#my other hot take is that they should never have put in a fast convo option

[henrikvanderhussy]

Okay, we've gotta talk about The Silent Spy. I didn't remember much about it before replaying, and you never really see anyone calling it their favorite game, so I knew it wasn't going to be great, but I was still disappointed.

Similar to The Shattered Medallion, which I talked about here, I do think there's a GOOD game in there somewhere, but it's bogged down in some really messy structural problems.

Those problems are also very similar to MED's problems, which makes sense since MED was the next release after SPY. Just like in MED, the character interactions were all over the fucking place. I felt like I had the same conversation with each character about 12 times. Asking Moria "What was the Colony operation?" I dunno Nancy, maybe you could have figured it out from the newspaper article, the archives database, the info from every other character, or the papers at the cabin. And it feels like this is something that would have been relevant way earlier in the game.

But then at the same time, there are these bizarre jumps where it seems like you've missed conversations. We're asking Ewan if we should trust Alec when we've never even talked to Ewan about Alec before and there's no reason they should know each other.

Speaking of feeling like I missed stuff, the poem was the worst. "I need the full color copy of my mom's Jabberwocky poem" Girl, what Jabberwocky poem?? Apparently it was in Nancy's luggage, but the luggage gets stolen immediately when you start the game and we have no idea what's inside of it. She briefly says something to Alec about a poem, but that was after Nancy already noted she needed it to solve a puzzle.

Also similar to MED, there was such a weird manufactured sense of urgency. I was soooo very frustrated by the tests set by Revenant. I got the first call and thought "hmm, not sure what choice I want to make. I'll poke around at some other things first and then decide if I want to follow their instructions or not." Then all of a sudden I get a call saying that I've failed their test.

How was I supposed to know there was a time limit? What was the time limit based on anyway? Was it a literal amount of real-world time? Did I trigger another plot point in the game that ended the window? Hell if I know

The result is that you're left feeling like things could end or change at any moment and you have to do them quickly, but also simultaneously feeling as if it doesn't matter since obviously the game will continue anyway if you miss anything time-sensitive.

A weird combo of both stressed and 'eh fuck it'. Thanks I hate it.

This post is getting longer than I planned, but here's the thing, I actually think these problems could have been addressed with a really simple fix: Let Nancy sleep.

If the call from Revenant says "you have until midnight to give us what we want," then the player knows that if they want to follow the instructions, they need to do it before sending Nancy to bed.

If all of that weirdness in character conversations was because I was talking to characters and doing things out of the intended order, then structure the game so that certain things need to happen before you can go to bed ("I can't sleep yet, I have to xyz!"). Then make it so other actions can't happen until the next day. VOILA, problem solved.

You still want the structure to be somewhat loose to allow the player to explore, and so not everything should be confined to specific days, but it would allow linearity in the things that do need to be linear.

Nancy has a hotel room! There's already a bed and everything! It would have been simple to put in a sleep mechanic, just like in so many of the other games.

Look, I'm not a game designer, so I'm definitely speaking more confidently than I have any right to, but I just feel like the problems in The Silent Spy are fixable! And I really wish they had been fixed!

[barbiecrocs]

Hard to hate.

Eddie Munson

tags! enemies to lovers, no piv, no spoilers for s4, oral (female receiving), fingering, teasing, pet names (princess), name calling (dingus), hair pulling, cumming in pants, underage drinking

I think that's it. Lemme know if I missed something.

WC.5433

Barbies note...So I mention the Cityman Nokia but that came out in 87 so the story is set really early 87 and they are abt the graduate. Ik the time line doesnt make sense, but dont worry abt it😝. Anyway, enjoyyyy

You loved your friends, and it's been a while since you've last hung out, but what you wouldn't give right now to be home alone with a bag of hot fries and some horror flicks. Yeah, sure you said, "Steeeeeeeevie, we should kick it at your house tonight." Making finger guns at him while everyone piggybacks off of that thought. Robin butting in, "Fast times?" She nods with two thumbs ups directed at an unamused Steve.

 "Ugh, again?" Nancy complains, rightfully so. 

"What, it's a good movie." Robin gestures to you as back up, but you put your hands up in defense, not wanting to pick sides. It was a good movie though, but at the same time, it was worn out.

"No, that movie is so run through by all of us. How many times have we rented it from Family Video now? For heaven's sake, I'd rather watch a horror movie at this point!"

"Wow, Nancy. Daredevil, you. Maybe we a porno instead or something. Eddie wouldn't mind, nor would Steve." She teases. 

And that's where you exit the convo. At the name drop of Eddie. Your eyes flicker around the video store, eye catching titles such as Nightmare on Elms Street, Sixteen Candles, and Fame pop out at you before you catch Steve mouthing a Fuck you while giving you the jack-in-the-box middle finger. Cranking and cranking until it pops out. You give him a playful smirk and an eyeroll, typing in the 'F•r•i•e•n•d•s' group chat that's name was always being changed to some joke like 'Brad's bud-lings' or Linda's Bralette. All Fast Times references made by Robin, each one deserving an eyeroll. "HANG OUT AT STEVE'S TONIGHT!!" you relay. Even though the only person you'd be informing is Eddie and maybe Chrissy if she reads the group chat. Only popping in to say hi every few weeks. 'What could possibly be keeping her so busy?' The question always circles your mind before being brushed off. 

Steve's phone pings, looking down at it in hopes that it doesn't say what he thinks it says. Nope, it says exactly what he didn't want it to say. He glares at you, gently bumping shoulders with you when he walks over, inching his way down to your ear. "I hope you know that you're driving them." He taps your shoulder for fake comfort, not understanding the big problem.

—

 The feeling of a headache coming on from the noisy car says it all. You should've taken the warning when Steve dished it, too bad you didn't know. Nancy and Eddie talk loudly in the backseat, trying to hear each other over Madonna's 'Material Girl' that Robin put into your car's DVD player. 

 'A couple more blocks. Just a couple more blocks and I can just chill at Steve's house and watch movies or whatever he has planned this time. Maybe we'll watch Fast Times again, it never gets old. Or something new like Pretty in Pink, yea that came out recently.' The thought relaxes you before Robin brings back all the stress, placing a lukewarm beer on your skater denim thighs. Your favorite low-rise jeans. They were a dark wash color, a perfect fit and were tattered with embroidered stars with a little distress.

 "Care for a beer?" She asks, a tad too loud for your close proximity, "Oh my god Robin, for the last time, NO.  And you reek of beer, get back." She rolls her eyes at your order, "Ugh rude! Don't be such a bummer, just take the beer. See? Here, I'll help you since your hands are full." She drunkenly puts the unopened beer can to your lips, tipping it up and down. "Huh, nothing's coming out, strange-", you grab both of her wrists with one hand and turn down the volume, "Robin! For heaven's sake please put it down, you're blocking my vision. Gosh, who the hell let her sit in the front! Guys mind giving me a hand? Geez!" You continuously swat Robin's hands away while trying to keep a steady steering hand. "Princess, you let her sit in the front. Remember? So, you did that to yourself." 

"Okay well, I wasn't expecting much help from you anyway. And stop calling me princess, dingus." 

"Stop calling me dingus, princess." He retorts with a chuckle in his voice. That motherfucker, he probably gets off on stressing and teasing you.

 Nancy grabs onto the back of your seat, pulling herself towards you, "Nuh uh, no, not today. Both of you shut up. You're acting like children. Why do you hate each other so much anyway?" You both shut up, waiting for the other to give a response.

 You didn't answer because you didn't actually hate Eddie. You only acted like this because he hated you first. Well, you interpreted it as hate. He would just straight up ignore you. You used to have a crush on him, giggling like a little schoolgirl when he'd pass you in the halls. You thought that maybe he was just dense, but then your best friend Chrissy exposed your little crush to him. Yet, he still did nothing about it. 

 None of that mattered your junior year though. You decided to put yourself out there like Chrissy did. You were social, prettier, and had the school's hotshot, Jason Carver on your arm. He wasn't your type, but everyone kissed the ground you walked on so why complain? Why complain about the times he would chew with his mouth open? Why complain about the times he'd brag about how your tits bounced when he fucked you? Totally leaving out the part where he only lasted 30 seconds of the "pounding" he gave you. You'd always rant about it to Chrissy, both of you rolling your eyes and snickering when he'd talk about it.

 Through Chrissy, you met Steve, Nancy, and Robin, all your best friends to this day. Y'all would go out for milkshakes, watch movies, go to the mall and have a blast. Things were settling down nicely for your senior year. 

 But then, Eddie wormed his way back into your life through your shared friends and classes. Suddenly, ignoring and hating him was starting to get exhausting. How could you hate someone with good music taste? You'd act disgusted when his trashy drug den of a van pulled into the school's student parking lot or Steve's driveway. Then you'd notice Metallica's 'battery' pouring out the speakers of his car and can't help but bob your head.

 Then there was his sweet and smile. His smile was angelic. All the leather studded jackets and band patches in the word couldn't dim the brightness that is his smile. It was a little crooked, but his lips were perfect.

 And his hair– God, his hair. How much you longed to curl your fingers in his soft frizzy locs. Run your fingers through and grip it at the scalp while he devours you like a starved man– No. You are past that phase and over him. But as you'd like to think, none of that mattered anymore. You broke up with Jason, still had your friends, and still didn't like Eddie. If only you knew that Eddie never actually hated you either.

–

You swallow hard at the question that sits tensely in the air between you two. He notices your silence on the topic, a smug grin easing its way to his face, "Cat got your tongue?" You can hear the teasing sarcasm in his voice, practically oozing out his mouth. "Oh yeah? Why don't you answer it? You have a mind and mouth of your own." Glares exchange through the rear view mirror before you break away.

 "Nancy, please." You plea, not waiting for Eddie's clapback. Nancy sighs, not wanting to hear you both argue like kids anymore. "Okay. Come on Robin, you've had enough time in the front seat." She skillfully maneuvers Robin out the front seat and buckles her into the back with them, all in the blink of an eye. "Thank you." You give her a sickly sweet smile and shoot Eddie a nasty look. A couple more turns and you arrive at Steve's house.

 "We're here, kids. Get the hell out of my car." You joke. "Let me remind you to never have kids." Eddie chuckles. You try your hardest to seem indifferent from that and the banter you had with him in the car, but your demeanor still slips from under your hands. "Right, says the druggie and seller. Plus, I don't think your house is in living condition for kids or anyone ever." You slam your car door, locking it and marching up to Steve's door with a tired look plastered on your face. 

"Hah, she called you a druggie. Me personally, Eddie. I wouldn't take that." Robin laughs, leaning on Nancy's shoulder as she pulls her out the backseat. Eddie punches her arm, "Yeah whatever. And you know damn well that you'd take that." 

"Yeah, I would." She bites her lip in thought.

You bang on Steve's door again, pulling out your phone to call him since he still hasn't answered the door. You guys have been standing out on the porch for what, 5 minutes? "Knock again, maybe you didn't do it hard enough." Nancy suggests. You knock again, putting your ear to the door. "Oh wow, look at Sherlock over here." He taunts and you flip him off. "Shut up. There's music blasting through the door. No wonder he can't hear us." "Okay well, can you make him hear us, because Robin's really heavy." Nancy readjusts Robin on her shoulder while you dial Steve's number on your Cityman Nokia. "Well, aren't you updated with the times?" Eddie glares at your phone. It had just dropped at the beginning of the year. Within seconds of it ringing the door flies open with a casually dressed Steve leaning against the doorway and a turkey sandwich in his hand.

 He takes a bite, "So how was the drive?" A genuine question that you can't help but lean into his chest, head first. "Haha, very funny. You knew damn well what you were doing when you said I was driving." You put more of your weight onto him and he pats the top of your head for comfort. "Oh haha. Lemme guess, Robin road in the front?" You nod, "Damn, drunk?" You nod again as he looks up from the top of your head to Robin. "Damn, want a sandwich?" You nod once more. "Can we please hurry this interaction up or give me a hand." Nancy gestures to Robin. Steve finishes his sandwich and shuffles you inside.

——

"Mhm! Oh my god, Steveeeee." You moan, dancing in your seat. "This is so good!" Eddie rolls his eyes at your chipperness. The entirety of bacon, lettuce, tomato, avocado, and turkey all toasted on one sandwich. Steve laughs, enjoying your enjoyment. "Glad you like it. I usually have mine with chips, but I ate the last bag yesterday."

 "That's fine. Got any pop?" You bounce happily in your chair before your mood is abruptly ruined by Eddie interjecting from the other side of the island. "I'm sorry, what? Pop? You mean soda? Hell, I'd even take soda pop or fizzy pop, but just pop?" You stop dancing to give emphasis to you not liking his tone or the fact that he was talking to you in general. "Yes, just pop. Steve knows what I'm talking about anyway. Isn't that right?" You put a hand out waiting for said drink to be put in your hand. The refrigerator opens and closes and the cold drink is placed into your palm then you shove it in his face. It was Coca-cola. Eddie sighs, fingers rubbing the space between his eyes, not bothering to continue the argument. "Dingus." You say under your breath, cracking open the can. 

"So, what do you guys want to do?" Steve pauses, rounding the counter and plopping down on the floor across from Nancy and Robin. "Because I don't have a movie planned."

 A sharp gasp comes from Robin. "No Fast Times?"

"No? That movie is worn out anyway. Maybe another day though." He says, getting up to look at his movie catalog before Nancy excitedly jumps up. "YES! THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. IT'S SO WORN OUT." She says, earning a silent laugh from you. You catch Eddie glaring at you once more. "Why can't you ever take your eyes off of me? I always catch you staring." You say, finishing your sandwich. "Because, I'm just so in love. Your beauty is captivating, my love." He says, almost making it sound genuine, but the hint of sarcasm gives it away. "Oh, watch out. You almost made me fall for it." You finish your sandwich and join the others in the living room.

"How about marry, kiss, kill?" You suggest, taking a memory foam pillow from the sofa and sitting down at the coffee table. Robin suddenly takes interest in the convo ever since getting shut down for the movie. "Ooooh, good one. How about we add fuck, too. Just to spice it up." 

 Eddie joins the rest of you in the living room, plopping down on the sofa between Nancy and Robin as she starts the game. "Hmm. Nancy, you first. Jason, Fred, Chance, and Steve." Her face scrunches up with every name drop, the look of disgust written all over it. "Fred?! You just had to put that one in there." She pauses, shooting Robin a devastated look as you snicker. Oh the betrayal. Robin rolls her eyes, finally starting to come back to herself after all the cups of cold water Nancy shoved down her throat. "Oh come on, spit it out." 

"Alright, fine. This is speaking as if me and Jonathan aren't together, okay? Marry Steve. Kill Jason. Kiss Fred. Fuck Chance." The group's eyes go wide with surprise. "Have you always thought about killing my ex?" You tease, looking offended, but you really weren't. Hell, you'd help with the murder. "Yes! Oh my god he's such a dickhead. I talked to him for the newspaper and he was sunshine and smiles during it, then turned around and tried to tell me how to do my job after. Saying stuff like," She pauses, clearing her voice to mimic his dopey voice. "Oh, don't forget to add the part where I'm captain of the basketball team and how many shots I scored in the last game." Mind you, the question I asked him was, "How do you feel about the bullying incidents and what would you do to prevent it?" Since he's supposed to be one of the school leaders. Ugh, he just gets on my nerves. I'm so glad you dumped his ass because I cannot stand by and let one of my friends date a literal piece of shit on the floor." Her manic rant stops as she places her hands back on her lap, not realizing she was using them to talk in the first place. 

 "So…Um, fuck chance huh?" Steve says, picking the conversation back up. "Yeah. I've talked to him a couple of times for the newspaper club and he's really nice. Plus he's got nice hair and facial structure." She waits for responses, but everyone just looks around in agreement. "Okay, Y/n." From the way she says your name, you know she's about to fuck you up with this one. "Gareth, Eddie, Andy, and Patrick." "Ugh. Two people each from the 'freak' and 'dickhead squad.'" You ignore the glare from Eddie and put your elbow on the coffee table in front of you, leaning into your hand in thought. "Okay, I think I got it. Marry Gareth. Kiss Andy. Fuck Patrick. Kill Eddie." You close your eyes and list all of them on one hand, some laughs, some eye rolls, specifically one from Eddie. "You'd fuck Patrick but Kill me?" "Yeah, I was shocked. Eddie is very fuckable." Steve says while Robin agrees, getting a sideways look from Nancy. "Not fuckable by me of course. I just meant that as a compliment if I was straight. You know?" She clarifies. "He's got a cute face, nice hair, and he's the perfect height. I wouldn't mind being married to that cutie pie. I feel bad though because he's probably so innocent, he looks it too. I'd ruin him with our relationship." You laugh. "Oh well. It's not like I wouldn't love doing that anyway." "Yeah right. As if my princess could ruin anyone." Eddie stares you down from the couch, thighs clenching from his whole demeanor and 'my princess'. "Don't call me that and I'm not yours." You say in a hushed tone. "It's fun to watch you deny that nickname. I know you love it, princess." He inches closer to you.

 "I don't." You inch.

 "Do." He inches.

 "I hate it as much as I hate you." You inch.

 "I also find that hard to believe." He stops inching closer, anymore and you'd be kissing. You totally didn't want that. Robin would've joked around and said 'Kiss already!', but she didn't want the death glare and possible death that would come with it. She could see it now, both of you hovering over her as Eddie chokes her out and you high five him. Her face going blue and vision fading to black before going to the light or who knows maybe she was going to hell. She prayed she wouldn't. But this isn't about her, and that never happened, only in her drunken coming sober thoughts. Where it shall stay.

You both hover over the coffee table as the rest watch. He leaves you speechless, no clapback, not even a huff. Only a broken glare, but your silence says all he needs to know. You slam your hands on the table and walk away, visually startling everyone, but Eddie. He doesn't even flinch. "Don't you walk away from me!" Eddie follows after, his long legs mindlessly stepping over Robin's feet with ease as you two bicker. "Don't tell me what to do! You're not my dad." You storm the hallway, stepping into the closest room, being a guest bedroom. You try to shut the door in his face, but he's right behind you, hot on your heels. He gets a foot in the door as you shut it, luckily for him, his platforms are thick so it didn't do much damage. He flings the door open forcefully, sending you back into a dresser. He slams the door loudly.

"Should we do something?" Steve looks down the hallway from where he is. "Can you see anything?" Robin askes, but he shakes his head. "The door is closed." Nancy rubs her temples, "I feel like we should do something, but I don't wanna be the one to get hurt. Like what if they turn on me because I get in between their 'lovers quarrel'? I don't wanna find out." They both nod their head in agreement. "Yeah, I say we step in if we hear stuff being thrown or like actual violence. Right now we should be on standby." Steve announces as if it was a real plan. In reality, they just didn't want to interfere.

 Eddie cages you between the dresser and himself, so close you could feel his uneven breath on your face. Your bodies glued against each other, his leg separating both of yours, and brushing against your cunt. His hands on the outside of yours, chests almost touching if not the height difference. Both of you stand idly in this position, calming your breathing, taking a moment to assess the situation you've gotten yourselves into. You try to move from under him to clear your head, accidentally rubbing your cunt with the thigh that separates your legs. A moan almost slips, but you bite your lip, hoping he doesn't notice. He does. "Hm? Got something to say princess?" He hunches over you, easing down to your level. "Fuck you!" "You'd like that wouldn't you?" His leg shifts again, feeding your entrance and clit that delicious friction it hasn't had in a while. You let out a muffled curse, "You want my attention so bad." Eddie's face contorts into fake confusion, trying to brush it off. "What?" "You heard me. Always making little quips even when I'm not talking to you. When I am talking to you, you always tease me. It seems like you love talking to me. You can't get enough of it. If you hated me as much as you say, you wouldn't call me princess. It seems like I'm not the only one that enjoys that nickname." You smirk, seeing his composure crack before quickly recovering. "So, you do like that nickname?" Your face turns hot from embarrassment. Oops, you didn't realize you had let that slip out. You got ahead of yourself and your mouth ran faster than your brain. Now it's at the finish line and you're sitting there looking dumb at the start. "I, I don't." You don't even know why you're still lying at this point. You've been found out.

 "We both know that's a lie." His lips find your neck as he lifts you onto the brown hardwood dresser you've been pressed against. He settles his hips between your legs. "Fuuuuuck. Fuck you." You begin to trip on your words, every sentence comes out with a stutter in it. "Just say the word and this can all end." Your train of thought evaporates when he finds that sweet spot on your neck, stamping hickeys that will definitely show with your clothing choices. He notices your silence and starts to pull away, afraid that he overstepped. "Don't! Don't stop, please." Your begging goes straight to his groin and your arms wrap around his neck, ensuring that he won't go anywhere. "Oh? You sound so sweet for me, princess." You give in, not complaining about the nickname and focusing on the growing heat between your legs. It was just a stupid nickname that you might or might not think about in the shower while you imagine his head between your thighs. 

He takes his hand from your hips and slides it under your shirt, groaning when he's found with a bra. "What, can you not get it off by yourself?" You reach a hand behind to help him before he slaps it away. "No, I got it." He skillfully unhooks with one hand, your eyebrows lifting in surprise as he laughs. "I'm not a virgin and a loser. I pick and choose my struggles, okay?" He pulls your shirt above your head to be met with your breast. They sit perfectly on your chest, perfect size, perfect for your body, perfectly soft. He groans lowly while teasing your nipples, your tits fit perfectly into his cold ring-clad fingers. He plays with them like a kid with their first slinky, completely mesmerized, squeezing and squishing them together. His hot mouth encases one of your taunt nipples as you fight the urge to slip your fingers into his hair. "Go ahead. I know you want to." It's almost as if he read your mind. "I know you love the curls, all the girls do." You roll your eyes. "So, grip it if you need to." He smirks up at you through full black eyelashes, trailing his kisses lower to the waist of your jeans, which you didn't know he unbuttoned. His fingers slide against the skin of your hips, looping around your jeans and tugging them down your legs. Leaving the wet area on your panties exposed to him. "Well, would you look at that? You've soaked right through them." His words fluster you, but before you can reply, he's grabbing you by the back of your knees and pulling you closer to the edge, your ass only half way on the dresser now. He drops to his knees, your legs thrown over his shoulders, clutching one by the back of your knee again. He levels with your soaking cunt, giving it an experimental lick, not for you, but for himself. He slides your panties off, letting out a groan from the sight. Your beautiful pussy, glistening because of him. He runs a thick finger up your puffy folds to your clit, rubbing gentle circles as he watches your chest heave from pleasure.

 Eddie continues to mindlessly tease your sensitive clit. Pulling muffled and bitten back moans from you. You hoist yourself up, trying your best to roll your hips farther onto his face, but he holds you down. "Eager now, are we?." He nips around the area you need him the most. Kissing and licking your thighs. "You must want to get your hair pulled, whore." He bites at your thigh harder than before. "Says the one getting her pussy eaten by her "sworn enemy". Isn't that ironic?" "Oh shut up. You haven't even-" Your tongue gets caught in your throat blocking the moan that dares to leave your lips. 

It was supposed to be a petty lick to make you shut up and appreciate what he was giving you, but he couldn't believe how sweet you were. The lust clouding his brain, his dick hard and leaking precum, pressing impossibly hard against his jeans, all factors working together to drive him more crazy. He starts to lap at your pussy, slurping and suckling the juices as you try to pull away from the sudden pleasure, but the grip on your thighs tighten possessively. You glance down at him to see his eyes, pupils blown wide and clouded with lust. He's eating your pussy like a starved man, sloppy and the bottom half of his face soaked with your juices. He's wrapping his lips around your clit, sucking kisses to it when he slips a finger in you. God, your walls are so velvety soft and what he wouldn't give to be in them. His fingers could be in you for hours, past the wrinkling stage.

Loud moans and curses erupt from your throat, hoping your friends in the other room didn't hear. That somehow the loud noises went unheard or they were suddenly deaf. They didn't. They can and did hear everything.

"So… So, I guess they're not fighting anymore." Nancy pauses, picking stubborn threads from the old couch. "Um, yeah… So uh. PIZZA! Yea pizza, y'all wanna go get some pizza? I mean I didn't make either of you a sandwich earlier. You must be hungry." Steve tries to carry the convo while Nancy and Robin nod their heads in agreement. "Yup! Haha, absolutely famished." Robin says, really playing it up. "Yeah! I mean, like when was the last time we ate? Three days ago? Haha!" A heavy silence sits between the three of them, then Steve grabs his keys. "So! Um, let's go get that pizza!" Fake smiles emerge from all of them, trying to act like two of their friends weren't in the next room fucking. "Oh, Shot-"

"No Robin. You're not riding shotgun."

"Aw man."

 The loud shutting of the front door can be heard by you and Eddie, but you didn't care and apparently he didn't either. He begins to give your pussy little kitten licks. Fuck, is he teasing again? What is his problem? You're already dripping and desperate for him. He is enjoying this all too much. 

 You grab him by the hair, eliciting a moan and shove his face in your cunt. "Eat." You demand as Eddie looks up at you through those fucking eyelashes again. His hands resting on your marked up inner thighs. You weren't the only one enjoying the view, though. You thought you looked absolutely crazy right now, chest heaving unevenly, a sheet of sweat coating your body, your shirt sticking to your breast from the sweat and pupils blown out just like Eddie's, but he was loving it. If only he could pause time and save this image forever or had the artistic ability to paint this moment how he sees fit. The image alone could make him cum in his pants. You panting over him, fed up with his teasing and finally putting him in his place. He obeys, using the tip of his nose to rub circles on your clit as his tongue plunges in and out of you. Your head falls back against the mirror behind you.

 Both of your hands pull his hair as you roll onto his face, desperate moans pouring out of your mouth. He continues to moan into your pussy, coaxing you closer to your orgasm with vibrations. Your eyes shut when he slides two fingers in you, not wasting any time on delaying your orgasm. His efforts have your legs shaking in his grip as you gush on his face. He watches intensively, eyes flickering between your fucked out but satisfied face and your spasming pussy. Your precious moans turning into whines of his name as he fingers you into overstimulation. He slips his fingers out and slurps up the rest of your essence. 

 Your eyes open when you feel his lips on yours, tasting a bit of yourself on him. You moan into the kiss, giving his tongue the opportunity to explore your mouth. Your hands move to his chest, pushing him back to slide off the dresser. You push him backwards towards the bed and drop to your knees. Placing one hand on the wet tent in his pants before he grabs it.

 "I want to." You assure him before he says anything.

 "But you don't have to."

 "But I want to."

 "I said you don't have to."

 "I said I want to."

 "Fine! I don't want you to then." You look at him in confusion before he continues.

 "I don't consent. I won't let you." You narrow your eyes at him before dropping the topic. "You're a weird one, Eddie Munson." You start to gather your clothes and head to the bathroom. "Oh, can you change out here?" He says, ushering ahead of you and shutting the door. "Oh, okay?"

Eddie shuts the door behind him, his eyes falling on the situation in his pants. He manically searches the bathroom for a rag he can use to clean the cum out of the inside of his pants, luckily it didn't soak through yet. Yet. He undoes his studded belt and lets his pants fall to the floor, finding a rag and scrubbing the best he can with hand soap. He can be heard huffing and puffing from outside the door, "Hey Eddie. Lemme ask you a question." He nearly jumps out his skin. He thought you already got dressed and left. "Um okay? Shoot."

"How come you hate me so much?"

"Oh princess, I never hated you." He tries to multitask, but fails terribly and almost slips on the bottom of his pants. Luckily, he grabbed onto the sink.

"Oh yeah? Well, you always ignored me. Chrissy told you I had a huge crush and you still didn't make a move or try to talk to me."

 "Oh yeah. That. To me you were such a sweet girl. I thought you were too good for me and you'd leave me in the dust with nothing but my heart to hold." He stops scrubbing, reminiscing about the said times. 

 "You were too good to be true. You were too good for me. You were top of our class and you already had colleges knocking at your door. I didn't have dreams that big. I didn't want to dim your light." He trails off, starting back to scrubbing.

"Why didn't you let me make that decision? I should get to choose who I hang out with." He can hear you stepping closer until you finally lean against the door, back first he assumes. 

"I just wanted the best for you." He takes a dry towel and soaks up as much of the wetness as possible. Almost dry. He fits his pants back on, opening the door slowly to ensure you had enough time to move. 

 Then he feels a fist against his chest. "I hate you, you know." He smiles down at you, "From someone that was rubbing their pussy on my face, I don't believe that." You both walk out the door into the hallway to be met with the smell of pizza and your group of friends plus Chrissy. "Oh hey! I ran into these guys at Domino's." She grabs a slice and holds it out to you two. "Pizza?" 

[adoringhaikyuu]

when their teammate has a crush on you

characters: kageyama, kenma, oikawa, tanaka

warnings: nothing, just some pouty boys and possessiveness

notes: i stumbled upon @kageyuji​‘s take on this while i was writing! so i thought i might as well give them a shoutout! 

kageyama:

you already know this boy speaks up with no shame

and he will glare at anyone who gets in his way or on his nerves, especially when they do anything to you

so when hinata doesn’t even try to hide that he likes you, saying boldly “well why should i lie?” 

you could only imagine the rage that kageyama is feeling

he doesn’t even want you in the same room as hinata sjkdfghsdj

he will pick either you or hinata up and take you away, depending on the situation

or he’ll take hinata’s face in his hand and just throw him away

but the boy always bounces right back, somehow unharmed and you’re grateful for that 

but anyway it’s not that hinata is necessarily trying to break the two of you up, it’s more that he’s genuinely confused as to why you’re with kageyama

“how could you possibly like this bully? is there something wrong with you?” 

he got chased by kageyama immediately after saying that––

your eyes widened as you saw a flash of orange jump in front of you as you walked towards the gym, ready to meet kageyama to go home. “y/n! y/n! could you please throw some balls for us?! yachi had to go home but we really wanna practice some more!” 

you stepped back and your boyfriend came out of nowhere, practically smacking the other boy out of the air, leaving him to crouch on the ground, clutching the top of his head as he scowled at the dark-haired boy. “calm down you idiot! y/n doesn’t have to if they don’t want to! they’re probably tired anyway and just wanna go home.” he turned to you and gave you a small smile. “you wanna go?” 

you looked between the two. “i mean...i can help you guys practice for a little bit.”

the other boy sprung up again. “oh! thank you! thank you!” 

your boyfriend bowed his head quickly. “thank you.”

you smiled up at him and he felt his cheeks redden. “of course, tobio.” a smile spread on his face as well but it was short-lived as hinata spoke up, suddenly inches away from the two of you. 

“what’s up with your face? why do you look like that?” 

kageyama scowled down at him. “nothing’s wrong with my face! what’s wrong with your face?!” 

“why are you yelling at me?!” hinata turned to you, “he’s so mean! how are you with him?” he looked down and mumbled to himself, “i wouldn’t treat you like this...”

kageyama’s eyes widened with rage. “what was that?!” 

“n––nothing!” the smaller boy backed up, eyes wide with fear. 

“you know what? we’re leaving.” kageyama stormed into the gym and quickly got his things, ignoring hinata’s pleas.

“aw what? why?! come on kageyama!” he turned to you, “y/n please––”

suddenly you were facing your boyfriend’s back as he stood in front of you to glare at the other boy. “don’t even think about it. we’re done for today.” he turned to you and grabbed your hand, tightening his hold when you waved goodbye to a pouting hinata. 

when you were almost off the premises you looked up at kageyama. “you know you’re kinda hot when you’re jealous,” you smirked up at him and he stuttered in shock.

“what–i–you––”

you laughed and kissed the back of his hand softly, immediately giving him a nosebleed. you handed him a tissue which he gratefully took, glaring at you weakly. 

“you know i’m yours, right?” 

he swallowed and blinked a couple times before nodding once. 

“then you have nothing to worry about, okay?”

he started muttering to himself, the only words you could make out being “idiot” and “dumbass”. you placed your hands on his cheeks and he stopped and looked down at you, eyes wide. 

“okay, tobio?”

he nodded. “okay.” he paused. “but that doesn’t mean i’m going to be nicer to that idiot––”

you laughed. “yeah baby, i know.” 

kenma:

let’s say you’d been dating kenma for a while now, a little lowkey 

and everything is fine, everything is going really well

kenma likes it when you hang around the team, the team likes you

you’re like a part of the squad

and kenma’s feeling great about it 

until lev comes along––

kenma already doesn’t like this boy, he doesn’t even know how to hit a ball properly––

but when kenma notices the way the tall boy blatantly stares at you during practice, the way he always tries to butt into your conversations and show off to you...

kenma’s practically radiating angry chihuahua energy, the air around him red and he looks like he’s two seconds away from biting––

if lev interrupts your convo w him sometimes he’d just stare at the boy deadpanned and go back to his conversation with you, “anyway–”

or he’d take your hand and lead you away

or he’d literally just say “go away, lev.” and the poor boy would just pout and whine, “aww what? why?” 

one time lev tried to tag along on one of your dates and you had to step in front of kenma so he wouldn’t kick the boy in the shins or something

lev really wasn’t trying to do any harm, he was just a big lanky puppy who had a little crush on you

but still, kenma wasn’t having any of that

kuroo leaned on the wall next to where kenma was leaning against it, sipping his water during their ten minute break. he smirked down at his friend teasingly, “so what are you gonna do about your new competition?”

kenma wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, putting the bottle on the floor as he practically snarled. “shut up.”

“woah,” kuroo smiled, raising his hands up in mock surrender. “put your claws away, man. i’m just asking.” 

kenma simply grumbled in response, making his friend laugh.

“well you should think fast cause it looks like he’s getting real close to y/n right now––”

kenma’s head snapped up immediately and his jaw clenched when he took in the sight across the gym. lev was lying on the bench, practically half his body folded, his legs bent on the ground, his head on your lap, his eyes closed. 

kenma huffed and stomped over to you two, some of his other teammates jumping out of his way when they felt the almost deadly aura around him. he stopped right in front of you and you looked up at him.

he blinked. “why is lev on you?”

you shrugged, “he said his head was hurting and then just plopped his head in my lap.”

said boy finally opened his eyes and perked up, “oh hi kenma! my head’s been hurting from all this hard practice so i thought i’d rest a bit.”

your boyfriend’s eye twitched. “on y/n?” 

“yeah!” the boy smiled, somehow completely oblivious to the setter’s rage. “they’re real soft, you know––”

“yes.” kenma interrupted, blunt as ever. “i know.” 

noticing the increasing tension, you spoke up. “hey lev?” he looked at you happily. “your head’s feeling better now, right?” 

“well i guess so...”

“maybe you should go get some water and some fresh air then, yeah?”

he pouted, “but maybe i should stay for just a little longer–” kenma was about to pop a blood vessel. 

“trust me,” you guided him up gently. “this is what’s best for your health.”

as soon as he agreed and walked away from you, you looked up at your boyfriend with a smile on your face and pat your thighs. he eagerly took lev’s place and looked up at you with a furrow in his brows that you were quick to smooth out with your thumb, smiling when he visibly melted at your touch. you ran your fingers through his scalp to calm him down and he purred, leaning into your hands. 

“stupid lev...” he mumbled to himself and you laughed, leaning down to kiss his forehead, making him blush immediately.

“you have nothing to worry about, okay? i’m yours.”

he blinked, trying to calm his heartbeat, a small smile on his face. “good.” 

oikawa:

alright let’s switch things up a lil bit and mention someone i’ve personally like never seen mentioned in this scenario

let’s say mad dog likes you

oh boy

so at first oikawa thinks he’s seeing things

but once he notices how kyoutani opens the door for you, the way his eyes linger on you a little more when you come to practices or to the games, the way he gives you a small smile every now and then––

kyoutani doesn’t smile for anybody!!––

oikawa’s eyes narrow and he gets a bad feeling in his gut 

otherwise known as jealousy

now he knows you’d never leave him or anything like that, but the fact that you start getting closer to the walking time bomb and you become the only other person that he listens to besides iwaizumi––

oikawa doesn’t like that at all

he’d get all pouty and would literally drag you away from your conversations with the younger boy, almost whimpering when he glares and practically growls at him

“where is y/n-chan??” oikawa asked to no one in particular, his hands on his hips. 

kindaichi stopped and picked up one of the stray balls on the floor, “oh i saw y/n outside with kyoutani.”

“what?!” oikawa pracitcally shrieked, making the younger boy jump. he mumbled to himself, “i swear we need to get mad dog a collar with bells on it––” he stomped over to where the two of you were, a strained smile on his face as he noticed you laughing, kyoutani’s cheeks slightly pink.

“well what do we have here?” he said forceful but cheerful. 

you looked to your boyfriend with a smile and kyoutani simply glared at him, but then again, that was just his face. “oh we were just getting some fresh air. are you done practicing your serves?”

“i sure am.” he smiled, pulling you close to him by your waist and pressing an obnoxiously loud and wet kiss to your cheek which you immediately wiped off with a grimace, which he did not appreciate. “y/n-chan!” he whined, “that’s not very nice!” 

“well don’t make it so wet next time,” you rolled your eyes. 

noticing the other boy still hadn’t made a move to leave, your boyfriend spoke up. “shouldn’t you be leaving now, mad dog?”

you smacked his chest and he yelped. “don’t be so rude, tooru. he was keeping me company while you did your extra practice, you know.”  

he pouted and looked to the ground.

“i should be getting home, anyway.” the blond spoke up gruffly. his eyes softened almost imperceptibly as he looked at you. “see you, y/n.”

you smiled, “bye kyou.” 

“bye mad-dog!” your boyfriend practically sang, as he looked over his shoulder at the boy leaving. he turned back to you and you pursed your lips at his behavior, making his shoulders droop in shame. 

“you’re such a big baby, you know that?” although you insulted him, your voice was soft and he couldn’t help but smile at the way you cooed at him, your hands holding his cheeks. “but you’re my baby, okay? stop worrying so much about kyoutani.” 

he nodded. “okay...” his eyes widened hopefully, “can i get a kiss please?”

you smiled and shook your head, before leaning in. he really was a baby sometimes.  

tanaka:

you already know this boy is loud

and he likes to show off what’s his because he’s just so proud that you’re his and he loves to fawn over you

so he’ll always have a hand on you, an arm around you and he’ll always shower you in compliments whenever he sees you

a total simp

and that’s just in general

so when his friend likes you ??? bruh

let’s just say nishinoya thinks you’re kinda cute,,, okay really cute and his crush only (unwillingly) grew for you after you started dating tanaka and hanging out with them all the time

he’d be really excited whenever you were around, a pink tint covering his cheeks, a smile glued to his face

he’d try to show off during practice and games, looking to you after he lands a successful rolling thunder

and tanaka would be growling in the corner sdfghj

he’d literally try to one up his friend immediately and would scream to you in the stands “I LOVE YOU BABY THIS ONE IS FOR YOU!!”

after they win he’d pull you into a crushing hug and give you loud kisses all over your face 

he’d do the most and then he’d smile all smug making sure everyone including nishinoya saw 

you laughed as noya jumped several feet in the air to high five you after winning their game, a bright smile on his face. “did you see that last receive i did y/n? did you?” 

you nodded, laughing. “yes i did noya, it was really impressive.” 

his cheeks turned pink and he ducked his head, scratching the back of his head nervously as he waved you off. “ah it wasn’t all that...it was pretty good though, huh?” 

before you could respond, you saw a flash of movement in front of you before you were suddenly being hoisted into the air. you gasped and wrapped your arms and legs around your boyfriend, “ryu!––” 

“hey baby!” he practically yelled, smiling up at you and not so subtly walking away from his best friend with you in his arms. “did you see me hit that last spike? your man looked pretty good out there, huh? better than everyone else right?” 

daichi who was walking by the two of you quickly hit the back of tanaka’s head in warning, hearing his words. “watch it––”

tanaka turned his head, “uh i mean you looked great too captain! couldn’t have done this without you––”

“yeah yeah,” he walked away, rolling his eyes and you laughed yet again, grabbing your boyfriend’s attention. 

he looked up at you with wide eyes, squeezing his arms around you tighter and you smiled, putting your hand on his cheek. he nuzzled into your touch softly and you pressed a kiss to his lips, making him blush immediately. “of course i was watching you, and yes you looked very very good out there. i’m so proud of you.” 

he smiled wide but tried to act oblivious when you went on, “you know you kinda interrupted my conversation earlier with––”

“well anyway! i think we should get going now--” he spoke far too loud, walking faster from the gym, making you shake your head at his adorably possessive behavior. 

you leaned your head on his shoulder fondly, “you know you can be ridiculous sometimes ryu...”

he huffed quietly, “well you still love me right?”

you smiled. “always.” 

[kurosukii]

𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐮𝐬𝐡

pairing: kuroo tetsurou x f!reader

summary: your best friend has been dying to know the guy you’ve been fooling around with since your twenty-first birthday; you wish you could tell her, but the mystery man is no other than her father.

genre: smut, age gap, best friend’s dad au

warnings: 18+. DILF KUROO. dubcon, manipulation, slight somnophilia, spanking, pussyjob, alcohol consumption, dumbification, hair pulling, virginity loss (...social construct), oral (f receiving), overstimulation, size kink, corruption kink, daddy kink, daddy issues, dirty talk, degradation, praise, unprotected sex, nipple play, creampie, cumplay, multiple orgasms, breeding kink, choking, spitting, mating press, clit spanks, begging, fingering, slight exhibitionism, finger sucking, tie kink(?? he makes you wear his tie so...)

word count: 5.2k

author’s note: for @sugawara-sweetheart’s decadence collab! thank you so much for letting me join! shoutout to @stopisa for that ✨lovely✨ dilf convo. (dilf kuroo AAAAAAAAAAAAAA) (let me know if i missed any warnings!) (MINORS DNI)

º thank you @meiansmistress and @ssrated1volleyballplayer for editing and beta reading <33

[12:24 PM]

“come on! you have to tell me who he is!”

you grip the handle of your spoon harder than normal, hoping your best friend doesn’t see your reaction.

you open your mouth to say something, but she cuts you off with a comment that makes shame and embarrassment burn through your body.

“you guys were really loud last night! well, you were. i didn’t hear so much as a peep from your man—well aside from the occasional murmurs, which i’m pretty sure was dirty talk…” she trails off, looking lost in thought.

you squirm and wince at the wet pool between your legs. the wet pool being cum that he told you to keep warm just before he left.

she sees your discomfort and laughs at your predicament, clearly thinking it was the aftermath of a hard night of fucking—it was, but she didn’t need to know about the sticky cum that was still inside your pussy.

“he clearly fucked your brains out! at least one of us is getting dick!” she exclaims, her lips forming into a pout as she takes her finished bowl of ramen to the sink and rinses it with water.

yeah, you are getting dick—not just anyone’s dick, however, because it’s her father’s.

your stomach churns at the thought, not from disgust, but from guilt and shame. you are way past getting disgusted with what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.

not when her father never fails to make you cum at least three times in one night, not when he calls you his good girl and cockslut, and certainly not when you called him over last night because you were so pent up and you needed your daddy’s cock.

last night…

“you’re such a cockslut,” kuroo growled, his balls slapping against your ass as he delivered a hard thrust that had you creaming and moaning all over his cock. you bunched the sheets in your hands, wincing with slight discomfort when he folded your body in half while he pounded relentlessly inside you.

“you should see how dumb you look with your eyes all crossed and teary while your tits are bouncing everywhere.”

you squealed when he roughly flipped you on your stomach, large hands grabbing your hips as he entered you once more. he lifted one hand and slapped your ass in sync with his thrusts.

“so drunk on my cock now, huh? can’t live without it, hm?” kuroo taunted you, one hand squeezing your hip while the other spanked your ass until it was burning with pain. you moaned words incoherently, tongue lolling out as drool seeped from the corners of your mouth.

“daddy! more, please!” you moaned loudly, toes curling from the pleasure.

“you’re brave for calling me over, knowing that only a thin wall is separating you from my daughter’s room,” he hissed, pounding your pussy from behind.

“but i guess that doesn’t matter to you anymore as long as i fill this dirty pussy with my. hot. cum—fuck!” he ended each word with a hard thrust, cursing when your tight cunt clamped down on him.

“faster, daddy! your cock’s filling up my pussy so well—oh my god!” you screamed, partly aware that you shouldn’t scream his name, for fear that your debauchery with your best friend’s father would be revealed too soon.

kuroo indulged you, teeth bared as he pushed your back into a deeper arch, making his cock reach places he hadn’t before. you winced when his large cock teased the entrance of your cervix. it was always a trip taking him—no matter how many times he fucked you, his cock always stretched your pussy wide open.

“w-wait, it h-hurts daddy!” you whined, moving forward to escape the brutal thrusts of his hips so you could adjust your position. he growled in disapproval, tightening his grip on your hips as he roughly pulled you back on his dick.

“take my cock. i know you can do it, whore.” he hissed, moving your body back and forth on his cock like you were a fuckdoll. you moaned from both pain and pleasure as kuroo guided your hips, fingers leaving bruises on your skin.

you cried out when kuroo tugged your hair from its roots, pulling your body upright until your back met his sweaty chest. “yeah that’s a good fucking pussy. come on slut, squeeze daddy’s cock,” he whispered in your ear, teeth biting your earlobe.

“d-daddy i can’t—i’m going to cum!” you squealed, voice cracking as your body started shaking from your fast approaching orgasm.

“i’m going to cum too, baby—and don’t you fucking dare waste my cum,” he growled, wrapping his arms around your body.

you fell forward on your shaking arms, sheets bunched tightly in your fingers as moans and whimpers freely fell from your lips.

“i want it to stay inside your dirty cunt until tomorrow,” he ordered you, reaching for your arms and holding your wrists in one hand, the other slapping your already swollen ass.

you cried out when your face was smothered by the sheets, drool staining the pillow as the headboard continuously thumped against the wall. your body shook with his thrusts, breasts swaying with the movement.

“i want you to look my daughter in the eye and have a normal conversation with her—just like you always do—while you’re thinking about how slutty you are with her father’s cum inside your pussy.”

that was last night. a couple hours ago, if you were to be specific, since kuroo fucked you until you passed out on your bed. you only woke up when your best friend practically broke the door down—bed empty of him, thank god—saying that she made lunch. she looked pretty disheveled herself and she blamed it on your headboard hitting the wall all throughout the night.

you buried your face into the pillow to cover your guilty expression, groaning at the movement because your body was aching all over. she laughed and left you to your own devices, still recovering from him.

he has a crazy appetite for a man his age, to be honest. he may be an older man but he fucks like a teenage boy who recently discovered sex and became hypnotized by the pleasure of it. you lost count of how many times your best friend—his daughter—almost caught you and him fucking around in the apartment, their house, and even his car.

it wasn’t always like this though. there was a time when you only saw him as a fatherly figure and not someone who regularly uses you as a cocksleeve.

maybe it was the way he looked so good with a five-o-clock shadow, or how even with salt and pepper hair, he still acted youthfully. perhaps it was his signature cocky grin that lured your younger and more impressionable self towards him.

in truth, it was your daddy issues that led you to him.

you met your best friend the summer after high school. you bonded quickly over your common interests and quickly learned that it was just her and her dad. she confided in you and told you how lonely he was and she hoped that he would meet a nice and loving woman to take care of him. you comforted her and reassured her that he would meet that woman. if you only knew.

you couldn’t help but admit to yourself how envious you were of her and her father’s relationship, seeing as the one with your own was non-existent. you couldn’t wait to meet him, hoping that he would treat you as his second daughter since your best friend was basically your sister.

she failed to tell you—because why would she?—that her father is an attractive and charming specimen of a man his age. his eyes would crinkle at the sides when he laughed and his feline eyes would always look at you with warmth and tenderness.

you sigh as you put your chin on your fist, the sounds of dishwashing and humming filling your ears as you play the events that eventually led to your risky love affair with her dad.

you really feel ashamed, but it wasn’t your fault that her dad is so good to you. from the moment you met him, he made you feel so loved and appreciated. it was obviously innocent and familial at first, until it turned to something darker, more carnal.

his glances gradually became lingering and he started giving you sly winks that left you burning with desire. you tried so hard to fight it too, but you were too weak against his sweet talk and honey voice.

it was a year or two later that he finally made a move on you.

you figured that with a job that caused him to be in constant public eye, he would avoid fooling around with girls that were decades younger than him, but even with the heavy implications of a scandal, it still didn’t stop him from devouring you.

it all started one night when he invited you guys over, claiming that he missed the both of you. your best friend told you to go first because she was going to be out for her tutoring session. you internally shivered at the thought of being alone with him, not knowing what was going to happen once you were confined in a small space.

the sexual tension was so thick when you arrived and next thing you knew, you had your back on the dining table, legs spread in the air, with his mouth sucking and slurping on your pussy. you came with a scream of his name, cumming so hard for the first time in your life that your body ended up convulsing.

he had laughed at how blissed out you looked. “you taste even better than what i imagined, baby. thanks for the meal,” he purred, winking at you and leaving you to process what happened, hand wiping off the juices from his face as he went back to cooking dinner.

his daughter finally showed up and your face burned the entire time, unable to look her in the eye because not only did her father make you cum minutes prior, but he also was a tease and had his fingers inside your panties while talking to her, fingers slowly tracing circles on your clit.

the topic of conversation was your living situation. he was never happy about how the two of you wanted to live alone together because he insisted that it was better if you guys lived with him. at first you thought it was him being overprotective, but you came to understand it was because he wanted easy access to you.

he ended up fucking your throat that night out of sheer frustration, punishing you for being a bad girl and wanting to be away from your daddy.

you partly hoped it was a one time thing, but you were proven wrong when you had a movie night and your best friend dozed off on the long couch housing the three of you.

kuroo was under your blanket and between your legs in an instant. your shorts hung off of one ankle while he pushed your panties to the side.

“daddy! we shouldn’t be doing this—fuck!” you moaned as his lips sucked your clit into his mouth, tongue lapping up your slick.

“guess you just have to be quiet then, kitten,” he teased you. you arched your back and bit your lip to muffle your scream when he inserted a finger in your dripping cunt while his lips played with your clit.

you had no idea how your best friend didn’t wake up to the sounds of your muffled moans and whimpers, but that thought went away when you started riding her father’s face and cumming all over his mouth.

you became needier after that, eventually losing the hesitancy of being pleasured by him. instead, you anticipated the times when he would make you cum.

the deal was sealed on the night of your twenty-first birthday.

night of your birthday…

“hey girl, the postman came and said this was for you!” your friend slurred, clearly having had too much to drink for just a small and intimate celebration for your twenty-first.

you’d been buzzing the whole day, both from the alcohol and anticipation of what was going to happen later. you woke up to numerous happy birthday texts until you came across the one you’ve been so excited to see. your cunt gushed when you saw your daddy’s text, letting out a little moan at what he said.

happy twenty-first, kitten. you better be wearing my gift when i come over because i’m going to fuck your little pussy tonight.

you sucked in a breath as your face flushed. you held the smooth black nondescript box that was elegantly wrapped with a crimson satin ribbon. you had a pretty solid guess of what was inside and your best friend had as well, because she wiggled her eyebrows and teased you. you sighed, like father, like daughter.

how you were still able to look her in the eye after everything you’ve done and what you’re going to do with her dad is beyond you. his mouth, tongue, fingers—soon to be his cock—truly hypnotized and consumed your conscience and only left neediness in its wake.

you ducked your head to hide the embarrassment on your face while the rest of your friends that came over jeered and whistled as you walked towards your room to leave the box on your bed for safekeeping.

you left it sitting in the center of the bed and went back to the living room to enjoy, skin tingling the whole time in anticipation for your daddy...

you closed the door after saying goodbye to the last group of people and turned to your best friend. “thank you for the lovely little get together,” you thanked her shyly.

“you’re welcome, darling, but i’m sure the main event is just about to happen. tone it down a little, yeah?” she smirked at you, eyes glinting with mischief as she giggled on the way to her room.

you sighed, the guilt that was momentarily forgotten reared its head once more when you were finally alone in your room. it went away again when you studied the gift kuroo gave, nimble fingers leaving light touches on the box settled on your lap as you untied the ribbon.

you rummaged through the white crepe paper until you saw pieces of red lace that were as red as the ribbon that tied the box. he always loved the color, so it wasn’t a surprise that the lingerie he gifted you was of the same shade. your fingers shook when you took them out in front of you. these can barely cover anything, you gulped.

you caught a tinge of gold in the corner of your eye and saw that there was a white card peeking out amongst the paper. the card was lined with gold embellishments and there was a short message printed in red.

kitten, wear these for me. - k.t.

and who are you to not follow daddy’s orders?

you placed the garments at your side and set the box on the floor. you began to undress, removing your cotton bra and panties which you threw on the floor, somehow landing inside the open box.

your naked body was exposed to the cool air and you shivered, head buzzing and eyes slightly drooping from the alcohol you consumed. you took the lace with delicate fingers and gasped upon inspection of the panties.

you were taken aback by the design because not only did it lack enough cloth to cover your entire lower region, but they were crotchless. your mouth dried at the obscenity, hazy mind playing images of kuroo rutting into you without having to remove anything.

that was most likely his intention after all. you slowly stood up from the bed and softly moaned at the slickness between your thighs, pussy clearly excited and aching for his dick. you slipped your legs through them and grabbed the matching bra. you moaned when you clipped it on, nipples hardening when the lacy pattern rubbed against them.

you might as well be wearing nothing with the way you barely felt the fabric against your sensitive skin. you yawned as you laid on your back, the numerous glasses of wine you drank finally caught up with you.

you tried to fight it, you really did. but you were fighting a losing battle with your eyes and besides, you were only going to close them for a bit. you’d wake up before your daddy comes over, right?

you ended up dozing off. you woke up with a moan, alcohol already flushed out of your body. you slightly squirmed as you felt something wet on your tits and a moving pressure in your pussy. you slowly opened your eyes and found a large body looming over you.

“do you know how long i’ve been waiting to fuck you?” kuroo asked, lips pulling away from your clothed nipple with a pop when he realized that you were finally awake.

“three fucking years. yet you had the audacity to be asleep when i arrived? i’m going to wreck your slutty pussy, whore,” he growled as he scissored his long fingers inside your pussy faster. you cried out in pleasure, hands reaching for his wrist as you tried to slow his movements.

“d-daddy, i’m sorry!” you cried as you arched your back. he just grunted and removed his wet fingers from your cunt. you whimpered at the loss because his fingers always felt so good when they moved inside of you. he stared you down instead, large hands loosening his red tie—you noticed that it matched the lingerie you were wearing—and promptly removed it.

he bit his lip as he reached down and made you wear it instead, cock twitching in his pants as he reveled at the sight of you wearing his gift, and in his favorite color no less. he unbuttoned his white dress shirt, muscles rippling from the movement.

even though he didn’t play volleyball all that much anymore, he still maintained his toned body. if it weren’t for his salt and pepper hair, you wouldn’t think he was decades older than you. not that it mattered, anyway.

“you look so sexy in red, kitten,” he whispered, the sound of his belt unbuckling mixing with your heavy breathing. you gulped when you saw that he wasn’t wearing any underwear, eyes widening at the sheer size of him. he stepped out of his pants and smirked when he saw your reaction.

“fuck, your pussy is so pretty. can’t believe i waited this long to fuck it,” he hissed as he spread your legs, your crotchless panties baring your pussy to his eyes, making them twitch under his scrutiny.

he groaned as he rubbed his hard cock on your slit between your folds. you moaned at the stimulation, thankful that he didn’t thrust inside immediately because that would’ve been more painful than pleasurable.

“i was e-eighteen when we first met, y-you could’ve fucked me—oh that feels good—any t-time you wanted to, why didn’t you?” you stuttered as you shivered from the pleasure his slick cock was giving you.

you planted your feet flat on the bed as you took hold of his cock and humped it with fervor, moaning at the slick sounds it made with your lower lips.

kuroo hissed at the increase in stimulation, warm hands grabbing the back of your thighs and folding your legs toward your chest as he thrusted faster between your folds. you moaned louder as you let go of his throbbing cock to bunch the sheets in your fingers.

“you know what they say, good things come to those who wait,” he grunted, hips thrusting faster, making your pussy wetter and slicker.

“besides, you were still a shy and innocent girl back then—until i corrupted you, obviously,” he teased you as he moved one hand to your mouth, inserting his fingers between your lips. you moaned as you sucked, slightly tasting yourself on his fingers.

“i don’t think you could’ve handled this big...fat...cock,” he grunted as he clenched his jaw from the pleasure.

“but now? now you’re my little whore who’s about to know what it feels like to get fucked by a man,” he growled, separating himself from your body. you whimpered, arms reaching out for him but he held your wrists in one hand and placed them above your head.

“you’re already dumb when i fuck you with my mouth and fingers...they’re nothing compared to my dick,” he said frankly, fingertips lightly teasing your puffy clit, aching from the lack of release from the continuous stimulation of his cock. he let go of your wrists and moved his hand to your thigh, fingers circling your skin.

“i-i don’t think your cock will f-fit daddy,” you said in a small voice, staring at his twitching cock.

“nonsense baby, i trained you to deepthroat me, remember?” he reminded you, memories of all the times you sucked his cock filling both your minds.

“i’m going to train this pussy as well. you’ll be begging me to never leave your cunt after i’m done with you,” he declared, positioning himself between your legs again.

“now hump my cock again, kitten. faster this time,” he ordered you, fitting his cock between your lower lips once more.

“yeah just like that—fuck,” he groaned when you ground your clit with more force on his shaft. you cried out at the movement, pussy gushing out more of your juices.

“you like that, hm? like how you’re making my cock wet with your slick?” he taunted you, fingers squeezing the skin of your thigh as he rutted his hips faster.

“can’t wait for me to—shit—bottom out in that tight cunt?” he growled, basking in the heat emanating from your pussy.

you moaned loudly, hips rolling as the knot in your lower stomach threatened to burst. your breasts were freely swaying with each movement your hips made. you threw your head back as your mouth fell open, uncaring of the volume of your cries and whimpers.

“i’m cumming, daddy!” you screamed, pussy clenching around nothing as you drenched your daddy’s cock with your cum. kuroo followed suit, groaning loudly when he released his cum all over your stomach, staining the front of your barely-there panties.

“such a dumb cockslut, you came by just humping my cock?” he teased you. your face warmed in embarrassment, hiding your face in the pillows. kuroo chuckled, honey eyes glinting in mischief. well, he came by just humping your pussy, so he was one to talk.

he spread your lower lips, puffy clit exposed to the air. you shivered at the chill but quickly yelped when he spanked your clit a few times.

“d-daddy!” you exclaimed but he just laughed at you. “just wanted to slap your clit, baby,” he chuckled, hand slapping it once more.

you tried to squirm away from his spanks but he held you in place. he held his throbbing cock with one hand and guided it back to your clenching hole. he rubbed the tip against your sensitive clit before inserting his cock in your pussy.

“t-too big daddy!” you cried out, tears forming in your eyes as his cockhead went past your tight muscle.

“shh baby, i know you can do it. you can take my cock, yeah that’s a good girl,” he cooed, palm flat against your stomach with his thumb rubbing the skin. you sucked in a breath as he slowly slipped his cock inside your virgin pussy inch by inch.

“i’m gonna fuck you so good with my fat cock that you won’t even care if my daughter catches us,” he growled when he bottomed out. you whimpered at the force of his sudden thrust and the implication of what he said. he only let you adjust to his large cock for a few moments before he started thrusting lazily.

“you’d like that, wouldn’t you?” he taunted you as his thrusts increased in speed and strength. you moaned louder, body shaking with the thrusting of his hips.

“n-no s-stop! she’s going to hear you!” you begged, voice cracking when he folded your body in half. he began pounding ruthlessly into your pussy, the slick sounds of skin meeting skin filling the air and making you lightheaded from the pleasure.

“so? i dare you to scream my name, slut. watch her bust that door down,” he mocked you, hands pushing your knees further up your chest. you whimpered at the stretch, the sounds of the headboard thumping against the shared wall only served to make you clench around your daddy’s cock.

“fuck—how do you think her face would look when she sees you taking my cock like a good little bitch?” he growled when he felt you squeeze his cock. he grunted as he thrusted faster, balls slapping against your ass.

“yeah just like that, you want me to cum inside you? fill this slutty pussy to the brim? fuck my cum so deep into your pussy that you’ll get pregnant?” kuroo groaned, throwing his head back as he felt his abdomen tighten, the signal that his orgasm was fast approaching.

you held your bouncing tits in your hands, his silk tie only adding to your pleasure as it rubbed against your sensitive skin. “n-no please!” you pleaded, tears falling from your eyes.

“you’re on the pill, aren’t you?” he asked, jaw clenching because he was stopping himself from cumming immediately. he wanted to spill all of his load in one go, after all.

“y-yes daddy b-but—!” you squealed, stinging pain blooming in your chest when kuroo pinched your nipple.

“then take my fucking cum, whore,” he demanded, cock throbbing because he was so ready to spill all of his hot cum.

“n-no daddy! please don’t cum inside me!” you screamed, eyes rolling to the back of your head and tongue lolling out as his cock hit your g-spot.

“shut up and take it,” he growled, hands squeezing your waist as his thrusts grew erratic.

he groaned loudly when he saw your fucked out face, thrusting so deep that his cock teased the entrance of your cervix. his hot cum spurting out of his cock as he filled your pussy.

“daddy you’re cumming so much—oh my god!” you screamed as you came with him, legs shaking from the intense fucking.

“your cum’s filling up my pussy, fuck and it feels so hot too!” you cried out, throat raw from the sounds that came out of your mouth ever since he came inside your room.

kuroo removed his hands from your waist—one hand snaking around your neck, applying slight pressure to the sides as he rode your pussy to prolong his orgasm.

his other hand moved to straighten your leg, rubbing your outer thigh while he cooed at you. “you like my cum, baby?” he asked softly, hips slowly rocking back and forth. you whimpered, your overstimulated pussy aching from his never-ending thrusts.

his movements caused his cum to overflow and seep out the sides of his cock. the mixed fluids fell out of your pussy, sliding down your ass and drenching the sheets beneath you.

“don’t be shy, baby. you can tell daddy if you like his cum,” he encouraged you, leaning down to kiss you languidly on the lips.

“i-i love your cum daddy,” you tell him in between kisses.

“that’s my good girl. happy birthday, my sweet kitten.”

you open your eyes when your best friend throws the damp towel to your face. “quit daydreaming about him! you were moaning ‘daddy! daddy!’ like he was actually fucking you!” she yells while crossing her arms across her chest.

you duck your head in shame. great, now i’m even messier and wetter down there, you grumble. you wince when you hear the squelching sound—dear god i hope she didn’t hear it—as you shift to face her properly while she walks over to you.

“so! tell me more about him, what’s his name?” she asks animatedly, chin resting on her fists as she sits beside you on the island. you swallow thickly, a lump suddenly weighing down in your throat. you inhale a deep breath before coming up with a half-assed lie on the spot.

“he’s a shy and private guy...i’m not telling you his name yet because...i really want you to meet him in person, you know...?” you already know him—you’re related to him! you scream in your head.

your palms feel sweaty as your nerves are on the verge of frying themselves. you bite your lip while you rub your thighs together, wincing immediately as you feel her dad’s cum drench your panties and shorts further.

“well, judging by your reaction right now and the sounds last night, he’s not really the shy type when it comes to bedroom activities,” your best friend pouts at your secrecy and then smirks, eyebrows wiggling.

your face burns in embarrassment and guilt, if only she knew she was talking about her dad.

“anyway, i’m going to the library right now, i’m so done with this paper,” she said, rolling her eyes.

“take care and have fun laz—dad! what’s up? what brings you here?” she squeals in delight when she sees him and jumps into her father’s arms while he kisses the top of her head.

your pussy quivers at the sight of your daddy, and when his eyes land on you, he winks deviously then places his daughter back on the floor.

“can’t i visit my favorite girls on my day off?” he says to her while looking at you. your best friend is clearly oblivious to the desire that was swimming in her father’s sharp eyes.

“well, i’m going to the library to finish my paper. you guys can hang out in the meantime, but don’t watch our show without me!” she says as she walks out the door and ends her sentence with a click.

kuroo locks the door and turns to you, eyes glinting like a predator. he picks your body up and sits on the chair, settling you on his lap and wrapping his long arms around your middle. his large hand cups your cheek and he kisses you, earning a moan from your mouth when his tongue massages yours.

you kiss for a while and then he pulls away from your lips. he grabs your chin firmly, fingers squeezing your cheek open as he spits inside your mouth. you moan while swallowing his spit, hands reaching for his stubbled face before kissing each other sloppily once more.

“you keeping my cum warm for me, kitten?” he asks, lips separating from yours to leave kisses and nips on your jaw. you moan and squirm on his lap as his other hand sneaks inside the waistband of your shorts and inserts two thick fingers in your messy and dripping cunt.

“such a good girl for daddy. you kept his promise,” he growls lowly, biting the skin of your neck and leaving a mark which he soothes with his warm tongue.

“i think my kitten deserves a reward, hm? would you like that?” he asks you, fingers curling inside your tight walls.

“y-yes daddy!” you whimper, grinding your hips on his lap. he smirks and removes his fingers from your cunt and stands up from the chair. you whine at the loss of stimulation and he shushes you with his finger—the one he had inside of you seconds ago.

“let’s go to your room, shall we? daddy missed his favorite girl.”

[1:14 PM]

[angelamajiki]

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐚 𝐦𝐚𝐧

PAIRINGS: Yandere! Fatgum x Female! Sidekick! Reader

CW: noncon, voyeurism, bell bulge, size kink, praise kink, breeding, cunninglingus, bondage, dumbification

AN: This is a piece for Fern’s 1k Event! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ! Read the intro and first piece before reading this one! Ty <3 P.S. the italicized quotes are Nighteye’s and reader prior convo

Gluttony: The Second Circle of Dante’s Inferno

“What I like about gluttony,' a bishop I knew used to say, 'is that it doesn't hurt anyone else.'”

You hadn’t the faith to believe him when he said it.

It was hard to call the exchanges that occurred between the two of you a conversation. More or less, he spoke the truth of your reality and you simply didn’t have the gall to question it.

The elevator he thrust you into was cold and unnerving despite the cheesy jazz music that thankfully filled the void of silence you were sure would have deafened you if it prolonged itself. It gave you time to think on his words, more so than you would have liked to.

“The flesh endures the storms of the present alone; the mind, those of the past and future as well as the present. Gluttony is a lust of the mind. It is a poison that is all-consuming of the senses.”

Gluttony was the next trial, so it seemed. Lord knows what lies ahead for you, leaving you foolishly clutching to the notion that this circle couldn’t possibly be worse than the last.

The abrupt halt to the elevator allows the gravity of the situation to sink in fully. The inescapable horror was creeping in through the crack in the door, especially when it opened to find a man waiting for you.

And what a man he was, standing at nearly eight feet.

“Just the gal I was lookin’ for! I was worried my favorite lil sidekick had run off right after quitin’ time.”

An enormous, gloved hand clapped down on your shoulder, lingering far longer than you would have liked.

“Follow me to my office, yeah? I got something I wanna discuss with ya.”

And just like that, the string of fate slipped around your neck like a noose and pulled you along down the empty hallway, save for you, the man, and the numerous amounts of plaques, awards, and other celebratory memorabilia decorating the agency halls.

Judging by the pictures you saw yourself in, you were a hero of sorts, working alongside the unnamed man and two others you had yet to meet. Hopefully, your paths would never cross.

Even inside his office, you could see the remnants of what your life would be in this circle of hell. Whoever was with you seemed to be very fond of you, given the number of photographs and newspaper clippings adorning his desk and walls of the office.

“Y’know, I’ve been thinking about you a lot, and not just your fantastic work as a hero. Been thinking about what a fine woman you’ve grown to be.”

Those large hands found your shoulders again, stroking and rubbing to set you at ease in his grasp.

“Strong.”

One dipped down to your waist.

“Sweet.”

The other onto your arm.

“Everything a man like me needs. You sure fill my appetite in more than one way.”

Finally, the rest on your hips, thumbing circles into the soft flesh he took purchase in there.

Ah, so this was the glutton in question.

“I’m not sure I’m following what you mean.”

Just play dumb, maybe this circle will have mercy on you.

“Oh, don’t play coy with me, honey. There’s no reason to get all shy on me; I promise I don’t bite-”

His hand slid up to your neck, resting comfortably while enveloping the entirety of it with just his palm.

“Unless you ask for it.”

The whisper in his voice sent shivers down your spine, leaving you frozen in his grasp. It was undeniable that you would never beat him, no matter what your power may be in this world. Hell, if you even had one, how certain were you that you could use it?

Your options were far and few between, but laying down and taking it like some pathetic little bitch was not going to be an option for you. Not here, not now.

The shrill sound of your own voice even hurt your own ears as you cried for help, thrashing wildly in the grip of the man.

Your cries for help should have been chosen more carefully, seeing as when your two apparent saviors sped into the room, they opted to help the man pin you down even further.

“Damn, she’s being a feisty little thing-”

“Fatgum, let go of her neck! You’re gonna hurt her.”

“S-Should we really be doing this?”

And so you were left bound against the top of the desk, shrouded in a swarth of tentacles pinning your legs open and your hands above your head.

“Thank you, boys. Didn’t realize she would cause such a stir.”

So Fatgum was his name, or so it appeared to be an alias of some sorts.

“Fatgum, please-”

His smile was sickeningly sweet as he towered over you.

“Awe, no need for formalities with me, sugar plum. Just call me Tai, yeah?”

The two other men stood beside you, watching their boss closely as he dealt with you.

“Curiosity is gluttony. To see is to devour.”

Damn that cursed man for sending you down here in that goddamn elevator. This journey alone made it nearly impossible to keep this strength to see your mother again alive.

“Tai, please. I don’t-” His hearty laugh cut you off. “Begging already, sugar? By the fight you put up, I’d almost thought you didn’t want me anymore.”

“I don’t!” You protested, squirming in your slimy bonds before they tightened uncomfortably around you.

“Don’t yell at him like that. It's unbecoming of you.”

The raven-haired man snapped at you, looking down with a blush seared across his face and up to his ears.

“Relax, Tamaki. She just needs a reminder of who she belongs, ain’t that right? But, he’s right, I can't have you mouthing off like that, now can I?”

Slipping his black mask off his eyes, Tai fastened it around your mouth and head, loosely gagging you.

“Yeah, you belong to us!”

It was the redhead’s turn to pipe up before Tai shushed the pair of men.

“Now, now, I know you’re fond of our sweet little sidekick here, but this?”

He clapped a hand over still clothed pussy, rubbing gently.

“This here is mine; you boys can’t have this. But you’re more than welcome to stay and watch as I indulge myself.”

You whined into the gag, looking at him with teary eyes as he ripped a hole in your bottoms and panties.

“Hey, hey, hey. No need for tears, honeybun. You're safe with me, okay? I’m gonna take such good care of my little sweetheart, don’t you worry about a thing.”

His large fingers stroked over your clit slowly and tenderly, kissing your salty tears away as he shushed you with praise and loving words. Thumbing your clit, he pushed his middle fingers into you at a slow pace, grinning softly when you bit back a moan.

“Come on now, girl. We wanna hear how good I’m makin’ ya feel, ain’t that right, boys?”

Their collective groans of pleasure gave you all the response you needed; those sick fucks were getting off on you being harassed by your boss.

His finger sped up in pace, making you squeal once he curled his finger in an upwards motion. “Can’t wait to hear what you’ll sound like on my cock, sweet girl. Gonna sing us a nice song?”

Another finger slipped in as his free hand pawed at your tits, fondling and groping as he finger fucked you a new sense of vigor.

“As much as I don't want to hurt you, sweetheart, I’m just itching to get inside you and feel that pretty cunt around me. You understand, don’t you? I just can’t help myself when it comes to you.”

His lips continued to litter your skin in kisses to your face, licking at the tears that fell from your eyes when he added a third finger into your tight, wet hole.

“Mhm, you won’t mind if I have a taste, do ya?”

You could only whine in response.

“Of course you don’t, my good girl never says no to me.”

A hot mouth sealed itself around your clit as three fingers pumped in and out of you steadily, hitting all the right spots repeatedly. You squealed and shook in your binds, feeling your orgasm approaching hard and fast with the aid of his tongue lapping and suckling at you.

“Gonna cum for me, pretty girl?”

That was all you needed to feel yourself reach that blinding peak, sobbing and writhing as he rode out your ecstasy. His tongue continued to work at you far after you were finished, overestimating you without a care in the world. Your whines of protest fell on deaf ears as he just pulled your body closer to his face.

“Taste so good, sweetheart. I’ll stop when I’m finished with my meal, y’understand? This is my pussy, and I’ll do what I want with it.”

Leaving you twitching and sobbing, Tai finally pulled away and stood up, pulling his cock out and stroking it above you.

“Can’t wait to breed my pussy. Gonna make you my cute little cream puff.”

Both of his massive hands circled around you waist, pulling you flush against him as he sank all the way into your tight heat. The stretch of his girth was quite nearly unbearable as he pushed himself to the hilt inside of you, rubbing the small bulge in your belly with fondness while peering down at you.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. I knew you’d be so good for me. Yer takin’ me so well.”

Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as he slowly pulled out, leaving your legs twitching wildly when his thumb found its way back to your clit before he sank back in all the way. You could snark about how courteous it was of him to allow you to adjust, but the thread of consciousness was hard to grasp onto as he completely dominated your mind with numbing pleasure.

“You were made to take my cock, sweet thing. Let me give you a treat for bein’ so obedient for me.”

His praise went straight to your gut, as much as you hated to admit it, leaving you feeling pliable and soft under his demanding touch. Those hands around your waist pulled at your body, bringing you back and forth on his cock like you were a goddamn fleshlight.

“Ah, ” he grunted. “I don't think I can hold back much longer; you’ll let me be selfish, won’t ya?”

With that, all sense of tenderness and gentleness was thrown out the window as he picked you up from the desk, holding you against his chest as he jackhammered into you with an impossible pace of his hips.

“Shit! Squeezing me so tight, bein’ such a good little fucktoy for me.”

The sounds of skin slapping and the collective sounds of pleasure rang heavy in the room as he used and abused your throbbing pussy, feeling his grip on you tighten when he was reaching his own high.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum, gonna stuff my pussy nice and full!”

The bulge on your stomach grew even more as he came, stuffing you to the hilt with his cum and his cock. Ropes of it leaked out of your hole, even as he stayed inside you, panting and kissing at your sweaty forehead.

“Gave ‘em a good show, didn’t we, sweetheart? Say thank you, boys.”

Their thanks were mumbled out as they too had exhausted themselves just from the display of your pleasure. Tamaki’s tentacles retracted themselves from you, allowing you to stretch and return feeling to your arms and legs.

“Here’s what’s gonna happen, sweetheart. We’re - hey, are you with me? I’m gonna clean you up and take you back home with me, okay? No more hero nonsense for you, ya hear me? All you need to do from now on is stay home and keep that pussy warm for me.”

Like hell you were going to stay for another damned second in this realm, not after being violated so horrifically.

“O-Okay.”

Play it cool, play it cool.

“Let me go to the bathroom, then.” You swallowed, hoping to fool the men. “A-And I’ll get my change of clothes and we can go home.”

You didn’t wait for a response, hobbling out of the office before making a break down the hall for the elevator. Their shouts echoed off the hallway walls as you ran with all your strength left back into the safety of the elevator, leaving them running after you before the door shut on them.

“Gluttony is a great fault; but we do not necessarily dislike a glutton. We only dislike the glutton when he becomes a gourmet-that is, we only dislike him when he not only wants the best for himself, but knows what is best for other people.”

— tagging: @sightoru @anarchicmartyr @natsuonii @whumperooni @viixens @lunar-nebula @trafalgar-temptress

[keiachi-chan]

Digimon adventure hot takes with little to no elaboration! (Mostly 02)

Warning I get VERY heated about certain things. Feel free to ask me about any of these takes if you want to have a RESPECTFUL convo about it.

Fuck 02 Tk oh my god this stupid insensitive BITCH (I'd still kiss his face!!)

DAMMIT they ruined Kari. (I'd still marry her!!)

Yolei is every 14 year old girl (And I never really liked her????)

Cody can do no wrong he could literally bash my skull in and I'd take him for ice cream after <333 This is not a hot take I just love him to death

Piedmon could've been a great ally if it wasn't for the absolutely abusive "father" that was Apocalymon. Like Piedmon was CREATED to be evil and then nobody ever told them otherwise bc they couldn't!! that's not their fault!! (Its yours >:[ /j)

SORATO MAKES NO SENSE. (Taiora makes the smallest amount of sense if you squint REALLY fucking hard.)

Given the context we get, kenyako is a toxic relationship!! First of all, its parasocial, at least at first. Its like if I ended up dating that one tiktoker who makes cute songs about her cat and rainbow slug sensory toys. I have NO clue who she is! Yolei has a celebrity crush, and even ends up more or less HATING him at some point! They hardly interact and I'm supposed to believe that they're just together now? BULLSHIT!

If Myotismon was a human he'd either be a womanizer or a child predator. The second option is mostly just vibes (and also Kay remembering traumatic events involving his older cousin.)

Devimon was hardly a villain he just seemed like a very smart dude who accidentally made his creative outlet mind control

Tk should punch Ken one more time for good measure (I hate seeing Ken hurt but smack him again)

In an attempt to make the 01 kids (+Tk & Kari) seem "more mature now," Toei just made all the ones who get screentime at all fucking assholes (except Izzy he is still perfect)

Koumi makes no sense to me!! Why???? Its just the geek/popular girl troupe how dare you (maybe its better in tri but I will never know because I will never watch Tri I think)

If Koushirou was a villain the others would not stand a FUCKING chance HE STRAIGHT UP HACKED INTO HIS DIGIMON TO MAKE IT DIGIVOLVE they would die in a SECOND

Takari is too cliche for me to even begin caring about

THE 02 KIDS ARE SO FUCKING MEAN THEY LEAVE DAVIS ON A FUCKING ISLAND AND BULLY HIM ALL THE TIME AND WHEN HE GETS HIS GOLDEN DIGIEGG THEN THEY RESPECT HIM

THIS is my most.. passionate take and I will DIE ON THIS HILL. DAVIS IS A WONDERFUL CHARACTER IN AN UNFITTING SITUATION!!

HE IS A 12 YEAR OLD BOY WHO SUDDENLY HAS TO SAVE THE WORLD, AND IS THROWN INTO THE SPOTLIGHT TO BE BERATED FOR NOT KNOWING THE INS AND OUTS OF THE DIGITAL WORLD OR HAVING THE MATURITY TO ADAPT RIGHT OF THE BAT

JUST WEEKS AGO HE WAS PLAYING SOCCER AND GETTING BULLIED BY HIS SISTER AND NOW HE HAS TO SAVE THE WORLD? AND PEOPLE STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO EVEN THINK ABOUT HATING HIM? BULLSHIT!!

You may argue. "but Kay!!" You say. "Yolei and Cody and Ken are more mature!" You whine. "And your art is really cool!" You compliment

Well, first of all thanks, and second of all let me make something clear

Cody was RAISED to be like that™

Yolei has several siblings and has to help run a store! Of course she has to be mature!!

Ken? his goddamn brother died dude. Trauma forces you to grow up way too fast.

Don't even get me STARTED on the angel tamers If you try to make that argument against Davis using THOSE two, who were trapped in the digital world before, you're so mean!!

Davis lived a normal life before all this! He just grew up with the normal responsibilities and household and everything of a 12 year old! He's just a normal kid in a dangerous situation! Are you going to HATE a child for BEING A CHILD? Holy fuck dude!!!

I WILL DIE DEFENDING DAVIS HE IS THE MOST REALISTIC CHILD CHARACTER AND PEOPLE HATE HIM BECAUSE HE'S NOT MENTALLY 20

Anyways uhh if I come up with anything else I'll put it in a reblog

@tangledupblue you wanted to see this post I think-? Sorry if not

Oh also this one will get me hung; I like Taishirou better than Taito. Lol lmao.

[ayellowcurtain]

Maybe a convo during a date were Sander talks with Robbe about their future like being engaged or moving in together.

Robbe bites his lip, taken aback by the loud noise the electric shaver makes, and how it vibrates in his palm and makes Robbe doubt he can really do this because he can barely feel his fingers now. Sander's always warm hand sneaks inside his shirt, squeezing his waist, and Robbe meets his comforting gaze sitting there, with Robbe standing with one of Sander’s legs in between his.

"It's just hair, it'll grow in like a second." Robbe whines, not sure he can explain and not sound stupid how attached to a hair he is. Sander's hair to be specific. Everything about him, actually. Robbe loves every inch of this guy so much it's hard to let go, to accept change even if they don't matter, if they won't change who Sander is.

"If you don't do it, I will." Sander challenges him, and Robbe looks at what he already did.

"But I already fucked up!"

"We agreed to just cut everything off already. It's fuckig summer, and I'm always hot, and my hair grows ridiculously fast.'' Sander sits up straight again, the pool of dark hair that was in his nape slipping to the floor with no ceremony like it’s that easy to let go.

Robbe moves his head, not at all certain if he should do it but he knows if he doesn't, Sander will do it ever faster and he will probably cut more hair than Robbe is willing to accept. So he puts one hand at the top of Sander's hair or what’s left of it, finding some comfort in still finding layers and layers of long, thick locks of hair that he won't touch at the top of his boyfriend’s head. He holds with his thumb the longer pieces, and carefully runs the machine through Sander's temple to the back of his neck. He forces himself not to think about it until the left side is completely done, basically no hair left. He turns the shaver off not to cause any more damage and notices Sander's eyebrows going up, looking at him, waiting to be allowed to move.

"Okay...now it's done so no complaints if it looks bad!" Sander snorts, putting his arm around Robbe's waist again, making him stand in between Sander’s legs now so he can reach the other side.

"Come on, baby, just one more. I believe in you!"

"I'm gonna close my eyes and do it!"

"Hey!" Sander slaps his thigh. "Don't be mean now."

Robbe laughs, and bends down to kiss him just for a second to regain more confidence that Sander has to share.

"Let me just get this over with before I have a heart attack." Sander nods his head and tries to keep a straight face. He keeps looking forward, sitting still like Robbe told him to do, based on the five haircut tutorials he watched before starting this.

Robbe turns the machine on again and adjusts Sander's hair, keeping everything he's not going to cut safely underneath his hand. He tries to do it fast this time so he won't have second thoughts. It's easier than the first side but Robbe is still very unsure about the haircut Sander ends up with once he turns the shaver off for good, putting it back on the bathroom counter. It looks way too short on the sides, and that was not intentional.

He steps back as Sander gets up slowly, making all the hair slip down his shoulders and back. He looks at himself up close in the mirror, opening the faucet, wetting his hands a little bit, fixing the bad edges Robbe created. As Sander is busy, focused on cleaning himself a little bit, Robbe tries to really look and take it in. Sander standing there, with his pants a little too low on his hips, his black and fitted boxers appearing underneath it, the muscles in his back moving as he plays with his new haircut, and maybe, somehow, Sander can rock this haircut like very, very few could. He looks so hot it's making Robbe dizzy with want.

"You look hot." Sander snorts, looking at him through the mirror.

"Yeah? I thought you hated it." He turns around, pulling Robbe closer by his waist.

"I could never hate you, or your hair. It's like my two favorite things ever."

"Me and my hair, huh?" Sander bites his botom lip not to laugh, nodding his head slowly. Robbe smiles, putting his arms around Sander's neck. "And other things..."

"Other things..." Sander presses them even closer, kissing Robbe's neck very slowly.

"Yeah, I can't live without you, not even one of the million things that make you who you are."

"Never?" Robbe shakes his head, hugging Sander tighter, laughing when they hook into one of their positions, Sander so easily picking him up just right, his hands fitting so well in the small of Robbe's back and his ass, how Robbe can so perfectly keep his legs around Sander's strong waist.

"Never! Can you?"

Sander smiles, shaking his head, kissing him again. "Never. I wish I could spend every second of my life glued to every inch of the million things that make you." Robbe laughs, playing with the hair in the back of his hair, it feels so much longer now with nothing on the sides.

“So cheesy."

"You started it." Sander kneels on the bed like it's easy with the extra weight, and limbs, putting Robbe down on the bed like he was made for this, and Robbe lets go of him, even though he doesn't want to, keeping his legs around Sander's waist so he won't escape somewhere else.

"Will we get married?" Robbe asks genuinely but in a light way, not worried about the answer to that, just curious about Sander's actual real plans. He frowns like Robbe just called him the worst name.

"Of course we will! What kind of question is that?"

"And we'll live here forever?"

Sander thinks about it, pressing his lips together again, the front of his hair almost covering his eyes these days. "Do you wanna live somewhere else?"

Robbe never thought about it but it feels like it's something Sander would like to do, and Robbe would love to do it with him.

“I have nowhere in mind, actually but the idea sounds fun."

“And...do you think about living together in the near future?” Sander smiles quietly, nudging Robbe’s jaw with the tip of his nose.

Robbe smiles wide, turning his face to look at Sander, with his big, innocent, puppy eyes, and he nods his head. He would be living with Sander already if it was his personal choice but they both need to want to live together…

“Yeah? Really?”

“You don’t?” Robbe asks, a hint of insecurity starting to take over his thoughts, focusing his attention on Sander’s hair to not look at Sander and maybe see that it didn’t cross his mind until now.

“Of course I do. I think we could start really thinking about it...maybe go check some places…”

Sander lifts his eyebrows, like he’s making sure with Robbe if that’s okay. He pushes himself up on the bed, fluffing the pillow behind him, his heart starting to beat faster and faster.

“A place just for us…”

“Yeah, with a nice bed, thick walls, and a good enough bathroom.”

Robbe laughs, clinging onto him, “Do you like buying home stuff?”

Sander laughs with his enthusiasm and curiosity, wrapping his arms tightly around Robbe’s waist again to keep them flat against each other.

“I never bought much but I’m sure it’ll be fun with you.”

“A nice comforter…”

“A heavy one, please.”

Robbe nods his head, kissing his cheek, slowly going down to his warm, inviting neck.

“I want a new pillow too.”

“Fancy ones.” Sander puts his hands carefully inside Robbe’s shirt, scratching his back, making him squirm.

“Yeah. We deserve fancy ones.”

“We’ll have to go grocery shopping together every time.”

Sander moves back to look at Robbe, smiling. “We’re the best team to ever grocery shop.”

“Yeah, we’re the fucking best!”

“The best thing is: if there’s ever another lockdown, we’ll be together. Forced to be locked together, what a tragedy.”

Robbe laughs, kissing his boyfriend, hugging him with arms and legs, letting Sander turn them around, and Robbe sits on his thighs.

“What a tragedy, baby.”

[bellaslilpapercut]

Eclipse reread part 2! This is gonna cover a lot of chapters because I forgot to include stuff from chapters 4, 5, and 6 in part 1 (in my defense your honor, this book is very grating to read). Awayyy we go:

1. so chapters 4-6 really could have been one chapter tbh since the plot is: Bella ditches work at Newton’s Outfitters to hang with Jake and then writes some graduation invites with Angela. She pushes her rusty old behemoth as fast as it can go through driving rain but then hangs outside with Jake the whole time so I don’t really know where the rain went. She also manages to hear Jake gasp through her closed car door! Super sonic! Anyway, Bella insists that Edward is a good guy, Jake makes Bella hold his hand, Jake explains imprinting (yuck we can skip that), and then Edward drives threateningly past Bella while she’s on her way to Angela’s house. Angela reminds Bella that, at his core, Edward is a teen boy who is Totally Jealous of how Ripped and Sexy her 16 year old best friend is. Then Alice kidnaps Bella. Fun times!

2. During the imprinting convo it becomes very apparent that Meyer thinks the worst thing that can happen to a girl is getting broken up with. Somehow Leah got the “worst end” of the Sam/Emily/Leah fiasco despite Sam turning into a “monster” and Emily getting literally mauled in the face. What’s worse is later in the book, during the “Legends” chapter, when Bella wonders if Leah thinks Emily’s scars are a form of “justice.” Yea, Bella, that’s justice. 

3. I love this Rosalie quote but hate the entirety of they way meyer writes her story. Others have mentioned it before but Meyer writes Rose's dialogue there as if Rose is an author and not like...a person telling a story. An easy fix would be to format Rosalie's story "flash back" style rather than have her narrate all the way through. Then you can include all the superfluous details of exactly what everyone's voice sounded like and all the excessive dialogue tags you want.

I also Violently Abhor this quote here:

Yea, meyer, the Hot Girl hates your self-insert because her stupid ass brother didn't have the hots for her. It just reads like weird middle school revenge fantasy "I only hated you because you were so Special!!!" Sure, sure. Also "all those females!" People don't talk like that @stephanie

4. I do love the scene when Bella “escapes” from Alice with Jake (I don’t know why i put escape in quotes, Alice could definitely murk Bella) but then that whole adventure ends with Jake telling Bella he’d rather she die than turn into a vampire. And yeah, fair buddy, but also you’ve known Bella for a long time. This should not be a surprise to you at all even a little bit. a) she mentioned it before, b) you knew she would never get over Edward even if your plan in NM had worked, and c) you’ve known that she’s fully obsessed with the Cullen’s since you started hanging out with her again. The last time you guys hung out she went on an impassioned rampage about how lovely and good and fantastic Edward is (footage not found) I really don’t know why you’re surprised that this hard-headed girl is prepared to commit to vampirism for him. She is not normal lmfao.

5. The legends chapter. Oh boy. Stephanie, Meyer, Smeyer. Honestly it might have been less offensive if she had just made up a whole new tribe to give these backstories to, for all that they have in common with real Quileute legends but actually that would still be offensive and terrible anyway. I don’t know how to describe this adequately but if you’ve ever seen G.I. Joe’s portrayal of indigenous people that’s exactly what meyer made Old Quil and Billy’s dialogue sound like. Just absolutely dripping with Mystical Native/ Magical Native trope from the content to the tone. https://mthg.org/ Because it can’t be plugged enough.  

6. The legends chapter ends with this Wuthering Heights quote:

I have no qualms with it's inclusion, if you really want to push the Edward is Heathcliff and Bella is Cathy agenda, I don't believe it but fine, whatever. But those last two paragraphs are such a dumb way to end a chapter. Every chapter ending should make the reader want to turn the page: this makes me want to shut the book (actually I did take a long break after this lmfao). Anyway, just end the quote on "drank his blood," bold those three words, and end the chapter there. Don't go back and say "the three words that stood out were... Anyway it could have fallen to any page I believe in coincidence teehee!!" That's just annoying.

7. Okay guys I hate to say it but Edward does get a lil bit of ~character growth after the first few chapters. He comes home after having Bella kidnapped (she decides not to be angry, surprise surprise) and is all "so I've been thinking about it and you're right my Beloved Angel Face or whatever, please hang out with Jacob but also wear a helmet on your motorcycle my Beloved Dumb Idiot or whatever" (paraphrase). And he also says this in chapter 12:

Which is like, man I hate when I agree with Edward but I agree with Edward here. Now I know from MS that he only wants Bella to stay human because he's creating an Unfolding Drama in his head but this bit of dialogue is really sweet. And it's funny that he thought Bella didn't want to marry him because she just wanted to use him for immortality but it's also a Dark Reminder that he's literally only romantic with her because he can't read her mind and can't tell that she's just as obsessed with his looks as the other Teen Girls TM.

8. uuuh Jasper’s Backstory Time. This is so infuriating to read for so many reasons. So we know that smeyer got Jasper’s name from a confederate memorial/ listing (from a New Moon Q&A but the link isn’t secure so I can’t share) so I know that his backstory was always meant to be Confederate Soldier which makes everything else about his characterization just baffling. Again, he was the only Cullen that was genuinely kind to Bella besides Carlisle for the entire first book and he’s still incredibly kind during Eclipse (which is another issue I have though because no one mentions again that Jasper tried to eat Bella and they stand close to each other and hang out and Bella’s never like “this is scary, this dude tried to kill me” but i digress). The point is: smeyer knew he was going to be a confederate from book 1. She never addresses that this was bad, she never has Jasper mention that he regrets his role in the war, he is the only Cullen that’s actually capable of empathizing with humans anymore (Carlisle cares but I would not categorize him as empathetic), it just... None of these pieces fit together. This is a fraught and bloody history that smeyer throws in with no thought to how it might alienate black readers (though tbh she constantly emphasizes “white beauty” throughout the series so I doubt she cares) and the editors don’t question it either. No one, at any point in time, said “Hey, steph, you know confederates fought for slavery, right?” Every black american deserves reparations. White women and men who glorify the civil war should be the first to pay up. 

9. I’m gonna jump back to chapters 9 & 10 here (target & scent, respectively) to say: no tension is being effectively built. I get it, someone stole your clothes. You’re annoyed because you have nothing to wear and Victoria is scary. But where is she? Where is the volturi? Move it along, please! This is one of the challenges of 1st person narrative because the author is stuck in the eyes of, usually, the person who knows the least. Meyer is not a talented enough author to make this interesting. Not to bring up THG again but Suzanne Collins really knew how to work 1st person. Everything that Katniss asserts with certainty throughout the series gets either confirmed or denied by the narrative, keeping it interesting. She assumes the worst of the people around her so we’re pleasantly surprised when people violate those assumptions. We’re kept on edge by how little Katniss knows and SC never gifts Katniss with more knowledge than she could be expected to have. Bella is constantly gifted with knowledge and her assumptions are rarely proven wrong. You can dig into the canon a little bit more, read the lexicon and the guide, and find all the examples of Bella being unreliable or making wrong assumptions. But within the narrative she is rarely incorrect. She doesn’t get opportunities to grow out of her false assumptions (while Edward does, at least in Eclipse). So to keep the Victoria debacle interesting, smeyer has to plant seeds like- during these two chapters- Bella thinking of Laurent and Victoria while the cullens discuss who could have been in Bella’s room. That just doesn’t cut it for me. 

This is hella long and I’m only halfway through the book. I probably should split the second half into two parts as well but based on how talented smeyer is at stretching out the mundane, especially just before the climax, I probably wont need to. 

[thatesqcrush]

Stress Relief

AN: Rafael Barba x Reader. Nick Amaro x Reader. Continuation to “The Gift.” This is all smut, NSFW fo’ sho.’ CW: threesomes, oral sex, some humiliation/name calling (i.e.: slut), vaginal sex, anal sex, double-penetration, bukkake. Like the whole kitchen sink. So heed the warnings. Smut is under the cut. 

AN2: @itsjustmyfantasyroom​ requested: “We need that conversation between Nick and Barba with the leave up to that 😂 oh hot damn.” So, we get the convo between the two - so basically, it may be a prequel also to The Gift?

AN3: Apologies for any typos/misspellings.

WC: 2.6K words

**

Flashback to the events leading up to The Gift...

The second your head hit the pillow, you were fast asleep, snoring slightly. Rafael tossed and turned, unable to find a comfortable position. With an exasperated sigh, he climbed out of bed and made way to the living room. He turned on the TV and scrolled through the channels before landing on the cooking channel. Some celebrity chef cooking show was on. Whatever was happening on the show though, he was paying no mind to. Rafael could not get the image of you kissing Nick out of his mind.

--

The next morning, while you were showering, Rafael called the hotel to make sure all of the plans and accommodations were in place for your birthday festivities. Satisfied that the dinner and hotel reservations were in place, Rafael made one more phone call.

“Amaro, it’s Barba. We need to talk about last night. Can we meet?”

--

The coffee shop was busy with patrons needing their java fix. Nick popped his head in, before walking inside. He scanned the crowded shop before spotting Rafael in the back sitting in a half-booth. Rafael locked eyes with Nick and waved him over. Nick pushed through the crowd before landing where Rafael was. He pulled out the chair and sat. Nick was unsure as to why his fellow Cuban had called him – he had thought the air was clear, that it was a misunderstanding and that you were just acting recklessly since you were drunk.

“Thank you for joining me detective.” Rafael greeted. “I took the liberty of ordering you a cafecito.” Rafael pushed the small, but very strong, cup of coffee in front of Nick.

“Look – I thought last night was just a mistake. Y/N... she just got ahead of herself – it was the booze.”

“What if it wasn’t just the booze?” Rafael asked almost so quietly, Nick barely registered that the attorney said anything at all.

“She loves you. Everyone knows that.” Nick replied. “You two were made for each other. Just because Maria and I didn’t work out, doesn’t mean it won’t for you two.”

“I’m not talking about that.” Rafael replied, waving him off. “I’m talking about what if we wanted to make Y/N’s fantasy a reality?”

Nick nearly choked on the cafectio. “Excuse me?” He sputtered, spitting the dark liquid everywhere. He reached for a napkin and wiped himself.

“I’m serious. Look, Y/N and I have a very healthy sex life. We experiment, we play games, how is this any different?”

“Counselor, are you sure you’re not drunk right now?” Nick asked, eyeing Rafael.

“I’m not. I was just thinking I’d like to make it a reality for her. I have seen her with you – and you with her during interrogations.”

“That’s just – that’s a tactic used with perps. It doesn’t mean anything.” Nick explained.

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t fuck Y/N if given the chance?”

Nick inhaled sharply. He found himself unable to respond. Instead, he called over a waitress and requested another coffee. Nick turned his attention to Rafael. “That’s not fair.”

“I am not condemning you. I am offering you an opportunity.”

“So how would this work? Her and I … let’s say we hook up. Where are you in this little scenario?”

“I’ll be there.”

“So you’d watch? Or would you be… involved? How exactly would this work?

Rafael sighed himself and leaned back against the plush cushion of the booth. “I want to watch. If I decide to get involve, or if Y/N wants me involved, then I will.”

Nick sipped his coffee. Temptation called him. He had to admit the idea was enticing. Even though you were partners for years, there was always some kind of sexual tension between you and him. Timing was always poor. He was with Maria until he wasn’t. And when he wasn’t, you got involved with Rafael. And then Rafael proposed, he figured the door was shut for good.

“Does Y/N know about this little stunt of yours?”

Rafael shook his head. “No.”

“And you think she’s going to be okay with this? What if she’s not – this kind of thing can ruin a relationship.” Nick replied.

“I know my fiancée well enough to know she’s going to be okay with this.”

Nick nodded. “I’m in. What do you need to know about me and what should I know about you two?”

“We’re both clean. Y/N’s on birth control. I can give you copies of our bloodwork to show we’re clean.”

Nick raised his hand. “I trust you both. I’m clean too. I haven’t been with anyone since Maria.”

Rafael flashed a toothy grin. “ Okay. It’s just this weekend. Nothing more. Me entiendes?” Nick nodded. “Great. Let’s discuss her limits and boundaries.”

--

Fast Forward to Present Day

---

You slammed your hand on your desk after your laptop froze for what was the umpteenth time that morning. You had been in the office early to work on the paperwork that you were completely backlogged on. You had been sleeping like shit as of late. You also were concupiscent, or in other words, horny. Rafael had been consumed with “the trial of the century” and the two of you were passing ships as of late. Your once healthy sex life had hit a wall and you found yourself hot under the collar, wearing out your battery operated boyfriend. All in all, it made you very cranky.

“You alright?”

You looked up at the voice. It was your partner, Nick. You gave him a small smile. “Yeah, it’s just this stupid computer.”

Nick put down the cup of coffee he had in his hand. “Let me see what I can do.” You pushed your seat back to allow Nick into your space. As he leaned over, you got a whiff of his cologne and instantly your mind was transported back to the night of your birthday weekend. You remembered what it was like to sit on his face, his five o’clock shadow creating the most delicious burn. You remembered what it was like to have both his cock and Rafael’s cock in you at the same time.

“Fuck.” You mumbled. Nick turned to you, his brow raised.

Your cheeks flushed. “The computer. I am already so behind as it is.” You lied. Your breathing had increased slightly and Nick’s eyes glazed over your décolletage to the top swells of your breasts. He remembered what it was like to taste your sweet skin and have your tits over his face. His cock twitched under his pants.

Nick cleared his throat and tried to return on the task at hand. After pressing a few more buttons, he was able to get your computer back up and running.

“My hero!” You exclaimed. You gave him a full smile and all Nick wanted to do was pull you in for a kiss.

“You’re welcome.” Nick replied. “Um, how’s Barba? That case must be eating at him.” Nick felt a pang of guilt for feeling what he did – the rules on your birthday  were one weekend, which happened. It was in the past.

“Busy. Cranky. So you know…” You began.

“The usual.” Nick finished. You laughed.

“Basically. I just hate that this case takes up all of his time. We hardly see each other. I miss him.” You replied wistfully.

Nick squeezed your shoulder. “It’ll be over soon enough.” As he walked away, an idea crept in your mind.

--

The light to Rafael’s office was still on despite it being near midnight. Rafael was pacing in his office, going over his case. The grand jury was indicting soon and he needed to be ready.

The slight rap on his door interrupted his thoughts. You poked your head in. “Hey.” You replied softly, as you walked in.

“Y/N! What are you doing here?” Rafael questioned. He approached you and pressed a kiss on your lips. “Is everything okay?”

The sound of the door creaking made Rafael realize you weren’t alone. “Nick.”

Nick approached the room, shutting the door behind him quietly. “Barba.”

Rafael’s eyes darted between you and Nick. “What’s going on?”

“Look, I know you’re busy and stressed. We were hoping maybe, we could help with that?” You replied.

It was then that Rafael realized you were wearing a long trench coat.

“Y/N.” Rafael’s voice was low and warning.

“Oh come on, counselor. You’re all wound up and stressed. We can help.”

Rafael shook his head. “I’m too busy. I can’t be dist…” His voice trailed off as you removed the trench coat, letting it pool to the floor. You were naked save for the thin straps of material that dared present themselves as lingerie.

You whipped around to Nick and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a deep kiss. Nick’s hands trailed down your sides, to your ass. He grabbed a handful of flesh and pulled you tightly against his body. You gasped at the feeling of his cock, already so hard against your stomach. Nick’s kiss was intense; he swallowed your mouth almost as if he would never get another chance. His mouth moved along your neck and as he sucked a bruise on your neck, he opened his eyes to meet Rafael’s.

Rafael’s bright eyes were blown with lust. He moved to undo the straps of his suspenders, letting them hang off his waist.

Nick banded one arm around your waist and spun you to face Rafael. A large hand trailed down your neck, down your sternum, and down your abdomen to your cunt which was already soaked. Nick’s fingers pushed your panties to the side, the tips of his fingers were coated in your arousal. His fingers stroked the outside lips, teasing.

“She’s already so wet.” Nick panted. “God I missed this sweet little cunt. I told you then, I’ll say it again now… you’re a lucky man, Barba.”

Rafael could barely focus on Nick’s words. His mind was fuzzy as he watched Nick slip a finger inside of you.

“Do you know how jealous I am that you get to fuck Y/N day in and day out? And then I find out you’re too busy to take care of her needs and poor Y/N has been so horny.” Nick continued to goat. He slipped his finger out of you, causing you to whine. He shoved his finger in your mouth and you sucked his finger clean, pretending it was his cock.

“Is that so?” Rafael questioned, his voice rough and gravely. His shirt fell to the floor, followed by the rest of his clothes, leaving him just in his boxers.

You batted your eyes coquettishly. “Oh yes, papi. It’s been so lonely without you home.”

You walked up to Rafael and reached around to unclasp your bra, freeing your tits. Rafael growled and pulled you in for a kiss. His fingers circled your nipples, which were hard as peaks. He pinched them playfully, eliciting a moan from you. Meanwhile, Nick was sitting on the couch, shirtless. His cock was freed and he was unabashedly jerking himself off.

“Eres cochina.” Rafael growled at you. You smiled before dropping to your knees. You ran your hands in front of the tent in his boxers, feeling how hard Rafael was.

“You love it.” You replied huskily, before reaching up to pull the waist band of his boxers down. Before Rafael could reply, you took his cock in your mouth. Rafael hissed and he wrapped his hands in your hair, guiding you as you bobbed along his cock. Feeling particularly lascivious, you relax your throat and suck Rafael all the way down, deep throating him. The sensation alone was enough to make Rafael to near lose his balance but he recovered quickly. His hands gripped the desk from behind tightly as you continued to blow him.

Rafael’s eyes met Nick’s once more. Nick’s stroking was becoming more fervent. Rafael pushed your head off of him. You pouted and he caught your chin. “Nick is going to fuck you while you finish blowing me.” Rafael winked. As you bounded to Nick, Rafael swatted your ass, causing you to giggle.

You joined Nick on the couch. “How do you want me?” You asked Nick.

“Ride me baby.” Nick requested.

Rafael returned with a bottle of lube. Nick eyed Rafael. “Really? Lube here?”

“I told you – Y/N and I have a very healthy sex life.”

“Sometimes I say I need a warrant… sometimes I just need his cock.” You giggled.

Nick took the bottle of lube and poured some on his hand, before moving to stroke his cock. “Saddle up baby girl.”

You saddled Nick’s thighs. One arm braced his shoulder and you used your other free hand to guide Nick inside of you. You both groan as he stretched you from the inside out. You languidly begin to rock against Nick’s cock. Nick leaned up to capture a nipple in his mouth. You gasp briefly as Rafael shoved his cock in your mouth once more. Rafael drove into your mouth with rough strokes, causing you to gag and sputter on his cock.

Nick’s hips rise, fucking into you. You cry out around Rafael’s cock, feeling your orgasm quickly build. “God your pussy is so good.” Nick panted.

“Do you like Nick’s cock in your pussy Y/N?” Rafael asked in between grunts. A broken ‘yes’ bleeds around his cock as he continues to fuck your face. Rafael pulled out from your mouth, and you gasped. “Oh my God, don’t stop Nick! Oh fuck!”

Rafael reached for the lube and gathered some on his hand. He stood behind you, watching as Nick was balls deep inside of you. He looked over past your shoulder to Nick. “Lean her forward.”

Nick reclined more on the couch, pulling you close to him. Your pressed your tits to Nick’s face, allowing him to run his tongue on your skin.

You jump slightly feeling the cold lube drizzle along your ass. Rafael rubbed the lube over your puckered rosebud. Nick’s mouth was on your nipple and you reached down to rub your clit. Rafael pressed the head of his cock inside of you and you moaned loudly in response. Instinctively you rock your hips back, causing Rafael to push further in.

“Oh my God!” You cry out.

Rafael pressed himself so he’s close to lying on you. He moved your way hair out of the way and pressed kisses along your neck. “Cómo te sientes mi amor?”

“Full. Oh Rafael… fuck!” You cried out.

Rafael and Nick fuck you, finding a rhythm quickly. The pressure deep inside of you builds quickly and you come hard, your body spasming in orgasm. Your pussy clenched tightly around Nick’s cock. Nick continued pumping into you and before you knew it, he comes hard and deep inside of you. An animalistic grunt emanates from Rafael and he backs out of you to shoot thick ropes of hot come all over your ass.

Rafael collapsed onto the couch beside you and Nick. “Wow.” He panted. “Fucking wow.”

You hum in content, lazily kissing Nick. You break the kiss, and turn your head to Rafael while you lay against Nick, his cock still inside of you. You could feel some of his come weep out despite being still connected.

“Feeling better?” Rafael asked you. You sit up slightly to look at Nick and then at him.

“Mmmm, most definitely.��� You sighed contentedly.

“So this was your idea then?” Rafael asked, reaching over to grab some tissues to clean up.

You bit your lip and nodded. “You’re not mad, are you?” Nick asked as he stroked your back softly.

Rafael smiled. “Not at all. I think I made a mistake saying last time was one time. We were overdue.”

You light up as his response. “Do you have more to do here?”

Rafael arched a brow. “Can’t get enough, hmm? I guess I can come to the office early and finish.”

“What our girl wants, she gets, isn’t that right Barba?” Nick asked, before pressing a kiss to your chin.

Your eyes meet Rafael’s once more.

“That’s right Amaro. Now lets take her home.”

FIN.

Tags: @madpanda75 @tropes-and-tales @delia26 @mgarner1227 @beardedmccoy @youreverycolor @neely1177 @the-baby-bookworm @mrsrafaelbarba @skittle479 @ottosuricato @delia26 @sass-and-suspenders @mommakat32 @dreila03 @beccabarba @garturbo @lovebennycolon @imjustreallynosy @sweetsummertime99 @whyissvuruiningmylovelife @annabelleb49 @scarletsoldierrr @cesarofangirl78 @redlipstickandplaid @redlipstickandblacktea @zoeykaytesmom @differentshadesofgray @misssirenlove @esparza-army @bananas-pajamas @mishaissocoolike @thefanficfaerie @theenchantedgalleryofstories @catnip987 @choppedgalaxynerd @pieceofshittytitty @ktiz90 @evee87 @itsjustmyfantasyroom @blk0912 @detective-giggles @rampantmuses @jazzyjoi @caked-crusader- anyone else, just ask!

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 25.11.20 lb

new day, new title card.

dadi and angre gotta be dumb as rocks to see her sitting here like this and think she actually wants any part of what’s happening.

UNF YAAAAAAAAAAAS BABY WORK THE F OUTTA THAT BOD SHOW ME THOSE GUNSSSSSSSSSS MMHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

he’s thinking out loud about how the amount he asked for it waaaaay too much, but riddhima is a deadly combination of intelligence and beauty or some shit and honestly, boy.....

just stop talking and do more pushups, you himbo.

mmmmm yessss.

this fucker really asking for it haan.

mummy looks really pretty today. they should always style her hair like this.

anyway just the usual dhamkis of main tumhari saas banne waali hoon, saans lena mushkil kardoongi, welcome to hell, etc. etc.

oh i like ishani’s sari. also are they giving her denim jackets to subconsciously twin her with vihaan???

lmao angre having a freakout thinking she’s gonna consume the poison. he doesn’t know her at alllllllllllll, does he?

“yeh poison riddhima ke liye hai. main jaane dene waalon mein se nahi, LENE waalon mein se hoon.” LMAO YAAAAAAAAAS GIRLLLLLLLLLLLL

lmaooooooooooo she stormed off saying she’s gonna give it to riddhima no matter what. i honestly love her.

dang ishani works fast.

at first i was kinda surprised to see him so worried about riddhima; then he started yelling about how she can’t ruin his plan like this and yup...... sounds about right.

askldslkdjslkjdaslkjdlsakjdlkasjdlaskjdlaskjdlaskj RIDDHIMA SOMETIMES, JUST SOME TIMES, I LOVE YOUR PETTY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSS

lmaoooooooooooooo behen ne wholesale mein mangaa rakha hai zeher ki sheeshiyaan.

9 pm ka shubh muhurat has been given. aa jaana laash dekhne, it seems.

lmao kabir you dumbass, what is the point of brandishing a gun at someone who’s threatening to kill themselves???

she’s like kar hi kya loge? you’ll kill dadi or ishani and the baby. once i’m dead why the fuck would that matter to me?????? my death = none of these relationships exist anymore.

the face of a dude who has no leverage left anymore.

she’s like being married to you would be the worst punishment ever, and i would rather embrace the sweet release of death instead. Big Mood, sis.

and then i’ll meet vansh. and we’ll have hot ghost sex in the sky. istg that’s legit what she said. (“wahaan aasmaan mein humaara milan hoga.”)

ugh manhandling pe utar aaya hai. kabir you’re asking to be curb stomped. i hope ishani does it to you reallllllll soon.

she’s like fine ok i’ll marry you but i have a condition.

lmao there’s the face i watch his character forrrrrrrrrrr. i loveeeeeeee when he gets frustrated!!!!!

wipe alllllllll of vansh’s police records. destroy every single bit of proof you have against him. in one hour.

and i should do this, why???????

coz.....................

lmaooooooooooooo. honestly, i love how she’s just pulling them out from anywhere and everywhere. she should do a magic trick and pull one out from behind his ear next.

reminds him some more of how she won’t die alone, she’ll take his dreams of having all this with her.

he’s gotta be stupid as fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk to do what she says. that too without making copies and shit. so so so fucking stupid.

ishani is still here, just yelling about poisoning riddhima, while udhar usne ek rehearsal bhi kar liya aur live event ka invitation bhi de diya chief guest ko.

angre’s like calm tf down, b. i’m mad af too rn, but how is killing her gonna solve anything?

he says we’ve lost 1.5 people already. we don’t want one more dead body on our hands. we have to think carefully to figure out this big game. itna dimaag hai tum mein angre, toh why the fuck can’t you see riddhima is clearly being forced into it???? you don’t even bother to go have a convo with her about it??????

“hum vansh bhai ko nyaay dilaakar hi rahenge.” how, exactly?????? coz right now, as far and ishani (and i) can see, you’re not doing shitttttttt around here, other than glaring at everyone.

bhai waaaaaaah. jo vansh bhai jeete-jee nahi kar sake, mar ke kar gaye. good for them. i’m cautiously excited for their team up.

HOW DOES SHE KNOW THAT THIS IS EVERYTHING HE HAS????? HOW DOES SHE KNOW HE DOESN’T HAVE COPIES?!!? THERE’S LITERALLY NO WAY OF CONFIRMING IT!!!!!!!

he’s like vansh is dead anyway, so what’s the point of this????

she’s like his aatma will get shaanti. sure. coz he seems like the kinda dude who’ll be very very chill in the afterlife. sitting up there playing harps, he is.

the amounttttttt of confidence he has that vansh will never come back when they didn’t even find a body! THEY DIDN’T EVEN FIND THE ONE THAT VIHAAN CREMATED TO KINDA POINT TO IT AND BE LIKE OK WE GOT PROOF THAT HE’S DEAD. HOW THE HELL IS HE SOOOOOO BLOODY SURE!?!!?!

again, i don’t get HER confidence that this is all the proof and that vansh’s record has been wiped clean and his name has been cleared. first off, kabir’s a inspector or something; i’m pretty sure he didn’t even have the power to expunge records like that. and that was before he went rogue and got suspended. SECOND, BITCH, WHO DOESN’T KEEP COPIES OF LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN THE CLOUD THESE DAYS???????? anyway, whatever, let her enjoy this khushfehmi for tonight, i guess.

this manhoos ghadi she gave him. the nishaani of all the doom and gloom.

ooooooooooooh i get BOTH my hotties working out and all sweaty in this ep. OH HAPPY DAY!

mommy’s turn to be complacent and take riddhima too easy. these fuckers will never learn. 

shit i think i put nazar on his skin yest. he’s breaking out. or it might be the stress of marrying riddhima. ask the previous one, how much of a headache she was on an hourly basis. why would you willingly do this to yourself, pal????????

meanwhile this chick has broken some FD or some shit and arranged 50L in 24 hours, to go get her own husband to come into his own damn house and act like himself. such a fucking ghaate ka sauda. mature hone deti FD ko, toh inn saare manhooson ko peeche chod ke nayi zindagi shuru kar sakti thi. *sigh* whatever sis, your loss.

[beecherdrysdale]

Heyy, thank you for responding! I loved all of it!

We are totally hanging out first! Honestly I don’t understand why we keep putting you with Dylan in the same car, you win at everything. maybe I should switch the cars around and give you Ryan instead? But Brigid+Dylan is 😍 and I need that to happen. Wait imagine we are all in our cars and we just pull up all at the same time to a red light and we roll down the window and just laugh at each other and then we all zoom away. I would absolutely not let Ryan sit up front with me, we would probably start smacking each other and chirping each other and I would lose concentration so imma put him in the back with Braden :) . Quinner can come and hold my hand because he’s gorgeous and I wanna hold his hand. Quinton would be fine, he’s seems like he would be slightly chaotic. Kesh has the most chill car. Like Kirby, Dylan C and Devon are all chill and would just be calmly talking while Kesh is driving.

When we are all together tho, it’s more chaotic. Haha yes the braiding is not going well for Dylan and Jamie they’d be like “How do I do this?” I don’t understand this. Why does this exist lol. Yess I would have to pull over and make them switch with Devon and quinton hehe. They would just be calmly braiding your hair and then Jamie and Dylan would be slightly jealous and pouting in the back. Just a warning I love music so imma play that loud and roll down the windows. Only for a bit tho . Also kesh omg late night drives are so cute. Also imagine all of us in a grocery store, that would be so chaotic. Also why do I feel like Braden, Kirby , Dylan C would pass out for literally the entire drive?

Malt teaser are yummy, but what about sour patch kids orrrrr peanut putter filled M&Ms. Have you ever had those? I always get them if I go to the movies:) Nutella is good too! Imma be Canadian and say have you ever had all dressed ruffles? Nanaimo bars are delish, we can get them in BC ! I’ll buy you poutine brigid. The best is probably in Montreal so when we make a pit stop there I can buy you some!. Also let’s not forget chocolate and healthy foods lo. Carrot sticks anyone?. Also music would be great, imma play like a g6 or promiscuous girl cuz I love that song 😍

Chirp kings unite, this will be the main factor of our vacay lol. Brigid I’m sorry but it has to be done lol. We are gonna chirp you sm. Oooo you putting your hands on his abs, and feeling the muscles. Honestly I would too lol- sorry Quinner. But Dylan Holloway has an amazing body. Ryan and I would chirp you again I’m not gonna lie, but also you straddling jamie would be 🥵. Kesh this is for you, Kirby shirtless, in that photo with him by the lake. I unfortunately have not found Quinner by a lake. Aww kesh I loved the “I didn’t think I needed sunscreen” lmao your entire back is the shade of my blush. They do need sunscreen tho, pale boys.

The boat is a must! All of these activities are so fun, Brigid you would go on the same tube w Dylan?. We would definitely make each other fall. Tanning is a dream sometimes - but while your tanning Jamie and Dylan are looking at you 😏 same w Kirby kesh . I’m not gonna lie drinking on a boat is nice. Some white claws or margaritas lol. Aww one of them holding your waist, some photos are gonna be taken there. Lmao Quinner is gonna be like “I’m gonna get a drink” and leaves and then Ryan sneaks up and pushes me. But not so fast I would grab him real quick and we would both fall in l😂. Awww kesh, I love those little sentences you wrote “oh yeah babe, uh huh babe sorry , but look” that’s adorable that he’s spending time with you.

Drunk Quinner is the best, but I would secretly love that he’s being clingy 🥺. Dylan H seems like the jealous type and probably so is Jamie. But you dancing with them would be soooo cute! They just want be constantly around you. Kesh and Kirby would be slaying.

I’m going to let you have a break from Ryan and I causing chaos, he would actually be helping unlike me and I would just be watching Dylan h become jealous that Jamie is w you lol. But I do want a friendship w him too lol . Awww yes him pulling on your braids 🥺 my smart girl is adorable same with “my smart boy”

Haha ya, my mom refuses to let me have a one piece, so all I have are bikinis lol. That’s good brigid, we all have hot bodies hehe. #hotgirlsummer.

I wanna go shopping w you and kesh soooo bad. It would be so fun!! Vacay clothes are cute. We should all a little black dress and take everyone’s breath away lol. Oo ya Dylan and Jamie admiring you in your hit lbd or clubbing clothes 😏. Same w kesh, Kirby would be amazed like how did he get such a gorgeous girl?. I love stealing clothes - from my bro and friend . so I am on board with wearing the guys clothing lol . They would be comfyyyyyy.

Kk I’ll get you a Holloway and Drysdale jersey l!! And a Kirby and cozzy jersey ! Get ready for some gifts :)

Wow this was long.

Ok kesh what’s your favourite cake flavour?

Xo ly

Lexiiiiiiiii

ok yes, first of all i love all of this 💖

so ig it’s been decided that dylan and i are in the same car so we can dominate once again lol. and then jamie and quinton are there too and then jamie and dyl are just trying to talk over each other to have a convo with me, so then i start ignoring them and talk to quinton instead hehe. omg yes if we all pull up at a red light at the same time, i’m that one person who just keeps inching forward when someone rolls up next to them and then as soon as the light turns green i’m gone lmao. so esp if it was you guys i would be being extra competitive. haha yes banish ryan to the back with braden so he doesn’t make you crash the car bc we’re too broke to pay for rental car damages. and then quinner gets to sit in the front with you and hold your hand 🥺 and then kesh is just vibing in her car and then i feel like they would all get distracted and decide to go sight-seeing and forget about the race lol

haha yes when we’re all in the car together it will be so chaotic. and then jamie and dyl are both trying to braid and they can’t and they’re getting frustrated bc my hair is just in knots and they’re just like why is this even a thing? why do people actually want to do this? and then thankfully you pull over to save my hair and then devon or quinton has to fix it. and then jamie and dyl are just pouting about it and you and ryan start chirping them about it lol. and yes please play your music as loud as you want. i love having the windows down and just blasting music super loud esp when you’re on the highway. and then somehow kirby, dylan c, and braden are just asleep in the back? even tho the music is so loud lmao. definitely have to play like a g6 for the boys lol. awwww yes a late night drive would be so fun. idk why i just love driving in the dark

omg all of us in the grocery store together is literally the worst idea ever. like it would be so chaotic, all of us would be running around the store looking for whatever food we wanted. and we would not get like any healthy food, it would all be junk food, which would be horrible for all of us athletes lmao. and then in the end the cart would be overflowing and half the boys would come running up to us with more food they wanted and then the cash register would just be like wtf why do you need sm food. but we would end up eating it all by the end of our trip bc we all eat so much

omg sour patch kids, resees and peanut butter m&ms are like my three favorite candies so we would have to stock up for the drive. i just looked up all dressed ruffles and now i literally want to try them so bad. but we would have to have so many bags bc we all eat so much lol. and then yes i love dark chocolate, so bring any kind of dark chocolate. and then we have to be at least a little bit healthy and bring like carrots and peanut butter or something. and then making pit stops to get nainaimo bars and poutine bc i want to try both those things lol

hehe yes you and ryan would be chirping me the entire time, but it’s all good i still love you guys. somehow kesh and kirby are escaping your guys’ chirping. haha wow lexi ok i see you. quinner would be very jealous rn. but yes i would be feeling dyl’s muscles while we were on the jet ski. and then i have to straddle jamie 😏 it’s just to put aloe vera on. obviously. hehe yes all of their lake pics are so good. it’s ok that you couldn’t find one for quinner, i can’t find one for jamie either. haha yes they all are convinced they don’t need sunscreen and we’re just like sure.... 

yes, boats are so fun! haha maybe i’d share a tube with dyl, or maybe i’d go with jamie and make dyl jealous lol. either way someone would definitely try to flip us out of the tube lol. hehe while we’re tanning the guys will just be looking at us 😏 but then we would also all be sitting on the railing drinking and then you and quinner both finish your drinks so he goes to get you guys new ones and then ryan pushes you in lmao. but then you would pull him in with you to get payback lol. and i would just being chilling on the railing with my white claw dying of laughter

omg drunk quinner and lexi would be so cute together😍 like obviously you guys are always cute, but when he’s being all clingy and following you around that’s adorable. and he would do whatever you want bc he’s drunk lol. hehe dylan and jamie getting jealous whenever i dance with the other one. sorry guys, got to spread the love equally lol. and then kirby and kesh just being couple goals

haha yes so when we’re in the escape room ryan actually decides to help instead of causing chaos for once. so then you just go and chill with dylan and start becoming closer friends with him bc you guys hadn’t talked that much before we got to the escape room. and then you notice him getting jealous of me and jamie so then you chirp him about it lmao. and then i’m just helping jamie in the corner 🥺 and don’t even realize what’s going on lol

lexi i’m so jealous, my mom could never. we love a body positive queen. but we would all look hot in our swimsuits #hotgirlsummer. hehe we could go shopping together to get our suits when we’re getting other clothes too. and then we have to get cute vacay clothes so i’m not wearing athletic clothes like i do literally every day lmao. and then we would all get lbd and other cute clubbing clothes and the guys would just be in awe. like they would all be admiring us and maybe getting a little to handsy lol and then we’re like stop it we haven’t even left yet. but then once we get back we just steal some of their clothes bc they’re comfy and then keep wearing them for the rest of vacay lol.

ooooh ok i actually want to answer the cake question. my mom makes really good chocolate cake with cherry frosting that’s amazing, or i also like chocolate cake with like orange frosting. in case you couldn’t tell i really like the chocolate-cherry combo lol. what about you guys?

ily too 💖

[halfgclden]

Catch You on the Flip Side | Jordan&Devin

date: May 8th

summary: fight night, hot chip, weird bosses, big apples

Jordan opened his laptop, tucked his hair behind his ears, and then mussed his hair up again so it looked shaggy. He sent a quick confirmation message and clicked the call button on the Discord chat. He smiled as the call was answered, and rested his chin in his hand. “Hey. What’s going on?”

Devin flopped back on her bed and held the phone over her face as she answered the call. “Hey!” She grinned back at him and rolled onto her stomach. “What’s up? How’s your freaky delinquent camp?”

Jordan gave a small wave and raised his eyebrows at her. “I mean, same old, same old, I guess.” He wasn’t really sure what he could tell her that would interest her of the affairs at camp. “There’s this fight night thing going on in a few.”

“Fight night? The fuck is that?” Devin’s interest was peaked. “Say more right now.”

Jordan rolled his eyes but looked more amused than annoyed. “Man, it’s some shit you’d be really into, honestly. People are just going to some place called the ‘Rat Cage’ which is some creepy, unlit basement, and they’re just totally brawling it out.” He sighed. “My roommate’s going, and he’s this jacked dude, but I’m still kinda scared he’s gonna get brained and I’ll have to inherit two tiny birds and a giant raccoon.”

“Ugh, I want your life. The Rat Cage? The fucking Rat Cage? I’d kill for a good murder basement right now.” Devin turned her phone to show the sunlight streaming in through her bedroom window. “Literally kill, look at this shit. The walls are painted yellow like I’m a genderless baby and the only food Gene buys is like, fucking carrots and protein shakes.” She shook her head and turned the camera back to her. “Roll it back though. Giant raccoon?”

Jordan clasped his hands below his chin and looked at the room that seemed very warm and appealing. “And here I was thinking I was talking to a genderless baby this whole time. You’re telling me I’m wrong? False advertisement.” He exhaled a small laugh and nodded. “Big Spenca,” he said in his best mock-Australian accent. “He’s this big raccoon statue that my roommate got… somewhere? I dunno, I like to keep the mystery going. I think Tai’s working on a whole hat collection for him now. I’ll take a pic for you once I’m his father.”

Devin snorted. “RIP to your roommate and all but when he bites it can we take joint custody of this fuckin’, uhh, Aussie raccoon?”

Jordan raised an eyebrow. “Are you seriously asking if you can help raise a big ass raccoon statue with me, A) without seeing him, and B) without even being here? You don’t even have to go out to get cigarettes, you can just stop answering my calls.”

“Yeah? Duh?” Devin grinned at him. “You trying to tell me I’d be a shit raccoon mom? Asshole.”

“Um, yeah, duh?” Jordan made the Gavin Face™️. “For one, you’re a human.”

“Bigot.” Devin rolled onto her side. “I can be whatever I put my mind to.”

Jordan snorted and shook his head, covering his mouth with his hand as he smiled. “Fuck you. What’s up there? Just had your protein shake-and-carrot soup for lunch?”

Devin groaned. “Fuck, literally. There were so many peas in it. And kale, Gene’s trying to kill me.”

“Peas and kale, damn, dude.” He shook his head and grinned impishly at her. “You guys are like modern Popeyes.”

Devin shifted the phone to just one hand so she could flip him off. Immediately afterwards, she slapped her forehead and groaned again. “We are. I need to go get a burger the second this convo is over. Chop chop, let’s get it moving.”

“Damn, alright, asshole. I’ll hang up then?” Jordan raised his eyebrows but didn’t move to hang up the call.

“Do it.” Devin didn’t move to hang up either. “Been up to much lately or do people think you’re too weird?”

“You already asked that.” Jordan leaned back on his hands and watched his screen. “I went looking for shit in some tide pools recently. I found a crab and dangled it it from my sweater sleeve. It was pretty cool.” He tilted his head back and forth. “I went chasing rabbits the other day too.”

“Okay, fuck off, you gave me new answers this time.” Devin blew a piece of hair out of her face. “Sweet, I’d kill for crabs. Not the STD, shut up, I heard it when I said it. Chasing rabbits? They don’t feed you anymore?”

Jordan had already been opening his mouth for a retort when he was told to fuck off, so her just grinned at her. “Nah, they never did. I’m withering away to dust.” He pat his stomach and shrugged one shoulder. “We don’t kill the rabbits, we just chase them, but not too much, so we don’t ’anger the spirits’.” He did air quotes at the last words.

“They say the camera adds ten pounds but you’re still a twig on video.” Devin pointed her finger at the screen. “Hippie man.”

Jordan flipped off the camera pointedly and then shrugged. “You never answered what you’ve been up to. Your life that boring?”

“Ugh, literally.” Devin climbed off her bed and stuck her head out of her room to double check the coast was clear before starting towards the kitchen. “All I do is work out, fight with Gene, eat hot chip and lie.” She opened the fridge. “Got a job working at the mall. The fucking mall, I shit you not. What should I eat?”

“Oh my god, does he have you on lockdown or something? Not allowed out of your bedroom for a snack? Since when do you let people control you, Dev?” Jordan flashed a teasing smile as his eyebrows shot up. “The fucking mall? What do you do? Please tell me it involves a dorky hat.” He smirked at her. “Eat hot chip.”

Devin rolled her eyes and put her phone face down on the counter. “Whatever, asshole, I didn’t want him to try and argue with you.” She pulled out the ingredients to start making a sandwich, then propped her phone up so she was visible on the screen again. She pointed the knife she was buttering the bread with towards him. “Selling sunglasses. I have to wear a polo shirt.”

Jordan watched the screen go dark with his cheek leant against his fist. “With me? Don’t you mean you don’t want him to argue with you while I put my computer on mute and watch you tackle your brother?” He snorted and shook his head at her. “Sunglasses? Desgostang. What colour polo?”

“Exactly.” Devin snapped at the screen and went back to making her sandwich. “Pink and blue. Like, both colours at once. I want to eat it it’s so gross.”

Jordan snorted. “Why would you eat it if it was gross, freak?”

“Fuck you, that’s why. Creative license.” Devin put the sandwich in her mouth to carry back to her room and picked the phone back up. “Mmf mm hmm mmf.”

Jordan rested his hand on his stomach as he laughed at her and shook his head. “Come again?"

"Devin, are you up for a game of screw your neighbor?” Gene’s voice came before he did, and he gave her a smile. “Oh, who’re you talking to?”

Devin stopped before her brother. She took the sandwich out of her mouth and held up her hand until she stopped chewing. “Jordan.”

Jordan sighed and got ready to mute his computer as Gene tensed. Why didn’t you just lie, Dev, Jordan thought with an eye roll.

“Oh.” Gene frowned. “Why? Isn’t it, like, Friday night for him? Doesn’t he have some camp stuff?”

Devin shrugged. “I dunno, I’m not his mom.”

“Yeah, that’d be weird, since you have such a big crush on him.” Gene rolled his eyes at Devin, then stepped back to avoid getting slapped. “So no cards?"

Jordan laid back in his bed and willed himself to die.

"Oh my god, Gene, fuck!” Devin hurled her phone at him. “Fuck off, no, leave me alone!”

Gene sidestepped out of the way of the phone and braced himself for if she came barreling after it. “Fine, whatever. Don’t be so dramatic. And maybe give Eli a call while you’re at it.” He turned and disappeared back into his room.

Jordan heard a crash on screen and then yelling, and propped himself up so that he could see. The call hadn’t yet disconnected, and he heard a door closing, so he thought the call might continue, and gave Devin a few minutes to decide.

“Jesus Christ,” Devin muttered to herself as she picked her phone back up. “He’s a fucking dick, sorry for yeeting you. I was aiming for the face. Fuck his fucking reflexes.” Her cheeks were red, so she scowled and flipped the camera so it was showing the hallway instead of her.

Jordan shook his head, smirking a bit as he sat up fully. “I’m really hurt, being yote. The bruises are gonna last for weeks now.”

“Shut up,” Devin laughed, slamming her door behind her so Gene would be able to hear it. “How’s school?”

Jordan shrugged. “I mean, dope, obviously, but also, I have so many fucking assignments. My profs are just like 'oh yeah, you totally have enough time to write thousands of words in this language, also watch this soap opera that’s mind numbingly boring’.” He rolled his eyes. “Also, have you ever watched Spanish shit? It’s literally all soft porn.”

Devin turned the camera back on herself once she had gotten her blush under control. “Nah, never have, but that’s a convincing argument for me to start.”

Jordan rolled his eyes in an exaggerated way. “God, I should have never brought that up. Actually, can you watch it all for me and then tell me what it’s about so I don’t have to sit through it? Then I can get through my assignments twice as fast.”

“Do I have to comprender el español? 'Cause Duolingo’s only taking me so far, dude.”

Jordan snorted. “Um, subtitles? Can you read, or is that past your level of education?”

Devin laughed. “I swear I’m gonna hang up on you. Sorry I didn’t realize your Spanish prof holds your hand and gives you the translations so you don’t have to learn.”

Jordan flipped off the camera. “Do it, you won’t.” He grinned. “Look, you watch one movie, I send you the questions, you answer them, I translate. Then I can watch another movie and do the same shit myself at the same time. Sounds like a great plan to me.”

“Fine, fuck. Only ‘cause you’re begging me on hands and knees.” Devin pressed her cheek into her shoulder. “Desperation is a sad look for you.”

“Thanks, I borrowed it from a friend in Victoria.” He smirked at her.

Before she could reply, the Discord call was interrupted by an incoming phone call. She pressed the decline button immediately and scowled at the screen as Jordan’s video returned. “My creepy fucking boss won’t leave me alone.”

Jordan snorted and shook his head. “They’re that taken with you? I bet you’re saying this and they’re just calling you like 'hey… so your shift started four hours ago’ and you’re like 'fuck off, Meg’.”

“Maybe I’m just that good at selling polo shirts. Fuck, I mean sunglasses.” Devin shook her head. “Nah, it’s like, weird shit. Saying I smell good and staring like she wants to eat me. I swear she licked her lips the other day, like, full cannibal.”

“Oh? Tell me more about how you’re great at selling…” Jordan trailed off, furrowing his eyebrows at her. “Your boss said she wanted to eat you? And you’re still working there? What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“She didn’t say that, she’s just a fucking freak. She could grow six more eyes and a tail and I wouldn’t be surprised for a fucking second.”

Jordan hummed in thought. “Weird. Maybe you guys are like, meant to be.”

Devin gagged. “I fucking hate you.” She rolled her eyes and flopped onto her back. “But I miss you or whatever at the same time.”

Jordan shrugged, looking away from the screen as she got sentimental, however faintly. “Eh, we’ve been apart longer than we’ve been together.”

“You’re a dick.” Devin frowned at the screen. “I’m just saying I miss you.”

“Okay.” Jordan shrugged, not really sure why she brought it up at all. “And that you hate me, which evens it out.”

Devin ran her tongue over her teeth and considered throwing her phone again. “You don’t miss me?”

“What?” Jordan made a face. “I didn’t say that.”

“Didn’t say you did either.”

Jordan rolled his eyes. “Oh my god. Are you serious?”

“Am I– fuck you.” Devin tossed her phone to the side on her bed. “Sorry your new friends are so much better than me. Whatever.”

“Oh my god, Devin.” Jordan ran a hand down his face as he looked at her ceiling. “Are you being this annoying on purpose?”

Devin glared at a spot on her wall as she talked herself out of just hanging up on the call. “Fine, whatever, I take it back. Thanks for the reminder, it’s great you’re gone, I don’t miss you at all. Since that’s so fucking embarrassing.”

“Fuck off.” Jordan was still looking at her ceiling, but he could tell what her expression was. “Whatever. Obviously I miss you. Who the fuck else is gonna annoy me this much? Self flagellation, bitch.”

Devin pressed her lips together and, after a few seconds, picked the phone back up. “You’re so weird. Did you just call me a bitch?”

Jordan raised his eyebrows at her. “Bitch is inflection used at the end of a sentence. But also, you are kind of a bitch, so it’s up to you.”

“Bitch is an inflection,” she mimicked back to him and rolled her eyes, slumping back against the wall beside her bed. “Fucker. I’m a ray of sunshine. ”

“And I’m the goddamn Queen of England.” Jordan snorted and pursed his lips. “So, like, are you ever coming to New York, since you miss me so much?”

“Buy me a plane ticket and I’ll think about it.” Devin brushed some hair off her face, focusing on the smaller video of herself. “Or say please. Maybe even please, Devin, I miss you so much I’m drowning in my own emotions or something.”

“Ew. Like I have money for a plane ticket. Okay, alright. Devin, please come here so that I have someone else to make fun of. Please come so that I’m surrounded not only by the freaks at this camp, but the special kind of freakazoid you are. Come here and break my stupid bones so I don’t have to listen to another fucking campfire song.”

Devin threw back her head as she laughed and whacked it against the wall. “Fuck, ow, fuck.” She pressed a hand to the back of her head. “I’m gonna sue. Also fucking rude, I only broke like, two of your ribs. By accident. Or was it?” She paused and raised an eyebrow, then laughed again. “You’re so skinny your ribs are like little chicken bones. They seriously make you do campfire songs? Are you twelve? Do you get badges to sew onto your scout uniform if you sing real good?”

“You’re gonna sue yourself for being a dumbass and losing more braincells?” Jordan laughed as Devin banged her head against the wall. “Fuck off, asshole, maybe I’ll hang up on you. I didn’t call to get bullied.”

“You expected anything else? That makes you the dumbass here.” Devin grinned. “Fine, hang up. I gotta go meet Eli in like five minutes anyway for– get this– pilates. I’m my own worst nightmare.”

“You know, you’re right. I call you so much, you’re rubbing off on me.” Jordan snorted. “Desgostang. You’re into that shit?”

“You rubbing off on me, or pilates?” Devin snorted. “It wasn’t my idea, I’ll tell you that.”

Jordan rolled his eyes exaggeratedly and shrugged. “You’re gonna end up living in one of the yoga studios there next I hear.”

“Maybe I’ll move to New York so I can bother you 24/7. Should I bring a tent or do you have buildings there?”

“Ew, no, leave me alone.” Jordan was grinning at the camera. “Buildings? In New York? Nah, that’s a myth.”

“Yeah, thought so, all this fucking media propaganda.” Devin’s phone buzzed and she swiped the notification away. “Fuck, 'kay, I gotta dip. I’ll look up flight info, yeah? I’ll gut my boss with a shovel to get the time off.”

"Yeah, you know, there’s not a single fucking apple here? Let alone a big one. Fucking waste of time if you ask me.” He ran a hand through his hair and smiled at the mention of her actually looking into flight information. “Nice job admitting that to the NSA, bro. Catch ya on the flip side.”

“Hey, they gotta catch me first. Talk to you later, bro.” Devin flashed a peace sign at the camera and hung up.

Jordan closed his laptop, threw himself back on the bed, and pressed his hands into his face. “Okay, cool,” he said to nobody at all. “Fucking... awesome.” He sighed and got up, sat at his desk, and opened a book.

[punkscowardschampions]

Saint & Leilani

Saint: So, how many people with my surname have found their way into your inbox today? Leilani: few Saint: I hope those few have behaved and not been too taxing on your typing fingers or your patience Leilani: you're making it sound more fun & scandalous than it came close to Saint: That would be an odd but not unentirely precedented way to welcome you for us Saint: I'm just more than aware how...much, shall we be polite and say, some of them can be, even at the best of times Leilani: 😅 Leilani: are you forgetting which one of you I live with? Saint: 😅 Saint: I am in no way doubting your ability to cope with it, or previous experience doing so, just apologizing for the times you don't feel like being so gracious about their...persistence Leilani: thanks, I think? Leilani: the sentence was a mouthful to digest but I detected some sweetness in it Saint: I'm happy to apologize for my taste as well Saint: and will try to be more palatable Leilani: coming thick & fast but still smooth with it, that's impressive Saint: I'll accept that I'm potentially being much of a muchness with some of the more well-meaning but over-the-top members of my family, if that's what you're saying Saint: but admittedly, I'll struggle to hear I'm on par with certain ones who best remain nameless until I get more of a gage for your tolerance of their particular brand of care 😅 Leilani: I'm not saying much, personally, until I work out how much of this welcome wagon is genuinely what you'd like to say vs what you feel like you must Leilani: to make up for the rest or walk on eggshells in case I crack up Saint: Well, I haven't been instructed to talk to you, if that's what you mean Saint: and without a doubt, I have no idea how I would ideally like to broach this subject, because I have literally no firsthand experience Saint: I imagine that must be frustrating, is it? Leilani: it can be coming from you but not coming from you, if you know what I mean Leilani: deep in there, maybe you've got a whole other convo you'd love to be having Saint: I'm receptive to any conversation you'd like to have Saint: well, almost any, I'm sure Leilani: you & everybody else Leilani: the talk about me is non-stop Saint: We wouldn't have to talk about you Saint: I don't have any particular bias towards the subject of you, though it would be bad manners to ask you no questions about yourself, I can refrain if you have, like I said and assumed, had enough for a while Leilani: it's good manners if I'm in no mood to answer questions about me Leilani: but it'd be my bad to tell you to shush & end this convo just like that Saint: As you've saved me from the mortal sin of impoliteness with your rhetoric there, I'll save you from having to do so and can leave it there Leilani: take a turn in the hot seat, see how you feel about it Leilani: prep if I haven't saved you from 👿🔥 Saint: I'm not inclined to believe the creator would be that unforgiving, but that's what Catholicism will do for your morals, I suppose Saint: Fire away, as it were 🔥 Leilani: you're a catholic? Saint: Culturally, definitely Saint: I'm not sure my commitment to the church is such I can claim myself as fully saved, yet Leilani: mine goes as far as loving the 1st Eid for its treats & ignoring the sacrifices of the 2nd, can't call it commitment Saint: I don't think you're alone in that philosophy and approach Saint: but I don't necessarily think that's terrible at all, as long as you're finding some joy and fulfilment from religion- that is certainly a huge tenant of all the ones I've heard of, so it can only be a positive Leilani: how my friends celebrate 🎄🎁🎅 shows me I'm not Leilani: party > church Saint: Precisely, commercialism argument aside Saint: any promotion of togetherness, community and goodwill, what could be the issue? Leilani: the issue is in the confusion Leilani: people thinking it's something its not Saint: There's plenty issue around 🎄🎁🎅 but no more than most anything in our society today Leilani: if you're trying to take issue with something on any level, you'll find a way Saint: Don't you think problems should be solved? Leilani: if it can Leilani: big if Saint: Of course Saint: I think the if only makes the pursuit of more vital, I don't find it to be invalidating Leilani: sure but some questions aren't if or but ones Saint: Such as? Leilani: if I said, you're the fittest member of this family, let's go out, your answer would be no, becos you are a member of this family, it doesn't matter if you add I would if I wasn't Leilani: the answer's still no Saint: No, my answer would be that there's truly only one absolute in this life Saint: that I know of Saint: there are laws, ethics, morality and codes of conduct in all societies, sure Saint: but nothing is certain Leilani: birth & death are certain Leilani: one brought you here, the other me Saint: I was thinking about death Saint: birth is luck, usually, it's a little different Leilani: 🤔 Leilani: accepted Saint: We can differ on perspectives there, it's fine 😃 Saint: in fact, the father would probably want to put forth an argument for the opposite, now I think about it Saint: worse Catholic than I thought Leilani: I was thinking that 🤰 = birth, the certainty part being you don't get to stay in but you know Saint: I see what you mean Saint: anyone that is here is a certainty Saint: think we're going into Schroedinger territory there, I respect it Leilani: 🙀📦 Saint: 👍 Saint: who am I to say that whatever people are before and after they're people here can't debate philosophy Leilani: these are bigger questions than I expected Saint: And I wasn't meant to even ask how you were Saint: 🤐 Saint: go on Leilani: I've got a headache now 😅 Saint: Oh dear Saint: That's the first time that's happened, I would assure you but that sounds like a losing battle and another knock for my ego Leilani: your ego wants to take it as brush off, retro as hell Leilani: but I don't get questions that deep posed around me is all Saint: Retro...God, just don't take my 'deep' questions as a sign of pretension or I'm getting more tragic by the second! Leilani: it's okay I'm not a downtrodden wifey from back in the day, we're in an era where I can just tell you no Saint: and we're all the better for it Saint: though I don't think I've asked you any question where you'd be directly answerable to me 🤔 Saint: giving me a little too much credit for the universe and it's many questions there Leilani: I don't want your ego to end this convo black & blue Saint: That's very kind of you Saint: but my ability to take criticism could be compared to your ability to cope with Grace, just so we're clear Leilani: Grace isn't hard to cope with Leilani: I like her Saint: I'm glad to hear that, it would be really hard if you didn't Saint: harder, than it is, of course Saint: don't think I'm bashing her really, as I said, they all mean well, I can just imagine that relentless good intentions and meaningful conversations to be had would get very exhausting very fast Leilani: everything's happened fast Leilani: they're all playing catch up to the unexpected Saint: But you're the important one here Saint: most, although I was adding that to try and take the pressure off but clearly that's easier said than done Leilani: this is where I add something about pressure creating 💎 Saint: I don't loathe the sentiment but does it make you feel any better? Leilani: no Saint: then I wouldn't worry Saint: and I doubt there's anything hugely meaningful I can do to make you feel better in an impactful, big way Saint: but if you think of anything on a smaller scale that you would like Saint: don't hesistate to ask Leilani: will you introduce me to everyone in a retro way? Leilani: 🗨  & 🤝 Saint: That I can do Saint: The upsides to this family being as large as it is is that you're never short of functions to hijack for whatever purpose you may need Saint: and you won't have to worry about being centre of attention unless it's your birth, wedding or death Saint: even then, people have their own agendas Leilani: no pressure or as close as Leilani: when's the next? Saint: Exactly Saint: [literally whatever and whenever we want, offer a selection to show your point lol] Leilani: [picks the one where she can serve the best lewk because gotta make an impression regardless especially when you're nervous] Leilani: it's a date Saint: That it is Saint: if you'd rather show up with another kid, I'm happy to come pick you up from Grace's Saint: up to you, of course Leilani: pick me up 🚗 Leilani: I have no idea how Grace is allowed on the road Saint: 😅 Saint: I suppose they reckon the amount of potholes, we're all playing a dangerous game at the mercy of the council Leilani: 🙏 by god's grace like Saint: Seems that's all that's left in the budget 🙄 Leilani: 😅😅 Saint: I think you're in my sister's year Saint: Venus, that is Leilani: what should I think about it? Saint: You know you hypothesized that I was the fittest member of this family? Leilani: it's too late to drop the bomb that I should've asked her to pick me up Saint: She'll need a lift as much as you Saint: but meaning, she'd have taken DEEP offence to that assertion Saint: the headache would be realer Leilani: oops Leilani: & yikes Saint: again, not here on a smear campaign Saint: but I'd be doing you a disservice if I pretended she's universally easy to get on with Saint: perhaps you'll take to each other though Leilani: I'm not easy to get on with atm Leilani: but I do get a free pass Saint: You're doing fine Saint: unless this is your attempt at belligerence, in which case, sorry 😬 Leilani: attempting nothing but no pressure face to face intros Leilani: how could you forget already? Saint: 🤦 forgive me? Leilani: 💅 Leilani: hold on, I'll ask myself what my god would do Leilani: ... Leilani: yeah sure Saint: 😅 Saint: I was hoping distraction only fell under bad manners, not sin Leilani: it depends how you're distracting me Saint: What I offered would depend on how 😇/😈 you preferred your distractions Leilani: if I don't have both on offer how can I possibly choose? Saint: That's completely fair, actually Leilani: I know Leilani: so don't be unfair Saint: Wouldn't dream of it Leilani: is there anyone else you'd like to warn me about, while you're being fair? Leilani: or anyone I should run into the arms of like 🤗🤗? Saint: Warn would be extreme Saint: I don't think anyone is that bad Saint: I would have to know you better personally to say who I think you'd really click with, but there's plenty of us, I'm sure you will with someone Leilani: indulge me in the drama of it, St Leilani: 🤦😅 Saint: Oh, right Saint: you want the gossip of it all so you also have prior information on them coming into the conversations Saint: let me think then Leilani: I miss when my friends wanted to talk about that stuff Leilani: instead of me & my feelings Saint: That makes sense Saint: maybe you and Vee will get on then Saint: there's just a lot of drama to get into Saint: your head and inbox would be rocked Leilani: I've got time Leilani: & my head's already a mess Saint: Okay then Saint: bear with me if my typing speed gets retro Leilani: 😄 Saint: [just methodically go through all that is messed up with the fam nbd] Leilani: holy hell Leilani: I know I asked for that but did I though? Leilani: where have I come to live Leilani: 👋🚕 Saint: Yes Saint: sorry Leilani: hold on I need to just ✈️ Leilani: I thought my mum's relationship history was crazy Saint: It is what it is Saint: we all still manage fine Leilani: by the grace of god again, or whatever other means necessary Saint: Maybe Saint: I don't think it's all that dire now Leilani: maybe when I've come though all the stages of grief I'll be able to let you know what I think Saint: Look forward to it Leilani: I did make it sound really hot Saint: 😏 Saint: we're not all messed up, thank you Leilani: I'm used to being that half of the convo Leilani: you do you Saint: How are you messed up then? Leilani: other than having no parents now? Saint: Yeah Leilani: I'm not doing this right Leilani: any of it Saint: What aren't you doing right? Leilani: I miss her but like she's gone on holiday or a work course Leilani: not like she's never coming back Saint: Well, what's the first stage of grieving Saint: you feel like you aren't missing her hard enough, but if you were out of denial already, you'd actually be taking it way too fast Saint: be rude, right? Saint: Think of it like that Leilani: my rudeness is worse, wanting to hang out with my friends how I did before Leilani: care about 👗👠💄 Saint: Your entire world has been turned upside down Saint: of course you're craving normality Saint: I'm not just saying all this to appease you Saint: you're a kid that just lost her mum Saint: I literally do not believe there's any way you could get through this that would be wrong, or would reflect poorly on you Leilani: she needs to walk back in & badmouth all her worst clients Leilani: she can't be lost Saint: I'm so sorry Saint: that it's so unfair Leilani: unfair was when my dad stopped sending money & letters after going back home for what he said would be a few months Leilani: this is Leilani: I don't even know Saint: How old were you? Leilani: does it make a difference? Saint: Did it? Leilani: I'd just started school, so financially, yeah Saint: Do you know what he's doing now, like, where he is? Leilani: no Leilani: my mum said he had another family there Leilani: someone he was actually married to Saint: Right Saint: that was a cowardly thing for him to do Saint: the minimum would've been financial support Leilani: sadly I can't get it backdated Leilani: imagine Leilani: 👗👠💄 Saint: I'd have to look into it Saint: but probably not Saint: very hard to enforce at any rate Leilani: & taking food out of his other children's mouths, assuming he has some others Saint: Yeah Saint: but you can't be held responsible for his life choices Leilani: neither can they then Saint: I meant it'd be his problem to worry about and solve Saint: but I can understand not wanting to literally steal candy from a baby, as it were Leilani: I haven't been his problem for years, I'm Grace's now Leilani: this family's with all their existing crazy Saint: Okay, getting in contact with your dad for reparations isn't the first step Leilani: it's a mis-step Leilani: he fell off the earth, I'm not following him Saint: Okay Saint: so, what would you be doing with your friends today, if things were normal? Leilani: 🛍 Saint: So, I'll give you both options Saint: I can drive you to your friends, or whatever 🛍 you go to with them Saint: or you can come 🛍 with me Leilani: you can take me Leilani: they don't know how to act now that I'm 💣💥 Saint: they probably think they're giving you time Saint: but really, they're asking for it Saint: at least, that's how I see it Saint: maybe next weekend, or the next Saint: but we can go for now Leilani: it's okay, I wouldn't deal any better if the roles were reversed Leilani: it's not their bad that there's nothing to say or do Saint: You're very fair Saint: not to detract from how much of a 💣💥 you feel Leilani: you're flattering me like I'm not a 💣💥 Leilani: I don't know what that says about you Saint: It's honesty, not flattery Saint: The situation is a 💣💥 Saint: I've seen people handle significantly worse, that's all Leilani: it feels nice, honesty doesn't usually Saint: that's a resounding endorsement Saint: probably a bit too smug to put on a poster or LinkedIn but still, I appreciate it Leilani: you know what I mean, honesty is usually like that 💅 isn't the one or you need braces, child Saint: I think people purposefully conflate being honest with being rude Saint: but you can weaponize anything if you're that sort of person Leilani: yeah ☕ Saint: There's plenty of that sort at church Leilani: & the salon Saint: I've spent less time there myself but I imagine they're much of a muchness Saint: 👵 they all love me, obviously but father is a perfect case study for diplomacy Leilani: it's a type of church for some people Leilani: they take it as serious as a religion Saint: Hair and beauty has always been important Leilani: they just like being able to see results, there's no guarantee when you pray Saint: I'd argue there's no guarantee you get the result you wanted Saint: perhaps even less than 🙏 Saint: maybe you get what you need, not what you want Leilani: 😅😅 Leilani: maybe not for 👵 if they're trying to look 👩 Saint: it highlights the limitations of communication Saint: you think you've asked concisely for one thing, and you end up with something that's nothing like that at all Leilani: I swear I did see my mum work some genuine miracles, that said Saint: It is without a doubt impressive what can be achieved Leilani: what do you want to be? Saint: I want to work for the government Leilani: we haven't been talking that long but that has come through Saint: Is there any particular way you'd like me to take that honesty? Leilani: as a compliment? Leilani: I think Saint: 😅 I think I can manage that then Leilani: I'll tell you what I used to want to be when I was a child, that's weirder Saint: Not admitting it's weird, but go on Saint: I'm intrigued Leilani: clues: Leilani: 🦷💉🥛😁 Leilani: 🚫🍬🍭🍫 Saint: Okay, question, just the one Saint: did you want to be rich or did you just really care about oral hygiene? Leilani: I wanted to make people pretty like my mum, I suppose was the thought process Leilani: & 😁 = happy Saint: So it's even more adorable than I first thought Saint: you don't want to be a dentist anymore? Leilani: the reality is way more gory than I knew then Saint: That's enough to give me a headache Leilani: I need a job with no blood or pus Leilani: even typing that made me feel weird Saint: 😖 Saint: Subject change Saint: are you going to buy anything today? Leilani: do I need to dress to impress your family or just myself? Saint: do you want me to invite my family out shopping with us? Leilani: you do have a lot of sisters Leilani: but you know I meant do I need a new outfit for this meet & greet you're taking me to of the entire extended clan Saint: Oh, gotcha Saint: dress for yourself, of course Saint: unless dressing to impress makes you feel more at ease, in which case, go for that and you won't be alone Leilani: it can't hurt Saint: No, there we go then 😊 Saint: though you can still do the aimless browsing I know 🛍 trips are really about, of course Leilani: are you looking to dress up too? Saint: I like to look presentable Leilani: oh good becos if it was just me, Grace & your sister that'd be a statement Saint: 😅 Saint: don't worry, it won't be Leilani: I'll do my happy dentist 😁 then Leilani: as I'm thrilled Saint: I'm just as 😁 to hear that Leilani: I'll try not to turn it into a frown with excessive browsing Leilani: no promises Saint: I've got a lot of sisters, as you said Saint: I'm sure I'll cope Leilani: which one's your favourite? Saint: which sister? 😂 Saint: I'm not sure there's a diplomatic way to answer that Leilani: answer it honestly, I can promise not to slide in to share the news Saint: Well, Jay is older and we didn't meet her until she was a kid so that combined with her personality makes her the most chilled out now Saint: Vee is younger but still close enough that we were kids together, so that makes her prime annoying younger sister category Saint: then the twins are that much younger that they get to be removed from that, and I have more of that protective older brother in me Leilani: Okay so Jay's your fave Leilani: what's your brother like? Saint: No, I didn't say that Saint: but she wasn't here in the beginning and she's grown up and gone now, it's easy to have less negatives to say about her Leilani: how old were you when you met? Saint: I was about 3 when we found out about her Saint: but the process took a while because she had a dad that raised her and still wanted to even though she wasn't his like he thought Saint: I think I was about 8 when she moved in and spent most of her time with us Leilani: that must have been such a weird time Saint: it was Saint: Vee was born around the time we found out about her so Saint: that was a trial too Leilani: your parents have had a LOT going on Saint: Yes, it seems to be their forte Leilani: your brother then Saint: he's younger too, so again, protective Saint: probably because we're outnumbered too Leilani: an if question Leilani: if you had to give me one of them, as an only child, which one would you give me? Saint: 😂 an odd request but okay, let me 🤔 Saint: Probably Sekh Saint: from the short conversation we've had, you have things in common, that would work well 🛍👠💄👗 Leilani: you're gonna separate the twins? very disney channel Saint: It was either lump them in together there and offend them, or separate and acknowledge that they're separate people Saint: they'll understand 😅 Leilani: 😅 Leilani: safer if I ask Grace for a pet instead Saint: Sure that she'd be down for that Saint: 🐰🐹🐱🐶🐠? Leilani: 🤔 Saint: That is a big decision Saint: best to take your time, decide how much effort you wanna put in to day to day care Leilani: 🐱 or 🏠🐰 Saint: Cute Saint: got any names or do you need to see it before assigning one Leilani: it feels fairer to meet them 1st Saint: 👍 Saint: we can go to the nearest pet shop/shelter if you'd like Leilani: adopt don't shop, St Leilani: or else 👿🔥 Saint: Indeed 😏 Saint: but you know most shops rescue their animals now anyway Saint: except fish...but I don't know how we're morally meant to feel about breeding fish? Leilani: we won't buy any, be on the safe & 😇 side Saint: It's your day Saint: I wouldn't try to bring you down to 👿🔥 levels Leilani: thanks, I have only just moved in Saint: Definitely not my intention with this conversation, or any going forward Leilani: that comes through too Saint: Is that a compliment? Leilani: I don't know if you're 😁 or not to be a good & polite boy Saint: Why would I want to be anything less 😇? Leilani: becos of your name maybe Saint: Subverting expectations Saint: I'd argue people expect the opposite from me though, regardless of my first name Leilani: in your case pressure makes 😇 Saint: 🤞 I hope so Leilani: I'll subvert expectations for us both Saint: Is that your new plan? Leilani: I don't really have one Leilani: other than the 🛍 Saint: Well, you have time Leilani: yeah, it's the keyword that's getting thrown around most atm Saint: It's not provably true but it's most likely the case Leilani: & it'll fill an awkward silence Saint: I can clearly talk enough for the both of us Saint: it doesn't need to be awkward Leilani: this isn't, but remember how we ref-ed that you weren't the only McKenna in my 💬📱 Saint: Right Saint: is there anything you'd like me to do, beyond the formal introductions Saint: politely suggest some people give it some time, perhaps? Leilani: use the time thing against them, I like it 😅 Saint: Only fair 🙂 Saint: consider it done Leilani: we're back into retro hubby & wifey territory Saint: You think? Leilani: it's very defence squad but I'm not 😤 Saint: I'm not helping you because you're a girl and I'm a boy Saint: just because I have the ability to Leilani: I know, you're coming across capable Saint: I'd like to think so Saint: but bragging about it would not be 😇 nor helpful Leilani: I've got your back in hyping you up a 😇 amount Saint: That's sweet Saint: I promise my ego is not that fragile that I need you to but it's still nice Leilani: I'd like to think I am Leilani: that it's not all doom & gloom in me, but maybe time will have to tell, annoyingly Saint: It shows Saint: honestly Saint: you aren't what's happened to you, even if that is all you can think about right now, or feel it's all you're meant to, or are allowed to, whatever Leilani: whether or not I'm her death, I was her life Leilani: there's credit for how she raised me, I mean Saint: Definitely Saint: I don't know you yet, but I would like to get to know you, from what I've seen Saint: I won't throw out proud for her but, you know Saint: I would be in her position Leilani: I don't know what to say Leilani: that feels above nice to hear Saint: I'm almost certain she would want you to know that, at the very least Leilani: yeah, she would Leilani: she wasn't too humble for a brag Saint: 😅 Saint: you should continue that tradition then Leilani: you'll regret saying that when I make you take 10000000000000s of pictures of me posing in different 👗 Saint: 😏 I'll have to buy myself something expensive to cope, I'm sure Leilani: ⌚️ so you can keep an eye on the time Saint: I have an uncharacteristically free day today Saint: my time is yours Leilani: what are we waiting for? come get me Saint: That's what I was waiting for Saint: I'll be with you shortly Leilani: consent given Saint: 👍

[where-theres-smoak-2]

Dark Phoenix Spoiler Review.

Ok so I promised I would make a spoiler review once the movie came out everywhere. Also its been a few days since I saw the film so I’ve had time to think it all over and get my thoughts in order. Like I said right after I saw the movie, It was a great movie I really really enjoyed it. Did I think it was the greatest Xmen film ever? Well no I still think that’s DOFP (particularly the Rogue Cut). But it was still in my opinion right up there with Xmen, X2, First class and it was better than Apocalypse and miles better than Last Stand. It was a little hard to rank because it was very different from other Xmen films, it wasn’t as cheesy, comic booky style this one was much darker and very gritty. But anyway I will be going through the film talking about the good parts and the parts that I thought it could have done more with. The rest is under the cut as there are SPOILERS I should also mention that I talk about some spoilers for Avengers Infinity war and End Game and also for the season two finale of Fox’s show the Gifted. As fair warning this is long really long I have alot of feelings and thoughts so can I make a suggestion stop reading for a moment. Ok now pop into your kitchen make yourself a cup of tea or coffee or hot chocolate or hell even pour yourself a glass of wine. Then come back get nice and comfy on your sofa or bed or in your computer chair where ever it is you are and read this review. Alternatively if you can’t be f*cked with that just carry on scrolling ;) But if you do want to read a ridiculously long review written by a girl who is very much in her feelings well I’ve got one right here for you so read on. 

The Flashback and The Space Mission. 

The opening shot of the film is a flashback to when Jean is a child and she’s in the car with her parents. After getting bored with the choice of music on the radio she uses her powers to turn the radio over. And then all hell starts to break loose and she loses control of her powers causing the car to crash and for it to seem like her parents were both killed. We then see Charles bring her to the school and we have that conversation about breaking things, I actually think these opening scenes did a really good job at setting up the tone for the rest of the movie and it really gives us an insight into Jean and why she fears her own power. I mean it starts out innocent enough she’s just a little girl who wants to listen to something else on the radio so turns it over but then she brings about her parents deaths. I also think that conversation between her and Charles was very important to the rest of the film. When he says ‘whatever you break I can fix’ and she gives that very ominous reply of ‘not everything.’ Its very foreshadowing for what happens later in the film because there are a lot of things Jean breaks and no Charles can’t fix it all. 

So then we flash forward and see a space shuttle being launched into space. Not long after one of the, I’m not sure what they’re called but lets say NASA operators, notices a solar flare heading for the shuttle which causes problems with the shuttle. Now I personally feel like solar flares is probably something NASA should have checked for before sending their shuttle full of astronauts into space. But who knows maybe they just weren’t able to pick it up until the shuttle got closer or maybe the flare just moved really fast and wasn’t there when they checked before the launch. I also appreciate that if they had discovered the flare before then there wouldn’t have been a movie and where’s the fun in that so on this occasion I will forgive this fictional NASA for their error. But anyway I’ve gone off on a slight tangent there so bringing it back. We learn from Hank that the X-Jet isn’t designed for out of space travel and that it wouldn’t be safe to try but then the president calls and he needs the X-Jet to be able to get to out of space so we see Hank reluctantly agree. It was a small scene but I did love how Hank just nodded than he beasts out. It sure did put me in the ‘yes its go time lets go on a mission baby’ mood. I also liked that we saw that convo about the X-Jet maybe not making it to space because it added so much more tension to that scene. Despite seeing the trailer and knowing that they do make it there I forgot that in the moment and I was sat there on the edge of my seat thinking oh lord are they even going to get to the shuttle or is the X-Jet going to explode from the pressure. 

The scene of them launching into space, along with the rescue mission and then their arrival back was one of my favourite sequences in the film. For me it was very reminiscent of the film Armageddon’s launch. Like seriously go watch that scene then watch the scene of the Jet heading into space and you’ll see what I mean. Even the score (which by the way is amazingly breathtaking, like seriously Hans Zimmer out did himself.) was very similar to the score for that scene in Amrageddon. Again go listen to Gap for the Dark Phoenix film then listen to The Launch  by Trevor Rabin they really do seem to both have elements that are similar to me. All of it reminded me of those moments in Armageddon when you’ve got the X-Jet coming out of the baketball and shooting off into space, the news reporters, the people gathered around looking at their tv screens or up at the sky and then switching to the xmen in the jet enjoying the ride into space. Also when they return and everyone is cheering them. Those scenes along with the rescue itself were like a little mini space rescue movie within the movie and I loved every moment of it. But yeah definitely gave me Armageddon or even Independence Day vibes there. The rescue mission itself was also very well done. I liked how the whole team played a part and they worked well together like a well oiled machine. Hank flew the Jet, Raven gave the directions, Scott blasted the thrusters and stopped the shuttle from spinning, Storm closed the holes in the shuttle, Kurt teleported Quicksilver in and the astronauts out. Quicksilver got all the Astronuats to Kurt, Jean held the shuttle together while Kurt rescued the last Astronaut. Every one of them had a role and they utilised each of their powers in a way that worked for the storyline. Also the effects for each of their powers were really cool and again well done. I’ve seen some reviews from critics saying that the effects were sub par and badly done but I’d have to disagree I actually think the special effects are some of the best I’ve ever seen and were a highlight of the film. 

So next I want to talk about the Phoenix Force and the scene where Jean comes in contact with it. The SFX for the Phoenix energy are the best of them all. The way it moved was both incredibly menacing and somehow stunningly beautiful at the same time. Also the moment when Jean pulls the energy away from the X-Jet and her family and into herself made me hold my breath. One thing this film got right was how it built tension. I mean pretty much from the beginning of the film they were building the tension slowly, the scenes in the flashback and the ominous conversation between Charles and Jean, NASA discovering the ‘solar flare’, not knowing if the X-Jet will get to space, rescueing the astronauts, finding out one was left behind, knowing they only had 30 secs to get that man left behind, Kurt arriving back without Jean every one of those moments took the tension up another notch and then it comes to a head when Jean is overcome by the ‘solar flare’. Also seeing her team’s reactions was very emotional particularly Scott and Raven’s  and then when Scott is cradling her in his arms and she slowly opens her eyes. You would think you’d feel relieved but you don’t because as an audience you know whats coming next and you know she should be dead and so instead of that moment dissipating the tension it only racks it up some more. And then it’s kept up throughout the rest of the film you never get a break from it. 

So they arrive back home to cheers and its made pretty obvious that the Xmen are very much loved you know they are the world’s heroes. There are kids with faces painted blue and the little girl with the mystique doll and people holding up signs with their favourtie Xmen’s name on it. The Xmen are being celebrated, Mutants are being celebrated. I mean that shot of the little boy with his face painted blue was really touching to me I actually got wierdly emotional about it because in previous films we’ve seen how much being blue has affected Raven and Hank (and to some extent Kurt) how they never thought they would be accepted looking the way they did and yet heres this kid who not only accepts them but so badly wants to be like them that he’s painted his own face and for some reason that punched me right in the gut with all the feels. I loved that they were getting that validation after everything they’ve been through and struggled with that that part of them was also being celebrated and loved. 

However as we see from Raven and Charles’ conversation this adoration and love comes at a price. Raven points out to Charles that they are taking bigger and bigger risks and wonders if its because of Charles’ ego. But while I do think that factors into it I also think the situation is a little more complicated than that. I mean think about it what do you think would have happened if the Xmen had said no to rescuing the astronauts. How quickly would the world have started to turn on them, you just know that the next days headlines would have been ‘Xmen Leave Astronauts To Die’. And just like that they’d be the bad guys again. I do think this is also shown in Hank’s sudden turn around when the president calls, and the convo between Jean and Raven, its also pretty obvious that no one else in the team feels particularly good about going on this mission. Everyone thought it was a bad idea but as I said they can’t say no. They worked so hard and fought so hard over the years to get to this place where they are accepted but now they are trapped in this damned if they do damned if they don’t situation. So I do understand Raven’s frustration at the situation and I think she’s also frustrated with Charles because she feels like he cares more about the image of the Xmen than he does the actual people in the team and to be honest in that moment he did come across that way. Now I don’t think they portray Charles as a bad guy here more as someone whose ego combined with good intentions are leading him to make alot of bad mistakes. That is one thing I have always loved about the Xmen films that despite having superpowers and being portrayed as mutants and different the films have always focussed on how they still have very human flaws and failings and are often influenced by very human feelings.  So anyway that’s the beginning of the film, that’s our set up, you know the whole reason for the space mission was to bring Jean into contact with the Phoenix and now we can move on to the next stage of the movie.

Beastique

Ok so if you are not a fan of Beastique you might want to skip over this section because I am a huge Beastique shipper so in the next couple of paragraphs I am going to be gushing, crying and sighing over what could have been. After everyone arrives home Charles tells them to go enjoy themselves as they have earnt it. And so the younger folks go off and throw a party and we get a scene between Hank and Raven who are together in the lab. During this scene they are watching the kids on the screen (which as a side note did anyone else find that a little weird that they were spying on the kids like that? I mean I guess it kinda makes sense considering there were also school kids there and they had a fire and I think alcohol so some supervision was probably warrented but I also found it a bit strange.) But anyway they start by reminiscing about how they too used to throw party’s like that and how they are the last of the First Class team. Which leads to that scene. That scene where she’s trying to convince him to run away with her.  My God my poor Beastique heart. I mean I went into this movie knowing what was going to happen to Mystique they spoilt that pretty early on so this scene was very bittersweet for me. I also liked that it was Raven who was asking Hank to leave with her as oppose to the other way around. In previous films I did feel like it was mostly Hank who was trying to put effort into their relationship and who was chasing Raven so it was nice to see the roles reversed a little and see Raven showing her feelings. I just thought that scene was so sweet, I mean she wanted to leave with him and for them to have a life together. It really made me long for might have beens and it made Mystique’s eventual fate all the more sad and tragic because she could have had that life if she and Hank had left together. But she didn’t want to go without him and once Jean disappeared she knew she couldn’t leave without making sure she was safe first. Which brings me to her death scene. Like I said I saw this coming but I said before I went into the movie that so long as we got some scenes that showed that Raven and Hank had spent the years that had passed happy and together I’d be happy which we did. The one other thing I wanted was an I love you and let me just say... I didn’t mean like that!! Now I will however hand it to them they wrote Raven’s death scene very well. I know JLaw’s portrayal of her wasn’t the most popular but I personally loved her portrayal of her I liked that more vulnerable side of the character and that it was different from the original it was one of the things I liked most about the prequel series that with all the characters we got to explore other sides of the characters that were in my opinion more complex and nuanced than the originals more than just this is the good guy and these two are the bad guys. Don’t get me wrong I love the originals as well but I liked getting that other side of them. But anyway I do think it was a satisfying end for Raven’s character. She died protecting her family. The scene itself was very well shot and played the tension and shock value brilliantly and her goodye scene with Hank tore me apart. His just utter disbelief and him reapeating no no no over and over and her whispering out I love you as her last words because she just has to say it to him in that moment. It was incredibly sad and both actors did a fantastic job with the scene. 

One thing I do wish when it comes to Beastique as a whole is that they had spent more time on it, this couple have been criminally underdeveloped throughout these films. I mean they set it up brillantly in First Class I left that film very much feeling like they had that whole first love/ love at first sight/ starcrossed lovers vibe. But then they kinda dropped the ball on it. I mean if you were going to do this relationship then do the relationship don’t give me no half baked thing and don’t start what your not going to finish. I do feel like a lot of their scenes were filmed but then ended up on the cutting room floor I mean I will always both be very bitter about the Beastique scenes from the Rogue Cut being cut from the theatrical realease and very grateful that we did at least get to see those scenes in that extended format. I will confess that Beastique or the lack thereof has been one of the things that has frustrated me most throughout this series of films. Mainly because they always gave me just enough to keep me invested in this ship but never enough to fully satisfy me.  Don’t these people know that I am an obessed fangirl whose hapiness and misery in life revolve around these fictional ships and I demand to be fed. Of course they did give me nearly everything I ever wanted for Beastique in this installment. I mean guys my OTP were having the lets run away together talk and then we got I love you’s as well so I should be a very very happy shipper right now, but unfortunately that’s the eternal plight of the obsessive fangirl sometimes you get everything you ever wanted for your ship and then it is snatched away from you. The Kinberg giveth and the Kinberg taketh away again. But anyway emotionally unstable rant over with, the obessed slightly crazy fangirl me has been put back in her box and rational reviewer me is back so let us continue. 

The Drawbacks 

Ok so I will and can admit that this film did have a couple of issues. And I’m going to talk about them here because the two biggest issues I had with the film have happened by this point in the film. My first issue with the film, which I touched on a little above, is that I feel like they should have spent just a little more time building the relationships between the various characters before Jean loses control at her father’s house and before Mystique is killed. In particular I feel like Scott and Jean and Hank and Raven needed just a couple more scenes for each couple to show the growth in both relationships. But also I think there needed to be more scenes between Raven and each of the members of the rest of the team. And again with Jean and each of the other members. I mean it wasn’t a huge problem we still got enough to know that Scott and Jean were in love and to feel the impact on the relationship when Jean went Dark and Scott’s desperation in trying to get her back. We got enough to know that Raven and Hank were in love and felt that impact of her death and to make sense of Hank’s decisions and motivations after. We got enough to know that this group of people were a family and what was happening with Jean and what happened to Mystique was tearing it apart. So yes we still got enough for it make sense but I feel like with just a few extra scenes spent building those relationships it would have added just a little more punch to those emotionally charged scenes.

The thing is when me and my sister left the cinema one of the first things she said to me after ‘that was good,’ was ‘but it seemed really short it was only like an hour long.’ At the time I argued that no it must have just seemed short because it was fast paced but actually she was right this film wasn’t even 2 hours long (the runtime was 1hr 54 min) making it the shortest in the prequel series. And to be honest I don’t understand why they didn’t make it longer. I do feel like the film suffered a bit from the shorter runtime and alot of the issues with the film could have been fixed if they had just added an extra half hour and brought it to around the 2hrs 30min mark. They would have had more time to develop those relationships and also explore the backstory of the Alien villians a little which is another place where the film fell a little short. The film was very fast paced and I do wonder why I mean they were not messing about they got right into it, It was only like 10-15 mins in when Jean was infected with the Phoenix. I do wonder if some of it was down to the reviews from Apocalypse saying it was too slow in places so they tried to conteract that in this film and went too far the other way. It does appear like a lot of stuff was cut out there were several moments from the trailers and screenshots that didn’t appear in the film. For example when Scott asks Charles tell me what to do and Charles bursts out I don’t know what to do. I don’t remember seeing that in the film. Also that screenshot of Eric in a wheelchair and Hank, Storm and Kurt are with them that wasn’t in there either. Now me personally one thing I would love is if when they release it to DVD they do the same thing they did with DOFP The Rogue Cut and release an extended version of the film. 

So the next thing that bothered me was that there wasn’t enough Quicksilver. His scenes have been highlights of the previous movies and I was hoping to see that big Quicksilver sequence but sadly we never got it instead we got two smaller scenes (which I loved them both) before Quicksilver is badly injured and taken out of comission for the rest of the movie. I am happy they gave us that scene at the end that showed us he was ok. But I do wish we had gotten more scenes with him. That being said I have learned that the reason why Quicksilver had such a small part in this movie was because Evan Peters had conflicts in his filming schedules for this and American Horror Story. So I can forgive them for the smaller part as it wasn’t really the film producer’s fault. I have decided instead I am just going to be grateful that he was in the film at all and appreciate the scenes we did get. Obviously it was disappointing that we didn’t get a conclusion to the whole Dadneto storyline but then I read an interview where Simon Kinberg talked about why and he said that he chose not to do it because with the limited time they had with Evan Peters he didn’t feel like there was enough time to do the story justice. To be honest I actually have a lot of respect for him for making that decision and sticking to it I mean he could’ve caved and done a rushed scene where it gets resolved but it wouldn’t have given the storyline the time and attention it deserves. As he said it was the story that deserved to be told properly and I think that him deciding that if he couldn’t give that storyline the attention and time it needed to be done well then he wasn’t going to do it all shows that he cares about and has a lot of respect for the characters. I am also glad that as they couldn’t do the story they didn’t have any scenes with Quicksilver and Magneto because that would have been too painful to see them in the same space and not have that reveal. So yeah as disappointed as I am that we never got any Dadneto scenes I can appreciate and respect Kinberg’s reasons behind it. Personally I’m holding out and praying for a solo Quicksilver film.   

Every Hero Has a Dark Side.

So as all of the promo posters for this movie suggest this theme of a person’s inner darkness is played on throughout the movie. The thing I really liked about this movie was even though the main focus was on Jean and her struggle with this Dark Force that had taken over her all of the characters have moments where their darker side comes through with varying degrees. I mean during the fight scenes no one was holding back because they were up against a friend or family member I mean I really got the sense that they were gunning for each other which for me was both surprising and horrifying which you know I think it was suppose to get that reaction from you. But yeah every character had that darker moment. So starting with the ones that had less of a conflict going on to the ones who had some really dark moments (I am not going to include Jean, Mystique or Quicksilver here because I want to discuss Jean in her own section and the other two weren’t really in it enough to have much to talk about). Storm doesn’t go that dark but has that moment of doubt about Jean where she goes to Scott and says that she thinks Jean did mean to kill Mystique and has that line about how sometimes you think a person is something but then by the time you learn they are something else its too late. It’s obvious Storm is very conflicted about the whole Jean thing but in the end she goes along with Scott because its Scott and she has a bond with him and Jean. I do wonder if in the previous version Storm also goes against Jean as I did feel like there were hints that she also believed Jean was a lost cause and should be killed but ultimately sided with the Xmen because Scott asked her to so I do feel like Storm’s darkness is displayed in her considering killing Jean and turning her back on her as I feel she more went along with the team out of support for Scott than out of actually wanting to rescue Jean. Scott’s dark moment came later and again like Storm wasn’t so overly done that it seemed wildly out of character. That was when he tells Eric ‘if you touch Jean I will f*cking kill you.’ You know what? He meant it, I believed he meant it in that moment. Actually little tidbit for you but in the cinema like 50% of the audience gasped and the other half made oooh sounds at that moment. I actually loved that scene I think it showed Scott as being someone who was strong and would protect the ones he loved at any cost like I knew that he would kill anyone who tried to hurt Jean. Scott’s story in this film is one of desperation. I mean you have to look at his journey in the story. The woman he loves is doing all these awful things to their own family, He had to watch her kill someone who had a maternal role in their lifes who he had love for, and then I think Hank’s decision to go after Jean had a big effect on Scott as well. I know the film seems to set Charles up as Jean’s father type figure but in regards to Scott especially when you look at their relationship in Apocalypse I would argue that Hank has that more paternal bond with Scott. Charles is definitely a mentor role but I do think we need to remember that its Hank and Raven who helped raise these kids up too. So for Scott this man (Hank) who he does have a father/ big brother type bond with, a man he would ordinarily turn to in tough times and who he admires is trying to kill the woman Scott loves. Scott must feel so betrayed and like Hank has turned against him too. I really think the characters darkest moments though (and this includes Storm) come out in their fight scene against each other when they are trying to get to Jean. Like when I saw the two sides approaching each other I thought oh they’ll hold back a bit because they won’t want to accidently hurt each other. But nope there was no holding back and actually it did seem like they wanted to hurt each other. There was a lot of hurt and anger behind those scenes and I was actually shocked by how agressive they were being towards each other. It was horrifying and heartbreaking. Ok so next on are list is Kurt. Oh lil baby Kurt. Kurt is one of those characters that is so sweet and innocent and so very child like that you can’t imagine him ever doing anything that could be deemed even a little dark despite his father being a literal demon. But there is one moment in this film where poor little Kurt just snaps. And I loved it. It also made sense to me in that moment it was the only way I could ever see Kurt being agressive like that. I mean again if you look at his journey in the film so far, he’s had to leave behind one of his team mates during the space mission which he believes at the time had lead to her death only by some miracle she survives and he thinks its all ok. Then he finds out that actually she wasn’t fine at all and being hit by that energy has changed her, he witnesses Jean who is like a sister to him kill Mystique who I feel like she very much had a mothering type role in all of the younger team members lifes. He also sees Jean actively hurting other members of his family. Which he must have some sense of guilt over because in his mind he left her behind. Then he has to watch the world that had come to love and admire and basically worship him and his team mates turn on them and treat them once again as dangerous. And I think the final straw was the man who tells him his son used to be a fan, the same man who lets them go when the aliens show up because he trusts that the xmen can protect them, is killed. Kurt knows that this man has a son at home, a son that once admired Kurt and hero worshipped him, a son whose now going to have someone come to his door and tell him his dad is dead. Kurt is such a soft soul that he was able to feel a connection with this man and his child and so when that man dies Kurt is devastated and it leads him to snap and go full on BAMF on them all. I mean I loved his fight with that alien woman. My favourite part was when they were on the train tracks and she’s all yeah I’ve won, I’ve got you, I’m gonna kill you and Kurt just gives her the look. The ‘uh uh b*tch I’ve got you’ look then teleports away leaving her dumb ass to get hit by a train. Again another side note here but I actually laughed at that moment when she got hit by the train, I don’t think I suppose to but yeah me and my sister just looked at each other (the only time we did make eye contact during the film) and just smiled at each other then laughed. I mean in regards to Kurt I was conflicted during his fight scene because one part of me really wanted to see him rip that woman to shreds, I wanted to see how powerful he was and I loved them showing him using that power in a different more offensive as oppose to defensive way. I wanted to see him win that fight naturally. But at the same time when I thought about everything he had gone through to lead him to that moment of snapping I just wanted to wrap him in a hug and wish he could go back to being that innocent childlike cinnamon roll. Because its tragic what happens to him, well what happens to them all really they are all put through hell in this film and its a very tragic and sad story but one that I thought was told well. 

Ok so next one to talk about the dark side with is Charles. Now Charles is the anamoly I think in this story because where the others all primarily start out good and then throughout the film slowly become darker Charles is the opposite way around. When we see him again in this film after Apocalypse he is well he’s a bit of a douchbag. I do wonder how much the events of Apocalypse have played a part in his new attitude I mean being mindf*cked by Apocalypse like that must have had some impact on him. But anyway he’s enjoying having his ego stroked by all these powerful politicians and influential people. He’s getting awards and being on magazine covers and he’s eating it all up, having a good old feast. Which again makes sense for his character in this storyline as he says to Raven when she says ‘you enjoy it don’t you’ and he replies ‘as oppose to being hunted and despised well you know actually I do’. He knows that things are going well at the moment the world believes they need the X-Men but Charles also knows as he says they are only one bad day away from being hated again. He does care for his team and want to keep them safe, I mean he does express concern for Jean when she does return but he’s also willing to go to extreme measures to achieve that dream of complete acceptance. When he says its all about a means to an end and Raven says something about even if it means risking the teams lives to save their people (meaning the humans) and he replies yes I got the sense that he would be willing to sacrifice one of the team if it meant keeping what they had gained and built over the years.I’m not saying he wouldn’t be distraught if something happened to one of his team or that he wouldn’t grieve but he’d consider it a sacrifice that was worth being made for the greater good. He considered the danger he was putting the team in as an acceptable risk. There is also the fact that he lied to Jean and manipulated her mind. Again you could understand why, he was trying to protect her and he had good intentions but they were really misguided you know waht they say ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’ and this is truly shown within Charles’ storyline. Charles’ story in this film is once again one of tragedy and was designed to warn of the consequences of letting your ego and selfishness get in the way. It was about a man who had good intentions but in the end he let his ego lead him down the wrong path and a lot of people suffered for it. He’s not set as the villian of the story but as the cautionary tale, at his core he’s still a good man. It was incredibly sad to see him watching everything around him unravel and know that a lot of it was down to his own choices. Of course as the film goes on he does try to redeem himself by attempting to get through to Jean. I said above that I thought he would be willing to sacrifice one of them but as the film goes on this changes because the more things fall apart the harder he fights for Jean and the rest of his team. Unfortunately he’s never really able to fully turn things around as Jean said in that opening scene he can’t fix everything she breaks and I do think come the films end Charles himself is broken. 

Ok Eric. Here’s another one that is set to a different formula this film. Where in most of the other films he’s pretty much the bad guy from the get go or at least morally grey, in this film when we first see him he’s used his time to move on from his vengence and has built a homeland for mutants. He looks like he’s doing really well for himself. But then it all goes to hell when first Jean then Hank show up. One thing I will say is I liked how Eric was willing to help Jean no questions asked when she first showed up. I mean obviously he did ask questions but he was still willing to help her even if she didn’t answer. Like you could see he wanted to help her and he answered all her own questions despite how troubling they were. Of course he does eventually have to cast her out in order to protect his people. Then Hank shows up and he learns that Jean killed Raven. Another thing I liked were those scenes between Hank and Eric who up until this point had very much been at odds with each other but their love for Raven unites them. It was something new and unexplored and so it felt fresh it was interesting to see that dynamic. Obviously Eric going a bit dark isn’t really that much of a shock considering his previous actions in other films but I do think it was well done here. Again as with all of the characters his motives for it made sense. I do think that the point of Eric’s story in this was to show that even when you escape your inner darkness and better yourself you can always be pulled back into it again by trauma. Eric is also the figure for how trauma can turn someone into a morally flawed person its always been his story how he tries to be a good man but circumstances and tragic occurences in his life always bring out that vengeful spirit in him, that darkness. He’s very much the equivalent of the frankenstein story, are you born a monster or do circumstances make you one. 

Now its time for Hank. I loved what they did with Hank’s character in this movie. I loved that they gave more time to him and I loved that we got to see that darker side. Now I’ve put him last because I do think that out of all of them his was the most drastic change in character so for him this was the darkest he’s ever been. Again it made sense for the character. He was in love with Raven and has been for years and the tragedy of this story is that he lost her when they had finally got there shiz together and were happy. Also he clearly has a lot of guilt and regret over not leaving with Raven when he had the chance. I mean it comes through real strong in that moment when he tells Charles ’Raven was going to leave and I convinced her to stay.’  He is utterly destroyed by Raven’s death and on top of that he’s lost all faith in Charles who is one of his longest companions, some of the blame for her death he puts on Charles. Because it was Charles’ choices that led them to that moment and it was Charles who physically stopped him from taking out Jean with that taser which may have prevented Raven’s death. I think for me one of the saddest storylines in this film was seeing that rift between Hank and Charles. I mean if you think about their history Hank has always stood by Charles. I mean just take a look at DOFP when Charles had no one else he still had Hank. Hank acted as Charles’ carer for years and was with him even in his darkest moments and yet this is what makes Hank get up and walk away from him. Because Charles himself can’t even admit that he was wrong. I mean that scene in the kitchen between them was amazing, both actors were amazing I felt their pain and grief. I felt the tension between them. It was awful to watch these two characters who have been through so much together get torn apart. But again, and I will keep saying this, it was done well. It was done with alot of care and attention and respect and you know alot of thought and heart was put into this film. So anyway Hank decides that Jean needs to be killed and you know Hank is a genius he knows that without Charles he doesn’t have the resources to find Jean by himself. So he goes to Eric for help in finding her. Which makes sense from a strategic standpoint. He and Eric might have their issues but Hank knows that Eric loved Raven too and that he has resources so Hank uses that to get the help he needs. Now the fact that Hank wants Jean dead is naturally kinda dark. I mean this is a woman that he has known since a child and who is very much like family to him. But I also believe that after Jean killed Raven Hank made up his mind that Jean was gone as he says ‘Jean isn’t Jean anymore.’ In his eyes Jean died up in space when she was hit by that solar flare and whatever this thing is that looks like Jean now this thing that killed the woman he loves it isn’t Jean. So he’s not just grieving Raven he’s also grieving Jean too and again I think this comes through when Eric says ‘if I find her I will kill her’ and Hank answers ‘I know’. I mean that scene did make me tear up a little because you can hear the pain in Hank’s voice and you see the tears in his eyes and you just know this is cutting him up inside. He’s not making this decision lightly it is effecting him deeply. Seriously though hats off to Nicholas Hoult because he did some serious to God amazing acting in this film. I mean Beast has always been one of my favourite characters especially since First Class so I am a little biased but I really did think his performance in this film was so emotional and he did a really great job in all of his scenes. I also loved that ultimately he was able to overcome that darkness and in the end did what Raven would have and protected Jean. It was another moment that just gave me chills I mean when the aliens are like give us the girl and he just growls out that ‘no!’ It was so powerful and like I said I got literal chills.  

Whose Got The Power!? 

They all do, oh boy do they. One thing that alot of the other X-Men films got criticism for was not utilizing all of the characters powers very well. There was always one character that got left on the sidelines I am pleased to say however that is not the case in this film. Every one of our characters gets the chance to fully display their powers and you know what its epic. The special effects for each of the powers are fantastic. Also I loved how creative they were with how they used their powers I touched on it a bit in the first part of this review but they do cover all aspects of each of their powers and not just one facet of them. For example with Storm they don’t just show her pulling down lightning bolts. We do see her do that and its electrifying (pun intended) but we also see her use her powers to freeze over the holes in the space shuttle or to quite literally at one point blow her enemy away with the force of the winds she’s controlling. With Hank they show us his super intelligent side of his powers when they are talking about the modifications he’s made on the Jet and him treating Jean but also show his strength and fighting finesse. Scott uses his powers both in a productive way when he stops the shuttle from spinning and in a destructive way when he’s blasting his foes to hell. Kurt uses his to rescue people and to teleport people in front of trains we again see both the defensive and offensive sides of his powers. The same with Quicksilver we have one scene of him rescuing another of him attacking. Mystique we see her shapeshifting but we also explore more of her leadership skills too. Charles uses his power to both communicate and to control. Eric uses his in close quarter hand to hand combat but to also crush things around people or to pull subway carts up and use them as a shield and battering ram. Jean uses her powers for literally everything, it seems like there’s nothing she can’t do and we get to see it all. So yeah I definaitely got excited and went full fangirl whenever I saw them use their powers and it is alot. 

The Train Fight. 

Ok yes I am going to say it, I am going to put this statement out there for everyone to see. This was the greatest fight sequence in any superhero film ever. And I mean ever. And yes I am including those huge epic battle scenes from Infinity War and End Game. Which don’t get me wrong were epic but this scene for me was even greater than those and here’s what I think gives it the edge. There are less characters involved. Now you might think that would lessen it but I actually think its an advantage for this film. Because there are less characters involved it gives it a much more intimate feel than those other battle scenes. Because there are less characters you can focus on each of them more and follow them through the battle more closely. There is less confusion of what is happening because you can focus more on those characters and what each of them are doing. Yet it still manages to be as dramatic and exciting and just downright cool and epic as those other scenes. I mean I just I don’t think I even have the words to describe just how epic that scene was. But I will try. 

So I am going to start at the very beginning of the scene where they are all on the train chained up. The thing that is poignant about this scene is at this point all the characters are still at odds with each other. You can feel the tension between all of these characters and the discord. We also get a quite sweet and really emotional scene between Charles and Hank where Charles finally tells Hank what he wants to hear. He was wrong and he’s sorry. This becomes a turning point because it has a huge part to play in what happens next. So right after we hear banging noises and over the radio the security following the train inform the guards in the train that they have multiple hostiles on the roof. Then Eric says she’s coming for us. In the trailer this is actually really misleading because there you think they are talking about Jean but actaully in the film Jean is on the train with them and the ‘she’ coming for them is Jessica Chastain’s character Vuk who wants the Phoenix Force herself and her people who are an alien race who can shapeshift and seem to be nye on near indestructable. I mean these guys are really hard to kill trust me which really helps in building the tension. But anyway they say to the guards let us go because we can help but they refuse until most of them are killed and one guard smartly decides to let them go. There comes another of my favourite moments which again is a small but very powerful one. Once they have been released, the door is blown off and in walk our alien adversaries. Our X-Men all stand up and form together and do what I like to call the superhero stance, you all know the one I mean. The one that tells you they mean business and the bad guy better watch out. Again this is another moment where I just got chills. I said earlier that Hank and Charles’ conversation was important because of what it meant for later scenes and this is the one I meant because it makes Hank change his mind and he refuses to stand aside and let them at Jean, when Eric asks him what he’s doing he replies what ‘Raven would have’. This also causes Eric to have a change of heart and so you get this moment where the people who were at each others throats about 10 mins before are now choosing to band together and fight for each other and it is a truly intimate and beautiful moment. And then all hell break loose and the epicness begins. 

A highlight of this fight and something they do really really well and something that makes it really fun and interesting to watch, is that it is on different levels of the train. You have them fighting in the train carts, you have them fighting on the roof of the train, hell you even have them fighting on the damn tracks and on the bridges along the train tracks. They’re in the train, they’re on the train, they are the train. But in all seriousness it is so well choregraphed and has a great progression. 

Some highlights of the scene were Eric firstly crushing the train cart around the aliens and then just with a casual flick of the wrist tossing it away like it was no biggy at all. Two when Vuk shows up and Eric brings out the big guns literally. He uses his powers to point an arsenal of assault rifles at her then just blasts the crap out of her. She just stands there calmly taking it all and then heals right up in a very sinister and creepy way. But the shot of Eric there with all the rifles assembling around him is again just an epic moment and very very Eric if you know what I mean. Micheal Fassbender is so good at playing Magneto always so sauve and smooth. 

Kurt fighting that female alien and then leaving her on the train tracks. We really got to see his powers in this scene and in some ways it was remencient of Azazel in First Class in how he uses the powers. He grabs a person and then teleports them somewhere else before they get he chance to get their bearings and its that very fast get a shot in then teleport and get another shot in kinda style. Though naturally Kurt isn’t anything like his father character wise, he is far too much of a sweet little cinnamon roll I do think a little of his darkness came through here. 

Jean waking up and saying ‘I know what I have to do, protect my family’ then rising up out of the train and shielding her friends before lifting the train from the tracks and smashing it back into the earth with the aliens inside. The special effects for that scene were amazing and it was just a really cool scene to watch. 

It’s An Alien Invasion

So the true bad guys of this film are the aliens who come after the Phoenix Force. The race isn’t actually given a name in the film but from what I understand they are a race called the Skrulls which are shapeshifting aliens who seem to be ridiculously strong and impervious to harm. Their home planet was destroyed along with the majority of their people by the same cosmic force that now inhabits Jean and they have spent years tracking it across the universe hoping to capture and harness its power so that they can remake their home world. When you take just this part of their story you actually feel quite sorry for them. I mean at least I did like these poor aliens watched their home and all the people they love get destroyed just out of the blue one day and they are the last few survivors and they just want to start over anew. It must have been so traumatic for these poor guys. Of course any sympathy I had for them was soon thrown out the window when I realised that their way of getting their world back was by using the Phoenix Force to remodel Earth into their home planet which means wiping out all humanity. Then I was all like these peeps need to die. 

I will say that I think a little more time needed to be spent on this group of people. I get that they were going for the mysterious vibe with them but I think they might have been a little too mysterious. I mean I think they did enough with the main one Vuk. I also understood the backstory and why they were doing what they were doing but there were I think about 7 other aliens or so (I don’t remember the exact number) but we don’t get to know any of the others really. We only have time with Vuk so I do think they would have benefitted from building up some of those other background aliens. 

That being said there were some good things about the villians. There arrival was a good scene. It was very creepy and again very like those Alien invasion films. That shot of them creeping out of the trees through the darkness was very very spooky and chilling. Also the scenes where Vuk is killing and torturing people by putting her hand on their chests was also very disturbing. I mean overall as villians they did come across as frightening and creepy and yes mysterious but I do also think they could have been built up a bit more. As I said above in the review this is one thing they fell short on and I do think it could have been combated with making the film longer. 

The Dark Phoenix

Sophie Turner let me fall to my knees and bow before you, you absolute Queen. Sophie did so good, so so good with this film. Sophie played this role masterfully. It had so many waves through out the character development and she sold every one of them and made it so believeable. From that elation she displays when she first gets back and she wants to party and drink and you can see she’s on top of the world, to her pushing Charles out of her head and causing him injury, to her joy and childishness when she sees her father again to the rage when she goes up against her friends. I brought every damn thing she was selling me. I also liked how the Phoenix powers slowly emerge within Jean. At first we get subtle signs of it like when she is floating out in space right after being consumed by the energy and those little cracks appear on her skin with the firey glow under them. Or when she does open her eyes and for a brief moment they also have a fiery colour. Then it continues to grow bit by bit until eventually by the end of the film she’s full on glowing and vapourising sh*t like a BAMF. But I liked that it wasn’t just a case of she gets hit by it and all of a sudden she’s super powerful and turning stuff to dust right away they reveal it to us slower, showing us a litlle bit then a bit more which again adds to the tension and anticipation and makes you want to see more to want to know just how much more there is, how powerful is this power and what is Jean going to do with it? 

So lets walk through Jean’s transformation into the Dark Phoenix and talk about her journey throughout the movie. So I already covered her flashback scene above so we don’t really need to go into that so I think we should start with is right after she gets linked with the Phoenix Force. Once they’ve returned home Jean is sent for a medical exam with Hank to make sure she’s ok. Hank sees that everything is ok but there’s an anomaly in her powers. She’s grown so powerful that the machine isn’t even picking it up anymore, she’s literally off the charts powerful. Hank tries not to let it trouble him too much and just makes a quip about how he needs to build a better machine and sends her on her way. I just said above that Sophie did a fantastic job at showing the fluctuations and changes within her character’s moods throughout the film. Well in these beginning scenes Jean is very much feeling elated and powerful. There’s one part of the film where Charles says that Jean is ‘all desire and rage’ and at this point we see more of the desire part of it. She has that heated moment with Scott where they kiss which actually reminded me abit of when Jean kisses Logan in Last Stand. Then they go to the party and she wants to drink and dance and you get this general feeling of desire from her she wants to have a good time. It’s almost like she’s high on the feeling you know that feeling of being on top of the world that you get. Again another side note here but just wanted to say I loved that cameo of Dazzler and her powers looked real cool. But anyway back to Jean, so then things around her start to blur and she can feel that power building up in her and the voices start and its that same feeling she got in the car with her parents and it frightens her. She clutches her head and tells the voices to be quiet but then the power explodes from her knocking the people around her to the ground and blowing over trees and she’s then unconcious at the center of this charred circle. This then leads to Charles looking into her head while she’s asleep and having to confess to Hank and Raven what he did and informs us that the walls he put up or the scaffolding as he called it is starting to come down. Jean walks up and is none to happy to find Charles in her head and pushes him out after a bit of a battle for control that leaves Charles needing medical care and Jean to leave because we learn that she heard her father’s voice and she realises that her father is still alive and did not die in the car accident like she believed. Although we saw a little of that rage during her argument within her head with Charles she is still very much at this stage driven by desire. This time its her desire to see her Father again. Which as an audience and as Charles knows this is a very bad idea considering the unstable mood she’s in. Upon meeting her father what she learns is that her Father gave her away, when she looks at the photos and sees loads of her mother but none of her she realises that her Father knew where she was but did not come looking for her, her rage builds and during the heat of their fight her Father tells her to come all the way in and to not forget what she did. Upon reading her father’s mind she learns that she killed her mother. This was another thing that Charles had manipulated her mind into forgetting in an effort to protect her. Unfortunately that now means all of that pain and horror of realising what she did to her mother comes out at this moment when she’s unstable. So when the X-men show up they find her emotionally distraught. This is when all the rage comes and with it the desire to hurt those she feels have wronged her and unfortunately that person she feels is Charles who lied to her and kept the truth from her. Her rage is directed at him and anyone who stands with him. So when the police cars show up she sees them as a threat and destroys them which leads to Storm throwing the lightening bolt at her and then things just escalate. At one point she even throws Scott across the lawn which really shows how out of control she’s becoming and how the power is warping her mind. One thing I do want to touch on quickly is that I don’t actually think this cosmic force she comes in contact with is necessarily evil on its own. When I first saw the trailer I thought it was a case of shes overtaken by this evil energy and that turns her evil but having seen the film I actually don’t think that’s the case at all. I don’t see the energy as being evil or good its just powerful. It’s like Charles says when he gives child Jean the pen it’s what you choose to do with it. I also don’t get the impression that the power has a mind or feelings of its own. I don’t think it was there or that it destroys things because it has some kind of cognitive ability and it gets enjoyment from destruction and has some sinsiter ulterior evil motive. I actually think its more like a product of nature like a tsunami or hurricane or volcanoe. It’s powerful, it’s destructive but it’s not got a mind of its own that overtakes Jean’s. No what I think happens is that Jean absorbs this energy and it’s so powerful that it causes her mind to become unstable and for her to go a little crazy. Her mind breaks under the pressure of the power, basically its just too much to handle.  

Things do calm down for a moment though when Raven approaches Jean and tries to talk her down. For a moment it looks like its working. Jean is clearly still struggling but she’s not throwing things and people about or destroying the buildings around her anymore. But unfortunately for Raven the voices in her head are back and Jean can once again feel the power rising and taking over and it blasts from her implaing Raven on some shards of wood in the process. In this moment all of that rage disappears and instead she’s left with the horror of what she’s done and the knowledge that not only did she kill her mother she’s now killed someone else who she had a maternal like bond with. So unable to face it she just runs. She goes to Eric looking not only for a safe place to lay low at because now she’s being hunted for attacking the town and the cops but because she’s looking for advice. She knows that Eric is very powerful and that he too has used that power to hurt people and she also knows that he turned things around and stopped. She goes to him because she too wants to know how to stop because she’s not evil she’s been corrupted by this power. That’s what her story is about how power corrupts and how those with it need to be more careful with it and choose how to use that power. It’s a metaphor my friends. As she says to him that power feels good and of course it does. She must feel like a god. Like she can do anything she likes she could raise civilisations out of the ground or turn the whole world to dust. She can destroy any threats with a wave of her hand she is unstoppable, she can do anything her heart desires and that is filling her with a feeling of euphoria and elation. And because it feels good she craves it more. So when those army guys show up in their helicopters two things happen. One she feels threatened because she knows they are there to take her away and that fills her with that rage again. Two she craves to use her power again to show these men who are threatening her that she’s the one in control, she’s the one with the power. Which leads to that amazing scene of both Jean and Magneto vying for control over the helicopter. Once the helicopter makes it away Jean attacks Eric and just flicks him away. Again this is coming from anger her mind is warped and she believes he should be on her side because she was just trying to stop the bad men and doesn’t understand that there are consequences to her doing that for Eric and Genosha. That land was granted to them by the government and if they go around attacking the men who were sent there by the government then they will take it away from them again. All of this leads to him casting her out which again she’s angry about because he’s suppose to protect mutants, protect her. 

This is when she is found by Vuk who wants to manipulate her into using the power for Vuk’s own needs. By this point Vuk has learned enough about Jean to know what things to say to manipulate her. She plays on the anger Jean has for Charles and also puts the notion in her head that all of the X-Men want her dead because they don’t understand her and what they don’t understand they seek to destroy. So when the X-Men show up she has this deep sense of mistrust for them. On top of that she has fully given into the power and embraced it let it overcome her. She’s also had this woman standing there telling her that she’s the most powerful being in the universe and that she needs not answer to anyone they all should answer to her. So when she comes in contact with Eric again she lets her anger at him out telling him that first he cast her out and now he seeks to kill her and she destroy his helmet and throws him from the building like he’s nothing. And in this moment you can see her rage. Next comes Charles and we get that very disturbing scene where she forces him to walk to her. It comes right after he tries to win her back by reminding her what he said years ago when she first trying to learn to control her powers that she feared. You can do anything you set your mind to. Her reply is ‘then show me, walk to me.’ I get what she’s saying here, she knows that Charles can’t get up and walk to her and that’s her point because despite him saying that, there are some things that are beyond your control and that you can’t do no matter how hard you put your mind to it. In her warped and corrupted mind its another lie he’s telling her, she sees it as him trying to manipulate her again and once again while being egged on by her new alien agony aunt, her rage over takes her. In an effort to mock him and prove that actually she has ultimate power now and she can unlike him do anything she sets her mind to she uses her powers to force him to stand from the chair and walk up the stairs to her. It’s a scene that is thoroughly disturbing and uncomfortable and upsetting. And it’s suppose to be, you’re definitely suppose to be feeling all those things during the scene and I think it is suppose to show you just how twisted the power is making Jean. That being said I do feel like this scene could be quite triggering for some viewers so if you are reading this review having not seen the film yet and you do think that is something that would trigger you but you still want to see the film then this would be your moment to go to the bathroom, just when you get to the bit where Jean and Vuk are on the balcony above Charles in his chair and he starts talking about doing anything you set your mind to get up and go then, by the time your finished with your toilet break it’ll be over as it’s thankfully a short scene. So with that trigger warning over lets continue. Eventually Charles does get through to Jean when she reads his mind and gets reminded of the fact that even though her father said she was a lost cause Charles still believed she wasn’t and she remembers all of the good things he’s done for her over the years. Essentially she’s reminded of the relationship she has with him. It’s another really poignant beautiful moment and Sophie does a brilliant job of portraying all the emotions Jean is feeling in that moment. Also it just looks really beautiful she’s got all the flame like glowing energy around her and the cracks in her skin and her eyes that are glowing have tears gathering in them. So anyway she asks Vuk to take the power and free her still believing that Vuk just wants it to rebuild her own world. Charles then realises that Vuk wants to destroy this world and that if she keeps absorbing the power from Jean it will kill Jean but Jean either can’t let go or doesn’t want to.  In comes Scott to save the day who blasts Vuk back into the stars she lands back on earth with a thud on top of a roof unconsious. Jean collapses to the ground and then they all get captured by the military for being bad little mutants who have between them made a right mess on the street outside. Of course these guards are unaware of the alien force that has come to destroy the world but its ok they’ll learn about that one the hard way in a few scenes time. So this is the turning point for Jean in the movie. So far we’ve seen her elated and overcome with the desire to just enjoy herself, to becoming enraged at being lied to by both her father figures, to feeling overcome with guilt and self loathing after killing Raven to that rage returning with an added shot of paranoia that everyone including her family are out to destroy her to realising that actually her family are there for her not against her and this power is the thing thats destroying her to making the decision to let that power go. 

So for most of our little train journey Jean is unconcious however when she does wake up its to the knowledge that the family she has know come the trust again is in danger from the alien species who are trying to get to her and who she now knows were truly the ones who were manipulating her. And so she simply says ‘I know what I have to do now...protect my family.’ Then rises up out of the train like the phoenix she is she puts shields around her loved ones then proceeds to lift the train off the tracks and then slam it back into the earth with all the aliens inside. When she lands next to it the skrulls all charge at her. And so begins another of my favourite scenes. While we have already seen some great things from Jean’s powers so far in the film this is the moment where she really does just let it all go and unleash the power. She does what Charles told her to do all those years ago she takes this power/gift and she chooses what she’s going to do with it which is protect her family. It’s a very empowering moment for the character. Also let me just say um Thanos who? Because damn the Phoenix knows how to vapourise things. I thought that moment in Infinity War where Thanos snaps his fingers and they all turn to dust was terrifying but this was even more so. At least with Thanos it looked like they went quite peacefully not so much here in fact it looked angonising for them.  But yeah in a terrifying display of power Jean just turns all of them to dust and then Vuk shows up and grabs her by the throat trying to absorb the power again. However Vuk realises real quick that she’s not going to be able to handle the power and tries to break away but Jean tellls her that if she wants the power she’s going to have it and forces her to hold back on again. Then Scott gets too close causing the skin to start flaking off his hand which Jean repairs but Vuk points out that if Jean destroys her then she’ll destroy them too. So Jean lifts them both back into space and unleashes the power destroying them both. Supposedly she has sacrificed herself to save her family. Also that moment when she explodes and it takes the form of the Phoenix is the best shot of the film. It is so beautiful and magnificant just amazing. Again another side note but if any of you watched the xmen spin off show The Gifted did that moment when she tells Vuk if you want the power remind anyone else of when Reed tells Reeva that if she wants the power of the Von Struckers she’s got it then blows up in her face destroying her? I most certainly got the same vibe from them both. But anyway to wrap up this section. I really liked how they tackled this storyline in this film. I loved the fact that Jean was the central part of the story this time. The focus was on her and her story. Yes there were other storylines obviously but they all played into hers with hers being the center of them all. Charles’ story was centered around Jean’s, Scott’s was, Storm’s, Kurt’s, Eric’s and Hank’s even the alien subplot were all causes of Jean or her actions. This is how it should be with Jean at the center and others being effected by her. I mean most of the time even when she wasn’t in a scene she was being talked about so it was still essentially about Jean. It was one of the things that I was most disappointed by in the Last Stand that Jean was just a side story to the main storyline about the cure. But not the case here they did it right here and put her front and center. Also as I said Sophie did a great job at portraying all the different shifts within the character and it was another thing I loved that the character was so nuanced and tumultous. I just think they told the story really well it was a story that I was invested in. It was tragic and emotional and entertaining. 

And So It All Ends. 

So the first thing I will say is that I did think the ending was a bit sudden. It was almost like they got to the part were Jean sacrifices herself and then realised that the film wasn’t going to be 2 and half hours long and they’d best wrap it up quick. However I’m not mad about the ending. So the end is basically them showing us where all the remaining characters are with a voice over from Jean. We get that shot of Scott putting up the Jean Grey School sign. Then we flick to Hank walking through the halls of the school. We see Quicksilver and Kurt in the hall and then Storm is teaching a lesson so we know the rest of the X-Men all end up at the school together. Hank then goes into an office and sits at the desk where there’s a photo of Raven. Two things I want to interject here is one this did give my little beastique heart some soothing balm even if it was a little sad but aww Hank’s little smile when he looked at the picture. Two I loved that in the picture she was in her true blue form because one thing Raven did struggle with in her relationship with Hank in the previous films was that worry thst maybe he didn’t love the real her and was more in love with her blonde haired normal looking self. So yeah I loved that Hank was remembering her in her true form. But anyway we learn that Hank is now Headmaster which I did think you know good for him I felt like that is a role he’ll be good at and I do feel like he deserves it. It did however beg the question of where the hell was Charles. Turns out he’s in Paris and you Cherik shippers know who else is in Paris don’t you? Now me personally I don’t ship Cherik romantically as such I mean I’m not like a hard core Cherik shipper like I am a Beastique shipper. However I will admit there were moments throughout the films where if they had gone in that direction I wouldn’t have been surpirsed. I have always loved Charles’ and Eric’s relationship and so I could not have chosen a better ending for them. There was something so right about that scene.  I teared up when Eric said that all those years ago Charles saved his life and offered him a home and now he wanted to do the same for Charles. I loved the call back to First Class, I loved that Eric gave Charles that aknowledgement of what he did for Eric and I loved that their last scene together was them playing a game of one of their iconic chess matches. So yeah very happy with how they brought those character arcs to a close I thought it was very fitting. Of course the very final shot of the film is where it pans up into the sky and then shows a phoenix flying across it briefly indicating that Jean isn’t actually truly gone.

There were a couple of things that the ending leaves unclear however. Firstly did Charles get forced out of the school by the rest of the X-Men in retailiation of what he did with Jean or was it more that he was so broken by Raven and then Jean’s deaths that he just couldn’t bring himself to return there. Did he feel like he failed Jean and Raven and so to prevent himself of letting down another student he’s just removed himself from the scene. Who knows. 

Did he know that they were changing the name of the school, was he the one that suggested it, how does he feel about it? 

What is the human’s attitude like towards mutants has it been completely destroyed  by Jean’s actions or did they hear about the alien invasion that they were all saved from and are now happy about the X-Men again? Was the anti-mutant attitude the reason why Charles left was it a case of it wasn’t safe for him to be there because there was a lot of public animosity towards him? So yeah those are the questions I was left with at the end there.  

Critical Critics

Ok so we are nearly finished with this review I promise there is just one last thing I want to touch on first. Also fair warning I might be getting a little snarky here. So you can imagine my surprise when I left the cinema having rather enjoyed the movie to find that the critcs had reviewed this film badly. I was actually to be honest kind of disgusted with the critics on this one. I mean I‘ve never put much stock in what the critics say anyway and I’ve never let it influence whether I see a film but checking the reviews after I‘ve seen a film has become something of a ritual for me and something I enjoy. However this time it just made me angry because even if you didn’t think this film was the best, even thoguh it had some small problems it did not deserve the amount of bashing and hate it was getting. I mean a 22% on RT is just ridiculous. But anyway what I did was I went through some of the reviews and picked out some of the most commonly occuring criticism that the critics gave the film and I’ll give you my opinion on them and why I thought they were wrong or why I agreed with them if I did. 

1) It’s a repeat of the Last Stand. Ok when I read this one my reaction was genuinely and exuse my language here but b*tch where? I was honestly confused by the accusation because there was only one similarity between the two storylines that I could find. That’s how Charles put blocks in Jean’s mind that are then broken down by the power causing Jean to become angry and mistrustful of Charles. But even the way it happens in the two films is different. In TLS it was a central point of her storyline and Charles did it because Jean had developed another personality (basically she had a multiple personality disorder) and he was trying to keep it in check. Here he puts up blocks to make her forget about her past trauma. In TLS the blocks coming down are essentially what unleashes the Phoenix and causes Jean to go dark. In DP the blocks coming down only serve to cause a rift between Jean and Charles and explain her anger at him. It’s not made a central storyline at all. There are also so many differences. The whole storylines are different hell the characters themselves are very different. Jean going dark in TLS as I said was a result of her split personality there is no outside force its all from within her. In this film it is still a story about Jean’s mental health but it is influenced by an outside force and while TLS is a story about mental health essentially this version while covering that is more about how power corrupts. In TLS Jean is a side storyline in this one shes the focus of it. I could go on and on about the differences but this post is already approaching the length of a novel so. Maybe I’ll do a separate post comparing the two at some point. So yeah sorry but this statement of it’s a repeat of TLS is just plain wrong it isn’t anything like TLS. 

2) It’s unemotional and boring. I mean I can’t really say anything about the boring part. I personally didn’t think it was at all boring but if they found it boring then I’m sorry to hear that I don’t know what they find intersting so I can’t really say they are wrong on that as finding something boring is very much down to personal preference what one person finds interesting can send another to sleep. However in regards to the unemotional part which I saw come up a surprising amount it’s another thing that I don’t understand how they can say that. This film left me emotionally wrecked. I mean it makes you feel so many different emotions, sad, tense, anxious, awe, heartbroken, fear, anticipation, happy, nostalgic, so many emotions. Also the emotions of the characters are very much what drives this film. Every one of the characters actions are driven by their emotions. It’s their grief that drives Eric and Hank, Jean’s rage that drives her, Scott’s desperation, Charles’ fear of losing everything they’ve worked for. So this is another comment from the critcs that I just disagree with, I’d even go so far as to argue that this was the most emotional Xmen film they’ve ever done. 

3) This isn’t like the other X-Men films. This one actually made me sigh in resignation and at one point even wet myself laughing. That second part came where I read one review that complained it was more like a drama than an Xmen film and the reason why that made me laugh was because it made me think of an interview of Tye Sheridan’s way back in 2018 where he said that with this film they were aiming to make it more like a drama than a superhero film. So yes mr critc man it was more like a drama but you know what it was suppose to be. This argument for why the film sucked just didn’t make any sense considering one of the main points they were trying to get across in their entire marketing campaign for this movie was this isn’t like any other X-Men film you’ve ever seen. So yes well done critics you just criticised a film for achieving exactly what they set out to achieve. Sorry like I said might get a little snarky but this one really frustrated me with its own stupidity. I mean the fact that this wasn��t like other Xmen films is what made it good it’s one of the things I liked the most about it because it meant it wasn’t stale it was something new and something fresh. It was suppose to be a darker film, a gritty drama and that’s what we were told we were gonna be given and that’s what we got. So this is just the critics looking for reasons to hate the film.

4) There isn’t enough humour. Ok see the above two. This was an emotionally driven dark drama! It wasn’t suppose to be funny. I get that these critics are used to the gimicky slapstick comedy that most superhero (especially the marvel films) have. But as we’ve already covered they were aiming to do something different with this film. They were serious subjects they were covering in this film and I’m sorry but throwing jokes and running gags in there would have ruined the movie. It would not have been at all in fitting with the tone of the film. Also you can bet your ass that if they had thrown jokes into it then all the critics would be complaining about how out of place they were considering the tone of the film and they would have been right in that instance because it would not have worked. Also there was humour in this film it just wasn’t placed evenly throughout the film because as I said the bulk of the film was very serious, very dark and very gritty and levity would have been out of place. But the beginning part and end both had quite a bit of humour. Quicksilver’s ‘we’re doing space missions now cool.’ Nightcrawler’s excited childlike ‘We’re going to space?’ ‘Yes Kurt we’re going to space.’ Again was funny. And again from Kurt when they were heading into space and he screams ‘I’m not enjoying this as much as I should.’ It was funny. Quicksilver’s ‘I did most of it, Jean helped at the end but it was mostly me.’ Fuunnny. Hank’s ‘it means I need to build a better machine.’ Yup funny. When Storm asks how Jean is and Scott replies thirsty while collecting her third drink also funny. Speaking of Jean ‘Do I intimidate you baby?’ and Scott’s ‘Always’ reply yup you guessed it also funny. Again at the end of the film when Quicksilver tells the kid to ‘slow down, safety first.’ This ladies and gentleman is what you call humour and yes it was in the film and yes they put it in appropriate places and in the right amount without it ruining the tone of the film. Which is something that these supposedly professional critics should have recognised. Just because a film isn’t very funny doesn’t not mean it’s a bad film. 

5) The special effects were bad. Um no that’s a lie. Plain and simple.

6) The alien villians had no back story and Jessica Chastain’s performance was wooden. Ok going to shock you all a little here but parts of this I do agree with. Or at least I can see where they are coming from. Because yes the Skrulls needed more development. However I thought Jess’ performance was far from wooden in fact she did a very good job with what she was given. Also they did have a backstory. It just wasn’t an overly complex one. Their home planet was destroyed and so they want to use the Phoenix force to remake earth into their home planet. So again it might be poorly developed but saying they have no back story at all is another lie.     

7) This film sucked ‘insert a marvel film here’ was better. Now this is just unforgivable to me and in my opinion downright rude it really made my blood boil, but I came across several of the critics reviews that literally just had a couple of lines saying that the film sucked and then spent the rest of their review talking about how great a particular marvel film was before finishing up with a that’s why I can’t wait for the Xmen to finally come under the marvel umbrella where they belong. Umm ok first off they’re not under the Marvel umbrella yet so that comment is completely irrelevant, secondly I don’t give a crap about how great you thought Captain Marvel was I came here to read a review about Dark Phoenix. These are the worst of all the reviews because they don’t even bother to give you reasons why they thought Dark Phoenix was bad they just state that it was and then move on to talking about Marvel. In fact some of them are so vague about Dark Phoenix that it makes me wonder if they even actually watched the film. I also hate that they seem to think that Marvel can’t make any mistakes and every one of their films are incredible like I’m glad you liked Captain Marvel mate but if you take a look at the audience rating for that film you’ll find it’s lower than the one for Dark Phoenix.  

8) The storyline was badly written, rushed and the film was too short. Again I do agree with some of this. I personally didn’t think the film was badly written, It was a simple storyline and not overly complex but I think that’s what it needed if you had tried to make it too complex of a story it would have lost some of the emotional punch from it. You’d have been too busy trying to figure out what was going on in the story to appreciate the characters emotions and realtionships. However I do think the film could be longer and the shorter length did mean that it was somewhat rushed. However that being said while I agree with them I didn’t think it was as big of an issue as the critics were making it out to be. 

9) The feminist agenda was too strong. Hmm this one is... I mean if having a female lead is considered a feminist agenda then sure Jean Grey did come across as strong. But lets be honest this comment is just plain stupid. I mean the only part where I can see this comment being even a little relevant or right is Mystique’s line about it should be X-Women. Which actually got a lot of laughs from the audience at my viewing from both males and females so I don’t think it was that much of a big deal but I will admit it did come across as a little out of place and as if it was there to appeal to feminists but it was one line and was no more in your face than that scene from Endgame when you have the all girl team up in the final battle that leaves you wondering how the hell they all conveniently got in the same place at once I mean don’t get me wrong I loved that scene but you can’t deny that it was there to serve as a feminist agenda. See I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with having one line or one scene that promotes women’s power in fact in some instances I think its needed. So yeah this was another one that was baffling to me because I just didn’t see this film as being some grand feminist message, it was a film with a woman at its center and as the lead role but what the hell’s wrong with that. 

10) There were too many continuity errors. Let’s be honest X-Men is not known for having a good continuity. I mean it’s no wonder why just take a look at the comic books themselves I mean if the source material is a mess then I suppose its not that strange that the films would be. After all spotting continuity errors in X-Men films is all part of the fun. However this is again something that I disagree with mainly because the two things mentioned are 1) Jean already had the Phoenix powers at the end of Apocalypse so how is it she’s only getting them now when in space in this film. Well yes she did have them in Apocalypse and the reason for it is in the films the power that she comes in contact with is not the Phoenix. It is never at any point in the film referred to as the Phoenix. It is only referred to as ‘a cosmic force.’ or ‘This thing’ or as a ‘solar flare.’ The reason why is because in the films Jean is the Phoenix. We the fans often call it the phoenix force and I think that comes from the comic book I don’t know for sure as I haven’t read it but as I said the film doesn’t.  Also the power doesn’t change her powers really it just makes her stronger and amplifies them. She could do all the stuff she was doing before just on a smaller scale. Yes there are a few newer elements to her powers I don’t think she could turn people to dust in Apocalypse when she destroys him in that film it looks more like she’s melting him away with extreme heat than just causing someone to turn to dust like she does here. Also if you look at the effects for the two Phoenix’s they are very different. In Apocalypse they are more like flames where as here they have more of a space substance look about them, its much darker in colour and doesn’t look like literal flames. So yeah that’s not really a continuity error. The other thing is that the ending doesn’t match the ending for DOFP where Logan wakes back up in the new future. Well Logan wakes up in the year 2023 we’re only in 1992 at this point so there’s plenty of time for that future to come about so again not really a continuity error.  

11) There were too many reshoots and problems in production for this film to be considered good. Yeah this was actually something I read more than a few times. And again its just stupid. It’s also very telling.  But again if they had said ‘this part’ was bad most likely due to reshoots or the story seemed off because of the reshoots and them changing the story I wouldn’t be mad about these comments and yes some of them do say that they felt the reshoots caused a problem with the flow of the story. Fair enough you have given me a valid reason there. But most of them don’t do that they literally just say this film has reshoots and other production problems so its bad. I’m sorry but thats not a reason. Tell me how the reshoots effected the film to make it bad don’t just state that it had reshoots so that’s a criminal offence and means I can drag the film through the mud without any solid reason behind my dragging. 

Ok so what was it? Why did this film get so much hate and bashed on so badly by the critics if it wasn’t as bad as they say I mean what’s their motive for that? Well I have two answers for you here. Obviously these are just my own opinons on it. But I think the clue lies above in the last most commonly brought up comment in the critics reviews. Firstly I think alot of it is saving face. What you have to bear in mind is that these are the same people who spent the last two years of the film’s production reporting on those reshoots and the problems in production and every time they reported on reshoots or test screenings that haven’t gone very well they would also pass judgement on the film that they themselves hadn’t even seen yet. They would tell us that this film was going to suck. They’d tell us not to get our expectactions up. They’d tell us it was just going to be another remake of Last Stand. Then the film came out and it wasn’t anywhere near as bad as everyone thought it was going to be. Apparently those test screenings and reshoots payed off some. Only now these critics have a bit of a problem because if they now report that the film was actually decent they all look like dicks for judgeing the film too soon and without seeing it. So what do they do? Well they just tell everyone that the film was bad. Hopefully with a bit of luck people will read the critc reviews and decide to not see it for themsleves and then well no one will ever know right. I also think that’s why a few of them brought up the reshoots so they can basically go look see we told you about those reshoots we were right you know you can trust us. Well actually you can’t because this was a dick move  and I really do belive it is just them trying to save some face as its the only explaination for why the critic reviews are so vastly different from the audience reviews. I mean when I was reading the audience reviews even those who said that they hated the movie admitted that they still thought the critic’s were way too harsh on the film. 

There is another more controversial reason why they might be giving it bad reviews and that is simply Disney propaganda. It’s them saying look at what a terrible job Fox did with this film we’re going to do a much better job come watch our versions of the Xmen when we do them. I mean you just have to look at the press and reviews for Captain Marvel and then for Dark Phoenix. Now I’m not going to express an opinion on what I personally thought of Captain Marvel as this is a review for Dark Phoenix but what I will say is that there is a very obvious bias here. The Captain Marvel audience reaction was worse than that for Dark Phoenix yet the critics were praising it and every news story was going on about how wonderful it was and anyone who didn’t like it was suddenly a troll. However with Dark Phoenix the critcs are slamming it into the ground and the news stories covering it aren’t much better. What’s the difference between the two films. Well one is owned by Disney and the other is by Fox and I’m sorry but I don’t think that’s a coincidence.    

Ok so here’s the very last thing I will say. I really enjoyed this film again I don’t by any means think this was the greatest Xmen film but I would still put it at the higher end of the spectrum. Also I mentioned my sister a couple times in this review who came and saw the film with me. Now she is more of  a casual fan. She has seen a few of the other movies but she doesn’t really watch them more than once and she’s definitely not as obsessed as I am. But I asked her opinion on it as I was curious as to how an outsider would view the film. She said that she loved the film. She also said that in her opinion it was miles better than End Game and the nice thing about it was that if you haven’t seen the other films you can still enjoy this one as a standalone movie. So it seems like this film is more accessible to a wider audience but it also works really well as part of the series too. Well there you have it my review for Dark Phoenix is complete. To anyone who is still here and actually read this to the end a big thank you and a pat on the back. I think I covered everything but if there was something I missed and you want to know my opinion on it feel free to ask. I hope others did enjoy the film and if anyone has read this without seeing the film I would really recommend it and would implore you not to listen to the critics because they have judged this film too harshly. As I say in all of my reviews these are just my own opinons It’s totally cool if you don’t agree I respect everyones views and believe everyone is entitled to express their own feelings. I am also aware that people will interpret things differently and take different things away from it so if you do have  a different opinon again feel free to let me know what it is and why you feel that way I’d love to hear it. Anyway until next time guys.      

[gammija]

The Hollow review/summary/rant/explanation of why i hate the ending I wasn’t sure whether I should post this, but I did enjoy reading others experiences watching this show, so here’s mine under the cut. Edited from a convo with a friend.

(Obviously, spoilers!)

Me: Okay so to properly express my disappointment i gotta take you through the major beats

The show starts with three teens waking up in an almost empty room, finding out they all have amnesia. They quickly solve a puzzle to escape the room, and just as quickly Adam and Mira realize they have superpowers (superstrength/agility and some weird 'speak to animals/know all languages' hybrid, respectively. also she can breathe underwater and swim really fast. its kind of vague)

Kai is already clearly a comic relief, discount Ron (from HP, the movies, no idea about the books) so me and sister correctly predict he'll get jealous of adam and miras relationship (even if there is none), gets pissy and jealous that he has no powers, but then finds out he has powers anyway he does, hes a fire bender. cant say im not bitter about that cause id put my money on invulnerability but eh its alright he has red hair after all hes still fun

Friend: Of course he is

I just feel bad is all aldjs

Me: adam gets a throwaway line of 'maybe were dead' and kai never lets it go

this food might be poisoned but im starving and hey were dead anyway! right, adam

Friend: I love him??

Me: i loved him as soon as he spoke his first dumb words also he puns but basically hes the only interesting char; adam and mira are just cookie cutter 'male lead 1' and 'female lead 1' i mean, he’s cookie cutter ‘jealous 3rd wheel’ but that has more going on than the first two still servicable though

anyway so the jokes are sometimes fun, and superpowers are always my jam. but the REAL reason to keep watching is just, whats going on? ARE they dead? or in some kind of weird gvnmt experiment? some weird magical vampire guide (dont ask) hints they wanted this themselves ooh, intrigue. and the world is very very quirky they start in a gravity falls-y woods and then get teleported to a desert with minotaurs and witches, then get invited for tea by the Grim Reaper and the rest of the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse

tbh Grim is the best part of the show but thats neither here nor there

anyway they have a magic map that updates once theyve been somewhere, and it shows them that the hot dry desert and the swampy wood bunker are like right next to each other

so you start thinking, how are they gonna explain that? this is too weird to be handwaved away. theyve gotta be going somewhere

they visit some other exotic locals, like what appears to be the set of Alien (complete with alien) and an abandoned old fair and a floating island with japanese inspired evildoers on it

the weird magic guide keeps showing up and being vague, dropping hints that there are other kids there etc

at some point Mira says "This is no time for games!" Weirdy: "Thats where youd be wrong~" me and sister: Aha! videogame! that connects all the dots, and also makes the tropes clear: small world with all kinds of different areas, quests, fights, superpowers, an updating map, fast travel Adam, a few eps later: guis i think we might be in a videogame me and sister: [high five]

Anyway in the meantime also the second predictable Kai (discount Ron) plot happens: they meet three other kids (boy boy girl) and they act shady but the girl takes an immediate and obvious interest in Kai so obviously theyre gonna manipulate him and have him betray his friends but in the end he'll see through their facade and kick their ass that more or less happens. The other teens also confirm that this is a game, and theyre trying to win. winning is done by bringing the MacGuffin to a tree fights over macguffin ensue situations are dire but our characters persevere

(also Mira kisses Adam and he acts very weird about it, almost as if hes gay and the only reason they didnt make it canon is censors) (no lingering gaze, just him going 'hehe yeah no thanks, its not you, its me', but in a very... he doesnt seem to be saying it with shall we say burning desire in his soul. hes literally just like 'eh youre a good friend.' Cool move, cartoon that made the two main boys have arguments over nothing cause of course the two main guys have constant dick measuring matches)

this all is not the offensive part btw it was all fun and games, its just a flash cartoon i wasnt expecting Shakespeare

anyway so theyre in a videogame, and apparently thats the answer to all the weirdness. A bit of a cop-out, cause thats a very easy answer, but eh, it works. it wasnt immediately obvious.

also something i hadnt mentioned yet: thisd be ideal for making (self-insert) OCs. Unique powers for each person, there are clearly more characters than shown, the world is your playground

and maybe the video game thing could be interesting on its own in the last few eps the game seems to be glitching out a lot they say its breaking apart so they really gotta hurry now maybe they were beta testers for a vr game gone wrong maybe this is part of it but its like a huge experience that you tell all your friends about anyway there are ways it could be cool, could be expanded to a season 2 despite having solved the mystery

but. last episode. our heroes get the MacGuffin, go to a final stage, and fight the Boss Battle (its a dragon). they enter the Castle....

...and the screen zooms out, into a sudden live action stage, where we see the cartoon (literally what you were just watching) on screen. there are 6 chairs, 3 with our heroes, 3 with the other teens, presumably. theres a host and hes dressed exactly like the weird guy (and that was already kind of a clashy outfit in the cartoon). it was all just a game show. but. the worst part is the live action

you. dont. go. from. animated. to. live. action.

other way around? fine, can work. But now? WHY itd still be dumb and dissapointing but if itd been animated too itd at least have been.... nice to look at but the acting.. oh god they didnt even say anything and it was all wrong clearly theyd just picked the first random teens that vaguely looked like the chars and put them in there cause they had no lines so who needs acting?!

the enemy teams girl had, in the cartoon, pink hair. Purple with pink highlights instead of stylizing that into something more realistic or painting the actual hair, they gave some 30-year old woman a wig and called it a day

keep in mind i binged this show in one go

purposely stayed up late to watch the last ep with my sis even tho we shouldve gone to bed and were disobeying our dad cause we Had to Know

and theres more i said they had no lines but i was lying. Kai did have a line. well, his voice actor did they dubbed him also the line was about him having to pee which is already not the most hilarious in animated version but a live action kid whose supposed to be this character you spent 3 hours with but looks nothing like him saying that in a voice that doesnt belong to his throat, as he stands bashfully in front of a live audience, the only words spoken by your main characters in the last moments...

*its actual hell*

oh oh one more thing at the end the six kids stand in a line and kai is next to other girl they glance at each other and as the eyes of this teen and 30 year old in wig cross, her eye glitches for a moment

dun dun duuun

bUT i dont care anymore, The Hollow. You overestimated your own premise. this wont be forgiven. your most interesting part was the mystery, and the answer  to that was "just a normal game show" (which also doesnt make sense on another level smh) soo if you think that im interested in what these two-dimensional (ha) characters will do now about the glitch in the eye of a bitch then i have news for u

i dont

...if they get a second season ill probably check it out though as long as its animated

Friend: Gammi I'm getting the real sinking suspicious feeling that what you saw isn't the real end but bad on purpose because there's more to it

Me: the show didnt seem good enough to be bad on purpose

and yet im still not done, if youll still hear me out

i mean, im an animation fan so ill still watch but if theyd wanted to be bad on purpose they really shouldve done a better job fleshing out the characters thats what people come back for that was a bit of a sidetrack BUT so i said why the live action itself was just terrible in overal quality

but the resolution that 'oh it was all in a game show' doesnt work on multiple levels

first of all, they show a short flashback of "About 5 hours earlier". The kids stand on the stage and are instructed to take their seats in the vr-chairs, and pick their superpower

2 things i dislike about that

1) there goes all the self-insert/oc potential. they werent teens in over their heads, they werent gvnmt experiments, or just some kids who wanted to play a game -they were in it to win it, from the start. thats very specific and not the most appealing to all kinds of characters (goodbye, all the 'im just an average girl whod never step into the spotlight like that' characters).

Also, all the expansion on lore is gone. maybe there were other games simultaneously? eh, maybe, but theyd be all gameshows. Maybe someone ended uo trapped there for way longer? nah its just a gameshow theyre not gonna let anything actually bad happen. Maybe there are other worlds, other areas, other weird creatures? unlikely, they finished the map and familiarity seemed to be a thing for the audience. Now every new idea has to be put not through a 'whats interesting for a player' but a 'whats interesting for a viewer' lens, and whats a selfinsert if not a player in another universe

2) HOW IS THIS A SUCCESSFUL GAME SHOW

who the hell watches a game show for 5 consecutive hours, some of which mustve been just them walking. also, we zoom out of the screen were watching, so implication is that everything up until then has been what the audience has seen. but... we only followed the one team. there were two? why didnt the audience want to see what they were up to? ~reality tv usually thrives on showinf the worst assholes so realistically they wouldve been the focus~

There are also way too many times *both* teams couldve failed, from early on till late in the game. Not a single game i can think of thats played for an audience is set up like that, and especially not a televised one (okay tbf idk if this was televised, i dont remember if i saw cameras, but. it mustve. monetary reasons.)

What r u gonna do if they all 'died' from the monsters in the first ep? Call it a day? boring for the audience. let them restart from scratch? boring for the audience. the existence of an audience messes with everything

AND THEN ANOTHER THING what do you mean, "5 hours ago?" you never get a time stamp to show how long theyve been in there but there are some cuts, when they travel and such. The actual show is a lil over 3 hours runtime. You mean to tell me you sat through 2 hours of the characters just walking?

okay last thing. so. they were clearly second season teasing with the glitching eye thing. i already said this but. theres nowhere to go from here that isnt worse that the first season. your mystery is dead. you clearly know your live action teens cant act so youd have to go back into the game - but why would they do that? how would that be in any way interesting? you explored all there was to explore.

The other, more out there option, is that as you said the 'real world' was a fake-out and theyre still in a game. but. how would- how would you even make that remotely convincing? if youd just left the 'real world' gameshow as animated too this wouldnt have been a problem. but there is absolutely no conceivable reason to justify, in universe, why another meta-level up is 2D animation again unless they were in a game, in a game, in a game. and thats just dumb. yall aint inception

Friend: HONESTLY if they just kept the whole deal animated it'd probably be okay. Not good, but better,

Me: ye me and my sister came to the same conclusion

i couldve lived with that. at least, i couldve just acknowledged the finales existence but chose to ignore it. now however im full phantom planet levels of denial. in fact i dont even know how the show ended anymore, suddenly

Friend: what finale? what show?

Me: also at least now we know why its called The Hollow

it leaves you feeling empty inside

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #153

“i may be easy - easy to hate, but you’re so fucking easy, easy to break.”

Do you think age matters in friendship?  Nah.  One of my closest friends is in his 30s.  Now of course I believe a parent should monitor a friendship of a minor and adult, but, I still believe friendship is certainly possible. What was the last essay/assignment you wrote about?  It was only the rough draft, but I helped Colleen with her assessment of "Female" by Keith Urban. When do you usually put your Christmas decorations up?  Usually start in early December. Are you more likely to eat when you’re bored or depressed?  When I'm bored, I'd say.  When I'm depressed, I'm more keen on sleeping.  I've gotten better about not eating when I'm bored, thankfully. Do you have a case/cover for your phone? Describe it.  No, I want one tho. Do you take good care of your skin?  I've been making a decent effort lately.  I HATE the bumps I have on my arms from dry skin, so I've been moisturizing them as well as my face. What was your dream job when you were a kid?  Paleontologist.  I would still pursue it if I wasn't turned off by a career with loads of travel, nor do I think I have the patience to obtain a PhD. Is there any music you listen to that was influenced by your parents?  Oh yeah, Mom especially.  She's all about heavy metal, especially the classics.  Dad too, but I'd say he's more hard rock. Do you use tampons or pads? Or both?  Tampons, pads gross me out afsdjafjw.  I started with them though. Is your internet wireless or do you need a cable?  Wireless. What is something you’re behind the times on?  Ummm idk. Have you ever had a severe allergic reaction?  No. What color are your glasses, if applicable?  Black. List a great $1 store find:  Idk. List a great garage sale find:  *shrugs* Who is one YouTuber you would like to meet?  m a r k Do you have your own website?  I have my own photography one. Do you like candy corn?  Omg demons stay back. Were you happy as a kid?  Yep. What is your favorite Queen song?  If your answer isn't "Bohemian Rhapsody," I don't want you in my life. Who was the last person you blocked on social media? Why?  Colleen, 'cuz I was kicking her out of my life and know that woman too well that she would try sending me a novel of hate, and I wasn't having it.  Turns out she shared our drama over Facebook afterwards to make me the bad guy, and I still have trouble believing I forgave something that petty.  She apologized for it, eh. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?  The old woman my mom had watched.  I knew enough about her to know she was a super sweet woman, so I barely held it together in there.  She died the very next morning. Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life?  Ha, no.  He doesn't deserve my friendship. You never know what you have until you’ve lost it, true or false?  Nah. What’s the craziest thing you’ve done?  I dunno, possibly something sexual. When was the last time you spoke to someone in a different language?  Back in high school when I was doing a German test over the phone. Have you ever successfully broken a bad habit? How about conquered a fear of something?  Omg, so I had this habit of when I was thinking deeply or nervous, I would pull my eyebrows out.  It got to the point it would sometimes look like I almost had none.  Super embarrassing, especially because I did this a lot in school.  As for a fear, it was never a big one, but going to see Sara broke my mild fear of flying.  I like it now. Have you ever read a whole series of books?  Yes. Are you going to walk at your graduation or just pick your diploma up?   For when I finish college, I'm probably just picking up my diploma. Have you ever tried to break a Guinness World Record?  No. Do you know how to read music?  I recall some notes. Do you own any shirts that have a year on it?  Ha ha, I got that "I was there" shirt for the Back to the Future date. Do you have any scratches on your cell phone?  No. Is your skin tone lighter or darker than your mom’s?  Lighter. Have you ever done another person’s make-up?  I gave Jason a makeover. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  Honestly still hope I have that picture somewhere.  Regardless of what happened, that is damn good memory, he hated it so much. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname?  Sara, Ashley, Nicole, and Mom. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin?  'Bout two weeks back to get my tongue pierced. Who is the youngest gay person you know?  Dunno. Have you ever watched an animal being eaten by another animal?  Yeah, our old cats with mice 'n such. Do you get along with people who are especially religious? Why/why not?  If you don't push it on me, certainly.  Respect my theism, I'll respect your whatever. Do you have any interesting pillow cases?  No. Are you more afraid of spiders or bees?  Well, there's too much variety in this question.  I'll fear a wolf spider more than a bumblebee, but a hornet more than daddy long leg. Has your best friend ever seen you naked?  No. Do you get mad when your current bf/gf talks about an ex?  Not at all. Do you know anybody who was abused?  Yes. Would you prefer a baby boy or girl?  If I was to have kids, y'know, I don't know.  Perhaps a girl, but I know boys are generally easier, and feeling the bond between a mother and her son would be amazing.  I'unno. When did you last feel like your privacy was invaded?  I'm not sure. Do your parents volunteer anywhere?  No. If you were a different religion from your current one, what would it be? Why?  Wiccan, because their beliefs (that I know of) are interesting. Have you ever had your phone taken away at school?  No. How old were you the first time you dyed your hair?  Idk.  I think first year of high school; I don't believe dyed hair was allowed in middle. Do you talk the same way you do in person as you do online?  For the most part. How would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile?  I'd be like, irrationally happy.  I don't want kids, and I have a considerably large fear of being raped and thus get pregnant, so. Do you get along with your best friend’s parents?  Her mom's a bitch, and her dad's... different. Have you ever been in a relationship where you didn’t get along with the person’s parents?  No. How many people of the opposite sex have you said ‘I love you’ to?  One, romantically. Do you put marshmallows in your hot chocolate?  No. What is the best thing you can draw?  Meerkats are like the only thing I can draw decently without a reference. What band did you see for your first concert?  Alice Cooper. Do you think people with legitimate addictions are pathetic, or do you understand them?  Oh fuck off.  I obviously can't "understand" because I've never endured one, but addictions are serious.  Addiction is not a choice, and from meeting so many druggies during my psych hospital visits as well as having a friend who got clean, it's fucking hard. Has anyone you know ever had serious surgery before?  Yeah, Mom had kidney cancer.  The tumor was bigger than the kidney itself. When was the last time you had butterflies?  When Sara was here, we had these few moments where we were just staring at each other smiling and asjdfawjij. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross?  I don't like it. Do you own a pet fish? What kind of fish are they?  No. Do you have a porch swing?  No. How many area codes would you recognize?  My own and childhood town's. Who has the best taste in music in your family?  Besides myself obviously, Mom. What animal did you last pet or hold?  My cat. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have?  Maybe like.  Dakota.  Probs my favorite unisex name. If you had to have one feature on your body changed to a canine version of said feature, what would you choose?  Gimme dem teefs. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced?  Some fast food, QUALITY MAKEUP, gas, uhhhh. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart?  Six, or seven if you count my dog.  Maybe forgetting some. Shot of whiskey, or a bottle of Smirnoff?  The latter, I love Smirnoff's. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater?  No. Would you ever scuba dive in shark infested waters if you had the chance? In a cage, sure.  Otherwise, no.  Sharks are very much villainized, but I respect their capabilities, rare as an attack is. Have you ever hit a parked car with your car?  Not yet, boy will I when I learn how to park around others lmao. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? Hmmm, not sure. How many times have you been on a plane?  Four times that I remember, but I was on one as a baby, too. What do you wish were different about your hair?  I wish it was eASIER TO DYE- What’s a personality type that you do not like? Overly talkative is draining for me.  I also dislike the kinds of people who aim to make every "conversation" almost exclusively about themselves/leave no room for you to really express your own thoughts.  That's not a convo. What’s a personality type that you do like? Deep thinkers.  Those open to many possibilities, even if wild.  Nature-adoring people and/or ones who feel heavily connected to the earth. Which of your friends is the least like you and in what way? Colleen.  My best friend somehow, ha ha.  She's extremely straightforward and isn't afraid to hurt feelings if she feels it's important for you to see truth, she gets shit done quick/doesn't procrastinate, she can be quite argumentative, she's completely independent, our religious and some political views are different, our music taste is totally inverted, and I'm sure there's more I'm forgetting.  We're a prime example of opposites attract.  Love her to death. How about the most like you and in what way? Sara, and I could write a novel here lmao.  Separated at birth kinda shit. What’s something you do daily and is this a habit of yours? Sit on the computer, and yeeaah it's just about all I do. What was the last thing to frustrate you and is it still frustrating you now?  Hm.  Dunno.  Probably something like Roman being so intent on lying on the keyboard. What helps you fall asleep? Nothing lol. Is there any type of medicine you can’t take? For what reason?  Anti-depressants.  Learned from my current psychiatrist that taking them only amps up bipolarity symptoms if you have that as well, which I do. Do you like designer bags with the logo stamped all over them?  No. Is Russian or Native American history more interesting to you?  Native American. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why?  British, 'cuz it's hot. Have you ever missed a flight?  Omg yes.  O'Hare after visiting Sara was absolutely impossible.  It was so.  Busy.  That and I didn't know what I was doing through half of it. If your ex suddenly kissed you right now, what would you do?  "The" ex would lose his balls, the others I'd push back. Are you a virgin?  P sure no but my story is complicated so aojsdfaow. What is one feature that you don’t like?  I'm guessing you mean on myself personally, and that would easily be weight.  I'd be relatively fine with myself if that was where I want it to be. What’s the genre of the current song you’re listening to?  Metal ballad. What would you do if you were stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean?  I don't really know.  A part of me says I'd be so hopeless and terrified I'd drown myself.  The odds of being found are minuscule. Who is the funniest person you know?  Girt. When sitting on the floor, in what position do you normally sit?  Kinda with my legs turned to the same side. Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked?  Spontaneously is way less awkward for me.  But only if you're pretty sure through my display of comfort that I'm fine with it. Have you ever tried to break someone up?  I thought about it out of spite.  I considered messaging her over Facebook and telling her what she was in for, and I wished her dead, and I'm not joking.  Turns out he broke up with her for the same reason as me, according to Mom being a FB stalker apparently. Are you a bad influence?  I am in some areas.  Shouldn't be even remotely lazy as me, and you shouldn't illegally download shit. Would you ever get a tattoo?  I already have five, and six is probably coming next year with holiday + birthday money. Do you get nervous before going to doctor appointments?  Not really, no.  The only thing that makes me anxious is having to get weighed lmao. Do you call anyone "baby?"  Sara, but more frequently "babygirl." What is a movie that you thought you would hate but you ended up loving?  Off the top of my head, I think A Raisin in the Sun. Do you have any close friends that were adopted?  No. What time do you usually have a shower?  Night. What do you want to do after high school? I immediately went to a community college but dropped out in like a month.  My depression was so bad and I just couldn't handle the difficulty, responsibility, and independence leap. Do you know anybody that is pregnant right now? Not off the top of my head.  My acquaintance had a baby girl less than a week ago, though.