#nadie yo drama

[perfectamente-desastrosa]

Mi amor eterno:

“Me encanta haber coincidido contigo en este preciso momento de nuestro joven universo.”

La vida desde que te conocí ha sido maravillosa y plenamente feliz, el amor y la alegría que has traído a mis días es algo que jamás lograré de terminar de agradecerte. Tomaste mi mano en los momentos más difíciles y te quedaste conmigo aún en medio de las dificultades. Tu amor se ha sentido como una cálida gota de lluvia en momentos de una terrible sequía. Las probabilidades de encontrar a tu alma gemela en una persona increíblemente hermosa son de una en un millón y es increíble que de entre trillones de personas nos hayamos encontrado. Sé, sin importar qué tantas cosas difíciles vengan, que mi corazón, mi alma y mi vida entera fueron hechos para amarte y que el universo nos trajo aquí, nos dirigió al instante en el que vimos nuestros ojos por primera vez, al instante en que nos miramos y supimos que éramos las personas con las que queríamos pasar el resto de nuestras vidas.

Estar contigo siempre se ha sentido como estar en una película romántica, con todos sus desenlaces, sus dramas y sus cursilerías, se ha sentido como caminar en una nube rosa, como volar por los cielos siendo un pajarito amarillo. Estar contigo, en pocas palabras… se ha sentido como se siente el amor verdadero: cálido, dulce, con un aroma a tu comida favorita (pero cuando la hacía tu abuelita), desenfrenado, intenso, fuerte como las olas y al mismo tiempo suave como las caricias llenas de cariño después de una noche loca. Estar contigo es como vivir. Vivir de verdad.

Las situaciones difíciles son parte de la vida y el aprender a sobrellevarlas es complicado, pero no imposible. Hemos pasado por tantas cosas juntos que el pensar en llegar a rendirnos no es posible. Nuestro amor es grande y las ganas de seguir juntos lo son aún más. No existe manera en la que no quiera seguir creciendo contigo, eres todo lo que siempre he querido, todo lo que siempre he soñado y la manera en la que cambiaste mi vida es algo que jamás podría llegar a olvidar. Tu esencia, tu personalidad y tu carisma me envolvieron y enamoraron de una manera que llevaré tatuada en mi alma por siempre. La magia que desprendes es tan maravillosa, simplemente perfecta. Eres hermoso, amable, bueno, entregado, inteligente, fuerte, colaborador, honesto, gracioso, increíblemente magnífico. Eres tan precioso, Jhorvin, en todos los sentidos posibles de la palabra. Cada parte de ti me tiene tan locamente enamorada, tan jodidamente extasiada.

La manera en la que mi corazón late cuando estás cerca, cuando me tocas, cuando me miras… es algo que no puedo explicar. Necesito tenerte cerca todo el tiempo, necesito sentirte, amarte, tocarte, lo necesito de la misma forma en la que todos los humanos necesitamos respirar. Es tan extraña la forma en la que me siento cuando me rodeas con tus brazos, cuando me besas, cuando me jalas hacia ti y me dices con la mirada que me amas, que siempre me amarás.

“Debo resignarme a conjugar el verbo amar, a repetir por milésima vez que nunca quise a nadie como te quiero a ti, que te admiro, que te respeto, que me gustas, que me diviertes, que me emocionas, que te adoro” — Adolfo Bioy Casares, Carta a Elena Garro.

Te amo, Jhorvin. Te amo tanto y no existe manera de describir este sentimiento de una manera en la que pueda entenderse completamente, porque yo te amo así: con locura, con fuerza, sin entendimiento, sin cordura. Te amo con valentía, con fortaleza, con ímpetu. Te amo como se ama a la vida aunque a veces ésta duela, te amo como se ama a los recuerdos felices, te amo como se ama al cielo, al sol, al viento. Te amo como se ama en los libros, en las películas, en las historias viejas. Te amo como se ama a todo aquello que te hace feliz.

Amo tu voz, tu sonrisa, tus ojos, tus manos, tus brazos, tu pecho, tus piernas, tus pies, tu cabello, tus mejillas, tus orejas, tus pestañas, tu corazón. Amo cuando te miro y después de un rato volteas, amo cuando tomas mi mano y empiezas a saltar, amo cuando ríes después de decir algo chistoso, amo tu coraje, tu manera de hacer las cosas sin tomarle importancia a los riesgos, amo que me impulses a hacer cosas que jamás en mi vida me creí capaz de hacer, amo tus bailes de la nada, amo tus ganas de tenerme cerca siempre, amo como me cuidas, como me respetas y me amas, amo tu manera de hablar, bailar y caminar, amo tus chistes, tus mensajes, tus audios, tus llamadas, tu manera de decirme de 100 mil maneras distintas que me adoras y que deseas estar conmigo siempre.

No quiero imaginar una vida en la que no estés, en la que tú y yo no existamos. No quiero y, definitivamente no puedo imaginar una vida sin tus besos, sin tus abrazos, sin ver tus ojos, sin tu calidez, sin tu magia alrededor. No puedo siquiera concebir un día en el que no estés a mi lado.

Las diferencias que tenemos han sido un punto clave en nuestra relación, no han hecho tener problemas, nos han dado risa y nos han hecho llorar múltiples veces, pero jamás podría verlas como algo que quisiera cambiar o algo de lo que me sienta arrepentida. Nuestras diferencias, aunque muchas veces nos han hecho dudar, son de las cosas más únicas que tenemos, son de las cosas que hacen que sigamos juntos a pesar de todo. Tú y yo, somos como el ying y el yang, la luna y el sol, el mar y la arena, los árboles y la tierra. Cosas completamente opuestas pero que se necesitan la una a la otra para poder sobrevivir, para poder subsistir.

“Te quiero a las 10 de la mañana, y a las 11; y a las 12 del día. Te quiero con toda mi alma, y con todo mi cuerpo, a veces, en las tardes de lluvia” — Jaime Sabines

Nos hemos prometido incontablemente que nos quedaremos juntos en las buenas y en las malas, en la salud y en la enfermedad, en la risa y en las lágrimas, en la felicidad y en el enojo. Es una promesa que mantengo conmigo cada día, porque me quedaré contigo siempre, amor. Me quedaré contigo cada día, incluso en medio de la tempestad, en los malos momentos, en las situaciones complicadas porque nuestro amor es así, porque nosotros somos así. No damos un paso atrás cuando las cosas se ponen difíciles, sino que es ahí cuando nos volvemos más fuertes.

Hay tantas cosas por las quiero y debo pedirte perdón, tantas cosas que he hecho mal y que cuando pienso en ellas sólo siento una tristeza y un arrepentimiento profundo. Te pido perdón por todo aquello que aún me cuesta mejorar, por todas esas cosas en las que aún piensas y que te siguen lastimando, por todo eso que hice inconscientemente pero que al final, hicieron daño. Te pido perdón por la parte de aquella persona que fui que te lastimó y te digo que ahora estoy creciendo, estoy mejorando y todo bajo la promesa de brindarte un mejor futuro, de brindarnos a ambos una buena vida y una buena relación. Mis ganas de sanar y seguir adelante se volvieron más grandes y fuertes desde que te conocí, porque me diste el valor suficiente para hacerlo, porque me impulsas, me animas, me motivas, me haces bien. Porque conocerte y amarte ha sido de las pocas cosas en mi vida que han salido bien. El que me ames ha sido la gran bendición de cada uno de mis días.

No sé qué nos depara el futuro, no sé qué nos tiene el universo preparado, pero sí sé que quiero averiguarlo mientras tomo tu mano, sé que quiero estar contigo y sé que quiero seguir creciendo a tu lado. Las cosas no se harán más fáciles a partir de ahora, pero nuestro amor sí se seguirá haciendo más grande y soy afortunada, porque estoy compartiendo todo de mí con la mejor persona que he podido conocer.

Eres tú el único chico con el que quiero vivir, dormir, llorar, reír, bailar, soñar, discutir, disfrutar, comer, brincar, viajar, coger, experimentar, brillar, crecer. Eres tú el único al que quiero contarle mis más locas anécdotas y chismes, el único al que quiero besar por siempre, el único con el que quiero correr por los senderos de lo que llamamos vida. Eres tú el único chico con el que quiero seguir viviendo esta loca pero increíble película romántica. 

Así que no me sueltes, amor. No me dejes, no dejes de mirarme con todo ese amor que parece sólo querer desbordarse hasta llegar a mí y envolverme con ternura, no dejes de tomar mi mano con fuerza, no dejes de sonreírme antes de besarme, no dejes de hacerme reír con tus locuras, no dejes de abrazarme en medio de la noche, no dejes de decirme cuánto me amas a cada momento, porque te juro, mi sol, que yo jamás dejaré de hacerlo.

Gracias por ser el sol que me da calor cuando muero de frío, gracias por ser la mantita que ahuyenta mis miedos en medio de la madrugada, gracias por ser la brisa por las tardes que me recuerda que estoy viva y que eso es increíble, gracias por mostrarme que siempre existirán las buenas oportunidades, gracias por extenderme tu mano en todos esos momentos en los que creí que todo seguiría mal, gracias por besar mis cicatrices y por secar mis lágrimas, gracias por salvarme, gracias por ser tú.

Te amé ayer, te amo hoy y con toda la seguridad del mundo… te prometo que te seguiré amando mañana.

Con amor, Tu Fany Lu.

[misdedostienenvidapropia]

No seas como yo.

Uno a veces termina acostumbrándose a las malas costumbres de otros. Te dejas llevar. Te habitúas a sus hábitos nocivos y vas adquiriendo esas mañas viles con las que se relacionan. A veces asimilas el estándar decadente, te vuelves uno más por mirarte a menos, te adaptas a sus formas indignas y te deformas, y entonces el ojo por ojo te empieza a saber más dulce que la miel. Fíngeme, que sabré bien actuar el papel que me asignaste, me aprenderé de memoria el guión del personaje que a tus ojos represento, serás la protagonista histriónica de tu propio teatro, yo seré el espectador que te convence de que ha sido conquistado con la historia tragicómica que interpretas. Me aprenderé los pasos sucios de este baile sobre el cuadrilátero de las apariencias, un golpe es un beso, me tendrás entre las cuerdas, te pisaré los pies con un <<te quiero>>. Nadie mejor para enseñarme de tretas, estrategias y simulaciones, tanta ternura enferma siempre causa convulsiones. Vueltas y vueltas en la danza de lo inverosímil, cada movimiento de la coreografía como espasmos afectuosos, cada gesto alegre como retorcijones en la conciencia, iré al ritmo de tu conveniencia, mientras la música de fondo será una playlist de mi talión. Si tú juegas, juego, moverás tus fichas a placer, los dados lanzaré, tendré el as bajo la manga, las mismas cartas que utilizas te daré, voy a blufear en cada gesto, barajarás todas tus excusas, mientras la partida ganada creas tener. Si tu dices, yo diré, diálogo de sordo mudos, palabras en el crucigrama de un vocablo sin sentido, lenguaje sin ningún significado, lo que quieras oír saldrá de mis labios tan muerto como lo que de tu boca proferías para mantener vivo mi apetito. Latidos sin pulso en el corazón, suspiros de artificio, sonrisas para maniquíes, tiempo inerte, polvo para nuestra sed, te seguiré la corriente aunque sea ir en contra de todo lo prudente. Te has reído desde el principio y quizá yo lo haga al final, cuando el telón caiga sobre nuestra ficción, te aplaudiré de pie, tendrás tu ovación, el actor secundario se ganará el oscar a mejor masoquista, tendrás tu estrella en el paseo de la infamia, seguirás haciendo dramas en otros escenarios, yo seguiré sentado en la misma butaca, morgue del que un día fui antes de ti, que aunque no era la gran cosa, era mejor que el se quedó aquí. Memoria Selectiva.

[forjongseong]

qué bonito // jay (ENHYPEN)

pairing: secretary!jay x CEO!fem!reader (part 11 of the series)

genre: office!au, fluff, smut (minors dni) // warning: older reader; Jay calls reader “Boss”; fingering; unprotected sex; mentions of marriage // wc: ~10.5k

previous chapters:

part 1 - carmesí part 2 - mi reina part 3 - millones part 3.5 - hasta los dientes part 4 - vente conmigo part 5 - tusa part 5.5 - apaga y vámonos part 6 - versos de placer minisode part 1 - cuando nadie ve part 6.5 - yo te quiero más minisode part 2 - la niña de mis ojos part 7 - aeropuerto minisode part 3 - falling autumn minisode part 4 - night night part 8 - ambulancia minisode part 5 - subtítulos part 9 - al caer la noche minisode part 6 - after last night part 9.5 - the way you look tonight part 10 - mon soleil minisode part 7 - daylight minisode part 8 - subside minisode part 9 - your princess, my queen

next chapters:

click here for the masterlist

summary: once you introduced the idea of house-hunting, Jay was immediately on board. however, between endless meetings, scholarship interviews, and calls from your parents, you feel the extreme amount of pressure build up.

author’s notes: welcome to part 11! this one is long overdue.

I had so many ideas but I kept releasing them as minisodes, and I got busy with work (your girl is a freelancer, so when there is no work there is NO WORK, but once there is work I am swamped), so I kept pushing back and postponing writing part 11--which I deeply regret. in my humble opinion, this part is the most lacking, since I do feel like it's all over the place and very jumpy. nevertheless, I wanted to continue, and after literal weeks I finally finished it.

I apologize if this one is a downer, or if it's not exactly your favorite part. I plan on making more one-shots for Jay's birthday (check out this one if you haven't already) and for our favorite couple, I might write a .5 part. where should we send sec!Jay and CEO!yn to this time? I should probably make a poll.

anyways! the title for this part is a song by Soraya.

How beautiful it is to wake up every morning How beautiful are your eyes of hope How beautiful it is to be with people who love you To have you with me, to have you with me

How beautiful it is to live without so much drama How beautiful it is the love that you give me How beautiful it is to understand that nothing is missing Being with you, being with you

Enough said.

taglist: @jaylaxies @thots4hee @jayked @end-hyphen @nyanggk @yoursjaeyun @maggstar @bucketofhiros @dimplejaehyuncutie @excusememissiloveyou @shinkenprincess-oh @mochimchimo @jongseonglogy

(send an ask if you want to be added)

For the first time in a while, you were already awake on a Sunday morning, scrolling through several open tabs on your desktop while you rest your feet comfortably as you sat cross-legged on your chair. Your fingers would alternate between scrolling, clicking, and typing to quickly search for the one thing you were looking for.

It was drizzling when you woke up an hour ago, and Jay claimed he had overdone it again at the gym last night, so you did not bother waking him up. Most of the time he would be the one who would wake up before you, so you thought it would be nice to let him sleep in and wake up whenever he wanted.

You heard your bedroom door swing open slowly and you turned your head to find Jay moseying towards you. He reached your desk and immediately bent his body down to hug you, and you reciprocated it while planting a soft kiss on his cheek.

“What are you doing?” He asked with a croak in his voice. “I hope it’s not work.”

You shook your head. “I’m looking for a new place.”

“To move into?” Jay asked again. He grabbed the nearest ottoman to sit next to you, but because it was lower in height, he ended up leaning sideways to your chair and resting his chin on your armrest.

“This place feels too small for the both of us. I was thinking of moving into a three-bedroom apartment, or even a house if there is a nice one,” you explained as you continued to scroll.

Jay frowned. “This place is perfect. If you ask me, it’s even bigger than Heeseung, Jake, and Sunghoon’s place. Super comfy too.”

“Yeah, but,” you paused to place your hand on Jay’s head. Now it felt like you were petting a dog. “Look at where this desk is. It’s too close to the living room. I kind of want a small office. And my clothes take up too much space in our wardrobe. There’s barely enough room for your stuff.”

Jay chuckled and closed his eyes, enjoying your touch. “I mean, it’s your place, so of course that’s the case.”

“That’s exactly my point.” You stopped and leaned in to kiss the top of his head. “I want a place that’s ours.”

It took Jay two seconds before finally giving you a reaction. He sighed and reached for your hand, bringing it to his lips to kiss your knuckles.

“I’ll start looking too. Let me know the details of the place that you want. Three bedrooms? How many bathrooms do you want? Would you want a dining—”

“Jay.”

“Yes, my queen?” Jay sat up straight and looked right into your eyes. His bangs were getting longer, and it covered parts of his eyes, so you brushed his hair back with one hand before pulling him in by his neck.

“It’s going to be our place. Don’t focus too much on what I want,” you whispered.

Jay nodded once before kissing your lips. “You still don’t get it, do you?”

You frowned and Jay smirked before bringing both his hands up to cup your face.

“My life revolves around you now. You’re my priority. Of course I’m gonna focus on what you want.”

You pouted. “Some people might say that sounds sweet but isn’t that a little toxic?”

Jay scoffed once before letting his reaction turn into a chuckle. “It’s not, okay? It’s what I want. To get you what you want. Get it?”

Your eyebrows were now knitted, trying to grasp what Jay just said. The sheer confusion on your face made Jay let out a breathy laugh.

“I’ll start looking for our new place. Okay, Boss?”

You smiled and nodded. Jay pushed himself up to kiss your lips before standing up and walking away.

“What do you want for breakfast?” He asked as he made his way to the kitchen.

“Already taken care of,” you replied, focusing back on browsing for apartments.

Jay looked at the counter and found a plate filled with scrambled eggs and sausages. He noticed that your plate was empty and sitting in the sink.

“You made this?” Jay asked. “When?”

You deemed that all the browsing was tiring your eyes, so you stopped and closed the window. You then swiveled your chair and stood up to meet Jay by the counters.

“It’s not much. We ran out of eggs. If you’re still hungry after eating it we can go out for brunch or something,” you said nonchalantly.

Jay could not keep himself from smiling. He walked over to you and pulled you into a tight hug.

“Thank you,” he said right into your ear.

“It’s just one breakfast—”

“I know. So, thank you. I love you. Let’s go out today.”

You chuckled and agreed to his idea, letting him kiss your lips again but deeper this time. You then broke it off with an excuse that you wanted to shower, so he sent you off with a playful spank on your ass.

---

It was the day of the interview for the shortlisted candidates for your scholarship program. Naturally, as CEO, you had to sit as one of the interviewers. You were worried that your being there would be an issue since you knew your staff so well and you were afraid of forming a biased opinion. However, the other three interviewers, who were representatives from sponsors as well as an executive from a bank, insisted that you be present.

You sent Jay to take care of the internal meetings you had that overlapped with the interview schedule. There were ten candidates, and you were sure the interview was going to take the whole day. As you checked the list, you found that Heeseung was one of the people you had to question before lunch break.

The first four people you saw with your peers left a good impression. You were starting to think that it would be a really tough job to choose only three out of ten, and you had not even seen five people yet. You listened closely as the other interviewers made their comments in between turns, and you only gave your opinion when you were asked to.

Heeseung was the last to interview for the first session. When he came into the room, he immediately locked eyes with you and pressed his lips together, trying his best to keep it professional. He greeted you and the other interviewers politely before sitting down. After being asked to introduce himself, he chuckled nervously and placed his hand behind his neck.

“I’ve actually never done this before and I’m really nervous, so I’d like to apologize in advance for the mistakes I might make,” he said softly, looking at the other interviews.

“No need to be nervous,” you replied as your eyes focused on the documents in front of you. You made a note on one of them before looking at Heeseung. “Just try and do your best.”

The absence of a smile on your face made Heeseung feel even tenser. He blinked once before gulping and nodding repeatedly, letting the other interviewers start the session. Heeseung’s turn ended almost in the blink of an eye, and you did not say much since you did prefer to observe your peers as well as the candidates.

You were glad that the lunch break allocated for you was for two hours, which is an hour longer than what you were normally used to. After sending your peers to Hwiyoung so he could take them out for lunch, you headed straight to your office to wait for Jay to finish his morning meeting.

As you were grabbing a drink at the minibar, you heard two knocks on your door. You were sure Hwiyoung was gone, so you were about to ask who it was when you heard the voice from the other side of the door.

“Miss, it’s me,” said Heeseung.

“Come in!”

Heeseung pushed your door open and appeared with his signature sheepish smile on your face that showcased his perfectly aligned teeth. Your gaze softened and you laughed at his behavior.

“What’s with the face?” You asked.

“Oh, good, you’re back,” Heeseung sighed, placing a hand over his chest.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Miss,” Heeseung cleared his throat, “you were so scary back there, for a second I thought you were possessed.”

You laughed and shook your head. “You’re being dramatic.”

“I’m serious!” Heeseung shouted in defense. “Is that your boss mode? Or your teacher mode? Is that what your employees see every day? Is that what Jay sees every day?”

“About that last question,” you interjected him after taking a sip of your water. “Are you about to ask how on earth he fell for me if I looked so intimidating?”

Heeseung froze. He pressed his lips together before speaking. “Are you gonna cross me off the list if I say yes?”

“Heeseung,” you sighed, almost speechless.

He was about to defend himself, but you were having none of it, just laughing and dismissing all his complaints. It quickly turned into a playful argument, and none of you noticed how Jay was leaning by the entrance to your office.

“What are we fighting about?” Jay asked after clearing his throat.

Your eyes fell on Jay’s, and you were relieved he was there to stop whatever was going on. Heeseung let out a heavy sigh before walking over to Jay and then patting him on the shoulder.

“Your fiancée is really something,” he said before chuckling and leaving the room.

“You’re on duty tonight, Heeseung. Mr. Lee is out to visit his family!” You shouted at Heeseung after he disappeared out the door. You then chuckled when he stretched his hand back inside, giving you a thumbs up before pulling the door shut.

Jay looked at you as soon as Heeseung left. “What was that about?”

“He was the last person I interviewed earlier. He said I was scary and he questioned how you fell for me or whatever.”

Jay frowned as he took off his jacket and set it on one of your lounge chairs.

“Ignore him, he’s just being silly.” You continued, pouring another glass of water, and bringing it to Jay. “How was the meeting?”

“Good,” Jay answered. “I think I have to cut lunch short though. I need to prepare extra for the next meeting.”

“So, we’re not going to eat together?” You asked. Your hands traveled to your journal that was spread open on the desk.

Jay shrugged. “Sorry, babe. The earlier I prep for this meeting, the faster it ends too. I can go and order something for you though.”

You shook your head and finished the water you had before putting your glass on your desk. You then walked to the sofa in the middle of your office and took your heels off, bringing your legs up.

“I want to take a nap. I’ll order lunch when I wake up. When you leave, can you tell Hwiyoung not to knock until I come out?”

Jay stood by your desk for a while before shifting the weight in his feet. He took out his phone to type something, then sat his phone and his glass of water on your desk, turned his wrist to check the time, and then walked to the door.

“Thank you,” you said as you lay down on your sofa, mindlessly scrolling on your phone in hopes that you would fall asleep soon.

You thought Jay was going to leave quietly, but instead, you heard the sound of your door being locked. You looked up with a frown.

“Jay?”

“A nap sounds nice,” Jay said, loosening his tie as he walked over to you. “Any room for me?”

You lifted both your legs up so Jay could sit on the other end of the sofa, and he rolled his eyes in despair. You chuckled when you feel him take his seat and place both your legs over his thighs. You continued to scroll on Instagram while he placed his elbow on the armrest and rested his head on his hand.

You snorted and stifled a chuckle, and Jay who already had his eyes closed opened them again to look at you. You peered over at him and showed him your phone screen. It was a post about the qualities of a good assistant. Jay started reading them out loud.

“One, be early. Two, be upbeat. Three, ask questions,” he started.

You nodded and lifted a finger. “I agree but if you’re not careful with it the second and third points could be annoying.”

Jay chuckled lightly before continuing. “Four, be efficient. Five, don’t assume. Six, be discreet.”

“You’re good at two of those except being discreet.”

“Thanks, Boss,” Jay said. You giggled and lightly pushed Jay’s thigh with your feet. “Seven, study your boss. Eight, fill your time. Nine, inspire your boss.”

You paused and stared at the ceiling. And then you started giggling uncontrollably.

“What’s so funny now?” Jay asked, squeezing your thigh.

“I think you misread the eighth point. You’re supposed to fill your time, Jay, not fill your boss.”

Jay’s jaw dropped and you laughed at his face. He set your phone on the coffee table and fixed the position of your legs on his lap.

“Is that what you’re doing right now? You’re teasing me? You were supposed to take a nap.”

“And you were supposed to go eat lunch, so why are you here with me?”

Jay cocked his head, amused that you immediately talked back without hesitation.

“About the eighth point.” Jay cleared his throat. “Do you want me to fill you up?”

He squeezed your thigh again and you continued to giggle, covering your eyes with your arm. Since you did not give a proper response, Jay trailed his fingers down your legs and creeped up the skin underneath your skirt.

“I do want you to fill me up,” you finally spoke. His fingers froze between your legs. “And take your time.”

Jay raised an eyebrow, looking at you to confirm. You reached out one hand and managed to grab his tie.

“Come over here.”

Jay scooted over closer to you, making you properly sit on his lap sideways as you pulled on his tie to make him kiss you. He smirked into the kiss, feeling your fingers buried in his hair and your other hand frantically grabbing on his shirt.

“Someone’s hungry,” he mumbled into your lips.

“Shut up,” you breathed.

Jay chuckled and continued to dominate the kiss, shoving his tongue inside your mouth while his arm snaked around your waist. He gripped you tightly, and as your kiss became even more heated, he did not hesitate to reach under your skirt and trace his finger along your panties.

“Jay,” you moaned into his mouth. Your hand was still pulling on his tie and holding on to him for dear life.

“Take it off,” he demanded.

You pulled away to look at him and he gave you a firm nod. You quickly undid his tie and pulled it off his neck.

“Now tie it around your eyes.”

You tittered. “Are you serious?”

“Come on.” Jay nodded. “Be a good girl for me.”

You let out a shaky breath, to which Jay responded with a smirk. Both his hands were already busy holding you, touching you, so you get why he asked you to do it yourself. His tone could not be less demanding, though. And you loved it.

Once you were done blindfolding yourself, Jay made you sit up straight. He unzipped your skirt and took it off, placing it neatly beside his jacket before taking the jacket in his hands. He then asked you to lift yourself up for a moment.

“What are you doing?” You asked softly, your one arm still resting around his shoulders.

“Making sure you don’t make a mess later,” he answered. He placed his jacket on his lap and made you sit back on him, still sideways. “You ready?”

You licked your lips in anticipation. “Mm-hm.”

Jay dipped his head to kiss you and you immediately reacted. You kissed him back, and at the same time his fingers found their place between your legs again and you moaned a little too loud.

“Now, I need you to be quiet,” Jay said sternly. “We don’t know if anyone is outside your office.”

You couldn’t see anything, but you could feel Jay’s hot breath tickling your cheek. You felt his nose graze along your jawline before his lips started placing wet kisses on your neck. You sighed into it and began arching your back. Jay traced another line down your clothed folds, and you squirmed in his lap.

“See, you’re already drenched,” Jay whispered in your ear. “So wet for me, and I haven’t done anything to you yet.”

You whimpered and brought one hand to grasp his collar. “Touch me,” you breathed, searching for his lips.

He chuckled lowly and placed an open-mouthed kiss on your cheek before licking you there. You shuddered.

“Only if you ask nicely.”

You squirmed again in his lap, and he smirked.

“Please,” you whimpered. “Please touch me.”

Jay tilted his head in protest. “Not exactly the words that I was looking for…”

“Sir.”

You swore you could feel Jay’s cock twitch against your ass.

“What’s that, darling?” He asked. His lips were grazing your earlobe.

“Please touch me, Sir.”

In one swift move, Jay pulled your panties aside and began rubbing your clit. You moaned loudly but he was quick to silence you with his own mouth, replacing the sound of your whimpers with the wet sounds of his tongue and lips battling yours. Your grip on his shirt became tighter, and so did his grip around your waist.

He did not stop kissing you even as he inserted a finger into your cunt. Your moans turned into shaky breaths, and he had to keep you still since you were squirming so much on his lap. He pulled away from your lips and you chased for them, whining because of the loss of contact.

Jay noticed the way your legs were kicking at nothing and your toes curling, so he inserted another finger in order to give you even more pleasure. You couldn’t hold in your whimpers, so you buried your face in his shoulder, trying your best not to move too much. The squelching sounds from between your legs were driving you crazy, and you wished you could see how it was making Jay roll his eyes back too.

When you felt him curl his fingers inside you, your body jerked up. Your mouth was agape with pleasure as he squeezed your waist, leaning in closer so he could kiss your neck again. You began biting your lip since it was becoming too much for you, and the stifled moans you let out were in sync with the way Jay was moving his fingers inside of you.

“Jay,” you breathed heavily. “Yes. Yes. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

You almost yelped when you felt Jay’s tongue on your ear. He chuckled lowly before kissing your cheek and then your lips.

“You sound so pretty,” he said. “But keep it down.”

You whined and brought your hand down to grab his wrist. He continued to finger you in a way that was almost aggressive, and it had your body convulsing involuntarily.

“Please,” you whimpered. “Please, Sir. Can I cum?”

Jay smiled and kissed the corner of your lips affectionately, letting your small whimpers escape your mouth. “Of course, darling. You can let go.”

With the pressure from his thumb on your clit and the way his two fingers were stroking your insides, you came on his hand, and on his lap, and made a mess that he already predicted would happen. You tainted the jacket he had laid down underneath you, and you could feel it getting soaked with your own wetness.

“Good girl,” he whispered.

Jay kept his fingers still inside you as you rode out your high, your body still twitching once in a while and your legs shaking from the intense pleasure. Once he saw that you had calmed down, he slid his fingers out and licked them clean before untying your blindfold.

“Hey.” Jay looked at you, brushing your hair back and waiting for you to open your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Oh my God,” you sighed. You opened your eyes, and he was looking at you with a hint of worry on his face. “I love you.”

Jay smiled and moved to kiss you. You held him in place as you kissed him deeper, hoping it would show him your gratitude. You pulled back to take a good look at him and you noticed that his shirt was all wrinkled around the collar and shoulders.

“Did I do that?” You asked.

Jay looked down and shrugged. “It’s fine.” He moved to pull your panties back to place and made you sit up straight.

“It’s not fine,” you protested, trying to smooth out the wrinkles with your hands. “You have a meeting to attend. You can’t show up with a wrinkly shirt. And your jacket is tainted anyway so you can’t cover it up.”

Jay started giggling because of your panic. “You’re being very wifey right now.”

“And you’re acting like a real husband!” You said in frustration. Jay laughed wholeheartedly as he watched you lift yourself up from his lap.

You stood in front of him, only in your silk button-down and your panties. “Take your shirt off.”

“Uhm…”

“I have a standing steam iron stored under the bookshelf. Let me get those wrinkles out for you.”

Jay mouthed an ‘oh’ before he started unbuttoning his shirt. You weren’t surprised that he was not wearing an undershirt, since the color of his button-down was dark so he wouldn’t need to worry about anything being see-through. You swiftly made your way to your desk holding Jay’s shirt in one hand.

You placed his shirt over your desk and bent over, trying to remember which drawer you stored the steam iron in. Once you found it, you pulled it out and quickly set it up, hanging Jay’s shirt on its pole. As you were waiting for it to heat up, you heard shuffling behind you, and before you could turn around, Jay was already wrapping his arms around your waist and unbuttoning your shirt.

“Jay,” you whined in protest. “You don’t have that much time left for your next meeting.”

“Come on,” he whined back in your ear. “You expect me to sit still while I watch you bend over in your panties? No way.”

“You’re really testing me today.”

“And I know you like it.”

You turned around to look at Jay with a pout. Jay laughed at your expression, booping your nose before reaching both his hands down to your ass to push you into him. Your breath hitched as you felt him hard against your pelvis.

“If you want me to beg this time, I’ll do it,” Jay muttered. “Please. I’ll be quick. I promise.”

You grabbed his hand and led him to your chair by your desk. You pushed him and he fell sitting down, chuckling when you immediately started straddling him.

“Three minutes or less,” you said, reaching down to push your panties to the side.

Jay frantically unzipped his pants and let his cock out, pumping it a few times before aligning himself with your entrance. You placed both your hands on his shoulder as you let yourself sink down on him, and you both moaned in unison.

It was like a switch was flipped in Jay’s head because once he was fully inside you, he grabbed your ass and started rutting his hips into you. You were now used to stifling back your moans, so you did exactly that while you bounced on his cock. You pulled his head to your breasts, letting him breathe onto you as he continued sliding in and out of you. You matched his pace and you both reached your highs at the same time. He planted soft kisses along your jawline while your breathing leveled off.

“You should clean up,” Jay said after catching his breath.

You got off his lap and you could feel his cum trickling down your thigh. “But your shirt…”

“I’ll do it. Just go freshen up first.” Jay stood up and moved to kiss you. “Thank you.”

You smiled and tiptoed to kiss his cheek before walking away, grabbing your skirt as you made your way to the bathroom. It didn’t take you long to make yourself presentable again, and when you walked out, you saw Jay buttoning his shirt up.

“Let me see,” you said as you walked to him, now fully dressed.

Jay stood up straight and stretched his neck so you can evaluate his work better. All the wrinkles on his shirt were gone, so you smiled as you smoothed the ends of his shoulder.

“I make a pretty good husband, huh?” He asked with a huge smirk on his face.

“Don’t ruin it,” you mumbled as you looked away and checked the time on your phone. “You’ve got exactly 15 minutes left for your break.”

“It’s fine, I can grab a quick smoothie and head to the meeting room right after,” Jay said, looking around for his phone. “Actually, there’s something I need to get from my desk. I’ll see you later?”

You nodded and presented your cheek towards him for him to kiss. He chuckled and did so before exiting your office.

---

Hwiyoung looked up from his desk as he saw your door open. He was about to stand up when he realized that Jay was the one walking out of your office and not you.

“Oh? I didn’t know you were in there,” Hwiyoung said, slightly confused.

Jay gave Hwiyoung an acknowledging nod before smiling to himself like an idiot. His smile did not leave his face even while he was looking under papers and opening drawers.

“Why are you smiling like an idiot?” Hwiyoung asked. The puzzled look on his face went away as soon as you walked out.

“Hwiyoung,” you greeted him.

“Miss, did you want to order--,” Hwiyoung let his sentence hang as he observed you and Jay stealing glances. “Oh. Oh, fuck.”

“Language,” you said sternly as you made your way to Hwiyoung’s desk.

Jay continued to smile sheepishly while he typed on his phone. You then tapped on Hwiyoung’s desk to get his attention.

“The meeting that Jay is in, can you push it back 30 minutes? Tell them it’s my order, and that I’ll bring coffee for everyone in it.”

Jay looked up at you and you just gave him a reassuring nod.

Hwiyoung started jotting down notes on his iPad. “There’s sixteen people in it, Miss. Seventeen including Park.”

“Alright, so I’ll buy seventeen drinks.” You then checked the time again on your watch. “I’m gonna go and grab a quick bite with Jay, okay?”

“Yes, Miss,” Hwiyoung nodded and watched as you walked away, linking your arm with Jay’s.

“I wish I was having that much sex,” Hwiyoung mumbled to himself, checking the notes on his phone before shaking his head to rid of the mental image that was about to haunt him.

---

You were bundled up in two different blankets, curled up in a fetal position as you lay sideways on your sofa, watching the newest addition to your list on Netflix. It was only ten minutes into the movie when you started to yawn, wondering why the pace of it was so slow. You then heard the keys beeping on your door and realized that Jay must have arrived from the gym.

“Hey, babe,” Jay called from the doorway. You reached out your hand to wave at him. “Did you order something online?”

You groaned as you pushed yourself up from the sofa. “I don’t think so. Why?”

“There’s this huge package for you,” Jay muffled, his face covered by the box he was holding up.

You jumped over the sofa and jogged towards him, confidently taking the box away from his hands because, by the looks of it, it was not heavy. You flipped it over and around to find the sender’s information, but all you could see was your address and details.

“What do you think it could be?” You asked Jay.

Jay frowned. “How would I know? It’s addressed to you.”

You placed the box down and just stared at it as if staring at it would bring you answers. Jay coughed once before pulling his duffel bag up and heading to the bedroom.

“Maybe it’s like a thank-you gift from one of your sponsors?” He asked nonchalantly.

“No, they’re not allowed to do that,” you answered. You tilted your head and looked at Jay. “Should I open it?”

Jay shrugged. “I mean, it’s your package. Do what you want. I’m gonna go shower.”

You sighed and staggered towards the kitchen to grab some scissors. You carefully opened the box and found another box inside, which was more expensive-looking, and with the words Bottega Veneta printed on its lid. You became even more confused.

Without waiting another second, you pulled the box out and uncovered the lid. Inside, you found a greeting card with your initials on it, and you immediately opened it.

Dearest Y/N,

I know how long you have had this on your wish list. I’m sorry it took me so long to get it for you. I hope you like the color.

-Namjoon

You grabbed the drawstring bag and pulled it open, only to find the padded cassette bag that you, as Namjoon said, had always wanted. It was in a dark brown color, which was not your first choice, but it was beautiful regardless. You remembered that it was the first designer bag on your wish list since before you even started working at your company, and by the time you were CEO you just did not bother getting bags that would not fit all your stuff.

It did not surprise you that Namjoon still remembered. After all, he was always the sentimental type, the type of guy that would indeed remember every small detail about you. You just did not expect him to go out of his way to do this for you, years after your breakup.

You did not notice how long you were just sitting on the counter with the box opened, and when Jay walked out of the bathroom, his movements almost startled you.

“What?” He asked, sensing something off.

“I’m gonna have to give this back,” you muttered, placing the bag on top of its drawstring case and into the box.

Jay walked over to stand on the opposite side of you. You gave the card to Jay, and he read it silently.

“Can’t you just mail it back?” He asked as he placed the card randomly in the box.

“There’s no address,” you said, checking the outside of the box one more time.

“I mean send it back to his house or something. You don’t know his address?” Jay asked again, sounding a little bit annoyed.

You shook your head. “He has moved a couple of times, so I don’t really keep up.”

“So you’re really gonna meet up with him?”

Jay had his back turned to you as he busied himself, getting mugs out and a kettle too. When he didn’t hear your answer, he turned to look at you.

“I mean, I guess? I can’t keep this. Do you want me to?”

You saw Jay staring blankly at the counter for a couple of seconds before shrugging again, trying to let you know that he did not care.

“Jay,” you called.

Jay filled the kettle with water before plugging it in. You cleared your throat.

“Jaaay,” you called again, this time with a little whine.

You pouted, and when Jay turned around your lips curved into a smile. He walked over to you and you immediately pulled him in for a hug. He rested his chin on your head and you took a deep breath near his neck.

“Can’t believe he’s out there gifting another man’s girlfriend,” Jay mumbled, annoyed.

“But I'm your fiancée?” You looked up at him and pouted again.

“Oops,” he whispered against your lips before kissing you.

---

You checked the time on your watch repeatedly as you hurried to the café, still being careful with your steps since you weren’t exactly wearing comfortable shoes. You had to meet Namjoon on a weekday, in the middle of your packed schedules since apparently being a musician makes you even busier than being a CEO. Or maybe Namjoon was messing with you and just wanted to see if you can reschedule and move meetings with the power you possess.

Namjoon told you he was going to sit in a corner, wearing all black, but he did not specify which corner, so you almost went to a table that was occupied by a university student trying to study quietly. You steered away from him very discreetly before heading to another corner where Namjoon had his nose buried in a book.

He looked at you and tilted his head as he recognized the paper bag you were holding. You smiled apologetically and grabbed the chair before Namjoon could even stand up, and then you sat and placed the paper bag in between your legs and his.

“I can’t stay long,” you said, panting.

Namjoon chuckled. “It’s nice to see you too, Y/N.”

“I can’t possibly accept this,” you said without indulging in small talk. You pushed the bag slightly towards him.

Namjoon shook his head. “I can’t possibly take it back.”

“Joon.”

“Y/N.”

There was a brief silence as you both looked at each other sternly. Namjoon sighed and was about to reach for his drink, but he knocked it over and with super speed you were able to catch it before it tipped and spilled all over the table. Namjoon’s hand hung in the air as his eyes fell on your ring finger.

“Well,” Namjoon said, smiling to himself. “Consider it an engagement gift, then. Or wedding?”

You shook your head. “First one,” you murmured, bringing your hand back to your lap.

Namjoon nodded and pressed his lips together, looking at the table since he felt like it was now impolite to look at you right in the eyes again. “Congratulations,” he said, almost in a whisper.

You did not say anything back except to give him a smile. You adjusted the ring on your finger.

“The guys have been asking about you a lot. Taehyung is wondering why you haven’t been to the club in ages, and Jungkook wants to know if there’s a job opening at your place. Hoseok, I think, is more interested to hang out with your fiancé. I don’t know why they’re asking me, though, since you and I barely talk anymore.”

You remained silent as you let Namjoon ramble. It was a habit of his that you had gotten used to. It was probably one of the reasons why you became a trained listener. You then realized that Jay often does the same thing, and you cursed yourself for even comparing the two.

“Anyway,” Namjoon continued after not hearing any reply from you. “I insist that you take it. It gives me peace of mind that I fulfilled my promise and that you get to check one thing off your wish list.”

You looked up at him again. “Joon…”

“Take it and I won’t bother you ever again. You don’t even have to wear it. Just keep it with you. But please just accept it. Don’t force me to take it back.”

For some reason, the desperation in his voice made you feel a lump in your throat. It was odd, though, since it had been ages since the two of you broke up, and it wasn’t even your fault. Maybe the way he felt so bad made you feel so bad, and you began to question if it was normal, or if it meant that you still harbored feelings for him.

“Y/N, you need to say something. You’re scaring me.”

You blinked and refocused on his presence in front of you. “Thank you,” you began, “for remembering.”

Namjoon smiled at you and you saw a hint of bitterness on his lips. “How could I forget?” He said before taking a sip of his drink.

You checked your watch again and Namjoon cleared his throat. You looked at him, but he beat you to speaking first.

“I actually have a meeting in half an hour. I gotta leave now,” he said as he pushed his chair back.

“Me too,” you said, quickly standing up. You stepped to the side and automatically moved closer to him.

Namjoon carefully leaned in for a hug and you hugged him back tighter.

“Be happy, Y/N,” he whispered. “You deserve it.”

He pulled away without waiting for a response from you. He smiled at you one last time before turning around and quickly leaving the café. You watched as he walked away, and then you shifted your gaze to the paper bag under the table.

You thought to yourself that, maybe, the bag would serve as a nice memento of your youth.

---

You found yourself staring out the window and into the view of the city below. Your fingers grasped the strap of your bag tightly, and for some reason the short period of solitude made you feel overwhelmed. After a while, you heard the footsteps as well as the sound of people speaking entering the living room.

“I hope you do like the place,” said Taeoh, your real estate agent. “If not, then I’ve got a couple more places for you to check out.”

You turned around and Jay was already answering Taeoh after he noticed that you seemed preoccupied with your thoughts. You watched them talk for another minute before Taeoh excused himself to answer a phone call.

“Yes? No?” Jay asked once he locked eyes with you.

You merely shrugged and Jay responded with a sigh. Having worked for you for years, Jay knew you were extremely picky, especially when it came to more permanent stuff.

“Should we go for some coffee? I told Taeoh we’re done for the day, and that maybe we can resume looking next week. I’ll find a slot in your schedule,” Jay said, taking his phone out and opening the calendar app.

“You sound like my assistant,” you replied.

Jay looked up at you and his eyebrows furrowed. “I kinda am?”

“But we’re looking a place for us. You’re not here as my assistant,” you complained. You brushed your hair back as you walked up to Jay. “Can you be more husband-y, please?”

Jay chuckled at the word you just coined, letting you rest your arms around his shoulder.

“Old habits,” Jay responded, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “I’ll do better next time.”

“Alright, I know I’m not the buyer, but seeing you two like this in the living room is so picturesque, I feel like making the down payment for this apartment, right now.”

You both turned to look at Taeoh who seemed very comfortable admiring the two of you. He then gave you both a huge smile and you all just broke into laughter.

“I like the place but I want to see more,” you said. “I mean, we would like to see more, please.”

Taeoh grinned and held his thumb up. “Anything for the beautiful couple. I’ll send some links to both of you later this evening.”

---

Jay’s face was buried into the new self-enrichment book that he had borrowed from Sunghoon, who claimed that it was ‘life-changing’ and very ‘eye-opening’. You thought that Jay was never the reading type, but after seeing him work with you for years, and living with you for months, you realized that his habit of reading was just overshadowed by the number of other activities he had to focus on. That was why the two of you were now sitting at a café that overlooked the river, killing time but enjoying the silence together.

As he flicked the edge of the book to get to a new page, he noticed how your hand hung in the air with your phone in it, and how you were staring blankly outside the window. He followed the direction of your eyes and turned his head, squinting and trying hard to find out what you were focusing on. You then sighed and put your phone on the table with a soft thud.

“I’m figuring out how to find the most efficient way to get around town if Heeseung gets selected for the scholarship.”

Jay blinked and for a second he was surprised that you voiced out your thoughts before he asked. He began to suspect if you could read minds.

“You mean, like, you want to look for a new driver?” Jay asked, putting his book face down on the table.

You tilted your head as you sucked the air between your teeth. “Would that be wise? Is it better to just have Mr. Lee work on weekdays, and then just get around on the weekends using public transport?”

Jay chuckled. “It’s like you’re forgetting that you have me. I can drive us around.”

“Yeah, I don’t want to make you sit through traffic. It’s already stressful enough. And finding a place to park?” You shuddered just by imagining the horror, and Jay laughed softly at your reaction.

“I don’t mind,” Jay said, grabbing your hand to kiss your knuckles. He then started sniffing the back of your hand obnoxiously and you had to pull your hand away before people started to stare. Jay merely chuckled, all amused.

“Taking the subway doesn’t sound so bad. If anything, we can get to places faster,” you continued, shifting your focus to the people walking by the river. “And if it’s a close distance we can just walk.”

“Walking takes longer, my love,” Jay replied nonchalantly as he grabbed his half-empty glass of iced tea.

You shrugged. “I don’t mind if it’s with you.”

Jay would be lying if he said his stomach didn’t do a somersault. All these hours together with you and he still gets butterflies.

“Alright then,” Jay said after clearing his throat. “I gotta make sure that we leave the house with comfortable shoes though.”

“I’ll let you be in charge of that,” you responded, picking up your phone again. “You’re going for basketball with the guys tonight, right?”

Jay checked the time on his watch before answering you. “Yes, but I still have a couple of hours before I go. Should we go and get takeout for your dinner? Or do you want me to cook up something for you?”

Sometimes, you felt a little selfish, and all you want to do is to have Jay do everything for you. But these days you have been learning to consider his side more and weigh the options to see which choice would make him exert the minimum amount of energy.

“Takeout is fine,” you finally answered. “I’ll have anything you pick.”

“You trust me that much?” He asked, smiling.

“You’re my secretary and my fiancé. Not trusting you would be a dumb move. And I am not dumb.”

Jay laughed before he nodded dramatically, agreeing with your words. You asked him if he was done reading, and he said he was even though he wasn’t, for all that he wanted to do was attend to your needs.

---

It was almost midnight when Jay arrived home. Before that, you had your dinner and opted to watch an animated movie, but your session was interrupted by a series of nonstop texts from both your parents who reported that one of your cats was ill. You calmly responded to them, giving detailed instructions on when and where they can bring your cat to the vet. You even asked Mr. Lee if he could drive your parents for the rest of the week, at least until your cat gets better.

Within minutes, the situation was handled, but you couldn’t help but worry about your family. You almost wanted to leave for your parents’ house immediately, but then you thought it would not help at all, and it’s not like being physically there would magically cure your cat. The news tanked your mood for the rest of the night, and before you know it you were already crying as you lay sideways on the sofa.

When Jay called out to greet you, you replied with a small wave, stretching your hand as much as you could so he could see where you were. You didn’t expect him to immediately walk towards you, though, so you quickly wiped your tears away before he could even see your face.

“Hey,” Jay said, gently lifting your legs so there was room for him to sit. “What are we watching?”

The time it took you to answer was unreasonably long, and when Jay turned to look at you, you were holding back tears. It did not take a second for Jay to end up on the floor, holding your hands while he looks at you full of concern.

“Can you tell me what happened?” He asked calmly, rubbing his thumb along your hand.

You took his hand and grasped it as you broke down crying. Jay stayed in place, patiently waiting for you to let it out, but once he noticed how you were struggling to breathe, he moved his hand to the small of your back.

“Let me help you sit up, okay?” Jay said, placing your hands around his neck for support. He made you sit straight, and you continued to sob, and for a while the only thing he was able to do was to sit by your side, keeping himself quiet as you rested your head on his shoulder.

“It’s my cat,” you began once you found the energy to speak. “My parents texted me.”

Jay turned to face you sideways, bringing one leg up on the sofa and resting his arm behind your back, gently caressing your shoulder. He listened as you told him everything, even showing Jay the messages in your group chat with your family. You told him how having pets for you was a source of happiness and stress at the same time, and he instantly remembered the way you would order him to run pet errands back in the day when he just started working for you.

Once you were done, he caressed your face softly and wiped the last of your tears away. You leaned into him, and he instinctively pulled you into a warm hug. He gave you the tightest hug and you sighed in relief, breathing in his scent.

“I’ll chat with your parents if it takes the burden away from you. I still have the number of your pet clinic, you know?”

You nodded, bumping your head to his chin, and he smiled before kissing your temple. Your arms loosened around him, and he took it as an opportunity to pull back.

“I’ll run you a bath and make you tea, after that let’s just call it a day and sleep early. How does that sound?”

“I don’t even want to do skincare.”

“I’ll do it for you.”

You looked into Jay’s eyes, and you felt like drowning in them. Before you could choke up and cry again, you nodded, and Jay got up so quick that you felt a gush of wind hit your face. He then leaned in to kiss your cheek.

“Sorry,” he said softly. “I’ll let you know once it’s ready.”

The rest of the night went slow. As you took your bath, Jay sat on a small stool beside the bathtub, distracting you from sad thoughts by telling you the funny episodes that had happened earlier while he was hanging out with the boys. When you smiled or chuckled a little, Jay would smile back and tilt your chin up to see you better. The cup of tea he brought to you when you started your bath was emptied within minutes, and when you were done, he continued to take care of you by putting on your skincare, not letting you even lift a finger.

As you changed into your silk pajamas, Jay excused himself to take a shower. You lay down on your bed and faced your side as you scrolled your phone, and minutes later, Jay was already out of the bathroom and clicking his tongue in disapproval.

“No phone. I’ll reply to your parents,” Jay said with a stern voice, gently taking your phone away from your hands.

You watched as Jay quickly dried his hair and changed into his own pajamas, and when he climbed into bed you held the covers up so he could scoot in easily. His hands found your waist in no time, and he snaked his arms around you as he pulled you closer to him.

“Try not to think about it too much, okay?” He started as he closed his eyes but continued to talk to you.

You started asking him about random stuff, and he would answer you with his eyes closed. Sometimes he would take a short pause, and you thought that he had fallen asleep, but before you could say his name again, he would answer you. After a couple minutes, the way his hand was softly stroking your back made you feel even more relaxed than before, and you caught yourself staring at his half-asleep face.

“Jay,” you whispered.

“Yes, Boss,” he whispered back, holding in a smirk.

“Let’s get married,” you said.

Jay chuckled, keeping his eyes closed. “We’re already doing that, love.”

“I mean let’s get married tomorrow. Or soon. As soon as possible. Without a wedding reception.”

Jay slowly opened his eyes and found yours staring at him, glossy from either the reflection of the night light or the tears you were holding in.

“But you deserve a huge wedding. We can afford it, and I’ve already made a list of all the vendors—”

“I don’t want one.”

You blinked once and you shed a single tear, letting it trickle sideways to the pillow. Jay brought his hand up to caress your face.

“It could just be us, with our parents. We can find someone to officiate, and I don’t even have to be in a wedding dress.”

“Y/N, listen…”

“No, you listen.”

Jay licked his lips nervously, afraid he was going to say something wrong. He let you hold his hand in yours, intertwining your fingers together as you continued.

“I don’t need a fancy wedding. I don’t need an audience. I just want you to be my husband as soon as possible. I don’t care about anything else.”

Your lips began to tremble, and Jay ran his thumb across them to keep you from falling apart again.

“Are you absolutely sure?” He asked calmly.

You nodded. “Don’t you want it too?”

“Of course,” he replied without missing a beat. “Of course, I do.”

You tilted your head up to meet his lips, and when he kissed you, it felt electrifying. You couldn’t be more sure about this decision.

“Then it will be the first thing I’ll do in the morning. Give me two days max, and we’ll make it happen. Deal?”

Jay’s manner of speaking made you chuckle, and this time you cried happy tears. “Deal,” you whispered in response.

“Good,” Jay nodded before pulling you back into his arms. He held you tight and kept your head close to his chest. “My heart aches when you cry, so please forgive me for doing this. You can cry all you want, but you’re just gonna have to let me hold you close.”

You smiled between your soft sobs, and you spoke right into his chest, sending vibrations through his body.

“Thank you,” you sobbed. “I love you.”

Jay squeezed your shoulder before moving his hand back up your head to stroke your hair, knowing it was the fastest way to make you fall asleep.

“I love you the most.”

---

The following week went by in the blink of an eye. After another day of asking if you were sure, Jay handled everything and kept his word of communicating with your parents. Your cat got better within days, and around the same time, you heard from Jay that he had found someone who could officiate the wedding.

You meticulously went through your wardrobe, finding a dress that had the perfect length and the perfect color for your mini wedding ceremony. Jay was by your side the whole time, giving you the input that you didn’t even know that you needed. You finally decided on a beige-colored A-line dress with puffy sleeves and a skirt that reached your knees. While you were trying it on, Jay took out a necklace that at first you thought was the pearl choker that he got for you from his London trip.

“Is this new?” You asked, tracing your fingers along the necklace as he gently clasped it behind your neck.

“Yeah, I robbed a jewelry store this morning,” Jay said nonchalantly, his mouth pouting in concentration.

He then looked at you all seriously for two seconds before breaking into laughter, and all you could do was ruffle his hair.

Your marriage ceremony took place in the City Hall, on a Thursday evening. Your parents, as well as Jay’s, stood proudly as you walked into the hall. Mr. Lee was the first one to shed a tear as he kept his eyes on you, and his granddaughter had to tug him to get his attention. Your mother squeezed your father’s hand when you smiled at them, and Jay’s mother blew you a kiss when you made eye contact.

The ceremony was short and sweet, yet your heart felt like exploding once you heard the words ‘you may kiss the bride’. Jay’s lips touched yours in the softest way possible, and you were lost in your thoughts for a couple of seconds before you heard the faint sound of clapping from both your parents and Mr. Lee’s family. You looked over to your mother, who was holding up her phone since your brother had phoned in and demanded a video call.

You walked over to Jay’s parents, and his mother pulled you into her arms. While you rested your head on her shoulder and nodded to all her words, Jay’s father calmly wiped the tears streaming down your face with a handkerchief. Meanwhile, your father had his arm around Jay’s shoulders, pulling him in close as both your parents began to lecture him or praise him—you honestly could not tell the difference.

You give your small wedding bouquet to Mr. Lee’s granddaughter, who squealed so loud it echoed throughout the room. You then thanked Mr. Lee and his wife for making time to attend the ceremony, and you thought you had shed enough happy tears, but when Mr. Lee said he wouldn’t miss it for the world since you were already like a daughter to him, you bawled again.

“You shouldn’t be crying so much on your wedding,” Jay said as you nestled your face into the crook of his neck. “It makes me look bad.”

You chuckled and softly punched his chest. He only hugged you tighter.

Soon after, there was a slight argument over ways to get home—Mr. Lee insisted on driving you home and you refused, claiming that he should be taking his family home, then Jay insisted that he would drive, but then your parents said no groom should drive on his wedding day, and then the argument quickly spiraled to other things.

You saw Jay getting distracted with his phone, and when you were about to ask him, you heard someone entering the hall. Almost all of you turned at the same time, and you smiled widely at the sight of your second driver, the younger Mr. Lee.

“Hello,” Heeseung said awkwardly, nervous to be around old faces and important people. “I’m here to save the day.”

The ride home was quite chaotic too. You were texting your parents and Mr. Lee nonstop, begging them to tell you when they arrive safely at their homes. Jay also had a short call with his mother, and throughout the whole thing, Heeseung merely stared at you both through the rearview mirror.

“You guys really should have invited me to the ceremony,” Heeseung said. “The way you could have saved yourselves from the argument.”

“Thanks for coming on short notice, Heeseung,” you replied as you leaned in and gave him an acknowledging pat on the shoulder.

“Well, you know, your best friend texts you claiming he had just gotten married and needs a ride home. I would be a jerk for not dropping everything to come and help, right?”

Jay scoffed and rolled his eyes. Heeseung chuckled a little before clearing his throat.

“Congratulations, you two,” he continued. “When I see you two together, it just makes sense.”

You smiled and turned to Jay, who had been looking at you the whole time. You rested your chin on his shoulder, and he placed a gentle kiss on your forehead, mouthing the words ‘I love you’ as you closed your eyes.

---

“So wifey,” Jay cleared his throat, “what should we order for dinner tonight?”

You almost snorted at the new nickname, but Jay was looking at you in anticipation with a stupid grin on his face, so all you could give as a response was another stupid grin.

“I don’t know, hubby. You pick.”

“God, I’m so lucky,” Jay sighed, picking you up like a princess and spinning you around. You giggled and begged him to stop before he gave you a headache, and he kissed your lips after laying you down on the sofa.

“I kinda feel like tacos. What do you think? If that sounds meh I can order you a burger from the same place,” Jay spoke as he scrolled through his phone.

“Burger is fine. But can I just take a long shower first while we wait for the food to come?”

You reached out for his hand, and he stood firm as you used him as support to stand up. He nodded and you happily trotted into your bedroom, unzipping your dress along the way. Jay stood there for a while admiring your back before snapping back to his senses and actually placing an order for your dinner.

The food arrived faster than predicted, and Jay was wondering why you were taking so long, so he went after you and carefully pushed the bathroom door open. You were standing with your eyes closed and letting the warm water wash all over you, while you were belting out notes to the song that was playing through your Bluetooth speakers. Jay chuckled in amusement and leaned on the doorway to comfortably observe you, but his private show only lasted seconds since you turned around and almost gave yourself a heart attack.

Jay laughed out loud once he saw your surprised face, and because you were embarrassed, you gathered enough water in your palms to splash him. He shrieked out of shock, and it was then your turn to cackle loudly.

“Don’t just stand there! Join me,” you demanded.

“I was waiting for you to ask,” Jay replied, quickly unbuttoning his shirt.

You welcomed him in your embrace as he entered the small space, and when his hands touched your waist, you flinched from the cold of his skin. Jay pulled you closer, pressing your body to his as he began kissing your neck like he had been waiting all day to do so. You closed your eyes and whimpered when you felt his teeth grazing your collarbone, and you could feel him harden between your legs.

“Jump,” he whispered beside your ear. You pulled back and looked at him, unsure. “I got you.”

He held you by your ass as soon as you wrapped your legs around his waist, and he gently pushed you up against the wall. The cold on your back contrasted with the heat of his body, and the way his lips continued to kiss you along your neck made you roll your eyes back. You held on to his shoulders tighter, and he nudged your chin with his nose before bringing his lips up to yours.

Once his tongue enveloped yours, he entered you with a gentle force. You moaned helplessly in his mouth as he continued to devour your lips, steadily moving his hips against yours. There was no other sound except for the running water and the soft slapping of skin, and as you kept your feet hooked around him you began caressing his face, keeping your foreheads pressed together.

You finished first, and as you both panted and took in each other’s breaths, he squeezed your ass harder before thrusting slowly. You brought him close and made him rest his face on the crook of your neck, and your moans were soft against his ear as you felt him chase his own high before releasing himself inside of you. Only then did he carefully let go of your legs, moving his hands up to your waist to make sure you were able to stand up.

His display of love did not stop there. Jay continued to caress your body for a hot minute before helping you wash your hair and rub your back. You instantly returned the favor and you both giggled after you shaped his hair into an obnoxious faux hawk. The two of you stepped out of the shower feeling completely clean, and you did your skincare routine side by side, sometimes nagging him when he tugged on his skin too roughly.

“Are you already sleepy?” Jay asked as he noticed your eyes looking heavy.

You fought back a yawn before answering. “I’m more hungry than sleepy. Why do you ask?”

“You mentioned how you’d feel relaxed after having sex with me,” Jay said, moving his face towards your cheek until it was inches apart.

“Do not start a second round, otherwise I will make you redo all of my skincare steps,” you warned him as you stared sharply at him through the mirror.

Jay huffed before standing back up straight. “Okay, Boss.”

You headed to the kitchen with Jay trailing behind you. Then you both sat at the kitchen counter, enjoying the burger meal that had already gone cold. As you listened to Jay talking about the most random stuff and almost choking on a French fry, you realized that there was nowhere else you would rather be, and you wouldn’t have your wedding night any other way.

-END-

© forjongseong 2023, all rights reserved

read the next part: enchule

[latinotiktok]

Che, capaz que soy yo que me enteré tarde. Pero como es eso de que una diputada presento un proyecto de ley de dudosas firmas que podría o no dar problemas legales... pero que mientras tanto continua como proyecto de ley

De que me perdí

No le aviso a nadie, inclusive a los que "firmaron". Y hablamos de la ley del aborto, donde quieren que sea punible en todos los casos porque creen que "por ninguna razón, por más dramática que sea" se perdone el aborto.

Violacion = drama.

A quien mierda le dieron el poder, mamita.

[conobarco]

Hola amigue de tumblr. No te conozco, no me conoces.

Pero quiero contarte mi experiencia de alguien que antes detestaba a los televidentes de gran hermano, alguien que se creía moralmente superior por no dar bola a un programa voyeurista y culturalmente nefasto.

Un día se me dio por quedar viendo una gala. Estaba planchando, aburrida y agotada, sin ganas de poner a trabajar una sola neurona. Y me parecía tan estúpido el drama de la casa, tan ridículamente exagerado, era gracioso ver a esa gente pelearse como gladiadores en un coliseo iluminado por focos fresnel. Y después entre a twitter, y era tendencia una de las frases que se tiraron. Y había memes, gente defendiendo un lado u otro, y risas. Risas y lágrimas y felicidad.

Y entonces me di cuenta

Todos los que ven gran hermano saben de su jocosa pantomima. Es el escenario de un teatro popular donde jugamos a extrapolar miniedades. Los protagonistas lo saben, los panelistas también y el público más que nadie.

Y entonces me di cuenta

Ellos nunca me excluyeron de su felicidad, no les importaba mi pristina indiferencia, eran más grandes en sus periplo de fantasía que yo en mi pulcra intelectualidad. Jamás pensé que mi brillante mente, ávida de construcciones sociales hechas por analistas de reconocido carácter mundial, simplemente, nunca había podido entender el chiste, y así me sentí parte del mismo.

Y elegí reirme un poco.

Y así me di cuenta

Aguante Furia gran hermano papu😎

[qernn]

Mi fiebre está empezando a remitir y parece que saldré de esta antes de lo que pensaba 🤣 Sé que no debo explicaciones a nadie, pero como ya sois casi como parte de mi familia, pues os dejo la actualización por aquí.

Alrededor del 25 de diciembre tuve unas fiebres que mi médica dijo que eran causadas por estrés, y no iba desencaminada, pues he pasado meses muy extremos y recién estaban saliendo todas las emociones a flote. El caso es que, conforme se acercaba año nuevo, había remontado, pero era una sensación falsa que duró un par de días y volví a recaer. Un test y supe que me había contagiado de gripe A.

Dieron igual las medidas de prevención, el no salir, la higiene. Ahí estaba yo con mi positivo, mis 39° de fiebre y mi tos de pecho intentando ayudar en el negocio familiar (por obligación) porque ya tenían bajas de empleados por lo mismo. Obviamente, esto me hizo retrasar la mejora un par de días más.

Lo bueno es que hoy me he despertado con una temperatura más estable, aunque la fatiga es inmensa (y estoy hecha toda mocos y tos) 🫣. Soy una dramas porque no ha pasado tanto tiempo, ¡pero os echo de menos!

Cuidaos mucho, por favor, que se viene una oleada grande de contagios (en España, al menos)❤️ Mandadme fotos de mascotas, abrazos, contadme vuestra vida y poned una velita para que mañana ya esté en mis cabales para juntar dos letras con sentido 🤣

[fragmentos-adolescentes]

¿Y qué, si yo no quiero ser la mujer perfecta?...

Si no me interesa agradar a los demás, si no lucho por ser la número uno en todo, y me conformo con un tres o cuatro.

¿Y qué, si mi cabello no es perfecto?

Si no tengo el peso ideal, o las mejores medidas .

Si no soy el estereotipo que todos buscan, o si hago dramas, y no puedo quedarme callada cuando algo no me parece.

Simplemente es lo que soy, no busco quedar bien con nadie, me amo tal cual y me siento feliz y orgullosa de todo este conjunto de defectos, que para algunos otros pueden ser virtudes, y que para mí, es ser auténtica.

Pura maldad ❄️

[anntriccs]

Aqui están mis pensamientos sobre B!Kazuya ☺💕

Me emocioné y se hizo largo, pero es que tus ideas siempre me inspiran😅💕

Creo que como dijiste su mayor conflicto como villano seria el motivo su nacimiento, ya que el solo vería su existencia como uno más de los métodos de manipulación de Dazai. Me imagino que su cariño-odio por Dazai será lo que mas lo impulse a su villanía en este universo. Tiene buenos recuerdos del poco tiempo que convivieron juntos pero al crecer y sentir que solo lo creó y utilizó como un medio para proteger la ciudad (y a Oda) y mantener encadenado a su papá, ese cariño se convirtió en odio. Por lo que pensó "Si ese estúpido se sacrificó a sí mismo por sus objetivos, yo voy sacrificar a todos los demás por los míos" Por lo que para liberarse a sí mismo del plan de su padre y vengarse de él, hara todo lo contrario a sus deseos. Destruira la ciudad de Yokohama, matara a Oda y liberara a su papá de sus cadenas. El no va a auto-inmolarse ni nada por el estilo (ya vio como eso lastimó a su papá) No, no vamos a hacer eso otra vez. Esta vez serán los demás quienes se sacrificaran por su deseo. Me imagino lo complejas que deben ser sus emociones😓 Desprecia tanto a Dazai, pero al mismo tiempo aun lo quiere y lo extraña. A él y a aquellos tiempos lejanos en que los tres juntos solian ser una familia normal. Y se odia a sí mismo por eso, por creer en las mentiras de Dazai, por pensar que su amor por ellos era real, por no haber podido proteger a su papá y por encima de todo, odia parecerse tanto a Dazai. Por lo que intenta fingir que "ese hombre" (nunca se referirá a el como su padre) no le importa, que su ☠ no significa nada para el, que sus acciones no lo lastimaron. Por otro lado. Kazuya ama muchísimo a Chuuya, no permitirá que nadie lo utilice y quiere protegerlo de todo mal. Pero siente que no es más que una carga y un tormento para el precisamente por parecerse tanto a "ese hombre" y por lo que el cree que fue el motivo de su nacimiento (este chico tiene un conflicto existencial y un odio a si mismo muy serios). Quiere liberar a su papá de su sufrimiento incluso si eso significara apartarse de él, pero no lo hara porque sabe que su papá no soportaría estar solo (El no se parecerá a "ese hombre" en eso)

*Creo que sin querer aplique el tropo constante de todos los Shonen de que los hijos siempre aman de sobremanera a un padre y odian al otro para facilitar el drama😅 Generalmente no me gusta pero siento que aquí encajaría*

*Puntos extra si Kazuya se convierte en un hijo sobreprotector que impide que Chuuya tenga citas (porque 1-jamas permitira que una basura indigna se acerque a su papá y 2-aunque desprecia a Dazai con su vida, admite a regañadientes que él es el único padre que reconoce) además Kazuya no se avergüenza de admitirle a Chuuya que hace esto porque sus tíos lo apoyan😎)

*Más puntos extra si resulta que fue Dazai quien le metió esta idea en la cabeza de niño, diciéndole que cuando el no estuviera cerca, Kazuya tenía como misión proteger y mantener a su papá lejos de "la basura y la alimañas"😒🗡*

Kazuya ama a Lyubov pero al mismo tiempo se mantiene a distancia de ella, y no expresa sus sentimientos porque teme que acabara lastimandola (y no lo culpo, el ejemplo de romance más cercano que ha tenido término muy mal) Tiene miedo de repetir los mismos patrones que Dazai y si a eso le sumamos su odio a sí mismo... no se ve como alguien digno de amor que digamos (hasta que Lyubov le hace ver que si no quiere ser como su padre, tiene que hacer exactamente eso, superar sus miedos, ser sincero con sus sentimientos, comunicarse y no guardarse las cosas para el solo, tiene que confíar en ella, porque ella lo ama y el es digno de eso) Quiere destruir la ciudad y la Agencia de Detectives hasta los cimientos como parte de su plan, pero entiende que los detectives como individuos no tienen la culpa y no pidieron nada de esto. El no los odia, comprende que todos ellos, al igual que el, solo fueron peones para cumplir los deseos de Dazai. Pero se rehusa a seguir sus planes (nunca más será su peón) y si ellos se interponen en su camino, entonces no tiene más remedio que lastimarlos para quitarlos de en medio aunque no les guarde rencor, pero nunca irá a matar seriamente contra ellos. Con excepción de uno. Creo que al principio de su intento de venganza, Kazuya intentaría engañarse a sí mismo y a Oda diciendo que, al igual que con la Agencia, no va contra el por algo personal, simplemente lo hará para ir en contra de los deseos de Dazai y liberarse de él, Oda como individuo no importa en la ecuación, es solo un daño colateral, no lo odia, etc. Quiere mentirse a si mismo para fingir que no le importa "ese hombre" ni nada que tenga que ver con el. Hasta que su odio se libera y no es capaz de fingir más. Porque en realidad esto es más que personal. Desprecia a Oda casi tanto o más que a Dazai. Porque siente que por su culpa los abandonaron a él y a Chuuya. Ve su continua existencia como una fuente de sufrimiento y un recordatorio constante para su papá de que Dazai eligió el bienestar de alguien más (un completo desconocido) que a su propia familia y por eso quiere destruirlo con tanta o más fuerza que todo lo demás. Para callar esa parte de él que no quiere reconocer.

Ese niño herido y abandonado llorando en la oscuridad por el amor que le robaron.

*Oda no se salva de sufrir en ningún universo😅* Pienso que la posibilidad de redención para Kazuya vendría de entender que a pesar de todo lo que hizo Dazai, el genuinamente los amaba a él y sobre todo a Chuuya, que aunque fuera terrible demostrándolo y su amor fuera retorcido, era real. Que los recuerdos bonitos que compartieron no eran mentiras ni un método de manipulacion ni parte de este "gran plan" para proteger Yokohama, no fue por Oda, o la Agencia, o el mundo, sino por "ellos"

Porque Dazai amaba a Chuuya, porque aunque fuera por poco tiempo quería una familia con el, porque quería que aunque el ya no estuviera ellos dos fueran felices. Qué Kazuya entendiera que su nacimiento no fue para encadenar a Chuuya, sino para darle algo que amar y proteger para que no se sintiera solo cuando Dazai ya no estuviera. Su nacimiento no fue un acto de manipulación. Su nacimiento fue un acto de amor.

*Puntos extras si esta revelación se da por un flashback o una "Visión del Destino Místico" en donde aparezca Dazai como fantasma y la primera reacción de Kazuya sea patearlo en la cara😂*

*Más puntos extra si Dazai luego le pregunta a su hijo si cumplió con su tarea de mantener a "su perro" lejos de las "alimañas" y que, luego de que Kazuya entienda, le de otra patada y le grite "ESTO ES OTRO PLAN TUYO!? PAPÁ NO ES UN PERRO!" Se calme y le diga que si, que seguirá cumpliendo esa misión, porque aunque lo odie sabe que su papá solo lo ama a él y a regañadientes admite que Dazai es el único digno del amor de Chuuya (aunque un piensa que sus padres son unos completos lunáticos😅)*

*Corte a un Dazai orgulloso de su hijo, y de que se parezca tanto a su papá (especialmente en sus golpes😅) comenzando a despedirse diciendole que lo siente, que se cuide y que le mande saludos a su papá. Y Kazuya, ahora con una nueva visión de las cosas, le diga "también me parezco a ti" y Dazai se sorprende y le sonríe antes de despedirse😭*

Y esto sería todo. Perdón si se hizo demasiado largo. Me encantaría saber tu opinión de esto💕

Este AU realmente me llegó😭

*Puntos extras si esta revelación se da por un flashback o una "Visión del Destino Místico" en donde aparezca Dazai como fantasma y la primera reacción de Kazuya sea patearlo en la cara😂* más puntos extra si vas a ir luego le pregunta Si cumplió su tarea de mantener suya lejos de las alimañ

El conflicto entre Kazuya y Oda seria potente, jaja, especialmente porque imagino que Oda vería a Kazuya como al resto de los niños, sin importarle de quien es hijo. Entendería perfectamente bien sus motivaciones, pero como él también tendría algo que proteger, no se la dejaría tan fácil a Kazuya, pero sí empatizaria con él y entendería su enojo, y a la vez se enojaría con Dazai por insertar con o sin querer esa idea en Kazuya de que Oda fue mucho más importante que él o Chuuya.

Como mencioné en la respuesta anterior, imagino que B!Kazuya intentaría alejarse de todo primero e "ignorar" lo que le molesta, incluso su crisis de identidad, con tal de seguir con el único papel que conoce (un conflicto que el "canon" Kazuya también tiene, spoiler 👀), pero acabaría por cansarse y llevar todo a un extremo tal como has mencionado, y para intentar "repararse a sí mismo", intentaría hacer que Yokohama cayera.

Por supuesto, entre eso Kazuya también intentaría "liberar" a Chuuya de Yokohama, ya que sentiría que él es la razón de que siga con un plan del cuál nunca le informaron, y creo que B!Chuuya sería principalmente quien lo detendría de destruir todo porque no querría ver a su hijo llegar al mismo punto en que llegó B!Dazai. Creo que Oda también podría participar en eso porque es la mejor figura paterna para todos, jaja, e incluso lo imagino "disculpándose" por ser la razón de tanto sufrimiento, y Kazuya negándose a recibir disculpas porque, de todas formas, ninguno de ellos tienen culpa de nada.

No creo que una relación entre B!Kazuya y B! Lyubov iniciaría inmediatamente, ya que, como comentaste, aunque los sentimientos estarían ahi, Kazuya no sabría como es el "amor romántico", ya que no tiene ningún ejemplo, y ya que nuestro niño no debe seguir el mismo destino que su padre ni saltar de ningún edificio, el final para él en BEAST sería marcharse de Yokohama y alejarse de la ciudad para encontrar su propia identidad. Y quien sabe, tal vez no se marche solo 👀

De todas formas, me divertí mucho leyendo y comentando esto! 💕 Sin duda hay muchas ideas para hacer una novela de la novela, jaja 💕

[tengomilpalabrasparati]

Ser auténtica

¿Y qué, si yo no quiero ser la mujer perfecta?...

Si no me interesa agradar a los demás, si no lucho por ser la número uno en todo, y me conformo con un tres o cuatro.

¿Y qué, si mi cabello no es perfecto?

Si no tengo el peso ideal, o las mejores medidas .

Si no soy el estereotipo que todos buscan, o si hago dramas, y no puedo quedarme callada cuando algo no me parece.

Simplemente es lo que soy, no busco quedar bien con nadie, me amo tal cual y me siento feliz y orgullosa de todo este conjunto de defectos, que para algunos otros pueden ser virtudes, y que para mí, es ser auténtica.

ℜ𝔬𝔰𝔞🖤

[anhel-con-h-muda]

The show must go on

Well, quise hacer como que todo iba normal y simplemente reaparecía en el foro como si nada, pero han pasado semanas y me da mucha ansiedad dar la impresión que sólo me desaparezco porque me da la gana cuando el rol con ustedes es muy importante para mi.

No me iré a la larga, pero lo cierto es que mi hermana menor tiene varios trastornos que la tenían en un centro de rehabilitación -a falta de hospital mental, porque afortunadamente no es adicta-, y justo este último mes estaba readaptándose poco a poco a reinsertarse en sociedad. O sea, salir a pasar unos días con mi mamá, y el resto de la semana en el centro y así.

Pues, yo me mudé a otra ciudad, así que me enteré estando a cuatro horas de distancia que, en una de estas salidas, mi hermana escapó estando con mi mamá. Obviando la ansiedad y angustia que nos hizo pasar esto, porque era la segunda vez que teníamos que reportarla desparecida, la encontraron creo que un día después unos amigos de su papá. Ufff esto complicó las cosas, porque los amigos del papá de mi hermana siempre fueron partidarios de él, así que no quisieron entregarla a ningún lado hasta que el papá llegara -porque el señor vive en la otra punta del país-

OBVIAMENTE esto consigue mucho drama familiar, traumas internos y conflictos bomba. Tuve que esperar varios días para poder ir a acompañar a mi mamá y mi otro hermano, que es más pequeño. E incluso si todo se pudo resolver en un fin de semana, me ha dejado un hoyo emocional que estuve subestimando varios días.

Puedo decir que estoy bien, mi hermana está bien y toda mi familia está bien. Que se joda el papá de mi hermana que alguna vez también fue mi padre -pero me desheredó porque no aguantó un mensaje de reproche mío, no me arrepiento-, y le agradezco que su narcisismo me haya inspirado para crear a Hrodwyn Ravenhill.

Necesito regresar al foro porque, seguro ustedes comprenden mejor que nadie, es una vía de escape que necesito y un punto de inspiración que no quiero perder en momentos difíciles. Amo mis personajes, amo mis tramas, y amo este foro tanto como amo esta pequeña comunidad. Sentía demasiada culpa por no estar posteando apropiadamente, y esta publicación me ayuda a calmar la consciencia para avisarles que ahorita hubo un poco de mierda extra en mi vida, y por eso es que no pude ser constante.

[ruined-0]

"Me siento más tuyo que mío" me dijo con lagrimas en los ojos

Y a los días siguientes me enteré que había alguien mas

No era ni mío,ni siquiera era suyo,el no es de nadie,ni siquiera de su propiedad

Quisiera haberle demostrado enojo,pero lo amé más de lo que le pude expresar

Lo amé dándole la libertad de poder volar,solo me hubiera gustado que tenga sinceridad

Que me diga cara cara que lo nuestro no iba para más

Si quien soy yo prohibirle que se vaya,si es que a otra mujer ama

aunque me duele el alma le deseo lo mejor del mundo,y pedir que no vuelva nunca mas

Porque si me hubiera querido no estaría posando en otra cama

Y a pesar de que el amor que le tengo no se borra ni se opaca,pero yo a esta altura ya no estoy para dramas

Queria estabilidad,un hogar para crear,una persona con lealtad y buscar en medio del caos la calma.

[chicacielogris]

Relatos de mi diario sobre cosas que jamás pasaron

Querido diario... Ahí estaba yo, viernes en la noche. Estaba apunto de meterme a la cama cuando solo mi teléfono, era mi mejor amigo.

Hacia un par de semanas que él y su novia habían roto así que creí que me llamaría por un bajón o tal vez estaba pedo y necesitaba apoyo moral.

Por suerte no era el caso, solo necesitaba un favor: 'Ocurre que mañana es esta boda a la que me habían invitado hace algunos meses, se supone iría con ella pero, obvio, ya no se va a poder, ¿irías conmigo? la neta me hace falta distracción pero no quiero estar solo...'

Me la pensé por un segundo: '¿de quién es la boda?', pregunté por curiosidad. Él, astuto me ignoró y prosiguió a rogarme: 'Anda, te encantan las bodas, no me vayas a dejar morir con extraños...'

Por supuesto, no lo iba a dejar morir solo, así que acepté.

A la mañana siguiente saque todo lo que tenía en mi closet buscando algo decente que usar en la boda, lo más lindo y sutil que encontré fue un vestido morado, lo había comprado el año anterior para ir al cine a ver la película de taylor swift. Un vestido morado similar al usado en speak now tour, cosa que me dio risa porque lo usaría para una boda.

Dejando de lado la ironía del vestido morado proseguí a arreglarme y esperar que mi bf pasara por mi. Paso todo el camino hablándome sobre su mal de amores y negándose a responder mi pregunta sobre quien se casaba.

Habíamos omitido la ceremonia religiosa porque no era de nuestro gusto y llegamos directamente a la recepción en el salón donde se haría la boda por el civil de aquellos desconocidos.

Lo que aconteció apenas entramos fue digno de una sitcom. Apenas entre por aquel pasillo adornado de luces, tomada de la mano de mi mejor amigo cuando, todos los invitados, incluyendo a los novios volearon a verme, sorprendidos. En shock.

Resultó que aquel que se casaba era un ex novio mío de la prepa (viejo amigo de mi bf) , con quien las cosas no terminaron muy bien y cuya ahora esposa me odiaba de sobre manera (exagerado a mi parecer).

Mi mirada, seria se volvió hacia mi amigo exigiendo una explicación, su mirada me respondió con un 'lo siento' juguetón. Del otro lado del lugar, el novio me miraba con sorpresa mientas que la novia con un enojo bastante evidente.

De pronto, un ejemplar con un amplio traje de brillos y un porta papeles corrió hacia el dj, emocionado y con una sonrisa traviesa. Entonces sonó la canción...

Al reconocer que él dj acababa de recibirme con la mismísima canción de speak now, en la boda de un ex y con vestido morado, no pude con la pena, tome a mi bf del brazo y nos fuimos corriendo a algún rincón para evitar reírme.

Después de la ceremonia y la comida decidí salir a tomar aire y me encontré con el wedding planner y su traje de brillitos, quien resultó ser swiftie y se le hizo chistoso verme entrar con el vestido morado. Entonces proseguí a contarle mi dramática e infantil historia con él novio y el porque todos estaban tan sacados de onda.

Mi bf salio a fumar y nos encontró platicando, así que le contamos la historia de la canción y el vestido morado. Los tres morimos de la risa con la s historias.

La noche paso sin más disfrutando la fiesta, evitando el drama y con un nuevo amigo.

Te juro que nadie me creería esta historia sino fuera porque el camarógrafo capto el momento exacto de mi llegada. Mi nuevo amigo de aquella noche me consiguió el clip y ahora lo guardo porque vaya que fue divertida la serie de coincidencias.

xoxo gris

[la-semillera]

HELENA ALMEIDA & REBECCA SOLNIT

Apenas tenía amistades, y casi ninguna de las que entablé en la adolescencia y con veintipocos años se avenía conmigo, quizás porque yo no sabía quién era o porque quería ser otra persona y por tanto ignoraba quiénes eran como yo o quiénes simpatizaban conmigo. O porque la amabilidad no era un criterio. Más tarde, cerca ya de los treinta, hice amigos que han perdurado, y luego más, y la sensación de estar a solas en un extremo se convirtió en la sensación de estar en las zonas fronterizas de diversos territorios, por lo que empecé a disfrutar trasladando ideas, proyectos y gente de un círculo a otro, y las carencias y la soledad desaparecieron.

Pasé una etapa en la que me acerqué a los poderes que se suponía que no eran para mi ni quizá para mi género. A principios de los noventa me compré una moto, y acelerar, arrancar, mover su peso para aparcarla o ponerla derecha o levantarla cuando volcaba me producía una especie de placer de macho (más que montarla, que siempre me dio un poco de miedo por los coches, antes de que me la robaran a los nueve meses de haberla comprado). Poco después aprendí a hacer ejercicio con pesas y aparatos de pesas al darme cuenta por fin de que el cuerpo necesita mantenimiento y de que el estrés que petrificaba el mío se mitigaba al menos por un tiempo con el ejercicio intenso.

Al cabo de dos o tres años, el novio que vivía en el Mojave me enseñó a usar un rifle de calibre 22: una tarde hermosa, a última hora, nos internamos en el desierto y disparamos contra latas de cerveza Olde English hasta el anochecer, cuando nuestras sombras se alargaron treinta metros o más sobre la tierra llana. Me pareció inquietantemente divertido, aunque cuando fuimos a cazar con su padre, que se había pasado la vida en el ejército y mucho tiempo en combate, el hombre me contó que, por órdenes directas de un general, se había visto obligado a disparar contra civiles en una colina muy lejana... y que desde entonces tenía pesadillas. Fue una advertencia digna y solemne de que las armas deben tomarse en serio. Durante una breve temporada también aprendí kárate Shotokan con una campeona mundial que no tenía miedo a nada cuando caminaba por la calle. El mero hecho de gritar, patear y golpear exigía un sentido distinto del yo. Cada una de esas acciones parecía una pequeña usurpación de poderes que antes había creído que no estaban destinados a personas como yo. Las cosas empezaban a cambiar.

El acoso en las calles dejó en gran medida de ser un problema y mi recelo disminuyó, aunque nunca desapareció. No fue un experimento científico con un grupo de control, por lo que resulta difícil saber qué cambió exactamente. Quizá superé la edad en que se suele estar en el punto de mira. Quizás la cultura cambió de algún modo, aunque conozco a chicas jóvenes que todavía sufren acoso y agresiones en las calles. Quizá el que me espabilara en el espacio urbano constituyó un factor importante: aprendí a mostrar respeto y reconocimiento por las personas con quienes me encontraba y a no involucrarme en los dramas de nadie, a ser elástica en las calles, a moverme con desenvoltura sin enredarme ni apresurarme. Los hombres blancos callaron. Los comentarios de los hombres negros de mi barrio se volvieron todos cordiales, como habían sido siempre algunos, e intentaba responder con frases agradables y disfrutaba de las interacciones.

Publiqué textos breves y reseñas y luego artículos más largos y ensayos más ambiciosos. Escribí un libro, seguido de otro más ambicioso y de otro en la misma línea, y después mi historia del caminar, Wanderlust, que salió a la luz en 2000, la primera obra por la que recibí un anticipo que se aproximaba a un salario digno, la primera que gozó de una difusión amplia...

_ Rebecca Solnit, Recuerdos de mi inexistencia, Lumen, 2021. Traducción: Antonia Martín Martín.

_ Helena Almeida, Inhabited Painting, 1976

[cqc-rpg]

Yo estoy de acuerdo con que el rol es un hobby. Pero x ej estar en un equipo de fútbol también es un hobbie, y si vas cuando se te da la gana te van a echar, porque simplemente no tienes el tiempo o compromiso para ese hobbie. Mejor lee un libro, también es un hobbie y ahí no dañas o molestas a nadie, tienes el tiempo que quieras para leerlo y sin presiones. Porque el rol muy hobbie será pero si escribes algo con otra persona le debes atención, nadie te obliga a rolear ni aceptar tramas. Digo, debería ser lógico que si vas a tomar 10 temas es xq tienes tiempo de llevarlos bien. Así mismo una trama seria, si vas a responder 1 vez al mes NO tienes tiempo o compromiso, no importa la razón, vale lo que vemos, xq si nos ponemos a ver cada caso todo mundo tiene sus dramas. Si es algo de 1 vez se avisa, los foros cuentan con apartado de ausencias. Si es todos los meses...no, casi nadie te va a aguantar. Nadie serio, no los que tienen X y rolean para los censos nada más. Con esos si puedes llevar temas que avanzan 1 vez al mes y lo cierran en 1 año. Mejor elijan su público objetivo y así se evitan dramas .

Pero con el ejemplo del fútbol estás yéndote hacia el profesionalismo en el mismo. Claramente si eres parte de un equipo en el que hay campeonatos y esas mierdas te van a sacar si no aportas, pero ¿y si es una pichanga de barrio? para eso solo necesitas las ganas de jugar y ya.

Yo creo que al final del día todo es muy relativo, cada quien sabe como maneja sus tramas. Hay personas a las que no les molesta que un partner tarde un tiempo en responderles un tema, porque sus slow burn son muy slow, pero si a ti como usuario no te acomoda algo así, habla y resuelve.

Ahora, otro punto importante: Si no tienes trama con la persona "ausente" o que rolea poco, ¿Qué chucha te importa?

—Cerebro.

[secretosdeblackthornhall]

Emma a Bruce

Estimado Bruce,

Espero que me perdones si estoy un poco pensativa hoy. No queda nadie aquí en Blackthorn Hall excepto Julian y yo, y hay una especie de tranquila paz en el lugar. Jules está arriba en su estudio y yo estoy sentada en la cama, escribiendo y pensando en los últimos meses.

Algo está terminando, Bruce. Todavía hay muchas cosas que están sin resolver, por supuesto: el peligro para Kit proveniente Faerie y lo que sea que esté pasando con la Cohorte en Idris. Alec tiene algún tipo de contacto mínimo con ellos, pero quién sabe cómo se desarrollará eso. Pero entre todo eso, algo está llegando a su fin para Julian y para mí, y no sé qué vendrá después.

(Bueno, está bien, ¿mucho dramatismo, Emma? Lo sé, solo un poco. Ve más abajo).

Tal vez es solo que los constructores se han ido y me he acostumbrado al sonido de ellos moviéndose a todas horas. Round Tom nos dio un discurso de despedida lírico que (a) se prolongó durante cinco minutos completos, que es un tiempo muy largo para que alguien se despida, y (b) fue muy amistoso y también incluyó la línea: “Emoción y aventuras son sus compañeros cercanos, y yo soy solo un modesto constructor de viviendas, por lo que espero no volver a encontrarme con ninguno de ustedes mientras viva”.

Julian estaba molesto por eso. Señalé que las hadas no pueden mentir, y él señaló que Round Tom no necesitaba mencionarlo en absoluto. Lo cual, fue bastante justo. Julian también señaló que no es que el trabajo habitual de Tom para los miembros de los tribunales esté exactamente libre de drama. Otro buen punto de Jules. Las hadas son los subterráneos más dramáticos. Como, más dramáticos que los vampiros, y pasan todo el tiempo diciendo: "Oh, soy un no-muerto, cómo estoy maldito, déjame aplicar más delineador de ojos".

Oh, bueno, no buscábamos ser amigos cercanos de Round Tom. Hizo un buen trabajo y fue muy cortés sobre lo feliz que estaba de alejarse de esta casa.

Una vez que él y su equipo se fueron, caminamos un poco por los jardines, pero Julian dijo que sentía que tenía todos los detalles de la casa y los jardines tallados en su cerebro, así que dejamos la casa solos por un rato y bajamos a el río.

Hay un pequeño parque al otro lado del Támesis de Chiswick; es una reserva natural llamada Leg O' Mutton Reservoir y tiene un hermoso sendero para caminar alrededor del propio embalse. (Además, ¿no es eso lo más inglés que has escuchado? ¿Por qué gran parte de Londres es tan jodidamente encantador?) Es un poco molesto ya que tenemos que caminar una milla sólida hasta el Puente Barnes solo para llegar a el lado derecho del río, pero era una hermosa tarde cálida y era agradable caminar, Julian y yo paseamos juntos cómodamente, una de mis formas favoritas de ser.

Julian hizo unos sándwiches fríos de pollo y nos los llevamos junto con un poco de limonada (Bruce, es posible que haya desarrollado una peligrosa adicción a la limonada británica. Estoy segura de que hay alguna forma de conseguirla en Los Ángeles, ¿verdad? ¡¿Verdad?!) y nos sentamos en una pequeña manta junto al embalse y vimos a los cormoranes bucear en busca de peces.

Me sentía tranquila y en paz, así que, por supuesto, era el momento perfecto para arruinar eso sacando a relucir un tema difícil. Estaba demasiado relajado para recordar que estaba estresado por eso. Dije algo como, “Es tan hermoso aquí. Pero…” Julian me miró, no preocupado, solo curioso, entonces dije, “No estoy segura de querer vivir a tiempo completo en Londres. Sé que acabamos de gastar todo este tiempo, esfuerzo y dinero en arreglar la mansión de tu familia y todo eso”.

Pensé que Julian estaría enojado o triste, así que no estaba realmente preparado para su reacción real, que describiría como "desconcertado". 

“Nunca pensé que estaríamos aquí a tiempo completo”, dijo, como si la idea nunca se le hubiera ocurrido. “Supuse que dividiríamos nuestro tiempo entre Los Ángeles y aquí. Pero solo si eso era lo que querías”.

No sé por qué dijo eso último, porque seguramente pudo ver que ya no me veía preocupada sino como si estuviera a punto de besarlo. "¿Quieres decir, mitad y mitad?" Yo dije.

Se encogió de hombros con facilidad. “Lo que nos guste. LA cuando hace frío y llueve aquí, Londres cuando hace calor y quema allá”.

Entonces sí lo besé, así que me saltaré los próximos cinco minutos, que seguramente a ti, Bruce, no te interesan. Hubo muchos besos con sabor a limonada y, finalmente, Jules me besó en la oreja (lo que me pone caliente). Chispas chispeantes suben y bajan por mi columna cada vez)

"Dondequiera que estés es donde está mi hogar, lo sabes, ¿verdad?"

Me dijo

“Claro,” dije, porque era algo dulce y romántico para él decirlo. Pero parecía más concentrado.

"No, quiero decir…" Él negó con la cabeza. “No es como si dividiéramos nuestro tiempo entre mi casa aquí en Londres y tu casa allí en Los Ángeles. Yo también tengo una casa en Los Ángeles. Y usted tiene un hogar aquí. Blackthorn Hall pertenece a mi familia y tú, Emma, ​​eres mi familia. Y nosotros —me miró intensamente— siempre estaremos juntos. A menos que eso no sea lo que quieres. Eres la única persona a la que he amado románticamente, Emma. Y quiero pasar el resto de mi vida con eso siendo verdad”.

No tuve que hacer una pausa para pensar en ello. “Yo también”, dije.

Había pensado antes en lo que significaría para nosotros comprometernos, pero parece demasiado pronto para eso. Este tipo de compromiso, estas promesas, se sienten correctas y verdaderas.

Él sonrió ante eso y exhaló, como si hubiera estado un poco nervioso. Luego se puso de pie y extendió una mano para ayudarme a levantarme y dijo: “Volvamos a la casa. Tengo algo que enseñarte."

“Apuesto a que sí,” dije, y usualmente decir algo así, en el tono en que lo dije, es bueno para otros cinco minutos que no detallaré aquí. Pero ya sabes, es Julian, tenía una abeja en el sombrero, y caminamos a casa un poco más rápido de lo que habíamos caminado allí.

Cuando entramos, subió directamente al salón de baile. Sabía lo que estaba pasando, por supuesto, su proyecto secreto en el que ha estado trabajando todo el tiempo que hemos estado aquí. En cierto modo le perdí la pista, con el fantasma y la maldición y todo, y no me había dado cuenta de que había seguido trabajando en eso todo este tiempo. Probablemente temprano en la mañana antes de que nadie más (o el sol) saliera.

Puso una gran cortina delante de él como el idiota que es, e iba a bromear con él por eso, pero luego la bajó y vi todo el mural. Ocupa toda la pared allí arriba, y es simplemente hermoso. Toda la familia allí, todos los Blackthorn. Cada uno de ellos es...

No, eso no está bien.

Porque yo también estoy en el mural. Estoy allí con el resto de la familia, rodeado de ellos. Y cada uno de nosotros está rodeado de flores. Flores blancas para todos los que han fallecido. Incluso Rupert estaba allí, y los padres de Julian, rodeados de pétalos blancos. Y Livvy, encima, envuelta en alas blancas.

Y flores rojas para los que seguimos aquí. Helen, Aline, Mark, Ty, Dru y Tavvy...

Comencé a llorar básicamente de inmediato, ya sabes, el buen tipo de llanto, el llanto de amor y asombro y estar abrumado por el sentimiento. Julian me preguntó:

"¿Te gusta?"

Me gusta. Es tan hermoso y perfecto para este momento, cuando las cosas están terminando y las nuevas aún están por comenzar. Y lo hace sentir como Blackthorn Hall, de verdad: los Blackthorn que conozco, que amo, no los extraños hace cien años que fueron responsables de lo que le sucedió. Me hace sentir como si una gran rueda hubiera girado y ambos estuviéramos al principio y al final de algo nuevo y emocionante. Por primera vez desde que llegué aquí, fui a sentarme en la cama para escribirte y pensé: “Estoy en nuestra habitación en nuestra casa”, y me sentí bien.

Buenas noches Bruce. Voy a ponerte en una estantería después de esto, la que está en mi lado de nuestra cama. Felicitaciones, ahora también eres parte de Blackthorn Hall.

Emma

[lossecretosdeblackthornhall]

Emma a Bruce

Querido Bruce,

Espero que me perdones si hoy estoy un poco nostálgica. Aquí en Blackthorn Hall no queda nadie más que Julian y yo y hay una especie de tranquilidad en todo el lugar. Jules está arriba en su estudio y yo estoy sentado en la cama, escribiendo y pensando en estos últimos meses.

Algo está terminando, Bruce. Hay muchas cosas sin resolver, por supuesto: el peligro que corre Kit en el Mundo de las Hadas y lo que está pasando con la Cohorte en Idris. Alec mantiene un contacto mínimo con ellos, pero quién sabe cómo evolucionará. Pero entre todo eso, algo está llegando a su fin para Julian y para mí, y no sé qué vendrá después.

(Emma, deja ya de ser tan dramática, ¿no? Si que sabes alguna cosa. Sigue leyendo).

Tal vez es sólo que los albañiles se han ido y me he acostumbrado al sonido de su bullicio a todas horas. Round Tom nos dio un lírico discurso de despedida que (a) duró cinco minutos enteros, lo cual es mucho tiempo para que alguien se despeda, y (b) fue a la vez muy amistoso y también incluyó la frase: "La emoción y la aventura son vuestros compañeros íntimos, y yo sólo soy un modesto constructor de viviendas, por lo que espero no volver a encontrarme con ninguno de vosotros mientras viva."

Julian se molestó por eso. Señalé que las hadas no pueden mentir, y él señaló que Round Tom no necesitaba sacar el tema en absoluto. Lo cual es justo. Julian también señaló que no es que el trabajo habitual de Tom para los miembros de la Corte esté precisamente libre de drama. Jules, como siempre, teniendo razón. Las hadas son los habitantes del Inframundo más dramáticos. Más incluso que los vampiros, y se pasan todo el tiempo en plan, "oh, soy un no-muerto, y cómo estoy maldito, déjame ponerme más eyeliner en los ojos".

Tampoco buscábamos ser amigos íntimos de Round Tom. Hizo un buen trabajo, y fue muy educado sobre lo feliz que estaba de salir de esta casa.

Una vez que él y su equipo se fueron, paseamos un poco por los jardines, pero Julian dijo que se sentía como si tuviera cada detalle de la casa y los jardines tallados en su cerebro, así que dejamos la casa sola por un rato y bajamos al río.

Hay un pequeño parque al otro lado del Támesis desde Chiswick; es una reserva natural llamada Leg O' Mutton Reservoir y tiene un precioso sendero alrededor del propio embalse. (Además, ¿no es lo más inglés que has oído nunca? ¿Por qué gran parte de Londres tiene tanto encanto?) Es un poco molesto ya que tenemos que caminar casi dos kilómetros hasta el puente de Barnes sólo para llegar al lado derecho del río. Pero era una tarde cálida encantadora y fue agradable caminar: solo Julian y yo paseando juntos cómodamente. Sin duda, una de mis formas favoritas de estar con él.

Julian hizo unos sándwiches fríos de pollo y nos los llevamos junto con un poco de limonada (Bruce, puede que haya desarrollado una peligrosa adicción a la limonada británica. Seguro que hay alguna forma de conseguirla en Los Ángeles, ¿verdad? ¿verdad?) y nos sentamos en una pequeña manta junto al embalse a observar cómo los cormoranes se zambullían en busca de peces.

Me sentía tranquila y en paz, así que, por supuesto, era el momento perfecto para estropearlo sacando un tema difícil. Estaba demasiado relajada como para acordarme de estresarme por ello. Dije algo así como: 

—Esto es precioso. Pero...—Julian me miró, no preocupado, sólo curioso, así que le dije—: No estoy segura de querer vivir a tiempo completo en Londres. Sé que acabamos de gastar todo este tiempo, esfuerzo y dinero en arreglar la mansión de tu familia y todo eso".

Pensé que Julian se enfadaría, o se entristecería, así que no estaba realmente preparada para su reacción real, que describiría como "desconcertada". 

—Nunca pensé que estaríamos aquí a tiempo completo—dijo, como si nunca se le hubiera ocurrido la idea—. Supuse que dividiríamos nuestro tiempo entre Los Ángeles y aquí. Pero sólo si eso era lo que querías.

No sé por qué dijo esa última parte, porque seguramente pudo ver que yo ya no parecía preocupada sino más bien como si estuviera a punto de besarle. 

—¿Quieres decir mitad y mitad? —le dije.

Se encogió de hombros con facilidad. 

—Lo que nos apetezca. Los Ángeles cuando haga frío y llueva aquí, Londres cuando haga calor allí.

Le besé entonces, así que voy a saltarme los cinco minutos siguientes, que seguramente no te interesan, Bruce. Hubo un montón de besos con sabor a limonada y, finalmente, Jules me besó la oreja (lo que hace que siempre me suban y bajen chispas calientes por la columna vertebral) y dijo: 

—Dondequiera que estés es donde está mi casa, lo sabes, ¿verdad?

—Claro —dije, porque era dulce y romántico que lo dijera. Pero él parecía más decidido.

—No, quiero decir… —Sacudió la cabeza—. No es que vayamos a dividir nuestro tiempo entre mi casa aquí en Londres y tu casa allí en Los Ángeles. Yo también tengo una casa en Los Ángeles. Y tú tienes una casa aquí. Blackthorn Hall pertenece a mi familia y tú, Emma, eres mi familia. Y nosotros —me miró fijamente—, siempre estaremos juntos. A menos que no sea eso lo que quieres. Eres la única persona a la que he amado románticamente, Emma. Y quiero pasar el resto de mi vida siendo eso cierto.

No tuve que pararme a pensarlo. 

—Yo también —dije.

Había pensado antes en lo que significaría para nosotros comprometernos, pero parece demasiado pronto para eso. Este tipo de compromiso, estas promesas, me parecen correctas y verdaderas.

Sonrió y exhaló, como si hubiera estado un poco nervioso. Luego se puso de pie, me tendió una mano para ayudarme a levantarme y dijo: 

—Volvamos a la casa. Hay algo que quiero enseñarte.

—Apuesto a que sí — dije, y normalmente decir algo así, en el tono en que lo dije, da para otros cinco minutos que no voy a detallar aquí. Pero ya sabes, es Julian, tenía algo bajo la manga, y caminamos a casa un poco más rápido de lo que habíamos caminado hasta allí.

Cuando entramos, subió directamente al salón de baile. Yo sabía lo que pasaba, por supuesto, su proyecto secreto en el que ha estado trabajando todo el tiempo que hemos estado aquí. Le había perdido la pista, con lo del fantasma, la maldición y todo eso, y no me había dado cuenta de que había seguido trabajando en él todo este tiempo. Probablemente por la mañana temprano, antes de que nadie (o el sol) se levantara.

Ha puesto una gran cortina delante, como el bobo que es, y yo iba a burlarme de él, pero entonces la descorrió y vi todo el mural. Ocupa toda la pared y es precioso. Toda la familia está allí, todos los Blackthorns. Cada uno de ellos es...

No, eso no está bien.

Porque yo también estoy en el mural. Estoy ahí con el resto de la familia, rodeada de ellos. Y cada uno de nosotros está rodeado de flores. Flores blancas para todos los que han fallecido. Incluso Rupert estaba allí, y los padres de Julian, rodeados de pétalos blancos. Y Livvy, en lo alto, envuelta en alas blancas.

Y flores rojas para los que aún estamos aquí. Helen, y Aline, y Mark y Ty y Dru y Tavvy...

Empecé a llorar al instante, un llanto repleto de amor y asombro y de estar abrumada por el sentimiento. Julian me preguntó: 

—¿Te gusta?

Me gusta. Es tan hermoso y perfecto para este momento, cuando las cosas están terminando y algo nuevo está por comenzar. Y hace que me sienta de verdad como en Blackthorn Hall, con los Blackthorn que conozco, a los que quiero, y no los raros de hace cien años que fueron responsables de lo que le pasó. Me hace sentir como si una gran rueda hubiera girado y estuviéramos al principio y al final de algo nuevo y emocionante. Por primera vez desde que llegué aquí, fui a sentarme en la cama para escribirte y pensé: 

—Estoy en nuestro dormitorio, en nuestra casa —y me sentí bien.

Buenas noches, Bruce. Voy a ponerte en una estantería después de esto, la de al lado de nuestra cama. Felicidades, ahora también formas parte de Blackthorn Hall.

Emma

Texto original de Cassandra Clare ©

Traducción del texto de Niloa Gray ©

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