#natal promise

[catmarlowastrology]

🌟 1st house ruler in 10th house: When your chart ruler lands in the 10th house, you're inclined to carve out your own path in the world. Independence isn't just a preference; it's a necessity for your career success.

[arklay]

RESIDENT EVIL → DR. DIANA WESKER

"This is how a girl becomes holy: first she becomes empty." — Brynne Rebele-Henry, Prelude

[templates × & × — insp — playlist]

[xanzusx]

Psst, hey

Cut pineapple, mango, jicama and onion into small cubes and mix

Add pineapple vinegar, chilli powder, salt and lime juice

Top with shredded fresh cheese

[vulturecadens]

doing natal chart readings for practice again, if you are interested please send me a message ❤

p.s. if you are uncomfortable with giving me your birth information, please go to astro.com and make your own chart there. also, please specify the house type as Whole sign houses. you can ask me about this if you cant get your way around on the site

[kairologia]

Your 12th house gifts and areas you struggle with most, according to your rising sign.

The 12th House is traditionally a desolate, dark, and isolating place. But what insights might you gain, were you to confront and explore that which you've been avoiding? Not unlike how every chart has a “natal promise”, every 12H has positive potential and negative burdens to show for itself. Here, we shall dive into that. Use Whole Sign Houses.

P.S: one configuration cannot explain everything about you as a person with a full-chart and a bunch of unique personal experiences, so if you do not relate to everything, that’s fine. ♥

— Aries Rising with Pisces in the 12H:

· Gift: Aries risings are profoundly intuitive & empathetic and this fact is oft understated. These people tend to be blessed with creativity & plenty of artistic gifts, and are incredibly inspirational to those around them. The teacher that inspires their students so profoundly they remain unforgotten even decades later, the hype man that supports their friend group’s endeavors most — these archetypes are found across the zodiac spectrum, but at an unusually high concentration among Aries risings.

· Struggle: they tend to feel overwhelmed by their unspoken emotions and have a hard time asserting personal boundaries. Aries rising natives tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves, and have a hard time keeping things in. If they *feel* something, they will make it known.

— Taurus Rising with Aries in the 12H:

· Gift: Taurus risings are blessed with incredible resiliency, & can overcome anything if they so desire. They tend to enjoy most & even be skilled at artistic pursuits that revolve around the erotic &/or grotesque. They are rarely put off by things, and are the type of people that can listen to you vent about all sorts of topics, no matter how ‘gross’ or taboo.

· Struggle: ironically, Taurus rising natives tend to simultaneously be very impatient while also being inclined to repressing and internalizing all sorts of emotions, not unlike a dormant volcano, leading to inner and outer conflict. They tend to be hot-headed and struggle letting go of matters they found hurtful.

— Gemini Rising with Taurus in the 12H:

· Gift: These people are incredibly grounded intellectually and it shines through their mental clarity and ability to communicate with precision. Though they may appear scatterbrained to others, their mind palace is incredibly well-compartmentalized. They tend to be great at artistic pursuits that call upon multiple senses at once and provide strong sensorial experiences.

· Struggle: Gemini rising natives tend to overanalyze emotions, which hinders the spontaneity and adaptative quality associated with other Gemini placements. They also tend to repress their desire for relational pleasure and connection, and have a hard time accepting that even they desire to connect with others.

— Cancer Rising with Gemini in the 12H:

· Gift: Cancer risings are capable of understanding the perspective of others with incredible ease, which grants them a versatile penmanship & communication skillset. They tend to excel at communication, writing, teaching, getting things across, as no matter how complex the topic at hand they will manage to break it down to others in a manner that is simple enough to be understood by anyone — in part explaining why they tend to be so great with kids.

· Struggle: Cancer rising natives often have a hard time reconciling rational thought with emotional intuition, leading to indecision — growing up, possibly as a defense mechanism, most Cancer risings tend to pick one end of the emotion vs reason spectrum and sticking to it, leading to unavoidable inner tension in adulthood.

— Leo Rising with Cancer in the 12H:

· Gift: not unlike Aries risings, their intuitive senses & understanding of other people’s hidden emotions are widely underestimated. Their ability to foster deep emotional connections with others & nurture those around them is second to none. They also tend to have the very rich & versatile emotional inner world that is often associated with water moons – in part explaining why they’re known for their creativity & dramatic flair.

· Struggle: Leo risings have a tendency to retreat into isolation upon feeling vulnerable. They tend to repress their feelings from the outside world, and hardly feel comfortable enough to let anyone in. In more extreme cases, there might even be a propensity towards denying certain emotions and repressing them altogether. They have a very polished facade & a strong sense of self, and consequently will hardly appreciate breaking out of character.

— Virgo Rising with Leo in the 12H:

· Gift: Virgo risings are known for telling it like it is — their authentic manner of self-expression and courage to confront anything that gets in their way is their signature brand. Though many Virgo risings tend to prefer blending in and going unnoticed, they’re in actuality extremely creative, and will hardly let other people’s narrative steer them at will.

- Struggle: a Virgo rising’s biggest critic is themselves, and oftentimes they tend to forget that their own desire to be perfect may not be shared by others, as most people value authenticity over perfection — leading to Virgo rising natives feeling rejected by those around them, as their desire to advise and help is inextricably linked to their sense of self. They tend not to realize that said advice is often unwarranted and unsought for, consequently taking everything to heart, which may result in them struggling with self-acceptance and vulnerability.

— Libra Rising with Virgo in the 12H:

· Gift: Libra risings have mastered the art of knowing that multiple things can be true at once, & their analytical minds are loaded with insight into hidden dynamics & truths. They tend to favor a practical approach to resolving emotional conflicts, which makes them seem as though they fear & avoid conflict, when in truth they had already assessed the situation and figured out the best path to returning to center.

· Struggle: Libra risings repress thought & opinion to keep the peace, & consequently feel as though their opinions matter less or not at all to those around them — which, once brought up, might come across as a point of confusion to those around them who generally value their insights immensely. They also tend to overanalyze emotions, be it their own or those of others, and thus struggle with expressing deeper feelings, or believing others to begin with, leading to inner conflict.

— Scorpio Rising with Libra in the 12H:

· Gift: Scorpio risings posess the ability to understand subconscious patterns no matter how convoluted they may be. Even at times where they struggle with understanding themselves, their emotions, desires and behavioural patterns, those of others are hardly a secret to them.

· Struggle: the 12th house is a lesson on balance & compromise for Scorpio risings. Their desire for harmony in inner conflicts is often at odds with their own subjectivity & inclination towards taking extremes in their daily lives, so they tend to struggle immensely with balance. They simultaneously obsess over & repress their hidden desires & preferences, leading to power struggles within the self. They also tend to struggle with forming connections with others, whether it’s due to failed past connections or an inherent fear of commitment or merely an extreme sense of detachment.

— Sagittarius Rising with Scorpio in the 12H:

· Gift: Sagittarius risings are known for their fearlessness and inclination towards spiritual & occult pursuits. A Sagittarius rising is never one to say no to or back down from new experiences, and have a sense of freedom that is defining to their personhood. Everyday is a potential new lesson to these people.

· Struggle: the same sense of freedom may lead to their tendency towards escapism. They tend to struggle with confronting their less superficial, deeper emotions, & may repress their anger a lot in their youth — leading to their being a lot more explosive and thrill-seeking in adulthood. Sagittarius risings are the type to prefer trying anything – even things many would advise against, just to prove a point, whether to themselves or others – as they believe they have no teacher other than life itself.

— Capricorn Rising with Sagittarius in the 12H:

· Gift: Capricorn risings are known for their philosophical perspective & optimistic outlook on challenges, which often translates to an ability to grow wiser at a faster rate than their peers. Their beliefs & values play a crucial role in their selfhood, so they tend to invest a lot of time into spiritual pursuits.

· Struggle: the flip side of their beliefs and values shaping their inner world in a way that is hard to get across to others is that they may be the type to struggle with forming connections with people who do not share the same beliefs & philosophies. They also tend to fear failure more than anything, & struggle to surrender to their own place in the grander scheme of things — these two points are inextricably linked and in order to grow past either, you as a Capricorn rising ought to address both simultaneously.

— Aquarius Rising with Capricorn in the 12H :

· Gift: Incredibly disciplined and persevering in confronting their inner fears. Overtime, they tend to develop a sense of stability and self-mastery that is second to none. While not intuitive in the stereotypical sense, they tend to have inexplicable hunches about things that hardly ever turn out to be incorrect. They tend to live well with & within chaos, sometimes at the expense of their well-being.

· Struggle: they tend to repress emotions and have a strong fear of vulnerability, which hinders their ability to form intimate connections and grow emotionally — they feel as though they have a built-in indestructible wall blocking them out & holding them back from everyone else. They may struggle with becoming responsible, or feel as though they matured too soon. Sometimes, it’s a bit of both.

— Pisces Rising with Aquarius in the 12H:

· Gift: Pisces risings are infinitely more rational than they are believed to be. They have an uncanny approach to understanding subconscious patterns, & tend to reason their way through any situation before reaching a judgement. Very insightful people who tend to be incredibly inquisitive as well, and would prod answers out of anyone if they so desire.

· Struggle: Pisces risings tend to isolate often, whether as a way to recalibrate or just out of preference. Natives of this rising sign, especially those with Air moons, often struggle with detachment and may find it hard to relate to statements implying they are inclined towards emotionality. These people often have or had a “weird kid” reputation ascribed to them by their peers that often stuck well into adulthood.

If you’d like a reading, more details can be found here!

[neptuneschldd]

Difficult Placements in the Natal Chart.❤️‍🩹🖤

small disclaimer; none of these placements listed are depicted as bad or evil placements, these are areas in a chart that require more attention to and tell more about a much more darker/struggling side about the individual.

Sun in 8H/6H/12H. These individuals may take on the heavier parts of life rather than having things come easy to them. These individuals have a possibility of having a distorted self-image, they may not even know exactly who they are and may bc hidden from the spotlight. These individuals are resilient and often work hard in secret, they’re the type that don’t trust anyone and sometimes not even themselves, they can be critical on themselves. Additionally these individuals may have a struggling or complex relationship with father/make figures.

However in maturer years they learn to go with the flow of things, and find peace even in difficult moments.

Along with this, mainly any personal placements within the 8H/12H. These individuals at a young age are shown to the tougher sides of lives, they experience a lot and hold lots of knowledge even at young ages about various things from their own personal experiences. They have a heightened awareness and deeper understanding of the things around them. Wise yet unheard, often very misunderstood individuals. They benefit from expressing their emotions verbally or even through art or their desired professions.

Lilith at 18°. These individuals suppress their shadow side and several traits that make them, them. These individuals are strong beings yet are often underestimated by others because of how much they suppress themselves. These individuals should work more on their inner beings (ie. shadow work) to appreciate the different sides of themselves.

Jupiter 3H. These individuals in early life may lack when it comes to communication skills, they often hold themselves back from their full potential. Once they get out of this they can amass huge amounts of success, they grow when going out of their comfort zones and communicating with others.

Sun/Moon-Pluto Asp. (Esp. conjunction). These individuals are powerful people, seriously. However, they often have complications with their image (Sun) or their emotions (Moon), they can. They tend to have inner turmoil that they usually hide effortlessly, their issues may fluctuate and they’re always experiencing new things every month, they often can’t catch a break.

Sun-Chiron. These individuals have serious issues with their images, often dealing with power struggles in younger years. As they get older they may have felt like they spent an eternity trying to figure themselves out yet still haven’t made any progress (I promise its okay🫂). Once these individuals accept their past experiences and grow their confidence and work on themselves, they’re truly unstoppable.

Chiron in Aquarius/Leo/Gemini or in 11H/3H. These individuals may have struggled in the past or have a common theme in their lives relating to their self expression. May have been force to hide their true selves and conform to societies standards. They may have been treated as the odd “black sheep” or the outcast in groups/family. Misunderstood however as they get older they learn to shine a lot better and it comes almost effortlessly.

Moon-Mars/Mercury Negative aspects. These individuals may struggle with emotions. They may spiral out of control and express things that they don’t actually mean. They often don’t know how to properly express negative feelings and people may see them as too much. They find it hard to put their thoughts into words. They often need to journal out their feelings, even talking to people anonymously may benefit even possibly therapy.

Jupiter/Moon-Neptune negative aspects. These individuals are more likely to highly depend on daydreaming as means of escape. They may even resort or become highly co-dependent on false depictions of love, substances, etc. With these individuals there’s like a huge storm cloud that’s constantly covering up the beauty of a scenery. They may overindulge in materialistic things and are likely to maladaptive daydream or technology. These individuals should spend more time away from material things, or do small activities that keeps their mind stable and working.

Neptune/Pluto in 11H. These individuals constantly are blinded by their surroundings and their enemies tend to hide in plain sight. They’re more likely to fall susceptible to the evil eye, and attract envy a lot from others. They may be delusional when it comes to friendships, and not notice that the people they call their “friends” are actually trying to tear down their energy. These individuals are also likely to absorb a lot of negativity from others and can often feel drained easily from being around people. They benefit from becoming more aware of the people around them, perhaps having a form of protection near them and watch carefully who they let in their vicinity.

Uranus 12H. Similar to an Aquarius Chiron imo, these individuals suppress who they are from others. They have a subconscious fear that often holds them back from expressing their unique side completely. They benefit and notice good change when they be their authentic selves rather than conforming to society because they truly are one-of-a-kind individuals 🖤.

Saturn in the 1H/5H/7H/11H/8H. These individuals often restrict themselves from the pleasures of life, they can’t have fun and often are overly critical of themselves. These individuals are highly reflective people and often have trust issues, they overanalyze people and themselves throughout their lives. These individuals need to learn to let go of the harsh standard they hold themselves and other people to, they can’t change things that are out of their control and should learn to relax and live life, these individuals will find fulfillment when they finally let go.

Virgo Moon. These individuals may have grown being overly criticized, they also may have had a critical mother and often take onto these traits into their adulthood. These individuals are the type to work hard and don’t give themselves any time relax at all, they are genuine people yet most people often misunderstand them as controlling or too serious.

Mars/Mercury in Pisces/12H. These individuals may have a lot of suppressed feelings, they often don’t express how they truly feel and perhaps people around them often made them feel that they shouldn’t show their emotions. These individuals can even be explosive at times, they need to learn to control their emotions.

Saturn Square Venus. These individuals not only struggle in relationships but often struggle with themselves and their self-love, these individuals restrict themselves and often have a closed minded approach when it comes to love, either this or they don’t receive much opportunity to experience it. These individuals are pushed to find love within themselves without the dependency of someone else.

——————————————————-❤️‍🩹

That’s all for now, please comment if there’s any other things that can be added. And if you have any of these placements listed here’s a hug 🫂!

-neptune. ❤️‍🩹

[geminimoonmadness]

Astrology observations

These are my own personal astrological observations. Part 1

🦋Natal Observations:

Capricorn moon toddlers are like mini grown men.

I know I’ve said this before but I want to include it again in this list. Mercury rules Virgo & Gemini, both representing intelligence. Virgo’s intelligence is the brain (introverted) whilst Gemini’s intelligence is the mouth/tongue (extroverted)

If you have your Jupiter conjunct your Saturn you are gifted with a strong will and you’re extra determined to succeed in life.

Aries/Scorpio & 1st house Mars placements may be prone to acne and scars/abrasions on their skin

Having your North node conjunct Chiron may mean you need to forgive someone in this life

Taurus won’t change their mind whilst their co ruler Libra won’t make up their mind

South Node in the 11th House (North Node 5th House) will have friends from past lives join them in this life. They will meet new friends they feel they’ve known forever

Venus, Jupiter and/ or moon in the 5th house are usually quite fertile and likely to have more kids then most. Gemini moon in the 5th house is an indicator of twins.

Pluto conjunct Moon gives someone more deep and intense feelings then most, they sometimes don’t know how to cope and if they don’t have an outlet for their emotions it can turn dark.

People with a Libra Mars 12th house tend to have no backbone and struggle to stand up for themselves

The 9th house can represent your long distance friendships and your travel style

People with a Pisces Mercury are always told to speak up because they’re talking to quiet/softly and feel hella attacked/embarrassed every time they speak up

Scorpio 10th house makes you private in regards to your career. You don’t talk about your home life whilst at work and you don’t talk about work when you’re at home.

Having Scorpio in the 1st house makes you generally a private person whilst having Scorpio in the 12th house may make you an open book/open person.

Fire Mars and Mars in the 1st house placements won’t hesitate to speak up in public, especially to make a complaint of service

Pisces risings may feel like life is going too fast for them to catch up sometimes. They also get random epiphanies.

Mercury in Capricorn are usually skeptics

Taurus & libra risings are the most what’s considered ‘naturally beautiful’

Capricorn Risings (father) and Cancer Risings (mother) are typical parent/guardian energy and naturally act older then they are

Gemini moons love to crack jokes about things that are sad/bringing them down in order to lighten the mood

12th house stellium’s don’t like sharing much about themselves as they’re always misunderstood and don’t feel seen

If you’ve hurt a Scorpio, I can promise you that they want you to suffer.

Pets:

Scorpio dogs will stare at you just like a Scorpio rising will. This is them analysing you.

Capricorn puppies are self reliant and well trained even without being trained.

Cancer animals will be friends with everyone, all other animals & humans.

Aquarius pets will have a unique character and not always act as expected. For example, an Aquarius pitbull I knew would act like a cat, he’d try to sit in your lap and walk along the back of the couch like a cat even though he was trained as an emotional support dog.

✨✨✨

I really enjoyed making this! Let me know in the comments if you have any of these placements or know someone who does and if they resonate with you! Any feedback and further insight is always welcome. What do you want to see me post next?

Copyrights reserved © geminimoonmadness

[imnotevenusin]

Some of My Favorite Aspects to see in a Natal Chart

Saturn trine/sextile Pluto : Saturn takes out unnecessary things/people in our lives, while Pluto shows us what has power over us, what gives us power, and control. Usually, this aspect indicates somebody who wants to “bring something to the table” to society; Saturn is serious, and practical, while Pluto is impactful and influential. They take huge responsibilities and never try to abuse their power (unless there are other aspects ofc). A great leadership aspect overall.

Jupiter trine/sextile Neptune (I have this one) : Jupiter is expansion and abundance, and Neptune is limitless, perceptive, imaginative, and artistic. Jupiter expands the Neptunian energy, making a person ego-less, empathetic, charitable, artistic, and a visionary.

Two notable Figures with this aspect(/) include : Martin Luther King Jr. & Kurt Cobain

Mercury sextile/trine/or even conjunct Saturn : Mercury is our communication and problem-solving style and Saturn correlates to discipline. I think this is a powerful aspect, since it indicates a person that doesn’t get distracted, only speaks when needed, and takes on mentally serious and challenging tasks—and they usually follow through.

Moon sextile/trine Saturn : The Moon is our emotional state, how we feel comfortable, and our habits, and when it comes in good contact with Saturn, we get a person thats very responsible and in-control of their emotions—which can make you successful in the long run.

Sun conjunct Venus : Wow, how lucky. The Sun is what we like to revolve our personalities around, our ego, and what we shine a light on through expression, whilst Venus is our charming attributes, tactfulness, and what we are attracted too. This aspect indicates a charming and likable person.

Jupiter sextile/trine Saturn : Jupiter being supported by Saturn is promising to say the least; Jupiter is like hope and Saturn brings that hope into reality, through patience and dedication. It can also indicate a structured life, with never too much un-healthy indulgence (Jupiter) or too much delay or feeling like somethings lacking (Saturn).

North Node trine/sextile Neptune (I have this) : The North Node denotes a part of our lives we have to learn to adapt and Neptune can be imaginative and hopeful. Usually, people with this aspect can utilize Neptunian energy/characteristics to reach their life path; this aspect basically says “follow your dreams”.

Sun trine/sextile Pluto : Generally indicates a strong and invincible ego, that deals with change and losses quite a bit. I know Dave Grohl has this placement, and he’s gone through many changes—from being the “awkward” drummer of Nirvana, to being the frontman of the Foo Fighters.

Mercury sextile/trine Mars : Your communication style is supported by the strong, defensive Mars; your words and messages pack a punch, and you aren’t afraid to speak up for yourself.

Neptune sextile/trine Pluto : The ultimate visionary aspect. Our imaginations and creations give us power, and sometimes influence. This can also be a great aspect for manifestation—look at Michael Jackson, who infamously had a manifestation journal that helped him carve out his public image in the 80s.

[saturnznct]

he holds the baby for the first time | nct dream

➸ note; hehe bit of a long one bc i love my dreamies <3

➸ word count; 4313 words

➸ lucas, tengfei, moonbyeol, dalgun, chaeyeon, caihong & chunae; aged newborn

➸ warning(s); breastfeeding? labour, c-sections, stitches, injection mention, blood mention

nct masterlist (lnks will be added later)

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯ ⋆✦⋆ ⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

mark

Mark’s entire world had been turned upside down in a matter of a few hours. Just four hours ago, he was working hard at dance practice, and now he was a father. He felt so many things, shock being the most prominent, shared with complete awe and love for you and your new son. The fact that he hadn’t held your newborn yet hadn’t even crossed his mind, he was far more concerned with both of your health and wellbeing, considering you’d had no pre-natal care. The hours dragged on, the amount of nurses and doctors coming in finally beginning to thin out. Your son had been laying on your chest for quite some time, having eaten and been burped already. You were so exhausted, a mixture of the birth and the late hour, but Mark was still wide awake, mind racing. However, managers and staff keep disappearing and reappearing, talking to Mark and whoever was on the phone in rapid speech. Mark could see the way it was affecting you, the way you move to almost protect your baby from the outsiders.  

‘You should get some sleep,’ he murmurs, noticing your eyes dropping closed and then opening again.

‘I can’t look away from him,’ you admit, ‘he’s so perfect.’

‘I know, baby, but you need to rest,’ Mark reaches out a hand and brushes your hair from your face, ‘besides, I haven’t held him yet.’

Your eyes widen a little, ‘oh, of course not, I’m sorry.’

Mark chuckles, ‘it’s okay, it’s important he gets to know his mama. I’ll keep an eye on him while you nap, okay? I’ll wake you if he needs anything.’

‘Okay,’ you sit up slightly. The handover is awkward, it being the first time you’d done it, but eventually Mark has the tiny baby in his arms, kissing your forehead before murmuring a ‘goodnight, I love you,’ and settling into the armchair beside your bed.

‘Love you. Please keep him here,’ you mumble, turning onto your side and closing your eyes.

‘I will, don’t worry sweetheart.’

Mark is quiet for a few minutes, gently yet stiffly rocking the baby back and forth, examining his face and all the details. The baby looked so much like him, and he knew it, feeling an enormous sense of pride at the boy’s identical nose and eyes, that he’d seen in baby photos of his own over the years. Once he’s sure you’re asleep, he begins to talk to his son, wishing the infant to get used to his voice.

‘Hey, baby boy,’ Mark begins, lightly shushing the baby when he fusses, ‘it’s okay, everything is just fine.’

You were just on the verge of falling asleep when you hear Mark’s voice, heart warming at the sound of the love of your life talking to your firstborn.

‘I didn’t even know you existed a few hours ago, but God, I love you. More than anything. You’re so perfect, such a beautiful baby, all from your mama. She did so well, didn’t she? Carried you for all that time… I promise I’ll be here for you, always. Everything I do from now on is for you and your mummy/mommy.’

You still lay awake, eyes filled with hot tears at the pure love that overcomes you. 

Mark is silent for a few moments, staring back into his son’s deep brown eyes, ‘I promise I won’t let you down. I love you, son.’

renjun

This was the moment Renjun had been anticipating since the moment you found out you were pregnant. He’d been terrified at the time, the pregnancy was unexpected and Renjun wasn’t sure he was ready or capable of being a father. At the same time, Renjun’s thoughts were filled with questions and worries about your baby. What would the baby look like? How big would the baby be? Would they come during the day or the night? But his biggest fear of all, was that your baby wouldn’t like him. He didn’t have the best luck with other member’s babies; generally they would cry and protest in his arms. He tried to prevent this, doing any and every bonding exercise with your bump that he could think or read about, hoping that when your son arrived he would feel comfortable and safe with him.

‘Jun?’ You’d been holding the baby for over an hour, having some skin to skin and your first feed. Renjun froze a little at the expectant look on your face, like he knew what you were about to ask.

‘You should hold him.’

Renjun blinks, ‘are you sure? you’re bonding with hi-‘

‘Jun,’ you repeat, softly, ‘he’s your son. He’s not going to hate you. Besides, I want to see my boys together.’

‘Okay,’ Renjun reaches down for the baby on your chest, cringing when the baby whines and fusses, ‘hey, don’t cry, please don’t cry.’

Renjun rocks and bounces him awkwardly but to no avail, and he sends you a look screaming for help.

‘It’s ok, Jun,’ you smile, ‘keep talking to him.’

‘He doesn’t like me,’ Renjun begins to panic, ‘he was happy with you, maybe you should-‘

‘Junie,’ you retort softly, ‘he just doesn’t like that he’s been moved. Keep talking to him, he’ll know your voice.’

Renjun gives himself a mental pep talk, slightly relaxing when he looks at the face of his baby boy.

‘It’s okay, it’s just me, I’m your daddy.’

You give Renjun an encouraging smile, and so he continues, ‘I really hope you like me from now on. Most babies don’t.’

The baby is gradually calming down at his father’s voice, so Renjun keeps talking.

‘Good boy, do you know my voice? I tried to talk to you as much as possible while you were in there so I hope you recognise it.’

The baby is now settled, staring up at his father with big brown eyes. Your heart melts at Renjun’s wide, toothy grin.

‘He likes me,’ he says to you, before turning back to the baby, ‘I think you look like a Tengfei.’

‘I like that name,’ you hum, ‘Huang Tengfei it is.’

Renjun’s smile gets impossibly wider, pride filling his chest knowing he’d just named his firstborn baby boy.

‘I love you so much, Huang Tengfei.’

jeno

You had never felt so at peace. You had just given birth to your first child, a daughter Moonbyeol in your bedroom at home a few hours earlier. Already, Moonbyeol was a very chilled baby, rarely fussing or crying. She was perfectly happy just laying on your chest, staring back at you. Jeno had been laying beside you for several hours now, engaging in hushed conversation with you about your newborn, all while unable to take his eyes off her. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that he hadn’t properly held his daughter, as you’d been snuggled together so close. As time passed, you grew more and more exhausted, the energy you had spent during the birth beginning to weigh you down. 

‘How long has it been since she fed?’ you wonder aloud, ‘the midwife said every three hours..’

‘I think it was at six,’ Jeno says, ’so three and a bit hours ago.’

‘She needs more,’ you mumble, sighing deeply, already pulling your top down to give Moonbyeol access. Jeno helps you guide her head to your chest.

‘Agh,’ the pain is sharp when she latches, and Jeno kisses and rubs your hair in encouragement.

‘You’re doing so well, look at how well she eats.’

‘It hurts so much Jen,’ Jeno’s heart hurts at the look on your face.

‘I know, I know,’ Jeno frowns, ‘it’ll get better, with time.’

‘I hope so,’ you say, ‘I feel sore all over.’

‘You’ve been so incredible,’ Jeno praises, ‘we did so well with her.’

‘Yeah, we did,’ you grin, the and the two of you settle into small talk while Moonbyeol eats. After some time, she pulls away, ready to be burped.

‘I don’t want to move,’ you admit, ‘too tired.’

‘Hey, I’ll take her,’ Jeno offers, ‘you can stay in bed. Plus, I.. I haven’t got to hold her yet.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry.’

‘It’s okay, don’t be silly,’ Jeno presses a kiss to your cheek, ‘I’ve been so close this whole time. You should get some rest.’

You suddenly realise how drained and exhausted you truly were, eyes and body heavy with fatigue.

‘I think I probably should,’ you mumble tiredly, ‘Moonie, daddy’s going to get all that horrible air up for you.’

It takes perhaps a little longer than it should have, but eventually the baby is successfully passed into Jeno’s arms.

‘Hey, Moonie,’ Jeno rests her on his shoulder, gently patting her back, ‘you’re so tiny.’

You move to lay down on your side and rest your eyes as Jeno talks to your daughter in a hushed voice.

‘You’re so beautiful,’ Jeno meets his daughters eyes, seeing his own staring back at him, ‘look at those brown eyes! So pretty. No boy will ever be good enough for such a beautiful girl.’

Jeno slowly wanders out of your room and into Moonbyeol’s nursery, wanting to give you some peace to sleep.

‘This is your room,’ Jeno turns the baby in his arms so that she’s facing the majority of the room, ‘this is where you’ll sleep, where you’ll play… I hope you like the way we decorated. If you don’t, we can change it later.’

Moonbyeol’s eyes flicker around the room, although her expression is blank.

‘Look, Moonie,’ he walks towards her unused crib, looking at the silver mobile that hangs over it, white and yellow moon and stars hanging down, ‘it’s like you! You’re our little moon star.’

Moonbyeol burps at that exact moment, and Jeno chuckles, not sure whether he should be offended or not.

‘Well, that says what you think of that.’

haechan

Donghyuck naturally comes across as a conceited and cocky person, you know that’s just his humour. He’s cheeky and bold, but at the same time down to earth and a total sweetheart. He acted quite similarly when it came to his impending fatherhood, on the outside appearing as though he was completely confident, that he would take being a father in his stride. But on the inside, he was terrified. Sometimes he would catch sight of you, his pregnant wife, and would feel a deep sense of dread alongside the rush of love that would bubble up in his chest. When you went into labour while eating dinner together, he thought he was going to be sick, the crashing realisation that this was it. You’d done so well, going through hours of contractions before your son began to struggle, and you were taken into an emergency c-section. You were crying softly as they prepared you for the surgery. Donghyuck emerged from the bathroom in his scrubs to see you laying there, and you immediately you’d reached out for him. In that moment, he knew how much you needed him, how much both of you needed him. In that moment he knew he’d do anything to be the best father and husband.

Your son Dalgun was eventually delivered through the C-section, laying on your chest for quite some time as you were stitched up and wheeled back to your hospital room. Donghyuck hates the look of discomfort on your face as you try to move around on the bed and feed. You’re exhausted, in pain and in need of a good rest, but you had to stay awake for your son.

Donghyuck tries to make himself useful, keeping the hospital room tidy and making sure your water cup was filled and you hadn’t bled too heavily onto the pad beneath you.

Part of him aches to hold his baby boy. He so desperately wants to just reach out and take the baby into his arms, shower him in all of the love he had to give. But at the same time, he didn’t want to. He was frightened that his son would be unsettled with him, that he would do something astronomically wrong like drop him. After some time, the nurse knocks softly on the door, coming to check on your surgery site.

‘Donghyuck,’ you croak, his heart hurting when he sees you laying there, exhausted and in pain with your son on your chest, ‘will you take him?’

‘I-‘ 

‘Hyuck,’ you notice the way he freezes, but he melts and relaxes at your tone, ‘its okay. You’re his daddy. You did so well at the classes.’

Donghyuck shakes himself. You’re vulnerable, you’ve just had invasive surgery and you need him. And he’s terrified of holding his own baby.

‘Okay.’

The nurse helps with the handover as it pains you to lean too far, and suddenly there’s a seven pound baby wriggling around in his arms. Dalgun cries shrilly at being moved, Donghyuck cringing as he wails.

‘Dalgun-ah,’ he clumsily rocks the baby, ‘won’t you be a good boy while mummy/mommy gets looked after? I’m not a stranger, I’m your daddy.’

Donghyuck sways on his feet, soothing Dalgun, ‘your mummy/mommy is so so brave. She is so incredible, Dalgun-ah, she’ll be the best mummy/mommy in the whole world to you, I just know it. And I’ll try my absolute hardest to be the best daddy. I love you.’

jaemin

Jaemin thinks that his daughter’s birth was nothing short of perfect. You had given birth to Chaeyeon in a birthing centre, early in the morning in a birthing pool.

Jaemin had sat right behind you, in his swim shorts, with you between his legs, not even wincing when you near crushed his hands while you pushed. Jaemin had been the one to cut the cord, before the baby was taken away to be weighed and given her first injection.

Jaemin had felt new foreign feeling of resentment towards the nurse, who he knows deep down is just doing her job and ultimately protecting your daughter from disease, but at the same time, she made his baby girl cry.

Chaeyeon is bought back to you, now with a band-aid covering her injection site. Jaemin holds you in his arms, resting his chin on your shoulder and just soaking in your daughters face. For some time, the two of you get used to Chaeyeon, taking in her appearance and mannerisms and sounds. Jaemin doesn’t even really care how dirty the water is.

‘Y/N? Why don’t we get you cleaned up a little?’ the nurse suggests, and you’re more than happy to be helped out of the pool and herded into the shower in the conjoining bathroom. Another nurse had held Chaeyeon as Jaemin carried you bridal style into the bathroom and gently setting you down on the shower seat. He hangs around for a few minutes, eyes darting between you and Chaeyeon’s general direction, clearly conflicted as to who to stay with.

‘Go and be with her Jaem,’ you hum.

’Do you need me?’

‘I’m all good here,’ you answer honestly, ‘I think this may be quite gross, anyway.’

‘Okay,’ Jaemin leans over to kiss your cheek, ‘I’ll look after her.’

‘Oh!’ The nurse left in the delivery room is holding the little bundle in her arms, ‘lets go to daddy, shall we?’

Jaemin beams as his baby girl is handed to him for the very first time. His heart feels like it may burst out of his chest as she gurgles, tiny fists waving around above the pink blankets.

‘Oh, angel,’ Jaemin coos, ‘you’re killing me.’

Jaemin knew that this baby in his arms officially completely owned his heart. He knew it was over for him, that there was nothing he would not do for his little girl.

‘You’re such a pretty girl, Chaeyeon,’ his heart aches at her glistening eyes and nose that mirrors his own.

‘You’ll have so much love in your life. You already do. You have so many uncles who are just dying to meet you, you have a godfather who would do anything for you. I.. I would die for you, I love you more than anything in this world.’

Chaeyeon waves her arm around, peeling back the blanket slightly.

‘Oh, you don’t have any clothes on,’ Jaemin brings her over to the changing table, lowering her down as slowly as he possibly can.

‘Which should be your first ever outfit?’ Jaemin sifts through the folded up baby-grows in the small suitcase you’d brought along. He picks out a white one, patterned with little brown teddy bears.

‘Uncle Mark bought you this one,’ Jaemin buttons up the onesie, ‘like I told you, everyone loves you Chae. But not as much as I do!’

Jaemin nuzzles their noses together, before cradling Chaeyeon in his chest, pressing a kiss on top of her head.

‘I love you, angel. I’ll be here for you always.’

chenle

Chenle was the best partner throughout your entire pregnancy. He did absolutely everything for you and your baby’s comfort, fulfilling your every need and wish, whether monetary, physical or emotional. 

It seemed everything had to be perfect, the quality of your care, your baby’s nursery, your birth plans, everything. If you showed any slight indication of discomfort at any point in your pregnancy, Chenle was instantly at your side, going out of his way to somehow alleviate your pain. He was almost jumpy in that sense.

He was strangely calmer than you thought he would be when you went into labour. You had been taken to the hospital where Chenle and his family had naturally made sure you would receive the best treatment, with a spacious private room and a dedicated team of familiar doctors and nurses. You laboured for hours on end. For nearly twenty hours, you’d suffered through some of the most immense pain imaginable, completely supported by Chenle who fusses over you and holds your hand through it all. Frustratingly, you had been dilating excruciatingly slowly, and eventually the doctors decide a c-section would be best for both you and your baby. 

Your beautiful baby girl joined you in the early evening. Chenle was so overcome with love for his daughter. You both knew that she would be his little princess, that he would spoil her rotten and that nobody would ever lay a hand on her. He came up with the name Caihong, meaning rainbow. She was the rainbow that brightened up his life.

When Caihong came out, they had taken her away briefly to be weighed and checked over, before returning her to you.

‘You did so so well,’ Chenle stands as close to you as he can get, still in his scrubs as they stitch you back up, ’she’s beautiful. I can’t believe it.’

‘I’m so tired,’ you laugh, having been awake for the entirety of your labour, ‘she’s ruined me.’

Chenle chuckles, ‘they’re going to wheel you back into the room once they’re done. We’ll turn the lights down. You can nap soon.’

‘M’kay,’ you roll your head back down to look at your baby, ‘she’s perfect.’

’She is,’ Chenle nods, leaning down and pressing kisses into your hair, ‘I love you both so much.’

The first hour with your daughter is so precious. You are taken back to your private room in your bed, Caihong resting on your chest the whole time. You’d done your first feed, burping her while sitting up in your bed. Once you’d finished, the nurses left, and the three of you were alone together for the first time.

‘Are you tired?’ Chenle asks, running a hand through your hair, fussing over you.

‘I’m exhausted,’ you murmur, ‘never been so tired.’

‘Why don’t I take her?’ he suggests, ‘you can lay down and have a nap.’

‘Are you sure?’ the offer is so unbelievably tempting, ‘I don’t want to just leave you on your own.’

‘I’ll be just fine,’ Chenle reassures you, ‘you just fed her. I can change her myself, if she needs you I’ll wake you.’

‘Okay,’ you nod, moving your arms so that Chenle can easily take Caihong from you.

He grunts dramatically as he raises her up, as though he was lifting some massive weight, ‘hi baby girl.’

Chenle holds Caihong in one arm as he helps you lay down comfortably, reclining your bed back down with the remote so you were laying down.

‘Comfortable?’ Chenle checks, rubbing your upper arm with his spare hand.

‘Yes,’ your eyes are already closed, ‘love you, Lele.’

Chenle grins, ‘I love you too.’

As you fall asleep, Chenle slowly does a few laps of the hospital room, rocking Caihong in his arms. Once he’s sure you’re mostly asleep, and that talking won’t disturb you, he speaks to Caihong in a hushed voice.

‘Hi my little angel,’ he stares into her shining brown eyes, absolutely entranced by her, ‘we’ve waited for so long for you. Ever since your uncle had your cousins, I’ve wanted a baby of my own. And now you’re finally here. You’re already so loved, Caihong. I’ll do anything for you.’

Caihong looks at him almost as if she’s listening and understands what he’s saying. Chenle’s heart seizes and threatens to break out of his chest, he loves her so much. 

‘You own my heart, Caihong. Daddy loves you so much.’

jisung

Jisung was the first to hold his baby girl, and although it wasn’t for long, it was a fact he took great pride in. Jisung had completely frozen up when your midwife had asked him if he wanted to deliver the baby. His mouth had dried up, completely unsure of what to say, until he caught your gaze, face slightly screwed up in discomfort, but still encouraging him to say yes. He had taken the midwife’s offer, and under her guidance, caught your baby girl as she came out. Jisung had worried that he would drop her, due to the baby being covered in blood and various bodily fluids, but thankfully he manages to keep her in his grip, holding her up for a few moments before placing her on your chest.

Jisung didn’t get her back for another hour or so, not that he minded. You handled your first hour of motherhood expertly, Chunae was an extremely calm baby who fed easily. She was so intrigued by the both of you, as you both were with her, her brown eyes studying your faces. Jisung had never felt so many overpowering emotions at once. Firstly the feeling of pride that he’d been the one to bring Chunae into the world, and the fact he had a part in creating what he believed to be the most beautiful baby in the whole world. And of course, he felt such an overwhelming and intense love for both you and your baby, after watching you go through hours and hours of labour and delivery in his family home. You had been giving skin to skin for over an hour before you offered the baby to Jisung.

‘Hey, Jisungie,’ he is immediately by your side.

‘Do you need something? Water? Another pillow? The pad changed? Are you in a lot of pain?’

You smile at how flustered and caring he is, shaking your head, ‘no, I’m alright. I just thought you might want to hold her.’

Jisung softens, heart suddenly hammering in his chest, ‘oh, y-yeah. Yeah, of course I’d love to.’

Jisung leans down and gently picks Chunae from your chest, taking a few moments to get her into a good position.

‘Hi baby girl,’ he murmurs, strangely nervous, as though it was somebody else’s child.

‘Ah, good timing,’ Jisung’s mother suddenly enters the room, ‘I made soup for you Y/N.’

‘Oh, amazing, I’m starving,’ you welcome the bowl of hot soup with both hands.

Jisung wanders the room, rocking the slightly gurgling Chunae in his arms as he approaches the bedroom window. He doesn’t really notice you watching him, his thoughts all consumed by Chunae. His mother even points it out, catching your eyes and nodding towards him. 

‘Hi,’ Jisung shakily removes a hand from underneath her to play with her own tiny hand, melting when she curls her hand around his finger.

‘You’re so small,’ he whispered, ‘like a doll. And so well behaved too, you didn’t cry one bit when I picked you up.’

Chunae just looks back up at him, and Jisung gently wipes at the spit collecting at her mouth with a cloth.

‘I promise I’ll look after you angel,’ he nuzzles his nose against hers, ‘no one will ever hurt you. They’ll have to go through me first.’

Jisung suddenly can’t get the image of his baby girl as a teenager out of his head, his getting her heart broken by some worthless teenage boy. He imagines comforting her, giving her encouraging talks and building her confidence back up, utilising the skills he would have learned as a father to his little girl over the years. But for now, he knows nothing, only what he has read in pregnancy and parenting books.

‘I don’t know much,’ Jisung rubs his thumb up and down on her face, ‘but I promise I’ll be the best father I can possibly be for you. I’ll try so hard to do everything that’s right for you. I already love you more than anything in this world.’

Chunae yawns, tiny fists flailing weakly as she does.

‘Am I boring you?’ Jisung chuckles, ’you can’t be tired, not when I’ve just got you.’

‘You should sit down with her,’ you suggest, taking a short break from your soup, ’she’ll fall asleep on you.’

‘I think I may fall asleep also,’ Jisung chuckles, although settling into the armchair near your bed. 

‘Group nap?’ You suggest, your own eyes feeling heavy.

The group nap very quickly ends in Jisung’s mother removing the sleeping Chunae from a sleeping Jisung’s chest to lay in her crib. 

[8hsaturn]

-- my astrology observations pt.1

Aquarius risings with Neptune on the ascendant can be extremely popular for their appearance amongst their peers, they’re also pretty influential and can be copied very often if Uranus is conjunct the ASC. They tend to have an immaculate fashion sense especially if paired with Taurus placements.

What separates Libra from Taurus is their way of expressing Venusian energy: Taurus, fixed earth, expresses it through a beautiful voice and coveted seduction, they’re down to earth and aware that they’re naturally attractive, acting chill and not being a try-hard is their trick. libra, cardinal air, on the other hand, isn’t scared to shake things up and keep people on their toes, they’d flirt to see how well their charm works and would change “tactics” to hook people in. they’re cardinal and so know how to spark someone’s interest but their air nature can make them pull away before they feel trapped. Taurus alternatively might prefer to simply sit because they know they attract people without moving a finger. Both can be very charming but also difficult to pin down especially as they grow older and more in tune with their Venusian nature.

As someone who always does readings for my friends, I noticed people with similar majors tend to have similar placements! law/political science majors tend to have a lot of Libra or just Libra on the angles and even 7th-house placements. IT/coding majors tend to have a lot of Scorpio/Virgo/Aquarius. actually, you can even guess why they chose the major from their chart.

My Capricorn friend chose software engineering because of the job prospects and because he enjoys working hard on a program and seeing it come to fruition which is very Saturnian.

8th house synastry is a complex matter but I believe the issue lies in people looking for that one overlay that guarantees a perfect relationship: there’s no such a thing. each overlay will have different results depending on both people’s charts and how they use or abuse their own placements. 5h synastry with your 5h stellium crush can seem incredible until you realize their Saturnian nature makes them see 5h energy as inherently immature and repress that nature, and have their ego drive them to see all fun they don’t initiate as cringey. 7h synastry can seem like a promise for marriage until you realize your person hates how they lose themselves in their relationships and distance away from you. In short, you can’t promise anything even with a synastry chart in front of you if you don’t know the trauma and experiences of both people. Makes sense, because astrology is truly just a tool to understand better, it doesn’t control or define anything.

8th house moon synastry can make the moon person very attuned to the other person’s feelings and want to know how their deepest emotions. Bad intentions can make the moon person use their knowledge to manipulate the house native though. it can be an aspect for understanding but if the house person has a Scorpio or Saturnian moon, or a natal 12h/4h/8h moon, or moon aspecting Saturn they might see this desire as annoying and could put them off, especially if they’re emotionally unavailable/stunted: they see the connection as making them too vulnerable and will escape it.

Sun conjunct Saturn… might make the sun person feel as if the Saturn person is repressing them, dulling their light, and just dampening their mood. In what exactly? that depends on the sun sign and house where the conjunction happens. e.g: if the sun conjuncts Saturn in Gemini in the 9h: sun person might feel that Saturn isn’t as enthusiastic or excited about the things that they’re passionate about or doesn’t understand their jokes or interests, shuts down convos or doesn’t let them talk. They might feel mocked for their beliefs or that the Saturn person doesn't take their philosophies and deeper concerns seriously.

I disagree with the notion that certain placements indicate intelligence or otherwise lack of. Intelligence is so complex and difficult to define, and I don’t mean eq vs iq or mathematical vs linguistic Intelligence, I mean that people’s experiences can push them to hone certain intellect over the other: having a libra stellium doesn’t mean all you got is street smarts, but that’s what you found yourself focusing on developing due to the cards you were dealt in life. I believe your chart will indicate which skills and intelligence you had to use, or need to use, be it something you have to learn from scratch or an instinctive talent, rather than natural skills.

that’s all, thank you for reading this far <3

[catmarlowastrology]

🦂 Scorpios are protective and cautious because they are so sensitive on the inside. This can make them seem mysterious and hard to get to know. But once you understand their need for emotional safety, their behavior makes a lot more sense. Scorpios are not the terrifying beasts they're made out to be; they're just people who are very careful about protecting their hearts.

[astrobiscuits]

Astro observations part 8

[LONG EDITION] - taken from my phone's notes (also, i was too lazy to edit it so here's a nice chunk of info)

🍂 Sun conjunct Saturn individuals inherit mindsets from the father, grandparents or great-grandparents. They might never fully act like their Sun sign (aka "shine"), since they've been conditioned from a young age to listen to parents, teachers, and later on bosses. They are the type to never divorce, no matter how toxic their marriage is. If these peeps deal well with their Saturn Return, they might become "THE BOSS" (aka the person everyone looks up to due to how accomplished, disciplined and rich they are, they've literally got their shit together and deserve a round of applause, "it wasn't easy to get to the top, but it was worth it" - you might hear them say this). They are also more prone to ingrain stoic principles in their lifestyle

🍂 Mars square Neptune gives off major cult leader vibes. They're the type to fool you with false promises until you sign up for their "camp" but then you realize it's actually an evil cult where all they wanna do is put you to work (and maybe later even kill you lol). These individuals become very scary when angry (you don't wanna see them angry, trust me). If they ever commit suicide, it'll be by drowning, alcohol or drugs

🍂 Mars trine Neptune is one of the best aspects for those who make a living off their talents. The talent depends on the element the trine is in:

If it's in Earth signs - ideal for those who work in the "money handling sector" in advertising, becoming an entrepeneur, holistic care (if Virgo is involved), cooks, those who work in interior design, seamstresses, embroidery/lace makers, models, event planners If it's in Air signs - ideal for those who work in sales (their negotiation skills are ✨chef's kiss👌🏻✨), becoming a spiritual/religious teacher or an art/music/any other creative pursuit teacher (lmao, i can't even speak💀💀), writers, musicians, magicians and astrologers (for the last two - if Aquarius is involved) If it's in Fire signs - ideal for dancers, theater/movie actors, hairstylists, circus performers, photographers (only if Leo is involved) If it's in Water signs - ideal for make-up artists, painters, tarot readers

🍂 Moon sextile Uranus individuals have got the ability to create a positive parasocial relationship with their followers. Since these people often use their devices to validate their emotions, i wouldn't be surprised if most of y'all also have atleast one active profile where you post quite frequently

PRO TIP: Whenever Transit Jupiter is trining/conjuncting your Natal Uranus (to a less extent also the sextile), you'll get a sudden boost in your followers count

🍂 This is a theory of mine that i've come up with and i'd love to hear your thoughts on it. When it comes to intergenerational astrology, i do believe that we inherit all of our personal planets placements from our parents and ancestors. But then you might say "But i don't act like my mother at all! This is bullshit!". I'm not saying we're all carbon copies of our family members. What makes us unique and distinguishes us from our parents and grandparents (or even great-grandparents) are the way the planets aspect each other in our birth charts and the planetary configurations between them. Basically we start from the same ground, but we all use our traits differently, whether for the better or the worst expression of them. Let's not forget that we also tend to go through different life experiences than our parents and grandparents; we might be blessed with different opportunities that might enhance our best traits and help us achieve what our ancestors always wanted to but weren't able to

Hope you enjoyed today's post, loves!💗💗💗 I've been wanting to post for a while now but my inspiration has been wandering alone in the Sahara Desert I can't promise that i'll start posting again more frequently (the new uni year is starting soon for me + i enrolled in a local astrology school 2 weeks ago🥳🥳 ya girl can't wait to officially become an astrologer) but my inbox will be open again for further questions! I must also thank you for helping me hit 500 followers!!! I'm probably gonna do another ask game once i hit 600 followers, as i'm too busy right now. As always, don't forget to drink water and take care of yourselves! Hope to see you soon! ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

[atmymercy]

all selections are open to extra cards and longer responses. i accept tumblr tip, kofi, paypal, gpay & applepay. if you are looking for something particular, feel free to message me and we can discuss it!

all questions include a clarifying question afterward except for {minis}! clarification questions need to be used within 48 hours! i won’t leave you high and dry after your reading! i get that sometimes you might want to get a little extra detail or understanding of some detail and i’ll be right here! this clarifying question must be related to your initial question or it becomes a double question! lol

in-depth option means you get a longer reading (the single question is 2-3 paragraphs & in-depth single is 3-5 paragraphs or more!) and numerology information directed toward your question! let’s get real in-depth here and even inspect the small details! lol

extensive option is at least a page-long reading. a question can be included!

minis are one-line readings. only the {mini reading & song vibe} going up to 5 lines.

add-ons are for adding to your existing reading! to make the reading you choose extra special or personalized to you!

.

tea tarot feedback && past free tea tarot readings to give you a taste before you book with me!🧡

crush tea - oh my! somebody has a crush. tell me more! tell me more! in this cup, we will explore how they currently feel about you and what guidance spirit has for you to feel/be closer to them!

spirit tea - interested in getting more in touch with your spirituality and spirit guides? let’s see what your spirit guides have to say and what guidance they wish to share with you!

journey tea - are you feeling a bit lost in your true potential? let me pour you a special cup and we can explore your path and talents together. there’s no reason for you to wander aimlessly!

intuition tea - you’re ready to explore your own intuition and your dark side of the moon, eh? okay! let’s do it! spirit and i don’t gatekeep but we can’t promise this will be an easy journey. or fast. dip your toes in and let me hold your hand as you close your eyes and open your third eye. ooh chills!

heart tea - bubbling for some heart tea, i see! sit! sit! let’s find out all about your significant other! this is all about your love life and how it heats you up! 2 clarifying questions are included afterward to get all the steamy details!

astrology chart - let’s explore your birth natal chart and discover how the energies of your rising, sun, moon & more affect you and your everyday life! what insights can we find here!

♡ message me for details/questions & to book a reading! ♡

[torialefay]

🪐 The Night He Took You 🦂

A part 2 to Venus in Scorpio (requested)

bangchan as your boyfriend series!!! 🔞 (astrology based)

✨bangchan x reader (f); SMUT SMUT SMUT

✨request: “Would you possibly do some more for you n channie going further ? I feel like with his need to be in you, any way he can, he would absolutely cum in you....”

✨wc: 5.3k (i got so carried away lol)

✨***if you haven’t read part one, PLEASE do so before reading this! it sets the scene and explains from the astrology aspect. this is only a follow up and will not contain any more natal chart readings. head to my masterlist here to read!!!

✨i promise the rest of the series won’t be entirelyyyy smut. but it’ll definitely be there (hehe sorry, but also not really. we’re all sluts over here reading it anyways.)

✨ warning: this turned into the absolute sluttiest, smuttiest thing i've ever written. minors DNI!! cursing.

• You looked up longingly at your boyfriend who was situated just over top of you. You were laid on your bed, back down, with him using your lower body as support and his arms extended to hover himself above you. You reached your hand up to caress his cheek and pull his face down closer to yours. You needed his kiss just as much as any other part of him.

• Chan rutted his hips into yours, giving some much needed pressure to his hardening dick which was still fully clothed. It had been almost 6 months. 6 months of knowing you. 5 months of pining over you. 4 months of doing everything in his power not to give up his own self to obsess over you. 3 months of chasing after you. 2 months of dates. And finally 1 month of getting to call himself your boyfriend. And soulmate too, he was sure of it.

• And here he was, 6 months later, with his dream girl underneath him. 'Fuck' he thought, 'how did I ever make it here?' He stared at your lips. How beautiful and pink they were, slightly parted for him. Your big eyes, full of innocence and pure wonder, looking at him with so much conviction.

• So many nights he spent fighting off his instinct to rip into you. He was just a man after all. But he knew he needed to do it another way. He knew he needed to wait for the right time. You were the right girl, so it only made sense. Tonight would be the night that he finally would pledge himself to you. All of himself. It wasn't so much that he was excited about it as it was that he NEEDED it. He couldn't stand his body living in 1 inch of separation from yours. He was ready to throw himself all into you. To devote his heart and soul to you forever. With every breath he had, with every ounce of his being, he needed to adhere himself to you. He needed to live inside of you, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He needed to know that wherever he was, you would be there as a part of him. No matter how far away. And vice versa. Tonight, with his mind dipped in the thought of you becoming only his… tonight, he would finally take you.

• Still towering over you, he leaned down into your kiss. His mind went blank, focusing only on the movement of your mouth. How right it felt over top of his. He wanted to take his time with you. He wanted to take it slow. But God, you made it hard.

• Slowly, he worked one hand up your body and neck, around to the side of your head. He ran his fingers into your hair, resting his thumb at the very edge of your jaw. Now having full control of your head, he turned it to the side, allowing himself access to push his mouth deeper into the kiss. He licked at the split between your lips slowly, silently begging you to open them for him. He smiled into the kiss when he was met with no resistance. His tongue quickly found its way to yours, sliding across, up and down, however you would allow it. He went deeper and deeper until he was sure he would fall in. Falling into you surely wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. ‘In fact’, he thought, ‘I couldn’t ask for anything better.’ Getting completely, hopelessly, entirely lost in you is all he could ever want. To become one with his baby.

• Chan was ready to throw himself fully into you. “Can I?” he asked, tugging at the hem of your shirt. You didn’t respond, just put your hand over his and slowly had him pull up on the top until it was over and off your head. His heart melted at you guiding him to what you wanted. You never let go of the contact, wanting as much heat of his skin as you could get. You lead his hand slowly back down, dragging along your face and down to your neck, before slowly resting over top of one breast. You moved your hand around over top of his to signal for him to begin.

• ‘Fucking hell,’ Chan thought, feeling how soft your were under his touch. He felt the contrast of your skin to the hard raise of your nipple. He couldn’t believe that he had done that to you. That all of your beauty was exclusively for him. He did that to you. He’d be the last one to ever do that to you. ‘My perfect baby.”

• He slowly began to trace small circles around one nipple, closely examining your reaction. He had to be perfect for you. Seeing you smile and let out a breath, his ego built a little. He slowly ducked his head down towards your other breast. Mimicking what he’d done with the other, he wondered how you would respond to his tongue. He held eye contact with you, waiting for any sign of hesitancy. Instead, he was met with your hand tousling into his curls, lightly stroking along his crown. Chan almost exploded at the feeling of you touching him so gently, with so much love and care. He refused to believe that all of this was his. This was his life now, and it was utterly perfect.

• His tongue drew small circles around one nipple while his hand gently worked around the other one. He made sure to go lightly, not to tease you but to make sure you weren’t overwhelmed and wanted to stop. Holding onto your gaze, he watched as you slowly writhed under the tiny strokes he was making on you. You squirmed as the pressure started to build, making you throb below and grow wetter and wetter.

• Chan couldn’t contain himself at the sight. Something almost animalistic came over him. What it was, he didn’t know. All he knew was that he wanted to completely demolish you. ‘Mine. ALL fucking mine,’ he thought. At that, he bit down hard on your nipple, sending a shock of pleasure and pain that you’d never felt before. He started to flick his tongue quickly around it, and you felt a warm sensation come over you. You looked down at Chan to see that he was still staring at your face waiting to see your reaction. Waiting to see what he did to you. You gripped onto his hair tighter, pushing him down onto you. You needed to feel him as close as possible. He got the hint and latched on, biting down with everything he had. For the first time, he felt like he was consuming you. Actually consuming you. He felt his dick harden as he thought about your body giving in totally to him. How good you took him and let him do whatever he pleased. It was almost as if your body was his own, so he could do whatever he wanted. And fuck did that make him want more.

• He moved to the other breast, continuing his rounds. He was determined to mark your whole body. To bite into you every chance he got. He would mark you until you couldn’t look at one single part of your body without remembering whose you were. His tongue flicked back and forth aggressively, like he was starved and would take whatever you could give him.

• “Chrisss,” you moaned out, becoming almost unbearably aware of the wetness heightening between your legs. You were on fire for his touch anywhere you could get it, yes. But you needed so much more. “Chris please,” you writhed underneath him.

• His name. Fuck, why did you have to say his name. “Baby,” he breathed out, his hot breath again your nipple, making you shiver. “Fuck, say it again,” he growled. You’d never seen this side of him. “Please God, fucking say it again,” almost an anger was in in voice.

• “Chris, baby, please. I need more of you. I need all of you.”

• That’s all it took. He was ballistic now. In one pulse, he was pulled up to your eye level. He looked at your face for a fleeting moment, admiring how beautiful you looked for him. Only fleeting though. He roughly took your face in his hands, almost smothering. “You’re going to look at me with those pretty eyes for the rest of the night, understand? You are mine, y/n. All fucking mine. Tonight, I will be the only thing on your mind. Focus on me. You got it?” he huffily snarled out.

• “Yes, Chris. Make me yours. Now. Please. I’m yours, I’m all yours.” You strained, trying to get the last part out. You could hardly breathe, blood rushing to your head. Your eyes almost rolled back. Chan picked up on how you responded to his new-found rage, he wondered how much further he could take you. He didn’t mean to feel that way- rage. It just washed over him. Not because he was upset with you, but because he was upset with the situation. He was overtaken with a type of mania because it was so fucking unfair that whatever he did, he could never get close to you. He could lay on top of you, have his dick inside of you, connect his tongue to yours, consume you from the inside out and it still wouldn’t be enough. You were his in this life, and that was good. But he needed you to be his in the next life, and the one after. He needed to own your soul.

• He quickly looked down at you, lustful as he’d ever been. His hands moved quickly from your jaw down to your throat. He squeezed down. Hard. Harder. Hardest. You turned red, then pale. This was the most beautiful he’s ever seen you. He hovered his face over yours in a smirk, watching as you gasped for air. He released one hand slightly, alleviating only a tiny amount of pressure before pressing right back in. Your head had fallen backwards, so he moved his own to be directly looking into you. “Breathe out. Breathe into me,” he instructed.

• A look of power came over his face as he couldn’t stop smiling at you. The way that you were choked up for him. The way that he needed you to give the last of your breath to him. “Open and give me a breath,” he whispered.

• You pursed your lips slightly and puffed out everything you could. You turned blue and felt the lack of oxygen in your brain. Your vision went blurry. The last thing you saw was Chan’s mouth hovering just over yours, taking a deep inhale through his mouth, like he had been craving it this whole time. He closed his mouth as to not let any of the air back out and took a deep swallow.

• His grip quickly loosened, and you leaned up off the bed gasping for air. “My perfect girl,” he whispered into your ear, nipping at it softly while you caught your breath. The sudden rush of air into your lungs mixing with the 180 of Chan’s actions sent you spiraling.

• He took your neck in his hands again, not squeezing this time but gaining control of your head. He tilted it back slightly and leaned down so he was only an inch from your face. “Open up baby. You’ve got to breathe me in too.” You parted your mouth, as instructed, not able to open up all the way. “Just like that,” he purred, satisfied. “You’re gonna have a part of my soul too now, okay?”

• You nodded in response, keeping your mouth parted open for him. “In through your mouth,” he instructed. His lips parted slightly, blowing a cool breath into your lips. His breath turned hot once he had strained to get out all he could. He watched as you took in all you could, gulping when you knew you’d reached the end. He sealed your mouth with a kiss so full of passion you hoped it would never stop. “You and I until the very end, yeah?”

• “And beyond,” you smiled up at him, batting your eyes slowly opened and closed. He reciprocated the smile, eyes now full of love instead of lust.

• He whispered quietly, almost as if he didn’t know if he wanted you to hear it or not. “The heart of my heart. The breath of my breath. The spirit of my spirit. I could never love anything more than you in this moment.”

• He moved down on your body, trailing kisses until he reached your underwear line. He took his time pulling your bottoms and underwear off, continuing his trail of kisses down your legs. Slowly he kissed, as if each touch to your skin was the first time. Once he reached the end of your leg, he removed the clothes completely. He quickly pulled his top off revealing his beautiful, toned torso and chest. You could see his traps sticking up from behind his back. That was your favorite part of him. Those broad shoulders always took your breath away.

• “You are so perfect, Channie,” you muttered just loud enough for him to hear. A blush spread across his face as he looked down. He got so shy every time you complimented him. He always insisted you didn’t, but you knew he secretly loved it.

• He continued his path to taking off his clothes, quickly pulling his boxers and shorts off while still on his knees in between you. Once they were off, he looked down to you, admiring every last inch. Your face had to have gone red, you thought, when you saw him look down at the area he had set out to discover, biting his lip and grabbing hard onto your inner thighs. He gripped tightly and massaged them back and forth, back and forth, looking intently the entire time. His hands let loose and he slowly dragged them up your thighs and around the sides and top of your vagina- ever so slowly.

• ‘Jesus Christ this girl of mine,’ Chan thought. He felt saliva build up in his mouth. ‘This is all yours Chris. Fuck, this is all yours,” he massaged you. He was determined to give you the most perfect, most beautiful, soul-bonding night of your life. Was it for him too? Of course. But now, you were a part of him. Pleasing you was pleasing himself.

• Once he was satisfied with rubbing his hands into you, he slowly lowered himself to put half of his body onto you. One leg to the side of your thigh and one arm resting to the side of your torso. His heart swelled as he saw you bring your hand up to hold it on his chest right above his heart.

• Chan leaned down to give you a soft kiss. “Wanted to be closer to you,” he sheepishly smiled. You smiled back.

• “Love you, Channie,” you smiled up at him, pushing your hand harder into his chest to feel his heartbeat.

• “I love you too.” He leaned his head to the side to open his mouth and plant sloppy kisses against your neck. He bit down just enough to leave a mark, and he knew it. “Let me show you how much I love you,” he mumbled into your hair.

• In one swift motion, he snaked his hand back down your body until he was just covering the top of your cunt. Finally, he started to rub, leisurely taking his time. He was so tauntingly slow, you wiggled underneath him yet again. You removed your hand from his chest and pushed it down to rest on top of his. You pushed on his hand, agging him on to go faster.

• “No, princess. Let me take my time,” he whispered into your ear with a hot breath. He was driving you fucking crazy. The way he felt slowly made you feel warm and fuzzy. It also made you feel like you were going to explode any second if you didn’t get more. You started reflexively bucking your hips up into his hand. You didn’t even realize you were doing it.

• ‘Holy shit,’ Chan thought, smiling into your hair. Feeling you rut into his hand made all of the blood in his body rush to his dick. He slipped two fingers into the middle of you, covering his them to get them lubricated. ‘So fucking wet, Jesus Christ,’ he almost threw his head back thinking about how he was the one who made you get so worked up. His fingers started to trace around your clit slowly. He felt your breathing stop, and he lifted himself slightly to get a good look at your face. You had your head leaned back, eyes closed tight, mouth dropped open. ‘This is just the fucking start baby, just you wait,’ he thought to himself, smiling down at you. ‘I’m gonna take you so fucking good.’ He sped his fingers up, gaging how you would react. Your breathing got heavier and heavier. Your hands balled up into fists around the bed sheets. ‘Look at you,’ he thought. ‘So good for me so easily.’

• The faster he went, the harder it was for you to keep control. Your head started spinning and you felt a throbbing throughout your whole body. You threw yourself into Chan’s chest, trying to bury yourself away. It felt too good. Chan instinctively pushed his chest down into you, pushing you deep into the bed and shielding you from the outside word. From inside the cage he made for you with his body, all you could hear was his heart beat continuing to quicken, and all you could feel was his quick fingers working you to your breaking point.

• “Channie… Channie… Please baby, GOD!” you yelled out, screaming into his chest.

• He let out a deep growl. “Mmmmm,” he grunted out. “Do you want to come baby?”

• “Yes, yes! Oh God yes. Please don’t stop. Please don’t stop!” He kept the pace up with his fingers, about to send you over the edge. His face ducked down to nuzzle into your neck, planting kisses and bites on top of the ones he’d already left.

• You were getting so close. Each flick of his fingers felt like it would be the one to push you over the edge. You felt the familiar feeling of your legs starting to curl up. “FUCK. Fuck, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum,” you kept repeating to him.

• “Yeah baby?” Chan brought his forehead to yours, one hand around your neck, now starting to press down. “I want to hear you fucking scream for me y/n. Scream for me. Scream into me. You’re not doing anything else without me anymore, do you understand? You better fucking give it all to me right fucking now. Scream for me!!!”

• Your whole body let go like fireworks were exploding inside of you. “CHRIS. CHRIS. Holy fuck. CHRIS,” you started to cry out. The whole time, Chan’s face was pressed up right next to yours, lips open yet again, like he was trying to devour every last word you screamed out.

• “Aaaahh,” he growled at you, going harder at your clit. You body went catatonic, shaking and unable to move. He just held you down in that position and swatted at your hands from trying to stop him.

• “Chris I can’t do it anymore!” you screamed out to him. Tears were streaming from your eyes.

• “You can and you will. You are going to cum for me again, do you hear me? You are going to give me the last fucking drop of energy in your body. You are MINE, y/n. Start acting like it and give yourself up.”

• Your entire face was covered in tears at this point. It felt so good, but it was just all so much. His touch was unrelenting, and every thrash of your body was met with Chan’s own pinning you down. He wasn’t going to let off one bit until you had another orgasm for him.

• You felt it slowly creeping up again in your stomach. This time even warmer than before. From the look on Chan’s face, he knew it too.

• “That’s right pretty girl, give it to me. It’s okay, you can let it out. Cry if you have to, but let it out for me,” he coached you. He wasn’t lying. You were a fucking mess, drool everywhere, hands red from pulling at anything you could, and laying in a puddle of your own tears.

• You felt it again. There it goes, a shockwave starting in your clit. It shocked down to your toes and suddenly climbed it’s way up each leg. Chan let out a small chuckle when he felt your body convulse underneath his. You lost all control of your body. Not a single thought was left in your mind. You didn’t know anything anymore. You couldn’t utter a single word, only hold your breath and ride it out. It felt too fucking good. You cried and cried and cried until your body finally relaxed.

• Finally being able to catch your breath, you couldn’t stop your tears from coming out. One after another, they kept tumbling off your face. You were too overstimulated and too exposed to do anything else. You felt like a part of you had been released out of your body.

• “Shhhh, baby, shhhh,” Chan pet your head as he held it in place with one hand, kissing your forehead. “I’m here, I’m here. It’s okay,” he cooed. He continued kissing your forehead and petting your head, but the tears didn’t stop.

• Normally Chan would be concerned. But this time, it only agged him on. His baby was crying for him. His dick grew harder and harder at the sight of how beautiful you looked crying. The most raw emotions on total display for him to watch. He was in awe. This is what it was like to have a love. To have someone that you would give everything to. And he did mean everything.

• You were trying to compose yourself. Trying to contain your cries. “Channie, I- I love you,” you finally got out in a quiet tone.

• “I love you too baby. That’s why I have to do this.” You looked into his eyes as he slowly lined himself up at your entrance and started pushing into you. He went so slowly, it was like he was waiting for you to give him a sign. This new feeling wasn’t like the last- no. With him on your clit, it felt like love in its most lustful form. But this, this feeling of him being inside of you was way more than lust. It had to be in its own category. ‘This’, you thought, ‘is love in its most unadulterated, most lavish, and most whole form.’

• Chan couldn’t believe that he was finally fucking you. Scratch that, he wasn’t fucking you. He was making love to you in its most pure structure. He felt how tight you were as he slowly pulled himself in and out of you. He studied your face for any change in expression. You still had a few tears coming out, yes, but the look on your face seemed to have changed. Were you smiling?

• “Feels good, yeah princess?” He whispered against your neck while pushing himself deeper and deeper with each stroke.

• “Yes Channie. You feel so good. I feel so… full,” you breathed out, a big smile on your face with the occasional tear streaming down. These weren’t tears of overstimulation anymore, Chan realized. They were tears of love. And that got him more than anything this entire night.

• Chan put his whole body on top of you, squeezing you down into the mattress and resting his head right on top of yours, nose to nose and mouth lingering just above yours.

• “I want you to look at me baby,” he started, eyes full of passion. “I want you to look at me until we’re done, okay? Keep those big, beautiful eyes on me. I fucking love you more than anything in this world, y/n. You’re all mine now. No one else’s. I will love you and I will be with you in your very core until the day you die, don’t ever forget that.” His words grew harsher as he started thrusting into you harder.

• “My beautiful girl, why are you crying?” He wiped at a tear and kissed over your cheek, never letting up on his speed.

• “I just- I really fucking love you Channie. I fucking love you and I love the way you feel and I love you in your body, mind, and spirit. And god, I just fucking love adore you,” you cried out with a sense of defeat in your voice.

• A nerve struck Chan with that one. He could feel his whole body start to turn hot as he began to thrust even harder. “I fucking love you too baby. With everything in me. I’m gonna show it to you. I’m gonna cum inside you, yeah?” He picked up the pace even more- faster, harder. You remained with your eyes on his the whole time.

• “You’re gonna be good for me and let me use you? Let me breed you however the fuck I want? Let me go again and again until I put a baby inside you?” He clasped his hands into a fist above your head, holding his forearms tight around the sides of your head to anchor you in place below him. He was going as hard as he possibly could. You’d never seen him in this state before. His eyes were staring into you, hungry for more than just your body, but for your entire being. He was going to absolutely wreck you before it was over with, but God it felt so good. You felt so full, and you started to get hit in just the right spot inside. Over and over, he kept hitting it. So deep, you thought you were going to scream.

• “Yes, yes. Breed me. Do whatever you want. I will be a good girl for you. I will give you everything you want,” you roughly replied. You started to move your hips up with every thrust he gave, as if he could get even the slightest bit deeper inside you. You felt it though, and he did too.

• “You ARE a good girl for me, aren’t you baby? Because you were MADE for me. Say it. Say you were made for me,” he yelled, still piercing straight into you.

• “I was made for you, Channie!” you panted, about to lose your shit. If he kept this up, you were going to cum again. He felt too good. Every inch made you lose your breath.

• You watched as Chan put his mouth right on top of yours, not for a kiss, but just as a resting point. You thought you felt a tear drop down onto your face. You pulled your head back just the slightest to get a better look at him. Sure enough, he was crying. Silently albeit, but crying nonetheless. You felt him lock his strong arms around your head even tighter, gripping onto your hair now to stabilize himself as he reached his peak of hard, sloppy thrusts. He was all but throwing himself into you.

• “Who do you belong to?!” He cried out. “WHO DO YOU BELONG TO?”

• “You!” was all you could muster back.

• “And who do I belong to?”

• “Me!! You’re mine, you’re all fucking mine, Christopher. Fucking give it to me as hard as you can goddamn it!” By this point, the tears were there to stay. This was your man in his simplest form. Just a beautifully aching soul who wanted to have someone to belong to.

• “This is what I’ve finally waited for.” Chan slammed into you, tears now streaming in waves down his face. You rolled your hips into his at an even faster pace, needing to explode all over him. And needing him to explode inside of you. “I waited for you for so fucking long.” He almost choked on his own words, crying out while saying them. “And finally I got my prize. You, my beautiful girl.” Deeper thrust. “We will never be alone again.” Deeper thrust and an even deeper cry. “Together forever okay? Until my last breath I will fucking love you.” Deeper thrust, sobs coming uncontrollably. He continued to pound into you as you cried out.

• “I’m cumming, baby, I’m cumming!” you screamed, pulling his face to latch his lips onto yours. You heard him scream into your mouth as you twitched all around him. You suddenly felt full up to the top of your head. This is the only thing you would ever need again. You wrapped your legs tightly around his torso, pulling him closer and rubbing yourself up and down on him to ride out your high.

• “Wrap your legs tight baby, I’m going to cum in you right fucking now. You better- FUCK,” he screamed into you as he felt you squeeze down onto him with your walls and with your legs. “You better take all of this fucking cum and hold it in there. You are going to HOLD IT IN. Looking so fucking pretty with my baby in you. Take it baby, FUCKING TAKE IT,” he yelled with a loud moan. He thrust as hard as he possible could, and yelled out all kinda of profanities when you felt him twitch inside of you, letting every last drop of cum out. You stayed flush against him with your legs wrapped around, writhing to ride him up and down to make sure he could ride out his high.

• “Fuck baby, fuck!” He screamed, trying to pull away from you, but you had him locked in. You kept going and going until he got his payback. Now HE was overstimulated. Crying again, you couldn’t help but have a grin on your face. Crying all for you. What a fucking beautiful man.

• Once his tears stopped and his breathing calmed a bit, you slowly stopped your moving up and down. You decided to keep him inside though, your legs still dangling around his sides.

• “Let’s stay like this for a minute, yeah?” Chan panted into your hair.

• You just smiled up into him, head smothered up to the side of his neck. Your heart was swollen to 10x its normal size.

• “You are so good for me,” he said after a few moments, finally looking down to kiss your forehead. “You know what this means?” He giggled down at you with the cheesiest grin on his face.

• “What’s that?” you looked up to his eyes. They were the prettiest shade of brown you had ever seen. You still felt so warm, so full, with his cock still living inside of you.

• “We are tied together forever now. Which means I get to haunt the shit out of you in every lifetime after this,” he laughed, squeaking a little at how funny he thought he was. There was your goofy boyfriend again. ‘Yeah, I could be content with this life,’ you thought.

[genderkoolaid]

looking at pictures of complete phallo results & reading ppl talking about their experiences is so wild. like I can just get that (hypothetically)! there's so much misinfo about phallo but like. hey if you are reading this and have ever thought "man I wish I could have a penis" I am telling you that you can. like you can have one. "but it won't look good" it certainly can, and you can prioritize aesthetics if you want. "it can't get hard" you can get erectile devices that can give you an erection. "it won't have sensation" plenty of people get sensation (tactile, erotic) and that's another thing you can prioritize with a surgeon. "it won't be the same as a natal dick" there is no gold standard for pensises, nearly every issue you could have (not looking "right", not getting hard, not ejaculating) is an issue AMAB people also deal with. I promise you that you can in fact have a penis if you want one & that idea alone is so powerful

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Ａｔｅｅｚ Ｍａｓｔｅｒｌｉｓｔ

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