#my two 70-something coworkers will take me out to shows and dinner I fucking love it

[xxxvomitboyxxx]

[guccifloralsuits]

girl.........when u gonna rec some cm fics??? help a sis out!!

These are all Moreid, Hotchreid or no main pairing so heads up lol. I don’t read self-insert. I’ll try to tag the tumblr author’s blogs i know but i’ll prob miss a few (srry) 

GENERAL WARNING: please read the tags & ratings bc some of these have multiple TWs. I’ll try to tag here but also CM has some...uh. dark content. Graphic depictions of violence & ya know, murder. So be safe & take care of yourself.

Completed Works/One-Shots:

You Reap What You Sow by BloodiedRose // One-Shot // 6k // Elle & Spencer friendship, morcia side-pairing // took me a sec to get into but holy FUCK

Elle Greenaway suddenly transfers to the D.C. department. She tries to keep her head down, but that's hard to do when she has to get used to a new city, adopts her traumatised coworker, and is being haunted by her own personal Graveling.

A Dead Like Me au (but no knowledge of the show is required).

The Ghosts That Should-Have-Been by Kibbers // Completed // 17k // Hotchreid // TW: Suicide Attempt // The writing on this is insane. Kinda abstract but in a way which just works. I actually cried reading this

Hotch said, “You’re keeping score, just like Owen.”

If Spencer had been keeping score, the world was winning. The rolled eyes, the disinterested gazes, the way they spoke to him only when they wanted something. Only when they wanted notebooks read at an inhuman rate or statistics they could use for the profile, for a bet, for the delight of having them at all. If Reid was keeping score, he had the right to do so if only to prove to himself that he deserved to feel a little hurt. He deserved to step in front of a bullet to save a kid that felt the same way he did.

an ice white candle, lit by Lilaciliraya // One-shot // 2.5k // Moreid // TW: implied childhood sexual abuse

He fails his gun qualification because the administrator is male this time and he stands just a little too close. He hates that he is 23 years old and he cannot stop the way his hands shake in the presence of an unlikely possibility.

(or) The hardest thing that Spencer Reid has ever had to do is learn how to stay warm.

Visiting Hours by Word_Clay // one-shot // 5k // no main pairing // TW: threats of rape, dissociation, homicidal ideation // prison-arc, so well written

Getting more and more intense. Got to fall deeper in to beat them. I’ve lost friends before, but not like this; not in a box where I have no control—or do I?Starting to think like them; starting to survive like them. I’m here because I made a choice.What if that means I don’t get out alive?

Indispensable by Deejaymil // Completed // 40k // Hotchreid // this fic wrecked me lol it’s fine im fine

Dave's a damn good guardian angel, one of the best. And being one of the best means he gets the worst jobs: the important, the clumsy, the reckless, the difficult-to-keep-alive. The indispensables. But he's never before quite had anyone like Spencer Reid.

Within the first two seconds of meeting his new charge, the kid gets hit by a car; it really only goes downhill from there. His only consolation is that Emily is having just as much trouble with her new charge, Aaron Hotchner.

If only they could somehow combine their assignments...

He’s All That by rchr // One-shot // no pairing // 6k // criminally underrated i’ve read it like 70 times // bonus for Morgan’s POV // Garcia being a queen

"One does not simply make over the good Dr. Reid. A true makeover is all about sowing the seeds."

Sunflowers and Daisies by Agib, starsandsupernovae // @ag-ib & @rxsienbloom  // Completed // 12.5k // Moreid // Penelope being a queen (again) // I’m always a bitch for a Hanahaki Disease AU and this one especially

Derek is, without question, unfailingly in love with Doctor Spencer Reid.

Blueberry Syrup by dilaudiddreams // @m0rcia // One-shot // 1.5k // Moreid // Fluffy af actually all comfort & barely any hurt //

"Listen, uh...do you think I could maybe...take you out...sometime?”

Spencer frowns. “What do you mean?”

“Snipe you. No. What do you think? To dinner or something.”

Spencer wakes up in Derek Morgan's bed. He tries to sneak out without waking him.

He fails, and he winds up staying for breakfast out of common courtesy (and maybe something else).

Set season 1. Tooth-rotting sweet.

Following a Bright Shiny Thing by travelinthedark // Hotchreid but genuinely the whole team’s dynamic is what shines in this // One-shot // 5k // yes it has a lot of kudos // yes it deserves all of them

Wherein Reid feels like 6th grade girl, the girls squeel from time to time, and there are little blue drinks. 

WIPS I’m Keeping Up With: 

Dreams are Only Blue by themetaphorgirl // @themetaphorgirl​ // Alex Blake & Spencer Reid // last update: first week of October // TW: child neglect

AU. Nine-year-old Spencer Reid is brilliant, but he's too young to fully grasp the trauma threatening to bury him. Alex Blake buried her nine-year-old son and accepted that she just wasn't meant to be a mother. The BAU team takes on a case that ends up throwing them together, and Spencer is sent to live with Alex and her husband, and everything changes.

(this is the Spencer Blake AU)

Where Have You Bean All My Life? By agib // @ag-ib // Moreid // last update: the end of September

It's rare enough that anyone on the team has to take on undercover work for more than a single night, and even more uncommon that the CIA happens to be splitting a case with the FBI.

So, really, Morgan shouldn't complain. But he does, and he's wholeheartedly dedicated to hating this assignment up until the damn college kid, who looks like he survives on coffee alone, bustles into the café.

Full Series I Rec:

Undercover Pretty Boy by 898700 (ghostwriter) // Completed // Moreid leaning? // Undercover CIA model AU which inspired the whump moreid 5k I have written & will maybe one of these days post (rippppppp) 

Ag-ib’s Whumptober // Ongoing // general TW bc dark themes for Whumptober

Appalachian’s Whumptober // @appalachianapologies​ // Ongoing // general TW bc dark themes for Whumptober

Happy reading!

ps: I actually wrote a moreid (Ex-CIA undercover model!Reid) one shot too if that’s something you’d be interested in!!

[lady-olive-oil]

Work Out: Chapter 2

Writings || Florian Index || MTC ||

What up, what up! It’s ya girl Liv here with another chapter of Work Out. In this chapter we’ll go deep into Geneva’s past and her favorite past time. Let me know if ya wanna join the Lil Nasties Squad. I also added 2 new characters to the roster, one is Josephine Montoya-Wade (in MTC) and the other one, well you’ll see soon. Thanks for reading! Stay tuned from scenes for our next episode. Skating visuals linked in bold.

WC: 3.4K [I’m starting to think each chapter will be this long]

Warnings: suggestive themes, dirty flashback if ya squint

Tag Team, Lil Nasties: @maddiestundentwritergaines || @sparklemichele || @designerwriterchic || @honeychicana || @chaneajoyyy || @jojolu || @dc41896 || @titty-teetee || @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove || @ljstraightnochaser || @mimigemrose || @crushed-pink-petals || @fumbling-fanfics || @madamslayyy

The sounds of 70’s to 00’s music rumbled through the rink, as skaters young and old all came together for one night in solidarity. For those who can skate that is. Others like myself however, have been in the game for years.

“Come along and ride on the fantastic voyage.” I couldn’t help but sing along to the sounds of my childhood. Seeing friends of old and new in the rink made me feel at home again. Not like good old nostalgia to make you feel at peace.

“Is that Jimmy and Trinity? The franchise let them have a break before the big match? That’s new.” Destiny got my attention by noticing two old friends of mine from the past.

I was a trainer for WWE in Orlando, years ago. I have met the past; present and the future of the company come in and out of those doors. It was a tremendous job to have right out of college, that I will forever cherish. I’ve grown close to most of everyone from all rosters. I left due to some personal reasons.

“Yeah it is. Let’s go say hi.” Maneuvering through the busy crowd I tapped the glow queen herself, and was met with an excited squeal. Thus rewarded with a loving hug with just enough force.

“Gege! It���s am so glad to see you. How’ve you been girl?” Upon giving Destiny and Cynthia their hugs as well, Jimmy and Jey both hugged us all in a group hug.

“I’ve been well, about to be blessed with a divorce soon.” Taking a swig of my Angry Orchard Rośe, I heard Trinity chuckle.

“You finally went through with it. Proud of you little sis.” Jimmy commended me, with Jey nodding in agreement.

“Thanks Uce, It’s been a long time coming too. Trust and believe me, Dede and Cyn are throwing me a divorce party. What better city to do it in, than Atlanta?” You better believe I was looking forward to that party. Nothing was going to keep me away from it.

“You know I’ll be there. Even if I have to drag Jimmy with me.” Trinity nugged her husband, who was in a deep conversation with his twin over which food is better: bacon double cheeseburger vs mozzarella sticks.

“Huh? Uh yeah Atlanta seems cool.”

“That’s funny because last time I remember, you weren’t going for my good sis to move to the ATL.” I arched a brow in mock curiosity, causing Jimmy to blush a tad.

“At first I was but then I realize she needs a lot of family around no matter what. Plus Georgia and Florida ain’t far, so we came to an agreement.” Placing a kiss on how wife’s head, made all of us smile in pure joy.

“Y’all are sickeningly cute. Let’s go skate, I gotta get my groove on.” Lacing up my white skates, the ones with the hot pink wheels, and neon green laces on them, I saw a pair of Jordan’s come into view.

“Well well well, look who showed up.” Leaning against the table, giving a glance over

“Couldn’t stand my cousin up now could I?” Michael  showed his pearly white teeth, before giving me a hug. Looking up behind him I see Florian in all his glory.

His tight black v-neck shirt; with matching jeans and red polo sneakers just made him irresistible. His hair and beard were clean cut, and what set it off was his gold link chain around his neck. If I’m being completely honest here y’all, at some point I plan on yanking on that gotdamn chain and-

“Hello gorgeous.” His deep voice broke my inner thoughts and just melted my insides. Making my body feel all warm and giddy. This man does things to me already.

“Well hello there handsome. I see my cousin let you come out and roll with the big dogs huh?” Smirking a bit as I skated around him on the rubber glow in the dark floor.

“Actually he didn’t want to come, I dragged him. He wanted to stay in all day and watch Netflix.” The way he laughed was even a magical tone. Like you could be hugged by a velvet blanket, by a cozy fire in the middle of winter.

“Oh? Damn Baraki, you don’t wanna spend time with ya cousin? I’m hurt.”

“I’m here aren’t I? Besides, had to break out my skates from retirement and help Florian buy his from Amazon. Turns out, the dude here owns a pair, without my knowing” He shrugged and stuck his tongue out at me when I flipped him off. Feeling glad that the rink had given us the party section to have us somewhat away from fans. Yet a few had asked for pictures, and I didn’t mind taking them for them.

“Yeah yeah. Anyway, Florian do you know how to skate?” I asked gently.

“Little bit. Haven’t had the time to in a while, just been training more often.” His reply was honest and sincere. Man why isn’t her dating anybody already?

“Oh really? Well I wouldn’t mind teaching you a bit.” The slight bite on my bottom lip, caused Florian to smirk at me before taking a sip of his Heineken.

“I’m sure you could.” He mumbled just enough for me to hear, letting me hold his beer so her could tie his skates up.

His arms bulged with every movement, a vein popped a few times and it just made my body hum in desire and need. That was until I felt my phone vibrated, I gave him back his beer, and watched as he skated with Michael over to the Dj booth. Checking my phone for a few updates from friends and fans of my work, I received a message from Cassie that she had arrived.

Cassie was also another childhood friend of  mine who had no issue with telling you how it is. Knowing that she moved back to the city as well, made it all better for me to have friends. My phone buzzed again, letting me know a message came again. This time I was worried. Re-reading the message, I felt my face scrunch in confusion.

Cassie: Uh Geneva don’t be alarmed but a certain blonde walked in.

What was she talking about? Responding as fast as I could, I looked around the section and saw nothing.

Me: who?

Looking at Trinity, who nodded her head in the front direction of the rink.

Trinity: she devil

Me: oh fuck

The she devil in question, was another former trainee of mine at the facility back in 2016, when I had started. She is one of the major causes of my divorce; Mandy Rose. I don’t see what the WWE universe sees in her anyway. All the while I know what I did see; Jake’s dick in her in our bed.

“Watch my back.” I told the girls, and they all looked towards where I was skating at. They soon followed me when they knew immediately where I was going. The memories came flooding back.

I haven’t spoken to Mandy sinch I quit. It was around April of last year, Wrestlemania season, when everything went down and I had filed for divorce 2 weeks later. That was the final nail in the coffin of my marriage with Jake, and I couldn’t take it anymore. With all the blatant disrespect; the awkward silences when I asked him about the finances of our joint accounts; the secret rendezvous he’d have coming home late, the high expense charges and the lying.

I thought he was different from all the others but that was lie, a bold face lie. We got married right after graduation, in 2014, two years later I started working in Orlando. The first full year on the job I introduced Jake to Mandy. It had been a whirlwind to work for WWE with my medical degree, to make sure the superstars were in tip top shape. With the constant bickering, physical altercations and accusations he threw at me, about sleeping with one of my coworkers I had to put out marriage on pause that same year.

A year of separation had put my mind into perspective and think about what I wanted out of this marriage. We had agreed to meet up at our house, I was staying at Cynthia’s at that time, for dinner to catch up. I still had a key to the condo, it was in my name, and I looked all over the house for him. What do I see walking up the stairs? Mandy riding Jake like no tomorrow. He tried to save his ass by running away from me, as I waved my steel bat at him. Mandy was long gone and laughing by then.

Putting in my resignation was hard but I had to do it. Now more than ever, I was focused on me and only me. Moving back home to New York was just the beginning. During the first few months, filing for divorce, I did go on a few dates. Only a few guys came home with me, none of them satisfied the itch I craved. Maybe Florian could be the one to fix that.

Trying not to fall while skating through the crowd, I made it to the group that just came in. Sonja Deville sported me quick and pulled me into a tight embrace. The death glare I set straight towards Mandy could be picked out of a much bigger crowd.

“Geneva! It’s been too long. How’ve you been?”

Keeping my composure I returned Sonja’s gesture.

“I’ve been well, been well. Working on my personal trainor thing, keeping the lights on. I’m always busy, plus going back to school so yeah.”

I made it my priority, to keep my bond strong with Sonja, after I left the company. When I told the MMA fighter about the scene I witnessed, she couldn’t fathom it either. She promised to keep an eye out on Mandy for me as well.

She was one of the first people, besides my crew of course, to message me about the sly matching posts on Instagram, between Florian and I. She wished us nothing but luck and invite her to the wedding in the future.

“I hear ya. I hear ya. Just to let you know, I did keep- ah hell.” An exaggerated sigh escaped Sonja’s lips, causing my face to contort in confusion.

“Uh something wrong?” I asked curiously, seeing her visibly gulp.

“Want me to be honest?”

“I expect nothing from a woman who kicked my ass in practice back in Orlando.” Earning a soft chuckle from her, she sighed and turned me around to the scene.

“That little bitch.” The growl that erupted in the back of my throat, made Sonja go wide eyed.

“Geneva-”

Before she could even finish that sentence, a let my anger skate me towards Florian. I was already attached to him and I didn’t want Mandy to ruin that for me. She was touching all over him; feeling him up, touching his face, shoving her silicone bean bags in his face and just being her trashy self. The look of discomfort shown on his face, but soon shifted once I came into view.

“Hey Florian, ready to go skate?” I intervened so fast, that you could see steam coming out of Mandy’s ears.

“Well lookie here, It’s the hag. Listen honey, he doesn’t want to skate with the likes of you. He’s having fun talking to me. Isn’t that right Florian?” Moving her hand on his chest, you could see the disagreeable expression on his face. Upon removing her hand from his chest, he stood by me and I felt my body temperature erupt in euphoria and triumph, as if I had won.

“Well I was here to skate with Geneva and her friends.”

Mandy sneered at me with her fake lips and tosses her bleach blonde hair.

“Fine, but this isn’t over Geneva. May the best woman win. Oh and Florian, I’ll catch you later.” Being the snake that she is, she leaned up on her tippy toes and placed a kiss on his cheek, before leaving with her friends. I wanted to claw at her face so bad, yet I’m surprised Florian held me back.

“It’s Genevieve to you.” I gritted through my teeth.

You see, lately I’ve been talking to Florian about myself, opening up a bit more, getting to know one another better and such. I had mentioned Mandy in the conversation, how she was one of the causes of my divorce, and how she tried to one up everyone. He knew her through a friend of theirs, they chatted and had a night together.

Although she got too clingy for  him after that and it’s not in him to just let a woman go after a night, but he needed to be away from her. By the time this all transpired, it was before his practice scenes for Creed. That’s when I met him on set a month later.

“I’m sorry that happened Geneva. Nor did I know she was coming either.” He tried to sooth and keep me calm. I had never been consoled by another man who wasn’t my father or my brothers.

Glancing up at Florian I saw hope; dedication and devotion. Some qualities I loved in any man, but this man here was something else. Collecting myself together, I took a breather and skated away from him on to the rink floor.

“It’s all good Flo.” The way I said his nickname, caused his face to heat up in embarrassment. The action caused his sweet smile to appear as he leaned against the rock wall, watching me groove to the music in place for a bit. He was entranced by just a little movement.

“So I hear that you’re, Queen of skating huh?”

“Maybe so. If you can keep up with me during this song or the next I’ll go on that date.”

“Wait wait, for real?” He arched a brow, as I nodded.

“Foreal. I’ll go on a date with you if you can keep up.” Sending off a wink before I skated off to the jumping sounds of reggae music. Moving my hips to the rhythm, I kept eye contact with him as I move to the beat.

My hips have a mind of their own, as I float across the floor and take off my jacket. I managed to hand it to Cynthia as I skated around to hand it to her and I kept going. I always felt at home here, it was never a dull moment.

Upon hearing the song change over, to Rock the Boat by the ever so great Aaliyah,I felt a pair of strong hands grace my hips. I didn’t think he’d catch up to me.

“Guess who?” His warm voice graced my left ear, and sent chills through my body, as we grooved to the music in sync. Moving my hips on instinct against him, rolling in tandem with his hands around the rink.

“So Flo got rhythm. So tell me, how do you know how to skate?”

“A movie you mentioned, that was your favorite. May have picked up a few pointers.” Grabbing my hand on cue, he twirled me around before bring me back to his strong, broad chest. I stand corrected, I was in heaven.

“You watched Roll Bounce? And you listened to me too.”

“And I’ve been skating since I was 10. So that’s just a bonus.”

Dancing on him with the music changing, made the tension grow hotter and more sensual. Lost Without You started playing and I followed Florian’s movement this time around. Hearing his gentle voice singing in my ear once more, I began to sing along with him. I haven’t felt this much emotion in so long, I’m starting to feel like this was meant to happen. The smooth gentle rocking, made me feel like I was floating. We were floating. I felt safe in his arms more than I thought. I could feel his rigid muscles through his shirt on my back, making me hold back a moan.

I know he could feel the connection as well. The grip on my hips told me otherwise. Placing my hands on top of his, I laced our fingers together before turning to skate backwards.

“White boy got some moves. I like it, you can keep up with me.” He twirled me around a bit before holding me against his chest again. I leaned my head back to look up at him a little, just to place a kiss on his chin.

“That’s not all I can do.” The deep baritone bass of his throat made me want to jump his bones right then and there.

“Oh I bet.” I teased him back by rotating my ass against him, earning a low growl to erupt from his chest. Gege can play too Flo.

The Dj let everyone know that it was time to roll out, and to drive safely. Rolling off the floor, we met up with our group and planned the next move of action to extend the night. The rink was starting to close up soon, so we all met in the parking lot.

“Girl we saw you and Florian getting down like an old southern couple.” Cynthia nugged me, giving me a sly look.

“Y’all were doing the damn thing.” Destiny winked and caused me to laugh a bit.

Cassie high fives me before heading to her car.

“Geneva, I’ll catch you later this week aight? Gotta get up for work in the morning. I’ll see if I can bring Josephine to the meeting.”

Sending her my love my regards, I placed my skates in the back of my Range Rover.

“So y’all good for some bar hopping? I know this great spot along the jersey shore.” Ryan mentioned while looking up the directions.

“I can’t. I have class in the morning and a test, I need to be sober for. Sorry guys.” Gently replying I smiled up at the crew before shrugging.

“Dang maybe next time. Oh what about our monthly couples game night? How about Monday, Geneva’s?” Destiny suggested as she headed towards her Jeep renegade.

“Couples game night? Sounds intriguing, I’m in. I’ll bring Johari, you in Florian?” An enthusiastic Michael was all anyone could handle.

Glancing over at me, he smirked gently.

“Yeah I’m down. Geneva, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class for our date. See y’all around.” Placing a kiss on my cheek, I sighed heavily and bit my lip. This man was gonna be the death of me. The action caused him to chuckle adorably.

“Deal. See you tomorrow Flo.” Kissing his cheek, I saw his face heat up again. Seeing him walk away with my cousin, I let out a soft groan.

“Girl, you are sprung.” Cynthia smirked at me while Destiny let out a gut busting laugh.

“She got it bad.” Destiny couldn’t help herself.

“I will say this; I hate to see him go, but I love to watch him leave. His ass is sculpted like a god.” I fanned myself in the process.

Hugging my friends goodbye, before getting into my car and driving home, I glanced down at the sound of my phone going off. Glancing down for a split second, I saw the notification. I had received a text message from Florian.

Making it home safely I got ready for my shower and for bed; tying down the massive mess of my 4c curls in a silk scarf, I finally read the message. Leaning against my room door, I read it over and over again, feeling all giddy.

Florian:

Can’t wait for tomorrow night gorgeous. I promise it’ll be worth it. You deserve the best and I plan on delivering. Sweet dreams my queen.

This man knew how to charm his way through anything. Getting back on track, I kept staring at the message. I had to reply and not be rude. So I kept it short and sweet, yet tasteful.

Me:

Looking forward to what you have in store handsome.

“Damn Florian. My heart is yernin for ya love..” singing gently to myself before getting into the shower, I felt powerful. Maybe this is my chance to finally be happy. To finally be free from my chains of the past. This whole turning over a new leaf thing, won’t be so bad after all.

[thatemoredlion-archive]

[I am going to apologize again for lack of content lately. I know this isn’t a personal blog by any means, but not only do I feel like I owe an explanation to you all, but honestly my friends on here are currently some of the only people I trust. 

Being honest, my mental health has been shit. Not only because my schedule bounces between days and graves so I get no solid sleep schedule. Not only because my dad’s traumatizing death has triggered severe PTSD (fortunately the carpet in the bedroom got entirely replaced today so there’s no longer a huge chunk of carpet missing where he died). But unfortunately my exes are causing a lot of unnecessary drama and stress in a time where I am truly raw and don’t need it. 

What’s sad is my ex-girlfriend was highly involved in the passing of my father. She wanted to be there to support me, and now to due a heinous lie, she wants nothing to do with me. Normally, I wouldn’t care. Exes don’t always get along. But this lie is so far from the truth that it’s driving me mental, and I’m convinced the only reason it’s happening is because my ex-boyfriend was pissed I cut him out entirely while I kept her around, and he wanted to eliminate any risk of her leaving him for me. 

It all started on my ex-girlfriend’s birthday. Being the nice person I am, I reached out. I got a conversation about how “no one is doing anything for her birthday because no one cares.” I told her I would do something for her when I was back in town from Seattle. I asked her about dinner plans she does every year and was told it wasn’t happening because everyone had work. I found out later that it was happening, and called her out for lying. I was first told by her that she didn’t want me to know because I had plans that weekend and she didn’t want me hurt - I was then told it was because I’m a “stalker”, which made no sense - her and I had barely spoken since the funeral (which was almost two months ago). Maybe once every five days, if even. It turns out she claims I was a stalker because I “asked my friends details about her life.” First off - I didn’t. My friends are her friends and would tell me stuff whether I asked or not. Second - I’m the one that broke up with them and I think they tend to forget that. Why would I stalk someone I intentionally left for being abusive and didn’t want to look back??

So, they all go to her birthday dinner. Mind you, my ex told my best friend the night previously that she wanted no drama and not to bring me up. Guess who goes against her own word and brings me up? Turns out my other ex (who she is still dating) starts crying and saying that I pushed him into sexual activities while we were dating. Non-consensual sex? He’s basically calling me a rapist. The irony? Anyone who knows me knows I was disgusted by him. I only dated him because I had strong feelings for our other partner, and her for me. Which sure, makes me shitty, but definitely not a rapist. I wouldn’t even kiss him or tell him I loved him so he didn’t feel led on. 

I want to say the irony is that he was always sexual with me. Within a month of us dating he sent  me dick pics I never asked for, and continued throughout the course of our relationship. One when all I said was ‘cute’ because I wanted him to know it made me uncomfortable, he threw a fit that I didn’t call him sexy and didn’t want him physically. In fact, one of the last things he said to me after the break up was “I’m glad you told me because I just got a new packer and that would have been awkward.” To me that heavily implies that he would have sent me more pics. I have so many texts where he would tell me about nasty dreams about me or talk about how much he wanted my dick. I would screen cap this to show my girlfriend, who was entirely disgusted by his behavior towards me. Many of my friends have been appalled by how he talked about me or acted towards me. Hell, early on with us dating he sent me photos with a dildo up his ass - a dildo his girlfriend of seven years didn’t even know he owned. He would touch and grope me at cons and at their house around our girlfriend and everyone around me would see my discomfort and that I never reciprocated. My girlfriend heard me make up a thousand excuses (dysphoria, sickness, stomach cramps). I would pick up extra work shifts on days him and I were supposed to hang out so I didn’t have to be alone with him - all my coworkers knew that’s why I was working 70 hour weeks. I spent many hours at work crying because of how pressured I felt by him and how I didn’t want to be around him. When I backed off he started complaining how he missed my kisses, how I didn’t want him, and how he wanted to kill himself for it. My girlfriend told me he was catching on and I had to “pretend to like him so I didn’t lose her.” On nights I had work, I would only sleep on her side of the bed because I didn’t like sleeping by him. My dick move here, but I even told him once I wasn’t physically attracted to him, listed why, and told him that was why I never wanted sex. He sobbed about it to our girlfriend and brought it up to me often. He would take my shirts without me knowing and admitted to jerking off to it. He wanted to get me alone at cons so our characters could have sex. And a final kicker on this list? For my birthday, he made me a coupon book - one was for a quickie and one was a personal favor with a wink face. 

Him and I fucked around twice over the span of two years. Oral sex. He told me our girlfriend wasn’t allowed to know - of course I told her. TMI, but the first time he told me I was the “best person he tasted.” The second time he hurt me but I was scared to tell him so I jokingly asked if he was bored and he said “I could do this all day.” That’s why I avoided being home alone with him - I felt pressured. I felt responsible for his life. And the kicker? A week into dating, he pushed my girlfriend and I into a threesome, in which we both admit to being traumatized by. 

My ex-girlfriend knows all this and was witness to more than half, yet she believes him. She has been claiming for seven years that he’s abusive, and has wanted to leave him, yet believes him. She saw him send me twenty-five texts begging for me back the day after the break up. She saw him try to be the one to come to my house when my dad died and saw him break down, worried that I hated him. But now he’s claiming that I was abusive, manipulative, and pushed him for sex. And she believes him. 

She told my best friend she hopes she never sees me again. She’s telling whoever will listen how horrible I am. This is a girl I wanted to marry. Who I gave everything to. So yeah, my mental health is fucked. I’ve been confused and heartbroken about how she believes this when there is so much evidence against it. My own PTSD keeps flaring up because I have been assaulted four times, so to be accused of something that I know damages lives immensely is appalling. My anxiety is through the roof that they’re going to turn everyone against me. I’m scared to run into them and them do something vindictive. 

So yeah, I haven’t been well. I’m a train wreck on top of being a train wreck. I’ve had no muse, no motivation, all I want to do is hide under the blankets and sleep it all away and never wake up until this shitty dream is over. So, that’s my long story. Thanks for listening to me and being good friends that know I’m above all this toxic bullshit.]

[lichfucker]

you reblogged that yesterday but 48 & 49

48. Talk about how your day went

oh boy okay my day today was A Lot and I’ll include some of yesterday both bc this was yesterday’s meme and bc it’s relevant 

I only work 3 days a week and when I’m working I crash at my cousins’ apartment so I don’t have to commute in from jersey every day. there are only 2 other people in the office with me and our boss works out of another office way uptown so we rarely actually speak to her face-to-face

when I went in this week I fully prepared to be in the office tuesday, wednesday, and thursday, and my cousins’ sons had just come back from camp and wanted to see me so we made dinner reservations for last night, y’know, with the full intention that I’d stay over afterwards and then come home after work today

then yesterday afternoon like an hour before work ended my coworkers realized they were set to have a meeting w our boss uptown and, between travel time and our boss’ unceasing ability to talk, it would probably take like 5 hours (the meeting was at 11, I get there at 10, and we leave at 5) so they’d be out all day and there was no point in me even coming in to the office so I might as well just work from home. that’s cool with me, I’ll just catch a late bus after dinner I guess

but since both of them were gonna be tied up all day, I, the lowly intern, would have to run the entire website for the day. I’d have to publish the drafted articles (they didn’t teach me how), cross-post them to facebook and twitter, probably write up a curated piece or two, and do all the editing and database work I’d be doing anyway

so I woke up today prepared for Death

I woke up at 9:30-ish and a little after 10 I texted one of my coworkers and asked just a quick clarifying q abt how the day was gonna go and you know what she told me???????? the meeting was fucking canceled

that’s fine, less work for me to do, but now I’m alone in this house bc my dad is on a plane to texas and it’s just gonna be me sitting alone in the basement staring at an excel spreadsheet for 7 hours trying not to put my head through the window

the work I was doing, on any other day, would’ve taken me maybe 4 hours, tops. by the time 5 pm rolled around I’d barely even scratched the fucking surface. why?

my computer decided to be the slowest piece of shit I’ve ever seen it be. it has never worked that poorly ever. it would take 3 minutes to load a single page, 2 more for it to register that I’d scrolled or clicked something, excel crashed nearly every time I tried to input any information, at one point I opened up the task manager to see what the fuck was going on and EVEN THE TASK MANAGER STOPPED RESPONDING !! WHERE IS MY GOD NOW

on top of all of this my tattoo has been fucking burning I wanna scratch it so bad the itching is ruining my fucking life oh my god JUST HEAL ALREADY

at like 10 after 5 I put my work away I couldn’t fucking do it anymore I had to walk away before one of us broke

oh also boss called me at one point because she couldn’t remember when or how much she last paid me :^)

I listened to both episodes of til death do us blart twice while I was working and it did not help

mmm then I listened to the taz finale and now I’m here and it’s almost 9 pm I’m still in my pajamas and today I have eaten half of a slice of pizza and a bag of m&ms my body is sewage

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

I wanna be a tv writer. I am going to be a tv writer. one day I’ll run the room on my own series and it’ll be good, yo, it’ll be really fucking good. it took me so fucking long to get to a place where I can say with full conviction that I am good at the thing I love, I am good at the thing I want to do with my life. I know that I am.

god I just wanna stay in new york like if you’re gonna work in tv in the us you’re either gonna be in la or new york and it’s like 70% la 30% ny and if a show based in la wants me then fuck me I’m gonna fuckin take it, but I want so fucking badly to stay in new york. I don’t have a west coast temperament, I hate the heat, I can’t drive, and I don’t want to fucking be 3 time zones away from everyone I care about. I don’t want to be 3 time zones away from a decent fucking bagel.

and y’know somewhere along the way I’ll meet a girl I guess and she’ll actually like me and we’ll make a life together, just the two of us and our hairless cats, quasar and ozymandias. but that part is negotiable. the rest of it??? I think I’d die without

[livingbreathingnerd]

#1 through #150

No rest for the weary, huh? Alright, here we go…

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

I honestly don’t remember. Probably somebody from church or something.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Shy…

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My future girlfriend/wife

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Generally, yes. Don’t piss me off though.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

I should hope so! Good thing I don’t drink :P

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Aside from certain physical attributes, kindness, positivity, and faithfulness are very attractive. High intelligence is a must and musical and/or artistic ability is a plus. :) Oh, and good work ethic. Definitely.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

It depends… we’ll see.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

My INTJ bestie is the first one who comes to mind.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Not with people I’m very close to (like INTJ). If I don’t know someone that well, I’ll tend to shy away from the topic. Depends on the person, really.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

INTJ bestie

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Gotcha.”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

I like way too many songs to narrow it down. Lately, these songs have been in my head:A) Rainbow Connection (learning to play that on guitar)B) Surfer Girl (ditto)C) Cheerleader (Pentatonix version)D) Aozora no Rhapsody (Theme of Kobayashi-San Chi no Maid Dragon)E) Various songs from the Hamilton soundtrack

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

If we’re friends, family, or I have a crush on you, I love it.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Idk, I’m skeptical

15. What good thing happened this summer?

It’s still too early to say! My day trip to Brown County State Park was fun.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

The last one I kissed romantically? No.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Sentient life? It’s possible, but I’ll believe it when I see it.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I don’t really take baths.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Most of them are fine. The ones living on either side of us both have pools and they’re SO annoying. I can rant about them another time though.

21. What are you bad habits?

Staying up way too late when I know I have to get up early the next morning.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Yes! I just get to do it as often as I’d like.

23. Do you have trust issues?

Kinda…

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Coming home and taking a nap after work.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My skin is kinda sensitive, so it tends to get red and itch, and I still break out with acne, so yeah.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Hit the snooze button and sleep for nine more minutes. :P

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Eh, maybe a tad darker, but not much. I just don’t like the redness.

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My brother, INTJ, and a few other friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Ha.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Definitely. It’s kinda cheesy, but it’s kinda a life goal of mine.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yup. Wear one everyday at work.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

No one. Threesomes are a no-no.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

How about no :P

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Let’s see, throughout my school life, I have played softball, basketball, swimming, golf, tae kwon do, and Brazilian jiu jitsu (in college). I’ve been wanting play golf again lately, but I don’t have the time or money.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

TV. Don’t take away my music.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Yes…

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing. That’s why there’s an awkward silence in the first place :P I try to make some kind of small talk.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

My dream girl is about my height. She is kind, loving, faithful, encouraging, intelligent, and sweet. She’s funny, and she has a beautiful singing voice and can play another instrument too. I’ve been attracted to different physical appearances, but brunettes and blue or green eyes are my weakness. She’s fit, but also has some curves.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

I don’t really like to go shopping, but I tend to shop at Kohl’s for clothes and I like walking around comic book stores, book stores, candy shops, and toy shops. (Yes, I am very much a kid at heart)

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Well, I’ve been out of high school for five years now…

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Generally, yes. Depends on who the person is and what exactly they did. Abusive/violent people typically don’t deserve a second chance in my opinion.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

It either means I’m focused on whatever I’m doing, don’t feel like talking at the moment, or I’m not comfortable around you yet to be talking to you a whole bunch. Rarely, it can also mean that you fucked up and I’m pissed.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Sometimes. I try to at work.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer Space. The bottom of the ocean seems like hell with some of the creatures living there.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

The knowledge that I need to get up or I’ll be late for work.

46. What are you paranoid about?

Do you want a list or what?

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nope again

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

If I did, do you really think I’d tell you?

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Gray, I think?

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Sometimes.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My height. I hate being confused for a kid.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

*Most Interesting Man in the World voice* I don’t always wear makeup, but when I do, I prefer Revlon. Stay beautiful, my friends.

54. Favourite store?

Barnes & Noble, I guess

55. Favourite blog?

Don’t really have one.

56. Favourite colour?

I like greens and blues

57. Favourite food?

I like sandwiches a lot. And pizza. And Italian food.

58. Last thing you ate?

A brownie

59. First thing you ate this morning?

I didn’t ._. My lunch was the first thing I ate today.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I won my school spelling bee in sixth grade :)

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Nope. I’m a good girl 😇

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope.

63. Ever been in love?

Yes? I’m not sure anymore.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

I was nervous, I was seventeen, it was kinda awkward, and my girlfriend broke up with me the next day. Wonderful.

65. Are you hungry right now?

Yeah. I’ll probably have dinner soon.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Tumblr friends are real friends, what are you talking about? :P I do talk to my Tumblr friends more often than I get with my real-life friends anymore.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Facebook

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

No

70. Names of your bestfriends?

Kyle (INTJ)

71. Craving something? What?

A nap

72. What colour are your towels?

Either light brown or blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Usually one or two

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Only if I’m really upset anymore.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

Too many

75. Favourite animal?

I love so many… but I like tigers :)

76. What colour is your underwear?

Uh… *checks* dark gray

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Rainbow sherbet (so gay)

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

White with purple and navy blue stripes

80. What colour pants?

Blue jeans

81. Favourite tv show?

Avatar: The Last Airbender

82. Favourite movie?

Umm… I really like Disney movies and action/adventure movies

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean Girls (haven’t seen the other)

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls (haven’t seen the other)

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

The one that doesn’t even go here.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory!

87. First person you talked to today?

One of my coworkers

88. Last person you talked to today?

My mom

89. Name a person you hate?

This bitch who bullied me for a couple of years in high school.

90. Name a person you love?

My mom

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Trump.

92. In a fight with someone?

No

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

Eh, like one or two pairs

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Uhhhh at least six

95. Last movie you watched?

Going in Style (it’s hilarious)

96. Favourite actress?

Don’t have one

97. Favourite actor?

Don’t have one

98. Do you tan a lot?

Never

99. Have any pets?

Sadly, no :(

100. How are you feeling?

Tired and hungry

101. Do you type fast?

Kinda, yeah

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes

103. Can you spell well?

I won my school spelling bee for a reason :P

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yes

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Yes, I love bonfires 🔥

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yes… and I hate myself for it

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Yes, well, a pony when I was little

108. What should you be doing?

Napping

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Not at the moment.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yeah

111. Do you have trust issues?

You already asked this :P

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My parents, I believe

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Didn’t really have one as a child

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yup

115. Do you play the Wii?

Not so much anymore

116. Are you listening to music right now?

No, just enjoying the silence

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Meh

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Yeah. I like Kung pao and teriyaki chicken

119. Favourite book?

The House of the Scorpion by Nancy Farmer

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No

121. Are you mean?

No

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Never

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

If I try, yes. I usually don’t.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

It isn’t love, it’s infatuation

125. Do you believe in true love?

Yes

126. Are you currently bored?

Kinda

127. What makes you happy?

Sunshine, for one.

128. Would you change your name?

Nah, I’m ok with this name.

129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra

130. Do you like subway?

The sub shop? Yeah, but it’s not my favorite sub shop.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

He kinda doesn’t like me, but he knows that I’m a lesbian and is super supportive. He’s great ❤️

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

INTJ

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

“Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star? Somebody thought of that and someone believed it. Look what it’s done so far. What’s so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see? Someday we’ll find it, a rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

134. Can you count to one million?

Yeah, but who has the time?

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Can’t think of it right now. I wanna take a nap (not a lie).

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Closed

137. How tall are you?

5'0”

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Wavy

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Blonde (I’m assuming they’re asking whether I am this or that)

140. Summer or Winter?

Summer

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope. I like bacon way too much

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Milk chocolate

145. Tea or Coffee?

Neither

146. Was today a good day?

Today was a busy day. So, in some ways that was good. I wasn’t bored.

147. Mars or Snickers?

Snickers

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“It’s better to be thought an idiot than to open your mouth and remove all doubt”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

No

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

It’s blank… (Go Set a Watchman by Harper Lee)

Thanks Anon. Or Annie, if that’s you :)

[irishsaints]

I reblogged someone doing a q&a ages ago but here have some things about me.

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with? hmm. good question. might be my ex. 2. Are you outgoing or shy? you know, i used to think i was shy, but i think i’m actually kind of outgoing. 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my best buds in the world, k & j- k when she comes down for pride in the spring, j when i fly down to dc for a fellow hockey friend’s wedding 4. Are you easy to get along with? yep! 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? woof i don’t know my heart is in ten different directions right now haha. probably yes though 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? kind people. also broken people. funny people. warm people. honest people. people with different perspectives than mine. 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? almost certainly not. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? nathan dales, at the moment. 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? not particularly 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? ooh, connor, from the party. we talked about what it’s like being a cop in brooklyn, and what the perspective of a cop is on a stranger reaching for an unknown object in their pocket looks like. 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “y’all have been SLEEPING on letterkenny i’m telling you” 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? mm- thinking of you, kesha; 11 minutes, halsey & yungblud; dont call me up, mabel; love me, forest blakk; high hopes, panic! at the disco 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? yes absolutely 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? sometimes? i think luck and miracles happen, but i think they’re sort of dictated by fate- they happen when they’re MEANT to happen, no sooner, no later. 15. What good thing happened this summer? this past summer? hm. i got to jump ponies again. i ran farther than i had ever run before. i pushed past my own limits. i found my courage again. 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yes i would. he was pretty. 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? given the size of the galaxy and the universe outside of earth? almost certainly. 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? my first crush? fuck no, i wouldn’t know where to find that kid. i’ve TRIED to find him on facebook haha. 19. Do you like bubble baths? yes, i adore them. 20. Do you like your neighbors? for the most part, they’re not awful. 21. What are you bad habits? i bite my nails. i pick at scabs until i leave scars. i gnaw on the insides of my lip. i drink until i either pass out or black out (when i do drink) 22. Where would you like to travel? iceland. back to ireland. australia, new zealand. back to india. cote d’ivoire. bangladesh. kenya. mozambique. canada. 23. Do you have trust issues? off and on. not as much as i used to, but still in some ways. less in others. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? right now, a toss up between doing my eyeshadow and brewing my morning coffee. 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my tummy at the moment. 26. What do you do when you wake up? blearily stumble to the bathroom to determine how much product i need to put in my hair that day, and then pee. 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? probably a smidge darker, then i wouldn’t burn so much i don’t think. 28. Who are you most comfortable around? my best friends. 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? not so far. but i broke up with all of them so *shrug* 30. Do you ever want to get married? i think one day, yes 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? no it is not 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? oh no. this is not a fair question! in fact i really hate this question. uhhhhhhhhhhhh. UHM. FUCK. assuming this threesome doesnt ruin a perfectly good celebrity marriage or relationship- putting jared keeso on this list bc something tells me he’d be down for a threesome- and uhhhh- tessa thompson, i think.  33. Spell your name with your chin. nellie 34. Do you play sports? What sports? hockey is the one i still “play”- i used to play rugby too. i still ride ponies sometimes. i run a lot. and i row. 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? without tv. 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? probably 37. What do you say during awkward silences? i usually revert back to the weather or talk about something funny on the internet 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? no because i don’t have one right now 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? oddly? anthropologie even though it’s not really my style at all?? 40. What do you want to do after high school? ??????? after high school????? i’m not in high school anymore but okay?????? i want to go to college and then get a job????? 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? most of the time, yep 42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? hm either i’m thinking, busy, or i have a migraine. or i’m listening. 43. Do you smile at strangers? sometimes. 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space. the bottom of the ocean is horrifying. things down there fall into the “put that thing back where it came from or so help me” category. 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my alarm, mostly. and panic about being late to work. 46. What are you paranoid about? being late to work, despite the fact that i am an hour earlier than most of my coworkers. 47. Have you ever been high? ...yes? i’m in my mid 20s? 48. Have you ever been drunk? yes...? again, in my mid twenties? 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? not recently, no 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? gray, i think 51. Ever wished you were someone else? once in a while, sure 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my nose. 53. Favourite makeup brand? e.l.f. right now 54. Favourite store? didn’t you ask me this not that long ago? see #39 55. Favourite blog? oh for real? do you know how many friends i have on here, and how many awesome blogs they have? i don’t have just one favorite okay 56. Favourite colour? deep green- like a forest green 57. Favourite food? risotto, probably 58. Last thing you ate? microwaved chicken enchilada 59. First thing you ate this morning? smoothie and bagel 60. Ever won a competition? For what? uh i’ve probably gotten a blue ribbon at a horse show before 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? you know, i don’t think i ever have 62. Been arrested? For what? nope! 63. Ever been in love? yep 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? oh! we were on our annual school walk through the local state park, and we got to to top of the mountain in between two big groups, so we had the very top all to ourselves and could see out over the valley, and he pulled me close to him and kissed me right on top of the mountain in the early autumn air in new england, surrounded by orange and red and yellow leaves, with the river rushing below us. it was nice. 65. Are you hungry right now? yep. i should go make dinner probably 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i don’t think i like them more, but i’d say i like them equally 67. Facebook or Twitter? mmm facebook i guess 68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr i guess 69. Are you watching tv right now? no? i’m here? 70. Names of your bestfriends? this seems very personal about my friends, i’m going to pass on this one. 71. Craving something? What? pirate’s booty. and sleep. like ten years of sleep. 72. What colour are your towels? one is navy blue and two are green. 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two. 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yep, just one, a stuffed buffalo 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? here in boston, just the one. at my parents’ home/where i grew up, an entire chest full- at least 20, if not more 75. Favourite animal? horses 76. What colour is your underwear? red 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? both 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? mint chocolate chip 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? black and yellow and blue 80. What colour pants? black 81. Favourite tv show? currently, letterkenny 82. Favourite movie? well for a long time it was the silver stallion: king of the wild brumbies; now it’s mad max fury road 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? what the fuck are you on about, mean girls 2? that shit ain’t real. that’s a copy cat. Mean Girls, all the way. 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls. 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? janice ian.  86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? well nemo, duh. 87. First person you talked to today? my co worker, mara. 88. Last person you talked to today? well, it’ll probably be my roommate, katie, but if not, it’ll be the gal who waxes my eyebrows, aly. 89. Name a person you hate? my ex-ex. not my most recent ex, but the one before that. that bitch i fucking hate. she’s goddamned garbage. 90. Name a person you love? my mom! 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? i could probably name a few 92. In a fight with someone? not that i can think of 93. How many sweatpants do you have? hm maybe 8 pairs? 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? oooh probably like 10 or 12 pairs 95. Last movie you watched? Captain Marvel 96. Favourite actress? Charlize Theron probably 97. Favourite actor? oh no. Tom Hardy is at the top of the list for sure 98. Do you tan a lot? HAH. i have irish (read: VERY PALE) skin. i do not tan. i just burn, and then go back to being VERY PALE. 99. Have any pets? yep! a dog and a horse. 100. How are you feeling? tired. emotionally exhausted. mentally exhausted. 101. Do you type fast? yep. 102. Do you regret anything from your past? in some ways, yes. in some ways, no. i firmly believe everything i’ve been through has shaped who i am now, but i wish like hell i didn’t have to go through some of it 103. Can you spell well? yep 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? yeah there’s a few people 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes indeed 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yep 107. Have you ever been on a horse? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA yes, yes i have 108. What should you be doing? cooking dinner probably 109. Is something irritating you right now? probably 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? probably 111. Do you have trust issues? sort of ? 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my therapist 113. What was your childhood nickname? nellie sort of is a childhood nickname? but i also went by nell bell a lot, and nelly fertado, which i hated. 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes i have 115. Do you play the Wii? nope 116. Are you listening to music right now? nope 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes! i love it! 118. Do you like Chinese food? yes! 119. Favourite book? oh this is hard. The Stand, by Stephen King, is a classic 120. Are you afraid of the dark? not anymore 121. Are you mean? i can be sometimes. 122. Is cheating ever okay? NO. 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? i mean yeah, but not for forever. 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? mmm. i don’t think so. 125. Do you believe in true love? yes. 126. Are you currently bored? kind of? 127. What makes you happy? running. food. a good tv show. a great movie with incredible cinematography and music to match. 128. Would you change your name? um. maybe? idk. i try not to wander down that path too often 129. What your zodiac sign? sagittarius 130. Do you like subway? like...the fast food chain? no. god no. ew. hard no. 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? hm. i feel like this has happened to me/is happening to me/happens to me? i sort of ignore it and pretend it’s not happening? 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? errrr. either my best friend or my therapist. 133. Favourite lyrics right now? probably the entirety of thinking of you, by kesha. 134. Can you count to one million? i mean can i? yeah sure i CAN. do i WANT to or have the time, patience, or energy? likely not. 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? honestly would not be able to tell you because it was probably that dumb. 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed 137. How tall are you? 5′1′’  138. Curly or Straight hair? straight 139. Brunette or Blonde? naturally brunette but currently blue, or as my stylist says “a color that is not naturally appearing in the world” 140. Summer or Winter? summer 141. Night or Day? daytime 142. Favourite month? october i think. or maybe may. 143. Are you a vegetarian? hard no. 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk chocolate 145. Tea or Coffee? coffee 146. Was today a good day? eh, it was alright. long, mostly. 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers i guess 148. What’s your favourite quote? The full quote is “But for everyone, surely, what we have gone through in this period - I am addressing myself to the School - surely from this period of ten months this is the lesson: never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.”- Winston Churchill, at the Harrow School in 1941. My favorite bits are italicized. 149. Do you believe in ghosts? mmm. spirits. forces that might still exist on this planet, long after their bodies are not. souls that haven’t moved on yet, for whatever reason. i don’t think they’re here to haunt us. but they haven’t found their way on to whatever’s next yet, either. 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? good morning.