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imasimpforstevengrant · 4 years

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Why do we like this clown so much?

Change the "we" for "I" and you get an usual tag I use whenever I post my content in Tumblr. And it sounds funny at first but whenever you start diving into that phrase, the deeper it becomes. So, I finally have decided to share my thoughts about this strange but wholesome attraction to this deeply flawed character. It's not something I usually do since I don't know how to write down my feelings properly and also in english so please forgive any typos (I'm from Chile so don't be surprised lol).

So...Why do we like this clown so much?

Why was it that a character precisely designed to scare and to disgust the fuck out of us ended up unchaining a series of feelings that shouldn't have taken place in a beginning?

Let's take a look at the background: Joaquin Phoenix was cast as Arthur Fleck/Joker in 2018. The first image of him as the aforementioned character revealed a deeply disturbed man. We knew the plot. A man driven to insanity after a brutal history of abuse, creating concern in people if the upcoming film would inspire real life violence. Incel violence and mass shootings, more specifically.

(the image in question)

As 2019 arrives, the two trailers generated so much hype that media needed to fuel its concern about it. Since it wasn't your typical comic book film, media basically bombed our minds making us believe this film was going to be a total disaster, an excuse to cause harm to others among other nonsense, as if the film would justify everything Arthur would do in the film, eventually. As the release date is closer, the film receives thunderous applause and unanimous praise from critics. At this, fans rejoiced and expressed impatience to watch the film.

October 5th.

People left the theaters amazed, shocked and genuinely moved by the inhuman treatment Arthur received in the film. The fear media tried so desperately to infuse in us with all the incel bullshit and such turned out to awake one of the most positive, best feelings in humans:

E M P A T H Y

The word that so gloriously cleared away any dark thoughts or actions not only proves media was wrong but it turned out to ridicule it in way nobody will forget: Hundreds of people advocating for mental illness, calling out to the kindness that could change a person's bad day and questioning how politicians and rich people are indifferent to social problems proved how much as a society we have changed in comparison with the one shown in the film.

However, since we are on Tumblr, I'll get straight to the point and try to explain why the fuck does this clown has us dying out of love and compassion (and lust).

I. Background.

As nurturing as we women are for a biological matter, we see a man deprived of a good job, is on seven different medications, working like a slave to sustain his ill mother, putting aside his own health and well-being to look for her, struggling to make his dream of being a comedian despite everyone stepping on him, underpaid and treated like a freak for a disorder he did not ask to suffer, which makes it impossible to be indifferent to all the horrible ordeal that eventually will reach the limit of what he can tolerate without going insane. It is impossible to not say or think, at least, that someone (even if it's just one person) should stand for him just as it is impossible not to feel the need to throw ourselves at him to shield him from people who hurt him or simply offer him our shoulder whenever he has had a bad day, specially when he learns he was sexually assaulted by his step father.

This horrid behaviour terrifies newer generations because they get a taste of what being a social outcast was like more than thirty years ago in comparison with today, where there's more acceptance and treatment for mentally ill people like Arthur. We see in him someone who could have been saved with a proper education and emotional support instead of descending into madness as a criminal. Others simply saw themselves being treated like him at some point in their lives and couldn't help but put themselves in his shoes.

II. Personality.

TRUTH BE TOLD:

There's something called "attraction by proximity". It is the explanation to the eventual love you feel whenever someone doesn't catch your eye at first terms of physical attraction but his/her personality does attract you. This happens to be the base of this situation. His shyness, introverted nature, tenderness and innocent desire to make people laugh and put on a happy face awake some kind of tenderness we cannot resist. This combined with the gloomy background increases our understanding (but not justifying) of the bad decisions he'll eventually take during the course of the film. This traces a line of harsh, almost hurtful contrast of the violence he shows later on the film. Once again, it is not justified in any way but it is certainly understandable.

III. Appearance.

Arthur Fleck is unconventionally attractive.

This happens to be a plus for most women. He is out of the male beauty standards (no abs, not too muscly or particularly tall), which makes him even more unique. It is precisely the fact that he's not a model one of the reasons women love him. He could easily be your man next door or your colleague or the guy you always see but never dare to talk for fear to bother him Because it's about proximity. Arthur looks like your common neighbour. He's not meant to be your typical desirable male protagonist at all.

... And yet.

Jesus Christ, he's so fucking hot I can't even---

It's not about how beautiful his green eyes are, his long slender fingers, his hair or his smile only. It's the charm behind it.

Another "magnet point" is the way he dresses. I know he's impoverished and his wardrobe tend to be repetitive but it is so unpretentious, so simple that is hard to not fall for. The modesty of the shirts, ironed trousers reminds us of a mature man deeply withdrawn into himself, love starved and longing to be seen and loved by others, like a war veteran who still fights the most important war: with himself. Is someone who needs to be listened and understood.

AND OF COURSE WHAT'S NOT TO LIKE ABOUT IT?

He's also brought back the old gentleman outfit, white shirts, red/yellow vest, red suit and elegant dancing moves and the retro style of the film boosts this attractiveness.

People keep comparing him with the previous interpretation of Joker (Leto's) whose costume appealed to young women with a tattooed, gangster, mumble rapper crazy-guy wannabe which didn't connect with the audiences (young people in general). This supposedly was to match or even have a sexy, tormented and desirable villain like Marvel's Loki. We all know how that story ended but it's the link for the next point below.

IV. Transformation

This is a particularly strong point considering how much we loved to watch the process of this weak, powerless, forgotten caterpillar into a beautiful and visible butterfly that will gracefully stir its wings for everyone to see its colours.

When Arthur transitions to the Joker, it's so cathartic to see taking revenge on those who wronged him (even when we're not supposed to root for him) like seeing his shyness fading away into a vivid confidence when dancing half naked in the bathroom, or witnessing him making way to make his name known to people in Murray Franklin's Show:

Adding to this newly gained confidence, there's another turn on: the way he walks.

At the beginning, his pace is hunched and limping, displaying his submission to violence, which makes the viewer more satisfied to see his broken yet beautiful soul turning the past pain of his existence into art: he lets music guide his moves as a way to tell the world he's a new man by cutting most of the sick, evil roots that harmed him, that he's invincible, that no one can stop him. Watching this cathartic display of euphoria was the most iconic scene in the film, following his speech at the TV and the inevitable meltdown that caused Murray's death.

Going to further appreciation, even his clown make up is beautiful. Why? Simple. The combination of colours, shapes and the intimidating glare just embellishes even more the character.

The dark blue triangles in his expressive eyes makes the light green colour to highlight, specially in dark backgrounds, giving the impression he's piercing your soul whenever he stares directly at the camera. Same can be said about the red smile and emerald green hair. They boost an already intimidating look.

The cold and warm colours paint a picture of a man full of intense emotions, mirroring it in a simple yet masterful artistic way.

Another interesting point is the way Joker dresses. Usually we had almost every single live adaption of this character in purple coat, hat, etc. But this particular version is not following any comic, which gives more freedom to creativity and once again, out of the standards of what we could have expected.

Red is a colour related to passion, action, love, strength, motivation and excitement. As for yellow, it indicates freshness, happiness and enlightenment and finally, green. Green is renewal, growth and regeneration. Colours that represent a new stage in his life, a mirthful chapter at last. We finally get to see our battered, always humiliated protagonist (or hero) descending into madness, but finally free from his repressed man who held his soul captive like a bird to fly away, to never come back. An insanity that despite being his downfall, turned out to be his ticket to freedom as he walks to the light in Arkham Asylum dancing at the end.

Ladies and gentlemen: behold the film nobody asked... But the film we fucking deserved.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

❤️💚💛

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

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any recs for old!Johnlock? (Preferably not retired) Thanks!

Hi Nonny!

Ohhh, hmm. You know, I have absolutely READ older-couple Johnlock fics, but the only ones I’m remembering are when they’re retired or “not together but have got together when they old and dying” LOL.

I did a list last year for Retirementlock fics, and I do have new stuff but not a lot, so is it okay if I do “Retirement and Older Johnlock” fics for you? I hope so!! I tag them retirement if it’s retirement, so you can skip those ones

Feel free, my friends, to add your own!!

RETIREMENT and OLDER JOHNLOCK (Jan 2020)

Our Bodies Bend Light by lovetincture (G, 1,211 w., 1 Ch. || Established Relationship, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Beekeeping, Retirement) – They got married. Of course they got married. Snapshots in a relationship. There’s a jar of bees in the bookstore and a cottage in Sussex. Sherlock’s not the marrying kind, and John’s tried this once before, but they’re Sherlock and John. Of course.

Fine Print by mistyzeo (E, 4,224 w., 1 Ch. || ACD Holmes || Est. Rel, Retirementlock, Glasses, Oral, Hand Jobs, Bees) – Holmes needs glasses, but he’s too much of a stubborn arse to go get his eyes checked. Watson is used to bullying him for his own good. The glasses have unexpected but not unwelcome consequences for everyone.

a very soft epilogue (my love) by darcylindbergh (E, 5,395 w., 3 Ch. || Retirement, Domestic Fluff, Dancing, Dogs, Grumpy Old Men) – Across the pillows, Sherlock shifts and hums, the creases of his face deepening and then smoothing before settling. John watches him wake up, his chest swelling with affection and fondness, and thinks he’ll never get tired of Sherlock in the mornings, sleepy and soft. It’s been some forty-odd years, and John hasn’t gotten tired of it yet. Part 5 of things fairy tales are made of

Second Waltz by Atiki (T, 6,685 w. 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, Missed Chances, Retirement, Sussex, Bees, MCD, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Cancer) – “The night I died, you wished I could wait for you.”

Abatement by WhimsicalEthnographies (E, 6,816 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Retirementlock, Fluff, Sherlock’s Self Esteem, Grumpy Sherlock, Idiots in Love, PWP, Fluff and Smut, Bottomlock) – “What’s wrong with you? You love the cottage,” John glances over to the passenger seat, then quickly turns his eyes back to the road. Driving was still not his forte, but considering Sherlock still couldn’t properly bend and lift his new knee enough to press and release the clutch, he had to make do. Not that Sherlock hadn’t tried to argue his way into the driver’s seat. “I love the cottage for a week or two, John. Don’t be deliberately obstuse,” Sherlock grumbles, sinking further in his seat. Well, as best he can with a four-week-old knee replacement. “And that’s all we’re going for, love,” John says out loud. But what he’s thinking is, shit. He knows.

A Lifetime Together by LondonGypsy (M, 8,886 w., 1 Ch. || Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Falling in Love, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn, Pining Idiots, Alternating POVs, Domestics, Retirement) – John and Sherlock falling in love.

Five Times Sherlock Realized He Was Getting Older by Mildred Graves (T, 9,215 w., 6 Ch. || Five and Ones, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Getting Old) – … And one time it didn’t matter.

In The End by whitchry9 (K+, 9,677 w. || Memento Fusion || Amnesia, Growing Old, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Heavy Angst) – When a brain injury leaves Sherlock unable to make new memories, John wonders how Sherlock will cope, and what it will mean for The Work and their life. Because after all, how can you live if you can’t feel time passing?

Through the Clouds by Mazarin221b (E, 20,004 w., 6 Ch. || Retirement, Sussex, Bees, Home Improvement, First Time, Romance) – Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing. They might go completely insane, but sometimes it takes stepping outside of the life you’re living to find the life you want. Part 1 of Through The Clouds

echoes through time by chellefic (E, 21,619 w. || First Time, Romance, ACD & BBC, Epistolary) – Mummy sends a trunk from the Holmes cottage in Sussex to 221B. Its contents alter the way John and Sherlock see themselves and one another.

A Shipless Ocean by myswordfishmind (M, 22,135 w., 4 Ch. || Post-TRF, John has a Kid, Angst, Reunion, Falling in Love, Open Ending) – Ten years after the fall Sherlock goes back to London to find that John no longer lives there. Instead, he resides in a seaside town, a widower, and the father of a seven year old son. Now, Sherlock must struggle with the fact that there may no longer be a place for him in this new world.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John’s…

The Winter Garden by Callie4180 (T, 31,213 w., 13 Ch. || Post-S4, Retirement, Christmas, Slow Burn, Grown-Up Rosie, Parenthood, Rosie’s Cat, Angst with Happy Ending, Holidays, Beekeeping, Magical Realism, Sherlock POV, Sherlock’s Violin, Future Fic, Sussex, Honey, Magical Healing Honey, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Scar, First Kiss, Touching, Mycroft is Dying) – As Sherlock nears the end of his career, he’s given the gift of a cottage in Sussex. The honey from the beehives out back is amazing. Almost…magical.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. “You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie’s class and you won’t have to share a room with a stranger?” “Exactly.” Sherlock beamed at him. “Don’t worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us.”

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock’s five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

between each beat are words unsaid by darcylindbergh, hudders-and-hiddles (T, 107,998 w., 215 Ch. || Epistolary, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Angst, Happy Ending) – On their wedding night, John and Sherlock gift each other with the things they each said when the other could not hear, the things they each put down where the other could not see: a collection of writings that illustrate the way their love for one another has grown over the years. Part 1 of between each beat

Unkissed Series by 221b_hound (T to E, 184,100 w. across 45 works || Established Relationship, Ace Sherlock) – Sherlock returned from the dead a year ago. John returned to Baker Street six months ago. They’ve been in a couple since then. or at least, not NOT a couple. For two smart men, they sure can be dumb. Luckily, an art thief tries to drown Sherlock, Sherlock has a fever dream and things are about to change.

Sketchy by serpentynka (E, 184,053 w., 83 Ch. || Post-TRF, Post-Mary, John Whump, Slow Burn Love Story, Case Fic, Art, Porn With Feelings, Switchlock, Travelling, Career Change, Family Secrets, Illness / Health) – What (and who) will be left when nobody cares about your Work? A slow-burn fic with cases, places, mistaken identities, unfair choices, essential changes, violent feels, blatant lies, fearless portraiture, family secrets, high-risk bespoke gifts, durable friendships, bedtime stories, foreign travel and tongues, sickness (and health), and the significance of things which are slow to unfurl – but cannot be ignored. Oh, and…porn. Part 1: Sherlock takes on an obvious case (barely a 4) and meets someone who will force him to re-examine what it means to see. Part 1 of Sketchy

MARKED FOR LATER

The Last of the Honey Bees by what_alchemy (T, 2,000 w., 1 Ch. || Apocalypse, Retirement) – “When we’re all space dust… when all of this is gone? My molecules will find yours.”

A One-Track Life by JennLynn77 (E, 13,526 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4/TFP, Parentlock, Est. Rel., Medical Procedures, Anal, Cuddling/Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Surgery, Physical Therapy, Retirement, Sherlock Whump, Caring John, Bottomlock, Endearments, Drug Addiction, Triggers) – A medical situation threatens to derail the plans Sherlock had for his life with John and Rosie.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all. (Ch. 7 is the Retirement Fic)

FictoberLock 2018 by FinAmour & unicornpoe (M, 60,875 w., 31 Ch. || Halloween, Protective John, Smitten Sherlock, Fluff, First Kiss, Injured Sherlock, Various Prompts) – 31 different prompts, 31 Johnlock fics: one every day for the month of October! Each chapter is a stand-alone story. Some are written by unicornpoe, some by FinAmour, and some are written by us both! They range in length from ~500 words to ~3500 words, and there’s something in here for everyone. (Ch. 23 is the Retirement Chapter)

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #retirement #older johnlock #retirementlock #Anonymous #fic rec sunday #my fic recs

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flirting-with-psychology · 3 years

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Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes

Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? He was celebrating thanksgiving with his parents during my birthday but he called me

What’s the first word of the last text message you received? I

Do you think you’ve changed at all over the past year? I’ve gotten more anxiety and gotten fatter

Is there a song that reminds you of your ex? Do you still listen to that song? I Almost Do, Red, and If This Was A Movie (all by taylor swift). Yes I still listen

Did you tag anyone in your last Facebook status? Not in the post I shared, but in my last original post I tagged my boyfriend

How do you behave when you’re drunk? Usually giggly and overexcited

What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate

When was the last time you felt disappointed? What was the reason? Disappointed that the gym won’t let me cancel over the phone and might still charge me for february

Is there someone that can make you smile, even when you feel like crying? Not always

Is there a certain person on your mind right now? Tell me about him/her. My boyfriend

You’re getting ready to go to bed, and the last person you kissed shows up, what do you do? Get into bed with him

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Being annoyed at my dad’s snoring through the walls

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Maybe

Are you okay right now? I haven’t been okay this whole year

What time did you get up today? Like 1:30

When was the last time you saw your mom? The other day

What is the last thing you drank today? Water

Do you dislike/hate anyone? Donald trump and Mitch McConnell

Where is your best friend right now? At home I assume

When will your next kiss be? As soon as we get negative test results

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? No

Does anyone completely understand you? No

Who was the last girl you hugged outside of family? I don’t remember, it’s been a long time

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No

What will you be doing in 3 hours? Probably wasting time

How often do you straighten your hair? Never now, I used to when it was short

What are you currently looking forward to? The costume sale that hopefully I will be able to go to

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day? What are you going to do? Lol probably not

Who did you last hang out with? My dad

Did anyone see your last kiss? No

Could things possibly get any better? I fucking hope so

Do you know who you’ll even kiss next? I assume it will be my boyfriend

Do you ever sleep in jeans? No, that sounds really uncomfortable

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? Stress

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? No

Are you in love lately? Not sure

How often do you see your ex? Rarely

Who was the last person to text you? My boyfriend

Did you like anyone last summer? Yes, my boyfriend

Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yeah

Who was the last person you stayed up with till 2am? My boyfriend

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I enjoy having one

Are you currently in a relationship? Yes

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Most days

Would you be shocked if the person you have feelings for texted you? No

Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? I would like to reconnect with my friend Shaina

What are you planning on doing after this? Idk

Is there a girl you would do anything for? No

Who IMed you on facebook last? My mom

How old are you? 26

Do you love dogs? Yes

Were you finished childhood and teens when Harry Potter movies came out? No, they started coming out when I was in elementary school

Did you keep all your VHS tapes? Probably

Do you think Jack Nicholson is a good actor? Yeah I think so

Have you ever watched an episode of “The Honeymooners”? No

Have you ever owned a pair of high-top Converse? No

Do you have rain boots with a cute pattern on them? I have cowboy rainboots

Would you rather eat an apple or an orange right now? Apple

Would you rather do a cartwheel on land or a backflip in water? If I could do either of them, a backflip in water would be cool

Have you ever performed on stage in front of people? Yes

Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Not scared, just didn’t have anything in common with them

What size is your mattress?(single,twin,double,queen,king) Full size

Do you eat foods from all 4 food groups everyday? Lol no

Do you sleep in PJs? Yes

Do you prefer watching TV or listening to music? Watching TV. Listening for music needs to be accompanied by another activity

Would you rather watch a movie in theatre or at home? Theater is fun, but right now at home

Do you prefer brown or white rice? White

Do you like spaghetti? I love spaghetti

What about lasagna? No, I don’t like red sauce

Do you celebrate Christmas? No

Is your Thanksgiving celebrated in October too? Who does that?

Do you like chocolate bars? Yes

what about ice cream? Mostly, although sometimes the plain flavors are boring

Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Wasps a few times

Do you get tired easily? Only in the morning

Or do you always have plenty of energy to spare? No

Have you ever done volunteer work? Where? I volunteered as a teaching assistant What about court-ordered community service? No

Have you ever worn contacts?(even just to try them out) I tried but it made my vision all swimmy

Would you wear contacts on a daily basis? Maybe if I got some that worked

Are your ears pierced? How many times? One on each ear

Do you have GOD-GIVEN(not dyed) natural brown hair too? I have natural brown hair but I don’t believe it’s god-given

Or were you born blonde? No

Have you found a gray hair on your head or body before? I don’t think so. Both of my parents kept their hair color for awhile so hopefully I got that gene

Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? Yes, on my arm

Have you ever been screened for STDs? Yes

Are all your wisdom teeth pulled? Yes

Did you have your tonsils taken out? No

Did you have your appendix taken out? No

How many kidneys do you have?(have you donated one?) I have both of them

Would you(to save someone)?^^^ I'm not sure. If it was someone I loved and there wasn’t one already on hand, maybe

Have you ever found a bug or slug in your salad? ewww no

Do you like Harry Potter? Yes

What about Twilight? It was ok, I liked it at the time I read it How do you feel about Lord of the rings? I like the movies

Are you going to see ‘The Hobbit’ when it comes out? I did

Do you have a glass that says 'Molson Canadian’ on it? No

Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? I have a bunch of shotglasses from places I visit

Would you rather have a white fridge or a black fridge or a stainless steel fridge? Stainless steel

What size shoe do you wear? 7.5-8 womens

Do you have a wide foot or a narrow foot or just average? Kind of dorito-shaped, so some shoe types just don’t fit

Do you bite your nails when you’re stressed? No

Do you have to take an allergy pill daily in order to live normally? No

Are you on the birth control pill? No

Or are you trying to get pregnant? I’m trying not to get pregnant, but I use condoms instead

You’d rather wear black sneakers or sneakers in a bright color or pattern? Probably bright color

Has anyone ever told you they were attracted to you? Yes

Can you swim well in water way above your head? Decently

Are you afraid of thunder & lightening? No

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No

What about a tornado? No

Are you closer to your dad?(more so than your mom) I’m probably a little closer to my mom

Were you your parents’ first born? Yes

Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No

Did you trade stickers at recess when you were a kid? No

How old were you when you had your first crush? Do you remember their name? I was like 5 the first time I put a word to it and his name was Aidan, but I probably had sort-of crushes even before that

Can you even remember what the hell they looked like? Blond, bowl-cut at the time. He actually grew up to be really hot so I guess I knew how to pick em

Have you ever operated any type of motorized vehicle before? A car

Are you going to drink alcohol tonight? Maybe

Have you ever heard of the Canadian kids show called “Mr. Dressup”? No

What about the kids show “Fred Penner’s Place”? No

Did you hate Sesame Street when you were little too? A little

Were you born perfectly healthy or with some(or a lot) of health issues? I might have had some minor things

Do you collect DVDs? Not as a collection, but I buy movies I like a lot

Do you download music? Yes

Or do you still go to stores and buy CDs? No, those are like twice as much

Did you skip(jumo-rope) a lot as a kid? No, I was bad at it

Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Only roly polies

Didn’t you just LOVE art class in elementary school?! Yeah

Have you ever played dodgeball? Yes but not well

What about Red Rover? No

Have you ever played “What time is it mr. wolf?”? It sounds familiar but I don’t remember it

Do you hate your weight? Yes

Have you ever struggled with a mental illness? A little

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Peanut butter for a sandwich, nutella for eating straight out of the jar

Have you ever stepped on a snail? No

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed

Do you prefer ankle socks over regular socks? Ankle socks

Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? I can’t remember

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I don’t have one

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? Both

Would you ever go backpacking across any country? Probably not

Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend

Do you like breadsticks? Yes

Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? No, but I do wear short sleeves year round

What state were you born in? Colorado

Have you ever had a nose bleed? All the time

How far away do you live from your birthplace? Like 15 minutes

Do you have a weak stomach? No

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? Yes

Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? Slightly but not really

Do you *really* like donuts? Yes

Do you think Disney World could ever get old? At some point

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted? Yes

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Jewelry and nerd stuff

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? I am talking to him right now

What do you usually order on a pizza? No sauce, cheese, garlic, pinapple Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? Not really

Who’s the first person with the letter “m” in your contacts? Mac

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Kitten

How old will you be on your next birthday? 27 yikes

What color are your underwear? Turquoise

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? If it’s messy

#survey

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justauthoring · 5 years

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No Reason To (19/50)

Prompt: “And I guess… when it comes down to it, I trust you.”

It has come to my attention that by adding links to my posts, it stops that post from being seen in the tags tagged. So, sadly, I will no longer be able to link previous parts of NRT on new chapters. BUT all part can be found easily on my “No Reason To Series MasterList!” found in my bio.

A/N: SURPRISE!! I couldn’t wait for tomorrow, so I decided to just upload today as a little thank you for being patient with me and supportive!!

And we’re BACK!!! Thank you for being patient with me last week and allowing me to have a week off! I can’t promise it won’t ever happen again, but it’s nice to know that you all are supportive and patient enough to let me catch up on some much needed rest!

AND WE ARE FINALLY ON 3B~!! MEANING... VOID STILES!!

Yes, I am very excited for Void Stiles, lol. I have a lot planned and I just can’t wait to get started. Plus, this is the half of the season where Y/N and Stiles are really gonna grow close and discover their feelings for one another. So, look forward to that ;)

Send me a little comment in the ask section or leave it below on what you thought of this chapter. As usual, I hope you all enjoyed!

AGAIN, remember if you’d like me to continue this series, just leave a little comment or an ask letting me know. I will NOT continue the series if no one wants me to.

Please don’t plagiarize my work - I spend a lot of my time writing, copying and pasting destroys that. If you want to repost my work. please ask first - but even then I might say no.

Pairing: Stiles x McCall!Reader

Based off of: Teen Wolf 03x13 and 03x14

“Witches are human beings who are endowed with the magical arts of sorcery, but those who view it as a religion are Wiccans. Witchcraft, in historical, anthropological, religious and mythological contexts, is the alleged use of supernatural or magical powers. Historically, it was believed in early modern Christian Europe that witches were in league with the Devil and used their powers to harm people and property. Particularly since the mid-20th century, "bad" and "good" witchcraft are sometimes distinguished, the latter often with healing.”

Biting on your bottom lip, you let the tip of your finger hover across the words you whisper aloud. Every word you reach, you take to heart. It’s about time you learned more about what you were and how you could use your powers to advantage. Not to mention, you needed to learn how to use your powers better, so you had full control over them.

Given the life you lead, there was no telling what was going to come next and you needed to prepared for anything that came your way.

Jennifer had told you that there was so little you knew about your powers, and you were determined to find out more.

Flipping through a couple of pages, your attention is caught by a particular picture. It’s the picture of hand, resting upon another, and within the drawing, red mist almost seems to be floating around. As you lower your eyes, you begin to read the small passage underneath.

“Witches have the power to feel the emotions of those they have a emotional tether to. When a witch has bonded with another, supernatural or not, emotionally, physically or mentally, they can gather enough power to feel the emotions of that said person. It only works with some though, and a lot of the time, it is because of a deeper understand-”

You’re interrupted by the sound of your door opening. Lips parting, your head snaps upwards, groaning internally when you meet the eyes of your father. Almost instantly, you shut the book you’d been reading, hiding it within viewing of your father as you push yourself off your bed and onto your feet.

“You know you’re not allowed in my room, dad,” the words roll off your tongue with distaste and you scarcely avoid his gaze as you begin shoving your textbooks and notebooks into your bag. Once they’re all settled, you throw your bag over your shoulder and move to walk out the door, only for your father’s frame to block your way. Huffing, you take a step back, glaring up at him.

“I wanted to know if you’d like me to drive you to school today,” your father offers, a hesitant smile falling on his lips.

Crossing your arms over your chest, you raise your brow up at your father. “You offer Scott?”

“Yes,” Rafe nods, before pausing; “he declined.”

“Well, sorry to say pops, but i’m gonna have to decline as well.” You offer a mock pat on his shoulder before squeezing yourself past him, shutting your door behind you.

You don’t pay any mind to your father as you head down the hallway, ignoring his burning gaze on your back.

As you turn to head down the steps, a sudden thud echoes, pulling your attention in the direction of your brother’s room. You end up arriving there just as Melissa does, and coming to a stop beside her, your eyes widen at the sight of Isaac on the floor, your mothers painting on the ground next to him.

“Hey!” Melissa calls, pulling Isaac’s eyes on the two of you. “You two supernatural teenage boys. Don’t test my entirely un-supernatural level of patience.” She signals Isaac to pick up the painting with her hands before turning, along with you, back down the hallway.

“Must’ve been about Allison,” you comment after a moment, shrugging your shoulders as you and Melissa head down the stairs. It’s the only thing that made sense. And it wasn’t like you were unaware of what was happening between your friend and ex-boyfriend. It might not bother you all that much, but you knew Scott still held some feelings for Allison, despite everything. “I’m pretty sure Isaac and her are dating, or, they really like each other.”

“And you’re okay with that?” Melissa questions, pulling your eyes on her as she raises a suspicious brow. “Your ex dating one of your best friends?”

Shrugging your shoulders once again, you nod; “Isaac and I agreed that we were better as friends. Besides, he can date whoever he wants to.” Though the words slipped past your lips with ease, you couldn’t help the bit of discomfort that flooded you. You were happy for Allison and Isaac, truly, and you held no ill feelings towards them.

But you’d be lying if you said it didn’t make you a little uncomfortable... and slightly jealous. Part of you still cared for Isaac, maybe even loved him, even if he’d been right that day when saying your heart belonged to another. It did, but that didn’t mean the moments you shared with Isaac no longer mattered to you.

Seeing him share those moments with another, well, you can’t help but feel a little jealous.

“Well, well, look who’s no longer the crazy one.”

Rolling your eyes at Lydia’s words, you fall in step with her and the rest, glancing back at Allison over your shoulder as she speaks up. “We are not crazy,” she denies, which therefore causes Lydia to pause, spinning around to face the four of you, though it’s clear her words are directed towards Scott, Stiles and Allison. So, everyone but you.

“Hallucinating? Sleep paralysis?” She questions, “yeah, you guys are fine.”

After a moment of silence, Scott speaks up; “well, we did die and come back to life,” he reminds, and his words cause a frown to fall on your lips. What him, Stiles and Allison had done was to save your parents, sure, but it was also to save you. Scott had literally died to find out where you were, and part of you feels responsible for the things that was happening to them now. “That’s gotta have some side effects, right?”

The second Scott finishes speaking, the school bell rings.

“We keep an eye on each other, alright?” Stiles speaks up, nodding his head slightly. As his eyes fall on you, you nod up at him, sending him a reassuring smile as you step forward with him, heading to class. The other three hang back a moment, you and Stiles shoulder to shoulder as you walk down the hallway.

Though, just before the two of you walk off, Stiles mumbles to Lydia; “and Lydia, stop enjoying this so much.”

“What?”

“Morning everyone.”

Flickering your gaze upwards, you set your attention on the new face of a teacher stood before you, sitting up slightly in your seat.

“My name is Mr. Yukimura,” he continues, walking around his desk to stand before the rows of desks. “I’ll be taking over for your previous History Teacher. My family and I moved here three weeks ago. I’m sure, by now, you all know my daughter, Kira. Or you might not since she’s never actually mentioned anyone from school. Or brought a friend home for that matter.”

A loud sigh, followed by a thud, echoes in response to Mr. Yukimura’s speech. Your, along with almost everyone else in that classroom, attention is turned behind yourself, towards the left back corner of the room where you find a girl with long black hair with her head in her arms.

“Either way, there she is.”

As all eyes fall on her, she hesitantly raises her head, offering a short wave in response. Your lips curve into a soft smile in response, your first thought being how kind the girl looked. Though, you notice how her eyes seem to fall stuck on a figure before her, and as your own eyes follow her line of direction, a smirk falls on your lips when you realize it’s Scott.

And if your brother’s facial reaction is anything to go by, you’d say he’s just as star-struck.

“Now, let’s begin with American History at the turn of the 20th century.”

Pulling out your notebook, you flip it open to an empty page, taking out a pencil and copying out the notes Mr. Yukimura begins to jot down across the chalkboard.

Though, your attention is stolen when you feel an unsettled feeling flood your entire being. It causes you to freeze, and the first thought that pops into your mind is Scott.

Turning your head around your shoulder, your eyes fall on Scott who’s staring down at the ground as if the floor is about to jump out and attack him. Briefly glancing back at the front of the class, you lean forward, lowering your voice to a whisper; “hey, Scott,” you call, pulling his eyes on you. He blinks a few times, as if settling on the sight of you. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he replies, voice hoarse. “Yeah, fine.”

You nod, reluctantly, turning back to the front, but the both of you know he’s not.

“I’ll catch up with you guys in a second.”

Stiles and Scott nod your way, turning to the right as you halt by the classroom door. You turn your head over your shoulder, watching as Kira finishes packing up her things before swinging her bag over her shoulder. She waves to her dad along the way, who in response holds up a finger, telling her to wait a moment.

You take that as your chance.

“Hey, Kira?”

She blinks at the sound of your voice, her head turning to the left with wide eyes. When her own settle on yours, you smile brightly, offering her a wave in a signal to come forward. She does so, and you meet her in the middle, tucking a strand of loose hair behind your ear. She seemed a little nervous, and in all truth, you were as well, but you pushed it down, grinning brightly in attempt to reassure her. “So, I couldn’t help but over hear what your dad was saying...”

Kira’s cheeks burn at your words, and she lowers her gaze, sighing. “Yeah, i’m sorry about that-”

“No, no,” you shake your head, smiling at her. “I just wanted to ask if you’d like to hang some time? It could be just me or you, or I could introduce you to my friends? I imagine it can be hard being the new girl, so I just want to make sure you feel welcomed.”

The burn in her cheek quickly disappears as your words register within her. A small smile fall on Kira’s lips, she stares up at you in almost awe; “i’d love to!” She exclaims, before seemingly catching herself, “um, yeah, that’s so nice of you... Thank you.”

Nodding your head, you rip off a piece of paper from your notebook, quickly jotting down your number. “Of course,” you comply, “here’s my number. I’ll text you some time soon, okay? We can meet up?”

Taking the piece of paper out of your hands, Kira nods, biting her lip; “sounds great. Thank you once again.”

“No need to thank me,” you assure with a shrug of your shoulders. Then, taking a step back, you glance down the way Scott and Stiles had gone, catching sight of the two watching and waiting for you. Shaking your head, you turn back to Kira; “I got meet up with my brother, but i’ll talk to you soon, okay?”

Kira nods again; “okay.”

“Maybe we need a little more time to get back to normal.”

“Yeah, try not to forget we hit the reset button on a supernatural beacon for supernatural creatures. There’s a pretty good chance things are never going back to normal.”

Letting out a sigh at Stiles words, you cross your arms over your chest, leaning against the locker to Stiles’s right as you stare up at the ceiling. As much as you hate to admit it, Stiles is right -- what they did to save you and your parents, it isn’t just going to go away with a snap of your fingers. You wish it could, but, you knew it wouldn’t. Not realistically.

“I hate to admit it,” you speak up, letting your head lull to the left as you meet your brother’s gaze, past Stiles. “But he’s right.”

With a sigh of his own, Scott nods as his shoulders fall; “yeah.”

As silence falls over the three of you, your attention is stolen by Stiles who, abnormally, tugs the lock connected to his locker repeatedly. His attention is solely focused on the lock, so he doesn’t notice your gaze as he continues to shake it, before halting, blinking, almost in confusion.

“What?” Stiles mumbles to himself, causing your brows to furrow in bafflement.

“Hey,” you call, softly, noticing your brother distracted as you meet Stiles’ eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Stiles only shake his head, lips parting; “I can’t...”

Then, he blinks once more, and it’s like everything seems to suddenly makes sense to him. He lets out a sigh of relief, tensed shoulders slumping as his eyes remained trained on his lock.

Setting your hand on his shoulder, you pull Stiles’ gaze on you; “you okay?”

“Yeah,” he nods, turning his head as his eyes flicker over to your brother. “Yeah, i’m--oh, dude, your eyes.”

Glancing up, you see what’s caught Stiles attention, your eyes widening themselves when you see the red glow of Scott’s eyes. His alpha eyes. Instantly, your body tenses as you shuffle forward, behind Stiles, shaking your head.

“Scott!”

Brows furrowed, Scott mumbles; “what about them?”

As you glance over your shoulder, looking for anyone that might’ve seen Scott’s eyes, Stiles speaks up; “they’re starting to glow,” he explains, voice pitched with panic.

“You mean like right now?”

“Yes,” you urge, shaking your head. “Right now.”

“Scott,” Stiles calls, doing his best to keep his voice quiet; “stop. Scott, stop it.”

Scott lowers his head, his hand raising to cover his eyes as his breath starts to quicken. “I can’t,” he breathes, voice hushed. “I can’t stop. I can’t control it.”

Meeting Stiles’ eyes, there’s a moment of stilled panic as the two of you try to figure out what the hell to do. Then, you glance behind yourself, Stiles seemingly catching onto what you’re suggesting and he turns back to your brother, pressing a hand against the back of his head to keep his head lowered. “Okay,” Stiles whispers, following your lead as he shuffles backwards. “Okay, just keep your head down.”

“Here,” you call, gesturing to an empty classroom you’d found. Somewhere along the way, you come upon the realization that your guys attempt to not make a scene has only made a bigger scene, so, grabbing the door knob, you practically yank it open, antsy on your feet as you urge Scott and Stiles to hurry up. “In here, in here!”

You slam the door shut behind them, instantly turning around to your brother as he stumbles into room, yanking off his flannel hastily as ragged breaths escape his lips.

Stiles falls in line next to you, and the both of you step forward, intent on helping Scott before he turns around, holding up his hand. “No, get back, get back,” he bellows, his voice raspy. “Get back away from me.”

“Scott,” Stiles calls, “it’s okay.”

“We just want to help,” you add, taking a small step forward.

You don’t make it very far before Scott spins to face you once again, and his frightened eyes meet your own. “I don’t know what’s going to happen,” he cries, practically pleading with the both of you. “Get back.”

You listen, against your better judgement, standing there, at a lost on what to do.

Scott finally stops stumbling forward, turning to face you and Stiles as he slowly raises his hands. Your eyes widen when you notice him clenching his fists, his elongated nails digging into the palm of his hands. The moment you notice blood pouring out, your own hands raise, covering your mouth in disbelief. You feel the slight tingle in your own palms, before it grows progressively worse, causing you to hiss out in pain.

“Jesus... fuck!” You hiss, just as Scott falls to his knees, his clenched fists easing.

“Y/N, are you okay?’

Blinking, you meet Stiles’ gaze, only then realizing how your own position had changed as you cradled your hands against yourself. Nodding quickly, you dismiss Scott’s concern; “it’s just this... thing we have. I’m fine.”

Your attention, along with Stiles’, falls back on Scott as he slumps against one of the desks. Taking hesitant steps forward, you and Stiles crouch before him, and your wide eyes fall on the blood coating Scott’s hands, forgetting about the tingle in your own hands as Scott pants breathlessly before you.

“Pain makes you human,” he explains, chest rising and falling as his eyes fall on you. “I’m sorry.”

Looking down at your hands, you shake your head; “it’s fine, Scott-”

“Scott,” Stiles cuts in, “this isn’t just in our heads. This is real. And it’s starting to get bad for me too.” Your face falls at Stiles’s words, curling into yourself. “I’m not just having nightmares. I’m having dreams where I have to literally scream myself awake. And sometimes i’m not even sure if i’m actually ever waking up.”

“What do you mean?” You ask softly, causing Stiles to turn his gaze on you.

“Do you know how you can tell if you’re dreaming? You can’t read in dreams. More and more, in the past few days, i’ve been having trouble dreaming. It’s like I can’t see the words. I can’t put the letters in order.”

“Like even now?”

Stiles stands up, slowly, his legs shaky underneath him. Your eyes follow his movements as he glances around the room, his eyes falling on the posters and boards located in the classroom. Then, with a shaky breath, Stiles shakes his head.

“I can’t read a thing.”

Sibling. If that was true then...

Inhaling sharply, you steal your nerves as you raise your hand, knocking lightly on Scott’s door. As you wait for a reply, you glance back down the hallway, the way you came, making sure no one’s coming. Not Isaac, Melissa or Rafael. You need to talk to Scott, alone.

Because right now, he’s the only you trust not to laugh in your face or think you’re crazy. And, you’re almost a hundred percent sure this’ll work with him.

“Come in!”

Placing your hand flat against Scott’s bedroom door, you lightly push it open, peeking your head in. You find Scott at his desk, spinning slightly in his chair to face you. His face lightens up at the sight of you. “Y/N,” he greets, pushing himself up to his feet. “What’s up?”

You offer a short smile, stepping into his room before quietly shutting the door behind yourself. Scott watches your movements in confusion, raising a brow when you turn back to look up at him. Once again, you steal away your nerves, clasping your hands before yourself as you rock on your feet slightly. “I need you to do something for me.”

Scott, not oblivious to how nervous you seem, instantly nods. “Anything.”

Taking a step towards Scott, you inhale sharply. “This is going to sound crazy,” you warn, finally meeting his eyes. “But, you know how when you touch someone, you can take their pain away? Like, just by grabbing onto to them, and making contact, suddenly you’re able to have this sort of connection with them?” Scott nods. “Well, I think I might be able to do something like that. But it only works with certain people.”

“Okay...” Scott says slowly.

“Give me your hand.” After only a moment of silence, Scott obliges, holding out his hand towards you. You stare down at it, taking a deep breath before slowly raising your hand and setting it into his own. Instantly, you gasp, your body flinching in response as your eyes fall shut.

For a moment, Scott seems to drift to the back of your mind as you become overwhelmed by a flood of emotions.

Then, what feels like a second later, but must’ve been longer, your eyes snap open, and you heave heavily, stumbling forward. Scott catches you, staring down at you in concern as he holds you upright, helping you stay steady. Your breath had quickened, your chest rising and falling, and your skin feels clammy.

It was exactly like that night in the motel. With Isaac.

“It worked,” you breathe, voice barely above a whisper.

Shaking his head, Scott pulls your eyes on his own. “What worked? Y/N, it looked like you blacked out. I-”

“You’re worried. And scared. Scared of what’s happening to you, Stiles and Allison. You’re worried about dad being back, and you’re worried about me and mom. And there’s a tiny part of you that’s jealous of Isaac and Allison, but that girl... Kira! She overrides some of that jealousy. She hasn’t left your thoughts all day.”

Scott doesn’t say anything at first. At first, there’s just silence as he blinks up at you.

Then, letting out a shaky breath, Scott shakes his head; “how do you know all of that?”

“I read in this... book, that witches can feel the emotions of others. Of people they’re strongly connected to,” you explain in a haste, your lips working a bit faster then your mind is. “It worked with Isaac, back at that motel. At the time, I didn’t know what it was... but I touched his shoulder, and I felt this overwhelming flood of pain and agony... Scott, everything you’re feeling, I felt.”

“Like our pain?”

“Yes,” you nod, “but different. This wasn’t just pain. This was true emotion -- as if I was experiencing it.”

Scott nods, slowly. It’s not that he doesn’t believe you, because he does. It’s just a lot to take in.

“So, because we’re siblings--”

“It worked,” you finished, nodding.

Scott nods once more, at a lost on what to say.

“I’ve got to go read up some more,” you say in a haste, taking a step back from Scott with a wide smile plastered on your lips. You don’t really give Scott time to argue or say anything in return before you’re out the door. But, just before you make it very far, you peek your head in once more into his room.

“Oh! And that girl, Kira? She was checking you out too!”

“Okay, so what happens to a person who has a near-death experience and comes out of it seeing things?”

“And is unable to tell what’s real or not?”

“And is being haunted by demonic visions of dead relatives?”

Biting your lip, you let out a sigh as Allison finishes off the list of shitty things that have happened to her, Stiles and Scott. You don’t have a clue on how to answer their question.

“They’re all locked up because they’re insane,” Isaac answers, letting out a huff.

“Ha.” Stiles mocks, letting out a fake laugh as he shakes his head. “Can you at least try to be helpful, please?”

“For half my childhood, I was locked in a freezer.” Isaac begins, turning to Stiles with narrowed eyes. You raise a brow at their argument, leaning onto the bench in your spot next to Stiles. “So, being helpful is king of a new thing for me.”

“Hey, dude, are you still milking that?”

“Yeah, we are still milking that.”

“Okay,” you roll your eyes, setting your hand on Stiles arm as you send a glare Isaac’s way. “Enough. The both of you.” At the look the Isaac gives you, as if he expects you to back him up, you huff; “we are actually trying to figure out how to help them-”

“Hi!” A sudden voice interrupts you, pulling your focus on the right of you on Kira. She smiles down at the six of you nervously, clutching her books against her chest tightly. “Sorry. I couldn’t help overhearing what you guys were talking about.”

Glancing back at your friends, you raise a brow.

“And I think I actually might know what you’re talking about,” Kira continues, pulling your eyes back on her. “There’s a Tibetan word for it. It’s called ‘Bardo’. It literally means ‘in-between state’. The state between life and death.”

“And what do they call you?” Lydia questions, sending Kira a forced smile.

You open your mouth to answer Lydia before: “Kira,” Scott answers for you, his voice soft. You can’t help but smile to yourself slightly as you glance down at your notebook, biting your lip. “She’s in our history class.”

“Here,” you speak up, pushing Stiles slightly to make room for Kira. “Sit,” you send her a bright smile as her eyes fall on you. She hesitates a moment before taking a seat just as Lydia speaks up once again.

“So are you talking Bardo in Tibetan Buddhism or Indian?”

“Either, I guess,” Kira shrugs. “But all the stuff you guys were just saying? All that happens in Bardo. There are different progressive states where you can have hallucinations. Some you see, some you just hear. And you can be visited by peaceful and wrathful deities.”

“Wrathful deities?” Isaac repeats questioningly, “and-and what are those?”

Shaking her head slightly, Kira shrugs; “like demons.”

“Demons,” Stiles repeats, disbelief at his situation flooding him. “Why not?”

“Hold on,” Allison speaks up, “if there are different progressive states, then what’s the last one?”

“Death,” Kira answers, a little too cheery. “You die.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, dad! Who are you helping?”

Brows furrowed, you hastily make your way down the stairs, rubbing at your eyes tiredly. You’d been catching up on some homework, headphones in your ears so you hadn’t heard Scott nor your dad. It took having to go to the washroom for you to finally realize what the hell was going on and almost immediately you made your way for the stairs.

“Just get out!”

As you reach the living room, you notice Melissa making her way inside from the other side, your eyes briefly meeting hers before refocusing on the two males in front of you.

“Scott,” you father calls, voice hesitant, unsure.

“What?” Scott snaps in response, shaking his head. “I can’t believe that you’d do this to my best friend.”

Stiles?

“I’m not doing anything to your friend,” Rafe tries to explain, “i’m doing my job.”

“Your job sucks!”

“Some days I can’t argue that.”

“Can somebody tell me what the hell is going on?” Melissa speaks up, eyes wide.

Taking a step forward, you nod, your eyes trained on Scott. “What’s he doing to Stiles?”

“He’s trying to get Stiles’ dad fired.”

At Scott’s words, your entire body freezes, disbelief flooding you.

“No,” your father argues, turning from you to Melissa in seconds. “That’s not what I’m doing.”

“What are you doing?”

Rafael pauses, then; “conducting a case for impeachment.”

Raising your hand, you rub them against your face, trying to keep your steadily racing heartbeat calm as Scott’s words echo in your head.

“That sounds a lot like getting him fired,” Melissa snaps.

“The lack of resolution and ability to close cases is what’s going to get him fired. My job is just to collect the information.” As Rafe continues to explain, try to defend himself, you’re oblivious to Scott, who’s getting angrier and angrier by the second. Mainly because you’re getting angrier and angrier by the second. “And it’s the job my superiors have given me.”

“Your job sucks,” Melissa repeats, glaring up at your father.

“Scott,” you hear Melissa call, finally causing you to raise your head. It’s then that you notice Scott’s eyes glowing once more and his nails have grown, not to mention that he’s struggling to breathe. “Sweetheart,” Melissa continues, “calm down.” She takes Scott’s hand in her own, leading him away. “Come with me, right now.”

She meets your eyes briefly, and you nod, stepping in front of your father before he can follow after the two of them.

“Y/N-”

You scoff as Rafael attempts to explain himself to you as well, shaking your head as you glare up at him. “I don’t wanna hear it,” you snap, your lip snarling up in disgust up at him. “I don’t care if it’s your job, if your superiors are making you do it, or whatever. I don’t care. This is Stiles’ dad we’re talking about.”

Rafael just remains silent, and you roll your eyes, clenching your fists tightly, in attempt not to punch him.

“You disgust me.”

“Here’s where we found the den. It’s right in the middle of the hiking trails.”

Leaning over Stiles’ shoulders, your eyes fall on the spot he’s pointing at with his finger, lip in-between your teeth in thought.

“Well,” Allison speaks up, pulling your gaze on her as she raises her own to meet yours. “That could narrow it down. Coyotes travel on fixed trails. But I think you’re right about her not going back to the den. Coyotes don’t like wolves. And they’re really smart if they want to be heard, they actually walk on their toes.”

Brows furrowing, you pause as Stiles questions exactly what you’d been thinking. “Coyotes tip-toe?”

“They tip-toe.”

Just as Allison finishes speaking, the bell rings.

“We gotta go,” she continues, shuffling back. “Send me the pinned location.” She pauses though when she realizes you’ve yet to follow her. Pausing right by the door, she turns to you; “Y/N?”

Blinking, you nod over at her, “coming,” you smile softly, leaving Stiles’ side as you quickly make your way over to Allison. Though, your eyes linger on Stiles’ a moment more than usual, his own remaining stuck on you, before you eventually have to turn, falling next to Allison’s side as you walk down the hallway, heading to your next class.

It only takes you a second to realize Allison’s eyes are still on you, and she’s smirking.

“What?” You question, raising a brow her way.

“Nothing,” she shrugs, hugging her textbooks close against her chest, the smirk slowly fading as silence falls over the two of you. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Hmm?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask...”

Slowly, your full focus falls on your friends when you notice her obvious anxiousness. Glancing at her briefly as you both weave your way through the hallway, you patiently wait for her to continue.

Brushing back a strand of loose hair, Allison laughs nervously. “Well, Isaac and I have recently gotten closer and I know that you two used to date, so... I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t overstepping any boundaries. Or making you uncomfortable in anyway.”

Blinking, you pause; “are you asking me for permission to date Isaac?”

“Well... yeah.”

Shaking your head, you smile over at Allison. “You don’t need to ask for permission, Allison,” you assure, letting your hand fall on her arm. “Go for it,”

“You don’t mind?” She questions, almost unsure.

“Not at all,” you nod, “I promise.”

A wide smile falls on Allison’s lips at your words, and a small exclamation of glee leaves her lips as you laugh up at her excitement. “Thank you!” She exclaims, leaning to the side to give you a hug.

You easily return her embrace.

“Of course.”

“What you did was really sweet.”

Scott blinks up at you at your words. Smiling down at him, you take a seat next to him on the bench he’s perched upon, bumping his shoulder lightly with your own. “Saving her like that,” you continue for explanation, smirking slightly. “Girls love that hero crap.”

Scott rolls his eyes at your teasing, scoffing at your words. “It was the least I could do,” Scott shrugs, “she was returning our bags.”

Your eyes fall on the bags Scott gestures to, slowly nodding.

Before you can say anything more, Stiles comes to a stop between the two of you, calling out for your attention. “I think I know what she was looking for,” Stiles explains, holding his back, referring back to Malia. Standing up, along with Scott, your eyes falls the doll Stiles pulls out of his bag.

Scott sighs; “you took the doll from the car?”

“Why would you take a piece of evidence from the crime scene?” You pester Stiles, keeping your voice lowered as you slap him lightly on the shoulder. He winces in response, curling into himself as he pouts at you getting mad at him, causing you to roll your eyes.

“Hey!” Stiles calls out in defense, “I thought Scott could use it, you know, for like her scent.”

“Where did you get that?” You blink at the new voice, turning your head around your shoulder as a man steps forward. You briefly remember Noah introducing him as Malia’s dad. “Where did you find this?” Hastily, he pulls the doll out of Stiles’ hand, causing the three of you to take a step back in precaution as his narrowed eyes glower down at the three of you.

Staring down at the doll, his anger fades into sadness; “it belonged to my daughter.”

Just then, Noah steps forward; “Mr. Tate, I don’t know how you heard about this. If you got your own police scanner or what... But you can’t be here.” Noah steps forward, setting his hand on Mr. Tate’s stomach in attempt to push him back before the two of them freeze. Your brows furrow in bafflement, crossing your arms over your chest as you wait.

Slowly, Noah pulls back Mr. Tate’s jacket, revealing a gun.

“I have a permit,” Mr. Tate quickly explains, holding up his hands on either side of him.

“California schools are gun free zones,” Noah reminds, “permit or no permit. You need to leave, Mr. Tate. Now.”

Noah steps forward, causing Mr. Tate to shuffle back as he calls another policemen forward. Before they can pull Mr. Tate away, he turns back to Noah, his face twisting in desperation. “You find that animal. You find that thing.”

“Anyone else think we might be doing more harm than good?”

Sighing, you briefly glance at Stiles who’s beside you at Lydia’s words, before letting your gaze fall on the forest floor.

“We’re trying to keep a father from killing his own daughter,” Scott eagerly reminds, his voice desperate for you all to understand.

“Actually,” Isaac speaks up, pulling your eyes on him. “We’re trying to keep a guy from killing a coyote who is actually his daughter, who we don’t know how to change from a coyote back to his daughter.”

You let your eyes fall shut at Isaac’s words, shaking your head.

“And again,” Stiles sighs, “with the not helping.”

Scott turns to Allison, “did you bring it?”

Only hesitating a moment, Allison nods, turning towards her trunk and pulling out the tranquilizer gun she’d brought. Holding it ready in her hands, she turns back to the rest of you, nodding her head.

“It took the doll again. What the hell is so important about the doll?”

Sighing, you bite your lip as Stiles spins to face you, phone in hand as he talks to his father. You can’t tell what Noah is saying in response to Stiles, but if the expression on Stiles’ face is anything to go by -- you figure it isn’t good.

Then, realization floods Stiles’ eyes and his chin raises, his focus falling elsewhere other than his father.

“It’s the doll.”

Blinking, you glance up at Stiles’ eyes fall on you, the phone in his hand falling limply at his side. His eyes widen, realization flooding them.

Scott, Isaac, Allison and Lydia have run off, the two of them teaming in pairs, leaving you and Stiles. You would’ve followed after your brother or even Isaac, but seeming like Stiles right now, when there was a coyote on the loose and he had nothing nor no one to defend himself, seemed like the better idea.

It seems, you’d been right.

“It’s the doll?”

“All right, but why would it go all the to the school and then all the way back to the house just a doll?”

Hugging yourself tightly, you pace as Stiles continues to ramble on, shrugging your shoulders helplessly at his question.

“One that was in the car wreck firstly,” Stiles continues, “we didn’t find it in the coyote den.”

“It likes the doll,” you huff, tucking your hair hastily behind your ears. “Who cares?”

“Yeah, it likes the doll. A lot,” Stiles sighs, crouched down before you. Silence echoes, then, a question pops into your mind. “What kind of doll is it?”

“I don’t know,” Stiles shrugs, voice pitched in desperation. “It’s a doll, you know. It’s got little arms, a big baby head and dead, soulless eyes. Actually, I took a pic.” Stepping forward as Stiles to turns to face you, you lean over his shoulder, squinting your eyes to see the photo clearly.

Raising your hand, you point at the young girl in a blue coat; “that’s Malia?”

“Yeah, that’s the jacket and the scarf we found in the den.”

“Stiles,” you call, shaking your head. “She’s not holding the doll.”

“That’s Malia’s younger sister,” Stiles explains, pointing at the younger girl in a red coat. “It’s her doll.” Slowly, Stiles raises his head, turning to meet your eyes. “I know what she’s doing.”

“What?”

“I know where she’s going.”

“Stiles?”

Feeling your entire body freeze, everything Stiles has been saying over the phone to Scott goes in through one ear and out the other as you stare down at the bear trap. The bear trap your foot is directly placed on. You don’t move a muscle, in fear of the clamps shutting around your ankle.

“Yeah-”

Slowly raising your head, your entire body shaking, you meet his eyes from a far.

Instantly, Stiles rushes forward, coming to a stop next to you. You let your eyes fall shut as Stiles calls out; “Y/N, don’t move!” You want to snark back that you weren’t planning on doing so, but you keep your mouth shut, terrified that even speaking will trigger the trap. “Can’t you... use your powers? Hold the clamps down while you move your foot?”

“No,” you breathe, shaking your head. “N-No. If I move, it’ll trigger the trap and I don’t think my reflexes are that fast.” Your voice is shaky as you try to explain yourself to the best of your ability. Forcing your eyes open, you meet Stiles’ eyes who’s lowered to the ground, now crouching before you. “Stiles, look for a warning label.”

“A warning label?” Stiles repeats questioningly.

“Instructions on how to disarm it,” you explain, voice pleading.

“Y/N,” Stiles breathes, “why the hell would they put instructions on the bottom of a trap?”

“Because animals can’t read,” you remind, voice pitching.

Your body tenses as you try to keep as still as possible, impatiently waiting for Stiles to find the warning label you told him about. Then, a moment later, Stiles mumbles, “Y/N, we’ve got a problem.”

“What?”

“I can’t read either.”

You’d forgotten.

Inhaling sharply, you try to your best to remain calm, shaking your head. “You don’t need the instructions,” you dismiss, “when was the last time you’ve ever used instructions? Am I right?” Meeting Stiles’s eyes, you nod your head this time, smiling down at him despite the tears welling in your eyes out of fear. “You don’t need them because you’re too smart to waste your time with them, okay? You can figure it out. Stiles, you’re the one who always figures it out.. So you can do it. Figure it out.”

Listening to your advice, Stiles leans forward, brushing back some leaves. You’re too scared to lean down and see what he’s doing.

“Okay, here we go,” Stiles finally says, “ready?”

Letting out a shaky breath, you finally lower your gaze, letting out a soft whimper as you nod.

“Okay,” Stiles breaths, “here we go.”

He turns the valve, and letting out a tiny cry, you take your foot off the trigger, leaping to your left and falling into Stiles’ arms. His arms wrap tightly around your waist as yours wound around his neck, pulling him close as you let out breath of relief.

Settling the palm of your hand on his chest, you glance back at the trap, your lips parting at the sight of the clamps shut against one another. If it hadn’t been for Stiles, or if you had taken just a moment later, it would’ve been your foot in-between those clamps.

Still breathless, you flicker your gaze over to Stiles’, meeting his eyes through your lashes. You can feel his breath fawn over your face as he returns your gaze, the two of you staring at one another in a mixture of shock, relief and disbelief. Then, before you can stop yourself, you whisper; “you did it.”

The words seem to register in Stiles’ mind, causing him to blink as he shakes his head; “I did it.”

He did it.

“Thank you.”

Part 20? Let me know what you thought!

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plague-of-insomnia · 5 years

Note

🍋 🍌

Thank you for the ask 💕!!

🍋 Your descriptions are transportive

Wow... 😶☺️🥰 Thank you.

🍌I want to pick your brain about your creative process.

This will be a long post, FYI.

Chaos.

Haha, I’m joking.

Or am I?

Honestly, I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, including outlining, and it never works for me bc my characters control the story. I really am just their interpreter, putting their lives and words onto virtual paper.

I’m a “character first” kind of writer (as opposed to a “plot first”), and that means I could probably tell you what any of the main cast of my stories ate for breakfast on the morning of their 8th birthday, but I couldn’t tell you what happens in the end, or sometimes even in the next chapter, bc I don’t know until I “get there.”

I’ve done my best to break my process down into 8 steps.

Step 1: The Idea

When I first get an idea, it usually comes to me in terms of a really vivid scene, like the chapter in Where Demons Hide called “Spark of Madness.” Usually that scene ends up in the beginning of the story but not normally the first chapter. Sometimes it’ll give me some story/plot to help me begin to flesh out the idea more, like in that example, where the main antagonist/conflict is introduced, though normally I have to work at it a bit more.

Step 2: Flesh Things Out

This is where I brainstorm, usually thinking about the main characters, who they are and what their flaws might be and what they might want to help me “find” the story. Sometimes I’ll make a character sheet (normally I don’t if I’m working alone bc I don’t have to). I do normally make a file for notes where I’ll jot down possible ideas about the characters and where the story might go.

I’ll be perfectly honest and say while this process does get me jump started, most of the notes I jot down I don’t end up using bc as the characters and story formulates, they both tend to change from my original ideas.

Step 3: Research

This can often be tied in with #2 and it’s not as if it just stops here. But as I often write about disabilities, mental and chronic illness, I like to make sure I can get as much info about the disease/condition I want to represent as possible so that I can:

represent it appropriately and accurately and

so I can find story/character details along the way.

For example, in my novel UnConventional, I was able to talk with a friend who is not only an orthotic user (and has been for years) but is an engineer of sorts so he understands very well *how* they work. By talking with him about various orthotics and his own struggles with them, I was able to find new plot and character details that help make the story more vivid and real and also allowed me to drive it in directions I may not have been able to otherwise.

Step 4: Write, Write, Write.

Two things you need to know about my writing process:

I usually do better when I write out of order.

I need to visualize the scene in my head to write it effectively. My “writers block” comes from not being able to see things in my head

My method isn’t the most efficient, but it’s how my brain works, and I’ve learned to go with it rather than fight it.

I brainstorm with myself (or a friend or my husband if possible) when necessary, or sometimes I’ll just close my eyes in a quiet place to allow myself to “see” the next series of scenes. Before I can forget the vivid movie I saw in my head, I do what I call a “scene sketch.”

I call it a “sketch,” bc just like a sketch is usually the foundation for a piece of art, mine are the basic structure for a completed scene. I do this also if I have a pretty solid idea but don’t have the time to write or I’m too tired or something like that, bc sketches allow me to simply sit down and flesh them out to create a completed scene.

They’re kind of like what an outline might be for other writers but less organized. Sketches are like a little treatment of a scene, including the basic setting, an idea of POV, and even dialog and body language, but jotted down really quickly without quotes or dialog tags. Sometimes there’ll be things like “maybe this happens” bc once I actually write the scene I’ll know if that idea feels right or not.

Here’s an example from a rejected chapter of WDH (I ended up going in a slightly different direction):

Seb answers when room service knocks. Bard is hovering, maybe bc he heard Seb’s scream. He sees the bad bite on Seb’s bare chest, sees he’s trembling and drowning more than ever, his eyes almost pleading for rescue. But when Bard asks if he’s OK he smiles and says yes, sir. Takes the food from the room service person and says he’s been ordered to wait on the guests personally. Shuts the door in Bard’s face.

Sometimes these sketches can be very detailed, other times it’s more of a general, quick jot of what happens or the scene I want to set. It depends on my brain and the scene.

I like to set goals based on scenes (or sometimes chapters), and do my best to complete a scene in its entirety if possible before I stop. If I can’t bc of time, then I’ll write a really brief sketch so I know what I need to do when I pick back up again so I won’t forget.

I’ve been writing and editing long enough that depending on the project I’m able to self-edit as I write. That doesn’t mean I don’t revise or edit later, but it saves some time overall as I am more aware of certain things than I used to be.

Because I write out of order, my process often entails being a puzzle master and piecing things together. Especially for something like Where Demons Hide, which has a lot of flashbacks, since I write those separately from the main story, I then have to figure out where they “belong.” I’d say 98% of the time for this fic I have already written the flashbacks before the chapter(s) they end up in.

My original serial fiction I write in a similar fashion, where I often will write scenes out of order and then assemble them into chapters later. So sometimes I’ll make a kind of “outline” of plot points that I need to cover. It’s not so much a fixed thing as a memory aid and place for me to put notes of ideas that might come to me that aren’t completely fleshed out.

Step 5: Rest

Once I’ve completed a chapter, I try to let it “rest” for at least a few days, if not longer. Especially if it was a long chapter or something that was difficult to write and took me awhile so I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks at a time.

I do this for three reasons:

“In process” brain lies often and says a scene/chapter sucks and I should just burn my computer/phone and take up accounting instead, and that the pacing is awful and it’s boring and lots of similar untruths.

Especially if the chapter took me a long time to finish because it’s lengthy or complicated or has difficult subject matter or whatever, it means there’s a good chance I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks and I’m SICK TO DEATH of it and never want to see it again, so taking a break from it is a welcome relief. It’s like taking a vacation after you’ve been working overtime for months. Sometimes I’ll do writing-adjacent things during this time, like reading, organizing/typing my notes, jotting down things I need to work on, reading/watching stuff that will energize and inspire me. Other times I work on another project or other scenes/chapters in the same project. Sometimes I’ll just take a break if I’m feeling burnt out or stressed.

I can come back to the project with fresh eyes, so that I can read it and see what things are actually good (suck it, in-process brain) or what things may still need work in a way I couldn’t do so soon after finishing.

Step 6: Revise

I revise in different ways depending on how much I feel something needs fixing. The first revision is my chance to see how the puzzle pieces knit together, work on scenes that I noticed aren’t pulling their weight or that need to be fleshed out. Sometimes this means I will completely, totally rewrite—and by that I mean “retype.” I open a fresh document, and referencing the original, start over. This allows me to streamline and better hone my language and ensure each scene is working hard.

This is something I do if I feel like a scene isn’t working as-is or I have a shit-ton of notes and comments on the first draft and it’s so chaotic I feel like I can’t focus anymore. This is especially helpful for dialog.

Other times the revisions are less drastic. Sometimes I means moving a scene around or deleting one that isn’t working. Sometimes it means finding all the times I’ve repeated the same word and fixing that, or fixing places where I’ve used the same sentence type too often.

Revision can be a very long process, depending on the quality of the first draft and what my goal is. If it’s just fan fic I’m doing for fun, then I don’t obsess too much: usually 1-2 read throughs and adjustments are OK. If it’s something I’m going to submit for publication, then that’s a different story bc the quality of the edit of your submitted draft makes a good impression (or a bad one).

Step 7: Beta Reader

If I have one, which I don’t always, then this is where I’ll send it to them. Usually what I want in a beta reader isn’t stuff like proof or copy editing, but rather “big picture” stuff. I want them to tell me: “this scene isn’t working” or “this feels contrived” or “I don’t like the main character.”

It can be frustrating and disheartening to get feedback that means I have to go back and do some major revising, but that’s why they’re there, bc often it’s either things I couldn’t see bc I’m too close to the story, or stuff I was in denial about (lol). Listening to my betas always leads to a better draft.

Step 8: Proofreading/Copyediting

The last step. I’ve done this professionally so I’m usually pretty good at finding typos and inconsistencies myself, but some people will hire someone like me to do that work bc they don’t have the skill or the time. Even if it’s “just for fun,” proofing is important bc it affects readability, and it’s embarrassing to me if I post something with glaring proof errors 😶.

~~~Anyway, that is roughly how my brain works. I don’t know if this is what you were expecting or wanting, but here it is!

#my answers #my writing process #positive feedback #ask chie

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