#my sister criticizes my mother for that and has made comments throughout the years about how her friends mothers are all so much younger

[pussy-ache]

thinking about how my sister just got engaged at 27 to her first boyfriend ever and i just don’t have a good feeling about it

[amythedvdhoarder]

Storm in a Teacup

Pairing: Bucky x Divorced Reader

Word Count: ~2K

Warnings: Fluff, a monster of an ex-mother-in-law

Summary: You’re on your first date after your divorce. Who should you run into? Your ex-mother-in-law.

A/N: This comes from a request sent in by a lovely nonnie, who wanted a fic based around a divorced reader who runs into her ex-mother-in-law whilst on a date with Bucky. Before that point, Bucky didn’t know about her divorce. Embarrassment ensues and Bucky has to make up his mind about what to do next. I hope I have done your idea justice. Sorry it took me so long.

Thank you to the wonderful @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ for beta reading for me. Ily hun 😘

It had taken a long time for you to get to this position, to feel comfortable enough to be dating again. But you had been separated from your now ex-husband for two and a half years, your divorce finalised 6 months ago. It was time to try and have some semblance of a life. You felt guilty about not revealing your divorce to Bucky, but when you moved to New York you really wanted a fresh start, so you didn’t tell anyone about your past. Of course, if there came a time when Bucky needed to know then you would tell him, but this was just a coffee.

Bucky and you had begun talking a few months ago. It started when he was dropping off mission reports with small smiles, progressing to hello’s and then to you making him coffee whenever he stopped by during your lunch break, which he always seemed to arrive in time for. He had realised quickly that you weren’t a New York native, so traded your museum recommendations for tv, film and music recommendations. Each time you met you discussed your latest weekend museum trip and he told you his thoughts on the latest thing he had watched or listened to.

It was clear that you two had a connection. Your co-workers had even commented on how well you and the notoriously silent super-soldier seemed to get along. They were surprised that you hadn’t been on a date already. But you had reservations; perhaps it was too soon. Plus, there was no way Bucky would be interested in you. He was just polite and maybe enjoyed having someone who wasn’t a superhero to talk to. It was a shock when he asked you out for coffee the next time you saw him. You were even more shocked that you had agreed without any hesitation.  

You were nervous. In fact, nervous was an understatement. Sick to your stomach was a more accurate description. It wasn’t the fact that it was a date with Bucky Barnes, it was the fact it was a date. Your first, first date in nearly 10 years.  

Bucky was leaning against a lamppost, outside your apartment waiting for you. When you saw him you felt yourself instantly relax. He gave you his signature lopsided grin that you had come to crave and ambled over to you.

“You look great,” he said as he stood back and admired you.

“Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself for an old man,” you teased. That was the understatement of the century. He looked like a model in his dark wash jeans, dark blue henley layered over a black t-shirt and a leather jacket in his hand.

He shook his head and chuckled to himself. “Theoretically we’re about the same age you know.”

You raised an eyebrow at him. “Hmmm well I don’t know about that, but we better get going otherwise we’ll be out past your bedtime.”

“What happened to respecting your elders?” Bucky winked.

“Maybe elders that don’t act like teenage boys, but you and Sam are like high-school kids.”

Bucky looked confused for a second and then remembered that you had caught him and Sam hiding Steve’s shield under your desk the other week.

Bucky threw his hands up in surrender. “Alright, you win.”

The coffee shop was only a couple of streets away, on a corner opposite one of your favourite parks. Bucky and you ordered together and found a table near the window.

Both of you were chatting away about an art gallery you had visited the day before when you were suddenly interrupted.

“You,” that was a voice you would recognise anywhere, a voice which still haunted you. One of constant criticism, one that drove a wedge between you and the person you thought you would spend the rest of your life with.

“Hello Eliza,” you said through a forced smile.

Bucky stood and politely offered his hand to Eliza, but she ignored it leaving Bucky to sit down awkwardly.

“What brings you to New York?” you asked curtly.

“Well Leon and I are visiting my sister,” you balked, glancing quickly around the room, checking for any sign of him.

“He’s not here so you can stop looking. My son had a lucky escape by all accounts,” she sent a sneering look towards Bucky and then back to you. “Barely divorced and already moving on. I always suspected you were a whore; this just confirms it.”

Tears sprang to your eyes; she was publicly humiliating you. Calling you out for being a whore, when you had done nothing but be faithful to her son throughout your marriage and in fact whilst going through the long and bitter divorce. It was her son who couldn’t keep it in his pants. Anger took over and just as you were about to respond Bucky stood up and moved in front of you.

“Sorry I don’t know who you are, but you have no right to speak to anyone like that,” his voice low and urgent, his metal hand clenching and unclenching quickly by his side.

Eliza smirked, eyes flicking up and down at the man standing in front of her. “Ah I recognise you off the news, you two make the perfect match. Both damaged goods that no normal person could want.”

You stood up and went to stand by Bucky’s side, gently taking his arm in your hands. “That’s enough Eliza, we aren’t family anymore, you have made it evidently clear you want nothing to do with me. The feeling is very much mutual. We have nothing more to say to each other so goodbye.”

She let out a little exclamation of shock, but she quickly recovered her sharp exterior. Without saying another word, she just turned on her heels and left the coffee shop.

Bucky gently led you back to your seat, ignoring the people staring at both of you. You looked like you were in shock.

“Hey…” his thumb caught the tears that had begun to roll down your cheeks, “she’s not worth your tears.”

This seemed to finally snap you out of your daze. You look at Bucky and everything just seemed so overwhelming. He was being too kind. Eliza had been right, you were damaged, Bucky deserved more than you, someone who could at least be honest about themselves.

‘I’m sorry Bucky…” you grabbed your bag and tore yourself away from him, running out the café and onto the busy street.

He didn’t follow you immediately like he wanted to, he knew you needed some space. Bucky didn’t know you well but wanted to, he was going to be there for you if you let him. Besides he had an inkling about where you were.

You were exactly where he thought you would be, sat on a bench in the park, covered by a weeping willow.

“Mind if I sit,” you jumped at the intrusion. Bucky stood in front of you, holding two take-out cups from the coffee shop and what looked like a very chocolatey cookie.

All of you could do was nod, the shame of Eliza’s words and your own dishonesty still coursing through you.

“Here,” Bucky offered you the cup and you numbly accepted. “Do you want to split this?” he held up the bag and you rolled your eyes at him. “I mean, I’m quite happy to eat it all,” he sent you a lopsided grin.

You couldn’t help the little snort that escaped you. “We’ll split it, would hate for you to have to spend an extra hour in the gym burning off a whole cookie.”

“You’re too kind,” he teased, opening the bag and poking out the cookie for you to snap off half of it.

Both of you sat and ate without uttering a word to one another. You couldn’t believe he was being so nice to you; you certainly didn’t deserve it.

“I can see why you like it here so much,” Bucky commented, breaking the silence.

“Bucky, how did you know I’d be here?” You turned to face him and took a sip of your coffee.

“I’ve seen you here before. But before you think I’ve been stalking you let me explain. I grew up around here, a couple of blocks away actually. I like to come here for a walk sometimes to remember the happier more carefree times. I spotted you one day but you looked so content in your own little world, I didn’t want to interrupt.” His cheeks flushed slightly with his admission.

He cleared his throat and looked at the coffee cup in his hands before continuing. “Then I started coming here more regularly, hoping I would see you, but I never plucked up the courage to come and talk to you.”

“I’m sorry Bucky” you said quietly.

“That’s the second time you’ve apologised to me today and I still don’t know what you’ve got to be sorry about. It’s not your fault that woman was way out of line. You don’t owe me an apology for anything,” His brows knitted together with concern and it made you feel even more guilty.

“I should’ve told you about the divorce,” smiling ruefully, placing your empty coffee cup between you on the bench.

“I already knew,” he shrugged.

“What? How? I hadn’t told anyone at work,” you spluttered in shock.

“That’s how,” he nodded to where your thumb and forefinger were twisting around where your wedding ring used to be.

You let go immediately and shook your head. “Why did you ask me out for coffee if you knew about my divorce?”

It was perplexing to you that anyone would want to come anywhere near you after your divorce. You had just assumed you would be alone forever. No one had two people out there meant for them. Well, maybe Leon hadn’t been your one.

“We can’t help our past,” Bucky flexed his metal hand, “I know that better than most. All we can do is make the most of our future. I like you, have since I met you. In fact, Sam got so fed up of me talking about you, that he threatened to ask you out himself if I didn’t hurry up and get on with it. Not that I didn’t want to, it’s just thought you could do so much better that an ex-brainwashed assassin.”

“You’re a good man Bucky, anyone would be lucky to have you” you whispered.  

Bucky leant over and wiped away the tears you hadn’t realised had begun to roll down your cheeks. “I don’t just want anyone though,” His deep blue eyes peered into yours trying to get across his meaning.

“I like you too Bucky, but we’ve got to take this slow.” His face lit up at your words and he took your hand and pressed it to his lips.

“I’m over 100 years old, slow suits me. But seeing as our first date was hijacked would you like to get some dinner with me? I know a diner around the corner has the best burger in the city.”

“Sounds perfect, but only if you let me get it this time. I owe you for the coffee and the cookie.” You offered.

“I think I just about agree to terms of that deal,” Bucky laughed, scooped up the rubbish and got to his feet. “Shall we?” he asked, offering you his free hand.

You put your hand in his and got to your feet. “Let’s go.”

Gif not mine, credit to the creator

Divider made by the talented @firefly-graphics​

Taglists are open. Let me know if you want in or out

Everything:

@stargazingfangirl18 ,  @silentcoyotesong, @queenofstarliqht, @buckys-henley, @lonelyheartsm @alexa-lightwood-blog, @angrythingstarlight, @drabblewithfrannybarnes, @rogueheretic555, @rebekahdawkins, @chrissquares, @pumpkin-and-pine, @hereforbuckyandsteve, @drakelover78, @baddie-barnes, @cas25214, @pandaxnienke, @thehumanistsdiary, @saiyanprincessswanie, @ladyacrasia, @sweeterthanthis, @joannie95, @lennon-knox, @navybrat817

Bucky:

@its-izzys, @archy3001

[brightmiraii]

SEVENTEEN 14th member || Hayley

FACE & VOICE CLAIM: Choi Yena (ex IZ*ONE)

STAGE NAME: Hayley (헤일리)

KOREAN NAME: Lee Ha Eun (이하은)

ENGLISH NAME: Hayley Lee

NICKNAMES: Eun, Eunnie, Hayhay, Genius Lee, Queen Hay, Duality Eun

BIRTH DATE: January 9th, 2001 (20 years old, 21 on Korean age)

PLACE OF BIRTH: Vancouver, Canada

ETHNIC: Korean

EDUCATION: Seoul School of Performing Arts

ZODIAC SIGN: Capricorn

NATURAL HAIR COLOUR: Black

EYE COLOUR: Dark brown

HEIGHT: 160cm

WEIGHT: 42kg

BLOOD TYPE: A

POSITION: Lead dancer, sub-vocal, sub-rapper, maknae

UNIT: Performance

TRAINING PERIOD: 2 years and 6 months

LANGUAGES: English, Korean, French, currently learning Japanese and Chinese

FAMILY: mother, father and two older brothers (one of them being Mark from NCT)

B A C K S TO R Y

Hayley is the third-child, the only girl and youngest among the three children her parents had

She started dancing at the age of four. Throughout her life she learnt classic ballet, jazz, contemporary dance, hip-hop and more

When she was around ten years old, Hayley won an internship at Paris Opéra Ballet and stayed there for about three years. She graduated with every honour she could have due to her great performances and skills

After returning to Vancouver, Hayley participated on SM Global Audition, yet she failed it (she considers it one of the biggest failures in her life)

Though that situation happened to her, she passed on Pledis’ audition and started training on 2014

She thought she wouldn’t make a debut since she wasn’t present to the public as one of the Pledis Girls or as a regular trainee, so she was surprised when the prompt of joining Seventeen was presented

Started to train with the boys as soon as 2016 began, even though she wouldn’t go with them to awards ceremonies or concerts

Officially joined Seventeen in ‘Pretty U’ era and received a lot of criticism, but also some Carats loved her

P E R S O N A L I T Y

She’s a shy girl at first sight, but as soon as she has to perform as Hayley from Seventeen, she becomes charismatic and powerful (that’s why Carats call her ‘Duality Eun’). With the members, close friends and family, though, she’s a bubbly and caring personality

Haeun tends to bottle everything inside and pretend nothing’s wrong until she can’t take it anymore

Her motivation is to be a great idol and make Carats proud of her

Her weak point is negative comments, those really affect her

She has a habit to scratch herself when she’s nervous till the point where sometimes it caused bruises

Ever since she debuted, the media always found a way to compare her to Mark and she absolutely hates it because not only she doesn’t want to be known as “Mark’s younger sister” but also it makes her feel insecure about specially her vocal skills

F U N F A C T S

Hayley was really insecure to join Seventeen, even though she had already met them once or twice, the thought of being in the same group as thirteen boys that already knew each other was terrifying to her. Now, she sees them as her family and cares for them as if they were her brothers for real

She cried after Seventeen won Best Dance Performance on MAMA 2017 when they left the stage because she knew how hard everyone worked for ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’

Probably is the #1 fan of China Line and freaked out with My I (every time they had to perform it Hayley needed to be there and root for them)

Even though ballet took a big part of her life, she had never performed it in front of her members. They only saw her dancing to it during her solo on ‘Diamond Edge’

She loves to read books (lowkey Hayhay and Wonwoo have a book club)

Because she grew up speaking two languages at home + learnt French at the ballet academy, Hayley goes through those three languages when she’s nervous

Carats started to call her ‘Genius Lee’ when Jeonghan said Hayley has good grades on school, besides speaking fluently three languages

Calls Mark at least once a week because she is really attached to him (seriously they’re sibling goals)

She can’t eat anything with cinnamon due to the fact that she’s allergic to it

Plays the piano very well, however she sucks at playing guitar (Jihoon and Joshua can confirm it) done till here

Her favourite colour is lilac

Wears glasses but can’t use contact lenses, so she walks around and performs without seeing very well

Sebongies made a special event to give Hayhay her SVT ring, they made a live without her knowing and pulled a prank on her to, after, give her the present (cue to Hayley crying like a baby)

Loves high heels because they make her looks taller, but she gave up using them because of the choreographies

Would like to try rapping but is too insecure of failing and being compared to her brother that she doesn’t even try

Hayhay tends to not speak up her ideas whenever Performance team is creating a new choreography, she’s really insecure about her ideas so she remains in silence

Only a few times she suggested a few things, including Jihoon’s part in ‘Don’t Wanna Cry’ choreography

Anyone can bribe her with chicken and ice cream

She’s a fan of 5 Seconds Of Summer

Her knees are always bruised with purple marks due to their hard choreographies (the makeup artists have to work on them with makeup whenever she’s using shorts without knee pads)

[byorder-fanfic]

Finn’s Lost Loves

Summary: Finn’s lost more than anyone else knew because of the war, and every stupid thing his family have done afterwards to keep themselves in charge.

Word count: 2019

Warnings: Mentions war and blood, talks about eating disorder, self harm and self-esteem, and homophobia (only a little bit, period accurate), a lot of toxic masculinity 

Author’s note: This is a lot of angst with little bits of fluff and a sad ending. Sorry. It’s basically an overview of Finn’s character, backstory and his relationships with the family that we’ve never gotten to see! It’s based off a piece of prose in my drafts, so if you guys like this, I might post that as well. Hope you enjoy, and please comment, I love hearing your opinions and any constructive criticism you might have xx

Finn loved books. Once upon a time, he really did. He loved the way Tommy did the voices, and Arthur made those wild motions with his hands, and John could always make him laugh as he told him about that thing that happened in the pub last week. He loved how Ada and Polly would tuck him up in bed, place a kiss on his temple and read the letters from the boys. Then they came back, and he didn’t need to read letters. Or books. Or anything really. Soon, he didn’t even go to school. He just wanted to be with his brothers. Now they tell him to piss off more than they beg him to stay. Tommy and Polly scold him for not being able to read off the betting boards, and John makes everyone else laugh when he holds a big volume under Finn’s nose, so that everyone knew that Finn was still illiterate. Finn hates books.

Finn loved Church. He didn’t need Polly to drag him by the heels as he sobbed under the Virgin Mary’s stare like his brothers when he hopped, skipped and a jumped all his way down the road. He always sat by Isaiah, the two boys out-screaming each other in the hymns and seeing who Polly would scold first. He wore the crucifix everyday, and treated his rosary with all the sacred carefulness a six year old could manage. He loved the psalms and Jeremiah’s voice ringing through the streets and the way everyone was always together (even Charlie) on Sunday. Then he had to light candles, praying for his brothers’ safety that was only answered with their damnation as they dragged back blood and French mud into Watery Lane. Now he cries through the paper thin pages of a Bible and his only prayers are that the boys never see his tears. What did he have to cry about after all? He was never a soldier, but he should learn to be a man. Finn hates Church.

Finn loved healing. Ada dragged him along to her nursing classes and soon his only reason to come to Church was to learn how to tie bandages and fix up cuts and bruises. No one noticed his long absences- they either assumed he went to school still, or they were far too busy with the race tracks to care for the whereabouts of their youngest brother. But then he'd slipped up, and he'd never seen his brothers laugh so hard when he proudly told Polly he was going to be a nurse one day. Even his aunt and sister, usually the ones on his side, had to purse their lips together as Arthur roared out: "Hear that, Tom? We got ourselves a Nurse Shelby here! Want a dress and hat to go with it?" He told them all to fuck off and stamped out, but he didn't understand what he said that was so funny. When he asked Isaiah, who had just turned fourteen and starting to see Finn less and less, he just said that being a nurse was a woman's job. He didn't like being laughed at for being a girl, but he didn't know why. He still hoarded textbooks about anatomy and the like under his bed, tracing over the detailed pictures with his skeleton finger as he wished. And wished. And wished. And almost prayed that he could read the little ink words. When he found Arthur with another red line on his neck, he offered him some medicine to cure his big brother's blues, thinking just a bit of Tokyo would keep his brother here with him. No one asked why Finn was sad. Oh well, at least he could protect his brothers now. Finn hates healing. Finn loved food. Always the big eater in the Shelby household, he managed to always have a full stomach despite the poverty that reigned. He was a stickler for sweets, though, and as soon as he mastered the art of sneaking rings and wallets from unsuspecting strangers, he soon graduated to thieving lollipops and boiled sweets and even some toffees that he proudly deposited into his aunt's hand with a toothy grin. But the boys would look into his empty plate and his skinny frame and tell him he'd better watch out, soon he might actually have a shape under those bulky clothes. They always laughed, and he felt himself completely embarrassed at the dinner table. He dumped more sugar than milk into his tea and stole chips when they went to the seaside. He'd always offer to share, wanting to provide for them for once, but they'd tell him he was the one who needed it. He sees his ribs and the little vertebrae of his spine and wonders why can't he just be strong like his brothers. Even though he despises it, he picks up boxing to fill out his form. Maybe training with Isaiah was an extra benefit, but the older boy had long since talked to Finn on the regular, and made a point to laugh at him when he fell onto the floor. So, Finn graduated from second helpings of lunch and too-sweet tea to the sour delights of whiskey and cigarettes. Just like his brothers. Finn hates food. Finn loves his family. He loves Polly, the mother he never had, and will never feel like he does enough to repay her for his entire childhood. Then Michael came back, and soon there wasn't any chore lists on the downstairs table for someone to read out for him, or little check ups throughout the day as she makes sure he's okay. That was when he realised exactly why Polly raised him in her empty arms. He loves Arthur: his eldest brother, who used to lift him up on his shoulders and teach him to draw. Finn still has faded old pictures of galloping stallions (signed in block letters: A.W.S) slipped between the filled out pages of the sketchbooks he hides in his wardrobe. Then Arthur came back, with what everyone calls Flanders Blues, but no one explains, and Finn feels like he's losing his brother everyday when he comes back smelling like a brewery with blood on his fists. Finn loves Tommy. A father figure to him, the kind of man he wants to be when he grows up. But then Greta died and Tommy went to war, and the man who took him horse riding every weekend was gone, and this Tommy was colder. Finn loves John as the best friend he's ever had, always laughing together, giving sometimes useful advice and finding days to just spend time with each other. Despite John's bazillion kids, widowerhood, and then his new wife, he's always had time to spare for his little brother. John was the one who told him what bisexual was when he found Finn sobbing in his room, he was the one that took him to the doctor when he passed out from malnutrition, and he's the one that made him swear to never use razor blades on himself again. Finn loves Ada. He sees why Freddie calls her an angel, and used to love it when she pretended to take Finn to the library when in fact they were both slipping away to a Communist meeting, which would usually end up in Ada and Freddie slipping away and leaving Finn in the trusted supervision of leftist radicals that he happily chatted away to. Ada always took care of him, making sure he was never involved in the business (on either side) and telling him that being a soldier is a life sentence, not an honour. He lives because Ada keeps him safe and sane. Then Ada leaves. Finn hates the Shelby name that everyone screams at him like a condemnation, that invites slurs and hatred that only he gets because he doesn't look like a proper Shelby man. Finn hates his family. Finn loved Isaiah. A childhood crush that brought butterflies to his stomach and blushes to his freckled face. He sketched the boy's face so many times, he knew it by memory. They held hands when they were chased down the streets, laughing and sprinting as their spoils stayed securely in their pockets. But Isaiah was older than him. Soon after adolescence hit the Jesus boy and Peaky Blinders offered him a role, without the constant of Church, the two greatest of friends became almost strangers to one another. But Finn still loved him. He never told anyone, of course. He knew he wasn't a real homosexual, because he most certainly did enjoy holding hands and kissing the cheeks of girls his age (poor boy was flustered to ever do more!) but his heart still belonged to the preacher's boy. With more faithful women in the family than ever before, Finn knew he would be crucified if he ever told anyone. John was the only one who knew, and that was based on the fact he paid more attention to his brother than anyone else combined. He said he should just go for it, but Finn knew Isaiah couldn't be like him. And even if Jeremiah was always the kindest man that Finn ever met, he still didn't trust that the cross on his neck wouldn't shame him or laugh at him for the fact he was completely enamoured with his son. Then Finn got drunk, and when he woke up, his entire family knew exactly how he felt and Isaiah wouldn't look at him in the eye. He ran away to the stables, crying on Uncle Charlie's shoulder who told it would be alright. He made sure to keep an eye on Finn ever since, keeping an eye on his wrists and fists. The incident was soon forgot by everyone but him. Finn couldn't find it in him to hate Isaiah, but he knew he didn't love him any more. Finn has never loved Michael. He thought he could, at first, when he saw the tweed suit and a face more innocent than his. But then Tommy promoted him almost on the spot, and Finn had never at once felt so much rage bubble inside him. Everything he has done for his brothers, every passion he sacrificed, every humiliation he shouldered, just so they could see him as an equal. But no, there are only three Shelby brothers as far as anyone else is concerned, and Finn carries on as errand boy. He ignores all Ada's good advice, and swear that he will make his brothers proud of him one day. So, he puts on the thorn crown of a Peaky cap and wears the waistcoat and wool coat of his brother's likeness, and parades about Small Heath like he actually was apart of the makeshift royal family. Then Finn found Michael and Isaiah kissing in the alleyway. Even though Finn had made a point to announce that his brothers had started giving him more work, Isaiah still fucked off to the pub with Michael every night, devoting his time and attention to only him, and Finn couldn't understand why. Now he did. If Finn had been violent like Arthur, he certainly wouldn't have thought twice about taking the cup on his curls and cutting the smirk off of his cousin. He had stolen his brothers' respect, his surrogate mother's attention, his place in the business, the affections of the one boy Finn had ever loved. He had stolen Finn's everything, and Finn hated him. They both froze and stuttered. Excuses about just being friends, just experimenting, but he saw the way they held each others shaking hands just as he and Isaiah used to hold onto each other as they raced through the streets. "I'm glad you're together." He shocked them both with a forced smile. "You both deserve to be happy." The two were kinder to him after that, almost back to the old friendship he had missed, and Finn knew he didn't hate Michael. Or Isaiah. Or any of his family, really. No, Finn hated himself.

[vinayrajoriaofficial]

A Critical Essay on the Life & Poetry of William Wordsworth

With respect to 'The Prelude' & the 'Lyrical Ballads'

Portrait of the English Romantic poet William Wordsworth by Benjamin Haydon.

"You have given me praise for having reflected faithfully in my poems the feelings of human nature. I would fain hope that I have done so.

But a great poet ought to do more than this; he ought, to a certain degree, to rectify men’s feelings, to give them new compositions of feeling, to render their feelings more sane, pure, and permanent; in short, more consonant to Nature, that is, to eternal Nature, and the great moving spirit of things."

Wordsworth wrote this in a letter, in response, to his friend, John Wilson on the 7th of June 1802, thanking him for his heartiest congratulations on the success of his Lyrical Ballads and in the process reflected on the ideas of his poetical abilities and ambitions. Indeed, Wordsworth was a poet far ahead of his times, creating over the span of eighty years a colossal magnitude of poetic works which have become a part of the very fabric of the English language and literature.

Like many of his contemporaries, Wordsworth was influenced acutely by the historic event of the French Revolution, of which he was not only an observer but an active participant and supporter. But before delving too deep into his works and genius we must understand something about his life and childhood, without which, one cannot think of understanding his poetry let alone Wordsworth himself.

Young Wordsworth in 1798, in Town End, Grasmere.

WILLIAM WORDSWORTH was born in the Lake District in April 1770 and died there eighty years later on 23 April 1850. He had three brothers and a sister, Dorothy, to whom throughout his life he was especially close. When she was six and he was nearly eight, their mother died. Dorothy was sent away to be brought up by relatives and a year later William was sent to Hawkshead Grammar School.

Wordsworth was cared for in lodgings and led a life of exceptional freedom, roving over the fells that surrounded the village. The death of his father broke in on this happiness when he was thirteen, but did not halt the education through nature that complemented his Hawkshead studies and became the theme of his poetry.

As an undergraduate at Cambridge, Wordsworth traveled (experiencing the French Revolution at first hand) and wrote poetry. His twenties were spent as a wanderer, in France, Switzerland, Wales, London, the Lakes, Dorset, and Germany. In France, he fathered a child whom he did not meet until she was nine because of the War.

In 1794 he was reunited with Dorothy and met Coleridge, with whom he published Lyrical Ballads in 1798, and to whom he addressed The Prelude, his epic study of human consciousness. In the last days of the century, Wordsworth and Dorothy found a settled home at Dove Cottage, Grasmere. Here Wordsworth wrote much of his best-loved poetry, and Dorothy her famous Journals.

In 1802 Wordsworth married Dorothy’s closest friend, Mary Hutchinson. Gradually he established himself as the great poet of his age, a turning-point coming with the collected edition of 1815. From 1813 Wordsworth and his family lived at Rydal Mount in the neighboring valley to Grasmere. In 1843 he became the poet laureate.

A recent cover page of the 'Lyrical Ballads' by Wordsworth & Coleridge, which heralded the Romantic Age in English Literature.

Now, keeping this dynamic canvas of Wordsworth’s life in consciousness can begin to grasp the magnitude of his poetic genius. To begin with, we can say Wordsworth was a game-changer in the history of English poetry. By publishing, his epoch-making collection of poems, Lyrical Ballads, Wordsworth along with Coleridge heralded the Romantic Age of English poetry. On which Coleridge writes in chapter 14 of his book, Biographia Literaria, about Wordsworth and his romantic ideas thus:

"Mr. Wordsworth, on the other hand, was to propose to himself as his object, to give the charm of novelty to things of every day, and to excite a feeling analogous to the supernatural, by awakening the mind’s attention to the lethargy of custom, and directing it to the loveliness and the wonders of the world before us; an inexhaustible treasure, but for which, in consequence of the film of familiarity and selfish solicitude, we have eyes, yet see not, ears that hear not, and hearts that neither feel nor understand."

-Coleridge on Wordsworth, Biographia Literaria

And so we see that Wordsworth did exhibit all these themes and ideas repeatedly in his entire works. He takes as his subjects the poor, the old, and the outcast, for example in the poems ‘Goody Blake and Harry Gill’, Wordsworth talks about an old woman who has to steal firewood to survive the winter. His poem, ‘Her Eyes Are Wild’, about a vagrant woman suckling her child:

Suck, little babe, oh suck again,

It cools my blood, it cools my brain,

Thy lips I feel them, baby, they

Draw from my heart the pain away.

-from ‘Her Eyes Are Wild’

In ‘The Old Cumberland Beggar’, a beggar sits among ‘wild empty hills’ eating, and his ‘palsied hands’ scatter crumbs while the ‘small mountain birds’ surround him, waiting warily for their ‘destined meal’. In the popular poem, ‘The Idiot Boy’ a poor countrywoman, Betty Foy, is the mother of a disabled son who gets lost and spends a night in the open air. When she finds him he speaks wonderingly of the owls and the moon, without realizing what they are.

This was a major breakthrough in English poetry as Wordsworth brought to the poetic arena, the lives of the common people and this was huge because no one had ever made such people a subject of their poems before. Also new in Lyrical Ballads are poems about children and how adults fail to understand them.

In the poem, ‘Anecdote for Fathers’, a boy resists adult logic, and in ‘We Are Seven’, a small girl, whose brother has died, insists that he still counts as one of the family. Wordsworth’s belief in the superiority of childhood is expressed most challengingly in the ‘Immortality Ode’ written in 1802, where he remembers his early years.

A painting of the French Revolution of 1789, which ousted monarchy from France and had a big impact on Wordsworth and many intellectuals.

Through his selected works, written after the experiences of the French Revolution, one also comes to feel the sympathetic nature of Wordsworth towards the lowly and the poor. Like in The Prelude, he recalls, how a revolutionary friend pointed to an emaciated girl they met on a walk and declared:

'Tis against that

That we are fighting

In the ‘Residence in London’ book of the same poem, he remembers seeing a poor man with a sick child in his arms, and writes:

Bending over it,

As if he were afraid both of the sun,

And of the air which he had come to seek,

Eyed the poor babe with love unutterable

As for expressing the moods and settings of nature, Wordsworth is the unquestioned master, often and aptly called by many to be the poet of nature. One can even argue that no English poet expresses nature in its innate sensual beauty and spiritual entirety as Wordsworth.

What’s more interesting in Wordsworth’s portrayal of nature is that for him Nature is not just Mother Earth that needs to be expressed and captured in words but is much more than that. Like in the poem ‘Lines Written in Early Spring’, included in Lyrical Ballads, Wordsworth expresses the belief that nature is conscious as he writes:

'Tis my faith that every flower

Enjoys the air it breathes.’

Or the core Romantic belief that nature is a moral educator is stated with breath-taking simplicity in another Lyrical Ballads poem, ‘The Tables Turned’ where he writes:

One impulse from a vernal wood,

May teach you more of man,

Of moral evil and of good,

Than all the sages can.

In this regard one remembers a famous passage from The Prelude which gives an instance of Wordsworth expressing, nature acting as a moral guardian. The passage is about one summer evening when young Wordsworth takes a boat without its owner’s permission, and as he rows, he expresses:-

A huge peak, black and huge,

As if with voluntary power instinct,

Up reared its head

It seems to stride after him and, trembling, he returns the boat to where he found it. Even when not guilt-ridden, the boy Wordsworth in The Prelude is aware of nature as a living presence:

I heard among the solitary hills

Low breathings coming after me and sounds

Of indistinguishable motion, steps

Almost as silent as the turf they trod.

On Wordsworth’s poetic oeuvre, Walter Pater, a critic of Wordsworth’s time comments in his essay titled- Appreciations (1889) that Wordsworth to be the poet of ‘impassioned contemplation’ and in stressing both words equally, he got the balance exactly right. In his attempts to characterize the nature of the poetic or creative power, Wordsworth laid similar emphasis on impassioned seeing.

Perhaps, one can say, that the best encapsulation of Wordsworth's entire creative output has been written by none other than Wordsworth himself in the poem, ‘Glad sight wherever new with old’, written in 1842 when he was seventy-two. This poem points to almost everything that has been central to his long imaginative engagement with words and things. Wordsworth in it writes:

Glad sight wherever new with old

is joined through some dear home born tie;

The life of all that we behold

Depends upon that mystery.

Vain is the glory of the sky,

the beauty vain of field and grove

Unless, while with admiring eye

We gaze, we also learn to love.

Image Credits:- Pinterest & Google

References & Research:-

The Concise History of English literature by William Henry Hudson

The Routledge history of English literature

The Routledge Anthology of Poets on Poets

A little history of Poetry by John Carey

JASTOR Essays

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[transracialqueer]

The Baby Brokers: Inside America’s Murky Private-Adoption Industry

by Tik Root

6/3/21

Shyanne Klupp was 20 years old and homeless when she met her boyfriend in 2009. Within weeks, the two had married, and within months, she was pregnant. “I was so excited,” says Klupp. Soon, however, she learned that her new husband was facing serious jail time, and she reluctantly agreed to start looking into how to place their expected child for adoption. The couple called one of the first results that Google spat out: Adoption Network Law Center (ANLC).

Klupp says her initial conversations with ANLC went well; the adoption counselor seemed kind and caring and made her and her husband feel comfortable choosing adoption. ANLC quickly sent them packets of paperwork to fill out, which included questions ranging from personal-health and substance-abuse history to how much money the couple would need for expenses during the pregnancy.

Klupp and her husband entered in the essentials: gas money, food, blankets and the like. She remembers thinking, “I’m not trying to sell my baby.” But ANLC, she says, pointed out that the prospective adoptive parents were rich. “That’s not enough,” Klupp recalls her counselor telling her. “You can ask for more.” So the couple added maternity clothes, a new set of tires, and money for her husband’s prison commissary account, Klupp says. Then, in January 2010, she signed the initial legal paperwork for adoption, with the option to revoke. (In the U.S., an expectant mother has the right to change her mind anytime before birth, and after for a period that varies state by state. While a 2019 bill proposing an explicit federal ban of the sale of children failed in Congress, many states have such statutes and the practice is generally considered unlawful throughout the country.)

“I will never forget the way my heart sank,” says Klupp. “You have to buy your own baby back almost.” Seeing no viable alternative, she ended up placing her son, and hasn’t seen him since he left the hospital 11 years ago.

Movies may portray the typical adoption as a childless couple saving an unwanted baby from a crowded orphanage. But the reality is that, at any given time, an estimated 1 million U.S. families are looking to adopt—many of them seeking infants. That figure dramatically outpaces the number of available babies in the country. Some hopeful parents turn to international adoption, though in recent years other countries have curtailed the number of children they send abroad. There’s also the option to adopt from the U.S. foster-care system, but it’s an often slow-moving endeavor with a limited number of available infants. For those with means, there’s private domestic adoption.

ANLC was started in 1996 by Allan and Carol Gindi, who first called it the Adoption Network. The company says it has since worked on over 6,000 adoptions and that it’s the largest law corporation in the nation providing adoption services (though limited publicly available data makes that difficult to verify). ANLC’s home page is adorned with testimonials from grateful clients. Critics, however, see the organization as a paradigm of the largely unregulated private-adoption system in the U.S., which has made baby brokering a lucrative business.

Problems with private domestic adoption appear to be widespread. Interviews with dozens of current and former adoption professionals, birth parents, adoptive parents and reform advocates, as well as a review of hundreds of pages of documents, reveal issues ranging from commission schemes and illegal gag clauses to Craigslistesque ads for babies and lower rates for parents willing to adopt babies of any race. No one centrally tracks private adoptions in the U.S., but best estimates, from the Donaldson Adoption Institute (2006) and the National Council for Adoption (2014), respectively, peg the number of annual nonrelative infant adoptions at roughly 13,000 to 18,000. Public agencies are involved in approximately 1,000 of those, suggesting that the vast majority of domestic infant adoptions involve the private sector—and the market forces that drive it.

“It’s a fundamental problem of supply and demand,” says Celeste Liversidge, an adoption attorney in California who would like to see reforms to the current system. The scarcity of available infants, combined with the emotions of desperate adoptive parents and the advent of the Internet, has helped enable for-profit middlemen—from agencies and lawyers to consultants and facilitators—to charge fees that frequently stretch into the tens of thousands of dollars per case.

A 2021 ANLC agreement, reviewed by TIME and Newsy, shows that prospective parents were charged more than $25,000 in fees—not including legal costs for finalizing the adoption, birth-mother expenses and other add-ons (like gender specification). The full tab, say former employees, can balloon to more than double that.

“The money’s the problem,” says Adam Pertman, author of Adoption Nation and president of the National Center on Adoption and Permanency. “Anytime you put dollar signs and human beings in the same sentence, you have a recipe for disaster.”

Even though federal tax credits can subsidize private adoptions (as much as $14,300 per child for the adopting parents), there is no federal regulation of the industry. Relevant laws—governing everything from allowable financial support to how birth parents give their consent to an adoption—are made at the state level and vary widely. Some state statutes, for example, cap birth-mother expenses, while others don’t even address the issue. Mississippi allows birth mothers six months to change their mind; in Tennessee, it’s just three days. After the revocation period is over, it’s “too bad, so sad,” says Renee Gelin, president of Saving Our Sisters, an organization aimed at helping expectant parents preserve their families. “The mother has little recourse.”

Liversidge founded the nonprofit AdoptMatch, which describes itself as a “mobile app and online resource” that aims to “increase an expectant parent’s accessibility to qualified adoptive parents and ethical adoption professionals.” She says the hodgepodge of state statutes invites abuse: “Anyone that knows or learns the system—it doesn’t take much—can exploit those loopholes very easily for financial gain.”

Thirteen former ANLC employees, whose time at the organization spanned from 2006 to 2015, were interviewed for this story. Many asked to remain anonymous, out of fear of retaliation from the Gindis or ANLC. (The couple has filed multiple suits, including for defamation, over the years.) “The risk is too great for my family,” wrote one former employee in a text to TIME and Newsy. But whether on or off the record, the former employees told largely similar stories of questionable practices at an organization profiting off both adoptive and expectant parents. “These are such vulnerable people,” says one former employee. “They deserve more than greed.”

The Gindis have long faced questions about their adoption work. In 2006, the Orange County district attorney filed a scathing complaint contending that while operating Adoption Network, the couple had committed 11 violations, including operating as a law firm without an attorney on staff and falsely advertising Carol as having nursing degrees. Admitting no wrongdoing, the Gindis agreed to pay a $100,000 fine.

Since around that time, the Gindis’ exact involvement with ANLC has been difficult to discern amid a web of other companies, brands and titles. They both declined interview requests, but Allan did respond to emailed questions, explaining that he plays what he termed “an advertising role” for ANLC, including for the company’s current president, Lauren Lorber (the Gindis’ daughter), who took over the law practice in 2015. Before that, an attorney named Kristin Yellin owned ANLC. Former employees, though, say that despite an outwardly delineated setup, Allan in particular has remained heavily involved in ANLC operations. As far back as 2008, even though Yellin was the titular owner, “everyone knew that Allan Gindi ran it,” according to former employee Cary Sweet. (Sweet and other employees were plaintiffs in a 2010 discrimination and unlawful business practices lawsuit against ANLC. The company denied the allegations and the parties settled for an amount that Sweet says she isn’t allowed to reveal but called “peanuts.”)

In an interview, Yellin bristled at the idea that Allan Gindi was in charge during her ownership period, saying, “I realized what the Gindis’ role was and how to put boundaries on that.” Lorber, who declined an interview for this story, wrote via email that Allan has been a “leader” in adoption marketing. He maintains, also by email, that over a 25-year period, each attorney for whom he has provided his “highly specialized marketing services” has been “more than satisfied.” In an earlier text message, Allan also characterized the reporting for this story as “an attack on the wonderful work that Adoption Network has done and continues to do.”

Sweet, who worked with both expectant and adoptive parents at ANLC from 2008 to 2011, says she wasn’t aware of Klupp’s experience but remembers a situation involving a staff member’s threatening to call child protective services on a mother if she didn’t place her child for adoption. In a 2011 deposition taken as part of Sweet’s lawsuit, Yellin stated that the employee in question had told her that they had conveyed to the mother that “if you end up not going through with this, you know social services will probably be back in your life.” Yellin said that she found the comment inappropriate in context but did not perceive it as threatening or coercive.

Lorber, who has owned ANLC since late 2015, wrote in an email that she’s unaware of any incidents in which birth mothers were told they would have to pay back expenses if they chose not to place their child. But Klupp isn’t the only expectant mother to say she felt pressured by ANLC. Gracie Hallax placed two children through ANLC, in 2017 and 2018. Although the company arranged for lodging during her pregnancy (including, she says, in a bedbug-infested motel), she recalls an ANLC representative’s telling her that she could have to pay back expenses if she backed out of the adoptions. Madeline Grimm, a birth mother who placed her child through ANLC in 2019, also says she was informed that she might have to return expense money if she didn’t go through with the adoption. “That was something that I would think of if I was having any kind of doubt,” she says. “Like, well, sh-t, I’d have to pay all this back.”

The experiences described by Klupp, Hallax and Grimm fit a pattern of practices at ANLC that former employees say were concerning. Many describe a pervasive pressure to bring people—whether birth parents or adoptive couples—in the door. This was driven, at least in part, they say, by a “profit sharing” model of compensation in which, after meeting certain targets, employees could earn extra by signing up more adoptive couples or completing more matches. Former employees say birth mothers who did multiple placements through ANLC were sometimes referred to as “frequent flyers.” (Lorber and Yellin both say they have never heard that term.)

“The whole thing became about money and not about good adoption practices,” says one former employee. As they saw it, ANLC made a priority of “bringing in the next check.”

Adoptive parents, former employees say, were sometimes provided inaccurate statistics on how often the company’s attempts to matchmake were successful. “They almost made it seem like birth mothers were lining up to give their babies away,” says one. “That’s not reality.” (Yellin says in the 2011 deposition that the data were outdated, not inaccurate.) Clients pay their fees in two nonrefundable installments, one at the beginning of the process and another after matching with a birth mother. As a result, former employees say, if the adoption fell through, there was little financial incentive for ANLC to rematch the parents, and those couples were routinely not presented to other birth mothers. “Counselors were being pressured to do this by the higher-ups,” claims one former employee, recalling instructions to “not match couples that are not bringing in money. Period.”

Some prospective adoptive parents whom the company deemed harder to match—those who were overweight, for example, say former employees—were given a limited agreement that timed out, rather than the standard open-ended contract. There was also a separate agreement for those willing to adopt Black or biracial babies, for which the company offered its services at a discount. (In her 2011 deposition, Yellin acknowledged that there were multiple versions of the agreement and providing staff with obesity charts. When asked if obesity was a reason clients got a limited agreement, she said, “Specifically because they were obese, no.” In regard to whether what a couple looked like was considered, she responded, “I can only speculate. I do not know.”)

Former ANLC employees also allege the company would encourage pregnant women to relocate to states where the adoption laws were more favorable and finalizations more likely. “I believe it’s called venue hunting,” one recalls. And while that former employee made sure to note that ANLC did produce some resoundingly positive, well-fitting adoptions, they say the outcome was largely a matter of luck, “like throwing spaghetti on a refrigerator to see if it’ll stick.”

Yellin acknowledges that when she took over the company in 2007, “there was a feeling that some of the adoption advisers had felt pressured just to make matches.” But she says she worked to address that and other issues. Yellin says she put an end to the use of the limited agreement, and denies that ANLC ever advised birth mothers to relocate to other states to make an adoption easier. She also says she wasn’t aware of any instances of birth mothers’ being coerced into placing their babies. Other practices, though, she defended. Charging lower fees to parents willing to adopt babies of any race makes business sense, Yellin says. “Their marketing costs were lower. That’s just the reality of it.” Lorber maintains that fee structure stopped in 2019. More broadly, she noted that of the thousands of parties that ANLC has worked with over the years, the complaint rate is less than half of 1% and “that is one track record to be proud of!”

But ANLC’s practices over the years could have legal implications. Experts say that reports of any organization’s putting pressure on birth parents to go through with an adoption would raise concerns about whether those parents placed their children under duress—which can be grounds for invalidating consent and potentially overturning adoptions. And ANLC may be violating consumer-protection laws with a clause in its agreement that makes clients “agree not to talk negatively about ANLC’s efforts, service, positions, policies and employees with anyone, including potential Birth Parents, other adoption-related entities or on social media and other Internet platforms.” The federal Consumer Review Fairness Act of 2016 makes contract clauses that restrict consumer reviews illegal, as does the 2014 California “Yelp” bill.

“It would certainly be unlawful,” says Paul Levy, an attorney with the consumer-advocacy organization Public Citizen, who reviewed the agreement. “If they put this in the contract, what do they have to hide?”

Stories of enticement and pressure tactics in the private-adoption industry abound. Mother Goose Adoptions, a middle-man organization in Arizona, has pitched a “laptop for life” program and accommodations in “warm, sunny Arizona.” A Is 4 Adoption, a facilitator in California, made a payment of roughly $12,000 to a woman after she gave birth, says an attorney involved in the adoption case. While the company says it “adheres to the adoption laws that are governed by the state of California,” the lawyer, who asked to remain anonymous because they still work on adoptions in the region, says they told A Is 4 Adoption’s owner, “You should not be paying lump sums. It looks like you’re buying a baby.”

Jessalynn Speight worked for ANLC in 2015 and says private adoption is rife with problems: “It’s much more rampant than anyone can understand.” Speight, whose nonprofit Tied at the Heart runs retreats for birth parents, worries that the industry sometimes turns into a cycle of dependency, as struggling women place multiple children as a means of financial support. (The same incentive may also encourage scamming adoptive birth parents, with purported birth parents who don’t actually intend to place a child for adoption or are never even pregnant.) Anne Moody, author of the 2018 book The Children Money Can Buy, about foster care and adoption, says the system can amount to “basically producing babies for money.”

Claudia Corrigan D’Arcy, a birth-parent advocate and birth mother who blogs extensively about adoption, says she routinely hears of women facing expense-repayment pressures. Some states, such as California and Nevada, explicitly consider birth-parent expenses an “act of charity” that birth parents don’t have to pay back. In other states, though, nothing prohibits adoption entities from trying to obligate birth parents to repay expenses when a match fails.

“How is that not blackmail?” D’Arcy asks, emphasizing that in most states, fraud or duress can be a reason for invalidating a birth parent’s consent. According to Debra Guston, adoption director for the Academy of Adoption & Assisted Reproduction Attorneys, conditioning support on a promise to repay or later demanding repayment if there is no placement is “at very least unethical.”

States are ostensibly in charge of keeping private-adoption entities in line. Agencies are generally licensed or registered with the relevant departments of health, human services or children and families. Attorneys practice under the auspices of a state bar. But even when misdeeds are uncovered, action may be anemic and penalties minimal. In 2007, Dorene and Kevin Whisler were set to adopt through the Florida-based agency Adoption Advocates. When the agency told the Whislers the baby was born with disabilities, the couple decided not to proceed with the adoption—but they later found out that the baby was healthy and had been placed with a different couple, for another fee. After news coverage of the case, Adoption Advocates found itself under investigation. In a 2008 letter to Adoption Advocates, the Florida department of children and families (DCF) wrote that it had found “expenses that are filed with the courts from your agency do not accurately reflect the expenses that are being paid to the natural mothers in many instances.” Although DCF temporarily put the organization on a provisional license, a spokesperson for the department says that after “enhanced monitoring for compliance,” it relicensed the company, and there have been no issues or complaints since. (When contacted, Adoption Advocates’ attorney replied that the company is “unable to respond to your inquiries regarding specific individuals or cases.”)

More recently, in 2018, the Utah department of human services (DHS) revoked the license of an agency called Heart and Soul Adoptions, citing violations ranging from not properly searching for putative fathers (a requirement in Utah) to insufficient tracking of birth-mother expenses. Rules prohibit anyone whose license is revoked from being associated with another licensed entity for five years. But a year later Heart and Soul owner Denise Garza was found to be working with Brighter Adoptions. DHS briefly placed Brighter on a conditional license for working with Garza but has since lifted all sanctions and never assessed any fines.

Enforcement is even harder when middlemen operate as consultants, facilitators or advertisers or under any number of other murky titles that critics believe are sometimes used to skirt regulations. There is little clarity on who is supposed to oversee these more amorphous intermediaries.

Jennifer Ryan (who sometimes goes by “Jennalee Ryan” or “Jennifer Potter”) was first a “facilitator” and is now a kind of middleman to adoption middle-men. Her “national online advertising service” refers expectant parents to lawyers (including her own son), facilitators and other intermediaries; as of November 2020, the company was charging these middlemen fees starting at $18,800 for each birth-mother match (with the idea that the cost is passed on to families). Ryan declined an interview but, in an email, she says she does approximately 400 matches annually. Among the websites Ryan operates are Chosen Parents and Forever After Adoptions, which both include a section that lists babies for adoption, sort of like a Craigslist ad. One example from last August: “AVAILABLE Indian (as in Southeast Asia India) Baby to be born in the state of California in 2021…Estimated cost of this adoption is $35000.”

Many advocates say they would like to see reforms to private adoption in the U.S. Even Yellin, a proponent of private-sector involvement in the adoption space, says there probably ought to be more regulation. But calls for systematic change have remained largely unheeded, and agreeing on exactly what should be done can be difficult.

Some believe the problem could be addressed with greater federal-level oversight—pointing to the foster-care system, which a division of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services helps administer, as an example (albeit an imperfect one). But Liversidge notes that family law has traditionally been a state issue and says that is where fixes should, and will likely need to, occur. She wants to see improvements such as an expansion of mandatory independent legal representation for birth parents, better tracking of adoption data and the reining in of excessive fees.

Illinois attempted to take a strong stand against adoption profiteering in a 2005 adoption-reform act, which barred out-of-state, for-profit intermediaries from engaging in adoption-related activities in the state. But Bruce Boyer, a law professor at Loyola University who championed the legislation, says, “We couldn’t get anyone to enforce it.” Only after much pushing and prodding, he adds, did advocates persuade the state to pursue a case against what Boyer called the “worst” offender: ANLC.

The Illinois attorney general filed a complaint in 2013 alleging that ANLC was breaking the law by offering and advertising adoption services in the state without proper licensing or approval. To fight the suit, ANLC retained a high-profile Chicago law firm, and within months, the parties had reached a settlement. ANLC agreed that it would not work directly with Illinois-based birth parents, but it did not admit any wrongdoing and called the resolution “fair and reasonable.” Boyer disagrees. “They caved,” he says of the state. “There were no meaningful consequences that came from a half-hearted attempt.” The attorney general’s office declined to comment.

What few changes have been made in adoption law are generally aimed at making the process easier for adoptive parents, who experts say tend to have more political and financial clout than birth parents. At the core of the inertia is lack of awareness. “There’s an assumption in this country that adoption is a win-win solution,” says Liversidge. “People don’t understand what’s going on.”

Many proponents of change would, at the very least, like to see private adoption move more toward a nonprofit model. “It’s a baby-brokering business. That’s really what it’s turned into,” says Kim Anderson, chief program officer at the Nebraska Children’s Home Society, a nonprofit that does private adoptions only in Nebraska (with a sliding fee based on income) and which rarely allows adoptive parents to pay expenses for expectant parents.

Whatever shape reform ends up taking—or mechanism it occurs through—advocates say it will require a fundamental shift and decommodification of how the country approaches private adoption. “A civilized society protects children and vulnerable populations. It doesn’t let the free market loose on them,” says Liversidge. Or, as Pertman puts it, “Children should not be treated the same as snow tires.”

Yellin kept working with ANLC as an attorney until late 2018. By then, she says adoption numbers had dropped significantly because of increased competition and a decreasing number of expectant mothers seeking to place their babies. But the company seems to still be very much in the adoption business. During the pandemic, Adoption Pro Inc., which operates ANLC, was approved for hundreds of thousands of dollars in stimulus loans, and its social media accounts suggest it has plenty of adoptive-parent clients. According to data from the search analytics service SpyFu, ANLC has also run hundreds of ads targeting expectant parents. For example, if you Googled the term “putting baby up for adoption” in January 2021, you might get shown an ANLC ad touting, “Financial & Housing Assistance Available.”

Meanwhile, Allan Gindi continues to play an advertising role for ANLC (and to use an “@adoptionnetwork.com” email address). Court documents connected to a bankruptcy case show that, in 2019, Gindi expected to make $40,000 per month in adoption-advertising income. (He says that number was not ultimately realized but did not provide any more details.) Lorber’s LinkedIn profile says that ANLC is a “$5 million dollar per year” business. “And that’s just one family in Southern California,” remarks Speight, who used to work for ANLC and who runs a birth-parent support nonprofit. “Think about all of the other adoption agencies where couples are paying even more money.”

Klupp’s Facebook feed still cycles through “memories” of posts she made when she was placing her son through ANLC. They’re mournful but positive, she says; in them, she tended to frame the decision as an unfortunate necessity that put her son in a loving home. “I thought everything was really great,” recalls Klupp, who has since immersed herself in the online adoption community. What she’s learned has slowly chipped away at the pleasant patina that once surrounded her adoption journey; such a shift is so common, it has a name, “coming out of the fog.”

“They take people who don’t have money and are scared, and they use your fear to set you up with an adoption that you can’t back out of,” Klupp says of the industry. “I’m sure even the parents that adopted my son … didn’t know half the stuff that went on behind the scenes. They probably paid this agency to find them a baby, and that’s what they cared about. And this agency takes this money from these people who are desperate.” Klupp isn’t anti-adoption; in fact, she’s been trying to adopt out of foster care. The problem, she says, is the profit. Today, she believes she has a better understanding of the extent to which ANLC influenced her and now views her decision as, at the very least, deliberately ill informed, if not outright coerced. She says she’s taken to deleting the Facebook posts about her son’s adoption as the reminders pop up—they’re too painful.

“It seems like the agencies have some universal handbook on how to convince doubtful moms,” she says. “I know in my heart that I would have kept my son if I had had the right answers.”

[Link in the notes]

[auroras-blend]

What Matters

Summary: POV from Patience. Starring baby Marilyn, Emilie Marks, and a fishwife.

Patience let out a frustrated huff as she struggled to strap Marilyn into her stroller, who was determined to wail throughout the entire process. “You do this every time,” she snapped, not that her daughter could understand her.

Marilyn always acted as if this was a brand new terrifying experience. “Stop being so damn dramatic,” she huffed as she finally clasped the buckles together.

Her daughter still continued to wail until Patience not so softly popped a pacifier in her mouth, which silenced her quite quickly. She pulled a white lamb plush from the car and gave it to her daughter who clasped onto it with a desperate fervor. It was Marilyn’s very favorite toy, courtesy of the pastor’s wife. She seemed content to just stare at it rather than play with it, which was strange to Patience but it kept the infant distracted, and really, that was all that mattered. She brushed the strands of hair out of her face that had fallen out of her harried bun before sighing and moving to push the stroller towards the store.

Everyone knew everyone and their business in Summerfield, which was why trips to the grocery store always bothered Patience. Marilyn received soft looks and bright smiles whereas she received critical eyes and grimaces, but Patience couldn’t really bring herself to care. She entered the store, the temperature of her body already dropping as cool air blew in her face, a refreshing change from the scorching summer heat. The store already held a myriad of familiar faces, which completely defeated the purpose of coming in so early in the day and hoping to avoid the crowds. “Hello Miss Winslow,” the greeter smiled, “I hope you’re having a nice day today!”

“Just fine, thank you,” she said to be polite though no genuineness could be found in her tone.

She pushed past and immediately set her sights for the produce section, hoping to cool down further. Her green-eyed gaze remained focused on her task dead ahead because if she only looked forward, she could ignore the judgmental looks that several housewives were giving her. It had been about a year since she gave birth to Marilyn but the scandalous event of her birth and Patience’s status as a single mother and social pariah hadn’t faded. Summerfield residents, as friendly as they seemed, were dull people with dull lives who pretended otherwise and sought amusement from gossip. At the moment, Patience and Marilyn were their favorite topics. It seemed Patience was the only woman in town who didn’t hide her dissatisfaction with the fact that she had a repetitive, restricting, and overall mundane life that’s primary stressor came from motherhood. At least I’m honest.

She was unlikable to everyone except her daughter who looked at her with reverence and the occasional hurt when her affection for her mother wasn’t returned. Part of her felt bad because she did know deep down that Marilyn was not at fault, that she was unluckily and violently brought into this world to suffer a miserable existence with a miserable woman.

Marilyn had been nothing but pleasant if Patience were being honest, or as pleasant as a baby could be. Her birth had been quick and much easier than the first, and she had been a courteous five pounds that hadn’t torn apart her mother’s insides. She was easy to love, to everyone except the woman who mattered to her the most. Perhaps Marilyn had some instinct deep down to behave and be agreeable unless her mother decided that she finally had enough of her and do something terrible.

Patience rummaged through the fresh produce, something she hadn’t done in a long time. Without a vengeance to pursue, bridges to burn, and misery to face, she had more time to at least try and take care of herself. Or at least the illusion of caring for herself, as if she actually used the produce to cook instead of having it sit in her fridge for an eternity in favor of eating frozen meals and drinking a few too many glasses of wine or whiskey. She wasn't quite so picky these days.

It didn’t take long to cross most of the tasks off her list and lead herself to the most aggravating part of the store: the baby aisle. There was nothing wrong with the aisle in particular with the exception of her forced motherhood being thrown in her face and the condescending stares from the other mothers shopping for their brood. Nothing wrong at all, she thought bitterly. Thankfully when she arrived, no one was around which settled her nerves about picking out the necessary items for her daughter, specifically formula. It had been a swift decision for Patience to put Marilyn on a formula diet. Just the thought of her child pawing and nursing from her breast physically repulsed her; she had tried the first few days and then vowed to never do it again.

It would be, of course, an unacceptable decision to the other mothers of Summerfield and unfortunately for her, they were about to be privy to that information. Her luck at being the sole presence in the aisle didn’t last long and it just so happened to be when she was picking up the formula that Mrs. Coombs decided to make an appearance and let out a fake laugh, “Patience! How funny to run into you here!”

Funny? I have a damn baby. She pressed her lips into a tight smile, forcing herself to at least look polite. “Look at little Mary-,”

“Marilyn,” Patience corrected as she held the box tightly.

“Marilyn! An even better name. She’s gotten so big, the time just flies doesn’t it?”

Not fast enough. “Sure does,” she lied as she dumped several boxes into her shopping bag.

“She’s really turning into a beauty. She has your eyes, doesn’t she?” she smiled before it became tighter with malice, “Not your hair though…”

Patience could usually brush off the snide comments, but the reminder of the man who put that child inside her made her sick. “Did she get it from her father?”

Patience’s body tensed, her stomach began to roll. “Yes.”

Her reply was short and curt, and by God’s grace, Mrs. Coombs dropped the topic in favor of sending Patience a new criticism. “Oh, formula?” she asked as she stressed the word as if it were the vilest thing in existence, “Are you having trouble? Some women do. It came pretty easily to me, but my sister had to have a lactation consultant.”

The insinuation was there. Bitch. She refused to be ashamed for not letting her daughter nurse from her breasts. It wasn't as if Marilyn was suffering or lacking nourishment in any way, and it's no one's damn business. Patience’s smile turned smug. “Actually, I can but I’m choosing not to breastfeed.”

The disapproving and aghast frown on Mrs. Coombs face made it worth it. She knew she’d be the talk of the woman’s circle of friends, but just the sight of making the woman uncomfortable and being shamelessly confident with her decision made it worth it. Marilyn giggled behind her pacifier, amused by the face of the critical fishwife. “Oh really?” the woman gasped, “Well, there are more benefits if-.”

“How lovely to see you, ladies, here!”

Jesus Christ. Patience sighed and turned around to see Mrs. Marks. “Emilie!” cooed Mrs. Coombs who brushed past Patience and slightly knocked Marilyn’s stroller to the side.

Patience grabbed the stroller to prevent it from hitting the shelves, causing Marilyn to whine as she was jostled in her seat. The two women embraced as Patience ignored the pair, or at least tried to. “Fancy to see you in this aisle! Oh, does that mean there's happy news?” gasped Mrs. Coombs.

“Um...not yet,” she could hear Mrs. Marks say, pain and discomfort in her voice.

“Oh, I’m sure it’ll happen someday!”

“Yes, well, we’re praying that it does,” Mrs. Marks said tensely.

Why does she have so much trouble getting pregnant? I'd switch with her if I could. It seemed cosmically unfair that she was saddled with an unwanted child while the Marks failed in their desperate attempts to have one. There were many times where Patience entertained leaving Marilyn with them one day and never return. She'd be better off with anyone but me. However, whenever she was ready to put Marilyn in the car and drop her off, a pang of religious guilt consumed her. She's your atonement. “Why are you here then if-,”

“That’s not really your business, is it?” hissed Patience who had tired of hearing of her pester the woman.

Mrs. Coombs was a busy body who aggravated her to no end. Patience never truly made an effort to convince the woman of her politeness or that she liked her, but as the pastor's wife, it was Mrs. Marks job to do so. Politeness for Emilie Marks was mandatory, so if she couldn't tell Mrs. Coombs to fuck off then Patience would.

Grey eyes narrowed towards Patience. “Your tone isn’t appreciated.”

“Your questions aren’t appreciated,” Patience snapped, throwing a box of diapers into her bag.

“Now ladies-” Emilie tried to interject.

“Are you capable of being anything other than unpleasant?”

Mrs. Coombs volume wasn’t much louder but it upset Marilyn and sent her into a fit of tears. Great. “See what you did?” Patience huffed as she walked around to grab the pacifier from the floor.

“Are you really going to put that back in her mouth? You know, most mothers comfort their babies when they cry.”

Of course, at that moment, Marilyn began to wail louder. “Mrs. Coombs,” snapped Mrs. Marks, “You’re upsetting the child.”

Patience brushed the pacifier off and although she was tempted to push it back in between her daughter’s lips, she put it in a side compartment and unstrapped her baby. Shame had crept back into her body with the woman’s comment so she reluctantly took Marilyn out and settled her against her chest, patting her back and shushing her. Snot and tears began to stain her dress, and the loud wails pierced her ears until they were ringing. I hate this. I hate it. Stop fucking crying. Just stop. Just stop...Patience herself was starting to feel as miserable as her daughter who upon receiving physical comfort from her mother started to quiet down. It was always such a special treat for the baby that it immediately put her in a good mood.

By the time Marilyn’s cries turned into hiccups, Mrs. Coombs was gone. I don’t want to do this anymore. When Patience turned around, Mrs. Marks was still there helping put her items back into her basket. “You don’t have to-”

“No, it’s alright. I’m happy to,” Mrs. Marks said as she packed the items tightly.

“Thank you,” Patience said in relief.

Mrs. Marks attached the basket on the rack beneath Marilyn’s stroller. She didn’t hate Mrs. Marks. If she were honest with herself, she didn’t really know her or care to know her, but the woman had always been polite and gave her a genuine smile that was free of judgment. She leaves that to God. “Thank you for what you said,” the woman said quietly.

Patience resettled Marilyn on her hip. “Well it wasn’t any of her business,” she said frankly, “She’s too nosy for her own good.”

She found that description quite generous given that there were other adjectives she wanted to use that was inappropriate to say in front of a pastor’s wife. “Poor little girl,” she cooed.

Marilyn blinked tiredly. She was always tired after a big cry and would fall asleep quickly. A redeeming feature. “I see she still has the little lamb,” Emilie smiled and picked it up.

Marilyn made a grabbing motion and clutched it tightly in her chubby little hands. “She really likes it,” Patience noted.

Conversations about baby toys were never really what she pictured herself talking about in this stage of her life, or in any stage really. Motherhood may have been her reality but it was never a topic she wanted to discuss. “Thank you,” Patience added, “But we-,”

“Oh, I’ll leave you to your shopping, but it was lovely to see both of you. You and Marilyn, obviously,” she smiled, sending a veiled insult towards Mrs. Coombs but paused before she pushed her cart forward, “The church has a free nursery if you’d ever like to drop her off. We’re open from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon on weekdays. I run it and would be happy to look after her during the week.”

The news almost made Patience sob with relief. She had to return to work soon and had taken on a second job to get by, but neither made her stay past three. That meant she could have two hours, two blissful hours to myself on her workdays and a day off when she wasn't working. “Oh thank you,” she said with a watery voice.

“Of course. Like I said, I’d be happy to. She seems like such a sweet baby,” she smiled at Marilyn, “You can drop her off next Monday.”

“Next Monday,” Patience nodded as she plopped Marilyn back into her stroller, who thankfully was too tired to protest being buckled in.

With a last smile and farewell, Mrs. Marks disappeared down the next aisle. Patience took a shaky breath and finished her shopping as giddiness rose into her body at the thought of a break from her daughter. She’d have two hours to herself every day, and then an entire day off on Wednesday. She knew Marilyn wouldn’t like it at first but it’d be for the best. As she put Marilyn in the car, she said with a smile in her voice, “It’ll all work out.”

Whether it was to Marilyn or herself, she didn’t know. But that hardly mattered.

[kim-lexie]

record of youth.

seriously when i say i was awaiting this drama, i was WAITING. park bogum’s dramas are always stellar and next level. he knows how to pick them, so as soon as i knew bogummy was on the project you best believe i was counting down the days to the release. they got an incredible cast and this drama did not disappoint. and now that it is over i will miss these characters that i have found myself attached to over these past few weeks. i would 10 out of 10 recommend this gem.

plot synopsis. 

this drama is a record of the moments between a group of people in their 20s. (get it?! basically a record of their youth in their 20s) jeong-ha an aspiring makeup artist with a day-job as a makeup assistant and a youtuber street artist at night. hye-jun an model/aspiring actor, who is deciding what to do with his little time before enlistment. and hae-hyo as hye-jun’s best friend also in the same career field. with this as our backdrop it follows jeong-ha a fan of hye-jun as they meet and grow in their relationship.

thoughts. *spoilers ahead*

i must say that i loved the premise of this one. it was just unique that i was able to see some new sides to this aspiring actor dimension as well as see the side of the makeup industry. but also familiar with the aspects of the family and wanting to do what is best for those around you. 

i thoroughly loved seeing how hye-jun’s family grow into their new role as he became more famous to see that it was not going to go to their heads. his family, and eventually his brother came to find this answer after the shine of it went away. as they stayed in their house, and even hye-jun wanting to do more where he had been planted was beautiful and made me love his character more. 

i cannot say how much i loved hye-jun’s mother. she was the sweetest most precious bean. keeping her husband honest. supporting both of her sons, and encouraging her father-in-law’s new dream. all while working for a well-off family and slaying it. what a queen. we stan. i think that if jeong-ha and her had met at that family dinner (they spent episodes try to plan) it would have been a different story. they would have been the best of friends. because they are both encouraging people with their own dreams to see their people succeed in life. 

i loved the grandfather’s role in all of this. from being quite and timid because of unfulfilled dreams. and hye-jun allowed him to dream and realized that he was not finished yet. to having him go to modeling classes, and get head shots, to winning awards for his modeling after a few years. truly inspiring. and i loved that completed character arc, because we all live for those great shiny stories.

loved his father’s redemption from being critical and cynical and slapping hye-jun at one point to eventually being his father’s manager, to apologizing to his son. yes, yes. and same with his brother, writing malicious comments back saying only i can be rude to my brother and no one else, to asking for forgiveness. 

it was interesting to have the juxtaposition of hye-jun’s family with hae-hyo’s family because the dynamics were so different. and we saw how the two mother’s approached their sons very differently. and hae-hyo’s mother saddened me throughout the drama because of her lack of trust in her son. and when hae-hyo came to find the truth behind his career it devastated him. 

i wish we had seen more of jeong-ha’s family because the relationship with her mother was so drawn and weary i understand why there was not a ton in it. but her father seemed so nice and encouraging of her, i would have loved to seen him more. as well as getting the families together in general. we never got to see jeong-ha meet his mother. and i am so sooooo sour about that. because we all know they would have been the best of friends. 

i feel like jeong-ha’s family explains a lot about her approach to things from her living alone and owning a house of her own at a young age. to the way she wanted to hold on to the friendship with hye-jun. to her ending their relationship because she wanted to not be a burden on him. it kind of all fits. and i wish we had more development from her. she constantly mentions that she loves living unpredictably now because hye-jun literally turned her life upside down and made her grow, which she did grow alongside him. but still she was so dead set on not burdening or sharing how she honestly felt that she didn’t allow herself to fully fall in love. but then again it also speaks to what is love to you? is it never depending on your person and doing it all alone because that is all you’ve known, or is is understanding that you both will have hardships and need to be honest with each other to help one another get through those moments in life...unfortunately she did not see it to be the latter. 

the siblings here took on an important role in this drama. from hae-hyo’s sister hae-na dating his best dude jin-woo, to gyeong-jun taking on new roles and the family realized hye-jun’s importance. they both came to be extremely important in the family relations and dynamics changing. and i must add that i wish we saw more of the relationship between hae-na and jin-woo because they were cute, and i liked them. also while i’m on my soap box i must say that at the end i was kind of wanting min-jae and gyeong-jun to end up together, because they are seriously opposites and they would make a quirky pairing. 

their workplaces were interesting, and i must say that i could have done without all the focus on tae-su, the horrible ex-agent of hye-jun, and his artist do-ha. like we get it you don’t want him to be successful because he dumped you. also could have done with out the focus on the journalist for the tabloid plot like okay we get it you’re out to get our man. you need to get a life. and if we removed these nonsense plots that did not add too much to the overall story of our characters we could have gotten so much more, i.e. a FAMILY DINNER. sorry really just sour about this. 

their relationship was soooo cute. i loved how it developed from her being like ‘nah boo you got it wrong i’m not a fan of you’ to finally owning up and being like ‘yeah, honey you’re the one’ to being like ‘i want to stay friends, and not ruin this beautiful thing’ to hye-jun confessing being like ‘you’re my boo’ to them finally together. it was great, i loved it. wish i didn’t get second male lead syndrome so early on, because you could see that hae-hyo liked her too because she was honest and raw compared to all the people around him, kind of like how hye-jun was with him. 

but yeah it was a great ride, and i freaking knew the writers would screw over the beautiful story i had in my head and have them break up because their timing was off. but in reality i think it would have been fine. like seriously girl, he is enlisting you will be a better person in 2 years no need to fret saying, it’s not our time i want to be a better person because you’re already a better person. so the double standard she put up was there, because our boo was a nobody when she met him. but you know with that open ended ending i totally say they got back together, had a good ole family dinner, everyone got along great and they lived happily ever after. i did love how they added the same scene again at the closing because he was saying goodbye to us for the time period because he was a part of our ‘record of youth’ just as we were in his. 

i must say i kind of liked the time jumps that this drama stacked up. like it was interesting to see the ending the episode prior, then get to see the events from another’s perspective that led to the prior event. kind of liked it in the end. at the start i was really confused, but i caught on eventually. also wish we got more of a time jump into the future with them together, but you can’t always get what you want.

it is also important to mention how much i loved all the guest appearances. like i know that isn’t that important for our characters, but seriously it was uplifting to see the familiar faces every so often in this drama. from park seo-joon, to seo hyun-jin and lee sung-kyung. i thoroughly enjoyed it. also loved seeing the random tidbit of fake dramas that hye-jun was in, like boo i would definitely watch those...

the ost.

‘go’ by my boo seungkwan. we stan because this is literally a gem and i play this all day every day. it’s encouraging and makes me want to smile and jump around. 

‘shine on you’ by whee in. this one delivers all the feels from the precious good moments to the tearful moments. 

‘what if’ by kim jae hwan. THIS ONE. I LOVE IT. this man’s vocals are stunning, and i loved this one. it was beautifully utilized in the drama to express the special moments that they were having. and made me nostalgic for the past moments they had because they did not realize all they had. and makes you want to treasure the now you’re living in. 

‘just you’ by j rabbit. they have such sweet vocals and i loved this dreamy track.

now don’t get me wrong these songs were great, however i would have LOVED a park bo-gum on a track. like seriously. like for real, the voice of an angel would have made a lovely addition.

anyways, i really loved this drama and i tried my best to be cohesive about my thoughts but i’m writing this late the day it ended so i’m still little emotional that it is over. and i shall patiently await for my park bo-gum to come back from enlistment and i shall watch all his dramas once again. 

i will also post my weekly play-by-play because i knew i would have a lot of feelings and thoughts to short through with this one. so if you want you can check it out here. 

[abeypratama]

速度与激情9 F9: The Fast Saga(2021)完整版本

速度与激情9 F9: The Fast Saga-完整版Fast2021完整版速度与激情9 F9: The Fast Saga 2021 完整版速度与激情9完整版本2021FastFAST SAGA完整版速度与激情9 完整版速度与激情9速度与激情9速度与激情9 完整版本F9: The Fast Saga

曾主演过《速度与激情3：东京漂移》的男星卢卡斯·布莱克宣布将加盟《速度与激情7》，据悉，他不仅将加盟第七部，而且已经确定要参演第八部和第九部。这似乎证实了之前媒体的猜测：《速度与激情》的7-9将成为一部新的系列三部曲。

➥PLAY~玩 |✼✮☛ https://t.co/WhnjzfXmA9?amp=1

➥PLAY~玩 |✼✮☛ https://t.co/WhnjzfXmA9?amp=1

发布日期: 2021-05-19 运行时间: 145 分钟 类型: 动作, 惊悚, 犯罪 明星: Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Jordana Brewster, John Cena, Charlize Theron 导演: Sanja Milkovic Hays, Clayton Townsend, Gary Scott Thompson, Neal H. Moritz, Vin Diesel

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In 1889, on November 1 in Gotha, Germany Anna Therese Johanne Hoch, who later would be known as Hannah Hoch was born. Being the eldest of five children, the girl was brought up in a comfortable and quiet environment of the small town. Her parents, a supervisor in an insurance company and an amateur painter sent her to Girl’s High school. However, at the age of 15 Hannah had to quit studying for the long six years to take care of her newborn sister. Only in 1912 she continued her education with Harold Bengen in School of Applied Arts, mastering glass design. As the World War I broke up Hannah returned to the native town to work in the Red Cross. The first years after war the young woman recommenced her studying, getting to know graphic arts. 1915 was highlighted by an acquaintance with an Austrian artist Raoul Hausmann, which grew into the long-lasting romantic relationship and involvement in Berlin Dada movement. For ten years till 1926 Hoch worked in Berlin’s major publisher of newspapers and magazines. Her task was to design embroidering, knitting and crocheting patterns for the booklets. Being on vacation with her beloved in 1918, Hannah discovered ‘the principle of photomontage in cut-and-paste images that soldiers sent to their families’ (National gallery of Art). This find affected greatly on her artistic production, and she created mass-media photographs comprising the elements of photomontage and handwork patterns, thus combining traditional and modern culture. Her prior preoccupation was to represent the ‘new woman’ of the Weimar Republic with new social role and given freedoms. Hoch was the only woman in Berlin Dada, who took part in all kinds of events and exhibitions showcasing her socially critical works of art. Till 1931 she participated in exhibitions but with the rise of National Social regime was forbidden to present her creative work. Till her last breath in 1978 Hannah Hoch lived and worked in the outskirts of Berlin-Heiligensee. The piece of art which is going to be analyzed in this research is ‘The beautiful girl’ designed in 1919–1920. It combines the elements of technology and females. In the middle of the picture one can clearly see a woman dressed in a modern bathing suit with a light bulb on her head which probably serves as a sun umbrella. In the background a large advertisement with a woman’s hair-do on top is presented. Maud Lavin describes strange human as ‘she is part human, part machine, part commodity’ (Lavin). The woman is surrounded by the images of industrialization as tires, gears, signals and BMW logos. A woman’s profile with the cat eyes, untrusting and skeptical, in the upper right corner is eye-catching as well. This unusually large eye symbolizes DADA movement — a monocle, which is present in almost every Hoch’s work. The colour scheme does not offer rich palette of tints, including mostly black, white, orange and red pieces. The photo is surrounded by the BMW circles which add the spots of blue. An apt description of the piece is given in the book ‘Cut with the Kitchen Knife’ and states that it is ‘a portrait of a modern woman defined by signs of femininity, technology, media and advertising’ (Lavin). In other words Hannah Hoch focused on the woman of the new age, free and keeping up with the fast-moving world. The artist promoted feministic ideas and from her point of view urbanization and modern technologies were meant to give hope to woman to gain equality of genders. With this photomontage she commented on how the woman was expected to combine the role of a wife and mother with the role of a worker in the industrialized world. The light bulb instead of a face shows that women were perceived as unthinking machines which do not question their position and can be turned on or off at any time at man’s will. But at the same time they were to remain attractive to satisfy men’s needs. The watch is viewed as the representation of how quickly women are to adapt to the changes. In a nutshell, Hoch concentrated on two opposite visions of the modern woman: the one from the television screens — smoking, working, wearing sexy clothes, voting and the real one who remained being a housewife. The beautiful girl’ is an example of the art within the DADA movement. An artistic and literal current began in 1916 as the reaction to World War I and spread throughout Northern America and Europe. Every single convention was challenged and bourgeois society was scandalized. The Dadaists stated that over-valuing conformity, classism and nationalism among modern cultures led to horrors of the World War I. In other words, they rejected logic and reason and turned to irrationality, chaos and nonsense. The first DADA international Fair was organized in Berlin in 1920 exposing a shocking discontentment with military and German nationalism (Dada. A five minute history). Hannah Hoch was introduced to the world of DADA by Raoul Hausman who together with Kurt Schwitters, Piet Mondrian and Hans Richter was one of the influential artists in the movement. Hoch became the only German woman who referred to DADA. She managed to follow the general Dadaist aesthetic, but at the same time she surely and steadily incorporated a feminist philosophy. Her aim was to submit female equality within the canvass of other DADA’s conceptions. Though Hannah Hoch officially was a member of the movement, she never became the true one, because men saw her only as ‘a charming and gifted amateur artist’ (Lavin). Hans Richter, an unofficial spokesperson shared his opinion about the only woman in their community in the following words: ‘the girl who produced sandwiches, beer and coffee on a limited budget’ forgetting that she was among the few members with stable income. In spite of the gender oppressions, Hannah’s desire to convey her idea was never weakened. Difficulties only strengthened her and made her an outstanding artist. A note with these return words was found among her possessions: ‘None of these men were satisfied with just an ordinary woman. But neither were they included to abandon the (conventional) male/masculine morality toward the woman. Enlightened by Freud, in protest against the older generation. . . they all desired this ‘New Woman’ and her groundbreaking will to freedom. But — they more or less brutally rejected the notion that they, too, had to adopt new attitudes. . . This led to these truly Strinbergian dramas that typified the private lives of these men’ (Maloney). Hoch’s technique was characterized by fusing male and female parts of the body or bodies of females from different epochs — a ‘traditional’ woman and ‘modern’, liberated and free of sexual stereotypes one. What’s more, combining male and female parts, the female ones were always more distinctive and vibrant, while the male ones took their place in the background. Hannah created unique works of art experimenting with paintings, collages, graphic and photography. Her women were made from bits and pieces from dolls, mannequins of brides or children as these members of the society were not considered as valuable. Today Hannah Hoch is most associated with her famous photomontage ‘Cut with the kitchen knife DADA through the last Weimer Beer-Belly Cultural epoch of Germany’ (1919–1920). This piece of art highlights social confusion during the era of Weimar Republic, oppositionists and government radicals (Grabner). In spite of never being truly accepted by the rest of her society, this woman with a quiet voice managed to speak out loud her feministic message. Looking at Hannah Hoch’s art for the first time I found it confusing, because couldn’t comprehend the meaning. It was quite obvious that every single piece and structure is a symbol of the era, its ideas and beliefs. However, after having learned about her life and constant endeavors to declare about female’s right, little by little I started to realize what’s what. As an object for research I chose ‘The beautiful girl’ as, to my mind, its theme and message intersects with the modern tendency: a successful, clever, beautiful and free woman has to become one in no time, cause the world is moving faster and faster. I enjoyed working with this artist as her example is inspiring and is worth following.

[aion-rsa]

Netflix’s Ginny & Georgia: An Excellent Show Undermined by its Race Problems

https://ift.tt/3sSSitt

Marketed as an updated and darker version of Gilmore Girls, the idea of this new mother-daughter duo show, Ginny & Georgia, is instantly appealing. Netflix’s new top 10 show is about 15-year-old Ginny Miller, played by Antonia Gentry, who often feels more mature than her 30-year-old mother, Georgia (Brianne Howey). When the family moves from Texas to a new town called Wellsbury in Massachusetts, Ginny isn’t too keen until she meets her super cute neighbor, Marcus, and his twin sister Maxine. But life is not so simple, and as secrets come to light, things get more complicated.

After finishing the show in 24 hours, I wish I could sit here and write about how compelling it is and how well it portrays that point in teenage life where you’re impulsive, awkward, and nervous as you try to figure out relationships and find yourself. However, while the town of Wellsbury is picture-perfect, Ginny & Georgia is not as it is undermined by a significant race problem, primarily how it deals with its biracial lead.

The show’s failure to deal with its lead character Ginny’s biracial identity makes it hard for me to love all the other great aspects of the show, as much as I want to. Ginny & Georgia’s exploration of coming of age, self-harm, LGBTQ+ relationships, sexual abuse, and being an American Sign Language family is compelling and something I wish was more present on television. Even criminal mastermind Georgia Miller, whose life is full of secrets, murder, and lord knows whatever else, is undermined by the shows tendency to only acknowledge Ginny’s Blackness when dealing with racism. Her race isn’t considered in any other regard, which suggests being Black is nothing more than microaggressions and discrimination, and that racism makes up the entirety of the Black identity. 

“If you had an ass, you’d be perfect”

Ginny’s experience of racism, mostly in the form of microaggressions, is plain for the eye to see, particularly in the comments made by Ginny’s new friends. When her friend Samantha (Romi Shraiter) asks her, “What are you?” and then plays it off as a compliment because Ginny is so “exotic looking,” Ginny’s response is silence. An equal response is given when the same friend fetishizes mixed-race babies by saying, “I’m going to marry a Black man so I can have adorable little mixed babies.” Beyond the fact that this comment is weird, and that the show is in many ways portraying a main character who is struggling with their biracial identity, the show normalizes racist comments by not having Ginny call out her friend. 

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Celebrating Black Voices in Anime with Funimation

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It’s the same situation when Ginny straightens her hair, and Brodie, one of those characters who thinks they’re the funniest person alive but actually just fulfils that stereotypical teen drama douchebag role says, “If you had an ass, you’d be perfect. It’s weird that you don’t.” The use of comments like these in the show aid stereotypes and fetishizations of Black women as objects of desire and the idea that Black women, like me, who don’t have large bums are somehow less Black.

The show attempts to deal with this issue by having Ginny discuss it with her boyfriend Hunter (Mason Temple). Though it is a lovely scene because they start to discuss their experiences of being biracial, it does not address the fact Brodie has just used a racist insult, which is a common occurrence among Ginny’s friends. 

Both of these sequences undermine Ginny’s character, who, when we first meet her, is outspoken and strong as she calls out her English teacher for constructing a syllabus containing mostly white men. The show weakens its lead character when it portrays Ginny as someone who can’t have hard conversations with her friends. 

“Too unconventional”

A particularly striking aspect of the show is Ginny’s interactions with her AP English teacher, Mr. Gitten (Jonathan Potts). Her interactions with him are reflective of a situation most Black people have either experienced or heard about during their education, and yet the way the show handles it is somewhat messy. In Gitten’s first encounter with Ginny, he assumes she is not as well-read as the rest of her (predominantly white) classmates. This is continued when he states Ginny lost the writing competition because her essay was “too unconventional” when he really means it was too Black for him. Never directly discussing the issue Mr. Gitten has with her until the last episode, the moment is the closest Ginny comes throughout the whole show to dealing with the racism she receives, and yet it is one of the most unrealistic portrayals I have witnessed on television. 

Instead of trying to get the teacher punished, Ginny’s approach to dealing with the racism she receives is to blackmail him, saying she’d out him as a racist if he doesn’t give her a glowing college recommendation letter. I can only speak on my experiences as a Black woman who’s faced similar situations, but Ginny’s approach is naïve and an impractical reflection of what racism in school is like for minority ethnicities. The solution to racism is not blackmail. By Ginny choosing to blackmail him instead of telling the school so he can get fired or just have another teacher to write the recommendation letter, it makes her less honorable. 

Also, many of the comments Gitten makes are in front of the class and something he’s been doing for years as Bracia tells Ginny she’s had similar experiences with him. So surely he really wouldn’t have felt that threatened? All in all, Ginny’s approach to dealing with Mr. Gitten’s treatment is shocking and unhelpful as it suggests this is a useful way racism is dealt with. 

“Your bars could use a little work, homie”

The show’s failure to fittingly deal with its biracial lead’s struggles weakens the rest of the show, as it opens the door to messy scenes such as the heavily criticized “Oppression Olympics” scene where Ginny and Hunter throw stereotypes at each other, while Hunter fails to see how Gittens’ treatment of Ginny is racist. While the scene can be criticized for many things, it does well to highlight how all people of color can experience racism, but their experiences are not the same. While Hunter’s experiences are 100% valid, they are not comparable to what Ginny is going through in relation to their English teacher. Hunter’s accusations that Ginny is “causing drama in class” is him painting her in the stereotypical angry Black woman image because she’s calling out discrimination and using her voice. 

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TV

Firefly Lane and the Problem with Aging up and Down

By Rosie Fletcher

The dialogue the argument uses is embarrassing, to say the least, with Ginny saying to Hunter, “Your favourite food is cheeseburgers, and I know more Mandarin than you do, you’re barely even Asian,” while Hunter says, “But I’ve never seen you pound back jerk chicken. The last time I checked, Brodie twerks better than you. And I liked your poem, but your bars could use a little more work, homie. So really, how black are you then?” The entire argument, which consists of stereotypes to prove who’s whiter, is extremely chaotic as it perpetuates this idea that you’re somehow less Black if you don’t know how to twerk or “pound back jerk chicken” whatever that means. And beyond the awful dialogue, the worst bit about it is the situation, which happens in episode 8, is never resolved. It is as if the writers of the show were saying racial identity is something two biracial characters “should” be struggling with, and instead of showing how they do, we’ll just throw this scene in and have them throw derogatory stereotypes at each other. The writing in the scene undermines what could have been a powerful moment which explored both Ginny’s struggle with her identity and the racism she’s experienced since she arrived in Wellsbury. Instead, we’re left with a frustrating scene that only reinforces the show’s inability to deal with a biracial lead character.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

While Ginny & Georgia is a delightfully chaotic show that for the majority of it will have you hooked and on the edge of your seat, its inability to deal with the lead character’s identity seriously undermines it. By not dealing with the microaggressions and discrimination Ginny receives, the show normalizes racism. If there is a season two, I hope the show gets a better handle on Ginny’s identity and what it means to be biracial. 

Ginny & Georgia is available to stream on Netflix now.

The post Netflix’s Ginny & Georgia: An Excellent Show Undermined by its Race Problems appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[dancesdescygnes]

Cute Stuff[TM] about Louis and Antoinette from my own readings

1. 24 July 1771, Ambassador Mercy writes to Marie Antoinette's mother, the Empress Maria Theresa

Mme la Dauphine (Marie Antoinette) reproached M. le Dauphin (Louis Auguste) because of his immoderate taste for the hunt, which was destroying his health, and because of the rough and neglected look that exercise was giving him. M. le Dauphin thought to shorten the scolding by retiring to his apartment, but Mme la Dauphine followed him there and went on discussing in strong terms the drawbacks of his way of life. That language so upset M. le Dauphin that he started to cry. Mme la Dauphine also started to shed tears and the reconciliation was very tender. Mme l’Archiduchesse did not forget that the dispute had begun at Mme la comtesse de Provence’s (sister-in-law); she brought M. le Dauphin back there. M. and Mme de Provence asked whether they were reconciled; M. le Dauphin answered with a very good grace that lovers’ quarrels never last long.

2. The sight of his wife dancing even elicited a wistful comment from the Dauphin who was so clumsy himself. When a court lady praised Marie Antoinette, Louis Auguste replied: “She has so much grace that she does everything perfectly.

- The Journey by Antonia Fraser

3. Louis that summer [July 1773] fell in love with Antoinette; he kissed her, even in public, every evening he arranged for plays to be performed for her privately in his apartment … They walked about arm in arm, and this unusual practice became the fashion[.]

- Louis and Antoinette by Vincent Cronin

4. Fun fact: They've been trying to consummate their marriage as early as 1773 (3 years into their marriage). But it was found later on by Antoinette's brother (after his talk with Louis) that they've been doing it wrong the entire time. On a letter, Antoinette's brother confided that they achieved penetration but after that, Louis stays completely stationary (while inside) and there is no ejaculation. According to The Journey, MA mentions it on a letter to her mother and was narrated in the biography titled The Journey:

During the summer of 1773, the wise counsels of Dr. Lassonne took their effect. Louis Auguste managed to achieve some kind of physical union with Marie Antoinette. Naturally the momentous news was conveyed as soon as possible to Maria Teresa: “I think I can confide to you, my dear Mama, and only to you,” wrote Marie Antoinette on 17 July, “that my affairs have taken a very good turn since we arrived here [Versailles] and that I consider my marriage to be consummated; even if not to the degree that I am pregnant.

- The Journey by Antonia Fraser

5. The real consummation, however, happened on 1777:

On 30 August, no longer an unhappy woman, an ecstatic Queen was able to write to her mother about her feelings of joy—“the most essential happiness of my entire life”—beginning eight days ago. This “proof” of the King’s love had now been repeated and “even more completely than the first time.”

- The Journey by Antonia Fraser

6. In April 1777, Emperor Joseph II paid a visit to the French Court to advice the young King and Queen. At the end of his stay, the heartbroken Marie Antoinette, felt as if her brother's departure "left a void I cannot fill". Fortunately, her husband Louis was present and offered her the most tender consolation. On a letter to her mother, she wrote:

At the time of this departure, when I was most desperate, the King showed me attentions and thoughtful tenderness that I can never forget and which would make me love him if I didn’t already do so.

7. Since this was the court of France, and for the first time there was no royal mistress in sight, sporadic efforts were made to put other women in the King’s way. In January 1778 even Marie Antoinette had braced herself for the King taking a mistress now that their marriage was fully consummated. She promised her brother Joseph in a letter that if there were liaisons, she would do everything to win the King back.

- The Journey by Antonia Fraser

8. "[When Marie Antoinette speaks] I have a thousand times seen [Louis XVI]’s eyes and face light up with a love and enthusiasm which even the most beloved of mistresses could hardly hope to inspire."

- the Baron de Besenval (commander of the Swiss Guards)

9. “I am convinced that if I had to choose a husband from the three brothers, I would still prefer the one heaven gave me: his character is steadfast and although he is awkward, he is as attentive and as kind as possible to me.”

- Marie-Antoinette to Maria Teresa, Dec. 15, 1775

10. During the spring of 1779, the Queen caught the measles and therefore had to be isolated to prevent the transmission of disease. According to a letter from Ambassador Mercy, the Queen, originally, "had demanded out of concern for the King, that he never come to see her". The King, naturally, obliged to this request; however, the companions of the Queen during her isolation stirred up a bit of intrigue by "[daring to] criticize the King’s obedience to the Queen’s wishes so that she became angry at her husband" - probably misleading her to believe that the King's refusal to visit her was a refutation of his devotion to her rather than a show of his respect for her wishes. This malicious scheme unfortunately succeed in convincing the Queen in her vulnerable state so that she became upset with her husband. Mercy says that he tried in vain to reason with the Queen, but it was not only until her tutor and advisor the Abbé de Vermond intervened that the Queen was finally brought "back to her senses". Mercy ends the story with a moving conclusion saying:

"[The Queen] wrote a few words to say that she had suffered much, but that what annoyed her the most was to be deprived for a few days more of the pleasure of kissing the King." The Queen in her own letter shares that she and the King have been "[writing] each other every day," adding that she "saw him yesterday from a balcony outside".

- Mercy to Maria Theresa, Apr. 15, 1779; Marie-Antoinette to Maria Theresa, Apr. 1779

Now about the sad stuff:

• Once, Louis left for Paris while the revolution is heating up in order to smooth things over.

The Queen restrained her tears, and shut herself up in her private rooms with her family. The silence of death reigned throughout the palace; they hardly dared hope that the King would return. The Queen had a robe prepared for her, and sent orders to her stables to have all her equipages ready. She wrote an address of a few lines for the Assembly, determining to go there with her family, the officers of her palace, and her servants. She got this address by heart; it began with these words: "Gentlemen, I come to place in your hands the wife and family of your sovereign; do not suffer those who have been united in heaven to be put asunder on earth."

- Memoirs of Madame Campan

• During the royal family's imprisontment in the Tuileries, an angry mob broke in once.

the Queen was asked if she had been “much afraid.” “No,” she replied. “But I suffered from being separated from Louis XVI at a moment when his life was in danger.”

- The Journey

• In the past, several royalists cooked up a plan in attempt for the escape of MA alone since she was the only one whose life was in danger from the angry Parisians at the time; however,

the Queen had refused to go, saying “avec un grand caractère” (with a great determination) that if the Parisians came to assassinate her, she would die at the feet of the King.

- The Journey

• During MA's imprisonment inside The Temple, she was allowed to keep a degree of liberty. She may visit the gardens whenever she liked and for when she wanted to get some excercise. However, after Louis' death,

"the widow could not eat and would not even take the air because the route to the gardens meant passing the King’s door."

- The Journey

[carole-lombard-screwball-queen]

Carole Lombard (born Jane Alice Peters; October 6, 1908 – January 16, 1942) was an American actress, particularly noted for her energetic, often off-beat roles in screwball comedies. She was the highest-paid star in Hollywood in the late 1930s and in 1999, the American Film Institute ranked Lombard 23rd on its list of the greatest female stars of Classic Hollywood Cinema.

Lombard was born into a wealthy family in Fort Wayne, Indiana, but was raised in Los Angeles by her single mother. At 12, she was recruited by director Allan Dwan and made her screen debut in A Perfect Crime (1921). Eager to become an actress, she signed a contract with the Fox Film Corporation at age 16, but mainly played bit parts. She was dropped by Fox just before her 18th birthday after a shattered windshield from a car accident left a scar on her face. Lombard appeared in fifteen short comedies for Mack Sennett between 1927 and 1929, and then began appearing in feature films such as High Voltage (1929) and The Racketeer (1929). After a successful appearance in The Arizona Kid (1930), she was signed to a contract with Paramount Pictures.

Paramount quickly began casting Lombard as a leading lady, primarily in drama films. Her profile increased when she married William Powell in 1931, but the couple divorced amicably after two years. A turning point in Lombard's career came when she starred in Howard Hawks's pioneering screwball comedy Twentieth Century (1934). The actress found her niche in this genre, and continued to appear in films such as Hands Across the Table (1935) (forming a popular partnership with Fred MacMurray), My Man Godfrey (1936), for which she was nominated for the Academy Award for Best Actress, and Nothing Sacred (1937). At this time, Lombard married "The King of Hollywood", Clark Gable, and the supercouple gained much attention from the media. Keen to win an Oscar, Lombard began to move towards more serious roles at the end of the decade. Unsuccessful in this aim, she returned to comedy in Alfred Hitchcock's Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941) and Ernst Lubitsch's To Be or Not to Be (1942), her final film role.

Lombard's career was cut short when she died at the age of 33 aboard TWA Flight 3, which crashed on Mount Potosi, Nevada, while returning from a war bond tour. Today, she is remembered as one of the definitive actresses of the screwball comedy genre and American comedy, and icon of American cinema.

Lombard was born in Fort Wayne, Indiana, on October 6, 1908 at 704 Rockhill Street. Christened with the name Jane Alice Peters, she was the third child and only daughter of Frederick Christian Peters (1875–1935) and Elizabeth Jayne "Bessie" (Knight) Peters (1876–1942). Her two older brothers, to each of whom she was close, both growing up and in adulthood, were Frederick Charles (1902–1979) and John Stuart (1906–1956). Lombard's parents both descended from wealthy families and her early years were lived in comfort, with the biographer Robert Matzen calling it her "silver spoon period". The marriage between her parents was strained, however, and in October 1914, her mother took the children and moved to Los Angeles. Although the couple did not divorce, the separation was permanent. Her father's continued financial support allowed the family to live without worry, if not with the same affluence they had enjoyed in Indiana, and they settled into an apartment near Venice Boulevard in Los Angeles.

Described by her biographer Wes Gehring as "a free-spirited tomboy", the young Lombard was passionately involved in sports and enjoyed watching movies. At Virgil Junior High School, she participated in tennis, volleyball, and swimming, and won trophies for her achievements in athletics. At the age of 12, this hobby unexpectedly landed Lombard her first screen role. While playing baseball with friends, she caught the attention of the film director Allan Dwan, who later recalled seeing "a cute-looking little tomboy ... out there knocking the hell out of the other kids, playing better baseball than they were. And I needed someone of her type for this picture." With the encouragement of her mother, Lombard happily took a small role in the melodrama A Perfect Crime (1921). She was on set for two days, playing the sister of Monte Blue. Dwan later commented, "She ate it up".

A Perfect Crime was not widely distributed, but the brief experience spurred Lombard and her mother to look for more film work. The teenager attended several auditions, but none was successful.[11] While appearing as the queen of Fairfax High School's May Day Carnival at the age of 15, she was scouted by an employee of Charlie Chaplin and offered a screen test to appear in his film The Gold Rush (1925). Lombard was not given the role, but it raised Hollywood's awareness of the aspiring actress. Her test was seen by the Vitagraph Film Company, which expressed an interest in signing her to a contract. Although this did not materialize, the condition that she adopt a new first name ("Jane" was considered too dull) lasted with Lombard throughout her career. She selected the name "Carol" after a girl with whom she played tennis in middle school.

In October 1924, shortly after these disappointments, 16-year-old Lombard was signed to a contract with the Fox Film Corporation. How this came about is uncertain: in her lifetime, it was reported that a director for the studio scouted her at a dinner party, but more recent evidence suggests that Lombard's mother contacted Louella Parsons, the gossip columnist, who then got her a screen test. According to the biographer Larry Swindell, Lombard's beauty convinced Winfield Sheehan, head of the studio, to sign her to a $75-per-week contract. The teenager abandoned her schooling to embark on this new career. Fox was happy to use the name Carol, but unlike Vitagraph, disliked her surname. From this point, she became "Carol Lombard", the new name taken from a family friend.

The majority of Lombard's appearances with Fox were bit parts in low-budget Westerns and adventure films. She later commented on her dissatisfaction with these roles: "All I had to do was simper prettily at the hero and scream with terror when he battled with the villain." She fully enjoyed the other aspects of film work, however, such as photo shoots, costume fittings, and socializing with actors on the studio set. Lombard embraced the flapper lifestyle and became a regular at the Coconut Grove nightclub, where she won several Charleston dance competitions.

In March 1925, Fox gave Lombard a leading role in the drama Marriage in Transit, opposite Edmund Lowe. Her performance was well received, with a reviewer for Motion Picture News writing that she displayed "good poise and considerable charm." Despite this, the studio heads were unconvinced that Lombard was leading lady material, and her one-year contract was not renewed. Gehring has suggested that a facial scar she obtained in an automobile accident was a factor in this decision. Fearing that the scar—which ran across her cheek—would ruin her career, the 17-year-old had an early plastic surgery procedure to make it less visible. For the remainder of her career, Lombard learned to hide the mark with make-up and careful lighting.

After a year without work, Lombard obtained a screen test for the "King of Comedy" Mack Sennett. She was offered a contract, and although she initially had reservations about performing in slapstick comedies, the actress joined his company as one of the "Sennett Bathing Beauties". She appeared in 15 short films between September 1927 and March 1929, and greatly enjoyed her time at the studio. It gave Lombard her first experiences in comedy and provided valuable training for her future work in the genre. In 1940, she called her Sennett years "the turning point of [my] acting career."

Sennett's productions were distributed by Pathé Exchange, and the company began casting Lombard in feature films. She had prominent roles in Show Folks and Ned McCobb's Daughter (both 1928), where reviewers observed that she made a "good impression" and was "worth watching". The following year, Pathé elevated Lombard from a supporting player to a leading lady. Her success in Raoul Walsh's picture Me, Gangster (also 1928), opposite June Collyer and Don Terry on his film debut, finally eased the pressure her family had been putting on her to succeed. In Howard Higgin's High Voltage (1929), her first talking picture, she played a criminal in the custody of a deputy sheriff, both of whom are among bus passengers stranded in deep snow. Her next film, the comedy Big News (1929), cast her opposite Robert Armstrong and was a critical and commercial success. Lombard was reunited with Armstrong for the crime drama The Racketeer, released in late 1929. The review in Film Daily wrote, "Carol Lombard proves a real surprise, and does her best work to date. In fact, this is the first opportunity she has had to prove that she has the stuff to go over."

Lombard returned to Fox for a one-off role in the western The Arizona Kid (1930). It was a big release for the studio, starring the popular actor Warner Baxter, in which Lombard received third billing. Following the success of the film, Paramount Pictures recruited Lombard and signed her to a $350-per-week contract, gradually increasing to $3,500 per week by 1936. They cast her in the Buddy Rogers comedy Safety in Numbers (also 1930), and one critic observed of her work, "Lombard proves [to be] an ace comedienne." For her second assignment, Fast and Loose (also 1930) with Miriam Hopkins, Paramount mistakenly credited the actress as "Carole Lombard". She decided she liked this spelling and it became her permanent screen name.

Lombard appeared in five films released during 1931, beginning with the Frank Tuttle comedy It Pays to Advertise. Her next two films, Man of the World and Ladies Man, both featured William Powell, Paramount's top male star. Lombard had been a fan of the actor before they met, attracted to his good looks and debonair screen persona, and they were soon in a relationship. The differences between the pair have been noted by biographers: she was 22, carefree, and famously foul-mouthed, while he was 38, intellectual, and sophisticated. Despite their disparate personalities, Lombard married Powell on June 6, 1931, at her Beverly Hills home. Talking to the media, she argued for the benefits of "love between two people who are diametrically different", claiming that their relationship allowed for a "perfect see-saw love".

The marriage to Powell increased Lombard's fame, while she continued to please critics with her work in Up Pops the Devil and I Take this Woman (both 1931). In reviews for the latter film, which co-starred Gary Cooper, several critics predicted that Lombard was set to become a major star. She went on to appear in five films throughout 1932. No One Man and Sinners in the Sun were not successful, but Edward Buzzell's romantic picture Virtue was well received. After featuring in the drama No More Orchids, Lombard was cast as the wife of a con artist in No Man of Her Own. Her co-star for the picture was Clark Gable, who was rapidly becoming one of Hollywood's top stars. The film was a critical and commercial success, and Wes Gehring writes that it was "arguably Lombard's finest film appearance" to that point. It was the only picture that Gable and Lombard, future husband and wife, made together. There was no romantic interest at this time, however, as she recounted to Garson Kanin: "[we] did all kinds of hot love scenes ... and I never got any kind of tremble out of him at all".

In August 1933, Lombard and Powell divorced after 26 months of marriage, although they remained very good friends until the end of Lombard's life. At the time, she blamed it on their careers, but in a 1936 interview, she admitted that this "had little to do with the divorce. We were just two completely incompatible people". She appeared in five films that year, beginning with the drama From Hell to Heaven and continuing with Supernatural, her only horror vehicle. After a small role in The Eagle and the Hawk, a war film starring Fredric March and Cary Grant, she starred in two melodramas: Brief Moment, which critics enjoyed, and White Woman, where she was paired with Charles Laughton. “We would have married,” said Carole Lombard during her interview with magazine writer Sonia Lee for Movie Screen Magazine in 1934 about her relationship with Russ Columbo, the famous singer killed in a tragic accident whose movie and radio career she had been guiding.

The year 1934 marked a high point in Lombard's career. She began with Wesley Ruggles's musical drama Bolero, where George Raft and she showcased their dancing skills in an extravagantly staged performance to Maurice Ravel's "Boléro". Before filming began, she was offered the lead female role in It Happened One Night, but turned it down because of scheduling conflicts with this production Bolero was favorably received, while her next film, the musical comedy We're Not Dressing with Bing Crosby, was a box-office hit.

Lombard was then recruited by the director Howard Hawks, a second cousin, to star in his screwball comedy film Twentieth Century which proved a watershed in her career and made her a major star. Hawks had seen the actress inebriated at a party, where he found her to be "hilarious and uninhibited and just what the part needed", and she was cast opposite John Barrymore. In Twentieth Century, Lombard played an actress who is pursued by her former mentor, a flamboyant Broadway impresario. Hawks and Barrymore were unimpressed with her work in rehearsals, finding that she was "acting" too hard and giving a stiff performance. The director encouraged Lombard to relax, be herself, and act on her instincts. She responded well to this tutoring, and reviews for the film commented on her unexpectedly "fiery talent"—"a Lombard like no Lombard you've ever seen". The Los Angeles Times' critic felt that she was "entirely different" from her formerly cool, "calculated" persona, adding, "she vibrates with life and passion, abandon and diablerie".

The next films in which Lombard appeared were Henry Hathaway's Now and Forever (1934), featuring Gary Cooper and the new child star Shirley Temple, and Lady by Choice (1934), which was a critical and commercial success. The Gay Bride (1934) placed her opposite Chester Morris in a gangster comedy, but this outing was panned by critics. After reuniting with George Raft for another dance picture, Rumba (1935), Lombard was given the opportunity to repeat the screwball success of Twentieth Century. In Mitchell Leisen's Hands Across the Table (1935), she portrayed a manicurist in search of a rich husband, played by Fred MacMurray. Critics praised the film, and Photoplay's reviewer stated that Lombard had reaffirmed her talent for the genre. It is remembered as one of her best films, and the pairing of Lombard and MacMurray proved so successful that they made three more pictures together.

Lombard's first film of 1936 was Love Before Breakfast, described by Gehring as "The Taming of the Shrew, screwball style". In William K. Howard's The Princess Comes Across, her second comedy with MacMurray, she played a budding actress who wins a film contract by masquerading as a Swedish princess. The performance was considered a satire of Greta Garbo, and was widely praised by critics. Lombard's success continued as she was recruited by Universal Studios to star in the screwball comedy My Man Godfrey (1936). William Powell, who was playing the eponymous Godfrey, insisted on her being cast as the female lead; despite their divorce, the pair remained friendly and Powell felt she would be perfect in the role of Irene, a zany heiress who employs a "forgotten man" as the family butler. The film was directed by Gregory LaCava, who knew Lombard personally and advised that she draw on her "eccentric nature" for the role. She worked hard on the performance, particularly with finding the appropriate facial expressions for Irene. My Man Godfrey was released to great acclaim and was a box office hit. It received six nominations at the 9th Academy Awards, including Lombard for Best Actress. Biographers cite it as her finest performance, and Frederick Ott says it "clearly established [her] as a comedienne of the first rank."

By 1937, Lombard was one of Hollywood's most popular actresses, and also the highest-paid star in Hollywood following the deal which Myron Selznick negotiated with Paramount that brought her $450,000, more than five times the salary of the U.S. President. As her salary was widely reported in the press, Lombard stated that 80 percent of her earnings went in taxes, but that she was happy to help improve her country. The comments earned her much positive publicity, and President Franklin D. Roosevelt sent her a personal letter of thanks.

Her first release of the year was Leisen's Swing High, Swing Low, a third pairing with MacMurray. The film focused on a romance between two cabaret performers, and was a critical and commercial success. It had been primarily a drama, with occasional moments of comedy, but for her next project, Nothing Sacred, Lombard returned to the screwball genre. Producer David O. Selznick, impressed by her work in My Man Godfrey, was eager to make a comedy with the actress and hired Ben Hecht to write an original screenplay for her. Nothing Sacred, directed by William Wellman and co-starring Fredric March, satirized the journalism industry and "the gullible urban masses". Lombard portrayed a small-town girl who pretends to be dying and finds her story exploited by a New York reporter. Marking her only appearance in Technicolor, the film was highly praised and was one of Lombard's personal favorites.

Lombard continued with screwball comedies, next starring in what Swindell calls one of her "wackiest" films, True Confession (1937). She played a compulsive liar who wrongly confesses to murder. Lombard loved the script and was excited about the project, which reunited her with John Barrymore and was her final appearance with MacMurray. Her prediction that it "smacked of a surefire success" proved accurate, as critics responded positively and it was popular at the box office.

True Confession was the last film Lombard made on her Paramount contract, and she remained an independent performer for the rest of her career. Her next film was made at Warner Bros., where she played a famous actress in Mervyn LeRoy's Fools for Scandal (1938). The comedy met with scathing reviews and was a commercial failure, with Swindell calling it "one of the most horrendous flops of the thirties".

Fools for Scandal was the only film Lombard made in 1938. By this time, she was devoted to a relationship with Clark Gable. Four years after their teaming on No Man of Her Own, the pair had reunited at a Hollywood party and began a romance early in 1936. The media took great interest in their partnership and frequently questioned if they would wed. Gable was separated from his wife, Rhea Langham, but she did not want to grant him a divorce. As his relationship with Lombard became serious, Langham eventually agreed to a settlement worth half a million dollars. The divorce was finalized in March 1939, and Gable and Lombard eloped in Kingman, Arizona, on March 29. The couple, both lovers of the outdoors, bought a 20-acre ranch in Encino, California, where they kept barnyard animals and enjoyed hunting trips. Almost immediately, Lombard wanted to start a family, but her attempts failed; after two miscarriages and numerous trips to fertility specialists, she was unable to have children. In early 1938, Lombard officially joined the Baháʼí Faith, of which her mother had been a member since 1922.

While continuing with a slower work-rate, Lombard decided to move away from comedies and return to dramatic roles. She appeared in a second David O. Selznick production, Made for Each Other (1939), which paired her with James Stewart to play a couple facing domestic difficulties. Reviews for the film were highly positive, and praised Lombard's dramatic effort; financially, it was a disappointment. Lombard's next appearance came opposite Cary Grant in the John Cromwell romance In Name Only (1939), a credit she personally negotiated with RKO Radio Pictures upon hearing of the script and Grant's involvement. The role mirrored her recent experiences, as she played a woman in love with a married man whose wife refuses to divorce. She was paid $150,000 for the film, continuing her status as one of Hollywood's highest-paid actresses, and it was a moderate success.

Lombard was eager to win an Academy Award, and selected her next project—from several possible scripts—with the expectation that it would bring her the trophy. Vigil in the Night (1940), directed by George Stevens, featured Lombard as a nurse who faces a series of personal difficulties. Although the performance was praised, she did not get her nomination, as the sombre mood of the picture turned audiences away and box-office returns were poor. Despite the realization that she was best suited to comedies, Lombard completed one more drama: They Knew What They Wanted (1940), co-starring Charles Laughton, which was mildly successful.

Accepting that "my name doesn't sell tickets to serious pictures", Lombard returned to comedy for the first time in three years to film Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941), about a couple who learns that their marriage is invalid, with Robert Montgomery. Lombard was influential in bringing Alfred Hitchcock, whom she knew through David O. Selznick, to direct one of his most atypical films. It was a commercial success, as audiences were happy with what Swindell calls "the belated happy news ... that Carole Lombard was a screwball once more."

It was nearly a year before Lombard committed to another film, as she focused instead on her home and marriage. Determined that her next film be "an unqualified smash hit", she was also careful in selecting a new project. Through her agent, Lombard heard of Ernst Lubitsch's upcoming film: To Be or Not to Be (1942), a dark comedy that satirized the Nazi takeover of Poland. The actress had long wanted to work with Lubitsch, her favorite comedy director, and felt that the material—although controversial—was a worthy subject. Lombard accepted the role of actress Maria Tura, despite it being a smaller part than she was used to, and was given top billing over the film's lead, Jack Benny. Filming took place in the fall of 1941, and was reportedly one of the happiest experiences of Lombard's career.

When the U.S. entered World War II at the end of 1941, Lombard traveled to her home state of Indiana for a war bond rally with her mother, Bess Peters, and Clark Gable's press agent, Otto Winkler. Lombard was able to raise over $2 million in defense bonds in a single evening. Her party had initially been scheduled to return to Los Angeles by train, but Lombard was anxious to reach home more quickly and wanted to fly by a scheduled airline. Her mother and Winkler were both afraid of flying and insisted they follow their original travel plans. Lombard suggested they flip a coin; they agreed and Lombard won the toss.

In the early morning hours of January 16, 1942, Lombard, her mother, and Winkler boarded a Transcontinental and Western Air Douglas DST (Douglas Sleeper Transport) aircraft to return to California. After refueling in Las Vegas, TWA Flight 3 took off at 7:07 p.m. and crashed into "Double Up Peak" near the 8,300-foot (2,530 m) level of Potosi Mountain, 32 statute miles (51 km) southwest of the Las Vegas airport. All 22 aboard, including Lombard, her mother, and 15 U.S. Army soldiers, were killed instantly. The cause of the crash was determined to be linked to the pilot and crew's inability to properly navigate over the mountains surrounding Las Vegas. As a precaution against the possibility of enemy Japanese bomber aircraft coming into American airspace from the Pacific, safety beacons used to direct night flights were turned off, leaving the pilot and crew of the TWA flight without visual warnings of the mountains in their flight path. The crash on the mountainside occurred three miles outside of Las Vegas.

Gable was flown to Las Vegas after learning of the tragedy to claim the bodies of his wife, mother-in-law, and Winkler, who aside from being his press agent, had been a close friend. Lombard's funeral was January 21 at Forest Lawn Memorial Park Cemetery in Glendale, California. She was interred beside her mother under the name of Carole Lombard Gable. Despite remarrying twice following her death, Gable chose to be interred beside Lombard when he died in 1960.

Lombard's final film, To Be or Not to Be, directed by Ernst Lubitsch and co-starring Jack Benny, a satire about Nazism and World War II, was in post-production at the time of her death. The film's producers decided to cut part of the film in which Lombard's character asks, "What can happen on a plane?" out of respect for the circumstances surrounding her death. When the film was released, it received mixed reviews, particularly about its controversial content, but Lombard's performance was hailed as the perfect send-off to one of 1930s Hollywood's most important stars.

At the time of her death, Lombard had been scheduled to star in the film They All Kissed the Bride; when production started, she was replaced by Joan Crawford. Crawford donated all of her salary for the film to the Red Cross, which had helped extensively in the recovery of bodies from the air crash. Shortly after Lombard's death, Gable, who was inconsolable and devastated by his loss, joined the United States Army Air Forces. Lombard had asked him to do that numerous times after the United States had entered World War II. After officer training, Gable headed a six-man motion picture unit attached to a B-17 bomb group in England to film aerial gunners in combat, flying five missions himself. In December 1943, the United States Maritime Commission announced that a Liberty ship named after Carole Lombard would be launched. Gable attended the launch of the SS Carole Lombard on January 15, 1944, the two-year anniversary of Lombard's record-breaking war bond drive. The ship was involved in rescuing hundreds of survivors from sunken ships in the Pacific and returning them to safety.

In 1962, Jill Winkler Rath, widow of publicist Otto Winkler, filed a $100,000 lawsuit against the $2,000,000 estate of Clark Gable in connection with Winkler's death in the plane crash with Carole Lombard. The suit was dismissed in Los Angeles Superior Court. Rath, in her action, claimed Gable promised to provide financial aid for her if she would not bring suit against the airline involved. Rath stated she later learned that Gable settled his claim against the airline for $10. He did so because he did not want to repeat his grief in court and subsequently provided her no financial aid in his will.

[bigdaddyomega]

The Nunz: Chapter 1

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far, far, far, far away, there was a church. This church was far different from an ordinary church. If one were to pass by, they probably would have never expected it to be a church. The appearance of the building seemed very old and rundown. Most were surprised that there were people still living in it. Though it was still very active. The yard and the greenery was indeed a very beautiful sight to see. The pond was perfectly clean where fish and many other small creatures were able to swim freely. The grass was perfectly cut and the flowers began to bloom. Which meant that spring was beginning to come.

Despite the beautiful sight of everything, Alyssa Nelson hated this place. It made her sick to her stomach just to look at it. She despised the way that the building looked. She felt that she would be living under terrible conditions during her stay at this place. If she could go back in time, she would have tried to convince her mom to not even think about sending her to this place that she believed was so horrid. She observed who she assumed were humans wearing silver masks and all black outfits playing a game of football with one another. She believed that they looked intimidating and already decided that she wanted nothing to do with them.

"Mom, do I really have to do this?" Alyssa asked her mom as she turned to look at the older version of herself.

"Yes, it's for your own good." Mrs. Nelson replied to her eighteen year old daughter. Alyssa shook her head.

"But I'm eighteen years old. I shouldn't have to go to rehab." She disagreed.

"It's not rehab. It's an alternative program for you to better yourself. And I am sending you here because you are eighteen. I don't want you to go down the wrong path and end up dead when you're twenty. That's my worst fear." Mrs. Nelson explained. Alyssa could hear the worry in her mother's voice and that made her feel extrmely uneasy.

"They always say that one time won't hurt, but that could not be further from the truth. I want you to better yourself. Just give this place a chance, Alyssa." Her mom said. This was the last time she could convince her child that this was what was best for her. The only response that her daughter gave was to roll her eyes and get out of the vehicle. At this point she knew that she no longer had a choice. All hope was lost for her. She popped the trunk open and began to get all of her belongings out with the help of her mother. Luckily, Alyssa was able to carry it all with both of her hands.

Meanwhile, a girl the same age as Alyssa was still sitting in the car in front of them. She observes the entire area. She admires the beauty of it all. But hates the fact that she has to be here with a passion. Like Alyssa, she felt that she had done nothing wrong. Or at least nothing horrible to where she needs to be here. Her father stared at the spitting image of himself in disgust. He most definitely believed that she deserved to be here. He wanted her to change. He just didn't want the responsibility of helping her to change.

"I hope that you get something out of however long you need to be here. So that you will never do what you did again." He told his daughter in a stern tone. She didn't mind him talking to her in this tone at all. In fact, she wanted to get out of the car so that she could get the hell away from him.

"Alright, later dad." Were this girl's departing words from him. She stepped out of the car and slammed the door to the passenger seat just to spite her father. She opens the back seat of the car and starts to take out each trash bag containing her belongings one at a time. The attention of those who are outside is now on her. Not a single one of those ghouls could take their eyes off her. Some were admiring her beauty. Others were judging by the way that she carried herself. Fire, the smallest ghoul of them all, could not help but to laugh. He did his absolute best to hide it by pretending to cough, and clearly that did not work. His best friend Aether shook his head.

"Dew, Don't laugh, it's not funny." Aether criticized. However, Fire just could not find the strength to stop.

"I can't help it!" Fire almost screamed and began to become hysterical. Those around him could see the tears of laughter streaming down his eyes.

"I really don't get it. She couldn't just ask somebody if she could borrow a suitcase?" Rain commented.

"I bet you she's too poor!" Swiss said. All of the ghouls looked at each other and began to laugh in unison. Fire was right, it indeed was very comical.

The other girl made it to the front of the convent without her father. She wanted to do this alone. It was also too late to want her father with her, he had already driven off. There was no turning back from here. She was officially stuck. Both Alyssa and her mother stare at the girl. Regardless of them judging her, she gave them a smile. Before anybody could say anything, the door opened to reveal a petite aging woman who had long gray hair that was tied back. Though she was aging, she was still very pretty and presented herself very professionally.

"Hello. I'm Sister Imperator, and I'm the director of this institution." The older woman introduced herself. She held out her hand to Mrs. Nelson first. They both shook hands and Sister gave her a smile. This smile was almost too nice. It had the potential to be deceptive.

"Hi, I'm Adele and this is my daughter Alyssa." Mrs. Nelson introduced the two of them. Sister Imperator then shook Alyssa's hand giving her that same smile and turned to the other girl.

"I'm Star. Nice to meet you." The other girl was finally able to reveal the name that she had given to herself just before being here. Sister Imperator furrowed her brows.

"I'm sorry, there has to be a mistake of some sort. I didn't get the name of Star in anyone's paperwork." She stated out of confusion. Star had to think of an answer. She couldn't stand her real name and believed that now was her chance to get away from it.

"Ok, that's just my nickname. If you read my paperwork thoroughly, you would know that my real name is fucking awful. So please, just call me Star." The young girl practically begged. The only instant response that Sister could give was to nod after she shook her hand.

"I understand completely. My real name isn't all that great either. But anyways, it is nice to meet you all. We are so happy to have you join us. Come inside and I'll show you around the convent before we make any final decisions." She said and reentered into her own home. All three of the other women followed her inside. All of their expectations of what this place was going to be were now gone. The interior of this place was absolutely stunning. The entire place was brightly lit due to the row of crystal chandeliers. The pillars surrounding the second floor looked as if they were just built in. The checker printed tiled floor was probably just cleaned minutes before they entered.

Sister Imperator showed them every inch of the inside of the building. From the cafeteria that was empty at the moment, but it was a very clean place. She also showed them an example of the rooms which they are going to be staying in. The king sized beds made both girls tired just by the sight of them. They did not have to lay in them to know that they were extremely comfortable. Even their bathrooms were very luxurious. However, nothing could beat the chapel. This entire area of the large building was the most beautiful of them all. The stain glass windows reflected many colors into the room and behind the altar was a large cross. Alyssa and Star had never seen a crucifix so big in their lives.

"As you all can tell, we are a very Christian organization. We do our best to help late adolesence and young adults to better imporve themselves in order to go out into the real world in just under two years." Sister Imperator explained as she opened the back door which lead to the outside of this place. Everyone followed her. Alyssa and her mom seeming normal, and Star, her eyes were so wide due to thinking about how she may not get out of here until she's twenty. All three women enjoyed the sight of the outside. Mrs. Nelson was observing from a critical view. But the girls were more interested in the football game going on between the ghouls.

"One of the ways of improvement that we have observed throughout this entire program is having at least two hours of physical activity every single day." Sister added her commentary once again. All of them watched as a nameless ghoul named Mountain had the ball in his hands. He was trying to throw it, but another ghoul named Swiss was blocking him from doing so.

"Swiss, move!" Mountain yelled in a very annoyed tone. However, Swiss did not respect his request and actually did the exact opposite. Swiss made the wise decision to kick Mountain in the ballsack. This was the worst feeling in the world for ghouls and humans alike. Mountain held onto his crotch area as if he was holding on for dear life. The only female ghoul out there at the moment took notice of what had happened. Cumulus was probably one of the most caring individuals of anyone in this place. Not only that, but anyone who came into contact with her found her to be adorable.

"Blow the whistle! Blow the whistle!" Were the only words that Mountain could say at the moment. Cumulus did just that.

"Half time!" She called out. Everyone groaned out of annoyance because one of the two teams was on the verge of winning.

"Typical." Swiss shook his head. He kicked Mountain in that same area again. But this time the pain was a lot worse than the previous kick.

"Let me ask you something, if this is such a Christian envirionment, then how come all of them over there are wearing devil masks?" Mrs. Nelson inquired.

"Oh well, it's one of the forms of punishments that we have here. That would mean that they comitted a mortal sin." Sister replied. Mrs. Nelson nodded even though she may not have agreed with that. It seemed that this was the end of the entire tour, and it was now time to make the decision whether or not Alyssa would be staying there. Alyssa was hoping and praying to the god that she doesn't believe in, that her mother has changed her mind.

"So, the last thing that I need to go over with you is pricing. I have the bill right here for you to make the final decision." Sister went into her jacket to take out an average piece of paper. Mrs. Nelson took it and her eyes nearly came out of their sockets as a result of reading the price.

"So, this is the price per year, correct?" She asked.

"No. Actually per week." Sister replied. Mrs. Nelson turned to her daughter and then placed her signature on the bottom of the paper. At this moment, Alyssa was officially doomed. She hated this feeling more than anything. She felt that she was about to have a heart attack.

"I'll pay for it the best way that I can, even if that means me getting a loan. But please help my daughter to improve. That's really what I want for her." Alyssa's mother said. Sister Imperator placed her hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry about that, she's in good hands with us." Sister reassured her. Alyssa and her mother shared one last hug with each other. This was the last embrace that they would have with one another for a long time. Potentially two years if her mother could not afford another flight to come see her. Her mother told her that she loved her as they left each other's embrace. Alyssa didn't tell her mother that she loved her back. In fact, she wanted nothing to do with her at that moment. She wondered how her mother could say that she loved her but send her to a place like this.

Once her mother had driven away, Sister Imperator's smile completely disappeared. She was now completely serious. It was almost like she had mutated right before their eyes. It scared both girls because they had no idea what to expect next.

"Alright bitches, listen up. Almost everything that I had said was complete and utter bullshit. I really could care less about your well being. I only do this program because I love my money. So if you two can keep your goddamn mouths shut for two years, then maybe your life won't be so miserable here!" She explained in a very feisty tone.

"So, this isn't a church?" Star wanted clarification. Out of all the question to ask, she asked that one.

"It is, just not a Christian church." Sister Imperator answered. Star nodded and then she tried to figure out what kind of church it really was.

"Now, you two should be escorted to your rooms. Cardinal!" Sister Imperator directed. Now the girls had their hopes up. Only because they saw how comfortable the beds were and only wanted to get at least an hour of sleep at the moment. A young looking man appeared suddenly. He was wearing all black and his light brown hair was neatly in place while the hat was able to stay on top of his head. Both of the girls thought he was sort of odd looking.

"Cardinal, this is Alyssa and Star, they are new potential sacrifices. Could you please escort these ladies to their new rooms?" Sister Imperator requested.

"Of course." Cardinal Copia answered and motioned for the two young women to follow him. Copia lead them back inside along with all of their stuff. When he noticed all of the luggage that they had, he was reminded of what needs to be done.

"Oh, I almost forgot. I need you to leave your belongings right here." He said. Both girls gave him a confused stare.

"What? Why?" Alyssa questioned.

"You're not allowed to have anything personal here. Anything that you need we'll provide for you." He explained.

"So then what's going to happen to my shit?" Star asked.

"You'll get it back when you're released." He said. Both of the girls dropped their stuff on the floor and displayed as much attitude as they could.

"You're making this shit sound like a prison." Star commented.

"Shut up and follow me." Cardinal Copia ordered and continued walking. Both of the girls followed him and now felt empty without carrying all of their belongings. He leads them down to a dark stairway. For them it was very scary. Star was wondering what the hell they needed to go into the basement for. Because that was what this place was, a basement. The further down they went, the more spearated from the sunlight they became. It took them about five total minutes to make it to the floor. It was cold and made of pure concrete. Alyssa jumped as soon as she saw the pentogram spray painted red on the floor. She didn't really know why she was so scared of it. It was only a geometric shape. But to her, there was just something so eerie about it. Star looked down as well and the symbol did not even phase her on the outside. But on the inside she was just as scared.

"So creepy." Alyssa whispered. Star nodded agreeing with her. Cardinal Copia stopped at a door on the side wall and took out an entire ring of many keys. Somehow he was able to pick out the right one to unlock the door. When the door opened, he motioned for the two of them to go inside. When they stepped in, neither of the girls were impressed. There were just two rows of twelve beds on each side. The only light source that they have is a single lightbulb in the middle of the ceiling. They both looked extremely disappointed.

"You're not going to tell me that this is our room." Alyssa protested.

"Pick a bed." Cardinal Copia said and closed the door from there. Both Alyssa and Star heard the sound of a click before the footsteps leaving the basement. That one click scared both girls to death. Alyssa immediately sprinted over and tried to turn the knob of the door. She couldn't. Neither of them could even try to break the door down. Both turned to each other with anxiety taking over the both of them.

"Shit. I hate to break it to you, but we're locked in." Alyssa revealed.

Author’s Note: wasn’t that shitty as fuck? Yeah I agree. But this is the first chapter of my first Ghost fanfic. As I said in my previous post, this is on my Wattpad but I’m going to post it on here. Enjoy regardless and I love y’all.💀❤️