his reassuringly. It helped quell the impending anxiety by about five percent. “We don’t want to rush things,” Phil said smoothly.

     Mae snorted. “You’ve waited seven years. That’s way longer than Charlie and I did.”

     He shrugged. Dan had no idea how he was able to keep his calm so convincingly. “Neither of us would mind getting married someday, but our relationship has never been confined by things like that.” Phil’s gaze drifted back towards Dan, soft and gentle. They might be in danger of overdoing it,now. “Our--our bond has never been that simple. All I know is Dan is the most important person in my life, and I don’t think I could ever sum up all that means in one label.”

     His mum cooed, patting Phil’s cheek affectionately while Adrian mimed gagging from across the table. Mae was saying something else, but everything had faded into white noise. Dan found his eyes locking with Phil’s again, and he ducked his head, neck flaming crimson.

     Because the thing was, cheesiness aside, Phil sort of had a point.

    “I think you might’ve stolen the show for cutest couple,” Mae said.

     Charlie feigned hurt, pressing a hand to his heart. “Is it too soon to ask for a divorce?”

     “You never made an official announcement, but we always knew,” Donna said serenely, patting Phil’s free hand. “I’m just so glad you finally feel like you can tell us.”

    “What she means is you’re about as subtle as a fucking train inside of Buckingham Palace,” Adrian grumbled.

    A laugh escaped Dan, Phil’s brow furrowing in bemused amusement from beside him. “Nice analogy,” he said dryly, pushing down any lingering guilt from his mum’s statement. Sometimes he envied Phil’s relationship with Martyn; the two had always seemed close while his and Adrian’s relationship had been more turbulent. It was getting better now that they weren’t forced to live together, but they still had a long way to go.

    “How did you two meet?” Charlie asked.

    For some reason, explaining that he’d basically stalked Phil until they’d become friends tended to concern people. “Work,” Dan said. Technically it wasn’t a complete lie, but it was a far cry from the whole truth. Before the inevitable question of what he did for work could be asked, he tugged on Phil’s hand and dragged him towards the dance floor. “Sorry,” he said. “They're playing our song, but we’ll be back.” Needless to say, they didn’t have a song, but Phil smiled anyway and followed his lead.  

    “I didn't know Justin Bieber was our song,” the other man said once they'd reached the center of the floor, stepping closer and resting his free hand on the small of Dan’s back.

    “What else would it be?” Dan could sense his family's eyes boring into the back of his head, but he kept his focus trained on Phil. “Just pretend we’re back at the Brits.”

    “I’ll try not to step on your toes this time.” Phil led him backwards into an awkward makeshift shuffle, eyes trained on his feet in concentration.

    “You did beat me at Dance Evolution. Maybe it’s a sign you're getting over your clumsiness.” As if on cue, Phil’s elbow collided with the couple beside them.

    Phil cringed. “Sorry!”

    Dan snorted. “If we weren't dancing that'd be worthy of a slow clap. After all, this is you we’re talking about.”

    “Alright Mr. ‘Fell Up An Escalator,”

    “Thanks for reminding me. Way to reopen the repressed, aching wounds on my heart.”

    It's not often Phil makes barbed comebacks, but whenever he does there's a sparkle in his eyes that's otherwise absent. “What heart?”

   Dan stepped on the man’s foot a little too hard to pass off as an accident. “If only your subscribers could see you now, they'd know what a black cloud you are.”

    “A black cloud?”

    “Everyone thinks you're the sun, but we both know the truth.”

    “Huh. That's strange, I could've sworn I saw multiple gif sets on Tumblr of you calling me the sun.”

    Dan grumbled, slumping against Phil in defeat. “I changed my mind.”

    “At least I'm not darker than your soul. That's impossible.” At Dan’s glare Phil widened his eyes slightly, blinking up at him with a bright smile. Despite their (many) years of living together, Dan was still weak to Phil’s puppy dog eyes and the they both knew it.

    “I'm breaking up with you,” Dan said, pushing him away in an exaggerated movement as the song drew to a close. “I thought what we had was real, but I guess I was wrong.”

    “Not that I don't like being dumped, but do you want to continue this conversation outside?” Phil asked. “It's getting a little hot in here.”

    Dan grimaced, pushing his own sweaty fringe further off his forehead. “Good idea.” His hand found Phil’s again, the two weaving their way through the crowd and past the doors outside. He collapsed on one of the benches, Phil sitting beside him. The garden was almost empty, and the few people that were outside were talking in hushed tones.

     “It's a lot quieter outside,” Phil said softly. “Mae did a lovely job with the decorations.” Dan made a noise of agreement, the lanterns lining the path casting everything in a rosy glow.

    A couple are sitting on the bench across from them, heads bowed together and giggling quietly. It strikes Dan that their position is almost identical to theirs. “It's funny.”

   Phil started, head tilting to face his. “Sorry?”

   “Mum thought we were a couple all this time, but she never told me. And it's not just her, Dad and Adrian thought the same thing.”

    Phil shrugged, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Martin asked me if we needed to have a ‘special talk’ after meeting you.”

   Dan smiled slightly, picking at a loose thread on his tie. The next question bursts out before he can stop it. “Does it bother you that everyone thinks we’re dating?”

    “Not really, no. Does it bother you?” The implications behind the question were loaded, and Dan knew they were both thinking of 2012. But things had changed since then, and he'd come a long ways as a person.

    “No.” Dan said quietly, stomach twisting into knots as he pressed forwards. Something had been nagging him all night, but he was almost afraid to ask. “But...do you wonder if maybe they have a point?”

    “It's not like much would change,” Phil pointed out. “If we started dating.” He ducked his head, almost shy, and Dan wondered if he was just as nervous. “I’d still steal your cereal, leave my contacts on top of the sink, and leave every cupboard open,”

    “And I’d still yell at you for forgetting.”

    “And I’ll still knock on the wall and tell you to be quiet when you're awake at three in the morning.”

    “As long as you still make me a cup of tea when that happens I guess I’ll survive.”

    Phil eyes were bright, and something warm began to unfurl. “Only if I can pick the next anime.”

    Dan sighed, shaking his head. “You drive a hard bargain, Phil Lester.” He wondered when they'd started talking in ‘wills’ instead of ‘would’ves.’

    “So is that a yes?”

    “You haven't asked me anything yet,” Dan said, fighting the rising smile.

   Phil took a deep breath, eyes meeting Dan’s resolutely. “We could try it, if you want.”

    “Dating?” Phil nodded. “Does this mean I can change my Facebook status from ‘it’s complicated’ to ‘in a relationship?’”

    Phil rolled his eyes, punching him lightly in the arm. “If you're not careful you'll have to change it back to ‘single.’”

    “You love me too much.” As soon as the words left Dan’s mouth he froze. He hadn't meant the ‘l’ word to slip out so soon, (or easily,) but Phil didn't look phased.

    “I do.”

    Dan smiled, the feeling almost as warm as Phil’s body beside his. “I love you too. So does that make this our one and a half minute anniversary?”

    “I think you’re right. Happy one and a half minute anniversary,” Phil said. Dan laughed, resting his head against his boyfriend’s shoulder.

    “You too.”

    “I still get to pick the next anime,” Phil said seriously. “We made a deal.”

    Dan sighed. “I guess I’ll trust your judgement just this once, but you’d better not let me down.”

    “Will you dump me if I do?”

    He considered this for a moment. “Depends on what anime it is.”

    Phil laughed, shaking his head. “You’re the worst.”

    They sat in a companionable silence for the next few breaths, music and laughter drifting through the open door outside. Before meeting Phil, Dan had never thought it would be possible to fully relax and feel comfortable sitting in silence with another person. Phil was always proving him wrong, though, and Dan wouldn’t have it any other way.

    “How long have you two been together?” The couple across from them had finally separated, and the woman was regarding them curiously.

    Dan glanced down at his phone. “Three minutes and fifteen seconds.” He stifled a laugh at the surprised look on her face, turning to look at Phil instead.

    “Come on,” Phil said, pulling Dan to his feet. “I’m hungry.”

    “You're always hungry.” Dan rolled his eyes good naturedly, though he happily followed his boyfriend back inside. For once the crowds didn't feel suffocating, Phil’s hand warm and grounding in his.

[topicprinter]

Hey - Pat from StarterStory.com here with another interview.Today's interview is with Sam Evans (u/haulincubes) of You Call We Haul Junk Removal, a brand that makes junk removal servicesSome stats:Product: Junk Removal ServicesRevenue/mo: $18,000Started: May 2016Location: Central PennsylvaniaFounders: 1Employees: 3Hello! Who are you and what business did you start?My name is Sam Evans. I am 23 years old and a recent graduate from Penn State Altoona. I am the founder of You Call We Haul Junk Removal, a junk removal company that removes anything from single items to hoarder home cleanouts. We’re located in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and have been in business (part-time) since May of 2016.We service any and everyone who may have unneeded items they are looking to get rid of. People often ask what items we consider junk, to us junk is anything you no longer need or want.Our main customers are middle-aged and up adults, typically with a higher income that do not want to or are unable to do the work themselves. We complete over 75 jobs per month, bring in about $20,000 in revenue per month profiting about 65% per job.imageWhat's your backstory and how did you come up with the idea?When I was ending my freshman year of college, I was sitting in my dorm room one day when I got a call from my cousin. Both of us had been flipping items on eBay since we were 14 and always loved to find ways to make some extra money. He told me about a book called Effortless Entrepreneur, written by the founders of College Hunks Hauling Junk which is currently the world’s second-largest junk removal franchise.I ordered the book on eBay for $4 and as soon as it came to my dorm, I immediately started reading. About 20 pages into it, I called my Dad who is a used car salesman. I told him that I was going to start a junk removal company and that I needed his help finding a truck. After nearly a week of calling him telling him every reason I could come up with as to why I needed to start this company, he was finally in. He helped me find a $1,000 truck on Craigslist, a 1991 Ford F-150. imageI bought the truck, printed out some flyers at my school’s library, ordered a few hundred horrible business cards, and was officially in business.I had zero validation for the idea other than that big companies were making a killing doing it and I figured I could as well, after all, who doesn’t have some extra items lying around that they’re dying to get rid of? I minimized the risk as much as I possibly could because the truck that I bought was worth a lot more than the thousand dollars I paid for it. I knew that even if I failed, I would be able to resell the truck and make some money. Starting with a beater truck was my way of putting out a minimum viable product.I had zero expertise and am still learning every single day that I work on my business. The only business experience I had before this was flipping items on eBay and running Facebook pages while I was in middle and high school. When I was 14 I built, grew, and sold a network of Facebook pages with over 5 million daily active users that were based on different teenage jokes and issues at the time. The biggest page had over 3 million likes and was called I HATE WHEN MY PARENTS ASK WHO I’M TEXTING, if you were active on Facebook in 2010 and were in high school at the time, I bet you like the page - go check and let me know. My financial situation at this time was a few thousand dollars that I had in my bank account from these previous businesses. Knowing absolutely nothing ended up being an advantage. I failed a ton in the first few summers of running the business but learned more than I ever did in the classroom. Everything takes time and effort, if you put in the effort you will be successful in the long run in whatever business you decide to start.Take us through the process of designing, prototyping, and manufacturing your first product.There was no design process when I started out. I put out the most minimal viable product I could. The truck was cheap but luckily it did not have any rust so it had a tiny bit of curb appeal if you appreciate old Ford trucks. My flyers and free craigslist posts were really the reason I started to get business.In my area, saying you are a Penn State student or graduate holds a lot of weight and people love to support a fellow Penn Stater. On these flyers and posts, I really honed in on the fact that I was a current PSU student home for summer vacation, looking for a way to make some extra money. The original flyer had a picture of a roommate of mine holding up a random couch that we found sitting in a field by campus.I did not do anything legally for almost two years after starting this business, as I ran it only in the summer while home from school and on breaks when I could actually find some work. My first summer in business in 2016, we did barely $3,000 in sales. Once I took the business legal 2 years later before my senior year of college, I had about $1,200 in total legal and insurance costs to turn into a legitimate business. Upon graduation and taking the business full-time, the costs of insurance ramped up having employees and a much larger truck.Describe the process of launching the business.When we first started we did not have a website, Facebook page, or Instagram account. We spread the word by taping flyers to mailboxes, free Craigslist posts, and sharing screenshots of our flyers in local Facebook groups which were our biggest source of customers.It took us about a week to get our first customers and we were profitable by the end of month one in which we did about $2,000 in sales. Starting with very humble beginnings in a beat-up old Ford truck and no advertising budget taught me that just getting started and taking action is the most important step. When it comes to service businesses that are already a proven model, I always think about the line from Field of Dreams, “If you build it they will come.” Whether it is junk removal, landscaping, garage door repair, or any other home service business, proven models like that work.I also learned that even having a small web presence like a Wix website or a Facebook page can do wonders. Showing people what you do rather than telling them is key to any business becoming successful.Since launch, what has worked to attract and retain customers?Since launch, the only paid advertising we have done is Facebook ads. We are starting to roll out Google ads this month but Facebook has done wonders for our business thus far. If I were to restart, I wouldn’t put as much faith in Facebook ads as I did though because the costs have nearly doubled in the past year.We typically spend less than $600 a month on ads but really need to up the ad spend to reach our current goals. We do a ton of grassroots marketing. Bandit signs, stickers, signs in customer’s yards, door hangers, giving out t-shirts, etc.image imageOur biggest successes from organic marketing have come from midnight bandit sign drops. Going out in the middle of the night allows us to put out 50-60 signs in high traffic areas in under three hours. We map out where to put them based on incomes in various local zip codes. Zip code incomes can be found through USPS Every Door Direct Mail tool. We’ve also been utilizing the Nextdoor app which is tremendous for home services. If you are recommended on that app, customers treat it like the bible. They will hire you blindly and agree to any price you say.We also post on social 2-4x per day, every single day. It is a great way to gain customers organically and get a lot of exposure for the company. Videos work great for home services because as I’ve said before, people want to see who they’re hiring to come into their homes, especially women hiring men. They want to be able to trust a brand and social media is a great way to build that trust for free.https://www.instagram.com/p/B4prmVJHDvC/How are you doing today and what does the future look like?Today, we are growing every single month. We are doing about a 75% profit margin on each job but expect that to go down over time as we hire more employees and acquire more trucks. We are going to start investing a lot more heavily in PPC ads and SEO to gain more exposure in our area. Right now we have about 1,200 facebook likes and a little over 700 Instagram followers. We typically have about 400 people visiting our site each month. Short term we want to reach 100 jobs completed in one month and hit $30,000 in monthly revenue. We believe we can do that with the one dump truck we currently have as long as we up our ad spend.Long term, we want to franchise the business. Junk removal is growing at an extremely fast pace as we live in a society that thrives on convenience and wants to show off to their peers, so people are buying more items than ever before. Studies have shown that less than 2% of people know how to get rid of unneeded items so the industry is really just getting started.We’re confident that through the culture we are building we can get our employees on board to start their own locations. We will give them the choice of where they want to start because we believe the model we’re perfecting will work in any location. Junk removal is an extremely fun business because no two days are the same, you meet very interesting people, and you never ever know what you are going to find.Employees love it because they can keep some of the stuff they find too which makes it all that much more enjoyable. It really is the perfect, simple business model that anyone who is willing to hustle can start and succeed in.Through starting the business, have you learned anything particularly helpful or advantageous?Since I’ve started this business I have really learned to appreciate services. The home services industry in particular is only going to grow in the next 5-10 years. We’re moving away from the times of people wanting to do everything on their own. Our society is starting to value time over money and that means paying people to do the things they do not want to do, like removing the broken freezer from their basement.I was very lucky to start my business during college when I really could not fail. Being able to work on it for three summers and research it not stop during the school year set me up to succeed post-graduation. I didn’t have to jump in blindly and hope it would work, I had already proven the model and created a solid base of customers that were constantly referring me business.One of the best decisions I made was joining a junk removal mastermind group. It taught me more in 3 months than I learned in 4 years of college studying business. I highly recommend that people try to find Facebook groups or subreddits where they can share ideas with other owners in their industries and if there aren’t any, start one.What platform/tools do you use for your business?Platforms I use are: Facebook, Instagram, YouTube for learning, Housecall Pro, Quickbooks Online, Nicejob.What have been the most influential books, podcasts, or other resources?Books:The Power of BrokeEverything by Malcolm Gladwell to challenge how I thinkEverything by Dale Carnegieto challenge how I interact with otherLiving With a SealThe Last LecturePodcasts:How I built this with Guy RazThe Home Service ExpertHumans 2.0Business WarsApps:Alarmy- I used to hit the snooze button multiple times, every single morning. This app allows you to find a barcode in your home or elsewhere and scan it, you then have to scan the barcode to shut off your alarm. There’s no other way to get it to stop other than to scan that barcode. It’s a blessing and a curse, trust me.Advice for other entrepreneurs who want to get started or are just starting out?Start. Just start. If everyone waited for the right time to start, we wouldn’t have any entrepreneurs. Don’t think you need to know everything, no one knows everything. Take a ton of risks, every successful person ever credits their risk-taking ability with them becoming successful. Don’t try to build the next Facebook or Instagram, you do not need to reinvent the wheel. I bought a thousand-dollar pick-up truck and got started.If you over-think things it just makes it harder for you. Put out a minimum viable product and hustle, the results will come if you do not stop.Most people think they’ll make a ton of money and their business will boom from the beginning. Rarely is that ever the case. Give it time, lots of it, and do everything in your power to grow your business. Everything takes time and effort, if you put in the effort you will be successful in the long run in whatever business you decide to start.Where can we go to learn more?WebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedinIf you have any questions or comments, drop a comment below!Liked this text interview? Check out the full interview with photos, tools, books, and other data.For more interviews, check out r/starter_story - I post new stories there daily.Interested in sharing your own story? Send me a PM

[shitlessful]

@ 3:12 pm

Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? Nope, in fact we are broken up

Looking back, did you ever think you would be where you are now? Definitely not. I thought I would be at a much happier place and achieved much bigger things at this point in life.

Do you like someone? Some feelings are still lingering

Is a best friend pissing you off right now? Nope, she never does

Are you happier now or three months ago? Honestly lol. This past 3 months in general have been pretty shitty. I hope things get better from here on out

What’s the greatest thing that happened to you today? Being able to sleep in a little.. lately that has been quite difficult

How old do you think you will be when you finally have kids? By 30? I hope it’ll fall in the range of 27-30 aha

Are you waiting for something? Yes. Waiting for myself to recover

If you could change your eye color would you? Ooooh, light brown hazel eyes

What was the weather like today? Clear sky and sunny

Do you think you’ll be married in ten years? I hope to be

Does your ex still love/like you? Lmao no. If he did, he wouldn’t have treated me like shit

Are you stubborn? Oh yeah, extremely

Do you tend to hold a grudge? I don’t really want to, but sometimes I can’t help

Where were you at 9am this morning? In bed

How has the week been? Pretty normal..

Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in after work

Something you do a lot? Chase my own thoughts in my head a lot

How many states have you lived in? Just one

Can you commit to one person? Yes. I’ve learned that I’m a really damn loyal person, even when that person wasn’t worth it

Who was the last person to hold your hand? Can’t recall

How many chances do you tend to give people before enough is enough? Ugh, there isn’t an exact number. But I always give out more than enough, and it’s so very sad

Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in 10 years? For sure. Closer than ever

What do you miss most about your ex? How nice he was

Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Uhm, I can’t distinguish between attraction and comfort w/ him..

What’s a fact about the last person you kissed? He’s a cheater

Something you really want right now? To be at a good place: physically, mentally, and emotionally.

How long have you liked the person you like? I don’t wanna say that I like anyone right now. Just a whole lot of hatred

Does any part of your body hurt right now? My arms when I stretch it, good hurting tho bc I worked it out the other day

Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? No, we were in a dark room

Can you recall the last time you liked someone? Yeah I can. I remember innocently liking him before things got messy

Are you happy with the way things are going? I’m neutral about it. If I could choose, I wouldn’t want all this to be going on right now. But honestly, this will all be worth it one day

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Aha I doubt it. I want to focus on myself for a good while

What plans do you have for tomorrow? Just work

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn’t? All my fake roommates, when we broke up- I sadly lost my relationship w/ everyone at that house also

Ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? Man, the amount of emotions I feel reading this question. I gave out way much more than I should’ve, to someone who walked all over my feelings multiple of times

Have you ever kissed the last person you texted? Aha my cuz Ty, he kissed me on the forehead & cheeks. Does that count?

Do you and your last ex hate each other? I hate him rn yes. I do hope that one day I can free myself and not give a care anymore

When was the last time you were sick? Don’t remember, I never get sick

Are you one of those people who are always cold? My hands are always cold during the winter

Do you tend to waste a lot of money? Kind of, I wish I was better at saving

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No. The two were my bf at one point, so there’s no regrets at all

When was the last time you got a haircut? I think in June?

Did you sing at all today? To the radio yeah

Would you rather be able to control the weather or control traffic? Control over the weather! I’d make it cold and gloomy all the time

Do you own any articles of clothing with skulls on it? I don’t

Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? I think it’s the same for both

If you won a trip to a nude beach would you go or give the trip away? LOL. I would go for the experience cause why not

In your opinion which is the stronger emotion: love or hate? Love

Tongue piercings - cute or trashy? I gots one, I think it’s cute w/ a hint of wild

When it comes to jeans: skinny, flared or boot cut? Skinny

Would you rather be a star ballerina or a star break dancer? Star break dancer

Honestly - can you say that looks don’t matter at ALL? Honestly, no. Physically looks actually play a role

When it comes to Baseball would you rather be on the field or in the stands? Neither, not really into baseball

I’ve got to know, who do you prefer: Mario or Luigi? Mario

Have you ever changed clothes in a public area (not a dressing room)? Yeah, at Coachella

How many months apart is your birthday from your best friends? Just 6 days

Yes or no: Techno music? No

Yes or no: pigtails? Yes

They say diamonds are a girls best friend; what do you say? Diamonds are nice. But there other things I wish to have in life

Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Probs

Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yeah.. he was lazy and never really likes to shave

If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? I don’t think it would be easy, but one can do anything if they put their mind to it

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a letter P? Nope

Did you talk to one of your best friends today? What did you talk about? Not yet

Do you get on better with funny or serious people? Funny people

Do you have mood swings around the time of the month? Never, thank goodness for that

Have your friends met the last person you kissed? Yeah

How old is your oldest cousin? I think like in the 40′s

What if you saw your best friend holding hands with your ex? That would never happen

Your last relationship, who dumped who? I’m unsure. We both gave up together

How old were you when you had your first boyfriend/girlfriend? 17

Is your home town nice? It’s humid af, but it could be nice

What if you got stuck in a lift with the last person who Facebook messaged you? I forgot who last messaged me

When/where did your last hug take place? A hug... lol I cannot remember

Do you consider yourself mature enough to make your own decisions? Yeah, I think my I’m mature enough

Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? No.. I wish mom was more into that stuff. The talking stories and being my friend type of mom

You get a text from someone saying that they want to hang out - who would you most like it to be from? Myra or Abelhoe

Do you and your friends have any inside jokes? “It don’t matta” & “It’s summer!” w/ Julieanne and Myra

Do you think someone has feelings for you? Are these feelings returned? No, and no

What if the last person you texted were to ask you out? Ahaha but he’s my cousin

Do you believe in love at first sight? Explain. I believe in it.. but I think the chance of it happening is extremely low. How could you love someone before knowing who they really are?

Would you prefer to be somewhere else right now? If so, where? And why would you prefer to be there? I’m at a coffee shop, it’s pretty peaceful so I’m alright

When you listen to music, do you ever find that the songs affect your moods and change how you feel? Definitely, more than I wish they could affect me sometimes

Can you remember what you dreamt about last night? I think sex while I’m on my period or something aha

[russellthornton]

Social Media and Relationships: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly

Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter are all fun, but are they helping or hurting your life? Here’s the scoop on social media and relationships.

Ten or fifteen years ago, the average person hadn’t even heard of the term “social media.” But now, it’s a central part of most people’s lives, especially with young people. While it is fun and everything, have you ever thought about the interconnection between social media and relationships?

Gone are the days of calling your boyfriend or girlfriend’s house and having their parents answer the phone. Today, it’s all about messaging each other on social media. But is this necessarily a positive change? Let’s take a look, starting with what’s good about social media and relationships.

The GOOD about social media and relationships

When Facebook first went mainstream around 2008, many people were excited about it. They saw nothing but possibilities when it came to relationships. So let’s see how social media and relationships is a good thing.

#1 It re-connects you with old friends. Never thought you’d ever see or hear from that boy you had a crush on in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade? Well, now you can! It seems like you can re-connect with everyone and anyone. It’s really fun to see what your old friends are up to these days, even if you’re a new high school graduate. [Read: Why social media is killing your relationships]

#2 It helps you stay connected to family. Many of us do not live near our families. So, for instance, when a  couple has a new baby, it’s great for the rest of the family to be able to “be there” as the new child is born. And then all the pictures to follow makes it feel like you’re not so far away from each other.

#3 It’s right at your fingertips. Picking up the phone and calling someone takes time, effort, and sometimes even planning. But talking to someone on social media is as easy as 1-2-3 because almost everyone is attached to their phones these days.

#4 You can engage in interesting conversation and debates. I know we all cringe when there are political debates on social media. However, it does provide us the opportunity to have debates with other people about important things. It can be a great way to interact with others while exercising your brain at the same time.

#5 You can meet new friends. I have met some of my good friends via Facebook, and I’m sure you have too. Social media allows us to connect to new people who we might have never met if it weren’t for the fact that we are exposed to so many people on social media. [Read: 9 Social media sites to use to snag yourself a date]

#6 You can meet people with similar interests. Interested in spirituality? Hiking? Football? Well, there are so many groups on Facebook that you can regularly interact with other people who have the same interests as you do.

The BAD and the UGLY things about social media and relationships

As we all know, social media isn’t always fun and games, or wine and roses. In fact, social media and relationships are sometimes a bad combination. So let’s take a look at the bad and the ugly things about social media and relationships.

#1 Ohhhh, the misunderstandings. We’ve all been there. You say something in a status update about how annoyed you are with certain kinds of people. And then your friend Jane thinks that you’re talking about HER, when in fact you were talking about your boss. Then she gets mad at you. Hmmm. Bad deal. [Read: The happy couple’s guide to social media etiquette]

#2 The “relationship status.” So, you’re dating a new person? Awesome! You’re in love? Great! But… uh oh. Should you put “In a Relationship With… “ on your profile? What if the other person doesn’t want to? What does that mean? Is the relationship doomed? Ohhh, the questions… [Read: Facebook official relationship – Is your guy ready for it?]

#3 The jealousy. Your friend from high school just got married to the man of her dreams. And your college roommate is posting about the amazing European vacation he is on. Dang. Don’t you feel like a loser now? Jealousy can be such a horrible thing when it comes to social media and relationships.

#4 The number of likes. If you’ve been on social media for longer than a minute, you know that some people literally measure their self-worth by the number of likes they get on a picture or posting. And then they think that no one likes them. Sad, so sad. Right? [Read: Couples and social media PDA – To share or not to share?]

#5 The passive aggressive status updates. You’re mad at your boyfriend, so you think long and hard about what status update will get his attention and make him jealous… without being obvious. Like, going out with a group of friends, and then taking a picture with some hot guy you just met and posting it. Yeah, um, not a good idea. Unless you want to be single again.

#6 The “humble brag.” We all know what this is. It’s the person who says, “I’m so blessed! I can’t believe that God brought me enough money to buy my dream house!” or “I am so blessed to be married to my best friend! What a lucky guy I am!” It’s where someone tries to appear humble, but they’re really bragging. Barf.

#7 The narcissism. I’m sure you know the “Selfie Queens” just like I do. They’re everywhere. But needing and wanting all the focus and attention on you is very narcissistic. And narcissism is definitely not a quality you want to have in a healthy relationship. [Read: 11 Things couples should quit doing on social media]

#8 Less face-to-face interaction. A lot of people find themselves going out and seeing people in person less and less. In some ways, it’s just easier to talk to them on social media.

The younger generation might not even know what it’s like to hang out, talk, and not look at their phones. Pretty soon we’ll all just be isolated with our phones and never leave the house to actually see people.

#9 The fake relationships. So you have 3,000 friends? Great! Congratulations. But, uh, how many of them have you met in real life? Probably very, very few. It makes people feel popular when they have a lot of friends and followers, but it’s not real. It’s just an illusion.

#10 The affairs. Hey, it’s great that you found and re-connected with your girlfriend from high school who dumped you *and you still haven’t gotten over*. But you’re married. And she’s married. Oh heck! Who cares, right?! Well, your spouses do. Social media makes it way too easy to cheat.

[Read: 8 Annoying social media users that make you want to scream]

Hey, I love Facebook and social media just as much as the next person. And it’s not inherently bad – or good. It’s all about how you use it. But, just keep in mind that the interconnection of social media and relationships is a powerful one.

The post Social Media and Relationships: The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.