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everlastingdreams · 8 months

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The Weeping Monk x Reader : Born In The Dawn Chapter 38

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Story Summary:��Locked inside a dark room in a dungeon, kept alive only for your power, you believed you’d never see the daylight again. That is until the Weeping Monk finds his way down and steals you from your captors. It is the beginning of a journey that leads you through hardship and newfound hope, but nothing is assured in a world that is changing for the Fey. The magic that runs in your veins is drawing out the worst the world has to offer, does it include the man who pulled you from the dark?

Chapter Title: Dum Spiro Spero

Notes: /

Warnings: Grief. Violence. Torture. Sexual Assault. Rape Threat. Gore. Enemies To Lovers. Pining. Trauma. Flagellation. Manipulation. Strong Language. Blood. Gore?. Misogyny. PTSD. !!!Spicy and smut parts!!!. Slight redemption arc.

Other warnings: Jealousy. Forbidden Love. Romance. Slow-burn…

Word count of this fic: +220K

Chapter: 38/41

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You had heard the commotion coming from the dining hall whilst walking past it with Mirena. She bursted into the room, knowing that that tone of Helio would lead to trouble. Helio took a step back upon seeing the look his wife had given him. Your heart dropped at the sight of Lancelot with a sword to his throat and a crack in his bloodied lip.

Something just snapped inside, you had drawn your sword and charged at the knights without warning. Some of them stepped back at the incoming storm, few others barely managed to draw their sword to defend themselves. The knights were forced back by your rage.

You raised your sword at them after managing to fight them away from Lancelot. “STAY BACK!”

Lancelot rose from the ground, not even he believed he could calm you now. Ser Florent discreetly signaled for them to listen to the warning.

Helio was appalled by it. “You let him into your bed!”

Mirena was stunned by the information, which told she had not known of it beforehand. “Helio-”

You weren’t happy at all that this had to be said in front of a bunch of knights, and both your parents on top of that. “That is none of your concern! How can you say this in front of everyone?!”

Helio pointed at you in accusation, “How could you?!” Then at Lancelot, “With him?!”

“How could I?!” You scoffed and let it all out, “He was there for me when no one else was! When I was convinced that my own father had turned his back on me! He was there for me when I was rotting away in a dungeon not once, but twice! He was there when paladins tried to defile me!”

The silence that fell was heavy like stone.

“Where were you?” It was your disappointment breaking through.

Helio could not meet your eyes, he could not even meet your mother’s.

“Father… I…” Your throat hurt from how tight it felt. “I am not asking for your blessing, only that you understand. I love him.”

“This… infatuation will pass.” His voice had gone cold. He gave the order to the knights, “Take him to the dungeons, he knew the consequences.”

The knights looked reluctant, pitying you, you hated to see it.

“Don’t touch him!” You snarled at Ser. Baron as he got closer.

The older knight gave Ser Florent a look, it warned you of what was to come.

Lancelot never drew his sword or resisted his sentencing, he surrendered to the mercy of Helio.

Ser. Baron grabbed your arm as you swung at him with your sword, the boar of a man tossed you forward towards Ser Florent and away from Lancelot. You knew they were trying to get you away from the Ash Man, and when Ser Florent did not listen to your warning, you lunged at his arm.

Ser Florent was skilled enough to block your attack as he tried to grab you. You must have nicked some part of him because there was blood on your sword. Seconds later you were on the ground and he was kneeling behind you, arms locked firm around your chest to keep you under control and on the ground as the other knights grabbed Lancelot and led him out of the dining hall.

“Let me go!” You snarled at the knight, who was quietly apologizing to you, and you saw that his hand was bleeding.

“Let them take him. At least he is alive.” Ser Florent tried to reason.

You jerked your head back and it hit him in the face, stubbornly he tried to hold on until you bend his index finger back and his hold faltered.

It was Mirena who stepped into your path, and grabbed you by the shoulders. “Enough!”

She was the only one in that moment who could have tamed some of the fury you felt. Ser Florent slowly reached for your arm and your glare made him reconsider.

You pleaded with her. “You cannot let father imprison him! Please!”

Mirena turned to Ser Florent. “Take my daughter to the courtyard to calm down. Let me speak to my husband alone.”

“There is nothing to discuss.” Helio sternly said.

Mirena gave him a certain look that told him he was in trouble for daring to say it. Ser Florent took you by the arm to lead you outside, but you ripped your arm free and walked to the courtyard yourself.

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After waiting in the courtyard for a while, and hearing Helio’s thundering voice from afar, the decision was made. It was Matthew, of all people, who was send to share the news with Ser Florent, who then told you. Lancelot was send to the dungeons and was to remain there indefinitely.

After cooling your fury on one of the straw men meant for practice, you wished to head inside to speak to your parents again. Ser Florent remained at your side, wary of the sword that hadn’t left your hands. Mirena came to meet you, aware that the news must have reached you by now. She send the knight away to talk to you alone.

You tried to speak, “Mother-”

“Why did you not tell me?” She sounded quite disappointed.

“I’m sorry. But you see how father is reacting now that he knows.” You stammered less confident.

Mirena felt like she had failed. “I am not your father. To know that my daughter is not telling me something such as this, is gravely upsetting to me.”

You crossed your arms over your chest. “Neither of you want me to be happy with Lancelot. Because you don’t know him the way I do. He’s not the Weeping Monk anymore, mother, that part of him died the night he saved Squirrel and I.”

Mirena was watching you, seeing how you tried to explain how this had all come to be.

“He’s kind, and annoying. Loyal and stubborn. I feel heard by him.” You sighed. “I know he’d never betray me, nor our people, I wish you and father could see that.”

“I do believe you. For this to have grown from your bond does not surprise me.” She admitted in a sigh. “But your father is as stubborn as they come. And for him to have learned that the Ash Man and you…”

She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

You didn’t expect her to react this way, “Are you saying you have no objection to what is between Lancelot and I?”

“As a mother, I only wish for my child to be happy and safe. I know the Ash Man can provide both happiness and safety for you. But his past will always be in his shadow, Little Moon. And after Soran, your father is more than wary when it comes to those who have served the Church.”

It was a relief that she had grown to see past Lancelot’s past as the Weeping Monk. You shook your head a little. “He is nothing like Soran. Father has to see that some day.”

Mirena hoped for your patience. “Let him calm down today, y/n. He is in shock over this.”

You gave a bitter smile. “In the meantime, Lancelot is in the cold dungeons.”

She gave some valuable advice, “He is alive. And Helio has forgotten to order the knights that the Ash Man may not receive visitors.”

So you could visit him… perhaps even help.

“Go after sunset.” She said upon seeing the hope emerge in your eyes.

You gave a nod. “Mother, if Lancelot is condemned to spend his life in a dungeon I will not stand for it. If he is to be treated like this for the rest of his days here, I will leave the fort with him and find us a place where we can be together without others trying to keep us apart.”

She was greatly saddened, “You would live somewhere else?”

It hurt to tell the truth, but it was necessary. “I see my future with him. In all truth, I don’t see how to live without him anymore. I would choose to live in a cave over living here and us being shunned.”

Mirena wanted that idea out of your head. “I will not force my daughter to live in a cave. I shall speak to your father come morrow. Promise me you will give me the time to try and change his mind? Do not flee in the night again.”

A pang of guilt settled in you, you hadn’t forgotten how hurt she had been when you’d left. “I will not leave without telling you ‘goodbye’ again.”

She came closer and cupped that stubborn head on your shoulders, she pressed a kiss to your forehead before giving a stern look. “Never again.”

You meekly nodded and watched her walk away.

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The day went by dreadfully slow. Of course the one having to explain why Lancelot was in the dungeons again, to Squirrel and Ciro, was you. You left out the details, and told them it was because the two of you had fallen in love and it was prohibited by Helio. The three of you were lying on the floor of their room, feet pointing at the walls, heads to each other.

“That’s stupid!” Squirrel angrily exclaimed.

You could only agree. “It is.”

“That she loves him?” Ciro asked Squirrel confused.

Squirrel almost rolled his eyes. “It’s stupid that Helio tossed Lancelot in the dungeon, just because they like each other.”

“Did you kiss him?” Ciro nosily asked you.

“Yuck.” Squirrel scrunched his nose.

Great. Your cousin would try to pry a ton of answers out.

“Sometimes.” You kept it vague.

Squirrel sounded skeptical and maybe even a little disgusted, “With Lancelot?”

You turned your head, and squinted your eyes at the bold child. “Yes.”

Squirrel looked at the ceiling again, “Ugh. Didn’t you used to hate him?”

It made you wince, your past self would slap you for even insinuating what would eventually happen. “We weren’t friendly…”

The cheeky boy arched a brow at you, you kept your eyes fixed on the ceiling

“Will he be free again?” Squirrel asked.

“He will. Even if I have to get him out of there myself.” You swore it.

“Did Uncle really shoot at him with the crossbow?” Ciro sounded a bit too enthusiastic.

You had to hear from Ser Florent afterwards how quick it had all escalated. “He did. And he missed. So, the lesson to be learned from that is to not act out of anger.”

“Or aim better.” Squirrel chimed in and grinned.

This child…

You got up on your feet and brushed some dust off the back of your trousers, “Speaking of lessons, how is your reading faring?”

“Good.” Ciro said, having read his fifth book in less than a month.

Squirrel shrugged his shoulders and mumbled, “Fine…”

You knelt down next to Squirrel. “Don’t be worried if you’re learning slow. I am proud of you already for wanting to learn. Reading or not, you’re a clever boy, Squirrel.”

A little pair of blue skies looked up at you, the smile that formed matched them like the sun.

“I can always read the books for you.” Ciro offered, hoping for someone to share his favorite books with.

Squirrel did like that idea.

You looked out the window and saw the sky begin to darken. “I believe you two will be expected for dinner soon. Come on, up you go.”

You helped them both stand up from the ground and beckoned for them to walk with you. Whilst walking them to the dinning hall, where Mirena would be waiting, you brushed the dust away from their vests.

She was already awaiting them and ushered them inside before whispering to you, “Go now. Helio is eating and only Ser Florent is down by the dungeon now.”

You thanked her, grateful for her understanding. She didn’t need to tell you twice, you headed to the dungeons now that the fall’s early evening had arrived to offer the discretion that was needed.

Ser Florent was sitting on the floor next to the door that led down into the dungeons. He saw you coming and didn’t look surprised at all.

You stopped at his feet. “I’m here to see him.”

He looked up at you, “Does your father know you are here?”

“No.” You coolly said. “I’m sorry about your hand.”

He looked at it again, having covered it with a rag. “At least you did not take it off.”

You looked at the door again and saw that it was locked.

The knight searched his pocket, then held up the key to the door. “Leave it on the door when you go in.”

You took the key from his fingers and opened the door, stopping to ask, “Who told my father?”

Ser Florent gave you the truth. “Just a woman who was concerned for your safety when she saw the former Weeping Monk leave your room at the crack of dawn.”

It was a plausible explanation, anyone would be a bit worried if they saw someone acting suspicious in a fort still cloaked by the passing night.

“Do you have the key of his cell?” You tried.

“I do not.” He gave you a warning look.

You proceeded to the dungeons before he’d change his mind on letting you see Lancelot.

It was colder than you remembered down in the dungeons, it must be terrible in the winter to reside. He was in the very last cell, sitting against the wall near the bars.

You dropped to your knees, taking hold of the cold iron bars that seperated you from him. “Lancelot.”

The scent had warned him of your presence beforehand. The little light of a torch on the wall nearby offered him some sight of your facial features.

He changed to a kneeling position and put his hand over one you had on a bar, even such a small action caused your heart to swell. The blood on his lip had dried and sealed the wound shut. Your eyes glowed green as you let your magic heal him. He was too late to draw back his hand, his lip had already healed, and when you reached out and cupped his cheek he stilled instantly.

“I am so sorry.” You felt your throat tighten. “This isn’t right. I will find a way to get you out of this cell.”

He pulled back and reached for the sheath of his sword, he picked something off of it and it glistened in the dim light as he held it up for you to see.

The hairpin he had kept on himself ever since escaping the Brotherhood…

He had not even tried to free himself?

“No more running.” He was looking at the thin metal. “I have accepted this place and it’s people as my home. I will not escape and flee when my heart is at rest.”

It sounded like he was accepting this situation. “Fight for us.” You begged him, “I swear I will never stop fighting for you.”

You were trying to control your breathing, pressing your eyes shut to calm down. He reached through the bars and took your hand, turning it palm up, it was the tingling sensation that made your eyes open again. Small, green sparks of fire were dancing on your palm. His own hand was glowing again, the leaf pattern came to life. If it was his intention to distract you, it sure had worked.

“It doesn’t hurt me…”

“Of course not.”

These flames were born from him, from who he was, they obeyed to his will. And they stopped at his command again. His hand curled around yours, letting the sparks disappear. “We are together, you and the boy are safe. Helio will not keep me here forever, I do not believe the man to be so cruel as he wishes to seem.”

Your anger towards your father broke through. “He has no right to try and control who I want to be with.”

“He wants to keep you safe.” Lancelot reasoned.

The tears broke through, your voice broke, “By trying to kill the man I love? By forcing you into the same darkness I escaped from? He’s not keeping me safe, he’s hurting me.”

Lancelot hushed you when you began to cry. “Go back to the warmth of the castle.”

And leave him there alone? Not a chance.

“I won’t leave you in this darkness alone.” The light from the torches was too far away to even reach his cell.

His tone got firmer. “Y/n.”

Yours matched it. “No.”

You turned and sat with your back against the bars. “I’m staying. They’ll have to drag me out if they want me to leave.”

There was a moment of silence, then you felt his hand caress the side of your neck. He felt so close and yet so far.

He sounded sorrowful, “I do not want harm to come to you.”

You looked over your shoulder and saw him sit down against the bars with his side, trying to get an arm around you. You adjusted, sitting side by side with him, the bars forming a frustrating barrier.

Your head leanest against the iron, your fingers curled into his sleeve. “I’m the one who’ll harm them if they try.”

He settled on stroking along your arm, it was more comfortable.

“I wish my father could see into my heart and understand why I fell for you. He just never listens to me, I-” Your voice broke again, “I was kept imprisoned for so long, and now my father will not let me free either.”

Lancelot withdrew his hand and moved a little. “Y/n-”

You were too upset to listen. “I know what you’re going to say. He wants to ‘protect’ me, to keep me ‘safe’. But he never cares about how it makes me feel when he tries to control me. I am so, so, tired of being controlled by others. I thought that was over when we escaped the Brotherhood and the paladins. And now I’m sitting in a dungeon again, after being forced to live in one in darkness for months, all because my father does not care that it is haunting my dreams.”

Lancelot moved away from you and got up from the ground. “He heard you.”

You frowned and looked up at him.

“Y/n.” Helio’s voice came from behind you.

You were on your feet within the second. “Father-”

Helio was looking at you, at the tears that stained your cheeks and the look of a deer facing a hunter. Lancelot held his breath, not ready to see you be dragged out of that place.

And when the Dawn Man looked at him, he did not see the same rage he had seen that morning.

“I had two sisters.” Helio began as he stepped closer. “One who fell for one of our own, and one who fell for a man who I learned was of the Brotherhood. Naia was used for her healing by him, by the Brotherhood, until she succumbed to the weakness it caused.”

Your gaze dropped to the floor, finally understanding why he had reacted the way he did.

Helio spoke to Lancelot. “He told her he loved her, and she believed him. Then he got her imprisoned until her death. I was locked away in the same place as her after I had tried to save her, I met Mirena in that time. He was the first of the Brotherhood to fall at my blade.”

“You never told me…” You said, you knew there had been two aunts, but never that one had been tricked like this.

Helio put a hand on your shoulder. “I failed to save her, failed to protect her against him. She gave him her heart and he led her to her death. I cannot stand the thought that history might repeat itself.”

You sensed the pain it had brought him to lose a sister in such a cruel way. With slow steps you closed the distance and embraced him, the anger inside turned into understanding.

“But you are not Naia.” Helio returned the embrace, sighing. “You are my clever daughter. I need to trust that you would know what to do if you would ever be betrayed. After all, I thought you how to fight.” He let go off you and walked past you to Lancelot. “You are by far the worst monk I have encountered in my life. Fled the clergy, fell for those they consider sinners and broke the vow.”

The Ash Man didn’t know what to say, it’s not like Helio was wrong about it all.

“Father-” You sighed.

He continued, ignoring your protest, “A terrible monk, but perhaps a good man.”

Your expression changed instantly, as did Lancelot’s, both struck by disbelief.

Of course Helio was not that quick to forget the audacity the Ash Man had shown. “Good man or not, if you harm my daughter I shall make you experience the same suffering the Brother felt upon dying.”

Lancelot took the warning to heart. “If I ever am foolish enough to harm her, I will hand you my own sword to use.”

Helio would remember that vow, from the pocket of his vest he pulled the metal ring with keys to the cells on it. You couldn’t believe your eyes when your father proceeded to unlock the cell and let Lancelot out.

Helio explained to him, “I care about my child’s heart enough to give you a chance to protect it. Do not make me regret it.”

Lancelot stepped out of the cell, feeling much smaller then he was in front of the man, “Could I have my swords returned to me?”

You actually winced at the ill-timed question.

Helio’s eyes became like steel. “Be glad I am letting you keep your head. I will think about the swords.”

He looked Lancelot up and down with a slight hint of irritation. “Go to your quarters. Consider the lack of a meal part of your punishment, you have clenched your other appetite instead.”

Your arms crossed over your chest, knowing what he was referring to and feeling quite embarrassed, “Are you going to deny me my meal too?”

Helio turned at the slight arrogant tone. “I would, but your mother would gift me a headache. Go eat.”

You didn’t move, sensing he was sending you away to speak to Lancelot alone. One look from the Ash Man convinced you to go up to the dining hall.

“Please, don’t hurt him.” You said to Helio.

He gave a nod and waved his hand, ushering you to go. With reluctance you left the dungeons, and highly curious to learn what was going to be said down there.

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Breakfast in the dining hall felt quite uncomfortable the next morning. Neither you nor Lancelot had visited each other last night, perhaps a wise decision. The knights who had been present at Helio’s outburst were trying not to stare in your, or Lancelot’s, direction too often, it was still plenty enough to notice them doing so.

The Ash Man sat almost at the end of a table at the other side of the room from where you were, quietly drinking some soup whilst stealing glances with you every time that bowl lifted to his mouth. What had been said between Helio and him last night? Threats and warnings? Or had it been a genuine conversation? No injuries were visible on him, that was a relief, and he had gotten his swords back as well.

You felt another pair of eyes on you and looked around to see your mother watching you watching him. She shook her head a little, a small smile forming at the corners of her mouth. She would have scolded you for staring at him so much. You fixed your attention on the soup in front of you, before Squirrel who sat beside you would think you were done with it and try to slide it over to himself to eat. In the meantime, Helio never lifted his eyes up from his meal, as if he had stopped caring who was looking at who.

“Ash Man.” He suddenly called out and almost everyone in the room fell silent, “You are traveling with the knights to the chapel today.”

Lancelot appeared a little taken aback, “I am?”

Helio finally looked up from his soup and at him. “You came up with the plan. See to it that it goes as envisioned.”

Ser Florent gave a discreet nod in the Ash Man’s direction.

Lancelot cleared his throat. “Of course.”

If not for last night’s conversation, he would have believed it to be a trap. To be send along with the knights after all that had happened yesterday…

After breakfast, when they headed to the stables, you hurried after the knights.

“Ser Florent?” You called out for him, he turned to look at you. “I am coming along as well.”

Matthew saw it happen, “Can’t you go without the Ash Man for one moment?”

It was a snide comment, your mood turned to ice. The other knights heard his blatant attempt to embarrass you in front of them, even Lancelot had heard it be said. Had he gotten so bitter? Was he always like this with others?

Ser Florent granted him not a single look. “Be quiet, Matthew.”

You followed his example and ignored Matthew.

“It’s alright by me if you want to come along. Will you do me the honor of riding beside me?” Ser Florent asked.

“I’d love to.” You knew he was asking it so he could keep Matthew and you apart.

But by the looks of it, Lancelot might have suspected something else. You walked away from the staring knights and proceeded to the stables ahead of them. Some of them gawked at you for so long that you wondered why they didn’t just make a sketch of you if they wanted to stare. Even if it was not being said aloud, you could still sense the silent gossip that must be happening between them and in the fort. It bothered you that your relationship with Lancelot was undoubtedly the subject.

You readied Aella‘s saddle and were halfway done when they entered the stables as well.

Ser Florent came over, pretending to inspect the stirrup whilst whispering to you, “It will get better.”

You hoped so, because this wasn’t fun at all. “I hate to be looked at like I committed a crime.”

The knight consoled you. “You did nothing wrong. I think they are just enjoying the spectacle that comes with the connection between you and the Ash Man.”

It sounded plausible. “Ugh.”

He smiled. “It will pass, something else will come along and pull their attention.”

You gave a grateful smile back at him, and he went to fetch his horse. Just when you wanted to lift yourself into the saddle, you felt a little tug at your jacket.

Lancelot was at your side, looking somewhat concerned, “You are riding beside him?”

You sighed a little. “Only so I don’t have to hear another snide remark from Matthew.”

He could feel the stares of the others in his direction, it felt almost suffocating.

He was visibly bothered that it would cause you to keep a distance from him over it, “Since when do you listen to childish comments?”

It was not meant to be confronting, he was only concerned.

You lowered your voice so others wouldn’t hear. “I still hear them, Lancelot. And sometimes they do hurt, even if I don’t show it.”

You put your hand on the horn of the saddle to pull yourself up.

He placed a hand over the one you had there, fully aware that the knights were seeing it happen. “I am sorry.”

You nodded. “It’s fine. It’s just been a lot to live through lately.”

Ser Florent was leading his horse through the stables. “It is time to go.”

Lancelot did not move his eyes from your face, it should have warned you for what was to happen. By the time you had read his eyes, he had already leaned in to kiss your temple. It was a quick peck, but all who were present in the stables had seen it and shared looks amongst one another. That sneaky twit walked over to Goliath, ignoring the stares aimed at him. You took a second to compose yourself, then hoisted yourself into the saddle.

As agreed, you rode beside Ser Florent. At some point, on your way down the hill, you had asked him what his lady-friend was like. And gods, he described her in such great detail that it lasted until you reached the village. Red hair, the smile of a goddess, and the heart of a lover. The knight had not a bad word to say about her, the lovestruck look in his eyes as he spoke of her was evident. None of the other knights said a word against his infatuated rambling, they knew better than to try and tell him to stop. It was actually making your day better to hear him speak so full of love and joy, minutes had passed before you realized you had been smiling the whole time. He was so unashamedly proud to love her. As it should be. You looked back at Lancelot, who rode not far behind the two of you and who was watching the enamored knight speak so enthusiastically. In time, it would be as it should be, for you and for him.

“I would love to meet her.” You interrupted the rambling knight.

He was enthusiastic immediately, “You would?”

After all the praise he’d given, it should have been obvious. “Of course!”

It was like you were one of the only people who had listened to him speaking about her. “I’ll bring her to the fort.”

You would not dampen that excitement. “Excellent.”

You reached over and touched the hand he hand on the reins of his horse.

Ser Florent was confused at first, until he no longer felt the wound on his hand, “Did you heal me?”

You gave a nod. “I don’t want your lady to think I’m some kind of madwoman.”

He let out a chuckle and removed the stained rag from his hand. “I do not consider you a madwoman, you have that same sweetness in you that Mirena has.”

You jested about it. “Perhaps it’s under a few more layers with me.”

“Nonsense.” He tsked. “Look what you just did, that was sweet. You did not have to do it, but you did anyway.”

That kind flattery was surely a part of how he had managed to earn this woman’s heart.

You saw the chapel come into sight. “Well, we need the knights of the Fey. I should make sure that you can use your hand in battle when needed.”

“I still have my other.” He shrugged it off.

Lancelot had overheard it and gave a scoffing chuckle at the knight’s optimism.

“What?” Ser Florent looked back at him, “Good swordsmen can fight with just one hand. Can’t you?”

“I can.” He said.

“I’ve seen him wield two swords at once.” You bragged a little for him.

Ser Florent was slightly impressed, he looked at him again. “Next time we spar, you are showing that to me again, Ash Man.”

Lancelot feigned a sigh, like he didn’t love to show off his skill in front of others. “Very well.”

Ser Florent whispered in your direction, “Tad arrogant that one, isn’t he?”

“Just a bit.” You grinned.

“Just enough for you, eh?” The knight chuckled.

True. There was a certain alluring aspect that came with it.

Some knights had parted ways with the group, to complete the tasks they had been given to start the plans for the chapel. Some were seeking for healers, another went to arrange matters with the lumberman.

And you? You were appointed the task of removing relics of the Church inside the chapel and stuffing them into a satchel. All what was made of iron would be used to forge weapons, wood could be repurposed for repairs. It still felt strange to break the iron crosses from the pews with your sword, but the sick and wounded Feys would not feel very comfortable surrounded by the symbols of those who sought their extinction. If even you felt a bit strange doing this, you worried how Lancelot must be feeling. This was his past, his upbringing…

You kept an eye on him as he and the knights worked together to move the pews to a more useful position.

“We will need to collect pillows and bed linen.” He told them whilst pointing at the pews. “Those curtains by the entrance will be useful for it.”

The knights looked a bit stunned by the Ash Man’s little care for what happened to what had once been a place of worship. Ser Florent waved them away, signaling for them to take down the curtains as Lancelot had suggested.

He then helped Lancelot move another pew to the side of the building. “I’m glad you are hear with me to help.”

“And I am glad I can help.” Lancelot told him.

It was nice to see them get along so well, Ser Florent treated him like any other, something Lancelot wanted. Someone who would not look at him and see a former monk, but just a man who was trying to do his best. You broke the last cross of off a pew, and they picked it up to move it right after.

“Great work.” Ser Florent praised you.

Lancelot parroted it to you cheekily. “Great work.”

You rolled your eyes at the growing urge for mischief in him. Some of the knights returned with the curtains and began to drape them over the pews, changing the hard surface into a softer one.

“Care to inspect it?” Ser Florent shot you a grin while patting one of the pews with his hand.

“Alright.” You went over to indulge the request.

You laid down on the covered pew. Lancelot shook his head at the sight, amused by it.

“Any opinions?” The knight asked.

“I don’t feel my holiness increasing. So I guess that means it’s fine.” You jested.

This time it was Lancelot who rolled his eyes, and he offered you a hand to get up again.

You let him help you to your feet, chest almost bumping into his which he clearly didn’t mind, “Is it going as you thought it would?”

“Better.” The Ash Man admitted.

The door of the chapel opened and in walked the lumberman with some volunteers and the requested wood. In his profession it was easy to find those handy with a hammer and a saw, they were his most common patrons. Most of the volunteers worked together to fix up the roof, others went into the former sleeping quarters to fix the walls. In mere hours the chapel changed before your very eyes, everywhere you looked someone was working on building this infirmary. Two elder healers had already come to bring their supplies to the new infirmary and with the help of Matthew they arranged for the sleeping quarters to be used as the room for storing medicine. The kitchen transformed into a place suitable for medicine preparation. The village came together to achieve this, everyone was helping everyone. At some point Lancelot even helped Matthew.

You worked in the chapel for hours, building the future of the village with your own hands felt good. By nightfall, the people and most of the knights had already returned home. You were still down in the kitchen, cleaning it up as best as you could so dust would not find it’s way into the medicine that would be prepared there.

Lancelot came to collect you. “The sun has set, we should return to the fort. Ser Florent is waiting for us.”

You put down the wet rag you had been using. “I want you to know that I am thankful for how open you were to do this. This place, a chapel…”

He beckoned for you and watched as you got closer. “Your faith in me, is the only faith I need.”

You reached for his jerkin and used it to pull him in. He understood the unspoken request, his gaze fell down to your lips whilst tilting his head to reach them.

Someone cleared their throat nearby.

Ser Florent still stood with one foot on the steps of the stairs, “Can that wait until we are back at the fort?”

“Where my father is?” You deadpanned.

The knight would hear no excuses, “Since when does that stop you?”

Your mouth fell open, stunned by the wit. Not even Lancelot looked like he had expected to hear it.

Ser Florent bit back a smile. “Come on, we are leaving.”

Like two scolded children, you followed him up the stairs. The chapel no longer looked like a chapel. The pews had been transformed into beds. The alter was now used to hold the bowls with clean water for wound care. It was such a change.

“We did well.” Ser Florent said.

“Indeed.” You and Lancelot echoed.

The remainder of the knights were still carrying in some items as you walked past them to the horses, it was a task to not trip over the materials in the dark left behind for the night.

“Watch your step here.” Ser Florent said, seconds before he tripped over an abandoned hammer himself.

You were the first to reach and help him, Lancelot hooked an arm under his and pulled him up.

“I’m fine. Healing me will not be necessary.” The knight chuckled a bit embarrassed.

Lancelot jested to him, “If it were so, you would be the first to seek healing in our new infirmary.”

Ser Florent send him a look at that witty comment. The knight brushed the dirt from his trousers and proceeded towards his horse. You smacked Lancelot’s arm lightly, giving him a scolding look which he simply looked away from. Lancelot did his best not to laugh when he saw the knight pluck some grass out of his mouth that had gotten in there with the fall. It wasn’t until you went to hoist yourself into the saddle that you felt how tired you had become.

“Ugh.” You uttered your dismay at it.

Lancelot did not even have to ask, “Tired?”

You groaned. “It’s been a while since I’ve been tired from working instead of healing.”

“It builds muscle.” Lancelot said.

“How would you know?” You teased.

That sure earned you half a glare from him, but he knew you were doing it to get on his nerves.

Ser Florent laughed a little, enjoying the dynamic between you and the Ash Man. “Women, they know just what to say.”

Lancelot shared a look with him.

“Oi!” You warned them both if they were to pair up against you. You steered your horse away when they began to chuckle, grumbling, “I’m going home.”

The men followed right behind you for a while as you rode through the village. Villagers were returning to their homes, children hurried to get home before their parents would begin to worry. For a moment it felt like there was no war going on, this place had been spared from the cleansings only because the Church held no power over King Cenred’s lands. But how long before Uther and Cenred would be at war? The Church would surely plead loyal to Uther if it meant they could continue their cleansings in Cenred’s kingdom. The only way forward for the Fey was to rebuild and unite for when the time would come to fight.

Back at the fort, the horses were taken back to the stables. Ser Florent left right after bringing his horse in the stable to rest. As did Lancelot once Goliath was back with your mare for the night, the men had been conversing and probably wanted to continue. You brushed Aella’s coat with some straw, then did the same for Goliath. The sound of someone else leading their horse inside made you look. You stopped brushing Goliath’s coat when you saw Matthew walk in.

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier.” He said upon seeing you in a little rush to leave the stables. He left his horse with Ser Florent’s, and came over to you.

You scoffed. “I don’t believe you.”

Matthew gave a poor excuse for his behavior, “I mean it. It’s just not easy for me to accept that you’re with the ‘Weeping Monk’. Out of all people…”

Really?

Your tone was cold. “It wasn’t easy for me to see you with others after you rejected me either! I never embarrassed or insulted you for it!”

He was looking at you with remorse, but you did not know if it was genuine or not anymore, your trust in him was almost completely gone.

“And stop calling him that!” You nearly snapped it at him, and walked past him to exit the stables. The hope that he would leave you alone vanished when he rushed after you. When you kept walking, he caught you by the wrist.

“What?!” You ripped your wrist free.

Matthew kept a distance, ��Are we really going to act like this to each other? After all these years.”

You tried to calm down a little. “You said it yourself. It’s better if we go our own way.”

He shifted his weight to his other leg. “And I stand by it. But we can still be civil to each other.”

It nearly got you speechless, you were more stunned than angry. “You’re the one who is making this hard. And I’m starting to feel like you keep shifting the blame to everyone but yourself.”

Matthew’s expression changed, like he had finally listened for the first time.

“Have a good evening, Matthew.” You concluded the conversation that had dragged on for too long already in your opinion. Ending the conversation came not a moment too soon, you had just spotted Lancelot waiting at the gate for you.

“You too.” Matthew could be heard calling after you.

Once you had reached the gate, Lancelot asked about it.

“Trouble?” His eyes were like steel as they kept Matthew in their sight.

You took him by the elbow. “No.”

To you, this was nothing more than a confirmation that Matthew was quite selfish. Lancelot walked with you where you passed a chatting couple. Whilst you greeted them politely, the man of the pair was far from it.

~“Whore.”~

The woman he was with was looking at you both in disgust. Lancelot’s whole demeanor changed in the blink of an eye. You stepped in front of him, back facing him while you faced the rude couple.

The anger from earlier had your wit sharp as a blade. “I wasn’t given any payment. He had me without charge.”

It was said with such arrogance and smugness that the Ash Man couldn’t seem to believe that you had said it out loud. The man who had insulted you ran red in the face as the couple hurried away.

Once they were out of hearing range, you cussed him out too. “What a rotten knave.”

It took you another second to notice Lancelot’s flushed face.

“What?” You said.

With a smirk and raised brow, he asked, “Without charge?”

You smiled awkwardly. “Shut it.”

He scratched at his chin, then reached for your hand until he suddenly halted. You turned to see what had gotten his attention.

Squirrel was looking at the both of you a little confused, “What does ‘whore’ mean?”

Lancelot shared a panicking look with you. To hear the word come out of the boy’s mouth gave him quite the fright.

Squirrel got a bit impatient, “I’ve heard it before, I know it’s a cuss. But what does it mean?”

Your mind had gone blank. Was he not too young to learn the meaning of the word?

With a deep breath, Lancelot went over to the boy and beckoned for him to follow. There was a chance that the boy would get quite an awkward answer out of the Ash Man, but you were glad that he took the initiative to be the person the boy could seek guidance from. You watched him walk beside Squirrel slowly, he spoke to him in a low voice so others would not overhear.

“What?!” Squirrel loudly exclaimed all of a sudden.

The poor Ash Man looked like he was completely out of his element.

“But y/n doesn’t kiss a lot of people!” Squirrel was appalled and maybe even disgusted.

You turned and headed in the other direction before Lancelot would call out for your help in this. He would be fine…

~~~♡~~~♡~~~◇~~~♡~~~♡~~~

An hour must have past.

Considering Squirrel was still awake, you went to see if Ciro was in his room. Upon creaking the door open, you found Ciro peacefully asleep. It was getting late and Lancelot had still not brought the boy to the room to sleep. Either the boy was distracting him, or the Ash Man had simply not paid attention to how dark the sky outside had gotten. Your search for them began, on your way to the courtyard you noticed the light coming from under the door to the library. And indeed you found them inside, talking to each other quietly on the floor.

They stopped once they noticed your presence. “Sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s alright.” Lancelot said.

You used the tone Mirena had often used on you when you were small. “Time for bed, young Squirrel.”

Lancelot turned his head to look at the window, he truly must not have noticed the time until then. The boy used Lancelot’s shoulder as support whilst getting up from the ground. It was small things such as this that showed how comfortable they had grown with each other.

“Goodnight.” The boy said to him first, then to you.

“I’ll see you in the morning’s light.” You rhymed.

His eyes flicked to the ceiling for a blink at the silliness. The boy walked out the door.

“Your room is in the other direction.” You called out after him.

Squirrel mumbled something to himself and headed in the other direction. You were trying not to giggle at the child’s attempt to delay his night’s rest further. Lancelot rose from the ground, picking up the book he must have been reading with Squirrel.

You were quite curious as to what they had been talking about, “What were you two chatting about so late?”

There was a solemn look in his eyes. “We spoke about the Fey camp he came from.”

The one he had led the paladins to…

He had apologized. For everything. For every mistake he had made that had hurt the boy directly and indirectly.

“He forgives me. For all of it.” He still couldn’t believe it.

Your heart swelled. “Because he has grown to love you, even if he might not say it out loud to you.”

To him it seemed so unbelievable. “I consider it a miracle that he did not use the knife, that you have given him, on me.”

“You’re the one who sharpened it for him.” You quipped.

He came to stand at your side whilst placing the book back on the shelf. “He is clever. He will grow into a good man.”

You gave a smile. “He has a good example to guide him.”

He appreciated the compliment greatly. “Do not underestimate your own influence on him, he seeks your guidance as much as he seeks mine.”

You stilled when he brushed his hand over the back of your head, it was such a small gesture but it made you feel so loved. His thumb touched your cheek, and then he pulled his hand back.

You bumped into his arm playfully, “What did you tell Squirrel about that insult?”

The look on his face was comical, it must not have been easy to speak to the boy of this. “I told him it was an insult, and why some thought it proper to use it.”

“And?” You pried.

“He knows now that such a thing should never be said. Even if a woman kisses many.” He said and swallowed thickly.

You squinted your eyes at him, “You do know that the insult refers to doing more than just a kiss?”

He gave a look. “I know. But the boy is too young for now. And I had to prevent him from going to throw a rotten egg at the couple.”

Wait… “Where would he get a rotten egg?”

He blinked twice, “He hoards them under his bed. You do not know of it?”

Your mouth fell agape. “Wha-… of course I don’t! Did you tell him to throw them away?”

“Should I?” He actually put genuine thought into it.

“Lancelot.” You scolded.

He surrendered under that scolding look. “I will tell him tomorrow.”

You crossed your arms over your chest, “Tomorrow? Let me guess, after he threw that egg?”

His eyes gave it away. “Perhaps.”

A sigh passed your lips. “Whilst we are speaking of angry knights holding a grudge, what exactly did my father speak to you about last night?”

The Ash Man folded his hands together behind his back. “We spoke for quite some time.”

It was obvious that that conversation had been quite nerve-wracking for him. Of course that only fueled your curiosity. “I’ve never known my father to be capable of having a long conversation…”

He began naming a few things that stood out from that conversation. “He told me he would have murdered me, if our night together had been one with a full moon.”

“Gods…” It was enough to feel embarrassed, you hid your face in your hand, “What else did he say?”

He was a tad amused by the response. “Helio wanted to know everything about my upbringing.”

Oh no… that must have been painful. “Gods, I’m so sorry-”

Lancelot watched you bring your hand around his arm to draw him closer. “Do not worry. I told him what he wanted to know. He wanted to hear how I became who I am now, to understand.”

At least now Helio seemed interested in learning who he was.

“He stopped asking once I began speaking of Goliath.” He said.

You snorted a laugh at that, “What did you tell him about dear Goliath?”

The spark in his eyes when you showed interest on the topic was lovely. “That I found Goliath in the forest as a wild steed. I saw him a couple of times before, but he ran off every time I came close to him.”

By leaning your head against his shoulder, you showed that you were listening.

He quietly continued. “I was only a year or two younger than Percival I believe, when I was near the monastery after one midday, Goliath emerged from the trees and walked over to me with caution. As I sat on the grass, this graceful creature joined my side.”

Maybe the loyal animal had once believed his marks to be tears, maybe Goliath wished to comfort a weeping child. He had bonded with him instantly. There was only Goliath and Father, and often when Father was disappointed, there was only Goliath.

He put a hand over the one you had on his arm. “When I met you, it felt similar to the day I met Goliath. There was something different…”

“A call of destiny?” You asked, not offended that he compared the two meetings.

“I believe it was.” He admitted a long kept secret. “Even now, I can still feel it. Your eyes that glow green, I dreamed of them many a night since we met.”

It was not uncommon for others to never forget the sight of magic. “Probably because I was healing you when you saw it first.”

Slowly, he shook his head. “I know now that destiny has brought us together. I wonder what, or who, else it will bring to us.”

“It brought us Squirrel.” You said.

He hummed in agreement. “The boy bound us together.”

You thought back to when you had almost made the biggest mistake. “I was going to leave you after we fled the paladin camp, but Squirrel refused to come without you.”

Lancelot recalled the moment as well. “Everything could have been different if he was not there. I would not be here. You would have still hated me.”

Many things would have went a different route. “I’d probably be killed by Soran, or eaten by wolves.”

He turned until he was facing you. “We would not be, as we are now.”

It was actually frightening to think of it. All of it happened because Squirrel had convinced you to not leave the Ash Man behind despite your hate for him. If you had been more stubborn…

A lump formed in your throat at the thought, your voice broke. “I can’t envision a life without you…”

He was filled with regret upon seeing you become upset at the mere thought that he would not be with you.

“I’m sorry.” You tried to put on a brave face and felt silly for how it had made you feel.

His arms still came around to encapsulated your form, he wasn’t going anywhere without you. As if it was a certain skill that he did not know he possessed his fingers massaged the back of your scalp soothingly. Always when in his arms, there was the wish to be as close to him as possible. Your hands tangled in his jerkin, your face rested against his chest, anything to be close.

“I will always be with you, by heart and soul.” He gently hushed.

“Always?” You asked.

“Always.” He vowed.

You leaned back a little, looked into his eyes, “Does that mean I won’t be alone in my room tonight?”

His thoughts were racing, you must have noticed how surprised he was to hear the inquiry.

The corner of his mouth curved into a smirk. “I had to evade two arrows for spending a night with you.”

You grinned back at him, teasing, “Surely a man like yourself is not scared away so easily? We don’t have to do anything other than sleep.”

His voice went down into a husk. “You see, that might be a problem…”

“Why?” You asked.

His hand came up and his fingers held your chin. “Because I want you.”

That confession, mixed with the genuine intense interest in his gaze, made you fall silent. He felt your bottom lip with his thumb. When your eyes locked on his lips, you fell at their mercy as they crashed unto yours.

The fear of being hunted down by a crossbow did not stop him from indulging your request to not be alone in the night.

It was as if your lips had not parted, not even as your back hit the mattress of his bed mere moments later and the gasp was let out into his mouth. His hand wandered over you, drowning your body with attention. The hunger in him as he kissed from your shoulder to your neck was setting you aflame. There was more confidence in him, he worked on undoing the bodice, you were as impatient as he was and began to help. He uttered something against your neck. You hummed, not having heard what was said.

“I love you.” He breathed under your ear, repeating it out of fear that you hadn’t heard him well, “I love you very much.”

You curled your fingers in his hair, pressed a kiss to his head. “And I love you. Always and forever.” It was an oath you made.

He got that leather open far quicker than you could have anticipated, his hand went under it immediately. You couldn’t help but be baffled and smile at the eagerness he displayed.

“Gods…” You chuckled a little when he palmed a breast shamelessly.

His mouth latched onto the skin under your ear, sucking it gently, teeth grazing over it.

If he could act this bold, so could you. Your hand teasingly traveled down his chest and to the cord of his trousers, loosening them just enough to slip past the waistband. He choked a breath when feeling your hand wrap around him, he stopped kissing you for a moment and rested his face in the crook of your neck. You brought your other hand back to his hair and softly massaged his scalp. He held the sheet in his balded fist, moaning deeply against your skin. Your knee came up to rest against his hip, his free hand flew to your thigh to hold it close. This was pleasant, to have such control and hear him utter your name in that low tone. You had no objections to him chasing his release like this, the night had only just begun. He was terribly sensitive now, like he had been hoping for this the whole day. He kneaded at the soft flesh of your thigh, nearly panting in your neck.

“Did you miss this?” You teased softly.

He could barely form the sentence. “I… missed… you.”

“You’re so sensitive tonight.” Your observation fell. “Will it not be better if I please you like this first? We can share another moment together once you’ve rested or when you’re up for it again.”

The last time, his body had been ready again quicker than he thought it could possibly be. He had fallen asleep, but woke again minutes later when your knee had grazed near his groin in your sleep, all of him had woken and kept him awake until the feeling had subsided again. If you had not send him out of the room that morning, he would have easily hardened again to offer you a repeat of the night before. And with all that had happened, this longing had increased strongly inside of him. Not long ago he had believed to be spending the rest of his life in a dungeon, unable to ever have a moment such as this with you again. Now that he was free, he would not let a moment like this go to waste. Getting rid of this dire need for release, would make him be able to enjoy you longer afterwards.

The answer came in the form of him putting his hand over the one you were using to stimulate him, he held it loosely as it continued to do so.

“I will reward your generosity.” His lips brushed over your jaw. “In any way you want me to.”

Soft giggles past your lips when his mouth touched a ticklish spot under your jaw. Often he moved into your hold on him, struggling to keep his vocal responses to a low volume.

His mouth stopped moving along your collarbone when the knock at his door sounded. Then a flood of knocks hammered on his door, and he sighed in frustration.

“Who-” You began.

“Ser Florent.” He knew it right away.

Your hold on him went away, and he climbed off of you.

It made you panic a little, “What do I do?”

“The same you made me do?” He grinned, and gestured to the spot behind his door. He got quite a look in return for that, but you did follow the advice

As you stood behind the door, you took the moment to close up your bodice again.

He put on his cloak to hide the state he was in, and only opened the door a little, “Yes?”

Ser Florent stood there, looking quite tired, “You are still awake? Thank the gods. May I ask for a moment of your time? I need some help with escorting a couple of people, who found the rest of the ale from the feast down by the kitchens, to their sleeping quarters.”

From behind the door you heard the Ash Man sigh.

“I will help.” Lancelot told him.

He followed Ser Florent, closing the door of his room behind him and leaving you inside alone. You picked your jacket up from the floor where it had been carelessly abandoned moments ago. It was a pity that the interruption had occurred, you thought it best to just head to your own room for the night.

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