#new frien!

[evilminji]

You know how in Naruto, Sealing is a Finicky Art?

It's like computer coding, calligraphy, and symbolism had a super-powered/reality bending baby. You gotta think in VERY ADHD twirls and swirls too be any good at it. Which is why the Uzumaki rocked it so hard. But I digress.

Is Complexe AF.

Bends Reality and is EASY to fuck up.

Wanna bet? The BEST way to learn/use it? Is to copy already functioning examples? But Oh! How do you KNOW they are functioning? Safe? Well OBVIOUSLY, your Skilled At Seals teacher looks at it first! THEN gives it too you!

Using random seals you find in the dirt is how you get splattered across three different countryside in peices, after all. Possibly take out a nearly Town or two while your at it. No One Is THAT Dumb... RIGHT?

Enter Stage Right o/~☆ Humanity, Everybody! *polite, if strained, golf clapping*

They ABSOLUTELY Are!

Especially Ninja!

Ninja who, after fuckin MURDERING A WHOLE ASS VILLAGE OF SEALING MASTERS, decided to pick through the rubble! Because THAT is gonna work out GREAT! After all... it's not like you just KILLED the fuckers who could tell you what IS and IS NOT functional!

Was that once the "hazardous advanced class' sealing failures" bin? Or was it the "super awesome candy and rainbows" stash!? You don't know. NO ONE DOES NOW. You fuckin KILLED THE PEOPLE WHO DID.

They had their own REGIONAL Sealing Script.

You know, the one they taught to THEIR STUDENTS. Not outsiders. The students you KILLED, you absolute fuck nuggets. But hey! The threat of the Super Scary Sealing Masters is no more! Good job. You've successfully burned down the library. It can't hurt you ever again.

But NOW? You have piles upon piles of GIBBERISH.

You can only VAGUELY tell the novice seals from the master's. And even then? Do you have any idea what most of them DO? Nope. And after a certain point in training? The shaky, uncertain hand writing becomes smooth enough, that it all blends together in "Seals".

Now... what is the SMART thing to do?

Curse your hubris and the atrocities your fear allowed you to commit, obviously. But BEYOND that, Don't Touch Them. But we're Ninja. So WE are all suicidal idiots. The less smart but still Reasonably Precautionary thing to do? Study the amateur Seals. Learn Sealing from other masters.

Crack the Regional Script and slowly, painstakingly, work through each seal as we sort out what is and isn't safe. What can be salvaged. What can be used and how.

A process that will likely take years if not decades.

But of course, that's not GOOD ENOUGH for certain grabby handed, power hungry, short sighted, fuck weasels! No, no. It much EASIER to just throw human life into the blender until profit pops out! Completely IGNORING, of course, that SOME of these?

Could very well be the "Too Dangerous To Ever Use/Will Destroy Us All/Take Them All With Us" type of Seals that Kage usually LOCK UP. The kind you CAN'T destroy once you've made them, because the fall out would be WORSE. And?

Even if you are a murderous, middle management, go nowhere in your life, BASTARD of a ninja? Sometimes you can look down at the massive, intricately detailed, killer off nation's before you. Something that was WRAPPED in locks upon locks upon chains upon seals. And KNOW in your selfish, survival at all costs little heart... You DO NOT want anyone to fuck with this.

You CAN NOT let anyone fuck with this.

NO ONE can be allowed to touch it.

Not for ANYTHING.

You may fear S Class Kage and Missing Nin and what all else they may do to you. But THIS? Your eyes can't even properly FOCUS on it. It's like a tunnel that's lined with poetry, stretching all the way to the Earth's core. It's perfectly flat. It moves, a gentle rotation. But is that just your eyes, tricking you?

So much ink, it swallows the scroll, and this is when it's COMPRESSED.

How many nations?

How many NATIONS must this monstrosity span, when free?

It must have taken a Master decades, if not their entire life, to complete. Possibly a family, several generations. But... but gods it is a work of MADNESS. No wonder it was sealed. It speak, you... you THINK... of Death...

Of it's KING.

Something BEYOND the Shinigami. BEYOND Death and the Purelands.

Who the FUCK would try to summon something beyond GODS? Did they think they could control it? Chain it like the bijuu? You're so cold inside. Because you KNOW. You fucking KNOW, the ambitions and arrogance of those above you.

They'll think they can.

They won't listen.

You... you have to take this and RUN. You stand no chance. But no chance is better then oblivion. Anything is better then standing by and watching it happen.

You obviously don't make it. You never expected too. But at least... at least you won't have to watch whatever THAT is... arrive... fuck...

At least you TRIED.

And? Because leaf Ninja, specifically certain teams, have the MOST Shit luck imaginable? They arrive, having crossed paths with several other teams, on the way back home (yay! Warm food and real beds!) Just in time to see a desperate looking ninja from one of the small villages get fuckin pincushioned. Drop what is VERY clearly an Uzushio Scroll of considerable size and SEVERE SSS+ DO Not EVER Touch Grade Type Markings, and then some joining from that same village go to grab it.

Notice them.

You know... the multiple LEAF NINJA. Who TOO THIS DAY, wear the UZU swirl on their uniforms as a mourning tribute to the DEAR AND PRECIOUS ALLIES they could not save. The Uzushio Allies. Those ones. The ones that were, in fact, from Uzushio.

LIKE THE SCROLL YOU ARE HOLDING.

By the WAY! How DID you get that Scroll? Doesn't seem like something our dear friends would just HAND over, now does it? You didn't happen to LOOT THEIR FUCKIN GRAVES did you? Cause we sure would be MAD about that!

:)

Real Mad.

Dude obviously panics. Because that? That is a VERY pissed off bunch of Ninja, many in the bingo book, one of whom is Very Clearly throwing off BIJUU CHAKRA. And just said "my family's" Ha ha... Oh Shit that's an Uzumaki.

So he decides to USE THE SEAL.

What does it do?

He doesn't know! But it's probably SOMETHING big and impressive, right?

Yes. :) Yes it Does.

*Crack*

The SKY cracks. Like a pane of glass, struck by a hammer. Spiderwebbing as far as the eye can see above them, all from one central point, directly above the seal. The cracks there are concentrated. A point of impact. And through the cracks... something GREEN shines.

Brighter then the daylight around it, yet darker in color then the blue of the sky. Lazily whisping out like escaping mist. Time seems slow as their eyes all whip up wards. Even with senses beyond the normal human base, it is... inconceivable. SOMETHING winds back. They can not see it.

But they can feel it.

Like changing pressure as a storm rolls in.

*Crack!*

Green overtakes the blue. The sky a Kaleidescape of shards, held together by stubbornness alone. Reflecting a calm day that seems IMPOSSIBLE in the face of what's occurring. There should be wind. Great pressure changes in the face of so much FORCE, but the trees are eerily still.. utterly silent..

Nothing dares bring attention to itself.

Some distant part of their minds try to gather the thought that... that it could be an illusion. They... they should check. But they can FEEL it. Like a weight draped gently but without mercy upon their shoulders. It did not slam. But... but they can not move. Can barely breathe. It is beyond killing intent.

It is simply...

DEATH.

*CRASH!*

At last, the sky gives way. A fist, the size of towers punching through. It... it is almost elegant. A ring, almost in the shinigami's visage, wraps itself in a howling and snarled menace, around a great shining finger. A glove protects almost delicate looking, claw tipped fingers. The fist pulls back. Shard of sky falling, Floating, suspended in their moment of destruction, a glittering frame for the gapping wound that has overtaken everything.

Death...

Death has Green Eyes.

A crown of ice and starlight, pulled straight from the coldest north, hair that drifts like the drowned. His skin is that of a corpse. His breath a coldness that seems to suck all warmth from the world. There is no rage, no great irritation, his face merely twisted in slight annoyance. Mild displeasure.

And yet it feels like their greatest sin.

It BURNS.

They are ants. Less then ants. He... He LOOMS so TALL. The Green BURNS into their eyes, into their veins, chokes their lungs. The silence stretches. Those great eyes, the eyes of a GOD, move from them. To the man with the Seal.

He dies instantly.

Shit.

They... they need to... to...

Naruto wanders over and picks up the scroll, completely ignore the Giant Sky God Of Death and how all his friends are frozen in primordial fear. He roughly shakes the dirt off the delicate old relic, then squint at it. Figures he's holding it upside-down. Flipping it, he squints harder. Tilts his head and hums.

"Oh!"

He holds his hand up, turning to look at the terrifying Deity From Beyond Comprehension.

"It's me! I'm the Uzumaki! But, uh, I didn't actually summon you? Our stuff got stolen. Which really sucks!" He looks down again, brings the paper nearly to his nose trying to make out some thing. "Uuuuuh, huh. Got it! Can you get smaller? I don't got any BBQ or anything ON me right now, but Choji's Family makes REALLY good food! We can go out to eat? Ooh ooh! Maybe RAMEN! You like Ramen, right?!"

"Yep, Definitely one of Shouta's."

Rumbles The Actual Fucking King Of Death, shaking the trees and ground under your feet. As you probably stare at your fellow Leaf Nin like WTF.

"Sure, man. Give me a second."

And suddenly? He's leaning forward. Shrinking and twisting in ways that are painful to look at. The sky is... is not healing, so much as UNcracking. Rewinding itself to a pristine state. Until only a large, floating, armored God in black and white floats above you. Glowing.

One that... that is apparently FRIENDS with the Uzumaki Clan.

Because of course he is.

Naruto's introducing his Toads. And teammates. You almost feel bad for Hatake. But like? Better you then me, buddy. THEN? Death? Decides? For some inconceivable reason. "You know what? Im'ma just turn into a human WITH NO CHAKRA NETWORK. Reeeeeally freak out the locals."

And now Leaf is INCHARGE of entertaining A GOD until he decides to leave.

Or (presumably) Else.

And!! Because life loves to kick ninjas IN THE BALLS (for their stupid, STUPID life choices, YOU FUCKERS) it just HAD to be the One God? That can SEE DEAD PEOPLE. Because it's not like ninjas have Death Related Traumas or anything!

*internal ninja screaming*

Feed the guy some BBQ! Stat! Please Akimichi! Save us!

@hdgnj @hypewinter @the-witchhunter @ailithnight @nerdpoe @mutable-manifestation

[sun-god-cometh]

hi atlas! i'm lekha and i think that 1) your opinions on coffee are Correct and 2) you seem pretty neat :)

Hello there Lekha! Welcome to the correct coffee club, and you're pretty based as well!

[i-am-a-magikarp]

Rawr

<º)) ))>< rawrrr!

[sylenth-l]

2024 ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ 🌟

[bluuscreen-png]

summer here is nearly over and i could not be more grateful

[both characters use he/him!!]

[kinerxy]

silly

[snail163]

:3 bap

:33333

*Bap*

Hi!!!!! :333

[bonny-kookoo]

just gonna leave this here if you ever wanna include it in a fic 🧎🏻‍♀️i know you’d do something delicious with it…

I-

Oh my.

Oh my.

[grimparks]

For all the context go check the account !

Ps: english is not my first language so maybe they’re errors

So as promise, Kyle decided to go to the police station to now if they found something about Stan and Clyde

Police man- Hello how can I help you? Do you need something?

Kyle- Hello, I'm here to ask if you have news about the disappearance of Clude Donovan and Stan Marsh.

Police man- Okay, let me search for a sec... are you a friend or something?

Kyle- uhh... yeah. I'm his best friend and a classmate of mine is worried too.

Police man- Sorry man, it's classified... to know anything you'll need to ask to the detective Yates.

Kyle- Well... can I go see him?

Police man- No.

Kyle- What? Bit you just sayed that if I want informations, I need to go see him!

Police man- Yeah, I did say that. But I never sayed that you could go see him.

Kyle- What? But-

Police man- Whatever... if you don't have anything else to adk, you can go.

Kyle- Oh hell no...

Police man- TF ARE YOU DOING? I'M CALLING THE SECURITY!

Harrison Yates- No, no... I got this, don't worry. I'm the detective, what do you want?

Kyle- I'M HERE FOR THE DISAPPEARANCE OF STAN AND CLYDE! WHY DOES NOBODY HAVE ANY NEWS??? EVEN MY FRIEND WHO WORKS FOR THE LOG DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING!

Harrison Yates- Well it's because no one is on that case, we have other shit to do.

Kyle- WHAT?!

Harrison Yates- What what? Why are you surprised? Don't you think they maybe just ran away from home?

Kyle- TTHEY WOULD NEVER DO THAT!

Harrison Yates- Well, I don't have time for that, I have to finish Red Dead Redemption...

Kyle-WHAT WHAT WHAT? YOU DON'T THINK THEY CAN BE... I don't know... in DANGER maybe???!

Harrison Yates- Listen, I don’t have the time or the motivation, so you know what? Do it yourself. But I’m still not gonna give ya any file or access to the cameras tho.

Kyle- Ugh, fine. But I can’t do anything without informa-

Harrison Yates- Security! Get that man out here!

Kyle- Wait! NO!

Well… guess Kyle will have to find help if he wants to find his friends…

The next day, Kyle sent a SMS to Token to keep him informed. Well, now he has to start thinking about who could help him in his quest.

Kyle’s mind- I can’t ask Token, he already has a lot on his plate and I don’t want to give him too much pressure.

I can’t ask Kenny, his parents are already getting a divorce and is also pretty busy.

And Cartman… he has a lot of trouble sleeping these days, but… I don’t know… I don’t trust him…

Ugh, Whatever… I don’t know who to ask, but I remember a long time ago, someone who’s always helping everyone and always solving their problems…

Kyle- Huh?

The new guy- Oh! Hi Kyle! are you okay?

Kyle’s mind- Of course it was the new guy, I should’ve asked him from the start…

Kyle- Uhh… Not really good, honestly. Could you help me with something?

Chapter 1 finished

[cvbullshit]

I have a CV AU idea

Night of the Museum AU

The Museum in question is a multi fandom Museum that houses all the CV characters plus more(as a lot of other characters from other media and stories do exist as well, just not in the household), I just need a name for the museum- BUUUTTT-

Since Redwolf and I's OCs will also be part of the museum, we need nightguards, which gave me a great idea! I'll have some of my Tumblr moots/friends be the nightguards!

@papermaster @liliallowed @thatidiotutartist

If you're interested in being a part of the AU, let me know! Feel free to also draw yourselves as night guards for the AU, also feel free to suggest names for the museum.

[beubeuxappil]

I needed to socialize too 📸

[cgarttrailsandtails]

Hey! Random shout out to my mutuals time!

Reblog if you wanna shout out someone!

@r0tt1ngr4bb1t @icarusticrat @voidbeau @asmodeus-682 @lunarthemexican @sillymusicsweets @artoutoftheblue @mysticlilac-ec @we-are-the-multitude

Y’all are great!

[reinafish]

I actually still don’t know how im still such a positive person when most ppl around me r sorta depressed or pessimistic

[pawthko]

inprt doing 35% off sales... just uploaded some recent ones!!!

[nickywhoisi]

he cook-a da pizza he bake-a da bread

they live rent free inside-a my head

[spoiledmilks]

Puts her in the pocket

Frien :D

I will force u to watch mlp with me