Tumgik
#never ever ever where did you hear that
ratatatastic · 7 days
Text
"ive played in a canadian market ive been in st louis in the summer they won—ive never seen buzz like this" "we're really lucky we get to play hockey in such a nice place" the C and A clocking in on their Praise South Florida as a Hockeytown shift
2024-25 Media Day | 9.18.24 (x)(x)
30 notes · View notes
oceandiagonale · 2 months
Note
Actually, Guzman is his spanish name.
OH YEAH some other folks pointed that out too, makes sense since it's an irl Spanish name (probably why I see it around a lot!) 😳
(normally it's a surname, I've only seen it used as a first name once in a blue moon -- but also in the pokemon world it's pretty clear that naming conventions aren't the same lol)
#oceandi answers#radicalldreamer#still harder for me to connect it to him since I played all the games in english -- it's only one letter away but it still feels just a#smidge closer than 'bromley'#frankly I hope someone out there calls him 'bromley guzmán' as his full name. and he just GOES by 'guzma' bc it sounds cool#that'd be neat#tag rambling#rambling ahead ->#speaking of guzma I spent a long time talking about aus with some friends and well. I think his dad's from johto skdjfksjdfskjd#iirc that was a HC back in the day amongst a small group of guz enjoyers.... but I think it makes SO much sense for gene's guz specifical#ly bc listen . hear me out okay he somehow knew about the bug trainers' convention and he wanted to go and usu'ally they#hold it in JOHTO. he's never won a gold medal for BATTLE but got the dawn stone as his first ever victory -- guess what region you can#get a dawn stone from in a competition that's based on more than just battling? YEAH -- JOHTO BUG CATCHING CONTEST BABEYYY#(hgss edition)#TWO of his main team are johto pokemon#he moved from melemele island to ula'ula where malie city/garden are -- inspired by johto and even including a johto-style gym#(I mean yeah he STAYED bc po town had a sudden amount of free real estate but why did he GO THERE in the FIRST place to join the#proto-Team Skull.)#though ig if he hates his dad maybe his dad's Not from johto and is from paldea instead ('rents could've been inspired by the name guzmán#and just wanted to make it sound more unique lol)#but either way he totally used to go to johto with his dad which is where he won a bug catching contest with his pinsir.#and then started winning battles there but always getting second/third place in actual like. /competition/ competitions. so not#getting the grand prizes/money/stuff/fame that his dad wanted him to earn for the family#ANYWAYS.
35 notes · View notes
skunkes · 4 months
Text
if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.
#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day#how they're already memories since moments pass so fast#everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever#and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go?#should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you.#on the other hand it will be the last time i see you.#and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed#it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily#so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore?#im going to be alone for so much of my life.#i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day#ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more.#how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been#the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief#and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true.#sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately#id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again#like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night#one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again.#talkys#i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it?#how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath....#i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him.#i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore.#i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone.#and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter.#i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i#hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day
47 notes · View notes
saltygilmores · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
Pussy Pursuing Publisher Presents Penis Picasso Portrait to Puzzled Proud Parental Person at Philadelphia Publishing Place
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Philadelphia Publisher Playfully Punches Patella of Philandering Previous Partner, Probes Parking Position
38 notes · View notes
flowercrowngods · 11 months
Text
i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.
you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.
and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts
#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not?#how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with#is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe.#why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain#i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself#that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it?#just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once#but never never never liked enough#i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting#i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out#i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again#but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough#for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay.#maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find#maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months#anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning.#on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you#god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie#but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down#blah#personal#not st
32 notes · View notes
poisonouspastels · 8 months
Text
Thinking about Rana introducing Groda to other people bc she has to be forced to socialize eventually. And like, Groda meeting Sunny eventually and immediately clocking that he's missing an arm and trying to subtly tug on Rana's shirt almost instantly while being very clearly panicked but still trying to hide it. And Rana eventually pulls her aside like "What?? what is it?" "You didn't tell me he was missing an arm!!" "...Why would that matter?" <- understandably getting the wrong impression from this "Because I've seen it before." "Oh."
And that was the day that Rana learned Sunny's arm was ripped off by Groda's Warden at the worst possible timing.
20 notes · View notes
themthistles · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
the shock at the vulnerability of a body imagined invulnerable
-- Joan of Arc, Mary Gordon
174 notes · View notes
m4ndysk4nkovich · 10 months
Text
pffffft what? no debbie gallagher scene could make me cry. she’s an annoying drop out teen mom who’s character was ruined. nobody likes her, why would i cry ove-
Tumblr media
“hey! celia! tonya! open the goddamn door! give me back my baby! give me back my daughter! hey, franny! franny- franny, baby! oh- i’m here! mommy’s here, baby, i’m right here! i will kill you if you don’t give me back my daughter! i’ll fucking kill you! you hear me? i’ll burn your house down! you hear me? she needs me!”
14 notes · View notes
juliareed · 27 days
Text
youtube
Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Sydney Song: Spiracle by Flower Face Content warnings: Blood, death, violence, spiders, insects, flashing lights
#aliasedit#alias#sydney bristow#julian sark#sark x sydney#ssplus#fanvid#myedit#s/s dares to ask a question#what if your mother created a killing machine and that machine was obsessed with you BECAUSE it's your mother who made him.#like it's a part of his code your mother designed. or not code - but because he learned everything about the world by watching her.#like the only kind of humanity your mother allowed him - the only kind of humanity left after she was done with him - was this.#because it's the only kind of humanity she allowed to herself.#to not ever be completely sure if your mother ever loved you and then learn something like this?#what if your mother's killing machine grew up hearing stories about you.#what if your mother's killing machine looked up to you as a child and wanted to make your mother proud just like you did.#what if your mother's killing machine learned about your existence a full decade before the two of you met.#what if your mother's killing machine was conditioned to love you.#what if your mother on purpose designed her killing machine to be flawed. to have a weakness that shouldn't be there.#from her words all to protect you. and what if one day her plan backfired.#what if one day your mother's killing machine turned against your mother for you. turned against his creator for you.#what if your mother's secret plan worked A LITTLE BIT TOO WELL and she lost control over you both. what then. literally what then!!!!!!!#also i don't think we talk enough about that scene in conscious where in sydney's dream jack turns into sark's father.#what if i dreamed my father was your father. what if you said my mother was like your mother. what exactly does that make us.#and what if we also shared a name. what if a part of me - the part i feared the most - had your name.#while working on this realized also that i want a fic where every day for months sydney sees a ghost of someone sark killed.#it's always someone different. and at some point it starts to feel like it's never going to end.#the ghosts will be right there with her for the rest of her life. as always i just want#some sydney introspection and sydney grappling with the idea that her own mother turned a human being into THIS.#which goes along with facing the fact that it could have been her on his place.
6 notes · View notes
girlcrushau · 6 months
Text
Tumblr media
#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
4 notes · View notes
reflectionsofgalaxies · 3 months
Text
god, grief hits you at the weirdest fucking times
#was brushing my teeth and started crying thinking about my aunt#sometimes i forget she’s gone because it just seems too wrong#she was young she was healthy (before the cancer) she was more full of life and energy and compassion than almost anybody i know#and it just feels impossible that a presence like that can just. disappear.#they say one of the first things to go is their voice#as you start losing memories of them#but i don’t think i can ever forget hers#i hear her in the way my mom speaks sometimes too#and the way i talk to dogs sometimes#my mom says she sees her in my hands#she had such a big heart and yet she did work that could so easily break someone#but she stayed kind#she fought for the kids she helped#she fought so fucking hard and she cared so much and she never stopped caring no matter how much it hurt#and she loved and stayed joyful despite seeing some of the worst sides of humanity#sometimes i just need to talk about her#because i know she’ll be remembered by everyone who knew her#she’s not the kind of person you forget#but it still feels like that isn’t enough#like she should have had so much more time to bless so many more lives#my mom started a community fund on the island in her name#she hasn’t decided fully yet where the money will go#Tan cared about so many things but especially the foster kids the queer youth and all animals#especially wolves and horses which sounds cliche but it made so much sense for her#one of the things she was fighting for most in her last few years was making sure indigenous kids in the foster system#had ways to connect with their cultures#either by making sure they stayed with family who could take them in and making sure the family had the supports they needed#or connecting them with community programs run by indigenous leaders for indigenous youth#i’m a lot calmer now after all that typing#personal
3 notes · View notes
sleevebuscemii · 7 months
Text
tmi
#a friend is coming back from a solo kayaking trip in patagonia today and i feel like such a shitty person for this but i just.#really dont feel like im in the mental space to hear about it.#and partly its because where im at mentally and personally right now just makes it hard for me to be happy for others#or at least for it to not open up doors that bog me down badly and thats on Me like thats totally my own shit#and even if i know hearing about their trip will be hard its an asshole move to approach them with#‘im not in the mental space to hear you share something you’re really excited about with me’#on the other hand.#i know the real reason its gonna suck so bad is that with This particular friend this trip just gonna be another thing they did first.#and in a perfect world it shouldn’t matter who the fuck did the thing first but in this relationship and in this dynamic it always has#and so i Know that yeah im mentally in a place where taking in other people’s good news is hard#but also im just dreading having to hear every detail of how this trip is something i will never measure up to#every detail of things i would have to do bigger and better for it to matter and like. idk i fucking hate thinking about this#because it always makes me feel so small and bitter and they’re such ugly feelings#but also i know this dynamic isn’t like this because of me but i also know nothing i’ve ever done to try to change it has worked#and it’s like. i just have so much anxiety around this conversation that hasn’t even happened yet#and it’s because i know it’s gonna open up all this shit with it#m
3 notes · View notes
twilightarcade · 1 year
Text
I wish I kept a diary I would love to read back and make fun of that guy
8 notes · View notes
stellacendia · 1 year
Text
Actually I've decided I'm sick of being cis people's only irl experience with genderqueer/nonbinary people
5 notes · View notes
cigarette-room · 8 months
Text
(pretty long thread rip)
I should be studying for tomorrow but instead I am restless and overthinking and thinking to myself about how there is so much wrong in approaching love from the perspective of trying to be liked and trying to be loved and trying to be good and trying to stick people to yourself with duct tape made of gifts and nice jokes and sweet words because well, it's not only tiring but they will leave in the end anyway, and loving and being loved is supposed to be rest and peace and a sound mind and the more you try the less you achieve any of that! Except I'm my mother's and father's child so I still do it anyway and hang around and try again and cling until it's dead because otherwise it all really hurts but it hurts anyway so
Just dgaf. And if you do then pretend you don't until you convince yourself and restrain your hands so they can't reach out to anyone once they turn their back on you and just. Let people live with their own decisions. I want so hard to be loved that I am making myself disposable like a used rag and for what? It's all gonna be good one day with or without anyone else
#i am perhaps just rambling to myself here#but i am tired of that tendency that was baked into me to try to get anyone to stick around#i remember when my first ex broke up with me i spent literal months clinging to her and trying to negotiate some kind of universe#where we would still talk and be as close as we were before#and she didn't wanna hear#until she did but we eventually distanced and when i moved on she was so upset and i wondered why because? you left me?#and i fought so hard to keep you there but you made your decision and now you're upset at me for moving on?#and the second time around i wasn't any better at it either#and only recently am i realizing that the reason she was so upset at me moving on was because i made myself so reliable#with those stupid promises that I'd be in her life always no matter what happened#and why would I do that? i always cling to people because they matter to me#and they always realize i matter to them once i move on already and am not willingly a part of their life anymore#and like sure i do attract people who tend to be assholes to me but it's on me as well#i am disproportionate in showing my care to people who don't return even 1/5 of it back#and when they get bored i am the one they call weird for that#so i really decided not even to listen to what I need anymore but only to what needs to be done and it's#just letting things go with the flow. i don't have to drag the dead weight of anything i try to keep on my shoulders#do i want to? sure. do i want to be as loved as i never am? i do of course i do#but i am trying too hard. and it's never gonna get me anywhere. because people only ever want me back in their life when i have moved on and#others value themselves more. others don't love anyone blindly so#i don't have to. even though i want. i don't have to#if you gift me a paper I'll gift you a paper. if you want to kiss me I'd want to kiss you too#and if you say you love me I'd love you back and if you forget my birthday I'll forget yours too and#if i hug you but am not hugged back i won't hug you again#i think that's the best way things can go when people are concerned#maybe this is a bit too transactional in a sense but i mean#it wouldnt be fair if it was unequal#if someone does everything for you and you don't return it then you are an asshole to them but#if you give and you aren't given you are a weirdo simply put#it's best if it's equal
2 notes · View notes
butchvamp · 1 year
Text
every job i actually want either requires 3 degrees and 5 billion years of experience or is unpaid volunteer work this shit fucking sucks. trapped in hell oscillating between retail and food service until i kill myself i guess
3 notes · View notes