#my parents got confused and chose gay daughter

[causereyna-artie]

“aren’t you like hee-ndu? Don’t you worship cows?”

Nope, actually I only kneel for women.

[johnnycakesb14de]

"My parents got confused and chose thought daughter."

"My parents got confused and chose gay thought thot son"

bitch my parents got high or something and chose fucking Ponyboy Curtis

[natvksblog]

My parents got confused and chose "thought daughter obsessed with gay sons"

[daydream-cement]

Pls could you write Larissa Weems x Daughter!reader where the reader is in her like 20's and is a teacher there and students ask questions abt her and Larissa

What’s Your Mom Like?

Larissa Weems x Daughter!Reader

“Did Principal Weems have lots of rules for you as a kid?” Enid spoke up first. You had asked if the students had any questions, maybe you should have been more specific that the questions should pertain to today’s lecture.

“No more than a normal parent, why?” You knew that many of the students were intrigued by your relationship to the school principal. As your mother, Larissa Weems, had been hesitant on having you work at Nevermore due to her position as principal, but you both found it quite pleasant to have you working there together.

“I thought Principal Weems was gay…” Ajax said to Enid, loud enough that most of the class heard his confused statement.

“She is. I’m adopted.” You lean back against your desk, realizing that you have probably lost them for the last 5 minutes of class.

“Is she always dressed up? Does she own a pair of sweatpants?” The question from Bianca made you laugh. You knew the answer was no, she doesn’t always dress up and yes, she loves her sweatpants, but you chose to lie instead.

“Yes, she loves to look nice and no, no sweatpants.” You knew that your mother liked to uphold her clean cut image. If she wanted to tell them about her favorite sweatpants, she can do that herself.

“Did you get into any trouble as a kid? What was the worst thing you got in trouble for?” The students all seem to lean in at Enid’s new question. They wanted to know you have gotten into trouble with Principal Weems like they have.

“Of course I got into trouble. I snuck out a few times in high school. Let me tell you, Principal Weems was not happy about that one.” You smile back at the memory and remember how pissed off your mom was when she sat up all night waiting for you to get home.

“I put bars on her windows after that.” Your mother stood at your classroom door, telling an obvious joke, but the students didn’t seem to catch onto it. Her mischievous gaze caught yours. Now that you were both adults, your mother and you had tons of fun together. Mainly because you both had the same quick wit and sarcasm.

The students looked up to you in shock and horror to see if it was true, you shook your head, setting the record straight.

“Has Ms. Weems told you about how I used to embarrass her at all of the Nevermore Rave’Ns by making her dance with me?” Your mother’s question made you roll your eyes, knowing she was about to find a few ways to share your lesser youth experiences with your students.

“No I haven’t, Prinicipal Weems. That’s a story for another day.” With your final words, the bell rung and the students wasted no time leaving your classroom to get to their next class.

Your mother entered the classroom and made her way to your desk, “Was this the Larissa Weems biography hour?”

“Yes, I told them how tormented my childhood was due to your smothering and endless love.” You remark sarcastically with a smile, knowing tour mother would enjoy the joke.

“Oh, good. Are we still on for lunch?”

[someoldhealer]

when my parents got confused and chose gay daughter who is severely obsessed with indie folk music 😇

[spaceagebachelormann]

my parents got confused and chose gay thot thought daughter son

[reidfucker]

my parents got confused and chose gay thought thot son daughter

[dogjak]

gay son or thot daughter but my parents got confused and chose thot son

[mikeisntreallyreal]

My parents got confused and chose gay thought daughter-son

[i-complain]

tiktok trend i hate

gay son or thot daughter. first it was ‘my parents got confused and chose gay daughter’ which is funny but when you turn thot into thought it’s completely fucking nothing and it means nothing nd it irrationally annoys me. please define a thought daughter. a daughter who thinks?? yeah we all do that harry styles and the fucking gilmore girls have nothing to do with it

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials - Season 2 Episode 7 *FINALE* (Thoughts and Rambles)

We have a LOT to unpack here oh my god oh my god

When I say I was screaming and yelling during the episode, I mean I was LITERALLY screaming and yelling

This post is mostly screeching and capital letters, you’ve been warned

“So cold” “life or death meant nothing” - well shit. Accurate description of a Spectre attack damn

I didn’t know what those creepy noises were at first and I was sat here absolutely TERRIFIED because it was creepy as fuck. Then I realized it was cliff ghasts because they said something that I recognized from the book and I was like “oh shit”

Pan and Will talking is the sweetest omg

The fact that Pan told him that Lyra thinks he’s as brave as King Iorek Byrnison :’)

“She’s the best friend I’ve ever had” “You’re her best friend too” - STOP, MY HEART

Lyra was awake and heard the whole conversation :3

“I’m no longer an aeronaut” :( “I’m an insect” - LMAO

Hester and Lee’s banter remains my favourite thing and now it’s bittersweet tbh...

“You could never be an insect, Lee” “Okay, hare” - bless them

Marisa finding where Lyra was staying and then finding Lyra’s coat?? And crying with it pressed to her face?? :’(

In case I haven’t mentioned it already, I am incredibly gay for the witches/their aesthetic/costume. Absolutely beautiful queens, all of them

Oh hi, it’s Mary and the two kids!

The fact that Mary helped them find their adults :’)

Also, “We like you miss” - BLESS

I’m kind of confused as to whether the blue flower petals are important or if it’s just her smelling them? IDK

“I’m close to my father, it’s time I found him” - OOF OKAY UMM ARE YOU SURE

“I let my best friend down” - Noooo Lyra, no you didn’t! :( Your dad is a terrible parent and killed him, that’s not your fault!

“Maybe this is how I let you down” - Well done, Asriel and Marisa, you’ve fucked up a perfectly fine child is what you’ve done

Will telling Lyra that she hasn’t let him down :3

That witch turning up because she was trying to warn Marisa about the spectres, only for Marisa to torture and kill her... oof

FUCKING MONKEY I CAN’T DECIDE HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM

“She’s MY daughter” - Okay, damn, lady...

“EVE. She’s the mother of all” - OH FUCK YOU TOLD HER. OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK

THE SPECTRE ATE HER DÆMON OMG NO THIS IS HORRIFYING WTAF

Seriously, the way the witch went so grey and lifeless and just fell to her knees and down... Urgh, my stomach is turning

Just when I thought I hated the monkey again, he starts whimpering because he’s afraid of the Spectres :(

“Stop whimpering” - DAMN MARISA YOU ARE A STONE COLD BITCH HUH

Pan being the damn voice of reason and telling Lyra they should stay with the witches like yes, Lyra, listen to him for once!!!

Okay but why are the Magisterium soldiers lowkey dressed like German soldiers from one of the World Wars???

I’m not really surprised that BBC left out the detail of Ruta and Asriel fucking when she found him to be honest XD

So the witches think that the Æsahættr is a person but it’s actually the KNIFE. AND THEY DON’T REALIZE. RUTA YOU DON’T NEED TO GO ANYWHERE, IT’S LITERALLY RIGHT THERE

“...That’s not my dæmon.” “Run.” - OH SHIT OKAY MY WHOLE BODY JUST TENSED UP

So umm Lee got shot and FUCK NO FUCK NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS EMOTIONALLY THANKS

I LITERALLY DO NOT WANT THIS TO HAPPEN OKAY

“You’re either with me or against me” Umm he’s your dæmon?!?!

THE WAY SHE SCREAMED AT HIM OH MY GOD SHE’S FUCKING TERRIFYING HOLY CRAP

“What are you frightened of?” - oh, I don’t know, Marisa, maybe because YOU FUCKING SCREECHED AT HIM. MAYBE HE’S FRIGHTENED OF YOU

Also I love the detail of Marisa getting onto her hands and knees, sort of crouching and mirroring the monkey’s body language. I just love the parallel

The way the monkey flinched from her when she went to touch him omg :( No dæmon should be THIS afraid of their person (or at all?!?!)

Honestly, I find this series’ portrayal of Marisa fascinating tbh

“We have to do whatever it takes to keep her safe” - Umm, like maybe drugging her and hiding her in a cave for months? 🤔

Also in case I didn’t say this before, the fact she has complete control of the Spectres is fucking scary and always has been from the very first time I read the books

Okay so Lee is fully aware that he’s going to die if he stays behind but he does it because he knows that it’s the best chance of making sure that Lyra ends up under the knife’s protection (because Jopari will find her). All Lee wants is for Lyra to be safe and that hurts my heart so much, he loves this child so much :’(

“I love that little girl like a daughter” - LEE STOP MY HEART IS ALREADY BREAKING AS IT IS

NO NO NO NO I AM NOT AND NEVER WILL BE READY

Oh hey Red PAN-da (sorry I know I keep repeating that joke but honestly LOOK AT HIM)

“Once I change, you’ll stop changing” - OH SHIT. So we’re having THAT conversation then

“What do you think you’ll be?” “A flea I hope” - LMFAO I LOVE IT

“Is it Will that’s changing you?” “I think” - FORESHADOWING FOR AMBER SPYGLASS ANYONE?!

All the meanwhile, while Lee is dying and shit is going down, Ms Mary Malone is just chilling in a cave on a mountain by a waterfall, just reading

I literally struggled to watch Lee’s final scenes. I literally didn’t want to watch it because I cried reading it in the book, and I knew I’d be the same here

The fact that Lee HATES taking away people’s lives but he says “it’s theirs or Lyra’s”... I love him. He loves her so much.

“Think about anything, think about bacon!” - LMFAO I LOVE YOU HESTER YOU ABSOLUTE GEM

THE BULLET CLIPPED HIS SCALP AND I HAD A HEART ATTACK 

“This is my fault, isn’t it?” - NO HESTER NO DON’T YOU DARE BLAME YOURSELF DARLIN’, YOU ARE THE BEST AND WE LOVE YOU AND LEE LOVES YOU

I do this everytime I read the book and I did here even though I know what happens, but I was praying mentally that maybe Serafina would reach Lee in time... just maybe...

I’m really sitting here crying over Hester and Lee on a Sunday night, love that for me

Hester limping :(

“Don’t you go before I do” - FUCK YOU BBC AND PHILIP I’M SOBBING MY EYES OUT

“Oh how far we flew” - STOP IT. STOP IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW I SWEAR-

I literally yelled and cried out “NOOO” when Hester faded away and Lee died. I am so upset even though I KNEW it was coming. I am literally not okay.

Oh god no Will, now is not the time to be walking away from Lyra and that witch 

Also why is that witch asleep on guard?? Come on, love, do better, it’s not like these are the two most important children in all the universes.... 

To be fair to Marisa, I’d feel pretty invincible if I were climbing up a mountain while the Spectres were guarding me/on my side

WILL AND JOHN FINALLY MET AHHHH

“I was told I’d find my father here”  - YEAH AND THAT’S HIM WILL ASDFGHJKL;

I’m low-key disappointed that there’s no brawl between Will and Jopari here. Like they instantly recognize each other and... hmm. I know there has to be changes but still.

“Your mother, Will, where is she?” - Awww. John really didn’t stop loving her :’)

“My son... is the Knife Bearer” - oooooohhhhhhh

“You have a dæmon” - that’s right, Will. Don’t worry, you’ll get one next season

The way I audible went “oh shIT” when Mrs Coulter found Lyra fast asleep. Like I said, I knew what was going to happen but STILL

I’m not really surprised that those Spectres killed the witch who was supposed to be guarding Lyra and Will tbh like that’s what happens when only ONE witch guards two teenagers and that witch falls asleep

The way that Lyra panicked when she woke up and saw her mother stroking her cheek omg 

Off topic but I’ve only just realized that Jopari has a fucking man-bun LMFAO OKAY

The fact that Jopari tried to get back to Will and Elaine but couldn’t will always hurt me

“And you chose these people over your family?” - I MEAN-

“I’ve thought about you every day.” - Awww

So John tells Will that he has to go to Asriel and bring him the knife, and he tells him all about the war that’s coming and I have LITERAL chills because I’m so ready

“And then we go home?” “... And then we go home.” - RIP MY HEART OUT, IT WOULD HURT LESS

“I’m not strong enough” - yes you are, Will! I promise you, you are! And Jopari says, “Both of us were brought here” - exactly! You were brought there for a reason by fate or whatever you want to call it!

“Your duty was to be my father” - WILL REALLY CAME FOR HIS DAD LIKE THAT I GUESS

“Look what you’ve become without me” - Oh my god, just when I thought I wasn’t going to cry again

JOPARI HUGGING WILL, SEEING THE SOLDIER AIMING, AND THEN PUTTING HIMSELF BETWEEN THEM SO HE TOOK THE BULLET INSTEAD OF WILL ASDFGHJKL;

So in the book, Jopari is killed by a scorned witch who had once asked him to be her lover, but he had turned her down (because of Elaine and Will obviously), and she kills Jopari in front of Will and then he kills her (I think?). But here it’s just a soldier leftover from the Lee vs Magisterium fight, so... yeah. Kind of a little peeved about the change personally but whatever I guess.

“The night is full of angels, they will guide you now” - AHHHHH

Also, might just be me, but maybe that line would have been slightly more impactful if the scene had taken place at night

This show really said “fuck healthy parental figures” I guess

Except Will’s mum, she’s the best and if anything were to happen to her we’d all riot

SAYAN KÖTÖR FADING AWAY NOOOO I HATE SEEING DÆMONS DIE

Okay, last little gripe, but I just wanted to say that in the book, Will doesn’t realize it’s his dad until literally the last second before his dad dies - like they both realize and then BAM, Jopari is killed. And while I do love the father-son reunion, I am kind of annoyed by the change because it was such a huge punch in the gut in the book that Will searches for so long for his dad, only to lose him the second he finds him.

Serafina finding Lee’s body and kissing his forehead was yet another punch in the gut, thanks Pullman/BBC/BadWolf

The fact that Will had to bury his dad :(

Also, WILL WEARING JOPARI’S JACKET OH MY GOD MY HEART

Oof that shot of his amputated fingers...

So the narration, when it started I thought it was Jopari at first, like from one of his letters... but then as it continued, I went “hang on”, and then I said outloud “wait, is that ASRIEL?!”

DID MARISA REALLY PUT LYRA IN A FUCKING TRUNK?!? BITCH ARE YOU OKAY?!?

Will putting his hood up like his dad did just hits differently

Okay so um ASRIEL HI I WASN’T EXPECTING TO SEE YOU THIS SEASON OH MY GOD THE SCREAM I LET OUT

HIS MONOLOGUE BY THE WAY IS FUCKING ART AND A MASTERPIECE BUT I WAS TOO BUSY CRYING OVER JAMES MCAVOY TO WRITE THE WHOLE MONOLOGUE DOWN

Oh, hi Stelmaria!

It always makes me scream that this man is not only Lord Asriel now but he’s also fucking Mr Tumnus and MOTHERFUCKING BILL DENBROUGH LIKE HOW IS THIS MAN INVOLVED IN SO MANY OF MY FANDOMS?!?

ANGELS ANGELS OH MY FUCKING GOD-

“We stand with you, Asriel Belacqua” - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Let us prepare for war” - FUUUUUUUUCK

(I was deadly serious when I said this was just me screaming and crying by the way)

I’m still reeling over the fact that Marisa put her daughter in a fucking trunk. Like I get you can’t exactly carry a drugged child about in the open but Jesus Christ, love, really?!?

Also Ruth Wilson / Marisa Coulter in a headscarf? *chef kiss*

The way that the screen went to black as she put the lid on the trunk down - SHIT OH SHIT GOOSEBUMPS

THE CREDIT SONG IS SO BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE IT HAS FUCKING ANGELS NOW I’M-

I WASN’T EXPECTING THE POST CREDITS SCENE OH MY GOD

ROGER?! ROGER! IT’S ROGER I’M NOT OKAY-

BBC YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THAT ON US LIKE THAT FUCK-

“What is this place?” - I’M SCREAMING SO LOUD I CAN’T HOLD IT IN

For anyone unaware, the reason I’m screaming so loud over the post-credits scene is because in TAS, while Lyra is drugged and in a groggy sleep, she has these visions of Roger talking to her from the Land of the Dead, which then later leads to her and Will actually GOING to the Land of the Dead and... well, the rest is even HUGER spoilers but YEAH I’M NOT OKAY.

Honestly, I’m just so happy and emotional because I’ve been waiting over a decade for a decent adaptation of not only NL but for TSK and TAS too, and we’re 2/3 there now. Just one more book/series to go... I wish we could have it now. I really hope that filming for the final one starts ASAP because if we have to wait two years just to see the conclusion to this series, I might cry.

This series is so amazing, and this season especially has been so incredible to watch. It’s been the highlight of my week for seven weeks, and I have no idea what I’ll do with my Sundays now that it’s over. I’ve asked for the DVD for S2 for my birthday already (since it comes out 29th December and my birthday is 13th January... just saying), and words can’t describe how much I do love this series. I know it sounds hollow since I say it about so many things I’m into, but this was such a huge part of my childhood and it’s one of my favourite fantasy series of all time. It’s truly one of the most incredible pieces of literature and now it’s making for incredible television... I love it so much.

[yutahoes]

Otou-Chan

Yuta Nakamoto x Reader (Y/N) Smut

(Chapter Twenty Two)

Summary: 𝐁𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧 𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐡𝐰𝐚 𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐘𝐮𝐭𝐚’𝐬 𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐬.

Warning: Fluff, Teasing, Sex, Angst (?)

Word Count: 3.1k

Masterlist

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

22. Kanojo

Every night, (Y/N) would wake up with the same dream of his dad choking her to death. A dark reality that turned into her nightmare. But she cannot tell Yuta about it. She can’t tell him how scared she is now that she knew that her only family hates her that much. That she doesn’t really know what to do with her life. She badly wanted to lean on Yuta but she’s not his responsibility. She should at least be responsible for herself. And the first thing she thinks she needs is to get over these nightmares. 

The warm water is colder now that she was too preoccupied with thinking. Her thumb rubbed the rim of the cup that she’s scared she might erase it. “What’s wrong?” she heard someone say and she turned to the bedroom door to see Yuta walking to where she is on the couch. “Nightmare?” 

His hands were warm as he held her hands. The warmth she badly needed now. “Can you hug me?” 

He complied, pulling her closer and wrapping his sturdy arms around her. Yuta’s warmth and scent. “I miss my dad, Yuta.” she sobbed on his chest but he just held her, letting her cry. It’s been days and although he’s proud of her for not crying, he can see how tough everything is for her. Now, he just wanted her to let everything go. To let herself cry. “I miss how he makes bungeoppang for me and mom when I was young.” His eyes widened in surprise. That’s why she liked that food. It reminds her of her dad.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.” 

It breaks his heart that he can’t do anything. Of course, she’s still a daughter yearning for a father's love, yearning for her parents’ love. Even if he could give her the whole world, he cannot really give her that missing part in her life. “Do you want me to help you find your mom?” he asked. She looked up to look if he’s serious and he is. “I can ask Taeil to look for her. Maybe if she comes back, your family will be whole again.” 

“She already left, Yuta.” He knows. And somehow when she said those words, it breaks his heart even more. “She also doesn't want me in her life. What can I do?” If only he could curse at her parents for making her feel this way.

Yuta breathed heavily. “It will not make up for your family but would you like to meet mine?” he asked. “My dad would really like you.” He kissed the top of her head, her forehead, then a quick kiss on her lips. “Then let’s make a family of our own, (Y/N).”

--

“Will you be drinking at Jungwoo’s place tonight?” Yuta asked when he dropped off his girlfriend at the publishing house one morning. She shook her head at the question. “Call me.” Then she nodded, opening the door of the car. 

Before she could step away from the curb, she turned to Yuta who was watching her. “Your dad?” she asked. “Do you think he’ll enjoy the sushi at that sushi place we went to before?" 

The guy smiled while nodding. "He would really love that."

--

(Y/N) was still surprised when he let her stay at Jungwoo’s for a night, reasoning out that they had an illustration to finish. But really, she just wanted to talk to her best friend. She was lying on Jungwoo's lap while she shared the story of her dad and Jungwoo cursed at the old man. "Don't tell this to Johnny, he might get too mad." the guy claimed and she nodded, knowing full well that Johnny might really do that. “(Y/N), you poor little thing.” he cooed, brushing her hair with his fingers. “I’m glad Yuta is here for you.” 

She turned to look at him, pouting. “Yuta helped me a lot,” she confessed. “But I feel like I’m depending on him too much.” 

“Does he hate it?” 

She shook her head. “He wants us to have a family of our own.” 

Jungwoo gasped dramatically that made her laugh. She sat on the couch next to him. “He already proposed to you?” Is that even a proposal? But he would always say that he wanted to marry her. Maybe that’s it. She nodded which made the other gasp again. “Oh my God! Please tell me you said yes.” 

She just sighed as an answer. Jungwoo had to slap her arm at that. She did reject him. “I don’t think I deserve Yuta. Everyone will leave me in the end anyway.” 

The guy rolled his eyes at that. “I really want to meet your parents and smack the hell out of them for instilling that in your brain,” he complained that made her laugh. “But you know, Yuta seemed different.” She gave him a curious look. Different? “His eyes, I’ve seen that look before. Whenever Johnny would look at Jessica or when Lucas’ dad would look at his mom. That’s love, (Y/N).” 

“Yuta is so in love with you that he’ll probably take a bullet for you.” That was too cheesy. 

(Y/N) breathed heavily, leaning on his shoulder. “What should I do, Woo?”

“Marry the guy already. He’s willing to give the world to you,” he claimed then smiled widely. “If you don’t, I’ll marry him instead.” She glared at him, making Jungwoo laugh. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?” he asked in a small voice. 

The girl had to smile at that. She didn’t know that these feelings would just grow inside her. But can she blame herself when Yuta shows her all the love she was yearning in her heart? “Yes, Jungwoo. I’m in love with Yuta.” And she felt good when she muttered that. Now, she’ll just have Yuta know that.

--

(Y/N) was so nervous at the thought of meeting Yuta's dad. Jaehyun said that he's a nice fellow and even called Taeyong to ease her nerves. "His dad would really love you. He'd been asking Yuta to date for years. He's even convinced that his son is gay." Jaehyun claimed that made Taeyong lightly punch his stomach. "Honestly (Y/N), we're just really happy that Yuta's cock is functioning." The older glared that made Jaehyun shut up. 

"Are you going to meet his dad wearing that?" Taeyong asked gesturing to her pink blouse and black washed out jeans. What's wrong with her clothes? "Jae, is Sica noona's shop open today?" The younger nodded. "Call Yuta, we'll borrow his girlfriend for a while." 

Yuta's only revolt was 'Yah, don't do anything weird to my girlfriend' that made Jaehyun laugh, saying that he just want to boast that he has a girlfriend. (Y/N) didn't expect that Yuta can be this playful with his friends. It's like a different person and she's excited to know more about that Yuta. 

Taeyong chose a dark blue dress for her to wear, even asking the stylists to put on a little make-up and style her hair. These two boys dolled her up, and she giggled realizing that it will always be like this. Why didn't she have friends who are girls? 

Because of Yuta's incessant request, it was Taeyong who drove (Y/N) to the restaurant. This is awkward, she thought. This scene already happened before. "Do you remember our talk in the car park?" Taeyong started which made her nod, she was just thinking of that. "I remember you saying that you cannot give him enough." Again, she nodded. "You know Yuta isn't the type of guy who would ask you something in return. And I know how much he adores you, (Y/N)."  

"I often tell Jaehyun this but Yuta changed, for the better, when you came." She just gave him a confused look. "He smiles more often now. He doesn't get annoyed at Jaehyun that easily unlike before." Taeyong laughed. "I'm glad Yuta gets to meet you. I hope you won't break his heart." 

She nodded and he smiled. It's nice to know that Yuta has friends like Jaehyun and Taeyong to take care of him. "I hope I won't break his heart."

Taeyong had to smile watching at how Yuta stared at the girl who just went out of his car. His friend gave him an acknowledging nod and (Y/N) smiled at him before he drove away from the place. Those two really. They look so good together that he swore the heavens would rumble if they don't end up together. He really can't wait to see how pretty their babies will look like in the future.

"You look…" Yuta started. "Wow."

She giggled at that. "This was all Taeyong's work." She said as they boarded the elevator. "I thought we're just having dinner in that sushi place?"

"Dad has a business meeting in this hotel." He reasoned out just as people went inside the elevator, pushing the two of them by the corner. He stood behind her, hands on both her waist, pushing her closer to his body. She gulped when she felt something poking her from the back, Yuta is hard. His breathing on her nape doesn't even help at all. 

People were having their own conversations that when she moaned in a soft voice, no one turned to look at them. His hands went inside her skirt and she hid the exposed high with the clutch bag that Taeyong insisted that she bring. Maybe this is its purpose. "Fuck, I want you." He whispered against her ear.

"But your dad." 

"Let's just be quick."

--

(Y/N) laughed at the irony. The guy who doesn't like quickies is now suggesting to be quick. But she missed his cock. When was the last time they had sex? To her surprise, Yuta did reserve a room and somewhat she's convinced that they were plotting this. Him, Taeyong, and Jaehyun. 

They were kissing when they got inside the room. He slipped the strap of her dress down while the other held her thigh, wrapping it around his waist as he pushed her to bed. She was breathing hard, watching Yuta tower above her with a lot of want in his eyes. He removed his dress shirt then the belt of his pants before kneeling above her body. "Do you want to do this, baby?" She gulped at the intensity of his gaze that even if she's not in the mood earlier, she'll just say yes to him. She nodded, licking her lips. "Use your words, baby." 

"Yes, daddy." He smirked before leaning in to kiss her hard on the mouth. His hand massaged her clothed mound while leaving a trail of kisses on her neck to her chest. He pulled down her bra, his warm mouth quickly replacing the cold air that made her moan in pleasure. He took his time in sucking and licking her hardened nipples that she's so wet when his mouth sucked the skin of her stomach. "Yuta…" He only moaned as a response, his tongue licking the skin by the hem of her underwear. "I love you." 

He stopped to look at her, obviously surprised at what she just said. "What?"

She smiled at him. "I said I love you." She repeated that made him blink. "I am in love with you, Yuta Nakamoto."

"God!" His eyes become misty that made her surprised, a new reaction from Yuta. "I love you." He mumbled, kissing her lips sweetly. He smiled when he let go of the kiss then muttered 'I love you' once again, kissing her once again. His kisses become so warm that she had to touch his arm to remind him that they're in the middle of sex. "Let me make love to you, baby." 

Unlike the other times that he's inside her, he wasn't rough or rushing into it. His thrusts were slow and sensual, following a rhythm that made her so accustomed to it. The sex wasn't the usual dominant Yuta but a new type of Yuta who obviously wanted to savor the moment. He kissed every inch of her body, touched her in places he hadn't explored before. She can feel him getting hard inside her and she realized how much self-control he was harnessing to not ruck her mercilessly. "Yuta." She called, threading their fingers together. "Your dad is probably waiting for us." 

He laughed at that, kissing her on the lips. "He can wait." 

"I can't." She whined. "Please be rough on me." His hips faltered for a while, gazing at her with a questioning gaze that made her nod. "Yuta, I miss when you fuck me hard so…" but her sentence isn't finished when he started thrusting into her in an inhumane speed that made her shout his name. 

"Oh fuck!" he cursed, still fucking her real hard that the mattress was squeaking in protest. Why is he so fucking turned on when she shouted rather than moaning her name? And why does he like it when she's raking his back with her sharp nails? "You want this baby?" he asked and she nodded, feeling the heat in her stomach. "You're getting close. Should I make you cum?" she shouted a muffle yes that made him rub her clit for added pleasure. 

Her moans resonated throughout the room urging the guy to fuck her senseless on the mattress. "Aaah. Yuta," she shouted, clawing his back at the wave of orgasm splashing to her. (Y/N)'s pussy was so sensitive at the sudden orgasm but he abused it by keeping his thrusts that made her wet once again. Fuck, if this continues on they'll definitely have sex like when they were in Paris. Yuta didn't disappoint as always, staying hard until she came and blowing off his load on her stomach. He started licking his mess, slurping every semen, and tongue touching every part of her naked body. He started eating her, tongue fucking her brains out for the second orgasm. 

He rolled beside her, breathing heavily. "You're so bad at quickies, Yuta." The guy had to chuckle at that, pulling her closer then kissing her once again. The girl giggled when he hovered above her once again, grinning at him. "Let's go and meet your dad." 

"Say it again." 

"Let's go and meet your dad?" But he shook his head, putting on weight when she tried to escape him. Her hands cupped his cheeks, smiling sweetly at him. "I love you, Yuta Nakamoto." 

"Marry me, (Y/N)." 

She giggled at that, holding his shoulder. "That's why we need to meet your dad. Let's see if he wants me as his daughter-in-law." 

Yuta laughed, lying on the bed as she sat up and picked up her bra to fix herself. "I think I'm the happiest guy alive. I can die today, you know?" 

(Y/N) smiled then picked up her underwear and dress. "Don't die yet." She teased kissing him. "I still want you as the father of my son." She announced while heading to the bathroom. 

That's it, Yuta thought, if someone could die of too much happiness that would be him now. Is she still the same (Y/N)? Why is she so confident now? How can she shake him up like this now?

--

The difference between (Y/N) in the hotel room and the (Y/N) standing beside Yuta is so huge that it seemed comical now. He slipped his hand on hers, holding her reassuringly. "He'll love you, baby." She gave an acknowledging smile, holding his arm as the elevator doors open to the restaurant if the hotel. 

Yuta talked to the receptionist and they were directed to a table where a man was already seated. The first thing in her mind is that he does resemble Yuta, their eyes are the same. And when he grinned at their way, she found out where her boyfriend got his lovely smile. The younger casually greeted his dad as if they had always seen each other. They spoke in Japanese and she cursed herself for not studying basic conversations in Japanese. 

He introduced her as his 'kanojo' and she had watched too many anime to know that it means girlfriend in Japanese. "You're yeppeo." The older said in English and Korean that made her breathe in relief. "I'm sorry, I'm not good at Korean." Well, this will be a struggle. 

The three were seated and she wondered why there are four plates and four chairs. The two started conversing in Japanese so she didn't get the chance to ask Yuta about the additional person. He held her hand above the table which made her glance at him. "Are you okay?" She nodded, lightly staring at his dad who was just watching them while smiling. "Let's just wait for my stepmom." 

Stepmom? Does Yuta have a stepmom? He didn't mention that he has a stepmom. "Dad said she's pregnant so she comes to the restroom a lot. Do you want to eat first?" She shook her head. His stepmother is pregnant? Then Yuta is going to have a sibling soon. She might see another side of her boyfriend when he meets his baby sibling. 

If she gets pregnant, then his sibling and his child would be almost the same age. That will be cute. At least she'll know that her child will have a friend. Now, she wonders what Yuta's stepmom looks like. 

"You look good together." His dad commented in English while staring at the two of them. Yuta just smiled, running his thumb on the back of her hand. "Here she is." 

Yuta quickly stood up and (Y/N) wondered if she should do the same. The clutch bag fell under the table when she adjusted her dress that she had to pick it up, hearing Yuta introducing her to his stepmom. (Y/N) quickly stood up in panic and thought that she might get dizzy from the sudden movement. 

She blinked in surprise when she faced the woman he called his stepmom. A classy lady wearing a pearl earring and red lipstick. A lady in a silver dress with a bulging stomach to show that she's pregnant even at her age. If she didn't get dizzy earlier, she might be dizzy now. She bit her lip to prevent a word to escape her mouth. "(Y/N)?" And time stopped that she thought they're the only ones in the room. 

Is this why she left? Why does she look so well? Why do they have to meet like this? "You know each other?" Yuta asked and a choked sob escaped her lips. Why does it have to be like this? "(Y/N), are you okay?" 

"I'm sorry, Yuta." She mumbled, moving past him and outside the restaurant. Before the elevator door could close, Yuta held her hand asking what's wrong. Of all the whys running in her mind, there's only one sentence that made her heart hurt.

"Why does it have to be you?"

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️❤️

Chapter 21 / Chapter 23

Hi. If you reach this part, I would like to thank you for reading my work. I also would like to apologize since this is my first time reading a chapter I posted and realized that there are some parts that seemed out of place or some typing errors. I'm really sorry, I should have checked my work before posting. I'm really sorry and thank you for understanding.

🐼

[futurebicon]

Family Skate Through The Years

2021

“Heads” Sirius called like always. Dumo called tails.

“Heads” Finn announced as he turned over the coin in his hand. “Siri-”

“Remus” Sirius chose before Finn could finish talking.

“No!” Dumo shouted.

“Sorry Pascal, but he’s my boyfriend” Sirius smirked, kissing Remus when he skated over.

“Kasey” Dumo chose.

“Good, Loops can beat him again”

“I’m not letting him score this year” Kasey demanded.

“James” Sirius picked.

Remus got 2 goals. Each time pissing Kasey off more and more. He was skating down the ice beside Sirius, waiting for a pass. 

Sirius passed it to him, letting him score with ease for the third time. Sirius skated over and pulled their helmets off, kissing him hard as Kasey continued to yell that it wasn’t fair.

2022

“Heads”

“Tails”

“Tails”

“No” Sirius stomped his skate against the ice.

“Sorry Cap. I’m stealing your fiancé” Dumo patted him on the shoulder.

“Se dévisser“ Sirius shrugged him off. 

“Sorry baby” Remus kissed the pout off his face before going over to Dumos side.

Dumos team won. Sirius had chosen Kasey, Dumo had let him. His anger had become a new tradition. 

“Good job baby” Remus kissed him.

“You too, l’amour”

“You got the venue yet?” Lily asked them as they ate.

“No” They both answered.

“Why not” she whined.

“Because it’s stupid.” Sirius said as he shoved cake into his mouth. Remus nodded in agreement.

“What’s stupid?” James asked as the rest of the team came over.

“These two think it’s stupid to pick a place to get married at”

“What?” Everyone let out sounds of confusion.

“We didn’t say that” Remus rolled his eyes. “We just think it’s stupid to make a big deal out of it.”

“Lily, you and I are taking over wedding planning. Nat and Dumo you’re helping too” Celeste announced. Those named nodded in agreement.

“But it’s where you’ll get married. That’s a big deal” Finn pointed his fork at them.

“Fine, we’ll pick a place.” Sirius said. “Kasey pick a place.”

“The Zoo”

“Perfect, our weddings at the zoo. See, settled.” Remus nodded. 

“No” Dumo told them.

“Olli pick a place” Remus called down the table.

“Here” 

“Great idea” Sirius clapped his hands together. 

“That’s actually a pretty good idea. You’ve already picked your best mans. And your ring bearer and flower girls.” Nat nodded.

“See, done” Remus took a bite of cake.

“Oh my god” Dumo put his head in his hands and shook his head.

“Wait so it’s not at the zoo?” Kasey asked.

“No babe”

“Aww man”

2023

“Heads” Dumo called out before Sirius could call it.

“No” Sirius scowled. 

“Tails” Finn told them.

“Haha, thank you Dumo” Sirius smirked. “Re” 

Remus skated over and kissed his husband before standing behind him and wrapping an arm around his shoulder. Picking all of the newly engaged Cubs. 

Remus got 4 goals under Kasey this year. 

“C'est quoi ce bordel“ He shouted after the fourth one went in the net. “No, no, no” He groaned. 

“4 goals? Damn” Sirius smiled.

“Think it’s newly weds luck?” Remus smirked. 

“Hmm, probably” Sirius kissed him. 

The wedding had been 2 weeks ago, they wanted to get married quickly and would go on their honeymoon in the offseason.

2024

“Fizzy” Sirius called over to the bench. “Heads or tails?” He asked his 2 year old daughter, Felicity.

“Tails” she shouted with a giggle.

“Tails” Finn turned over the quarter.

“Thank you Fizzy” Sirius smiled at her. “Re”

“You’ve gotten him for 2 years in a row.” Dumo whined. “Let me have him”

“He’s my husband, Dumo. Too bad”

Dumo rolled his eyes.

Remus got 2 goals in. Dumos team got 1.

“Good job, baby” Remus kissed him with a smile, keeping up with tradition.”

“Good job Daddy ‘n Papa” Felicity clapped as she skated a little wobbly over to them. Even though they had only adopted her at the beginning of the year she fell in love with skating and made Sher parents teach her every night for months.

“Thank you Fizzy” Remus scooped her up. Kissing her cheek as he tickled her stomach, causing her to shriek with laughter.

Sirius smiled at his little family and pecked Remus’s lips.

“Fizzy, no.” Sirius pulled her hand away as she tried to reach for her cake. “I know it’s good but you have to eat your lunch first.”

She whined but ate the bite of ham Sirius held in front of her as she sat in his lap.

“You guys any closer to have one of these soon?” Remus asked the newly wedded Cubs as he ruffled his daughters brown hair.

“Trying too. But, you know it’s pretty hard when you’re gay and being poly doesn’t help at all. Plus with our schedule with games and practices...” Logan trailed off sadly.

Leo kissed his temple as Finn squeezed his hand. Logan loves kids and the team knew how much he wanted a few of his own.

The team hated that they had told them they actually started the adoption process while they were engaged so that they could adopt a kid very soon after they got married but haven’t gotten anywhere with it.

“If any agency’s reject you they’ll be attacked by the best team in the NHL and their fans” Sirius told them. It had happened when they were going through the adoption process and were rejected for ‘being sinners’ as the rejection paper told them.

“You’ll have a kid of your own soon enough” Remus promised.

“New friend?” Fizzy gasped with a wide smile as she picked on bits and peices of the conversation.

“Yeah, Fiz. You’ll have a new friend soon” Finn told her. All of them smiling at her innocence as she cheered and took a final bite of mac-and-cheese.

“Cake now?” She asked Sirius with puppy eyes.

“Yes you can have cake now” Sirius smiled as he kissed her cheek.

2025

“Heads” Sirius called out.

“Tails” Finn smirked.

“Haha, Remus” Dumo chose.

Remus kissed him. “Should of stuck with Fizzy’s answer” he smirked, earning an eye roll from his husband.

“Kasey” Sirius picked.

“I’m not letting him score this year.”

“You’ve been saying that for the last 5 years babe” Nat kissed his cheek.

“Well I mean it this year.”

He didn’t mean it, Remus got 2 goals in.

“Yay” Fizzy cheered as her and her basically cousins skated out onto the ice to congratulate or comfort their parents.

4 year old Harry was scooped up by Lily and laughed at James who was pouting at his lose.

Jay, the Cubs 2 year old son was scooped up by Logan and kissed on the cheek by Finn and Leo. Jay clapped at their win.

“It’s so sad” Dumo sighed at lunch.

“What is?” Remus asked as he took a bite of salad.

“Sirius was that closed off stern faced 18 year old skating God that feels like my son. You were that PT that came out of nowhere that we really didn’t know much about but then the team all just kind of accepted as one of our own. Logan was a loud, obnoxious rookie that we all still loved, living in my basement and who is also like a son to me. Finn was the red haired semi nerdy boy who screamed and punched the air when Logan was drafted to the Lions. Leo was the tallest rookie I’d ever seen, a little shy but still fun to be a round. And James was- still is the loud, insane, mind of a 5 year old player.” He said.

“And now I look around and all of you have kids and are married to the loves of your lives” Everyone was crying at the words.

“And it just makes me feel really fucking old” he sighed.

“Oh my god Dumo.” Logan laughed as he wiped his tears away.

“You give this tear jerking long speech about us just to end it by saying it only makes you sad because it makes you feel old? Wow glad to see you have your priorities straight, Pascal” Sirius shook his head.

“I does” he laughed.

“It is crazy though” Finn sighed.

“Did you two think 8 years ago that this would be your life?” Lily asked Sirius and Remus. “Best player in the NHL with a team that’s your family. First openly gay couple in the NHL. Married to the teams PT and teams Captain. And have an adorable daughter?”

“God no, never in a million years.” Sirius’s smiled at his husband and daughter. Kissing Remus and then their daughters head.

“And you three” She looked at the Cubs. “Ever think that you’d be playing for one of the best teams in the NHL. “Married to 2 people. One of them the man that you loved for 8 years but never said anything. And have an adorable son.”

“Never” Finn smiled kissing both his husbands and son like Sirius had done.

“Okay. Enough of the sappy stuff.” Celeste said a few seconds later, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Who wants cake?”

This is longer then I planned but I like how it turned out.

@lumosinlove

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

If You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 8

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

A/N: I really wanted to write Sonny and conflict with his family in Transgender Bridge so this chapter includes transphobia via his mom and then talk about past homo- and transphobia in Sonny. I think Sonny’s acceptance of things is really interesting, especially given he seems like he’s from a traditional/conservative family. 

June  2015

“Hey, doll. Can we wait and do dinner? I know it’s an anniversary dinner, but this was a bad one.” She didn’t like how his voice sounded. He’d been keeping her in the loop, and there’d been a spirited, to say the least, discussion at the Carisi family dinner that Sunday. His mom had fought him regarding Avery, a transgender teenager, over the phone. The case had been everywhere it felt like, and the traditional Carisis felt that Avery wanted attention. Sonny, for his part, was confused, but between Amanda and Victoria’s reminders he didn’t know a single guy who would wear a dress for no reason, he’d come to realize it wasn’t a choice, just like being gay, straight, or bi.

It was hard for him sometimes. Despite the fact Victoria had always been open and accepting, a result of her mother’s influence and LGBT family members, Sonny was raised that all of it was wrong in the eyes of God. That said, as he grew, he saw how much harder it was for Victoria’s aunts. It started to dawn on him that he didn’t choose to want to be in his body or be attracted to women. Why would he assume someone woke up and chose something that didn’t make their lives easier? He also came to believe that God did make them exactly as they were, and human influence had bastardized the love everyone part of His message. When he stood up to his mother, Victoria was pleased to see the growth in him; usually, he’d have let it lie. 

“Of course it can wait. What happened?”

“She died,” he said, voice tight. “The boy that pushed her is being tried as an adult, but Tor, her parents don’t want it. He’s just a kid. He even drew her this comic apologizing. He got scared because she was different.”

She knew what he wasn’t saying. As good as Sonny was, as much as he’d grown, they’d both been easily influenced at one point. When they grew up, it was easy to get swept into easy homophobia and transphobia. Sonny had said things she knew he regretted as he learned more, and they both knew how easy it would’ve been for him to get swept up in the crowd at that age, trying to prove he was tough and manly and straight.

“How about I pick up the pizza ya like? We can stay in? I’ll tell ma I don’t feel good. I don’t think that visit is what you need right now.”

“Thank you.” They said their I love yous, and she quickly scheduled pick up for the pizza and tucked his favorite treats from the cooler into a box. When she got home, she straightened up the apartment and threw his favorite pajamas in the dryer so they’d be warm when he got home. One pizza and beer run later, Sonny came through the door, and he was visibly exhausted. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, taking his coat. 

“You pajamas are in the dryer.” He let out a grateful groan, changing into them before coming back and dropping onto the couch, arms out over the back. She sat beside him, handing him a beer and opting to sit in silence as he nursed it. Her Sonny was a big softy, but she also knew he’d talk about things when he was ready; that was a change she could rely on. He wrapped his arm around her, caging her against his chest as he laid back. His eyes were closed, but his brow was heavy and his mouth set in a frown. Carefully, she smoothed his hair, and he pressed into her hand. 

“Thank you,” he said, his voice barely audible. 

“Any time. Thank you for telling me what you needed.” He nodded, rubbing her back. 

“I saw a pink box.”

“It’s an assortment. I got all your favorites. And the pizzas.”

“I love you so fucking much.”

“I’ll call ma tomorrow to get us out of going there. It’s just you and me all weekend, okay?” 

He nodded gently, cheek pressed against her forehead. This case didn’t sit well, and in this moment he was deeply grateful not to be the ADA for this case. He understood logically where they were coming from, but he was also acutely aware of how little Avery’s parents agreed with trying Darius as an adult. Their daughter believed in forgiveness, and he was a kid. His colleagues liked to pretend they’d always been the cops they are now, but Sonny remembered being sheltered and ignorant. If Victoria hadn’t been there to tear him a new asshole when he was 13 and started using slurs he didn’t fully understand, he could have gotten swept up in this type of accident. Lord knew his mother didn’t think this case was anything but bad luck for the boy. She thought Avery had finally gotten the attention she wanted. That had set him off at dinner, and he swore Mia was proud of him, sitting by Victoria as he defended where this may have been coming from.

Sonny, God made him a him. He doesn’t make mistakes.

Or, ma, maybe all those things you like to call trials? Maybe transitioning and dealing with this kind of ignorance is a part of her trial. No teenage boy would wear a dress if it weren’t real. Avery is a girl, and if you can remember Aunt Rhonda’s new name every year when she gets married again, you can at least call Avery she.

I’m just saying, any of my grandkids pull that, we’ll be taking them somewhere. That’s attention seeking behavior, and needs to be taken care of.

If Victoria and I’s child ever comes out and you are anything but supportive, you will not be a part of their life.

You can’t do that. I’m your mother.

I don’t know ma. Making your own blood feel less than? Sounds like real attention seekin’ behavior to me. Needs to be taken care of.

He let Victoria guide him to the car afterwards, but he hadn’t cancelled the next family dinner. Knowing Avery had died? He couldn’t do it. Meeting her had taken a logical belief that trans people were the gender they identified as and made it more serious. He’d known his mother felt that way, but he’d never heard her articulate it like this. Before the separation and therapy, he’d have bottled up how wrong she was, tucked it away to keep the peace. Now? He couldn’t do it.

“Thank you, Tor. For all of this. And for calling her. I’m still so angry.”

“I know, Dom. I love you.”

“I love you too. And I meant what I told her. If our kid is gay or trans or something else that exists that I’m sure I don’t know about, I don’t care. They’re our baby and I’ll love them and I’ll take them to whatever store to get whatever they need or whatever doctor. I’ll beat the ever living shit out of anyone who makes them feel like they're wrong for how God made them.”

“You’re going to be an amazing father.”

“That should be the bare minimum though, shouldn’t it? Loving your kids no matter what?”

“It should. But that can be hard, you know? Like your mom. She exists in that really conservative vacuum. I’m proud of you for changing when you learn about things, not ignoring it and doubling down.”

“That means a lot, doll. People act like I’m supposed to have been born knowing. Our priest was open minded, and I met you. Otherwise, I may not have turned out like this. And that was scary to realize?”

“Bella, Theresa, and Gina all did it too. You’d all have grown.”

“What if our kid is gay or somethin?”

“We’ll love them. If your mom can’t handle it, we’ll keep them from her.”

“You mean it?”

“Yeah. we’ll get close to my family or something. Or have holidays with Amanda and Liv.”

“Good,” he murmured. “I wouldn’t want to, but I won’t subject them to their grandma actin’ like that. The world is so shitty. I want family to be supportive.”

“I know. We’ll be okay. And who knows? Maybe you snapping makes her reevaluate. I had to yell at you to make you start reevaluating things. We didn’t talk for awhile month. That’s years in thirteen year old time.”

“True,” he chuckled, rubbing her back. “One can only hope. You’d have liked Avery. Into photography and comics.”

“She sounds awful cool.”

“She was. And she was so kind. Like she was hurt, but the last thing she did was forgive him, Tor. Can you imagine? He drew her a comic, and she forgave him. Then she died.” He was facing the ceiling with his eyes closed as he talked. 

“Do you want me to be there?”

“Maybe come by at lunch?”

“I’ll be there, okay?”

“Thank you, Doll.”

“Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling.” 

@cycat4077 @fear-less-write-more

[leah-halliwell92]

Meet the Family

Here ya go Nonny!

Request: Present day roger Taylor and young x reader Smutty You choose scenario

It’s the night before the concert in your hometown. You hadn’t been super excited to be back but you took it in stride since you were convinced to come see the show by Adam and the gents. You hadn’t though it a bad idea at the time, take a few days out of your vacation time to see Queen + Adam Lambert in concert...low key scratching off a Queen Concert from your bucket list.

What had you semi-second guessing if you should have come at all was the call from your mother telling you to come over for dinner and to, “Bring your beau.” You made a mental note to stick a rod in your brother’s ass for being a snitch but decided against it. While your family knew you were dating, they didn’t know who.

You’d arrived to Roger’s room to a warm welcome from your dear boyfriend and a promise of fun later that night and into the morn. There was nothing else you wanted to do but knew that going to your parents’ house needed to happen considering you’d been putting it off since you and Rog started dating nearly eight months ago.

“(Brother’s name) blew the whistle on me and told my parents I’m in town,” you’d told him as you lounged on his bed earlier in the day.

“What’s so bad about going to see your parents?” Roger asked with a furrowed brow, “Is it...me?”

“No!” You said loudly, “It could never be you. You make me happy you daft grumpy Santa.”

He snorted at the nickname and pulled you close before asking, “Then what’s all the hubbub with them?”

“My family’s and I quote, “Well bred and blue collard”, meaning well educated rich bigots that think they’re entitled to all because they’ve gotten a better education than the rest,” you say with a sigh.

“You always told me you came from the high standing sort,” Roger said now understanding why it was that you never mentioned going to your family.

You nod and say, “I went to school for ballet originally. Mother made it that way...despite my wanting to go into history.”

“You wanted to study history?” He asked in astonishment not having known this before.

You nod with a soft smile and say, “I wanted to go into European history and go into teaching. Mother thought I needed something that and I quote, “Fits your station dear not something as mundane as teache”.

“And your dad?”

“Father is all about the boys,” you said with a sigh, “I may be his youngest but he’s made it very clear what he thinks of women as a gender. If you were to ask him to his face he’d say my place is in the home to care after the man I married.”

“That–”

“Barbaric and outdated I know,” you say with a laugh, “But on one hand I could go into ballet and perhaps modeling and work or be some asshole’s wife.”

“Tonight’s dinner is going to be interesting isn’t it?” He asks with an edge in his voice.

“Yup,” you say with a neutral grin.

Fast forward to the car ride on your way to your parents’, you were not having second thoughts per say. You just weren’t expecting anything positive to come from this but hoped...hoped that it wouldn’t end as bad as you thought it would.

“We don’t have to do this,” Roger said reassuringly patting your thigh tenderly.

“Yea we do,” you said with a sigh, “If we don’t mother’s hounding will know no bounds. Plus...I’ve put this off long enough. You have a right to meet and know where I come from.”

He nodded in understanding and made sure to grab your hand in his giving it a reassuring squeeze.

You made it to your parents’ with one last cleansing breath got out taking the wine bottle Roger had the idea to bring out with you as Roger waited for you on your side of the car.

“Ready?” He asked.

“No...but I have you so yes,” you say honestly and grin at him after he presses a a kiss to your forehead.

You go up the steps and knock on the door.

The door opened to reveal your brother who smiled warmly at you before looking at Roger clearly in shock that he was there at all.

You passed the wine bottle to Roger before going to your brother and slapping him upside the head.

“You are a moron,” you hiss at him.

“What did I do!?” He asked rubbing at his head where you hit him.

“You told mother I’d be in town!? And you expect me to just take it!” You tell him ready to hit him a second time.

“What! It’s not like you were going to visit,” he muttered.

“We won’t know now will we? You took that choice away from me,” you say your voice going cold, “Next time you come to me to cover your ass when Joyce asks me where you are I’ll let her know you’re with Irving.”

His eyes widened to the size of saucers, “You wouldn’t...”

“Like hell I wouldn’t,” you say seriously, “It’s not the first time you’ve strung me up to dry so why should me getting even be a surprise to you?”

You took your coat of and helped Roger with his putting them both on the coat rack.

“Now that we have an understanding may I introduce to you Roger Taylor,” you say motioning to Rog, “Rog this is (brother’s name).”

“Nice to meet you Mr. Taylor and may I say I’m a huge fan,” your brother said shaking Roger’s hand before turning to you a sheepish look on his face and saying, “I’m sorry for telling mother about you being town, she’s been badgering me to hand you over before she tells Joyce what she thinks is the truth.”

You sigh and roll your eyes.

“Before you get anymore confused,” you told Roger in a whisper, “Joyce is (B/N) therapist, Irving is his partner. Neither of our parents know he’s gay.”

Roger’s eyes widen at that and nods in understanding.

“Joyce doesn’t know about Vin,” (B/N) said with a sigh, “I wanted to make sure he and I were in a good place and stable before going for a couple’s session.”

You nod in understanding knowing where he was coming from.

“By the looks of it is part of why you only visit once a year,” he says with a knowing grin.

“You’d visit once a year if you could you ass,” you said with a laugh as he pulled you into a warm hug.

“(Y/N) is that you!?” Your mother called from the kitchen.

“Naaaa, its the fuckin Easter Bunny,” your brother mumbled causing Roger to crack a half grin.

He liked your brother already.

You greeted your mother with a hug and kiss before pulling away a smile on her face, “It’s about time my baby comes home for a visit.”

You smile at your mother and nod before being pulled into another hug.

You pulled away and met your father’s gaze.

“Welcome home (Y/N),” he said before pulling you into a warm hug.

This shocked you and your brother. Your father had never been the most affectionate of people to either of you so for him to pull you into a hug was a huge thing.

“Everything alright little bird?” he asked you tenderly.

You nod still in shock of what was going on.

Your mother bustled and turned to Roger, “And you are?”

“Mother this is Roger Taylor...my boyfriend,” you said after giving yourself a mental shake.

“Boyfriend?” Your mother said with a shaky smile.

You nod enthusiastically and make your way to Rog’s side resisting the urge to slip your hand into the crook of his arm.

“Nice to meet you Mr. and Mrs. (Y/L/N),” Roger said extending his hand for them to shake.

Your father gave him a stiff nod but shook his hand whilst your mother turned from the group and made her way into the dining room.

“Is this why you avoided coming home for us to meet him?” Your father asked voice hard.

“Yes and no,” you say honestly. 

Roger knew the reasons why and wondered how long it would take your parents to figure them out.

“Don’t expect me to explain father,” you said standing your ground, “you know very well why.”

Your father’s eyes widened at this. Whether at your audacity of your tone or the fact that you made it clear you weren’t the type of woman to just take it.

Before your father could say anything else you mother called out, “Good thing I invited Charlie over for dinner.”

“Fuuuuck,” you said with a sigh.

“I told you not to invite him dear,” your father said, surprising you and your brother even more, as he made his way into the dinning room.

Your mother didn’t even bother whispering when she said, “I’m more than glad I invited him. By the looks of it Charlie needs to be here and make sure they get back together.

“He dumped him for cheating mother!” Your brother yelled as he threw his coat on.

“Well she should have looked the other way! It’s not as if she was trying to keep him happy as she should have,” your mother walked to quaint smile on her face to be greeted by Roger putting on his coat before passing you your scarf and helping you finish put your coat on.

“Where are you all going?” She asked.

“Enjoy Charlie’s company mother,” you say coldly and turned to the door without a second thought ignoring your mother’s protests as you went.

“(Y/N),” your father called.

You turned to him ready to refute whatever he was about to say when he shocked you by saying, “If you can, let’s meet at the restaurant that’s in your hotel and bring Roger. I’d– I’d like to catch up...please.”

“Here’s the address, if what you say it’s true then join us for breakfast,” Roger said voice hard.

Your father nodded solemnly and went up into the house ignoring his wife’s questions of if he managed to get them back for dinner.

You and Roger went into town with your brother for a private dinner before you promised to keep in touch with each other.

The following morning, as promised you met up with your father for breakfast where some of the air was cleared and mutual olive branches passed. And a promise of weekly calls was made. The topic of your mother was brought up, but you made it clear that if she couldn’t accept or at least pretend and civil towards Roger then there was nothing to be done. 

That is how your brother and parents went to a Queen concert your mother slumped in a chair in the audience still in denial that her only daughter chose a rockstar of all things to attach herself to.

[yourdeepestfathoms]

uroboros, the eternal return (part two)

foster AU.

TW: Mentioned/implied child abuse, violence

——————

-Freezing the Viper’s Venom-

Joan used to draw a lot. She was good at drawing, she liked to think, as it was sometimes the only thing she was allowed to do when locked in her rooms.

But now her sketchbook was filled with drawings of Them. The family that almost gave her everything.

Even after she fucked it all up, the Greene’s, the seventh family, still remained her favorite fosters. Her time with them and the end she met taught her something very valuable:

Don’t get comfortable.

Joan brushes her fingertips over Mrs. Greene’s pencil-shaded face and thought back to how she actually looked in person. Chocolate brown hair with natural curls at the tips, warm honey eyes, pearly white teeth, broad shoulders. She kinda looked like a porcupine that worked in criminal justice.

Joan found herself giggling a little. She didn’t know why, but she had a habit of comparing others to animals. Not even her newest family could escape it- Jane looked like a white tiger and Katherine kinda looked like an otter.

But Mrs. Greene! She was so kind and so sweet. She treated Joan as if she were her biological daughter and not just a foster. Joan thought they were gonna adopt her.

In the end, though, she ruined it all.

But it wasn’t her fault! Not really, anyway... The baby was just crying so loud and Joan couldn’t handle the wailing anymore because the party had already been noisy enough. She hadn’t meant to lash out like she did, really!

Most of what happened was a blur, but she remembered all the screaming, the horrid, annoying shrieks of the baby, someone shoving her, the blood underneath her fingernails.

   “Mum should lock you up for what you did,” One of her brothers at the time had told her, staring at her as if she were a demon loosed from hell, “She is a lawyer. She can probably do that. You should be in an asylum.”

Those words never left Joan. They taunted her constantly.

Ever since then, she’s tried harder to reign things in. She stamps down her emotions, bottling them up and not worrying about a possible breaking point.

If she snapped again, it would be disastrous.

Joan blinked away the remnants of the past and shook her head. She tucked away the sketchbook and walked downstairs to get ready to leave for school. Jane smiled warmly from the kitchen when she saw her.

   “Good morning, love,” The woman chirped, “Breakfast’s almost ready. Oh, also, there’s a baby shower happening at my parent’s house this evening. You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

Joan tensed for a moment, but she relaxed a little when she got an option. However, the thought of being alone in such an unfamiliar place (it’s only been seven days, she’s still getting used to the house) scared her and she felt like she would disappoint Jane even more if she didn’t go, so she nodded.

   “No, it’s okay,” She said quickly, “I-I can go.”

Jane looked a little surprised, but smiled nonetheless.

   “Wonderful!”

Joan was slightly startled when one of Jane’s hands rubbed against the top of head. She flinched, recoiling backwards a little.

   “Oh, I apologize!” Jane drew her hand back, “I should have known you wouldn’t like being touched.”

Joan blinked multiple times. It didn’t hurt. She didn’t get hurt when she was touched. Why? What made it not hurt? Usually adults only wanted to harm her. And why wasn’t she that scared? She’s always frightened when touched without warning, but...

She reached up to her head, tentatively touching the area of contact and expecting a welt, a bruise, a gash, at least blood but...nothing. She looked up at Jane, and tapped lightly, unable to get words out (which is honestly humiliating but nothing she can do about it). Jane furrowed her eyebrows.

   “But I thought-”

Joan tapped more, so Jane put her hand back on her head, rubbing gently, so gently.

Joan held perfectly still, pressing into the touch. She was trying to understand the sensation rolling over her. Happiness? Love? Comfort? Those were not things she was very familiar with.

Wasn’t touch bad? Touch usually left her hurt, bleeding, in pain. But Jane’s touch...Jane’s touch didn’t cause any of that at all. In fact, it made her feel less hurt.

   “Are you okay, sweetie?” Jane looked down at the girl, worry shining in her eyes. “You look a little out of it. Do you need to sit down?”

She was concerned, too. Like, actually concerned about her.

Joan shook her head and finally pulled back. The feeling whisked away like that and she couldn’t help but feel cold (not the usual cold she always felt because she’s always cold). This was a sense of longing.

   “Sorry,” She whispered, the embarrassment of the situation finally filtering in.

   “There’s nothing to be sorry about.” Jane assured her, “Now, how about breakfast?”

—————

     “You’re really good at piano, kiddo,” The student teacher in Joan’s piano class said after the bell rang, “Much better than most people here.” She titters lightly and it makes her pale green shimmer.

   “Thanks,” Joan said shyly, battling her useless gay feelings.

   “You know, you should sign up for Fall Fest coming up,” The student teacher suddenly suggested and her eyes glimmer again, “To, like, play! Wouldn’t that be fun? Playing creepy music and scaring the uptight rich little kids who come to get free candy from the school?”

It honestly really did sound fun. Joan never liked kids.

   “Yeah,” Joan nodded. “It does.”

   “I’ll give you a flyer!”

She padded over to a cabinet and pulled out a paper. That’s when Joan noticed a container filled with beautiful quills that she couldn’t take her eyes off of for some reason. The student teacher noticed Joan eyeing them and grinned at her.

   “Would you like one, kiddo?”

Joan nodded shyly without even thinking about saying now.

   “Here, let me get my-”

   “No no, put that away,” The student teacher said when she went to grab her wallet.

Joan stopped, tilting her head. She didn’t want payment?

   “Think of it as a gift! Trust me, kid, you don’t need to pay me back for a pen.”

Joan gave a little nod.

   “Alright, give me a second,” The student teacher pokes through the container before holding a few pens out.

A brilliant, fuzzy emerald feather with swirls and sparks of aquamarine and sapphire, an iridescent thin wing, a large leaf-shade design with silvery indents, a fire-gradient quill, and one with an intricate interlacing metal design.

   “The art class made these and had a lot of spares. At first I thought they went a little overboard, but they’re actually really nice. You can pick the one that catches your fancy.” The student teacher said.

Joan stared down at the various options, glancing back up at the older girl a few times. Which one did she want her to take? What if it was a test? Would something happen to her if she chose the wrong one?”

   “You don’t like any of them?”

No, she liked the one with the greens and blues. It reminded her of dragon scales.

   “Choose whatever you like!”

She really got to choose?

   “Go ahead, don’t be shy!” The student teacher encouraged patiently. “Pick any one that you want.”

What she wants? She really gets to choose?

Joan tentatively reached out and took the green-blue pen, glancing up at the student teacher to make sure it was absolutely okay.

   “Good choice!” The older girl beamed, “I hope the pen works to your liking. Tell me if it doesn’t work.”

Joan stared at the item, slowly taking out her wallet back out. Surely, she wanted some kind of payment. She couldn’t give out something this beautiful for free.

   “No no, I said put that away!” The student teacher huffed, “This is a gift. You don’t have to give me anything, I promise.”

Oh.

Joan nodded and the student teacher was grinning again.

   “Maybe you can use it to write your own sheet music.”

   “Maybe,” Joan hummed, “Thank you so much.”

   “No problem!”

—

     At lunch Joan actually finds herself beaming as she presents the quill to Maria. They take turns poking each other and brushing over each other’s skin with the soft feather. Joan feels happy.

—————

     On the ride to Jane’s parent’s house Joan plays with the quill to distract herself and calm her nerves. She ruffled and glided her fingers through the colorful fringes, watching them bend into new positions at her touch. It was pleasing.

However, she wasn’t quite sure if a feather would be enough to stabilize her once they got to the house.

Upon entering, Joan was instantly spoken to by an older woman with greying blonde hair. She hugs her, which Joan dislikes a lot, but Jane separates them quickly.

   “Be gentle, mum,” Jane said, “She’s shy.”

   “Right, of course!” The older woman nodded, “Hello, love. I’m Margery, your new grandma.”

Joan wrinkled her nose. She didn’t like when people gave themselves those titles- not this soon, at least.

   “Hi,” She said softly. “I’m Joan.”

   “Jane’s told me a lot about you,” Margery continued, “Everyone’s been dying to meet you! I’ll introduce you to them!”

Joan wanted to resist so badly, but she really didn’t have a choice, so she let the old woman drag her all around the house.

During dinner, the conversations pressed onto Joan became more abundant, as people wanted to talk to her right as she put something in her mouth. She looked up at the relatives sitting at her table with a confused expression, swallowing quickly so she could answer whatever they asked.

She was being smothered and she hated it. She kept glancing around for Jane or Katherine, but there were a lot of people at this stupid baby shower, and it seemed like everyone was paying more attention to her than the expecting mother.

The moment Joan thought she got a second to breathe, someone approached her. It was a boy, slightly younger but had a bad aura around him. He looked like a mangy coyote.

   “Oh, so you’re Jane’s new plus one.” He said, eyeing Joan up and down.

   “I guess,” Joan said, “Who are you?”

   “Francis,” Francis told her as if she should have known that, “Don’t bother telling me your name. You won’t be staying long anyway.”

Joan furrowed her eyebrows and snapped to full attention.

   “What?”

   “Hm? You actually think Jane wants to keep you?” Francis laughed loudly, “Have you seen yourself? I’ve just met you and I already hate being around you.”

His words are venom in Joan’s ears. Her already impossibly low self-esteem is getting drilled further into the ground the longer he speaks.

   “Besides, fosters usually aren’t kept around. Katherine just got lucky. That only happens sometimes.”

Joan’s breathing started to quicken. If Francis noticed, he didn’t seem to care.

   “I’m just stating what we’re all thinking. You don’t belong here. This is not your home.”

Joan shoves him. The anxiety and fear has turned to anger. It burns and bubbles in her veins and she needed to release it.

   “You stupid fuck.” Francis hissed, only to have his threat be hollow when Joan punches him square in the nose. The sickening crunch and cracking sounds are almost as loud as his howls of pain.

   “You bitch! You little bitch!” He shrieked.

Joan felt like she could finally ease up, as that made her feel way better, but Francis didn’t seem to be ready to drop this all. Apparently a broken nose only fuels his unknown hatred towards her.

His bloodied hands go for her throat and she panics, slashing her nails across his face. His grip hooks in her hair and her forehead smashes with his knee. Stars burst around Joan and she topples backwards as people in the house start to yell. In front of her, Francis is pawing at his eyes and cheeks, yowling like a dying animal, and Joan takes this as a chance to practically leap onto him like an angry leopard.

After around three hits, someone grabs Joan and yanks her off of Francis. She tensed up at the sudden touch and then jerked away, bolting out the door.

Tears blurred Joan’s already hazy vision as she ran out the backyard and into the woods behind the property. Her breath comes out in heavy gasps and her lungs start to burn, but she pushes on, wanting nothing more than to get away from the humiliation she just put herself in.

She should have known. Francis was right- Jane’s sweet demeanor and kind words were nothing but lies. She was just like the rest of them.

Joan didn’t know where she was going, she just wanted to get away. She stumbled blindly through a stew of mud and slush beneath her feet, her vision so hazy that she didn’t even notice the hillside she was hobbling towards until she stepped off the edge.

Joan violently tumbled down the slippery slope, feeling like every bone in her body was breaking upon impact with the ground. She landed roughly in a heap, twitching and groaning. She’s covered in mud and her clothing has ripped, freeing any bare skin to the elements. Her knees are skinned raw, practically glowing neon pink and bright red.

She staggers up, wincing as sharp pains crawl up her right leg. She lifts her foot off the ground like a dog with a thorn in its paw as it feels like every tendon in her ankle has just been slashed. She had to hobble and limp forward, nearly crying out in pain every time her toes merely brush something.

She only gets a few steps forward before she falls again.

This time, she does not get up.

Shivering quickly consumed Joan from head to toe, setting her teeth clattering so hard she was sure her brain would rattle out of her ears. She drew heavy breaths in through her nose, every intake of air feeling like daggers carving out her lungs.

She’s sobbing, but the tears don’t feel like acid like they usually do. They run scalding hot for only a few seconds before the unforgiving cold chills them on her cheeks.

She smothered her face against the dirt and mud and scrunched her eyes shut tight, focusing on her breathing. If she could steady her shuddering breaths, maybe she could get her extremities to follow… In through the nose, because if she opened her mouth again she worried her tongue might freeze (probably not but the fear still nags her brain). She just had to block out everything else– the wind, the cold, the unrelenting voices in her head. She tucked her chin further down, burying her exposed face in her skinned knees. Just breathe. Focus…and breathe…

The shock of cold snow fluttering down onto the left side of her face had her gasping for breath, the pain of it leaving every exposed inch of skin in agony of a thousand pins and needles. The ache in her ankle and knees and palms and head made it all worse and she moaned weakly into the mud.

Is this how she died? Alone, freezing cold, and in the dark? Well, it was probably better than being surrounded by people who only acted like they wanted her around...

Joan’s sobbing is reduced to feeble whimpers and hiccups. Her breathing shallows out and she closed her heavy eyelids.

The world cracked. Cold clenched her lungs so tightly that each breath was a silver razor in her chest. Her mind tripped in sluggish circles, white-blind and hum-deaf, until color and sound turn into overlapping floods as her body bursts into fiery pins.

Finally, nothing.

For some reason, the last image her muddled mind created was Jane holding her...

————

      Jane never liked the woods behind her parent’s house, but she hated them even more when the beam of her flashlight landed on a clothed heap just barely in view at the bottom of a hill. Jane’s heart leapt into her throat and cried out the girl’s name, hurrying down the slope without care for her own safety. She fell to her knees beside her foster daughter.

   “Joan?”

Joan’s skin is icy to the touch and her eyes, just barely opened, are rolled to the back of her head. The unnatural blue that tinted her lips sent spikes of fear jamming into Jane’s gut.

Jane wraps her jacket around Joan’s shoulders and then holds her close to her chest. She squeezes her tightly, keeping her cold face pressed to the warmer flesh on Jane’s neck, hoping the slight skin-to-skin contact would generate some warmth in the girl.

   “Joan? Joan, honey, can you hear me?”

Nothing. Joan’s breath is faint against Jane’s collarbone.

   “Come on, Joan. Please.”

Nothing.

But only for a moment.

Jane feels Joan’s chest contract a little and then sees her eyelids flutter open slightly. Her mouth was opening and shutting, but there was no sound at first. Then, a tiny, squeaking noise. Her eyes were wide open, now, and it took a moment for Jane to understand that she was trying to scream.

   “It’s okay, my love, I’m not going to hurt you.” Jane tried to assure her.

Joan’s expression did not change. The squeaking sound gradually made a crescendo into a full shriek, and she started moving her head from side to side wildly. She blows her voice out within seconds and can only pant and breathe heavily.

   “Breathe, Joan,” Jane encouraged, “That’s it. Good girl.”

   “W-who are y-you?” Joan whispered with great effort. Jane actually found herself gasping upon hearing this. She hadn’t realized how bad her foster daughter’s condition was.

   “It’s Jane, love. Your foster mother.” Jane told her.

   “M-mother?”

No. No, that wasn’t right. She didn’t have a mother, she only had-

   “No,” Joan shook her head sluggishly again, “No. Let me go- let me go!!”

Jane winced at the pitches and cracks in Joan’s voice, but she doesn’t listen. Usually, she would always respect the girl not wanting to be touched, but she knew Joan would hightail it the moment she let go.

   “Joan, I’m not going to let you run away again. It’s too cold for you to be out here. We need to go back. We can go home.”

Joan didn’t have a home. Nowhere was home.

   “No, no,” Joan whimpered, “Don’t wanna go back. Please don’t make me. Please. I wanna stay out here. Please just leave me out here...”

   “No.” Jane said firmly and just held Joan even closer. Cold, scraped hands slam against her shoulders.

   “You’re just going to give me away, so why are you trying so hard?! I’m doing you a favor!”

   “...What?”

Jane’s grip slackens and Joan almost gets away.

   “Why would I do that?”

   “B-because of what I did,” Joan stuttered.

   “Oh, sweetheart,” Jane muttered in realization, “No, no, I’m not going to give you away. You dealt with Francis until you couldn’t anymore. I understand that, but we can discuss this later once you’re safe and warm.”

God, the amount of understanding in this woman was incredible. Her words really did sound genuine, but...

   “I don’t believe you.”

   “I-...”

Jane opened her mouth, but didn’t know what to say. Of course Joan didn’t believe her- why would she? She’s been betrayed by too many people who were meant to be her parental figures, who were supposed to protect and love her.

   “Please, please let me go,” Joan begged weakly and Jane’s heart breaks when she sees the tears running down her cheeks. “I just- I want- I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Did she mean...?

Anger simmered in Jane’s veins and she wished she knew all the families Joan had before coming into her care so she could beat them into a bloody pulp. They all broke this poor girl, this child, into shards so badly that she couldn’t trust anyone anymore and didn’t think she was even worth living.

Whatever Joan was feeling right now was far beyond pain.

   “I know you’re scared,” Jane spoke carefully, “And I know you’ve been hurt several times, but it’s going to be okay. Darkness has chosen to find you, but there will be light again. I can help you. I can protect you, I just need you to trust me. I need you to try.”

Joan says nothing, just cries softly.

   “I’m going to protect you.”

   “That’s what they all said.” Joan finally said and her voice is so low it sends chills down Jane’s spine, “They all said that and they lied. They always lie!”

   “Joan-”

   “No! You’re just like them! You’re a liar!”

Joan is struggling again, punching and kicking and scratching and using up every bit of energy she had left, but Jane does not let go. No matter how loud she shouts, no matter how hard she hits, she is not released.

   “Let go! Let go, you’re hurting me! Let go!!”

Joan digs her fingernails into Jane’s forearms and tears down, hoping that’ll be enough, but Jane just closes her eyes and endures the pain. This frustrates Joan even more.

Then, an idea came to her.

With her numb fingers and whatever is left of her dwindling strength, she fumbles in her pocket and pulls out the quill the student teacher in her piano class had given her. She raised it and-

For a long moment Jane wondered who she was even cradling anymore. Was that her Joan? Or was it some other person, some other thing that slipped into her foster daughter’s skin? Had she lost herself to the trauma within? It seemed that way, as she looked about ready to gouge her eyes out with a pen.

And yet? Jane held tight. She held back a flinch as blood from one of Joan’s cuts dripped onto her skin, held to the cloth of the girl’s shirt. She held her close, held her own breath, and held tight to all the courage she could muster.

The quill drops to the dirt.

Joan, and Jane is now sure it’s Joan, hunches down so she can press her face into her chest.

   “Why do you care so much?”

Jane doesn’t know how to answer, because she genuinely doesn’t know. She’s only known Joan for seven days, and yet she loves the girl to death. It was the same with Katherine. She didn’t want to let her go, just like how she didn’t want to let Joan go, too.

   “You deserve better than me.”

Jane is shocked into silence.

   “You shouldn’t be out here. You shouldn’t be holding me or loving me. I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve you. And you’d deserve better.”

Words of Jane’s own bubble forth.

   “No. No. You listen to me,” Jane whispered, practically hissed as she leaned forward and she couldn’t even realize she was crying as well but that was the least of her concerns right now. “I. Don’t. Care. Being out here, holding you- I don’t care. I’m here for a reason. I’ve told you before and I’ll tell you again: I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you, because I’ll calm you down a hundred times if it meant-”

   “Ja-”

   “No,” Jane shook her head and she dared to continue, “No, just listen for another moment first, please, because I need to say that I don’t care about any of it, because I love you.”

Joan’s shoulders shook and she failed to bite back a hiccup and sob. Certainly she hadn’t heard that right. There was no way...

   “I love you,” Jane repeated softly, “and I don’t care about anything else- not a damn other thing in the world, because I love you, and you say I deserve better? Better than you?” She laughed, wiping a palm heavily underneath an eye that threatened to spill over. “Good luck, darling, because there is nothing better than you. Not for me. You’re the best there is.”

Joan could feel the yet another wave of tears thick in the back of her throat, a different dull tightness from the choking fear she had felt. A weak little noise forced its way up from inside her chest, from deep down in the pit of guilt and fear that lived at her core and broke all of the tension in her body.

Teetering forward against her, Joan started to cry quietly into Jane’s collarbone, trying to stifle most of the sounds she was making. Her hands tightened in cotton fabric as the woman’s arms wrapped solidly around her back, pulling her closer. She could feel Jane press her face into her messy mane of hair and hear her quiet, sniffling breaths.

   “Shh, I know, Joan. I know, sweetheart, but it’s over now,” Jane whispered, rubbing slow, deliberate circles into her back. “It’s over and I’m never going to let you go back to any of those nasty people or anyone else ever again. You’re mine and mine alone. And I’m going to protect you and love you and hold you until my very last breath.”

Joan cries harder because she’s never had anyone speak to her this way before, not even Mrs. Greene. Nobody has ever been this fierce and passionate about wanting to care about her, about wanting her, and she just- she couldn’t- she wanted to-

Another sob shook Joan’s whole body and pain vibrates all throughout her. She holds tighter to Jane’s shirt, hyperventilating into her chest.

For a long time, the two of them just sit in the cold of the night. Jane never loosens her grip on Joan, but Joan eventually cries herself out and passes out right in Jane’s arms. Finally, with Joan carefully bundled in her arms, Jane stands up and makes the trek back to the house.

Katherine is a teary, worried mess for her mother and younger sister. When she spots Jane, she hurtles herself at her, not even noticing Joan until she’s clinging to the woman.

   “Mama,” The teenager wept against her mother’s shoulder, “You were gone for so long, mama, I-I thought-”

   “Shh, shh,” Jane soothed her, leaning down to kiss her forehead, “I’m okay,  my darling. I’m right here. I just had some trouble with Joan.”

Katherine’s eyes immediately moved to her sister, who was shivering again.

   “Is she okay?” She asked.

   “She will be,” Jane answered, “Can you open the car door for me? We’re going home.”

Katherine nodded and did as she was told. Jane didn’t bother saying goodbye to her parents or the rest of the family, she just pulled out of the driveway and started for her house.

   “Katherine?”

   “Yes, mum?”

   “You know I love you and your sister with all my heart, yes?”

   “Of course, mum!”

Jane grips tighter to the steering wheel. She glances in the rear view window to see Katherine stroking Joan’s hair in the backseat. Despite the stray tears that slip free from her eyes, she smiled.

   “Good.”