#nice gifset though sorry for the negativity

[outrunningthedark]

Okay, 911 fandom. Let’s chat. Again.  One of the people I consider to be part of my online support system, @claire-nyc​ received this ask:

It reads: “eddies said a lot of the same things that ana has to chris, yet no one is caling his interactions with chris ableist, so, what makes it different with ana?”  Oh, nonnie. Nonnie, nonnie, nonnie. I hope you’re ready for a lesson in character growth! Remember the flashback in Eddie Begins when Shannon and Eddie are arguing because Eddie re-enlisted without consulting her? Not only was he running away from his responsibilities because he didn’t know how to deal with Christopher’s disability, he referred to it as an “illness”. Using that term makes it sound like we’ve been infected by a disease, and that’s not very nice, is it?  Then, in the very same scene he claims his motivation for re-enlisting was in large part due to Christopher’s medical/therapy bills. This? Not it. Eddie is essentially saying his child is fucking with his money. He can’t live the life he wants/expected to because now his finances have to go to more important things. HOWEVER. Eddie Begins also gave us a glimpse at how his priorities changed once he was discharged from the Army. Helena and Ramon point out that Eddie is literally killing himself working three (3!!!) jobs to provide for Christopher while he continues aiming for a career as a firefighter. Then, when Eddie steps out on the front porch and finds his son seeking refuge from the noise, a much-need conversation takes place. Eddie asks Christopher if he ever missed him while he was away. This is SO IMPORTANT ❕❕❕ Eddie could have taken his parents at their word and left Christopher again. What did he do instead? Ask his son point-blank if he missed his father while he was away. Eddie wanted to hear from Christopher’s own mouth that he was getting by just fine without him. To his surprise, Christopher admits that he misses his father all the time. That was all it took. “I’m never gonna leave you again.” I need to take a moment to get emosh over the morning routine montage featuring the Diaz boys. To the average viewer, it’s a cute scene between father and son. Not for me, though! Eddie is exercising alongside Christopher, offering words of encouragement “Keep going, my little Superman!” 🥺😭 A PARENT THAT ACTIVELY PARTICIPATES IN THEIR DISABLED CHILD’S PT PROGRAM. A PARENT THAT IS QUICK TO COMPLIMENT THEIR CHILD’S EFFORTS. 😭🥺 And then we switch over to hair combing/teeth brushing/getting dressed. Y’all. Listen. I know those are mundane tasks that most of you perform on autopilot, but when you have cerebral palsy, there is no guarantee that what you do today can be done just as easily tomorrow, and the realization hits harder as we age. The fact that Eddie allows Christopher to care for himself in whatever way possible for as long as he can is AH-MAZING!. Eddie could be a “helpful” parent and dress his son or comb his hair. Maybe even put the toothpaste on the toothbrush. All that would do, however, is mess with Christopher’s self esteem. All that would do is make Christopher believe he’s “too stupid” to be independent (I say this from experience).   Another example of Eddie’s beautiful heart was given to us after Shannon’s death when, once again, Eddie’s parents try to convince him what’s best for Christopher. Remember how Eddie felt? “Being with me is what’s best for Christopher.” How can we not love him for that? Okay, now, stick with me.  If you bothered to check out tags on gifsets you would see that I commented on Eddie’s remark in 3.01 that “[Christopher] never feels sorry for himself.”

#real talk: i love eddie and i understand what the writers were trying to do in this scene  #but ‘he never feels sorry for himself’ is a little too close to inspiration porn for my liking #disabled children are allowed to feel negative emotions icydk #we hide them to make everyone else more comfortable #what would have been better is if eddie said chris has bad days, too, and buck could ask how he deals with them to gain a new POV But then Eddie did something two episodes later that restored my faith. It was a tiiiiiny detail, like, blink-and-you-miss-it. See the first gif? Really look at it. Eddie starts to back away before Christopher is firmly situated on the edge of the table. He trusts his son to make himself comfortable without further assistance. Do you know how many times I’ve thought someone was going to dislocate my shoulder or elbow because they were gripping me so tightly as I transferred (thinking they were being helpful)? Do you know how many times I’ve had to say “No, it’s fine. I got it. Really.”? Do you know how ANNOYING that is???  Which brings us to... the skateboard episode.  Let’s get this out of the way: His reaction to Christopher’s injuries, though understandable, was not ideal. “Let’s push the kid with CP around on a skateboard for fun. You let them make a fool out of my son.”  Two things we need to address here. Christopher Diaz is more than “the kid with CP” and that phrase coming from his own father would sting were he there to hear it. I am often referred to as “the girl in the wheelchair” because that’s all most people see (not just by strangers, either) and let me tell ya... not the best feeling! “You let them make a fool out of my son” is also a poor choice of words. Christopher is not a “fool” for wanting to try something new. He is not a “fool” for being unaware that certain activities are going to be more difficult than others.  Eddie’s ignorance continued when he told Carla he did not want his son to know he has limitations (”I’m not gonna tell my kid that.”) RULE NUMBERS ONE AND TWO WHEN RAISING A DISABLED CHILD: 1) Make sure your child knows they have a disability and 2) Explain what it means. Christopher confirms that Eddie never took the correct approach by saying “You always said I can do anything. You lied.” Eddie told Christopher he can do anything because admitting otherwise would make it seem like there was something “wrong” with him. I understand the thought process, I think his intentions were good, but YOU ARE SETTING  YOUR CHILD UP TO FAIL IF YOU DO THIS.  You know what happened later in the episode? Eddie admitted he lied. (”I lied to him. Or maybe I lied to myself. Either way, I feel like a fool.”)  Accountability! We love to see it. Eddie is skeptical still (”I’m just not sure how any amount of practice is gonna help Chris stay on a skateboard.”), and we aren’t sure in that moment how the dilemma is resolved. The next time we see Eddie and Chris, Eddie finally (FINALLY!!!) tells his child he’s not like everybody else. HIS STRENGTH. I MUST APPLAUD IT. And then!!! Eddie tells Chris that he has a “black thumb”, unlike his son who was the best at growing plants in his science class. “There’s something you’re better at than me.” Just because your dad can walk (without assistance) doesn’t make him a smarter than you, Chris! Remember that!  So... what happened with the skateboard? We have no idea what the conversation would have been between Buck and Eddie as they brainstormed and built the contraption, but Eddie absolutely deserves credit for going along with the idea, no matter how nervous he may have been. Eddie understood how much doing this specific activity meant to his child. He decided his fears were not as important as Christopher’s feelings,  especially once he found out there was a way to make it happen. Eddie Diaz is exactly the type of parent all disabled children need in their lives. He makes mistakes and learns from them. He doesn’t have all the answers and no longer pretends to. The most important quality that makes Eddie Diaz a desirable parent, however, is the unconditional love he has for his son. Christopher is able to grow up knowing that his father loved him enough to stay. 

[kexing]

I'm so sorry to hear about slander under your beatiful Enchanté gifs (aren't those people tired already??). There is so much care and love pouring out of every of your gifsets that it's insane to imagine how someone would look at them and still be negative... I hope those people will leave your gifs alone (or at least not say anything in the tags) because you deserve a nice and positive safe space especially under your own creations 💖

hi friend 🥺🥺🥺 yeah it’s been a month already, pls enough negativity!

thank you!!!!! even though i don’t make masterpieces, i do put a lot of love and effort into making my content and that alone deserves respect.

all content creators deserve a lot of respect!!!

thank you so much for your kind words, really! i do hope things get better for us eventually 🙏🏼❤️��

[justalittlebluetiefling]

Also not to keep going back to ships, but like traveler con had many fjorester moments, so I think Laura is trying to get some other moments in. Like in my personal opinion I think Jester does have strong emotions for Fjord, but I think Laura wants to give each ship its own moments. I also know it’s getting repetitive, but I’m gonna KEEP HOPING FOR A GOOD FJ MOMENT!!!!

No worries, I am always down to talk ships. I don’t even mind engaging in a little drama, but just not... negative drama? If that makes sense.

I’m not sure I think Laura is trying to spread the love between ships necessarily. I occasionally wonder if Jester has a crush on Caleb, but I’m honestly never sure. Sometimes it reads as crush to me, sometimes it reads as friendly. I just don’t think she’s saying “it’s this ship’s turn to have a moment”. She’s just having a nice moment with another character, whether it’s romantic or not, you know?

Also, I kind of think romance for her isn’t at the top of Jester’s mind right now. She’s messed up over what’s happening. Really messed up. She’s still dealing with the fallout from Travelercon. She’s dealing with Fjord being chased by Uk’otoa across the world. With Caleb’s past. With hoping Veth will stay. With the fact that Molly is alive and is probably not Molly anymore and they just covered up the death of a member of the Cerberus Assembly. I think she’s stressed and also doesn’t know what to do re:Fjord and romance, so she’s just not dealing with that right now.

Anyway. I’m gonna go off on something that seems like a weird tangent, but hear me out. Sorry I’m using your ask as a venting platform haha

VOX MACHINA SPOILERS BELOW

My first live episode was episode 13 of the Mighty Nein. I watched Vox Machina first. The fully completed campaign. I knew that Vax and Keyleth were canon going in, because I finally tried it after I saw a gifset of the two of them saying goodbye to each other in the last episode and I was like why are they crying over a d&d game I need to find out. So, I watched through the entire Vox Machina campaign knowing most of which ships were going to happen. But I was specifically looking for Vaxleth. It was a case of going in already shipping it.

So, there start to be little tiny hints that Vax is into Keyleth after Kraghammer. And they slowly get more obvious but everyone at the table still missed them. And then Vax confessed his love. Two episodes later, they held hands by the tree and Keyleth told him that she needed time in 35. And then NOTHING happens for like 7 episodes. They do the weird dancing around it thing, holding hands, being kind of awkward. And then they don’t spend the night alone in 42. Three episodes later, he reminds her that he loves her and she reiterates not being ready. Nine episodes after that, they make out for a while. TEN EPISODES AFTER THAT, they spend the night together again. Finally, one episode later, Keyleth admits she wants to give things a shot. It took thirty-one episodes between the first time Vax confessed his feelings to them actually being together as a couple.

It’s twelve episodes between the time that Percy kisses Vex before they fight Vorgual and the time he goes to her door to talk and she answers the door completely naked.

Okay I know it sounds like I’m rambling, but... here’s the point. 

There were tiny moments for Vaxleth between all these big moments. But there were also tiny moments for every other ship. Grogleth. Vexleth. Is there a Percy x Keyleth ship? Percy and Keyleth had moments ALL the time. All of these other ships CONTINUED to have what you could consider moments after canon ships were established. We’re gonna see that happen this campaign, too.

I know that it feels like it’s been a long time since we had a big Fjorester moment, but it really hasn’t. It’s been 6 episodes. We’re good, ya’ll, I promise. It FEELS like a long time because we’re watching it live with at least one week between episodes. It was different, for me, when I was watching Vox Machina, because I was going through between 3 and 4 episodes a day. ALSO. It feels like a long time, because we Fjorester shippers were SO FED during Travelercon. We went from an arc where we had constant reassurance to one where they’re both freaking out and having a few conversations, but nothing that seems like ship progress.

The progress is there though! It’s just slow and steady. And in an improv game. There won’t always be time. But I still think they’re endgame. And I think we’re going to see a big Fjorester moment within the next month. I know the wait is torture, but I bet it’s worth it in the end.

[chicoriii]

Miraculous World - New York, United Heroez - my first thoughts

As I planned, I was logged out on Tumblr until seeing the Newy York special. Below there are my thoughts based on notes I made during watching it and without reading other people posts. I still haven't read anything. This is the first thing I'm doing after logging in Tumblr again after the whole weekend of my absence.

Thankfully I was able to see this today with the French dub (unfortunately with mono audio), as I wanted (I wonder if anyone of my Tumblr friends other than @emsylcatac and @kisilinramblings have seen the original version) and with Polish subtitles made by Anielette and her friend. It was translated from the English dub, of course, but that's better than nothing. Unfortunately I've seen some spoilers before watching it, but I could deal with it. There were still some surprises for me.

I have no idea how I should sort my notes out, so that's chaotic post. I'm sorry for that. This special wasn't exactly what I expected, but that's not a bad thing. I thought it will focus much on American superheroes, but in fact that wasn't that much about them, there was more Adrienette action than superhero stuff. Even more Adrienette than Ladynoir. I would never expected that. I feel it's too much fast-paced in the second half, like they were forced to do that to make it 1 hour long. Although I prefer too fast tempo than too slow boring thing.

I love that we could see the space power costumes in action, even if it was only a very short moment. Chat has even bat-like wings, I love them! And Ladybug's eyes change their to pinkish, I need to remember. I was convinced that we would not see them before season 4.

The rose scene is not bad, but I really hate moments when Chat acts like a narcissist. Unpopular opinion: this is why I prefer Adrien over Chat a bit, he is never as much annoying as a civilian.

I'm surprised Madame Bustier is pregnant. I wonder if her pregnant belly will be more and more bigger. It should be, it would a way to show us passing of time.

Nathalie is really sick and she spends much time in bed (nice pajamas, by the way), but she is still able to use Miraculous. I was worried they will act like nothing happened to her and she will be still full of power.

I have spoilered the Adrigami scene myself before. I have seen a gifset with dialogues and I started reading them, as I though it's a scene from Frozer at first. It seemed to be much more dramatic in the gifs than in reality. I like she's more about action (fencing training) than trying to comfort him cheaply. She's a unique character. And that nose kiss was cute, nice, good job, Kagami. ;) I could ship them if there's no Marinette. But I'm 100% monogamist when it comes to shipping. I can't ship one person with two different people at the same time. I feel like it's cheating.

You people want to know why I don't believe Luka is love in love with Marinette in reality? Every time she babbling about Adrien, he is always nothing but pleased. He doesn't seem to care a thing that she prefers Adrien over him. This is not realistic for person who is romantic involved. No matter how much selfless he is, he is still a human being, he has feelings. Luka cares about her a lot, that's obvious and I will never deny it, no matter how much I dislike him as a character. But Lukanette is not really romantic love, none of the sides. Luka treats her more like his younger sister than potential girlfriend. I would never believe in Luka's romantic feelings towards Marinette if he never shows negative sides being in love with someone who is in love in another person. It makes zero sense. I love seeing Sabrina blushing and interested in American boy. It was totally unexpected. I hope she will be more and more independent, she is a good real and deserves better. Much better. Too bad we probably won't see that boy again. I feel bad for Gorilla, but I love seeing his more sensitive side.

And there's my thoughts about Adrienette action. It was so nice seeing them together that much, but there was too much comedy in that romance. One scene with automatic door would be enough. What I liked most about Adrienette was Alya and Nino's serious discussion about them, the way I wanted to see.  Nino is amazing friend, I love him. But Alya surprised me the most. She is aware that Marinette's signs could be more confusing than anything and she is not honest with her and him. I love and respect her even more now. In my opinion Marinette herself is her biggest enemy. Alya is right, they are the cutest and the most cringy at the same time. ;) Marinette really needs to chill and learns how to be friends with Adrien. About the rooftop scene. I have seen a screenshot when Marinette and Adrien are in the sky before and accidentally I have read about their dance, so it wasn't a surprise to me. It seems that dance piece from Despair Bear is treated like their love theme. Nice to hear its acoustic version.

The sewer scene was so depressing. I feel so bad about Adrien. He felt he is worse than Ladybug again. Poor kid. It won't help with his low self-esteem.

I'm not able to say that about superhero stuff. American heroes are really cool, but I feel there weren't enough action scenes. There were not enough of American heroes to say much about them. I didn't expect Aeon being android instead of human being. So then Cataclysm her wasn't too dark for kids. I'm in love with the eagle Kwami. I know what to draw tomorrow. That's so nice we will probably see teen American superheroes again. The both are cool characters.

I also want to add some things about the music. It's much better and more diverse than in show. The opening and ending sequences credits contain names of orchestrators, which highly suggests that music is played by real orchestra, unlike in the series. Even if not, they still used much higher quality samples, though opening theme doesn't sound as much natural. So I think it still could have been be done using their usual instruments. And most importantly, I have access to the version with 5.1. audio which means I could rip the music! And I'm going to do it with great pleasure. I hope you want to hear it too (let me know, it would give me even more motivation, I need that to don't get lazy too early). There're two samples of the musical score. Enjoy! Ripping more will take some time, fixing volume levels is time-consuming.

Opening Theme

Chat Noir’s Theme (Orchestral Arrangement)

[i-like-yoongi-a-latte]

17, 18, 35, 36 :)

Once again, under the cut because I ramble! Includes rambling about Harry Styles and what home means to me. 💕 Fun fact! Harry and Teuvo are the same age and I haven’t known peace since I found out!

I don’t even know if you like these answers, it’s basically me gushing about H.

unusual(ish) asks

17. google the top song from the year you were born

Too Close by Next, according to Billboard

My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion according to some hit list of Finland

18. rant about your favorite musician

I’ll take this as an opportunity to ramble about Harry Styles, as I talked about Louis in the previous one. So, where to start... I’m still amazed that he’s so young and he’s achieved so much. Like, he’s four years older than me, and it felt like he was ‘old’ when I was a teen, but still he felt young?? Now when I think of him, he’s definitely young. I mean, he’s the same age as Teuvo Teräväinen - I still don’t know how to feel about it. He was a baby during the X-Factor and he was so nervous and shy and adorable. I get emotional when I remember that one gifset where he’s younger and his hands shake (and his voice is shaky) and then under that gif is a more recent one where his hands shake a bit, but he’s so confident on stage now. It’s been a wonderful journey to like, grow with him (and all the other boys too) and see him evolve into the great musician and actor he is now. He has lived his teenage years in the spotlight and he hasn’t really had the normal life, he was 16 when all this started. He’s the one who sang the most in One Direction, he was put on the spotlight and after the hiatus news, when he started his solo career, he was on the spotlight much more than Louis, for example. His album got more promo and attention - don’t get me wrong, he deserves it all, but it feels wrong that Louis got basically nothing even though he’s just as talented as Harry is.

He’s had the womanizer trait put on him since he was a teen. It was said that a teen likes older women and that he dates a lot of women. That makes me mad and my heart breaks every time I’m reminded about it. He had to say that he really isn’t a womanizer A LOT OF TIMES and yet media still covers him as the womanizer. Like, when asked what his favorite part of a woman is, this boy answers with “I don’t know, maybe a smile” or something like that. And he’s said the comment “that objectifies women” in interviews too, when asked something weird. Like, he was actively telling that he isn’t like that, but it felt like nobody really cared. He’s really humble too, like when asked in interview, if he had to list the top five things in being in a band/singing/being an artist, he said that money wouldn’t be on the list. I believe that he’s being sincere and I can see that he loves to perform and write songs etc. He’s so down-to-earth in my opinion, he seems so happy and grateful that he can do what he loves. My heart is about to burst.

His vocal range, the songs he writes - phew this man is talented. His voice is beautiful, he shows so much emotion in his songs - Falling for example, he sounds so raw in it. And his performances, he really knows how to be on stage, like he dances around and he just has the thing for performing, you can see it. He dances like he doesn’t care, he’s clearly having fun and encouraging the audience to have fun too. About the songs, my favorites are Kiwi, Sweet Creature, Golden and Sunflower, Vol. 6. They have nice and kind of quirky elements in them and I love them for that. I love the Fine Line album a lot, give it a listen - I promise it’s not like the usual boyband stuff. He’s also an actor, which is amazing, and he’s a model for Gucci - what can’t he do?

He’s the sweetest and he’s so funny too. I’ll admit, he wasn’t my favorite during the One Direction hype, because I was stupid and didn’t want to like the one who was put in front of me and he was everyone’s favorite. He cares for his fans, he’s so kind to everyone - I really haven’t heard if he’s been angry at someone or anything like that. He’s very respectful and from what I’ve heard, he’s quite shy. His sense of humor is kind of underrated, not everyone gets his weird jokes. I mean, him saying “I can’t write songs” in a teary voice and writing a banger after another - we love this kind of humor in this household! It’s basically me yelling “I can’t write good essays” when in reality I’m quite good (wow me praising myself what is this). He also talks kind of slowly and his voice is very calming. People might think that he’s boring because he talks so slowly, and miss a part of his personality when they don’t listen to him. I could listen to him talk for hours because he seems like a person who would chat about everything with you. Personally I think he’s really funny and I relate to him, and I really look up to him in a way. I want to be more confident, and he gives me an example of it. He’s been on movie set and he ate alone because he was feeling shy, which is a huge contrast to what he is on stage. If he can be shy and reserved but at the same time very confident and open, why can’t I? This might sound silly but I am serious, I really want to learn that. Louis makes me want to try my best even though it might get hard sometimes, and Harry makes me want to be myself and not to be ashamed of it.

He’s actively telling people to treat people with kindness, which is great in my opinion. If people were more kind to each other, maybe the negativity in the world would decrease, even a bit. And I think that when he says tpwk, he wants to tell that he should be treated with kindness too, because he’s been in the media’s eye for many years and he’s been treated badly too. I want to be kind to people even without him telling me, but I feel like him using his voice to even try to tell this to people is great and important. Be kind!! To yourself and others!

Reading this over, I sound so mushy and soft - which I am. I mean, I love him.

35. what does home mean to you?

Home to me is a warm and safe place where I can be myself and be vulnerable, let my guard down. Home could be a person too, a person who makes me feel safe, warm, and with who I can be myself. Is it cheesy to say that home could be a person whose arms would give me the warmth that feels like fireplace and their cuddles would make me feel safe...? Home means love - whether it’s with someone or alone. (that’s so deep wooooooooooooooow)

Home as a word reminds me of One Direction’s song called Home and Harry’s song Sweet Creature. And all the other times their songs have home mentioned because my life is full of One Direction. (and I have no other life but they make me happy so) This is not even a part of the question but I started...

I mean look at the chorus of Home: “And it's alright / Calling out for somebody to hold tonight / When you're lost, I'll find a way / I'll be your light / You'll never feel like you're alone / I'll make this feel like home”. This makes me feel reassured somehow, like there’s this other person who will make the place feel like home, which to me is a safe place, so I interpret this as that. I’m rambling about lyrics and not answering to the question directly, sorry.

“Sweet creature, sweet creature / Wherever I go, you bring me home” - this is so heart-warming because the other makes the other feel like home and I could gush about this for ages. Like the ‘you’ in the song brings the other home, wherever they are, and that’s sweet because the person brings home to that other person without literally moving a place, because the home is that person and/or the feeling of home comes with the person. “Two hearts in one home” sounds so sweet and it makes me feel so soft inside. If home is a place, two hearts are there together, or if home is a feeling, it is with the other person.

36. what do you think you’d be arrested for?

Ha! What a question! Hmm... For being a smartass? For causing a scene if I had the guts to tell some people to shut up when they yell stupid things at hockey games? I really don’t know.

[theexecutionerssong]

I’m replying to everyone who’s sent me a message regarding the being nicer thing from yesterday under the cut because I don’t want to be annoying by publishing so many asks. thank you, all of you ♥

Honestly, I think it’s ridiculous that people are accusing you of sounding mean/rude etc. sometimes I think you’re still too nice to the rude anons and I feel like a lot of this is passive aggressive on their part. They come at you because they think you’re an ‘insider’ fan and they’re jealous, and if you come back defensively, then they accuse you of being rude blah blah blah. If these people are making your experience on tumblr a negative one then just ignore those asks and enjoy yourself bb! 

Hmm idk I mean it wouldn’t cross my mind to go after someone because they know some things I don’t? So they probably have a point somewhere in telling me I should be kinder, I know I can be short when I answers asks because I get so many and sometimes the same ones every other day so it gets a bit tiring...

hello! for sounding "nicer" i know when it comes to like texting friends and stuff. i always over use emojis and 'lol' bc i think when you don't it makes people (including myself) read it in a kind of boring/unimpressed tone in my head. LIKE HOW CAPS MAKES ME YELL IN MY HEAD LOL. (disclaimer: i'm a recent follower and find you nothing but nice. and you definitely don't owe any of us to go out of your way to type differently so you come across as 'nicer'. your english is fantastic!)

if I ever use lol then it’s because I find the thing extremely not funny and it’s ironic ahah I try to use emoji but when on my computer I can’t really be bothered... Thank you very much for your message!

I don’t think you’re rude, I think sometimes you get defensive because you’ve been getting the same questions over and over again and you must get tired. And you’ve talked about having insomnia so you must also be physically tired on top of mentally. That’s normal, we’re all humans. Don’t worry about it.

Yeah it’s true, I do get defensive when I’m more tired. Sometimes when I need to vent, I read my inbox outloud to a friend - the asks I don’t publish I mean - and it helps but sometimes I don’t have anyone next to me to do that with so I get cranky when I see people prying into the cast’s lives, asking personal questions, things like that. It’s hard to ignore when you read the same disturbing things every couple of days. Thank you ♥

You're not annoying at all, on the contrary, you're the sweetest! It's just that I think people are frustrated that you know so much without sharing, and maybe also the fact that you continue to think you're a normal fan, even though you're clearly "in". I don't know, I'm trying to understand... I think it might be jealousy as well.

The thing is, I can’t say for now how I’ve come to know some stuff because it would spoil way too much and I don’t know if I’ll even be able to ever. I’m not really “in”, that’s the thing. I am a normal fan, as normal as a fan who’s lucky enough to live in Paris and who could go to a lot of events - and that’s a couple hundreds of us. I don’t know how much the international fandom is aware of that but David and Niels and the cast know hundreds of us by name just because we were lucky enough to meet them several times. I’m not really more “in” than those other people. Some from the cast have not a clue who I am at all and others only know my @ on instagram because I send them the pics. I’m a bit closer to some for reasons I can’t talk about. The team got a lot of complaints about everything always happening in Paris and some fans ending up being more priviledged than others. I’m hoping there will be more events outside of Paris, maybe screenings or something in the future so it doesn’t feel as ~Parisian elite~ as last year.

I think you’ve always been receptive when people came to you with a different opinion and from what I saw, you’re always willing to learn. Some people are just too entitled and come barging in and that’s when you raise you hackles. It’s not really on you, it’s hard to be kind to everyone when people don’t always deserve it.

Hmmm yeah, my friends have told me I have strong opinions and don’t change my mind easily so... idk. I could maybe be more receptive, like you said, at times. I went from getting one ask every six months to dozens a day in a few weeks last year and it still blows my mind. I wasn’t ready for that. There must be people who disagree with me in my followers. Idk. Something I need to think about. Thanks ♥

bonsoir tumblr grandma! 💫 in my humble opinion, you do not come off as rude. I just think sometimes people tend to read what they wanna read and make the worst out of it. Plus, the whole Even season is a really touchy subject because everyone would love one and when such announcements of possibles seasons happen, they can't help but be hopeful. So of course they don't like it when they're told it's not gonna happen. You're not rude, you're just saying things they don't want to hear. 🤷‍♀️ ily!

I know how much people must be upset to see their hopes crushed, I was disappointed too back when I first heard about it, and my hopes were not that high to begin with since David had said before Eliott wasn’t considered as main. I get asks every week about Eliott being main, almost every gifset I make will have a tag about how whatever is clearly a reference to Eliott being main and I’m just like... let it go. Or talk about it on your own posts. I’m sad it’s not happening. Don’t rub it in my face, you know? I didn’t say anything for months and accepted it was the way it would be so I couldn’t complain but then Henrik mentioned it to someone at HOS2 and I thought that finally those asks and comments would stop but they don’t and it’s very tiring. Anyway, thank you as always!

I don't think you're rude and i don't know you irl it's just that some of your anons are creepy and acted so demanding like you owe us something and it pissed me off actually. Like those anon who asked something like you know this right? How you know abt this? Why you know the cast? It sounds so suspicious that you know them etc. these anons are so nosy like why so negative. Istg i thought they would interrogate you yesterday after you mentioned abt working with assa before skamfr.

I’m gonna say something I haven’t really shared in details before but it’s weighting on me. Some anons are really creepy, so I don’t publish them. For exemple, somebody found my spotify recently and through it found my old Facebook. My friends have sent me screenshots of people following them on their instagram after being tagged in my stories and they are always Skam stans, even when my friends have never posted about anything Skam related. Someone once went digging into my personal life so far that they could have ruined the theme of season 5 in september if they had decided to make what they had found public instead of sending me an ask about it. That shit is not okay. I blew up about this once last year and somebody told me “why do you make it sounds like we’re creepy fans of yours” and well, because some stuff IS creepy. I understand being curious but I will never share anything about the personal lives of the cast or anything that could spoil the seasons so I’d just like it if people stopped asking, you know? Thank you for reaching out ♥

gaëlle you never even once came off as rude (i started following you in february-march when s3 was airing). you're always helpful and patient. it's obvious when ppl go to cons/projos/meet the cast they might unintentionally find out smth that's not public knowledge. and it's a good thing actually that you don't immediately run here to share bc maybe a cast member didn't mean to reveal smth etc. in any case you don't owe us any information and those who demand answers are the rude ones

Thank you, love. yeah I’ve lost counts of how many times they’ve accidentally spoiled something at cons or screenings or in the background of ig stories, especially in the beginning. They are more careful now and some even let slip fake spoilers to see if it will spread (and by some I mean Axel after his play when he stays to talk to fans lmao). The fans who’ve learned stuff that way are usually super protective of the show though so nothing really spreads and that’s really nice to see - sorry Axel, joke’s on you ahah

Hi Gaëlle! Just want to say that I followed you because you always sound soooo sweet and sincere when answering asks. Never thought you're rude, even sometimes I thought you could be ruder because the ask was rude😂 Anyway, just thought let you know my opinion on the last ask, have a good day!🥰

Thank you darling. I’m sure I must have been rude at some point, I don’t think the anon from yesterday would have said that out of the blue, and I’m very sorry that I don’t realize it. Unless when people are REALLY rude then I allow myself to tell them to fuck off dfghjk

You don’t know me but I saw you a lot at HOS2, I recognized you from your instagram. Every time I saw you, you were cuddling people, laughing, singing - I heard you sing with your friends and Maxence joining in, it was adorable! The cheers the cast let out when they saw you come up for the group pictures weren’t fake. You have an aura around you that brightens the room. I really hope this isn’t too weird of me to say. I don’t think you could ever be unkind. You wouldn’t have so many friends otherwise - I mean, it looked like you do - and the cast wouldn’t have reacted like that upon seeing you. That alone convinced me you were a good person.

Oh my god I don’t know what to say. This is very unexpected, why didn’t you come say hi if you knew who I was? I wouldn’t have minded at all! Thank you, I don’t know what to say, really this is so kind. Have a lovely day. Thank you. thank you.

You're one of the nicest people I know, you're a literal bundle of love and sunshine (I'm not even kidding, really). And you're always so considerate about everybody when you're responding to asks that are asked NICELY... so really I don't know how you can come across as rude. And you deserve all the love 💕

Merci @littlhedgehog love you so so much and I’m so happy Skam brought us together. It’s been way too long since I gave you a hug ♥♥♥

and at 3 parts anon with advice who told me not to publish, thank you too, I’ll remember everything you said ♥

[fatui-harbingers]

I was honestly bored watching the finale and just wondering when is this gonna be over omg. Drogon nudging Daenerys made me sad and that was about it. I was really hoping that Jon was gonna get roasted but of course he wasn’t. What a bummer. I would very much like to stab this version of Jon to death, ngl. I'm only okay with him living bc it made Ghost happy. Ghost and Drogon are the only one's alive that deserve happiness! I hate all the other characters, except Yara and Grey Worm.

This wasn't a good ending whatsoever. For anyone. I really wish I never started watching this show to begin with! My mom would be so disappointed. She was rooting for Dany, enjoyed Jonerys and even thought that if they lasted they should rule together. She would be especially disappointed bc she watched Lost, HIMYM, and Dexter. I watched most of HIMYM and Dexter but never saw the endings but I've been told they were extremely disappointing.

I honestly don't understand why it was such a big deal that Daenerys burned King's Landing anyway. I mean, its war, it ain't pretty and innocents die. It's not like whole cities haven't been destroyed in our own history! It's not like she burned every major city in the Seven (six now I guess lol) Kingdoms. She burned ONE! And besides, we only saw the people there when it was convenient so I really didn't care.

And like... did Tyrion really think his siblings were gonna live? Lol, he’s the mad one if you ask me!

All this insanity was not worth seeing Jon’s hair down again either. Not even close. I hope what he did haunts him for all eternity bc he deserves to suffer as long as he lives. I’m sure there’s a special place in hell for men that kill their lovers, especially after kissing them just after you pledged yourself to them as a trick. So disgusting! I’ve had enough of seeing men emotionally abusing and manipulating such a wonderful woman. She deserved the world but I’m sure she’s with her family and friends and children in the afterlife.

I was hoping after seeing Jon sorta defending Dany that he wouldn’t kill her even though he seemed conflicted (bc for some reason he’s suddenly soooo moral. And hey, did you notice he had more lines! Omg!) but as soon as he “pledged” himself to her, I knew what was gonna happen.

This show really catered to straight white dudes tonight, didn't it! Really loved watching a man murder his lover, it was really nice to be reminded of how common that is irl. Do D&D know that most women are killed by their partners or ex-partners? Guess if they did, they didn't care. Who am I kidding, they never cared!

Did D&D even read the books? I haven't either and WOW I could have written a much better show with no previous experience. I feel like even I know the books better, lol, but that is bc I love fantasy and research so I did my homework. Girls have been proven to do better in school anyways!

So, yeah, I'm bitter. I won't forget this EVER. And not as a Dany stan! I won't forget this as a woman coming of age under the Trump Administration. I won't forget this a feminist.

I'm still gonna get me a Targaryen tattoo. I'm gonna get a Dany tattoo separately bc she deserves her own place on my skin. I'm just gonna get tattoos of all my wronged feminist icons. Daenerys Targaryen, Medusa, and Lilith (from the Bible that no one ever talks about, even though I have very strong negative feelings about Christianity). I'm sure I'll find more but those are def gonna happen.

I am gonna read the books bc 1.) my grandmother spent nearly $90 on them for me and 2.) I’ve only read little bits a pieces and they seem 1000x better already. I’m not gonna hope for the last two to come out, and if they do, I’m only gonna get them if I’m told the ending was way better. I don’t want Dany to die at all but, I’ll take another woman’s heroic death for the greater good over being stabbed in the heart by her lover, even though I’m tired of that too.

Anyways, I think I reblogged a post that said “you won't see dany die on this blog” or something along those lines but I take it back bc I've seen some really pretty gifsets! I'm sorry! But I'll use the tag #death tw as requested by those that don't wanna see it.

Daenerys should’ve done things her way from the start. Listening to everyone else was probably her biggest mistake. If she had burned the Red Keep in s7 when she wanted to, things would be fine, I’m sure of it. But, unfortunately, she didn’t listen to herself. And she fell for Jon Snow, which is apparently a death sentence.

I didn’t realize it till people started pointing it out but even I was using this show as a power fantasy. That was my mistake, lol. Clearly, women aren’t allowed to even dream of power. Not gonna stop us now though.

I don’t think I’ll ever get over this bc of what Dany means to so many people. RIP Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen. Dany deserved better. No doubt about that.

[adreamofspring-archive]

I love how its not okay for Maisie to say one bad thing about Jon or for Nikolaj to say one bad thing about Dany before everyone jumps down their throats but it’s 100% okay for Kit to say something mean about Sansa and not only for you to reblog but leave it without tagging it as anti. No one ever talks about how much Sophie was bullied bc people don’t like Sansa. Ppl seem to forget that she started this show when she was 11 years old and it still happens to her and she has talked about it!

You jumped through 4 different topics so here you go.

I’ve said many times that bullying someone for the character they play is never okay and it’s quite ridiculous. Sophie and Sansa are not the same. Just as Maisie and Arya are not the same. Just as Kit and Jon are not the same. As someone who has to defend Emilia against people who dare say her aneurysms are fake for sympathy for when her character ‘goes mad’, defend her against people who body shame her, who say she’s cold and heartless or mock her for admiring Daenerys and saying she’s a feminist icon, because they hate Daenerys and because she gets in the way of their ship; Trust me, I totally understand the concept of not bullying someone for the character they play.

Just to clarify, what Kit is doing is not the same thing as “bullying sophie.” You bringing up “bullying sophie” is a whole separate issue and you are attacking me for something that I have nothing to do with and no control over. Kit’s comments are joking comments meant as a jab at sophie–his FRIEND who he routinely trolls this way. That has nothing at all to do with actual fans bullying sophie which is fucked up and gross and also not my responsibility to correct

I haven’t jumped down Nikolajs throat or Maisies throat for giving a negative opinion about the characters on the show because their opinions don’t really matter to me in terms of what is canon and what isn’t. The actors saying something that is not canon and saying something about the characters they play that isn’t in character - that’s different, and we have a right to criticize the things they say about the character they’re playing. Nikolaj hasn’t just said "one bad" thing about dany, he's talked about disliking her on numerous occasions. I don’t care what he thinks because he’s putting himself in the head space of the character he plays and the character he plays doesn’t like dany so whatever. I still stan him despite him not liking dany. It’s not that serious. Literally kit doesn’t have to like sansa, no one has to, that doesn’t mean it’s “anti sansa” and that surely doesn’t mean that he’s "bullying sophie" and for you to bring that up is a complete red herring and just super weird in general.

You could have nicely asked me to tag it as anti Sansa because it bothers you that he feels that way, I would have most certainly gone back and do that for you. Not sure if I feel like it now though since you’ve come into my ask box and tried to make me seem like a hypocrite for rebloging a gifset of kit harington saying sansas character is annoying lol.

Have a nice day.

[kveom]

My first follow forever (wOW)!!!! cya 2017!!

It’s so crazy to think that at the start of this year the only Seventeen I knew was the number… and now, whenever I hear the number seventeen, the first thing I think of is the group of 13 boys that brightened up my 2017.

After my introduction to seventeen came my introduction to this fandom and to some really beautiful people. I’m so grateful to all of you for being so welcoming, and filling my dash with posts that are memetastic, creative, beautiful and filled with the awesomeness of 13 precious boys. Oh! Also, thanks for brightening up my dash with awesome tags as well hehheheh. I hope 2018 treats you all with the happiness and love you deserve 💕💕

So for my mutuals I thought I’d write out my first impressions of each of you or the first post I saw from you (i’m really cheesy okay). Most of them I remember, but for the few I couldn’t, I wrote down the post that is most memorable for me or what I love about you/your blog :))

Also, it isn’t in alphabetical order... eep too lazy

@dokyeoms-angel - ’wow she loves dk as much as i do... i love her’

@17dad - i was a bit like ‘lol wut’ at your url because you were one of the first blogs i followed (and i was still getting to know svt) so i didn’t know how much of a dad scoups was

@kwoncoups - i followed you when you were imhobi and i remember thinking your url was for hoshi (even though i’d never heard hoshi being referred to as hobi idk) because i didn’t know hobi was jhope’s nickname lmao

@exxtramint - the first thing i saw from you was this vocal unit gifset and it was an instant follow hehe

@pechajun - i’m pretty sure i started following you when you were lunarjun and i rly liked your username ^^

@powerfulhoshi - this is the first gifset i saw from you and the font and the gifs and everything was soooo clean and nice!!!!!

@bubkwan - i wanted to steal your description

@hoshi-ssi - i’m pretty sure it was hoshi’s palm fairy gifset that made me follow because... yes... that’s the content i’m here for

@junshva - i found your layout so beautiful <3333 esp. that picture of seokmin *-*

@kyoem - i think this was the first i saw from you, but even if it wasn’t, it’s amazinggggg

@mvngyu - ‘heehee the sidebar is so cute’

@swimmingfool - this!!!! freaking!!!! edit!!!!! <3333

@jeong-hanie - beautiful gifs, must follow

@keyboardaegyo - i thought your theme(+ navi page) was really cuteee!!!

@vernons-laugh-is-my-aesthetic - ‘memes??? um YES’

@jeonwoooo - okay, this one is probably the creepiest... i thought ‘ooh i like their name’

@wonnwoo- i loveeee your wonwoo starsign edit

@santascoups - read your desc + about page and thought you seemed cool lmao

@the1the8 - i think the first thing i saw of yours was that simple but gorgeous chocolate edit <333

@woenoo - i thought your tag for wonwoo was so cute wnfnadssndk

@wonshu - will always remember you as the one to tag me in that lethal dk photoset... so there’s a love/hate relationship (jk i love)

@leejhs - tbvh, your love for milk tea is what i remember

@dearseventeen - ’this theme is sooo cuteeeeeeeee... dino!!!!’

@vitaminniedk - ‘they love dk, i love them’

@myungho - tbh your url kept coming up on my dash because of follow forevers/mentions and i was like this person must be really cool lmao (and you are)

@96kwon - your memes 😂

@rappershua- *reads* lee seokmin; you’re my love (on your navi) ‘SOLD’

@jeongahn - i found your layout so beautiful!!!!!

@7unhui - saw this and... yeah...

@jisoostar - this was the first post i saw from you and it was amazing (colours!!!) and i also thought ‘why haven’t i seen that photo of dk, he looks so good skdnfjdfsn’

@wonhuis - i love that you’re a tag talker hehehe

@bbaksu - i love your rocket edit *-* (it also might’ve been the first edit i saw from you but i can’t 100% remember)

@jishua - 'this secret santa is so sweet lfmslmdf’

@pitdae - ‘only an awesome person can write this about page’ (and thank you for awesome gifs ^^)

@pinktomatocat - this edit made me cri follow, it’s so nice!!!

@kwoncity - ’wow they know their stuff’ (was reading your answers about music and yeah)

@chiwoopsie - the ‘types of carats during comeback season’ post was the first one i saw from you. it’s gold <333

@hoshidotcom - ’i like my soonyoungs spicy’ yes okay that’s a follow

@captainoates - thank you for everything you provide for this fandom <3333

@boosonseok - lmao this post

@xiyeonah - ’wow... her dk tags.... are me....’

@zeonghan - i’ve said it before but you’re a cOOL person

@softmanscoups - ’this one’s a riot’ / i still remember when dk was your bias and there was one post about slushies and tongues lmao... i will never forget

@seokmins-thighs - i don’t think you had this url when i followed you but it said somewhere that this used to be your username and i thought ’they should totally go back to seokmins-thighs’ (also, the fact that you have a tag for his thighs... thank you // edit: i’m going through that tag now and your tags are gold 😂😂 i luv dk stans)

@bangtanbombdotcom - this one’s probably the most vague but... it was some sort of text post about seventeen that made me follow you but i can’t remember lol (it might’ve been talking about their dancing or just praising them, but anyway i agreed so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

@cafewoozi - (you were meant to be down there ↓ like a day ago but now you’re here and that’s amazing) ‘pastel everywhere 😍’ *reads description* ‘ahhh’

@sunshine-turkey - ‘sunshine-turkey... interesting url’ lmao

If we’re mutuals and you’re not here, pls let me know!!! and if you’re up there ^ and we’re not mutuals... hope you had fun reading my first impression anyway!!!

I know i’m the worst mutual ever because people scare me but I hope you know that I love and appreciate all of you!!!

The rest aren’t mutuals, but are still blogs I adore <33

@woozzi, @camera-seventeen, @verngyu, @12fools, @incorrect7teen, @svt-laughing, @happydk, @17cuties, @amemericans, @pledisboys, @yoonjeonghannie, @gyuofficial, @17hateblog, @seungkwa, @dokyummm, @juunshua, @adoreu-carat @livelovelunch, @je0nghans  + my whole blogroll (also there are some blogs who i constantly reblog from or who make me laugh but i can’t remember the urls so... there’s that // there’s one in particular i tried to find but i can’t remember :(( )

okay, now this is gonna get real extra but here are some special mentions lmao:

@verymerryotl - when i was first getting into svt your analyses were really interesting and helpful, so thank you for writing them ^^

@pabospoiler- your giffing of dk actually made me start giffing because i wanted to make him shine like you do :) (even though i’m doing a bad job of it lmao)

@fyseokmin - *bows down* you really make my dash a happier place (you might not see this bc you’re on hiatus but i hope you’re doing okay <333)

@kristian-do - thank you so much for everything you do for this fandom!!! i know you’ve said before that you’re not sure how long you can maintain your blog for, and i hope that when the time comes, you put yourself first ❤️

@jisoosmeoli - the first person to talk to me on tumblr!! thanks for dealing with this socially awkward weirdo >< you’re awesome 💕💕

@raphamster - thanks for being dk trash with me 💖💕❤️ i’m so glad i made that post about seungkwan being the best person ever :))

Happy new year!!!! Kick 2018 in the behind 😎

The last part is just a cheesy thank you to seventeen, which you don’t have to read if you don’t want to (and i couldn’t put it under a read more, sorry) -- this is kinda something I don’t want people to see but I also do because it needs to be said and I want to show people how wonderful seventeen is

so halfway through the year i found out about seventeen. i’d never stanned a kpop group before and i never really wanted to, just because of the emotional toll it would take on me. but seventeen pretty much said ‘nuh uh, coming through’ and... yeah... and i’m so grateful for that :’)

discovering seventeen this year has helped me a lot. these boys just radiate happiness and love, and you can’t not feel it. i’m a really (negative) emotional person, so if i get one whiff of sadness or anger, either from others or myself, i fall into this dark hole of negative emotions, which i usually just wait out. but now, whenever i’m in that dark hole, i can watch some seventeen videos or listen to their music and my heart will feel a bit lighter. i mostly watch their dance practices idk why?? maybe because it makes me feel so proud??? oh, also their performances!! which shows how much of an impact their stage presence/energy has. anyway, just watching them do anything really fills me with warmth and all these good emotions that override the bad. even just daydreaming about what it’s like to be part of their lives, surrounded by that bubble of joy and love they create gets me through it :)

they also made me realise that i need to surround myself with people who make me love life. i have a circle of friends but we’re not super close and i used to be fine with that, but learning about these boys and how important they are to each other made me realise that i shouldn’t settle for that. i need a friend that i can tell anything to, to lean on when i need to (and who’ll listen to me talk about seventeen all day). they give me hope that i’ll find friends like that, who i’ll treat like family. they also reinforce my belief that everything happens for a reason. can you imagine if scoups or woozi had debuted before the rest?? or if seungkwan ended up in jyp?? but nope, they all found each other and they adore each other so much while creating AMAZING music, so they give me hope for the future :) 

i wanted to write another paragraph about dk but i’ll just say this: he reminds me of all the good things in the world and he can make me smile like no other 💖💖

so to sum this up, i want to thank the 13 beautiful boys of seventeen for making my 2017 a bit brighter just by being them :)) go and make 2018 your year like you did 2017, but look after yourselves!! i hope you carry this joy for life and love for one another into the new year 💕💓💖❤️💕💞💘💚💛💙💜❤️💕 

[soonhoonsol]

I would like to very sincerely apologize for being a bad content creator

<< LONG rant below >>

I’m really sorry

I feel like what I’m doing isn’t enough...and even though I’ve made that survey to help me, it’s not getting the response I hoped for it to get, and it might just be my anxiety but I feel that I’m not reaching out as much as I can, and no matter what I do...it’s just not enough. I also asked the bigger accounts for help to spread my survey and trust me, I had to overcome a major anxiety attack there because I was worried about what they would think of me. Like, “why is this small account asking me for help?” Ya know?

I know it might seem like I’m just begging for attention (maybe I am, idk) and I’m definitely annoying, but it’s difficult having to constantly pump out content whilst juggling my other responsibilities. Later this week I have a camp to facilitate, which means 3 days away from this website, meaning 3 days of constant worrying of how everyone will think of me (e.g. she’s a bad content creator because she’s not uploading anything).

And yeah, you might think I’m just blaming everything on my anxiety but it’s quite serious. People just overlook my anxiety, especially my parents, because I’m not diagnosed or anything, or they just think I’m faking. I’m not. I’m the kind of person who needs constant reassurance, which is why I always try to reach out to the Carat community before I post stuff (e.g. asking for opinions). I’m always worried that my gifsets aren’t good enough, or my headers aren’t creative enough (okay granted I’ve only made like, 2 header posts so...) And even when speaking to mutuals, I’m worried I come across as something that I’m not. I read the tags on most of my posts, and some tags are really very very heartwarming and that makes me love making content, but am I doing enough?

I’m trying my best here, to overcome my anxiety and to make good content for this blog, especially since it’s school holidays (term break...something like that) so I have time to do stuff. But amidst all these projects I’m doing on my own, I tend to miss out on a lot of stuff (lives, videos, etc.) from SVT, which is my main content pool. (I don’t have the V app on my phone because my dad could only afford a Windows phone at the time and I’ve been using that the past few years...) And when I miss out on SVT content, the more alert blogs use that to make their posts and my own projects that I worked really hard on just get shunned. 

I doubt anyone would read this really long rant (I am so so sorry) but I kinda just needed to let it out. After all, if I keep everything in, I’ll explode one day. 

But aside from all this negativity, I want to say Thank You to everyone who has reblogged or liked my posts, and to all those who took my survey (all 59 of you, currently. The goal was 200 but...I don’t think that’s very...reachable). I’m very thankful to be in the Carat fandom, for all of you are very nice (pun intended) people. :’)

[accio-ambition]

Hello, and welcome to another episode of what in the world are you doing to me, Maggie? In this episode, we'll feature adorable drunks, bedsharing, and sexytime boot scenes. Tune in for that and more, coming up!

A million and bajillion thanks to @shipsxahoy, @queen-icicle-fandom, @sotheylived, and those crazy kids at @captainswanbigbang. With each new chapter, I get a little sadder that this project is wrapping up and I don't think I'll ever be able to thank them enough.

Summary: Bouncing around with her son for the majority of her life, Emma Swan has told herself she’s happy in the city. It’s where the most camera operating jobs are, and that’s how she makes her money. But when an old friend calls her and asks for her help on a new project in small town Maine, Emma finds herself in a place she’s never been with people she doesn’t know filming a profession she knows nothing about. But when the captain of the ship she’s filming begins taking a keen interest in her and her life, she finds herself wondering whether she might just catch something other than fish. Deadliest Catch AU Rating: M Content warning: Character death, some violent situations Chapter warning: Foul language, clothed foreplay if that needs to be a warning

FFnet/Ao3/Cover/Snapshots/Gifset/Manip

Chapter Seventeen

A couple nights later, Henry sleeps over at Grace’s house after a long week at school and Emma takes advantage of the empty house by getting drunk on the rum Killian and Liam brought over for Christmas - which she still hasn't finished m. It’s not the smartest idea she’s had ever, but work has been rough lately. Since she doesn’t like to drink immensely with her son around, she tends to go hard on the few occasions Henry’s gone. Sad movies, drinking out of the bottle, the whole nine yards.

She’s probably a half hour into Pretty Woman - Julia Roberts telling off that snotty woman at the store is her favorite part, let’s be honest - when it starts to rain and Emma, perhaps influenced by the copious amounts of alcohol she’s consumed, goes outside to take it in. It seems to fit the mood: getting wasted and hanging out in the rain, letting the water wash away whatever worries and negative thoughts are bumping around in her brain. It’s rejuvenating, even if a bit chilly.

Which explains why when she gets a burst of energy, she absolutely has to run down to the Joneses’ house. What’s a better way to warm up then to run?

It really is freeing, having the raindrops pelt against her skin and drench her sweatpants. She makes it up to their front door without feeling out of breath at all, and knocks on the door with a bright, wide smile on her face.

While she waits, Emma realizes she’s stepped in a puddle or two on the way down there. The bottom of her pants pull the rest of them down, her bare ankles and feet nearly covered in the excess wet fabric. She crouches down to roll them up a little bit, but her hands aren’t working properly.

She’s still trying to hike up her pants - or maybe the mission has changed to wringing out the water - when the door creaks open and Killian answers, confused.

“You should really do something about your puddles.” she says in greeting, rising and effectively giving up on whatever she was trying to do.

“Pardon, love?”

“Your puddles,” she repeats, pointing behind her. “You should do something about them because they were in my way and I stepped in them and now my feet are wet.”

“Swan, are you…” he starts, and then dissolves into chuckles. “Swan, are you drunk?”

She shrugs, nervously twisting at the waist. “I’ve had a drink,” she admits. “Or seven.”

His chuckles grow louder as he shoots her a delighted smile. “Oh Swan,” he murmurs, holding out his hand. Naturally, she takes it. “My lovely adorable drunken Swan.” That makes her happy, a dopey grin growing on her face as she takes a step closer to him. “Where’s Henry?”

“He’s at a sleepover.”

“Well, I suppose it’s good you don’t have to care for him tonight.” Killian ushers her inside, tugging on her hand. He disappears for a moment, letting her drip alone on the hardwood floors of the entryway, and comes back with a pair of socks way too big for her as she ungracefully flops on the couch. Ever the gentleman, he takes one of her legs and places it on his lap, carefully rolling the socks up and onto her foot. He does the same thing with her foot, before tapping her shins.

“I’d suggest we start a fire, but we haven’t any firewood, so I’m sorry about that.”

“But then we could make s’mores.”

He laughs, sparking some warmth within her better than any fire could. “Yes, Swan, we could, but that would involve burning some furniture and I shouldn’t think Liam would be too pleased with me.”

She sighs dramatically, sinking further into the cushions. “Who cares?” She gets up, goes to kitchen to get herself some water, and peruses the fridge’s contents. Even the mention of s’mores makes her hungry for something sweet. Maybe they’ve got whipped cream and ice cream.

Emma opens up the freezer at the same time, trying to focus one eye on each side of the appliance, but all it’s doing is giving her a headache. She shivers.

“Is there something specific you’re looking for?” The contrast of the cool blast in front of her and the heat of his body behind her is far more intoxicating than the alcohol she’s drunk. It forces her to unconsciously sway back into him, her shoulders gently nudging into his chest. She takes a swig of water and turns around, letting both doors close behind her.

“No. Not really.” She shivers again.

Killian gazes down at her, a little smirk on the corner of his lips. “You should get out of those wet clothes,” he says, taking a step back. “Can’t have the boss falling ill, can we?” He takes her hand once more and drags her to the laundry room.

“I’m not your boss,” she whines, coming to a stop right in the doorway. Killian releases her and goes digging through the clean laundry. He hands her a shirt and a pair of shorts from atop the washer. “What are these for?” she asks.

“Change into them.” He leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Through the wood, he says, “Change and throw your wet ones in the dryer. And when you can’t figure out which buttons to press, go ahead and shout.”

Emma wrinkles her nose. “I know what buttons to press, asshat,” she shouts.

She strips down and throws her clothes in the machine. She puts his shirt on and take a quick sniff and, ugh, even his shirt smells good.

(Bastard.)

She wants to prove him wrong, she really does because she’s not that drunk. She ran down here, didn’t she? And she didn’t fall flat on her face nor did she get any glass in her feet or skin her knees on rocks. Emma is a strong independent woman who doesn’t need help from any man.

“Killian!” she yells. “Killian, the dryer is broken!”

Far too quickly, he enters the mudroom chuckling. “Are the words moving as well?” he asks. “Is that how it’s broken?”

“The buttons won’t go down.”

“That’s because you’re not pressing on the buttons, you’re pressing about two inches above the buttons.” He programs the machine and it starts to rumble to life. When he sees she isn’t completely dressed, he turns away, the one ear she can spot tingeing red. “Those shorts should fit you. A conquest of Liam’s left them behind.”

Looking down at herself, Emma can see that the hem of his shirt covers her ass and, yes, it falls a little high on her thigh, but she’s covered. When she goes to give him a sassy reply, he’s already gone. To appease him, she forces her legs into the gym shorts, grumbling under her breathe the entire time.

Emma heads back to the living room and sprawls her body across the couch. “Where is Liam, anyways?” she asks.

“Last I knew, he was on a date with Ms. Belle French.”

“I knew it.”

Killian replies in surprise. “You know her?”

Shrugging, Emma begins to play with the tips of her hair, curling them around her finger in front of her face. “She hung out with Liam in the hospital when you needed to shower. And Henry reads like I film during the summer. We always gets to know the librarians.” She sighs and nods harshly. “About time. Good for them. Good match.”

“I’d have to agree,” he says, joining her on the sofa. Killian stares at her feet for a moment before deciding to forcibly lift her feet so he can sit. Her heels come to settle on the tops of his thighs. “The lads and I have been trying to get them to agree to dinner for quite some time.”

“That’s nice.” Emma crinkles her nose, overwhelmed by the menial tasks of comprehending Liam’s love life as well as the comforting feel of physical touch.

Naturally - and drunkenly, let’s face it - she decides that’s been enough of that.

“I should probably leave then,” she says. Emma takes her feet from Killian’s lap and struggles to get vertical. Crossing her arms over her chest, she shrugs again, this time much more awkwardly. “Wouldn’t want to intrude of any after-date activities.”

“No.” Following her suit, Killian stands, reaching out to rest his hand on her arm, steadying her. There’s a bit of urgency or something else along the same lines in his voice that surprises her. “He’ll text me if something should occur, though I don’t think it will.”

“Yeah, Belle is a bit of a prude.”

“Emma,” he scolds her sternly. “Watch your tongue. That’s not only my brother’s date, but a friend of mine.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologizes, licking her lips. “I don’t know why I said that. Belle’s super nice.” He’s still touching her, his hand slowly falling down toward her wrist, and it’s a bit distracting. She shakes her head, trying to clear the fog in her mind, regardless of whether it originated from alcohol or tension. “Can we watch a movie or something?” Emma asks, her gaze flicking toward the TV to her right.

He chuckles. “First you show up at my house unannounced, nearly break my dryer, insult my brother’s date, and now you ask if we can watch a movie?”

She shrugs, casually returning to the couch. “I’m not used to being in that big house alone.” Emma lies down again, letting her body span the length of the couch. With one eye squinted, she looks up at Killian. “So can we?”

Killian sighs and takes a seat on the couch once more, lifting her feet up to take their place and setting them gently on his lap. “What genre do you want?” he inquires, stretching out to the coffee table for the remote and turning on the TV. Save for the shift of bending forward, Emma’s feet stay snug on his lap.

“Something funny,” she requests. “Or something with a car chase.”

“How about Hot Fuzz?”

“Never seen it.”

She’s staring at the screen, which automatically scrolls through newly-added titles instead of the quick flicking Killian usually took to. Glancing down the couch from her, Emma sees his eyebrows touch the tips of his bangs. “Then that’s it,” he declares, leaning closer to her. “It’s both funny and has a car chase.”

Emma gasps dramatically, her hand falling on her chest. “Be still my beating heart.”

“You’re going to love it, Swan,” Killian assures her, searching through the menu until he finds it.

After pressing play, he rests his hands on her, one on her foot and the other on ankle. It’s almost domestic, like they’re on a date night in or something, the rain gently pitter-pattering on the windows and the hum of the movie on in the background. The alcohol still buzzes through her veins and gives her an overall sense of contentment. Her eyes begin to droop and she must fall asleep, for the next thing she knows, she is coming to surrounded by fluffy pillows and a luxurious blanket that most certainly aren’t hers.

The beginnings of a hangover headache gently knock on the inside of her forehead. Emma groans and fights her way out of the little cocoon she’d wrapped herself in. Her feet touch hardwood floors and she knows she’s not home.

“Killian,” she grumbles, wiping at the sleep still in her eyes. Her voice is deep and gravelly, so she clears her throat and repeats herself a bit louder.

Her ears perk up at the sound of quick footsteps in the hallway and before she can properly search the room for a weapon against an intruder, the door creaks open and Killian’s face peeks in.

“Everything alright, Swan?” he asks, his voice scratchy as well.

Emma pushes herself off the mattress and walks toward the door while Killian presses it open wider. “Yeah, I was just surprised to wake up not in my bed,” she explains.

“Oh,” he says, his voice and eyes falling a bit. “I thought I heard you call for me.”

“I mean I did,” she admits. “Kind of. I was trying to figure out what was going on with my voice.” His mouth opens slightly in understanding. “How did you hear that?”

“Ah,” Killian says with a smirk. He gestures to the room next door. “I was resting in Liam’s room. For as lavish as this house looks, the walls are deceptively thin.”

Emma nods, glancing about the room. “So this is your bedroom?”

“Yeah.” She hums, taking it in. It’s pretty sparse, but somehow perfectly encapsulates Killian. His window looks over the backyard and the waters beyond. The floor is spotless, his closet doors and drawers closed completely. A few aesthetic pictures - mostly of ships, unsurprisingly - decorate the walls and his dresser has a few shells and what looks like a photograph of the Roger’s crew on display.

(The man lives and breathes the sea.)

A movement catches her eye and she looks at him as he goes to scratch behind his ear. “I figured it’d be bad form for you to be woken if my brother and Belle decided to come in.”

“He’s not home yet?” she asks. “What time is it?”

“Close to two, I think.”

Silence falls between them, Emma hovering by his bed and Killian still standing in the doorway. “I should get home,” she murmurs, searching for her phone and readying herself to cool dampness outside.

“Don’t.” His request startles her, the earnestness and sincerity behind it confusing. She whirls around to face him and, if she’s not mistaken, she detects a hint of a blush on Killian’s cheeks. “You’re still a little inebriated, which means I would have to walk back with you and it’s still raining,” he explains. His hand casually gestures between the two of them before falling to his side. “Besides, you don’t want to be alone.”

Ignoring the army of butterflies that begin fluttering in her stomach - he remembered, she didn’t want to be alone - Emma’s independence roars its head. “I could walk home fine by myself,” she insists.

Killian gives her a side eye and scolds her in a low voice: “Swan.”

They stare each other, mentally willing the opponent to concede. Always up for a challenge, Killian takes a step closer to her, and Emma does the same, until they’re sock-clad to bare feet.

(It’s not fair, her mind tells her. Even when he’s not doing anything, the color of his eyes are distracting.)

“Fine,” Emma finally says on a groan. “I’ll stay here tonight.”

Grinning wide, Killian wraps his arms around her shoulders and pulls her into his body. His warm, sturdy body, a weakness even when she’s completely sober and awake. It’s basically her kryptonite now that she’s coming down from intoxication and a nap.

Emma hears the tell tale sound of the front door opening and closing a floor below them. The heavy fall of male footsteps swiftly follow.

“Looks like Liam’s home,” she remarks quietly, pulling away from Killian’s embrace.

“Indeed,” he murmurs, letting her move freely. He takes a step back, closer to the door. “I’m going to speak with him, but you can go back to bed. I’ll bring you some water.”

She nods absentmindedly before his words really register. “Wait, where are you going to sleep?”

“The couch,” he said, as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. Then he points to himself, a wry smile growing on his face. “Gentleman, remember?”

“Killian, no, I’ll sleep on the couch,” Emma offers, moving toward the bedroom door herself. “I came here unannounced and interrupted your night. Let me sleep on the couch.”

“I won’t have it, Swan.”

Groaning, she throws her hands up in the air, exasperated. “Fine. Then we’ll share your bed.”

“What? That, Swan, sounds like the exact opposite of any sort of solution.”

“No.” Emma, grumpy as she is from being woken from her nap, makes it back to the rumpled sheets of the bed and sits on them, staring intently back at Killian. “You won’t let me sleep on the couch and I demand you sleep in your bed.” She throws her arms wide, gesturing toward the empty side of the mattress. “It’s big enough for the both of us.”

Killian glances over his shoulder quickly before shutting the door. “Of course,” he mumbles, shuffling over the hardwood toward the bed. “Won’t even notice you’re here.”

“Thank you.” Now that he’s settling into his side of the bed, Emma allows herself to bury beneath the covers, barely warm from her earlier snooze. She sighs contently and falls unconscious with the echo of Killian’s constant breathing ringing in her ears.

0000

She’s awoken at a much more reasonable hour by the heat of a heavy weight on her hip. On her hip and across her stomach. It’s not uncomfortable, per se, just unusual. Henry’s not one to cuddle up to her like this. No, her son is very much a child to lay on top of her, just as she positioned him on her chest soon after he was born.

But this weight comes with more hair and muscles than any 11-year-old should have, even if they’re a chronic steroid abuser. As she’s waking up - much faster than she originally thought she would - Emma comes to realize that it’s not Henry.

It’s Killian.

Emma breathes deeply through her nose, a reaction of surprise more than anything. It’s been a long time since she slept - just slept - with anyone who wasn’t Henry. It’s comforting, she finds, coming to with the knowledge that someone else is beside you.

Carefully, she turns about to face Killian, trying her best to keep his arm around her. He’s a lot closer than she expected: her nose skims the tip of his as she establishes herself in her new position.

For a moment, she observes him in what will likely be the last moments of unconsciousness. He’s always been a looker, she won’t deny herself that. But there’s something about him when he’s not putting on an act. He’s not in front of the camera, pulling off the dickish captain, or Liam, acting as the worshipful little brother. There’s lines around his lips that show past laughter and bags under his eyes from endless night at sea and otherwise.

He’s even more handsome like this.

She must unconsciously move some part of her body, for Killian stirs, his eyes blinking away the remnants of sleep slowly. His vision must come into focus because he squints, as if he doesn’t really understand the sight before him.

“I insisted on sharing the bed ‘cause I couldn’t stand the idea of you sleeping on the couch,” she explains quietly, running her hand up his arm. It’s the first question she would’ve asked - what are you doing here? - were she in his situation.

Killian opens his mouth with an ah of comprehension. “I do remember that now,” he says. “Practically dragged me into bed, if I recall.”

“Did not,” she chuckles, squeezing his upper arm. “You’re being dramatic.”

“Perhaps.” His hand tightens at her back as he stretches, chin dipping to his chest and legs extending beneath the sheets. When he settles, his blue eyes connect with hers. “Although you have to understand why I’d think that when I have a lovely woman who forced me here in the first place is wound around me.”

“Hate to break it to you, buddy, but I’m the one who woke up with someone hanging off me.”

He sighs, burrowing his face into her neck. Emma can’t help but giggle.

(She tries not to focus on how nice this feels, the scratch of his scruff on her still sleep-warm skin, the comfort she draws from his breath on the crook of her neck. It’s more than she thinks she can handle.)

Killian keeps his face buried in its spot, his thumb rubbing at the small of her back. She returns the favor, moving her hand up into his hair and echoing the motion. They stay wrapped up in one another for what could be minutes or hours. Emma can’t be sure.

“I don’t think I realized how nice this is,” Emma says softly, trying to extend the moment for as long as possible. At his indistinct questioning noise, she adds, “Just sort of hugging someone. Holding and being held.”

Readjusting to be better heard, Killian asks, “How long has it been since someone held you, Swan?”

Emma shrugs, her voice going deep and hoarse. “I couldn’t even guess.”

“I’m glad I could be of service.” Groaning, Killian extricates himself from her hold, sitting up and scooting back until he sits against the headboard. His arms go up, coming to rest behind his head and Emma feels the loss keenly. “If you should need anything else, I shall strive to be of assistance.”

As silence settles between them, a traitorous thought pops into Emma’s mind. There is one thing he can...assist her with.

(And honestly, the fact that she’s even considering this means something. What exactly, she can’t be sure, but she is sure that in this moment, with him, she feels warm and safe and happy.)

Before she can stop herself, Emma leans forward, cupping his face in her hands. She kisses him, almost attacking him how hard she presses her lips to his. And for one moment, she’s shocked him. It’s a bit like kissing a pillow or a dead fish, something that doesn’t kiss back. For a moment, she regrets even thinking there was any sort of attraction between her and him, even though they’ve done this before. Maybe all those times was just the alcohol talking.

But then Killian’s one hand is tangled in her hair and the other is wrapping around her waist, pulling her closer to him, causing her to straddle his legs. He tugs at her hair to direct her, tilting his head in turn.

“Emma,” he mumbles, his lips leaving hers. “We shouldn’t. You’re-”

“Please,” she whispers, her voice hoarse again. He pulls back a fraction and she shakes her head. “Killian, I swear, I want this. This isn’t alcohol or the moment or whatever or anything. This…” Her laughter fans off his cheek and back to her ears. She’s nearly breathless when she admits, “This is a long time coming.”

Even as close as they are, Emma can still catch the raised brow he sends her. She feels the grin against her own lips. “Are you saying you’re in this for the long haul?” he murmurs back.

She chuckles again. “Let’s start with the one time and reassess from there.”

Killian adjusts her on his lap, pulling her hips closer into his. “Well, if I only get one time, I’m damn well sure going to make it count, love.”

He’s passionate, to say the least. His lips are insistent on the skin of her neck, leaving marks and bruises and making her sigh in pleasure more than she’s ever done in her life. Back with Neal, he’d been more to the point: get her wet enough to get his dick in without hurting her, then getting himself off in as few minutes as possible. Between borrowed rooms and simple selfishness, she’s sure, there was never really time for them to actually enjoy sexual acts.

But this. This makes her toes curl. Feeling his mouth follow as she swallows, his nose brush against the tense tendons of her neck. He bites softly at her collarbone through her shirt and, if she were younger, she’d lose her mind completely.

“Fucking fuck,” she breathes, enjoying the new-old feelings that bubble up in her stomach.

“Finally,” Killian chuckles against her skin, words partially garbled as he moves back to her neck. “A verbal reaction.”

Glancing down as best she can, Emma asks, “Is that what you’re trying to get out of me?” When he doesn’t answer immediately, she grabs at his hair and gently tugs it back to look him in the eye.

“Among other things,” he admits with that smirk of his. “I like to think of verbal responses as the gateway to the rest of your inner thoughts.”

“Trust me, you do not want to be inside of my head.”

“Your head is not the first thing of yours I want to be inside right now.” He cocks his eyebrow, his tongue peeking out from between his lips. “But if it takes me that way, then I’ll gladly take the detour.”

Emma’s laugh turns to breathy moans as his hand falls a little lower and he grabs at her ass. “Fuck, Killian.”

He stops.

“Say it,” he whispers. “Say it again.”

His words catch her off guard. All she’s said is...oh. Oh. “Killian, please,” she groans again, taking joy in the way his breath catches in how his name comes out. She realizes then that, though she’s trying her best, she still doesn’t use his given name too often. To say it in an intimate context as this - she gets it.

(She wonders if he gets the same thrill in the pit of his stomach as she does when the Ms in her name roll off his tongue.)

“Fuck, Emma.” He attacks her anew, pulling at the collar of her shirt to reach still-untouched skin. Her head rolls back on her neck, relishing in the feel of teeth lightly nipping at her collarbone.

“That’s the goal,” she responds belatedly.

He chuckles against her sternum. “My god, Swan, your commentary is both welcomed and unnecessary.”

“How so?” Emma asks, arching her back unconsciously, trying to get closer to him as his nose skims across sensitive skin.

Pressing a kiss to the side of her breast, still tucked away in her bra and shirt from last night, Killian rises up so he’s face to face with her. “I’m a fan of every part of you,” he whispers into her pulse point. “From the snark to the sky high walls I’m knocking down brick by brick.”

A sappy smile crosses Emma’s face. “Stop talking like that, you’ll build them again.”

Killian mimics it, smacking his lips to hers before working his way further down her body. “Then by all means,” he mutters.

She’s got more hickeys in this moment than she’s ever had in her life combined, surely - she can feel at least three blooming on different places on her neck and another with the way he’s mouthing at her skin right now - and she loves it. Killian’s marking her as his, belongs to her, no one else’s but –

“I’m not yours,” she grumbles, her words a little muffled as, together, they quickly disrobe him of his shirt.

“What’s that now?” Killian asks.

“I’m not yours.” She pulls back for a moment to connect their gazes. It’s a bit silly, she’ll realize in the afterglow, because Emma knows that Killian knows her boundaries. But still, it’s important he understands. “I’m my own person. I am me and no one owns me. I’m just sort of…” with a hand on his shoulder, she gestures wildly with the other one, looking for the phrase best suited for the situation, “lending me to you.”

He cocks an eyebrow in question. “I know that, darling,” he answers, his thumb brushing at the underside of her bra. “I never asked or said otherwise.” Killian kisses her gently, lingering but not heating it up. “But I do hope you’d like to ‘lend’ for now at least, maybe longer.”

“One step at a time, Jones,” Emma says with a chuckle. “For now, just kiss me again.”

He does as she wishes, a peck before whispering, “With pleasure.”

His hand may or may not drag up her outer thigh – and her inner thigh for that matter – while she scoots closer to him. And she might grind herself against him unabashedly but she doesn’t care. Killian has done so much for her and she so much for him since moving to Storybrooke and honestly? That shoulder to cry on he and his brother keep telling her about? She’s found it.

She’s found it in him.

He does something weird and oddly pleasant with his tongue, dragging it between her breasts above her shirt and she can’t be having that. Pushing him away gently, she tears her shirt up and over her head until just her bra is left.

“Go hard or go home, right?” she jokingly asks.

“Darling, your words couldn’t be more correct.” He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her hand down to his prominent erection, jutting up between their bodies.

“I feel like we should take care of that,” she quips.

Killian tilts his head to the side, rolling into her tightening grip. “Only if you want to.”

She smiles genuinely. “Are you not going to add ‘because I’m a gentleman’?”

He shrugs. “Didn’t think it was necessary.”

“Well, I think this is the first time it actually fits.”

Killian draws back and rests a hand on his bare chest. “Love, that almost hurts me enough to diminish this.” He gestures down toward where they’re still clothed but connected, her hand still resting on him.

Emma places her hand atop his, and entwines their fingers together. “Alas, not enough completely.” She kisses him with renewed vigor. “I’ll have to assuage you somehow.”

His hand buries itself between her skin and her clothes, gripping at her ass beneath her pants.

(He’s an ass man. Killian Jones is most definitely an ass man.)

“I’ve got a couple of ideas on how to remedy that,” he says with his signature smirk.

Emma returns it happily, her grin growing when his hand pulls her infinitesimally closer. “Oh, please, do tell.”

[lizacstuff]

Anons 7x06

Lots of anons in my inbox, a few under the cut. The tone of most asks is not complimentary towards the season or episode, you have been warned. 

Anonymous said:Seems like there must not be a lot of Regina fans out there, despite the ER making a lot of noise. Demos held steady. 

I wouldn’t count those numbers before they’re hatched.  Sound like the show was preempted in certain markets (Boston, a huge DMA, for one) so the numbers should be adjusted for that when the nationals come out on Monday. Right now OUAT is getting credit for whatever replacement programming the affiliate put in it’s place. 

Anonymous said:I'm seeing that for some areas the episode got pushed back till early Saturday morning. Do they take into account when figuring out the ratings? I'm already seeing ERs complaining about it and saying if the ratings are bad that's the only reason why. 😒

See above. The overnights (today's ratings) include viewership for whatever aired in OUAT’s place.  Monday they should adjust to reflect more accurately how many people watched the actual episode. They are right, though, in it negatively impacting the live numbers. However, it shouldn't really impact the L+3 or L+7 numbers. 

Anonymous said:Is it bad that I laughed outloud when I saw that Regina gave everything Ivy she needed to cast her curse? Just like the time Regina pushed Lily too far and she turned into a dragon and endanger the town? Or the time she told Zelena to go after Hades and change him and refused to listen to anyone's concerns and everyone almost ended up trapped in Hell? I'm surprised the writer's still don't see the pattern like fans do.

Even without malicious intentions, she’s a disaster who ruins everyone’s lives. It’s bizarre that the writers continually follow the pattern, but never have Regina question her own judgement when she’s doing it. Whatever else happens, Regina makes emotional, unilateral decisions that usually end up biting other people in the ass. 

Anonymous said:Why would Regina stop henry for having a tlk with jacinda to break the curse? they don't have chemistry but they have been written as tl, at least make them kiss to destroy this stupid season one for all

Because Ivy did something, that Regina remembers, that will put the people that Regina “loves” in jeopardy if the curse is broken.  We don’t know who is in jeopardy or how. 

Anonymous said:So the reboot it's all Regina's fault? Why am I not surprised? Having Henry all for her and without snowing and captain swan, obviously a villain like her was behind this

Regina isn’t being purposefully villainous, but her stupid choices have landed them in this position.

Anonymous said:So regina thought she never adopted a child and its now forced to live with him not knowing her and can't break the curse?? Also her soulmate still dead and she is away from sb and her "family"&"friends"? Hahahahahaha karma is a beautiful thing!!! So she is alone and miserable and childless? Jefferson, snowing of the early seasons and the whole ef1 is laughing and partying

I suppose she is getting a little bit of karmic retribution, but I wouldn’t consider her knowing Henry is her adult son, and still being close to him even though he doesn't know, as quite the same thing as orphaning Emma and Snowing missing out on raising her or knowing her for 28 years.  

Anonymous said:Its weird since I thought Shoe Believer had an okay start in the beginning. It wasn't anywhere near CS or Snowing but they were still okay. With every episode they just feel more and more dull and forced.

I always thought it was forced, particularly in the pilot, but I thought it might grow as the season progressed. I’m not feeling it.  They are telling us it’s true love, not showing us.  Unlike CS, Snowing or RB where we saw those relationships develop over time, this feels completely unearned, and a TLK would be like  Zades or Red Warrior where it feels like complete out-of-nowhere nonsense.  CS had to go through multiple seasons of trials and tribulations, both proving they would go to the end of the world or time for one another, before the show would even whisper True Love at them.  The writers have lost their mojo when it comes to writing a love story.

Anonymous said:After this weeks episode I'm more thankful than ever that Regina is far away from Captain Swan and everyone in storybrooke. They don't need to suffer the consequences of someone who has failed as a queen and a mayor.

Honestly, it being canon that Regina and Rumple are out of Storybrooke, is the silver lining to S7.  

Anonymous said:I’m kind of confused , since 7x02 I’ve been trying to keep up with show . But I haven’t been paying that much attention ( I usually just put it on the tv while I’m on my computer or something, so it’s really just background noise ) but I do have a question, who is that hag in lady tremaine’s basement thing ? And also ..... can you list the people who are aware that there was a curse / who’s now awake . Cuz I can’t keep up

That’s the witch.  Right now I think the only characters awake are Ivy, Regina, and sometimes Alice when she isn’t on medication.  I could be wrong though, because my ability to stay focused during this show has not been great. 

Anonymous said:I stopped watching s7 after 7x02 but as someone who still watches it/keeps tabs on it do you know if the timeline is explained like now that Lucy is born and is 10 years old does that mean captain swan's child is around that age or is Emma still pregnant cause time moves differently?

They haven’t really answered that question yet as far as I know. My gut is that very little time has passed in Storybrooke and as we speak Captain Swan is preparing for their baby. But that’s my gut, not fact. 

Anonymous said:I'm so mad - this was the last drop for me with this show. I have been watching S7 for Colin (I'm a Nielsen family and my viewing does count for the ratings) but what they had Henry say last night was the last straw. Swan Believer and their amazing dynamic in season 1 was what kept me watching the show (until CS came along ) and to have to see the writers IGNORE what was once the backbone of the original show (Emma/Henry) to prop an abusive mother/son relationship is absolute bullshit.

cont - previous ask about Swan Believer. I feel sorry for Colin and for the cast and crew, but from now on I will not be watching the show anymore. Nothing about it excites me/makes me happy. It feels like a chore. And these writers do NOT deserve to get renewed nor to get anymore chances to ruin their own canon of what was once a beautiful show.

Describing it as a chore is pretty spot on. I understand you wanting to watch for Colin (especially as a Nielsen household) but you gotta do what’s right for you.  That line seemed completely unnecessary. There were a lot of ways they could have had a nice mother/son moment without going there. 

Anonymous said:I just saw a gifset of Regina waking up from the curse. So that's really the reaction she chose to go with? She really hasn't seemed to grasp the subtleties of acting, has she?

No, she has not. However, I have to say that Lana’s acting as Roni in Hyperion Heights this episode was the least of the episode’s problems. 

Anonymous said:Did you see any of Lana's answers to her fans on Twitter? Besides laughing at the idea of her wanting to do a remake of Silence of the Lambs and play Clarice, when she was asked what she's learned from Bex she said that red heads have more fun than blondes. I imagine in this situation you answer these questions quickly and don't contemplate on your answers, but wow did that seem like a dig. And if you look through the comments all of her rabid fans seemed to think so too and were loving it.

I thought a more accurate tweet would have been  “Red heads kiss my ass better than blondes."  ‘Cause Bex has had her lips permanently affixed to her ass for years now, just the way Lana likes it. 

Anonymous said:I'm indifferent about Wish Hook, and I wouldn't mind if his daughter was Alice and they got a storyline together, but they got nowhere in this episode? And going by the promo, the mess of the wish realm strikes again as Wish Hook was realm-traveling apparently. How did a non-wish Rapunzel from a separate realm come across someone who didn't exist until present-day 6x10? This is unexplainable.

Do we know that Rapunzel is from a separate realm and not from the Wish Realm?  It would be unbelievable to think that WishHook left the WISHAU before it was created with EQ’s “wish” in 6x10.  I think looking for any sort of logic or even in-universe fairy tale logic to make sense of anything to do with the WishRealm, including WishHook, is an exercise in futility.

It simply doesn’t make sense, and each episodes they change the rules to accommodate anything they want to do.  Of course I think it’s nonsense, but I’d still rather this and have CS safely tucked away from this ridiculous season, than have them using the real Hook this season.  Because honestly I don’t care about the integrity of the storytelling in S7, I only care about CS. (though that doesn’t stop me from poking fun at it.)

Anonymous said:I honestly was not one bit surprised when Colin said he was still under contract this season, but at the same time I do believe he enjoys playing this character and I'm sure he feels loyal to the show, it has been his big break. But I have to believe with the storylines and the material he's given, if not already, then by the end of filming he'll probably be in the same mind frame as Bobby. 100% only there for a paycheck. I just hope his agent is actively seeking better opportunities for him.

We really don’t know what he’s thinking or feeling, but low ratings have got to affect things on set in some way, so it sucks if he’s in any kind of stressful environment.  Even if it’s just them getting pressured to send out scripted PR tweets for each episode. On the upside, other than 7x02, he’s been in these eps so rarely, that I’d guess he’s not working more than 1-2 days per episode, which probably means a lot of time that he can be home with his family and newborn.  It might be a blessing for them right now. As I said we can’t know, but I just wish the best for him and his future career.

Anonymous said:Was there something wrong with the Rogers' scenes? I thought they were pretty decent, especially his interactions with Alice.

To all my anons wanting to know about Rogers scenes, you’ll have to come off anon if you want to chat about it. 

[tinkdw]

The future - and it is showing us this loud and clear

This episode was amazing. After flailing and basically shouting all day I am so happy and so excited that I joined tumblr - the quality of posts today has been excellent, both humorous and inciteful and I LOVE YOU ALL :)

I hope its ok I’m going to tag a few great posts in this to reference as I don't want to go over stuff other people have already meta-d about so excellently!

This episode, titled the future, seems to me to be Dabb basically telling us what he wants for the next part of the show, the “better way” that he wants to take it.

So here are my main bullet points that I will expand on a little below and link those excellent posts to where relevant:

A. Sam 

Sam is clearly portrayed again, recurrently as the researcher, the “brains” of the operation (before you say ‘Dean is so clever though!’ I’m just pointing out Sam’s love of the scholarly side of things and how this is where he fits). Sam’s endgame must now be to head up the MoL/hunter network in this respect.

B. Sam and Dean 

They work so well as a team here, Sam putting a tracker in Cas’s phone while he’s distracted by Dean, researching v whatever Dean was doing (maybe making a pining mixtape along the lines of “all by myself” and “I miss you” “please come home”, BUT they are shown as different people, with different interests, skills and relationships - with Cas for example, & not codependent. Again hammering this home in this episode. THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS.

C. THE RECURRING AND CONSISTENT NARRATIVE OF DESTIEL.

This whole episode is one big love fest. We went from one ‘wow I can't believe they just did that!’ to the next to the next with hardly enough time for us to catch out breath! WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE?!

OK, so we have :

1. My Romeo & Juliet / Gaze up Trope Balcony Meta.

2. The Mixtape Meta, another EXPLICIT romantic trope by @drsilverfish.

3. The Dean “keep it” parallels, the first one that came to my mind was Arwen (another human+ / eternal being who decided to relinquish immortality couple):

Aragon: this belongs to you. Arwen: keep it, it was a gift… it is mine to give to whom I will, like my heart.

But also all the other ‘gift’ tropes, the standard romantic trope that when a couple breaks up you return the gifts.... I think Cas wasn’t sure he was going to be forgiven, after Dean’s outburst in the war room, so he goes to return the cassette, but Dean does forgive him nearly instantaneously, which actually makes it even worse that he has to steal the colt straight after...

5. The difference between Sastiel and Destiel again emphasised, more and more this season. I don't think I even have to detail this, just, basically the whole episode shows this.

6. This magnificent gifset by @magnificent-winged-beast which shows the difference between Dean’s angst at actually watching the colt get destroyed and the potential killing of Cas...

Slight aside - Performing!Dean. 

This magnificent gifset that shows Dean’s facade coming down, he doesn't even attempt to make it sound less ‘gay’ when he tells Sam that Cas came to his room, played him and took the colt from his secret hiding place under his pillow, he even looks down before he says it like he KNOWS how it is going to sound but says it anyway. 

source: @yourfavoritedirector.

And Sam doesn't even flinch. YES THANK YOU DABB, GLYNN & BERENS!

4. SO...WHY is Dean still doing everything he did for Cas during this episode and still defending him to Sam even though he appeared pissed and Cas repeatedly betrayed him?

Well, in 12x12 Cas said “I love you”, clearly understood by Dean (and Sam to be directed at Dean). There was no real reciprocation though from Dean, other than Dean family-zoning him and Sam’s fantastic “we are doing this for you, Cas”. 

So regarding Dean, Cas is hurt and believes it isn't reciprocated. Now Dean is pissed and still using the WE card at every turn, so what is a celestial being to do? Cas assumes this is the end, that there is no hope, he returns the mixed tape. BUT Dean says no keep it, this is NOT the end. 

Cas understands that this is therefore not the end, but it is complicated. He explains that he wanted to “come back with a win for you.... for myself”. He wants this for Dean and for himself, this is very important, everything he is doing now and in the future is NOT all about Dean, there is his own agency and morality involved here too.

For Cas, when it comes to it, he wants this reciprocation of his love of course, but right now he has bigger fish to fry and really he wants to protect Sam and Dean and save the world. 

Now, going back to the “what the hell is wrong with you man?” followed by an awkward silence.... and where Cas then goes to return the gift. Yes, Cas feels that he has said his piece in 12x12 and is rebuffed, but meanwhile Dean is struggling with what Cas has said and everything else that is going on. He has a lot on his plate, not only Cas but his own personal history, his deep seated issues that he is clearly working on this season (see all the performing!Dean facade crumbling meta going around), his issues around his mother, the BMoL, Lucifer, the nephilim.... I mean that is a lot for an emotionally healthy person let a lone DEAN WINCHESTER.

Dean is trying to say / show how he feels he’s just rubbish at it, but he's getting better!

“We?” “Yes dumbass, WE.” This is his forgiveness. And it is betrayed just moments later. But does this stop him trusting Cas again? NO.

THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT. For their dynamic, to show that they still do ultimately trust each other.

EVEN AFTER EVERYTHING DEAN STILL DEFENDS CAS TO SAM!

Oh, and I just need to add how desperate I am for Sam to turn to Dean soon and just say “No, Dean, this is between you and Cas, stop bringing me into this”. PLEASE I SWEAR I WILL BE GOOD! I mean, how repeated, consistent and out of place it was (I mean, not only to shippers, I think anyone would think it was out of place the way it was portrayed in their personal conversation in Dean’s room) - this has got to be addressed, no?!

 5. A better way

So. What does this mean moving forwards?

Well, firstly, I have moved from being 85% sure Destiel would be endgame to about 95% sure. Lets be real. This episode cements this. Whether you like it or not, it’s happening.

So, what is the better way?

Overall, it seems that Dabb wants to move things forwards. And his key points all season are Free Will, breaking from past repressions and negative influences, moving forwards with what the characters choose and want for their endgame and for sure now endgame Destiel.

I have in the past speculated about quite a lot of stuff, some right and some... still to be seen and some not right, but the overall arc speculation that I saw foreshadowed since early season 12 is RIGHT ON TRACK.

Now, the question is will Dabb go backwards and go to the old, standard SPN ways where probably Dean and Cas will be separated, Cas will be wrong again in his trust in the nephilim - it WILL be evil (rehash of s6 and s8) and he will need to be ‘broken’ from the mind control by Dean in a stronger crypt scene etc etc etc.

Or will he move forwards, onto a “better way”? Will we get another s11 ‘happy ending’? Where it appears all good but there is still stuff going on behind the scenes for s13... Or maybe a not so happy ending but that ultimately will be resolved happily? 

Maybe the baby has it’s grace removed (so glad this is an option it was driving me insane that they hadn't mentioned it by now!) OR it’s not evil at all! it’s the ANTI-anti-Christ, it chose Cas because he is Lucifer’s mirror in that he LOVES Humanity. I mean, the whole point of the show is agency, free will and not being forced to follow the result of your parentage / past ....especially this season with Sam and Dean’s arcs....

Maybe human!Cas, potential hunter Daddies, Cas staying at home calling Dean while he's out on MOTW hunts with Sam being all “Dean there’s poop everywhere, I’m sorry it got on your favourite shirt, but please please come home this is so hard!” “OK babe, don't worry, we’ll be back tomorrow, the case was a milk run!” when actually Dean nearly died and Sammy saved the day and.... etc because really? what are we supposed to think from that motel scene? With Cas smiling all cute and using the world “righteous” when talking about the kids future guardian?! (and Kelly survives if we are going to be extra nice).

Maybe Lucifer will die / be dealt with and it is the MoL that are the big bad next year.....aiding the overall future arc of TFW as leaders of the MoL/Hunter collaboration (Chuck I hope so).

Or will it be a mix of the two?

Well my money is on that it will be a mix....  

DABB IS SHOWING US THE FUTURE Y’ALL. AND THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT.

[karadavers]

(1) I wonder sometimes if I would have shipped S*prc*rp if my first experience with the ship hadn't been the shippers. I loved S1 but I was leery about investing in the show after they dropped Karolsen so suddenly (I didn't know at the time the CW had picked it up) but when I saw gifs of Karamel I decided to get back into it. But when I went into the Karamel tag there was so much hate primarily from those shippers. It almost kept me from watching the show again...

Anonymous said:(2) I have a lot of LGBT ships and this may have ended up being one of them but... even though I know that a lot of them are really lovely people that first contact left a bad taste in my mouth and I can't help but associate that feeling - the uncomfortable/shocked/angry feeling - with the ship itself. It makes me sad to know that it's had that much power over me but I just can't help it. Sorry to dump this on you, you just seem really nice and understanding and it's been bothering me lately ://

--------------

You are welcome to vent whenever you need, love, and I understand you completely! Sometimes a fandom can really change your perspective and feelings about a ship. My experience is actually very very close to yours and this is actually the third time that I stopped shipping something because of the fandom. I just can’t function in hostile environments. And you don’t need to feel guilty about it. You can’t control the way you feel and the response you have to something that upsets you. 

Let me share the story of how I started shipping Karamel for those who don’t know. I was a Supercat/Karolsen shipper in Season 1. When season 2 started and they handled the breakup in such a messy way and it was said that Calista was leaving, I didn’t feel compelled to watch anymore and I stopped for some weeks. But then I started seeing Sanvers on my dash and I was really interested again and got caught up. I didn’t really care about Karamel or S*percorp at first to be honest. I was so interested in Alex’s coming out and, and as a member of the LGBT community, it really struck a chord with me. It was so special and the storyline was written so beautifully that I didn’t pay much attention to the rest (which is why I’ve been rewatching the first episodes). But I started shipping S*percorp as well, mostly because most of my mutuals were S*percorpers. It’s not like I was ever opposed to Karamel though. I just didn’t care much about their relationship. But then a lot of people (not all of them though, I still have friends who ship s*percorp) and their tag were really negative and it started stressing me out. It was after watching episode 7 though, that I started lowkey shipping Karamel because that “is kara mated to someone?” scene was sweet. But I kept quiet about it. And then they kissed and the chemistry was off the charts but all hell broke loose. My dash was a shitstorm lmao and it really left a sour taste in my mouth. I tried not to ship Karamel so I wouldn't lose the friendships I had with my mutuals who hated them but I also started following people who shipped it and the fandom seemed really sweet and cute. So I slowly started being a little more vocal about it. And I gotta say it was the fandom that made me ship them so hardcore because I only began making gifsets for them and participating actively in the fandom like weeks after the first kiss. Some mutuals/friends stopped talking to me and unfollowed me after I started shipping Karamel which is ridiculous but it was worth it because I’ve met so many lovely people. I’ve been making gifs for the Supergirl fandom for a long time but since I started making edits for Karamel, I’ve felt really appreciated for the first time because the fandom is amazing. I’ve never had so many people interacting with me and telling me lovely things like I do now. 

Ok this got a little long but it’s so that you understand that you’re not alone. I feel like a lot of people have gone through the same thing. 

[geneslovee]

How are you? I hope you're doing well. Trying to distract myself because a family member died, so let me ask you a question...When did you get into spiderman stuff? I got say following you has been very educational for my shopping brain and it has also been very educational, period, so thanks for that.

oh no i'm so sorry :( i know how hard a loss like that can be and im happy to be a distraction for you!

i got into spiderman when i was 15, right when spider-man: homecoming came out! that's when i got into anything marvel related really, and that's why i think my current interests in all things marvel mostly have to do with spider man one way or another, from the characters that i like to the movies that are my favourite. i've branched out since then though and gained an appreciation for comics! initially i was really drawn to spider-man/peter parker because hey, he's an awkward teenager - i'm an awkward teenager! i related to him a whole lot and i still do, just maybe not as intensely. then, from mcu spidey my love kinda branched out to other versions of peter parker and spider-man, or woman, or pig -- i just love all spider-people so much. and also marvel with its brightness and silliness and campy costumes just turned out to be something that my brightness-silliness-camp-loving gay little brain really easily latched onto. im well aware of the negative aspects marvel has though and i try to consume everything i do critically <3 mostly i just wanna have fun

and oh man educational?? that's nice!! im kind of surprised though, but a good kind of surprised. im happy you enjoy my silly little blog where i dump my art and reblog tiktoks and gifsets!!! what is there to live for other than spread joy

thanks for sending me your ask! sorry for quite a ramble lmao i get very excited when i receive asks. im sending you and your family immense amounts of love. grief is tough but you will get through this, like i did and many others too. don't be afraid to feel those emotions now, they become easier to live with as time goes

[socialriotbitch]

Tagged by @dvasing​ (so sorry I didn’t see this sooner I swear I wasn’t ignoring you I just haven’t checked my notifications lately ahhhhhhh. Thank you!!)

Rules: You must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

YOUR LAST: 1. Drink: milk 2. Phone call: my mother 3. Text message: a friend 4. Song you listened to: the GazettE - Hedoro 5. Time you cried: yesterday I got emotional about aoi

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. Dated someone twice: I’ve dated someone thrice don’t ask it was a weird thing 7. Been cheated on: I don’t think so, but I’m polyamorous so my definition of cheating is very different from most people’s 8. Kissed someone and regretted it: sudden flashbacks to when I thought I was into guys. hahahahhahahha good times 9. Lost someone special: lost how? as in they died? as in we’re no longer close? 10. Been depressed: at some point chronically 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: I’ve never actually been drunk

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12. black 13. red 14. blue

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeah 16. Fallen out of love: this raises the question: have I been in love in the last year? idfk 17. Laughed until you cried: yeah 18. Found out someone was talking about you: just talking? not specifically in a negative way? I guess 19. Met someone who changed you: hmmm nah 20. Found out who your true friends are: hmmm nah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I don’t have facebook

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: see question 21 23. Do you have any pets: currently a dog 24. Do you want to change your name: yep 25. What did you do for your last birthday: ate sushi and went to work 26. What time did you wake up: first time around 7:30, then I slept until noon 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: writing fanfiction and listening to music 28. Name something you cannot wait for: the GazettE’s next album (jk I will wait like a good minion) 29. When was the last time you saw your mother: half an hour ago 30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wanna stop being so damn lazy 31. What are you listening to right now: nothing actually, I have a headache 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yeah 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people, constantly, always 34. Most visited website: youtube or ao3 35. Elementary: done 36. High School: dropped out 37. College: nah 38. Hair color: brown 39. Long or short hair: medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: so many 41. What do you like about yourself: everything, I mean what’s not to like? I really love my writing, my body, and my positivity though 42. Piercings: ears, bridge, snakebite (singular) 43. Blood type: dude I don’t know. if I was allowed to donate blood maybe I would know sob 44. Nickname: Ellie 45. Relationship status: open/polyamorous 46. Zodiac sign: western: taurus, chinese: fire ox 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV show: hooooOOOOO boy. there are many. generally everything I’ve reblogged more than one gifset of, okay 49. Tattoos: I’m too poor, but when I get money I’m gonna get hella inked 50. Right- or left-handed: right

FIRST: 51. Surgery: never had any 52. Piercing: my ears 54. Sport: karate 55. Vacation: oh man I was in thailand when I was like half a year old does that count 56. Pair of trainers: like I would remember

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: chocolate 58. Drinking: I have a water bottle but 59. I’m about to: write some more fanfiction 61. Waiting for: a reply to this text 62. Want: another girlfriend (sapphic poly dom chicks hmu) 63. Get married: don’t want to 64. Career: I wish I could be an author and live off writing but I’d need to stop procrastinating my writing so much (case point: I’m on tumblr right now) 65. Hugs or kisses: both!!!! 66. Lips or eyes: hmmmmmmmboth 67. Shorter or taller: I prefer shorter people tbh 68. Older or younger: older 69. Light or dark eyes: dark 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: what do you mean by nice? like to my tastes? I want everything to be to my tastes (but am also cool with that not being the case) 71. Sensitive or loud: loud. hella loud. 72. Hookup or relationship: both are good in different situations I think 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: a bit of both, I don’t wanna hurt people who don’t deserve to be hurt, but I ignore a lot of rules/norms simply out of spite soooo

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: haha yeah 75. Drank hard liquor: no 76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: my eyesight is a perfect 20/20 but I once lost my colour contact at a convention 77. Turned someone down: yeah 78. Sex on first date: SADLY NO (also dating culture isn’t a thing where I come from, so I don’t even know if I’ve been on a first date because I haven’t gone on a “date” with someone I wasn’t already in a relationship with, you see) 79. Broken someone’s heart: yeah 80. Had your heart broken: see so once upon a time Reita didn’t tweet me back and I cried (liek if u also cried) 81. Been arrested: no 82. Cried when someone died: yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: YEAH 85. Miracles: no 86. Love at first sight: ehhhhhhh maybe 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss on the first date: again what the fuck is a first date? just do what you want to my pal kiss all the people you want whenever you want (so long as they also want it that’s the rule) 89. Angels: no

OTHER: 90. Current best friend’s name: In no specific order: Teck and Kaia 91. Eye color: green/brown 92. Favourite movie: I don’t know about favourite but I’ve watched the LotR trilogy about 15 times so (and TH about 8)

I tag: @galaxy-alec @teckuilla and any of my mutuals who want to (just pretend I tagged you)