#naw shit it is shit tf

[teh-inggris]

aw seriously

[localrobosexual]

I know my silly little shitpost doodle complaining about spambots all over insta and tumblr has breached containment somewhat bc i’ve got a delightfully diverse amount of ppl in the tags of that post either a.) also complaining abt the spambots, b.) furries and other artists tagging it as such, c.) ppl making DOOM and pyro tf2 references, d.) fellow robotfuckers reblogging the addition I made giggling and throwing in their takes on robot fucking and what that entails, e.) ppl mortified by robotfucking at all, and last but not least, this one user who had this absolutely hilarious take that had me actually bust out laughing irl:

[princelancey]

one day with a strategy for lance that makes sense that's all i fucking ask aston, it's literally your job

[gyuswhore]

the nice makeup lady gave me a free box set of beauty blenders bc i basically bought all their lipsticks

[snekdood]

i feel like this is basically my dynamic with this site and many of its inhabitants

[oflgtfol]

ok nvm being online and seeing photos of the eclipse is making me upset i missed jt bc of the stupid clouds so im just gonna get offline

[racew1nn3rs]

─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

━━━━━━ ༻✩₊⋆☾⋆⁺✧༺ ━━━━━━

hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

[balletfilmss]

hiii can i get a smau percy x daughter of persephone who loves flowers and lives on a farm

FLOWER POWER!

✸ pairing: percy jackson x daughter of persephone!reader smau

✸ notes: tysm for requesting & im sorry this took a hot minute, but i hope you like it!! 🤍

…now playing: love grows (where my rosemary goes) — edison lighthouse

persea_: i’ve officially made friends with the ferns 🫡(thank you yn for not letting them eat me)

tagged: @flowersforyn

view all comments

g_man: are you…are you AWARE of how ferns work?

╰┈➤ persea_: yeah i am. 2 words: chomp chomp

chqsingannabeth: who’s…who’s truck did you steal?

╰┈➤ persea_: what’re you a cop?

flowersforyn: guys don’t be fooled by the second pic, this was the aftermath of him DROPPING me

╰┈➤ persea_: one, didn’t have to expose me like that & two, I SAID I WAS SORRY

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: SORRY ISNT ENOUGH, MY ASS STILL HURTS

╰┈➤ persea_: i bet it does 😗😉

╰┈➤ g_man: reminder that this is a PUBLIC app

ghostking: pls don’t break her

╰┈➤ persea_: did…did u just say PLEASE?

╰┈➤ ghostking: i take it back. break her and i break your neck.

team.leo: why she violating a tree like that

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: leo just bc you didn’t get hugged as a kid doesn’t mean nobody else did 😒

╰┈➤ notpipermclean: OH SHE ATE YOU TF UP WITH THAT ONE. GAGGED

tysonn: ask yn if ferns will be my friend too

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: they absolutely will tyson, we’ll have to bring you out to the farm next weekend <3

╰┈➤ tysonn: yay!

╰┈➤ persea_: me too, right?

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: …

╰┈➤ persea_: RIGHT??

notpipermclean: yn get this loser off our farm, the kids are asking questions

╰┈➤ persea_: PIPER STOP HITTING ON MY GF AND SPREADING FALSE INFORMATION

╰┈➤ notpipermclean: NO🤗 im gonna report you for hate speech

╰┈➤ persea_: mf YOU’RE hate speeching ME

╰┈➤ sp4rky: @ team.leo the girls are fighting 👀

╰┈➤ team.leo: 🍿🫢

…now playing: strawberries & cigarettes — troye sivan

flowersforyn: fav boy on the farm!! 🍓

tagged: persea_

view all comments

chqsingannabeth: your face being cut off of that first pic is CRIMINAL 😩 not percy’s tho, that was a gift from the gods

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: im srry babe, i looked goofy 😔

╰┈➤ chqsingannabeth: oh no ma’am, you could NEVER

╰┈➤ persea_: WE GONNA IFNORE THE COMMENT SBT ME HELLO?!

persea_: the best day with my absolute best girl 🩵

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: kicking my feet & giggling, ILY SEAWEED BRAIN 🤍

╰┈➤ persea_: ILY TOO FLOWER POWER

g_man: WHAT did you do to make those strawberries look so scrumdidliuptious?

╰┈➤ persea_: dyslexia just took me OUT with this one dude 😭

╰┈➤ g_man: nobody was talking to you brotha 🙏

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: grover bud i use my mommy’s magic, hope this helps 🫶

persea_: don’t let her lie to you, people. i thought my first fit was BOMB & then she made me put on that sweater cuz it was cold as hell outside

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: i want you to read that again…slowly

notpipermclean: save me yn the garden princess …save me

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: have no fear bae, im here 🫂

╰┈➤ persea_: yn, babydoll, i beg of you, PLEASE stop hitting on people that aren’t me

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: there’s enough of me to go around perce 😒

╰┈➤ notpipermclean: YEAH PERCY SHARE

sp4rky: why is bro carryin a whole bakery on that swing

╰┈➤ persea_: jason…🤭

╰┈➤ flowersforyn: NAW IF I CANT DO IT YOU CANT DO IT, JASON GET TF OUTTA MY COMMENT SECTION OR ELSE

╰┈➤ sp4rky: I PLEAD THE FIFTH

flowersforyn uploaded a story!

@ g_man replied:

why is bro so silly 😭

idk but he’s the silliest

@ sp4rky replied:

tell him to leave the flying to me

i’m not telling him SHIT from you

RAHH

@ persea_ replied:

idk what ur on about, i look terrifying here

oh yeah, i’m shaking in my boots

great, now can you pls come help me get down?

idk…

YN PLEASE

yknow, i can’t kiss you from up here

i’m otw 🏃‍♀️ 💨

[jeansplaytoy]

detailed aot boy hc’s

cursing , fluff , real life chronicles , proof read later .

connie would most definitely be one of those boyfriends that when you would be like “bae, you wanna watch baddies east wit me?” he’ll be like “hell naw girl.” next minute you be watching it, his ass know everything, everybody. “rollie big ass pissin me off bruh.”

ony makes the jersey club remixes.

but eren and connie get tf down and make most of the jersey club dances.

armins obsessed with gypsy rose. don’t even ask.

connie and ony used to get tore tf up by them switches from outside. they moms have each other permission to whoop them. that’s how bad they was.

eren was a clumsy ass kid. he got scars from when he was a toddler.

armin got into so many secret bathroom fights that nobody knows about.

connie is not friendly fr. he friendly to people he know but he really mean asf to people he don’t know. and that goes for girls too. (only if they try to act all hard and shit.)

jeans teeth are highly sensitive to cold things. he lowkey hates cold water and can only eat ice cream really carefully.

connie used to have a head full of hair when he was little but his mom got tired of doing it was cut it off.

eren was (and lowkey still is) tender headed asf.

ony wasn’t able to watch dennis the menace, rarely able to watch home alone, or problem child because every time he did, he’d try to copy what they did.

armin rage quits a lot. like… a lot. so he always has a new set up or console every month.

jean bites his tongue every day on accident.

y’all know them knew scars them bad kids be having? yeah, connie got bout three of em.

armin cant keep a girlfriend 💀 the only girlfriend he could keep was you.

jean used to be scared of the cat in the hat live action.

eren greened out a LOT in highschool. nigga was a whole marijuana plant his self. he just calmed down after he graduated.

ony got chased by so many damn dogs when he was younger.

connie tried to fight the principal one time because he tried to suspend him because someone lied like connie got in a bathroom fight.

armin got the attitude of a divorced wife. when i tell you he gets mad so damn quick when people that ain’t his friends try to fuck wit him.

connie get smoked every time he eat freedos around the group because they his favorite chips and nobody knows why he like em.

eren got his door took off the frame one time.

jean tried to sneak out his parents window because they permanently locked his. he broke his arm that same night.

armin loves playing in your hair. like he really loves it.

ony got caught skipping school one day when he was in elementary 💀 that ass whoopin was one he’ll never forget.

eren talks so sweet to you but talks mean irl.

armin hates other girls for real, other than sasha and mikasa, and you of course.

connie dyed his happy trail grey.

y’all know them “play fights” boys be having and then they start hitting hard asf and then be breathing heavy asf when they done acting like nothing happened? connie and ony got into one of them in highschool. also armin and eren, and armin and connie.

eren used to have a bald spot from trying to cut his own hair with a razor.

last but not least, jean used to have that sad simpson pfp in middle school. 😭

[agendabymooner]

12345sex ! oscar p. x ofc (singer!ofc)

“and i like the way you taste, some liquor and a chaser.”

summary: oscar’s cutely obsession over mercury ‘mercy’ nicoletta was apparent that lando clowned him for it. little did everyone know, mercy’s wild boyfriend was the polite australian from the mclaren team.

content warning: use of explicit language, based on a request by @happy-nico, feral!ofc x feral!oscar, lando clowning oscar, suggestive posts (16+), haters gonna hate, fluff

note: this isn’t much😩 but enjoy some freaky oscar

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, girlinred

user1 mother 😭

user2 mommy- sorry- mommy? sorry-

oscarpiastri 🤩

user3 lmao what- IS THAT OSCAR PIASTRI 😭

user4 bestie who tf is he? 🤧🤧

user3 some guy who goes zoom zoom on a car

user5 oscar pastry on his mercy simp shit— again

user6 idk who he is but apparently mclaren needs to control this oscar guy

SHUFFLING PLAYLIST w/ LANDO AND OSCAR by mclaren

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris

user1 LETS ALL GO HOME HE WON

user2 mama y papa?

user3 why dis photo kinda— 🤤🥵

user4 girl if my bf’s back give me more space to scratch on i wouldn’t behave too 😩

mercuryisme so real for that 😭

landonorris oscarpiastri go home lad she's not choosing you

user5 NAW LANDO THAT IS MANIACAL 😭😭

user6 lando’s about to catch hands bro 😫

oscarpiastri aren’t you single? 🧐

user7 ACTUAL VIOLATION STAWP 💀

tagged oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, arthur_leclerc, landonorris

logansargeant i didn’t think he wasn’t being delirious when he said you to were dating😄

mercuryisme 😇😇

arthur_leclerc freaky oscar??? since when???

oscarpiastri 🙂 don’t worry about it

arthur_leclerc cool 🙃

landonorris still baffled but okay 💀

landonorris that man is obsessed with you, you know that right?

landonorris that’s not my teammate— you’re dating a different oscar piastri mate

mercuryisme i can tell you i’m seeing the same oscar you’re seeing, norris 🙂 same neck, same back, same everything

landonorris ew, don’t need to get graphic

mercuryisme stop questioning the integrity of my oscar piastri then 😇

user1 oscar piastri, certified freak

user2 seven days a week 😭

user3 wap? pullout game weak?

user4 i’m more surprised that it was her on her knees instead of oscar on that previous post tho 😄🥲

user5 THIS ISNT WHO WE ARE OSCAR!!!

user6 vegas can change so many people...

oscarpiastri who said anything about this being a vegas effect?

user6 what 😟

oscarpiastri 🫢 liked by mercuryisme

mercuryisme hehe 🤭

♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @topguncultleader @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa @magnummagnussen

[aviradasa]

Hi :) ! I hope you're doing well <3 . I was wondering if you could do some Larry Johnson x chubby!fem!reader hdcns, along with some Sal Fisher ones too ? 🖤 Ily !!

Yesss there is not enough chubby reader on here, and as a chubbier girl myself, I couldn't wait to write this!! And Ilyt 🖤🖤 I hope you enjoy these Lil HCs

Larry and sal x Chubby!Fem!reader HCs

Separately of course

{Fluff} Warnings: some swearing,mentions of creeps but that's it.

Masterlist

Larry:

Ok, to start, Larry with a Chubby Reader is a match made in heaven

He doesn't care you got a Lil meat on your bones his literal catchphrase is

"Well, there's just more of you to love."

He lives by it.

You will never see him be one of those guys that tells you not to eat something cause 'you gotta lose a few pounds'

Naw he don't give a fuck. It's your body he loves you no matter what.

Also, I've touched on it in the past, but I think Larry is a touchy guy.

Like not even in an inherently sexual way, it's literally just how he shows love

With you, it's all hugs,kisses,cuddles,grabs, and squeezes.

He loves how soft your skin feels even in the spots with bumps or stretchmarks he still loves it.

He would lowkey like to trace your stretchmarks. Or maybe paint them. I could see him turning your stretchmarks into like a cool as lightning piece.

Also, he would love just laying on you. He gets hella comfortable just laying on your thighs.

And if he gets the chance to fall asleep on them. That's it he's out like a light for hours.

But if you move, he will wake up and be like

"Where the fuck are you going?"

He's also your number 1 defender/Protector

cause ain't nobody gonna talk to his girl in a way he don't like.

Someone makes fun of your weight.

Well, now they are insecure about their own.

He's all about treating others how they treat you.

He has and will make a bully insecure the same way they made you insecure, but while he does it, he's talking you up the whole time

Cause you're perfect.

Now, if someone is hitting on you, he's lowkey proud like

"Yeah, my girls, great, and nobody else can have her"

But if they are making you uncomfortable or just downright fetishizing you ( i hate when this happens and if it happens to you to im so sorry)) he's getting you tf outta there, and who knows. He gets feisty he might try to square up with them 😭

He's just really awesome.

He takes care of you and loves you so much

To him, weight doesn't mean shit. He loves you for you. Your personality is what matters to him. And he will always be there for you.

Even if you're feeling insecure, he's pulling you outta that state of mind.

But let's be honest with him, it's almost impossible he never gives you the chance to feel bad about yourself.

He reasures you before you even realize you need it.

Overall, he's just a great boyfriend no matter what size you are

Sal:

Alright, sal is just the sweetest damn thing on earth

You think he gives a FUCK your a Lil Chubby?

Naw

I mean, when he was younger, even he was a little Chubby.

Plus, the guy got his face blown off. He's not the type to judge

He's just happy that he has someone that he loves and that loves him for who he is.

That's what means the most to him

And he does his best to show it.

He's not as touchy as Larry, but he still is big on it, especially farther into your relationship

The more he trusts you, the more it becomes

He lives for your hugs. He finds it really comforting. You're like a little pillow

Like if he wakes up in the night from night terrors or a vision. He will just grab you and pull you into a cuddle

The next morning, you wake up, and you have to poke him to make sure he's just sleeping and not dead

You just have that calming effect on him. idk

He is just always holding you

Your hand,your waist, an arm over your shoulders (if he can reach)

He also does not care about what you eat.

He's just like girl do whatever you want.

If you do wanna lose weight ok just do it responsibly.

Don't hurt yourself in any way.

Honestly, this could go for both him and Larry.

Getting onto the topic of protection

sal is a sassy dude.

especially as an adult. Dude, hit 19 and said fuck it I'm done.

Someone insults you for your weight ok well sal is talking shit on their whole bloodline.

he has a roster of insults he's come up with over the years

And he can be mean as fuck 😭

And the thing is, he doesn't even swear a lot while doing it. He is pulling up with words that even you're just like, "What?"

So just cause they said something to you, he's not only making fun of them but also there intelligence without even trying

Who needs to swing when you have sals attitude.

Now, if someone normally hits on you, he doesn't really care he might wait for them to leave, then chuckle about it with you

But if they are full on like touching you or fetishizing you, he don't let it slide.

He lowkey finds it fun to fuck with creeps.

Like, don't get me wrong, he hates what people do it to you in public, but he just loves the chance to talk his shit

just watching him make fun of them. cheers you up. just cause let's face it

he's 5'8 as an adult, and he's kinda lanky, so watching him make fun of someone bigger than him is hilarious

He has made a dude cry.

It was hilarious. You lowkey forgot the dude had full-on grabbed your ass

But yeah, other than that, Sal just doesn't give a fuck your chubby your a human being and he loves you.

And he always will.

You're also never insecure with him. He lets you know how beautiful and lovely you are and how much he appreciates you.

And you do the same for him

You guys are just the best together 🖤

[shotmrmiller]

Honestly if I were in a toxic relationship with Simon and I wanted to make him mad I wouldn’t bother finding another guy, I’d look for his other women and make them see heaven.

Nothing would hurt this man more than a bruised ego.

wrong he's into that lame shit 😒 definitely asks why tf you ain't call him like he's on your phone hello???

you had no issue messaging him to come over that one time so what, suddenly ya can't reach out???

naw ya gotta get into a committed relationship with soap cuz he's toxic right, he's possessive but soap is a good man and he wouldn't step on his toes so now he's just a brewing pot of vitriol and it makes it even better when he realizes that he had it pretty good with you like the food you used to make him back when he'd come back from a job is now soaps.

now he's gotta go to the one woman who's name he has a hard time remembering meanwhile soap goes home to stability and a future and he's a dog who's reluctant to lick his wounds so he festers instead.

delicious 🥴

but he's not upset about it no! it's just happenstance that he bumps into you in public a lot now.

[boosaot]

Guess who finally kicked their ass into gear and it watching "Army of the Doomstar"

(vv Spoilers cuz I'm legit yapping about the whole movie vv)

LONG post warning

Dude Toki is looking ROUGH

How about we un-shift gears and mind our damn business

NAW Toki's lil sad noise after Skwis refused his hug :(

Nathan's goin thru it jeez- IN THE MEDICAL WARD CUZ OF PTSD DAMN

Intro got me groovin'

Am I crazy or did the quality of animation get a lot better?

Murderface,,, Time and Place dude,,

THEYRE LIKE CHILDREN IM HOLLERING WHY IS TOKI LICKING THE FUCKING PEW IM ACTUALLY TEARING UP HOLY SHIT

!!Get off of me don't touch Skwigsaar!!

Pickles exhausted mom core

What an entrance Nathan "Uhh-Hi. Sorry. I'm on Xanax"

SORRY WHAT- Xan, Red Wine AND COFFEE brother is OUT OF IT

"fuck off."

Charles,, brother,, this man is not hearing a WORD you just said

IM OGING TO THROW UP FROM LAUGHING TOO MUCH

Marriage wont fix your trauma bestie- NATHAN PLEASE STAND UP

TAKE A LAP AROUFN THE BLOCK THINK ABOUT IT I- EHERHAHA

Nathan is just embarrassing the both of them in front of EVERYONE

IM- "There's no way this day could get any worse" "Please Welcome Dr. Rockzo, The Rock n' Roll Clown"

Someone kill this fuck-ass clown PLEASE his ass is OUT OF TUNE

Someone grab another pair of noise canceling headphones STAT

BRO YOU ARENT EVEN USING THEM PASS 'EM OVER

This has got to be a wild sight for Nathan bro is out of it

Fire cum is a new one,,, thank you for that Murderface

that was a bit excessive,, (actually startled me ngl)

hehaahEHAHA KNUBBLER YOU FUCKING LOSER (affectionate) looks so goofy fallin down the stairs

lol Toki quickly taking his feet out at MF pissing in their water supply (either cuz MF is literally pissing in the water or he himself didn't know he was putting his feet in their water supply,, either way, cute)

"Fuckers will be dying and shit" so real babe

Their hair wavin' in the wind so pretty

Sister Sunshine Rainbow Marshmallow Toki realness

:( this just make me sad bruh poor Murderface :(

THE WAY THEY JUST LET PICKLES FALL ON THE GROUND

Knubbler's losing it,, man,, that was good food too

Awe Toki's lil cheering while Nathan's climb

OKAY Animation I see you (Drugs ftw I guess)

SHOWTIME BAEBEYY

The ANIMATION WRAAA I am eating it (it looks so good)

Well as good of a song as this is,,, I HIGHLY doubt its the right one,, judging from all the death,, and non-salvation happening

GET UR ASS UP BITCH HEY YOUY BLOND FUCK GET TF UP HEY

nah im sure hes fine but still WAKE UP BESTIE (konked tf out)

BRO- Murderface the poor dude wtf man,,

damn R.I.P Knubbler u were a real one

IS HE PLAYING THE GUITAR PASSED OUT I-

bro is looking scrumptious

wet cat skwisgaar pt.2

he looks so baby right here whatthefuck

There was no way to convey this scene through text that would do it justice so here (The lil "uh-ow what the fuck ow" HAD ME CACKLING)

*claps*

Nathan you queer (<3)

even just the intro to the song is so fucking good dude )the lil "bwow-u-woung" noise from the guitar mnyamnyamnyam saur good)

Pickles is going insane on the drums

Salacia how about you go suck a bag of dicks

I wheezed (me too buddy)

They're on some gay shit rn (good for them)

Thousand yard stare

awe Toki

SKWISGAAR YOU CUNT IM HEHEHAHEHEEHAH

AYY fat kid survived the cats good for him

Hip jut out ok sass

LETS GOOOOO

WHALE GOD MVP

fellas... (Skwisgaar so princess loser here)

Nathen realizing the fans are the Army of the Doomstar is so fuckign funny (his lil "Holy Shit"s r so funny)

awe proud dad smile

-

That was such a good movie,,, holy fuckin shit,,

"chirp"

[curvykittyyssmutfics]

Catch Me If You Can

Jojo: where tf u at? called u like 10 times.

Me: ik. call you back inna minute, dam. chill out.

Jojo: best watch yo mouth if u know was good for u.

Me: why Jo? Not like you can do shit bout it rn..

Jojo: where are you y/n?

Me: atta party..

Me:

Jojo: lil girl, swear to God. Quit fuckin playin with me. Drop ur location.

Jojo: right fuckin now.

Me: naw, I'm good.

Jojo: Ma, you playin wit fire rn..

Me: catch me if you can.

I slide my phone into the back pocket of my mini ass shorts with an amused chuckle before grabbing Marie and tugging her to the living room to dance. It's dim and humid but fuck if I give a damn bout that while me and my girl roll our hips to the beat. [ https://youtu.be/e5RUsVqX37Q?si=00j1_Xqfpqf5Ov7C]

Whole vibe got me sweatin my edges out as we grind through 3 more songs; it's a miracle that I even see the front door swing open as I'm caressin and windin my body to the beat:

Marie and I make it out the back door by the skin of our teeth, giggling as we run cross campus to the next party. It's pitch black and freezing cold out side, but neither of us care as we fly through the brisk breeze. My booty shorts don't do a damn thing to help contain my ass as it jiggles wildly with each step.

We're both wheezing and clutching our sides for air as we fly through the door and slam it shut. It's cracking in here; place is packed with bodies, booze and laughter. Led lights flash allover the room as the music booms, clearly signaling a more lively atmosphere than the last place.

"Y/n! Marie!" Andre beckons us from the corner of room, sitting with his arm slung around Cate's shoulders as he holds up a blunt.

We make our way over, Marie immediately sittin down criss cross on the floor and explaining our narrow escape from Jordan as Andre lights the blunt. Its dark in here too besides the bouncing lights; the air is smoky as fuck in this corner of the room. No way I woulda seen Dre if he aint call out to us.

He takes a few puffs before handing the blunt to Cate. She takes a soft inhale before givin it to me. Just what I need after all that excitement.

I sit, taking deep pulls from the blunt before passing it to Marie. Blowin out the smoke slowly I cant help dippin back into my seat and closin my eyes as I let the tree go to work. It's so easy to let their voices surround me as I tune out their words. The fuzzy, warm sensation wraps my body in a hug, the welcoming high foggin my brain as I recline and laze into the couch.

I'm so relaxed into my vibe that I barely feel Cate tap my naked knee. I turn my head to look at her slender frame leaned into Andre's side.

"You better not let them know we knew where you are; Jordan don't play that shit. Marie might be screwed already but I'm not takin one for the team on this one." Andre says facing Cate, letting her shotgun his hit.

I smirk and close my eyes again before respondin.

"Fine.. Pussy."

"Oh so you extra tough now right? Huh ma?"

Daddy's voice is a low snarl in my ear as my eyes snap open wide. It's comical how quick my cowardly friends scatter as Jordan comes around the back of the couch to stand in front of me.

"Hi, Jordan. See ya y/n/n!" Marie chirps before disappearing into the darkness.

"Don't forget to come say bye before you guys leave." Cate says, dragging Andre off in the same direction.

I'm dying to escape with em, specially wit how Jordans starin at me. Bae look like she on demon time and I'm not sure if I can take whats comin. Got me hesitant to speak knowin I completely got caught slippin.

"Baby," I start sickeningly sweet. "You're here! I'm so happy. Marie said-"

Jordan's hand flashes out like lightening to grip my neck and pull me close. The squeeze makes each shallow breath difficult but the dark stoic gaze piercing my fuckin soul keep me from movin an inch. I do nothing more than limply hold at her wrist while she steps closer to press us nose to nose.

"Tell me one goddamn word that came outta Moreau's mouth. Go head, I fuckin dare you. You're gonna be fuckin sorry y/n."

I don't think I've ever been so quick to shut the fuck up. The silence stretches for a few momemts, makes me uneasy and I'm sure Jordan knows this. Knows every fuckin thing about me, about my body.

"I went through alotta fuckin trouble to find you, so I dont give a fuck what anybody else thinks, thought or fuckin said."

She uses the grip on my neck to slowly pull me from the couch and put me on my knees, refusing to lose eye contact as the other hand unbuttons her jeans. Full lips upturned at the corner inna smirk, button nose flared.. I already know the plans going through that maniacal mind, know what's comin next. I don't know what's pounding harder: my heart or my cunt.

"You listenin to what everybody else fuckin said but which one of them are here to save you now y/n?"

The cold hard wood floor presses against my smooth brown skin as I shift nervously, watchin as Jordan smoothly transitions. Doesn't even bother to check if anyone's looking as he pulls out his rigid leaky dick and repeatedly taps it across my mouth. Daddy stares down at me lookin absolutely furious, his breathing startin to accerlerate as he makes a mess on my face.

So lengthy and so fuckin angry, tip flushed the prettiest and deepest of pinks. Thick clear strings of precum smear allover my bare heart shaped lips as he humps forward over and over, doin the same to my cheeks. He looks fuckin anguished from arousal, but still so goddamn pretty as he uses me.

"You know how long I've been like this? How much I needed you? But you wanna play fuckin games. What bout when you need Daddy? Don't I always give you what you want?"

I know his questions are rhetorical, that if I continue with my earlier attitude that this only gets worst. Still my pussy clenches rhythmically as I lean into his touch, knowin regardless off my permission he's about to pay me back for my insolence.

"Jo pleeeease." I whine, utterly shamed and hoping he'll take me back to his dorm. "Somebody's probably watchin, let's go to your room."

"Naw, fuck that. Tongue out." He spits at me.

I comply at the drop of a dime, drooling a bit as Jordan slides the tip of his dick in and out of my mouth. My hands lay limply in my lap as he holds the sides of my face. Head tipped back, dark chocolate eyes still observing the prey at his feet as he moans loudly into the air. I know his antics are purposeful, hoping that someone hears and stumbles upon my punishment.

"And somebody- mmmmm, ohfuck, just like that, princess- is watchin honey. Wouldn't you wanna see a little brat like you get put in their place?"

The fluids drip from his cock to my tongue steadily as he uses it as a slip and slide. I curl my wet pink muscle on every pull out tryin to get an extra taste.

Even when they're not bein nice, I just wanna please em. It would be a lie if I said I didn't test his nerves jus to end up like this: pussy drippin wet and at their mercy.

"Know what? Mmm, ooooh baby girl, just like that.. I think you're pretendin you don't like bein watched. Hooooh fuck, think we both know it was just a matter of time before you showed everyone how much you love my cock."

His pace speeds; mean words and assault on my mouth make my body heat and pussy clench. Wetness plasters my thick brown thighs as i squeeze them together repeatedly for just a hint a pressure. If I wasn't in so much trouble I'd see if I could get away secretly fingering my clit but getting caught wouldn't be worth it. Daddy's pissed and I'd be dumb to test that.

"Jesus christ, thas it. Ahhh, fuuu- so good, ma, so fuckin good! Shit, put that snappy lil mouth to good use. Daddy'll show you how to talk to me nice sweetheart."

Jordan slides further inside my wet warm cavern, the slight curve of him makin me gag as I try to relax and breathe deeply through my nose. His balls, sticky with my drool, play a game of hit and miss as they occasionally slap my chin. The hold on the sides of my face graduate to one of his big hands with a strong grip in my hair, keeping me in place.

"Fuckin best lil dick sucker I ever meeeet! Should came back to the room baby. Mm fuck, mighta showed you some fuckin mercy."

The rhythm of him fuckin my mouth is so erratic and desperate. Poor daddy seems a bit distressed as grunts and groans turn to sexy whiny moans. I wanna hold em in my arms from how he trembles from the intense nut he's about to bust. The way he tosses his head back with tightly shut lids makes me a bit sad I can't see the pleasure in his beautiful eyes.

"Dammit, I'm so close ma. Yeeees, ohfuck. Uhn uhhhhh.. Get ready, bout to fill that pretty lil throat up with some cream!"

I refuse to shut my eyes shut and miss the way Jordan stills his hips, continuing to use the grip in my freshly styled hair to fuck my mouth on his dick. My eyes tear up but I struggle to blink them back, hoping to not leave this situation so fuckin messy. I moan at the thought of them ruining me, throat already sore from his treatment.

"Ahhhh here it is pretty.. Haaaah sh- feels 'mazin y/nnnn. Take it, mmmmm ahfuck! Thas it. Fuuuuuck!"

I'm so ready when I get the first thick, heavy blast. Takes an extra swallow but I get it down before the 2cnd gush of cum can choke me. Still, Daddy's shootin like I ain't already take 3 of his loads this morning before class.

His nut leaks from the corners of my mouth as he pushes in more, givin me a shot straight down my throat. Jordan finally looks back down at me as I struggle around him. He looks so fuck yummy: forhead wrinkled and covered in a light perspiration, a dazed stare in his eyes as his chest heaves for air, and a small smile on his slightly agape plump pink lips. I'm sure if they could could they'd be starin down at me with hearts in their eyes right now.

I can't be more relieved when he slides his dick out, wiping the remaining cum off from his tip on my tongue before stuffing himself into his jeans. I savor a few gulps of air as he pulls me to my feet. Daddy kisses my mouth messily, smacking my ass sharply and tellin me to go say goodbye to our friends.

Yeah the fuck right, with sticky tracks of pre cum smeared allover my God damn face? I can barely contain my eye roll as I turn to walk away. Even if my juices are streamin out my pussy down my leg, ima make em work for their next nut. So I'm out. It's so fuckin easy to pretend to head their way before makin a break for the exit.

"Anybody that recorded that, if I see that shit online or anyone talks shit to my fuckin girl, it's up. Bet on that." Jordan threatens nearby party goers before transitioning, taking confident measured steps toward my hasty retreat.

A/N: The link provided at the beginning of the story is to a music video on YouTube; its the song I envisioned while writing the fic. It's not needed to read it, it's just a lil peek inside the authors head.

[whyse7vn]

JUNGKOOK GETS ROBBED -

[ot7 x reader]

one direction 😜

8 participants — 8 online

———————————

jin: don’t laugh but

y/n: laughing

jin: fuck you

hobi: but what?

jin: found a grey hair today

namjoon: young in spirit !

y/n: can i be on your will?

jungkook: still love you bro 💜

jimin: he cried for an hour

y/n: LMAO

jin: and you dare ask to be on my will ?

y/n: 🥰🥰🥰

jungkook: have you guys listened to the song mad at disney ?

tae: bye

hobi: …

namjoon: are you okay now jin?

jin: i knew you were my favourite for a reason namjoon !!!!

i’m ok … i’m coping i guess there is not much i can do

i’m just gonna sit here and accept death as it comes

just know namjoon your name is on first line in my will ❤️

namjoon: thanks?

jin: you are most welcome

tae: can i be visual now?

jin: no.

anyways y/n…

y/n: OMG ME FOR VISUAL JIN IM HONOURED 🙈🙈🙈

jin: again no.

yoongi: lol

jin: y/n i fear we are going to have to reproduce to save my bloodline and fill my gap in the group

y/n: YOU FEAR ???

jin: i mean ur not the best person to reproduce with…

y/n: what’s that supposed to mean ??

jin: i said what i said.

y/n: i’ll have you find i’m a GREAT person to reproduce with

jin: really?

y/n: really

jin: i’ll guess you’ll have to prove me wrong.

yoongi: gross

tae: omg wait… i’m dying too

y/n it’s the only way

save the kim bloodline

jungkook: im mad at disney disney

namjoon: bro…

jungkook: they tricked me tricked me 😔

y/n: jay park so ugly omg

hobi: i pass the mic pass the mic

jungkook: wtf don’t talk about my bff like that

jimin: BFF 😨⁉️

tae: god forbid…

yoongi: hell naw 😟

namjoon: oh

y/n: and that’s your problem….

always saying dumb shit that make me want to hit you

jin: did he not steal from you? or did someone make that up

jungkook: moving on lol

y/n: NO FUCKING WAYHXJXJDMFJCJKX

jimin: LMWOSOSOSO NOT HIM REALLY STEALING KNGSGHDNX

yoongi: LMAO

hobi: 😭😭😭😭😭

jungkook: it’s not even that funny it was an accident.

namjoon: what did he steal?

jungkook: just some headphones nothing major

namjoon: the studio ones?

jungkook: yeah he said he’ll bring them back they accidentally fell into this bag

yoongi: are you fucking dumb?

namjoon: did you get them back?

jungkook: he says been really busy lately

y/n: LNASKSOODODOFKCKDKCKCKX

hobi: wow…

jimin: you deserve it idc

tae: PLSNSJSJJXJDJXJXK

jin: 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

jungkook: shut up

y/n: you ain’t never getting them shits back so sorry my love

yoongi: fr

jimin: i hate enhypen

y/n: omg ?!

tae: same lol

yoongi: who

hobi: fever fever fever

namjoon: what did they do to you?

hobi: love them

jimin: idk i just felt like being a hater

namjoon: ok??

y/n: sunoo is great

jimin: no fuck him

y/n: fuck you

hobi: do you think enhypen hates us?

jin: we are bts ofc they don’t tf

tae: true

namjoon: …

jin: what

sorry i didn’t lie

y/n: no comment.

yoongi: also no comment.

jin: also no comment

hobi: ???

namjoon: you made your comment already jin?

jin: no

namjoon: whatever

tae: i stand by what i said

jimin: i honestly couldn’t give a single fuck about what they think

y/n: omg who crawled up ur ass today

jimin: 🧍🏻‍♂️

yoongi: crazy

jungkook: i think we should give jay park a chance guys

jimin: bye.

tae: peace ✌🏼

y/n: …

hobi: out.

namjoon: tired of this bs

yoongi: 👋🏻

jin: bitch.

…

im back omg ???? this is literally just a draft that i never finished that’s why it sucks so bad 😭😭 freeing everything from my drafts so stay tuned for that !!!

[ballsgrabber69]

Bottomzai vs Bottomchuu

They're switches. Chuuya's mainly the bottom and Dazai's mainly the top. Straight into my point. But this is about bottom Chuuya since I like it more. How tf do y'all see Dazai as a pillow princess?? Neither of them are pillow princesses. But personally, I think that Chuuya as the bottom is better. Y'all prefer the "feminine girly pillow princess bottomzai" when that mf is so arrogant, cocky and teasing to Chuuya while Chuuya gets flustered by him so fast. Yeah Chuuya has anger problems, but he's soft as HELL around Dazai. And the height difference?? Chuuya isn't gonna go top someone a whole mile taller than him unless he's drunk or something. People say Chuuya isn't soft?? Put him by dogs, children, Kouyou maybe and possibly Dazai himself. Dazai does actually call himself a princess and shit, but dawg. He still dominates Chuuya. 💀. If you get topped by someone a whole mile shorter than you, that shit's embarrassing.. And then the bottomzai fans bash the bottom Chuuya fans- Bitch don't make me get on yalls case. I prefer bottom Chuuya but period I guess. Lmao when it comes to my opinions, I go OFF. And bottom Dazai, that guy would be annoying and Soukoku would just give up on bottomzai. Seme Dazai x Uke Chuuya. I don't care. NAW AND CHUUYA'S EDUCATIONAL SOUNDS MAKES BOTTOMCHUU HALF CANON. The bottomzai fans that don't bash people for not liking bottomzai, I love you guys so much 💖. I know it's an anime and I'm kinda young to be arguing about gay sex but who cares tbh. AND THE FERAL BOTTOMZAI FANS, I DARE YOU TO COME SAY SOME CRAZY SHIT BECAUSE I'M A FERAL BOTTOMCHUU FAN.

Actually, I'm feral for Chuuya in general. Fuck Dazai ❤.

And this is the first thing I do on Tumblr 💀.