#mark oneshots

[ronjunnie]

MARK FIC RECOMMENDATIONS

SERIES

arcane

case oasis

ONESHOTS

launch (25k)

Perils Brewing (m) (16.9k)

mark lee's gluttony (13.5k)

the hopeless romantic (12.8k)

seasons (7.9k)

back to sleep (730)

TIMESTAMPS

20:20 pm

[ooshu]

when mark was six, he told you he loved you.

you never really grasped what ‘love’ meant during those early, innocent times. your parents say they love you whenever you bid goodbyes going to school. your grandma used to tell you she loves you because you’ve been a good kid. so you told him “i love you, too!” with a grin plastered on your face, and mark felt his face go warm, a slightly pink flush on both of his cheeks.

when mark was eight, he said he wanted to be a writer.

he fully pledged it in his middle school yearbook a year before. an author, he wrote. you challenged him a bit. “write something for me then!”. young mark, full of determination, handed you a piece of paper at the end of the class. Roses are reds, Violets are Blue, …… I guess …… I love you ! - it was unfinished. cue the excessive punctuation marks and misplaced capitalization of letters, too. it was valentine’s day. and when the whole class knew mark loved you, he never got away with the teasing. you still had no idea what it meant, though.

when mark was twelve, “i’m gonna be famous!”, he shouted to the whole world.

you saw him pick up the guitar that he borrowed from his dad. he flicked a few strings. “congratulations, mark!”, you said. “thanks.”, replied. “what’s wrong?”, you saw how his smile slowly turned into a bit of a frown. “i’m going away,” he said. you patted him on the shoulder, “my mom said we’re all meant to, mark.”. oh, you thought, how early was it for you both to know the concept of separation. how unfortunate it is, sometimes, to be needing to grow up early.

when mark was sixteen, he took a good glance of a glimpse of his future.

flashing lights, cheering crowds, fans following him around—the fame he has worked for four years—the dog days, the sacrifices, the longing for familiarity in a city of uncertainties and foreign—are finally going to pay off. his cheeks hurt from smiling. he was more focused than ever, like a hungry animal preying for success. “i always knew you were made for somewhere else”, you thought while seeing the news around home that mark is on his way to making his name.

but as years passed by like a blink of an eye, mark finally had the chance to rest, to go somewhere. but he didn’t know where else to go. from living in toronto, to vancouver, to some few years somewhere in queens, and now, in unfamiliar cities he wake up to, he never had the chance to sit still and think of this: he never knew what home felt like.

when mark was nineteen, he made his way to his old house.

relatives greeted him. old smiles and familiar warmth overwhelmed mark. oh, how lovely it is to grasp a sense of familiarity. trains and 156 buses, his smile beamed when he reminisced middle school. “remember when…”, it was all his tongue could say. laughter filled the dining area where he and his siblings often had their silly whip cream-face-smearing fight, but his joy slightly faltered when he passed by an abandoned house, just five blocks away from his house. an abandoned, almost small-framed bicycle sits on the front porch. it was the bicycle you would ride whenever mark knocks at your very doorstep to go to the nearest town and buy potato chips.

he remembers when he was thirteen and packing for his flight the next day, he asked you: “do you think we’d forget each other?”

“i think you would.”, you replied.

“i would never.” mark reassured you, but you’ve heard stories of your mom and how her college best friend suddenly fell apart. nothing in particular, it’s just life and how we go separate ways—it’s inevitable. people say i love yous to their loved ones, reassuring them the warmth and proximity will stay, but as the sun rises, for mark, there will be great emptiness as he is forced to remove himself and start anew.

“why do you think so?”

“because i love you.”

and for you, love has changed its definition instantly. it was a time when a great consciousness arise. you understood how he truly meant all these years. you said it back as you also meant every single syllable. love, for mark, was meant to be fireworks and giggles. but by the time he boarded the plane, you kissed his cheek, his first love started and ended on the very same day.

now, mark, twenty-three, almost has it all.

he has been writing for years. he isn’t still an author, as he has told you, but sure what he writes comes along with the melodies he produces with his co-artists. he has been contented with his lifestyle, going to different countries, and working with unpredictable schedules. sure, he has established a name in the industry, working like a mad dog, but something still bothers him inside, something missing, lacking.

tonight, he writes in a local coffee shop as he waits for his manager to arrive, a practice that keeps his feet on the ground. scribbles, blurbs, drafts of lyrics, all embedded in his journal—and after a while of connecting the dots to construct who he really is and where he would position himself in the vast ocean of possibilities, he may have finally struck something that hits closer to his definition of home.

i just wanted you to know, mark writes to you, who have always been his muse through and through, to tell you that i have been happy during our years together, that i have never been so happy despite what i have gone through and achieved, and that i already know i will never be so happy again.

and as mark closes his messy, worn-out black journal, the bells rang as someone entered the door.

mark watches you walk in and towards the counter. he would have so many questions as to why you are here and when you have arrived. but reserve it for later because as you find a table you could sit in, you locked your eyes with his—so familiar, so distinct, so… inviting. almost home.

lost for words, mark stared at you. blinking like a fool. he must be dreaming.

but the doubts of the fantasy dissipated.

“hey, stranger.”, you said. “do you think we still know each other?”

a smile so warm, so loving, proximity that is so close—these are things he has lost over the years, now sitting in front of him, embodied by the epitome of his long lost love.

and mark always firmly believed in this, and today, he was never betrayed by his beloved: fate.

home, all along—he thought, is wherever i’m with you.

[thewonandonly]

20:40 — we were a sonata, thanks to tight-lipped fathers, yeah, living under that was hard, but i loved you harder. | high school in jakarta by NIKI

spiderman!mark pulls the mask from his face, panting heavily as he grabbed the second pair of clothes stuffed into his backpack webbed against the fire escape of the restaurant the two of you were supposed to meet.

"shit, i'm late, i'm late, i'm late." he swore, tying the tie quickly before he climbed down the side of the wall, landing on his feet in an alleyway and running around to the front door of the restaurant.

in his hurry, he pulled himself back a bit, slowing down to catch his breath, greeting the hostess and walks past, as if he owned the building.

he saw you sitting at the table, pulling out the chair to sit across from you, "oh, look who showed up." you mumbled, using the straw to poke at the ice cubes at the bottom of the glass.

mark sighed, throwing the napkin on his lap, "i know, i'm late." he held his hands up in defense, "i got held up."

you scoffed, "mark, i get it, you're busy with work, but you made this commitment when we started college."

mark rubbed his eyes, letting another sigh escape his lips, "you're right. i'm sorry."

you smiled, "thank you." you grabbed his hand across the table, "i ordered you your favorite, i'm still waiting for it to come out."

"thank you, baby." he smiled.

lights echoed off the reflective buildings and through the restaurant's windows. all patrons turned to look at lights as the sirens screamed.

mark knew that if he had left his seat in the moment, he'd have hell to pay from your wrath.

"what's going on?" you questioned, standing up before mark held his hand out to have you sit.

looking up at him, mark wandered out the door, past the building.

you sighed, following him out after dropping the cash on the table. your coat only did so much, your cheeks burning as the cold wind hit them.

and as you made it around the corner of the restaurant, a suit of red and blue zipped past you, the webs remaining behind from the hero.

copyright © 2022 the-wonandonly. all rights reserved.

[messylustt]

i need hobie brown smut i can’t find any 😭🙏 hes a rockstar so i’m pretty sure those fingers are …. 😍😍

practice — hobie brown. longer name. hobie using your pussy for band practice. they areeee tho. god.

he’d be sitting on a comfy chair or couch, legs spread (of course), and he’d be ushering you over by a slight backwards tilt to his head. thinking all is innocent you walk over, bouncing onto the couch beside him. hobie immediately grabs your legs which had bent slightly together, as he straightens them over his lap, his large hands practically wrapping around both calves (they are big enough, yes).

“how’d practice go?” you ask, shifting to get slightly more comfortable. “I could practically hear your guitar from a million rooms down — ” but your words drift off upon feeling his hands glide up your leg, coming to a stop by your bare thighs (you being in a skirt). you intake air as hobie yanks you closer to him by your thighs, slightly spreading them in the process.

you’re now practically draped over him having to push up slightly on your elbows as you stare at him from lower on the couch. “it was alrigh’…” his hand began to lead under your skirt all while keeping eye contact with your fluttering eyes. “if ya heard it that far away, then mission accomplished.” your breathing hitches as hobie’s ringed fingers disappear under your skirt, away from your vision, as he slowly brushes over your covered pussy, making your hips jolt.

“but apparently I need practice…” he hums, beginning to draw patterns over your clit as your chest begins to heave. “my fingers need to be quicker to get a certain tempo…” now he’s moving your panties aside as he slides the tips of his fingers through your wetness. “thanks, babe…ya all prepared for me.”

and then he’s thrusting two long fingers into your cunt making your breathing hitch as your hips shift. “hobie…”

“mm…” he watches as his fingers go in and out your pretty hole. “ya can help me get better…righ’?” his thrusts are moving quicker now, as his other hand keeps your thighs spread apart. “let me know if my speed is improving.” you’re now a whimpering mess as your head knocks back, his thrusts now at an ungodly pace as his thumb moves to rub circles on your clit.

“no no…i need to you to see. to let me know how i’m doing…” his free hand moved to pull your chin back. “watch.” your pussy is clenching around his fingers, as the speed makes your entire body hum, his thumb somehow flicking your clit perfectly. and as your orgasm crashes over you, hobie hums to himself, slowing the pace a fraction, but not pulling out.

“see…i’m already getting better…you really are helping me improve…” his thrusts quicken up again, making you whine in overstimulation. “shh…this technique is working…i can’t stop my practice now…”

© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.

[mallowsweetmiri]

Annabeth: *kisses percy*

Percy: *explodes an entire volcano*

Annabeth: *getting pulled into hell by a spider*

Percy: *willingly jumps into Tartarus*

Annabeth: *says she’s going somewhere slightly dangerous*

Percy: *explodes all the toilets*

This boy is psycho for Annabeth.

[ryozaki21]

After You - N.JM

1/4 diary of the heartbreakers

summary: ➸ ♡ Na Jaemin had it easy. Loved by everybody, the man of everyone's dream. He's a perfect mix of a charmer and a player. Girls begged to be his, and he loved every part of it. Life used to be so fucking perfect for him. Then comes you. You're like an old book, ink fading, cover tearing, but he swears you're worth the read. Before you, life was easy. After you? He wasn't so sure.

"Break my heart, and you'll only find yourself inside."

GENRE: Angst, Smut, Fluff, Mature themes

WARNINGS: Minors DNI, Explicit sexual content, Language, Mental Illness, Drugs/Alcohol usage, Addiction, toxic!reader, fuckboy!Jaemin (but still a sweetheart)

WC: 19k (I got carried away, lol)

DISCLAIMER: This story is purely fanfiction. Only the names of the Idols are used, and does not reflect on them in real life. There's no way in any shape of form that they are like this in person, because I MADE IT UP. I don't personally know them. DO NOT STEAL / TRANSLATE / MODIFY. This is my work and I don't appreciate people stealing it. Thank you.

Enjoy reading! -ryo

//////////////////////

"Look who finally decides to show up," Jeno welcomed Jaemin with open arms, Haechan and Renjun following in pursuit.

"Come on, I just saw you guys about a week ago. Don't be dramatic." Jaemin loosened his tie, sat at the vacant seat beside Renjun.

"No Yeri today?" Haechan smirked, obviously mocking Jaemin.

"She has plans with her friends," Jaemin wants to shift the topic quickly, not wanting to be the center of attention for so long.

"Are you sure its not because she hates us?" Renjun looked at Jaemin with his brow raised.

"She hates everyone." Jaemin grabbed the flute glass in front of him as he saw the waiter come by with champagne.

"No offense, Jaemin, but I hate that her too." Haechan, eating the garlic bread. Jaemin rolled his eyes.

"Makes two of us." Jeno chimed in, drinking his champagne aswell. Jaemin didn't say anything, waiting for Renjun's addition to his girlfriend's hate train.

"All of us hate her, actually. Sorry man but your girl is literally the reincarnation of the devil." Renjun.

"You guys done? I know she isn't the best but she's still my girlfriend?" Jaemin, like the other times his friends tell him how horrible his girlfriend is, try to defend her even tho he knows that they're partly right.

"Yeah, we know. One of the mysteries even Sherlock Holmes can't fucking solve." Haechan chuckled. Jaemin let out a sigh and drank the champagne in one shot. He barely gets a break from Yeri, and when he does, his friends still mentions her name in every conversation they have.

"She disrespects everyone, literally went out with you just to show you off to her friends. I don't understand why you're still with her." Jeno rants, trying to make Jaemin understand. He doesn't mean to drag Yeri, but Jeno cannot understand how the likes of Jaemin, will go out with Yeri who treats him like shit.

"No shit, dude. Neither do I." Jaemin admitted, leaning back on his chair before dragging his hands through his hair.

"How about Karina? She's great, you went out with her a few times, right?" Haechan.

Jaemin, for the ninth time this night, rolled his eyes. "She moved to Paris."

"Joy? The girl you took to Haechan's birthday?" Renjun, pulling up a picture of Joy he searched on instagram, just to show to Jaemin.

"Engaged to Sungjae." Jeno answered that one, Sungjae being one of his acquiantances.

"Oh, I know this girl from Busan--"

"Can we not talk about my fucking love life?! Y'all are just stressing me out, God damn." Jaemin massaged his temples, just wanting a breather. Before he went here, he already had an argument with Yeri.

"Chill, man. Fine.. jeez. Just wanted you to know your options." Haechan looks away and shrugged his shoulders. To be fair, his intent was truly innocent. They just wanted their friend to live a happy life.

As per Jaemin's wish, they moved on and changed the topic to something else. After a few drinks, Jaemin started to let loose.

He wondered about a lot of things. One of which is on how he ended up here. Stuck in a relationship he doesn't really want anymore. Seeing his friends and how happy they are really hits something inside Jaemin. When will he find that? Will he even find that?

Just like the other nights Jaemin drinks himself to slumber, a few glasses in and he starts to think of something so dangerous yet so good. Something forbidden, something he would probably regret. He thinks of you.

Jaemin's greatest what if. You were like a fever dream, a memory he would cherish forever. No one can compare to the beauty hold. You were Jaemin's drug, so captivating, yet so vicious.

He wondered where you are. Are you doing fine? Are you happy?

Sometimes Jaemin hopes you still think of him. That his relevance in your life, although it was short, still lingers in your mind once in a while.

And the memories you and him had, even though it was temporary, Jaemin wishes it was enough for him to believe that you'll meet again.

Jaemin met a lot of pretty girls. All of them, actually. Yeri, despite her frowned upon attitude, was actually beautiful. That's what drove Jaemin to ask her out in the first place. He just wasn't aware of the other things that comes with it. No one can deny the beauty that Yeri holds, and even tho it contrasts his friends opinions, they know that Yeri is still one of the prettiest girl Jaemin had.

But was she the most gorgeous? No. Because there was you. They all fall behind, after you.

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

The first time he saw you was at the school's cafeteria. You're an art student which he could clearly tell from the messy pencil on your bun as you ate with a friend at the back of the canteen. He knew that friend, Jeonghan, because.. he might've slept with his sister. He still couldn't remember tho, he was stupidly drunk that time.

"Who's that with Jeonghan?" Jaemin asked, still his eyes not leaving your face. As corny as it sounds, everyone's faces blurred out when he saw you.

"That's Jiho's bestfriend? I think? Wait, isn't Jiho that one chick you banged last week?" Haechan, the resident insider was the one to answer. Jaemin mentally cursed himself. You're Jiho's bestfriend. Usually that doesn't matter to Jaemin but somehow he felt some sort of guilt into taking an interest with you. Inevitably, you'll know what happened with Jiho and Jaemin, and you'll definitely see Jaemin as this asshole who slept with your bestfriend.

"Everybody knows that he slept with her, dude." Jeno chimed in, smirking.

"More like, everybody heard." Renjun followed, which earned a hefty laugh from his group of friends. Usually, Jaemin would respond with a strong punch in the arm but he was still in a dilemma on how he should approach you without giving off an asshole vibe in him.

Jaemin came up with a plan. Not a good one, but still, a plan. He would casually pass the Arts building, specifically where you usually hang out which was at the Art studio at the top floor, (don't ask him how he found out-- he has his ways) and just ask you where the exit to the building is since he never really got around this part of the university.

His plan sounded good, and just to be assured, he asked Haechan. Which wasn't a very good choice but the way Haechan got around the girls in the university, he deserved some credit. In typical Lee Haechan way he responded, "That'd totally work, dude. I don't know how that would go wrong."

Well, Jaemin now know how it would go fucking wrong.

As the plan goes, he reaches the top floor of the building and walked towards the Art studio at 5pm, because according to his sources, you like to stay after class to do your project on the Art studio. Again, don't ask Jaemin how he got those information. Which is proven to be credible, because he did find you sketching on a canvas by yourself. He could hear a faint music playing on the studio as you sketch, which Jaemin could tell was a portrait of a lady.

He cleared his throat, as he opened the door. Just like in his script, he spoke,

"Hey, uh, excuse me? I've been finding the exit from this building and uhm, I just can't. Can you-- uhm," Okay, fine, Jaemin did fuck that one up. But how can he not, when you turned around so majestically with the golden sunray perfetcly hitting your face which gave Jaemin a full view of your beauty?

"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" You stood up, walking towards the speaker and turned it off.

"You know me?" Jaemin asked a dumb question. Everybody knows who he is. He's a fucking famous-- wait, no, he's just famous for fucking. That's it.

"Jiho and all the other girls around this place can't stop talking about how big your dick is, so I'd like to think I'm familiar with you, yes." Sarcasm fit perfectly with you, Jaemin thought. Although, he did not expect you to be this harsh given your soft exterior, nonetheless, he still found you pretty.

"Uh, that's uhm-- not the point, I need to find the exit." Stick to the plan, stupid. Jaemin had thought.

What surprises him even more was your sudden burst of laughter. What's so funny? Embarassment started to fill Jaemin, finding the whole situation dumb and stupid. Why are you laughing at him? This is the first time Jaemin felt this. Usually, girls are all over him, why are you laughing at him like he's some stupid idiot?

"Do you realize that if you're trying to find the exit, you go down the building, not the top floor?" At that exact moment, Jaemin wanted to bury himself alive.

--

"Dude, I didn't think you would fumble this bad." Jeno couldn't hold his laughter after Jaemin told him what had occured in the Art studio. There was only Renjun, Jeno and Jaemin in the dorm today, Haechan was steering out of Jaemin's view eversince he received a threat from his friend, quote, 'I'm gonna burn your hair off your scalp, Lee Haechan'

"You just turned around and left? Are you serious?" Renjun was more like dumbfounded. He expected more from Jaemin, being infamous in their little friendgroup for being a lowkey manwhore. He could not believe Jaemin could act so-- foolish?

"I didn't know what to say or do, bro. This is Haechan's fault, fuck!" Jaemin looked like a prepubescent teen screaming into his pillow. A couple leg-flailing and he'd successfully portray a thirteen yearold boy.

"This one's on you. You know damn well Haechan could pull that shit off with his over confident ass. Whats with this girl anyways?" Jeno asked, with little to no care about whatever Jaemin answered. He already knew you were Jaemin's type.

"You know Jaemin and his thing for innocent girls, Jeno. Are you not with him for the last seven years?" Renjun stated, which Jeno just nodded and shrugged.

"But the way she shut you down, I wouldn't say she's too innocent." Jeno had the other two thinking. Yes, with your soft brown hair and cute features, especially your love for art, you look like the stereotypical good girl that captured Jaemin's eyes. But your encounter says otherwise. No good girl can resist Na Jaemin. Everybody knows that.

Na Jaemin, contrary to his friend's beliefs, is the recent most popular man in his school. All of them were, but every student that knows him, (which is everyone) Na Jaemin is number one in his little friendgroup. He's the perfect balance between a player and a charmer.

Nobody hated the guy, they all liked him. Had the title of Prom King for four consecutive years, and has a squeaky clean reputation. Oh, don't get him wrong tho, he's a manwhore, still. Its just that every girl he has been with doesn't have any bad thing to say about the guy. He's got a great dick and even better personality. Word got around that even guys wouldn't mind if he slept with their girlfriends. That's how loved Jaemin is around the campus. He has a way with words, that once Jaemin calls quits on a girl, that girl would even say "Thank you."

Jaemin likes to think he's just being nice, but Haechan calls him a professional manipulator and gaslighter. Which if you do see it in a technical way, Jaemin's sweet words does affect the way girls interpret his intentions. Because in all honesty, he's just fucking and ghosting. But with a couple of I'm sorry's or Sweetheart's or maybe even a little bit of 'You don't deserve a man like me,' Jaemin easily could bounce out everytime.

"Also, why have we not heard about her? I mean, a face like that? Its impossible that she hadn't shown Haechan's radar." Renjun stated. Its true, it does feel weird that none of them knew who you were, specially Haechan. He's quite literally the hot girl radar and you definitely qualified as one. Its rate that Haechan never made a move on you, or even talked to you.

"Maybe she's really weird or has like a third nipple." Jeno sounds genuine, which was even worse. Jaemin couldn't help but question how is this man his best friend.

"Can you not be a twelve year-old?" Jaemin, as he threw a cushion over Jeno's side.

"Anyways, let's go back to Jaemin being a stupid idiot,"

--

["You got it?"] Renjun's voice was heard through the phone.

"Yes, you bitch. Now once I get home, I expect my beer and chicken laid in my table perfectly, or I'm burning your book." Its almost 7pm and almost everyone had already left the campus but Jaemin. Renjun had asked him to fetch his book from a friend, because Jaemin is the only one staying in the campus this late. For the reason being, well, he had a little make out sesh after his last class with Jiho.

Jaemin wasn't intentionally doing it just to spite you, its just Jiho was a great kisser. And maybe to get information about you, just a little. But that did not happen because he did not have the chance to actually talk to her about you as his mouth was a little preoccupied.

As he walked through the hallway, a door suddenly opened, which revealed you, hair dishevelled and your shirt was wrinkled. He knew that posture too well, out of all people, he's the one most familiar of it. You just did the nasty with someone.

In the school grounds? Jaemin scoffs. He was about to approach you when another body also came out of the room.

No way. No fucking way! Jaemin's eyes went wild, his jaw slowly parts as he saw who it was. He quickly hides behind one of the lockers to avoid you seeing him, only peeking his head a bit to confirm what he just saw.

Nurse Suh. You're sleeping with the school nurse. Jaemin was utterly shocked, as he contemplated on what he should do next. You're definitely not the innocent and soft girl he thought you would be, you're so far from it. And as far as he knows, Nurse Suh has a girlfriend! And not to mention, it's illegal!

"Nurse Suh?!" The three of his friends couldn't believe it either. Jaemin just could not keep the information to himself. He knew he could trust his friends.

"I mean, yes he's hot but isn't he like 34?" Jeno questioned.

"Dumbass, he's only 27. Him and my older brother are friends." Haechan said, then quickly looking back at Jaemin.

"And she's what, 22? I don't see anything wrong here." Haechan shrugged. Of course, out of all of them, Haechan would find this situation fine. He had slept with a teacher before, and called it his 'great awakening'.

"He has a girlfriend, you fucking idiot." Renjun said, hitting Haechan in the back of the head.

"So? You gotta do what you gotta do, man. Honestly, if I was Nurse Suh, I would tap it too." Followed by a playful chuckle, Haechan got another slap in the back of the head, this time, from Jeno.

"Stop hitting me! I need to protect my braincells, I need to pass the test tomorrow, you assholes." Haechan whined, massaging his head.

"Wait, Haechan, did you not know her before?" It was Jaemin's turn to ask, genuinely curious on why Haechan never made a move on you.

Haechan is basically like Jaemin, but even more evil. Sure, they're both manwhores but Jaemin leaves nicely. As to Haechan, he would leave without saying a word and pretend to not know you the next day. While Jaemin would receive love letters, Haechan receives death threats and some hex put on him. Its not like he's bad in bed, because if he is, he wouldn't be able to get his dick wet as frequent as he is now. It's because Haechan does not care for people's feelings.

"I did, I know who she was." Haechan shrugged. All three of them looked at him.

"Why didn't you.. like... tell me about that?" Jaemin's voice was small, a bit shy with what he just said.

"Because It's kinda funny when you get turned down." Haechan had a smile on his face whilst he said it. Jeno shook his head and Renjun just scoffed.

"Please tell me you're joking." Renjun. The boy laughed even more louder while shaking his head and before he knows, a flying cushion came straight to his face. But it didn't stop Haechan from smiling like an idiot.

"You know what's ridiculous, Haechan? That fucking faded out starwars shirt, because I'm gonna make you eat it you fucker!--" Jaemin fought back, reaching out for his friend but Haechan quickly moved away from him

"I'm sorry, Jaeminnie-- but I did try to flirt with her but she's cold as ice, man. And you all know how persistent I am so when me, Lee Haechan, gave up on a girl, you know that girl's impossible. And I heard that she never dates, well, I guess now I know why." Haechan explained himself but Jaemin is still annoyed and pissed.

"So you just let your friend get his ass handed to him? You should've told Jaem, man." Jeno.

"Admit it, It's kinda funny when Jaemin gets rejected. I mean, it almost never happens. And the one time it did, we're not even there to witness it." Haechan keeps smiling, pissing off Jaemin more, but his mind is else where.

---

"I had to say, I'm surprised you called me twice this week. Am I finally cracking your fuckboy code, Na Jaemin?" Jiho had a smirk on her face when he approached Jaemin at the closed off audiotorium in the science building.

"Can you sit down first?" Jaemin scooted a bit and gave space for Jiho to sit down. He has a whole different plan today, and although inviting the girl in his usual makeout spot almost always leads up to them hooking up, this time Jaemin is persistent on asking Jiho about you.

"This is weird. Aren't you taking my skirt off?" Jiho hesitantly sat beside the boy, expecting a kiss but instead, Jaemin has his brows furrowed and seemed bothered

"What? No. Not now. I just want to ask you something." Jaemin turned his body facing Jiho.

"You're being weird." Jiho leaned away a bit, still confused about the whole situation.

"You know y/n?" Jaemin goes straight to the point. Jiho had a visible shock in her face. She never expected your name to pop out from anyone's mouth, and especially not Jaemin's.

"Yes? Why?" Slowing her words, she inspected Jaemin's features.

"Nothing. Why haven't I seen her before?" The question Jaemin is most interested about.

"She's never gonna be interested with you, or anyone. Leave her alone." Jiho suddenly stood up, turned around and walked away as fast as she can, but not as fast as Jaemin.

Before she could even leave the auditorium, Jaemin got a hold of her wrist. "Why are you this weird about her?"

"I know you think you can woo her because you're Na Jaemin and you're a fucking playboy or some shit, but I'm telling you, not even as your hook up buddy, she's worse than you. So I suggest, as your friend, stay. away. from y/n."

---

"This is totally not weird. Yeah sure, I mean, we're just following a random girl walking down the street. Totally not weird." Renjun for one was scammed into doing this. Jaemin asked him to go with him and go buy some pants in the mall for a promise for Haidilao afterwards. Ofcourse Renjun is gonna agree, because he would never pass a free hotpot.

What Jaemin failed to say is that he has a little side quest on his itenirary for today. For someone who's unbothered most of the time, Jaemin is going insane thinking about the mystery that is you. And Jiho's outburst absolutely did not help at all.

"We're not following her. We're just y'know... happens to be in the same way as her." Jaemin knew what he was saying was bullshit, and that Renjun would never believe a word he says. But he would never admit that he's letting someone go and do cartwheel on his mind for almost two weeks now.

"Except we can't walk more than ten feet closer and we've been turning in the same corners as her for about thirty minutes." Sarcasm did not need to be noted.

Jaemin didn't listen and continued walking the same direction as you. This is definitely out of his character, but he has to know you. He's been intrigued enough to actually make an effort to atleast know who you were.

Suddenly, you turned left, into a busy cafe. "You promised me Haidilao, Na Jaemin. Not coffee!" Renjun started being a little irritated. He's hungry, exhausted and disappointed from Jaemin's fake promises. He doesn't need coffee right now, and hell, he's not gonna sit inside a cafe when he could have hotpot right now!

"Jesus, shut the fuck up!" Jaemin dug into his pocket and reached for his phone, typing for a minute and Renjun felt his own phone vibrated.

"Nice. I'll see you later, Sherlock Holmes." Jaemin sent Renjun money for hotpot, which quickly shifted the boy's mood.

"You're useless!" Jaemin yelled as Renjun walked away. "You love me!" Renjun replied with a smile as he skips away.

Jaemin hesitated a bit if he should enter the cafe. Is it too much just to suddenly show up where you are? No. This is the townsquare, students from his and your school are frequents here. It's not gonna be weird. Right, definitely.

The cafe is full packed, quite a line forming. There seems ro be no tables available, but Jaemin still decides to go inside. But as soon as he steps inside the cafe, his feet turned ice cold.

"Alright! I know, I'm sorry!" He sees you hurriedly putting on your apron, as another man seemingly upset with you. He quickly steps into the line of customers, and he just hopes that once he's on the counter, you would be the one serving him.

Jaemin thought he had time to calculate how he's gonna approach you, but the line was quickly moving, and he swear, he's fucking nervous. What if you didn't remember him? Or find him weird for being here?

As the last one in front of him turned to leave, he's finally infront of you. Unfortunately, you weren't looking and focused on the monitor in front of you.

"Uhm," he cleared his throat, trying to get your attention.

"What can I get you, sir?" Your customer service voice was obvious, and quite frankly, annoying. You smiled brightly at him, which he deemed so fake.

"Iced Americano, small." Jaemin's voice was deeper than usual, partly because he's nervous, and maybe because he wanted a cool guy impression.

"You literally followed me here just to get a small americano?" The humour in your voice makes Jaemin embarassed. Wide eyed, Jaemin feigned confusion, not wanting to be caught in 4k.

"I wasn't following y-you?" One thing Jaemin was bad at, was definitely lying. The way he stuttered at his last word says so.

You fought a smirk, again, leaving poor Jaemin feeling so little. "Sure, and the gravity isn't real."

"I swear, I'm not--"

"I'm on a break by 6:30. One small americano, right, sir?" You smiled at him, and Jaemin can fucking feel it. His heart skipping a beat.

"Make that large."

----

His drink already warm, ice all melted into one bland coffee, Jaemin started to feel pathetic. He's been sitting here, on the side of the cafe for almost three hours. He's realizing how stupid he is for doing all of this for someone who's not even that... special. He doesn't know you. You're pretty, yes, but there's always gonna be another girl who's prettier. Maybe its his dick thinking and doing the decisions earlier, but Jaemin saw his entire reputation go so far down if anybody knew he waited for you for three fucking hours. He never knew he could do all of this for a pussy he can easily get with other girls who would even beg for him.

Simmering in his own thoughts, Jaemin huffs and almost stood up to leave, Until he saw his phone, 6:29.

Shit, only one more minute wouldn't hurt anybody? No. Fuck her for playing hard to get. I'm Na fucking Jaemin! Who does she think she is?!

Just as Jaemin actually stood up, he saw you walking slowly towards him while undoing your apron, smile on your face making his knees literally weak that he had to sit down again.

"Leaving already?" You asked, sitting in front of him.

"I-I was just... stretching my legs." If his friends are here to hear the words he just said, he might just jump off a cliff.

"Sure. Now, tell me, Na Jaemin-ssi. What the fuck do you want from me?" Okay, now this, Jaemin did not expect this. Your words sounded harsh but your soft voice says otherwise. Being passive aggresive just makes Jaemin confused all over again.

But fuck it, you wanna play hard? Jaemin can do that. His patience wearing thin, he leaned back on the chair and smirked, almost like flipping on a switch in his aura.

"I want to fuck you." Jaemin didn't whisper, or even lower his voice. He said it so casually, and he noticed your confident stare flinch for a bit.

"I would, but I'm afraid you're not my type." Its like you two were having an asshole-off and seeing who's more cockier than the other. Jaemin isn't competitive, but he's not gonna lose this one.

"Don't be silly. I'm everybody's type." Jaemin definitely won by that line. Or so he thoughts.

"Judging from words on the streets, You're a walking STD. I think I'm gonna pass." This time, Jaemin's sure that you're just pissing him off. Maybe this is your way of playing hard to get, but Jaemin likes to play dirty.

"I fuck a lot but I'm clean, and even if that happens, I'm sure your little school nurse friend can help you." Visible shock in your face, its clear that Jaemin pushed your buttons. Your confident facade slowly shaking, as you gulped and blink trying to process what he just said.

But that didn't last long, only seconds after, you pulled back your smirk. "Oh, you've done some research, I see."

"Now come on, pretty girl. What do you say?" He started to feel it. He's cracking your hard shell.

"Are you really good in bed as they say you were?"

"Go on and ask your friend."

---

"Holy f-fuck, J-jaemin.. shit.. slowdown!" Your table aggressively banging as you bent over it, Jaemin mercilessly pistoning you from behind. His pants not even half way down his thighs, the lower hem of his shirt in between his teeth, showing his glistening abs flexing as he thrusts.

His left hand locking both yours behind your back, and his right hand keeping your head on the table, facing your side. Your mesh tights has been ripped, your skirt all the way up your stomach. One by one, your things that was left on the table started to fall on the ground, as Jaemin's aggressive thrusts forcefully moves the table on a rocking motion.

"Shi.. fuck, I'm coming.." Your hoarse voice was prominent, only motivates Jaemin to hit even harder. Only grunts and growls was heard from the boy, his moans blocked by his shirt between his teeth. Jaemin wasn't only fucking you, he's proving a point aswell. To you, and to himself.

He removes his hands from your head, allowing you to look at him from behind. His free hand brushed his hair backwards, still keeping his tempo. Sweat dripping, his thrusts started to stutter. He then grabbed your face, and pulled you to his chest. Letting go of the shirt in his lips, he whispered, "Come with me, sweetheart."

His hands finding your waist as he felt your walls tighten, an intense whine leaving your mouth as your leg shakes quietly. That triggered his own release, murmuring a few curse words as all his movements halts. Only heavy breathing was heard, everything else dead silent. He slowly pulls out, earning a moan from the both of you.

"That was.." You couldn't even finish, fixing your clothes, quickly sitting at one of your chairs on the table, afraid your knees might give out.

"Intense." Jaemin tucked himself on his pants as he sat down in front of you.

"Not bad," You smirked at him, trying to keep your composure. Jaemin smirked back, proud of himself.

"I thought I wasn't your type?"

"Gotta know what's all the fuss is about. I guess the cat died and curiousity wins." Out of breath, you suddenly picked something on the floor, and Jaemin notices that its a marker that had fell from the table.

"If you wanna do this again," you stared grabbing Jaemin's arms and writing your number on it. "...give me a call, yeah?"

"How about Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't wanna sound like a little whiny boy but he had to ask. Is she still going to continue seeing him?

"What about him?" You raised your brows at him.

"Won't he be mad?" Jaemin can see the laugh you held in, before shaking your head.

"We're not in a relationship, and will never be. Same goes to you. We just fuck and go. I'm clean, I hope you are too, and we're not passing the line of being each other's fuck buddy. None of that corny shit, or you're out. I hope you understand, Jaeminnie, you're just a good dick with a pretty face." Your soft face does not match the words you just spilled out. And Jaemin thinks he's hit the jackpot.

No commitments? Just good sex? With you? He thinks he's in heaven. He can't wait to tell the boys about this.

If Jaemin was in the movies, he would've fisted the air and smiled like an idiot.

"Here's to good sex?" Jaemin offers his hand, which you gladly accepted. "Good sex indeed."

---

Jaemin never minded what day it is. Just as long as he did what he needs to do today, he's fine. Tomorrow will have to wait. But eversince you, suddenly he felt impatient and counted the days until he saw you again.

After a few weeks, Jaemin and you saw each other twice a week, mostly Thursdays and Sundays, the days where your schedules matched. Jaemin never knew he would be stuck with one girl for this long, but damn. You're too good. You keep Jaemin on his toes every time he sees you. You were like a gift, waiting to be opened everytime. The excitement and the thrill always feels brand new. And Jaemin would never admit it, but every week, he'd hope the other days go by quickly and wishes it was Thursday again.

"He's smiling like a creep again, Jeno! What the fuck is up with your bestfriend?!" Haechan dramatically hid behind Jeno as Jaemin walked inside their little hang out spot, the old elementay library that became abandoned throughout the renovations.

"He's apparently getting the best pussy in the campus." Jeno shrugged and pushed Haechan away before he plopped himself down the couch.

"You're banging Im Hayeon?" Haechan widen his eyes as he strides towards Jaemin.

"No, dimwit. He's fucking y/n." Renjun, unbothered as usual as he continued drawing in his iPad.

"No way-- no fucking way!" Haechan gasps, grabbing Jaemin's shoulder as he shook it. Jaemin slaps away Haechan's hands and pushed him aside to sit beside Jeno.

"Shut up, Haechan. You're being dramatic." Jaemin pulled out his phone, hoping he would see your name pop up. Surprisingly, nothing but social media notifications greeted him, message requests and follows from people he doesn't know. He checked what time it is, 2:45pm.

Okay. Its still early. She'll text later.

"In all seriousness, dude, do you guys talk? like aside from doing it-- I mean." Jeno's tone was unusual. It's like he's being careful about something, or he wants to say something.

"Yeah? The fuck? D'you think we just fuck and go? Of couse we talk. Why?" Jaemin noticed Jeno's way of talking, turning his whole body towards his bestfriend.

"She tell you something about her?" This time, Renjun and Haechan leaned in.

"Get to the point, man." Jaemin.

"Nah, cuz the girl I was with last night told me that she's really... uh, popular at her previous school." Jeno, knowing the whole context, winced at the word 'popular'.

"What do you mean?" Jaemin's smile when he came here was no longer visible, replacing it with a frown as his brows creased in nervousness.

"I don't know-- man, I think you just... ask her, y'know?" Jeno wasn't comfortable sharing the information he had, but he knew Jaemin needs to know. But he wasn't sure if he's in the place to tell it.

But Haechan did not give a fuck. He's intrigued, and before they knew it, he's deep inside his phone texting someone.

"What are you doing?" Renjun asked.

"Since Jeno is being a pussy and won't share, I'm finding it out." And a second before Haechan could even type another letter, Jeno grabbed his phone away.

"Don't! Don't fucking search it. We should respect her, man. She's still a girl and I heard it was taken down---"

Haechan gasped even louder, even breathing out an "oh my god", He didn't say it out loud but the four of them were thinking the same thing.

"Holy fuck, she has a sex tape?!" Haechan, ofcourse was the first one to break the silence.

And once again, you surprised Jaemin.

---

"I'm famished, god damn." You sat beside Jaemin on your old couch, digging a spoon on your bowl of cereal. Your top barely even buttoned, you started eating a spoonfull after another.

"Slow down, you'll--" before Jaemin even finishes, you caught something in your throat and coughed almost everything in your mouth.

"What did i tell you? Aish-" Jaemin quickly then grabbed the tissue beside the couch and started to wipe your face. He grabbed the bowl from you, putting it aside and wiping some of the milk that had spilled on you.

He then stood up and walked towards your kitchen, as if he owns the place. Next thing you know, he comes back with a glass of water in his hands.

"Thank you," you managed to blurt out in the middle of your coughing and drank the water.

"I thought you didn't have a gag reflex the way you sucked my dick earlier," Jaemin joked, earning a playful slap in his shoulder from you.

"Shut up, movies starting." Jaemin didn't give a single fuck about the movie playing on screen. Haechan's voice keeps ringing in his ear, and as much as he wanted to stay out of it and respect your privacy, something in him wants to know. Its like an itch wanting to be scratched.

"Tom Holland's like the perfect spiderm-- Jaemin?" The boy's trance was interrupted when you call his name. He didn't realize that he was staring off to nothing instead of watching the movie he picked.

"Yeah?" Jaemin blinked thrice before looking at you, your eyes peaked interest as you examined his face.

"You're out of it, what're you thinking?" You paused the movie, moving your body to fully face him.

Jaemin can't wait. He has to know. "Just curious, where did you say your last school is?" He hoped his question wasn't too obvious.

"I didn't say anything?" Okay, hold up. Plan backfired. Fuck!

"What? I-I swear you told me, like, last time? Sacre--"

"Sacred Heart. Yeah. And no, I didn't tell you about it." Like the many times, Jaemin was nervous. Again. You make him so.. unlike himself. What the fuck is it with you?

"Oh, wait, are you sure--"

"You heard about it, huh?" Jaemin couldn't tell if the smirk on your face was a good thing. He doesn't want to fuck this up, and he's starting to think he just did.

"I'm sorry, If you don't want to talk about it--"

"It's fine. It's not that bad. Hell, It could've earned so much if it was uploaded in a porn site, y'know? Stupid Mr. Nakamoto," You chuckled, nonchalantly turning your body towards the screen again, as if what you just said didn't just shocked Jaemin to the core.

The fact that you weren't bothered about it, and even sounded like you're bragging about it wasn't the main thing Jaemin was apalled by. "Mr. Nakamoto?"

You smiled, as if you were reminiscing, "He was my Biology teacher. Couldn't accept the fact that I'm leaving him so he went and blackmailed me with the video, but his phone got stolen and poof, it spread around like a wildfire. If you ask another person tho, they'd just say I spread it myself. You choose what you believe-- I don't really care." And you looked like it too. You did not care, because if you did, you wouldn't just tell all of this to Jaemin.

"Did anything happened to that assho-- Mr. Nakamoto?" Jaemin feels heated. He doesn't know why, but what he knows is he wants to suckerpunch whoever that Nakamoto is.

"Got his license removed, but you know what's even more fun?" You leaned onto him, your lips next to his ear and whispered, "His wife was so devastated her husband had to find someone younger to fuck, she filed for divorce the very next day."

And just like that, Jaemin was left speechless. Again.

---

"Jaem, someone's looking for you." Renjun tapped his friend's shoulder, pointing at the student standing on the door. Jaemin slowly opened his eyes, way too tired to even stand up, and looked who it was.

To his surprise, it was Yoon Jeonghan. He knew this would come sooner or later, since he had a.. thing with his sister for a while. But he never thought that Jeonghan cared, afterall, Jeonghan never talked to him about it.

But oh boy, was he wrong.

"Heard you're fooling around with y/n?" Jeonghan was serious. He wasn't looking at Jaemin, he's just staring ahead. His hands on his pocket, as Jaemin stood behind him, confused.

"Yeah? What about it?" He knew you and Jeonghan were friends, he often sees you with him. But why does this conversation feel more intense?

"And my sister already talked to you about it, right?" This time, Jeonghan looked at him.

"Yeah, she's being weird about it." Somehow, Jaemin wants this conversation to be about Jiho instead of you. He wishes Jeonghan was only after him because of his sister, because then, he knew what to do. But its you. Jaemin never know what to do with you.

"Because she's right. You should stay away from her, man. Just-- a friendly advice, alright?" Jaemin hated how Jeonghan sounded so sincere. What could be so awful about you that even this man, who he never even talked to, warned him about you?

"Dude, not to sound rude, but how the fuck does me fucking around with y/n, your business?" His voice slightly getting sharper, owing to the fact that he hated getting told what to do.

"You're a good man, Na. I'm sure there's more prettier-- even more fucking hotter girls than her. She's not..." Jeonghan paused, almost saying something he would regret, "... good for you. I've known her forever, and she's not the type to be with."

"I know you're older than me, and I mean this with utmost respect, you and your sister should mind your own business. I don't know what she did to you and Jiho, but she's fine. And we're not even together! We're just fooling around! Y'all are so dramatic." With that, Jaemin turned around and left Jeonghan. He sounded so unbothered by all of this, but in all honestly, he's starting to question if there's really a valid reason on why Jeonghan and Jiho was so sincere about you being apparently, a bad person.

The way you laugh at Jaemin, the way you smiled, you tell your stories, and everything Jaemin saw you do, you being a bad person doesn't make sense to him. Sure, you've done some fucked up things but Jaemin never cared about that. You showed him genuine happiness, and Jaemin could never see you in the light that Jeonghan and Jiho painted you out to be.

And just like clockwork, your name popped up in his screen. Just as if everything in the past fifteen minutes never happened, his steps became slightly faster as he grabbed his things. He couldn't be more excited to see you again.

---

"This is pretty." Jaemin pointed out a painting, whilst he dressed himself. You were also doing the same thing, but you looked at where he was pointing at.

It was your artwork from last year. The canvas was leaning beside your dresser, along with other canvasses that you never put up.

"Wonderstruck." you said. You were a bit appalled that Jaemin noticed the only work you were actually proud of. It wasn't even displayed in the front, it was almost entirely covered by unfinished canvasses.

"Wonderstruck? That's its name? It's really beautiful." Jaemin sounded sincere, he really found the painting pretty. It was a couple, sitting by a river on golden hour. Sky was the shade of orange and blue, nighttime seeking in but the sun's still there, laying real low. It was in a middle of a field, lavender flowers scattered around.

It was new to you, men showing interest on something more than your face and body. It sparked something in you, Jaemin knew that with the way you jumped out of your bed, biting your lip, hesitating for a second, "Want to show you something."

"What do you think?" You were standing beside your kitchen table, with a few printed photos of people Jaemin didn't know. It was all in black in white, and all of them showed genuine smiles.

"Cool. Who are they?" Jaemin was adjusting his belt as he scanned every picture. The way you're looking so innocent and fluffy, showing him your photo collection can fool a person into thinking you did not just have mindblowing sex minutes prior. Jaemin stifles a laugh.

You, in your overalls smiled so brightly at him, excited that Jaemin showed interest on your work. "They're random people I saw on the street." You were fidgety, kept on arranging the photos. Looking at Jaemin for any signs of validation. Jaemin thought you were so cute, but he never said it out loud.

"Is it for your project?" Now, Jaemin doesn't have a single clue about the Art department in his school, but he knew it's important for you, so he tried his best.

"No. I just did it." You took one picture and showed it to him upclose. "I just like to see people smiling, you know? There's just something so precious with asking people to smile for you. Because when they do, you can tell that they just feel.. pretty. And I like making people feel pretty." You were so caught up in explaining that you didn't notice how Jaemin was looking at you. And he was thankful you didn't see it.

The way his eyes just expressed a thousand strings of emotions he's afraid to show almost felt dangerous, he didn't want to get caught. But for a moment, he let it happen because he was sure you were focused on something else. All the while he was focused on you. Because while you were explaining how smiling makes people pretty, he was thinking that you didn't need to smile and he's already thinking that you were the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on.

But before you could even looked at him, Jaemin quickly focused his gaze on the photo you were showing him. "That's cool. But I never knew you were into photography aswell. I thought you were into paintings only."

"I'm into art, Jaem. And art comes with different things. Although I like painting more, photography is my second favorite. Here, before you go," Swiftly, you grabbed your polaroid camera and stood beside Jaemin, putting your arms around his shoulder making you stand on your tippy toes, and angling the camera where it could capture you both. Jaemin was caught by surprise but he still managed to smile and pull you tighter.

As soon as the flash disappeared, you removed yourself from him and grabbed the film. "This one's for you, so you could remember who your best sex was." She winked at him and chuckled before going back to rearrange her photos.

Jaemin, on the other hand, his eyes never left your figure. He was in awe, he was amazed, and fuck it, he was wonderstruck. But most importantly, he was fucking scared.

---

The next thursday came, and surprisingly, you didn't call. Jaemin liked to think you were just busy, so he never reached out. There's still sunday, he thought. And even if you didn't reach out this sunday, its okay. It's not like you had to keep the schedule, right?

Besides, Jaemin was busy aswell. He's planning Jeno's birthday. Usually, Renjun and Haechan was the one assigned to planning parties, but Renjun was occupied and Haechan wasn't feeling it. They were still helping Jaemin, its just that Jaemin wanted to throw a party for his bestfriend this time. Also, to take his mind off of you for a bit.

If he wasn't busy and occupied with something, Jaemin might go insane thinking about where you are or why you haven't been calling him. So he initiated.

"How fucking long is your list, Jaemin?" Renjun couldn't believe how long he's been scrolling through Jaemin's list for the party invitations. Yet, he isn't surprised.

"You know you can just announce that you're throwing a party and literally everyone who knows you and Jeno will come, right?" Haechan, laying on the couch scrolling mindlessly on his phone.

"Nah, I don't want some weirdo showing up uninvited." Jaemin pointed out, but he left out another reason. He wanted to waste time on listing names just to get you out his mind even for a short time.

"Well don't forget about Jisung's best friend." Haechan smirked.

"Jeno's brother's bestfriend? That's weirdly specific, bro." Jaemin added, shrugging his shoulders. Still, he wrote it down.

"A little birdie told me that Jeno has a thing for his brother's bestfriend." Haechan chuckled, fixing his glasses.

"What? How come I never knew that?" Jaemin asked. He's Jeno's best friend and an information like this would surely come up. Yet its the first time he's heard of this.

"That's because you're so far up that mystery y/n girl's ass you're starting to look like anal beads, bro." Renjun winced at Haechan's choice of words, but then again, he's used to it.

"I'm not, dude. I'm here most of the time, aren't I?" Jaemin looked at Renjun for validation, but he just rolled his eyes at him.

"He's actually right, Jaemin. You're whipped." Renjun added, smirking.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm literally here in front of you guys, on a thursday, which I'm supposed to be with her-- but I'm not because she didn't call-- but also because I want to be with you ass--"

"The more you talk, the more you prove our point. You're fucking whipped, Na Jaemin." Haechan sat down properly, playfull shoving Jaemin to provoke him. Jaemin just hit Haechan's hands away but that didn't stop the boy from annoying him.

"Think of it, dude. You went through two months with her-- only her. Two months-- dude. That's fucking bizarre for you. It's either that pussy was gold, or-- just like what we're saying, your ass is whipped." Haechan was pissing Jaemin off, not because he doesn't agree, its because he does. And admitting that would just fuck up everything you two have.

"I don't know what you're talking about. You guys are tripping, big time. I'm not whipped." Lies tasted bitter in his mouth. He might just be whipped.

He walked out of their hangout room, and just as he opened the door, his eyes widen. You were there, standing with your messy bun, clueless eyes and a box in your hand.

"H-hey?" Jaemin was caught offguard, as he closed the door behind him.

"That room looks like it stinks."

Jaemin chuckled, it does. "Mostly of weed and old furniture. What's up?"

"I,- uh, baked some cookies. Just-- y'know, wanted you to have some." You awkwardly raised your box of cookies to present them to Jaemin, and it takes so much of him not to melt on the spot.

"Thank you," Jaemin resisted the urge to call you 'baby', mostly because he didn't know if he was allowed to do it outside your apartment.

"Tell you what-- why don't we eat it together?" Jaemin.

"I'm free until 4:30?"

"Cool, we can go to the garden, there's barely any student there."

Jaemin smiled and grabbed you by your wrist. "But I know a much more cooler place."

"Really? Where?" Jaemin stopped, and it was your turn to hold him by the wrist.

Jaemin didn't ask, he just let you drag him anywhere. You could take him to a lion's den, he wouldn't care. Anywhere is fine with him as long as you're there.

After climbing on a flight of stairs, Jaemin noticed that you two ended up on Art department building's rooftop.

He hasn't been in here, and it was.. interesting. It looks like any other rooftop, messy and full of unused class chairs, except there was a spot where there's an old couch, just like what they have on their hangout spot. There's a random mini refrigerator and a lamp-- thats it.

"This is my super secret place. Be greatful I let you in here." You squinted your eyes at Jaemin as you patted the seat beside you, basically asking him to sit.

Jaemin did so, and looked ahead. He can see the entire school campus in here.

"This is pretty." He whispered.

"Much better than your stinky room, huh?" You bragged, opening a can of cola that you have on the mini fridge.

"Hey, how come you have that? We requested to have one but the stupid school didn't let us."

"Oh, this little guy? Johnny helped me with it." You smirked, tapping the blue mini fridge.

"Johnny?" A new name in Jaemin's books. Who's Johnny?

"Nurse Suh? His name is Johnny Suh, you didn't know?"

"I didn't." His vibe went a bit south, but he didn't let that spoil your moment together. It was rare for you to approach him in school, and he wanted to have that moment.

"This is good, damn." Jaemin munched on the cookies you got for him and it was honestly tasty. Better than any other cookies he had before, or maybe he was biased and his judgement was greatly affected by the fact that you made it. Eitherway, the cookies are delicious.

"I only made one batch and even that was too much for me. I wanted to give some out but.." you paused. "Funny, you're the only one I had in mind."

"Nurse Suh?" Jaemin didn't even know why he brought the guy up again, but he did.

"Nah, we don't do that." You smiled.

"And we do?" A tinge of hope sparked in Jaemin, that maybe he had some difference between him and Nurse Suh. Maybe you do treat him more special. A guy can dream, can't he?

"Sure, we do. I mean, I can't just throw away this exceptionally good tasting cookies, can't I? And you're the only one I have right now.. so."

Jaemin was enthusiastic. He felt like he won something. He can't help but smile even more, but also, he felt bad. When you said he was the only one you have, he thought about Jiho and Jeonghan.

"What about the Yoon siblings?"

You let out a humourless chuckle, more like a scoff. "Jiho doesn't talk to me anymore and Jeonghan.. well. It's complicated."

"I swear I just saw you two eating at the cafeteria." Heck, that's how he found out about you. Because you were sitting at the cafeteria beside Jeonghan.

"He just sat with me because he felt bad I was eating alone. Also I barely go down there to eat-- so he kinda just.. I don't know. Let's not talk about them anymore, Jaem."

---

"Look at me, baby." Jaemin whispered, softly grabbing your jaw to turn your head towards him. He has you on your side, holding your right thigh up as he slowy thrust. He can see that you're near, and damn, he can feel it too.

"J-jaem.." You start shaking, as your entire body give out. Looking into his eyes, his own pleasure wasn't on the table anymore, he just wants you to feel good. He can safely say that you are indeed the prettiest when you cum, and he's glad he can see you this way.

"That's right, sweetheart. Let go for me, will you?" This was very different on how you usually do it with him. You were usually intense, rough and fast, but something about tonight feels more... passionate. Jaemin never went any faster than his current tempo, yet he still hits every spot. Slow and deep, while he looks at your face, admiring the beauty he's glad he had the priviledge to see.

"Kiss me, Jaemin." You didn't even have to ask twice, Jaemin already dipped his head lower to reach your lips, tasting you while your walls tightens, your whimpers covered by his own lips, you just came.

Once Jaemin pulls away, he pulls a few strings of hair strands away your face to see you. Your eyes glistening, and not long when you let a tear drop. Jaemin could never wish for anything more than this.

"You're so beautiful, y/n." He whispered, more to himself, than to you.

"Thank you." You softly answered, smiling at him and giving him another kiss. Jaemin then let go of your thigh, instead wrapping his arms on your waist. It seems like you got the idea that he's near his climax so you positioned yourself in a way that he gets more of you, sticking your backside out more thus facing away from him.

"No, no, princess keep looking at me." Jaemin whispered and you followed, facing him again.

"You gonna cum for me, baby?" You asked sensually. His thrust slightly getting deeper, but never faster. His eyes went back and forth with both of your eyes as he nodded.

"For you, my love." He mumbled. His jaw slightly ajar, brows furrowed as he let out a deep moan, abruptly staying still and you felt his release warming up your walls.

"You did so good, Jaemin. So, so good." Your compliments just adds to his pleasure. Shivers ran down his spine, he manages to calm himself after his intense climax.

"You're so good to me. I lik--" Before Jaemin finishes, you pulled away from him.

"I'm taking a piss." You said, forcing yourself to stand up and walk your way to the bathroom.

And just like how he felt so good seconds before, it suddenly got washed away with the feeling of dismay. He can't believe he just attempted to say that. Fuck. Running his hands on his face, he mentally curses himself for being wreckless.

You were still in the bathroom when Jaemin heard a few knocks. He's confused, grabbing his phone to look at the time.

9:47pm. Who could visit you at this time?

He grabbed his boxers and quickly putting it on, as well as his shirt but he didn't bother to make himself presentable. He opened the door and his eyes widen.

"Nurse Suh?" He eyed the tall man, and the guy eyed him too. Both of them are confused as to why the other is standing where they are.

"Na Jaemin? What the hell are you doing here?" Johnny wasn't even sure why he was asking that, it's clear with Jaemin's shuffled hair and obviously--- him in his boxers.

"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Jaemin sounded rude, but he does not give a shit. Nurse Suh poses as a threat to him and your-- uh, situationship -- and Jaemin doesn't have a reason to be nice to him.

"Where is she?" Johnny's voice was full of concern, as he looked past the younger boy just to get a glimpse inside your apartment. That's until Jaemin steps outside, and closing the door behind him.

"What do you want from her?" Jaemin looks at him, and although the guy was taller and has a bigger built, again, he doesn't care.

"I'm sure you know the answer to that." Johnny's tone and him mocking Jaemin pissed him more. Letting out a huge breath, Jaemin looked at him straight in the eyes.

"You know-- you're whole relationship with her is fucked up, right?" Johnny was surprised on how Jaemin just turned off the calm facade. He didn't expect him to be triggered like this

"What relationship? You out of all people should know she doesn't do relationsh--"

"Yeah, whatever. You can't fuck around with her anymore, man. You're a fucking school staff, and she's a student. Also, you have a fucking girlfriend. I don't know how you're okay with this."

"The same way she's okay with it. Look, kid," Johnny closed his eyes and massaged his temples, he continued. "... me and her, we've been through some shit. Shit that you can't handle. But I know.. man, you care for her. And I don't want to hear your bullshit, you do care for her. And I do too. But she's not the kind to be with, y'know? She's gonna ruin--"

"Fuck! You weren't the only one who fucking told me that. I don't know what she did to you, but she's fine with me. If you think of her as this fucking tragedy on legs, then maybe you don't really care, don't you? But I do. So get off my fucking ass and don't see her again. Or I'm gonna have to report you." Jaemin didn't know where all of his words came from, but it did feel good. He doesn't think about the consequences of everything, but one thing's for sure. He's not gonna let anyone talk shit about you anymore.

Johnny, tho, never flinched. Instead, he smirks and even let out a chuckle. "You've got some nerves, kid. Okay. I'll back off. But don't come running back when she breaks you." he then turned around and got ready to leave, but a few steps in, he turned to Jaemin again.

"...oh, and tell her Happy birthday."

Jaemin stood there for a minute, watching Johnny leave. It's your birthday? How come you never said anything?

After a few deep breaths, he went inside the apartment again. Just in time when you walked out the bathroom, hair all wet and with a set of new pajamas.

"You done?" Jaemin approached with a smile.

"Yeah. You wanna take a shower?" You looked up at him. He shook his head as he patted your head. "You hungry?" he asked.

You smiled even more, looking up at him expectantly, "Please?"

"Okay. I'll go get us some food, alright? You don't worry your pretty little head." Jaemin gave you a kiss on the top of your head before getting his pants and keys, walking out of the apartment.

Not even half an hour, Jaemin came back. Not only with takeout, but also a bento box. You looked at him kind of confused on what it is, but when he opened it, your eyes widen. It was a small cake that he bought on the convenience store. He wanted a much more expensive one but he also wants to get back to you as soon as possible.

He then pulled out a small candle, sticking it onto the cake. Pulling out a newly bought lighter, and lighting the candle. "Happy birthday, princess. Make a wish." He smiles softly at you.

When all of this was happening, you didn't say a thing. You just looked at him with your glassy eyes, your mouth slightly apart. You blinked hard and fast before finally tracing back to yourself, "I'm.. how did you know?" you asked.

"Doesn't matter. Now come on, candle's burning out." Thats when you looked down on the candle, quickly closing your eyes, clasping your hands together as you thought hard about what you're wishing. Seconds after, you opened your eyes and blew on the candle.

Jaemin was still smiling, setting the small cake aside to give you a kiss on your forehead. He was surprised when your arms wrapped around his waist.

"Why do you have to make me so happy, Jaem? You make it so hard. So hard." You whispered, but Jaemin heard everything. He desparately wanted to answer, because he had an answer. And its something he's afraid to tell you. Because the result was uncertain. Its either it goes perfectly well, or he lose you. And he's not gonna take that risk.

So instead, he just returned your embrace, but even more tighter, giving you another kiss on your forehead. "I don't know." he answered quietly, lying to you and to himself.

"You're a good person, Jaem. Anyone would be lucky to have you." Your vulnerable voice made Jaemin feel warm. In a way, you sounded truthful. You felt genuine.

"You're lucky, then." Slowly, Jaemin. Lay it on her slowly.

"I can't have you." Your bitter smile showed.

"Why not?" Every second counted, every breath you take suddenly mattered.

"I can't do that to you," With a shaking voice, you buried your face in his chest even more.

"I don't understa--"

"Just shut up, shut the fuck up and let me have this." And with that, Jaemin never muttered another word. Instead, he just held you closer like this was the last time he gets to do so.

"Jaem?" You looked up at him, Jaemin looked dow n at you with his eyebrows up.

"I'm sorry." You said. And Jaemin didn't want to ask why you were apologizing, he doesn't like to know the reason behind it. Because he doesn't want you to give him a reason why he needs to forgive you about something.

---

"I think I'm inlove with her."

"Ya think?" Jeno, deep inside his phone, seems like he's stressed about something. Never minding his best friend's struggle, because everybody already knew Jaemin was inlove with you. It's not new information.

"Fuck! Shit!" Both their heads turn as they saw Renjun ran inside their hangout spot and closed the door.

"Hell is wrong with you?" Jaemin asked, but Renjun ignored him and proceeds to lock the door.

"Why's everybody so weird today?" Jaemin mumbled.

It is a very weird day for Jaemin. Somehow, he feels like something's not right. Well, yeah, his undying love for you was one thing he was stressed about but there's more, today's not like every other day, he thought.

That goes on for the rest of his morning. Its like he's waiting on something to happen, like everybody was so tense. You didn't text or call either, which was feeding onto Jaemin's paranoia. It's not like he's being clingy, but he's genuinely feeling something unsettling in his chest.

Maybe it was the coffee he had this morning, or maybe the fact that he's never had this dilemma about a girl before.

So, finally giving up his pride, he texted you.

4:50pm jaemin: wya

4:52pm jaemin: heyy

4:58pm jaemin: ??

You not answering definitely did not help. So, the next big thing he can come up with was go to your apartment. Not a smart choice but Jaemin never once claimed to be smart.

Once he took a step towards your door, for a moment. Jaemin regretted going here. He can see that your lights are on, and can hear shuffling inside. But fuck it, he's already here.

He thought you had someone over, maybe Johnny, or someone else. That made him heated. But the closer he was on your front door, he heard yelling-- and another voice, which he could tell was from a girl.

The door was ajar-- and once he was right infront of it, he could hear everything.

"Y/N! Please! Not him-- he's a good person. You know that!" He confirmed that it was Jiho who was arguing with you.

"I don't care what you feel, Jiho. Get the fuck out of my apartment!"

"Leave Jaemin alone--" Once Jaemin heard his name, his feet froze on the spot.

"Why the fuck are you so nosy? Is it because I stole your little Na Jaemin? Then go ahead! Get him back! But, oh-- newsflash, he doesn't want you anymore. Washed up and used--" The sound of a slap made Jaemin finally interfere. He walked up inside your apartment and saw you holding your cheek and Jiho crying. Both of them looked at him shocked.

"What are you doing here?" Jiho was the first one to speak, but Jaemin's eyes were focused on you.

"Did you just hurt her?" Jaemin was angry. The sight of your cheeks red and the fact that he knows Jiho just slapped you didn't sit right with him.

"Didn't you heard what she said?! Didn't you fucking understand what kind of person she is?" Jiho cried even more, she couldn't believe that someone as sweet as Jaemin would side with the most vile person she knows.

"Doesn't give you the right to hurt her." Jaemin threw all his principles away at this point. He doesn't care anymore.

"You're poisoning his mind, Y/N!" Jiho shouted, which you just smirked at her. Jaemin can't find the warmth inside your eyes, he just saw something empty.

"I didn't do shit, Jiho. Maybe you should just learn how to get out of my fucking trail. Or should I do something? Should I break your brother's heart for the second time?" Jaemin didn't know this version of you. Its like you've thrown away every emotion you have just to spite everyone.

"Don't you fucking dare." Jiho attempted to step towards you again but Jaemin put himself in between you and Jiho.

"Just go, Jiho." Jaemin calmly said.

Jiho didn't say anything, and let out a huge puff before walking out of the apartment, sobbing. She slammed the door shut and quickly the room went silent. None of you dared to talk for the first couple of minutes.

"I didn't want you here," you started.

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, picking up some things that fell on the floor, trying to fix the apartment. Your paint brushes, your keys, and even some of your photos were on the floor. Must've been a very intense argument.

"Did you hear me, Jaemin? I don't want you here!" your voice strained, Jaemin pretended not to hear you as he continue to clean up the mess.

"Are you hungry? Want me to get you dinner?" Jaemin's voice was as normal as it can be. It doesn't make sense to you. But everything in this situation doesn't make sense.

Jaemin should be mad. Jaemin should go and leave you. Jaemin wasn't supposed to stay.

"Whatever-- do what you want. I'm going to bed."

Jaemin likes to think that in a couple of hours, you'll come up and be in a great mood. Sun shining and all that corny shit. Jaemin was also overly enthusiastic, one that masks with the real thing he's feeling right now. Nervous. Worried.

For a couple of days. Jaemin tried his best to get you out of your apartment because remember, you two are students. You were supposed to go to school. But you never left your bed. And for the first few days, Jaemin didn't go to school too. He was in your apartment day and night, looking after you. This wasn't like you before, Jaemin swears its like you're a whole new different person.

You didn't talk, didn't want to get up, and he knows damn well you aren't sleeping for the past days. You just layed there, emotionless.

He didn't know why he was doing this. You weren't you anymore and Jaemin doesn't know who he was even taking care of anymore. But he's still here. He's still with you.

The third day went and Jaemin is still in your apartment. Ignoring his friends-- and shit, even his mom. He doesn't want them to know why he's MIA for the past few days. He doesn't want everyone to know yours and his business. Whatever happenes between you two, stays between you two.

Jaemin woke up with you sitting on the kitchen. Eyes staring at nowhere, hair dishevelled and bags under your eyes forming.

"Goodmorning," Jaemin said in his sweet voice, careful not to scare you.

"I don't know how many times I should tell you this, but you should go, Jaemin. While I'm being nice." Even your voice sounds like a stranger. The pinch of joy that used to come with your voice were no longer there.

"I will, but I need to make sure you're fine---"

"I'm fine! I don't fucking need you here!" You yelled, Jaemin flinched but still remained calm.

"Are you hungry--"

"Maybe you've become dumb and stupid that you can't comprehend a simple fucking sentence, huh? I'm done with you, Jaemin. I'm sorry but you're useless to me now. I need a new face around here and yours is--"

"You really want me to leave?" Jaemin sincerely asked, like he was tired. Your eyes lifted, and you nodded.

"Yes." Jaemin's lips formed a thin line, his jaw clenched.

"Fine." He calmly walked away-- and convinced he can't take it anymore. He was tired mentally, emotionally and physically. You didn't want to be helped and Jaemin knew he can't handle you.

But as soon as the door shut behind him, his feet stood frozen as he waited. And not even a couple of minutes, the sound of your sobbing on the other side of the door made Jaemin turn his steps.

He was tired, but not fatigued. He knew he couldn't handle you but he can try. You didn't want to be helped but maybe tomorrow you change your mind. And maybe, just maybe, he can take another day.

"Breakfast, y/n. Come on." Jaemin, the fourth day. He went home for a bit, took a shower, but quickly went back to your place. And in his surprise, you were out of bed.

He can hear the faucet running, so he knew you were in the bathroom.

A few moments later, he heard you coming out of the shower. And there you are, hair all wet, freshen up after a few dreadful days and Jaemin was starting to see the color coming back in your skin.

"You feeling better, baby?" He softly asked.

"What are you still doing here?"

Jaemin didn't say anything, instead, giving you the most precious smile he had. "Come on, I cooked pancakes."

"Jaemin, get out. We're done, Jaemin. Get the fuck out!" Tears started forming again in your newly healed eyes, as you pointed out the door.

"I'm not leaving you, y/n." Finally, Jaemin acknowledged the situation.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, huh? When I say we're done, we're done, Jaemin. Can't get that through your thick head?" Words spew like venom, Jaemin starting to feel like he's staring at a stranger. Who is this person in front of him?

"I know you're upset and you haven't eaten a proper meal in days--"

"The fuck do you care?" And with that, you ticked something off from Jaemin.

"Fuck do I care?! Y/N, you've pushed everyone around you away and I was the one who stayed! For days I didn't go anywhere and stayed with you, y/n. Do I care?! Because even if I don't know what the fuck is going on with you I still fucking stayed! So yeah, I'd like to think that I care for you because I fucking lo-- shit!" Jaemin caught himself before actually saying the thing. He knows its a deal breaker if he said it but hopefully, you already felt it.

"Did I ask you to do all of that shit?"

Jaemin can almost feel his heart shatter. You really didn't care about him, or his feelings. He had a little bit of hope. And with a single sentence, you destroyed it.

Jaemin let out a humourless chuckle. "Fine. We're fucking done, y/n."

---

It's been a week and Jaemin's friends started to worry. Jaemin barely ate-- didn't attend his classes and barely got out of their hangout spot. Jeno had a call with his mom and told him that Jaemin didn't once contact them in almost a month. And thats where Jeno knew something was wrong. Jaemin loved his mom-- and he would never ghost her.

"Man, I don't know what to do. He just flicked me off when I offered him ramen." Haechan was serious. You barely see him being this concerned-- but even him, knows something was wrong with Jaemin.

"Is it about that y/n girl?" Renjun asked.

"Probably. I mean, eversince she came into the picture Jaemin basically became a different person." Jeno haven't met you yet, but this, what you're doing to his bestfriend definitely isn't giving a good impression.

"Maybe they're done. If Jaemin's looking like this and haven't mentioned a single thing about her, I think that's what this is." Renjun said, looking at his friend, and his sleeping figure.

"I have an idea." Haechan stood up and huddled his friends, but Jeno and Renjun stepped away. "No, Haechan, you don't."

"What? At least I'm trying to help our friend!" He grabbed both of his friends again, "Anyways-- we should introduce him to another girl. Get him back in the game, y'know?"

"What are we talking about?" The three of them almost jumped when Jaemin was suddenly huddled with them.

"Nothing! We're just thinking about how much booze we're buying for Jeno's party." Haechan's quick wits came into action but Jaemin didn't buy it.

"Stop being weird." He casually walked back to the sofa and plopped himself down again.

Jeno tho, had enough. "You're weird! What the fuck is with this act, bro? You look lovesick or some shit."

"m not doing anything, the fuck are you on about?" Jeno got even more pissed, because Jaemin was blatantly lying.

"That girl you're with is causing trouble, dude. You're barely going to class, we haven't seen you in days, you didn't call your mom in a week and just for her to fuck with the school nurse?" Jeno's still calm, not wanting to escalate the situation. But he figured that Jaemin needs to hear it one way of another.

Jaemin was visibly confused. What did Jeno mean about you with nurse suh? Didn't he already dealt with that?

"Saw her yesterday at the nearby convenience store with Nurse Suh. I don't know, dude but she's not worth all this shit. And I don't even wanna talk about the stuff I heard about her previous school, man." Haechan was a little hesitant about confronting Jaemin, but since Jeno has already started it he's got no choice but to just say it.

"You're out of your mind if you think you have the right to say all that shit. You don't even know her." Every word that Jaemin says was delivered with so much intensity, even the boys were starting to feel uneasy.

"We're just confused Jaem, eversince you met that y/n girl its like you became a whole new perso--" Renjun was cut off when Jaemin let out a scoff.

"Okay, I see what's going on here. If we're airing out our business here then let me have my fucking turn." Jaemin stepped towards Jeno, "You, aren't you shagging your lil bro's bestfriend? Yeah? Guess what, so is half the school."

"Hey, the hell? What's wrong with you, man?" Haechan interfered. He knew the look that Jeno has right now was serious, and he also knew that if he didn't get in between them, chaos will ensue. So he quickly stepped beside Jeno.

"What the fuck do you know about me and her, Renjun? I minded my own business when you went out with your girl out of pity." Jaemin doesn't know where that came from, but it already went out his lips. He wasn't the one to say things like that but somehow it came out. Renjun was fazed, to say the least.

"And you--" Jaemin let out an sigh and smirked, slowly turning towards Haechan. "You talk high and mighty but everybody knows you're a fucking cheater, Lee Haechan. So you, especially you, doesn't have the right to even mutter a thing about her. Because if we're talking about being an asshole, you take the fucking throne." Jaemin's eyes are empty, and so his mind. He just wanted to say anything to get back at his friends without thinking.

"Fuck you, man. Seriously. All this for that girl? You look fucking pathetic, Na Jaemin." Jeno was aggravated and fuming, but he was never gonna go down with violence, specially with his best friend. He knew better.

"It doesn't even fucking matter what you think about her anymore, cuz y'know what? We're done. She doesn't wanna see me anymore. So go ahead and talk shit about her but make sure I'm not in the fucking room next time." The room was silent, they didn't know what to say. Obviously because this was the first time they saw Jaemin like this.

"I think this shit got out of hand, I know you're upset but we're just genuinely concerned, dude." Renjun, now on the much calmer side, tries to difuse the situation.

"Okay, I'm just gonna ignore what you said because I know you're upset, Jaemin. But come on, man, you've met her what? For two months? And you're already losing yourself? I swear if this could be any other girl I wouldn't say anything but man.. she's only trouble. And you can get angry at us all you want but I'm glad you got out of that situation." This side of Haechan was rarely seen, because it only comes out when they need it the most. And for Jaemin, its also rare that he agrees with Haechan but this time, he did.

For the next week, Jaemin tried to bring himself back, and his friends noticed it too. He became active again, going to parties with them and even got back to planning on Jeno's birthday party. There was no sign of you, your name or your presence. Jaemin was starting his old ways again, meeting some girls here and there.

"Hey, what did I tell ya, huh? She's great, isn't she?" Haechan grinned at him, as they walked together.

"Nah, I've had better." Jaemin non-chalantly said.

Haechan looked at his friend, smile slowly getting bigger. "There's the asshole I know, glad you're back to the game, man!" Haechan with his proudest smile, shook Jaemin playfully and but the boy did nothing but chuckle.

His friends were satisfied and pretty much convinced that you were completely out of Jaemin's system. To see Jaemin go back to whatever he was before you, definitely brought back the Jaemin they knew.

"Happy birthday, man! Whew, how does it feel to be an old hag?" Haechan joked as he hugged Jeno, Jeno just playfully pushed him away.

The music was loud and people were starting to fill up Jeno's house. It's his parent's house and they were out of town, as per Jeno's request on his birthday. No one wants to party with their parents, ofcourse.

To say that Jaemin pulled off the party planning was an understatement. It was only 8pm and the party is already packed. Jaemin really outdid himself on this one, also with a little help from Haechan and Renjun.

"Happy birthday, Lee! This party is fucking lit, dude!" Yangyang, from engineering department went and greeted Jeno. "We've got Jaemin to thank for that." Jeno responded loudly, trying to communicate among the loud music.

"Yeah-- where's Na?" Yangyang asked, and Jeno was clueless as him. He knew Jaemin was in the house, he saw him earlier. But after that he never saw him again.

His eyes went around the room to find atleast Haechan or Renjun, and he only found Renjun on the side, in his phone. "He's around, somewhere." Jeno answered, bidding goodbye to the friend and walked across the room to approach Renjun.

"Where's Jaemin?" Jeno managed to ask.

"Upstairs with the girl Haechan introduced him to!" Renjun wiggled his eyebrows at Jeno, and Jeno nodded in agreement. At least he knew Jaemin was having fun.

Little did they know, Jaemin wasn't having fun.

"Come on, Jaemin.. how long does it take?" The girl whispered sexually, kissing his neck like its her last meal.

"Just.. don't talk." Usually it doesn't take Jaemin this long to get hard, but the girl just doesn't do it for him. Its been almost thirty minutes and Jaemin is getting tired, but he also doesn't want to disappoint, so he tries his best to focus on the girl, but he just couldn't.

His phone constantly vibrating doesn't help, so he grabbed it and threw it on the other side of the bed.

Jaemin closed his eyes, felt every single touch and did the worst thing he could ever do to himself. He imagined it was you.

You were touching him, kissing him and giving him warmth. It's you he's with, not this girl, not any girl. Its you. And it worked. It brought back memories of you that sparked something in his body. Small waves of pleasure started. And just as he's slowly starting to function, he heard the door open.

Jaemin's back was facing the door but the girl on his lap can see who just entered. The little mindgames in his head was interupted when the sound of the door brought him back to reality.

"What the fuck? This room is occupied!" The girl with him yelled, completely destroying the fantasy Jaemin created in his head. He's back to square one again, and this time he's not trying again.

As soon as the intruder left, Jaemin lifted the girl off his lap. "Sorry, Cindy, bab--" he can't even call her 'baby'. "--but you need to go."

Jaemin didn't wait for her answer and left her on the bed while he walked and locked himself on the bathroom.

As soon as he knew that the girl had officially left, that's when he went out to his room again. His hands finding his phone, he checked what time it is. 9pm.

Jaemin brushed his hands through his hair, frustrated and strssed.

He ignored the multiple chat that Jeno and Renjun had sent, and went to an food delivery app instead.

Delivery Status: Successful

Items: 1 Full Steak Meal with Pineapple Juice and NY Cheesecake

Total: 80,000krw

Notes: Don't skip a meal :) -J

Jaemin has been sending food to your place for the past week. In exactly 9pm, when he knew you'd usually have your dinner.

The next morning, he woke up fine. He didn't really drink much so he didn't have any sort of headaches or symptoms of a bad hangover.

The house was eerily quiet, as usual, the morning after a very big party.

He was the first to wake up and the whole house was trashed. He didn't expect anything else, ofcourse seeing the amount of people last night.

He knew all four of them was still in the house tho, maybe a couple of girls, so as the designated sober person he took the initiative to prepare breakfast. It was calming for Jaemin to take care of people.

Not long after he heard a couple of footsteps, and of course, it was Renjun.

"Mornin'" Renjun, hair sticking out everywhere, still in his clothes from last night.

"Had fun last night?" Jaemin asked, smirking.

"Didn't you read the texts I sent you last night?" Renjun asked. Jaemin's smirk disappeared.

"What text?"

"Jeno wouldn't want me to tell you this but... she was here. She was looking for you but Jeno and I didn't tell her where you were. She knew that you were here because she told us you invited her a while ago, she looks so.. tired. And then she asked Jisung, who doesn't have a clue with the whole y/n situation so he told her that you were upstairs." Renjun thought that Jaemin needed to know what happened. Jeno thought otherwise.

Jaemin felt his blood drain out of his body. He remembered someone knocking and opening the door to where he was with a girl last night, but he didn't know who it was. Jaemin's heart was racing. He was sure it was you. And he was also sure how fucked up it is to find him like that.

Jaemin didn't say anything, grabbing his keys as he left Renjun thinking if he made the right decision.

"Y/n! Y/n!" Jaemin was knocking on your door with urgency, and after a few, the door opened.

You were there. Standing in front of him but why can't Jaemin find any familiarity?

You were so different. You've lost weight. You're not you-- yet his heart still beats the same. His eyes still found warmth as you looked at him. The smile that left no trace on your face still lingered around Jaemin's memories and for that he still knows that somehow, you're still you.

"Hey." You whispered. You sounded weak.

Jaemin was about to hug you-- confront you about last night but once his eyes left the beauty that is your face, his heart skipped a beat. His body froze, he felt like time stopped.

Your shirt. Your fucking shirt. You're wearing a faded out starwars shirt.

"W-what are you wearing?"

"Oh this? Ah, right! Tell Haechan thank you for last night-" You smiled, the sweetest smile that Jaemin once loved, was now stabbing him in the chest.

"Don't..-- Why are you-- I don't understand.." Jaemin finally broke down, eyes letting go of the tears he held. You're breaking him down-- you're ruining him.

"What? You thought I was better?"

"Y/n.. don't do this to me.." Jaemin whispered. Knees giving out, yet he remained still.

"I don't know what to tell you, Jaemin. I'm everything they told you I would be."

"You're just.. cruel. My friend, y/n? My fucking friend?" In contrast with his cursing, his tone wasn't angry. It was despair.

"Will you leave me now?"

"Did you.. did you sleep with him?" Stupid question.

"I don't know, Jaemin. Did I?"

"You're.. fuck, y/n you're just cruel. Cruel and fucking unfair. Whatever did I do to you?" His voice strained. Drip-drop.

"Do you finally hate me?" Drip-drop.

Drip-drop.

Drip...drop.

"Yeah.. yeah I think I do."

And there it was. The last drop of Jaemin's feelings for you. Congratulations, y/n. You've finally drained him out of love.

---

Three days, Jaemin went off the grid. He stayed with his mom, giving himself a break.

He didn't want to contact any of his friends. At least not for now. He knew he still had that pent up anger towards Haechan, and he don't want to do anything that would result in him being violent. He knew that it was all your plan, just to get him to leave you alone.

What he couldn't understand is why Haechan did it. Haechan knew what Jaemin felt for you, like shit, he knew before Jaemin even knew for himself. He was one of the people who made Jaemin realize his feelings for you.

He wished he had listened to everybody and just left you alone. He wished he took everyone's advice and minded his own business. Maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.

Eventually he had to comeback. His school isn't very much happy with him and its not like its the end of the world. Everything is moving on but him, and nobody likes to be left behind.

As soon as his friends saw him, Haechan froze. He quickly tried and approached Jaemin. "Dude. Where were you? Everybody was looking for you--"

"Don't touch me, Lee Haechan." Jaemin wasn't angry, but he wasn't calm either. His tone is strong and firm, enough to stop Haechan from his tracks.

"Is this about Jeno's birthday?" Jaemin wanted to punch Haechan for even bringing it up. How could he?

"I swear to God if you don't step back--"

"What the hell is wrong with you, Jaemin?" Renjun was the one to interfere this time.

"What's wrong with me? This fucker slept with y/n and you're asking me what's wrong with me, Huang?!"

"Hold up-- hold the fuck up, What do you mean?" Jeno, eyes going back and forth between Haechan and Jaemin.

"She told you we slept together?" Haechan was legitamately confused.

"She was wearing your ugly ass shirt, Haechan."

"Yeah because I lent it to her? She was at the party and I accidentally bumped into her and she got alcohol spilled all over her shirt, Jaemin. So I had to fucking give her a shirt and then she ran away right after. You think I'd do that to you?!" Haechan was fully arguing with him now but Jaemin had remained silent.

Then why did you let him think that you did it? Why would you put him through this? Are you that desparate to make Jaemin hate you?

Jaemin brushed his palm all over his face. He was dumbfounded. He then plops down on the couch, deliberately thinking about the past few days he spent trying to get you off his head. And he thought he was damn near on succeeding, but the sudden information struck him down again.

And just as the tension was slowly coming down, a sudden intrusion on their room made the four of them look at the door.

"He's here? Na Jaemin!" Jiho burst through the door, passing through the three boys who were too caught in the moment to stop her.

"J-Jiho.." Jaemin stood up again, as Jiho stood in front of him.

"What did you do?!" Jiho was frustrated and angry, to say the least.

"Let's calm down," Renjun, the forever pacifist meekly attempted to delute the situation in hand.

"No! I told you, Jaemin! We told you to stay away from her!" Jiho.

"Are you blaming him? Your friend is a pathological liar who likes to play with peopl--" Jiho angrily turned towards Jeno, making the boy stop his rant.

"You're not part of this." Jiho then looked at Jaemin again.

"We're done, Jiho. I don't want her anymore. I don't want anything to do with her--"

Jiho smirked, "She left, Jaemin. She pulled out of school."

The room filled with silence, and it was so loud. Nobody wanted to say anything, partly because they were waiting for Jaemin to react.

"She-- what?" Jaemin was shocked. His body didn't know how to react. Every bones started to feel loose, it was so eerily quiet that it feels like he can count the seconds it takes for his heart to beat again.

Jiho's tears started to flow. "She was sober for six months, you know? We thought we finally fixed her-- she was doing fine. And then you-- you just had to come in and ruin everything."

"I don't underst--"

"I don't want to blame it all on you, because I know you're also hurt-- but Jaemin we begged you to stay away from her. But you didn't. You--" Jiho sat down, hands on her face, shoulders shaking.

"S-she--" Jaemin couldn't form a sentence.

"Where were you? In the past three days, Jaemin, where were you?" Jiho took a sharp breath, raising her head and looked at Jaemin once again.

"I was at my mom's..." Jaemin answered meekly.

"I found out last Thursday. When you saw us fighting at her apartment, that was when I caught her doing drugs. I was trying to--, fuck, I was trying to throw it away and then she got angry and started to talk about you. I guess she felt that you were by the door and started to talk about you.." Jaemin remembers that clear as day. The day you visibly changed right in front of his eyes.

"She left Sacred Heart last year because of the scandal. It hit her so bad, and that's when it started. She was introduced to drugs and later diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Me and Jeonghan knew her from our childhood and we did our best to help her. And then she went out with Jeonghan and that's when our falling apart happened. She broke my brother's heart and I can't even blame her because I know she only did it because she wants everyone to leave her. She thinks she's a burden to everybody. And then Nurse Suh came into the picture and helped her to get free medication, and when she did, eventually her addiction stopped. And then you happened, and for a while she was so happy. But suddenly Nurse Suh cut her off and the medication stopped. That's why she drove you away, Jaemin. You know what she told Jeonghan before she left? She said that you didn't deserve to be with her."

"She can't leave, did you check the apartment?" Denial. Jaemin can't process everything yet. He doesn't want to.

"Her stuff's out of the apartment. We found this," Jiho pulled out a polaroid picture. Jiho reached out to Jaemin, swiftly before letting go of the photo.

"She's a good person, Jaemin. She's just broken. I know you did your best, but we can't help a person who doesn't want to be helped. I just hope you don't hate her forever." Jiho then walked away.

Jeno, Haechan and Renjun was silent. They didn't say anything, not to disturb their friend's moment of silence. One by one, the left the room, leaving Jaemin and a photo that had a glimpse of a moment where you were once his.

It was the picture of you and Jaemin. Happily smiling. Upon seeing the photo, Jaemin finally broke down.

At the back, there was something written.

Hi, Jaem. Thank you for the food you've been sending! Although I didn't eat it, I still know that it's delicious!! Remember when we talked about photography? How I love people's smile? Guess what? I think yours is my favorite. So please keep wearing it. You're precious, Jaem. I am so sorry for everything. I hope you get the love that you deserve. Do me a favor and forget me, will you? -y/n :)

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"Is it on?" Jaemin was a giggling mess, infront of you as you filmed him beside you on your bed, nothing but the sheets.

"It is! Okay, ladies and gents,--"

"This man right here," You booped his nose, "Just gave me a mind blowing orgasm about.. hm, six minutes ago?" Jaemin laughed at the camera, before wiggling his eyebrows at it. "I did, one of my proudest talents."

"Shut up!" you laughed. "Anyways, Mr. Jaemin-ssi. Tell the whole world your age and what you want to be when you grow up!" You giggled, focusing the camera on his bare face. His eyes heavy, smile reaching his eyes.

"22, and yours." He whispered as he looked at your eyes instead of the camera lense.

"What? You barely said anything!"

"I just did what you told me, baby. I told my whole world what my age was and what I wanted to be." Jaemin can see the sudden rush of color on your cheeks. You frowned cutely.

"You're a loser." A tinge of smile you desperately hid made Jaemin laugh. He likes it when you pretend you don't like his corny takes.

Jaemin then grabbed the camera, now turned it to you, also nothing but the sheets and bare face. Jaemin is convinced this is what heaven must look like.

"Now to my pretty interviewer-- aren't you gorgeous?" You jokingly cleared your throat, smiled so big that it could make anyone blind.

"Hi, I'm y/n, Jaemin's pretty interviewer."

"So, my pretty girl. 5 years from now, how do you see yourself?" You were a bit unprepared with Jaemin's question, he sees it the way your smiles faltered a bit.

It took you a minute before you answered, "Better. I hope I can be better so I can take care of this little manchild." You somehow turned it light, grabbing the camera from Jaemin and pointing at him.

"Well, y/n from 5 years from now, I'm glad-- I hope, I'm still there by your side."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"Yeri, I've told you a hundred times, she's my mother so you need to treat her with respect!" Jaemin can't help but yell, just as he followed Yeri out of the restaurant.

"She doesn't like me, Jaemin! Gosh your mother is so-, I'm not dealing with her shit anymore, Jaemin!" Yeri yelled back, stomping her feet as she walked toward's Jaemin's car.

Yeri is Jaemin's girlfriend for four months. He went out with her upon his father's request and to his mother's dismay. His father thought Jaemin could finally settle down with a woman after you.

Jaemin can't help but grunt, looking up, frustrated and honestly just tired. Everyday he questions why he's even with Yeri. The girl did nothing but drain his wallet, disrespect his mother and treat him like a trophy boyfriend.

"She's not allowed in our apartment anymore," Yeri said as she settles herself on Jaemin's passenger seat.

"What apartment? It's my apartment and you sleep there, Yeri. And you can't just-- ban my mother from my place!" Jaemin has already forgotten the time where him and Yeri never argued.

"Did you see the way she looked at me? And you're gonna sit there and not defend me?" Jaemin admits that his mother did have a distaste with his girlfriend, but never once did his mother did anything to show that. She is not that kind of person and Jaemin's sure he's not the only one to vouch for that.

"She was trying to make a conversation and you blatantly ignored her, Yeri."

"I didn't like her tone." she rolled her eyes and pulled out her phone as Jaemin drove. He decided not to talk anymore, mostly because he doesn't want to argue anymore.

"What're we doing here?" Yeri saw that he parked outside her apartment complex.

"I need time for myself, Yeri. I can't handle you anymore." He expressed with utmost respect.

"Are you kidding me? You're kicking me out of your place?!" Yeri squealed, almost making Jaemin cover his ears.

"You can disrespect me but not my mom, Yeri."

Yeri smirked, crossed her arms on her chest, and looked at Jaemin. "You're trash, Jaemin. Such a fucking mama's boy. I bet this isn't even about your mother, huh? Still about that bitch who left y--"

"Get out or I'm gonna have to drag you out, Yeri. Please." Thankfully, Yeri did get out, but not walking away before she slams the door, making Jaemin flinch a bit. He makes sure the Yeri actually went in the building before he drove off.

He pulled out his phone, texting his mom. He decided that he'll just go back to the restaurant and apologize for Yeri's behavior. He knew that his mom was hurt, and he can't let the night pass without comforting his mom.

Luckily, the restaurant is near where he was so it took him about ten minutes to go back. Getting out of his car, he wondered if his parents are still there.

Looking further inside the restaurant, he didn't notice someone walking out the door so inevitably, he bumped and collided with a man. He quickly bows, "I'm sorry, man."

"No worries," Jaemin was a bit perplexed on how deep the man's voice is, but shrugged it off anyways.

"Felix!"

Jaemin felt his heart stop a beat. He knows that voice.

"I'm here," The man responded.

Jaemin was frozen on the spot. He was afraid to look behind him and put a face in to the voice he just heard, but he's sure as hell he's not leaving this spot without knowing who it is.

"Excuse me," This time, the woman was much closer to him as she walked pass Jaemin.

His breath hitched, time slows down as he saw the back of her head.

Before she could even take a step further, Jaemin grabbed her wrists, not thinking of anything,-- just the fact that he desparately wanted to see her face.

"Hey!-- What,-- Jaemin?"

There you are.

Jaemin gulped before blinking to see if he was just hallucinating but there you really are. "Y/N," he whispered, more to himself.

"You know him?" The man, who he assumes was Felix, asked, looking at Jaemin's hands on your wrist. It brought Jaemin back to reality, and swiftly let go of your hand.

"Y-yeah," Your cheeks burned, not letting your eyes away from Jaemin. It was like everyone else blurred out, and you two were the only ones in the room.

"You okay, man?" Thats when Jaemin realized that his jaw was actually a bit slacked, staring at you for a solid minute now. He shook his head to look at Felix,

"Yeah. Uh, y/n, how-- how are you?" Jaemin's breathing was starting to get abnormal, as he was really shocked to see you here.

"Good," you cleared your throat, "Great, actually. Uhm, Felix, this is Jaemin," "Jaemin, Felix." The two shook hands, Felix was still visibly confused but Jaemin was still stuck on you.

"Old friend?" Felix asked.

"Is that what she told you?" Jaemin, glancing on you.

"Yes?" Felix was starting to feel uncomfortable, as he had no clue what the heck is happening in front of him. You two looked perplexed and out of it, to say the least.

"I--, We need to go, Felix. Hey, uhm, Jaemin-?" It was obvious you were aghast, just like Jaemin.

Jaemin looked back at you again, "Yeah?"

"I'll see you around?" You uttered.

"Okay." Jaemin said quietly.

The two started to walk away from Jaemin, but Jaemin was left there frozen. In his own thoughts, drowing in memories about you. Everything came crashing back on him and it was overwhelming. After so long, you still had that power over him. You still manage to get his guard down.

This is fucking dangerous. Jaemin shouldn't even feel like this. One look, one word-- and its like his whole being fell again. Is destiny truly fucking with him? He took so long-- months, to get you out his system. Or at least burn it so deep inside his brain along with the memories you have. And for what? All of it being opened like a freshly sewed wound, all because of a three second interaction?

That night, Jaemin went home with a feeling so familiar. Like he wanted to find you again. Just like the first time he saw you at that cafeteria. He wonders if he'll see you again.

Actually, no. He will make sure to see you again.

---

"You can't break up with me,"

Jaemin sighed, he didn't know what else to do. This was the only way Jaemin thought of, specially after his encounter with you. He knew the effect you had on him that night wasn't the innocent 'seeing your friend after long time' type of thing. He knew there's more to it.

"I'm sorry," and he really is. He didn't want to string Yeri along, and doesn't want to give her false hope that this relationship is going somewhere.

"Is this about your stupid mom? Fine, I'll apologize!" The thing with his mom was also a big thing in coming to this decision. Jaemin likes to think that even if he didn't see you that night, this breakup was inevitable. It was coming, sooner or later.

"Don't-- don't call my mother like that, Yeri, please. And no, there's more to it. Please, I want a clean breakup," Jaemin didn't want to elaborate, he didn't want to hurt Yeri even more.

"You can't leave me, Jaemin! We have a party to attend-- I already told them about you! Do you want me to be embarrassed?" Of course. Of course its about the fucking party.

Jaemin was a trophy for Yeri. Handsome and rich, Yeri bragged about having him in her palms. Jaemin never complained about it but it does bother him. And Yeri bringing it up now just showed him how Yeri never really cared about this relationship.

"You can find a new boy toy, somewhere else, Yeri. I'm done." He's not gonna lie, there's still a pang of guilt when he walked away from Yeri. He knew it was unavoidable, yet it with you in the picture again, it does play a huge part.

"A fucking toast for the newly single man! I'm so proud of you for letting that devil reincarnate go!" Haechan was beyond sober, as he welcomed Jaemin who just came a few minutes earlier.

"You really did it, huh?" Renjun smiled, putting his arm around Jaemin's shoulder.

"Yeah, I guess." Jaemin shrugged. Every moment feels important to him. He doesn't have any idea when you'll show up again. So he better not drink even a drop of alcohol, just in case.

"Why the long face?" Jeno was buzzed aswell, completely leaning on the bar couch. Eyes barely open, he's been drinking quite a lot lately.

"Nothing," Jaemin doesn't want to say anything about you and his' encounter, he didn't want to jinx it.

The bar was loud and busy, yet Jaemin was quiet and stuffy. He does feel relieved, breaking up with Yeri was a huge weight off of his shoulder. But he can't get off his mind the words you said.

"I'll see you around?"

Where exactly is around? When will you see him? Is it in the same restaurant? Will you text him to meet? Is that Felix guy your boyfriend?

"You're such a bore, Jaemin. Not even a shot?" Its a mystery how Jeno managed to stand on his feet with how drunk he is but he still did, handing Jaemin a shot, which Jaemin refused.

"Not in the mood,"

"Whatever. Y'know, eversince that gi-"

Before Jeno could even finish, Renjun, which had a little to zero alcohol in his system quickly pulled Jeno down beside him.

"I'll sew your mouth close, Lee. Now sit down and let me fucking find the other Lee." He was referring to Haechan, which also is drunk out of his mind, but still ran into the sea of people on the dancefloor.

"I need a breather," Jaemin decided to go outside the bar, but making sure that Jeno is well situated first before leaving the poor man laying in the couch.

In every other situation, he would've loved to match Jeno's energy and got drunk as much as his best friend, but this time he is truly not in the best condition to do so.

As soon as the bar's door closed behind him, the sudden silence was almost deafening. Which Jaemin wouldn't tell if its much worse than being inside, since he was left with only his thoughts and the street in front of him.

He crossed the road into a nearby convenience store, wanting some water or any drink that could possibly soothe his mind.

"Thank you," He bowed to the cashier, as he paid for the drink in hand.

The store was empty. Just him, the staff, and some random music quietly surrounding the store.

He sat by the stools, contemplating if he should just go home. Phone dead, he disregarded the idea of calling Renjun, who he is sure would prefer to be with him in this quiet convenience store rather than to babysit two grown adults who can't seem to handle their alcohol.

Dropping the phone on the side of the table, Jaemin quietly opened and drank the coca cola he bought. He just now realized that this was his dinner. He forgot to eat. Funny, Jaemin being a big advocate of not skipping a meal, skips a meal.

The dingling sound of the door was heard, Jaemin never bothered to look because again, this is a 7/11. People come and go. A slight set of footsteps was also prominent, seemingly roaming around the store.

"Can I sit here?"

Wide eyes, heart skipping a beat. The music was suddenly gone and everything else blurred out.

"Y-Y/N." He stuttered. He can't swiftly grasp the situation before you sat down the stool beside him.

"Hi." Your hair a bit shorter, cheeks a bit fuller, carrying a shade of pink, your figure covered with a thick coat.

You placed a couple of kimbap in front of you and a coca cola, same as his.

"What are you doing here?" Jaemin, carefully picking his choice of words as to not show any signs of discomfort.

"I was passing by and.. actually, no. I followed you here." For a moment there, you sounded like you wanted to lie, but backtracked and told Jaemin the truth.

"Did you now?" Jaemin remembered when he followed you that one time, and it feels like the tables have turned.

"Yeah, figured we needed to talk." You were timid, can't barely see Jaemin eye to eye. From his memories, you were always confident with what you say. So seeing this demeanor in front of him was a change.

"How are you?" Jaemin asked, genuinely curious.

"Never been better," You answered back, with a full chest and a heave of deep breath like you were relieved.

"I'm glad," Every last word was quickly followed by a complete silence.

After a few moments of deep thought, Jaemin wasn't sure what to say. Yes, before you showed up, questions was flooding in his brain. Asking for answers on why you left, why'd you lie and most importantly, why did you break him for no reason.

Jaemin's thoughts mustve been loud, hence the next dentence that came out of your lips.

"I'm guessing you have questions?"

Maybe Jaemin should've had a few shots before, to ease the tension and gain liquid courage, because fuck, he doesn't think he can handle this tonight.

But for the months you were gone, Jaemin isn't gonna pass this rare chance that you showed up, much more, showing up to talk to him properly.

"Why'd you leave?" Three words that circulated Jaemin's mind on those months you were gone. A question he asked himself a lot of times.

You were still for a bit, likely thinking about the answer. Jaemin could explode at any moment, he feels.

"I signed myself up for rehabilitation."

This wasn't the answer Jaemin expected. Its somehow a blow, to him, because he was angry at you for flaking on him for no reason. But now that you answered one of the many questions he had, it made Jaemin regret some of the things he had thought of about you. His guilt crept in.

"I-, I didn't know."

"Only a few knew about that. You were one of the unlucky ones to have suffered from it, so I thought you needed atleast an explanation." You smiled bitterly, still looking outside, whilst Jaemin looked at your side profile.

You continued. "I assume Jiho had filled you up with some of my dilemmas after I left. But trust me, Jaemin. I never intended to hurt you. You're so undeserving of the things I did but I had to make you hate me. I knew you cared for me back then, more than I had anticipated and I never really wanted to give myself that. I knew I can't receive love I didn't deserve. And I can feel it too, Jaem.." you paused.

Jaem. Oh how he missed the way you called him that.

".. I can feel that you really wanted to fix me. And you truly tried your best. But back then I didn't want to be fixed. And its unfair to have you selfishly. I never slept with your friend, I just made you believe that. I wanted you to despise me, to never think about me ever again." Well, you failed on that part, big time.

"Just hoped you gave me a chance to take care of you," Jaemin muttered.

"I'm not that evil to give you a burden like that,"

"You were never a burden to me,"

You let out a humourless grin, "I'd like to believe that, but we both know that's not true. For as long as I remember, I had been apologizing for just.. existing."

"I could've been there, y/n. I could've helped you."

"No, Jaemin. I don't think so, cuz even then, I couldn't even help myself." You spoke with great sincerity.

Another cruel moment of silence passed, and it was the most intense yet. None of you spoke, as if your thoughts were connected and understood each other without even saying a word.

"You really fucked me up, you know." It was now or never for Jaemin. Might as well open the can of worms now, and regret everything later. He might not have the same courage and opportunity as now.

"I did. And I'm so.. so sorry."

"But it's fine, y/n. I was young and naive, I guess I needed that. I already forgave you, fuck it, I don't even need to because I never truly hated you. All I did was love you, and even after you broke me, I still did." Looking into the distance, after so many failed attempts, he finally said it out loud. He was ready to risk it all, again.

"And I knew that, Jaemin. And maybe, I did love you too but back then I didn't know what love is. It was so scary and overwhelming that even from a distance, I already despised that kind of feeling."

"Are you... happy?" Jaemin thought about the man you were with. And at this moment, your answer was crucial, as it was a defining moment of what step or path he should go next.

"Yes. Are you?" Looking at him, you saw his eyes fill with unspoken comprehension of what its like to be happy and sad at the same time.

Happy that you're doing great, sad because he had just accepted the fact that you're much better with somebody else.

"I have no idea." And that was the truth. He wasn't sure if theres a word that could describe how he feels.

"Yeri, right? I heard from someone that you're with her. She seems great," Oh, what a great timing.

"We broke up already."

You widen your eyes and smiled awkwardly, "I'm sorry,"

"No, its okay. It wasn't working anyways. It was bound to happen sooner or later. You and Felix?"

"He's a great friend. He helped me with sobriety and therapy." Friend? Is that so?

"I thought you were dating," Jaemin liked the way this is going, it gave him hope.

"No, not really, never had anyone after you."

Is Jaemin supposed to be proud? Nonetheless, he felt a slight flutter in his chest. He was about to make a decision that will ultimately trash the imaginary walls he tried to build.

"Have.. have you thought about what we could've been?" Oh, what a risky question.

"Yeah, even back then, I always dreamed about an alternate universe where I wasn't so fucked up and actually tried something with you." Okay. You seem fine now, you seem on track. It wouldn't hurt to try again, right? Jaemin wanted to slap himself. Do he really want to risk it again?

"You could still.. try." The answer is yes.

You furrowed your brows, tilted your head a bit, "I don't think you deserve another heartbreak, specially from me, you know?" You chuckled, yet Jaemin was serious. This time, he's set to have you. He has to have you.

"I'll gladly let you break my heart again, y/n. Trust me, you'll only find yourself inside."

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

Maybe Jaemin was setting himself up for another heartbreak, but this time he was certain. He was certain to give it his all-- everything he has to lose. You were worth every piece of his heart.

He kissed your lips like he held his entire life on it, like every moment were his last. Running your hands on his hair, you two blindly roamed around your apartment. Luckily, Jaemin still had the entire apartment sketched in his brain.

You felt his hands lower, lifting up your ass, signaling you to jump and cling onto him. You gladly did, and like a feather, he lifted you without any struggle. Lips still tangled together, Jaemin lowered you into the soft texture of your bed.

"I missed you so much," Jaemin groaned as he parted his lips from you. Seeing your face against the dimly lit room was majestic. Not long before he lowered his face onto your neck, giving it open mouth kisses that sent shivers down your spine.

Slowly, he tugged on your shirt upwards, lifted it and revealed your soft pink laced bra, covering your breast. Jaemin didn't waste time grabbed one of you breast, caressing it gently, just enough to bring you pleasure without discomfort.

"Hmm, I missed this," He groaned again.

You whined, being sensitive to every touch he gave you. His hands worked like magic, pulling down your bra and swiftly latching his mouth on your left nipple, while still caressing the other. "Ah, fuck.. baby." you moaned.

You can feel your core dripping already, desperate for any kind of friction. His expert hands left your boob, yet not leaving your skin, just lowering to the area you were sensitive the most. In a split second, your pants was undone and a cold breeze on your center gave you goosebumps all over. "So wet for me,"

"Yes.. yes, please, touch me." You begged for him. You needed him.

"You don't need to beg, princess." Just then, his middle finger applied pressure on your dripping core, igniting a spark that felt so good-- you couldn't help but buck your hips onto his hands.

He was gonna love you, and you were gonna love him. Tomorrow's uncertain, but today was sure. You were meant to be his, and he's meant to be yours.

Let your heart get what it wants. If you get hurt, then you have to endure. Jaemin endured the entire time and its your time to gamble.

While Jaemin was still devouring every inch of your skin, you took this chance to touch his clothed member- already rock hard, seeking freedom from the confinement of his pants. You traced it before gripping it through the fabric, making Jaemin hiss in pleasure.

"Take.. it off." Barely composing a sentence, Jaemin understood the assignment and pulled away, to undress himself. His top came off first, and just like a reflex, your hands quickly find his toned chest, down to his abs. You can't help but bite your lip, seeing his body again after so long. The only difference is, this time, he has a more mature build.

Tracing your hand down to his lower abdomen, and even much lower, and helped him undo his pants. As he disregarded all of his clothes, he didn't waste time and quickly lowered himself again to you. Kissing you with burning passion, he grind his hips onto yours, and you felt his hard length poking your thigh.

Using your hand, you grabbed it by the base, Jaemin reacting so sensitive made you excited. Your hands doing up and down motion, pointing finger tracing the slit on his pinkish tip.

"Fuck.. fuck baby, god." Jaemin couldn't help but groan deeply, urging you to move faster. Your movement all of a sudden halt, as Jaemin held your wrist, stopping you. "I'm gonna cum if you keep doing that." His dark voice whispered.

"Already?" You smirked at him.

"You underestimate your effect on me, baby." Truly, you were the only person who could melt Jaemin into a puddle if you wanted to.

His hand balancing himself on top of you, as the other held his cock, lining himself onto your entrance.

"Ah.. ah, shit," You moaned, caused by the stretch. A slight tinge of pain but quickly replaced by a wave of intense pleasure as he deeply plunges until you take all of him.

"So.. so fucking tight, oh fuck." Jaemin waited for your signal to keep moving. Which you did, by lifting your hips up to create any sort of movement. He swiftly pull out, just to go in again.

"I love you," Jaemin cried from pleasure, his tempo slowly gaining speed.

"I love you so much," you replied, grabbing his face to look at you as he fucks you with intense affection.

"Y/n, y/n.. I love you." He repeated like a mantra, going in and out repeatedly. You can feel your insides creating a bubble-- soon going to pop. He examines all of your features, "Cum for me." He murmured.

You nodded in response, biting your lip, yet not losing eye contact. A sudden wave of pleasure struck, and before you knew it, you're shaking under him. "I.. I love you."

"I'm cumming, shi..." You locked your legs on his waist, as he stilled so deep, reaching levels of your insides no one has ever reachex before. He cums, deep inside you and you felt his warm, thick ropes of cum paint your insides. His body collapses on top of you, heavy breathing surrounded the apartment.

Honestly, Jaemin didn't care if you hurt him again, Heck, break him again and again. Run away if you can, but he would make sure that he'll be here, always waiting for you. Break his heart for all he cares. You'll only find yourself there.

"Let's go, baby. They can't wait to meet you." Jaemin smiled at you softly, opening the car door before letting you in.

"I really get the feeling that they hate me." You nervously said, as Jaemin went around the car and sat at the driver seat.

"They actually did, back then. But now they're a lot less dumber." You laughed at him.

This was the first time Jaemin will introduce you to his friends. Even tho you knew that they already know you from the past, you wanted to introduce your new self. The self thats much better.

As you arrived at their shared apartment, you can already hear the noise behind the door. You looked at Jaemin with anticipation, as he opened the door.

"There she is! Hi, y/n!" Haechan, which you have encountered before, greeted you with a big smile. He was approaching with wide arms, which Jaemin quickly swats away.

"No." Jaemin simply says as he put his arms around you and dragged you further in the house.

There, you saw Jeno and Renjun playing Jenga. As soon as you sat down, the tower had fallen. Renjun frowning, Jeno with a big smile.

"Oh hi, y/n. Renjun just lost in Jenga, again." The cocky grin was present in Jeno's face.

"That doesn't count! We should play again, this time with y/n!"

You were quiet, but not because you were uncomfortable, but because you were slowly digesting everything. You felt so belonged with these people that its felt a bit weird, in a good way.

You smiled at them, looking back at Jaemin who's walking towards you with a drink in hand. "Thirsty, baby?" His smile was enchanting, and so, so gorgeous.

The time goes on and it all felt natural. It was the first time you saw Jaemin laugh that much, and it made you happier than ever. Then and there, you have concluded that you will never hurt this man again. This time, you'll try to make this work, because you knew he was the only one for you.

And even if the gods and the heaven above curse you for loving selfishly, you wouldn't care. Jaemin is the perfect man for you. And you can't let that smile fade again.

"What're you thinking?" Jaemin whispered, above all the noise from his friends.

"I love you."

And if you thought Jaemin's smile couldn't get any bigger, it did.

"I love you." He answered.

This time, you'll get your happy ending. You choose your happiness and Jaemin. Forever, you will choose Jaemin. Because you realize that after everything, even fiction itself, got nothing on this man.

-end-

A/N: I know it took so long to publish but again, I'm a bit busy! But how was it?? I hope you liked the first installation of my series, diary of the heart breakers! Thank you so much.

taglist: @cutiepeas @legbouk@hyuckissed @bockhyun @hibernatinghamster@shookyungsoo@sundamariis@sharkipoonis@ohmykwonsoonyoung@carelessshootanonymous

next part >> Inevitably Yours

[luveline]

whenever youre free!! can you please write a spencer x reader where we meet spencer during an early season where he’s still cute and awkward maybe we date too but something happens and we don’t see him for a long time only to meet him again when he’s older and hotter (post prison) and there’s still crazy tension after all those years. in love with your writing btw!!! ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

tysm for requesting! hope this is ok :D ♡ 1.2k

cw vaguely suggestive theme

Looking at Spencer, you could almost think you were fresh out of college again, unsure of yourself and in need of a friend. 

He'd been much more than a friend. It's why you're here. 

The cake might have been a bad idea. You hold it between two hands, the subtle smell of chocolate rising from the box's ill-fitting lid. Your breath catches, words coming out wonky, "Hey. Spencer?" 

He looks up from his book, startled at being found, you think. "Y/N?" 

He looks the same. 

Obviously, he's older. He has facial hair and his curls are styled rather than having been left to their own devices, but you feel as hopelessly enamoured with him as you had years ago, because he still smiles like a puppy dog.

You're twice as surprised as he is when he stands from his coffee table to hug you. The cake box wobbles in your hands as he squeezes you, swaying you from side to side, his laugh warm in your ear. 

"What are you doing back here?" he asks, diving backward to see your face. "I didn't think I'd ever see you again." 

"I still had JJ's number, you know, from when I wanted that address, and she texted me to say you'd been released, and I," —your voice curls tighter, are you talking too much?— "know you might not want to hear from me, but I was worried about you. You were my best friend." 

His smile flickers. You press the cake into his hands. 

"That's for you," you say. 

Spencer's wavering smile turns to the box. He sets it down on the table beside his coffee cup and tented book, removing the lid carefully. You remember suddenly how nice his hands are, and the tracing of his fingertips down your bare shoulders. Goosebumps erupt along the ghost of his touch. 

"Well done on not being a criminal," he reads, snorting. "Funny. Little too soon." 

You feel like your stomach's fallen out, but he drops the act with another laugh. 

"Oh, you're still a jerk," you say. "I'm glad something hasn't changed." 

"You think I've changed?" he asks. 

"You didn't get any taller, if that's what you're asking." 

Spencer's smile turns fond. It's the sweet, sticky smile he'd always give you before he'd tell you he loved you, or that you were the best best friend ever. Or that last night, when you followed him hand in hand down the long hallway to his bedroom. 

"I wasn't that much of a jerk, was I?" he asks. 

"No, you weren't." You hold your hands behind your back. "Could I join you? Just for a bit?" 

"You brought me a cake. I can't say no, can I? Of course you can sit down. I'll get you a coffee, okay?" 

He touches his hand to your arm as he passes. You sit down in the seat across from him, sick with what-if and should-have. What if I could've stayed? Maybe I should have done more. But when Spencer ignored the letters you sent him while he was incarcerated, you figured you'd done more than he wanted. The cake was a last ditch effort, spurred on by JJ's text that read, I think he'd be really happy to see you. 

Spencer puts a china cup down in front of you. You take a sip, muscle memory, and grin at him shyly as he slides into the seat across from you. "You remembered." 

"I remember everything." 

"Right. Your photographic memory." 

"Eidetic, and sure, but I wouldn't forget about you." He reads your shyness for what it is, worry you've overstepped. He's too perceptive to trick. "I think I tried, but… I have so many bad memories, I wanted the good ones to keep." 

You can't imagine the things he experienced in prison. JJ couldn't tell you much. You knew from how you had to address his letters alone that he was sent to a general correctional facility in Mexico, rather than the protective custody he'd needed. He doesn't look terrible considering, but you've barely seen him since you had to leave. He's aged well. The only worry is his dark under eyes. 

"We had a good time," you say gently. "I knew you'd need that. That's why I sent you all those letters, you know? I wasn't trying to come back into your life, I know I don't deserve it after I left, but I couldn't stop thinking about you by yourself." 

You stare at his book. 

"How many letters did you send?" he asks. 

"I don't really remember." 

"I didn't get one." He grimaces. "I didn't get any from my mom, either. Think it was a coincidence?" 

Spencer's time in was kind of sick. He stabbed himself, made friends with criminals, played a lot of chess, and learned how to make tacos in a doritos bag. It was also arguably the loneliest and most degrading time of his life. 

One coffee becomes two, two becomes a third to go. You feel a hundred emotions but there's one that stands out the most as you drift around Pentagon City with him —wanting. You want him to be your best friend again, to rub your back and hold you when you're tired, to take you grocery shopping in his beat up P130. You want him to kiss you like he had, like he was searching for something, but he's changed so much that you don't know if your Spencer is still in there, under everything, or if he'd even want to.

"You live in the same apartment?" you ask. 

"Can you imagine how much it would cost me to move that many books? Paying the rent turns out cheaper," he says, the two of you walking in the grey street. "What about you? You didn't come all the way here to see me." 

"I actually did." You rub up the length of your upper arm, sheepish. "I did, Spencer." 

For a while, all you can hear is the plastic rustling of the bag held in his hand. 

"Thank you for writing to me. I didn't get to read them, but it makes a difference." 

You lift your head to meet his eyes. He holds your gaze, a charge behind his dark brown eyes. You used to think his irises and his pupils were one and the same, but you can see now that there are flecks of light in his irises. His hedging of thick lashes kiss in the corners as he slowly, slowly smiles. 

You glare at him. "Don't." 

"Don't what?" 

"You know what. You're doing that thing. Pretending you're not trying to make me nervous." 

"I'm not doing that. Flustered, but not nervous." Is he smirking?

"Flustered," you repeat, your smile stupidly big now, cheeks aching. "Yeah, right, Reid."

His pinky brushes yours. You don't have any proof that he's doing it purposefully, but he is. 

"Do you want to get something to eat? You can tell me what you were writing in your letters. I'd really, really like to know." His voice is threaded with a familiar timidity for the first time since you reunited. 

There you are, you think happily. "Sure. You buy me a sticky bun from our old place and I'll tell you all my written secrets." 

"Deal." 

[hwaflms]

𐙚˙⋆.˚ nct dream reaction to you touching yourself!

‧₊˚ 💭 ✩彡 , , 2.5k, smut under the cut [cw: masturbation, degradation, voyeurism, fingering, very mild dubcon in jaemin’s, nudes, allusions to phone sex, established relationship in most, i think that’s it]

♡ mark . . . the poor baby had just gotten back from practice and was nearing the bedroom door when he heard some sounds of what he thought was you in pain or distress. being the sweet boyfriend he was, he hurriedly went to open the door, but the sight that greeted him was certainly not one he was expecting. you were laid out on the bed, your pants pulled only halfway off your legs as if you were too desperate to even bother taking them off fully, a hand stuffed in your underwear as you threw your head back and let out the prettiest sounds, looking so blissful and fucked out. your eyes shot open at the disturbance that was mark's arrival, the light blush coating your cheeks nothing in comparison to the bright, tomato-red one that decorated his. "fuck, um– i'm sorry, lemme just– i'm just gonna go", he mumbles his way into the bathroom, bumping into the door while trying to enter, but you both knew he looked for too long. now what was he supposed to do? it's not like that godly an image of you is going to leave his head anytime soon, no, of course not, he wouldn't be able to stop thinking about it for days, weeks, months even. sprawled out on the bed like that, lips parted and letting out such dirty, magical sounds– fuck, he couldn't help letting his hand travel into his pants in a similar fashion to you. before he knew it, he was jerking himself off to the thought of you (something he had definitely done before, but he had some wonderful new material now), pumping his cock up and down while his breathing became laboured, but in all his haste and pleasure, he had "forgotten" to lock the door. "um, need a little help there?"

♡ renjun . . . you thought renjun texting you “pleaseee baby, come over tn” meant that the two of you would spend time together until you eventually fell asleep, which did happen for a while until your boyfriend excused him to go play “one game with the boys”. though you rolled your eyes at him, you were fine with him playing a game or two, figuring you could just be on your phone for a bit. you weren’t, however, expecting to be sat on your phone for over an hour, with renjun now having his headphones on (you don’t know what the point was, though, you could still hear all the slurs being shouted mutedly from them). “renjun”, you grouched, but he doesn’t even turn to face you. “if you wanna leave me for a man, just say that.” he does laugh at this, but he pleads “one last one”, making you sigh and slump back down on the bed. you had chosen the pretty, new lace underwear you had bought the other day to wear tonight, but now you’re too salty to let him take it off you. deciding to take matters into your own hands, you shimmy out of your shorts, rubbing circles over your underwear with your eyes trained on his back. if he was too busy to touch you, what’s stopping you from doing it yourself? you try and fail to stifle your moans with your arm as you slip your hand into your underwear, rubbing your clit for a moment before dipping your fingers into your entrance. “renjun…”, you call out again, but both of you know it sounds different this time, and he glances over his shoulder at you. it’s almost comical the way he does a double take, pushing his headphones off of one ear, to get a clear look at you. slowly but surely, the tips of his ears and cheeks are dusted with red, but his eyes still shyly observe the hand concealed by your underwear. “oh…”, he sounds out while you throw your head back and whine, his headphones now fully off and you could hear whoever he was on call with distantly calling out “renjun? renjun, what the fuck we’re losing?” he shuts off his computer screen without even looking at it, getting up and slowly walking over to you, sinking down on the edge of the bed. “you just gonna sit there or you gonna help me?”, you grumble, but his eyes don’t miss the way your hips buck up. “wanna watch.”

♡ jeno . . . you swear you had meant to wait for him to return, you had tried your best to busy yourself while jeno was at schedules. he had told you the exact time that he would return, no earlier, no later, than 7:30 p.m. and there he was, promptly unlocking your front door at 7:29 p.m., expecting you to be reading a book in your room, or baking brownies-for-one in your underwear in the kitchen. he definitely wasn’t expecting the sight that greeted him. he had given you one rule for when he was away at work, to “not touch what’s mine”, one simple rule. you seemed eager enough to please him before he left, so he certainly wasn’t expecting to hear moans coming from the kitchen. he watches you for all of five seconds, back facing him with one hand disappearing into the waistband of your shorts, head thrown back a little as you leaned against the counter. “what are you doing?”, the sharp, gruff way in which he says it make you stop immediately, yanking your hand out of your shorts and holding it behind you. it was one thing if you were pleasuring yourself in the bedroom, but right out here? in the kitchen? jeno promptly walks over to you, reaching over and clasping the hand behind your back tightly, jerking it over to him. your fingers all but glisten when held under the ceiling light, and your cheeks redden at the short “pathetic” he spits while looking at you. not breaking the heavy eye contact, he closes his lips over your two fingers, swirling his tongue around them before releasing them with a ‘pop!’. the next thing you know, your face is being pressed against the cold granite surface of the counter hard, while jeno’s other hand holds both your wrists together behind your back. “you know how to count, right?”, he asks demeaningly, and while he lets go of your head, your cheek is still pressed against the counter so hard you can see the condensation form as you breath, nodding your head before he yanks your shorts down with such force that you can still feel the burn on your hips five seconds later. he places the palm of his hand flat against your ass, pulling your underwear up to reveal more flesh. “i’m gonna show you what happens to whores when they don’t follow a simple rule.”

♡ haechan . . . “well, well, well," you could practically hear the smirk in his voice, tone dripping, pouring with desire, just sounding so sultry. your eyes shot open at the sound of him, squealing shortly and rushing to cover yourself up with the blanket. "what do we have here?", he cooed from the door, one foot in front of the other and a hand placed against the doorframe, leaning against it. "f-fuck off, hyuck", you replied breathlessly, cheeks dusted with pink due to your embarrassment and also the rush you were feeling from touching yourself. he wasn't supposed to be back so early, you thought you were going to be alone for a little while longer; clearly you were wrong. "fuck off? did you mean 'fuck me'?", he drawled, letting out a half scoff and half chuckle, slowly sauntering towards you. “why don’t you show me what you were doing there?”, his suggestion sounds more like an order, and its like you lose the ability to think when he reaches over you to lead the hand straying away from your pussy right back, inclining his head to the side expectantly. under his urging, watchful eyes, you continue your previous actions, eyes widening when hyuck lets out an almost pornographic moan at the sight. sinking your fingers deeper into yourself, you whimper out of pure frustration from the fact that these were your fingers instead of his, and you swear you are almost in tears when he says, “stop”. he’s quick to replace your fingers with his own, coating his digits in your wetness before pumping two into you without any warning. “think you can give me three? maybe four orgasms?”, he cooes, tutting when you shake your head ‘no’. “i think we’re gonna find out.”

♡ jaemin . . . “aren’t you sweet?”, to say hearing your roommate jeno’s friend’s sultry voice startled you would be an understatement, fully believing you were home alone when you started pleasuring yourself. “jaemin– what the fuck–”, a blushing, bumbling mess, you’re quick to yank your blanket over your partially naked body, not knowing how long he’d been standing there watching you or how he had gotten into your house in the first place, choosing to ask about the latter first. “how the fuck did you get in? and did no one ever teach you how to knock?”. tilting his head to the side, jaemin raises his eyebrows but makes no efforts to hide the way his eyes scanned over your blanket-covered body, tracing your hips, collarbones, legs with his gaze. “jeno gave me the keys. and that’s not fair, the door wasn’t shut. besides, you called me”, he replies coolly, taking a step into the room but leaving the door wide open, as if you invited him in. “i heard you call my name in that pretty little voice of yours, but i thought you were hurt. didn’t think you were fucking yourself with your fingers to the thought of me.” you move to further cover yourself up as he walks closer to you, embarrassed out of your mind that he both heard you moan his name and watched you touch yourself. but what he does next really has you shocked– eyes never leaving yours, his hand snakes over to his pant-covered cock, gripping it with a satisfied hiss, a smirk curving on his lips when he sees your look of surprise and…desire??? “you see how hard i am for you, pretty?”, he all but moans out and you do see, the outline of his cock straining against the material of his sweatpants and making your mouth almost water at the thought of it. without another word, he’s in front of you, pulling his raging boner free from his pants. “what do you say we give jeno a little show when he comes back?”

♡ chenle . . . “damn, you started without me?” after enjoying the dinner you had cooked for the two of you, you suggested taking a shower together before slipping into bed to watch a show. following the routine that you had wherein one of you would cook and the other would clean, chenle grabbed your plate and his, placing them in the sink and telling you that he’ll be there in about ten minutes after he finished washing the dishes. figuring you could just get undressed and enjoy the extra space in the shower before your boyfriend joined you, you opted to start without him, but leaving the door unlocked for him. the second the hot water hits your body, you are relaxed, letting it soak your hair and cover your body. you trail your hands along your body to further spread the water, but soon you can’t ignore the dull thud coming from your core when you reach your inner thighs. grazing your fingers against yourself and testing the waters, you slowly begin your ministrations, spreading your folds with more intent now. another two minutes in and you’re blatantly touching yourself, head resting against the glass of the shower, steam engulfing its expanse while you sigh out of bliss. chenle, having left the dishes to dry, decided to join you, ridding himself of his clothes and finding the bathroom door to be partially open. when he’s greeted by the sight of you, your back is facing him, but it doesn’t take a genius to understand what you were doing. when you finally hear his voice, you look over your shoulder in surprise and slight embarrassment, but that is soon replaced with pure lust when your eyes mirror the look in his. “thought i’d get a head start”, you offer, slowly picking up the pace with your hand. “is that so?”, he muses, placing his hand over yours but not stopping your actions. “we both know that i can make you cum much faster than you can.”

♡ jisung . . . when you first started dating your boyfriend jisung, you didn’t realise just how much time you’d be spending on your own. if he wasn’t away at practices, he was busy filming various videos and content, so a large portion of your day was spent waiting for him. this was not to say you were unsatisfied with your relationship, you still got to spend time with him and when you did, it was time well spent. all you were saying is that you got a little lonely and bored at times, and that would explain why you were currently standing by the sink, debating whether you should hit send. you had just finished taking a couple photos of yourself during a moment of confidence and horniness and now they sat in the message bar of yours and jisung’s dms, waiting to be sent. you and jisung had gone there multiple times, but nudes were unexplored territory, yet you thought, fuck it, and hit send. even though you know he’s busy, it doesn’t take long before the ‘delivered’ changes to a ‘seen’, and you watch as the typing bubbles appear and disappear a number of times. after five minutes or so, you’re starting to worry and overthink, biting your lip when you see that jisung is now trying to call you. you pick up and play it off with as much confidence as you can, but jisung sounds the opposite– breathing heavy and voice quiet, like he’s trying to make sure no one hears him, and you hear the sound of a lock clicking. “why would you– are you–”, he blubbers, clearly at a loss for words and you can just picture him, cheeks coated with a sheen of red, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing. “what are you doing right now?”, he asks in a goofy manner and you can’t help your chuckle at the sound of his shy voice, cooing into the speaker. “i was missing you, sungie…”, you mewl, positively beaming when you hear him audibly gulp. “was thinking about you.” his breathing quickens and he mumbles “thinking of me?”, before he clears his throat. “what about me?” you smile at his inability to balance his shyness and desire, and you tell him what you were thinking about, soon hearing the telltale sound of a zipper being pulled down.

[sincerelyneo]

no judgement | l.mk

“i can be your lover or your shoulder to cry on, you can be whoever you like”

💿now playing: no judgement by niall horan

❯ summary: Mark’s shocked to see you at his front door step crying, but he isn’t surprised. You do this all the time - get a new boyfriend and forget about your childhood best friend. And the minute that asshole dumps you, you always want him to pick up the pieces. And he will. He always does.

❯ pairings: mark x fem!reader (brief mention of yuta)

❯ genre: friends to strangers to lovers? smut, angst

❯ words: 4.9k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, protected sex, lowkey sub!mark, hookup, rebound sex, glasses kink, big dick mark bc yes, oral sex (m receiving), nipple play, slight begging, yuta is an asshole for the plot, reader is also kinda mean, mentions of cheating (not between mark + y/n), slight unrequited love, use of ‘pretty girl’, reader uses she/her pronouns.

Mark thinks his mind is playing tricks on him. I mean - it would make sense - the last time he’d checked the clock on his desk it was 12:17 am. So, there’s no way the light knocking on his front door is really happening…right? 

He tries to focus on the papers in front of him - a work assignment that was due last week that he’d already managed to get an extension on. He knows his boss will have his balls if he doesn’t have it completed and on his desk by 8:00 am sharp tomorrow (today). 

However, Mark’s fears of premature insanity are put to a quick end this time when the knocking is paired with an unnecessarily loud yelling through his letter box. 

“Mark Lee if you don’t open this door right now, I swear I’ll kick your ass the next time I see you.” 

Now that - the sound of your voice - wasn’t in his imagination. 

You bang harder, clear that you're using a fully clenched fist to make as much noise as possible.  “I’m serious dude, I’ve kicked your ass before, and I’ll do it again. Now open. The. Door.” 

Mark knows he should just ignore you, pretend that he’s sleeping and focus on his work; but, he hasn’t seen you in months, and you are supposed to be his best friend after all. He can’t just leave you out on the street at this hour — he won’t — what sort of friend would he be?

He rises from his desk, removes his glasses, and places them gently on the wooden surface before pinching the bridge of his nose.

You knock (pound) again. 

“‘Alright alright, jeez, I’m coming,” he says, followed by a small curse as he ushers through his hallway to the front door. 

As he swings the door open, he’s almost hit with a nasty sucker punch to the cheek as you simultaneously raise your fist to knock again.

“Woah there, calm down, you’re gonna get me a noise complaint,” he flinches. 

“I think it’s a little too late for that,” you point to the house next door, “That woman has been glaring at me from her window since I got here.” 

Mark peers out of his house, the cold night air nipping at the tips of his ears, and sees his neighbour looking down shaking her head disapprovingly at him. He raises his hand in a feeble apology, with a tight-lipped smile to ease the edge, but it doesn’t, he knows it doesn’t and he knows he’s going to have to do a lot of ass kissing in the morning. 

“Well, Mrs Kim and her husband have just had a baby.” 

He watches you shrug then grimace, “How was I supposed to know that? They didn’t have one the last time I was here.” 

It’s now when Mark takes in the person standing in front of him, a mere silhouette of his childhood best friend. You’re barefoot, which already raises questions in his mind, and a bottle of wine is in your hand. Your hair is dishevelled and mascara smudged under the bottom of your eye – which makes sense since he can see the faded redness from where he knows you’ve been crying. 

 “So, you gonna let me in or what? I’m freezing my ass off out here.”

Well obviously, Mark thinks, you’re wearing nothing but a short black dress, covered by a thin sheer blazer leaving your legs completely bare in the middle of winter. Your teeth chatter and he has to suppress the smile threatening to dance on his lips because it reminds him of when the two of you used to mess around in the snow during winter break back in high school.

But he pushes those memories to the side, just like his front door, as he makes enough room for you to slip into his house. As you step inside, you waste no time making yourself comfortable - old habits die hard you guess - remembering how things used to be.

You remove the blazer you're wearing and walk over to Mark's desk, draping it over the back of his chair. Your eyes fall on the sheets of paper scattered across the surface, partially covered by his glasses. You recall that he had stopped wearing them during junior year, opting for contacts instead - a decision you found disappointing. You had always liked his glasses; they made him look kind of... cute.

“I’m not interrupting you, am I?”

Yes. 

“Nah, not really,” Mark shrugs following in from behind you. 

“Really?” You ask picking up a sheet of paper as you raise an eyebrow, “Marketing campaign for neo gummies, on my desk Monday 8:00 am.”

There’s a smile on your face as you read it because it’s nice to know that the Mark standing in front of you is the same as the one you grew up with. He was always the last person to hand in his college assignments, and school science projects; but don’t get it wrong, he’d always ace them. 

“Don’t worry about it, I’ve basically finished it.”

Mark’s lying, and you can easily tell by the way his arm reaches up to scratch the back of his neck. It's a mannerism you've become aware of, noticing how he used to do it when you asked him for his opinions on some of your uglier fashion choices throughout high school. 

“You sure?” You add, “I wouldn’t want you getting in trouble with your boss or anything. Especially now that you live in this fancy-ass townhouse, your mortgage payments must be crazy.”

Mark shakes his head with a smile, reaching for his glasses and putting them back on. “They’re not that crazy…”

You give him a knowing look, his living room alone is practically the size of most apartments in the city. But you didn’t expect anything less from him, he’d always worked hard for everything he had. He graduated with flying colours, found a high-paying job after college, bought a nice house; and you’re sure that one day he’d secure himself a nice girl to live in it with him. 

What you’re trying to say is Mark Lee had something to show for himself, which is more than you can say after you took a more leisurely approach to college. Mark had always worked a little too hard for your liking, or maybe you just worked a little too easy for his. Either way, he’s the one with his life put together and you’re just…standing barefoot in his living room, looking a mess, with a bottle of alcohol in your hand.  

“Well then, since I’m not imposing, how ‘bout a drink?” You suggest, waving the bottle of wine in the air in an attempt to win him over and distract yourself from your own reality. As shitty as it sounds, you come to Mark to escape the chaos of your own life, so dwelling on comparisons isn't something you want to keep doing.

For Mark though, he knows he shouldn't indulge in a drink – after all, the work assignment on his desk is practically begging to be completed. But he's always struggled to say no to you, and he's well aware that you know that too. It's why you're so comfortable knocking on his door in the early hours of the morning when most of the city is asleep; you know he'll always open up for you.

And that’s exactly why he’s heading into his kitchen and rooting through his cabinets until he finds two wine glasses. 

When he comes back into the living room, he finds you standing by the fireplace. It's not unusual, considering you were freezing just moments ago on his doorstep from your attire. However, what catches him off guard is that you're not warming yourself by the fire; instead, you're holding a picture – Mark's favourite one – taken by his parents on the day you got your wisdom teeth removed.

"No way you kept this," you groan, though there's a hint of laughter in your voice.

"Of course I did. You were completely out of it on anaesthesia, going on about marrying Lee Taemin," Mark replies.

You squeeze your eyes shut, remembering the way you sent the hot senior you had a crush on in your freshman year a DM in your high state. “Oh gosh, don’t remind me.”

But truthfully, that's not the sole reason Mark kept that picture, or why he still chooses to display it despite having hundreds of clearer, better ones of the two of you together. He treasures that particular photo because it was the day you told him you loved him – although you never brought it up again. Mark pins it down to you not remembering from the anaesthetic, but that photo, it’s the last slither of hope he has left. 

“Well, I must say, Mark Lee, you have had quite the glow-up since your high school days,” you laugh putting the picture back on the fireplace. 

Mark can't believe his cheeks are warming up as if he were that same teenager – pathetic, he thinks. And he wants to say the same about you, but he hardly recognizes you. You're a completely different person from the girl in the picture, and while he loves you, truly, it doesn't change the fact that you're a mess sitting before him.

To his defence, it's impossible not to notice it; he saw it the moment he opened the door and saw your smudged makeup and raw eyes – you’re defeated. And even though he knows precisely why, he still asks.

 "What are you doing here, Y/N?"

You swallow, “Can’t I just come and see my best friend?”

“No, you can’t.”

His words carry a double-edged sword, both an accusation directed at you and an expression of the hurt he's experienced from your repeated instances of ghosting him over the last few months. 

You begin pouring yourself a generous glass of the wine you brought along. If you were going to have this conversation with him, you weren't about to do it sober.

“Yuta broke up with me.”

And there it is. You always do this –  get a new boyfriend and forget about your childhood best friend. And the minute the asshole in question dumps you, you always want him to pick up the pieces. 

And Mark hadn't forgotten the name Yuta; in fact, it had been seared into his mind ever since you posted a picture with him on your Instagram account, looking all lovey-dovey. And then Mark had gone into full stalker mode – because of course he did – he always did. But the thing with Yuta was that he was one step ahead. One particularly awful day at work, when Mark wanted to check your account, he found himself blocked.

Honestly, Mark doesn’t blame Yuta, he’d be lying if he said all his thoughts about you were completely innocent, but you’d never blocked him over a guy before. He's accustomed to the isolation, the ghosting, and the personality changes that come with you getting a new boyfriend; but being digitally blocked by you was a new low. It's safe to say Mark had already formed his opinion about your new ex-boyfriend: he was definitely an asshole.

"Why did he break up with you?" he asks, not out of genuine concern, but rather out of selfish relief. Still, he knows it's the right thing to do.

“He found someone else, or I found him fucking someone else,” you spit bitterly, “and do you know what? That fucker didn’t even give me a chance to grab my shoes before he kicked me out.”

You take a long gulp from your glass, the liquid burning slightly as it goes down your throat, and then you flop back on the sofa. Your movements are heavy, weighed down by more than just the alcohol in your system. As you sink into the cushions, a wave of emotion crashes over you, threatening to engulf you completely. It's a moment of vulnerability that you've been holding back, and tears prickle at the corners of your eyes. You try to fight them, push down the rising tide of emotions, but it's futile. 

"Hey, hey, it's okay," he reassures, quickly taking a seat beside you on the sofa and resting a gentle hand on your thigh, where he begins to rub small, soothing circles into your skin, just like he used to do. "You can stay here tonight."

You groan into your hands, you can’t believe you're acting like this – pathetic – and it has you immediately defensive. “Don’t look at me like that,” you mutter, so quiet Mark almost misses it.

“Like what?”

“All judgy.”

“When have I ever judged you, Y/N?” he questions, his tone gentle, “I’m always your shoulder to cry on, we’re past the judgement stage,”

"I don't cry that much," you protest weakly.

“Well…” he starts, that teasing look in his eye you love.

In response, you push his chest playfully, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Because you’ve missed this – missed him.

And that’s the part that always stings the most: how effortlessly you two slip back into each other's company. Despite not speaking for a couple of months, it's like you didn’t lose any time. And perhaps that's why Mark finds it so easy to keep forgiving you, and why you find it so natural to slide in and out of his life and then expect him to mend your broken heart.

Mark grabs the hand you used to push his chest and looks at you seriously but gently, “Seriously, Y/N, you can just be yourself with me, just like it’s always been.”

His words resonate with you, stirring something deep within the pit of your stomach. You meet his gaze with glossy eyes, and in that moment, you feel an overwhelming surge of emotion. Without hesitation, you lean in and press your lips to his. 

It's a tender kiss, soft and sweet just how you expected Mark’s lips to be. And he melts into it just as much as you do, if not more so. It’s like he craves it, like he’s hungry for it. And he is because you – his first-ever crush, the girl he’s been in love with since he could remember – is pressing her lips to his. The teenager in him is jumping up and down right now.

Just as you're about to deepen the kiss, your face bumps into his glasses, causing both of you to pause as they sit askew on his face. Mark blushes and begins to fumble with them, but just as he's about to take them off, your hand wraps around his and stops him.

“Mmmm. Keep ‘em on,” you bite your lip as you reposition them on the bridge of his nose. “I like them.”

“I didn't realize you had a glasses kink,” he teases.

“Neither did I...just like them on you.”

That triggers something inside of him because his tongue lightly sweeps over your bottom lip where he nips it with his teeth. One of his hands reaches up to cup the nape of your neck; the other finds its way to the hem of your dress, intrusive fingers brushing over your bare skin, making you gasp.

He stills.

Did he just fuck this up? Was he reading it wrong?

There’s a fraction of a beat where you just breathe against him, and Mark feels a twinge of self-consciousness. And just when he’s about to apologise, you dive into him and all reservations are thrown out the window as you give him the green light. 

His hand wraps around your waist and he pulls you over his lap to straddle him. It gives him all the access he needs to grab your thighs and lift you up as he stands. He keeps your lips connected as he wraps your legs around his waist, pressing into you just enough to feel the swelling in his crotch. 

If you thought he was hungry for it before, now he’s starving. 

Your arms wrap around his neck, your breasts crushing against his chest. Your hips start to move against him without any control, almost like it’s instinctual. You suck on his tongue and he groans. And God if it isn’t the sexiest sound you’ve ever heard. 

“You feel so fucking good, Y/N,” he says into your mouth, “Are we really doing this?”

You smile against his lips, “We’re doing this.”

You both take that as a confirmation to go harder, kissing like you’ve been starved of each other for years, and Mark supposes you have. His body moulds to yours and you feel his hand wander to your ass making your dress lift as he carries you out of the living room. 

When you see him heading for the staircase you know exactly where his head is at, and when he opens his bedroom door with you still in his arms, you feel wetness pool right between your legs. 

He drops you on the bed so gently and carefully not to hurt you – because even though he’s so goddamn horny right now – he’s still Mark. When your back hits the whites of his sheets it gives you a moment to look at him, his chest is heaving, lips swollen and cheeks flush. His hair is tousled and it makes your blood run cold. 

He looks like pure sex. Hot sex. Good, filthy, all-night-long sex. And you want him, more than you’ve ever wanted any man before in your life.

Mark kneels on the bed in the space between your legs, coming close enough to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, and you wonder if he sees you the same way you see him right now. He brushes your cheek gently with his thumb and you lean into his caress and plant a small kiss against his palm. 

His lips meet yours again as his hands slip between you two. They glide up your leg, to your stomach to under your dress, where he finds you not wearing a bra as your nipples pebble under his rough hands. 

Instinctively, your arms stretch over your head, reluctantly breaking the kiss so he can tug the material off and over you, lips crashing back together as you roll your hips into his with desperation and need. 

Mark groans when he pulls away to look at your naked chest in front of him, it’s a picture he thinks. One that needs to be hung up in an art gallery or some shit – actually now that he thinks about it – he hates the idea of you being on display like that for someone else.

His fingers wind themselves in your hair, a delightful shiver skittering along your body as you soften into his touch. You can’t help but grin suggestively as you look him in the eyes, top teeth holding down on your lower lip as your hands creep low enough to hook into the band of his pyjama bottoms. 

Mark practically whimpers as your hand teases at the elastic, “Please.”

The plea has you smiling wider, knowing exactly what he wants. You remove his bottoms without a second thought, the same time he strips from his t-shirt. His cock springs free, thick and long and straining so eagerly for you. 

You get a thrill knowing you’re the one who’s made him this hard and that makes you want to please him badly. So you do, taking control and flipping him over to be underneath you. He gasps at the motion and then he almost cums untouched at the sight of you kneeling between his legs, lowering yourself down just enough to kiss the tip of his cock.

The teasing touch sends a chill right through him. He leans back on his arms just to see you, eyebrows strained as he concentrates, glasses slightly fogged – he wants to remember exactly what you look like like this. You’re intoxicating, strong enough for him to get drunk on.

“So pretty,” he murmurs under a soft breath and you blush.

You lick your lips, focusing on his cock, flattening your tongue from the base all the way up to his head, where the slit is leaking with pre-cum. You hear him suck in a breath and it makes you smile. 

You like knowing he’s needy, teasing him to ignite small reactions, but continuing to do so would only be hell for you; because right now you want nothing more than to suck on his cock like it’s the last thing you’ll ever taste. 

You wrap your hand around his shaft and don’t waste another second before your mouth is sinking to suck on him. You manage all you can – there’s a lot of him – and use your fingers to move up the length you don’t swallow, stroking him painstakingly slow.   

As you kiss and lick at him, Mark is going mad because it’s your mouth. Your mouth is wet and hot and currently wrapped around him good enough that his thighs have started trembling. 

It’s not long before his hands find your hair and he helps you to slide more of his cock inside, knowing exactly when to stop instead of making you take too much. But he’s big and thick and your mouth barely covers him – which he hates – it feels like a reminder that he’s not made for you. 

The thought has him letting out a growl, which catches you by surprise from the whimpering mess he was seconds ago. The grip he has on your hair tightens. 

“Fuck, Y/N, suck me harder…” The dirty words sound dominant at first, but they trail off as you continue sucking on him, a lot like you’re melting him, and you fucking love that idea. 

The thought of having him be so desperate for you is making you wetter and needier. And it’s that need that has you reaching up to graze his nipples with your fingers. Mark finds the chill of your cold digits distinctive, responding with a mewl that rings between the walls of his room. 

You can't believe such a small touch makes him so…responsive. 

Every tug on his sensitive peak is enough to pull a sound from his pink lips, enough to make him writhe his hips and edge his cock further into your mouth. 

You twist and pinch and watch as Mark’s face twists in the feeling, mouth dropping open to release a stuttered breath. It’s so sensual - so carnal. 

You pull off his cock with a sickening pop, looking up at him with spit-covered lips. “Who would have guessed your nipples would be so sensitive?” 

Your hand stays at a steady pace, stroking him slowly as you speak. Mark shivers from the loss of your warm mouth around him, but there’s still a part of him that’s glad you stopped. But not because he doesn’t want this — he does, so badly — but because he was starting to feel his cock’s overwhelming urge to twitch with his orgasm. And there was no fucking way he was going to cum before he’d even buried himself inside you. 

In a cooling breath, he replies, “Only sensitive for you.” 

Warmth flushes on your face, and the arousal soaking between your legs begs to soak his cock. He’s so cute when he is all red-faced and whiny, eyes closed tightly as his brows knit together. And you suppose his own state of neediness triggers yours. 

“Want you inside of me now, Mark,” you pant, “Need it.” 

“Fuck~” his voice drips like honey as he moans, hands moving to grab at your waist to flip you under him.

You push yourself further up the bed and he crawls after you. It’s only now he realises the lace barrier still on your skin standing between you and his cock. Your panties are dark blue and they look so pretty against your skin.

He leans down, kissing the inside of your knee, letting his fingers slip up your ankle to cradle your smooth calf.

“Sometime tonight,” you tease.

But Mark likes to go slow, he likes to savour in your sight, study your body to remember every detail for his next late-night fantasy. He wants to bask in you being so bare and so ready for him — not your ex-boyfriend — him. 

He skims his hands further up your bare legs until he slides your underwear down and disregards them somewhere on the floor. Then, he wraps his arms around you, holding you close, pressing your chests together skin to skin. He likes it like that — being so close and so intimate with you that it's almost raw. 

He reaches into his nightstand and pulls out a condom. You don’t take your eyes off him once as he rips it open with his teeth and rolls it down the entirety of his length. Heat pools in your stomach because this is happening — and that makes your pussy throb. 

He keeps his eyes on yours as he lines himself up with your entrance, pushing inside of you, breathless. You can’t help but sink your head back into the mattress, eyes closing.

“Eyes open.”

You lazily blink them open.

“Eyes always on me pretty girl,” he demands, thrusting into you. 

You’ve never felt anything like him. You feel so full. He’s everywhere. Even your lungs and head are filled with him.

“Taking me so well pretty,” he groans.

His praise has you gushing, whining with the feeling of him stuffing you. It’s not awkward like the first time having sex with someone can be. It feels like you’ve always been doing this.

“You’re okay?” he asks.

He sounds calm, but you can see the restraint that he’s barely holding on to by the tightening in his jaw, and the tension in his brow.

“More than okay. Just fuck me, Mark. Please.”

He brushes his lips over yours and whispers, “Oh I plan to.”

You smile, but it’s quickly gone as he starts to move, fucking you slowly, then quicker and quicker, and harder and faster. The headboard is banging against the wall, surely denting it, and you know if the neighbours weren’t already pissed about your knocking they’d definitely be pissed now. 

And selfishly, you can’t find it in you to give a shit because he’s like a machine, working thrusts into you at all the right angles to elicit sweet moans from your lips. 

You’re panting and groaning like a bitch in heat. Mind fuzzy with euphoria as your flesh slaps loudly together. If college you knew that Mark Lee, your best friend, was about to give you an orgasm she would have laughed in your face. 

But, God, the man can fuck. 

He urges you onto his cock harder, clit rubbing against his pelvic bone, each time your hips connected in powerful thrusts. 

“Oh God, Mark,” you try your best to keep your eyes open, but the pleasure is threatening to consume you. 

“That’s it. Cum on my cock pretty girl. I won’t come until you do.”

The idea makes you want to hold off forever, let him fuck you for hours just to bask in the feeling of your closeness. However, your body disagrees with that sentiment, and suddenly you’re cumming hard. 

“Shit,” he hisses, feeling your walls flutter around his length. 

Mark doesn’t slow down though, he fucks you through your orgasm like a madman, hammering deep to the hilt to chase his high. 

“I’m gonna cum, Y/N…shit…fuck…” He growls a sound so erotic in your ear, you feel like you might cum again.

He sags onto you, his body heavy but not crushing, his skin warm against yours. You touch your fingers to his cheek. 

“I don’t think I can move,” he says, breathless.

“So, don’t.”

The tips of Mark’s ears turn red at the suggestion, but eventually, he figures he needs to move — much to his dismay. He eases out of you, catching hold of the condom and pulling it off his cock. He rolls off of you and out of bed to put it in the trash before he’s back next to you, arms engulfing you in a hug. 

You look up at him and he presses a kiss on your lips before pulling back. “Are you staying?” 

“Do you want me to?”

“I asked first.” He says.

“I’ll stay if you want me to stay.”

Liar.

Mark swallows, “Okay well, I’ll get us breakfast in the morning then, yeah?”

He says it but he knows come the morning you’ll have slipped out in the middle of the night because this isn’t the first time he’s had sex with you. 

Mark has always been your rebound. Yes, he’s your best friend, but he’s also your favourite hookup call when your boyfriend’s being an asshole.

And he knew that when he first heard you knocking on his front door. He knows you'll never change – and strangely, he's content with that, he’s accepted it. Because even though he knows you'll move on again, he doesn't mind keeping your secrets safe until the next time when you want a man to heal your heart.

Because Mark will settle for being a pity fuck if it means he gets to be a constant in your life.

[norrisleclercf1]

Would love to see something where you come home from work to find Mark conked out on the couch with your baby asleep on his chest

A/N: Mark with a little tiny thing on his chest and just hdlfkabdfjlkbqad.fsa

You started going bac to work this week and to say you missed your little baby boy was an understatement. Separation anxiety was at an all time high and you hated it, but also understood it at the same time.

Mark wasn't going to join Oscar for a little bit, the young Aussie so understanding as you got used to the new addition in your home, but also to figure out who would stay with little Jack when you both worked. You talked it through and wanted to see what it was like working, if you didn't like it, Mark was more than happy being the only one working and even having you two join him.

You got worried, as Mark had stopped answering your messages about 2 hours ago and your anxiety couldn't take it anymore. Your boss smiled and happily sent you home, as she understood. "Tell Mark and little guy I say hi, and if you need, take some more time off." You smiled and rushed home as quickly and safely as you could.

Jack was only 4 months old and Mark not answering was scaring you, he always answered you, no matter what. Getting to the ranch you quickly park the car and rush in, passing the dogs and skid to a halt, taking in the scene before you.

Mark was knocked out on the couch with little Jack curled up and puffy cheeks, back rising and falling with sleep. Melting you quickly take out your phone and snap a picture sending it to the groupchat, one that Mark wasn't a part of.

Jenson: DILF, can he get me pregnant too?

Lewis: So cute, Jenson don't ruin a good moment

Sebastian: Satan and spawn of satan look cute

Fernando: AHHHHH look how adorable my husband and godson are, oh my god they're so AHHHH jealous!

You: Fernando......

[tyonfs]

the marriage and baby project (teaser)

PAIRING ▸ mark lee x fem!reader

GENRES ▸ smut, fluff, crack, college au, fake dating (marriage?) au

SUMMARY ▸ mark lee has had the biggest crush on you for years, so, naturally, he’s over the moon when you’re both partnered for a group project. however, he underestimates just how close two people can get when they have to pretend they’re married for a month while taking care of a fake baby.

ESTIMATED WORD COUNT ▸ 8k words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ the dunk shot series is not dead guys :’) sorry this series was sort of at a standstill for a bit but here’s the teaser for mark’s installment !! ♡ send me an ask or comment if you want to be on the tag list! (warnings will be added in the final fic) 

THE ONLY REASON WHY MARK TOOK FAMILY AND CONSUMER SCIENCE WAS BECAUSE his friends told him it would be an easy A for a general education requirement he needed to fulfill. No one clued him in on having to become a married man and father.

“Hi, Mark,” you greeted with a smile, sliding into the seat next to him. “I guess I’m Y/N Lee for the next few weeks.”

He felt his heart drop to his stomach.

Here was a brief rundown: you were essentially a femme fatale, a drop-dead gorgeous it-girl; and Mark was a loser who was somewhat good at playing basketball. On top of that, Mark harbored the biggest crush on you since forever.

Forever dated back to high school. Although Mark never spoke to you much, he had always thought you were the most breathtaking individual he had ever seen. That was probably why he was malfunctioning right now. He had never gotten the opportunity to be around you like this, mostly because you were dating Vernon Chwe up until last year. All he could do was admire from afar helplessly, eyes lingering as you strode down hallways.

Chenle told him that there was a definite shelf life on relationships like yours and Vernon’s—relationships that were mostly physical—so he was confident you two wouldn’t last. And he was right. When you and Vernon broke up, Mark felt bad seeing your sad eyes, but an ugly part of him had been waiting for it to happen.

This situation, however, was like winning the lottery. Not only was he partnered up with you, but he had to play the role of your husband? Things like this never really happened to Mark, so he figured some misfortunate was coming his way soon.

“Hey, Y/N,” he managed to get out.

“Come up and get your babies,” the professor instructed. “These RealCare infant simulators use wireless programming to track and report on your behaviors, which is why I had you all sign those consent forms.” She held up one of the dolls for everyone to see. “I’m not gonna require you all to keep your dolls in a car seat, but I will be able to see records of misuse, clothing changes, temperature changes, whether you’ve rocked, fed, or burped your baby, or respond to its cries.”

Great. He had to walk around campus with a plastic baby. Mark’s friends were never going to let him live this down.

He wondered if the RealCare infant could play basketball.

He turned to face you again. “Do you want a boy or girl?”

“Mark Lee,” his professor chided, and he nearly jumped when saw her standing right beside his desk. “You don’t get to choose the gender of your child in real life, so I’ll be randomly assigning each couple a baby.”

“I don’t think we’ve considered the possibility of gene editing.”

“You can take that up with Congress.”

GENERAL TAG LIST ▸ @papiiimark @jaehy9ngs @chanluster @jjhmk @marksflute @superhajimark @jeongyoonohs @marklexleaf @dnylwoo @kpop-bambi @miyrisa @jjikyuu @venesiun @seventeeneration @chenosaurus16 @kylomeyon @infnteen @ohmarkly  @weish5n @thejeongjaehyun​ @lovesjenmoong​ @infnteen​ @wownajaemin​ @haruharux23 @pewpewpwe00 @scxrlettkx @pckeia @keijikunn @sapiowoman28 @atiny-doodles @loki-in-hogwarts @baekhyuns-lipchain @repjaehyn @chan-s-laptop @jen0zen @michplusb @yutassecrettime @minkis-simp​ @dreamyyang​ @catscoffeeandkpop​ @ahgastayzen​ @ryu-naa

[fadedncity]

give me the greenlight

wc: 19.0k…y'all i genuinely don't know how

pairing: mark x fem!reader

cw: smut, street racing au, childhood friends to lovers, non idol au, college au, lil angst, fluff, mention of other idols, slight allusions to a toxic ex, alcohol consumption, use of marijuana, mark's lowkey a big flirt, switch!mark, switch!reader, auralism, thigh riding, dirty talk, pet names, praising, teasing, marking, fingering, semi public sex, car sex, oral sex (giving/receiving), exhibitionism (barely), multiple orgasms, protected sex, aftercare, way more plot than i expected, lmk if i missed anything

[9:16 PM] FRIDAY

"Come on. The cops are gonna bust it before we even get there!" Summer stomped her heels like a whiny child.

"You know these things never start on time, we will be fine," you said, coming down the stairs.

"You could always go ahead of us and we'll meet you there," Nyla said, checking herself in the mirror, "Oh wait, you can't drive," she deadpanned.

"Only temporarily," Summer rolled her eyes.

"Only until your suspension is lifted," you reminded.

"One of you could let me borrow a car. It's only an issue if I get caught." Summer says matter of factly, like either of you would side with her.

"That is the issue, sweetie, you did get caught." Nyla pats Summer's cheek.

Summer crossed her arms, again acting like a moody toddler.

"Let's go," you grabbed your keys off the table, "Thought you didn't wanna be late." You said to Summer, heading out the door.

With an annoyed huff, Summer gathered her things and followed you and Nyla out the door.

The three of you got into your car, the gentle purr of the engine coming to life once you put the key in the ignition, sending vibrations through the entire vehicle. Music filtered through the speakers as you pulled out of your spot and took off down the street.

"Hyuck said to make sure you turn your lights off when you're coming up," Summer relayed a message she received from Haechan once you were halfway there.

"Yeah, yeah, I know," you waved off.

You turned off your headlights once you neared the exit, moving offroad. You carefully drove into the woods on unpaved ground, heading deeper into the darkness as the distant streetlights weren't doing anything to assist your sight anymore. 

"I always hate this part," Nyla says from the passenger seat.

"Gotta make sure we don't get caught if any cops are hiding around here." You said.

"I know, but it always feels like the beginning of a horror movie. And you know the hot ones always die first," Nyla pouted.

You found the opening in the fence, worn down from being driven over so many times, and pulled into the abandoned army base, finally able to cut your lights back on.

The sound of music playing and tires screeching on the pavement could already be heard from the runway the meet was on, and you were still a few hangars away.

You slow down once you reach the crowd taking over the runway. People move out of the way as you cruise down the road, looking for a spot to park.

"Ain't that Johnny over there," Summer pointed from the backseat.

"I'd recognize that giant beanstalk anywhere," you say before honking your horn, startling the Aquarius and getting his attention.

"Wow, the princess actually graces us with her presence on this lovely night," Johnny curtsies, and you scoff.

"Just move out the way before I run your ass over." you tell him.

You backed your car into the spot next to Johnny, and your friends practically jumped out of the vehicle before you could put it in park. You hadn't even closed your door when Johnny embraced you in a tight hug. 

"Jesus, John, gonna crack a rib," you gasp.

"Feels like we don't see you at these things anymore," He let you go.

"Come on, it hasn't been that long. I was here like a few weeks ago."

"For like 20 minutes. You left before you could even see me smoke Jungwoo," he crossed his arms over his chest.

You remember that night. You had totally forgotten the assignment you had due at 11:59 and raced back home to turn it in on time.

"Shit. That's my bad. You know it's just stuff with the garage and school and…stuff," you trail off.

"Yeah, I get it," Johnny slung his arm around you, "You're doing good though, kiddo," you both started following behind Nyla and Summer as they wandered off.

"How do you figure?"

"Made it further than me. I had already dropped out by this point," Johnny said, sharing a laugh.

The music came from every direction with people displaying their boosted sound systems out of their trunks. All cars of different makes and models lined the sides of the track. The ones not focusing on the races were too busy gawking at the expensive modifications under the hoods of those showing them off.

"Last chance. Winner take all," you instantly recognize Chenle's voice over the rest of the clamor.

You watch Summer reach into her bag, giving Chenle an indescribable amount, looking proud of herself.

"Who're you betting on?" Johnny asks her. 

"Yeri, duh," she answered. 

"You sure that was a good choice?" he teases.

"Obviously. Hyuck ain't got shit on her." 

"Yeah, alright," Johnny rolled his eyes, taking a bit of offense himself.

"Where is Haechan, by the way? He's up next," Jeno says.

"Over there talking to Jaemin," Chenle nodded to the opposite side of the runway where Jaemin's car was parked.

You spotted the back of Haechan's head, speaking to Jaemin through the window of his car, probably checking the police scanner and making sure you're all still in the clear, no doubt. Then your eyes land on the guy standing next to him, recognizing his silhouette.

"Oh my god, is that-" Summer starts.

"Mark Lee?" you will your vision to focus from this distance to see clearer. "Mark's back in town and no one said anything?" you hit Johnny's arm.

"You would know if you were here." Chenle shrugged.

"I'm sorry, who is Mark?" Nyla asks.

Everyone turned and looked at Nyla.

"Mark Lee? How do you not know Mark?" Summer says, showing Nyla his Instagram.

"How did you pull that up so fast?" Renjun asks.

"Holy shit, he's good," Nyla says, impressed, and you already know Summer pulled up one of the videos of him racing.

"Better be. I taught him." Johnny smiles like a proud father. "We all go way back," he says, "Ain't that right?" Johnny nudges your arm.

Way back. 

Way back when you used to spend hours at the garage with your father after school and only knew Johnny as your father's best and favorite (unconfirmed) employee. And Mark was some boy from your high school that you didn't even know until you went to your first dig.

Way back doesn't even feel that far away anymore now seeing him. It almost feels exactly like the night you met after you snuck out to the first car meet.

"If your father knew you were here, he would lose his shit. If he found out I let you drive, he would have my head. You are not getting into any car—getting behind any wheel tonight under any circumstances. Do you understand?" Johnny said. 

"But-" 

"Aht, I mean it," he said, shooting you down before changing the subject, "You know Mark, right?" Johnny asked. 

"No, I don't know Mark." 

"Well, this is Mark," Johnny said, yanking the boy out of a conversation to introduce the both of you. "You mind keeping each other company, and make sure she stays out of..everything," Johnny not so quietly muttered to Mark. "I'm up next, so be good while I'm gone," Johnny patted your head before he hopped in his car, leaving the two of you alone. 

"I can't image he's much less of a jackass at work." Mark joked. 

"He definitely isn't. I don't think it's something he can turn off," you laughed before you looked over at him, "How'd you know I'm from the garage?" you asked. 

"Johnny said you might be here tonight. He talks about you all the time, like a little sister he's never had," Mark tells you. 

"Oh really? What else has he said?" 

"You're one hell of a driver."

"Come on, it's starting," Summer pulling on your arm, tore you out of your thoughts, and you realize Mark's no longer in your sight, having lost him in the crowd.

People gather on either side of the runway, cheering as Haechan's electric blue supra pulled up next to Yeri's lavender-wrapped GT-R at the spray-painted line that served as the starting and finish line.

Chenle stood in front of them, looking at both drivers. He raised his arms, both drivers reviving up their cars. Haechan burns out his tires, kicking up smoke behind his car before Chenle drops his arms, and both speed off past him down the road.

Through all the commotion, you spotted Mark again, and before you could even think about it, you were already weaving your way through the crowd to get to him.

"So you thought you could just come back to town and not say anything to anybody?" you say, getting his attention.

Mark's eyes light up, no longer concerned with the race upon seeing you.

"I just got in yesterday, but heard you were gonna be here tonight. So I thought I'd surprise you."

"Consider me surprised."

You take the time to notice everything about him, the things that have changed and the things that haven't. Like his hair, no longer dark with the typical schoolboy cut. It's now grown out and blonde—that was as much as you could tell from the beanie it was all tucked underneath. But nothing about his face is much different than how you remember it. Still the same soft eyes you can get yourself lost in and the sweet smile that used to bring one to your face.

"So who's your money on?" Mark asks you.

"You know I'm not throwing anything unless I really got something to lose," you say, "But if I did put my money on one of them it would definitely be Yeri. She's winning this."

"Yeah, she's a good driver but don't you know what Haechan has under his hood?"

"Yeah, but it's no match for what's under Yeri's. And I would know. I put it all together myself," you smiled proudly.

You heard the cars approaching, closing in on the finishing line. From this distance, it's hard to tell who's winning, but you aren't as eager as the rest of the crowd cheering on either side to see who would make it to the end first.

The cars blurred past you, wind whipping behind them, blowing your hair out of place a bit as you turned to Mark.

"Now would you look at that," you smiled as Yeri was announced as the winner, "I know it's been a while Mark, but the last thing you should forget is that I'm always right."

"Trust, there isn't anything about you I could forget," Mark says before excusing himself to provide Haechan with moral support.

You don't know why fluttering kicks up in your stomach at his words, and you can't fight the smirk that stretches across your face as you watch him walk away. But you try to ignore it and go to congratulate Yeri on her win.

[10:32 PM] 

"Okay but like I almost had her," Haechan continues to explain. 

You hadn't been listening to Haechan, finding yourself too entranced with looking at Mark talking to Jungwoo and Somi a few feet away from you; you didn't even notice Nyla approaching.

"So like were you two a thing?" Nyla asks, startling you.

"What? Me and Mark?" you furrow your brows, "No, no, we were just friends."

"You were close?" she asks.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." you tell her.

"This one yours?" Mark asks, getting your attention.

"I'm standing next to it, aren't I?" you reply, running your hand over the top of your car.

"And as good as you look doing it, I just wonder if you're still as good at driving it as I remember."

"You think I lost my touch while you were away?" you push yourself away from your car, shortening the distance between the both of you.

Mark shrugs, "You tell me," he smirks.

"You know I'm more show than tell," the corners of your lips turn up.

"Is anybody else seeing this?" Nyla looks around, asking.

"Like old times?" you smile.

"Just like old times," he replies.

"For how much?" you ask.

"Let's just settle with $200 for now, nothing too serious."

"Afraid I'd clean you straight out?" you teased, "Fine by me."

Everyone's now tuned into the exchange between the two of you, a mix of reactions to what was going on with you and Mark.

"Oh shit, this is gonna be good," Haechan slid off the hood of his car, engaging in the action.

"Are they really doing this right now?" Renjun asks.

"You best believe they are. Time to make a profit—Place your bets now!" Yangyang began yelling into the crowd as you and Mark started your cars.

"You two ready?" Ten asks, standing in front of your vehicles at the starting line.

"Unless Mark's having second thoughts," you look over at Mark in his car.

Mark smirked, "Are you?"

"Hell no," you revved up your engine.

With Ten's signal, your foot hovers over the gas pedal. Bringing his hands down, you and Mark take off down the runway.

You're instantly transported back to the summer nights you and Mark spent driving around abandoned warehouses and garages.

You remember staying out for hours—most times til the sun came up, trying to perfect drifting. The amounts of tires you blew out and dents you inflicted on the car you had then led the two of you to spend your days in your father's garage, repairing the damage.

You prepare yourself for the turn coming up on the track that had been carved out. It's almost as if you and Mark move in perfect sync as you shift your gears. Your tires glide on the concrete, smoothly drifting your car around the corner, a bit of smoke trailing behind you from the burning rubber.

With as fast as you were both going, you should've expected the race to end as soon as it started. And when you both drove over the finish line, it was almost hard to tell who won. But you had Mark by a fender.

"I see you have forgot I always win too," You say to Mark as Ten hands you the money, "But that's the first real race I've had in a while, so thank you for that."

"If you're really that appreciative then how about we go again," Mark offers.

"I don't wanna take anymore of your money, Mark," you say teasingly.

He rolls his eyes before leaning out of his car, "If you really don't, how about if I win, you let me take you out."

It was the last thing you expected to hear come out of Mark's mouth. You would almost describe his demeanor as cocky, but you've seen cocky, and the confidence has never looked so good on someone.

Who is this man, and what has he done with the Mark Lee you knew? 

But you weren't going to back down just because your heartbeat picks up, and you know it's not just from the adrenaline.

"How about when I win?" you ask.

He pauses, thinking for a second before saying, "You get my car."

Your eyes light up at the proposition, "Have fun walking home tonight, Markie," you laugh.

"Bitch, if you don't let him win," Summer says, coming up to your window.

"There's no way in hell I'm doing that. Do you see that car?" you say.

"Do you see that man? He wants to take me out, who am I to put a question mark where the universe placed a period?" Nyla says, looking at Mark while he talks to Haechan.

"Look, if there are no hard feelings after I give that car a few adjustments, maybe a new paint job, and Mark still wants to take me out, he can," you shrugged.

"Trust me, he'll want to. He's been eyeing you all night." Summer hits your arm.

"Shut up, he has not," you swat her away.

"Excuse me, ladies, but if you don't mind, my man Mark has a date to win," Haechan says, making it clear who he was rooting for.

"Yeah, keep on wishing, Hyuck," Summer yelled back, "You better fucking win now." she tells you.

It was Jeno this time who stood between both cars raising his arms, giving you and Mark the signal to get set. With a nod, Jeno drops his arms, and your car accelerates, taking off, Mark right there beside you. Your entire focus was on the road ahead of you, not even Mark, who would steal glances at you from time to time.

You start getting some distance between your cars, already thinking about the new rims you'd order. But all that flies out the window when you spot a cat in the road ahead of you.

You had two choices; stop or swerve into the muddy ditch to your left, as any third option would leave someone getting hurt, so you didn't even consider it. Slamming on the breaks, you come to a quick stop as the cat stands in front of your car.

"Motherfucker," you muttered under your breath.

As Mark passed you, you swore you could've heard his laugh in the wind.

You swerved around the cat, applying heavy weight to the gas, getting back into your lane, and catching back up with Mark once you approached the turn. By the time you reached the top end, you were only about an inch away from pulling ahead of Mark's car.

You heard the distorted whirls of screams filter in through your windows as you both drove over the line, everyone cheering for the winner.

"Fuck," you whined.

You really wanted that Evo.

"Did you actually let him win?" Summer asks, stunned.

"Fuck no. There was a cat on the runway, I didn't wanna hit it," you say, slamming your door shut.

"Are you serious?" Renjun asks with a laugh.

"How the fuck else would there be a way to explain how I lost?" you say.

"You wanted to let him wi-" Johnny's cut off by Mark's hand over his mouth.

"It's true, I saw it run across," Mark attests, "But still if rules are rules and winning is winning..." he shrugs with a smile.

"You got lucky, Mark. Don't let it go to your head too much," you cross your arms over your chest.

"May be a little too late for that," Mark says, eyeing you up and down.

"Jesus, were they always like this?" Nyla asks, handing Johnny the money she placed on you.

"I have no idea where the fuck any of this came from. What am I even watching right now?" Johnny says, taking the cash.

"Hey! Did you bet against me?" you ask Johnny.

"Sorry, kid. It's just business," Johnny yells back, counting the money.

"Fucking traitor," you grumble.

Then you hear the static coming from the coms (walkie-talkies, but the boys say it's immature and insist on saying coms instead), Jisung relaying something to Chenle.

"Oh shit," Chenle said, "Cops! Cops are coming!" he yelled.

Everything stopped, and everyone scattered like roaches when the lights came on.

People were running in all different directions, jumping into anything on wheels to get away. You got into your car, searching the crowd for Nyla and Summer because you weren't gonna leave without them if they arrived with you. But you caught them getting into Jaehyun's car, so you drove away.

You heard the sirens getting closer, watching the red and blue lights flash in your rearview as you made your getaway from the old army base. Only you and a few others had the same idea of using the same way you came in to get out since the cops were coming from the main entrance, trying to round everyone up. Or at least the ones that weren't fast enough.

You cut off your headlights, driving through the woods to get to the highway, when you heard your phone vibrating in your cup holder before answering it.

"You guys okay?" you ask Nyla.

"Yeah, pretty sure everyone made it out. Where are you?" Nyla asks.

"On my way to the garage to drop the car. Then I'm going over to Johnny's."

"Alright, we'll see you there."

"Alright." you hung up.

[12:26 AM] SATURDAY 

As you walked up to Johnny's street, you could already see the partying had continued as if it was never interrupted.

Cars were double parked, taking up the entire street in front of the house. People were scattered all over the lawn, still carrying on as if you all didn't just have to run for your lives to end up here. You could already hear the music from inside Johnny's house as you walked up the front steps.

"You know, the whole point of coming over here is to lay low and not attract the attention of the cops right back to us again." you say to Johnny, finding him first on the front porch.

"It'll be fine, none of the neighbors are gonna complain," Johnny says without an ounce of worry on his face as he rolls a joint.

Before you walk into the house, you stop and ask Johnny again, "You really bet against me?"

"Look, it's not that I think he's the better racer," Johnny pauses to wet the ends of the papers with his tongue, "But you weren't gonna pass up a chance to let him take you out," he teases.

Johnny begins laughing as you hit his arm, "I told you it was the fucking cat."

You leave Johnny, still laughing, on the porch, entering the house. Making your way through the crowded hallway, you reach the kitchen, finding Nyla, Summer, and Jaehyun along with Goeun.

"Finally, what took you so long? Almost hit another cat on your way over?" Summer asks, sipping on her drink.

"Haha, very fucking funny," you spit, flipping her off.

"Here, calm down, and take this," Johnny hands you the lit joint.

"Where do you even think the cat came from? Was it alone? What if it was a mother and she had a litter? Oh my god no, we have to go back and find it," Goeun asks, making it very clear she's already a few shots in.

Now if someone brings that cat up one more time…

"Can we please just stop talking about the cat," you sigh, taking one last drag.

Passing off the joint to Jaehyun, your mind was already growing hazy, your body feeling less weighed down, and you wandered out of the kitchen. You spot Jaemin and Jeno in the backyard smoking with Somi, Mingi, and Doyeon. Somi lifts the joint toward you, offering before you tell her you're good for now. You were then drawn to the living room when you heard Haechan's voice going back and forth with another's.

"Dude, stop running me over!" Haechan complained.

"Stop getting in my way!" Sunwoo yelled back.

The two boys had planted themselves in front of the TV, quickly moving their fingers over the controls in their hands as they played GTA. Aside from the ones entertained by Hyuck and Sunwoo playing, the living room was packed with others dancing, drinking, and smoking, so you didn't even attempt to make your way through.

You spun on your heels and continued to meander around the house. But you were stopped in your tracks when you were approached by Mark.

"Peace offering?" Mark hands you a drink.

"You know I'm not actually mad about losing, Mark," you take the cup from him, sipping the contents as he leans against the walls next to you.

"Does that mean, if I would've just asked you instead; a date or my car, you would've chosen-"

"Your car, definitely," you say, "Mark, you're cute and all but your car...That's like a wet dream on wheels," you tell him, and he bursts into laughter. 

"You think I'm cute?" he asks, raising a brow at you.

It registers that that is what you said to him, even without realizing it. But it's not like it's a lie, so you don't deny it.

"I do." Always have. "And fortunately, you still have your car. So where do you plan on taking me in it?"

"I'm not telling you that."

You scoff, "Why not?"

"It's a surprise."

"I hate surprises." you whine.

"You didn't seem to hate me surprising you tonight."

"That's different."

"You'll like this one," Mark tells you.

"What if you're wrong and I hate it?"

"You won't." Mark wasn't going to crack, depriving you of the information.

"Fine. But when I imagine you've planned out the most extravagant date of the century, and it doesn't meet my expectations and turns out the be the worst date of my life, I will never let you live it down, Mark Lee," you say.

He laughed at your dramatics, "I'll take that chance."

"Can I at least know when to expect this to happen?" you ask.

"Are you free tomorrow?"

"I can be."

"Perfect. I'll pick you up at 6."

"Who gets dinner at 6. We aren't seniors, Mark."

"Who said I was just taking you dinner?" he tilts his head. 

"You've only been here about 36 hours and I've only known you're back for three of them, how could you have possibly planned something already?"

"Just gotta trust me," he says, lifting his cup to lips, "And wear something nice. Not too nice. But nice."

"Wow, Mark, that is so helpful." 

"I do what I can," he smiles at you rolling your eyes. 

Mark only breaks eye contact when he feels the intruding gaze of another.

"Okay, I don't know if it's just me, but why does Leo look like he wants to hit me with his car."

Ignoring any subtleties, you turn to find exactly what Mark was talking about. Across the room, you see Leo leaning against a wall, drinking his beer, and glaring at you and Mark. 

You scoff and wave it off, "It's nothing. He's just trying that big bad intimidating ex-boyfriend shit. Thinks it's actually gonna work and bring me right back into his arms," you sip your drink.

"No way you dated him," Mark stares at you, jaw dropped, "Jesus, I leave and you suddenly lose your taste in men."

"Shut up," you shove him with a laugh.

A soft smile comes to your face as you find yourself getting lost in Mark's eyes. That was until you were interrupted by someone calling your name to get your attention.

Mark could feel his posture correcting itself as Yeonjun approached the corner you both occupied, you with open arms.

Yeonjun was another ex of yours. But you only dated for a couple months in high school before ending things on good terms, agreeing to just stay friends.

"Should've known if there was gonna be one person to actually get you out there on the track, it would be Mark," Yeonjun says, "What's up, man," he greets Mark.

"Hey, man," Mark nods.

It's not like Mark had anything against the man. They were pretty well acquainted through you and the other mutual friends he shared with Yeonjun. But it was the little prick of a feeling some may describe as a bit of jealousy Mark gets when he sees Yeonjun with you sometimes. Especially now, considering how close you and Yeonjun were before, Mark can only imagine what it's like now, and he's suddenly regretting all the time he's missed.

"Yeah, since he's not a little bitch and can actually give me a race worth my while," you tease Yeonjun, putting a smile on Mark's face.

"Oh, I know you're not grouping me in with the rest of them," Yeonjun pointed over his shoulder, "fell for the trap last time, and it cost me a Camaro."

"Don't worry. You know she's been in good hands," you say.

"Yeah. And you wasted no time with a new paint job, I see," Yeonjun crossed his arms over his chest.

"It was very much needed. I don't know what it is with you guys and that horrendous orange," you scrunch your face.

"So pink was the obvious answer?" Yeonjun asks.

"It's fuchsia, actually. And yes, it was," you nod, making both of them laugh. 

Your exchange with Yeonjun is cut short when he hears Wooyoung calling him from the other room. 

"I'll catch you guys later. Good seeing you, Mark," Yeonjun nods at Mark as he leaves, Mark doing the same.

"So, let me get this straight; you raced me in a car you already won from Yeonjun, trying to win mine," Mark crosses his arms.

"First, you offered up your car. Second, I've never had a Mitsubishi," You say.

"Good thing I won then," he laughs, and you shoot him a death glare. "Thought there were no hard feelings," he responds to your expression.

"Don't start poking the bear, Lee."

[3:37 AM]

You and Mark barely separated from one another all night, the two of you now sitting in the backyard, still smoking the joint Jaemin left for you two to finish.

"You okay over there?" Mark's voice breaks the peaceful silence and brings you back to reality. You look over at Mark, and your face splits into a smile before you burst into laughter.

"What?" Mark starts laughing along with you.

"Nothing. Sorry I'm just.." you couldn't find the words to even describe what's going on in your head right now, "incredibly high," you sigh.

Mark continues laughing with you, soothing the embarrassment you feel prick up your spine. 

"I missed this. And I missed you," Mark says.

"Me too," you smile, "All I could think about the whole night was how much it felt like the first time we met."

"Oh, you mean the same night Johnny almost got bagged?" Mark starts laughing uncontrollably as the memory comes back.

"Yes," you begin laughing as well.

"Do you remember the panic on his face when he was running," he manages to say between gasps for air. 

"I've never seen Johnny so scared," you say, your lungs begging for oxygen as you continue to laugh.

"I heard my name, you two talking about me?" Johnny steps out onto the deck.

"Yeah, and that first meet I went to when I saved your ass from the cops," you say.

Johnny scoffed, "What are you talking about?"

"Dude, how could you not remember?" Mark asks, "It was right after you raced Changkyun and you were busy talking to Yves and Jun when the cops showed up." he says.

"But good thing you left the keys in the car and since Mark was too busy freaking out, someone had to do something," you add.

"Alright, I was not freaking out," Mark says.

"It was a mild freak out," you say to him.

"Huh," Johnny nods, looking as if he's going through the archives of his memory, "I very vaguely remember that happening," Johnny says as he lights another joint.

"Maybe if you didn't smoke so much you'd remember," you mutter, sipping your water.

"I know you're not talking," Johnny pointed at you with the spliff between his lips.

"Sungchan's passed out on the front lawn," Haechan comes outside to tell Johnny.

"Okay, find Jeno or Jae and move him upstairs," Johnny says.

"Jeno already left and no one's seen Jaehyun in a while," Haechan says.

"Shit," Johnny sighs, taking a drag, "Mark, come on," he hits Mark's shoulder.

"Now how'd I get dragged into this?" Mark asks.

"Man, just come help us get him upstairs," Johnny tells Mark. With an annoyed grumble, Mark gets up, and you laugh as Mark follows the other two back into the house.

You only went back inside to refill your cup with more water when you bumped into Yeonjun again.

"Hey, you're still here." Yeonjun says.

"Yeah," you answer with a lazy smile.

He laughs at your hazy state, "You good?"

"I'm great," you reply.

Yeonjun smiles, "Well we're about to head out. Do you need a ride home?"

You only had two choices; either walk home or crash here at Johnny's. But now Yeonjun's presenting you with this third choice, and it definitely is tempting.

But Mark.

"I'm good," you nod.

"Okay, I'll see you later."

"I'll see you," you wave as Yeonjun runs off to catch up with the rest of his friends, getting into Hwiyoung's car.

This is when you finally notice how much things have calmed down. The cars lining the streets were no longer taking up the whole block. Now, the house was cleared out of mostly everyone, save for the ones who were crashing there for the night. 

"Are you heading out?" Mark asks, coming down the stairs.

"I mean, I probably should. I'm exhausted and I've got to rest up for this big date we have tomorrow," you say.

"You're not driving, right?"

"Of course not. I'm not too far."

"I'll take you."

"Mark, you are not driving either," you say, knowing he's also been drinking and smoking.

"I know. I'm walking you," Mark says, "Let me go grab my phone," he brushes past you and back out to the backyard.

"Hey," you heard from someone else coming down the stairs.

You furrow your brows at your roommate, "You're actually still here? Where have you been all night?" You ask Nyla.

"You know…around," she answered.

It was then you noticed Nyla wearing a shirt she didn't leave the house in, but you don't say anything about it at the moment.

"You ready to go?" Mark asks you.

"Wait, you're leaving?" Nyla asks.

"Yup," you answer.

"Do you want me to go with you?" she asks.

"Do you want to go with me?" you ask her.

Before she can answer, Jaehyun comes down the stairs buttoning up a shirt he wasn't wearing before, smirking at your best friend as he walks past to the kitchen.

Nyla looked internally conflicted, so you made the decision for her. "You can stay. Mark's gonna walk me home."

"Mark, you're an angel," Nyla grabs his face. "I love you. Text me when you're home," she says to you, kissing your cheek.

"You better be using protection. I'm too young to be an auntie," you say sternly to her.

"You'd be one hot auntie, though," she winks over her shoulder before disappearing into the kitchen.

"You sure would be," Mark mumbles as he leans against the doorframe.

"Mark, don't start with me," you glare at him as you walk out of the house.

"What do you mean?" he asks, following you.

"The Mark Lee I knew couldn't flirt to save his life. But now, you keep saying things like that and with you looking like this," you sighed, "It makes things confusing."

"How?" he asks.

"Cause you're Mark."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

You don't know how you're supposed to answer him. "I'm not telling you."

"Well, do you want me to stop?"

You took a second to answer, "No."

For a few minutes, you only walked in comfortable silence before you broke it. "So how long are you staying?" you ask.

"Don't know yet. My brother's wedding is next month so I came back to help with preparations and stuff. But I don't know, might stick around for a while after."

You gasp, "Oh my god, your brother's getting married?? No fucking way, congrats to him."

"Thanks, I'll pass it along," he smiled.

"I bet your mom's excited."

"Yeah, and fortunately for me, it's got her too preoccupied to be any way worried about my dating life," he says. "She still asks me about you, you know. Says she misses you."

"Aw, I miss her too," you pout.

Okay, so maybe you downplayed how close you really were.

From the moment you met, it didn't take much for you to become friends. Once you had realized you went to the same school and were even in some of the same classes, you grew close. Mark introduced you to all his friends, who then became your friends and vice versa. Any time he got word of a meet happening, you were always the first person he texted, saying he was already on his way to come get you. Mark would walk with you after school to your father's garage and let you teach him a few things about fixing up and modifying cars. Your families were both fond of the relationship the two of you had; Mark's inviting you to dinner almost every week, and yours never minding having Mark over for breakfast Saturday mornings.

As you turned down your street, you were then reminded of Mark's last night here. After his going away party, he walked you home just like this for the last time before he left.

"I've missed you too, Mark. Really," you tell him once you reach your house.

You hug him, and he wraps his arms around you. Hugging him now is much different than the last time you had. You had cried into his shirt, squeezing him so tight you didn't want to let him go. And a part of you wished you didn't. But at least letting go this time doesn't hurt as much as it did the last.

"Goodnight, Mark."

"Goodnight," he says.

"I'll be seeing you," you say, making your way up to the door.

"You'll be seeing me," he reassures, waiting for you to enter your house before walking back to Johnny's.

[5:43 PM] SATURDAY

"Can I get a time check?" you ask.

"Almost quarter to 6," Summer answers.

You started cursing under your breath, rushing to apply your mascara.

"Wow, I've never seen you like this?" Nyla says.

"Like what?" you ask, never taking your eyes away from the mirror.

"Nervous to go on a date with a boy," she says teasingly.

"First, I'm not nervous," you point the mascara wand at her, "Second, he's not just some boy," you turn back to your reflection.

You heard your phone vibrate with a notification and looked at the text from Mark.

[5:49 PM] mark:  omw to come get you 

Fuck. And you weren't even dressed yet.

"Shit—okay, maybe I am a little nervous," you left your vanity and threw off your robe to slip into your dress.

"You really like him, don't you?" Nyla asks.

"You don't know the half of it," Summer interjects.

"What is that supposed to mean?" you ask, struggling to zip your dress.

"Bitch, are you for real right now?" Summer deadpans, helping you with the dress, "You were so unbelievably head over heels for him in high school."

"I was not," you defended.

"You and Mark seem to be the only ones who didn't know that," she zips you up.

You couldn't think of anything to say to that, but thankfully you didn't have to anymore once your phone started ringing.

"Hello?"

"I'm outside," Mark's voice filters through the speaker.

"Fuck," you mutter, "Okay, sorry, I'm almost ready," you tell him.

"No worries, I'll still be here."

You hung up and ran around your room, looking through your closet and frantically throwing things out of the way to find your shoes. 

"I literally just saw them. Where the fuck are they?" you say to yourself.

"You mean these?" Nyla pulls the heels from under your bed.

"Thank you," you grab the shoes and slip them on.

"Damn, you look real good," Summer compliments as you finish putting on your jewelry.

"Do I really?" you ask, making sure your hair is sitting just how you want it.

"Hell yeah," Nyla agreed.

"Okay," you take a deep breath, smoothing out the silk draped over your body before leaving your room.

"Have fun!" Nyla yelled after you.

You step out of your house to find Mark leaning against a black Porsche you recognize as one of Jaehyun's instead of his signature red Mitsubishi Evolution. You would be disappointed if he didn't look so good standing next to the car.

Mark pushed himself away from the car when he saw you coming down the steps, completely in awe. Meanwhile, you were just focused on not tripping and stumbling down onto your face.

"Hi," you walk up to him. 

"Hi," he seemed speechless, "You look…shit. I mean, not like that—You just look beautiful."

"Thank you, Mark," you grin, "You're looking pretty fine yourself."

"You know, I try," he smooths out his jacket, "Shall we?" he opens the passenger door for you.

You smile as you step toward the car, Mark taking your hand, helping you in before closing the door and rushing over to the driver's side.

Once you've clicked yourself in with the seatbelt, you look up to see Mark staring at you. "What?"

"Nothing," he clears his throat, pulling off.

You tried not to get too lost in looking at Mark, staring out the window instead, trying to figure out where he was taking you. But then you feel his hand brush against yours when he reaches for the gear lever. You couldn't help it, letting your eyes wander over to him. Curtains of blonde hair hung slightly over his eyes as they were focused on the road. Your eyes drift down to the material perfectly tailored to his broad shoulders, taking note of the color he chose to wear, a deep shade of blue, one of your favorite colors.

"We're here," Marks says, and you snap out of it, looking around to see where he's brought you. Mark exits the car first and comes to open your door for you.

"Mark, you didn't."

"I did," Mark smiled, "Put this on," he handed you a lanyard reading VIP.

"Where the fuck did you get these?" you ask.

He ignores your question and holds his hand out for you instead, "Come on."

You slide your hand into his and follow him toward the entrance.

As Mark leads you to your seats, you realize you're not in the packed sections with the rest of the screaming fans. But instead where most executives, family members of racers, and people with enough money to buy their way into this section were. Your eyes were as wide as continental tires as you sat down. 

"Mark…" now it was your turn to be speechless.

"Does this meet your expectations?" he asks as you look around in awe.

"No," you say, "Definitely surpassed them."

The crowd erupted into cheers as the drivers walked out to their cars.

"Oh my god," you gasp, "It's him."

Kim Jongin, or as he's famously known, Kai, walks out. He brightly smiles at the fans screaming his name and waves into the audience. You're too starstruck to move. And even think your heart has stopped beating when Kai looks in your direction.

"Mark! You made it," Kai walks over to you and Mark.

"Told you I would, man," Mark greets Kai, "I also said I would introduce you to one of the best street racers I know."

Kai looks at you, his smile never faltering as he extends his hand to shake yours.

"Holy shit," is all you can say as you shake his hand, "I'm like a huge fan," you tell Kai.

"So I've been told. I've also heard you put up some serious game out on the track," Kai says before one of his crew members calls him to his car. "I gotta run, but how about you guys stick around after the race and come down to the pit."

You're certain your jaw's already on the floor, in complete disbelief that this is happening right now.

"Yeah, for sure," Mark says.

Kai waves at you one last time before running off to the track, putting on his helmet, and jumping into his car. Once you were out of your trance, you hit Mark's arm.

"Ow!" Mark rubbed his bicep.

"Since when the fuck do you know Kai?" you ask.

"Since Kevin was just getting into the NIRA circuit. I went to one of the digs with him and that was where I met Kai."

You've been following Kai's career practically since it started back when you were a high school freshman. You probably even watched the exact meet Mark was talking about. 

"And you've just been sitting on this piece of information, waiting for what to tell me?"

"For this." Mark answers.

"I can't believe you," you mutter, turning away from him. 

[8:32 PM] 

As Kai tended to the post-race press, you and Mark waited for the first-place winner in the pit. You were busy drooling over what was under the hood of Kai's car while Mark conversed with Shohei, a pit crew member.

"So what do you think?" Kai reappears, asking you.

"I think if I was out there on the track, I'd have a reason to be scared," you say, "An FR9 engine, a nos wet fogger system, and forged pistons," you only list off the components you can see from just taking one look, impressing the racer.

"You really do know your shit," Kai smiles, "I like her," he says to Mark.

"Yeah, me too," Mark smiled at you.

"Wanna take her for a lap?" Kai asks you.

"Me?" you point to yourself, "In this?" then to the car.

"Why not?" Kai shrugs, handing you a helmet.

"She isn't exactly dressed for-" another crew member, Eunseok, started.

But you kick off your heels and grab the helmet, making sure your dress doesn't hike up your legs too high as you slide through the window to get into the race car.

"Man, she's got this," Mark reassures Eunseok as Kai gets in the car with you.

"You good in there?" you hear Mark's voice from inside the helmet.

"You know I'm more than good," you reply.

"And don't I know that for damn sure," you hear the smirk in his voice, "But I've talked you up to pretty much everyone here, so don't embarrass me," he says light-heartedly.

Your barefoot steps on the gas and a smile splits your face as you burn out the tires before accelerating. The wind whipped against your skin as you picked up speed. You felt like you were flying as Kai hysterically egged you on from the passenger seat.

Mark could hear your laughter through the com piece in your helmet, telling you're having the time of your life with the way you round the track. The car roared around the corners, and you felt the G-forces pushing you back into the seat. At the end of the lap, you pulled the car back into the pit, taking the helmet off to catch your breath.

"Now that's what I call driving!" Kai exclaimed as he got out of the car from the passenger side window.

You pulled yourself out of the seat and exited through the window. Mark was right there to help you even though he knew you didn't really need his assistance. You feel Mark's arm around your waist, the other the under your thighs, helping you out of the vehicle and letting you hold onto him to put your shoes back on.

"Between that and everything else I've been told, you better hold onto her, Mark."

"I don't think there's any other choice. She's stuck with me," Mark grabs your hand, "We should probably start leaving now before we're late." Mark says to you, looking at his watch.

"It was good seeing you again, and it truly was an honor to meet you," Kai bowed as he took your hand and kissed your knuckles.

"The honor was all mine. And you know, if you ever need a tune-up, or tires changed or even a buff, my garage always has its door opened for you," you smile.

"I'll keep that in mind," Kai nods with a smile.

"What are we even getting paid for, then?" Seunghan raised his arms.

Once back in the car, Mark weaved through the traffic of spectators leaving the stadium to get on the highway. You didn't notice Mark still holding your hand, only driving with one hand so his fingers could stay intertwined with yours until you reached the restaurant.

[9:41 PM]

"It was just so crazy. To feel that much power in the grips of my hands." you continued. You couldn't help but talk through the entirety of dinner, recounting the events of the night; Mark not minding one bit.

Mark slides his hand closer to yours across the table, taking your hand in his.

You trail off, suddenly losing focus while looking at Mark. Even in the dim candlelight of the restaurant, you can see how Mark's eyes hold the stars as he looks at you.

"You don't have to stop," Mark says, "I like listening to you," he rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.

"And I just like looking at you," you say, "Still think I'm going to wake up from this dream at any moment."

"You dream about me often?" Mark asks teasingly, leaning on the table.

"Oh, Markie," you lean closer too, "You really don't know the half of it, huh?"

"Why don't you tell me then?" Mark says, his eyes falling down to your lips.

"I'd rather show you," you say before kissing him.

You were never one to really be for public displays of affection, but with Mark, here and now, it just felt right.

"I've wanted to do that ever since sophomore year," you tell him once you pull away.

"Deadass?" Mark asks, raising his brows.

You laugh at his stunned expression, "Deadass, Mark."

"So Renjun was right," he mumbles to himself.

"About what?"

"You having a crush on me in high school."

"Seems like you were the only one who didn't know," you shrug.

"Well, don't act like you didn't know I had one on you too," Mark says, and your brows raise, "Wait, really? You didn't know?" he asks.

"Of course, I didn't Mark. How was I supposed to?"

"I don't know. But I mean, it was pretty obvious," Mark says, and you scoff.

You could pretty much say the same to him. 

"God, I'm such an idiot," Mark shakes his head, and you laugh, squeezing his hand. 

"My idiot," you kiss him again.

[11:56 PM]

With the night coming to an end, you feel a slight pang of sorrow as Mark nears your house.

Mark's hand holding yours, squeezes lightly, bringing you out of your thoughts once he's parked on your street. He kissed the back of your hand before exiting the car, opening your door, and helping you out. 

You slide his jacket off your shoulders and hand it back to Mark for him to toss into the backseat.

"So," Mark starts.

"So," you take a step closer to him.

"You can truthfully tell me if it really was the worst date of your life," he said with a smile.

You roll your eyes, "Maybe it wasn't."

"Damn, it does feel good being right."

"The night isn't over. There's still time for my answer to change."

"How much time?"

You look at your phone, "Two minutes and 30 seconds."

Mark was the one to initiate the kiss this time. He placed his hands on your hips and pulled you flush against his body. You allow Mark's tongue to slip into your mouth, and he hums at the taste of your lipgloss mixed with the wine you drank. Mark pulls away so you can both catch your breath, and you rest your forehead against his.

"Well?"

"Well, this has officially been the best date I've been on," you smile.

He lifts your chin, getting you to look at him, and kisses you one last time.

"Goodnight," he says.

"Goodnight, Mark," you begin to walk up your front steps.

"Wait," Mark stops you, "This isn't gonna be a one time thing is it?"

"Do you want it to be?" you ask.

"No."

"Okay. You'll be seeing me, Mark."

"I'm counting on it."

Walking up to your door, you see the movement of the curtains in the window and shake your head as you put in your key. As expected, the moment you enter your house, you're met with Nyla and Summer waiting for you.

"Date must've gone well," Summer says.

"What makes you say so?" you ask.

"That was pretty intense between you two out on the steps, and you're still grinning like an idiot," Nyla tells you.

"I am not," you deny with said grin still plastered on your face.

[1:34 PM] MONDAY

Mark steps onto the front porch, joining the rest who were outside. He finds you among them in Johnny's driveway, working on Jungwoo's car.

"Whatcha doing?" Mark asks, approaching you.

"Jungwoo says it doesn't sound right so I'm trying to adjust the cylinders and change the air pressure intake," you say.

You might as well have been wearing an expensive white dress and standing at an altar with the way Mark's looking at you. Mark watches as you carefully maneuver your way around the engine, sure not to interfere with anything valuable.

"Try that," you tell Jungwoo, who was sitting behind the wheel.

Jungwoo started his car and revved up the engine a few times, the loud roar sounding like music to your ears. You smile, satisfied, and close the hood of the car.

"You are an angel, you know that," Jungwoo says, appreciatively kissing your cheek before wandering off.

"Yeah, I know," you smile, turning to Mark, "Hi."

"Hi." you notice Mark lick his lips as he eyes you.

"What?"

"Nothing. That was just kinda hot," Mark tells you.

"Yeah? All this sweat and grease really doing it for you?" you joke, wiping your hands with a rag.

"You're definitely doing it for me," Mark says, pulling you toward him by your waist.

Mark kisses you, and you practically melt against his lips. You have to fight the urge to run your fingers through his hair, waiting until you properly wash your hands. You circle your arms around his neck instead, but things don't get too heated as your phone starts ringing.

"You mind?" you ask Mark. He hands you your phone, and you step away to take the call. 

"Everything okay?" Mark asks as you return to him.

"Yeah," you tell him before turning to everyone in the front yard, "So, how many of you love me enough to come swing by the garage with me?" you sweetly smile at your friends.

You aren't given a direct answer, but they all move from their spots and start getting into their cars, Mark following you to yours and riding with you.

. . .

You knew signing for the delivery wouldn't have taken long, but no one seemed to be in a rush to leave as they all busied themselves around the autobody shop. 

"Damn I really have missed this place," Mark says, looking around with a soft smile. 

"You know you've been equally missed," you tell him.

"Say it ain't so. Mark Lee, is that you?" you hear your dad's voice behind you.

"Yes, sir," Mark extends his arm to shake your dad's hand.

You try to continue focusing on the paperwork in front of you as the two exchange small talk before your dad mentions having Mark over for dinner.

"Oh, I couldn't impose-" Mark started.

"It wasn't imposing before, and it still isn't now," your dad says, "Your mom would love to have him over for dinner," he says to you.

"She would," you agree.

"Great, come over next Wednesday," he tells Mark before Soojin pulls your dad away to deal with a customer.

"Come with me," you round the desk and take Mark's hand. 

Mark follows your lead through the shop as you take him to where some of your friends congregated around Shotaro's station. 

"Hey, Taro. You busy?" you ask, getting his attention.

"Not really," Shotaro says. 

"Mark, this is Shotaro. Shotaro, this is Mark." you introduce them.

The Sagittarius' eyes widen as he extends his hand to Mark, "Holy shit, I've seen you race. You're like a god."

"Wow, thank-" Mark begins.

"Alright, I wouldn't say all that," you say.

"Have you seen him drive?" Shotaro asks.

"Of course, he's the only person that can keep up with me. But he usually never beats me over that line," you say with half a smirk.

Shotaro's brows furrow, "Wait, you race?"

Having only been working here a few months, you don't blame Shotaro for not knowing.

"I don't as much as I used to," you say.

"This isn't the first time I've heard this. Why is that?" Mark asks.

You shrug. "I don't know. I guess between school and helping manage this place I kinda lost my enthusiasm about it," you look down at the spare tire on the ground, softly kicking it, suddenly feeling everyone's eyes on you, "And it kinda just wasn't the same without you."

Mark looks as if he's endeared by what you've said. But you clear your throat and quickly change the subject.

"But anyway, how did the dry system hold up?" You ask Shotaro.

"Pretty good. Better than my last one," Shotaro tells you, lifting the hood of his car.

"Holy shit, where did you find these parts?" Mark asks as a few of you gather around the automobile. 

"Only knew one place to find them. So I had them imported from Yokohama," Shotaro says.

"Shotaro, you're definitely riding with us to race wars," Hendery says. 

"You guys are going too?" Shotaro asks.

"Yeah. Actually, speaking of, how many of us are going to race wars?" Jaehyun asks.

You and Mark used to talk about going to race wars all the time but never got the chance to when you were in high school because your parents would never let you. And by the time you were able to go, Mark wasn't there to be with you, so it just didn't have the same feeling without him.

"Pretty sure all of us here. Probably the rest of the others, too," Jeno says.

"Mark, you're coming?" Jisung asks.

"When is it?" Mark asks.

"It's supposed to be the beginning of next month, but the exact date and location haven't been posted yet. I'll let you know once I find out," Jaemin says.

"Okay," Mark nods, "As long as it doesn't interfere with my brother's wedding, I'll go."

"You could always not go?" Chenle jokes.

"Dude, he's my brother, and I'm the best man."

Everyone now turns their attention to Mark.

"What the fuck? Since when?" Ten asks.

"Since I found out my brother was engaged," Mark answers.

"So you just don't tell anyone shit around here anymore?" you joke.

Mark playfully rolls his eyes, poking his cheek with his tongue.

God, why is he so hot. 

You curl your arms around his, "Mark, you have to come. We've always wanted to go together," you pout.

"I know, I know," Mark holds your hand, "If I can, I will. I promise."

That was good enough for you for now.

"Okay."

[6:50 PM] THURSDAY

"Hello?" you answer the phone.

"You still at the garage?" Mark asks.

"Yeah, but I'm about to leave in a few minutes."

"Wanna come over to my place? Watch a movie and maybe drink this bottle of wine I have sitting in front of me."

"I'll need to go home and shower first. I'm all sweaty and greasy," you say.

"I don't really mind. Sweat, grease, and all."

"Well, I do. So I'll be over in an hour."

Mark kisses his teeth, "Fine."

[8:02 PM] 

Pulling up to Mark's house, you don't know why you expected it to be any different than how you remember it. But it was the same color and layout and even still had the dent in the garage door from when Yuta accidentally backed into it.

Mark answers the door wearing an old t-shirt, shorts, and glasses. Those goddamn glasses. 

"Hi," Mark smiles at you.

"Hi," you step into the house, allowing Mark to pull you in for a kiss. "You miss me or something?" you ask.

"Guess you can say that."

Slipping off your shoes and jacket, you follow Mark into the living room.

"Your parents here?" you ask.

"Nah, they went with my brother to meet the future in-laws," Mark answers. "You want a glass?" he points to the wine bottle sitting on the table.

"Yes, please," you sigh, collapsing onto the couch.

"Long day?"

"Yeah, but it's nothing I'm not used to." you take the wineglass he hands you.

Mark listens to you go on about your day after he asks, only briefly interrupted when he goes to answer the door for the delivery of the food you didn't even know he ordered. After eating your fill of pizza, you continue to watch the movie. You notice how much closer you are now than when you first arrived. You went from sitting right next to Mark to being seated between his legs, your back against his chest.

"Now, I gotta ask, who's your favorite?"

"Spider-man? Garfield for sure. I love the other two but The Amazing Spider-Man has a special place in my heart," you hold your hand over your chest.

"You were supposed to say me," Mark grumbles, rolling his eyes.

You laugh, turning to him, "Mark, you only dressed up once senior year, and that's cause you lost a bet."

"But you can't say I don't make a good Peter Parker," he says.

"Only if I can be your MJ," you joke.

Mark closes the space between you, softly pressing his lips to yours. Having seen No Way Home enough times opening weekend, you didn't mind Mark distracting you from the rest of the movie. You reposition yourself to straddle him and bring your lips back to his. The hands Mark has on your hips move down to cup your ass. Then you start laughing.

"Sorry, did I overstep?" Mark asks, moving his hands away.

"No, you didn't. It's just..nothing, sorry," you apologize. 

You start kissing him, cupping his face before you feel his two hands on your ass again, unable to stop the giggles bubbling in your throat.

"What?" Mark can't help but laugh now. 

"I'm sorry. I just can't stop thinking about your hands on my ass."

"What's so funny about that?" he asks.

"Nothing. It's just, I can't believe my best friend, Mark Lee, is kissing me with his hands on my ass," you cover your eyes, trying to explain. You shake your head, trying not to overthink this too much. "I swear I'm not laughing at you. I'm just nervous, I guess."

"What for?"

"Because it's you," you say, peaking at him through your fingers.

"I make you that nervous, baby?" Mark pulls your hands away from your face with a crooked smile. 

Is he trying to make you spontaneously combust?? 

"Maybe," you answer.

"Think I can do something to change that," he says, "Come here," he juts his chin toward you, signaling you to kiss him.

You let all thoughts fade away as you leaned into Mark. You grab the sides of his face, pressing your lips to him.

Mark keeps his hands off you until he can practically feel the desperation in your body, letting your hands roam all over him.

Feeling Mark's hands slide up your thighs to your ass made you softly moan into his mouth as he pressed you into his groin.

"Mark…" you breathe shakily.

"You need something?"

"Yeah, you."

You could hear your heart banging against your chest like a drum as you followed Mark up the stairs to his room, your hand in his.

Entering his room, you can see it hasn't changed much either. The same posters are still on the walls, his guitar sitting in its designated corner by his bed, and the small piles of clothes scattered over the floor. You didn't have the chance to get a good look at much else as Mark's lips were back on yours once he closed the door.

The backs of your legs hit the edge of his bed before you fall down onto it. Mark looks down at you lying on his bed, tongue darting out to wet his dry lips, taking his glasses off, and tossing them onto the bed. Mark grabs one of your legs, making space between them for himself, bringing his lips back to yours. Once he starts kissing your neck, you know you're already done for. 

"Mark, please," you arch into his touch.

"What, baby?"

"Touch me."

"I am touching you," he smirks, nipping at your jaw.

"God, since when were you such a fucking tease," you say, making him laugh.

"You mean here?" he asks, cupping your sex.

"Mhm," you tug your teeth between your teeth, nodding.

Mark looks into your eyes as he undoes the string of your sweatpants, making sure this is okay. When you don't tell him to stop, Mark slips his hand into your pants, pressing his fingers to the damp cotton, still acting as a barrier, keeping you from what you want.

"You this wet for me, princess?"

You shutter at his use of the pet name, "Yes."

"Mmm," he hums, watching your body react to the smallest of his touches. Mark then pulls your underwear to the side and teases your silt with his middle finger. Your jaw drops, silently moaning when you feel one of his fingers breach your walls. 

"Damn, baby, you're soaking for me," Mark smirks against your navel, moving your shirt out of his way as he kisses his way up your stomach.

"Mark, don't say things like that," you whine.

"Why?"

"Cause it's turning me on even more," you roll your hips into his hand.

"That doesn't sound like a reason to stop to me," he stopped kissing your skin once he reached your sternum, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No."

"Good. I'm only getting started," Mark pulls his hand away.

Before you could even protest, Mark's tugging your sweats down your legs, your panties along with them, getting you to lift your hips so he could throw them to the floor. You watch Mark lower himself to his knees on the floor before the bed, directing each of your legs over his shoulders. He softly kisses your inner thighs, nipping your sensitive skin between his teeth.

Mark pulls you closer to his face, looking up at you with eyes blown wide with lust. You try to keep your composure when Mark's tongue licks a fat stripe up your slit. Mark moans at the taste of you, and holds your legs apart as he buries his head between your thighs. Your small whimpers gradually grow into cries of Mark's name as he brings his fingers back to your core, slowly sinking two digits into your pussy.

"Fuck, that feels so good," you comb your fingers through his hair as he catches your clit between his lips.

Your back arches into the air, and you tug harshly on his roots, making him groan into your pussy. Mark's middle and ring finger curl against your velvety walls, moving in a come hither motion once he finds your sweet spot. Between the movements of his head and his fingers pumping in and out of you, you can feel the coil in your stomach tighten.

"Mark.." you sharply moan, "P-Please, don't stop," you beg.

Mark could feel his shorts growing uncomfortably tight the more he heard you moan and felt your pussy flutter around his fingers.

"You wanna cum for me, pretty girl?"

"Yes, Mark, please."

If your eyes didn't flutter shut, you would've caught the smirk on his face before he attacked your clit with his tongue.

At this point, you're no longer able to form full sentences. Mark's mouth makes you lose your senses and every coherent thought you have.

Mark's fingers dig into the plush of your thighs, keeping you from squirming too much as he eats you out like a man feasting after days of starving. 

"Oh my god!" your eyes roll back, "M'gonna cum," you warn through a whimper.

Mark never let up. The pace of his fingers picking up and his tongue flicking against your sensitive bundle of nerves had your toes curling. Your legs closed around his head once your orgasm hit you. Your cries and trembling legs went unnoticed by Mark as he was too enamored with the feeling and taste of you in his mouth.

"Mark, Mark, Mark," you whine, softly pushing his head away.

You open your eyes to find Mark with his fingers in his mouth, licking your slick off them. Even through your fatigue, seeing him with messy hair from you pulling on it and his face glistening with your juices reignited your insatiable desire for him.

"You okay?"

"Okay? Am I okay?" you raise a brow, "Mark, I can't remember the last time someone made me cum like that from just going down on me," you throw your arm over your eyes, still coming down from your high.

"I'm glad to be of service, then," he moves your arm away, kissing you.

You tangle your fingers in his hair, moaning around his tongue when it clashes with your own, tasting yourself on his lips.

You flip Mark onto the bed without breaking the kiss, and he rests his hands on your thighs, roughly kneading your flesh. You hum, feeling his hard clothed cock resting between your folds, Mark grabbing your ass to get you to roll your hips into his, letting a sound that closely resembles a whine climb up his throat.

Mark chases after your lips when you pull away, opening his eyes to see you admiring him.

"You're so pretty, Mark," you say, softly brushing his hair out of his eyes, and you swear you heard a whimper slip from his swollen lips.

Mark blushes, turning away from you so you don't notice. But you do. You grab his jaw, making him look at you, and pull him close enough, your lips to ghost over his.

"My pretty boy," you kiss his lips.

His cock stirs beneath you as you kiss your way down his neck. You tug on the collar of his shirt, getting Mark to pull it over his head, throwing it to the floor next to your clothes. You run your hand down his toned chest, a light trail of hair on his lower stomach disappearing into his shorts.

"Can I?" you ask, hooking your finger in the waistband of his shorts.

"Yeah," Mark nods.

Once his pants are off, you're both left in only one piece of clothing; his boxers and your shirt.

You kneel between his legs while Mark sits back on his hands, just watching you. Resting your hand on his leg, you softly squeeze his thigh before slowly sliding over to the bulge in his underwear. Palming the outline of his heavy cock has Mark tilting his head back, but not too much so he can still watch you as you waste no more time and release his dick from its confinements.

Your eyes widen, and the corners of your lips twitch, seeing his cock spring free, lightly slapping against his lower stomach. Precum dribbles from his slit and your mouth practically waters. You wrap your fingers around his length, smearing the beads of precum with your thumb. His cock twitches in your grasp, a raspy groan falling from his lips and shooting straight to your core.

"Mark, please tell me you have a condom somewhere in this house," you look at him through your lashes.

"Second drawer," he nods to his nightstand.

"Were you stocking up for this?" you ask, finding the industrial-sized box.

"No," Mark laughs, "Donghyuck 'gifted' that to me after our first date."

"Now, why would he do that?" you ask, straddling his thigh.

You already know your friend can have a perverted way of thinking, but you wanted to hear Mark's reasoning.

"Cause I couldn't stop talking about you in that fucking dress," he grips your waist, "Let's just say it was a lot harder to keep my gentlemanly manners than I thought it would be that night."

"As much as I appreciated the consideration," you say, "I wore that dress hoping you would've taken it off me," you lean into his ear.

"Fuck me," Mark groans under his breath and digs his fingers into your hips.

You grin, kissing him. Since you're distracted, Mark snatches the condom from your hand and pushes you onto your back. He sits back on his haunches, brushing his hair out of his eyes, and tears the package with his teeth before rolling the latex on and pumping his cock in his hands a few times.

Laying there with your hair splayed out on the pillows, your bottom lip between your teeth, and your thighs desperately itching to rub together at the sight of the man before you, Mark slowly begins losing his grip on any sort of restraint he has left. Mark wraps his arms under your thighs, pulling your hips closer to his. You can feel yourself growing wetter by the second as Mark keeps his eyes locked with yours, rubbing the tip of his cock between your folds. 

"Mark, please," your voice was barely above a whisper, yet Mark still heard the traces of desperation. 

The blunt head of his cock presses against your slit before being enveloped by your slick pussy. He takes his time easing into you as your walls open up for him.

"Oh, god—Mark," you choke out, feeling the way you have to adjust to his size.

"I know, I know, baby," Mark coos, "It's okay. Just relax for me," he soothed his hand up and down your leg.

You nod, and Mark starts kissing your neck. Your eyes flutter shut, your head tipping back to give him more access to mark up the side of your throat. As Mark sinks his teeth into your skin and can feel how incredibly wet you become, your pussy practically sucking him the rest of the way in.

"How're you doing, princess?" Mark kisses his way back up your neck. 

"Fuck, Mark, you feel so big," you roll your head back onto his pillow. Mark smiles, peppering your face with kisses while whispering sweet praises. 

"Let's just take it slow then, okay," he says, slowly drawing his hips back.

The feeling of his cock dragging against your walls as he slowly left your heat, only to fill you up again, had your eyes rolling back. 

"I feel so…you make me feel so—Full," you stumble over your words, moaning. 

The chuckle that leaves his lips leads a new wave of arousal to flood through your body and clench around him.

"And you're doing so good for me," he kisses your jaw. Mark continues slowly moving his hips, using deep sensual strokes to fuck you. Now fully submerged in pleasure, you beg Mark for more.

Mark grabs your leg hooked around his hip and begins picking up his rhythm. Bringing his eyes down to where your bodies were connected, he watches his dick disappear between your folds. Mark's shallow pants slowly transition into broken whimpers. You're just barely holding on, and Mark continues coaxing you closer to the edge.

"You're making me feel so good, Mark," you tell him.

Mark tries to conceal his noises, burying his head in your neck, but you disapprove. 

"Come on, Markie," you direct his face to look at you, "I wanna hear you, pretty boy," you grin, running your thumb along his bottom lip.

"Fuck~" he whines.

"Don't stop, baby, m'so close," you say.

"M-Me too—fuck, you feel so good," his voice fluctuates.

"S'all for you, pretty boy," you tell him, and you almost cum from his whimpers alone.

"God, stop calling me that," Mark pants, screwing his eyes shut.

"Why?" you smirk, bringing your fingers beneath his chin to make him look at you.

Damp strands of blonde hair hung in his face as he opened his lust-filled eyes, "I won't be able to last any longer," he answers.

"You gonna cum for me, Mark?" you roll your hips into his, making him deeply groan.

Mark holds your jaw with one hand, keeping intimate eye contact as he repeatedly thrusts into you. He runs his thumb along your bottom lip before pushing his finger into your mouth, and you eagerly accept.

"Not until you cum for me first," he says, sliding his thumb out of your mouth and bringing it to your clit.

"Oh—fuck, Mark, please," you cry.

Mark lowers himself to kiss you, muffling both of your sweet noises.

You frantically search for something to grab onto, finding Mark's shoulders first as you cum. Your pussy clamps around his cock, sending Mark into his own orgasm. Soft, breathy moans fill your ears as Mark's hips stutter, and he fills the condom with his cum.

"Holy shit," he drops his head to your shoulder.

You softly run your fingers through the strands of his sweaty hair as he kisses your damp skin. Pressing his lips to the side of your neck, Mark finds your lips meeting in a lazy kiss.

"Wait here," he tells you, the huskiness of his voice sending a shiver down your spine.

You whimper as he slips his cock out of the pulsating warmth of your pussy, leaving you clenching around nothing.

After tossing the condom into the trash and slipping his boxers back on, you watch Mark shuffle out of the room. He returns with a wet cloth, pulling your legs apart and wiping away the stickiness clinging to your folds.

"Are you okay?" Mark asks. 

"Yeah."

"You're very quiet," he lays down next to you. 

"I'm thinking," you say, turning in his direction. 

"About?"

"You," you answer, "There's no going back after this, Mark."

"Are you okay with that?"

"Am I?" you smile, "I'm not saying that cause I regret this, Mark. I'm saying this as a warning cause it'll be harder for you to get rid of me now," you wrap your arms around him and kiss his cheek. 

Mark laughs, resting his hands on your lower back. "I can't image I would ever want to anyway," he kisses you.

[9:43 PM] SATURDAY 

"No one even knew Yuta was back in town until today, how did so many people find out?" Summer says as your car nears the entrance to the parking garage.

It had taken you nearly ten minutes to move up in the line of cars that had formed. You're just glad you got here when you did, considering that the line was now streaming down the street.

Since Yuta had sent out the location at practically the last minute, you weren't expecting the dig to have this big of a turnout. You don't even know how Yuta set it up, but since the renovations to the parking garage weren't nearly finished yet, it was closed off from the rest of the public. Which meant for you, it was the perfect place for races to be conducted without having to worry about any civilians.

You finally reach the barrier gate where Yunho and Changbin are standing post.

"Hey, Sunny," Changbin says to Summer.

"Hi, Binnie," she sweetly smiles as she hands him the money for the entry fee, "I'll see you in there?" she asks.

"Yeah," Changbin smiles, "You're good to go, y/n." he nods to you.

"Okay, what the fuck was that?" Nyla asks Summer as you start following the cars down to the underground level.

"What?" Summer asks.

"You and Binnie?" You raise your brows, "When did that start?"

"It's nothing. We're just friends."

You and Nyla share a glance in your rearview mirror. "Sure, whatever you say," Nyla drops it.

Just as you reach the bottom level, you see Haechan driving in the opposite direction, and you roll down your window to talk to him. 

"Where are you guys going, we just got here?" you ask Haechan.

"Damien called Jaemin out," Hyuck tells you, "Come on," he waves at you to follow him.  

You tail Haechan's car up to the third level and easily find a few more of your friends, or rather their cars, knowing they're somewhere close by. Parking between Jungwoo and Xiaojun's cars, you gravitate toward the cluster of your friends, spotting a mop of silky jet-black hair among them.  

"Yuta!" you walk up with open arms to be embraced in a hug.

"I know I was only gone for two weeks but seems like I've missed a lot anyway," Yuta says, "So, where is lover boy Mark?"

"He's on his way," you say. 

"I can't believe it took all these years for you two to finally get together," he teased.

"I'm starting to get tired of hearing this," you roll your eyes playfully. 

"Well, it's true. You two were so ridiculously down bad for one another," Yuta teases, and you lightly hit his arm.

More people begin filling in as they anticipate the race about to go down. Jaemin's car sits at the starting point, along with Damien's. Now the only thing you're left waiting for is Johnny, Yangyang, Hendery, and Jaehyun to set up their positions around the so-called track.

"Fuck this," your impatience gets the best of you, and you snatch the walkie-talkie from Chenle's back pocket, "Are we ready?" you ask.

"Track's all clear, we're good to go," Johnny responds to you. 

Once you have confirmation from all five groups, you take the lead and stand in front of the cars. 

"You guys already know the rules. It's five levels from here to the top. Whoever makes it there first, wins," you clarify, "Ready?" you ask Jaemin and Damien. 

They both nod and you motion for them to inch their cars up just a bit so their bumpers line up exactly. You raise your hands, and the crowd begins cheering as both cars rev up. You drop your arms, and you're engulfed in the smoke their burnouts left behind as the cars whipped past you. As everyone else runs for the elevator and stairs to get to the rooftop before Jaemin and Damien do, there's only one person not moving along with the herds of people, walking toward you instead.

"You're probably the hottest race marshal I've ever seen," Mark says as you turn on your heels, almost crashing right into him.

"Mark," your face splits into a smile, cupping his face and kissing his lips.

"Miss me, baby?" he asks with a chuckle.

"Yeah, pretty boy," you tease.

Mark kisses you again, firmly keeping one hand on your lower back.

"Hey! Y'all can suck faces later, but get your asses in here now!" Summer yells from the elevator. 

Remembering the race, you grab Mark's hand, run into the elevator, and head for the top floor. 

Since Yangyang and Jaehyun were exclusively live-streaming the entire race for people to watch from the different levels they were on, everyone's eyes were glued to their phones, waiting for Jaemin and Damien to reach the top. You all watch from Jisung's phone as Jaemin takes the lead once he passes Ten on the sixth floor, drifting the turn up to the seventh, and you smile proudly since you had been the one who taught him how to in the first place.

You can hear the tires screeching and the deep resonance of the engines making their way up each floor. Hitting one last turn and perfectly timing his gear shift, Jaemin drifts his car up the ramp. The cheers of the crowd were deafening as everyone celebrated Jaemin's win, even himself, with a few victory donuts.

You would've been right there alongside everyone else, congratulating Jaemin on his win if Mark hadn't used this chance while everyone was distracted and not paying attention to either of you.

Your back meets a concrete wall with a soft thud while Mark's lips attack yours.

"What's with you, Markie?" You ask.

A low groan rumbles in his chest, "You're just so…fucking beautiful."

"Thank you, baby," you kiss his nose.

"Hey, Mark!" someone calls him, "How about you lay off your girl for a bit and let us see if you're still the big shot you thought you were in high school," Sean says.

You turn to Sean with your brows raised. The only thing holding you back from wiping that snarky grin off his face is Mark's arm still wrapped around you.

Mark's entire demeanor was calm as he nodded at Sean, "Alright. Me and you, right now," Mark says.

You follow Mark back down to the ground floor to get his car, riding with him. He holds your hand the entire drive back up to the third level, where spectators had already lined the pathway, expecting the next race.

"Do I really need to wish you luck?" you ask Mark as you look over at Sean overconfidently revving up his engine.

"I know I can take him. But I'd still appreciate it from you."

"Baby, you got this," you kiss his lips.

Mark watches as you sit back and lift your hips, reaching under your skirt to pull your panties down your legs. You hand the bunched-up lace to Mark, leaning over to his ear. "But just hold onto these just in case. Your good luck charm," you smirk.

Mark chuckles as he shoves your underwear into his pocket, looking over at you with a smile playing on his lips. "You just wait until I can get you alone," Mark pulls you in for one last kiss before you get out of his car.

You join everyone else on the sidelines as Yuta riles the crowd up. Mark looks over at you and winks. Yuta raises his arms, and Sean dramatically burns out his tires while Mark comfortably sits back in his seat. With him looking so relaxed, settling into his element behind the wheel makes heat pool in your lower stomach. Subtly pressing your thighs together, you begin to regret handing over your underwear, feeling the warmth between your legs.

"Go!" Yuta yells, and both cars take off. Summer grabs your hand, leading you to the elevator to head back up to the top floor.

As you all wait for Mark and Sean's cars to near the final level, the door to the stairwell swings open, and Nyla trudges through, making her way over to you all.

"Why're you out of breath?" Jeno asks, receiving a glare from Nyla.

"Jae and I were on the fourth floor, and those steps.." she gasps, "are no joke." Once she finally catches her breath, Nyla tells you, "I left my bag in your car, I need your keys."

You reach into your skirt pocket and pluck out your keys, handing them to Nyla before she heads for the elevator. Turning your attention back to the race, you recognize the sound of Mark's engine, and you smile as his car drifts up the ramp, beating Sean. Mark's tires screech against the pavement before he takes his foot off the gas and gets out of his car. The crowd rushes Mark, celebrating his win, you along with them.

"I told you you had him," you say to Mark.

"I'll say it was your good luck charm that secured it," he smirked.

But all the celebrating is cut short when you see people running before you hear the sirens making their way up the levels of the garage, and Mark instinctively grabs your hand.

"And I think that's our cue," Renjun grabs his drink and gets into Jeno's car.

It's hard to tell which direction the sirens are coming from as the sound bounces off every surface in the open space.

"Get in," Mark says to you, Summer, and Jisung.

You trust Nyla enough with your car to not even be concerned about it and jump into the passenger seat. Mark wastes no time shifting into drive once you're all inside and starts looking for an escape route. He avoids the exit everyone else was trying to leave from as a traffic jam starts building up, and people honking their horns isn't helping to get things moving.

"Is that Chenle?" you hear Summer ask from the backseat. You then turn your head to see the blue and red lights shadowing Chenle's silhouette as he runs toward Mark's car.

"Dude, come on!" Jisung yells to Chenle, opening the door.

Chenle dives head-first into the back seat, throwing himself across Summer and Jisung's laps.

"Go, go, go!" Chenle exclaims. Mark presses his foot on the gas and begins speeding away.

Finally finding a clear exit, Mark floors it before yanking his e-break as a police car turns the corner. You hear the cops' megaphone telling Mark to stop driving and for all of you to get out of the vehicle.

"Mark," you call him warily.

"I know," he shifts gears, "Hold on," he says, reversing the car, looking through the rear windshield over his shoulder, and putting his hand behind the headrest of your seat.

Mark expertly drives his car backward, turning the wheel with one hand, and the police continue to chase after you before Mark reaches another exit. Ending up back on the city streets, you lose the police tail, and you feel a sigh of relief throughout the entire car.

"Yeah I'm with her, Mark, Chenle, and Jisung," you hear Summer say. "Ningning's with Nyla and they have your car," she tells you as she's on the phone.

"Thank god. Tell them to bring it to Johnny's."

"They're already on their way."

Mark's car drives up to Johnny's house around the same time everyone else arrives. Just like always, the party goes on as if nothing had happened. Summer, Jisung, and Chenle get out of the car, Chenle already retelling the events of what just happened to Yangyang and Haechan when they meet in the front yard.

You and Mark don't get out yet, the two of you just silently holding each other's gaze. Mark had one hand lazily thrown over the wheel, sitting back in his seat as he eyed you.

"Mark, get out of the car," you tell him.

"Why?" Mark asks.

"Between the way you just handled that and the way you're looking at me right now, I can't promise I can hold myself back any longer."

Mark's eyes drift down from your face, tugging his lip between his teeth. The corners of his lips curl up as he takes his car out of park. Mark pulls his car into Johnny's garage, and the party fades into a dull hum once the door shuts. You and Mark are now alone, only in the presence of the other dormant vehicles in the garage. 

Mark turns his car off, and you push yourself out of your seat, leaning over the console to kiss him. Mark's hand blindly fumbles with the seat adjuster to move his seat back and allow you to climb into his lap. 

"What's gotten into you?" Mark asks, smiling against your lips. 

"You," you card your fingers through the soft blonde curls, "Mark, you're just so..hot," you roll your hips into his. Mark's hands slide up your thighs, slipping under your skirt. You can already feel the wetness dripping onto Mark's jeans, the rough material deliciously dragging against your clit. You moan around Mark's tongue, and he grips your body tighter. You accidentally lean against the wheel, hitting the horn, startling yourself and Mark.

Mark laughs along with you, "Backseat?"

"Backseat," you nod before climbing into the back of his car.

Now with more room, you grab Mark and comfortably settle in his lap. You feel the bulge in his jeans against your inner thigh and roll your hips into his. Mark's head falls back against the window, and you take the opportunity to kiss his neck. Mark's eyes flutter shut as you cradle the back of his head and sink your teeth into his skin. The moan that falls from his lips causes you to get wetter.

"Mark?"

"Yeah, baby?"

"Can I?" you ask, slipping your hand between your bodies and palming him through his pants.

"Yeah."

You slide out of his lap and quickly undo the button of his jeans. You waste no time trying to get his clothes off and just pull his cock out of his underwear, your mouth already salivating.

"Oh, Mark," you clench your thighs together, "You're so pretty."

His breathing becomes shallow as he says, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, baby," you kiss the tip of his cock before kitten-licking the drips of precum leaking down his shaft.

Mark sharply gasps, and the grin on your face grows bigger. You let spit dribble out of your mouth and onto his dick to assist your hand, jerking him. You wrap your lips around the sensitive tip, slowly sucking him into your mouth. Mark softly groans, placing his hand on your head. He brushes your hair out of the way so he can see your face.

"My god, look at you," he swipes a string of spit hanging from your lips when you come up for air. You playfully bite his thumb before taking his cock back into your mouth.

Hearing Mark's heavy breathing slowly turn into breathy whimpers encourages you to take more of him down your throat. You feel one of Mark's hands sliding down your back, flipping your skirt over your ass. He dips a finger into your pussy, humming approvingly when he feels how wet you are.

You are grateful his windows were tinted well past the legal limit just in case someone drunkenly stumbled into the garage.

"You get this wet from just sucking my dick, princess?" Mark smirks as he plays with your folds. "Such a dirty dirty girl," he calls you, making you moan around his cock and clench around his fingers. You lose focus and drop your head to his thigh.

"Mark," you whine as he curls his two fingers against your soft walls.

"Come on, baby," he strokes your head, "You're doing so good for me."

You slide his cock back into your mouth upon his words, swirling your tongue around the tip. Mark rests his head against the foggy window and utters soft praises between moans.

You smile, "You sound so pretty for me, Mark,"

"Feels so good," he tells you.

"Gonna cum for me, pretty boy?"

"Yes."

You ignore the burn in your arm and pump his cock faster in your hand. "Cum for me, Mark. I know you want to."

"I do, I do—fuck—I do," his voice cracks.

Your name mixed with his moans, had you dripping down your thighs. You bob your head to the same rhythm as your hand. Mark's thighs twitch, and he bucks his hips against your face. You feel the warmth filling your mouth as Mark cums. Waiting until you feel his cock soften against your tongue, you pull yourself off him and swallow his cum.

"Fuck," he sighs, "You're so good to me."

"Anything for my pretty boy," you kiss him.

Mark grabs the back of your neck, deepening the kiss. He pushes his tongue past your lips, tasting the lingering saltiness in your mouth. Mark pulls you back on top of him to straddle his thigh. You start grinding your hips against his denim-clad leg.

"As much as I like having you beneath me I think I like seeing you on top of me more," Mark says, looking up at you. "That feel good, princess?" he asks, purposely flexing his thigh.

"Yes," you whimper.

"You that desperate, you gotta fuck yourself on my thigh like this?"

"For you, yes," you tell him.

Mark cups your ass beginning to direct your movements as he holds eye contact with you. You can't take it anymore and bury your head in his neck. "What's wrong, baby?"

"I'm gonna cum," you mumble against his throat.

"Already?" he teases. Mark pulls your face out of the crook of his neck. "Let me see your pretty face when you cum for me."

"Mark," you grab onto his shoulders.

"Yeah, sweetheart? Say my name."

"Mark, please."

You throw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut and digging your manicured nails into Mark's skin.

"That's it, baby. That's my good girl," he rubs his hands up your thighs, and you continue to ride out your high.

You slump against Mark's body, and he holds you close, rubbing his hand up and down your back.

"That was so hot." Mark says.

You smile into the kiss, "The things you do to me, Mark Lee."

You hear a knock on the door, and Mark rolls down the window just a crack to see who it is.

"Yes?" you say to Johnny, standing outside the car.

"In my garage? Really?" Johnny placed his hands on his hips like a disappointed father.

"It's my car," Mark says.

"In my garage."

"Jesus, here he goes."

"We'll be out in a sec." you say to Johnny before rolling the window back up.

"I'm not finished with you yet," Mark says as he buttons up his jeans.

"Neither am I," You grab his hand as you exit the garage and head toward the house, "And I mean…Johnny does have four other spare bedrooms," you say, and Mark smirks at you, following you into the house.

[11:25 PM] WEDNESDAY 

"Are you sure you like it?" Mark asks you for what seems like the fifth time tonight.

"Mark, why would I lie to you?" you ask.

"I don't know, you just seemed to love the blonde so much," he says, running his fingers through his silky dark hair.

Knowing Mark was planning on dying his hair back before his brother's wedding and seeing how his roots started to grow, you should've expected the change sooner rather than later. But still, you were surprised when he showed up at your parent's house for dinner, and you answered the door to find the brunette instead of the blonde you were expecting.

"Yeah, but you're still pretty, babe," you comb your fingers through his hair, making him lean into your touch.

"Thank you," he sheepishly smiles, lowering his head, attempting to hide the blush from the others rather than you. "So, I have a question for you," Mark says.

"What is it?" you ask.

"How would you like to-"

"Race wars date and location just dropped," Jaemin announces, standing from his seat.

With all of you sitting around the living room, you all wait for Jaemin to tell you.

"Well, are you gonna tell us?" Jeno asks impatiently.

"Not with that attitude," Jaemin scoffs. He clears his throat as if he's making an official announcement, stating the location before saying the date, "It starts next Friday-"

"Next Friday? Like the Friday after this one?" Mark asks.

"That is…what next Friday means?" Jaemin says.

"Mark, no," you start.

"I'm sorry," Mark looks at you apologetically.

"Wait, what?" Nyla asks.

"My brother's wedding is next Friday."

"Couldn't you just come afterwards?" Johnny asks.

"Not with that long ass drive. I know I'm good, but I'm not that good."

You were wracking your brain for every possible scenario you can come up with so that Mark would be able to go with you.

"I don't know if I'm the only one thinking this but why can't you just come down Saturday?" Chenle asks.

"I mean he could, but they changed the rule with check-in to keep too many locals from taking up space. So check-in is only available Friday. He wouldn't be able to race." Yangyang says.

"What's so wrong with that?" Summer asks.

"It's his first race wars. You really think he'd want to sit on the sidelines with you all weekend?" Renjun asks.

"Now, you listen, Huang-" Summer starts.

The bickering among your friends continued as you sit quietly, still thinking.

"What if I went with you?" you ask.

"To my brother's wedding?" Mark questions.

"I'm not trying to forcefully invite myself. But if I go with you, you and I can do that drive. We'd get there pretty late but I'm pretty sure if I talk to Taeyong I can work something out."

"You wouldn't be inviting yourself since I was just about to invite you myself."

"Really? You were gonna ask me to come as your date?" you ask, endeared.

"Well I was gonna ask you to come as my girlfriend—I mean technically you'd still be my date, but my date as my girlfriend-"

You hear nothing else after girlfriend. His girlfriend. Mark's girlfriend.

"Mark, are you kidding me?" you ask, genuinely in disbelief.

"No?"

You grab Mark's shirt and kiss him. That definitely got everyone quiet.

"Woah, woah, what did we just miss?" Haechan asks.

"I'm taking your answer as a yes," Mark says to you.

"Yes, Mark. I will come to your brother's wedding as your girlfriend," you can't help the grin stretching across your face as you say it. You then move your legs out of his lap and turn to the rest of the group. "Alright, so here's what's going to happen," you start explaining your plan to everyone.

[7:21 AM] (next) FRIDAY

"Sunny, let's go!" Nyla yells from the front door.

"I'm coming," Summer replies, dragging her oversized suitcase down the steps behind her.

Following her down the stairs, you meet the rest of your friends outside. You make sure you've packed everything you'd need for the weekend in your car before you hand your keys over to Sungchan.

"Sungchan, do you understand how much I'm trusting you right now. This is my baby," you tell him.

"Yes, I know. I promise I'll be careful with her," Sungchan nods.

You watch as Shotaro helps the younger boy hook your car up to the rig connected to the back of Sungchan's vehicle.

"Kun just called me before he boarded his flight, and said the house is ready for us. And we should really get a move on if we don't wanna hit traffic," Hendery says.

"Though I do appreciate Kun letting us use the vacation house, why isn't he going?" Goeun asks.

"He's flying out to Shanghai to meet up with Winwin. He said the car scene out there is some next level shit," Yangyang says.

"So what I'm hearing is we're making a trip to China soon," Summer says.

"Can we get to this race wars first?"

"We'll see you and Mark later tonight?" Nyla asks before she gets into Jaehyun's car. You confirm with a nod. "Have fun." she tells you.

"You too. But not too much without us," you say.

"No promises," Jaehyun playfully winks at you before driving away.

[1:19 PM]

As your Uber pulls up to the venue, you feel the smile rushing to your face when you see Mark outside waiting for you. He opens your door and holds his hand out for you.

"Wow, baby, you look…damn," he licks his lips as he stands back to get a full view of you.

"Mark, knock it off," you laugh.

Mark excitedly squeezes your hand as he walks you inside, his body seemingly buzzing.

"Babe, you okay?" you ask Mark.

"Yeah, I'm just excited to introduce you to everyone."

"We basically grew up together, Mark. Haven't I been introduced to practically everyone."

"Yeah, but not as my girlfriend," he grins.

You both made your rounds for a bit, Mark proudly showing you off to everyone before he got called away when all the groomsmen were needed for pictures, leaving you to wander over to the bar.

"I see all this secret pining has finally come to an end," you hear a voice from someone at the bar beside you. Seeing the cousin of the bride wasn't surprising, but you're still happy to see him after all these years.

"It was about time, wasn't it," you say to Doyoung.

"I'll say. It was exhausting watching you two be in love and not say anything to each other," Doyoung says.

"In love? Okay, now you're over-exaggerating," you roll your eyes, sipping your drink.

"Taeil, back me up on this," Doyoung calls his friend.

"On what?" Taeil asks, turning to you two.

"This one and Mark being so obviously in love since high school."

Taeil turns to you and starts laughing, "Oh, you're serious?" he stops laughing, "Well he's right."

"Taeil, you're not supposed to take his side!" you cross your arms over your chest.

"Sorry, kid."

Once it was time for the ceremony to start, the wedding coordinator ushered everyone to their seats. Before the groom came out, Mark walked down the aisle along with the maid of honor. 

"You ready for that to be you next?" Doyoung asks Taeil as Mark's brother walks out. 

"Am I," he smiled at his girlfriend, who stood along with the rest of the bridesmaids. 

"I'm sorry did I miss something?" you ask. 

"Oh right, I'm engaged, by the way," Taeil says nonchalantly as music for the bride starts playing. 

"What the fuck?" you try to whisper, "Oh my god, since when?"

"Since last month," he answers. 

You don't have time to celebrate the news anymore, with Doyoung shushing the two of you as the groom and bride start their vows. 

The last time you attended a wedding was before you could even drive, so you barely remember what happened, but you can count you weren't as emotional at the last one. It may also have to do with your proximity to the couple, almost feeling as if you were watching your own brother get married. You try to keep your composure as the bride continues on her vows. 

"There's nothing in my life I regret since it had all led me to you. I knew I loved you from the second we met. You've seen my at my bests and worsts. You know about all the good, the bad, the ugly, the dirty, yet you still accept and love me as I am. All the days I've spent with you, laughing, crying, smiling, yelling and there's not a single one I would take back or change-"

You can't stop the tears welling up in your eyes. You didn't really think the bride's vows would tug at your heartstrings the way they did, and all you can think about is Mark. Your eyes find his already looking at you.

As the tears fall, you give him a small smile before mouthing, "I love you," to him.

Mark tries to fight the smile coming to his face, not wanting to draw attention to himself before he mouths back, "I love you too."

You hadn't even realized the tears were streaming down your face until Doyoung handed you a tissue.

"Thank you," you whisper. 

"It's just so beautiful, isn't it?" Taeil asks, also crying and pulling out his own tissues.

[5:57 PM]

Between dancing and socializing at the reception, while waiting for the cake to be cut, you and Mark ended up leaving later than you originally planned.

By the time you were in Mark's car and on the road, the sun had started to set. Mark had one hand on the wheel while you had the other in your lap, fiddling with his fingers. You look over at him, your chest filling with warmth as you take in the way the pink and orange hues contour his features.

"You know I meant what I said before," you break the silence.

"I know," he kisses the back of your hand, "I just didn't expect you'd say it first."

"Why's that?"

"Because I know how guarded you can be with your feelings sometimes," he explains, "But still, I've been in love with you since I was 16—It's kinda crazy actually, I didn't realize it until I was already on my flight to Korea."

You ignore the tears pricking your eyes as you lean closer to Mark, peppering his face with kisses.

"I love you, Mark Lee."

[10:13 AM] SATURDAY

You wake up with the sun shining on your face. You turn over, searching for the warmth of Mark's body. Considering how tired you both were, practically collapsing onto the bed when you two finally arrive some time after two this morning, you're surprised to not find Mark still sleeping beside you, his side of the bed empty.

"Mark?" you call him without opening your eyes.

"Yeah?" you hear him reply.

"Where are you?" you ask, eyes still closed.

"I'm right here, baby," you hear his voice a lot closer as the mattress sinks under his weight.

You feel his lips on yours. Still half asleep, your reaction was delayed before you kissed him back.

"This early in the morning, Mark?" you ask with a lazy smile.

"As hard as it was to stop myself yesterday, I also have a feeling we'll be pretty busy all weekend, so I'll take every chance I get." he says.

You laugh as his nose ghost over your throat, sending goosebumps all over your skin. Mark slips his hand under the shirt of his you were wearing and cups your breast in his hand. You arch into his touch, nibbling on his bottom lip. Your head sinks into the pillows when Mark rolls the pad of his thumb over your perky nipple. Mark doesn't take his eyes away from your face as he takes one of your nipples into his mouth.

Your hand finds his hair, and your fingers curl around the messy dark locks as he swirls his tongue around your areola. He gently tugs your nipple between his teeth, and you roll your hips against his thigh between your legs. 

"Mark..." you finally open your eyes to look at your boyfriend.

"Can I?" he asks, toying with the hem of your panties. 

"Please," you nod. 

Mark pulls your underwear down your legs and grips your thighs as he comfortably settles on his stomach. He guides your legs over his shoulder while leaving a trail of kisses and small bites up your thighs. Mark runs the tip of his tongue along your slit, humming when your juices land on his tastebuds. 

"Oh my god, Mark," your nails lightly scratch his scalp. 

He moans back at you in response, the vibrations from his mouth sending a jolt of pleasure up your spine. Your eyes screw shut, and you bite your lips so hard you're afraid you've drawn blood. You try with everything in your body to stay quiet. But with Mark messily eating you out, languidly moving his skilled tongue against your walls, you can't even stay still, let alone be quiet. 

"Please, baby, don't stop," you tell him. 

Before you even register the knock on your door, Summer enters your room, and your entire body freezes. 

"Hey-Where's Mark?"

You glance at Mark under the covers between your thighs, out of sight, and he smirks. You try to hide your reaction as he teasingly kitten-licks your clit. You squeeze your thighs around his head and quickly rush out an answer for Summer. 

"He went to go refill his tank before we go out today," you say. 

"Oh, okay. Well, breakfast is ready in ten, then we're all leaving around 11. Cool?"

You nod. "Yeah, yeah. We'll be ready by then."

Once Summer leaves, you barely have time to be relieved with Mark picking up like he never really stopped, making you cum on his tongue. 

"Fuck, Mark," you squirm, letting your orgasm wash over you. Mark continues lapping at your folds until he's satisfied. Coming from under the covers, Mark wipes the lower half of his face with the back of his hand. 

"What the fuck was that?" you ask, breathless. 

"You told me not to stop," he grins, and you roll your eyes, "You can't even act like you hate me 'cause I know you love me," he kisses you. 

"I'm beginning to rethink that decision," you tease. 

[2:24 PM]

Having been out in the sun practically all day watching races and even taking a few rides yourself, you decided to give your car and yourself a break from the sun. You parked under one of the canopies Johnny set up and took a seat on your hood. Coming back from watching Chenle race Ningning, you spot the top of Mark's head through the crowd, beginning to make his way over to you.

The look on his face can only be compared to that of a kid in a candy store. You love watching the way his eyes light up talking about the race, rambling on and on, you not minding one bit.

"So, is this everything you hoped it'd be?" you ask Mark.

He nods, subtly parting your legs to stand between them. "And so much more," he kisses you.

"Hey!" someone yells, grabbing everyone's attention, "how about you and me," Leo calls Mark out.

"Alright, how much?" Mark asks.

"No money," Leo smiles before turning to you, "I win, I get to take you out."

"As fucking if," you slide off the hood of your car, Mark instinctively wrapping his arm around you before you can get too far, some of the others coming to your defense as well. "You already had your chance and fucked that up. What makes you think I'll willingly put myself through that again? You wanna try and make yourself feel better by racing him, it'll be for two grand take it or leave it," you say to Leo.

"So he can have a shot at winning a date through a race but I can't?" Leo asks.

"Because he didn't try to win me over like I'm just a pink slip, and he doesn't have an ego bigger than an eighteen-wheeler."

"Fine. You're on, Mark," Leo nods at your boyfriend, "But we'll see if you'll feel the same when I beat him across the line," Leo smirks at you, and you scoff.

Spectators gather on either side of the runway, cheering for either racer as their cars pull up to the starting line. You had been suspiciously eyeing Leo the entire time he sat in his car with that stupid grin on his face.

"What's wrong?" Mark asks you.

"I don't doubt that you can beat him. But I don't trust he won't try anything," You say before walking up to Taeyong while Sean talks to him. "I'm riding with Mark," you tell Taeyong.

"What? You can't," Sean crossed his arms.

"There aren't any rules against it," Taeyong says.

"And how exactly do you think that'll help your little boyfriend? It can throw off his equilibrium and slow him down," Sean tries looking down his nose at you.

"Which is why you're gonna get your ass in that passenger's seat and ride with your little bestie over there," you point to Leo's car, "I mean, it's not like you haven't already gotten your own front row experience losing to my little boyfriend," you tilt your head. Sean grumbles before he walks over to Leo's car, and you get into Mark's.

"We're really doing this?" Mark asks.

"Ride or die, remember?" you hold out your hand.

Mark smiles, finishing the quote as he takes your hand, "Ride or die."

a/n: i’m telling y’all ever since ay-yo, mark has been living in my head rent free—currently the owner of a few properties, if you will. this is the longest thing i’ve ever written and tbh it would’ve been longer if there wasn’t a text block limit so i did the best with what i had 😭 and like i said before all my knowledge about cars is based off the fast and furious movies so…thank you so much for reading!! feedback is appreciated <33 tag list <33: @chardonnayyyy @aliceinwhateverland @itzz-me-duh @nctevia @sirens-dreams @pieddpiperr @yujuvly @scarletsknight

[koemiexists]

Hey! Can I get dom!Lucifer x fem! Reader pretty pls? Like I love him being a sub, but I don't think there's enough smut of him being a dom 🙏🏽

Accidentally Taking Souls

summary: you accidentally sold your soul to lucifer, and he accidentally accepted it. it only happens every one in twelve million five hundred fifty seven thousand souls! which also means, you're the first. tags: PANIC ATTACK, comfort, biting, porn with plot basically, not very good friends, dom!lucifer, drunken confessions, but not DRUNKEN sex, choking (consensual), fingering, breeding kink, surprise at the end word count: 4k a/n: this was already sorta on my to-do list, a lucifer x reader shot, then alastor x reader x lucifer shot, but it also fit your ask so !! apologies for delays :) i'm getting to them (a bit slowly...)

Truthfully, you weren’t religious. Your mother had always been, however. She would drag you to church, and make you pray almost all the time. Once you moved out for college, you never looked back.

When she died, she left nothing to you, but a single slip of paper. ‘Don’t sin.’

You truly didn’t care at that point, you didn’t believe in everything she had spewed, and continued to warn you about, even in death. 

She had always warned you about your friends, telling you that they were demons who had risen from Hell to make you sin. It was truly baffling for her to spout her nonsense, especially in front of your friends themselves.

And yet, those very same friends were on your living room floor, staring at you with various smiles of pure delight.

“You want me to do what?”

“It’s not a want, (Name)... It’s a dare.”

You groaned; you were tired of this. “Why are you daring me to sell my soul? To the devil?”

One of your friends just smirked. “He’s not real, right? You shouldn’t have a problem.”

Blinking, you just took a deep breath, and shrugged your shoulders. “You’re right.” You said simply, and sat down.

One of the girls had unfurled from her position on the floor, digging into her bag. “Here.” She started, beginning to take out various things. “I can help you!”

You furrowed your eyebrows, thoroughly confused. “I don’t just say ‘have my soul devil’?”

“Damn (Name), I didn’t expect you to be that dumb.” She joked, bringing a needle to your hand. “No, it doesn’t go like that. If the deal is accepted, you’ll be in Hell.... maybe. That’s what the occult book told me.” She shrugged, pricking your finger, and dropping blood messily. “I just have to draw some runes...”

After the entire ordeal was over, especially the disastrous game of truth and dare, you retired for the night, concluding that you didn’t want to be up any longer and overthink what just happened.

Your friends had cheerily bid you goodbye, and you had waved them away, telling the group you’ll talk to them in a few days.

The last thing you could remember was the pleasant feeling of your sheets, and the cool squishmallow in your arms.

You awoke slowly, you felt as if you were drifting away... and then you felt someone poke at you. 

Dismissing it, you turned away, until it registered in your head. Someone poked you.

You lived alone.

Jolting up in your bed, you looked around. There was a man towering you, grinning sheepishly. You let out a yell, keeping your plushie close to you as you kicked off the sheets covering you, falling off the bed.

Except that didn’t make sense, because your bed was just a mattress on the floor! It was close to the ground, and yet you dropped a good few inches from the ground.

Fear was coursing through your veins, and you felt an overwhelming sense of dread, followed by a serene calmness- but your adrenaline was still pumping, and your inner voice was screaming at you to get up, run run run run run RUN!

You jolted, trying to maneuver yourself to get up and start running away except when you glanced down you started to scream because of your skin tone-- it was a weird hue, definitely not natural, definitely not yours.

“Hey! Calm down- girl- fuck- bitch, calm down!” You let out a hiccup as your eyes flickered from your hands to the man. He seemed to be fiddling with something, before dropping it and orienting you. 

“Sorry,” He huffed, and you managed to get a good look at him. His skin was milky white, and he had platinum blonde hair that was swooped locks. You looked away again, and he gently put you back on the bed. “Don’t fall off again.”

You sniffled, nodding. “Shit.... I don’t even know how this happened. Usually this is when people sell their souls... but I never...” He paused his pacing and muttering, turning to you.

Your hair was obstructing your face as you stared down at your lap, but when he approached you, you instantly stared at him. “Did you sell your soul... to me?”

“You aren’t the Devil.” You said instantly, before clapping a hand over your mouth. “I-”

The man just laughed. “No, you can call me Lucifer. Lucifer Morningstar.” He smirked, his grin wide and toothy as he looked at you with lidded vermillion eyes. “The ruler of Hell.”

You stared, mouth ajar.

And then laughed, boisterous and teetering to purely unsettling.

Lucifer stared at you as you laughed, and laughed... and wait-! No, you were still laughing.

“What’s so funny?” He huffed, a hand on his hip as you still was chuckling, tears in your eyes.

“Okay, I’m having a crazy lucid dream!” You snorted, and searched for a clock, staring at it intensely.

Lucifer cocked his head. “What are you doing?”

“Weird.” You muttered, staring at the clock even more. Why weren't the hands going haywire? Why was it normal? 

You turned your eyes to your hands, studying it. It was... fine. Nothing was abnormal besides the fact your skin was a different color. You felt yourself panicking again, and you closed your eyes, willing for something different to happen.

Your panic began to increase dramatically as you heaved, tearing up as you looked at the clock again. You tried to take in breaths, but it was hard to even register that your lungs were burning.

Hands were gripping your wrists. You felt sick. Your head was pounding, and you knew you had to be yelling, because your throat ached and was scratchy. You could barely see, but you kept thrashing. 

After a while, you felt all your energy zapped from you, you just slumped, sniffling and trying to catch your breath. Blearily, you watched as a muddled version of Lucifer appeared in front of you, looking you over.

“Ok?” He whispered, and you blinked slowly, tilting your head at him slowly. “Is- Did you settle? Uhm. Are you a bit okay now?”

You shrugged, and he wiped your tears, gently gathering you in his arms. His limber figure made his way to what appeared to be a bathroom, and your eyes widened at the sight of a huge bathtub. On the sides were a bunch of rubber ducks.

Lucifer gave you a mischievous look as he placed you down after stripping you down to your underwear, running the water warm. 

“I made them.” He said, placing only certain ones in the water. “Some of these definitely cannot go in.” He moved a light blue one off to the side. “It produces voltage,” Lucifer explained, getting some bubble bath soap, and pouring it over the running water. In an instant, bubbles began to form around you.

You gave him a look. Because, really? Voltage duck?

He pouts a little. “I just... I made them.... Why not? It’s entertaining!”

You don’t know how creating ducks can be entertaining.

Lucifer gave a huge dramatic sigh, pushing his hair back, and bemoaned your inability to see how delightful his ducks were.

“You’re weird,” You uttered, your voice extremely scratchy. Lucifer winced, and quickly whirled his hand, a water bottle appearing. 

“Here,” He said, motioning the water. “It’s cold.” It was cold. “Icy too.” Okay... “Maybe even...” You looked at him, as the water in your mouth began to get colder. “Pure ice.” Your mouth was beginning to get cold, really quickly. “Haha- sorry, bad prank?” Would it even be classified as a prank? More of an inconvenience, especially with how parched you were.

You stared at him silently, drinking more of the cold water that he provided. “So... I’m dead?” You whispered, glancing down at the bubbly surface. 

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t expect to go to Hell so soon.” You muttered, looking around inconspicuously. It was very grand, fit for a king indeed.

Lucifer furrowed his brows, confused at your statement. “You knew you were going to Hell?”

You smiled gently. “Never listened to my mom. Super religious. Wasn’t my style.”

He hummed in response, and helped you finish cleaning up. You felt tired afterwards, and just wanted to sleep now that everything was done. Lucifer led you to a guest bedroom, sprucing up the surroundings a little. He gently tucked you in, and you gave a small noise of appreciation. 

“I’ll show you around, later.”

You yawned, nodding.

“My daughter...” He had a daughter? “She has a hotel.”

“Mmm.”

Lucifer smiled at your sleepy sounds. “Supposed to redeem sinners.” 

You turned over, groaning. “Go away... I don’t care...” You slurred, sleep clouding your head like a fog. “Ngh... wait.” You blinked rapidly, turning back to Lucifer. “What?”

He smirked. “Redemption of sinners?” He repeated, giving you a teasing look.

“Is it possible?!”

Lucifer inhaled. “I... don’t know. Maybe? I just like to support my daughter’s dreams.” He pauses. “Even if it’s a bit far-fetched, she believes in it.” Another huge pregnant pause. “If it does work, you won’t become a human, you’ll just be an angel.”

You turned away again. “Ugh.” 

He snorted, and fixed your blankets. “Goodnight,” He crooned, placing a small rubber duck on your dresser. “You have to wake up really early tomorrow!”

He cackled when you just groaned.

After a few days of living like this, Lucifer deemed you ready to meet his daughter. When you inquired why before you couldn’t he just muttered about some sinner that would rip you to shreds. You didn’t really understand, but he seemed to hate that one sinner with a passion, so your questioning didn’t continue past that.

He led you to a huge building that had the words Hazbin Hotel in big letters at the top. You glanced at the infrastructure, cringing at some of the design choices. It was surely unique, although you knew it definitely needed some sprucing up.

“It’s pretty,” Was all that came out of your mouth. Lucifer gave you a half-hearted noise of acknowledgement, ringing the bell. You heard light footsteps, and as soon as the door began to open, Lucifer burst past it.

“CHARLIE!”

“Hi dad...”

You shifted from foot to foot, waiting for them to see you. “Oh!” There they go. “Sorry, sorry! Uh- how are you? What’s your name?” Charlie began to babble, leading you inside with gentle hands. “I’m Charlie!”

Lucifer was right by your side again, causing you to stumble. “(Name),” You offered weakly, gaining your balance again as Lucifer began to chuckle lowly next to you. “I...”

“She’s with me,” Lucifer said smoothly, smirking. “I have a favor to ask of you, Char-Char.”

Her attention was instantly on her father, head cocked to the side barely, questioning.

“She... accidentally sold her soul to me.” He started off slowly, and Charlie gave him a weird look. 

“So? She shouldn’t be here unless you accept... Dad!” She yelled out at the end, and Lucifer winced. “How did you accidentally accept a soul??”

He groaned. “By accident, of course! Listen Charlie-”

“That poor girl-”

You looked back and forth tiredly, before clearing your throat. “What’s done is done,” You started, glaring at Lucifer lightly. “Besides, Luci has been helping me get accustomed to my new world. But we were hoping you knew how to redeem sinners so I can be redeemed.”

Charlie began to shift nervously. “Well- we don’t have a set method.”

You stared at her.

“We don’t have one sinner who’s been redeemed... yet.”

“Yet.” You parroted, giving her a blank look. 

She bit her lip lightly. “Yes, yet. I’m sorry (Name), we are only just starting and I know being in Hell was a mistake.”

You felt numb, and can only barely register how Lucifer had lifted you up, pulling you away and whispering apologies against you. “Sorry,” He murmured, and you let out a soft sigh due to his hand on your scalp. “I’m so sorry, I thought she would have found a way already...”

“No need to apologize,” You huffed, blinking away unshed tears as he calmed you down. You still felt extremely upset, but it wasn’t truly anyone's fault.

Lucifer gave you an apologetic look still, before putting you down. You looked around, blinking. “Where are we?”

“Guest room,” Lucifer replied, fixing the sheets as you gained your bearings. The couch was ratty, with small tears on the cushions; the back of it was dingy, yet when you moved, it stayed steady despite the obvious damages.

You got up, and he motioned to the bed, smiling at you gently. “Want to sleep? It’s getting a bit late already.”

Confused, you gave him an inquiring look. He smiled sheepishly, motioning to the clock. “It’s the evening, I think your perception is a bit skewed...”

Right, your outburst. “Sorry,” You said, feeling guilty.

Lucifer just waved you off. “Do you want to sleep?” He asked, and you shook your head, looking at the door.

“Is there a place to get a drink?” You just wanted to get drunk, if you were being honest.

He hummed. “There’s a bartender, apparently.” He replied, taking your hand into his. “Steady,” He spoke lowly, as you stumbled a bit, letting him lead you down the hall. 

You both made it to the bar, where you practically threw yourself at the stool, asking the bartender, apparently named Husk, to make you a strong drink.

He merely grunted in acknowledgment, turning away to start mixing it. Lucifer grinned toothily at you, before he turned around to go be with his daughter.

One drink turned into two, then into three, and before you knew it you were seven drinks in, and you were giggling with Angel, a patron at the hotel. 

“You’re really,” You paused, hiccuping due to how fast you drank your last shot. “Really interesting, Angel.” Your words were slurred, and almost hard to decipher. Angel, however, understood you completely considering he was also tremendously drunk. 

“Thank you, sweet thing.” He smirked, his gold tooth glittering in the light as he moved closer to you. He smelled like artificial fruits, and you wrinkled your nose in distaste, bile swirling right beneath your esophagus. “So, Short king is with ya?”

You nod, still fighting the urge to retch at the stench of his perfume. “Uhn, yeah, he is. I, uhm... made a deal with him, apparently,” You slurred, pausing almost every word you said. “Sorry, your perfume smells gross.”

Angel rolled his eyes, throwing two of his hands up. “Ugh! Val made me wear it for today’s shoot-” 

“Why?” You nearly whined, scooting backwards as Angel began to spray a different perfume. 

He sighed. “I work sex, babe.” When you cocked your head to the side, he began to rephrase his drunken words. “I’m a porn star.”

You flushed at that, and shrugged lightly. “Each to their own I guess...”

Humming, Angel brought another drink to his mouth, downing it in one go. “On the topic of sex,” He slurred, smirking as Lucifer slowly approached you two. “Who would you have sex with here? Based on appearance.” He hiccuped.

“Lucifer is super hot,” You giggled, biting your lip lightly as you stood up, swaying at your spot. “I wouldn’t mind having him fuck me, I need a good pound.” You dissolved into light giggles, finding the idea of fucking the ruler of Hell amusing, getting him worked up by a lowly sinner...

You yelped when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, holding you tight. “Don’t squirm,” Lucifer said lightly, raising his hand to stroke your hair. “I’m taking you to bed. You’re drunk.”

“I’m not,”

A laugh came from in front of you, and you glared at Angel as he smiled even wider, smug. “Bye, (Name). Remember to not gag-!”

His voice was cut off as light swarmed your vision. You shut your eyes tight, feeling your stomach roll in pain as your surroundings became the guest room. “Hngh,” You whined, collapsing onto the bed. “Mm, Luci...”

Lucifer stroked your head as you chugged the water he gave, before he ushered you to bed to sleep the liquor off.

Your eyes were shut the instant he had dropped your head back on the pillow.

When you awoke, your head instantly began to pound, before tapering off to a light throbbing. You blinked, and turned to look to the side where the warmth was radiating. “Hi,” Lucifer smiled at you, his expression sleepy as his wings stretched from his back. “You’re awake.”

“And hungover,” You groaned, rubbing at your temples.

You screeched when your wrists were pinned above your head, and Lucifer was on top of you, straddling your hips. In this position, with you staring up at him, he truly did look angelic. His hair was messy, strewed in different directions. The glow from the light on a dresser behind him illuminated certain visible parts of him to you, and it just gave him such an ethereal glow.

You sucked a breath in as he shifted, his wings spreading out from his back, and you could almost imagine that golden halo on top of his head right now.

“Do you want this?” He uttered, voice deep with sleep and slightly gravelly. Arousal bloomed in your abdomen as you nodded quickly. “Words, ducky.” 

“Yes.” You nearly whined, and he grinned, teeth all showing.

He practically pounced after that, ripping your bottoms off, and instantly his claws were at your underwear, shredding it with a flick of his wrist. Lucifer let out a growling noise as he leaned into you, thrusting a single finger into your awaiting cunt.

Slick was dripping down his hand after a few thrusts, messy and almost disgusting as wet slapping sounds quickly reverberated throughout the bedroom. 

“Dripping, all for me?” He teased, beginning to lightly rub your clit with his thumb as he nipped at your neck and chest. “I just need to put my claim on you.”

You moaned, shaking at his ministrations. “Bite me,” You whispered softly before you broke on a high pitch whimper. 

His teeth gleamed as he smirked at you, before surging forward to bite you right between your shoulder and neck, his sharp teeth digging deep into your skin before he pulled away.

You let out a sob at the pain, then a moan as he sped up with his fingers. “Sorry,” He said, guilt filling his voice slightly as he looked at you with lidded eyes. You weakly watch as he gently moves his other hand over the bleeding wound as the pain eased into slight numbing.

“I liked it,” You murmured, kissing him again, and biting his lip as you rolled your hips into his hand. 

He let out an indistinguishable noise, before he thrusted his hand deep in you, watching as you came all over his hand, liquid shooting all over his arm.

“Good?” He asked, kissing you softly, before pulling away, licking at his fingers that were soaked in your release.

You nod, smiling as he beamed lightly at you. Moving slightly, you pulled your legs up, leaving your cunt more exposed for him. “Take me, Luci.” You had whined, cunt fluttering at the thought of his cock in you.

Lucifer flushed, his cheeks becoming a darker ruddy color, as he took off his pants. His thick cock slapped his thigh, and both of you giggled at the noise. “Sorry,” He laughed lightly, but you just shook your head smiling.

“It’s okay to be a bit silly, Luci.” You had said quietly, breath hitching as he entered you.

Lucifer sank deep into your cunt, inhaling sharply as you squeezed him. You had yet to indicate you wanted him to move, inhaling and exhaling lightly as you eased up around him.

You nodded, but he still hadn’t moved. His face was extremely red as he stayed still, his breath labored. You furrowed your eyebrows, moving slightly as your cunt squeezed then relaxed around him. “Luci, are you o-”

Before you could finish your sentence, he pulled almost fully out, his flushed tip just barely stretching your cunt. You looked up at him as he shoved his cock inside again, slamming into you. “Mm- Lucifer-” You tried to speak, but he just kissed you, your tongues entwining as small noises of pleasure emitted from you.

He pulled away, panting as his hair became more messed up from his movements. “Want me to stop?” He paused, to see what you needed.

You growled lightly, wrapping your legs around his waist and bucking your hips. He let out a small yelp, grasping your hips in a bruising manner. “Okay!” He kissed you, and slammed into you again. “Okay, you want me that badly huh? My pretty baby. All wet and slick for m-”

He paused as he was pulling out when you let out a whimper. “Daddy,” You had said quietly, nearly inaudibly.

“What?”

You flushed this time, looking off to the side as you worried your lip between your teeth. “Sorry, I...”

Lucifer gently wrapped his hand around your neck, and when you snapped your head to look at him, he smirked, gently squeezing, before his grip became lax again. When you nodded, indicating you were okay with it, he grinned. 

“My girl, all wet for her daddy. Such a slut for me, aren’t you? When we fuck, ducky, you look at me. When I kiss you, you think about me. When I impregnate you, you look at me. Understood?”

You wailed in pleasure, cunt gripping his thick cock. “Yes daddy! I understand,” You blabbed, and you took a deep inhale right as Lucifer squeezed your neck.

“Do you even deserve to be fucked by me?” He asked, rubbing your clit lightly. As you began to teeter over the edge, he stopped all movements, looking at you. “I asked you a question.”

You heaved, gripping at his hand. “N-no,” You choked out, and he released his grip, kissing your neck. “Daddy,” You whimpered, watching as Lucifer pulled away to adjust your position. He had your lower half fully bent now, your knees nearly touching the bed as he grasped your waist, shoving his cock back inside you.

Screaming at the new found spot he hit, you began to earnestly moan, loud noises coming from your mouth as every thrust he made hit your sweet spot perfectly. “Ah- ah!” You bit your lip, causing it to bleed. Lucifer leaned in, sucking your lip into his mouth, before he caught your mouth in an open kiss, licking at your tongue.

“Good girl,” He purred, shoving his thick cock deeper and deeper inside you. “I’m going to make you into a mommy, do you want to be a mother? For me?” You felt your orgasm approach as you nodded, whimpering at the idea of your belly becoming swollen with a child.

He kissed you, and you bit his lip as you came, your legs shaking as you inhaled deeply, jerking at the aftershocks as Lucifer continued to thrust, pace off. Jackhammering into you for another moment, he stopped, his cock deep inside you as he groaned, cum coating your walls.

You felt gross, but he merely gently rubbed at the small bulging in your lower abdomen, sighing. “Good?” He inquired, kissing your cheek.

“Good,” You confirmed, beaming tiredly.

A month had passed, and you were chatting idly with Charlie.

“So,” You started, smiling lightly. “I have news.”

She grabbed your hands, eyes bright. “What is it? Oh! Did you find someone to stay at the hotel? Did you find some staff? Is there some news happening in Pentagram City? Wait! Let me guess, did a new restaurant open up-”

You laughed, calming her down as you smiled cheekily. “No, not any of that.” Pausing as Lucifer went up to sit by you. “Me and Luci,” You started, glancing at him. “Are expecting.”

Charlie froze. “Huh? Expecting what? A package?”

Lucifer grinned widely, as his daughter slowly began to understand. “You’re going to be a big sister, Char-Char!”

[joyoushyuck]

Mark loves kissing your stomach.

It isn't sexual, though it does evolve into one more often than not. But his fixation on your stomach is in itself not remotely sexual.

Sometimes, he'd cajole you into dropping the work on hand, only to take your soft hand in his calloused one and lead you into the bedroom.

Streaks of sunlight would pass through the magnificent red curtains, giving your room a warm ambience. With gentle hands, he'd push you to lay back, his own figure hovering above yours.

A press of lips against lips. He'll pull away quickly and shoot you a gorgeous smile. His eyes would then trail down to your stomach, fingers pushing your shirt back subconsciously, the tips brushing against your skin.

He'd run a hand across the expanse of your stomach, eyes glazed over as though he were in a trance. He'd bring his lips to your navel, hot breath fanning your skin, before he'd tentatively graze his lips on your stomach.

You loved it. It'd make your insides do somersaults; your core would flutter and your stomach would combust into a million beautiful butterflies.

The second kiss would be firmer, lips lingering on your skin and tongue peeking out, Mark seemingly not getting enough of you.

He'd nip and bite and paint your skin charmingly, but it always ended with another kiss pressed on your stomach.

[messylustt]

Ok a little thing for hobie (reader has nipple piercings)

You and hobie are just laying around the flat minding your business when hobie sees you kinda in pain and he asks what's wrong and,well, since you're comfortable with him you say ' I'm gonna be honest with you, sometimes my nipples itch and hurt and it's hard with the piercings ' and hobie's like ' I can help with that ' and proceeds to suck on your titties ndjdkx

friends help friends — hobie brown ( nsfw ). longer name. hobie soothing your sore nipples with his tongue. how sweet of him.

hobie eyes you as you shift on the couch, gaze distracted by your phone. you keep re-adjusting your shirt and hobie keeps noticing more and more. until he speaks up. “ya alright’ there?” you glance at him, nodding at first before pausing. “actually…this may sound weird…and is probably a little too much information — ” hobie shifts closer to you, along the couch, shaking his head.

“ya do realise i tell ya shit that don’ even make sense half the time…righ’?” you knock your head back and forth, semi agreeing.“alright…” you say, shifting to face him better. “ever since i got my nipples pierced they’ve always been either itchy or sore…to the point that it just…you know.” you say, eyeing him. hobie had glanced down, staring at your tits as he tilted his head. he’d noticed your nipple piercings recently, sometimes poking through a comfy shirt. he shifts closer to you, still staring.

“mus’ be annoyin’.” he comments, his fingers moving to the bottom of your shirt as you hum a ‘yeah, just a bit’. but then hobie’s slender fingers are skimming up your shirt, before grazing across the metal bar of your nipple piercing — still over the material. “does tha’ hurt?” he meets your gaze, hand now hovering. your breathing had hitched at his close action, as you lick your lips.“kinda…”

“hm.” hobie hums, going back to the bottom of your skirt, as he lifts it — just a fraction. you watch him closely, feeling butterflies erupt in your stomach. “ya need any help?” hobie asks, continuing to slowly lift your shift. “what?” your mind is a little fuzzy. hobie chuckles as he continues to draw the material up, then he’s muttering “lift ya arms f’me.”

and for some reason you do, letting hobie remove your shirt. no bra. it was night time. so, of course no bra. hobie eyed your chest, before he wrapped his hand around your waist, pulling you closer to him making you choke on your breathing again. “jus’ a friend helpin’ a friend.” he mutters, catching your slightly wide gaze. and then his tongue is out and licking at one of your nipples, making you slightly gasp.

hobie tightens his hold around you, making his mouth easily accessible to wrap his full lips around your nipple, the cold metal feeling nice on his tongue. your back is arched into him as your head begins to loll, hobie’s sucking and licking turning far more prominent as he basically makes out with your nipple, his cooling spit actually doing wonders for the burn and itch.

“h — hobie…” you breathe out, as he just hums against your tit. “tha’ feel better?…want some help with the other?” he asks, already moving his mouth towards it. “uh…yeah…” you manage making him grin as he eagerly sucks your nipple, his tongue swirling sloppily, as his lip ring grazes part of your soft skin. “mm…feelin’ better?” he asks, you now partially on his lap. his spit is all over your tits and in all honesty hobie doesn’t want to stop but your pulling his head back by a soft grip to his hair, making him meet your gaze.

“what brought that on?” you breathe heavy. but hobie doesn’t answer, getting out of your hold as he wraps his lips back around your nipple making a choked whimper fall from your mouth. “i think you need a bit more help, babe…” hobie says, kitten licking part of your tits now as he hums in approval, gradually growing a tad addicted.

“yeah…i can help…don’ worry…jus’ relax…that’s it…hook your leg over my lap…make it easier f’me…” you hadn’t at first realised how eager hobie was to help you. and hobie hadn’t at first realised just how good your tits would taste.

© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.

[rrxnjun]

where do broken hearts go? [lmk]

you know what they say about past lovers that can remain just as friends - either they're still in love with each other, or they never were in the first place.

pairing: mark lee x fem! reader

genre: exes to lovers. angst, fluff.

wc: 12k (11.926)

warnings: mention of sex, weed and alcohol, heartbreak, swearing, park jihoon of treasure is one sassy bitch and also accidentally somehow the main character of this fanfic plz dont @ me, inconsistent writing style bc i took 3 months and 3 depressive episodes to finish this fic

playlist: where do broken hearts go - one direction / too good to say goodbye - bruno mars / everytime - ariana grande / closer - waterparks / tornado warnings - sabrina carpenter / survive the night - the boyz

a/n: hey do some of you still remember me..... AHAHA tell a friend to tell a friend rrxnjun is BACK! this fic isn't the ideal vision i had in my mind but we are working on not being so hard on ourselves with our writing so! here we are. i still kind of like it :,)

When you walk up to your best friend’s apartment one day with a tub of ice cream under your arm and the biggest pout on your face, Park Jihoon makes a complete list of things you should do to get over your failed relationship with Mark Lee. And while you think your dear friend has some psychopathic tendencies sometimes, you’d say the list is actually pretty reasonable of him. 

There’s something about the five simple steps that makes you wonder if it’s really as easy as Jihoon makes it sound. And while you doubt it– because the pinging pain in your heart makes it seem like the heartbreak is truly going to kill you in a few minutes if you don’t do something about it– you give it a try, because come on… you’d do anything to not feel like this ever again.

Step one – cry it out.

“He was a cunt anyway,” Jihoon mutters as he steps into the living room with two spoons in his hands, throwing one of them to you– while almost managing to hit you in the middle of your forehead in the process, adding a concussion to the mix of problems you have going on right now– and you find yourself furrowing your brows at his hateful comment.

“Why’d you say that?”

“Well, as your best friend, I’m supposed to be on your side, no?” he says as he takes a seat on the sofa next to you, watching as you wrap one of the thick blankets you got for the male around your figure– you bought it mainly for yourself, because his apartment is cold as a freezer and you knew he wouldn’t buy one for you to use in the first place– and shrugs. “Besides, he broke your heart, and any male who does that is a cunt in my eyes.”

“I broke up with him,” you mourn, “so I broke my own heart,” you snicker, despair fully filling you up from the inside– fitting everywhere into your lungs and choking you up from how bad you truly feel. Now, this isn’t your first breakup– you’ve had your fair share of boyfriends in high school (in your baddie era, as Jihoon called it), but Choi Yeonjun from Maths class and Jung Woonyoung, the guy you dated for a total of 2 months over the summer break before he moved away, weren’t exactly boys you found yourself falling in love with. Sure, you liked them, you kissed them and went on dates with them– hell, you even hooked up with Yeonjun once before you realized the relationship truly wasn’t for you– but no one managed to cave into your heart just as much as Mark Lee, your first college boyfriend did.

“But you sure had a reason for it, come on!” Jihoon huffs, taking the tub of ice cream from your hands and opening it for you, since you’ve gotten quite weak from the lack of sleep and nutritions ever since the break up, hands clammy and not cooperating. “You don’t just break up with someone to break your own heart. He did that, that’s why you said goodbye to him,” he says before sitting the enormous tub of ice cream between your two bodies, nudging you to dig into the frozen delicacy.

“Yeah, but–”

“No buts, young lady. We are here to make you forget you ever even dated Mark Lee, so open up, eat the ice cream and focus your attention on Titanic so you can finally cry it out,” he says, and by the tone of his voice, you’d think he’s angry with you. Jihoon has this aura around him that makes you think he’s always at least a little annoyed at everything– but he told you to not mind it and that it’s just his sassy bitch attitude. 

He does have a point, though. You broke up with Mark because he broke your heart first– there was no other reason for it. If it was something minor, something small, you were sure you could work on it. You have, numerous of times before, brought up something and had a mature conversation about it– something you always so admired about Mark, being so cautious and understanding when navigating problems in the relationship– but when you bring up the same thing over and over, and it never gets fixed despite him telling you he’ll try harder next time, you think you’re allowed to feel a little heartbroken at his nonexistent efforts. And that’s exactly why you decided to quit the relationship– after a while, you felt like you were putting in more effort than he was, effectively making you feel like he’s not even that interested in dating you in the first place.

First, he just told you he was forgetful. He forgot he promised to pick you up from class one day– and you said that it’s okay, he is busy, after all– and it was the first time it happened, so you didn’t really mind that much, truly. Then, he forgot about the date you scheduled– but it was fine, because you didn’t have reservations anyway, you could change the day to any other day of the week, after all. He kept forgetting the stuff you told him in between the conversations you shared– and it was small things, you understand, but sometimes, you wondered if he was ever really listening to you at all. 

Forgetful soon turns not interested in your eyes, and when he doesn’t call you in the evening like he promised he would, when he doesn’t show up to the party you invited him to, because he forgot it was that day, you’re one step closer to calling it quits, because each and every one of these situations sends a sharp pain into your stomach. The last straw was just last week, though– and realistically, it was an important day, as much that you thought the day is somehow gonna fix everything, but the truth is somewhere completely else as Mark Lee forgets about your one year anniversary and never shows up at your doorstep for the dinner you prepared for the two of you like he promised he would. 

And it doesn’t click in him two days after either– you don’t even get a text. He got so forgetful over time that he forgot about you completely, and that’s when you took an uber to his place and broke up with him for good.

And even though the breakup was the most painful thing you’ve ever felt yourself go through, Jihoon is right– you’re not the one that broke your own heart. Mark Lee did that for you many times before, and this was just the breaking point.

“Fucking hell, you bought cookies and cream again?” Jihoon huffs when he takes another spoonful of the ice cream into his mouth, eyebrows furrowing at the sweet taste. Looking at him from the corner of your eye, you wipe your left cheek as you hum, immune to his nagging by now.

“You know I hate cookies and cream!”

“You know, Hoon, I bought this for myself. When you’re the one that’s heartbroken, we’ll share your favorite ice cream flavor instead,” you mumble, munching on the coldness on your tongue, sniffling a little when your eyes avert to the TV screen.

And after that, the teasing from your best friend’s side stops. Maybe it’s just because he hates to see you cry– and he rarely gets the chance, if you’re being honest, since you’re pretty good at handling your emotions– but you secretly know that it’s because when he looks back at the TV screen in front of the two of you, the sad part of the movie hasn’t even started yet and the tears are not the result of the movie, but of your own thoughts instead.

Step two – give him back all of his stuff and the stuff he’s given you that reminds you of him. Demand that he does the same.

Now, step two was a thing most couples do when they break up. Realistically, it makes sense– you wouldn’t want stuff that’s not yours just laying around, and also, it’s just bound to remind you of the person you lost. Naturally, you’d want to return it.

“Why does he have to return my things as well?” you mutter under your breath as Jihoon helps you fold all Mark’s hoodies into a cardboard box, alongside with wrapping the little things your ex boyfriend made out of ceramic for you in tissue paper like you asked him to– even though he complained and said that it shouldn’t matter to you if they break, because you are the heartbroken one– but you held those little things too close to your heart to let them get damaged in the first place.

“Because that’s how it works,” Jihoon hums, watching as you throw another one of Mark’s shirts onto the top of his head, shielding his vision. “What, you don’t want your stuff back?”

“I mean…” you mumble, deeply considering of the fact that the thought of getting your stuff back didn’t even cross your mind until now, before you realize your favorite pair of socks is thrown somewhere in Mark’s drawers– the blue ones with peaches on them– and you suddenly have the revelation that while you don’t necessarily need the stuff back, you’d love to wear those socks again. “I guess…” you note as you walk over to Jihoon and take a glance into the full cardboard box, looking over the stuff and chewing on the inside of your cheek.

“It’s like witchcraft, y’know,” Jihoon points out, looking at you with fierce eyes mirroring the stupid idea that just flashed through his brain, “if you don’t exchange the things, a piece of you is still kept at his apartment and you won’t be able to move on.”

And again, Park Jihoon does have psychopathic tendencies, but he may be onto something here. So you listen to him as you nod along and close the cardboard box, ready to drive over to Mark Lee’s apartment and drop off the things you’ve collected from him for the past year. The box includes all of the clothes messily scattered across your drawers and your closet, the picture frame of you two together that you always had on your night stand, the ceramic bowls and a little tiger sculpture he made for you when he took a pottery class with his friend Renjun, and the lost guitar pics you found under your bed and at the very top of your bookshelf from when he used to bring his guitar along and play you songs on rainy afternoons. The only things of Mark’s that you kept were the love letter he gave you for your birthday and the USB with his cover of Justin Bieber’s Off my face on it that he shyly gifted to you on one of your dates; but you would never tell Jihoon that in fear of him getting rid of those most precious memories for you.

It’s good to let go, but you don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to keep something to remind you of the good times. The times you still felt loved by Mark.

“Off we go,” you say, standing up and bringing the box towards your front door, your best friend at your feet. He promised to drive you to Mark’s place– you think he’s worried about you meeting your ex-boyfriend face to face for the first time since the break up, but he said it’s because you’re too broke to Uber all the time, efficiently throwing all the considerate thoughts you were accrediting him out the window– and after a few minutes of the drive, you find yourself standing on the doorstep of Mark Lee's apartment.

Taking a deep breath in and out, almost chickening out with the flood of thoughts and excuses you could say to Jihoon when you come back to his car with the box still in your hands– sayings like “he wasn’t home” or “he didn’t want those back”, the latter stupider than the first– you decide to face your problems head-on and finally knock on the mahogany door, waiting for Mark to answer. And he does– of course he does, because he’s always home, and as his ex-girlfriend of one year, you're painfully aware of the fact– but when that happens, you feel your heart falling all the way down to your stomach, crushing you and suddenly making it hard for you to breathe. 

“Um… hi,” he greets you, voice a little groggy, as if he hasn’t spoken in a while– and when you meet his eyes, the deep chocolate orbs you always found yourself admiring and writing silent odes to in your head, you quickly glance away in fear of staring into them for too long and making decisions you wouldn’t like to make.

“Hi,” you awkwardly greet back, clearing your throat and moving a little in your place, shifting the weight from one foot to the other. You're surprised you're able to keep up with the conversation, thoughts running in your brain faster than you can comprehend them, heartbeat ringing in your ears from the unexpected anxiety. Maybe Jihoon was right and you should've taken a shot before coming here– at least you'd have more courage and social skills clearly needed for this kind of interaction. “I… brought you back your things,” you say, finally looking up at the male and chewing on your lips, letting out an awkward, tense laugh when he stares at you with an empty look, “figured you’d want them back,” you add, watching as the male opens his mouth and closes it in what seems to be shock before he presses his lips tightly together and nods at you.

“Uh, yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly as he watches you clumsily hold up the cardboard box to him, ready to leave his stuff there with him and escape as fast as you can, not really minding how you'll get back to Jihoon's car– if jumping down the window of the entrance hall is the fastest option, you're ready to get to it. The truth is, everything is starting to get a little too hard to bear– his familiar scent filling your nose, the hoodie he wore to your first date enveloping his figure, his messy hair reminding you of the many times you brushed your fingers through it in attempts to smooth it down. It’s only been two weeks since you last saw him, but it was starting to feel as if you forgot about him already and were now relearning all the things you once fell in love with again, looking at him in the same light, yet noticing him and all the small details a little bit differently. “Thanks, I… I actually, uh… I have your stuff here too, so if you want it back I’ll– I can just–”

“Y-yeah,” you nod, almost a little too eagerly, “that would be… cool,” you say, trying hard to ignore the fact that he had your stuff packed too, intending to give it to you, and the crashing reality that comes with it, telling you he was prepared to do this before you were and how it’s making you feel kind of shitty.

Mark moves further into the apartment, the sound of him dropping the box to the floor filling your ears before he’s back at the door in no time, a similar cardboard box in his hands that he offers to you with a tense smile on his face. “Wanted to bring it around so I had an excuse to see you, but you, uh… beat me to it, I guess…” 

Looking at him as you take the box out of his hands, gaze as if to tell him not to say such words to you when you’re still so fragile to his effect, you only nod and mutter out a simple “Thanks,” before you turn on your heel and intend to take the stairs back down.

“I’ll… see you around, then?” Mark calls after you as you take the first step out– something about it making you feel like it’s the first step out of his life, in a way– and you only nod, because one, you truly don’t know how else to reply to this question, and two, you really, really don’t know if you’ll ever see him again, but you can't bring yourself to say it to his face. Somehow, it would feel like torture to admit it– and you're not prepared for that reality just yet.

Rushing outside and getting into Jihoon's car, you almost feel like you’re on the verge of breaking, and when the male asks you how it went as he’s reversing out of the parking lot, you only bid him a one-word reply before you look through the box on your way home, too impatient to stay back from the memories.

And Jihoon didn’t really think this one through, because the fact that you gave Mark back the things that reminded you of him meant that he did the same, and now all the things you brought along to Mark’s apartment were in the cardboard box, all stained with countless memories and feelings attached to each and every single thing. The artwork you made for him, the little heart-shaped keychain you gave him for his birthday, the plant you gave him that was now long dead and dried out– those were once your stuff, but all in this world with the intention of love being sent out through them to your now ex-lover, and the fact that they’re in your possession again instead of his is not making letting go of Mark any easier. 

And maybe Mark was right and he truly was forgetful, because as you rummage through the contains of the box, while you find out your favorite blue socks are nowhere to be seen, surely still buried somewhere in the drawers of his closet, obliterated out of his memory, there’s a gray hoodie sitting at the bottom and it’s surely not yours– it’s his and it was always your favorite, and you always used to wear it at his place when you got cold or when you just really wanted to smell his cologne, and you suddenly don't know if it's presence in the box slipped his mind or if he truly left it there on purpose. 

Couldn’t he forget about that too?

Step three – block his number.

The third step comes into place after you accidentally slip out to Jihoon about the phone call you get on a Friday night– more like two hours into Saturday already– and now, most of all, you must admit that your best friend might be right about his advice.

Your phone starts ringing at 2:11 AM, and while you weren’t sleeping– you’ve been having some trouble with dozing off without being overbeared with thoughts lately– the name flashing on your screen shocks you for more reasons than one. 

Mark Lee calls you, three weeks after your breakup, in the middle of the night. You haven’t spoken since the time he gave you back your stuff, and even though you’ve done quite a bit of stalking on his social media, you have no news of him or his whereabouts. Naturally, a call from him in the middle of the night startles you and shakes you to the core. He has no reason to call you, so your brain does the math and concludes there must be an emergency– and god knows that even after being hurt by him, you could never ignore him and leave him hanging in a state of need.

So you pick up– with shaky hands and a raging heartbeat, expecting the worst. Listening to the other side of the line, you take a deep breath in and out, bracing yourself for the impact of the words you’re going to hear. The voice on the other side is laced with haziness and his tone is almost a little tired– worn out, even– when he finally greets you from wherever he is.

“Hi,” Mark says, and for a second, your heartbeat steadies itself and the world stops spinning– he sounds okay, and for a moment, you’re grateful to hear his voice.

Humming, as if to collect your thoughts, you clear your throat before you offer him an answer. “Hello,” you greet, “what’s- what’s up?”

“Just wanted to hear your voice,” he says, almost a little abruptly to your question. He doesn't overthink his answer and he doesn't give himself time to think if it's a good idea or not– he just blurts it out and now it's your problem to deal with, when it's there, out in the open. Your palms get sweaty and you start to lose feeling in your fingertips, making you take a few seconds to yourself to process the situation before you decide to finally answer to the strange sentence. 

“It’s late, Mark,” you mumble, and you involuntarily wonder if the sentence doesn’t have double meaning– it's too late for anyone to call at this hour, and at the same time, it’s been weeks since your ex boyfriend lost the privilege of listening to your voice when he can’t sleep in the middle of the night whenever he feels like it– and it’s now too late to do anything about it or make it any easier to deal with.

“Shit, sorry,” he chuckles to himself, and you suddenly recognise the laziness in his voice to be the effect of his and his best friend Hyuck’s Friday endeavors; the sweet coating of his voice being the effect of none other than the momentary bliss that comes with the relaxation of his body and mind when he's high. “Didn’t realize,” he concludes, making you shake your head at him in disbelief– not really mattering that he can’t see you in the act.

“‘s okay,” you mumble– and in your perfect reality, you hang up the phone now. In your perfect reality, you connect it to your charger and close your eyes, calling it a night. You fall asleep with no thoughts rummaging through your brain and wake up in the morning to a new sunny day, ready to take on the responsibilities of what’s to come, having productive days ended with smiles and a hot dinner you make for yourself just because you feel like it. In your perfect reality, you protect your own heart. This is not your perfect reality, though– and that’s why you stay on the line, listening to Mark ramble on the other side of the phone, intoxicated and slightly out of it. You wonder if he’ll remember calling you when he wakes up tomorrow. You wonder if he’ll regret it, or if he’ll just shrug his shoulders at the fact and go on with his day, not really paying you much thought when he’s sober.

“I was with Hyuck just now,” he says, and you hear the rustling of his sheets on the other side of the line, making you wonder if he’s washed up and ready for bed, “and– and I remembered how we all used to hang out together, y’know… you with us all– you always clicked with my friends and it was so cool and stuff… and I realized, right, they’re not as funny when you’re not around… but anyways… Jeno’s girlfriend asked about you, ‘cause she didn’t know…and telling her felt so silly, ‘cause they all kept looking at me and I knew they were pitying me, but it was my fault in the first place–”

“Mark–” 

“No, it’s true. And it’s cool, I don’t– I don’t blame you, or anything. I just… I dunno, I guess it got me wondering…”

The line goes silent on the other side, and you settle into your own bed, giving him time to continue. When he doesn’t say anything for a long time, you wonder if he’s fallen asleep.

“Mark?”

“Hm?”

“You still there?”

“Yeah. How was your day?” he asks, tone of voice casual as ever, as if he’s forgotten about all the words he’s told you up until now–  as if it’s not 2 AM and both of your hearts aren’t breaking at the sound of each other’s voice on the other side of the line.

“It… it was okay, I guess,” you say nonetheless, too hopeless to find a way to end the conversation before he does. 

“That’s good to hear,” he says, sighing, “that’s… awesome. You still taking those yoga classes on Mondays?” he asks, and you snicker to yourself– because what kind of question even is that? Who asks that on a late night call, when there are more important things you two need to talk about?

“Yeah,” you lie, still. You haven’t been since the breakup.

“That’s great. Wouldn’t want you to… y’know,” he laughs to himself, “be too sad over this… ‘t was for the better, after all.”

You hear yourself hum– the noise way more stable than your actual words ever could be– and you find yourself feeling silly in the conversation, lying to your ex boyfriend through your teeth; because at the end of the day, you don’t want him to worry about you– because it seems to be the case that he is. And it’s stupid, because he hurt you and you shouldn’t care, maybe you should’ve even show him that you’re heartbroken and that he is the reason behind your pain and the way your life is falling apart, bit by bit, but you don’t find it in you to be so cold and heartless. At the end of the day, you still care about Mark and there’s nothing you could do about it. Turns out that breaking up with him doesn’t magically make the feelings go away– and you knew that, but now you have proof.

“What were you saying before, by the way? You… trailed off at the end,” you say, reminding him of his previous words.

“Oh, that,” he snickers into the microphone again, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he twists and turns in the sheets, “don’t worry about it. It was selfish of me.”

It was selfish of him to call in the first place. But you won’t tell him that.

“What was it?”

“It’s just… I was wondering if I lost you forever, y’know… if there was a chance we could ever…” he trails off again, but this time, you don’t bug him to complete it. You’re not stupid– you know the implication of his words. You’ve known him for a long time, after all– maybe you should’ve predicted this when you picked up the call.

“I mean…” you hum, “you didn’t lose me completely, if that’s– if that’s what’s keeping you up at night. We’re still friends, aren’t we?” you say, and in the corner of your brain, you can’t even believe the words yourself– but if it was selfish of him to call, you think it’s okay for you to selfishly fill both of you with empty promises, just for the sake of not breaking your heart even further.

“Yeah,” he mumbles, “that’s– …I’m glad.”

The line’s silent after that, and you wonder if you two have used up the list of words to say to each other this time, if there’s truly no other answer at the end of this conversation. When the situation gets too much for you to bear, the heaviness finally settling on your shoulders and your chest, you finally find the courage to sniffle out a quiet goodbye.

“Good night, Mark.”

“G’night,” he drags out, mind still cloudy. “Love you,” spills out from his tongue, like a bad habit.

He ends the call before you get to say it back. Maybe that’s for the better.

And the truth is, you should’ve really listened to Park Jihoon and blocked Mark’s number after this encounter. But you didn’t– you’re too weak for Mark’s sweet words, finding yourself still hanging on to his saccharine voice and the muffled ramble he has reserved for you only every time he gets high and loses all self-control before calling you on Friday nights selfishly demanding your attention, somehow falling for him like a teenager over and over again despite promising yourself you're gonna move on for real now.

Step four – date someone new.

“So…” Jihoon starts one day, eyes glued to your skull like laser beams, the tone of his voice so incomprehensible you think he’s going to scold you for the actions of your previous days– even though you haven't told him about the midnight calls with Mark and so if he's not going through your phone, he has no way of knowing. Tense and nervous, still, knowing that the impact of his words could either heal you or cut you open like a knife– damn him for always being so brutally honest, no matter how soft his heart is for you– you smile at him with tight lips, crossing your arms on your chest in defense.

“So…?” 

A nervous laugh almost escapes your throat. If Jihoon wasn’t suspicious of you before, he surely is now– or he just finds you strange by the way he furrows his brows at you and scans you up and down, taking a second for himself before he sighs and seemingly decides to drop the weird way you’re acting right now, shaking his head and focusing on the task at hand.

“I was thinking… my friend asked about you,” he says, nonchalantly looking down onto his hands and taking the dirt out from behind his nails, as if it’s not a big deal and he doesn’t even care that much. “Choi Hyunsuk from Biology, you know him– shabby haircut, kinda short, failed the class so he has to retake it this year…?”

“I think you’re forgetting the fact that the two of us have completely different majors, Hoonie,” you sweetly smile at him with irony, making him roll his eyes with a sigh before he tries again.

“The guy who ripped his pants at Xiao Dejun’s party last year?”

“Oh, that one! You should’ve said that earlier, of course I remember Choi Hyunsuk from your Biology class,” you nod hurriedly, the gears finally clicking in your brain.

“As if I wasn’t talking about him for the last few minutes–”

“Okay, and what about him?” you cut him off, already tired of his annoying tangent.

“I said he asked about you.”

“I heard that already,” you nod, looking at him with expecting eyes. “And?”

Jihoon stares at you, unblinking, as if you fell on your head and he’s trying to comprehend if you’re still here with him or if you got a concussion and need to be transferred into a hospital. When the contact of his eyes on your skin gets a bit too uncomfortable– you swear his looks could actually kill someone, if he tried enough– you furrow your brows at him in confusion and shake your head in disbelief.

“Why are you staring at me like that, Park Jihoon?”

“Just tryna see if you’re really that stupid or if you’re just pretending,” he mutters under his nose before he sighs again– his favorite activity whenever you’re around, it seems– and speaks up again, tone of voice reminding you of a kindergartener teacher trying to explain why it gets dark in the evening to a bunch of 4 year olds. “You know, when people ask about you, they are usually interested in you, as in, my friend Hyunsuk didn’t ask because you’re nice, but because you’re hot, if you know what I'm getting onto.”

“Oh,” you get out, eyes wide in concern and a little shaken-up, “well, that’s… nice of him, I guess.”

Jihoon only hums at you before he looks around himself and brings out the bag of chips that he left open by his right side only a few seconds ago, not really speaking more about the topic. It’s either he’s waiting for you to get what he’s hinting at, or he’s just waiting for you to get even more confused and ask him about it in a few seconds again– either way, he’s not the one doing more talking right now, because conversations with you, the most oblivious person he’s ever seen, are never productive if he goes too fast.

Chewing on the chips, his eyes go wide when you finally open your mouth and talk more about the topic at hand– just like he predicted. “Why are you telling me this?”

Your best friend swallows before he places the bag of chips back to its original place and turns his whole body so he’s facing you, speaking up again. “I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, you’d like to hang out with him. Like a date, before you ask– because I know you’re gonna ask– and why? – because, again, I know you’re gonna ask– because I simply think you should try to date again to get your mind off the loser you broke up with two months ago,” he says, blunt and honest, answering all of your unsaid questions at once, and before you know it, he has you snickering and shaking your head in disapproval.

“Absolutely not,” you retort, waving your hands in the air to only further show your disagreement with the proposition, “that would just be a massive catastrophe.”

“Why? Hyunsuk’s nice.”

“I didn’t say he isn’t, it’s just…”

“Just?” he probes you, eyebrows raised and questioning.

“I… don’t know,” you nervously chew on the inside of your cheek, aimlessly shrugging. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Jihoon.”

“Because of Mark?” he asks, and the moment his name escapes your best friend’s mouth, the whole room goes strangely quiet– you feel your heartbeat in your throat, the tips of your fingers start tingling and you swear that if you concentrate hard enough, you could feel a bead of sweat drip down your forehead with the incoming stress and nerves only the mention of your ex boyfriend brings you.

“No, that’s not it–”

“Sure,” he nods, sighing to himself– and there it is again, the judging look you so despise.

“You can’t just expect me to date other people a few weeks after my break up, Jihoon,” you exclaim, “that– that wouldn’t even be fair to your friend. You know I wouldn’t be invested,” you explain, and your friend rolls his eyes in frustration, sighing to himself.

“Oh but I know that! And Hyunsuk does too,” he shakes his head at you, “just thought the company of someone else could take your mind off things.”

“I have you,” you try.

“Yeah, but all we do when we’re together is mope about Mark Lee,” Jihoon snickers, “and don’t get me wrong, I’m more than open to bitch about your ex boyfriend and as your best friend, I don’t mind, but the fact that you’d be hanging out with someone else could take your mind off him, because you wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about him with someone else, y’know?”

You shut your eyes closed, a heavy sigh heaving out of your body as you try hard to concentrate and not lose it, and with how Jihoon’s tone gets softer and he’s not as loud with his brutal, yet logical advice, he must feel you getting overwhelmed and accommodates to your needs. “Look, it’s gonna be fun. I promise. Hang out with someone new, feel wanted and hot and pretty again, get some male attention that’s not your ex boyfriend, and you’ll see how it makes you feel. If you hate it, you hate it and you can slap me, I don’t know... If you don’t, you can keep dating around with my friends, and I swear I’ll hook you up only with the nice ones,” he takes your hand into his and waves it around in comfort, making you open your eyes and look at him again.

Seeing the softness and encouragement in your best friend’s eyes, you sigh to yourself. All this time, he’s tried to help you– what if you finally follow his advice? Who knows, it might even help. 

Sighing, you squeeze his palm and hover over him to get the stranded bag of chips he’s guarding on the other side of the sofa. “Fine,” you mutter, “but let your friend know that he’s the one paying, okay?”

“Perfect. I'll text him your number, then.“

And maybe Jihoon was right and after dolling yourself up and dressing up in your favorite dress just so you would feel as comfortable as possible, you don’t feel as bad when his friend Hyunsuk picks you up in his white Volvo and chats with you on the way to the restaurant. He makes good small talk and even gets a giggle out of you, the music in his car is low and you find yourself slowly easing into the situation. You don’t remember when the last time you went out with a guy that wasn’t Mark was, but it’s surprisingly nice. 

And Jihoon was right– you feel pretty. And when Hyunsuk opens the door for you after pulling up to the parking lot of the restaurant, you even feel wanted. You like the attention, just like any other girl would, and the smile you offer to your date seeps of tender shyness as you get out of the comfortable seat of his car. 

The illusion, though, is soon broken as you notice the restaurant he pulled up to. Your smile freezes, your palms get sweaty and you feel your heartbeat rummaging against your ribcage as soon as the idle atmosphere of the restaurant opens up before you. And realistically, you could turn on your heel and get back to the car, tell Hyunsuk that you want to go to another restaurant– but you don’t do it, against your biggest wishes, because you worry that the boy already made a reservation and you don’t want to ruin an evening that’s going well so far.

“Everything alright?” your date checks up on you, seemingly noticing the frown on your face, and when his worried eyes meet yours, it’s sealed– you’d feel too bad for pulling out of the date now. So you only do what you always do best– you put on your best relaxed smile and nod, catching up to him and ensuring him that you’re all okay and you didn’t just talk yourself out of an anxiety attack. 

Because you owe it to him and to Jihoon– both of them worked so hard to make you feel happy and help you to get over your ex boyfriend. It’s not Hyunsuk’s fault that he just managed to pick the restaurant your said ex boyfriend works at part-time. He had no way of knowing, and if you’re lucky enough, Mark wouldn’t be on today. He only works here part-time, it’s not like he’s here every day, and as far as you’re concerned, he only worked like two or three days a week when you dated. It would be a weird coincidence for him to be working the day you go there with your new date– you hope you’re not that unlucky.

Hyunsuk is a gentleman. Opening up doors for you, pulling out the chair for you, letting you talk and not interrupting you. He watches you with fond eyes and you almost try to feel bad for the fact that even if this ended well, the poor boy would just end up being a rebound. He deserves so much more, and you start to worry if this date was a good idea after all. Wasn’t it selfish of you to agree to this? 

“What do you want to get?” he asks as you open up the menu, and you squint at the prices, mentally taking a note to order the cheapest thing just in case he wants to pay for you at the end of the evening. 

“Spaghetti Bolognese,” you blurt out, despite it not being your favorite meal. Hyunsuk just stares at you with squinted eyes, but doesn’t disagree with you. After all, he has no way of knowing that you dislike the taste of the sauce in most restaurants– even though your conscience tells you that Mark knew that and always made sure to remind you about it before ordering for you, worried that you won’t get to eat much that evening– the only thing left to hope is that it tastes good in this particular place. 

“Okay, sure,” he nods and puts the menu down, smiling at you before engaging in a comfortable conversation with you. It feels like you’ve known Hyunsuk forever– his personality oddly reminding you of Jihoon’s caused mainly by the fact that the two have grown up together. Everything flows soundly, but you still find yourself anxiously picking at your cuticles as you cautiously look around the restaurant, fearing the fact that you could catch a glimpse of your ex boyfriend at any second.

And maybe you should be a psychic, because those bad feelings were not there for nothing– when you see a waiter walking out of the back and eyeing your table, ready to get your order, the boy is a few inches taller than your current date, raven hair messy, but still a little styled, dark circles under the man’s eyes, and there he is– your ex boyfriend. Mark Lee halts in his movements, wearing his work uniform, eyes wide, a hint of something that breaks you at least in two mirroring in his orbs before he turns on his heel and disappears in the back again. When he doesn’t come back and his co-worker joins you and Hyunsuk at your table with a warm smile, you stop waiting to see the glimpse of him you selfishly desired to catch despite fearing the interaction the whole evening.

You want to fall through the floor and disappear in the depths of this earth. For some reason, you feel mortified. What would he think? And why do you even care about his feelings? A million different thoughts run through your brain and you worry that you’re being too distant from your current date, but Hyunsuk’s warm eyes reassure you that he doesn’t mind. 

Piercing the food on your table with your eyes, you try to battle the noisy words running around your brain. 

It’s easy to say you’re over someone when you don’t see them. To have them in front of you, meet their gaze and acknowledge their existence and still be able to nod and say that you’ve moved on, is something completely different. 

Were you ever convinced that you were over Mark Lee in the first place, though?

After all of this– the months of following Jihoon’s advice, although making a few mishaps along the way as you continue to pick up Mark’s calls on Friday nights, snoop around his socials and let your mind wander to places it shouldn’t, overthinking everything and making you wish the relationship never ended in the first place– it’s time for the last step of it all. The last, most crucial part of this whole moving on process– the most important one, if you may.

Step five – avoid him at all costs.

Sounds easy, right? After the four previous steps, you’d already cried plenty about the lost months with your ex-boyfriend. You’d already given him back all of his stuff, not tying yourself to him with any material memory. You’d already gone on a date with someone new, choosing to distract yourself instead of letting yourself feel the emotions. After all the previous steps, this one’s supposed to be the easiest one. The one you’re supposed to want to do, after all. The break-up wasn’t messy, but it was still painful– it’s only natural for you to not want to see Mark ever again, right?

Wrong.

Because you never listen to the advice you’re given. That just wouldn’t be you, would it?

And so when Mark Lee calls you one day and tells you that he has a free train ticket to the Bukhansan stop, explaining that he was supposed to go hike there with Donghyuck who canceled on him last minute because of an assignment due midnight, you don’t really hesitate much before you shoot him a short text saying that you’re down and get ready for the short hike. 

When you meet your ex boyfriend at the station, his figure slightly slouched up until the moment his eyes meet yours, you feel the quiet tension in the air. You’ve seen each other a few times before this meeting– on a party you went to with Jihoon, at the campus when you went to class one morning, your ex boyfriend walking you towards the Art building, hell, you’ve even met in the grocery store, all accidental and making your heart leap in your chest with tension. This time, though, you’re here completely intentionally, just to hang out with him, and something about the fact makes a dull pain shoot all through your intestines, a sensation so uncomfortable you try to hide with a tight-lipped smile. 

“Ready for the hike?” he asks, adjusting the bag on his back, playing with the straps with clammy fingers. You can’t help but notice how he looks just like a little boy, in his little world, shielded from everything. He seems to have taken a protective stance, and you hate how the air between you shifted from how you two used to be when you were dating. Mark seems scared. Nervous. On top of his feet. Maybe you shouldn’t have agreed to this at all.

You’re already here, though. Turning around and leaving wouldn’t really work right now, as you take a step towards the train that’s just arrived, humming to your ex boyfriend in agreement. Taking a seat on the place Mark’s pointed to you on the train ticket, you try to loosen up your muscles and get as comfortable as you can, clearing your mind as you gaze outside of the window.

“How have you been?” he asks, clearing his throat.

Pressing your lips into a tight line, you turn to him as you search for an answer. “Better,” you nod, voice quiet. “You?”

Mark hums, chewing the inside of his cheek. “Good, good,” he lies through his teeth, “I’ve seen you at the restaurant the other day,” he hints, and you battle the sigh that’s begging to cut out of your throat. You don’t know where he’s going with the sentence. It’s not a question– only a proposition, barely even that– and you could ignore it with a nod of your head, you could pay it no mind as you see the bitterness in his gaze and the slightly self-conscious averting of his stare. You don’t know where he’s going with the conversation, but frankly, you don’t know where you are going with your answer either, as you shrug to him in a casual manner and peep under your breath.

“Yeah,” you say, “that was just… Jihoon’s friend from uni, I suppose,” you complete, and the sentence hints at nothing– it doesn’t clear out the confusion, it doesn’t outright say anything that could make Mark believe that it was just a casual hang-out with a friend, but still, you see the boy visibly relax as he nods to you and offers you a tight-lipped smile.

“Oh,” he hums, looking out of the window, past the profile of your face. The change in topic is sudden and sharp, but also welcome as he falls into a casual conversation with you, and suddenly, you’re reminded by the Mark you once knew– the guy you’ve once called not socially awkward, but so social that it’s awkward– as he talks to you about his day and rambles on about the weather. “It’s good that it won’t rain today, I bet the view will be nice.”

Locking your gaze with him for a brief second, you lick your lips and point your eyes towards the ground. It’s good that it won’t rain today, as opposed to last time you two went to the Bukhansan trail. You wonder if he remembers.

Before you have a chance to mention it– and in all reality, you won’t, no matter how bold you could be feeling at the moment– the train comes to a stop at your station and you hop out of the carriage, ready for the hike.

It’s easy to forget how messed up things have gotten between the two of you when you walk alongside with your ex boyfriend, laughing at his silly jokes and gasping at everything he shows to you with a pointed finger, finding yourself admiring the sound of his giggle when he spots a squirrel pass your path somewhere near the top of the hill. The trail is almost empty at this hour, since the two of you have decided to go in the late afternoon, and you find your soul to finally be at peace after so many weeks, you finally feel relaxed in the nature, one with the wind and the gentle sound of birds chirping lullying your running thoughts to a rest. 

You realize that this is just what you needed all this time. You needed to get out and walk for some while, to tune out yourself and to accept the fact that you’re still here, for another day, and something about that is still a blessing. Watching the back of Mark’s head as he walks a step in front of you due to the narrowness of the trail in this area, you smile to yourself. It’s easy to forget just how much you were hurt by him when he heals your soul with such a simple gesture. It’s easy to forget you were hurt when he seemingly tries to put all the broken pieces back together, glue them to where they were in the first place, when things were easier and you both didn’t have so many things to worry about. 

You reach the top just as the sun starts setting over the horizon, and there are only a few people scattered across the peak, sitting on their own picnic blankets and gazing into the distance. The hues of the sky paint the world in a different color, the oranges, pinks and muted purples playing with your heartstrings as you come to a halt and crouch down and feel the presence of another soul mirror your actions only a meter away to your right, his gaze glued to your side. The view is beautiful, but the feeling of being watched isn’t ignorable anymore, and so you turn to your companion and raise your eyebrows at him, wondering if he has something to say.

You don’t know how you’ll be able to come back to your life after this and pretend you still don’t want to spend every passing second with the man on your right. You don’t know how you’re supposed to ignore the ever so growing love for him– even though after being so disappointed with the past, the feelings should be decreasing, not doing the opposite– and frankly, you don’t even want to think of going back to the way it’s been for the past few months. And so you don’t– you allow yourself to indulge the moment, to ignore the pain that’s about to come, just so you could hold another beautiful memory to your heart and enjoy the moment before it hurts you to think of it tomorrow morning. 

“It’s even more beautiful than the last time,” Mark hums, but his eyes never leave your figure– if you were still dating, you bet he’d come out with a cheesy line about how you’re prettier than the view, or something. “It didn’t rain this time around, thank god.”

Gazing at him, you shake your head in disbelief. Scoffing, you play with the grass between your fingers. “You remember that?”

“Yeah,” he hums, “I remember a lot of things.”

The sentence makes you bitterly chuckle. He knows why you’re reacting the way you are– and you have every right to. He claims to remember a lot of things, but the ones important to you, the ones you wanted him to remember, he failed to save into his memory. And that’s eventually what made you break up with him, at the end of it all.

At your reaction, he sighs and drags a hand across his face, seemingly realizing the weight of his own words and just how ridiculous he must have sounded to you right now. 

“I- That-” he stutters, shaking his head, “that sounded stupid right now, considering… everything… Didn’t it?”

“Kind of,” you nod, not wanting to meet his eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out, voice suddenly raw and serious, so different to the tone he’s been using with you the whole afternoon, “I don’t- I can’t remember if I said that back then, when you- when you… broke up with me, but I really am sorry, Y/N. You didn’t deserve that, and I am in no way shape or form trying to make this about me, but I hate myself every day for the way things turned out and if I could go back to that day, I’d do so many things differently.”

The sky in front of you deepens in reds and you taste iron on your tongue, suddenly hyper-aware of the fact that you’ve managed to bite on your lip too hard in the midst of the conversation. Tearing out stems of grass with your clammy fingertips, you focus on the clouds running through the sky, calculating your next response.

“Okay,” you nod, not giving him much else. The answer perfectly encapsulates the way you feel on the inside right now– you don’t know if you’re ready to accept his apology, if you’re ready to let go of it and act like you weren’t hurt or that none of it ever happened, but you listened to him and you internalized his words. He is sorry. He knows he was in the wrong. And you were aware that he knew all of this before– hell, you’d even go as far as say he knew it the moment you knocked on his door that day and told him it was over– but hearing it from him surely moved something inside of you to a more comfortable place.

“I-” he starts, voice breaking making him clear his throat before he continues, “I don’t expect you to forgive me. And I know I shouldn’t have expected you to still be my friend after all of this, and that- I shouldn’t have even called you so many times and approached you at the store and stuff, but um-” he mumbles, shrugging to himself, “I guess I just couldn’t stay away from you. And again, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I don’t expect you to do anything, really. So… yeah…”

Snickering at his aimless monologue, you shake your head in disbelief. “Mark?”

“Yeah?” he stares at you, eyes a bottomless pool of emotion.

“Why did you invite me here today? What was the… point, I guess?” you ask, hugging your knees to your chest as the breeze makes goosebumps appear all over your body. 

Mark offers you a sad smile, head leaned to his right as he shrugs, and this time, his eyes don’t leave yours as he spills the truth into the air. “I guess I was just feeling selfish today,” he hums, and the sentence makes you cringe with the memory of his first call to you after your break up, “wanted to spend time with you.”

“Here, of all places?”

“Yeah,” he nods, “told you. I was feeling selfish.”

Snickering, you look away, staring at the sky again. The colors are starting to blend together into a deep, dark purple– the horizon darkening as the sun starts to say its final goodbyes to the day. You sigh to yourself, yet feel no bitterness or terror at his words. Somehow, you understand. Somehow, you get him a little too well. Somehow, you think you knew the moment he texted you today, and somehow, you think you felt it in your bones when you didn’t say no, although you could have. There’s calmness in your soul when you nod at the implication of his words, leaning back on your elbows and plopping your bottom to the ground, sitting at the dusty surface. 

“You said you didn’t expect anything out of me today, Mark.”

“And I don’t,” he says, voice soft. 

“And you brought me here to remind me of the last time we went?” you stare at him, a hint of a bitten-back smile playing with your lips. “Because you’re selfish?” 

He nods, not escaping your gaze. “To remind you of the last time we went. To show you that… I remember, I guess. And that I still care, just like the last time. If not more.”

“Mark, you can’t just say all of this and expect nothing out of me right now,” you mutter.

“Actually, I can. Because that’s what I’m doing. I’m just… laying it out in the open, and what you do with the information is completely, completely up to you,” he explains, and you find yourself chuckling at him, the atmosphere instantly lighter as you hear his voice in its usual casualness, talking to you as if he was just unpacking what went on in class today, and not the starting and the end of your one year relationship.

And he’s right. What you do with the information is completely up to you, and the next steps and the progress of your relationship with Mark Lee is also completely in your hands. You could turn away and never talk to him again, you could curse at him and tell him that it’s too late now and he missed his chance, but if that was the case, you wouldn’t be here in the first place. He wouldn’t be inviting you to this place, lying about his roommate canceling just to trick you into going, and you wouldn’t be blindly accepting the invitation, wanting to see where the afternoon brings you. 

“So you still care about me?” you hum, looking at him from under your eyelashes, noticing his slouched-over pose as he looks back at you over his shoulder.

“Always have,” he admits, “never stopped. Despite not really… acting like it in the past few months.”

“Why’d you stop acting like it, then?” you ask.

A sigh escapes his lips, his head turning forward before he leans back and sits cross-legged on the ground, more comfortably now. Shrugging, he answers the question. “I guess I just got too caught up with different things. And don’t get me wrong, you were always my priority, always, but I was all over the place with everything and my mind just couldn’t… there were too many things to keep up with and I couldn’t stay up to date with everything,” he says, “and I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s an explanation, and it doesn’t make it better or undo the pain I’ve caused you, but it’s… at least you know it was never because I’d care about you any less.”

His eyes bear into yours with such honesty you think the weight of the world will crash on you any minute, and suddenly, the whole situation seems so much clearer.

And you wouldn’t take it back, you wouldn’t undo the breakup or do anything differently, because at the end of the day, you think it was needed. Perhaps the time apart was what he needed as a wake up call and what you needed to shield yourself from hurting more. 

“Stop me from saying it if you… if you don’t want to hear it right now,” he hums, voice barely louder than a whisper. There seems to be a silent communication between the two of you, a connection of some sort that brings out the strange telepathy, but you just nod at him, a gentle smile playing with your lips as you understand exactly what he means, telling him that it’s okay and that you don’t mind– you welcome, you need to hear him say it again.

Licking his lips, he turns to you fully, facing you. There’s not a hint of nervousness in his body, having done this a lot of times before, and then it happens– the repeated confession, confirming what was there the whole time, never leaving even when the times were rough. 

“I love you,” he says.

And isn’t that all that’s needed? 

A year is a long time with someone. Somehow, you wouldn’t want the time to go to waste. At the end of the day, if love is still present, isn’t it worth trying? One more time?

“And you still don’t expect anything from me?” you ask, gazing at him softly. “You don’t expect me to say it back?”

“No,” he breathes out, shrugging. “I just needed to get it off my chest.”

“Because you’re selfish like that,” you nod, teasing him. 

“Because I’m selfish like that,” he agrees, breaking out into a slight grin.

Looking at the sky, now completely dipped in dark purple, you sigh to yourself at the turmoil of the conversation. You don’t say it back– although you feel it, you know it’s in there, playing with your heartstrings and clenching the muscle in the palm of its hand– you know love is there, deep inside, for the man that’s currently staring at you as if you hung the very stars appearing on the sky there yourself, stolen them from your own eyes and gluing them there selflessly, for everyone to see. You don’t tell him you love him back, you don’t tell him you forgive him or accept his apology. You don’t worry about what tomorrow will bring you, what your brain is going to tell you when you come down from the hill and get home, lay in your bed and overthink. You let the worries escape you, letting fondness and calm envelope you in a tight hug instead.

“Okay,” you nod, watching the boy next to you look at you with curious eyes. You take his hand into yours and place it on your thigh, playing with his fingers for a heartbeat before you meet his eyes again and smile. “I won’t say it back, but for all it’s worth, Mark… I’m glad you remembered.”

And that’s all he needs– there is love, there is fondness, and there is the silent confirmation that all you need right now is just a bit more time. 

Where do broken hearts go?

Somehow, you think they hold on to the place where it all started. Somehow, you think your heart never went anywhere– it stayed on this hill, waiting for you to pay it a visit and pick back up everything right from where you left it.

“It doesn’t seem like a good idea to go here today, Y/N,” Mark laughed behind you as he looked up to the sky, the dark clouds shielding the sun that had been previously shining down on your hiking figures, casting an orange glow on the strands of your hair. 

“Well, there’s no turning back now,” you shrugged, turning to him and grinning as you tugged on his hand, grip strong as you dragged the boy up the trail, your sneakers fast against the dirty ground. “We have finals starting next week and it’s gonna be too cold to go after the exam season is over, so we gotta go now.”

“I kind of regret telling you that I’ve never been here before now,” Mark sighed, but followed you nonetheless, breathlessly following your excited stride. It was October, the leaves on the trees were welcoming the two of you in shining colors, and the wind kissing your skin turned a bit chilly in the evenings– courtesy of the warm hoodie Mark shyly lended you when you shivered for the first time, adoring the way you, his friend, looked in the light gray fabric. Something about you wearing his clothes made the boy a bit hopeless about the day. Maybe he’ll have enough courage to confess his feelings to you, he thought. Maybe, despite the first raindrops falling on the skin of his bare arms, this evening will have a happy ending for you and him. 

“Oh, please,” you squinted at him, continuing to run up the hill– thank god it wasn’t that steep, serving both of you as the perfect hiking difficulty, “even if you wouldn’t have, I’d drag you here anyway. It’s like, my favorite place to go in Seoul, haven’t I told you before?”

You have, Mark thought. But he was okay with hearing it again. 

You squealed when the raindrops got heavier and the rain started pouring faster on the two of you, and Mark found himself laughing at your running figure. He was right behind you, praying that you don’t slip on one of the rocks and break your leg on the hiking trail, but he encouraged you with sweet comments and a hand on the small of your back as he watched the tip of the hill appear right in front of his very eyes, your body coming to a satisfied halt when you reached your destination.

“Tada!” you grinned at him, twirling a little like a ballerina, showing him the place with outstretched arms. He tried hard to observe the place, but his eyes stayed glued to your excited figure, gaze bearing into yours as you looked at him, amidst a little flustered, with sparkly orbs and a bright smile on your face. Your hair was a mess, his gray hoodie enveloping your body was slowly growing darker in color from absorbing the rain, and your sneakers were getting a bit muddy from walking around the place. He wanted to remember this moment forever, he thought– this version of you, the smiley expression on your face, the carefree and excited nature of your step. 

“Isn’t it beautiful?” you exclaimed, jumping around and nearing the boy, but as you went to take his hand to drag him around the top of the hill once more, your feet slipped and you fell forward, a surprised squeak battling its way out of your throat.

Your whole life flashed in front of your very eyes in that moment, embarrassment spreading down your neck at the fact that you were about to fall face first onto the ground in front of your crush of a few months, before your body collided with a soft, yet firm mass engulfing you closer. A pair of strong arms steadied you against his chest, and when you looked up at your friend, you swear all words were taken out of your dictionary, the sight leaving you speechless.

“It is,” he gaped, eyes bearing into yours. Mark was agreeing with you, but something in the back of your head was telling you that he didn’t really admire this place as much as you did– his curious gaze was always plastered somewhere completely else. 

That place being your face, of course. And your eyes, your cheeks, the mess of your bangs, and occasionally– screw that, almost always– your lips. Much like in that moment, a few centimeters away from his face, so inviting he thought it would be a crime to contain the urge. 

And so he didn’t– he didn’t control his feelings and the ever-so growing yearning for you, as he silently leaned towards your face and captured his lips with yours in a firm, yet short kiss.

He looked at you with a nervous tint behind his gaze when he leaned away, the sight of your wide eyes staring at him making a slight flush grow on his cheeks. You looked so beautiful in that moment– flustered, surprised, with messy hair and lips still apart– and he was relieved to not find a hint of a displeased emotion in your expression. 

“Okay, so- well-” you stuttered, laughing to yourself, “this didn’t go as I planned, but I guess I’m happy as long as the final result is the same,” you hummed, standing on your tippy-toes and pressing your lips against him once more, this time letting yourself enjoy the moment fully, mouth moving against his in a careful, yet excited rhythm. He tasted like the strawberry candy you offered him on the bottom of the trail and smelled a bit like rain, the mixture always staying in the depths of your mind as his warmth enveloped you in comfort and a feeling of home.

“The final result being…?” he asked when you pulled apart once again, a dazed expression overtaking his sharp features.

“Us,” you shrugged, “like this,” you clarified.

Mark laughed at that, hugging you closer to his chest. You rested your head on his shoulder, listening to the sound of raindrops washing away the top layer of dirt off the rocks on the tip of the hill, hands sneaking around his waist and enjoying the way they wrapped around him so tightly and so comfortably. You in his hoodie, in your favorite place, standing in his arms. It was raining, but it didn’t matter.

“Mark?” 

“Hm?” 

“If we ever get lost, or something happens… bring me back here, okay?” you mumbled close to his ear, lips gently glazing the skin of his ear, making goosebumps appear all over your new lover. “I’m convinced that this place could fix everything.”

“Even us?” 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re not allowed to ever leave me now, what would there be to fix between us?” you smacked his shoulder, snickering to yourself.

“You never know,” he laughed, “what if I accidentally mess up somewhere along the way?” he asked, threading his fingers through your hair, smoothing down the wet mess.

“Okay then,” you hummed, “even us.”

Staring into your eyes, letting the moment play out by itself, Mark swore he’s never felt more at peace. He wondered if it was the effect of the place, the rain, or just your sheer presence.  “I’ll remember that,” he giggled before he let go of your body, petting your head as he took a hold of your hand, tugging you down from where you came from, “now let’s go home before we catch a cold.”

Nodding, following the man as you both carefully, yet fastly made it down the trail, you enjoyed the way his hand fit into yours and the way you knew that after this, you can’t ever come back to being friends with Mark Lee. He was all yours, completely, utterly yours, and you knew in the back of your head, that you were his– and nothing will ever change that.

You would always come back to the hill with him. It felt ridiculous to think about you two ever having to fix anything between the two of you back then, but even in that moment, you knew that for him, you’d keep trying. As long as he does– as long as he remembers.

Where do broken hearts go? You guess they always come right back to the place they come from– and they leave glued back together every single time.

You guess your heart never really left the hill.